#been nonstop it feels for like all summer and October

[ca-d]

colorful quiet days 🧡

[nataliesfirefly]

You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F! Reader - Part 8

a/n: heyy loves! if you’ve stuck around for all 8 parts, thank you SOOO much. writing this series and receiving so many kind comments and love has really made the past month and a half so enjoyable. i cant believe i’m concluding my first fic already!! it’s been so fun and i definitely want to write more. shoutout to my friend @avessss who encouraged me to start posting even though i was really nervous. i couldn’t have done it without her 💕 but anyways enjoy the last chapter! not sure when i will post next but until then… message me, give suggestions, etc!! love you all SOO much 💌

word count: 4.6k words

masterlist

playlist

warnings: MDNI 18+, afab reader, smut, oral (reader receiving), p in v, making out, language, angst for like one second, FLUFF, mentions of alcohol, not proofread

“A pint, please. Thanks.” You smile at the bartender as you slide forward five pounds. You stand and wait patiently, leaning against the bar as he shuffles away to go fill up a tall glass of beer.

You hear your name being said from next to you. You turn to see a familiar girl with olive skin and long, silky black hair. Your brain takes a few seconds to compute who it is.

“Sasha! Hey,” You grin and she smiles brightly. “Hi. I didn’t know if it was you or not,” She chuckles and you stand there awkwardly, not sure of what to say.

“How’s life?” She asks. “Uhh, good. Can’t complain.” You shrug as the bartender slides you the beer across the counter. You take a sip as she nods.

“Same here. Just a little terrified of the fact that we are going to be seniors in a year,” She runs a hand through her hair with a sigh. “Me too, girl.” You nod in agreement.

“How was your summer?” Sasha asks. You let out a sigh unintentionally before fixing your facial expression.

“It was… good,” You nod slowly, almost trying to convince yourself. “I don’t know if you know but…There’s a rumor going around that you and Farleigh had somewhat of a summer fling,” She winces after she says this.

“Oh God,” You press a hand to your forehead and shake your head. “Who told you that?” You groan.

“I’m assuming it came from Felix. I’m not sure, but I just wanted to tell you…” She places a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. “If you ever need to talk or anything like that, let me know.” She says, her English accent soft and elegant.

She seems almost too nice. You’ve never seen Sasha like this, so it’s hard to believe.

“Thank you.” You dip your head and take another sip of beer. “I know I was never the nicest to you and we were never close, but I’m here for you.” Her hand falls from your shoulder gently.

“I think I was honestly just threatened by you,” She continues. You jerk your head towards her quickly and furrow your eyebrows.

“What? Why?” You scoff as if it’s absurd. “I always had this… gut feeling that he was in love with you or something. He would talk about you nonstop, about how much you annoyed him and how much he ‘hated you.’ I knew better,” She shakes her head.

“Oh. Shit. I’m sorry,” You feel bad, suddenly. Like you were the cause of their relationship problems.

“But that whole thing is over now,” You wave your hand dismissively. “He’s an asshole, isn’t he?” You both giggle at her words.

“He is. I can see why you broke up with him,” You nod, feeling no remorse for talking about Farleigh this way. It’s all true. But you also know Sasha had a lot to do with the shitty parts of their relationship.

“I’ll see you around, yeah?” She grins and holds up her hand, giving a tiny wave. “Yeah. See you,” You watch her walk away before turning back to your drink, grabbing it and heading to find an empty table.

You sigh, leaning down and fishing your textbook out of your bag. You still have four chapters to read before tomorrow. The first term of your junior year is kicking your ass, even though it’s only October.

Sooner or later, you see Felix walking through the entrance of the pub. You immediately crane your neck to search for any signs of Farleigh, since he usually follows Felix around. But thankfully, he’s not anywhere to be found.

You turn your attention back to your textbook, and when you glance back up, Felix is sitting across from you.

“Hey.” He smiles and you notice the cigarette between his fingers. “Hi. How are you?” You reply, not exactly in the mood to talk to him right now.

“Oh, you know. Just drowning in work,” He sighs and leans back in his chair, throwing his head back slightly.

“You and me both,” You chuckle lightly and close your textbook, knowing you won’t get anything read so long as Felix is here. He leans forward again and takes a drag from his cigarette.

“So…” He starts, trailing off. You raise your eyebrows. “So?”

“Are you and Farleigh ever going to make up?” He asks suddenly. You cough, surprised by the abrupt question.

“No.” You shake your head. “Don’t even try it, Felix.” You roll your eyes and he groans. “Please, we don’t even get to hang out much anymore because you’re avoiding him,” He whines.

“Then just… arrange a time to hang out with me when Farleigh isn’t there.” You grimace at the feeling of his name in your mouth. Felix facepalms. “C’mon. Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but…”

“It sounds like you think you know what happened.” You narrow your eyes and he seems confused. “What?” He tilts his head.

“Lola told me you’re spreading rumors. Like, that Farleigh and I had some fling over the summer,” You explain, and he glances down like he’s been caught, before looking back up with amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“What, you thought no one would hear you two fucking at one in the morning? You guys were so loud, it’s like you wanted to be caught,” He chuckles and shakes his head. Your face burns beet red with embarrassment.

“I don’t judge you for it. I just didn’t expect it,” He says. “Okay, but that doesn’t mean you go telling everyone about it,” You reply.

“I didn’t mean to. I told one person in confidence.” Felix says. “You know you can’t trust these people to keep things to themselves,” You shake your head in disappointment.

“Okay, I’m sorry. But I think Farleigh really wants to talk to you.” He says, his tone persuasive and you immediately cringe.

“I’m not talking to him. Nothing will come of it,” You finish off your beer and set the glass on the table decisively.

“I just don’t want our friendship to be messed up because of this.” He says, sounding a bit sad. You look back up to him and see him glancing down at his lap.

“We’re good. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.” It comes off harsher than you meant it to, but Felix doesn’t seem to mind. “I can’t just forgive and forget, you know?”

He nods. “Yeah. Alright, then. Just consider talking to him. I’ll see you later, mate.” He drums his fingers on the table before standing up and walking to the bar. You sigh and decide to pack up your things after checking your watch and seeing the time. It’s getting late.

You stand up and grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You walk out of the pub and down the cobbled streets while looking around and just observing the several groups of students, chatting loudly or laughing. The chilly autumn breeze tosses around crimson and golden leaves.

You go over your plans for the remainder of tonight in your head. You’re going to get back to your dorm, take a shower, then get the rest of your work done. That is, if you don’t procrastinate like you usually do.

You enter your dorm building and then stop in your tracks when you see him standing there, at the bottom of the stairs. It’s like you have a full body reaction to him standing in front of you, sending a chill down your spine and making your stomach churn. He doesn’t speak, he just stares at you. You step forward, walking up the stairs and completely ignoring him. “Can we please talk?” Farleigh calls your name.

“No, we can’t.” You respond, your tone harsh and bitter. You hear footsteps coming up the stairs behind you and you increase your pace, trying to get to your door and unlock it before he can catch up to you. But it’s no use, he’s already standing there behind you.

“Please. Just let me talk to you,” He begs. You shake your head. “Farleigh, I already know how this is going to go. You don’t talk.” You can’t even stand to look at him, even addressing him is difficult after all these months of not speaking.

“I’m going to talk. I swear. Please,” He pleads. “Fine,” You groan with exasperation as you unlock your door, although you’re sort of curious as to what he’s going to say.

He closes the door behind him and you go to sit on the edge of your bed after setting your things down and kicking off your shoes, looking at him expectantly. “Okay, talk.”

“I’m sorry. For everything.” Farleigh says, and it surprisingly sounds sincere. “I’m sorry for being a dick to you all these years. And those things I said at Saltburn, I didn’t mean any of it.” His voice is quiet and he looks down at the ground as he speaks. You blink a few times and take a moment to respond.

“Why would you say those things if you never meant them?” You ask, your own voice timid as you remember all the harsh and cruel words he said to you that one night.

“Did you mean it when you said you hated me and you wished we never met?” He fires back. You bite the inside of your cheek and avoid his gaze as regret washes over you. “...I never said–”

“Yes you did.” It’s silent and the tension in the air is palpable. It seems like you’re both waiting for who is going to speak next, but you aren’t exactly sure what to say.

“I just don’t understand why you’re so eager to apologize when you’ve literally hated me since the day we first met,” You chuckle sarcastically and shake your head. He falls silent, and when you glance back up to him, he looks nervous, like something’s on the tip of his tongue.

“That’s not… exactly true.” He mutters. “I never hated you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you. That night at Saltburn, when Felix introduced us to each other. I saw you and I just felt… Something just came over me. I’d never felt it before. I mean, I was so captivated by you. I couldn’t sleep that night because I was thinking about you every second. And I was scared. I was so scared. So I was mean to you.”

He lets out a breath after his confession and you stare at him in disbelief. You’re barely processing anything he’s saying. Is this real? You feel like you should pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming.

“And Felix never kept his friends around for long, so I knew I couldn’t get attached to you. I thought you were just passing by and that I would never see you again. But when you came back the next summer, then the next, and then you got into Oxford, I knew I was fucked.

“I just kept pushing my feelings down and instead of dealing with them, I was just… a bitch. I was trying to push you away and I was hoping that would get rid of my feelings. But it didn’t. And I regret it so, so much. I wasted all this time and I was being so stupid. I was just scared of love. I was scared of loving you.”

You feel tears welling up in your eyes and you can hear your heart pounding in your chest. You swear you can see tears in his own eyes.

“What about Sasha?” You ask when you finally gather yourself. “Really? You don’t know why I dated Sasha?” He chuckles a bit like it should be obvious. You shake your head no.

“I just needed someone to distract me. I got with all those people to fill the void. I mean, Sasha and I’s relationship was purely based off of sex. And every single time, I pictured that it was you instead of Sasha. I would close my eyes and imagine it was you. I think that was the only way I was able to get off,” He laughs. Your eyes widen at his words and your stomach flips. So that was why he was always moaning like a bitch?

“So when we finally… I freaked out. It was getting too real, and so I pushed you away again. And I said some shitty things.” You blink and a few tears fall. You don’t even know how to describe how you’re feeling right now. So many emotions are building inside of you, and they’re so dense and heavy, you’re not sure how to comprehend them.

“I’m so, so fucking sorry.” Farleigh seems to notice that you’re crying. “You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m a fucking idiot,”

Before you know it you’re off of your bed, crashing into him and sobbing against his chest. He wraps his arms around you, locking you in a tight embrace and enveloping you in his warmth. Your shoulders shake as you feel all the emotions pouring out of you. He holds you like he’s never going to let go. You don’t want him to let go. Ever.

“I’m so sorry,” He whispers your name into your hair. “I’ll never do that to you again.” He continues muttering these things to you as you let him hold you, melting into the hug.

You look up at him and his brown eyes are illuminated with affection. Something about him is different. He’s softer, unlike his usual cold and teasing personality.

He gently moves some hair out of your face and kisses your forehead, causing you to blush and smile softly.

“Why did we waste so much time when we could have been together?” You ask timidly, more of a rhetorical question. He sighs and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Cause we’re stupid,” He chuckles and you let out a quiet laugh. “It doesn’t matter now. We have the rest of our lives to make up for it,” He grins down at you and you smile against his hand that cups your face. He leans down and you tilt your head up to meet his lips. The kiss you share is slow and sensual, like you’re both trying to savor each other for as long as possible, like you’re making up for all those years of fabricated hatred. You can’t deny that you missed his lips and the way that he kisses, the way his tongue licks into your mouth. He pulls away after a minute.

“But I still feel like I need to make it up to you,” Farleigh’s expression changes and his voice lowers to that familiar deep and gravelly sound. You can see the lust in his eyes and you feel butterflies swarming in your stomach.

“What should I do for you, baby?” His hands snake down to your hips as he lowers himself slowly to the ground until he’s on his knees. Your heart races and you feel chills racing across your skin.

He looks up at you and you swear your knees almost give out from underneath you just at the sight. “Far..” You giggle shyly and feel your face burn red.

His fingers fiddle with the waistband of your skirt, almost teasing you and waiting until you ask him to take it off. But after a moment he’s pulling it down gently, and you step out of it gingerly and nudge it to the side with your foot.

He groans and his hands roam up and down your thighs. “You’re so perfect,” He mumbles as he hooks your lace panties under his fingers and pulls them down as well, almost hurriedly this time like he’s just that eager to eat you out until you’re sobbing for him.

Without any warning or time to prepare, his mouth is already on you, tasting you passionately with his tongue and moaning, the vibrations going straight to your core.

You moan breathlessly, your hand reaching down to tangle in his curly hair for something to ground you, and he seems to like this. He keeps letting out these small, needy whines like he’s the one getting devoured.

Every swirl and flick of his tongue has you whimpering like you’re in pain, your legs feeling unstable and weak. He sucks on your clit and you feel two of his fingers already inching their way inside, curling inside of you deliciously. It’s all too much and your breath has turned into short, high-pitched, desperate huffs.

“Please- Shit, Farleigh,” The third finger he inserts draws a long moan out of you. You don’t care if your neighbors hear you. You’re too lost in the pleasure that he’s giving you, with no drawbacks or regret looming in the future. When you think about how he just confessed his love for you, it only brings you closer to the edge of your beautiful release.

He laps up your slick, his tongue getting dangerously close to your entrance. You gasp for air as his fingers leave, only to be replaced by his tongue. You whine at the new feeling of his tongue deep inside of you, his thumb circling your clit. You feel your climax approaching, threatening to make you crumble and beg for mercy.

A deep and guttural groan leaves him as he continues fucking you with his tongue. “Far, I’m close-“ Your hand twists in his hair and you roll your hips against his face absentmindedly, almost like you’re stuck in a trance.

His tongue slips out of you, his nose nudging against your clit. Then, you’re gone. You feel like you’re floating, like you’re the only two people in the world right now, all your thoughts disappearing as that divine ecstasy shoots through your veins and melts your muscles and your bones.

He stands back up and takes you into his strong arms, cradling you as he brings you over to your bed, with occasional kisses along the way. You both pull away to tear off your clothes. You hurriedly pull off your sweater and your bra and toss them aside, hearing them land somewhere on the floor. Farleigh takes his own shirt off and his jeans, revealing that beautiful body you’ve subconsciously been dreaming of.

“Lay down,” You tell him with some sort of newfound confidence. You’ve never been on top before, but right now you want to pay him back and give him all that you have to offer.

“Mmm,” He hums in response, laying down on your small, twin-sized bed. You climb onto the bed and straddle him, feeling slightly nervous as his hands rest on your hips. You keep your hands on his chest as you grind your hips down onto him, feeling the form of him through his boxers.

He’s rock hard, and it only encourages you to continue to grind against him, rolling your hips smoothly and slowly. He whimpers and grips your hips harder, biting his lip. “Fuck, baby,” He moans, his hips bucking up slightly to meet yours.

You can’t wait anymore. You reach down and maintain eye contact as you slowly pull down his boxers, shuffling them down his legs.

It’s definitely intimidating, but you’re determined to ride him. He looks up at you. “Is this okay?” He asks, his hands returning to your hips. You nod. “Yeah,” You reply before rising up on your knees and adjusting yourself before sinking down onto him.

You wince at the delicious pain as your teeth sink into the plush of your bottom lip, his hands guiding you further down his length. A string of curses leave his lips once his whole cock is inside of you. He definitely missed this.

You place your hands on his chest again as you begin to drag your hips back and forth. He whimpers and whispers your name like a prayer. “That’s it, fuck-“ His grasp on your hips tighten and you can already guess that you’ll have bruises.

You rock your hips back and forth, creating a better pace for the two of you as he thrusts up into you. That pained look crosses his face again as you make eye contact. You’re completely enthralled by the sight of each other, a sheen of sweat forming on both of your foreheads. Your head falls back once you finally find the perfect angle that brings you such satisfaction, your jaw going slack. “Baby,” He begs, breathing heavily.

You feel yourself growing tired from the fast rhythm, and you slow down, still circling your hips on top of him. He seems to sense that you’re growing fatigued, so he flips the two of you over, switching your places. You’re dizzy and caught off guard, but you focus on his eyes as he takes over, slowly thrusting into you with long strokes.

Farleigh reaches down to grab your hand, intertwining your fingers together and holding on tightly. He lowers his head to pepper kisses across your forehead, your nose, your cheeks. He brushes some hair out of your face.

“I love you,” He mutters, his nose rubbing against yours. Your eyes widen at his words and your heart skips a beat. You squeeze his hand weakly and grin.

“I love you too,” You whisper back, feeling tears brimming in your eyes. “I love you so much,” You tell him, and he lets his head fall into the crook of your neck as he moans desperately, his thrusts faltering. Your other hand rests on the top of his head, stroking his curls. You both finish at the same time, whispering each other’s names and more confessions of love. It’s meaningful, beautiful, and sweet. Something you’ve craved but never experienced. That is, until now.

He collapses next to you and eventually pulls out of you, causing you to grunt just a bit. You lay there, your legs entangled with his and his arms around you protectively. He pulls the sheets over the two of you and continues to kiss you slowly with so much passion and affection.

Farleigh pulls away and swipes the tears off your cheeks, his gaze never leaving yours. You take his hand in yours once again and press your forehead against his.

“I could get used to this,” You whisper with a cheeky grin. He laughs softly. “Really?” He responds sarcastically, raising his eyebrows.

“Really.” You giggle quietly and he presses another kiss to your cheek. “I would consider spending the rest of my life with you,” He shrugs nonchalantly and you can’t seem to stop smiling. You don’t think you’ve ever been this happy in your life.

“You’d consider it? Woah, thanks,” You say with fake awe, gasping. “I’ve been considering it for a while, actually,” He mutters, running his fingers through your hair. “Have you?” You whisper, suddenly feeling sleepy. Everytime he holds you like this, it puts you right to sleep. You feel so safe and loved in his arms.

“Mhm.” His other hand rests on the small of your back and you feel your eyelids growing heavy. “I love you, Farleigh,” You whisper. “I love you too.” He replies, and with that, you drift off to sleep, with no cares or worries in the world, now that you’ve finally solved your problems with Farleigh. You’re so glad you gave him a second chance.

The next morning you wake up to Farleigh pulling you closer to him, nuzzling his head in your chest and groaning. You yawn and glance over to your bedside table, checking the time on your alarm clock. 9:42 AM.

Shit. You forgot about your class. It started at 9:30. Oh well. You groan and let your head fall back onto the pillow, rubbing your forehead.You pat Farleigh’s head, his curls sticking out at awkward angles but still managing to look cute.

You shiver and reach down to pull the duvet over yourself. He stirs at your movement and eventually, his dark brown eyes open.

A grin immediately appears on his face as he looks at you, taking in your appearance. Thank God you hadn’t worn makeup the day before. You were in your natural state, besides the messy hair. He traces his finger along your jawline and you smile, tilting your head.

“Good morning,” He wraps you up in his arms again, desperate to be close to you. His voice is deep and raspy. You’ll never get tired of his morning voice.

“Morning,” You reply, snuggling up to him and breathing in his scent. He kisses the top of your head and rubs your back soothingly.

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt about waking up next to you?” Farleigh asks. You giggle quietly. “Well, your wish came true,” You reply with a quick raise of your brows.

Suddenly, you remember what Lola said that one night at Saltburn as you think about you and Farleigh’s relationship over the years.

“Lola told me something a few months ago,” You start. “Mmm, and what was that?” He responds.

You inhale slowly. “She said that you were looking for me one morning and you came by our dorm, and you seemed very worried about me,” You smile at the thought, knowing what you know now.

“Oh. Yeah, I remember that. I was always worried sick about you. Whether you got home after a night out, if you drank too much, if some guy took advantage of you…” He trails off and sighs.

“Really?!” You ask, gazing up at him in shock. “You’re so confusing,” You let out a breathy laugh and shake your head.

“Do you remember our first night at Oxford? The very first party we went to?” He asks. You nod. He fiddles with a strand of your hair.

“After our little… argument, I stayed away from you the rest of the night. But then it was getting late, and I couldn’t find you, and I didn’t know if you knew the way back to your dorm. When I went into the bathroom I found you passed out on the floor. Black out drunk.” He explains, his voice soft.

“Anyone could have found you, or taken advantage of you. So I picked you up and carried you back to your dorm and tucked you into your bed.” Your eyes widen as your brain registers his words. Lola never told you about that.

“And when we were talking that night on the steps outside at Saltburn when we couldn’t sleep, the first summer you were there, you fell asleep on my shoulder. So I carried you up to your room.”

It’s silent for a minute as you process this. Was it a common theme for Farleigh to carry you to your bed when you were passed out?

“I never knew you cared that much.” You whisper, reaching up to play with one of his curls. “I don’t think I knew, either.” He mumbles.

You kiss him, slowly and gently, smiling against his lips. He grins, breaking the kiss, before holding the back of your head and guiding you back to him.

And you really believe that in this moment, you could die happy. You want to spend the rest of your life with him. The hot August nights, the freezing December mornings, the summer days under cerulean skies. The good days and the bad days. You can’t even remember how it felt to hate Farleigh. Every single trace of dislike for him is gone, erased completely from your heart. All that’s left is a love too strong to comprehend.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha

[writingonleaves]

some reckless driving au thoughts to introduce you all to a couple that's been in my mind since october nonstop (the first part is very close to being done. and its long folks!)

it's jack fell first AND jack fell harder and you know what? that's how it should be

they're young. and stupid. so keep that in mind lol

i really really highly encourage everyone to listen to 'reckless driving' by lizzy mcalpine and ben kessler to prepare. this whole story spanned from that song and that song only. probably why it was my top 5 most listened to last year

i had my friend read a bit of it and she said it was giving very much "summer romance with sticky ice-cream hands, sunkissed skin and a bubble that is going to pop and explode too quickly" so take that as you will

this is a thesis for another time but i've always thought of jack as someone who has more to him than meets the eye. the little personality we do get from him is so interesting and painfully boyish and reminds me of the guys i grew up with (i'm only a few months older than jack) and i'd like to think amelie balances that in a realistic way (if you've read my stuff, im all about the realism)

a lot of cameos from current guys on the michigan hockey team as well as alum to add some flavor

if anyone wants to chat about them, feel free!!! especially as i wrap up the first part <3<3<3 thanks for the love so far

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Chubtober Day 9!

For day 9, we are back on the OG Chubtober prompt list with “Rainy Day”. Enjoy this little drabble about fairy Joon!

—-

It had been the busiest summer season the fairies had ever seen.

Whether it was the prolonged heat or simply an increase in everyone’s needs, the shop was a revolving door of all kinds of supernatural creatures in need of a little fairy dust pick-me-up. All seven of them had endless requests and constant work to keep up with the demands.

The shop usually slowed down near the middle of August, yet this year didn’t show a sign of relaxing until early October. Now, they could finally hand off the winter preparation work to their neighboring sprites to take over the needs of the community.

As they closed the shop for the evening, all seven were thinking about their relaxing day to follow. They were about to have their first full day off without opening the shop in months.

Most of them intended to lay around and relax, maybe play a few games or read a book, but there was not going to be any mention of work. The only one who seemed like they would be working was Namjoon.

Namjoon decided that he was going to take his day to harvest his garden and prepare the greenhouse for colder weather. He was excited because, as he explained to his mates many times, that was not working for him - being around the plants peacefully and at his own pace was relaxing and energizing.

However, his lovely and relaxing day never even began. Namjoon woke up early to thunder, and instantly, his excitement was gone. He knew he could venture out to the greenhouse and spend some time in there, hidden from the rain, but to truly give the time and love he intended to his garden, Namjoon needed to be out freely in the yard.

The weather affected none of the others since it was all inside activities or general relaxation. Namjoon was genuinely going to be the only one without a real "break" in their mind as his excitement for the day was allowing him to reenergize in nature.

The storm was not in the air and was completely unexpected, knocking the wind from his sails. Jin found him standing on the covered porch, staring out into the heavy rain with a despondent look on his face.

Bringing back inside, Jin sat him at the kitchen counter and gave him some space. They started with a breakfast together, which they hadn't been able to do in a while. Namjoon would admit that it did bring his mood up, but the disappointment was still heavy on his shoulders.

His mates could see Namjoon’s somber mood, even after an enjoyable meal together so they made a plan to care for him.

The rest of the day devolved into them giving him all his favorite snacks, especially sweets to comfort him while Namjoon sat in their little window nook looking outside.

Namjoon still got to relax, but it just wasn’t the same as he wanted. The rain drops sliding down the glass in front of him was a good representation of his feelings.

Although, he would admit that the continuous visits from his mates with a handful of sweet and savory snacks accompanied and a kiss or a cuddle was certainly helping.

By the time dinner came around, Namjoon realized that he had truly spent the entire day snacking nonstop, not the slightest bit hungry.

If Namjoon was full before dinner, he was more than stuffed after dinner. His mates spared no regard for the fact they had fed him all day. Keeping his plate filled as much as possible with all his favorite foods that Jin and Yoongi had prepared.

He was so incredibly grateful for them even though Namjoon also felt painfully stuffed. In terms of fairy stature, he was already a big guy, but he never ate like he had that day - binged really a better word.

Namjoon told them, although he was in a much better mood, he needed to lay down and possibly get a belly rub from his day-long binge.

All of them were happy to volunteer. The mates ending the night curled together, talking through their plans for the next day as it would also be a day to enjoy off work.

Namjoon felt the love of his mates and the warm comfort of their gentle hands. It wasn’t his plan for the day, but it wasn’t the worst day after all.

The next morning, Namjoon woke up bloated and tired yet excited for the thought of getting his gardening day to work off his previous day’s sugar bender.

Much to his disappointment yet again, Namjoon was met with another unexpected rainy day. He found himself on the porch again and was retrieved by his mates with loving encouragement to come in and enjoy breakfast.

Namjoon figured his day would likely look the same as the day before and although he wanted was some peaceful garden time, allowing his mates to feed and cuddle him all day long again wasn’t too bad.

[newstfionline]

Friday, October 25, 2024

Trudeau Is Urged by Fellow Party Members to Step Down as Prime Minister (NYT) Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada faced the stiffest challenge to his leadership from fellow elected Liberal Party members on Wednesday during a closed-door meeting where he was urged to resign to avoid torpedoing the party’s chances in the next election. For more than a year, the Liberals under Mr. Trudeau have trailed the Conservative Party by double digits in polls, suggesting that the Liberal Party could face a crushing defeat in the next election, which must be held by next October. Panic within the party intensified after the Liberals recently lost two special parliamentary elections in districts that had been considered their strongholds.

Two Weeks Out, Trump and Harris Are Locked in a Dead Heat (Bloomberg) The presidential contest between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris could hardly be tighter. The candidates are statistically tied among likely voters in each of the seven swing states in the Bloomberg News/Morning Consult poll, with the razor-thin margins in these battlegrounds underscoring how the final blitz of advertising, rallies and door-knocking campaigns could decide who claims the White House. Across all seven states, the candidates are in a dead heat, with 49% support each among likely voters. The poll’s overall “statistical” margin of error is 1 percentage point.

As Election Looms, Disinformation ‘Has Never Been Worse’ (NYT) The Democratic Party’s vice-presidential nominee has been falsely accused of sexually molesting students. The claims have been spread by a former deputy sheriff from Florida, now openly working in Moscow for Russia’s propaganda apparatus, on dozens of social media platforms and fake news outlets. Smears, lies and dirty tricks—what we call disinformation today—have long been a feature of American presidential election campaigns. Two weeks before this year’s vote, however, the torrent of half-truths, lies and fabrications, both foreign and homegrown, has exceeded anything that came before, according to officials and researchers who document disinformation. Russia, as well as Iran and China, have gleefully stoked many of the narratives to portray American democracy as dysfunctional and untrustworthy. Politicians and influential media figures have in turn given foreign adversaries plenty of fodder to work with, inciting and amplifying divisiveness for partisan advantage.

American views of China hit record low, poll finds, as animosity grows (Washington Post) Americans’ views of China have hit a record low, dropping significantly even in the last two years, with a majority of people saying that the U.S. should work to actively limit the growth of China’s power, according to a poll conducted by the Chicago Council on Global Affairs. This tide of distrust against China grew during the Trump administration’s trade war and escalated during the covid-19 pandemic. It has persisted as Chinese and U.S. leaders jockey for geopolitical points on the world stage. The poll, which asked participants to rate their feelings toward China from zero to 100, found that Americans on average responded with 26, down from 32 in 2022—the lowest number recorded since the organization starting polling in 1978, before the two countries established diplomatic relations.

Greenland gears up for tourists (WSJ) As European hot spots become overcrowded, travelers are digging deeper to find those less-populated but still brag-worthy locations. Greenland, moving up the list, is bracing for its new popularity. This month United Airlines announced a nonstop, four-hour flight from Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey to Nuuk. The route, beginning next summer, is a first for a U.S. airline, according to Greenland tourism officials. The possible coming surge of travelers presents a challenge for a vast island of 56,000 people. Nuuk has just over 550 hotel rooms, according to government documents. Greenland is an autonomous territory of Denmark more than three times the size of Texas. Tourists travel by boat or small aircraft when venturing to different regions—virtually no roads connect towns or settlements.

Facing trial or going to war (BBC) It has been long known that Russia is recruiting its own prisoners to fight in Ukraine. But a BBC analysis shows how the initial focus on convicted criminals has shifted to include people yet to face trial. At about 06:45 on 28 March, police arrived at Andrey Perlov’s house near Novosibirsk in Siberia. They accused him of stealing about three million roubles ($32,000; £24,000) from a Novosibirsk football club where he was the managing director—he and his family deny this. Perlov, who is 62, is an Olympic gold medalist, having won the 50km race walk in 1992. He has been detained for more than six months and his family says he is being pressured to agree to fight in Ukraine. He’s been told that, in return, the embezzlement case against him would be frozen and potentially dropped when the war ends.

G7 allies are moving ahead with a $50 billion loan for Ukraine backed by frozen Russian funds (AP) Ukraine will receive $50 billion in loans, backed by frozen Russian assets, from Group of Seven allies, the White House said Wednesday. Distribution of the money will begin by year’s end, according to American officials who said the United States is providing $20 billion of the total. Leaders of the wealthy democracies agreed earlier this year to engineer the mammoth loan to help Ukraine in its fight for survival after Russia’s invasion. Interest earned on profits from Russia’s frozen central bank assets would be used as collateral.

Trash carried by a North Korean balloon again falls on the presidential compound in Seoul (AP) Trash carried by a North Korean balloon fell on the presidential compound in central Seoul on Thursday in a second case raising concerns about the vulnerability of key South Korean sites during potential North Korean aggression. The incident comes after the rival Koreas ramped up threats and rhetoric against each other over North Korea’s claims that South Korea flew drones over its capital Pyongyang to scatter propaganda leaflets this month. No dangerous items were found in the rubbish that was dropped on the ground when one of the North Korean balloons burst over the South Korean presidential compound on Thursday morning, South Korea’s presidential security service said in a statement. North Korea has sent thousands of balloons carrying bags of rubbish like plastic and paper waste into South Korea since late May in a resumption of a Cold War-style psychological campaign.

Indonesia says its coast guard drove away Chinese ship that interrupted survey in disputed sea (AP) Indonesian patrol ships drove a Chinese coast guard vessel away from a survey vessel in a disputed area of the South China Sea for the second time in four days, Indonesian authorities said Thursday. Indonesia’s Maritime Security Agency said the Chinese ship twice approached the MV Geo Coral, interrupting a seismic data survey being conducted by the state energy company PT Pertamina in a part of the South China Sea claimed by both countries. China’s “nine-dash line,” which it uses to roughly demarcate its claim to most of the South China Sea, overlaps with a section of Indonesia’s exclusive economic zone that extends from the Natuna Islands. Indonesia does not have a formal territorial dispute with China over the South China Sea but has become increasingly protective of its rights in the region, while Chinese ships have regularly entered the area Indonesia calls the North Natuna Sea, fueling tensions between the countries.

Turkey strikes Kurdish militant targets in Syria and Iraq for a second day (AP) Turkey struck suspected Kurdish militant targets in Syria and Iraq for a second day on Thursday following an attack on the premises of a key defense company which killed at least five people, the state-run news agency reported. The National Intelligence Organization targeted numerous “strategic locations” used by the Kurdistan Workers’ Party, PKK, or by Syrian Kurdish militia that are affiliated with the militants, the Anadolu Agency reported. The targets included military, intelligence, energy and infrastructure facilities and ammunition depots, the report said. A security official said armed drones were used in Thursday’s strikes. On Wednesday, Turkey’s air force carried out airstrikes against similar targets in northern Syria and northern Iraq, hours after government officials blamed the deadly attack at the headquarters of the aerospace and defense company TUSAS, on the PKK. More than 30 targets were destroyed in the aerial offensive, the defense ministry said.

Satellite imagery reveals intensity of Israeli bombing in Lebanon (BBC) Israel's intensified bombing campaign of Lebanon has caused more damage to buildings in two weeks than occurred during a year of cross-border fighting with Hezbollah, according to satellite-based radar data assessed by the BBC. More than 3,600 buildings in Lebanon appear to have been damaged or destroyed between 2 and 14 October 2024. The Israeli military says air strikes in Lebanon are targeting Hezbollah infrastructure. Wim Zwijnenburg, an environmental expert from the Pax for Peace organisation, warned that the bombing was "creating a ‘dead zone’ in the south of Lebanon to drive out the population, and making it difficult for Hezbollah to re-establish positions, at the cost of the civilian population". Lebanon's government says up to 1.3 million people have been internally displaced by the strikes.

The ‘Greater Israel’ movement (The Week) The Jerusalem Post sparked controversy last month by publishing—and quickly deleting—an article questioning whether Lebanon and parts of other Middle Eastern countries are part of Israel’s “promised land”. “Is Lebanon part of Israel’s promised territory?” asked Mark Fish in the piece, published on 25 September, which coincided with Israel’s assault on Lebanon and subsequent ground invasion. Fish suggested that the land promised to the “children of Israel” in the Torah includes not only modern-day Israel, but the West Bank, Gaza and parts of Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Iraq and Turkey. Critics have seen the article’s publication and timing as evidence of “expansionist ambitions in the region” among a right-wing movement in Israel, said Middle East Monitor (MEM). “Greater Israel” typically refers to “the notion of expanding Israel’s territory and sovereignty” to what proponents of the ideology see as its “historic Biblical land”, said MEM. The term has “come to mean very different things to different groups”, said Adrian Stein in The Times of Israel. “In Israel and the diaspora today”, the term is generally understood to mean “extending Israel’s sovereignty to the West Bank (of the Jordan River)” and, in some interpretations, the previously occupied territories in the Sinai Peninsula and the Golan Heights. But for some, Greater Israel means “from the ‘Euphrates to the Nile’,” a swathe of land “greatly exceeding the existing State of Israel in size and area”.

People in northern Gaza running out of means to survive, U.N. says (Washington Post) Israel’s intensifying military assault on northern Gaza has pushed areas of the enclave to the edge of humanitarian collapse, according to U.N. and aid officials, with the area’s last functioning hospital close to failing, emergency responders unable to move freely and food supplies dipping toward dangerous levels after a near-total blockade on aid deliveries to North Gaza since the beginning of the month. “People suffering under the ongoing Israeli siege in North Gaza are rapidly exhausting all available means for their survival,” U.N. Secretary General António Guterres tweeted Wednesday. Conditions have deteriorated in the weeks since the Israel Defense Forces launched a renewed offensive in parts of northern Gaza, an area where more than 400,000 civilians are estimated to be living amid destroyed buildings and shattered infrastructure. Basic functions in the worst-hit areas are collapsing, residents and aid workers said. Some medical supplies are now in such short supply that doctors are forced to choose which of the injured to treat, according to Mohamad Wadi, the deputy project coordinator for Doctors Without Borders in Gaza. “My colleagues tell me that now they have to decide which patient can we help, which ones we leave to die,” Wadi said by phone from Gaza City.

IDF could be committing war crimes in northern Gaza, former adviser says (BBC) Eran Etzion, a former deputy head of Israel’s National Security Council, is warning that the country’s forces might be committing war crimes in northern Gaza. Mr. Etzion, a former soldier himself, is suggesting that officers and troops should reject illegal orders. “They should refuse. If a soldier or an officer is expected to commit something that might be suspected as a war crime, they must refuse. That’s what I would do if I were a soldier. That’s what I think any Israeli soldier should do,” he tells me. He is speaking out as a former soldier, as someone whose children served in the IDF, and whose family and friends still serve. “I want to make sure that no soldier is involved in anything that could be constituted as a war crime,” he says.

[scriptaed]

bygones of the sun. 01 (m)

genre: angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

pairing: reader x hoseok;

length: 10.4k;

synopsis: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

a/n: a repost of my old fic!

There are different types of crushes in the small world of your university; some crush on the most materialistic things like his looks, outfits, and wealth, whereas others crush for the sake of blending in with the rest of their friends whom never seem to stop fawning over him as he walks by without a clue of their batting eyes. And even though you’re just one of the countless girls waiting and watching and hoping for just a mere glimpse of him around campus, you like to think that you’re different from the rest.

Jung Hoseok is one of the very rare few who has managed to capture your heart. He’s the captain of your school’s dance club, the son in law any parent can only dream of in the the sweetest of dreams, and the notorious heartthrob whose mere presence melts any girl into a puddle of unrequited, mushed feelings. And out of all the choices you have in this ever growing community of yours, you just have to fall for him—the most popular one in the market.

From the light jump in his every step which bobs to the inaudible beats echoing in his eardrums both inside and outside of practice to the mysterious dark tint laid hidden beneath his warm, brown eyes which makes you internally scream for help if you’re even lucky enough to meet his gaze, everything he does makes it impossible to deny the overwhelming charisma that just oozes from his very being.

But despite all the unbelievably attractive sides to him which pulls girls at every corner of the school, what truly captivates you isn’t his alluring gaze or his breathtaking dances but rather the subtle, heartwarming sides to him not many know him for. The way he stops in the middle of the hallway to help a stranger gather the dozens of pencils someone else had carelessly knocked out of his hands, the way he welcomes each and every student to the dance club regardless of their popularity or experience, and the way he smiles as bright as the sun from ear to ear even though you just know the burdens that come with being the upcoming dance captain must be gnawing away at his very patience are what makes him different from the others.

A year and a half of crushing on this boy whose league is on an entirely separate level of yours, and you still have no regrets…

...even if to him, you’re just another one of his many fangirls.

Nonetheless, you still remember the exact day you fell for him. The fateful night starts on October 20th, just another usual Friday after class.

-

Striding down the hallways with notebooks in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, you take a deep breath and sigh to release the pent up stress and tension that had crept up into your aching shoulders. You’ve just finished sitting in on a one and a half hour long lecture before gathering your things as you bid your good friend, Junghwa, goodbye and exit the musty classroom. The halls are much dimmer than usual due to the school’s constant delay of fixing the flickering ceiling lights, but luckily the fluorescent light flooding through the clear windows from the rising moon is enough to keep you from heading astray on your way back to the dorms.

If it weren’t for Junghwa, you would’ve dropped out long ago and opted for your daily naps after class, because after all, night lectures have become the bane of your existence—or at least up until the few hours left of tonight. Because at the end of the hall is the dance studio where the renowned dancer of the school practices in every Friday night, and what awaits you at the end of the lengthy hall is a memory which will continue to burn in every second of your conscious for the years to come.

Approaching the light which rushes out of the ajar door of the practice room, you slow down your pace, hide behind the mask of the door, and peek your head out to glimpse at the charming boy you’ve heard of from all corners of the school. You’ve done this countless times before; the blaring, bass heavy music which blasts from the room and into the halls became the first reason to your rising curiosity, and the undeniable force and tug of your heart which pulls you towards the room in anticipation of the closing proximity between you and the boy becomes your second, inexhaustible reason to your growing affections. And usually you’d take a quick peek and gape in awe before departing from your short detour to head home, but tonight, things seem to take an unexpected turn—whether for the better or worse, you still can’t decipher.

“Are you going to keep standing there or are you going to come in and dance with me?” the boy teases with a light, playful tone to his out of breath voice. 

The swift, unbelievably intricate movements of his manage to strike you silent as you stare on in awe, a few seconds passing by as you failed to register that the dart-like focus of his intense gaze at the mirrors before him had disappeared when he paused his routine to divert his attention to the girl shyly standing behind the doors.

“H-huh?” you stutter with widened eyes.

“Are you here to spectate or dance?” he grins while repeating the question. With cheeks raised and radiance flashing from his award worthy smile, sweat trickles down his forehead to his temples and peaks through the hanging armholes of his muscle tank. And before you knew it, all the air within your lungs are knocked out and any form of coherent words are slipped from your scrambled mind. He gives you a throaty chuckle, his eyes forming elegant crescents as he did so, and walks over towards you to swing the door wide open. His sudden actions catch you off guard as the loss of balance causes you to tumble forward into the room. “Wanna join me?”

His hands are reached out towards you for you to take and an expectant grin adorns his soft, smooth lips, but there is nothing neither you nor him can do to snap you out of your daze. You point at yourself and peer up at him with blankly blinking eyes, knees feeling weak, and butterflies fluttering nonstop in your stomach. “M-me?”

“I don’t see anyone else here,” he chortles, peeking out into the hallway as though to search for your partner in crime. He turns back at you to grin even wider, one hand on his hips and the other running through his dark brown hair. “Yeah, you.”

“I-um-I can’t dance,” you blurt out with the shake of your head. A gulp runs down your knotted throat with every second he gazes down at you with the warm, half lidded eyes of his from above. Now you understand everything everyone had been swooning over; a mere glance of his and you’re already melting onto the floor in awe. He’s simply oozing of charm.

“That’s fine. I can teach you,” he assures you with his velvety voice which only makes your heart flip a thousand times. He grabs your hand and engulfs you with a kind of warmth indescribable by words, pulling you farther into the room and gently kicking the door closed behind the two of you in the empty dance studio. His slender, lengthy fingers intertwine so perfectly with yours and his hold is so firm and unhesitant that you’re forced to convince yourself that he’s either done this a thousand times before or he’s not even a bit as phased by your presence as you are by his.

The boy gently pulls you towards the center of the wooden dance floor before turning the both of you to face the mirrors which surrounds and lines every wall in the room. “The name’s Hoseok,” he chimes, needlessly introducing himself even though over half the students in this damn school knows of him. “You?”

“Huh? Me?” your eyes pop open as you foolishly gawk at him in silence. Is the Jung Hoseok really asking you for your name? Does this mean the two of you are officially acquainted? What will the rest of the girls do if they are to find out about tonight?

“Have you forgotten your name already?” Hoseok laughs raising his brow and stretching his already grinning lips in a gesture to patiently wait for your answer. The longer you lock eyes with him, the hotter your cheeks become. You swear looking into the mirrors will only confirm your suspicion and your heart rate skyrockets just thinking that Hoseok can more than likely notice the burning red tints of your cheeks.

“Oh, um, Y/N,” you bashfully glance down at the ground.

“Well, Y/N,” his gaze never leaves you as he chimes, “let’s learn how to dance, shall we?”

Time passes by quicker than you wished for it to be, albeit the moments when he passes on the spotlight to you and intently observes your very own dance moves manages to drag each second into agonizingly slow ticks of the clock as your cheeks burn brighter than the sun on a clear summer day.

The music continues to loop in the background as he strides around you in circles, the heavy bass vibrating from the blaring speakers in the four corners of the room and making its presence known in your eardrums. With his fingers cupping his chin and his eyes narrowing to scan your still body up and down, he intently observes and pinpoints corrections needed to be made of the pose you’re striking.

“Not bad, not bad,” Hoseok muses with the bob of his head. Taking a step forward, he gently props his fingers under your right elbow to raise your arm an inch higher. “There. Perfect.”

He’s circling around you, poking at your arms and nudging your legs with his feet until finally reaching a satisfactory point in perfecting this split second of a two minutes worth of choreography. Through your peripherals, you can see the crease between his furrowed brows and the dark focus of his eyes gazing down at your straining legs, and you can’t help the blood which rushes to your cheeks and flows from your pumping heart. Something about the way he’s so passionate of his work, so patient in sharing it with others outside of his world of dance, and so focused in perfecting every single second of a routine neither he nor you would be performing in front of others, something about his everything makes your heart hammer against your chest and your lungs struggle for oxygen.

With sweat trickling down his drenched bangs and eyes down at the floor, it’s impossible for you not to succumb to your inner desires as a mysterious force constantly pulls your line of sight towards his. And so being the indiscrete person you are, you take a quick glimpse at Hoseok and it takes everything in you not to burst out in squirms from the overwhelming butterflies which flutter throughout your entire system. You’re averting your eyes between him and the mirror lying a few feet in front of you when they finally lock gazes with his on its fifth round trip back to paradise.

“Is there something on my face?” he quirks a brow, releasing a small chuckle from his crooked smile. He cups your chin with his fingers and turns your head towards the mirror in front of you. “You should be looking there, not here.”

The knot in your constricted throat prevents you from an easy gulp as your widened eyes meet the ones in your reflection. Did Hoseok really just catch you staring at him with ogling eyes? Why on earth are you stupid enough to even consider the possibility of getting away with your more than obvious glances? But before you’re allowed enough time to panic over your idiocy, Hoseok takes a few steps back before breaking the silence held between the two of you.

“Ba, ba, ba,” Hoseok calls out the beats to the track echoing in the enclosed room, swiveling through the choreography like it’s just another one of the routines he can do in his sleep. And so, you follow along with his motions, putting every bit of effort and courage into your movements in an attempt to keep up with him.

Staring at the mirror, it’s impossible for you not to notice the evident gap in skills between you and the soon to be dance captain. And to be quite frank, there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent your confidence from crumbling and your self consciousness from growing regardless of how reassuring and patient Hoseok has been treating you throughout the session.

But even through all that, even through how tightly clamped your lips are and how flared your cheeks are in embarrassment, a part of you manages to convince yourself that this is a once in a lifetime experience. It’s better to be teased down to your very bones than to catch split second long glimpses of this boy for the rest of your duration in school. Not many get to be as close to Hoseok as you are at this point in time; so as much as you’re mentally beating yourself for your major mistake, a larger part of you is grateful enough to have Hoseok’s teasingly lighthearted laughs become soft music to your ears.

Seconds become minutes, minutes become hours, and before you know it, the both of you are sprawled across the dance floor and panting for your life.

“I’m exhausted,” you barely manage to say through countless huffs. Your cheeks are burning red for a different reason now; somehow along the way, Hoseok had managed to pull you out of your shell and convince you to show him everything you’ve got without a trace of worry in your head. Wiping your dry forearm across your forehead drenched with your sweat, you let out a loud sigh along with the tension piled within your chest. “I’m sorry captain, but I don’t think I can move.”

Hoseok turns his head as he lied down next to you on the floor, giving you a throaty chuckle at your remark. “I think you’ve done enough to deserve a break,” he presses his lips into a lopsided smile, “let’s call it a day then.”

“Thank God,” you breathe out, shutting your eyes and allowing yourself to finally rest in peace.

“But in return...” he interrupts your short lived rush of relief, and your eyes pop open with worry. He lightly cackles at your reaction, a smile stretching from ear to ear plastering across his face. “...you have to join the club.”

“You’re kidding,” you scoff, gawking at him despite the batting eyes of his. You cross your arms over your chest and quickly shake your head. “No way. I only agreed to tonight’s session because you literally dragged me into this.”

“Only because you were standing outside and peeking in,” he defends himself with widened eyes, as though he’s being accused of the highest of crimes. “I asked you what you were doing, but you didn’t say anything! So I thought that maybe you were just too shy to ask about the club. It’s happened to lots of girls I see standing outside the room.”

You press your lips into a thin line and internally point out the flaw in his theory; the numerous girls he has spotted in the past weren’t there for club membership, rather they were there for the most clueless boy there could be… unless sightseeing the extravagant view of the upcoming dance captain counts as a club.

“Surely, you don’t actually think they’re here for that, do you?” you frown.

He breaks into a short series of laughs, looking up at the ceiling with wandering eyes before turning back to return home to the gaze of you.

“No, but I like to think it’s for that reason,” he flashes the smile you’ve come to fall head over heels over and something in your chest falls when your heart practically melts into a puddle of indescribable feelings. He reaches out his pinky towards you, an expectant grin pairing up with the sunny expression of his crescent, smiling eyes. “So, is it a promise, Y/N?”

Pursing your lips, you stare at the long, slender pinky just an arm’s length away from you and shift to his glimmering eyes which never leaves yours for even a second. Even with the sweat glistening on every inch of his face and his sweaty hair slicked into narrow bundles of locks, he’s still smiling through it all like there’s no tomorrow. With him, you no longer believe in the cliches of the world. Terms like the calm before the storm are insignificant, because it’s simply inaccurate. Hoseok is the definition, the proof of that very belief; he breezes through the storm like the sun hidden beneath the gray clouds looming over the dark sky, and regardless of the storm’s havoc, the ball of everglowing shine retains its claim to its right of day. He’s practically as beautiful as the sun—no, he is the sun of your small universe.

And you just can’t deny the order of law, the undeniable forces of Mother Nature.

So without another second to waste, you reach your hand out to hook your pinky firmly around his; and it fits perfectly like the gravitational force between the moon and the sun.

“Alright, I promise.”

And just like you promised, you grab your first chance to fulfill your side of the offer on the very next Monday which arrives. Throughout the past few days since that fateful Friday night, you've been praying and jumping and squirming around your dorm with endless jitters that came from reminiscing over the two hours of time frame you had shared with Hoseok. The scene persisted to replay in the back of your mind, most of time making its presence well known when you'd randomly squeal in the middle of class and eliciting worried glares from Junghwa. And even at this very moment when you're walking down the halls and approaching the familiar doors, your heart is still jumping in both fear and hope for Hoseok to be there practicing his usual routines—and maybe just a small part of you wishes he's as hopeful to see you as you are to see him.

Peeking your head from behind the door, your eyes glide throughout the room, roaming around until it easily spots the boy who’s been the only one filling your head with thoughts that make you squeal and roll around in bed from overheating. All the sunlight create a spotlight on him and only him as it pours through the open blinds of the windows lining against the opposing wall and above the tall mirrors. Maybe it’s just your imagination, but you like to think that this one boy has gained the attention and admiration of even the sun itself. The sunlight shines against his dark brown hair, highlighting the golden hues underneath, and with his beaming smile which brightens the entire room, you swear he’s practically glowing.

Unfortunately for you, your arrival goes unnoticed as Hoseok’s focus remains unbroken; his eyes are on his own reflection in the mirror, never budging even an inch to glimpse at the newcomer, and his movements never halt for even a second to pay any attention to his surroundings. Instead, another equally famed member of the club approaches you from his side.

“Are you interested in joining our club?” the girl enthusiastically questions with the most welcoming of smiles adorning her lips, her voice as raspy as the dry desert and as sleek as the starless midnight skies.

Your eyes pop as they scan her up and down, gawking when you finally register the fact that the current captain of the dance club is standing right before you. She’s towering over you as she peers down at you with her back upright but her shoulders slightly slouched enough to enforce the aura of her naturally casual aura. The toned muscles of her incredibly long legs are emphasized by her tight black running shorts, a white crop top ending just above her belly button reveals the abs every boy and girl at school continues to ogle over, and her short, black hair paired along with her sharp winged cateye epitomize the very definition of chic. She’s confident in every way possible, and you can’t help but gasp in awe.

There’s no way you can compete with a girl like her. Hoseok must be one of the many boys swooning over the ever so popular dance captain, especially when she’s the very person preparing him for his takeover of her role. You just can’t. You figure you have to give up or this will just end up in even more heartbreak incited by false hopes later down the road.

“U-um, no,” you quickly shake your head after a sudden change of plans, averting your eyes to the ground when you realize just how long she’s been smiling at the more than obvious admiration flickering in your shifty gaze.

“Oh, c’mon. Are you sure you don’t want to? I promise it’ll be fun!” she encourages.

“N-no, I’m good. Thanks though,” you quickly mumble, but the second your refusal slips from your lips, you’re crestfallen by your own conflicting decisions. Contrary to the first few minutes where you had just met Hoseok, now you’re actually dying with utter desire to join the club—especially if it means more chances to catch glimpses of the ethereal allure of Hoseok. And so before you know it, you’re leaning ever so slightly to your right to catch a last, longing glance at the boy who now seems like a distant dream.

The captain cocks her head to the side, the choppy ends of the bangs of her bob cut swaying along the force of gravity as she blinks at you with intently observing eyes. “Ah… you’re here for other reasons, aren’t you? Well, you’re not the first, and you surely won’t be the last. Hobi sure is popular,” she remarks with the purse of her lips.

Your head snaps up to stare at her wide eyed, attempting to convey to her the fallacy of her claim despite just how accurate it actually is. But even though ever part of you is urging your lips to formulate the words to deny her statement, all that runs through your head is a thought which tugs at your heartstrings for a reason unbeknownst to you. 

Ah, she called him Hobi. 

Is that his nickname? Is that what the fellow members of the club calls Hoseok? Or is it a name reserved for the soon to be former captain and her replacement? As guilty as it makes you for believing you’re entitled to even have an opinion on their relationship, you still can’t help the twisting of your guts and the drop in your stomach at the thought of just how fondly they must treat each other.

You’ve never been the jealous type before, but it blows your mind with utter disappointment at no one but yourself for how heartbroken you are over a boy you barely know.

Fortunately for you, the captain points a thumb over her shoulder and back at the boy hard at work dancing in the background in a successful attempt to regather your diverting attention before you can delve into a pitfall of toxic jealousy and yearning for something that never belonged to you in the first place. “I’ve never offered this to any of the other girls before, but you’re special. I’ll let you in here as long as you don’t tell Hoseok your true motive,” she winks at you with the click of her tongue, lowering her voice into a whisper. “It'll be just like a front seat view of a booked concert.”

You gulp at her enticing offer. How can she so easily see right through you? Not only is she exuding of confidence and unreal grace but she's also as charismatic and kindhearted as her pupil. Both you and the rest of the entire University know she's a literal goddess. There's nothing not to like. Pursuing—no, even befriending Hoseok when there's already someone like her by his side is a lost cause bound to an inevitable heartache.

“Oh, I'm alright. Really,” you let out a nervous laugh and shake your hand in refusal before clearing your throat, “I-I have to get to class now.”

She quirks a brow at your sudden departure, an amused grin adorning half of her lips. “Well okay, but if you ever change your mind, feel free to contact me. Just ask around here for Keiko.”

You quickly nod with a timid, pressed smile before giving her a small wave goodbye and scurrying off down the hallway. Ducking your head low with your eyes glued to the ground, you pass by the incoming students actually on their way to class, whereas you retreat back to your dorms. Every step you take only worsens the itch within you to return to find Keiko and take up her tempting offer.

What makes it even worse is the panging guilt which causes a toll on your dragging feet when you recall just how overjoyed and radiant Hoseok had been smiling the other day after convincing you to join him in the club. What would you do if you were to ever face him again? Who are you to entitle yourself to another meeting with the ever so popular boy before countless girls lining up by the dance room? Especially when you can’t even keep your side of the promise? And so without another hesitation in your heavy footsteps, you bury your inner desires into the back of your mind and persist to distance yourself as far as possible from him.

It’s a foolish idea anyways. Joining a club and dancing for the sake of—what? Befriending the boy you’ve been crushing on for a year now? You’re certainly not the first one, and as Keiko said before, you won’t be the last. What exactly are you hoping for anyways? Friendship? Or something beyond that? You ask yourself all these pointless questions despite knowing the answers to them all. 

And as much as you hate to admit it yourself, you know you’ve been dreaming of developing something beyond mere friendship; you've secretly been hoping that somehow you’d be different from the dozens of other girls who wishes for the same dreams. But you aren’t different. Harsh reality reminds you that, no, this isn’t a fairy tale, and you most certainly aren’t the main the character waiting to be swept off of her feet by prince charming.

So instead, you make a vain attempt in convincing yourself that you’re content with admiring from afar. These longing feelings of yours will be buried deep into the past along with the memories of that very night you just can’t seem to throw away despite how much you know they’ll come back to bite you with guilt and regret over a decision you made from insecurity.

You repeatedly tell yourself it’s a minor, temporary flutter of affections that will pass with time, and yet you can still remember every last detail of his imagery in spite of it all. The hairband peeking from underneath his slightly crimped hair which reflects a golden shine off the sunlight, the black and golden sweatshirt and basketball shorts which sway every which way of his movements, and the breathy pants and smiles as he dances to his heart’s content, you remember everything.

And even though you promise yourself that you'll never venture further into these developing affections for the school's heartthrob, the memory of the bright sun still burns in the back of your mind for many more months to come; because at some point in time, he became the sun of your universe, and the sun never strays too far from its galaxy.

-

Keeping to your promise, it's been nearly a year since you last saw Hoseok during dance practice. It was nearly impossible for you not to succumb to the nagging feeling which tugged at every inch of you to pay Hoseok the shortest of visits, even you are surprised by how long you held out in the past months. But luckily for you, other than occasionally seeing him around campus outside of the dance room, the only connection you and the other girls had with him was by word of mouth.

At first, the start of the new school year started off with constant stream of news regarding the new dance captain and his crew’s plans for the upcoming season. Everyone was buzzing with excitement and anticipation for the undeniable talent soon to come. As much as Keiko, the previous captain of the team, was loved, people were looking forward to the fresh ideas Hoseok had been planning for months. And to your relief, he held up to this expectations—in fact, he blew any sort of competition or wariness out of the water, proving he was indeed deserving of the position. You were proud, so incredibly proud of him despite barely even having a connection to the thriving captain. But nonetheless, you were beaming with pride for at least a month long into the school year.

Then came the second half of the year when commotion died down and news of Jung Hoseok dissipated into thin air. Lately, you haven't heard much from Junghwa who always seems to have the latest update on practically everything. The club's activities have been depleting along with the whereabouts of its captain. Heavy bass and catchy beats no longer blare from the now empty dance room. You've never stepped into the room for longer than the duration of your time with Hoseok, but the sudden change of its atmosphere even saddens you at heart.

Some say he's switched majors and others say he's ran out of inspiration, but the most “accurate” or “confirmed” rumor as Junghwa likes to call it is that he's simply taking a break to pick up his pitfall of grades. You know rumors aren't the most reliable sources, but they're the only things which make you feel at ease and relieve you of the constant urge to run up to him to apologize for your year long delay, making sure that reality lines up with rumors. Because even if you wanted to find him for these reasons, you wouldn't know where to start searching.

Fast forward a couple of months to make a full year since that one night which remains lingering in the back of your conscious and you’re now sitting at a cramped up restaurant with drinks in your hands and friends who’ve taken one too many shots surrounding you. Tonight is just another one of the many nights out with your gals, drinking away your worries and heartache until one or the other begins to collapse and you end up having to restrain yourself to bring them home. Nonetheless, nothing stops you from coming out to have a good time with your friends and neither do others, as this is a popular store for nearly bankrupt students at your university.

Clinks of utensils against plates and cups against cups fill the rowdy atmosphere as you and Junghwa join in by doing a round of cheers. With the dim ceiling lights brightening the red wine hues of the four walls and meat constantly sizzling in the background before a metallic cooking pan on each of the six rectangular tables in the store, you and your friends down yet another shot of beverage—some consisting of alcohol and others, like you, absent of said content.

“Cheers for surviving another semester of pure torture!” Junghwa shrills happily in her drunken state, eyes squeezed tight and mouth agape as she raises her cup triumphantly into the air.

“Cheers to Junghwa for not failing school!” Hani squeals, leaning in from across the table to clink her glass cup against yours. Junghwa snaps her head to glare and gawk at Hani, obviously offended by her friend’s remark.

“Oh yeah? Well cheers to Hani for finally getting herself a boy and not dying alone!” Junghwa huffs, roughly tinkling her cup with yours and nearly spilling your soft drink all over your jeans.

“Or how about you two get ahold of yourselves? You almost spilled my drink,” you exasperate, grimacing at the pout on their faces. Sipping what little is left in your cup, you slam it onto the table and loudly sigh. “Are you guys free this weekend? I don’t have anything tomo-”

“-yah, isn’t that Jung Hoseok and his friends?” Junghwa interrupts you with a hiss, her eyes popping open along with Hani’s gaping mouth.

“What?” you knit your brows, turning your head to glare at your friend and avoiding the possibility of locking gazes with the boy you’ve been avoiding for months now.

“Where? Where?” Hani exclaims, leaning into the table.

“Yah, yah, yah, don’t be too obvious-”

“-yahhh, it really is!” Hani gasps in amazement after ignoring Junghwa by doing the exact opposite of what she requested, whirling around to narrow her impaired eyes at the table behind her before hustling back around. Contrary to your spike of panic, Junghwa only rolls her eyes and lets out a series of giggles under her breath.

“Hani! Stop yelling,” you sternly hush through gritted teeth.

Hani clamps her lips shut and lowers her head apologetically, “oops, sorry. But aren’t you going to look?”

“Why would I?”

But contrary to your words, curiosity gets the best of you when you hesitantly turn your head and your eyes slowly trail across the floor, up your table, and across the room where Hoseok and his friends are seated. With his turned head resting on his hands propped up by his elbows leaning against the table, he’s grinning and chatting along with his friends, and like always, he’s completely clueless as to just how many girls must have been staring at him in awe. But that only makes him ever the more attractive.

Because he’s just as breathtaking as you remember; his beautifully tan skin, his choppy, breathy laughs, and his unreal side profile of his dark brown locks and sharpest of jawlines. You’re gazing at him for so long that you can practically feel yourself getting lost in his universe, but you only slip in deeper after every reminder you give yourself to return to reality—or at least until he turns to lock eyes with you.

Nearly jumping out of your seat, your blood runs cold and your entire body turns stiff. He blankly blinks at you, both brows raised questioningly as you fail to look away despite telling every part of your body to do so. Endless streams of questions and panic hit you like a tidal wave at night where the forces are the strongest and coldest that everything within it freezes and nothing seems to make sense anymore.

Does he remember you? Does he actually remember that one girl who reluctantly accepted his open arms only to run off into nonexistence the very next day? Or are you just another one of the many girls whom he has extended a helping hand to? Are you not as special as you’ve always wished to be?

The numerous questions go unanswered when Hoseok simply lets out a small laugh, a lopsided smile adorning his soft lips as he continues to gaze into yours eyes with a look that practically spoke to you with meanings of a greeting. Your eyes widen at his acknowledgement of your presence and attempt to gulp down the knot that had formed in your straining throat.

“Y-yah, did he just smile at you? Jung Hoseok? Your crush since forever?!” Junghwa nearly yells, squealing under her breath as she grips tightly onto your arm and finally snaps you out of your daze.

“I-I don’t know. He must have been looking at someone else.”

“He did?! Where? Why? How? Were you throwing him those looks we’ve been practicing since forever?” Hani exclaims, completely ignoring your rebuttal. “I can’t believe you actually used them. It’s the perfect timing. I’m proud of you, Y/N.”

“Oh, shut up. It’s just the polite thing to do,” you convince Hani while trying to do the same to yourself. But it doesn’t matter how much your subconscious is nagging at you to ditch any foolish ideas formulating in your head right this very moment, because the butterflies in your stomach and the skip of your heartbeats are telling you otherwise. You want to hope, you want to dream, and you want to talk to him, get to know him, and make up for all the lost time you had so stupidly thrown away that night.

“Psh, polite. Jung Hoseok? Polite? I know you like him, Y/N, but flirting with every girl you pass by doesn’t exactly count as just polite,” Junghwa shakes her head.

“He’s not flirting…” you mumble with a frown plastered on your face.

“Aw, Y/N…” Hani sympathizes, placing a hand over yours. “Maybe he wasn’t like this before, or maybe he was, but I think the whole school knows he’s not nice just for ethical reasons…”

“He’s a player, Y/N. Player, play boy, bad boy… whatever you want to call it, but that doesn’t change how much he’s been around. But I guess rumors will be rumors until you confirm it with them themselves,” Junghwa presses her lips and sighs. She pats your back as though to comfort the drop of your stomach when you’re reminded of the rumors regarding Hoseok. Seeing your fallen expression, she bumps your arm with hers and lets out a hopeful giggle. “Cheer up, Y/N! Now that he’s finally noticed you, maybe you can finally confirm it yourself!”

“Yeah, cheers to Y/N!” Hani exclaims, raising her glass cup once again for the hundredth shot in a row.

You’re weakly raise your cup, eyes stripped of its previously blazing excitement and blood absent of adrenaline. Knitting your brows, you press your lips shut and give a last quick glimpse at the group of boys sitting across the room. Thankfully, Hoseok preoccupies himself by leaning into his friend with his hand cupped on one side as the two whisper a conversation which elicits a roaring laugh from his friend. Amidst all of the distractions within the restaurant, you can catch a few whispers of the words “truth or dare.”

“They’re such kids… who still plays that game in college,” you mutter under your breath, shaking your head in disapproval and allowing a soft laugh slip from your lips.

Luckily for you, both of your friends fail to pick up your mumbles when Junghwa begins yet another one of her usual hushed squealing. She roughly taps your hand and nudges you with her pointy elbows. “Yah, yah, yah, they’re looking at you, Y/N.”

“Again?” Hani’s eyes pop open before she gets up from her table and grabs Junghwa’s hand. “Come on, let’s give them some time alone. Good luck, Y/N!”

And without another word of explanation, giggles tumble from their lips as the two girls push each other towards the back of the store. The sudden departure leaves you choking on your water, turning your head and hoping with every ounce of you that Hoseok’s friends haven’t noticed whatever just occurred on your side of the room. But the absence of Hoseok’s group leaves you even more baffled, a bewildered expression plastering all over your face as a familiar hammering sensation pounds against your chest.

“Hey,” you hear someone murmur to your right.

“Huh?” you turn to find a lanky boy with the check in his hand. “Oh, I’ll just take that.”

“Yeah,” he gives you a half smile, handing you the check. But instead of leaving you some time alone to calculate your bills, he continues to stand there with intently watching eyes which only gives you the creeps.

“Is there something you need…?”

“Oh, yeah. I-um… your number. I need your number,” he stutters, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Oh,” you utter, blankly blinking at him. “Sorry. I’m not looking for anyone right now-”

“-it’s okay, I’ll wait! We can just start off as friends, I swear. Are you free tonight?”

“Sorry… I’m just not interested-”

“-how about tomorrow night?”

Pressing your lips into a line, you bite back every word that can possibly offend this ignorant boy standing before you. You’re pondering over all the ways you can turn down his offer without being impolite, but a part of you knows that there’s nothing you can do that wouldn’t fall upon deaf ears. And what makes it even worse is when you remember the situation your friends had placed you in, your head snapping in panic that Hoseok might have been observing the embarrassing situation before you—

“—she’s with me, kid,” a familiarly husky voice vibrates in your left eardrum as a heavy arm slings over your shoulders and envelopes you in warmth.

“H-huh?” the boy stammers, eyes popping open along with yours when you turn around to find Hoseok pulling you into his chest.

“You heard me,” Hoseok coos, pulling you even closer to him. With your head resting on his firm chest, you can hear and feel his heart pumping at the calmest of rates compared to yours. His cologne heavy scent sends a shiver down your spine, and yet finding you a place of solace and serenity amidst it all. “She’s with me.”

The boy frowns, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. “That can’t be true… you two were eating at different tables.”

“Our connection is so strong that we’re telepathic. We don’t need to sit together to communicate,” Hoseok retorts all too confidently, nearly making even you believe the two of you are actually together. “It’s true whether you like it or not, boy. So you can go on ahead now.”

The boy only stares at the two of you with discomfort settling in his frown.

“Go on. Shoo,” Hoseok waves the boy off to which the boy reluctantly complies. After a few seconds of silence, his arm continues to rest comfortably over your shoulders and you remain in your seat, snuggly in his embrace. But the longer the two of you sit without a word of acknowledgement, the stiffer you become.

“Thanks for helping, but you really didn’t have to step in…” you nearly choke out under your breath. A ball of flooding energy threatens to burst from inside, your chest filling with flutters that come from your flip flopping stomach. Is Jung Hoseok really sitting next to you right now? The school’s most popular boy? Next to you?

“Well, I couldn’t just sit by and watch the cringefest play out,” he chuckles, leaning back to prop his head up with an elbow against the table. He taps his fingers against your right shoulder and it takes everything in you not to break away from his gaze to glance at the beautifully shaped fingers which remain picture clear in your mind. “Plus, what would it say about me if I were to let such a pretty girl like you slip by for a guy like him?”

“Like him?” you utter with wide eyes, attempting to hide the growing smile dancing on the corners of your lips.

Hoseok only mirrors your action, a lopsided smile forming on his lips as he watches you shuffling nervously in your seat. “He’s probably a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not experienced and he’s just plain rude. You saw how he treated you.”

“I’m sure it’s just his first time asking a girl for her number…” you give him the benefit of the doubt despite agreeing with every little thing he says.

“Maybe,” he quips. His darkened eyes watch you stare down at the ground with your hands fumbling with the holes of your fashionably torn jeans, and despite doing your very best to avoid his piercing gaze, you can’t help but internally scream at how he’s still observing your every move with a calm behavior unlike yours. “Hey, say what, I’ll show him how it’s done.”

“W-what?”

Within the blink of an eye, the weight on your shoulders lift as his hands reach out to grab ahold of your phone laying on the other side of the table. And before you know it, he’s waving your phone in front of you with a teasing smile on his lips.

“I’ll trade your phone for your number,” he offers, voice velvety and sleek as if he’s done this thousands of times before.

Is he really asking for your number? Jung Hoseok? The Jung Hoseok? It takes everything in you not to break down in overwhelming excitement, but after holding your breath and swallowing the churning of your stomach, you somehow manage to produce a steady voice contrary to your internal one.

“That’s not smooth. That’s just blackmail,” you half scoff half laugh.

“Ah, indeed. But it’s much more effective, don’t you think?” he cocks his head with an amused grin.

Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and snatch your phone back.

“Number?”

Chuckling at your swift movements, Hoseok quirks a brow before nodding in acknowledgement. And so while he recites his number with the most monotonous tone ever, you save it into your phone under the name ‘Jung Captain,’ opting out of adding a small heart emoji at the end. All the while, he watches you with half lidded, darkened eyes, every inch of his alluring expression entices you with tingling sensations running across your body.

Hoseok’s lips curve upwards in an expectant matter when his phone rings, picking it up to glance at the unrecognizable number of yours on his glaring screen. You want to at least make a decent first impression, especially if it turns out he doesn’t recall you from that one night long ago, but the force which tugs at your line of sight overcomes your weak will and causes you to glimpse over at his phone.

But all of your efforts are in vain when your suspicions are confirmed by his next question.

“And your name, love?”

Ah, so he doesn’t remember.

Your chest sinks and you’re forced to take a deep breath in order to exhale your baited breath, allowing yourself time to recuperate from your moment of disappointment. What were you expecting anyways? How would he remember someone like you? Someone who left him and his promise hanging more than a year ago? Maybe it really is just you reminiscing over that one magical night. But it’s alright, as crestfallen as you are over the lost time and memories, the new opportunity which presents itself before you only rekindles new hopes for a one sided reconciliation.

“Y/N,” you say.

Hoseok cocks his head and flashes you a soft, lopsided smile. You know he’s probably said this to countless girls before, but you can’t help it when your heart skips a beat at his next words which will play over and over in your head for the next 24 hours.

“Y/N, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” he smirks, and time stops. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at seven, then?”

-

Junghwa [7:01 pm] I know you’ve had a crush on him since forever, and this is literally a dream come true for you, but just be careful! I don’t want him to play around with my best friend.

Junghwa [7:02 pm] But on that note, have fun! Tell me how it goes, okay?

Junghwa [7:05 pm] Update. Me. Every. Single. Ten. Minutes!!!

You [7:08 pm] Alright, alright. Calm down girl.

Junghwa [7:10 pm] Okay, but where is he?! I can’t believe he’s 10 minutes late... Drop him, Y/N!

Scoffing at your friend’s remarks, you shake your head and bury your phone into your purse. It’s chilly outside tonight, but that didn’t stop you from putting on the flirtiest, most form fitting dress you could find in the depths of your closet. You didn’t want to seem too desperate, but if you’re being completely honest, you are desperate to make a good impression. Maybe he doesn’t remember you, but that might be a good thing; now you can make an even better connection without seeming like a clueless girl staring at a boy with ogling eyes.

Soon enough, a black car drives by to park by the front sidewalks of your house, and you quickly get up from the bench of your front porch.

“Hey, you ready, gorgeous?” Hoseok calls out breathily, stepping out from his car and slamming his door shut before walking over to open the other door for you.

“Yeah, more ready than I’ll ever be,” you give him a small smile.

Walking down the driveway, you can feel Hoseok’s eyes roaming up and down your body, his darkened gaze just drinking in every single inch of you. Sure, you may have planned your outfit for this intent, but the reality of it all still makes you more nervous and self conscious than ever. Plopping down into the seat, Hoseok towers over you as he prepares to close the door. But instead, his brows furrow in confusion before glancing down at the classic analog watch wrapped around his wrist.

“Oh,” his face falls at the time. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so late, babe. Tonight’s on me, I guess.”

You’re just about to protest when he slams the door and strides over to the driver’s side, leaving you with the silence and your own thoughts.

...did he just call you babe?

“So where are we headed to?” he chimes, starting up the engine with a roar.

“I’m deciding?”

“Yeah. I want to do whatever you want,” he leans his head against the window, a smug smile plastering all over his expression.

You gulp, “I guess the movies then…?”

“The movies?” Hoseok quirks a brow at your suggestion. “I haven’t gone there since my first date.”

“Oh, that’s okay then. We can go somewhere else,” you blurt out.

“No, it’s fine, I just find it cute of you. Plus, it’s more about who you’re with than where you’re going, right? And I’d go anywhere with you, love,” he smirks, giving you a wink before slamming his foot against the gas pedal and zooming into the streets.

All kinds of jitters vibrate from every inch of your body. In the close vicinity of you and all of his personal belongings including sweaty tees and hoodies, you can catch the scent of him throughout the car. Your hand trails up to clutch at your panging chest, your heart rate accelerating at an all time high, because everything he does somehow manages to wrap you around the tips of his fingers and elicit the skip of your heart, and something in you just knows he knows it too.

-

The date goes by smoothly, much more smoothly than you anticipated your jittery nerves would be able to manage. Of course, there are exceptions when going on a date with someone like Hoseok—exceptions that you’ve never expected from the sweet, cheeky dance captain you met a year ago.

“Wanna watch something boring like Disney animations? Or do you wanna watch something exciting like Fifty Shades of Grey,” he would lean in and whisper into your ear, his lips grazing your earlobes and sending shivers down your spine.

“Disney,” you would blurt out in a panic.

Hoseok would just scoff at you, a smirk dancing on his lips as he nods before paying for the tickets and mumbling, “well that’s no fun. What’re we going to do for two hours then…”

...as if he was planning to do things other than watching the movie.

Then there came other times when you two would reach for the same spot of popcorn, or when your hand would bump into his on your right armrest, and he’d turn his head to quirk a brow at you to question your completely coincidental intentions. But to him, nothing is coincidental. He would then suddenly grab your hands in his, fingers firmly interlocking with yours and a rush of warmth engulfing every bit of you along with your melting heart.

“Girls like you love this kind of stuff, huh?” he would lean in to whisper against your ear, purposely brushing his lips against your ear before tucking a strand of hair behind your right ear.

And by the end of the night, you finally understand what the rumors have been based off of. Maybe Hoseok really has been making the rounds. He knows how to play you in the palm of his hands, and he knows how to make any girl’s heart flutter with joy over his sweet, honey-like voice.

He’s not a bad boy—or at least you don’t think he is. He’s kindhearted in every way—maybe that’s what makes someone a bad boy—but hints of the old him remains hidden in his beaming smiles. And God, as much as you hate to admit it, you’re still searching for that boy from a year ago. You’re not sure if you’ve fallen for the present bad boy, heartthrob Hoseok, but a part of you aches from wondering the whereabouts of the other boy you had fallen for.

Ten minutes before the end of the movie and you’re standing before the restroom sink, heart pumping like crazy and mind scrambling for an excuse or some sort of confidence to bring yourself back to the seat beside Hoseok. All of the moves and trick he’s been playing on you made you so distressed that you excused yourself to the restroom, repeatedly drying your hands with towels when your phone vibrates in your bag and you pick it up to take a quick glance at it.

Junghwa [9:02 pm] Girl. How’s it going???

Junghwa [9:04 pm] Where. Are. You?!?!

Junghwa [9:07 pm] I told you to update me!!!

You disregard the first three texts with the roll of your eye, but the next two texts are what causes you to pause and do a double take.

Junghwa [9:33 pm] Y/N… I need to talk to you… it’s really important.

Junghwa [9:35 pm] I’m guessing you’re busy, so I’ll just tell you now. I don’t know how to say this… but I heard Hoseok… your guys’ date… all of this tonight… I heard he has other motives behind it. Someone told me the guys were playing truth or dare last night, and they dared him to ask you out. Something about rounding the number of girls who’ve fallen for him to 10 or something. It’s dumb. It’s so fucking horrendous. And that’s not even all… I’m sorry, Y/N. He’s not worth it anyways.

What?

Your once scrambled mind only becomes even more hectic when you’re trying to process her words. Hoseok didn’t ask you out because he was interested, but rather, he used you for his own little game? You’re just another one of his toys meant for fulfilling him and his friends’ child play? That can’t be true. Not after all the signs he’s shown you tonight… right?

You [9:36 pm] What’s the other thing?

The twist of your guts and the strange ache, constriction of your chest and lungs are undeniably painful as you wait for her reply. You pace up and down the empty restroom, biting your nails and heaving your chest from long, baited breaths before scrambling back to your phone with a new message awaiting you.

Junghwa [9:38 pm] I heard, I don’t know if it’s true, but I heard he’s trying to use you to get with the last dance captain by making her jealous. I don’t know though, Y/N… I’m sorry.

Turns out, maybe the rumors are right after all. This night was too perfect to be true anyways. Of course things have to end up like this. But it’s alright, you tell yourself, you’ve only been talking to this boy for a day now. The one you truly like is long gone and forgotten in the past now. You tell yourself can get over it soon, but the numbing pain gnawing away at your chest never seems to cease as you wait for him outside of the theater.

Soon enough, Hoseok exits the room along with the relatively few number of audience members, eyes widening when he spots you right away. “Hey, babe, where’d you go?” he asks with a gentle smile, wrapping his arm over your shoulder and guiding you out of the theater and into the parking lot.

The word ‘babe’ only pierces your already fragile state. Why is he putting on a show? Why is he calling you these affectionate names when they mean nothing other than getting him closer to his goals?

You glance up at him from just a feet away, eyes gliding over his ethereal facial features and wondering just where the boy you had fallen heads over heels with had gone. There’s no way he could have changed this much, is there? The Hoseok you know wouldn’t treat girls like another one of his pawns, would he?

He opens the door for you like always, smiling at you with raised brows and plastering on that mask that he’s come to master throughout his time with his now worn out toys. You oblige and seat yourself into the car, but your mind doesn’t stop from wondering why he’s doing all of this in the first place.

Hoseok knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger. He knows everything that he’s done tonight has already won your heart, otherwise why would you be hurting like this? So why is he continuing with this act? Why put so much effort to act like a gentleman, to pull out a chair, to save you from assholes he hypocritically labeled as jerks? Why did someone so sweet turn out to be such a cold hearted, ignorant jerk like him?

“You like to play games, right?” you ask with shaky breath.

Hoseok turns to raise a brow at you. “Sure. Depends on what kinds of games. Games like seven minutes in heaven? Or games like hide and seek? I’m sure you prefer the latter.”

“No,” you straight up ignore his remark, “I mean games like truth or dare.”

“Oh? You like those kinds of games?” he muses, regripping the steering wheel. “Alright, let’s start with you then. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Bah, of course you would,” he teasingly groans. Leaning towards you, Hoseok takes a quick glimpse at you with a smirk on his lips. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

You hate yourself for the way your heart flips at his words.

“No,” you lie through gritted teeth. Hoseok only scoffs at your supposedly evident lie. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth, babe.”

“Do you still dance?” you question.

He pauses, and you notice the darkening of his eyes as he clenched his jaw. “Dance? Why the sudden curiosity?”

“I heard you used to dance,” you spit out yet another lie.

Where is he?

Where is the old Hoseok?

“I did,” he simply says, voice low and filled with an edge of annoyance. You let out a breath of relief, but it’s cut short when he taps his fingers against the wheel. “But I wasn’t great at it.”

A lie.

His phone buzzes and a series of text coming from a contact number simply labeled as ‘from the bar last week’ pops up on his screen. But before you can read it, Hoseok reaches over to turn off the glaring screen of his phone.

“Your turn. Since I already know you’re picking truth, then how was tonight? Genuinely speaking. You’re acting awfully odd right now. Did I mess up?”

“It was great. Amazing. You didn’t do anything wrong,” you deadpan. He only watches you with unamused eyes. Both of you are burning with annoyance at one another, one because you know just exactly what’s going on in his head, and the other because he didn’t know what is going on in your head. “Truth or dare?”

“...truth.”

“Did you ask me out because you liked me?”

Silence.

He clears his throat.

“Yes.”

Another lie.

Gulping the knot in your throat, you attempt to rapidly blink the tears welling up in your eyes away. A sob threatens to escape your lips, but with a deep breath in and out, you finally blurt out your next question.

“Alright, this is getting boring because I’ve been lying this whole time,” you nearly squeak with a shaky breath. “Sorry. Let’s start over, yeah? Ask me your first question.”

Hoseok’s brows furrow at your sudden change in behavior, but nonetheless, he complies with your orders. “Have you slept with anyone before…?”

“Nope. I’m a virgin. As simple as that,” you give him a bittersweet smile in an attempt to hide the quivering of your lips. “Do you still dance? No, have you danced before? Has dancing ever meant anything to you?”

The car comes to a stop, parking in front of your driveway as the engines go silent and time seems to go still. Hoseok reclines in his seat, turning to stare at you with half lidded, dark eyes, because he knows you’re up to something. And so, the pain of your chest becomes even more evident when he remains silent.

“Alright. Next question then. Did you ask me about because you were genuinely interested? Or is there something else I should know?”

His jaw tightens and his body becomes stiffer than ever. He’s glaring at you and you’re glaring at him, both silent and fuming with fury as time ticks by. He’s searching for answers over your 180 degree change in behavior, and you’re searching for answers to the whereabouts, the hidden story behind his change in persona.

After a few seconds of intense silence, he turns away with a sigh, running a hand through his hair before slamming his steering wheel.

“Yeah. I don’t know what else you want me to do, but I’m interested.”

And that’s when you come to a revelation.

This isn’t the Jung Hoseok you love. 

This is just another bygone of the setting sun.

[magicalforcesau]

Dancing with Ghosts in Your Garden~ Chapter 3: Year 1- October

ao3 link

The transition from summer to fall was always most evident in the midst of October and best seen on the front lawn leading up to the main entrance (no matter what Cody said about the Quidditch pitches). Satine always took special care to appreciate the beautiful weather while it lasted, understanding all too well that winter would be at their doorstep sooner rather than later. 

It gave studying (or in this case, procrastinating) a different atmosphere and one she could better enjoy with the company of two good friends. Aayla Secura and Stass Allie, who were both Ravenclaws of her year, were both behind on their respective assignments. Aayla often struggled to balance Quidditch with homework while Stass usually got into her own head to the point where she found it difficult to pick up a quill sometimes. Satine, herself, wasn’t actively behind, but used the time to edit Viz’s transfiguration essay on Animagi.

“Let’s take a break!” Aayla suggested for the third time that hour.

“Agreed!” Stass closed her textbook far too suddenly for anyone that believed they were to get anything done. “What do you guys want to do about Halloween?”

“You two do plan on passing fifth year, right?” Satine asked without looking up from the passage she’d been marking, “Because I’d hate to go to the trouble of finding two different girl best friends to pal around with in class.”

“Oh posh, we’ll figure it out.” Stass said, more like she was convincing herself rather than Satine, “Right?”

“Sure, if you focus for longer than 15 minutes at a time.” She squeezed her hand and inhaled the fresh soft breeze that swirled around them. “However, it is a lovely day and just looking at you both I can tell you won’t focus anyway… So, what’s up?”’

Aayla leaned forward on her elbows, a bright blue lekku falling over her shoulder as she did so. “As you both know, this is the first year we’re considered upperclassmen.”

“Seeing as we are no longer stuck in the middle of fourth year, yes, I’ve noticed.” Stass snorted, though seemed to already catch what Aayla was hinting at. 

Satine, who was half-dividing her attention to a hanging participle on Viz’s concluding statement, simply hummed in response. She loved her friends immensely, but they did tend to get easily distracted by mundane details. Not that there was anything particularly wrong about celebrating this fact, but when either talked about how ‘old’ they were getting, it only reminded Satine that their time was nearing thin at Hogwarts.

“And you know what that means…” She added.

“OWLS.” Satine responded blandly and Stass slid the parchment from underneath her and looked at her pointedly.

“What?” She asked.  

“Anyway,” Aayla continued, “That means we finally get to be invited to the Halloween bonfire this year.”

“Oh, brilliant.” Satine mused, “I’ve always been curious about those. Didn’t last year’s get sacked by Professor Windu for hosting a secret keg stand in the Forbidden Forest?”

“Sure did!” Stass said excitedly. “And you know with how rambunctious our year is that something is bound to happen.”

“I doubt I’ll be invited then. I’m a prefect!” Satine said.

Admittedly, she did really want to attend the bonfire. Despite its lesser popularity in England, Satine always enjoyed Halloween on principle. Dressing up, sweets, and the fresh crispness of a late autumn evening were all too appealing to resist. Plus, she was not easily frightened and could find humor in most horror films. 

“You’ll be fine!” Aayla waved her off. “You’re not a total stooge. If anything, it’s Kenobi that’s probably not in the best shape.”

She frowned, “Ben is not a stooge!”

“Of course you would say that.” Stass said coyly.

“And what, perchance, is that supposed to mean?” She shot back, feeling her face growing hot.

“He’s the most by-the-book person that’s ever walked the floors. Remember when he reminded Professor Yaddle about the homework when he’d been the only one who’d done it? I’m surprised he wasn’t walloped for that.”

“That was first year.” Satine complained, “He’s come a long way.”

“Yeah, and we all like him!” Stass said hurriedly, “Aayla bonds with him over Quidditch.”

“No matter how much he loathes it.” Aayla added.

“And we both share a predilection for Defense Against the Dark Arts! It’s just that you know, the troublemakers won’t be as easily convinced.”

“What’s he got to prove to them anyway?” Satine rolled her eyes, “It’s not enough that they’ve got to peak in primary school, but they’ve got to drag others down too? Who’s planning the party this year anyway?”

“Rumor mill says it’s Sora Bulq and his friends. Expectedly, it’s never anyone with any scholarly clout.” Aayla said matter-of-factly.

“Well, I’m going to have to have words with him then.” She said, “Diplomatically, of course, but to think you can go around choosing who can and can’t go to a school function is positively ridiculous.”

“But what if he decides not to invite you?” Stass asked, worried.

“I don’t want to go to any party where Ben is unwelcome.” She said and began packing up her things.

Aayla and Stass exchanged a look that was mighty suspicious to Satine, who was already fired up about this line of conversation. It was primitive to think that it was ever acceptable to exclude anyone for any reason, particularly when everyone else was there and would talk nonstop about it come that Monday morning. Whatever unspoken conspiracy that existed between her two friends would have to wait, because she was on her feet and storming up the hill before they could further comment. 

“Oh hell, she’s going to see to it that we never have one of these bonfires ever again, isn’t she?” Stass murmured.

“Yeah, we’re screwed.” Aayla said. 

***

Ever since Professor Palpatine had gifted it to him, Anakin had been all but glued to the enchanted map. As per their agreement, he never showed it to anyone and only studied it from beneath his bedsheets. It had been a lifesaver in terms of navigating his way around the halls. 

The map, like everything in the wizarding world, was enchanted to move in real time. At any time, he could see whoever moved around the school and where they were going. If this fell into the wrong hands (or right- prefects would have a field day), it could be used to exploit those that kept secrets.

And speaking of secrets, he couldn’t help but notice that every evening, Professor Dooku managed to vanish from the map altogether. At first, he assumed he aparated elsewhere, but apparition in Hogwarts was forbidden, even for professors. However, that theory was disproved when he casually brought it up to Obi-Wan, who told him that Dooku was one of the professors that lived on the grounds.

So… Where did he go?

There were so many hidden corridors and hallways that were not privy to students in the first place and Anakin yearned to see all of them. There was so much to uncover and unveil about Hogwarts and it was all sitting in a two-dimensional drawing in his hands. Perhaps, one day, he’d get the chance.

Not until Obi-Wan graduated, maybe, but it would happen.

***

Satine had enlisted Cody into her crusade just in case Bulq needed someone that was a little more physically imposing than a lanky blonde girl with pigtails. He was, expectedly, eager to help in this mission and was easily angered about the theory as well. Both had decided it was for the best to leave Obi-Wan out of the equation, since he’d never been fond of the prospect of anyone sticking their neck out for him like this. 

Still, she didn’t mind. She would have been mad if it had been anyone they were excluding… Even the likes of Hondo Ohnaka, who hardly ever seemed to take a bath. That morning, Hondo had excitedly expressed that he’d received an invitation, which matched the ones that Satine and Cody had also gotten. Obi-Wan had made no comment, but didn’t seem very bothered by it. Instead, he continued to eat his breakfast and try to dissect the scribble that was Anakin’s handwriting. 

“Not get an invitation? What the bloody hell is that about?” Cody asked as they stalked down the hall with a purpose that caused everyone to part the way. It was satisfying in a strange way.

“Because he’s a loser.” Sora Bulq laughed when they’d asked that very question.

“He is not a loser.” Satine said tightly, “If anything, you are the fool for failing to invite the biggest candidate for Head Boy of fifth year.”

“You’re lucky you were invited, muggle-born.” Bulq countered. “Not sure why you care much for him in the first place.”

Ventress, who stood not far off cackled, “She’s playing the part of the token muggle pet, Bulq. Please, let’s humor her.”

“Obi-Wan’s parents are extremely affluent.” Satine reconsidered her approach calmly, which drew a curious look from Cody. “And I’m sure they would not be happy to hear that their son was excluded from a social event that was formed by their greatest acquaintances’ children.”

Ventress stiffened at that. “And what exactly would you know about status?”

“I know that you don’t want to be the one to go toe-to-toe with the Kenobi’s, Ventress.”

The paler girl smiled menacingly, “Do they even know you exist? Why would they believe you anyway?”

“They might believe me.” Cody crossed his arms in a way that accentuated his biceps. He acted like he didn’t do it on purpose, but seeing how he was glaring at Bulq, he certainly was. It was certainly difficult to dispute that it worked. 

Bulq rolled his eyes, “Fine, whatever… But if he causes any funny business, I swear, Kryze, you will be the one hearing from me.”

“I’ve seen your wand work.” She raised an eyebrow, “So, I’m really not afraid of you.”

***

“Why are we doing this?” Whined Anakin as he slumped back in his seat to try and catch a better view of the window that glowed behind Obi-Wan. Compared to the radiant display of nature that existed peacefully outside, the room they sat in was dim and cold with only a black and white board between them.

“It’s important!” Obi-Wan said, “It places a good emphasis on patience, which judging by what Professor Windu tells me, you could use a little work on.”

Anakin crossed his arms and huffed, “So, I skipped ahead a little. I was only trying to get the guy to like me.”

“Accidentally setting Rex’s desk on fire is not the way to do that.” 

“I was trying to light the candle!” He complained, “The wind blew it out and I thought it would be an opportune time to display my skills… I just… Overshot it a little.”

“Mhmm.” Obi-Wan sized him up, “Qui-Gon and I started playing when I was your age. Wizard’s Chess is a very popular pastime in wizarding culture. You can sit back, relax, test your mind and spirit while chatting with a friend… Or foe.”

While Anakin definitely wanted to fit in more with his peers, he wasn’t sure chess was the right move for him. If they had video games, perhaps, he’d been more invested, but chess was still just chess… Even if the pieces moved on their own.

“Just cause you guys stick “wizard” in front of everything doesn’t make it special. You know that right?”

“Check mate.” Obi-Wan smirked as his bishop moved forward and physically slashed Anakin’s king into little crumbled pieces. “How do you not enjoy that?”

“Maybe because these pieces give awful advice.” He glared down at them. “Have they ever won before?”

“Well, that’s usually the set I use when I play Qui-Gon.” Obi-Wan winced, “So no, they’ve not seen a victory.”

Anakin opened his mouth to give him a colorful retort about the unfairness of those odds, but was interrupted by the storm that was Satine Kryze and Cody Fett as they burst into the room red-faced and waving an envelope.

“We’ve got it!” Cody beamed. 

“I see that.” Obi-Wan chuckled, “Just one question, what is ‘it’ that you have?”

Anakin was just relieved to be inadvertently rescued from another match of Wizard’s Chess, which was incredibly lazy since he didn’t even have to use his arms to move the pieces. He briefly wondered how there weren’t more overweight wizards and witches at the rate at which they avoided physically doing anything. 

“Your personal invitation to the Halloween bonfire.” Satine said as she smugly slammed it onto the chess board. 

Obi-Wan and Anakin both leaned over to see that yes, the orange and black cardstock was addressed to Obi-Wan and did, in fact, invite him to a party. 

“You didn’t tell me there was going to be a party!” Anakin said excitedly.

“Because there isn’t a party for you.” Cody said.

“It’s only for upperclassmen.” Satine added with that voice and look that said “so don’t even try it”.

Which to Anakin, made it all the more intriguing.

“I’m surprised I’m even invited, honestly.” Obi-Wan shrugged, “I’d already counted on not going. I signed up for the latest patrol.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Satine said sharply and she leaned forward with both hands firmly placed on the table, “You’re not slithering out of this one.”

“Yeah we went to a lot of-” Cody began hotly, but was elbowed in the gut by Satine, thus cutting off his statement.

“-Care to bring this to you.” She finished, though neither Obi-Wan or Anakin quite believed that’s what Cody was going to say.

“While I appreciate having my own personal mail carriers,” He joked to an unresponsive audience, “I am really not much for Halloween. Besides, everyone would have more fun if I wasn’t there anyway.”

“That’s not true!” Satine argued vehemently, “This is a rite of passage and you are not about to abandon us in favor of reading in your room and walking the halls. We’re not about to let you get in your own head about this.”

“Besides, it’s not like we’re going to tell your parents.” Cody rolled his eyes, “They’ll never know! The professors pretend not to know. If you don’t go, you’ll have a big “x” painted on you socially.”

“I think you’re both being a little dramatic.” Obi-Wan said carefully, but especially kept his focus on a very heated Satine. Even Anakin knew not to toil with the wrath of a frenzied woman, particularly if he didn’t have to.

“Dramatic? How are we supposed to have fun when we know you’re off somewhere moping and brooding?”

“I don’t brood.” He frowned, though Anakin knew his mentor did, in fact, brood.

“Whatever,” She rolled her eyes. “Excuse me for wanting to see you have a good time every now and then and for wanting you to go with me… And Cody!” Satine hurried. 

“I will carry you there by force if I must, mate.” Cody said.

After careful consideration and fiddling with his quill, Obi-Wan finally sighed, “Well, I already know neither of you will ever let me live it down if I don’t…”

Both Satine and Cody dropped their shoulders in relief and shared a bright smile. It seemed Obi-Wan could not help but be equally happy to see them happy. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan and Satine being indisposed at some top secret party meant that Anakin might actually get to enjoy his Halloween and explore Hogwarts to the fullest. 

***

“Found anything, you have not.” Headmaster Yoda said gravely, not even bothering to turn his chair to face Professor Windu’s solemn stare. 

“We’ve checked every accessible meter of this school, Headmaster.” He replied firmly. 

Yoda knew this wasn’t good enough. There were secrets this school held that went beyond his years- despite how few would believe that by looking at him. Yoda caught his own reflection off an antique bottle of wine gifted to him by the Minister of Magic as a Christmas present. Even in the distorted evergreen hues, his wrinkles were deep and the hair that scarcely covered his little green head was a pure white. In spite of this, he would never know the true mystery that their ancestors left them.

Secret rooms and passageways unbeknownst even to him, evil hexes and curses that were designed to scorn those that uncovered them. It rarely ever turned out well for the curious and the wandering. It was why they discouraged exploration. Prefects were also implemented and chosen carefully to prevent any incidents as well. 

It was one thing when it was merely old traps finally snapping on unsuspecting students, but there was no doubt that something more sinister was creeping under the surface. Yoda wished he could better explain why, but his dreams foretold an impending fate worse than death, itself. 

He’d expressed these dreams to the Minister of Magic, but received little insight. Valorum did not seem to understand the significance of dreams. While it was important to be mindful of them, it was not as though Yoda was staring all day in the mirror of erised. No, instead, Yoda had deeply meditated over each and every one and it all ended the same.

“In the ashes of hypocrisy…  the lords of the Sith return”

The corrupt whisper seemed to flow through him. He begged the magical forces to allow him a glimpse at a face, but he didn’t need to look this creature in the eyes to know it was the embodiment of pure darkness. 

“Feel it, you do?” He asked.

“Something is wrong.” Mace Windu admitted and lightning crashed behind him as though setting the dramatic tone. It would be humorous if Mace were the type to lean into theatrics. His friend and former pupil was nothing if not straightforward.

“Disturbances.” He hummed.

“Indeed,” Windu ran a hand over his smooth head. “We always used to say that the ghosts always know first. And yet…”

“Hm?”

“No ghosts.” He said darkly. 

Many were offended by Windu’s steely demeanor, but few truly understood his battle with the darker sides of magic. Every step he took was a labor of teetering the balance of good and evil. It was far from easy, and Yoda respected the consistent choice to be good that Windu made every single day. He was grateful for it too, because while Yoda had much more experience under his belt, Windu was likely the most powerful wizard that ever attended Hogwarts. However, he understood that with that power came exceptional measures of control and collectivity. If anyone that could be trusted, it was Windu.

Well, him and-

“Sorry I’m late, Headmaster.” Qui-Gon Jinn wrung out sopping hair onto the stone flooring, “I had the pleasure of inspecting the Quidditch pitches.”

While the less severe of the two, Qui-Gon Jinn was easily the wisest wizard that ever walked through Hogwarts. He was one of the younger professors employed at Hogwarts, but if not for the formidably brilliant Dooku, would have been an obvious choice as Head of House. 

“See anything?” Windu asked.

“Nothing that constitutes actual concern.” Qui-Gon said, “Though I did catch a few students out past curfew.”

“Do you think they were conspiring?” 

“Considering they were heading off to the Forbidden Forest with a picnic blanket and were caught up in a snogging fest when I got to them, I doubt it.” He smirked.

“Thoughts on this, do you have, Qui-Gon?” Yoda asked.

Yoda might have negated his own dreams had Qui-Gon not shared them verbatim. It was a frightening discovery they’d had one blinding summer morning. The bearded professor was sketching out a lesson plan, but continued doodling the dark mark at which they’d seen.

In Yoda’s dream, it had been carved in blood. 

“I heard a noise,” He said. “I was returning into the building and it was fleeting, but I’ve never heard it before.”

“Loud, was it?”

“I wouldn’t say it was particularly jarring, but odd. It sounded like two stone walls moving against one another, but in the distance.”

���Outside or inside?” Windu asked.

“I’m positive it was inside.” Qui-Gon said, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we haven’t got an intruder, sir.”

“Say that like it’s better, you do.” Yoda offered, “Troubling, it is, for us to question one of our own.”

“The question is who.” Windu said firmly, “We’ve not had any significant issues before this summer and all of our professors are fairly tenured.”

“I believe the question is why.” Qui-Gon interjected, “And I think it’s obvious.”

“Please don’t start.” Windu sighed, giving way impatience for a change and it reminded Yoda that it was well past midnight and everyone was exhausted. He’d admittedly run them all ragged in his attempts to keep everything as safe as possible. Neither ever protested, but eventually, it would start to get to them and temporary fixes would only do so much.

It didn’t help that Qui-Gon and Windu vehemently disagreed on the matter of prophecy.

“Don’t start?” Qui-Gon laughed sardonically, “You said it yourself that something is going on! Yoda and I saw the same dream and I’m telling you, it’s the chosen one. Why else would the dark symbol appear when it did all those months ago? It hadn’t been publically waved for 100 years, Mace.”

“Then why are the presented omens negative? The chosen one is meant to unite good and evil, if you believe in that sort of thing.” Windu stubbornly replied.

“With the rise of the light, there will be darkness… Or perhaps, it’s the other way around.” He said thoughtfully.

“True that is, Professor Qui-Gon.” Yoda said, “But young, the boy is, and innocent. Scare him, we shall not.”

“We cannot leave him in the dark for too long.” Qui-Gon said hastily. “He is not to be trained as any regular wizard if he is to truly bring balance.”

“We don’t even know if this boy is the chosen one.” Windu said, “I’m certainly not so sure.”

“Clouded, our judgment is.” Yoda said quietly. “Rest, we must. The future, we can never be truly prepared for.”

 ***

Approximately one kilometer beneath the surface, away from sleeping children and lumbering ghosts, who never quite got their fullest rest, a long and bony hand reached through the pocket of a gate, extending until it met its goal of the slumbering beast’s coarse scales. 

It didn’t move- it never did. It was so resigned to its fate. It’s only purpose is to wallow underground and play its part in the transfer of power. It was truly a marvel: how the natural world could be so gifted without any assigned meaning. It was senseless to let it go about and mindlessly destroy. There was much, much worse that could be done should that power land in the proper lap.

However, he was not in charge. He never would be. 

“We are not so far apart, my ferocious friend.” Tyranus’s deep voice echoed off the damp walls. Figureheads, shrouded in the persistent darkness that reflected their very souls, seemed to stare down at him disapprovingly. 

This beast was locked away, forced to be unknown by the outside world, serving as the life force for another in order to see that the means are worth the end result. That’s all Tyranus would ever be… The pawn… The tool… The beast.

But he would not lose himself, entirely. He had his own objectives and his own mind, just as this creature likely once had. He would see them through even if it killed him.

The day he joined, he was upfront about his refusal to be consumed. To be consumed by the darkness would only make him weak, because to be obsessed with anything lowered one’s sensibilities. It was the very thing that brought down the statued men and women that gazed down at him- forever sullen and hidden away. They were scorned by their own refusal to look at things logically, which to him, was the problem with the current state of affairs.

He did not need the satisfaction of burning the world as many sith did. No, he was content with broken spirits vs broken bodies- not because Tyranus had a conscience. He was merely more pragmatic than he was lethal. Power came in many forms, but he would prefer to master the power of the mind. 

The beast howled in pain at the drain. Tyranus felt no pain for this beast, but he felt no pleasure either. He felt nothing.

And that… That would all change once he got his hands on that cursed boy. 

“You deserve a true sacrifice.” He whispered quietly.

***

Rex was exhausted. He’d been double checking Krell’s history essay during dinner so he’d had to make a run down to the kitchens to grab something to eat. Of course once he’d come back, Krell had admonished him for his “poor work” and had sent him back down to the kitchens to get him another dessert as punishment. Rex tried not to think about the anger that buzzed about his head when he remembered how Krell had tossed Rex’s own history essay back at him, with no corrections, but covered vaguely in what he hoped was sticky pudding.

He knew Anakin would have told him to fight back, but Anakin, unlike Rex, didn’t have looming threats sent in his direction. More than once, Krell had threatened to obliviate him when he’d caught Anakin giving him the stink eye from across the common room and Rex knew Krell could easily provoke his older brother, Cody, and he did not want to be the reason his brother got booted from the Quidditch team.

“Tell anyone about this and you’ll be joining the ranks of your more useless family members,” Was one of Krell’s current favorite lines of threatening.

Rex tried to take it in stride. He’d only brought up the matter once to Professor Windu. His professor just reminded Rex that mentors were selected on merit and if Mr. Krell hadn’t been fit for the role, he would not have been selected.

So Rex just pushed down any emotion other than his complete exhaustion and pushed open the door to his dormitory.

Despite it being quite late, he was mildly surprised to see Anakin was awake and, from the looks of it, plotting something. The moment Rex’s face was bathed in the soft firelight of the room Anakin was beckoning him over with a frantic hand wave. As much as Rex wanted to dive straight into his four-poster bed and draw the curtains, he approached his friend's bed with a look of resignation.

“Rex! I’ve been looking all over for you,” Anakin chirped excitedly and pulled over what looked to be an old homework assignment, turned into scrap paper, “I’ve just heard of this party, it’s for the older students, but honestly how could we not go!” Rex suddenly felt as if a rock had fallen into his stomach as he slowly peered down at the notes and saw one of the subheadings was labeled: Fancy Dress Ideas.

“You wouldn’t mean,” Rex asked slowly, “the Halloween party?”

“Yes, yes exactly,” Anakin continued hurriedly, not noticing anything amiss, “Satine and Cody told me I couldn’t go, but there has to be a way to sneak in,” Anakin’s hand dragged through the ink, smearing out a few of his outfit ideas as he continued to doodle a crude map of the castle grounds, “Obviously you should come with me, we’ll be the coolest first years the castle’s ever seen. I’m sure even your brother wasn’t this bold,” Anakin grinned up at him, before his grin slowly faded into a confused expression as he caught Rex’s eye for the first time, “Well, you do want to go don’t you?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to try and sneak in with you,” Rex tried to think of a way to phrase his thoughts, worried about accidentally losing the only friend who had been willing to stick around despite all of Krell’s errands, “It’s just that… I’ll already be attending the party,” He’d intended on continuing, but was cut off rather quickly.

“What?!” Anakin whisper shouted, which really for him was almost like shouting, but just barely managing not to wake up their whole dormitory, “They invited you but not me? Not that you’re not great and all,” Anakin tacked on rather haphazardly, “But I mean! I’ve gotten on the Quidditch team and everyone’s still talking about when I accidently transfigured that tree branch into a real piece of gold instead of a saucer,” He would have continued, but Rex had already had quite enough this evening.

“It’s not like I even want to go!” He matched Anakin’s near shout, but paused as they both heard one of their fellow students turn over, after a moment of silence he continued with whispered frustration, “It’s Krell! He’s making me go with him, doubt it will be much fun for me,” He finished miserably, and slowly Anakin’s jealousy simmered into quiet anger at his friend's mentor.

“That Krell,” Anakin muttered darkly, “Wish I could practice a few jinx’s on him,” Rex shook his head.

“That’ll only make him worse,” Rex said with a frown, the feeling of being dragged down, like he was barely holding his own in an ocean set to drown him, was returning. He was quite ready to banish that sensation in his dreams so he made his way to his own trunk and started dressing for bed.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t imagine it,” Anakin said wistfully, but as if sensing Rex’s unwillingness to discuss the topic any longer he changed the subject, “I guess Power Rangers are out,” he scratched his quill over an option in his list, “It’ll be no fun if it’s just me,” Rex, who had gotten into his bed, turned back around to face Anakin with a look of bafflement on his face.

“What in the bloody hell is a ‘Power Ranger’?”

***

Knowing that Rex wouldn’t be accompanying his big night out certainly put a damper on his Halloween plans. That’s not to say that Anakin required a co-conspirator in order to execute his plans, but he did appreciate the company. This sort of plan did require an additional hand anyway. Everyone needed a good look-out and thus far, Rex had been exceptional.

So, he mulled over his options. He needed someone that wouldn’t otherwise have any plans and would likely want to participate in such an act. It was going to be a tough criteria, but there were possibilities. There was Hondo Ohnaka, who would likely be kicked out of the bonfire anyway and itching to get back in. It helped that Hondo was sneaky and would appreciate the knowledge of an underground system to run his pirated muggle goods inside.

Then again, Hondo knowing such a system existed could be exploited and Palpatine and Anakin could somehow be dragged down for that.

His eyes drifted (far from the first time) to Padm é Amidala, who despite how desperately Anakin wanted to work up the courage to talk to, was a terrible idea for this caliber of mission. She was far too popular and should any of her pack of girls find out, the whole school would know in a heartbeat. Besides, he would definitely not be able to focus if she was in a spitting distance from him.

He glanced over at Sebulba and rolled his eyes at even briefly considering inviting the cretin. 

“What do you think, Rex?” He asked as the two of them wolfed down their breakfasts.

“I think you’re probably giving this plan more thought that you should.” His friend said, “You’re planning on busting into a party with all the prefects there. You know the professors are gonna be scanning the corridors like hawks.”

“I’ve got a way.” He said slyly, because he hadn’t explained the extent of the map to Rex just yet. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him, but that it was more of a need-to-know type of arrangement. He promised Palpatine he wouldn’t squeal and he was good on that promise. 

“Whatever you say, mate.” He shrugged, “Good luck finding a bloke who’s smart, quiet, and desperate enough for a good time that he’s willing to lay down a year of detention on the line for a prank.”

“We’ll be dressed up.” He said, “They’ll never know it’s- That’s it! I know who I need.”

Rex’s eyes widened at the sudden revelation, but Anakin was far too excited to share his good news. He’d been stupid not to think of it in the first place. The person of choice was right beneath his nose and the most unassuming character at Hogwarts. All this kid needed was a friend and he’d likely do whatever needed to be done. Plus, they’d have fun.

Pre Vizsla looked over his textbook in confusion as to why Anakin was sitting across from him in the library. To be fair, Anakin never elected to spend any voluntary time here. Usually, Obi-Wan and Satine had dragged him along thus far. Vizsla had been there too, but didn’t say a peep. Oftentimes, Anakin forgot the kid was there at all unless to ask Satine a question.

“Um, hello?” He said.

Anakin grinned and folded his hands, “Viz, I feel like it’s pretty criminal that we haven’t talked much.”

“Okay.” The boy blinked, dumbfounded.

“I mean, your mentor and my mentor are best friends. AND they’re prefects. They’re shoo in’s for Head Boy and Head Girl when their time comes. And us, we’re the little guys, the underdogs, the-”

“-Did you need something, Anakin?” He asked, not quite maliciously, but definitely a bit exhausted of Anakin’s vibrato. “Because I’m kind of in the middle of-”

“-Reading, yeah, you do that a lot.” Anakin nodded, “And while that’s cool and all, I think we should definitely be hanging out more. I mean, we’re practically family… Distant family, but still, the bond is there.”

Viz quietly closed his book and set it down. “Youwant to hang out with me.”

“We’ve got a lot in common.” Anakin said.

“Besides how close our mentors are, what exactly do we have in common?” He asked.

“Well…” Admittedly it took Anakin probably a beat too long, because Viz began packing up his things as if to leave, but he stuck a hand out to stop him.

“Look, I just think you could probably try to loosen up, you know? Have a little fun? It’s got to be exhausting having Satine as a mentor. I’m pretty sure if you looked ‘fun’ up in the dictionary, the definition would be “not Satine”, am I right?”

Viz shrugged, “We mostly talk about my homework or how I’m settling into school.”

“And sometimes, a guy needs a break from all of that.” Anakin said, “I would know, because Obi-Wan is always riding me about school or about how I carry myself. He’s worried about my posture for some reason now. It’s exhausting.”

Viz actually snorted and ran a hand over his shaved head, which was practically down to the scalp, “Yeah, I know that feeling.”

“Excellent, so do something fun with me. Halloween night. None of the prefects will be around so it’ll be great.”

“I’m not going to sign up for something that I don’t understand what we’ll be doing.” Viz pointed out. “That’s just foolish.”

This was valid. Anakin did already build a slight reputation as a prankster and few wanted to go down with the ship. Not everyone was as reliable and loyal as Rex. Still, Rex wasn’t an option for Halloween and Anakin wouldn’t mind actually bonding with Viz.

“We’re going to the Halloween bonfire.”

“What?” Viz frowned, “The one for upperclassmen?”

“The very same! You’re kind of the quiet and obedient type, right?” Anakin said, “So people would actually believe you if you were to say… Go to the library and study completely on your own.”

“Like today.”

“That’s what you’re doing? It’s lunch time!” Anakin said, briefly distracted before going back to his plan. “Maybe you could even be ‘tutoring’ me in this scenario. We need an alibi. That’s the important part. So long as we’ve got a concrete alibi, we’re in the clear if all goes smoothly.”

“Mhmm…”

“My sources say that the candy and sweets at this party are going to be ridiculous. They’re even having a pinata full of the stuff. Well, let’s just say I know a shortcut or two out of the castle and to the woods… Exactly where the party is being held. We jump in, fully dressed up so nobody knows the difference, snatch, the pinata, and go back to the school!”

Viz seemed to think this over for a good bit, “What kind of sweets?”

“Anything you can imagine, dude. You’re a muggle-born, right?”

Viz stiffened, “Yeah, why?”

“Well, I was pretty much raised like one too so I get the hype about wizard candy and I’d like as much of it as I can get my hands on.”

“I am collecting the trading cards from the frog boxes.” Viz said. “Alright, I’ll do it, but on one condition: you can’t show me the entrance. It’s best if only one of us knows. I don’t want to know your sources or anything. I’ll be your watchdog and your alibi, because that’s what I’m assuming you need in the first place. That’s all.”

This was even better than Anakin had imagined! He felt the folded map in his sweatshirt pocket, relieved that he didn’t need to explain his way around this one. Instead, Viz was completely satisfied with operating behind the scenes. Technically, the idea of a “lookout” was likely futile given the nature of the map, but Anakin was not 100% positive on its accuracy just yet and did not want to discover any faults during a live demonstration. Besides, poltergeists and ghosts moved so fast that he could easily be caught otherwise. 

“50/50 candy split then?” He asked, while already mentally debating how much Rex would require after such a stressful night.

“Deal.” 

The two boys spit on their respective hands and clasped them across the table in solidarity. Anakin had a good feeling about this.

***

Despite her insistence to get Obi-Wan invited to the party, Satine truly hadn’t given too much thought into her own attire. She’d assumed she would figure something out that weekend when she wasn’t up to her nose with midterm assignments. This task was doubled when she considered Viz’s studies, but the boy had been improving magnificently as of late and required very little editing. She wondered if she would have the pleasure of being the mentor to a Head Boy in the making. 

It seemed everyone else around her was just buzzing about the impending bonfire. While she was enthusiastic about the occasion, she didn’t understand quite the level of hype that was circulating the school. Then again, she’d never been to a wizarding-styled party such as this before. 

Stass and Aayla were no different in their bubbling excitement and truthfully, it was nice to brainstorm ideas if at all possible. 

Aayla flopped backwards onto the couch in the common room, exhausted from her Quidditch practice.

“They’ve been working you hard, huh?” Stass asked.

“Harder than ever.” She puffed out a breath, “I don’t think I’ll ever move again if that’s alright with you folks. Just drag my limp body here and there. I’m sure I’ll be alright. I’ll eat the scraps of food you drop… Should my jaw stop hurting.”

“You could, and this is just a thought,” Satine began, “Go to the hospital wing.”

“What do you take me for? A sissy?” She winced as she turned her head too fast.

“I thought I took you for someone with more than one operating braincell.”

“You would be wrong.” Stass snorted.

Aayla stuck her tongue out at them, “I’ve not got the worst of it. Your boy could hardly walk straight after today’s practice, Satine.”

She stiffened, not even bothering to dignify the insinuation with a response, “Is he alright?”

Her blue friend’s mouth curled into a smirk, “Yeah, just had a rough go of it when the quaffle went rogue and smacked him into the post.”

Satine did everything not to appear overly invested or concerned, but she couldn’t help it. She despised Quidditch and the overwhelming fixation everyone seemed to have on it. It was not like she didn’t possess house or school spirit. She was invested in the overall competition between houses to achieve the most points throughout the year. Such a competition actually involved the merits and strengths of each student’s character rather than how bloody and battered they could make each other during a sport’s match. 

While not all that interested in muggle sports, they hardly became as deadly as Quidditch ever so casually was to wizards. It blew her mind just how little regard the lives of students were taken into consideration every single match. She felt her heart was in her throat every single time she was subjected to watching Obi-Wan or Cody play. Cody lived for the sport and the amount of fun he had while on the field was almost contagious if she hadn’t almost seen him die on the regular by how careless he was.

Then, there was Obi-Wan, who also disliked Quidditch, though for reasons different from her own. He hated flying, for one thing, which had been obvious since their first year. There was also the pressure that came with Quidditch that Obi-Wan didn’t appreciate. It wasn’t that he was bad- quite the opposite, but he definitely got into his own head. For him, it was the obligation that came with being good at Quidditch that made him dislike it. She couldn’t exactly blame him.

Still, she knew it was her duty to cheer him on despite her reservations about the sport. He needed someone who was actively rooting for him in the crowd. The smile on his face when he saw her after a match was worth enough of her own discomfort sitting through each game. 

“Did he go to the hospital wing?” Satine asked carefully.

“Do you take him for a sissy, Satine?” Aayla asked.

“It’s not being a sissy to get help when required, you nitwit.”

“Don’t mind her, she’s just been hit upside the head too much with the bludger.” Stass chuckled, “What I really want to know, is what we’re doing for Halloween?”

“I know I hit my head pretty hard on the pitch, but I could have sworn we had this conversation last week.” Aayla feigned forgetfulness and now it was Satine’s turn to laugh.

“We did, but we’ve got to talk logistics.”

“Now, you’re sounding like a true Ravenclaw.” Satine murmured. “What are the logistics of going to a party?”

“Well, it is a fancy dress sort of party.” She smiled, eyes suddenly aglow. “And I know what we should go as.”

“We? Like a group ensemble?” Satine hadn’t considered it, but she’d been foolish not to. It would certainly be more fun to coordinate and then she’d be able to collaborate on constructing her attire. 

“We should go as the three witches from the Fountain of Fair Fortune. It’s perfect!” Stass said.

“I like it!” Aayla agreed, “We would look smart as all hell.”

“Weren’t you considering dressing as some important Quidditch player?” Satine asked.

“I can be a jock and wear fluffy dresses, Satine. A girl can have multiple layers.”

She rolled her eyes and considered it, “Well, I do quite love the fairy tale. It’s one of the first pieces of wizarding literature that I read upon discovering my abilities. I especially appreciate it now for its forward-thinking mindset of uniting the two-”

“-I could go as Altheda, Aayla as Asha, and Satine could be Amata.” Stass interrupted what would have been an in-depth analysis on the underlying politics of the story. 

“I thought Amata was your favorite.” Satine prompted curiously. 

“But you look the most like her.” She returned.

Satine couldn’t quite argue with that logic, but that was merely because Amata was drawn to be a blonde. However, Aayla was blue and likely didn’t resemble any of the illustrated witches, so it wasn’t exactly sound reasoning through and through. Either way, she was looking forward to being a part of it.

“Alright, I’m in.” She smiled and both girls beamed.

“Brilliant!” They said in unison after sharing a conspiring grin. 

Satine didn’t know what to think of that, but part of her suspected there was more to this decision that met the eye. Either way, it couldn’t have been that harmful. So what if her friends wanted to throw her in a beautiful dress for one evening? She wasn’t opposed to the idea of looking a bit silly for a night. It was all in the spirit of the holiday.

***

Halloween finally arrived at Hogwarts with the all too perfect backdrop of an ominous full moon, promising the varying howls of excitable creatures from the nearby forbidden forest. While underclassmen were fairly nonplussed by the evening, seeing as they didn’t have any specific plans, the upperclassmen busily prepared the final touches on their outfits and readied themselves for an exciting evening of sweets and spooky stories. Seeing as the Slytherins were in charge this year, it was to no surprise that it was going to be especially traditional.

Obi-Wan had signed up for the most inconvenient patrol slot for any hopeful fifth year that was finally being allowed the coveted idea of socialization, but he didn’t care as much for it as his peers. Qui-Gon had been nice enough to offer finishing his rounds so he could get ready, but Obi-Wan didn’t have anything specific to wear anyway.

“You’re going dressed like that?” Qui-Gon mused as they walked together, “To a fancy-dress party? I never thought this day might come, but I think you’re underdressed.”

While he was indifferent to the holiday as a whole, he didn’t really have anything fitting to wear even if he wanted to. So, he opted for more casual-wear with nice slacks and a sweater. It was getting rather chilly outside.

“I’m really just popping in for Satine and Cody’s sakes,” He chuckled, “I think they went to more effort than they’re leading on to get me invited.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“It would be illogical to invite me.” He said, “Satine and myself swore an oath that we would be the picture of responsibility. Either of us would report wrongdoing and the party historically always has something go awry.”

“But they invited Satine without question?”

“If I were to get caught at some sort of keg-stand, my parents would have a fit. They are friends with Sora Bulq and Asajj Ventress’ parents, after all. Satine could probably go unnoticed if it got out- seeing as her family are muggles.”

And hearty drinkers, but he left that bit out. 

“Still, it’s a rite of passage.” Qui-Gon said. “One that you deserve to experience to the fullest extent.”

“Everyone keeps saying that like it’s official.” He said as they rounded a corner. “It’s not like graduation or anything. It’s hardly even an official holiday in the UK, let alone the wizarding world.”

His mentor smiled somberly, “You know, it’s okay to act your age every once in a while. Even Satine is doing so.”

“Why do I feel like she already ranted about me in your office today?”

“Hey, what occurs in my office hours is between me and the disagreeable student who is projecting their frustrations at me.”

“Good to know she cares.” Obi-Wan quipped.

“Oh, she definitely does.” 

They walked in silence for a while, nodding cordially at some of the ghosts that drifted around the halls. It was a peaceful time at Hogwarts, which is part of the reason Obi-Wan took the shift. He hadn’t expected the company of Qui-Gon, who was always a very busy man, but he’d always managed to make time when he was needed, even if the student wasn’t aware his services of advice were required.

“I suppose parties just have never quite been my forte.” He said with a shrug, “I always wind up feeling like I’m on the outside looking in, which might surprise some- seeing as my family has thrown parties all of the time.”

“Adult parties and kid parties, you’ll find, are very different.” Qui-Gon said.

“Are you sure? Because in my experience, politics are still everywhere.” Obi-Wan countered. “Only difference is my friends will be at this one.”

“Well then, you better get going.”

“But-”

“-Obi-Wan, I know it’s been a while since I’ve been a prefect, but I know how to perform a proper perimeter sweep. Get going. I look forward to the inevitable argument between you and Ms. Kryze that I’ll be refereeing tomorrow.”

“We don’t always argue.” He grumbled as he began to walk away before turning around. “Thank you, sir.”

***

Technically, the plan wasn’t enacted until they’d been witnessed studying in the library. Most first years didn’t take Halloween too seriously, since there wasn’t much for them to do aside from telling ghost stories from their common rooms, so it wasn’t unusual for them to be occupying the space. The ghosts were definitely getting a little rowdier than usual, but Anakin learned by now that if you simply gave them the attention they sought after, they typically went away on their own.

“What am I tutoring you in?” Viz asked, “We don’t have classes together.”

“Sure, but we have the same classes.” Anakin said, “How about Herbology? That’s the most boring to me.”

“How?” He brightened, “You didn’t enjoy studying the seeds of-”

“-Sh!” Anakin quickly opened his book as Satine approached the two of them. He hastily spun it around so it was facing the proper way and hoped she didn’t notice. Lucky for him, she seemed more focused on adjusting the sashes on her light pink gown, which was rather extravagant and trailed behind her even as she walked. 

Being that he was 11 years old, Anakin really wasn’t the type of person to get tripped up on wardrobe or frilly dresses, but even by his account, she looked transformed, which was the entire point of Halloween in the first place. Her hair was down and flowing in meticulous blonde waves that fell down her back, the top part of which was braided and clipped away from her face. She was wearing makeup, which was unusual for Satine, so her eyes seemed to glow like contemplative azure orbs.

“Neat outfit!” He chirped, “Are you a princess?”

She smiled at him. “Actually, I’m one of the witches from-”

“-Fountain of Fair Fortune!” Viz finished excitedly and off Anakin’s confused gaze, flushed, “It’s one of my favorite fairy tales. I’m guessing you are supposed to be the lovely Amata?”

She curtsied in response, “Indeed, I am.”

Viz nodded in approval, “It’s very book-accurate, Satine. Though I always took you as more of an Altheda for her hardworking attributes.”

“My friends insisted.” She rolled her eyes and off Anakin’s confused expression, explained, “In the story, my character hopes that the fountain of fair fortune will ease her grievances over her broken heart. Then, in the end, she winds up falling in love with a muggle knight.”

“It’s very controversial.” Viz added.   

“Oh! Never heard of it.” Anakin admitted and then looked back to Satine, “What’s Obi-Wan being?”

“Not sure, honestly. He’s still on patrol last I heard.” She said, “What are you two up to?”

“Studying herbology.” Anakin said, “Viz is tutoring me.”

Her bright smile told him that she’d bought it. “That’s a brilliant idea! Well, don’t let me interrupt. I was actually looking for Ben.”

“We’ll see you later! I’ll be an herbology expert thanks to this kid.” Anakin called after her.

“Laying it on a bit thick there, hm?” Viz muttered, “I’ve seen your marks. They’re not great.”

“Point is, alibi is sealed.” He winked. 

***

“I thought you were going to the bonfire.” Fives said as Cody tugged his red and gold sweater over his head. 

“Yeah, if you’d just said you were going out for late-night practice, you could have at least warned us. We wouldn’t mind getting off the bench this year, dear brother.” Echo said. 

“Relax, boys, I am going to the bonfire.” Cody waved them off, “But if you get good enough to get off the bench, I’ll play you.”

“Whatever happened to brotherly love?” Fives asked. Other than a slight height difference (was Echo the taller one?), the twin third years were nearly undetectable and used it to their advantage. 

“Yeah? And where was that spirit when the two of you filled my pillow with peanut butter?”

“That is love.” Echo smirked, “But why are you wearing your Quidditch uniform?”

“For the party.”

“But you wear it every day, it hardly qualifies.” Fives pointed out.

“Let’s not point fingers about wearing the same thing every day there, lad.” And truthfully, the only reason Cody knew it was Fives was because he never took his favorite Chudley Cannons jersey off- number 5, Tup. “And if you were paying any real attention, you’d notice this is my old Quidditch uniform.”

“And? You’re going as a growth spurt?” Echo quipped.

Cody didn’t dignify that with a response and instead whipped out his wand to conjure up the spell he’d been practicing prior to the party, thus turning the water by his bedside table into a white paste. After rubbing that on his face, he took out the liquid eyeliner he’d borrowed from Satine (evidently, muggles applied this manually) and surrounded his eyes with the black goop.

“I’m a zombie player!” He said and took in his appearance with satisfaction in the mirror.

Because really, did they actually expect him to sully up his brand new uniform for a stupid bonfire? 

“Really couldn’t have turned that into wine or whiskey and made it a real party, huh?” Fives said after a while. “Because people are going to need it to like looking at you.”

“Looks better than usual.” Echo jested.

“A lot better than you lot do.” Cody shoved him back against the bed and they laughed before retaliating in kind. In the scuffle, a lump of white bedsheet slithered behind him and towards the door. Not too busy rough-housing the twins, Cody stuck a boot down on the tail end of the sheet that dragged along the floor and watched as Rex emerged as he continued walking.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He said around a laugh, “You and Skywalker got something planned? Don’t even think about getting my star into detention.”

“Can’t believe he plays some first year over us.” Grumbled Fives.

“You’ve seen the kid. He’s crazy.” Echo said in amazement. “Knocked the teeth right out of Professor Tiin’s head the other day.”

Rex sighed, “Oh, no. I mean, I’m sure Anakin does, but I’m actually…” And he murmured something indistinct, avoiding his brother’s gaze.

Cody frowned, “Got some marbles in your mouth there, Rexy?”

“Baby brother’s got a secret.” Fives said cheekily. “Is it a girl?”

“No!” Rex twisted his face in immediate disgust, which was fair. The boy was only 11 and had other interests that far outweighed the female species. Cody was right there with him most of the time, seeing as there was always a game to play. However, Cody could not dispute that something was visibly bothering him. Rex was the very worst at keeping secrets amongst his brothers. And there was only one way to get it out of him.

“Alright boys, I got the feet.” Cody said.

As if he was their drill sergeant, Fives and Echo leapt into action before Rex could even have the presence of thought to react. As promised, Cody went for Rex’s ankles while Fives and Echo each grabbed an arm and pinned him down. The other Gryffindor boys could only watch as the three older boys tickled their youngest brother without mercy, knowing every spot to hit and just how crazy it would drive him.

“STOP!” Rex cackled and squirmed, which was contagious, but not enough to deter his brothers from the task at hand.

“Sure, buddy, once you tell us what you’re sneaking off to.” Cody said calmly. 

“I hate you guys!” Rex complained, but continued to thrash around as they upped the speed at which they poked at his most susceptible areas. 

“As you know, this can and will get worse the longer it goes on.” Fives said.

Sure, they were making a scene, but this was typical behavior for the clones and most just stepped over Rex and went about their business without paying it too much mind. Cody prided himself on how his whole family managed to make their mark in such a way that regardless of the incarnation, was expected of them. He wondered if his kids would one day maintain the reputation.

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I GIVE!” Rex shouted and thrashed around until the tickling stopped. However, they didn’t release their strongholds on his limbs and he released a tired grunt when he realized he wasn’t breaking free.

“I’m going to the bonfire.” He said simply.

“If you think I’m going to let you in-” Cody began.

“-Krell is taking me.” He interjected and Cody dropped his ankles.

“He’s what?” He said, ice freezing his veins. “Why?”

“I don’t know? To fetch him drinks and stuff? That’s mostly what I’ve been doing anyway. Just please don’t make a big deal of it, Cody.”

Cody nodded to Fives and Echo to release Rex’s arms and they obeyed immediately, but didn’t go far from him. 

“That creep is using you like you’re some sort of slave and you expect me not to make a big deal of it?” Cody boomed and turned around to face the rest of the dormitory, “Where is that crud face?”

“I think he already left.” He said and tugged at Cody’s arm, “If you confront him, he’s only going to make it worse for me and for you! He’s a prefect, Cody!”

“I don’t care.” He shook off his little brother, “Put on your bed sheet. We’re going to the party and I’m going to give that punk a piece of my mind.”

***

After seeing that Anakin and Viz were in good shape for the evening, Satine met Stass and Aayla by the common room to attend the party together. She’d been unable to trace down either Cody or Obi-Wan, but figured they’d been going together (if Obi-Wan went at all- which would not surprise her). Both girls were putting final touches on their own dresses when she appeared and they smiled at her brightly.

“Oh, you look beautiful, Satine.” Stass beamed, “Total Amata.”

“You two do as well,” She blushed, “Thank you both for the assist. It never would have happened without either of you.”

Both Aayla and Stass’s renditions of the classic dresses were also well assembled with Stass’s Altheda sporting an evergreen gown with a white bonnet to push back her dreadlocks and Aayla’s Asha gown being a more faded blue than she was and dotted with small rhinestones that made it appear as if it were sparkling in lowlight.

She was relieved they’d opted to use a thicker fabric in constructing their gowns, which while this made it more tedious (even with magic), worked out for the best in contrast to the frigid evening air that greeted them when they stepped outside.

“You ever think it strange that the forest is literally tacked as “forbidden” and we are still allowed to blissfully congregate right beside it?” Satine asked.

“Well, it’s been years since a student died there. Guess Headmaster Yoda just has other things to worry about.” Aayla shrugged.

They’d more or less heard the bonfire before truly seeing the full extent of the party, but upon walking through a charmed clearing that forbade any younger students, the three girls basked in the glory of teenage immunity as various witches and wizards of their year and older danced to loud music around a large flame. The fire, itself, was fake, since students had a history of burning themselves at the party. The warm glow felt authentic and if still presented with marshmallows or hotdogs, would toast them properly. The most impressive bit about the fire was how it flickered between an array of colors. Presently, it was lime green.

Each participant was dressed in a wide range of apparel, some casually donning a mask or a silly hat and others going significantly more in-depth. It was a relief, in a sense, to know she wasn’t the most ornate at the party. That prize certainly went to one Aurra Sing, a sixth year, who regardless of the chilly weather, seemed to have no problem trouncing about in little more than full green glitter body paint, yellow contacts, extensive face makeup, and a cape that emulated scales. Her teeth were even reminiscent of actual spikes.

“Look at Hondo and his buddies.” Stass chuckled as the boys followed Aurra around like she had been dangling a piece of meat on a stick for them to follow. All of the boys were dressed as pirates. Hondo even sported a peg-leg.

“Everyone looks pretty-” Satine was cut off by someone blindsiding her as they moved past, thus sloshing whatever their red beverage was onto the front of her dress.

“Oops!” Ventress raised a hand to her mouth in fake concern, “My bad, Duchess.”

She cringed at the derogatory nickname, which was born of Ventress’ firm belief that Satine thought she was better than everyone else. 

“You,” She hissed, shivering at the way the cold drink seeped through the fabric and to her skin. It was as though the breeze was perfectly timed to bustle through the trees. “You did that on purpose!”

“And what if I did? No knight to save you?” She said coolly. 

“No, actually, I’m quite adept at solving my own problems, thank you. Really, I’m more surprised you had the mental capacity to read the book in the first place.”

Ventress narrowed her venomous blue eyes and placed her hands on her hips, “My family had to be quite familiar with it, seeing as my parents participated in the trial to get it barred from shelves.”

“You say that as though it’s something to be proud of.” She returned, ignoring Stass and Aayla, who tried to lead her away from the witch, but while Satine would never condone the pitiful usage of violence, was never one to back down from a debate.

“Ridding the world of paltry propaganda is more noble than playing fantasy.”

Satine crossed her arms, “And yet, the Ministry of Magic didn’t see it that way.”

“That’s because of Headmaster Yoda- the old fool.” She scowled. “His lack of foresight will bring the end of our community.”

“Go on, you can say hate group.” Satine retorted darkly, “Otherwise, I don’t think I’m the one enraptured in fantasy.”

A small smile flickered on Ventress’s lips, “Now, now, Duchess, to hate you, would mean I’d have to care the slightest bit about you.”

As she sashayed away from the three girls, looking wretchedly pleased with herself, Satine, clenched her fist. She wasn’t sure why Asajj Ventress so obviously had it out for her, specifically. She knew she disliked muggles and muggle borns, but there were plenty of those running about Hogwarts for her to harass. This hadn’t started occurring until around their third year, but it had only gotten worse since Satine had been named prefect.

“Nice face paint, though! Really scary!” Satine called after her, knowing good and well that Ventress was not wearing face paint. It was from this distance that it ironically occurred to Satine that Ventress was dressed as an angel.

A pretty scantily dressed angel, but an angel all the same.

“Yeah… You showed her.” Stass muttered dryly and Aayla nudged her.

“Look who decided to show up!”

Satine turned the other direction to see one Obi-Wan Kenobi walking with hands in his pockets and looking drastically out of place in khaki pants and a gray sweater, lacking absolutely any indication that he was attending anything remotely festive.

Perhaps it was because she was still reeling off her encounter with Ventress, but Satine stormed through Aayla and Stass like a hurricane and stalked up to him, grabbing him by the arm and tugging him to the side. 

He eyed her up and down, eyes wide. “Wow, you look-”

“-What are you doing?” She demanded, and fought to ignore the heat that was climbing way to her cheeks.

“Hello to you too.” He frowned, forgoing whatever he was about to say. “I’m doing well, thank you for asking. How are you?”

“I’d be doing better if you had an ounce of holiday spirit.” She sighed and looked around her, trying to find something- anything- to fix into a quick costume for him. 

“I told you I’m not much for Halloween.” He said, but when she fixed her stare back to him, his eyes quickly snapped from where they’d been inspecting her dress again to hers.

“Yes, well, that won’t do in the slightest.”

As if reading her mind, Stass cut into the conversation with a metallic serving tray. At first, Satine was confused, but her friend grinned in response.

“You could always use it to fasten a knight’s helmet real quick.”

She nodded, “Oh, thank you, that is- Wait.”

A rogue giggle escaped from Stass’s lips and she hastily covered her mouth with wide eyes before scurrying out of arm’s length and over to a much less ashamed Aayla, whose head was tilted back in full-fledged laughter. 

“So that was their little plan all along.” She growled under her breath, gripping onto the serving tray with vice-like strength. How could she have been stupid enough to walk right into this trap?

“Satine?” Obi-Wan’s confused voice cut into her seething brain and his eyes were even more perplexed when she turned back to look at him. “What’s wrong with that idea?”

She opened her mouth to explain her shortsightedness and caught herself, tongue suddenly going fat as her words turned to dust. Instead, she just tried to rack her brain for an explanation that wasn’t absolutely humiliating and could feel herself going redder by the moment. She looked from the serving tray and the proposed idea of his becoming a knight, then back to her own dress, and most damningly, the charmingly concerned look on his face.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asked after she’d stammered like an idiot for a moment. He reached out and gently pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. “You’re flushed.”

“N-no, I’m fine.” She gulped, “I… I was just…”

“Going to turn that into a knight’s helmet?” He smiled lightly, “I won’t make fun of you if you mess up.”

Relief eased through her as it seemed he hadn’t yet made the connection. Maybe he didn’t recognize exactly what she was supposed to be or the significance of his being a knight? Or maybe, she reasoned, it didn’t really matter all that much to him. All the same, she expertly transfigured the metal tray into a replica knight’s helmet. 

“Brilliant, as always.” He nudged her and she willed her hands not to shake as she carefully lifted the helmet up and placed it over perfectly quaffed hair. She took the moment of his obscured vision to briefly appreciate how much he’d grown over the summer.

She gently lifted the flap, revealing bright blue-gray eyes. He saluted her playfully, which she returned with a smile that felt like it might break her face.

She cleared her throat, “Well, sir knight, I do believe you owe me.” 

“I do see candied apples over there.” He nodded and accidentally knocked the flap down, which both moved at the same time to fix, bumping hands for a moment before she dropped hers and let him take care of it. She did due diligence not to focus on the way they both avoided each other’s gaze afterwards. “Uh, yes, better get to that.”

***

“Is tonight the night?” Tyranus asked his master as they were shrouded in black. It was perilous enough to meet under such conditions, but seeing as plans were finally moving forwards, it seemed worth seeing that nothing went askew.

At last, they would be seen and the foolish administration would understand why casting their fears to the shadows only provided them succor. 

“Patience, my apprentice.” His master said, glowing yellow eyes illuminated behind his hood, “Do you not remember what became of the last apprentice that rushed into things?”

Tyranus did, but he did not have to fear such a fate. He was meticulous, like his master, and cared more for the outcome of their righteous victory than sinking his teeth into the festering pain they would inflict along the way.

“Do not compare me to him.” He spat, “I am not a bloodthirsty mongrel.”

“Perhaps not,” Sidious’ calm and frozen voice tutted, “Tonight, we make our sacrifice.”

“She shall rise at his descent.”

“She shall rise.” His pale lips curled into a crooked grin. “Tonight.”

***

The secret entry to one of the underground tunnels was located in the restricted section of the library, which meant that since Anakin was unable to magically become invisible, he would have to be stealthy in avoiding the various ghosts and poltergeists that typically clung nearby. Worst of all, more professors seemed to crowd around the library that evening than ever. He’d nearly ran square into Professor Dooku, who despite his usual sternness and tendency to hand detention out to anyone who ran the halls, didn’t spare him a second to even apologize before skirting around him and continuing on his way.

“That was lucky.” He muttered to himself. 

It was possible that the rightness of his plan was not merely his sweet tooth’s desire to sink itself into that delectable candy that was at the end of the tunnel, but because it was truly meant to be. The moon was full, which according to legend, tended to make all sorts of strange occurrences take place.

He stopped in front of a bookshelf that was furthest away from the reception desk. Its shelves were lined with a varying degree of books that were not supposed to meet the eyes of students. 

“Why even have books you can’t read?” Anakin wondered. “That’s like having words you can’t say. Stupid.”

Did that mean he would ever dare to curse in front of his mother? Absolutely not. 

However, he never cared much for reading for fun. When he explained to Viz that part of his plan required delving into the restricted section, the boy had instantly lit up, stating that the knowledge that was on those shelves was only known to few wizards. To Anakin, that just seemed foolish.

Regardless, he’d watched enough TV to understand the probability of one of the books being the physical switch to the tunnel. With Viz taking guard and walkie talkies in their pockets, there was very little that could make this plan go awry. Plus, according to the map, there were no ghosts on the floor at all. 

“I told you this was going to work, Viz.” Anakin said into the radio.

Vizsla had looked at him like he had four heads when he removed the walkies from his pouch earlier that evening, but Anakin knew he’d been correct in bringing them, especially since he had absolutely no idea on how wizards communicated locally. It was funny, though, because Vizsla was muggle-born and would likely know what a walkie talkie was. 

Anakin dismissed the thought. That kid practically lived under a rock anyway. With any help from him, he’d slowly pull him from his shell. Maybe from now on, if this all went according to plan, he would have a third to his duo with Rex. That was certainly more friends than he was used to having in school.

He’d assumed too early, unfortunately, because as Anakin hastily removed and replaced every single book at the entryway shelf, he found absolutely no reaction. What kind of mysterious hallway was this? He did notice that there was a book missing at the bottom of the shelf, towards the end of the alphabet.

“Bollocks.” He cursed, “Viz, anything?”

Silence.

Except for the distinct sound of heels clicking on stone flooring.

“Viz?” He asked again, but noticed for the first time that his walkie wasn’t lighting up in the slightest when he pressed the red button on the side. “Dang, I swore I charged these things.”

He tossed it to the side haphazardly as he quickly pulled out the map and noticed that Professor Palpatine was coming his way. He doubted when the Professor took pity on him and gave him the map, he meant for it to be used for such frivolous purposes. Palpatine was kind and sympathetic, but he wasn’t a pushover. 

He looked both ways hastily, trying to mentally scribe out his best chance of escape. When nothing seemed to pop out of thin air, he stamped his foot in frustration, ready to accept whatever unfortunate consequences would come his way.

They never came, of course, because whatever he’d stomped had removed the floor from beneath him and sent him downwards into a spiral of total darkness.

Anakin had a bad feeling about this.

***

Obi-Wan had a bad feeling about this. He wasn’t much for parties in the first place, always having felt that there was this required level of artificial conversation that diluted any real possible fun that could occur. However, it had been difficult to argue with his friends, who always had his best interest in mind, and then Qui-Gon, who was wise beyond his years despite what anyone else thought.

The party had started fine enough for him. Satine saddled him with a makeshift knight’s helmet that must have looked positively ridiculous on him, because she could barely stand to look him in the eye for too long. It was just as good that the flap kept sliding down and slamming shut over his face, because looking at her was a lot as well. A good “a lot”, but overwhelming all the same in this atmosphere.

She’d been pleased that he performed a spell to eradicate the stain on her stomach, which he hardly noticed until she’d pointed it out. Ventress’s doing, unsurprisingly, but karma was sometimes a more effective tool than magic, because the witch in question managed to slip on a wet leaf and slide into a muddy puddle. Satine was above laughing at her as many others had, but judging by the way her back straightened, she was not upset by the turn of events.

“Remind me again what you are, exactly?” He asked as they sat on a log and watched Hondo attempt break-dancing in an effort to best Sy Snootles’ moveset. 

“Oh!” She finished off a piece of toffee and used her other hand to place a lock of hair behind her ear. It was down and flowing today, trailing to the middle of her back in magnificent golden waves. “Have you ever read the Fountain of Fair Fortune?”

She seemed anxious and he was unsure why, but she fiddled with her hands in her lap while maintaining her gaze towards the dancing partygoers. Stass and Aayla had joined in on the fun and chanted loudly to some popular song that neither he or Satine seemed to catch onto.

Still, the title of the book sounded familiar enough. “Remind me what it’s about?”

“Okay.” She shifted in her seat to face him, “There’s this fountain of-”

“-Fair fortune?” He smirked.

She chuckled and swatted his arm, “Yes, do you want to tell it?”

“Seeing as I don’t know it, no.” He said.

“Very well then,” She continued, “And it's only accessible once a year for one person to bathe in to achieve eternal luck. Three witches meet and decide to work together to find the fountain. There’s Asha, whose mysterious illness cannot be cured by any healer, Altheda, who was robbed and is stuck in poverty, and Amata, who had her heart broken and wished to have it mended.”

“And that’s you.” He clarified after she’d gestured to herself on the last name.

“Stass and Aayla’s idea.” She cast a dirty look towards them before proceeding, “Anyway, they journey off and run into a muggle knight-”

“-Oh!” Obi-Wan patted his leg excitedly at the revelation, “I knew I’d heard of this one. The knight gets roped into the journey, correct?”

“Yes!” She smiled.

He laughed, “I suppose I understand why you were a little hesitant to dress me up as the knight then.”

She froze, eyes bulged, “You do?”

“Yeah?” Obi-Wan frowned, “Not sure how I’d feel giving you a character that’s been impaled.”

She narrowed her eyes, “That’s not what- What are you on about?”

“The end of the story?” He didn’t understand her sudden disposition, because that had been it, right? It was similar to the Grimm fairy tales in how they’d reached less than ideal endings, but those had been his parents’ preferred versions, stating that the real world was a scarier place than what was made up in stories.

“I haven’t heard that story in a long time.” He conceded, “But I remember it scared me a bit as a young child. I’m surprised you like it so.”

“I don’t think you heard it correctly.” She said, “Because the knight doesn’t die.”

“Yes he does.”

“No,” She said pointedly, “He doesn’t.”

He shook his head, annoyed. “I distinctly remember as a child, my mother read me-”

Satine stood to her feet, ears red and eyes blazing in a way that had nothing to do with the fire in the background. “-Well, she read you the wrong version!”

He opened his mouth to retaliate that point, but was interrupted by the stark sound of someone’s jaw being cracked against a balled fist. In a flash, a group had surrounded the brawling figures and began cheering as though this was a free sporting event. Instantly, Obi-Wan and Satine forgot their quarrel and shoved through the crowd of onlookers to see their friend, Cody, rolling around the ground with Pong Krell.

***

The way down the abyss would have been like a slide had it not felt like Anakin was being spanked the entire way down. It was difficult to gage how far he’d fallen since the hole at which he fell through was now closed above him, leaving him completely engulfed in complete black. The way his body hit the ground made it feel like it wasn’t as high as he’d originally anticipated. He’d fallen off his fair share of skate ramps to know what that distance vaguely felt like.

He groaned and crawled to his feet. How the heck was he supposed to see the map in all this darkness?

“Oh crap, that’s right. Lumos.” He whispered and sure enough, a little blip of light illuminated the minimal space around him as a flashlight might. 

He waved his wand around, taking stock of his surroundings. Even with the glowing wand, he was unable to make out where the ceiling started or how deep this trench of darkness stretched. He would be significantly more afraid if he didn’t logically understand that these were built on purpose ages ago to transport goods during the war (Palpatine hadn’t specified too much, but Anakin had also been too eager to stick around for long). 

Hogwarts was a happy place. Or at least, he told himself that as he considered the emblematic symbols of serpents engraved into the walls. He shined his light on one in particular, which showcased a beast larger than all of the rest. Tiny stick figures bowed down to it except for one, who rode the beast as though it were his trusty steed. When Anakin reached out to brush away dust and dirt to get a better look, the drawings began to move. 

“I love magic.” He smiled.

The beast climbed to the highest point of the tower and unleashed a puff of what Anakin imagined was fire, but could have been anything of damaging substance. His imagination could only stretch so far and as it stood, magic always seemed to supersede expectations.

The beast didn’t turn and kill the little stick people that worshipped it, but the one who rode on its back. 

“Weird.” He commented as the sequence seemed to start over, startling himself by his own echo.

He went to dig the map out of his sweatshirt pocket, but only found the mask that completed his outfit. Nearly dropping his wand in the process and driven by panic, he smacked his jeans pockets in hopes of misplacing it there, but with no success. Slowly, he looked up at where he’d come from, realizing that this might have been a bigger problem than he thought.

“This candy better be worth it,” He grumbled, as he extended his wand behind and ahead of him, trying to debate which way to go.

This would have been a prime moment to have one of those photographic memories that Obi-Wan had. The older boy always played it off and still insisted on burying his nose in a book until (and oftentimes after) his exams. If Anakin had that sort of advantage, his procrastination habits would only worsen. 

If Obi-Wan were here, he’d lecture Anakin that the main objective was no longer (and shouldn’t have ever been) retrieving sweets, but survival. To be fair, he wouldn’t have been here at all had Obi-Wan been given anything to say about it, but he refused to get too caught up in the details.

“This is what I get for planning and reading in advance. Nothing!” he sighed and then paused, “I really need to stop talking to myself.”

It sounded like the dripping sound was coming from somewhere behind him, so Anakin decided going towards water might be the better choice. He wasn’t sure why, but anytime anyone had been lost in movies, they always followed a river or went towards a general body of water. 

Dust particles floated around him and drifted through open space, but were interrupted in their path by the bulb at the end of his wand. He cast his light every which way and tried to avoid the thought of cobwebs or being stuck down here for all of eternity. After all, he’d left the map behind upstairs. Surely, someone would piece together where he’d gone.

The bones he tripped over said otherwise. 

Moisture gathered along the sides of the path and Anakin had to alternate between keeping his wand pointed forward and down at the ground to ensure he didn’t run into a wall.

“Or anything else.”

Occasionally, there were other crudely drawn pictures on the wall, but Anakin kept his stride and ignored them, noting only that it seemed like they were following him as he walked. His steps echoed throughout the tunnel, completely in tandem with the dripping sound in the distance, which seemed to grow all the more prevalent the faster he walked.

“I’m not afraid.” He said and steeled his courage to continue onward.

As the light from his wand reflected off of a cracked human skull, he swallowed and repeated the same mantra. He was placed in Gryffindor house for a reason and would sooner die than be labeled as weak or cowardly.

That didn’t stop him from hurrying even faster in his direction, drifting through and around the winding labyrinth in hopes of running smack into a door that led anywhere at this point. He would even accept an entryway into Headmaster Yoda’s office. Detention was looking pretty good in comparison to the wet stone-lined walls. 

Anakin froze in his tracks as the droplets, which had previously been falling with impressive speed and sound, abruptly stopped.

He waved his wand around and tried to keep his movements silent. Anything that lived this far below the surface of light and warmth likely didn’t thrive on eyesight alone. When the time spent still seemed to blend together and his arm ached from keeping his wand out, he released a heavy breath.

He needed to keep his anxieties at bay.

That was difficult to do when a hot gust of foul air blasted him forward to his hands and knees. When he slowly turned his head, he was meant with two golden eyes and the source of the dripping sound. Only, as Anakin raised his wand and revealed the full extent of the metal gate, it wasn’t water, but blood.

***

“How old are you, Mr. Fett?” Mace Windu’s voice was one you did not question or interrupt, especially when he was angry or upset. Unfortunately for most students, Professor Windu was usually some degree of displeased. However, as he paced back forth across his large office, casting his disapproving glare on Cody, who sat front and centered with his head tilted down, he seemed particularly peeved.

“I’m 15, sir.” He kept his tone even.

“And correct me if I’m wrong, but you aren’t a fool, right?”

Satine suspected it had to do with the fact that he was in what she assumed to be pajamas. She and Obi-Wan, being the prefects that broke up the scuffle, stood behind Cody, while Pong Krell was somewhere in the hospital wing getting a bloody lip and snout tended to by the healers. While she didn’t approve of Cody’s methods, she knew he likely had his reasons for lashing out. Rex, who was the only one who could get him to stop swinging at Krell, was too upset to drag any information from.

“I asked you a question.” Windu said after a long period of stunted silence.

Satine exchanged a concerned look with Obi-Wan, who was just as stiff and uncomfortable to be in the room as she was. Neither wanted to see their friend get in trouble, even if he did end the bonfire in record-breaking time. 

“No, sir.” Cody gritted while keeping his eyes on his shoes.

“I was just checking, because when I got the notice that the captain of Gryffindor’s Quidditch team was throttling a prefect in the midst of an upperclassmen event, I thought: well, that sounds like the behavior of a childish savage. And I never took you for that. But maybe, I was wrong.”

Cody chose not to respond, which was the wisest case scenario given the circumstances. 

“You’re not a child anymore, Mr. Fett, which means it is no longer suitable for you to handle your issues like one. When I granted you position as captain of the team, I figured that regardless of your youth, you might grow to the occasion and recognize that you are in a position of responsibility. If my prefects and captains all behave like you did tonight, what will become of the following generations?”

Again, Cody didn’t answer, but that wasn’t acceptable for Professor Windu, who smacked a hand on his desk, letting each student start at the reverberation.

“We would have chaos!” He said quietly. “We’ve been in school for no more than two months and I fear I made the wrong decision.”

“What?” Cody’s head shot up, vigor returned to his voice.

“Ah, he speaks.” He said sardonically.

“Professor?” Obi-Wan suddenly spoke up, “I believe Krell instigated the altercation, sir.”

“Krell has been nothing more than an exemplary student, Mr. Kenobi.” Windu turned his attention to him and Satine quietly hoped she would not lose two friends to his fiery gaze in one evening. “And I have several eye witness accounts saying he never took a single swing… Not even in retaliation.”

“He’s been bullying my brother!” Cody protested, “All to get back at me for being promoted as captain.”

“From what I understand, Mr. Krell has been implementing certain measures of discipline regarding your brother’s less than exemplary record- some simple cleaning and chores here and there. He’s been tardy and on more than one occasion caught causing mischief alongside Skywalker.”

At that, Windu cast a pointed look towards Obi-Wan, who stiffened beside Satine.

“That’s not what’s happening.” Cody said, “He’s hardly had any time to himself lately. He looks exhausted! You can’t see it, because Krell covers his tracks.”

“If by “covers his tracks”, you mean he has several esteemed recommendations from all of his professors, several records of voluntary community service, a near-perfect GPA, and has never stepped a toe out of line, I’d say yes, he does. And he does it well.”

At that, Windu looked to Obi-Wan and Satine for any source of confirmation. Satine cleared her throat.

“With all due respect, Professor, Ben and myself are also both historically “in line” and we know Cody. We can vouch that he would never act without reason to do so.”

He narrowed his eyes at her in consideration, “Yes, I know that, Ms. Kryze, but you of all people likely agree that Mr. Fett’s actions were brash and impetuous. That cannot go overlooked.”

“Please don’t remove him from the team, sir.” Obi-Wan said, “I’ve seen Krell and Rex and I do believe it deserves a closer look. Perhaps if you switched them-”

“-Rex, himself, has not made a formal complaint.” Windu sighed, “And the rules dictate that he would not only need to do so, but I would need more than hearsay from a family member that took to swinging before considering how that might tarnish his reputation.”

Off both Obi-Wan and Satine’s disappointed looks, he sighed, “But, it would be foolish not to consider all angles. The team rallies behind Cody and so do his brothers. Do not mistake this as a free pass. Should you pull another stunt like this, you will be stripped of your status as captain. Do you hear me, Fett?”

Cody looked up, anger blazing in his eyes. “I hear you, sir. What of Krell?”

“If what you three claim is true, I will intervene. I wish you came to me as opposed to fighting first. In the meantime, 50 points will be deducted from Gryffindor and you will require peer mediation classes, Mr. Fett. It’s best if we get that anger in check before you truly hurt someone.”

Cody opened his mouth to respond, but Satine nudged him. While she didn’t believe it to be fair, she knew that his mouth could only get him into further trouble.

“Thank you, sir.” He said instead and stood to his feet.

“Satine, Obi-Wan, please see him back to the Gryffindor common room. I’ve got to send an owl to the Krell household. I doubt we will be expecting a pleasant response.”

They nodded and escorted Cody back to the painting of the fat lady in silence. Obi-Wan tried to start an amicable conversation to lighten the mood with little results. It wasn’t fair and they all knew it. While Satine, herself, had never known Pong Krell to be cruel, she’d never really come into contact with him as much as Cody did. She’d always believed their rivalry was more in Cody’s head than in reality, but after tonight, it was obvious that it went deeper than it seemed.

“I won’t just take this lying down.” Cody said, “Windu isn’t going to do anything.”

“We’ll figure something out, mate.” Obi-Wan said gently and watched as Cody muttered the password and stepped inside the corridor. They watched it close behind him, understanding that this wouldn’t be the last of it. The Fett’s were not known for the ability to release grudges, especially when it came to one of their own.

She and Obi-Wan didn’t talk much as they walked back to the Ravenclaw common room. It was likely they had different opinions on the matter. She was annoyed that Cody simply acted before thinking about the consequences. If they took the time to build a case against Krell instead of socking him in the jaw, they might have met more success. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, probably understood Cody’s desire to act a little more thoroughly. 

“I just hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.” She said finally as he held the door open for her to enter inside.

“Me neither.” He agreed.

Well, at least they had something they agreed on.

Before ascending the staircase to go up to the two juxtapositioned bookcases that covered the respective dorms, she turned to bid him goodnight.

“Well, I’m sure we’ll be hearing more of this tomorrow.” She said.

“So much for Halloween.” He said.

“Yeah.” She laughed lightly, “Well there’s always next year. We ought to both dress as knights next time if there’s to be another joust.”

He nodded and she started to turn, feeling exhaustion from the evening that was cut short weighing on her a little too heavily at this point. However, his gentle voice stopped her.

“Satine?” He asked.

“Yes?” She turned back to him, briefly taking in with mild intrigue how his hair wasn’t even slightly out of place after wearing a helmet all evening. It must have been charmed.

“How did the story actually end?”

It took her a moment to understand what he was referring to, since a lot had transpired since their earlier argument.

“Oh, that.” She ran a hand through her hair, loosening the top part from its braid. “We- they fall in love.”

“The muggle knight and the witch?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She said lightly, not quite knowing what to expect from his reaction.

He considered that for a moment and then smiled, “You’re right, that’s much better.”

And he turned to open the bookcase and walked up a separate set of steps, leaving Satine breathless and staring where he’d previously been. It wasn’t until the bookcase shut behind him that she felt safe to release the breath that had been caught in her throat.

“It is.” She hummed.

***

Anakin was supposed to be in bed right now.

However, he was far from tired as he gazed into bright golden eyes that broke through the shadowed obscurity beyond the gate, which was so much more ominous than the blackest night. The eyes simultaneously intrigued and frightened him, but all the same, he felt the intense gravitational pull forwards. His mind fought this urge, reminding himself of the bloody remains of an unlucky figure that lay to the side. 

Soft puffs of hot air rustled through his hair, warm like a sea breeze, but metallic in stench as they continued their staredown. Why was it kept down here? And for how long? Did the professors and headmaster know about this? He was beginning to understand his mother’s hesitance in Hogwarts, but Anakin really didn’t have time to consider any of those thoughts too decisively, because he was overwhelmed by fascination rather than fear. He wasn’t sure how he knew, but he swore this creature was sad and wanting for freedom. Maybe, Anakin saw a bit too much of himself in it.

“Um, hi?” He tried meekly.

A soft but curious growl seemed to vibrate from the creature and through the floor. When he made no signs of aggression, he carefully reached forward and watched with severity for any harsh movement. His fingers grazed the gate to nothing. Instead, it sounded almost like the beast purred at Anakin’s curiosity. The real question was whether this was part of a trap or sheer delight over cognizant interaction.

He waved his wand around, using the light to gage what its living conditions were like and while it appeared to Anakin that the interior was quite large, his small bulb of lumination could not make out the actual shape and length of the creature itself, just that its front was rounded like a giant boulder and that it had a jagged maroon burn mark down its orange skin. He couldn’t see any teeth, but the gate had deep and inconsistent indents scattered around as well as slash lines. 

Clearly, it had tried to escape.  

“It must get lonely down here.” Anakin whispered.

The beast didn’t answer, but closed its eyes when Anakin’s hand reached the scaly surface of what he could only assume was a snout and heavily exhaled. It felt as though it was covered in hard plates and rocks that reminded him of what he’d always imagined dinosaurs to feel like. Between the ridges, he could detect a squishy and smooth skin and even with the light brush of his fingertips, it still flinched. Still, he didn’t hesitate to make small and comforting strokes as his mother would when he was plagued by nightmares. Being stuck in this labyrinth for a couple hours was depressing enough, let alone locked away for an extended period of time.

The gate was far too weak to not be enchanted somehow, and whenever Anakin brushed against it, he realized it was much sturdier than it appeared. And yet, it did not appear to affect human beings. By the way the creature remained a good meter behind the opening and the scabbed over burns and cuts across its skin, it wasn’t difficult to deduce that the gate was somehow cursed to maintain this specific creature. 

And yet, Anakin felt something in his soul, a kinship, that seemed to haunt him and tempt him all in the same breath. He averted his gaze from the golden eyes, because in them, he could see the destruction of the past and future. Who’s past and future, he did not know. All he knew was that there was only pain and suffering here and he desperately wanted an escape. 

He started at the faded sound of the clock that habitually rang every evening at midnight and every day at noon. He’d evidently gotten used to sleeping through it if he didn’t have astronomy, but while significantly muffled, Anakin was surprised to be able to hear it clearly from down this way.

When the beast stirred beneath his touch, Anakin turned his gaze and noticed a domineering shadow cast off the corner wall in the opposite direction. Steps that carried weight echoed across the stone floor at a brisk pace, crisp oxford’s clicking with purpose. For a brief second, Anakin felt relieved he’d been found. However, as he turned his head back to the suddenly recoiled beast, he realized with horror that any individual that kept a mysterious monster down in the hidden tunnels of Hogwarts, was likely not a friend to him.

So, as far as he could see, he had a choice and he’d made it considerably quickly. This was good, because by the time he managed to squeeze himself through the small cracked opening in the grate, the figure turned the corner and stood where he’d just been.

He gripped his wand so tight that it felt as though it might become a part of him and desperately tried to slow down his heart that was clattering in his chest. He raised a finger to his lips in futile hopes of agreeing to silence with this creature. Clearly afraid from past experience, it huffed and backed away from the entry point. The hooded individual did not speak, but Anakin kept himself at a curious angle that only allowed him minimal access while also remaining hidden. 

Even in the darkness that engulfed the room, the figure’s cloaks were an obsidian that Anakin could not name and they shrouded his face completely. His wand was at the ready and a brief gleam of cobalt lightning struck the beast and for the first real time, Anakin saw the full extent of it from his spot curled in a ball in the corner. It turned out, there was much more to it than the head that Anakin had only caught a glimpse of. It was the most massive thing Anakin had ever seen- looking more like a mega-maxed lizard at the intimidating size of around 90 meters. It was lean for its length, but covered completely in the orange and yellow plates that he had previously felt. Its arms and legs had gigantic talons on the ends of its digits and the same was said for the end of the tip of its tail, which could wrap around the entirety of the brute and then have some leftover. 

He winced at the persistent waves of shocks that enraged it, bringing its eyes to a mean red glow as its body spasmed. As its shrill shriek rattled the entire structure, causing specks of dust to crumble down from the ceiling, all Anakin could notice was the row of knives that layered its mouth in several sets, suitable to tear through anything.

Though they’d talked about it in school, it was the first time Anakin had ever seen magic used to destroy rather than create and he would never forget the tears it brought to his eyes at the power and tragedy of it all.  

Still, there wasn’t much he could do against actual lightning. He doubted that wingardium leviosa or alohomora would be of much assistance in this instance, and that was about as deep as his useful magic went at the moment. Transfiguration would take a great deal of effort that he couldn’t spare due to the amount of focus it was taking not to let his teeth chatter.

He tried to use the reflected light from the torturous magic spell to check out his surroundings, noting that to his right across the surprisingly spacious cavern (after all, it could fit this thing), there was another gate that led somewhere, anywhere, that was not where Anakin currently was trapped. 

He rushed across the clearing, trying very hard to banish the thoughts of the beast and its woeful and angry cries with tears of his own streaming down his cheeks. He bit his lip so hard that he could taste blood and when he slid down a small slope and squeezed under the miniscule space between the second gate and the ground, he landed hard on smooth stone flooring. There was a lever to his right hand side that was ever tempting to yank and he rested his hand there for just a moment, pondering this option. He could see above just how deep this cavern was thanks to sparsely located enchanted candles that illuminated each corner of this… temple. 

He swore the stones that towered up to the top of the ceiling had faces carved in compliance to their shadows that grimaced down at him with further reminder that he did not belong here. To his left, a long pathway that led to a tunnel far better lit than the one Anakin had traveled wound into obscurity and alongside it was an array of statues of warriors immortalized in suffering. The detail on them was shockingly accurate and Anakin wondered for a brief moment just how they’d captured such likeness.

“YOU THERE!” A hissing voice crept in his ear and cold shock permeated through him enough to freeze him in place.

Anakin didn’t dare breathe, let alone speak. His mind was surely playing tricks on him. When silence was all that persisted, he finally dared to turn around and noticed that the hooded figure was no more.

His breath grew ragged, but his eyes, however, could not stop taking the space in under sharper clarity, as though that would find him a way out. There was a stone table with a sword delved through it, dried blood caked into the surface and above it, one clear word: sacrifice.

A firm hand clasped his shoulder, the feeling of a cold ring bearing into his collarbone and it took everything in his power not to scream.

“Right on time.” A thick voice whispered. “Last words?”

Rage coiled over Anakin and he turned in the man’s grasp, still unable to see his face through the bleakness of the cloaks.

“So, what? You’re just going to kill some little kid? So tough.” He griped, “I’ve known guys like you my whole life: magic or not. And I’ll never be afraid of you.”

A sardonic laugh echoed off the walls, but the man still retained his quiet vibrato, “I’m not the one you should fear. It was foretold that you would be here.”

“By who?” Anakin just wanted to know who snitched. Viz? How would he have this sort of connection.

“My master.” And while he couldn’t see it, Anakin could sense a wicked grin breaking way on his captor’s face. 

“Well, sir, as much as I’d like to be your cultish human sacrifice, I think you’ve got bigger fish to fry right now.”

“Oh?”

A gust of hot breath propelled them forward, knocking Anakin out of the phantom’s cold grasp and onto his behind. It gave him the immaculate view of the figure in question getting knocked into the stone table. The man was temporarily subdued in stillness. When he thought the beast would finish the job, though, it whipped its head back towards Anakin and growled.

“Or,” Anakin winced, “Maybe I’ve got a bigger fish to fry.”

He leapt just at the moment the beast charged and landed on the top of its head. It pushed forward and up, crushing through the ceiling and only persisting upwards from there. Anakin did everything in his power to keep his hold on one of the spikes that protruded from its back. The beast roared and while Anakin could not understand its language, it sounded like vindication. Trouble was, as they broke through layer after layer of this secluded chamber, Anakin realized, with a strange concoction of relief and horror, that they would soon no longer be underground, but torpedoing straight through Hogwarts. 

***

Obi-Wan liked to think he took his position as prefect quite seriously. He was diligent in his patrols, prudent with reports, and reasonable with other students. He refused to be the kind that found trouble in everything, but if presented to him, would not hesitate to administer detention. He never cared much for what most of the other students thought of him anyway. He acquired that skill from his formative years at Hogwarts.

While his vigilance was visible to any that could be seen, it didn’t make being jostled awake by a raging scream any easier. He still leapt into immediate, even if a little bleary, action while he checked on all of the boys in his dormitory, alongside the other prefects, before advising them to remain calm and still in the event that there was somehow an intruder.

It was well known that Hogwarts was charmed to prevent such an occurrence, but such precautions should not be withheld simply because the likelihood of something was miniscule. 

The sixth year prefect, a rodian named Onaconda Farr, opted to stay back with the underclassmen in case anything went awry in the dorms, but if Hogwarts was sealed from all danger, the dorms were even doubled in those efforts, forbidding even those of the opposite gender to enter.

Obi-Wan and the seventh year prefect, Dantum Roohd, meandered through the bookcase to see their female prefect counterparts waiting for them with raised wands. Mon Mothma and Satine Kryze were ever formidable looking, even clad in pajamas. Satine, in particular, looked bright eyed and focused, despite the disarray of her hair, which fell half up and half down and off-centered, regardless of the original intent. 

“Any word from Professor Dooku?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Nothing as of now.” Mon Mothma replied grimly. “I wonder if the other houses have had such luck.”

“Would it be wise to investigate?” Dantum asked. “Do we think it’s a Halloween prank?”

He was answered not by either girl, but by a rumbling that nearly knocked each of them off their feet. To Obi-Wan, it felt reminiscent of an earthquake, only exclusive to Hogwarts, like it came from the belly of the school.

“I’d like to see a prank that could make the entire school shake.” Satine said. 

When the jostling returned, a deafening screech came with it and each tried to manage keeping their hands against their ears while also maintaining balance. A loud slam followed by the noise of crumbling infrastructure and each prefect looked at each other in shared alarm.

A moment of silence and stillness came before the window behind Satine was no longer depicting the glorious night sky, but a singular bloodshot eye.

“Oh that is not good.” He said.

Satine turned around in confusion and her eyes bulged in shock, “Oh, fu-”

“-We’ve got to find the professors.” Dantum said.

“Not without ensuring the safety of the underclassmen.” Mon Mothma argued, “Whatever that thing is, it’s scaled the tower!” 

“We’ll split up.” Obi-Wan offered loudly, trying to battle for dominance with the persistent shrieks from outside. His heart was hammering in his chest, “Satine and I will search for help and make sure there aren’t any stragglers while you two gather the students and take them to Slytherin’s common room.”

It was the only option that made sense. Slytherin’s common room was the most underground portion of Hogwarts and would suffer the least amount of damage from any beast that could take to the sky and physically climb across the entirety of Hogwarts without consequence.

“A sound enough plan given the circumstances.” Mon Mothma agreed, “Though sending two fifth years into the chaos seems-”

“-Like something we do not have time to debate.” Satine cut her off and grabbed Obi-Wan by the hand to pull him into a run outside the door of their common room. Under normal circumstances, he might have been taken back by the sudden contact, but considering a raging monster was trying to pry Hogwarts apart, he didn’t pay mind to the physical guidance. 

“We’ve got to find Dooku or Qui-Gon!” He yelled as they sprinted, nearly side by side down the stairwell of the tower, stumbling occasionally as the beast seemed to rock the tower back and forth as though it were designed to bobble. Absently, Obi-Wan wondered if it had been constructed for such a possibility. 

“That is the plan.” She returned sharply, just narrowly dodging a piece of debris that fell from the ceiling. “I thought Hogwarts was charmed to prevent physical attacks from magical or non magical creatures!”

“You know, this is new for me too.” He said.

After finally bursting through the thick doors that led to the tower, moaning ghosts fluttered by them but no active signs of life. 

“Okay, we should start by-” Satine stopped abruptly and looked at him in horror as if he’d just slapped her in the face.

“What?” He panicked, looking around him to ensure that he had somehow not transformed into an ugly yellow-eyed monster. “What’s wrong?”

“What on earth are you wearing?” She asked, voice high.

He blanched, mouth gaping like a fish out of water. It was safe to say it felt like he’d been knocked backwards into a pond of freezing water he was so off-guard. “What am I- These- Pajamas! What’s it to you?” He flared at the end of it.

Normally, he would never give Satine the opportunity to see him in sleepwear. He hardly accepted the notion that his classmates had to see him in vulnerable dress. However, he never thought them abnormal, since his parents wore a similar make. They were button-up in style, with a pocket square in the front that had the Kenobi crest pressed into it like a hard plate. The pattern, admittedly, was quite unusual and resembled a kaleidoscope of large boxes that housed several little boxes on the inside in a series of greens, blues, grays, browns, and oranges that often collided with one another. The collar had frills on it and the back even had a buttflap in case there was cause to rush in the middle of the night. He angled himself so Satine could not get a glimpse of that, of course.

“Those are not pajamas!” She shook her head, brow furrowed, “Those look like… Carny clothes!”

“They’re traditional!” He argued.

“They’re hideous.” 

“Satine!”

She reached out and touched them, “And they’re scratchy! How on earth do you sleep in those?”

He didn’t know what she meant by that. Though upon looking at her closer, she was dressed very differently in a grey t-shirt and navy sweatpants. 

Obi-Wan flinched, shaking off her hand while his face burned hot. “Can you please focus?”

She choked out a laugh, “I’ll try, but by God, I might be blind now after looking at you.”

“Meetra Surik!” Obi-Wan called the youngest-looking ghost that passed by, eager to get away from this line of conversation. She died an outcast from the rest of her peers and loved to lament over it.

“Kenobi!” She whirled, never a fan of Obi-Wan for his tendency to block her view of Cody, who she had a notorious crush on. Far be it from him to explain the difficulties that might arise in that pairing- the primary of which being that one was dead and one was alive. “Can’t you go bother someone else? I’m not trying to die twice in this horrid place.”

“That’s not physically possible, Meetra.” He sighed and tried to bring himself to a level of calmness he didn’t feel. “What in the blazes is going on?”

“Bloody hell if I know!” She roared, “I was on my nightly stroll through the herbology lab, debating on whether or not I should pluck a mandrake and stick it outside Professor Yaddle’s office, you know, because of the slander she spreads about me in her History of Magic class…”

Obi-Wan and Satine exchanged a confused glance, neither being able to note any reference of slander from Professor Yaddle, let alone in regards to any of her former students. However, as Obi-Wan thought of it, there was a brief unit on the deaths of Hogwarts students and Meetra might have been mentioned at some point because of this. 

“When a tentacle came straight through the screen and almost took my head clean off! I didn’t even know that was possible!” She gasped and squished her face into a scowl, “Must be a return of the Kraken.”

“Oh, shut it, you silly girl!” The thick brogue of Vima Sunrider cut her off on what would surely be a lengthy rant.

“Girl? I’m well over a thousand years old!”

“Yes, but you died a girl, which means your maturity is stunted. Now move it along and stop spreading slander to the children.” The older ghost said. 

Meetra stuck her tongue out at her, if not only just to prove Vima’s point. Before turning on her heels to continue floating in the direction she’d been heading towards. She paused before facing Obi-Wan again.

“Oh, Kenobi? Do tell that charming chaser friend of yours that I was asking for him.” She giggled.

“Ah yes, will do.” He coughed awkwardly and Satine raised an eyebrow at him in question. “Don’t ask.” He murmured. 

When Vima Sunrider did not stop and hurriedly went in the opposite direction, towards the library, Obi-Wan and Satine both had the presence of thought to follow her, having to jog to keep up with the pace she was keeping. Paintings fell off the walls at the continued agitation, which became so overwhelming, that Satine was knocked into him at one point. They slammed against the bookcase and onto the floor. A copy of “Quidditch Through the Ages” fell onto his head.

“Sorry,” She muttered, ears bright red as she immediately pulled herself off his lap. 

“S’okay.” He returned while forcing his eyes on the somber ghost that trailed straight through the lines of bookcases with effortless confidence that she knew where they were without so much as looking up. Obi-Wan knew too, because he’d quietly admired the section they were approaching during his entire career as a student of Hogwarts: the restricted section. His thirst for knowledge was overwhelming, but he always banished thoughts of sneaking in without much care.

He gave Satine an uncertain stare as they passed the barrier, but she only rolled her eyes at him.

“I think the teachers might forgive our indiscretion in light of more precedent events, Ben. Considering Godzilla is taking over the school.”

He frowned, “Who?”

“Nevermind.” She shook her head, and walked next to Vima Sunrider when they came to a halt. “Have you any idea going on, Lady Sunrider?”

A crack of lightning outside added to the horrors occurring and the whole building seemed to rattle in response. Specks of dust fluttered down and more ghosts seemed to round the corner in an effort to race to the dungeons. Behind them, Obi-Wan could hear the sounds of rapid footsteps and muffled voices of concern, meaning Mon Mothma and Dantum Roohd were performing their end of the deal.

The old ghost seemed to consider this, wisdom in her eyes as she gazed out beyond the windows of which she hadn’t crossed in centuries. Droplets of rain traced haphazardly down the glass panes and drizzled into obscurity. White light and thunderous shrieks raged outside of Hogwarts, which tried its best to fend off the attempted intruder. 

She ran a hand through long white hair and grimaced, “I thought they’d died out.”

“What’s that?” Obi-Wan asked.

“The impenetrable behemoth. The mystical demon. The wizard-killer.” She listed the names in a tone that almost sounded revering before whispering, “The Zillo Beast.”

“Zillo Beast?” Satine wrinkled her nose. “I’ve never read of a Zillo Beast?”

“Not everything that’s true is found in books, Ms. Kryze.” She said knowingly. “And the mystery that is the Zillo Beast, while unbelievable, is true. Wizards of the past saw to extinguishing them and those that did not… Had other purposes in mind.”

“But, the magical barriers-” Obi-Wan began.

“-Are useless against creatures that are alleged to be extinct.” She said. “The Zillo Beast was long gone before Hogwarts was even a blink in the founder’s eyes. Or so we believed that to be the case.”

“Then why do you know of it?” He asked, a bit flustered that he’d forgotten how Vima knew the founders of Hogwarts quite well and had eventually been a professor here, despite having never attended.  

“A village of my ancestors met their fiery deaths to this beast. They are indestructible, and bring havoc in their paths.” She said. “And they were only rumored to rise as the darkest omen.”

“How do we stop it?” Obi-Wan asked.

Vima’s gaze was full of years that matched a life of unparalleled knowledge- at least to the living- and her mouth was set in a frown. Then, she broke out into a laugh, as if realizing he was being serious and it was just the most tickling joke in the world.

“You don’t, boy. This is only confirming what we ghosts have known for quite some time.” She wiped a tear from her eye, still chuckling, “The prophecy has started. The darkest of times are approaching. Everything will burn.”

“You mean, Hogwarts?” Satine asked warily.

“Hogwarts, the wizarding community, the world.” She said darkly, eyes caught on the rainfall once again as the beast raged in the distance, “And it’s only the beginning.”

“Well, maybe you’ve given up.” Satine said stiffly, hands clenched into tight fists, “But we haven’t. If you’re not going to help us, we’ll find another way.”

Obi-Wan always marveled at Satine’s conviction, even if she couldn’t possibly have a plan up her sleeve in such an unpredictable occurrence. She still seemed beyond sure of herself and her moral compass, steeled in the right direction each and every time. He often wondered what he did to deserve a friend like that.

However, when he glanced down to the bookcase in front of them, he frowned, “Why did you take us here, Lady Sunrider?”

She smiled, “I think you’ve already figured it out, sir Ravenclaw.” 

Satine followed his line of sight and noticed the empty space and knelt to reach eye level with the lower corner. “There should be a book there.”

It was true. Every book in the section had been filed in its proper space except one, which left a gaping empty slot conveniently towards the end of the shelf.

“Alphabetically, it easily could have been about Zillo Beasts.” He reported after scanning his eyes across the surrounding titles. 

“Which means that someone within the castle was investigating them prior to this incident.” Satine finished.

They stared at each other in wide-eyed concern. If they were correct, it proposed the insinuation that someone at Hogwarts brought this Zillo Beast to the school. 

“Oh, we really need to find a professor.” Obi-Wan said. And while it went unsaid, who he actually meant was Qui-Gon, because he knew he could trust the man with his life, which was exactly what this occasion required. Anyone else, it seemed, could have been a suspect of all this.

***

“Okay, I think you can stop now!” Anakin yelled as the beast veered them all over the place, occasionally taking to the night sky and offering what otherwise, would have been a lovely view of Hogwarts and the black lake. Trouble was, this beast was presently rocking against Ravenclaw tower and shaking it senselessly.

“I hope Obi-Wan’s okay.” He muttered and tried to further his grip on the creature to keep himself from falling off.

This was proving increasingly difficult as his mode of transportation only became increasingly sporadic. The beast didn’t have wings, thankfully, but was enormous in stature and climbed with ease up the towers, digging its talons into the stone as though it was made of clay. The third arm, which Anakin hadn’t taken notice of when they were in captivity, kept swinging around, trying to get a grasp on him. 

Its red eyes were trained forward in determination and used his tail to knock the roof clean off the astronomy tower.

“Seriously, I think you made your point!” He said and clenched tighter. He used whatever nails weren’t gnawed off from bad habit, and stuck them as deep as they could go into the squishy skin beneath the hard plates. This earned him a wild jerk up and down, slamming Anakin’s body hard and almost losing his footing on the spikes. 

“Sorry, sorry! Do what you want!” He added hastily.

It took a large leap that felt a little bit like flying and landed hard against the roof that housed the Great Hall and slithered across like it was no big deal, leaving damage in its wake. Anakin just did his best to focus on not throwing up and couldn’t help the high-pitched scream he released when the beast decided it was a good idea to free-fall down to the courtyard.

It bashed its head through the doorway, officially breaking way to the interior of Hogwarts.

***

Cody, despite having not elected to becoming a prefect, assembled the boy’s Gryffindor dorm in record-breaking time. It helped that three of its occupants were his little brothers, who were used to Cody’s drill-sergeant act in the summer when he woke them up for Quidditch games before sunrise. 

“Cody!” Rex called, voice quivering with panic. “Anakin’s not here!”

“What do you mean he’s not here?” He rushed over to Skywalker’s bunk and noted that the sheets were still pressed from whatever spell had done it the morning before and the bed was cool. Sure enough, his backpack was also missing from its usual residence beside his bed.

“Has anyone seen Skywalker?” He asked loudly to the rest of the boys, who all turned and looked at one another before shaking their heads in confusion. How far could one little first year boy get? Considering this was Anakin Skywalker, who had already built a bit of a reputation for himself as mischievous, very far.

“Krell, we’re down a man.” He walked over to the prefect, who was in the middle of his own role call.

“I haven’t gotten that far on my list yet, Fett. If you don’t mind-” He continued.

Cody grabbed him by the shoulders, consequences be damned, and pressed him against the bar of the bunk behind him, “Some ravenous beast is taking over the school and you don’t even care that a kid’s gone missing?”

Regardless of his negative feelings towards Krell, he was willing to put them aside in a moment of strife. Krell, upon noticing that Cody remotely cared about the kid missing, seemed to not hold that same level of professionalism or humanity. He should have known better than to assume anything more from the slimy weasel.

“Watch it, Fett.” He said around the ghost of a smile, “Wouldn’t want to make any hasty movements there.”

“And you call yourself a Gryffindor.” He said and shoved him away.

“I never said I didn’t care, but there’s a protocol to be followed here. I’m not going to go running off and get myself killed when statistically, I’d be more useful here and rest assured, I will fight to the death if need be. Better to sacrifice one than to lose all.”

“Well, you better put two down on your missing list, because I’m going after him.” Cody said and when Rex began to follow, he pointed a finger at his little brother. “Don’t you even think about it.”

“But-” He looked back at him, panic-stricken, but either Fives or Echo placed firm hands on his shoulders both to comfort and keep him in place.

***

Obi-Wan and Satine rounded the halls, being careful to jump over broken glass and splintered wood. Above them, the night sky was showcased due to the shattered pieces of the ceiling. The rain seemed to be slowing down, which was a relief, because a flood was the last thing the school needed at the moment. 

They were both relieved to find they hadn’t stumbled across any students that were lost or left behind, but were more concerned to note that the professors seemed to be completely missing in action.

“Maybe, they’re already tending to the problem?” Satine suggested as she kept up her stride beside him. A deafening blast beside them caused him to pull her close by the hand so they were burrowed in a tight corner. What looked to be a tail with large spikes on the end had broken through the wall across from them. Satine had just been standing there a few seconds before and that thought more than anything startled him.

They stayed still and silent and watched, trying not to indicate that there was possible food for the beast to enjoy. Their breaths intermingled as they kept their eyes burned to the vacant spot. Time seemed to drag impossibly long and it felt like this would never pass. Finally, the tail slipped away and the beast continued its rampage elsewhere in the building. While this wasn’t necessarily a comforting thought, it did allow the hammering in Obi-Wan’s ears to slow down a little bit.

“That was close.” Satine finally said around a heavy breath. They remained paralyzed where they were for good measure until enough time seemed to pass. 

“We’ve got to find that book. Maybe there’s a way on how to defeat it inside.” He said.

What was crystal clear was that someone didn’t want them to have that level of accessibility on hand. 

“I agree.” She nodded and then, remembering herself, slowly looked down at their joined hands, “Um-”

“Oh, terribly sorry!” He quickly retracted and cleared his throat, “Shall we continue?”

She took the lead and raced ahead. From then going forward, they remained closer to the interior wall as they ran risk of another outside blow coming inwards. The closest office would have been, in theory, Professor Windu’s, so they tried there first. He was easily the best at aggressive spells, even if this was likely more of Professor Dooku’s expertise.

“His door is locked.” Satine reported.

“And something tells me a simple unlocking spell isn’t going to do the trick.” He said around an exasperated sigh. She still tried every spell she could think of to no quantifying results.  Beside him, was a window and he tried his best to see through the rain to get any sort of glimpse at the Zillo Beast. Instead, all he could see was rain. 

“Come on, let’s try Dooku’s office.” She said and they turned on their heels to run but once they gained any real momentum, Obi-Wan found himself smacking into a solid object when circling another corner.

Instinctively, he stuck his wand out, but met a set of focused and familiar eyes.

“Cody?” He asked.

“What in the heavens are you doing?” Satine asked, clutching her chest.

“And why are you in your underwear?” Obi-Wan asked and used his wand to point to the fact that Cody was running around the castle in nothing more than a pair of red plaid boxers and a white sleeveless shirt. The boy wasn’t even wearing socks and didn’t look as though he was the least bothered by it.

“I don’t think you’ve got much room to talk when it comes to current wardrobe, mate.” Cody snickered.

“He’s got you there.” Satine added.

He clambered to his feet and whirled around to face her, face glowing once again, “He’s in his underwear! Are you kidding me?”

“You would think.” She said and nodded at Cody, who was still stifling his own laughter, “But Cody doesn’t get embarrassed and you still look like you are the reigning champion of an ugly pajama contest.”

“I guess it’s better than that nightgown you wore first year when you slept over my house that one-” Cody started, but Obi-Wan punched him in the arm, which only seemed to instigate his half-naked friend’s laughter.

“You promised never to speak of that again!” He complained. 

“You wore a nightgown?” She delved into laughter yet again.

“Oh, it had a buttflap just like this one.” Cody said as he turned around Obi-Wan, who placed his rear against the wall instantly. “And a matching cap!”

The two continued their little fit, which could have gone on for much longer than appropriate and in spite of the fact that Obi-Wan was presently contemplating setting himself on fire, he knew they needed to get to safety. 

“Can we- Can we please get on track? Bloodthirsty Zillo Beast, remember?”

  “Mhmm,” She giggled into her hand before clearing her throat, “Yes, uh- what are you doing out here, Cody?”

As soon as Cody was redirected again, his expression darkened. “You’d think my prefect would be out here on the front lines, but I think the sorting hat might have been in need of some patchwork when Krell was assigned Gryffindor house.”

“So, what? Are you planning on taking down the Zillo Beast in your boxers?”

“Not as ridiculous as being dressed as a clown,” He smirked and then straightened, “But you’re not going to like the sound of this.”

“I haven’t liked the sound of anything tonight.” Obi-Wan grumbled.

“Yeah, well, you’re really going to hate this, but… Skywalker’s missing.”

***

When Tyranus awoke from his state of unconsciousness, he was alone and beneath a layer of dust and debris. Despite his aching body, he rose to his feet and gazed upwards towards a soft draft. He was surprised to find himself alone, or at least, to see that there was no human carnage left behind. The offering table was still dry and fresh of blood, nor had the sword been removed from the center. Only the artifacts had experienced the beast’s true rath. 

Aside from the gaping hole in the ceiling of the once sacred Sith temple, there was no sign of the boy or the beast.

“This is all wrong.” He whispered and clenched his fist tightly.

The prophecy foretold differently and Tyranus had dedicated much of his time to relentlessly examining prophecies that many wizards looked over as folk tales. If what his master said was true, and this boy was to be the sacrificial lamb necessary to enact their quest of domination, tonight was meant to be his descent.

Of course, prophecies had many different meanings and the future was ever fickle. Perhaps, he’d taken it too literally or not literally enough. 

After the fullest Hallows Eve,

The dark beast shall rise as he descends,

And claim her sacrifice to achieve,

A conflict without mends.   

Was his master incorrect about the boy? Tyranus had been suspicious that such revered power could present in a child, but every powerful wizard had to start somewhere. Had that been the case, the Zillo Beast never should have had the strength to escape in the first place.

He stroked his beard, contemplating this only for a moment longer before allowing his eyes to drift over to the fallen statue of Plaguesis, the wise. His head had been crushed to a point of near unrecognition, but still looked fearsome. They all had their part to play in the creation of a greater power and Plaguesis’ had been to relay his exuberant knowledge to the next generation. He had met such a dastardly end by the hand of his own apprentice, but despite his wisdom, had been a fool for playing his entire hand. 

Tyranus twisted the ring around his finger- the one with his family’s crest set onto the garnet stone and thought on this. His master would never make such a mistake with Tyranus- creating just enough space of dependency between them to necessitate his existence. 

There was never a plan he knew the entirety of until the end result. The smallest of details could change an arrangement, after all. Even right now, as he literally stood in the darkness and was surrounded by a destruction of the past while the Zillo Beast’s shrieks echoed in the distance, a new possibility unforeseen arose in front of him.

Perhaps, the boy was not the true sacrifice after all.

***  

As a former Auror, Mace Windu had been exposed to his fair share of darkness both within himself and the outside world. He’d faced fates worse than death on a daily basis at one point in his life. It was part (but not the entire) reason he’d decided to switch to a career of teaching. Headmaster Yoda welcomed him with open arms and had encouraged this career change, stating that they would need a higher level of security at Hogwarts for the coming years anyway. At the time, Mace had been young and not quite sure what to make of that statement, but after teaching at Hogwarts for over twenty years, he finally understood. 

He’d been a former student himself- Gryffindor’s prefect, Quidditch captain, and eventual Head Boy of his year and he never remembered encountering evil during his school days. There was always going to be the occasional accidental mangling by a creature in the forbidden forest or a student that played around with magic the wrong way. It came with the territory of their world and while unfortunate, was not evil.

In the past few months, a change occurred in the belly of the school. The ghosts seemed either uncharacteristically jubilant or horrified, depending on their outlook on the living. As much as he hated to admit Qui-Gon was right, the dark mark had tinged the sky after the tragic burning of a muggle-born house in June.

There were mysterious noises that even Yoda had never heard before and they only seemed to occur at the darkest point of the night. Tonight, of course, was no different. No one could seem to identify where they came from and the established taskforce of Mace Windu, Count Dooku, Qui-Gon Jinn, Shaak Ti, and Sheev Palpatine always rotated where they looked and reported to Yoda. 

And now, there was a gigantic monster enrapturing all of Hogwarts. The first priority was ensuring the safety of his and the other house’s students. He hoped with everything in him that his prefects justified his choice. He went outside to the Quidditch pitches, and through the tunnels until he was in the locker room, relieved to see his three sets of prefects calling off roll to a large group of tired students. However, he knew from a second head count that two students were absent.

“Who’s missing?” He demanded. 

Krell frowned and looked to his checklist, “Anakin Skywalker and Cody Fett.”

Two indiscretions in one evening was rare for anyone, let alone someone with as much to lose as Cody Fett. 

“He went to look for Anakin!” Rex called from where he was situated between his two other brothers and by the looks of it, held down from searching for himself. 

“What would you like us to do?” Krell asked, wand at the ready to charge into battle. The other prefects looked just as set to act. Mace admired their bravery, but it was not what they needed right now.

“I want you to stay put.” He said to everyone. “I’m setting a series of protective charms onto this locker room as well as the girl’s locker room. I believe Hufflepuff has congregated there. Should you leave, you won’t be able to get in without my wand.”

“Makes sense since they play like a bunch of-” Fives began to joke, but was silently cut off by the rightfully lethal glare of Padm é Amidala.

“-Good players.” He finished instead and Echo snickered. “Shut-up, Echo.”

“I’d hardly call this a time for jest.” Krell said pointedly and looked to Mace again, “Trust that we will protect these quarters with our lives.”

“I should hope it won’t come to that.” He responded with a nod before turning back to the black night. As he exited and completed the necessary charms, he met Qui-Gon, Dooku, Shaak-Ti, and Yoda in the center of the pitch.

“I have two students missing.” He said, “Skywalker and a Fett.”

“I just returned from Slytherin’s chambers where Ravenclaw has gathered. I also have two students missing.” Dooku stroked his white beard, much calmer than Mace could ever be in this situation, “Kryze and Kenobi. Evidently, they went to look for stragglers and never returned.”

“We must make finding them our top priority.” Qui-Gon said, concern written all over his features.

“I concur.” Dooku placed a reassuring hand on Qui-Gon’s shoulder. “Truly, I do, but that could be futile if this beast sets the entire school ablaze.”

“What even is that beast, Headmaster?” Shaak Ti asked the question they’d all clearly wanted to.

“An ancient beast, it is.” Yoda said gravely. “Ancient magic, it will require.”

Unfortunately, they didn’t have anything like that on hand. Still, something in Qui-Gon seemed to stiffen as he shared a knowing look with Yoda. Mace tried to prevent the rise of envy that fought way, and instead practiced a calming routine he’d instilled whenever such ugly feelings tried to take hold of him. Yoda and Qui-Gon, despite the ladder being the only member of the taskforce without any true authority, had a bond, regardless of their varying disagreements. The largest agreement, of course, was the belief that all of this could be related to prophecy.

Mace had a difficult time believing that everything that would ever happen was written and predicted by the ancients that knew little of what they were doing, not even sure how to perform a simple fire-setting spell. However, he did try and pay attention when he was privy to these conversations. And this night, was awfully coincidental, if not prophetic.

“Missing, Palpatine also is.” Yoda cut into his thoughts.

“We must find him and the children.” Shaak Ti said. “Buildings can be rebuilt, but bodies cannot be spared from death.”

“Take to the perimeter we must. Capture this beast, we will.”

“Is there no way to kill it, Headmaster?” Dooku asked.

“Not us.” Qui-Gon answered for him.

***

“Anakin?” A kind and concerned voice called.

He popped his head up from where he’d been tucked against a jagged scale and noticed for the first time that the beast had halted, though it felt as though it was vibrating beneath him. A glowing blue aura surrounded him and through a film of this bright light, he could see the silhouette of Professor Palpatine, who had his hand outstretched. His dark blue eyes almost looked black in contrast to his pale skin. His white hair was slicked flat against his head. His robes were much more elegant and traditional than what Palpatine typically wore to teach his class. If he weren’t so relieved to see him, he might have been intimidated by the look. 

“Professor!” He beamed and then looked down to the beast, “How are you doing that?”

“I should be asking you the same thing.” He jested wearily, “Climb off.”

He did as he was told immediately and at first thought he might throw up from all the whiplash he’d endured, but while also subduing the beast with one hand, Palpatine reached out and steadied him with the other. Though he wouldn’t admit it later, he did cower a bit behind the old man before daring to peak out at the beast that caused sufficient damage to the school.

While still, its eyes burned with red fury and it wasn’t directed at Anakin but at Palpatine.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Palpatine said quietly and patted Anakin on the head, “Never forget, that everything has its weaknesses. Even this creature.”

“Are you hurting it?” He whispered.

Palpatine quirked an eyebrow at Anakin curiously, “Of course not. This is merely freezing it in motion. I am not powerful enough to take down a beast like this.”

Upon closer inspection, Anakin confirmed this to be true. Even the snarl of its teeth seemed to be caught in a chomping motion. What it planned to do with those teeth, made him shiver. Its hatred and delivery of attack was clear and yet Palpatine didn’t hesitate to act against it. 

“What is it?” He asked.

“This, my dear boy, is an ancient being called the Zillo Beast. It is notorious for hunting and mutilating wizards in ancient times. They were believed to be ridden of this earth by a famous wizard named Revan.”

And here Anakin believed it to be a friend. He internally cursed.

“Sir, I have to be honest with you.” He trembled and felt a swell of guilt overcome him, “I-I’m the one who-”

However, within the aura of enchantment, Anakin saw that vibrating that he felt beneath his touch a mere moment before turning into a full blown tremble and before he could comment on it, the beast broke the spell like shattered glass. The loudest and hottest burst of hot air expelled them backwards and the beast craned its neck to hover over an unconscious Palpatine, seeming to revel in the moment of conquest and Anakin knew, for the second time that night, what evil truly felt like.

And it was all his fault.

***

“So, you two think that one of the professors unleashed that thing?” Cody asked as they ran, strides intensifying even as the sounds of damage seemed to localize in the distance. He was the superior runner by a longshot, but kept his pace in line with theirs. Satine always appreciated that about him, even if it was a little foolhardy to go running about clad only in underwear.

“Unless it was a very advanced student, yes.” Obi-Wan returned, also not quite out of breath from all the incessant running. Satine decided then and there that she could benefit from more exercise.

“All because some book was missing?” He asked.

“It’s a little too coincidental, wouldn’t you say?” She countered as they avoided a coat of arms that was currently scattered across the ground in their path. “It’s not like ghosts or poltergeists can check out library books.”

“And students require permission to access the section.” Obi-Wan said.

“Remember when you said a little reading wouldn’t kill me?” Cody retorted, “Boy, were you two wrong about that, huh?”

“The book likely carries the information on how to stop it so no, we are not wrong.” Obi-Wan said, but his snarkiness wavered when they turned a bend- his gaze straightforward with concern, “I can’t believe Anakin never returned to bed last night.”

“We’ll find him.” She promised with as much sincerity as she could allow, but this proved difficult as she hopped over a fallen bookshelf in her way. “For all we know, he could have just snuck out to snatch sweets.”

Though when she caught Cody’s eye, both had their suspicions that not only was Anakin involved in all of this somehow, but was likely in danger. Neither was about to voice these thoughts to Obi-Wan, who took his responsibility as mentor very seriously on top of his equally serious prefect status. She didn’t know what she would do if it was Viz somewhere lost in the fold of chaos. 

“Any leads on the professor?” Cody asked and really, she wished they could stop talking while they were sprinting. 

“Yes, we’ve just been dripping with success on the case since we’ve been running for our lives.” Satine said tartly.

“Well, excuse me,” He huffed, “Just trying to collaborate.”

“You know how Satine is when she doesn’t get her proper sleep.” Obi-Wan said and by God, if they weren’t running in ardent determination to find Obi-Wan’s missing mentee from a bloodthirsty monster, she would have tripped him. 

She didn’t have time to conjure up a comeback to his remark, because she stuck an arm out to stop them both in their tracks when something through the gaping hole beside them caught her gaze. Cody followed suit and halted a few meters ahead of them before moving back in confusion. She didn’t take her eyes off the distance, though, and for very good reason.

Clinging to the side of the astronomy tower, was the Zillo Beast in full form. 

***

Qui-Gon and Dooku rounded the stairs up the shaking astronomy tower, not entirely certain of whether or not it could withstand the tension caused by the Zillo Beast, but determined all the more. Despite his age, Dooku took every other step with graceful and unparalleled ease that rivaled Qui-Gon’s own footwork. It was part of why he respected him so and aimed to mirror his collectivity. Even still, they had their differences. Qui-Gon, for instance, was finding it very difficult not to worry for the missing children, with Anakin in particular being the most concerning. 

Dooku had always been more reserved with how he demonstrated care, but after spending decades working together and before that being taught by Dooku, Qui-Gon could read these tells efficiently. His steps were heavy and his eyes were clear with purpose. His friend and former mentor meant nothing but business, but his heart was every bit as involved as his mind. 

“If you taught him well, he will keep Skywalker safe.” He said when they reached the top of the stairs. 

They pushed through the entrance to find a stand-off of sorts. Palpatine lay unconscious and helpless against a stone pillar while young Anakin Skywalker tearfully pointed his quivering wand at the beast, which surprisingly made no moves to attack him. It was as though they were communicating only in their minds. It was unlike anything Qui-Gon had ever seen before, though he’d never witnessed a Zillo Beast in the flesh and never assumed he would given it was supposed to be extinct.

“Anakin!” He called, who broke his gaze with the creature and looked to them with fear in his eyes.

“Don’t come any closer!” He yelled. “It- It’s all my fault!”

Dooku pointed his wand purposefully at the Zillo Beast, but spoke calmly to Anakin, “It’s alright, come here and we can discuss it at a later time.”

The Zillo Beast was enraged at its company, screeching and turning to Dooku with a newfound disrespect, propelling itself forward. Had Qui-Gon not been quick enough to yank them both out of the way, they both would have been crushed.

“Stop it!” Anakin cried, “Don’t hurt them!”

It didn’t seem too keen on listening to his instructions, despite the obvious connection between the two of them, and instead snapped its razor-sharp teeth at them. Qui-Gon tried just about every attack and defense spell in the book, but to no avail. Even as Dooku parried and dodged the creature’s large head, it was obvious they could not maintain this dance any longer.

They would not be able to kill this thing.

“Professors!” Obi-Wan called and Qui-Gon’s and the Zillo Beast’s attention was briefly diverted to three fifth years that came bounding up the steps all dressed in pajamas. Neither had the time to be relieved to see any of them, because their dance with the beast only continued, which shook the structure of the astronomy tower so much that Qui-Gon was certain it would collapse.

“Beneath the armor, we can beat it.” Dooku said with a firm grip of his wand. 

Anakin, plagued by a guilt that Qui-Gon couldn’t understand, as well as more gumption than he’d seen in grown warriors, leapt from the balcony and onto the back of the Zillo Beast. While the small boy didn’t weigh it down in the slightest, it still shook its head relentlessly to try and fling him off. However, Anakin stabbed his wand deep somewhere and the beast raged on with a scream that nearly deafened all of them.

Obi-Wan and Satine were helping him to his feet before he could have the presence of mind to do so. He was far too busy collecting his thoughts on just how they might escape this night alive rather than tucked six feet under. By the way Dooku’s dark eyes lit up at Anakin’s brashness, he’d drawn the same conclusion.

Qui-Gon stopped Obi-Wan from rushing to the railing to ensure Anakin’s safety. He understood the need to do that, because Qui-Gon was fighting every instinct within him too. “I’m glad you lot are here, because we’re going to need all the power we can get.”

Obi-Wan nodded numbly, all too good at tucking away his emotions in the blink of an eye. Cody and Satine, on the other hand, appeared much more distraught, yet both had their wands at the ready. Even Cody, who given his lack of clothing, wouldn’t have had anywhere to put it. 

“Lift the skin, Anakin!” Dooku called.

“What?”

“Lift the rough scales!” He repeated, voice much louder and clearer than Qui-Gon’s could ever hope to be.

“Oh! I’ll try sir, whoa!” He almost slipped and Qui-Gon could sense Obi-Wan’s flinch from beside him. Truthfully, his own heart was in his throat, but he’d never let that show.

After a few more crucial seconds of being tossed around and trying to get his hold on the beast’s scales, Anakin finally leaned back and pulled, leaving just enough of a crevice for a shot to sneak through. Whose it would be, was unknown.

“STUPEFY!” Qui-Gon led the onslaught of attacks and given the vast range of motion exhibited by the scorned Zillo Beast, most of their shots missed horribly, but he felt himself curse everytime they got closer. Dooku was the best shot and didn’t need to say the spell to expel his point. He waved his wand elegantly and efficiently with a swift flick of the wrist. To Qui-Gon’s left, the students were much less practiced than his esteemed mentor, but quicker due to their outstanding youth and resilience. Obi-Wan, in particular, was the crackshot and managed to land the piercing shot. The Zillo Beast wavered, eyes fighting the spell before its head came crashing down against the stone and launched all of them a meter or two in the air. 

Unfortunately, one of Cody’s shots got Anakin when the beast unexpectedly stilled, causing him to instantly roll backwards and towards the ground below them. Qui-Gon was quick enough to catch him midair before the children could so much as scream in response, keeping his wand outstretched while Dooku inspected and made sure the Zillo Beast was incapacitated. 

“Keep stupefying it.” He said.

“Yes, sir.” Dooku said with the barest hints of a smile hiding behind his white beard. It was the most he or anyone would ever get from the consistently serious man. Qui-Gon learned to take what he could get.

Obi-Wan rushed forward to meet Anakin’s floating unconscious body and reached out to pull him onto the broken ground. His head fell into his lap and revealed that aside from catching the backend of a spell, he was virtually unscathed.

“It’ll be almost like a terrible dream.” Qui-Gon assured him, “Though I’m pleased to see you’ve taken to caring for the boy.”

“Well, I’d hate to see what kind of grade I’d receive as a mentor if he was swallowed whole by an ancient beast.” He teased, though the twinkle in his eyes confirmed what Qui-Gon had suspected. Yes, a bond had been established between the two of them. 

“Not as worse of a grade as you would if you dare to wear those to class.” Qui-Gon said in reference to Obi-Wan’s pajamas, “What are you wearing, son?”

The boy’s jaw dropped and Cody tilted his head back in a laughter that shattered any remaining tension from the room. 

“Professor Palpatine is coming to.” Satine reported as she knelt beside Obi-Wan to take her own look at Anakin, the hints of a teasing smile clung to her lips when she met Obi-Wan’s flustered gaze. She said nothing on the matter and evidently did not need to. Qui-Gon suspected she might have already brought Obi-Wan’s questionable fashion choice to his attention. “Though he should probably see medical. That is… If medical is still standing?”

“Quite the question, Ms. Kryze.” Qui-Gon smiled, “I’m sure Madame Nema is proficient enough to tack on band aids without a facility.”

“Sorry I zapped your kid, Kenobi.” Cody said sheepishly. “Though honestly, this is the most peaceful I’ve ever seen him.”

They chuckled at that and Qui-Gon leaned down to scoop Anakin up, ready to carry him back to the common rooms that were hopefully still intact. Otherwise, a nice cot would have to suffice for the boy. 

“We would not have survived this night without him.” He said thoughtfully, “It took true bravery to do what he did.”

“That may be so, Professor, but why did he need to do it at all is the true question.” Obi-Wan said, “Why did this happen?”

Qui-Gon shared a look with Dooku, who was repeatedly stupefying the Zillo Beast with caution and reverence. It was difficult not to admire a relic of another time, especially when there was so much they could learn from it. The bitterness in Dooku’s eyes reflected more on the destruction or possible loss of life that occurred at its hand, of course, but Qui-Gon could only think of what this all meant in the long run.

He was relieved they all got to walk away, but it pondered several queries on Obi-Wan’s very question. While Qui-Gon didn’t know that this, in particular, would happen, it seemed inevitable in hindsight that something of this nature would. And all of it seemed to surround the boy that slept in his arms. 

Cody helped a limping Professor Palpatine down the stairs. The older man turned to him wryly.

“Perhaps, you are right about that boy there, Professor Jinn. He is no doubt special.”

That was what Qui-Gon was afraid of.

[dreamonminecraft]

oh yes, tell me more about this beautiful lesbian slowburn. I’m a sucker for a good love story

Okay so to start off, My sexuality fluctuates greatly throughout this story, but as of now I identify as a Bisexual lithsexual lesbian, which means that I am attracted to lots of people but lose attraction when the feelings are reciprocated, and I'll only date girls.

The story starts off August of 2018. I was starting 6th grade (middle school) and didn't really have any friends aside from a few people that I had last talked to in 3rd grade.

It's important to know that I'm a GT kid and so I almost always have the same group of about 20 kids. This started when I changed to an all GT class for 4th grade.

While it's nice to have a comfortable learning environment, it also means that there's no escape from any drama, and you get to pick friends from the very small pool of kids that you'll spend the rest of your education with.

This is a pretty long story as well and I'm not sure I'll be able to accurately retell many of the things because dates get mixed up and stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna try my best to explain but these are really only the things from my point of view and I don't remember a lot of the things. (This is also gonna be written like a fanfic because that's all I know how to write, I apologise)

So start of sixth grade, I don't really have any friends, I'm kind of this awkward nerd, there's 2 people in my class (we switch classes like normal middle school, but I'm with the GT kids for most of the day so that's what I'll refer to them as) that I've known for years, a few I've met before, but mostly new people.

I sit by some old friends from volleyball at lunch for the first few days but begin to feel unwelcome. One day I decide to sit by these two people that I know are in GT but haven't talked to before. I don't say anything, but I sit and they don't mind.

The next day we get new seats in English. I'm behind a boy named Owen, Inara, who is one of the girls I sat with at lunch, is to my right, and in front of her is a girl named Emilyse.

Inara and I hit it off immediately.

It's kind of crazy because we're both crazy anxious introverts, but we gel nicely. I'm a boyband-obsessed 11 year old and she's a mature and mysterious 11 year old.

She's a lefty. I'm a righty. The way we've been placed makes us bump arms everytime we try to write anything.

We have every class together. Somehow, we sit next to each other in every class as well, even in the ones where we didn't pick our seating chart.

It's September. I cry over boybands. She watches curiously.

For the next couple of months we casually talk. She spends every lunch period in the library. We text occasionally.

I have another friend who takes priority. His name is Logan. We got introduced by his friend Lennox when she asked for my phone number to give to him.

Lennox and I don't talk. Logan and I text nonstop for months. We discuss possibly dating in the future. I identify as bisexual and biromantic at this point.

I've been in this position before. Having mainly guy friends growing up puts me in a lot of awkward friendship/relationship situations. They always end the same.

I have an issue with dating in middle school. You're not dating if you don't go on dates, hold hands, kiss, or cuddle. But you can feel like you are.

In December Logan starts being mean. We start a game where we step on each other's shoes at lunch or in the hallway. It's fun.

Eventually, he recruits his friends to do it to me, too. It's a joke a first, but eventually there are 10 middle school boys chasing me and trying to hurt me.

I get kicked in the hallway and fall. Someone steps on my arm and people laugh. Logan watches. I tell Inara and she steps on his shoe for me.

Logan and I stop talking. Inara and I hang out more. By early January, Inara has stopped going to the library at lunch. We hang out with Emilyse in the field instead.

I text Logan one day in mid January and ask why we fell out. He says that I told someone that I was going to punch him in the face.

The person he said I told, only talked to me at the bus stop, and he didn't ride my bus. I had never said it in the first place, but his logic made it even more frustrating.

I tell him I got scared because I had a crush on him and didn't want to make things weird. It was a lie.

In February I came out to someone for the first time. They asked if I was bi and I said yes.

By March I had accepted that coming out didn't really make a difference. Inara and I hung out at school but not really anywhere else.

My birthday's in April. I invite her, Emilyse, and Rebekah. We paint rocks and draw on a table cloth. Emilyse feels distant.

Emilyse is homophobic. We find out in English one day. I don't remember how. Inara and I look at each other. We know we're both queer but haven't come out to each other.

I ask Emilyse if she would hate someone in GT for coming out. She says yes. Inara and I stop talking to her.

By May I've become obsessed with Marvel. Inara's interested in it and I decide to be, too. We talk about the movies. It gets awkward. She's not as interested when I get in on it.

By June we're best friends. We hang out fairly regularly, have all our classes together, and text all the time. Logan is forgotten.

School lets out at the start of June. We keep texting regularly. We make plans to see the new spiderman movie in early July with one of our other friends.

I have a complicated relationship with said friend. They're non-binary, although I didn't know it yet, and I've known them since Kindergarten. Inara met them in an advisory this year. I get jealous easily.

The day of the movie I shop at Kohl's. I buy the two of us matching shirts. We meet at the movie theater and it's awkward. I pay for popcorn and sneak in snacks that we share. Our friend's dad is there, but Inara and I don't have parents present.

We sit next to each other during the movie. At a certain scene, I start to get anxious. My stomach hurts and I can't breathe, I start to get sweaty.

I get up and rush out of the theater. I get to the women's bathroom and sit down on the floor of the very last stall. I'm panicing, dry heaving into the toilet, and trying not to cry. I try to text my mom that I'm having a panic attack but don't have reception.

I go back into the theater room after a few minutes. I'm still anxious, but better. Our friend is highly concerned, Inara just glances at me worriedly.

It's my first panic attack, and it sucked.

We leave awkwardly after it ends, trying to avoid the obvious elephant in the room. My mom is concerned when she picks me up. We don't talk about it. My dad and brother are watching it illegally when I get home.

We don't see each other until August of 2019, but continue to text through the rest of the summer.

When 7th grade starts, I'm still into Marvel. I've seen all the movies at this point, but there haven't been any new ones (even now) since FFH. Inara's interested, but not fully.

In late August/Early September we take BuzzFeed quizzes for fun and text each other the results. I take one about soulmates. I get her initials. I send her the link. She gets mine.

We take more and they all point to us being soulmates. We propose by sending pictures of rings over text. The wedding date is set for September 28th, 2019.

The time comes. It's Saturday and my brother has a double football game. We've planned to pick her up and take her there. It's a Christian league, so the games are at a church.

We go to the garden. There's a small white bench in some rocks, surrounded by flowers. We joke that we've had our ceremony. We wander around for a while longer.

My dad suggests that we go to the taco bell across the parking lot. We do. When we're done, we walk back to my house. Its not far, but we're alone. I carry her halfway back.

When we get to my house we pick things from my garden. We're barefoot and I'm wearing overalls. I joke that we're gonna get a farm one day when we're older.

She picks things while I stand back and watch. The sun hits her dyed-red hair just right. I vividly remember smiling at thinking "holy fuck she's pretty" you would think I'd put together my crush by then.

October rolls around and she cancels plans to go trick-or-treating with me. I'm upset but understand.

We "work" on a school project at her house. We don't actually get anything done before cuddling up on her bed and falling asleep to black panther.

In November, it's Emilyse's birthday party. We've gotten distant but still talk occasionally. Inara and I both go to the party.

We're watching Spiderman Far From Home because that's what Emilyse wanted. I've seen in twice, Ianra has too.

We're given candy and popcorn and then curl up on the couch. Inara and I sit next to each other.

(I forgot to mention this but at some point she stayed the night at my house. She slept on the floor in her swimming suit even though I asked if she wanted to sleep on the bed. Swimming was fun though. We also go to an arcade. We mini-golf and play laser tag. We also danced in the rain together at some point that day.)

Once we're no more than 15 minutes into the movie, I'm cuddled into her chest. It's important to mention that at this point I'm 5'6 and she's no more than 5'0.

We cuddle the entire movie. We share candy and pretend no one else is there. It feels great.

We don't talk about that night for months. Nobody brings it up. I come out to Rebekah around this time, saying no more than that I like girls. I still haven't told Inara.

By December, I've brought her to church a few times. I don't enjoy going to church, but my parents always encouraged it.

(I'd like to say at this point as well that I have been raised Christian and identify with the faith despite the fact that I despise Church and disagree with many of the common teachings. If I ever had to choose for some reason, my sexuality matters more to me than my religion. Regardless, I respect your beliefs if they differ from mine :) )

Inara's birthday is in mid December. Her party consists of us making gay jokes with our enby friend despite not being technically out to each other.

My church youth group plans ice skating. I invite her and she accepts. I'm worried about it. It's essentially a date. Neither of our parents will be there.

We carpool with the youth leaders, who are actually pretty cute for a hetero couple. Inara and I share awkward glances the whole time.

When we get there I learn that Inara took ice skating lessons as a child. She's much more confident than I am, but pretends she doesn't know what she's doing. I skate about once or twice a season, but also rollerblade.

There's a wet, sloped, melty part of the rink. I get nervous and grab her hand. She holds it until we're out of the melted ice.

Every lap around I grab her hand at that point. Eventually, we just keep holding hands for an entire lap.

By the end of the night, we've both fallen a few times but held hands the whole time. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

That night, I rant about the adventure to one of my (ex)friends, who excitedly listens to my talk about holding hands with a girl.

There's a GT Christmas party at Hannah's. Inara and I carpool there. It's an all together boring party with the exception of a few interesting truth-or-dare questions.

(side note, remember Owen? Well he's one of Inara and I's best friends and we were actually close enough that the three of us were basically cuddling on the couch during part of the party. Also the whole class knows about Inara and I's wedding and calls us wives.)

Paislie asks me if I wanted to "marry" Inara before we got "married". I mumble an answer that nobody hears. I don't repeat it. When it's time to leave, Inara and I have our legs intertwined on the couch. We don't mention that, either. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

January is good. There's a night, the 4th I believe, that we really connect. We officially come out to each other for the first time on that night, and it gets really real, really fast.

She says she's pan, I say I'm bi but confused.

In mid January she texts me that she's crying because one of her favorite YouTubers finally hit a million. She cries for hours but never tells me who. I pay it no mind.

A few days later, she mentions a YouTube channel called Unus Annus and tells me that it's super interesting. I text back but don't look it up.

A few more days pass and I'm randomly on the trending page for YouTube, which I never do. I see a video trending called "Mark and Ethan go casket shopping". The thumbnail is interesting enough that I check what the channel is. I notice it's the one Inara told me about.

I watch the video and subscribe within 5 minutes. I text Inara quotes from that video, Ethan Finally Becomes a Man, and the Lie Detector test videos, until she responds and is surprised that I found the channel.

I obsess quickly and depend on her to know the new video at 1pm everyday. She gets annoyed and we drift apart slowly.

In February things get rocky. We fight often. If I win a small argument she doesn't talk to me for hours. She gets pissed at refuses to tell me what the Unus Annus video is called if I ask too many times.

At some point I get fed up and confront her. I don't remember what about, but we stop talking all together.

Friends pick sides. I'm left alone. We don't talk for a month. She tells me that she pushed me away because she thought I'd react badly to her telling me she loves me.

I confess my crush. She tells me she feels the same.

We finally make up at about 8:30 on a Sunday night in March. It's not fixed but we plan to talk. And 9:00, the school district announces that it's shutting down until least after spring break.

We stopped trying to communicate, but eventually, slowly we started talking again. We text a few times a day now, mostly about UA and anxiety, the best combo.

We haven't seen each other since. We're probably going back to school in person in about a month, but I'm not sure. Nobody is.

I've called her my girlfriend on here before, simply because I don't know what we are. I joked the other day about how the youth leaders would react if I said I was texting my girlfriend.

Here's how that went:

So we're just jokingly married for now! It's a confusing pile of garbage but we both came out as lesbians the other day so that's a new development.

I don't know if any of that makes sense but I'll answer any questions anybody has :)

[rosedavid]

Summer-Salt

word count: 4,657

summary: the past comes back to haunt TJ and Cyrus when Andi announces her big Halloween bash she’s planning. 

tag list: @youve-cath-to-be-kitten-me

Happy Halloween everyone!! I hope you all enjoy this one-shot that’s been a long time coming :) Also this is unedited, so I apologize!

                                                             ...

“What did Andi’s text say again?” TJ questions as he gets tugged along the sidewalk by a persistent, fast-paced Cyrus.

“She just said something like, ‘Meet at The Spoon ASAP! It’s of the upmost importance!’” Cyrus replies, doing a terrible impression of her voice.

“First of all, I don’t think Andi says things like ‘of the upmost importance’! You’re the only one who uses words as fancy as that. Second, she definitely does not sound like that.”

Cyrus rolls his eyes, purposefully knocking his shoulder against TJ’s shoulder as they continue walking. TJ chuckles in response to his boyfriend’s antics, bumping his shoulder back. Meanwhile, Cyrus sticks his chin out defiantly before retaliating to TJ’s comments.

“I don’t use fancy words,” he debates, “I just prefer proper grammar when conversing with someone. Also, my accents and imitations are spot on, thank you very much.”

“Conversing with someone,” TJ snickers. “You’re adorable.”

Cyrus sputters, face reddening. “Is that all you got out of what I just said?!”

“Sorry, Underdog, I can’t help it. Honestly though, that impression was…not great. I would not have guessed Andi if I didn’t know who texted.”

“Who would you have guessed?”

“Uh…Jonah, maybe?”

Cyrus pretends to look offended, but he can’t keep his composure for long before descending into giggles. TJ smiles and laughs along with him, unable to resist the fluttery feeling that flows through him as a result of their bantering. When they officially announced their feelings for each other on the bench at Andi’s party a few months ago, TJ was terrified that things would change significantly between them. He worried that, like some of the stories you hear about, they were potentially ruining their friendship. His fears only intensified after their first, extremely awkward date. Thankfully, the initial awkwardness and tension between them faded rapidly after they both stopped placing so much pressure on themselves, and they quickly fell back into their normal routine with each other (except this time with their feelings toward each other known and reciprocated).

Now, TJ feels more at ease than ever. The conflict that was previously raging inside of him has simmered down, allowing him to be more comfortable in his skin than ever. And he knows that without Cyrus here, he would probably still be the Scary-Basketball-Guy that Cyrus first knew him as. Many times, TJ finds himself pondering what his life would be like if he never interacted with Cyrus. Although there’s no real way to know, TJ thinks that there’s no way he would have progressed this far. On days like those, TJ looks over at Cyrus to confirm that it’s all real; that everything that happened in the past months between them wasn’t just a sick, twisted dream.

“Come on, dork, we’re already running late!” Cyrus laughs, yanking on his hand with an even stronger grasp.

“If anything, you’re the dork with your big words,” TJ replies.

“Says Mr. I Know Every Line in Hamilton.”

“Of course I do! That play is more than just a play: It’s an experience!”

They stumble through the door of The Spoon a few seconds later, still calming down from their giggling. Immediately, they spot the group in their usual corner booth (the only booth in the entire diner big enough to fit their vastly expanding friend group). However, they also quickly notice that the group is lacking one key person. They make their way over to the others, hands still linked. Once they get over there, they take a seat beside Jonah, with Buffy and Marty sitting across from them.

“There are the lovebirds!” Buffy teases, something she says almost every time she sees the duo together now. Despite the frequency, TJ knows that both of them still blush slightly whenever she says it.

“Yeah, sorry we’re late. We were in the middle of a movie which turned into an impromptu nap,” Cyrus apologizes.

TJ adds on, “You mean your nap. I was still awake the whole time acting as your pillow!”

“Why are you so tired, man?” Marty asks Cyrus.

“Ugh, well it all started with our math teacher assigning a ridiculous amount of homework...” Cyrus begins, delving into the long story he told TJ just this morning over text. TJ couldn’t understand how he typed it out so fast, either, but he had a feeling that Cyrus had just loaded up on coffee, causing the crash he witnessed just a little bit ago.

As Cyrus recounts his story, TJ zones out a bit. Instead, he focuses on the way Cyrus’s eyes light up avidly, hands swishing around and almost hitting TJ in the face a few times. His exuberance is contagious, as TJ finds himself unable to prevent the beam from spreading across his face alongside the others.

“That sucks,” Jonah comments once the story is over. “I hope you can actually get some sleep soon.”

“Me too,” Cyrus sighs, slumping over in his seat. “When I get home, I’m going to take another nap I think.”

“That sounds great if Andi would ever get here,” Buffy frowns, checking the time on her phone again. “She texted nearly half an hour ago saying it was so urgent, yet she isn’t even here yet!”

“What do you think the text was about, anyway?” Jonah wonders, to which everyone at the table shrugs.

Before they can continue on their conversation, Andi finally arrives. She bursts through the door, nearly tripping and falling before a certain blonde waitress steadies her. In Andi’s arms is a gigantic container teeming with what appears to be random objects. TJ is amazed that everything managed to stay inside the container despite her stumble. With Amber in tow, the two of them come up to the booth. Amber stands off to Andi’s side warily as she carries the teetering container. Finally, Andi drops it down onto the floor with an echoing thud. She huffs, wiping her hands of on her jeans before offering everyone an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, it took me longer than I thought to lug this here,” Andi states, squeezing into the booth beside everyone.

“Amber, thank goodness you’re here--” Cyrus sighs in relief.

Amber smiles at him, “Wow Cyrus, that’s really sweet of you to say!”

“—I need baby taters right now. It’s a matter of life and death itself!”

Amber rolls her eyes, flipping out her notebook and scribbling baby taters down. Cyrus, on the other hand, goes as white as a ghost, suddenly terrified that he offended her. After all, she appears furious.

“I’m sorry, Amber! I am really glad you’re here, even without the baby tater part.”

Amber’s expression morphs from one of anger to one of humor in an instant. She waves it off. “It’s fine, Cyrus. I know. Also, I already started your baby taters right when I saw you come in. I’ll go get them right now”

“You’re amazing.”

Andi clears her throat, calling the attention back to her. “Sorry, but this is really important.”

“I’m still confused,” Jonah admits, peering over the table at the container on the floor. “What exactly is this all for?”

“You’re kidding, right? Don’t you know what day it is?”

“October 3rd,” TJ offers, descending into snickers with Cyrus and the others.

“No, seriously. Do none of you remember?” Andi asks with disbelief, looking over all the individual members of the table.

“Uh…is it someone’s birthday?” Jonah asks, stilling. “Wait, is it my birthday?!”

A frustrated sigh escapes Andi’s lips. “No, Jonah, your birthday was a few months ago. Guys, it’s officially one week before Halloween!”

TJ frowns, having completely forgotten about the holiday coming up so soon. He supposes that he’s just been so preoccupied with his first year of high school as well as his relationship with Cyrus that he just forgot. Not to mention, he’s been swamped with homework recently to prepare for midterms, so all he’s had on his mind have been math formulas and history dates. Basketball has also been taxing this year; finding his spot on the team with new dynamics has been difficult. As he glances over at Cyrus, he looks just as shocked to remember about Halloween. TJ knows for a fact that Cyrus has been working nonstop recently for all his honors classes he’s been taking this semester.

“Oh,” Buffy states, summing up pretty much what all of them are currently thinking.

“Oh? Just…oh?! You all forgot about Halloween, one of the best holidays of the year!” Andi groans, throwing her hands up in frustration.

“We didn’t forget…we just temporarily spaced it out. After all, Grant Highschool isn’t as decorative and festive as Sava. I think the few spiderwebs they put up at the beginning of the month were torn down within a few days.”

“It looks like we have more work to do than I thought.”

At that moment, Amber returns with the baby taters. Cyrus immediately starts inhaling them, smacking TJ’s hand away when he tries to steal one. Amber then declares she’s on her break before pulling up an extra chair to the end of the booth right beside Andi’s massive container full of miscellaneous objects.

“Work for what?” Amber asks, trying to figure out what she missed.

“The greatest Halloween party ever,” Andi finally announces dramatically.

Cyrus rubs his hands together in excitement. “Another famous Andi Mack party!”

“But this one has to be better than all the last ones,” Andi replies. “It’s even higher stakes now than before. That’s why I’m enlisting all of your help to make sure that it’s going to be an awesome party.”

“What do we need to help with?” Buffy asks.

Andi smirks, reaching down to grab a huge list out of the container full of party ideas. She places it on the table in front of them so they can all read it. Then, she flicks out her duct tape pen, poised to write some more.

“This sounds…amazing!” Cyrus gapes, reading over the list. “Are you sure you need our help? I think this is perfect already.”

“I just need a few things from you all,” Andi begins, “First, Jonah and TJ, I need you two working on putting together a Halloween playlist. I need Amber’s help with setting all the decorations up because Bex and I will never get it done on our own. I also need Buffy and Cyrus to pick up a bunch of stuff at the store for me before the party. Also, bring Marty to get some decent snacks, because I know the two of you would just pick a bunch of gross health foods. But, most importantly, we have to have the best Halloween costumes!”

“Well, what are you going to be?” Buffy wonders, hoping for some inspiration.

Andi shakes her head and mimics a zipper along her lips. “It’s a surprise! But just know it’s going to be amazing! So, I need you all to dress up, too.”

Jonah raises his hand, “Can my costume be Boy Who Plays Guitar?”

“Ugh, yeah, that’s fine,” Andi sighs, knowing she shouldn’t force him to get involved in a more intricate costume. “But I expect great things from everyone else!”

“Don’t worry, I already have the best idea for a couple’s costume for Marty and I,” Buffy gushes.

Marty frowns, nudging her side, “But what if I already had a great idea.”

Buffy looks at him, unimpressed. “Let’s hear it then.”

“I was thinking we could each be a shoe! You be the right, I’ll be the left. We’re a pair, get it?”

Everyone looks at him, unamused, besides for Jonah who laughs at almost everything. Buffy shakes her head in disappointment.

“I was thinking more along the lines of a childhood TV show throwback, like Velma and Shaggy,” Buffy offers.

“You watched Scooby Doo?” TJ asks incredulously, causing Buffy to cross her arms at him.

“You say that as if you don’t still watch it,” Buffy retorts which TJ chuckles at, hands raised up in surrender.

“I’ll go as Princess Peach,” Amber declares, smiling at Andi softly. “After all, I have to look my best for the coolest party in town.”

Andi coughs abruptly, cheeks turning red as she looks over to the remaining two people. “TJ? Cyrus? Can I count on you two?”

TJ glances over at Cyrus, but finds that the other boy is staring down at his lap instead. Since Buffy and Marty are doing a couple’s costume, he assumes that him and Cyrus will do one, too. After all, they’re officially a couple now, as in they’re out at school and to their parents. Plus, matching costumes on Halloween are the pinnacle for couples; it’s usually just expected that you’ll match if you’re dating. So, TJ goes to answer Andi, saying that he and Cyrus will think of a creative couple’s costume.

Before he can respond, though, Cyrus blurts out, “I think my step-dad has an old jumpsuit that I could turn into a ghostbusters costume.”

Across the table, Buffy meets TJ’s eyes, surprise evident in her expression. TJ is also surprised. Why doesn’t Cyrus want to do a costume with him? He frowns, reaching for Cyrus’s hand again but finds that Cyrus moved them both into his pockets. In fact, not only Buffy seems surprised by Cyrus’s decision, but no one comments on it. Andi simply offers him a smile before looking over at TJ.

“What about you, TJ?” she asks.

TJ bites his lip and shrugs. He spares one last glance at Cyrus, who is pointedly looking anywhere but at him. “I’ll figure something cool out, I’m sure.”

The rest of the time talking about the party goes by painstakingly slow for TJ. Cyrus seems to liven back up and get into the conversation, but he still casts his eyes away when TJ looks at him. TJ hates the tension between them at the moment. Although they’re squished up against each other’s sides, TJ still feels like he’s miles away from Cyrus. Normally, TJ and Cyrus have this connection, this spark between them, but right now it’s fizzled out. TJ can’t decipher Cyrus’s emotions as he covers them up behind robotic laughter and half-smiles. Normally, Cyrus is expressive and easy to read; however, TJ just can’t figure out what’s going through his head in that moment. Is he mad at TJ for assuming that they’d do a couple’s costume? Why would he be mad about that, though, since they are a couple?

Finally, after forever, the group goes to dismantle for the day and do their respective tasks. Cyrus slides out of the booth, getting ready to walk home with Jonah, but TJ catches his wrist before he leaves.

“Can we talk for a second?” TJ questions.

Cyrus purses his lips before nodding, sitting back down at the booth as Jonah follows the others to wait outside for him. Now, it’s just the two of them alone together. Based on Cyrus’s lack of chattiness, TJ has a feeling that Cyrus knows why he stopped him.

“Why don’t you want to do a couple’s costume with me? I mean, we are a couple, right? Or do you not want to be—”

“Of course we’re a couple, Teej,” Cyrus promises, grasping his hand resting on his lap with a comforting squeeze.

TJ smiles, feeling at least a bit more relieved but also more confused. “I-I don’t understand, then. I just figured since Buffy and Marty are doing a couple’s costume that, y’know, we would do one, too.”

The smile drops off Cyrus’s face as he lets out a deep sigh. He rubs the back of his neck with a ducked head as he tries to think of what to say. TJ begins to run through all the possible reasons Cyrus is acting this way. The shaking leg, uncomfortable gait, inability to explain himself, the dejected look on his face…

“I’m sorry, just after Costume Day—” Cyrus stammers, voice shaking. “I just can’t.”

TJ’s heart drops in his chest. “Cy, I would never do that again, I swear. I’m sorry.”

“I-I know, really, but I still can’t get over that feeling I had on Costume Day. And then before with Jonah…I don’t know how to explain it, but I just can’t match with you. I’m sorry.”

Then, Cyrus stands up abruptly, barely even flinching as his knee hits the edge of the table. He checks the time on his phone, then looks out the window at where Jonah is still waiting. TJ stands up beside him, not wanting to leave things like this.

“I understand,” TJ finally whispers, staring at his shoes.

Cyrus smiles wearily, although the usual twinkle present in his eyes has vanished. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

Cyrus offers another quick hand squeeze before jogging out the door to catch up with Jonah. Meanwhile, TJ is left there frozen, still contemplating everything that just occurred.

TJ knew that he hurt Cyrus, and he still feels guilty about it every day, but he never knew that his actions had that huge of an impact on Cyrus. Thinking about it now, it seems stupid that TJ didn’t think about it before. At first, TJ got upset with the idea that Cyrus thought he would bail again. After all, things are so different, now, and Cyrus knows that. But then, as TJ thinks about it more and more, he begins to understand. That look of dejection Cyrus had earlier, it matched the look on Costume Day. Cyrus trusted him, and he betrayed his trust. But how can TJ even begin to think of winning it back? TJ knows for certain that he can’t just forget about this or it may forever be a hole in their relationship that grows wider and wider each day. He just worries that there’s nothing he can ever do to fix this. After all, he’s already apologized numerous times. What else could he possibly do?

Lunch at school during the next week is more awkward than normal. Although he and Cyrus still act like a couple, holding hands and kissing each other’s cheeks, TJ can’t get over that subtle feeling of tautness between them. It’s like their relationship is a stretched rubber band about to snap. TJ can tell Cyrus feels it, too. In fact, Cyrus has been acting a bit off all the time since the day at The Spoon. He’s been a bit less talkative, although to most people it would seem like nothing is wrong. Andi isn’t really around enough because of SAVA to notice the tiny differences, while Jonah and Marty aren’t clued into Cyrus’s coping strategies. Buffy seems to be the only one scrutinizing Cyrus when he’s not looking. Every late laugh and quiet spell sends Buffy looking at him strangely. She begins to piece it together rather quick, as she notices TJ’s awkward looks on more than one occasion.

Soon, it’s the day before Halloween, and TJ is feeling more down in the dumps than ever. After school that day, he finds himself in one of the places that relieves his stress the most: the basketball courts. He would normally go to the swings, but he doesn’t want to have to face Cyrus there before he can think of some way to make up for everything. Frustration leaks out of him as he shoots the basketball at the hoop with exceeding aggressiveness. He’s not mad at Cyrus at all but rather himself. If he wasn’t such a coward that day, maybe things would be different. Kira coming into the equation just threatened to ruin everything between them, and they’re obviously still reaping the repercussions of her manipulation today. He grunts as he heaves the ball at the hoop as hard as he can, not even caring as it bounces off the backboard and skitters along the pavement. His heartbeat thrums in his ears, and he crouches down to try and calm himself. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, hand running through his sweaty hair.

“TJ?” A familiar voice asks. “Are you okay?”

TJ opens his eyes to see Buffy standing over him with a mild look of concern on her face. His first instinct is to snap back with the classic “I’m fine” method. That definitely worked for him before. He could also pretend like nothing was wrong, going back to playing basketball like normal, but Buffy would see right through that. Then, he thinks about how much he’s changed in just the past couple of months. Blocking things out or covering them up is a common tactic that the old TJ used, but he’s better than that now.

“I don’t know,” TJ admits timidly, dropping from his crouch until he’s completely sitting on the pavement. Buffy hesitates for a moment before sitting down beside him.

“You can talk to me, you know. I know we’re not super close, but you’ve grown on me, Kippen.”

TJ cracks a smile. “Thanks, but I don’t think anyone can help me with this one.”

“Try me.”

Not wanting to go into too much detail, TJ says vaguely, “I apologized to Cyrus for something, and even though he says it’s okay, it’s obviously not. I just don’t know what to do.”

Although there’s hardly any context behind any of it, Buffy appears as if she knows quite a bit more about the situation than she’s letting on. Still, she doesn’t press TJ for more information or even badger him for what he did to Cyrus.

“Apologies are hard, sometimes,” she admits. “I definitely struggle with them a lot of times. But…I’ve found it’s not really the actual words that count, it’s your actions.”

“Your actions…” TJ trails off, a lightbulb suddenly going off in his head. “Actions speak louder than words. That actually helped a lot Buffy, thank you.”

Buffy smiles, “Anytime, TJ. But also, do we have to keep calling each other by our first names? I have to admit, it’s kind of weird.”

“Agreed.”

With a determined look on her face, Buffy jumps up from the ground. She goes over to retrieve the abused basketball from the grass and tucks it under her arm. Then, she walks back over to TJ and offers a hand down to him. “So, Kippen, care for me to beat you at a game of one-on-one?”

TJ chuckles, taking it and letting her haul him to his feet. “In your dreams, Driscoll!”

As he plays, he feels lighter than before. He knows what he needs to do.

…

The next night, TJ arrives at the party just as it’s getting into full swing. It certainly seems to be a hit so far, with what seems like almost all of the students at Grant Highschool coming out to enjoy her party. Even from the outside, the house is decorated head to toe for Halloween, with crafty, spun spiderwebs hung from every corner and giant spiders creeping along them. Strands of Halloween lights illuminate the front yard in an eerie green color, while smoke from what TJ assumes are smoke machines leak out from the door and window cracks inside.

At the last second before stepping into the party, TJ rethinks his entire plan. What if Cyrus still doesn’t forgive him after this? What if Cyrus can never trust him the same way again? TJ doesn’t know if he could stand that. This needs to work. He needs to make this right. As Buffy made him realize, actions speak louder than words, and this is definitely making a statement. With a deep breath, he enters the house.

Inside is even more crazy and spooky. Almost everyone is dressed up in amazing Halloween costumes. Music blasts over the speakers which everyone dances with in excitement. Paper Mache ghosts and ghouls hang from the ceiling, lit up by colorful lights. Carved pumpkins line one wall, and there’s a place to bob for apples. Marty and Buffy are already over there competing, dressed up in their Shaggy and Velma costumes like they planned, although Buffy seems to be getting annoyed by her plastic glasses as she keeps having to push them up her nose. A huge table is lined with spooky punch and a gaggle of monstrous snacks. He has a feeling that Cyrus had a lot to do with some of the baked goods, as he knows how seriously Cyrus takes good presentation.

“TJ?” Andi speaks from behind him, voice just barely audible over the noise of the party. He turns, taking in her costume. She’s dressed as Mulan, and it’s obvious that her costume is hand made because it’s much more beautiful and realistic than any costume. She has a variety of fancy clips in her hair, along with a fake sword tucked into her belt. Amber stands beside her in her Princess Peach outfit, complete with the huge poufy dress and everything.

“Andi,” he breathes, “Great costume! You too, Amber.”

She looks him over with a knowing smirk. “Cyrus is in the backyard.”

TJ blushes, trying to come up with a good response but can’t think of anything. Amber and Andi giggle together before heading the opposite direction, patting him on the shoulders as they go. TJ figures that it’s now or never.

He heads outside where only a few people linger, one of them being Cyrus. He’s sulking in his costume on the very bench they sat at just a few months prior, except the fire is extinguished and replaced with giant pumpkins. TJ pads up behind him.

“You’re missing the party,” TJ states nervously.

Cyrus turns his head, and his eyes widen a comical amount as he takes in the familiar look TJ is sporting. TJ’s wearing the very Salt costume that Cyrus was wearing on Costume Day, colander and all. He looks and feels ridiculous, but he’d wear it for the next week if it meant Cyrus would forgive him.

“You…” Cyrus stutters, still in shock.

“I know that I really hurt you on Costume Day, and I know I needed to make it right somehow. Then, Buffy kind of told me how actions speak louder than words, and I hoped that maybe this would speak for itself?”

Cyrus stands, and a flash of fear courses through TJ as he worries that Cyrus will simply leave again. However, he actually does the exact opposite, and takes a step closer to TJ. They’re so close that they can see each other’s breaths in the cold air. Cyrus reaches up to adjust the colander on TJ’s head so it’s not tipping to one side. TJ quirks his lips up at Cyrus, relief washing over him.

“I can’t believe you did this for me,” Cyrus whispers.

“I’d do it again,” TJ promises. “And again. And again. I just needed you to know how much you really mean to me and how truly sorry I am.”

Dark eyes peer up at him, barely visible past his metal hat. “How could I not forgive anyone who’s willing to wear a colander on his head for me?”

TJ shares a grin with Cyrus. They find themselves inching closer to each other until finally Cyrus brushes his lips against TJ’s own in a soft, loving kiss. TJ relaxes at Cyrus’s touch, and things feel right again between them.

“I’m pretty sure Andi has some kind of cheesy beach shirt here,” Cyrus mentions breathlessly when they separate.

It takes TJ a second before it clicks. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to.”

Cyrus strokes TJ’s cheek with his thumb. “I want to match with you.”

And when Cyrus descends from upstairs wearing a pair of too small flipflops, a oversized beach hat, basketball shorts, and a completely unmatching Hawaiian-themed shirt, TJ can’t hold back his grin. This is how it should’ve been all along, and TJ hates that it took him so long to make up for it. At least now he can say that Summer-Salt is still their thing.

[never-not-ever]

mini update

Where do I even begin? How far back do I even go🤔 

(I started typing up paragraphs and then realized it was way too fucking long so here’s the short version aka bullets..)

After last Summer’s residential/inpatient fiasco I returned to work in September as full time. A few weeks later I started the process to get weight loss surgery. I’ve been overweight my whole life. I have tried many different things, many different times and it never works. There’s a lot of stigma around weight loss surgery and I’ve actually never mentioned it on here before because of it so please be kind. I’ve tried twice before to get it but each time I got denied cause of my psychiatric history. This time however I went to a different hospital and although I was totally honest (including the hospitalization this past Summer) they still approved me for surgery. I was shocked and in disbelief and saw this as my one and only shot at losing weight for good and couldn't let anything get in the way of this opportunity. 

But in October I started self harming again and got depressed. I only managed to stop/try to get better so that I wouldn’t jeopardize my surgery. I literally told myself back then “fake it til you get the surgery, stop self harming, get to January and then once you get your surgery you can go back to doing whatever you want”. 

But the fake happiness and recovery turned real. I actually started to feel better around the holidays. 

I started sign language class on January 9th and the week after I got the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy on January 14th.

I was supposed to only be out for 3 weeks but it almost became 4 because I got calcific tendonitis in my shoulder and couldn't move it. 

So I stopped my sign language class because at the time I couldn't even raise my right hand to sign and that’s my dominant hand. It was shitty excuse though, I probably could have just attended and learned and used my other hand. I feel even more guilty now cause a week after I stopped class I got more movement back in my arm after getting a cortisone shot. 

After 2 weeks of being out of work I noticed old habits forming again. Not wanting to leave my room and just wanting to sleep more. Then one day the hospital was on my mind a lot. When I actually had to go to the hospital for my shoulder it was at MGH and I’ve been to that ER countless times before for psych reasons. So slowly but surely I started to get triggered. All my relapses always remind me of the quote “gradually then suddenly, that’s how depression hits”. It was gradual at first and then overnight things got drastically worse. 

I finally went back to work on February 8th and the week I returned to work I started to notice my mood dropping and urges coming back. 

A week later I self harmed for the first time since October. It’s been 3 weeks now and it’s been nonstop ever since. It’s never been this bad before and it’s gotten so much worse from what used to be considered “really bad” for me. 

I still go to my DBT group twice a week and see my therapist once a week. It’s been over a week now since the suicidal urges have started up again. Yes my therapist knows. I have to fill out a weekly diary card and I’ve always been completely honest with her. 

This whole relapse didn't start because of this but in June my therapist is graduating (she’s currently a resident, I first had her as a psychiatrist) and she’s moving to a different part of the hospital so unfortunately we have to end things in a few months. The thought of this hadn't even crossed my mind until I started spiraling but now it’s all I can think about. I know this relapse is unrelated because if she were to say to me “hey I can continue to be your therapist but you have to commit to not ever self harming again” I wouldn't be able to agree. It’s gotten so addictive this time around and I’m hellbent on making it the worst it’s ever been and I don’t even care anymore about the scars.

I stopped taking my antidepressant about a week ago and I’m going to ask about going on a different one the next time I see her which is Tuesday and I can’t wait because she was on vacation this week. 

I honest to god feel like the hospital is on the horizon whether I go there willingly (fat chance), get sectioned or after a failed suicide attempt which for the record, as suicidal as I am now I do not have a plan. I really don’t want a repeat of April 2016 where I vaguely posted about being suicidal on here and someone called the cops and they showed up unexpectedly at my house. The only thing keeping me going right now is my therapy appointments and that being said I need to make it to my next appointment so I can guarantee you that I am safe for now. 

I’m really stressed out at work cause I might go back to a store I managed last May/June permanently and that scares the shit out of me because right now where I’m struggling as bad as I am I’m worried that if I have to take another leave of absence it’ll be harder if I’m the actual manager of a store versus floating around not really needed. As a floater I’m an extra set of hands and I’m easily replaceable/not really needed. Technically yes they could find coverage for me if I became the manager of a store and had to leave but I don’t want to go just to have to leave a few weeks later. I’m not planning nor have I ever in the past but I genuinely feel like I’m going to be leaving work very shortly and I’d rather take precaution about it and stay in my current position than be handed more responsibility and be a let down.

Soooooo that brings us full circle and that’s what you missed on Glee!

[nny11writes]

Declarations, Mental Health, and Other Things You Never Asked Me to Explain About Myself but I’m Gonna Anyways

Ok, it's been almost a year since my last update on this and I wanted to explain myself a bit? And also share my story a bit??? 

This is all personal stuff so no need to read if you can’t handle it right now or don’t want to handle it. You’re not obligated to, but I felt it was important to share all this.

Here’s hoping the “Keep Reading” link works!

cw: anxiety, depression, mental health, suicidal ideation, nightmares

SO. Last year I had been working in a hostile working environment under an abusive supervisor for 2 years. One of the things I had done a right before I got that job (and was unemployed, depressed, and heavily suicidal) was I picked up writing fanfiction again. I had been in about a two or three year dry spell where I was writing fanfiction but never posting. Just writing it for me. And then I'd unceremoniously dropped all after posting a Mass Effect fic that had great response/reviews. Because the pressure was too much for me.

I found SW: TCW while unemployed and desperately seeking something to help lift my spirits and distract me from my known but untreated mental health. I wanted VERY desperately to find something enjoyable in life again. I was literally only alive because I was afraid of where my cat would be placed when I died. I kept seeing interesting meta posts from MyLordShesaCactus and AlexKablob about someone called Barriss Offee and someone called Ahsoka Tano. Deciding that I had literally nothing to lose I gave the show a watch.

It was a lifeline. During a time where I regularly had nightmares of being a robot that was torn apart and decommissioned, or dreams where I'd barely nick myself and suddenly start bleeding out, SW TCW became an obsession. I was years too late to the fandom but I still found active people and love for this girl who was a little Too Much and a little Too Pushy and a little Too Scared to Fail. Ahsoka hits all my bingo slots for characters I project heavily onto. And soon enough my nightmares, while still consistent, were no longer a given. Sometimes I dreamed about star wars instead. The first time I had a dream where I WAS Ahsoka Tano I woke up and cried because I'd felt so good.

Then I got hired in what I thought was a life affirming and saving way, and instead was shoved into a different kind of hell. I became so depressed that first year that I self harmed by starving myself and denying myself sleep. Which, of course, makes it worse. I started writing "Twilight" as a way to cope with my increasing intrusive thoughts about suicide and physical self harm. Then it became a way to deal with intrusive thoughts about wanting to harm others. I needed an outlet and was denying that I need medication to manage my mental health.

I didn’t expect anyone to read it and like it. I thought people would hate it. Because it was awful because I’m awful, and therefore nothing I did could be good.

But people did like it. A lot.

Then I was escorted to Psychiatric Emergency Services because I wanted to kill myself on the job. The whole episode is a little weird in my mind, time warped a bit and I remember crying nonstop and being unable to stop shouting, but when I look back what I remember most is feeling completely calm. Calm and soft and light. I think that was due to me finally verbalizing my thoughts and seeing that others did care. That I wasn’t some worthless pest to them. When I got to PES enough time passed that I got my panic attack under control, and when a psychiatrist finally saw me I downplayed the whole incident out of fear I was going to be institutionalized. I was scared as fuck in my little temp room in my little plastic chair staring at my hospital band and desperately hoping that none of the other people there would talk to me. So when I saw professionals I lied. I got a doctor’s note to stay out of work for two days and went home.

I finally had to admit to myself that I was not doing well. I was not handling my anxiety or depression. I was not ok and that it was ok to not be ok.

I was still scared to get professional help.

Instead, I spent that November participating in NaNoWriMo, where I wrote what would later become the first several chapters of “The Apprenticeship”. The first installment to the Close But No Cigar AU. I decided that I wanted and needed to write something that was happier. Ahsoka Tano made me happy and I wanted to do something good, anything good (for once in my fucking life). And convinced that I’d never done a good thing and never could, I decided to do a good thing first for a fictional character. So in I went to a story where Ahsoka Tano was an anxious wreck of a person, but had support and help and love. Into a world where Anakin Skywalker got the sort of help he needed. A place where they could all still meet and be friends and be family. Not somewhere with no pain, but somewhere softer.

The next month I finally got a PCP, and at the ass crack of 2017 I finally got medicated again.

I had already posted the first chapter of The Apprenticeship and energized by the meds and the reviews I got hard to work on finishing that story.

Funny thing about medicine, it’s a hassle and often the first thing you take is a unique struggle that requires adjustment. My first medication seemed great! For about two weeks! Then I developed a hand tremor so serious I couldn’t feed myself. That night I seriously struggled to not drive my car into the oncoming traffic lane and avoided all bridges on my way home from work. What I took helped my depressive symptoms but made my anxiety worse. The hand tremor was also a serious and rare side effect. The next day I was off that medicine and on a new one along with gabapentin to help the tremors.

Writing was difficult as fuck with my fingers shaking and twitching on the keyboard but I needed it as much as my medicine.

The new stuff worked out much better for me, we tweaked the dosage and I’m still on it. I’m glad to be on it!

Let’s do a little time skip shall we? That summer, a year after my experience at PES, I started writing Declarations. I wanted to see more Ahsoka & Obi-Wan content. They seemed like two people who should be close friends, have more of a father-daughter relationship, and general be together more than they were on screen. I found the idea of two Temple raised Jedi, who seem to break a bit from the mold and thinking of the Order, exploring their feelings for one another to be fascinating. I quickly realized that it would work really well to show that they are both mentally ill as well. I don’t like the term “mental illness” but it is accurate so I use it.

So I seeded it in from the start. I wanted to have two good people with anxiety and depression and PTSD and who knows what else find each other and help each other out! I wanted Ahsoka and Obi-Wan to be happy damn it!

So I started writing the story I wanted to see.

And unwittingly did what I had already been doing, pouring my own personal self into the story.

I’m not saying that putting some of yourself into your writing is bad, it really isn’t! Writing can be an amazing tool to explore your own experiences and sort your own feelings. I had been using it for over a year at that point to help cope with my own awful experiences, many of which I was still having to live with and through.

What happened for me is that I put a little too much of myself into this story. At the same time I was doing that my supervisor had gotten even stranger and in some ways worse. I didn’t have daily dread of being fired but I still had daily dread over who I would find when I arrived. My supervisor came in two flavors: Angry and Blaming, or Sweet and Frivolous. I still can’t decide if she was really just that abusive or if she also could use a helping hand in the mental health department. I really can’t. She did abuse me verbally and emotionally at work, she did gaslight me, she did scare me. I’m not saying that she wasn’t an abuser at all but I just don’t know if she was that way because she needs help too.

I hope she gets help if she needs it. But I’ll be grateful if I never have to see her again in my life.

Back to Declarations.

I put too much in and it had great reviews and lots of love, and I got very nervous and defensive over it. Too defensive and nervous over it. I really want to shout out to White_Ithiliel again, because she really helped me make this fic A LOT BETTER. Like, A LOT. Y’all don’t even realize what she has saved you from!! In the process she also has had to deal with my wild anxiety issues and defensiveness.

Seriously, thank you for everything you’ve done for this fic and your endless patience with me!

The latest chapter I wrote in the spring of 2018, we started going back and forth with edits in the summer, and then I panicked over a good question and point she made. She wrote back and I very nervously peeked at her cropped response (the “show less” version) sometime around October 2018. My abusive supervisor had left but I had been asked to work with/under another lady who wasn’t not my supervisor. She was almost equally bad in another direction for me. My anxiety spiked and my depression got terrible again around the time we were working on this chapter. I saw literally half a sentence and read it weirdly, panicked, had a good cry, and closed the document.

I literally haven’t been in the head space to look at it since then.

My best friend moved in with me that fall, but he’d just had a suicide attempt a few month before. My own mental health, as I mentioned, was plummeting. This past winter my depression got out of hand. I stopped going to my band practices, I nearly stopped writing, I was exhausted. The only reason I didn’t go back to eating poorly and treating myself like shit was because he was there, and just having someone be physically there who I knew cared about me made a huge difference. If I had popcorn for dinner too often, he’d make us a frozen pizza. If I drank too much (and I abused alcohol this past winter for sure), he was there to help me with the hangover and violent sickness. Thank god for my best friend! My suicidal ideation went up but I didn’t become suicidal. This was the first winter in almost a decade where I haven’t wanted to seriously kill myself at some point. I had flashes of it, moments where the bottom of the world dropped out but they lasted for minutes or hours instead of weeks and months.

I talk to him a lot about my fics and fandoms, and he very patiently listens and helps me work through it all. He lets me read him what I’ve written or what I’m reading if I think it’s funny, and we talked a lot about this chapter of Declarations and my reaction to a sincere question regarding its content and characterizations. He offered to look at the chapter with me and see what my editor/beta’s response had actually been versus what I was afraid it was.

I turned him down in November for that because I realized I needed space and time away from this particular fic. This story where I made myself into Ahsoka and Obi-Wan and Anakin, which I could no longer separate the fictional world I had created from the emotions I was feeling about my “real life”.

White_Ithiliel, I am so SO sorry I never responded. I know my silence was probably anxiety inducing too. I want to say again that you didn’t do anything wrong or rude or mean to me. I just wasn’t mentally in a place to be doing what I was doing, and needed to turn myself off and on again.

Today, after having a full week of writing and nearly daily updating fics I enjoy I realized that my life has changed since winter.

I am at a new job with wonderful people that I really enjoy. It pays better so I’m also less stressed about money. My benefits finally kick in today and I plan on getting me a therapist soon along with a new PCP. I’m doing alright. I’m doing better than I have in years.

A huge part of that is thanks to having people PM me here on tumblr and being so genuinely enthusiastic about the stories that I write. So here’s to you all for helping me through my funk over the years, giving me ideas, and giving me a damn good laugh! dontcallmebugaboo

thirdbroomstick

woeful-woods

bobkitten

Gabby(Kirasoka)

And of course ithiliel-the-french-tolkiendil (AKA White_Ithiliel)

Y’all have been life savers, maybe even more so than I realized until I decided to write this whole crazy thing out!

Thanks to all of you, even those who just leave me a kudos or a like, I’ve been trucking along. Fandom has literally saved my life multiple times, and probably will again.

So today, feeling high on my new found writing powers, I finally went in and finished editing for the latest chapter of Declarations! Hell yeah me! :D

That said! I’m putting it on a formal hiatus!

I have the next chapter written (not edited) and several chapter ideas throw out on the page, but I also think I still need more time away from this story. I want to finish Declarations (y’all don’t understand how BADLY I WANT TO FINISH IT), but I also know that right now, where we are, we are literally on SEASON ONE, EPISODE 2.

Legit the next chapter takes place after the malevolence (AKA Episode 2 of season 1).

And we are currently over 32k in.

This is gonna be a long ass haul fic everybody. I didn’t expect it to be, I didn’t mean it to be, I wasn’t planning on it. I meant for it to be maybe 10 chapters and be super vague about the timeline.

But I think I’m just as much in love with this story as a lot of you are and dang it I want more! That means I have to write more, and that means I need to give myself space to actually be approaching it as a story.

And not as something I wish was happening in my life.

To anyone still reading, thank you, this thing was long than some of the stories I’ve written! But I wanted to share this. Yes, to explain why Declarations is currently in carbonite. But more importantly to talk about mental health.

Mental health fucking sucks my dudes. It’s hard and it’s messy and sometimes it comes out of nowhere and then leaves after eating your favorite snacks and cold clocking you at 3 AM.

I’ve been on a hell of a journey.

And a lot of you are too.

I’m not “tumblr famous” and I don’t think I’m any sort of well known fandom writer. But There’s enough of you out there that I wanted to post this in case you need to know that you’re not alone out there.

If any of you EVER need to talk, please shoot me a message! I’m legit down to talk about my fics, about your fics, about meta, theories, characters, what ifs, AU’s, etc. I’m ALSO legit down to talk about mental health and all the messy things that come with that. If you want to chat with someone about your fears, your ideation, your intrusive thoughts, HIT ME UP!

You’ve all been here for me, even though you didn’t know it.

I’d like to return that favor. So anytime, anyplace, please hit me up. I promise, nothing you’ve done is unacceptable or beyond the line. 

After all, in case you’d like a breakdown of the way I had a breakdown this last year, in the span of 10 hours I literally: 

Accidentally self inserted myself into a fic and didn’t realize it until asked about why characters were acting that way, got angry over someone not knowing what I didn’t even know especially when it wasn’t explicit, then immediately felt like the Worst Person ever for getting mad and anxious, went home and cried ugly sobs on my cat, debated if I deserved to live before immediately deciding that DUH OF COURSE I DO, but that I was just a sad sack and everyone knew it, ate one single can of vienna sausage directly out of the can for dinner, washed it down with waaaay too much box wine, cried again about fictional characters because I had “ruined” them, asked my best friend (drunkenly mind you) if I was a good person because I thought I was secretly the worst and a manipulator b/c I self inserted myself into my own fanfiction, and then spent the next 6 months or so anxiously opening and closing my google doc in fear of What I Might Learn About Myself or worse the discovery that I Had Been A Bad Person b/c I stated my thought process out clearly but obviously that’s just “mean” to do because I am a bad and can’t not do mean or something! 

Like...I get why I did it but fucks sake me. It took a lot of broken logic to get there. Looking back I don’t know how I did that actually. This is a self call out. I am @ing myself.

So, yeah.

Not sure how to end this. So...uh, feel free to talk to me if you want to!

[yaachtynoboat711]

Cater 2 U

A/N: So here I am once again, giving you all another unnecessary one-shot that’s coming out before an At First Glance chapter. I literally cannot write this specific chapter and it’s driving me up a wall. It’ll be out one of these days, I promise. Until then, let’s stan some present-day Yaa and Wins! Also, special shouts to @maya-leche for inspiring this fic.

Warning: Cotton candy Fluff, Black Love, A Black King worshipping his Black Queen

Word Count: ~1.5K

This Saturday morning was unusual for you and Winston. Winston got up before you did, which was especially strange given that you were the early riser on Saturday mornings. You were the one being cuddled to sleep; you rested half of your head on your silk-covered pillow and the other half on your fiance’s chest. All of that room in his California king bed and y’all chose to cuddle up on each other. Your short arms cuddled around his waist like a child holding on to their favorite stuffed animal. Well, he was your favorite stuffed animal.

You were the highlight of his morning every morning. He made sure to observe every single detail of his Pumpkin; your caramel-hued skin, your perfectly arched eyebrows, your sweet scent, and the glow that radiated from your face.  He took in all of your sleeping beauty, even the loud snoring, light drooling, and open mouth. To Winston, everything about you was beautiful. God had truly blessed him with an angel--a loud, outgoing, bold, funny, and sweet angel.

He looked at you and realized that he should treat you today. After all, you’d been helping everyone but yourself. He gently placed you back on your side of the bed and kissed you on your forehead before heading to his master bathroom.

He made a beeline to your hair drawer. You’d managed to keep the same things you had in your D.C. bathroom in his California bathroom. Watching you do locs after all of these years and watching other people on YouTube do their locs made him feel like he was your loctician. His face lit up the moment he found all of your Wash Day staples. She deserves this.

He kissed you out of your sleep. You chuckled as you stirred from your long slumber.  “C’mon, Pumpkin, time to get up. This Wash Day isn’t going to start on its own.”, Winston cooed.  Your sleepy eyes were greeted by your favorite Tobagonian tree, your Winnie the Duke. “Good morning, my Winnie.”, you said sweetly. Unlike Winston, your morning voice was a good two octaves higher than your already sweet and melodic voice. He looked into your light brown orbs with admiration and awe. “Thank you for the reminder about Wash Day”, you said as you began to get out of the bed.

Winston almost immediately stopped you from moving. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Pumpkin! Where are you going?”, Winston questioned. You gave your fiance a stern and threatening look. You reluctantly returned to bed, arms crossed and attitude on 11.

Winston shuffled back to the bathroom. He closed the sliding doors enough to leave a small crack for your viewing pleasure. There was enough scooting and crashing going on in there for you to get up, but you decided not to act on your impulse. After all, you’d ruined many a surprise tryna be nosy, so there was no point of ruining this one.

After what seemed like forever, Winston emerged from the bathroom visibly out of breath. “Alright, Dr. Duke, are you ready for the Wash Day experience of a lifetime?”, Winston eagerly inquired. He was practically gushing with excitement and yet you looked at him with a twisted face of genuine confusion. “Why are you so excited about my Wash Day, Duke?”, you asked, keeping the same confused look on your face. You got out of bed once more and Winston enthusiastically led you to the bathroom the same way you usually led him into Sephora, Whole Foods, or Target.

You look around and see that Winston has turned the master bathroom into a pop-up salon. Your hair drawer is out in the middle of the bathroom with your hair clips and loc gel on top of the drawer. There was a stool in the tub, along with your DIY shampoo, moisturizers, and hair oils bordering the tub. You noticed your old t-shirt that you dried your hair off with.

You turned around to see a now shirtless Winston smiling from ear to ear. “Well...uh...I-uh...decided to treat you today by uh...doing your locs today. Consider me your own Celeste today.”, Winston said nervously. No matter how much he was around you, Winston still managed to become sorta bashful, which you never understood why. You found yourself giggling like a schoolgirl.

“What did I do to fucking deserve you, Winston Christopher? I really get to marry you?!”, you squealed into his chest as you hugged your tree of a fiance. You looked up to gaze into his coffee-colored orbs with full adoration. He wiped the stray tears that managed to escape your eyes. The vibrations of his hearty laugh and the kiss he placed on top of your head made you warm on the inside. He finally broke the silence, “ Stop asking so many questions, my love. You’ve been working nonstop since October. You do realize that your partners had to *force* you to finally take your vacations days in September, right? Besides, with the Sheimbloom and now the wedding coming up, your summer’s been a little busy. So please, let me cater to my Pumpkin today.”

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, Winston was right. You’d been working like a maniac since October, working on cases and speaking at many events on many platforms. You did take a break during major holidays, but you didn’t get a trip unless it was a business trip. You had been grinding for the Sheimbloom award and now that you’d finally won, you needed to be catered to.

You rolled your eyes at Winston. “Sure. You bet not fuck my shits up either. I will drop your ass like a bad call.”, you warned. Once more, Winston’s face lit up and he quickly led you to the tub and sat on the stool in the tub. After you situated yourself between his legs, he poured warm water over your head, beginning the hair ritual.

His heavy yet steady hands gently massaged your scalp and combed through the length of your locs. He was in a zone. The two of you conversed about locations for the wedding as he applied the scalp cleanser in a second time.

“--I was thinking either Martha’s Vineyard or New Orleans.”, you presented.

“Why those places, sis?”, he asked in a higher-pitched. He was in full hairdresser mode, which made you not take the conversation serious anymore.

“Well, Martha’s Vineyard because I like the idea of having a small, black-tie wedding. New Orleans because obviously my folks are there and that’s where you and I truly fell in love with each other. We were in love with the thought of each other, but it wasn’t until that night that we realized we were in love. New Orleans will always have a special place in my heart thanks to you.”, you replied sweetly. You could sense he was processing what you had just said by the way he stopped massaging your head. You looked up to see Winston in la la land smirking. “Aye, nigga, I ain’t got all day. You about to be fired on your first day.”, you growled through your teeth as you nudged his knee.

His head fell back in laughter. “I’m sorry, love. I must’ve been too deep in thought.”

“MUST HAVE BEEN?!” You clicked your teeth and shot him a look of disgust, “I’m not about to argue with you.”

He finally washed out your scalp cleanser and dried your hair with an old t-shirt (he learned that from YouTube). He helped you out of the tub and on back to the bedroom, hair drawer in tow. “Alright..”, he began, “...let’s get this mane together, shall we?” He sectioned your hair off and went to work integrating the new growth into the remainder of each loc. Your seven-year loc journey was paying off with your hair now falling halfway down your back. The sensation of Winston palm-rolling your locs and clipping your roots was therapeutic, considering that you weren’t doing it this time.

The two of you conversed about everything as your hair air dried. “Now I have to say, Wins, from what I can feel, you did a terrific job. Chantay, you stay!”, you exclaimed. You turned around to see Winston showing off that beautiful gap in a cocky grin and even cockier laugh. “Well you know, I do what I can...especially for my favorite girl.”, he remarked. You rolled your eyes in pure disgust, “Whatever, nigga.”

After being under the dryer, the two of you spent the remainder of the day drinking wine and watching The Golden Girls, a mutual hit in the Abdullah-Duke households. You were sitting on the couch sitting under one leg and the other leg in Winston’s lap. The two of you laughed uncontrollably at the antics of your favorite four old white women.

Winston stared at you as you lit up whenever you cackled. He’d been noticing a glow around you for a few weeks now. Something was off, not a bad off, but something was out of the ordinary with you. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but whatever it was could wait. He pulled you into his lap and showered you with kisses. “I love you so much, Yaa Denae.” You looked into his eyes and kissed his lips and chubby ass cheeks, “I love you too, Celeste.” Before you could jump out of his grasp, he pushed you out of his lap and tried to contain his annoyed laughter, “GOODBYE, DENAE!”

TAAAAAAGGGGGGG LISSSSSSTTTTTT:

@eriknutinthispoosy @kumkaniudaku @vanitykocaine @dramaqueenamby @maya-leche @texasbama @wakandas-vibranium @wakandan-flowerz @babygirlofwakanda @chaneajoyyy @randomwordprompts @bartierbakarimobisson @blackgirloneshots @great-neckpectations @muse-of-mbaku @eerythingisshaka @teheeboo @niquelafleur @dacreskars @storibambino @sarahboseman @pastelastronomy24 @plussizeappreciationfics @panthergoddessbast @royallyprincesslilly @theblackandgold-series

[lovemepleaase]

goals tag!

hi!!!! so setting goals and trying to really be introspective has been a big thing for me as of late, so talking about and celebrating what i’ve done and how i’d like to grow in the coming year really caught my interest!! thank you so much to @theasstour for the tag!!

❄️🌷in the winter/spring i…

did not have this blog yet sooooo moving on!!!

☀️🍂🎅in the summer/fall/december i…

posted my first piece-- part one of snap went up on july 16!! after much pushing from @tayevia <3. looking back, it’s certainly not my best, but it kickstarted everything for me and remains the second most popular piece on my blog!!

the very next day i posted my first one shot with relax!!! 

it was a couple weeks later i started filling out blurbs-- this was my first one, and i remember being SHOCKED when it broke 10 notes.

this was the very first “”smut”” i ever posted....i think i’ve come a long way.

it was somewhere around august that me and @meetyourmouths had a fateful discussion about wanting harry to impregnate us (obviously) that turned into hours and days and weeks and months of nonstop plotting which turned into ppp which after much deliberation turned into not so typical. this plot really is our baby and we are SO excited to share them with you!!!!!

on october first, i posted black and blue, which remains my most popular post to this day. 

on december fourth i posted my christmas piece from @alwaysjacked-up‘s 25 days of christmas!! it was my first time being involved in something like this, and i just had so much fun :)

on december 31, i posted warm-- this was big for me because i’d been in a slump for MONTHS. writing had been impossible for me, but i sat down and cranked that piece out in a couple hours, and i slowly feel the bug coming back...hopefully.

total word count for 2018 (or just what’s in my docs cause i’m way too lazy to add up the other 2/3 of writing in my notes): 44,724

🙏in 2019 i’d like to…

post not so typical!!! yayyyyy

finish snap, for god’s sake

let’s be ambitious-- make it to 10k followers!!

while we’re at it, break 10k notes on a piece.

write more-- both in word count and in quantity of output. i’d really love to work on my descriptions and details and be able to post really good writing like all the people i admire.

stop comparing myself so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i tag @meetyourmouths @honeytryst @harryonstage @majorharry @alwaysjacked-up @isitjamiemoriarty @smokeinherperfume and anyone else that wants to!!!

[signaturewindowwashingfl]

This Is Why Denver is the Best Place for You To Move

There are many great places to live in the United States. Some cities are rich in culture and have a thriving economy. Others have amazing weather and beautiful landscapes. But what if you want all of these things? Well, there's a city that has it all: Denver! It's no secret why people love living here: we've got great restaurants, affordable housing, and nonstop entertainment options—and oh yeah, our famous Rocky Mountain air is pretty sweet too! So if you're thinking about moving to Denver or already calling this city home, keep reading on to find out exactly why we're the best place for you to call home.

The food scene

Whether you're looking for a classic steakhouse, a modern bistro or the best tacos in town, Denver has an incredible food scene. If you're from New York or Chicago, expect to be blown away by how many diverse cuisines and fantastic restaurants are available in Denver. From fine dining to casual eateries and street food stalls, there's something for everyone.

The city has one of the highest concentrations of food trucks in America and has been recognized as having some of the best food truck options anywhere in the country. It also boasts some of the most popular food festivals around—including A Taste of Colorado (a five-day festival featuring more than 100 local chefs), Eats Denver Winter Market (an indoor marketplace with over 30 vendors), and countless others throughout springtime through fall!

The weather

The weather is a huge factor when it comes to where you live. Denver has a mild climate year-round, with four distinct seasons: spring (March 1 to May 31), summer (June 1 to September 30), fall (October 1 to December 31), and winter (January 1 to March 31). While the average temperature for Denver in February is around 50 degrees Fahrenheit, it can be as low as 20 degrees Fahrenheit or as high as 80 degrees Fahrenheit. In addition to these numbers, there are two things that make Denver especially ideal for those who love outdoor activities: its proximity to mountains and its countless open spaces. The city sits at an elevation of 5,280 feet above sea level and is surrounded by Colorado's Rocky Mountains—which means there's always something exciting for you to do outdoors!

On top of all this, Denver has some beautiful parks and green spaces such as Cherry Creek State Park near downtown. This park offers hiking trails on both sides so visitors can easily see both sides without having to cross any roads!

The real estate market

If the real estate market is your thing, then Denver is your city. There are many reasons that this is true, but one of them is simply this: there's a lot of good real estate for sale.

And it's not just any old good real estate; it's also affordable and plentiful. If you're looking to buy a house or an apartment in Denver, there are plenty of options available at every price point imaginable—from the most luxurious properties down through more modest homes and apartments all the way down to entry-level condos or townhomes. The number of options on the market means that anyone can find something they like regardless of their budget or lifestyle needs, while also ensuring that sellers have plenty of potential buyers from which to choose when deciding whether or not to sell their property at all (and if so) how much they should list it for sale at first glance (and if so) what kind of amenities might entice prospective buyers into making an offer on their property during negotiations with a said seller after viewing pictures online via social media sites such as Facebook where most people post pictures about everyday life--and share pictures with others that show off how happy they've been lately since moving out here from somewhere else like New York City where prices were so high before moving westward towards Colorado Springs but now feels more affordable thanks largely due its lower cost living expenses compared daily expenses back east across the country such

Jobs and the cost of living

Denver is a great place for workers. The city has one of the lowest unemployment rates in the country and it's affordable to live here. It also boasts a large population of young professionals: millennials make up nearly 40% of Denver's population!

Denver has become a hub for tech companies and startups, too. If you're interested in working in the tech industry, then Denver is definitely worth exploring.

The outdoor activities

Denver is a great place to go hiking, biking, and skiing. There are parks and open spaces everywhere that are perfect for outdoor activities. You can also go rock climbing in Red Rocks if you want some more action!

Culture and arts

Denver is home to many museums, galleries, and theaters. The Denver Center for the Performing Arts (DCPA) hosts several Broadway shows each year as well as performances by artists such as Billy Joel and Michael Crawford. It also includes concert halls, an opera house, and a children's theater in its repertoire. The Denver Art Museum displays more than 80,000 pieces from all over the world including works from famous artists such as Frida Kahlo and Georgia O'Keeffe. History Colorado Center is another popular destination that covers two floors of exhibits about Colorado history in addition to offering daily lectures on its grounds during summer months.

The Denver Botanic Gardens have an extensive collection of plants; they also host annual events like the International Orchid Show or Holiday Train Show which attract thousands of visitors annually while providing opportunities for families to spend quality time together at these events (if you're interested in taking part in these activities make sure you check out their website). Finally, there's the Denver Zoo where visitors can see animals from around the world up close; it's one of those places where you feel like you're actually transported somewhere else entirely!

Sports fans are aplenty

Denver is home to the Denver Broncos, one of the most famous football teams in the country. The Broncos have been around since 1960 and have won two Super Bowls (and lost another), so you know they must be good at football.

The Rockies are also a professional baseball team that plays its games in Coors Field, one of the most beautiful stadiums in all of sports history. Coors Field has hosted three All-Star games and was recently ranked as one of America's top five ballparks by ESPN Magazine.

Plus, Denver has plenty more professional sports teams: The Colorado Avalanche ice hockey team; two basketball teams: The Nuggets (formerly known as the Nugs) and Rockets; three soccer clubs: FC Denver, Colorado Rapids FC and Colorado Mammoth Hockey Club; plus four lacrosse teams: Outlaws Lacrosse Club Blue/Red/White Teams as well as Bandits Lacrosse Club Black/Gold Teams

Denver is a great place to live.

Denver is a great place to live. With its natural beauty and diversity, there are many things to do in Denver. In addition, the economy has been doing well lately, with plenty of jobs and affordable housing options for people looking to relocate there.

This makes it an ideal place for you and your family or friends who are looking for new homes or apartments in the area!

Opportunities and services offered to aid in employment

Denver is a great place to live and work, with many exciting opportunities. You can find regular jobs as well as contract or temporary positions for workers of all types. If you are interested in working as a window washer, there are many options in Denver that can help you get started in this industry.

Window Washing in Denver, CO is a growing market. The best window washers have experience and the proper equipment to get the job done right. If you’re thinking about starting your own window-washing business or looking for something new to add to your existing window-washing business, then maybe it’s time to think about moving to Denver.

Signature Window Washing is the most trusted, respected, and professional window-washing company in Denver. Signature Window Washing offers unbeatable services that you can’t find with any other window-washing company. Contact us today to schedule an appointment to see how we can make your windows shine!

We hope this has been helpful in your decision to move to Denver. It can be a big step, so we want you to know that we’re here if you need any help deciding or with any other questions. This city is so full of opportunities that it can be overwhelming at times, but don’t worry—we’re here for you!

[thisnerdsadventures]

semester update

oh hi friends im still alive, if you can believe it

remember that checkerboard schedule from the beginning of the year? well that got filled up

well i accidentally signed up for too much so i’ve been working 15 hours a day for around 6 days a week and i’m tired! :D

fun things i’ve done hm ok 

went to DC for an onsite! last year i also went, and visited the white house and washington monument. this year i went shopping around georgetown area. did i get the job this year you ask? no!

went to NYC for an onsite! third time i’ve been to new york in my three years of college - also got to actually work in the new york public library this time, in one of the reading rooms people take touristy pictures of. Also went to chelsea market, saw a friend, and got very fresh noodles, which were very fresh. did i get the job you ask? stay tuned!

held fall formal - ended up being 200 people in a room that probably shouldn’t hold 200 people, but it turned out well somehow! also a freshman came up to me afterwards and thanked me for the job well done and social chair is often a thankless job and i have lots of feelings about this :’)

here’s a list of really insane work things that i’ve done

this past weekend I worked 20 hours on the same pset and wrote almost 2k lines of code (for reference, i wrote around 4k lines of code for my internship. my whole summer internship.) sometimes it be like that

i had 6 interviews in the past week and a half, which is....you guessed it....really horrible!

worked from 6pm to 3am on the same class one night. was i tilted? yes!

went from drinking coffee a couple times a week to almost twice a day

and finally, here’s how my life went to shit this semester (Bc there’s always a point where your life really derails each semester, and you never see it coming)

so i looked at my calendar and i wasn’t studying/prepping for interviews/psetting in waking hours for approximately three hours last week! one hour was spent exercising, one was spent watching netflix, and the other hour was spent crying!

well to be honest, the week before that was also bad. i think M-Th I just didn’t take a break and then Friday I took the night off

ok so apparently acocrding to my calendar, the last time i actually had my shit together was October 8th. ok thats fine!

this semester, a two week span of 8 interviews, one exam, and a mess in one of my classes was ultimately what derailed my life (the mess being a really hard unsolvable pset, having to write a completely new section in the class notes, writing an NIH style project proposal, present it, and review three others in the span of around a couple weeks with some to no prior warning or erratic rescheduling of each and every single one of these assignments)

so i ended up dropping a class (a 6 unit one) to save myself, and hopefully it starts working soon. also imposter syndrome has been real (has never been this bad before), and unhelpful replies to my “im really really tired and stressed i cannot make it to x” texts have (surprisingly!) increased my stress, and now i just want to sleep. good news is i haven’t completely dropped all of my extracurriculars like i always end up doing, but my urop has really dropped off the radar, but as i said before i’ve averaged around 3 free hours a week for the past month, so oops

i had a thought to just cancel all my other interviews, but im literally taking 3 classes, and i’m having trouble figuring out why my semester has just been really bad so far. in new ways from last semester, my technical confidence and personal confidence have really been tested and are pretty low at the current moment. This past week feels like I’ve just been told from all sides of the table that whatever I put out on a personal and technical level hasn’t been good enough, in every single class and from the company I just interviewed with. Working nonstop with no end in sight and being told its not good enough is really rough guys

[caffeinejournalist23]

In case you ever wondered what happens when you make your health a bottom priority

In case you ever wondered what it's like to have your health be the bottom priority for almost an entire semester, here's this post.

This semester has been nonstop trial for me.

It started in October; the delayed loans, financial stress, and madness of my pod residents all had me - to quote 21 Pilots - stressed out. Amidst all that, a depressive episode was just inevitable. My haunting, malicious depression just couldn't resist the opportunity; I was home sleeping, not eating, not showering, not studying, not living.

Then the loans hit and it seemed like there was a light at the end of the tunnel; I wasn't gonna starve anymore, I could leave my room because I could afford to shower and do laundry, I could replace my computer, I could treat myself - it was all gonna be ok.

Until it wasn't.

The depression couldn't let go and just because I had a heavy burden off my back didn't mean the rest of the world would comply. I still had little energy, I still had anxiety - this may be the worst it's been in years; I was almost constantly ordering grocery deliveries, terrified of starving or being poisoned by my cat's unchanged litterbox again.

Then not only that, but the running around and scaring people in cold wet rain brought on another hurdle to jump; a sinus infection soon followed by an ear infection. It soiled my plan to start training with my new job - which I took out of desperation because I came to the startling realization that I had spent over $7k in less than a month. I still can't fathom it.

And because God or somebody just couldn't resist adding more to my fan, I grew the most painful cyst of my entire life - literally the most painful experience I've ever had in my entire life. I've been battling this cyst for over a week; everyday last week it grew and grew and got more and more painful. I went to the ER, the doctor didn't numb me, and thus his procedure to drain the cyst became the most painful experience of my life. I'm a tough nut to crack - my pain tolerance is especially high, probably because my body and my circumstances have plagued me with pain all my life. But in that hospital room, I cried - cried in sheer pain, yelped and screamed, begged the doctor to stop.

Now the cyst is still here, bleeding and hurting and occasionally oozing more yellow fluids. A general surgeon wasn't available to remove the sac (watch Dr. Pimple Popper if you're not familiar with what I'm referring to), so unfortunately this cyst will refill and come back over and over until I have a formal procedure on it. I'm behind on homework, I'm nauseous and suffer headaches and heat flashes from the sheer pain, I haven't been to classes in a week, I still have yet to start training for my new job, I'm down to my last $15, and my dysfunctional family invited me to a secret Thanksgiving without my mom or brother (I'm assuming) - if I can provide my own transportation because they don't love me enough to pick me up themselves.

And in the summer I was doing so well; I had a rough first week+ getting to work on time (it was basically summer school so early bird mornings), but soon after I was getting there not just on time but Early! I was losing weight, I adopted my ESA, my mental health was improving, Panda and I were best of friends and supporting each other (which we still do actually, just feels less enthusiastic and optimistic now), and believe it or not I thought maybe I could pursue a boyfriend finally.

And then all this happened. My health is literal shit - or more like literal blood and pus.

It's so frustrating and irritating and heartbreaking. Why did this have to happen now?! Why this semester, when I'm so close to being done with this, when my GPA development is more critical than ever?!

All of my commitments and responsibilities are falling through the cracks; my unpaid internship, my exhausting RA duties, my expensive schooling. My health is at the bottom of a to-do list as long as the Bible.

And as much as I want to blame all of these external circumstances, some blame has to be on myself; I should've gripped my depression by the reigns sooner - done something sooner. I should've seen a doctor for my infections sooner and just pushed through. I never should've told myself to take a rest day because that soon became a rest week. And now it's a matter of if I'm going to pass this semester or not, and I can't afford to fail - literally. Failing this semester means homelessness, no money, no food or showering or bed to sleep on - nothing. And I let my grades sit just above my health on my priorities list.

So take it from me, make sure your list of priorities actually makes sense.