#being a car salesman

[mizgnomer]

David Tennant for Comic Relief Red Nose Day 2024

for Tennant Tuesday (or whatever day this post finds you)

[fadedrainbowbookshelves]

A couple of clowns sharing a couple of jokes.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

MandelaBioTech Staff, Dave Lee and Amanda Harlow (this aus preacher)

They’re. Funny (evil)

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about fallout 4 against my will

[hatchetsfield-arch]

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞  𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞  𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬  𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧’𝐭  𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭  𝐡𝐞𝐫  𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞  𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬  𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬  𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝐰𝐚𝐬  𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆.  jane  lifts  her  head  to  look  at  emma,  wide  eyed,  and  it’s  all  she  can  do  before  those  three  words  take  all  jane’s  senses  hostage  -  causing  every  function  of  her  body  to  stall  like  the  failing  engine  of  an  old  car.  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔  𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇  𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈  𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐  𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒂’𝒔  𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏  𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒔.  in  nostalgia’s  embrace,  jane  can  smell  its  perfume  —  fragrances  of  summer  nights  spent  pretending  to  chase  away  the  boogeymen  from  emma’s  closet,  traces  of  campfires  and  the  marshmallows  jane  would  enthusiastically  show  emma  how  to  toast,  hints  of  old  children’s  storybooks  jane  would  read  to  emma  in  their  father’s  recliner.    

but  then  reality  quickly  yanks  jane  from  out  the  arms  of  nostalgia,  and  the  cologne  it  wears  —  fragrances  of  antiseptic,  traces  of  bleach  and  disinfectant  with  hints  of  saline  is  far  less  pleasant.  

jane  doesn’t  respond  at  first,  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚢  𝚘𝚏  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗  𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗  𝚑𝚎𝚛  𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚎.  for  a  few  tense  moments,  the  only  sounds  are  the  beeping  of  the  monitors  and  the  distant  chatter  of  nurses  walking  past  the  closed  door  of  jane’s  hospital  room.  the  tears  in  her  eyes  are  faster  than  the  words  on  her  tongue,  and  it  saturates  them  with  all  the  emotion  jane  has  stored  deep  in  her  gut  for  years  and  years;  ❝  oh,  peanut.  ❞  she  says,  tears  welling  ever-faster  in  her  eyes  as  she  uses  emma’s  childhood  nickname,  a  nickname  jane  herself  created,  a  nickname  jane  herself  doesn’t  even  know  the  last  time  she  had  called  emma  by  it.  

tears  stream  endlessly  down  her  cheeks,  now  saturating  the  collar  of  the  hospital  gown  she  wore.  ❝  i  love  you  too,  peanut.  so  much.  i  —  ❞  the  sudden  increase  of  the  beeping  on  the  monitor  tattles  on  jane’s  racing  heart,  ❝  i  -  i’m  sorry,  if  i  never  made  that  clear  to  you  before  .  .  .  if  i  didn’t  do  enough,  didn’t  say  enough  -  with  mom  and  dad.  if  i  was  a  part  of  the  reason  you  left  and  never  came  to  visit.  i’m  your  big  sister,  em,  i’m  supposed  to  be  your  anchor  .  .  .  .  i’m  sorry  that  i  wasn’t  enough  of  an  anchor  to  keep  you  here,  or  to  make  you  feel  safe  or  understood.  ❞    

jane’s  hand  crosses  the  small  distance  between  herself  and  the  rickety  chair  where  emma  sits  bedside.  jane  take  one  of  emma’s  hands  in  her  own,  the  other  cupping  emma’s  cheek.  and  for  a  moment,  jane  stares  at  her,  stares  at  her  baby  sister  (  for  no  matter  how  grown  or  independent  emma  gets,  she’ll  always  be  her  baby  sister  )  𝙖𝙣𝙙  𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨  𝙞𝙣  𝙩𝙝���  𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙩  𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩  𝙨𝙝𝙚’𝙨  𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚  𝙖𝙣𝙙  𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚  𝙖𝙨  𝙨𝙝𝙚  𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨  𝙩𝙝𝙚  𝙟𝙖𝙗  𝙤𝙛  𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨  𝙚𝙡𝙗𝙤𝙬  𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤  𝙩𝙝𝙚  𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚  𝙤𝙛  𝙝𝙚𝙧  𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙗𝙞𝙣𝙜  𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩,  𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨  𝙞𝙩  𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣  𝙞𝙩  𝙨𝙖𝙮𝙨;  𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴  𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺  𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦  𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦  𝘺𝘰𝘶  𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵  𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥  𝘰𝘯  𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘴.  

she  also ignores  its  follow  up  retort  of  how  @beaniestm  could  just  be  a  mere hallucination  caused  by  the  myriad  of  pain  meds  they  have  her  on.

❝  i’m  sorry,  peanut.  for  everything.  but  —  but  i’m  still  here,  and  you’re  here,  now,  and  .  .  .  and  maybe  we  can  keep  it  that  way?  keep  that  here  and  now  permanent?  ❞  her  fingers  travel  up  to  brush  away  a  few  fallen  strands,  tucking  them  back  behind  emma’s  ear.  

𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕  𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆  𝒋𝒂𝒏𝒆  𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒅𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔  𝒂𝒏𝒅  𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔  𝒔𝒉𝒆’𝒅  𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅  𝒊𝒏  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒚𝒂𝒓𝒅,  𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌  𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏  𝒔𝒉𝒆  𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍  𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅  𝒉𝒆𝒓  𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒖𝒕.

jane  pulls  back  then,  only  slightly,  and  attempts  to  lighten  the  tense  and  sterile  atmosphere  with  a  joke;  

❝  if  i’d  known  all  it  took  to  get  you  to  come  home  was  a  little  car  crash,  i’d  have  done  it  ages  ago.  ❞  

jane  winces,  𝙗𝙪𝙩  𝙞𝙩’𝙨  𝙣𝙤𝙩  𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢  𝙖𝙣𝙮  𝙥𝙝𝙮𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡  𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣  —  𝙣𝙤𝙩  𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢  𝙖𝙣𝙮  𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣  𝙩𝙝𝙚  𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙨  𝙞𝙣  𝙝𝙚𝙧  𝙄.𝙑.  𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙  𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥  𝙨𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚.  the  awkwardness  is  a  bitter  reminder  why  she  became  a  therapist  and  not  a  comedian.  ❝  shit,  em  i’m  sorry,  i  didn’t  mean  it  like  that—  ❞

[vivitalks]

pjo show better not cut out Crusty's Water Bed Palace i need to see percy bargain a man to his death

[manofthepipis]

I don’t know if you had any future plans for this, but.. what would exactly happen if Spamton unfortunately overheated his NEO body? Would he,, self-destruct like we see him do when taking the FIGHT route in his battle? Or would he rather just,, “power off”/force reset and be in like a undetermined state on unconsciousness until his body cooled down? Good thing that Jevil was there when he was! Who knows what would’ve happened if he actually did overheat and now Jevil+ the poor Addisons have to brainstorm of what to do with his body and fast LMFAO. Or who knows? Maybe he would just turn into the Dealmaker again!

Also a silly little side note, when the Addisons are more chill/cool with spamNEO in the future, I can just see NEO Spamton carrying the Addisons in like, the palm of his had while they go grocery shopping or something and the rest of castle town is like ?????? Why do these salesmen have a voltron knockoff Uber driver LMAOO

aaa great question!! :D

this au im taking some lil creative liberties, where after he's cut down and downloads neo into himself, if he were to overheat, it would lead to a shutdown and he'd crash, like his pacifist ending until he was cool enough to get back up. it's an inconvenience for sure but godlike power has its drawbacks lmao. i'd think the alternate ending to that chapter would be he would shut down and jevil would just hang around until the addisons inevitably found him and he'd give them the fright of a lifetime (as if a powered-down neo isn't scary and unpredictable enough)

i do like that idea of turning into the dealmaker. Perhaps he could 'save himself' by turning back just before shutting down while neo, including turning into the glasses and just being powered off that way. The adds, if they found him, would probably be really concerned the dealmaker wasn't talking (or if they know this is just one of spamton's average things, one of them would wear the dealmaker until he woke up)

also hfjdkdkdkdk that side note yes absolutely i've had that as a mental image since the very beginning or something similar like he's carrying all four of them on his shoulders or on his arms like theyre birds. darkners wonder what this robot is until they see a regular spamton and it's a race between them connecting the dots on their own or spamton boasting about being neo bc of his lack of self control

[unanimoustwins]

hey guys crazy q lore right? if u wanna talk about it with some cool ppl feel free to join my adults only (NOT NSFW) qsmp lore discussion server!

https://discord.gg/p2HFa9cBF

[marlynnofmany]

Bringing this back for anyone else who may be Experiencing A Weather right now

*giant wind gust outside*

Me: “Don’t say it.”

My Brain:

[feral-teeth]

I think im fine and then realize if i gave my brain to a neurotypical person for a day they would probably die, like then and there, as soon as they got it

*slaps the roof of my brain like a car* this baby can fit so much trauma and thoughts and anxiety in there, you wouldn’t even KNOW what to do with it and its a SHOCK that the brain fluid isn’t leaking out of their ears!!!!

[muchroom]

isaac keeps daydreaming about being a used car salesman who fucks men on the hoods of unsold cars. you guys call crow the horny one - open your eyes. crow talks the talk. isaac walks the walk. in the most insane way possible

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about nora again

[bi-writes]

simon being protective of his mail order bride scratches all the right spots in my brain.

mail-order bride

you're almost relieved when you hear the knock at the door. you've been a holding a tree pose for a few minutes too long, and the girl hosting the online yoga class is starting to fry your eardrums with her too-perky voice.

you're sweating bullets, and her hair hasn't moved a fucking inch out of her ponytail.

you mute the television, wiping your forehead before making your way to the front door. you open it with a sigh, not really knowing what you expected to see, but it certainly wasn't the average-dressed man standing on the steps there.

you blink, raising a brow when his eyes roam over you, and you realize suddenly that you're wearing workout clothes, which is showing off a little more than you'd like to some rando standing on your doorstep.

"uh..." you look around a little. "i'm sorry, can i help you?"

he smiles. it's a little unnerving.

"right, yeah, i'm starting a business around here, and i wanted to ask if you've been needing any help with any fixtures around the house. i'm giving a 50% discount if you give me a rating on google."

you open your mouth for a moment, frowning.

"uhm..." you shake your head, "sorry. we don't need any help right now."

"you live here alone? sometimes it's hard to spot when the electric's on the piss, y'know? need a keen eye," he laughs, coming up one of the steps. you shake your head again.

"no, thanks."

he's a wiry man, but he's tall (not taller than your husband, but taller than you). you step back a little and start to close the door. he comes up the steps. out of the corner of your eye, you see the cat slip out between your legs, hissing a little as the distance closes between you and the man.

"wait! can i give you my contact info? i don't have a card, but i can leave you my--"

the sound of simon's truck pulling into the garage gets both of you to look behind. simon doesn't even park all the way inside. he throws the truck door open, stepping out of it, and the man on your steps moves back away from you immediately, making his way off the little porch.

simon looks huge, more so than ever. his steps are heavy, boots hitting the ground like a warning bell, and he's wearing just a short-sleeved shirt that's showing off those glorious fucking arms. you have never doubted simon's strength, but he looks like he could flip a car with the anger that's leaving him in heavy waves. you're surprised that you are not afraid; you just know somehow that simon won't touch you.

"oi!" simon yells, and the man definitely understands he picked the wrong fucking house to be a creepy salesman at when his knees nearly buckle as he tries to walk away. "where the fuck do y'think y'r goin', you twat?"

you sigh deeply, not realizing how much you were shaking until you notice your hands trembling around the doorknob. you watch as simon catches the guy by his dirty jean jacket, nearly lifting him completely off his feet as he drags him towards the fence gate.

"hey! hey! i didn't do anything!"

"i saw ya, ya fuckin' arse, know exactly wot the fuck y'were doin'," simon growls, tossing him onto the sidewalk. he hits the pavement with a cry, holding onto his arm, and simon slams the fence gate closed before pointing at him accusingly. "'f i ever see ya anywhere near m'fuckin' house or even askin' m'wife for so much as fuckin' directions, i'll cut y'r bloody prick off, y'hear?"

you blink as simon comes closer, the cat retreating back into the house once they see him. he keeps walking, crowding you back into the house before he shuts and locks the front door. his chest is heaving, black t-shirt doing nothing to hide the puff of his chest and how large he makes himself when he stands up to other men. he doesn't even need to make himself larger; simon takes up enough space for two men combined.

"he touch you?" simon asks, his voice low. you see his fists clench, and you have no doubt that if you said yes, simon would go outside and paint the pavement a new color with the man's face.

you shake your head frantically, and he lets out a deep breath, reaching up and wrapping a hand around the back of your head and pulling you close.

he bends, pressing his masked forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he breathes in slowly. he rubs at the nape of your neck, soothing you, and you smile when he pulls away, giving him those big eyes that say thank you, thank you, thank you.

simon cocks his head, staring behind you, and you turn with him to see the cat blinking slowly at the two of you from it's place on the windowsill.

"should get you a fucking guard dog instead," simon mutters, pulling his mask off and kicking his boots into the corner. you smile as he walks away, trying to cool your warm cheeks with the backs of your hands.

doesn't he know you already have one?

[justthatspiffy]

went w/ bf to check out a cheap used car and he got upsold despite having been preapproved for a loan through his credit union

[celestedoesarttm]

WHY have i seen so little Bill!Jon art. I thought we as a TMA community collectively agreed that Jon will do stupid things for information (INCLUDING SHAKING A DANGEROUS BEING’S HAND WHEN HE KNOWS BETTER THAT LITERALLY HAPPENED IN CANON 😭)/silly

But anyways!! I got to thinking that if Bill appeared to S2 Jon and offered him information about Gertrude’s murder Jon would make a deal faster than a used car salesman

[bellarkeandclintashaandsuch]

I don’t know how to feel about The Luminous Solution. I’m a sucker for best friends to lovers, so I was never going to be happy with Ryou and Mai. I still like Mai’s character and I love the actor and loved him in MoD. But also, his mom looks like she desperately wants him to go with them wherever they’re moving to, so I feel bad.

But I do feel like it was unnecessary to make Nack into a villain (I guess that’s an extreme way to put it). He was just a sweet kid who wanted to take care of his friend, and I feel like Ryou and Dena would know if he weren’t a good person. He doesn’t need to be a worse person than Mai to still be rejected. But I guess unnecessary drama is what the whole show is about.

And it’s about this magic cafe and wishes, but I feel like the exact outcomes and consequences of the wishes aren’t clear, to me at least. And how will they wrap everything up in one episode? They didn’t even cover everything with the magic shop lady’s kid in present day yet.

I started out sympathizing with Thana, but now I think he’s just a moron. He literally spent an entire day with that other guy instead of his boyfriend because he was lying about not having a job all while boohooing that they don’t have any time together. Even if he didn’t want to confess, he could’ve stayed away for an hour or two, and then come back and said he was done because it was a SATURDAY. But instead, he stayed out until dark! And then he kept smoking even after promising to stop. And I know he wasn’t oblivious to the kid’s crush on him. They were holding hands while he blew smoke into his mouth! He’s so stupid. Gun crushed those heartbreaking scenes though.

So far Pen is my favorite. But does she ever rest? She tells Phathit to rest all the time, but she’s always at work too!

Also why did Naphat look like he was surprised Phathit rejected him?

And what was the key that Pen gave to Phathit? It looked like the magic keys. Maybe I watched these episodes too quickly and too close together. I thought 6 episodes was a good thing to keep the story tight. But they they didn’t even start making wishes until what, end of episode 3? I’m so confused.