#before i even post it and it gets a chance to affect anybody

[findmeinforks]

Are You Happy Now? - Paul Lahote x Fem!Reader

Insane that one of my recent posts says 'Happy 2024' and now it's 2025 lol. It makes my heart happy to know that I'm not the only one still writing twilight fics. This is a long one, as always, tell me what you think ❤️

"You can't actually be serious right now?! You're telling me that you're willing to risk everyone's life over a fight that has nothing to do with you?"

You crossed your arms as you eyed Jacob incredulously.

You couldn't believe you were having this argument with him. Not to mention in the middle of Emily's living room, with all eyes on the two of you. The pack had never seen you this enraged before. Paul, your boyfriend, had seen you upset plenty of times. But even he was taken back at how erratic you were being. He stood just a few feet shy behind you, wondering when was a good time to step in and coax you away.

It was Bella who had told you that your beloved second family offered to help take on a group of rogue vampires. A so-called army of brand new bloodsuckers being sent for revenge on the Cullen clan. She was apologetic and defenseless, like she always was. You had a hard time staying mad at her when she had been this way all her life.

She didn't ask them to get involved, after all. But you knew just who to blame. The only person in this world, other than Edward, who would do anything for her affection.

"Oh, so you're saying you don't care about your sisters safety then?" Jacob questioned. You rolled your eyes, pointing a finger at his chest.

"Exactly. My sister. If anyone is allowed to have an opinion on this situation, it's me. And last I checked, she knew the risks when she got into a relationship with Edward. They all did. This is their responsibility to handle."

Jacob took a deep breath in, exasperated. You were like a sister to him yourself, way longer than you had been to any of the other pack members. He hated that he was fighting with you. But he was not going to back down when it came to saving Bella. He didn't want to admit that you had several points, being that Edward was dragging her along into a world full of danger.

However, that was also his point. He wanted to prove that he was the better man for her. Then maybe, just maybe, she would realize her love for him too.

"Either way, they're coming onto our territory. It is our duty to defend our people on our land."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "Please. You're only doing this for Bella and you know it."

Jacob's fingers flexed in agitation. His patience was wearing thin. "You know how I feel about her," he said through gritted teeth.

"I do actually," you said as your voice raised, walking closer to him.

"I know enough to know that she will ALWAYS choose Edward over anybody else in this world. I know that she will do just about anything to protect him, including offering her own life. I know that she would jump in seconds at the chance to become frozen in time with him forever. Oh yes....and I happen to know that SHES NOT EVEN YOUR FUCKING IMPRINT!!" You yelled, now millimeters away from his face.

You didn't have time to register his reaction as you were hurled backwards into Paul's arms, "That's ENOUGH." He said lowly in your ear, his breath hot with his own anger.

Sam and Jared immediately hauled Jacob's shaking body outside, who phased the moment he landed on the grass. The other boys ran out to join them, more afraid to face your wrath than anything else. Emily gave you a sympathetic look before she followed, leaving you and Paul alone.

His grip loosened as you whipped around to face him, pushing him off a little too harshly.

"This isn't fair and you know it. You have no obligation to this fight. You can't put your life on the line for this bullshit Paul."

Paul scowled at you, "You don't get to decide that for me Y/N. Jacob is my brother, and he would do the same for any one of us."

You throw your hands up, "Okay, so he's your brother. What about your imprint, huh? What would I do if something happened to you!?"

Paul huffs, "Nothing's going to happen."

"You don't know that," you say as you feel your throat constrict.

There's a pause, tension filling the air. Paul's hand instinctively reaches out to yours, but he retracts it in hesitance. If Paul was being brutally honest, he didn't know if he would be okay after this. The pack never faced an enemy this large in size. Deep down and admittedly, he was worried. Everyone was. But that was no reason to back down from those filthy cold ones. It wasn't in their nature to concede.

Paul inhales, breaking the silence, "I'm going to fight, Y/N."

Your lip starts to tremble as you fight off the verge of tears ready to spill. You were way past the point of just being frustrated. You took a deep breath, your voice cracking,

"Then I have to leave. I can't stand by and watch you do this.."

Paul's face softens then, "No, no. Come on, it's really late. Let's just go to bed and we'll talk about it tomorrow. It will be all over soon, okay? I promise baby."

Tears flowed freely down your cheeks now as you shook your head.

"We've talked about it, Paul. Over and over again. A million times. Nothings changing."

"That doesn't mean you have to leave," Paul lets himself reach out to you this time, a stab to his chest when you take a step back.

"I-I'm sorry...I can't." Before you could let Paul's hurt expression shatter you anymore, you turned to walk out the door.

You knew Paul wouldn't ever let you walk away that easily. You barely get your truck started before Paul practically wedged himself in the drivers door, preventing you from shutting it.

"Let me go Paul." You sighed, not looking him in the face. You knew the second you did, all walls would crumble. You had to stand your ground with this. Stubborn as it may be, you weren't willing to sit back and watch your imprint put himself in danger.

He gently cradled the side of your face with his right hand, ever so gently brushing a tear away with his thumb.

"Don't leave like this...please. We can figure this out." His voice hoarse and desperate.

"Will you consider not going?" You asked, already knowing the answer. The silence that came after was a dead give away.

Still not bearing to look at him, you could faintly hear the choke in his throat as he kissed your cheek so lightly that you could have almost imagined it.

"I love you, Y/N. I'll be here when you want to come home." he said, slowly stepping out of the truck and closing the door.

You took off then, sobs consuming your chest.

-------------------------------------------------------

The last two weeks had been nothing short of pure misery for Paul. You hadn't spoken to him since you left that night. He had completely succumb to the four walls of his room. His mood varied from agitated to disassociated. His chest was tight, his inner wolf clawing at the surface. He knew what it felt like to have an argument with you, to not be near you for a day. But this was torture.

The pack was on edge. Paul was a strong number they needed in this battle, and from what they could tell, he was significantly weakened by this. Physically and mentally. They hadn't seen a bond this strained since Sam's accident with Emily.

"It's one thing we have to deal with this battle, it's another to deal with hot head over there. I haven't seen him this miserable in years," Jared sighs as he squeezed Kim's knee under the table.

"It's hard to remember him before Y/N. She definitely changed him for the better....I just hope this isn't it for good." Kim says softly as she plays with her hair.

"It won't be. Trust me," Sam says as he takes a sip of coffee.

They hoped he was right. If Paul was going to be at his best for this, he had to see you first.

------------------------------------------------------------

Sam made his rounds to every room of the house, banging on doors and ordering the boys to get up. Grumbles and groans could be heard throughout the house, the lack of sleep from anticipation eminent. Paul trudged his way down the stairs, catching sight of the pack with their imprints. A sick feeling came to his stomach as he caught glimpses of each one of them hold onto the other like a vice.

He made his way through the foyer awkwardly. Sam tore his gaze away from Emily's eyes for a moment to look at Paul,

"Why don't you go outside with the others?"

Paul shot his head up, caught off guard at the bold suggestion of getting him to leave them alone,

"What, so you can all bang before we leave?" He asked crudely (albeit, jealously).

Sam just snickered, "Oh, you want to watch?"

Paul crinkled his nose in disgust, muttering some curse words under his breath as he headed for the door.

It was only when he looked up that he knew why Sam wanted him out here.

There you stood, at the bottom of the porch. Your arms hugged your body tight, as if you were nervously anticipating his arrival. When your gaze met his, your breath caught in your throat. You both were stood frozen for a moment, neither knowing what the other was thinking.

The bond in Paul's chest felt like it was about to explode. He itched at the idea of pulling you close, but too afraid you didn't come here for reconciliation, rather than to spit in his face and walk out of his life forever.

Then you spoke.

"I didn't come here because Im okay with this," you started, and Paul's heart skipped a beat, fearing his nightmare was coming true.

"But I can't..." you started, eyes welling up. "I can't imagine something happening to you, and us having left like this. Me, having left you. I-I love you Paul, and I-"

You didn't have to finish before Paul rushed and crashed into you, hands gripping your cheeks as he melted his lips on yours. It felt like fireworks in his chest, like the very first time. You pulled back to breathe for a second, relief flooding you as he quickly resumed the kiss, his hands moving to squeeze your hips so hard that they'd be lightly bruised later. You didn't care.

After what seemed like an eternity you both pulled back, Paul continuing to pepper kisses along the side of your face, savoring every inch of you.

"Oh and he thought WE were too much?!" Jared cackled as the rest of the pack filtered outside, shit eating grins on their face as they watched you two.

Paul ignored them, only looking at you. "I will come home to you, okay?"

You sniffled. "You promise?"

"I promise."

--------------------------------------------------------------

You mindlessly tapped your fingers against the kitchen countertop, staring into a blank space. The small timer went off, and you nearly leaped backwards into an equally panicked Emily.

"Oops. Sorry," she says sheepishly as she pulls out what feels like the 7th meal she's made since this morning.

"No worries, just almost had a heart attack," Kim giggled from the other side of the room.

The three of you decided to be together while the pack went to the fight. 'A good distraction' they had said it would be, and it was anything except that. Every minute that went by felt more anxious than the next.

"If the boys aren't hungry after this, you can feed the entire reservation," you chided as you looked at all the food.

"I cook when I'm stressed, if you didn't already know," Emily said as she picked at a muffin.

Before either of you could say something to try to ease her anxiety, Emily's cell started ringing, a picture of Sam appearing on the screen.

"THANK GOD," she said as she scrambled for her phone to answer.

"Hey baby, everything okay? How did it-" she stopped talking, Sam clearly having interrupted her. Her face paled as you and Kim desperately looked at each other, cursing yourselves for not telling her to put it on speaker. Emily is used to the boys super sonic hearing, knowing they'd be able to listen regardless.

"We'll be right there," she said quietly, ending the call.

"What the hell happened!??" Kim asked in a high pitch tone. It was then that you felt a knot in your stomach as Emily looked only at you,

"It's....it's Paul."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Emily's car skidded to a halt in front of the Black's house, your feet hitting the asphalt before it was even in park. You began to rush to the door, when you heard a bone chilling scream that made you stop.

All of the pack members had been outside, wincing at the sounds of terror. Sorrowful looks turned in your direction. Your heart dropped as a million thoughts raced through your mind, both needing to see him and being too frightened at what you may witness. It wasn't until your eyes landed on Jacob's tear stricken face that you snapped out of your thoughts. He had his eyes stuck on you, and for the big bad wolf he was, he looked near terrified.

Your eyes went wild as you marched straight to him, shoving him hard. He barely moved, being much stronger, but you could care less about being embarrassed at anything right now.

"Are you fucking happy NOW? HUH? All that talk about being a fucking hero and it's only my fucking imprint that gets hurt! Fuck you, Jacob. Was it worth it??!" You screeched.

Jacob had stood still, taking in every word, before slowly speaking, "Y/N.....I am so, so sorry. There was a stragler at the very end and-"

You didn't want to let him finish his pathetic apology,

"I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED! YOU WANTED THIS SO BAD AND YOU GOT IT. I WILL NEVER, EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND??" You cried.

Before he could give you a response, you felt a gentle, yet ice cold hand on your shoulder.

You whipped around, the temperature unfamiliar, to see the infamous vampire doctor. You sniffled, trying to wipe the tears away to no avail, "Is-is he okay?"

Even though you had pure hatred for the Cullen family at the moment, you weren't dumb enough to take it out on the only one clearly helping the love of your life. You'd appreciate him more if it weren't that they were the reason you were in this situation.

"He's going to be just fine. Bruised and battered right now...going to need a lot of morphine for the amount of energy his body has. Within a week, he should be all healed. You should know he's only been asking for you," he stated, a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you," you whispered, stepping past him and making your way inside. You could faintly hear him talk to Billy in the background, all your adrenaline seizing as you stopped short of the door where you knew Paul to be.

You felt selfish for being upset, not being able to imagine what he went through. You had to put on a brave face for him. Taking a deep breath, you walked in.

Paul was laying on his back, drenched in sweat, his chest glistening. Bandages wrapped around his torso in different ways, his left arm slung to his side. You'd seen him get hurt before, but this looked like pure agony. Regardless of how you knew he felt, Paul's eyes lit up when he sees you.

"Baby girl...I'm home," he said with a wide grin as he reached his uninjured arm out.

That's when you let the tears cascade. You ran to his bedside, so careful of the dressings as you leaned over to softly kiss him. He leaned his head up to kiss you fully, moaning lowly into your lips, and you were unsure if it was from bliss or from pain.

As you leaned back, his fingers ran up and held your cheek. "I'm going to kill your 'brother', by the way..." you whispered, causing him to chuckle.

"I don't want you to think about that right now. I want you to think about the fact that it's finally over, okay?" You nodded your head, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck, breathing him in.

You both were like that for awhile, before a woman cleared her throat. You turned around to see Sue in the doorway, smiling at the two of you.

"I just came in to set up the drip Carlise provided," she said as she walked into the room with medical equipment.

She pointed her finger at Paul, "Now, I need you to know that you have to primarily rest for the next week. No phasing. You need to take this medication three times a day, and make sure you eat a meal with it. Only drink water so that you can stay hydrated. Also....no strenuous activities." She looked at you both this time, your face heating up to a bright red.

Paul, the ever unbothered, turned to you and winked.

"Yeah we'll see."

"Paul!" You would have hit him in his side if you haven't been worried about his bruises. Sue just rolled her eyes while she worked on his IV.

Paul squeezed your hand, and for the first time in weeks, you were relieved.

It was a good thing too, you thought as you mindlessly felt for your stomach.

You once heard that stress isn't good for a baby.

[kdvnco]

high school enha boys in love

genre! : fluff

pairings! : heeseung x reader, jay x reader, jake x reader, sunghoon x reader, sunoo x reader, jungwon x reader, niki x reader

warnings! : none

do not ask any questions. do not ask where ive been what ive been doing. or when am i posting again💝

LEE HEESEUNG - nerdy guy

Heeseung and his friend group are the biggest losers in the school. They're the type to play Dungeons and Dragons at school and then get bullied. Heeseung is not affected by it at all, he enjoys going to school even if he's not that good at it. Especially now that he developed a small crush on you. He didn't even try to get you, knowing well he had no chance with you. He just hoped. Until he got a chance.

The teacher set you up to a group project, and fortunately or not for you, but you guys needed to work together. You were a quiet girl at school, mid class, not popular or a loser with a decent friend group. You also had no problem working with Heeseung, you just really didn't care. You never hated or bullied him, he was just kinda there. But after working with it, it turned out beside that he is a nerd, he's quiet fun. Hee tried to keep low with his obsession for nerdy stuff, but it didn't bother you at all once you both grew closer. You got along with his friends too who were too obsessed with the tought of speaking to an actual living woman that they constantly stole you away from Heeseung. He thought he finally had the chance, turned out you just wanted to be friends.

[rest utc!]

PARK JONGSEONG - class clown

You were friends with the class clown, Jay. You were his only friend. Though everybody loved him for being funny, he didn't have any close friends besides you. He was easy to talk to, Jay got along with anybody that was forced to interact with him, until it was a woman. For the life of god he couldn't speak to women. You laughed at him for that. You were a girl and his only friend, but it was never a problem to talk with him. He liked you that's why.

All his attempts to make you laugh were weird attempts to flirt with you. It worked out every and each time, only making him to like you more. He wished you also liked him.

He bought you flowers and gifts for you birthday or for different holidays. Taking care of you when you needed him the most. It turns out he can be serious too.

SIM JAEYUN - fuckboy

He's the biggest fuck boy at the school. Everybody knows him, he's super popular with a huge (but full of fuckboys) friend group. Once he notices somebody, he tries his best to make them fall for him, and like that, he collects every girl he sets his eyes. on. You agree he is handsome, but you can't help but despise him. Even more once you see him starring at you in the hallway. You immediately slap your head, knowing well you are his next opponent. He won't give up easily.

You arrive at school to flowers neatly put on your desk and people whispering at the back of the room. And not only does he buy you multiple gifts each week, he approaches you almost every day, trying to strike up a conversation while you try your best to ignore him. You told him off many times before, he's so determined to get you. Jake is annoyed with you. He doesn't want much other than a sweet night spent together.

Jake gets more and more chances to interact with you, actually getting to know you, getting closer to you... slowly falling for you. It takes him a long time to clear his name before ending up with you.

PARK SUNGHOON - pretty boy

He skates, he's pretty and he's quiet. That is all it takes to become the girls' favorite. Sunghoon's not only popular in your class, but many older and younger girls visit him in the breaks, trying to strike up a conversation with him, but mostly he shyly shakes his head as response to the girls' questions. During physical education, many girls watch him play games, visiting him any time they have a free period. Sunghoon loves and hates the attention. It depends on who's giving it to him.

All he begs for is your attention. He secretly wishes you would also bother him in the break, talk to him and let him make you laugh. Whenever he's talking with a girl, from the corner of his eyes he checks if you're looking at him, but it's never the case.

KIM SUNOO - the favorite

Everybody loves Sunoo. He is the sunshine of the school, having multiple friends from each class, being able to talk to anyone about anything easily making him the most liked person at the school.

He's popular in every category, just not when it comes to love. He never thought he would fall for someone, especially not one of his close friends, so when it did turn out that way he didn't know how to act. It was never hard to be around you or talk to you until now. He started avoiding you, luckily he had many friends, but soon he realised none could replace you, and his feelings weren't fading.

He doesn't know how to flirt, his best attempts at trying to make you fall for him was being especially nice to you, hanging out more often, but when all of those attempts were unsuccessful he opened up about his feelings.

YANG JUNGWON - top student

Jungwon was the quiet, straight A's student. So many people had crushes on him, that he was aware about, he just couldn't care less. One thing he cared about is his rival, you. As soon as you joined the class, you also became top student of the school. He became super wary about you, he just couldn't imagine any other person being on his level. He knew he had to worry about his title as the 'Student of The Year', he began to participate in meanigless competitions, but you were there for every and each one of it.

He tried sitting close to you to make sure you are not cheating in any way, or making any suspicious moves, because for sure he'd snitch on you. But this never happened. Instead you started noticing him and teasing him about it. He was so annoyed with you, trying to be better, but even if he was you aced the next test with ease.

He became so obsessed with your life, almost knowing your whole daily routine, starting to fall for you. He noticed so many things about your behaviour that he adored so much. It made him mad, but it was hard to hide it when you teased him and he blushed. You would catch him starring and just quietly laugh at him. It was too obvious, you knew it.

NISHIMURA RIKI - annoying friend

The loud annoying kid in class somehow ended up as your friend. He forced himself at you long enough, so you let him in accepting his friendship, which turned out to be fun. He was funny, outgoing and weird. Exeptionally weird, making it even more fun to be his friend.

The more he hung out with you the more you liked him, quality time tying you together with him emotionally. He introduced you to his other friends, inviting you to hang outs whenever you were free, and because you started liking him... more than a friend you freed up your time just him. You wanted to know if he felt the same, but nothing changed even when you asked to hang out just the two of you. He acted the same.

The only reason you ended up with him was, because his friend snitched on him. Niki, no way in hell would confess to you, so they helped him. You would have nevet guessed he liked you back.

[alissangle]

Not enough people talk about Audrey.. Yap about her down below 😈

Not a lot about this wonderful woman is known, she’s a very mysterious character in terms of who she is as a person. We all know she’s an adult, but we don’t know just how old she is- we don’t know just how much being an ink person affected her, and we don’t know anything about her childhood- we know nothing about her biology either. She eats, clearly- but how did she not find out she was made out of ink sooner?

As we know, BATDR was set in 1973. Audrey has been alive for a time long before then, as she’s a stable functioning adult with a job as an animator. But what I’ve never seen acknowledged or spoken about, is the implications of her being not only a woman with a job in the year 1973. While it was much more common for women to have jobs compared to before 1960, women were still fighting for their rights, and they still are even today.

You see as an ink person, Audrey clearly doesn’t have the same biology or bodily functions of human women. Externally, Audrey is identical to a human- however internally, things are different. Audrey does not bleed, we know this. But what else could that possibly entail for her? Imagine the turmoil and confusion Audrey went through, possibly being perceived as infertile by doctors she had to have visited. Why do I bring up infertility all of the sudden? Audrey does not bleed, and most likely does not have a uterus, as she again- doesn’t work like a regular human being.

The social impact that had on a woman in the 1970’s was HEAVY. Imagine the undeserved shame, embarrassment, and alienation Audrey felt growing up, and simply living her life. On top of that, did anybody raise her? She clearly did not recognize Joey, so I imagine Joey wasn’t there for her at least not after his creation of her.

Joey Drew died in 1971 I believe, but Audrey has no knowledge of him as a person or even a memory. So what kept him from being in her life?

I don’t hold it below Joey for him to leave Audrey, Joey wasn’t a good person, we all know this. On top of that, no mentions of Joey drew having a daughter were made in the previous game. We know Joey made her, but we don’t know if he actually did anything to raise her.

Yet despite all this, Audrey is a somewhat cheery and silly person when given the chance to be! For example the moment where she caught the fish x)

She’s also clearly a very hard worker- doing things herself without question, for example making that concoction that got her in trouble with Alice!!

Anyways, moving on to the fandoms opinion of Audrey.

A lot of people have told me that Audrey is badly written.

I however must disagree! It’s not that she’s necessarily badly written, we just aren’t given much about her. While this could possibly be called bad writing, I wouldn’t quite say the same.

There is a lot of room for character development with Audrey, and there is a lot already in BATDR. She’s a kind and compassionate person, who seems a little too gullible at times. No discredit to her, she can’t help that- it’s one thing I love about her. Though, her gullible nature and willingness to help is what got her into the ink dimension lol.

Another thing that could possibly point to her gullibility, is her willingness to trust Wilson- and also her reasonably heeding Allison’s warning about the ink demon.

While I’m a little sad Audrey didn’t take a moment to better acknowledge or get to know the ink demon better- (which I’ll explain why she could’ve in another post) I completely understand why she didn’t risk hearing him out or speaking to him, really speaking to him- until later at least.

Anyone would be scared of someone they were warned would pose a lethal danger to them, especially if that someone was seemingly a diety of the horrifying dimension you’re trapped in that is visually and audibly frightening to perceive.

She had made the mistake of trusting someone, and didn’t want to risk her well being again- she’s suddenly thrust into this eat or be eaten place where she is forced to battle inconceivable horrors, even herself.

If you look more into the story, over time as she hears more and more of the ink demon she becomes a little more comfortable responding to him especially after realizing little bendy and him kind of share a body.

You can see this when she, (while in annoyance) speaks back to the ink demon for the first time by telling him to shut up when he’s trying to warn her about Wilson, a small but important detail. She had not only gained more confidence, but was getting to know the ink demon better.

I love Audrey, and I love her character. Anything I forgot to talk about I’ll talk about in my next posts analyzing the ink demon and his character, as well as his relationship/dynamic with Audrey- and how he didnt want to hurt her and wasn’t trying to- a common misconception made reasonably.

May make a TikTok verbalizing this rant, but if you made it this far- thank you!!

Don’t forget my requests r open ;)

[soapymansuds]

Eternity and Counting

(Pt1) This is a running piece I've nearly finished, but the whole thing is way too long to post as one chapter sooooo... This part's pretty short just for the sake of timeline splitting.

Obey me! X Angel!MC (They/Them Pronouns)

TW: Suicide, depression, self-deprecation, death, big feelings, lots of sad, everybody is crying like all the time

MC just can't handle anything anymore and takes their own life. Imagine their dismay to find even death isn't the end for them.

(Takes place in the Frost Flowers event (sorta?), with mild "that chapter where MC finds out they're the Bridge" spoilers. Can't remember which chapter that was.)

~/\~

It's so heavy. This grand weight I've been lugging around since that day. I should have died. I was supposed to die. I would have deserved it too. All I've ever managed to do was cause problems for this family. And maybe I still am. The idea almost stopped me. Visions of their faces. Their tears. Their grief. It did, actually. A few times at least. But not today. It's happened again. Everything was going just fine until that God-forsaken dog decided I would be the object of his affection. Somehow, in spite of the threat it faced to the nation, the brothers refused to just hand me over. Almost losing not just their home, but their kingdom, for my sake. Yet again wasting their time trying to save me. Just like they did when my stupid power nearly killed Lucifer. When Lucifer nearly killed HIMSELF to save me. A bitter, evil part of me is still mad at Michael for stopping me. For saving me.

My arms feel heavy as lead as I lay here, counting away the seconds. I've got nearly an hour before anybody gets home from RAD. Plenty of time to make sure I stay dead. I feel a little bad for lying about being sick to get out of classes today. But maybe I am. Doesn't matter much now anyway. Really, my biggest concern in the current moment is how long it will take Barbatos to notice the ingredients I took. Sure, he's in classes right now too, but he pops in and out of the castle all day long. The likelihood of him stopping into the kitchen and noticing the cracked cabinet door, the scavaged shelves, and finally the open jars is uncomfortably high. In my defense, the chances of that happening while I was there were equally high, so I can't be blamed for the messy crime. But he's only got a few moments more before his discovery will be for naught, so I suppose it's not terribly worrying.

I can feel it, creeping up my spine like a cold massage. The ever-growing numbness. The slow death of my limbs. My lungs. Me. It's growing darker now, unnaturally so, even for The Devildom. I can finally free them of my burden. Free myself of it too. But I would like to offer a final scorn to whatever God allowed me to hear the gentle creaking of the front door.

~/\~

(Mammon's POV)

A chill runs through my spine,like something ominous is lurking behind me, but as I turn around, nobody's there. In spite of that comfort, I can't shake this overwhelming dread coating my nerves and sinking into my bones, urging me to move. Driving me to jog home. The gentle sway of the bag on my arm becoming notably more violent as it begins swinging by my side.

My hands can't work fast enough as I try to unlock the front door. I break into a near sprint as I approach their door, slamming it open.

"MC?" I call, it's dark in their room, but I can just make out the shape of their body resting in their bed. "Oh, you're just sleeping." I mumble, walking up to their bed and setting the bag on the ground next to it.

"Hey, I gotcha some human world medicines." I whisper, pulling a few bottles from the bag. "C'mon, you gotta wake up and take some."

I can't help but roll my eyes at their lack of reaction. "Been spending too much time with Belphie." I reach up to shake their shoulder gently.

Nothing happens. So I try again, fingers gripping just barely tighter. Tight enough to feel the unsettling chill of their skin. It seeps through my fingertips and into my soul. Gripping my heart in white hot fear.

"MC, wake up." I shake them again. "MC." Their name falls from my lips like a plea. "MC please-" I grab their other shoulder. "MC!" Tears spill from my eyes, breath shaky and ragged. "Wake up!"

(Raghhhh, sorry about this)

-Your dear friend, the author

[scary-grace]

Enough to Go By (Chapter 22) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Chapter 22

“How is he?” Spinner pounces on you the second the warp sludge quits pouring from your mouth. “You were gone for two weeks this time. What happened?”

“Stop shaking me.” You have a headache, and you’re in a mood. “I’ll explain in a second. I –”

“Saintess!” Toga hugs you tightly from one side, then recoils. “Ew. You smell like –”

“Formaldehyde,” Re-Destro says. You’re never texting anyone to let them know when you’re coming back again. Next time the doctor can drop you off in a tree for all you care, and you’ll only come down when you feel like it. “You were assisting the doctor with his work?”

You didn’t want to be, but you were. “I was dissecting a quirk factor to try to recreate the bullets we took from Overhaul. The doctor has to keep them preserved somehow.”

Talking about the quirk-canceling bullets always makes Re-Destro uncomfortable. Or maybe it’s the formaldehyde. Either way, he backs off, and you shake Spinner off in the bargain. “I’m going to clean up so the rest of you don’t asphyxiate, and then I’ll give the update.”

“Did anything happen?”

You ignore Spinner and head for the showers. You smell awful and you haven’t slept in three nights and it’s been longer than that since you had a change of clothes. He and everybody else can wait.

Whenever Tomura’s in stasis, the doctor sends you back to the PLF’s headquarters to provide a report, and probably to keep you out of the way. You don’t know what the doctor does when you’re not there, but you know he won’t do anything to Tomura when you’re not present – he likes the effect of your quirk too much, and he doesn’t want to lose access by tormenting Tomura when you’re too far away to avoid the cost. The doctor probably spends the time working on the Nomus. He’s been cagey about how the process works, but you’ve picked up some things, and he’s been hinting that he’ll let you design one once you’ve figured out how to dissect quirk factors on your own. You’re almost there, and almost ready to begin testing the quirk-canceling bullets.

You’ve decided it’s in your best interest not to let anybody know how many there are, or who has them. As far as the doctor knows, the only hero with the ability to directly affect others’ quirks is Eraserhead, and that’s not permanent. Overhaul’s experiments weren’t widely revealed to the public, which means there’s a chance that most heroes don’t know about the bullets. Which means that the person who has the bullets can catch them completely by surprise.

Some part of you likes that idea. Some part of you wants to see how everybody else copes once they’re pulled down to your level. And some part of you has a bad feeling that you’ll need the bullets for more than just heroes. You’ll test them, make sure they work, and make as many as possible, so that instead of just healing Tenko when he’s hurt, you’ll be able to stop him from being hurt in the first place. You’ve never been able to protect him like that before. You’re kind of looking forward to it.

The bathroom door opens, and you speak up without looking. “Whoever that is, get out of here.”

“I’m not looking.” That’s Spinner’s voice, and you’re temporarily stunned into silence. “You need your costume. Dabi’s friend is sniffing around and he’s been asking lots of questions about you. I’m gonna leave it on the floor.”

“And then you’re going to get out.”

“Yeah,” Spinner says, but we need to talk. “We have to –”

“Leave.” You switch off the water, and Spinner books it. He might come into the bathroom while you’re showering, but the idea of sneaking a look at his best friend’s naked girlfriend is apparently out of his comfort zone. As soon as he’s gone, you switch the water back on.

It was – well, not easy to forgive Compress and Twice for voting that Tomura should go through with it, but it’s not like you expected better. You didn’t expect better from Dabi, either, although you haven’t ruled out shooting him with a quirk-canceling bullet if he threatens to kill you again. But you expected a hell of a lot better from Spinner, and you haven’t forgiven him for sending Tomura off to the torture chamber. You’re not planning on forgiving him, either. They might call you Saintess, but you aren’t one, and the sooner the rest of them get used to that, the better.

Spinner brought you your costume, but unsurprisingly neglected to bring things like underwear and socks, so you exit the bathroom in a towel, to the tune of Spinner bolting for cover. You lose patience. “I told you to leave.”

“You’re avoiding me, and we need to talk.” Spinner’s crouched behind Tomura’s bed, the one you theoretically sleep in when you’re here, well-hidden from whatever glimpses of you he might get. “Our win condition is still the same.”

“No, it isn’t. I care about what happens to him between now and then, and you don’t,” you snap. “You’re fine with him being the doctor’s new favorite test subject to get power he doesn’t need –”

“He does if he wants to win! It has to be decisive and it has to be fast,” Spinner says. “That’s not me talking. Or him. That’s something you said. He told me.”

You remember that conversation, but you didn’t expect it to stick with Tomura. You definitely didn’t expect him to repeat it to Spinner. “We may have signed off on it,” Spinner continues, “but he’s working off ideas he got from you. Every idea of his that isn’t “destroy everything forever” is backed up by some conversation he’s had with you. Nobody else has that kind of pull with him. Except All For One.”

You don’t know what to say to that. You’ve always assumed that whatever influence you might have over Tomura is dwarfed by the fifteen years of influence from All For One. Then again, the world had fifteen years to try to rip your allegiance to Tenko away from you, and it didn’t stick – and there are more than a few pieces of who Tenko is that made it through. From his hiding spot behind the bed, Spinner takes a deep breath, then lets it go. “I want to know how you did it.”

“What?”

“The others think you did it just by being a girl and – you know.” Spinner sounds like he’s cringing. “But that’s not it. Toga knows something. She wouldn’t say when I asked, but there’s something, so I want to know what it is. I want to know why he listens to you the same way he listens to All For One.”

“You don’t sound like you want to know.” The way his voice sounds, it’s like he’s asking someone to peel off his scales one at a time. “Leave it alone.”

“The medics from the helicopter said you called him something else,” Spinner says, and you freeze in the act of wringing out your hair. “You called him the same thing All For One did when he was unloading on All Might. How long have you known him?”

What did you say the first time Spinner asked you that? “Less than forever, longer than a year.”

“Don’t bullshit me.” Spinner peeks up and over the edge of the bed, confirms you’re dressed, and stands up. “How long?”

You don’t have a good way to answer this. You don’t want to explain. You unclasp your locket from around your neck – you never take it off, not even to shower – and toss it to him, looking away as he pries it open. Unlike Toga and Manami, Spinner knows who he’s looking at instantly. “No,” he says at once. “That’s not – what?”

Toga was fascinated, Manami was shocked. Spinner sounds horrified. You want to say more, maybe to twist the knife and make him pay for asking, but you remember all at once that Skeptic has cameras and listening devices everywhere. Tomura ordered them taken out of his rooms, and you and Compress scanned everything a second time to make sure, but you wouldn’t put it past Skeptic to have reinstalled them. “Come on. If we’re talking about this, we’re talking outside.”

It's cold outside. Your hair is wet and you’re shivering, and Spinner’s shivering even worse than you are. As if you needed any more incentive to keep this conversation short. “What do you want to know?”

“How?” Spinner says at once. He’s still holding the locket, but he’s holding it with the same trepidation as you’d hold a live eel. “How did he go from that to – this?”

He’s gesturing around, encompassing everything – the MLA compound in the mountains, himself, you and your costume, asking how the kid in the picture turned into Shigaraki Tomura, Symbol of Fear, Grand Commander of the Paranormal Liberation Front and heir to All For One. “His quirk awakened,” you say. Spinner gives you a weird look. “Think about it.”

“I am thinking about it. Why would that –” Spinner breaks off suddenly. “Shit. That would – that could be bad. Really bad.”

“All For One took him away after that. I didn’t see him again for fifteen years.”

“So you knew him before.”

“He was my best friend,” you say, but he was more than that, even when you were children. You’d have done anything for him, just like you’d do anything now. “When I found him again, he was like this. He didn’t recognize me at first. I don’t think All For One wanted him to remember that he was anybody before this.”

“Well, yeah,” Spinner says, like it’s obvious. Maybe it is to him. “Wait, why’d he let you stick around, then? If you knew Shigaraki before –”

“We hid it,” you say. “From Kurogiri. From everyone.”

“Except Toga?”

Spinner actually sounds hurt. “She found out by accident,” you say. “The doctor guessed when he looked into my family, and my quirk. My friends from before know, and my cousin. And now you.”

Seven people. Seven people other than you know that Shimura Tenko existed, that some part of him still exists, part and parcel of Shigaraki Tomura. You might be the only one who knew him personally, but it’s a relief to know that if something happens to you, your death won’t be the end of your best friend.

That still doesn’t mean you forgive Spinner. “What else do you want to know?”

“Like – why?” Spinner realizes that you’re staring at him and elaborates. “You guys are my age, right? Twenty?”

“I’ll be twenty-one soon.”

“But you were twenty when you met him again,” Spinner says. You nod. “And you hadn’t seen him for fifteen years. And – sorry, but you aren’t like the rest of us. You don’t have a scary quirk like Toga does and you weren’t a shut-in like me. You had friends and a real job and your own apartment, and ordering pizza for all of us didn’t max your credit card. Why would you chuck all that for somebody you knew when you were five?”

The scathing sound exits your mouth before you can stop it. “Why would you throw any chance of a normal life away because you saw a video about Stain?”

“Hey,” Spinner snaps. “That was different. I was grown up –”

“So was I,” you say. “And I actually knew the person I was throwing it away for.”

“You don’t understand what it meant,” Spinner says. He’s glaring at you. You glare right back, even though he can’t see your expression under your veil. “It all made sense when I learned about Stain. Everything that had happened to me – you were just a kid. What did you know?”

“I knew I mattered.” You never talk about your family with the League of Villains. Why would you, when everyone else has a backstory more tragic than yours, when the only person who needs to know already knows everything? “At home – my first memory is my mom telling me to watch my brother. Then my brother and my sister. Then my brother and my sister and the twins. All that mattered about me was what I could do for them, and I was four. The only person who ever saw just me was him.”

The last day you and Tenko had together is crystal clear in your head. The first day is fuzzy, blurred by time. You were at school, you think. A pre-primary school program your pediatrician recommended, probably so you could go somewhere and be a kid for a few hours a day. Your pediatrician had your parents’ number for sure. No, it wasn’t at school. You were on the way to school – no, you were trying to get out the door, and you made it all the way to the sidewalk before you realized that your mom wasn’t with you.

You remember looking back at her, puzzled. “Mama?”

“We’re going to be late. I have to load up the stroller and the wagon –” Your mother said that, but she wasn’t doing it. A pit of dread yawned open in your stomach. “This neighborhood is safe. It’s not very far. You remember where we went to register?”

“No!” You tried not to panic. You could see her thinking about it, making the decision. “I don’t know where it is. Mama –”

“You’re a big girl. I know you can take care of this,” your mother said. She was smiling, but it was more relieved than proud. Relieved she wouldn’t have to deal with you. Relieved she could focus on something more important. “Hurry. You’ll be late.”

For the first time you can remember, you refused. “I can’t go alone,” you said, and your eyes welled up even as your mother rolled hers. “I don’t know where it is. I don’t want to get lost. Please – can’t you just leave them –”

“Leave my babies? Are you out of your mind?”

Weren’t you her baby too? “It wouldn’t be long. You said it wasn’t that far, so can’t you just –”

You couldn’t talk after that. You were crying too hard, and your mother rolled her eyes again, told you to stop acting like a baby when you were almost five, and you wanted to tell her that you’d only just had your birthday and you weren’t almost anything at all. She shut the door, and you sat down on the sidewalk, sobbing into your hands. You didn’t know where you were supposed to go and she wouldn’t let you back in. She always came running when the twins cried, so why wouldn’t she come for you? You knew how silly you looked, but you couldn’t stop crying. You couldn’t go to school like this. No matter what you thought to do, it was always wrong.

“Are you okay?”

You looked up at the sound of the voice, blinking back tears, and found a dark-haired boy your age staring down at you. He looked sort of familiar, and as you snuffled and tried to wipe your nose, you realized that he lived across the street. You’d seen him before, with his mom and his sister and his dog, but you’d never met. He was looking down at you, eyes wide. “Are you okay?” he asked again. “What’s wrong?”

You didn’t know how to answer, and a moment later, you heard running footsteps. You hoped it was your mom, but it wasn’t. “Tenko!” the woman called out, panicked. “Tenko, don’t scare me like that again. How many times have I told you –”

“She’s sad.” Tenko pointed at you. “We have to help.”

“Um, all right.” The woman studied you, puzzled, while Tenko crouched down at your side. “Did you fall down?”

You shook your head. “Is that your house?” Tenko’s mom asked, pointing at your front door, and you nodded. “All right. Tenko, stay here. I’m going to –”

The front door opened before the woman could knock, and you heard your mother’s voice, already frustrated – but Tenko was right in front of you now, taking up all your vision. “What’s your name?” he asked, and you managed to mumble it. “I’m Tenko. I live over there. You have a backpack. Are you going to school?”

You nodded. “I have one. I’m going, too,” Tenko said proudly. “My sister said school is fun. Why are you sad?”

You didn’t answer, but your mom did it for you, in response to Tenko’s mom asking the same question. “She’s throwing a fit because she doesn’t want to walk to school alone.”

“She’s four,” Tenko’s mom said, shocked, and somehow that made you feel better. She was right, and that meant you were right. You were right, and your mom was wrong. “I’ve seen you with your children. You have a lot on your mind, and my son and I are headed there already. If you’d like, she can walk with us.”

Looking back, you can see where you started to learn to de-escalate tense moments – Tenko’s mom, backing down her initial reaction, showing that she understood your mom’s position, offering to help in a way that wouldn’t make your mom madder than she already was. It worked. “If you’re headed there already,” your mom said doubtfully. Then one of the twins wailed from inside the house, and she made up her mind. “Thank you. I apologize for her. She’s not usually so dramatic.”

“It’s no trouble,” Tenko’s mom said smoothly. She turned to go, and Tenko held out his hand to help you to your feet. You took it, and even once you were standing, he didn’t let go. His hand was warm and sort of sweaty. “Tenko, help your friend up – oh, you did that already.”

Friend. You were Tenko’s friend? “We can walk now,” Tenko told his mom. She took his other hand, and the three of you crossed the street together, then turned the corner. When Tenko spoke up again, he was talking to you. “You can walk with us every morning if you want.”

“I don’t have to,” you mumbled. “My mom is right. I should do it myself.”

“No,” Tenko’s mom said firmly. She was smiling, but her eyes were hard. “Four is a little young. You’ll walk with us.”

“I want you to,” Tenko said. He swung your clasped hands back and forth between the two of you, practically skipping. “Hana said I’d make friends and you’re my first one!”

Being Tenko’s friend sounded like the best thing in the world to you. “You’re my first friend, too.”

You were his first friend, and he was yours. He and his mom were waiting for you on the sidewalk the next morning, all ready to walk with you to school.

You never understood why he did that, why he pulled away from his mom and ran across the street to help a crying girl he’d never met. You just accepted that it was part of who he was, just one more reason why he’d be the best hero the world had ever seen – and you still see that in him, in the way he avenged Magne and comforted Twice and took out the CRC for Spinner and promised Toga he wouldn’t destroy the things she likes and stole Re-Destro’s money so the League can have all the expensive food they want. You see it in the new world he’s promised to all of you, in his promise to live in it with you.

You know who Tenko is. You’ve always known, and it’s that knowledge that keeps your head up, holding Spinner’s gaze. “I don’t you or anyone else to understand why I’m with him. But I’m loyal to him. Not All For One’s visions or his plans or what anyone else wants for him. Just him. Do you understand?”

“I get it,” Spinner says. “You’re against whatever could hurt him even if it’s part of the plan.”

“Yes,” you say. “And you’ll let him get hurt if it means the plan succeeds.”

“I don’t want –” Spinner breaks off, frustrated. “Look, I know something fucked-up is going on over there. You look like hell every time you come back, and you wouldn’t be so mad at me still if it wasn’t as bad or worse than you said it was going to be. But if it’s your job to be loyal to him, it’s my job to be loyal to his vision and make his dream a reality. And neither of us want him to die.”

It sort of makes sense when he puts it like that. Or maybe you just haven’t slept in a while. “So?”

“So we shouldn’t fight,” Spinner says. He holds the locket out to you, and you take it back, fastening it around your neck and tucking it out of sight. “We should work together.”

Before you can say anything else, like asking Spinner just what he thinks the two of you should work together on, a voice rings out from somewhere behind you. “Hey, what are you two doing out here? It’s freezing!”

Spinner doesn’t jump, but your startle response never bounced back, and your heart rate spikes so fast you almost faint. “Nice to see you, Spinner,” Hawks says, stepping out of the light cast by the windows of the villa and into the shadows where you and Spinner stand. “And you – you must be the Saintess I’ve heard so much about.”

Dabi’s friend. It must be. The Number Two hero is smiling at you, hand outstretched to shake, and you shake in response, wondering how the hell Dabi could have gotten snowed so badly. Kazuo warned you about a spy in the PLF. You’re pretty sure you’re looking at him.

“You’re a hard girl to track down,” Hawks continues, once you’ve both let go. “Seems like everybody knows you, but nobody knows where you are. The Grand Commander must keep you really busy.”

“We’re all busy,” Spinner says. “Shigaraki’s vision won’t come true on its own.”

Spinner doesn’t trust him, either. You can tell by his tone of voice. Hawks laughs, bright and easy. “Of course not! But let’s be honest here – you two work at it way harder than the rest of the League, don’t you? To hear Re-Destro tell it, you two are the true believers. I could learn a lot from you.”

Sure he could. So he could hand it all to the heroes and fuck the two of you over. How the hell did Dabi fall for this? “Based on your last report, you’re doing pretty well on your own,” Spinner says. “All those books on Liberation ideology aren’t selling themselves.”

“I mean, they could,” Hawks says. “You’ve read them. You know. The only people who’d protest the ideology are the quirkless, and they’re a dying breed anyway.”

Is he trying to trick you into outing yourself? It wouldn’t be the worst move – if you overreact to a slight against the quirkless, it’ll drastically narrow the range of possibilities for your true identity. You shrug. “There aren’t many ideologies that can appeal to eighty-plus percent of the population. Maybe you’re right – the books don’t need you passing them around.”

Hawks laughs at that. “I’ll have to find some other way to be useful, then. I’ve got all kinds of insider info from the HPSC. They don’t suspect a thing.”

Of course they don’t – he’s spying for them. Someone calls for Hawks from inside and he grins. “Gotta blast. Good to finally meet you, Saintess. We’ll have to chat later.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Once he’s gone, you turn to Spinner. “Okay, so he’s –”

“Shh.” Spinner shakes his head. “Feather check.”

Hawks’s feathers? You scan Spinner, looking for any flecks of red, while he does the same to you. You’re both clear, but Spinner doesn’t look relieved. “He could have left other ones,” he says. “Let’s go.”

You follow him further out from the villa, teeth chattering. Spinner’s teeth are chattering, too, and the two of you stand close together, trying to conserve heat. You speak up first. “So Hawks is the spy, right?”

“You think so, too. I knew it wasn’t just me.” Spinner looks relieved. “It’s him for sure.”

“Is Dabi insane? Does he really think the Number Two hero would just –”

“I don’t know how much thinking he’s doing,” Spinner says. He grimaces. “There’s something weird going on with them. I went to wake Dabi up one time when he slept through a strategy meeting, and Hawks was in there, too.”

“Oh.” You need a second to process that. “I thought we were supposed to be making the heroes unfuckable, not fucking them ourselves.”

Spinner snorts, but he sobers up fast. “Nobody else is suspicious. Re-Destro loves that he’s here – the Number Two hero is on our team. Twice gets along with him. Compress and Toga are Compress and Toga. And Dabi –”

“Don’t say it. I don’t want to picture it.”

“I don’t know for sure that they’re – that. All I know is, they’re too close for how suspicious Hawks is.” Spinner looks worried. “He already knows way too much. How many of us there are. Where the other major cells are. Who the lieutenants are. Stuff everybody in the PLF knows, but that’s too much. The heroes could fuck us up on that alone.”

They could. Kazuo couldn’t ask questions that broad without giving himself a seizure, but Hawks can gather the details in-person. And if you and Spinner are the only ones who suspect him – “Is there anything he doesn’t know?”

“Yeah. Feather check.” Spinner turns in a slow circle so you can check him, and you do the same a moment later. “Your costume’s great for this. It would be easy to spot one.”

“It’s about the only thing my costume is good for.” You’ve had more than one thought about how terrible it would be to get your period unexpectedly in this outfit. “What doesn’t he know?”

“He doesn’t know where Shigaraki is. He knows Shigaraki is getting new quirks, but he doesn’t know which ones,” Spinner says. You breathe a sigh of relief. “He doesn’t know when the war’s going to start, but that’s because we don’t yet. He doesn’t know that Toga’s quirk leveled up. And he doesn’t know about you.”

“What do you mean, about me?”

“You run around in white like a ghost. Most of the PLF has never seen your face. They know you have a quirk, but next to nobody knows what it is,” Spinner says. “The one decent thing Re-Destro’s done is lock that info down. They don’t know your real name like they know some of ours. Your code name is really weird for a villain –”

“You gave it to me!”

“And you’re closer to Shigaraki than anybody else,” Spinner continues. “You’re important. No shit he wants to know about you, and he can’t find out. If he knows you’re propping up Shigaraki’s healing factor, he’ll take you down.”

“Heroes don’t kill people.”

“Heroes don’t spy, either,” Spinner points out. “This guy is bad news. I’ve been laying false trails so he doesn’t find out where Shigaraki is. You can help with that. If you act like you’re coming from different places every time, it’ll confuse him. And the formaldehyde thing has to stop. All the hospital smells have to.”

You know there are locker rooms at the hospital for the residents. You can shower off before you leave. “And you have to make sure there aren’t any feathers on you, anywhere. Every time,” Spinner says. “Or he’ll find out where Shigaraki is, and then –”

“I know.” You haven’t felt anything but anxious in months, but your stomach is clenched in a tighter knot than usual. “Does he know about the bullets?”

“The deleter rounds? I don’t think so.”

“Let’s keep it that way.” You’ve never thought about what would happen to a heteromorph if you hit them with something that targets their quirk factor. Hawks would be the perfect person to try it on.

It’s quiet for a second. “Sorry about the code name,” Spinner says. “It was just for us. I didn’t know it was gonna stick.”

“It’s fine,” you say. “Based on some of the code names in the PLF, it could have been a lot worse.”

Spinner nods, and it’s quiet for another few moments. “We’ve got work to do together. Truce?”

“Yeah. Truce.” You don’t have to forgive Spinner, but the two of you are still allies, still in agreement on the most important thing: The new world Tomura will make possible won’t matter if Tomura isn’t in it. “It’s freezing out here. Let’s get back inside.”

The two of you set off. It’s starting to snow, fat flakes falling lazily from the sky. “How is he?” Spinner asks you. “Shigaraki, I mean.”

“We’re about halfway through. The doctor’s happy with how it’s going.”

“What about you?”

Your mind echoes with the alarms that clang as Tomura’s heart rate plummets, with the sounds of his screams, or worse, the sound of him begging for it to stop. Worse than all of that is the silence, when he’s lost consciousness or fallen into a seizure or his vocal cords have ruptured completely. “I’ll be happy when it’s over.”

<- Chapter 21

[i-spit-on-your-garage]

Temporary Strangers

NOTE: Lmao I thought I would spend a couple days writing and refining this, ended up cranking it out in a couple hours. I believe this is my first request so thanks to the Anon who suggested it, thank you and I hope this is worthy. I rarely write but I didn't see any reason to not try, kinda felt like I cooked with this considering my low story count, but y'all will be the judge of that.

NOTE 2: Double LMAO I wrote this under the wrong Bob(Thinking of Reynolds not Floyd) Anon IM SORRY, I will start work on another for our boy Floyd once i get some sleep(you can tell I need it😭). Please forgive me >-<

Bob Reynolds x reader

TW: some angst, vague mention of an injury, SFW

Please Enjoy <3

The injury shouldn't have happened. Bob tried to be aware and cautious; he had a new team family to lookout for after all. He became even more alert at every stage of the relationship, ever since y'all (pardon my Texan) had a small ceremony not too long ago it grew tenfold. But accidents still happen, and after taking a nasty hit to the head, resulting in a concussion, Bob is stuck staying in the Infirmary instead of your marital bed, not that he can say he misses it. How can he miss something he doesn't even remember?

Outside of his room, the nurse on duty informs you that his overall physical health was well, but he was concussed, specifying that he is leaning towards the docile and loving side rather than the violence and aggression some people suffer from. Amazed at the fact that this God like man could actually sustain such an injury, you count your lucky stars hearing that, after everything he went through with Void, you can't imagine how those unpredictable behaviors would affect him, how he would feel after getting better and realizing how he acted against others while recovering. He would still be your sweet Bob.

That is when you hear that another one of Bob's symptoms is post-traumatic amnesia, your heart sunk at that. Amnesia is a scary idea already, but the support Bob got from you and the team was crucial for so many reasons. Before your mind runs off too far, your attention is called back to the nurse when she mentions that things like this can last a couple days, maybe a couple weeks, stating that she isn't too worried about Bob seeing as he did remember one person right now, Yelena.

You let out a small breath nodding at that, part of you feeling like you should be a bit hurt, but you shove that idea aside, Yelena had been the first person to show him support and care after years of mistreatment and struggle, and when you couldn't be there for Bob, she was. You also tell yourself there's a chance he'll recognize you, just because he hasn't asked about his wife doesn't mean you'll be a stranger to him. The nurse finishes her recount and opens the door to let you into the room. Times slows and your stomach buzzes with nerves, you absentmindedly start picking at your nails, a habit Bob had been helping you drop. You step quietly into the room, and he sits up in bed turning to face you as you sit, though he slows as his eyes lock onto you. You're hopeful for a moment, he looks surprised to see you maybe he does recognize you. He's giving you the same wide eyed enamored look you often found yourself on the receiving end of before you were even a couple, mouth slightly dropped like he had lost his words, eyes bright and focused on you. You smile as he breathes out a soft "Hi" still staring like a deer in headlights. You respond in kind, and you swear you see his ears perk up in the slightest at your voice "I know you", his words sound like both a question and a statement. It's clear you aren't a nurse, and they don't just let anybody in here, but you can see behind his not-so-subtle adoring gaze, his gears are turning, trying to place you in his mind. While you do feel a slight pang in your heart you remind yourself it is only temporary, and that your husband needs your love and support, especially now. "You do." you nod, still picking at your nails, you feel nervous to touch him despite how he's looking at you, you don't want to risk upsetting him on accident. "Do you work with Yelena?" he asks. "Not in the field like you, I work deskside, but yes, I'm often your guiding voice on missions," you say motioning to your ear with a finger that has been taking the brunt of the damage from your compulsive picking. His eyes follow your hand, his brow furrows just a bit as he notices the irritation on your finger, but he feels it's not his place to comment on it, so he asks his next question to voice a bit quieter "what are we?" he doesn't quite know why but asking you that question makes him a bit nervous. Like Yelena, from the moment you entered to visit, he felt a comfort from your presence, but there was something extra with you, butterflies had been multiplying in his stomach as you two spoke. Without realizing it, he's slowly leaning forward towards you like there's a gravitational pull he can't escape.

You pause your nervous habit, to look at the ring on your finger, it's a simple ring, you didn't want anything gaudy or crazy, you rub your thumb over the cool metal before lifting your hand to show him, a shy smile on your face as that special day replays in your head. For once Bob is not staring at you, his gaze shifting to your hand, to the ring. His brows furrow deeper this time, and his stomach drops as he realizes it's a wedding ring. You're taken, he says to himself, not quite putting the pieces together yet, forgetting what he had even asked you. You take in his reaction and look down to his hands, seeing that his wedding ring wasn't on his hand, they must've removed it when they did his scans. You look around, they must've put what items he had somewhere nearby. Your eyes land on a small nightstand on the opposing side of the bed "Bob" you say softly, he looks up, and oh my goodness, you think to yourself, he looks like a puppy who's been sent outside, pouting at the door for his owner's affection. You nod softly towards the drawers to his side, "check it". His gaze shoots over to the stand, hand quicky following and he opens it. It looks pretty empty to you, but he reaches in and comes back out holding a small object wrapped in a tiny scrap of cloth. He unfolds it gently as you look on, nervous. Now unfolded, you both stare at the matching dark silver band that looks so small in his hand, he looks really confused now, struggling to keep track of the conversation, giving him the best hint you can without blurting it out, you reach you hand out gently setting it on his palm beside where the his ring is sitting. His eyes flitter back and forth, and you realize in his focus his breathing has slowed to a stop. He slowly looks up to you, the wide-eyed enamored look back on his face and cranked up to 100. "Are we…" he trails off, as you slide your hand from his. You nod, "We are", you can't help but smile even though your resumed picking at your nails betrays any nerves you still feel. Bob quickly sets aside the scrap of cloth and slips the ring on, a small laugh of relief, or maybe its excitement escapes him, realizing that while yes you are taken, it's him who has you. And though right now he might not remember what the two of you have shared, you are both wearing proof that what you have is real and eternal. He glances over to you, feeling a bit giddy if he's being honest, and sees you abusing your nail beds. He reaches out a hand slowly, gently covering both of yours with his, giving them a gentle squeeze. You smile up at him eyes tearing up a bit and nerves dissipating completely at his soft gaze and gentle touch. It's not that he remembers in the moment how he always helped you with the habit, but that his instinct is to protect you even in the smallest ways, even when you're a temporary stranger to him.

Jesus Christ cut to the next couple of weeks as the two of you spend all your time together and he throws out the memories to as they slowly come back, checking their accuracy a la Real or Not Real like Peeta after the Capitol messed with his memories.

[tomnylover]

hey guys!!! i posted a bit of my fic “Ill be watching you” yesterday and i just thought id post the next bit

hope you enjoy!!

As the years went on, James started to stray from his unholy thoughts about the younger boy, and began focusing on a red haired girl, Lily Evans.

Lily was everything regulus wasnt, a wonderful girl with a heart of gold. She was smart, everything anyone had ever expected from their starboy. So James ran with it; but the problem was that lily didnt want him.

“Lily will you be my valentine?”

“Potter how many times do i have to say no for you to understand my boundaries and leave me alone?”

“You know how long ive wanted you, wont you just please give me a chance?”

“No potter. You are incredibly selfish and i do not want to have to subject myself to your ego. Thats my final decision, please respect it”

James scoffed as he turned away from the angry girl- ‘he wasnt really into her anyway’ he told himself, but as the nights grew lonelier and his heart grew colder, Regulus was starting to be ithe subject of James’ eyeline again.

He was always there, and James tried to talk to him, but Sirius had been clear on the marauders rules.

“Rule 26: Under no circumstances will you communicate with a member from my ex family”

All the marauders agreed to sirius’ list of ridiculous rules - his “boy code” as muggles would say. Really, none of the gryffindors had any reason to speak to the blacks- the blacks wouldnt deem them worthy of a simple conversation.

As James left the great hall, he wandered around the castle, searching for a tranquil nook to sit in, and so he subconsciously ended up on his way to the astronomy tower.

He clicked open the door and felt the light breeze on his face feeling grateful for the castles many quirks.He knew about the room of requirement too, but only because they had used it to conceal their Animagi potions, but ever since, James hadn’t been able to conjure up the need for it. Not yet at least.

A figure sitting dangerously on the ledge caught his eye in an instant; was that really Regulus Black? It was fate really, James thought to himself. Everything brought him back to the slytherin, however hard he tried to get rid of his unfaithful thoughts, he just couldnt. Regulus wasn’t convenient to James, but he loved him either way. Well he thought it was love, he hadn’t had much experience with romance, he was always too busy for anybody.

James didnt know if it was love- to him, the younger Black was perfect in all aspects: smart, funny? cunning, and beautiful.

It was impossible not to like him, Regulus was perfect. Everything about him, from his neatly styled hair or his cold eyes that never warmed up. The way he walked and talked and laughed with his friends. Oh how James desperately wanted to be the one to make him laugh, to make him cry tears of joy.

“Sirius. Just think of Sirius”, James mumbled to himself, yet his affirmations had no affect on his unknown feelings for the boy. Sirius was always James’ but his heart was so big, why couldn’t he just have both Blacks?

Suddenly, Regulus turned around and registered that James was there as well, invading his space and making him slightly uncomfortable. Their eyes locked and James was finally able to see his pearly eyes in the moonlight, they shone bright and glistened with James’ reflection.

“Your beautiful in this light” James took the risk, and hopefully he would be rewarded for it this time.

Regulus’ heart skipped a beat, no way in all heavens and hells that James Potter just called him beautiful? But thats what he did isn’t it, passed out compliments as if it were the simplest action in the world.

“Is that what you tell Evans? Ironic isnt it Potter”

“No- I just wanted to tell you what i thought” He knew he had messed it up. He spoke too soon and ruined whatever they could’ve had before it even started.

“Well if thats the case then i appreciate it. You also have-“ he paused to think. James’ everything was beautiful, out of this world, but he would never admit that out loud. “-Nice hair” Regulus grimaced, as if it physically pained him to say.

“Thanks. Anyway what are you doing up here so late? I thought the younger years had curfew at 10?”

“Just stargazing, look you can see Regulus tonight, its the brightest star this time of year” He spoke with enthusiasm, as if the stars were his world, and as if the sun stole their spotlight far too often, yet James was the sun.

James was so bright and lovely, the sun shone though the gaps in his teeth and the pupils of his eyes. He was the sun incarnate, yet he still let Regulus shine in the dark.

And thats what he would do- let his crush on Regulus shine in the dark, but he would hide it during the day. He didn’t have to, he knew all his friends were accepting, particularly of Sirius and Remus’ pending relationship.

“Thats wonderful” James whispered in awe as he knelt beside the Slytherin. He took a shaky breath in, and his nose filled with Regulus’ scent; Mint and parchment paper. A faint smell of smoke, smoke that felt like home. So thats what James smelt in his amortentia earlier in the week.

hope u had as much fun reading as i did writing- love u all -tomny armstrongs biggest fan xoxo

if u guys have any plot ideas lmk!!!!

[goayda]

‘I have…. love for you, Edward.’

That's a scene that lives rent free in my brain and this is a Stizzy story I wrote while thinking about it. This is an AU set some time after 2x07, Ed is happy being a fisherman or whatever somewhere, there was no Prince Ricky attack and Stede and Izzy are already a couple.

The Strength of Damaged Walls

Unsurprisingly, Stede had been the first one to say ‘I love you’ and it had been a shock to Izzy to hear those words directed at him by someone that looked like he truly meant them.

Izzy had stared at him in awe, but hadn’t said a word, and Stede, that soft, understanding man, had simply brushed away the tears that had quietly started rolling down Izzy’s cheeks as he smiled kindly at him.

Since that day, Stede had repeated those words a few more times, but he had never pushed Izzy to say them back, had never made an unkind remark about his silence on the matter and the thing was, Izzy had wanted to say them back for a while, but every time he opened his mouth to do it a memory sharp as a knife would stop the words from leaving his mouth.

‘I have…. love for you, Edward.’

He remembered very clearly how painful it had been to finally utter those words and how much pain had come after that. How could he forget it when he got a missing limb as a permanent reminder?

In Izzy’s world love had always meant pain. It was a vulnerability that would get you hurt one way or another and had to be avoided, or hidden at least, and even though he knew his life was completely different now, still every time he tried to say those words out loud his chest constricted, taking the air from his lungs and making it impossible for him to speak.

Even the simplest public displays of affection had always made him uncomfortable and Izzy still avoided them in front of the crew, but he looked around him and could see that he was surrounded by people who cared and loved openly and shocking as it was, he found himself wishing he could do the same. He just feared he was too old or too damaged to do it.

Then came the day when Frenchie and Oluwande were captured by the British and Stede came up with one of his insane plans to rescue them. The plan involved sneaking in and out of the British post on the coast quietly and quickly and therefore there was no room for Izzy and his wooden leg in the rescue party so he had to stay on the ship and wait for the signal to pick them up and sail away.

As the crew got ready to leave the ship, Stede and Izzy stood aside for a moment and the captain discreetly took his hand as he promised Izzy they would be coming back very soon with his missing crewmates.

Izzy had agreed to stay behind because that was the sensible thing to do, but so many things could go wrong and he wouldn’t be there to help and Stede could die and Izzy wouldn’t even be by his side to say goodbye and that meant those could be their last moments together. Izzy realized that might be his last chance to tell Stede he loved him so he squeezed his hand and opened his mouth to do it before it was too late.

“Stede, I-I…”

Izzy tried, he really tried, but once again he felt as if he was suffocating as the heavy weight on his chest crushed him.

“I know, darling, I know,” Stede whispered softly, squeezing his hand back. “I love you too.”

That smart, ridiculous man, Izzy thought as he let go of his hand and watched him leave with the others.

It was a long and tense wait, which Izzy spent checking every knot and every sail on the ship just to keep his mind busy, but eventually they saw the signal and sailed to reach the boat that was leaving the port in a hurry as some explosions shook the British post, setting it on fire.

The Revenge fired the cannons as they got closer to the coast, as a warning to anybody who tried to follow them and also because Wee John begged for it, and while the British were still struggling to run away from the flaming ruins, the rescue party reached the Revenge and were greeted with the cheers of their crewmates.

“Not a very subtle escape plan, Captain,” Izzy said when Stede walked towards him as they sailed away.

“But it worked, didn’t it?” Stede replied, smiling broadly.

The man was sweaty, his blonde hair disheveled and his clothes dirty and wrinkled and Izzy had never loved him more. Before he knew what he was doing, Izzy was dragging Stede down by the front of his shirt to kiss him senseless.

It took Izzy a while to realize what he had done, still too focused on Stede’s lips on his, on the feeling of relief now that he was back safe and sound, but it eventually sank in. He was kissing Stede right there on deck where everybody could see and Stede was kissing him back as if they had all the time in the world and no other place to be.

He was kissing Stede in front of the crew and the sky hadn’t suddenly darkened, the ship hadn’t sunk, the crew hadn’t laughed at him. In fact, when Izzy finally pulled back and dared to look around he saw the rest of the crew wasn’t paying them much attention. They were kissing their partners, hugging their friends and smiling broadly because their plan had succeeded and they were all safe and free to live another day.

Some of them were smiling at him, Roach even patted him on the back on his way to the galley, but nobody made a big deal about it. There was no mocking, no weird reactions or signs of disrespect. They went on as usual, which for a crazy crew as theirs meant organizing a big party to celebrate the successful rescue.

Izzy had to put his foot down, though, and delay the party until they were far away from there and he got a few pouts and many complaints because of that, but they still listened to him. Then, when the party finally happened, he joined the crew for some drinks, sang a song about freedom and the sea and kissed Stede under the moonlight right there by the helm.

Life went on.

A few weeks later, while Stede and Izzy were having breakfast in the captain’s cabin, both still a bit tired after a night of little sleep, Stede turned to offer Izzy a plate with some pastries.

“They’re your favorites, Izzy. Do you want some more?”

The bleary-eyed man was smiling at him, clumsily holding the pastries as the sleeve of his robe fell inside his tea, soaking slowly.

“I love you,” Izzy said, the words escaping his lips effortlessly.

There was no crushing weight on his chest, no feeling of dread trying to choke him. Stede beamed at him and Izzy simply took a pastry from the plate and smiled back at him.

 “I love you too, darling,” Stede said and he leaned down to place a soft kiss on Izzy’s lips.

They pulled apart and went back to their breakfast and Izzy took a bite of the pastry. They were delicious, his favorites for sure. Stede really knew him well, but that part wasn’t a surprise at all.

[kwills91]

Make Me Write

Last week did not go to plan because, of course, and I feel even further behind so I'm back begging for motivation. As usual, pick one or more of the emojis below that is assigned to one of my WIPs and for each emoji I will write 3 sentences and send them out. There are a couple more WIPs on the list now (I don't know what's wrong with me) including some one shots this time, and, like I normally do, I will separate them into their different fandoms.

Note: I will also be capping the posts at 1000 words (I don't mind multiple asks from the same people though, if you want more than that)

Jayvik

🎮 - Modern/College/You've Got Mail AU - Jayce and Viktor are both postgrad students who view each other as rivals thanks to the prejudices they hold, and find solace in friendships they have forged online that remain mostly anonymous. Jayce is the first to discover that his rival and his friend are one and the same, and he has no idea how to navigate it.

Current status: Working on chapter 1

🔬 - Modern, older, second chance AU - inspired by @arctvros gorgeous artwork: 15 years following a lab accident that tore their partnership apart, Viktor returns to Piltover to ask the council for funding in his research toward treatment and preventative measures for the ways The Grey continues to affect Zaun. When the council votes against it, Jayce suggests that he use Hextech Industries resources since he is still a co-owner of the company and together they discover the ways in which they have changed in their time apart might be the very reason they are able to come back together to build something more than what they had before.

Current status: working on chapter 1

Buddie

💔 - Stick Season Album fic - Forced to confront a part of his past he'd rather forget, Eddie decides to drive through the night to El Paso to be open with Christopher once and for all. However, halfway there he gets into an accident leaving him trapped and stranded and hidden from view of the road and Eddie must face all of his past demons and traumas to realise that there's a future waiting for him where he can finally be happy.

Current status: 3/21 chapters published, working on chapter 4

💚 - Concerned/jealous Buck freak4freak fic - When Eddie comes out as gay and starts dating a man, Buck becomes concerned (and, yes, a little obsessive) about the fact Eddie keeps showing up with marks. The rest of the team attempt to put his mind at ease and Eddie's reasons seem plausible enough, but Buck can't shake the sick feeling he has in his stomach, much to his own boyfriend's annoyance. When Eddie shows up to Buck's apartment with bruises on his neck that look distinctly finger shaped, Buck has no choice but to confront him, but when Eddie explains that they are a matter of taste, Buck's concern quickly turns to jealousy and an eager to prove he can match Eddie's freak better than anybody

Current status: just started

🫄 - Buddie omegaverse bitching fic - During a call, Eddie discovers that the fantasy he's had of being the omega he'd always felt like rather than the alpha his family always seemed so proud for him to be, Eddie takes steps to make that happen. When he discovers that the only way to achieve the change is through being "bitched" by an Alpha, who else would he turn to than the only other Alpha Eddie knows he can trust completely to not mock him: Buck.

Current status: working on chapter 1

Steddie

🚬 - One Foot In Your Bedroom - Steve and Eddie meet following the events of season 2 and their turbulent relationship forms and breaks and forms and breaks until the aftereffects of Vecna's assault on Hawkins forces them to figure their shit out and be open with each other once and for all. It won't be easy, but it might be worth it.

Current status: 6/20 chapters published, working on chapter 7

Some no pressure tags:

@mojowitchcraft @entanglednow @cal-daisies-and-briars @prettysophist @namesnamesandmorenames

@linus-lucy @livinginsunnyhell @missyousofar @nubianamy @fruitandbubbles

@serenelystrange @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @mangacat201 @trenchcoatsandtimetravel @beshrew-my-very-heart

@srue-on-fire @weewoodiaz @starshaker @thelikesofus @shelfthe-reader

@memequeme @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs

[spicyvampire]

Okay so after the whole Sakuna/Wansarut and Phaya/Tharn "characters description" fighter (protector)/healer+protector(mediator) post, now imma talk about about our resident Snake (PhD), Doctor Chalothorn being a fighter and well how do you convince a fighter to not fight?

I've already made a whole gifset about this but I needed to put the stuff into words cuz u just can't say everything in a gifset so this post is gonna be about a few things, first of all, the way Charlothorn's goals shifted in the last 2 episodes, from wanting to kill Phaya so he can have Tharn, to wanting to save Tharn and Phaya's end not really mattering anymore, and second of all Tharn's role in this shift and where have we saw something similar to this shift before aka Wansarut and Sakuna and how Wansarut even did that

Same disclaimer as the last one applies : pulling this out of my ass from watching the show, these are raw out-of-order thoughts, ill try my best to separate but like the last post because I'm going to have to go back and forth between Wansarut (love of my life, talking about Wansarut has to be my favorite activity rn), Sakuna, Tharn (smooching him smooching him), Phaya and Chalothorn this might get hard to follow but hey that's what it's like inside my brain so welcome to the mess

Putting it under keep reading

So like I said in the last post, Chalothorn is a fighter, like you can't get more fighter than this, the man is literally the prince/ruler of Nagas and he is right in the middle of the battle field anytime there is a fight to be had, and like I said in Sakuna's part of the post he is a level that can probably can only be rivaled by Sakuna's brother, you can't be a higher level of Naga fighter from what I understand, so like how do you fight this man if you are Wansarut and Sakuna? (ep. 8)

Keep in mind that : the answer is that they never were supposed to fight Chalothorn

SCENARIO 1 : Chalothorn wins

This is what we've seen in the show, Sakuna/Wansarut/Phaya/Tharn would never win against him in a fight because they just aren't strong enough to began with, Sakuna and his Garuda were not Chalothorn's level when he was alive, Wansarut is a healer/protector not a fighter, Phaya can only do ✨Sparkles✨ of Garuda powers as of rn and while Tharn can do some powerful protecting he is of the gang the person who is the less in contact with his past and magical self (other than for protecting Phaya magic, we have not even seen his Naga in this lifetime) and also his past self wasn't even a fighter, so it makes sense that Chalothorn just keep killing them and every single one of their reincarnations, he kills them so much that it was destroying his own soul (ep. 8) because surprise he is getting affected by the little cyclic karma thingy they got going on too, this isn't just about Wansarut/Sakuna and PhayaTharn, Chalothorn is trapped in this shit too

Clearly fighting is not the answer, because even if you win, which Chalothorn has been doing a lot of, you still lose, Chalothorn is losing control of his Naga form, not only does it destroy his soul (ep. 8) but he might just not be able to turn into his human form anymore aka would be forced to be a Naga forever (ep. 9)

Another lost of this is that he keeps losing Wansarut and having to wait for the cycle to start again so he would get another chance, like the level of psychological damage getting done to him because he kills the one he loves and he is always left behind alone to wait is enough to drive anybody insane (ep. 11)

And I think that's one of the reasons why it took him so long to understand that he should let Wansarut/Tharn go, because when you do something so despicable and keep doing it over and over again you have to justifies your bad actions to yourself so you don't break and the more you justifies them the harder it becomes to see clearly through them, so you just keep doing it, like Chalothorn probably hates himself more than he even hates Phaya or love Tharn at this point because he keeps killing reincarnations of Wansarut, like this is his reaction to killing Wansarut the first time, falling to his knees screaming and everything (ep. 8), the cognitive dissonance in that man's brain must be insane

SCENARIO 2 : Phaya wins

Now let's imagine for a second there that they did win, Phaya succeeded in killing Charlothorn, and then what? Isn't Charlothorn just gonna reincarnate and come back for them again? Like yes it might take some times but it will happen, and then Phaya and Tharn would be the one destroying their souls and making their karma worst, that's just not a solution

Also we saw with Narong's case part of the show that "victim turned attacker" is not the answer (anyways that's what the show says), when Tharn and Phaya are talking to the abbot at the end of episode 5 the abbot keep repeating that over and over again killing is not the answer

When Phaya Says "Those victims are left with no choice but to fight back in order to survive. They have to kill." The abbot answers "The basic code of moral conducts for human beings like us is the 5 precepts. One should be abstained from killing other living beings. These precepts can bring peace and happiness to your family and the society. Undertaking the 5 precepts will benefit not only yourself but also the people around you." Basically straight up telling them that [not killing] is the only answer that will bring peace to everyone

Also so many parallels can be made between Narong and Chalothorn (which is probably why it was easy for Chalothorn to possess Narong to attack Phaya but let's not get into that), because like isn't this Chalothorn? (ep. 5)

His mind is so clouded by anger and wanting to kill Phaya and getting Tharn that he is obsessed with it, he literally do not see anything else, specially if Phaya is in the room and/or mentioned, like I said a bit higher in this post, he hates Phaya, but he probably hates himself too, and so much hate and anger just blinds people

Also sidenote that I'm not really gonna dive into : How do you think Tharn would feel about Phaya killing Chalothorn, knowing what u know about him? like Tharn loves Chalothorn as a friend, and that's even if Chalothorn is responsible for all the bad things in his life (ep. 12)

Tharn may be looking at Chalothorn saying this but he said "Please stop killing each other." he could not be more clearly talking to both of them, he doesn't want Chalothorn to kill Phaya but he also doesn't want Phaya to kill Chalothorn

SCENARIO 3 : Tharn Wins

Now lemme say this, you can literally never convince a fighter by fighting him, like if you've ever had a fight/argument with someone you know that you cannot reach a compromise in the heat of the fight when everyone is angry and losing the control of their emotions, it just doesn't work, but what does work in the context of the show?

Wansarut and Sakuna

And now I'm back to Wansarut (<3<3<3<3<3<3) and Sakuna because well Wansarut did change a fighter's mind before already, this is part of Wansarut's power that's why I also describe Wansarut as a mediator, and what did Wansarut do exactly?

Well Wansarut healed Sakuna, even if he is from the enemy side, and took care of him and acted in a way that was protective of him, even if again Sakuna is an enemy of Wansarut's people (literally brother of the Garuda king) because that Wansarut's character, Wansarut is a healer/a protect/a mediator that's how Wansarut fights (ep. 8)

Then Wansarut tough Sakuna about Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon)

And while being in love with each other did facilitate this change of view in Sakuna (which would later turn him a bit into a protector of Wansarut), you really do not need to be for this to work, like the best way to change people views on some things truly is just to expose them to the thing from the POV of the people living it, when nobody is in any immediate danger

And that is exactly how Tharn succeeded in convincing Chalothorn that the love between Phaya and him is good, by being there for Chalothorn and taking care of him, and being patient, until Chalothorn was ready to let him go on his own, not in the heat of of fight when everyone is angry and putting the blame on each other, which was again so healer/ protector/mediator of him like I talked about in my other post

Tharn and Chalothorn : the final

So with Wansarut and Sakuna we saw how Tharn could change Chalothorn's mind and what really does work, now imma dive into the last 2 episodes of this show aka the shift in Chalothorn

So in episode 6, Chalothorn says this

And at that time I think those words were true cuz that's literally what he has been doing isn't it? Like everytime he lost, both Wansarut and Sakuna's reincarnations died, so he was "okay" with killing Wansarut, as long as it meant that Sakuna was also dead and they weren't together (crazy way to fight cognitive dissonance if you ask me) but then something changed around episode 11 because Chalothorn started saving Tharn even if Phaya was still alive? (Ep. 11) (ep.12)

The importance of Chalothorn saving Tharn those 2 times, is that 1) now Tharn knows what the fuck is going on and 2) (like I said in the other post) Tharn end up understanding that Chalothorn can be talked too and reasoned with (the abbot would call it enlightenment), because in that 2nd saving he told Chalothorn to not kill Montee, and Chalothorn listened

Sidenote : Wansarut also did tell Chalothorn to not kill Sakuna and Chalothorn did listen that time too, like Wansarut has a BIG influence on this man (wish we saw their relationship before the mess), the only reason why the fight did continue was because Sakuna did not let Wansarut go

Why did he listen then? because he loves Wansarut, it really is as simple as that, and that's why he also listened to Tharn with Montee, because our chronically involuntary celibate man is head over dick for Tharn (valid and relatable)

So remember when I was talking about cognitive dissonance and stuff, well by ep 12, Chalothorn cannot justifies killing Tharn anymore, he is tired, he is turning into a Naga, and he cannot stand seeing another reincarnation of Wansarut die again, but most importantly he cannot stand to see Tharn die by his own hands

It's easy to concentrate on Phaya's distress in this scene but Chalothorn is in as much distress as Phaya, you can hear Chalothorn's voice break when Tharn is dying in both Phaya and his arms after asking them to stop killing each other, they are both screaming Tharn's name, and this time Chalothorn just listen because this is too much, his hatred for Phaya is just not important anymore, killing Phaya is just not as important anymore because anyways Tharn did choose him didn't he? isn't that what he wanted? even if Tharn clearly is in love with Phaya, Tharn did choose to come with him, so in a way none of this shit even fucking matters anymore

So for the 3rd time, he saves Tharn, this time by literally giving Tharn his soul so he would live (wish we saw him breaking down over Tharn dying in his arms in the Naga caves until he ended up giving Tharn his soul tbh), Chalothorn chooses to save a life instead of ending one and thus ending the curse on his part

[atlyvryx]

Yuusona introduction to the tumblr since I plan on being here more, kinda.

The stray cat, who's absolutly not, reborn from blot homunculus and actually originated from Twisted wonderland- I mean, what ?

[ RAMSHACKLE DORM ]

Mikolaj Twardowski

Mikolaj Twardowski is an unofficial first year student of Ramshackle and a supposed school’s prefect. Most of the student body don’t know anything about him, due to his closed off nature.

‘’At times, you’re really on your own, huh.’’

Technical information

Name: Mikolaj Twardowski

Japanese: ミコライ・トワルドフスキー

Romaji: Mikorai towarudofusukī

Twisted from: Chernabog (Fantasia)

Other name: Mi, Prefect, The janitor, Seigneur du destin ( Rook ), Vanta Fishie (Floyd), Mimi (Ramshackle ghosts), Carbonados (Malleus)

(Jp) Voiced by: Megumi Ogata (specific, Sailor Uranos/Haruka Tenou)

Biographical information

Gender: GNC woman

Age: 18

Birthday: May 20

Star Sign: Taurus

Height: 167

Eye color: Dark brown

Hair color: Dark blond, black streaks.

Homeland: Poland (earth)

Family: Three unnamed younger brothers, Unnamed parents.

Professional status

Dorm: Ramshackle

School year: First

Class: 1-A. No. 9

Occupation: Student. The Nrc’s janitor. Ramshackle’s prefect.

Club: None

Best subject: Enigmics

Fun facts

Dominant hand: Right

Favorite food: Caramelised popcorn

Least favorite food: Tomatoes

Dislikes: Self-righteous people

Hobbies: Doing anything alone

Talents: Commanding

Appearance

(Book 1-5)

Mikolaj has dark blond, short with the dark streaks on the end of them. He has mostly cool expressions and lifeless-like dark brown eyes.

Mikolaj is mostly seen wearing a dark colored t-shirt with the black over it, with modified back which resembles wings with dark boots and full gloves. He wears yellow colored lenses glasses to see.

(Post book 5 and onward)

Mikolaj has dark blond, short in the end hair with the dark streaks on the end of them. He has mostly cool expressions and lifeless-like dark brown eyes but the facade keeps on breaking in recent days. On his right arm, from wrist upwards, he has multiple scratches from the attack he obtained from Grim.

Mikolaj is mostly seen wearing a dark colored t-shirt with the black over it, with modified back which resembles wings with dark boots and full gloves with bandages underneath right arm, to hide scratches sustained from Grim’s attack. He wears yellow colored lenses glasses to see.

Personality

Mikolaj's self-sufficient behavior made it so he finds it hard to open to most at all, with the belief that the only person he can rely on is himself. All of his true feelings are underneath a facade of eerily calmness at any given situation. While to most, he seems almost cold due to how he keeps everybody at arm's length, in fear of ruining everything again and being hurt, he does hold care for others, due to not wanting for anybody else to feel how he once felt. Even so, he has a hypocritical belief that everybody deserves kindness when he himself has to 'earn it'. While being a great leader, Mikolaj despises working in a team, in fear of making terrible choices that would affect everybody. In the end, he prefers to be told what to do and being given tasks, in hopes of gaining favor with others. He's cut off from everybody and everything.

Powers and abilities

Smooth talk: Due to his upbringing, Mikolaj has learned what to say, to get the best outcome for himself. Some may even call it manipulation and lies, but he simply calls it smooth talk.

Unique magic: ‘’Before the bells ring, before the dawn breaks, may all the monsters rise and dance along! Devil's Symphony!’’ ‘’Devil’s symphony’’, it should have been an advanced beast talk, where the nearby monsters and beasts would have been under [...] command’s, if he had a chance to learn it back then. Now, only those of blot will be under his command, mainly blot phantoms and possible other monsters. It also works on mages, but it depends on their blot level.

Unique magic got unlocked after he overblotted from blot that had gotten into his system.

Background

Childhood vr.1

Mikolaj, or what was once Mikolaj, originated from Twisted Wonderland. In his first 'form', known under a different name, [...] grew up on Sage island.

A promising young mage, with the promise of greatness being soon taken away from him, as he fell and died too quickly. All of the events in his short life, paired with his prowess, ended up in overblot at a mere age of 11, which soon ended up in his death, as nobody was there to help, instead fleeing and leaving him behind to fend for themselves.

In a new form of blot phantom, with the slight consciousness of who he was, he wandered around hidden in the forest. Still holding onto the mentality of a child, the phantom cried to itself, in bitterness, until he was found by an odd, but who he could describe as kind, man, long before S.T.Y.X could have gotten there. The phantom was given a promise of new life, with the blot stone being the fuel for their new heart, in a world without magic, but in exchange, it meant that he would have to give up his magic. Mikolaj didn't even think twice before agreeing.

With the echo of glass shattering, the ink from it was used to write a life anew, unbeknownst that the re-written tale will be similar to the one of his demise, without a way out of it, even if it was through death the first time.

Childhood vr.2

Mikolaj was born and raised on Earth. His family wasn’t anybody significant, with two parents and three younger brothers, with Mikolaj being the oldest. Due to that, with the expectation of being eldest daughter, Mikolaj was expected to help with his siblings, often being seen as more mature thus he was often treated like an adult.

The situation was similar and yet different at school. Mikolaj was also seen as mature by its teacher, which caused him to be ignored when he needed help, especially when it needed help due to bullying and ostracization from his peers and classmates. Everybody around him was treated like children, when he never got to experience being one in the first place.

Learning young in life that he only had himself to rely on, he shut himself off from others, to avoid any kind of betrayal or hurt. He put on a facade of cool and stoic, playing onto this mature idea of who he was, but also to hide that in reality he was rather childish and overly emotional which was the cause of him becoming a target. While over the years, due to change of environment, it slightly calmed it, most of his learned behavior stayed. In the end, he put all the blame on his past self, believing himself to be unlovable and unsaveable forever, leaving him with a bitter feeling.

When 18, Mikolaj got hit by the black carriage by accident, as he pushed the human meant to get carried to Twisted Wonderland, as he saw the black carriage as a car approaching them.

At Night Raven College

LONG IN WORK MY GOODNESS. He eats the blot stones idk.

Note: Mikolaj’s lore might change depending on book 7 n 8

Trivia

Mikolaj surname is a reference to Pan Twardowski or Mistrz Twardowski (to eng. Mr. Twardowski or Master Twardowski), a fantasy polish sorcerer who, according to folklore and stories, made a deal with the devil, exchanging his soul for power. It correlates with Mikolaj is how he did it in reverse, making a deal with ‘the devil’, exchanging his power for soul.

Mikolaj’s current glasses are a ‘gift’ from Dire Crowley, due to the fact that he lost his old ones when he got carried by the dark mirror carriage. Due to the fact he didn't know his prescription, Dire just gave him glasses that adapt to the wearer's eyesight.

Mikolaj knows how to ride magical wheels due to wanting to get around the sage island faster, especially with the amount of times he had to do stuff for others. He was taught by Deuce and Epel, but the two quickly regretted it, as Mikolaj started to rag on them for not wearing helmets for safety. Mikolaj had gotten a specialized helmet to wear for safe travels, also he got one for grim.

Mikolaj doesn’t attend any club activities due to the fact he was able to talk his way out of it. He claimed that if he’s going to leave soon, why should he join any club. Even so, he was made to attend them as a supervisor.

Mikolaj reacts badly to magical artifacts, but tries to explain it in the most mundane way. Examples being feeling sick after using the dark mirror to travel, explaining it by him easily getting motion sick or nearly fainting whenever the bell rang at Fleur city, saying it must have been because of it being too loud for him.

[thegingerwrites]

✨Ficlet: Old Fandoms Not Forgotten

This ficlet was directly inspired by this post about the rest of the galaxy finding out about the events of the OT via meme.

Frannell sets her mug of caf down on the counter too loudly. The clink of ceramic on stone rings in her ears and she knows her kids on the couch and her wife at the sink are looking at her now, to see what caused the commotion, but if Frannell could spare a single thought for any of them, she might be impressed that she is keeping herself together as well as she is.

Because the news—well, the meme staring up at her from her datapad is unbelievable. Her mind might as well be on fire, a hundred thousand thoughts screaming at her all at once that mostly amount to…well, screams.

It’s a picture of a man with a stupid, confused looking face staring somewhere past the camera. The caption reads: “Okay, was anybody going to tell me that Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader were the same person or was I supposed to read that in the New Republic Senate briefing myself?”

When Frannell closes her eyes, she sees the names Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader on the insides of her lids. Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader…are the same person? The Anakin Skywalker and The Darth Vader? Former Jedi Knight and General of the GAR, Anakin Skywalker, posterboy of her youth and Darth Vader, the Sith Lord scourge of all that is light and good? Her brain doesn’t want to hold the two beings in her mind at the same time let alone believe that they are the same person. And yet, even as she has the thought that this is far too insane to believe, the cogs in her brain are already at work piecing together how this could have happened.

He just disappeared when the Republic fell along with the rest of the Jedi. There is a chance he survived. I mean, sure, there were crazier people who thought they spotted him now and again. There’s always been a chance.

“Mom?”

Frannell blinks, realizes she has been staring into the still, brown surface of her caf on the counter with the intensity of a war veteran going through flashbacks. She blinks again and looks down at her daughter, Jeni, who has her backpack perched on her shoulders.

“Isn’t it time to walk to the bus stop?” Jeni asks.

Is it? Frannell looks at the time on her datapad and catches a brief glimpse of the meme again before scrolling, just slightly, away. Jeni is right. She has been staring off into the middle distance for the last twenty minutes and now it is time to take the kids to school. She has wasted the few minutes of free time she gets each day between waking up, taking the kids to school, and going to work. Lovely.

Frannell catches sight of her wife, Lara, and tries to communicate with her eyes that she is currently in the midst of a panic. Lara’s brow furrows in silent question, but she takes the hint.

“I’ll walk you two today,” Lara says, helping Jaxon put his shoes on. She takes Jeni’s hand as they reach the door. Before they leave, she gives Frannell one last troubled look and Frannell shakes her head. There is nothing she can say. She can’t put her thoughts into words just yet. The weight of this revelation is too much.

Absently, Frannell thinks that maybe she should have said something to Lara. After all, this news is of galactic importance and there is no way that Lara has heard about it yet. The timestamp on the meme is dated only a half hour ago. The Senate briefing came out in the small hours of morning on Chandrila and no one but the most diehard reporters has been able to comb through it just yet for important information. Ordinary citizens of the New Republic will have to wait to see how the proceedings will actually affect them.

But Frannell needs to sit with this news for a moment. Because she is not some ordinary galactic citizen—well, in most respects, she very much is. But when it comes to Anakin Skywalker, she is practically an expert, and this news just dropped a bomb onto her whole world.

She doesn’t have to search for her old username and password. A few years ago, she revived her account out of casual interest and a bit of curiosity, to see if anyone she knew still populated the message boards and blogs. It was kind of nice, a warm wave of nostalgia, to see that some were still active and others had taken their place, that despite the slower pace of things there were still people making gifs and edits, even writing fics. There isn’t much new content out there about the old Jedi—in fact the creation of it was somewhat illicit for the longest time, not strictly prohibited by Imperial ordinances but heavily monitored by loyalty officers and outright forbidden on several worlds—but there are still people out there, like her that are obsessed with the Jedi, with The Team in particular.

Today, the site is on fire. Frannell feels like she has just walked into a room, expecting a party only to find everything in flames. Everyone is logged on. Frannell thinks she even recognizes a few usernames from way back in the day, people she hasn’t seen in years.

Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader AND Luke Skywalker’s father? How does that even work? What happened to Padme? Did he kill her? Anakin survived TCW only to become the Empire’s top enforcer? I don’t believe it! I can’t!

What about Obi-Wan? Luke claims he was there on Tatooine and gave him Jedi training! Yo, can you imagine the kind of grief raising your best friend’s kid involves? Did he know Anakin=Vader?

Mixed in with the screaming are old photos and videos of Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, and The Team. Frannell has seen most of them before but they are such a throwback she spends nearly an hour scrolling through them before realizing she is desperately late for work.

Frannell throws on a coat and runs out the door with her own speeder bus to catch. On the way to the office, she keeps her eyes glued to her commlink. The situation keeps getting worse somehow. There is too much speculation, too many wild rumors flying around, and Frannell cannot keep up. She nearly misses her stop because she is about to argue with some idiot who thinks Padme Amidala must still be alive with the rest of the Jedi Order somewhere on Tatooine.

How can anyone expect her to cope on a day like today? Frannell glances around at the other heads just visible above the walls of their cubicles. Everyone has their eyes down, dutifully focused or at least committed to the act of looking busy. This is galaxy changing stuff! Surely, she can’t be the only one absolutely losing her mind.

She keeps one hand on her datapad at all times throughout the morning. Whenever she can steal a quick look at the message boards she does. Frannell wishes she could pull it up on the dual screens in front of her, surround herself with the sheer chaos and excitement of fandom grabbing hold of new information like a lothwolf shaking prey caught in its teeth.

Her boss nearly catches her speculating that Obi-Wan Kenobi must have known about Anakin’s fall to the dark side and stole Luke away to Tatooine in order to keep him safe. She has her head down with both hands tapping furiously away at her personal datapad when they clear their throat behind her desk chair causing her to bolt upright in alarm.

After that, Frannell puts in about twenty minutes of work organizing supply orders before she decides she can’t take it anymore. She clocks out for an early lunch and spends the entire time fixated on her pad. With droid-like focus and precision, she is trying to figure out if there is any resemblance between the Republic-era holos of Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi and the few images available of Luke Skywalker. Some absolutely insane person is insisting that Luke must be the product of an affair between Kenobi and Amidala and Frannell has to be the one to prove them wrong.

There’s just no way. Not possible. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Negotiator, Jedi Master and High General of the Galactic Army of the Republic, would never. He is—was, too noble. Too much the perfect Jedi to carry out an affair. Even Frannell has to admit that a forbidden romance between Anakin and Padme is far more likely. A flame burns in Frannell’s heart for the complicated relationship between Master and Padawan, brothers in arms, but the lengths to which Kenobi would stick to the teachings of his Order above and beyond the call of his own heart is part of what draws her most to the relationship. If Obi-Wan wasn’t going to break his vows for Anakin, there’s no way he would do it for Senator Amidala. There’s just no way. There’s also some fringe theory about Luke being the child of Kenobi and a former ruler of Mandalore, Duchess Satine Kryze, but anyone with sense can see that the timing on that is completely off.

When Frannell returns to her desk—late, of course, it’s just that kind of day—she notices her boss hovering over a coworker’s shoulder a few cubicles down. Promising herself that she will at least focus until they find somewhere to lurk that’s farther away from her desk, Frannell stows her datapad in a drawer and fires up a few neglected spreadsheets, determined to get to work.

But with her mind half on her boss’ head poking above the cubicle walls a few desks down and half on the datapad she can’t see in her drawer, Frannell has very little attention left to pay to the rows and columns of boxes on her screen. None, in fact. She stares at the little white grid until her eyes blur but she can’t seem to make any headway.

Frannell taps her fingers on the arm of her chair. She can’t do this anymore but she can’t just leave. She doesn’t have the sick time or vacation days to simply walk away from her desk. Maybe she could make up some excuse about one of the kids?

Her hand lingers on the drawer handle before she makes up her mind and pulls it open. Just a peek. It’ll take two seconds just to see if anything new and explosive came out and then she’ll put it back and move on with her life. A minute, five minutes tops. And if her boss heads this way, Frannell is more than capable of hiding her datapad away again before they notice what she’s up to.

She opens her account to posts that are mostly keysmashes. For a moment, she thinks the server must be malfunctioning or something. Frannell is ready to reboot the whole thing when at last, she scrolls down far enough to see the post that started this fresh wave of madness.

It’s a different meme format from before but one that Frannell is familiar with: two stills from a semi-popular holodrama with a cult following, two actors emoting heavily for the camera. The first is captioned with the actor saying, “I love you.”

The second says, “Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa are twins separated at birth.”

Not a single thought crosses Frannell’s mind before the decision is made. She powers down her desktop screens, grabs her coat, and waves to her boss as she passes them on her way out of the office for the day. With her datapad firmly in hand, she knows she has work to do.

[masterofrecords]

Angstober day 5: Do better

Blood Ties

“I told you not to come here.”

It was alright for them to visit each other’s homes, but her mixing up the personas, visiting him when he was Thobias and not Adrian? That was risky, and thoughtless.

“The boy knows,” she blurts out, thankfully quietly.

That gives him pause.

He locks the door, draws the curtains. The barrier, protecting from eavesdroppers, pushes out towards the walls, and only then he allows himself to let Adrian’s face bleed onto his.

“Come again?”

“That… clerk at old hag’s law firm. He found the lab.”

“I thought you said you’ve dealt with it,” he remarks, and her mouth twitches.

“He kept digging even after being told to drop it. I don’t know – he’s young and… upright, I guess.”

“How remarkable.”

He can tell she’s getting frustrated that he doesn’t seem to be sharing her urgency, but in truth, he has no reason to be worried. The only thing connecting him to the lab is Margaret herself. The boy is her problem.

After all, Adrian knows nothing about alchemy, or the occult. He’s made sure those were other faces. Adrian is barely anybody, too busy mourning his parents untimely deaths.

“Look, lend me someone for a few nights, I’ll get rid of him. I’m sure he hasn’t told anyone, it’ll be fine, I just need some extra support – he’s on his guard now, and I heard he’s s decent fencer.”

She’s running her fingers along the seam of her skirt, too nervous for the kinds of things she’s saying.

“What are you not telling me?” he asks, and she shudders under his gaze before straightening out.

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll fix it,” she insists, but she’s not a good enough liar, and he knows her too well.

“What are you not telling me?” he asks once more. With someone else, he might have made effort to put in some emphasis.

With her, just the repetition is enough.

Still, she hesitates.

“He has the book,” she says quietly, as if hoping he wouldn’t hear.

It’s not fatal, of course. He has contingencies – he’s seen the full description; worst case scenario, he will force himself into remembering. But the enormity of her blunder is…

He looks at Margaret again. He’s long since thought of her as just Margaret at this point, but perhaps there was some lingering affection in the way he’s let her stay even as she grew sloppier in her work, as his own strength soared far beyond needing her.

That boy though…

Strong, righteous, persistent. Adrian’s thoughts go back to the dark throne hidden underground, to the kind of blood it thirsts after.

“Don’t kill him, bring him to me,” he orders her, and her too-expressive face turns angry.

“He’s not some nobody that won’t be missed!” she hisses. “Why?”

He ignores her question and repeats, “Don’t kill him. Figure something out, fake his death – I don’t care, just get it done. And move the lab. The warehouse is empty for now, use that.”

She wants to argue, and he again conjures Thobias’s red hair and five-o-clock shadow to let her know the conversation is over.

Last chance for her to do better.

After all, he’s running out of other blood relatives to offer to the hellfire.

---

It might look like I'm behind, but technically I have 6 pieces written as of today, I just ended up writing tomorrow's one instead of today's. It... makes sense with the in-universe timeline. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to post both...

And for now, more Adrian and Margaret (or: how this nephew-aunt relationship ends): Awakening, Tools Discarded and Broken

[wayward-travelers]

12. How much does your OC's background and origin affect their approach to relationships? Are there specific insecurities or preferences that lead on from their past?

In short: a lot, and yes.

Slightly longer answer: I don't really see how it could not? For me, the background of a character must inform their decisions, romantically or otherwise, and I don't think anybody goes through life without insecurities.

How it affects their relationships is just too specific to each one of them to really give a general answer, though, so I've developed more under the cut how it affects my WoLships specifically. Fair warning: it's pretty long xD

Aïcha's origins don't influence her too much in the sense that both her ships started in a very unorthodox way regardless of culture. In a more traditional context, it probably would have played a bigger role, but at the same time she's been living abroad for a long time now. She's Thavnairian, yes, but she's picked up a lot of cultural habits from other places too and it's kind of a mix nowadays that wouldn't fit neatly in any particular culture.

Her backstory, however, left her with a lot of guilt that in HW and StB conditioned greatly how she reacted to both Estinien during their road trip and the subsequent patches, and then later on to Zenos in Rhalgr's Reach and beyond.

She's doing better now, but she was a mess. Although a mess capable of recognizing a just and kind man despite his anger, despite his hatred for dragons, despite his role in upholding Ishgard's interests. That Estinien would consider giving a chance to Ysayle to prove her point—and then follow through—made her respect him a lot. And it's truly what drew her to him. Respect.

And from his perspective, the absolute lack of judgement and the deep understanding of what he was going through, despite knowing very little of him, was very much not something he expected from a foreigner. But it's the mixture of both, influenced by their own history, that drew them to each other even post 3.X patches.

For Zenos... Their relationship, which only truly lasted from the second fight against him in Yanxia to the Liberation of Ala Mhigo, is one of projecting onto the other, self-destructiveness and mutual obsession.

In the game, Zenos is kinda meant to be a foil for the WoL in a "what if the WoL had never have a good support system and a just cause to fight for?" but that's not what happened to them. Aïcha has everything she wanted before she sacrificed a promising life to save her dad: a loving and dotting father, friends, hobbies, a promising career as a professional dancer. She's strong, she was above the others in her art and would have become famous rather quickly, but she never felt disconnected from people. And she worked hard to get there.

Zenos, to her, represented the worst in herself. Because she, too, had killed people for an unjust cause. And she might have had good reasons to take that path at first, but that made no difference to those who died by her hand. So she hated him because she saw herself in him and couldn't stand it. She wanted him gone because she wanted herself gone, and the entire time their relationship lasted was time spent punishing herself for failing the one person who had had faith in her ability to redeem herself: Haurchefant.

She saw zenos for himself for the first time during their fight in Ultima Thule, and she killed him in an act that serves to close the narrative arc that started when she joined the mob to save her father: by once again sacrificing a part of herself to protect someone she loved. This time their daughter, because there was no way she'd ever allow Zenos to know she existed.

But Zenos was actually her soulmate, so when I say she sacrificed a part of herself, it's literal. This life will be the last they ever crossed path in because she left his body in Ultima Thule, thus never allowing him to rejoin the Lifestream and finally putting an end to a cycle of meeting in every life since their ancient selves bound their souls together.

Inge's origins influence one specific aspect of any romantic relationship she currently has or will ever have, because there's one aspect from her people's culture she's not interested in throwing away at all: it was never expected for them to spend a lot of time with their partners. People from her village tend to live relatively solitary lives, meeting sometimes in Sjasaris—which is really more a place to meet each other, celebrate and communally raise children—but otherwise spent their time essentially on their own. And that's very much still what she's doing.

She'll see her partners on occasion, spend quality time with them, send gifts, etc. but she needs to be able to go as she pleases and just live her life without them being around.

If one of her partners one day cannot stand it anymore, that'd signify the end of the relationship pretty quickly because she's really not interested in doing things differently.

She did try though. Once. It was a few years after leaving the Jungle, in Kugane, with a woman she's never been officially with but also they raised her young daughter Hanae together for a while... until her lover's eventual betrayal.

And that betrayal is very much another thing that conditions a lot how she approaches relationships, romantic or otherwise. She's less hesitant now to allow people in her inner circle, but it's not a coincidence that both her wife and Shtola are principled, protective and don't bow to authority. Inge doesn't trust nor forgive easily.

It also took her a while after Carteneau to let herself believe that no, she wouldn't lose everyone and everything again. She's mostly there, though. Mostly.

And thank you for the ask, @ascendedhypothesis! I hope you don't mind the length.

[pinkorchidsinspring]

as someone else who grew up mormon, the prairie diamond ring bracelet is the biggest reach.

as some else who grew up mormon and is bisexual and had her sexuality speculated before she ever had the chance to came out, it is INCREDIBLY harmful of yall to be dedicating entire blogs to proving someone’s sexuality. how you all don’t see that is insane to me, if she IS bisexual it is incredibly gross to be trying to force her out of the closet.

taking a queer meaning from someone’s art (aka, YOUR interpretation) does not mean they are gay. trying to force that on someone you don’t know is not cool.

Hey anon, I am fully aware that that is a big reach, the person who added it knew that it could be a huge reach and openly said that if you read the post. So while I respect your opinion about my blog, and this communities blogs, I cannot respect you calling us gross for talking about our queer interpretation of her art.

We are NOT trying to force her out of the closet. You do not see us commenting on Taylor’s best friends, and “boyfriends” accounts that they need to “get married already” or commenting on Taylor’s posts “Break up with him already 😩”. That is SWIFTIES. They get all in her business and harass Taylor and her friends, all because they want more information about her personal relationship that they don’t deserve.

We as a community just want Taylor to be happy, and that means we would be perfectly fine with her being straight.

You’re right, by the way, our opinions don’t make her gay.

For an artists who loves Easter eggs, we would believe her if she didn’t constantly queer code everything. If her top artist on Spotify wasn’t girl in red. If her music didn’t constantly reference a “best friend” that she allegedly ended her friendship with in 2017 In a romantic light. If she didn’t tag her account in the middle of a rainbow on her posts. If she didn’t have a song about the street she lived on with that said best friend. IF SHE DIDN’T WRITE THE LYRIC “I DON’T WANT YOU LIKE A BESTFRIEND” OR “SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY”.

So no anon, it’s not cool to force someone out of the closet. We would never pressure Taylor to come out. Is there some accounts that probably do? Of course, but we are not those accounts. We care about her happiness, and her happiness both in love, and in general, cannot be found in Evermore, or Folklore. Nor can it be found on Midnights with songs like Anti-Hero, Lavender Haze (that 1950’s shit they want from me), You’re on your own kid, and even sweet nothing.

You’re telling me anon, that Sweet Nothing doesn’t sound like one person wanted only sweet nothing. They didn’t want ANYTHING from her at all, in exchange for their love? That instead of a contractual arrangement, she fell in love?

You’re telling me that any of her boyfriends’ names are something she can slur til’ someone puts her in a car? I don’t know about you but kar-lie sounds more like car when slurred then Joe…

So I’m sorry anon, but in this case you weren’t in the right of accusing me of forcing her into anything. She does everything on her own terms, and we can’t, and won’t change that. We want her happiness, and it clearly isn’t being evidenced in her art thus far.

Maybe you should look at your own heteronormativity and how that affects Taylor’s sexuality. Maybe you’re a part of the reason she’s in the closet in the first place… I beg of you anon, go check out some of the amazing Kaylor Blogs I follow and look for yourself how much our interpretation of her songs is the one she means. As a bisexual yourself I know you can see beyond the heteronormative window, so please, do try.

[iwonderwh0]

I can't reply on the post and don't want to reblog it again, but I'm not forgetting Daniel. Unfortunately the only thing we see of Daniel pre-deviancy is him saying hello into a video. It doesn't give us any sense of who he is as a person. That clip is about Emma's attachment to him because he's "the coolest android in the world", but all he does is say hello when prompted, with reasonably good cheerful affect. It contrasts sharply with what we see, which is him dangling Emma off the roof, and the game doesn't really go into whether that brief clip was the real Daniel or just an act provided by his programming.

We get a sense of what he wants, and what he values from his actions as a deviant, because apparently just the threat of being torn away from his family and discarded was enough to send him deviant. But the game arguably portrays his deviancy as a bad thing and him as a villain instead of it being a tragedy that he was driven to this desperation. (Mileage may vary on that one based on personal experiences; "you lied to me, Connor" is gut-wrenching, but it's also one possible ending out of all of them, requiring absolute success in manipulation from Connor, and the only ending that hits that way. In the rest of them, he HAS to die for Connor to save Emma so his death feels justified.)

Okay, that's fair, the clip doesn't give us a lot. I was just thinking about how what we learn from his words and actions paints us a picture of how he reached this point. And how he had some really strong personal opinions about his life and place in the world long before deviancy. Otherwise, his reaction wouldn't be this. 100% he's not the first android who got replaced, but he's the first one to get revengeful about.

And, him being a villain? Oh boy, you know me, I fucking love him being a villain. I disagree with him being only a victim in this, which is not to say his story isn't tragic (it is).

But it's his decision to go for a revenge instead of escape. It's his decision to drag Emma (who may not even know about the new android) to the rooftop and use her as a hostage with him being perfectly capable of going through with his threat and fall back dragging Emma down with him. Even though he supposedly loved her, his hatred and resentment is stronger. He thinks she deserves it. Because she (her family) hurt him, and he ain't gonna let that slide. It's not the fear of death that motivates him, not self-defence but pure rage. He took the gun and instead of escaping with it he goes straight to the person who wronged him and kills him when he isn't expecting.

And his rage and hatred extrapolates far beyond Philips family.

He objects to Connor helping a human that has nothing to do with Philips family and pose no threat to him anymore, so it's just a question of whether his life (one more to the list) will end as result of Daniel's actions. Daniel later says that he didn't want to hurt anybody, and yet here, when he has a chance for making his actions less murderous for the outsiders, he objects.

"All humans die eventually. What difference does it make if this one dies now?"

Ah, what a line! Compare it with Traci's words about how she only killed out of fear of being next.

When Connor pushes Emma away, what does he do? Once again, he chooses revenge, but this time aimed at Connor. Not even a human, but just another android doing his job.

Daniel story is tragic, but his actions, even though done in panic and shock are still his actions that he chose himself. And I think we should let him own them. He attacked first. When he was cornered he made sure to drag others with him.

Sorry, I dwelled away from original topic. Revengeful Danial is just my fave, and I prefer his actions to be viewed as his own choices and not something universal any deviant in his place would do.