#before u get to the graveyard scene

[limielle]

[swordmaid]

having shri’iia thoughts as one does bc GUESS who’s save file completely died when the new patch came out nooo we have to replay her again 🤭 alas. just stewing on the thought of how she never got to fuck her Mistress even though she wanted to…!!!! like she was out there getting psychologically tortured and mind broken but she was just like WHY won’t you fuck me im literally doing everything for you. which is so bad for her, woman who already has an excruciatingly low self worth because she missed the mark on the standard for lolth’s children (and that’s worse than not fitting in the standard at all) by something out of her own control btw (not being born in a noble house) but she’s been recognised and blessed by her goddess, and she’s been invited to join a drow house so everything should be good right?? she should be desirable right?? finally everything is correct and well and good and the way it should be right????? but no..!! it’s not..!! and so she’s doing everything for this woman, no dignity left, literally doing anything to get her approval, to be told that she’s finally enough, and she’s finally fitting in - and she gets it sometimes, she gets ignored most times tbh and it’s just this painful excruciating stew of self loathing and insecurity that she’s in, and she’s in there for a century but the thing is she can’t even give up. it’s not in her nature to. and she’s done too much to just give up , and she’s been doing this for a long time that she can’t give up and lolth didn’t raise no quitters so she sticks by it, trying to achieve that hopeless praise. but then one day she gets dropped like nothing, everything she’s done and suffered and worked towards and sacrificed gets thrown out bc her goddess isn’t pleased with her and good luck going home btw you’re not welcome here anymore bc ur pathetic. the rug gets pulled under her feet and she’s left in this strange world that she can barely navigate in let alone speak the language and u expect her to b fine with that…?

[chaotic-iguana]

HI OMG UR FICS ARE INTOXICATING WTH!!!

Can I please req a Din Djarin where he and the reader are travelling together and reader is bubbly/sunshine personality and then she admits her feelings and Din doesn’t reciprocate at first.. then her personality changes and she’s all sad and he can’t stand it!!!! Cause he does love her and he can’t bare to see her that way!!!

Super angst and fluff please 😭😭😭😭 THANK H IF U DECIDE TO WRITE THIS 🤍🤍

HELLO THANK YOU SO MUCH!! ofc im writing anything u request lysm ur the best plus the prompt is so adorable ahufsdkfjhfs. just to try sumth new, im gonna switch it up and do this one from din’s pov. lmk what you think!!

Enough

Summary: Din rejects reader when she confesses her feelings to him even though he feels the same, only to regret it later.

Pairing: Grumpy! Din x Sunshine! Reader (no use of y/n)

Wordcount: 2.6k

Warnings: none, just a lot of angst and fluff

masterlist

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Din Djarin was not a good man. He was aware of this, which is why he was careful not to get to close. Not to taint things with his darkness; the destruction that seemed to shadow him wherever he went. He learned to turn his head away when you sung softly to the child, to clench his fists and keep himself from reaching for you when you giggled at your own terrible (adorable) jokes, to steel himself against your pleas to purchase every single fuzzy fabric you saw, no matter the form. Socks, blankets, shirts, trousers, even a kriffing hat, which Din stopped and let you buy just to stop the stares he was getting from people at the way you were practically jumping in your spot, pointing at the shop’s display. 

But despite his best wishes, Din was not a strong man, either. Not as strong as he needed to be, to resist you. You, with a beaming smile that never failed to make him blush under his helmet; with tender, caring hands that looked so soft that Din wanted to rip his beskar off so you could brush them against him, just once. Your hair, which smelled so sweet that Din could catch traces of it through the beskar. Your eyes, almost siren-like when you blinked up at him while rambling away about something. The way you scrunched your nose with a snort when you couldn’t hold in a laugh. The fact that you had never, ever asked for his name - or an explanation of his helmet, for that matter - even when he knew you hadn’t heard of Mandalorians before. The lilting notes of laughter in your voice before you turned to him with a sly smile, offering him with a witty quip he would have killed others for voicing, before throwing back your head and howling. No, Din was nowhere near strong enough to stand a single damn chance against you. 

He could hear you humming to yourself and the baby while you heated some broth, stopping to lean down and pepper kisses all over Grogu’s face as he cooed happily. Walking into the cockpit, he grunted in acknowledgement of your “Hey, Mando! Sleep well?” before turning to the child and nudging his helmet against his wrinkly forehead. When he turned around to see a gentle smile gracing your face in acknowledgement of the scene in front of you, he straightened up and cocked his helmet as if daring you to comment. 

He was itching for a fight: something, anything to stop the sweet torture of your presence which seemed to breathe life into your surroundings, no matter where you stood. You’d find a way to brighten a graveyard, Cyar’ika. Your smile tightened slightly before you presented him with a bowl of his own, brushing past him to take the child in your arms and leave the cockpit. Every muscle in his body was tense, his mind begging him to let you stay, to apologise for his hostility. To hear you prattle on about something menial while he ate, to revel in the domesticity of being with you. Not like that, of course. You were simply too good for him. Too perfect; too pristine. Your eyes too bright and your heart too soft for him to be worthy of your love. And so Din slipped off his helmet, ducked his head, and ate in silence.

He had noticed that lately, you still spoke to him, but you’d leave with the child more often. He could hear conspiratorial whispers sometimes, the child nodding and babbling his own input as if the two of you were hiding something. You weren’t awkward around him, per se, just less readily giving of your laughter, your jokes, your mindless chatter. All Din knew was that his mind would not rest unless he confronted you, and soon. A restless yearning for your erratic, unnecessarily bright gestures gave way to the anxiety spooling in his gut. Had you finally seen him for what he is?

So later that day, after the supply run when you had fed and put Grogu to sleep, he approached you in the cockpit. He shuffled uneasily behind you, shifting his weight from side to side as he waited for you to break the silence. But uncharacteristically, you just continued to stare into hyperspace without a word. When Din cleared his throat, you turned your head his way. But your gaze was flitting around; your hands fiddling nervously in your lap. Why were you apprehensive? 

“Are you…” Din swallowed, unsure of how to phrase his question, “okay?” Are we okay?You looked up at him then, your eyes wide with anxiety, before looking down at your lap again. Could you be…scared? Of me? 

But then you took a deep breath; the nerves fading from your face and giving way to a look of complete resignation, your shoulders slumping with the weight of inevitability. Your gaze met his visor, and he could see that your fingers were lightly curled into fists.

“I don’t really know how to do this, Mando.” Another deep breath. The colour has faded from your face and suddenly you seemed so small, folded in on yourself, that Din had never had to wrestle harder with his own self-control to stop himself from pulling you into his chest and holding you; comforting you, until you’re back to your bouncy self. “You know that I like most people, right?” He nods; you do seem to like and be liked by most people he’s come across, even the ones he would deem unworthy to so much as look at you. 

“I’ve always really enjoyed meeting new people, and making friends. Life is easier when you’ve got people, right?” You’re rambling again, but instead of the usual enthusiasm lacing your tone, crippling worry dripped from your every word. Are you leaving him? 

“I think-I know that I like you more than I like everyone else. Anyone else. I like everything about you more than I’ve ever liked about anyone else and I just…” you trailed off, gulping. “It feels like you and Grogu are my family, already. And I guess I just can’t help but wonder if you might want more than this, like I do. I-fuck it-I’m in love with you, Mando.” And then you’re shying away from him again, biting your lip as you search his visor for a reaction. 

You’re in love with him? This has to be a joke. Din waited for the catch, standing unmovingly in front of you as if waiting for one of your signature punchlines to come tumbling out of your mouth. When it doesn’t, he just gaped at you, his mind overwhelmed with too many thoughts to even say anything. A part of him had never been happier than this moment right here; never loved you more than right now. But the other, more dominant part of him was practically reprimanding him. And what now, idiot? Profess your undying love to her and subject her to a life as the wife of a bounty hunter? No comfortable homes, no proper vacations or even neighbors. A life on the run. With you, dikuit - a man who has never been loved enough to understand how to reciprocate. There is nothing you can give her. There is nothing you can do. 

Din bristled under your gaze, suppressing a wince at the words that came out of his mouth next. “You mean to tell me that you are in love with a man you have never even see the face of? A man who hasn’t even told you his name? Stop lying to yourself. There is no ‘family’. You are the child’s caretaker, and nothing more. It would be best for you not to forget that in the future.” He wanted to slap a hand to his mouth, to bite his tongue - anything, anything not to see the way you wilted in front of him as his words registered. You slumped further in the chair, shoulders curving inwards as you brought your knees to your chest to curl up into a protective position, as if he was hurting you. Frustrated by the fact that he could neither pull you in his arms to comfort you, nor find it in himself to continue spewing bullshit he didn’t mean, Din just turned and walked away. He pretended not to hear the muffled crying echoing through the ship that night. 

——————————————————————————————————

That had been three weeks ago. He’d gone for a hunt right after, returning within the week. What he found back at the ship made a part of him wish he wouldn’t have returned at all. Your eyes sat bloodshot on hollow cheeks, sunken in your face as dark blotches formed under them. You were quiet, even with the concerned child - all the singing, humming goneas if it had never been. Grogu kept gesturing to you when he father looked his way, as if asking what was wrong. Din knew what was wrong. He just didn’t know how to fix it. He couldn’t find it in himself to leave you alone again, so he’d been mumbling excuses to you each morning as to why he was still on the ship. You’d never answer, just offering him the barest dip of your chin. Din hadn’t just rejected you-he’d been cruel about it. And he hadn’t slept since the night he’d spat those pathetic words at you in an effort of self-preservation, either. The moment kept replaying in his head over and over: your initial nervousness, the words you’d said to him, and your wince at the ones he’d reciprocated with. 

But like he’d admitted: Din Djarin was not a strong man. For you; only for you, he would crumble. To see your usual cheeriness replaced by this emptiness nearly made his knees buckle. You’d stopped eating, too - quietly slipping your food to Grogu, whose concern was overridden by his constant hunger. He’d done this: out of fear of hurting you, he’d reduced you to a mere shadow of what you used to be by doing it anyways. Out of his fear of fucking it up, he’d gone and done that exact thing without even trying to make it work. It was unacceptable to him, to go without hearing your laugh or your jokes or your humming. Not to see you giggling with Grogu. Fix it then, dikuit. So he would. 

Din walked into the cockpit, picked Grogu up from his place on the floor, and whispered a soft apology to him before shutting him in his cot. Grogu, ever-understanding, had just pressed a claw to his helmet and nodded as if wishing him luck. Thanks kid, I’m going to need it. He’d seen your confusion when he had taken Grogu out of the cockpit, but youremained mute. Walking back towards you, Din could feel his chest hurting at the way your hands shook and your eyes glossed over when he got closer. 

“I’m sorry.” His words have no effect; a tilt of your head is the only proof you offer to show that you heard him. Ironic, isn’t it, to be at the receiving end of what I do to others all the time? “For how harsh I was. I didn’t mean it.” Your mouth opens this time, but he raises a hand to stop you. If he doesn’t get this out now, he never will. “I was the one lying to myself, not you. I fell in love with you a long, long time ago, ner’karta. But I was scared-still am-because I have nothing good to give you. Not like what you deserve. My creed alone means that I can’t show you my face until we get married. My job doesn’t allow me stability. I have never been…loved. I do not know how to love you properly. All I know is that it doesn’t feel like a good morning until you say it, that I feel myself flushing under my beskar when you smile at me, that I have to bite my lip to stop a chuckle when you tell me your jokes. All I know is that since you’ve come into my life and made it brighter, it seems I can’t face the darkness alone again. These past two weeks have been hell, cyar’ika. I cannot bear to see you like this. Please forgive me. I will drop you off anywhere you wish to go.” 

And then your face is twisting and you’re sobbing - large, shuddering sobs that alarm Din when they begin. He reaches a tentative hand out towards you slowly, giving you more than enough opportunity to slap it away. When you don’t, he steps closer and pulls you into his chest. As I should have done then. You shake with the force of your hiccups, and Din reaches to rip off his gloves before wrapping his arms around you, a warm hand coming to cradle your head against him. All he can say is a feverish repetition of “I’m sorry, I’m sorrymy love, please forgive me”. 

By the time your tears subside, you can hear sniffs coming from under the helmet too; his modulated voice cracking and giving away his own crying. “Y-you don’t get to-to decide for me. You can’t decide whether or not you can offer enough or whether you can love me properly or not. Just love me, Mando. All you have to do is try.” Your voice is so fragile, so tentative as you speak into his chest that Din’s heart aches at the pain he can hear in it. You continue, “I don’t need stability from you, nor do I need your name or face. To have your heart is enough.” And though you can’t see it, Din has to shut his eyes and brace himself against the weight of his own tears this time. His chest warming, butterflies in his stomach as he tucks you impossible closer.

“Like I said, cyar’ika, you’ve had it for a very long time.” And then you’re smiling again, as Din’s knees threaten to buckle from the force of emotion that wells up at the sight. You’ve pulled back from his chest, but stay close enough to graze his helmet with your nose.

“Is that so, Mando? Do I want to know how long?” You whisper back, somehow looking straight into his eyes despite the visor. 

“Din.” At your frown, he clarifies hesitantly. “My name, cyar’ika. Din Djarin.” You beam brighter, repeating it to yourself. “Wait - cyar’ika? You started calling me that last year, when you were annoyed I bought that fuzzy green hat with frog ear and Grogu tried to eat it on the way home. I thought it was like a swear word, or something -not that I think you would swear at me, you just seemed very annoyed, you know?”

A chuckle slips past his modulator, before he gives in completely. “Close your eyes, please.” When you comply, he rips his helmet off and cups your jaw with his hand, thumb stroking your cheek. Leaning in, he presses his mouth to yours gently, leaning back to look at you. “Beloved, cyare. It means beloved.” Before he can say anything else, your hands tangle in his hair, and suddenly you’re pulling him back into another kiss. And another. And another. 

You two remain so wrapped up in each other that you actually forget to leave the cockpit until Grogu stomps in, having apparently broken out of his cot, and begins babbling at you both angrily, before seeing the smile on your face after so long and hurtling towards you at full speed, nearly tripping on his robes in the process before you catch him in your arms. 

It was true, though. You didn’t need Din to go out of his way to give you anything. This was enough. 

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore

[hollowed-theory-hall]

what's the one harry potter pairing u like that u mentioned in the tags of your hinny post?

Anonymous: Can I ask who that minor character you ship with Harry is? For some absurd reason my mind jumped to Stan Shunpike lol but it's probably not him.... Or is it?

Okay, so this is kind of a funny story. Like, my pipeline through hp pairings was a weird one. Like, I used to read a lot of Harry pairings, still do on occasion (some make more sense than others). None of them were ones I would point at and say: "that should've happened in the books"

One day, I was innocently writing a fic (canon divergence of GoF), and it was just for me, for funnsies, never posted it anywhere and not planning to. And I planned to pair Harry with someone there (honestly, I don't remember who because I didn't write the plan down) but when writing, Harry ended up with a different character. And it was so strange to me because that never happened.

Like, how do you write a ship accidentally?

But I did. I wrote Harry into a ship by accident. So I went back to the books to try and figure out why the hell would my subconscious decide that's the way to go.

I'll also preface it by all this being my subjective opinion and I do read other Harry ships in fics, this one just quickly became my favorite to write (and the only one I write). Also, I don't actually think this is a pairing that should've happened in the books, it's place is in fic and that's where I like it.

So, the character I accidentally shipped with Harry is... *drumroll*

Stan Shunpike!

Not really, it's:

Theodore Nott

Now, you might look at the name and go: "Who the fuck is that?"

And you'll be correct. Theo has 0 speaking lines in the entire book series. His name appears twice. He, himself, as a person, only appeared on page, like, 3 times in the background. The scene that gives the most information about him is other characters talking about him. He isn't even present.

That being said, I'm very good at extrapolating a lot of information from very little evidence. So allow me, to walk you through who is Theodore Nott and why I ship him with Harry.

Basic Information

So, let's start with the most basic overview before I pull out the quotes and go any deeper.

We know Theo is a Slytherin student in Harry's year. So he likely shares a dorm with Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Theo's father is both at the graveyard at the end of GoF and in the Department of Mysteries at the end of OotP, so we know he is a Death Eater. We also know Thoe's father was one of the first and closest Death Eaters to Voldemort, who waited for him during his interview with Dumbledore in 1967:

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed...”

(HBP, page 444)

We also know the Nott family is "as pure-blooded as the Malfoys" according to JKR in an interview. We also know Theo's great-grandfather (maybe? the family relation isn't clear), Cantankerus Nott, is suspected to be the one who wrote the Pure-Blood Dictionary, the book that coined the term "Sacred 28" and made that list (which the Nott family are on).

The name Nott is potentially to be derived from the name Nótt, which is the personification of the night in Norse Mythology. So it has been theorized the Nott family have a Nordic origin. Possible, but it doesn't really matter for this post.

What does, is that he comes from a dark, Death Eater, blood-purist family similar to the Malfoys. Even so, Theo never took the Dark Mark and never joined Voldemort in the books.

Now, that we have the basic information out of the way, let's look at Theodore as a person.

All the details I could gather from the books

Alright, now we get to the fun part. That is, me going through all the relevant scenes that mention Theodore Nott and actually creating a character psychoanalysis out of basically nothing.

So, the quotes aren't organized in a particular order. I'm just going to explain Theo and then explain why all this makes me ship him with Harry.

“Well, I pity Slughorn’s taste. Maybe he’s going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his day. My father used to be a bit of a favorite of his. Slughorn probably hasn’t heard I’m on the train, or —” “I wouldn’t bank on an invitation,” said Zabini. “He asked me about Nott’s father when I first arrived. They used to be old friends, apparently, but when he heard he’d been caught at the Ministry he didn’t look happy, and Nott didn’t get an invitation, did he? I don’t think Slughorn’s interested in Death Eaters.” Malfoy looked angry, but forced out a singularly humorless laugh.

(HBP, page 150)

This is a part of the conversation between Draco, Pansy, and Blaise, Harry overhears when he is hiding in their compartment at the beginning of HBP. I have a few things to note regarding this scene.

Firstly, throughout this conversation, Pansy, Blaise, and Draco all call each other by their first name. This shows closeness, they are all friendly and familiar enough to use their first names with each other. Theo, though, is referred to as "Nott" by all three in the compartment.

He doesn't actually sit in their compartment which is in itself a sign about how he isn't really friendly with Draco's group. Considering the group is most of his year from his house, Theo is likely very lonely, and it will be apparent from other scenes I bring up later.

Secondly, Theo's father is in Azkaban. We know Draco is bothered about his own father's predicament. He mentions it to Harry and bothers him over it, Theo doesn't though. Theo doesn't seem to be bothered by Harry or his father's incarceration.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that the relationship between Theo and his father is not a good one.

(I know some fics like to have Lucius be abusive towards Draco, for some reason. But the books really don't back this up. Lucius loves Draco and Draco adores his father)

Theo, though, Theo seems to be the one with a very strained relationship with his father. Strained enough that he isn't bothered the man is in Azkaban. What I'm saying is that Theo's father likely abuses or mistreats him in some capacity.

If anything more was needed to complete Harry’s happiness, it was Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle’s reactions. He saw them with their heads together later that afternoon in the library, together with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott. They looked around at Harry as he browsed the shelves for the book he needed on Partial Vanishment, and Goyle cracked his knuckles threateningly and Malfoy whispered something undoubtedly malevolent to Crabbe. Harry knew perfectly well why they were acting like this: He had named all of their fathers as Death Eaters

(OotP, page 583)

This is a scene at the end of OotP after Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Theo's fathers were caught at the ministry and sent to Azkaban because they are Death Eaters. There are a few important notes about this scene.

The first, Hermione knows Theo, while Harry and Ron don't really. This means she likely knows him from the classes she takes and Harry and Ron don't — Arithmancy and/or Ancient Runes.

The second, he is sitting with other Death Eater children, but I don't think it's by choice. I mentioned in the previous quote how he isn't close to Draco and his crew. He sits with them here mostly because he doesn't have another choice. Theo doesn't seem to really have any friends, so he sits with the closest people he has to friends — kids he has known since he was young because their fathers were in the same circle.

The other note about this is that Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco are all mentioned as being threatening and malicious towards Harry because they don't like that their fathers are in Azkaban. Theo, though, Theo doesn't threaten Harry, he isn't part of their whisperings. As I mentioned above, he's likely happy his father is in Azkaban.

A pair of blank, white, shining eyes were growing larger through the gloom and a moment later the dragonish face, neck, and then skeletal body of a great, black, winged horse emerged from the darkness. It looked around at the class for a few seconds, swishing its long black tail, then bowed its head and began to tear flesh from the dead cow with its pointed fangs. A great wave of relief broke over Harry. Here at last was proof that he had not imagined these creatures, that they were real: Hagrid knew about them too. He looked eagerly at Ron, but Ron was still staring around into the trees and after a few seconds he whispered, “Why doesn’t Hagrid call again?” Most of the rest of the class were wearing expressions as confused and nervously expectant as Ron’s and were still gazing everywhere but at the horse standing feet from them. There were only two other people who seemed to be able to see them: a stringy Slytherin boy standing just behind Goyle was watching the horse eating with an expression of great distaste on his face, and Neville, whose eyes were following the swishing progress of the long black tail.

(OotP, page 445)

“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”

(OotP, page 446)

The stringy Slytherin boy mentioned here is Theo. This scene proves that:

He takes Care of Magical Creatures

He saw someone die

Let's explore the second one for a moment. The fact Theo can see Thestrals means he watched someone die and was old enough to comprehend what he was seeing. We also know Theo's mother is dead. So it's likely the person he watched die was his mother.

I also want to draw attention to Theo's distaste towards Thestrals. He could likely see them carrying the carriages every year since 2nd year, it's not his first time seeing them. But it doesn't stop his displeasure with their sight from showing. Which says something about him. It means he likely recalls his mother and her death whenever he looks at the Thestrals. and these are memories Theo rather not experience.

We don't know how his mother died, but I'd hazard a guess it wasn't natural. After all, wizards have long life spans, they are more durable to illness and injury, and don't usually die from accidents unless very extreme or magical. And there was no epidemic of dragonpox (a disease that does tend to kill wizards) in the time since 1980 and the books. So, she was more likely killed at some point between 1985(ish) and 1991.

“No, I don’t think so, sir. I’m Muggle-born, you see.” Harry saw Malfoy lean close to Nott and whisper something; both of them sniggered, but Slughorn showed no dismay; on the contrary, he beamed and looked from Hermione to Harry, who was sitting next to her.

(HBP, pages 185-186)

First, Theo is an O student in potions since he is in the potions NEWT class, and was probably meant to be there even if Snape was the teacher.

Second, again, Theo doesn't really have friends. He sits next to Draco as the only other Slytherin in the class. Also, they share the circumstances of being sons of Death Eaters currently in Azkaban. Although both of them seem to deal with it quite differently.

Third, Theo joins Draco in making fun of Hermione's blood status, but he does not initiate it. Considering the environment he was raised in and is in, it makes sense he would make fun of it. Whether he's a blood-purist or not, he would want to keep his image considering he doesn't have many allies. Hanging out with Draco is survival, not friendship. They aren't even on a first-name basis with each other.

“Amortentia doesn’t really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room — oh yes,” he said, nodding gravely at Malfoy and Nott, both of whom were smirking skeptically. “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. . . .

(HBP, page 186)

The final quote I have about Theo is from the same potions class as above. Both he and Draco are portrayed here as underestimating amortentia and its potential damage. It makes sense for their upbringing in the Wizarding World, which has no real laws or regulations regarding love potions that are seen as harmless fun more often than not.

I'll add Theo likely didn't witness a healthy romantic relationship. Considering his father is a Death Eater who is likely abusive and may or may not have killed his mother. With this as his reference to a marriage, it's clear why he'd look down on love and love potions.

Why I think Theo and Harry have potential

Okay, so now that we know who Theodore Nott is, let's talk about why I ship him with Harry.

I think Harry, in general, would get along best with a clever partner with the ability to be ruthless (Slytherins or Ron fall into this category). Because Harry isn't some golden savior; he casts unforgivables, and is very willing to poison Umbridge or Crocio Snape if he could get away with it. He needs a partner that won't be horrified by these thoughts.

Also, Theo literally never speaks on page. Even when spoken to, his reactions are silent. I think this quiet and no need to talk, the ability to be comfortable in silence, is something that would be comfortable for Harry. Harry in the books finds himself annoyed with Ron and Hermione's constant banter on occasion, so I think it fits well.

Theo would also be comfortable around Harry without a need to play a certain part. Because Harry wouldn't care about that. He would honestly rather Theo forgo the pure-blood Slytherin act.

I feel like Harry and Theo, have a good potential to understand each other. Theo lost his mother and likely experiences abuse from his father. It makes them very likely to trauma bond over their crap life and shared experience. Two out of three only ones who could see the Thestrals in the entire class.

The other thing I feel they could connect over is being lonely. Harry spent all his childhood until Hogwarts basically being on his own. Theo stayed on his own. Draco at least has his parents, he has other students he's closer to, not that he shares everything with them, but he has some support network. Theo has none. And this is something Harry knows well.

Theo, I think, wouldn't expect anything specific from Harry. He doesn't even interact with him, not to mock him, and not to idolize him, he doesn't care at all. And we know how much Harry appreciates being thought of as Harry and not as the Boy-Who-Lived. Theo would allow Harry to be himself without some mold he wants him to fit in.

The fact Theo never becomes a Death Eater, even though he was in Draco's year and his father was a Death Eater before Lucius (and in better standing than Lucius with Voldemort) is so interesting. It's somewhat surprising Theo wasn't marked. It means he didn't want to be. It means that Theo Nott didn't want to torture and kill muggleborns or blood traitors, or anyone really. And he didn't want to swear his allegiance to Voldemort. This is just a fascinating fact to me and something I enjoy considering. What life experience made him come to that conclusion? Was it just his dislike of his father that pushed him away? Could he have been another Sirius Black (Gryffindor in a Slytherin family) under slightly different circumstances? I mean, Voldemort likely wouldn't force him to become a Death Eater, but would his father? I don't know what at all went down there, but I like that potential story.

We also know he wasn't part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad, even though some minor Slytherins were mentioned to be part of it. He just seems to be an actually decent guy (I don't care what Cursed Child says about him, I know he's there but I avoided almost anything to do with Cursed Child so I barely know the plot).

Finally, this is a character Harry doesn't have as much drama to get over with. Yes, sometimes I want to read overcoming drama between characters before it becomes a romance, but sometimes I want something chiller than that. And Theo is a really chill, safe, Slytherin option for Harry.

[raddishwrites]

okay but like connor can take punch

[watchyourbuck]

We’re literally DAYS away from s7 but I just watched the graveyard scene™️ and I have,,,, thoughts

I haven’t publicly discussed the lighting strike, the coma dream or the third kitchen scene yet, but there was something about this scene that irked me enough, so now im here

For starters this whole episode was centered around death. We have the Fake Funeral, Shannon’s grave, the Athena arc with the man who died then came back to life, and obviously,,, as one might imagine, we brushed Buck’s near-death experience (⚡️) — then at the end,,, the ever angering Buddie talk at a previous victim’s grave.

In this episode we meet Natalia, a death doula who Buck and the rest of the 118 tend to after an accident.

She quickly takes an interest in the recently Discharged™️ Evan Buckley, even asking him out on a date after finding out about his “acquaintance” (sic.) with death.

On the date per se she manifests her excitement towards Buck’s whole story, even prompting him to say ‘look at how excited you are. you’re like a real fangirl of this stuff.’

Upon research, I’ve found that death doulas are a real thing. Slow blink. I had no idea.

Thing is, she keeps saying how cool it is to have died and come back to life, imo pressuring him into discussing details he doesn’t seem all that ready himself to say out loud (he just seems to like her, however). He does anyway. She says how amazing and cool it is. Again.

We do not get more details of the date.

Now to what brings us all here.

The scene starts with Buck and Eddie in front of Marie’s grave (a victim they knew). Buck explains how she died and mentions Natalia. Eddie says ‘we’re all gonna die alone’,,, which,, 👁️ ok mister Diaz a little somber but um– let him cook.

Buck seems a lil taken aback by this, turning to look at Eddie quietly until he explains that’s what Marie said to him and Hen. Buck disagrees with the statement.

Then it’s Eddie’s turn to mention Natalia. “That’s a beautiful thing Natalia did for her,” he says, looking at the ground. I’m not particularly a Natalia stan, but I can say that at this point of the conversation Eddie means no ill-will towards her. She’s actually somehow a… background character (of sorts) to this whole story.

This is when it gets,,,, interesting 🧍🏽‍♀️

As soon as Eddie speaks, Buck takes a small breath and smiles. Like WIDE. (Like guys that’s the picture I just put above this whole scene) — BUT he looks like he’s a bit hesitant in entrusting Eddie with the fact that he’s seeing her. He even ducks his head a little bit, which is a clear sign of cautiousness.

Before Buck’s even done speaking, Eddie sighs and throws his head slightly back. I don’t have the WORDS to explain to yall the way this man looks like he’s e x h a u s t e d (they haven’t even started the conversation bro 😭)

“Really? Dating someone you rescued?” OKAY LISTEN TO ME. This is what sets off the Marisol arc. Before Buck started dating Natalia, we hadn’t even heard about Marisol in the whole season !!!! She was gone, poof! Then Buck gets all deathy-snuggly with Natalia and suddenly Eddie’s really interested in her (when not even half an episode ago he was telling Tia Pepa he wasn’t ready even if he didn’t wanna be alone). Otherwise it would be awfully cynical of Eddie to be saying all this when he’s planning on going against his OWN words in like two episodes……….. 👨🏽‍🦯

Not only that, but it’s the fact that he looks completely against it from the very get go. Ummmm Taylor was someone they rescued, so was Ali. We never heard this speech before did we??? “You know that never ends well.” Also it’s the second fact that he says YOU know it never ends well. Excuse me? Wasn’t Ana someone you rescued also? 🤨 it just seems like he’s trying very hard to convince Buck to not do this. How do I know this you ask??? Bc I’ve been in that situation.

When Buck starts defending his choices, Eddie only nods. He can’t even look at him. He’s defeated, but not AS defeated as he’s about to be. “Anyway, she wanted to ask me about the lighting strike” “Right. You love being the guy with the answers.” This is NOT PLAYFUL. EDDIES NOT SAYING THAT ENDEARINGLY. Omg I can’t even- he’s not fooling around the way a friend would tease someone about their hot new date, he’s deliberately using the same PHRASING Buck used with him and Chris like a minute ago. He’s hurt. Eddie’s HURT. By now Eddie thinks Buck’s just playing around with this girl. And he’s hurt bc when he had his moment with Tia Pepa, he envisioned a life for himself with Buck (and I can’t tell you it was super romantic or platonic, but in his head it was a family. All three of them. This was clearly breaking that vision that he took so long to accept).

Okay. “I feel like she sees me.” I have… I need to have extensive PTO rn cuz im seething. The way Eddie’s head immediately turns to Buck, even though he had been avoiding his eyes through the entirety of the scene. Another person said this so im not gonna take originality credit but: it’s like their whole friendship flashes through his mind, and his face contorts into a very painful ‘but I see you.’ I’m in so much pain lmao

Eddie’s literally scrambling now. He doesn’t know what to say, how to stop this pain. He’s lost Buck. He lost the man he’s been secretly and unawaringly in love with for over five years. He tries to be okay with this new reality asap. He hides his feelings. He starts joking. Buck’s not really laughing either, it’s futile.

“You haven’t been the same since it happened. But how could you be?” The last bit Eddie says to himself. He’s trying to adjust so fast he might have whiplash. It’s like he’s thinking: “if I had acted before this all happened, maybe I could have changed with you, instead of watching you change from a corner when im nothing but your best friend. No authority, no rights, no permission.” 😀 im ready to end it all btw

Thing is,,, Eddie STILL loves Buck, even if he’s convinced himself in his head right about now that he can’t have him. He’ll be happy (he’ll have to be) just being his friend, because losing his romantic love won’t ever be worse than losing him completely, so he says: “You don’t have to be anything for anybody.” Does this REMIND YALL OF SOMETHING ???

(gently borrowed from @loveyourownsmiilee – although it was a gif but I’m kinda computer stupid)

Anyway, then Eddie becomes a little preachy, ending it w “so what changed you?” Which honestly he says quite angrily and accusatorially. If you watch the scene he even nods his head up, pointing at Buck and separating him from himself. He’s cutting their lines. YOU changed. YOU moved on. YOU died. YOU didn’t wait for me.

Then Buck kinda extends his hand back. “That has to mean something, right?” (Cheating death). He looks at Eddie with hope, but the man ISNT LOOKING BACK…. And the window is lost. Eddie’s joking again, Buck looks away.

Whatever, the scene ends with Eddie wanting but refusing to look at Buck, while Buck stares into a hypothetical horizon with a glimmer of a new, different hope. He never realized Eddie’s heart broke an inch away from him.

“It’s all a gift.”

Not to Eddie, it isn’t.

[crimeronan]

Hello, got a TOH question for you! I'm trying to write a scene from only-slightly-canon-divergent!Luz's POV, and to dismay finding I'm struggling with it. Any pro tips for writing her you can pass on to someone who didn't study at Luz University? 😅

aw, this is a sweet ask. i'm flattered to be considered a resident luz expert! and i LOVE an excuse to infodump. this got long i'm sorry i just love thinking about. my girl.

luz is usually pretty whimsical and optimistic (which is why her later self-destruction hits so hard), she believes in people and she believes in The Triumph Of Good Over Evil. she's weird and doesn't understand social norms but she cares So Much, About Everything, Ever. she believes that things will work themselves out like they do in stories, she sometimes steps on people's toes when she's trying to fix a situation, she loves an underdog story and it's constantly getting her into trouble.

i think the biggest three things for me when writing luz POV are these:

-

she is UNRELENTINGLY kind and trusting.

this is her biggest strength - she's constantly befriending her enemies through the sheer power of earnestness. and this is how she makes and keeps friends like willow, gus, and eda.

this is also one of her biggest weaknesses - she gave hunter back his staff in hunting palismen when she Really Should Not Have, she didn't pick up on philip's Bad Vibes, etc.

she truly honest-to-god believes the best in everyone and is surprised and hurt whenever they disappoint her.

-

2. she has NO impulse control and CRIPPLINGLY hyperactive ADHD.

luz is all over the place, constantly. her thoughts and hyperfixations go a mile a minute. she can devour a book in a day and learn a conlang in a week, but she can't sit still and she has the type of ADHD that makes traditional classroom learning borderline-impossible.

outside of school, you see this constantly in the decisions she makes, or rather the decisions she Doesn't make. luz always blurts out exactly what she's thinking, when she's thinking it. she always thinks that her first solution to a problem is the best one & rarely plans beyond that. she's not an analytical strategist. in fact she's frequently fucking up everybody else's plans by..... just. being luz.

the fact that luz always says and does whatever she's thinking is, again, one of her greatest strengths: she is SO earnest and genuine, and it makes it easy for people to believe in her. she loves SO openly and is so lovable in turn.

it's also one of her greatest weaknesses because. oh my god, girl. challenging boscha to a witch's duel on willow's behalf. angrily shouting straight-up heresy about belos in public in hollow mind. all the shit that got her into trouble in the human realm before she ran away. u know

-

3. she is Desperately Afraid of hurting people.

i'd say she's afraid of being a Bad Person (TM), but i do think her fear is more specific. in WAD, her nightmare isn't exactly about having committed atrocities herself -- she doesn't even believe she could have! she knows she didn't create the statue graveyard, she immediately tells amity "i don't know what's going on, but i wouldn't have done this."

all of her fears are related to things her friends & family went through after meeting her.... she's terrified that she's going to hurt the people she loves, no matter how much she tries not to. she's terrified that her presence in the world is harmful by itself.

same with her rant in the classroom in TTT. when she says "it would be better if he [i] never existed," she even says (paraphrasing) "who cares about the broader impacts or the greater good. who cares if he was a hero or wanted to do the right thing. it doesn't matter!!! what matters is that he ruined everything anyway!!!!"

her anxiety with papa titan reflects this, too. "doesn't that make us just like belos??" she's figuring out how to navigate the world and complex morality and she's terrified of getting it Wrong. she already feels like she's done everything wrong & it's completely shaken her sense of self. she doesn't trust herself not to hurt people or to work for evil because she doesn't have a clear understanding of what separates her ideology from belos's.

this third point often isn't relevant in fluffy/lighthearted fic because luz's optimism, joy, and simple zest for life are Definitely dominant in her character. but it is VERY relevant when doing character studies or angstier writing exploring her headspace in situations where she feels guilty or afraid.

-

everything else is set dressing. she's quirky and weird, she's bouncy and stimmy, she loves bats and rats and snakes and bugs and creepy crawlies, she loves gross shit, she loves shipping and romance and sweeping high fantasy, she gets Deeply invested in every random plan she ever conceives, and she is Astonishingly easy to love because of how easily she loves.

you don't have to keep every single detail of this in mind when writing her!! this was just a nice excuse to gush about my girl who i love so so so so so fucking much. luz love of my life daughter of my heart FOREVER.

[duplicitywrites]

Thank you so much for replying to my other ask! I completely understand not wanting to revisit a fic you had wrote when you weren't doing the best, and I hope you're feeling better now! 🩷 I adore 'evermore' so much even though it's quite depressing aha 🥲 The way you wrote Harry's mental health and escapism was so good and Id love to hear some spoilers if you were up to it 😅

One thing I love about fanfic is the freedom of it all, and like you said "What is fanfic if not an ode to writing that felt unfinished?". Your interpretation of Harry as an abused child at his core in works like "damaged" always get to me. It always felt weird in the HP book series that Harry had such an awful childhood and was as well adjusted and happy in the future.

Another one of your works I was really interested in is 'perfect boys with their perfect lives', the Harry/Cedric aka a certain dark lord one. It really had me thinking about what could have happened in the graveyard if Harry hadn't escaped 🫣

i am, thanks! it was around covid, which was an awful time for everyone i'm sure, with weird life stuff piled on top of it.

i was going to answer all of the ones you mentioned, but evermore is actually one of few stories i have planned out in detail. this is why it has a planned chapter count (though that hasn't stopped me from going overboard before lol).

i guess i'll just give you the whole thing in case i never finish it kljsdgkljdgs it's pretty long, so under a cut it goes! but first some context for everyone else:

🍃 Evermore

Tags: Alternate Universe, Unhealthy Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Manipulative Relationship, Infidelity, Past Child Abuse, Dream Sequences, Depression, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Plot Twists, Happy Ending, Surprise Ending, Healing

Summary:

Harry is a married man who is living a charmed life. He has no need for the fantasy potions gifted to him by the Weasley twins—or so he thinks. After falling asleep on the train ride home, Harry dreams of the perfect man, a man named Tom Riddle. As Harry explores his dream life with Tom, he realizes that his actual life is not as charmed as it seems. The pristine image of his faultless marriage shatters, revealing a darker reality, and Tom Riddle becomes an oasis, a sanctuary for Harry to escape to. However, no sanctuary is eternal and no oasis is truly perfect. Harry must eventually confront his demons, inner and outer, before he can find real happiness for himself.

Notes:

these notes are arranged in order from where the most recently posted chapter left off.

there are probably some divergent points that occurred during the actual writing process, but this plan below (i'll admit i'm not quite brave enough to reread it all) is what the general storyline will be.

-

reality four - right where you left me

maybe harry's been harbouring fears of his potions being found? :thots: or his husband's made note of his changes in behaviour, accuses him of not spending time/being devoted

they get into an argument where harry gets a looooot of shit for stuff he doesn't deserve to get shit for, stuff that's not even true

harry yells back but gets hit, idk if by magic or not :thots: and he backs down, distraught. then once he's alone, he goes straight for the dream world

dream four - no body no crime

it'll be a much shorter version obviously, and the character roster won't be the same

i hadn't nailed down the specifics of the background and so i'm not sure how it'll look, exactly

harry is NOT married in this dream, he knows dream-husband but they are only friends

dream-husband is ginny's role in this particular iteration

but the climax of this scene is where harry is snooping around in the house, where he happens upon the dream-husband's diary

he's been looking for evidence to prove the murder

harry reads through the diary

and in the diary are tragic entries describing depressive thoughts, details of emotional (maybe even physical) abuse, etc.

this is a pivotal moment for harry, who up until this moment has been in denial about the failings of his real life marriage

reading this in the framing of it happening to someone else is enough for him to realize that it's wrong

what happens to him is not okay

but of course it's not that easy to just, shrug off years of marriage all at once; harry once again exits the dream, thus ending that particular dream universe

he's partly in denial but it's not as bad as before

he's been using the dreams as a coping mechanism up until this point

i've made it sound kind of frustrating but the dream worlds that harry goes to are meant to be very lush, romanticized

while we realize that harry's dream worlds are not ideal, he doesn't realize it right away

he thinks he's still doing something wrong

reality five - coney island

uh so next is probably another real life scene which shows tension between harry and his husband, only harry is no longer acting the way he did before aka accepting things without question

after the dream, harry starts to... notice things. he picks up on the slights, on the manipulative behaviours. he doesn't argue back for most of it, because he's still figuring it out and he's in shock, but he does start acting differently, which is noted by his husband

it escalates things further, a landslide of 'harry is no longer listening to me, is no longer under my control' type of deal where it results in more attempts to manipulate, which harry now sees is bad

voldemort grew addicted to power, made deals with politicians, gained a following

he looks back on past events and picks out the red flags, realizes that his marriage is not a marriage of equals. but just because harry knows these things, doesn't mean he knows what to do. he goes back to the dream world for comfort/answers

dream five - cowboy like me

this one is 'cowboy like me'

harry is there with his husband staying at a hotel, they happen across dream-husband, who is a con artist attempting to swindle an older woman

either harry is also a con artist in a similar vein, or he is mistaken for one - i'll probably decide once it's written out and i get a sense of the vibe

but he and dream-husband have some interesting conversations, flirting, etc

the theme of this dream i think will be further strengthening the similarities between harry and the dream-husband he's made up in his head

this dream ends with a bittersweet farewell

something along the lines of, despite their attraction for each other, they must part ways? :thots: or some other thing

but there will be a bit of a cheeky 'see you soon'

aka referencing the fact that it's a dream/dream world, that the dream-husband is a recurring character in harry's mental space

reality six - happiness

harry's down to two vials now, the bittersweet farewell of dream five has him realizing that time is running out in the metaphorical sense; we understand that soon he will need to make a choice

i might loop back to infidelity at this point, maybe in an attempt to bring harry to heel, his husband starts flaunting an affair? :thots: cause in the past, flirting with other people probably worked to make harry upset and easily manipulated

but y'know now harry is armed with his brand new knowledge of Marriage Should Not Be Like This and also he's got some shiny self-worth stored up, courtesy of dream-husband

dream six - ivy

in this dream world, harry is married to his current husband, but he is having an affair with the dream-husband; not in the sexual sense, but in the emotional sense. drawing on the dream five, harry is seeking comfort and solace from his bad marriage

this dream is meant to remove more of harry's doubts and encourage him to see that his current situation is bad

and i imagine we start to break through the fourth wall; dream-husband speaks directly to harry, referencing real life events that have occurred

he encourages harry to leave

harry is doubtful, obviously. this is all he's known and he's been gaslighted, manipulated, mistreated

he's terrified he will be found out and punished for it

but the dream-husband reassures him, promises him that things will be okay, etc.

he makes harry promise to take care of himself

and i'm thinking in true romantic sense, maybe they spend the night together? :thots:

reality seven - closure

we solidify that harry deserves better, that what has happened is not his fault, etc all the important, healthy things

we have harry reaching out to the people that have been slowly pushed out of his life (mostly by his husband). he’s reconnecting with them, being healthier, i think this section would end with harry going to ron and hermione and telling them the truth, telling them everything

harry is down to his last vial, so he's been saving it

like, he could obviously go and get more, they would give it to him for free, even, but you know it's kind of like

he shouldn't have to rely on that as a coping mechanism any more

dream seven - evermore

i'm thinking harry goes for one last dream, they sit together outside(?) or somewhere else that has significance for harry

they hold hands, harry talks about how much the support has meant to him, what he's learned about himself, what these dreams have taught him

sometimes things don't work out

he knows he needs to walk out and move on

i'll probably cry writing all this so you know it'll be good

the end - it’s time to go

then like i mentioned before, there will be a scene of harry signing divorce papers. his friends are with him, telling them they support him, and he feels... relief. he feels hope.

the story ends with harry attending a party, this time by his own decision. he's here to genuinely mingle with people, with his friends, and have a good time

and then he sees someone

much like the previous dream, it's someone who he once knew

they talk, they catch up, but this time it doesn't feel odd or uncomfortable

harry feels secure with himself, and we end on the hopeful note that this could go somewhere good

[obsidianpen]

"Subconsciously long before NG started in my wildly controversial opinion..."

Ooh. How long before, do u think? 👀

haaaa I get asked this every time. honestly I think it may have been a crazy problematic Jacob Black from Twilight Imprinting kind of thing butttttt otherwise I'd say somewhere in the ministry of magic duel fiasco? if not the graveyard scene?

[weixuldo]

UPDATE TIME!!!

moving back into college this weekend (wooo) so sorry abt my lack of activity here :(

but, lets get into the statuses of the fics

Allow Me- so this one is probably the most popular one atm (thank you guys again for all of the love)! the beginning of ch 11 is done and so is the tail end of it, I mainly need to work on the middle. But after tis chapter it'll pick up big time (calling back to the post I made abt using the vader comics :)) I have most of those scenes already written so updates with allow me should be a bit better once ch 11 comes out

2. Enigma- Ahhh, my longest fic to date. I have so much love for this mf, Ik allow me is more popular, but something abt this one just really hooks me and idk why lol. But I am almost finished with the first part of a two part chapter: anakin's birthday and "alive" day celebration (if u read the fic, you'll know what I mean by alive day lol). Like i've said before I have this story planned to a "T", but its finding the time to sit down and flesh it out thats tricky.

3. Unconditionally- One of my favorite children, returned from the graveyard! I always said i wanted to do an epilogue and an epilogue I have been writing hehe. It's gonna be a two parter (there's so much I wanna say in this universe). I am almost done with part one which will be mostly catching the reader up on what y/n and ani have been doing for the past 10 years :) then the second part will explore more present matters.

4. Linecook/roommate ask- I went a lil crazy w this one (4000+ words) but I am very pleased with how it turned out. Itll prob b the next thing I post. I'm not sure if its a series or a one shot, once you guys read it, just lmk what you want from it :)

Thank you all for sticking around my crazy schedule and random uploads, love u all :)

[osarina]

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

[astarionposting]

hi! hope this is okay to ask (: i wanna try my own at swap out companions and use gale and my tav for romance scenes, but other than his own romance scenes etc. i know how to do the swapping thing but i wondered - which companion romance scenes do you recommend to use? i havent tried them all so i dont know which one is which and how they look or anything. would you mind doing a lil description or something for me with the scenes you recommend and a little about them/visuals? etc: astarion scene x - tav does this, astarion does this, mostly nude. etc etc (: also im fully up for the ntsw scenes :D hope this isnt a bother, or if you know a place where i can watch ALL the romance scenes of every companion. sorry this got long. thanks so much!!!!!

Not a bother at all!

My favourite romance scenes are:

Astarion Act 1 (in the forest at night and then depending on when you trigger this scene, you will have a convo in the day or night), Lae’zel Act 1 (u have sex with her and eat her coochie), Shart Act 1 (she invites you to drink some wine with her and then u kiss), Astarion Act 2 (soft hug 🥰 ), Gale Act 2 (He either conjures up an illusion of being at his home in waterdeep and then u have astral projection sex, or he conjures up a bed and u have bed sex), Karlach Act 2 (her kiss and her sex scene in front of the campfire usually, but I haven’t tried it with swapped models yet actually…), Wyll Act 2 (He dances with u and it’s very cute), Astarion Act 3 (Graveyard for spawn Astarion, it is very sweet and some spice at the end when he kisses u/Ascended Astarion basically has sex with u and then turns u into a vampire, it’s very very nsfw), Shadowheart Act 3 (Selunite Shart is like a skinny dipping on the beach together at night and DJ Shart is u put blood on a Selune statue and kiss and then she jumps on u and bites u/puts blood in your mouth) and Wyll Act 3 (he proposes to u with an acorn and then pills u to the ground for some smooches, very very cute), Lae’zel Act 3 (watching the sunrise together, and then u hold hands; nothing beyond that happens and it’s a very warm scene). OH and I forgot to add, minthara’s Act 1 scene: she sits on ur lap and kisses u, then u guys have SEX and she gives u a blow job/eat ur coochie and then u guys cuddle until u wake her up and kiss again—I have also learned the hard way that you can only resculpt Minthara into other body type 1, resculpting her into a body type 2 DOESNT WORK! It is actually horrifying cause her head just disappears lol

I haven’t tried Karlach’s Act 3 yet and I’ve only watched Gale’s Act 3 on YouTube. I’m not very good at describing the scenes lol, so it is better to watch on YouTube to see what you like or just romance the companions and try them out first hand!

As much as I love Halsin’s scene, he is a big boy (we love to see it), so the other companions do not fit his animations, and it looks messed up 💀 just don’t do it it looks so weird LOL

Hopefully this helped with an idea of what most scene entails!! Some are longer than others and it’s easier to get shots, but some are really short and you’ll be reloading the same save like 10 times before getting the right shots 😔😔 I often have to reload scenes like 15+ times to get what I want cause I’ll either miss it/or accidentally unpaused 😭 😭

[actualbird]

totally agree about orange scent being rushed, i remember being pretty upset over it because he’s been stuck in this way of thinking for so long, he quite literally runs away from his problems and hes shown to very much struggle with changing his thinking e.g. worrying and then for him to suddenly change his mind after a walk? idk it seemed quite bizarre to me. like u said i think if there was a gap, where he processed the conversation in the graveyard and maybe aaron talk to him some more, maybe even peanut doing his thing!! it would’ve worked well. moreover what upsets me is that you don’t even see the ring in the evolved cg - you see the ring on mc’s finger in the other 3 cards but not in Luke’s!! also i felt it odd he engraved a french word when the whole spanish neruda thing was RIGHT There. don’t get me wrong i love the card but… i wish it had been written and released way later than the second anniversary you know?

irt my in the moment reacts to SSR Orange Scent and then my day-after reacts/thoughts about the story's pacing

on the rushed aspect: i neednt add more there because yeah i go into why it's odd to me in my last response. like, mc even says it herself in the story, she thinks "one heart to heart wont fix all this" or something along those lines and she understands that!! but the story had to wrap up in one last act jkhVSHFKSJH SADS

....ive actually been thinking about it more and wondering now if the 3-act pacing/structure issues is less a fault of the card itself and more a fault of what was sposed to come before it. because like i said earlier, anniv 1 cards didnt feel rushed even if it they were also 3 acts because they were preceded by the overarching story of the Blossom Chapters. meanwhile.....the Sweet Chapters, while enjoyable, just dont do as much of a good job at developing the relationship mainly because their stories are shorter one-offs. each sweet chapter is self contained instead of leading into each other and that...i think that really showed its downside here with luke's anniv 2.

because if i had to remedy the pacing of the anniv 2 card without adding a scene in between act 2 and act 3....i would change it so that instead of mc referencing the double rainbow back in SSR Iridescent Heartbeat, she references some kind key event that happened in a more well developed previous sweet chapter story, an event that fits with mc's desire for luke to do things for himself and to listen to his own feelings, and express those feelings.

on the ring in the evolved cg: i......actually did not notice that hVOAHFASOFIASFKASBFOASFKA

on the word engraved on the ring: i really like devoument (however u spell it kjHVKJSF) for luke's ring!!! u have a point that a reference to neruda in spanish wouldve also been super fitting, tho idk, i loved that luke's word was devotion/sacrifice. since his devotion and sacrifice (and the Faults of his devotion and sacrifice) is so central in this card's story. is there a pablo neruda poem that uses a spanish word/term that has a similar definition? if yes, then that would So Very Much be a wonderful word as well to replace the french one.

on the "written and released later": i dont completely relate to this one! and thats alright! all of us are gonna be reacting and interpreting stories differently. frankly of all the boys, luke is the most fitting one imo to be proposing after one year of dating, given his circumstances and his worries. the "rushing" that i feel is less on luke's choices and more on the structural pacing of the story (and the stories that have come before it) but man....to me, luke Would propose this early.

tho i have not watched the other boys' anniv 2 cards yet!!! i really wanna watch marius'.....

[radiaking]

i think there are a few reasons coop didn't just immediately shoot lucy in filly, the primary reason being the fact that she hadn't actually pointed a weapon at him until she was finished. if u watch the scene in filly (and actually most scenes where he shoots someone), he is not the first person to point a weapon. the guys in the graveyard are already pointing guns at him. ma june specifically offers 1000 caps to anyone who kills him and he still waits until someone actually moves to fire their weapon before he shoots anyone. he shoots first every time bc he's just fucking quicker than everyone lmao.

but also there is def an aspect of him just not taking her very seriously as a threat so that's like. wasting bullets basically. she's pointing a gun at him that he knows will do fuck all to him so really he's just humoring her a bit tbh. and then max steps in and he's like okay let's just get this bitch outta the way and get back to what i was doing.

he's much more aggressive after that point bc he thinks she cut off wilzig's head so he's like oh okay no more fun and games, i'm getting right down to business, whacking her in the head w/his gun and using her as bait...etc etc etc.

[coreypettengillconceptart]

Going into this week's assignment I was unsure of exactly what I wanted to do, but knew I wanted it to be underground. I felt as though that setting would provide a whole heap of shadows and a high degree of control over light sources. I was also pulling inspiration from the mezzotints of Craig McPherson, and his piece "NY Water Tunnel" definitely contributed to the desire to create something underground. So I started out just making some thumbnails, while trying to figure out what direction ta wanted. As I went I was trying to focus on using interesting perspectives. It's something Leo suggested we do, and definitely something I want to work on, since I know perspective isn't my strong suit.

As I worked on the thumbnails I fairly quickly found myself drawn to the idea of some sort of underground cultists' church. I was rewatching "Cabinet of Curiosity" this week and the episode "The Graveyard Rats" was definitely an inspiration, as well as the Mario Bava film Black Sunday (La Maschera del Demonio) which I just rewatched as well. I initially went with layout #, though the perspective was such that while photobashing I was finding it difficult to make things look natural. Feeling behind and wanting to make sure I had a relatively polished piece to show I opted to switch to something more like 5 (which was among the layouts my family said they preferred). I also decided to get rid of the strong, striking light source behind the central statue. Beyond just the utility of controlling light sources, felt this scene being underground made the most sense for the concept, and that large light source felt decidedly above ground. So I moved on with this composition working back and forth with photobashing and painting over starting with a photo that had a similar perspective to the once I wanted. The design of the large central statue came from the photobashing process, finding bits of animals that I found interesting and seeing what fit.

When talking with Neal we focussed mostly on ways to bring more interest to the left of the composition. He suggested moving the statue and illuminated door way, as this would also make the silhouetted character's path more natural. I did try this approach, but felt the place where is started felt more natural to me. So I ended up moving the figure so they are entering from that secondary focal point and no longer need to bang a U-y to get anywhere. I also lightened up the left and added a foreground element, which was another of Neal's suggestions. Though neither of those changes are visibly on my current screen, hopefully they are when this blog gets reviewed. Additionally I changed the previous entryway into a stone staircase to help the scene feel more underground again.

After getting the composition to a place I was happy with I started playing around with color. I was mostly just playing around with trying to create different moods. I was also trying to decide how natural/supernatural the lighting should look. Especially those coming from within the church.

I did those the night before our lecture, and was planning to leave it there and see which color scheme my colleagues preferred. However the next morning I was in the mood to work on it some more, so I picked 5 and started the paint over.

When presenting my work I did learn which color schemes others preferred. Most liked 7 or 8, some voted 6, and only I liked 5. I guess I should have waited after all. Oh well, live and learn.

[thotbugatti]

The Audra Diaries

Hi. So recently, I had a silly and goofy idea. Before I even talk about it, let me hit you with a recommendation. If you haven’t already, watch Jenny Nicholson’s video about the Vampire Diaries. I was watching/listening to that video today for the umpteenth time despite never actually watching the show myself, and I figured I should go ahead and watch it for the first time. I don’t want to just watch it though because that’s lame, that’s boring. Instead, I’m going to sit down and review every single episode of the show. So here’s the plan: I’m going to share the bullet point notes that I take while watching the episode, then afterward I’m going to write an actual review for the episode. That’s it. (The notes themself are often out of context comments, which is something that I personally enjoy looking at because I think that kind of thing is funny). Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. :3

Season 1 Episode 1

• why was he just standing in the road and why did he land on his back so perfectly

•so if vampires turn people by biting them, why did it kill that guy

•the thing that CW shows do where they have to make every plot element super obvious through exposition is amazing

•I PREDICTED OBAMA!

• “I predict that we’ll get into a fatal car crash just like your parents huh *nudge*”

• TRANNY MESS??? HELLO????

• why is Jeremy just watching them make out walk away bro

• you’re STONED

• chill myself? What is that, stoner talk?

• give him a break damn your parents are dead girl

• she said hubba hubba

• hawt-e. staring (@) u

• CAW!

• why does the gravestone only have the death date and no birth dates

• she’s going to fist fight the crow

• why are you in a graveyard FREAK?! is he not allowed to be there why are YOU here

• there is a bloody gash in your leg and somehow you don’t feel a thing

• he stole her diary he’s a pervert

• “when’s the last time you hooked up with a puppy?”

• “you keep a journal too omg fuck me now pls”

• Matt looks like an anemic Heath Ledger

• running up that hill instrumental? Ope nope just a cover

• “cute becomes dumb in an instant” what teacher is talking like this to their students

• WHAT TEACHER HER PARENTS ARE DEAD BRO

• why does he have a confederate flag on his desk

• I’M DRUNKKKK 😭

• his smolder is so dreamy

• so if Jeremy didn’t show up would that guy have just r*ped her???

• fog monster FOG MONSTER

• so she was almost r*ped then she was murdered. If I didn’t know any better I’d say that TY killed her

• she’s not into you bro

• OMG my brother is drunk at the party where everyone is drunk what the FUCK

• omg secret brother

• the crow is my fav character

• Damon looks kinda like Glinner if Glinner looked normal

• so is Vicki alive or dead cause they took her away in the ambulance covered

• can vampires teleport in this universe what’s up

• I love the way that people drink beer in movies and tv. It’s always so animated

• she basically told him to get over the death of their parents. CHILL, it’s been 5 months, you’re not over it either

• Vicki: “vampire…” Matt: 😯

• mid 2000s shows all using Fray songs is so on the nose

Review: I actually kind of liked this pilot. I think it’s compelling enough on its own and establishes most of the characters well (with the exception of Jeremy). It’s certainly not without its, uh, dicey moments. Tranny mess? The confederate imagery? From what I can tell, there is 1 (one) black character in the show. Also, the way they transition between scenes can be a little jarring, but that’s not even exclusive to this show. It’s a very CW thing. I think the actor they got for Stefan is a pretty rock solid choice as well. The mysterious, hot boy vampire that serves as their answer to Edward Cullen, that doesn’t sound insanely awkward when he speaks. I’ve had my reservations about this show for a while now, but after the pilot, I’m at least a little interested to see how it goes, and that’s how a pilot should be.

(I’m also posting these on substack if you’re interested in that: https://open.substack.com/pub/thotbugatti/p/the-vampire-diaries?r=302je1&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post :) )