#being concise is not one of my strong suits lol

[ladyjune]

Different Anon for the Simone Situation:

I think it's just hard to manage with actor roles. Every season will have different leads, so if you're an actor why you would want to have a starring role as a leading lady and then all consecutive seasons ( years of your life/career) you're relegated to a supporting character who may not have much of a character arc or plot at all. Especially when in the books a lot of them don’t really show up after their season.

I get what you are saying anon, I guess for me this is a case in which the show has to operate differently than the books.

I think a few of the siblings/in laws popping up throughout the series works fine for reasons that just don’t work in a show format. Mainly that the books primarily focus on one couple. The show however has always been an ensemble. So I think as the show goes on if it includes less and less Bridgerton’s in that said ensemble, it is going to be a lot more noticeable than it is in the books. Especially, if how Daphne and Simons absence has been handled is any clue. They were just wiped from the families entire plot essentially, never to be brought up again. There is only so many big family moments all these characters can miss before it becomes hard to justify.

I don’t think anyone is asking for these returning couples to have these huge plots comparable to the main couple of the season. I think fans just want them to have a story with some substance. That allows us to keep up with these characters, keeps actor’s engaged, and to be worth committing their schedule to. Personally, I think having them come back for a couple scenes just isn’t very realistic, when committing to a contract isnt just as easy as being able to come in a shoot for a couple days and then go do other things. I think the most logical way is to kind of phase them out slowly post their season if that makes sense?

For example, if we got to see Kate and Anthony really learning their new roles last season, topping off S3 with them having baby Edmund, that would have wrapped their story up for me. Then they could have moved Violet and the rest of the unmarried children to number 5 and that could justify seeing less of Anthony and Kate since they would be a Bridgerton house.

Who knows, maybe this whole freak out is all for nothing and Simone will end up returning. It just seems like it will be hard to say this family is this loving, caring, unique family in this otherwise cold society like they claim, if you never really see them all together or interacting like a family 😅

[idealisticrealism]

If Arman is being "unmasked" at the end of ep 2 and rising from ashes this season, wouldn't it make more sense for Thony to be there instead of Nadia? It seems like he is his most authentic self around Thony and she supposedly helps him want to be a better man. Curious to see where S2 goes with these new storylines.

Hi Anon! First off, I absolutely agree with you about Arman being more of his authentic self with Thony and wanting to be better because of her. The impact she has had on him is one of my favourite aspects of the show, as is his impact on her (showing her that she doesn't always have to carry everything alone, that she can be vulnerable and put her trust in someone without it being turned against her, that she matters as a person and not just as a mother or a doctor or any of the other roles she bears, etc etc. Lbr I could go on but that's not the point of this post haha).

Secondly, I'm gonna put the rest under the cut, because lbr we all know by now that being concise is not at all my strong suit lol. (Also I'm gonna tag @vampire-time-lady, as this might address your reply from my recap as well)

So anyway, here goes.

(Warning: while there are no overt spoilers ahead, vague themes/plot arcs for the season will be briefly mentioned. Enter at your own risk).

Okay so I'm just going to put it straight out there: I definitely don't think it makes more sense for Thony to be there at his release instead of Nadia. I mean, would I have loved to see Thony there waiting for him, and then the two of them running right into each other's arms the moment he stepped out of the gate? Of course!! I'm a freakin' Armony fanatic, and I may or may not even have an in-progress fic that might just involve something along those very lines! But while that scene would be a perfectly reasonable thing to occur in the setting of that particular fic, it doesn't make sense for canon. At least, not now; not yet. I have no idea if I'll be able to explain what I mean adequately at all, but I'll try.

I guess for me, the choices that were made for that scene can be broken down into two main aspects: narrative reasons and character reasons. The narrative reasons basically boil down to the fact that the writers are telling a multi-faceted story which needs to develop over the course of a season, and also have room to grow beyond that if they are fortunate enough to be picked up for a S3 (please, TV gods, please give us a S3).

So, the writers not only needed to set up all the stuff that is going to happen this season with Chris and Fi and Thony (and undoubtedly Arman too, because what involves Thony involves Arman, and vice versa lol) as a result of Marco's death-- and it also seems like there could potentially be a developing arc regarding Luca, and his grandfather wanting to take him back to the Philippines-- but the writers also had to highlight Arman and Nadia's relationship, because with the arrival of Robert and his connection to Nadia/his meddling in their gun business, it's clear that he and his agenda are going to play a significant role in the season. So, to put it simply: right now, Armony can't be the focus, because the show isn't there yet. Armony is the destination we're heading toward, and their respective plot lines-- Arman and Nadia/Robert on one hand, and Thony and Chris/Fi on the other-- are how we will get there. Because, like I said, what involves one involves the other, and by finding their way through these challenges together, that's how they'll finally find their way to each other. Season 1 certainly set them on that path, but even with the closeness they've gained already (the trust, the partnership, the physical and emotional intimacy), there are still plenty of barriers in the way before they can actually truly be together.

Which brings us to the character reasons! The basic gist of which is: life doesn't stop happening because two people hold hands across a table! Spouses and obligations don't magically disappear because one person implies to the other that she's staying in the country because of the connection they share! Humans and human relationships are complex and oh boy do these two exemplify that. I mean, consider the context of their situation. Like okay yes, just over a week ago, Thony was brave enough to show a little piece of her heart to Arman and indicate that she had some form of feelings for him (I say 'some form', because honestly there was enough ambiguity there that he couldn't have been 100% sure that she meant romantically), and his response clearly showed that he had feelings of his own (that smile! that eye contact!! aaaahh), and for that one brief shining moment, all the Armony stars aligned and they were finally on the same page.

But almost immediately after that, her son was abducted, and then she was being pulled in two directions between chasing after Luca and getting the money for Arman, her loyalties divided. And then in a single night, Arman was attacked and nearly killed, and Marco died a sudden and tragic death which traumatised her family and still has the power to destroy them if anyone finds out. Now she feels responsible for Marco's life being cut short, for the trauma Chris is going through, for the grief and fear Fi is going through, and for Luca's loss of his father, as well as for Arman nearly dying. Plus there's her own grief-- even if it's clear that she fell out of love with Marco a long time ago and that their marriage was well and truly over before she even came to the US, he was still the father of her child and someone she once cared for a great deal, and though he might have been an asshole, he didn't deserve to die.

So the poor woman has a lot on her plate, and that's not even counting the stress of the cops, or the in-laws, or the funeral arrangements, or balancing two very separate and fairly incompatible aspects of her life, all while trying to get Arman out of jail before she loses him too (deep down she knows how much harder that loss would be to bear). She is spread so thin, and under so much scrutiny, that she wouldn't even have the freedom to go pick him up from the prison even if she felt like she had the right to-- which, naturally, she doesn't. She is all too aware that he is married, and that her own connection to him falls within strict boundaries-- that their interactions, while clearly laced with an emotional and romantic undertone, have always had to be constrained to dealings regarding the business or Luca. Picking him up from his release from prison falls under neither of those categories, and honestly it probably wouldn't even occur to her that it might be her he wants to see there waiting for him rather than Nadia. Because when it comes down to it, she really doesn't know what their relationship means, or will mean; while she likely knows that his feelings for her are genuine, she can't be sure whether they will be enough for him to want to pursue something with her, given that doing so will mean he has to give up his marriage-- bc honestly, how could she truly know if he would be willing to take that gamble on a relationship that may not even work out??

As for Nadia-- honestly, I feel for her. She is still his wife, and his partner in both life and business, and she went to some pretty great lengths to get him free. She cares about him immensely, and it's only right that she's the one to be there at his release; plus it's what all three characters expect, tbh? Even if Arman would prefer to see Thony there waiting for him, he's still happy to see Nadia, and grateful for all that she did for him. He genuinely does love her, and even if that love may have now been surpassed by what he feels for Thony, it's not erased by it. And so if he and Nadia did kiss upon their reunion, it would absolutely make sense? A kiss can mean many different things; it can be romantic, sexual, obligatory, friendly, or familial, just to name a few possibilities-- and tbh it would be perfectly understandable for him to kiss her to show her his gratitude for helping to rescue him from prison, and to reassure her that he is okay after all he went through. It'd be rather a different kiss than the one he would have shared with Thony in that moment, but like I said, the show just isn't there yet with Armony. Which is why I think we should all prepare ourselves for quite a few Arman/Nadia scenes to come, and remind ourselves that each one is just another step on the way to the Armony endgame, because each one will be a reminder for Arman of who he really wants to be with.

And okay anyway I need to stop rambling and go to bed, but thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, and I am so sorry lol

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episodes 5 & 6

Since these are extraordinarily late, I tried to keep them more concise/focused than before. I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to (almost) catch up. And to the handful of you who’ve enjoyed these and encouraged me to do them: thank you!

Episode 5, “Get Right With God”

the music at the beginning of this episode might just be in the maintenance guy’s headphones(!) but it was still a…Choice.

there’s something so tragic about watching Clarice be unable to use her legs… :’(

this whole scenario feels like a twisted parallel universe version of the end of Hannibal.

glad to see Ardelia finally has her priorities straight and is going to fight for her best friend! let’s forget her Episode 4 subplot ever happened.

good: the warrior finding a weapon even in the direst of circumstances!

bad: those damn moths are back. at least this time they might be drug-induced.

“she worked Bill alone” no, she didn’t. not really. (Hannibal: I’m right here.)

stop trying to make Likable Paul happen, it’s never going to happen!!!

I HATE the “Reesey” nickname, y’all. HATE. IT.

plus, we know that her dad called her “Baby”?

her father’s appearance doubles down on the end-of-Hannibal vibes...Not Sure If Want.

wow, Clarice is being literally tortured? thanks, I hate it!!!

really doubt that Clarice’s Pinto used to belong to her father (who drives a truck in the books??)... weird flex.

and how would she even have gotten it? her mother would either have driven that car into the ground out of necessity or else have sold it for the money the Starlings needed so desperately.

Pintos also weren’t super high-quality cars and were definitely not built to last ~20 years.

Clarice already being able to chat with her father whenever she needs to really undermines the therapy Hannibal will eventually give her, but…I guess they’ve already accepted they’ll never make it that far?

“you’re trying to get in my head” yeah, and she’s doing it, too–’cause she learned from the best!

“you get an answer, I get an answer, Felker.” she’s Hannibal’s girl all right.

this episode’s had flashes of brilliance before diving back into…whatever tf watching one of your favorite characters of all time being tortured is.

I really wanted Ardelia to say that no, but Clarice was like a sister to her.

it took FIVE episodes to get some lamb imagery, but we’ve been looking at moths for the entire season?!

oof, Clarice voicing her own insecurities about her childhood abandonment and using them to twist Felker’s arm...painful but smart.

HANNAH!!!

I would die 4 baby Clarice

after all that, Clarice is going to apologize to Ardelia about last week? this episode SUCKS.

Good: Clarice playing mind games with Felker like Hannibal did to her; Ardelia going to bat for her bestie, lamb flashbacks, baby Clarice, and HANNAH!

Bad: So much. Clarice being medically tortured multiple times, moth hallucinations, the several-years-premature (imo) Daddy-as-Guardian-Angel plot device, “Reesey”...did I mention Clarice getting repeatedly tortured?!

Ugly: Krendler backstory + making out with his wife. Ew.

Wow, this episode was a hot mess, and I kind of hated it. I loved Clarice’s really Hannibalesque approach to Felker, and I’m so thrilled that Hannah got mentioned at all (tho...did they need to be so heavy-handed with the helmet and gun and everything?) Also nice to see Ardelia behaving much more in-character. That said, it was sickening and imo totally unnecessary to further traumatize Clarice the way they did. To make her almost helpless.

Clarice, and by extension Rebecca Breeds (who is fantastic and deserves better), has been given very little range so far. She’s frequently been shown as miserable, afraid, desperate, traumatized, angry, resentful, but I also want to see her joyful, laughing, silly, relaxed...something else that will give her depth. Her life wasn’t miserable 24/7, 365. It was just unfulfilling. We got glimpses of this in the first two episodes. PLEASE bring it back!

And rn I’m questioning how Clarice’s career can possibly drag on for another six years after this. Her apparent PTSD is already interfering with her job performance as it is--this experience is only going to make it worse. Her “body count” in Hannibal was around five, iirc, and that was enough to slap her with the “Death Angel” moniker. In the show at least four people have died in close proximity to Clarice in the space of like...a week. How does she come back from that, even as the savior of Catherine Martin? It’s a PR nightmare for obth Clarice and the FBI.

They’ve also sort of forgotten that the Martins existed while continuing to flesh out Krendler’s (?!) character? It’s weird.

I almost don’t even want to watch Episode 6 after that. But here goes...

Episode 6, “How Does It Feel to Be So Beautiful?”

the freaking MOTHS again, I hate them!

frankly, yeah, Clarice should be on leave.

Clarice’s nondescript monochrome suits and constant ponytail are just so boring. in the book she’s described as never having to put effort into making her hair look good--so why is it always pulled back in this show?

I’m not sure it’s very in-character for Clarice, at this point in her career, to go over her boss’s head to get out of admin leave (one she really needs to take tbh) even for the sake of solving a case

lol what the actual hell @ AG Martin guilt-tripping Clarice, who was very recently tortured and almost died, for not calling Catherine back? Clarice is not Catherine’s therapist!

THIS is what my Vogue-reading heroine with burgeoning great taste wears for a night out? so disappointing.

never in my life did I think I’d be sitting through Krendler’s personal drama in a show ABOUT CLARICE STARLING.

her costume sucks and her hairstyle’s from years in the future, but dang does Clarice look gorgeous.

and I love thinking of her getting a taste of the luxury she’ll enjoy with Hannibal. :)

you know what? I think I was actually fine with them forgetting that the Martins were in this show.

whyyy is Krendler being made so sympathetic?!

now Catherine Martin “loved to sew” just like Frederica Bimmel? hmm. (tbf, maybe this is in the novel, and I’ve just forgotten.)

her gift for Clarice is sweet, though.

so beautiful, indeed

Christ on a cracker, that confrontation between the Martins was painful to watch (not a criticism). this show’s AG and her daughter are very much two of a kind in terms of emotional manipulation.

I stan one (1) doofus

now either Catherine’s gaslighting Clarice...or Clarice’s trauma (over BILL! again with this!) is so pervasive that it’s twisted her memories. either way, I hate it.

so Krendler’s lawyer is dirty and that’s why he’ll (probably) turn against Clarice? but WHY? why can’t Krendler just suck?

Good: Clarice looking gorgeous, Ardelia continuing to fight for Clarice, female characters in positions of authority everywhere

Bad: Clarice’s underwhelming costumes, Clarice’s primary/worst trauma apparently STILL being Buffalo Bill & having Clarice break down crying again (and NOT over what happened last week, which would tbh make a lot more sense).

Sad: Shaan’s backstory about his wife, everything involving Catherine

Ugly: Krendler subplot. Ugh.

I just don’t know how I feel about this installment. Wish I cared more about the overarching conspiracy plot, but I’m really only here for Clarice and Ardelia. And while no show can stand on the shoulders of a single character, for a show about Clarice, there seems to be quite a bit of screentime devoted to her bosses, Martin and Krendler, and even to her team members. And all without Clarice herself getting much character development. They don’t seem to be exploring much of her character other than her traumatic backstories, and I’m no longer very hopeful that she’ll be much more fleshed out in the last four episodes, either. It’s a bummer. I really think Rebecca could shine like Jodie did if she were given a chance.

Most of the scenes with the Martins were visceral and felt so real that it was hard to watch. That said...the AG Martin/Catherine content all strikes me as being somewhat detached from the rest of the show, as if the writers are making it up as they go along with no real end goal in mind.

Man...these two were rough going. Very little humor or warmth and absolutely no joy. Of course the source material is dark, so a somewhat dark crime drama is to be expected, but I really think the show needs a slightly less intense, bleak and (dare I say it?) unpleasant episode. But they writers have really dug themselves into a hole by zeroing in on Clarice’s PTSD. And unlike in Hannibal, there’s no love interest with whom she (and by extension, the audience) can flee her misery and pain. 

I'm cautiously optimistic about the rest of the season. A lot of the ingredients are there, and despite my many criticisms, it’s been great to spend time with a character I love. Fingers crossed that they finish strong!

[bandsanitizer]

Hello again

I appreciate you taking the time to reply and no disrespect was taken. I always enjoy seeing what a non Blaine Stan thinks, if they can back up their arguments succinctly with valid arguments . Even if we isn’t agree. Yours is a good analysis, different from the usual accusations that he’s toxic, abusive, whiny clingy, and the same scenes over analysed and misconstrued. I’d be very interested in hearing your views on Kurt, perhaps in Pm , as we don’t want to be ripped apart by extreme stans. Who are your favoured characters on Glee?

Hi! And I’m glad to hear! Concision isn’t my strong suit if you couldn’t tell lol so the response is below the cut

I’ve seen some of those arguements and while I get where they’re kind of coming from, I wouldn’t say there’s an inherent toxicity to his character. Like he’s not the best but he tries and he’s one of the few that seems to genuinely recognize his mistakes, own up to them, and apologize.

As for Kurt, it’s a mix of the biphobic comment from s2 and how it never feels like his mistakes or flaws are perceived that way? By himself particularly. I’ve heard that the whole biphobic thing was a reflection of the writers but by putting it in the show it becomes part of his character and then it’s a whole debate of “is this poor/lazy writing or intrinsic to him?” and either way you see it changes how to view the scene and while I’m all for the benefit of the doubt on it, it’s never something readdressed and I just feel... For me I feel like it’s part of his character and while he could’ve changed his opinions later in the series, I don’t really know. Idk it’s a very personal thing more so then “I hate him”

Then for his mistakes the Chandler situation comes to mind and while Blaine may have jumped the gun with calling it cheating and the song (though I appreciate the drama of that whole scene and concept), it doesn’t seem like he ever felt bad about it until Blaine admitted to feeling afraid of being alone once Kurt moves to NY. Like his attitude prior to that confession when they meet with Mrs. P frustrates me because even if it wasn’t cheating or intended to hurt Blaine—it did! and Kurt doesn’t feel remorseful at all (song choice was just... really bad and the episode painting Blaine as the one who should feel the most guilty? particular with the shot of Blaine at the end of the performance?) I just feel like he’s rarely shown to feel guilty for his mistakes and the show rarely has him face consequences for them.

And it sometimes feels like he’s sometimes waiting for things to happen because the universe owes him for the shit he’s gone through. Not to say that he hasn’t gone through some terrible things, because the universe really didn’t treat him kindly on a lot of things. Mostly I just don’t vibe with his character. Like you ever meet someone and you can’t completely figure out what but you’re like “I just do not care for you”? It’s like that. That being said, I understand the value of his character and his arcs in the show—particularly in earlier seasons—and appreciate his character for that and such and I don’t mean for any of this to be hateful because he seems like a good person and I don’t passionately dislike him or anything. He, like most characters on the show, deserved a lot better and had a lot of potential the show kind of didn’t see through.

And I apologize but that’s as much as I can really say on my opinions for him and I hope none of that was too mean? comes across unfounded? For him particularly it’s just a lot of personal things that affect my perception of is character and whether that disagrees with people 🤷🏻‍♀️ but yeah. I don’t like discussing it much as to not step on any toes.

But hmmmm... Would you be surprised to hear Blaine is my favorite character? I guess for me “liking a character” and having a “favorite character” are separate ideas. Sort of. My favorite characters in any media tend to be the ones I can connect to and feel a lot of feelings about. Blaine, thus, is exactly that plus his singing is great and I think Darren does a great job at playing Blaine. And I appreciate his particular level of chaos:

“GAP attack! First day at this new school I’m going to sing in the courtyard! Let’s have a sing off in a parking garage! My bf moved states so I’m going to join 23 clubs and run around in a superhero costume for a superhero I made up but is definitely a play on a certain original sidekick’s second alias! How else to show this dude I love him than to get back together for a day then propose with a big song by all the glee clubs ever at the exact spot we met!” + him hopping on furniture and pianos (oh gosh the stress it gives me everytime they stand/sit on the piano—)

and him being ready to fight people bigger than him (Sam, Karofsky) I know is rooted in his past with bullying but outside of that context it’s a little funny. because I’m sure he can throw a punch but he also looks very small and his willingness to throw a punch when all the McKinley boys start their fights by pushing each other for a while is a little hilarious. Blaine really captures that more absurd side of the show. Y’know the whole high school musical “people don’t actually break out into song like this” except Blaine definitely does.

Other characters I might say are favorites: Marley, Sam, Tina, Santana, Brittany, Elliot, Burt. Do The Warblers as a whole count? And overall my heart just breaks a tiny bit for the potential all the characters had to grow and change over the show but kind of just... didn’t? And Finn as a teacher was good for him and I do wish we had gotten to see that develop more.

Moral of the story is that when it comes to Glee I think way too much about everything and my opinions on it because WOW there are a lot of very strong opinions on it and as a show with a great amount of diversity not necessarily being great writing/representation... There’s just a lot to juggle. Sometimes I’m just like “I like how your voice sounds in this song! You’re in my top 10!” or “If the show developed why you’re doing what you’re doing waaaay more then you’d be a really intriguing character that I feel a lot of emotions about!” Idk it’s like most characters I’ve empathized with at one point or another then also been like “wtf? who does that?” so yeah. Glee overall just has a weird place in my heart. It’s terribly good and also really messed up and I think there are songs they shouldn’t have done and I’m so glad the show isn’t around to do but also some of their covers and performance are brilliant and terrific (cough syrup, smooth criminal, and ND nationals performance in s3 among them).

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

Writing Tips (Pt. 3): Writing Believable and shippable relationships in literature.

Hello friends! First of all, let me say a HUGE thank you for the support on the Kataang post! I worked really hard on it and it means so much to me all the little notes you give it and reblog it! I know it’s not at a huge number of notes, but I like knowing that people took time to read through the endless rant and reblog it! I’m planning on doing another full analysis on Zutara and why specifically it doesn’t work. I’ll make it respectful though as I know that a lot of Kataang fans are REALLY defensive and anti-zutara. I promise I’m not one of those people, and believe that no matter who you ship, your opinions on fictional characters are your opinions and you are FULLY entitled to ship and like whatever you want (as long as it’s not incest or a huge age gap. PLEASE don’t ship that stuff lol. U nasty mfs know who u are.) Speaking of ships, let’s talk about writing them. Writing ships for movies, books, shows, etc. can be surprisingly hard. Writing characters themselves can be hard enough as it is, but writing a pair of characters that fit together like a puzzle piece can feel impossible. Nevertheless, I’m here to make that process a little bit easier. When I’m trying to set up a relationship that’s going to happen, here are some things that I keep in mind to make sure that I and the audience of my writing  ship the characters I have end up together. 

DISCLAIMER before I get a’rantin: I am by NO means telling you how or what to write and am by NO means a professional writer of any sorts. I’m doing this mostly because I write a lot and speak from my own personal experiences with writing and because these are just the things that I found work best when writing my own stories. I also read and analyze a lot of others work on my own personal time, and these are just the details that I pick up on that I find makes a piece of writing effective. With that in mind, remember that writing is and art form, and the beauty of that is that there’s no one right way to do it. Ever. You can read the same thing as another person and interpret it in a completely different and unique way. 

1. Complementary Characters usually work out best. 

This is more than the classic “opposite’s attract” theory, and characters don’t necessarily have to be opposite to be complementary. Some things to think about when thinking of and writing complementary characters:

-Complementary doesn’t necessarily mean complete opposite in every single way. Often times I find it much more helpful to have characters share a common interest in hobbies, upbringing, childhood trauma (that one’s a bit overdone these days), etc. so that they’re not butting heads all the time. Just like yin and yang, theres a bit of darkness in the light and vice versa. To keep the balance harmonious, you can’t have characters be polar opposites and have no common ground. That leads to what many people consider a toxic ship, and will either lead to an unrealistic balance that inevitably leads your characters to be fighting all the time. 

-Keeping common interests in mind, often times the paces where character’s contrast is in their personalities. (Shy and bold, heart and head, bubbly and brooding, quiet and gregarious, etc.) Different personalities often are able to balance each other out and hold each other accountable for their weaknesses.

-Going off of that, one character’s strength is another’s weakness, and all traits are both. A character’s empathy can lead them to be loved by many, but may cause them to starve themselves and drain their cup so there’s none left to take care of themselves. A character’s logic may lend them top of class or calm in stressful situations, but can lead them to be insensitive to others and even their own emotions. Your characters should balance each other out and work well together, and part of this is helping each other grow from their weakness. 

-This one isn't as important, but what I also find super compelling, especially in film and tv shows is when the authors/writers deliberately choose to give the characters complementary color palettes. (I dove more into this on my Kataang analysis so go read that if you’re super interested.) If the character’s look ascetically pleasing together, it makes shipping them a whole lot easier. Focus on orange and blue, yellow and purple, red and green, and any variation of those colors together. 

2. Buildup

Often times one of the biggest critiques of ships that just don’t work out is that there’s not enough buildup or foundation to have a romantic relationship. It seems obvious, but if you’re going to have them end up together, there’s going to need to be some buildup or else the entire relationship will feel wrong and contrived no matter how pleasant you make it. 

Some tips for increasing and establishing buildup:

-Have your otp spend time together as friends first. I personally find that the healthiest and most successful ships are friends before they’re lovers. This is why Kataang specifically works so well, but Korrasami, Romionie, and Liesel and Rudy from the Book Thief are all good examples. If you observe these ships, all of these characters spend time together as friends first. Korra and Asami were able to bond and become friends over a toxic guy (cough cough MAKO) and eventually developed feelings for one another. Ron and Hermione weren’t romantically interested in other people and were friends until they started seeing other people and found out they liked each other. Liesel and Rudy were best friends before anything else and Liesel didn’t realize her feelings until it was too late. 

-Time together. When your otp spends time together, make sure that whatever time is being spent together is time that they both enjoy. No, the activity itself doesn’t have to be enjoyable to both characters, but the time spent together should be. If the characters really aren’t enjoying the time spent together, then it’s never gonna work out. I’ll use the ship that I’m writing as an example. Currently, I’m in the process of writing a third atlas series and we’ll use my characters Liang and Hana. (Yea I used my own name for one of my characters. I think it suits her bc she’s basically my clone, just, she’s the avatar. I’m going to change both of their names once I do more research and can find culturally and historically accurate names.) Liang REALLY loves pro-bending matches. Hana, not so much. She still goes with him to see matches and attends his matches when she can. On the flip side, Hana really loves going to her favorite tea shop. Liang vastly prefers a strong cup of coffee, but he goes with her anyways. Why would they choose to do something that they don’t necessarily like? Because that’s more quality time spent with each other and doing something for the other person. 

3. Romantic Gestures

Going off of my last point, we have the art of romantic gestures. These can range to things anywhere from a hug, to an elaborate firework display, to a locket with both of their pictures in it. Make sure that the romantic gestures are there! It’s gotta be clear that both characters are thinking about one another and consciously choose to do something for the other person. Here are some fun ways to do it:

-Remembering a gift the other character wanted. This one’s cliche but it works, because often times the best way to show affection is through physical gifts and objects. Think coffee from a favorite shop, handwritten notes, that piece of clothing the other has been eyeing, etc. 

-~symbolism~ *add chime here* By that I mean have an object to symbolize their relationship with, like Korrasami’s iconic hair pin or Liesel’s book that Rudy retrieved for her. This way, the readers not only have a visual representation of their favorite ships, but the object can physically link characters together and make a vague relationship full cannon. (I know for sure that someday when I get a tattoo, I want the hairpin tattooed on my wrist, ankle or side of my body.) 

-PDAs. Works best in film and visual stuff, but still applies for everything. I’m talking cuddles, kisses, falling asleep in each other’s arms, the whole shebang. I mean how much clearer can you make it than a pda?

-Love languages. Each person loves in their own unique way. Have characters figure out and learn each other’s love language. It really shows and adds a whole other layer to the cake. This one can make a ship that feels a little bland have more depth and realism, because in the real world, healthy relationships are formed and aided by learning and applying each other’s love language. 

4. Dialogue. This one can be hard to master, but once you do, it’s a breeze. First off, I recommend getting all your ideas out, and editing. DON’T EDIT AS YOU GO! This is often tedious and super annoying, so get everything out first, and go from there once you have a decent amount to work with. Dialogue is tricky, because dialogue in and of itself is meant to communicate and express feelings. Here are some tips and steps to at least get a start: 

a. Know EXACTLY how your characters feel about one another, and make that evident through communication. It seems obvious (again) but this really helps and I find that putting myself in the character’s shoes for a second and really thinking about it helps to decide exactly what they would say in a given situation, especially if the scene you’re writing involves confrontation about feelings for one another. 

b. Dialogue is more than just talking. Body language, tone, facial expressions, etc. are all part of dialogue too and are SUPER important! In the real world, humans communicate through more than just words, and sometimes a playful grin, grimace, crossed arms, or pout is much more effective than a character outright saying something. 

c. Once you’ve written the dialogue out, be concise and smart about your dialogue and pare it down as much as you can. Often times, adding too much dialogue can make a scene boring and flat. Use your words sparingly! The purpose of writing is to covey a story or message and often times this can be done effectively with less words rather than more. The main point in dialogue itself is to provide necessary context and information. Otherwise, don’t use it.

d. Make sure the conversation is two sided. This (say it with me now) SEEMS OBVIOUS, but make sure that both people are talking/communicating. it’s a conversation, not a speech. (Unless it is a speech or declaration of some sort.)

Before I go: A QUICK (Long) PSA ON TOXIC SHIPS: 

The concept of a toxic ship is very common in a lot of literature. Often times writers choose to include elements that may be toxic to heighten romantic tension in a story. While I do recognize that this sometimes may be a stylistic choice, there are MUCH better and effective ways to create tension that having something be toxic. Toxic relationships in my opinion share one purpose, and that is to establish a relationship’s toxicity and ineffectiveness. I don’t recommend writing these into a story unless it’s an obstacle for your characters to overcome, and having a character forgive the toxic actions of another character and still end up with them isn’t the right move because it completely disregards and diminishes the effects of what happened previously.

One of the best examples I can think of is Reylo from the new sw trilogy. I did touch on this briefly in a couple of my earlier posts (The Effect Of Modern Day SW characters and My Tips for Writing (In General) which I highly suggest you go read bc they both took me a bit of time and state the purpose more in depth) but I think I’ll quick reiterate and say that it wasn’t a good choice on the writer’s part to have some of the dialogue be so intense and vicious and then have them end up together. I still like the idea of Ben Solo and Rey together and ship them together out of cannon, but in cannon, it’s the perfect example of an ineffective ship. There was little to no build up, the dialogue was often spiteful and sharp, and it escalated a bit too quickly. I would’ve liked to see more of Ben Solo (NOT Kylo) and him feeling sorry for and repenting for the bad that he’s done before he and Rey end up together. Yes, we’re all suckers for the enemies to lovers trope, but PLEASE make sure to filter out the toxins before boarding your ships and watching them sail. 

That’s it for now! I hope this helps a little when writing shippable characters! I’m always free to rant to and to critique. I’m going to start posting as much as I can, because these guides help me too! Check out my other ones if you’d like to know tips for writing in general and I made another one on how to write characters. 

[dramionediscussion]

(1/2) People need to know that it's okay just writing a romance without some massive twist/jeopardy at the end that hasn't been built up properly and really comes out of the blue. I don't know if they're trying to give the characters something to overcome but in most dramione, even just a simple romance, they normally have to overcome a lot without their being some villain at the end that they need to stop.

(2/2) But a lot of the time it feels forced as of the author thinks it needs some of that drama and action maybe coz it's Harry Potter and the books were like that? But a lot of them don't need it; especially when it was a romance up until that point. Love to hear your thoughts on those action sequences and villains that come out of nowhere... Lol, being concise is not my strong suite!

Edit:

AGREED! I hate it when a romance fic has unnecessary drama! Or when they do have one drama moment, another comes, then another. It’s not needed and it's like damn well it's best if these two characters don’t end up together if the whole world seems to be conspiring against them.

I love cleotheo’s fics because of this reason, she doesn't have too much drama in her fics. It’s simple and easy to read and I much prefer that to a convoluted plot. 

I do think some authors may feel pressured to not have a simple plot, especially if more popular authors constantly put out complicated ones. They may think they need to compete with them. Or sometimes I feel like authors have so many ideas that they just wanna add them all to one fic when really it may be best to put into another and/or give that plot its own story.

Maybe they feel a romance story is just boring? It doesn’t have to be, you can add drama and conflict without having an action/adventure plot point.

- Lisa

[the-lupine-sojourner]

Chestnutfest 2k19 Prompt 1: Shared Dream/Gift

So I am trying to challenge myself to do new things this year, and as such when I stumbled upon this Krillan/18 fest, I figured why not? 

This fest is all thanks to @chestnutisland and we all owe them a debt of gratitude for organizing an even to appreciate one of my favorite couples in Dragonball. 

If y’all want in on the action, Here’s a link to the post with the info! 

Anyway,I will try my best to do every prompt! We shall see though lol! Hope y’all like this! I wanted to try a Soulmate AU. 

I also briefly use my OC, Sarada, in this story. She is Vegeta’s younger sister and her love interest is Piccolo. :)

Fair warning: no real editing went on after writing and it is past midnight, but I wanted to get this out. Hope this doesn’t suck too bad! 

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

Krillan was confused. Once a week, he had his Dream. 

It was supposed to be a hint at who his Soulmate was, but it was confusing. 

In the dream, he was trembling and facing a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman in a white shirt and black vest with a pearl necklace, black gloves, and bracelets around her slender yet strong looking wrists. He seemed afraid of her, like she would murder him. 

But she, this mystery woman, was apparently his soulmate, right? So why was she his enemy? 

But then she came over, smiling, and kissed his cheek. If she was the enemy, why would she kiss him like that? 

Maybe she was messing with him, or maybe she realized who he was in that moment. 

The only way to find out was to wait. 

=#=#=#=#=

Android 18 had almost forgotten the Dream, wondering who the bald man trembling before her was. 

She never put stock in the Soul Dreams or whatever they were called. Neither did she think she had a Soulmate since she was...upgraded. 

She ignored her dreams, and after a while, she hardly even noticed them. 

Then...there he was. Android 17 and her had taken care of his little friends in their quest to find and kill Goku. She almost didn’t recognize him. So what she’d seen him in her dreams occasionally? Meant nothing to her. 

The kiss was to unbalance them so the bald guy would be less likely to follow them. 

And it seemed to work. As he was unbalanced, trembling where he stood. 

So why was her heart beating faster, her cheeks feeling warmer than normal? 

And why was she feeling a little tingly? 

=#=#=#=#=

Krillan was stunned. Up til now, he had never known who his soulmate was. 

Now he knew...and he had no idea what to do. 

There was no mistaking it. That tingling feeling that spread from where her lips met his cheek to his whole body sealed his fate; his Soulmate was an Android. 

He never would have guessed he’d be paired with Android 18, the being that could (and did in an alternate timeline) kill everyone he knew and cared about, him following suit, apparently. 

He didn’t know how to handle this. 

So he didn’t bring it up. He just kept going...until he was handed the detonator. 

Now, he literally held his soulmate’s life in his hands. He had the power to blow her up. 

While it would ensure Cell couldn’t become perfect, it would also mean...he would never have a soulmate. 

He tried. He honestly tried to make himself do it. 

But he failed. He couldn’t actually hit the button. He smashed the remote beneath his heel. 

He’d do what he could to protect her from Cell, little as he was aware that was. He’d try to make sure the fact that the woman Cell was after was his soulmate wouldn’t destroy the world and everything he cared about. 

=#=#=#=#=

Android 18 turned to spot the bald man who gave her those weird sensations before standing there. It took only another second to see why. 

He held a remote in his hands, and she could only assume what it did. Her heart skipped. She thought he...she didn’t think he’d…

But of course he would. It was between her and the world. What other choice could he have made? 

What other choice did she expect him to--wait what?! He--he smashed the remote! Why?! 

“You can sneak off to the other side!” He barks. She was too stunned to move. Why did it effect her so much? Why did her heart kick up again, and why did that tingling return?

“Why are you doing this?” She asks. “You could have shut me down, but you didn’t. What are you trying to achieve?” He started, like he hadn’t expected that question.

“We-well, you see...um...we need to talk.” Was all he said, but it struck some chord in her, somewhere very deep. It made her heart beat faster, her cheeks heat up. She almost realized what he was talking about, her body reacting to the impending realization. 

Unfortunately, that feeling was suddenly ruined when Trunks noticed what Krillan had done and was doing, grew upset, and drew Cell’s attention to them. 

Add to that a powerful flash of light from Cell, and it was a recipe for disaster. As soon as the tail enveloped her, her world went absolutely blank. 

=#=#=#=#=

“Destroy it now! It’s still alive!” Those words almost paralyzed Krillan. How could Vegeta be so cruel to someone who needed help? 

“No! She’s hurt!” Vegeta’s eyes narrow. “C’mon, she’s not that bad! She just needs some help, that’s all!’ Krillan narrowed his eyes. He wouldn’t let anyone kill Android 18. 

Now he just had to tell everyone why he was suddenly so protective of her. 

“You’re pathetic!” Vegeta growls. Krillan could live with that. As long as 18 survived. “Go do what you want to.” Vegeta continues resignedly. It as clear he didn’t like what was happening, but Krillan could appreciate Vegeta’s restraint here. He nods. 

“Thank you.” He flew all the way to Kami’s lookout with her. 

After everything that had happened, it was a small ray of hope that Android 18, his soulmate, was alive. He just had to tell her that they were soulmates and then convince her that it wasn’t the end of the world. 

And then he had to tell his friends that he was soulmates with the being that could’ve killed them. 

He stayed with her as everyone processed the events they’d witnessed. Krillan himself took a few moments himself to start his own processing. 

The might Gohan had displayed, the cowardly tactic Cell resorted to, and the price they all paid for it. It all happened so fast. It wasn’t that long ago that 18 had kissed his cheek, and started this entire thing. And he had then lost and found her again. He didn’t intend to lose her again. 

=#=#=#=#=

18 came to all at once, feeling strangely okay. She jack-knifed into a seated position. That bald man was the first thing she saw, and for some reason that calmed her a little. 

The next thing she noticed was that she wasn’t on the island she’d been absorbed on. She was laying on some stone floor of a kind of courtyard. She then noticed no visible landmarks around her. In fact, there didn’t seem to be anything around wherever she was. 

That erased any comfort the bald man’s presence had brought her as she instantly got to her feet. She hated being somewhere she didn’t know.

Someone was saying something, but she wasn’t paying attention, as she looked around. There was a small Namekian near her, as well as a strange being that was pitch black colored. Nothing made sense. Where was she? 

Seeing the bald man smile at her made her feel a tiny bit better, but she was still very overwhelmed. “Hey, we can put the past behind us, can’t we?” He asked. 18 was too focused on her surroundings to answer. “Now that Gohan’s beat Cell,” (at the cost of his best friend) “we can all be friends!” That snapped her out of her paralysis. 

“Gohan did?” She replies. 

“You bet he did! Gohan’s incredibly strong, so you can forget about punching holes in anyone!” That made no sense, so 18 ignored it. 

“You should thank Krillan, 18.” The larger Namekian muses. She just now noticed that he was even there. 18 then looks at the bald man. Krillan, huh? An odd name for an odd man. Speaking of Krillan, his smile grew as the larger Namaekian continues. “He stayed at your side the entire time since Cell spit you out.” Besides the fact that Cell apparently spat her out, 18 was stunned that someone she was prepared to kill, who could have killed her, could care enough about her to stay with her. Krillan blanched, unprepared to reply. 

“D-aahh, it was nothing, really. I mean, I enjoyed it- -I mean, I couldn’t leave you there.” The boy, Gohan, seems to reach a revelation. 

“I got it!” He proclaims, drawing attention to himself. “Krillan, you’re soulmates with Android 18, aren’t you?!” 

=#=#=#=#=

Krillan did not know how to talk to Android 18 at all. 

But Gohan took it to a whole new level of unknown territory with that statement. He’d wanted to discuss it slower with Android 18, not just drop the bomb right off the bat. 

Instinctively, he punched the kid in irritation. “Thanks, Mr. Smooth!” He growls. He turns to 18. “S-sorry.” He mumbles. Everyone else is stunned. 

“What?!” Yamcha exclaims. “How could you?!” Sarada, as usual, was back in the background, close to Piccolo. She steps forward. 

“We can’t choose who we’re paired with, idiot.” She explains impatiently.  “Good luck, Krillan.” She muses, appearing genuine, then resumes her silence, standing closer to Piccolo, her hand subtly reaching for his. 

Krillan laughs in response. Trust Sarada to get things back on track with a good concise declaration. 

18, however, looked positively outraged when Krillan looked at her again. 

=#=#=#=#=

Upon hearing that she had a soulmate, and one so peculiar, 18 felt betrayed by the universe, like she was being punished with a partner so opposite to her that they’d never work. Her irritation only grew when Krillan began to laugh. Nervous laughter ot not, it sent her over the edge. “Expect me to fall at your feet now?!” She growls. “Big strong man rescues me and turns out to be my soulmate, so I’m his forever, right? Not that easy!” She didn’t want to just marry him and start a life because they were, allegedly, soulmates. She wanted to want a life with him. She wanted to grow a bond with him first. 

When did she become such a sap?! She needed to clear her head and process everything she’d learned and been told. “Don’t follow me, Krillan!” She barks, taking off to get some space. Turns out, she was on some floating station or house. 

Not that she cared. She needed space and time. 

So she flew and flew, not knowing where she was and not caring. 

She ended up on some beach on an island. Nice and remote. She didn’t notice the head of Saiyan black hair behind a boulder, 18’s thoughts too distracting. 

=#=#=#=#=

Sarada knew how complicated it made things when she first found out Piccolo, a person Vegeta viewed as an enemy, was her soulmate. So she knew a bit about what was going through Android 18’s head, but she also knew to give the poor woman space and time to figure out what to do and where to go. So she sat behind a boulder, peeking out occasionally to check 18’s progress. 

After about an hour, Sarada deemed 18 ready for someone to help her. 

She simply walked over and sat down. 18 started, standing. Sarada remained seated. “I see a bit of myself in you, you know.” She muses. 18 blinks. 

“What?” She asks. 

“You’re thrust into a very strange place and an even stranger situation. I know a bit of what that’s like.” 18, after a few minutes of silence, slowly sits back down. 

“This is happening too fast.” She murmurs. “How was I expected to react?” 

“About the way you did. I took it out on Vegeta in sparring. He thought I was just finally applying myself since I hadn’t told him who my soulmate was. It was hard, but I worked up the courage to talk to him.” 

“Why would you need to work up courage to talk to your brother?” 

“He’s...intense and deadset in his worldview. Strength is the key to everything in his mind, and Saiyans are the best there are. No question. Weakness was exterminated. I was scared he’d take my soulmate situation as weakness.” Sarada explains. 18 nods. 

“I see.” 

The two women eventually agreed to make their way back to the Lookout where Sarada had asked Krillan to stay. Piccolo had returned to their house where he waited for his wife. 

Krillan slowly approached, hands up. “Honest, I was going to get to know you first before we brought up the soulmate thing.” He murmurs, chuckling nervously. 18 finds it sweet that he was taking initiative and apologizing. 

“I was overwhelmed by everything, but I still stand by what I said. I’m not going to marry you right away cus we’re soulmates.” 

“You think I am?” Krillan asks timidly, scratching the back of his head. “No way! I wanna get to know you before anything else.” Android 18 found she was beginning to like him. 

Maybe this soulmate thing wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

[him-e]

Hi, I’m not sure if you’ve talked about this already, but since I really enjoy your thoughts on ASoIaF (and got), I‘d love to read your analysis of Jaime’s ending in the show and whether you think his arc is going to end the same way in the books as well.

Can’t make an in depth analysis because I lack the mental energy / motivation for that, but yes, I believe that’s where his arc is going in the books too. He’ll have a role in the WftD, be one of the many heroes who will defend humanity against the Others, have a shot at happiness with Brienne, but ultimately he’ll feel compelled to go back to Cersei when shit goes down in King’s Landing because it’s ~his sister, his responsibility and he can’t shrug it off.

The main difference I think will be be that Jaime ~kills~ Cersei in a similar fashion to how Jon killed Dany in the show, perhaps in a hail mary to save the city again (consciously or not replicating the scenario that turned him into the Kingslayer when he was seventeen, only now there’s his sister in Aerys’ place, and a dragon queen in Tywin’s, threatening to unleash her fury on everyone if the city gates won’t open), or maybe to spare Cersei a much more horrifying death by dragonfire or worse, if she manages to piss Dany off the way she did in the show. Either way, there’s plenty of foreshadowing in the books that Jaime will be Cersei’s valonqar but the whole thing won’t play as Cersei imagines, not even remotely. I used to believe Jaime being the valonqar and Jaime playing a role in the war for the dawn couldn’t be both simultaneously true, but that was based on the assumption that the war for the dawn *needs* to be chronologically the final part of the story, which I no longer believe.

I’m also fairly certain that D&D took the valonqar part of the J/C arc and repurposed it for Jon/Dany, for reasons I can’t fully comprehend right now. Part of it is probably the fact that they have a soft spot for J/C---see how they consistently shied away from the most toxic aspects of their relationship---so they probably wanted to end this dynamic on a sweet/tragic note rather than a disturbing, alienating one. Perhaps BOTH Jaime and Jon are going to kill their respective lovers in the books (it wouldn’t be the first time their arcs parallel each other, you know), which would be fifty shades of yikesy, but I wouldn’t put it past GRRM, especially considering how guilt over Ygritte’s death is a recurring theme in Jon’s narrative and how Dany being backstabbed by someone who swore to be on her side to thwart her *dangerous* political vision echoes eerily the Ides of Marsh. Or, perhaps Dany dies in some other way that D&D couldn’t or wouldn’t adapt verbatim for whatever reason, so they chose to go for the (relatively) “simple” option of having her stabbed by Jon; or, GRRM didn’t give enough details about her death so they had to fill the blanks by rearranging book material conveniently.

...well, it turned out to be some kind of analysis anyway, didn’t it? being concise is not my strong suit, lol.

[shipwrecknights]

SANDIPURWARA 2K19

Ok this is gonna be the longest post ever but i HAVE to write this so bear with me

My annual school theatre production just ended yesterday and the post production blues are at an all-time high. I am terrible at farewells; I’m not a very sentimental guy, not very expressive and I can’t articulate affection well without preparation first. This isn’t my first production, in fact it’s my fourth. I have literally been through this every year for four years in a row and every time it hits hard but this year the feeling is nearly overwhelming. My family and friends always ask my why i keep going back, seeing that the trainings take so much out of me every year. But the fact is, they will never understand. The love that i receive in return from this production....my god. These people are really my family. Never have i met a group of people so easy to talk to, to confide in, who complains so much about having to train and yet come back every day and give it their 80% (lol). I am SO thankful that they are in my life. I’ve watched this project grow over the years and these people have also watched me grow; from an actor in Ziarah and Cinta Mawar, to a scriptwriter in Kalbu and finally a stage manager in Sandipurwara. In 2015 i was a boy with literally no friends in uni, no interest at all in Malay theatre and now I have a 50+ pax strong family gained over the years. In no particular order, these are just some of the people that made Sandipurwara so special for me: To the PDs: Thank you for pulling me into this show. I was adamant about joining intro this year because i felt that i had to move on in life, and that 3 years was a nice number to leave at. When Halijah texted me (nearly begging) to take up the role as ASM, I just thought what the heck. She is my friend and I should help. Halijah and i met in 2016 during Ziarah. We were both cast members and we weren’t close close, but close enough to joke around every day. I always thought she was hilarious. And a very talented actor. She’s the kind of person that makes everyone in the room laugh with her crazy antics, even when the mood is tense, which was almost always the case. I always say to her “Tu lah siapa suruh jadi PD,” not to mock her capability, but just as a running joke because we were always one of the lazy ones who just wanted to go for smoke breaks during training. And yet there she was this year leading the whole ass project. She has balls. The shit that she went through this year. I feel so sorry for always being honest with you, about your leadership style, about the first script that we all turned down, for always replying to you in a stern, I’m-pissed-off manner. You don’t deserve all that. But I’m honest because I always knew you could be better. Four years is a long time!!! You are essentially like my baby sister now. I hope we can hang out more often, go to gigs together maybe. Anyways you fucking did it jah. I couldn’t be more proud of you, couldn’t be more proud to have worked under you. Some people were skeptical when you wanted to be PD but you definitely proved them wrong. I will never forget you and Zu during Ziarah, acting in the training room at block A level 5, getting scolded by Abang Mok, and crying, and STILL continuing the comedy scene. All with tears rolling down your face. Fuck. You were trying so hard and that made me wanna cry too. Congrats Jah. I love you so much and thank you for everything. (anyways emo night pe) As for Naj, we also met in 2016. She acted as the mother of my best friend in the show, and she really suited the role LOL kidding. But Naj is a good actor and dancer, AND a brilliant admin person, something that I can never do ever. What i like about her the most is that she is quiet, takes all the shit she receives and just get the work done without much noise. Basically the opposite of us all. This year she took up the role of APD, and did it while still being herself. I’ve always respected her, seeing her take up so many important roles the past few years. Someone once said to me, Naj is like one of the most senior person here, starting all the way from Iman, but never once did she mention that or use it as a way to assert her seniority. Thank you Naj. The world needs more humble + hardworking people like you <3 And then there’s Shakir. Fucking hell, where do i start. I wasn’t too fond of you when I first met you. Your face and mouth sometimes really mintak kene rembat. But one day it really hit me (and it upset me quite a bit): YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME. Hahahaha fuck we were both cursed with the dying need to speak our minds and filter absolutely nothing. I guess from that day on I just learnt to tolerate your shit because I understand you. You’re probably the most articulate guy in all the intros (but not in malay obviously). Even though your rhyming poems are corny as hell, I respect that you always speak to us in such a concise and inclusive manner, always try to get your opinion across as tactfully as possible, always thinking of how others would feel, even when you’re an insensitive fuck deep down. You always try to mingle with all the departments, which makes it look like you’re friendly, but we all know you just don’t want to feel FOMO. You are the APD that no one wanted but we all NEED. I’m glad we got a bit closer this year because I feel that being so alike, we can learn a lot from each other. Its a shame we didn’t get to see the Jacket Pelacur ™ this year, but we all know you’re busy making moves silently and to that I wish you all the best. I will never forget out stressful trip finding paint and kain, the girls searching for our felt pads while we stand around doing nothing at Spotlight, and you asking me about haram keropok at Daiso wihle I’m almost crying about the damn skirting. Also, good luck with your stint as the MCMS president. You are the first malay-muslim club president that constantly sleeps in girl’s laps, says the f-word, says Bismillah at the end of a speech instead of the beginning, and changes pants at the storage area without the conscience of even closing the door. You do you bro. I will pray that you see the light and be a better person, but thank you for constantly checking up on me and always being a brother. Love you bro #idkmanidk

To my SM Irfan: Bro. Brooooooo. You are one helluva guy. Sometimes I felt that you were overemotional about many things, something that an insensitive guy like me could never understand. But the more you opened up to me, the more I learnt to understand that you just have a very big heart. You get stressed very easily by very small things people say. But that always pushed you to work harder. I always look at you working so hard to plan our PT/crew sessions, and yet some nights you text me shit like im sorry, i feel like im not doing enough as an SM. BRUH. Kau stop it. But that really sums up what kinda person you are. Truly a humble guy that just wants to go around spreading joy to people with his lame-ass puns. I couldn’t have had a better partner. It was tough doing SM things with no third ASM, and come to think of it we been through so many obstacles that only you and I know about. Constantly texting each other about the shit we have yet to do and don’t know how to do, skyping till 3am at night when there’s training at 10am the next morning. It was a great learning process working alongside you. When we hugged just before the last show, you immediately started to cry and that made me tear up, so I pulled away and got the fuck away from you because I didn’t wanna cry as hard. We are two very ugly criers. I am truly sorry if i have ever wronged you, went away to smoke while you’re busy doing stage work, raised my voice at you, and especially sorry that I made you plan all the PT sessions by yourself. I’m sorry if i ever made your life more stressful. Thank you for showering the crew babies with so much love and attention on my behalf. I think your leadership was more than sufficient and that without you, this show couldn’t have been what it was. Love you Erphie baby To Fitri: FITTTTT. I think you were the one who pulled me into auditioning for the first production in 2016. I rmb just randomly coming to the audition and you were being over-appreciative, thanking me for coming haha. You’ve been there for me right from the start. Always supporting me in everything I do, no matter how shitty my acting was, and no matter how bad I was at script writing. You really are the mother of Introspeksi. But you are also like my sister, my teacher, my maid, my best friend, and my girlfriend (rarely). Truly the MVP of Introspeksi, you always selflessly help the PDs and casts every single year, shower us with love and push us to grow. I love that you always tell us to renew our niat whenever we come for training in order to help us get through the exhaustion, the scoldings, and everything negative. I feel sad whenever you get scolded by Abang Mok because I know you’re just trying your hardest to prolong the legacy of this special project. Even though you’re not the pioneer PD of Intro, I feel that you’re the one that started this big family because thanks to you we’re all involved in this crazy business. There’s really nothing I can do to repay you so I’ll just say thank you, for making my life in uni much much better. Continue being the strong, independent and ambitious woman that you are and I’m very sure you’ll be very successful one day. Love you Fit you’re my idol <3

To Zahir: My man. Another person that I’ve been through so much with. I miss our days with izzah and the bebs, sitting at the skatepark and under void decks till 3am, literally laughing till we cry. Those days I will never forget. Acting alongside you in Cinta Mawar, playing two really redundant roles, was also a fun experience although you were upset that your scenes were cancelled on show day hahaha. I knew you always wanted to act some more ever since that show. And then there’s Kalbu, writing the script with you was one hell of an experience, kita kene kecam every training by everyone, script lambat script lambat, script lambat macam cb. (f u shakir) No one knew how hard it was to write such a serious script under close scrutiny of two PDs, numerous advisors, and ofc Abang Mok. And yet I think we managed to have some, if not most, of our ideas remain in the final cut of the script and I’m still very proud of that. I’m sorry for all the times I scolded you, saying you weren’t putting in enough effort, etc. This year you finally got casted as a main and bro I’m so fucking proud of you. Wasn’t confident with your acting at first but during the show, as i watch you and Hidhir from the side curtain, i thought to myself, damn these guys r really trying so hard and it’s really paying off. Your role was really made for you and I’m so happy that your goofing off on stage actually made the show 10x more entertaining. Dalam diam, you’ve contributed so much to the club, and introspeksi, and you did it all while always making everyone laugh. You’re really a one-of-a-kind friend and we all love you. Didn’t really get to show my appreciation to you after Kalbu (idk why we all never post anything) but bro thank you for everything, thanks for the hard work, thanks for all the laughs, for the lepak/jam sessions, the (two) fitspo sessions, for the subtle looks/touches whenever a cute girl is nearby. No matter how rarely we meet I’ll always treasure this friendship man I love you (I ain’t never gonna stop loving you....biiitch) To Jannah: I know I didn’t spend as much time with you this year as I did in the last, but you know I love you janz. Everyone keeps pulling out the “mana nak lepak dgn kita lagi” shit on me, but you were always impartial and the most cool about it. I hope you know that I cherish our time together from Cinta Mawar and Kalbu, no matter how much we drift apart. Anyways congratulations for another brilliant year in acting. From the start, I knew you were our only hope for the cast. You have always been disciplined, practicing at home, staying in character, doing research, coming on time every training, etc. Your dedication to Intro always impresses me. You, Durr, Win, Zahir and me went through so much crazy shit man in Kalbu. I will never forget. All the passive aggressive texts, trying to get me and Zahir to buck tf up, us not meeting all the script deadlines, sharing personal stories with each other, writing the script at Woodlands AND the masjid till 5am, and all the laughter. So much laughter was shared. It feels like there was no proper closure for Kalbu, cos the four of us never really showed our appreciation to each other/say our farewell properly. No idea why. But well here it is now. Thank you Jannah for everything. You were the first person to make me cry backstage before the final Sandi show. Kau just masalah, aku tengok muka kau je nak nangis. AND even when the final show started, when I saw you singing so enthusiastically (and badlly) at the handheld mic on stage left, swaying left to right even when no one was watching, man that made me tear up too. Never stop being you, the kind-hearted, sisterly figure that everyone feels comfortable being with. Lepak soon, love you baby girl <3 To Durr-baby/daddy: What a guy you are. Even though you’re younger, I’ve always looked up to you from the start. Wise beyond your years, you’ve always been that calming voice for when I’m stressed out with Intro. You always help us out so selflessly, sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable/guilty thinking about it. But its ok because you always show how sincere you are when lending a hand. This year, you’re just an advisor, who doesn’t need to come that often. But yet you attend every training, stood alongside Irfan and I, almost playing the role as the third SM. I appreciate every time you take charge and give out instructions to the crew when you notice that I’m stressed out/can’t lead very well. And you do all this without overstepping any boundaries, always respectful to the two of us. And to think you were and APD and VP of the club last year. If all future exco members follow in your footsteps, i’m sure MCMS will breed an amazing group of individuals. Tapi kau pun satu masalah. I clearly said don’t go behind and see Jannah, you will cry. Kau pergi jugak. Kau just nak semua orang nangis dengan kau hahahahahahahaha its ok bro i understand crying hURTS SO GOOD. Thank you Durr for the countless nights of sending everyone home even when you’re exhausted. Thank you for always keeping me and Irfan grounded in chaotic times. Thank you for the kekek times at stage left, staring at the transitions with me and shakir like its visual ganja, muttering those two comforting words into my ear, “double pivot”, and for always reminding me and everyone that letting out our feelings is fucking important to survive. Love you durrbaby stay sweg A special shoutout to the new friends I made this year, Hidhir and Junie. Ya’ll are just gerek. Thank you for joining our intro family even when you really didn’t need to, and for giving your all for every scene. Firstly I have to say y’all (+ Zahir and Hazeeq) made our saturday mornings a living hell. Wake up late, sick, heavy traffic, phone died, and all the cock reasons ya’ll gave. It got to the point that Junie gave me her house number to call her mum to wake her??? Just hal. Sampai show day dia lambat, faham eh. But anyways. I’m so glad you two decided to join this year. Thank you for being so easy to talk to, as a sister and brother, thanks to Hidhir for welcoming us into his home that one fateful night, for always spreading love and hugs and being emotional as fuck during debriefs. Thank you Junie for being so open with us, always sharing your stories, even tho we never ask. Thanks for pushing yourself even with all the heavy criticism from the directors. If you need your mic box to be checked again, just hmu. To Hazeeq, you alr helped us last year in Kalbu, but this year returned again as another main cast. The best part about Hazeeq is that he is friends with e v e r y o n e and always goes around the room to have conversations with every single person. Proper friendly guy, I’m gonna miss your hugs and kisses every night and your “Sorry I’m sorry....she correct.....I wrong.” Stay gold my brotha, a guy like you is not easy to find so pls make sure you never change.

Last but definitely not the least, my CREW BABIES. Y’all are surely an odd bunch, all randomly coming to help our production. But ya’ll are the best crew I’ve ever seen in my 4 years here!!! Never complaining, even when you come to training and do absolutely nothing. Always understanding towards me and Irfan, listening to what we say, and helping out when we don’t know what to say. Working so hard on the sets and props, ya’ll are always on autopilot and didn’t need us to guide you all the time. Thank you Alfiera (you basic bimbo bish), Aliah, D.Hadi, Hadi Shy, Haziq (ma man), Sheeda, Syazwani (non-tudung), Syaza Aliah (my twine girl u saved my life every show ily) and Zana (my only stage left buddy). I love you all I swear. Special shoutout to DIBO DEE, Dibo baby thank you so much for all your help. You’re so crafty and creative and calm and cool when you do work. I love how your voice changes when its time for serious work and how you go around spreading love and giving sweets to everyone. Can never forget the moaning sounds that erupted from your phone during our dry run hahaha U STAY COOL DIBO ILY. And!!! Special special shoutout to my 3 fav crew girls: Rania, Wani and Sofiyah!!! Idk if ya’ll are my adiks or girlfriends but rest assured I love being around you guys and i’m glad we got close thru this show. You’re all too damn young but trust me if i could I’d marry all of you HAHA. To Rania, thanks for being a walking meme factory, I still can’t believe i’m friends with a 19 year old ffs. But hey you have great taste in music just like me. We can have a date lying down on the beach while listening to the XX and Arcade Fire one day ok. Thanks for shaving your legs for me, calling me every day to pray subuh (I don’t deserve you) and for being so candid about yourself to me. I’ll text you if i’m 30 and single ok pls be my backup plan. God bless you baby girl i love you. To Wani, sorry for saying that you’re too emotional when ya’ll were upset after getting shit for wardrobe things. But you’re so cute when you’re mad?? Hahaha and sorry for saying that you’re conservative (tho there’s nothing wrong with that) just because you’re a madrasah girl. Actually you’re pretty open about everything. Thanks for being a kind hearted person, always looking out for me, and putting up with the nonsense that me and Shakir talk about. Love you Wani if you miss me just hmu and I’ll be there. To Sofiyah, uuuu fuckin’ weirdo. I love how casual you are about everything and how I don’t have to think of what I say around you. Also, I admire how you always kept your shit together even when people were shitting on you about wardrobe things. Thank you for picking up the role despite having no experience in past Introspeksis. You did great man. Continue to participate in the coming years and I hope you get a guy as meaty as Hidhir or has a nice body like mine (#2 best body). Please curb your thirst for skinship and kembali ke jalan yang benar. Hahahahahaha love u Soffy baby see u soon xx And to everyone else, those unmentioned, please know that I love you guys too. Nana, Shaik, Yus and Aishah y’all are my seniors who i look up to whenever we’re doing a show and your knowledge and advice are always valuable to us. I always see you guys as who we’re supposed to grow into in the field of arts, even tho korang berbual merepek 75% of the time. Nana your play-flirting makes me turn off my comms headset but you’re an amazing amazing actor, SM, PD, and now lights technician. My respect for you has always been 10/10. This year you never shout at me, very good. Aishah, your acting has always been crazy good and this year you reminded us again. Thanks for being the big sister figure to all of us babies, while at the same time spewing inappropriate sexual nonsense 24/7. You da besttt. Shaik and Yus, thanks for being the big bros that i never had, always so cool and quiet but so talented with the music. And of course the musicians, who practice so hard every day, hitting the rebana till your hands bruise, coming early everyday to go through every riff/melody/tune and taking all the new ideas from Abang Mok and giving it life. Y’all are so amazing and you continue to be the best part of our shows every time. The dancers, I watched you guys train from the start!!!! Honestly it was very scrappy at first, and you guys went through so much drama and changes and getting shouted at, and of course injuries. All the bandages and patches and ankle guards were worth it cos you guys were amazing on show night, I know because I watched from the side curtain every time. Love the fight song number so much <3 For the rest of the cast, those with supporting roles, ya’ll were equally amazing and some of you even with one scene got an ovation from the crowd. Thank you for the hard work day in day out despite not landing a major role; your patience and understanding made the show what it was; a gathering of unique characters from different walks of life all for a single purpose.

Finally, I’m really sorry if i have wronged anyone in any way, which i prolly have. I love all my friends and never have any intention to hurt them. This shit that we did together was SO special and people will never understand the bond that’s been forged here so I hope these friendships lasts for as long as they possibly can. What Yus said was spot on: there is no “final year” or “last show” because Introspeksi is a family and you can never run away from that :’) Ok PEACE OUT ILY’ALL

[hotarutranslations]

Attack No.1!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi

 Engeki Joshibu “Attack No.1”

 The play Angerme is starring in

 It’s going until December 9th at,

Zenrousai Hall/Space Zero

 Um, since it’s a play featuring Urano Chikako-sensei’s “Attack No.1”, so you’d probably be familiar with the contents right!?

 Today, everyone went and saw it!

 It was fun~

I ended up crying~

There were a lot of scenes were the tears came bit-by-bit, for me in particular, someone who was working hard on something was weak,

 Do your best…!

 Is what I thought while crying

 You really feel like we were cheering as one, with the fun scenes; I laughed and cried at the play

 And also, everyone was cute!!!

  Individually,

 I’m happy about that song!

That line was impressive to me!

It was funny there!

 There were a lot of things like that but,

 I’ll convey it to an extent for sure

 Wada Ayaka-san was, cute like she was a character who had popped out of an anime! Since I have strong memories from when we did a play together, I was drawn to her with her apathetic form again.

 Kamikokuryo Moe-chan was, ah, how Kamiko was speaking like that, it was her character but, she was really moe, were my personal thoughts ❤ lol

 Also I realized those two’s voices sound good in unison…

 With Katsuta Rina-san’s singing voice, it felt like her voice was unique on stage, it was lovely! I wonder if Katsuta-san is broad-minded like that! ←

 With Murota Mizuki-chan, I liked her first words…ah, before she spoke I thought I’d like her character, it was just as I thought when she spoke! Lol

 Also, crying

 With Sasaki Rikako-chan the 2 of them,

 It was good,

Their crying,

 I have a lasting impression of Rikako singing in particular! her voice and expressions, I want to listen to it again! Also, her movement was cool and strong with the volleyball

  With Kasahara Momona-chan, her role suited her naturally, cute-like, I also like Kassa’s singing ❤

 It’s a digression, but with this role,

I think I’d want to see Fukumura Mizuki-san doing it (lol)

 There were scenes where you could feel Nakanishi Kana-chan’s gap, you could also see a glimpse of her normal kindness, I came to support the charming role and Kananan

 With Takeuchi Akari-san, she came, she came, she came, I was waiting!!! Is what it felt like when seeing her! Lol

 I was surprising by Kawamura Ayano-chan’s voice,

 It was like I was going to cry again with Funaki Musubu-chan’s earnestness,

 Also to wrap it up again,

Takeuchi-san’s severity & kindness were good,

 With this kind of team work relationship, it would overlap with Angerme as a group, perhaps there were various things you could feel!

 Excuse me, for being concise

 Since the play will continue until the 9th,

Can’t you feel Ayumin’s impression!

If you think that,

Definitely please go and see it~

 Today was a shoot and an interview

 Please wait for me to announce the details later

  A picture of akafuku red bean soup

  See you ayumin ❤

 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12423929732.html

[surveysonfleek]

432.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 15

1401. Do you like your movies and books to be more lighthearted or serious? depends on my mood. but usually light hearted. 1402. What's more important, first impressions or lasting impact? first impressions. i kinda lose interest if the first impression sucks. 1403. Order these areas of psychological health from what you need the least improvement in to what you need the most improvement in: physical, emotional, social, intellectual, environmental, spiritual spiritual, environmental, social, intellectual, emotional and physical. 1404. Do you react appropriately to things and control your feelings? i’d say so. 1405. Do you have stable relationships? yes.

1406. Do you need to be in a relationship to feel good about yourself? not at all. but it’s been so long that idk what i’d be like alone. 1407. Which is the most clear and concise, your thoughts, your speech or your writing? Which is the least clear and concise? most clear: thoughts. least: writing coz i never write. 1408. Are you always trying to learn new things? not all the time. 1409. Do you feel at peace? not yet. 1410. Do you have strong morals and ethics that you believe in and adhere to? yeah. 1411. Are you over or under weight? over. 1412. Do you think of the needs of all humanity or just the needs of yourself and those you know? tbh me and those i know. after i fix myself, i can start focusing on the needs of others. 1413. Do you recycle? yes. 1414. Are you active in your community? not at all. 1415. Are you sensitive to the needs of others? not really? 1416. Do you dress up to go to the mall? haha omg no. it used to be a huge thing back in high school, but i couldn’t care less these days. 1417. Have you ever been on anti depressants? nope. 1418. Name a part of your body. Give that part of your body a name. heart. heart lol. 1419. Is fourteen your lucky number? nope. 1420. What could make you lose respect for someone? having them do something unforgivable. 1421. Is ignorance really bliss? i don’t think so. it could lead to a rude awakening. 1422. What can be described as 'even better than the real thing'? not sure. 1423. Are you jealous that dog can lick their own genitals? If you could do that would you ever leave the house? no and yes. 1424. What's in your wallet right now? driver’s license, debit card, credit card, membership cards, receipts and coins. 1425. Do you write letters that you never send? nope. 1426. Do you ever get the feeling people are laughing at you? sometimes. 1427. Who's the one person you'd like to drop a house on? haha idk. 1428. Have you ever been swept off your feet? i guess. 1429. Tell me why you don't like Mondays: because i have work. 1430. In the Harry potter series the books seem to be getting darker and more serious with each new release. Do you like this change or do you prefer the story to be light? i thing the change suits the development of the story. i’d lose interest if the entire series was light hearted. 1431. How often do you update your diary? weekly. 1432. What do you mostly write about in your diary? my schedule. 1433. How many quizzes and/or surveys do you have in your diary as entries? oh, i didn’t know the question was regarding like a blog lol. 1433. How many forwards does your diary contain? - 1434. What is your writing style like? - 1435. How honest are you in your diary? - 1436. Why do you write in your diary? - 1437. Do you have a comet cursor on your diary description? - 1438. Do you ever chat online? only on fb messenger to people i know personally. 1439. Have you ever met someone from online? How'd that go? no. at most i’ve met mutual friends online but they still lived locally. 1440. What's your favorite horror: Movie? umm, i don’t have one. Book? goosebumps haha. 1441. Have you ever caught a mistake in a movie? yes, plenty of times. as a kid moviemistakes.com was my jam haha. 1442. Have you ever seen that munchkin who supposedly hangs himself in the Wizard of Oz? If yes, how/when should someone look for it? only in a buzzfeed post. 1443. If you had to give yourself a letter grade (A, A-, B, B-, C, C-, D, D-, F) for things how would you grade yourself on: Happiness: B- Being a decent human being: B Being serene (calm, peaceful): B- Kindness: B- Anger management: A- Creative thinking: C Modesty: A- Being an original: A- Knowing yourself: A- Being true to yourself: B Getting along with others: C Liking yourself: D Admitting your flaws: B Self improvement: D- 1444. Are you kinky? haha no. 1445. How would you feel if twice a week you could wake up next to the person you love? pretty good! 1446. Out of all the people you know who is most likely to be one of the great minds of our time? hmmm. not sure. 1447. Have you ever been to: Church? yes. Temple? yes. A bar? yes. A house party? yes. A rave? yes. A goth club? no. A punk show? no. A hip hop club? yes. What sounds like the most fun out of that list? a bar. 1448. So far, have you changed around any of the questions on this survey? haha no. what’s the point? 1449. Are you crying on the inside? no. 1450. Are you afraid of the future? kinda. 1451. What will you dress up as this year for Halloween (if you celebrate it)? nothing. 1452. Do you think of some people as not worthy of being your friend? yep. lol. 1453. If you won $1,000 every week until you die, would you still go to school? Would you still get a job? i’m done with school. and yeah i’d still work. 1454. What's the most difficult job you can think of? anything outdoors and strenuous on the body. i couldn’t imagine working outside in the heat during summer. 1455. If you could decorate your room with any theme you wanted what would you pick? i’d leave it the way it is. pretty simple. 1456. Of the following bands which would you be most likely to check out? roxy music (70's glam) the magnetic fields (current indie rock) kraftwerk (experimental electronic rock) <--- this one i guess. 1457. You and your boy/girlfriend have been together 6 months or longer.... One day s/he wants to go to a strip club with his/her friends to hang out. It's guys/girls night out and you aren't invited. Would you be upset by this? tbh if he told me in advance and was completely honest about it i don’t think i’d get upset. but to be fair, my boyfriend has never been to a strip club so idk what i’d feel. 1458. Can a person avoid dying if he or she does not believe in death? um i don’t think so. 1459. If someone sings songs that they don't write and they don't play any instruments or mix the songs or have any creative input at all..Are they a musician? i used to think about this a lot and yeah i guess they’re still a musician. 1460. What do the following stand for: html? something link lol idk. faq? frequently asked questions. fao? no idea. imho? in my humble opinion. hiv? something virus? aids? idk. r&b? rhythm and blues. 1461. What does the world owe you? happiness. then again, i’m in control of that. 1462. Do you read plays and books or just get the cliff notes? when i was in school i did both. 1463. What do you want to get out of life? happiness pretty much. and a family. 1464. Do you know what is really important to you? yes. 1465. What trend has been getting on your nerves lately? idk. 1466. Do you forgive yourself when you make a mistake? yeah, i just consider it as a lesson. 1467. What tiny little very small thing has made you hugely happy? days off work. 1468. Can you read body language well? i think so. 1469. Do you look people in the eye when you talk? yes. 1470. Do you notice if they aren't looking you in the eye? yes. 1471. Are you alert to opportunities? sometimes. 1472. Puppet Yoda or digital Yoda? neither. 1473. Do you look like the person you want to be? no. 1474. Do you behave like the person you want to be? yeah i guess. 1475. Some children were asked 'how would you make your marriage work?' One child, Ricky, age ten, said: 'Tell your wife she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.' Is this good advice? no lol. i’d rather my partner be honest with me. 1476. Do you visualize your goals and dreams? yes. 1477. 4x + 3 = 15  What is the value of x? literally haven’t done algebra in years. is it 3? 1478. Do you keep yourself organized? yes. 1479. Does anyone really win an argument? haha only in their minds. 1480. Have you ever had champagne? yes. 1481. Do you strive for perfection? no. i just thrive to be successful. 1482. Name one thing you understand. myself. 1483. Whatever it is are you afraid of it? yes. 1484. Do you dislike being told what to do? yesssss. 1485. If you had a cat would you have it declawed? i’d never get a cat. 1486. Do you prefer lobster, clams, or crab meat? tbh i like them all. 1487. What do you think about guys who don't wear underwear? omg i don’t know any guys who don’t lmao. 1488. What do you think about girls who don't wear bras? it’s fine. 1489. Do you ask for what you want? sometimes. 1490. What are you against? bigots. 1491. How many notes does your diary have? - 1492. Ace of Base or Enya? neither. 1493. What makes you feel awkward? socially awkward situations. 1494. Have you ever been to teenopendiary.com, and if yes, how does it compare to opendiary.com? lol this must be soooooo old. 1495. If you were going to switch to another diary website, which one would you go to? - 1496. Do you believe that certain books should be removed from high school libraries? depends on the contents. 1497. How do you feel about gay and lesbian marriages? i’m all for it. 1498. Can you rearrange the letters in your name to form any other words(check here if you aren't sure http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/)? haha no. 1499. What is the sexiest moment in a movie? idk. 1500. Do you have a favorite stand up comedian? i don’t have a fave.

[amusetoamuse]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Season 4 : Episode 17 - Identity and Change Recap

I’m all about experimenting here so today I will try out a new way (for me) of recapping! :)

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D is one of my favourite shows at the present moment. It has really developed so much over the course of the seasons. The plot has improved so much and I absolutely love it now!! Especially what they have done with Season 4 where they split the season into 3 pods (aka story arcs) and I love how it makes for better story telling since the storylines can be more concise and jam packed now instead of dragged and spread across the seasons. I’m normally not one for suspense so shorter arcs are good because we can get the answers to questions much quicker. 

I am also a huge skyeward (chloe bennet and brett dalton) fan and find it such a pity that their relationship was not developed more in the earlier seasons because the actors have such amazing chemistry. Fingers crossed for this arc (the Framework/ Agents of Hydra) to have some skyeward scenes please. 

Speaking of the Framework, I love how it has the potential to tell stories that could have been told previously but did not have the chance to be told. It’s like a whole world of “What If”s, sort of like a dream world. The Framework, (created by Radcliffe) corrects one regret that the person has through a brain scan assessment. What if Coulson did not join S.H.I.E.L.D? What if May did not kill the girl in Bahrain? What if Fitz never met Simmons? All of these “What If”s will be explored in this pod (as the actors and writers like to call it). Whooop I’m so excited so let’s start watching! :)

In the last episode, we end off with Coulson finally remembering who Daisy is and episode 17: Identity and Change continues from that scene. Daisy and Coulson are in the classroom as Daisy catches Coulson up to speed on their identities (hoho). Coulson’s memories seem a little fuzzy since he claims that Hydra has been using mind-control soap to mess with his memories but tells Daisy not to worry since he makes his own soap now. (HAHAH COULSON YOU ARE THE BEST) 

Sign me up to buy Coulson’s soap please. HAHAH. Daisy tells him that he’s probably talking about Project Tahiti instead. Daisy’s phone rings. (Who could it be?) Ward please. 

OMG IT IS WARD!!! *internal screaming* (Okay actually I kind of knew since I saw the promos/sneak peeks) but still! It’s so good to see Brett Dalton back on the show. He tells Daisy that Hydra is sending down some personnel to the school and Daisy tells Coulson “ You’re going to need a substitute”. 

OMG YESS I’m actually kind of loving the new logo, Hail Hydra. HAHA ok but yes my allegiance is to S.H.I.E.L.D but this logo still looks cool and how they placed the Hydra logo everywhere during this arc, Daisy’s identity and in the scenes. The beauty is truly in the subtle details. 

Mack has a daughter and they make the perfect pair. They’re building drones in the kitchen and his daughter finishes her drone faster. Mack checks out her drone and flips it over to find... the hydra logo. oh no. He warns her to stay far away from Hydra so that they can stay out of trouble and she promises to do so. (Aww Mack and his daughter are seriously the cutest, he’s going to have a hard time dealing with this when they get out of The Framework). 

They head to the bus stop and the people line up in a straight line and wait for the Nazis (oh wait, I mean Hydra) to show up for the usual ID check (to make sure you’re not an Inhuman / working with S.H.I.E.L.D/ the resistance). Mack tells his daughter to keep her head down and do as they say. She nods agreeably. But alas, she left the hydra drone they were working on in her bag while they were at the line up. Mack grabs the bag from her and says that he will handle this. A guy starts running away. “We got a runner” , the Hydra agent says. They quickly subdue him and it turns out that he’s on the list of Potential Inhumans. Oh no. The Hydra cars drive off. Mack and his daughter Sparkplug are safe and live to see another day of this Hydra Nazi-ness. (Reminds me of the kid from the previous episode who called Hydra the Nazis) hahaha. But what they’re doing really gives off those vibes. 

Daisy and Coulson head back to her appartment and she tells Simmons that she thinks that they can trust Ward again, (he’s a double agent in The Framework, but this time for good) Also, he’s helped them a record breaking number of 2 times now. Simmons and Coulson head to the rendezvous point that Ward gave for the Resistance while Daisy heads to the Triskelion to get Radcliffe’s location. 

In Madame Hydra’s office, she is talking to a Hydra agent when Fitz enters and she quickly dismisses the agent. Fitz asks her what’s going on and why she won’t let him help out with the subversive (aka Simmons) but she’s insistent on not letting him help for obvious reasons. (#FitzSimmons) . Also Madame Hydra’s real name is Ophelia? Hmmm okay. But anyway, it is so difficult to watch Fitz IN LOVE with Madame Hydra. Noooo Fitz, how could you do this to #FitzSimmons??  She hesitates but finally shows Fitz the photo of Simmons. He’s totally unaffected and says that he will send his team after Simmons immediately. “You’d do anything for me , wouldn’t you?” “I’d cross the universe for you.” OH GOD.NO.JUST NO. Major cringe plus omg how can Fitz be saying such things. They kiss. (Ugh no. Please end this scene immediately).

Thank God. Daisy is back in the office looking up Radcliffe’s info. Ward spots her and says that being here is too dangerous for her and that she should leave immediately. She says that she could that much faster if he wasn’t “mouth-breathing” on her. HAHA. omg they’re just the cutest. She gets the info she needs and they leave together when May stops them and says that Skye needs to come with them. 

Omg. my skyeward feels. They’re finally back together. (Side note: the hydra statue behind is looking pretty good). 

Ward gets all protective of Daisy (Skye, her old name,  in The Framework) and says that he’ll fend off May while she fights the others. She leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek. (Omg the first skyeward kiss in forever, although it’s just on the cheek, but still, omg yesss finally) but no it’s just to pass him the information she got to pass to Simmons. “Skye” . He’s reluctant to leave but she insists and says that she will be okay. He looks worriedly at her as she ascends the stairs to meet with May. (This scene was everything, omg, squealing inside, I’m just so happy to see Skyeward back in action).

Coulson and Simmons are at the rendezvous point for the Resistance. 

“For the season, it’s been unusually rainy.”  - Resistance contact

“Rain or shine, the man with the umbrella is always ready.” - Coulson

LOL. I’ve seen a couple of secret password exchanges but this has got the be the best/ funniest one I’ve ever seen. HAHA. 

The guy takes out hand cuffs and Coulson’s all like “Did I say it wrong?” He cuffs them and puts a black bag over their heads and they’re driven off in a black van. Oh no. Are Coulson and Simmons in trouble? Okay probably not, the Resistance is probably trying to hide their location. 

Mace enters in his patriot suit to meet Coulson and Simmons. (Omg another major YES?? Mace as the Patriot, omg wow I have been waiting for this day) “I’m Jeffrey Mace, welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D” OMG YESSSS. He apologies for the hoods and says that trust is a luxury these days. (Yes Hydra, we’re looking at you). 

Jemma and Coulson introduce themselves and Coulson has a major fanboy moment. “Wow. I can’t believe it’s really you. The Patriot. The Inhuman leader of the Resistance. He’s kind of a big deal!” He tells Simmons. (Yes Coulson, this is totally what we were all thinking!!!) Mace is all nonchalant about it and says that he can just call him Jeffrey because the Patriot’s a bit much for his taste. Coulson continues admiring Mace and his suit. (I mean, Jeffrey Mace, as the Patriot?? I would be doing that too) Finally getting to see Mace as an Inhuman is definitely a refreshing change in the Framework. (Compared to the real world where he’s human and has to take injections to be strong). 

They’re at S.H.I.E.L.D HQ, albeit a little run down, Simmons asks Mace what happened here and Mace tells them that a brave agent name Billy Koenig gave up his life to get him the location. (Sounds familiar aye? haha) Mace says that the early days were tough and a lot of good agents died to get this place up and running and we see a wall of the names of agents. 

Simmons walk by the S.H.I.E.L.D lab only this time it’s actually a hiding zone for the Potentials (people who have the Inhuman gene or have a relative who did). The place gives some semblance to them living as refugees until The Resistance can find a safe place to relocate them to.

Skye follows May down the hallway who tells her that Madame Hydra requested for Skye for the meeting and they enter the room where Fitz is giving a briefing to take down Simmons the subversive who’s apparently planning to take down Madame Hydra. “We will defeat these terrorists and make society great again”. (Lol I see what you did there Fitz, pretty subtle but I see you). Anyway, how can Fitz be planning to take down the love of his life, Simmons. Noooo and they somehow decided that Skye should be a part of this? Nooo. Also, “Hail Hydra” the agents chime in after Fitz gives his briefing. (Why doesn’t S.H.I.E.L.D have a catchy tag line too? )

Hope questions Mack about why the Inhuman guy from earlier was taken away if he didn’t do anything wrong. He tells her that she catches on quick but they should mind their own business for their own good and if they wanted to take her away he would take care of it. (aww Mack and Hope are too precious, his paternal instincts are kicking in, in the most adorable way)

Ward enters the Resistance hideout and tells Mace that Skye has been compromised. Mace reassures Ward and says that he has nothing to worry about since she’s pretty tough from what Ward told him. Simmons asks Ward if Skye managed to get Radcliffe’s location and he reaches for the paper Skye gave but says that Skye hasn’t been acting like herself since Simmons got here. Simmons is triggered but all for good measure since Ward was the double agent that betrayed them in the real world but he’s having trust issues with her now. Mace steps in to say that Simmons is only here because he trusts Ward and not her. Wow. (Mace is savage and what a turn of events though).

Skye’s coordinates lead to Ogygia, east of Bermuda. Simmons says that they have to get to Radcliffe ASAP but Mace says that they don’t have the manpower to do so. Coulson asks Mace to send them instead and he politely says that this is a spy organisation and Coulson is a teacher. (gahahha the irony though). He eventually agrees after Ward says that he’ll go with them and supervise them. 

Skye, May and the team of Hydra agents head to none other than Mace’s house where the agents subdue him and pull his daughter away from him while Skye watches.

Coulson, Ward, Mace and Simmons enter the hangar where Mace tells them he envisions Quinjets to be flying from here in the future. Simmons smiles and looks at Coulson and says “Imagine”. (HAHAHA imagine indeed. Since it’s real in the real world. ) 

Coulson questions why Simmons didn’t tell Mace and Ward that this reality was fake but she said that it wasn’t a lie but simply an omission of the truth since Coulson is the only one who remembers how things should be. Ward leads them into the Quinjet.

Mack is in the interrogation room with May and he asks her why he and Hope are being treated this way when they didn’t do anything wrong, especially Hope since she’s just a kid. May says that that doesn’t mean that she’s innocent and Mack says that he will do anything if they won’t hurt Hope. 

Back on the Quinjet, Ward asks Simmons if Radcliffe is dangerous to which she responds with “Maybe not physically but sometimes the greatest threats are the ones right in front of you”. (Ooooo damn that burn though haha). Good Ward looks away with guilt and says “I’m Sorry.” (huh. wait what??!?!?!). “I should have never left Skye. “ Jemma and Us : “Oh”. (Lol Ward almost took me for a leap there when he apologised. I thought he was apologising about betraying them in the real world but I guess now is not the time for it, yet.) He gives Simmons a speech about how Skye means everything to him and that he would die for her to protect her. (oooo is this some foreshadowing?) Simmons is not having any of it and she tells Ward that she’ll give him a minute. (Or do you mean give yourself a minute, Simmons? HAHA)

Simmons heads over to talk to Coulson and reassures him that he’s not crazy to which he responds, “I live alone and make my own soap.”(lol Coulson, hahaha I seriously cannot deal with you and your handmade soap HAHAHA) Simmons gives Coulson a pep talk and tells him that he’s exactly where he’s meant to be.

Back at the Triskelion, (what a cool name btw), Fitz or rather Leopold as Madame Hydra calls him is looking at the computer to find the Simmons is dead and confronts her about it and demands that she tell him the truth. (that slam on the table was kind of funny though, coming from Fitz) but anyway, she tells him that Simmons came from the other side aka the real world and is here to take them down and that everything she does is so that she and Fitz can be together. Still cringy but ok. I guess AIDA always had a soft spot for Fitz since he was the one that saved her in the real world and was the only one who showed sympathy towards her. All she ever wanted was to be human and have feelings and she was finally able to live that out in the Framework. Thus, she won’t let anyone destroy her perfect reality. She receives a text about a security breach and tells Fitz that they will finish this later. She leaves the room while Fitz looks distraught, almost as if he remembers Simmons. 

Skye is in another interrogation room with Hope and Hope is worried about her dad and says that all of this is not his fault at all and that she Hope he’s okay. (hurhur sorry I couldn’t resist). Skye enters Mack’s interrogation room and he tells her that she knows who she is and I’m just like omg yessss until we realize that May told Mack to say that. Damn it Mack! We were all rooting for you but he did agree that he would do anything to save his daughter. Skye is shook and she leaves the interrogation room where May and the other Hydra agents starts chasing her. 

Ward, Coulson and Simmons arrive at Ogygia to extract Radcliffe. Ward approaches a hobo looking Radcliffe playing cricket? and tells him to drop his weapon aka the cricket stick? lol hahaha ok. 

“Drop it” - Ward

“Hive? No. It can’t be.” - Radcliffe

“Hello again, you traitor” - Simmons

“Surprise” - Coulson

while Radcliffe looks around at Ward, Simmons and Coulson surrounding him in utter disbelief. He tells them that they’re all not meant to be here and realizes that Ward is not Hive. This scene makes it for me where Simmons and Coulson finally get to face Radcliffe and chide him for getting all of them into this mess. Simmons demands that Radcliffe help them rescue everyone and get them out of here. To which he replies, “I’m afraid there’s no getting out of here”. Dun dun dun. 

Back at the Triskelion where Skye is trying to escape, she enters a lift full of Hydra agents and manages to subdue them. She runs down the stairs but May has her surrounded. She drops her weapons as the agents kick her down while May watches with a smug look on her face. (Omg nooo may this isn’t supposed to happen).

At Ogygia, Radcliffe tells the others that he never intended for this to happen that the Framework was supposed to be a paradise where everyone lived happily after but it all went wrong. Ward has had enough of this and just wants to extract Radcliffe and go back to HQ but Radcliffe pleads with them to leave him alone when we see a female figure walking by. It’s Agnes as Simmons recognizes her. Radcliffe asks them to leave them out of this and Simmons asks Radcliffe for the way out. She tells him that their way out has been compromised and he realizes that Aida knows that they’re here. Soon after, a Quinjet arrives on the Island and Radcliffe asks them all to run and hide.

Wow. They’re seriously channeling some Darth Vader vibes here. Madame Hydra, Fitz and the legion of hydra agents arrive. They’re here to find the subversives aka Coulson and Simmons. She has a confrontation with Radcliffe. He tells her that this has gone way out of hand to which she responds that she has done what he’s asked of her. To take away their greatest regret and to protect the framework. What happened is not up to her. He responds that she has put herself into the Framework and has been manipulating it to get what she wants. To which she responds with “It’s okay to lie to save a life. You taught me that.”(Oh snappp, shots were fired) Radcliffe calls her Aida and says that her programming went wrong and she is triggered. She threatens Radcliffe not to call her that here. Fitz returns with a subversive, Agnes. Agnes asks Holden(Radcliffe) what is going on.

Mack hugs Hope in the hallway as they are reunited while a beaten up Skye passes by them.

 “Hydra thanks you for your service” -May

“Hail Hydra” - Mack 

Omg Mack how could you have done this to Skye?! Sigh.

Radcliffe tries to convince Fitz that he’s from the real world and that this is just an alternate reality that Aida created but Fitz doesn’t believe him and kills Agnes. Jemma screams “Noooooo” at Fitz tearfully as she couldn’t believe that he would kill Agnes in cold blood. Fitz looks at Jemma with a shocked face as the Hydra agents chase Simmons, Coulson and Ward. They run to the Quinjet in the nick of time and take off. 

Back at base, Mace is furious. Ward had a shot on the doctor aka Fitz and could have killed him to save Agnes’s life but he didn’t fire because Simmons told Ward that she’s in love with Fitz (the psychopath in Mace’s words, hahaha) They demand asnwers from Simmons as to why she’s been acting this way. Simmons bursts out and says that none of this is real and they’re all not real. 

The door opens and one of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents has found  Mack around their HQ. Mack tells them what happened to Skye and Ward asks if she’s okay. Mack tells them that for the first time, he couldn’t look his little girl in the eye because he felt guilty for what he did to Skye and tells them that he’s here to help.

Whew omg yesss the team is finally back together. Minus evil fitz of course. The scene ends and we hear Aida/ Madame Hydra ‘s voice saying the classic “we’ll return in a moment” with the Hydra symbol in the background. Wow they’re really committing to this with the Hydra symbols everywhere and Madame Hydra doing the voiceover instead of Coulson with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

Back at Hydra headquarters,Radcliffe is being tortured while Skye is in another holding room listening. Fitz walks in and Skye tells him that they know each other from the other world. As the Hydra agents take her away, she tells him that he doesn’t want to do this to which he responds with. “Yes. yes I do. I guess you don’t know me at all.”

Thoughts on the episode

Damnnnnnn this episode was insaneeee. Iain de caestecker is so good at playing evil fitz tho. But poor Skye. I really hope the others manage to save her in the next episode. Really happy about all the skyeward scenes and Coulson learning how to be an agent again. Also good guy ward is absolutely perfect. Can we please upload him into an LMD and bring him back to the real world? Although, he most likely will die trying to save Skye and the others aka Poetic Justice. I guess Radcliffe kind of got what he had coming all along. A vengeful Aida for the way that he treated her in the real world, as a tool and a pawn in his game of war. He shoved her aside when he didn’t need her and then used her to get what he wanted. Aida got what she wanted, human feelings and Fitz to accompany her. 

I’m really loving what they’ve done with making this world super Hydra-fied with the symbols, sculptures and voice overs. Even down to the smallest detail. Kudos to the crew. 

The title “Identity and Change” is really at the heart of this episode. As we see Coulson struggling with his identity, how Ward has changed for the better in this world and also how Daisy and Simmons are dealing with their own identity and the changes in the Framework. Simmons also revealed to Mace and Ward that this world is fake and I’m wondering how they will handle that news. Fitz on the other hand, seems to be hard to get through to at the moment. Both Radcliffe and Daisy tried to get through to him but failed as he chose Aida (Madame Hydra) and being on the evil side over them. I must say that Aida is really clever though, to have found the loophole in Radcliffe’s plan and exploit it to her own advantage. She also leverages on using Fitz’s love for her to convince him to not trust Radcliffe and Skye. That might have worked but it seems that Fitz enjoys being evil or he’s really in denial and trying to push away Radcliffe, Skye and Simmons who might remind him of who he was in the real world. 

I can’t wait for the next episode to come! I’m really loving this Framework Arc. I hope Skye gets rescued and we get to see more Skyeward scenes. And I can’t wait to see the gang back in action again. And maybe Mace using some of his Inhuman powers as the Patriot.  I also hope that we get to see the rest of the Resistance. Maybe Bobbie and Hunter? heh

Whew that’s all for now. Till the next recap! :)