#been nauseous all week!
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getting rejected by my first grad school was not enough ive also been fucking cursed
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hinamie · 5 months ago
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quick lmhs itafushi because god help me i have Not been able to get the concept of yuuji smiling/laughing into kisses out of my head
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
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millenniumscreampuff · 9 months ago
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Been sick throughout the week, but I still tried to draw at least a bit 😤
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tj-crochets · 7 months ago
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It’s time to make coasters from a bunch of HSTs from the box of scraps I got!
I’m aiming for 4” ish square, and I’m making A Bunch so I can give them to my endocrinologist’s entire staff because they have hugely improved my quality of life. Like. By leaps and bounds. I’d make them all full quilts if I knew how many people worked there but that’s maybe a little much so quilted coasters it is! And maybe some quilted mug cozies!
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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months ago
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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girlblocker · 5 days ago
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genuinely had one of the proudest moments of my life today and rocked a really hard orchestra solo that ive spent a month and a half worrying about and practicing 12 hours a week for :) wanted to tell you all
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goldkirk · 2 months ago
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flamboyant-king · 1 year ago
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I had an Isaac run where it was so stressful my heartrate was at a 145bpm and it persisted for 6 hours. After that, like every day that followed, my heart would just suddenly shoot up to 120-140bpm for an hour if I so much as thought about something I've been stressing over recently. Everybody encouraging me to go to the ER. And I'm just like "Oh please I've actually always been like this, I'm fine." Had to chop down my Adderall dosage. But I swear I've felt like this since high school, but I guess the medicine enhances the feeling and that feeling was ANXIETY.
So, suffice to say, playing The Binding of Isaac™️ almost gave me a heart attack.
#and its not the adderall thats just inducing the heartrate#cause i only got prescribed adderall this year#dad got diagnosed with afib when i was still in school. he rushed himself to the hospital with mom while i was taking a test#i was like what the heck where did you guys go and mom said oh dad was having a heart attack or something and we didnt want to bother you#like WOULDNT YOU TELL YOUR CHILD OH MAYBE YOU WONT SEE YOUR FATHER AFTER WE GO TO THE HOSPITAL BUT FINISH YOUR EXAM BABY#that was like 2020 and we have a couple of those oxygen readers for your fingers and it measures your heartbeat#i out one on for fun im just sitting there at the dinner table and my heartrate was at 120#like i didnt do anything we been stuck at home because pandemic and we just having a nice dinner#and my heartbeat was just thats my resting heartrate. they told me to try the blood pressure thing#average blood pressure but truly my heartbeat was just vibing at 120. mis padres were like oh no maybe you have afib too#babes youre too young to have that. and i jsut said oh is that what it means when im nauseous and have to lie down#i havent been diagnosed with anything. i suspect is tachycardia but no official thing#although i havent seen a cardiologist. what if we pay to get a screening and its nothing#i dont want to go thru all that and let it be nothing. lets wait until its a real problem#when my brother and his family visited just like what two weeks ago he was like#he was sitting on moms exercise bike and said it reads your heartrate#and it did you put your hands on the handle and it reads yer pulse#i told him like oooh let me try. hey brother my resting heartrate is 120 a lot. and hes like. what. get on this thing#and i get off the couch literally resting and lay my hands on the handles#and we see it go up. from 80 to 90 to 100 to 110 to 120 and hes a nurse and my moms a nurse and he says go upstairs and rest#dont hang out here with the kids. and im like ha i already told mom#he said sit there for ten minutes dont do anythingg and were trying again#he got mom to call our doctor and my doctor said to stop taking the adderall which is NOT IDEAL theres worse repurcussions to stop cold#so i cut mine in half. cause i had a dosage of 20mg and i almost fainted at work. we died the dosage down to 15#but after all that i cut my 15 down to 7.5 cause hey i cant stop cold but i can ween myself#brother said i shouldnt be taking adderall if im not doing anything that requires focus. but im like i need focus to live man#look at how much ive been drawing...i mean its only in like hour long intervals but its productive#so theres that. i can feel my heartrate already up but i guess its just a thing with me...anywho#doodles#the binding of isaac
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feeling--pink · 3 days ago
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I wanna frough up
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smalleevee · 13 days ago
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guys i'm about to get picked up for a date and i feel like i'm gonna hurl please wish me luck <3
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stormyrainyday · 6 months ago
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i have GOT to stop eating things i'm allergic to these foods are not giving me energy all they're doing is making my tummy hurt
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beabnormal24 · 2 days ago
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yellobb · 24 days ago
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If things could stop going in exactly the wrong wrong direction that would be excellent
#m rambles#if I could trade all my years of good luck when I was younger to just be fucking normal I would#the latest in my series of unfortunate events:#decided to hire traffic lawyer for my ticket#traffic lawyer gets my info but never sends any follow up#today I got a fucking ‘failed to appear in court’#because apparently my lawyer didn’t do jack shit#and it’s just one more FUCKING thing#I don’t even know what the fuck to do now#this will probably fuck up my chances of getting my ticket dismissed#and I’m too paranoid to go for a lawyer again because if I fail to show up again they can put out a warrant for my arrest#im so nauseous#I really can’t deal with being alive anymore and I mean that in the most serious fucking way I can#if I had access to a gun or a garage I could lock myself in I would fucking do it#but I’m too terrified of being in pain to try any other way so I guess I live to see another sunrise tomorrow#just to go into work at a job I probably won’t have in a month’s time because of layoffs#to explain to my coworkers and my manager why I’m so fucking behind#and without a single bit of professional help because my therapist dropped me weeks ago and I’ve been stuck in a hole ever since#I’ve left my house less that 5 times in the entire month of October and yet I live in a fucking pigs sty#I sleep on the couch because I’m too tired to climb the stairs and all I can smell is the mold from my dishes#which literally had fucking maggots in it last time I looked at them#I think ​there’s black mold in my basement that I can’t clean and my fridge is going to mold soon because my water pitcher leaked#if I’d known when I was a kid that all those times where things just seemed to magically work out would lead to my life falling apart#I would have shut my goddamn mouth about getting a B in physics and dealt with it to prevent my life from becoming the shit show it is today
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cappurrccino · 2 months ago
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google, how do I not be so so so so so scared of taking new medications that I make my whole situation worse before I even pick them up from the pharmacy
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bywandandsword · 6 months ago
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One of the rudest things about lexapro withdrawals, at least in my case, is that even after you get the notification that your meds are ready to be picked up (finally, the angels are singing), you don't feel in a right state to even think about leaving the house, much less getting in your car and driving to the pharmacy and talking to the lady at the counter and drive all the way back home
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theha1r · 2 months ago
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my whales are super fucking salty & this is a travesty & i am so upset :/
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