#before today i was like 'i've only ever written one fanfic at a time i am getting a good grade in focusing'

[waydownatthebottomofnovember]

someone needs to stop me from starting any more WIPs actually

[cartoonsinthemorning]

Ford and stan portal adventures

This is too vague for me to draw, BUT I can yap about it at length. Let's say this is an AU were, after their canonical fight, and activation of the portal, the diverge is that they BOTH get snatched inside. So we have a slowburn scenario were the 28yo twins end up in the multiverse together, having to rely on each other to survive in these bizarro worlds despite hating each other guts, but gradually mending their relationship. Best part of this scenario would be the sexual tension, at the beginning, when they keep have shouting matches but you can tell in good part it's to mask the frustration, because they missed each other and secretly want to make out. They would settle for more punching, turned wrestling match on the floor, turned wrestling with less clothes on. OH and you know what else would be fun, if this was a fanfic written by someone with crazy skills?? If, by the time they finally start to fuck regularly, the weird ass world they end up boning in is somehow integrated into the act. Idk idk, head empty, I can't come up with an example. But my imaginary Chad Writer would come up with something genius.

Now though. Funny coinky-dence that I'm answering to your message now, because just today I've seen a somewhat related fan art that really got my gears going:

So, dude58915 on twitter came up with this version, were 28yo Mullet Stan gets into the portal instead of Ford, but, once there, meets a much older Ford, from yet another dimension. NOW THAT'S what I want to see!! DAMN.

Imagine Stan seeing this masked dude- a suspicious bloke for sure- but still a HUMAN. He'd run after him, telling the mysterious man they should stick together, be a team! He's the only human he's ever seen in DAYS, since he ended up in this creepy shithole! And old!Ford just jerks his arm free from Stan's desperate grip, telling the younger man, coldly, that he's gonna have to make it on his own, before turning around to follow the coordinates on his multi-navigator, leaving Stan alone. Because Ford hates him. Ford hates Stan, even this one, even this Stan that evidently ended up in the portal, punished for his own stupid mistakes, for once. This Stan will die, and he deserves it, and Ford doesn't care. Expect that when he hears Stan scream, as he's getting attacked by some monster, Ford turns around and runs to save him.

And from that moment on, this Ford takes Stan under his wing, taking him to the next dimension with him. Ford's plan is to train this Stan decently enough- all the while keeping his own identity concealed- until the young man is able to fend for himself, and Ford will abandon him for real, this time.

Except that...this Stan doesn't know who Ford is, so he doesn't express any resentment or hate towards him. On the contrary: despite the old men being so cold and sometimes rude to him, resulting in /some/ shouting matches, Stan is grateful, and clearly fascinated by the cloaked man and his knowledge and fighting skills. Stan is like a clingy puppy...and Ford loves it. He would never EVER admit it to himself, but he does. He didn't feel this pleased, this important, in forever. And maybe, he's never seen Stann look at him with this level of adoration before, not even when they were kids. I'm gonna cut it short to the crass part: Stan has daddy issues, and gets incredibly attached to Ford, wants to please him. The "masked man" would inevitably get the hardest boner, feeling so needed, so special, the Sun itself that Stan gravitates around. They'd fuck. HELL, they'd end up making tender love, sometimes. And Ford would need to be extra careful, because he enjoys this docile, obedient Stan sucking his cock (figuratively and physically), and it would be a real shame if Stan was to find out it's just another version of his hated brother, he's ended up worshipping and taking inside him every night. Ford guesses the young man would be quite mad about the truth.

And with this ominous cliffhanger, I'll stop yapping, it's dinner time.

[mothdruid]

Within the past 72 hours the TGM fandom got a fire put under it's ass, for lack of a better term/phrase. Even though I'm not as active in the fandom anymore, it did make me want to talk about a few things. This isn't the first time that I've had to make a post similar to this, usually speaking about reblogs and keeping your fanfic writers feeling wanted within the fandom spaces, but today I'm going to talk more about fandom etiquette and my experiences in fandom spaces. So, if you want to hear my opinion on fandom etiquette, how I learned fandom etiquette, and my thoughts about the doxing situation that has happened, keep on reading.

My Fandom Experience.

The first fandom that I was ever a part of was The Hunger Games fandom in the 8th grade (if you don't include my anime fandoms). I was 12-13 at the time. This was when I was first introduced to Tumblr and being involved within a fandom online. At the time I was super young, barely even knew who I was as a person, let alone in a fandom space. All I did was reblog little gifsets and fawn over Josh Hutcherson. I remember getting my first hate anon, even though I didn't do anything that would generate that to even happen. Even when I was 12-13, I couldn't understand why anyone would send a hate anon. That was when I found out a friend of mine found my Tumblr and actually secretly hated me, so she sent me hate anons. Still, before I knew it was her I didn't understand.

Fandoms were a formative part of my childhood. I think that main one that helped form me though was the Supernatural (yeah, I know, eye roll), Naruto, and The Hobbit fandoms. I had made friends on Tumblr and Instagram through these fandoms. During these times was when I had first started consuming fanfiction. Specifically, destiel and thilbo fanfiction. This is how I started to find the things in fanfiction that I loved, and the things that I hated. Instead of sending hate to the writers for their thoughts and stories that I didn't agree with, I would back out of the story or just scroll past. Not only that, I also started to use the filters on AO3 constantly, ensuring that I was only reading the fics that I knew I'd enjoy. Also, I was careful to read warnings and tags prior to reading the fic. Never once did I blame the writer for something that I knew I didn't like and accidentally read or read for see what it was about.

After high school was when I started getting into fanfiction writing. I've written for a lot of fandoms during this time. The IT movies, Total Drama, Haikyuu, Attack on Titan, Marvel, Bridgerton, Top Gun: Maverick, and currently ASOIAF. As a writer I've never gotten hate, thankfully, but I have had a lot of friends that have. It's sad to see so many people who take the time to write, whether it's enjoyable or not, receive hate. As writers we are simply expressing our creativity for the things that we love. Since posting fanfiction on tumblr, I have experienced a lot of people pestering for new updates and when the next fic is, and so have a lot of other writers on here. Even though people only know us as a little icon and username, fanfiction writers are people. We have lives outside of writing fanfiction. Everyone also isn't the same type writer. One person may easily write multiple fics every week, some of us take longer, and some of us are even just passion writers (me lol).

The TGM fandom has been one of the most negative fandom experiences I've ever seen/had. It is full of some of the meanest people/anons I've ever seen. From writers being attacked for fic ideas, people being sent hate for something that the anon has full control over, and people constantly expecting new stories to read on the daily. Yes, I do know that other fandoms have these issues, but it seems to be almost a weekly, hell, even daily thing within this fandom. A lot of the issues that I see happen in this fandom are from people who don't understand fandom etiquette.

Fandom Etiquette.

If you had noticed there was a few things I put in bold above. These are key things that I learned during my time that attribute to fandom etiquette. So without further a do, I'll list out some fandom etiquette rules that I follow all the time.

Don't send hate anons to people

Block/unfollow people you don't like

If you don't like an idea or fic, don't read it

Read through all warnings and tags that the writer provided

Use AO3 filters

Don't blame the writer/creator for reading things they created that you actively know you don't like

Writers/Creators aren't "content farms"

There are people behind these blogs/usernames, treat them like someone you'd see on the street

Writers/Creators are expressing love/passion for something, don't hate them for doing that

If you see something fandom related that you don't like, scroll past it or ignore it

YOU CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE (ESPECIALLY ON TUMBLR)

The Doxing Situation.

For those who are unaware but decided to read this anyways, recently there was a writer (Mama Mayhem) on here who got doxed from another writer in the fandom. Mayhem has since lost her job due to the doxing. This was apparently from her breaking HIPAA by posting a picture into a private groupchat/discord. This picture was posted almost a half year ago. Meaning that the person who reported/doxed Mayhem had known about this picture for months and only recently decided to do something about it.

I'll start by saying that I also work in healthcare, and know many other people here who do. I understand that a HIPAA violation is 100% an offense that gets you fired. I'm not excusing the HIPAA violation if one did occur.

Some people have brought up the idea that maybe the person that reported the picture, and doxed Mayhem, was doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Due to the timeline of it all, that doesn't seem likely. I had a previous coworker get fired for HIPAA violations and it took a total of a week from the initial report for her to be gone.

The biggest thing I want to convey is that TWO WRONGS CAN HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, if Mayhem violated HIPAA, it is wrong. But at the same time, the person held onto this information for months only to use it out of spite, pettiness, and cruelty, is wrong.

My Thoughts.

Due to Mayhem being doxed, a lot of people have decided to leave this platform, take indefinite hiatuses, stop writing, or move to AO3 exclusively., and I don't blame them. I'll be honest, I'm thinking about moving to AO3 exclusively now. AO3 feels a lot more rewarding in my experience. I already only post my fics for ships to AO3, so why not just post everything on AO3 (which I usually do).

I think a lot of people have forgot what it feels like to feel shame in something they say or do. When I say this, it's directed towards people who send hate or do other malicious things in fandom spaces. Fandoms were never this clique-ish and mean. I think it has to do with the pandemic, meaning that a lot of people who would have never joined a fandom did because they weren't allowed to do anything outside of their house. So, those mean girls that made fun of fandom girlies (g/n) previously, joined the fandoms and decided started bullying the people within them.

This situation is super shitty and people are now scared. It makes complete sense, especially after seeing someone, that many of you were close to, be doxed. A lot of people are scared of it happening to them now. I don't think this fandom will be the same after this situation, but who knows, maybe everyone will just forget and move on. Either way, I think I'll be taking a step back from the TGM fandom. I'll still be here, but until further notice, I won't be posting any TGM fanfiction. Maybe a gifset/picture here and there, but I don't think this is a fandom I feel comfortable writing for anymore.

If you've read all of this, thank you.

[madrone33]

I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you Jorge. Thank you everyone who sung, and drew, and edited, and worked on EPIC: The Musical because you have all given me something that I will always - ALWAYS - remember and cherish.

I've been on this journey for over a year now, since Halloween 2023 when WolfyTheWitch posted a random short of Poseidon with the coldest musical lyrics I've ever heard. Ruthlessness brought me to this project, to this fandom. I was in all the events my timezone could reach, posted and messaged and freaked out with fellow fans on discord and tumblr and youtube and tiktok and twitch. I scoured the whole internet to find every piece of music, read the interviews, watched every livestream - most notably of which were the Ocean Crowdcast stream, the Circe Stream Crash of 2024, the Policy Violation Stream, and the IRL Odyssey streams XD

I got my family into it and was able to gush and rant and ramble to them about it; I've made so many friends because of this, and entered so many other fandoms too: MHSG, Udad, PJO, Hadestown, JCS, Lucids, DEH, and so many, many more; I've made essays and graphs and spreadsheets and analysis, discussing and picking apart the themes, characters, music details, motifs, lyrics; My voice has grown leaps and bounds because of how much I sing out loud now, I learned the songs on the piano, I started drawing?? I've written almost 112k words of fanfic for Epic, it's insane (and also not written down so much more LMAO). I even went out of my comfort zone and posted some of my writing and my covers which is CRAZY and nerve wracking and really fun!

Each saga I was left completely stunned and awestruck. Each saga I thought "surely, nothing can top this" and yet EVERY TIME I was blown away again the next time. The writing, the singing, the voice acting, the visuals, the orchestration, the lyrics, everything is just- !!!

Jorge. Miguel. Rivera-Herrans. HOW?? It's so good! It's SO GOOD!! And everyone's voices?? Everyone, just everyone is just talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same- THIS MUSICAL IS PURE ART, A MASTERPIECE OF A LEVEL HITHERTO UNKNOWN, THE LIKES OF WHICH MAY NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN. The fact that I was born in this spot in time, able to experience and appreciate and bask in the light of this glorious concept musical?? I am unfathomably lucky, and I thank the musical gods that it is so.

This past year has been one hell of a journey. I laughed a lot, I wrote lmao while actually only internally laughing a lot, I was tired and comforted and excited and anxious, I cried which I'm almost never able to do with media; Every day I would wake up and immediately check my phone for an upload notification, which is how I caught the Livestream today instead of missing it, so phew; I felt burned out sometimes, but managed to catch it and diversify my activities a bit, sinking into something else for a while before coming back refreshed and even more excited; My entire music wrapped this year was Jorge, Epic cast members' independent music, and greek mythology musicals; I watched the fandom grow even more, all the art, the fanfic, the theories, the memes, the friends.

I still don't think it's fully sunk in yet, but the entire musical is out now. It's done. I'm watched from saga three to nine, from Ocean to Ithaca. I've been here, every day, for a year. This is something that I don't think I'll ever experience again. I am so so thankful.

Thank you, Jorge, for bringing this into the world. What would it be, five and a half years now that he's been creating EPIC? He should be so proud, because I'm sure as hell proud. Odysseus finally made it home. The story is over.

But still, as Jorge said - This not the end of the journey, this is just the end of a chapter; the journey goes on!!

And I'll be here, taking that journey with you.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

June Creator of the Month: Thosehallowedhalls

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month is @thosehallowedhalls.

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I can't remember exactly. 2021, I think? Laws of Attraction was on its tenth chapter.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined in January of this year. I was upset with Crimes of Passion 2, so I wrote a couple of stories about it. I had deactivated my old Tumblr long ago, so I had to open a new one.

3- How did you pick your blog name?

I love old buildings - the history, the ambiance. I tried hallowedhalls, but it was taken, so I added the article.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!

I… have zero recollection of this post. But I'm big on nostalgia and mourning past times, so the fact that this was my first post tracks.

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both?

I write fanfiction. I've been teaching myself to draw, but I'm not anywhere near close to sharing what I do.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I started writing fanfiction way back in… 2010? For about four or five years. Then I stopped until December 2023.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Crimes of Passion on both counts.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

That would be The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm, inspired by The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. I do still like it, but I would tighten up the writing a bit. I had barely written any fiction for several years at that point, and the lack of practice shows.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created?

I keep going back and forth between The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm and Home Without. Both are angsty short series.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I was taken aback by the comments on The 2 AM Christmas Tree Farm. I'd posted it on AO3 a few weeks before, and had gotten a handful of kudos and one comment, but within 24 hours of posting it here, I had several lovely reblogs. It was a welcome surprise. Stories with fewer comments… I guess Home Without. The first chapter got quite a bit of love, but by the time the final chapter rolled around, fewer people were interacting.

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I love a balance, but I'd say angst with a happy ending. I enjoy the breadth of emotions angst lets you explore.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are bits and pieces of me in all of them. Emma has my sarcasm, and Raine has my need to look for the best in people. There may be more, but if so, it wasn't done intentionally.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Perfectionism. Like I said before, the lack of writing practice shows. I know that the only way to get better is to keep writing, but I hate seeing the gap between what I do and what I want to do. Catch-22.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

My Sebastyan x Emma fic, Of Cloudless Climes and Starry Skies. There are only a couple of chapters left, but I've been struggling with it for a couple of months now.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first?

Oh, hell no.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

So many writers have influenced my writing throughout the years, including authors I do not currently read. The Brontë sisters, Charles Dickens, Nora Roberts, Jane Austen, Courtney Milan, Alyssa Cole… I could go on and on. Fanfic writers… There are a lot, but off the top of my head, @inlocusmads, @coffeewithcutcaffeine, @gaiuskamilah, @aria-ashryver, @jerzwriter, @dutifullynuttywitch, @aces-and-angels, @petalouda85, and @storyofmychoices. I know there are more.

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Home Without. I'm a sucker for good pining, and I'd love to see all that mutual longing play out onscreen - not to mention that reunion.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art?

I do. I'm currently working on a horror short story, a MG novel, and a dual timeline mystery that's still in the research stages.

19- What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, non-fandom writing, drawing, learning new things (especially languages!), going on walks, and drinking enough coffee to alarm medical professionals anywhere.

[neil-neil-orange-peel]

A Bastard's Carol: a work of fanfiction by scumbaganarchy 💣

Season's greetings, scumbags! I hope you're all having a pleasant day. I come bearing a gift (of a sort):

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1we8qEVul2PTWFCtaVqyyXccVg8-xZBte/view?usp=sharing

A huge thank you to @viviangreeneart for the awesome art! ❤️ It turns out we should all definitely be making fake novel docs out of our fanfic. It's good for the soul.

Some pretentiousness about ABC below the cut.

Just over five years ago, a naiver version of me had the idea of writing a Young Ones/Rivyan parody of A Christmas Carol. She started actually writing for this idea in December 2019... and promptly discovered it was going to be a whole lot bigger than she'd anticipated. With one chapter posted before the big day, she decided to kick the rest into the new year.

That new year was 2020.

Yes, that 2020. Although, to be fair, what other one could I be talking about?

We'll skip all of that. None of us need to relive it.

One year, two or three lockdowns, and four indefensibly long chapters later, ABC was finally done and dusted in December 2020. It stood at around 60K words, making it by far the longest thing I'd ever written. I guess we all had to spend that empty time doing something, right?

Followers of this blog will have noticed, I'm sure, that I've never shut up about ABC since. Maybe you even rolled your eyes when you saw the title of this notification? Uh oh, she's going on about that old thing again...

Yep.

Look, I'm incredibly bad at hyping up my own work - self-deprecation is a bad habit, but a common one - and the more time that passes between who you were when you wrote something and who you are today, the harder being positive about it can get.

I was 18 when I wrote ABC. I had only gotten back into writing properly at 17. The whole work went through one major copy edit a year or so ago, when I knew a little more about writing - but I still didn't know as much then as I do now, and I suspect (and hope) the same will be true for a future version of myself when she looks back on my writing from this time.

All of this is to say, sometimes ABC reads to me as something written by somebody else. 18 year old me didn't write exactly the way I do now; she hadn't gotten the Bachelor of Arts cheat code boost that I have. But she was extremely passionate. She did love the bastards Rik and the gang created with all her heart. She'd also studied A Christmas Carol for her GCSEs only a couple of years previously, so she did at least understand the text she was taking a chainsaw to. I think all of this mattered. I think this gave ABC heart.

But what's my point in saying all of this (again)?

For a very long time, I've wanted but held back on commissioning an artist to draw me a cover. Well, no more. Truly, thank you ever so much to @viviangreeneart for indulging me and creating something fabulous for this old fic of mine. Thank you too to everyone who has ever commented on or kudos'ed ABC on ao3 over the years. It really does mean more to me than I can say.

Having dropped a new and flashy PDF decked out like an actual novel, here's the link to ABC on ao3, which will always be its home:

Merry Christmas, scumbags. Cliff bless us, Everyone!

[matt-roseheart]

I 'Lava' you

A short murder drones fanfic based on @dronebiscuitbat 's characters from their rp blog, @ask-elliot-doorman-fam, Tera and Kiara, Rad is here too :P

Kiara paced around the hideout cave, nervously fiddling with her fingers. "What if she doesn't like it? What if she thinks its too cheesy? what if-" Her rant is cut off by Rad trying to calm her down.

"Kia chill, this is Tera you're talking about, sure she may be tough, but every tough person i know has a soft and squishy side that loves this stuff" He says, as he's on the couch tuning a ukulele. "So, lets go over the plan one more time before shes back from checking the perimiter"

Kiara takes a deep breath, which doesn't help much to calm her nerves, "Okay, we're here becase you are 'practicing' for the short-story musical Mr.Roseheart is hosting,"

"Which is thankfully real, couldn't think of an exuse otherwise" He adds.

"Mhm, and hopefully she'll agree to sing along, oh robo-god i hope she'll sing along, she has to for this to work" Kia was nervous about that part, Tera had a beautiful voice, but only ever sang in the privacy of her room. Hopefully the hideout would be enough to bring her out of her shell a bit, no chances of others overhearing her here.

Before Kiara could linger on that thought, there was a sudden whoosh at the entrance, meaning Tera was back. Kia rushed to a seat, put on headphones, and brought up her laptop to a blank page, pretending to be writing something. No stories would be written today, only some of her thoughts going a million miles an hour, dont screw this up please work i have to tell her.

"okay, outside is clear, so Rad, why did you bring a ukulele again?" Tera asked, as she sat down on the other side of the couch.

"Oh, you know the musical Mr.Roseheart is gonna be hosting?" Wait, did she even know about that?

"The music teacher? Uh, yeah i think I've heard about that. Isn't it about a bunch of short-stories instead of one big one? My dad seems pretty interested in going." N had seemed exited when he heard about it, even wanted to audition.

Oh thank robo-god

"Yup, a friend of mine that auditioned asked if i could help with their story, so im here to practice"

"Ok, cool"

"And i was hoping you could help."

"Oh? with what? Guitar?"

"Vocals, i struggle on my own when theres multiple characters singing"

Oh no, she did not like the sound of that.

"I am NOT going anywhere near a stage and singing, no way!" Tera growled, which made kiara more nervous.

"No no no, just for practice, only here. The only audience being Kia" Rad said, as he motioned over to where Kiara was sitting. "The part I need you to sing is basically the same line over and over a few times anyway, please?" He was looking up at her with puppy eyes, hoping to convince her.

Tera hesitated for a moment, normally she wouldn't, but in this case, it was just the three of them, no prying ears to worry about, so why not. "Ugh, fine. But if a video of this starts floating around, you're dead. whats the song?"

"Do you know the song 'Lava'?" She should, Kiara made sure to show her, hoping Tera would listen to it for this.

"That cheesy lovesong between two volcanoes? Yeah, i think Kia showed that to me a while ago"

Good, so far the plan is working "Cool, I'll be the narrator, so all you need to sing is the volcano's part. Do you know the words?"

"He basically says the same thing over and over, so yeah, whenever you're ready." Wow, Kiara was suprised, this is going a lot smoother than she thought it would.

With Tera ready, Rad began to play, and sing suprisingly well, like he's practiced before....

"A long long time ago, there was a volcano, living all alone in the middle of the sea."

"He sat high above his bay, watching all the couples play, and wishing that he had someone too."

"And from his lava came, this song of hope that he sang out loud, every day for years and years" With her part coming up, Tera cleared her throat and began.

"I have a dream I hope will come true, that you're here with me, and I'm here with you, I wish that the earth sea and the sky up above will send me someone to lava"

"Years of singing all alone turned his lava into stone, until he was on the brink of extinction"

"But little did he know that living in the sea below, another volcano was listening to his song"

"Every day she heard his tune her lava grew and grew because she believed his song was meant for her"

"Now she was so ready to finally meet him above the sea as he sang his song of hope for the last time"

"I have a dream I hope will come true, that you're here with me, and I'm here with you, I wish that the earth sea and the sky up above will send me someone to lava"

At that part, Kiara began to remove her headphones and close her laptop, nervously making her way over behind Tera.

"Rising from the sea below stood a lovely volcano, looking all around but she could not see him"

"He tried to sing to let her know that she was not there alone, but with no lava his song was all gone"

"He filled the sea with his tears as he watched his dreams dissapear as she remembered what his song meant to her"

Tera was about to sing the next part, thinking nothing of it, until someone else began to sing, making her jump as she turned around to see Kiara.

"I have a dream I hope will come true, that you're here with me, and I'm here with you, I wish that the earth sea and the sky up above will send me someone to lava"

Tera was caught off guard, by both her singing and the fact that Kia reached out to hold her hand that was resting on the arm of the couch. Theres no way, is she....

As Tera realised what she was doing, Rad continued the song.

"Oh they were so happy to finally meet above the sea, all together now their lava grew and grew"

"No longer are they all alone with aloha as their new home, and when you visit them this is what they sing" Tera, now holding onto Kiara's hand, hoping this wasn't a dream, continued with her.

"I have a dream i hope will come true"

"That you'll grow old with me"

"And I'll grow old with you"

"We thank the earth sea and the sky we thank too"

"I Lava you"

"I Lava you"

"I Love you"

Tera's face was all blush, lighting up the cave with a lavender glow, along with Kia's equally bright white blush. They sat there staring at eachother in awe for a minute before Kia broke the silence.

"Was that too cheesy?"

Tera stood and said, "Not at all, you weren't practicing for the musical, were you?" she asked looking over at thad.

"Nope, this was all her idea" He motioned over towards Kiara.

"So did you like it?" She asked nervously.

"I loved it" Tera said, before placing a kiss on Kia's forehead, nearly sending her into a reboot.

"Oh! I think I need to sit down" Tera sat back down, with Kia sitting next to her.

As Tera put her arm around Kiara, she let out a sigh of relief, everything went perfectly, and she couldn't be happier.

[a-student-out-of-time]

5 Years Later

So...I admit I didn't really have anything big planned for today ^^;

But today- September 12th, 2024- is the 5th Anniversary of when A Student Out Of Time began. I started this blog based on a simple whim, after I'd completed playing 999 with a friend and read H.P. Lovecraft's The Shadow Out Of Time. I asked myself "Hey, what if Hajime went back in time and tried to prevent the Tragedy?"

Now, this wasn't the first story blog I'd ever written. I had a couple early ones that I'm a little too embarrassed to share or discuss, but my biggest one was The Starship Hope, which also began on a whim all the way back in 2018. I was on a walk through the second neighborhood I lived in back in California, and I asked myself "What if the V3 Cast were actually in space?"

While I still have some fondness for that one, I don't believe I really found my footing as a writer until we got deep into this one. I had a tendency to just write whatever sounded cool or I got a little too shippy about some things. Then I really sat down and started planning out arcs, and we built things up from there...

...And now here we are, five years later, and I'm still doing this. Not only that, it's become so much bigger than I ever thought it would. Early on, I had one anon tell me that they weren't convinced that this blog would never last, because story blogs like this never do. I still think about that person now, and I really have to thank them because that was when I decided I'd commit to it.

Thanks to that, I've met so many new friends, been introduced to great things, inspired others to pursue their own stories and creative ambitions, and we even have a whole set of pages on TV Tropes. Almost 1,200 have decided to follow me, and that's not even counting how many have read this story and simply not made their presence known. In short, it really has helped change my life.

It hasn't been easy, and there have been times where I've thought about quitting or deleting the whole thing. There have been some dark moments, some bad arcs, some ideas that didn't pan out as I'd hoped. But even so, I always took them as learning experiences and chose not to quit.

More importantly, I've helped inspire people to check out one of my favorite series of all time, I've given them a work they can enjoy, and all this has in turn helped me refine my own writing skills and figure out the sort of writer I hope to become one day. Seeing people enjoy what I do or just curious to hear what my thoughts are, it really does inspire me to keep going.

It's also so wild to see how much Danganronpa has evolved as a series in time since I started all this. I got involved in the DR Tumblr fandom back in early 2016, before Danganronpa 3 was even out yet. I remember how much we were clamoring for it and V3, how controversial their story decisions were, and how many people didn't want it to end. They wanted to tell their own stories and do their own spins on the concept, and that's how we got so many different fangans in so many mediums- other games, videos, instagram, fanfics, and some here on Tumblr.

Danganronpa Another, SDRA2, DR: Rebirth, Despair Time, Blowback, TheAfter, Rocky Restarts, DR Mauve, DR Lapse, Brave DR: Coward's Paradise, Eternal Endings, Shattered Hope, Heartless Deceit, Eden's Garden, Antebellum, and so many others.

I got into both Zero Escape and AI: The Somnium Files, both great series in their own right. And now we have another SC game on the way, The Hundred Line- Last Defense Academy, which looks pretty interesting too.

In short, it's been a long 5 years.

Do I plan to keep going? Uh, yeah. We're nearing the conclusion of Season 2, and I have many ideas for Season 3. I intend to keep doing this as long as I'm able and as long as people want me to, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

More than anything, I'm just happy people enjoy the work I do. The support I've received over this last half a decade have been nothing short of inspiring, and I'm glad that people are always happy to see me update no matter how long it's been.

My life has had many ups and downs in the time I've been doing this, but being able to look at all this and say that I helped create a community and inspired people to pursue their own ambitions? It makes it all worth it ^^

What happens when it does all eventually conclude? I wouldn't worry about it. I do have an ending idea in mind, but we're nowhere near that yet. Season 2 has had some of our best arcs so far, and I think Season 3 could even turn out to be even better, but I won't get too ahead of myself.

I'm glad I'm still doing this, and I'm glad for every single person who decided that this silly little Danganronpa fanfiction blog was worth their time to get invested in. When I get things together a bit more and I start publishing my own original stories, I hope you'll follow me on my journey there as well.

Thank you guys for everything!

Here's to another 5 years ^^

[the-great-elwisty]

Neverember Day 1: Home

#a/n. I had the first few hundred words of this written already and lurking on my harddrive. I've now turned it into a full scene. It was actually meant to be three scenes, but time just isn't playing along and I'm about to fall asleep. 😴 It features the protagonist of my main NWN2 fanfic universe plus Georg Redfell No proofreading has happened yet. Will try to do that tomorrow!

She smoothed down her tunic, checked the soles of her boots were clean, and ran a hand through her hair in case the charm she used on it had gone flat in the humidity. Then, putting on what she hoped was her best, most winning smile, she knocked.

Georg’s door was open already, but announcing her presence seemed like the classy thing to do. A Mossfeld would lumber straight in and kick splinters off the doorframe at the same time. One of the hearty, good-natured, and boring Lannon clan would yell whatever was on their mind from the threshold in a voice moulded for summoning cattle home over mudflats. If her stepfather needed the ear of the village mayor, he’d appear like a winter ghost from the shadows of the inglenook, deliver a few sentences held tweezered at arm’s length by his cold monotone, then vanish before the possibility of conversation could arise.

I’m going to be better than that, she thought. No, I am better than that.

“Afternoon, Georg.”

The mayor of West Harbour was at his desk, a parchment in front of him. Although he was a big man, and the quill he was using seemed too small for his farmer’s – and swordsman’s – hand, he held it nevertheless with an easy, correct, grip, the index finger and thumb resting lightly a half inch above the nib. Just in the way that Tarmas had taught her and that she now endeavoured to teach the village children in turn.

“Lila. By the mercy of Chauntea, is the village burning down? It’s not midday yet, and you’re out of bed.”

Once, or twice, or perhaps a few dozen times during her adolescence, she’d been late for shared tasks or appointments after sleeping soundly through first light and later. It was one of several details of her history that Georg would never let her forget. But it could be worse: he never mentioned Cormick. Nor did he mention lizardmen, druids or her last abysmal escape attempt.

In submission to the joke, she gave a deep bow and spread her arms so that the long sleeves of her tunic touched the plain floorboards.

Georg squinted past her. “Dragons?” He craned further. “Rakshasas?”

“Ah ha,” she said flatly and raised an eyebrow. As often with Georg, she felt trapped in a place between annoyance and laughter. “Dragons say they can’t make it today. The rakshasa are going to Stormwreck Isle instead for the climate.” 

“We’ve got the best climate of anywhere between the sea and The Green Dragon.”

“There are no other villages between the sea and The Green Dragon.”

“There’s the Tumble and – “

“–and the caves and the ruins and the mystery band of swamp druids that only you ever see.” She’d reached for the wrong example there: Georg span up oddities and fancies all the time to populate his stories.

But the druids were real, or as real as anything ever was in marsh fever country. Bevil had said that Simon had told him that his girl Runcie had overheard Orlen talking to Daeghun about trading with some druids who were camping in the lea of Faross Tower. Of course, she’d grabbed him and Amie and gone to investigate, slogging a mile out across the home salt flats in a mizzle rain, only to reach the little meadow under the crumbling lighthouse and find nothing there. Not a thread of strange cloth, not a silver pin, not a nut.

“That’s right. We’re better here than all that lot. When I was a lad in Daggerdale–”  

“A tenday ago it was Amn,” she pointed out.

“When I was a lad in Daggerdale, after I lived in Amn and before I moved to Halruaa for the business with the harpies which I told you about before,” said Georg, reshuffling his details without smiling or pausing to blink, “I would never have believed myself so lucky as to live in a place without real winters or summers.” “Last winter the lake froze, and we all put sledge runners on the boats.”

“In Daggerdale the snow drifts come up past your eyebrows. Every winter you sit in your cabin, living on rations, waiting to see if the first thing to dig through to you will be your friends or a horn-toothed snowgre with a toasting fork.”

Snowgre was a new one. A muscle in her face must have twitched somewhere, because Georg opened his eyes wide in a display of earnest credulity that might have convinced a child, if the child was very young and very naïve.

Had there ever been a point when she believed Georg’s stories? She would like to think that she’d come into the world wise to them, but she also had a stubborn memory of once upon a time excavating a three-foot hole along with Bevil because some respected authority figure had told them that a djinn’s flask locked in a golden casket could be found down there. Retta Starling had marched in to pull them out just as the lustrous, slithering clay walls began to collapse in on their creators.

And for days afterwards, going back to that spot and imagining the glittering casket in the earth, still safe in its dark blanket, just a little further away than she could reach.

“Anway, Georg–” she pressed her nerves down, and tried to sound casual yet also confident and good in a fight. Not like the woman who’d missed the militia’s only real battle because when it happened she’d been in a rocky hollow to the south of West Harbour, persuading a line of ants to turn in a circle to the beat of her tabor, and hadn’t heard the yelling to the north. “I wanted to ask about that escort you’re putting together to meet Galen at the Green Dragon this summer. I’d like to volunteer.”  

“Thought you might,” said Georg. “Yes, the escort…” He massaged the edge of his aged desk with his thumb.

“Setting out a month before the fair, I heard, and going up to Leilon first, then down to the Dragon.” When she was growing up, there’d been constant traffic between Leilon and the village. Well, regular traffic. One caravan per month, at least. Then, when she was of age and desperate to see more of the world than the swamp, it had all died away. Patches of reeds were already colonising he straight road north, and pools lay thick across it for most of the year.

“That’s right.”  

Georg looked at her. She’d carefully composed a list of reasons why she should be included in the escort, and they all abandoned her. She suspected they hadn’t been brilliant reasons in any case. If you want to make sure a merchant can travel safely to your harvest fair, then sending him the toughs with combat experience rather than the local schoolteacher might strike you as a better option.

Gods, the bastard was going to send the Mossfelds, wasn’t he? Galen might be better off chancing the orcs and lizards on his own. At least the standards of conversation would be higher.

There was something she didn’t like in his expression. He had started to avoid her gaze. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “And Galen won’t be counting on just me, though I swear I won’t let anything happen to him. I’ll keep him safe.” She paused. “I’ll even get up militia drill early.”

Georg shook his head. “It’s not that.” He threw his quill down on the desk and leaned back in his chair. Flexed his fingers, then folded his arms over his chest. “I’m withdrawing the offer of an escort. Orlen and Daeghun and a few of the others say it’s getting more dangerous out in the depths of the Mere. More of the usual, and there’s worse things crawling out of the bric-a-brac the ancients left us with, bless their souls. The capable people we have should stay here.”

He gave her the kind of serious look that meant that he was including her among the capable people. She supposed she should have feel somehow buoyed up by that. In times past, she surely would have.

His skin was dark, though not as dark as hers. The corners of his eyes crinkled readily into laughter lines, and one side of his mouth rose a little higher than the other when he smiled. He wasn’t her blood father, but he and Retta and Tarmas between them had almost made up for her lack of parents.

They had none of them taken her away from Daeghun though. That was the heart of the problem. Georg was much cleverer than he pretended, and he’d been happy to clown for her when she was a child, nudge her into taking on responsibilities as she grew older, and trade jokes with her as an adult. But the thing she’d really needed – to grow up with a foster carer who didn’t hate the sight of her – that he hadn’t been willing to do. Just like he wouldn’t get involved with Kipp and his family now.

“Let me know if you change your mind,” she said, careful not to let any anger show. Alienating the village mayor would be – what was that phrase in Tarmas’s latest circular? – casting seconds before centuries.

“It’s West Harbour, lass. If I change my mind, you’ll know before I do.”

She plastered on her best smile and went out.

Well, that was another escape plan struck off. Time for the next one.

[nerdytreeflower]

Sunshine: Prologue

Derek Morgan X Reader

Summary: Bestfriends. Or something close to that anyway. That's what they are, but after one wine-fuelled night's sleep and a whole load of tossing and turning, one side of the friendship becomes strained. Derek Morgan wants to know why. Which is when the perfect opportunity comes from the pipecleaner with eyes and she has no choice but to confront the feelings she believes are one-sided. Confrontation and serial killers seem like a good mix, right? That's what I thought.

Chapter CW: 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: Okay, so here is the prologue of the first fanfic I have ever written so constructive criticism is extremely welcome. And yes, I have written this statement before somewhere but also please keep in mind I am easily hurt so any mean comments will quite possibly reduce me to tears.

Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

It was all Reid's idea. Even if that's not what Hotch believed, the young genius had a way of suggesting ideas in a broad term and leaving it to another member of the team to own the epiphany of the actual idea itself. Whether it be for their egos or his exhaustion from having to be the smart one all the time she hadn't quite figured it out. All she knew was that stupidly innocent smile the doctor had sent her when Hotch suggested that the two agents going undercover to catch the unsub would be Morgan and herself. And that their cover would be a married couple.

She did not doubt that this case could be done just as successfully with any other combination of agents on the team, but one quip made it clear that, in their unit chief's opinion, she and Morgan would accurately fit the victimology. No further objections were made on her end, especially as the first she made was met with a teasing remark from the object of her struggles himself.

"What, you scared to get a little action, Sweetheart?" he had teased, any other day prior she would have met his teasing head-on, even flirting back a little. But today she avoided as much eye contact as she could, looking down at the file that showed the case and where they would be staying as the resort didn't want the reputation of the establishment and they had the backing of some frequent customers that were high up on the BAU's hierarchy. Ergo, the covert observation and investigation.

"I just want to make sure we are the best qualified for this, the choice of agents we use could determine if we catch this guy." Hotch nodded and out of the corner of her eye, she could see the shift in Morgan's expression. The last thing she wanted to do was make him doubt her trust in him, as backup or as a friend.

"This is the decision I've made and I believe it to be the most representative of this unsub's victimology," Hotch explained as if understanding her concern. Spencer was still smiling, looking proud of himself. She couldn't help but think that none of this would have happened if they hadn't invited him on one of their girl's nights out.

"We need more shots! I'm going to get more shots!" Penelope left despite the refusal of the others at the bar table, she put her head in her arms with laughter bubbling up her throat. 

"Hotch is going to kill us if we come in hungover tomorrow," she whined and the others groaned and laughed, all bubbled up by the cocktails prior.

"Can you blame her? I too want to see how well Boy Genius here handles tequila," Emily huffed, nudging Spencer who already looked dazy, empty glasses in front of him.

"Think of it as the initiation," JJ teased and he had the sense to look slightly wary.

"What do I get once I've passed the initiation?"

"Rather cocky, aren't we?"

"Well, I-"

"Relax, Spence, once you've passed the initiation then you get full access. All the things we talk about, all the gossip and secrets we share- you are privy to." His eyes lit up, knowledge was something he always craved, there was little left of factual knowledge he could absorb, but opinions and new events? He knew nothing of them, his curiosity was peaked.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" two tequila shots are placed in front of him and all four girls look at him expectantly. He winced and threw back the first one, face looking like he was chewing on a lemon but it passed after a couple of seconds and the next one went down. They cheered and all leaned into the table, as if ready to start whispering.

"Okay, what's the first piece of gossip we can think of," she asked but immediately regretted it when they all turned to her.

it was now a week later, on their first case since that night, and just over two weeks since she had not been able to look Derek Morgan in the eye because of her stupid subconscious' need to ruin one of the most important relationships in her life. Before, they would flirt playfully, and hang out together constantly, they were, as PG put it, "Practically Besties". 

Now, if she could help it they wouldn't even look each other in the eye, she could tell that it was driving him crazy trying to figure out what happened, what he did. But it wasn't what he did, it was what she did, well more specifically what she dreamed that had changed the entire view of their relationship in her eyes. Not that she could say anything, lest it be ruined further by her selfish desires to make something impossible out of something she already had.

When she zoned back in, everyone was standing, "Wheels up in 50, Morgan, Sunny, does that give you enough time to gather what you need?" Hotch asked and she nodded, packing up her files and rushing out the door as if her tail was on fire. She grabbed her bag and made her way to the elevator, ignoring the call to hold the door, and immediately left the building, getting in her car and driving home to pack her bags for the possible two-week-long case that would require her acting head-over-heels in love with one of her best friends. She just wished that acting was all it was.

Derek Morgan was not known for his humility. His looks, his ability to sweet-talk the clothes right off a woman's body, and his increasing ability to be a thorn in the side of the financial department of the BAU? Maybe. ('The doors, Derek. The doors' she had once explained to him when one of the suit-wearing lower floor employees was glaring at him from the coffee machine) But not his humility.

This was a mistake of quick judgement, anyone who had known him for as long as the team had would tell you, that in fact, Derek Morgan was kind-hearted and surprisingly modest when it came to many areas of his life. 

One of those areas just happened to be her.

He was a profiler; he got paid to practically translate the minds of people others in the criminal justice system could barely dream of empathising with. In layman's terms, he got paid to read people. Consequently, he was also great at fending off similar intuitions from his coworkers that housed the same abilities- good at hiding things from most people.

However, the new and unforeseen pivot of the once strong and budding connection he had with his teammate had thrown him off completely, to a point where he had trouble pulling the wool over even the most oblivious member's eyes. One day they were trading flirtatious and witty remarks over the barrier between their desks and the next she couldn't even make eye contact, she wouldn't as shown by her immediate dismissal of any attempt to communicate within the past week. He was starting to feel the long-term effects of the lack of attention on her part like a withdrawal. 

Like a flower that once preened in a warm wash of intense sun only to be left stretching for even a scrap of light when it was rooted solidly to the ground, blocked from the single isolating cloud that didn't appear to overshadow the rest of the meadow. He had been deprived of his sunlight and it was driving him insane, he depended on her attention for warmth and satisfaction. And even worse he didn't know why, what had he done to make her stop shinning on him? 

He had tried so hard over the past several days once he had noticed something awry, but every time he started up a conversation it was shot down. Not impolitely, but certainly, not friendly either, not the person he had grown to expect over the years, to cherish- the extremes to which he would go to see her smile at him were getting ridiculous, he was an addict and she was selfishly depriving him.

Derek Morgan was distraught.

A small modicum of hope bloomed in his chest when he heard their new assignment. Despite the obviously horrific serial killer, it was one that would not fail to get his heart racing even without the currently present cold turkey from his vice, one he would at any given time derive immense joy from being as close to her as the assignment would entail.

That hope was then snuffed out as she didn't make eye contact, didn't respond to the tease he baited her with, and ran away as soon as the meeting was over, not even holding the elevator door for him whether it be through lack of hearing or effort he did not know. What he did know was that this assignment was happening, that the decision was already made by the higher-ups, and the fact that they would be spending at least the next week together was irrefutable. And his chance to find out whatever he had done and fix it.

A/N: Please comment any and all constructive criticisms you may have!

[stabby-stabby-yall]

Madaparty theme 1: Penguins!

I've so busy I didn't have time to prep anything so

Here's my first ever public fanfic!! Written in two days and almost completely unedited. I'm so tired I might actually be sick ngl.

Summary: When Private finds out that Rico's birthday is coming soon, he begs Skipper to throw a party. But things keep going wrong, and no one is sure they'll meet their deadline.

(can also be read on ao3!)

Skipper wakes up at six am on the dot, ready to take full advantage of his team's free schedule for the next week. The zoo had temporarily closed due to a ‘dangerous and unexplainable chasm’ that appeared in front of the entrance overnight the day before. He would be concerned if it weren't for the fact that he knew Kowalski and Rico snuck out to perform weapons testing that night. He gets his much needed coffee, before promptly turning all the lights to their highest settings.

“Up and at ‘em boys! We've got a packed day, full of team building exercises!” He grinned at his team's groans. Did they really think he wasn't going to use this opportunity to get in some bonding?

“Sir,” Kowalski groaned from his bunk, “with all due respect, do you really think team building exercises are the best way for us to spend the only free week we get until winter?”

“Positive, now on your feet soldiers!”

Private slid out of his bunk, looking half awake and like he'd lost a fight with his blanket it was so tangled. “Please, can't we have the week off? Or at least the day?” he looked at him with such pitiful eyes Skipper almost gave in right there, but his resolve remained strong.

At least until Kowalski pointed out that “Where will we even go? Our regular exercise area is under construction, remember?” He shot a look at Rico, who looked away nervously.

“Of course I do!” He had, he Just- didn't process that most of their team building exercises required the open area of the entrance to pull off. “But I guess if you're all going to be a bunch of nancy cats, we can wait until winter.” His team cheered, before Kowalski and Rico split off into the lab and garage respectively. Private moved to turn on the TV, until Skipper set a flipper in front of him.

“What do you think you're doing, soldier?”

“Oh- the Lunacorn’s movie is airing today! I was going to watch it before I got spoiled.” He shot him a bright smile and asked, “Do you want to watch it with me, Skippah?”

Skipper, who worked hard to keep his grimace under wraps, shook his head. “Negatory, Private. In fact, I have a very important mission for you instead,” he leaned close, “I need you to sort through the old files in our storage, and destroy all the unnecessary ones.”

Private looked disappointed, but nodded and walked off to where they kept the papers. Skipper wasn't lying, they really did need to get rid of those files, but he had another reason to keep Private away from the TV today. After all, he wasn't the only one whose favorite show had something new to watch. He flicked the channels until it landed on Shirtless Ninja Action Theater, and settled in to watch the new episode.

#####

Skipper leaned forward as the actor performed a near perfect spinning kick, landing so solidly he was almost convinced they were professionally trained. He cheered as their opponent went down easily, before the basement door slammed open with Private breathing heavily on the other side, a paper in his flipper.Private speaks before he can, gasping out excitedly “Did you know Rico's birthday is soon?” and pointing at the calendar in his flipper.

Skipper, who had gotten into a fighting position instinctively, blinked at him. It was soon, he thought, but he didn't understand why that fact set Private off like that. He kept going, though, asking “What are we going to do for it?”

“Same thing we do for everyone,” he shrugged. “Let ‘im sleep in and get him some good fish.” Private though, looked surprised.

“That's it? We aren't going to have a party, or do anything?”

“It's the way we always do it, Private. I know you've only been with us a short time, but you must've noticed that.”

Private shook his head sadly. Skipper sighed as he realized that this was going to become An Issue, and that he'd better cut it off now, before he got any ideas.

“Look, it's tradition. No need for it to be a big deal. Besides, what else would we even do?”

He regretted asking as soon as he saw Private’s eyes started to literally sparkle. “Can I please throw him a party?” he asked.

He was saved from crushing his dreams when Kowalski walked out of the lab. He glanced between the two of them.

Private rushed towards him, with stars in his eyes, and asked "Don't you think we should throw a party, Kowalski?"

Kowalski took a step back and shielded his eyes. “What- stop looking at me like that- what for?”

“The private wants to throw Rico a birthday party.”

Private jumped towards him, giving him the full force of his cuteness. “Oh, please Kowalski, don't you think I could throw a smashing party?”

“Well, I suppose we could, now that the zoo's closed, but-” Private shot him his most hopeful and adorable expression, and Kowalski couldn't resist. “You know, I do have some experimental firework designs I've been wanting to try…”

“Not you too Kowalski! Come on, have some sense. It's what we do every time!”

“Well, maybe we could try something new! Wouldn't that be grand?”

“It would be great team building!” Kowalski added.

The combined force of both their hopeful faces made him break. “Fine, you can have your party! But I'm sticking to tradition.”

#####

Private grinned as he climbed up the ladder and entered the zoo proper. He'd find the perfect spot for Rico, somewhere nice and pretty! He slid around the other habitats, waving to some of his neighbors as he went. Even though Skipper always maintained his distance with them, he couldn't help but want some relationship with the people he shared a zoo with, even if it was only cordial. In the distance he could hear someone complain about the lack of guests, and how ‘on days like these they don't even brush my mane, can you believe them Marty?’.

He climbed up on top of a fence for a better view of the zoo, hoping to have something jump out at him. Nearby, he noticed an empty habitat that looked promising, and he slid over to it. When He jumped onto the ledge overlooking it though, he almost fell back in surprise. The habit was a wreck, with scratches on the walls, holes in the floor, and odd staining everywhere. He was worried to even try and take a closer look with how close it looked to collapsing in on itself. It clearly hadn't been taken care of since whatever animal was inside was removed. He decided to move on.

The next spot he found was similar, perfect until he looked closer. The others were much of the same. He moved through the zoo, stopping at any spots that looked promising, but couldn't find anything good enough. He'd begun to feel a little saddened, doubtful he'd find any place at all, until he stumbled on somewhere perfect. It was tucked in-between two habitats, one full of cute little hedgehogs and one full of nice sea lions. It had a beautiful mural on the wall behind it with a bunch of lovely sayings, and over the wall you could hear the sounds of children laughing at a nearby playground. It would be perfect.

Except it didn't feel right. Something about imagining Rico here felt wrong, even though Private thought it was the perfect spot!

Maybe he just- needed a change in perspective. He imagined himself as Rico, being here looking at this spot, and that's when it clicked. When he thought about it, of course Rico wouldn't like this spot. The other residents were too nice, the mural was too mushy, and the laughter grated on his ears. Of course he wouldn't want a party here. And, honestly? He wasn't sure it would be a good idea to have the kind of party Rico liked here.

He'd find a better spot, one that fit with his new understanding of what it needed. He couldn't think of any he'd seen, so he turned to look around even more, but realized in shock that there was no more zoo to search. He'd have to find something outside the zoo then.

But Private soon realized he didn't know anything about the park that surrounded the zoo, and as he hopped over the wall, he didn't know where to begin. As he began wandering around, he checked for any good areas and avoided any humans. So caught up in this was he that he ran right into someone.

“Oh, I'm sorry! I wasn't paying attention,” he exclaimed.

“It is alright,” a voice with a heavy Spanish accent responded. He was a tall, well built otter with green eyes and a relaxed smile. “What has you in such a rush?” he asked, holding out his hand.

Private smiled back and took it. “I'm trying to find a spot for a friend's birthday party,” he answered, “I don't suppose you have any suggestions? I don't come here often,” he added nervously.

The otter thought for a moment, and then lit up. “I do, if you go towards the east you will find a lake perfect for penguins like you.”

Private beamed, thanking the otter before running in the direction he'd been pointed towards.

#####

Kowalski groaned as he slammed his head on his desk. What was supposed to be a quick and easy build and rest process had spiralled incredibly, and now he only had three days until Rico's birthday. At first, he'd only realized the weight distribution was off, that the fireworks wouldn't even be able to fly without going wildly off course. With the area Private described for the location, that would go beyond bad right into disastrous. So he switched to a lighter fuel source. When he ran the test again though, the fuel wasn't strong enough to lift more than the slightest bit of the ground.

This had been going on for days. Not a single attempt had worked, and not only was he running out of options, but also materials. So he'd taken to carefully sketching out designs and writing the calculations, scraping anything that had a hint of failure. He was so close to giving up, scraping the whole project and coming up with something more basic. But he wanted this to work, because for all his doubts he knew Rico would love them.

He scribbled out another attempt. He just had to find a balance between weight and fuel. But, as Kowalski checked his numbers again,and marked another failure, he realized that-

There wasn't anything left. He had exhausted every possibility, every set of values had ended in failure. He'd have to invent an entirely new design, build one from the ground up, and Kowalski knows he's good but even he couldn't do that with the time and materials he had. He puts his head into his flippers, willing himself to calm down and think of a solution. He looked back to his diagram.

If the weight wasn't a problem, then he could just have it fire off small amounts of fuel at a time, but it is, so if he could just solve that-

He stopped. Looked at his paper. And began to form an idea.

Because, maybe, he could get rid of the need for it to be lightweight, because what if they didn't need to fly? After all, fireworks weren't the only type of celebratory explosions, and he could change the input-

“Eureka!” Kowalski cried out, and he began to sketch a new design for grounded fireworks.

#####

Skipper huffed to himself as he snuck past the construction crew, not like they were paying any attention. He hitched a ride on one of their outgoing trucks into the city proper, aiming for the fish market he always got the team’s gifts from. Really, he didn't know why Kowalski and Private insisted on making it so complicated. If they hadn't combined forces like that- well, he'd probably still be here, the night before the party, getting fish. But it's the principle of it all!

Besides, birthdays weren't a big deal, they were just a sign that you were getting older and closer to retirement. That didn't need celebrating.

But, here he was. Preparing for a party he doesn't see the point in and won't enjoy, just for his boys. At least the number of explosions from the lab had gone down drastically, so either Kowalski figured out his problems or he gave up.

Skipper leapt off the truck in front of the market. It was closed, but that didn't mean much to an agent like him. But when he slipped inside, it was empty. Not just of people, but of fish too. Everything was gone.

It was a trap, it had to be. Maybe by Hans, or worse- Blowhole! He moved deeper in, sticking to shadows, when he came across two workers. He listened for more information.

“You idiot! How did you not place a single order!? It's your one job!”

“Look, Jamie told me he was handling it! So I took the day off, and I came back to no orders and an empty market!”

“And you trusted him to do that, why? Kids only been ‘ere a week. It's why we only have him stock.”

“Yeah, I know Kam. But I had to get home quick, what with Mary and-”

Skipper decided to stop listening. It wasn't a trap, just a supposed mistake, but that still meant he needed to come up with a new gift. Not a big deal, he knew Rico well enough to have another plan. It would be even better than Private's and Kowalski’s, he decided. He slides towards where he knows a toy store is, and slips in through a vent. His eyes scan the aisles until they land on his goal. A large box of doll clothes sat, and he cracked it open with glee.

He began sorting through them, picking out anything that might fit Rico's lady friend. He ends up with a sizable pile, and he's sure he'll find something perfect.

Until he actually starts looking through them.

“Too glittery,” Skipper said to himself, “too cheap, too gaudy, way too revealing, this is being sold to kids?” he shook his head. Was there really nothing? He continued.

“Too frilly, too bright, is that tie-dye? Hippies.” He'd reached the end of the pile, with absolutely nothing to show for it. That wasn't good. He didn't have a backup-backup plan. He began to wander, hitching another ride. He looked at the stores they passed, contemplating. He'd known Rico the longest, out of his remaining team. Surely he knew him well enough to come up with something?

Suddenly, something caught his eye. In the window of a shop was something so beautiful, he knew it would be perfect. A set of blades, with wavy patterns on the blade, and expertly carved handles. Skipper hopped off the car he'd rode, which had parked anyway, and snuck towards the shop.

He let out a low whistle. They were even better up close, and he could just imagine them carving through meat. He slipped into the shop unnoticed to pay for them.

#####

Rico woke up, feeling more rested than he should with how late he stayed up last night, and knew something was wrong immediately. Because even though the lights are off, he can see out the windows and it is very bright out. When he checks, no one else is in their bunks. The only reason they were allowed to sleep in was if someone was in bad shape, and, when he thought about it, birthdays, but he would definitely have remembered one of those. His team has been acting weird for days, looking weirdly smug and going out for a long time each. He should've known something was wrong-

He jumps as he hears the lab door open, and turns to see Skipper walk out with Kowalski. “At ease, soldier. What's got you all worked up?”

Rico blinked at him. He gestured to the not-quite dark HQ, and to the empty bunks. Skipper raised an eyebrow and shared a look with Kowalski.

“Rico, do you remember what day it is?” Kowalski asked, looking like he was trying not to laugh. At Rico’s blank look, he sighed. “Did you really forget your own birthday?”

His eyes widened, and he clapped his flippers together. Not only was nothing wrong, but it was his birthday! But, as he looked around for his special breakfast, he noticed not only were there no fish, but Private was still missing. He turned back to the others, who were now sitting at the table. “Fiiish?”

Skipper looked at the clock on the wall. Just as he began to answer, Private slid into the room smiling. “It's all ready! Now we just have to wait for- oh! Hello Rico!”

Now he was curious, but he didn't get to ask anything before Private began ushering them all forward. He led them through the tunnels until Rico was sure they had left the zoo area. They finally entered the park through a hatch, but Private stopped.

“We want this to be a surprise, so you're going to need to wear this!” He held out a white blindfold, the same one they used for training. Rico glared at it before putting it on. He was led further, until they came to a stop. He thought he could hear water nearby.

“Okay, you can look now!” As Rico pulled off the blindfold, he looked around. There was a small shack, well taken care of, and a large concrete pad around it. Set on a picnic blanket he didn't even know they had, he saw a container full of huge fish. In the middle of the concrete were some weird looking machines that were probably what had Kowalski looking so smug all week.

“I bartered with some of the bigger animals for some of their fish! I also got everything you could want for sushi,” said Private, “I thought we could eat while we watched what Kowalski put together.”

“Before we do that,” Skipper cut in, “how ‘bout you open your gift first?” He gestured to a package he hadn't noticed earlier, and when he tore through the paper, he let out a gasp. They were beautiful, handcrafted blades, perfectly sharp. They were perfect, he thought as he cut though the fish like it was paper.

“Kitchen knives! Good thinking, Skipper,” said Kowalski, coming back from making adjustments to the machine, “it’s primed and ready whenever.”

“Then let's eat so we can watch this light show!”They all made their sushi, then sat on the blanket and watched as the machine lit up. It began to fire off bright sparks of every color, random at first, then splitting off into different shapes. It was incredible, and impressive that Kowalski had managed this.

With its last few sparks it spelled out, in red and blue letters, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICO”. He clapped when it was over, cheering. He saw Skipper smile next to him.

“Well boys, I think Operation: Celebration was a success, don't you?” Everyone agreed.

“Does this mean we can do this for everyone?” Private asked.

Skipper rolled his eyes, but still smiled. “I guess we could. We can make this our new thing.” Rico smiled excitedly. This was so much better than tradition.

[delvalentine]

Hi!

I've been reading your fanfics since I was in middle school and I'm in college now, so that's really funny to think about lol.

I know that you've been writing for a really long time and you may have been asked this question before (I promise I tried to scroll through and look for a similar question, but I couldn't, so sorry if you've answered this multiple times before!!), but how do you stay motivated when writing?

I have a few writing projects that I've started on, but have yet to finish or publish because I always find something that could be fixed or changed. And whenever I try to write shorter, one-shot type fics, they end up being longer and I keep adding new ideas to them. But this ask is long enough as is, so I'll stop here.

I really love your work and I hope you're doing well!!!

A long-time fan ♥️

It’s so emotional for me to hear that my writing is impactful enough for people to keep reading it as they grow up with me 🥲 thank you so much for reaching out 🤧 & no need to apologize as I’m happy to answer any question or chat! I don’t think I’ve gotten this one yet either 😙

The simple answer is: I don’t stay motivated 💀

I have drafts I never go back to or publish. Fics I think about for years and years and suddenly 5 years have passed and I still haven’t finished it. I have plenty of incomplete stories on my page right now; some I still think about wanting to finish, and others that I’ve abandoned and moved on from. People come to ask and even beg me to finish fics, and I wish I could for their and my sakes, but creativity doesn’t come on command no matter how much you want it to. I tire out while writing a chapter and forget to go back for months. Even when I’ve planned out the whole story, I’ll still lose steam when it comes to actually writing it. The main thing is forgiveness; it’s okay.

I’m sure you’ve heard of motivation vs discipline. Nobody is motivated all the time; it’s impossible to be. Now that I’m a working adult I’ve lost the time and energy I used to have, so I end up prioritizing other things—but I’ve never felt the need to quit writing, because I still enjoy the process of it.

When I write fanfic, the goal is always just to have fun. Like you said, I’ve written fics for a long time; my first ever Big Time Rush Logan x OC on Quotev (when it was Quizzaz) was written ~2010. And I still write reader insert romance fics today even after I graduated university and got married 😂 and the only reason I would be able to keep doing something for so long is because I still find it enjoyable to craft stories!

It always helps when I receive reader feedback. I don’t think anybody should write with the main goal of hitting kudos goals or getting clout as it sort of takes the joy away from creation, but that’s my personal belief. Knowing people liked your hard work can make you feel validated and proud; but I think if you’re not proud even if 0 people left a like or comment, then there could be some introspection about why you’re writing something that doesn’t bring you, the author, joy.

It sounds like your concern is less that you have a block in creation and that you feel that it has to be perfect before you can release it for others in the public to read. Every artist feels this way; I myself reread my fics and wish I’d said this, or worded it a different way, added a scene, etc etc. But the base feelings I look for before I’m ready to hit publish:

- am I proud of this?

- did I convey my story meaningfully?

- if it’s a chapter, does it make me feel like I’d like to keep reading? Did it serve the purpose of answering questions posed earlier in the story?

Sometimes the philosophy “fuck it, we ball” and hitting publish without looking back is enough. It’s just a fic; if there’s some spelling errors or it’s boring to some or OOC to others or whatever—it doesn’t spell the end of the world. In fact, noticing flaws means you’re able to recognize areas that you’d like to grow in to become an even better author. The joy of online fanfic is that the genre is so broad and diverse. It’s all subjective. No matter what you put out, somebody’s put out something “better”, and somebody’s put out something “worse”, and people would still disagree in their personal opinions. If nobody read your writing, would you still feel proud reading it? Did you have enough fun writing your story that you’re keen to write the next one?

Sometimes writing and not publishing has value. Sometimes writing and not editing helps spark creativity or gives you a base of a different story. Sometimes dumping the skeleton of a draft in word dumps on a page without going back to edit until you’re done is what you need to complete your product. If your good ideas stay trapped in your head, I think it’s better to have at least the bare minimum down so you have something that you can edit and clean/fluff up to your liking instead of working yourself into circles and not having anything to show for it. A drill to help practice breaking that particular habit is setting timers and not allowing yourself to go back until the timer is over; this can train your brain to work in a continual flow rather than get tripped up and losing steam.

And I think one of the most important things for creators to do is ingest media from other creators. Read other peoples fics; what do you like about them and what might you do differently in your own style? Published books, TV, movies, etc. The more exposure you have, the more ideas you have available to draw from, and the more you can visualize how you want to tell your own story.

Another tip that helps me to achieve that writing flow is to see your fic/writing as visual media. How does your “movie” end? How would people write the synopsis for your “film”? Are these scenes actually necessary or is it awkward and taking up screen time? Might it be better for the scene to be earlier or later to help with the flow of the “movie”?

This in itself was more of a word dump than a concise answer, but I hope it’s helpful at least a little bit to your writing journey. TL;DR… just publish it 😉 if it’s got a beginning, middle, and end, it’s ready. You can always publish a rewrite (I’ve done that before!), so just trust yourself. There isn’t anybody you have to please online in the fanfic world except for yourself 😌

💌 Love, V

[theunseenpoet]

A FW Fanfic idea

This is actually an idea I came up with while writing Fire Breather so I'm not sure how I feel about it but I just need to make a few points before you read the draft:

I don't plan for Xaden to be the main love interest (it's just too difficult for me because the books revolve around him and Vi)

But I'm planning to write some tension between my OC and Xaden. Kind of like a love triangle but only for him while she's focused on her love interest (who I still have yet to figure out so lmk who you would want her with)

Also, I don't think I've ever written an OC who is a young mother. Ik a lot of people aren't a fan of that trope, but I personally love it...plus, who wouldn't want to see the shadow wielder as a dad??

And I'll also be introducing two signets that we haven't heard yet in the books.

Let me know what you guys think of this rough draft of chapter 1 before I continue writing.

Also a shout out to LeonieStarLee on wp who helped me start this chapter. Sadly, she's stopped writing but we've been helping each other for a few months now with editing, and she wanted to help write the first chapter with me since I was a little stuck x

---

The sun seeped into my room through the curtains like golden spears as I lazily opened my eyes to start the day. Stretching my arms above my head, I smiled in satisfaction at the release felt in my joints before I rolled onto my side, only to be stopped by a small body snuggled up against me, dirty-blond curls covering the tawny brown skin of his forehead.

"Good morning, bub," I whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

The little boy beside me wiggled around for a few minutes before cracking those dark brown eyes open, looking right up at me—the eyes of his father. "Mama," he mumbled, his lips pulling into a bright smile. "Is today the day?"

Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him against my chest with a heavy heart that I refused for him to ever see in my eyes. "It is, which means your uncles and aunty should be here soon."

"Uncle Li?" His eyes lit up seconds before he was scrambling off me and went face-first into the pillows, making me snort. But like his father, he got right back up and jumped off our bed, then stumbled a step toward his stuffed red dragon on the hardwood floor.

It was rare for my twin to visit after Levi, my son, was born four years ago, considering we didn't want anyone to know about his existence—especially if anyone found out who his father was. 

Keeping Levi's existence a secret was something I had been ready to die with since the day he was born. Only Liam, my adopted older brother Heze, his father, and my best friend Cecilia, knew that Levi was alive and my son.

Not even my son's father knew.

But that wasn't my fault. In fact, I waited on my porch every morning and night for a year straight after Levi was born, hoping his father would one day show up.

Yet, not once did the man who said he loved me, show up.

Not. Once.

And so, I gave up on waiting. I didn't have time to wait anymore. I had a son who would forever and always be my first priority. I had a son who deserved his mom's undivided attention. I had a son who needed a loving and caring mother.

So for my son, I gave up on loving anyone who wasn't him or my immediate family.

I gave up on being so angry and resentful toward his father because I never wanted my boy to see that side of the world at such a young age.

And I gave up on hoping that Xaden Riorson truly loved me and would one day return with his arms wide open, wanting to take us in as his family—or just Levi, at least.

I sat up on the edge of our bed, pushing my blond hair over my shoulder. "Do you want me to pick out your clothes today or will you try to do it yourself like yesterday?"

"I've got it, mommy!" A cheesy smile covered his face as he gave me a thumbs up, walking toward our armory. "I'm a big boy."

I stood up, sending him a proud smile. "You very much are a big boy," I hummed, picking up my cream coat from the floor before pushing my arms through it. "Remember, you'll need something warm."

"And blue!" Because that had been his favorite color since the day he could say the word.

"What color should mommy wear?" I asked him, starting to pick up our clothes from the floor.

"Well, Uncle Heze always brings home yellow flowers because he says it's your favorite color," he rambled, throwing random items of his clothes on the ground near his feet. For a four-year-old, he was very observant. "I think you should wear yellow today."

"Yellow it is." I sent him a warm smile just when the door cracked open and Kevin, my adopted father, stepped into the room, his hazel eyes scanning the two of us before he smiled. "Morning, Kev."

"Morning, darl," he greeted me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head as he passed to reach Levi who picked up a grey shirt, then scrunched his face up and threw it over his shoulder. "Having trouble making a decision there, little man?"

"I have too many blues to pick from!" Levi grumbled, plopping himself down before crossing his arms over his chest with a pout. "This is too hard."

I silently watched, leaning against the doorframe with my arms full of clothes as Kevin chuckled, crouching down beside him. "Life is full of hard decisions and choices, Levi," he gently said, picking up a random navy blue shirt. "But that's why family is around. We're always here to help you whenever you ask for help, that is." He handed Levi the shirt before looking over his shoulder at me, nodding his head. "You go do what you need to do, Dosie. I'll make sure the little man doesn't have a tantrum."

"Thank you," I quietly said. "I'll start on breakfast," I further added, flashing them a smile before walking out of the room. Their laughter echoed with each step as I walked down the hallway, the walls full of sketches Heze had created over the years, including a few of Levi's drawings and plants I had pressed between the pages of books.

I dumped the clothes in a basket in the bathing room, where a tub sat under a window, facing the mountains outside. Even in the morning light, the sun's rays glowed against the morning fog outside.

"I picked your dress, mama!" Levi yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls.

I walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me. "Make sure to leave it on my bed and I'll change into it the second I'm done with cooking," I promised him, walking into the sitting room that opened up to the small kitchen and dining room. With only the three of us—once four before Heze joined the Rider's Quadrant—we lived in a small house, which I didn't mind.

The only people we had over were the usuals and the only people that I trusted to know of Levi's existence. 

Heze joined us whenever he could get away from Basgiath on his Red Clubtail—Daenth—and he always brought flowers, knowing I enjoyed drying them out. 

Cecilia Hansley was my best friend since childhood and a 'marked one' just like me, the two of us inked with a relic of swirls and slashes on our left arms. That girl was always over considering her adopted family was only a five-minute walk away and she constantly spoiled Levi with treats she baked herself. 

Then there was Liam, my twin older—by three minutes—brother who I only saw once every six months. 

Considering tomorrow I would be crossing the Parapet to the Riders Quadrant—much to my dismay—with my brother and Cecilia, Liam lied to his adopted father about staying with a different, unmarked, family tonight. Truth was, he wanted to be here tonight, and Kevin agreed without a second thought. We just had to make sure no one saw three marked ones together today outside my home.

"Levi's just getting dressed," Kevin informed me, snapping me out of my thoughts as he strolled into the room.

I took in a deep breath, grabbing the basket full of eggs off the counter. "Did he like the outfit you chose or argued again?"

He chuckled, grabbing the announcements off the counter. "A bit of both but we came to an agreement. That boy has your attitude, that's for sure."

I raised a brow at him, cracking two eggs onto the hot pan in front of me. "Half that damn attitude is your son's fault," I mused, shaking my head. "The last time they were together, I caught Heze teaching him swear words in Tyrrish."

"And who did your brother learn those words from?" he countered, sending me a knowing look while sitting in his green armchair as I cracked another four eggs.

"Hey, I was younger then!" I grumbled, pushing the eggs around with a fork while waiting for them to cook.

After a few minutes of the eggs sizzling to fill the comfortable silence, I leaned against the counter and the lock on the front door clicked, then pushed open, revealing my tall, broad adopted brother, his jet-black hair buzzed to his scalp and the silver scar on his jawline crinkling on his dark brown skin when he smiled at the sight of me.

"How's my favorite family this morning?" Hezekiah said in a way of greeting.

"Leave your weapons on the shelf!" Kevin called out, not looking up from the announcements once.

I snorted, scooping the eggs out evenly on four plates while Heze rolled his eyes, closing the door behind him and listening to his father. "Glad to see you made the journey in one piece," I hummed, glancing at the battle ax he placed on a high shelf out of Levi's reach. "Levi should be out here soon. He's just getting dressed," I informed him, putting the dirty pan in the sink.

"And what about you? How are you, Theodosia?" he pushed, always asking that whenever I'd answer about Levi and not myself.

"Tired but once I have a coffee and a bath, I'll be ready for the day," I truthfully answered him, knowing that he always knew when I was lying. And I wasn't lying today—I was exhausted after being up most of the night to pack my rucksack and create folders to help Kevin with Levi since I'd be gone until who knew when.

"You're not telling me—"

"Don't start hounding your sister, boy," Kevin lectured, folding up the announcements. "She's been up all night packing. At least wait until after breakfast before you start interrogating her."

I laughed at Heze's offended look, passing our father a plate and fork that he took with a small thank you before I walked toward the table where Heze leaned behind a chair. "You two need to start eating your breakfast before someone snaps at the other."

Heze rolled his eyes, sitting down as I placed a plate before him. "He's always in a grumpy mood," he whispered.

"I heard that!" 

The two of us shared a wide-eyed look before quietly laughing and I headed back into the kitchen as Levi walked into the room wearing the navy blue shirt Kevin picked out and white trousers, smiling up at me. "You look very handsome, bub. Oh, and Uncle Heze is here."

"Heze!" he chirped, waving excitedly at Heze who returned the wave, then his eyes darted to the cooked eggs on the counter. "Can I have some?"

"Of course," I said to him, picking up a plate. "You need to eat up because Uncle Li will want to do something fun with you today."

His eyes lit up, making my heart warm in my chest as he followed me to the table. I placed down the plate of eggs beside Heze, leaving the two to eat and talk about something to do with dragons as I walked back to the kitchen. 

Before I could eat my food, I tied my short hair into a bun and splashed some water on my face, resetting my morning nerves to a calm ring. Then I placed my plate down across from Levi and left it there, fetching his hairbrush and hair cream from the bathing room to brush his curls.

As I walked back into the dining room, the front door opened again, and I smiled when Cecilia's yellowish-green eyes locked with mine, her dark brown hair in its usual slicked-back bun, and in her hand was a brown paper bag, meaning she baked something again.

"Good morning, Mairi-Whitlock family!" she cheered, her usual energetic energy making Heze groan, Kev laugh, and Levi cheer just as loud as her, sending bits of egg flying from his fork. She closed the door behind her, walked to the head of the table, and put the brown paper bag down. "I made strawberry tarts for the little man."

"Yay!" Levi cheekily smiled, dropping his fork on the table before snatching the bag. "These ones my favorite!"

"That's exactly why I made them." Lia ruffled up his curls, walking behind his chair.

I pointed the hairbrush at her, raising my brows. "You do that every time before I brush his hair. It's like you enjoy watching me struggle."

"Hey, someone's got to challenge you." She put her hands up in mock surrender while Heze snorted.

"You say that as if I wasn't a mom at sixteen," I deadpanned, starting to softly brush through Levi's curls before I could style them. "But," I drawled, smiling down at my boy who stuffed his face with tarts, "that was my best choice in life."

"Damn right it was," Heze said around a mouth full of eggs.

"I swear you're always talking with food in your mouth." Lia sent him a disgusted look, sitting at the head of the table. "Learn to swallow."

"Clearly Dosie didn't," he muttered under his breath.

But I heard him loud and clear, slapping him on the back of his thick head with the hairbrush. "Watch yourself," I warned him, narrowing my eyes to a glare when he groaned, rubbing his head and Lia cracked up laughing. Little Levi was too caught up in his sweets to even know what was happening. "I might not be able to fight well, but she can, and she'll happily kick your butt."

Lia smirked, waving her fingers at him. "Yeah, I will."

"Why Dad loves you two so much is beyond me," he grumbled, flipping us off when I finished brushing through Levi's hair, starting to run the cream through his curls. "You two are my biggest pains in the ass."

"Language!" Levi lectured him, making his eyes grow wide while I started laughing with Lia. "You can't say bad words, Uncle Heze."

"Oh, he's certainly a Mairi with that tone."

I whipped my head toward the door, my eyes widening with happiness at the sight of my twin brother walking through the door, a rucksack on his back and a different bag in hand. "Liam!" I wiped the cream off my hands and onto the back of a swearing Heze before running around the table and throwing my arms around Liam. "You're finally here!"

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he admitted, dropping the bag at our feet before wrapping his arms around me and almost squeezing the air from my lungs. But I couldn't care. My brother was here. "Sorry it's taken me ten months to visit again. Shit's been weird at the manor."

"You're here now and that is all I care about." I hugged him tighter before pulling away, unable to stop smiling. "From tomorrow on, we won't be separated again."

While growing up, Liam and I were attached to the hip. We even shared a room together until we were twelve and then when we had our own rooms, we had a connecting door. Most of the time, one of us slept on the other's floor because we were so co-dependent on each other.

And then there was our little sister, Sloane. We always dragged her to join us in everything, but she liked her own personal space. But then again, most nights she would build a fort in one of our rooms and the three of us used to sleep in them together.

Then the Tyrrish 'Rebellion' happened and the three of us were separated, shoved into new families without contact with each other.

Except after a year of separation, the duke allowed Liam to reach out to me and Sloane. Obviously, I answered my brother, and we were allowed to visit but Sloane's adoptive family refused for her to contact us and we couldn't even find out where she was—even after Kevin fought for three years to find out.

Our little sister was just gone, forced to not contact us until she could enter the Riders Quadrant, which wouldn't be until next year, after we would.

"We need to cross the parapet first," he gently reminded me, then sent a small wave to the others. "Everyone's here then?"

"Obviously." Lia sent him a knowing look.

As if Levi only just noticed Liam's arrival, he let out a cheer, nearly falling off the chair before Heze caught him with one hand and helped him to the ground. Then the little boy was running straight to Liam who crouched, opening his arms wide.

When they two embraced each other, I smiled, feeling my heart beating at a steady rhythm for the first time in ten months.

"Look at my nephew." Liam stood up again, turning Levi in his arms to hang upside down. "You're growing taller every time, little man."

"I'll be taller than you one day," Levi challenged, crossing his arms over his chest. "And way stronger!"

Liam laughed, turning back up right before placing him on his feet. "And there's that ego you inherited from your fath—rainbows." My twin cringed, avoiding my annoyed look while Heze widened his eyes, staring at his cleared plate, Lia whistled lowly, shaking her head, and Kev muttered under his breath, walking into the kitchen.

Due to my history with Xaden and how heartbroken he left me; everyone here knew to not bring him up around me. Well, except Liam who always asked him about him whenever he visited.

To be honest, talking about Xaden wasn't such a big issue to me as it used to be. But I didn't appreciate the 'father' word being dropped around Levi, especially when talking to or about him in the same sentence.

Of course, Levi knew he had a father, but he didn't understand why he wasn't around. And for his own protection, he didn't know his father's real name. Could you blame me for keeping that from him? He was four years old and young children say a lot of things that shouldn't or had heard from others. The last thing I ever wanted for his own safety was for him to tell the wrong people who his father was.

So, to Levi Mairi, his father's name was Zane. Not much of a difference from Xaden, but it worked and kept him safe.

Thankfully, he didn't inherit his father's dark locks, making it easier to not make a connection...but it was his eyes that worried me. They shared the same eyes and I'd been reminded many times by my small family that if Levi was ever in the same room as Xaden, then everyone would make the connection between them.

'Never have Levi and Xaden in the same room,' was the first mental rule I made for myself after what they told me.

"Rainbows?" Levi tilted his head at his uncle. "How does that happen?"

"I'll explain it all to you," Kevin interjected, walking toward us with his hands out to take Levi. "Mama needs to eat her breakfast and talk to your aunty and uncles, little man. Let's get some shoes on your feet and I'll explain everything about rainbows."

Levi clapped his hands together, eagerly nodding his head as Kevin took him from Liam.

When the two left the room, I finally sat down, taking my plate and filling my fork with eggs. "I would've made you some, Li, but I thought you were arriving around lunch."

He shrugged, his blond spiky hair glowing in the morning sun from the open windows. "I had something to eat on the way here," he informed me, and I nodded, chewing my food. "You okay, Dosie? You look stressed."

Heze nodded, leaning back into his chair. "I noticed that too. Have you been sleeping and eating?"

"We know taking care of Levi can get tiring for you," Lia softly said. "If you and Kev need a break for a few hours, then you know the three of us are happy to watch him."

I placed down my fork, sending them a small smile. "I'm eating and getting enough sleep. Plus, Levi is getting better at stopping himself from throwing a tantrum now." By looking at their faces, I knew they weren't convinced one bit. I sighed, dropping my head back against the chair. "I'll see Xaden tomorrow."

"How the fuck did I forget that?" Lia breathed, slapping a hand to her forehead. "We should've faked our deaths like you suggested."

"Faked your—when the fuck was this suggested?" Liam stumbled over his words, looking at us with wide eyes.

Heze waved him off, focusing on only me. "Are you okay?" he genuinely asked me, not a note of amusement on his face like there usually was.

Under his intense gaze, I straightened. Gods, sometimes I swore he could see right through me. "What do you think?" I deadpanned and the three of them shared a quick glance. "The last time I saw Riorson, he promised nothing could keep up apart, and yet, he hasn't visited once since he bonded with a dragon and started rising the ranks in that damn college. Oh, and there's also the little fact that he has a son he doesn't even know about!"

Lia cringed. "I'm sensing some passive-aggressive energy in your tone."

I slowly turned my head toward her and she shrunk in her chair. "No shit, Lia."

"Will you tell him?" Liam questioned, sitting down beside me as I faced back to him, furrowing my brows. "Riorson," he clarified. "Will you tell him about Levi?"

Shit. I hadn't really thought about that part yet.

Obviously, Xaden deserved to know he had a son—hell, he deserved to know four years ago but it wasn't like I could just send him a letter with that news. He was Fen Riorson's son. Without a doubt, his letters would've been opened and read before he even knew of them.

And Heze could've told him, but the two of them had already beaten the shit out of each other on Heze's first day in the quadrant and I didn't want to risk that again...or risk Xaden getting himself killed to try and get here before he even had a dragon. Or being followed to Levi. Or being spied on because it was a known fact that we marked ones were always being kept an eye on. 

There were just too many risks on the line when it came to telling Xaden and at the end of the day, he left. Yes, he didn't and still didn't know about Levi...but if he could ghost me and Liam, then who was to say he wouldn't do the same to Levi who deserved the world? 

I could never put my boy through the pain of a father leaving.

I refused it.

"We'll see," I finally answered, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm not about to bring Xaden into my son's life just to leave at the knowledge he even exists. Levi doesn't deserve that, ever. If Riorson isn't actually this heartless dick, as Heze has described many times, then I'll tell him of his son. But if he's someone who doesn't deserve to even know my son, then he won't."

[unkur]

Just me reflecting on the past 12 months

I think that today (04.12.2024) is my one year anniversary of being a part of the DCA fandom. And holy shit, a lot has happened.

(CW: Rambling, not written with much effort, perhaps a little bit oversharing, suicidal thoughts mentioned)

I've been a fan of robots, aliens and monsters for the longest time. So one day I was scrolling through AO3, looking for some random stories, from random fandoms that I know nothing about. Because I wasn't really that big of a fan if anything at that moment. I just wanted to read about robots.

I avoided FNAF fanfictions for like a month. I was a part of the fandom back when I was like 11 years old. And I didn't wanna return. But there were quite a few stories. And I also noticed the so called "Daycare Attendant". Idk what it was, but something just had me interested in them. So I gave in.

Like with every other fic that I read, I googled what the robot looks like. My first reaction was something like "What the fuck is that? Why does it look like that?".

But something just pulled me towards them. And I fell into a rabbit hole. I hope it never ends.

Tomorrow one year ago (on the fifth), was my last day at a workplace. I was there for exactly two months and it fucked up my mental health really bad. I've had depression before working there, but this made it all just worse.

Around the same time, maybe a few weeks later, I discovered the best fanfic that I've ever read.

I decided to join the server some time later, because I needed art about the characters, and I needed some drabbles to read.

I just wanted to be a lurker, but people talked to me when I joined. So I responded. I talked and tried to make friends. I tried it for months. But making friends is just something that I'm horrible at. And it hurt. My depression got worse, but I still tried. Until I couldn't handle it anymore and went silent. Being lonely in a room full of people just hurts so much more than just being alone.

So, instead of trying to make friends out of real people, I went back to my imaginary ones. They have always been there and will always be there, as long as I want to keep them. They are my main reason for happiness. I love them. They have rolls. My two best friends are the beast and the jester (Like robots, I have liked jesters and clowns for a long time. Before I knew anything about the DCA). Then there's the king, the robot and two others that I'm not sure what they are yet (One of them might be the priestess though, or the demon?). I take up the roll of the knight.

I was doing terrible. Stopped taking care of myself. Until I realized I had to do something against it.

I read a DCA fic where they were part of a self care app. That's how I realized I could just download one of those. And it helped! It helped really really well. Not only did I take care of myself. I started to go on walks almost every single day. I explored the forest and the mountain. Went down small roads and paths I have never been on. And when I saw a bench, I sat down on and wrote. I wrote almost every day, until I finally got a job again. After six god damn months.

The book, which is my second book btw, has recently reached novel lenght!

That new work place healed my depression in a span of a few weeks. I went from suicidal thoughts every day to only occasionally a few times a week, to only once a week! The people are nice, the work is fun, its a safe place for people with mental illness, disorders, physical disabilities etc. The only downside is that I don't get paid. But at least I don't have to be scared of my life anymore, I guess that's enough.

So yeah, that's it I guess.

[tellmegoodbye]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @sznofthesticks for the tag!

How many works do you have on ao3?

10. I used to have around 30, but I orphaned a bunch of my old stuff recently.

What's your total ao3 word count?

112,750

What fandoms do you write for?

Shameless, 911 Lone Star, and hopefully 911 in the future? I really want to but I don't have any ideas atm.

Top five fics by kudos:

I excluded fics that I cowrote, so this is all completely my own writing. These are all more recent too, so this is much more representative of my current writing style.

shut the door and let go

lover, please stay

when all is said and done

our love will guide us home

will the pain stop (if we go deeper)

Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to as many as I can! Sometimes I run out of words to say (communication has never been my strong suit) but I read every single one and they always make me smile.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

will the pain stop (if we go deeper)

This is the most I have ever projected my personal experience onto a fic. I was going through a breakup at the time and not handling it very well, and writing a breakup fic really helped me cope with it at the time.

I'm doing much better now, and my ex and I are on good terms. Even though the ending to the fic itself was angsty, I'd like to imagine that the characters are doing better now as well.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics tend to have happy endings, but if I had to pick the most satisfying happy ending it would be lover, please stay.

Most of this fic is pretty angsty, but the ending makes it all worth it I think!

Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully I haven't received any nasty comments. I did receive a kind of weird comment once, but I completely forget what it even was.

Do you write smut?

I never did before I got into the shameless fandom, and then I kind of went crazy with it after that.

Craziest crossover:

I've never written a crossover before. It's not something I've ever considered or even know if I would want to do.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hopefully not!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many times with my ex, back when we were still dating. It was a lot of fun and definitely something I'd like to try again in the future! I've always enjoyed collaborating with other people.

All time favorite ship:

Favorite ship I've written for? Tarlos. Favorite ship I've never written for? Tiva, aka Tony and Ziva from ncis. I also love Densi (Deeks and Kensi) from ncis la.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have not written a chaptered fic in years and it is something I would really like to do. I have several ideas including a detective au that I've floated between two separate fandoms, but I still haven't been able to make any progress regarding those wips.

What are your writing strengths?

Angst and introspection! I love getting into a character's head and psychoanalyzing them (I am a psych student, after all 😂) and I also love writing sad shit. I'm a sucker for pain, it seems.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions. We all know them, we all loathe them.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If it makes sense for the situation/characters, of course! I wouldn't go overboard with it though, since I don't actually speak any other languages myself.

First fandom you wrote in:

Minecraft youtube, but like the old school kind. Around 2014-2015ish. And I physically wrote everything down in little journals. Fanfic was only something that existed in my head at the time until I discovered the likes of ff.net.

Favorite fic you've written:

My most recent fic always becomes my favorite, and that holds true today too!

My push coda, my baby, our love will guide us home.

This is something I'm incredibly proud of, and it's also my longest fic to date and something I wasn't sure I would ever be able to finish. I'm still kind of in disbelief that it's finally real.

Tagging (with no pressure ofc) @strandnreyes @carlos-in-glasses @freneticfloetry @welcometololaland and @lemonlyman-dotcom

I do remember this tag going around a few months ago so if you've already done this, you can either do it again if you want to or just accept this virtual hug from me. 🫂

[nocturneworld6]

I came because I wanted to congratulate you on what a good job you've done with your stories so far. When you started Dark Fate years ago, I was very impressed. I thought this story had every single characteristic that makes DL stand out, it had a little bit of everything. Then I found Infernum in wattpad, at that time I didn't know you were the author 😅. I was captivated, enchanted, even though there were only 5 chapters published. After that story, I realized how much you have upgraded yourself and how brave a step you are taking. In my eyes this fic was brutal, much more brutal than Dark Fate. From then on I kept thinking there was nowhere else to go and we were rewarded with Phantasmagoria. Well, I was already stumped. First chapter was so normal, starter, but alas. You've outdone yourself, I'm really convinced this is going to be the most brutal and… depraved of all your DL stories and I absolutely cannot wait to see what happens next between these two. Yeah, I wasn't expecting anything from this at first, but after the last chapter...I'm speechless. What a dynamic just 🔥

By the way I also read your jjk stories, I love them!!! You have a talent and a big one, their themes are so different, but you seem to get into the heads of the characters and see everything about them, I really don't know how you do it, so respect 🙇🏻

You are unique<3<3<3

😶😶😶 Thank you so much. Tbh my knowledge of fanfics ended at those classic Ben 10 fanfics, and I hadn't ever written any fan works before 2020, back when I was 22. I like how my fics have turned out, even though they aren't perfect, but they're things that make me proud. I hadn't ever crossed 50k words in a single original fic before, and I did it first with Dark Fate. I'm proud of the yarns I've spun till today, and I'm so happy you guys love them as much as you do 🫶🥺 Thanks guys. You make me want to write even more.

Also, Phantasmagoria is filled with disgusting subject matter so it's not recommended for reading while having lunch, okay? Guys, I'm counting on you for not making you sick.