#been thinking about making a new clown outfit. i still have the makeup

[lovesickhog]

Would people be interested in a clown photo shoot?

[clownyclaushoe]

art the clown x reader 🔞 | i taste blood and it's turned into an obsession series

part one | champagne confetti

the first time art the clown eats your pussy (and makes you squirt 😫🖤) 🔞 ofc

i didn't intend for there to be so much semi-plot before the porn but it gets just a little angsty/sad at the start. chapter title comes from the song 3d by jungkook cause i couldn't think of anything else and its a euphemism for squirting 😆💦�� series title is from lilith (diablo iv anthem) by halsey feat. suga.

part two | part three | part four

---

you couldn't quantify what your relationship with the miles county clown was; it wasn't really a friendship and you weren't romantically or sexually involved either, though you'd be lying if you said art didn't have a way about him that drew you in, something so inexplicably attractive about him. for his part, it seemed he tolerated you most times, others it was as if he kept you around for his own amusement.

that much was probably true enough, given the night you'd met and his over the top reaction to your homemade costume last halloween - harley quinn from the animated series. when he'd walked into the fast food joint and noticed you, he dropped his massive black trash bag to the floor, rushing up to you as if you were a celebrity. it was late enough that there were a few groups of people from the nearby bar throughout the restaurant. his display making them stare, snicker, and talk amongst themselves. it made you a little self-conscious, but the funny clown wasn't fazed at all.

you thanked him, because though a little embarrassing, it was also flattering, considering the time and effort it took to make each detail of your outfit and makeup just right.

somehow you'd let him sit at your table, you asking if he was going to purchase anything, if he was hungry; he had definitely looked like he could use a meal. he had pulled out some change, counting it out on the table. you placed your hand over his, stopping him, telling him you got it. his head jolted back as he looked up at you wide-eyed, mouth agape, as if he was scared by your touch. something in your chest clenched, wondering what made him react in such a way, what could have happened in his past.

six months later you still didn't know the details of his past, though you still were curious. what was he like as a kid, as a teenager, was he an outcast back then, too? would you two have been friends?

you stared at his back as he sat at his work bench, tinkering with some new items for his arsenal. it troubled you how you could compartmentalize that murderous, sadistic side of art from the silly, caring side, though as time goes on its lessening. you wonder, too, if those "good" parts of him were enough to keep him in your life, if it meant even monsters could one day be redeemed. though you doubt art sought redemption, his dark heart beyond healing.

you return your gaze back to your laptop, you had been binge watching youtube videos, just about to search for funny animal clips, when art's hand suddenly waved in front of the screen.

"shit, what, art--" you said all at once, as you hadn't seen or heard his approach. art's arm dropped, and he slumped a little, frowning at you curiously. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to snap at you. i was just startled." you exhale a deep breath. "yes, art?"

art grinned, pointing at your laptop. "what is it?" art flexed his fingers in a gesture suggesting you hand your laptop to him.

"you want this?" art nodded. "for what?" art insistently did a grabby-hands gesture, while bouncing on his toes. "okay, okay." you handed it over, hoping he wasn't ordering materials or weapons to be used for his next kill using your saved card info.

after a few clicks, suddenly there's audio playing. it's a woman - and it sounds like she's shouting. for a moment you think it might be a snuff video. it takes a few seconds to realize those are shouts of pleasure, not pain.

"i'll leave you alone to enjoy that."

art grabs your arm momentarily, shaking his head, pointing at you, himself, then the screen. you stare at him, confused until he turns the laptop to show you what he was watching.

a man eating a woman's pussy. and not in the cannibal sense, but the cunnilingus sense.

he continues pointing between the three of you, animatedly. "art? you want to eat my pussy?"

art nodded excitedly while pausing the video and putting the computer aside. you didn't think he viewed you that way, wasn't even sure he had a libido.

it seemed at times even art was at the mercy of his own whims, compelled to do things without knowing why or bothering to question it. you wondered if this was one of those times.

did he even understand what he was asking?

"i didn't think-- art, i-i don't--" you trailed off, at a loss for what to say. for what you could say. the truth was for an unbearably long time you've wanted him in every way possible, how could you deny yourself the chance now.

you stood, turning to him, and pushing up on your tiptoes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he slipped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer against him. your faces so close, you can feel his breath fanning against your cheek, his intense gaze boring into yours.

the moment lingered. which of you would act first and finally release the thick tension filling the already stuffy air; the summer heat worsened in the poorly ventilated room, sorely lacking air conditioning. sweat trailed down your side, under the thin fabric of your dress. you needed out of these clothes.

art smirked at you, tilting his head, eyes widening and brows raising - he's teasing you, trying to see if he could get a rise out of you. you knew he liked to fuck around with people for his own entertainment, of course you'd be no different. luckily, the distinction between you and everyone else was he's about to fuck around with you, literally.

you couldn't wait any longer.

you leaned forward, capturing art's mouth suddenly, gripping the back of his head. after a moment, art kisses back, a little uncoordinated and off-kilter, which is to be expected with art, and the almost certainty that he's long out of practice.

you whimpered a little against his mouth, taking aback by just how much you're affected by the touch of his lips and his embrace surrounding you.

his hands move down to your thighs and you hop up, art pulling you off the ground, your legs wrapping around him. art takes steps forward and you have no idea where he's taking you and you don't fucking care. he walks you over to his work bench with all his beloved tools that he kept in a particular order and never let anyone else ever touch. he cast the tools aside with a swipe of his arm, setting you on the table.

you sit at the edge and he presses close between your legs as you kiss again, feeling his hard-on though his costume, your hips rolling to grind against him, seeking friction to drive you both wild.

"fuck, i can already feel your big, hard cock," you gasp out incredulously. "want to feel it inside me already. please, art."

art grins, but wiggles his finger at you, shaking his head with his tongue out as if to remind you of what started all this in the first place.

you wait impatiently for his next move.

he grazes his hands up your dress, starting at your thighs and up the curve of your hips, over your waist, shifting up to squeeze your tits together. he unfastened the buttons at the top of the garment before pulling it up and over your head. once again he's surprised you, you would've guessed he'd tear the thin fabric off your body. you get wetter at the thought.

he's quick to do away with your bra and underwear. you lie back on the table as much as will allow, your legs spreading further apart for art to see all of you.

he grabs the backs of your thighs, holding them up as he leans closer to your pussy. he spits on it, his cold saliva spilling over your hot and pulsating labia.

art ducks his head, wasting no time latching his mouth onto your pussy, his big nose bumping your clit repeatedly.

"ohh, oh my god," you struggle to get out, taken aback by his enthusiasm, watching his tongue jutting out to lick between your folds. your body already starting to shake with how fucking good he feels.

his grip on your legs tightens, keeping you still. there's already a familiar feeling of building pressure, like you had to pee - you knew if it were piss, art would be unbothered and perhaps even like it more than the squirt that he was about to coax from you. it was growing urgency, you were so close. your hand blindly reaching for art, for some bearing to ground you, as you felt untethered, completely unfurled by this curious creature and his perfect mouth.

that pressure became too much and you let go, releasing a guttural moan as you come, squirting on art's face, and calling his name.

once art draws back, bearing his teeth with a grin. you knew there was something otherworldly about art, something uncanny, and this seemed farther proof, how he knew how to make you come harder than you ever had, so deeply, it ached - it nearly hurt.

he stands, leaning over you for a kiss, allowing you to taste yourself. when he pulls back, he looks to the pile of tools and for a fleeting moment you think you're his next victim. the real death after the "little" one.

he grabs something from the pile, showing it off with a flourish of his hand. it'd been what he was working on earlier. it was a metal dildo with a smooth head, small ridges around the side and a ribbed shaft.

a shiver ran through you at the thought of art using it on you, that he made it for you. you got wetter imagining being pounded with it, impaled by it.

"fuck yes, please, art." he pushed it inside your soaked pussy, watching the way it stretched you. "ah, shit."

he kept thrusting the toy in and out of you, kneeling again to lick and kiss your clit.

"yes, art, ah, ahhh," you grab his head, holding him in place. "gonna make me fucking squirt again."

and moments later, you were squirting around the toy fucking you good and hard, drenching art's hand and face. the afterglow seemed to go on and on, you have no idea how long, spanning like the moments you had spend with him, time having no meaning anymore.

when you both righted yourselves, you noticed he was getting hard again, huge cock jerking in the tight confines of his pants.

"your turn?" art nods with a grin.

---

sorry to end it with a cliffhanger

i hope you enjoyed! 🖤❤🖤❤🖤

© angeljeonjkk 2024

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Leap of Faith

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1k

Warnings: fluff

Summary: You use Halloween as an excuse to tell Spencer how you feel.

Square Filled: costume party (2022) for @cmbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

You tighten your pigtails so that they sit high on your head. You turn to look at how good your ass looks in the short shorts you bought on Amazon. The fishnet stockings are itchy on your skin but you’re going to be too drunk to care in about an hour. Usually, you make sure your makeup is perfect before leaving the house but this time, you make sure it’s messy and smudges at the corners of your lips.

You’ve been invited to a Halloween party at Rossi’s place where everyone else is going to be. Your costume is a sexy Harley Quinn. She is one of your favorite superheroes and Margot Robbie does an amazing job at playing her. It’s cliche and cheesy to add “sexy” in front of a costume but this time, you wanted it to be like that. You have someone to impress and it’s not gonna happen if your costume isn’t sexy.

You even dyed your hair blonde so you can dye the ends pink and blue. It’s a decision you made knowing you were gonna love it even after Halloween was over. Your shirt says “Daddy’s Lil Monster” which ends right below your breasts. If you raise your arms, you’ll definitely show some underboob. Your entire midsection is showing since your shorts hang low on your hips. You don’t care who sees you like this since you’re pretty confident in your own skin whether you’re one hundred pounds or three hundred.

You blow yourself a kiss and leave the bedroom, making sure to grab your metal bat on the way to the living room where your best friend is. JJ and Will decided to dress up as Barbie and Ken from the new Barbie movie. You haven’t seen it yet but you know the scene where Barbie and Ken are rollerblading through the town in bright neon outfits.

“Ready?”

Will and JJ turn you when they hear you come in. Will immediately looks away from you while JJ whistles.

“Spencer is going to go feral when he sees you.”

“You think?” you grin.

“For sure.”

“I call shotgun!” you shout as you run toward the car.

“No, you had it last time!” Will runs after you.

JJ smiles at the dynamic between you and her husband. You two became fast friends which makes her happy. You’re her best friend and he’s her husband. It all works out in the end. She walks to the car to see you in the front seat with a smug smile while Will is pouting playfully in the back. The drive to Rossi’s house isn’t long since she lives close to him, and when you get there, you see Derek’s car. If he’s here, that means Spencer is. They do everything together. The only car you don’t see here is Hotch’s. It’s normal for him to be fashionably late for these kinds of events.

Penelope and Spencer must have volunteered to decorate Rossi’s place because this looks amazing. Rossi is not the one to go out and decorate to this degree. You three walk up to the door and knock, and Rossi opens it slowly. He’s a modern Dracula without the fangs. He hates the feeling of things on his teeth. The years he wore braces were the worst.

“Welcome. Nice costumes.”

You step inside and see Derek texting someone by the front door. He’s dressed as a cop because he waited until the last minute to put something together. He still had his old uniform from when he was a beat cop and decided to use that. When he hears people enter, he puts the phone away to mingle. He whistles when he sees you, and he brings you in for a friendly hug.

“Damn, Y/N. Who are you trying to impress?”

“You know who. Where is he?”

“In the kitchen. He booked it in there as soon as he heard there were cupcakes.”

You pat his shoulder as you walk away from them, dragging your bat behind you. Spencer is by the kitchen island eating a cupcake when you enter. Halloween is his favorite holiday because he loves decorating and dressing up. He’s dressed in a puffy white clown costume. His face is painted ghostly white to match the color of the costume with dramatic eyebrows drawn on and a painted red smile. Even he can make something so creepy look cute.

“You gonna save some for the rest of us?” you ask. Spencer looks up and starts choking as soon as he sees you in your costume. He grabs a water bottle and chugs half of it to get the food out of his throat. Once he’s calmed down, he rakes his eyes down your entire costume. “I’ll take that as a good sign.”

“Wow, you look great,” he stutters.

“Thank you. I love your costume.”

“I made this,” he smiles proudly.

“I know. This is all you’ve been talking about for the past couple of weeks.” Spencer grabs another cupcake and tears off the paper before taking a bite. Some of the frosting gets on his upper lip which he licks away, but there is still some left behind. This is it. This is your chance. You walk up to him and reach up to his face. “You got a little something.” You wipe his top lip with your thumb and place the pad of your thumb in your mouth. “Delicious.”

Spencer is staring at your mouth and thinking he’d love it if your lips were on his instead. You can see the lust in his eyes so you take the leap of faith.

“You got some more. Come here.”

You pull Spencer close and kiss him to take the frosting off that isn’t there. Spencer grips your hips and pulls you closer as he kisses you back.

“Wait,” you pull away from him, “is this okay?”

“More than.”

You two meet halfway and kiss some more, not caring if you have an audience by the entrance into the kitchen.

“She made the first move. All of you owe me ten bucks,” JJ grins.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay, I've been sitting on that bit by @tumblingxelian with Zoe meeting Chloe at her new boarding school because a) it was awesome and b) there was a bit that really struck me.

Almost nothing about Chloe in the show is original. It's all pulled from the various bad adults in her life.

And it caused me to really think and examine what it is that I think screams "Chloe" that can't be attributed to Audrey, Andre, or someone else.

Almost all of it is derived from fanfiction: she's a weeb. She's brutally honest. (canon!Chloe has no issues lying, even if she's bad at it a lot). She's into girls and mad about it. She's at least a bit of a jock, despite her assertions about sports and physical work being gross and sweaty and beneath her.

But there is one thing my brain LASERED in on from canon: Her blue eyeshadow. This isn't something that comes from Audrey. As a matter of fact, it's not something that appears on ANY other character in the show. It's a bit of design uniqueness to make Chloe stand out.

And it does make her stand out. It shows off her bright bright bright blue eyes and shows off how bold she is. No other characters regularly wear visible colored eye shadow as part of their regular look, although a few have it for akuma costumes (no miraculous users have it, I checked). And even though it doesn't remain in her queen bee look, the way the black and yellow on her mask splits does still look like eye shadow in a way that isn't seen on anyone else, including Vesperia.

I think this is all significant. Like, I'm gonna put on my clown shoes and read too deep into it for a moment, but this is probably why I associate Chloe, especially a post redemption Chloe with a sky blue color. Not royal blue like the peacock, but sky blue. Yellow is still present and more dominant, but the blue is there. It makes me think that a Chloe who has some more time to grow a personality outside the context of her abuse would embrace a lot of very fun very "tacky" very bold and colorful makeup. I think she'd be one of those people who looks like a very visibly queer femme. I can soooooo easily picture Chloe with glittery dyed hair and multicolored nails and body art.

It makes me wonder where Chloe discovered that style of makeup and what made her choose to pursue it, and why she'd risk Audrey's scorn with it when every other part of her outfit is so clearly DESIGNED to cater to Audrey's personal tastes. Just some thoughts or fanfic fuel or something.

See now just feel bad for switching up her makeup pallet in my aus.

[ideas-4-stories]

It's fluff-o-clock!

Even though he has countless devoted followers and his crew has told him they'd rather die than leave him, Buggy feels alienated and left out when he has to go to social events outside of Karai Bari Island. You'd never know it - he still acts as overconfident and egotistical as he always does - but the whole time he can feel judging eyes on him. He knows they don't take him seriously. He's just the weird little pirate who got lucky, no special skills or insane amounts of power in sight. That's what he's convinced their thinking, at least.

Crocodile and Mihawk, who have grown quite skilled at detecting when their beloved clown is hiding behind a facade of bravado, call him to a meeting. The two of them know something is off the moment Buggy walks into the room, and after some questioning and piecing the puzzle together they're able to discern the truth. Neither of them say anything about it. They just move on to actual business in a way that lets Buggy know they do care but they need time to think.

Fast forward a month or so and Cross Guild has been invited to a party that all the most powerful pirates with the highest bounties will be at. Crocodile and Mihawk finally put their plan into action a few hours before the event. They "make" (those chosen would have done it regardless but our resident goths have a reputation to keep) some of Buggy's most trusted crew members help him get ready, putting his hair in an elaborate style and ensuring his makeup is flawless. Once they complete their task Croc and Hawk swoop in to take their place; they worked together to design an outfit for Buggy that's as "flashy" as he loves while still being fancy. As he finishes getting ready they present him with the final pieces - two label pins shaped like Crocodile's hook and Yoru. They chose pins so that Buggy could still wear all his finest jewelry while still having his boyfriend's claim on him clear for all to see.

Once they're at the party Crocodile and Mihawk never leave Buggy's side; in fact, they subtly turn any attention given to them towards the clown. "Your new cannonballs do sound very formidable, but Buggy could do twice the damage with a ball half the size." "What a fearsome sounding crew. I wonder if they would be enough to beat Buggy and his hundreds of followers." Little compliments sprinkled in the conversation to hype up the blue-haired man. Between Crocodile's social skills and Mihawk's sneakiness, nobody realizes they're spending far more time showing interest in Buggy than conversing with his more powerful partners. The clown actually feels truly confident and like he's being treated as (somewhat) of an equal for once.

At the end of the night they meet in Crocodile's room dressed in their sleep clothes. Buggy's put the two pins in a small box shaped like a treasure chest to show his partners how much he treasures their gifts. They've all settled down and are about to fall asleep when the clown mutters one final comment. "Thanks for being by my side tonight, but you guys know you're as flashily great as I am, right?" He's out before the two can think of a reply.

It's the depression and poor self-esteem the clown shouldn't have because it hinders people From what I've seen it's hard to be someone that many people can rely on them.

Wonder how long did it take for them to fully understand their clown? Probably around six months or less... Who knows 🤷 Anyway, I'm thinking they found a way to make sure Buggy doesn't know that they pieced the puzzle together. That would be cool.

A party that has some of the strongest pirates with the highest bounties... The Straw-hats will be there... Oh boy, that will be a weird conversation to have, won't it! Anyway, yes them being right beside Buggy. Just destroying other people's achievements for Buggy!

That is just so cute!!! Buggy being more confident in himself, acting more like he was when he was younger. Not hiding behind a mask. As well as looking his best, wearing pins that represent Mihawk and Crocodile are always so cute!!!

Buggy putting the pins in a box, that's probably one of his most favorite treasures is so cute!!!

[iohourtime]

Yamada Ryosuke: Side A - Expression

anan 2347

(Please let me know if there are any errors. Probably not my best work but I can't write properly lately.)

You can read the second part of the interview, "Side B - Change" here.

On May 9th, Yamada Ryosuke-san would celebrate his 30th birthday. To [make sure] the timing worked, the editorial department proposed to him: “Do you want to do a self-produced gravure [for us]?” while it was still [winter]. He replied with his acceptance really quickly and he first mentioned the phrases “expression” and “change” and some loose ideas of what he would like to do. We came up with the plan we have now starting with that conversation.

“I was fortunate to receive such a proposal for my 30th milestone birthday and I am very thankful for this. When I am thinking about what I want to show others about myself, “the form of an expressionist” comes to mind. In these times, only responding to what is demanded of us is no longer the correct attitude. Or should I say, aren’t we more free [to choose what we want to do]? When it is time to think about how to maximize [the expression] of “myself at this moment”, if I can work with a trusted team to do what I hoped to do, then I can become who I wanted to be.”

For the next part, the proposal for “Change” is to show the switch from “off” to “on”. Yamada-san is earnest towards work and is someone who is known for being professional. Therefore, we wanted to show him before he puts on his “work armour” and asked to shoot his bare face before applying makeup and costume.

“From my perspective, I’m wondering if people really want to see that? (laughs) Although it’s not unusual for people to see the natural [unprocessed] Yamada Ryosuke during the [process of] change, or rather, that is probably closer to who I am now.”

Singing, dancing , acting… of all the methods of expression, but a photoshoot is “what can express my current state.”

“Although I approach my work in the same way, whether it is video or print, I feel that my condition and state of mind on that day or time, whether good or bad, gets reflected in the work. Especially with photos, it is a snapshot of everything, right? It’s not enough to just have a great photographer, or just great outfits, or great make up, if these components do not work together, it is impossible to form a cohesive artwork. When all these components work, it feels good to participate in the shoot, yet more often than not, the components do not all come together. Sometimes it’s due to my or the staff’s mental or physical condition [on the day], and I am rather sensitive to such things. If it’s staff I’m familiar with, we can figure it out together, but it’s not a one-sided issue. However, with today’s photoshoot, everything fits very well, so it feels like no matter who and whatever we do, it’ll go well.”

For this part, Yamada-san suggested one keyword, “Pierrot”. [TN: It’s basically the clown archetype in pantomime.] The cover art expands on this image. Although he had worn pop-coloured outfits before, the style [this time], including the hair and makeup, was quite aggressive. It seemed like Yamada-san himself was also inspired by this and showed a lot of naughty expressions he rarely showed.

“Since I am going to do this anyway, isn’t it more fun to show [a side of me] that hasn't been shown before? As for the word “Pierrot”, I simply thought it’s an easy way to explain [the theme of expression], but… clowns can be laughed at, they can be cute at amusement parks, and if they are in a horror movie, they can be scary; there is a wide berth in [how they can appear], and I always find them as beings that are hard to understand. I also want to become a person who gives people different impressions depending on who sees me, as someone who can show a different face depending on where I am. That is my ideal. It would be nice if there were people who read the magazine and saw new possibilities in me, and I would also be happy if they simply thought I was cool. As an expressionist, it is necessary to continually show new faces. I want to keep exploring that.”

He is currently appearing as Nitta Togo in the drama, “Ousama ni Sasagu Kusuriyubi”. [Togo] is a scion who married a woman he doesn’t love in order to rebuild his struggling wedding hall business. This is his first shoujo manga adaptation.

“Hashimoto Kanna, who plays the lead role, and I can go back and forth at different tempos and it’s great working with her. I want you to see Kanna-chan’s brave visage properly. I thought I was past the age to appear in this type of romance drama, so please enjoy it. (Laughs)”

[To be continued in Side B: Change, which is probably the meat of the interview.]

[nero-vanderwolf]

HAIII tag Beanus so I don't have to send it to him too

Since that first "little" incident at Lisa's school, she had unfortunately found herself hanging out with Eikichi quite frequently. Really, she only wanted to spend time with Tatsuya, but he attracted an odd bunch.

Time spent with the group was still time spent with Tatsuya, no matter how tainted it was. And so she sat, feigning interest in whatever Maya and Yukino were researching for their latest articles. Tatsuya was off in his own world, reading the manual to a motorcycle he did not even own.

Lisa had begun checking the clock every few seconds to see just how late Eikichi would be. Two minutes, five, ten-

"That kid said he had something special going on, then he flakes on us!" Yukino finally snapped.

"Mhm, definitely suspicious," Maya added, though she was significantly calmer than her hot headed friend.

Lisa sighed and slouched back into her seat, "I'm not surprised he's dumb enough to get lost on the way to a diner two streets down from his school."

The little bell above the door rang and rang when the door slammed open. Everyone looked at the panting Tatsuya. His clothes were drenched and his makeup looked like a half melted clown.

"Look who's finally here," Lisa narrowed her eyes.

"Shut up," Eikichi groaned, "Ginko."

"Undie Boss."

The tunnel vision that always accompanied Lisa's mockery of Eikichi had stopped her from noticing the person he brought with him until she stood silently at the end of the table.

The first thing just about everyone noticed was the dress that was not appropriate for the weather. There were slits on either side, with a big red shash in the middle. Lisa had to stop herself from immediately laughing at the odd outfit.

"This is Lyn, and Lyn, these are Tatsuya, Maya, Yukino and Ginko," Eikichi smiled.

"Hi," she said quietly.

They all scooted over on the bench to make room for both Eikichi and this friend he brought with him.

"What area are you from?" Lisa asked.

"Just outside town," Lyn oddly said, for it contradicted what Eikichi had said at the exact same time, "Caelin."

"Excuse me?"

The two exchanged odd looks and Lyn whispered a bit loudly, "You said I needed a cover story!"

"Yeah, when talking to my parents cause they'd call us both crazy! These guys are normal though," Eikichi answered.

They looked back at the rest of the group, who had all been staring at them with blank expressions. Even Tatsuya had put down his "magazine" to listen to whatever they were yapping about.

"You got your stories straight now?" Yukino asked.

"Yep!" Eikichi answered, "Lyn came out of a portal in this alley near my home. She's from a region in this other world called Caelin."

"At this point, we may as well say I'm from Sacae," she said.

Eikichi quickly corrected himself, "Yes, right. Lyn is from a country called Sacae."

Strange. Whatever this prank was that Eikichi had agreed to with this new friend of his, it wasn't particularly entertaining. Lisa merely rolled her eyes while trying to think of something mean to say.

"You sure she didn't come out of a wardrobe?" Yukino said deadpanned.

"Haha, very funny, but I swear I'm not lying!" Eikichi demanded.

"Why a wardrobe?" Lyn asked.

Lisa grinned, finally having thought of a cruel joke, and faced Lyn, "You must get off on humiliation if you agreed to help Eikichi with a joke like this."

"I don't like these people," Lyn said.

The table desolved into a little argument between Eikichi and Lisa, with the occasional mean remark from Yukino. Lyn still could not figure out the wardrobe joke. Maya had put in earplugs and taken out her notebook to review her recent work. No one had thought of Tatsuya at all for the last few minutes.

"Can we see the portal?" he muttered.

Lisa paused mid incredibly rude sentence and looked at him funny, "Not you too!"

"No, that's a great idea!" Eikichi beamed.

"I don't know. A group like this could attract unwanted attention and everyone from this world seems to be..." she paused for a good long moment while her eyes rested on Lisa, "Untrained in combat."

At that last remark, Lisa had had enough.

"Alright, take us to this portal right now!" she demanded.

The group left the table in no time (while Maya briefly stayed behind to pay for their drinks and apologize to the staff for causing a ruckus) and made their way to the fabled alley in the pouring rain.

Eikichi stomped all the way there while Lyn trailed closed behind. The others walked slower as they huddled around Maya, who was the only one smart enough to bring an umbrella.

Eikichi and Lyn turned a corner into an alley that smelled bad from several meters away. While the others walked in, Lisa stood just outside. Trash bags littered the place and there seemed to be an entire rat civilization amongst the garbage. What a vile little place she had been led to.

"Just over here!" Eikichi smiled.

He stood behind a dumpster, out of sight.

In unison, Maya and Yukino gasped at whatever they saw. Lisa could not see it, only the amazed looks on their faces. Had you told them all their dreams came true, it was doubtful they would look even half as surprised and as they did then.

"We're going through the portal without you, Ginko!" Eikichi laughed.

One by one, they all disappeared. Lisa stood alone, staring into that dark alley. She could not decide if it was worth it to follow them and she stood there for several minutes. Her clothes were soaked and she began to shiver. Maybe she should turn home.

But just when she moved her feet, she heard a sound. Tatsuya emerged from the portal and he looked at her.

"Are you coming?" he asked.

When she did not answer, he stepped over trash and boxes until he was on the street again. He did not say anything when he took her hand and led her to the place they had all disappeared only some moments ago.

Before them was a ring of light in all the colors of the rainbow and inside it was a rippling vision of lush fields with a bright blue sky. Lisa did not have time to react when Tatsuya pulled her through with him.

Her stomach turned and she felt a sort of nausea come over her. But as suddenly as it had come, it disappeared as well. She opened her eyes and found she stood in a gorgeous field. The air was warm and pleasant breeze that smelled of elderflowers had already begun drying her clothes.

Tatsuya let go of her hand, and gestured towards Eikichi, Maya, Yukino and Lyn, who were already several paces away.

"We're gonna visit my grandpa!" Lyn shouted.

Whatever. The weather there was nice, there were no rats, and admittedly, Lisa was curious about this strange new world.

@beantothemax PSPSPSPPSPSSPSPSPSPS

AJSJDBB I DONT KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WHEN YOU SAID P2 FIC BUT SOMEHOW I WASNT EXPECING LYN!!!! YAYYAYAYA LYN AND EIKICHI FRIENDSHIP IS REAL im clawing and knawing on this so hard you have no idea. you also characterized the characters so well for your first p2 fic AKSJDB <3 BRAVO i know little to nothing about fe7 but i enjoyed this fic so much ehehehehehe

[kitkatt0430]

It is 36F and dropping outside, there is a fire in my fireplace, a snuggly dog cuddled up beside me, and it is time to see Harleen Quinzel go supervillain with no Joker in sight influencing her. I am so ready for this.

Episode is opening with that one guy who thinks he's Pharaoh. Hmmm, I wonder if Harley may have gotten to him.

Tickle torturing a guy in clown makeup, who might the mysterious voice over the intercom be? Dun dun duuun (totally Harley)

Harley just asked Renee on a date. YES I was seeing that interest there correctly. Be proud of this aro. I accurately spotted romantic attraction in these cartoon characters.

gas cannister gets thrown in a room with Batman; Batman throws it back *snicker*

Harley going scary scary on her rich client ^_^ and cut to... YES!!! Her harlequin outfit!!! it's black and yellow instead of the traditional black and red. And I rather like the look for her.

Her torture chamber 'in patient facility' is... certainly interesting. I do like the pudding easter egg in the dialog.

Harley and Bruce's alter ego voices are very similar; makes me think they both mask in the same way when they're in their 'normal person facade' which is interesting.

Barbara getting some clues there that Harley might be behind her new client's psychiatric issues. Dun dun duuun

Harley - I asked out Renee, I need to impress her on our date. Barbara I need the deets.

Poor Barbara, she's gonna go investigate her bestie now. :(

Barbara and Batman doing parallel investigation. Sooooo good :D

I'm just gonna spend the rest of this episode going 'Barbara Gordon is so damn cool' aren't I?

Batman - I'm gonna be condescending now. Barbara - >_<

cut to Renee and Harley being soooo cute on their date, *sniffle* poor Renee is gonna be heartbroken :'(

THERE IS A KISS, yes Renee and Harley kissed on their date!!!

Batman has found the chamber of horrors, I'm hoping Barbara has to save him from 'the playpen'

I like how Harley takes the time to dress up before confronting Batman. Gotta have that drama. lol

Harley is just... super creepy in this one. Really

Welp, Harley sets a bomb and knocks Batman out (not in that order); Barbara to the rescue???

BARBARA TO THE RESCUE!!!! BARBARA YOU ARE MY FAV!!!!

Harley - *sees Barbara's car, realizes Barbara is inside with the bomb* TURN THE CAR AROUND!!!

I do love that Harley goes back for Barbara and even tries to set Batman free because Barbara won't leave without him. She really does care about her bestie even if she is a supervillain now.

And Barbara tries to save Harley in return when the house collapses around them but noooo, she cannot.

So this version of Batman seems a lot less compassionate to the rogues than The Animated Series version. But he does try to be sympathetic when Barbara thinks that Harley's dead. Though he's soooo bad at it. lol

Renee thinking she's been stood up but she gets a call! Her secretly evil girlfriend is still alive!!! Renee has no idea Harley's evil or on the run. Poor Renee, but that means more angst for her later I suppose.

I do like that while this is set in a sort of 40s aesthetic and it does have Renee facing misogyny on the job, she's also able to openly go on a date with another woman and kiss her in public. Like... no they're not ignoring all the prejudice in the past but they're also in some ways showing the past as how it could have been if some aspects had been better. Sort of splitting the difference between historically accurate and Vic's casino in DS9? It's some interesting choices there for storytelling and I like it.

[rott3nlillies]

The Modern Renaissance: a Suit of Armor and a Bonnet

Due to the upcoming New Year, it’s got me thinking about my 2025 fashion predictions. Though the trend cycle has sped up drastically in the last few years due to overconsumption and fast fashion, I still believe the fashion cycle is fun to think about. I fully encourage to wear what you love and what makes you feel good but as much as we hate to admit it, the fashion cycle does affect us and our choices. Had you ever considered why you switched out your chunky platform boots for sleek knee high heeled boots? I don’t think keeping up with trends is inherently bad as long as you are fully aware of the marketing tactics flooding your timeline. With that said, here are four things I predict will become popular in 2025.

Something shiny and sparkly is always trending around the holiday season to get us ready for our night out on the town the last day of the year. I bring you this idea, pearl beading. Pearls have had a resurgence as of recent in jewelry and hair accessories, however, why not add them into your outfit? Pearl embellishing on corsets and mini skirts has stayed on my radar as of recent and I hope they stick around for longer.

With pop star Sabrina Carpenter, on tour and bigger than ever, I couldn’t help but think that babydoll dresses and makeup would make a comeback soon. Her set on tour is completely 60s inspired with a modern and pink twist. Though I don’t believe it will comeback in full swing, I do think we will see small references to the era.

I’m not sure if this will actually become a trend or if this is just a hope of mine but, clown-core. Vintage pierrot clowns have been all over my pinterest the last year and haven’t left my mind since. Exaggerated cuffs and necklines are something that would be easy to mimic on your own. All things tulle and circus costume inspired silhouettes and patterns has also been on my radar.

We all dreamed of our knight in shining armor to come save us when we were little. But what if the knight was actually just someone in chainmail tops and gloves? Chainmail and makeshift armor is something I could see becoming huge soon with the recent economic crisis and political state of the world. Our fashion typically reflects how we feel about our current society in more ways than you may think. A sort of Joan of Arc inspired look with a modern twist.

Linked below is a pinterest board I made with all of my references and ideas pertaining to how you could create your own version of the trend.

[my-fortified-wager]

Seeing as I’ve been DAMNED to the inbox, hii Miss Jade hiii- it’s your favorite detective!! I may or may not be in danger but that’s besides the point there’s a ✨case✨ to talk about 🫶

so, I guess I should get my own guess out the way before I get all dramatic reveal territory in which, just to be different and so clown won’t be alone, I’ll stick with RF Angeline. Umm whenever you see this, if we’re wrong, we go down together Clown 🫡

So CBM, right? Right. I guess I can go over the implications I noticed, there’s probably something I still missed but it’s #whatever, I don’t get paid enough for that. ( Miss Jade, I swear that this is a joke. I promise it is, I pinky swear even.)

First things first, taking a look at Beth’s file reveals that whoever the killer is, couldn’t have been one of the actual survivors. As everyone re-grouped by the time of the final showdown, that immediately provides an alibi for all of our remaining survivors. Which means our culprit had to be one of our poor victims. Now each of these deaths were quite.. uh. unique, to say the least! but buuuut. if you took a look at all the files, and looked closely and I mean cloooosely at a specific cause of death, you’ll notice something unique about that too.

Everyone else listed actually has a direct cause of death except for a certain someone. Taking a look at Aventurine’s file you’ll see that— while he technically DOES have a cause of death, he’s the only one who has “presumably bled out” in said cause of death. Everyone else? No chance, dead and GONE. buuuut there’s that “presumably” for Aventurine that raises some. suspicions, per se! Though if it is Aventurine— (it isn’t a though, it IS. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. …actually maybe I shouldn’t say that, I’m sorry eheh) where does the freckles description come into play? Well! That ties into a theory I talked about earlier wiiith makeup.

To recap on that theory, typically people who need to take into great consideration about their appearance would tend to cover up freckles with makeup. and why would they do this? Simple, because freckles aren’t exactly a beauty standard and I’m not genius but— I do believe that being seen as attractive is a part of being a casino worker. something something making patrons want to stay by combining the thrill and looks. Hell, he could’ve just been covering the freckles to cover his tracks until he said “fuck it” faked his death and donned a new outfit altogether. I’d say disguise but, I feel as if that’s in poor taste if this is more akin to his true appearance, y’know? he may be a murderer but uh, respect goes a long way!!

But yeah, that would explain why we haven’t seen freckles on Aventurine, or on.. ANY of the other suspects. I should also note that it is around the time of Aventurine’s file when Ratio started touching his face and seeming a bit disturbed. you know, specifically around the cheeks and eyes area where, and follow me here. where FRECKLES would be. There’s also the pointy ass heels and if THAT doesn’t do the man in then, I don’t know what will. I could keep going but, I think I’ve said enough

So! In conclusion, the culprit behind all of this was none other than…

…

Mister Aventurine!!

and uh I don’t know if I should be impressed or terrified that he pulled all of that off on his own

... good work, darling. I knew choosing you as my assignment leader was the optimal choice.

Before I get into the facts of this case, let me address the first part. Miss Angeline was a perfectly reasonable guess for Miss Flush, this I must admit. Kind, sweet, considerate, and caring, she matches Miss Royal Flush to a t. However, your theory fails on one simple premise. Miss Angeline has mentioned several times that she was hard of hearing, and in Alice's file, Royal Flush mentions a gunshot that only she was able to hear, that no one else asked about or mentioned, meaning this gunshot was more muffled and quieter. However... if she so desired, I wouldn't be opposed to hiring her for something special.

As for Crimson Balemoon, while your explanation is a brilliant observation of the situation, it is far from a proper report, Miss Collins. Of course, the report in and of itself is my duty... so I cannot fault you on this front. You've been a good girl getting this much out of the way for me. For now, let me compliment you on your work thus far, and share my own two cents.

... l will ignore the comment of your pay, however. Unless you'd like to end up as Owlbert, with slashed pay and an extended contract? Mhm.

Yes, it is as you say. The appearance of the Crimson Balemoon in the final stretch granted all our survivors immunity, no matter the intended suspicions on a certain man within the group. Meaning, only one of our victims could have been the Balemoon. Of course, this lends to whom. From being shot to getting crushed to poisoning, one is led to believe the killer must still be alive in the end, for how does someone possibly survive something like that? However, one detail pointed towards a different outcome.

This detail is small, so small that most of our detectives had missed it. For the attendant's death was never fully confirmed, and thus began my own personal suspicions. Yes, it may have been an oversight of Royal Flush to assume our victim was truly dead, even going as far to say she "presumed" he bled to death. Yet, this assumption only made his job this much easier. With the "attendant" dead, this allowed Aventurine to take off those gaudy garments and wear something that remains more true to whom he was, deep inside. And thus, the Crimson Balemoon officially became a component of the play. No longer did he need to hide any perceived imperfections that the previous Authority of Will had cautioned him against.

Thus, the makeup came off, the temporary hair dye was removed, and he would dawn a new outfit. And the striking, damning feature Mister Spades would swear up and down he saw when he was held captive, and connect back to our killer. The killer did indeed have freckles, freckles he covered at the demand of his old manager, to make him as marketable to desperate eyes as possible. Because simply put, freckles don't sell. But that no longer matters. And… yes Miss Collins. I would feel slightly insulted if someone called me being my true self a “disguise”.

However, when Spades went to "awaken" our culprit, he ended up getting his makeup on his hands instead, revealing the freckles beneath. Freckles everyone was previously unaware he had. And thus became the most damning evidence of all. However, our killer would not get rid of Mister Spade, and instead opted to frame him. And this nearly worked too, if it weren't for you.

Of course, all of this is said, but at its core, it cannot answer your biggest question of "why?" What would drive a man to commit murder of this degree? How did he pull it off? What was the reasoning? This is not a question you will be able to answer for me, my dear, for the files lack something crucial. It involves the history of the casino, its prior manager and the system of abuse, and the namesake of our killer, the Dire Balemoon.

I know you all seek to understand this story in full, and fret not. I mentioned that report, did I not? I will give you all the pleasure of reading my report once it is finished as a reward for all your head work, and I will be sure to explain this story in full, from its beginning to its end. This story is far from over, even if you've figured out our killer and detective. Of course, I alone am not to thank. Miss Royal Flush made this possible, and my appreciation extends pasts the stars. Without her recounting and luck, this truth would have been lost forever.

And thus, you stand on trial before my court, Mister Aventurine...

Or, should I call you by your other name... Mister Vita? Did you enjoy your little game of a cat and mouse mystery?

[iheartgracie]

campus nights reagan funny quotes

“Help!” a muffled voice calls from one of the bedrooms. A girl with hair the color of honey pulled up in curlers rushes out wearing a silky robe. “I don’t know what to wear.”

“I’m nervous, which is ridiculous, right? Who gets nervous about going to a party where their crush is? It’s like junior high all over except without the zits and braces. Thank god. I’ve been trying to talk to this guy for… a long time. I get all weird and shy around him. Well, shier than normal.”

“You’re hired. Someday when I’m a big well-known actress, I’m going to force you to do my makeup every day. In fact, I wish you could do my makeup for the winter play.”

“but last spring she had me looking like a clown. There’s stage makeup, and then, there’s straight-up too much blush.”

“My boss has a giant crush on him.”

“What?” I ask at the same time Reagan mutters, “Who doesn’t?”

Dakota and I look to her. “What? Come on, he’s hot. No, not only hot, he’s nice and…” She trails off. “I’m just saying, it isn’t totally ridiculous that she has a crush on him.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him. I’m hoping that he hasn’t found it. If he has, I’m moving and changing my name.”

“Why? I thought you were ready to tell him how you feel.”

“Do you really think a red heart cut out of construction paper with glitter is the way I should do that?”

She giggles. “We were going for fun and heartfelt. My brother is a romantic.”

“He’s also a twenty-one-year-old man. I don’t think bedazzling the sentiment was my best-laid plan.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“Well, when I decide to tell you how much I like you, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“What if he’s already seen it?” she asks.

“Then I’ll send a postcard when I get settled in my new town. I have to go.”

“Promise me you’ll never let me craft for a man again.”

“I can’t promise that. Two glasses of wine and my judgment goes right out the window.”

“Again, helpful.”

“What’s with the all black?” she asks. She looks me over like she’s just noticing my outfit.

“I’m in mourning.”

“Oh my god, who died?” Her expression is horrified for a moment.

“No one. Just my fake relationship and any chance of ever dating your brother.”

“But I’m sure you just took him by surprise.”

“Oh, I took him by surprise all right, but not the good kind of surprise. The truly scary kind that should only happen in cheesy horror films.”

“Please don’t tell anyone else about the fake engagement,” I whisper while we’re still alone. “I’ll tell Dakota eventually, but I can’t do it right now. Retelling it was almost as painful as living it the first time.”

“I’m quiet because you make me nervous. I get this total body lock up around you. I can’t think or talk. It’s sort of humiliating how into you I am.” She screws her eyes shut and then peeks out, opening one and then the other.”

“My hands go to my face.

“I’m a narwhal, Ginny’s a tiger, and Reagan’s a llama. Duh,” my roommate tells him.

Oh shit. I’m a llama. I’m a llama standing in front of my incredibly sexy crush. A freaking llama.”

“Are you trying to politely ask if I turn into a drama queen, tortured artist every time?”

“Your words, baby.”

“I’d invite you over to meet the guys, but we’ve got training in thirty minutes.”

“Training?”

“Hockey.”

Also known as my new favorite sport.”

“Reagan nods in agreement. “Yeah, I need to go intervene before that girl standing next to Adam touches him one more time. Does anyone have bail money just in case?”

[avengerscompound]

Apartment X - Chapter 4

A Hawkeye Fanfic

MASTERLIST PREVIOUS //

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Character pairing:  Clint Barton x F!Reader

Word Count: 1754

Warnings:  Talk of cam work

Synopsis:   You had chosen your apartment for a lot of reasons.  It was quiet.  It had good light.  It was secure.  Your landlord was an Avenger.  It was a good space to live and work and feel safe. When you become friends with your landlord Clint Barton, it also comes with the potential of a pretty special boyfriend.  You’re just not sure how the public will react to finding out that one of the Avengers is dating a Camgirl.

Chapter 4

You were a little nervous.  It was ridiculous really.  You knew Clint Barton.  You had keys to his apartment.  You saw him every day - often in his boxers and you in nothing but a robe.  It was Clint.  Your Clint.  Your friend and neighbor and local coffee thief.

Tonight you were going on your first date with him and you were freaking out.  You had already tried on five different outfits and you were about to move on to your sixth.  You wanted tonight to be perfect.  You wanted to look perfect.  You wanted to be the perfect start to the perfect relationship with your perfect partner.

You went back to your closet and pawed through the clothes you owned again, now wishing you’d gone out to buy something new just for the date.  As you shifted each hanger over, the perfect dress popped out at you.  It was short and flirty and in a soft periwinkle, a color you knew Clint would like.  You pulled it out and put it on, checking yourself out in the mirror.

This was it.  It was sexy but sweet.  It made you feel desirable but not so much that you’d be worried Clint would only be thinking about sex all night.  You wished you’d thought of it earlier.

With your dress chosen, you started on your hair and makeup.  You had just picked up your foundation when you heard Clint calling your name from downstairs.

“I’m in my bedroom.  Just fixing my hair!” you called back.

Clint appeared in the doorway a moment later.  He wore a gray suit that didn’t quite fit him properly.  It looked like it had been made for someone with much broader shoulders than Clint and was a little too long in the arms.  He’d paired it with a tie in the same shade of purple as your dress.

“So this is where the magic happens?” he asked as he looked around your room.  As well as the typical bedroom items such as a bed, a dresser, books, and knick-knacks, you also had a lighting and sound rig along with two video cameras pointed at your bed.

“Yep,” you said.  “Welcome to the studio.”

He stepped inside and started poking around your equipment.  He shifted the light diffusers and moved one of the cameras back and forth on the tripod as he looked through the viewfinder.  “You have a pretty decent setup,” Clint said.

“I put on a pretty decent show,” you said as you watched him in the mirror trying to read his reaction.  You didn’t usually take dates in to see your setup unless you’d specifically roped them in to participate in a stream.  Even the most open-minded people were often a little startled to come face-to-face with it, and it would definitely not be something you did on a first date.  You wondered how he was taking it.  Would it scare him off being faced directly with it or would he be a little too interested in it?

Clint just looked curious.  He was poking around clearly more interested in the rig than the things you filmed with it.  “You make pretty decent money?” he asked.

“I don’t do too badly,” you answered.

Clint looked over at you as you sat at your vanity.  “Do you want help with your hair and makeup?”

You turned to face him, looking him in the eyes.  “Do you actually know how to do hair and makeup?”

“I grew up in the circus.  I know all about hair and makeup,” he said, coming over to you and looking a lot like an excitable puppy.

“I don’t want to look like a clown!” you yelped.

“I don’t want you to look like a clown either!” he laughed.  “God.  I still have nightmares about clowns.  Trust me.  You’ll look good.”

You bit your bottom lip as you looked into his eyes and only saw earnestness reflected back.  “Okay.  Fine.  I trust you.”

There was something intimate about someone else doing your hair and makeup.  It was an intimacy that beat sex in many ways.  He was so close and using such a tender gentle touch.  It made your scalp prickle and a tingle ran right to your core.  Part of you wanted to shove him back on the bed and forget about the rest of the date altogether.  Then he told you to take a look in the mirror.

You were good at doing your hair and makeup.  Your job needed you to be.  Still, Clint had made you up flawlessly.  You barely even recognized yourself.

“You can do this and you decided to be an Avenger?” you teased.

“I’m even better at shooting arrows,” he said with a quirk of his eyebrows.  “Impressive, huh?”

“That must be something to see,” you said, getting up.  “Shall we?”

Clint offered you his arm and the two of you made your way downstairs.  “So what’s the plan for tonight?” you asked.

“Dinner,” Clint answered as he tried to flag down a cab. “Then we can do something either fun or romantic.  Go to the top of the Empire State Building or go roller skating.  See some live music maybe?  We can play it by ear.”

“Sounds like fun,” you said.

A cab pulled up and it was only a short drive before it was dropping them off at a restaurant.  It was cute - light and airy, but upscale.  The Michelin Star on the door surprised you.  It seemed like a very un-Clint-like place to bring someone.  You looked at him with your eyebrows raised as he pulled the door open for you.  “You know pizza would have been fine?”

“We get pizza all the time.  This is our first date.  It needs to be perfect,” Clint said.

You chuckled to yourself.  It was reassuring to know you both had completely unreasonable expectations for the date.

The maître d’ took you both out to a table in the garden around the back and set you up with your menus before passing your drink orders on to the bar.  Clint flinched as his eyes moved down the menu.  “Pricey…” he whistled.

You made decent money, so you weren’t concerned about being stuck and unable to pay.  You also weren’t expecting him to pay for you.  But you knew Clint.  The guy who grew up poor and ran away to the circus had trouble with extravagance.  He was a one-dollar slice guy, not a fifty-dollar steak guy.

“We can still bail,” you said.  “Vinnie’s does pizza topped with tiny slices of pizza on it.”

Clint laughed.  “Next date for sure,” he said as his eyes skimmed down the menu.  He huffed and shook his head in disbelief.  “Tonight it’s a forty-dollar wagyu culotte.  Whatever the hell that is.”

You pulled out your phone and quickly googled.  “See here I was thinking culottes were pants.  It’s a cut of steak also known as top.  Wagyu… so it’s that massaged and well-fed type.” 

“Okay, yeah.  Yep.  Wagyu beef steak,” he decided, folding up his menu and putting it in front of him.  “All the way from the land of Oz.  I guess that’s worth forty dollars.” 

You chuckled and reached over, taking his hand.  “We’re splitting the bill.”

“No.  No.  No, no, no, no, no,” Clint said.  “First date I pay.”

“You really don’t have to,” you said.  “I make good money and I’m not exactly a traditional girl.”

“No.  I know.  But I’m trying to impress you,” he said playfully.  “Besides, I chose the expensive restaurant.  I should pay.”

You smirked and gently squeezed his hand.  “In that case, I’m getting the lobster… stuffed with caviar.”

“What?!” Clint yelped.  There’s lobster?”

You fell back laughing.  “No.  There isn’t.  Don’t worry.  You don’t need to take out a mortgage on your building to pay for my meal.”

The two of you took a little longer to decide what you wanted to eat and when the waitress had dropped off your drinks and taken your orders you turned your full attention to Clint.  “We’re not putting too much pressure on this date are we?” you asked.

He shrugged.  “I hope not.  I mean, I know I like you, and I know we get along.  We see each other every day though.  I wanted to mark the start of us being a couple as different.  You know?”

You chuckled and nudged him under the table.  “We could have just had sex.”

Clint quirked an eyebrow at you.  “We still can, baby.”

Both of you laughed and Clint took your hand again.  “I don’t know.  Sometimes I think romance is dumb and sometimes I love it.  This place -” he waved his hand around “- I don’t think it’s us.  So we’ll remember it.  Now when someone asks what our first date was like, we’ll know it was here and I spent too much money on a steak from Australia and I tried an espresso martini.  And then after we did something we’d never normally do, like roller skating, or going for a ride on the carousel in the park, or making out on the top of the Empire State Building.  Or you know - whatever?  It won’t just be another day I showed up with pizza and we watched the masked singer.”

Your eyes softened as you watched him and for the first time it felt like your heart fluttered in your chest.  If you were falling for Clint before, you were now head over heels in a heap - completely and overwhelmingly in love.

“You are a complete and utter sap, Clinton Francis Barton,” you said, and leaned over the table and kissed him.

Clint’s lips melded perfectly with yours and his tongue grazed over your top lip, coaxing your mouth open and flicking inside. It was the perfect kiss.  Soft and tender and charged with emotion and an intense mutual attraction.

You both pulled back at the same time and he grinned at you.  “You used my full name.”

“It felt like a full name moment,” you said.

“For a second I thought that I was in trouble.”

You giggled and rubbed the tip of your nose up the side of his as your lips ghosted over his mouth.  Oh, you are absolutely in trouble, Clinton Francis Barton.”

His smile got even wider and his tongue flicked out and danced over your lips. “Good,” he said, his eyes crinkling with mischief. “I get the feeling it is just the kind of trouble I’ve been looking for.”

// NEXT

[zhenjun]

white people, your cosplay is yellowface

Content warning: images of yellowface that may be upsetting below

Note: I have made the decision to remove the images of modern-day cosplayers. I stand by my initial choice to include them, as I believe actually seeing images of modern cosplay side by side with “real” yellowface was essential to understanding the point. However, this post has gotten much more attention than I ever anticipated. I had, at the time of making it, fewer than 30 followers.

In addition to harassment from sockpuppet accounts, assertions that my opinion on racism is less important because I am in the diaspora, misinterpretation about what this post was initially about (several people claimed cultural appropriation), threats to report and suspend me, and, apparently, discussion on twitter, for my own mental health, I am taking these images down.

I will no longer be responding to criticism or questions on the post, but I will happily answer DMs or asks on the subject. If you disrespect this or try to start more discourse, you are getting blocked, not because I want to silence your voice, but because I am a real person who can choose not to engage with people for reasons as seemingly unfair as my mental health and not wanting to continue filling my blog with the same post that honestly is upsetting for me to look at (as I already stated within the post).

If you have been blocked by me it is either due to disrespect and/or some form of unrelated drama due to how I like to interact with fandoms (i.e. ships like Ch*ngxian, Xu*xiao), not because I am trying to silence you. As I have so few followers, I am sure you can make your own post and gain even more traction than I did.

If you are white, please stop cosplaying MDZS/TGCF characters. It often looks like/is yellowface, and honestly there’s no way to respectfully do it when these media are based so heavily on Chinese culture. I’ll try to sum up why these fandoms need to be more mindful. You can find links and citations at the bottom that read best on my desktop blog theme.

The goal of yellow face in the past wasn’t always to look “authentically Asian;” white directors, actors, set designers, and playwrights set out to use what pieces of East Asian culture they found most inspiring, fun, cool, violent, or backward. Sometimes, white people had "good" intentions" with their use of yellowface and were not "trying" to demean our cultures, but the practice itself did so regardless.

To summarize, white people of the past did yellowface to erase our identities, take aspects of our culture that they liked, or ridicule us. Most modern-day cosplayers are doing the first two.

Below are examples of early Hollywood yellowface and modern-day theater, as well as modern-day cosplay:

[Previously pictured was a white Xie Lian cosplayer who was very receptive after seeing this post and has since removed these images from their social media. If you happen upon any of their cosplay or other social media, please do not send them any hate.]

As you can see actress Katharine Hepburn in “Dragon Seed”[1][2] is in very traditionally inspired Chinese clothing. The previously pictured Xie Lian cosplayer was in a similar hat and wearing white robes. They both had some sort of eye makeup; Katharine Hepburn darkened her hair for the role while the cosplayer was wearing a dark-brown/black wig.

Of note, the character Katharine Hepburn plays in "Dragon Seed" is supposed to be positive; an adaption from (white) author Pearl S. Buck's novel about a brave Chinese woman who stands up to Japanese imperialism. Like modern day cosplayers of Chinese media, just because the white people creating this film did not intend to be harmful does not change that it was yellowface and racist.

[Previously pictured was a before and after picture of a white Xue Yang cosplayer with blue eyes, brown hair, half of which was dyed blonde in the before image. In the after, they were wearing a long black wig, heavy eye makeup, newly shaped and darkened eyebrows, and robes made to emulate CQL in warm lighting]

Here are before and after pictures of actress Katharine Hepburn in 1944[3] and, previously, was a white Xue Yang cosplayer in 2020. Both had altered their eyes and eyebrows as well as donned black wigs or darkened hair.

[Previously pictured was a Jiang Yanli cosplayer in a black wig and robes meant to emulate the donghua]

Yellowface does not always involve modification to the eyes. In these two images, neither Mary Pickford in Madame Butterfly[4] nor the previously shown modern Jiang Yanli cosplayer have done anything noticeable to shape their eyes. They were, however, both wearing black wigs with traditionally inspired outfits. Jiang Yanli wore a modified version of Tang Dynasty fashion.[5]

[previously pictured was an image of a Wei Wuxian cosplayer with face powdered white and rouge around the eyes. Their eyes were still blue as the Madame Butterfly’s were on the left, and they were wearing a long black wig as well as robes designed to emulate his. This image has been replaced and amended with an additional example of modern theater; the production of The Mikado where one actor is wearing a black wig, the other a Japanese inspired hat, and both are wearing Japanese robes]

The final comparison was an example of a stage actress from the 2015 Fargo-Moorehead Opera production for Madame Butterfly[6] on the left (the earlier movie is an adaptation of the play). [This image was previously erroneously attributed to the Knoxville Opera which faced backlash for their production as they had an all-white cast depicting actors in yellowface in 2019.][7]

Honestly, these images just had a strange similarity to me so that’s why I chose to put these two together. Most importantly, was the similarity in makeup, hair, and East Asian clothing. Though the image is not there any longer, but just google Mo Xuanyu cosplays and ask yourself, if you didn’t know the fandom, would you be able to spot the difference of which one is supposed to be worse?

The new image is just another example of modern yellowface in theater, where the actors do not necessarily wear extensive eye makeup to emulate East Asians but, much like modern cosplayers, nonetheless are trying to look like the Asian characters they play in a Seattle production of The Mikado.[8]

As you can see, it’s pretty sad and disturbing to see how the rise of East Asian media is creating a new modern wave of yellowface. I think white people tend to think that black/brown/yellowface is only about darkening the skin, but that is just not what many depictions of yellowface have been for East and Southeast Asian people.

I know a lot of people recognize this is wrong and I appreciate those of you that do, but if you didn’t recognize the past parallels, please read up on the links below! Researching this was honestly triggering and emotionally taxing and caused a mild breakdown, so if you clown on this post you’re getting blocked.

Despite the post losing effectiveness to an extent from taking down the modern day photos, I suggest a quick google search of cosplays from the series during/after reading this. And if you don't agree with me, feel free to block and don't send more hate to me! I'm not trying to get into fights. I just wanna feel like I have a semi-safe space in the fandom but if this annoys you, it's better to just block me.

HISTORY, Casting White People in Asian Roles Goes Back Centuries[↩︎]︎

Youtube, Dragon Seed (1944) Trailer [↩︎]︎

NBC News, 'Correcting Yellowface': One Woman's Project to Fix Whitewashing[↩︎]︎

IMDB[↩︎]

Stony Brook University, The Influence of Chang-An Culture to Korea and Japan: Cultural Diffusion in the Glorious Age of Tang Dynasty[↩︎]

Howard Sherman, Yellowface Bait-And-Switch With ‘Madama Butterfly’ In Fargo[↩︎]︎

OnStage Blog, Knoxville Opera Forgets It's 2019 and Opts for Yellowface for "Madame Butterfly"[↩︎]︎

Seattle Times, The yellowface of “The Mikado” in your face[↩︎]︎

[imatechbummerliketomholland]

I wish this trip never ends (sstbthw part 2) - h.h

Word count: 3768

Warning: angst, swear, mention of smoking

Pairing : harry holland

Request: no.

N/A: okay, i took me almost a whole month to write this but i'm kinda need to work on school too. Remember, english is not my first language, so be kind if you spot mistakes, i really tried my best. I asked you who the reader was supposed to end up with ... I'll let you figure it out but ... don't hate me for the end ... because after all ... it might not be the end. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Love you all! xx

taglist : @angeliquekalampoka , @harryhollandsgirlfriend (the one and only harry holland's girlfriend to me)

ღღღ

previously - and you can find part 3

Restoring a relationship of trust and regaining the bond that you both had was particularly difficult. You had to learn to find your place in Harrison's life, but also in his relationship with Grace. You were roommates and friends, but it was complicated to plan meetings with Harrison's busy schedule. Between his job search after the cancellation of his Netflix series, his photo shoots, his dates with Grace, those with his family. It was getting harder and harder to find a moment to reunite with the two of you. It was without counting your schedule.

You were supposed to meet at noon for lunch at that restaurant Harrison told you about where he took his mother earlier this year, for Mother's Day. You felt uncomfortable going to such a place. It was very fancy; you had taken a look at the menu and you knew in advance that you would not be able to afford to split the bill. That was sometimes one of the downsides of being friends with Tom and Harrison. They sometimes forgot that their salary was significantly higher than yours. After all, they were still simple, good-natured guys, never saying no to a quick takeout meal or ordering pizza, drinking a beer at the local pub. And sometimes, they offered to go to prestigious places, not paying attention to money, wanting to please their friends or family.

Currently you were in your room. You were throwing countless of clothes across the room, trying to choose what you could wear to this lunch. Harry stopped dead when one of your dresses flew out of your room, right in front of his nose, blocking his way. You had left your door open and your spontaneity got the better of your best friend.

“Easy, Tiger. I had no idea your clothes had the capacity of Dr. Strange's cape.” He joked before coming into your bedroom.

You turned to find Harry leaning against your doorframe, a smirk encrusted on his face. You gave him an unamused frown and his smile widened. This wasn’t funny at all; you were stressed as hell. It’s not like you still had feelings for Harrison and try to impress him – to be honest, you still had feeling for your friend, but not as intense as before, you had drawn a definitive line on the possibility of a romantic relationship with him, which had helped you a lot. – But you didn’t want to be dressed down and looked like a clown.

“Come on Munchkin, it’s just a lunch. At worst, Harrison can still make it looks like he invited you out for charity, sort of “Make a Wish” event” Harry joked, in his significant humor.

“Go to hell, Robert. Don’t you have a pack bag to make, mister “I’m going to Spain to help my superstar brother to hold his tea while he’s filming”?”

“Rude… I’m a film director, now”

Not for that, you thought to yourself, but don't have the balls to tell your best friend. You didn't want to take this joke too far. You smiled at his cute pretending offended face. You pouted mockingly before biting your lip. You loved the dynamics of your relationship so much. Your humor, sarcasm, your outspokenness, that's what brought you together. Harry pulled you lightly from your closet with a comforting wink. He chose Yves Saint Laurent poppy red wool jersey flared pants that Tom gave you on your birthday. You smiled at his choice. You liked these pair of pants because they were sparkling with vitality, the color was flamboyant. Harry then gave you a satin pearl-colored shirt from Zara and you laughed at the drastic brand difference.

“Oh I see. A classy look but no more than £ 1000 that's pretty smart,” you joked.

The choice of your outfit once again proved the reality of hanging out with wealthy people. You were not poor; you could even be grateful for the life you had had. But it would never occur to you to give your friends clothes that were going over the miles and cents. To be honest, you wanted it. You wanted to live up to the gifts your friends sometimes gave you. But the truth seemed quite different: you had cried over the price of a used Rolex you wanted to give Tom for his birthday. Even having saved for 6 months, you could not afford such a gift.

“Shut up, don’t be so dramatic. Wear that necklace Harrison gave you for Christmas. I’m sure you’ll look fine”

“Thank you,Baz…I guess. ”

You kissed his cheek and then invited him out of your room so you could get ready. It didn't take you more than thirty minutes, time to put on the outfit your best friend had chosen and to put on light makeup. When you were finally ready, you walked to Tom's room. He had offered to take you to the restaurant where you were to join Harrison. But when you got to his ajar door, you could hear the soft sound of a slight snoring. You let out a chuckle before ordering an Uber. You knew he had spent almost a full month in Los Angeles and hadn't returned until early last week. You wanted to leave him as much as possible alone so that he could rest before his trip to Spain for the reshoots of his film Uncharted. Tom was a boy who loved being in touch with those close to him, but you also felt his need to recharge his batteries. That's why you preferred to let him sleep.

You went down to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water before leaving. When your Uber arrived, you left a note on the refrigerator to let the boys know you were safely gone. It was little everyday things that made you look normal that you enjoy. A post-it on the fridge, a table organizing household chores had been drawn up. Note to yourself; It was Harrison's turn to take care of the laundry.

☙♡❧

You had really hoped this was just a grotesque nightmare. That it wasn't real. He was going to arrive; he was just stuck into the traffic. Isn't it?

But you were there, waiting for over an hour and a half, without any news from your friend. Some people watched you with pity eyes, the others didn't give you any attention. You internally thank Harry for choosing your outfit. You didn't look like a lost kitten in this prestigious setting. It didn't prevent you from being ashamed right now. The waiter had urged you to order several times but you had told him that you were expecting someone, that he would arrive any minute. The last time, you didn't know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

But it never happened. Harrison never came to your dinner. You were alone, sitting at a table, pathetically waiting for your friend to show up. It didn't look like him. He had never stand you up before. And not to improve this embarrassing moment, the waiter came to you again. This time, with a man in a suit. He was elegant, carried himself proud but diplomatic. They stopped at your table, a tight smile on their faces. No doubt the man in the suit was to be the manager.

"Miss, my employee told me that you seemed to have occupied this table for a while now. I am sorry to tell you that if you do not order a few things, you will have to leave the establishment"

You looked at him with misty eyes. You have never been so ashamed in your life. You just nod your head, not trusting your voice just yet. After taking a deep breath, you finally apologize to them before telling them that you are going to leave. The manager of the restaurant, out of politeness awkwardly apologizing for this uncomfortable situation.

You've finished the Dry Martini that you allowed yourself to, paying for it with whatever pride you have left. You pulled your cellphone out of your purse and decided to call one of the boys. After three rings, he picked up.

"Hey ... can you please pick me up?"

Your voice was shaky, you were so ashamed but it was less distressing than having to walk the Walk of Shame to your house or cry in an uber. You hung up and shared your location. You left the lobby, leaving the restaurant, standing in front of the entrance to the establishment. The air refreshed your cheeks burning with shame. Luckily it wasn't raining today. Which was pretty nice compared to that early summer you had had.

When you saw Harry's car pulled up in front of you, you slid into the passenger seat without a word. The curly redhead gave you a heartwarming smile but you definitely could see a spark of annoyance in his eyes. You sigh, resigned while shrugging your shoulders. It was obvious that your friendship with Harrison was still shaky.

"I'm sorry, love. He's a jerk about it."

Coincidentally, like a mitigating circumstance, your phone vibrated, receiving a notification from Harrison. You were chewing your lip with a sort of anguish and irritation, watching the message the blond had sent you.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. My agent called me for a pretty urgent casting briefing. She's detained me until now. Are you still okay for this dinner?"

You were angry. You were mature enough and had known the boys long enough to understand their obligations. The fact that Harrison had a lastminute meeting with his agent and missed your dinner wasn't a problem. The problem was, he made you wait for over an hour and a half before notifying you. You wanted him to call you to let you know, or a simple text just after he knew for the meeting. You typed a short answer, shorter than this was impossible. "No". You rested your head against the headrest, turning your gaze to your best friend.

"Hey, he's a Netflix star now" you replied to his last words.

Your voice cracked on the last syllables and your eyes filled with tears. You weren't usually that emotional but the anguish and shame really took over you. Harry noticed, unsure of how to instantly respond to your distress. He would have liked to stop on an emergency lane to take you in his arms but he already had 2 penalties to pay, respectively for speeding and prohibited parking ... a third fine would not be really welcome. He simply placed his hand on your thigh, drawing circles on your pants to comfort you. He simply moved his hand to shift gears and instantly rested it on your leg whenever he had the chance. This gesture soothed you, enjoying the touch, grateful to have someone as your best friend to mop up your pain.

☙♡❧

Arriving at the apartment, no sign of Harrison. When you walked in the kitchen, you saw Tom sitting at the counter, scrolling his phone. He looked up at you, not directly noticing your annoyed expression.

"Wow..you're ... gorgeous. I love these pants on you"

You smiled, a little amused by the compliment. Of course he loved the pants, it was a gift from him. But your smile didn’t reach your eyes. With a look on your expression then on the clock, the actor understood that something went wrong. Harry was right behind and still no trace of Harrison. It was suspicious. Tom gave you a worried look.

"Do I have to ask…Never mind, I’m still going to ask. How was lunch with Harrison?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask him? Oh wait... right, he didn't show up" you said sarcastically although you could hear the hurt in your voice.

Tom frowned, biting the inside of his lower lip in annoyance. Harrison was his best mate since forever and he knew him so well. It seemed strange from Harrison to not show up. The blond has told him he was happy to see you again and walking through this whole awkward “feeling situation” because he didn’t want to lose you. In a quick movement, he rose from his stool to walk around the counter. The next second, he took you in his comforting arms and you finally let yourself go under the sight of the two Holland brothers.

“It seems like you need a break of all this shit” Tom said while he ran his fingers through your hair.

You let a little laugh escape through your tears. He wasn't wrong. You really needed to get away from this whole situation for a moment. But how? Harry watched the scene unsure of what to do. You were his best friend and it seemed like the solace you found was never in his arms. He had tried in the car, however, as best he could. He walked over to the counter to make you both a cup of tea. It seems that as cliché as it sounds, tea comforts you, as the English person you used to be. As the redhead waited patiently for the water to boil, a flash of genius - according to him - crossed the glare of his eyes.

“Why doen't she come with us to Spain?”

His brother's words seemed to suit Tom, who released his hold on you. You opened your eyes wide, not sure of what you had just heard. Go to Spain, with them? Once again, you knew you were going to argue on this proposition. The idea was not bad, Spain seemed a rather pleasant country. But you had just graduated and had a student job to save as much as possible. However, you could not afford to leave for several days in Spain, at the last minute. Plus, what were you going to do while Tom was filming and Harry was assisting him? He was sure the film's production crew wasn't going to give you a pass because Tom had decided.

“Yeah! That’s it, you’re coming with us”

“Tom, I have a student job. I can’t just…decide to go to Spain.”

“You never take a leave, come on. It’s not negotiable”

You were looking at Harry for help but he just shrugged. After all, he was the one who had initiated the idea of ​​including you on the trip. You were trying to find a valid excuse to stay home. You really didn't want to impose yourself.

“I can’t afford that” you said, trying your best to convince him to quit the idea.

“I don’t care, it’s not even a problem. You coming to Spain with us.”

"Omg, does Z dominate you in bed to make you so bossy in life?"

Harry almost spitted his tea and laughed out loud while Tom gave you shocked eyes with pinky cheeks. You had always been sassy but hanging out with the boys had made you even more sassy than ever. How many times haven't you heard Tuwaine or Harry make fun of Harrison or Tom on the sex subject? Being a girl seemed to make you an untouchable character. The boys had never teased you about your relationships or your sexual partners. And while you've always had feelings for Harrison, you've had your own experiences. Anyway, you had just gone with the flow and Tom's brand-new romantic relationship with his co-star gave you the perfect opportunity.

“That's not the point.” stammered the actor.

Your smile widened, proud of your joke and the way Tom reacted. You heard Harry clear his throat. He had his phone in his hand and his own smile didn't bode well for you.

"The production is okay but it's at Tom's expense."

“You got to be kidding me…”

☙♡❧

You ended up in Spain with two of your best friends. You knew you had limited time before Tom had to fly back to Los Angeles for some Spider-man: No Way Home reshoots. So, you enjoyed as much as possible: accompanying the boys to the golf course - even though you weren't very involved in the sport -, spending time to visit touristic places when they were on set, talking with Rachael and other people from the set. You really enjoyed your trip.

On Wednesday evening you went out to a restaurant with Tom, Harry and two other friends/tom’s colleagues. You couldn't deny that it was fun. You had the opportunity to sunbathe a little while walking through the streets of Madrid. Spain was doing you good and not once did you think about your wobbly friendship with Harrison. You've just left the restaurant when a few fans politely show up to take pictures with Tom. You couldn't help but smile at the thought of how kind Tom had always taken in a few snaps when his fans approached him respectfully - and there weren't too many of them -. You sighed with pleasure before stepping away from the group. You leaned against a wall and took out the packet of cigarettes that Tom had asked you to keep in your clutch bag. Being an occasional smoker, he wouldn't blame you if you took one from him. You tilted your head back to admire the dark starry night when you felt a presence by your side. You narrowed your eyes in mischief as you looked sideways: Harry was there, his nose wrinkled from your cigarette. He didn't like it too much Silence filled your bubble despite the hubbub outside. You were in public and it was not surprising to meet travelers and Madrid residents mingling with the crowd to enjoy this pleasant evening.

"I wish this trip never ends." You finally said, breaking the silence.

Harry didn't know what to say to that. Instead, he was just looking at you. You were a little tanned, the Madrid sun had done wonders on you; your loose hair framed your face and the summer dress you had chosen for the restaurant looked great on you: It was a short red floral summer dress with a shingle collar. Light enough to keep you from suffocating but decent to wear on any casual occasion. You were beautiful, stunning. His heart exploded at the sight of you, so much that it hurt a few times.

"I wish I had been there for you more." he finally confessed

You finally turned your head towards him and shrug your shoulders, smiling shyly but sincerely.

“You were working, Baz”

“I meant…not only here in Spain. I’m sorry to have let you down recently”

You give him a confused look. He hadn't been a bad friend but he kept implying it. You just shook your head negatively to brush his words away. Harry had always been important to you. He had been the first to step towards you. It was him who introduced you to the rest of the gang. He had always been concerned about you.

The night you met, you immediately clicked up with him. And to be honest, for a moment, you thought he liked you that night. But he never took that step towards you and you never did either. You dreaded that if you kissed him, he would think you were interested in his notoriety by proxy. So you just acted like any reasonable person would - accept the status he gave you. And the second time he asked you to join him with his brother and his friends, you met Harrison and your heart exploded.

"I'm glad you brought me here"

“I'm happy you accepted to come.”

“I didn't really have the choice, Baz” you joked.

He laughed slightly. You weren't wrong, he and Tom had practically dragged you onto the plane, leaving you no choice to be by their side. But you could only thank them, especially Harry who had the idea. You took another hit on your cigarette before leaning back to check out where Tom was with his fans. He seemed to be talking with the girls and didn't seem overwhelmed. So, you didn't want to interrupt him and were just going to wait for him to finish. Harry played with his hands nervously, looking straight ahead and then at you. He seemed to be repeating this game for several seconds before finally asking the question that was in his mind.

“Have you heard from Harrison?” Harry asked quite casually

“He sent me several texts to apologize and wished me to have a good time in Madrid.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

You swallow hard before looking at him. There was an indecipherable glint in his eyes and you weren't sure what to make of it. You drew another puff from your cigarette, maybe that would save you from entering this conversation. But Harry's presence was all around you and you couldn't really escape. So you've decided to be honest.

“It’s complicated. I suppose so...”

“Mhmm”

“But my friendship with Haz is important, I don't want to lose him because of it.”

“Yeah, you can't imagine how well I understand you” he sighed

“What do you mean? Who’s the lucky girl..or guy ?”

Harry turned to you frankly and you did the same, stubbing out the half-smoked cigarette. You are well aware that the conversation was taking a more serious turn. He moistened his lips and walked over to you. Harry was full of things: he was full-loving, sarcastic, talented, daring, impertinent. But Harry was mostly awkward when it came to love. Not just an attraction, no, love with real feeling. Delicately, hesitantly, he reached out to your cheek, stroking it with the back of his fingers, cautiously. You were frozen, your eyes fixed on him admiring his audacity.

"She's the most beautiful girl I ever seen." he said with a small smile.

Harry walked over to you and your heart was pounding at breakneck speed. Harry had ... feelings for you? You were really confused. Since when had he developed his feelings? Why didn't he tell you about it? Why hadn't he tried anything so far? So, were you right from the start? Was there a tension between you since the beginning of your friendship, since your met? But above all, did you want him to take that step? Instinctively, your body responded. You parted your lips and closed your eyes. You enjoyed the warmth of his hand on your cheek and were waiting for the touch of his lips. But it never happened.

"Hey baz, y/n..we're going back to the hotel" Tom said, taking his eyes off his phone. "I…Mhmm sorry, did I interrupt something?"

[chan-skz]

Going back the way we've come

Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Summary: You didn't want to go, but forced by your parents, you gave in. Your relationship with Hyunjin hadn't started very well, after reuniting years later, you realized that a lot of things had changed. but for some reason, you couldn't push him away.

Words: ~ 7.5k

Genre: Fluff, smut (around the end), slight angst

Warning(s): Making out, Oral (f receiving), Fingering, Kinda raw language, Semi-public, Light choking, Light overstimulation, Teasing under table

Note: This is part of the christmas collab I'm doing w/ @hanflix and many other writers. I tried my best to give it a holiday vibe, but I guess I totally failed hahah.

A/N: This is the longest fic I've ever written for now, and I also tried my best in writing it, so I really hope you'll enjoy it! English isn't my first language, so I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes or non-senses.

Your fingers tightened around the collar of your coat, the cold breeze gently hitting your face. You cursed yourself for not having listened to your mother when she insisted for you to take a scarf, arguing that it would be colder than usual.

"Fuck winter." You said when you got back under the shelter of the bus stop, collapsing on the bench next to your bestfriend, where he was sitting.

"Hi to you too, Y/n." Jisung laughed.

"Sorry, really not in a good mood." You said, glancing around, noticing that besides you, there were few other people waiting for the bus.

"Do you want to talk about it though?" He continued.

"Well." You began, sitting correctly on the seat and turning to him, announcing your long speech in advance. He knew you by heart. "I argued with my mom about a stupid decision she and my dad made. They want me to spend Christmas Eve with them and some old friends of theirs! Do you realize that? I don't even know them! She told me they had a son of my age and that I was bestfriend with him when I was younger, as that would some how change my mind. Christmas is supposed to be between families, not strangers."

"Are you done?" He asked when he saw you cross your arms against your chest and sigh even more on the bench. He was really trying to keep from laughing at your despondency. "It's not funny Sungie! I'm really serious!" You complained. "How did I found myself having to spend almost a boring evening with complete strangers?"

"You could come and spend it with me if you really don't want to spend it with your parents' friends." He suggested.

"Are you serious?" You asked, suddenly straightening up, hope shining in your eyes.

"Will your parents accept, though?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No." Your mother firmly refused.

"But why!" You whined through the phone, kicking your foot at the pile of snow in front of you, in frustration

"Because Christmas should be celebrated with the family, honey."

"Family.. We don't even pass it between real family." You whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes, before setting your gaze on your best friend who was still waiting for you at the entrance of the high school.

"It's not the same thing!" She exclaimed loudly through the phone, forcing you to move your phone away from your ear. "Do you really want to stay with them on Christmas Eve anyway?"

"But Jisung offered it to me! He even told me that his parents wouldn't even mind!" You exclaimed in your turn. "You yourself know how much they love me!" You added in hope that it will change her mind.

"It's still no, the discussion is closed." She concluded, before hanging up on you. You sighed in frustration, kicking one last on the snow pile before turning back to your best friend. You weren't in the mood it was clear.

"So?" Jisung asked as you approached him.

"She said no." You answered, walking past him to enter the school. "But don't worry, I'm going to keep pushing when I get home, she says the discussion is over, but I'll keep pushing the subject."

"You really don't want to spend it with their friends, do you?" Jisung chuckled when he saw how persistent you were.

"As they say, perseverance always pays off." You gave him a smile, letting him know you weren't going to drop the case that easily.

"Yeah, but I don't think that's gonna work." Before you could answer, a group of girls down the hall caught your eye. You glanced at each other in disbelief as you approached your group of friends.

"What's going on over there." You asked curiously, as you opened your locker to deposit your things in.

"Ah, just a new student." Jeongin just shrugged, not looking away from his phone, too focused on his game.

"Damn, he's this special to create so much enthusiasm." You continued, taking your books in your arms before closing your locker and leaning against it.

"I heard he was handsome, rich, tall. The pure cliché you know." Changbin added, earning amused looks from all of you. "What? I only rehearsed what I heard, I didn't even saw the guy yet."

"My only question is who would get transfered to a new school a day before winter break? It's so unlikely." You were curious to know who this new kid was, since he already had girls at his feet when it's barely been a day since he arrived.

"I really don't know." Changbin shrugged. "But I also heard he was from your hometown. You must know him."

"No luck, I don't even remember a lot of things from back there." You were still a little surprised that he also came from your hometown, but despite all that, it didn't change your opinion of him.

"Merry Christmas!" Felix came out of nowhere, dressing ridiculously in rudolph. Totally his type. You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his outfit. The day before, you all had agreed to dress in a holiday theme, but it was clear that someone surely hadn't understood the real concept.

"What the fuck, Lix." Jeongin said, finally turning his attention away from his game to judge his friend. "When I suggested yesterday that we could dress like it was Christmas, I didn't actually mean to dress up like this."

You kinda felt bad for Felix as he looked disappointed at the judgment of the youngest.

"Rah, you are so boring." Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest before pretending to sulk.

"Okay, pass me your red nose." You added, rolling your eyes as Felix's face lit up.

"It's good now?" You asked rhetorically, placing the red ball on yours.

"Looks like a real clown now. Your makeup wasn't enough, but with that nose you really look like one now." Jisung said amused, making the whole gang laugh, except you obviously.

"I swear to you that one day I'll kill you." You threatened him, hitting his forearm causing him to whine in pain.

"Ow- damn you hit real hard-"

"Y/n? Y/n Y/l/n?" A familiar voice called you out, making everyone turn around. You then suddenly found yourself facing a guy that neither of you knew. You surely assumed to be the new student.

"Excuse me, do I know you?" You had to admit that the fact that this tall guy knew your name freaked you out.

"Don't you recognize me? Hyunjin. We went to the same elementary school." The so-called Hyunjin indicated, making you frown at his words. But your brain still didn't seem to recognize him despite how hard you tried to remember who it could be.

"I'm so sorry, but you must be wrong on the person. I really don't know you." This time you raised an eyebrow and looked him over from head to toe. You couldn't deny that he was handsome, even though you didn't know him.

"He's from your hometown, there's a chance he's right." Chris pointed, once the guy had left. You sigh in exasperation. "I don't remember him anyway. So whether he's right or not, it doesn't really matter."

You threw yourself on your bed, almost screaming into your pillow in frustration. Again, you tried to convince your parents, but it was a complete failure like this morning. They were really determined that you go with them, even though you had made it clear to them that you didn't want to. You spent long minutes looking at your reflection through the mirror in your bathroom. Did you have to wear a dress and full makeup to go to a stupid Christmas dinner? Obviously, it was your mother who forced you.

The red dress she chose for you was quite tight and followed every curve of your body. But it was either that or nothing, since you would've been allowed to wear something more comfortable. Everything had to be perfect, you rolled your eyes recalling the words of your mother, and also of your father. You didn't understand either why you had agreed to wear high heels, your feet were hurting horribly and the freezing winter cold really didn't help your situation. It was snowing and you were forced to wear these heels anyway, that's how your parents exaggerated. Luckily, there was no ice, otherwise you would've tripped and humiliated yourself in the middle of the entrance. You were torn from your thoughts when the front door opened, and revealing a quite beautiful lady about your mother's age.

"Y/m/n!" The lady exclaimed with a big smile, softly giggling as your mother returned the same energy to her. She wasted no time to make you get in and hugging your mom and shaking your father's hand. Once you got in her facial expression only lit up even more.

"Y/n! Woah, you've grown so much!" She indicated by taking you in your arms too. "You've become so beautiful, I'm sure Hyunjin would agree." She said with a slight smirk. Hearing his name made you choke on your own saliva. You tensed, but managed to fake a smile, even though you were praying inside that you had misheard. Unfortunately for you, all your doubts were confirmed when you walked into the living room and found yourself face to face with Hyunjin.

"Damnit.." You cursed under your breath, when you came to sit on the couch in front of his and according to the face he expressed, he seemed to have heard you. Lucky for you, none of the other adults next to you seemed to have heard it. You could feel his intense gaze on you, and it lowkey made you anxious.

"Dinner's not ready yet, because we got too caught up at the last minute, so sorry." Hyunjin's mother laughed lightly. "I know the kids won't want to wait here all along, so maybe they could go do something else until it's ready."

If you could think that the night couldn't get any worse, you were completely wrong.

"Stop following me." Hyunjin suddenly turned as he walked up the stairs. Making you roll your eyes.

"I 'follow' you, because I have nowhere else to go and I would rather stay with you than stay with them for a second. Their 'good old days' really don't interest me." You crossed your arms against your chest, defying him with your gaze.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes, before turning around. His room was quite large, almost double yours. You made sure to sit in the opposite side of the room. You then found yourself sitting on the sofa while he was lying on his bed, both phones in hand. Your phones keep you busy, making you forget the awkward tension.

"How could you not recognize me?" Hyunjin suddenly asked, distracting you from the video you were watching.

"Do I really have to?" You looked away from your phone to focus on Hyunjin, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed and facing you.

"Did I change that much?" He said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"We knew each other when we were kids, now we are adults, what do you expect? I can't recognize everyone I was friends with in my childhood at one glance." You said in a mocking voice. "I don't even understand why you keep pushing so hard for me to remember you, but if you really want to, just show me what you looked like when you were a baby. It would surely refresh my memory."

You didn't expect that he would actually do it. But your eyes widened when you saw the little boy in the picture. You recognized him right there. Your heart pounded at the realization, but you tried to pull yourself together. It was stupid to react so exaggeratedly just because you realized you were facing your childhood best friend, your first love. Finally you didn't really know if when you were young you really loved him, because after all, you were still kids, the meaning of love wasn't real known, nor understood.

"Stop Hyunjin, you're hurting him!" You yelled at him to let go of your friend's sweater, Chris.

"No! How dare he touch you! Only I have the right to give you a hug!" Hyunjin frowned, looking at you before quickly looking back at your friend, who just let it go, finding his jealousy quite ridiculous.

"But I was the one who gave him a hug." You started, finding his possessiveness frustrating.

You couldn't help but have a small smile forming at the corner of your lips at the flashback of this event. And you couldn't control your teasing.

"So how's your jealousy? Are you still so possessive of a temper?" You said amused, expecting him to becomes slightly shy and sulky as you pointed out his toxic trait, but what you didn't expect was for him to smile and look down on you.

"Oh, why do you want to know that? Unless you want me to show you what true possessiveness is." He smirked, looking you up and down. Your own smile faded as he watched you closely, making you feel oddly exposed to him in that tight, cropped dress.

"What do you mean?" You pulled yourself together again and asked, raisong an eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't have thought you would've had so many guy friends." His comment frustrated you for some reasons. After years apart, as soon as you meet again does he really have to get jealous over the fact that you have a lot of opposite sex friends? You really didn't like it.

"Does it even matter anyway?" You asked insistently. At your reaction, Hyunjin's expression changed, becoming more nonchalant again.

"Nevermind." He got up from the sofa he was leaning on and went to lie back on his bed. You took advantage of him not looking at you to detail him. You couldn't deny that puberty had blessed him, making him not only beautiful, but also extremely attractive. His hair, which he had dyed blond, was slightly messy, but enough to make it look quite classy.

"Do you like staring at me?" He asked rhetorically, but as you were about to deny, he continued. "No need to deny it, the trickle of drool at the corner of your mouth is proof of that."

Seeing your panicking face, he laughed out loud. Quickly running your hand over the corner of your mouth, you finally realized that he was only messing with you from the start. As you opened your mouth to clap back at him, you heard your mother's voice calling you from downstairs, informing both of you that the dinner was ready. Hyunjin didn't miss the glare you gave him as you sat face to face at the dining table. He could've simply ignored it, but the little smirk that appeared on your lips worried him slightly. He had a bad feeling.

Your parents were talking and laughing with each other, paying almost no attention to you two, which gave you the best opportunity to tease Hyunjin. For his part, he was frustered when he felt something caress his leg. Looking down he saw your foot caressing his leg, he wasted no time pushing you away, finding the whole thing quite inappropriate as you found yourself at the table with both of your parents. But you didn't give up, in fact you were determined to make him restless. You restarted your gesture, but this time, taking advantage of his man spread, you deflected your touching on his crotch. You knew he was going to lose his temper at this action and your doubts were confirmed when he jumped at the feeling of your heel pressing against his crotch.

"Hyunjin, are you okay?" His mother asked, slightly worried. You could see a pinkish tinge forming on Hyunjin's cheeks and you had to admit he was so cute like that.

"And yes, y-yes. It's okay, I just banged my knee against the table, sorry." He managed to convince the others. After all, he wasn't going to openly say that you were touching his dick under the table. Stop that, he mimicked, his gaze changing dramatically to become more firmer, but it only made you keep going, finding his reaction funny and extremely entertaining. Suddenly he got up from the table, apologizing to your parents and pretending he wasn't hungry, so he could get away from that family dinner. Not wanting to be alone with them, you did the same, sighing in relief when you in turn managed to sneak out of that Christmas dinner. Except you weren't expecting to be tackled by a pretty angry Hyunjin from the moment you stepped into his room. You then found yourself stuck between him and the wall, his arms placed on each side of your body, blocking you from escaping from his grip. Besides his tall figure, which made him quite intimidating, didn't help your case.

"If you were so desperate for my cock, you should've told me." He said in a dangerously calm voice.

"What are you talking about?" You manage to say, completely confused.

"Oh don't be innocent. You really think this is a game, don't you? Do you think teasing my cock around our parents is fun?" You bit your lip and your eyes widened when he grabbed your hand and put it on his bulge for you to feel it, which was quite hard.

"You feel it? Now I'm fucking hard." He said in a long sigh of pleasure, feeling your fingers trace his length. He then leaned against your ear, his hot breath giving you chills.

"From the moment I met you again, I knew straight away that I didn't want to just be friends with you." You still couldn't quite assimilate the situation you currently found yourself in and it was only when he leaned against your ear to whisper those words to you with his deep voice that you finally broke out of your thoughts. Suddenly you pushed him away, forcing him to pull away from you and step back. He looked at you completely lost, not understanding your sudden action and to tell the truth, you didn't understand what had taken you neither. You couldn't deny that this whole situation had made you slightly aroused, but it was too soon. No sooner had you met again than you already found yourself doing dirty things? It was going a little too fast for your liking.

"That-that won't work, I'm so sorry." You avoided his gaze in embarrassment. After a few moments of silence, you finally returned your gaze to Hyunjin, who was now looking at you completely detached. And to be honest, his expression hurted you, but you tried to hide it. You knew you ruined your evening, that's why you decided to end up speanding it with your parents. It was quite boring, but at least it allowed you to escape the discomfort that would've been present between you and Hyunjin, if you stayed with him.

"And? What did you do?" Jisung asked excitedly. A few days later, you had wasted no time summoning Jisung, your best friend, to tell him what had happened to you. But no sooner had the story started than he was already feeling excited, obviously expecting you and Hyunjin to have done it.

"I pushed him away." You simply said, looking as if you didn't care about it. Even though a few days later, you were still mentally slapping yourself for pushing him away so coldly. While deep down, you wished things had turned out differently.

"What did you do?" Jisung repeated slowly, his excitement fading.

"I pushed him away and even told him that it wouldn't work between us." You closed your eyes, anticipating his reaction.

"Oh my god, I have never known a girl so stupid." Jisung said in exasperation. "You literally had the chance before you and you didn't even take it."

"I know!" You pouted. "It's just that I realized this when it was too late. I was in the living room with my parents, you really expected me to go back to his room and take back everything that I said and did to him?"

You concluded ironically before crossing your arms against your chest and sighing in exasperation.

"Well that was an option that you unfortunately didn't take and which could've prevented from finding yourself in this situation." He dramaticallyraised his hot chocolate cup to face, making you roll your eyes.

"I'm seriously starting to regret telling you this story and even offering to go out. You really aren't helping me."

"It's too hard not to judge you when you literally make so many stupid decisions, sorry." He said, chuckling at your annoyed reaction. "Ah, by the way, I almost forgot to mention it, but Changbin is throwing a new year party tomorrow and he told me to force you to come."

At the mention of a party, you whined. You didn't like parties, you preferred to stay at home, doing nothing, rather than partying among people you didn't know.

"Tell him back that despite you forcing me, I'm not coming." You said directly.

"Please, for once come on. And it'll help you to forget about your night with Hyunjin." Jisung begged you. It was very rare that you attended parties organized by your friends, one because you didn't like the vibe, but you also didn't understand the usefulness of getting high and drunk. But coming to think of it, not only did you want to forget the shit you had caused, but you also felt like getting wasted.

"Fine."

You scrambled through the room, the wave of dancing people glued to each other began to make you sick. Your glass in hand, you passed through all these people, until you finally got off the dance floor. You shiver slightly when you feel the light cold breeze brush your exposed legs. You were already regretting having put on such a short dress. It wasn't really ideal to go out so exposed, but it was the only evening dress you had.

"Looks like you're bored." Felix's deep voice surprised you, making you jump.

"Oh my god!" You exclaimed in surprise. almost dropping your drink. "You scared me."

You hit his forearm, making him laugh out loud.

"No, but seriously you look really bored." He said, calming down. You just nodded, it was true that you were slowly starting to regret coming. Your dress that bothered you, the alcohol that took too long to hit you, and the cold freezing were all the reason of it.

"Do you want to come with me play truth or dare? Changbin and the other boys were organizing it." He proposed to you, not failing to see you looking with disgust at the gathering of people completely wasted and grinding on each other. You accepted, telling yourself that it might change your mind. You didn't know this kind of game was still being played at parties, but you were curious enough what kind of dares and truths other players will throw themselves into. Obviously, you should've expected to see Hyunjin as soon as you set a foot in the room, which seemed to be Changbin's room, accompanied by Felix. Other than this one, Hyunjin and even Changbin, you didn't really know the other participants, but even then you cursed yourself for not thinking for a second that Hyunjin might be there too. You blushed slightly when you noticed him contemplating your body shamelessly. You thanked the lord for making the room a little dark, only a lamp on the floor on the floor litening the room.

"Y/n!" Changbin exclaimed with joy when he saw you, glad you came. Coming to hug you, only to ruffle your hair.

"Stop." You giggled. "You ruined my hairstyle." You pouted.

"Ohh, it's okay, you're beautiful the way you are." He said, making you blush. Changbin treated you like his little sister, his way to make you comfortable no matter the situation would always surprise you. Your interaction didn't go out of Hyunjin's attention. From the corner of the room he watched you silently, paying no attention to the girl beside him who was desperately seeking his attention.

"Are we starting or not?" Felix complained loudly, drawing attention to himself.

"We're just waiting for Jisung and Jeongin." No sooner had Changbin finished his sentence than your two friends entered the room, their arms laden with drinks.

"To spice up the game!" Jisung exclaimed as he placed the bottles on the ground, beside the circle you had formed. You had hesitated for a moment to sit down, your short dress really bothering you, obviously you didn't want others to have an easy view of your panties. You were then offered by Changbin his jacket to cover your lap, clearly having noticed your struggle.

"Thank you." You smiled at him, before kneeling on the floor and covering your legs with his jacket.

"Ok, we all know the game rules, right? But this time, if you don't want to answer the truth or don't want to do a dare, you're going to have to take two shots of vodka." Jeongin vaguely explained. "Okay, I'm starting."

He leaned over to spin the bottle, stopping in front of Changbin.

"Truth or dare." Jeongin asked with a smirk at the corner of his lips. It was in those moments that his inner devil was coming out.

"Truth." Changbin said. "I don't trust you enough to pick dare when it comes to you." He added suspiciously.

"What's your body count?" Jeongin asked, ignoring his friend's comment.

"Do I need to have slept with them?" He asked, waiting for the clarification of the younger. He took time to think.

"Then I think around 15, if not even more." He nodded. Hearing this number, you almost choked.

"15?! What the hell?!" You turned to Changbin, your eyes widening. "You better spill the tea, mr.Don Juan."

The game went on, you had to admit it was pretty funny seeing some people taking two shots of vodka and gradually get drunk just because they didn't want to do something, or even see some people do of ​​stupid things. Well, until Hyunjin's turn came and he had the misfortune of being told what to do by Jisung.

"Truth or dare, Hyunjin." He asked him with a smile, which the world that didn't know him might consider innocent, but knowing him very well, you knew he was up to no good.

"I guess, dare?" He answered.

"I dare you to make out for a minute with the girl you find the most attractive in the room." As soon as Jisung's words came out of his mouth, his turned gaze to you. You rolled your eyes when you had eye contact with your best friend. Seeing how the girl, who was sitting next to Hyunjin, looked quite pretty and looked so interested in him, you expected him to turn to kiss her. But you were a little taken aback, when he got up to approach you to kneel down in front of you, ignoring the complaints of the girl you think was one of his fangirls at school.

"Wait what?" Your eyes widened, completely lost. Your heart quickly started race up as you saw him lean towards you.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked quietly. You really didn't know what to add, you were literally wordless. Subconsciously, you started to nod your head gently, giving him your consent. When your lips touched, it was as if no one existed around you. The exclamations of surprise that other people around you were expressing went over your head.

Hyunjin's lips were soft, the kiss you exchanged was initially passionate, but the longer the seconds passed the hotter it got. Without thinking too much, you wrapped your arms around the older man's neck, pulling him closer to you, as he grabbed your hips. Too absorbed in each other, you hadn't noticed that the minute had already passed and it was only when Jisung called you out that you finally came out of your reverie, instantly detaching yourself from Hyunjin.

You blushed slightly when you felt a light trickle of drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, you pressed to wipe it off quickly with the back of your hand. Hyunjin, for his part, just licked his lips, giving you a smirk, knowing that this action would destabilize you even more. Clearing your throat afterwards, you for sure wanted to divert the attention others had on you, while Hyunjin, sat down next to you with a big smile on his face, not caring that all the attention was on you. After all he had finally kissed you, which he had wanted to do since the dinner with your parents, so nothing else mattered. Your thoughts wandered elsewhere as the game continued its course. You couldn't think of anything other than Hyunjin's lips on yours, his kiss had made you lose your head. Your mind was engulfed in unhealthy thoughts and it didn't take you long before you felt yourself being drowned by your own mind.

"I-I think I'm going to go." You huffed, feeling a pleasant, but quite uncomfortable heat growing between your legs. You were clearly starting to feel bad. You didn't give Changbin or Hyunjin time to speak as you got up and quickly left the room. The loud sound of the music playing backwards was much more audible once in the hallway, it's precisely at this moment that you could gradually feel the influence of alcohol washing you off. Luckily for you, you found the bathroom easily.

"Y/n?" You heard Hyunjin calling you, but you didn't pay him any attention to him when he hesitantly walked in. You were propped up against the bathroom counter, staring at your reflection through the mirror, it was easily recognizable that you were not feeling well. Your cheeks were red, your breath quickened and your eyes slightly narrowed.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, approaching you, but he resigned himself when he saw you stepping back when he tried to come closer.

"Stop playing with me." You finally said, turning to face him. You couldn't help but slightly laugh bitterly when he looked at you in confusion, obviously not understanding the meaning of your words.

"Seriously Hyunjin, what do you want from me." You rolled your eyes, "You tell me straight up that you want more than just a friendship with me, when it had only been one evening that we met again. Things have changed Hyunjin, I've changed, you've changed. We're not the same as when we were still children." He was silent for a moment, looking deep in his thoughts, before he resigned himself to saying something.

"I understand that we are no longer children. And from the moment I saw you again I understood it very well. You must think I'm talking nonsense, but just seeing you and talking to you again last time, I don't know why, i had the same feelings i had when we were young."

He stopped talking to approach you slowly, making sure first that you weren't going to distance yourself from him.

"I'm very serious. I'm really not trying to play with your feelings, nor you in general." His gaze reflected a slight sadness. He was genuinely afraid of being rejected by you, even after his speech.

"How could I believe you?" You asked, hesitantly whether you should take him seriously or not.

"If you give me a chance, I swear I could prove it to you." You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words. You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it immediately, you really didn't know what to say. And he looked pretty determined.

"I hope you're not going to make me regret it then." You manage to say. At your answer, his face lit up. He was anxious that you would reject him, that you would tell him that his 'confession' was absurd, but he felt a huge weight off his shoulders at your words. His gaze wandered over your lips for a few seconds, before he glanced quickly behind him.

"I-" He started slowly, looking suddenly slightly embarrassed. "Can I kiss you?"

His question made you smile for real this time, finding his reaction rather unexpected and ironic, given of what had happened earlier.

"Really, Hyunjin? You literally kissed me in front of dozens of people and now you're getting all embarrassed." You teased him. "So cute."

At your last comment, his expression changed dramatically. Suddenly, he leaned over and grabbed your chin, forcing you to lock your eyes with his.

"Me, cute?" He tilted his head to the side, his gaze languishing in your face, as if to memorize every detail. "You sure about that?" All trace of embarrassment had disappeared from his attitude. He looked more than serious and you couldn't deny that you liked this new facade of him.

"Why don't you show it to me then?" You didn't know where that line, or even that daring, had come from, but you didn't complain when Hyunjin's lips rested on yours for the second time that evening. The kiss was way more intense than the one you had shared earlier. Hotter and more eager. You gasped in surprise as Hyunjin grabbed you by the back of your thighs to lift you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. Your dress, which was already short, rose at this gesture, giving him easy access to your ass. Placing yourself on the bathroom counter, you were slightly disappointed when he pulled away from you, breaking your kiss. You looked at him with puppy eyes, as he turned around to close the bathroom door and lock it.

"Just making sure we won't be disturbed." He smirked, taking full notice of your desperate look. He wasted no time before stepping back between your legs, his lips joining yours for a warm kiss once again.

"Fuck, you don't know how many times I've fantasized about being like this with you since the last time." He whispered in admiration, as he kissed the path up to your neck, where he teasingly bit your soft spot which he found easily. You suppressed a small moan at his gesture, your fingers venturing into his long curls and pulling them gently. You could tell he liked it by the deep moan he made.

"You left me so hard when you ran away last time." He straightened up to look at you straight in the eyes, the sheer desire burning through his gaze making you feel in a certain way you could describe as sinful.

"I was afraid I had done something wrong when you pushed me away. I even felt bad for getting so excited after you teased me under the table in the presence of our parents." The tone of his voice clearly reflected nostalgia.

"But don't feel bad. I just panicked at the time." You smiled at him, passing a hand on his cheek to reassure him.

"And if I'm being honest, the situation got me excited too." You confessed shyly. Your revelation relaxed him slightly, but also boosted his confidence.

"Really?" He asked rhetorically, stroking your thighs with his fingertips. Your heart race increased as he rushed to drop hungry kisses down your collarbone, wasting no time slipping your sleeve, giving him a perfect access to the base of your breasts.

"Fuck.. Please..." You moaned, wiggling lightly against him, begging him for more, which made him smirk in satisfaction. You were as desperate for him as he was for you.

"My baby is so impatient. So sweet." He chuckled, visibly enjoying seeing you so hopeless for him to touch you intimately. It didn't take him long before he decided to finally slid his hand between your thighs, easily finding your clit, his fingers rubbing it so skillfully.

"I can already feel your wetness." He bit his lower lip, his dark eyes focusing on your face contracted with pleasure. You were so beautiful.

"Lay down." You were torn from your little cloud of pleasure again, when he removed his touch from your panties to remove it entirely, exposing your soaked pussy to him. You leaned back as he ordered, leaning back against the mirror behind you and opening your legs wide for him to give him an easy access to what he wanted the most right now. You knew seeing yourself so exposed and vulnerable just for him, hugely turned him on. The visible bulge on his crotch being the proof.

"You look so fucking good, baby." He said, licking his lips, obviously pleased pf the way you were already dripping just for him, when he barely touched you. Not breaking eye contact, he knelt between your legs, gripping your thighs to keep them firmly open, before languidly licking your cunt, stickinf his tongue inside of you. Your fingers found his hair again, gripping it tightly when Hyunjin suddenly began to suck on your sensitive swollen clit. You couldn't stop a few moans from escaping, even though you were trying the best you could to not to be too loud. Your hips subconsciously bucked against his face, forcing him to wrap his arms around your hips so that he could stabilize you moving too much. He intended to make you scream his name with pleasure and he wanted to do it the right way. You felt like you were losing your mind when the way he was eating you out changed, getting much more rougher and hungrier. He then suddenly slipped a finger, then a second, inside you, touching your weak spot with every pump and strock of his fingers.

"Hyunjin.. Too much.." You moaned, squirming more and more under his grip on you with each of his moves. Your thoughts were clouded with pleasure, dizzying your mind. You couldn't think properly anymore, only your orgasm, that you could feel was getting closer and closer, was the only thing you could think about. The tension, which you could feel building in your lower abdomen, exploded as Hyunjin once again eagerly wrapped his lips around your clit. Your eyes rolled back, as your orgasm washed you away, making you moan loudly in ecstasy. Seeing you come around his fingers and his mouth didn't make him stop his movements. You had to beg him to stop when it got too much for you to handle. His mouth and chin were almost dripping with your juice, giving his lips an delicious shine. You felt empty when his fingers slipped off you, but you ignored it, straightening up quickly and pulling him back into a sloppy kiss, where you clearly tasted yourself on his tongue. Your hands were hanging from the waistband of his pants, which you delicately untied during your erotic exchange. You desperately wanted to feel his cock, which you could feel was already hard enough, between your lips and at the very thought, you could feel your pussy getting wetter than before.

"My good girl is so desperate for my cock?" He whispered between your lips, the sudden nickname and the hand that came wrapping around your throat made you feel much more excited and eager for him. You moaned slightly in contentment at the pleasant feeling he made you feel just by his actions and presence. You went to answer him, but was cut off by what happened outside.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!" The loud mixed voices of people still partying echoed throughout the house. At this understanding, you looked at each other for a few moments, before involuntarily bursting into laughter.

"New year, new girl, which means new resolutions. That's all I can say about it." He said, giving you a wink full of innuendos. Blushing, you couldn't hide the smile that crept onto your lips.

"I think it's the same for me then." You declared in admiration in your turn, matching his vibe.

"Good, because I have every intention of making up for the lost time." He whispered seductively. "In every sense of the word." His last words gave you shivers of anticipation. You knew you were in there for a long ride. After all, maybe the special connection you had as a kid hadn't changed at all.

[natromanxoff]

25 - Just Chatting...

Hello one and all.

It's been a long time since I graced these pages and, believe it or not, nothing much has been happening in my life, apart from the odd soiree or two. Winter has finally left us and spring has sprung, and it's nice to see the sun again. Let's start by wishing my old mate a happy birthday and I hope you all had a little drinkie for him, I know I did. In fact I got legless, he would have been proud of me. Whenever we were in London there was always a party at Fred's on his birthday, be it a handful of friends, or one where he invited half of Britain, but which ever one it was there was always a good time to be had and a lot of chaos. One year he actually took over Pikes Hotel in Ibiza and chartered a private plane to fly his friends in. Roger and myself were already on the island recording some of his solo stuff so we didn't have far to travel to the bash. When I say we were working, it's kind of true as we spent a lot of time on his boat "Ga Ga" whizzing around having lunch and fun. The party was held outside around the swimming pool, now is that an invite for trouble or what? There were hundreds of balloons hanging from every available fixture, and of course there is always an idiot that thinks he's a clown. This particular clown, who will remain nameless, decided it would be funny to light one of the balloons, and needless to say the whole lot went up in flames. Phoebe and Crystal to the rescue. We had to get this "fire" off the wooden rafters before the whole hotel went up in smoke, so we were pulling bits of string while burning rubber was dripping down on us. I was so traumatised by the whole event I had to have another drink ....... a lame excuse I know, but hey, it's my story. Back to the pool. Edwin Shirley, of trucking fame and also an all round good guy after a few too many, decided to have a swim, so he removed his clothing and was flapping around the pool when some daft countess told him to get dressed and behave himself. Wrong move lady. Edwin was not impressed by his telling off and threw her in, and she was even less impressed with that and started ranting and raving, much to the amusement to the rest of the party hounds. She left with her tail between her legs and didn't look at all glamorous in her soaking wet dress, running makeup and failed hairdo. We continued till mid morning and went straight to the airport and caught a flight home. Thanks F for the great parties and good times, you will never be forgotten.

I still get asked a lot if I'm gonna write the "Real" story about Queen. Well the answer is no, and the reason is that the guys gave me a great job and a great life and I have far to much respect for them, their wives/girlfriends, children and families to tell the world what we got up to in private. I feel that is our business and ours alone. Most of us are all in relationships and telling tales could make life awkward for a few people, band and crew alike. I'm sure at some point in time someone from the organisation will write a book, have 5 minutes of fame and make a quick buck, but it sure as hell won't be me, and I'll still be able to sleep at night and when I see the guys I will still be free to say, "Wanna beer MATE."

I've had a few questions asked me that I'm gonna answer quickly.

First off is "Do you have any stories about Freddies cats? (ripping furniture etc.)" Here's a good reply, No. So moving right along, "Of all the famous people you've met, who impressed you the most?" Tricky one this. After years in this "Biz" they all become "Just normal people," and some become good pals, but on one occasion I was in Paul McCartneys studio and I was handed his violin bass and I was sitting there holding it when someone said, "Paul is left handed, hold it like he would." When I turned it around, still taped in the cutout was the Beatles set list from their days in Hamburg, now that impressed me.

Deaky and myself were the only two reggae lovers in the outfit, and Bob Marley turned up to see the show at Madison Square Gardens. Strange choice of show for Bob, but he loved Another one bites the dust, and he happened to be in New York on a stopover on his way to Germany for laser treatment. Show time and our intro tape was playing, and someone told JD that Bob was in the audience, so he cranked his bass up and played "Lively up yourself" over the tape. This was very possibly the last time Marley ever heard this played as he died shortly after. I didn't get to meet him, but I did get to meet Tyrone Downie, Bobs keyboard player in the Wailers, and Tyrone and myself got up to all sorts of mischief that night. RT on the other hand hates reggae music, but I did manage to drag him to the Circus Krone in Munich to see Peter Tosh. I loved it, he hated it. I look at this as payback because years before he insisted that I went to Hammersmith Odeon to see Laurie Anderson, of O Superman fame. This show he loved, but I put it alongside Cher as one of the worst concerts I have ever seen. Needless to say I have also met a couple of stars that I didn't see eye to eye with. Like the American rock star we encountered in a club one night, and he was such a pain I had to take him into the toilets to have a quiet word with him. He finally got the message so I released my hand from around his neck and let him drop back down to the ground. To finish this segment I wanna tell you something that Bev Bevan said. Bev was the drummer with ELO, and them and us were touring the US at the same time, and as it turned out, staying in the same hotel in one city. Roger and myself were leaving the hotel and waiting for the elevator. When the doors opened Bev was in there and him and RT said their hellos. Rog then said, "Bev, this is Crystal, he looks after me." Bev turned to me, shook my hand and said, "Pleased to meet you. If it wasn't for guys like you, guys like us wouldn't be where we are today." He didn't need to say that, and was genuine when he did. I wasn't impressed with meeting him, but he is certainly in my top ten of nicest people I have ever meet.

Over the last few months I've spent a lot of time in the Chatroom, and I highly recommend it to you all as it can be a bit of a laugh. For anyone who has never visited the room please remember a couple of things, if you come in and start swearing you will be kicked out. I know, it happens to me all the time. Also don't come in and start going on about knowing axemen and murderers and other such garbage, cause that also warrants a kicking. Some buffoon from Ireland, who went by the name of "Death" turned up with an attitude and was going on about how f***ing awesome Queen were at Slane Castle. He was not known by anyone in there so I asked him to watch his language. He said he was the Grim Reaper and could do and say what he liked, so I told him otherwise and he was most put out when I kicked him. What a fool. A while ago there was some prat who called himself F***queen, good name eh! Anyway, he/she/it was picking on a lovely young lady called Raisa, and was saying some awful things to her and completely freaked her out, so I went to her defence and FQ turned the attention my way. As far as I'm concerned it's only letters on a screen and it didn't phase me at all, but at least he/she/it gave up on Raisa. In all fairness to FQ, whoever you may be, he/she left a message on the Bulletin Board saying sorry to Raisa and myself and would never do it again. So FQ, from the both of us, thanks for the apology, we accept it. What other weirdos have we had? Well, there was a brightspark who decided it would be funny to use the nickname QueenRshite, another bad move from this person who was honoured with a ban.

While in there I've seen a lot of friendships made, and a couple that have fallen apart. I got a private message one evening from a very drunk girl who, how shall we phrase this, offered me her body and wanted to do all sorts of naughty things to me, I thanked her and declined...must be getting old or something. I have also witnessed relationships being made and, usually there is a lot of humour involved, but needless to say some arguments do occur. I have also seen some of the daftest things said. One guy was so convinced that one of the regulars was either Deaky or she was chatting with him in private that he actually started tracking her every move on the net. He also told me about some highly illegal activities he was up to concerning the band. I wouldn't have thought I was the best person to tell such stuff to, and needless to say I had a go at him. Just to add to his stupidity he's been recently boasting about his affair with an underage girl, and I reckon if he had any more sense he would be half witted. Having mentioned all the twits I'd like to say a quick hello to all the regulars, White Queen and Killer Queen, the lovely girls Blue Rock and Rannnnnnni, SQJan, Mayflower and her boys, Farookh (aka Leroy Brown) MarshMallow, the three Tigers - Babe, Lily and Stripes and the mighty Falc, also to all the rest who I haven't mentioned by name, you know who you are. I'd also like to say hi to Daddy Cool who is the singer in the Dutch cover band Miracle, and Dad, if you never make it as a singer you could make a great career from being a stand up comedian. Finally an extra special hello to the gorgeous MTB, who is about to make an honest man of me ;)

Before I go I'm sure I don't need to remind anyone of a certain date in November that is engraved in all of our minds. And I know that a lot of you will be heading to Garden Lodge to leave flowers. I don't wanna preach and tell you what to do, and I know flowers are a nice gesture, but they do die and the only people to really benefit from this is the florist. This year lets all give a donation, no matter how small, to Aids research, this way the cash will be used to try and stamp out this awful disease. If you really wanna leave flowers, buy a smaller, cheaper bunch and donate the balance of what you would have spent to these charities. It's been said a million times before but it is true, Every penny counts.

As always, Loadsa Love.

Crystal