#before maehwa took him down

[miniagula]

how long do you think professor ji kept himself up at night when he learned the link between complex and madness was made worse by repression

[shadowynn]

| in love and lore | eight |

pairing: ateez x fem reader

genre: fantasy/daemon/soulmate au

warnings: some cursing, mentions of death and violence

summary: the daemon king and his seven black generals. names and faces of these eight had changed over the years as each new king was crowned, but their reputation as the most powerful daemons always remained the same. upon hearing the rumors one of the seven led the charge of the nearby battle, you should have stayed close to the encampment. you should have never wandered out on your own. but you did, and your life would never be the same again. good or bad, you would just have to wait to find out.

“There’s no need to be afraid, angel.” His words were a breath against the side of your neck. “You’ve done so much for us, let your king now return the favor.”

wordcount: 14.5k

| seven | eight | nine |

a/n: ahhh, it's finally here and so much longer than i originally planned. when i first started this chapter, i planned on it covering the entirety of their travels back to the daemons' kingdom, but here we are, and you'll come to see that journey will be for the next chapter and we're still outside maehwa by the end of it. oops. but i am super happy with how this came out. don't really know how it did or what possessed me, but it did and it's here. so i hope you all enjoy. :)

also, taglists will be moving to reblogs as i think you guys are so awesome and cool, a singular post can't contain you all so those will be following here in a few moments after this posts.

~

"May I sit with you?"

You glanced up from the pen and paper in hand at the voice that spoke above you, though it was done more out of habit than to see who it was. You already had that piece of information, having felt his gaze on you for the past half hour.

You had done all you could to avoid Hongjoong and his generals over the past few days, but any success you had found hadn't been on your part, but their own attempt in giving you the space you desperately craved. While you had woke up early and spent the past hour curled up next to the barrier to watch the sunrise by yourself, you had been well aware of Yeosang's nearby presence and wondered if he would ever make a move.

You met his eyes briefly before turning back down to the paper before you, simply shrugging your shoulders instead of bothering to verbally answer his question. You didn't quite have it in your heart to refuse him, but you did hope the defensive stance your body had taken at his presence would have been enough to deter him. It didn't, not that you had really expected it to, and he simply took your silent response as an excuse to sit down on the ground next to you. Not quite close enough to be touching, but close enough for you to shift your stance a bit before busying yourself with the paper you had been doodling on in an attempt to clear your mind. It had worked well enough up to this point, but his new proximity to you caused your anxiety to spike once more.

He had to have wanted something. While your attempts at completely avoiding them had been futile, none of them had approached you in the manner Yeosang now did. Any interactions with them had been brief and awkward. There was much they wanted to say. Either to apologize or convince you in some manner, but they held their tongues, fully knowing you didn't want to talk about it at this point.

The constant guard from before had been dropped from that night, and though you had more time to yourself than you had ever had since they had brought you here, you found little relief in the matter. Not with the barrier you had run across that first night remaining up and present. They had claimed it was simply an added precaution to keep you safe after the incident at the masquerade, but you weren't an idiot. You knew they had simply exchanged one guard for another. The thought of running had crossed your mind more than once since that first night, though not in the way they were worried of. Part of you did want to run and escape this fate that had been placed on you, but you knew it wasn't something you could or would succeed in. And even if you did, where would you go? You had nowhere to go or anyone to run to. But the fleeting thoughts you had made of it must have slipped over in their minds as well, and the barrier was the needed precaution they had taken to keep it from happening.

Honjoong had claimed they could only read the thoughts you outwardly projected, and only then when you were within a certain proximity of them, but without any other explanation of the process, you struggled to understand what exactly he had meant by it or how you could control it yourself. Based on your past experiences, you were certain things had slipped through, but without knowing which thoughts had or hadn't, it was impossible to tell just how much they had gleaned from you in the meantime. And with the way you struggled to control the panic that took root in your stomach each time you saw one of them, you had the sinking suspicion they knew more than they let on. The glances they sent to each other when they thought you weren't looking was all the evidence you needed of that fact.

"Hongjoong has informed us that the treaty talks have come to a conclusion."

You tensed at the mention of him, shifting your position against the barrier you had been using as a backrest. And though your eyes stayed focused on the sketch in your lap, you caught the way Yeosang's body extended past the barrier out of the corner of your eye, a fact that had your grip tightening its grip on the pencil in hand.

You hadn't seen Hongjoong since that night.

Wanting nothing more than to be alone, you had strayed near the edge of the camp long into the night, contemplating over everything he had told you. You had run through everything he had said over and over, and yet, you still struggled to make sense of it all to this day. No matter which way you wrapped your head around it, parts of it would still not make sense. You couldn't have been his mate. Not when you weren't a daemon. Not when you were someone who should have never been born. And then, if it was true, and you truly were his mate, then he shouldn't have been fine with the fact as much as he seemed to, not with the giant gap between statuses. Not when he was a king.

As much as you knew you should, you had yet to divulge the information to Soomin or Hyunwoo. You were well aware telling them could perhaps give you some much needed advice or reassurance, but the courage always left you the moment you opened your mouth. You didn't know how they would react or whether or not they would hate you for it. And you could already hear the teasing statements Hyunwoo would make from it, only serving to fuel the flustered state the knowledge left you in already.

The two of them had taken the occupancy of a nearby tent after the masquerade, Jongho's statement of them being brought back with you proving true when he had allowed you a brief visit before your talk with Hongjoong. It was there that you had returned to that night once your tears had finally dried up, unable to go back to your own tent at the prospect of being forced to see him again. Neither one of them had been asleep when you had slipped inside and had been quietly conversing on the edge of one of the cots when you had appeared.

Your sudden presence had surprised them, as well as the state you were in, but they hadn't tried to press for anything more than whether or not you were safe for the time being. They were curious as to what had happened and the meaning behind their behavior, that much was obvious, but you hadn't had the courage to tell them. So when Hyunwoo offered up his bed instead of pressing you further, you had nodded your appreciation and curled up inside it without another word.

But as much as you had wanted to hide inside that tent forever, it was impossible. Despite never telling them where you had gone off to, Mingi had still been waiting for you outside the tent when you had woken up the following afternoon, chatting idly with Hyunwoo. Though he had made no mention of anything that had occurred the night before or why you had retreated into your siblings' tent, you had felt the concern he extended towards you all the same, and it had been impossible for him to completely hide the care that had laced his tone each time he had spoken.

You had never been entirely comfortable with any of them before, but this... This threw away any sort of progress you had made towards it since you had met them. You didn't know where you stood with them anymore - not that you really had before - let alone how to act around them now. The revelation of your newfound relation to them hung heavy in the air each time you were forced to interact, leaving you feeling more vulnerable than ever. It was impossible to look them in the eye, let alone stop the blush that came creeping up the back of your neck whenever they referred to you by those damned nicknames of theirs. Each use of 'angel' or 'pretty' only now served as a sharp reminder of how you were now stuck here with them, sealed to a fate you had no control over.

You had been right when you had told Seonghwa how harsh reality could be at times that night so long ago, and though you had hated how clueless you had been before, you almost wished you could have your ignorance back, almost preferring the anxiety it had brought over the anxiety the truth brought with it.

"We'll remain here for a few more days to ensure everything is properly instated, but preparations for the journey back to Taeyang have already begun." If he noticed your discomfort, he didn't show it, continuing on with his previous train of thought as he gazed upwards at the city's walls. "If you wish, I can escort you back to the city and help you gather anything you might wish to take with you."

"How generous of you," you murmured, "allowing me the time to grab a few comforts of home before stealing me away."

Up to this point, no one had explicitly mentioned what was to happen now, and if Hongjoong had been going to, you had left before he got around to it. You weren't completely clueless, however, and were able to read between the lines. If Hongjoong really had told you the truth, and you really were their mate, and they really intended to act upon this fact, you knew you wouldn't be staying here. You knew you would be left with no choice but to go down south with them, and the casual mentions the others had made of this had all but secured this fact for you. And yet, despite fully aware of what was coming, it did little to lessen the blow upon finally hearing it.

"Would you prefer to stay here with the humans, then, and continue the life you had led before? A life where you were overworked, insulted, and hated?"

"No," your body tensed, "but that doesn't mean I wish to go with you either."

"Then where do you wish to go? What is it that you wish to do if it's neither staying here and continuing the life you had before nor a new one with us?"

"I don't know," you shrugged, "somewhere..."

"Somewhere you could open up your own shop? A place where you could do whatever you wanted on your own terms and no one else's?" he answered for you, the corner of his lip tilting up. "We could give you that you know? Perhaps not in the exact way you always imagined, but we could give you anything you needed to grow and brew whatever it was you desired."

His words were a reference to a time that now felt like a different lifetime altogether, a time where you had been clueless to his true identity and in awe of the attention and kindness he had extended your way. A time where you had thought him nothing more than a concerned human who had truly seen you for who you were and not for the blood running through your veins.

Upon first discovering he was a daemon, you had originally thought it had been nothing more than an act. Something to get you to drop your guard and pin the murder of Hak Seongmin on you. But now that you knew exactly what was going on, the weight of his actions hit in a different way. And the implication he had made when he had mentioned what it was he yearned for if things had been different hit you hard in this moment.

You had thought his wish had been odd at the time. The idea that someone like him could never settle down and find someone to marry had seemed impossible with his attractive features and suave personality, but now you understood. For the majority of his life, he had been told a mate and family was something he would never have. That he had been born with the sole purpose of serving and protecting his king. And yet, everything had changed when Hongjoong had been crowned and the bond between them had snapped in place. Unlike you, the life he had craved was now at the tip of fingers.

"Was anything you said that day true?"

With all motivation to draw thrown out the window, you dropped the pencil you had been fiddling with into your lap and exchanged it for a loose strand at the edge of your sleeve.

"I know how it might seem from your view, but let me assure you everything I told you that day was true." His gaze was trained on you, but you refused to meet it. "The only thing I hid from you that day was the fact I wasn't human."

"And what if," you found it hard to speak, afraid of the answer to the question that had been burning in your head for days now, "what if I wasn't your mate? Would you have treated me with the same kindness you had shown me that day? Or would you have turned the other way like everyone else and simply let me die?"

Ever since you had gotten over your shock and come to accept everything Hongjoong had told you was very well true, the question had haunted your thoughts. What if you hadn't been their mate? What would have happened then? Would they have treated you with the same kindness they had shown you by your deeds as the Black Angel and the people you had saved, or would they have killed you where you stood when Seonghwa had revealed your identity? Was the only reason they were kind to you and treated you like everyone else simply because you were their mate and nothing more? And if things had been different, would you even still be alive?

Yeosang was silent for a moment, brows furrowing as he mulled over his answer to your question. Each moment that ticked by only serving to further fuel your insecurities, telling you what you had known all along. That things would have been different.

"You're right on the account that things would have been different, but not in the way you're assuming."

This time you did look up at him, eyes narrowing at the way his reply ended up being a response to your thoughts and not the question you had verbally asked him.

"Sorry." He had the decency to look ashamed for a moment, fingers digging into the ground beside him as he frowned. "It's just, without any proper training, you're akin to an open book. The heightened emotions from the past few days has made your thoughts and emotions overflow to the rest of us whether you mean them to or not, and sadly, we have very little means to block them out."

His apology felt sincere, but it didn't stop you from pulling your legs in closer, feeling more embarrassed than you had before now that you knew just how much they must have gathered from you. The pitiful looks they had sent you the past few days now worse than before.

"It won't always be this way though. We can teach you to control them, if you'd let us. Though you would probably excel the most with Mingi. Out of us all, he's always been the best at maintaining his thoughts."

"You said things would have been different," you replied, returning the conversation back to the question Yeosang had avoided earlier. "Different how?"

"Well, you did save Seonghwa's and the others' lives, so we would have happily followed through with our promise to repay you for your deeds and ensured your safety through the war's end. After that, well, it's a bit hard to say what Hongjoong would decide, but I imagine he would have extended an invitation for you to come back to Taeyang with us and hired you as a healer based on your natural talent and daemon ability."

"Forgive me when I say I have a hard time believing that." He might have said he had yet to lie to you, but that didn't mean he hadn't hidden things from you before, and you had a hard time believing he wasn't hiding something now when his claims of truth seemed so far-fetched. Perhaps they would have extended an offer your way, but you doubted you would have been given a choice in the matter, and would have only landed yourself in a similar position to the one you had before with the humans. Only this time with daemons calling you names instead of the humans. "And even if you are telling the truth, and you would have kept me alive to the end, would you have still done it if I had no healing capabilities? Or would it have just been a way for you to get a hold of my blood and use me as the humans have?"

"I understand how it might all appear from your view and I'll be the first of us to admit your worries do not come completely unwarranted. The daemons have not always been kind to those without a pure lineage and hundreds, if not thousands, of people have suffered and died under this obsession they've had. For it was the daemons who hunted down and killed the half-daemons when the war began and not the humans. And it would be easy to blame that occurrence and any similar one on the former king and his growing paranoia, but it was from centuries of prejudice that carried those acts to fruition and nothing I say or do will ever make up for it."

"You hunted them down?" It was hard to keep your voice level at the wave of disgust that coursed through you. You had known the daemons often killed your kind for no other reason than their hatred for your existence, but hearing how they had actively been hunted down for something they had no control over was something else altogether. "Why?"

"Hongjoong's father was not a nice man, and he craved power more than anything else. And the more time went by, the more his lust for it increased, and with it, came paranoia. He was afraid of anything and everything that could challenge him for it, including Hongjoong who he kept under a strict watch. He knew Hongjoong had the power to overthrow him, just as his father had overthrown his grandfather, so he did everything he could to ensure that would never come to pass." Yeosang's body had become tense as he spoke, his previous relaxed state hardening. "So, when the war began and he heard the humans had decided to gather up as many half-daemons as they could for the war efforts, the order to hunt and exterminate any and all half-daemons was given. It's the reason why the war hit the borders so hard in the beginning; the daemon troops under orders to burn them all to the ground, no matter whose side they were on."

"And you wonder why I was thankful to have been born among the humans," you retorted, voice full of bitterness.

"Things are changing though. Hongjoong is not the man his father was. When he heard what his father was doing, he recruited us to do everything we could to save as many of his people as he could, but there was only so much we could do before it was too late. There were only so many people we could save."

"And why's that? Why did he care? Why did any of you care?"

"Now that is a question that requires a long and rather complicated answer, one that I am unable to fully answer myself, but I will do my best to explain to you what I can." His head tilted, black eyes catching yours, and for the first time since he had appeared you didn't look away. "Has anyone explained to you or mentioned what my ability is?"

You shook your head, wondering what that had to do with the topic you were just discussing, but you knew better than to question him on it. After all, you did hold some curiosity to what his and the others' daemon abilities were.

"I can create illusions, making those around me see, feel, and hear whatever it is that I wish them to. Take this butterfly for example." A hint of a smile reappeared on his face as he reached his hand out for the insect, allowing it to take rest on his finger. "It's not real; simply an image I'm projecting inside each of our heads at the moment." To prove his point, he raised his opposite hand to swipe at the bug. To your surprise, his fingers ran through it as though it was only air, causing the image to ripple for a few seconds. "Believe it or not, it took years of training for me to pull off tricks like this one. Tasks such as changing my appearance or disappearing from view entirely took little more than innate talent, but mimicking another living being to where it was believable was something much harder altogether."

The butterfly's wings extended, taking off from Yeosang's hand to make the short trek over to your knee. You eyed it closely, in utter disbelief to discover it wasn't real. That it was nothing more than an illusion the man next to you had created for you to see. Everything about it felt real, down to the way its wings fluttered in the breeze to the way its feet tickled your skin as it moved along the back of your left hand.

"It's the same guard ability your father had."

"You knew my father?" Your lips twisted, teeth pulling at the bottom corner of your lip, unsure of just how this revelation made you feel. On one hand, you had no desire to learn about the man who had destroyed your family when he had killed your mother, especially not that you now knew just what sort of man he had served, but another part of you was curious. Curious to know if he really did match the rumors or if perhaps there might have been a chance there was some truth behind Soomin's hazy memories of the man.

Yeosang nooded. "When the new members of the guard pop up, the current members devote quite a bit of time training them up and teaching them how best to utilize their abilities. Since I shared the ability of you father, we spent quite a bit of time together in my youth and we were quite close before he was sent to Maehwa." He paused for a second, and you could feel the way his eyes had traveled back to you. "Did you know your brother looks just like him? So much so, it took me by surprise the first time I saw him, and for a second, I thought it might have actually been him until I saw his eyes." The butterfly on your hand vanished then, causing your eyes to lock on his for a split second. "But I see now that you were the one to inherit them instead."

You struggled to control the way your stomach twisted at his words and were quick to divert your eyes. The light expression on his face showed he hadn't meant anything negative by them, but that didn't stop the wave of insecurities that hit you as he commented on the one feature you had spent years wishing you could change and the reason behind them.

"You're a lot like him, you know?" Yeosang's voice softened and a hand was placed on top of your shoulder. "A little stubborn, maybe, but incredibly selfless and kind. Someone who could see beyond the status of daemon and human. He would have absolutely adored you."

"Just like he adored my mother?" you rebuked his statement, pulling back far enough to cause his hand to drop.

"It's not that simple."

"What do you mean? He killed her, didn't he? What more is there to tell"

"It's... complicated." You were quick to see the way Yeosang had tensed up again, dropping his gaze back to his lap. "And though I played a small role in an attempt to stop the events that occurred that night, it's not my story to tell. If you wish to hear what happened, you would need to speak with Hongjoong. It's his story to tell."

"No, you can't leave it at that." You shook your head, forcing him to meet your eyes. You weren't going to play that game again. You weren't going to let them keep their secrets from you and brush off your questions. "He was my father and it was my mother, so I think I have a right to know. So, tell me, did he kill her?"

"I'm sorry, angel, truly, but I shouldn't be the one to explain that night to you. Trust me when I say you need to hear it from Hongjoong. After everything he went through to get here, he deserves to be the one to tell you." And despite the way his words frustrated you, you could see the desperation in them, as though he truly believed it would be best if you heard it from Hongjoong. "But something you should know is that your father was a good man. He knew I wasn't fully daemon, and yet, he never once treated me differently for it. And it was him who helped me gain the courage to finally tell the others."

You couldn't stop the sharp inhale his words brought, eyes widening as you process what he had just said and wiping away any remaining thoughts you had about the conversation before for the time being. He had mentioned it so casually, that you had almost missed it, caught up in figuring out what it was he had hinted about.

Yeosang wasn't fully daemon.

Yeosang, one of the Seven, and one of the highest ranking daemons in this part of the world, wasn't even fully daemon.

"My father was full-blooded, but my mother was a half-daemon like yourself. Because of that, it's not something anyone would be able to know unless they tested my blood for it, but still enough to where many daemons would shun me if they knew. So, when my horns and eyes turned black on my thirteenth birthday, I was shocked to say the least. The thought of being a member of the Black Guard had never once crossed my mind due to my lineage, so I was certain a mistake had been made. Why would the maetha choose me? Someone the daemons considered impure? And I was terrified. I knew what it was like in the capital and what they thought of those like me, and I was terrified of what they would do to me if anyone found out." He shifted, pulling his right leg in towards him and wrapped his arms loosely around it. "So, when I discovered I had inherited the guards' illusion ability, I used it to hide the new color my features had taken and prevented myself from being sent away."

You struggled to wrap your head around what he had just revealed to you, barely hearing the words that followed as your brain was too busy repeating the fact Yeosang wasn't fully daemon. More daemon than you were and with enough of their blood running through him to easily pass as one, but none of that changed the fact he was just like you in some ways. Someone who didn't quite fit into the status quo of the world.

"But they found you?" You straightened up, taking in his figure next to you in a whole new light.

"No," he shook his head, "in the end, I went to them on my own accord."

"Why?"

"Out of spite and a broken heart," he huffed, but a hint of a smile once again appeared and the slope of his shoulders relaxed. "There was a girl in my village that I fell in love with when I was around sixteen, making me more motivated than ever to continue keeping my identity hidden. For if I did, I would be able to stay there and live the normal unassuming life I craved. But, you see, she had only ever been stringing me along. She thought I was sweet, but could never see beyond the fact I wasn't fully daemon and thought I was someone beneath her. She craved a life outside that little village, so when someone else came along that she thought could fulfill her needs, she broke things off with me in the cruelest of ways. At the time, it nearly broke me, and I couldn't stand to be there any longer, so I left to fulfill the destiny that I had denied for so long. Any concerns I had previously had before didn't worry me anymore. If I ended up dead because of it, then so be it. I didn't care anymore."

"I'm sorry." It was you who reached out for him this time, resting your hand on top of his as a wave of empathy rolled through you. You may have never had your heart broken before, but you understood exactly what it was like to be rejected and turned away based on something you had no control over.

"I'm not," he shook his head, smile widening as he looked at the hand on top of his own. "If I had stayed where I was, I would have been miserable. At the time, I didn't understand why I was chosen, and perhaps a small part of me still wonders why the maetha chose me of all people, but ever since you showed up in the picture, I think I've finally begun to understand."

"I wish I could say the same." You retracted your hand, pulling it back around your legs as his words brought you back to the reality that surrounded you, reminding you just who it was you had been comforting. "No matter which way I run through things in my head, it just doesn't make any sense. A little over a month ago I was just another half-daemon trying to survive in this crazy world, and now I'm being told I'm the mate of the daemon king and his seven generals. It's just a lot in a small amount of time, and I'm having a hard time processing it all."

You stuck your chin against the top of your knees, looking up once more at the walls that had been your home for the past twenty years. There had been a time when you had yearned to leave them behind, but not like this. Not when your path only led you to another prison. A different city, but with the same walls that had tormented you as a child.

"My whole life I've been seen by nothing more than my status as a half-daemon. It's dictated my entire life, telling me what I can and can't do because of it. And not once has anyone ever taken the time to see what lies beyond it. To see me, the real me. Not the half-daemon y/n. Not the Black Angel with the magical blood. And not your stupid mate. Just me. Just y/n. And lately," you took a deep breath, shaking in the exhale, "I've been wondering if she's even still there."

You hadn't meant to tell him any of that, but the words had fallen out before you could stop them, fueled by his earlier revelation and you could feel his gaze on you as you finished, heavy with unspoken sympathy.

"You mentioned you were here to escort me back to the city, right?" You spoke up before he had a chance to reply, not wanting to hear what his response might have been. "I don't like it, but if I'm left with no choice in the matter, then I do wish to take you up on that offer. I don't have much, but there are a few items I would rather not part with."

"Of course."

If he wanted to push you further on the matter and prod your brain for what exactly you had meant by any of your earlier thoughts, he didn't. Instead, he followed your lead and pushed himself back up to his feet, stretching out the muscles in his back. When the action caused his shirt to lift and reveal the toned surface beneath, you immediately turned your gaze unable to stop the heat that rose up inside you.

What the hell was wrong with you?

It wasn't like you hadn't ever seen a shirtless man before, let alone other more intimate areas. So, maybe, it wasn't in that specific context before, but rather in the numerous injuries you had healed in your lifetime, but never once had you felt that rush through you before and you only hoped it hadn't leaked through the bond. The last thing you needed was for them to realize a part of you was physically attracted to them and use that to their advantage. You didn't think you could survive if they did.

"Just give me a second to get the barrier down." If Yeosang noticed, he did a hell of a job hiding it, rolling out his shoulders once more before turning to the barrier behind you.

"This was you?"

He shook his head. "No, the barriers are all San's doing."

"It's his daemon ability?" you asked, head tilting as your hand brushed against the invisible wall.

It seemed so obvious now that you knew, the feel of it beneath your skin strangely familiar to the daemon you had danced with so many nights ago. The energy in which it thrummed feeling distinctly of him, and the only explanation you had for the strange phenomena was the bond that now tied you to him-

- Maybe that was also the explanation for the way you had reacted to Yeosang earlier and the reason your heart was still beating just a smidge too fast. Yes, that had to be it. Why else would you have felt that way?

"How does he maintain it? It's been up for days." And you would know, having snuck off more than once the past few days for no other purpose than to see if it was still there or not.

"Barriers of this scale and complexity require the use of his blood to create and maintain, but if you're still curious about it, you should ask him. He could explain it all better than I would be able to and says he would be more than happy to give you a demonstration as well."

"He says?" You looked back at Yeosang as your hand dropped back down to your side. "You're talking with him right now? How?"

"Through the bond," he replied. "It ultimately stems from Hongjoong's ability to speak with us at any distance, though the bond limits the rest of us to a certain distance. With a little training, though, not only can you learn to control those thoughts, but you can also learn to direct them to certain individuals instead of everyone within distance."

"Is that all it does? Just sort of link everyone's mind together?"

"No, it affects each of us in different ways, and some more than others."

With the barrier now down, Yeosang motioned for you to follow him. You paused for a second, tentatively reaching out with your hand and half-expecting him to be lying to you. But your hand wasn't stopped this time and merely slipped through the air. Whatever barrier had held you back the past few days was finally down.

"Take Seonghwa for example. His ability only allows him to teleport to places within a certain radius around him, but the bond gave him the ability to also teleport directly to anyone else he's attached to, no matter the distance," he continued, guiding you in the direction of the city's gate. "That's why it was so devastating when it was him who had been injured in Binna. If it had been any of the rest of us, Seonghwa could have gotten them back to the rest of us, but it just had to be him. And by the time we realized just how severe it was, he had already lost too much blood. If he had tried to teleport to one of us, he likely would have died. Our only chance of saving him was keeping him there on the off chance you would show up. And you did." He looked back at you, gaze softening. "I know things have been rough for you since that night and things might have happened in ways they shouldn't have, but if you only knew what it had been like for us. To not only have Seonghwa alive and safe, but to have finally found you. It was... overwhelming to say the least. Enough so, that even Mingi lost his grip on his mind for a moment."

"And now that you've found me," your arms wrapped around your body, finding it hard to control the shiver his words elicited, "what do you plan on doing with me?"

It had been a question that had plagued you since your emotions had finally settled down and you had regained a grip on your mind once more. In your initial panic, you had left Hongjoong as quickly as you could, needing time and space to process the overload of information he had just dumped on you. And it was only once you had calmed down that you realized the amount of question you had for him now that you were thinking logically once more. He had claimed you were their mate, but he had never gotten around to stating what it was they intended to do with you because of it. Did they plan on accepting you and forcing you to play the dutiful mate? Or did they plan on rejecting you for something as trivial as your mixed blood?

Hongjoong's words and actions from that night had all but confirmed acceptance, and the others' only then served to reaffirm this thought. But you felt no relief from it, instead you wished the opposite would have been true. It might have hurt to have been rejected, knowing full well it had only been because of your lineage, but it wasn't anything you hadn't been through before. It wasn't anything you couldn't have handled.

It would have hurt, yes. You may have faced enough rejection over your lifetime to have become used to it, but that didn't mean it still wouldn't have stung in some ways. But it would have made sense. He was the daemon king and you were just a halfbreed. Just a mutt. Your father might have been someone of a higher class, but you weren't. And you never would be.

That was why you were so confused as to why each of them seemed so intent on accepting it. How each of them thought it was normal for someone of their status to be with someone of yours just didn't make any sense. Not when you were someone history had dictated would never belong in their world, and just because they seemed fine with it didn't mean the others would. You hadn't been around many daemons in your life, but you knew the reaction it would pull. You knew they would never accept you as one of them. Because you weren't. The sooner they came to realize this small fact, the better.

"Well, you are our mate," Yeosang replied, and you were unable to control the shiver his words brought this time. "We were hoping you would accept it. Accept us."

"And what if I don't? What if I say I don't want any of this? That I don't want any of you?" It was hard to speak, throat tightening on you as the inevitable hit you once more. "Would you accept my refusal and let me be?"

Your answer was in the silence which followed your question. The length it took him to come up with a suitable reply all but telling you what you had already known to be true. That there was no way out of this. It didn't matter what you wanted. It didn't matter what you thought. They had decided your fate when they had bonded you to them. The only choice you had in the matter was whether to try and fight it or just give in and accept it.

"Is that what you want?" Yeosang did his best to keep his response level, but you heard the way his voice still wobbled, hinting at the emotions that wavered treacherously beneath his carefully calculated expression.

"I don't know," you sighed, "but it would be nice to be given a choice. To have time to process everything and come to my own conclusion without you all butting in and deciding it for me."

"And if we had, would you have accepted us then?"

This time it was your silence that answered his question. The uncertainty of the situation making you pause for a second as he turned the table towards you. If things had been different, and it hadn't been forced on you in the manner it had, you honestly didn't know how you would have responded, but you had an inkling it would have been similar to how it was now. While you harbored strong frustrations towards each of them for taking your choice away from you, that wasn't why you were so hesitant over it all. That wasn't why you were so terrified at the prospect of being their mate.

If you were able to put your insecurities and frustrations aside, you thought things might have been different. There was no mistaking the physical attraction you felt towards each of them, the earlier incident evidence of that, nor the inward pull that had you yearning to get in close and stop avoiding them. Whether this was because of the bond that Hongjoong had put in place, the fact you were mates, or something else, you weren't sure. After all, you had felt some sort of connection to Seonghwa before the bond had taken hold, left in awe of the man before you.

You still remembered the strange pit that had formed in your stomach when he had drank of your blood. Of all the times you had proffered it to heal another, it had never felt like such an intimate act as it had that night. At the time you had just assumed it was your nerves, terrified of the man in front of you, but what if it had been something more?

And though you didn't know them, not yet, at least, the attentiveness and kindness each of them had shown you during your time with them had been nice. You would never admit it out loud, but you had enjoyed that time with them more than you ever had with the humans. Having plenty of time to rest and recharge, being treated as a normal person, it was more than anyone had ever given you before. Never in your life had anyone ever treated you in such a way before. To have looked beyond your slit eyes or the lack of horns on your head and treated you kindly. It would have been the best week in your life if it hadn't been for the fact your life had hung in the balance.

And yet, there had been a reason they had chosen to look past what others had been unable to. They hadn't seen you as either daemon or human, but they hadn't seen you for who you truly were either. No, they had simply seen you as their mate and then treated you accordingly. And that singular fact hurt more than it would have if the opposite had been true. If they had simply treated you as the halfbreed you were.

"I'm aware that all of this is probably normal for you, that finding out your someone's mate is a more joyous occasion, but nothing about this is normal for me. It's foreign, confusing, and more than a little overwhelming. Having and finding your mate might simply be a way of life for you, but it's not the way I grew up where who we end up with is a choice rather than something decided by fate. And though it might be a bit different for you than most daemons, Hongjoong has known about me my entire life and has had two decades to think things over and make a decision. And I didn't get any of that. I had it forced upon me before I even knew what was happening, so forgive me, pleasse," you took a deep breath, hands clenching at your sides and causing the nails to dig into your skin, "if I seem to have some reservations about it all."

"Which are perfectly valid, however hard they might be to hear." As you neared the city's entrance, Yeosang reached out to you, pulling you to a stop next to him so that he had your full attention. "And though it may be wrong of me to ask this of you after everything that's happened, could you at least give us a try? Things may have started off badly, but is there nothing we can do to redeem ourselves? If it's time you need, we can give you that. All we ask, all I ask, is that you give us another chance before throwing it all away. Please, angel, I'm begging you."

The desperation in his voice caught you off guard. The way his eyes pleaded with you in that moment made your stomach twist and you were unable to hold his gaze for more than a few seconds as the feeling of vulnerability hit you once more. Here was one of the Seven, one of the most powerful beings in your world, all but begging for your forgiveness for the wrong he had done you.

You didn't know what scared you the most in that moment. The raw emotion buried within his words, the way he was looking at you as though you were the only thing that mattered, or the fact it was working.

You didn't want it too, still hurt and bitter about what they had done to you, but goddammit, he was right. As someone who had grown up helping others, you had grown up believing that everyone deserved a second chance at life, no matter what they had done. It was why you had been so willing to save the injured daemons. It was why you had been willing to save Seonghwa. Because who were you to decide whether or not they died? People made mistakes all the time and these mistakes were bound to hurt others, especially the ones closest to them. So, who were you to deny them that second chance when they seemed more than willing to change? When they were all but begging for you to let them redeem themselves?

"You said you can give me more time," you spoke slowly, trying to keep your own emotions under control. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

Yeosang straightened up, the grip in which he held you with tightening at the hopeful prospect your response elicited. "In whatever way you needed. We would ask that you still come with us to ensure your own safety and wellbeing, but we won't rush you into anything that you're not comfortable with. We can do things on your time if that's what you so wish."

"My time," you echoed his words, letting the implication of them hit. It wasn't ideal. Not since you had been forced into this whole ordeal to begin with, but it did offer you some small comfort knowing that the way things could and would proceed from here on out could be done at a pace and way you were comfortable with. "And all of you would be okay with that?"

"Of course. Anything you may need or want, we'll do. All you have to do is ask."

None of it truly changed what would happen, and you were fully aware that despite how you felt, you would still be going with them. It all just boiled down to whether you would go willingly or by force.

And yet, there was still some relief in knowing you now had time. You may have very well been in the same position you were before, having no real say in whether you got to stay or go, but there was some ease of mind knowing you could do things on your time, that you had some time to sort through your thoughts and feelings and not be forced into anything else you weren't comfortable with. There was peace in knowing you had some of the power in your hands, in knowing you still had some control over how exactly your fate would play out. It wasn't much, but it was more than you had before.

"Okay," you took another breath, doing your best to stop the blush that was creeping up the back of your neck at his words. You knew he didn't mean they would do absolutely anything for you, not if it meant losing you, but it still made your stomach flop. "I'll think about it."

~

Do you need something?

You jumped at the voice that rang out in your head, breaking the inner monologue you had been mulling over for the past twenty minutes in your attempt to decide whether it was a good time to approach him or not. Looking up, you saw Hongjoong had stopped sparring for the moment to talk with a daemon soldier, but his gaze had turned in your direction, brow raised as he awaited your response.

Can we talk?

To your surprise, he nodded. You hadn't known what exactly you were doing when it came to talking to him through the bond, but it seemed as though whatever you had done had worked and gotten through to him.

You had little time to celebrate your accomplishment, quickly noting the way he grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped up his conversation with the lesser daemon before making his way over. After talking with Yeosang the day before, you had spent the majority of that day and night thinking over everything he had said and what it had meant for you. And the more you pondered over it, the more you came to realize what your next step would have to be. Talking with Yeosang could only do so much. If you truly wanted to hash out what was to happen with you now and set the boundaries you wished to set, you were left with no choice but to speak with all of them. But first, you needed to clear a few things up with Hongjoong.

It had taken you nearly an hour to gather the courage to go through with it once you realized it was the next reasonable step for you to take, and then another once you had narrowed down his location in the camp. When you had seen what he was up to, you very nearly retreated then and there, especially since Wooyoung, San, and Jongho had also been there. This wasn't the first time you had found them here, often catching sight of one or two out in the fields on your way to some corner of the camp. And though you often diverted your eyes and hurried along, that hadn't stopped you from sneaking a few peaks as you did, especially today.

You had retreated to a nearby tree, doing your best to shroud your body in shadows as you attempted to wait him out before fully giving up. And though your eyes had done their best to focus on the sketchbook in hand, it hadn't stopped them from peaking over the cover every so often. You had told yourself it was to check and see if Hongjoong was free yet, but the excuse never covered the way your eyes lingered for a few extra seconds before returning to your lap.

You knew they were skilled, but it was still something else seeing them in action. Even if they weren't using their full potential against each other, it was still clear to you why none of them had ever been stopped before. Your eyes had struggled to keep up with their movements, not just from the speed in which they moved, but the way their muscles had rippled, eliciting a very similar feeling to the one with Yeosang before.

"C'mon, why don't we go somewhere a little more private?"

You jumped once more at his approach, quickly shutting the sketchbook in your lap and hoping he didn't take notice of the fact it was him who you had been drawing. Only once it was safely tucked away did you take the hand he extended towards you and allowed him to help pull you to your feet.

You struggled to get a read on him, taking quick note of the distance he had put between the two of you since the last time you had talked. He was guarded, more so than he had been the last time, and you were quickly reminded of the way things had ended between you. Of the last words you had said to him. And though they had been the truth, you still began to regret them in that moment, fully aware of the way they had cut him and how you would have never dared to say it if it hadn't been for your own heightened emotions.

"I'm sorry if anything I said or did that night hurt you," you started once he had led you back to the place where it had begun between you. "It's just, everything happened so fast and nothing you said or did could have prepared me for what you said and I panicked."

"You have no reason to apologize. You were right in what you had said. I never should have bonded you to us then. Not without your consent, and in doing so, I had hurt you." He leaned against the table that took up the center of the room, looking everywhere but at you. "It was just so overwhelming finally seeing you after all that time that I didn't think. I was terrified of losing you, and after everything I had been through to finally get to this point, I acted on impulse to make sure I never would. It might not feel this way from your view, but I did it for you. Everything I did was for you. To ensure your safety. To ensure your happiness. And yet, I've already failed."

You sunk down on the edge of the bed, the effect his words had on you making you unstable. The intimacy in his tone making you all the more uncomfortable, even more so since it was coming from him. Even with all the time you had spent processing everything, to not only be in his presence, but at the end of his concern, was still so strange. You weren't used to this type of attention, this care and concern they all seemed to shower onto you, and it only added to the insecurities that had plagued you since he had revealed you were their mate.

"What you did wasn't right, and I'm still struggling with my frustrations towards you all for it, but after talking with Yeosang and thinking over some things myself, I think I might be willing to give this all a chance, but," you raised your hand before he had a chance to respond, "I still need to clarify a few things with you and the others first. And then, if I'm comfortable with the answers you give me, maybe we can work something out. Or at least make me more willing to go with you."

"Of course. Please, ask away."

He did his best to contain the reaction your response gave, but you still felt a shiver of excitement roll through you in that instance. And though you didn't know exactly how you knew it, you were fully aware that emotion hadn't been your own, but the man's next to you. His emotions momentarily leaking into you through the bond that linked you.

"In a minute." You shook your head. "Not only do I think that it would be best if everyone was present for them so I can hear from you altogether, but there's still something I need to discuss with you before we can move on to that."

"Your father," Hongjoong answered for you. "Yes, Yeosang said you would probably come asking about it."

"I need to know what happened. If he was innocent, and someone else is to blame for my mother's death," your breath shook, the thought of finally discovering what had gone down that night was nearly overwhelming, "I think I deserve to know."

"I'll tell you, but," he lifted a finger to stop the rebuttal that began to claw its way out of your throat at but, "it won't be easy to hear. And I don't doubt you'll wish to be alone once the story has been told in full. If you wish to talk to us about making things work, I doubt you'll feel much like talking once we're done here."

You took a deep breath, the ominous message behind his words making you shiver. Yeosang had said things were more complicated than they seemed from the surface, but both had hinted at the truth being hard to hear. And why was that? Because they had allowed the thought of your father actually being a good man to bloom? And to hear he had still snapped and killed your mother would only serve to make it worse for you than it had been before?

"Then I guess you'll just have to wait." You set your face and nodded your confirmation. Hard to hear or not, this was something you still needed to know. Especially if the rest of them had also played a role in it all.

"My father was not a kind man, and he did many terrible things during his reign as king. He craved the power his position held and did everything he could to gain more, no matter the cost. He loathed the fact that I was stronger than him, that I could take everything away from him if I so wished, so he did everything in his power to ensure I kept my place beneath him." His words mirrored a similar sentiment Yeosang had held towards the the former king and you were quick to notice how they elicited a similar response from him. "And as time went on and the daemons became less happy with his rule, his paranoia became increasingly worse and only served to add to the cruelty he showed them. It was clear that someone needed to put a stop to it, and that I was one of the only daemons who was able to stop him, but I didn't know how. I was stronger, but he knew my weaknesses and played them to his strengths. He knew how close I was with my own guard and had no shame in exploiting it. He may have been no match for me, but my guard was not and they were the ones who suffered whenever I stepped out of line."

"He hurt them?"

It was just as much a statement for yourself to process just exactly he was hinting at as it was a question to him, absolutely appalled. When Yeosang had mentioned the previous king had been cruel, you had expected a cruelty akin to the rumors you had grown up hearing about daemons as a whole. You hadn't expected to hear of a man who was so jealous of his own son and the power he held, that he actively hurt others to make sure he did exactly what he wanted him to.

"My father took great pride in the ability he obtained from my grandfather, the one that allowed him to take control of another person's body so long as some of his blood had entered their system. For reasons we never did quite understand, it did not work against me, nor was I able to use it against him, so all I could do was stand and watch as he made them enact his cruelty on them, themselves." Hongjoong shuddered, and despite everything he had done to you, it didn't stop the wave of sympathy that filled you in that moment. "They always insisted it was fine. That it wasn't my fault, but how was it not? If I so much as questioned anything he did or showed the slightest ounce of disobedience, they were the ones who suffered for it."

"But they were right." You stood up from your seat on the bed, cautiously approaching him and placing your hand against the one he had braced against the table behind him. "It wasn't your fault. That blame lies on your father. Not you. And no matter what he might have said to convince you otherwise, he's wrong."

"Thank you." He seemed surprised by your presence, but he didn't push you away. Instead, he only leaned further into you, shifting his body closer towards yours. "That means a lot coming from you, even if I don't quite believe or deserve it. But, you didn't come to me to hear about my past, but what happened to your father." He paused for a second, taking a deep breath before continuing. "You see, your father may have been one of the king's guards, but he hated the man he had become. He refused to stand by and allow the cruelty to continue, so one day he approached me when my father was out of town. He told me what he had been thinking and proposed a plan to assassinate my father. It was a good plan if done perfectly, one where no one would end of being killed, but before we could follow through with it, it fell through. Despite the precautions we had put in place, my father still somehow received word of something going on. And I swear, if it wasn't for your father or Seoyun, all of us would have probably died that night."

You shook at the wave of fear that coursed through you in that moment, tightening your hold on his hand as you blinked back the tears his sorrow caused. The pain and anguish that filled him was nearly overwhelming, and it was only a fraction of what he had felt that night.

"Angel, I'm so sorry." His frown increased when he looked up to see the tears that lined your eyes, suddenly aware that he had slipped and allowed his emotions to flow over into you. "I didn't-"

"It's okay." You shook your head, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze to tell him it was fine. "I don't mind. I mean, can I really complain after the hell I've probably caused you to go through because I can't control mine yet? You don't have to worry about keeping them locked away, at least not for my sake."

He nodded, though you still felt the emotions pull back from you in the moments that followed. "Seoyun was able to settle his rage before anything got too out of hand, and to ensure something like this never happened again, he sent Minsu away to the humans. And for the next fifteen years, I didn't dare step another foot out of line; at least not until you suddenly appeared in my life."

"This Seoyun you mentioned, who is she?"

"A... childhood friend and someone who's saved our lives more times than I can count. You see, she's one of the daemons who have seemed to slip through the cracks of the spell and was born with a unique ability. Without her ability to influence others' emotions, we never would have been able to quell my father's rage when he got worked up."

You nodded, wondering why he had paused in mentioning his relation to this woman and if it meant what you thought it meant. You didn't care. Really you didn't. You knew Hongjoong was your mate, but that didn't mean that you wanted him in that way. At least not yet. And if he had past relations with other women, you didn't care.

"But, like I said," Hongjoong continued, pulling your thoughts from Seoyun and what might have occurred between the two of them before, "your father was sent to observe the humans and I didn't dare to try anything else until my first vision of you appeared. Even to this day, I can still see it clearly. Of Minsu's face staring down at you as though you were the most precious thing in the world. If the shock of you finally being born wasn't enough, it was knowing you were Minsu's daughter. And unfortunately for all of us, I wasn't able to hide my emotions well enough and it wasn't long before my father found out."

"He killed them, didn't he?"

You had known it was coming, but it did little to lighten the weight of it as the realization sunk in. You had never known either of your parents; at least not long enough for you to count knowing them, but knowing the truth still hurt because it changed everything. You had had your suspicions over the years through Soomin, but knowing that he had truly loved her, had truly loved you, sent you reeling.

"We tried to stop him. Once I recieved word he was traveling to Maehwa, Yeosang and I raced after him, but we were too late to save your mother. Fortunately, Minsu had some warning, as you and your siblings were gone by the time my father arrived. And to ensure he didn't spend the next weeks hunting you three down, Yeosang used his ability to fake your deaths."

You were silent, fighting the wave of emotions that soared through you. Hongjoong had been right when he said the truth would be hard to hear, but not in the way you had expected. Hearing your father was actually a monster would have been easy to hear compared to this. Compared to the knowledge his and your mother's deaths were all because of you.

"No," Hongjoong shook his head, hearing the direction your thoughts had taken. The hand under yours slipped out, reaching for your chin and forcing you to look up at him. "It wasn't your fault. If anyone's to blame, it's me. If I had done a better job at hiding it, he never would have found out and your parents would have never died. It's my fault, angel. Not yours. It's my fault for not standing up to my father when I should have. So if you have to put the blame somewhere, put it on me."

It was strange; mourning people you had never even known. Mourning a life that had never been yours and yet, could have if things had only played out a little different. For years, you had kept everything bottled up inside, hiding the pain behind a mask of anger. And now that the anger was gone, there was nothing to stop the sorrow that had built up all those years.

You're a lot like him, you know, Yeosang had said. He would have absolutely adored you.

At the time you had hated those words, hated him for comparing yourself to your father, but now, now they sent a wave of warmth flowing through you.

"I won't lie, a part of me wants to, but I can't and I won't." You closed your eyes, understanding now why Hongjoong had warned you about hearing the truth and why Yeosang had insisted it was him you hear it from. "Because it's not true. It's not right. Your father's sins are not your own and he's the only one we have the right to blame here, however hard it may be."

"Angel." The word was nothing more than a breath and before you knew what was happening, he had pulled you flush against him and into a tight embrace.

You tensed, fully aware of just who was holding you as though his very life depended on it. But at the soft, mumbling "Thank you," that followed, you allowed yourself to slowly sink into his touch, wrapping your own arms around him. After everything the both of you had gone through to get to this point right here, this was something you both needed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have." Hongjoong was the first to pull back, stepping fully away. "Do you wish to be alone?"

"No," you shook your head, "You may stay if you wish. I... I might have more questions for you in a moment."

"Of course," he nodded, "whatever you need."

He guided you to back to the bed and you sank down along the edge with little resistance, giving your legs some much needed rest before they collapsed on you. He sat down beside you, far enough away that you had enough space to be comfortable, but close enough to know he was there if you were to need anything.

"You came after me. You could have just left me and the others to die, but you didn't. Why?"

"Because you were my mate. I would have done anything and everything to keep you safe."

“But I was a halfbreed.”

"Perhaps when I was younger I might have cared. I'm not proud to say that I viewed half-daemons differently then and I could blame it on the way I was raised and the community I grew up in, but I should have known better. I should have known that one's lineage or blood had nothing to do on their character." He took a deep breath, carefully gauging your reaction out of the corner of his eyes. "It was your father who helped to change my view, as well as other members of my guard who had spent their first few years of life differently than I. So, when it came to be known that Yeosang wasn't fully daemon, I realized everything my father had told me was wrong. They weren't a pest or scourge so many daemons liked to claim. They weren't any less than those pure of blood. For how could they, when one of them had helped to save myself and the other guard members from my father's wrath so may times?

"And never once did I ever think negatively of you for your lineage. In fact, I cherished it. Because I knew through you, change might finally come."

"I think," you spoke after a few moments of silence, "I think I'd like to have that talk with you and the others now."

"Are you sure, angel? You don't have to, we can-"

"No, I'm sure." You nodded. "Knowing the truth of what happened to my father might have been difficult to hear and it might be a while before I can fully take in what happened, but there is also great relief in it as well. I'll now mourn for them and the life that could have been, but knowing that my father was innocent has lifted a weight on my shoulders I didn't even know was there. And for the first time in my life, I'm... I'm proud to say he was my father." Tears pricked at your eyes, the weight that was lifted at admitting those words causing another wave of emotions to course through you. "And after everything you've just told me, about him and the others, there are other questions I wish to ask, but feel as though it would be better if everyone was here."

"If that is what you wish, then I will call them."

"Thank you," you replied, doing your best to wipe the last of the tears away and to straighten yourself up before the others arrived.

At no surprise to you, Seonghwa was the first to arrive, teleporting next to you mere seconds after Hongjoong had informed you they were on their way. You had expected him to pull such a move, wanting to beat the others to you, but you still jumped when he suddenly appeared beside you.

Mingi and Yunho were next to arrive, whispering between themselves as they entered the tent. Their words fell away when they saw you sitting in between Hongjoong and Seonghwa on the bed, and they each sent a reassuring smile in your direction alongside their greeting.

San, Wooyoung, and Jongho followed closely after, the dust scattered across their clothes and the hair that clung to the back of their necks and face showing they must have continued sparring throughout your conversation with Hongjoong.

The last to arrive was Yeosang, and his appearance quickly brought back everything Hongjoong had said about him. How he had saved your life when he used his ability to make the former king believe you to already be dead and how he had also used it to save the others from him as well.

Just what had they gone through before? Hongjoong mentioned no specifics when it came to the way his father had punished each of them, but the pain you had felt through Hongjoong was all you needed to know. The suffering they had gone through at his hands was something you could never fully understand, but it didn't stop the burst of sympathy that came through you or the sudden urge you had to comfort them. To tell you how sorry you were for the pain they had endured and how you wished you could have been there to ease it.

But that would have to wait. Now was not the time nor place for it, and if you wanted to get to that place, you would need to secure your footing with them now. You couldn't afford to let yourself get pulled into their lives when you were still wondering just what your place with them was.

"I called you all here because I've done quite a bit of thinking these past few days," you began, eyes trained at the hands fiddling in your lap, "and despite things starting off rather badly, after talking with Yeosang and Hongjoong, I think I might just be willing to give this whole thing a try. To give you all a try, but I do have some final questions for all of you before I make my final decision. The first being what exactly would it look like if I were to accept?"

"I should think it would be obvious," Hongjoong began when the responsibility of the answer fell on him. "You are my mate, and through the bond that now binds us all, you are also theirs. Each of us are in agreement to treat you as such. You'll be taken care of, given anything you may require or desire, and when the proper time comes, you'll become queen."

"And you're all okay with that?" Your voice shook, unable to ignore the fact Hongjoong had just explicitly stated he had full intention of making you his queen when the time came. But you pushed it aside for the moment, choosing to focus on the more important topic at the moment; the one that your fate balanced upon. "This whole sharing a mate thing, I mean. You're all okay with it?"

"It was a bit strange at first, sure," Mingi was the one to respond first, beating Hongjoong. "I don't think any of us were expecting it to happen when Hongjoong was crowned and the bond reached its full strength, but you have to understand the bond between mates is unlike anything else, and many consider it to be the most sacred aspects of the maetha inside us. As someone who had never experienced this feeling until a few years ago, I'll be the first to attest that it's not something you can just easily push aside. And the additional bond that ties us all together only further intensifies those feelings."

"It's not very often mates end up rejecting one another, and there's good reason for it," Yunho continued. "You might not feel it quite as strongly as us due to your human side, but I'm sure even you can feel it to some extent, especially with our other bond. A yearning that starts in the pit of your stomach, growing stronger with each passing moment you spend together and subconsciously pulling you in closer, filling you with a desire that becomes harder and harder to ignore. And then that terrible aching in your chest when you're apart from each other, growing worse the longer you're away. Not enough to kill you, but enough to drive you to near insanity."

"It's why the Black Guard are born without mates." Seonghwa added at your side, and you were quick to note the truth behind Yunho's earlier words. At some point in the conversation, Seonghwa had placed his hand down on the bed behind you and you found yourself slowly leaning back into it, nearly closing the gap between you. "To neglect them of a bond that powerful would be torture and they would never be able to fulfill their roles and put the king before any and everyone else. Hongjoong knew this, so when we discovered what had happened when we each saw the vision of you on your eighteenth birthday, he wasted little time in deciding what would happen and that we would all just share you."

"It might be strange, but we've almost spent a century together at this point. Our entire lives have been spent leaning and trusting on one another. The idea that we would now all share a mate felt more natural than any of us had expected. And as someone who's always yearned to experience a relationship such as this, it was like a dream come true." Jongho's face tinted pink at his confession, and the sincerity in which he looked at you in that moment almost caused you to blush.

It was the very same sincerity that traced each of their features, all but ensuring each of them were speaking the truth. As crazy as it was to you, none of them seemed bothered by the fact they would be sharing you, nor show any trace of jealousy, at least at the moment. Not even Hongjoong, who made no motion to rebuke any of the their statements, caring more about them and their own wellbeing than being upset by the fact he would be sharing his mate with each of them.

"I'll admit you've each put up a pretty convincing argument," you began after a few moments of silence, "but you're all skipping over a rather important piece of information, especially if you're convinced of treating me the way you claim you will. How are the other daemons going to respond to this? This bond between us and your history with my kind might have made it easier for each of you to accept me, but what about the others? What will you do when my presence causes an uproar? Because believe me, it will."

“If anyone were to speak ill of you or attempt to harm you in any way, they’ll be dealt with accordingly-”

"In which case you don't mean murdering them, right?" You quirked a brow over at San, knowing exactly what the hand of justice looked like to the daemons. Hongjoong might have not been his father, but his past actions had shown he was just as willing to kill for the right reason. "You can't just go around killing anyone and everyone who has wronged me in some way. Not only is that a terrible way to foster a better relationship between daemons and my kind, but it makes me feel terrible," you continued, stopping him or anyone else who tried to rebuke your sentiments. "And besides, if you did, then just about everyone in this world would be dead, including each of you."

"You make a valid point, but," Mingi responded, elbowing San in the side to get him to shut up before he said anything else that might have upset you further, "if anyone dared to threaten your life or safety, none of us can guarantee that we would be able to reign in our wrath the way you might want us to. We're not quite as merciful as you are, angel."

"Not that anyone would ever be able to make it that far though," Wooyoung piped up. "None of us would ever let anything happen to you. Your safety and happiness are our top priority."

"Perhaps there may be times when death is unavoidable, but I hope you would only act on it if my life was actually in danger and there was no other choice. Otherwise, I would prefer not only for you to not kill them, but to let me deal with it on my own. I may not be very capable in a fight, but I can handle a few nasty words thrown my way. I've had my whole life to practice, after all," you sighed, already fully aware of the chaos your presence was going to cause and wondering what the hell you were thinking to consider willingly subjecting yourself to it.

"Which leads me to another important note. If this is going to work, you're going to let me do things my way and on my own time. I'm still beyond frustrated at you all and the way you forced me into this. And though coming to learn your actions might have been done with a pure intent, that doesn't excuse them or change the fact they still hurt me. For weeks I was left confused and terrified for my life. I thought I was going to die, and then you dump this crazy, fucking mess on me, leaving me even more confused and terrified than I was before." You paused for just a moment, catching your breath. "My whole life I've been told I'm nothing and that I'll amount to nothing. I've been called any and all the names for a person of my status and have been rejected because of it more times than I can count. And sure, you learn to ignore it after a while, otherwise you'll drive yourself insane, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. Each and every insult and rejection slowly chipping away at me." You pulled your knees up to your chest, burying your chin in between them. "And when everyone around you holds that same sentiment towards you, it only takes so long for it to start creeping in. You can only tell yourself it's not true for so long before you start to fall for their lies. Before you start to believe it yourself. So when you tell me something completely different than what I've been led to believe my entire life, it's... hard. And it hurts. It hurts because..."

I know if I wasn’t your mate, none of you would have made a passing glance in my direction. 

You didn't dare voice it out loud, not quite ready to bare yourself that much to them, but at the way Seonghwa's arm tensed behind you, you knew you had just done it again and each one of them had heard the words that had just rang through your head.

"And believe me when I say I don't blame you for it. After all, why would you?" Your words were soft, muffled against your legs as you sunk further into yourself. "I mean, you're the fucking daemon king and his seven generals; the most powerful men in this part of the world. And I'm what? Just someone who was lucky to be born. So why would any of you have ever given me a passing thought if it wasn't for the fate that now ties us altogether?"

"Angel-"

"No," you shook your head, cutting Yunho off. "I didn't tell you any of that to gain your sympathy or pity, so please don't give it to me. It'll only make things worse for me. I only wish for you to understand why I reacted in the way I did. To understand why I hold so many reservations towards it all and why we have to do it my way for things to work. Because if we continue down this road you've started, it's not going to end well for any of us."

“Take any and all the time you need, angel,” Wooyoung responded. “We’ll be here waiting whenever you’re ready.”

“Even if it takes years?”

“We’re daemons, remember, pretty?” Seonghwa doesn’t miss a beat beside you. “Once you start nearing a century, a few years is nothing.”

“And what if it was a century?”

“I’ve waited that long already, what’s another one?” Hongjoong returned. “Especially now that I’ve finally found you.”

“If that’s what you believe, then you’re crazy,” you huffed, but a hint of a smile tugged at your lips. “No one is worth that long of a wait.”

“Then I guess we’re all just crazy,” San hummed from across the room. “Because I, for one, think you are more than worth the wait.”

At the murmur of agreement that traversed the room, you found yourself burying your head in your legs once more. No longer from an attempt to comfort yourself, but from the way their words left a blush to bloom across your face. Never in your life had anyone expressed this sort of sentiment towards you, and you struggled to control the way your stomach flipped at the thought. 

And for the first time since you had met them, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this life wouldn’t be too bad. If maybe the fate that had tied you to them wasn’t the end of the world. That maybe, just maybe, a part of you was almost happy to be their mate. 

~

a/n: taglists will now be in a reblog :) thanks for all your love and support

[bdo-esme-meles]

The Friendly Face

Winter was cooling the region of Balenos as sea winds brought with it the chill of ice in the air, overcasting the port town of Velia with thick clusters of dark clouds, threatening rain and perhaps even snow. Even so, the holiday spirit was in the air as the great Cron tree was set up and decorated, festive finery livening up the town from wreaths to ribbons, garlands to ornaments. A young Maehwa moved through the folk of the port town, bustling about their daily business, an arm resting casually on the hilt of her katana strapped to her waist, golden eyes taking in the scenery as she wandered aimlessly.

Her eyes would fall upon a man exiting a house, one he had just purchased in the interest of bringing trade to Velia. Red of hair, and pale of skin that has been warmed by the sun and freckled by it as well, the man turns. He offers a view of a neatly trimmed fiery beard, and almost a topknot of hair shaven on the sides of his head, long on top and tied back. A near-smile graces his face, a pleasant-looking fellow. A young man, possibly in his 20s or close to it. His armor is well-made and well-used, polished, yet with plenty of dents and dings, signs of repair and welding to fix it. He is s smith by trade, as is his father, as that is their House business. There is a horse stabled in front of the humble domicile, which the man walks over to. A strapping stallion, perhaps bred for war. The man gently pats it, giving it some tlc and half of an apple. He then walks on his way into the crowd, offering waves and smiles to all who greet him or look his way.

She caught sight of the individual as she made her way down the main road into the town, the rumble of wagons passing by and horses splashing through the muddy puddles joining the chorus of ocean waves and the shrill cry of sea birds winging over head, the air humming with the chatter of the port folk. It was a new scene for her, Velia. It was her first time in the area. As such, she was unaccustomed to the chaos that often ruled the streets and it was do to that inexperience that she fell victim to it. Not paying attention, she soon found herself bumped rather rudely by a horse being driven much too quickly by its rider and staggered back, losing her footing in the thick mud churned up by hooves and wagon wheels and landed in a puddle with a squelch and a yelp, now wet and filthy.

Toman rushes to her aid, tsking at the errant rider. "Slow down!" He calls after them, as he hurries over, the clank of armor sounding dully in the busy air as he reaches down to offer her an arm up. It is not coddling, he does not treat her like a damsel, but as a woman and a warrior. Having seen her katana, and knowing only the most competent of warriors living by a solemn code tend to wield them. She does not look like a bandit after all. 

"Well you look a bit dirty, but unharmed I hope?" He offers her a disarming pearly smile, eyes crinkling slightly with his joyful demeanor.

Embarrassed but otherwise intact, she blinked up at the man that came to her aid, using the back of her hand to wipe a spattering of mud from her cheek whilst accepting his offered arm with the other to stand. Her well maintained and polished armor, a trademark of her calling, was caked with muck and left her looking rather disheveled indeed. Despite her misfortune, she merely sighed calmly and attempted to wipe away some of the mud now clinging to her legs, remarking casually as she did so, "Just my dignity, good sir." 

 She looked up to meet his gaze, at last, taking in his features as he was rather handsome indeed but more so, his eyes held a genuine kindness in them that was hard to find. She bowed to him politely, bending at the waist as she thanked him for his help."You are very kind, thank you for your help." 

She was a shorter young woman, certainly more so than the young lasses that inhabited the port town of Velia or even Balenos for that matter, her short hair a dark chocolate hue of brown and golden eyes like polished coin meeting and holding his stare. Her complexion was naturally bronzed, kissed by the sun, and she carried her self with grace and confidence.

He nods in understanding of the slight to one's dignity let alone good quality armor. "I hope this does not sound to forward of me, but my home is just down the street. There is a washbasin, and even a bath if you would like. Do not worry, there are two rooms with a lockable door, the bath is in the bedroom. It's a simple home, one I just bought and furnished, but should you desire yourself clean and warm, I offer it." 

He bows back to her, knowing it is customary to do so in respect, dipping almost as low as she, trying his best anyway! Hazel eyes, a burst of gold around black pupils that is surrounded by forest green strands that look like trees blossoming out from the gold greet her chocolate gaze. Warmth and confidence are held within. "I am Toman Krown. Knight, smith, and new homeowner." He says with a slight chuckle.

She considered him a moment, reading his face and posture before nodding at length. "Well met, Sir Krown. I appreciate and gratefully accept your generous offer. The sooner my gear is cleaned, the better. Filthy armor never served anyone well." 

She offered him a small nod, indicating for him to lead the way and fell into step beside him, her gaze now more vigilant of her surroundings. "Is it always so... hectic here?" she implored as they avoided more wagons on their way towards the little building situated just off the main road that served as Toman's abode. "It seems so pointless to be in such a constant rush all the time. I can not imagine living in such a bustling place."  

She paused as they reached his door and turned to him once more, looking a bit sheepish, "Forgive my poor manners. My name is Esme. Once again, thank you for the kindness you have shown me today."

He chuckles as he walks the short distance beside her, giving her a grin and a shrug before looking back to the crowd. "Truth be told? I just arrived a few days ago. I had been here once before, and it was less crowded. But this place is a failed port, it could have been a city if the money hadn't dried up for a proper dock. It still serves as a hub for all the surrounding farmland though." 

Once reaching the modest home, he gives his horse a pat, sitting in a makeshift single stall stable. It's mostly just shoulder-height walls, and a roof to cover from the rain. 

"Meet Bastion." He says with a smile, then leads her to the door. He unlocks it and steps in first, allowing her the ease of being able to see his home and decide herself whether or not to step in. He wasn't lying, there is a rug for their boots, a table and chairs, bookshelf, cabinet, and then the bedroom beyond.

She gave a small smile to the steed standing by in his stall before following Toman into his home, looking around casually. It was modest but comfortable and she took comfort in the absence of the more extravagant things. At least she wouldn't have to stress about getting such shiny baubles dirty. "Your home seems quite comfortable," she remarked. 

 She passed one more glance around before letting her gaze settle back upon her host, "Washroom?" It would be rude to just march right on into his bedroom so she politely waited for his direction. And perhaps a towel she could borrow as she unshouldered a small pack from her back, which looked as though it had certainly seen better days.

He hums, thanking her genuinely. "Not bad for a couple of days, right?" He points towards a basin on a table by the door to the bedroom as he pulls off cloak, glove, and some of his armor to rest it upon a t-shaped rack inside his room. It is adorned with only a bed, bathtub, dresser, armor stand and a chest of his personal effects. 

"You can wash your clothes there, and I will bring the pot in from the hearth and you'll have a warm bath to ward off the cold water and mud. I would offer to wash your back, but again, wouldn't want to be too forward." He says that with a wink, going about preparing the room for her. He's a bachelor male, he doesn't think much about privacy in a two-room home. 

"You can just leave your cloak on the rack for now, and your boots on the doormat. Oh, there's a fresh towel hanging on the side of the tub."

She lets slip another small grateful sigh and slips her boots off, followed by her cloak which hung heavy with puddle water. She then moved towards the room with her bag in tow. She sat her pack aside and began loosening the ties that tethered her armor in place, her sash and katana coming to rest beside her perch where she sat. Once the bulky scale mail was removed she set it aside, clad in leathers that did little to hide the natural sultry curve of her fit figure. Digging in her pack, she withdrew a car kit for her armor and began cleaning it, holding off on her own grooming for the moment, brow furrowed with concentration as she worked to get the mud out of the plating.

Toman, of course, offers to help her undo the armor, knowing how time-consuming it can be to don and doff it alone. Whether or not she agreed, he set about gathering an empty basin for the refuse, and wrung her cloak out carefully into it. Without asking, he has come to help her care for her gear, invited her into his home, offered her a bath and solace from the weather. Going about it as if it were the expected thing to do. He offers her smiles and nods, asking her about where she came from, what brought her here, and so on.

Winter was cooling the region of Balenos as sea winds brought with it the chill of ice in the air, overcasting the port town of Velia with thick clusters of dark clouds, threatening rain and perhaps even snow. Even so, the holiday spirit was in the air as the great Cron tree...

Pausing for a moment as she considered their sudden conundrum, she steps back from the door so he could enter, hastily grabbing a towel to wrap about herself for modesty's sake. Once he moved into the room to pour the pot's contents into the tub, letting the hot water mix with cold to create a pleasantly warm bath for his guest, she watched him awkwardly, her shapely legs exposed as a foot rose to sheepishly rub along the back of her other calf, her cheeks slightly rosy but her gaze ever-watchful upon him. She had such tiny, cute little feet!

The man tries his damndest to inspect the floorboards for any clods or flakes of mud to clean up later as she wraps a towel about herself. His cheeks color ever so slightly, his mind wandering just briefly to what the warrior might look like under the armor. Curve and tone, muscle and femininity. It is a weakness of his, that. His eyes wander to her feet, so dainty for a fighter! Forcing his gaze not to rise he stammers as the water is poured. It is a miracle he does not spill it onto the floor! He has freshly tiled that part of it, building a slight threshold of a single layer of brick and tile to keep any water from spilling onto the worn wood. "Your pardon Esme." 

With that he bumps his shoulder accidentally on the door jamb on the way out, his eyes still downcast so as not to stare at her. "Ow. Damned walls always getting in the way..." His joke is half muttered, an attempt to distract from his flushed cheeks and nervous manner. They have just met, after all, it wouldn't do to see her unclothed even with a towel. Even if his mind tries to dwell on such things in the moment of curiosity and appreciation for all things beautiful.

Despite herself, Esme felt herself crack a small smile, brows knitting lightly as he bumped into the door on his way out, attempting to hide it behind the back of her hand. It was a relief that he held true to his honor- and hers- despite the temptation of catching a peek at her. She appreciated it more than he knew. With the door closing behind him, she moved to the tub and checked the water, slipping in once she was satisfied with the temperature. She let slip a soft sigh, feeling the chill from the dampness and mud ease away, her hands using water to rid her skin of the filth from the road and puddles. 

 She didn't spend long in the bath, doing what needed to be done to clean and refresh herself anew and wasting no time in stepping out to drain the dirtied and clouded water, her short hair dripping. She retrieved her towel, not wishing to waste it and seeing that it wasn't dirtied from before, she lightly tussled her hair and dried her body. Once done, she padded over to her pack and pulled clean garments from it, slipping on fresh undergarments and a plain mauve-colored cotton kimono, tethered with an orange cord rather than an obi. Dressed, she exited the washroom, dabbing at her hair a bit more with her towel to avoid the damp strands dripping. All in all, it took her less than ten minutes to clean up.

Meanwhile, the man had sat down, working hard at cleaning her soiled clothes. She might have heard him sloughing the clothes across the wooden washboard to clean them. In ten minutes time, her clothes were hanging up to dry over a line spread up above the mantle, relying on the heat rising from the fireplace to dry them a bit quicker. Looking back over his shoulder as the door opens he quickly calls out, "Are you Dec-oh my... you look... that is a lovely... wow." 

Seems like he has forgotten how to speak momentarily. "Uhhhhh." Slack-jawed and staring with his sleeves rolled up and arms extended up onto the short clothing line.

Esme looked up to Toman's lack of coherent thought, her expression curious as she lowered the towel in her hands, walking over to join him. "Sir Krown... are you alright?" 

She raised n imploring brow, unsure as to why he was suddenly so out of sorts. It was obvious she was the sort of woman who was unaware of her natural beauty and probably never even thought twice about her looks in general so long as she was presentable. Golden hazel eyes regarded him as he stared back at her, her expression seeking reassurance that he was well.

He stammers for a moment longer, trying to find the words to express the simple exquisite beauty he found in that moment. "I just... yeah. Yes. I'm alright. You look stunning is all. Of course, anything would be a sight better than covered in mucky armor." 

He attempts a chuckle of good humor, trying to take his mind off his sudden embarrassment of not being able to talk. He fully focuses on finishing cleaning up, washing any errant mud from his arms, then rolls his sleeves down, standing to hang the washcloth on the line as well. Turning to hide the slight red in his cheeks.

Esme felt a small sheepish tug at the corner of her lips, a hint of color touching her cheeks at the unexpected compliment. She dipped her chin slightly in a gracious manner, "Oh... um... thank you...." 

Her words were a bit sheepish sounding, clearly awkward and not knowing what to say to his appraisal but she accepted it for what it was, placing her towel someplace where it could dry before seating herself to give her now clean armor a second once over for good measure. "And once again, thank you for your aid. You have been the kindest person I have encountered in Velia thus far. I must find some way to repay you."

Toman gathers his courage, the young man still finding himself through craft, honing himself through the arts of war and principles of chivalry and honor. As he turns, his voice is a bit more firm, a clear rasp of the file across the properly tempered steel of his newfound resolve instead of the soft and yielding scrape of soft metal mumbled and meek. His hazel eyes carry more weight behind their gaze, more confidence. "It is my pleasure to serve and aid one such as you Esme. Thank you for falling into my lap, figuratively speaking." 

A hint of wry and assured smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, slanting it upward slightly. Kindness is a banner to build a kingdom of wealth and friendship upon." In that poetic moment should a sudden peal of trumpets have sounded the man might look a King. 

"Your grace has been sullied by the streets of this town and the impatience of a rider I would assume to not even be from here. A warrior's pride has been salvaged, and a woman's grace and beauty have been extolled. I would call that a good day. The only payment I would ask is a repeat of your company someday in the not so distant future. Perhaps some work for my forge to further honor a warrioress." Toman bows deeply, borne of humility and service, of community and compassion.

Esme stared at him for a long moment, surprise on her face as she blinked a few time, long thick lashes fluttering before a quiet laugh bubbled forth. To say he caught her off guard was an understatement but she took it in stride, finding him charming in his own way. 

"You are a strange one but I like you. Not many make me laugh the way you do." She smiled at him, a growing fondness creeping into her amber gaze. "Perhaps I'll take you up on your offer to utilize your craft with the forge."

Her words make the man hum and he smiles pearly as he nods to her. "It was a pleasure meeting you indeed. I am sure you have somewhere to be, but at least now you can go on your way clean and proud." He says with a slight chuckle, the mention of the forge just making him smile all the wider. "I would be honored to test my skill with any projects you might have. Blades like yours take a long time to perfect."

Esme felt a bubble of pride blossom in her chest and she cast her gaze fondly upon her weapon, "That they do. My most prized possession... it holds a great deal of meaning for me." She looked back to her newfound friend, carefully considering his kind features. "Actually... I would like to ask you something, if I may?" Her hands settled comfortably at her sides as she faced him, her visage expectant.

The man continues to smile, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen down from the top of his head back into place. He was about to turn to leave but pauses a millisecond into doing so, and his hazels orbs latch onto hers, veiled by her lashes as they are. "Yes, Esme? Of course, you may, you always may." He responds in a gentle and warm tone, his time with her having kept his mood bright and warm all evening. Enough to make him wax poetic as he just did. His body turns to hers fully, all of his attention given her at that moment.

With a gracious dip of her head, she nodded, "Have you heard of a wandering dancer performing in the area? I have been attempting to track her down but she never stays in one place long. Goes by the name Vereena? Beautiful beyond all reason?" The intensity in Esme's imploring stare showed she wasn't joking and certainly keen on finding the person mentioned.

Toman pauses to think as he stands there outside his home talking to this wonderful happenstance of a woman fallen into his lap. Thinking back, he slowly shakes his head. "Mmm. No. You are the most beautiful woman I have seen in my time here, and your beauty has reason." He says with a grin, playing with the words of her question. Ever the curious one, he asks. 

"Why are you looking for her?"

She hadn't seemed to have expected such a response and blushed, blinking back at him before quickly clearing her throat to mask her awkwardness, "O-oh, hmm...ahem Yes... well... if you do, please let me know. We have... unfinished business." She frowned, the intensity in her gaze lessening some after being so thrown off but some of it still lingered.

Toman sets himself in a more rigid stance, bowing deeply to the woman with much cultural significance of respect. "I shall. Walk easy Esme. Where shall I find you if I have information regarding Vereena or on crafting you a weapon?"

She paused to consider it, thinking for a moment before her gaze met his again, "Heidel. There is a house near the western gate that leads towards Altinova, house number seven-five. You can leave any correspondence for me there." She allowed a hint of a smile to tug at her lips, dipping to return the bow. 

"Thank you for all your help. I hope we see one another again soon."

Giving the woman a final bow, and wishing her well, Toman goes along with his day, watching her leave until he can see her no more.