#been working on this for a while! i'm certain i'll think of more questions after posting but at this point i just gotta post it

[acealistair]

RPG Character Development Questions!

Trying my hand at making one of these, specifically aimed towards D&D characters but it should also work for other TTRPGs and video games like Dragon Age.

Send me any number of emojis for any of my characters! Anyone is welcome to reblog! 😊

~*~*~CHARACTER DESIGN~*~*~

👀: Describe their physical appearance in as much detail as possible. Facial features, colors, height, build, etc. 👄: How do they talk? What's their vocabulary like? What does their voice sound like? Any accent, verbal tics, etc? 👃: Do they smell like anything in particular? Why do they smell like that? 🏷️: What is their full name? Do any of their names have any special meaning? How did you come up with them? 🌳: What physical traits did they inherit from their biological parents? Do they look more like one parent than the other? ♦️: Are there any motifs you associate with them? What do those motifs represent thematically? 🎨: What is their color scheme? Or at least colors you associate them with? 🔮: If they were to feature in the art of a tarot card, which one would it be and why? 💭: What was the original concept for your OC? Has it changed at all since then? 📺: Is your OC inspired at all by characters from other media? Which one(s) and what traits do they have in common? 🛡️: How does their class inform their characterization? How does their personality match or clash with the stereotype for that class? 📖: Describe your ideal character arc for them. How do you envision them changing by the end of the story?

~*~*~SKILLS/HOBBIES~*~*~

📊: What is their best stat? What is their worst/dump stat? How do these affect how you roleplay as them? 🗡️: What type of weapon do they normally use? Is there a particular reason for it? ✨: Are they a magic user? If so, how did they come to learn it (born with it, studied, acquired, etc.)? What does their magic look like when cast? If not, what is their attitude towards magic? 🖌️: What is their go-to hobby? When did they start learning it? Why do they like it? 🔨: Do they have any practical skills they wouldn't consider a hobby? What sorts of skills and how/why did they learn them? 🍳: Are they good at cooking? Do they like to? Why and how did they learn to cook, or, if they didn't, why didn't they? 🎵: Are they any good at singing? What situations do/would they sing in? Would they sing in the shower? 🎻: Do they know how to play an instrument? If so which one(s)? Do they enjoy music in general? 💃: How do they feel about dancing and are they any good at it? Do they prefer solo, partnered, or group dancing? 🚗: In a modern AU, what kind of job would they have, if any? 🎁: If they needed to give a friend a gift, how would they go about choosing one? Would they buy it, make it, or do something else? Would others consider them good at gift-giving? 📚: Do they like to read books? If so, what sorts of books do they prefer to read? If not, why don't they like reading? ✍: What does your character's handwriting look like? Do they write letters often? What other contexts do they usually write in, if any?

~*~*~PERSONALITY~*~*~

🙂: What are three of their personality traits that others would generally consider positive? 🙁: What are three of their personality traits that others would generally consider negative? 😱: Do they have any irrational fears/phobias? How do they cope with them? Has a phobia ever impacted the game you play them in? 😭: How easily do they cry? Do they ever cry in front of other people? When was the last time they cried? 💢: How quick are they to anger? What is a surefire way to piss them off? What do they act like when angry? 😄: How can you tell when they're really happy? What sorts of things make them happy? How often do they smile? 😳: How easily are they embarrassed/flustered? What sorts of things catch them off-guard and make them lose their cool? 🏁: What do they consider to be their main goal in life, the thing that motivates most of their actions? 🤲: Do they have any deep desires that they don't talk about and/or don't even realize they have? Do these desires conflict with their main goal at all? 🗣️: How social are they? Do they speak to strangers because they like to or only when necessary? How differently do they act with strangers vs. friends? 🐾: How do they feel about animals? Do they have/want any pets? Do they have a favorite animal?

~*~*~BACKSTORY~*~*~

😬: Did they ever make a major decision in their past that they regret? How are they handling it now? 🙏: What are their feelings on religion? If they are religious, what do they practice? How much of an impact does it have on their daily life? 🎓: What was their education like? Do they have any favorite subjects? What is their preferred learning style? 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦: What is their family like? Are there any family members that are particularly influential and/or important to them (whether in a positive or negative sense)? 🛝: Do they have any childhood friends? If so, are they still in touch with them? What is their relationship like now (or why did it end)? 🧸: What was their favorite childhood toy and why? 🚸: Would they consider their childhood to have been a happy one? Why or why not? Does their perception of that differ from yours as their player? 🌹: Are they experienced romantically? How many romantic partners have they had? How has this affected their view of romance? 😡: Do they have any enemies and/or rivals from their past? How serious of a threat are they to your OC?

~*~*~RELATIONSHIPS~*~*~

💘: Do they have a "canon" romantic partner? If so, who is it and what is their relationship like? If not, what kind of person would be the optimal romantic partner for them (the most interesting narratively, not necessarily the healthiest/what they think their preferences are)? 😍: What traits, physical and/or mental, do they find attractive in other people? 💒: How does your character feel about marriage? Have their feelings on marriage ever changed? 🎉: Who are their party members/companions? Describe each of their relationships with your OC (however brief or detailed you want). 💍: Among their current companions, are there any that are narrative foils to your OC? How so? 🍼: How do they feel about children in general? Do kids get along with them? Do they have/want kids of their own (now or down the line)? 🤝: How do they express platonic affection? When does an acquaintance become a friend for them? 🥰: Who do they currently consider to be their best friend and why? Has their best friend changed over time? ���: How are they with casual physical touch? Do they have different boundaries based on how well they know a person? Is there a specific reason behind their comfort level?

[sukunasweetheart]

oh, to fit him like a glove...

WARNINGS; ooc sukuna, virgin!reader (well... not for long), size kink, BREEDING, vaginal fingering, sukuna only has one dick here cuz i wanted to make it less complicated, COCKWARMING, stomach bulge, degradation, praise, sukuna is a four armed king, overstimulation, mouth-hands, EXCESSIVE CUM

based on this anon's ask! dividers credit; @/cafekitsune

word count; 3k

imagine being sukuna's precious princess of a wife-- whom he spoils and dotes on because its in his interests to do so. like any other woman, youre tiny compared to him, so having you take his cock eventually will be very tedious work, and sukuna will need a lot of patience.

and we all know, sukuna is the most patient man in the world... at least when it means that it'll be worth it for him at the end. and to him, you are worth everything.

he's proud and pleased to be your first... sukuna can't help but feel keen about the idea that he will be the only one ever to have had the pleasure of being so intimate with you.

he watches you intently, as you struggle to take even two of his thick fingers in your tight hole, tearing up and whimpering as he tampers with those delicate spots inside you.

"nngh.. sukuna... that feels so good..." you whimper his name delightfully, it almost makes his enduring patience snap.

outwardly, his face looks calm as he looks down at you with soft lust that takes the form of an almost blank expression.

"does it?" he asks, with a certain playfulness in his voice.

his fingers move a little faster, scissoring you inside and pressing in an upwards manner, where it makes you gasp the most. you're producing so much slick, but your hole is still so tight and unrelenting, clenching around his thick digits even more. sukuna thinks about good it'd feel if his dick was inside instead, and he feels himself aching with desire, twitching and leaking precum from his hidden erection.

...not yet.

he dutifully touches you to your orgasm, and watches with a hitched breath as you tremble on his fingers, walls fluttering against them. your sighs and soft moans reach his ears like nothing else.

his extra hands grope at your breasts, finding solace in them.

"do you think i'm ready yet?" you ask tenderly, after your breath returns to normal.

"... hardly, my love. that was only two of my fingers," sukuna tells you languidly, as he feeds your slick on his digits to the mouth on his stomach.

"only two? oh dear..." you sigh with sorrow, "will i ever be able to take you whole one day?"

he smirks at the question, and leans down into your chest while holding ahold of your hand.

"well of course. i'll make it happen no matter what. i promise."

the way he says it sends a shiver down your spine.

when it does happen, you best be ready for him to breed you full every night.

however, on some days, the urge gets unbearable, even for himself. he's been saving himself up a little, so he could pour everything inside you when the time comes, but the lust gets overwhelming, clouding his sight and judgement.

one night, you gesture towards the bulge in his pants, with a shaking hand.

"what about you? isn't it painful to always withhold yourself like that?" you ask, wanting for him to feel good as well, instead of just yourself.

sukuna grows silent, sweating bullets as his dick throbs upon your mention of it.

the next minute, he's taking it out and slotting it between your thighs, rubbing up against your slit and seeing how the size compares to your stomach.

the temptation is too great.

not. yet.

this was the whole reason he was avoiding using his cock with your body in the first place - because he was afraid he'd cave in and attempt to deflower you when you weren't ready yet, still too tight for him to squeeze in, causing you pain only.

if it were anyone else, he wouldn't bother... but you're one that he cherishes too much... he wants to work to make the end result even tastier. the moment where he'll finally claim you entirely.

the bed creaks as he thrusts in and out between your thighs, rubbing his twitching dick against your hole oozing with slick, also brushing up onto your clit that's swollen from arousal.

" 'm sorry... i wish... there was more i could do..." you whimper sweetly, squeezing one of his large hands.

"there's no need for that. whatever i can't put inside you now... i'll pump in twice as much, once you're ready for me," sukuna whispers gently, holding your hand back, a groan resounding in the back of his throat.

rewards become so much sweeter after restraint. like how you wouldn't pick and eat an unripe fruit from a tree.

"you're doing plenty enough for me... for now," he tells you breathlessly. he adores the glossy look in your eyes.

his cock continues to glide back and forth, and he feels so hot between your thighs.

"i... i want your tip inside when you cum, please," you say, eyeing his dick with a certain neediness.

"are you sure, love?" he asks, hoping you'll say yes. you nod fervently.

sukuna feels lightheaded at the thought of it, all the while his dick gets more and more sensitive against your thighs... his balls feel so heavy and full, all those times he held himself back coming to catch up on him.

you squeeze your legs around him harder, making him groan, cock pulsing for all it's worth. he thinks about how tightly your walls would clamp around him. the heat from your insides, and your slick covering his shaft. he's close.

he suddenly spreads your legs.

at this stage, he's only barely able to get his tip past your entrance. it's possible when he does it slowly enough. you whine beneath him, doing your best to not go against his arms that are pinning your legs down.

a drop of sweat rolls down the side of his face. sukuna uses an extra hand to stroke the rest of his dick as his tip remains snug inside your puckering hole. when it comes, he gives a choked-off gasp from how good his first-in-a-while release feels.

he has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from burying himself any further.

the ropes of cum seep and trickle into your womb in thick, heavy spurts, and the hotness of it gets you breathing unevenly, being so aroused by this sensation. there's a copious amount. he continues jerking himself off to get every last droplet out, and his own hand can feel the intense twitches of the veins on his erection.

it's not nearly enough to satisfy him, but it's enough to keep him patient.

once his tip pops out from your wet hole again, his spend come out of it in large globs, and sukuna can't help but admire the sight, his dick twitching weakly in his hand.

he abstains from cumming all over again for another few weeks- another few weeks of stretching you out with his fingers, and prepping you to perfection.

when the day finally creeps up, where he believes you're ready to take him whole, sukuna hears and feels his heartbeat in his own ears.

ever so slowly. he's sitting down on the edge of the bed, and he has you lower yourself on his throbbing cock as he's face to face with you, ever so slowly. your body trembles lightly and he feels it on his hands and fingers as they're placed against your hips. sukuna senses your anxiousness that flows from you in large waves.

your hole is so tight, trying to push the intrusion out, but the wetness from your slick helps his cock slip inside easier, and sukuna's breath is kept within the back of his throat as you swallow him up deeper and deeper.

he's sweating. you're sweating. but soon enough, you're sat on his lap completely, having gotten all of him inside you at last. you can barely breathe with how tightly you enclose around him. how his cock is nudged up snugly against your cervix, pushing the literal air out of your lungs. and the way you feel it twitching inside.

sukuna has never been more patient, more self disciplined, more repressed than in this moment. one wrong movement and he feels like he could snap and start thrusting in without concern for you in any moment. no. he shouldn't do that. it would ruin all everything he's done to build you up for this moment.. but your walls keep tauntingly squeezing around him...

"i- i can finally fit all of you inside..." you say with glee, tears on your lashes, but looking very proud of yourself. it snaps him back to sanity, a little bit.

"of course... you were made for me, after all. so perfectly mine, fitting me like a glove," sukuna mumbles, as his bigger tongue licks against your clit, arousing you more so that you could loosen up for him. his praise gets to your head and makes you feel sheepish, wanting to do more to please him. but you don't think you can do that, just yet.

"can we stay like this for a bit, please?"

"that would be...for the best. can't have my wife splitting in half, can i?" sukuna jests rather sinisterly.

"oh, you..." you pout at him. the larger tongue rubs against you more persistently to distract you, and he smirks as it does the trick. you whimper, and your walls pulse gently around him making him groan. your eyes get half lidded, already feeling somewhat exhausted, and you lean your face against the large man's chest.

veins are bulging out of his arms, and one on his forehead. you seem so relaxed, unbeknownst to the fact that he's currently doing everything to keep himself together. you're like a tiny mouse trapped in the claws of a tiger.

sukuna starts to bite and kiss down your neck and shoulder to satiate himself.

few minutes after you've calmed yourself a little, your eyes start wandering down, taking notice of the bump on your stomach, from having him inside you.

"it goes without saying, but you're so big..." you press against it without thinking, and you feel him throb inside you intensely. sukuna grabs your wrist with a growl.

"are you trying to test my patience right now?"

you look at him with wide eyes, from how unusually on edge he is... something about him being all restless makes you feel aroused. you're doing that to him. a man who rarely ever feels. but you've gotten him all sensitive.

" 'm sorry. kiss me?" you ask sweetly, lips curling up in a foxy way.

his gaze softens.

"when you ask me so sweetly... i can't deny you, can i?"

and he leans down to press his lips onto yours, despite seeing the mischief in your eyes. your arms go around his neck, and as he's kissing you, his hands go for your breasts.

you tighten up on his leaking dick, making him moan into your mouth. his grip on your hips squeeze harder, but he doesn't stop kissing you.

you want to make him cum. you want him to lose control from being inside you.

sukuna breaks the kiss with a little choked off heave, when you begin to roll your hips around him slightly.

"you're getting awfully ahead of yourself-"

you cut him off by latching your mouth to the side of his neck, suckling and running your tongue against his skin while your hips keep moving.

he'd call you cute, but it's working. sukuna grits his teeth and his eyes get heavy lidded, dick getting impossibly harder. his heavy breathing adds to your excitement.

"i never knew my wife was such a whore. i'll be sure to return this favour later," sukuna tells you with a low voice, his hands now guiding your hips against him.

you're wordless, as you continue running your lips and tongue up his skin, moving onto his jawline, only giving a whine in response, feeling his tip press into the entrance of your womb.

such lousy movement usually wouldn't be near enough for him, but...

his head lulls back, exposing the way his adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows thickly, getting close... your little kitten thrusts and the way you're tonguing the sensitive area under his jaw...

sukuna's hips jolt into you for the last time.

" 'm cumming-"

his mouth hangs open as he releases - dumping weeks' worth of seed into your cunt. his body jerks against you and you bite into his shoulder.

his cock throbs erotically in your clamping walls, and you milk him effortlessly, and you moan on his neck, while still suckling and tonguing the same area, feeling the hotness of his cum as it thickly pours into you, making your belly swell a bit from it.

sukuna groans as he seeds your womb properly for the first time, two hands on your hips, one against the back of your neck, and the remaining arm wrapped around your waist to keep you still as his dick pulses inside you.

your head is whirring from the tense situation, being creampied so lewdly for the first time, to think that he's released inside, and the feeling of his every breath as he orgasms, is enough to make you feel so exhilarated.

suddenly, he stills.

it makes you a little nervous, so you detach your upper body from him and aim to look at his expression. but before you can make any further movement, you're suddenly thrown onto your back against the soft mattress of the bed in the speed of light. he keeps himself buried in you, making sure to plug you up nicely.

when you meet his eyes after a shocked gasp, you see his darkened expression, his eyebrows furrowed, but his mouth curved up in a toothy, sinister grin.

"you really tested me back there, didn't you?" he rasps, grabbing your face and forcing you to keep your gaze on him.

"i hope you're aware that i'm not letting you get a wink of sleep tonight."

not a word gets out of your mouth, before sukuna pulls his dick back, and slams his hips into you, his thick cock dragging against your tight walls.

your voicebox makes a noise that you never thought was possible, a noise that's mixed with both a moan and a scream.

"oh, fuck..." sukuna mumbles gutturally, beginning to thrust in and out of you the way he's always wanted to. your hands fist the sheets behind your head, and his hands keep your legs spread apart for him, while the other two pinch at your breasts roughly, groping at your flesh so brazenly.

his heavy balls slap against your ass as his hips rut into you, making sure to drive himself in to the hilt, before pulling out to the tip and doing that all over again.

you squeal and mewl under him, eyes watering from pleasure and already getting overstimulated as he fucks you senseless. to think that only a few weeks ago, you were only able to fit two of his fingers. it all feels like a fever dream.

sukuna breathes heavily, his muscles glistening from his own sweat as he indulges in his reward, his reward of you, and your cunt that is finally nice and loose for him, sheathing him so nicely, coating his dick with your slick like the harlot you are. his laboured breaths stutter when your walls pulse around him as you reach your orgasm-- your head tilting back into the mattress.

cock leaking more precum into you, sukuna's eyes become half lidded again as he gets close to his second release.

"you're gonna drive me crazy," he grunts, as his tip reaches your cervix again and again and again.

his thrusts become erratic, and then halts as he busts another thick load into you, making you cry out pitifully.

"fuuck, fuck, fuck...." sukuna shudders, leaning down on his forearms, getting so close that you feel his breath ghosting against your skin, while his other two hands grip onto the sides of your hips. his pecs rub up into your tits and the tongue from his stomach messily laps away at your clit as he empties his balls into you, your pussy seemingly trying to squeeze him dry.

all of his eyes close up as he then kisses you like he's trying to swallow up your tongue. you whimper against his lips, doing your best to reciprocate, struggling to keep up with the pace of this kiss.

he breaks away from your lips.

"c'mon, not good enough. put your tongue into it more," he instructs breathlessly, with somewhat of a disappointed expression. your mind is too hazy from the intense lust but you give a short nod with teary eyes, which makes him smirk before pushing his lips onto you again.

you kiss him back the most you can, and he hums in pleasure, your tongue finally intertwining with his. it distracts you from how full you feel right now, even with only two of his loads in you.

his thrusts slowly start back up again.

"s-sukuna-!" you gasp, breaking the kiss.

"i warned you... it's gonna be a long night," sukuna tells you. he seems to have become more sound of mind after that second orgasm.

"give me more..." he mutters, leaning against the crook of your neck, and licking a stripe up against it, "my precious wife."

your arms wrap around his neck, holding him tight. he grins, and you feel it on your skin.

... eventually when his third load fills you up, he's running his tongue against the shell of your ear, two mouths sucking at each of your nipples, from the way he clasped his palms over your breasts at the last second.

you're trembling beneath him, tears now running down the side of your face, babbling nonsensical words at him.

sukuna leans back to run his third hand through his disheveled hair to slick it up again, and he grins at your state of overstimulation. he feels so good inside you. it was worth waiting and preparing you for so long.

once your orgasm subsides a bit, he finally detaches his mouth-hands away from your tits, making a line of saliva stretch between in the process. then, the mouths disappear. your body relaxes. but sukuna's cock is still inside you.

"you alright, my love?" he asks smugly, looking down at your state of fatigue caused by intense pleasure.

you mumble out something of a 'yes', and he chuckles. his eyes trail down to your now slightly pudgy stomach.

"you're so full with me, my dear wife. haha, it's quite the lovely sight," sukuna tells you softly, pressing his hand down softly against the swell of your tummy. you jolt a little, whining.

"sukuna... too full..."

he leans down closer to your face and wipes the sweat off your forehead, before bringing his lips to the same area gently.

"we can stay like this for a few minutes. rest up. but we're not done yet."

he hasn't even had the chance to sink his teeth into you yet. just a little more. you can do that for him, can't you?

Masterlist

[earthtooz]

earth do you have any spare alhaitham thoughts 🥺 thinking ab him a little extra hard tonight 😵

nothing but fluff, reader and al-haitham are engaged, so much banter.

"What do you think about inviting Nahida to our wedding?"

Al-Haitham looks at you incredulously, blinking slowly to register your question. You know a lengthy discussion is imminent when he uncrosses his leg, a habit of his whenever he needs to prepare for a conversation that requires most of his attention.

"You don't mean Lesser Lord Kusanali, do you?" He asks and you nod, as if it is typical to invite a god to one's wedding. "Dear, do you understand what you are asking right now?"

"I do," you sit down beside him, Zaytun peach in one hand and a small knife in the other, cutting up slices that you feed him.

"Then do you realise how ludicrous your question is?"

"I think you are overcomplicating it."

His book snaps shut. "Am I? Or is it appropriate because you just suggested inviting an archon to our very ordinary wedding?"

"You still think you're ordinary after overthrowing a corrupt government and being promoted by said archon?"

"You're crazy," Al-Haitham murmurs, shaking his head with an affectionate smile, one that he always likes to conceal by pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You poke his side gently. "Then we are cut from the same cloth."

"That does not diminish your madness."

Still, you persist. "Well, you haven't said anything in response to my suggestion."

"I called you crazy."

"You haven't said anything I want to hear."

Once again, he sighs, but the noise is too airy to hold any true malice. "Even if I reject your idea, you would personally go to the Sanctuary of Surasthana and deliver the invite yourself."

Instead of answering, you merely feed him another slice of the Zaytun peach, smile growing more and more mischievous.

There is a reason Al-Haitham wants to spend the rest of his life with you. The bouts of delightful juvenility paints endless blotches of colour on his plain canvas, carving a certain feeling of warmth and admiration in his chest that no one else has managed to recreate.

No one compares to you, and he's certain no one ever will because even after all these years of knowing and loving you, every moment he spends with you is as priceless as divine knowledge. Even when you ask ridiculous questions that perplex him greatly.

"How do you even deliver messages to the Sanctuary of Surasthana?" You wonder.

A kiss to your temple halts your thinking. "Let's find out another time. How did this idea of inviting Nahida spring about?"

You shrug. "I was merely thinking back. She's always been so thoughtful and kind to her subjects, even when the Akademiya hid her from us. Then the idea of inviting her made itself quite at home."

"I see," he hums. "Ever so thoughtful."

"Maybe it's a good omen for our partnership to invite an archon. She won't have to bring a present, her presence alone is enough."

Al-Haitham huffs. "My faith in our relationship exceeds that of a good omen, but I agree."

"Aww, you love me that much?"

"Do you still doubt me?"

"Still?" You parrot. "Darling, I've never doubted you."

"I'd like to contest that. Remember when you were vehemently against me resigning as the Acting Grand Sage?"

You feed him another slice. "It gave me bragging rights! Who else could claim that their hot boyfriend-now-fiancé was the Grand Sage?"

"So you prefer when I'm away at the Akademiya working tirelessly from dawn to dusk?"

"Well, no," you set the knife and pit of the peach down before throwing your arms around his neck, pressing yourself close to him. "I prefer having you all to myself."

Al-Haitham huffs triumphantly and you stay pressed close to him for a while, watching as he returns to his novel. He flips back to his exact page despite the lack of a bookmark.

"I'll be sure to send the invite to Nahida tomorrow."

"Alright."

Two days later, you wake to a message written in beautifully precise handwriting on Al-Haitham's blackboard.

'Can Wanderer be invited too? - Nahida'

© EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[hminnj]

Maybe In A Different Age

Senku/fem reader

cw: angst no comfort (i tried) ik this fandom kinda dead lowkey but I wanted to write this cause its so senku coded. Senku's an idiot (unsuprisingly). Not very good writing.

wc: uhh i wrote this in my notes, around 1k probably

-

Byakuya brings two strangers into their house on a random thursday.

"Senku, this is a close friend and her daughter, I'm sure you guys will get along splendidly."

"Ok."

Five year old Senku is harshly blunt when he meets you for the first time, staring at him silently as if you've never seen a human before. He doesn't have anything to say and it seems neither do you, so he walks off, deciding he has better things to do. Promptly ignoring the sigh and apology the older man lets out.

.

"So I got this new idea and I'm going through the basic logistics and research right now, might need your help later."

"I'll go get us some snacks and something to do while you work on it then."

Six year old Senku watches you dissappear from his doorway, absentmindedly humming while you head to the very familiar kitchen. Your family has been apparently busy as of late so he forcibly sees your face more often. You usually just eat his food, do your work, and ask him (dumb) questions. You're a friend now, he supposes.

.

"Hey dum dum, Byakuya got me new equipment, so I have some new ideas. So listen up."

"Course Senku!"

Seven year old Senku grins, you're always willing to help him out for whatever reason you have (something weird probably, in his opinion). In return, he always tells you what he's working on and his labor demands. So per usual, he excitedly gets into the details of the next project that he plans on working you and Taiju to the bone for.

.

"Hey Senku?"

"What?"

"I think I love you."

"Huh? You better not be catching feelings dum dum." He gives you a confused squint after hearing your words.

"Whatever you say." You hum

Eight year old Senku hears you say those three words for the first time, you don't say why and he doesn't know either. He thinks its rather idiotic, but he shrugs it off after you silently go back to reading. You've been picking up books more often as of late, not that he cares much.

.

"You're late for the test runs, Taiju and Yuzuriha already left."

"Sorry sorry! My teacher held me up a little later at practice today."

"Hm." His disappointed stare returns.

"Im sorry..? Love you?" You're sheepish with your response.

"How is that supposed to make up for anything? Now come help me carry this stuff"

"As you wish, princess Senku."

Nine year old Senku doesn't understand why you and Byakuya tell him that so often (or that stupid nickname sourced from his "feebleness"), but he moves on quickly to detail the results of the test and the numerous next steps. Much to his pleasure.

.

"Wake up stupid. You fell asleep." Senku (roughly) shakes you awake from your shoulders, poking at your face a few times.

"Huh? Oh sorry Senku, I guess I'm just tired."

"Well you're not gonna wanna miss this." He grins while looking up, expectant.

"Hm. Hey the moons pretty tonight yeah?"

"It looks the same as it always does. Is that poetry getting to you and making you sappy?"

You wait before responding, "Maybe."

Eleven year old Senku keeps you up on certain nights for his projects or for nights like these where there's a meteor shower. He thinks you should stop reading so much of those books that make you sound like Byakuya. You should also get more rest, he adds.

.

"Happy Valentines Day Senku!! Got you a gift, heh."

"Must I tell you again?" Senku turns to a usual sight, you waving a gift in front of his face as if he were a dog.

"I'm good I just wanted to remind you."

"Right."

Twelve year old Senku doesn't see the point in meaningless feelings or holidays for said feelings. Nevertheless, he takes the homemade chocolate from you, skimming through the card which contents include exactly what he expected (a confession of sorts, again), and placing it to the side. Ignoring it in favor of the much more sensible chemicals in front of him. Like every year though, Senku keeps it. He doesn't know why.

.

"Taiju and Yuzuriha definitely have something going on don't you think?"

"And you're bringing this up why?"

You pause, you know why, but you know he wouldn't understand. "It's cute... wish I could have something like that you know?"

"...For the last time-"

"I know I know Senku, don't worry I'll try to bother you less."

Thirteen year old Senku doesn't see you as much anymore, mostly because of your practice that your mom wants you to perfect. You come over less nowadays, a shame (for his projects obviously), but your presence isn't any smaller of an intrusion at school. So much for bothering him less.

.

Around 21:00 is when he hears the familiar ringing of his doorbell. "It's late, why are you here?"

"Got out of training not too long ago and wanted to see you before I headed in."

"Your house isn't even remotely close to mine" A raised eyebrow is all you get in response to your grin.

"What does it matter when I'm already here, but gotta go before I get scolded. Goodnight Senku, Love you!"

"You know it's never gonna happen, as you know-"

"Yeah yeah, 10 billion percent illogical, I know, but I can't let my favorite person forget can I?" You flash another smile.

"As if I'd ever with how often you say it, now goodnight."

Fourteen year old Senku closes the door after you've cheerfully said your bye and faded from his sight enough. The lack of noise is strange, now that Byakuya has "ascended like an angel" (his words not Senkus) it's much quieter. The usual noise of a certain two people is absent more often than not. He let's the silence of the house sit in.

.

"Hey, can you get me something from the storage real quick? Need it soon but that bonehead forgot when he came up here babbling about confessing to Yuzuriha"

"Of course. I'd do anything for you. Always here. You know that Sen."

Fifteen year old Senku glances at your fleeting figure. The nickname is new, for sure. And he can't say he dislikes it, but the lack of a certain three words with your departure is strange. He brushes it off to your usual forgetfulness and peers out the window at Taiju and Yuzuriha. Thoughts preoccupied until a bright green light overtakes his vision and he can't do anything but think into the void.

So he counts.

And maybe every once in a while you pop into his head like you always do.

.

Three-thousand and something year old Senku wakes up to a world where theres a lack of civilization, a lack of his decency, and most importantly, a lack of you.

You would be useful right now, he supposes.

.

Three-thousand and something year old Senku spends his free time trying to find you and the rest of the "gang" (as you would say).

He finds Taiju, he finds Yuzuriha, he also finds a lion-punching maniac, but there's no sign of you.

He's ten billion percent sure you survived.

Right?

The concerned stare Yuzuriha gives him as they part is ignored.

.

(Physically) Sixteen year old Senku celebrates this birthday gazing into the sky from his new observatory. It reminds him of a lot of things, but he can't help but notice how empty it is, it's eerily quiet.

He doesn't like it.

Senku wishes you were here.

His first real birthday wish.

.

(Still) Sixteen year old Senku breaks when he hears his father's voice again for the first time in ages. It's not his voice that gets to Senku. He's heard it plenty enough in his lifetime. It's the mention of you.

"Just kidding! I know it's you on the other side of this Senku! And ____'s there with you right? Please tell me you're dating already or even better married so I can have grandchildren. Please please please Senku! Although you can't really tell me that but-"

Senku stops himself from showing vulnerability in front of the village, and he also stops himself from pausing the record right there and then. Opting to sigh and curse his dad out as a cover up, his fist lightly punching the table.

"Damn you old man."

The questions from the villagers about who you could be are forgotten in favor of an angelic voice. Senku's quick to tune it out. It reminds him of you.

.

(Mentally) Sixteen year old Senku sits by himself that night. It's been a long day. The constant repeat of a certain melody in the background, more work for the science kingdom, and a few questions about who you were. They stopped after a few radio silences from him, feelings are hard for the scientist after all.

It's cold.

He wishes you were here.

It's dark.

He wishes you were here.

It's lonely.

He wishes you were here.

The day he can always guarantee you're there has long passed. You should be here, is what his mind tells him. You owe him for the past 3000 years of missed birthdays after all.

It's funny, in his opinion. That you were probably most-definitely always there. And the one (multiple actually, 10 billion in his mind) time he looks for you, you're not there.

He doesn't think its funny.

"I'd do anything for you huh..."

Anything but keep your word.

He scoffs, but it's directed at himself. He would never blame you for this, or anything for that matter, he can't.

So he sits. And he stays. Like you would've wanted him too. He looks at the clear sky like you usually do. And he notes how the moon is pretty tonight. Just like you.

"I love you too."

He's 10 billion percent sure he does.

-

Thanks for reading, if you did :). Sorry for any errors not fully proofread. Senku is so right person wrong time coded when it comes to romance that i had to write this even if its lowkey bad

[emmyrosee]

You’ve been… needy, today.

Normally, Kiyoomi is immune to it, if anything, he embraces your clingiest of affections and he takes them with ease, but today, for some reason, you’re nuzzling and nudging at him with every little thing, your eyes curved into a sad pout every time he looks down at you.

It seems like you’re insatiable, you’re on a craving for a fix you can’t seem to get, and he’s fairly certain you’ve almost cried at him a few times for that little bit of affection you can’t seem to get enough of, and normally Kiyoomi can read you like a novel, front to back.

Today, it’s almost like you’re a different person- no longer able to voice their needs, but plead for him to figure it out. Someone who doesn't seem to trust him, but still eggs for assurance and validation.

And he doesn't know why, but he can't pinpoint it this time.

He's exhausted every avenue, he's does everything he can think of, every question he could ask has either given him no answer or another needy little choke in your answer. He doesn't know, okay, he's trying, but he doesn't want to just ask you point blank because there's a part of him that feels like he should know.

There's also a glimmer in your eyes that tells him that he should figure it out.

Finally, for whatever reason, you stop.

Now, you're creating distance, and he hates this even more than you trying to crawl into his skin.

At least then, you still wanted him.

"I'm going to shower."

Your voice cuts him out of his detecting, snapping him from his thoughts as he nods encouraging at you. If he didn't feel like it would end in a fight, he'd cheesily ask if you wanted him to join you, but the question dies when you spin on your heel to leave him in the bedroom, alone.

He needs to know. He has to figure it out.

There's a buzzing of his phone that snaps him out of his pity party, and enthusiastic text from Hinata about the new jersey designs. Something about how they need sizing and promo pictures, and they should all get together to plan.

At this point, Hinata couldv'e texted him about anything on the planet and he would've gone. In his head, he weighs his options of staying here and leaving the jersey talk for tomorrow.

Or leaving, and letting you both have some time apart to sort out your feelings.

He's barely able to think on it before his feet force him to get up and make his way to the bathroom, popping open the door to call to you.

He just hopes this works.

"Baby, I'll be back!" He calls, voice above the rushing water.

"Wait- what?" You call back.

"Hinata needs to steal me for a while to talk about our new jerseys, I should be back in a few hours."

"Kiyoomi-"

"I love you!" He says, interrupting you before closing the door and making his way out of the house. He hopes that some distance may calm whatever it is inside of you,

By the time he comes home, he's surprised to see the lights turned on.

Typically Kiyoomi can come home at any hour and find you in bed, asleep, clinging to his pillow, but tonight, it seems you either forgot to shut everything down, or you're still awake.

Maybe if you're awake, you'll be able to sort out whatever happened today before going to bed.

When he walks in, the house is quiet. Scarily quiet.

"Nice of you to show up."

Yeah. You're up. And you sound bored.

The house is still active, but rather than make a dash for him to leap into his arms for affection, you're instead on the couch, eyes heavy and face sad.

After a whole day of trying to cling to him and his every move, now you're willing to be sedate?

He sighs and walks to meet you in the living room, and whatever angry look you try to pull gets demolished by the wobbling of your lip. “What’re you still doing awake?”

You turn to look up at him sadly, tears swollen in your waterline as you blink at him expectantly. “I missed you.”

He smiles at your words before shrugging off his jacket and folding it over in his arms, “I missed you too, baby. How was your night?”

“Quiet.” Your lips twitch as if you want to say more, but no other words fall from your lips. He gives you a small chuckle and scratched the back of his head.

“That’s… exciting,” he offers. You shrug. The tenseness in the room makes him want to throw up, he’s not used to this coldness from you- typically, you’re throwing yourself at him, especially with how you were acting earlier, but now you seem like you couldn’t care less about him. "Did you do anything?"

"Nope."

"Oh..."

"Where did you go?"

He shrugs, "Hinata and Bokuto wanted to talk about the new jerseys and the plan for practice tomorrow; then we got dinner and had some drinks."

"And you didn't think to text me? Not once?"

Chills run up his spine as your question comes with an emotioned voice crack, "I... I guess it slipped my mind... I'm sorry."

"Mm."

He swallows thickly, but his pounding head desperately wants to call it a night. “Why don’t we go to bed, baby?”

“You go ahead, im gonna get some water.”

He smiles and nods as he makes haste to the bedroom, happy facade dropping once his back is towards you. All he wants right now is to curl up next to you and knock the rest if the day away, praying that you're in a similar headspace.

He all but tears off the clothes on his back, dressing into far more comfortable wear as he goes to wash his face. Usually, you're right next to him, butting your head against him, nudging him to the side so you can join him, or youre sitting on the closed toilet seat just to watch him.

You seemingly have no interest in doing that tonight.

By the time Kiyoomi's done, his stomach churns as you're still not in bed, surely it hasn't taken you more than two minutes to get some water, and with an exhausted, and almost annoyed groan, he shuffles back down the hall to see you.

You... you haven't moved.

“Hey,” he mumbles, rubbing his eye. “How come you’re out here? I thought we were going to bed?”

“You didn’t kiss me today.”

He didn’t?

“What do you mean?” He asks, stalking over to the couch. You shuffle over to make room for him, but your eyes never meet his. “I kissed you so many times today, baby.”

“No,” you snip. “You didn’t. I know, because I’m so used to you giving me kisses.”

“I’m... I'm sorry, I guess I just-“

“And you barely hugged me, either,” you sniffle. His brows furrow and instinctively, he tosses an arm around your shoulder to try and calm you down. “Any time I’d reach for you, you’d look at me like I was some nuisance, and make me feel bad for needing the affection.”

“Of course you’re not a nuisance!” He says, rocking you both. “God, fuck baby, I’m sorry, I thought you just needed some more attention than usual and I just-“

“I’m not done.”

A wave of nervousness shudders down his spine, but he pulls back slightly to give you your room to piece together your thoughts. Had he really been that neglectful today?

“You didn’t even eat dinner with me; you went out with the boys. I was in the shower, I didn’t even get a kiss goodbye- you called out a quick ‘love you!’ and went off doing whatever it was you did tonight. You didn’t call, and you didn’t text, and I was home alone, thinking that I did something wrong.”

"No wonder you’re upset- I’m sorry, baby. Whatever I did today wasn’t a reflection of how much I love you; I just got a little busy, and I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ll do better tomorrow.”

You completely deflate. God, what has he done?

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he says sweetly, planting a kiss to your temple. “I never, ever wanted to hurt your feelings, and I’m sorry I did.”

You’re quiet. There’s a strange feeling of dread in the air. The longer you pause, the more he feels the anxiety settling in the pit of his soul.

"You really don't know why I'm mad...?"

He chokes on his own breath, "I... I didn't know you were mad..."

You hiccup in sadness, and he feels like he can't breathe.

The clock on the tv changes to 23:59, and you sigh sadly.

“Happy anniversary.”

You stand up without a word, letting Kiyoomi’s head fall forward along with his jaw. He looks at you in absolute terror, all while you face away from him, hugging yourself in an attempt to comfort yourself.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

The room is shrouded in suffocating silence, smothering anything Kiyoomi could say before he could even think of the words. Dark eyes dart over your frame. He feels sick, he could throw up on this rug right now, if he had anything to even puke up. Your shoulders heave, and he’d rather chew on broken glass covered alcohol before ever wanting him and his neglect to be the reason for your distress.

“I forgot,” he blurts.

No shit.

“I know you did.”

“How… could I forget?”

“You tell me.”

“I-I-I-I set so many reminders, how did I…”

“It doesn’t matter,” you snip, turning on your heel to stalk back down the hallway to your bedroom. “You forgot. And the day is over. It doesn’t matter.”

It does, he wants to argue. It matters, because you matter to him, and he abandoned you on a night that is so sacred to him, the day you crashed into his life and made him realize that whatever he was doing that put you on the road to him, was exactly where he wants to be.

He looks down at the clock on his iPhone, as it creeps over the 45 second mark, and he darts down the hallway. He runs like he’s being chased, like he’s on fire, and you can’t hide your noise of surprise when he bursts into your bedroom and tosses gangly arms around you and plants kisses all over your face.

He holds you so tight you could pop, and he sponges all the kisses he can over your neck and cheeks, and he hears you trying to fight back a giggle, and it only eggs him on to continue.

“I love you,” he pants. “I love you, I love you so much, every day I’m grateful for whatever being is watching us for putting me on the road to you. I don’t know who I worshipped right to be here, but I’ll be damned if I let my own stupidity sabotage that.”

“Kiyoomi,” you say, voice delicate and trying to stop itself from breaking. “You forgot. I just wanted... I wanted you to show up. You couldn't even give me that."

Now it's his turn for his lip to wobble.

You sniff sharply, "just forget about everything, I don’t care anymore.”

“But I care-“

“Clearly, you don’t,” you snap, trying to squeeze out of his grip. “I don’t have the energy for this right now. Let’s just go to bed.

“I’m not about to let this go.”

“Neither am I, but my demons need to rest.” Your eyes dart at his alarm clock, “yours too, apparently. Tomorrow you’re getting sized for jerseys- hopefully you didn’t forget that other important thing.”

Your words sting him sharply, even if he deserves every single one of them. He reels back slightly, gnawing at his lip as he tries to think of ways to fix this, fix the way you’re looking at him and feeling, fix the clear hole he’s singed into your heart.

You curl up into your side of the bed, pulling the blankets high, and he doesn’t know how long he does it, but he just stares at you. It’s like he’s waiting for you to scream at him, or cry, or do something that he should feel even more shitty for.

But it doesn’t happen.

You sniffle a few times, shuffle once or twice, and he doesn’t know just how long he’s been standing there until your breathing turns rhythmic and peaceful for the first time today. Your shoulders rise and fall, back facing away from him and god, he feels like such a loser about to lose the greatest thing that's ever happened to him.

Probably because he is.

You're going to leave him. You're going to see just how much he takes you for granted, how much more you're worthy of and how much more love anyone can give you- even if you still wanted to stay in the jackals, and he wouldn't blame you for shifting your love to someone like Hinata or Meian for a second.

A cold breeze smacks Kiyoomi in the face as, at some point in his spiraling, he ends up outside, keys jingling in hands and hoodie pulled messily on top of his head. His legs seem to know where he's going, even if he doesnt.

His legs take him everywhere that could possibly be open right now, there's no store with a three mile radius that he hasn't bought out between candy, chocolates, a few stuffed bears you'll adore, and three or four types of pizzas and sushi dishes each.

He doesn't care about the strange looks the cashiers and other patrons give him. He cares about trying to remember if you prefer sour or normal gummy bears. He cares about remembering if you like plain pizza or toppings.

He also cares about the way this pillow won't sit the hell up.

He cares immensely about the way the chairs from the island in the kitchen have no grip to them, and refuse to keep the blankets strewn across them up.

And fuck the knitted blanket draped over the lamp and top of the couch, because it refuses to stay the hell up and he's had to make at least four mad dashes to catch the falling object.

The fifth, naturally, crashes to the floor, and he can only sigh in defeat as he continues to fix the fort for the nth time.

"I'm armed," your voice yells from down the hall.

He chuckles, "no you're not."

You groan in annoyance before padding down the hall, and he turns his head to acknowledge your exhausted arrival.

“What’re you doing, Kiyoomi?” You ask, knuckling your eye. “It’s one in the morning.”

“It’s 12:23 pm on the east coast in America.”

You cock a brow, and he blinks simply before turning back to his blanket fort. He feels your eyes boring into his skull, but he ignores it. He’s busy.

“Uhm… thank you for the fun fact?”

“It’s 1:23 yesterday.”

“…and?”

“Komori is on the east coast,” he says easily, tongue poking out in focus. “Somewhere, I don’t really know where, I don’t know American geography. Which basically means a part of me is on the United States east coast. So, by the transitive property-“ he stands up and presents the messily made fort. “We still get to celebrate our anniversary.”

You smile sadly at his efforts but your bottom lip wobbles all the same, “kiyoomi, you forgot. Just drop it, okay?”

“No.”

“Kiyoomi, I’m tired-“

“I bought us some pizza,” he interrupts, lifting the reusable bags positively stuffed to the brim with other treats. “And i got those sour candies you like for some reason, but I picked aside all the ones you hate so you can just eat them in confidence-“

Your eyes glimmer in slight excitement.

“And-And-And I’ve got our favorite movies queued up, ready to go, but there’s a new playlist filled with love songs that I found-“

“Kiyoomi-“

“And god we haven’t danced around in months, do you remember the last time we danced? It was like… well, months.”

You giggle, and he brightens at the sound. He takes a soft sigh to calm down, “and I just… I know how bad I am at showing it.” He stands up and makes his way towards you, and when he cups your cheek in his hand and you mewl at him, he could cry from that alone. “But you are the only thing that matters. My only exception to any rule I could make. And I couldn’t give you the bare minimum, on the second most important day to do it.”

“Second?”

“If I forget your birthday, I need you to leave me,” he chuckles nervously. You slowly walk up to him as if timid and unsure, and when he opens an arm to ease you into a hug, he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as he squeezes you close. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I know,” you assure. There’s a comforting silence between you both, your cheek nuzzled into the dip of his sternum before you hum.

“Can I go with you to size jerseys tomorrow?”

“I’m not going to get my jersey sized tomorrow,” he says without missing a beat. You tense up in his arms, and before you can protest, he shushes you and cups the back of your head to keep you close. “They will live for one day without me. It takes four minutes tops. They will get over it.”

“But-“

“No buts,” he says, pulling back and looking down at you.

“But-“

“No.” He leans down to capture your lips in a kiss to shut you up, soft and familiar but just enough to keep you calm for him. You purr into the kiss and let your hands wander around his torso, fingers fisting the fabric of his night shirt tightly.

The fingers on your head gently fists the hair at the nape of your neck to keep you grounded for him, and the whimper you pant against him has him in euphoria.

“Thank you,” you sigh against his teeth. He shakes his head before pulling back slightly.

“Don’t thank me… not when I made you feel anything less than the love of my life.”

You chuckle and gently tug the waistband of his sweats. “I know you’re trying to make up for it, now.”

“You do?”

“How many men are gonna stay up, figure out the time zones in America and pick sour grape from my bag of candy just to try and fix a forgotten anniversary?”

He laughs and pulls you in for another hug, one tight and secure and as close as he can get you to snap any broken pieces together.

“I really am trying… I promise.”

“I know you are.”

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello again everyone! Thank you all so much for the overwhelming support for the last part of the "Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot" au! I've had so much fun writing this au, and I'm so glad that you've all enjoyed it too! This will probably be the final part of this au (for now), since I have more au ideas to share with you all, but I'll probably revisit this au some day! For now, I'm approaching two pretty big tumblr milestones, so I'm working on an extra-special au to post in celebration of those (and I won't give anything away, but I think that this new au may be my best one yet, so stay tuned)!

Also, warning, this one is a long post! Be prepared!

Now, onto part four of this au! You can find part one here, part two here, and part three here!

As it turned out, planning a royal wedding was no easy feat.

Merlin had thought that simply adding a quick and (hopefully) painless wedding ceremony at the end of his coronation would make everything go smoothly. After all, the castle would already be decorated, they'd already have all of the important lords in attendance, and everything needed for a consort's coronation ceremony would already be there.

However, when Merlin announced to the lords and the steward in charge of preparing his coronation ceremony that he'd also need a quick wedding and coronation to take Arthur as his consort, they reacted with so much shock and horror that Merlin thought for a second that he'd accidentally announced that he was ordering their executions instead. The only person in the council room who didn't look like death itself had just appeared before him was Gwaine, who took advantage of he shocked silence following Merlin's proclamation to start laughing so uncontrollably that he doubled over and had to grab the wall for support.

Merlin had expected some shock and pushback from the council at his decision, not... this. All of the lords on the council had gone as pale as parchment, some trembling in their seats with fear. What on earth...

"Sire," the ever-unflappable Geoffrey called out, jolting Merlin from his confusion at the state of terror that had gripped the other council members, "while such a marriage would not be unlawful, it would certainly be unprecedented. I'm not questioning your judgement, I know that establishing yourself as a strong ruler this early in your reign is paramount, but are you sure that this is the best way to go about it? I'm certain that the citizens of Camelot will accept you as their rightful ruler as soon as they witness their true power for themselves, so taking the former king as your war prize isn't entirely necessary to show your dominance over the land."

The lords grew several shades paler at Geoffrey's words, and the trembling councilman sitting next to Geoffrey leaned in to fearfully hiss something into the librarian's ear. Merlin watched with growing confusion as Geoffrey's eyes went wide at whatever had just been whispered to him, and he rushed to speak once more.

"Of course, if this decision was made as some form of revenge or humiliation towards the Pendragon line, that is well within your right as a conqueror, Your Majesty. We would simply advise you to take the disgraced king as a concubine, perhaps, instead of your official consort. As a ruler, you must now also consider the issue of one day producing legitimate heirs, which can only be borne to you through your consort."

Merlin blinked, desperately trying to follow whatever logic Geoffrey was using. Take Arthur as a concubine?! Had the old man gone insane?! And Merlin certainly wasn't concerned about heirs, since if he got his way, then his reign wouldn't last longer than this week!

Still, with most of the council looking like they were being plagued by waking nightmares, they weren't likely to listen to Merlin's very reasonable objections to being king in the first place, so Merlin just had to get them off his back until the wedding.

After a deep sigh, which made most of the council members flinch back with a still confusing amount of fear, Merlin addressed Geoffrey's concerns.

"Thank you for your input, but I'm afraid that my decision has already been made on this... issue. I will be taking Arthur as my consort at my coronation, and my decision is final. And don't concern yourself with the topic of heirs, that will be sorted out shortly."

Several lords choked on the air at Merlin's last comment, with a couple outright fainting at his words. Merlin's brows furrowed even more with befuddlement. What... what had he said that garnered such a reaction?! He was just telling them not to worry about it!

(Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Merlin, the lords had a very different idea of what their new king- a powerful, brutal warlord and sorcerer- had planned. They interpreted Merlin's intent to marry Arthur as an act of revenge against the son of the man who killed off so many of his people during the purge. It apparently wasn't enough for the mighty Emrys to defeat his enemy and leave him with nothing to his name. No, this ruthless new king of theirs planned on forcing the former king into a life of humiliation and servitude in the court that was once his own. To a king, that must be a fate worse than death.

These lords, who were some of the most active and complicit members of Uther's purge, looked at the punishment that Emrys had planned for Arthur and thought if that's what happened to the king, what's he going to do to us?!)

The days went by quickly after that meeting, with Merlin's time being filled with a never-ending list of his new duties and things that needed to be done before his coronation, not to mention organizing the coronation itself and the subsequent wedding (which Arthur didn't know about yet, as Merlin had been deliberately avoiding the dungeons after his last conversation with Arthur).

It took the better part of a week for everything to finally be prepared for the official coronation ceremony. The ceremony itself would consist of Merlin being crowned in front of the court (a nauseating thought for Merlin himself), the vassal lords and knights willing to swear fealty to him taking the oath of loyalty, and finally Arthur being handfasted to Merlin and crowned consort.

Merlin was, for once, thankful for the amount of work that he had to do over the days leading up to the ceremony, as it kept his mind busy and his thoughts away from the pit of self-loathing that had taken up permanent residence in his head. After all, what kind of friend stole everything from the person they love the most in the world and then turns around and forces that same friend (and unrequited crush) to marry them?!

Merlin had attempted to rationalize his selfish decision to keep Arthur in the dark regarding his plan to reinstate him as king by telling himself that if Arthur didn't know about the wedding until the last minute, then he would spend less time worrying about it in the long run after he was king again! Besides, if Merlin's plan worked, they would only be married for a day or two, so there was no reason to get Arthur worked up over that by telling him earlier!

Truly, Merlin was not being a complete scumbag by doing this, he was just looking out for his friend's best interests and mental wellbeing! This would all blow over in a a matter of days anyways, Merlin was certain of it.

Still, Merlin found himself anxious and pacing the floor of his room on the morning of the ceremony. He had sent a team of servants and guards to retrieve Arthur from his cell and prepare him for the ceremony, so he likely wouldn't see Arthur until he was brought into the great hall for the handfasting ceremony. However, he still worried over Arthur's reaction when he learned what exactly when was being prepared for.

This worry lingered in Merlin's mind and consumed his thoughts throughout the entire day and into the coronation ceremony, so much so that his own coronation seemed like a blur to him. One moment he was standing in the great hall in front of the assembled crowd of lords and knights, and in the next, he was sitting on Arthur's throne with Arthur's crown on his head, with the crowd shouting "long live the king".

The sound of it almost made Merlin sick. Those words should never be directed at him, but he'd make this right soon enough. He just had to suffer through this ceremony to appease those disloyal lords who had turned their backs on their true king.

Perhaps the worst part of the coronation itself was the ceremony in which the lords and knights willing to pledge their fealty to him took an oath declaring such. It was no surprise to Merlin to see those weasels on the council of lords pledging themselves to save their own skin, but the knights who showed up to pledge their fealty were... very unexpected.

Look, Merlin had assumed that it would just be Gwaine and a small handful of guards and younger knights that he had roped into his mischievous scheme swearing loyalty so him. All of the other knights with their wits intact would surely still be down in the cells of the dungeon, holding true to their prior oaths of loyalty and keeping their true king company.

What Merlin did not expect, however, was for nearly a quarter of all of Camelot's knights to take a knee before him and pledge their loyalty, led by a highly amused Gwaine, who was no doubt enjoying every minute of this. Merlin quickly scanned the crowd of knights, trying to take count of who all had turned their backs on Arthur and could no longer be trusted.

Gwaine, of course, came at no surprise. Many of those assembled were commoner knights whom Arthur had taken in, including Percival, but the giant regularly got pulled into Gwaine's nonsense, so this wasn't truly that much of a shock if Merlin thought about it. There were a fair number of noble-born knights in the crowd, including all of those whom Merlin had noted had a softer outlook on magic. And then, of course, there were a decent number of pompous, high-born knights who had never given a lick about magic or loyalty, they just wanted to preserve their own wealth and power no matter the cost.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the cluster of those knights. All the rest had logical reasons to side with Merlin, between Gwaine's persuasiveness, solidarity between the lower class, or a connection or sympathy towards magic, so they would be allowed to stay in court after Arthur had retaken his rightful throne. But these knights? These cowardly snakes had to be dealt with at the first opportunity. But how could he get rid of them without people becoming suspicious?

... Wait a minute, Merlin was king now! He might only have that title for a day or so, but in that time, he could certainly use it! (And he absolutely was not using this as a tactic to prolong this part of the ceremony so that he had a few more minutes of peace before the wedding began.)

Right, but how was he going to play this? He couldn't exactly just announce that he wanted those knights to leave because he wanted them gone before Arthur took over again.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the group of treacherous knights and noted how they squirmed a bit under his gaze, with even some of the people around them shuddering. Right, he looked like a ruthless and powerful sorcerer to them now. He could use that to his advantage.

As the knights finished reciting their oaths, Merlin held up his hand, signaling for them to stay in place. The knights did so, but a confused and concerned murmuring started buzzing around at this strange departure from the normal ceremony. Slowly, Merlin lifted his hand and pointed at the assembled group of knights in the back.

"You lot. In the back."

The murmuring died down the instant Merlin opened his mouth and was instead replaced by an oppressive dread weighing down the ornately decorated hall. If Merlin wasn't trying so hard to keep a straight, intimidating face, he would have winced at causing such a wave of fear with nothing more than a few words.

Hesitantly, one of the called out knights stepped forward, addressing their new king.

"Yes, your majesty? Is there something you require of us?"

Merlin held back the urge to smirk as an idea, and a very satisfying one at that, formed in his head. He quietly cleared his throat and put on his most imperious "Emrys" voice that he could muster.

"I can sense insincerity in your hearts with my magic. Just as you abandoned the previous king, you would also turn your backs on me at the first opportunity to do so. Do not even attempt to deny it, you know just as well as I do that this true. I cannot trust any such men as knights of mine."

The group of knights went pale as Merlin called them out for their flimsy loyalty, and at once whispers began fly in the crowd. Perhaps they were intrigued by this show of his "powers"? Were they scandalized by this public shaming of a group of high-ranking knights?

Either way, the knights immediately began groveling, begging Merlin to let them keep their positions, their wealth, their power, but Merlin dismissed them with a wave of a hand and publicly revoked their knighthoods. The murmuring of the remaining people in the great hall grew louder as the disgraced former knights made their way out of the hall, no doubt intimidated and scandalized by how quickly their new ruler was purging his court of the disloyal.

However, with the loyal knights having taken their oaths and the untrustworthy ones having been cast out, the coronation ceremony was now officially complete, meaning that Merlin could no longer stall what would come next.

Merlin sat still on his stolen throne, trying his best not to fidget with nervousness as Geoffrey gave some traditional speech that had to be done before the doors of the great hall opened to let consort walk down the aisle to the throne.

After a couple minutes, Geoffrey's monotonous voice became nothing but a buzzing in Merlin's ears as he stared at the doors of the hall, desperately trying to imagine any scenario where those doors wouldn't open to an Arthur who was filled with nothing but rage and betrayal.

All too soon, Geoffrey's droning speech ended, and the trumpets in the hall announced the arrival of the soon-to-be-consort and signaled for everyone of lower rank to stand. Merlin's heart leapt to his throat as he jumped to his feet, even though he was the only person in the room who didn't need to. Ever so slowly, the doors to the hall swung open, revealing... Arthur.

Merlin damn near choked on his own saliva at the sight of him. He had seen Arthur in a wide range of states over the years as his manservant, ranging anywhere from sleep-rumbled to solemnly prepared for battle. But this... he had never seen anything like it.

Merlin couldn't decide if whoever had been in charge of dressing Arthur and preparing him for the ceremony ought to either be promoted to Arthur's personal tailor or immediately banished. In place of Arthur's usual surcoat and chainmail for official ceremonies, which was what Merlin had foolishly assumed the servants would dress Arthur in, there was... a monstrosity that would haunt Merlin's dreams for the rest of his life.

Merlin didn't even know how to begin to describe it. The garment that the servants had no doubt forced Arthur into, as Merlin knew that he would never wear such a thing of his own accord, was somewhere between a set of intricately intertwined robes and a dress, which hugged Arthur's shoulders, upper arms, and thighs, highlighting the muscles there. Most of the outfit appeared to be made out of a rich velvet, dyed in a majestic royal blue that both looked entirely out of place on Arthur and brought out his eyes like nothing Merlin had ever seen before. And dear gods, was that lace on there?! And why the hell did the outfit need elbow-length lace gloves?!

(The servants who had been in charge of dressing Arthur for the ceremony had assumed that their brutal new warlord would probably want his war prize to look as far from a warrior as possible, in order to further prove that he had beaten the previous rulers. So, they selected a delicate and elegant outfit for Arthur in the hopes of appeasing their new king.)

Merlin swallowed dryly as Arthur slowly began making his way down the aisle with measured footsteps. The movement snapped Merlin out of whatever temporary madness the outfit had sent him spiraling into, and Merlin finally locked eyes with Arthur.

Merlin winced at the sheer amount of rage that Arthur managed to fit into one glare as he took another step towards the throne that was rightfully his. Merlin tried to give Arthur his most reassuring smile, but he was almost certain it only came across as a nervous grimace.

Just go along with this, Merlin tried to beg of Arthur with only his eyes. Their bond had always been one that allowed them to communicate without words, and Merlin prayed that their connection would hold strong once more and get his message across to Arthur.

Neither Arthur's impressive glare nor his furious scowl let up though, but he kept his pace towards the throne steady, which Merlin decided to take as a good sign. After all, if Arthur truly did not any merit to this impromptu plan, why would he still be walking of his own accord towards the altar?

Still, as Arthur grew closer and closer to the altar prepared for the handfasting, his eyes became darker with rage as Merlin winced. Yes, this would certainly be harder than it needed to be, but this had to be done to get Arthur back on the throne! Surely Arthur would understand that!

After what must have been an eternity, Arthur finally reached the altar and, ever so slowly, walked around to stand at a fidgeting Merlin's side.

As Geoffrey began yet another speech that had to be done before the handfasting took place, Merlin quietly turned to Arthur and gave him a small smile, trying to a least let Arthur know that everything was alright, that everything would turn out fine.

That little smile, it seemed, turned out to be the final straw for Arthur. Merlin wasn't even entirely sure how it happened.

One moment, he was standing next to Arthur in front of the altar, with the only sound in the room being Geoffrey's boring voice. And in the next, there was a savage war cry coming from Arthur, who was now armed with a sword, and a decent amount of screaming coming from the crowd.

It spoke volumes about Merlin's state of mind that his first thought upon seeing Arthur run at him with a blade in hand wasn't get back, dodge! but was rather that dress is tight, where on earth did he hide that sword?

However, Merlin's sense of self-preservation wasn't nearly as terrible as Gaius accused it of being, as his second thought was I should probably try to avoid getting stabbed at my own wedding.

Reluctantly, Merlin gathered his magic, ready to disarm Arthur and hold him still if need be. Arthur could stab Merlin later if he really felt like it, but Merlin needed to at least officially make Arthur his consort and heir before Arthur did that!

However, to Merlin's surprise, rather than trying to run Merlin through, Arthur instead stabbed at the wooden handfasting altar, sinking his blade deep into it. Merlin carefully kept his eyes on Arthur as the other man viciously pulled off one of the dainty lace gloves and threw it on the ground at Merlin's feet.

Dumbfounded, Merlin stared at the thrown glove on the floor and then looked back up to stare at Arthur, not quite getting what Arthur was trying to tell him here. Did he just really hate the outfit? Or was it this whole marriage plan that he objected to?

"Pick it up."

"Huh?"

Arthur nearly started growling, his rage apparently rising with Merlin's confusion.

"It may not be a proper gauntlet, since you have denied me such a dignity, but it will suffice for this. Pick it up, King Emrys. I challenge you to a duel in single combat for the throne of Camelot. You may have defeated my sister, but you did not defeat me! I am no prize for you to claim!"

Merlin simply blinked, completely thrown off by this turn of events, while loud shouts started erupting from the crowd. By the time his mind caught up to what Arthur had said, Arthur had taken up his sword from where he had struck it into the altar and was pointing it threateningly at Merlin again.

As Merlin's shock wore off and he finally understood what exactly Arthur had just done, he had to fight back the urge to scream into the sky with frustration as yet another one of his plans to reinstate Arthur as king had just been ruined by the obstinate clotpole himself. Couldn't the prat just let Merlin help?!

With his frustration rising, Merlin glared down at the thrown glove. While a duel would certainly allow Arthur to retake the throne, Merlin wasn't entirely sure how his magic would react to such a fight. Merlin would never consciously hurt Arthur of course, but who knows if his magic would strike out in self-defense?!

And, besides, formally accepting and preparing the duel would take days. And, in Merlin's opinion, this whole farce has gone on for long enough.

"No. I will not accept your challenge."

Arthur's face went red with anger at Merlin's refusal.

"You are just as much of a coward as the rest of your kind, sorcerer! You would not even grant me the opportunity to take back what's mine!"

Merlin bit back a frustrated scream at that. Arthur would be getting his throne back if he just followed through with any of Merlin's plans instead of ruining threm!

Merlin took a deep breath and sighed on the exhale, trying the rein in his own anger. He just needed to go through with this ceremony, and then everything would be fine.

With a quick flash of gold in his eyes, which had Arthur flinching back (and didn't that just sting?), Merlin turned Arthur's blade into dust had Arthur's glove fly back onto his hand, setting everything right as it had been before Arthur had pulled out a sword and all hell had broken loose.

"That's enough! I've been trying to restore you to your rightful position as king this entire time, and yet you push back at every opportunity! I am not about to let you sabotage your own destiny! So, here's what's going to happen!"

Distantly, Merlin heard the wind outside whipping around, like his own frustration and stirred nature itself into a frenzy.

"You are going to stand here, complete this ceremony, be named my heir, and then retake your throne when I abdicate! Are we clear?"

Arthur, who still looked rather shaken at Merlin's display of magic, scowled, but still nodded his head. Merlin, satisfied by this, turned back around to face the shocked crowd.

"And do I make myself clear to all of you?! There will be no more interruptions of this ceremony, and Arthur will take back his throne!"

The frightened crowd went silent at Merlin's outburst, seemingly relenting to Merlin's demands.

Merlin then turned to Geoffrey, who was still standing in front of the handfasting altar with the rope in his hands.

"Now, Geoffrey, I would greatly appreciate it if you would get a move on here. I don't want to wear this stupid crown for any longer than I have to."

The only indication that Geoffrey gave that he was surprised by Merlin's outburst was a mere uptake of his eyebrows, rather reminiscent of Gaius's signature look. Without further ado, Geoffrey tied Merlin and Arthur's hands together, declaring them to be now married in the eyes of the gods of the Old Religion.

(Merlin tried to ignore the hurt and longing that built up in his heart in that moment. How many times had he dreamed of something like this? But he never wanted it to happen like this. This was Merlin's dream come true, but it was all wrong. In that moment, Merlin didn't dare look at Arthur, too afraid of what his dearest friend thought about this grievous overstep of boundaries.)

Immediately after Geoffrey untied the handfasting knot, Arthur's coronation as consort began. The ceremony itself went smoothly, but Merlin's heart broke both at the sight of Arthur kneeling before him, waiting to be crowned, and at the furious glare Arthur gave him as he gently put the consort's crown upon Arthur's head, officially naming Arthur as his heir.

As soon as Arthur stood from where he was kneeling, applause broke out from the crowd. Someone (Merlin heavily suspected Gwaine) started a chant of "long live the kings!", which caught on quickly. Merlin winced again at the chant, not daring to turn and look at Arthur's face.

Still, Merlin reminded himself as he took a deep, calming breath, everything was coming along. Arthur was now officially his consort and heir, and all that was left to do... was the copious amounts of paperwork finalizing his abdication.

Yeah, no. Merlin wasn't going through that process when he could just take care of it here and now.

"Citizens of Camelot, on this most joyous day, I, King Emrys, abdicate the throne!"

Even though he had made his intentions clear only a few minutes earlier, shocked whispers flew around the crowd, like they hadn't truly believed that he would go through with it.

Merlin couldn't help the grin that was forming on his face. Finally, everything would be set right again!

"I am no longer your king, and as per the laws of the kingdom, the throne now rightfully belongs to your true king, Arthur Pendragon!"

With that, Merlin reached up and yanked the crown off of his own head, marched over to a dumbfounded Arthur and, without any hesitation, replaced the consort's crown on Arthur's head with the true crown.

"There, that's much better," Merlin whispered to himself as he gazed upon Arthur, finally looking like himself again, but he was certain that Arthur must have heard it too, as Arthur's eyes went wide at his words.

But that was a conversation for another day, as Merlin was now done here. This entire calamity was over, and now Merlin was going to savor its end.

Merlin turned back to face the crowd once more with an undoubtedly crazed grin.

"Goodnight everyone! Be sure to obey your true king! In the meanwhile, I'm off to bed for my first full night's rest since this nightmare started!"

And with that, Merlin merrily skipped out of the great hall, made his way to his cramped room in Gaius's chambers, and slept soundly.

Bonus Scene!

THE NEXT DAY:

Arthur: Busts into Merlin's room

Merlin, unwillingly woken up from the best sleep he's gotten in years: Ugh, what do you want you prat?! You're king again, aren't you?! Don't you have kingly duty to be attending to?

Arthur: Merlin you idiot, you abdicated the throne.

Merlin: Yes, and now you're king again. You're welcome!

Arthur: But you never dissolved our union!

Merlin: Huh?

Arthur: A divorce can only be granted by the same ruler who authorized the marriage! You know what this means, right?!

Merlin: Yeah, that you can just declare us to be not married anymore and we can all be on our way.

Arthur: No, YOU were the ruler who authorized the marriage, and now that you've abdicated, you can't dissolve the marriage! Legally, no one can!

Merlin, turning pale: What?

Arthur, looking weary: Yes, apparently it's some legal technicality that Geoffrey cited from Bruta's code. I've spent all morning arguing with him, but there seems to be no way around it.

Merlin: So... what you're saying is that we're stuck being married to each other.

Arthur: Yes, you buffoon, that's exactly what I'm saying! Now, get up!

Merlin, feeling incredibly guilty over this entire situation: Arthur, I'm so sorry, I take full responsibility for this, I never should have forced you into-

Arthur, cutting him off: Let's go. We don't have much time before the rest of the castle is up and about, and I'd rather us not be seen here.

Merlin, confused but complying: Arthur, where are we going? Why don't you want us to be seen here?

Arthur, blushing: It would reflect poorly on the king if word got out that he let his consort sleep in this dirty broom closet on their wedding night, wouldn't it?

Merlin, blushing: Ah, I suppose it would.

And that's a wrap for this au for now! I hope you've all enjoyed this story!

A huge thank you for everyone who asked for this continuation! (and holy cow there were a lot of you!! Thank you all so much!)

@magic-mushroomss @miyriu @whole-buncha-snakess @achillesuwu @aerismoon

@tidalwavesandthunderstorms @marki9 @isaidno @retro-wallflower @samwinjester

@lascienzadellafantasia @sugar-coated-prat-dragon @theoldfroglady @ryeallytired @mind-of-a-crow

@whynotreinventmyselfeveryday @likeapaperplane @odinjm @orliththedragon @aglmry

@caraspud @aostrek-236 @justaz @slippysalt @coffee-shop-gay

@the-king-and-the-druidess @theroundbartable @fanfic-library-for-me @linotheghost @scuttlingsleipnir

@guiltyscarlet @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu @247merthur @veryroadpartystatesman-blog @verxen

@lascienzadellafantasia @jareicanon @arrowlovesdragons @juliairian @thesuperstitiousoldelf

@lovermyme @bootprivileges @rem-the-moth @hippielittlemetalhead @ole-to-you-nonetheless

@lordmushroomkat @starchaos01 @reynaharmonia @anastasia0614 @starlight-crow

@wheneverfeasible @savlikesbluengreen @fuckingdeadinsidetm @notquitehumanwrites @purplesandwichtiger

@rocks-d-xerxes @olli-is-a-fish @luluzealand2565 @dangerhumming @tireddruid

@spiralingtowardtheabyss @mundaneone @anxiousdragoncollector @catface233 @bennedict

@elementalpirate4 @bertolio @vadis-protenus @chaosofbelievers @floating-on-avalon

@merthurogies @justaz

And, as always, thank you all for reading through my ramblings! :D

I'll see you all next time!

[yourejinx]

Wasted Times

CASSIAN X F.READER

Warnings: SMUT, little plot. A bit of angst. Minors do not interact.

A/N: a little something, not proof read. I'll be editing tomorrow. Comments are welcomed 👏🏻

You used to think he found you pretty, always sticking next to you or seeking your company, you're fairly sure he even flirted with you sometimes. In his own not-ever-gonna-out- right-tell-you-what-I- mean–way, but you could tell there was something there. That's until the middle Archeron sister came into picture, with her beautiful doe brown eyes and soft silky-looking skin, her pink lips and long curls. Elain was a vision. Azriel was completely mesmerized with her, and it stung like hell to sit and watch as he leaned into her ear to whisper the mother knows what, his fingers delicatedly brushing her bare shoulder. 

You sighed and drowned the dark liquor of your glass in one gulp. You were so tired of this shit, wouldn't have made it through half the dinner without Mor and Cass there. 

"Everything alright sweetheart?" Cass asked loud enough just for you to hear. 

"Yeah, I'm just bored." You smiled dismissively, hopefully convincing enough to ease the worried look he was giving you. 

"We should go to Rita's" Mor chipped in, just in time to save you from interrogation. 

"Yes! The three of us hadn't been out alone in ages." You agreed quickly, really needing any excuse to get the fuck out of the house. 

Cass chuckled. "Yeah, last time I don't really remember how we ended up at Helion's door. Rhys had to go get us." 

You laughed, a real sound this time and Cassian's eyes sparkled in amusement. He was always there for you, through thick and thin, ever since you met him. It was instant, the connection between the two of you, he knew you better than you knew yourself. Your best friend, your personal ray of sunshine. You had a feeling he suspected of your...affections towards his brother but you always managed to play it out small, just a friendly teasing. He wasn't a fool though, but kept quiet about it. 

"What do you say Cass, are you up to some fun?" You asked, a smirk tugging at your lips. 

"I'm always ready for a night with you sweetheart." He winked and leaned back in his chair. 

You weren't entirely sure if it was the wine you had been indulging in all night, or the fact that it's been a while since someone flirted with you but your cheeks turned a light dusty pink at his words. Body feeling a little tingly. It wasn't uncommon for Cassian to flirt with you, he was built like that. He pretty much flirted with everyone. But something felt different tonight, maybe the fact that you were feeling a little unsure about yourself as of late, given that a certain shadowsinger had started to pay attention to more... beautiful, delicate things. So you didn't question how the General's words had affected you. You let yourself enjoy it, make you feel good. Cassian always made you feel good.

You rolled your eyes at him and gave him a playful smile, taking a sip of your glass. 

Mor almost squealed in excitement. With Rhys and Feyre navigating their new parenthood, Amren and Varian barely leaving her apartment, and Azriel annoyingly pinning after Elain, there wasn't really much fun going on for your blonde friend. You had been over working a lot to be honest, anything to keep away from the house and the irritation that came lately when crossing paths with the shadowsinger, but you were tired and you missed your friends. So you finally decided to come home and a night out with your two best friends sounded esplendid. 

"Alright then, let's go" you stood up, pulling Cassian with you, Mor on your heels. You waved your friends goodnight from over your shoulder. Not lingering to see hazel eyes trailing after you. 

--------------------------------------------------------

"Is it me or is tonight more packed than usual?" You shouted over to Mor, making your way through the crowd of sweating bodies to the bar across from the dance floor. 

Mor chuckled, pulling out a seat for you and signaling for the barman to come over. "It's Friday, of course it’s packed. How long is it since you last went out?" 

"Two months, I guess? Since I took the job on the border" you shrugged. 

"So, almost three months," Cassian added. Mor sent him a smirk. 

"But who's counting, right?" She joked, Cass just rolled his eyes at her and ordered our drinks. 

"Aww, did you miss me Cassie?" You prodded playfully at his shoulder. A smirk stretching across your red tinted lips. 

"Of course I did, smartass, I didn't know the House could be so silent without your incessant morning rants!" He smiled. You smacked him in the arm. "Ouch! That hurt" 

"I didn't even hit you that hard, you're just being a big Illyrian baby." You rolled your eyes, taking a sip ro your drink. 

"You love me anyways," he threw an arm around your shoulder. "but for real sweetheart, don't take any more long ass missions for a while." 

A warm, real smile made its way to your lips. "Don't worry Cass, I don't intend to." 

"Good. Cause Azriel's been a real pain in the ass, I can't stand him anymore on my own." He chuckled. 

Your smile weavered a little at the mention of the shadowsinger. "Ugh, don't even start. But let's not talk about him, yeah? I wanna dance." 

Cassian opened his mouth but before he could answer, you were already tugging Mor towards the dance floor. 

The night passed by between drinks and laughter and dancing, you were currently sandwiched between Mor and Cassian, swaying your hips to the dark tune of the rhythm, arms thrown around the shoulders of your blonde friend, back pressed against Cassian’s hard chest. It was hot and fun and you’ve never felt so free and careless, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe the heat of the hands resting heavily on your hips was starting to mess up with your head. Either way, you felt bold and beautiful, a taunting smirk adorning your lips as you caught the eye of some male across the room. He gave you and Mor a run over, biting his lip as he made his way towards you. He was handsome, not quite as breathtaking as the males in your family, but he had some pretty attractive features. Sharp jaw and glinting dark eyes, and he looked confident enough that he had found his entertainment for the evening. You smiled playfully at Mor, angling your head to the male as if not to be so obvious, she looked over her shoulder, blonde curls like melted honey dripping over her back and flashed him a devilish smile. That’s when you knew you were out of the game. Mor was beautiful, ethereal. There was no comparing your darkness to her striking beauty, even the shadowsinger had favored her over you, some time ago. 

Why had your thoughts taken such a pitiful turn? You were having a good time right? you wouldn’t let your insecurities take root in your head once more, you were here to avoid them after all. Still, you faltered in your steps as the male gently tapped Mor’s bare shoulder. You couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, unconsciously leaning in on Cassian. Mor, completely oblivious to the downturn in your mood, gave you a playful wink and headed off with the male. 

“Nevermind him,” rang Cassian’s deep voice in your ear, “he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” He gave a little squeeze to your hip, breath fanning over your neck and causing goosebumps to erupt in your skin. 

“Doesn’t he now? He’s got his hands on the big prize tonight” you murmured. 

Cassian’s grip on your hip tightened, pulling you even closer to him, right hand splayed dangerously low on your abdomen. “He’s so beneath you, sweetheart.”  

You let out a sigh, finding comfort in the heat radiating off of his body. Cassian’s strong arms enveloping you almost possessively, hiding you away. “Cass,” you called him softly, half turning to face him, “dance with me?” 

He flashed you one of his signature smiles and leaned down to press a kiss to your shoulder, “For as long as you want.” 

You didn’t really want to think about why you felt so compelled to believe Cassian’s words, it was like everytime he reassured you, you got this warm feeling in your chest that spread throughout your body, all the way to the tip of your toes. You felt lighter, confident, pretty…even, in his presence. There was this sense of sincerity about him, and Cassian –your Cassian– would never lie to you. So you relaxed in his embrace and allowed yourself to get lost in the rhythm again, enjoying the way he seemed to understand your body better than anyone, smoothly following your movements. 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was around the sixth glass of fairy wine when Cassian decided that maybe you had had enough to drink, and maybe it was time to get some fresh air. He wasn’t entirely sure the suffocating heat was due to the way-too-packed dance floor or because you had been grinding down on him all night. If he had to be honest with himself, it was probably the latter. He couldn’t understand how did you dare think so low about yourself, in his eyes you were the most stunning female he had ever met, but tonight with that unfairly short, tight dress that hugged all the right places? You were absolutely ravishing. Full plump red lips so close to him, he had to refrain from kissing you until they were bruised and swollen. 

“You know what I really want?” you asked suddenly, pulling him out of the trance he had been for the last ten minutes. Your head was resting on his shoulder, eyes glazed and heavy looking up at him. He swallowed, you were definitely tipsy. You’d never look at him like that otherwise. 

“What do you really want?” He asked, shamelessly tracing the shape of your mouth. 

“A piece of chocolate cake,” you pouted. That pulled a laugh out of him, he wasn’t expecting it.  

“You’ve got chocolate cake at home,” he answered, still smiling at your frowning face. “I bought you some this morning, when I heard you were coming back.” 

You beamed at him, and Cassian’s heart made a flip in his chest. It was as if he had told you the secret of the universe itself. 

“Really?” you asked, smiling widely. He chuckled. “Can we go home now?” 

“Yeah, let's get you that chocolate cake sweetheart.” 

With one arm securely wrapped around your waist and the other hooked under your legs, Cassian lifted you up easily, as if you weighed the same as a feather to him. A small gasp escaped your mouth once he took to the skies, it never failed to amaze you how truly powerful he was. How disciplined and graceful, even. There was nothing brute about Cassian, despite some awful claimings from equally awful people. This sight of him, the wind in his hair, strong wings on full display, was nothing short of a masterpiece. 

As if sensing your ogling, Cassian looked down to meet your stare with a bashful smirk. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“You know Cass, you're my favorite person in the entire world.” you whispered, smiling up at him. 

His smirk widened. “Oh, you're so drunk.” 

You frowned, a little pout forming on your lips. “I'm not drunk. Just tipsy with no filter.” 

He chuckled. “I thought Az was your favorite.” 

Your frown deepened and Cassian swore your body had stiffened a little. “Why? We barely talk anymore.” You scoffed. 

Cassian gave you a sympathetic smile. “He's just been busy,” 

“Yeah, whatever.” 

And just like that your mood had gone back to the beginning of the night. Sour insecurities resurfacing in your head. It wasn't Cass’ fault though, he's been perfectly charming the entire night. It didn't sit right with you, this awkwardness surrounding you. “He didn't get me chocolate cake though, so you're still my fav.”  You tried lifting the mood with a tentative playful smile. He mirrored it, but still he caught your change in demeanor, having fallen silent the rest of the ride home. 

Even once inside the House of Wind, comfortably sitting on the counter top in the kitchen, eating a slice of cake, shoes discarded on the floor. You hadn't uttered another word, too lost in your thoughts. 

Cassian observed you intently, eyes downcast, hair a little windswept, full lips engulfing the last bit of cake. He swallowed. He didn't understand his brother, how could he resist when you so openly flirted with him? Had it been him on the receiving end of those heated stares shared during training, he would already have you pressed against the nearest wall, devouring your mouth until you couldn't breathe. There was no denying the beauty of the middle Archeron sister, but you? No one could compare to you. Long dark lashes, beautiful plump lips, the subtle sun-kissed glow of your skin… and those thighs. Those godsdamned thighs, you could choke him to death with them and he would die a happy male.

Yet, you didn't seem aware of the effect you had on males —and females as well— whenever you’d walk into the room. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, low enough not to startle you. 

“Am I not pretty enough?” You blurted out suddenly, as if you couldn't contain the thoughts inside your head anymore. Feeling embarrassed about how that came out, you averted your gaze away from him.

“Why would you think that?” Cassian asked softly, a small frown taking form in his face. When you didn't answer he moved to stand directly in front of you. “Sweetheart look at me, please,” his hand came to cup your chin, forcing your head up and causing your eyes to meet. 

“It's just..” you huffed, mouth forming a small pout. “I'm not exactly soft and delicate, my body is too strong and maybe I laugh too loud,” You bit your lip trying to stop the spiraling of your thoughts. “I’ve never been…courted, I've had sexual partners, sure, but none of them had wanted to stay. No one has approached me for a while and tonight I thought– but of course not, Mor was there and she's stunning like the sun! I don't know, maybe I'm not feminine enough, that's all I'm saying.” You shrugged, trying to downplay it. 

“That couldn't be farther from the truth. You truly have no idea what you do to every male in Prythian that sets their eyes on you.” He declared, looking so intensely at you that you couldn’t look away. The hand that was cupping your chin had moved down to rest on your waist and you sucked in a breath at the sudden rush of heat that act alone had caused to spread all over your skin. “You have no idea what you do to me.” Cassian’s voice had dropped to a low deep purr that had you feeling dizzy. “Breathtaking is not a strong enough word to describe your beauty. You don't think you're soft and feminine?” His free hand dared to trace a path from your hips up to your ribs, stopping just below your breasts. “I can point out a few soft and feminine spots if you wish.” 

His eyes had taken a darker tone and you swallowed dry, feeling all tingly where his hands were currently resting on your body. Cassian was beautiful,  perfect. You had always known that, but you would have never thought this male to have an attraction towards you. It was simply impossible, you've been best friends for as long as you remember, he had seen the ugly in you, the dark, awful sides of you. And in contrast, you've seen him take gorgeous lovers along the years.  So you never gave it much thought, contempt to have him as your partner in crime, your own personal sun. But there was no denying the way he was watching you now, such hunger in his darkened gaze; there was no denying the way your mind and body were reacting to him either. 

You didn't know when you had leaned in closer, or had that been him? Your hands were resting on his chest in a poor attempt to keep some composure but you knew he could smell the sweet vague scent of arousal coming off of you. Your face heated up, a faint blush all the way to the point of your ears. 

When you didn’t say anything he added: “D’you wanna know why no one dares to approach you?” His breath fanned over your face. “That’s on me, sweetheart. I can’t help it, whenever I’m around you and some poor excuse of a male even thinks he might be worthy to touch you, my blood boils in my veins and I become violence incarnate. I know that. No one would be stupid enough to defy me.” 

“But– but why?” you choked out. Too stunned to act cool. 

He chuckled, a dark, dangerous sound. “Why? Because I want you. Because I dream about you. Because I need you.” 

You tilted your head slightly upwards to stare at him, mouths mere inches away. There was such raw devotion in his eyes, it unleashed something primal from within you. It burned and ached more and more by the second, desperately wanting to be free. Oh, you wanted him. All of him. 

“Then have me. Show me all the soft spots you like,” you whispered. 

Cassian growled low, “I'm gonna show you just how beautiful you are.” And then he crashed your lips together in a hungry kiss. He kissed you deep and rough, hands tightly holding your hips and bringing you closer to the edge of the countertop. 

Your own hands came to rest at the nape of his neck, fingers twisting and tugging at the strands there. You bit down on his lower lip, immediately dragging your tongue over it; groaning softly, he grabbed handfuls of your ass, kneading the flesh there. Arousal shot through your body, all the way to your core, thighs clenching together. You were almost certain your panties were drenched. 

“This I like,” he managed between kisses, landing a spank to your left cheek. You gasped and he took the opportunity to explore more of your skin, kissing and nibbling that sensitive spot on your neck. He went lower, licking at your collarbones and you arched your back to give him more access. 

Rough, calloused hands slid the thin straps of your dress down your shoulders, exposing your breasts to him. Cassian wasted no time attaching his mouth to your right breast, swirling his tongue and biting softly at the perked nub. Expert fingers twisting at the other before switching between them. You moaned loudly for him, hips jerking, searching for friction. 

“These I like,” he said, releasing your niple with a sinful ‘pop’. Then his eyes darted down to your legs, forcing them open with his hips. Your dress had ridden up your hips, lace panties on full display for him. The fabric was soaked and Cassian growled at the sight. All for him. He fell to his knees before you, teeth grazing the sensitive flesh of  your inner thighs “but these,” he murmured in between love bites. “I love these,” The General moaned before ripping your panties off and letting his tongue drag a long strip up your folds. 

“Oh Gods” you couldn't help but moan out loud, fingers finding their way into Cassian's hair and pushing his head further in between your legs. Hips desperately chasing after that sinful, skilled mouth of his. 

He chuckled darkly and the reverberations caused pleasure to shoot up your spine, eyes fluttering shut. You were almost sure you could touch the sky with your hands when he sucked harshly at your clit, and all thoughts emptied from your mind. It was just you, and Cassian, and the mindnumbing pleasure coursing through your veins as he fucked you with his tongue. It was all too much, too hot, too messy. His mouth felt so warm on you, fuck, drinking up your juices like he might die of thirst. You couldn't get enough of him, how did you get so long without succumbing to his charms? 

Cassian groaned as yet another wave of arousal came gushing out of you, licking it all up, not a single drop to waste. Your taste was divine, he thought he may be high on it, head empty except for the carnal need to make you come undone on his mouth, and then fuck you into oblivion. He was so painfully hard, he could’ve just cum right there at the sight of you above him, looking all fucked up and he had yet to take off his pants. He could feel how close you were as your whimpering grew louder, head threw back in pleasure, too lost to notice the lone shadow that had made its way towards you. Cassian growled in warning, wings flaring proud in a display of dominance as he heard the light footsteps approaching. “Mine.” He seemed to growl on your skin, and you felt yourself tripping over the edge when you locked eyes with the intruder. A plea of The General’s name on your lips. 

“Cass please, I'm gonna–” your release barreled through you with blinding force. Cassian rode you through your high, never faltering until you came down. 

When you opened your eyes the intruder was gone. It was only you and Cassian in the room, he was smiling brightly at you, your heart gave a flip at the sight. He was still on his knees, lips shiny with the remnants of your orgsm, eyes still full of lust. He was so beautiful. You couldn't resist but to urge him up and kiss him breathless. 

“I take it, you liked it” He murmured amusedly, hands still roaming over your body. 

“Very much so, yes.” You smiled, leaning in for another kiss. He pressed himself against you, hard and ready, making you moan again. 

A sudden new wave of lust (and a tinge of longing) invaded your senses, followed by a tentative tug. You gasped into his mouth, breaking the kiss to look up at him. 

“You're…” you mused in awe, not able to form a coherent thought. His smile only grew wider and he dragged his mouth leisurely down your neck, biting softly. 

“I'm not half done with you yet, love.” 

[therantingsage]

Because I promised this, and I really wanted to do it anyway, here's a really really long-winded rambling dissertation on:

Why N and Uzi secretly dating since before episode 5 is genuinely super plausible and also stupidly hilarious /pos

Under the cut cuz it got obscenely long oops-

Idk where to start, so I'll just cover my bases: why people think they've been in a relationship already in the first place.

We all saw this scene:

And legit it can only be implying one of two things. Either A: this is his confession of feelings for her. Or B: this is him admitting that they've been dating for a while at this point. With the hearts it's pretty clear that this statement is meant to be romantically interpreted, and Nori's aghast reaction confirms that that's how it's being interpreted.

Obviously no matter the interpretation, N only writes that because he can't think of anything else to snap Uzi out of it and thereby stop this confrontation from ending poorly. And it works obviously so good on him for the quick thinking.

Two things that make me lean towards the 'we're dating' interpretation over 'confession' interpretation, though: firstly, he's not writing this to tell Uzi something, he specifically calls out to Nori before writing it. "Hey btw I'm dating your daughter" makes more sense than "Hey btw I like your daughter romantically" because if it was the latter, Nori has far less reason to be mad at Uzi about it rather than N. It's not like Uzi can control how N feels. But if they're dating, that means Uzi is partially to blame for that and Nori can get upset at HER.

Secondly, the awkward wording. Like it's really vague and without the hearts you'd have no reason to assume anything but platonic meaning. But these are words we, and him, have heard before:

...from Uzi, in response to a question about who she is and, by proxy, the nature of their relationship. She says it defensively, follows it up by telling N to shut up. N repeating her wording which, again, is a description of the nature of their relationship....but this time implying something romantic with it, it suggests the idea that it had romantic implications the first time.

I don't think it's far-fetched to say Uzi at least has feelings for N at this point in the story. I don't think anyone's arguing that that's not true. But the idea that 'hang out' means the exact same thing both times is what I'm arguing here. They're dating, but this version of N is a stranger to her. A cute stranger, as she says, but a stranger nonetheless who she isn't comfortable admitting to that she's dating him in the future to his face.

Backing up a bit, Uzi's reaction to Nori's reaction:

This is a clear and obvious parallel to the previous episode, when 'Tessa' says "Don't date my robot, please."

In both instances, someone gets on her case about the idea of them dating, and in both cases she doesn't deny it but instead defends both his and her own agency in the matter. No one is allowed to tell them what to do and Uzi refuses to let anyone try.

When Nori says it, though, she does seem to try and deny it for a moment. "I'm not-" She cuts herself off so we can't say for certain what she was going to say (if anything. it's entirely possible she started that sentence with no plan how to finish it, I do that a lot personally). But that's also because, like, she's Uzi. If this was meant to be a secret relationship, it would probably be her who made that decision. And like with butler N, she has no reason to disclose that kind of information to a stranger. She'd probably try and deny it whether its true or not.

As for when it would've started, after camp is the only big timeskip where we don't have much clue went on during. Cabin Fever is a big episode for them, and the three episodes that come after it are all back-to-back-to-back. The only time it makes sense to have started is sometime between eps 4 and 5.

And guys. Guys.

This, more than anything to me, paired with the idea that they've been dating for a while by the time the most recent couple episodes happen.....doesn't this seem so, so romantic? You could easily call this a love confession! So easily! It sounds like one much more than 'we just kinda are hanging out a lot idk' at least.

Like, rephrase that even a little: "Being with you makes scary things fun. Being with you makes me feel brave. It makes me feel safe. So I want to keep being with you."

And Uzi agrees with that sentiment. He promises to stick with her. And she laughs and smiles with him as he makes the scary thing she's been dealing with into something fun, something they can laugh about. The together line gets repeated in the most recent episode, directly calling back to this scene as well.

Like, just...AGH. In Cabin Fever he says it once as they're falling and a second time once they're grounded. The second time its a question, and one she eagerly answers with physical affection, which is super rare for her. In Mass Destruction its a statement, because he already knows her answer. Its a repeated promise. A vow.

Backing up again. Let's assess some interactions under this context. Assuming they're dating in secret. Because it paints so many things in a different light and basically nothing contradicts it which is fricken wild. This:

Isn't a sheepish Uzi trying to hold her crush's hand in a moment of fear. This is an Uzi who wants to keep their relationship a secret but is so in need of comfort right now she's willing to risk exposing them to get it.

This:

Her being so relieved because she almost watched him die but he's alive he's ok and she doesn't care who sees it because she needs to hug her boyfriend rIGHT NOW GUYS I DON'T CARE I'M HUGGING MY BOYFRIEND-

This whole scene. Uzi interacts with him so gently here. She's not gentle with anybody else at all. She sees him stressed and uses his own "you good?" on him and it's just so dang tender when you think about it. Because no one else can hear them talking to each other. It's just these two sending face texts and everyone else's focus is on the Sentinal so they can afford to be as couple-y in this conversation as they want.

And after:

Blushing because they like each other so so dang much.......sweating bullets because the other two can see them do this. Suddenly without either of them really thinking about it they're being romantic around other people and wow! That's nerve-wracking! Peak young love early-in-the-relationship behavior they ain't slick.

His tone of voice in this scene is gentler I think than we've ever heard from him before (Michael Kovach you are so damn good at your job). His loss-filled fury is cooled in an instant when he realizes how close he came to hurting his girlfriend. It's heartbreakingly gentle before 'Tessa' cuts him off.

And when she cuts Uzi off:

He looks like genuinely pissed at her. "Did you really just interrupt my gf while she was talking?? She's scared and you're disrespecting her tf is wrong with u??"

And like- the fact he was genuinely willing to off Tessa for her. Like he realizes there's a possibility she tried to get his gf killed for no reason and upon her not even trying to deny it he just kills her instantly. Because it's no longer a question of the universe or Uzi. It's a question of Tessa or Uzi, and its a choice his heart has already made before this point.

But here's like. The thing about all this that gets me. This is meant to be a secret relationship, right? Like nobody but them is supposed to know about this. And the fact that we the audience didn't have any reason to assume them to be an established relationship without heavy headcanoning means they did a decent job at that, right?

Guys. Guys.

N is terrible at keeping secrets. Like. Horrendously bad at keeping things on the down-low. Every single time in the series he's supposed to not spill info he like. Fails. It's wild. And because the relationship happens after "Inclusive reflexes!" that means that Uzi damn well knows this and still trusts him to try.

But based on V's reaction to the handholding in Dead End:

I'm honestly willing to bet she knew. She doesn't sound surprised, just annoyed that she has to see it. Which means N probably like, heard her badmouthing Uzi or something and got like way too defensive about it and she clocked him instantly. Because he's bad at keeping secrets. And she doesn't bother mentioning it during any of these episodes out loud because she doesn't care what these idiots do in their free time.

Can you imagine how many hundred close calls they must've had? How many times Uzi must've had to aggressively shush him or cover his mouth because he was going to say something slightly too sappy in public? The only reason we don't get to see the time period between eps 4 and 5 is because it would've been painfully obvious that these two dating is the worst kept secret in the entire bunker. I'm going insane.

Uzi fell in love with a proud himbo and they both know it. It's genuinely a miracle they didn't clue the audience in sooner.

[girlsoutlate]

this is my new account, so i'm reposting my 1 piece of work, hope you enjoy!!

readers thoughts are in pink, ever so light implied john price x reader, light questionable behaviour from men (not 141)

thinking about subtle sarcastic reader, especially to the type of man she'd encounter while working in the army. being a civilian and a woman many on base just looked over her, or looked too intensely at certain parts of her. but after months of working she's found her place, she's now respected by those who surround her. but what happens when some higher ups come and visit?

working closely with the 141 was no easy task. going from mundane paperwork to the flurry of action from a mission was difficult for you to handle, let alone helping them. you'd grown closer to them though, no more bouts of shyness stopping you from being yourself. instead you'd grown in to steady workplace banter with all.

unfortunately today couldn't be one of those days as some ever so important higher ups were holding a meeting with the 141, and since you handle the majority of the paperwork you were so graciously invited to attend.

you wished you had a little bit more time to prepare for this. these were important people, who wouldn't be nervous? apart from soap who appeared with a shit-eating grin at your office door, gifting you another surprise meeting. or gaz who could charm any conversation his way a bit too easily, with suave compliments and easy-going humour. don't forget ghost who doesn't even need to look engaged because of his mask, or be expected to speak due to his... unique personality. oh and the captain has been to countless of these meetings, so he can't empathise with you either.

but, one thing you could all agree on is that meetings were incredibly boring. for two reasons mostly. either the attendees were so dense it seemed they hadn't stepped on planet earth before, let alone a military base. or the subject matter was so bland you all wondered why there needed to be a meeting in the first place.

as your heels tapped hastily along the hallway you wondered which it would be. arriving barely on time with a tight clutch on haphazardly organised documents and a cup of coffee you opened the door, and had an inkling it wouldn't be any. you were met with two male voices. one high, clipped and plummy, the other harsh and american.

"-- that's what i expected from someone of her-oh hello! nice to finally meet you" the man at the head of the table said. an older, short and stout man with thin wire-rimmed glasses and a black tailored suit. a typical english man in an authoritative position. "ah, sorry i was late you'll have to excuse me. i thought to bring my extra notes, i hope i didn't make you wait long." you replied. "not at all, my colleague mr sullivan and i were discussing stories from our base". your gaze flicked over to what must be the source of the american voice. perfectly gold hair stuck down with copious amounts of gel, paired with lightly tanned skin and a too white smile didn't make it hard to guess. "civilians eh?" the taller man began "don't know what's up with the ones here, especially the woman we were just talki-"

"right" prices deep gravely voice cut over the grating one "meeting should start we're all 'ere". murmurs of agreement filled the room, and so did glances between the 141 that you didn't pick upon. however you did notice they were unusually quiet though you brushed it off, they were probably tired. "gosh where are my manners" the man at the head of the table exclaimed "my name is mr buckton and i'll be leading this meeting." briskly taking a few steps towards you he shook your hand roughly. being polite you attempted to make eye contact, yet his eyes were still looking straight ahead? lingering only on your chest for a moment he then made eye contact with you, a wide grin crept on his face. "come, your seat is next to mine" he prompted, gesturing you to walk infront of him and take your seat. as you walked infront of him his eyes now travelled further south. a small grimace shared from gaz to soap went undetected by the three sitting at the top of the table. mr buckton at the head, you to his left and then the captain and ghost next to you. opposite was mr sullivan, with gaz then soap next to him. with you all seated the meeting began.

for once the meeting was actually worth being held. despite it not being anything too serious you did well, even with your nerves. you answered questions and expanded in the points of others. as you suggested plans of action mr buckton steadily kept his eyes on you, while mr sullivan constantly scribbled notes down. soon enough the meeting was a breeze. well for about twenty minutes. across from you, mr sullivan was very inquisitive about anything you said. asking you to back it up or to show proof. not thinking much of it you obliged. it was a little odd but you knew your stuff and why not show off infront of higher ups? however the sentiment was not shared with the rest of the 141. who even asked for evidence about evidence? they understood wanting clarification on certain things, but it was growing incessant now. you were capable of your job and they knew that - that's why you were there. price especially helped you in the growing awkwardness; his job had never been so easy with you working underneath him. gaz and soap constantly gave eachother questioning glances, not wanting to explicitly speak up if their captain didn't. ghost was pissed he couldn't hide his eyes rolling as well as his scowl behind his balaclava. although they were growing increasingly annoyed the meeting continued, with more ridiculous questions being asked. professionalism was continued with a grim expression for another twenty minutes or so. hardly.

until mr sullivan basically dislocated his back by stretching in his chair with an exaggerated yawn leaving his cavernous mouth. "thought you woulda brought coffee since you kept us waiting for so long, cant believe you didn't make me some fresh". with beady eyes on you he smiled lazily. oh he has to be joking you thought to yourself there's no way this guy is real. play them at their own game. "why would i make more? i've already got some for myself" you smiled sickly back at him back, one that gaz has used on you many times when he's late giving you a report.

the table fell unusually silent again, and that's when you noticed it. the crackling of unease filling the air. sharp eyes from the 141 darted from eachother to you, to mr sullivan and back again.

"don't be so mean, i'm literally a dying man" he snarkily replied, eyeing you coolly. "one can hope" ghost muttered under his breath.

"i have urgent needs that need to be taken care of, won't you help?". mr sullivan continued, a slimy smile displayed as he noted the effect his badly hidden innuendo had on you. you felt your cheeks warm. he smirked at this, finally affecting you after bugging you the whole bloody meeting. fuck impressing him he's an arsehole.

"well, i'm sure you'll be alright by yourself. seems it happens a lot." you said back, indifferent. as soon as that left your mouth a strange sharp bark that hastily turned in to a cough came from soap. all heads from the table whipped to look at him. "pardon me" he shakily said, quickly taking a sip of his drink, watery eyes not straying from the blank wall above ghosts head.

"let's get back on track hmm?" mr buckton suggested "so cheeky, must be that time of the month". he turned to you with an eyebrow raised with an impish grin.

what. what the actual fuck. not only was this unprofessional, but who even though if that? let alone say it out loud.

price coughed uncomfortably and turned away. gaz and ghost looked at eachother in disbelief. and soap was finding that wall even more interesting. surely it could not get any worse.

"oh you all know what women are like, don't pretend. especially when they're frustrated" mr buckton let out a giggle "you know from work". you actually spluttered, eyes wide with disbelief. the feeling of unease in the air was now a full jolt of electricity. just as you felt price boiling with anger you leaned forwards to mr buckton. if everyone on the table wasn't watching you, they certainly were now.

"tell me" you said. mr buckton looked at you shocked, mouth gaping open. "tell me what women are like. you know i've been so airheaded this last week i hardly know my left from my right!". just to amp it up a little you slowly crossed your arms just underneath your chest, accentuating it. "you've explained so much to me this meeting surely you could explain this?"

the 141's eyes grew to the size of saucers, there's no way these two would actually fall for this? right? at this point mr bucktons and mr sullivans jaws were practically falling off. the latter was sadly the quickest to start talking 'so, when women start-". a smart rap in the door interrupted. a male voice said seriously

"emergency call for you mr buckton".

"oh, oh you must excuse us. i have to end this meeting" mr buckton declared "i simply cant miss this". messily shuffling their papers together both men swiftly said their goodbyes to you all. with that they just about made it out the door without tripping over their own legs.

a second passed after the door banged shut before gaz burst out in howls of laughter, clutching his ribs, soon joined by soap who could barely look at the wall for any longer. ghost stared at the door muttering who knows what under his breath and the captain sat there with his gaze fixated on the table mortified. he turned his head to you apologising profusely and asking if you're okay.

you just nodded vaguely and replied "men"

all likes, reblogs and comments are so appreciated!! this is my first time writing something properly so i hope you enjoyed it

[pingnova]

I met a quiet old man while browsing the plant books and accessories at the trading post this spring who asked what I was looking for. Most white people came to look at the jewelry and the expensive woolen blankets, so I guess it was a little unusual how closely I was examining all of the books on plants.

I held up a deck of native plant playing cards and said I was a forager, looking for more guides on local plants. He nodded thoughtfully and said there was a lot of medicine in wild plants. I smiled awkwardly, not sure why he was talking to me. But I reciprocated: "What are you looking for?"

He said he wasn't sure. He pointed to a few books on flowers, not necessarily edible vegetables. "They're beautiful," he said unsurely.

I nodded to encourage him. "Plants aren't just for eating, they're for appreciating too. We need beauty and nutrition."

Now he smiled, mostly hidden by his mustache, and told me he had a community garden plot he had tended for the past thirty years. Wow, what dedication.

Abruptly he says he has one year to live. He's at the trading post to find parting gifts for his son and grandchildren. He says this all very calmly, he's clearly been preparing for some time. And I stare at him because he seems so well and I've just met him. The idea of him dead is disturbing and shameful.

"Oh," is all I can say.

"I think this year I'll fill it with flowers."

He says it so warmly. I remember he was talking about his beloved community garden patch. I'm filled with heaviness and disbelief that he is soon dying and here wasting time talking to some random about growing flowers. But I manage to stammer something.

"It can't all be vegetables. Soft and beautiful things are important too. Especially in hard times."

Now he fully turns to smile at me. Again in my shock I think he's too content. Shouldn't he be raging? Crying, screaming, anything? But his mustache is white, he mentioned an adult son and grandkids, he seems well enough now and reasonably confident in his plan for a full season of flower gardening. Rapid-fire I conclude he's already done all of this and doesn't need it from me. Right now he's just discussing how important and sacred plants are with a likeminded young stranger.

He finally says, "Flowers are a soft landing after a long battle."

I choke out some kind of agreement so I don't accidentally cry. I wish him some kind of luck and awkwardly crabwalk away. I'm not really the king of social interaction even when its not emotionally loaded.

I bought my cards and books on vegetables and looked at the lone few on flowers he had been perusing. I'm in my twenties and don't plan on dying anytime soon, but how much time do I spend being as fast, efficient, and artless as possible in order to "survive" when that survival is never even in question. I have anxiety, I have ptsd, I'm an activist. All necessary and inescapable works of life. But this man had a season to live, death certain, and wanted to spend it growing flowers.

I went back to the register with a small book on flowers. When I'm hunting a forest to learn the native vegetables, I no longer ignore the blooms. If the battle is long, I want to grow flowers too.

[magnusunpopularopinions]

I'm not sure how unpopular of an opinion this actually will be but let's go:

I think people over inflate how bad of a person Elias actually is, and in comparison, treat characters like Basira, Nikola, Gertrude, etc much more softly. Don't get me wrong, Elias isn't the best person and his morals are questionable, but they're questionable because he hasn't been human in a good 150 years. His behaviour is in line with every other avatar we see, if a bit more held back violence wise. He only purposely hurts anyone if he feels it interferes with his plan (Which many Main avatars we see attempting a ritual don't do, like Nikola or even Peter in his day to day), or alternatively, puts Jon in an awkward position information wise. The way he handles Jon's ascent into becoming the Archivist isn't even that manipulative. It's less straightforward, yes, but he has his obvious reasons for it (Wanting Jon to Know and See and Understand without having it be explained to him, which would end with him relatively weak and vulnerable). The reasons themselves aren't Great for Jon, but otherwise, he handles himself in a very passive and socially acceptable way. He doesn't go through with doing anything about Not!Sasha, not because he didn't want to, but because there was literally no way he could have fired her or done anything to her without it being a tiny bit suspicious and causing a bit of an Archival uproar. Not doing anything about Prentis was his own fault, I'll be real, but I think he may have genuinely underestimated the amount of worms there are and I doubt he actually considered that the table may house the Not-Them, as he seemingly didn't expect Sasha to be taken. On top of that, him being all 'mysterious' during the Unknowing was just him having issues trying to figure out what he can or can't give Jon to help him figure things out because he genuinely can't Know these things due to the conflicting nature of the Stranger. Otherwise, all of his points of interest are very Avatar based. He eats, he works towards his ritual, and he works with others to make it happen. All things that other avatars do, that don't get overinflated into being fully 'evil'

TL;DR: I'm an Elias enthusiast and think he's just following his nature as an avatar, even if that mainly affects Jon and the archival team (Saying this as I'm relistening and nearly done with s4 lmao)

Thanks for sharing! Let’s chat!

I see what you’re saying, but may I also remind anon of… well:

“Apologies for the deception Jon, just had to make sure you were reading….”

and

[BPM]

and a couple other incidents I could probably come up with after I’ve published this.

Now, I’m not trying to ignore the ESSAY anon submitted full of evidence to back their point. I’m rocking with it- I’ll agree with you that Elias was simply doing his avatar job and withholding info, but I must say, I disagree with you on one point: Elias is a violent man.

Yes, his violence has a “purpose” but we must remember that even though Elias isn’t human, we are. The other characters (for a while and to an extent) are. The violence we do see from Elias is cruel and unfeeling. You can blame it on his avatar-ness all you want anon- and in fact you did an excellent job proving that he’s just an avatar doing avatar things- but the violence…. Elias is, imo, a very cruel being.

So, to summarize: I agree with anon on certain parts- Elias’s actions throughout the series reflect for sure that he is definitely not human. He’s an avatar working towards a goal. But I’ll disagree with anon when they say Elias isn’t that violent of a person/that the fanbase hypes up how evil he is.

In fact, I think the violence backs up anon’s point even further- the fact that he IS so cruel proves that he hasn’t been human for a while.

Hope that made sense- again, thanks for sharing and keep your words kind!

-E

-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

Edit: Hey gang! Wanted to add a few words here just to further state my thoughts on the matter and I’ll leave it with anon after that :)

Elias is a very complex character! Boiling him down to his avatar-ness or violent tendencies was not my intention, just my response to the gist of what anon was saying! I agree with a lot of the conversations being had in reblogs and replies!

I can’t say for sure what anon meant when they said that characters like Basira, Nikola, and Gertrude get “treated softly” VS Elias, but I do find it interesting they chose that set of people! All three women (feminine?), but not all avatars. I’m not sure if anon meant to do this- compare only women (feminine characters) or compare a mix of avatars and humans- but it is how it’s being received: with the focus on anon’s mentioning them.

In my own personal experience, I see quite a bit more about Elias than I do Basira, Nikola, or Gertrude, and when I do see them, it’s typically because they are with other characters. Basira especially.

I will agree again with myself though- Elias is a cruel and violent guy. I think he quite often is more violent than he should be (but that is the scary part- the fact that he IS so violent and ok with it.)

And I will agree with myself again- Elias was working towards total global domination and frankly, even if you are fond of him, I think there’s still plenty of reason that the fanbase may not treat him “softly.” He’s not a particularly squishy character.

(I do like Elias, he’s an interesting character and lots of fun to think about (I’d like to imagine sometimes that he lives a lot like Jim from the American Office TV show does and just deadpans into non-existent cameras when the staff does something or his printer runs out of ink or his coffee spills, etc.))

I just think that there are layers to anon’s thoughts and that there can be both an agreement and a disagreement on different points.

And please, even if you disagree with an opinion, try and keep your words kind! You guys have been a lot of fun to talk with so far and I’ve loved the discussions I’ve had with you all!

Thanks!

-E (again)

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

perhaps a bit of an odd question: so, when I'm scrolling tumblr on mobile, I have a habit of downloading most images i come across, so that I can send them to people who don't use tumblr, especially memes and animal photos. however, i also have severe memory issues, and I may end up forgetting where i got certain images. i know for the photo repository one of the rules is to not repost the photos without any modification- which i might forget, or forget which images on my phone fall under that rule. and while i would guess that that rule doesn't apply to stuff like direct messages or texts, i might forget to tell the person I'm sending it to, who might repost it elsewhere without being aware, or months after downloading i will just forget and use one of the photos in a post I'm making because it felt relevant.

this is something i can pretty easily solve myself by just blocking the photo repository blog, or tags relating to it, but I'd rather not do that because i do really like seeing the photos and all the info and stuff. and i would assume it would be an insane amount of work for you to add something like a watermark to every single photo, so I'm not really sure how to go about this. i like seeing the photos, but i don't want to accidentally break the rules.

You clearly care deeply about doing the "right thing", so, what that tells me is that you're not actually the target audience for that rule. I appreciate all the thought you put into this message. Let's talk about it!

I've been reconsidering if requiring people to get permission for reposting images is the best policy to have and I'd like people to weigh in.

My original reasoning was this: the more I can ensure that reposts are affiliated with credit, the better I can control copyright on the images on the site, and therefore have more ground to challenge any scrapers/fake accounts/AR groups that yoink them for nefarious purposes. The easiest way to do that seemed to be to have people ping and ask, with the expectation of saying yes almost all the time.

But there's a couple problems with that, I think, in practice:

People don't like emailing strangers (I forget this! I have done it for work for so many years it isn't uncomfortable anymore).

This isn't how the internet works. (Tumblr has a specific microculture that encourages crediting creators and not stealing! Once this is shared more widely on other platforms, I don't expect it'll be the same ecosystem).

It actually undermines organic spread of content! (You're less likely to make an excited post about a cool photo if you have to send a maybe-scary email and wait for a response). And I do want there to be lots of eyeballs on the photos.

Realistically, @nexus-nebulae, with the policy right now? If you slipped up and reposted something without thinking, I'd just ask you to add credit to the post so it directs back to the site. The goal of this whole project is community access and engagement - I want to you to enjoy the photos, and send them to your friends! I'm just trying to also protect it from the awful that a lot of the internet has become.

But, I'm also wondering it it makes sense to swap the policy to say that it's fine to re-post images on socials as long as they're appropriately credited and/or linked back to the repository. This isn't the policy yet, but if you're reading this please tell me what you're thinking.

Non-edited image use (like putting them in a scientific paper, using them to build a curriculum unit, or putting them on board game cards - these are just random examples) would still need to be requested; but that's an entirely protective stance and if you ask, my goal is to always say yes.

So OP, please don't worry too much. Enjoy looking at the animals, do your best, and I'll be happy. :)

[midnight-mourning]

Not Soon Enough

❄️❄️Midnight's DCA December Day 6❄️❄️

sorry for being so late you guys, finished up the semester and then went into caffeine withdrawl lmaoooo (i've been sooo tired my gosh) but! i'm not going to let a bit of sleepiness keep me from doing what i love. having said that, please enjoy!

Prompt: Sharing gifts on christmas eve because someone( could be reader or sun/moon) is too excited to wait until morning to give their gift. (I feel like I spent a while crafting a request lol)

Word Count: 1838

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

"Well, that was fun." You stretch, doing your best to suppress a yawn and turn to your left, "Ready to go to bed? Or well, recharge?"

Sun looks over to you, eyes wide and tone slightly panicked. "Already? But we just got started!"

"Sun, buddy, this is the third movie we've watched. It's getting late. Don't you want to be able to get up on time?"

Tomorrow was Christmas, and after the—slightly—eventful day you've had, you're more than ready to crash. Especially because now it seems the attendant may have forgotten—

"But we still haven't opened a present!"

You stand corrected, he has not forgotten in the slightest. Which you're assuming meant Moon hadn't either.

This had been going on all day long. For some reason, they'd both been hellbent on getting to open at least one present today. Why this started all of the sudden, you had no clue. Up until today they'd just been excited to spend the holiday with you, enjoying all the traditions and such.

Now though, you'd barely been given time to think outside of their questioning, and admittedly, questionable tactics into getting you to give in.

At first it was just asking nicely, moving into pleading, then when that didn't work, helping you with things around the house. Then, came the compliments. Well, veiled pleas disguised as compliments.

"You're sweater is so adorable today, Sunshine! Maybe I'll have one under the tree and we can match! We should find out." Sun would say, taking your hand and spinning you into a dip.

Hand to his chest, you pushed him back and stood upright. "We can find out, tomorrow."

At another point, Moon watching you from across the table, head in his hands, eyes nothing but uplifted crescents. "Your eyes are sparkling in this lighting. If only I had a way to capture this moment. Perhaps with a photographic device that may or may not be in the green box over there?"

"Maybe." You had said. "You'll know in the morning."

At one point, they both decided to make an appearance, towering above you in a partly dim hallway. One hand on the wall beside you, the other under your chin. "You know, Starlight, we think that someone as cute as you would be sweeter than this, maybe you should consider being just a bit kinder tonight? "

"Kinder how?" Your trying to joke but your face feels incredibly warm at the moment.

Their faceplate spins. "We think you know."

It was, a lot to say the least. And admittedly, bruised your feelings just a little with them using flirting against you. While you didn't think either was aware of the crush you'd fostered, it still, hurt, in a way.

But, you swallow those feelings of self-pity down for the meantime. This was their first Christmas outside the Plex, being excited was understandable, as was using any tactic they could think of to get you to give in.

So far you've held strong, but with this latest beg from Sun, you'd begun to grow weary.

"Come on guys, can’t we give it a rest?"

Sun takes your exhausted tone as playful. "A rest? That's the exact opposite of what we need tonight!"

"Well, what I need is to sleep so I can get up at a decent time tomorrow." You let out another yawn. "And I know a certain someone who can't stand to see outward tiredness."

Sun's rays twitch at your words, faceplate on the fritz for a moment before relaxing. He grumbles under his breath. "Unfortunately, you may be correct."

You're about to say something but let out a chuckle instead. Without thinking, you reach a hand up and cup his faceplate. "It's only the night, surely you two can wait just a bit longer, yeah?"

Sun's hand reaches up for yours. "I, suppose so, but—" He shakes his head. "Just one present! I promise that'll be it."

You groan, falling back into the couch. "Sun... Please, no more."

"You won't regret it, I mean it. We mean it." It occurs to you then he's still holding your hand and he squeezes it once. "What if we played a game? Winner decides whether we go to bed,"—he shifts his grip, fingers dancing to intertwine with yours—"Or open a present. Deal?"

You stare at the connection between the two of you, doing your best to ignore the heat building on your cheeks. 

You sigh, reminding yourself that this is just part of the game for him. You take your hand back, and relent. "Fine. What's the game?"

Sun's rays click to one side, eyes narrowed cheekily. "Tag."

The rules were simple, 15 minutes, whoever was still 'it' when the time was up lost. You were first. Which, you think they might've been trying to give themselves the advantage with that one, but they were wrong. 

The attendant was fast, yes, but this was your house, you knew how to navigate every nook and cranny like the back of your hand. Additionally, they were also like eight or nine feet tall, and trying to outrun you in a space that wasn't catered to their height was their first mistake.

Their second, was imagining that just because you were tired that didn't mean you were going to put up any less of a fight. Not to mention, you've had your heart—unintentionally—toyed with more than enough today. Therefore, you were as determined as ever to win. 

You go back and forth being tagged a few times, neither you nor they keeping the lead for long. 

You manage to corner Sun in kitchen, doing his best to shield himself from you by tossing your Christmas-themed hand towels your direction. You snagged his elbow and immediately retreated, heading for anywhere else inside your house. 

As your feet pound up the stairs, you hear the light switch click, and a low chuckle from down below. 

"Think that's cheating!" You throw over your shoulder. You think you can fake him out by the bathroom. 

Another chuckle, this time closer. "We had no established rules if I recall correctly."

"Oh sweet, then this is okay then." You snatch up tinsel from the railing and toss it at him, successfully confusing him and causing his limbs to become tangled with the sparkly material. 

Moon growls in irritation and you snicker, running off to find a place to hide. 

You find a spot behind your shower curtain, struggling to contain your giggles when Moon opens the door, flicking on the lights after a moment. 

"Sunshine, times almost up... do you think hiding is going to help?"

You keep your mouth shut, barely able to stifle your laughter. Thankfully, Sun relents, bathroom door shutting with a click. 

You wait another minute or two, then creep over to the door. Peeking out, you see no sign of the Attendant. You cautiously take a step out, still looking around. 

Suddenly, your wrist is snatched up, and with a surprised shriek you're spun around and then pressed back against the wall. 

The two of them, 'Eclipse' as you've been calling the mode, leans over you. Your faces are mere inches apart, close enough to—

"You're it." Downstairs, the timer goes off. "And time's up."

You puff out your cheeks. Shaking your head once, not believing you fell for that again. 

You sigh, and slip out and around the bot, waving your hand for them follow you. "Alright, a deal's a deal. Come on then."

Had you not turned around, you would have seen them falter for a moment, before following. 

When you arrive to the living room, you scoop up one of their presents, presenting it to now just Sun. He doesn't take it.

"Go on, fair's fair. But I am going to sleep immediately after this, just so you know." You yawn again, for good measure. 

Sun's rays twitch, hands fidgeting. "Are you upset, Sunbeam? We're sorry if we took things too far."

"No, it's okay. Really, I'm just, tired." You let go of the feelings building inside you, guilt overtaking any hurt in that moment. 

Still, Sun doesn't take the gift. "Then... why did you leave?"

"Just now?" 

He nods. 

You can't stop the faint bitterness in your chuckle, try as you might. "Ah, that. Well, you and I both know you two have just been teasing me to get your way. Which worked, to be fair. Just thought I'd save us all the trouble and get to what you really wanted." You hear yourself, and cringe. "Wait, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry—"

"Not true." Both their hands rest on your shoulders, squeezing. "We meant it."

Before you can say anything, Sun's smile meets your lips, kissing you fervently. Your grip on the present falters, and it falls to the ground after a moment, thankfully not anything fragile from what you can remember. 

You're too flustered to fully register what's happening until he's kissing you again, and again and you finally have to push him back for a moment to breathe. 

Gasping, you wipe your mouth, eyes wide. "Excuse me?" Is what you manage to get out.

Sun's fingers press together, suddenly bashful. "When we said we'd wanted to open a gift, we, um,"—he shakes his head, rays spinning quickly—"We actually meant for you to open one of yours. From us, both of us."

He reaches around you and presents a small, neatly wrapped box in silver paper and an expertly crafted bow. 

"This is, for you. If you couldn't tell. Please open it. It, helps."

Surprised, and still shocked, you take the small box and with slightly shaky fingers, tear it open. Resting inside on a small pillow is a necklace with a golden sun and a silver moon charm. 

Sun's tone is soft. "We know it's a bit silly, since we see you all the time now. But we wanted you to have something that you remind you of us."

"Oh, guys, this is lovely." Your hand comes up to your mouth. "Thank you. Could you put it on for me?"

Sun nods, and you turn around. Once he's finished you face him again. 

"Well, how's it look?" You ask.

Both of them answer. "Pretty..." A shake of their head, Sun regaining full control. "The necklace, we mean."

You chuckle quietly, then bite your lip. "So, this mean what I think it does?"

"If what you think is that we adore you more than anything, then yes!" He nods rapidly, stepping closer again, arms wrapping around you. 

You break into a grin, hands entwining behind his neck as he bends down. "What took you so long?"

"What took you so long is the better question, Starshine." Sun moves in closer, looking very intent on kissing you again. 

"Hey now, I think that's a bit unfair—"

But your disagreement is cut short by a peck to your lips, and for now, you'll let it slide. 

It is Christmas Eve, after all.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Thank you for the request @fishm0ther!! Sorry for being so late but i did have a lot of fun making it ^_^ had to add a touch of angst though for funsies :)

Masterpost link

Tag list (if you would like added, see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

@juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml

[the-greatest-8]

Obi-wan has had visions before, even when he was in the creche. It was a simple fact by now. Master Yoda had even offered comfort before, after a particularly difficult one. Obi-wan was well aware the risk of reading too far into them- because that simply wasn't how they worked. 'Always in motion, the future is.' Obi-wan knew this.

However- Obi-wan had one vision, one, that he hoped so desperately would become true. It always started the same, he would feel so light, so free- It was a comfort he has clung to in his darkest moments. He would be in bed, warm, and content. He would hear the sound of rustling next to him, before arms would wrap around him. Obi-wan always remembers how he sinks into, how he'd fall back asleep. That's how the vision always ends. It was never enough- not enough information.

Obi-wan wanted so deeply to know how to make that vision real. He knew it wasn't proper; He was just a man though, he tried so hard to follow all the rules- but oh, how he wanted. That feeling never left, even during the war he was in now. If anything, it made him wish even more, for a warmth to keep him grounded around all the deaths. Around all the sorrow after battle, Obi-wan just wanted to feel safe, like in the vision.

It wasn't often, he wouldn't mope, not when he was needed at his best. It was moments like this, however, when the desires in him felt suffocating. The last mission him and his men went on was successful, very successful. Morale was high, and so a stop into town to celebrate was made.

Obi-wan had been corralled into joining, as had Cody. It was enjoyable, even, he drank plenty with his men as they all laughed and told stories. Obi-wan was even sporting a buzz, he was happy, he had realized. Here, with his men, next to his loyal Commander. It made him pause for a second, surprised. Cody, vigilant as ever, took notice and sent him a look, feeling questioning in the force.

Obi-wan smiled at Cody, "I'm fine, Commander, I simply was surprised at something." Obi-wan said exasperatedly. Cody hummed, "If you don't mind me asking General, what was it?" He asked, and sipped his drink. Obi-wan huffed, "I just realized I'm enjoying myself, that's all my dear." He says. Cody smiled then, a soft expression that momentarily made Obi-wans heart flutter.

"I'm glad, sir, we've all noticed you've been tense." Cody said, his worry in the Force being replaced with a soothed, content feeling- and the gentle flames of fondness. Obi-wan almost stuttered, his face flushing slightly. Obi-wan felt warm, his heart raced while he worked on keeping his face straight.

The Force was entirely unhelpful, almost mockingly it made him more aware of how soothing Cody feels to him. Obi-wan decided then he was far to sober for this, and ordered another drink. He doesn't remember a single thing after.

Obi-wan awoke feeling warm, and content, surprisingly without a hangover too. He must have filtered his blood through the force before bed, he thinks distantly. He was sleepy, not entirely certain what woke him, so he just let himself feel. He was floating in soft feelings, he felt light and free, his troubles seemed all the more distant. Obi-wan doesn't remember feeling like this, not in a long while at least. Obi-wan hears rustling next to him, and before he can panic about another person in his bed, strong arms wrap around him and pull him close. "Go back to sleep, General.." a half asleep Cody mutters, before he fully succumbs to his rest once more. Obi-wan pauses, his heart thudding in his chest, and face ablaze.

Obi-wan decides this is a dilemma for future Obi-wan, and sinks into the embrace. He fleetingly thinks about his vision, but is unable to put more thought into it as he drifts off once more. A smile on his lips.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Authors note-

Honestly I'm not sure I'm happy with this one. Maybe I'll try again later, but I had to write my idea down or I wouldn't be able to to remember it lol. Hope you like it 😊.

[emelinstriker]

Soundwave & Shockwave ♡ Be More Expressive

Second X Reader one-shot to be dropped. And guess who's just been told that her wisdom teeth need to be extracted. Fuck. :D

[TL;DR] You have stickers and art supplies. And two lovely victims.

♡ ~ Fluff ~ ♡

"There is nothing logical about what you are doing."

"Shush'up, Shocky- I'll have you know I'm great at drawing!" You sassily stated as you continued working on a little doodle on his shoulder pad. You drew it right in your science lover's field of view so he would also remember you were there. However, your body was in front of the drawing to make it a bit of a surprise. So for the last few minutes Shockwave was only able to stare at your butt. Not bad of a sight in his point of view (literally), but he was still curious.

"That's not what I was referring to."

"I know, I know... But then you'll have something that reminds you of our relationship! No worries, it's easy to wash off if you don't like the drawing in the end." The cyclops ex-vented, deeming your response as logical enough to please him.

"And... tadaaa! What do you think?" You moved aside so Shockwave could have a proper look at what you did to his shoulder pad.

You drew an adorable little piece of his and Soundwave's helms, as well as your head surrounded by a heart. Shockwave actually felt a little flattered by your artwork, and yet he decided to play off what he actually felt.

"It looks logical", he commented. You pouted at his response. Again, he found your human way of expressing yourself interesting.

"Be more expressive, damn'it!" Suddenly your gaze locked onto your little bag filled with your art supplies... including stickers and sticky notes. You had a grin on your face as you pulled out a package of stickers and took out a few. Once you had a few sticking to your hand, you turned to give your Conjunx a bright smile before leaning down and lightly slapping random colorful stickers all over his chassis. If Shockwave had a faceplate instead of one optic, he probably would've given you a confused pokerface mixed with internal screaming. But here he was, simply observing your actions out of curiosity.

"What are you doing?"

"Sticking sticky stickers, duh. Here," you started as you grabbed a sticky note and wrote something on it before aggressively sticking the note just above his optic. "You deserve a DUM sticker for that question, mister!" You pouted at him before slapping his frame with more stickers. You finally decided to stop when you emptied one whole sticker package, finishing by putting a little unicorn sticker on your own cheek for a little partner look. Leaning back to have a better overview of your newest masterpiece, you hummed in satisfaction. The scientist was covered in stickers that looked definitely odd on him, accompanied by a DUM sticker over his optic. Good thing the note was so much smaller than his optic because otherwise giving him a little kiss on it would've made it a bit harder. "I love you."

After giving him the little kiss as appreciation for his tolerance, a certain Intelligence Officer came into the lab, much to Shockwave's relief and your happiness. You frantically waved one arm around up high, leaning back against Shockwave's helm. "Hiya, Sounders!"

As he walked over to the two of you, his visor held the image of a smile until he was standing in front of you and the bigger mech. The ex-gladiator raised his servo up next to you and gently rubbed your cheek with a digit. A pixel heart appeared on his visor as he did so. You giggled at his affection, leaning into his digit's touch. "Aw, I love you too."

You glanced at Shockwave's sticker-covered frame and smirked mischivously, turning back to face your other Conjunx' visor. The heart instantly faded and got replace with a raised eyebrow emoticon. He didn't like that look on your face and decided to leave while he still could. So, he slowly pulled his digit away from you and took one step backwards.

"Hey Shocky," you started as you pulled out another package of stickers. "Wanna see me make Sounders suffer as well?" His ear fins perked up in delight. He was definitely amused by your suggestion.

"Equality only seems logical, sweetspark."

Shockwave approached the shorter mech, already armed with you in his servo. You were smirking, menacingly. The scientist held you out towards the TIC's chassis. And before said mech could escape by moving further back, there was already a unicorn sticker slapped onto him. Surprised by your swiftness, he looked down at his chassis. You caught him off-guard once more when he saw you had already drawn a little red heart on Laserbeak's left wing.

That's when he heard rather evil giggling coming from his right.

Oh scrap. You were now on his shoulder pad, doodling away with a line of stickers already trailing up from his chassis to the side of his helm.

You and Shockwave weren't exactly the sneakiest duo, so this greatly surprised him. Then again, he must've been in some form of trance in that moment. However, there wasn't much he could do to stop you now that you already marked him with your stickers and drawings. Well, more like he didn't have the spark to stop you. You have managed to basically capture him and he was being a good sport about it.

The scientist had already resumed working on the project you had interrupted earlier, calm relief visible in his posture. His sticker-covered frame turned to you one last time. "They are your artistic problem now, Soundwave. Do not bring them back until all their stickers and art supplies are gone from their possession." His right ear fin flicked upwards by a little, as if he was smirking at your other lover.

You laughed at his words while the masked mech showed a smiley on his visor as he nodded. Then he decided to walk out of the room with you still present on his shoulder, having your fun with your supplies.

Bonus:

Shockwave approached Megatron's location, ready to report his progress, when the warlord suddenly let out a chuckle. He couldn't even look the cyclops properly in the optic. The DUM sticker was too much of a funny distraction.

"I see. Soundwave wasn't the only victim affected by this... sticky situation."

His ear fins drooped at his master's discovery, unamused by the joke. That's when he looked behind the grey mech and noticed Soundwave completely covered in stickers and lovely drawings. He had more stickers on him than Shockwave, and yet still held a pixel heart on his visor as he used one digit to pat their shared organic Conjunx, who was still on his shoulder pad, on the head.

[ Masterlist ]

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 19

Summary: Negan plans something special for Y/N, but they go through a few speed bumps along the way. Joel finds out about it through Elizabeth and he's not happy.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, Elizabeth, Peter, Tommy, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/157954594 Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Small Amounts of Smut (I think?), dirty talking, etc.

Notes: It's been a while since I updated this, I'm sorry. I've just really had a lot going on. I'll do my best to get the final chapters up ASAP.

Wear something nice. That was the only direction that Y/N was given this morning when Negan asked her to meet him at his mother’s home at a certain time today. She listened. Invited Rosita over to help her pick out a dress before Rosita had to take off to go be with Siddiq’s family. Walking up to the door, she felt a little ridiculous wearing this considering how cold it actually was outside. After the storm yesterday, there was so much snow on the ground when she woke up. With the help of Peter, she was able to shovel it all up, but it took a long time. So she was thankful she could even get here today as it was.

Elizabeth was quick to take off as soon as she could this morning and she was very hush-hush about things. When Y/N asked her where she was going, Elizabeth didn’t want to tell her mother. Which was strange because Elizabeth was never really like that. Originally, she expected Joel to come pick his laptop up from her, but he hadn’t and she just assumed that was his way of still giving her space.

The front door to Negan’s mother’s home opened as she made her way carefully up the sidewalk. When her eyes lifted, she saw that it was Elizabeth walking out the door and it had Y/N coming to a quick stop. Closing the door behind her, Elizabeth let out a shocked sound when she saw Y/N, “You’re early.”

“What are you doing here?” Y/N questioned her daughter who looked back at the door like she was looking for some kind of answer. Shaking her head from side to side, Elizabeth threw her hands up and couldn’t think of an answer quick enough. “Elizabeth?”

“I was helping Negan with something,” Elizabeth explained pointing back at the house, her eyes avoiding Y/N. Rocking back and forth on her feet Elizabeth looked guilty of something that she didn’t want to admit to. “Listen, mom…I have to go to dad’s house. Peter and I are supposed to go with dad, Uncle Tommy and Maria tonight to that one subdivision that goes crazy with lights. It’s a tradition for us to walk around it every year. You know that.” 

“What were you helping Negan with?” Y/N was actually curious since this wasn’t something Negan talked to her about nor was it something that Peter seemed to know about earlier when she dropped him off at Joel’s place right before this.

“I…” Elizabeth paused, looking over her shoulder once more and letting out a wince. “I can’t tell you, but after tonight? We can talk about it all you want.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Y/N wondered with Elizabeth moving around her and starting to back step toward Joel’s home. “Why are you avoiding me?”

“Because I have to,” Elizabeth held her hands up causing her mom’s face to scrunch up in confusion. “I love you mom, I just really have to get to dad’s place…”

Elizabeth couldn’t walk away fast enough to get to Joel’s home and it surprised Y/N with the interaction that they just had. It was very odd behavior from her daughter.

Confusion flooded her veins when she started to walk back up toward the front door where she was met by Negan’s mother who looked incredibly happy to see her there. She told her that Negan was in his old bedroom getting dressed to go out with her. Walking down the hallway, things just felt strange. Very strange.

Pushing open the door to Negan’s old bedroom, Y/N saw Negan standing at the side of the bed. His black button-down shirt and his suit jacket were laid out on top of it. Hooking his belt together, Negan looked wet and like he had just taken a shower. Gazing over his shoulder, Negan offered up a weak smile, but that smile slowly faded to a frown with the way that Y/N was looking at him.

“Hello beautiful,” Negan turned toward Y/N who swallowed down hard. His chest was still damp from his shower drawing attention to the lines of his slender abdomen and it had her throat tensing up. “What’s that look for?”

“Why are you wet?” she blurt out with a judgmental expression. Why was that the question she asked? Obviously, she knew the answer.

“I just took a shower,” Negan pointed toward the bathroom that was in his bedroom and clearly he thought that was obvious too. Lowering his hand, he caressed it in over his abdomen dragging his fingertips through the wet curls of hair. Tipping his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowed and the way she was looking at him provoked him to scoff. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Are you fucking my daughter?” she blurt out, letting her worst fears come to light. Immediately a cough escaped Negan’s lips, his hazel eyes growing wide with the mere suggestion.

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Negan seemed both shocked and sickened by her question. That was a relief at least, but it was a question she couldn’t help but ask with Elizabeth acting so weird about things. “She’s seventeen years old Y/N. What the fuck?”

“You can’t blame me with this one. It’s a little shady if you ask me,” she stressed to Negan who laughed uncomfortably as he stood before her. “What else am I supposed to think? This morning she wouldn’t tell me where she was going. I come to your mother’s house to find her sneaking out when I get here. And she can’t tell me why she’s here with you. I’ve never had her avoid answering a question. And then I come in here to find you half naked, getting dressed after taking a shower.”

Pointing to Negan, she held her hand out to draw attention to his body.

“This is the first time I saw some of Joel’s negative personality in you,” Negan snickered stepping forward to reach out to caress his hands in over her shoulders. “I was in the shower so I didn’t stink and my mother was feeding your daughter. You’re welcome to go ask my mother if you’d like. You can also ask her if she was with us the whole day so you know that we weren’t alone. Fuck, I look at Liz like a family member already. How fucking sick do you think I am?”

Embarrassment flooded her body with her face growing incredibly hot that she just accused her boyfriend of sleeping with her daughter. Negan didn’t know whether to be amused or nervous with her questioning him like that, “I’m sorry Negan.”

“No, it’s okay. Mama bear came out and she was ready to go,” Negan swept his thumb in over Y/N’s jawline, getting her to relax before him. “I would fully expect you to beat the shit outta me if I did that. I’d beat the shit outta me if I did that.”

“I’m sorry Negan,” she apologized realizing how stupid that question actually was when she thought about everything. “I don’t know why I got that way. Elizabeth was just acting really weird when I saw her leaving here.”

“It will all make sense later,” Negan assured her with an amused rumble of a sound. Playfully she hit at the center of his chest causing him to snort. “Full transparency? I did have sex with your ex-husband last night though.”

“Makes sense,” she stammered under her breath, shaking her head as she spoke. “I was supposed to see Joel today for him to pick up his laptop and he never came. In fact, he hasn’t interacted with me at all. So I’m guessing he’s panicking about the two of you sleeping together?”

“I don’t think that’s it,” Negan reached for her hands, caressing his thumbs over the back of them. “I think he’s trying to respect you asking for space. And he’s probably waiting for you to tell him that it’s okay for him to come back around. He was upset that he hurt you as bad as he did.”

“Wow. So he told you about that?” she inquired, feeling a lump growing at the center of her throat when Negan’s fingers hooked with hers. Unhurriedly, Negan led her over toward the bed with him so they could both sit on the edge of it to talk. “What did he tell you exactly?”

“Uhm…” Negan licked his lips, tipping his head from side to side. “Everything?”

“Everything?” she repeated, shock flooding into her features. “So you know that…”

“Him and Lucille were sending dirty e-mails and videos to each other? Yeah. He told me,” Negan filled in the blanks for her to let her know that she didn’t have to hold all that in from him and worry about what he did and did not know.

“Wow, I can’t believe he did that,” she admitted, a pain flooding into her chest at the idea that he came to Negan last night to tell him. “I asked him not to tell you about that. Of course he told you.”

“You asked him not to tell me?” Negan repeated what she had said, his head tipping to the side like that of a confused puppy dog. “Why?”

“I didn’t think you’d handle it well,” she was honest, having a hard time looking at Negan when she thought about everything. “Every time I tell him to do something, he does the opposite.”

“In this case, I agree with what he did,” Negan opened up to her about the situation, lifting his hand to grasp her chin between his thumb and index finger. Getting her to look at him, Negan offered up another smile that made a breath escape her throat. “He told me that he wanted to be a better man. I’ve been very open with him about the fact that I tell you everything. And I think that’s something he inspires to be like. Prove that he’s not like he used to be. I respect that. Although, I did hit him really hard. One firm punch to the face. Just to get him back for the other night when he hit me when he was drunk and for that. I do think I might have broken his nose.”

“You broke his nose?” she pushed drawing Negan’s eyebrows to bounce up.

“There is a cut on the bridge of his nose right here,” Negan pointed to what he remembered waking up to this morning. “And a little bit of bruising. I don’t think it was a horrible break, he still looks pretty. Just a little beaten up. He got it after one hit.”

“And he didn’t fight back? I would think Joel would take that as advantage to have an all-out brawl between the two of you,” she knew that Joel would have jumped at the opportunity to fight Negan recently.

“I think he felt bad and thought he deserved it. So he took it,” Negan explained what happened. After Joel got hit, he did bleed significantly which was something that he left out when explaining to Y/N, but it was a nose. That was normal. “Afterwards, we ate some canned ravioli and watched a football game together.”

A silence followed when Negan dropped his hand and let out a long exhale, “I was irritated, but at the end of the day? I was an awful husband for a short period of time. Compared to what I did? They were just being stupid with one another. It was like watching porn.”

“It’s a little bit more extreme than that,” she corrected Negan who simply shrugged his shoulders. “It was.”

“Was it?” Negan responded, biting down on his bottom lip. “They didn’t have sex. They never intended on having sex.”

Shaking her head, she lowered her stare from Negan and didn’t like what she was hearing, “I took a naughty photoshoot that went out to magazines all across the world. Most of the world has seen my ass. And while yes, my balls and my dick were hidden…anyone can find me in just about nothing.”

“That’s not the same thing,” she defended, her face scrunching up when she looked to him again.

“Y/N,” Negan paused, his hazel eyes narrowing when he reached out to brush her hair behind her ear. “If you had showed up at my hotel room while I was married, I would have had sex with you in an instant. Joel isn’t wrong about that. Given the opportunity, I would have had an affair with you. And I would have felt bad, but I still would have done it. Because I fucked people that I didn’t care about. I was no good Y/N. What they were doing was finding comfort in someone familiar. And men love showing their cocks. Trust me. Even if they don’t have something to be proud of.”

“I feel like you’re giving them an excuse,” she stressed to Negan who reached out to place his hand in over her knee. “They had an emotional relationship through these e-mails Negan. He sent her a video of him jerking off for her.”

“Was it hot?” he blurt out, grunting when she smacked at the back of his head. Playfully nudging her, he shrugged his shoulders and couldn’t help but snort in laughter. “It was over four years ago Y/N. And…I really can’t judge. Plus, let’s not pretend we’re entirely innocent.”

“I never cheated on Joel,” she defended herself, placing her hand in over her chest to fight him on it with Negan’s eyebrows bouncing up. “I never sent out naughty photos to anyone. Nor did I have an emotional relationship with anyone.”

“You’re right, you never cheated while you were married,” Negan agreed with her, tipping his head from side to side. “There is one thing both you and I never told Joel. So while I pride myself on being honest…”

“I don’t know what you’re…” she paused, her head dropping down when she realized what Negan was talking about. “Shit…”

“And there it is,” Negan snapped his fingers together, sucking at his bottom lip when he gave her a firm nod. “I’ll set a scene for you. I had been with Lucille six months, you had been with Joel however long you were. It was raining, you crawled out of your window and came to mine…”

“That’s not the same thing,” she suggested, with Negan’s head tipping to the side. “You hadn’t talked to me in a long time. I missed you and I wanted my best friend back. We were teens. And we didn’t have sex.”

 “Because my mother walked in,” Negan reminded her, his head shaking when he pointed toward the door. “If she hadn’t, you know just as much as I do that we would have had sex. You were soaking wet, I gave you some of my pajamas. You were crying, we started kissing, then we had no clothes on and we were in my bed…”

“I forgot about that,” she exhaled loudly, slouching forward resting her elbows on her knees when Negan reminded her of something that happened after their first initial fight. “My parents were watching me like a hawk because they hated Joel.”

“And they called my mom to ask if I knew where you were when you snuck out,” Negan recalled, swallowing down hard with him reaching up to sweep at her jawline. “We already had put the condom on me, I wasn’t balls deep but…”

“You weren’t in me at all,” she corrected him knowing that Negan was trying to suggest that they went further than they did. “Negan, you weren’t.”

“If you say so,” Negan scoffed, grunting when she shoved at his arm. “My point is Y/N, we cheated. We never acted on it or said anything because after my mother came in, you got embarrassed, got dressed, ran out of the house and then we never talked again. So I assumed you wanted to continue to have the relationship that we did previously. It was like a fucking dream. You never talked to me about it. And Joel didn’t kill me the next day, so I knew that it was something we were both supposed to forget. The truth is Y/N…the world would always fucking lead you and me back together. There is something between the two of us. When we’re around each other, we act on our emotions. Was Joel your soulmate and Lucille mine? Yeah. I think so. But I think you were always supposed to be mine and I was always supposed to be yours.”

“That’s very sweet, but at the same time makes me realize I was a shitty person,” she recognized, the ache growing at the center of her chest. “I just made Joel feel awful about everything and I did something worse.”

“You were an emotional teenager,” Negan suggested, shaking his head at the idea. “And so what if we’ve all done shitty things? We’re humans Y/N. We make mistakes. It’s what we fucking learn from those mistakes that defines us. And I made so many fucking mistakes that I can’t view Joel as worse than me. Because he’s not. He’s someone who had been in pain his whole life and that pain clouded his judgement. But do I think he loves you? Yes. Yes, I do. And there is something that happened when he was a teenager with his dad that…”

Negan paused, biting down on his bottom lip, “It’s not my place to tell you. That’s something Joel will have to tell you, but fuck…he’s gone through a lot. And so have you. We’re three severely fucked up people.”

Snickering, she shook her head and lowered it having a warmth flooding into her face, “You have the right to be hurt, but I do think you need to acknowledge that while he may have had impure thoughts he never fucking acted on them. If you and Joel would have sent me one of your sex videos when I was married to Lucille, I would have jerked off to them. And I would have sent you a video back. It’s just something people do to do it.”

“He’s lucky to have you, you know?” she interrupted Negan’s thoughts causing Negan’s Adam’s apple to bounce in his throat. “Because no one defends him harder than you do.”

“No,” Negan shook his head, dragging his thumb across her bottom lip. “He’s lucky to have you, just like I am. Because no one fought harder for us than you have. We’re lucky to be loved by you.”

“Oh, you’re good,” she sighed loudly, drawing a big, cheesy smile from Negan. Leaning in toward her, Negan nudged his nose against hers before bringing their lips together in a passionate sweep. “You’re always making me feel things.”

“Happiness?” Negan stammered, peppering kisses at her bottom lip. Bracing her hand in over the center of his chest, she allowed her fingers to stroke at the tattoo that covered his pectoral muscle. “Horniness?”

“I was thinking more so love, but the two h-words work too,” she chuckled, her laugh vibrating against his lips making him smile. “You know, we never had sex in this room. Which is almost a shame.”

“Is that a hint?” Negan slurred, his right eyebrow arching in curiosity.

“Do we have to be somewhere at a certain time?” she was curious with Negan looking to the clock that was on his nightstand. With a scrutinizing look, Negan muttered something under his breath and then laid back against the bed. Reaching for her made her laugh when he helped pull her in over him. “Is that a no?”

“I mean we have somewhere to be, but the idea of this? Well, I think it can wait,” he slurred, pushing his hands up underneath her jacket to get it down over her body. Bracing her hands over the center of his bare chest, she ground her hips down over his eliciting a deep rumble of a growl from his throat. Taking her time, she unhurriedly rocked her hips over his. It had his head tipping back into the pillows with him sucking at his bottom lip. “You know that my mother is here. So we’re definitely gonna have to be quiet.”

Finding his hands meeting her hips, Negan moaned out at the friction of her rubbing up against him, “Nothing makes me feel more like a teenager again than being with you. I remember we did this all the fucking time. I still don’t understand why we didn’t just have sex. We did just about everything else…”

“Your dad put the fear of God into us,” she reminded him with a smirk undoing his belt lazily and then working his pants open. Lowering his head, Negan’s hazel eyes watched her movements and it made him drag his tongue out across his bottom lip. “I thought one day you were just going to push my panties aside and fuck me.”

“I wanted to so bad,” Negan admitted with a hum, his head tipping back again into his pillows. Moving his shirt and jacket aside, Negan kept one hand settled at her hips and curled his other arm behind the pillow that was under his head. The movement stretched out his long torso and it had her tracing up over his ribs getting him to sigh loudly. “And the times that you would give me a pussy job, my God…”

Reaching into Negan’s pants, she took her time caressing over his body getting him completely solid in her grasp. Adjusting over him, she tugged her dress up over her hips with Negan smirking. Helping push her panties aside, Negan swallowed down hard and licked his lips, “I was…I am addicted to you.”

“Good,” she slurred, considering what Negan had just mentioned from when they were first fooling around together. Taking her time, she allowed the lips of her warmth to rub against his shaft having his long eyelashes fluttering to a tight close. By the time he started moaning, she leaned in over him to capture his lips in a silencing kiss. Allowing herself to sink down over his length had them both moaning out in unison. “There is no way you actually managed to get inside of me that night.”

“And why is that?” Negan hummed, keeping his eyes locked on hers while she took her time to roll her hips over his. The prominent vein at the side of his neck bulged when he sucked in a sharp breath of air.

“Because with the way this feels? I wouldn’t have wanted it to stop,” she explained, her nails digging into the flesh at Negan’s chest evoking a muted moan to escape him. Each movement grew in strength and power forcing him to keep quiet.

Something about the whole thing felt naughty and wrong. Particularly with where they were and their situation. This wasn’t going to last entirely too long. Especially since they both knew at any time his mother could walk in on them. She wasn’t sleeping, she was in the house and they really didn’t want her coming in again like she did when they were younger. At first Negan allowed her to control the movements but had braced himself into a seated position to bring them closer together to help keep them both silenced. This was something they had wanted to do so badly when they were younger, but just never found the right time to do it. Everything felt so right, but it always did when they were together. The hardest part was staying silent when they both had reached their orgasms, but they managed.

“So what happened last night?” she breathed laid out across Negan’s chest with her fingers circling through the dark curls of hair. Negan’s fingertips were caressing over her shoulders while they laid out across the center of his bed. “Between you and Joel? The sex?”

“We were talking about the past. I always kind of knew that Joel was bisexual. Because of…things,” Negan didn’t know what he could or could not say because he didn’t want to upset Joel in the slightest. Faint kisses were being pressed at the center of his chest while he spoke and it made him smile. “And I wanted to make him feel better about it. Show him that it was okay to feel things.”

“And who was in what position,” she tipped her head back to stare up at Negan getting a smile to tug at his handsome features.

“The first time he was the bottom and then later in the night me,” Negan was honest with her, tracing shapes over her shoulder.

“And which does he prefer?” she was curious, her jaw flexing with the way that Negan snickered. “I’m open with you when it comes to this stuff.”

“I know. And I think he prefers being a bottom but I’m not really sure. Because I also think he likes having power and control. It’s hard for him to give that up,” Negan claimed with her starting to press kisses over his chest again. A yelp escaped his throat when she nipped at his nipple which had him arching up toward her with a laugh.

“Do you love him?” she muttered against his flesh causing Negan’s smile to fade when he shrugged his shoulders. “Now that’s an expression I can’t read.”

“I love both of you, but it’s not the same kind of love,” Negan declared, his long eyelashes fluttering as he spoke. “I could find myself loving him in a way I do you with time. But the way I love you? Nothing compares to that. You’re my everything.”

Without saying a word, she crawled up toward him to meet him in a lingering kiss that made him hum. Sweeping his thumb at her jawline, Negan swallowed down hard, “Do you want to have children?”

Laughing, she didn’t know how to answer that one, “I already do have children. Two of them in fact.”

“Well, yeah,” Negan huffed, color growing in his cheeks when he lowered his head down to look at her. Now he felt stupid because he knew that. “I know that, I just meant, with me.”

“I don’t know,” she responded, her voice quiet and her eyes filled with contemplation. That wasn’t a question that she was expecting from him, especially in this moment. “I thought you couldn’t have children?”

“I don’t know if I can or not,” Negan reminded her, with a wrinkle of his nose. “I thought it was me that couldn’t have children, but there is that chance that it was just Lucille. I wanted kids really bad. Like, incredibly bad. I wanted to be a dad more than anything.”

“I guess after I had Elizabeth and Peter, I never really considered it. They are both teenagers so I really don’t think I thought I would have any more,” she truly hadn’t even considered having more children after her and Joel had gotten divorced. “I thought Joel and I would have a lot of children when we first got together, but things ended up the way that they did.”

Instead of saying anything else, Negan just gave her a nod with his Adam’s apple bouncing in this throat. It looked like he wanted to say something, but then reconsidered it, “We should probably get going. We do have some time constraints.”

“Oh,” she felt her face hot with Negan getting up from underneath her carefully. Working his pants back together, Negan was quick putting his shirt and his jacket on. Fixing her clothing, she had grabbed some of the tissue that was beside Negan’s bed to clean herself up. When they were both done, Negan held his hand out to her with a tiny smirk over his handsome features.

Accepting his hand, she allowed Negan to lead her to the front door wondering where Negan’s mother had gone off to. Right as Negan opened the door, a gasp fell from Y/N’s throat when she came face to face with her mother who was holding some kind of dessert in her hands. What had been a smile turned to a disappointed expression when her mother realized that it was her at the door. “Oh, hey mom.”

Right in that moment, it looked like her mother wanted to run away. Avoid her all together, but Negan had moved in behind Y/N.

“Is your mother here?” her mother looked beyond Y/N to make eye contact with Negan who tipped his head to the side. “Your mother brought us over a really nice dessert the other day and I thought I would repay her with this.”

“You know, I don’t understand this,” Negan announced after seeing Y/N’s face flush over with red. Instead of standing up for herself, Y/N had just stepped aside so her mother could interact with Negan. “She’s your daughter. It’s Christmas time and you’re not even going to say hello?”

Silence followed. Her mother didn’t seem to care or have any kind of emotion with what he was saying. 

“Why?” Negan pushed further, throwing his hand up in the air trying to receive some kind of answer for Y/N. “Because she decided to keep her child instead of aborting it? That’s really fucking sad because Elizabeth is an awesome kid that you never even got to know because you wrote your daughter out of your lives.”

“Is your mother home?” her mother repeated once more refusing to give Negan some kind of answer.

“Be a human being instead of a fucking robot,” Negan demanded, the vein at the side of his neck bulging. Rage was starting to grow inside of him and he could see out of the corner of his eye that Y/N just wanted him to stop. “You have two phenomenal grandchildren. They are awesome. And your daughter is a great mother to them.”

“I don’t have a daughter,” her mother was cold in the way that she responded. A broken breath escaped Y/N. Even if she swore she was fine, by her breathing Negan could tell that she wasn’t. “I had one, I haven’t for eighteen years.”

“That’s so fucked up,” Negan rolled his eyes, stepping forward to reach for Y/N’s hand. Urging her back toward him, Negan’s fingers hooked with hers giving them a firm squeeze. “You are missing out on so much, y’know that?”

“My daughter wasted her life on that Miller boy and look at the good that it did for her,” her mother stressed, lowering the pie down and shaking her head. “I knew from the start that he was no good. He never was. I expected my daughter to go to school, get a life for herself. Not hook up with the local poor boy who had nothing living paycheck to paycheck.”

“Wow,” Y/N muttered under her breath, hating that this felt like she was seventeen all over again.

“But no. She had to remain loyal to that boy and refuse to get rid of his spawn,” her mother continued to vent, “and look at what he did to her. Divorced her and left her after knocking her up with two children. It’s exactly the kind of life that I expected her to have getting married to him.”

“You’re something else,” Negan snorted before Y/N could even speak up to defend herself or Joel. “That boy lost his parents at eighteen where he had to take care of his little brother. That boy went from nothing and made himself something. But it’s not even about Joel anymore. It’s about your flesh and blood. Your daughter is still right here. Your grandchildren are living in the same town that you and your husband are. Yet you have no relationship with them. I think Joel’s parents would have given anything to meet their grandchildren. Instead you allowed those children to grow up without any grandparents at all.”

Another bout of silence surrounded them.

“Y’know what though? It was probably for the best. They did much better without you anyways. The last thing they needed was you poisoning them with your hatefulness,” Negan snarled, his blood boiling at this point. “Your daughter became a better parent than you ever could have been. Unlike her, her children know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally. By both their mother and their father.”

“Can we please avoid the lecture?” her mother was dramatic in the way that she delivered her sentence. “Even at this point, I wouldn’t want anything to do with my daughter. Ending up with you now? Being all over the news. Do you know how many people have mentioned it to us at church? God, the rumors that we have heard.”

Snatching the pie from Y/N’s mom had her gasping out with Negan holding it in his free hand, “I assure you that my mother will get your crusty ass pie. Now get the fuck outta her house before I force you out.”

There was an offended expression over her mother’s face when she gave Y/N one final scrutinizing look, but Negan was quick to get her out the door. Slamming the door shut, Negan grunted when he saw that his mother was standing behind him in the hallway.

“Good boy,” Negan’s mother stepped forward to palm in over the side of her son’s face. “You go toss that in the trash where it belongs.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan smirked heading over toward the kitchen with his mother stepping before Y/N. No words were spoken. She just wrapped Y/N up in a hug. Truthfully? She didn’t realize how much she truly needed a hug from someone that was like a parental figure to her. By the time Negan returned, he came to a full stop allowing them to continue their hug until his mother was satisfied. Leading Y/N back to the door again, this time he was happy to see that no one was there. “We are going to have to blindfold you because I don’t want you to know where we are going.”

“Okay?” she couldn’t say no really in this position. So she let him do it. Wrapping the red fabric around her eyes. Being careful, she allowed Negan to lead her down the sidewalk and to his car. Once he had them both inside and the car started up, she couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re lucky that I trust you.”

“I know,” Negan acknowledged with a snort.

It was hard to focus where they were going with Negan humming the Christmas music that was on the radio while they drove. What made things worse is she couldn’t stop thinking about the things her mother said. After this long? Her parents hadn’t changed at all. But she knew she had to force herself to think about something else. Negan was doing something nice for her and she had to think about that. Not the things that were eating away at her.

It wasn’t a very long drive, but it was far enough that she didn’t really know where they could be headed. When they got wherever Negan was taking her, she was surprised by how quiet it actually was.

“Ready?” Negan’s breath was warm against the side of her neck, drawing chills down her spine. Undoing the blindfold allowed her eyes to flutter to an open. It was dark with lights flooding the large area before her. It took a minute for her to truly realize where they were and it made her laugh when music started playing in the background.

“The skating rink? I don’t think I’ve been here in over ten years,” she turned to Negan with curiosity in her eyes. Loosely, Negan’s arms wrapped around her with his hazel eyes gazing down at her with awe. “You wanted me to dress up nice for this?”

“Yes, yes I did,” Negan answered with a wink, lowering enough to nuzzle his nose in against hers. “Come here…”

Getting her to follow him over toward a table that was already set up at the back of the building had her curiosity growing. On top of it was what looked like the setting for a child’s birthday party. There was a cake that had no writing on it, but it was decorated like what one would look like for a birthday. There was a pizza at the center of the table along with plates and two party hats.

Looking around, she realized there was no one else there, just them. Except for maybe whoever was helping Negan hidden somewhere, “Alright. I’m interested.”

Something sent a line of light across the area they were seated at and it made her smile looking over her shoulder to see that the arcade area had just turned on. Sounds of the games and the flashing of the lights had her smirking.

“Here,” Negan reached for one of the party hats to put it on her. A tiny laugh fell from her lips and it made her smile. Getting a hat for himself, Negan put it on which had her chuckling louder. Curling his finger in underneath her chin, he got her to tip her head back to look up at him. “Do you know what is so special about this place?”

“We were here all the time as young children?” she replied, not sure if that was the right answer. Simply shaking his head had Y/N sucking in a sharp breath of air. “What’s so special about this place.”

“It’s the place we shared our first kiss,” Negan alerted her with his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he closed the distance between them. “It was my birthday. There was a bunch of kids here. More so here for the party instead of being here for me.”

“So, that’s what you’re creating again for us,” she noted looking down at the table that was set up for them. “Do you know how young we actually were when that happened?”

“Very, very young,” Negan smirked, his dimples showing clearly with the amusement that was in his features. “Do you remember where we were when you first kissed me?”

Extending her hand out, she swiped some of the frosting from the cake and dragged her finger down over the side of Negan’s cheek. It had him snorting, but she led him over toward the area of the arcade that she recalled. Just like it was when they were younger, there was ski ball set up and she felt a warmth spreading throughout her body.

“You had just opened presents and eaten your cake. We were playing ski ball together, which you always lost,” she reminded him, turning to him. Grabbing onto the sides of his jacket, she pulled him in closer to her and she nodded toward the frosting that she put on his face. “I let you win and you had frosting on your face. I thought you were the most ridiculous boy in the world because you were so happy that you won.”

“I won fair and square,” Negan suggested with an amused rumble, the bridge of his nose wrinkling.

“In the middle of your celebrating, I tipped up on my toes and…” she gave Negan a quick peck on the lips. It had his eyes closing, a charming smile tugging at his handsome features. “I kissed you just like that. Told you happy birthday and then ran off.”

“I was hoping this time you wouldn’t run off on me,” Negan whispered, his eyes slowly opening. Leaning into her touch, Negan allowed her to wipe the frosting from his face. Depositing it between her lips had him laughing when she gave him a thumbs up. “I figured we could eat some pizza. Play some games and go skating. Eat some cake and then there is a special gift I have for you.”

“You want me to skate in a dress?” she mused, tipping up on her toes while bracing her hands against the center of his chest. “How talented do you think I am Negan?”

“Very,” Negan whispered with another big, cheesy smile. “The most talented woman I know in fact and I think you’ll really like this.”

----

“Why didn’t you bring a friend?” Joel nudged Elizabeth playfully with his shoulder as she walked side by side with him. Looking ahead, Joel could see Peter talking excitedly to one of his friends and in front of them Maria and Tommy were looking on with awe for the spectacular lights that covered each home they were walking by.

“Because this is something we do every year and I didn’t want to leave you out,” Elizabeth declared with a shrug of her shoulders, hooking her arm around her father’s to lean in closer to rest her head against his shoulder. “I thought it would be nice.”

“Every moment I spend with you is nice,” Joel assured her with a wink, a sigh falling from his throat. Stealing a quick look at the house they were passing, Joel knew this was also something that Y/N had started with him and Negan when they were teenagers. It was a tradition that they had done for a long time that had a halt after they got divorced. Yet, he always managed to take the children still every year. “I just want you to have fun.”

“I’m having fun. Contrary to popular belief, I can actually enjoy myself while spending time with my parents,” she smirked, looking ahead at the rest of their family. “Soon, I’ll be going off to college, so I’m going to take every moment I can with you.”

“Don’t remind me,” Joel scoffed hating that his daughter had grown so quickly. “I don’t want to think about that.”

“You know I love you, right?” she looked to Joel, her eyes worried as if she thought that he didn’t.

“Of course. And I love you. Very much,” Joel reached for her hand to bring it up to place a quick peck over the back of her hand. “You’re my beautiful little girl. And you always will be. No matter how old you get.”

Something seemed to be eating away at Elizabeth with her considering her next question, “Daddy? Do you hate Negan?”

“Hate Negan?” Joel repeated with a firm shake of his head. “No, I don’t hate Negan.”

“You seem like you hate Negan,” she countered recalling the way that he had been acting over the last few weeks. “He seems to make you really angry. And I know that your face looks like that because the two of you fought. You both didn’t fall on the ice. Even though you both keep insisting that.”

“Because it’s hard to believe that two ridiculous alpha males could fall on their face during the winter season?” Joel joked and it got a roll of the eyes from her. The last thing that their children needed was to be involved with the drama that was going on in their lives. “I’m sorry honey, but this is because my face decided to take a trip down to meet the sidewalk.”

“You’re not supposed to lie to me,” she frowned and Joel knew that Elizabeth wanted him to tell her everything, but there were some things that he knew should remain a secret.

“I’m not lying to you. I don’t hate Negan,” Joel promised, squeezing her fingers with his. “It’s just hard seeing how perfect he is sometimes when I know I’m not. And I’m not used to seeing your mother…love someone else.”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth was quiet about his response, her dark eyes looking around them, but he didn’t think she was all that focused on the lights. “I always thought I had the best parents when I was little and I do! I don’t want you to think that I think otherwise. But I remember how everybody’s parents were either divorced, or they were split or they were never married. But me? I had two parents that were sickeningly in love with one another. So I was always the person that never saw my parents getting with anyone else because of how much they loved each other when I was growing up..”

“Yeah,” Joel felt guilty. When he asked Y/N for a divorce, the children really weren’t what was on his mind. He never really took into consideration how much it would affect them in their lives.

“When you ended up with Tess, I think you shocked all of us,” Elizabeth declared, her voice faint and unsure since this was someone that her father dated. “I didn’t hate her, she was nice enough. But we all thought you would just go back to mom at some point.”

“It must have really hurt her when I did that,” Joel whispered, his chest aching at the thought. Lately, that’s all he had been thinking of. All the awful things that he had done over the last few years to fuck his relationship with Y/N up so bad.

“Understatement,” Elizabeth stressed, tipping her head from side to side. “Which is why I’m happy she found Negan again. I’m not sure I’ve seen her this happy since I was young and the two of you were in love.”

“And that’s why I can’t hate Negan,” Joel confessed to his daughter, his chest growing heavy at the idea that he hadn’t been able to make Y/N that happy in a long time. “I care about your mother and I just want her happy.”

“Yeah?” Elizabeth seemed to not really believe that.

“I have a lot of thoughts, but they are things I really can’t open up to you about Ellie,” Joel stressed, his brow line creasing with the thoughts that he was having. “I just want you to know that I don’t hate Negan. There is actually a lot I do like about Negan and there are things that I probably would need to talk to you and your brother about at some point. But that’s down the line.”

“Okay,” she seemed quiet, too quiet really. Elizabeth was usually so full of energy, so this was different for her. “That’s good, since I think Negan is in our lives from here on out.”

“I agree with you,” Joel couldn’t deny that now Negan had found his way back into their lives that he would never truly be gone. “He seems to really want to be around all of us now. I think he’s going to make an attempt to be here as much as he can.’

“Especially now,” she seemed to linger on a thought and Joel was curious. The way that Elizabeth was looking at him weirded him out. “You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” Joel shook his head leaving Elizabeth looking pale. There was something that she wanted to tell him but was having a hard time admitting it. “Honey, what?”

“Well, I was with Negan earlier today setting up this special date for mom,” Elizabeth began, contemplating if she should really be telling her father this. “At the Christmas Fest the other day, he asked me for permission…”

“For what?” Joel’s eyebrow arched noticing that she didn’t seem to want to elaborate on that detail. “Ellie?”

“He’s asking mom to marry him tonight,” Elizabeth was blunt with her answer, making it quick and short. Showing that she was scared about what his reaction would be. Stopping in his tracks had Elizabeth looking back at him worried. “I thought you said that you were okay with Negan now and you didn’t hate him.”

“He’s asking your mother to marry him tonight?” Joel questioned keeping his voice down enough so that the others didn’t hear him. Suddenly, that jealousy that had been raging inside of him was building up again inside of his body. After last night, he was surprised that this was something that Negan didn’t tell him. Especially after they had all pretty much agreed to this whole poly relationship thing. And that was something he was pushing for big time, so to hear that surprised him. “What the fuck?”

“Daddy,” she stretched out to grab a hold of Joel’s wrist to get him to focus on her. “You said that you wanted mom happy. Right? So that means you should let this happen because I know that Negan really loves mom and she loves him.”

“Don’t you think that’s fast?” Joel snapped, shaking his head at the idea of them moving this quickly. Not even just that, how was their poly relationship supposed to work? She’d be married to Negan and he’d be their side piece? How would that work? “I don’t even think she has truly considered how much all of you are going to be in the media with this. He’s going to be away most of the year playing his last season of baseball.”

“I don’t think she cares what other people think and neither does he,” she pointed out having the knowledge of how much Negan truly seemed to appear to love her mother. “I think he just loves her so much that he doesn’t want to lose her.”

Unexpected rage ate away at Joel. It was important enough for Negan to ask Elizabeth’s permission, but not for him to ask Joel for permission? Hell, Y/N was his first after all. And if they were all together, shouldn’t they have all talked about who would be married to who?

“Where are they?” Joel interrogated his daughter, but she looked uneasy at the idea of telling him. “Ellie?!”

“Dad, come on,” she reasoned with her father seeing that he was unhappy with his expression. “What are you going to do? Run over there and stop it from happening? Neither Negan nor mom will forgive you for that. It’s supposed to be a special moment for them.”

“I don’t think this is right Ellie,” Joel explained, throwing his hands up in the air with his jaw flexing in frustration. “I think there should be more time and consideration put into things. I think we should all get to know each other better and get used to this kind of lifestyle. Let your mom experience it before she makes this big of a decision.”

“I don’t think anything is going to make mom change her mind on Negan, dad,” she tried to calm her father down, stepping forward and holding her hand up to get him to focus. “Dad, they love each other. And Negan would do anything for her…”

“They are in the honeymoon phase of their relationship,” Joel grunted, his mind going in so many different directions. This was something that Negan should have told him about yesterday. Instead they focused on the feelings that he had when he was a teenager and how he felt for Negan. Yeah, he wanted the three of them to be together, but if someone was going to be married to her…Joel thought it should have been him. Not Negan. Not after everything they had been through. “Everything is glorious, but when reality starts to…”

“What’s going on?” Tommy called out to them realizing that they were lagging behind the group.

“We’ll be right there,” Elizabeth assured her uncle, still remaining quiet. There was no hiding that Tommy thought they were fighting and he was now locked on them like a hawk to make sure that everything was okay.

“Ellie, tell me where they are,” Joel begged of his daughter who was battling this whole thing in her mind. “Ellie, please!”

“At the skating rink,” he finally got her to admit to him what she knew. “The one on the edge of town. He set it up really nice and planned something really sweet for her.”

Stepping backwards had Elizabeth throwing her hands up to stop him, “Dad?”

“Tommy, I need you to take the children home after you are all done walking. Okay?” Joel pled with his brother who nodded his head, but appeared to be nervous with Joel ready to take off on them in the middle of something they did every year.

“Let me go with you,” Elizabeth stammered, clearly nervous with whatever her father was considering. “Dad?”

“Just enjoy yourself Ellie, whatever is going to happen will happen,” Joel gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before running off toward where he had parked thanking God that him and Tommy had driven here separately. Getting in the car, he was quick to leave hoping that he wouldn’t be too late for things.

What the hell was he going to say to her? What was he going to say to Negan? Really, he didn’t know what was going to be said. There was just a part of him that felt like if there was an opportunity for one of them to be married to Y/N, it should have been him. Not Negan. 

----

Tonight was fun. And it surprised Y/N how much she actually enjoyed it. Right now? They were standing at the center of the skating rink together. Instead of actually skating, they decided to use the wooden ground of the rink as a dance floor instead. Especially since she was in a dress and his knee was bothering him. It wasn’t something that Negan had thought about at the time, but this was much nicer than that anyways. It had them close to one another, enjoying the warmth of the moment.

For a long time they played in the arcade, shared their meal and cake before ending up here. It was a very sweet moment and she was in awe of the things that Negan was able to set up. Each memory Negan brought back for her was romantic and frankly adorable. It was something nice to think back on and make her happy.

“This was a good idea with the dancing,” Negan stammered with a weak smile when he pulled his head back to stare down at her. Everything around them was dark except for the lights that were filling the skating area bringing the main focus to the two of them together. “I keep forgetting that I’m a gimp.”

“My favorite gimp,” she teased him, stroking her fingers at the exposed flesh that was revealed from the opened buttons of his dark shirt. The dark hair that covered his chest was exposed and it had her letting out a loud exhale. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

“I’d like to think so,” Negan exhaled having her laugh out at his comment, burying her head against the center of his chest. “Have you enjoyed yourself tonight?”

“I have,” she answered him finding that Negan often brought back her youth for her. Pretty quickly her childhood was stolen from her and she had to be an adult faster than most people did. So it was fun getting to relive how things were when they were younger.

The next song started and this one was more upbeat having Negan carefully pushing her out before pulling her back into him. Then there was a spin that had her laughing at how easily he moved her around on this wooden floor. Dipping her had her dropping her head back and he nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck. Laughter fell from the both of them with them enjoying the moment. It was fun, it was silly and it was just them having moments that they could look back on.

“There is something I want to show you,” Negan motioned her to wait, staring out at the darkness that surrounded them. Spinning his finger around above him had the lights slowly coming on which amused Y/N. Even though this place felt empty, there was obviously someone that had been watching them. Heading over to the side of the rink, Negan grabbed an envelope that had been sitting there. As he headed back to her, he still continued to dance about making her smile at his antics. “I have something really important for you.”

“Okay?” she went to reach for the envelope, but he stopped her holding up his finger. Motioning her to wait, Negan brought up something on his phone and held it out before her. Taking his phone, she brought it closer to her and saw that it was a website that was both her first name and her last name. “I’m confused.”

“I set up a website for you so you can blog about things,” Negan explained, a tiny smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. Bouncing his eyebrows, he pointed at the phone to get her to look again. “That way you can start having people see your stories and your photos.”

“No one is going to want to read about my life or see my photos,” she thought this was cute, but at the same time it didn’t really make a lot of sense to her. “I mean, I can put things up, but who cares about a random girl that is living in a small town who takes mostly photos of her family.”

“That’s not true. I saw your photos, you’ve got some really good stuff from New York. And you could blog about your food that you make because you have some incredible desserts as well too,” Negan insisted, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. Waving the envelope about had her watching him with curiosity. “There have been some things I wanted to talk to you about. Back when we were at the stadium, Dale was searching for an answer for something from me. They want me to be the coach of the team after I retire. Dale has been talking about retiring for a while and since I was forced to retire with my knee, they thought it would be great to hire me on as coach. I just didn’t know if it was something that I really wanted. Especially after I got to spend time with you and your family.”

It looked like Negan was struggling to explain things to her, but she didn’t know if it was out of fear, “Then I heard you and Joel talking about longing for your life to be the way that you dreamt of when you were younger. The both of you still yearn for that kind of life. You wanted to so badly travel, be a journalist and share your photos with the world. Well, now you can.”

“How so?” she didn’t know what to say and Negan threw his hands up in the air.

“I took the job,” Negan explained, biting down on his bottom lip. “I didn’t really know if I was ready to walk away from the team. This way I can still be with the team and not have to worry about being disabled. But, I also put in a stipulation. I would only agree to take the job if they did one thing for me.”

“And what’s that one thing?” she didn’t know if she should be happy for Negan yet or not because he had all this nervous energy. That was when he handed her over the envelope. Looking down, she accepted it and started to open the envelope. In the light she managed to see that it was a contract with the baseball team that was made out for her. “Negan?”

“I managed to get the team to hire you on. They came to me recently wanting someone to follow me around during the last year of my time on the team. Someone to report on what I was going through, what I was doing. They thought it would bring a lot of attention to the team in a positive light. And it would also put focus on my career ending so people really knew that it was the end, you know? I can’t think of someone I want doing it more than you. So this is their offer. They want you to follow me around and do the segments. Travel with me, report on things. Take photos, talk about the team. The games. I know you know baseball. You’ll get to travel, be with me and take photos. Which is exactly what you always wanted. You can also post about the things you want to post about.”

“Negan, this is a lot of money,” she felt suddenly panicked looking at the numbers that were there. “You got them to do this by saying it was the only way you would be the coach?”

“Yeah,” Negan nodded his head, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat.

“But I’m a nobody. You’d think they would want someone who has already made a name for themselves,” she didn’t know how to respond realizing that Negan was right, this was the closest thing to the dream she had when she was younger.

“But you have to make a start somewhere, right? Dale got his job because someone gave him a chance. And that’s what they are doing here with you,” Negan reasoned with her pointing to the papers that were in her hands. “Joel is getting attention for what he did at that bar. I know people that are related to music are actually interested in getting in contact with him. And people are going crazy about hiring him as a contractor. Now it’s your turn to get to live doing some of the things that you always wanted.”

“Wow,” she didn’t know what to say. This was big. Very big. It was a deal that a lot of people would easily accept no questions asked.

“Which really leads me to my next question,” Negan stammered, surprising her when the lights went out. Around her in the darkness she felt something pouring down in over them. By the time that the lights slowly came back to, she realized that there were rose pedals on the ground around her. A video started playing out of the corner of her eye and it was someone projecting what looked like home videos on the wall. Realizing what it was, she turned to look at them. It was their videos together from when they were younger. Videos she assumed that Negan got from his mother of them growing up. It started with them young and with each passing second it led to them becoming teenagers through quick glimpses of clips. There was a gentle tug at her dress and she looked behind her to see that Negan was on his knee holding a black jewelry box in his hands. Even in the darkness that surrounded him, she could see that it was a very beautiful, big ring that was there. “This may be a little cheesy, but I had my mother and Liz help me with this earlier today.”

And suddenly there was her answer as to why Elizabeth was acting strange, “I wanted to give you a beautiful moment because you are phenomenal. Inside and out. You’re fucking perfect. And I’ve loved you my whole life. I always knew it. I still know it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Proving to you how much I love you. Making all your dreams come true. I want you by my side. Getting to experience the life that you always wanted and then some. I want to spend the rest of my life making you fucking happy. Letting you know how fucking much I love you every day.”

There were tears burning at her eyes when she forced herself to look away from Negan who was exceedingly hopeful with the way that he was staring up at her, “It would make me really happy if you would do me the honors of being my wife.”

Silence followed and Negan lowered his head to get her to look at him. There was a big smile plastered over his features when he shrugged his shoulders, “So what do you say? Will you marry me?”

“I wish you wouldn’t have involved Elizabeth in this,” was the first thing that came out of her mouth and the smile slowly faded from Negan’s features. That wasn’t what he was expecting after asking her to marry him. “I’m a mom, Negan.”

“Yeah?” Negan’s head tipped to the side, his features confused.

“You didn’t think this out,” she whispered, guilt eating away at her that this obviously wasn’t turning out the way that Negan wanted. “I have a daughter that is seventeen and a son that is thirteen. I’m just supposed to take off on them? Leave them? So that way I can live my dream?”

“Of course not, they could travel with us,” Negan was quick to answer, but she gave him a sideways expression. There was a knot growing in Negan’s stomach and his chest started to ache.

“They have school Negan,” she pointed out and he let out a nervous breath.

“Yeah, but they can probably get the best home schooling available,” Negan offered, the vein at the side of his neck bulging that she wasn’t just outwardly saying yes to all of this. “I can afford just about anything and you know that they would love going.”

“But that takes them away from Joel,” she countered, reaching up to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. “And I couldn’t do that to Joel. I couldn’t do that to them. Joel is the most important person in their lives.”

“I don’t want them taken away from Joel,” Negan looked to the ring that was in his hand and suddenly he felt incredibly small. “I just wanted to give you the life that you always wanted. I wanted to make you happy. I want to be with you.”

“Baseball season is what? Six months? And then spring training is two months? That means that we’ll always be traveling for eight months out of the year,” she thought aloud having Negan’s arm slowly dropping down beside him in defeat. There was a sense of misery in his eyes that broke her heart to see, but these were things Negan didn’t think about. “What kind of life is that for children? They need some kind of stability in their lives and they can’t be away from their father.”

“I just thought…” Negan slid further in closer to her trying to grab her hand, but she pulled it from him and let out a shuddering breath. “Please? I love you. I love your children. I want to be your husband. I want you to be my wife. And I feel like we could figure something out with Joel. If we get this music thing started for him…”

“I wish I could take off and just go whenever I wanted to Negan,” she whimpered, trying to wipe at the tears that were over her cheeks. It was hard to even look at him right now since Negan was so good at bringing happiness into her life, but she didn’t feel like he thought this out very well. “But that dream left as soon as I became a mom. A mom to children that don’t belong to you. If they were yours, it would be one thing, but I can’t take them away from their dad. I can’t stay on the road six months at a time away from them.”

“I’m sure there is something that could be worked out where…” Negan heard her sob and she threw her hands up in the air. Confusion flooded Negan’s veins that she was acting the way she was about all of this. “I don’t understand. Don’t you love me?”

“So fucking much,” she answered immediately, nodding her head to his question. “More than you will ever understand, but my family has to come first Negan. And this is where their lives are. This small, sad little town. But this is where their school is. This is where their father is. Their lives have to come first. As much as I want to be happy and to live my dreams, I have to put their dreams first.”

“I just thought…” Negan slouched forward with Y/N running off on him toward the women’s restroom. It had him closing the box up and he fell back onto his ass. Burying his head into his hands, he knew that this was not what he was expecting. He did everything he could to make this romantic for her but realizing that she had set the papers and the envelope back where they were originally, he knew that this wasn’t turning out to be the night that he planned it to be.

----

Sitting in the driveway to his home, Joel could feel his heart pounding away in his chest. He’d love to admit that he didn’t go to the skating rink, but he did. And what he saw was Negan and Y/N dancing at the center of the rink. They were laughing, kissing, smiling…doing everything that a happy couple did.

What had originally been courage out of anger and rage stopped the moment he saw them together. Elizabeth was right. They were happy. Negan made her happy. Happier than he had in years. Then again? Maybe it was happier than he had ever.

Instead of breaking things off like he had planned to do, Joel just stood there for a moment. Watched them. They had no idea that he was there. They were just lost in each other. Lost in the moment. And he couldn’t stand to see any further of it. But he also couldn’t break it up. Not with her as happy as she was. So instead he turned around. Walked out of the place. Forced himself to drive home.

Even though he told himself to turn around multiple times, he didn’t. What kind of man would he be if he ruined her special moment? Made her miserable again like he had always done before in the past. This time he had to be the better man that he used to be. The man that he wanted to be and let them have their moment.

If Negan made her happy? Then there was nothing he could do to change that. He had to let her grow up and apart from him. Even if it hurt him. Even if he felt like it was wrong. He had to let her be her own person and find her own way.

Elizabeth saw it, he saw it. Negan was the person that made her the happiest now and Joel would just have to live with that. Whether he liked it or not. There was nothing he could do to change it. No matter how much it hurt. 

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland