#been waiting since maaaaaay

[hotwaterandmilk]

Finally, Asamiya Kia's 18th full-colour, 16-page illustration doujinshi, NICE FLIGHT, is available for online purchase. Lebia Maverick from Silent Möbius is the star of this one and she's rocking a flight attendant outfit (because why not).

This book, plus his new ones from Comiket are available to order through Melonbooks. (None of these recent releases seem to have made it to the Lab-Garnier Asmart store, not sure what the go is with that.)

[stillnotyourmusebitch]

AAAGH I loved your sinner!Adam fic about him and Reader watching TV together 🥺

I heard you take sinner!Adam requests so is it okay to have a sort-of part 2? Maybe watching movies became a regular thing between them and one time they end up kissing during one? If you find it repetitive and don't want to it's totally okay, I understand! I hope you have a nice day and keep up with the good work 🥹

Oh I loved writing this. The fic below is a sequel to this ficlet

I do hope that you liked it. I'm always worried I've made him too ooc but Sinner!Adam is fanon based atm and if he is wanting redemption he would change his ways.

So Urm yeah enjoy. . . .

What we watching?? Sinner!Adam x GN!reader

Fluffy af

That night watching trashy romcoms with Adam could have just been a one off thing and you would’ve been fine with it. But when he approached you in the communal kitchens the next morning with a proposition to make ‘Thursday film night’ a regular thing between the two of you. You had asked him why. He said that hanging out with you yesterday was one of the most fun things he had done in a long time. You smiled fondly at him before agreeing.

-

As Thursday night rolled around again. You were looking forward to sharing some more of your favourite films with Adam. He’d said he would be there by 6ish. You glance at the time on your phone. It was only 6.05pm. He’s probably just running late after the one on one session with Charlie.

An easy way to keep your mind busy was dragging out all your blankets and making a sort of nest type thing on the floor by the couch. You used to do this with your family when you were alive. It just made the movie marathons all that more special. After seeing how far Adam had come since arriving at the hotel. You had really wanted to show him how much he meant to you.

‘Wait, as a friend.’ You stopped mid cushion grab. You liked him as only a friend right? Right?

Your door burst open and slammed shut very quickly Adam was only 45 minutes late, you looked up seeing him breathing hard, carting an armload of snacks, drinks and a few bowls of things.

“There you . . .” he shushes you looking frantically at the closed door. “What did you do?” You whisper as you crawl onto the couch.

A far off loud shouting could be heard in the silence. He waited a minute more before letting out a breath.

“It wasn’t my fault honest.” He looked extremely guilty. You quirked a brow wanting an explanation. “I was trying to make my super awesome dip for our movie night but I maaaaaay have made a really big mess but I didn’t mean to, I just tripped over that cleaner chick who was chasing more of them roaches. This hotel must have an infestation or she is breeding them just to kill. Oh wait, I’m getting off point, the thing is I might have made too much of the dip than I intended and I kinda launched half of it onto another patron. But it wasn’t my fault. This time at least.” He frantically spoke as he juggled the drinks and snacks about in his arms before depositing them carefully on the coffee table. Standing back up he turned and looked down at what you were making. “What’s that?” He points to the accumulated amount of cushions, blankets and other soft furnishings piled on the floor.

“Well, the thing is.” You hopped off the couch into the nest trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal. How were you supposed to explain the reason behind it without him laughing at you? “You know what it’s stupid let me just . . .” You felt shame rush to your cheeks as you tried to dismantle the obviously stupid idea.

“Hey, I didn’t say it was a bad thing. Looks comfy as fuck. Budge up would ya.” You hopped out as he set himself down in the dead center of the nest, keeping his legs open slightly to give you a place to sit. Last week he really liked having you snuggled up close to him, why did you think this week would be any different.

You chose the first movie and plopped yourself down in the space he left for you, his arms wrapping around your middle pulling you flush against his chest.

“So what we watching?”

-----

“I have a question do all of these movie have the same premise?” Adam asked after about 15 minutes into the third film.

“Whatdya mean?” You say through a mouthful of chips.

“Like . . hang on pause the film a sec.” He fumbles for the remote to stop the movie. You shuffle a bit to see him better. “Like don’t get me wrong they’re good films, a bit cliché but surely the lead woman knows that the ‘Oh I’m a famous something or other I have no time for a man’” his fake high pitched womanly voice had you laughing. ���Hey shush let me finish my thought.”

“But you make such a good woman.” You poke at his chest playfully.

“Ah ha ha ha.” He grabs your hand in his. “But seriously shush. My point is are there any original ideas in these films?”

“You saying I got trash taste in cinema?” You try pulling your hand away from his grasp. Adam doesn’t let go but pulls you closer to him.

“What I’m saying is watching all these oblivious people who clearly have strong feelings for the other person, got me thinking.” He looks down at your hand in his. “Ya know what never mind let’s keep watching the movie.” He lets go of your hand and grabs for the remote, setting the film going again.

The whiplash from that conversation was enough to make your head spin. You stayed a second more simply looking into the face of a man who had something he wanted to say but couldn’t bring himself to do so. As you turned back in his arms to watch the movie, you could hear a small sigh of relief.

You tried to go back to watching the movie but you couldn’t. Adam only held you loosely now, choosing to focus more on grabbing snacks and sipping his soda. Your mind went into overdrive.

‘What did you do wrong?’

‘Was he mad at you?’

‘Did he . . . wait did he like you?’

You almost choked on a piece of popcorn at the realisation. Adam liked you.

Daring to flick your eyes to look at him. He was focused on the film but the soft look of longing he bore was almost too much.

“Adam?” Your voice was gentle so as not to spook him.

“Mmmyeah?” He was still watching the screen.

You grabbed the remote and paused the TV again.

“Hey, it was getting to a good part.” He looked down at you annoyed. “What. Is there something on my face?” He touches his face trying to feel for any irregularity. “Hey, say something you’re freaking me. mmmf” You pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him. He froze against your lips.

‘Shit was I wrong?’

You move to pull away. But his hands cup your face pulling you back into a tender kiss that makes you melt into his touch. The kiss lasted no longer than 5 seconds but you didn’t care you felt like your entire body was floating.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He spoke softly as he broke the kiss. “Can I kiss you again?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes.” Your words were barely a whisper but it was all he needed to pull you back against him, he kissed you in such a tender way that made your heart flutter in your chest. You didn’t realise he was capable of such gentility but you craved more of it. Your hands carded into his hair, being careful of his horns, as one of his hands went to cradle the back of your head, effectively tilting your head to allow him to deepen the kiss. His other hand moved to your lower back, fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt. The kiss had an undertone of heat laced in the movements of your joined lips.

You broke the kiss panting slightly, you noted his pupils were dilated slightly as you were sure yours mirrored back.

You had to slow this down now before you regretted anything.

“Adam.” Your voice low in warning. “As much as I enjoy kissing you. Can we take whatever this is a little slower?”

You expected him to whine or pout about being told no. but he just smiles goofily at you. Swiping a thumb over your lower lip.

“Sure thing.” He kisses your forehead before helping you settle back against him the way your were before. He picked up the remote “Ready to continue?”

You weaved your fingers with his other hand and nodded “Ready.”

--------

I hope this is what you wanted.

My ask box is still open if anyone else got requests

[kobedivision]

Happy Birthday Touya!

Mature Themes Ahead. Minors Do Not Interact.

— Katsushika Division, August 20th, 2024 —

The sun was starting to set over Katsushika Division, bathing the city in a warm ethereal glow. It was a very special day for a certain prisoner, Touya Kisaragi sat at his small vanity and hummed a light tune as he brushed his hair, lengthened extensions and all as he finished getting ready for his date with the love of his life, Kaiji Sano.

The blue haired male was almost bouncing in his seat with excitement, he had been anticipating this ever since the start of August, not only because it would be another year of spending his birthday with his teammates who became more of a family to him but it would also be the first birthday he’d spend with Kaiji as boyfriends, the thought caused the serial killer to smile even wider, his heart filled with love at the thought of the white haired crossdresser.

A knock on his door brought him out from his thoughts, after telling whoever on the other side to “come in!”, the door opened to reveal his teammate, Rintaro Himura. Said male had an annoyed look on his face which might look scary to some but to the other members of Death Row Block, it was just how the redhead normally looked.

“Oi, Touya.” The bomber addressed, barely looking up from his phone. “Kaiji’s here outside waiting for ya.”

Touya’s eyes lit up as he got up from the vanity and squealed in happiness, making Rintaro cringe at how loud and high pitched it was. Touya was unconcerned however as he hurried to grab his phone and purse and made a beeline towards the door. “YAAAAAAY KAI-CHAN! I’M LEAVING EVERYONE! DON’T WAIT UP! BYE BYE!” He yelled out as he went out the door, causing Rintaro to groan, Akihisa and Akari however, only bid the effeminate boy goodbye.

“Have a good time, Touya.”

“Later Touya-nii.”

Skipping outside, Touya closed the front door before facing forward, there he was, Kobe’s very own, Kaiji Sano aka Jinx aka Touya’s precious darling and the love of his life that he would slaughter hundreds for. Much like Touya, Kaiji was presenting himself as feminine today and was leaning against his pink convertible, he perked up upon seeing the birthday boy and pushed himself off to walk over to him, Touya quickly met him at the middle and threw his arms around him, holding onto him tightly as the two shared a sweet kiss.

“Happy birthday, my love~” Kaiji sang, brushing his nose against Touya’s, making him giggle and give another peck. “Thank you~ Sooooo, what are we gonna do today? You said you have something planned?”

Kaiji nodded and slowly released him, much to Touya’s disappointment but was content when Kaiji took his hand and gave a comforting squeeze. “Don’t you worry about a thing, love. I got the whole day and night planned out, also, I’ve talked with your parole officer into letting up your curfew today, I maaaaaay or may not have bribed them into doing so but at least you don’t have to worry about breaking rules, trust me, I’m going to make this your best birthday yet.” He winked.

Touya grinned widely and hugged Kaiji’s arm as the blue eyed male walked him to the car. “I don’t doubt it, Kai-chan.”

Kaiji opened the passenger door for him and Touya eagerly got in, Kaiji closed the door and went over to the driver’s seat, getting in and starting up the vehicle. After letting Touya choose the music, the two femboys were off to start their date.

— Later, Kobe Division —

Touya giggled and laughed as Kaiji drove them to their next destination, at this point the sun had completely disappeared over the horizon and it was fully night time now. The bluenette was bursting in happiness as he hugged the plushie that was sitting on his lap, the back seat of the vehicle was filled with other toys and shopping bags that had accumulated throughout the day. It had been a wonderful start, Kaiji had taken him out to an amusement park where the two of them had helped themselves to the various games and rides available, even ridden through a ‘love tunnel’ where the two took advantage of the dark environment to make out before leaving.

Then Kaiji took him shopping to his heart’s content, the white haired male had told him that there was no limit to what he wanted and that he was free to go wild to which Touya gladly took him up on that. In no time at all, the back of the car was filled with gift bags upon gift bags filled with clothes, toys, special toys, and even knives, all of which were placed next to the amusement park plushies they’ve won.

After that, Kaiji had taken him to a small yet cute cafe tucked into a little corner of the city where the two of them enjoyed a good meal and refreshing beverages as they caught up with each other, despite the last time they got together was last weekend.

All in all, it was a wonderful date and a great way to spend the rest of his birthday, Touya couldn’t help but let out a love filled sigh and reached his hand over to hold Kaiji’s, the other male immediately reciprocated and even lifted up to place a kiss on his knuckles, causing the blue haired male to fall even deeper in love with the other crossdresser. Kaiji glanced over at him and gave a small grin, thankfully due to his influence on extending his curfew, Touya could sleep over so long as he returned to Katsushika in the morning, of course Kaiji wasn’t going to let this go to waste which led them to now, despite everything that he’s done for him, Kaiji still had a few more surprises up his sleeve.

The two of them pulled into the hotel’s parking lot, Touya looked up at the large and sleek building in wonder, he could immediately tell that it was expensive and the serial killer was already getting excited at the thought of spending some quality time with his Kai-chan.

Kaiji turned off the car and went to open Touya’s passenger door, hand in hand, the two walked inside the nice looking hotel where Kaiji registered them for the penthouse suite, flashing a white card that the receptionist recognized and let them through with no problems, there were even a few employees that carried all their bags and prizes up to their suite.

Touya collapsed on the couch with a happy, content sigh and Kaiji nuzzled up to him not long after, the two of them simply enjoyed being in each other’s presence, even sharing a few kisses here and there. However, it came to an end when Kaiji let go and sat up with an unreadable expression on his face which Touya couldn’t help but notice. It wasn’t the first time, Kaiji had been acting slightly off the whole day, it might not have been noticeable to anyone else but it was glaringly obvious to Touya and he couldn’t help but be concerned as to what was bothering him.

“Kai-chan? Is everything alright?” Touya asked, fiddling with the fabric of a stray plushie, Kaiji adverted his gaze and slowly nodded, looking slightly conflicted which did not ease Touya’s worries at all. He tried, he really did but the more distant Kaiji was becoming, the more…not so pleasant thoughts began to push against Touya’s head, no, no, Kaiji wouldn’t hurt him like that, they understood each other better than most and they love each other more than anyone so why was he acting like this? Why was he suddenly growing distant? Did…did Kaiji not love him anymore—

“Touya!”

Touya blinked a few times, reality slowly coming back as Kaiji lightly shook him, a worried look on his face, the bluenette didn’t realize that he was strangling the “life” out of the plushie he was holding. Kaiji gently pulled it away from him and replaced it with his own hands, to which Touya squeezed like a lifeline and the snow haired male fought the urge to wince.

“Touya what’s wrong—“

“Do you still love me?!” Touya blurted out, causing Kaiji to pause in confusion, blinking a few times. “Huh?”

“You still love me right, Kai-chan? You wouldn’t leave me, right?! I’m trying! I’m trying to be better for you—“ Touya’s eyes filled up with tears as he started to ramble which only served to alarm Kaiji at the sight of watery pink eyes looking at him, immediately the cosplayer brought him into a hug, holding onto the blue haired boy tightly.

“Tou-chan, what are you talking about? Of course I still love you! That will never, ever change! Where is this all coming from?” Kaiji pulled back from the hug to wipe at the stray tears that did manage to fall from Touya’s eyes, the inmate sniffled and nuzzled his cheek into his hands. “You’re acting weird…you have been all this time today…is something wrong?”

Kaiji tensed up before relaxing and sighing softly, before Touya could ask again, Kaiji leaned in to give him a kiss on his forehead, then both eyelids, cheeks, before giving him a sweet kiss on the lips before pulling away with a blush on his cheeks and a soft look on his face, he then turned to reach his purse sitting on the table in front of them and pulled out a small white box.

Touya watched all of this, confused and curious as Kaiji handed the box to him to which he gently took and slowly opened with Kaiji’s encouragement. The killer’s eyes widened however as he looked at what was inside the box, which reveals to be…

…A pair of golden rings with pink heart shaped amethyst gems shining brightly on top.

Touya was effectively rendered speechless as he stared at the two beautiful pieces of jewelry with wide eyes and a slacked jaw, he whipped his head to look at Kaiji who was only staring at him with a smile on his face and pure adoration in his eyes.

“As much as I want to propose to you, I’ll refrain from doing that now, I want that moment to be even more special than this…but just know that I do want to marry you someday, Touya, you mean…everything to me and I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with someone else. I love you so much that it hurts and I’m sorry for ever making you feel as though I don’t, I was only nervous because I didn’t know how to approach this, I got these rings as a promise that when everything is said and done, we can be together forever without any worries or anyone bothering us.” Kaiji confessed, hands on Touya’s cheeks to wipe his tears once more as Touya could barely contain his sobs, this time however, these were tears of unadulterated joy as the inmate threw himself into Kaiji’s arms and kissed him on anywhere he could reach, desperately trying to convey his emotions and love through actions as words were failing him at the moment.

“K-kai-chan…I…hic…I l-love you!…hic…I love you s-so much! Y-you make me…so happy! T-thank you!” Touya finally let out as he tried to control his crying, burying his face into the curve of Kaiji’s neck as the white haired male held him and comfortingly rubbed his back. “I should be thanking you, darling, I’m so glad to have met you, and that you’re mine just as much as I’m yours.” Kaiji affectionately nudged his head against Touya’s, causing the other male to nuzzle closer into him.

The two stayed like that for a while until Touya was feeling better enough so that Kaiji could put the ring on his finger and vice versa, the bluenette almost bursting into tears yet again as he looked at the ring glimmering on his ring finger.

A loud ‘bang!’ interrupted the sweet and tender moment as the two of them snapped their heads over to where the noise originated which was behind the door of one of the many rooms in the suite, confused until Kaiji’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh fuck!” He yelled and jumped up, hurrying over to the door with Touya following closely behind, confused and intrigued to know what was going on.

“Ahh shit! I totally forgot about your final gift, I’m so sorry, Touya!” The white haired male whined as he quickly unlocked the door and flung it open, turning on the light as he walked in.

“Ehhh? More gifts?! Kai-chan, you’ve already done so much! What—“ Touya giggled and practically skipped inside after him, however, he stopped short after seeing what was in the room.

A balding, middle aged man was bound and gagged on the king sized bed, stripped down to nothing but his underwear and was desperately trying to break free of his restraints to no avail. He stopped at the sound of the door opening and paled at the sight of the two effeminate men that were standing in front of him, apparently that caused him to panic even more as he started back struggling to free himself and yelling for help despite the gag.

Kaiji scowled fiercely and walked up to the man before delivering a harsh punch against the man’s face, breaking his nose and causing blood to gush down his face, staining the gag as he whimpered in pain, quieting down.

“Shut the fuck up! You stupid piece of shit, you almost ruined my plans!” Kaiji snapped, twisting the man’s broken nose causing him to cry out. Touya, who was watching this go down, was eerily silent and calm throughout the whole thing, any normal person would’ve ran away screaming but not him, in fact, he was almost excited just looking at Kaiji brutalizing the man but he was curious about one thing.

“Kai-chan…what is this?” Touya tilted his head and Kaiji looked back his love with a warm smile, a complete contrast from how he just was like with the bleeding man on the bed.

“Your gift, the final one for today.” Kaiji let go of the man’s nose and wiped the blood on the sheets before walking up to Touya, grabbing his hands and pulling him even closer to the victim. “So I don’t really tell anyone this and I hope that you don’t either but you know how my eldest brother is a doctor? Has his own hospital and everything? Well, aside from what you see on TV and the news, my family also does business on the more…darker side of things, my older brother and father dabble in a bit of human trafficking, after all, how else do you think they get the organs for operations and such?”

Kaiji then shook his head, getting back on topic, he pointed at the man with a disgusted expression on his face. “But that’s besides the point, this guy is one of my brother’s patients, er, well, he was but I did some research on this fucker, he’s a real scumbag, you see? He gets off on watching child pornography and has even participated in it a few times…Tou-chan…one of his “favorites” were you…” The snow haired male frowned as Touya’s eyes widen and he froze in horror, memories of when he was a child and all the disgusting shit he was forced to do came back to him.

Seeing Touya start to shake made Kaiji hold him to help him ground himself back to reality, the crossdresser gently caressed his head as he continued to speak. “I called in a favor from dear old big brother to let me have this one, he deserved to pay for what he did to you, we won’t get in trouble, I promise, this pathetic piece of shit has no family, no friends, nothing worth anything to his name, nobody won’t even realize he’s gone and we’d be doing the world a favor to get rid of a waste of space like him.”

Touya said nothing as he stared dead at the cowering man on the bed, his head was a jumbled mess of emotions and murderous instincts, the only thing he could register were Kaiji’s words being whispered in his ear, the only solace in his hellscape of a mind. He barely registered Kaiji moving them to the cart of medical equipment and various weapons that was just standing slightly off to the side.

“Tou-chan.” Touya lifted his head to look at the love of his life, Kaiji smiled at him as he placed a knife in his hand, almost as if fitting two puzzle pieces together. “My last gift to you is a chance to make those that dared to hurt you as they did pay for their crimes, starting with this one.” He drew the serial killer into a kiss before grabbing knife of his own.

“Happy Birthday, my love.”

Red. Such a vivid hue, such a beautiful color, it was everywhere, from the walls, to the floor, to even the ceiling. The metallic smell of blood was overwhelming, almost completely filling Touya’s senses yet he wasn’t disgustedly by it, quite the opposite, as he watched Kaiji pry open the long since passed man’s chest cavity and pulled out his heart, cutting away at the muscles that were attached to it and presented the barely beating organ to him on his knees, like an actual proposal, Touya swore that he had never been so turned on in his entire life.

The organ was left discarded on the floor as the two landed on the bed, bodies intertwined and mouths sealed together against each other’s in a deep and hot kiss. Hands roaming, clawing, and pulling at hair and clothes as the two messily stripped themselves of their blood stained clothes-they were already covered head to toe in it, there was absolutely no saving those outfits-and completely ignoring the fresh carcass of the man that was just lying right next to them.

Touya’s breath picked up in excitement as Kaiji practically tore his dress off of him, slick pooling in between his thighs as Kaiji went to town on his neck, kissing biting, and sucking every inch of skin there was, leaving hickeys in their wake as he marked and claimed him as his, Touya mewling in bliss at the feeling. He slowly moved down the bluenette’s body, pressing kisses before getting towards his budding breast, enveloping a nipple into his mouth and sucking on it with fervor, drawing out a moan from Touya’s lips.

The taste of blood on his love’s skin was nothing short of addictive to Kaiji, who gently bit down on Touya’s nipple causing him to squeal, one hand kneading and squeezing his other tit and the other one trailing down his body to the one place that Touya needed him the most, sliding in two fingers inside and began pumping them in and out, Touya throwing his head back in pleasure, whimpering out pleas for 'more' as his hands twisted themselves into the bloodsoaked sheets.

Kaiji spent a good while lavishing Touya's chest with love, ignoring his own raging arousal as he continued to pleasure him with his hand, nearly fitting the entire thing in as he pumped four of his fingers inside of him, Touya had already came two times and was moaning loudly at the overstimulatuon, his thighs as well as the sheets below him were soaked in his cum, the squelching sound adding more to the depravity the two were reveling in. Kaiji let go of his nipple with a loud 'pop', smiling deviously at hard dark the flesh had gotten turning from a rosy pink to a dark red.

Pulling his fingers away, Touya whined and bucked his hips as Kaiji kissed down his body before settling himself in between the bluenette's legs, eyeing his wet cunt with hungry eyes, he could feel his cock twitch as he watched Touya's hole open and close, clenching on nothing before he moved forward to press a kiss right on his clit and began licking up his sweet juices.

Touya squealed and moved his hands to bury them into Kaiji's snowy locks, staining it red from the leftover blood, he tugged on it hard as he wrapped his legs around the cosplayer's head, bucking his hips as he grind his pussy against Kaiji's mouth, moaning loudly like a whore at every lick, suck, kiss, and even bite the white haired male lavished his soaking wet snatch with.

Touya's eyes rolled back when Kaiji plunged his tongue into his hole, hands going up to pry his legs open a little so he could rub and flick at his clit while he tonguefucked him, the inmate gasped and panted, the familiar tightening of his stomach coming back and he begged Kaiji to keep going, that he was almost there. The white haired crossdresser moved up to circle his tongue around his clit a few times before giving it a harsh suck and that was all it took for Touya to cum once more, coating Kaiji's face with his slick, back arching from the bed as he screamed out in euphoria, the sound was music to the cosplayer's ears as he went back down to lick the bluenette clean.

Touya panted as he came back down from his high, small little aftershocks of pleasure hitting him here and there as Kaiji sat up and leaned over him, licking his lips to gather whatever remained of the killer's juices, Touya's eyes darkened with lust and did not hesitate to pull him in for a deep kiss, the two of them moaned as they shared saliva as well as the taste of blood and Touya's arousal.

Touya shuddered and spread his legs wider as he felt Kaiji grind against him, a sticky and wet sound sounded throughout the room as the snow haired male rubbed his cock between Touya's folds making the bluenette whine and pull away from the kiss, the two effeminate men looked at each other. Love, lust, need, and something much, much darker was held in their eyes and for a moment, it was just the two of them and the fucked up love that they shared with each other.

The bloodstained rings on their fingers only solidified their love for each other.

"Kai-chan..." Touya breathed out, placing a hand on the other male's cheek and gave him a lewd grin. "Fuck me."

The moment he finished talking, Kaiji was slamming into him with long and loud moan.

There was no need for any adjustments or breaks, they didn't need it, Kaiji immediately started to thrust and pick up momentum, slamming into Touya with such force that it caused the serial killer to grip the sheets again to steady himself, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his tongue lolled out as he felt Kaiji reach the deepest parts inside of him with every thrust, he wrapped his legs around the other man's waist to keep him locked in and pushed him deeper. Touya also tightened his hold around the cosplayer's neck, relishing in the way he bit and sucked everywhere his mouth could reach.

"F-feel..ah!..good..I-I love-mmf!-it, I love y-you...m-more-aahhn-I w-want more!" Touya moaned out, proclamations of love mixed with whorish and wanton noises as he felt his brain slowly turn to mush the more Kaiji pounded into him.

"Haah...mm...fuck, Tou-chan...y-you're...so fucking cute-ah!-shiiiiit, you're s-so tight...nngh, I love you too, y-you're mine...forever." Kaiji gritted out before slamming his lips against Touya's in a bruising kiss, one that Touya reciprocated eagerly. The bed rocked at a fast pace as the two kept going at each other like a pair of wild animals, still not acknowledging the corpse that was being shuffled off the bed.

Kaiji leaned up and grabbed Touya's legs, said male yelped when Kaiji pushed them up so that his knees were at his chest and positioned him into a mating press where he continued to drill into him. The sudden shift was enough to finally make the corpse fall from the bed, landing on the floor with a loud 'thump!' and a gross squishy noise, neither paid it any attention as they were too caught up on chasing their high together, Touya's mindless babbling soon deteriorated into wanton moaning, drool dripping down his chin and eyes nearly rolled back to his skull as he took whatever Kaiji gave him.

"S-shit, fuck! I'm fucking close! C-c'mon, let's cum together.." The cosplayer gave him a peck on the nose as one of his hands let go of his leg and went down to play and rub at his clit, all while Kaiji increased the speed and force of his thrusting, on the verge of climaxing.

Touya jolted and opened his mouth to let out a soundless scream, his back aching high to the ceiling as he came hard, clenching and squirting so much cum on Kaiji's dick, the latter let out a choked moan, his thrusting becoming sloppy before stopping and filling his cunt up with his seed, all the way to the womb. Touya shivered and sighed contentedly at the feeling, he had never felt so loved until now and the white, creamy liquid spilling out of him when Kaiji pulled out only proved it, despite everything, despite what happened to him and what he's done, there was still someone out there that truly loved him.

Kaiji laid next to him on the other side and helped turn Touya to face him, the two shared a smile, giggled at one another, and leaned in to kiss once more.

"I hope you enjoyed your birthday, love." Kaiji sighed out blissfully as they parted, Touya grinned and looked at the promise ring on his finger and nodded. "I really did, thank you, Kai-chan, for everything."

Before Kaiji could respond, Touya immediately sat up and climbed onto the white haired male's lap, Kaiji's question died on the tip of his tongue as he let out a gasp when Touya grasped at his cock and pumped him back to firmness once more, the bluenette only gave an impish giggle and batted his lashes at the cosplayer.

"You're so good to me, Kai-chan, let me pay you back, okay? I promise you'll like it~♡"

Happy Birthday Touya! 💗

@katsushika-division

[mg-dango]

I was gonna wait until I had a backstory for this sad boi, but the truth is I've been a bit lazy with him so I said "fvck it" and decided to post it now and then write the character sheet later

He doesn´t have a lore as wild as Dientes (Sorry that one is the favorite lol), but some interesting thins about him:

He´s a combat medic

Kinda a bit of a nepobaby, since he´s Natalya "Raptor" Orlov grandson and that maaaaaay have influenced some connections in the russian army

He´s very tall and when many people meet him at first, they are intimidated by his scary look, however, once you know him he´s actually a cinnamon roll.

Ok when I first made him, I didn´t know there was a character in the first call of duty games that's also named "Aleksei Ivanovich" but that´s just coincidence those two aren´t related at all

that´s pretty much everything I have from him until now, sorry Aleksei you´re like the middle child of my OCs/j

[carsonsweebabyturtles]

Okay this is totally random, but I hope it's okay. I'm looking for an SGA fanfiction and I was hoping maybe you and/or your followers could help me out? :D It's really random, sorry. I've read it... oh, roughly ten years ago, but maybe even more. The fanfic was definitely on ff.net. It wasn't long. I really clearly remember that it took place on like an ice planet or something like that. It was something along the lines of: the team goes to this planet, but unexpectedly they encounter the genii and they have to run away for some reason. Rodney or John fall into this ravine or something, and his leg gets hurt. They communicate via radios (I think) but the one who fell into the ravine can't hear the others only John/Rodney (still not sure who fell) and as he goes looking for the hurt one he also falls in and the other is like "great, now it's the two of us down here" and then they have to wait for the others to show up and save them, until then they're cold and stuff. It maaaaaay have been mslash, but if it was, it wasn't like super important I think. It was really well-written, especially the character voices. I tried to find it myself and found something similar but that either wasn't the one I was looking for or time made my memory of the quality and quantity better. :D I hope maybe someone can help me out with this. I don't know where else to ask this, so again, sorry for being random. :D Also, this was a long time ago, it may not even be available anymore and since I'm bilingual it may not even had been in English (although I'm fairly sure it was!). Thanks for any help you can give me and have a nice day!! :)

Hi. Don't be sorry as I'm glad to help. I know how frustrating looking for a fic and not being able to find it is. Unfortunately, I don't use ff.net and I don't recognise the plot. But, I'm sure some of my followers will. I'll tag the ones who I think are more likely to be able to help and fingers crossed together we can get you the fic you are looking for.

@cassiope25 @logicgunn @dedkake Any of you recognise the fic? Or anyone else recognise it?

[runicmagitek]

RE: my health bullshit, I finally - FUCKING FINALLY - got a damn opening at the hospital for cancer screening. I've been trying. Since MAAAAAAY (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I'm really hoping I don't have cancer and it's just My Usual Health Bullshit, But Worse. I'll know more by next Wednesday tho, which is better than waiting until February of next fucking year.

Sigh... I'm so tired 😣 hopefully I'll have some answers soon.

[apocalypticwafflekitten]

Never Too Much

Maul x ASD!Reader 

A/N: I am SO ASHAMED OF HOW LONG IT’S TAKEN ME TO GET THIS OUT HOLY CRAP I”M SO SORRY! BUT IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!! YAY!!! ...pretty please forgive me! (Also, If anything is wrong or offensive, please please let me know so that I can fix it! I tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible, but I’m used to writing with a female reader in mind, so if I’ve slipped up and missed anything that would label a gender, feel free to let me know as well! Other than that, I hope you enjoy this story!)

Original Imagine/Summary: This is for the lovely @localnightmare13! They requested a story with a gender-neutral reader who has ASD and is a little insecure about it. But we all know that Maul is always ready to make you feel loved and cherished in this world, so it’ll be alright!

Warnings: I’m not... I’m not sure if I’ve made it 100% crystal clear, but the reader has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)! So if that throws you off your rhythm, then by all means, you don’t have to read this story!

Other than that, miiiiild angst if you squint. It’s mostly the reader feeling insecure about themselves, and wondering about their relationship with Maul. There is crying involved, so you maaaaaay want tissues. Maybe?

Word Count: 2.6k

He could feel you walk up beside him, though it wasn’t the tapping of your shoes against the smooth floor, nor was it the soft brush of your hand on his shoulder that told him you were here.  

It was a ripple through the force. A wave of worry. A spike of something else he couldn’t quite place.  

But you smiled at him. A large smile, like always, as if nothing was wrong. He was baffled, confused, but he decided to ask later. After the syndicate meeting perhaps. 

~~~~~~

The members of the syndicate gathered before the throne, and chatted to themselves while they waited on you and Maul to arrive.  

It had been a while since you had lead a meeting. Your last mission had you bedridden with a nasty wound to your side for weeks while you healed. This was the first time you’d be leading a meeting in nearly a month and Maul could feel your stress shedding from you in waves. 

As you entered the room, you resisted the urge to wring your fingers in your hand, but despite your nerves, you missed leading the meetings. You enjoyed knowing about everything that was going on in the syndicate, and you enjoyed getting a say in how it was run. It was a fun job for you.  

That is, it usually was. But for some reason, unknown Maul, today you were trembling.  

Still, even in your fear, you held your head high and began the meeting as normal. 

“What do you plan to do about the Pyke’s incessant demands for increased revenue on a quarterly basis.”  

There was a beat of silence as all waited for your response.

“What do you plan to do? What do you plan to do?” (Y/N) muttered under their breath, “What do you plan to do?”

You paused for a second before speaking,

“The Pykes will face an ultimatum. Settle with a singular 5% increase for this standard year with potential for growth in the coming years, or face no increase for the foreseeable future. It seems to me that their annual profit is quite sufficient as is, but their loyalty is important to this syndicate.” You answered in a confident tone. 

“Only a five percent increase?” The Pyke representative scoffed as he huffed into the room.  

You shuddered, startled by the brash, nearly offended tone the representative held.

But before you could stutter together a drefute, Maul was already speaking.

“You should realize the generosity put forth by this offer,” He warned with an edge to his voice, “I would have offered less. Your loyalty is only important to the survival of this syndicate. Not crucial. There are many others who would gladly take your place. And your tardiness inclines me to speak on behalf of this deal’s overruling.” 

The Pyke representative grumbled at Maul’s reprimand, but agreed to the deal nonetheless. He sat quietly in his seat for the rest of the meeting, knowing better than to challenge you or Maul. 

“Are there anymore concerns you wish to bring to the table?” You ask, and Maul doesn’t fail to notice the way you rub the palm of your hand in fast, worried, repetitive circles with your thumb. Nor does he miss the sharp spikes of fear that shivered their way across the Force.  

That was strange. Especially for you. He knew you. You were never one to fear meetings like this. You’d held so many of them that it was like a routine at this point. You didn’t fear the syndicate leaders, and you knew how to deal with their demands. Then again, you were just getting back from a long leave, and a lot had changed since the last meeting. Maybe that was the cause of your distress. 

“Maul, dear?”  

Your voice pulled Maul from his musings, back to the throne room and the present meeting.

“Yes (Y/N)?”  

“The Black Sun leaders had some questions for you regarding the additional tax on their income.” 

And so Maul delved into discussions with the Black Sun, but in the back of his mind he was still worried about your fear, and why it had reared it’s terrifying head this day.  

~~~~~~

There was an uncomfortable, prickling itch at the back of Maul’s neck the rest of the day. His chest would feel constricted; he would shudder out heaving breaths. And yet, he was fine. He knew he was. It was you that he was feeling. You and the worries that consumed you today.  

He wanted to take the day off. He wanted to be by your side if you needed him, or free to be there even if you wanted space.  

But today was full of meetings, paperwork, and every other responsibility ever imagined for a royal. It seemed that today was jam packed with everything he didn’t want to do, not sparing even five minutes to be with his darling.

It was all too much when, in the middle of a pitch meeting for new city developments, Maul felt a jabbing pain at his temple, and stinging in his eyes. Something had gone wrong. 

“So, if we can, the city would greatly benefit from the addition of --”  

“Senator.” Maul cut them off. The senator stopped, confused and visibly displeased, “Something urgent has come up, and it is necessary that I attend to it. We can continue this discussion at a later date. I’ll send you the details as late as tomorrow morning.” 

Maul stood from his chair and rushed out of the room, leaving a confused and frustrated senator in his wake. 

The stabbing pain returned, searing a grimace on his face as he reached out to feel for you in the Force. 

Oh my love? What’s gone wrong?  

~~~~~~

He found you in the middle of the garden’s greenhouse. He heard your crying first. The anguished wails jabbing right into his heart. Then he saw you huddled on the floor, clutching your ears; your eyes screwed shut  in what he could only imagine to be the intense, stinging pain.

He was by your side, kneeling next to you in a second.  

His eyebrows knit, and he had to keep himself from touching you, realizing the severity of your sensitive state. He had to be careful.

“My darling,” Maul ventured with as gentle a voice as he could, “Love, what is it? How can I help you?”  

It took a second, but you responded with shivering hyperventilations.

“Its...it’s too much....There’s too much sound, too much light. I...I need it to be quiet...I-I need everything to sto-op.”    

There was a flash of panic. This had happened before, yes. Maul knew what to do, but still, there was just the smallest worry that he wouldn’t be able to help you. That no matter what he did, he couldn’t ease your senses’ sensitivity.  

But he couldn’t dwell on that worry right now. He had to take care of you. He figured your room would be the most comfortable place. With the blinds closed, and the room far away from any commotion in the palace, it should be a good spot for you. 

“Is it okay if I pick you up?” Maul asked, “I can get you somewhere dark and quiet, but I need to pick you up.”  

Your eyes cracked open just the littlest bit to see him hovering above you. Your nod was small, but it was enough. Maul scooped you into his arms and carried you to your room as quick as he could.  

The sheets were cool and soft against your skin. A welcome feeling to pull your attention from all the noise. Except now there was no noise. It was quiet, and the room was dark enough that only a shadow of Maul’s outline could be seen. 

He wrapped you in the sheets which offered you their soft, sweet embrace. The darkness was gentle. Plush like a cloud so that could rest, far away from the garden’s garish light. And the quiet....oh the quiet. It was a wave of relief. A wave of peace. You felt weightless in all this silence. Your muscles let go of their tension, and you could breathe again; loose and free. There was only one sound came through minutes later to break the blessed silence.  

“My darling?” His voice was smooth. Gentle, unlike the crickets and chirping birds from the garden. His voice was the only sound you were willing to welcome now.

“Hmm?”  

“Would you like me to stay with you, or would you prefer to be alone?”  

“Alone for now please,” Your voice was a whisper, sounding far too loud within your head than it should, “I’ll come out to finish my duties in a little while; once I’m feeling better.”  

“You needn’t worry about that my dear. You can rest for the remainder of the day if you wish.” He whispered, gently stroking some hair away from your face. 

“Thank you Love.” You left a kiss on the palm of his hand and closed your eyes, slipping into blissful silence once again.

~~~~~~

It wasn’t until later that day that Maul got the chance to talk to you.  

The night was cool. Leftover light peeked over the horizon as the sun fell across the sky.

When you walked into your bedroom that evening, your face was sullen, and he felt that sharp sting of fear ripple in the Force.

Maul stood from the bed, brows furrowed, and came to stand behind you where you stood at the dresser. His hands traveled to your shoulders and started rubbing little circles across your shoulders as he asked the question that had been on his mind all day.

“My darling love, what’s going on? You’ve been so quiet today. Every time you walk by me, there’s a cry in the force. What’s hurting you?”  

His plea was almost desperate. How he wished he could help you, but he didn’t know what was wrong. It was eating away at him horribly.

You stood still for a moment, meeting his eyes. The sincerity there, the care. It brought your dam down. Tears flowed as you pulled away from him, unable to pull your worries from your throat. 

“(Y/N)?”  

Maul’s eyes widened and you could see the second his heart snapped. You pulled away from him. You had never done that before. 

“My dear why do you back away?” He whispered to you with an outstretched hand. His voice trembled as he spoke, “...Have I done something dear?”  

You whipped your head up to look at him. 

“Oh. No. No Maul. It’s not you. It’s just...” You sniffle as Maul lets out a bated breath. It was a slow breath, but he was relieved in some small sense that he wasn’t the cause of your problem.

He watched you intently as you struggled to find words. HIs eyes bore into you. The gold of them burned with concern, and the crease in his brows; the frown on his face. You turned yourself, unable to look at him as the guilt built in your gut. There’s was silence before your voice rang through.

“Do you..do you like being with me?”  

Maul’s eyes widened further, impossibly so before he stepped closer to you.  

“What?” His voice was weak. For once in his life, Maul could say that he was scared, and he wasn’t hiding it well. 

“Well, um, do you like being with me?”You asked again, “I know I’m a lot to handle sometimes, I mean, look at what happened this afternoon!” An annoyed huff left you, “Someone else would probably make your life easier, and I just-“

Maul rushed forward and grappled you into an almost bone-crushing hug. You could feel his nose brushing at your neck as his arms held tight.

“You are never, and could never be too much for me to handle. No one could make my life easier than you. And even if they could, I wouldn’t want it. They wouldn’t be you. No one else could come close to you. There will be hardships, yes, and this afternoon carried such a hardship, but I’ve never loved you less for them, nor will I ever. Darling, where do these thoughts come from? Why do you doubt my love?” Maul pleaded, holding your shoulders tight, his eyes desperately begging for an answer.

‘Its...It’s not...I know you love me.” You breathed, trying to figure out how in the world you were going to explain this, “I”m just worried that....that I...well, my.....my disorder...I was a mess in that meeting, and I was a mess this afternoon, and I know that I’ve been away for a while, but I just...I worry that I’m...that I’m not enough. For the people, for the city...for you.” 

He’s still. Stone-still to the point that you couldn’t tell if he was still breathing. But your quiet sniffles seemed to break him, and his eyes began to fill with tears.

“My darling,” His voice was so sincere, “The city, these people, even the syndicate will never weigh your worth based on your disorder. And neither will I. Ever. I know it’s hard for you. Some days more than most. Even if I don’t share the experience, watching you is enough to know that your hardships take a heavy toll.”  

He paused, watching you. Gaging your response; the widening of your eyes, and the knitting of your brows. When you said nothing, he took it as his cute to continue.  

“My dear, you care so much for others, see the good in others, but you don’t ever seem to see it in yourself. The way you feel for the people around you astounds me. The way you hold their opinions and needs so close to your heart, and try to do for them everything that you can, it’s a completely different perspective. It inspires me. You give this job, this world, this life a meaning. You make me want to try my love. You give me a reason to push past the hardships, and keep trying. And that’s so much more than enough.”  

 A moment of silence.

You felt gutted. You wanted to cry, and squeal, and scream, and sob. Was that...He....? He really means all of that? You’re...you’re enough?” 

“Darling?” Maul’s voice broke through your clouded thoughts; a wave of concern rippling into your ears. 

You don’t think, you just cling to him, holding him as close to you as you can, s sob ripping itself from your throat. 

You can’t stop the sobbs, and the tears, and the aching in your chest that feels like you’re being constricted. Gosh, why is it so hard to breathe?  

“I know my dear. I know. Let it out. Yout deserve to let it out,” He whispered as he stroked your hair and held you tight. “I hope that someday you’ll be able to see yourself the way I see you...the way everyone sees you. Until then, I’ll hold you tight and tell you everything wonderful about yourself until you can believe me. Until you can see the good in yourself.”  

Your sobs died down to a whimper, and you lifted your puffy, watery eyes to look at Maul.  

It took a second before you could speak; lingering whimpers and sniffles stuck in your throat. 

But when you were able to, you spoke with a quiet voice, so full of gratitude and love, and tenderness that Maul was almost thrown back by the ripple created in the force. 

“Thank you Maul. So, so much.” 

“Anytime my dear. Anytime.” He whispered once again, tenderly wiping a tear from your cheek before placing the gentlest of kisses to your forehead.  

You swear you had never felt so loved as you did that night. It was a night that would live with you for the rest of your life.   

~~~~~~~

Tags! 

@justalittlecloud @fanficsforheartandsoul​

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Helloo if you don't mind can i get juminxv fluffy hcs? Please take your time and hope you get well soon <3

Thank you! Last week was crazy with the ton of homework I had due for Friday, and I had a Japanese oral exam the next day! When I have tons of stuff I just get a bit down, which is why I sometimes take a bit writing, but thank you for waiting! And thank you for your kind words!

Also if you want some nsfw ones you know where to find me

JuminxV fluffy headcanons:

Oh boy, first of all, the childhood friends to lovers trope is completely adorable.

I like to imagine that when they were kids, Jumin was admiring V from a distance, and he actually fell for him pretty early on.

After all, V was the one that understood Jumin the most, and that actually liked him for him.

When they were in school, they would always be together.

They would hold each other’s hands while they walked from place to place, and they could speak only by looking at each other! Their classmates were just like: 👁👄👁

When they were a bit older, Jumin sort of realized his feeling for his friend, but since they were both form a very, well, let’s just say that since they were young they knew that their parents disapproved of that kind of stuff, which is why Jumin tried to ignore his feelings.

At one point he even started avoiding V, but then when he saw how it was ruining their relationship, he decided to act like nothing was bothering him.

When they were adults, Jumin was staying over at V’s house, since he was currently on vacation from college.

There, they tried out some wine, and since it was their first time, they maaaaaay have gotten a bit drunk. And V maaaaay have kissed Jumin.

Of course they acted like nothing happened, I mean they were just supposed to be friends! They couldn’t....they couldn’t be something more...right?

When Jumin got back, he and V acted like normal, but he felt a hole in his chest.

One night, when Jumin drank a lot, he started talking to V about his feelings.

V had never really seen Jumin cry...but that time...it was the first time he saw his friend shed a tear.

Then and there, V confessed to Jumin, and well, they decided to make things official!

Their date will mostly include going to art exhibitions, or drinking wine while listening to their favorite music.

Sometimes Jumin will grab V’s hand and the two of them will dance around the room.

At night Jumin will be the big spoon, V needs hugs dammit

When they go to parties, they go together. Sometimes they might sneak off and no one will see them for a while until they appear again, Jumin will have a nonchalant expression in his face but V will be smiling widely and be a bit red.

Jumin spoils V rotten, and V, not used to it also spoils Jumin.

Their relationship is really tight, since the two of them are really attached to each other.

When Jumin has business trips he will take V with him to take some pictures or paint, since at one point he managed to convince V to follow his passion for art!

They started living together after dating for almost a year. They hadn’t really told their parents yet, and they didn’t intend to, since they both knew they wouldn’t understand.

But one day, Jumin’s father came with a marriage proposal with this other woman...

And V is not one to get jealous easily...but oh boy.

Get ready for an angry boyo.

He barges into the meeting and grabs Jumin by the hand, and he tells both Sarah and Jumin’s father that Jumin isn’t marrying anyone.

When they wonder what’s going on, Jumin smiles at V, and when Sarah starts yelling and shit, he looks at her straight (the only time he’s been straight lmao) in the eyes and kissed V then and there.

Chairman Han is shocked and well, it takes a bit for him to take in the news.

But after some time, and also long chats with his son, he understands that he actually really likes V.

Even though he may not well, like it entirely, Chariman Han stubbornly lets V and Jumin stay together.

After a few years, Jumin proposes to V when they’re visiting Europe, and there, they get married.

A few years later, they adopt a little girl from Vietnam, who is only two years old.

While Jumin is working, V will be teaching the kid how to paint and take pictures.

Sometimes both V and Jumin will take their little girl to the park, where they will take turns carrying her!

V also has like 100 photos of Jumin and their kid stored somewhere.

There will be pictures of Jumin with a crown and cape playing tea party with their girl, or the two of them dancing with her stepping on his feet.

But his favorite one is a picture he took when he came home from an exhibition, he went to their room and he found them both asleep, Jumin holding a book he was reading to her.

He definetly has that picture framed somewhere and kept as a background for his computer.

[haledamage]

Bless Me With Your OTP

Rules: answer as many of the following questions as you want, and add art/screenshots to show off your OTP!

Tagged by @queen-scribbles​ :D tagging… @allisondraste​ @risualto​ @serenbach86​ @shimmer-like-agirl​ @ariela-of-aedyr​

I’m gonna do Vesiya/Jorgan because that’s who I’m writing right now :)

I feel like I’ve already answered most of these, in some variation, with Kai and both her boys as well as Cait/Nate, and this way I don’t have to choose a Bravo Boy for Kira :P

Do they fight often? If so, what is their dynamic like?

They butt heads a lot when they first met. They’re both headstrong and natural leaders, but it wasn’t so much fighting as it was posturing.

Now that they’ve settled down around each other, they don’t fight, but they do have Disagreements that mostly involve them both using their Commanding Officer voice and referring to each other entirely by their rank rather than by name. It doesn’t happen often, they agree with each other most of the time, and when it does happen it’s almost always about work things not about personal things. Ves will only pull rank to stop an argument if they’re in public, and she hates doing it.

They will, however, fight anyone and everyone on each others’ behalf. They will pick a fight with the Supreme Chancellor himself if they think he’s insulting their spouse. That part started all the way back at Ord Mantell, long before they’d even considered a romantic relationship - really, even before they were friends. Ves almost lost command of Havoc as soon as she got it because she argued so strongly against Jorgan’s demotion.

Who is the most skeptical of the two?

Definitely Jorgan, which I’m sure surprises no one. The man’s never believed a single word that comes out of a politician’s mouth, and only half that come out of Republic Command. And don’t even get him started on what he thinks of the SIS. While Ves is certainly not a push-over by any means, she’s a lot more likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt than he is.

Who would be most likely to suggest a night of dancing?

Ves. She loves dancing and is very good at it, though her experience with it is mostly either by herself at a cantina or out with a group of friends. Jorgan surprises her when she asks him to dance by saying yes, and surprises her again by being skilled at it. She even lets him lead… for a little while. I’m actually in the middle of writing this scene as we speak

What would they do if the other was injured in battle?

If Jorgan is injured, Ves’s first priority is getting him away from the fighting and out of harm’s way. As long as he’s conscious, Jorgan’s going to keep fighting, and she can’t help him if he’s still fighting. She’s not above ordering him to stand down. Her second priority is healing him. She’s a trained medic, though not as skilled as Elara she’s definitely good enough to deal with an injury in the field until they can get to a medcenter to take care of it properly. Even at the medcenter, she prefers to treat his wounds herself if she can, rather than let Elara or the medical droid do it; if it’s not something she has the power to treat, she hovers, needing to be useful or have something to do to help.

If Hallis is injured, I feel really sorry for whoever hurt her. The first thing Aric does is make sure it’s not life threatening, and if it is, to patch it up enough to stabilize her. He’s no medic, but he’s been in the field for a long time and knows how to patch a wound enough that it won’t kill you anymore, even if he can’t do much more than that. The second thing he does is kill whatever is responsible for hurting Ves and anyone that might be working with them. Then he gets her to Elara or a medcenter as fast as he can. He refuses to leave the room while she’s being treated, and won’t leave her side until she’s recovered.

How do their fighting styles complement each other?

If Ves had had any say in who the first member of Havoc Squad could have been, she’d have still picked Aric. She’s an assault cannon specialist, he’s a sniper, so generally she goes in loud to draw the enemy out and he takes them out as soon as they pop their heads out of cover. Quick, clean, surgical, with barely a word spoken between them. Honestly, by the time she’s promoted to Captain, the two of them can clear an entire battleship without a word, they understand each other on such a fundamental level that they don’t need to call out corners or targets anymore. There’s a reason Havoc ends up with the reputation it does, and it sure as hell ain’t because of Tavus and his squad.

Do they want children? Does it frighten them? How many do they want?

Vesiya would love to have kids. Her brother’s kids are the light of her life and she’d love to have some of her own someday. Jorgan I don’t think had ever really considered it before, he’s a career man through and through, but things change after he meets Ves. And after she was missing for those five years… when he gets her back, I think family is a much higher priority to him then than his career ever was.

I don’t think Cathar and Mirialan are reproductively compatible, but adoption is an option, and one I think they’d both be happy with. I could see them with a whole litter of kids from various races.

As parents, they’d both be a little on the strict side, but fair. Ves is great with kids, and very patient, and Jorgan would be a fantastic dad once he warmed up to it. Can you imagine, a little army of younglings following him around?

What happened when they took them home to their families? If their families aren’t in the picture anymore, how do they feel about it?

I maaaaaay already have some fic ideas floating around for this. 

I don’t know if Jorgan has any family? I can’t remember if he mentions it, he hasn’t so far in my playthrough, and the last one was years ago, so I’m gonna skip that. If he does, I’ll edit this and come back to it :) 

But Ves’s family adores Aric. She comes from a very Republic-centered family - her mother is a senator, her father a retired admiral, her twin brother and his wife are both SIS, and she has a younger brother who’s a Jedi (though she hasn’t seen him in like 15 years since he first showed Force sensitivity because Jedi can’t have attachments and all that) - so chances are good that he’d met some of them before he met her, or that they’d already heard of him at least. He makes a better first impression with them than he did with Ves XD

Vitrin, her twin, is probably the slowest to come around, but only because he’s very protective of his sister, and Vit’s wife Lena is the fastest to accept him because she���s got really good instincts about people. Ves’s nieces, Scout and Zan (Scout is a nickname, her name is actually Kesiya (after her aunt, sort of), but no one calls her that anymore), are already calling him Uncle Aric before they’ve finished that first dinner.

After Ves is declared MIA, Jorgan still keeps in touch with her family - though at first, mostly at their insistence. Vit and Lena have a 3rd kid while Ves is “missing” and they name him Aric, and if that doesn’t tell you how much they love him, I don’t know what will.

How does each person show affection towards the other?

Both of their main love language is Acts of Service, so the biggest way they show affection is by doing things for each other. Jorgan does weapon checks and makes sure Ves’s armor is in good working order, that she’s as safe as he can make her. Hallis makes sure he isn’t hurt, checking for injuries after every combat situation even when he claims he’s fine (he is not always fine. He doesn’t like to worry her about the small stuff. She worries anyway); she does most of the talking, especially to politicians, so he doesn’t have to. Whichever of them wakes up first makes sure the other has a cup of caf waiting for them. They watch each other’s backs.

Besides that, Aric likes to give gifts. Not big ones, necessarily, though he does some of those, too, but a lot of little things. Like a beer at a cantina after the end of a long mission, or an upgrade for her cannon that he knows she had her eye on. Little things that say “I was thinking about you” or prove how well he knows her and what she likes.

Ves likes physical affection. A hand on Jorgan’s shoulder or his arm, a quick kiss before a mission, she’s especially fond of the forehead lean. She won’t do much more than that in public, they’re both very professional, but it’s still her way to silently say “I’m here with you, I love you”. In private, there will never be such a thing as too many hugs. She could wrap herself around him and just stay there all day and be happy.

Who cries the most? Who is better at comforting?

Oh boy, neither of them are big criers. I won’t say they’re repressed, because they aren’t, they both are fairly good at expressing emotion, especially for career soldiers, but any strong enough negative emotion that would elicit tears mostly just turns to anger for both of them. There are a few major exceptions, but they all revolve around that pesky time Ves was pronounced dead for a few years. That was obviously a very hard time for Aric, and when Ves got free she had to make peace with the idea that she’d missed five years. She definitely had at least one very large breakdown.

If I had to pick one, I’d probably say Ves cries more, if only just and only very rarely. And only in absolute privacy where no one can see it at all.

Ves is probably better at comforting, by merit of having a lot of family, especially young children. Or rather, she’s very good at verbal comfort, but Jorgan is probably better at physical comfort. Just look at him. Clearly the man gives good hugs, just look at those arms. Plus, don’t Cathar purr? :)

Who is the bigger flirt?

Jorgan, believe it or not. He’s the one that initiates, most of the time, and Hallis just plays off of what he says. Neither of them are very good at blatantly stating their feelings for each other for a really long time, but admitting attraction is easier. They’re very playful flirts, much more playful than they are in absolutely any other aspect of their lives. It’s a dance, a push and pull, a subtle competition between them. They flirt for a long time before they ever make a step toward an actual relationship.

They very, very rarely ever flirt in public, and when they do it’s always just a quiet aside, not meant to be heard by anyone else, and it’s never anything incriminating. Poor Elara, though, for having to put up with these two. Patience of a saint, that woman. Anyone else would have thrown them out the airlock ages ago.

Of course, it takes them months to get to the point where they’re comfortable enough with each other to start flirting. And outside of each other, they don’t flirt. Like, at all. Ves didn’t even flirt with Balkar.

[squashedbananatk]

A Date To Remember

I watched Far From Home today! Woo! IT. WAS. AWSOME! Warning: Spoilers.... I guess? Not really.

Ever since MJ found out Peter was Spiderman and they started officially dating, their dates have become rather bizarre but thats how they liked them. They mostly consisted of swinging around town, grabbing a bite to eat and then hanging out on-top of a flat roof somewhere. Today was no different.

As Peter finished the last bite of his sandwich yawning as if to break the silence. Both him and MJ were sitting leaning against some kind of metal wall on a roof looking over the city.

“You gotta stop pretending to drop me Peter, otherwise one of these days you’re actually gonna drop me.” MJ spoke up.

“C-mon, you really think I would let you fall?” Peter asked before hesitantly wrapping his arm around her before awkwardly leaning his head on her shoulder.

“You almost did earlier!” May argued playfully lightly smacking his face with his own mask in her hand.

“I’m just tired today.” Peter replied eyes growing slightly heavy. Peter indeed was very tired, he had been fighting bad guys at night, doing school during the day, taking MJ on dates, it’s a lot.

“Yeah well you gotta be more care-“ MJ was cut off by Peter’s head flopping over. MJ smiled while rolling her eyes. She gently grabbed Peter’s shoulders and laid his head down on her lap. Peter was half asleep so he didn’t object and soon Peter’s light snoring was all that could be heard for the next half hour.

MJ by now was getting a little stiff in her position and stretched her arms out in front of her then laid one hand on Peter’s side. Peter flinched at the contact as MJ lightly rubbed Peter’s side, almost like how a mother rubs their kid’s back. What MJ didn’t know was that her nails where quite tickley. Peter twitched again as a small smile formed on his face. She then heard Peter groan before shifting in her lap.

“Maaaaaay, no tihickling...” Peter mumbled in his sleep. MJ smiled at that. Such a dork, but of course MJ being MJ she wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass by after hearing this new information.

She gently moved her hand down before lightly gliding her nails along her boyfriend’s stomach. Peter twitched again as a small giggle escaped his lips.

“Mahay, nohot right now...” before he slowly opened his eyes. As Peter slowly became aware of his surroundings he realized the position he was in. D-Did he fall asleep on MJ?

Peter slowly turned his head to look up to find MJ’s smiling face. His face instantly went beet red.

“M-M-M-MJ! I-I I’M SO SORRY! I-I Uh!” Peter scrambled off her instantly hiding his red face in his hands. MJ laughed before scooting over so she was next to him.

“Peter, its fine! It was.... actually really cute...” MJ said as he cheeks flushed a little. Peter peeked an eye through his fingers to look at MJ.

“But you know what’s even cuter?” MJ asked leaning in as if for a kiss.

“W-W-What?” Peter asked removing his hands from his face leaning to face MJ.

“You’re” MJ paused before getting even closer.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Ticklish!” MJ exclaims before skittering her fingers on Peter’s sides. Peter yelped before toppling over hugging his sides.

“Hahahahahaha! MJ! Whahahahat thehehe hehehehehell?!” Peter laughed as he rolled onto his back trying to grab at her hands. Could things get any more embarrassing?

“Now I know what May meant with you ‘Peter Tingle’!” Apparently yes.

“Th-Thahahahats nohohot what shehehe meheheans!” Peter laughed his face getting even redder. Since when was he this ticklish? He was sure his damn suit was making it worse! Or at least thats what he kept telling himself.

“H-Hohohohohow did you? Whohohoho tohohohohold you!” Peter giggled out.

“You did you doofus! In your sleep!” MJ laughed

“I thought yohohohohohou whehehehehere Mahahahahahahy!ahahahaha!” Peter replied grabbing onto MJ’s shoulders as she was now looming over him practically pinning him down.

“Well sorry to disappoint but I am not May! I am MJ the Tickler the greatest enemy Spiderman has ever faced! Feel my wrath!” MJ teased as she lowers her hands down onto Peter’s stomach.

“MJ! NOHOHOHOHO!!” Peter yelled as he felt her nails glide all over his abs.

“Geez Peter, I never realized you were so fit! You’ve never let me touch you here.” MJ teased as she traced the indentations in his suit from his abs.

“THIHIHIHIHIS IHIHIHIS WHYHYHYHYHYHY AH! NO!” Peter squealed twitching and arching his back.

“That makes sense.” MJ replied as she spidered her fingers over his bellybutton, Peter has had enough of her teasing he swore if he went any redder his head would explode! He then effortlessly flipped their positions.

MJ was a little shocked by the sudden movement but not surprised.

Peter now on his hands and knees over MJ pinning her wrists at each side of her of her head.

“I-I think thats enough from you!” Peter said still out of breath and face red MJ giggled at the sight.

“W-Whats so funny?” Peter asked.

“You’re face!” MJ laughed. Peter then groaned.

“I thought we weren’t at the point in our relationship where you could do that! So I’m obviously embarrassed!” Peter tried to explain.

“You broke that barrier when you fell asleep on me!” MJ snarked back with her cheeky smile watching as Peter’s face grew redder again.

“Oh, you are SO dead!” Peter claimed before tickling his girlfriend’s sides.

“Ah! Peheheheteheheher! Stohohohohop!” MJ laughed.

“No way am I stopping! As you said, you’r my enemy! And I must defeat any emany I encounter!” Peter retaliated actually having fun with this.

“Yohohohohou suhuhuhuhuhuhuck!” MJ shouted back through her laughter. Peter then removed both his hands from pinning MJ’s arms to tickle her, rookie mistake. MJ used that opportunity to start tasering Peter’s sides again. Peter toppled over falling to his side. Now both of them where facing each other on the ground tickling one another both refusing to back down.

“MJ! MJ MJ! STOHOHOHOP! Heheheheheheheheh! Plehehehehehease! abahahahaha! Peter giggled trying to get at MJ’s neck.

“Yohohohoho stohohohohohop fihihihihirst!” MJ yelled through her own laughter.

She then shoved her hands under Peter’s arms.

“NeheheHEHEHEHEVEHEHEHEHER! NOHOHOHOHOHO!” Peter yelled instantly pinning his arms to his sides.

“Mwuahahahahaha! I got you now Spiderman!” MJ teased.

“AH! NONONO! GEHEHEHEHET OHOHOHOHOUT OHOHOHOHOF THEHEHEHEHERE! Peter yelled twisting and turning trying to get away.

“Tell you what, Iift your arms up and let my hands go then I’ll stop!” MJ suggested. As Peter was laughing and squealing like a little 5 year old.

“I- I cahahahahahHAHAHAn’t!” Peter laughed out.

“Well, we got a problem then.” MJ said before slightly slowing down the tickling giving Peter a chance. Peter continued to squirm even though it was doing nothing for him at this point.

“C-mon! I know you can.” MJ encouraged stopping her tickle attack. Peter gratefully took that opportunity to breath.

“I’m waiting.” Interrupted Peter’s loud breathing.

Peter slightly pouted and shook his head no. He knew how she worked, the minute he lifted his arms up is the minute she will tickle him again.

“Am I gonna have to start again?” MJ teased lightly wriggling her fingers as a warning.

“EEEEH! No! nonono stohohop! stop!” Peter squealed before removing his arms from his sides allowing MJ’s hands out. Peter then gently grabbed her wrists as she slid her fingers down his sides making him giggle.

“MJ! Stohop! You said yohou would stop...” Peter whined.

“Alright alright.” MJ agreed leaning down so her head was on his chest. Peter then wrapped his arms around her, him being too tired for it to be awkward anymore.

“I hate you.” Peter mumbled. Peter then felt a tweak to his side causing him to jerk violently before hearing MJ

“You know you love me!” MJ then kissed Peter on the lips. Peter could get used to this.

Fin~

[tauristar]

“so, drift...”

“hm?”

“ever wonder what it’d be like if the war didn’t happen?”

rodimus hears a quiet sigh.

“roddy, isn’t it a bit late for that kind of discussion?”

“it’s the perfect time for it. nobody else around. besides, i wanna hear what you have to say about it ‘cause you never talk about cybertron.”

“for a good reason. a lot of unpleasant memories.”

the red speedster rolls over, blue optics dim yet honed in on drift’s frame in the dark. he bites his glossa and stops himself from saying anything, knowing damn well that drift’s been through hell and back. there’s still more left unsaid by the swordsman; but a dark presence looming over someone is covered by fun, smiles and a few layers of personalities. rodimus knows that.

and so, instead, he hums and gives a small smile.

“then i’ll just say my part, and you listen.”

he sees drift’s optics focus on him. “are you fine with that?”

“yeah! c’mon, drift, since when do i ever shut up? even better, when do i shut up if i’ve had a thought in my head that’s been stuck in my head all day but i don’t have anyone to speak about it to, because... uh, let’s be real here, nobody wants to think about the coulda beens.”

“well, if you insist. i’m more than happy to listen.”

“well, i kinda do insist. can’t stop thinking about it.” he huffs. “i just need to get the thoughts out and no amount of writing into a datapad is gonna help. tried it once, failed miserably.”

drift chuckles. “you’ve never been good with writing things down.”

“well, just ask magnus.” rodimus smirks. he coughs to clear his vocaliser and prepares his little mimic. “rodimus, this report is atrocious. there’s at least 2.18 trillion errors and somehow you have confined said errors to one short paragraph. this is unintelligible, for lack of a better term.”

“pfft, magnus does not sound like that.”

“whaddya mean? he does! he totally does! i can’t get away with a misplaced comma, i’m telling you.” rodimus laughs. “to be fair, i also draw diagrams on the pages, and sometimes they’re complete nonsense and magnus has no idea if they’re associated with the report or not.”

“which they’re probably not.”

“oh, they’re definitely not. once he asked if a drawing of me with the matrix cruising on rollerskates wearing sunglasses -- with you in the background looking twice as cool -- was a part of the report. i maaaaaay have said yes to mess with him. he still doesn’t know what it means.”

drift smiles, then chuckles, then almost laughs. “oh primus, rodimus.”

“hey, you’re laughing, so therefore it was all worth it! who knew it would be so rewarding to lie to my second in command so my best friend would get a kick out of my fun-loving antics?” rodimus grins. “... okay, but really. where was i?”

“before all that? ah, you were talking about your thoughts on--”

“--if the war didn’t happen!”, rodimus interrupts. “... oh, uh, heh. sorry.”

“it’s okay. go on and speak your mind.”

“you’re the best, drift.” rodimus spares a smile before humming, bringing a servo to his chin as if he was thinking. “now, i reckon if the war never happened, i’d have left nyon anyway, because honestly? nyon felt lost. y’know when i told you about that one time i went to the south to help bots out and i got attacked by some random on the street? wait, no, that’s too vague. the bot with a really specific symbol on his head and his dentae looked torn out, his glossa gone, all that gruesome stuff. wait, you know about that, right?”

drift pauses. “... let’s say, theoretically, i do.”

“right! yeah. ‘cause of that, i dunno if nyon would ever be what it once was, even if the war never happened. which sucks, because it had the coolest stuff like you’d never believe. it was like caminus with all the religious stuff -- nautica told me a bit about caminus, and i told her about nyon -- but it also had art and music and festivals to die for. not literally, but close enough. ooh! i don’t remember if i told you or not, but have i ever mentioned...”

drift shakes his head, but he can’t complain. rodimus has grand stories, and he’s more than happy to listen.

[oncleberns]

!!! wowie zowie !!!

the last time i posted something vaguely personal on here was in november 2014 and that was about a dream in which i was doing meth with pirates.

time to remedy this. also i haven’t had a job in three months and i feel like writing something on tumblr makes up for the fact that i rarely get out of bed before 9am and shower only when the dreadlock at the base of my neck becomes particularly troublesome. (this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so although i am still unemployed, i WILL be starting work this monday. thus, showering to commence again soon.)

anyway.

i moved to LA at the beginning of december. living in hollywood has been a trip and although some parts of it are fucking terrible (read: unbelievable amounts of tourists, lots of strange people, stupid hollywood shit that people think is cool, etc.), it’s turned out to be a dope spot to begin this whole LA adventure. 

first: let’s get the driving aspect out of the way. it blows. i already don’t like driving but doing it in a city where everyone is a self-centered asshole is even worse. no one stops for anyone, no one uses their turn signal, no one knows the rules of the road or basic geometry. the list goes on. statistically, i am going to get into an accident. i just hope there isn’t a dead person at the end of that journey. i’ll be white knuckling it until then! silver lining: since i’ll be working in beverly hills, i’m looking forward to a decent drive - especially by LA standards. i can’t wait to blast the ruff ryders anthem and russian 80s pop on these skreets.

besides discovering i’m kind of awful at generally knowing how to navigate parking structures, i’ve also discovered another beast specific to LA: the flaky friend. admittedly, this can be attributed to the whole “driving anywhere at any time of day is a pain in the ass” thing, BUT it really puts a damper on trying to make plans with motherfuckers. the easiest solution is making friends with people in your immediate neighborhood, but that is limiting and thus, vastly annoying. i don’t foresee making friends at work like most people because it’s a small unit and everyone is in their 40s/50s. ughhhhhhhhh. i’ve been putting feelers out with certain acquaintances but so far, bubkes.

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS AS AN ADULT? it doesn’t help that i’ve been burned so many times and maaaaaay possibly have high intimacy/respect standards.

i guess i’ll just keep guzzling martinis nervously at social gatherings and sniffing out the non-assholes before getting so drunk my years younger-than-me cousin has to order an uber for me (true story).

[jungnoir]

the cat’s meow;

mark tuan | “You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops but my cat likes you so????” with a twist. | 2.2k words. | angst, eventual fluff. requested.

a/n: okay, so I maaaaaay have connected this story to my neighbor!jinyoung drabble “one of those days” because i mean,,, come on,,,, guys. I’m changing the reader’s name from the jinyoung drabble to another so that when you guys read this one from reader’s perspective, you don’t get confuzzled :)

“You’ve reached Jimin’s phone! I’m terribly sorry I can’t take your call, but I’m probably obliterating zombies or saving my team’s ass in a match so unfortunately, I cannot get to you. Leave a message and I’ll get back!”

“You ass, you utterly absolute jerk,” Mark can feel his temper rising the longer he thinks about that fact that for once, when he calls his friend past the tender time of 2 a.m., she won’t even pick up, even though he knows she’s awake because he can hear her yelling something completely nonsensical (”I told you to cover me, Lacey! Now I’ve got eight bullets in my butt armor!”) into her headset from the floor below, “I need your terrible help for once in my lifetime and you can’t pick up the phone? God, please, Jimin... she’s here. (Y/N)’s in my house.”

The tired college student looks away from the awkward painting he’d made for his Art 1402 class, a mess of colorful swirls and the meaning behind it lost to even him when he had presented it to his professor, and looks back to the dreaded living room, his living room, where he’d awoken to the scare of his short life.

You had taken everything from him; his heart, his happiness (for a time), his comfort... and now, you had taken Falafel, his orange exotic shorthair with a list of liked people that even the Pope couldn’t easily make his way onto. 

The worst part about seeing your ex draped over your couch, half dressed and half asleep while playing with your cat as if it was five months ago and you two were still in love was... well, all of that was the worst part.

“She’s drunk out of her mind. I think she thinks we’re still together... I mean, she even remembered the passcode.” He stands several feet away, bare feet feeling uncomfortably cold on the kitchen tile, but he can’t venture into the living room toward the warm carpet. He can’t put himself so close to you, can’t look at your face that he still sees in the forefront of his mind every time he sees something so inexplicably you that his heart throbs for the rest of the day. He has to keep his distance because it’s been five months and you’ve gone on to bigger and better things, and he’s still trying to move on.

Falafel is completely oblivious to his owner’s distress, instead curling and rolling over onto his back to reveal a very fluffy belly in need of scratching, and your manicured nails rake up and down the space in understanding, even as your eyes are closed and you’re making cute- no, no mark, you’re making mumbling noises under your breath. Falafel’s tail swishes in unbothered serenity; it’s easy to tell Mark is nowhere on Falafel’s checklist of worries right now.

Damn cat, Mark thinks, leaning further into the fridge and using the cold surface against his skin to keep him grounded. He’d have to get your attention, he’d have to hail you a cab or call you an Uber or even dial up the number of one of your friends that he still hadn’t had the heart to delete from his phone yet. He’d have to help you up most likely, because you didn’t look anywhere near capable of doing so yourself, and he’d have to carry you to your carriage ride home, an intoxicated Cinderella being sent off by the prince whose heart she’d broken months prior. Right now, he didn’t even feel like the prince, rather the mice that turned into carriage men.

You continue to lay peacefully, partying dress hiked up a little too far on you but you’re too drunk to even notice, and one of your heels is eight feet away from where you are. He wonders how you’d even made it all the way here in them in such a state, but he’d seen you drunk plenty of times before in your relationship and didn’t doubt the absence of mind you had when you were one too many drinks in.

He kinda hates it. Kinda hates how badly his heart aches for you when he’s spent the last five months trying to forget you.

You stir quietly, and his heart lurches, tall, lanky body pressing into the fridge door more as if he could sink into it and disappear, but you are already sitting up and looking around, catching his eyes before he can sprint into the hallway and out of your sight.

Your eyes don’t bug, there is no sign of realization that you’ve stumbled into your ex’s apartment and there is no visible lightbulb above your head that tells him you know you’ve fucked up. There’s a yawn, you roll your shoulders back and brush your hair out of your face, and then he sees what he hadn’t before, standing so far away. 

Your face was streaked with makeup mixed tears.

Even your skin, flushed and sheeny, is much more visible when you’re looking at him dead on and he’s not avoiding you anymore. “I haven’t had a drink in five months,” you start, voice sounding wrecked from your sobbing you’d done earlier, possibly the unidentifiable strange sounds that had woken him up in the first place, “because every time I get a little too loose I think of coming back to you. But I got my promotion so I had to toast it, you know? I’m so sorry.”

You look utterly broken, ashamed for letting yourself find your way back to him when you’d broken the relationship off months prior because “you’re in college and I’m making a name for myself at my dream job, Mark! we’re going in different directions and I think it’s time we stop dragging the other along for nothing”, but you also look in need of a hug and maybe a really long, really hot shower.

He also finds he can’t really turn you away... even though he knows he should.

So, like a fool still in love and unable to say no to you, he hangs up the phone and walks into the living room and his heart pangs when your eyes widen and light up with hope, and he raises his hand as if to stop it dead in its tracks, “This doesn’t mean anything.”

He forces himself to look away when your expression falls, but you lean into him when he hoists you up. He carries you to the bathroom and sets you on the counter, hands you a towel and washcloth (that you’d bought together eight months ago. go figure), and helps you strip off your skintight night clothes until you’re tiredly clambering into the shower stall and taking that really hot shower you needed. The hug could wait. 

It’s surprisingly not awkward, sitting on the toilet lid and making sure you don’t hurt yourself while you wash. When you come out, he helps you wrap the towel around your middle and wraps the other around your dripping hair, mumbling something about your hair products that he’d had to throw out because they’d since expired from sitting under his sink (they were still there. you didn’t need to know that, though). You let him know you’re feeling a bit better and he lets you use whatever products of his that you can to get yourself clean, using his lotions to soften your skin and his comb to at least detangle your hair a bit. He offers his blow-drier and watches you tame the mass into a ponytail when it is done.

He’s fine. He’s fine.

You follow him into his room and he hands you one of his large white t-shirts (the ones you used to steal) and a pair of sweatpants of his that you have to tighten the drawstring on to keep on your hips. You take his old socks and feel the warmth of his bed surrounding you as he helps you lay down, a fuzzy thing curling up by your waist once you’ve settled. Falafel smiles up at you almost, glad to have you back where he believes you belonged. If he could speak, he’d probably say something along the lines of reprimanding, annoyed you’d taken such a long trip away from him and his owner, when right here was obviously where both of you were supposed to be.

He tugs his blanket over your body and sighs when your now clean, bare face is staring back at him, a scene he hadn’t seen in some time. “I’ll get you water, some asprin for morning. I’ll be in the living room if you need-”

Your hand grasps around his wrist and with all the strength left in your tired body, you yank Mark down on top of you, the gangly boy falling into a mess on your chest and making Falafel yowl in contempt. He bats his paw at Mark a few times before jumping off the bed and going somewhere else. Falafel is promptly reminded that maybe this is where both of you were supposed to be, but not he.

Mark’s eyes are wide and he’s attempting to scramble off of you before something bad could happen, something irreversible and painful and too much for his still broken heart, but you lock your arms around him. Even in your weak state, he stills when you do, elbows holding him up above you and his expression frantic, scared. He’s scared you’ll do something you’ll regret in the morning, and he’s scared he’ll break completely when you do.

But yet, there is no sign of delusion or hazy intemperance. There actually hadn’t been much to start with since the moment he’d met you in the living room.

“I don’t know who I was fooling,” you start, tears bubbling at the edges of your eyes, “thinking we couldn’t work and that the decision I made was a good one. I don’t know why I was so hell bent on growing out of you. Like you were something to leave behind. I was so convinced at all of those stupid magazine articles, I listened to all those stupid people tell me that college boyfriends were temporary and that once one started maturing they’d have to leave that behind... I was so convinced that they knew best. The truth is Mark... you’re in me. You’re in every bit of me, and so much so that it hurts to even think about. I see you in everything, hear you in everything, feel you in everything... so please... don’t hate me for saying I still love you.”

Could he? Could he hate you? The question he wanted to ask was how could you ever think he was capable of such a thing. 

He lets himself collapse next to you into a fit of frustrated, pained sobs, but they are not the cries of someone unloved and hurting. They are the cries of relief, of months of suppressing and distractions finally being let loose because you still loved him. He didn’t have to imagine. You were here and you were honestly sober and you were telling him you loved him. 

You hold him close to you, his head on your chest and your fingers playing with the curls on top of his head. You’d missed the lush hair in between your fingers, missed the scent of his rosy shampoo (”whose dumb idea was it to gender shampoos? if I want to smell like a rose, I’ll smell like a goddamn rose. hey, stop laughing at me!”) on his sheets and in your senses.

You hold him with all the love you’d been trying so desperately to hide for the last five months. 

“I love you too,” Mark says, even though it’s obvious, but it warms your heart nonetheless to hear him say it. “God, I never stopped.” “Neither did I. Neither did I.”

He wakes the next morning, a quiet fear in the back of his mind that maybe last night was a dream, or that maybe you were still drunk when you’d confessed to him and the moment you awoke, you’d part ways once more. He wakes the next morning, that quiet fear disintegrating the moment he opens his eyes to see you smiling down at him with all the love in the world, still tugging at the auburn curls on his head. He still loves you, and you still love him. He’s actually fine this time.

“Hey... heh, Mark. Sorry about not answering last night! I honestly didn’t hear my phone, and you know, my guild needed me, so I can’t slack off. Plus, the weirdest thing happened. You know Jinyoung? My neighbor? The really handsome, really stoic one? He came to my place at like 2 in the morning, totally drunk, asking for salt for his french fries. Turned out he was having a bad few days, poor guy. We even hugged! Can you believe it? ...be honest with me, Mark, do you think I have a chance with him? I mean, he’s really, really beautiful and he hugged me, Mark. H-u-g-g-e-d. I- oh, dang, okay, my guild is calling me so just call me back later alright! Tell me everything, you better not leave any juicy details out!”