#been waiting FOREVER to talk about the shrines omg

[fvedyetor]

points. zelda fan. did you play tears of the kingdom?

i've gotten thru like mooooooost of the main quest (as far as i remember) and tbh i think its like. my favorite zelda game. i love fusing stupid stuff together and making silly cars that don't work at all........ also skydiving.

do u have any like. favorite tloz games? :0 like totk is up there for me but im also very fond of windwaker, spirit tracks, and twilight princess <3

yes omg!! ive finished the main quest in totk and all the shrines and caves and lightroots! just missing some quests and a ton of korok seeds lol. totk is the only game that ive actually kinda completed so as of rn its my fave i think. lately ive just been trying to max all my clothes which has mainly been just harassing the dragons for their scales and stuff hehe i do it out of love <3

ive played through all of botw except for the final boss fight. actually recently restarted my game so i could start over bc its been years but ive been too busy to play T^T cant wait for summer omg

zelda is my all time favorite video games!! i hot young parents who i grew up watching play zelda games. i watched my dad play majoras mask and my mom play twilight princess and skyward sword so all of those have a special place in my heart <3 watching them play it is why i love loz sm. no other video game franchise can compare.

i wanna play more games tho!! i need to find a way to stop all the time passing around me so i can just play zelda forever lol

ive also played part of a link to the past (unblocked on school computer) and part of twilight princess (got the master sword and then just got too busy :((

i also have some zelda manga!! i have 1 and 3 for tp and then one that has both minish cap and phantom hourglass. on the hunt for more hehe

i also have zelda shrine. and a growing collection of printed images of totk ganondorfs on my door. and paper dolls of zelda characters. and OMG MY SLIDESHOWS. i have two slideshows about why ganondorf is objectively hot, a slideshow in progress of all the foods from totk/botw, and a bunch of other wips (loz geography, loz timeline, etc) all in order to educate my poor irl friends. OH I ALSO HAVE A LOZ OCARINA and a little book of songs from oot and other games hehe

aaaaaaa im sorry this is so long i had an excuse to talk about zelda and i ran with it hehe

ok but my faves are totk defintely and then also twilight princess and majoras mask are up there for sure. im so indecisive tho aaaaaaaa. for sure tho the cartoon is NOT up there i do not like the cartoon at all (except for maybe zelda... but i didnt finish the cartoon so who knows)

[thegeminisage]

much as it pains me, i only have an hour or so before bedtime so i've decided to press on to gerudo town...i want my snow boots before i try to get that memory and i KNOW they are there

omg this stable has boxes everywhere?! my buddy is here too. where to even begin

YOOOOO evil zelda has been at work here.........telling them not to go near the WELL in a DESERT?

cleaning up thi hoarder junk lol just like real life

man...it's so SAD to be their final customer :( it's sad they have to close up forever...

oh!! he wants art for the stable's final days 😭

geez, those are some tough pictures to get...i'll do my best, but not tonight lol

evil zelda saying stay away from the well is why it's shutting down!!! noooo

girl why does everyone obey her like that, like against logic...the monarchy barely means anything anymore. shes my babygirl but like if my stable was closing bc of some nonsense order i would simply violate the order

DONT TAKE ME OUT OF THE WELL I NEED THAT LOOT........

OMG yessssss FROGGY LEGGINGS!!!!!! god at LAST...only ONE MORE PIECE TO GO............

if i cleaned the well out does that mean the stable can open again 🥺

oh, when your meal pouch is full addison gives you rupees twice lol

im in the desert and i HATE. SAND. anakin skywalker was right about everything

oooh but it looks so different...the bazaar...what IS that tall thing...how do i sneak in this time lol

this poor korok will have to wait til i get my fucking sand & snow boots

oh cool you can rent a sand seal with a CARRIER now...love it

ah, i see. i guess i can take the korok after all lol. one less for later!

this sand shroud business seems SPOOKY...wild weather in real life fascinates me, and so too does wild video game weather

damn this old lady is fucking jaded. begging me not to drop dead in front of her lol

oh FUN this gerudo is teaching me like, gerudo language, and she's trying to teach me how to make the "v" sound...which i know, because english, but in japanese they don't have that i don't think. COOOOLL

lol a rito just named guy

ah, the updraft is to fly over the shroud...very good. i remember the map not working in botw and it was scary lol

but i still wonder how i get in??

just like when i did the story in the other areas i activate the shrines and leave them behind...smh. at least this time i have the excuse of "it's almost bedtime"

WHAT is this big mushroom thing with the bud in it??? looks almost like a lightroot

i've officially hit 999 brightbloom seeds lol. the game won't let me pick up anymore

oh wow the map going fuzzy is just as bad as i remember lol. it's bedtime but i just GOTTA get to town first...i think i remember an npc saying something about zombies i WANT TO SEE THE REDEADS (or do i)

okay. so.

i got. in. like by just. walking in.

saw a redead. immediately froze in terror.

it's not moving. i'm not moving. alright. alright

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I SHOT IT AND IT GOT BACK UP KILL IT WITH FIRE

killed it with fire. don't like that

GIBDO BONE..........................it is literally not a gibdo. it's not a mummy. it's a redead!!!

shit fuck this looks. so bad. hudson's poor daughter...where even IS everyone

riju's not here...but i found her diary

my friends link and zelda are in hyrule and they'll take care of it 😭

geez she is so young to be dealing with all of this...older now but still

SNOWSHOE DUDE????

oh my god he's FINALLY in........but to what avail..................

so, everyone is hiding in the wells...

wow, even the bar is fucked up......tragic

where tf are the wells?

OH i found one!!! a square well!

message in a BOTTLE!!!! JUST LIKE OOT

oh lol it's a love letter from a gerudo. girl.......you can't just put love letters in bottles...you and finley both...enough

oh i found the way in but i don't have the girl clothes :( idk how to do it!!!

BULIARA WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

omg i get the special exception rule <3 i guess thats better than the last game...?

man they arent even allowed to talk to me lol

oh, these guys don't seem to know the trick - killing them with fire lol

another heroines quest! i'll be honest i didn't really understand the first one...

omg they put a guy in JAIL for coming in here...they're serious!!

ok the last thing i wanted to do before bed, which i am late for, was get my shoes. i had to look up the location but AAAA theres two redeads in my way!!!!!!!!! literally kill with fire

i am so tense and hypervigilant walking thru this town. my eyes sweeping everywhere between steps. i am NOT gonna get jumped by one of those motherfuckers this close 2 bedtime

oh god FINALLY made it

those brightbloom seeds just paid for my desert vai armor! of course i had enough for the boots and bought them first lol

well it's more than half an hour past the bedtime i wanted

but i unblocked the door and walked out

saw a redead shambling towards me. went back in.

that's a sign. that's for future liz to deal with tomorrow. eugh

[queen0fm0nsterz]

For lady ideas, she probably was considered a dirty in physical form. There are some hidden alters. I think ln ii has an alter Easter egg, as well as a figurine of her. There’s even a maw advertisement. It seems pretty well known. So, considering how she’s known to provide food and luxury, higher ups probably left her alone since she’s not only powerful, but beneficial to them. Also, she only seems jerky to poor people. With maybe the exception of the janitor and twin chefs.

MASTERPOST

I somewhat agree with this take of the Lady being considered a deity, actually.

I have a feeling both the Lady and the Thin Man are being "worshipped" by the two different groups they ""provide"" for, AKA the Viewers and the Guests, yet it seems that the figure of the Lady of the Maw has more... recognition? When compared to the Broadcaster's.

It's true that both of the previously mentioned groups are only appreciative of the two because of their services - the wonders of the Transmission and the delicious food to placate their hunger - but it's also worth noting that we never, not once!, see a shrine dedicated to the Thin Man himself. The Lady has several in both games while the Thin Man doesn't even have one in his own game. Only children's drawings rappresenting him as omnious as ever... which may imply that the adults either:

1) don't know about his existence;

2) don't care about him in the slightest;

3) both. As long as the Transmission keeps them content, finding out who's behind it is not an issue.

Now, the Lady on the other hand...

(There is an extra one in the Residence, but I'm not sure if it can be considered a shrine tied to our Lady, so I'm putting it aside for now.)

Back to being serious.

The first shrine I want to talk about is the hidden one at the beginning of the Kitchen Chapter, because it's the one that most resembles an actual shrine...

... and because it seems to have been there for a long time.

If we take Six breaking the statues as a canonical part of her journey, and by extension part of all the Ladies' journey through the Maw, the broken statues imply that this shrine has been here for at least four cycles. If the order of the Ladies is correct, that would have been Tengu's reign.

What's more! Taking the "Tengu & Scarecrow are sisters" theory into account, thus taking a Lady off the count, leaves us with the shocking realization that the shrine might have existed since Fox was around.

With this in mind, I'm guessing both of the women in the two pictures are, or were, Ladies. The identity of the woman in red is still dubious in my mind, though.

What is interesing to me in this scenario is that, if this is the case, then the Lady of the Maw has always been held in high regard by whoever decided to make this shrine... and bothered to keep coming back and bring a new statue & picture when the ones present are outdated and cracked.

Which leads me to the next question: who could have possibly made a shrine in such a place? The room is extremely small, which immediately excludes any adult and leaves us with only two suspects: the children or the nomes.

Let's take a look at the next shrine.

A downgrade from the previous one, but the Nome worked with what it was given. The effort was clearly there.

Hunter brought a little guy back with him on land... I'm assuming he didn't mean to bring the Nome - but I wonder if the statue was also an intruder in his luggage. If the Nome tried to take it along for the ride, then that really sparks some questions.

The broken statue in particular reminds me of the previous shrine. Also, the candles.

Last one can't really be considered a shrine, but it has a Lady statue with an achievement tied to it, and also pictures of the Lady + the Maw, so I'll take it.

The placement of the armchair is both hilarious and telling because it implies whoever lived here had an habbit of just... sitting there and stare at that picture of the Lady, as far as we can tell anyway.

Also, the statue, again, implies that whoever lived here visited the Maw and somehow returned alive.

So, all we've gatheted from this "analysis" about the Lady's status is:

1) She's more known/held with higher regard by the people than the Thin Man;

2) Both adults and Nomes (possibly children?) have shrines dedicated to her;

3) This dedication seems to be more tied to the title of Lady of the Maw and what it rappresents rather than the Lady as a person, see as the first shrine has existed for possibly generations.

I bet our Lady is loving the attention, since she's so vain. Or maybe deep down she actually hates it and that's why she always prefers to be in her quarters, who knows. Either way, you're completely right about the Maw being advertised - there's papers laying around the City with its picture on it, and I also have a feeling its being advertised on television, too. Call it a gut feeling.

I'm not too sure what you mean with the "she seems jerky to poor people" - I personally think the Lady thinks poorly of whoever she deems to be below her regardless of status, but I do agree on her staff being the exception to this behavior.

Something that baffles me about the Lady is just how much she appears to appreciate her employees. Like... she may be an horrible woman and a literal soul-sucking monster, but at least she's a good boss who actually likes her staff- especially the Chefs for some reason. She has so many pictures of them in her quarters. It's insane.

[runanadwiddles]

hi hi welcome omg ur writing is so comforting \(//∇//)\ can i pls get general relationships hcs for tsumugi and souma ? tysm !! <33

aww thanks~ I'm so glad you think that dearie o(≧▽≦)o and of course you can! I'm ready for more fluffy writing that I've been craving for the last two weeks after all~

➼ Tsumugi, when it comes to relationships, can be a bit iffy at first, being that he's a total airhead and practically giving always light-hearted responses no matter the situation. Now, that doesn't mean he's someone who keeps a relationship hard, far from it.

➼ Being that he's always working as an idol and vice president of New Dimension, he gets tired easily. Be sure to give him lots of hugs and words of affirmation when he returns home to you~

➼ Tsumugi also just wants you to be happy as well; he'll do anything for you to be happy; after all, he's a magician from Switch to spread happiness. Though, reassure him that he doesn't have to overwork himself for your sake.

➼ He's super into you playing with his hair! When he comes over to your place for a sleepover or just spends time with you, playing with his hair is a must! Braids, pigtails, you name it! Heck, even just brushing it with your fingers will make him feel satisfied.

➼ Dates would most likely be at the library or at home! He finds reading together or just sewing things together fun! It's even better if you read to him as he lays his head on your lap or shoulder. House dates would be something more like sewing some new outfits together or just hanging out for fun!

➼ He would definitely be one to always give you advice when you're having problems. He'd sit down with you and give you hugs, cuddles, little head kisses, you name it! He just wants to be the person you go to first for help.

➼ "Tsumugi-kun, let's go read a book!"

➼ "Hehe~ Alright! What book?"

➼ Just something about him; he just loves your voice so much! Reading to him, talking to him, singing to him, all of it he just absolutely loves and adores about you.

➼ Overall he's a sweet boy! He's always waiting for you to come home if he's ever home before you and vice versa~ He does lack self-confidence, but with you, he feels like he can do anything!

➼ Souma is definitely gonna be the one to ask you out, for sure. No questions asked; he's bold but not "bold-bold," if you know what I mean.

➼ I can just imagine Souma confession would be like, "Will you let me stay by your side forever?" He doesn't know how to ask someone out, let alone understand how to describe love.

➼ He's willing to draw his sword on anyone if he has to! "Hurt my s/o, then you get slashed!" is his reasoning. Got any problems with anyone? Fear not! Souma will deal with them!

➼ Dates with Souma would be something like... Maybe like going to the hot springs, while there's a local festival going on and spend the night together. He seems like the one to have a thing for you in yukata or kimono.

➼ Like in the previous bullet, Souma has a thing for you in a kimono/yukata. He just has the urge to match with you no matter what occasion. If you're working as a part-time shrine maiden wearing a Miko, then he'd be glad to visit you at work!

➼ Oh! Aquarium dates would be something that you guys would do as well! Souma would definitely buy you your favorite marine animal plushie as a gift for you. Maybe you guys can get matching keychains as well? ➼ "Aww, Souma-kun! Look at these keychains! Aren't they cute?"

➼ "Uwah, sea turtles! Do you want them s/o-dono?"

➼ Souma has a thing for your hair as well! He just loves bringing his hands to your hair out of habit for some odd reason. If you ever sleep on his lap, he'd definitely admire your hair, moving strands of it out of your face.

➼ Out of everything, he just wants to know that you won't leave him for his odd behavior. He may say that anything will be slashed upon his sword, but he'll never hurt you. You're his top priority other than his idol career. He'll always be there for you, just call his name, and he'll be there for you, and only you.

[astertataricvs]

Can I request a first kiss hcs for Kyoujuro, Giyuu and Muichiro?

OMG this is so long! I hope you all liked it! 

First kiss headcanons

Kyojuro Rengoku

✿ Kyojuro is a sweet man, of course, he wants your first kiss to be memorable.

✿ You have no idea how this Flame pillar boyfriend of yours wants to kiss your luscious lips every time he gawks at it whenever you’re talking to him or others.

✿ He would ascertain himself too absorbed in his little world; daydreaming about his lips fastening to your kissable one.

✿ Kyojuro was hiding it and he doesn’t want you to notice how he was craving to feel your lips with his. He doesn’t want you to feel compelled about it and he absolutely values you a lot.

✿ If you’re giving him a hint about it, he would definitely ask you if you’re 100% positive if you really wanted him to kiss you.

✿ BECAUSE THIS MAN REALLY ADORES YOU A LOT AND HE DOESN’T WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU SINCE YOU’RE AN ANGEL THAT WAS SENT FROM THE HEAVENS.

✿ Kyojuro beckoned you to go to the shrine with him because in just a few minutes, the new beginning of the year will finally start and he wants to create precious memories with you.

✿ Your Flame pillar boyfriend wants to start his new year with you who the one he truly treasured a lot.

✿ YOU ARE HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER AFTER ALL! WHY WOULD HE FORGET ABOUT YOU?! DUH.

✿ Of course, you wouldn’t reject his offer since you don’t quite often see each other and spend time together because Kyojuro is very busy with his occupation being a demon hunter and a pillar.

✿ Both of you would talk about a lot of things and you will ask him how is he doing in these months that he’s been busy.

✿ Kyojuro will compliment how beautiful you are wearing your kimono and will land a soft kiss on your forehead before roaming around the shrine.

✿ You and Kyojuro prayed together and he wished that you two will stay together forever and create more memories with you, whether it’s a pleasant one or not. He wants to live with you until you two grow old and plan your own family together.

✿ When the clock strikes to twelve, you both greeted each other a happy new year and embrace each other.

✿ Kyojuro envelops his arms around your waist and rests his chin on top of your head. While you, you buried your face into his chest and inhale the manly scent of your boyfriend. You were really happy about celebrating the new year together with Kyojuro. You feel your heart pounding ferociously against your ribcage and butterflies that were flapping inside your stomach.

✿ Kyojuro’s hands travelled to your cheeks and gently holds it with care. He lifts your face so you can stare into his golden eyes that immediately befuddled you. His eyes were vehement that matches the breath style that he utilises to decapitate demons.

✿ To your perspectives, your visions were only fixed to each other and the muffled voices of the people were casually sinking. Your ears were obstructed to any sounds that were surrounding the vicinity except the vigorous hammering of your hearts.

✿ Inherently, Kyojuro’s face was beginning to propel towards yours and his eyes were half-lidded. You couldn’t help but sniff the minty breath of your boyfriend as if you were becoming dizzy.

✿ Your eyes droop and your lips’ were only an inch apart. Kyojuro peered through his eyelashes to see your eyes were already closed and you were waiting for him to mold his lips into yours.

✿ Kyojuro’s lips curved upwards and say, “I love you, (Name).”

✿The Flame pillar gently places his lips on yours and tilt his head to the side to intensify the kiss that he was craving for a long time.

✿ Instinctively, you snake your arms around his neck and kiss him back. You heard your boyfriend grunt in between your kiss and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

✿ The shared kiss you both have are full of passion and tenderness. Butterflies were fluttering in your stomachs and you both feel like you were sent through the heavens and no one can ever disrupt the momentous time that you have been anticipating to fall.

✿ Once your lungs were stinging because of the lack of air, you two pulled away and stared into each other while catching your breaths.

✿ “That was my first kiss…” you uttered, putting your hand on your lips. Kyojuro smiled at your remark and pull you into his chest, giving you a firm hug.

✿ “It’s my first kiss too. I’m glad that I’m the one who stole your first kiss.” Kyojuro laughed and you laugh along with him.

✿ “I love you too, Kyojuro.”

Giyuu Tomioka

✿ This boy likes to give you forehead kisses. AND HE WILL BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT BY FACING HIS BACK AT YOU.

✿ Although this boy was silent all the time and he’s only watching you doing the things you obliged to do. He lowkey wants to give you a kiss on the lips too.

✿ Yes, he lowkey wants to kiss you and feel your lips with his own. Oftentimes wondering how your lips feel like when he pressed his lips on it.

✿ We all know that Giyuu doesn’t have any communication skills and he absolutely sucks at it. Therefore, he remains patient all this time despite that he was following the movements of your lips that he was tempted to smash his chapped ones.

✿ If only he’s eloquent just like Tanjiro, he wouldn’t hesitate to say to you that he wants to kiss you and ask for your permission.

✿ But nope, the Gods grant him a negative zero percent communication skills so he doesn’t even have the guts to move his lips to say anything even if it’s just one word.

✿ Giyuu didn’t give it a thought of that before, but that changed whenever you two will regularly wander around the places where you can see couples in every corner of the street doing lovey-dovey stuffs and boys will brazenly kiss their girlfriend on the lips without a care in the world.

✿ His eyes will directly land on you whose staring at the couples with a faint smile crept on your face.

✿ It’s a miracle that Giyuu could detect the envy you had in your eyes while watching the other couples kissing each other.

✿ Although you haven’t told it to his face, Giyuu is very much aware of the stunted smile you present and countenance.

✿ If only he has the courage to do it, he wouldn’t have second thoughts to crash his lips on yours and kiss you with passion. However, his timidity was hindering him to do it. Also, Giyuu isn’t the type of man who would do those things in the public. IT’S A BIG N O.

✿ TOTALLY A MASSIVE N O.

✿ Currently, you and your boyfriend Giyuu was sent on a mission by Oyakata-sama. Giyuu and you went in separate ways since it’s more convenient and efficient to do so.

✿ Hours of slaughtering demons, your boyfriend started to search for you in the forest since his task was fulfilled and no demons were prowling around at the place he went to anymore.

✿ The kakushis are starting to clean up the place and tend the injured and wounded demon hunters. As he went towards the section where you run off, he immediately stopped in his tracks once he saw your body sprawled on the ground with full of blood seeping out from your body.

✿ Giyuu’s mind went vacuous as if the world had crashed down onto his whole existence. He didn’t waste a second to sprint towards you and take a closer look at your body.

✿ Giyuu’s mind was in turmoil and he doesn’t know what to do when he saw your body drenched with your blood. He felt cold sweats running on his forehead and heart was wildly beating in his chest like a big drum hitting by a drum stick.

✿ Giyuu is beyond worried, too worried to the point that the only thing he views is your lifeless body and his ears become deaf. He doesn’t know what he will do if you… if you die on him.

✿ In a haste, the Water pillar ordered the kakushis to treat your wounds immediately. His voice was so loud and full of dread, he even felt like his throat went barren and in just a few seconds of speaking, his voice is going to crack sooner.

✿ After the mission and it’s been three days since it happened, Giyuu was waiting for you to wake up and you were being treated by Shinobu’s servants in the estate.

✿ Giyuu didn’t leave your side except when he needs to take a bath or going to eat. He just stayed in your room and would stare at your lifeless face with a bandage around your head.

✿ Witnessing you in that kind of state, it absolutely causes his heart to break apart and shatter into millions of pieces. His brain wasn’t functioning properly and as if he was being submerged into the depths of the darkness of his past and suffocating him.

✿ The Water pillar blames himself for not rescuing you at the right time and not able to protect you. The memories of the past that he won’t ever misremember just only kindled his apprehension and his anxiety was becoming worse.

✿ Giyuu will be a complete mess if you died from that mission of yours specifically that he’s there with you.

✿ The ravenette’s eyes fly open once he witnesses how your fingers move and hear a soft grunt coming from you. Giyuu was alerted and rapidly stands up from his seat to take a closer look at you.

✿ He can see the shallow movements of your eyelids and how you stir from your position.

✿ “G-Giyuu…”

✿ Your raspy voice reaches to his ears and your boyfriend merely holds your cold hand to inform you that he’s here. He couldn’t utter a single word because of his overwhelming emotions. Now that you have woken up from your deep slumber, Giyuu couldn’t express the relief that was filling his whole existence.

✿ It feels like a ray of hope arose in his most sunless abyss and his heart was restoring from its shape again. And you’re the only one who can do that.

✿ You slowly lift your eyes and adjust your blurry vision. Once you can finally see the view of the room, the face of Giyuu was the first thing that you see. His face was contorted with concern and a bit of relief, his eyebrows were crinkled and you can feel his warm hands covering yours.

✿ “(Name)…” Giyuu mutters and his hold on you squeezes. You flash him a reassuring smile and move your free hand to grab his and softly stroke it.

✿ “I’m back, Giyuu… I’m sorry for worrying you.”

✿ Giyuu shakes his head and cupped your cheeks, drawing circles on your cheekbones. He doesn’t know what he should say to you but the one thing that was lagging in his head was to kiss you due to the happiness and ease that he was feeling at this current moment.

✿ Giyuu leans down to your face and for a second, his profound cerulean sea eyes stare into you (colour) ones.

✿ “I love you, Giyuu…”

✿ That are the only words that he needed to hear, Giyuu didn’t take a second to connect his lips into yours.

✿ The feeling of your warm lips to his cold ones, it makes his heart go wild and feel like fireworks were being exploded in his stomach.

✿ Your lips fit his own in perfect harmony. His mind goes in a haze as he felt your arms snakes around his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. The shared kiss was full of love and sincere sentiments you both have for each other. It feels so surreal and Giyuu likes how your lips give warmth on his own.

✿ A few seconds later, the Water pillar retracted his lips but didn’t pull away from you. Instead, he rests his forehead against yours and you can smell the minty breath of your boyfriend.

✿ “Welcome back,” was he only said but you can notice the delight in his timbre.

✿ Please don’t scare him like that anymore.

Muichiro Tokito

✿ This boy doesn’t know how he will kiss you on the lips. He’s always pondering about it but he couldn’t picture how it will be like.

✿ And we all know that this innocent bun likes to give you tight hugs and kisses on the cheeks because Muichiro is a pure boy and adorable!

✿ So your first kiss will gonna be like this:

✿ You, Tanjiro and the others were trying to train in one of Shinobu’s training grounds. Muichiro tagged along with you since he’s always gonna accompany you wherever you will go.

✿ Of course, you wanted him to come with you because he’s also fond of Tanjiro. He’s the reason why Muichiro regained his memories back and you ascertained that your boyfriend is only showing his cheerful and soft side to the burgundy haired boy.

✿ Moreover, the sole purpose why you wanted him to tag along is because he can also train the trio with you. Despite that Muichiro isn’t the type of person who will help someone without any substantial reason, the mere fact that you’re there and asking him to help you, then there’s no purpose to ignore you and he will willingly accept your request since he has a weak spot for you.

✿ YOU ARE HIS WEAKNESS PFFT.

✿ Tanjiro greeted both of you once you arrived at the training area. You can clearly hear the bickers of his two friends behind him and you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.

✿ Muichiro craned his neck to look over you, only to see you covering your mouth with your hands and suppressing your laughter. Sighting you being happy, it makes his heart squeeze and felt the fluttery sensation building within him.

✿ He will admit it; hearing your melodious laugh was enough for him to make his heart pound inside his chest and a smile will automatically flourish on his face.

✿ Seeing you happy will also make him happy because he knows that this joyous moment with you is temporary.

✿ He couldn’t disregard the reality where demons are still present and lurking in the woods just to find its prey and devour humans fleshes. By just recalling his past tryst with the man-eating monsters, his nose will instantly scrunch in aversion and a nauseous feeling was forming in the pit of his stomach.

✿ He surely detests demons.

✿ So, after Tanjiro pacified Zenitsu and Inosuke from their argument, all of you started to train but the blonde boy immediately refused on training and just wanted to go back to the estate. While Inosuke, he’s the usual boisterous feral boy who kept on chanting that he’s going to be the best and he’s going to defeat you.

✿ This causes your boyfriend to step between you and Inosuke and commanded him that the Mist pillar will be the one who’s going to train him.

✿ Then the training commenced, Zenitsu kept on screaming that he’s going to die from the training despite that he’s much older than you and you’re just a kid.

✿ Inosuke was chasing down your boyfriend since he’s pissed that he’s continuously knocking down the pretty boy. However, the upshot was still the same, Muichiro would effortlessly beat and pummel him into the ground.

✿ So, the training goes on until the endless azure sky that was full of enthusiasm turned into its calming shade of salmon and cherry as the sun for the day was finally descending.

✿ You told them that you’re done for today and your training will recommence tomorrow. Zenitsu was glad to hear that the hellish training was completed and he can finally see his sweet Nezuko. However, Inosuke who has this superior stamina declined to end the training and still wants to defeat Muichiro.

✿ Tanjiro calmed his nerves and tell him that they’re going to continue since the night will gonna fall soon. But the stubborn boar head was still persistent and even draw his sword then point its tip to your boyfriend.

✿ “If you want to defeat Muichiro, you need to rest first so you’re in a good shape to beat him up. Is that okay with you?” You try to bargain with Inosuke and you really hope that he accepts your word since you’re really drained from training with them.

✿ When Inosuke finally accepted your proposal, you sighed in relief and glanced at your boyfriend to flash him a dazzling smile.

✿ Muichiro’s heart thumps once he sights your grin that you’re bestowing him, the childish smile that was illustrating on your amiable and lovely features… he really wouldn’t get weary of seeing it whether you give him the same smile every day.

✿ The Mist pillar only watched you interacting with the trio and laughing along with them. He didn’t care what the others were saying and his eyes only adhered at you as if the whole world only revolves around you and the faces of the Kamaboko gang vanished from his sight.

✿ He stared at your captivating visage and how your lips move when you’re talking.

✿ Oh, how he wants to crash his lips on your sweet lips because of how tempting it was.

✿ So when the trio bid their goodbyes to walk back to the butterfly estate, you hurriedly marched towards your Mist pillar boyfriend who was in a daze because of staring at you for too long. He didn’t even notice that you’re now in front of him.

✿ Hence, you pinched his nose to snap him back to reality. Muichiro was startled at your abrupt action and glance at you whose giggling because of the reaction he just proffered you.

✿ “You’re really cute, Muichiro.”

✿ That sweet smile of yours that mirrors the soothing breeze of the springtime that furnishes you the therapeutic sensation, and that’s the last thread, Muichiro couldn’t repress himself back anymore.

✿ Muichiro abruptly grabbed your shoulders and stared at you keenly. You only blink at him and tilt your head to the side because of bewilderment.

✿ And to your surprise, Muichiro hastily pecks your lips and turns around once he successfully gets the kiss that he was contemplating for about a week now.

✿ Of course, Muichiro is still a 14-year-old boy who isn’t legislatively qualified to do those rough or passionate kisses.

✿ So the best kiss for him is just a peck. JUST A PECK AND IT’S MAKING HIM BLUSH.

✿ WHAT MORE IF IT’S A PASSIONATE KISS? HE WILL FAINT FROM SO MUCH EMBARRASSMENT.

✿ The Mist pillar’s face was steaming because of the humiliation from kissing you out of the blue and to be specific… ON THE LIPS.

✿ That’s why your boyfriend immediately walks off without saying anything since he’s too ashamed to even take a glimpse at your figure.

✿ That’s was your first kiss in months of being in a relationship, excluded the kisses you both shared on the cheeks and forehead.

✿ “Muichiro…” you mumbled his name, still couldn’t comprehend the fact that Muichiro kissed you on the lips. But you would admit it, The Mist pillar’s lips were softer than yours.

✿ Eliciting a chuckle, you covered your mouth with the back of your hand and remember how Muichiro just kissed you.

✿ “Such a cutie…”

✿ No uncertainties, you’re going to kiss him more on the lips soon.

[lints41]

post-botw headcanons

i am just rambling under the cut. there is so much.

FIRST OFF: i feel like link will be more lighthearted, now? meanwhile zelda is incredibly serious. i feel this way because link has lowkey been alive for like... months? generally? it depends? more or less? and that whole time has been just. relearning/remembering his best friend and wanting her to be safe and doing everything in hopes of getting to her and hearing her and all that, the WHOLE TIME, and NOW... she’s safe!! and alive!! and physically with him!! and they just defeated a giant disgusting screaming glob of hate and LIVED! and now it’s over! finally holy fuck!! meanwhile zelda is seeing all of the destruction of her kingdom at once again. um so i feel like at least for a while he’d be like... Let me show you around! Let me show you my friends! Check out all of these Koroks! Meet Sidon! Come see Terry Town!! It’s all beautiful!! and she’s like “omg yes yes... ok ok real quick...” and he’d be like Look guys isn’t she beautiful!! and she’s like “OKOK *GRABS HIS HANDS* ALRIGHHT” anyway yeah

i want zelda to live with link in hateno village. okay?? OKAY??? where else is she going to go. and listen she would LOVE that freedom, at least i imagine she should. she wears link’s old hylian clothes as pajamas and sleeps in his bed while he sleeps on the floor (his decision) until he convinces bolson to make him a bed. and bolson’s like YOU FOUND THE ONE??? OF COURSE I WILL SUPPORT TRUE LOVE and link’s like N- Um nono Uh- and bolson’s like I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT LET’S GO KARSON 

zelda cannot sleep. she always wakes up in the middle of the night and either goes downstairs and covers the dining table with books and wakes link up with her light/her talking to herself. and link’s like Hewwo? and she’s like “im sorry go back to sleep!!” Or she leaves at night because she wants to go for a walk and clear her head. and at first link was like. worried and looking for her and then just waited outside all night for her to come home. she’s like “don’t wait for me. i am a grown woman i can be out on my own, its the safest its ever been” and hes like. MMMMMMm and then respects her and stays home n just worries about her when he tries to sleep

zelda cut her OWN hair. chopped it off. link sees it the next day or something and she doesn’t bring it up she’s just like “you ready to start the day??” and he’s like ... :-) Yes.

OK. BIG ONE. LINK TRAINS HER. FOR SURE. OK?? she’s like “link my powers are growing weaker and i’ve never been able to rely on them, PLS train me.” and he’s like You sure?? and she’s ilke “Yes.” and he’s like OK!! and then they start training together every morning. she sets up the schedule like “ok we’re gonna get up at 6am and run and then do sword practice for this long and bow practice for this long and blah blah blah” and he’s like Oh god. Okay. she’s very bad at first. she’s like “it can’t be that hard, i suppose we’ll have to spend a month or so on each weapon before i can be confident....” and then the swords are heavy and the bows are tight and she’s like DAMN IT and gets very frustrated. throws the bow on the ground and goes inside and link gives her space n stays outside. but she slowly gets better and training is a Huge bonding thing for them and it’s great. and she gets more confident because having that Physical Power that she can rely on is SO much better to her than her other power. so she’s happier and stronger and healthier and more playful and relaxed and it’s great (this is an advertisement for working out)

ok that’s the main stuff. now i will go into more specific, silly stuff. 

they eat dinner together when they can. they eat at the dinner table and link LOVES seeing her on the other side and glowing while she eats and he’s like :-) <3 and also, since he uses his hands, it doesn’t matter HOW MUCH food is shoved in his mouth, he can always speak and he gets hyped up and silly with her so he’s like SIGNSIGNSIGNSIGN and she’s like HAHAHASLOW DOWN (good happy times.)

the children LOOOOVE ZELDA. she’s a PRINCESS!! she sits and tells them stories and they follow her around and the girls want to be with her all the time. she’s nervous around kids though and is unsure of the attention, especially at first, so she’s like UHH HAHA YESYES... UM GO PLAY WITH LINK... OK... but eventually she’s like... i have the power to give these kids the childhood i never had .... and then starts doing her best to give them attention and show them love LINK is GREAT with the kids. all the kids love link too for different reasons he runs around and plays tag with them and watches them cook and cheers them on and gives them piggy back rides. i have an image of him with a blue flame (if you’ve never gone through town with a blue torch in hand then please do) and theres a kid on his shoulder and one clinging to his leg and two jumping at his feet. very cute. and he loves them, he loves making them laugh and teaching them sign and hearing their stories and all that. i think it’s classic for links to be good with kids.

i want them to be able to travel from shrine to shrine while holding hands or something. and he does it with her without thinking... grabs her hand and pulls out the sheikah slate like Why Walk? and she’s like “huh? HUH???” and they show up at another shrine and she’s like WHAT??? WHAT. WHAT and then researches it forever

also i imagine him being bad at spelling (of course) and i also headcanon that he doesn’t speak So. i imagine that like... ok. for example:

zelda: “did you see anything? before you.. died?” link: I can’t remember... zelda: “oh i’m sorry i don’t know that sign...” link: ! R-E-M-B-E-R zelda: ............R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R....? link: No, like... *imitates remembering* Remember. R-E-M-B-E-R. zelda: .........”link i think you mean reMEMber?” link: ? .......................Oh god OK i think that’s all i’ve got right now. lol. if you read this then thank you

[trensu]

Episode 34: The One where Detective Wangxian is on the Case!

WWX IS RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE!!

From Fairy the wonder dog, lol. The pupper just looks so pleased to be chasing after wwx.

Poor wwx gets himself cornered tho and jin ling looks all smug about it, the little brat

OMG I AM D Y I N G

Wwx: LAN ZHAN HELP MEEEEE

Lwj: *backflips into the scene with his scabbard held high totally ready to throw down with a kid*

Chill out, lwj, the kid’s like twelve

And as soon as lwj places himself in front of wwx to protect him from the big bad kid, wwx LATCHES ON TO HIM, 

GRIPPING LWJ’S SHOULDERS WITH ALL HIS MIGHT

AND HE’S ALL PRESSED UP AGAINST HIS BACK 

AHHHHHHHH

But lol, jin ling seems to seriously be weighing his options here?

Like, hmm, this is the great hanguang-jun so my odds aren’t the best but i got fairy the wonder dog and also my dad’s awesome Magic Ghost-Busting sword so…

Wwx: i’m so glad you’re here!

This is when lwj notices that wwx is actually cowering from the dog, not the child, and lwj levels a glare at the dog. Like, he really Glares at fairy.

Fairy NOPES right out of there bc animals have better self-preservation instincts than humans

Jin ling lets out this cute little gasp when fairy ditches him and then he glares at lwj

(pretty ballsy move coming from a kid, tbh)

Lwj, obvs, is completely unfazed and just gives him a cold stare in return

THEN JIN LING POUTS LIKE THE ADORABLE BRAT HE IS AND KICKS AT SOME BASKETS BEFORE STORMING OFF

LOVE THAT KID

(i mean, if i met a kid like that irl i’d probably hate his spoiled little guts, BUT BC THIS IS MAKE-BELIEVE I CAN ENJOY HIS BRATTY BEHAVIOR LOLOLOL)

Once the dog is gone, wwx makes this nervous little giggle (SO FREAKING CUTE) and peels himself off of lwj

Pretty sure lwj is like wait no come back, but like internally bc god forbid he express himself verbally

Wwx goes back to the mountebank and starts interrogating him about Plot Things

We’re gonna ignore all that chitchat and just watch his pretty face get all animated in detective mode

*dreamy sigh* wwx, so pretty so pretty

Lwj hasn’t stopped staring at him this whole time either! I FEEL YOU BRO

AHHHH WE SEE NHS BEING ALL MR. KNOW-NOTHING

“I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T KNOW, I REALLY DON’T KNOW. PLEASE DON’T ASK ME ME. I REALLY DON’T KNOW ANYTHING.”

LOVE THAT GUY

GIVE HIM AN ANCIENT FANTASY CHINA OSCAR.

Now we’re in a forest! This is MUCH better than the last time we were in a forest!!

OUR BOYS ARE WALKING SIDE BY SIDE TOGETHER LIKE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE AND I AM OVERJOYED

They’re chatting about the nie bros, like omg can’t believe nhs is sect leader and his big brother dropped dead???

SUDDENLY THERE’S BARKING!

Wwx: DOG!!

AND IMMEDIATELY DUCKS BEHIND LWJ, GRIPPING HIS UPPER ARMS LIKE HIS LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

HE’S MAKING HIMSELF ALL SMALL BEHIND HIS HANDSOME HEROIC SOULMATE WHO WILL DEF PROTECT HIM FROM ALL THE BIG MEAN DOGS IN THE WORLD

Lwj: wei ying, there’s no dogs here

Omg wwx is clinging so close that his chin brushes up against lwj’s shoulder aND I AM SWOONING

Oh, but he lets go, all embarrassed and awkward

Lwj gives him a Look

Wwx: don’t look at me like that

Lwj: why are you afraid of dogs?

Wwx: don’t ask me why either

HE SOUNDS SO CUTE AND SULKY SAYING THAT AND HE’S GOT A LITTLE POUT

AND I’M JUST LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO CUTE I’M GONNA DIE

Lwj is a perfect gentleman tho bc he just accepts that wwx doesn’t want to talk about the dog thing and goes on ahead

But before lwj can get even 3 steps away, wws LUNGES for him and grabs his arm

Wwx: lan zhan! Alright, i’ll tell you, i’ll say it

He says this like lwj twisted his arm and forced him to or smth lol

Wwx: i was a street kid when i was little and often had to fight stray dogs for food

POOR BB!WWX :( :( :(

Wwx: thankfully jfm took me to lotus pier but he also made jc send away his puppers, just like i made jin ling do…

Wwx: they really live up to their blood; he hates me so much. Just like jc.

HE SOUNDS SO SADDDD

And then he sighs like resigned to the fact that his brother will hate him forever??? WHICH HURTS ME SO MUCH, LET MY YUNMENG BROS RECONCILE AND BE HAPPY, DAMN IT

Wwx: lan zhan, let’s go

2 seconds later he hears barking again

Wwx freAKING YANKS LWJ IN FRONT OF HIM AND THEN COWERS BEHIND HIM IN THE MOST ADORABLE WAY

Wwx: that really is a dog, right??

HE CLINGS SO TIGHTLY TO LWJ’S ARMS, I CAN’T

Lwj: it’s still far. Why are you hiding?

He asks like he's not absolutely LOVING having wwx cling to him

We get a wonderful close up shot of wwx’s face here, so please take a moment to admire it (so pretty, so pretty, i love him!!)

Wwx: just let me hide!!

Lwj: *lets him hide* it sounds like jin ling’s wonder dog. It’s barking, something must’ve happened

Wwx: let’s...let’s take a look?

Awww, wwx stutters that out and he’s all pale with fear but he’s still willing to go investigate BC HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HIS NEPHEW IS SAFE DESPITE THE BIG SCARY DOG

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Wwx: h-hanguang jun, move. How can i move if you don’t move?

BC HE’S STILL ALL CROUCHED BEHIND HIM, SO CUTE SO CUTE

Lwj purses his lips here and looks back at wwx

Lwj: let go of me first

It comes off as kind of annoyed BUT WE ALL KNOW HE’S JUST UPSET THAT WWX IS GONNA HAVE TO UN-CLING FROM HIM

And now we get beautiful close up shots of wwx’s hands gripped ever so tightly on lwj’s fancy white outer robes and watch as they very reluctantly loosen and let go

He’s laughing all nervously aND CRINKLES HIS NOSE WITH A BASHFUL SMILE AND I’M GONNA DIE FROM THE CUTE OMG

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

HAVE I MENTIONED?? BC I DO. SO VERY MUCH.

As soon as lwj forges ahead, wwx grabs him by the shoulders again and follows close behind lol

Oh great, more fog in a forest

Wwx: this is a disorientation trap! It must’ve been set by a human

Lwj: looks like the legends of walker ridge are not unfounded

(oh yeah, plot thing about a man-eating ridge which is why we’re in the forest)

Wwx: lan zhan look!

AND NOW WE GET TO WATCH THEM WORK TOGETHER

I LOVE WATCHING THEM WORK TOGETHER

LOOK AT THEM BEING BEAUTIFUL AND IN LOVE AND DETECTIVE-ING ALL OVER THE PLACE

And now we’re at a mysterious creepy bunker in the middle of the forest!

Fairy barks again and wwx hides behind lwj AGAIN and everything IS GREAT

Wwx: why can i hear the dog but not see it???

Lwj: the disorientation trap must be keeping it out

Wwx: would jin ling be kept out by the trap too??

Lwj: nah, if jin ling were out, the dog wouldn’t be freaking out

Wwx: makes sense *does that nose tap thing THAT I LOVE* sooo how do we get in?

Lwj goes to investigate and wwx lunges for him again

Wwx: ah! Lan zhan, wait for me!!

I AM LOVING EVERY SECOND OF THIS

Our boys find that the bunker’s been busted open and figure that jin ling must’ve done it so they go inside to look for him

We hear screechy noises of resentful energy

Oh no! Wwx gets all woozy from it!

Lwj: how is it?

Wwx: noisy

HE KEEPS HAVING TO PAUSE TO CATCH HIMSELF, MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY

Oh, he pulls out the evil-detecting compass to help guide them through the bunker

Following the compass, following the compass, compass tick tick ticks away

BLADES SHRINE

WE’VE ARRIVED AT THE BLADES SHRINE

Wwx starts calling out for his nephew and he and lwj start cracking open caskets like graverobbers, shame on them!

Wwx: weird. Why are they all blades?

GUQIN TIME

I LOVE GUQIN TIME

IT’S INQUIRY GUQIN TIME!! EVEN MORE FUN!!!

Wwx gets all excited: you’re associating with the spirit?

Lwj: *nods* he’s here

Wwx: ask him for me - what is this place, what is it for, built by whom?

Omg wwx take it easy, one question at a time plz

Ofc lwj just goes ahead and does exactly as his wei ying asks him

The guqin lets out a couple of notes from the spirit (FOREVER THE COOLEST WAY TO COMMUNE WITH SPIRITS)

Wwx: what did he say?

Lwj: idk

Wwx: ??????

Lwj: the spirit said ‘i don’t know’

Wwx: good for you lan zhan, you even know how to make me speechless now

Lwj keeps playing his guqin for answers

EEEEEEEEEE WWX JUST CLIMBS UP AND PLOPS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE COFFIN THAT’S HOLDING LWJ’S GUQIN AND JUST SCOOTS HIMSELF CLOSER TO LWJ

I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY

So they keep interrogating the spirit and find out that the spirit knows nothing

Wwx: a spirit confined here and he knows nothing? It’s the first time i’ve ever seen a spirit like that

Wwx: lan zhan, could the spirit be...nhs?

HE SAYS WITH A HUGE SUNNY SMILE ON HIS FACE AAAAAAHHHHHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Wwx: lol jk, don’t mind me. Lan zhan, how about asking it’s gender. He should know this

Lwj: male

Wwx: FINALLY a decent answer

They keep asking questions and determine that jin ling is in fact in the room even tho they haven’t seen him anywhere!

Wwx: could the spirit be lying??

Lwj: i’m here. He can’t lie.

Look, i know he means it bc spirits can’t lie through inquiry or whatever but i LOVE the implication that people simply cannot lie in the presences of the great hanguang jun

Lwj starts guqin’ing again while wwx searches the blades shrine again

We get a shot from outside the bunker and see the robes of a ~mysterious figure~

Ooooh, and we get an absolutely GORGEOUS close up shot of lwj’s eye (lovin that eyebrow, man) as he listens to the spirit’s response

Wwx: what did you ask him?

Lwj: his age and where he’s from

Wwx: what did he say?

Lwj: 16, lanling

WORRIED UNCLE!WWX (also, i guess jl is not twelve, but whatever)

Aaaanndd we find out jin ling is inside the wall of the blades shrine!

Lwj goes and cuts the wall to pieces with bichen like a badass

And wwx immediately starts digging his little nephew out

HE’S SO WORRIED FOR HIM

He’s calling his name out and lwj goes and gives the boy some spiritual energy since he’s all unconscious from being stuck in a wall

Lol while lwj is doing that, wwx grabs bichen and starts poking it into the dirt

Seems kinda disrespectful to bichen, if you ask me...but lwj and bichen don’t seem to mind so whatever

Wwx gets all woozy from the resentful spiritual energy again

He’s starting to piece things together when jin ling suddenly wakes up (kinda)

Jin ling like, zombie-walks himself back into the wall

Lwj and wwx look at each other like what the heck??

They decide they probably shouldn’t stick around so get out of the bunker

They spot someone running away from the area and wwx is like go catch them, lan zhan!

Lwj: i’ll go. You and jin ling…

And wwx is all, i’ll get him out of here and we can meet up at the tavern after

Lwj stares at him BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO LEAVE HIS SIDE, HE JUST GOT HIM BACK LAST EPISODE!!

But wwx is like, lan zhan go catch the bad guy before he gets away!

Wwx: i’ll be there. Lan zhan, take care

Chase scene!

Huh, nhs is pretty nimble on his feet, isn’t he?

Lwj chucks bichen at him but only manages to slice off a piece of his robes

THAT’S SOME NICE LOOKING FABRIC THO

I’D BE MAD AS HELL IF SOMEONE CARELESSLY SLICED UP MY GOOD FABRIC LIKE THAT OMG

Oooh, wwx got jin ling back to his room and noticed a curse mark on jin ling’s leg

He pulls open jl’s robes to see if the mark spread to his chest (it hasn’t)

Ofc jin ling wakes up just as wwx finishes doing that

Jl: whAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU TAKING OFF MY CLOTHES

Good boy, jl, that is exactly how you should react if some strange guy tries to undress you when you’re unconscious

Wwx: why are you freaking out bro, i just saved you from that man-eating wall

And jl is all IMMA KILL YOU!!

And wwx is like been there done that, don’t really want a repeat…

Wwx sees jl’s jade lotus pendant and asks him about it

Jl: my mother left me this! Don’t touch it!!

See, jl is such a brat but then these little moments happen and i just want to hug him and bundle him up in blankets and make him hot chocolate…

HE’S SO STARVED FOR LOVING FAMILY AND AFFECTION, THAT POOR KID ;_;

We get a flashback to jyl giving wwx a similar pendant and wwx clutches at his robes in AGONY at the memory

Lol

Jl uses this moment to put on his boots and FUCKING BOOK IT RIGHT OUTTA THERE

GOOD FOR YOU KID, GOOD FOR YOU

DEF THE RIGHT RESPONSE AFTER ALMOST GETTING UNDRESSED BY SOME STRANGE MASKED DUDE

Cut to street view, wwx is wandering around trying to find jin ling but instead he hears jc’s voice and dives for the first hiding place he can find

LOL I LOVE LISTENING TO JC AND JL INTERACT

Jc is scolding jl ofc

Jl: don’t grab me like that, i’m not a 3yo!!

Jc: you think i can’t discipline you now?? EVEN IF YOU’RE 30, I CAN STILL DISCIPLINE YOU

Omg this is freaking hilarious, i love these two

Then jc asks him where Fairy is

Wwx is all smug thinking to himself: lan zhan must have driven it away

And the world is like, PSYCH FAIRY’S ACTUALLY RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU

Wwx almost avoided a jc encounter

He would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for that meddling dog

At least we get to see jc use zidian. I love zidian.

We get a big reveal scene and jc finds out that mo xuanyu is Wei Wuxian, surprise!!

Oh no, sad/angry yunmeng bro time (I MISS MY HAPPY YUNMENG BRO TIMES, GIVE THOSE BACK)

They’re back at an inn or whatever and jc is really just tearing into wwx

We’re not gonna go into detail except for this bit - 

Jc: 16 years...and lan wangji STILL wants to protect you

He’s so mad

It’s giving me Emotions™

Jc: maybe he’s not doing this to protect you. Someone with such integrity couldn’t possibly tolerate you. Maybe he had a deal with the guy who saved you.

Wwx: JC! Watch your language!

LOOK AT HIM DEFEND HIS SOULMATE FROM SLANDER

Yikes, they keep arguing and jfc they really know how to hit where it hurts, don’t they?

A wild Jin Ling appears!!

He lies through his teeth to JC. like yeah, i totally saw wen ning in an abandoned shack really really far away from here, for real :D

Now jin ling is in charge of guarding wwx after jc ties him up with zidian (seriously the COOLEST spiritual tool)

Jin ling takes it right off 

I LOVE THAT THE ZIDIAN LISTENS TO JIN LING OMG

We get a lot of fun uncle wwx and nephew jin ling interaction here bc jin ling helps wwx escape into the forest

Oh look, another moment that makes me like jin ling

He helps wwx escape since wwx saved him from the killer wall

He has honor!

Also wwx apologizes to jl here for that time he stuck his foot in his mouth way back at the start of the series

Wwx demonstrates his A+ acting skills by pretending to have been caught by jc and jl whirls around in a panic and wwx knocks him out

He inspects the curse mark on jl and is all, hmmm, can’t undo that curse rn but i can totally transfer it onto myself to save my nephew

And that’s the end of the episode!

LOOK AT ALL THE QUALITY WANGXIANTICS WE GOT!!!

THANK GOD, WE DEF DESERVE IT AFTER ALL THAT PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE WE ENDURED IN THE LAST FEW EPISODES

*hugs episode to their chest, sobbing* I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH, DON’T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN

Return to Masterpost

[jawusa]

Goldie’s Adventures on the Moon - Day 3

Chapter 3: Is it love, when so easily said goodbye? 

Ever since Mom's passed away, I always woke up with tears. She used to wake me up for school in the mornings - something that not everyone would do. My mom was by far the best mom out there! But something was strange on that day, I wasn't thinking about Mom when I woke up. I wasn't thinking about how she used to cook pancakes with me in the mornings. I wasn't thinking about how we'd sometimes go hiking around town. I wasn't even thinking about how she'd read me to sleep when I was a little kid. On that day, I was actually thinking about... uhmm about that cute boy whom I met just two days ago? And I didn't wake up with tears, but with a stange feeling of joy! I actually woke up with a smile after such a long time of grieving! 

Dad, Rhett and I decided to go to the Lunar Zen Garden on that day! Actually, we went there... because my Dad's seen this place with Rhett yesterday while I was spending some time in Hua's clothier and they really wanted me to check that place out. They'd say it's the best place for me to find happiness! They'd tell me to toss a coin in that shrine thingy and wish something! At first, I didn't really approve of what I was supposed to do - but I guess, it really did some magic on me? Because of the things... which came about later on that day... that day was kinda strange, though!

But I really loved the garden, though! It was so beautifully decorated with those tiny bridges and canals... and those cherry trees! Oh my! I really had a great time raking the zen garden! It felt so relaxing - but forreal! 

Rhett came to check on me every now and then, but I kept on shooing him away... he just... couldn't see that I was trying to concentrate and find my inner peace? Sheesh! He was playing some mahjong - or what was that game called again? - with Dad and those natives. Sometimes they ask me whether I'd like to join them, but there was this guy I kinda thought looked weird with such a top hat and Asian looking clothing... some people know him as the Unsavory Charlatan - that name already scared me off! But Dad and Rhett were still going for the game... (btw, I couldn't take a picture of him, he'd avoid being on camera for some reason... but he was playing with those other natives on the other table!) 

Anyway, I was soo into medidating, that I completely forgot what was all around me. For one second, I even forgot where I was... I couldn't hear anything... I couldn't see anything... I couldn't even feel anything, not even the ground! It felt like I was levitating forreal! But... hold on, I felt something observing me from the other side... I felt something smiling at me... I felt... I felt something approaching me... I felt... I felt... I... "Hey, OMG you're Goldie! What a surprise to see you around here! How are things with you?" 

I... could literally just... GOSHH! Ground, pleasee, PLEASEE swallow me?! That was soo embarrassing... and when I looked around, I saw his friend (with whom he had played chess before... all the time?)! He was smiling at me... mischievously? "Hehe, I've seen you raking, then medidating..." "Ooh, so.. you've literally seen everything?" "Hey... you didn't do that bad... let's just... have this moment together!" *grabs hand OMG and then, YOU GUYS, he GRABBED my hand... OMG, I... I didn't even know what to say at that moment! At first I was afraid... I was petrified! 

"Goldie, I've been trying to say this to you ever since I've first met you... ever since I've first seen you, ... ever since Day 1, but uhmm..." 

"I think I have a crush on you, Goldie! Your eyes are so beautiful! I... I'm so into you, I can barely breathe! "Uhmm... Qiu, I..." "I've been waiting and waiting for you to make a move... before I make a move!"

And then, he really kissed my lips! OMG, that was my first kiss... and I'd never imagine it to be in a romantic zen garden... in outer space! They say you never forget your very first kiss, and now I can see why! Either way, it was lovely! "So, uhmm... now you know, how I feel towards you, Goldie!" "Awww, you're soo romantic! I think I have a crush on you, too! I was shy to tell you this as well... and actually, I didn't even know myself what was going on... because I've never been this shy before, I'm actually an outgoing girl, I never had to struggle to find the words and it's so strange... I couldn't even... " "Lemme hug you one last time, babe!" *Goldie blushes 

Dad and Rhett must have probably seen me when I had my first kiss... they smiled at me... my Dad even winked at me, but we didn't say any words. It was just this... awkward moment where nobody would talk... and all! I was getting hungry... and just asked my Dad whether we'd go for a dinner soon? Since it was already getting too late... he just nodded and kept on smiling... which was even WEIRDER than it was before!

Anyway, later on that day, we went to dine in a traditional tea house/restaurant! They didn't have my favorite hamburgers on their menu, but they had other fancy-looking meals... which I haven't heard of before! I couldn't really choose, because literally EVERYTHING seemed foreign to me! But I could remember ordering something... which looked like a salmon on the menu! Not that I tried it before, but it looked somewhat familiar to what I'm used to, so I went for it! The salmon was... good! Though, I wasn't sure, why Rhett decided to eat on a different table! Maybe he did that on purpose, so I could have some "daddy & daughter" time? I don't know... but Dad told me something... out of blue. All of sudden, he was like: "Girl, I'm so glad to see you happy again! I told you, you'd be happy after tossing a coin or two into that shrine..." At that moment, I understood why he kept insisting me on tossing that coin into that shrine thingy when we first arrived at the Lunar Zen Garden... 

By the time we finished our dinner, the sun still hadn't set yet, and Rhett insisted on visiting the spa & gym... he's heard that they have these hot springs, which he REALLY wanted to try out... I mean, I couldn't blame him! After all, I was curious to see what these moon geysirs were all about! Thankfully, we had a great time spending time together as a family! I just noticed how I missed that in the past, but for the first time after all of these years, I wish that Candy were here as well! Things were about to improve between I and Rhett, too! I was getting along with all of them! Back in my miserable days, I'd always reject Rhett - remember the "silly" attempts of him trying to talk to me through my childhood teddy bear... GOSH, he was trying to cheer me up and I acted like an idiot! "Uhmm, Rhett? I'd like to tell you something..." "What?" "Well, now that I think, I really appreciate all the effort you've done for me! Like... you know, to cheer me up with the teddy bear and all..." "Yeah, I remember... it was probably a bad idea. I thought it'd work since as a kid, it did..." "Well, I'm a teenager now..." "True." "But hey, at least you tried to cheer me up... and to tell the truth, it does cheer me up, now that I think you tried to do something for me! Thanks for that!" "You're welcome, but look behind you! Isn't that your new boyfriend?" 

I turned my head... and OMG, it was him indeed! It was Q! And when I looked upon him... he winked at me! "So, I bet you guys want some privacy, right?" "Daaad... I'm..." "I know what you mean, Goldie! I've felt this way many times when I had my first fling in the hot tub!" *winks at Qiu and Goldie 

It kinda felt bizarre when my Dad had to give away way too much info... and it made me feel very AWKWARD at that moment! Like FORREAL! They all were into something... all of these boys! I just couldn't... understand them! Q didn't even seem to be irritated or something... I just hope he does forget about what my Dad just decided to reveal? It was a steamy atmosphere, though... with him! But not just with him, I mean... it was literally steamy, what else would you expect at the hot springs? So... that "steamy" term applies well here! Either way... I really enjoyed this steamy moment with... uhm, him? As always, kinda... Dad and Rhett would tell me that they'd be "out for fun" again... like on the other days. They never really told me where they'd go, but it had always to do with nightlife venues... kinda? Anyway, I couldn't blame them anymore... I mean, I'm a grown-up girl now and I don't need their company all the time! As much as I wanted to be left "alone" with Q, I guess... they wanted to have some time off on their own, too! 

But... my, oh, my! Those dance moves! LOL! Even I could dance better... I mean, Rhett's got something still, but Dad, he really sucks at dancing! But he thinks he can dance, he can jive! But at least, he's having the time of his life! And I'm happy for him... and Rhett, too! In the past, I'd be mad at him for moving on too fast, but he's right! We can't be stuck in sorrow FOREVER! One day, we just... have to break free and be happy again!

If I were to choose which day my favourite day was on the moon... I guess, it'd be this one here? I just had my first kiss? OMG, how cool's that?! And did you hear what he said? He just confessed his feelings to me... and I could finally do as well! I WASN'T expecting ANY of this! This is soooo GREAT! OMG! I'm literally melting! Alright, enough is enough... lol! But I could literally be raving about him all day long! I felt SO flattered when he confessed his feelings... Oh, wait, I have to tell this Hua! And Virginia, my best friend back in Widespot, too! Maybe this would even encourage her to confess her feelings to Woddy, too! I mean, she's told me once that she's a crush on that Woody boy? Why did I forget that? HOW could I forget that?! They don't even know what just happened today! Hold on, dear diary, let me text to them real quick...

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: That hoodie was yours anyway so welcome for finally getting it back Jimmy: Knew the 🚬 hole weren't you 🤓 Janis: cheek Janis: I've took well good care of it Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: it's too early for your condescension Janis: 🤐 unless you're saying tah for not having to walk home in a mini skirt Jimmy: but not too early for your 🤓 words, eh? Jimmy: I get it, only one of us is allowed to show off Janis: showing off your pins in the PM is a different vibe completely to the AM, trust Janis: be well 💔 if you got molested/hate crimed Jimmy: Oi, it's well 💔 that you've forgotten how 💪🏆 I am, pisshead Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: 1. you were AS wasted, you didn't even get home so, worse, some would say 2. you pretty much pissed yourself when the kid came charging in so I might need reminding before I believe that again Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: is it though Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: but if you need it SHOUTED, alright Janis: gonna need 📣 and then some Janis: back in the middle of nowhere now Jimmy: should've said, you could've had the 🐑 costume Jimmy: Gracie'd never 👀 you Janis: had to happen eventually Janis: the last thing I wanna do is #twin Janis: hopefully she ain't here Jimmy: easy, just steer clear of the ✨ Janis: not so easy at this time of year Janis: shit gets everywhere Jimmy: if you ain't up to the challenge, Jill Janis: seeing as I avoid them a lot better than you do Janis: pretty confident on that Jimmy: #whenshesnotthelassyouthoughtshewere 😭🎻💔 Jimmy: but it's alright I'll ❌ out the bollocks and leave the compliment about how you look Janis: 🙄 cry me a river, dickhead Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: glad I ain't gotta fake my 😍 right now Jimmy: too 🥺 about leaving me an' all, obvs Jimmy: ALWAYS on the same page, us Janis: Obvs Janis: don't worry, christmas with my family is shit enough that's what they'll all reckon from the 😒 Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: only 1 of 'em is in our target audience Jimmy: and if she were a 🖍 it'd be no dickhead's fave colour Janis: just 💪 that I don't need the day off Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: so impressive, you Janis: tah for the validation Janis: christmas came early Jimmy: long as it's just 🎄 Jimmy: don't need that rumour spread about, tah Janis: 😂 Janis: save it for the bitter breakup Jimmy: for all the dickheads in my DMs it'd put off, there'd be lasses taking it as a challenge or compliment Janis: true Janis: just go with my original plan and pretend you never existed Janis: what's more damning Janis: 👻❓ Jimmy: sir weren't having that Janis: number 1 fan? Jimmy: of me having a beard so he can have me behind shut classroom doors Janis: an idea Janis: I'll just out you Jimmy: new lad with no mates ✔ Jimmy: shit home life ✔ Jimmy: worked it all out, him Jimmy: gutted he can't do the same with you and your 😈💡 Janis: how many teachers they need for an official ring? Jimmy: dunno, tried to google it, well distracted now Janis: 🚨🚨 Jimmy: undercover 👮🚔 perks Jimmy: it were all for a case, mate Janis: too real Jimmy: 💰 on Mia's dad trying that one on an' all Janis: oldest trick in the book Jimmy: #defensesquad Janis: in good company Jimmy: first time he'll have heard that Janis: except from his delightful daughter, obvs Janis: no news on how in the shit she is Janis: I'll 🔍 Jimmy: I'll ask Asia, nowt that lass won't tell me Janis: aren't you #blessed Jimmy: 🎁 that keeps on giving Jimmy: and you reckoned 🎄 came early for you Janis: 🤢 Janis: too early for that as well Jimmy: if I open my DMs to find she's wrapped a bow round herself you don't wanna know, I get it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: I really  don't Janis: 'til you're gonna go there and then give me 48hrs notice tah Jimmy: never gonna be that pissed, you're alright Janis: 😏 never again, is it? Janis: my grandparents were in a mood so maybe you did spray their bathroom with puke Jimmy: never her Jimmy: and you could be proud of me for finding their 🚽 dickhead Janis: never said I weren't Janis: they don't know how challenged and northern you are Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you're dead proud they never heard me 🗨 Jimmy: 🔇🏆 Janis: you must've been signing Janis: I dunno Jimmy: if that's what I were doing with my hands I'm chuffed you can't remember owt Jimmy: be a piss poor review Janis: I weren't THAT drunk Janis: but I'll keep that 🤐 in my general daily praise of you for the socials 🙄 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I weren't Janis: twat Jimmy: 👌 Janis: U G H Janis: what are you doing on your day off then Janis: 'cos yeah, I caught that bit of their 📞 Jimmy: whatever he wants Janis: cute Jimmy: leave it out, I know you caught how 😁 he were an' all Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt ain't just for you, Joan Janis: I was being sincere, actually Jimmy: were you? Janis: yeah Janis: it's cute he likes you so much Jimmy: he don't know any better Jimmy: give him a bit Janis: you've got a few years 'til hormones are an issue Jimmy: tah for the reminder Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: better off 🤞 there ain't any more Janis: could always book him a vasectomy for his 🎁 Jimmy: least my mum dunno which doorstep is ours to leave any 👶 on Janis: silver lining Janis: my sister'll be here with her brats now Jimmy: I should've got you a 🎻🎁 Jimmy: Have you got Libi an' all? Janis: you should've booked me a medical coma Janis: yeah, we usually all get together, at least for the meal Janis: it's ridiculous Jimmy: tah for my invite Janis: 🎟 to the 🎪 Janis: nah, you're alright Jimmy: so what, been working on my 🤹 for nowt? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: you could come to midnight mass Janis: that's a fun thing my sister forces me to do Jimmy: I get it, you didn't get your 🎄🔥 Jimmy: as a stand in goes, any heathen'll do Janis: it's Catholicism Janis: all 😈 happily welcomed Jimmy: alright then Janis: 😂 yeah right Jimmy: if our kid ain't asleep, he can do my sister's head in for a bit Janis: you want a chance to piss off my other nan? Janis: she'll probably love you 'cos shit home life ✔ Jimmy: I were in it for the 🎨 but you've sold that an' all now Janis: 'course you were Janis: why not Janis: if I HAVE to go Jimmy: can I borrow your 👼🏽 ootd or is it too fucked from last night? Janis: Sadly that literal piece of fabric I'd wrapped around myself did not last the evening Janis: you'll think of something, I know Jimmy: it'll be round a 🎄 by now Jimmy: whoever's got the 🥇 shrine going Janis: graced by my 🍑 Janis: what could be more 🙌🙏 worthy Jimmy: nowt OBVS Janis: tah babes Jimmy: [a picture of all the carnage Twix has caused with these decs cos she's a naughty bab] Janis: 😬 uh-oh Janis: no more nice list Jimmy: can kinky Jesus top that for 🎨? Janis: top of the list always Janis: favourite son Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I get why you 💕🙌🙏 me now Janis: ha Janis: fairplay I'll lead with that comparison when introducing you Jimmy: it's a good shout Janis: it's not but it's blasphemous Janis: might get an exorcism out of it 🤞 Jimmy: I can't help being white, soz Janis: this is my 🤶🏾 so she'll be vexed x2 Janis: well done Jimmy: not calling you a slag again but if you wanna give me my 🏆 in a way that'd have Jesus chuffed to bits and her fuming, I'll live Jimmy: 💭 on it for a bit Janis: 🤔 Janis: washing your feet with my hair or??? Janis: ask Gracie, hers is detachable Jimmy: I know you don't wanna twin but about the only place I ain't found strands of yours is between my toes Jimmy: tah for not making me hold it back last night Jimmy: two handed job, that Janis: if that's what you were doing with your hands, loads to brag about in the review Janis: I dunno then, fish supper? Jimmy: stick it in the group chat ❌🤮 bit and we'll see if 💀👑 still has her phone Janis: about my lack of a gag reflex? Janis: #hardrelate and they're 😭😭 they lost it Janis: more valuable 🍒 Jimmy: her dad wouldn't agree and he'll not have stopped 😭😭 about that lad Janis: can get surgery to pop that back Janis: her ma will know Jimmy: 🎄🎁 sorted Janis: he'll still KNOW Janis: no going back to being 👸 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: who's not got a dad now, like Janis: #disowned Jimmy: if she kills herself and I get stuck with her 👻 Jimmy: that there's a REAL rom com, soz babe Janis: happily let her take you off my hands Jimmy: 👍 Janis: forever ever is an awfully long time Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: gutted I don't have a 💍 to do you a fake proposal at midnight mass Jimmy: need a Sharon leaving her tat about, sort it out Ian Janis: leaning into the hallmark romcoms there Jimmy: your nan not a fan? Janis: god knows Janis: literal, probably chats about her daily with him constant Jimmy: 😂 Janis: poor bloke Janis: not even a nun, stop bending his ear like you 💍 him Jimmy: #godssidechick Janis: she's used to it Janis: 😱 Janis: LOVES the priest and all Jimmy: OMG how fit and mysterious is he? Janis: Well there's a NEW one, can you believe it Janis: haven't been in years, like Jimmy: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: @graciegurl I NEED a makeover RN Janis: she'll be too busy trying to match with a baby Jimmy: 📷 tah Janis: what? Jimmy: come on, I wanna 👀 see who's 😭 more, her or the 👶 Janis: oh Janis: [probably already harassing ruster and the kids so have at those socials] Jimmy: what did you think I meant? Janis: that would wanted her to 📷 her motd for you to copy or something Jimmy: 🥇💡 out serve her 👗 in the eyes of god Janis: is that really a challenge though Jimmy: nah, which is why I won't actually bother Janis: sure she won't either Janis: not in a 😍 way, just the wholesome 😇 thing Jimmy: as excuses go, it's a 🏅 for participation again Janis: well you'll see why when you get there Jimmy: LOVE it when you bust out a threat Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: it's not a threat really but again, sure you will be Jimmy: SO 😁 me Jimmy: sod off 🎅 I'm waiting for god to hand out the 🎁🎁 Janis: ugh don't Janis: she does think she's a fucking gift from god Jimmy: I wanna hate her but obvs that's where you get your big head from, girl and I 💕 that about you Janis: shut up Janis: I ain't nothing like her Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: one of a kind 🏆 Janis: just not a cunt Jimmy: thank GOD we're faking this 'cause that's totally my type Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: go on Janis: go have a good day Janis: see you later Jimmy: say piss off like you mean it Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: I just don't want to talk about my family Jimmy: alright Jimmy: crack on slagging off mine for a bit if you want Jimmy: piss easy 🎯 Janis: I'm alright for it Janis: I'll go put myself in that coma Jimmy: nice of you to give Lucas a 🎁 Jimmy: I'll fake not feeling left out Janis: oi Janis: I gave you presents Jimmy: not an induced coma though, were it? Janis: crack on if you've got a spare 5 minutes Jimmy: for you, always have 💕 Janis: so goals Janis: isn't that another Sandy film? Jimmy: not her in the coma Jimmy: but there is sibling bollocks that Gracie'd lose her shit over Janis: yeah but she does fuck a dude in a coma, more or less Janis: is what I'm getting at Jimmy: she's desperate for it, til she ain't Jimmy: not fake dating the way we do it Janis: so she pussies out at the end Janis: 🙄 Janis: expected better of you, Sandra Jimmy: it's ages before then, trying to crack on to his brother as soon as he shows up, her Jimmy: ain't a kink unlocked, Lucas'll have to elsewhere to feel seen Janis: you know the best sites, share the wealth 👮🚨 Jimmy: might if he's got a 🎁 for me Janis: it's the detentions when we get back Janis: no patience, you Jimmy: be long gone by then Janis: sucks for you then Jimmy: you'll have to tell me about it Janis: what, in my 💌s Jimmy: slide into my DMs, baby Jimmy: won't be that many J's in there Jimmy: if we're going back up north no dickhead knows their alphabet that far Jimmy: 👶 names stop at G for Gaz Janis: yet your ability to think up obscure J names knows no bounds Janis: weird flex but alright Jimmy: 🖋🎨 Janis: oh I get it Janis: Bill talking right now Janis: 👋 lad Jimmy: valorous m'rning, wench 👋 Jimmy: at which hour art thee going to leaveth this daw and runneth off with me? Jimmy: that gent cannot coequal readeth 'r writeth Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: how shall thee knoweth thou art did love?!! Janis: I feel like Asia any time any lad opens his mouth Janis: don't fully know what you're saying but I know I like it Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: he's taking the piss out of me, 'course you do Janis: of course Janis: SUCH a bully, me Jimmy: the angelics were last night Jimmy: you've got today off Janis: s'what 💀👑 crying on in my inbox right now Janis: not like she actually makes it her life's mission to be a massive bitch to everyone or nothing 👌 Jimmy: show us Janis: [Mia acting the victim like THAT WAS TOO FAR I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE etc] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: bit rude of her to give me fuck all credit Janis: the obsession is real Janis: plus why blame a lad when you can a girl Janis: more drama more fun 🙌 Jimmy: do you wanna do something? Jimmy: no challenge to go further Janis: Don't know Janis: if she's bullshitting how serious it actually is, there's always NYE to fuck up as well Jimmy: alright, do you want a night off instead? Janis: it's christmas eve Jimmy: and? Janis: only the really unlucky work it Janis: and 🎅 Jimmy: there you go then, be piss easy to do 📵 Janis: but you've got your brother Jimmy: weren't gonna put him on a selfie ban an' all Janis: he would be gutted Jimmy: he's already watched Rudolf get bullied by the 😎 lad who looks like he were in a reindeer boyband, bit of the glowing red nose for him it were, but we know how it ends Jimmy: he'll dry his eyes and be alright Janis: that film is brutal Janis: should come with a warning, tbh Jimmy: that'll be why Ian put it on for him Janis: seems like his cup of tea Janis: if your difference makes you useful, then we'll start being alright to you Janis: dunno how being deaf is gonna get all the prezzies out on time but you know Jimmy: toughen up and get a job, lad Jimmy: dunno what you're pissing about at Janis: being 6? psh Jimmy: when he were 6 he were down a mine, DUH Janis: and that's why you're short Janis: got it Jimmy: and that's why I've gotta wear 👠 Janis: Alright, you can borrow a pair Janis: don't beg Jimmy: soz that I wanna be a slag for Jesus Jimmy: his foot fetish is well known, gotta go above and beyond 🏆 Janis: 😂 Janis: slags4jesus is the name of the women's group she runs so Janis: fit right in Jimmy: sign me up Janis: 'course Janis: really, you just try to one up each other with the best 🍰s and who the father LOVES more Janis: well like the gals, so easy Jimmy: well in, I'll do a 🥧 Jimmy: cut my 👶🦷 on crusts 🍺s and 🥔s Janis: down the mines, I remember Janis: she LOVES a sob story Janis: obvs, the bible is one big 😭😱🤯 read Jimmy: that's him, my only job were being a MASSIVE letdown, obvs Jimmy: employee of the month every time Janis: even barista boy is preferrable Janis: at least you can't be a mistake, being the first, like Jimmy: still managed it 🏆🥇💪 Jimmy: middle kid's the only one they wanted, bit awkward she's a girl, like Janis: 👎 unlucky, Ian Jimmy: unlucky for me I am his Jimmy: 😒 an' all Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: nothing more disappointing Jimmy: 🤞 for my sister she ain't Jimmy: be nowt better as a 🎄🎁 Janis: What do you mean? Jimmy: having a different dad would be #ultimategoals Janis: or something to have a complex about Janis: go find the other cunt and he's just as shit Jimmy: he'd have to go some Jimmy: or be 💀💀💀 Janis: give a bloke a chance and he'll just disappoint you Janis: 2 of my sisters have a different dad, and he's just as shit, just not dead Janis: not like your mum was hiding a 🤴 right Janis: fairytale shit Jimmy: Oi, that don't sound like you've been taking notes from Rudolf's #rideordie missus Janis: obviously you're the exception to every rule Jimmy: late but decent save, mate Janis: no point diving 'til you need to Janis: always premature, you Jimmy: not with ankles like yours Jimmy: and I were born late, ALMOST like I knew how grim it were up north Janis: shut up Janis: like I'd play goalie anyway, though they always try it 'cos I'm the tallest Janis: typical you too, awkward Jimmy: not enough 👏👏🌹 for you, I get it Janis: just boring Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you know, you're a lad Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: SUCH a lad, me Janis: just an observation but take it as 👏👏🌹 if you're hard up for it Jimmy: tah Jimmy: not having 💀👑 in my inbox is a real blow to my big head Janis: if her dad ever lets her out again Janis: hit you up to 💔 me hard, I'm sure Jimmy: I'll have the 🥀 ready Janis: if that's a metaphor for your inability to get it up for her, get Jimmy back, Bill, trying to talk here Jimmy: 😏 Janis: can you even imagine Janis: have more fun with a cheese grater, seriously Jimmy: 💰 on Asia's dad being a right good time Janis: yeah, well you 💘 her Janis: got to have got that sparkling wit from somewhere Jimmy: hang on, these reindeer are proper starcrossed Jimmy: behind bars and all sorts Jimmy: 📝 Janis: despite what Mia reckons, don't think her daddy can jail us for this Janis: have to go a bit harder Jimmy: count me in Jimmy: reckon I'm gonna have to go a bit harder to get Ian's feet out from under the table here an' all Janis: 👍 Janis: sooner the better Janis: festivities are doing my head in Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: if Sharon gets namedropped any more than he has done, I'll be 🍽 for her tomorrow Janis: ew Janis: Sharon, you not got a family of your own? Janis: someone we can call, like Jimmy: sounds like she's got kids she'd be bringing Janis: 😬 Janis: that's hell Jimmy: 🤞 he's all 🗨 and ain't gonna risk showing her what his happy family's like Janis: nothing better than a 'best behaviour' christmas Jimmy: I dunno, today's gonna win some 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're loving rudolph and your #ladsladslads time, don't lie Jimmy: finished that, about to go on a massive 🐕🏃 before I smack Ian Jimmy: so festive Janis: I'm pretending I'm 😴 Jimmy: top fake snores, yeah? Janis: that and hiding under the covers 'til they fuck off Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I can piss off if it'll give you away Janis: don't worry Janis: they know I ain't, as my oldest sister rudely came in and tore my blankets off me Janis: still ignore them just the same Janis: sign language you taught me is well helpful Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: still loads of time to get more lessons in before the hol is over Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: least the kid will enjoy your walk Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 😒🚬 and 😎🖍 Jimmy: 🐕💔 'cause you ain't here Janis: 😏 Janis: tell her it's mutual Jimmy: tell her yourself, you ain't mute Jimmy: 🗨💌 Janis: am too Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: should've said you lost your voice last night Jimmy: what could be more #goals or a better alibi for not grassing up 💀👑 Janis: should've had this 🥇💡 last night Janis: idc, she knew it was us, it was obvious, half the point Jimmy: talk to me then Janis: I am Jimmy: 👂? Janis: oh, I get it Janis: you wanna chat so you look 😎 too Janis: yeah, alright Jimmy: the health of your vocal cords is well important to me and my nursing kink Jimmy: nowt else Janis: practice makes perfect Janis: go ahead, least then I can pretend this is a private conversation Jimmy: [sings her a song from the Rudolf film like hey] Janis: [dramatic late 90s slow jam that it is lmao, how could you not lol] Jimmy: [Bobby may be deaf but the other peeps out and about aren't so I'm loling, oh jimothy] Janis: [just like, have you considered going on whatever x factor equivalent is a thing now] Jimmy: [talking about how much their fans would love that and they'd be starcrossed af while he's doing it] Janis: ['dedicate every performance to me, pretend I'm dying in some hospital somewhere, miraculous recovery for the finale'] Jimmy: ['be a top plot twist when you kill me'] Janis: ['press'll have a field day'] Jimmy: ['Ian'll be chuffed to bits' because we know his mum's disappearance got some attention locally hens] Janis: ['lives for attention too, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['you'd be a great match, you're right'] Janis: ['you'll have to introduce me'] Jimmy: ['come round tomorrow, more the merrier, clearly' thank god I'm not actually gonna make you spend it with Ian's gf though] Janis: ['just tell the kid he's got to be a dick, not all cute and friendly, she won't wanna come back'] Jimmy: ['hang on, I'll get him practicing, have him kick this dog or something'] Janis: [noise equivalent of an eyeroll] Jimmy: ['what were that?' as if we don't know] Janis: ['you're a dickhead' but a light tone we're not fuming lol] Jimmy: [say it back but likewise not in a fuming way] Janis: ['any fans out?'] Jimmy: [sending pisstakey pics of people who definitely aren't fans that she won't see til this phone call ends to make her lol 'nowt we could go where there wouldn't be' like we're SO popular which is another pisstake but honestly where's the lie] Janis: ['true, even the sheep rate us'] Jimmy: ['first class representation'll do that' because that sheep costume was great and we all know it] Janis: ['good times' not even lying] Jimmy: ['the lad'll be heartbroken you ain't here an' all if he wants to craft in a bit' because also true] Janis: ['he don't need my help, or yours' lil art hoe but we sad 'cos bored and fuming about xmas lol] Jimmy: [noise equivalent of like mhmm without being that cos he's not one of the gals, when you open your mouth to say I need you though after that but obvs can't and don't] Janis: ['you twirling the cord 'round your finger?' like he is one of those gals] Jimmy: ['might be'] Janis: ['alright, tease' 😏] Jimmy: [a noise like he's so OTT offended like call me a slag or anything else but not that] Janis: ['soz, but if the secretarial role and blank expression fits, babe'] Jimmy: ['I ain't trying to be my dad's type, you want Mia on your other line, babes'] Janis: [a noise like ew, okay, this is weird 'I'll stop'] Jimmy: ['stop what?' like we're playing but really we're like don't stop talking to me ILY] Janis: ['you shouldn't have provided such a compelling narrative, but her in my inbox is enough, if I have to HEAR her attempt at a Southside accent, like you're not from here as well Mia'] Jimmy: [a noise because we sincerely and genuinely hate her so much] Janis: ['caveman works better, who's type is that but mine, obvs'] Jimmy: ['hang on, I'll do a twitter poll'] Janis: ['you're meant to be having a day off' the affection in our voice] Jimmy: ['I don't want one' true but we'll pretend it's fake if we have to] Janis: ['junkie' and a jokey tut] Jimmy: ['that's every dickhead I ain't made a latte for all day'] Janis: ['the shakes are real, Gracie's fucked her steady hand, like'] Jimmy: ['explains the shit make up' harsh sir] Janis: [lols but gasps like we're so SHOOK hunz 'you that wanted the makeover earlier, like'] Jimmy: ['never said I could do any better'] Janis: ['you don't need any, bastard'] Jimmy: ['neither do you, no need to mard at me' again where's the lie] Janis: ['I ain't, but I can see why they obsess over you, don't know whether to punch you or fuck you'] Jimmy: [a lol] Janis: ['choice is made easy with me by how straight they are, especially Mia and Ella' like lofuckingl hen] Jimmy: [a bigger lol] Janis: [silently 😍] Jimmy: ['if you wanna do the full face of silver again, won't mard at you' cos what a look tbh] Janis: [hmms like we're pondering 'how many hickeys do you still have?' adds 'that'll be on show' quieter, because we know and we remembering 'if it's not a lot, a red lip might be a fair shout to show how much we're sinning'] Jimmy: [lost in our thoughts being distracted af for a while there because we already missed the bae but now we MISS her as well 'not as many as you' isn't even true but 1. we're competitive  and 2. we're shamelessly asking for more here like it isn't christmas eve and we aren't starcrossed rn] Janis: ['can't have that...' also distracted, obvs 'he'll be going to sleep well early, yeah? so santa comes sooner' 'cos I do remember going to bed earlier like the sooner you're asleep the sooner he'll be here 'could do something more fun than singing hymns before, maybe'] Jimmy: ['he's got the tracker but if nowt else I'll cause a sugar crash' because kids all do be tracking Santa now on an app like gotta get to bed before he flies over your area lol but jimothy is like you WILL go to bed early Bobert because he already wants to get away 'reckon I could pick you up without causing an actual one though' because not above stealing Ian's car and abandoning it somewhere on christmas eve, it's very deserved] Janis: [makes an ugh noise, like don't even with that bloody tracker lmao 'but I can walk now' 'cos just assuming that's what he means, as per] Jimmy: ['but Ian deserves to more than you' because he does and how funny is that as a visual him trying to find his car, sucks to suck sir 'he might like the middle of nowt, move us there an' all'] imagine the next door neighbour cliche haha] Janis: [catching on like lol, alright 'never mind wifeswap, houseswap it is'] Jimmy: ['pick him a sheep, give it a blonde dye job, name it Sharon, paradise for him, that'] Janis: [just like ewwww] Jimmy: ['alright, I hear you, no farmyard threesomes at my housewarming' don't worry bae, won't fuck a sheep lol] Janis: ['I'm just thinking about how I look like a sheep with a blonde dye job' pouty voice] Jimmy: ['shut up' like NO YOU DON'T 'you look-' remembering that we can't just out ourselves 'fit, mysterious and obvs, most importantly, goals'] Janis: ['you would say that' like sheep shagger lol] Jimmy: ['never even seen a sheep before that nativity bollocks, me' oh manchester never been there but I have heard you are shit] Janis: ['I forgot you ain't moors and dales Northern'] Jimmy: [an OTT how dare you kinda noise like you should remember everything about me] Janis: ['I know, I know, gotta study for the next Q&A'] Jimmy: ['gotta go cry my eyes out'] Janis: ['shh, baby' 😏 'twix will comfort you'] Jimmy: ['does look a bit like a sheep, her'] Janis: ['you are an animal'] Jimmy: [a pisstakey grr or whatever which everyone out and about will enjoy I'm sure] Janis: ['do that again' like you're SO into it but we're obvs loling] Jimmy: [does though because no shame] Janis: ['perks of a deaf brother is he has no idea how embarrassing you are, I get it now'] Jimmy: ['not saying I deafened him cos my sister hates me or owt but'] Janis: [gasps like OMG and does the eastenders duff duffs] Jimmy: [loling again because we're just having a lovely time with the bae] Janis: ['so on brand for you' like you did cripple me 'what are you gonna try tonight, like' like how you gonna injure me again but it just sounds saucy] Jimmy: ['I'll think of something' cos we're thinking all the saucy things now] Janis: ['I believe in you'] Jimmy: ['more than that other dickhead' yeah we do mean santa lol] Janis: ['no need to be jealous, he was a right let down for us all'] Jimmy: ['I ain't, my lap's never been a letdown for you'] Janis: [just a noise so then we're like 'shut up' but soft 'cos we're embarrassed] Jimmy: [telling her to do it again like she did but not in a pisstakey manner at all this time] Janis: ['you should be here, then you could make me make whatever sounds you wanted'] Jimmy: ['in a bit' but with way more feeling than it suggests, like that's a promise honey] Janis: ['good' likewise, practically a sigh of relief at the prospect] Jimmy: [a sigh from him in return but because he wishes it was now] Janis: ['I-' and whatever we were gonna say is not gonna be said '-I've gotta go, I think' tbf the fam are probably being annoying so go moodily sit on your phone] Jimmy: ['you-' likewise we're not finishing that sentence 'should piss off then' but soft because we're not annoyed we're just forlorn] Janis: good chat 💪🏆 Jimmy: [sending her even more hilarious 'fan' pics because we gotta do something to cheer us] Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: when ain't that flasher looking bloke in my DMs, honestly 😂 Jimmy: #same Jimmy: if you were after a threesome, he's the one Janis: we don't need to spice it up Janis: we proved that Jimmy: won't bother asking him if he needs a lift in a bit then Janis: just saying, 💀👑 literally threatened to tell my ma on me Janis: like go ahead, I don't wanna fuck her so Jimmy: your mum might be after a bit of gossip about what a cheating slag 💀👑 is Jimmy: SUCH a bad influence for Gracie, that Janis: sadly not that kind of Sharon Janis: though she already hates her 'cos who don't Jimmy: chuffed for her that she ain't in the running to 💍 Ian Janis: we only PRETEND you're my hot step-brother sometimes Janis: don't ruin the fantasy, guys Jimmy: they've got form for not being seen again, and the orphan at 🎄 bollocks is a bit too cliche even for you, my dear Janis: fine Janis: at least take my sister then Janis: ffs Ian Jimmy: which one? Janis: oldest one Janis: I don't want you to meet her Jimmy: knowing him he could go through 'em all before new year's Janis: ones already dead so it's only 3 Janis: easy Jimmy: there you go then Janis: IOU Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me before new year's and we're even Janis: Promise Jimmy: and have a 💭 where we should leave his car Janis: I know a place Jimmy: I knew you would Janis: I am half criminal Janis: his stereotype is correct Jimmy: me an' all, he just ain't been caught for owt Jimmy: that #whiteprivilege Janis: 'cept the arse slapping Janis: but I ask you, is it SUCH a crime to tell a woman to smile more? Jimmy: slap on the wrist then though, bit poetic Janis: bit kinky Janis: frankly, he was into it Jimmy: 'course Janis: does depend though Janis: do you want his car left alone or do you want it burnt out Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: one you should answer Jimmy: depends if chauffeuring you about is gonna become a regular thing, more like Janis: if I was bothered about that, I'd just date a 17 year old Janis: there's 2 real options, or 3 Jimmy: it's 45 + or nowt for you, Janet, every dickhead knows that Janis: exactly, got those lifts on tap Jimmy: probably shouldn't make my sister that easy prey for Lucas and his mates, the rivalry would be knackering Jimmy: my fake age's already getting a bit old for him 💔 Janis: then there's 2 options Janis: we can put it in a ditch Janis: that might result in a bit more damage, but it might also make him think someone else nicked it? idk Janis: or we can just put it in a field by mine, less damage but it'll be more obvious it were you, if that's what you want Jimmy: I don't reckon he'll pack up and move just 'cause there's dickhead car thieves about Janis: more obvious the better Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: just don't crash on your way over Jimmy: I won't have had chance to get pissed, it's alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🥛 out for 🎅 not Ian's precious 🥃 OBVS Janis: very wholesome Janis: nothing to do with how depleted his stock is Jimmy: 😏 Janis: imagine how wrecked 🎅 would be by the end of the night Jimmy: bit like you last night is what I 💭 Janis: You had the outfit Janis: uncanny, some would say Jimmy: alright, enjoy your 💭💕 Janis: shut up Janis: if I was that pissed, wouldn't even remember it so there Jimmy: it were an unforgettable outfit Jimmy: and you've got loads of 📷 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll go 👀 then Jimmy: go on Janis: don't distract me Jimmy: why not? Janis: because Jimmy: ? Janis: I already want to see you Janis: don't make it worse Jimmy: you won't if you forget about me 👻💔 Janis: that's only the plan for when you've fucked off Janis: or if we end this before then Jimmy: getting Lucas to comfort you in detention, yeah I've heard Janis: just inevitable, that Jimmy: just that #fated Janis: like you said, he strikes when 💔 Janis: #grooming101 Jimmy: it's a 😭 shame the Sharons all are too old for him Janis: biggest difference between him and his bezzie mate Ian, obvs Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: they work around it Janis: so solid Jimmy: OBVS where I get my work ethic from Janis: must be Janis: we'll be nice and not call it an addiction Jimmy: keep you on that list until after 🎅's pissed off Janis: BABE 😤 Janis: I'm ALWAYS nice to you Jimmy: never said you weren't Jimmy: and wouldn't in case you kick off, proper nightmare, you Janis: 😭😭😭 OMG Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: the real #goals Jimmy: 🔪or ✂👅 Janis: ✂ would be satisfying Jimmy: bit rude that we're PRETENDING my 👅 isn't Jimmy: but alright, from 💀👑's SUPER straight POV, I get it Jimmy: closed mouth 💋🐸 Janis: if she's not gonna blow you, you aren't allowed to go down on her Janis: s'like, the rules Jimmy: #daddyperks Janis: only man big enough to trigger her gag reflex Janis: how romantic Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😬 feel sick myself Jimmy: you said you wanted turning off Jimmy: job done Janis: not exactly what I said, bighead Jimmy: shh Janis: or what Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: we'll be back at square 1 Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: 😇 Jimmy: wings did suit you Janis: got some weird looks bringing them back on the bus Jimmy: surprised you didn't 🔥 knowing what you're like Janis: should've Janis: they aren't actually mine but dunno why I let that stop me Jimmy: whose are they? Jimmy: 🤞 for your gay brother tbh Janis: he isn't the camp cliche Janis: thankfully Janis: but my mum is weird so swings and roundabouts Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll be the camp cliche your family is missing Janis: thanks Janis: just what I needed a fake boyfriend for tbh Jimmy: duh Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, don't 🙄 @ me Janis: 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: it's @ the 🌍 Jimmy: nice try on the 😇 for that sec Janis: it's not in my nature Janis: believe it or not Jimmy: that'll why it were such a good costume Janis: Rude Jimmy: it's a compliment, dickhead Jimmy: take it Janis: that I'm a right bitch, yeah, tah Jimmy: that weren't what I said Jimmy: nowt but 😈's getting me out of here Janis: works for you Jimmy: and what, me needing a hand off you does nowt for you all of a sudden? Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: what then? Janis: just reminds me I'm here for the foreseeable Jimmy: I'll shove you in my bag, SO flexible, you, I've heard Janis: and you're so funny Jimmy: you ain't heard that anywhere about Janis: you gutted they're not gossiping about your fit personality Janis: poor baby Jimmy: sounds about right Jimmy: 💔 these dickheads don't know everything about me Jimmy: all I want for 🎄 that Janis: it's great fun Janis: really recommend Jimmy: 👍 10/10 5⭐s Jimmy: you're alright, I've been there, done it Jimmy: bought the 😎 Janis: dunno why you want to go back Jimmy: never said I did Janis: yeah but Janis: don't you Jimmy: for what? Janis: same reason you wanna leave Jimmy: never said that either Janis: everywhere's the same Janis: why does it matter that you piss off Jimmy: it don't matter to me Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't be a douche Jimmy: how am I? Janis: just no need to be condescending Jimmy: I weren't Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you get it, that's not nowt when I'm shit with words Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: should've been more obvious Janis: all you care about is your brother and sister Jimmy: don't @ my manager, tah Janis: 🤐 Janis: coffee IS your passion Jimmy: ☕💕 Janis: top 🥉barista boy Jimmy: *🥇 Janis: I put you on the podium, don't push it Jimmy: I'll push you off yours if you're gonna be a dickhead Janis: *pedestal Janis: we can confirm 🥈 alright Jimmy: steady on 🤓 Jimmy: and yeah, you can give yourself 🥈 often as you like Janis: you won't be invited to 👀 Jimmy: don't need an invite when I've got a long lens, babe Janis: 😡 just FYI Jimmy: 👀📷 Jimmy: FYI my 🐕 might look a bit like you but she's a shit muse Janis: 1. so complimentary today, definitely posting all these animal comparisons to the 'gram 2. never work with 🐕, 👶 or 👶🐕 Jimmy: I could do better but you told me you couldn't hack it Janis: no I never Jimmy: don't make it worse, you said Janis: fine, do Jimmy: [a 🔥🔥 sext that's full of compliments because she asked for it] Janis: okay Janis: you're Jimmy: I wanna see you an' all Janis: I can't stop thinking about you today Jimmy: it'll chuck the outfit back on if that were it Janis: not just that Janis: but it was a bonus Jimmy: what else? Janis: just Janis: you were fun Janis: and hot Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, am I not ALWAYS? Janis: shh, you know what I mean Janis: I want to see you especially hard today Jimmy: I'm just taking the piss, you're alright Jimmy: I get it Janis: you better Janis: or I will have to make sure you feel it Jimmy: I already do feel it but that ain't a no Jimmy: on owt you wanna make me do Janis: that's a 💡💭 Jimmy: go on Janis: I keep thinking Janis: we could make use of the car Janis: 📸 some more evidence for you Jimmy: you're impressive Janis: I selfishly just want to, but if we can make it useful we do, that's the rules, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can call me impressive all you like Jimmy: you can earn it however you like Janis: fuck Janis: why are you the only lad that's interesting Jimmy: why do you want other lads to be interesting? Janis: I don't Janis: I didn't think you would be Jimmy: rude Janis: 'cos you thought I would be Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't Janis: I've got eyes, not saying that Janis: it's Janis: I didn't expect this, obviously Jimmy: fit AND mysterious, that means I were interested Janis: reasons there's gay rumours, I guess Jimmy: I don't care what the dickheads at school think, I'm telling you what I reckoned Janis: I'm glad you picked me Janis: for loads of reasons Jimmy: me an' all Janis: I didn't disappoint then? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: you make it very hard to beg for validation, you know 😏 Jimmy: you make it well easy to beg for all sorts Janis: I wanna hear Janis: I really want that Jimmy: alright but I'm not saying it in front of all your sisters and nans Janis: well that ain't what I want either, oddly enough Jimmy: go to whatever hiding place your mum ain't stashed 🎁🎁 Janis: we always find places to be alone Jimmy: impressive, I said it Janis: I don't disagree Jimmy: good, 'cause it'd only be for the sake of Janis: I'm being nice Janis: I want to be, to you, anyway Jimmy: I don't disagree with that either Jimmy: you're being so Janis: you've earnt it Janis: today would be more shit if you weren't about to talk to so Jimmy: I don't need to go on about how #relatable that is when there's loads more you wanna hear me say but Janis: rude of me when you're not much of a talker Janis: like it when you do though Jimmy: [call her up again this time to talk her ear off in a saucy manner boy] Janis: [into it honey] Jimmy: [we know what #mood you are both very much in rn and where that's heading lol] Janis: [I hope you hear Ian, not in a weird way but fuck you lol] Jimmy: [agreed also not in a weird way] Janis: [start as we mean to go on, and we're fucking you over sir] Jimmy: [not soz because you're literally one of the worst parents we have and that's saying something] Janis: [you do deserve it, even if this doesn't produce the effect you want Jimothy, not soz about that either though] Jimmy: [am very soz you're gonna get hurt but not soz you're staying here with your bae forever] Janis: [yeah that's not nice, we are running awayawayay] Jimmy: [and taking all our faves with us, unlucky Mia] Janis: [we can skip now we've made you pine though?] Jimmy: [yeah we know the vibe is that you're hating life until you can be together and your fams would be keeping you at least a bit busy] Janis: what you wearing if not the costume? Janis: I'm 🤔 Jimmy: what do you want me to? Janis: I'm thinking not church respectable but without being the costumes, you know Janis: festive hoe hoe hoe lite Janis: that's the VIBE babe Jimmy: [sends her options with him doing pisstakey impressions of how the gals pose] Jimmy: ? Janis: YOU LOOK STUNNING, YOU HAVE TO UPLOAD THESE ALL! Janis: but [an option, I'll show you what I'm going with for her and then you can pick whatever you want lol] is good Jimmy: [does upload them all cos no shame] Janis: [so many pisstakey hype comments like 😍😍😍 like we're not lying but we being like the #gals] Jimmy: [just having a lovely time via socials, sucks to suck Mia cos we know you're in the shit hun] Janis: [i'd feel bad if you weren't awful, you need calming down frankly madam] Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: pub, of course Janis: xmas eve pub crawl is tradition Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: that alright? Jimmy: it's what that pisshead 🎅 would want us to do Janis: RIP 'til next year Janis: if you make it Jimmy: you promised to 💀💀💀 me before new year's so if I'm still about that'll be your fault Janis: I'm talking about pisshead 🎅 Janis: he's already 🥴 Jimmy: [sends her a screenshot of this tracker showing wherever he is] Janis: love it Janis: need one for you Janis: #amiriteladiez Jimmy: if it means I don't get lost on the way to yours, crack on Janis: strap a satnav to you Jimmy: need a big strap to go round my head Janis: massive Janis: one of those resistance bands Jimmy: if them athlete rumours weren't bollocks you'll be able to sort that piss easy Janis: can't wait to twang you 'round the face with it Jimmy: 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: on the same page, us, as per Janis: speaking of Janis: want a preview of what I've decided on for 🙌🙏 or you want a surprise? Jimmy: depends Janis: on? Janis: fair warning, it's no angel look, I don't need to be 🌩 down before you can 🔪 Jimmy: I were gonna ask if my 👴💘 were gonna give out but that answers that Janis: soz, not yet Janis: disappointing now Jimmy: nah, hot priest's jaw'll still be on the floor and your shit nan'll still be 💔 Janis: [this glittery 70s moment] Janis: it's festive but it DOES not honour God so yeah Janis: 😳 and 😡 respectively Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: might have to ✎ you for today's 🎨 'cause that's Jimmy: #art Janis: I've even got a discoball to shine in his 👀 when he's trying to read Jimmy: thought of everything, you Janis: well Janis: had to do something to occupy my 🕠 Janis: couldn't keep bothering you ALL day, not very 😇 Jimmy: gonna have to do something to pull my weight Jimmy: not very goals of me to leave this all to you Janis: trust me, just showing up is enough Jimmy: for them, not you Janis: you know what I want Janis: so it is enough for me too Jimmy: alright Janis: you're gonna steal and not crash your dad's car Janis: that's impressive Jimmy: 🍒 for you Jimmy: had no chance to test out my gag reflex so Janis: you know how to drive though Jimmy: yeah Janis: good Janis: not being held responsible for vehicular manslaughter Jimmy: you can leave out the 🤓 words, I ain't letting nowt happen to you Janis: more concerned about you Janis: just don't use me as an alibi, I know nothing about this plan 😶 Jimmy: ah the Sharon defense Jimmy: 👍 Janis: your white privilege, you'll be fine Jimmy: Lucas is gonna be SO into you Janis: yeah, need that throwback Jimmy: he does, to when you were years younger Janis: 🤞 for his christmas wish Jimmy: tell me if it worked and I'm fake dating a 12 year old Jimmy: 🤞 you'd be as obvs as Tom Hanks in that film and I'd know but Janis: 🤞 you wouldn't be as down as the woman in that Jimmy: chuffed to bits, her Jimmy: if I ever seem that excited to see you it's 🔪🪓🔧🔨 Janis: obviously Janis: nothing but a deathwish here Jimmy: 🐑🚗 Janis: stop calling me a sheep dickhead Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: you're repeating it Jimmy: I were just saying you might wanna brace yourself to scrape your mates off my windscreen if them dickheads are owt like you Janis: they're stupid so yeah Janis: farmer's got guns though and that's not how I wanted to go Jimmy: BABE don't call yourself thick OMG Janis: 🙄 Janis: that's the rest of my family Janis: I'm Shaun Jimmy: jumper did suit you Janis: tah Jimmy: can't rate it as high as the wings or silver face but Janis: can accept the 🥉 Jimmy: might have to be chucked off the podium for today's outfit 💔🎻 Janis: but...we matched, babe 😭 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Jimmy: IDK WHAT TO DO Janis: perils of turning too many lewks Jimmy: so rude of you Janis: maybe I'll make it up to you Jimmy: taking it off won't effect the rankings, Jules Janis: are you sure about that 🤔 Jimmy: you've got your own scale, girl Janis: do I Jimmy: yeah Janis: go on then Janis: don't leave me hanging Jimmy: I never said you were having it Janis: rude Jimmy: you're rude, stop trying to make me 😳 dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but it's cute Jimmy: it'll clash with my outfit, duh Janis: red cheeks go well with a red nose Jimmy: piss off, ain't even had a drink yet Janis: plenty of time to remedy that Jimmy: how long's it gonna take me to get to the middle of nowt for you? Janis: not that long in a car Janis: it's only that long on the bus 'cos of all the stops Jimmy: crack on doing your face red for church then 😈 Jimmy: take you ages that will Janis: oi Janis: so rude and so hypocritical Jimmy: you can do mine an' all Jimmy: know how you feel about 🍓👃s like Janis: can do Janis: since you're so against 😳 Jimmy: let a lad be mysterious Janis: you're gonna be Janis: only gracie has heard about you so Jimmy: know she rates me and my ☕🎨 Janis: hardly a 🏆 that Jimmy: I don't want any 🏆 from her, tah Jimmy: weren't like I accidentally picked the wrong twin out 'cause you look SO alike Janis: yeah I'll remember you 💬 that when you try and 💬 otherwise later Jimmy: you gonna smack me in the head til I'm 🧠💀💀💀 in a bit ? FINALLY Janis: you haven't got a brother I'm interested in so nah Janis: soz Jimmy: might do somewhere, don't be too 💔😭🎻 yet Janis: keep you having the odd 💡💭 'til that's #confirmed Jimmy: 👍 Janis: start the family tree, like Jimmy: weren't what I were gonna draw for you but alright Janis: if I have any more pictures of myself, people other than you might catch on to the big head thing Jimmy: I get it, you want a picture of me Jimmy: very subtle Janis: 😏 Jimmy: dunno if I've got a big enough piece of paper tbh Janis: s'what I tell EVERYONE Jimmy: love a Q&A you do Janis: *the fans Jimmy: *you Janis: lies and slander Jimmy: I keep telling you #notallsantas Jimmy: he's a lying pisstaking bastard but ME, nah Janis: 👌👌 Janis: believe in you when I 👀 you Jimmy: I've got the 🔑s, you'll be seeing me in a bit Janis: 🏆 Janis: be waiting Jimmy: Where? Jimmy: I can't pull up and let them all 👀 me Janis: pull up in my neighbours drive instead Janis: I'll be there Janis: [location] Jimmy: be able to spot your ✨ even with my 👴👀 Janis: 'course Janis: try not to blind you with my #shine Jimmy: 🌟 x as high as a northerner can count, you Janis: oh you Janis: 💖 Jimmy: don't be too chuffed that's only about 🌟🌟🌟 Janis: 💔 just as fast Janis: whatever will I do Jimmy: forgive me, obvs Janis: not your fault you're thick Jimmy: and I don't reckon Lucas' priority is improving my literacy, call me dead cynical Janis: wouldn't bet on it, personally Janis: but don't need to bet on this lot dobbing me in so we're 👍 Janis: might even get a cuppa, if I'm lucky Jimmy: if I were gonna call you a slag, it'd be now, with my jealousy 🗨 Janis: 😂 Janis: unlucky, boy Jimmy: 😒😒😒😒😒😒 Janis: shoulda got yourself a travel cup Jimmy: if I'd let the group chat know what we were up to they'd have reminded us Janis: SO helpful Janis: beside, not actually gonna go in Janis: be a bit awkward Jimmy: they've probably got pjs on, I get it Jimmy: too fit and mysterious, you Janis: just don't reckon showing up to your former childhood mates house unannounced is the one Janis: especially dressed like this much of a twat Jimmy: NOW I get it, you're 😍 Jimmy: would be awkward, that Janis: exactly Janis: not like I ain't spoke to 'em in years Jimmy: 😍 and 😳 Jimmy: this were the rom com all along Janis: obviously Janis: my sister did it first so ❌ unoriginal Jimmy: you're welcome for the nudge, mate Janis: SO funny Janis: hurry up and drive, dickhead Jimmy: don't 🥶 my dear Jimmy: there's loads more fun ways for your stubbornness to get you killed Janis: come show me Jimmy: [a picture of whatever shows the speed you're driving for cars of this era like okay we are going as fast as we can] Jimmy: no luck on the 👮🚔 escort, must've pissed off the lads by spending all my time with you Janis: I get it Janis: I miss you too Jimmy: it feels like ages Janis: yeah Janis: just a hectic day init Jimmy: *shit day Janis: that too Jimmy: Oi, you're my ☀ Jimmy: you're supposed to say some bollocks like when this is over we can just Janis: we can do whatever we want Jimmy: what about the 🐕s and ☕s? Janis: apart from that Janis: and school Janis: and the shit we have to do for the fans Janis: called a silverlining, alright, not the whole fucking cloud Jimmy: gonna run out of paper there yourself, all them bulletpoints Janis: not an actual 👼 or other type of miracle worker Jimmy: 😱😱 YOU WHAT? 💔 Janis: never said I was Janis: just a good costume 😈 Jimmy: never acted like you were either, I remember that much Janis: you weren't complaining Jimmy: you do make it hard to 🗨 Janis: you promised you would though Jimmy: I will Jimmy: 🏆💪🥇 me Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: whatever we want, you said Janis: yeah Janis: I did Jimmy: I wanna keep my promises Janis: okay Janis: I want it too Jimmy: alright then Janis: 🕠 Jimmy: if it weren't your night off you could tell it to the fans Jimmy: shot yourself in the good ankle there, Jean Janis: I'll have to patiently wait instead Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: 😲 Janis: watch me Jimmy: on you go Janis: no, on YOU go Janis: I'm staying put Jimmy: press record so I can 👀🍿 you try to wait Jimmy: be a right 😂 Janis: 😣 Janis: not laughing when I was having tea and you weren't Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're struggling already though Janis: Shh, I am not Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: I'm not that easy to break, thank you Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: like you're a 🐴 and I'm some rich lass Janis: another animal comparison Janis: making me miss you less by the second tbh Jimmy: one I'd be fine with 🍆📏✔ so alright, you can be the 💰💰 Janis: 😂 Janis: you might be fine, I'd have serious internal injuries Jimmy: UGH okay, just the tip Jimmy: if that's really not how you wanna go Janis: how Bill really wanted to end Romeo and Juliet but you know Janis: he was already 💀 Jimmy: bloody censorship Janis: what's worse, bestiality or necrophilia? Jimmy: if you wanna keep your job, probably get down the cemetery Janis: you brought it up, horsecock Janis: not taking the blame Jimmy: you asked, there's your answer Janis: FINE Janis: get Bill back on the line Jimmy: he's biased, he wants you to fuck his corpse Janis: does explicitly state otherwise on his tombstone Jimmy: I know what I've heard from his 👻 Janis: awh, he talks about me Jimmy: never shuts up Jimmy: oh hang on, he wants you to fuck MY corpse Jimmy: 👻📞 problems Janis: interesting Janis: how either way, he wants me to fuck you Jimmy: his mind Janis: 🌌🧠 Jimmy: all the 🏆👏🌹 Janis: yeah, had to read some of his shit every year since we were like 10 Janis: we 👏 get 👏 it 👏 bill 👏 Jimmy: brb gotta ™ a 👶📖 called That's Not My Bard before some other dickhead does Janis: 🤑💰💰💰💰🤑 Jimmy: now you're impatiently waiting Jimmy: job done Janis: LOVE when you call me a gold digger Jimmy: you'd be a shit one Jimmy: don't make THAT much in tips Janis: not my goal Jimmy: no shit, you'd be on Mia's daddy if it were Janis: yeah Janis: or our neighbours dad Jimmy: or Ella's judging by her house Janis: exactly Jimmy: I'll @ 'em all when I ain't driving and can write a longer brag Janis: or application to be their sidepiece Janis: 👀 you Jimmy: #bitofrough 😘 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, you know you're my fave job Janis: piss off Jimmy: baby Janis: shh Janis: focus on your driving, asshole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [show up when it's been long enough sir] Janis: [get out of these people's drive tah girl, probably think you hoeing or something] Jimmy: [that isn't a rumour we need, turn the heating up boy she'll be cold after standing about] Janis: [been as stealth as poss. I hope] Jimmy: [also please don't crash the car cos you're 👀ing at her we don't need that either] Janis: ['you wanna abandon it now or later?' like are you gonna drunk drive or what 'cos obviously we're going out] Jimmy: ['where are we starting the pub crawl?' cos obvs don't wanna have to walk for miles and miles] Janis: ['there's enough 'round here to do one' shrug like up to you] Jimmy: [a nod like alright then we'll stick around here] Janis: [put feet on the dash like I'm warming up first though] Jimmy: [puts christmas songs on like I know you wanna hear these cos it's been a whole second since either of us have been forced to] Janis: [Ughs IRL Jimmy: [finds something less festive and annoying] Janis: ['kid go to sleep?'] Jimmy: [another nod but a face that expresses what fun and games it was to get him to] Janis: ['Libi ain't' 'cos she and mcvickers are probably sleeping over] Jimmy: ['he'll be gutted when he finds that out'] Janis: [mimes 💔 'too much sugar and I told her she can catch santa in the act so they're gonna have to try hard to fool her tonight'] Jimmy: [😏 cos we approve] Janis: [shrugs 'if I've gotta go to midnight mass, fuck their night too, yeah'] Jimmy: [a nudge like excuse you I'm going too so you'll have loads of fun because we do remember earlier when she called him fun and hot] Janis: [nudging him back like what? 'I get to ruin your night too 'cos I'm helping with the car' gestures like duh] Jimmy: ['ruin it then' how suggestive sir] Janis: [a kinda half LOOK 'cos obvs wanna but we're mad at you so can't yet] Jimmy: [a look like ? because we know that's not a full LOOK] Janis: [turns back to the xmas tunes like there you go] Jimmy: [turns them off fully because what's wrong please tell us] Janis: ['rude to Mariah' 'cos when is it not that song lol] Jimmy: ['she'll live' cos everyone else is listening to her lol] Janis: ['if she don't get that high note out, she might explode'] Jimmy: [turns it back on so she can have her moment] Janis: [just like there you go] Jimmy: [just looking at her] Janis: [own ? look] Jimmy: ['what?'] Janis: ['what do you mean 'what'?] Jimmy: [a nudge like you know what I mean] Janis: ['what?' again like, soz, not making this easy rn] Jimmy: ['I asked you first' and drawing a ? on her for emphasis] Janis: ['you didn't need to come early if you didn't want to'] Jimmy: ['I know' like obvs I did want to what are you talking about] Janis: ['a job is gonna be easier if you stick to what actually needs to be done'] Jimmy: [a noise like really this is why you're upset but we're saying 'come here'] Janis: [scowling like don't take the piss and shaking our head 'let's just go if we're going'] Jimmy: [repeating it like no seriously come here and be closer to me and look at me] Janis: ['this is stupid' 'cos we can't handle things normally and going to get out like what are you doing] Jimmy: [does get out like fine if you won't come to me I'll come to you and does so we're in her grill with eye contact 'yeah it is'] Janis: ['get out of my face' but not in an aggressive way] Jimmy: ['don't be a dickhead' likewise not in an aggressive way] Janis: ['stop saying I am' like stop acting like it's all me being stupid] Jimmy: [an exasperated noise that we can't help as is as much like I wish I was better at this than it is like an ugh against you gal 'I wanna be here'] Janis: ['clearly not now' which again is far more of, because I've fucked it up than it is a drag but there we go, again trying to walk away] Jimmy: ['don't be telling me what I want' we're not letting you go hen] Janis: ['it wasn't supposed to be another chore, and I don't want it if it is'] Jimmy: ['I've wanted to be here all day' because true, like that's the chore babe, not this] Janis: [just closing our eyes as we can't move away without pushing him rn and we aren't there yet 'you keep making me look stupid' pause 'not you, like you on purpose but this fucking...situation, I keep fucking it up'] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like I clearly upset you by being a dickhead so I'm fucking up too, it's not just you 'it's a headfuck, we've both said' cos it is and you have] Janis: ['you never come off looking as bad as I do' remembering every stupid thing we've ever said or done 'cos that bitch like wow, I look so lame, great but nods 'yeah' 'cos not disagreeing with that bit] Jimmy: ['I'll make a twat of myself now if that'll help' goes to get on the roof on this car like not even taking the piss we genuinely don't want her to feel bad] Janis: [just putting your arms out like don't slip 'cos lord knows it be icy 'I'd rather I just stopped but sure' like what is your plan tbh boy] Jimmy: [stands on this car roof and loudly recounts some scenario before they were paired up for this computer science project and he wanted to talk to her or whatever but made a twat of himself instead idk but you know the vibe and the trope haha like and this was before we were even in this situation so there you go] Janis: [just looking at him for the longest time then gesturing for him to get down like come here] Jimmy: [does obviously without falling to his death] Janis: ['truce?' and putting out you hand again because we can't and aren't outright apologizing] Jimmy: [shaking her hand because yes] Janis: [pulling him in the direction they need to go like let's get inside then] Jimmy: [get to that pub lads it's been a day for you] Janis: [first pint first pub baby] Jimmy: [you'll be downing that cos it's very much needed] Janis: [adjusting his ears when you sit down] Jimmy: [lowkey has probably forgot he has those antlers on by now so it's like oh yeah] Janis: [lil lol 'knew you loved Rudolph' like okay stan] Jimmy: [a lil lol back and we're humming the song like that's a banger] Janis: [rolls her eyes but affectionately] Jimmy: [draws whatever today's doodle is on a beer mat and then chucks it at her because #mood I like to think it's reindeer and 😳 related because duh] Janis: [just looking at it and smiling 'cos love it, do your socials gal] Jimmy: ['meant to be your night off' affectionately too like oh what are you like and pretending we're gonna chuck our phone in our pint glass but we obvs don't] Janis: [shrugs but not in a dismissive way as of earlier just like, may as well 'more #goals than a shit party'] Jimmy: [a noise like yeah that's not hard and draws the JJ love heart on the table like see, so's that] Janis: [handing him your keys like carve it so it's real, dickhead] Jimmy: [does] Janis: [snaps galore hun] Jimmy: [a look like are you gonna come here now] Janis: [likewise, does] Jimmy: [a really good kiss because what a day we've had] Janis: [get into it kids it's deserved] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [obviously we're getting on his lap, 'scuse us pub patrons leave it out of it, I did realise that you're in a jumpsuit so I've really limited how saucy you can be, hohaha what a cockblock, also heaven help you when you're pissed and need all the wees gal] Jimmy: [you gotta gal and he's likewise gotta make a sound because always, it's not for you pub peeps you shh, I had that same thought about the outfit being like oh no she'll be cold having to strip every time she wants to pee, they are so annoying] Janis: [we know it's v mutual, you do need to get a room tbh but at least wait a couple of pubs tah, and they truly are lmao, soz to do you like that but we're making a point with our 'fit here] Jimmy: [we'll let the tension build to an unbearable point and get a few more pints in you as we always do LOL] Janis: ['you're so-' between kisses 'cos always] Jimmy: [writes 'you' on her so he doesn't have to stop kissing to say it and going over and over the word like when he was carving the table because the most emphasis needed] Janis: [the reaction, you're welcome boy] Jimmy: [we know any reaction from her gets as good of a one back from him so you're both welcome] Janis: [these random old men and the show they're getting, soz not soz, just saying 'you' back and forth now] Jimmy: [thank god you're both 1. shameless 2. it's a pub crawl so we don't have to stay here all night 3. you don't have to go back if you don't want to because we're far too #into this] Janis: [we don't care lbr, unless any of y'all are gonna get creepy but don't need to right now] Jimmy: [cockblocked by her outfit and literally nothing else rn] Janis: [not at all frustrating, go get a second drink after a fashion] Jimmy: [doing the MOST so it's not frustrating but that's only more frustrating, oh the struggle] Janis: [clearly getting a stronger drink, like shots, to accompany the pint, that should be the minimum aim of each pub] Jimmy: [love that for you both, get wrecked before church kids] Janis: [oh lawdy shit nan is gonna be fuming, drag you in front of the congregation lolllllllll] Jimmy: [amazing] Janis: [lucky that's what we're going for and she won't for the SHAME of it all but she will be PISSED hence the new years eve dramaaaa] Jimmy: [it's a time for fucking over shitty family members and it all connects honey] Janis: [like these children need more of me and Jesus in their life hello, oh god, anyway, do these shot shot shots] Jimmy: [body shots also cockblocked by the outfit sadly but that's okay these old dudes don't need any more of a show] Janis: [yeah god damn you for wearing clothes for once guys] Jimmy: [when you live together you'll never have to and life will be glorious, hold on lads] Janis: [my boos favourite thing lol] Jimmy: [but for now drink your juice shelby] Janis: ['what did you ask santa for?' 'cos Bobby and Libi had the whole convo] Jimmy: ['to take the dog away in that sack' soz Twix 'you?'] Janis: [shakes her head like oh you 'a date, obviously' and a big sigh like we know how that went] Jimmy: [💔 mime] Janis: ['exactly' like you understand my pain, there's probably so many santa hats in here rn, dramatic shudder like the mems] Jimmy: [does some there there pats even if we have to reach idk how you're sitting now] Janis: ['there's always his elf mates' in a #gals impression 'cos very them idea] Jimmy: [never not gonna do a dramatic shudder of his own at the accuracy of that impression and then checking his phone like have they been summoned] Janis: [assumedly were all at the same party but mia and ella] Jimmy: [while he's on his phone checking in with Cass about the Bobby situation like is he still asleep and how much of a dick is Ian being] Janis: [just chill and check out what everyone else is up to 'cos you can be smug about how lame everything would be in comparison] Jimmy: [I do get why everyone is obsessed with y'all aside from the obvious of how you look cos you do make everything look fun and you always are having it] Janis: [being a teenager is just being really bored a lot of the time 'cos you can't do anything and you don't wanna be with your fam, that's the tea of it, so when you actually find someone you vibe with and have fun with, yeah, a mood] Jimmy: [mhmm, anyway get to pub 2 hens, you can 🚬 on the way cos I doubt they're next door to each other] Janis: [like I imagine there's lots of pubs but not like a street vibe where it's one after the other so do some walking deffo] Jimmy: [I vibe that because there always seems to be out in the country and it's lowkey like how do you all survive but okay] Janis: [drink driving is what people do but shh] Jimmy: [we know y'all will at some point even though you shouldn't] Janis: [remember when and everyone was mad, esp. Tess and she wasn't allowed to stay there lowkey] Jimmy: [we definitely need to bring that back because yes] Janis: [it seems more dramatic now for some reason, probably the Libi of it all?] Jimmy: [I was just about to say, because yeah it's 1100000000% that Libi exists and she's the one member of this fam that Janis fucks with rn] Janis: [bit rude to lowkey keep them apart even though we know it wouldn't be intentional but if you gonna be reckless gal] Jimmy: [we know where Tess be coming from but also where you're coming from JJ] Janis: [will be bringing that back, for sure, but let's not tonight, there's enough drama] Jimmy: [yeah there's loads of cool stuff we've done that we should bring back because I also remember another time she ran away and Jimmy and Cass went on a lil roadtrip to pick her up that was really good too] Janis: [oh I'd forgotten about that but yes, 100%, lots of stuff to consider] Jimmy: [anyways carve the JJ heart on a table in pub 2 boy because we're doing it in every one] Janis: [you simply must, #proof of this night, ty ty, saying this place is trying to do something and getting a Christmassy cocktail, why not mix your drinks lol] Jimmy: [they would and this pub would, I love that, they don't have to be good we know you'll accept the challenge and drink them regardless] Janis: [something spiced and gross down it tbh] Jimmy: [honestly it's probably milky or eggnoggy and NO THANK YOU] Janis: [eww, just like DON'T COME NEAR ME 'cos it was that gross] Jimmy: [but that ensures that he will come after you in a playful manner, probably tickling you or something, don't be sick either of you] Janis: [as if we didn't know, casual playfight of course but don't break anything ty] Jimmy: [this pub should have big jengas because they think they're doing something so you can knock someone's tower over] Janis: [dramaaaa the huns and hispters gonna be fuming at you 2] Jimmy: [but you can play if you want cos we know you're competitive] Janis: [you should, he could get 'injured' boy but not really really just in a funny way 'cos big jenga is lowkey lethal lol] Jimmy: [yeah because then she can have a turn dramatically nursing him for the lols, little do you both know he's gonna get hurt for real #foreshadowing and also they should write inspirational boss bitch huns quotes on the jenga pieces because we know he has a pen] Janis: [role reversal mood, even though that's rude, poor Jimothy, yes, make him sit with his feet up for the moment and get busy with the bants] Jimmy: [get a less disgusting drink and live your best lives for a bit] Janis: [I think you should get kicked out of the next one so yes] Jimmy: [oooooh what a mood] Janis: [as you are literally just 15 so it's not unreasonable to say some pubs and peeps clock it lol] Jimmy: [plus you're never on your best behaviour or subtle in any way lol] Janis: [exactly so you only have to piss off one person who's had it] Jimmy: [so easily done haha] Janis: [and you can exact some revenge fun so yah] Jimmy: [love that for you so much] Janis: [if we're doing 12 pubs like in Hazel's book, plenty of moods to go still] Jimmy: [definitely should and yeah we're talking about the 3rd being the one you get kicked out of so loads left] Jimmy: [you gotta hook up in the toilets of one obviously] Janis: [naturally, you're gonna need to at least mid point lol, maybe Pete could be in one with his mates n gf and you can have a little bro bonding moment that'd be cute] Janis: [karaoke obviously happens in one, probably the last though when we're drunk enough] Jimmy: [OMG yay I love Pete and you we have to start this lifelong bromance somewhere so yes that makes so much sense and I agree that karaoke is a nice way to end it because church will be a v different vibe]] Janis: [some carols are bangers but yes, on the whole haha] Jimmy: [gotta steal something either during this pub crawl or from church or both because that's your thing that you two do] Janis: [#mems so sneaky feelsy love that for you two, hmm is there anything else we can think of that we'd like to make a thing or] Jimmy: [there should be a dog at one of these pubs just chilling because that's also a you two thing] Janis: [so many pics of her with dogs in pubs, seriously lmao, so yeah] Jimmy: [sadly not in that outfit I'm sure] Janis: [we'll see if I can work something] Janis: [one should be truly bumping, like more than the others, so they can lose each other for a hot sec, you should probably both realistically get hit on some] Jimmy: [it is christmas eve it's plausible that at least some of these pubs would be packed] Janis: [it is a ting, and esp. in Ireland not to be stereotypical but it's true] Jimmy: [I hope you're not getting flirted with by any old creepy dudes gal] Janis: [simply the worst, why must they, drunk dudes of any age, god, like you can handle yourself but we're still not thrilled about it obvs, also drunk ladies tbf Jimothy, like gobby shrieky mums put him down] Jimmy: [sends her a picture of him with an ugly coloured lipstick mark on his cheek like sos] Janis: where are you Jimmy: where are you? Janis: I was near the bar, now I'm stuck behind this group of #ladsladslads from the ⚽🏀🏑🎾 shop over the road Janis: who the fuck did that to you? Jimmy: some Sharon, still waiting for my ⚽🏀🏑🎾🤴 Janis: what the fuck Janis: hang on Jimmy: look for a circle of middle aged lasses, that'll be me in the middle Janis: what are they using you like a handbag/pole for Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: hormones? Janis: didn't think the #mommyissues went both way, dirty bitches 🤢 Jimmy: dead giveaway that you've never worked in retail Jimmy: shameless all these Sharons and Karens Janis: dead giveaway they're not having lesbian midlife crises thank fuck Jimmy: ain't 👀 you yet, Judith Janis: I'm working on it, promise Jimmy: give 'em the smack I ain't allowed to Janis: I'm gonna Janis: 🥊 for a 💋 Jimmy: alright, a 💋 off me for every 🥊 sounds fair an' all Janis: yeah? Jimmy: you'll have to keep count for us Janis: [come find your man and rescue him from these thirsty laydeez, we will fight you hens, but deffo giving the ugly lipstick one a slap] Jimmy: [😍 that aren't a pisstake and obvs kissing her like he said he would] Janis: [we're actually so mad at these gals no lie, walk awayayay before it becomes too much of a thing, at least you can because that kiss would bring you back down slightly] Jimmy: [just asking her if there's any lads he needs to fight before they properly leave which you know is more cos he doesn't want anything bad to happen to her than anything else, we know the bae can handle herself] Janis: [shakes her head but this is 'cos she don't want to lose him again and we're just holding him like nope, stay with me] Jimmy: [a snuggle moment like I'm not going anywhere without you because it's not just because of being flirted with that we didn't like being away from her and we all know it] Janis: [just being couple goals showing these flirters right up, gently rubbing this lippy off him like no no] Jimmy: [putting the antlers on her like this is my bae thank you, everyone else back off, and for the shameless excuse to play with her hair always] Janis: [just pulling the nerdiest face 'not quite jail cell peril but-' like who's ride or die now, zoey doey] Jimmy: [a lol because that deer was honestly the most ride or die ever 'not yet' as if he's correcting her with a * and they're gonna be going full bonnie and clyde as the night goes on] Janis: [just pretending we're well offended like oi, how dare you but we're 😏 like oh really #intrigued too] Jimmy: [just writing a list of potential illegal acts on her with our fingertip as if it's a real list like remember these for later please] Janis: [trying to keep up but obviously not getting all that just like ???] Jimmy: [whisper them instead boy because we're still being couple goals here] Janis: [just add your own have a nice saucy back and forth here] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [I'm trying to think of a lowkey way to fuck with these women, like pouring a drink in their unattended handbags? gotta be sneaky guys] Jimmy: [ooh good idea, can't go too hard with it, it'd have to be something like that or like emptying it out and leaving their shit everywhere] Janis: [clearly gonna be too hype when you get to this one and you're not getting in] Jimmy: [not in the mood to be turned away, we're on a mission here] Janis: [raging in this car park like how dare] Jimmy: [🚬 because likewise and also 😳 like how dare you know I am but a child] Janis: [oh boy, just like 'you cold?' 'cos dem cheeks] Jimmy: [takes the antlers back like it's my reindeer vibe] Janis: [fixes her hair like UGH so rude 'probably why they turned us away'] Jimmy: [😒 af like don't blame me thank you] Janis: [nudging him with your foot like come on 'there's other pubs'] Jimmy: ['Direct me then' like let's go gal] Janis: [putting your hand out like stop for a sec though 'don't you wanna do something about it?' and not at all shamelessly going into his pocket whilst maintaining eye contact and getting out the marker and going over to a car and drawing a reindeer face on the windscreen 1. it'll come off easy so no harm truly done but 2. the pub peeps could clock it was them and know they've been got back, gesturing like come do some boy] Jimmy: [he's gonna draw a ghost with a santa hat because don't need any encouragement] Janis: [just do all the cars in this car park without getting caught, obvs gonna finish with a JJ heart 'cos duh] Jimmy: [just doing a little hand squeeze like thanks for that when you take the pen back to put it away because you feel better now] Janis: [shrugs like nbd but doing a little smile 'you wanna appease the fans whilst we're here too?'] Jimmy: [a nod like it's likewise nbd but the eye contact is not at all casual] Janis: [likewise getting on the bonnet of the JJ heart car like that's nothing and just looking at him like, you know what to do, #goals photo moment] Jimmy: [taking loads of pictures of her looking hot af before joining her to go in on any lovebites he thinks needs to look more extra for midnight mass #flimsyexcusesforever] Janis: [don't go in too hard and set the alarm off by which I mean do 'cos it's funny and also a cockblock to run] Jimmy: [interrupt this dry humping sesh before you get even more frustrated than you already are by this outfit] Janis: [mistakes were made lmao] Jimmy: [you'll both live] Janis: [you can hook up in #4 if I've kept count right lol] Jimmy: [soz not soz to that pub for how loud he's gonna be] Janis: [I hope you're not a tiny establishment 'cos lol even on a busy night that'd be heard, oh guys] Jimmy: [if you weren't shameless Jimothy we'd have some real problems] Janis: [we all know you are but you gotta have your drinks as well can't keep getting kicked] Jimmy: [yeah maybe don't hook up til you're about to leave here guys LOL] Janis: [got to order before you use the facilities xoxo] Jimmy: [and you pair are exactly why] Janis: [mhmm honey, maybe there will be a Christmas quiz or tombola or something at one of these pubs you can crash] Jimmy: [so festive but also believably shit, love that] Janis: [win some kind of prize ty ty] Jimmy: [you gotta and you're not having it shit nan cos we're not pleased to meet you hun] Janis: [even though it's probably something a nan would want 'cos isn't it always god bless] Jimmy: [give it to Tess cos she's not that kind of nan so that'll be funny] Janis: [not that you have to endure mass thank god] Jimmy: [challenge of keeping hold of whatever this is for the rest of the night and not losing it] Janis: [truly, probably some kind of bath set or shit biscuit tin] Jimmy: [don't eat the biscuits Jimmy you fat bastard] Janis: [gives you a half-eaten tin of biscuits, Tess fuming] Jimmy: [it's the thought that counts, nan] Janis: [such a 😎 boy lollllllll] Janis: [do you want to skip to having to go to mass?] Jimmy: [we totally can because we've thought of a lot of shit for this pub crawl honestly] Janis: [we have, very much a vibe was had, now you've got to show up to this church and we're just dreading this entire thing, it'll probably be a fair walk and we're just silent] Jimmy: [handholding cos we know she's dreading it and we're a team here] Janis: [god knows Junie isn't gonna be there 'cos the Venus sitch was this year so it's just ruster fam and you and grace so fun] Jimmy: [ugh what an anti-mood this will be, so glad you've had loads of drinks to help you through it guys] Janis: [billie simply not invited even though drew and meena would have to be there #rude oh what a mess, good thing we're dedicated to making a scene] Jimmy: [not that she would go but that's very rude, though it is a relief for us that paralysed sister secret isn't being outed as well since Libi already spilt the Edie tea] Janis: [drew might actually be in prison, but astrid and ro can come through, a joy, I'm sure lmao, we don't wanna get into ANY of this, god shit nan is gonna be so embarrassing over Jimmy 'cos she's a hoe for a boy, any boy lmao] Jimmy: [another reason for shit nan to shade Grace because she's never brought a boy to mass as if Janis isn't there deliberately doing everything wrong, okay bitch] Janis: [literally like where's ya boyfriend, shh shit nan so rude, it's okay she'd shade Meena for not forcing the kids and Tommy to come, as if these kids were raised remotely Christian] Jimmy: [they are hindus babe get on board, shading everyone's outfits as well obvs regardless of how inoffensive they are] Janis: [wearing the biggest most extra hat in the world like pop off, she's like a cartoon she's so ridiculous, probably gonna cry dramatically over her sons not being here for Christmas what a performance] Jimmy: [seriously it's as funny as it is awful] Janis: [we wouldn't blame you for being amused Jimothy, like we would be but not like we're on your side shit nan just like wtf woman] Jimmy: [he'll be too busy trying not to die because of the incense getting him but I'm sure we'll find parts of it amusing to look back on] Janis: [it's apparently gross I've never been to a Catholic ting so can't fully say but I know they waft it about in that swingy thing, you also bless yourself with holy water when you come in the door so there's that] Jimmy: [he will flick holy water at you bae] Janis: [pretending we're melting because we don't care #churchbants] Jimmy: [now is the perfect time for one of your dramatic death scenes, boy, everyone's just horrified] Janis: [just so 😍 as we pick him up off the floor lmao, tryna make sure he's sat nowhere near Rio, even though she's probably trying to be polite and introduce herself and the gang we're like good day] Jimmy: [sit next to Grace jimothy, she won't talk to you excessively and you already know she's embarrassing] Janis: [shit nan gon' be too busy being a busybody so that's something] Jimmy: [will put his head on the bae's shoulder like we do whenever we're bored by a flatwhite function before church has even started as much for the shade as a variation on the feelsy lean like I'm here for you gal] Janis: [at least you can text under your pamphlets 'cos rude and is the goal, as well as the rest, but leaning into this lean too and writing 'soz' on his arm] Jimmy: [and you have signing for shading people now and later because none of y'all would know any, putting a line through where she wrote her sorry like no you don't need to be] Janis: [a look like, it ain't over yet] Jimmy: [a look like I can handle it] Janis: [😏 like challenge accepted] Jimmy: [is sneezing already though probably how adorable] Jimmy: 😈 coming out Jimmy: bit awkward Janis: [loling] Janis: it's grim, ain't it Janis: jesus was a stoner, who knew Jimmy: worse even than ☕ Jimmy: 🤞 jesus won't @ my manager Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna wipe his nose on her jacket cos I vaguely remember a furry one with her lewk] Janis: you don't need MORE competition, like Janis: [yeah, it's probably graces so you can be offended gal like 'scuse me] Jimmy: imagine the tips that dickhead would get Jimmy: SO on brand for them, him Janis: gonna put a help wanted ad in the collection plate for him Jimmy: don't how famous your dad is mate, fill in an application like every fucker else, tah Janis: that's his whole thing, sickening, tbh Jimmy: and OBVS every time he name drops it'll make the lasses frothier than their ☕ but still Jimmy: what's your CV without the miracles? Janis: you should be happy, not jealous Jimmy: can't be a slag for tips if nobody's bothered Jimmy: is he gonna feed me 🥖 and 🐟 or what? Janis: have to come back to find that out Janis: (spoiler alert, yeah, some 🍷 too) Janis: just covering his miraculous birth tonight, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [is gonna carve the JJ love heart into this pew, look away shit nan your heart won't take it] Janis: [we're about it though obvs] Jimmy: You going home after this? Janis: where else? Jimmy: where else do you want to? Jimmy: already nicked one car, can make it 2, easy Janis: oh right Janis: we have to get you home Janis: [mad on the low like this part of the plan escaped us how] Jimmy: can't 📞 Ian for a lift, might do though so he realises his car's gone Jimmy: but you're alright, I'll chuck doll jesus out of his straw bed Janis: we'll work it out Janis: not that an actual lift from any of this lot sounds like a right laugh but Janis: [shrugs like they obvs would] Jimmy: I'll just shout about that I need somewhere to😴 some dickhead'll put me up in a barn Jimmy: nowt more festive than that Janis: if only you were a knocked up teen Jimmy: 💔 fucked over by being a straight white lad YET AGAIN Janis: tell my nan about it and she'd adopt you Janis: it's not that far to yours Janis: got vehicles you wouldn't have to steal, technically Jimmy: not having her round the other 2 unless healing hands actually work Jimmy: happily have her car though Janis: [looks around at the fam like does it look like it works] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we loling not soz to the hot priest] Janis: [shushing him in an even more obvious way as is the point like omg babe] Jimmy: [being like soz and making it even more of a thing as is also the point] Janis: [shit nan already in a mood 'cos there's 2 small children here and we know what that's like whenever you're meant to be quiet, at least she can pretend that's cute] Janis: tomorrow is gonna be so shit Jimmy: yeah Janis: least you can actually join in with the shit Bobby wanted Janis: that'll be alright Jimmy: he'll wanna compare 🎁 with his new best mate, get her 📞 Janis: baby 💔 Janis: you can let him Janis: she'll be gutted about the lack of attention she's getting as it's princesses' first xmas Janis: [side eyes baby venus] Jimmy: what are you and her doing the day after? Jimmy: might be a good shout to get them together Janis: I'll ask but it's usually more of the same, so fuck all Janis: with leftovers Jimmy: sounds about right Janis: they'd love it Jimmy: 💔 there weren't any reindeer in your fields I could nick an' all Jimmy: he's obsessed now Janis: soz about that Janis: we've got some donkeys but that's not very 💖 Janis: if they'd have spiced up the nativity he might be bothered but as it stands Jimmy: I'll do one out of snow when I get back Janis: alright, michaelangelo Jimmy: [nods at the heart he's carved into this pew like you weren't taking the piss then] Janis: you're my favourite artist Janis: SUCH a compliment Jimmy: [giving her OTT 😍 to hide that we're embarrassed by said compliment] Jimmy: all down to the muse, that Janis: I probably will be taking the blame for that so why not the glory too Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you can come back with me for a bit Janis: for drinks and shit Janis: sadly, shit nan does not attend 💔 Janis: but there'll be loads of other fuckers, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't have to Janis: she'll make sure EVERYONE knows Jimmy: I said alright Janis: ALRIGHT Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 without making the shh sound] Janis: [mouthing 'make me' in a way definitely a few people are gonna clock] Jimmy: [A LOOK like I'd rather make you do the opposite] Janis: [you know what hit me like kinda obvious but also hasn't been stated so] Janis: [shit nan is probably HERE for this, aside from when they're pissing about rn, she'd be like oh you dressed like a girl for once and brought a boy you aren't related to, like accidental fail 'cos shit nan has weird priorities l o l] Jimmy: [OG supporter and spreader of those gay rumours like not another one on my watch honey] Janis: [just banging on about how they never bring boys around like yeah this is why but also mind yo business, she's so extra, and she'd just think jimothy was shy and be like aww] Jimmy: [when you antisocial but people think you shy, their future daughter can relate] Janis: [mhmm] Janis: is the incense making you feel 😵? Jimmy: If I say it is can we piss off? Jimmy: [because yes but we don't wanna admit it because we're so tough okay] Janis: is what I was getting at Janis: ['cos we're done with this and leaving early is the only sure-fire way to annoy shit nan at this point plus what a LOOK, so grabbing his hand like he's about to vom like 'SCUSE US WE GOTTA GO RN] Jimmy: hang on then, I'll have another crack at it Jimmy: *SO 😵😵😵 me Jimmy: have a word Jimmy: [and we're out of here, bye but we're not actually saying bye fam] Janis: [actually making him get some fresh air before we start smoking or anything of the sort] Jimmy: [allowing it because it did actually get him] Janis: [cold air sobering in all the ways it's needed right now] Jimmy: [mhmm] Jimmy: [asking her if she's okay by writing it on her with a ? when we could just ask because we're outside now] Janis: [shrugs 'used to it' we talking 'bout the smoke or everything else hen] Jimmy: [offering her a 🚬 or the pen or keys like choose your weapon for killing yourself with] Janis: ['too obvious if her car gets keyed' and takes a 🚬 but makes a big deal out of getting far away from him like you're so sensitive] Jimmy: [throws some snow at her like if you're gonna be rude so will I] Janis: [tipsy snowball fight realness] Jimmy: [gonna do snow angels because where better than outside church RIP to Grace's jacket if she joins in lol] Janis: [obviously we are, excuse us] Jimmy: [get art hoey and make them look like JJ boy] Janis: [that's a mood] Jimmy: [lots of hair for her and sunglasses and grumpy face for you, we know the vibe] Janis: ['thanks, by the way'] Jimmy: [a shrug like don't worry about it] Janis: [having to look at him to look like, seriously, I know they're all extra and that was a lot] Jimmy: [when you were gonna touch her face/move her hair out of it in a romantic way like seriously it's okay but your hands are freezing from doing the snow angel details so it's like ! oh no soz] Janis: [move them down so they're around your waist under this furry coat like warm them up boy but usually that'd be skin to skin contact so you're gutted 'stupid, fucking jumpsuit'] Jimmy: [holding on tight anyway and pulling her closer to you because always but eventually letting go for long enough to put your lighter in her hand  'for in a bit' like you can set this on fire later babe that'll cheer you] Janis: [just looking at it like it's a ring in a box 'this is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me' love joking but double meaning means lowkey not really] Jimmy: [looking at it and getting the key out like can I engrave something onto this would it work because we can always be more romantic] Janis: [I'm dying 'cos the actual gift she got you for xmas is literally very related to this so that's swagger] Jimmy: [cackling that we both had the Shakespearian rose idea and also because my idea for what he gives her that I obvs can't do because I'd never find anything like it is a swag copy of romeo and juliet you know when they have nice covers and he's like doodled inside and crossed lines out to rewrite them and like written a sonnet etc and then like at some bit of the play they don't fuck with probably the beginning when Romeo is a hoe like carving a space out which she could fit said lighter in but obvs he didn't have that specifically in mind he was just like lol a secret hiding place cos remember how easy they found Ella's diary] Janis: [I'm dying that's such a mood, like okay, pretending we aren't even friends or something LOL] Jimmy: [gonna say that there is also some Bobby doodles in there too because yolo we a squad now and if he'd had chance to get Libi to add to it he would've but sadly there was no way] Janis: [simply dying, if only you could spend tomorrow with each other alas gotta entertain the fam literally this one day a year] Jimmy: [I'm so happy you're gonna see each other though even though you don't know yet] Janis: [like the lowkey shock you're gonna have to hide rn so you don't spoil the surprise for him tomorrow, ugh, your minds, our minds] Jimmy: [at least he'd be concentrating on carving this rose with a literal key trying to make sure it doesn't look like a blob so that'll help you gal] Janis: [oscar-worthy performance lol] Jimmy: [and you can just kiss him if all else fails] Janis: [also I think this midnight mass should've been 11-12 so when they hear the finale going on inside they know it's xmas, v cinematic] Jimmy: [yasss I support that, obvs say merry christmas to her boy even though you're forlorn at the prospect of and dreading it] Janis: [practically loling at the prospect 'cos likewise but kissing him back] Jimmy: [have your moment kids before everyone comes out of this church] Janis: [clearly wanna fuck off before any of the fam can see you like byeee] Jimmy: [escape lads] Janis: [or lifts will be offered and lord knows you don't want that, you wanna be alone and cute] Jimmy: [we all know you should go home now and get some sleep before Bobby wakes up ridiculously early but we all know you won't and the reasons why] Janis: [at least it's a very ali/fam in general vibe that there's drinks and party food going on so you can and it doesn't look like what it clearly is] Jimmy: [enjoy your walk back there alone before you have to deal with peeps again] Janis: [at least it doesn't need to be literally everyone, and a fair amount of you have kids you'd need to be home for, too bad Libi is probably asleep even if she tried really hard lol] Jimmy: [she could wake up when she hears everyone if we want that lil mvp in our lives] Janis: [just peeping down the stairs tryna be sneaky then she sees Jimmy and is like MY BFFS ARE HERE 'cos thinks they come as a duo at all times obvs] Jimmy: [she's not wrong about it and he will pick you up and spin you round lil queen cos we stan] Janis: [we love that, directing him to the tree like BUT 👏 HAS 👏 HE 👏 BEEN 👏 and deffo not babe the adults are still getting pissed but god bless you] Jimmy: [but jj should give her something they've picked up over the course of this wild night like there you go bab] Janis: [we're thrilled, also like is your dog asleep, my dog's asleep 'cos Killer cannot come to this cat castle sadly but she's got Star under her arm like hey] Jimmy: [telling her that Twix, Bobby and Snow are all asleep but also telling her she can record a voice memo for them if she wants so they'll get in when they wake up] Janis: [probably screaming MERRY CHRISTMAS such is our excitement then being like I hope you got xyz from his list that she's managed to remember well done bab then being like I'm up SOOOO late little brag like imma catch Santa and see if this one knows signing and has a real beard] Jimmy: [Jimothy is gonna teach you some more signing bab cos lbr the only other person he wants to talk to here is Janis so we're chuffed you're here] Janis: [at least mcvickers are not so strict they're gonna march you back to bed right away, you may as well stay up a bit now you are so you don't wake everyone at the crack of dawn like I did lol] Jimmy: [and like Bobby will do, there's gonna be no point Jimothy going to bed lol] Janis: [honestly, all nighter it is, at least once the meal is over and the drama you can be back together huns don't worry, also lol @ mcvickers being like oh you again 'cos when Libi ran in lmao] Jimmy: [Tess has her eye on you boy but she'd be secretly thrilled to see how good you are with Libi, not in a cringey shit nan way but just] Janis: [you're clearly not a total fuckboy of a teenage lad, we can be lowkey happy about that always lol, meanwhile just securing the good scran for us right now whilst Libi probably talks Jimmy through every dec and they're probably mostly homemade by the kids so like enjoy that] Jimmy: [Poor Grace is probably crying and angsting in her room about whatever shit nan said and did to her so there'll be enough food for you boy] Janis: [honestly poor Grace like we just made it worse for you accidentally, shit nan stirring the pot always] Jimmy: [I like to think Ali is coming through for you because she knows exactly what shit nan is like] Janis: [we aren't the type to be too busy hosting or whatever to not notice when our kids are upset, thankfully] Jimmy: [she's a good mum and like Tess and Janis she always notices things so] Jimmy: [the question we need to ask ourselves is about Billie's whereabouts because if she's there then obvs Jimothy isn't gonna be like gimme the tea but like he will know now] Janis: [she's gonna be about 18 so yes, she's almost definitely there, even if she was out earlier it's like late enough that she'd be back] Jimmy: [literally rolling up with whatever mates she was out with like LOL how was church everyone because we all hate shit nan in this house] Janis: [Janis really going in on how shit she was to everyone and doing an impression which we're clearly just great at tbh, also overplay how scared poor hot priest is] Jimmy: [she'd love it and you know she'd be commenting on Janis' outfit being like bet she was so down for you being dressed like that because she's been shaded herself for being dressed like a boy clearly] Janis: ['surprised she didn't have it off me to borrow' like who does shit nan think she is honestly, kind of iconic but not, also shading Ro 'cos we all love to do that in this household too, especially after the Rio ting even Ali ain't gonna stop you] Jimmy: [Billie do HATE Ro because she loves Astrid and we know she's not doing the best for that bub so obvs asking how she was because bringing her to church when she's autistic af and you can't deal with her anywhere is never gonna be the one tbh] Janis: ['lucky she had her wrapped up tight enough she could hide in her scarf' 'cos the smells, the sounds, the sights, TOO MUCH 'she liked the nativity scene though' hot priest being cool and letting her play in it 'cos lord knows Ro doesn't have the strength to control her literal it's so dangerous] Jimmy: [Billie do be fuming because you know full well that Ro wouldn't let her look after her as if she's incapable when POT KETTLE] Janis: [mhmm, rosaline, get in your own wheelchair you're at death's door you cow, just shrugging like I know and telling her about Meena 'cos always coming for her life as well shit nan like 'you could've at least brought Thomas and his REAL children' like you'll leave the adopted ones at home OKAY HUN] Jimmy: [Billie LIVID because she's not Ali's REAL child but she is though, fuck you shit nan, thank god Jimmy is busy with Libi cos he don't need all this tea in his life yet] Janis: [also the hypocrisy 'cos Drew and Meena aren't your real children either but are when it suits you silly woman, honestly, lowkey then just hoping Billie will get distracted and not wanna be introduced to him lmao, like who's dis, idk, bring him his food and Libi the bits you've sneakily brought her 'cos you're meant to be ready for bed not nomming again] Jimmy: [luckily she'd be drunk-ish and have brought friends so easy to distract because we don't need to do that rn gal, so much has already happened this holiday season] Janis: [seems lowkey shady on both your behalfs like am I not good enough to be intro'd but we're not trying to be like and here's this person and that person and make it too #real] Jimmy: [this party has a chill vibe and she's a chill person she's not gonna pull a Rio and be like MUST INTRODUCE SELF we all know Janis has never brought a lad back before and we're not trying to embarrass her] Janis: [exactly, it's already happened once, almost as a point like YOU CANNOT IGNORE ME JANIS lmao, just telling Libi to go get the kennel they made Snow out of a cereal box or something to show Jimmy so she'll actually leave him be for a hot sec, squeezing his hand like alright?] Jimmy: [just smiling at her because actually has had a nice time with Libi even though it would have made him feel bad for not being at home with Bobby rn and leaving him earlier, like boy it's okay he's a sleep but he always feels guilty regardless] Janis: [#mumguilt because we're raising our brother, so rude, just smiling back like thank god this isn't going as bad 'wanna show off how crafty I am too, obvs' in reference to this kennel like such an #arthoe] Jimmy: [waves a picture of that sheep costume on his phone at her like girl I know] Janis: [😏 and stroking the lighter than is in our hand 'cos obvs taken the jacket off and there's no way there's pockets on that thing lol] Jimmy: [pulling her chair as close to his chair as he can because we just always wanna be closer to her all the time and something falling off her plate when he do so we're keeping that for Star to eat when Libi gets back as if she's a real dog] Janis: [😳 that we can pretend is just from coming inside to the warm] Jimmy: [also taking whatever fell off her plate and she lost off his so she can have it but why give it to her normally when you can feed it to her/put it in her mouth because you're that bitch] Janis: [just LOOKING at him like, there has not been enough alone time today remotely] Jimmy: [obvs LOOKING back but before he can suggest they go get her out of that outfit Libi is back so we gonna look at this kennel and feed Star and that whole thing] Janis: [gotta do some parenting, cockblocked, at least you'll be getting sleepy and made to go back to bed soon enough hun you ain't partying the whole night away] Jimmy: [they can be the ones to take her though cos then they'll be upstairs already and won't have far to go to her room to finally be alone for a bit] Janis: [and you are that bitch, like no no, I want THEM to do it #princesslife sure you have some story that you can be read either about Christmas or dogs] Jimmy: [if not they'll make one up for you, Jimothy is 10000% that bitch] Janis: [Star and Snow going on an epic adventure, love that for them] Jimmy: [I hope you remember it so you can tell it to Bobby tomorrow night or whenever] Janis: [do your best, drunk babes] Jimmy: [you're not totally wasted like you were when partying, you should remember most of this stuff] Jimmy: [especially the joy when that jumpsuit finally comes off for good] Janis: [yeah, no excuse of being blasted this time] Janis: [it's also glittery, so that's scratchy, simply not a vibe apart from the lewk of, you can break it if you want guys] Jimmy: [that's a saucy mood] Janis: [you have form and you're both frustrated af by now] Jimmy: [fun as hooking up in that pub toilet would have been, that would feel like forever ago and it's not the same vibe as when you can take your time and be as extra as you want] Janis: [should also note hi to her house and bedroom this convo, not that we're taking it in but just for reference later] Jimmy: [yeah he's very preoccupied rn and there has been a lot of peeps and stuff going on but you can't not notice Ali's vibe and all the cats and the contrast between that and her bare as hell room will be jarring when you realise] Janis: [pretend we do not see, more important things to do rn lads] Jimmy: [we're very in love tonight and it cannot be overstated how much of a cockblock that outfit was when the bae always be giving you so much skin to work with usually] Janis: [not your usual at all, we're all mad about it and making up for it now, excuse us] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads, we know you will] Janis: [soz to the people upstairs, aka Grace, put your headphones in gal] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali has gone so we can say she has] Janis: [or she will if you two start, don't need that in any of our lives lol] Jimmy: [Grace is having a shit enough night without hearing you two] Janis: [when you know he lowkey has to leave now and you don't want him to] Jimmy: [and he knows and doesn't wanna leave either so it's like let's just keep kissing forever and prolong this and pretend I don't] Janis: ['how hard do you think your dad is gonna flip shit?' when we're lowkey worried but doing the most to sound like we ain't and we're just curious here] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we know exactly but we're not gonna answer honestly and the point is it's supposed to be nbd and we don't care but also then doing a 🤞 and an impression of Bobby's impression of angry Ian because Ian flipping out is what we wanted and we obvs hope it's enough for us to go back up north] Janis: ['his was better' and patting his shoulders like there there 'christmas miracle, I guess' and crosses her fingers back, getting up to find clothes to throw on] Jimmy: ['should've done the sound effects' cos obvs Bobby doesn't on his cos can't hear Ian shouting and is mute, chucking a pillow at her like oi cos we don't want her to get up because that means he has to leave soon and no] Janis: ['have to settle for second for now' and shrugs like oh well, and just looking back like 'scuse me when he throws the pillow] Jimmy: [just picking her up because he hasn't all night and chucking her back on this bed like 1. I won't accept second thank you and 2. come back] Janis: [just like oi and 😒 at him like what you want] Jimmy: [tucking her in like stay put gal] Janis: ['you've got to go' like he was the one getting ready] Jimmy: [dramatically flopping down next to her like I can't possibly I'm so comfortable] Janis: [pushing him like you're gonna pushing him out the bed but obviously don't] Jimmy: [push her back but again not hard] Janis: ['how are you getting back?' and folding our arms] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug] Janis: ['what's wrong?'] Jimmy: [when you're about to say nothing but that's such a lie that it feels pointless so you're just there like 👀 and then 'you said it' because she did when she said he had to go that's the entire issue here] Janis: [just silent for a while 'cos what can either of you do about that 'yeah'] Jimmy: [just getting ready to go because what else can you do boy] Janis: [getting up and stopping him like ! 'don't go' even though you know he's got to right now 'cos you're thinking about if the plan works and they go back to Manchester] Jimmy: [hugging her because you don't want to go and saying as much even though it's muffled and also obvious lol] Janis: ['it'll be more shit again when you do' from inside this hug] Jimmy: [hugging her tighter because true for you too] Janis: [breaking it apart like that's enough now] Jimmy: [dramatically kiss her before getting ready to go for a second time] Janis: [do you want him to walk/or does he want a lift? 'cos obvs she wouldn't make him go with whoever alone so that adds another bit if so] Jimmy: [he'll probably just walk even though it'll take ages because we're in no rush to get back] Jimmy: [unless she's like no get a lift you idiot and then he will because we're a pushover for the bae] Janis: [we'd know that's the vibe and thus wouldn't argue, like we might wanna go with but what is the point 'cos then he'll wanna walk you back and it'll be a farce lmao] Jimmy: [you can chat to him to make sure he's still alive if you want gal but you can't come with or you'll end up staying and the fam will be fuming] Janis: [*angrily comes to pick you up* got to be folorn and separate soz guys it won't be for long] Janis: don't turn into a ⛄ Jimmy: use your head, girl, it'd save me building our kid's reindeer Janis: could Jack Frost your dad Janis: he melts away at the end, yeah? Jimmy: I dunno that one Janis: I think it's depressing so won't recc it for your Christmas day watch Jimmy: sounds like a top pick for us, that Janis: play with your dead dad for the winter then take him up a mountain when he starts to melt, still melts though Jimmy: I googled it, he's what they invented my 😎 emoji for Jimmy: rock star dickhead Janis: and he was batman Janis: you're so outshined Jimmy: 😭💔🎻 Jimmy: piss off and fake marry him if you love him that bad, Jasmine Janis: question, if the harmonica was magic, could he see him every winter from then on Janis: and how many winters before the kid is like, let's just skip that whole charade this year Jimmy: depends how many bollocks sequels they were reckoning on doing when they wrote that bit Jimmy: how old were the kid? by the time he's 12 he'll be telling batdad to piss off Janis: I swear he was already that old Janis: one time deal and we accidentally break that harmonica Jimmy: gutted it ain't that easy to be rid of Ian Jimmy: but promise I'll melt when you're #overthis Jimmy: no need for a fake break up Janis: yeah right Janis: you're no Jack Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: 😭💔🎻 is mutual Jimmy: will be when this is the last you see of me Janis: shut up Jimmy: if that's what you want your last words to me to be Janis: if you were freezing to death/getting murdered/a combo of the two, you wouldn't have the time to be pissing about in the 💬 Jimmy: always have the time for you, baby Jimmy: fine with them being my last words Janis: an empty promise? Jimmy: there's nowt empty about it Janis: it's empty if you're fucking off and dying Janis: the ⏲ running Jimmy: what 'cause 💀💀💀 is gonna separate us? Bill won't be having that Jimmy: 👻💕 Janis: he does write it Jimmy: and his writing were heavily ❌ which you know he's FUMING ABOUT Janis: heavily plagiarized, so I've heard Jimmy: 🤫 he'll haunt you Janis: that's what he wants Jimmy: he might do but you don't need to be nicking my mates Janis: you've got a new one Jimmy: ? Janis: your barista buddy Janis: with the 🎄 foliage Jimmy: piss off, he's not my mate Janis: alright Janis: boyfriend Jimmy: if I had him, I wouldn't need to fake date you Janis: 1. rude 2. we're all gutted he's taken don't take it out on me Jimmy: I don't fuck my co-workers, his missus or how 💔 any dickhead is don't come into it Janis: alright Janis: obviously a pisstake but well impressive how noble you are Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for being a 🏆 cautionary tale Jimmy: if nowt else he's useless for what not to bother doing Jimmy: *useful [watch me write the literal opposite word to what I meant because I'm tired and you usually are useless sir] Janis: I don't think he'd mind a cheeky bum squeeze Jimmy: depends who off of Janis: not your dad, obvs Jimmy: 🤢 obvs dickhead Jimmy: your 🧠 is only on the 1 track at the minute Janis: I'm trying to keep you company dickhead Janis: you wanna talk about how cold and dark it is? Jimmy: why are them your options? Janis: I'm just talking Janis: why do you wanna talk about something specific or? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: what do you mean, it's simple Janis: you've either got something in mind or you ain't Jimmy: what's simpler than saying something if there were owt on my 🧠 Janis: you're known for that Jimmy: and you're known for being funny Janis: if 'piss off' is on your mind, hurry up and get it off the tip of your tongue Jimmy: What so you can put some more words there? You're alright Janis: I haven't said you said shit Jimmy: not THAT thick and you ain't that subtle Janis: ? Jimmy: just call me a mardy prick or owt else you reckon Jimmy: that's where this is going Janis: you're being weird, that's where this is Jimmy: it weren't me who brought up the mates or boyfriends I should have Janis: it was a joke, not going to say that again Janis: and I'm surrounded by both, aren't I? Janis: gonna open myself up for that easy shot Jimmy: no need to beg me to repeat how funny it were Jimmy: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Janis: forget it Janis: just tell me when you've got home Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [literally a hot second later because Jimothy don't wanna leave it like this ever] Jimmy: fuck this, no Jimmy: I don't wanna just tell you when I'm back Janis: stop being a total arsehole then Janis: I know you don't wanna go home right now Jimmy: I'll leave it out Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: weird Janis: why? Jimmy: What do you mean why? You properly turned christmas eve round Jimmy: I'm used to it being shit but not this Jimmy: and it's doing my head in that I can't see you tomorrow Janis: we could Janis: still allowed 🚬 breaks, right? Janis: once the main events 🎁🦃 are out the way Jimmy: bit far to come to nick all my 🚬 Janis: someone has to walk Killer Jimmy: alright Janis: if you want Jimmy: I said Jimmy: it's if you want Janis: I suggested it Jimmy: there you go then Janis: you're so awkward Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you just are Jimmy: if you ain't got any #receipts hun, don't come for me Janis: 😂 Janis: eurgh Jimmy: 💅🤷 Janis: wonder how their xmas eve went Jimmy: 💀👑 probably started opening her 🎁s at midnight Jimmy: still cracking on Jimmy: 💎💰🐴💄👜👠💰👗💎 Janis: I'm SO jealous Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Jimmy: but she can keep the new 🐩 Janis: Christ Janis: I swear to GOD if my sister has got that baby a fucking puppy Jimmy: 💭 of the 🐕🏃💰 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 trainer, you Janis: I wouldn't if they paid double Jimmy: we'll @ Mia's daddy to negotiate the rates Janis: hot Janis: can't wait Jimmy: the ONLY christmas gift worth having, I get it Janis: Obviously Janis: the 💔 would finally off her Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: you can hit him up Janis: not calling dibs Jimmy: He's SO fit and mysterious I dunno which of us is more his type 🤔❗❓ Janis: you're thicker Janis: could be his secretary Jimmy: hang on, are you calling me fat or Asia? Janis: Honey, you're both 😘 Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: I'm tiktok Tammy Janis: You really are Janis: I know who I am, we don't need to say Jimmy: SO complimentary after midnight, you Janis: wow, Gremlin is a new low Janis: you're as rude as ever Jimmy: come on, you can be the cute ginger one Janis: you're the fattest one Jimmy: least you didn't say I were the dickhead lad Janis: not actually seen 'em, tbh Janis: if the shoe fits Jimmy: I'll suggest it for our sleepover with 💀👑 and her gremlins Janis: such a shame we never got that Jimmy: I'll make it happen for you, my dear Janis: gotta desecrate all her beds or what's the point Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 💪🏆 Janis: how long can I get away with lying in tomorrow do you reckon Jimmy: @ Libi with them Q&As Janis: 😩😩 Jimmy: baby Jimmy: [🥺 selfie] Janis: it's rude that you're so fit even in flash lighting Janis: dickhead Jimmy: you could let me have it Jimmy: how fit you are Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't wanna miss you Jimmy: don't, I'm here 👋💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I meant what I said Jimmy: tonight were good Jimmy: I don't want it to be done for ages Janis: alright Jimmy: [sends her a 👍 pic like a nerd] Janis: we'll do something 🥊 day Janis: even if my nan says no to Libi coming, yeah Jimmy: she'll be 💔 but yeah Janis: yeah, 🤞 Jimmy: if Libi knew she'd have a word with 🎅 probably 🥊 him Janis: see if I can convince Buster to put on the beard and let her go for it Jimmy: get your shit nan to grow hers out Janis: 😶 Janis: and you were SUCH a nice boy Jimmy: should've said you wanted me to 🥊 her Jimmy: did owe you after that Sharon 💋 Janis: there'll be other chances Janis: not the only one who attracts people having mid-life crises Jimmy: we have SO MUCH in common Jimmy: I'll 🥊 Lucas for you whenever Janis: 🥰🥰🥰 Jimmy: his is an end of life crisis but Janis: 🔪🔪🔪? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: I were on about him being 👴 Jimmy: but obvs I'll stab him if you want Janis: we can do it together Janis: bit more macbeth but Bill should still be alright with it Jimmy: #datenight Jimmy: that'll be SO romantic Janis: 💋🩸 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: how cold are your fingers? Jimmy: as a come on goes Jimmy: well creative Janis: it would be if you weren't (hopefully) nearly home Jimmy: I ain't the athlete you are, Jenna Janis: Oh, babes Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: gonna have to train you too? Janis: what a #humblebrag Jimmy: depends what treats you've got Janis: what was it Janis: pies, pints and ...? Jimmy: 🥔 DUH Jimmy: but I'll have 🚬 off you an' all once I get another lighter Janis: well that explains it Janis: sensitive subject Jimmy: said you'd be calling me a mardy prick Janis: I was talking about the famine Janis: you've got a lot to learn, boy Jimmy: go on then 🤓 Janis: you want a history lesson, you're the 🤓 Jimmy: if you ain't up to teaching me something, I'll take it back Janis: psh Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: so go on Janis: [a rundown I ain't gonna give lmao] Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: um, give me more 👏🌹 dickhead Janis: that was EFFORT Jimmy: *🥇 Jimmy: alright? Janis: it'll do Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: I said it'd do Janis: 😇 Jimmy: but Jimmy: effort for effort, like Janis: You need to get some sleep Janis: we can talk about effort tomorrow Jimmy: I've got a snow reindeer to build Janis: you're gonna be knackered Jimmy: used to that an' all 👴🎻 Janis: 🚬 break will make it better, promise Jimmy: I miss you Janis: you'll think of me when you make your Rudolph sculpture Jimmy: got any 💡🥇 for how to make his nose glow? Janis: 🤔 Janis: except for making him blush, not really Janis: can't use any 💡 or 🔥 Jimmy: reckon he's gonna be more of a challenge to get 😳 than you Janis: that's funny Janis: not how I 💭 it being Jimmy: bit weird that Jimmy: 'cause it's how it were Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: 🙄 is what Janis: it's better than 😳 Jimmy: 😳 suits you Janis: maybe it suits you too Jimmy: does it? Janis: yeah Janis: a lot Jimmy: [a lil 😳 vid while he's doing this snow reindeer is he just cold, we all know the answer] Jimmy: 🎁 Janis: oh Jimmy: you gonna give me one back or what? Janis: a competition to see who can 😳 the most isn't one I wanted 🥇 for but Janis: [obvs does, obvs cute and dying] Jimmy: you can have it though Janis: rather you came back Janis: but I'll take it Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: should've let you stay longer Janis: SO hard being SUCH a good person Jimmy: all that dickhead 🎅's fault Jimmy: having a list Jimmy: SUCH a tory Janis: massive tory Janis: no prezzies for poor kids Janis: lump of coal to rub it in Jimmy: he's about as subtle as my dad, funny that Jimmy: ALMOST like they might be the same bloke Jimmy: with an identical fetish for the mines Janis: 😱🤢😵 Janis: keep that to yourself before you ruin anyone else's Christmas Janis: explains how he's always working Jimmy: !!!🤯 Jimmy: send tweet to everyone but our kid and Libi Janis: you're good with her Jimmy: ain't much of a job to piss about with her Jimmy: she's alright Janis: you should takeover Gracie's gig instead Janis: swapsies Jimmy: Ian should just pay me but won't hold my breath Jimmy: not with these lungs Janis: suppose he pays you with the roof over your head and that's the excuse for everything 🙄 Janis: know the sort Jimmy: can't forget hot water, food, clothes on my back, be a right pisstake Janis: of course Janis: where is his 🥇 Jimmy: he really did reckon he deserved one for the 🐕 Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 mate Janis: LOVE another mouth to begrudgingly feed Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: how old was your dad when he had you Jimmy: how old's he now? 105?? 🤔 Jimmy: hang on, nah, what's that saying? Only as old as the lass you smack on the arse Janis: 😏 past it then Janis: point remains anyway, people stay stupid Jimmy: northern and thick Jimmy: top combo that Janis: all people are the same Janis: collect a load of 👶👧👦🐶 you think you want 'cos it feels good at the time Jimmy: Dunno if it ever did for him, more in it for the 🎻💔😭 Janis: 💘 of the tragic backstory Jimmy: *life story Jimmy: that goes on and fucking on Janis: its called generational trauma Janis: you'd know if your ma was a wanna-be hippie Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: and my mum Janis: it's just a word to throw about Janis: if she knows how to heal it she's keeping that one to herself Jimmy: that'll work, they both love throwing words about Jimmy: don't matter if they know what they mean or not Janis: there you go Janis: @ each other Janis: spark that back up Jimmy: there's that 🎄 miracle my sister has her 🤞 for Jimmy: she'll be chuffed to bits Janis: 😬 Janis: shit Jimmy: been ages but if any dickhead can sort it 🎅 Janis: 🚗❓😡🛫🛬🏡🙏 Jimmy: sounds about right that Ian would 💭 my mum had popped back up just to nick his car Janis: I mean, fairplay if she did Janis: I just meant if your plan works though you'll be 🥇 brother x2 again Jimmy: dunno about that Janis: maybe for like, a day, anyway Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 Jimmy: be me Janis: awh Janis: cute Jimmy: soz I meant Jimmy: *🌧😒 Janis: easy mistake to make Janis: still cute Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: if I  keep 😳 all the snow'll melt Janis: 👋 shit dad Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 full orchestra Janis: so emotional Jimmy: 💰 on that soundtrack being top quality Jimmy: have a look Janis: there's 3 hanson songs Janis: none of which being mmbop Jimmy: what the fuck Janis: 1998 was a time, apparently Jimmy: 💔 I ain't a time travelling 👻 or ⛄ Janis: "It's possible for the Jim Henson folks and Industrial Light and Magic to put their heads together and come up with the most repulsive single creature in the history of special effects, and I am not forgetting the Chucky doll or the desert intestine from Star Wars." Janis: when your dad gets dragged Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I guess it's better than when they redid the whole Jack Frost vibe later and they made him look like one of your coworkers Jimmy: if he pops a CV in I'll be out the door Janis: yeah you will Janis: 💔 for the fans Jimmy: OI Jimmy: you're meant to reassure me, dickhead Janis: Babe Janis: you're the best barista they've ever had Janis: better? Jimmy: late than never Janis: Baby boy Jimmy: you weren't taking the piss when you had shit that were actually edible offered to you Jimmy: all the 🏆 for me then Janis: I'm not taking the piss Jimmy: bollocks Janis: out of the fact girls lose their shit over you 'cos you can make a coffee, maybe Jimmy: 😎🚬 is more of a skill, we both get it Janis: I don't know if I'd say it's more impressive but more interesting, sure Jimmy: but if you want another go at ☕🎨 I'll ❌ this bit out Janis: if they paid me, happy to Jimmy: barely pay me, mate Jimmy: that'll be why I spend loads of my shifts 🗨 to you Janis: just so 🥱 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: 🥅 nice save Jimmy: ain't a 👏👏🌹 chaser like you, girl Jimmy: I could hack being a goalie for a bit Jimmy: just that good with my hands any road Janis: 😂 Janis: you 🤞 to prove it and I'll come see you some more Janis: teach me what you like Jimmy: be thicker than I look to refuse an offer like that Janis: right answer Jimmy: I can really see you tomorrow, yeah? Jimmy: that's not just Janis: yeah Janis: can't stop me going out for fresh air, like Jimmy: 🤞? Janis: Promise Janis: I don't give a fuck Janis: I wanna see you Jimmy: that feels like the right answer to me Janis: I've got to see and pretend to listen to loads of people I don't wanna see Janis: only fair Jimmy: drive over if you want, there'll be somewhere else we can leave the 🚗 that'll still do his head in Janis: might take you up on that Jimmy: bring the dog like you said if you want an' all, that'll piss him off Janis: ha Janis: he'll proper think I've got no home to go to then Janis: 🥺🎻 Jimmy: DUH the obvs answer is you drive back home after, why didn't I think that though? Jimmy: don't need anywhere else to leave it Janis: it's okay Janis: you were so buzzing Janis: no 🩸 in your 🧠 Jimmy: just don't want you to leave Jimmy: near the same thing Janis: 😎 Jimmy: [sending her pics of this finished reindeer moment] Janis: that's not the abomination I reckoned it'd be Janis: he'll be well 😁 again Jimmy: how hard do you wanna backhand that compliment? Janis: who's good at making snowmen, never mind snowreindeer Janis: only that blindly 🙌👏🌹 of you for the fans Jimmy: me, dickhead Janis: not gonna say soz for my caution Jimmy: that snow angel ended up so much like you 💀👑 'll be doing shit to it as we 🗨 Janis: anything to cool her down Janis: 🥵 to 🥶 Jimmy: clinging to life to finally dead, it's alright, you can say it Janis: 💁 what happens happens, babe Janis: how are we to know/pray Jimmy: what I'm willing to make happen for you, I don't need jesus about for 👀🍿 unless he wants to help clean up or hide a bit of evidence, as a mate Janis: 1. that's actually hot so fuck you 2. you are practically saved now, you're welcome Jimmy: mixed messages there Jimmy: I get it, you need a minute with the visuals Janis: I said what I said Jimmy: 😏 Janis: go inside now? Janis: get warm Jimmy: 🛏 or 🚿? Janis: what was it you said about visuals Jimmy: take a minute with them Jimmy: to decide Janis: you're not gonna get enough anyway Janis: may as well 🚿 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: nothing else impacted my decision, at all Jimmy: dunno what would Janis: it's a mystery Jimmy: [do get in the shower with your waterproof phone of the future] Janis: [what a time to be alive] Jimmy: [honestly, what more could you need when you're young, in love and extra] Janis: I don't wanna go sleep Jimmy: why? Janis: 🎅🎁🎄 Janis: excitement is too real Jimmy: now the answer that ain't bollocks Janis: it's stupid Jimmy: I doubt that Janis: I just don't wanna stop chatting to you Jimmy: so stay with me Janis: okay Jimmy: it is Jimmy: you don't have to feel stupid Janis: 🤏 Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: that weren't an animal comparison I made Jimmy: bit dangerous Janis: go ahead and be racist if the mood takes Janis: I don't care and I TOTALLY WON'T use the receipts later when you piss me off Jimmy: not my dad, you're alright Janis: thank GOD you reminded me Jimmy: easy mistake, that Janis: hardly Janis: gonna ask your brother to do an impression of you next, nothing like it, guaranteed Jimmy: 😒 twinning's all it takes Jimmy: look enough like him, nowt I can do about it Janis: yeah Janis: I get it Jimmy: you don't look like Gracie Jimmy: she wishes Janis: plenty of other unfavourable options of people I do Jimmy: I ain't got that list Janis: my nan, mostly Janis: non shit Jimmy: fit nan and shit nan Jimmy: easy to remember Janis: shut up Jimmy: what? Janis: that's gross Jimmy: I'm not gonna ask her on a fake date Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: for my nan? Janis: yeah, not gonna pass it on over the turkey but tah Jimmy: she's fit 'cause she looks like you Jimmy: mysterious she can have Janis: 👌 quit whilst you're ahead Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: you're bad at cards, got it Jimmy: spread it about, we'll have some piss easy wins Janis: 😏 alright Janis: bit of an obvious trick but they are all exceptionally stupid so Jimmy: not the worst plan we've come up and had to pull off Janis: suppose not Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🔪🖐🩸 Jimmy: open a vein so I know it's real, babe Janis: go ahead and take your pick Jimmy: you're the 🧛 I don't play favourites Jimmy: they're all 🥇 Janis: arteries explode out and veins slowly bleed out, I think Janis: you've already made your intentions clear Jimmy: have I? Janis: slow and painful death Jimmy: for me, not you Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: considerate Jimmy: sound more shocked, dickhead Janis: maybe I told you what I wanted already Jimmy: and what, you're never gonna tell me again? Janis: depends Jimmy: on? Janis: if you wanna hear it Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: you're saved Janis: don't wanna drag you down Jimmy: what if I want you to? Janis: careful what you wish for Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: If I'm wishing for it that means I want it Jimmy: I don't have wishes to waste on bollocks Janis: three's standard Janis: but won't do the whole, fucking you over 'cos you weren't specific enough/need to learn a valuable lesson bullshit Jimmy: leaves me one Janis: go on then Jimmy: tell me then Janis: I want slow and painful too Janis: I want you to kill me and drag me down Jimmy: I promise Janis: Good Jimmy: starting tomorrow, Jules Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: but it's today Jimmy: well past midnight by now Janis: okay Cinderella Janis: you didn't turn back into a pumpkin Jimmy: or melt under the 🚿 Janis: thank goodness Janis: don't want to have to keep a constant 👀 on you Jimmy: UGH fine, I won't give you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: and definitely DON'T video call me next time you need a 🚿 Janis: would just hate that Jimmy: fuming does suit you Janis: you are very frustrating Jimmy: without trying an' all Jimmy: 💭 if I were Janis: I can't bear to think about that Janis: to be honest Janis: I'll just Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: you can just Janis: can I Jimmy: yeah Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: *today Janis: right Janis: not gonna tell you I'm counting the minutes or anything but the fans would 💖 Jimmy: if I could count Janis: 🖕✌🤟 baby Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'll show you how to do it backwards and everything Janis: but I'll let you be working with less alcohol more sleep Janis: I'm nothing if not fair Jimmy: and just 🤏 rude Janis: you like it Jimmy: never said I didn't Janis: just saying you do Jimmy: til I do, you can Jimmy: I'll need better working conditions to 🖋 the FULL list Janis: you'll have to at least tell me your conditions if you want them to be met Jimmy: you'll know when you've met them Janis: 😒 Jimmy: that won't be my face, for a start Janis: 🤞😁🤞 Janis: I remember Jimmy: bit far down the other end of the scale but alright Janis: 😊? Jimmy: have to get the red cheeks in, I 👀 you Janis: there's got to be something in it for me, like Janis: not a 😇 Jimmy: and you reckon that'll be all there is in it for you? Janis: they're your conditions Jimmy: but what kind of fake boyfriend would I be? Jimmy: not 🥇 Janis: assumed your ideal wouldn't have much fan pandering in it Jimmy: LOVE the fans, me Janis: my mistake Jimmy: another easy one, obvs Janis: it's the 😒 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for his share of that blame Janis: didn't say I didn't like it Jimmy: you never said you did either Janis: yeah I have Janis: loads of times Jimmy: so say it again Janis: well fit and mysterious Janis: duh Jimmy: 😊 Janis: mm Janis: that's weird Jimmy: can't win with you Janis: I just Janis: what's that line Janis: like you, just as your are? Janis: go with that Jimmy: festive Jimmy: I bet his jumper were itchy Janis: just jealous of the rudolph one Jimmy: nowt else to be after from that posh lad Janis: his hair is nice Jimmy: I dunno I were looking further down Janis: 😂 Janis: his beautiful eyes, sure Jimmy: if you need to go have a bit of alone time with them visuals, crack on Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: if that's the technique you wanna use, nowt to do with me but Janis: shut up Janis: you wanna give me tips now Jimmy: I'd have to show you if I'm 🤐 Janis: you're always bragging about being good with your hands Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Janis: sure Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: if you're gonna slag me off in sign, way ahead of you Jimmy: depends on how shit of a review you give me for what I am gonna do Janis: seems unlikely Janis: track record, and how nice I am Jimmy: not doubting myself, Judith Jimmy: way ahead of you on how unlikely it is Janis: not sorry for wanting proof Jimmy: you won't be sorry when you get it Janis: come on Janis: stop teasing me Jimmy: I'll have a job to touch you from here Janis: 😣 Jimmy: I know Janis: 😠 on the scale, actually Jimmy: 😡 'cause it's festive and you reckon the colour suits me Janis: yes x2 Janis: on brand Jimmy: 💡🥇 hang on Jimmy: [a saucy lil video of how good he is with his hands on himself because the best we can do rn as far as proof goes] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: 🎁 Janis: you're just going to do that Janis: and act like you haven't killed me Jimmy: I said I would Janis: you weren't messing about Jimmy: slow and painful as I could manage Janis: I can see that Janis: Jesus, boy Jimmy: can't have you calling me a tease Janis: challenge accepted, yeah? Jimmy: always Janis: 🥇 is right Jimmy: for you, yeah Janis: it is for me Jimmy: Where are you on the scale now? Janis: If I could tell you how 🤯 I am, it wouldn't convey it Janis: speechless or 🥴 Jimmy: not gonna be a prick and call it a 🎄 miracle Janis: if I show you back you can call it that Janis: nice list still possible Jimmy: dunno if you can keep saving me and say you wanna drag me down but alright Janis: I want dragging you down to be fun, on both accounts Janis: what fun's a shit Christmas with no presents? Jimmy: you've given me loads of 🎁s Janis: if you don't wanna see me Jimmy: I'd never say that Janis: so say you wanna Jimmy: [voice memo just because] Janis: [some risque photos but not doing a video because we don't trust and the issues there sorry] Jimmy: [that's so real] Jimmy: speechless is right Janis: I just wanna show you I miss you too Jimmy: you did Jimmy: we're on the same page, no pisstake for once Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: okay, some idea Janis: it's not 🥇 though Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I give the 🏆s out Janis: yours was better though Janis: but I'm not mad to take 🥈if it means I get to feel that Jimmy: you weren't expecting it, nowt else Janis: weren't expecting you is a good way to put it Jimmy: I get that Janis: I dunno Janis: I'm drunk and horny, that's all Jimmy: is it? Janis: I don't know Jimmy: alright Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🥛🍪 Janis: he's been and gone, babe Janis: I checked Jimmy: he's in your 💘 forever, girl Janis: 2000 miles, yeah Jimmy: don't be get getting 🎄🎵 in my head Janis: I need to get you out of mine Jimmy: rude Janis: not like that Janis: it's your fault Jimmy: there's loads of room in your head for me Janis: ha ha Jimmy: let me stay Janis: how could I refuse Jimmy: Bill'd have suggestions Janis: he's not speaking to me right now Jimmy: it'd only be some bollocks with a fan Jimmy: like we don't have other ways to send secret 💌 Jimmy: what did you do to piss him off? Janis: like if I smack you 'round the head with it I might be a bit pissed off? 👍 Janis: his mind, honestly Janis: not being very 💘 right now Janis: letting you leave so easily, not very starcrossed of me Jimmy: I've got no complaints, he can leave his out Jimmy: before you start, I know that don't sound like me Jimmy: but if he's gonna be mardy, might as well break character and really do his head in Janis: he's got NOTES about the lack of ⛓⛓ Janis: but when I told him he was trying to compete with Dickens he went full 😒😒 instead of you 😱 Janis: meant to say FUCK OUR FAMILIES and be all about each other only, not, fair play, reckon you should go back before the kids wake up 🙄🤷 Jimmy: he can't say we didn't take that stage direction Jimmy: fuck Ian is written in every margin Janis: exactly Janis: he wants me to kick the 🐶 in the face or what? Jimmy: I think that were me Janis: doing the kicking or getting kicked Jimmy: obvs kicking the 🐕 Jimmy: but a 🥊 would be festive if you've got your 💘 set on it Janis: he's probably into some light ⚽🏀 torture Janis: I 👀 it in your future, Romeo Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: how far in the future have you had a look? Janis: 🔮 NYE Jimmy: night of my 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I get it Janis: Obvs I cannot IMAGINE life after that Jimmy: duh Jimmy: what kind of life would it be Janis: NOT the one Bill wrote, that's for sure Jimmy: he ain't thinking about how fit you'd look in all that black Jimmy: I'll have a word Janis: I've not got an ugly cry face either Janis: just put that out there Jimmy: it's all coming up 🌹s Jimmy: he'll get his head round the rewrite and be chuffed to bits Janis: 👎 Jimmy: ? Janis: I wanted slow and painful Janis: not to fake 😭 forever Jimmy: set the date then, baby Janis: have to see where you are after your dad finds out Janis: doubt you'll be going anywhere before NYE Jimmy: he'll have his own murder to do Jimmy: can't have Sharon pining forever AND have all the 💔😭🎻 for himself Janis: ooh fun Janis: odds on he'll strangle her though, predictable Jimmy: Dunno if he's got the stamina for it Jimmy: might have to just smack her with something Jimmy: gutted he don't have any 🏆 Janis: 😬 #cantrelate 💘🙌💪 Jimmy: can't escape the comparisons, me Jimmy: ⛏ or 🔦 from his mining days'll do 🤞 Janis: get caught for keeping the murder weapon Janis: just can't let go Janis: I like it for him Jimmy: coal dust at the scene of the crime and her last meal were 🥧🥔🍺 Janis: 😂 Janis: was nice of him to make sure she was fed Janis: blame, where??? Janis: 🥇 bloke Jimmy: she'll have made it for him but if she don't crack on to them leftovers how'll she have enough stamina herself to do the washing up Jimmy: he's learnt from past mistakes there Janis: don't smack her 'til the chores are done? Janis: keep that in mind Janis: thought it was his motivational tactic Jimmy: and get the next one to clean up the 🩸🦷 so you can't hang about smacking that Sharon's arse an' all Janis: got a system Janis: almost have to respect it Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: best 🎄🎁 going Janis: I'll pop out a box tomorrow if he likes Jimmy: you got one massive enough? Janis: oi Janis: fat shame me on christmas Jimmy: 🗨 about nowt but your head Jimmy: but 💭 about it, doing your 🦒 neck in would be AGONY Janis: OFFER 👏 ME 👏 A 👏 MASSAGE 👏 OMG Janis: -100 #goals points Jimmy: give me chance, dickhead Jimmy: you ain't even out the box yet Janis: not in it Janis: let me eat my dinner and unwrap my presents first Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: don't be taking #goals points off me Janis: well you'll have to think of your own idea now Janis: can't copy me Jimmy: easy Janis: we'll see Jimmy: making it sound like I ain't had loads of 💡🥇 already is a bit of a pisstake but alright Janis: not that easy Janis: I've already been well too nice to you Jimmy: ❌ out the bit where you're chatting bollocks and we're left with the right amount of nice Janis: 🎅 is the ONLY man who makes those kind of calls Janis: how dare you Jimmy: ain't stopping him 📞 in Janis: alright if you reckon he'll side with you Jimmy: I'll talk him round if he's pissing about on yours Janis: Good luck he doesn't do sign Janis: and I don't think he could understand your accent either Jimmy: better at not talking, me Janis: hoe Jimmy: #seducesanta probably already trending Janis: unoriginal but popular Janis: basically this plan in a nutshell Jimmy: I'm nowt if not on brand Jimmy: and #suckingoffsantaclaus is a bit Jimmy: it's just not mysterious enough Janis: SO weird no 😎 Jimmy: what else is he 📞 at this time of the morning for? Jimmy: bloody tease Janis: he's just finished work and he wants to debrief Janis: it's like you don't even care Janis: one-track mind 🙄 Jimmy: UGH fine #spooningsanta Janis: 🥉 you tried Jimmy: he'll rate it Jimmy: you're too jealous to give me any credit is all Janis: oh please Jimmy: stop begging, I can't cuddle you from there Jimmy: you'll have to get a lift with 🎅 Janis: 😑 twat Jimmy: soz I'm not a 🦧 Janis: that's my type now? Jimmy: I dunno what other animals have long arms Jimmy: you tell me Jimmy: 🐍 spooning just sounds like I'm gonna suffocate you Janis: 🐙 Janis: and 😍😍🤤 Jimmy: SHIT that'd have been a top one Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: 🏆 Janis: what do I win? Jimmy: I'm too fuming to 💭 Janis: rude Jimmy: blame that 🐙 dickhead Jimmy: making me look even thicker than my face does Janis: soz you can't compete with me or tentacles Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: who's 🦑 an' all? Janis: 😬 Janis: at least it's not 🦐 boy Janis: remember him Jimmy: how could I forget? Jimmy: what a #lad Janis: yeah Janis: no arms at all there though Janis: ❌❌❌ Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you can have him Janis: he'll be so 😁 Jimmy: and what, you're saying grateful is my type? Janis: as that would be a fake self-drag Janis: I would NEVER Jimmy: 🦐'll have to live without me Jimmy: or 💀💀💀 if we're starting that trend Janis: he might be that gutted when you're gone Janis: if I have the misfortune of having to stick around here and be a 👻 Janis: I'll let you know, somehow Jimmy: 🤞 him and all the other dickheads who do your head in Jimmy: 'cause you won't be a 👻 unless you have unfinished bollocks Jimmy: and I reckon that's gotta be a bit more than 🐕🏃 so you'll be alright Janis: tah for your expert opinion Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: rot in peace, my dear 💕 Janis: with so little going on, how could I not Jimmy: it's a done deal Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🥀 Janis: think one of the kids has woken up Janis: brb Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [obviously we're dipping] Jimmy: [you wanna post this then gal it's probably long af] Janis: [we can start actually xmas day in a different convo if you wanna yeah]

[scaredofthebasement-blog]

When Love Walks In - Chpt 8

Reblog to get this great love story out there.  It’s just lifting off...Enjoy the ride!  

Chpt 8 - Auston Gets Dr Quinn Alone

2869 Words

“Hey Auston, what’s going on?”  Dr Quinn approaches his bed and sits beside him in the chair.  

He just sits, staring off, thinking of what he can say.

“You can talk to me about anything, Auston.  I will try to help you if you tell me your concerns.”

He grabs his whiteboard and writes, “I want this all to be over, to get out of here and back to my life the way I knew it.”

“Yes.  I get that Auston.  Honestly, I understand.  But it should only be a couple more days till you will be able to breathe on your own if you continue with your ‘Rock Star’ ways.”  She smirks at him and tilts her head to get him to look at her.  She draws a smile and blush out of him.  He feels like he’s back in high school again with a school boy crush.  

Dr Quinn continues, “Then we will be able to get you out of Intensive Care, get you out of the hospital and start focusing on your voice and your physical fitness.  Your breathing capacity will have to wait till you have completely healed and you’ve had an opportunity to get your conditioning back.  So yes, as I’m sure you’re figuring out, this is going to be a game of patience.  But I’m sure you’ve had to exercise patience in getting yourself into the NHL.  I’m sure you can remember doing that?”

Auston nods yes.

“Did it work out in the end?” She asks, knowing the answer.

“Till a puck smashed my throat”, he writes with a sarcastic smirk.

“Ha!  Yes.  Sadly, that’s true.  But I bet you went through the long game of huge challenges and struggles that you had to rise above to get to the point…,” she pauses looking for the right words.  “…Where you got to take that puck to your throat”, Dr Quinn grins as she teases the last part, looking for a reaction.

Auston can’t help but chuckle and smile at what she just said.  She gets me.  She’s cool, he thinks.

“From what I have heard, it looks like you handled all of that preparation for the NHL really well.”

Curious, Auston needs to know, so he writes, “What did you hear?”  

“Just that you made it to the NHL, against some pretty big odds, coming from the sunbelt, I understand”, Dr Quinn answers.

Oh, so that’s all she knows, he thinks.

“Do you like the Leafs? Do you watch games?”  He writes, trying to find out what she might know about him.

“To be completely honest, Auston I have not been following the Leafs.  I’ve been preoccupied with my career for many years.  But I do know they’re a hockey team AND I have nothing against them if that’s what you’re getting at”, she jokes.

Auston picks up his marker and writes “LOL!” and smiles at Dr Quinn’s joke.

Dr Quinn laughs.

Auston writes, “Oh, so glad you have nothing against us.  LMAO! I can gift you tickets to a game when I get back playing?  It’s the least I could do.”

“That sounds like something I wouldn’t hate.”  Dr Quinn smiles.

“Oh, wow!  You sound so into it.  You do know that people actually pay big bucks to go to Leafs’ games, right?”  He shows her his board, shaking his head and smiling.

“Yes, of course.  I would like to watch you play sometime, Auston. I’ve heard good things”,  Dr Quinn attempts to reassure him.

He can’t help himself. He shakes his head, grinning and writes, “Good things!  Ha! OMG!  You’re so funny!  So you didn’t know who I was when you were operating on me?”

Dr Quinn is starting to think this guy is a bit full of himself.  She makes a note to herself that she should have a look into what he is all about.  She knows he is in the news, that there are tons of people concerned about him and there is a shrine outside the hospital, but she also knows that hockey and all professional sports are a huge deal in Toronto, so any good player would get that kind of attention.

I should Google him when I get a chance, she thinks.

Dr Quinn tells him, “No. The attending staff that night just informed me that you were an NHL hockey player injured in a playoff game. Then after surgery, they told me your name, but I had only heard it in the context that the Leafs were lucky to get you.”

“How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”  He writes.

“Ha!  Auston!  You are pretty bold, aren’t you?”  She laughs nervously.

“Sorry.  You don’t have to answer.  I was just curious.  Besides you already know a lot about me”,  He writes back.

“No, to be honest, I don’t know much about you, other than medically speaking.  I’m telling you the truth when I say I’ve been living under a rock of medical studies for years.  I was actually just thinking that, by the sound of things, I should probably look into this ‘Auston Matthews’ guy.  You’ve got me curious, thinking I must be in the presence of a pretty amazing star”, she says half teasing.

Auston is embarrassed. He writes on his board, “Oh man, I feel like an asshole for coming across as cocky.”  He then wipes his board.  “Sorry, I’m not used to people not knowing who I am, in hockey-obsessed Toronto, I mean”, He writes and wipes again.  “I am actually just a 27-year-old guy, raised in Arizona, blessed with a supportive family, great coaches, athleticism, fast reflexes and good hand-eye coordination. I applied myself and have been very lucky.”  

He is running out of room on the whiteboard, so he shows her and cleans the board.  He continues, “I’ve achieved pretty good success and play for a big deal team that makes a big deal out of me.”  

He cleans the board again and adds, “But I’ve never won a Cup, can’t breathe on my own, can’t talk, and never saved a life.  So look no further than yourself, cause you’re the star in this room.”  He erases again and ends with, “Oh, and you’re gonna have to get me a bigger whiteboard.”  He gives a cheeky smile as he holds up the board.

Dr Quinn laughs. “Ha!  Very funny!  Oh, Auston, I could get you a bigger whiteboard, but I plan on getting you talking as soon as possible.  Seriously though, thank you for sharing with me a bit about you.  I’m glad to know you better.”  She doesn’t know what else to say but definitely feels that he has just endeared himself to her.

“So I understand you’ve become a very successful doctor in a short period?”  Auston enquires.

“One might say that”, she answers shyly.

“You must be proud of yourself”, He adds.

“Well, I’m happy that I was able to get where I am, sooner than later, so that I can do what I have dreamed of doing which is to make a difference for people in medical crisis like yourself”,  she answers.

“My parents told me about your rise, and it sounds like I am fortunate to have you as my doctor. Thank you, for all the hard work you put in so that you can be here today to help me”, Auston writes.

“Oh, Auston, thank you for that!  I’m really happy that I can be here to help you.  You could say for me, helping you was like getting into the playoffs.  But getting your voice back; that will be my Stanley Cup.”

“Look at you using sport’s analogies, Dr Q!” He writes, smiling and opens his mouth to emphasize shock.

“Yeah, I kinda surprised myself there.”  She responds, laughing.

“They told me what happened to your boyfriend and said that inspired you to do what you are doing now. That’s a pretty amazing story”, Auston writes.

“I suppose so.  I needed to make something good come out of a tragic situation.  I’m assuming that there was something that started you on your path to becoming an NHL player”, Dr Quinn queries.

Auston writes, “Yeah, I fell in love with the speed and skill of the game.  I bonded over hockey with my dad and my uncle, Billy.  My uncle died when I was about four.  My dad was pretty torn up since they were very close. It was hard to see him like that. I suppose I wanted to make my Dad happy again by doing well in something and honour my uncle.  I’m also highly competitive, which I attribute to me being a middle child.  Always fighting for the attention, I guess.  I’ve no idea why I just told you that.”  Auston looks up at Dr Quinn, to gauge her reaction.  He’s almost expecting her to leave the room, turned off by this guy who is not as cool as he is trying to appear.  He’s disappointed in himself, slipping up and letting her see behind the curtain.  He’s embarrassed.

Sensing his regret over his disclosure, Dr Quinn tries to reassure him.  “Well, that was refreshingly insightful and honest, Auston.  I’m actually flattered that you would share that with me.  Please don’t regret telling me that.  I’m actually impressed that you can see yourself for who you are and that you trust me, to tell me such things.  From what I have observed in life, everyone has the fundamental need to be heard, seen and valued.  Some just go about it more boldly than others.”

“Thank you.”  Auston writes as he smirks shyly.  His heart is overflowing with affection for this woman who stands before him.

“I’m sorry about your Uncle Billy, Auston.  How did he die?”  She asks.

“CF”,  He writes.

“Ah, a breathing disease. Interesting.  Well, you are going to honour your Uncle and make your father, mother, sisters and fans, very proud when you get yourself breathing on your own again.  There may also be a chance to make you and I the proudest that we have ever been.”

“How’s that?”  He writes, confused.

“Restoring your voice. Like I told you, the small trials have been successful, but you could be the first big success.  I believe in you, and I believe in me.  I will be your guide every step of the way.  We’ll be a team.  You just need to do what I tell you.  In fact, I’ll make you a promise.  I will go to one of your hockey games when you make it back to playing hockey again. How’s that sound?”

Auston feels a peace wash through his body as she speaks.  He knows he can trust her.  He believes he can count on her.  It is like he has known her forever.  He wants her to stay with him.  He feels secure and safe with her near.

“So do we have a deal that you and I will fix you and then I’ll go to one of your games?”

“Yeah, but I have one thing to add”,  He writes.

“And what’s that?” She asks.

“You’ll wear my Jersey to the game”,  he writes before he thinks it through.  

Where the hell has my filter gone, and why do I keep telling her things that make me look pathetic or like a school boy with a crush?  He immediately asks himself as his stomach drops.

Suddenly, her stomach gets butterflies, and a red flag goes up.  For some reason, Auston’s request feels intimate.  

“Then what will YOU wear?” She responds quickly with a joke, to lighten the unease.

Embarrassed, Auston smiles and rolls his eyes and is glad for the comic relief as a distraction.  He still wants to crawl under the bed but can only hope she isn’t creeped out.

Curiosity gets the best of Dr Quinn, and she can’t help but ask, “Seriously, though, why is that Auston?”

He thinks fast and writes, “Because you said we’re a team, so we have to wear the same jersey, right?”

She is relieved.  That makes sense to her.  “Oh for sure Auston.  Deal!” She says as she reaches out her hand to move past this uneasy conversation.  As they shake hands, they both feel an electric charge but pretended not to notice.  

Great save! Auston thinks to himself.

Dr Quinn wants to escape the confusing thoughts she is having about Auston.  She instantly numbs herself to feeling the tingle she got when they touched.  She reveals nothing in her reaction or words.  Her job depends on it.

“Well, I need to get going, Auston.  But I hope this talk helped.”

He nods and smiles but secretly wants more time with her.

“You going home?”  He writes, hoping to solicit more information about her nonchalantly.

“Yeah, after I finish some paperwork”,  She answers with a grin.

“Got any plans tonight?” Auston continues his mission for information.

“Just Pilates.  In fact, I recall, that’s what I had just finished when I got the Page to come help out a certain STAR hockey player who had an accident”,  She teases.

“Ha! Oh.  Sorry about that”,  He writes.

“Yeah, I might forgive you”, She jokes with a wink.

Auston makes a realisation and writes, “Hey!  So that night you weren’t even watching a Toronto, Game 7, Stanley Cup game?!  R you sure you’re from Toronto?  Pilates?  Wow! Just Wow!”  Auston shakes his head, teasing Dr Quinn.

Dr Quinn laughs and in a matter-of-fact voice pleads her case, “Hey!  I told you. I’ve been buried under a rock of medical studies, research, surgeries and being a doctor.  What can I say?  I have no life.  But wait! I seem to recall that as I arrived home from my class that particular night, I was going to put on the TV to check the score of your said ‘game seven’ when someone interrupted me from my ‘hockey game watching.’ Apparently, that SOMEONE needed me to do a little operation.”  Dr Quinn smirks confidently.

“Oh, so you ARE Canadian, after all!  I was really starting to wonder.”  He writes, teasing her.

“But seriously?  The tail end of a game 7 was the best you could do?!  You’re barely hanging on to your citizenship Doctor”,  Auston adds in jest.

“Looks like someone needs to pull you out from under that rock, Dr Quinn.”  Auston writes teasing her again.

“Yeah, I’m starting to realise that”,  She replies.

“So, what are you doing after Pilates?  Not to be nosey.  Just trying to live vicariously through you since I’ll be laying here in a hospital bed while you’re out there free”, Auston fibs.

“Sorry to disappoint, but not much, I’m afraid.  I will probably just get something to eat, return some texts, read or watch tv.”

“Do you have kids?” He writes, hoping his questions will just come off as light conversation.

“Nope.  No kids.  No husband.” She answers.

Auston is thrilled but doesn’t let on.

“A boyfriend?”  He dares to ask.

“Nope.  No boyfriend.”  She responds with a nervous laugh.  She again feels slightly uncomfortable but convinces herself he’s just asking cause he’s bored.

She surprises herself when she questions Auston back, “And you?”  She hopes he just takes it as an innocent back and forth.

“Nope, neither, either and no kids.”  He writes.

They both smile nervously, hoping that their happiness over such revelations isn’t detected by the other.

“Well you have fun laying here in bed, and I’ll have fun doing pilates, eating and not having a life.” She tells him.

Auston thinks she is so cute.  He writes on his board, “Ha!  Okay, it sounds like we’re both living our best life!”

“We sure are!  I’ll see you tomorrow, Auston and we’ll get you breathing again soon.  Oh, that is if you still need me for the breathing exercises.  Probably not, right?  You’re good with Dr Wright now, right?”  She has to laugh at all the “rights” she used there.  She is giddy and nervous and doesn’t want to acknowledge to herself why.

He writes, “Wrong! No.  I need you still.  Pls. We’re a team.  Remember?”

“You’re right, Auston! We are a team.” She tells him shocked by the feeling of warmth running through her body.

Auston smiles huge. He thinks she is adorable.

Needing to escape, Dr Quinn announces, “Anyways; I’ll be back here at 10 am.  Sleep well, Auston.  Oh, and I’ll send your parents back in.  Okay?”

“Yes, I’m going to ask them to go home for the evening and get some sleep.  I need some time alone, and they do as well.”  He writes to her.

Ignoring every warning going off in her brain, she swallows, “I see. Sounds good, Auston.  Can I see your board for a minute?”  

Auston hands her his whiteboard and marker, looking at her, curious as to why she needs it.

She writes something on it quickly, flips it over, hands it back to him and blushing, walks away, saying, “Okay Auston.  Sweet dreams. I’ll send them in.”

Auston watches Dr Quinn leave the room and quickly turns the board over, excited to read what she has written.  

“29” is all it reads.

[britishchick09]

sailor moon eternal part 2 livewatch

happy birthday usagi and chibiusa! it’s time to see them advance into their eternal forms and discover their true dreams in the thrilling part 2 of ‘eternal’! i already know it’s gonna be amazing!!! :D

what a pretty house! :D

OMG CAR CAR HARUKA CAR

YAAAAS!!! :D

omg this guy is fangirling so hard over michiru!

same! :D

AWW michiru bought roses for 6 months!!!! :D

girl” that must be her super hot lover!” lol haruka HAWT

OMG HARUKA LOVING A SALE ON DIAPERS :D

poor setsuna hotaru’s crashing everything!

aww hotaru! :D

the outers fam is RICH!!!

poor michiru and her plates!

haruka: “every day is like a dream!” awww!!! :D

michiru straightening hotaru’s dress! ♥♥♥

woah cool lemur transition! :o

scientist: “the solar eclipse ended with no problems!” NO PROBLEMS YOU SAY???

aww setsuna stroking hotaru’s hair!!! ♥♥♥

MICHIRU DOES IT TOO AWW!!!! :D

ooh violin practice! :D

the pegasus ghost! :o

what a happy fam! :D

hotaru: “bye bye!” aww! :D

aww the adult outers kiss their rings!

the solar system is so pretty! ♥

hotaru has a space simulation!

woah michiru was in germany and haruka was in africa? :o

OMG lightning! :o

it’s sailor saturn!

i can’t wait to se how they make her taller!

woah inners montage!

yay they’ll newly awaken! :D

hotaru: “now it’s my turn to guide you!” aww!! :D

their crystals! :D

a cgi holy grail!

OMG EPIC MUSIC!!!!!

OUTERS TRANSFOOOORM!!!!!!!!!!!!

DEAD SCREAM EPIC!!!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAS OUTERSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

oh no poor usagi! :(

rei: “neptune, uranus, pluto, saturn...” just say outers!

chibiusa’s solo transformation! :D

diana said ‘small lady’ for the hundredth time!

poor usamo :(

the amazon quartet with their powers reminds me of pokemon! (it’s that background!)

DAAANG NEPTUNE MIRROR STRONG!!!!

everyone being devoured by nightmares sounds scary af! :o

OMG SOME GUY JUST SAID ‘BASTARD’!!!! :o

sailor moon and tuxedo mask are back! :D

why did chibs only acknowledge usa and not mamo? :/

EWW ZICORNIA GROSS :(

now they spell n-bish’s name right!

tux’s mask fell off! :o

OMG USAMO!!! :o

helios’ feathers are so pretty! :D

aww saturn wants to fight alongside chibs! :)

woah did jun jun just breathe fire? :o

NO DON’T ATTACK CHIBS AND HOTARU!!!!

YAAAAS SATURN WALLL!!!!! :D

the nightmares are getting in chibs’ head! :(

YAAS protect her saturn!

hotaru knows the truth!

omg jun jun reached out to saturn

ZICORNIA RUINED IT NOOOO!!!!! >:(

she put hotaru and chibs in the mirror!!! :o

usa and mamo are kids! :D

mamo: “i’ll make you an omelet!” *makes french toast* BOI

aww mamo’s so nice! :)

he wants to make all her dreams come true!!! ♥♥♥

aw that ended fast :/

OF COURSE IT WAS A DREAM YOU WERE SO SMOL USA!!

i love how helios tells her to ‘shh’ and she claps her hand over her mouth :D

elysion is so sad! :/

AND IT’S FULL OF BLACK ROSES NO!!!!

the shrine priestesses look just like queen serenity!

nice crystal s1/2 callback! :D

OMG IT”S SO FLIPPING PRETTY!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

the golden crystal is mamo’s crystal AND THUS SAILOR EARTH! :D

OMG adult small lady!

BOI the princess you saw had PINK hair helios USA HAS BLONDE!

her eye are so sparkly! ♥

mamo: “although i always cause you trouble?” NO MAMO YOU CAUSE LOVE!!!

USA AND MAMO HAVE THE SAME DREAM! ♥♥ :D

oh no helios is in his cage! :(

n-bish: ‘those rats got in!” boi this isn’t dan!

woah helios’ forehead gem is powerful!

how long have the senshi been standing there?

i love how ‘mina’ is the word for ‘everyone’! :D

aww mamo and usa transform together! :D

EW ZICORNIA :(

is the zombie moment coming up? that’ll be so gross!

helios was responsible for the black rocks in tangled the series!

no helios!!! :o

omg i just realized n-bish has a gold line in her eye just like the mirror shard in sailor stars!

...is that the zombie part? lame!

ami: “we’re in a nightmare!” duh you’re at the dead moon circus!

OMG NO WAIT THEY”RE IN ROOM 101!!!!

the zombie part is just stone LAME!!

aww poor diana! :/

mamo: “have a strong heart!” just like kirsten! :D

the outers are ready to protect! :D

TASTE THE RAINBOW UGGO MOTHERFRICKER!!! :D

mina and rei working together! ♥♥

OMG zicornia slid tho! :o

you’re in room 101 usa!

OMG the captions went back to the old way of spelling n-bish’s name!

her echoey laugh tho :/

usa’s smile is bigger when she talks to chibs instead of saturn!

YAS N-BISH WAS SPLIT!!! :D

ami and mako broke the mirror! :D

OMG NOOOO ZICORNIA :(((

hotaru saved the quartet balls! :D

the dead moon circus is gone! :D

...but the moon is still dead! :/

all the senshi are taking a field trip to elysion! :D

poor chibs and helios! :/

her twinkle yell bell has such an echo!

neptune said ‘a weird air’... you mean aura?

even though she’s a bish, n-bish’s name being spelled wrong is so >:(

get ready for the sleeping beauty story!

why did ‘i’ll punish you’ sound different?

usa’s little ‘ah!’ when the attack hits them! ♥

pretty! :D

little inners! :D

SHE’S SO CUTEEE!!!! :D

and here comes n-bish with her maleficent vibes!

rei: “the moon at that time was a bright planet full of light!” ...whoops

n-bish: “if you could lend me a hand...” NOT WHEN YOU’RE HAND LOOKS SO OLD BOI

HOLY FRICK I DIDN’T MEAN TO PUASE IT THERE

TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFRICKER!!!!!!!!! :D

aww serenity is crying! :(

the cgi mirror shards are so pretty!

OH CRAP USAGI DE-TRANSFORMED!!!!

oh yeah the blood exists!

n-bish’s laugh is literally ha ha ha!

aww haruka is holding usa!

mamo: “give me the power usa!” the power of love! :D

omg this rock music though! :D

omg the transformation moment is coming YAAAS!!! :D

PRINCESSESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

OMG!!!!! :D

i paused this parfectly! :D

oh hey it’s the mini senshi!

i like how mini saturn explains everything just like hotaru earlier! :D

squad goals! :D

omg the powers!!!!!

her!!!!!!! :D

they took it straight from the manga! :D

this is why it took 5 years to make this movie- THEY WERE MAKING THE CRYSTALS PRETTY AF!!!!! ♥♥♥♥

it’s happening

IT’S HAPPENING!!!!!

THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT EVERRR!!!!!! :d

n-bish: “i am forever the beautiful queen!” suuuure you are...

why do all the villians lust after mamo tho

n-bish’s was so last minute AND IDC ABOUT HER BYE BISH!!!

rapunzel should’ve called the eternal sailor senshi to take care of the black rocks!

:’)

YAAS THE KISS!!!!! :D

he finally figured it out! :D

this is truly sailor moon crystal! ;)

indeed it was helios! ♥

how beautiful! ♥

royalty has arrived! :D

woah that looks so real!!!! :o

the senshi are back to being princesses! :D

them!!! :D

omg what if you put sailor vesta on windows vista lol :D

aww :)

helios has a horse lol :D

a rainbow lens flare! ♥

♫ and i know we’ll meet again some sunny day! ♫ :D

chibs: “i need to work hart even though i’m still little!” aww!!! :D

straight from tha manga! :D

watashi tachi ni naritakute in the end credits is so nice! :D

and thus the eternal movies are done! the animation in these is the best and most detailed 2d animation i’ve seen and it was so stunning to look at! the story was awesome and i can see why it wasn’t a tv show. it’s perfect for a movie! this was definitely worth the 5 year wait! :D

[quell-tea-salon]

TsukiPara translation - Kuga Ichiru scenarios

GREETINGS

When you think of autumn, you think of saury, and eggplant, and cakes with chestnuts!

Wordy books make me sleepy so I'll pass on them... I can read manga for hours though~

Whoa! G-give a warning before you touch me... That scared me.

*Yawns* ....What the heck, it's still early... I'm going back to bed...

*Stretches* Alright, time to wake up Issei!

I'm hungry.... I wonder what's for breakfast?

Issei..... Where did he go?

Mornin'! Hey, what's with that sleepy face? Cheer up!

Don't skip lunch! You gotta have real food and eat lots!

I'm definitely gonna master that dance step at dance practice today!

I'm not good with jobs that involve filming... But it's lame if I stay like that forever.

It's getting dark. Be careful on your way home! Don't stay out too late, okay?

...Is Shu coming home late again today? I know he can't help it, but... (TN: Omg his sad puppy voice ><)

Ah, this smell! Eichi must be cooking something. I'll go help out!

Have you had dinner? Make sure you eat something even when you're busy. Promise?

I think I'll go ask Issei about work.... But I don't want to keep relying on him like a kid......

Don't stay up too late! ...Though I get why you'd feel like staying up to watch TV, or play games...

Hey! Are you listening to me? (TN: If you're idle for too long)

Heeeeey! I'm bored over here! (TN: 2nd idling line fjga;gj;k he's so cute ;_;)

Hey, I'm bored! Let's do something!

After Issei gets out of the bath, he likes to go look at the stars. If you leave him to it, he’ll be out there for ages! I don’t want him to catch a cold... Maybe I’ll stick next to him and look at the stars together. (TN: This is one of the winter-specific lines. The other lines are about kotatsu.)

DORM

Schedule - Ugh! SolidS will be at this program too?! Not that I don't like them... I mean, they're my senpai, and my friends..... And I sorta think they're all amazing and respect them. Except Tsubasa! He's always messing with me! The other day, he even patted me on the head! He's treating me like a kid! ....Just watch! I'm gonna get so good at dancing and singing that I'll blow his socks off!

Food - What should I have for dinner tonight...?

(Select "yakiniku (BBQ meat)") Good idea! I love yakiniku! ......But it might be too much for Issei's stomach? Issei can't handle greasy stuff.

(Select "gratin") Oh, nice! Both Issei and I love that stuff! ......Right, I'll go ask Eichi to make us some!

(Select "soba") Soba? That doesn't really fill you up though? .....Hm? Isn't that one of Shu's favourite things to eat? It's light on the stomach, so Issei will probably like it too... I guess I should invite Shu and Eichi some time, and we can have soba together!

Reading - The manga that I borrowed from Six Gravity's Koi has a really interesting setup! ......I'll show it to Issei too!

Reading - This manga is lit! Yeah, I borrowed it from Six Gravity's Koi. Sometimes I get them from Arata too. At first, I didn't know what to expect from living in a dorm, but it's fun to get to swap books and stuff like this.

Running - Crap! I forgot about the study session with Shu! Did Issei go on ahead? I'll check his room before going!

Food - I'm not picky with food. I basically eat everything, but if I had to choose, I like hearty stuff like rice bowls (donmono) that I can chow down on and fill my stomach with.

Cooking - ......Issei and I used to live on our own, so we know how to make simple dishes. But I prefer the food that Eichi makes, and thinking back to when it was just the two of us, I think everything tastes better when we eat together as QUELL.

Phone - Ugh! I got a message from Tsubasa!? ....'Kay, I'm gonna send him some of those weird stamps that Eichi told me about!

Study - Uh............. I... hate studying. Do I have to....? I know Shu said "to be a top idol, one needs to have the knowledge and education to match"... and Issei is working hard too..... Okay, I'll do it.

Sighing - Shu sometimes says the most shocking things with a serene face, doesn't he? ......You never know what to expect.

Embarrassed - ......Shu and Eichi are both people who give out praises easily, although they go about it differently. Of course I'm happy to hear it..... But I'm not used to it, and it feels weird.

Lizz-kun - Lizz-kun........... They all have dumb faces, but you can't hate 'em. It's weird.

Angry - Damnit! What was that!?

(Select "What's wrong?") Just now, some guy bumped into Issei. He started complaining even though it was his fault. Issei kept quiet, so that guy just went on a rant. So I stepped in between them...... I hate jerks like that who force their opinion on everything!

(Select "observe quietly") I heard that the city is full of selfish assholes like that, and it turned out to be true... No, that's just an unfair stereotype. There are good guys and bad guys everywhere.

Resting - Suddenly I have all this free time. ......What should I do?

(Select "Have a meal with Issei") Even after becoming idols, we've been eating together every day. That's kinda of the norm for us. ......Welp, since I'm bored, I'll go invite Eichi and Shu too!

(Select "Dance lesson with Eichi") That's a good idea! ......I hate to admit it, but Eichi's good at dancing and giving advice. But I'm gonna catch up in no time! You better keep your eyes peeled!

(Select "Tour shrines and temples with Shu") ......Well, since I'm bored, that might not be a bad idea. Honestly though, I don't really get the fun of visiting temples. If I'm spending time with Shu, I'd rather do something else.

Drink - Looks like Eichi made some tea. Would you like some too? I'm gonna fetch Issei, so you go on ahead first.

GIFTS

Clothes - These clothes are for me? Thanks! Hey, it looks pretty cool! Huh? "This is the current trend", you say? ......I see. I don't know a lot about fashion trends or stuff like that. Of course, there are designs that I like or don't like. I know I should learn more about fashion as an idol. But you don't know what you don't know. Maybe I should ask somebody around here for advice? ...Somebody that isn't a blonde womaniser. I think Koi from Six Gravity, and You from Procellarum are into fashion?  Alright, I'll go talk to them!

Cake - I can have this cake? ......Thanks. I really like cakes. Actually, before joining QUELL, my birthday was the only time I got to eat cake. Obviously Issei and I have the same birthday as twins, so we only had cake once a year. ...When Shu found out, he took it on himself to buy us cakes at any opportunity. He'd brush it off like "I just happened to walk past a bakery", and I'm too embarrassed to thank him properly.... But, I'm actually really happy, and I'm grateful to Shu. ...This is just between you and me, okay? I wanna thank Shu with my own words one day.

Umbrella - Wow, it's a big one. Thanks. The other day when I was taking a walk with Issei, we were ambushed by a gorilla rainstorm? Or is it guerilla rainstorm? ...Anyway, it suddenly started raining buckets. Neither of us had umbrellas so we were soaked in minutes. It sucked. But this umbrella is totally big enough for both of us! Thanks! ...It's strange, whenever I get my hands on a new umbrella, I find myself wishing that it'll rain soon. Come on, gorilla rainstorm!

Bandaid - Thanks! Actually, I tripped during the dance lesson just now and scraped my knee... I didn't have any bandaids on me and didn't know what to do. ......I used to get caught up in dumb fights, so I always carried around some bandaids. But now.... come to think of it, I just stopped carrying bandaids one day. Huh, this is a surprise. Slowly but surely, I'm actually changing. I found out something good about myself!

PAIR CONVOS

ICHIRU AND SHU (1)

Ichiru: "Hi, I'm Lizz-kun. Nice to meet you, Ichiru-kun!" .....Hahaha, yeah right.

Shu: ... ... ...

Ichiru: Whoa!? Sh, Shu!? How long have you been standing there!?

Shu: ......How could you, Ichiru. How could you do something so cute... like play with dolls by yourself! ......Stay right there, I just need to grab the SLR camera from my room!

Ichiru: Huh!!? Wait, stop! Please stop! I'd rather die than let anyone photograph me doing this!

ICHIRU AND SHU (2)

Ichiru: Huff! Ha! Hup!

Shu: You've been doing pushups for a while.

Ichiru: Yeah.... I saw Eichi's abs the other day and it kinda shook me......

Shu: Yes, Eichi's abdominal muscles are well-balanced in definition, and beautifully masculine.

Ichiru: It's not fair that he has a six pack! ...While I'm just starting to get a hint of muscle. I'm gonna train so hard that I'll get a six... no, a twelve pack!

Shu: I don't think it's physically possible to get a twelve pack.... But it's good that you're putting in the effort.

ICHIRU AND EICHI (1)

Icchi: Yo! ...Eichi, what do you think of this pose?

Eichi: You look really cool!

Icchi: ....Eichi, you've just been saying "cool" or "cute" for every pose I make!

Eichi: But I mean it! I'm not lying or trying to flatter you!

Icchi: I'm trying to pick a trademark pose! ...You're not helping when you praise everything I do. I need to hurry up and become a hot badass and blow the socks off that womaniser blondie! ......Nevermind, I'll go ask Shu instead.

Eichi: No need to rush, you're already growing up into a handsome man! ...Besides, I really don't think you'll get different results from Shu.

ICHIRU AND EICHI (2)

Icchi: Ah~ I'm so hungry......

Eichi: I have just the thing for you, Icchi! Here, my newest gratin recipe!

Icchi: Oh, good timing! Thanks for the food! ......!? Th, this is...! Really good! The gratin is delicious too, but the curry sauce inside is just the right amount of sweet and spicy and matches it perfectly!

Eichi: Wow... It must be really delicious if even QUELL's resident tsundere is showering it with praise. So worth the effort of buttering up Procellarum's Mr. Curry to share the recipe with me......

[willandlyra]

Pls can you write anything with a jealous Nico? So like he's being a bit more touchy and grumpily affectionate with Will all day for some reason until Will realises why and he's like omG cUtE gRuMpY jealOuS bOyf

read on ao3

It’s not as if Nico is jealous, per say.

…Okay, so he’s a little jealous. But that’s fine! It’s not like he’s about to throw a fit over it. Or break into the Apollo cabin while they’re all out having breakfast to ensure that Will isn’t getting up to any shenanigans behind his back. It’s not as if he even feels threatened in any way - Will loves him, and he loves Will, and he trusts him.

But this new girl, hanging around Will all the time? Blushing every time he so much as says hello and thanking him every day for bandaging her wrist when she was first brought to Camp Half-Blood a few days ago, a shiny new addition to the Athena cabin?

It’s not that he doesn’t like it, per say - okay, yeah, he doesn’t like it. But the thing is, he kind of knows he’s being unreasonable. There’s no way she could know that he and Will are together, she’s barely been at camp a week and it’s not as if PDA is really their thing. If she did, she’d probably feel terrible. But she doesn’t, and so she keeps giving Will these longing looks from across the dining pavilion.

“You know,” Jason says, chomping into a burger, spread out all over the Hades table as if he’d actually been invited. “You should just tell her you’re dating Will. Or tell Will she’s got some puppy love going on. It’d be much simpler.”

“Not jealous,” Nico mumbles.

Jason raises an eyebrow. “Not an idiot,” he contributes, rather unhelpfully.

“Okay. A bit jealous. Still no need for-”

“Basic communication?”

Nico scowls. “Aren’t you supposed to be creating shrines to the forgotten gods of the world?”

“Hey, I’m taking a well deserved break. I did just save the world, you know.”

“Two years ago, Grace, get over it. And Percy’s done it, like, twice as much.”

Jason considers this.

“Irrelevant,” he concludes. However, he seems to notice Nico’s ploy at changing the subject because he suddenly, sharply, turns the conversation quickly back into, well, serious places. At least, mildly more serious. “But like, really. Just say something.”

Pfft. Emotional confrontation? Not today.

::

Nico has grown to like the campfires a fair bit. Sure, they’re tedious in some ways - Leo always finds a way to show off his fire skills while Calypso rolls her eyes and whatever new campers they are gawp and gape. Chiron extends wisdom to them all, as if more than 15% of the camp are listening (they love him really), and Nico’s face keeps getting overly warm from the flames.

But otherwise, yeah, he loves it.

He loves it with Will too. He’s got a good routine going on, they’ve got a good thing. They always sit together at the campfire, surrounded by their other friends, and it’s all subtle but they’re still close. Skin touching, limbs brushing, fingers warm and intertwined.

Things he loves: the campfire, occasionally, and also Will.

And yeah, okay, maybe because the new girl, Chloe, keeps giving Will shy looks from across the blaze, clearly oblivious to everything else, Nico might just lean in a little bit closer to him, letting his breath bounce warm against Will’s wrists, shivers when Will’s blonde hair tickles at his skin as he mumbles something into his ear.

Not that the girl seems to pick up on it. Oh gods, what if she thinks they’re bros? Nothing terrifies Nico more than the idea of muscly straight guys punching him on the shoulder with a beefy grin, saying “no homo”.

“We are definitely not bros,” Nico mutters.

Will blinks. “You what?”

Jason catches Nico’s gaze from across the way, and mouths “told you so. Jealous.”

::

So Nico overhears Chloe talking to one of her sisters about her huge crush on the blonde medic who took care of her on her first day, and his big blue eyes, and he kind of wants to go chill in the Underworld for oh, maybe six months or so.

The sister doesn’t say anything about Nico or Will having a boyfriend, and maybe she isn’t even really listening. But hey, Nico is. He’d appreciate some support here, universe.

See: he gets it. He’s being stupid. Will’s not gonna go for this girl, he knows that. Knows the thought of liking her won’t even cross his mind. He’s not secure in many things, but he’s pretty secure in one, and that’s just how much Will loves him.

What he’s not so sure of? Just how much he really deserves that love, and whether other kids here could wear it way better, make him smile brighter.

It’s not a nice way to feel.

::

“Any reason why you’ve been stalking me to the Apollo table at breakfast, lately?” Will asks, nonchalantly, a few days later when they’re sprawled out across Nico’s bed.

(Will had suggested going for a walk. Nico had snorted, and responded with one word. Or maybe two, technically: “uh, pillows?” and here they are.)

Nico frowns at his words.

“Um, rude,” he sniffs. “You should be blessed with my presence.”

“Oh, I am,” Will grins. “But like, you’re usually not up until noon. Breakfast is lunch and lunch is pomegranates. Something’s up.”

“I’m a morning person now,” Nico says weakly.

Will snorts.

“Yeah, and I’m Clarisse La Rue from Ares,” he says sarcasitcally. “What’s going on, really?”

Nico is quiet for a moment.

He swears he can hear Jason’s voice - like maybe the big blonde loser is chilling under his bed waiting to act as his conscience. But it’s probably just in his head, a byproduct from all the mother henning he’s done over the years.

Just tell him, Nico. Followed by a deep and long suffering sigh.

“So you know that new girl in Athena,” he says, eventually, not bothering to phrase it as a question. “She has a crush on you.”

“Oh, Chloe?”

“That’s the one.”

Will rubs the back of his neck a little awkwardly. “Yeah, I kind of figured that,” he says. “I was gonna tell you, she asked me out this morning.”

Nico’s eyes bug out. “What?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, came by the infirmary. I felt so awkward, I was so sure the entire world knew about me and you by now.”

“It’s… old gossip, I guess.”

“Mmmm.”

“And?” Nico probes. Will actually looks confused for a minute, until Nico rolls his eyes and says, “what happened?”

“Oh, well, I just told her that she’s really nice, but I’ve got a boyfriend at the moment. He’s pretty cool, you know him?”

Nico hides his face but he’s smiling. “You’re a dork.”

“She was cool with it,” Will continues. “Had no idea, said sorry and all that. But we’re all good.”

“Cool,” Nico says.

Quiet.

And then -

“So why’d it bother you, anyway?” Will asks. “That she liked me?”

“I don’t know,” Nico shrugs. “I, um. Was just as bit jealous, I guess?”

“How come?” he actually looks a little concerned. “You don’t - you didn’t think I’d like her or something, did you? Cause I wouldn’t. Not while I have you. I like you. You know that, right? Like, I love you.”

“I know that,” Nico says. “I love you too.”

“You better.”

“I do.”

“Then… why?”

Nico curls up into himself but the thing is, Will follows his motions; melting into him and the way he leans, moving closer, not letting him isolate himself, pull away.

“Just, all that insecurity,” Nico says and he shrugs as if it’s nothing although he knows Will will know it’s not. “It never really goes away. I still don’t feel like I’m all that good enough for you sometimes.”

Will looks at him incredulously.

…And then, for some reason, gives him half a noogie, before collapsing on top of him and draping his arms around Nico’s neck, nuzzling in against him.

“Idiot,” he mutters. “As if - no, that’s not - you’re an idiot.”

“You just repeated yourself. Well done.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Will warns.

“Sorry,” Nico mutters.

“Don’t be,” Will says. He still hasn’t let go. “you don’t… you don’t need to feel that way. Like, ever. I love you. You know that. I don’t want anyone else?”

Nico hesitates, and he’s not sure for a moment if he believes it. There’s his past and his thoughts and all his experiences, moments that have taught him to believe he’s not good enough, he’s not worth it. No one could ever love him, at least not forever.

But it’s Will. And it’s enough.

“I love you too,” he mutters, barely getting out the words before Will’s lips are on his and he’s being kissed into oblivion.

::

The next day, at lunch, when Nico walks in the girl smiles semi-awkwardly, gives him a little wave, rose colours dusting her cheeks like she’s embarrassed.

Nico figures she doesn’t need to be.

He gives her a small smile back, and makes his way over to Will.

[thegeminisage]

more zeldablogging! hello, future me, i hope you’re enjoying these

today: lake hyrule!

the tower is next to not-eldin bridge so maybe i should approach from there and not faron tower

but i can see farosh's bridge from here and it's juuust the right time

maybe i'll just got wait a few moments and see if he appears

AAAH THERE HE IS!!!!

and another scale :3

i wish i could get horn shards tho :/

lol i get super sad whenever i go back to the plateau even just to glide off the tower ): old man ))):

i used to think it was so tall! and now it looks so normal bc i've seen so much taller.

did NOT miss the rain while i was at death mountain

lol i can't believe these two puny lizalfos once prevented me from crossing this bridge bc it was too difficult of a fight

and FINALLY i'm across for real

and map obtained

i feel like lake hylia is about the same size here as in tp, but in tp it feels much bigger than it does here bc this world is already so huge and dwarfs even the massive divine beasts

god i can't BELIEVE i am always so low on arrows. frankly: an outrage

lol instead of going to the lake im getting the shrines i have seen from other provinces first

whoa these colums are cool

this zone is called faron woods? not even in faron province, hahaha

ooh there's a lady here talking about the horse revival fountain! i did see something about a lord horse lake or something on the map, so i guess that's it

ugh why is it ALWAYS raining

i'll admit i'm in the stage where like, i'm okay with not walking BY every tree, just maybe seeing them all, maybe even seeing them from a distant ledge or my glider

which isn't to say the world has lost its charm or im tired of exploring, exploring and crafting is basically all you do in skyrim and it pretty much never gets old, but i'm more anxious now to uncover the plot than i was before, which speaks to the game's storytelling skills, yet still feel the compulsive need to explore Everything before moving on lol

i don't typically do a lot of post-game play so i know after i kill the final boss that'll be that

ah here's the shrine maybe the rain will have stopped by the time i get out

NOOO a combat trial......!

but it says minor test of strength so that should be okay :|

ahaha got it in half a dozen hits

unfortunately i have so many great weapons i can't hold the ones i get from this thing or the one in the chest :| i need my shit to break!! i guess i need.....to fight more. ugrh.

god i have like 12 orbs now i should go trade them in lol

i keep forgetting!!

@self pls remember

jesus. it's still raining.

me: i need to fight more!

me: sees two lizalfos, groans

if i had arrows i would just take them out from afar

that's my instinct in skyrim, you know? i'm a sniper at heart, combat isn't my thing

but i have no arrows and too many weapons so i guess i gotta change it up

lol and learn to block my shields NEVER break bc i don't use them bc i don't really know how

that and i'm always fucking carrying two-handed weapons :| i want more one-handers

MAN i one-shotted both of them when it took three hits before with the same weapon...! this atk+ helmet does not fuck around im never taking it off again

the ruins in these woods are making me feel Some Kind Of Way

i hope the lost woods are in this game

i mean, they gotta be, if the master sword is sleeping somewhere in a forest

i hope it's cool when you get the sword. that's all i care about

i'm lying i hope ganon the man is in this game too but

im trying to keep my expectations reasonable

I HEAR KASS! where are you buddy i can't see you

ooh this shrine puzzle is about a forest dragon....FAROSH, MY BUDDY

lol yesterday my brother texted me like where the fuck are you getting all these hearty radishes? me: faron my dude

faron and apparently lake hylia too are absolutely thick with them

oh my god there's a lizalfos camp here and they saw me coming from MILES away how even

naturally they've ALL got shock arrows in this very marshy watery area

good thing i can one-shot them.

oooh there's a glowing goddess statue here

ah this is where i offer a farosh scale, like i offered one for naydra and need to offer one of dinaal

weeeeellll i do have 3-4 of them now so i guess so!

i'd hate to miss a shrine and have to come back

holy SHIT there's a thunderspear in here! fair trade my dude! glad i broke one of my swords at the lizalfos camp lol

ah and now this goddess statue will let me trade orbs!! YES

i got 1 heart and 2 things of stamina which means i have 2 full wheels. i can do ANYTHING

i just swam climbed ran and glided with the same burst without putting on special gear it was GREAT

YES i found the horse lake and there's a great fairy here!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!!!

HOLY FUCK THATS IS ONE CREEPY LOOKING FAIRY

awww it plays epona's song

ah and i found a stable nearby!! good

there's an obstacle course here that i can do w/ my horse for gear, which i Want, but i SUCK at it, so

omg i made friends with a dog ;w; it follows me around

i tried to feed it meat but no dice

the start screen said something cool about befriending them...i wish i remembered what exactly!

ooh there's a quest here to catch the Giant horse...im gonna try it

im riding jemma now as well :3 these places have easy access for horses and i'm not as compulsive in my investigation of Every Single Thing so thats nice

nooooo there's a lynel in the way ;_;

even IF i snuck past it to GET the horse to REGISTER it i never could

i have to fight it. i have no choice

gotta get jemma out of harm's way first

im so nervous )))):

but i put on my soldier's gear and atk helm and drank a defense elixir and gave myself extra hearts so!!!!! hopefully!!!! it'll be ok!!!!!!!

i did it!!! it actually wasn't even too bad with the elixir and the armor

this is gonna be a long boring walk...highkey tempted to go get jemma but im afraid she would get hurt. and like. i know, i can revive her. but god.

THERE IS

ANOTHER LYNEL LOL

JESUS CHRIST

god i bet this WHOLE LANE is full of them

good thing i didn't bring jemma

beat him!! Not Even That Bad

omg I FOUND THE GIANT HORSE

and it looks just like ganondorf's, which my brother spoiled for me hahaha

IM GONNA CATCH HIM

ohhh my god im so nervous. him Big

i know it takes at least two full wheels to soothe him, which i have, but i brought potions too, like i just happened to cook some up last time

GOD I DID IT but okay jfc this is only the beginning i still gotta get him aaaaall the way back to the stable ;_;

and you have to do it at the slowest speed or he'll buck you i think

oh my god oh my god

we did manage a light trot a few times but i don't wanan risk it too much

i soothe it every time it does what i ask haha and it's given me the hearts many times!! so that's a good sign

so far so good abt halfway there

OH MY GOD A FUCKING THUNDER KEESE KNOCKED ME OFF

and shocked him!! poor baby

fucking HELL he ran away

i caught up to him and thank god he let me get right back on

maybe i'll get off and feed him some apples tbh

thank god i cleared out so many of these enemies beforehand tbh

tho i noticed lol the coyotes ran away from it maybe more things do!!

oh my god so i’ve been seeing bigass skeletons on the ground but they don’t move and i thought it was decoration or w/e, rightbut i rode past one on the way to catch the horse, and rode past it AGAIN on the way back, and IT’S A FUCKING HINOX SKELETON UP WALKING AROUND fuck no i’m glad we’re up on a cluff and it can’t see useven the live ones just sleep all the time my dude what the fuck?

HAHAHA I MADE IT

we took the last third of the way at a light trot so we're making progress!

uh holy shit apparently im already at max bond?? god Damn

oooh my gosh what do i NAME him

ganondorf's horse doesn't have a canonical name...

king of something?? idk if i even have room

thief by itself seems a little underwhelming...

ooh maybe phantom? for phantom ganon

midnight is too common, something with flames or fire could be cool for the mane but

i think phantom is what we'll go with

oh my god i'm trying the obstacle course with phantom and i LOVE this horse he turns SO well

AND once he gets to top speed, which admittedly isn't fast, he can stay there forever bc unlimited stamina!!

i still can't do the obstacle course lol the horse just straight up goes around the things most of the time and i looked up like, tips online, and apparently it's really fucking buggy, so, no. i got better things to do

LMAO so im going up to lake hylia finally and i have already run over so many birds this guy can trample anything hes a Big strong Boy i love him

oh hey there's a zora out here at this island!

ohhhh my gosh dude farosh is here at the lake too !! man he is. so cool

he? she? i saw someone online refer to them as shes

theyre named after goddeses but dragons were always boys in this series

i like girls better tho so

she doesn't stay very long here

like, she leaves very quickly as opposed to down in faron where i've seen her circle many times

oh god im at the ruined village again where i saw my first blood moon... #cursed

at least it's daytime now

OMG A FIRE WIZZROBE IM GONNA GET ME A FIRE ROD YES

omg a super fire rod. a meteor rod. #nice

lol wizzrobes are easy to fight you just use the proper elemental arrow and don't let them see you. if they DO see you you die tho

now that im not pissing myself in sheer terror these ruins make me Sad jesus christ im so sad for all of hyrule

BRUH there's a stone talus here!!!!

ugh i wanted to mark the miniboss spot but im OUT OF STAMPS

guess i can't mark cooking pots after all but with the interactive map + my sheikah sensor if i ever TRULY need to find one that should be ok i guess :/

/unmarks them all, SADLY!

killed the talus without even using any special food, haha - don’t have to be afraid of them anymore! becoming less afraid of red lynels, can’t wait for the day when i’m not afraid of guardians

there's a korok seed puzzle here where you have to roll a boulder UP a hill are yu fucking kidding me

ooh maybe i could have used stasis from up there...lmao fuck

maybe i can use it from down here

i hate using stasis tho like it fucks up your weapons and i know i said i need to break some but that's just WASTEFUL

wow and it didn't do anything from down here anyway. ok i'll just come back to this :/

hey and that's all of lake hylia explored :')

tomorrow: gerudo desert!!!! me: HYPE!!!!!!!

well actually my brother's visiting so tomorrow: amiibo, but. yeah.

[hgfstreamchats]

Atlantis

*flop* Night human, hello! Hello I'm just beat I know the feeling. ...And it might be impeccable timing! Looks like the site is down. Awwwww, no We could... watch a movie instead? Did I somehow manage not to miss anything? A movie sounds excellent. Any suggestions? Hmmmmmmmmmmm let me check my list How about... Atlantis? Works for me! I have no objection.

Apparently we are watching Jeepers Creepers, and we are going to like it. Hmmm. Hmm, it's opening just fine in another tab. Here, try this instead https://www.watchcartoononline.io/atlantis-the-lost-empire

Atlantis: The Lost Empire | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Watch Atlantis: The Lost Empire online free with HQ / high quailty. Stream movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire.A large tidal wave triggered by a distant explosion threatens

watchcartoononline.io

Oh, watchcartoononline, why don't I ever refer to you first? Just, uh, ignore the ads. I forget they're there, having blocked the hell out of them long ago There we go! Beautiful! The end. That is not really a warning. hello! Hello! Whoop, glowy eyes of foreboding! And then they drowned. Shoosh. Uranium! Either that, or we forgot another relic on Earth. Earth is like a gosh-darn magnet for anything you carelessly shoot into space for some reason It may be due to Unicron being the core. He attracts chaos. Is that a shrine probably Oh my gosh Oh my gosh he's like Linguistics Mulder He does not realize this is always a setup to being murdered. At least he's being delightful about sending Milo off to almost-certain doom They really go all out on every facial expression. They do! I do not trust this weird human. omg kity This little human's adorable. Does he have a match in his mouth Hello main villain, probably That's not a trustworthy chin. No indeed. Exactly. Why was he crossing his digits behind his back? Oh my god what .... Apparently Milo's body belongs to the crew and they'd like to make that clear right off the bat. It's like everyone on this ship stopped giving even a single shit. Serpents do not have limbs. Not with THAT attitude, they don't She taunted Murphy. Well, that man is dead. And now they all die. oh, yeah, this movie has an incredible body count Excellent. Fun! This thing sure is... crabby. Good to get the cannon fodder out of the way early. That way no one misses them. yeah, it's really put them in a pinch Something something... shell? How fortunate they are that the air is still breathable down there. That's nothing, don't you remember Treasure Planet Treasure Planet had 'space technology' as a cheat. hahahha Awwww. dude, ASK qué es esto Wheeljack! Red! Hello, hello same ... Fireflies. Of course. Uh Oh What about, uh Their explosives And then they died. Heh. i like this guy Well Convenient power in the short term, but overuse will give you cancer. uhhh Shhh, shhh, that's definitely how language works. The surface dwellers also introduce new viruses into the local population. why is that human magnus Called it We don't trust his chin. I'm pretty sure that's going to turn out to be an enormous slur on Magnus GOOD Peaceful explorers, with lots of explosives I do not like the king's voice. Does this story really require the little ratman? heh. that's a man???? Who wouldn't want a story with a bizarre earth-fetishist rat-man Without the ratman, who else would grind in the obnoxiousness? i feel like my boy the explosives guy could give us everything beepbeep How does the linguist fail at pronouncing a name given to him? i think humans have a tongue swelling thing when they see someone pretty Less Ratman and Dr. Touches, more explosive human. more explosions general bring on the booms A convenient history of Atlantis. And then he died of the bends. Tragic. Shoosh, the bends don't exist, just like there's magically fresh air down here oh frag Whoop damn Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal, Magnus. Indeed I'm tellin' ya, the mech's gonna turn OH a BIG STATUE Or maybe, uh literally in his head His eyes DO look kinda crystally yeah so do mine Well, that looks safe ...Oh. It's because he looked This is probably not a good sign. Ohhhhhh my This is probably fine. Huh. It was fine. ALSO probably fine W What flowers why Smoke up what air they have left. That's helpful. Nobody we knew I love explosives human. How are they planning on getting back to the surface? OH HEY Oh great there goes alpha trion He sounds like Sentinel. I dislike it. He got that story out pretty smoothly for someone half a minute from death. He died on purpose, to get out of dealing with this mess. explosives guy is high all day every day Truly your spirit human. i love him They just so happened to bring tiny planes with them. Just in case. apparently! You never know when you're going to need tiny planes under the ocean. HA ohhh brutal How is she alive after that She did not survive that fall. damn magnus hahahaah his face oh scrap hahahah wow Nice wow Here comes Magnus! now magnus can't talk scrap about me bein' on crystals Hah! And they flood Atlantis with lava. Perfect. Well then They have known each other for about two hours. But it felt like three. ha GIVE HIM A HUG. Now wash that hand. That hand will never be clean. oof seaspray used to crack my spinal strut over his leg if i whined about it enough Nice. "But we WON'T say that, because it's SECRET" how did humans put magnus and me in this so well Dumb luck. There's apparently an awful sequel. technically it's actually three episodes to a tv show that got canned before it made it to air, and they thought they'd flog it direct to video Can we go about our lives, without suffering through the awful sequel? technically it's actually three episodes to a tv show that got canned before it made it to air, and they thought they'd flog it direct to video Can we go about our lives, without suffering through the awful sequel? Or will knowing it is out there haunt us relentlessly? uho h I'm up for it if you folks are. Welllllllll... Sure, I have not been tormented enough. Sure, why not watch something to viciously mock It probably is not worse than the pig sequels. Nothing could be worse than the pig sequels. Gotta run, Red. Thanks for the party Always a pleasure! See you! Behold! Atlantis on a tenth of the budget And then they died. Remember those beautiful shots from the first movie? None of that here! Lava whales. Lava whales. Of course. So it heals rock, too? I should know better than to ask why, and yet, it is the only question. Wasn't that thing... bigger? You probably aren't. Oh, it's crying His rock looks upset at what his city has become. their smiles look unnatural She looks weird OH JOY. A PET MASCOT The lava tubes. And a giant crab. No. Not allowed. Ew. I hate their relationship. All the food is just, like. Bowls of dyed pasta. You live in Atlantis, you eat noodles. Forever. Oh, Kida, what have they done to you? That's ridiculous They live UNDER THE OCEAN Surely they're familiar with, like, swimming, floating, drowning Yes, make sure you bring the animal with you. Where would they be without their mascot Perhaps less drowning. The real kraken is that grim faced weirdo. Gettin' a little Shadow Over Innsmouth here ewwww, don't touch it t's like watching animatronics Why do they even have an inn if they hate visitors so much what's with her FACE . . . She cannot actually focus on anyone. Will-o-wisps? Heh Rat-man's grimace will follow you to your dreams I despise everything about Rat-man. W...what Maybe he just has one of the magic life-extending crystals I hate that Rat-man is contributing more than he ever did in the good movie. He should never move the plot forward. and yet, he is "Ha, now you can't complain that he's useless!" I will complain regardless. Kray-ken. It like... patted him gosh, maybe he's not the one in charge here I never thought a story about a tentacle monster could be so unappealing. Stop moving the plot forward, Rat-man! How dare he contribute? And they crush their friend with roof debris. Gasp. Uh... ... Ominous. I thought there was going to be a twist where it was a tiny tentacle monster they do not get paid enough for this Also I feel like nothing was really... explained Of course it wasn't. Milo who showed up three weeks ago knows more than her, of course. Are they just planning on investigating nonsense around the world? Why not use the magic healing crysta on him Too much work. gosh it's ALMOST like the coyotes are MADE OF SAND, animated by some magic force Jinkies! ... This bit is older than I am. Oh, Kida... So there's no theft in Atlantis, huh Had not been invented yet. Well, HE'S evil Because you know the writers of this nonsense wanted to be timeline accurate. Him? No! Every problem is going to have a spooky old man. I keep expecting to see Wile E Coyote and the roadrunner in this landscape This seems offensive to someone. You think? I can't get past how weird everyone looks I mean, Rat-man took a lateral move, but still Gosh, who's surprised Wait, did Rat-man just contribute to the plot again More than old man Kakashi. Because surely he won't just go to the cave and steal everything. Rat-man's carrying the plot and I'm not okay with that. ... oh wow. He's the most important character in this story It's, like, all about his dirt-eating Oh so it's a big museum The adventures of Rat-man and friends. wow his voice will just never stop cracking, will it Stop touching each other. And then he killed them. WOW who would have GUESSED Of course we have to have silly implausible knockout gas. Why even bother tying them up? Just kill them while they are unconscious. Likes gloating? Please, please kill them while they're unconscious. I don't like Milo's little pantaloons or shapely calves. Someone had to draw them. Guess SOMEbody's about to get sandblasted But for the pot they broke, they must die. Don't do it, Kakashi! Tell me your secret. "well if I told you it wouldn't be a secret, would it" "We love you, old man Jicama." ... Did Odin broke into his house. Did Odin break into this guy's I mean I sthis where theis is going What even is this premise? I mean I guess he can have it None of this could have less to do with anything. Oh dude you are WAY off they wanted to do a multi-season tv show like this ...Or, uh. Maybe not Then he is simply an insane man who is good at training birds. Dead. Pffffff . . . . . . . "The cum filling?" ...What I also heard that. And again, ratman is essential to the plot. ....Ewwwwww, he dressed her I think he is very confused abou this mythos, also I feel concussed. ...Did anyone else just see the explosives human disassociate out of his body? They've all been doing that The image bleed has been very prevalent. I haven't seen it get quite as bad as that. Uh... huh. So they're like boiling the ocean That's a little grim Rest in peace, fishermen. Or not. Rejoin the world, just in time to participate in a World War. Excellent plan. Wait there's a child? And contract polio. Was she like born DURING the thousands of years under the sea? Not quite as bad as the pig sequel, but still too reliant on the ratman. well that was... underwhelming That was wretched. I'm on the cusp of powering down, but thank you all for coming and enduring this. Thank you for hosting this terrible assortment of bad ideas. Well. It's what I do! Good night! Thanks for the stream. Good night! Good night! Thanks for the stream. Good night! Thank *you* for the movie suggestion, night human!

[fashiontrendin-blog]

How I Avoided Sunday Scaries Last Week: A Detailed Account

http://fashion-trendin.com/how-i-avoided-sunday-scaries-last-week-a-detailed-account/

How I Avoided Sunday Scaries Last Week: A Detailed Account

This Sunday Scaries diary starts in the middle of the night…

4:30 a.m.

I wake up to Avi getting out of my bed and leaving the room. I presume he’s moving to the couch, which he occasionally does when he’s having insomnia and is nervous about waking me up. I lay awake for 30 minutes, mind turning over the previous day. When I hear him stir, I say that I’m awake too, and he joins me back in bed. We talk for the next hour about life — what’s keeping us up, what’s exciting us, getting us down — and eventually both drift off to sleep.

9:50 a.m.

I wake up to Avi’s voice: “My mom’s flight just landed.”

“What time is it?”

“9:50.”

“She’s early.”

“Yeah. I gotta go. I’ll call you.”

He pulls on his pants, kisses my check and is gone.

10 a.m.

I lay in bed and consider falling back asleep. I had a rough couple nights of sleep and have been playing catch-up. When I realize it’s not going to happen, I succumb to the blue light and check my phone. It’s dead. The memory of last night returns: My charger wasn’t plugging in properly, as if there was something stuck in the inlet. I grab my phone, my sewing kit, and make my way to the couch.

10:21 a.m.

I’ve been using various tools to dig something out of the charging port of my phone for 20 minutes. It looks like cookie dough. I’m squinting and trying to see inside. I don’t test it until I’m confident it feels clean. When I finally try the charger, it works. Hurray! Blessed be the fruit.

10:24 a.m.

I decide to make myself a smoothie bowl, which have a reputation for being snooty and expensive, but which I think might be the hidden secret of breakfast. The ones I make are cheap, healthy-ish, delicious and don’t require fresh food. Here’s how I make them:

-One frozen banana (I keep a bowl of them in my freezer at all times) -A big handful of whatever frozen berries I have on hand (usually blueberries, strawberries and raspberries) -A few glugs of almond milk (I buy cartons two at a time and they last forever) -A tablespoon of flax seeds (or chia seeds, or whatever seeds) -Blend until smooth -Top with honey, gluten-free granola, goji berries

As the blender roars, I make up a story in my head about my neighbors hating the all-too-frequent sound and having an inside joke about how much they hate me. When it’s done, I return to the couch with my bowl. I reach for the remote but stop myself and grab a book instead. I’m reading Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh.

“Reading makes me happier than TV,” I announce to an empty room, like a weirdo.

10:45 a.m.

I’m still reading Eileen. It’s good.

11 a.m.

I suddenly occurs to me, mid-page, that there were two Man Repeller stories I was supposed to finish editing on Friday but didn’t. I drag my computer to the couch and get to work on editing what will eventually become 12 Home Decor Tips I Can’t Stop Thinking About and Why “Black Girl Magic” Doesn’t Always Sit Right With Me.

11:22 a.m.

My brother Andy FaceTimes me mid-edit. He’s smooshed into his couch too. We rehash the picnic we had last night at Transmitter Park. He had to leave early and wants to know what he missed. He has a general existential fear of missing out, which always makes me laugh because I don’t know anyone who does as much fun and interesting stuff as he does.

12:35 p.m.

I finish editing and suddenly remember I’m supposed to be recording my day today for Man Repeller’s Sunday Scaries franchise. I spend the next 15 minutes documenting the above. Now I need to rush to get ready to meet up with Avi and his mom for lunch.

12:55 p.m.

I shower off but decide not to do anything with my hair as it looks fine. For my skin, I put on EasyDew Active Soothing Serum mixed with The Nue Co vitamin-C power to start, followed by Honest Beauty Nourishing Lotion, then Glossier sunscreen mixed with a drop of Drunk Elephant bronzing liquid, and finish with Glossier Cloud Paint in Haze. Then I move to my closet to get dressed.

1:19 p.m.

Omg. That took me forever and I don’t even like my outfit. I panicked! How does one dress for a day with one’s boyfriend’s mother when one has no idea what the day entails? After trying a basic dress and sandals and realizing I felt entirely unlike myself, I put on navy blue wide-leg pants I haven’t worn in a year and a black puff-sleeve shirt. I feel very whatever about this outfit but I have no further time to deliberate or I’ll be late!

1:25 p.m.

IT IS VERY HOT. Why am I wearing pants? Why am I wearing such dark colors? I’m fired.

1:42 p.m.

I arrive at Avi’s looking so hot and sweaty his mother immediately dotes on me — bringing me water, sitting me in front of the air conditioner, etc. It’s very sweet. Avi says he’s calling a car because we’re going to Jackson Heights! As they put on their shoes, I run downstairs and buy myself an iced coffee.

1:58 p.m.

Avi, his mother Rita and I are squeezed into the back of a car on our way to Queens. Rita and I are discussing how chubby Avi was as a baby. She says her doctor put him on a diet at six weeks old! Apparently he was taking down double the milk he was supposed to. This delights me to no end.

2:25 p.m.

We arrive at Sri Maha Vallabha GanaPati, a Hindu temple in Queens — said to be one of the first Hindu temples in the U.S. (Also, did you know some people call Queens one of the most diverse places on Earth? The whole neighborhood is incredible and feels completely different depending on where in the borough you are.)

We remove our shoes before entering the temple and I take note of a sign that says shorts and ripped jeans are prohibited. I’m suddenly thankful for my full-coverage outfit. Avi and I walk around looking at the shrines, leaving his mother to pray on her own. I’m struck by one of the plaques that reads: “When I study, grant me success (by means of right understanding) always.” I make a mental note; I like that definition of success.

2:53 p.m.

After we leave, we head to the temple canteen for lunch, which Avi heard serves the best Dosa in New York. The canteen is underground, looks like a cafeteria and smells delicious. We order too much food, confirm it is indeed the best dosa, and spend the meal discussing Indian politics, Avi’s mother’s argument with Avi’s father about what car to buy next, and Avi’s mother’s similarities to my mother.

4:09 p.m.

After a long lunch, we head out. Next we are going to Patel Brothers, which is the largest Indian American supermarket chain in the U.S. It’s a mile away. We decide to walk because it’s beautiful out. I’m not worried about a thing, except that my brother missed out on lunch. (He’s been talking about going to Jackson Heights for months.)

Avi and I are laughing because we can’t seem to get 10 feet without his mother stopping to identify a plant and discuss its properties. It’s very charming.

Avi: “Mom, you’re too Michigan. Have you ever walked a mile straight?”

Rita: “This is the simple life, Avi. You should learn it.”

4:28 p.m.

We arrive at Patel Brothers. I follow the two of them around like a puppy, laughing in delight as they argue about things like whether Avi needs a 50-pound bag of rice. At times I can’t tell who is trolling who.

5:04 p.m.

All done! When we walk outside, it feels like it’s going to rain, so I call us a car home. The train would take double the time, unfortunately. When it arrives, we pile in for a 40-minute ride back to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, where we both live.

5:32 p.m.

On the drive home, I feel a vague fondness for driving on the highway. I don’t do it much. The car is lulling me to sleep. Our middle-of-the-night antics are catching up to me.

6:11 p.m.

We are home! Took much longer than expected. I immediately crank Avi’s A/C unit and put on one of his sweatshirts — I’m in the mood to be cozy. Avi puts on a Michael Bublé holiday music video as a joke to tease his mom, who he claims loves Bublé, which she denies. We pretend it’s Christmas for three minutes while Rita makes us tea.

6:40 p.m.

Tea’s up. Avi puts on Jaws for our afternoon nap time, for no discernible reason.

6:57 p.m.

Wow, the aesthetic of Jaws is amazing. The whole thing looks like it’s been run through a Huji filter, and the clothes are on point too. Avi gets up to cook, leaving me and Rita on the couch as she critiques every scene aloud, which is making me laugh.

Rita: “This is bad direction, no?”

7:47 p.m.

The light is dwindling outside. The house is filling with the smell of garlic. Tomorrow is Monday. I wish tomorrow was Sunday instead.

8:38 p.m.

I decide I would watch any movie with Rita commentary turned on.

8:45 p.m.

Jaws ends right as Avi brings us plates of food: sesame wings over rice with pickled carrots (a recipe he’s been perfecting this month that he found on Smitten Kitchen). He puts on cooking videos while we eat. He’s a good TV host — always picking random entertaining things to put on during downtime. The three of us watch a video of a person making cheesecake, and then cookies, and then a home-made iced latte. During the third one, as the guy goes to great lengths to roast his own coffee beans, Rita expresses her disapproval:

Rita: “No way.” Avi: “What ma?” Rita: “Why would you do all this? You can just buy one.” Avi: “He’s not doing it because he wants a coffee, he’s doing it because he wants to do it.” Me: “He’s stopping and smelling the roses!” Rita: “I think he needs to go to a third world country and see what’s really important.”

Fair enough.

9:17 p.m.

I wash Avi’s dishes as a thank you for cooking for us and then pack up to head home. My eyes are stinging, I think from the sunscreen I put on earlier that morning; it’s making me feel exhausted. Or maybe I’m just genuinely exhausted.

9:27 p.m.

Avi walks me to the train and waits on the platform with me until it comes. We chat and reflect on the day until the very last second, at which point I kiss him and run onto the train car. He watches me go. It’s all very old-timey.

9:41 p.m.

Hello home! Hello Bug.

10 p.m.

I put on PJs, brush my teeth and do my skincare routine right away because I know if I sit down on the couch now I’ll never get up. On my skin, I use Paula’s Choice cleansing oil to start, then Glossier face wash followed by Peach & Lilly toner, and then finish by mixing Caudalie face cream with a couple drops of Drunk Elephant face oil (I’ve been dry lately).

10:11 p.m.

I sit down on the couch and solve the Rubick’s cube on my coffee table in under three minutes, my latest party trick. Someone sent a Rubick’s cube to the Man Repeller office this summer and I took it home because I’ve always wanted to learn how to solve one. About a month ago, Avi and I decided to dedicate an entire night to learning. Hunched over a Youtube tutorial we figured it out together, and we’ve spent the last few weeks trying to beat each other’s times.

10:35 p.m.

I’m in bed now. I set my alarm for therapy tomorrow morning. I normally go on Friday mornings but I was sick last week so my therapist kindly rescheduled. I grab Eileen to read myself to sleep.

10:37 p.m.

Wait! I forgot to meditate. I open Headspace and do a five-minute session laying down, which I think is cheating. It’s a miracle I didn’t fall asleep.

10:42 p.m.

Okay, now it’s actually bedtime. Night!

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