#begs for cross-country comparisons but those are complicated

[collapsedsquid]

People on other sites doing the "why is every American presidential election for 30+ years close-run, what happened to blowouts?" and I'm always skeptical when people point to parties choosing candidates and positions around the median voter, I don't believe the parties have the level of control or understanding over the process for that to be the case.

[sollannaart]

Hello, I've scrolled through your blog to make sure, this question wasn't asked before, but it would seem that it wasn't (though I could've missed it). Can I please ask you of prince Poniatowski's attitude towards Napoleon?

No, this question has not been asked yet, and thank you very much for sending it! It will be my please to write a answer to this.

Relationship between prince Józef Poniatowski and the emperor Napoleon Bonapart

I am sorry, this turned out to be a very long read, and on the topic a little bit wider than asked, so I had to specify the title and give the short answer for those who aren’t interested in details.

So in brief - Poniatowski respected Napoleon, but wasn’t a blind worshipper of the emperor. And in situations when in the balance there might have been Napoleon and Poland, and only one thing was to be chosen for prince Józef this one definitely would be his motherland.

Bronisław Gembarzewski, prince Józef and Napoleon

Emperor Napoleon, as all fans of the epoch knows, first arrived to Warsaw in December of 1806. But to start the long-read about relationship between the emperor and the prince properly we need make a step backwards, to understand what these two thought about each other on the moment of their first meeting.

Prince Józef, in comparison with many of his country men, participated in none of general Bonapart’s campaigns. What’s more - when the count of Provence, future king Louis XVIII resided in Warsaw in 1801-1804 he was an often visitor of Poniatowski’s palace. (So it may be said that before 1806 prince Józef was kind of a “royalist”.)

However, with Napoleon’s victory over Prussia and the emperor’s arrival to the former Polish lands chances of Poland rising from the dead skyrocketed! And prince Józef realized that he couldn’t have stayed away any longer, that if he wanted to participate in his motherland reappearing on the map of Europe he had to join the French.

As for Napoleon - in 1806 the emperor of Frenchmen didn’t have any warm feeling towards the nephew of the last king of Poland. One of the reason was that Claude Carloman de Rulhière, with whose book Histoire de l’anarchie de Pologne Napoleon had studied history of lands he was going conquer, wasn’t sympnathising the Poniatowski family. As other reasons there may be named a fact, that that time in French Army there were other Poles, whom the emperor knew better, like generals Jan Henryk Dąbrowski and Józef Zajączek.

Nevertheless, because when leaving Warsaw the Prussians kinda left the city “in charge” of Poniatowski, Napoleon had to meet prince Józef on entering the city. And from the data I was able to find it looks like the first meeting of the emperor and the prince happened on the 19th of December.

Prince Józef with Napoleon during the war campaign - drawing by Wacław Lipiński

With this image I am obliged to make a small digression. Napoleon, as recent investigation show, was not that short as he was thought to be because of English cartoons. Józef Poniatowski, on the other hand, was described by the contemporaries as a man of the middle height. So, in my opinion standing side-by-side these two must have looked like as people of the same height.

With the emperor so prejudiced against prince Józef, you may ask, how did it happen that less than a month later, on the 14th of January 1807, the latter was appointed as a Director of War? (In October of 1807, after the Duchy of Warsaw was created, Poniatowski’s post acquired the name of “Minister of War”.)

The answer is that behind the event there was a long and complicated intrigue, in which were involved such people as Joachim Murat (with whom, as you may remember, prince Józef quickly became friends) and Charles Maurice de Talleyrand, that time Foreign Minister of France. (As for the latter - his protection was asked by Pepi’s sister, Teresa Tyszkiewicz.)

And I can’t help but mention that Poniatowski’s nomination nevertheless had some advantages, because in comparison with his “rivals” he was a representative of the aristocracy, what might have provided support to Napoleon from the Polish high-society.

And speaking of high-society I can’t help touching a rather delicate topic, related with Napoleon’s love life, with which Poniatowski - in comparison with what is thought about him - had nothing to do. Yes, I mean the story of prince Józef (and other Polish dignitaries) supposedly forcing Maria Walewska to give in to the emperor in exchange for “Poland’s resurrection”.

SCREENSHOT FROM THE MOVIE “MARYSIA I NAPOLEON”. From left to right - Zdzisław Makłakiewicz as prince Józef, Gustaw Holoubek as Napoleon, Beata Tyszkiewicz as Maria Walewska, Ignacy Machowski as Duroc, Kazimierz Rudzki as Talleyrand, Juliusz Łuszczewski as Anastazy Walewski

Many people believe in it because it is written in so-called Walewska’s memoirs, but the investigations of Polish historians (like, fir example, Marian Brandys) prove that not everything might have happened like it was described in the memoirs. And prince Poniatowski’s involvement in the story is one of the facts. (The closest connection he might have had with this is that Mme Henriette de Vauban, his mistress, might have tried to influence Mme Walewska. But this is definitely a topic to continue in - if at all - a separate post.

So, let’s return to relationship between Poniatowski and Napoleon.

In 1809 the Duchy of Warsaw was attacked by the Austrians, and the Army of the Duchy showed its combat strength, winning the war and taking back from the enemy a huge a part of former Polish territories. The emperor was impressed by prince Józef’s inferiors’ performance, till such a degree that he awarded the latter with the highest imperial order of merit, the cross of the Legion of Honour.

But this was done “by proxy”, and the next, after year 1807, meeting of these two happened only in 1811 in Paris, where Poniatowski was invited to attend the christening of Napoleon’s son, the king of Rome.

Prince Józef arrived to Paris on the 23rd of April, and in the evening of that very day received an invitation from the emperor to appear next day in Saint Clou. What’s more, Poniatowski’s visit was to be happen at once, without an obliged advance as the ceremony of representation by the Saxon ambassador.

Prince Józef with Napoleon during the ceremonial audience at the Tuileries Palace - drawing by Maria Artwińska

And this is the image I like, because both - the prince and emperor - seem to have there the “correct” height!

Why was Napoleon so eager to see prince Józef? Well, at least because the latter brought with him news, which was dangerous to trust to paper. Namely - about planning Russian invasion of the Duchy and the tsar attempts to persuade the Polish Minister of War to switch sides and join the anti-napoleonic coalition. (Can’t help but mention there that Poniatowski revealed Napoleon mere facts, but not the names of the people communicating with him, in order not to put them in danger.)

And what about christening? Of course, prince Józef participated in the ceremony, and was even allowed to have an audience with the child-king. And, no doubts, there followed other court events, huntings, balls, etc. Old friend, Murat, and Poniatowski’s sister’s love interest, Talleyrand, introduced Pepi to the highest Parisian society. Also Pepi paid a visit to the ex-empress Josephine.

Prince Józef in conversation with Napoleon and the French Minister of Foreign Affairs, Talleyrand - drawing by Andrzej Zarzycki

And though initially prince Józef’s stay in the French capital was planned to be a couple of months, in fact it prolonged to four, till the emperor’s birthday. And leaving finally on the 27th of August Poniatowski received as a farewell gift a beautiful snuffbox planted with diamonds and a loan to… pay the debts of his sister Teresa.

And then there came the year 1812. Prince Józef was made the commander of the 5th Corps of the Grande Armée, and with the rest of the Army went to Russia.

However, above “The Polish corps” there was a commander not very competent and lucky, emperor’s younger brother Jérôme. And when it happened that the Russian Army under general Bagration managed to escape from the “second center” corps led by Jérôme, Napoleon blamed on this... prince Józef. 

In the battle of Smolensk, however, the Vth Corps managed to distinguish to such a degree, that together with its commander it was mentioned in a bulletin of the Grande Armée.

Jean-Charles Langlois, The Battle of Smolensk, 17th August 1812, detail

But after that battle there happened a very dramatic scene between the prince and the emperor. Because, as you might know, the city of Smolensk was the most eastern town ever belonged to Poland. So, if Napoleon’s goal was, as it had been proclaimed in the beginning of the war, to restore Poland, the Grande Armée should have stopped there, at Smolensk. Not to go further east.

And Poniatowski, as a witness of the scene, count Ostrowski, recalled, “begged Napoleon on his knees if not to direct the whole French Army to the south, to the former Polish lands, then at least to separated the Polish corps and send it along the Dnieper river, in the direction of Kiev...”

But emperor was implacable. 

What happened next we all know. The battle of Moscow, fire, retreat…

In December Napoleon left his army and speeded to Paris. Prince Józef returned to Warsaw, to rebuild “the Polish corps”, to reenforce the people left with new conscripts and to be ready to join with these people the emperor. When the latter comes with fresh forces, to fight the coalition back.

But the emperor of French didn’t hurry to return to the East of Europe. Failing to wait him Poniatowski had to leave Warsaw, going with his soldiers to Kraków. And was waiting here, for almost three month.

To no avail.

At the beginning of May all the territory of the Duchy of Warsaw, except Kraków, was occupied by Russians. A lot of Polish officers, acquaintances and even friends of prince Józef, resigned from the army. A lot of them were persuading the Polish commander-in-chief to follow, to join the anti-napoleonic coalition.

And… well, here I can’t write that Poniatowski rejected these propositions, all and at once. No, he was listening, thinking over… Asking for terms and thoroughly pondering on what would have been better for his motherland - to stay with France or not.

And on the night from the 6th to the 7th of May, on the eve of his 50th birthday the decision was made.

Prince Józef sees “the White Lady of the Poniatowski Family” on the night on 6/7 May 1813 in Krakow (drawing by Ludomir Ilinicz)

Having obtained no written guaranties from the other side, feeling that unconditional surrender - the only thing they were ready to accept from him - was not compatible with the soldier honor, the Polish Bayard decided to stay with Napoleon.

Although to make such a decision was for prince Józef extremely hard (especially if to take into account that he still had not got clear instructions from the emperor what to do). As Poniatowski confided next day to one of his colleagues that night thinking was so difficult to him that he even thought about shooting himself. Twice.

What is not proved - so this fact still stays a kind of legend - that that night prince Józef saw a ghost, the famous “White lady of Poniatowski family”. The fantom that was said to announce with its appearance very bad things to come…

And in 5 month there came… the battle of Leipzig.

Jean-Charles Langlois, The Battle of Leipzig (?)

This image is often signed as „the battle of Leipzig” though judging by the emperor’s, the prince’s and their horses’ poses I suppose it might be another version of “the battle of Smolensk”.

Of course, before Leipzig there was truce, then the battle of Dresden, then retreat and preparations. And in the beginning of the battle there was a moment when French victory still looked possible. But soon it turned out that it was an illusion.

And then the emperor… named general Poniatowski a marshal of France. Thus making him the only foreigner among that cream of French military elite.

Prince Józef Poniatowski receives the marshal baton, French engraving from the XIXth century

How did Poniatowski react to such a promotion? Did he become happy? Or, at least, glad?

No, not at all. (It looks like he felt that this appointment has more with his future attachment to France, than with military achievements.)

So prince Józef continued to call himself a general, sign documents according his old position. Furthermore, in the written explanation that Poniatowski sent to Warsaw it was stated that “if there was not war for Poland, no one would ever see him in uniform”. Which literally meant resignation. (In the very same letter, though, prince Józef announced that before leaving the army he had to escort Napoleon back to Paris.)

So, dear friends, who was interested in what might have happened with prince Józef had he not been killed at Leipzig - this is the answer. He would definitely retreat with Napoleon to Paris, than resigned and… here the certainty is a little bit less, but something tells me that he would have preferred exile to going back home. But I am not one hundred percent sure.

January Suchodolski, Napoleon and Józef Antoni Poniatowski at the Battle of Leipzig

And what about Napoleon? In his memories dictated on St. Helene he wrote that he should have made prince Józef the king of Poland (ha-ha, what would he have done if the latter rejected the crown?), regretted not doing this.

But what is, in my opinion, more interesting, is to learn what the ex-emperor thought on other Poniatowski-related topics? Did he regret blaming prince Józef for Jerome’s mistakes? Had he doubts on not listening the Polish commander’s pleas to take back former Polish land instead of going to Moscow?

Alas, I am afraid, this is a thing we’ll never know…

[zamancollective]

Pan-What? / The Political Legacy of Defining Ethnicity in the Middle East

By Kyle Newman

For well over a millennium, southwestern Asia and North Africa have been regions characterized by ethnic diversity in every sense of the term. Centuries of cultural exchange between various empires that have ruled over Western Asia and the Iranian Plateau accompanied admixture between what once were isolated ethnic pockets in the region, creating a complex gene pool that is often difficult to categorize (as we explored in the last article of this two-part series on Middle Eastern ethnic identity). As tribalism was increasingly eclipsed by other sociological trends in the region, the concept of ethnic identity (although an extremely abstract one) has come to serve as a tool for rousing political or ideological fervor over time. The potential of such movements to foster unity is often just as strong as their potential to be weaponized, which is more than enough reason to analyze the effects of politicizing ethnic affiliations.

In modern history, one of the first attempts at establishing an ethnicity-based ideological current in the Middle East was the movement of Pan-Arabism. With Ottoman rule still presiding over much of the Levant, the Arabian Peninsula, and the Maghreb in the late 19th century, many prominent Arab intellectuals and scholars were concerned about the proliferation of Turkic language and culture throughout the region and its potential to overshadow Arab cultures and dialects  in both religious and secular spheres of society. Two of the most prominent Pan-Arab thinkers were Jurji Zaydan and Sharif Hussein Ibn Ali. Zaydan advocated for the standardization of the Arabic language based on Quranic Arabic, seeking to unite Arab peoples who spoke regional dialects and encourage mutual intelligibility. Fuṣḥá (Modern Standard Arabic) was partially created in an effort to foster a sort of broader ethnic solidarity between Arab peoples from North Africa to the coast of the Persian Gulf, irrespective of more specific religious or tribal tensions. Ibn Ali, who was the Sharif of Mecca at the time, felt increasingly drawn to the idea of an Arab national consciousness that had been espoused by Zaydan and other thinkers, eventually making concrete efforts to create a unified Arab state encompassing most territories with Arab ethnic majorities in southwestern Asia and North Africa. At the height of World War I, Sharif formed an alliance with government officials in the United Kingdom at the height of World War I in order to ensure inhabitants of the Arabian Peninsula that a unified Arab state could be created if there were to be a successful revolt against the Ottomans. Although the United Kingdom and the Allied Powers defeated the Ottoman Empire and Germany in World War I, Britain could not guarantee to Sharif the creation of a unified Arab state in the Arabian Peninsula due to land allocations outlined in the Sykes-Picot agreement. 

The Arab state envisioned by Sharif and Pan-Arab intellectuals never came into fruition, but the nationalistic fervor they espoused among Arabs based on shared ethnic and linguistic ties helped fuel resentment against the Ottomans, whom Arab rebels eventually defeated. Pan-Arabism went on to be a core tenant of anti-imperialist movements that helped foster autonomy and independence across the region. Unfortunately, however, movements like the Ba’athist party in Syria and Egypt or Rashid Al-Gaylani’s National Brotherhood Party were responsible for the persecution of ethnoreligious minorities like Jews and Kurds under the guise of Pan-Arabism. For instance, anti-imperialist Arab nationalist sentiments were weaponized as a rallying cry against Mizrahi Jews, who were eventually expelled from their homes Iraq, Syria, and surrounding nations in the years framing Israel’s War of Independence.

It is not surprising that Southwest Asia, being a region with such complicated notions of ethnic identity due to its genetic and cultural diversity, saw the development of multiple nationalist movements and efforts to create ethnic solidarity among non-Arab peoples. In fact, the Pan-Turkic movement, a movement whose beginnings much resembled those of Pan-Arab thought, was arguably the first modern form of ethnonationalism to appear in Southwest Asia. In the mid 19th century, Islamic Tatar theologians and intellectuals living in the Russian empire established the Jadid movement. The name Jadid, meaning “new” in Arabic, very well reflects the ethos behind the nation that these Turkic intellectuals sought to create: a state unifying all of the ethnically Turkic pockets of Eurasia which would observe a semi-secularized version of the Islamic faith and embrace cultural Westernization. As nationalistic fervor grew in Europe throughout the late 19th century, the Ottoman Empire followed this trend, as well. The Young Turks, a political reform movement in Turkey that sought to overthrow Ottoman Sultan Abdul Hamid II and bring constitutional governance to Turkey, succeeded in its efforts and popularized the idea of Pan-Turkism among the Ottoman public through the Committee of Union and Progress. Turkic peoples living outside of the Ottoman empire started immigrating in modest numbers to the Ottoman empire with the hope of being accepted by a government that strongly advocated ethnic Turkish unity. Despite the seemingly positive connotations of ideas like self-determination and unification in the name of common lineage, Pan-Turkism is a testament to the ever-present danger of pursuing such an endeavor without a sense of inclusivity and tolerance for ethnic variation within a state. The Pan-Turkic movement, engendering a limitless rise in Turkish nationalism in the early 20th century, led almost directly to the horrors of the Armenian genocide, which were undertaken in the name of “purifying” the state of non-Turkic inhabitants. This fact begs us to more carefully contemplate the further implications and moral dangers of calls for ethnic unity and solidarity, and where to draw the line between peaceful unification and violently exclusionary hatred for the other.

The last prominent ethnonationalist movement to arise in the Middle East was the Pan-Iranist movement. After the collapse of the Qajar dynasty in 1925 in Persia, Iranian intellectuals, socialists, and nationalists all wished for the creation of a democratic state in present-day Iran. Reza Shah Pahlavi’s subsequent seizure of power added fuel to the fire of resentment among teachers and intellectuals who hoped for democracy with territorial integrity. During the British and Soviet invasions of Iran during World War II, student demonstrations decrying the Shah’s tolerance of foreign interference and advocating for unity among Iran’s indigenous inhabitants increased. At first, nationalistic fervor of those involved in the grass-roots pan-Iranist movement saw a different trajectory than Pan-Turkism; people who wished to see an Iranian nation that encompassed all of the Iranian plateau and its surrounding plains often included a wider roster of Iranic peoples in their political advocacy, blurring the lines of absolutist ethnicity-based unification. Of course, a degree of ethnically Persian hegemony and simplification persisted, but earlier Pan-Iranist protests were much less characterized by the violent hatred of minority groups like Assyrians or Armenians in comparison to the sentiments found at nationalist rallies in Turkey. Eventually, the movement for ethnic solidarity among Iranian peoples in a single large nation led to the establishment of the Pan-Iranist party in Iranian parliament during the reign of Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, with the party being led by Mohsen Pezeshkpour and Dariush Forouhar. Although efforts to cooperate with the Pahlavi dynasty to bring Pan-Iranist ambitions to fruition never succeeded, this movement is yet another example of how an increasing sense of awareness for ethnic identity in the Middle East had a notable impact on national consciousness.

However, the most observable legacy of Pan-Iranism did take on a more exclusionary character than the aforementioned protests- and this legacy is found in the word “Iran,” the modern name for the country. Reza Shah Pahlavi, being a Nazi sympathizer at the height of World War II, replaced the name “Persia” with the name “Iran” as suggested by the Nazi pseudoscientist Hans F.K. Günther. Günther claimed that the people of Iran were supposedly “pure-blooded Aryans,” being descendants of the ancient Aryan tribes from the Russian Steppes region - believing (quite reductively, to say the least) that the name “Iran,” literally translating to “Land of the Aryans” in Persian, would be appropriate for the country. Pahlavi’s decision foreshadowed the persecution of Iranian minority groups, such as Jews, that became increasingly violent in the years leading up to the Islamic revolution.

When examining the details of such controversial and large scale movements as Middle Eastern ethnonationalisms, it is always appropriate to investigate their overall purpose and credibility. Digging deeper into this issue and drawing upon the history of ethnic distinction as a phenomenon in southwestern Asia, it is important to ask ourselves what ethnic solidarity in the Middle East even is to begin with, when the entire region is a vibrant, dynamic tapestry of intersecting histories, tribal affiliations, religious ideologies, and cross-cultural interactions. The complex reality of Middle-Eastern demographics greatly contrasts the homogeneity bastioned by any ethnonationalist movement. Of course, in contemplating the idea of ethnic solidarity we cannot forget the post World War I Wilsonian doctrine of Self-Determination that brought independence and joy to many ethnic minorities previously living under the rule of larger umbrella empires. Thus, despite the belligerence of nationalism, the question of ethnically unifying movements’ mutual exclusivity (or possible compatibility) with tolerance is at times difficult to answer. What is certain, however, is that the nuances inherently embedded in the discussion of ethnic identity will only increase as globalization intensifies the pace of diversification around the world.

References

Electricpulp.com. “Encyclopædia Iranica.” RSS, www.iranicaonline.org/articles/fars-iv.

Electricpulp.com. “Encyclopædia Iranica.” RSS, www.iranicaonline.org/articles/iranian-identity-iv-19th-20th-centuries.

"Pan-Turkism.". “Pan-Turkism.” New Dictionary of the History of Ideas, Encyclopedia.com, 2019, www.encyclopedia.com/history/asia-and-africa/middle-eastern-history/pan-turkism.

Reiser, Stewart. “Pan-Arabism Revisited.” Vol. 37, no. 2, 1983, pp. 218–233. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/4326563. Accessed 20 June 2019.

United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/iran-during-world-war-ii.

[jmsa1287]

'American Vandal' Kills the Joke in its Second Season

Hi I wrote about the second season of “American Vandal” which is a disappointment, considering how delightful and brilliant Season 1 is.

It's nearly impossible to recapture lightning in a bottle.

The investigative podcast "Serial" became a phenomenon when it debuted in late 2014. Exploring the 1999 murder of Hae Min Lee, the "This American Life" spinoff got so big, it gave a boom to the podcast industry as well as sparking a true crime wave on TV. Shortly after, two true crime series - HBO's "The Jinx" and Netflix's "Making a Murderer" - became huge cultural lightning rods and over the last few years, we've been hit with a deluge of true crime series on the small screen. It's no surprise that we eventually got the true crime parody series "American Vandal" last year.

"American Vandal" has more in common with "Serial" than the "true crime" genre. Almost a year after its first season, "Serial" returned with a highly anticipated follow up. This time, host and producer Sarah Koenig focused on Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl, an American Army soldier who was held captive for five years by the Taliban and later charged with desertion. Though it was a story that made national headlines - unlike the small murder case that Season 1 centered on - the enthusiasm around the podcast's second effort was definitely muted, proving Season 1 was a once-in-a-lifetime sensation.

Blending lowbrow humor with the sophistication of this new wave of true crime, the first season of "American Vandal" was a surprise hit for Netflix and went on to win a Peabody Award. The premise is simple: Two high students - Peter Maldonado (Tyler Alvarez) and Sam Ecklund (Griffin Gluck) - investigate a costly prank where someone spray-painted 27 penises on the faculty's cars. The mockumentary centered on the alleged culprit, burnout senior "class clown" Dylan Maxwell (Jimmy Tatro in a breakout role).

With just eight, half-hour length episodes, "American Vandal" Season 1 was a delight. It brilliantly spoofed new true crime shows with overdramatic drone shots, complicated timeline breakdowns, and in-depth analysis on the way people draw penises. The comedy perfectly walked the tightrope between ridiculousness and mystery. Unfortunately, "American Vandal" Season 2, which hits Netflix on Friday, pales in comparison in almost every way to its first installment. The show follows the same format - nearly to a tee - and nearly kills the joke that made Season 1 a success.

"American Vandal" - the show within the show that Peter and Sam created and released online - became so popular, the duo are hit with thousands of emails from students around the country, begging them to help catch those behind pranks plaguing their school. The teens finally answer a message by a student from St. Bernardine, a ritzy private Catholic high school in Bellevue, Washington and travel there to crack the case and film it as part of their senior project.

They learn about a recent incident that occurred at the school called "The Brown Out." The heinous act was carried out by an anonymous culprit who bills himself as "The Turd Burglar." The Turd Burglar, ostensibly a student at the school, is said to have spiked the school's popular lemonade dispenser during lunchtime with an uber-strong laxative, sparking a large number of students at the school to suddenly and literally shit their pants. With bathrooms quickly being occupied, several students were forced to relieve themselves anywhere they can, completely humiliating them. The moment, recorded by cellphone-carrying students, is nauseating, stressful and hilarious. And it turns out it's not The Turd Burglar's only prank. With only an Instagram account, the crappy criminal pulls off a few other poop related pranks all while taunting the school and a handful of select students via social media.

Like in Season 1, "American Vandal" has another possibly falsely accused suspect at the center of Season 2: Much of Peter and Sam's sleuthing is focused on whether or not Kevin McClain (Travis Tope), a very specific type of high school weirdo (think a theater geek crossed with a 4Chan basement nerd), is The Turd Burglar. Kevin confessed to pulling off The Brown Out but things quickly get complicated. Much of Season 2 hinges on Kevin but Tope is no Tatro. The absence of Tatro's Dylan is a huge hole in the season and, despite starting off solidly, "American Vandal" struggles to find its footing and never captures the same kind of Season 1 magic. That's not to say Tope is bad here - he's a committed young actor, completely embodying Kevin and his tea-huffing freakishness. Season 2 falters mostly because it feels like a lesser carbon copy of Season 1.

The show also does not flesh out the characters around Kevin, making Season 2 feel like a one-dimensional world - the complete opposite of the fully realized Season 1. Besides Kevin, the only other character "American Vandal" successfully creates is DeMarcus Tillman (Melvin Gregg), St. Bernardine's top basketball player and an all-around popular guy. Like Dylan and Kevin, DeMarcus is a hilarious archetype that gets skewered and Gregg's great performance only enhances bringing DeMarcus to life. Kevin and DeMarcus are fun characters but it's not enough and it's hard to latch onto any of the characters in Season 2, including Peter and Sam who have very little development this time around. (Those who watched Season 1 will remember the surprising rift between the friends.) With flat characters, it's hard to care about the (overly complicated and twisty) pranks at play.

Like Season 1, "American Vandal" Season 2 also has just eight, half-hour episodes, all of which were made available for review. It's a digestible format and a near-perfect time length - you never have to worry that the comedy will outstay its welcome. Even so, Season 2 is a disappointing return, lacking the compelling tone that made Season 1 a fantastic watch. "American Vandal" Season 2 proves you can't trade dicks for poop; there's an art behind even the dumbest jokes.

[thearrangment-phff]

XIX. So Many Questions

December 2017

Telling her family that she was going to marry Harry had to be in most awkward position Isabella had been in since she had her first real encounter with an English boy at the Kent boarding school she was sent to. She was still learning English and it wasn't too good. Didn't help that at that moment she had a strong mixed accent of French and German that to took a while for others to understand.

When Harry had announced that they were marrying the area went quiet for a second, only to immediately break out in whispers and small talk. They spoke different languages, none English, so Harry was let out of the loop. He watched as her family argued and couldn't make out a single word they were saying. The mad expressions and rasied voices told him enough.

Jean spoke Luxembourgish to his son Henri and daughter Marie Astrid. The Liechtenstein family spoke German. Isabella's Nassau cousins spoke a mixture of French and German. Amedeo swore in Dutch only because no one else in Isabella's family knew Dutch. Isabella herself only knew because Amedeo's older siblings Joachim and Maria Laura had attempted to teach her when they were in Kent but failed. The Luxembourg cousins spoke a mixture of French and Luxembourgish which confused Harry even more.  

Isabella was talking to the two Liechtenstein Princesses, Marie Astrid and Maria Annunciata, in German explaining what happened. Marie Astrid was more concerned with the ring than anything else. Josef had begun a conversation with their Nassau cousins, switching to French to better communicate with them.  

Since there was no English, Harry was forced to remain in the background not knowing what people were saying. That was the hardest part. Not knowing what they were saying. It was then that he knew he had to follow through with his plans to learn another language. He would learn French. Maybe a little bit of German if he could master French fast enough. It would solve the language barrier between he and Isabella's family and maybe he wouldn't feel so unimportant amongst the large group of people.

Amongst the small chaos, Jean had walked up to Harry with an occasional limp because he left his cane near his chair. The distance was short but Harry didn't want the aging man to push himself so he closed the gap between them by walking to him.

"Don't let them scare you. A big family like this have more blessings than anything else," assured Jean.

"What about your thoughts?"

"My thoughts shouldn't matter in this union between my granddaughter and yourself. Though I wouldn't mind gaining another great-grandchild, I already have 10 and another on the way."

"Someone is pregnant?"

"Yes. Belle's brother Christoph and his wife Adelaide are expecting their second child. My hope is it's a girl, but a boy will bring blessings all the same. Perhaps you and Belle could give me number twelve by next Christmas," smiled Jean.

"I haven't even talked to her brothers. I'm marrying their sister and I haven't even sat down and talked to them," panicked Harry as his eyes went to Isabella's uncles Guillaume and Jean talking with Isabella's siblings.

"Those boys have a gentle soul. As long as you love their sister, they would never object to such a happy union," declared Jean.

Harry didn't have anything to say to that, but what could he say? Jean thought they were real. Harry's grandmother had only 5 great-grandchildren and Jean had double than her. He expected Harry and Isabella to marry and have children. All of Jean's children married and had children of their own with a minimum of four kids.

If his state of panic wasn't already high, the thought of children once again, made things worse. Those children would become so real one day. Isabella expressed her want for kids, and Harry had been saying for years that he would love to have children as well.  

They had almost half a year to get to know each other, and though they had, the feelings between them were simply friendly. It was more likely going to stay that way for years to come.  

"Should I have sat down with them?" Asked Harry.

"When I married my wife Josephine Charlotte, I sat down with her parents more than I intended. Same as you with Isabella's parents. I knew her brothers very well, but I never sat down with them and talked about marrying their sister," said Jean.

"How did you and your wife meet?"

Jean gave Harry a smile at the faint memories of his wife flashed in his mind, "We crossed paths for years as we were both children of monarchs. Our marriage was politically motivated. I won't lie about that, but it was a loving match. By marrying a Belgium princess, I elevated the standing of the Luxembourg Grand Ducal Court as my own father, Prince Felix of Bourbon-Parma, had when he married my mother," explained Jean.

"How did you father elevate Luxembourg?"

"Before my father, my mother was styled Her Grand Ducal Highness, which is below Her Royal Highness. My father had a stronger bloodline with that of Spain, Portugal, and Orleans, and though the Duchy of Parma no longer existed it was his wife Infanta Maria Antonia of Portugal who helped given her children dynastic marriages. My parents were first cousins."

"I didn't know that."

"Yes, well, first cousin marriages are now frowned upon. My grandmothers were sisters as the children of the brief King Miguel of Portugal. When my parents married it became complicated. My mother was going to be the monarch, and my father her consort. Though he wasn't angry that the House of Bourbon-Parma wouldn't rule the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg," smiled Jean.

"My grandparents went through a similar thing when they married. In the end, my grandfather gave up his titles, citizenship, and everything for love," added Harry.

"My parents' marriage was set us by their mothers. Not an arranged marriage, but not one completely of love before the wedding day. A marriage of convenience if you would call it that. My father neither relinquished his titles or adopted my mothers. They simply merged. Had your grandfather not had strong German ties perhaps that would have been a similar response," claimed Jean.

"Do you believe my marriage will be one of convenience?"

"So many questions," smiled Jean. "Of course, your marriage is one of convenience. Every marries because it suits them one way or the other. A marriage between you and Belle is more beneficial for you."

"Wait-" before Harry could continue Jean had begun to walk away from him.

Jean was probably one of the few who liked Harry in Isabella's family. When Jean had returned to his chair with the cane in his hands, Harry was once again left alone as Isabella's family continued talking. After several minutes of Isabella walking around, talking with her family, and showing around the ring Harry finally joined her.

There was little to say since no one bothered to speak English, even with Harry's obvious presence. He recognized some French when Isabella was talking to come of her younger cousins who were as tall as Harry. He knew that the girl's name was Charlotte and he could never forget that name because it was also his niece's name.

Harry stood next to Isabella as she continued her conversation. Once she was done talking her younger relatives left the two of them alone. Isabella grabbed onto his hand leading them into a part of the area that wasn't being occupied. She had grabbed onto his left hand and placed it on her hip while she grabbed the other and put it on her neck.

As Isabella looked up at Harry he noticed the know bright smile on her face which was a change from the panic mode just an hour or two earlier.

"Did they take things well?" Asked Harry.

"A lot! Not all but more than I was expecting. Even if they didn't want to show they were against our marriage, they all congratulated me."

"Please tell me your brothers don't hate me," begged Harry as Isabella let out a nervous laugh. "God your family hates me so much."

Isabella moved Harry's hand away from her neck and shoulder area to her hip as she, in turn, put her arms around Harry's waist, "They don't hate you. They just don't know you too well. They've never really gotten to know you or your family that’s all."

"On another topic for right now, why is Joachim still here?" Asked Harry as Isabella pinched his side. "What was that for?!"

"Don't be mean to Joachim. He's taking Wenceslas and Constantin back with him to Belgium and they're going to hang out with his brother Amedeo. He recently had a baby girl with his wife Elisabetta and I think they would love some adult company. I'm not sure if Christoph, Adelaide, and Josef are going but it would a big surprise if they're not," answered Isabella before getting a little off topic.

"When we marry is that going to be our life?"

"What do you mean?" Replied Isabella.

"Going from country to country to celebrate Christmas and birthdays," clarified Harry.

"Of course, it is. That's the whole point of marrying me, isn't it? My connections. We will attend weddings, birthday celebrations, and christenings. That's always been my life and now it will be yours too. They're my family so of course I would try and go to everything I can. I'm blessed with such an amazing, large family, and I would never take them for granted. I want to be able to be with them whenever I can," stated Isabella.

Though he also had a loving family it was then Harry confirmed that he and Isabella had grown up in different worlds despite being so similar. Her family was spread across several countries and spoke several languages. Harry's family really only spoke English and they all lived in England. All the comparisons of their two lives were more prominent than ever in Harry's mind.

Harry's parents divorced. Isabella's parents had been married for almost 40 years. Harry only had one brother. Isabella had two sisters and three brothers. He spent his life surrounded by press and shielded as best as his family could from the world. While he spent his formattable years partying then finally going into the Royal Army, Isabella spent hers going to a great university then working for the United Nations. 

Even when his mother died, Harry maintained a close relationship with his mother's family though nothing could compare to the bond Isabella had with her maternal family. He only met a handful of her Archduke and Duchess family at her birthday celebrations and they seemed close as ever, he couldn't even imagine meeting the rest.  

"I just want your family to like me," confessed Harry.

"What?"

"I want your family to like me," repeated Harry.

"They do like you. Even if they don't, we are still getting married, and they will have to deal with your tall ginger ass at every family event until death does us part. Though if I die first you might still be invited because of our kids," smiled Isabella.

"Our kids. I think about them more and more. What would you name them?"

"Charles after both are fathers. Albert for another boy. I like the names Felix and Robert though I don't know if they would be first names. Mary Astrid for a girl to honor my mother and great-grandmother. Josephine-Charlotte for a second born to honor my grandmother as well. Maybe an Eleanor or Elisabeth. What about you?"

"I haven't really thought about it since I met you. I think Charles to honor both of our fathers would be nice. I don't know how I feel about Albert. Felix and Robert may be too much of your family than mine. Mary Astrid would be a nice name for our daughter," smiled Harry.

"We may be happy," laughed Isabella as Harry nodded

[wayneooverton]

9 ways hiking in New Zealand will change your life

It’s no secret that New Zealand is a hiking mecca. With the world-renowned fiords, ancient rainforests and even more ancient birds, with towering mountains that will blow you away, and impossibly complicated braided riverbeds, a quaint and classic backcountry hut system and some of the hardest and kindest people on the planet, hiking in New Zealand is guaranteed to be a life-changer for most who are ready to hit her trails. 

While it may sound cliche these days to say that we head back to nature to get off the grid to find ourselves, it’s because it actually still rings true, especially here in New Zealand.

One of the last pristine wilderness’ in the world, with views that defy imagination and make every grunty climb and long days on your feet worth it, New Zealand hiking pretty much guarantees at least one moment that will have a profound and positive impact on you, if not many.

Here are nine ways in which hiking in New Zealand will change your life. Enjoy!

New Zealand adventure tours with Active Adventures!

1. You’ll learn humility while challenging yourself

These mountains are hard and unforgiving. New Zealand hiking is unlike anywhere else in the world. The mountains are steep, the switchbacks are minimal, and the terrain is challenging. Forget everything you thought you knew about the outdoors and prepare for a re-education. 

The razor sharp native plants will draw blood if you find yourself in the bush, the crumbling schist rock will make you question your every step, the unrelenting sun will make you thirst for shade on the exposed alpine ridges. You’ll fail over and over again. You’ll trip and stumble. You’ll find yourself lost even though you were sure of the trail. You’ll constantly second guess your abilities. But in the end, you’ll succeed no matter what.

With New Zealand hiking, you succeed when you get out of your comfort zone and push yourself to try new things. These mountains will beat the arrogance out of you and will demand your full attention and respect. You’ll come out a better person for it, trust me.

One of my favorite challenging hikes you also get to do on a Tui tour with Active Adventures is to Lake Crucible in Wanaka. Demanding but fun, challenging but rewarding, it’s full of all my favorite types of hikes, like multiple river crossings, beech forest climbs, alpine scrambles and an incredible glacial lake at the top that begs you to jump on in.

And pretty much everywhere you go makes all the suffering, makes the challenge worth it. Accomplishing something hard and doing something beyond your expectations often is one of the most fulfilling ways to travel, at least for me.  It wouldn’t taste as sweet or be anywhere near as memorable if it were easy, right?

One of the best ways to experience New Zealand’s nature is on a guided hiking trip around the country with Active Adventures. You still get to challenge yourself but you’ll be with local guides who can teach much more than you’d find out on your own and also have the planning and logistics sorted for you, freeing up your time to focus on the adventure itself.

Come hiking in New Zealand

2. You’ll gain perspective and reflect on how small you are

New Zealand’s mountains are BIG. So big it’s almost hard to fathom how dramatic the peaks are rising from the flat valleys below until you’re there in person, staring up in awe and then once again when you’re at the top looking down. You’ll need to be pinched a few times before you can fully understand this is actually real life and not some fancy CGI generated mountain landscapes.

It’s no surprise once you’re here that this dramatic land gave birth to Sir Edmund Hillary, the first person to tackle Everest.

It only takes one summit, one valley, one massive flowing river to understand how big the world is and how small you are in comparison. Climb a mountain and gaze down at the minuscule valley below, the same valley floor that seemed infinite and vast only a few hours before. Suddenly your daily annoyances, your tiny struggles, and your nagging stress seem to melt away and nothing seems important enough to shake your sense of happiness and calm.

There is nothing quite so beautiful as standing small amongst giants in the wilderness.

3. You’ll be forced to be present

I’m no saint.

At times, I am guilty of being glued to my phone, unable to avoid my email, constantly checking social media over and over and over again. It’s so easy to get caught up in a virtual world while the one you’re actually living in passes you by.  If you blink, you might miss it.

What a mistake it is to live your life online and neglect the one that’s right outside your door.

Being in the hills forces you to disconnect both mentally and physically since there is rarely reception in the backcountry in New Zealand. After a while in nature, you’ll find yourself no longer impulsively grabbing your phone, opening apps without even realizing it, checking for notifications (and well, you can’t here because most of national parks don’t have even reception – thankfully).

You’ll stop caring about what’s going on in the virtual world and start being fully present in the world you’re in. You’ll start to notice little things like the smell of the grass and the call of the birds. You’ll feel time slow down. You’ll feel every minute of the day.

When you return from the mountains, you’ll return to your phone and and your emails but you’ll be a little more present and a little more grounded than before.

4. You’ll meet the crazies who make up New Zealand outdoor community

New Zealand is full of crazy people (of the good variety).

Just when you think you’ve really accomplished something by pushing yourself and hiking up a giant mountain, you’ll come across someone who has done the same thing only in roller-skates and in half the time with no water breaks. Every hike I go on and at every hut I stay in, I’m introduced to a new crazy person who has does something that is equal parts utterly insane and supremely inspiring.

You’ll meet the man who has hiked every peak barefoot, the cancer survivor who’s run a mountain marathon every day in a row for a month, or the woman who slings her 14 month old child on the front pack and the gear on the back and charges up the mountain. Or the guy that hikes to huts with sheet music and an accordion to serenade everyone in the evening. 

Each crazy you meet will change your perception on normal just a little until you realize there is no such thing as normal. You realize at the end of the day, the mountains and huts are just manifestations of all the crazy passion that fuels New Zealand’s mountain culture.

If you join in on a guided hiking tour of New Zealand, you’ll be guaranteed to meet like-minded folks and sharing life-changing experiences with them that often lead to life long friendships.

5. You’ll learn to pack light and strip down to the necessities

Have I mentioned that New Zealand’s hills are steep?

If you go for a jaunt up the mountains be prepared to get your sweat on and work hard. It only takes overpacking your bags once to learn the value of your things. You’ll stop carrying all those little extras you “might” need and strip down to the essentials. Why did I bring shampoo again?

Do you really need those extra three camera lenses? Do you really need those extra few layers of cotton long sleeves?

You’ll quickly learn to value light, moisture-wicking layers and merino that will replace your bulky and heavier items. You’ll stop carrying three liters of water and learn to locate drinkable water sources on the trail. Once you learn you have to carry everything you bring, you’ll decide what’s important in your pack.

5 Things to Know before Hiking in New Zealand

6. You’ll learn to accept responsibility

We live in a culture that often fosters a society that discourages us from accepting responsibility.

We require our coffee cups to tell us contents are hot. We need hi-viz signs to warn us about wet floors. We look for orange signs for every dip, divot or abnormality in our roads. It’s easy to blame others for mistakes that are often a direct product of our own inattention and negligence. It’s convenient to adopt the notion that our own safety is somehow someone else’s responsibility.

Even on New Zealand’s easiest trails, things can go wrong.

One misstep can lead to a twisted ankle. A quick daydream can have you flat on your ass. You can blame the sneaky tree root or the steep slopes all you want but at the end of the day, you’ll know that no one but you was responsible for your own safety. You’re bound to make mistakes but New Zealand’s mountains will make you tough and soon you’ll realize that no one but you is going to get you off the mountain top.

You’ll learn to make smart decisions, set turn-around times, and back down when things get out of control. There is no self-education quite like that of Mother Nature here.

7. You’ll learn to say YES!

New Zealand’s mountains are addicting. It will only take one hike to get you hooked. New Zealand seems to be one of the only places in the world that gets under people’s skin enough that they come back again and again. 

It’s wild and diverse, each region a completely different world, you can do coastal hikes, rainforest hikes, mountain climbs and even scurry up volcanoes. There’s something for everyone here.

With it’s awe-inspiring beauty and relatively easily accessed nature right on your doorstep, you’ll find yourself often transitioning from being a person that might be hesitant to challenge yourself or try new things to being the first person to jump off a cliff into a lake. After all, New Zealand is the country that invented bungy jumping.

You’ll conquer a few mountains and push yourself a little further than you thought you could go and suddenly, you’re filled with confidence. You’ll find yourself saying yes to more adventures, even the ones that seem a bit bigger and harder than you thought you were capable of.

Start your adventure off her by saying yes to it all!

New Zealand adventure tours with Active Adventures!

8. You’ll appreciate your surroundings

Being surrounded by a big bowl of juicy mountains will undoubtedly spark fierce loyalty deep down inside of you. You’ll soon be willing to do anything to protect the spaces that bring you to life.

Perhaps you’ll finally look into that whole climate change thing. Maybe you’ll start thinking of the status of native species around you. Maybe you’ll be inspired by the impossibly blue rivers and wonder how we can make every river in the world look that color. It might even be as small as just picking up a bit of trash every time you go for a walk outside. Who knows!

Being face to face with nature will have you appreciating the things you maybe once took for granted. 

I grew up in urban America, surrounded by a concrete jungle of malls and supermarkets and cinemas, with rivers you wouldn’t put a toe into and parks that were often trashed. It wasn’t until I moved to New Zealand that I realized how much I loved these incredible landscapes and how much we need to protect them for the future.

9. You’ll learn the struggle is always worth it in the end

Nothing tastes quite so sweet as victory over something that was really hard and you perhaps didn’t think you were able to do. Am I right?

It’s a fact that the views from a mountain top are way more rewarding to a hiker than a helicopter passenger. It’s easy to question why you’re putting yourself through the torture of walking up a mountain but that feeling always dissipates when you get to the top and get a majestic sweeping panorama. Things may not always go according to plan but it’s always worth it in the end.

How many people do a hike and regret it later? None that I know of. Even on the hardest hike I’ve ever done, climbing Mt. Taranaki here, I don’t regret it and I’d do it again. I would just bring more water and perhaps more food than jellybeans for lunch.

It’s always worth it.

Has hiking changed your life? Do you often go back to nature to reset? Have you been hiking in New Zealand? Share!

Many thanks to Active Adventures for fueling my hiking wanderlust in New Zealand and helping out with this post – like always I’m keeping it real – all opinions are my own, like you could expect less from me!

The post 9 ways hiking in New Zealand will change your life appeared first on Young Adventuress.

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[genespirations]

I grew up with a Bible in my hand and big chunks of it systematically planted in my heart and mind. For that, I am grateful.

Every sermon I ever heard about the poor, wandering, lost sinner sounded eerily like this:

I’m a rollin’ stone all alone and lost For a life of sin, I have paid the cost When I pass by all the people say Just another guy on the lost highway

Hank Williams was the singular country crooner of a generation. He lived fast. He lived hard. He lived out loud, recording in mournful song his exploits. And then he died young…somewhere, I presume, on the Lost Highway. He was eight months shy of 30 years old.

Writing this article, I decided to dig a little deeper into the life of Hiram King (Hank) Williams. I knew he was known for having a bit of an outlaw persona. I knew he had been kicked out of the Grand Ole Opry after a bitter and public divorce. I knew he died from heart complications caused – or at least exacerbated – by drug and alcohol abuse.

I did not know that Hank suffered from a medical condition known as spina bifida occulta. His was obviously a much milder version of the condition, but this is the primary physical affliction suffered by my beautiful daughter – and today’s birthday girl – Holly.

It turns out, Hank Williams did not abuse substances primarily because of a wayward lifestyle. He did it to mask the chronic pain with which he lived. That pain was mainly physical, but his music suggests it also became mental…and spiritual.

His well-known song, The Lost Highway, whose opening words I quoted above, seems to open a window to a soul, a peek inside the heart of a man who felt he was lost and the way he chose only made him more lost.

The third verse is laced with regret and warning for those just beginning their own journey:

I was just a lad, nearly 22 Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you And now I’m lost, too late to pray Lord, I paid the cost, on the lost highway

Breaks your heart, doesn’t it, to hear the cry of the hopeless soul? If only Hank had someone like I did growing up – someone stuffing a Bible into his hand and his brain, stuffing Jesus into his heart.

If only Hank’s gospel message was anything remotely like my daughter Holly’s. Whatever pain he suffered from a spine defect you could not visibly detect when he was clothed must have paled in comparison to the chronic pain from which she suffers every single minute of her life. Earlier this year, the complications from her disability nearly claimed her very life.

I heard the cries few others have. I wiped the tears few others saw. I listened to the doubts few others know were there. But she never really wavered. She was never really on that lost highway. Through her pain, her own gospel message emerged, and it went like this:

My feet are literally failing me. So is my gut. My back. My heart.

But his grace abounds in deepest waters. It abounds. It doesn’t just trickle in, it floods into the broken pieces of our lives. And he’s a good father … one that loves us, wants us and will heal us. Even if he doesn’t heal these broken bones, gut, back, head, and heart … my hope is still Him alone. And it always will be.

So tonight, I write this for my King. I share this brokenness for His glory. I thank Him for the healing in happy memories, songs of hope and encouragement received by Norwegian strangers. I thank Him for choosing me to bear this cross for His glory and my good.  And I beg Him to push my heart to feel the same as my sweet friend, Joni’s:

I really would rather be in this wheelchair knowing Jesus as I do, than be on my feet without him. – Joni Tada I want to desire Him, more than I desire the healing He could give. I want to know Him deeply … and if this suffering gets me there, then bring it on.  I’m all in because He is all that really matters.

And I thank Him for sweet reminders that I am His vessel, His glory-story … and always will be.

The gospel is the same, whether you listen to Hank’s version or read Holly’s. It presents a choice, a path. One is the path to peace even in the darkest night; the other is the path of sorrow and regret, no matter how brightly the spotlight shines.

One way leads you home. The other leaves you lost.

You have this opportunity

this moment – to choose the Lost Highway or the Way of Life. Only you can choose for you.

Contact me if you would like to learn more about this way.

[contact-form] The gospel according to Hank …and Holly I grew up with a Bible in my hand and big chunks of it systematically planted in my heart and mind.