#behold a himbo

[clockworkreapers]

Found a very fun song for Jerry...

[percentstardust]

my muses that are himbos

mickey altieri

chad meeks martin

dewey riley

thor odinson

steve harrington

raiden tanaka

drogon

jacaerys velaryon

elias fitzherbert

danny fenton

ken carson

zed necrodopolous

eugene fitzherbert

mateo ramirez

jaime lannister

han solo

[deadbutcaffeinated]

I did no research into this mushroom (though I really should have done some) I just saw a reference and the first out loud thought I had was "That is a whole ass man"

[spydcddya]

she isn't one to date. hell, emi cannot even remember the last time she'd been on a decent date that she didn't get stood up on or ghosted all together. still: singles awareness day was upon her, and emi had nothing planned other then spending some time on the couch in her pj's watching horrible reality tv with some popcorn. that is-- until she caught sight of someone she recognized at the police station as she was turning in paperwork for her latest villain capture.

emerald eyes catch sight of the handsome man just as he seems to be leaving the floor their both on and quick as can be, emi drops her case files onto the detective's desk and speeds to the elevator, all smiles!

" quick! somebody call the cops!! it’s got to be illegal to look that good! " giggling unabashedly, she follows loid onto the elevator with a happy hum and reaches across him to press the g for ground floor. " hi! i'm emi! er--- miss joke! .. but, I kinda already feel like I know you?? maybe it's because you're just so dreamy! " & cue the giggles, . / I am so sorry, she's insane and thinks everyone is hot jxnrjrjsnnw -- happy valentines day! 💕

UNPROMPTED ASK » ANSWERED.

↳ @ofgravitation always accepting !

LOID  HAD  A  DEADLINE  TO  MEET.    to  the  drone  of  the  police  chief,    acquiring  data  on  the  low  lives  of  this  country  was top-priority  --  though  it  was  puzzling  where  he  fit  among  the list.    perhaps  a  step  above  despicable,  if  this  were  a  review  of  his  current  behavior.    but  like  every  pro-hero,    LAW  ENFORCEMENT'S  TAKEN  ALL  THE  CREDIT.    spies  would  never  be  appreciated.    &  with  that,    a  lofty  hoard  of  memorandum  is  sat  for  their  secretary  to  file  as  he  humiliatingly  brings  his  fellowship  down  with  him.    the  last  to  thank  &  the  first ��up  for  critique.    neither  he  wants  to  wait  his  turn  for  as  he  marches  for  the  elevator.    

someone's  tailing  him,   &  at  first  he's  a  soundless  party  to  ignorance,    not  to  let  them  break  his  walk.    SECRETARIES  ALWAYS  CAME  AFTER  HIM  with  an  apparent  "need"  for  information,    with  newly  reddened  lips  put  on  through  the  bathroom  mirror.    but  it  wasn't  their  desperation  that  seasoned  his  ears.    no.    this  was  vibrant  &  charging  in  with  speed   --  loid's  suddenly  not  alone.    she's  reached  across  to  poke  the  button  that  he's  seconds  away  from  pressing.   the woman  was  bubbly  and  with  their  slow  descent,   had  time  to  break  the  ice.    SHE'S  SEEN  HIM  BEFORE   ?    well,   he  was  present  at  yesterday's  school  board  meeting.   but  the agent does  know  of  her.    ketsubutsu  high's  mascot.    a  laugh  that  boisterious  couldn't  be  mistaken.    

an  impassive  return  to  the  other,   ❝   you're  the  laughing  stock.   ❞   a  close  guess  ....  a  rude  guess.    she  did  say  her  name  was  miss  joke.  &   maybe  she  was  suffering  from  light - headedness. ❝   i  don't  know  if  that's  part  of  my  job  description  but  if  you're  seeing  things,   you  should  TAKE  A  SEAT  WHEN WE REACH  THE  LOBBY -- ❞

[bouvillea]

wires crossed

[smallfrogpleasedtomeetyou]

ngl viggo looks like an edited in png like

*insert ur fave character here*

somehow can't get over the fact that this is a real frame tbh

[meo-eiru]

As someone who has a thing for hot muscular dudes being “mommy” toward a girl (aka VERY rare kink to find stuff of) bless you for your beautiful elf man 😭

I feel you! Honestly it’s so rare that I was fully prepared to getting shamed for it but lo and behold he became my most popular post and oc.

I’m just glad people are enjoying the himbo milf elf tiddies with me

[anglophile-rin]

If it pleases the court (TUA fandom), I would like to present evidence in the case of: Luther becomes a stripper in season four.

Exhibit A was innocuous in and of itself. Filming was locked down tight, as we are all painfully aware (God, please Steve, a crumb, we're starving), but I did have a few nights of fevered stalking and came across this casting call:

Okay, cool. Could be anything. Interesting, but nothing telling.

Then came the Exhibit B: the promo photos! And, of course, their accompanying emojis:

We all seemed to agree that these emojis were season tidbits. Luther season one: The moon, baby. Season two: bare knuckle brawling under the name King Kong. Season three: married. Season four:....uh? Disco era?

No, no, my dearest of friends. I suggest that dancing is less Boogie Nights and much more Thunder Down Under.

Finally, Exhibit C: the teaser trailer, really solidified it for me.

First, we have the spacesuit, which is likely supposed to make us think he's literally going back into space. But behold! That helmet has no actual glass:

Not ideal in the unforgiving vacuum of space.

Seeing this, I was sure Luther was gracing us with at least one tearaway this season. My only hope was that they would call him Space Boy.

And lo and behold:

God bless us, every one.

So, there you have it. I submit to the court that Number One "Luther" Hargreeves has fully and joyfully embraced his new bod. And for a $20 lap dance, so can you.

Bonus! The himbo twins look like they're going undercover together and Diego ends up shirtless, wearing only cuffs:

Which, of course, brings to mind Exhibit A: casting call for a Chippendale-type. Kinda like:

Diego: I don't have a suit.

Luther: I gotchu.

UPDATE:

Two more pieces of evidence have emerged! The first is innocuous:

A little tongue in cheek, but it definitely fits. Could be affirmation bias, but hey, what couldn't?

And then, the doozy. My smoking gun. Exhibit XXX, from the new posters releases today (26 Jun 24):

GET THOSE ONES, LUTHER!

[il-predestinato]

Behold! My 3 favourite himbos: 🥰

@F1: Here's when you can expect Grill The Grid over the next few weeks! 😍

[vilsoo]

‎ VILSOO PRESENTS…

‎ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 ‎ ‎ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧… 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫!

‎ 𖤐 ENTRY TICKET HERE 𖤐 ‎ ֺ [ taglist ]

𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘; 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 ��𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘… Inspired by Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights, indulge in sex and horror galore at our premiere Kinktober event, HORRORLAND! Would you dare venture our haunted houses, experience our exhilarating attractions, and uncover the scandalous, deadly mysteries of Horrorland?

OPENED OCTOBER 2023 🕸️

fandoms: jujutsu kaisen, fnaf, re4, spiderman atsv, codmw2.

⚠︎ Beware that event may be too intense for parkland guests and is NOT recommended for minors. Horrorland will explore darker and extreme contents that may be triggering. ⚠︎

ㅤ ↓ VIEW PARKLANDS (KINKTOBER MASTERLIST) ↓

MANEATERVILLE FRIDAYS🩸we feed your fear from the thirst for blood, flesh, and lust that terrorizes the handsome men in town! can you survive the vastly evil sensuality of maneaters, femme fatales, witches, and vampires?

𖤐 OCTOBER 6TH: ❝ SEASON OF THE WITCH ❞ starring GETO SUGURU (jjk)

“love spells aren’t enough to make you mine forever…”

⚠︎ CW: witch disguised as sex therapist, implied homewrecking, slight yandere, witchcraft, seduction, impersonation, bodysnatching, body/soul possession, kidnapping, eventual smut, horror/thriller themes.

𖤐 OCTOBER 13TH: ❝ MY GIRLFRIEND IS A SUCCUBUS! ❞ starring MICHAEL AFTON (fnaf)

“an insatiable lust for flesh, gore, and sex…!”

⚠︎ CW: established relationship, modern au, halloween setting, malewife himbo bf/girlboss demon gf dynamic, succubus!reader, revenge, murder, flesh eating, tentacle bondage, msub!michael.

𖤐 OCTOBER 27TH: ❝ LUST AT FIRST BITE ❞ starring LEON KENNEDY (re4)

“i’ve always wondered what you tasted like, your highness..”

⚠︎ CW: historical royalty au, duchess!reader, coercion so dubcon warning, seduction, hypnosis, eventual smut, bathtub sex, marking, neck biting, blood drinking, mentions of killing, loss of innocence, multiple orgasms.

ㅤ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

S&H CITY SATURDAYS🍷a dark and gloomy city bound to corruption, sin, and immorality known as the devil’s playground. lurking within these streets beholds the prurient reigns of terror that which may also arouse parkland guests…

𖤐 OCTOBER 7TH: ❝ DEATHGASM.COM ❞ starring SIMON “GHOST” RILEY, KÖNIG (codmw2)

“never go too far in the dark web…”

⚠︎ TW: dubcon, kidnapping, sadism, voyeurism, drugging, bondage, impact play, sex toys, livestream sex, manhandling, exhibitionism, forced creampie, double penetration, mind break, mask kink.

𖤐 OCTOBER 14TH: ❝ FREAK NEXT DOOR ❞ starring TOJI FUSHIGURO (jjk)

“i love watching you every night from my window...”

⚠︎ TW: noncon, drugging, stalking/voyeurism, murder threats, perverted neighbor, kinda yandere, forced cuckolding, minor gunplay, bondage, degrading, dark obsession, kidnapping, eventual smut, forced creampie.

𖤐 OCTOBER 28TH: ❝ BREAK MY MIND ❞ starring WILLIAM AFTON (fnaf)

“it is not your flesh that sustains me; it is your fear…”

⚠︎ TW: dubcon, mind control (glitchtrap virus), sadism, kidnapping, murder threats, fear play, manipulation, predator/prey dynamic, implied age gap, degradation, eventual rough smut, mentions of vanny mask.

ㅤ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

HALLOWEEN DAYS ❤️‍🔥 these dark woods satisfies those with teratophilia… deadly creatures preying on their victims, serving their lustful fantasies with wild, animalistic urges! your arousal and fear may provoke them further, so beware…

𖤐 OCTOBER 30TH: ❝ SATAN’S PLAYTHING ❞ starring SUCCUBUS!GOJO SATORU (jjk)

“you look so pretty getting stretched out like that…”

⚠︎ TW: dubcon, female!gojo satoru, tentacle trap in the woods, tentacle bondage, rough tentacle sex, mindbreak, double penetration, subplot from god’s whore, throat fucking, degrading, 1980s setting.

𖤐 OCTOBER 31ST: ❝ BLOODMOON WHORE ❞ starring WEREWOLF!MIGUEL O’HARA (atsv)

“your perfect little body is all mine to breed tonight…”

⚠︎ CW: established relationship, miguel in heat, rough sex, soft sex, marking, biting, possession, breeding, knotting, impregnating, degrading/praising, power struggle, multiple orgasms, semi-public sex.

ALL WORKS BELONG TO VILSOO © 2023 . please do not steal my kinktober prompts/works/themes! reposting any of my works outside tumblr that minors can access is strictly prohibited. will be cross posted on my ao3 soon.

[alexatheris-44]

Behold my bois, my beloved sillies.

Axcel’Roth (tall, himbo and scaly) and Valduran (taller, pink eyes and sketchy) are my current fixation OCs so you will be seeing ‘em often lmao

Probably even see them kiss… like a LOT

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom Observation Nicknames and Funny Tags: Part Jujutsu Kaisen

To add to my fandom behaviors and trends series. I thought it would share some of the funny or slutty nicknames some of the fandoms have given to their characters because trust me some had me laugh out loud and deserve more attention due to the creativity. Not just the nicknames. The tags have also been something to behold. But just in case that's not your thing, I did put a break in the post so expand at your own risk

Now let me make myself perfectly clear this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me.

So, let's start with Jujutsu Kaisen because that fandom is the best when it comes to nicknames and absolutely hilarious tags. So here are some of my favorites and they have at least one for every character

Kento Nanami: The Linkedin Daddy, The eldest daughter's dream man, " When you're tired of trying to fix him and now want a man that can fix you", The malewife, "The smutty wolf of Wall Street," "A man that could make a housewife out of anyone", Nanami 'i break walls with creeps and kneel for women' Kento," & Corporate Bae.

Gojo: "The unstable himbo", Everything the youngest child has ever dreamed of, The I could fix him (no one can fix him), A little freak affectionate

Geto: The "mentally ill genocidal pookie", "a DILF that fathered so hard he mothered", The middle child's dream man, & Precious baby girl who has done nothing wrong in their entire life (has literally committed terrorism and murder), "my princess with disorders."

Toji Fushiguro: "A horrible father that just happens to be unreasonably hot", Darling dirtbag, Extra wide blorbo, Precious beef cake, it would be worth the STD, hear me out the worm offers some interesting possibilities, my precious darling deadbeat, babygirl, The things I would let him do to me,

Choso: "His sunken eyes and depressed swag have captivated me", my little emo boy, "he is a beautiful angel and i want to sit on his face until he drowns in my p**** juice", pookie, big handsome kitty, baby daddy, mr. rideable nose, 150 y/o virgin.

Mahito: A "beloved princess with a disorder", "When you just want to freak who's objectively a monster"

Sukuna: "When you're down for atrocities", I might not survive but it would be worth it & Four armed daddy,

Yuki Tsukumo: "My tall and buff queen", & dommy mommy with a motorcycle.

I think everyone can tell the fandom favorites and if I see any more in the future I will add them. But I hope at least someone gets a laugh out of these and thank you to the people who put these nicknames or phrases in the comments, tags and multiple anonymous messages received.

And just in case you're feeling called out JJK fandom this is just part 1 of a series. I have multiple other fandoms posts started in the draft box

[mandsleanan]

Oh no, my loaf of himbo-bread has burnt ends.

He's just a good, dumb baby.

[polivanova]

Behold my fellow last exile enjoyers, here comes the wet cat man himself! And of course his himbo friend nemesis

had spent way more time on this piece than planned but nevertheless enjoyed the details (and rewatching the 11th episode three times in a row hehe)

[brotpqueen]

Okay chapter six is nearly ready. However I do have to share something that was inspired by a comment from @jennythepenny. Behold a microcosm of my summer camp good omens au madness.

Technically Newt shouldn’t count because he’s a twig man but shhhh. Also honourable mentions to Aziraphale but you’re too smart to be considered a himbo.

[witchyfoxelf]

my 20 favorite 2024 mtg stories

greetings, fellow planeswalkers and/or omenpath travelers! since the days of antiquity, days whose memories have either been lost to oblivion (livejournal) or written on the face of a fragile eternity (letterboxd, goodreads, comicbookgeek) an extremely dumb thing i have always enjoyed doing to help me reflect on the end of the year is to make ranked lists of some of my favorite media i’ve consumed.

since official mtg story is basically the only kind of media i’m remotely current on (well, with one notable exception which i might get to in a forthcoming post! who can say?), i decided to continue this tradition by making a list of my top 20 favorite stories from 2024!

please note that this is just to celebrate some of my favorite stories of the year, i’m not saying that if i ranked something #1 it’s objectively better than something i ranked #10, or that any story that didn’t make this extremely self-indulgent list wasn’t also spectacular. this was an incredible year for magic story, and it was frankly super hard to narrow down my list of favorites to even this somewhat ridiculous length. so just consider this me spending a few pages flailing about how great mtg story is using an internet-friendly numbered list to give it some structure.

cool? cool. let’s get to the good stuff.

20. outlaws of thunder junction, episode 3: a train to prosperity by akemi dawn bowman

you'll have to excuse your son, oko. he has a train to catch.

kellan stopping a train full of innocent people (or non-innocent people; the kid is not the kind of hero who purity tests those he saves) from toppling into a ravine with nothing but fae magic and sheer determination even though his heroism is likely to earn him nothing but a jail cell is such a perfect distillation of why i (and so many others) love the kid so much. annie flash swooping in to make sure he doesn't receive that unjust reward is an equally revealing moment for her. i'm so glad they're looking out for each other.

we always knew kellan was going to be disappointed by his father, but you still have to feel for him when the cracks start showing.

19. duskmourn: house of horror, episode 1: don't go past the old dark house by mira grant*

the opening flashback does a ton of work just immediately establishing a much different tone than your average magic story. but what i particularly loved about this first duskmourn main set story was our reintroduction to niko aris. niko is not thriving since losing their spark. and the kind of justified bitterness they're carrying with them adds some really interesting texture to a character i'm really pleasantly surprised to see returning to the story in a fairly major role.

(*yes, we literally all know who mira grant is, but i asked and she does want to be credited that way when she's using that pen name)

18. duskmourn: house of horror, episode 6: don't die by mira grant

BEHOLD THE POWER OF MATH!

the odd-couple heroic duos that work so effectively in the duskmourn main set story reach their zenith with the hunky elf prince's unlikely battlecry. i cannot wait to hopefully read about the further adventures of smartypants & himbo upon our return to arcaivos.

as is often the case, the story-ending setpiece action scene was awesome, especially kaito planeswalker-ex-machinaing to do one of those badass “i drove my sword through the bad guy's back just when you thought all was lost” action movie entrances. plus it's part of the continued dance of him & the wanderer saving each other, see also the echo of him getting dragged away from the group and her reaching for him in episode 2.

oh, and MAKING A HECKING ARTIFICIAL OMENPATH sure is a reasonable payoff for proft's repeatedly-established genius. really wasn't expecting that.

but of course what really lingers about this story is the incredibly heartwrenching final goodbye between nashi and his mother. even knowing it was coming on my reread, it still made me cry. i'm having to steel myself not to cry even just trying to write about it in very general terms here. it's just a moment of so much heart, it says so much about the two characters involved. it's the absolute best way for narrative fiction to hurt you.

oh also i had totally normal feelings about the chapter opening by describing a tightly bound, helpless enby. have i mentioned how enby i am lately.

17. duskmourn: house of horror, episode 4: don't give up by mira grant

this is the episode where we find out how the fateshifters aminatou equipped the party with work, and i gotta say it's a dang creative way to let us have our cake & eat it. it's hard to do an 80s horror-vibe story without watching some of our favorite characters getting sliced & diced.

jace's betrayal of kaito was also just incredibly well-written. the kind of villain who says “i'm so sorry” while stabbing you in the back is such a good look on that emo boy.

the wickerfolk are in a dead heat with the razorkin for my favorite horror monster in this setting, and we don't get to see the razorkin be nearly as sadistic as they are in some of the flavor text in the main story, so other than getting tied up by cultists, all the wickerfolk stuff was a high point for me in terms of this setting's promised horror content.

16. bloomburrow, episode 4: soothsaying and stormcalling by valerie valdes

there’s a lot of action and advancing the plot in this penultimate episode of the bloomburrow main set story, but what i really loved was all the little character moments of the adventuring party growing more comfortable with each other, especially with otterified outsider ral zarek becoming more fully entangled with the party’s actual animalfolk.

there’s some extraordinarily brief but still lovely gay fluff in episode 1 showing ral & tomik as a married couple, but ral being slightly embarrassed to admit that he missed his husband in this episode was hecking adorable and i deeply appreciate that valdes went out of her way to find time for little moments like this throughout the story.

helga also continues to be the most wonderful bean ever, and watching her continuously overcome her anxieties to be an effective member of the party (whether she gives herself credit for it or not) honestly just rules.

15. duskmourn, episode 3: don't look back by mira grant

it's unsurprising that kaito is taking the primary blue-aligned heroic planeswalker torch from jace, but rarely do such exchanges get so explicit an in-text acknowledgement as kaito cold-cocking jace in the face and giving him a bloody nose. the fact that this moment wasn't immortalized on a story spotlight card is one of the biggest whiffs in the history of story on the cards imo.

kaito & jace aren't the only odd couple we get here, as the rescue party has been split into pairs of characters who know each other the least and who provide very interesting contrasts to each other. the standout here is clearly zimone & tyvar, truly one of the most iconic pairings of intellectual & himbo i've ever seen in any text. while this isn't the chapter that showcases them the most effectively, i still wanted to call out what a great structural choice it was to pair up the characters who provide the most contrast to each other, even when they're not threatening to break each other's noses.

14. duskmourn, episode 5: don't give in by mira grant

yes hello where do i sign up to be cruelly betrayed by a cute gay boy with an asymmetrical haircut and then tightly bound by cultists so i can be held captive until i'm consumed by an unnervingly powerful demon, thank you yes i'll stay on the line.

tyvar's shuddering realization at the beginning of the chapter that they're inside of a massive living thing is extremely effectively unnerving. it really helps drive home the existential & visceral horror of this place.

13. outlaws of thunder junction, epilogue: bring the end, part 2 by alison luhrs

i understood but didn't agree with jace's choice when the sylex was thrumming to terrible, death-bringing life in his hands, the spectre of phyrexia's imminent victory confronting him even as its oil spread through him, unmaking him. he had to choose now, he had to do something now. i don't agree at all with his choice, but i understood how much pressure he was under to make one.

his decision to essentially run it back because he's Tired Of This Shit is simply unforgivable. you're not a god, jace. i'm sorry your life has been hard, but you simply do not get to decide the destinies of billions of people because things have been rough for you. go be a hermit. let vraska rail you senseless. you can just be Done heroing if that's how you feel.

yelling at fictional characters aside, this is the second part of a two-part epilogue filling us in on what jace & vraska have been up to behind the scenes since the phyrexian invasion. (perhaps part 1 will appear later on this list! who can say?) it isn't quite as dramatic as the first part, but i'm glad jace & vraska's recovery got so much space to breathe, and that vraska got to be much more active in part 2 than in part 1.

it was also just such a glorious surprise getting these two epilogues. i wasn't expecting anything of this scale as the otj story was winding down, and i felt genuinely kind of breathless reading them the first time. no matter how i feel about jace's actions, these stories did a lot of heavy lifting in making me care.

the lesson, as always: magic story good.

12. murders at karlov manor, episode 8: gods of chaos by seanan mcguire

a thing about me that i think a lot of folks can relate to is that i just love a good-old dramatic detective summation. that agatha christie-core moment where you gather all the suspects and the detective dramatically reveals their solution.

so yeah, this was always going to be a chapter i loved, but like everything about the karlov manor story, this thing has layers. there’s always at least like three things going on in every scene, no matter how small it feels. and while the grand detective summation is what i was excited for, i think the lead-up to it is some of the best writing of the story. kaya broodily contemplating the sunrise while guild leader after guild leader arrives to witness the dramatic conclusion of the investigation. the whole thing is just crackling with potential energy, like so much of the rest of the story is.

and heck, the character-writing. proft relishing in his crowning moment. judith trying to make everything about her. kaya’s ptsd. (that’s not a guess on my part, mcguire has repeatedly said she wrote her that way on purpose.) aurelia literally hauling massacre girl around on a leash. massacre girl being completely incapable of not bratting while on said leash. me not being remotely jealous wait i'm not a character in this whoops.

the karlov manor story is criminally slept on, y’all. 10 episodes is a pretty luxurious amount of space for what seems like a pretty small story on the surface, but mcguire just absolutely crams every moment of the story with something compelling and it just absolutely makes you want more. i don’t care that your lgs is probably slipping karlov manor play boosters in your bag just to get rid of them, the story kicks so much butt.

11. murders at karlov manor, episode 3: shadows of regret by seanan mcguire

proft is the kind of character who could easily come off as Kind Of The Worst in the wrong circumstances, so mcguire makes sure to place him in the right circumstances basically immediately when he breaks a wrongly accused murder suspect out of azorius custody and has this incredibly metal exchange with her right before doing so:

"will you help me clear your name?" etrata looked at him. "the guilds need their pound of flesh. there is no clearing my name." "swear you'll help me," said proft insistently. "you can't fix this." "i am alquist proft, and i will risk my name to clear yours. now swear."

seriously, y’all. this guy kinda rules.

this is interwoven brilliantly with kaya struggling with her conflicted feelings about being back on ravnica and steeling herself to nope right off the plane until she discovers there's been another murder and it's her Very Platonic Friend teysa. the passages describing kaya’s mounting dread as she strolls through the eerily deserted halls of karlov manor are just an unfair bit of writing from mcguire, and fully earn kaya’s reluctant decision that she’s In This Now.

10. duskmourn: house of horror, side story: dead end by mira grant

this is the haunting story of one of the last people alive on the plane that duskmourn was before the house consumed everything. one of her world's twin suns has already been claimed by the house, bathing what little of the world is left unconsumed in an eerie twilight under which the last remaining free elves can do nothing but keep watch and wait for the inevitable end. truly gripping stuff here.

9. duskmourn: house of horror, side story: keep them alive by mira grant

simply one of the most unique stories we've had in mtg story. “keep them alive” is from the perspective of a “beastie,” one of the more benign but nevertheless disquieting denizens of the titular housebound plane. it's addressed directly to the reader as though you're a beastie that's come of age and are about to go out into the terrifying world of duskmourn to find your person, your “keep-alive” to whom you'll be bonded. this story is aching with hope & heartache, with encouragement & warning. it does such a tremendous job of bringing this little corner of duskmourn worldbuilding to life with such powerful feeling.

8. outlaws of thunder junction, episode 6: the ballad of thieves and thunderslingers by akemi dawn bowman

the jace reveal had me, and most of the people i know who read magic story, reeling. it was a genuine gut punch of a moment in the best possible way.

i especially love how many clues there were in retrospect. i felt vindicated for feeling like “ashiok” didn't seem like themself at all earlier in the story. my misgivings about vraska just sort of being… there, with no explanation, were immediately assuaged. everything just clicked into place and i just had to shake my head and think, “wellp, you got me.”

i’m going to miss kellan being one of the major p.o.v. characters of the story, but this was a very satisfying ending (for now) to his story. i think everyone who touched his character did an incredible job with him, he’s pretty easily one of my favorite mtg characters of all time, but i’m also glad he gets to live a more peaceful life full of simple, rewarding labor and pie for a while. the kid earned it.

(also, amalia showing up with an umbrella to protect her from the sunlight was hecking priceless, and her turning kellan into a blushing, stammering mess was freaking adorable. 11/10, no notes.)

7. bloomburrow, episode 5: nightfall in fountainport by valerie valdes

helga getting to tell off glarb not once but twice is not something i saw coming. mabel really gets to shine the brightest in this one, but she simply would not have been able to save the day without helga’s help. and i love that the ultimate solution is mabel righting what was wrong by returning the calamity beast egg to its mother. this was an incredibly satisfying end to one of magic's best main set stories.

6. outlaws of thunder junction, side story: blood is thicker than venom by h.e. edgmon

annie flash was amazing in the main story, so i'm really glad she was given a further chance to shine in this solo outing. like a lot of thunder junction stories, there are themes of learning to overcome the weight of one's past to be the person you want to be. in annie's case specifically, this sees her cautiously stepping out of the role of the outcast loner and finding a place in a new community.

i really love the way this story approached annie's character. she's clearly traumatized and expecting the worst from everyone, but she's also a genuinely kind & brave person. the push/pull of her understandable fears and the town's genuine desire to embrace her as one of their own is excellently depicted, and it helps illustrate that beneath it all annie really does want to belong.

an interesting parallel is drawn between annie’s journey and that of her nephew tommy. both of them heal in much different ways, and there is some genuine pain when their paths ultimately diverge. but that pain comes with a greater catharsis, and you really get the impression that both of them are getting to where they need to be.

5. bloomburrow, episode 1: calamity comes to valley by valerie valdes

there are few feelings more satisfying than the mixture of excitement & relief that comes from something you're worried you're unsustainably hyped for resoundingly living up to that hype. my anticipation for bloomburrow could defensibly be described as “rabid,” but i was nevertheless underestimating just how much i was going to love this story.

i am simply in awe of how valdes brought this plane to life in a matter of paragraphs. the world immediately feels so lived in, the characters feel so rich & textured. i fell for this plane even harder than i already thought i would. the bloomburrow story is really something special. it tells such a tight, approachable story while just absolutely brimming with flavor and personality. this is just my absolute favorite kind of fantasy storytelling.

4. murders at karlov manor, episode 10: roots of decay by seanan mcguire

i know for a lot of us (myself included) the pendulum on superhero movies has swung pretty decisively towards disinterest. so please understand i mean it in the best possible way when i say kaya fighting her way through everything an enraged worldsoul's avatar could throw at her was straight out of the most dramatic superhero movie climax.

it also has one of my favorite things for a badass action scene to have, and that's an escalating momentum of emotional catharsis. as kaya marches purposefully towards the unbelievably powerful architect of the murders that have shaken an entire plane to its very foundations, and shaken kaya herself on a deeply personal level, and mcguire starts peppering deeply personal callbacks to everyone that's helped her get to this point… seriously y'all, the scene is just sublime. imo it's mildly upsetting that it isn't represented on a card.

and as if that isn't enough, we get teysa's ghost helping her finish the fight, and kaya being too desperate & gay to look and see if it's really her. and then that elegant bitch just making the most perfectly understated entrance to her own damn funeral.

(the first time i read it, this is also the moment that it clicked that killing off teysa actually made shipping them EVEN EASIER, because now teysa is the only living person who can be physically intimate with her, and for whatever reason i just don't think teysa is going to fuck a fellow ghost. i don't have any textual justification for this, it's just a vibe thing.)

3. bloomburrow, episode 2: an expected party by valerie valdes

i would protect helga with my life and i would follow mabel into an actively erupting volcano and fully expect to make it through unscathed thanks to her. so seeing the latter take the former under her wing throughout the course of this set’s story was simply some of the most satisfying character relationship writing you will ever see.

the moment when mabel rallied the people of goodhill to render aid to pondside was such a great fulcrum for this entire set’s story. we learned so much about mabel in this moment, and helga’s genuine shock at having someone believe in her really sets the stage for the aforementioned relationship to blossom.

i’m just so floored by how perfectly the first two episodes introduced this new world and immediately made us care about the characters inhabiting it. bloomburrow might be a “smaller” story than a lot of the other sets this year, but taken as a whole it’s my favorite main set story of the year and it isn’t particularly close.

2. outlaws of thunder junction, epilogue: bring the end, part 1 by alison luhrs

i wouldn't say i was a jace beleren hater before this story, more of a… jace beleren apath? but i fully admit that that’s a Me problem. it was just hard to see the two dudes of the core gatewatch squad as especially interesting considering the three women they shared the spotlight with. but this story made me see everyone’s favorite blue mage emo boy in a whole new light.

jace goes through it in this. and no matter how much i fundamentally disagree with his actions immediately before his compleation as well as his current trajectory… it’s not difficult to see how he arrived there.

luhrs does an incredible job showing a prodigiously powerful mage using every last ounce of strength to overcome something that should have destroyed him (and came within a hair’s breadth of doing so), and anyone who thinks jace & vraska surviving phyresis “cheapens” its effects… just plain didn’t read this story.

1. outlaws of thunder junction, side story: no tells by isaac fellman

this is, quite simply, an all-timer.

the narrative voice pulls you in immediately. my favorite lit professor often referenced ezra pound’s definition of literature (“language changed with meaning to the utmost possible degree”) and one of my favorite things is when genre fiction fits that bill. and this story is absolutely an example of exactly that.

as a transgender fan of magic the gathering, “no tells” was always going to be an enormously important story to me. any time space is made for us in the story of this world it's going to matter to me. but what this has in common with “the truth of names” before it is that it's also just one of the best individual stories ever written in this setting.

very early on i could tell that this one really was going to be something special. i ended up reading the story out loud to partners of mine who don't read mtg story, that's how meaningful it was to me. come for the representation, stay for the profoundly moving ruminations on guilt and forgiveness and whether those concepts even mean anything when you lose something you can't replace.

i leave you with one of the rawest lines i've ever read in a work of fiction: “she smiled a little, and for a moment, it was just like old times, in the way your reflection in a mirror is just like you—you can't hear it or smell it, it's got no warmth, but you feel something anyway.”

simply an incredible year of magic story. thank you so much to all the writers and everyone else who continue to make this world mean so much to so many people. i'll see you across the blind eternities.