#been spouting out so many new headcanons and so much new stuff for them

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

When you wake up WAAAAY too early because the brain decided that 6 hours of sleep were enough and you put Youtube on and the first song that comes up is the one from the voiceclaim you have chosen.

AND YOU ARE TOTALLY UNPREPARED, SO YOU JUST MELT DOWN ON THE SPOT.

BECAUSE.

FEELINGS.

And literally sit down, with a cup of coffee in your hands and just sigh in elation because this song it's just truly perfect for my darling cinnamon rolls.

What can I say? I am in a truly romantic mood lately (when I am not too tired to even be able to think, that is), and the brain has been hijacked by my Notre-Dame Clan. <3

But I cannot complain, not in the slightest! <3

--Nemo

[paintbrushnebula]

Ghostflower Headcanons

As romantic gestures, Miles loves setting up these elaborate (if a little overkill) activities for Gwen to do, whether it's a special occasion or just. whenever feels like it. They're always these elaborate treasure hunts that he'll set up for her to complete. Like for Valentine's Day--Gwen never stirs in her sleep, so he'll surround her sleeping form with lilacs and peonies all around on the bed so she can wake up basking in their scent. Then this gesture will be somehow tooled as the first clue in this elaborate scavenger hunt across several dimensions, each stop being a cute little romantic gesture like a lovely written note or souvenirs from their times together. He'll have like, puzzles that require playing music or reading scores to move forward in the hunt. And Gwen LOVES them. She likes adventures and the ones Miles orchestrates for her always involve her having to use her many talents. She kinda sees Miles' games as a sweet, fun way of staying sharp. ^_^

Miles will mindlessly rub his face against Gwen's cheek whenever when he greets her or bids her farewell after a long day. A lot of people find it a little strange lol, but know better than to judge Miles in front of Gwen. 

Ghostflower's petnames....so Miles sucks at pet names. He can't think of any good ones besides whatever he's heard his Mami say to Jeff (so just the usual "mi amor.") Mamita works for her too. But aside from that, all the typical English pet names (so like "honey," "sweetie," etc) just feel weird coming off his tongue, he thinks they're cringe and he hates saying them XD. Besides there's just something about how much he loves saying Gwen's name. He loves her name. It's like music to him. And every new time he says it makes his heart flutter more than the last. Gwen's pet names for Miles on the other hand are very... eherm...varied. Like she does use all the typical English pet names, but she'll also randomly spout some very creative names that have to do with situations they're in or objects she just saw or smth, I hope I'm explaining this right 😭 So for example, "my weighted blanket" (if they were just sleeping), or "cupcake brain," "coffee bean," "my bespeckled cheekster" or some other stupid thing she randomly comes up with on the spot XD. 

Gwen is big spoon but Miles will jump off a bridge if Hobie finds out

Lol in fact, a lot of how Gwen treats Miles (fluffy pet names, cuddling him) is stuff Miles never wants Hobie to see XD. So picture Miles melting into Gwen on the couch while she runs fingers through his hair, then Hobie walks in and Miles flings himself right out of Gwen's arms, sitting up straight and clearing his throat, "aherm, wh-whassup' man." And like, Hobie probably wouldn't even give a dang XD. But Miles feels the need to keep up this... intimidating "not some feeble gumdrop" reputation around certain spiders like Hobie, Miguel, and now Peter B, etc.

Gwen hates the heat, she always has to have the AC on or at least a fan in front of her. Sometimes both. But Miles is very sensitive to the cold. So this becomes a dilemma when they're in the same room. Then it breaks out into a back and forth "no it's okay, I can turn it off/No it's okay! I can just put on a jacket!" Eventually they'll reach a compromise: Gwen can have the AC, but she has to cuddle Miles close so he can keep warm. 

Miles likes to paint or draw on Gwen a LOT. Like it basically becomes the norm Gwen's their friends and family to see her walking around with what appears to be temporary "tattoos." Sometimes there'll be "Miles x Gwen" in graffiti-styled lettering on her shoulder, or little spider-man chibis with little speech bubbles, or a jumble of illustrations of places they've been to, lyrics from songs he likes, and just colorful geometry painted all around her arm like a tattoo sleeve, or sunflowers on her cheeks, or just random lines and shapes here and there on her knuckles, arms or jawline. Miles will paint on her whenever he has the chance, whether she's in conversation with a completely different person, or she's doing work, writing, eating-anything. She always lets him, she loves it. And when they're alone and he's drawing on her, they'll sit in a comfortable silence the whole time, it's very...entrancing for Gwen when they're alone in a quiet room and he's hardly making any noise while she feels markers and paintbrushes dancing across her skin. 

[nagitokomaedapizzasuitarchive]

please talk about syo or komaru or syomaru for the ask game, your takes are always so correct ( ˊ u ` )b

WAAA THANK YOU.. ;; /pos I will do all of them tbh... just give me a minute so I can make them separate posts (this one is so, so long as-is). In the meantime:

Syomaru

[click here for ask game link]

When I started shipping them:

Same time as Tokomaru. Tokosyomaru has always been a package ship 4 me. With that explained; this frame from UDG is what I credit as the straw that broke the camel's back (apologies 4 the yt screenshot I just can't be bothered to try and get a new one myself):

[ID: A YouTube screenshot of the cutscene that occurs after defeating the giant Monokuma final boss of Ultra Despair Girls. Toko Fukawa is holding Komaru Naegi by the waist, who is in-turn holding her megaphone gun in a partially ready position. Toko is to the right of Komaru, and they both have angry expressions on their faces. There is a red background with action lines on both the left and right of Komaru and Toko. End ID]

If I told you Syomaru blogger sho-fukawa spent up until the final boss fight of UDG telling themself they wouldn't ship the Fukawas with Komaru would you believe me? Bc that was my experience AJNDJNKGK-

My thoughts:

Rabies Pride catgirl (Syo) x Rabiosexual (Komaru) /j

UJADNIGNSJK joking aside it's soooo hard to articulate my thoughts on these 2 they're just a massive comfort ship 4 me... They can have such a wonderful, supportive relationship 'nd I like 2 think they lean on each-other a lot when Syo fronts. Soft kisses 'nd cuddles and whatnot. <3

What makes me happy about them:

Projection stuffs primarily? Very much love thoughts abt Syo being protective over Komaru (I have sooo many animation ideas when it comes to that one confrontation scene w/ Nagito I am not kidding I have Syomaru disease), and Komaru bringing out more of Syo than their "serial killer w/ jokes" exterior or w/e I kinda forgor canon. /lh

Oh also and in non-personal thoughts I think this is forever the screenshot of all time:

[ID: A screenshot of Komaru Naegi and Syo Fukawa, taken from the Danganronpa 3 anime. Syo, who is on the right, is holding Komaru's hands up and smiling with their eyes closed to the camera. Komaru seems to be whining, mouth open yet frowning with her eyes closed. End ID.]

What makes me sad about them:

Barely any time together in the source media. I will forever complain about how Syo & Toko's DID in general is just used as a punchline in Danganronpa, and how underutilized & underdeveloped that ends up leaving Syo. Also correct me if I'm wrong (it's been a minute since I've played through UDG), but that also leads Komaru to be written as not rlly distinguishing between Syo or Toko. :( TLDR: I haven't and never will trust the writers. <3

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Poor Syo writing 10000%, usually when people stick wayyyy too much to the "hyperactive serial killer" part of it. I don't have strong opinions on Syo being written still as a murderer like in canon, some people don't want to rewrite the canon whatever that's probably just a me-preference (if interested I can make a post talking abt my Syo headcanon thoughts later since I don't think I've ever talked abt it), but it is soooo annoying when people still leave them one-dimensional. I don't caareee if you think 1000 lines of "KYEHEHEHE" is in character you literally are not writing them with any emotions they're a flat cardboard stand that's spouting profanities. PLEASE just write Syo more like an actual individual.

Things I look for in fanfic:

If the last bullet point didn't make it obvious; good Syo writing. In general I'm not too picky with fanfic? I avoid coffee shop AUs & such and try to find works that aren't 200 words written out of character (no shade 2 new fanfic authors it's just hard 2 read), but that's not rlly specific to Syomaru. If I had to pick at my own interests: Stuff where they're protecting or caring for eachother in Towa City. Lot of material you can get out of that + I'm a sucker for one character being protective over another in a tense situation.

ALSO write Syo being soft or purring I am holding fanfic authors at gunpoint. /j But seriously Syo is all bark and no bite; they can dish out joking aggression and still be soft.

My wishlist:

No clue what OP meant with this bullet point tbh AJSDNJKSFGN. Oooo I need Syomaru plushies ooooo- /hj

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Not Men™. Also I am very much uncomfortable with Syo x So//nia personally. Other than that I don't have many strong feelings.

Picking from my polyship w/ them, my alternatives would be Syo x Kyoko and Komaru x Miu x Kaede ??? Komaru's is much more "I have no reason for this other than I think it sounds super cool" but I am a secret sucker for Toko/ Syo x Kyoko, I think it could be an interesting dynamic depending on how you play it out. A win for nblw everywhere.

My happily ever after for them:

(Post-Despair) Komaru helps Syo get a more positive relationship with the other survivors of THH, also very-specifically helping Syo be on more amicable terms w/ Byakuya and Nagito, two people who they're probably not gonna ever fully be alright around. Syo & Komaru mostly just live on their own: maybe being visited a lot by Makoto & Kyoko (this thought lying in a Naegiri universe) and potential children those two might have after the world settles to more of a normal; allowing Syo another close bond with someone. Ignoring whatever work they may have, they would mostly spend their days with each other, cuddling in silence or trying to work on some sort of project together. Sometimes Komaru will leave Syo home alone so she can visit Makoto, but she usually will bring Syo with if possible since Syo doesn't get to front as frequently as Toko. I hope that all makes sense.

[echo-of-sounds]

adhd pt.2

How Fatgum, Gang Orca, and Midnight would help and support their s/o who has ADHD. Midnight’s are a little shorter than the others. I had a hard time thinking of more headcanons for her.

Warnings: nothing incredibly explicit, but a couple of these talk about sex

Toyomitsu Taishiro

Tai is a friendly guy. He talks to everyone when you're out and about. Sometimes it's fine. Sometimes it's a lot to handle. He wants you to immediately tell him when you’re starting to feel overstimulated or anxious. Before it gets too bad, he’ll carry you to a safe space. And it doesn’t matter where you are, his sweatshirts are yours. Weight can be very grounding and with his size, they’re very heavy. He’ll hold you close and talk you through the emotions.

Any time you lash out, he might try to ease the tension by making a joke. If you’ve ever been angry, you know jokes just make it worse. He’ll give you time to gather yourself when he realizes you’re actually angry. He won’t snap back. Fighting isn’t what he wants to do. Take some time to cool down. You’ll find him waiting for you with a smile. It’s hard to get him angry and it doesn't hurt his feelings when you lash out, but you should still apologize. He would appreciate it.

Feelings overwhelmed can erupt suddenly. When you sit down at your desk and there are five notebooks, scattered pens and pencils, loose papers, and just useless junk everywhere, you feel completely engulfed under them. It’s almost like you can’t breathe. You don’t know where to start or what to do. Tai will set some time aside to help you sort through your stuff. He may not know exactly where everything goes, but he really wants to help. He hates the look on your face when you’re overwhelmed and he’ll do anything to make it go away.

Lack of restraint and risk-taking behaviors are the most concerning to him. Sure, impulsively buying a dumb stuffed animal is one thing. But buying a new gaming system and four video games is another. The costs add up quickly. Or maybe you take another shot at the bar because screw it, you only live once. Then you do that over and over. ‘Just another shot’ turns into ten more. Your safety is always his number one priority and he worries himself sick thinking you’re going to damage your finances, career, or worse, yourself.

If you didn’t catch what he said, he has no problem repeating himself. Though he worries you aren’t paying attention while you’re in public or when something important is happening. He doesn’t want you mindlessly agreeing to something that you don’t actually want to do or potentially getting hurt. Like how you fling your arms out when you’re talking and hit someone or a wall. To ease his anxiety about you, he’ll hold your hand a lot and offer to give you piggyback rides.

He has a little trouble focusing on smaller tasks as well. He would much rather be doing fun activities out in the world. So he understands your trouble. He also understands how you forget to vacuum even though you promised you would. He isn’t annoyed. He’ll remind you when you’re home to do it. 

Since Tai is such a big guy he taught himself to be gentle early on in his life, particularly when it comes to sex, therefore he isn’t worried if you have sexual hypersensitivities. He's also great at communication and loves talking. He’ll ask what positions you can’t do and where you don’t like to be touched to ensure your comfort is at its max. During sex, if your attention starts drifting, he’ll let you take over to help keep you focused.

Gang Orca

Kugo’s a clean, organized man. To him, it’s helpful knowing that everything has its place. If you leave bowls and books around or are an overall cluttered person, he’ll pick up after you. Eventually, when your clutter gets to be too much, he’ll create a routine and a to-do list. Before bed, look at the list and look around the room if there are any pillows to put back on the couch or papers to straighten out.

Having physical sensitives is something Kugo can understand. While it’s not to the point he’s overstimulated like people with ADHD have, his skin is still quite sensitive- more than your ‘average’ human skin because of his mutant-type quirk. Whatever you need for self-soothing, he can bring to you when you’re starting to feel overstimulated. Your favorite heavy quilt will be wrapped around your shoulders and he’ll light some vanilla candles.

He’s utterly unbothered by tapping, fidgeting, or restlessness. However, he’s deeply concerned when he notices blood on your lip or fingers. It’s mindless. You don’t hurt yourself on purpose. No matter how many times you explain, it won’t quell his worries. He just really hates seeing you bleed. Out in public, he’ll hold your hand to stop your picking. At home, he keeps a close eye on you and points out your unhealthy habit so you can find a fidget toy or a pen to click. He hopes if he does it enough times it’ll become a subconscious reaction for you to grab a toy to play with instead of your body.

High mood swings and anger are easy for him to take. Your quick snaps go in one ear and out the other- mainly because he knows it's not about him. While he understands the frustration comes at the flip of a switch, he strongly urges you to find ways to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. He’s willing to listen if you want to talk it out. He’s willing to go to the gym if you need to exercise it out. And (if you’re at that point in the relationship), he’s willing to have sex if you need to fuck it out. 

Kugo loves listening to your interests. He supports any and all of your studies. Are you currently into a new TV series? He’ll buy you posters and action figures for surprises on your bad days. Or is the Viking culture suddenly fascinating and you need to learn everything about it? He scoops up some obscure book from that bookstore he passes every day. Even though his presents might not be exactly what you’re looking for, his excitement and passion to support you is really cute.

Focusing on smaller tasks is incredibly difficult. You strain yourself then get frustrated then give up. Seriously, that one piece of paperwork should take ten minutes tops to complete. But it ends up taking over two hours because you just can’t sit and do it. Whenever he notices you fussing at the table, he’ll sit down with you so you can go through the paperwork together. Having someone next to you is helpful. They keep you on track and guide the way through the long passages of words and seemingly confusing questions.

He's uneasy when it comes to any sexual sensitivities. It takes him a while to be ready for sex in general, but if you’re hypersensitive, it’ll take him a hell of a lot longer. He’s so scared of hurting you, especially since his fingers are more like claws and his teeth are sharp. He tries his damnedest to be gentle because he’s always scared that he’ll overstimulate you to the point you’re crying. Your sexual relationship will start with oral and fingering, plateauing at that for a while until he convinces himself he won’t hurt you.

Kayama Nemuri

Thoughts that bubble up and instantly spout from your mouth are common. Half the time you don’t even realize you spoke. Nemuri will be a little miffed if you keep interrupting her. She doesn’t want to forget her train of thought. She knows you have difficulty controlling it but she would appreciate it if you let her finish her sentence so she can fully listen to and understand yours.

Fidgeting and squirming don’t annoy her. She’s a Hero and a teacher. She’s become desensitized to all sorts of restlessness. Though she is in the same boat as Aizawa in that, if you’re a clicker or tapper, she’ll ask if you could find something else to fidget with. But she won’t snap at you as he may. She has a serious soft spot for her partner and rarely raises her voice.

However, those times when your anger gets sparked because your lotion bottle broke or you thought you had more of your favorite chips and you lash out when she asks what’s wrong, she’ll get defensive from time to time and might snap back. It depends on how long her day was and how tired/stressed she is. Most of the time she can reel herself back, realizing you’re not angry at her. But if she had a hard day, her retort comes quickly and sharply. It’s enough to make you pause, recognizing how you reacted to her simple question. When you apologize, she will too, wanting to make up as soon as possible.

Her quirk is quite convenient for overstimulation. If you give your consent, she can emit a tiny amount of her aroma to relax you. If you need serious instant relief, she can put you to sleep. But she won’t rely on her quirk every single time. She doesn’t like completely knocking you out. Any self-soothing techniques you use, she’ll read about and work out ways she can provide you with what you need.

Nemuri will have to change her outlook on sex a little bit. She’s very dominant, loves being the active partner, and dips (more than a little) into sadism. But she’s experienced. She’s aware her kinks aren’t always liked. Before you’re ever intimate, she’ll sit down with you to set clear and defined boundaries about what you can take. If pain is something you can’t handle or just don’t want, she’s fine without it. Her love for you is more important than her kinks. 

[taboofables]

CP2077 OC ask game *:･ﾟ✧⚔️🤖🔮 [x]

PERSONAL.

1. what is their full name? do they have any nicknames? what are they and why did they get them? Vincent Laszlo Toth. Everyone just calls him V because he doesn’t like getting too personal. But if he feels comfortable around you he prefers to be called Laszlo. He’ll tell you himself  

2. how old are they? how long have they been living on their own? 28 as of 2077. He’s been living on his own for 10 years since he joined Arasaka

3. what are their astrology signs? sun/moon/rising. He was born on June 10th 2049, which makes him a sun Gemini, moon Libra and ascendant Virgo 

4. what tarot card from the major arcana would you associate with them? The Fool, the Hanged Man, Death

5. are they religious or spiritual in any way? Neither but his experience made him think of many things and he’s coming to a sort of spirituality in his own way 

6. which of the four elements would you associate with them? Fire for his inner strength and transformation through action 

9. which of the nine alignments are they? (lawful good etc) Chaotic neutral 

10. which of the myers-briggs personality types are they? ESTP

11. do they have any cyberware? is it cosmetic or is it weaponry/armor? Circulatory system: Second heart; Frontal cortex: Ex-Disk; Arms: Projectile launch system; Ocular system: Kiroshi optics; Cyberdeck: NetWatch Netdiver Mk.5; Integumentary system: Subdermal armor; Skeleton: Titanium bones, Bionic lungs; Legs: Fortified ankles 

12. what is their occupation? Arasaka’s personal lapdog? He’s not sure yet because he does a bit of everything but his competence in weaponry and hacking earned him a good score in the eyes of Saburo and Hanako Arasaka themselves. Sorry Goro & Oda 

13. if you were to choose a class for them, what would it be? Combat netrunner

14. what is their weapon of choice? M-179 Achilles precision rifle, Malorian Arms 3516 gun

15. what is their preferred vehicle or transportation of choice? Villefort Cortes Delamain no.21 & Yaiba Kusanagi CT-3X.  Depends on his mood and how fast he needs to arrive

16. how would you describe their style? He’s a shameless looter and wears only the best from his fallen enemies :)  But mostly it’s neomilitarism

17. are they a early riser or a night owl? Night owl. He can adapt but at any given chance he stays up late and wakes up late

18. share three songs you associate with them. Devils Got You Beat - Blues Saraceno Nu Disco Remix Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff Jonathan Davis - Walk On By

NIGHT CITY.

19. is your character from night city? if no, where were they born? what brought them to night city? if yes, what area of the city did they grow up? Charter Hill, Night City. It’s a corpo district, relatively new. Used to be a nice place until everyone with big pockets got the hots for North Oak. Now it’s just the most affordable comfort area for mid-level corpos

20. where do they currently live? describe their home. He currently resides at the Arasaka Family Compound outskirts of Tokyo. It’s a huge ass fortress in a feudal style, beautiful and old-fashioned. He has a simple but spacious room in a traditional Japanese style with a futon mattress. He loathes it & most of the people around but at least he gets fed well regularly, and he enjoys spending time in a cherry grove garden 

21. do they have any favorite spots around NC? A garden in the Glen, he found it refreshing

22. do they like to cook for themselves, or eat out? do they prefer restaurants or street food? and how do they feel about vending machine food? He doesn’t like vending machines and enjoys the food served at the Compound, even if it seems exotic to him. But occasionally he eats street food to remind himself of his past life

23. do they prefer the city or the badlands? Stone jungles all the way. He was born in the city and he doesn’t get the appeal of dirt, sand and wind

24. what gang/faction/corporation do they align with, if any? Arasaka. He always thought it was more promising than Militech despite his parents’ lectures. His fate within the company wasn’t always good but he worked hard to prove himself. In some twisted way it did pay off

25. which radio station(s) is their favorite? He switches between Pacific Dreams, Vexelstrom, Samizdat and Morro Rock

26. if they do merc work, do they have one dedicated fixer? if so, who? Not really but he enjoyed working with Rogue. Johnny was right, she is the best. Her charisma is unmatched

27. have they ever had run ins with the badges? He prefers not to attract attention even if he has corpo immunity

28. are they quick to help a stranger in need or do they prefer to stay out of other peoples business? Depends. If stranger seems to be innocent then he might, but if V smells they brought it on themselves he won’t lift a finger for them

29. do they have any favorite celebrities that frequent or live in NC? how would they feel meeting them? V isn’t into celebrities. His closest experience to meeting one would be abduction of Hanako Arasaka. It wasn’t part of the plan and at first he thought he screwed up even worse than before - she was his former boss’ daughter at the time and he was practically begging her for help. But for some strange reason she reached out to him more than once so maybe he wasn’t so terrible

RELATIONSHIPS.

30. is your friend a social butterfly or more of a loner? Not exactly a butterfly but certainly not a loner. He socializes well but currently the world of top-level managers makes him feel out of place. Not a lot of people to connect to and it’s suffocating

31. who are their closest chooms in NC? Jackie was. Now it’s Viktor Vector and Misty but he hasn’t seen them in a while

32. do they have anyone they would consider family? Judy and Panam as they went through a lot together and supported each other

33. what is/was their relationship like with their parents? They are Militech managers so they weren’t happy when he chose Arasaka. They don’t communicate ever since

34. do they have siblings? He has an older brother Andras ‘Andy’ Toth but he hasn’t spoken to him for a while either

35. how would you describe their relationship with their family? Estranged

36. who is their biggest enemy? At this point anyone The Arasakas point their fingers at

37. tell a short story about your character with their best choom. Not exactly a story but V regrets never telling Jackie how much he affected his life. Jackie was a real force of nature

38. do they have a love interest? if so, who? He might... But he’s completely oblivious to his feelings and she’s way out of his league. It’s Hanako Arasaka

39. are they in a committed relationship or do they date around? They’re not and they don’t

40. has your character ever been in love? if so, with who? Once, with another corpo girl at Arasaka long time ago. It didn’t work

41. do they believe in soulmates? No, he believes in luck and mutual efforts

42. do they believe in love at first sight? He heard about it but it never happened to him and he doesn’t believe he can fall for someone just seeing them for the first time. You literally don’t know them at all at this point. He believes that love is a mutual investment and work

43. describe their ideal date. At this point it might be something as simple as watching sakura trees blooming. Small pleasures of life

44. would your character ever get married? If he had more time to live then maybe, theoretically. If he could be with someone special and circumstances worked in their favor

45. what was your characters first impression of their partner(s)? Not a partner but rather a love interest. He thought that Hanako handled herself well given the overall situation, and even was arrogant as fuck. Maybe that’s why she impressed him, it left a mark on his memory. I mean, you kidnap someone and they pretty much insult you? Fuck yes, no gift wrap is required

46. are they open about their relationship or low key? how would other people feel about them together? They’re not in a relationship but if they would be then it’d definitely be low key. No one should know, otherwise it may create serious problems for both

47. share a headcanon about your character and their partner(s). He likes to take and touch things from her table when he’s pensive during their conversations. Occasionally he spouts self-made haiku when the mood strikes him and boy - he’s terrible at it

48. share three songs you associate with your character and their partner(s). Chris Isaak - Wicked Game Jonathan Davis - Basic Needs The Rolling Stones - Anybody Seen My Baby? Hikaru Utada - Heart Station

NSFW.

49. name three of your characters biggest turn ons. Nice derriere, beautiful eyes and maturity

50. name three of your characters biggest kinks. Not taking clothes off; Voyeurism; Footsie

51. do they like having multiple partners or do they prefer monogamy? When it comes to a relationship he’s fully committed but he hasn’t been in one for a long time

52. do they watch porn or braindances? Both but BDs beat porn. He doesn’t do it often though

53. would your character ever make an explicit braindance? No, he’s not interested and not in a position to make one

54. do they have any cybernetic enhancements that serve sexual purposes? No

55. do they have a preference for ‘ganic bodies or do they like modifications? He doesn’t care much as long as he likes the person. Organic bodies are soft and warm, they give different kind of sensations. But he’s not picky

56. name three of your characters biggest turn offs. Low IQ, overly sexual behavior, manipulations

57. what is their ultimate fantasy? or ““secret”“ kink? Don’t ask because he won’t tell you even if his life depended on it. It’s bending Hanako over her piano and giving her a hard fuck, and once they’re done it’s breathing heavily in unison against her neck, their hands holding each other, her golden fingers leaving bruises on his thighs afterwards

58. would they ever use any substances like aphrodisiacs, alcohol or drugs during sex? No, he prefers natural sensations. At least as long as his nervous system is working properly

59. what is their wildest sexual experience? He accidentally almost drowned once during sex in a bathtub

60. are they more submissive or dominant? Dominant

61. does your character need to have an intimate relationship with someone to have sex? or do they prefer being unattached? That depends on a situation. Intimate relationship heightens the effects but aren’t necessary to derive pleasure

62. has your character ever participated in group sex? No but he received invitations

63. do they like to sext or play over the holo? Yes, if there’s a appropriate time for it

64. has your character ever ghosted someone after a sexual encounter? Yes

65. how would they react if they were ghosted by someone they like after a sexual encounter? He’s already been ghosted by Meredith Stout and he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. It’s unpleasant but why focus on something that doesn’t work if you can find more opportunities?

66. do they prefer kink oriented sex or spontaneous passionate sex? If he had to choose then it would be the latter 

67. how do they get down on their own? quick and easy or do they have to romance themselves a little? Quick and easy, all he needs is imagination and a shower. Just don’t disturb him

68. in what outfit do they feel sexiest? how do they dress to impress? Anything that’s clean, fresh and comfortable to wear

69. do they like having music on while they have sex? share three songs they’d play while getting down. He never tried it with music but he’s always open to new experiences and suggestions

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 512

Looking for a way to spend Mother’s Day? Well, we here at Outlander have the perfect idea! Celebrate with the women you love by watching us gang rape grannie!

This episode is like the perfect storm of everything that is wrong with Outlander. The cast and crew saying it’s their strongest episode yet when it’s basically artsy gang rape. The CYA trigger warnings when the story would have worked perfectly well without including yet another rape. The kool aid-drinking fans yelling at and acting holier than thou at the fans who rightfully call out the massive problem this show has with rape and assault. The fans yelling at other fans because It’S iN tHe BoOk so it has to be included. The fans yelling at other fans for wanting to follow the books but not wanting rape every 0.5 seconds. The fans yelling at other fans to fuck off if they don’t like the show. The women in the cast throwing out trigger warnings while the men are radio silent or wanting the gladiators to face the plague and fight for their own amusement. It literally has everything.

And I am tired.

I’ve been in this fandom for six years and have had quite a journey. From first discovering the show and immediately devouring the books. The honeymoon period where I could headcanon out all the problematic bits. The getting deep into the fandom nonsense. The getting out of the fandom nonsense. The judging the fandom nonsense because it’s funny and they’re all idiots. The getting sick of the fandom nonsense because it’s not even fun to judge the dummies anymore. The becoming more and more aware that it’s impossible to whistle past the problems in the books and the show. The sticking around, holding out hope things might turn around and the initial magic could be recaptured. And finally, the giving up.

The books are trash. The show is trash. There are a handful of good scenes in each which can be enjoyed on their own, but as a whole, holy shit this stuff is not good. (Seriously, I tried to do a Fiery Cross reread before the season started. I started like a year ago and am still only at Jocasta’s wedding because I just don’t care enough to actually get through it.)

Which brings us here. I am tired. I have already ranted and raged and yelled and swore and wrote far too many words about the gratuitous overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. It fucking has its own tag for fuck’s sake.

So here’s a recap. And then I think I’m done looking at this show in detail. Not because the idiot fans insist on coming to my notes to tell me to fuck off if I don’t like the show. Not because the crew are condescending douchecanoes. Not because the author is a misogynist garbage heap. But because spending an hour of my time for a few weeks out of the year to write these things isn’t worth it. I did it for as long as I did because it took so little time. So why not? But yeah, it’s not even worth that tiny commitment anymore.

And to the people who I know will @ me about how no one was forcing me to stick around and I could have quit any time, yeah, no shit captain obvious, I know that. Fuck off already. I stuck around because I really liked the little corner of the fandom that I’d found. I made some awesome friends. Most of those friends have since quit the fandom. I’m really glad to have them in my life outside of this little corner of the internet. And it was a fun writing exercise. I don’t really like the show anymore, but I enjoyed building an argument about why I don’t like it and think it’s bad that has valid points behind it. Especially considering how blindly overly adoring a bunch of the fandom is about it. But now I think I’d rather consume Outlander content as pretty people in pretty period costumes in gifsets. Or like, on in the background but not really paying close attention. Why not quit altogether? Because to quote the great Ron Swanson (I’m halfway through a Parks rewatch and I just love that show a lot ok.), I can do what I want. And besides, there’s like a fucking library’s worth of fics that I haven’t read and have been meaning to. And I like the characters enough to want to keep reading about them in stories that are better than the canon. (Bless you fic writers, blesssss.)

So. Was this whole ramble self-indulgent and overly serious for a fucking TV show? Absofuckinglutely. But please see the aforementioned Swansonism.

Alright, fuckos. Let’s do this.

This is a Roberts brainchild, isn’t it. *checks credits* Yup. Knew it. This feels very much like a Roberts special. In that he is probs quite pleased with himself but like, it’s crap.

Yes, we ARE doing ANOTHER rape story! But look! It’s a disassociation montage! It’s the ‘60s, get it?! There are callbacks! An orange from the king in season 2! A vase from season 1! A rabbit from season 3! An amber-looking dragonfly! Jamie with the young hair spouting off book lines! ApPrEcIaTe MuH aRt! We are so good at finding new and creative ways to rape our characters! Fuck off, twatwaffle. You are the worst.

Like, does Roger feel left out at this point? He’s only been hanged. Literally everyone else has either been raped, been sexually assaulted, or been threatened with rape and/or sexual assault.

“But it’s not gratuitous! Look! They’re all so different! Jamie’s was overly graphic and he got a half a season to brood about! We manged to not show much of Fergus’ (but still showed a thrust) because he’s a child and it was just a plot device for Jamie and not actually about him! Mary’s was about Fred! Claire’s with the king was about Jamie! Jamie’s with Geneva was shot like p0rn! Marsali being threatened by the sailors was to motivate Fergus! Bree’s was about the other people in the room and Roger! Claire’s really has no purpose because she’s already been kidnapped and beaten, and that is super traumatic, and we’re gonna wrap it up with a bow by the end of the episode!”

This fucking show, guys. This fucking show.

Bonus points* for the Black character spouting off the superstitious stuff.

*By bonus points I mean this show, and the books are absolute shit on matters of race. The books especially.

The cast and crew have 100% heard everyone’s thoughts on the overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. And their response has been to include more and more of it. We had a whole season of one character’s arc being about her rape and literally as soon as that was resolved, they gang rape another character. It really does tell you as much as you need to know about them. Lazy. Fucking. Cowards.

Kidnapping not enough trauma? Let’s add some gang rape! Gang rape not enough trauma? Let’s add visualizing that your daughter and grandchild are dead! Just like Fred died! This show really brings trauma p0rn to a whole new level.

Called the Bree and Roger shit.

This scene with the men rallying to go save Claire is like another layer of fuck you. Bree, you stay home, men, give your hero lines and let’s have a getting ready montage. Because your hero moment is what this is really all about. And your manpain about killing someone. *screams into a pillow*

The petty side of me is happy that it was Fergus and Young Ian who are with Claire when they find her and not Roger. Her two sons...

Why yes, I am judging all of the fans who like get their panties all wet over Jamie being like “It is I who kills for her.” Like “yeah go ahead and rape and beat Claire within an inch of her life if it means the big strong man gets to come in and save her and say something intense.” Fuck off and go take a hard look at yourself and what that says about you.

“Was there an Indian there?” “Nope, he wouldn’t help you because LiOnEl but somehow was able to peace out when it was in his interest. Because he is as bad as the ones who actually raped you.”

The Bree and Claire hug makes me both sad and angry. I want to hug them both and take them out of this fucking place and tell them that they’ve been done dirty and deserved fucking better from the writers.

Glad Marsali gets in on the hug. Claire’s two remaining daughters.

Claire’s “I have fucking survived” speech is like the one time she she actually talks about herself not in relation to a man. It’s about her. Claire. HOWEVER! It is epically fucked up that a woman needs to check off all the trauma she’s endured to show she’s a strong character.

So. Fucked. Up.

The fact that we’re spending time on Roger’s manpain about killing someone also really tells us a lot about the show’s feelings toward women. Yeah, killing someone is a big deal. It’s normal and expected to have feelings about it. But the juxtaposition of Claire’s speech about all of her traumas with Roger being like yeah, I killed a guy who had kidnapped, beaten and raped your mom is like, read the room, bro/writers.

The fact that the men put Claire’s rapist in her surgery, her space, her place of healing, where she is able to be most herself, makes me want to punch each and every one of them in the throat. Like seriously. Fuck each and every one of them.

Also Lionel is like cartoonishly terrible. Not that nuance has ever been this show’s strong suit. But like come the fuck on.

Marsali killing Lionel is the one thing about this episode that I didn’t hate. The men are all like “We kill for Claire! Let’s all rally in this montage and go do the manly thing of defending the woman!” Marsali is just like, yeah, that’s my Ma you fucked with. She shows some agency. She doesn’t do it in a performative way for the other men or for Claire like the guys do. She just knows this fuck needs to die, knows it’s gonna be hard for her and might damn her soul (don’t worry Marsali, all that religion crap is bullshit), and does it anyway.

Marsali’s arc has been my favorite of this whole fucking series. The one bright spot I was hanging on to all of this season especially.

Her quick scene with Jamie doesn’t bother me like Roger’s does. Because Roger is like oh no, I killed a guy! Can you forgive me? For killing a rapist? Like fuck off, bro. And Marsali is like yeah, I killed a guy. I hope I’m not damned for it, but the guy needed to die so I did it.

Also like, Richard had potential to not be cartoonishly bad. But like nope. “He reaped what he sowed, but cLeArLy I’m gonna need to escalate this further. Because manly men can’t let shit go.”

Fuck all men, tbh.

*googles how to emigrate to Themyscira*

Jamie’s speech that’s like supposed to parallel Claire’s can fuck all the way off. Giving him the last voice over just underscores how this was all about men. Not Claire. But the men. Fuuuuck everything.

Look! Everything’s fine again! Back to normal! Peaceful for a bit! With a cheesy af on the nose storm coming! So you know something bad’s coming! In case you forgot!

And Jamie got a book line. So it’s all good now.

And don’t worry about Claire, y’all. She feels safe now. Her and Jamie fucked it out.

It’s amazing, in retrospect, that I ever let this story suck me in so much.

Happy Mother’s Day! See you on the other side of the hiatus.

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Of Aliens and Alpha Centauri: Space in Good Omens (1/3)

. So just yesterday, in one of the many discussions of Alpha Centauri and the practicality of our two favorite disasters running off together, @theniceandaccurategoodomensblog raised the perfectly valid question: “Why are we assuming there are no aliens?” And I said I had a lot of thoughts on the subject. This meta is the result of those thoughts and questions.

Broadly, the question of whether or not there would be aliens comes down to “what is the purpose of all that space in the Good Omens universe?” Everything we see is focused on Earth and the creation and destruction thereof, which, when you consider the scale of the whole universe, is really not that Big a story at all.

But the treatment of space is a little different depending on which version you use as your source material. If you try to combine the book and the TV show, you get some contradictions.

So I’m going to tackle each separately, starting with the book below the break, pulling together all my observations and thoughts on What does Good Omens really have to say about space?

I’m not going to do this on a strict schedule, but I have three parts planned and will post them as I find the time to write them!

(Source: I’m a huge sci-fi nut and think way too hard about everything, but I’m not any kind of expert. Other insights and comments are 10000% welcome.)

Good Omens Book

The book has, perhaps, the simplest approach to space: it’s barely mentioned.

For those unfamiliar, there is no mention of Alpha Centauri, or running away, or Crowley helping create stars/nebulae/whatever it is he made. Unless I missed one, all references to space in the book are:

The Earth is a Libra (p.17)

Crowley’s amazing drunken rant about the bird and the spaceship (p.54-57)

Adam and The Them talking about aliens and how aliens are now all about peace and harmony and being some kinda space cops “They all have this bright blue light around ‘em and go around doing good. Sort of g’lactic policemen, going round tellin’ everyone to live in universal harmony and stuff” (p. 156, part of a slightly longer discussion)

Newt meeting aliens who talk about peace and harmony while being some kinda space cops (p. 197-199)

That’s it; Crowley (then Crawly) doesn’t even ask about putting the Tree on the Moon, the line is instead “why not put it on top of a high mountain or a long way off?” (p.10).

Just because it’s simple, however, doesn’t mean we can’t learn a great deal.

Humanity has watched the stars for all of our history; they can be used to navigate, to tell time; the constellations are used to record stories; astrology attempts to make sense of the chaos of everyday life through the motions of heavenly bodies. The motions of the stars and planets has been calculated and recorded for as long as we’ve had enough knowledge of math to do that (so ancient Sumeria and Egypt, and by ancient I mean 4-5 thousand years ago), while less predictable events such as eclipses and comets have been taken as  ill omens or signs of Heavenly disfavor.*

The prevailing model in the West was geocentric (Earth in the center) and contained what we call the “Heavenly Spheres”; Earth was a globe surrounded by clear layered spheres, and across each sphere one of the seven planets moved in its predictable track. (The seven planets were: The sun, the moon, Mars, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter and Saturn - a planet being defined as a “wandering heavenly body that does not follow the fixed course of all the other stars”). Beyond all these was the final sphere, containing all the stars like a painted ceiling, and all moving together, rotating around a point near Polaris, the North Star.

The stars were predictable, but mysterious, unexplainable - but they existed to serve the story of mankind because why else would they exist? 

This mindset carries into Good Omens - at least the book, and probably the Radio Drama as well (I haven’t heard it in ages, but I don’t think it deviated from the major points). The universe is vast and huge and filled with “loads of buggerall” (p. 56) - Aziraphale’s comments confirm that, at the very least, angels and demons are confident that the universe is a vast vacuum (matching our modern ideas of cosmology) and also that it has a physical end somewhere (due to the way space-time curves, this might not necessarily be the case).**

And yet.

All these vast loads of burgerall are slated to be destroyed along with the Earth, aren’t they?

It certainly seems they were created at the same time. We know that there had only been “rather more than seven” days as of the start of the book, and that “rain hadn’t been invented yet” (p. 9). The language suggests not only that Earth is a new thing, but that there isn’t another planet out there that already experienced days and rain. Crowley, at least, believes that God created the whole universe (p. 373) and there seems nothing in the book to contradict this.

As for Armeggedon, it’s referenced as the “final test” and as “testing everything to destruction” and so forth (p. 48). At the final showdown on the airbase, Metatron refers to the great plan of a world lasting six thousand years (p. 352), and again this could refer to Earth only, or it could be the universe as a whole. In fact, as a general rule, the book simply conflates the earth and the universe, as if they were the same thing. And they are. Much like in the more Medieval and Classical worldview outlined above, there could be lots of stars and things out there but they only serve as a backdrop to the real important things going on here on Earth. Everything was created at the same time, and the only reason it might not be destroyed all at once is if the winning side decides they like the view and want to keep it.

The only hint that there might be more to the universe than Heaven, Hell and the little stage for their cold war (Earth) is the appearance of the aliens to Newt.

And yet, what are they described as? One is “stubby and green,” the one that talks to Newt is “a yellow toad dressed in kitchen foil...wearing the kind of mirror-finished sunglasses that Newt had always thought of as Cool Hand Luke shades” and the third is “a pepper pot.”

Two aliens as designed by a child, one clearly doing some vague Space Cop look, and a Dalek. The ship itself “looked like every cartoon of a flying saucer Newt had ever seen” (p. 197). I never ever got the impression these aliens were anything other than figments summoned from Adam’s head, spouting buzzwords he’d seen in New Aquarian (acid rain, albedo, polar ice caps) while acting like cops do in movies. And their message “We give you a message of universal peace and cosmic harmony an’ suchlike” (p. 198) - the “an’” instead of “and” is one of the distinguishing marks of how Adam and The Them talk. This is another one of his stories and games, played out on a much wider scale.***

My primary conclusion here would be that aliens cannot exist in the Book!Omens universe. The universe is the backdrop, Earth is where the real drama plays out. The universe has only existed for 6,000 years, not nearly enough time for other life to have evolved separately. God could have created life on the other worlds, but there is no indication that this ever happened, that there are other playgrounds on which this fight is being acted out - Crowley and Aziraphale never even consider the possibility that they’ll be reassigned elsewhere. It’s Earth, and then eternity in Head Office, no other options.

Book Omens: Other Possibilities?

I do think there is one alternative possible for Book!Omens: if we are willing to throw away the strictly supernatural elements of the book, it could be re-envisioned as a sci-fi story, in which God, angels, and demons are actually super-dimensional aliens who, by Clark’s Third Law, are sufficiently advanced to be indistinguishable from actual angels and demons. I refer to this as the Stargate Interpretation.****

More accurately, God would have to be the super-dimensional being, and would have created the Earth as a place to let the story play out; the angels and demons are then direct creations who buy 100% into the narrative they are given. Everything else can still exist - Lucifer rebels because of the same reasons, takes along all the unsatisfied angels, Heaven and Hell are only concerned with Earth because that’s all they’ve been told to concern themselves with. Their afterlives exist still, but only because humans were created to fit into that system.

Meanwhile, literally anything could be going on in the rest of the universe. There could be alien races thousands of years older than the earth. There could be galactic empires. Who knows? Not people on Earth. Our world was isolated from all that by superdimensional shenanigans.

But, and this is important, in order to maintain the illusion, angels and demons must be kept as much in ignorance of all this as humans. Might lead you to question the power of the being with the Ineffable Plans if those plans only extend to the edge of the solar system and don’t even go particularly far back in time.

Now, do I think this is the best headcanon for the book? Nope. This is a supernatural story, the threat of Heaven and Hell is so looming and menacing because there’s no other force out there, nowhere to appeal except the “higher authority” that isn’t, apparently, listening, and there’s no option to escape just by relocating to a new world. I think trying to force the Stargate Interpretation on it would diminish the story, and I really don’t think it’s what the authors intended at all.

However, I also think this would make for a very interesting fanfic in the hands of the right writer. Book Aziraphale or Crowley suddenly discovering that the scope of Head Office’s powers is much more limited than they’d thought? Who knows about this - have the Archangels and Lords of Hell been covering this up to keep the lower-level angels and demons from rebelling? Would their “miraculous” powers still operate the same on these alien worlds? Are there other beings out there more powerful? Or going the other direction - are there other worlds also playing out their own little pantomime of Eden and Armageddon? Are they created by the same God, or other members of the same race, and what are the implications either way? Does each world have an Aziraphale and a Crowley, or is the main GO world the first to screw up the Apocalypse so badly they survive it - and what is the implication of that?

There’s a whole lot of scope for interesting AUs out of this, and I’d be rather surprised if no one has written any, seeing as the book came out thirty years ago. (If any are available on AO3, send us links - this sounds a bit niche, but I’d love for fans to be able to find these!) I would consider them AUs though; the default assumption of the book is no aliens and including them is a deviation, just as adding in Hogwarts or Charles Xavier’s school while keeping everything else the same is a deviation.

However, in the TV series, space is certainly more present in the narrative, and the Stargate Interpretation doesn’t work as well. Can we reach any clear conclusions? I’ll attempt to find out in my next meta!

(Too important to footnote: We know that Atlantis vanished (p.372) so most likely Adam’s aliens did as well. There is, still, the possibility that they continued to exist after the end of the world. I think their somewhat shoddy appearance and very cliched dialogue suggest the aliens would, at best, continue to cycle through similar interactions to what we saw with Newt until Adam either “deactivated” or “updated” them. What would they do then? Did he create entire races and homeworlds for them or - as I rather suspect - did he just make the one ship full and then move on to the next?)

-- Footnotes --

*Note: the math for predicting eclipses has also existed for thousands of years, but was more difficult for ancient cultures to confirm because only a fraction of eclipses are visible from a certain spot. Several ancient cultures were eventually able to work out the pattern, notably ones that either ruled over a lot of land or else had good information exchange with their neighbors. Comets took a LOT longer, and indeed as late as the 16th century many believed each comet was unique and traveled linearly through the solar system, never to return. Edmond Halley (working partly from observations by Isaac Newton) was able to demonstrate that comets did in fact orbit the sun, and predicted the return of the comet now named for him in 1758. He also was the first to observe and describe the proper motion of stars, that is, the fact that they don’t actually travel in one large fixed group. 

**Also, I find it delightful that, along with thinking dolphins are fish, Aziraphale says the bird crossing the universe would need a generation starship - which as a sci-fi trope has been somewhat out of fashion since the 1970s, in favor of faster-than-light starships. This alone says volumes about his taste in literature and science.

***The fact that the alien refers to its own message as “one of them pheonomena” (p.198) - a term Shadwell uses - does suggest that Newt’s own imagination is filling in the gaps left by Adam.

****Just gonna go ahead and out myself as a lifelong Stargate fan don’t mind me. That said, Terry Pratchett also explores a world made in this style in his pre-Discworld novel, Strata, which contains a flat world in a sci-fi setting, where everything operates according to a medieval worldview. It is a fascinating read, not least for the inclusion of several elements that would later find a permanent home in the Discworld series. If you can find it, read it.

tagging the commenters who said yesterday they would be interested:

@sarahthecoat​ @ineffableove​ @akawestruck​

[at-the-exd-of-everythixg]

][Love-ly headcanons for Wulf][ 💔 || 💌 || 😍 || 💋 || 💏 || 💍

@blind-mutant

💔: talk about a time your muse's heart was broken. what happened, and how well have they bounced back?

Wulf had been dating this boy in his teens (aka around 68) and had even planned on giving him an apple themed dessert (I imagine you give apple flavoured things as a way of asking big stuff where you give an actual apple for something like engagement). But then the boy had broken up with him and a week later Wulf found out that his boyfriend had been cheating on him with the pottery maker's daughter.

It took some time, but he eventually got back from it well enough. Though Wulf still and probably always will have a harder time passing the shop or seeing his ex's face every now and again.

💌: if your muse could write a love letter to mine, what would they say?

Rhys,

I have taken the liberty of finding someone to transcribe my message for you in brail. Partly because I want you to have this message at your reach for any time you may need it. And partly because I would not be able to survive the ordeal of reading my heartfelt words out to you in such a manner. You deserve to have sweet and tender words at your disposal, when I am incapable of saying it or disposed at the time being. You deserve to have a part of me with you at all times, no matter if the distance between us equals to being across a room or being across a realm.

Because this is what my letter equates to you. Rhys, you are blessed with the looks worthy of Mani the moon god, with all the bite and passion of Sol the sun goddess and the wolves of Ragnarok. Your grace and charm are stronger than Alfheim and yet when you smile and say something witty, it feels as if I am at war with the trickster god of the giants himself. My love for you would survive anything and I would take a plunge into Helheim if that would make you smile, if I could be granted one last sight of your face and give you the realm you deserve to own.

It makes me weep at times to know of your hard way of life, the fools who have perceived you to be lesser, simply for the gifts Odin has bestowed upon your essence. You've lived a life worthy and harder than the dwarfs of Svartalfheim and one day shall be willing to fall upon my knees and beg the king and queen for a chance to grant you your rightful place among the gods. For now, I shall devote myself to you and stay by your side until the bifrost itself tears me away from the bright beauty that you hold with such a sensual vigor.

Yours entirely and forevermore,

Wulfsige Björnsson.

😍: have they ever been head-over-heels for someone? how do they react when they are in the presence of someone they adore?

Wulf tends to be a bit head over heels for anyone he begins to date if I'm honest. Rhys in particular makes Wulf float his hair up more to look nicer, even if Rhys can't see it. He also definitely starts subconsciously using his powers to make himself lighter so that Rhys is able to drag him into a hug and to physical stuff much easier.

Wulf saves the best food for Rhys when he comes and will often let Rhys have some of his ale as well as hair clasps from Asgard that are probably worth a grand in Midgard. Wulf does not react with anything but sweetness if Rhys sputters over the fact that Wulf has just given him a comb with real gold and actual emeralds implanted. There's also the fact that Wulf absolutely spoutes the sweetest poetry and gives Rhys thicker clothing in the winter. He tends to be a bit much honestly.

💋: tell me about your muse's most memorable kiss. who was it with, why was it memorable?

It was with the lead of the battle guards just after Wulf had finished his trials and finally been accepted into them. They were warriors who were destined to fight in the war of Ragnarok and it had been the night he was accepted that the leading guard had walked up to Wulf and tilted his chin up before capturing him into a heated kiss.

It was the same night of the orgy but it was kiss that made Wulf feel special. It was someone who he admired for such a long time finally noticing him, welcoming him into a family of men who were one day willing to die for their fellow warriors. Other men and women who were so willing to give up their lives for the good of the realms one day and that kiss was the tilting moment of it all. Wulf still kinda does have a crush on the now-war general of Asgard. Better not tell Rhys!! Or maybe do >:3.

💏: what is your muse's ideal partner like?

They have to be free spirited and willing to go with any wild breeze that can turn something into a different direction, yet know when to keep a hold on good morals. It's a conflicting ideal of strong solid Asgardian wants and Wulf's own wants as a wind rider. Though after coming to Midgard Wulf tends to jerk his head at Rhys and settle for saying, "hnnh" when asked about it because his real power is being a giant cheese.

💍: how would your muse propose?

He would take Rhys out on a horse ride, leading him to a giant field with plenty of shade provided by the trees as well as snacks and alcohol because he knows Rhys wants the treats. Then, Wulf would give a sappy speech about Rhys and their time together before getting down on his knee with the ring as well as giving Rhys a pendent and I'm torn at a silver or golden apple because I don't know whether it would be better for Rhys to have an engagement apple and save the real deal for the wedding or not.

But yeah and then Wulf absolutely makes sweet love to Rhys under the summer shade, spends every moment worshipping the body of his soon to be husband. He'd repeat the act of kissing every part of Rhys's body as he helps him get dressed and he's already babbling about telling the horses and his family with a beaming face and the face that now they're welcoming a new Old God into their world and he's one Wulf wants to worship every day of his life.

[yandere-musings]

Yandere Kaoru Seta

Anonymous asked: OMG YOU WRITE FOR BANDORI?! Can you write yandere headcanons for either Yukina or Kaoru? They're my best girls! I love your writing! Thanks!!

***

Awe thanks! I'm going with Kaoru on this one because she's my best girl and its her birthday tomorrow. if any of my followers play, hmu and I'll add you! I play on both the ENG and the JP servers.

Yandere Type: Delusional, Obsessive, Clingy

• Who would have thought that the legendary Haneoka Highschool Theater Prince would finally fall in love, and with a regular student no less! You were just a helping the theater club carry props to the stage for an upcoming performance, not expecting to actually meet any of the actors. But to your surpsie, one of them was actually there helping set up. You had come in to deliver a variety of fake flowers for the decorations and a large bouquet of roses for Kaoru who would be playing the love interest. You wandered up past the swarm of fans crowding her and nervously cleared your throat and stepped closer to get her attention.

"Um... excuse me? You're Kaoru Seta right? I was asked to deliver these flowers to you for the next performance. Where did you want them?" you asked nervously.

• Kaoru's red eyes grew wide in awe. It could have been the demure way you got her attention, or maybe it was how the stage lighting made you look almost angelic, or perhaps it was how the roses in your arms framed your figure perfectly like you were a living renaissance painting. It could have been any number of those things, but one was for certain. In that fleeting moment, Kaoru knew that it was love at first sight. She was completely dumbstruck, mouth agape in shock as another actor came over and helped you with the flowers. She watched in awe as you unloaded your arms, her mouth still agape. It was clearly some kind of destiny that you had met- and on the stage no less! Just as quickly as you walked into her life, you left. Kaoru's heart was pounding. Such an amazing, fleeting moment. It truly was fate! Kaoru vowed to make you hers. Even though she didn't so much as know your name, Kaoru vowed to stop at nothing to make you hers.

• Athough Kaoru has many fans and potential suitors, none of them compare to you. She needed to know everything she could about you. Sadly, seeking you out was a lot harder than she anticipated. In a school for the talented or genius, you were actually rather average. You didn't stand out much compared to the other students. Nobody had any idea who you were when Kaoru tried describing you for leads. Not to mention she also had to compete with her fans flooding her everywhere she went. When she finally does catch a glimpse of you, Kaoru is overcome with emotion. Suddenly she breaks into a run to close the distance between the two of you. Quickly grabbing your hands in hers, she stares into your eyes with a huge grin across her face. She was wheezing from her run and from the adorable confused expression you wore.

"There you are! I've been looking for you since the day we met," she proclaimed before standing up straight and giving you her most charming smile.

"As the great bard Shakespeare once said, 'who ever loved that loved not at first sight'? I beg of you, please be mine!"

•Regardless of what your answer was to her passionate confession, Kaoru is still determined to sweep you off your feet. She goes around to all your classmates, using her charm and influence to learn all she could about your hobbies, grades and preferences. Kaoru's fanclub was albeit a little jealous, but overall supportive of her sudden new fascination with you. Even if you insist on telling everyone that you aren't romantically involved, nobody believes you. How could they? Its clear that you're in a relationship when she pulls you into such a intimate embrace and spouts sickeningly sweet words to disprove your claims.

"It's alright my precious darling, you have no need to be shy! I don't mind sharing our love with the world! That way, all will come to know that your heart is taken."

• Kaoru was at your side as often as she could be. Personally escorting you to each class, tagging along when you leave campus with friends and even walking you home after school. And by that, I mean she follows right behind you until you get to the front door. Kaoru will stand there and wish you goodnight as you struggle with your keys in a rushed attempt to escape her intrusive gaze. Unfortunately, this now means that she knows where you live. Kaoru isn't a violent criminal by any means, but she wont hesitate to break into your home to steal things. Nothing you'd notice, but stuff that would mean the world to her. Over time, she will collect enough to build a shrine dedicated to you.

• Kaoru's princely personality doesn't stop on stage, no no. She will bring you flowers, extravagant gifts and shower you with all sorts of flattering compliments. Its naturally overwhelming to suddenly have so much attention on you, especially from someone as dazzling as Kaoru. So if you ever get agitated from her constant praise or snap at her, she will just smile at the fact you're giving her any kind of attention. She won't take offence of course- something else must be bothering you! Maybe something in school or your personal life is weighing heavy on your mind. No matter! Kaoru is happy to help in any way she can, and if she isn't able to do it herself, she will find someone else to do it (under her supervision of course!) Now, as far as Yanderes go, Kaoru is very passive. She's honestly believes that you love her, but are just shy. She won't react as violently as most yanderes, but she will manipulate those around her to isolate you or chase them away. If anything, when she does threaten those around you, its all the more terrifying because its so unexpected and out of character. Kaoru will warn them nicely that if they ever so much as speak to you again, they will never actually speak again.

• Powerful declarations of love before or after every performance, both as an actor and as the guitarist for Hello Happy World. And you better believe that she will write songs for you as well! Kaoru enjoys singing to you, love songs clearly being her favorite. But your voice is so much better. Anytime she hears you speak, she's hypnotized, latching on to every word you say. And if its directed at her, she's in heaven. One day, she dreams of kissing those very lips that she loves to stare at. But she won't rush it. No no, the fleeting moment of your first kiss must be savored. Besides, Kaoru knows that you will have plenty of 'firsts' together once you accept her love.

• Even if you remind her that you aren't actually dating, she will just smile and laugh. You're so silly! Of course you aren't dating! You were soulmates after all, there was no need for courting when you're meant to be together. None the less, she will still proudly declare that you are lovers to anyone who's willing to listen. She makes a very convincing case no matter what you do or say. She's big on PDA, loving to shower you in love so that everyone can see that you clearly are a couple

• Somehow, despite your best efforts, she manages to get your phone number. Kaoru loves leaving you long winded lovey-dovey messages, both via text message and on voicemail. Kaoru will lavish you with affection. Expect lots of random kisses and embraces, in private or not. She loves how flustered you get when she does. Even if you don't have school, Kaoru will always manages to track you down. You could be out shopping or wandering around town and she will 'randomly' bump into you. She can't wait until they day you go out with your family so she can properly meet her future in-laws.

• She knows all of your likes and preferences, altering her own to be more akin with yours. Kaoru is dedicated to proving her love through grand gestures or doing things that will win your favor. It makes it hard to dislike her when she cooks and brings your favorite meals for lunch, writes songs for you, buys you anything you spend time browsing in a store or compliments you on something you were insecure about. That coupled with the constant pressure of others to recirpocate her love makes it harder and harder to reject her. But that's exactly what Kaoru wants, for you to be so captivated by her that it parallels her own love for you. She honestly believes that you want to be with her, but that you're too embarrassed to express it just yet. She understands that she needs to be patient with you but she just loves you so much that restraining herself is difficult.

• She's not above kidnapping you. Kaoru adores you, yes, but if you continue to deny her advances when you're clearly meant for each other, she will begin to wonder why. She will seek out her dear friend Kokoro, venting to her rich friend over how badly Kaoru wants to be with you and have your love. Kokoro will be moved to tears by the passion in her voice, seeing how much her friend truly loves you and wants to make you happy. By the end of the Day, the Tsurumaki Secret Service agents will have you gagged and bound somewhere hidden away. Don't worry, Kaoru will be sure to take good care of you. She will happily decorate the room she keeps you locked in, continuing to gift you with all sorts of presents. And once her career as an actor or guitarists take off, she will ensure that you want for nothing. Even if you scream and fight back now, Kaoru knows you're only struggling to adjust to your life together. She knows it will all be worth it in the end. Any crime commited in the name of love can't be too bad right?

[nonipsduck]

Hey fellas, I’m back again with our Indruck- oriented server, Eggnostic! I’m Alexander, and 1/3rd of the mod team, but more importantly, I’m here to say that we will be accepting members again for a short period of time! Details under the cut.

We’re friendly, chatty folks- if you’re not interested fast-paced convos we probably aren’t for you! We do our best to keep things fresh and active, but as a result of such, have found it necessary to implement several rules. I ask you read over them before you decide if this server is for you or not.

1) Be Cool

   1A) This includes respecting these creators. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to their face, both in terms of subject and tone. The language you use conveys a different meaning (ie saying ‘griffin goofed that a little vs berating him) and that matters.

   1B) Going off of the above point, we have decided to ban hypothetical “maybe whys” regarding late episodes. While often well-meaning in giving them credit for not being perfect-content producing machines, it does not change the fact that theories are for characters, not real people.

   1C) We also have decided to ban anxiety-ridden “What-ifs” regarding on why episodes may be delayed: if it is causing you serious emotional distress, it belongs in vent (however if the conversation spirals into people spouting off what-ifs we will intervene).

2) c'mooooooon

   2A) We discourage hyper-analysis of TAZ as it is simply put, not built or meant for that and will not stand up to such analysis, which can be a big downer on a server about loving TAZ. There is no actual prohibition on such conversations… for the time being.

   2B) Our stance on art/fic shaming is as follows: If it falls under obama's second amendment, such as whitewashing tones or features, conflicts with LGBT/ND/POC canon or headcanons (bearing in mind lots of folks are projecting their own real-life struggles), or the content is so horrifically awful (:remyvore:), you're fine. Direct attacks on the arts style, quality, and general artistry will not be tolerated.

id like to make sure everyones actually reading these to some extent, so please tell me your favorite amnesty character n why when you ask to join!

   2C) Related to the aforementioned headcanons, there will be little tolerance for "but why"-ing POC,ND, and LGBT headcanons. It is also unnecessary to insert that you disagree with someone else's headcanon on such topics. Serious, genuine discussion is fine.

   2D) Minimum server age is 14, Maximum 25. Please do not invite anyone to the server without privately asking a moderator. Public requests will be ignored and/ or deleted.

   2E) We want to highlight everyone art fairly, so #art-and-stuff has a 5 minute (ish) cooldown between art posts. We just ask you wait five or so minutes before posting your art after someone else.

   2F) Please be conscientious in both vent channels. Obviously ‘mood’, ‘same’, ‘kin’ ‘f’, ect are entirely inappropriate and won't be tolerated, longer messages with the same message (‘yea i’ve been there sucks man, oh yeah me too, ect) are equally unwelcome. Overly dismissive, Overly aggressive, or condescending (in nature or tone) solutions are also not appropriate.(edited)

3) nice.

   3A) We love goofs and japes, and for this we have #really-wild-shit . For serious and horny NSFW discussion, we have exactly no channel because we don’t want it here. At all. Thanks.

4) We'd like to keep a deeply connected server, and in that case it does not make sense to have everything fall under the mods jurisdiction. If you find something to be in poor taste or in violation of OMA, simply respond with an :eye: emoji. If you need immediate action, or would like a mod to address a situation in any way, simply shoot us a ping.(edited)

5) Blacklist content. Not to be discussed or mentioned in any context. DM mod to add.

   - Drug Use

   - Alcohol

   - Self Harm

   - Suicidal Ideation + Threats

It is worth noting that these are rules for members already within the server, who have already established that they have many hc’s, theories, ect in common. While we cannot ask, much less enforce the following, know the following going in:

> Duck content is all presumed Trans unless stated otherwise… although if you feel the need to state otherwise you probably won’t enjoy the server anyways.

> George is the result of a 3+ hour debate over voice call and is the collective child of not only Indrid and Duck, but our server as a whole. He was and continues to be something we bond over. I’m not saying you gotta know all the lore (because good lord I dont even know it all) but realistically you’ll wanna at least enjoy the little raccoon king we’ve created.

> The rules are clear about NSFW content, but to elaborate on an area in particular: this server is Indruck and Barclane oriented. Chatter of other, conflicting ships isn’t… restricted, but folks are allowed to nip and tease ya. The exceptions only being age gap content (Duck/Pidge, Duck/Leo, Duck/Ned, basically anything around a 20+ age difference. ) and Anyone x Beacon content (he’s a sword with a mouth, and we know you aren’t thinking of him whispering sweet nothings).

> That being said we loooove a good goof. There are several running jokes and recurring topics that may make you uncomfortable, including but not limited to: vore, oviposition, piss, monster and robot fuckers, ect. They’re 110% ironic, but do occasionally spill out of the wild-shit channel for the sake of us being funny bastards.

if you’d like to join, reply to this post, do NOT dm me. im busy this week and it lets the other mods help out too.

We’ll be accepting 10 new folks, and its not super first come first serve. If you join and find that we aren’t for you, no worries: we do not have public exit messages. Thanks for reading!

[diabclos]

                                                          ⭐️  headcanon meme

theicebeastofthenorth -

Dia really doesn’t understand why Misaki goes out of his way to help animals. To him it is just the way of life. You get hurt and die, and the next creature gets to use your corpse for whatever the hell it wants. That said, he willingly goes along with his need to help any and all creatures that are hurt. Normally this is because Misaki can lose all sense of where he is, and in one such case he got to figure out just what happens when he doesn’t pay attention.

lighttheabyss - 

He really does find her snark amusing. She gives very few shits about who he is and what he’s done so long as he behaves. And when he doesn’t behave she is quick to give him a metaphorical swat on the nose and makes sure that he is put back in his place. That much he isn’t too fond of, but now that he’s managed to put his position for attacking her and her party when they entered Amdapor the first time, she seems to have relaxed a little.

spearofthemother -

Dia probably tries to get Azee out shopping for clothes every few weeks. She does need a bit of variety in her wardrobe, plus he enjoys seeing the rather flustered and slightly uncomfortable looks she gives him when she tries things on and isn’t entirely sure if they look good or not. At some point she will figure out that the shop keepers gasping isn’t a bad thing, that they are honestly surprised that such a renowned warrior would look so good in something that they can only sort of pull off.

eternxloptimism -

Dia firmly believes that Aly should be protected. Of all the people he’s really talked to about his urges and what he enjoys most, she is the only one to react with embarrassment right off the bat. Most others who deny him cite either their preference for women, marriage, or just that they wouldn’t sleep with a voidsent. Aly just sort of gets embarrassed and tries to change the subject.

shivaswarrior - 

Of any SeeD that will try to call Dia or command him to fight for them in battle, Squall is the only one that he will not fight on the subject. Dia likes Squall, more than Selfie or Quistis or Seifer. I really can’t manage to give a reason why, just he’s giving me the whole ‘nah, fuck you I’m gonna sleep’ when I push him towards other VIII muses. This includes Ulti too, while I’m thinking about it. He does enjoy fucking things up with her, but he is not hers to command.

cloakanddaggermage - 

1. Hist is one of a few people that can pretty much do or say what they want to Dia with near no consequences. I could spout reasons and make it sound like he’s easy (because he is), but the truth of it is that Hist is someone he has come to trust implicitly.

2. You hurt hist in any way that isn’t a paper cut or accidental and I can guarantee that he will be there to rip you new one. The two of them are linked to a point, so extreme physical pain and whatever out of control emotion she is having affects him. So if you make her upset enough to call him, or hurt her enough him to know before whatever voidsent he has watching her has time to tell him, you will be dead.

3. If Dia isn’t rooming with Phina or whomever else it is that he’s involved with, he’s helping hist sleep at her place. Usually on those nights, if he’s not passed out with her wrapped around his middle, he’s sending out minions to do things with Hist wrapped around his middle and complaining sleepily when he moves too much.

4. Dia is in her home near constantly. Being with other people is always nice, but its gotten to the point where he can literally navigate her home without his seeing-eye bat helping him. That is where the problem happens because he won’t know something has been moved until he runs face first into it.

bloodstainedbread -

Dia was wholly unaware that Lyth was almost entirely blind for a long time. It took until around the time where Lorelei had broken off the engagement for him to realize it. The reason why was because he’d had his ass handed to him (something that i can explain in private for those that weren’t following during that…) and had dark bruises on his neck that she didn’t see even though they were something no one could miss. It prompted an experiment, and he got the full force of her rage when she could actually see just how bad he looked.

impendeo - 

Feridad is honestly the one he goes to if he’s going to do something stupid. Whether its pissing off the automata in the Amdapori ruins that could quite easily kill him with their holy magic, or picking on mortals, he’s the one that Dia will grab before he goes. There is a reason that the two were summoned to wreak havoc on the ancient city. They are very good at sewing confusion and chaos, more so that Forgall.

Forgall is the one Dia goes to when stuff needs to get done. No nonsense, time to break some legs and get what information they need before throwing whomever it was they were torturing to some starving void denizens for them to dispose of.

Both of them though, are loyal. Forgall probably shows it more in subtle questions and watching those who he deems a threat. Feridad is more than likely to stab you with an arrow with a note that says to stay the fuck away, all with his name signed on it.

etosvitri -

1. Dia is 99.99% certain that if he gets within any distance of Demi or Tallyn, one of the two of them will cut him in half. Its amusing as hell to throw his voice using a gate and watch them get a little irritated, but for the most part if they are together, he stays the hell away from them.

2. He does like them. Unlike most people he immediately took a liking to Tallyn, and Demi grew on him. The fact that he can’t get near Tallyn without Hist’s brand scalding him within an inch of his life is the only problem he has. Tallyn’s discomfort is something he isn’t allowed to cause.

3. Demi is wildly entertaining to him. She doesn’t take his shit, and isn’t afraid to just let him have it. It’s why he pestered her to the extent that he did, going as far as using her as a shield because really, it would be too entertaining to see her just throw him to the ground in the middle of a large group of people.

4. He hasn’t wished them congratulations on finding Demi alive because he is sure that he’s the last person they want to see. Menphina sure. Hist, absolutely. But why the antagonistic voidsent who’s sole mission in life is to see how many people he can piss off or sleep with?

justanotherbrd - 

M’tsani is someone he’s sure doesn’t quite grasp everything around her. Not that it is at all a bad thing, he does enjoy seeing her reaction when he tells her something that she didn’t figure out. Case and point, telling her that he was a voidsent, almost immediately after telling her that his wife gave her blessings to Naon and Mimido despite being unable to make it to the wedding itself. Also thinks that her friend is intimidating, but that is neither here nor there.

shroudedscholar - 

1. Dia is seriously confused by Urianger, mostly because of the fact that he was siding with the Warriors of the Darkness, and seemed all too happy to be there at the time, though when he turns around to help the Warrior of Light is where his understanding dims a bit. Being someone who is solidly in the middle of everyone else when it comes to allegiances, seeing someone switch between sides is baffling.

2. Dia is secretly amused by his seeming inability to stay calm when he’s around. The little jumps and tension are not only amusing, but give just enough aether to sustain him for a period of time.

3. Dia probably ends up leaving little messages for the scholar with some lesser voidsent like a beady eye or a gaelicat. Whether it is because he’s lazy or something else, the world may never know.

giltedxpaladin - 

Sil is the one person Dia will go to when injured, before anyone else. He’s someone that Dia knows he can talk out of doing something, including going after whomever it was that had done the damage. If it keeps Sil from going on a rampage and coming into contact with the people that Dia tends to keep company with, he’ll do just about anything.

thanalansunglow - 

Dia really does intend on using Astharan to summon voidsent. He’ll give him what knowledge he wants so long as he assists Dia in getting more voidsent in the realm. Dastardly plans for the world that he will likely be pushed out of by no small number of people, but whatever.

circecastor -

1. Honestly, if he catches her or anyone else trying to go after Maahes, he will ensure that the massive panther has free reign to take out whomever he wants. He might call a stops before C’ersi dies, but if she’s really out for him, well sucks. Could always let her beg for life…

2. When he isn’t letting his pets kill her because she’s apparently decided that they aren’t allowed to continue, he will pester her within an inch of her life. Usually this means that he is acting as her chair and taking whatever books he feels like because it is all in the name of impeding progress.

3. Dia still calls her snowflake, even if she doesn’t want him to. That is her name now, and there is no way to change it. Someday he’s gonna say it to her face and something might snap, but he welcomes it, because she’s usually so collected.

heavenswardrealm - 

Dia really does not understand why he was at the spring when Phina was there, nor does he really care. He knows that she can defend himself, plus his retainers are protecting her now that he has Feridad and Forgall to make sure he doesn’t end up with holes in his hide. But given the fact that he seemed so worried about ‘smearing her honor’, Dia figured he’d play up the vengeful husband bit.

[otome--gokoro]

sfw/nsfw headcanons for oyaji sanada masayuki?

yooooooooo why are you asking me to think dirty thoughts about a man who loves his dead wife v v v much THIS IS RLY PAINFUL

Sanada Masayuki headcanons

SFW

likes playing shogi and is pretty good at it

taught Nobuyuki how to play, they still play sometimes

enjoys poetry and literature

still loves his dead wife so. goddamn. much.

should have married again after she died and entered serious talks to do so but pulled out halfway because he felt like it was too much like betrayal

also guilt-tripped himself because he felt like he was putting himself before his clan

THIS MAN IS LADEN WITH REGRETS. wishes he had spent more time with her. wishes he had tried harder to make her happy. wishes he had been a better husband.

keeps the letters he and his wife exchanged, tucked safely in a box in his room

still writes letters to her on special occasions. her birthday. their anniversary. their children’s birthdays. new year. doesn’t matter that she will never read them. he writes these letters under the peach tree they planted together in the yard.

doesn’t like peaches because they’re oddly fuzzy and sticky sweet, but without fail, every year, he eats the peaches from that tree

gets along well with Nobuyuki, grateful to him for helping to raise Yukimura

sometimes worries that he has beaten the whole heir to the clan thing too deeply into Nobuyuki, to the point where all Nobuyuki thinks about is responsibility

hoping that he can develop a more equal relationship with Yukimura eventually

was super insanely strict with the boys when they were young, especially so with Yukimura because he was such a rambunctious child, so their relationship is more distant

but he is so proud of his sons. so proud. they have grown into such good men. even if one is frighteningly obsessive and the other is permanently virginal

lowkey worries about Yukimura all the time because contrary to all the HONOURABLE DEATH stuff he spouts, he really doesn’t want him to die.

NSFW under cut

vanilla, gentle, super loving in bed

loves skin on skin contact, tries to convince his wife to sleep naked with him, really wants naked cuddling please please please

missionary position is his favourite but anything that lets them stare into each other’s eyes and feel super close is fine

likes creampies/coming in her mouth

loves running his fingers through her hair and watching it get sweaty while they have sex

favorite body parts are eyes and stomach

develops mild pregnancy kink after she gets pregnant with Nobuyuki, he touches the curve of her stomach and is just so amazed that they made it happen, they made a baby

only jerks off after his wife’s death

there aren’t many female retainers in the Sanada castle and anyway he feels super awkward about trying to fuck someone in a place chockfull of her memories

visited prostitutes a few times but it just felt wrong and depressing and made things worse so he stopped

[knicks-knacks]

You probably answered this before, but what are your opinion on Carla and sta/rla? And what do you think about the fans? For me I don't like it. I guess is just how the show showed about their relationship. And what are your opinion on g4g? For me I don't like it either. I would love to hear your opinion. Hope this question isn't a bother.

Hmmm, I think I’ve talked about it before, but I don’t think anyone has outright asked me what I think about it before- they’ve all just been vents or someone wanting to complain with me. This question isn’t a bother at all, friend!

For Carla, on her own and in canon... I don't really give a shit about her??? She's a character that was used as a minor plot point in like two episodes, she has less screentime than fucking GOMPERS for God's sake. Like, it's cute that Stan and Carla dated for a while, but the fact that she became a HUGE ship and people thought she was actually significant it's like. I started to hate her REAL quick. Plus the fact that she left Stan on a dime, and that Stan probably wasn't the best of boyfriends, and if you ask me I headcanon that she kind of shamed Stan into getting more fit. And then after that, Stan got so jealous he harassed both her and her new boyfriend.

So like, I don't mind the ship much as the fluffy-short-lived-high-school-romance, but when the ship is like "omg carla is the love of stans life!!!!!!! omg carla is gonna come back and they're gonna get together!!!!!!!!! omg carla is the grandma of dipper and mabel!!!!!" it's just. shut the fuck up. she's literally JUST a teenage fling that was used to get Dipper and Stan to bond over something.

And as for the fans, my goodness, they were terrible. They fought so much with the Stancest shippers back in the day when they were still rampant through the fandom. And gosh, it's been a while and my memory is hazy, but I know there were ACTUALLY ST@RL@ FANS who said some homophobic as FUCK stuff (Since Mystery Trio was still a big thing, so was Fiddlestan, and the Starla fans got SO pissy that Stan was being shipped with another male - no, instead, he should be shipped with CARLA, because SHE CAME FIRST etc etc), and there was some entitled as fuck stuff they said, including one Starla shipper getting pissy that there was a Fiddl3st@n art that had Stan and Fidds dancing - because that's a ST@RL@ THING. ONLY STAN AND CARLA CAN EVER BE SEEN DANCING TOGETHER EVER. And that's just scratching the surface, but I know so many of them were like "STAN CAN'T BE WITH ANYONE BUT CARLA EVER" because that's some of the stuff they said to me back then lol. Plus the fact they just KEPT spouting off like they were the definitory ship, even when the show proved again and again that they aren't into each other at all anymore, they still acted like they were the best ship ever and they were NOT a tiny dingboat with a fucking hole in it. And it's not like they've changed, there was actually a recent incident with a shipper that happened that I don't want to go in depth on because it will be too obvious who/what I'm talking about.

And then god... g4g..... legit and honestly the worst thing in this entire fandom. Like, take St@rl@ shippers, make them ten times worse, and that's G4G. Like, THE worst I swear. There's a lot of bullshit going on with antis right now and all that, but I'm still SO relieved that G4G is mostly dead.

Like, just focusing on the theory for a moment, it makes no sense and it never did. They claimed that Stan got Carla knocked up in their teens, and then Dipper and Mabel are their grandkids. Timelines wise, it's not TOO far fetched - but they also were like "Stan got Carla knocked up and then ditched her and the baby" which fucking NO. NEVER IN HIS LIFE DO I THINK STAN WOULD EVEN CONSIDER ABANDONING A KNOCKED UP LADY AND A BABY. That is just SO INCREDIBLY OOC AS FUCk. And then they turn around and ALSO say that, a big reason G4G is "confirmed" is because "Stan loves the kids too much just to be a great uncle" which i think is one of the arguments that got me frustrated the most because like????? okay u say Stan loves them SO MUCH that it doesn't make sense to "just" be an uncle, but he's okay with abandoning their parent for years on end????? and the kids' parents are totally okay with sending the kids to stay with the brother of the man who abandoned them???????? what the fuck??????? but it just frustrates me SO MUCH that they were like "He's just an uncle he can't love those kids THAT much if he was just an uncle" like what the absolute FUCK does that mean. family ties???? mean nothing when it comes to love and bonding????? they act like the more closely related u are the more you care about a person and like no????? there's people who hate their parents and parents who hate their kids and there's some grandpas that couldn't give less of a shit about their grandkids, and then there's uncles who are better dads than the dad in question. like, I had a great uncle, he lived in california and he cared about me more than one of my grandpas ever did so??????? that logic is so skewed and actually kinda offensive so jeez

and there's so many other little things that they saw and screamed "CANON" at the top of their lungs like an idiot. MABEL WORE A FLOWER AND CARLA WORE A FLOWER IT'S CANON. STAN SAID SOMETHING ABOUT KNOCKING A GIRL UP, COULDN'T HAVE BEEN A JOKE HAD TO BE CARLA. And uh. god there was a ton of other stupid shit that they said was "evidence"

but I think their attitude was the most absolutely abysmal - like I said, they screamed. they literally got into all caps fights with people who didn't agree with the theory, called people who didn't agree with it idiots, generally screamed down ANYONE who wasn't along with the theory - all while believing there was no way ever in the possible universe that THEY could be wrong about this completely true theory!!!!! Stanley says he's their great uncle? HE'S BLUFFING G4G IS CANON!!!!! Alex says Stanley doesn't have kids? LIES HE DOES TO ALEX IS TRYING TO THROW US OFF!!!! Alex says AGAIN that Stan never had kids? L I E S STILL HE JUST DOESN'T WANT US TO FIND IT OUT TOO EARLY!!!! Stan literally says outright that they're Shermies grandkids? LYING ALEX IS GONNA PULL THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER US AT ANY MOMENT!!!!! Alex literally answers a fan asking 'is stan the grandpa' with 'no'? HE'S STILL LYING HE JUST CAN'T SAY IT YET!!!!! Canon compliant game mentions Shermie again and Stan mentions fighting him off to hold Dipper and Mabel? LI E S HE IS TH E G RA ND  PA

It was the most infuriating bullshit. Even though Alex had said himself three times before Stan wasn't the grandpa, even though there's a shit ton of canon evidence and outright things that debunk it, they STILL thought they were the most canon thing in the universe, to the point that they STILL yelled at people who didn't agree with them.

just. ugh. seriously, if you're new, be relieved you didn't take the brunt of the G4G bullcrap. i mean i still feel bad the for the stancest shippers who were there before me because I came in at the very end of it but I saw how bad it was. weirdly enough St@rl@ shippers targeted Stancesters a shit ton???? it was weird but yeah