#been listening to witch soundtrack on loop

[goremet-chef]

you startled the witch!

[humanpurposes]

@aspen-carter started this and I wanna do it too :)

Get to know the writer.

Pen name(s): Now realising I don't really have one? I'm lolololola on ao3 but that's only because i was listening to the song by The Kinks.

Age: 21

College/university degree(s): 1 month from finishing my undergrad in Politics and IR with History.

Favorite book growing up: Anything by Roald Dahl but my favourites were Matilda and The Witches, and the Narnia books by CS Lewis.

First “grown-up” book you remember reading: The White Queen by Phillipa Gregory.

Favorite novel(s): The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald, The Kind Worth Killing by Peter Swanson and Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel.

Favorite published writer(s): Neil Gaiman, Jane Austen and Hilary Mantel.

Favorite book(s) of poetry: Not a big poetry fan but I do love a bit of John Keats.

Favorite "children's book"(s): The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien.

Favorite movie/show adaptation(s): The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Dracula (1992) and Wolf Hall (2015).

What do you listen to when you write? Maestro Djawadi ofc, HotD and GoT soundtracks, actually there's this edit on Youtube of a few different Targaryen themes, would highly recommend that. I also like to make my own playlists for different works or characters, which usually feature a lot of Hozier, Ethel Cain and Lana Del Rey. But also, I get distracted really easily so if I’m trying to concentrate just silence, or the intro of Genesis by Grimes slowed on a 20 min loop (that’s not a joke).

What do you drink when you write? Nothing in particular, water, iced coffee, iced tea, anything with lots of ice apparently. Actually I chew gum a lot when I write.

Your favorite piece that you've ever written: I’m far from a magnum opus but I love the first chapter of Karma is a God and Chapter 3 of Our Souls are Bound (which is a huge shame because I’ve almost abandoned that fic whoops). And My Heart Belongs to Daddy has been so fun to work on.

Favorite fanfiction you've read recently: Currently in love with Now I'm Covered in You by @inthedayswhenlandswerefew, The Seamstress and the Sailor by @assortedseaglass, Heaven Knows (I'm not getting over you) by @lightningandfireinmybones and anything by @squirmhoney.

no pressure tags: @blackdreamspeaks @babygirlyofthevale @xfancyuu @eyelinerandcigarettes @bouncehousedemons and anyone who wants to do it too! tag me i'm nosy af

[consulting-ghosts]

I listened to half of soundtrack from season two, on my way to work, and it's brilliant, but then I ended up listening to "The End?" on a loop anyway. 😭😭 I've been waiting for that one the most.

Something I wanted to point out, that I didn't realized before, about the titles them. I love how they blended together a more classical Azi's version with Crowley's witch includes classical guitar and is more modern It's a small but a nice touch, that they're on the same side now and closer than ever.

[brigadeinvader]

[tagged by @uselessstardust​]

list 5 songs you listen to and tag 10 people except i never know who to tag in these so this is where this particular chain ends lmao

i’ve got no spotify so i just used my youtube history for this which i just realized is arguably worse

1. i’ve been delayed by tas 1000. i watched the 2(ish) hr cardjitsu lore video while working and now nostalgia hounds me

2. little dark age by mgmt because someone sang it to me in a dream and i’ve never been the same since

3. sakuzyo’s arcadia resurrection album. i inject energy into my body through music because sleeping sure does not. not sure if this counts as ‘a song’ but it’s there in my youtube history

4. the 10 hr loop video of coconut mall bc i’m on a mission to associate each book i read with a silly song. sorry spy x family and witch hat atelier you’re now coconut mall in my head forever

5. the 1 hr long full yume nikki soundtrack video. yes. also unsure if this counts as a song but whatever

[the-chosen-half-of-one]

Thanks @bethnaberrie64 ! It’s been a while since I’ve done a tag!

1. Three ships: I don’t actually ship things very often or very heavily and the one ship that does have me currently melting my brain I’m much too embarrassed to post. But otherwise we’ll go with a classic Bangel, my mind is blanking on all others aah. Was quite partial to Tuckerreed in Enterprise a few years back. Edit: Book ships! I forgot books! Locklyle, Locklyle, Locklyle!

2. First ship ever: might’ve technically been Clintasha or Fitzsimmons? That’s like 9-10 yrs ago. First time I really heard the term “shipping” from a friend and was like yeah, sure I guess I ship them. But I abandoned AOS at s3 😭

3. Currently listening: I’m actually in between music interests at the moment, used to be really into Green Day but it’s been a while and the only thing I have downloaded atm is the Sims 2 college rock soundtrack and whatever random song gets stuck in my head on loop. (Devil Town by Cave Town holds that position right now because I was looking at sims 2 Strangetown playlists and it was on multiple). Also I’ll listen to the occasional This Paranormal Life Podcast while drawing.

4. Last Movie: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

5. Currently Reading: Cosmos by Carl Sagan (I enjoy his writing style, it’s so full of passion), Seven Seasons of Buffy (Book of essays by various famous authors, some of which should not be allowed to write about Buffy cause they’re WRONG), and I’m finishing up the Rockton Files series by Kelley Armstrong (one of my favourite authors).

6. Currently Watching: Too many things to list honestly, I keep a note in my phone so even I don’t forget, there’s like a million things I’m in the middle of 😭Most prominently lately though Community, still haven’t finished s5 of Haven, and I’m rewatching the 1996 Sabrina the Teenage Witch, though the main show I’m watching that’s melting my brain such as with the unnamed ship that’s melting my brain from it shall stay redacted.

Currently Consuming: Good old water I guess.

Currently Craving: Kinder chocolate 🍫

Tagging if you’d like @justasmisunderstoodasloki, @urbanlegends, @drawntothedarkside, @friendzonefrog, @merelyafigment, @defectivegembrain, @little-randomness

tagged by @anyachristinaemmanuellajenkins - tag 9 people you want to get to know better

1. three ships: spuffy obviously (i am fresh off tabula rasa in the rewatch), dair, annnddd sam/fred from crashing 2016 i watched that in 2 days 2 weeks ago but i'm still thinking about them every day

2. first ship ever: i'm sure i shipped things minorly before this but my first big ship was r/hr. yep.

3. currently listening: a lot of metric and arctic monkeys and fall out boy because that's my btvs s6 soundtrack. also according to last.fm more honeyhoney than usual.

4. last movie: i'm actually not sure i've seen any movies since new year's, when we watched buffy movie, glass onion, and die hard. so...die hard?

5. currently reading: nothing except fic at the moment but i'm hoping to get to my cheesemaking book soon!

6. currently watching: btvs/ats rewatch, not much else going on since we finished the new season of letterkenny.

7. currently consuming: nothing atm but i'm thinking about making some tea

8. currently craving: the weekend even though i just started back lmao

tagging: @doggirlbuffysummers @microsuedemouse @ladytharen @bethnaberrie64 @warrenworthington3 @extraordinaryseven @wolfbabedeluxe @urbanlegends @kendallroysweightedblanket

[1kook]

viki & hickeys

the 8th installment to netflix & chill :~)

SUMMARY Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.  WARNINGS a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries MISC there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide  RATING m (18+) WC 16.3k !!!! ik its fckin LOOOONG

NOTES (!) in true Viki fashion, here’s an nc fic where there’s like 3 different plot lines n a hot male antagonist <3 this series started off as just me wanting to write smut n it still is! now i just like to infuse different levels of angst into it as well </3 as always, lemme know what u think!! i proofread it twice but one of those times had been at 4 am so if u see a typo no u didn't. also here’s a gif  of jungkook crying during a dolly parton performances and here’s another gif of jungkook crying bc it’s scary how pretty he looks

Being evil and hot does not come for free. As you’ve long since learned in the past twenty-three years of your life, you truly can’t have it all. 

There is always some deliberating character flaw the universe must bestow upon you in order to level you out, make you fall onto the same plane as all the other mortals. Everyone has one, no matter how small or insignificant. Doyeon’s is that she doesn’t know how to work a straightening iron. Namjoon's is that he can’t tell the difference between water and liquor. Jungkook, despite all his tech-y nerdiness, doesn’t know how to do his own taxes. And yours? You don’t know shit about romcoms. 

Your knowledge on the romantic genre is what leads to this predicament now, the ring on your finger heavy as Doyeon regards you with what is perhaps the most unimpressed look known to mankind. “This is a promise ring,” she says bluntly, the bustling sounds of the coffee shop around you the soundtrack to your sudden realization. 

“No,” you deny, even though you know she’s right. “It’s an engagement ring.”

Doyeon rolls her eyes. “Babe,” she starts slowly, talks to you like you’re a dorky high schooler with her first boyfriend, “did he ask you to marry him?”

The truth is, the timing had been weird. It had been a few days after you’d rocked Jungkook’s world so you understand if he felt the sudden need to pop the question. But you were also sick as fuck that day, had only vaguely remembered the events because you were too busy with the snot up your nose and the raging fever you were battling. Had Jungkook asked you to marry him? 

You’re not so sure. 

It’s been a little over a month since then, and sure his lack of proactive wedding planning was a little weird, but you had always assumed Jungkook was one of those people who liked long engagements. Liked to drag out the last few months as a bachelor. Maybe he was waiting until you were both financially stable or something, who knows. 

Doyeon had been on some soul-searching journey around the country, so she hadn't been home for a while, had only heard of the ring through a two-second snapchat. This is the first time she’s seeing you and it in person; you can tell by the expression on her face that she’s rightfully disappointed. 

“Have you no shame, woman?” she tuts, arms crossed over her chest. “You have me parading around the world bragging about your engagement— just for this?”

You knock your forehead against the table, know it’s dirty and icky, but you deserve it. “Listen,” you huff. “I’ve only seen The Notebook, like, once.”

She scoffs. “I can tell. This is so embarrassing, don’t tell me you’ve brought it up to him?”

At her words you startle, nearly send the drinks flying across the floor. “No!” you shout, mindlessly reaching to twist the ring around your finger. It’s become a habit these past few weeks, a comfort to feel it around you. Granted, the feeling is a little muted now. “Of course he’d get me a promise ring,” you grumble, gaze flickering down to the silver band on your ring finger. “Jungkook loves all that cheesy corny stuff.” He really did. 

You’ve had enough of Doyeon’s disappointment, decide this coffee date has brought you enough three am anxiety material for the next year and a half. You conclude your date by taking a walk around town, arms locked together as you laugh at people who pass by because you’re both a little mean. 

“Maybe it’s for the best,” she says, and you agree. Well, a promise ring certainly meant something. It was, essentially, a pre-engagement ring. And the engagement ring that followed was a pre-wedding ring. And a wedding ring was, well, a wedding ring. Your heartbeat thunders at the thought. “You’re busy right now anyway,” she points out, snapping you out of your bumbling thoughts. “Aren’t you getting promoted at work soon?” 

Oh, you certainly were getting promoted at work. After many grueling months of hard work and dedication, the fruits of your labor were finally being recognized. Gone were the days of useless desk work, intern-like errands that barely required the use of any higher-order brain functions. You had worked hard these past few months, proved your worth over and over again, until you were here. Getting promoted into a new branch at your company— one where your talents were actually needed. And truth be told, there was one man to thank for that. 

Your friend and superior, Kim Seokjin. 

Seokjin is a great boss. In fact, you could argue he’s the best in the entire world and that, if it wasn’t for him, you would have quit this job that first month you started. But you had him to push you along, friendly smiles and encouragements that kept you going until this point, where you’re being promoted up into a branch where your degree finally matters. And it was all thanks to him! What Kim Namjoon was to Jungkook, Kim Seokjin was to you. 

So what if he cheated on his wife and flirted with the secretaries— Seokjin was practically a god in your eyes. 

And what Seokjin did in his free time was frankly none of your business anyway. You were colleagues at work, got along fairly well, but outside of work you were practically strangers. He was your beloved work colleague, someone Jungkook teased you about endlessly despite never having met him, and you were immensely thankful for him. “Should I be scared he’ll steal you from me?” Jungkook had joked one night, standing behind you as you scrolled through your company profile page. “He is a little handsome.”

You had pinched his side, smiling at his feigned concern when he pressed his lips to your temple. “You’re right,” you had joked back, “he is sooo cool.” And Jungkook had bitten you on the shoulder, laughed that pretty laugh when you yelped in surprise. 

Anyway, Kim Seokjin was a god, Jungkook was on his way to maybe, hopefully, one day, being your husband, and all was well. 

To honor this moment in time, you decide to swing by Jungkook’s place after your date with Doyeon, finding him lazily sprawled across his living room couch while What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim? plays on the Jumbotron. He’s in between projects right now, so he’s spent most of his time relaxing and catching up on all his favorite shows. 

Which brings you back to that deliberating character flaw of yours: no knowledge of the romantic genre to utilize in your everyday life. Your love language has always been blunt words, teasing jabs, the raw and unfiltered type of love. Emotions? Impossible to figure out. You’ve gotten pretty far in life reading verbal and physical cues; with Jungkook, you always know he’s upset when he does the little tongue-against-cheek thing, and it has saved you from many potential arguments. 

On the other hand, it is so obvious what Jungkook’s love language is when he spends fifty percent of his time on Viki, home to some of the most cheesy kdramas in existence. Most guys spend their weekends watching sports or dramatic action movies, but here was Jungkook. Watching some guy try to court his secretary. 

(Okay, he does watch sports and action movies too, but that’s not the point!)

“Hello, sweet boy,” you greet, plopping down beside him. Jungkook smiles back softly. He’s serving absolute pre-pre-husband deliciousness right now, cute glasses, fluffy curls, plaid bottoms that make him look so comfy. God, you were going to suck his dick tonight. 

Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, tastes like the chocolate cake you specifically told him not to eat without you. He blindsides you before you can scold him, pulls you onto his lap where the swell of his cock nudges against your thigh. Oh, you were definitely going to suck his dick and ride him well into the sunrise. 

“What’s my pretty girl doing here tonight?” he asks, cutely looping his fingers through yours. “Thought you were with the Wicked Witch of the West today?”

You roll your eyes, reposition yourself in a laughable attempt at pretending like you’re actually interested in the show. “We just went out for lunch,” you explain, watching the hot lead saunter across the screen. Juicy ass, but nothing compared to Jungkook’s. 

There’s a question lingering on the tip of your tongue, Doyeon’s explanations mixed with your worries, and you hold it for exactly ten seconds before you’re turning to face him head on, eyes going a little crossed from how close he is. “Hey,” you say bluntly. “Is this a promise ring?” you ask, wiggle your finger in his face. 

Jungkook blinks, once, twice, and then his face shoots up in flames. “Maybe,” he mumbles, lips pursed as he tries to avoid your gaze. He was adorable. You laugh, endeared by the red flush that crawls over his cute little cheeks and up his ears. Unable to stop yourself, you squeeze said cheeks between your hands, cooing at the annoyed expression that consumes him soon afterwards.  

“Aw, you want to marry me,” you tease, but it’s secretly a leading question for him to confess that yes, he does want to marry you. For as hot and confident as you are, you too are plagued with doubts. Doubts that can only be smoothed over by hearing it straight from Jungkook’s mouth. 

He rolls his eyes, trying to break free from your hold. “We’ve talked about this,” he murmurs, all embarrassed. But like always, Jungkook knows exactly what you want so he doesn’t deny it, and that’s good enough for you. He’s too flustered to look you in the eye now, childishly craning his head away from you when you try to force him into a staring contest. “Can I finish my show?” he whines, slightly not as hard now that you’ve reduced him into a shy, bumbling mess. It was a nice change of pace from his usual, composed self. 

But you relent, sliding off his lap to sit against his side, classic octopus hug around his waist. The episode is in full swing, not that you know anything about it. Like you said, romantic shows and movies were the least of your concerns. Jungkook, however, eats this type of shit up. “He still trying to fuck her?” you ask, not the least bit interested, but if you’re planning on sucking his dick tonight you have to listen to a few minutes of him rambling first. 

Jungkook sighs. “Yeah,” he says, “I don’t get it.” You hum, trail your hand over his abdomen teasingly. He feels so warm and lean beneath your palm, you were getting hot just thinking about it. “Why would anyone agree to dating their boss?”

You know that Jungkook’s boss is some old Facebook fart, pioneer of something on the site that neither of you two care about. So it makes sense that such a notion disturbs him. You shrug anyway. “Everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss,” you offer. “It’s like, the power dynamic, I guess.”

His frown deepens. “Would you?” Your boss isn’t exactly an old fart; the reason Kim Seokjin was such a renowned playboy is because, well, he had the looks to pull it off. Still, he had become a sort of respectable figure to you and the idea of sleeping with him doesn’t really sound appealing as much as it would to any other random bachelorette, which you admittedly were not. You glance at the screen, where Park Seojoon swaggers around in those tight slacks and fitted button-ups. 

“Hm,” you ponder, “maybe.” 

Jungkook laughs. “You’re supposed to say no, you idiot,” he says, knocks his forehead against yours softly. You can’t help but chuckle too, enamored with the happy glint in his eyes and the way his smile eats up his features. 

Oh, you loved this man. 

Because he was so sweet and good on Christmas, you let Jungkook make the plans for Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s his favorite holiday (“Why? Well, because it’s a day all about you, and me, and us,” he had sighed dreamily in the bathtub one night, hair adorably pushed back to showcase that handsome face of his. Bubbles clung to his chest, had made you dizzy with every breath he took.), so it’s only right that he gets to make the itinerary for the day, fill it with all his favorite things. After all, cheesy romantic stuff like this was right up his lane. 

He reserves a spot at the fanciest restaurant in the city, the one that has a months long waiting list. It sounds perfect, and the closer it gets to February 13th, the more excited you become. You say 13th because the 14th is a Sunday, and as much as you would love to get on your knees and praise Jungkook’s body until the wee hours of the next day, you have work. So Sunday is off the table. And it’s better this way, you tell yourself. Everywhere would have been packed that day anyway. 

It seems like everywhere you go, the entire world is gearing up for the holiday; from the fast food drive-thru to your favorite lingerie shop, there’s Valentine’s Day specials everywhere you look. Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air. 

But what good is a lovey-dovey holiday without your own lovey dove himself? 

One glance out your window and your knees feel weak, because there he is. Dressed in a loose satin button up, shoulders broad, chest defined. He’s got on these fitted dress pants that accentuate his tiny waist too, thick thighs bulging beneath the fabric. There’s a coat hugging his frame, something to shield him from the cold while he waits out on the curb, does this cute little shivering dance in an attempt to warm up his muscles. Your heart feels like it’ll explode at the sight, and you can practically hear the corny, overused romantic song playing in the background of your thoughts, so you hurriedly distract yourself by slipping tonight’s dress on. 

It’s cold outside, but the sight of Jungkook makes you feel warm and fuzzy everywhere. He’s so hot it makes you dizzy, and the sap knows it when he meets you on the sidewalk. Instinctively, his hand reaches out to tangle with yours, the other slipping around your waist. “Hi, gorgeous,” he greets playfully, kissing your knuckles. His hair has grown out a little, curls up cutely when he lets it air dry and tickles your skin when he gets too close. “Lookin’ like Secretary Kim.” 

“Oh? So does that make you my hot boss?” you tease as you make your way to the car. 

As always, he opens the door for you first, flashes you this dorky little wink as he rounds the front of the car. “If it means you’ll sleep with me tonight, then sure,” he says, buckling himself in. You roll your eyes at his claim. You don’t get to see the proud little smile on his face; by the time you’ve composed yourself, he’s already pulling off in the direction of the restaurant. 

It’s a classy thing, a restaurant and bar in some insanely tall skyscraper. Of course your seats are right beside one of the huge floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the beautiful, glittering cityscape. “Fancy,” you murmur as you sit down, catching a glimpse of the eye roll Jungkook gives you. 

“You say that about any place that serves wine,” he chuckles, reaching for the bottle on the table to pour you a glass. 

The wine tastes like perfection, aged for the perfect amount of time. Whatever that was. You don’t really know, but it tastes amazing! Still, amazement aside, you manage a scoff. “I didn’t say that about your house on our first date,” you huff anyway, throwing him a playful glare over the rim of your glass. 

Jungkook laughs, full and real this time. It’s a little too loud for the classy establishment you find yourselves in, drowns out the jazz music for a second. “That’s because it was a house,” he says, wearing that big, shiny smile you adore, “and we were watching Transformers.” An amazing date, the mere memory of it makes your toes curl. He had been so dreamy— nearly two years ago now! —and had retained that aura up to the present day. You don’t think you’ve ever been so in love with anyone or anything in this world before, as cheesy as it was to admit. 

As if sensing your sudden wandering thoughts, Jungkook nudges your ankle under the table. “Hey,” he says so softly you could melt; his voice was so silky and sweet. “Everything okay?” he asks. 

A sigh, chin in your palm. You had to have been abducted by aliens or something— there was no way this was your life, this disgustingly romantic date with this disgustingly handsome man. An episode of Black Mirror maybe? One where you get forced to live in a romantic Viki drama with the man you love, every single day for the rest of your life? Maybe. 

Dramatics aside, you could practically feel that sticky sweet, sentimental monster begging to crawl to the surface, unleash the entire Shakespearean collection of lovesick sonnets on your unsuspecting boyfriend in the middle of this restaurant. But the weird ones, were you accidentally dedicate an entire six lines to the bulge of Jungkook’s thighs in his workout pants or the heart-shaped mole on his shoulder. Those kind. Before that can happen, you settle on an equally as gentle, “I love you,” murmured for only him to hear. 

Across the table, Jungkook smiles. One of those thin ones when he’s trying to keep his composure but is actually quite flustered, his subtle bunny teeth nibbling at his lower lip. “Thanks,” he responds, still trying to play it cool, but then he almost knocks his glass down and you’re reminded just how perfect he was, flaws and all. “Me too.”

You jab the pointed tip of your stiletto against his shin. “Say it back,” you warn and he laughs. 

“I love you,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Straight out of a romantic drama, like the ones on Viki that require a minimum of four different story arcs just to get to this point. But with Jungkook, it takes a few shy smiles and maybe a kiss. It has a scorching heat rising on your cheeks, one you ward away with a hurried sip of your drink while Jungkook reaches for your hand, thumb rubbing over your promise ring as if for good luck. 

That singular phrase makes your world pause, its axis stalling while you deal with the overwhelmingly soft and gooey feelings in your chest. Oh jeez, you had to rock his world tonight. It was only right. He deserved it for making you feel like this— this silly and ditzy, like a middle schooler with her crush. 

Anyway the food gets to your table after a millennia. Jungkook orders some fancy lobster dish, one that you're pretty sure costs more than the purse you brought along tonight (to be fair, you’re a cheap buyer), and still has the audacity to poke around at your plate too. He eats enough to feed a schoolhouse full of children who’ve just come off recess, practically devouring the table cloth before you stop him. And then he doesn’t let you see the bill; “baby, don’t worry about that when you’re with me,” he purrs, warm breath fanning against the skin on your neck, drunk off pure love and strawberry lemonade because he was driving tonight. The hostess is a blushing mess, fumbling for his change as Jungkook practically gropes your ass in plain sight.

You swear he’s spending too much time on that Viki streaming service, because then, as if the romantic dinner date wasn’t enough, he whisks you off to an even more romantic walk along the river. 

If there was ever a world record for “Number of Times you can Make your Girlfriend Swoon,” you’re positive Jungkook had broken it in the span of a few hours. You feel so light-headed and in love by the time you reach the river. 

“You know,” you tell him as you walk, the serene sounds of the flowing water beside you the soundtrack to your date. Jungkook swings your joined hands between the two of you. It’s chilly but you’re so full and happy that you don’t let it bother you. “I was gonna throw wine at you when we first met.”

He cackles, that loud, airy sound again that he only lets you hear, with his head thrown back. “What?” he gasps, smiley and pretty, your pretty boy. “And why were you going to do that?”

You huff, feeling slightly embarrassed now to admit such a thing. But aside from Doyeon, no one else has ever heard this classified tale. And well, you’re feeling extra emotional tonight. An abundance of emotions in one night usually ended with you crying like a little bitch at some point or another, so you’re trying to push that off for later. “Because,” you sigh, squeezing his fingers, your lone promise ring versus his assortment of fashionable rings. “You sounded like an absolute fuck boy when you first texted me!” 

Jungkook scoffs, playfully scandalized. “Me?” he squawks, pausing to stand in front of you with wide eyes and a ridiculously huge smile, the kind that has his brows raised high, lips going thin, practically displaying every tooth in his mouth from how wide it is. 

“Jungkook,” you say calmly, shoving one finger against his chest. “You asked me to Netflix & chill for our first date.” 

He groans, using your entwined hands to pull you into his arms for a suffocating hug. “I already told you,” he laughs, patting the back of your head while you get in a few lighthearted punches against his sides. “I didn’t know what it meant.” 

“Whatever, you sleaze,” you say anyway, eventually melting into his hands. “Bet you tell all the girls that.” Jungkook makes another scandalized noise, but settles when you wrap your hands around him. He smells so good and familiar, comforting even. Like home and safety, a refuge for your heart. When you’re this close, you can hear the light beating of it beneath your ear, a steady rhythm that has you closing your eyes when he begins humming your favorite song. 

He gets about two verses in when your phone suddenly goes off. 

Everything in your body says to ignore it, to continue basking in the comfort of your boyfriend’s embrace and this absolutely perfect moment. But it’s the stupid ringtone you set for all your work peers when you first loaded the entire company contact list onto your phone, so the sound alone lets you know it’s a work-related call. And for work to be calling you on a weekend was definitely not a good sign. 

“Give me a sec,” you tell Jungkook, pulling away from his arms. He frowns but lets you go, staying close as you dig through your purse for the offending device. 

It’s Kim Seokjin calling at this peculiar hour, a fact that confuses the hell out of you. Jungkook’s bouncing on his heels in an attempt to fight off the chill, giving you his beautiful side profile as he glances down the winding sidewalk that follows the river, and then at his watch. His nose is a cute red color that you want to kiss so bad. But work calls, so you tighten up and let that dream go for now. You swipe your thumb across the screen. 

“Hello, Mr. Kim,” you greet, trying to keep the confusion out of your voice. “How can I help—“

“__, my love,” he beams through the phone, so fucking loud it has Jungkook glancing over curiously. You give him a tight-lipped smile, one he returns as he shuffles closer, trying to steal your warmth like a penguin. You let him snuggle close before turning back to the droning voice of your superior on the line. 

“Hello,” you repeat again, slowly. Jungkook takes your free hand in his; when he squeezes, the band of your promise ring digs into your skin just the slightest. “Was something the matter?” 

Seokjin laughs, loud and clear. There’s a lot of other noises filtering in through his line. Briefly, you remember that there had been some work-related party for the higher ups tonight so you write it off as that. “Does there need to be a problem for me to call you, love?” 

You falter. Beside you, Jungkook’s brows furrow together, his devilishly handsome features even more pronounced. He’s obviously heard the other man on the line. “Um,” you flounder for a second, “well, usually yes.” 

Without missing a beat, Seokjin carries on with a playful tut that you’re almost certain has him lifting the receiver up to his mouth, because it’s so goddamn loud it has you flinching away from your own device. “My __,” he says, sweet and… slurred? 

He’s never used this tone of voice on you, only on other women at the office. Something about his broken marriage and needing to heal a wound, you don’t fucking know. You can’t even begin to truly understand that logic, which is why you’ve always just ignored it. Still, in the last few months of knowing Seokjin, he has never made a pass at you. Until now, that is. And until now, you had kind of convinced yourself he saw you in a sisterly way. Which sure, was worse than being friendzoned. But this was your boss you were talking about. Whether you got sister-zoned or not by him was the least of your concerns. So what was going on? What had changed over the span of a few days that had him suddenly reaching out to you on a weekend? 

Beside you, Jungkook doesn’t look the slightest bit impressed, tongue prodding against his cheek as Seokjin rambles on the line. You wish you had lowered the volume before answering, but doing so now would appear suspicious, even you could admit that. “You’re amazing, you know that?” Seokjin praises. You nod, remember he can’t see you, and settle on a blunt thanks instead. Jin laughs. “You’re different from the rest,” he hums, voice soft and weirdly intimate. 

Jungkook’s frown deepens. “What does he want?” he murmurs, somehow managing to keep his voice calm as always. The deep furrow of his brows and the tongue-against-cheek motion he had done just a few seconds ago all indicate he’s annoyed, that much you can tell. 

You shrug, eyes wide as you hurry to get to the reason for the phone call. You’re almost certain it’s just Seokjin being drunk— many people drunkenly dial their friends and family to tell them how much they’re appreciated, this wasn’t anything weird! 

Is what you try to convince yourself, but then Seokjin’s voice is dropping an octave by your ear. “Did you get my gift?” he murmurs, voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of the event he’s at. 

“Huh?” you stammer, quite stupidly if you do say so yourself. Jungkook shifts closer, obviously trying to hear. A breeze ruffles his hair, his cologne wafting over you. “What?” 

A sigh over the line. “My gift, love,” Kim Seokjin says, loud and proud. Jungkook exhales, hard. “I had it sent to your house this evening. Something pretty for a pretty girl— don’t tell me the postman fucked that up,” he jokes and Jungkook huffs, practically breathing fire through his nose when he hears the words. 

You fidget. There had been no gift when Jungkook picked you up around sunset, not like you had expected anything to begin with. And aside from Jungkook and maybe your parents, there was no one else on this planet you wanted to receive a Valentine’s Day gift from anyway, especially not from your boss of all people. “Um,” you mumble, acutely aware of the way Jungkook’s face is nearly pressed to yours now in his effort to listen in on your phone call. “I— um, haven’t been home, Seokjin.”

Jungkook scoffs, spits out a particularly unimpressed, “Seokjin?” 

Said man doesn’t hear. “Oh, of course,” he says, almost sullenly. “I forgot you had that little boyfriend to entertain tonight.” 

It’s the breaking point for Jungkook, who leans back to glare at the phone with the heat of a thousand suns. You press it against your chest before he can hear anything else. “I’m sorry,” you rush out in a hurried whisper, eyes flickering over his face, trying to gauge the intensity of his emotions. “I think he’s drunk— he’s never said things to me like this before,” you stammer, feeling like you have to defend yourself for some reason. “I’ll- I’ll take care of it, okay?” No answer, just an aggravated shake of his head, like he’s trying to calm himself down. “Jungkook?” you say, can feel the panic begin to lace your voice when his eyes flutter shut. 

He calms your worries with a gentle head butt that has you gasping in surprise, one hard exhale fanning over you. “Okay,” he says, teeth clenched. “I’m gonna go sit.” And then he stiffly walks over to one of the many benches lining the pathway. He sits, just like he had said he would, and glares down at his hands instead. 

The sight makes you anxious, unsure of how to diffuse the situation because, like you’ve said many times before, dealing with emotions— especially someone else’s emotions —was hard. Your eyes refuse to leave his figure as you draw the phone back up to your ear again. “Hello?” you call, voice trembling when Jungkook finally looks your way. The soft look he had given you all night is nowhere to be found, replaced with this rather unreadable expression. Something between annoyance and confusion if you had to guess. You don’t know, and the fact you don’t know makes you panic. Your chest feels tight when Seokjin begins speaking again. 

“You know,” he says, “you’re quite something, __. Strong, confident. Beautiful.” Had you been anyone else, you might have been flattered by Kim Seokjin’s remarks, maybe would have swooned. He was, objectively speaking, a handsome man with a hefty bank account. 

But if that was the criteria for a man to make you swoon, then the man on the bench in front of you checked all the same boxes three times over. The man who’s brows draw closer and closer together the longer you linger on the phone. Jungkook’s foot does one agonizing tap against the concrete and you find yourself stammering into the phone. “I think you’re drunk, Jin.”

A scoff. “I am,” he agrees, and doesn't even bother to hide it. “But you remind me of her, you know that? I like that.”

It’s like he knows something is going on on the line, because Jungkook visibly bristles when you sidestep in surprise. What was going on, your brain screams. Having your superior compare you to his infidel wife was definitely not something you saw coming tonight. “Uh, okay?” you say, “listen, Seokjin— Mr. Kim, I’m... I have a boyfriend. And I really lov—“

He cuts you off. Jungkook bristles at the sudden stop of your sentence. “Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin drawls, and you can feel the sheer terror of accidentally jeopardizing your relationship with Jungkook step aside for the briefest moment to allow some annoyance to seep through. Annoyed with Seokjin and his audacity, his tone, his voice. “Mrs. Kim used to say that about me,” he chuckles humorlessly, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” A long pause. You’re unsure of how to respond. “It’s not real,” Seokjin says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “Love, that is.”

You clench your jaw, gathering your thoughts to respond when Seokjin beats you to it. “But you know what, love?” You don’t respond. Seokjin pushes on anyway. “Someone’s gonna cheat sooner or later— why not beat him to it?” 

Your body reacts first, a startled gasp inhaled through your lips at his disrespectful preposition. Your phone slips out of your grasp. It bounces twice, lands on the ledge that gives way to the river, and you almost kick it in when Jungkook comes up behind you. “Hey, hey,” he says sternly, tugging you away from the phone you almost killed. “What’s wrong— what did he say?”

You exhale, face warm from the discomfort sitting heavy in your chest. “Nothing,” you huff, mind slightly foggy as you try to process that awkward conversation. “It’s— it was stupid,” you spit, pressing the heels of your palms against your temples, the raging anger and confusion making your head pound now. 

You had always known Kim Seokjin wasn’t the most faithful man, that the infidelity ran both ways in his relationship. But you had never imagined he would ever compare you to her, his cheating wife, in an attempt to win you over. Furthermore, you’re downright disturbed by the fact he would even try to hit on you after all the mentoring he’d given you, all the polite smiles he’d flashed you, all the praise you had bestowed upon him to Jungkook. 

Jungkook, whose jaw twitches as his hands graze your forearms. When you look at him again, you feel an immense wave of remorse wash over you at the way his own irritation is clouded by his worry for you. He had been wronged as well— disrespected just like you —but here he was, pushing his own emotions aside for your sake. He doesn’t want to see you upset. He was so good at dealing with your emotions, knew just what to do when things became too much. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, lips pursed together. “I don’t know why— he’s never— I wouldn’t do that,” you settle on, voice wobbling when Jungkook’s jaw clenches. “Jungkook,” you frown, reaching for his hands, “I wouldn’t—“ 

He shushes you with another one of those gentle forehead bumps. “Calm down,” he says, voice deeper than usual. “I know you wouldn’t.” 

Weirdly, it feels like you’ve committed a grave sin against your boyfriend. A crime. “I’m sorry,” you blubber anyway, heart thundering in your chest. “That was horrible,” you huff, desperately blinking away the stinging sensation behind your eyes. “You didn’t deserve to hear that.”

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook says, so soft and comforting; stable. You want his composure, his ability to process and understand things so quickly— his maturity. Sure he had been put off by Seokjin, but he had processed it all so quickly; adapted to the situation and stepped in to save you. Meanwhile, you nearly committed cellular murder because you couldn’t handle yourself. “He’s a weirdo,” he says, for both your sakes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.” 

Still, you sniffle. “I’m sorry,” you say again, the heavy feeling in your chest lightening just a little bit when he pulls you into his arms. 

“Crybaby,” he teases softly, a kiss on the crown of your head. You pinch his side. “Second phone you broke in a year.”

The mood for the riverwalk is off after that, and you only walk a few more meters before Jungkook decides it’s enough. “We can still enjoy ourselves at home,” he reassures you, and the way he tries to salvage that soft, fuzzy feeling from before is admirable. So Jungkook takes you home, holds your hand the whole drive back to your place, like he knows you’re still fragile from that extremely uncomfortable interaction, need him to hold you together. Jungkook’s emotional stability guards you like a shield, covers you in a wave of comfort as you calm down. You tell him about Seokjin’s preposition and he bristles. “Prick,” he murmurs beneath his breath, grip tightening just the tiniest bit. Your ring pinches against your skin a little painfully, but you say nothing. 

There’s a box of flowers on your doorstep when you arrive, one that makes Jungkook pause at the sight. “Wonderful,” he drones, picking it up for you as you unlock the front door. It gets left on the coffee table, practically mocking the two of you as you remove your shoes and coats. “That’s your favorite flower,” Jungkook notes. 

You glance at the expensive bouquet. “It is.” 

Jungkook drops down onto your couch, eyes flickering to the meticulous arrangement in front of him. “You told him?” Not really. But back when you had thought Jungkook and you were engaged (read: last week), you had spent days looking at different floral shops that specialized in this flower, frequently leaving the tab open on your work computer. Seokjin must have seen it then. At your extended silence, Jungkook says, “nice.”

You frown, setting your heels on the shoe rack. “Baby, I didn’t,” you tell him softly, reaching for the zip on the back of your dress. It comes down, and after clearing your hips, it falls to the floor in a dark heap you pick up quickly. It leaves you scantily clad in a black lingerie set. Meanwhile, Jungkook drops his head back, glaring at your ceiling. Tentatively, you step over to him, toying with the fabric of your dress in your hands. “You said it was okay.”

“I know,” he sighs, an unexpected confession from him that makes you pause. Despite all you’ve been through, he still rarely highlighted situations that upset him. “It’s just,” he says, turning his head to look at your form again, eyes not drinking you in like you hoped he would. “It’s scary.”

The couch cushion dips beneath your weight when you settle beside him. “What is?”

Jungkook shrugs, avoiding your question by reaching for the TV remote on the coffee table, right beside the box of flowers Seokjin had sent. He opens up the Viki app in a flash— the one linked to his account —and has even loaded up the next episode of Secretary Kim when you question him again. “What’s scary, Jungkook?” you repeat. 

On screen, there’s a beautiful scene on a bridge, the two leads happily conversing. It’s serene, something neither you nor Jungkook feel at the moment. 

Eventually, he says, “you could leave.”

You pause. “What do you mean?” Leave? Where on earth would you leave to when this was your home? He doesn’t meet your gaze. 

Another scene passes by on screen, some cheesy line and an even cheesier promise. Jungkook’s foot taps against the floor, the sound dull against the plush rug beneath you. It’s a nervous tick you’ve only seen him do at the height of truly stressful situations. Weird because just half an hour before you had dubbed him as the epitome of calm and collected at the river. 

“I thought he was cool before.” 

He did. But the word ‘cool’ didn’t always have the same meaning for Jungkook as it did for you. 

In the past, Jungkook had frequently joked about having to meet Kim Seokjin and thank him for all the help he’s given you at work. After all, up until now, you had only ever had good things to say about the man, raving about his cool demeanor and respectable work ethics. Now, the memories paired with the conversation from earlier leave a bad taste in your mouth. 

You’re a little confused with Jungkook right now; part of you had convinced yourself that whatever happened on the phone earlier with Seokjin was put behind you, marked off as an anomaly in the evening. After all, Jungkook himself had said it was okay. Park Seojoon appears on screen, and you can’t help but glare at the character, residue emotions from the river pushed off onto this innocent actor. 

Still, Jungkook surprises you. “It’s just that—“ he sighs. And then, “what if you leave?” 

You blink, eyes trained on his side profile and the way he’s nervously chewing through his bottom lip until it tints a red shade, gives way to sensitive skin when he bites too hard. “Why would I leave?” 

He says nothing. On screen, Park Seojoon says something so cheesy and romantic that it would have otherwise made you cringe, made Jungkook soft. But he’s stiff as a board beside you instead. You almost think he’s going to disregard the entire conversation when he finally speaks again. “Well.” You perk up at the sound of his voice, overly aware of the way he’s started picking at the skin around his thumb again, another nasty habit you’ve been trying to help him get over. “He’s cool. Rich.”

“And so are you,” you offer, covering his hand with your own. 

Jungkook ignores you, releasing a long, shaky exhale. Somehow, he’s exuding a similar energy as before; discontentment mixed with understanding. Like he’s greatly conflicted but forcing himself to remain calm. Another trembling inhale, and then Jungkook quietly recites, “everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss.” 

You recoil just the slightest, brows pinched together at the absurd conclusion he’s drawn. “Baby, that was just a silly conversation,” you say slowly, slipping your hand into his. He squeezes so tight you’re afraid he’ll break your bones. “And we were joking—“

“I know!” he exclaims, enveloping your significantly smaller hand in both of his before bringing them up to his face, lips pressed against your knuckles. It’s not a kiss, more so a desperate need to feel you against him. Eyes wide, you can’t do anything but watch as that collected exterior slips away, revealing a whirlwind mess of emotions. It’s a rather unexpected show from Jungkook. “It was a joke. We were joking. But I’m—“ his jaw clenches. His voice is so tiny when he speaks again. “I get scared sometimes, __.” 

His emotional outburst renders you speechless, watching as he squeezes his eyes shut, jaw clenching, hands trembling. 

It’s a stark image change from the cool Jungkook that had comforted you at the river, had patted the back of your head when you had been so distraught. His chest heaves for air and you don’t know what to do; it’s always the other way around, him comforting you, that when it comes down to this you find yourself at a loss. It makes you feel like you don’t know enough about yourself or him or your relationship in general to help him, always so lost when things like this happen. 

Jungkook has never been good at expressing negative emotions, always preferring to bottle them up and only show you his very best side. Granted, he’s been getting better at letting go lately, has whispered his doubts to you in the dead of night after a particularly grueling project, an uncomfortable social meeting. But he always waits until you’re half asleep and in the dark to tell you how he feels, hushed worries that you barely remember the next morning. And by then, Jungkook’s moved on from them anyway, flashes you a pretty smile and purposefully guides you away from that conversation. You know he’s started keeping a journal recently, but aside from seeing the blanks pages when he’d first gotten, you don’t have a clue what happened afterwards. It’s probably hidden away somewhere, his feelings locked up in a cupboard or a box, the secrets it holds never to be spoken of aloud. 

He doesn’t like talking about his more personal problems, hoards them until you’re forced to intervene. Find him slumped over at his dining table with bags under his eyes, the skin on his lower lip bitten beyond belief. 

Rarely does he sit down and express himself like this, lays his heart out carefully for you to see. Had he not said so right now, you would have never known Jungkook struggled with such doubts about you and your relationship. 

(It makes your heart ache at the realization.) 

Jungkook always acts like everything is okay, always forces himself to hold it together for the sake of you and, quite frankly, everyone else. He’s there when Taehyung breaks up with his girlfriends, pats him on the back and lets him run through every video game he has on his PS5. He’s there for Namjoon when his thesis becomes too much, proofreads it even though he doesn’t understand a word just for the sake of giving his best friend another perspective. Hell, he had even been there for Doyeon when her new landlord had tried to overcharge her, had carried the bulk of your argument when you ran off to try and fight with the old man. 

(“He’s too nice sometimes,” she had murmured the next morning at her place. After the shouting match the night before, you had crashed with Doyeon on her new bed, your sweet boyfriend taking up her couch. Somehow, you and Jungkook had managed to knock a clean seventy-five bucks off her monthly bill. It wasn’t much, but for an apartment in the city it sure felt like a lot. 

You had hummed, patting the top of his head on the way to the kitchen. “He’s a good boy,” you had said, heart thrumming when he instinctively pushed closer to your hand, nuzzling into you even in his sleep. “He cares about everyone a lot. Worries to death about his friends.”

The state of their relationship was weird; they were always fighting about one thing or another, ‘eternal enemies’ as Doyeon liked to claim. 

But for the first time, she hadn’t denied they were, in fact, friends. Instead, she had quietly stood at the breakfast nook overlooking the living room with a somber look on her face that was completely unlike the Doyeon you knew. She didn’t respond with her usual backhanded compliments, didn’t even call him a gremlin either. 

“He even worries about you, Miss Wicked Witch of the West,” you had teased, reaching over to pull Jungkook’s shirt down where it had ridden up, exposing his cute belly button to the cold apartment. She had sipped at her mug of coffee, eyes foggy and distant. “It just takes him a while.” 

“He’s always cared about you though,” she had murmured then, and you had marked it off as her being half asleep. But Doyeon had given you this look, a look so profoundly wise, as if she was saying, “more than you’ll ever know.”) 

Most importantly, Jungkook is always there for you. He holds you in his arms, strokes your back comfortingly whenever something goes wrong. Listens to your concerns and offers you advice, learns new things for the sole purpose of helping you out. Lets you make stupid decisions and always saves you at the last minute. And you want to repay him for all that, want to look after Jungkook like he does for everyone else. But it’s hard, it’s so fucking hard, when he doesn’t let you in, when he holds his emotions at bay for the sake of protecting yours. When you don’t even know where to start sometimes. 

The beating of your heart is accompanied by a dramatic orchestral ensemble on screen, violins and flutes as the two lovers reconcile some issue with a kiss. Beside you, your own lover is one second away from falling apart. “Hey,” you say quietly, slipping your hand out of his to hesitantly place on his back instead. With your release, Jungkook uses his empty hands to drag over his face, hide himself from you. “I’m not going to leave you, Jungkook,” you try and comfort, “I love you.” 

He shakes his head, dark locks bouncing around. “I know, I know,” he sighs, but it doesn’t sound like he believes you. It sounds like he’s forcing himself into composure again, jaw flexing as he shakes his head. “But— what if—” another aggravated huff, his thighs jumping anxiously. “You’ll get bored.” Not a question, but a statement. 

“Of you?” you ask anyway. He nods. “I won’t.”

He sits up so suddenly you have to move away to avoid bumping into him. “You will,” he urges, finally looking at you, distress painted over every inch of his face. “That guy, that Seokjin, he sounds more interesting than me. He sounds cool and put together, like the world is his oyster and,” he rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes. “You talk about him sometimes and... and you call him a god, __,” he stresses, doesn’t leave room for you to object. “And I know you’re joking, but—“ a sharp inhale, and then, quietly, “everyone gets bored of me, __.” 

Your frown deepens. “But I won’t,” you argue, confident in your claim, shifting onto your knees beside him. Your dress is thrown over the armrest of the couch, and the draft in your apartment makes goosebumps rise on your bare flesh. “You’re not boring, Jungkook,” you tell him, voice softening when his features pinch up, nose wrinkling as he wards off the stinging behind his eyes. 

It’s teenage trauma. Jungkook had told you at least that much before, this crippling sense of loneliness and an inferiority complex that hindered him during an influential growth period of his life. It’s why he’s so quiet when he has so much to say, why he brings you along to every party he gets invited to; he’s never felt like he was enough by himself. 

Sometimes, it leaks into his confessions. “I don’t deserve you,” he says frequently, but some days you want to hot glue him to a chair and force him to listen to every reason why he does and always will deserve you or anyone for that matter. “You make me better,” he claims, but he does that all on his own, lights up the world with his smile alone. 

He’s gotten better, that much you’ve learned from Namjoon and Taehyung. And even you’ve noticed it on your own, watched as he animatedly talked with his friends and his coworkers, drew people naturally to him with his warm aura. 

Even still, there’s moments where he relapses. Moments like this. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs beside you, “I know I’m a handful—“

“You’re not,” you interrupt, cupping his soft cheek in your hand, turning him to face you. Jungkook leans into the touch, and your heart breaks in half when a tear escapes over his waterline, pretty eyes brimming with tears. “You’re not a handful, Jungkook,” you tell him, shuffling closer until you can press your forehead against his. The truth is, you don’t know how to comfort him, but this is how he’s always comforted you; it feels nice when he does it for you. “You’re just enough,” you say, voice soft because it feels like your precious boy is about to fall apart in your arms, his shallow breaths rivaling the volume of the television. “You’ve always been enough.” 

He sniffles, and another tear tickles the side of your thumb, catching the light. “I’m sorry,” he repeats anyway, a disbelieving chuckle tacked on at the end. 

“Don’t be,” you shush, pushing away a strand of hair when he leans closer. His frown is still prominent, pink lips red and soft under your thumb when you tap your finger against them. “You can tell me when things worry you, you know,” you inform him, heart swelling when his eyes fall shut and he leans into your touch. He’s so handsome, the cute little mole beneath his lip begging to be kissed. “I’ll always listen.”

Jungkook hums, breathing evening out. “I know you will,” he says. “But I like listening to your voice more, and I can’t do that when I’m talking.” 

You snort and Jungkook finally lets a tiny smile slip. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after your meltdown,” you mumble, kissing his cheek softly. 

Jungkook chuckles, real this time, and sniffles right afterwards. “I’ll flirt with you whenever I want.” And, because he’s just so full of surprises tonight, he sniffles once more before he’s unceremoniously tackling you back onto the couch. You squeal, the TV remote digging into your back painfully. It has the volume accidentally skyrocketing, startling the both of you with an ear-shattering orchestral piece at the height of some emotional scene. Jungkook scrambles to free the device and lower the volume before your eardrums burst. “I didn’t even know your TV could go that loud,” he says, and he’s speaking normally but the deafening violins are still reverberating in your head, making him sound quieter than he really is. 

“Come here,” you say instead, and he obeys, crawling into your arms, mouth hovering just over yours. “You feeling better?”

Jungkook nods, dark hair bouncing. “You make me better,” he tries, but after tonight’s realization, you respond to his corny words with a pinch against his doughy cheek instead. 

“Don’t say that,” you frown, toying with one of the earrings decorating his ear. The tip of his nose is flushed red, the exertion from crying catching up to him. His lashes are dark, probably feel so heavy with the residual tears that cling to them. 

Jungkook repositions himself, guides your legs around his waist. “Why not? It’s true.” He glances at your mouth. “You make my life better.”

“Wrong,” you say bluntly, brushing his hair back with your hands. “Your own perception and understanding of your experiences makes your life better. I just happen to be in it.” Jungkook looks the tiniest bit surprised at your suddenly logical argument. “Trust me, I saw it in a documentary the other day.” 

At that he laughs, full and loud, pecking your lips once with a sweet smile on his face. “Now I know you’re lying,” he grins, gently nudging his nose against yours. The drama on the TV is but a quiet hum compared to the pounding of your heart in your chest when he looks at you like that. “Because you don’t even like documentaries.” 

You kiss him softly, holding his hair back for him. He tastes a little bit like the chocolate cake he had at the restaurant and the lemonade he drank (he didn’t indulge in the sweet wine with you because he needed to drive). His lips mold perfectly against yours, and he sighs softly when he finally draws back. “But I like you,” you purr. 

Jungkook’s eyes darken, one heavy exhale fanning across the lower half of your face. You readjust the leg around his waist, pull him closer just the slightest bit. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after my meltdown,” he repeats, lips brushing against yours. You chuckle. “You don’t know what that means to me.” You can roughly guess, but that opportunity is taken away when Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, soft lips molding to yours. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, wastes no time slipping in when you open for him, hot and wet. 

Jungkook’s fingers are just as warm when he trails them up the back of your thigh, pulls you impossibly closer until the buckle on his belt is pressed flush against your mound. A tiny whimper escapes your lips, chest jumping just the slightest from the pressure. It makes Jungkook pull away with an easygoing grin, chocolate eyes half-lidded. “You okay?” he murmurs, breath a little shaky from the kiss. You nod, tangling your fingers behind his head and pulling him in close again. 

He evades your puckered lips, ducking down to press his own against your throat, right beneath your jaw. “Ugh,” you groan, digging your nails into his back through his satin shirt. “I wanted a kiss.”

Jungkook nips at your skin, this tiny gesture that couldn’t hurt even if he tried. “You always want a kiss,” he retorts softly, the quiet smack of his lips filling your ears as he bestows a series of smooches against your skin. And it’s so devastatingly tender how he handles you, like you’re made of glass and will break at a moment’s notice, like he wants to treasure your body for the rest of his—

Jungkook chomps down, hard, and you hiss. “Sit still,” he orders, soothing over the bite with one broad lick of his tongue. 

You whimper. “That hurt.” 

“And it’ll hurt even more if you keep moving,” he warns you, and before you can ask what that even means, he’s leaving another stinging bite just further down. It’s at the midway point of your neck, right in front, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat when he sucks a painful mark over it. “There,” he says, mostly to himself. “All mine.”

Your legs tighten around him, and you fight down the wave of heat that threatens to consume you when he places one final kiss over the second mark— the hickey. 

Jungkook doesn’t usually leave them. In fact, you can rarely recall a time where he had purposefully gone out of his way to mark you up like this. It was always accidental, always unplanned, because he knew how troublesome it was for you to cover them up for work the next morning. Work, where your coworkers and your bosses and Seokjin could see. 

Brows pinched together, your brain begins to draw a connection, one that Jungkook is soon confirming himself. “Everyone will see that now,” he hums, kissing a trail down your neck. 

Of course. 

You pat the back of his head in amusement, hiding a smile against his soft locks. Before you can say anything more, maybe tease him for being so cute, there’s a hand on your hip that snaps you out of your scheming. Jungkook lifts his head, does that endearing little head shake that pushes his hair out of his eyes, before leaning in for another languid kiss. 

It’s even slower than the first, mostly because he’s a little too preoccupied with running his hands over your body now. It starts at your shoulder, teasingly snaps the strap of your bra as you push your tongue down his throat. Jungkook whimpers, that pretty sound that makes you desperate to hear more. It’s the same sound that he always makes when he wants to be pampered, wants you to kiss his entire body while he lays there and takes it. 

And you’re all too ready to act on it. 

Duty calls and you’re there to answer, tilting his head for him with your hands against his cheeks. He sighs against you, breath trembling as it tickles across your skin. That soft and tender way that makes you melt because he’s just so precious, so dreamy. 

But you’re too caught up in your plotting to remember the hand he’s got on your hip, the one that teases the waistband of your panties with one lone finger. It’s only when Jungkook pulls away from your inviting mouth, his other hand holding you down by your shoulder, that you’re snapped back into reality. His lips are swollen and red, slick from your tongue, and so tantalizingly kissable. He huffs out a breath, eyes flickering over your face. “Can I touch you,” he husks, and gives into the temptation to press a kiss against your jaw. 

“Yes, please,” you shiver, hypnotized by his hungry stare. 

Jungkook wastes no time, pressing another kiss against the bruising mark over your throat that dissolves into a series of lighter smooches he trails down between your breasts. His hands come up to cup your boobs over your bra, giving them one harsh squeeze that has you releasing a long exhale as he moves between the valley and down your tummy, over your belly button. “Open,” he says at your pubic bone, carefully guiding your legs apart until you’re spread wide for him. 

The dark panties you’re wearing tonight— the super expensive ones you had spent an hour measuring your body for the exact sizing —receive one light kiss over the front. “Always so pretty for me,” Jungkook murmurs, tracing one lone finger down the middle. Your stomach contracts when he nudges it against you, the soft material of your panties just barely pushed between your folds. 

As his hand occupies itself with some relatively light foreplay, Jungkook tasks himself with leaving another tingling mark against your skin. This time, it’s on the inside of your thigh. He starts it off slowly, a few littered kisses against the skin until he deems one spot worthy enough and abruptly sinks his teeth into you. “Not so hard,” you whimper, reaching down to bury your hands in his hair. 

Jungkook lets it go, sloppily licking over the area. “You like it hard,” he husks, meeting your gaze as he licks one, long stripe over the tender skin. “Don’t you?” You nod demurely, pressing your knuckles against your lips to hold back a tiny moan from slipping past your lips. 

With that new mark blooming over your skin, Jungkook transfers his attention to your pussy, hidden beneath the soft material of your panties. One finger hooks under the hem, tucking them aside until he can see you in your entirety. “Fuck,” he groans, pressing one light kiss over your clit that makes you inhale sharply, fingers digging into his scalp. Jungkook throws one final glance your way before letting his tongue slip past his lips, the very tip flicking against your clit. 

Your breathing becomes shallow, anticipation building in the pits of your stomach as he slowly but surely begins playing with you. His tongue is so warm and wet, nudges your throbbing clit, nose pressed against your mound. “Mmm,” he moans, eyes fluttering shut as his mouth works wonders. 

“Ah,” you gasp, whiny and high-pitched, when he dips one finger past your wet folds. The entry is seamless, his pointer finger sinking into the velvet walls of your cunt as his tongue swirls against your hardened bud. “Jungkook,” you mewl, knocking your heel against his shoulder. Jungkook huffs, suctions his lips around your clit. The cold metal of the rings he always wears— the duo set from that Chrome Hearts brand he likes so much —presses against the trembling lips of your pussy, makes your back arch when he twists his finger inside of you. 

He’s so precise with his tongue, knows just how long and how hard to lick against your pulsing clit until you’re trembling, thighs quivering. Briefly, he pulls away, flicks his hair to the side in one suave motion that lets you see his dark eyes when he glances back up at you again, covered in a thick sheen of lust that makes them appear almost black as opposed to his usual warm brown. His hands reach for the waistband of your panties, tug them off with one fluid pull. 

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs, the end of his words laced with a slight rasp that makes your hips jump. “All for me,” he says, roughly pushing his finger into you again. The harshness makes your entire body tighten up in surprise, eyes fluttering shut when he slips his middle finger alongside his pointer this time around. 

“Baby, wait,” you whimper, walls fluttering around the two digits. Jungkook leans back in, presses a chaste kiss against your clit that makes your breathing stall as he thrusts his fingers into you. 

He ignores your cries, locks his lips at the juncture where your thigh meets your body, sensitive skin that bruises all too easily when he sucks against it too hard. “Only for me,” he sighs, all pretenses discarded as he begins rapidly and roughly fucking his fingers into you. It’s intense, has your thighs quaking as he speeds them up. 

The coil in your stomach tightens, and you have to bite down on your knuckles to stop the litany of whimpers from slipping past your lips when Jungkook ducks down again. He bypasses your quivering clit, warm tongue licking at the warm, wet folds around his fingers instead. The proximity makes the tip of his round nose brush along the length of your cunt, a sight and sensation that makes you moan, his bangs harshly tugged away from his forehead to give you the perfect view. 

It’s with a particularly hard shove and twist combination of his fingers into your clenching walls that you cum, a gasp caught in your throat as your hips push toward him, chasing the feeling Jungkook bestows upon you. Your breathing is a mess, inhales too short, your exhales inconsistent, as Jungkook slows the speed of his fingers inside of you, lets your cum ooze out around them, coat his fingers and his rings. 

“No,” you cry, watching that look come over his face when he withdraws his hand, the look that usually follows him sucking your cum into his mouth. “Jungkook, you don’t have to do that—” you whine, reaching for his wrist and yanking it towards you. 

Jungkook follows, crawls back up beside you as he chases his own sticky fingers. “It’s mine,” he urges, has this weird look in his eyes you don’t think you’ve ever seen before. And just as quickly as it crosses his features, he’s lurching forward to catch his own fingers in his mouth. It’s lewd, the way his tongue wraps around them, leaves them sleek under the TV glow, tattoos and rings glistening. He has the audacity to moan, eyes fluttering shut as his devious tongue slips down between his fingers, so long and precise. There’s a tiny noise that tears itself from your throat, one that has him flickering his clouded gaze up to you as his fingers are released from between his own lips. “You like that,” he murmurs, wet fingers trailing down your cheek, capturing your chin to turn your face his way completely. 

His tongue is sinful as it slips past your lips again, the tangy taste of yourself clinging to him. His breathing feels hot, suffocating. But his kisses are so good, make your mind go blank. So blank, that the fingers that rub at your clit surprise you completely. “Kook,” you gasp, breaking away from him in surprise. 

Jungkook doesn’t let you get far, capturing your mouth with his again. The two fingers you had felt on your chin are gone, firmly pressed against your swollen clit, experimentally rubbing against it. Never mind the fact you were still sensitive from your first orgasm, thighs quivering when he drags them against the wet, soft skin. It makes you shudder, breaking away from him a second time for a desperately needed inhale of fresh air. Jungkook follows behind closely, pressing kisses over your jawline, your chin, as his fingers continue moving against your clit.

He has them pressed together, rubbing at the front of your slit where that bundle of nerves is hidden. It makes your stomach contract, hips jerking forward into the touch in an effort to match him, to speed up the process. “You were made for me, pretty girl,” Jungkook huffs against your cheek, nose pressed against your skin because he’s just so close, practically molded into your side as his fingers send rhythmic shocks of ecstasy up your spine.

Your mouth drops open, stuttered gasps filtering through your lips as Jungkook takes advantage of your sensitive body to draw out another orgasm. But there’s a weird sensation that builds in your stomach this time, one that brings with it a sense of panic. “Wait—“ you gasp, fisting the silky material of his shirt beneath one clenched fist. “Jungkook,” you warn, toes curling.

He responds with a harsh nip against your lower lip that makes you whimper. “Go ahead,” he purrs, rubbing his fingers over you at an insane speed, one that has your juices sloppily spread over your pussy, makes you buck into him and moan against his mouth. 

The feeling grows, an intense, unfamiliar thing that you rarely recall ever feeling before, gasping for air as Jungkook’s fingers caress your clit, pressing down hard. “Fffuck, fuck,” you sob, mouth opening in a silent scream, eyes rolling backwards as you feel your pussy lips contract harder than ever before, thighs quivering as your juices squirt out of you, lower body reduced to jello as Jungkook quickens his movements, wrists jerking back and forth as your pleasure sprays out of you. “Ju— Jungkook,” you wail, forcefully slamming your thighs shut when he doesn’t stop, the pleasure seemingly never-ending under such a torturous touch. “Stop—stop,” you beg, eyes filling with tears that spill over when his trapped hand manages one final rough rub against your clit accompanied by a final gush of wetness. 

Only then does he stop, leaning back on his knees to drink you in with dark eyes that make you quiver. There’s no trace of his usual post-orgasm cockiness, the smile he’ll flash you, the teasing jabs. Nothing, just a frankly terrifying gaze that has you self-consciously pressing your hands over your chest. 

Jungkook doesn’t take kindly to it, roughly snatching one of your wrists up until you’re sitting up, the traces of your own orgasm present in the damp couch cushions beneath you, inner thighs coated in a thin sheen of your own pleasure. Jungkook leans in close, nose bumping against yours. “You came like that for me,” he says quietly, chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. You nod, eyes wide and teary when he reaches for the front of his shirt, giving it the same treatment he usually gives yours; two hands at the front, yanking it apart until the buttons are torn from their stitches and bouncing across your floor. 

He throws it off to the side, his tan skin highlighted by the cool tones of the television, the dark sleeve of his tattoo especially prominent. The black ink almost looks blue under this light. You’re so distracted by the perfect swirls and doodles on Jungkook’s skin that you don’t realize that same hand is reaching for you until it’s too late, long fingers wrapping around your throat to jerk you forward, head tipping back to look up at him. “Say it, sweet girl,” he murmurs, eyes half-lidded. “Tell me you’re mine.”

The fingers around your throat squeeze once and then slowly begin tightening. You gasp, meeting his hooded gaze with yours, lips quivering for a response that’s stuck in your throat, trapped by your own surprise and tightening airways. Frantically, you reach for his wrists with both hands, not to pull Jungkook’s hand away, but to ground yourself from the hazy cloud of lust the moment evokes. 

Still, your body isn’t as strong as you thought, and once Jungkook reaches a certain tightness around your throat you find yourself coughing. Instantly, he loosens his grip. But not too much. “I- I’m yours,” you rasp out, gasping for air. 

For now, it satisfies Jungkook enough for him to release you. And while you’re grateful for the rush of fresh air that fills your lungs, the phantom ghost of his grip around your throat sends a new gush of wetness between your thighs. One that grows tenfold when Jungkook reaches for his belt, undoes it easily. It comes off with one fluid motion, carelessly shucked off to the side as his attention moves to the front of his pants instead. 

He doesn’t let you sit around uselessly. “On your knees,” he says, so quietly you almost don’t hear it. “Sit on your knees facing the table.”

You blink slowly, the dry tears on your cheeks leaving stiff trails against your makeup. It takes a moment for your brain to process his request, one long second that has Jungkook pausing in his movements, leveling you with one solemn glare that eventually has you springing into action. You hastily slip off the couch, shuffling toward the coffee table between it and the television. The rug is soft beneath your knees, a luxury you can’t enjoy to the fullest because there’s a ball of excitement and fear stuck in your throat. (Right beneath your bruised skin and recuperating windpipes.) Sitting back on your calves, it feels like every nerve is standing stiff as you await his instructions. 

“Bra off,” Jungkook says from behind you, and you’re startled by the sudden ripping of stitches behind you, almost turning to look at him. He stops you with one hand around the back of your neck, drawing a surprised gasp from you. “Sit still,” he commands, your back stiff straight, eyes focused on the screen. After a beat, Jungkook lets you go, pats the back of your head gingerly. “Good girl.”

A whimper catches in your throat at the praise, and you barely manage to bite down on it in time, hurriedly reaching behind you. Your hands fidget over the clasps on your bra, and you nearly jump out of your skin when one lone finger traces down your spine, undoing your bra for you. You don’t know why, but you say, “thank you.”

The television changes scenes in front of you, the bright colors a stark contrast to the darkness of Jungkook’s eyes. Your hands tremble in front of you, fingers anxiously tangling with each other. A few inches beside you, there’s a dark red box filled with the flowers from—

Suddenly, your vision goes dark, hands instinctively reaching up to your eyes. The pads of your fingers come in contact with a soft material, smooth and silky. Just like— “Is this… ?” you murmur, hands sliding across the makeshift blindfold Jungkook’s made for you, the same texture as his shirt had been. 

He doesn’t grace you with an answer, just a hand against your hip as he, presumably, settles behind you. “Does it matter?” Jungkook says instead, voice all too close to your ear. Your entire body locks up, hands quickly returning to their spot against the coffee table. 

Just as you’d suspected, Jungkook is all too close now, hands crawling over your body. They start at your waist, massage the skin tenderly, lovingly, before gliding up to cup your breasts. You shiver, a quiet exhale escaping you as Jungkook rubs his palms over your boobs, trapping your stiff nipples between his fingers. A sound threatens to escape you, and you trap it behind a bitten lip, fists clenched against the table before you. “You know,” Jungkook says conversationally, like he’s not pinching your nipples enough to make you squirm. “Who else do you think can make you come like this?”

You brain lags. “W- What?” you stutter, thighs pressing together to ward away the arousal. Not like they’re already sticky from before, from when Jungkook had made you squirt. 

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat, pressing a kiss against your shoulder that he trails up to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe. “Who else,” he says slowly, “can make you come like this?”

It’s not a trick question— no one could. You tell Jungkook as much. “I— no one,” you answer, rolling your lips in when he kisses the tender spot beneath your ear again. 

His kisses feel loud, but not as loud as his voice when he says, “exactly.” You swallow, gripping at the edge of the coffee table when he releases your boobs, trails one hand between your thighs, the other around your throat to pull you backwards against his chest. It makes your hands flail, landing against the tops of his thick thighs. 

Jungkook holds you close, fingers tightening around your throat teasingly. “No one else can please you like you want,” he exhales, letting his fingers trail over your skin. “Not the guy on tv, not your exes, not the fucking loser at your job,” he hisses, lips against your ear. “No one,” he reiterates, voice softer now as he presses a kiss against you. “No one but me.”

And it’s true. 

You can’t even muster your usual mouthy, bratty attitude when Jungkook serves you cold hard facts like this. Not when you can feel his aching member press against the small of your back, rest perfectly in the slight dip between your ass cheeks. “Isn’t that right, sweet girl?” he murmurs, voice low. 

You nod, tummy tightening when he uses the hand between your thighs to spread them apart. “Only you,” you agree, voice feathery.

Jungkook hides a grin against your skin, a mean chuckle escaping him when he rests his forehead against your shoulder. “Fuck,” he says, releasing your throat. “Such a good girl,” he praises, hands on your hips again. He uses them to encourage you up onto your knees, hips bumping into the edge of the table as he shuffles you forward. “Bend,” he says quietly, palm flat on the center of your back, pushing you down until your belly button is pressed against the cold wood, boobs swinging forward just the slightest. “Perfect.”

Jungkook shuffles up behind you, soothes a hand over your hip when you flinch at the first press of his cock against your folds. “You’re okay,” he comforts, voice like honey as he lines himself up. Your folds are slippery and wet, loose from your arousal and the two orgasms he’s already given you. 

Despite all that, the first push of his engorged cock past the tight muscles makes you gasp. “Baby, that’s,” you moan, nails scratching against the coffee table to make a sound that you would otherwise find uncomfortable. “I—“

Jungkook pants behind you, cock sinking further and further in. “I’ve got you,” he husks. His voice is like the light at the end of the tunnel, your dark vision forcing you to rely on him entirely as he guides you through the motions. “Made for me,” he repeats, voice airy.

You nod jerkily, arms trembling as his cock plunges deeper inside of you. “Made for you,” you gasp, head falling forward, forehead pressed against the cold surface in front of you. 

He moans, and there’s one deafening moment of silence when he finally reaches the hilt, soft pubic hairs at the base of his cock brushing against your folds. It’s a familiar sensation, having him buried inside of you, but it’s always different when he’s doing it from behind. He always feels fuller, bigger, mushroom tip practically kissing your cervix. 

“Kook,” you whimper, walls unintentionally contracting around him when he lingers a second too long. “Move.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he curses behind you. “I know, it’s just—“ he pauses, squeezes your hip so hard, you’re certain it’ll bruise. “I wanna… y’know,” he groans, dropping his head against your back, warm breath fanning across your slightly sweaty skin. 

It makes something in your stomach click into place, shifting back just the slightest. The small drag around your lips makes you brave. “Then do it,” you urge, desperate for any sort of friction. 

Jungkook practically growls, bucking into you once. “No,” he says, like he’s battling with himself, faced with a mental hurdle he can only cross alone. “You don’t understand,” he sneers, suddenly snapping back into position behind you, pulling you flush against his pelvis once more. It makes you whimper. 

“I kinda do—“

“You don’t,” Jungkook hisses, forcefully thrusting his hips into you enough to make your hips knock painfully against the edge of the coffee table, a startled moan falling from between your lips. And from there, it’s like you’ve unleashed a beast, because Jungkook shows you no mercy as he begins fucking you, his fat cock slipping in and out of you, his angry head flirting with your entrance. “I wanna fucking breed you,” he sneers, fingers digging into the skin around your waist to hold you still as he bucks his hips forward.

His vulgarity makes your skin heat up, the warmth probably tangible over your sloppily made blindfold, eyes wide despite the fabric that covers them. “That—” you gasp, thighs trembling with each powerful thrust. 

“It’s too much, I fucking know,” he huffs dryly, releasing one hip to press against your shoulders, roughly shoving you forward until your breasts are pressed against the surface, arms bent up beside you to stop yourself from hitting your head. “But— But,” he shudders, suddenly stopping his thrusts to grind his cock against you instead, pussy lips quivering around his girthy member. “I wanna,” he pants, “wanna see you so fucking full of me, because— you’re mine, __,” he seethes, “right?”

You nod blindly, dumbly, brain too flooded with the stimulation he’s bestowing upon you to think properly. “I- I am,” you confirm, gasping for air. “And you’re mine,” you manage to get out, one hand slapping down against the coffee table when he draws his cock out, slams himself back into you quickly. 

“I’m yours,” Jungkook slurs behind you, slowly picking up his pace again. The hand on your back lets go, and it’s with trembling arms that you manage to push yourself back onto your forearms, one hand blindly reaching for the hand he’s got gripping at your hips. 

“Oh my god,” you whimper, the sounds coming from your connected bodies so lewd and obscene, disgustingly wet when Jungkook slips back inside. He surges forward again, and you try to catch your balance, knees quivering underneath the force of his thrusts. Your hand slides over the tabletop in a feeble effort to hold onto something, anything. You can’t see, and even if you could there’s not much to hold onto on a flat surface. 

Except the box your hand knocks into. Your confusion lasts for only about a second because then Jungkook is ramming his cock into you, over and over, until you’re certain your hips are going to bruise and your knees are going to give out. Jungkook’s moans are soft and feathery, sighs that fan over your shoulder and make your back arch, eyes rolling backwards for the briefest second as if you were possessed. 

“Mine,” he whimpers, desperate and needy, fingernails digging into your skin as he pushes on. “Gonna be mine forever,” he growls. “Gonna— Gonna be so pretty and big,” he moans, “tits so fucking full.” The image he puts in your mind makes you dizzy. 

You nod dumbly, knuckles bumping against the box a second time. “Jungkook,” you choke out, fingers blindly nudging the box aside. But there’s no strength behind it, your entire body feeling weak and useless, all the energy concentrated in the coil in your stomach, the one that grows and tightens with every entrance of Jungkook’s cock into your pulsing walls. “There’s— There’s something,” you gasp, pinky finger tapping against it.

Behind you, Jungkook stills, harsh breaths deafeningly loud. Louder than the television and the corny music that plays, the mindless chatter of the characters you couldn’t name even if you tried. “Why would you...” Jungkook huffs, irritation lacing his words.

You don’t get to question it, because a second later his finger is tucking itself beneath your blindfold, yanking it off carelessly. It makes your head crane backwards, a tiny yelp torn from your lips as the blinding glow of the TV attacks your poor eyes at full force. Jungkook’s long since stopped his rapid thrusts, and it’s only when you glance off to the side that you realize why. 

It’s the stupid box of flowers Seokjin had sent you, the one Jungkook had placed on the coffee table when you first got home. 

Behind you, Jungkook releases one long exhale, both of you looking at the arrangement with various degrees of discomfort. “Did you like them,” he murmurs, cock throbbing inside of you. 

You shake your head, a soft, “no,” falling from your lips. The muscles in your thighs quiver like mad. 

Jungkook says nothing, but you watch as one inked arm stretches out from behind you, the movement of his hips pushing his cock deeper into you. A tiny whimper catches in your throat, watching as Jungkook hooks a finger over the lip of the box. One swift tug has it gliding over the tabletop, coming to a stop right beside your forearm. Jungkook leans back, the silence terrifying. 

“Did you think they were pretty?” he asks, tracing one finger down your spine. Your lower lip trembles as your eyes scan over the bouquet, at the pretty color selection and lovely scent that joined together to overwhelm your senses. 

“No,” you say, but it feels like a lie.

And Jungkook thinks so too, wrapping one hand around your throat and pulling you back forcefully. It’s the same as he did earlier, but with his cock deep inside your pussy, it sends a shock throughout your entire nervous system, a sob tearing itself from within you as he unintentionally pushes himself deeper inside. “Did you,” he says a second time, practically seething, “think Seokjin’s flowers were pretty?”

Your eyes flicker nervously across the screen in front of you, but everything is a blur, Jungkook’s harsh breathing against your ear. “Yes,” you confess, whimpering when his fingers tighten around your throat, press down against your windpipe as he inhales sharply. “But they’re just flow—“ He squeezes your throat so hard, your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, mind growing fuzzy. Eventually, he lets go and you dissolve into a fit of coughs, bent over the coffee table again as Jungkook slips his stiff cock out from within you. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle, throwing a teary-eyed look over your shoulder.

What you’re not expecting is for Jungkook to grab that same shoulder and roughly push you onto your side away from the coffee table, falling onto the fluffy rug as he shoves you down. “Something pretty for a pretty girl,” he sneers, biting down a frankly maniacal grin.

“What?” you exhale, probably looking at him with the same maniacal look in your eyes. 

(You were made for each other, so crazy and in love.)

Jungkook stretches one toned arm out, and you flinch when he uses that same beautiful arm to send the box of flowers flying over the edge of the coffee table, a hard thwack resounding throughout the room when they land face down on the other side, petals against the floor, water dripping out from inside. 

With those out of the way, Jungkook wastes no time flipping you over, face shoved down against the soft rug as he angles your hips up. “Thinking about someone else when I’m right here,” he growls, ramming his cock back into you with no warning. You sob, clawing at nothing as he bucks forward. “What a mean girl,” Jungkook scolds. 

“I- I wasn’t,” you defend weakly, shivering as he snaps his hips against you, the rug irritating your cheek when the motion sends you forward. Jungkook uses the hands on your hips to pull you back, your skin clapping together loudly. 

“You think Seokjin would— would fuck you like this?” he spits, using you like a toy as he fucks basically for himself, cock sliding in and out of your squelching walls. “You think he’d push you down and—and call you a stupid girl?” 

You shake your head, eyes squeezed shut to fight the wave of tears threatening your waterline. Truthfully, it doesn’t make much of a difference, especially not when Jungkook yanks your hips back again, your entrance sensitive from all the friction. “No, no,” you sob. ”He wouldn't.”

Jungkook scoffs, not bothering to slow his pace down. “Of course he wouldn’t,” he spits, and then, strikes your ass. Two hard cracks of his palm, rings and all, against the globes of your ass. You wail, unconsciously jerking away only for Jungkook to drag you back. “Stupid girl,” Jungkook sighs, cock twitching inside of you. You can feel the beads of precum oozing out from the tip of his cock inside you, their warmth making you shudder. 

Your other ass cheek receives the same treatment, two harsh smacks that leave the skin tingling, blood rising to the surface. “Stupid, stupid girl,” he repeats, palms rubbing over your cheeks for a brief second, only to strike down again. “Aren’t you?” You nod, fat tears dripping out of the corner of your eyes and down onto the fluffy rug beneath you. Your behind stings, pain blossoming over your skin. But it’s the good kind, the one that has drool escaping from the corner of your lips from how overwhelmed it leaves you. 

“I- I’m a stupid girl,” you agree, your words punctuated by a series of tiny sobs and sniffles. Your walls feel sensitive, raw, from his thrusts. You’re ready to come, trembling hands slithering down to reach for your clit. 

“Don’t,” Jungkook warns, snatching your arm up and twisting it behind you. 

You cry, tears and drool against the rug. “I wanna come,” you whimper, trying your other hand only for it to meet a similar demise. “Please,” you sniffle, turning your face the other way as if the angle will somehow be different. 

“You don’t come until I say so,” Jungkook hisses, using his grip on your wrists to tug you onto his cock. You moan, choke on your own saliva from the force, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix for real this time. It renders you stupid, just like Jungkook had called you, chin trembling as your eyes roll backwards. Behind you, Jungkook grunts something deep and raspy. “Fffuck,” he spits, pistoning his hips into your inviting heat. “You were doing so good tonight—“ a particular brutal buck of his hips, a loud moan torn from your lips “—but first those fucking flowers and now this?”

The rhythm of his deep thrusts cut your moans into stuttered little cries, your words broken with every ram of his cock inside of you. Your walls feel worn, every brush sending a tingling shock up your spine. “I- I’m sorry,” you weep, shoulders shaking from your own tears and the rumbling orgasm that’s just about ready to snap. 

Jungkook says nothing, too busy shoving his cock inside of you to grace you with a response. Instead, you’re subjected to his relentless thrusts, sharp gasps from his pretty mouth. “Fuck,” he pants, releasing your wrists after one particular thrusts, your walls clenching around him painfully when he draws his cock out. 

“I can’t,” you sniffle, knees giving out before he can catch you, sadly sinking down onto the plush rug. “Kook, I—”

Jungkook makes a sound, something between a growl and a roar in the back of his throat as he follows behind you, planting two firm hands on the sides of your head to use as leverage to fuck himself in. With your thighs pressed flat together, the squeeze is tighter than ever before, and your eyes roll backwards as he gets to work, walls fluttering from the overstimulation. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he pants, all games thrown aside as he begins pounding his cock past your folds, deep into your contracting walls, until that tight spring in your stomach gives out and you’re clenching up beneath him, entire body going stiff for one long beat. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you weep, thighs quivering as you cream his cock, make his movements so slippery and wet, almost dangerous when he’s going this fast. His name falls from your trembling lips, every nickname and pet name you’ve ever given him mindlessly blubbered through your orgasm. Jungkook pays you no mind, thighs tensing up as he chases his high, short breaths and moans filling the space as he fucks himself into you. Until, finally, a few deep strokes later, he’s coming with a shuddered cry of your name on his tongue, collapsing over you, forehead pressed to your back as he catches his breath. 

“Fuck,” he groans one last time, body going slack very quickly. He slumps down beside you, softening cock slipping out of your tender folds. 

The floor between the coffee table and the couch is dark, the television glow not reaching down here. Even still, the sweat clinging to Jungkook makes him look like a sparkly Twilight vampire, the dip between his pecs collecting the smallest pool of sweat. You can’t stop yourself from running your pointer finger along the skin, over his nipple. His pec jumps deliciously under the attention. “Stop,” Jungkook sighs, catching your wrist in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles in an attempt to distract you. “Or I’ll really get you pregnant next time.”

You push yourself onto your elbows, pinching his doughy cheek. “You won’t,” you tease. Jungkook flicks his hair away from his eyes to level you with a look you’ve never seen before, not a trace of his usual post-sex playfulness to be found. It has you retracting your hand, eyes wide when he doesn’t stand down. Still, you can’t lose. “...No you won’t,” you repeat, quieter, almost unsure. Almost a question. 

Jungkook rolls his eyes, tugging you into his arms. He’s all sweaty and sticky, just like you. He’s lucky he doesn’t have four separate loads of cum— three from you, one from him —sticking between his thighs. “Keep telling yourself that,” he pants, so smoothly. Too smoothly. It makes you clench your thighs, something Jungkook doesn’t miss. “Stop it,” he warns a second time.

“You’re just so dreamy,” you whine, sitting back up to play with his hand. “Like, when you made me squirt?” He chuckles softly, eyes fluttering shut. “Not gonna lie, I thought I saw the answer to the universe for a second.” 

He’s worn out today, more than usual, that he doesn’t bother gracing you with a response. But it had been a long day for Jungkook; from planning an entire date, to the Seokjin debacle, to the crazy hot sex he’d gifted you. It was only reasonable. You reward his efforts with a soft peck against his cheek that makes him smile, a light blush painting his cheeks. “You did good today,” you hum, patting chest comfortingly. 

“Felt like I was in a Viki drama,” he confesses after a moment, has that tiny smile on his face that makes the apples of his cheeks especially round, especially cute. “The kind that have twelve plot lines going on.”

You laugh, snuggling beside him. The rug feels dirty, but so do you so the feeling is cancelled out or whatever. “You’d be the Park Seojoon of any Viki drama,” you tell him, and Jungkook laughs.

That loud and airy one he reserves only for you. 

epilogue

Namjoon calls Jungkook’s phone a little after eleven, talking your ear off about some date he’d gone on while Jungkook is in the shower. You tell him about what happened with Seokjin and like all respectable college mentors, he just about flips. “You can sue him,” Namjoon hisses, furious for you. Not that you aren’t anymore, but in a weird act of impulsiveness, Jungkook had gone outside and ran the stupid box of flowers over with his car as you watched from the open window of your apartment. It was weirdly cathartic. 

He’s in the shower now, humming the lyrics to one of the songs from Secretary Kim, a song called It’s You by Jeong Sewoon (thank you, Shazam), that makes every inch of your body overflow with adoration when he hits that long note. Anyway, you’re perusing the rest of the streaming service for a movie to watch. Jungkook said you couldn’t watch Train to Busan tonight, something about it ruining the mood. So now you’re debating between a historical romcom or a modern romcom. 

Over the line, Namjoon is doing all the raging for you. “Men are trash,” he huffs one last time, before eventually letting it go. (For now.) “Hey, do you know how to cover up hickeys?” he asks suddenly, just as Jungkook reappears in the living room. His skin is glowing, looking like the hottest man alive. The window is still open, a feeble attempt to air out the smell of sex in the room, and the draft makes Jungkook shiver because his hair is still a little wet. 

“Hickeys?” you repeat, stretching a hand out for him as he rounds the couch. Jungkook takes it, places a soft smooch against your knuckles, close to your promise ring. Your heartbeat stutters just as Namjoon hums. 

“Yeah, this girl,” he says, cutting himself off with a laugh. One you recognize all too well because it’s the same one you let out when you talk about Jungkook to other people. Said boy settles close beside you, leans his cheek against your head when you snuggle into his neck. As soon as he’s there, you lose all rights to the remote, watching as Jungkook completely disregards all your searching just to click back onto Secretary Kim. He had missed a whole episode. “We went a little crazy tonight—“ you gag at the image Namjoon places in your head “—and Doyeon bites kinda hard—“

“Doyeon?” you interrupt, all mental processes coming to an abrupt halt as the name bounces around your mind. Jungkook, having mastered the art of listening in on your phone calls by now, freezes beside you. “You know a Doyeon?” 

“Yeah!” Namjoon says excitedly as you sit up. Jungkook meets your gaze, big Bambi eyes giving the performance of a lifetime, and gives your this overly innocent shrug of his shoulders that tells you more about what he does know than what he doesn’t. “Kim Doyeon. She went to your school— actually, she graduated with you and Kook.”

The world comes to a complete stop as you glare at Jungkook, his panicked features cueing you in to the fact he was aware of this, as you’d suspected. “Namjoon,” you say slowly, fist tightening around Jungkook’s phone. “Are you aware you’re fucking my best friend?” 

There’s a long silence on the other end, Namjoon presumably processing the information while Jungkook tries to calm the boiling anger within you. “He didn’t know,” Jungkook whispers, big pretty eyes on you as he tries to save Namjoon from you. 

All his efforts are in vain when Namjoon clears his throat and so eloquently says, “and you’re fucking my best friend?”

epi-epilogue

The Best Buy employee doesn’t ask questions when you and Jungkook go in to get your cracked phone screens repaired. He does, however, give Jungkook an over-exuberant sales pitch on a brand new line of computer monitors that are almost as big as the television at your house. 

You try to save him from the dangerous hands of capitalism, but the Hello Kitty bandaids decorating your neck are itchy, the skin still so tender, so sometimes it’s wiser to let him waste his money than argue otherwise. 

“Good girl,” Jungkook says as he swings your arms back and forth on your walk to the car, impressed by the fact you didn’t argue with him in a Best Buy today. “My perceptions and understanding of you in my life make me happy,” he beams, too smiley as he unlocks the doors. 

“Shut up,” you glare, painfully tearing the stupid bandaids off your neck as soon as you get in, brandishing the blossoming hickeys Jungkook had so graciously given you last night. At the sight, he bites down a smile. “You’re about to perceive and understand these fists.” 

And Jungkook smiles— he always smiles —as he leans over the center console to press his mouth against the darkened skin at the front of your neck, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over your promise ring. “Perceive this love,” he says, so cheesy it makes you gag. 

“Goddd,” you groan, pushing him away before he can see the smile on your face. “Someone get this man a Viki deal.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[dmsden]

Campaign Sorcery - Music

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Welcome to the first article in our Campaign Sorcery series. These articles are going to illustrate some tricks and tips to making a campaign just a tiny touch more epic and memorable for your players. This week, I’m using one that has become absolutely essential for my games - music.

I’ve been using music almost as long as I can remember to enhance my games. Back in my 1st and 2nd edition days, I had mix tapes that I created for themes like “Battle”, “Travel”, “Dungeon Delving” and so on. The frustrating bit was that you had to bring a large number of cassette tapes and a player with you if you wanted to play anywhere other than home.  As technology has advanced, however, I’ve been able to move on to playlists that I can access pretty much anywhere.

So how do you get music into your games? Well, that depends on how you’re playing. Roll20, for example, actually has a playlist feature built right into it, along with a decent little library of music that you could use to enhance your games. You can create a different playlist for each “room” that you create, or have them all draw from a central one. I’ve only recently begun experimenting with this, but I’ve found it very easy to use. I haven’t used other virtual tabletops, but I would be surprised if they didn’t offer some of this versatility as well.

If you’re playing on person, then your options expand quite a bit. Normally, I run my games with my iPad cued up to my Apple Music and plugged into my surround-sound speakers. I’ve created numerous playlists for various genres of games. If I’m running D&D, the soundtrack tends to lean into epic fantasy. If I’m running Tales from the Loop, then I move to my 1980s music. For Call of Cthulhu, I have a combination of 1920s and 30s popular music and horror themed lists. If I start a new game, I spend some prep time creating new playlists, and I find it fun to do so.

If you’re not an Apple Music subscriber, you could also use Amazon Music, iTunes, Spotify, or any number of other alternatives. If you *are* an Amazon Music subscriber, here’s a nice freebie for you. You can search for me (Andrew French/@Aethan) in the profiles section. You can then add the playlists I’ve already created to your library and use them for your own games. You’re welcome. :)

If you need to create your own playlists, you might ask yourself, “What should I use?” I think this depends more on taste than anything else. I have found that I prefer music without lyrics, except in very specific circumstances, so I use a lot of movie soundtracks, game soundtracks, and early instrumental music. For example, my playlists contain things like the game soundtracks to Dante’s Inferno, Dragon Age, and Myst, the movie soundtrack to Titus, The Lord of the Rings movies, and the Dungeons & Dragons movie (one of the only decent things about it), an album called Lute Music for Witches and Alchemists, and music by bands like Dronolan’s Tower and Nox Arcana that specifically make soundtrack-like music for atmospheres. 

As you make your playlist, I recommend listening to each track and thinking about the mood that it evokes. Is it too recognizable? I have left out a lot of music from, for example, Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean, because a particular theme is too obvious and could be jarring to hear. Also, does the whole track evoke the mood you want? A lot of movie soundtrack tracks change mood mid-song because of a shift in the scene. You don’t want to have something light and idyllic suddenly turn to horror as you’re describing a country market...unless that’s exactly what you want, which brings me to my next point.

You can use specific tracks to set up specific scenes, characters, and monsters. For example, one of the PCs had a romantic relationship earlier in the campaign, so the NPC he was involved with got her own theme. Likewise, the Tarrasque, which is hugely important in my campaign, has its own theme. I have a separate playlist explicitly for themes that I only play once. When the PCs encounter that creature, NPC, etc, I simply put that track on loop until it’s time to move on. Likewise, the campaign itself has a theme. The piece of music called “Our Purpose” from the mini-series of Pillars of the Earth is the perfect length for me to get my players settled and do my recap of the session before. It has the right feeling of gravitas and growing menace, complete with ringing cathedral bells at the song’s climax. Sometimes I hear a piece of music and think, “That will make a good theme.” I add it to my Themes folder until I find the right use for it, and I make sure the PCs hear it when the situation that warrants it comes into play. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this article. Next time, I intend to discuss a related topic - sound effects. Until then, may the dice fall ever in your favor.

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 9: Hold me, hold me

We’ve arrived at the final Radiohead album to date. The only one to come out since I became a fan, and as such the one I can actually remember listening to for the first time. On a cold winter morning in Perth (so not that cold), releasing on a Monday, I excitedly ran up to buy the album on iTunes and download it before I had to catch the bus to uni. The last time I think I will ever have bought music on that platform, at this point. I remember listening to the opening two tracks, the two that had dropped with gorgeous videos over the weekend, before diving into the album proper.

And then a mate showed up at the station when I was transferring buses so I ended up talking to him instead of listening to the second half, and I didn’t get to do that until the afternoon.

I think it’s fitting that this album be the one with such a story attached, considering how personal an album it is compared to the previous few. A Moon Shaped Pool is a clear reflection of the events surrounding it- Thom’s divorce from his partner of 25 years, Rachel Owen, and her subsequent early passing from cancer, and the death of producer Nigel Godrich’s father during the recording sessions. There’s a deep loneliness and tragedy in the album, and one that seriously resonates with the times.

With that in mind, Burn The Witch is kind of an odd fit for the album. Themes of mob mentality and moral panic, images of medieval plague houses and witch hunts don’t quite suit the tone A Moon Shaped Pool generally conveys. Which is why it’s probably for the best that the song appears at the very start of the album, somewhat separated from the bulk of the work.

This might imply that I don’t like the song. Far from it, for a while, Burn the Witch was my favourite track on the entire thing. I adore strings on rocky music, and in this case, they almost chug, like the guitars on a System of a Down song, with the electronic elements being such an excellent subtle contrasting part of the music. Thom’s vocals are all-encompassing in the chorus, and the timing of the strings getting that little psychotic edge to them at the same time is so perfect.  

As much as the album is separate from this song, it’s still an excellent choice for an opener, both in the tracklist and the promotion. Because like a fair few other songs on this album, Burn the Witch has been a Radiohead song without a home for a very long time, as early as the Kid A era, with early versions of its lyrics showing up in the Hail to the Thief art and website. It was something hardcore fans had been clamoring for for more than a decade, especially after one live show where Thom responded to the cries by playing the first few bars- and then saying “alright for the rest of it you’ll have to wait until we get the orchestra” (paraphrased). And get the orchestra they did, with its majesty in this song being a statement.

Daydreaming is an extremely different song from Burn the Witch, as one would imagine from what I’ve said previous. Piano driven and muffled with allusions to Plato’s Cave, it’s a song that sounds like giving up, and all the pain (and all the comfort) associated with it. The song is a slow, slow build to an emotional climax who’s lyrics are incomprehensible on account of being backmasked. For the record, it’s commonly believed that they’re “Half of my life”, a reference again to Thom’s relationship with his late wife.

The song is relaxing for its majority, the soft pianos and vocals a cold comfort to the defeated emotion the song portrays. This is sort of shocked out of the system 5 minutes in, as the strings are louder and clearer, and the backmasked vocals get more distorted, and loud, sounding like snoring, drowning out the gentler electronic sounds. This does eventually settle, with both strings and vocals lowering to more of a rumble, everything else fading out until they are all that remain. The note the song ends on is kind of disturbing, frankly.

It’s somewhat awkward that the two songs with music videos are at the very start of the album, leaving the rest of this to be a wall of text. I’ll find something.

Track 3 presents an interesting parallel with OK Computer, with both Decks Dark and its Subterranean Homesick Alien using UFOs as metaphor for the human condition. Instrumentally, of course, they’re completely different, but the thematic tie is there. Decks Dark has also at some point vied for the place of my favourite track on the album, the very fun, rhythmic delivery of the vocals in the verse something I’m fond of singing along to, and that absolutely killer backing choral giving the song a haunting feel.

Decks Dark effectively has four distinct sections- Chorus(?) 1, Verse, Chorus 2, Outro. The first chorus is this very mysterious thing, light on instrumentation aside from an electronic drum beat and a simple piano line (with heavily panned noises that I’m pretty sure are only in the right ear). The verse, as I mentioned, has the haunting choral and fresh bars, a heavier piano laden into its airy instrumental, a quiet but killer bassline that gets to kind of show up in the second chorus. Chorus 2 feels like a reflection of the first, a bit more grounded, the mystery explored, and the outro is… I mean the bass and piano are great but I always forget about this part of the track, like I could take it or leave it. Fortunately for said outro, the song is very much more than the sum of its parts, and it’s an excellent fit for the album.

Speaking of being able to take or leave things, I’m not particularly huge on Desert Island Disk. A low acoustic guitar-based track, with a distant echo of an electronic piece playing only in your left ear for like, half of the track, with less subtle electronic sections following up, panning between ears, that (and I mean this as a compliment) remind me of the Spore soundtrack. Christ that’s a weird comparison.

There’s an interesting moment where a new acoustic riff comes in right as you’re getting lost in the haze, cutting through the electronic fog (as it becomes the only instrumentation present), which is honestly a very precise bit of musical timing. I do enjoy the lyrics to the song as well, what with its final line probably not deliberately being an LGBT+ affirmation but sure working as one. The song is, basically, pretty okay, but don’t be surprised if I skip it on my next (less thorough) listen-through.

Ful Stop is a track that often convinces me I’ve fucked up my headphones or something, because of how quiet and how slow the buildup for its introduction is. It’s probably the angriest track Radiohead has put out in the last decade, harsh electronics and accusatory vocals kind of a surprise after the chillness of Desert Island Disk. The bass is killer in this song’s first half, and the almost cyclical presentation of its various elements as the bass and drums are still slowly getting louder and clearer is excellent until it breaks into its second half. I…forgot how long the first section of the song was, frankly.

The second section is really interesting, with its twin vocals making like the instrumentation as “Truth will mess you up” slowly gets quieter and quieter to the point of inaudibility and “All the good times” rising into clarity, all while the instrumentation just keeps chugging. I understand this one is one of the songs that predates the album (and unlike Burn the Witch was actually played live), and I’d like to see exactly how that particular one panned out before A Moon Shaped Pool took it’s approach to it. Good track!

Glass Eyes somewhat reminds me of Faust Arp, in that it’s a much quieter, shorter, and vocally driven track than what surrounds it. And just like Faust Arp, I really enjoy it. This track is distilled, purified anxiety, brutal yet familiar lyrics and a soft, hesitant piano line to accompany it. The strings are absolutely beautiful on this song, rising and falling with the lyrics, and especially with the second verse.

This song feels intimate, particularly with its last two lines. “I feel this love to the core” is a great illustration of how, when surrounded by harsh reality and anxiety, positive feelings like love can be amplified in context and touch deeper than they otherwise would. Of course, it’s followed up by “I feel this love turn cold”, as this album is, in fact, about tragedy- what do you do when that source of comfort goes as icy as everything else?

Track number 7 is Identikit, and no I don’t know what that means. Actually I don’t really know what any of this song means, to be honest, but it is kind of a jam. It’s also the track where the album’s title, and this post’s one, come in, in a nigh-incomprehensible background refrain in the first section that I’m pretty sure we only know the words for thanks to the lyrics booklet. The first half of the track is fairly simple, vocals (+ that refrain) along with a simple drum loop and guitar line.

And then the bridge comes in. Larger-than-life, especially as the electronics and backing vocals come in for its second section, but it’s always briefer than I recall. Most of the song stays in the relatively relaxed mood of the first verse, with the second being basically the same as the first instrumentally, though the guitar is doing some really fun noodling and there’s some electronic stuff going on in the other ear. I kinda forgot how much panning there was in the album in general- not the type of album for those with only one working headphone. Identikit is a track for which my feelings are a lot more muted than they used to be- not a bad one by any means, but I used to like it more and I’m not sure what changed.

The Numbers opens with n o i s e s and this luscious piano section, experimental and jazzy but ethereal and vague, before its main guitar and drums kick in. It’s a very folksy track by and large, still having the feel of the rest of the album but with a twangier guitar and more consistent percussion, grounding the more airy elements of the track with this very real instrumentation.

Speaking of Very Real, this might be surprising for people who only follow Radiohead’s music and not their politics or people, but The Numbers is actually a climate change protest song. It gets a bit more obvious in the second verse, as the strings come in with this very determined mood, and the lyrics get a bit less subtle about the whole thing. I can’t say I know if anyone’s played this track at a climate rally I’ve been to yet (but they should), but it’s kind of interesting that it took this long for such a song to get made, considering how long Thom in particular has been a staunch supporter of, well, not having oil companies burn the world down.

Our next song is Present Tense, one which I think currently sits as my favourite from the album, but boy does it shift. It’s a very groovy piece, almost liquid in its presentation, one I can’t help but jam to a little bit when listening to. There’s some really surprising elements in the track, a…shaker, or whatever you call those things that aren’t quite maracas, as well the echoing vocals feeling like backing singers, whispering almost as they’re layered on top of each other over and over.

The lyricism in the song kind of speaks its own mood- “As my world comes crashing down, I’ll be dancing, freaking out”. It’s a dance of rejection, of denying reality and shutting down to avoid the world and its pain, but you know, while groovin’. There’s a duality to them, with the verses presenting this anxious spiral and its avoidance, as the chorus’s one line- “in you I’m lost”- suggests a lifeline for the person experiencing this scenario. All in all, it’s an excellent track.

Our penultimate track is one with a total so long that Spotify really doesn’t want to show it all, Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief, which I’m not going to repeat because this post is already super ridiculously long. Fortunately, I have surprisingly little to say about this song. The majority of the track is pretty much fine, good vocals, a relatively basic instrumentation that gets more luxurious for the second verse/chorus, with a second clearer piano line and drums overlaid on their electronic substitutes from the first.

And then the final minute and a half happens, and it’s incredible. There’s no way they could have kept this up for the whole song, but the orchestral section in this part of the song is utterly mindblowing, a beautiful crescendo that serves as the album’s climax, more and more things and strings adding on as the progression of the song just goes and goes until it just…ends. I do wish it was longer, frankly, because there is a whole like half minute of outro that I just wish was more of that instrumental.

The final track on A Moon Shaped Pool is True Love Waits. But to talk about True Love Waits, we need to talk about True Love Waits.

That is to say the live version of the song from a 2001 Oslo concert, present on both I Might Be Wrong: Live Recordings and Radiohead: The Best Of (the closer for both and the concert itself), since along with other tracks from the album this was one that had existed for a while before it finally got put to vinyl. It’s a lovely but surprisingly simple acoustic love song, depressing lyrics and wavering vocals aside. The chorus of the song is “just don’t leave, don’t leave”, a desperate plea for companionship that, in this case, seems to have succeeded. The track genuinely feels happy despite itself, a hopeful end to what was surely a melancholic concert. The video above isn’t that version, it’s from a different performance, but it’s close enough.

But of course, in reality, she eventually did leave. And then she died not long afterwards. This tragedy is reflected in the A Moon Shaped Pool version of True Love Waits, an utterly crushing piece of music. Those same lyrics over a simple piano version of the instrumentation, one that feels almost empty, or hollow, echoing into the void with only itself to answer. Those same lyrics that now feel so much more pained, an awful reminder of what was. The line “I’m not living, I’m just killing time” is so much harsher when the song doesn’t have that bright undercurrent to keep it going. While there’s a lot of emotion packed into the rest of the album, True Love Waits is the sonic equivalent of weeping.

It’s…hard to listen to. I believe it was literally scientifically determined, as far as something like that can be done, to be the most depressing Radiohead song. It’s basically not a song I ever listen to as a result- I really don’t need that energy in my life, honestly. Grieving is hard, obviously, but it’s not really a zone I want to deliberately put myself into.

And that is, ultimately, how A Moon Shaped Pool, and Radiohead’s current album legacy, ends. Not on a whimper, but something kind of like it. It’s a very good album, clearly, but there are moments from it I’d rather pass on most of the time- hence I don’t think it’ll ever be, like, top 3 for me.

At this point, Radiohead’s future is kind of uncertain. The members of the band took a break after this to work on solo projects and the like, but at this point, all of those have pretty much wrapped, and so the rumblings of LP10 are likely on the horizon. There’s no way of knowing what another album would look or sound like at this point, so we’ll just have to see. The band did release a 20 year anniversary edition of OK Computer, though, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see one for Kid A/Amnesiac within the rest of the year. It would, uh, have to be within the rest of the year.

The future of this series is of course similarly unclear. While I could and probably should end it, move on to talk about other albums and bands, some part of me does want to go back and take a look at some other Radiohead stuff. There’s B-Sides, there’s solo projects (which I really haven’t delved into personally), theres TKOL RMX 1234567, the list goes on. I guess you, and I, will both have to see next Tuesday. I hope to see you then, whatever it ends up being.

[wormholemedia]

Another 217 artist “Yung Death” has been busy in 2020. The end of this years release schedule yielded his biggest project to-date. 17 tracks to make up “Change of Heart”, a mixtape showcasing all of Yung Death’s talents, and we’re gonna break it down track-by-track. 1. Brood Witch is an ethereal track, showcasing a more classic Yung Death. A dreamy, melancholic instrumental (produced by Yung Death himself, along with every other track he’s done) sits perfectly under a delivery that suits the track impeccably. 2. Stevie Nicks is another track that showcases his ability to weave rhymes and wordplay so smoothly, you’ll most likely miss some references if you’re not paying close attention. This entire project needs a few listens to fully appreciate the word-play and analogies spanning the tape. 3. Blew It helps usher in a new sound for Yung Death. With just as much focus on bars as his other songs, this one showcases the ability to sing catchy melodies along with the clever lyricism. Any drainers will feel right at home queing this up in their rotation 4. One of the catchiest songs on the tape, the beat really sets this one apart. The rhythm of the beat, matched with the cadence of the rhymes, produces the epitome of what Yung Death has to offer. 5. Zoo is a track that some Yung Death fans have been waiting for since they heard him perform it as an unreleased song on July 4th at “Rebirth on the 4th”. One of his first ventures into the more melodic territory, Yung Death draws on his classic inspirations to produce this hard, yet melodic banger. 6. Rush is a short and sweet track that has hefty Yung Gravy vibes. Cited by multiple fans as their favorite track, this track will definitely leave you wanting more. 7. Diamond Dogs really cements the “Yung Death” sound, proving to be difficult to compare to any other hip-hop artist. The upbeat vibe, mixed with the some-what nihilistic lyrics contrast in a wonderful way that’s pure Yung Death. 8. The Change of Heart Freestyle is a top contender for one of my personal favorites on the project. The use of the negative space in between certain lines, gives this track a swing that forces you to bob your head, without even realizing it.  9. Similar to “Blew It”, Sun & Moon may throw some OG Yung Death fans for a loop. Another dip into the more melodic territory, he proves his skillset is constantly expanding by nailing this track. Between the melodic vocals, and the emotional lyrical content, this one is sure to be another drainer favorite. 10. Little Too is probably the most chill song on the tape. The plucking melody, paired with the overall vibe of the track, make for a fantastic soundtrack for a nice smoke session.  11. The chorus of Emily Elizabeth kicks in immediately with funny references and wordplay, then switches to a call/response ending before a seamless transition into a light-hearted verse. Definitely a classic in the making.  12. Kowloon starts off with a very spooky vibe, with a phat bassline and pounding drums. This one definitely has a signature Yung Death sound, further adding to his catalog of songs that are purely his own sound.  13. Akimbo follows up right were Kowloon left off, keeping the hazy/gloomy vibe going while switching up the instrumental, and offering some killer rhymes to go with it.  14. Blue Asics starts out with a bubbly/happy beat sliding right into the hook. The hidden gem in this track is a melodic segment in the first verse. Another track with some Yung Gravy vibes, mostly because of the instrumental.  15. Moby continues to deliver on the pillars of the classic Yung Death sound. Utilizing his own hand-crafted beats, and his own lyrics, he’s able to create a sound that’s all his own without getting stale.  16. Master P starts to close out the tape with a slower tempo, but doesn’t slow with the word-play, analogies, and general bars. The adlibs hit particularly well in this track, filling out some of the space perfectly.  17. The instrumental in V.R. has a spooky, yet cartoon-y vibe that fits the Yung Death sound well. With no shortage of all the things that prove Yung Death to be an exciting prospect from central Illinois, this is the perfect track to close out this project. 

[purple-paws]

PROMARE WAS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

Here are my spoiler-free thoughts!

* It was a LOT better than I was expecting it to be. Next to Little Witch Academia, I think it’s their best work to date.

* There were some minor pacing issues towards the second half of the film (mostly with a lot of exposition suddenly being dumped on the audience), but the first half and the finals were excellently paced.

* The animation and music were beyond amazing!! I’ve been listening to the soundtrack on loop ad Infinitum and I love it. Definitely shelling out the cash for a copy!

* I WOULD DIE FOR GALO AND LIO. They deserve to be happy together 💗💗💗

[illustratedtapes]

Welcome to Illustrated Tape’s favourite releases of 2018 that sounded and looked good, chosen by this year’s contributors. We’ve put together a playlist featuring one track from each of the releases featured so you can check out the sounds we were digging this year. Happy listening! 

➔ spoti.fi/2LCgrQp Listening in order recommended

Delta Sleep - Ghost City Big Scary Monsters, 10 August  Artwork: Owen Findley at Or8 Design Selected by Megan Reddi // IT014

This is my favourite music/artwork combo of 2018! The whole album is just amazing - it is beautifully arranged and has this lovely dreamy quality to it, with repeated musical motifs woven throughout to really pull the whole album together. Not only is Ghost City musically fantastic, but the artwork is beautiful and so fitting for the album. It is designed and screen printed by Owen Findley and the warm colours, imagery and textures are just spot on.

Definitely my favourite release of 2018. It is my go-to driving album and I will be blasting it while we’re driving around this Christmas!

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 014: Nautical Dusk by Megan Reddi

Okay Kaya - Both Heavy Body, 1 June  Artwork/design: Kaya Wilkins, Aaron Maine, Phillip Wong

Selected by Hannah Buckman // IT016

Okay Kaya’s Both as an album that came out this year which I enjoyed, and which I feel has a strong visual component to it. To me the album feels sickly (in a good way), gloomy but still pop. I think the mood is conveyed really well through the Adinah Dancyger directed music vids and the album art. 

I liked finding out more about Kaya’s thinking behind the project, like how the twin in the videos is like a physical manifestation of trauma... it’s something that once I read I couldn’t stop thinking about. The idea of something traumatic inducing this birth of a second self, a kind of split off part that is still attached in some way to the whole, but there being a kind of safety in acknowledging what might be a darker part of yourself, from a distance. Also the album art kind of conveys the idea of duality and how that relates to race/sexuality, but I didn’t feel like that was really explored as much. I think I like this album ‘cos it kind of ties in with things (mentioned above) I’m currently interested in, but maybe it feels a bit surface-y at times.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 016: Protect Your Extremities by Hannah Buckman

Quavo - Quavo Huncho Capitol / Mowtown / Quality Control, 12 October  Artwork: Mihailo Andic 

Selected by Conner Perry // IT020

I think my favourite music/design combo of this year has to be Quavo’s Quavo Huncho. Not only is it full of bangers, the cover by Mihailo Andic is just brilliant. It really sets itself apart from the Migo’s visuals and changes the way you listen to the record. Definitely check out the rest of his work, especially the stuff for Lil’ Yachty. 

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 020: Nice one bruva by Conner Perry

Parquet Courts - Wide Awake! Rough Trade, 18 May  Artwork: A. Savage

Selected by Holly St Clair // IT021

I was really late to the Parquet Courts party, but actually both of my initial encounters with their two recent releases have been solid arguments for the importance of decent album artwork. For both Wide Awake! and Human Performance I ran into - literally - the artwork before the music. Twice, two years apart, whilst wandering around London I turned a corner and came face to face with Adam Savage’s superb cover work. He smacked me in the face with poppy colours and amorphous dancing forms and I loved every moment. Add in an anarchic use of type and you’ve got me shouting, “Oh shit! A new Parquet Courts album!” to no one in particular outside an old meat market in Shoreditch.

A. Savage is both front man and painter and that adds a special flavour to the whole affair. Album marketing can be a laboured, commercially driven affair, there’s something authentic - a little DIY flavour - about this relationship between artwork and music. It’s a nice parallel to the musical throwbacks typical of the bands style. Wide Awake! dropped earlier this year and it’s fab. (Although, I love the artwork so much even if it was god awful I’d still buy the record and hang it on my wall.)

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 021: To: You, Love: Me by Holly St Clair

D.A.L.I - When Haro Met Sally Burning Witches, 23 May  Artwork: Luke Insect

Selected by Thomas Hedger // IT017

According to my recently played, I’ve been stuck on a pre-'90s loop. I've crept slowly into 2018's releases picking out albums like books - by their covers - and it really paid off! I don’t often delve into electronic but I love this album, it’s a perfect blend of hopping on your bike and hitting the tracks, nailing the look of how the album feels in all its haze. A solid sunny day good time.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 017: Sink by Thomas Hedger

Young Fathers - Cocoa Sugar Ninja Tune, 9 March  Artwork: Tom Hingston

Selected by Katie Chandler // IT003

This cover was immediately striking and memorable to me. Upon listening to the album, I found that the artwork resonated with this feeling of odd, unrestricted expression. It's a little unsettling, ultimately bold and intriguing. Much like the music, it feels hot and cool all at once, like a burst of energy that leaves you in a sweat. It's the exhilarating soundtrack to your runner's high, and you're not really sure why you're running or what you're running from.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 003: Porch Light by Katie Chandler

Gesu no Kiwami Otome (ゲスの極み乙女。) - Suki Nara Towanai (好きなら問わない) Taco Records, 29 August  Selected by Greg Stasiw // IT009

Although it’s not the ambient and electronic fare I usually enjoy, Suki Nara Towanai (好きなら問わない) by Gesu no Kiwami Otome. (ゲスの極み乙女。) is a hoot. The artwork features a stylized neon pachinko machine. Or maybe it’s a console in a rad indie pop spaceship, which would also make sense for this funky fresh group! It feels somehow familiar, somehow alien, and altogether really, really cool.

The neon suggests something retro, and there are some retro leanings in their funkier tracks, but it's definitely neon as seen in 2018. Modern pop (and J-Pop) tropes emerge, but infectious basslines, tight drumming, and smart keys make this album something special. Some math rock even surfaces at times, and the remix included proves that this group goes for whatever feels fresh. One look at the artwork reminds me that this is one of the funnest albums I've listened to in a while. “Funnest” is definitely a word when you’re talking about this band!

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 009: Atmospheres by Greg Stasiw

Aphex Twin - Collapse EP Warp, 14 September Artwork: Weirdcore

Selected by Alex Vissaridis // IT002

2018 was a great year if you grew up listening to the music I was into. Some of my all-time favourite artists released new stuff this year, and they didn’t disappoint. The artwork was pretty excellent too, but nothing grabbed my attention like the world created around Aphex Twin’s Collapse EP. Album art doesn’t seem to mean as much as it once did, so it’s always exciting when it appears outside of the little square on your screen in unexpected ways. 

This year, Aphex Twin logos appeared all over the world, from Elephant & Castle tube station to the side of a record store in Tokyo, designed in a way that made it look like the logo was collapsing into the environment around it. I’m a sucker for stuff like this; random cryptic messages that send internet detectives into a frenzy. It was eventually announced as marketing for the Collapse EP, but they kept the ‘collapsing logo’ visual going on the EP artwork, in the music video for the track ‘T69 collapse’, and even through to projection-mapped videos around London (again announced in typical smoke-and-mirrors fashion) and a collaboration with Crack magazine. Way more than just a collection of pixels.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 002: Tape Fuzz by Alex Vissaridis

Flohio - Wild Yout EP Alpha, 2 November Selected by Rachel Maughan // IT012

I got into Flohio after I saw her on COLORS in January with 'Band'. She's fucking explosive on that track, you can feel her spitting straight into your chest. She's been savvy with her producers and killed her work with God Colony - 'SE16' was my most played track of the year. Her 2018 EP, Wild Yout is a cocktail of perfection. 

Mashing up genres it's a high energy listen with punchy, grimey hip-hop that is uniquely South London. The artwork is beautiful simplicity - her achingly slick androgynous aesthetic, the clean photographic composition, with a flowing chain to bring it tightly back to SE. Gorgeous.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 012: High Rise by Rachel Maughan

Sudan Archives - Sink EP Stones Throw, 25 May Photography: Jack McKain Design: Jeff Jank

Selected By Tom J Newell // IT004

Sink submerges the listener in flowing loops and beats, with splashes of violin and vocals floating above the sunken monolith, which stands tall on the deep blue cover art. The composition is reminiscent of two of Jank’s other iconic Stones Throw sleeves, Donuts and Madvillainy and continues his striking yet varied art direction for the label.

Check out the ‘Nont For Sale’ video from the EP too, which adds powerful choreography and styling to create another successful visual accompaniment to the music. Much love to Sudan Archives and hats off to Jeff Jank. I painted a tribute to the cover art on a 12x12” piece of wood.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 004: FEAR. by Tom J Newell

Drinks - Hippo Lite Drag City, 20 April Selected by Molly Fairhurst // IT015

Hazy, dazed, an album I hold dearly to 2018 (and many strangely lit walks in a then new, unknown city).

A collaboration between Cate Le Bon and White Fence’s Tim Presley, the pair took an (isolated) retreat to St Hippolyte-Du-Fort in the south of France to record, frankly, crudely, seemingly, whatever the fuck they wanted to. Hippo Lite is born, a joyful, playful, sometimes quiet, sometimes screaming object.

What senses like an eavesdrop through closed doors rightly has a cover that can’t be quite understood- a narrow column of, at the glance of the reader, ‘nonsense’ notes, which flank photos of Le Bon and Presley. Both are snapshots of an absurd holiday we have been invited along to, so long as we sit across the table. A tender and private piece.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 015: The Wilder Woman by Molly Fairhurst

Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs - King of Cowards Rocket, 28 September Artwork: Sophy Hollington

Selected by Drew Milward // IT010

First off, this album is wall to wall, solid gold bangers. Kind of like the lovechild of The Fall and Black Sabbath, who has been cautioned by the police for possession of a massive bag of skunk, a bong in the shape of a skull and a copy of ‘The Holy Mountain’ on DVD. 

Aside from the fact it’s a full on riff-o-rama, the artwork by Sophy Hollington is absolutely incredible. It summons up the sound of the band, via folk horror infused wildness. It really captures the sonic landscape of the album, yet completely avoids any of the cliched imagery that could so easily have taken its place. It really is the whole package.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 010: BE GONE, YOU CREATIVE GREMLINS! by Drew Milward

Djrum - Portrait With Firewood R&S, 17 August Artwork: Michael Mitsas

Selected by Sam Ailey // IT001

Portrait With Firewood is one of those rare gems within the electronic genre - a true ‘album’. With holistic production, emotional range, and a captivating narrative, this really is a stunning listening experience from start to finish. Felix Manuel combines electronic and acoustic sounds seamlessly on this intimate record, with exceptional attention to detail in his sampling and tender piano sections played by Felix himself.

Michael Mistas’s cover art is a real departure from the typical design aesthetic of electronic albums and caught my attention straight away. I love its composition and rough, imperfect execution. To me these feels reflective of the range and depth of emotional states explored across the album, and the feeling that some things are easier to express through your craft than with words. Plus I’m a sucker for pink things.

➔ Listen to Illustrated Tapes 001: Quiet by Sam Ailey

[cjostrander]

Nine Inch Nails: Bad Witch

Hello everyone! I’ve ben facing some technical issues with my laptop which has been preventing me from putting out reviews last month. Since then i’ve been able to still get my hands on a bunch of newer albums and really need to start scratching a couple of them off of my list. This album is the final of what was supposed to be a trilogy of eps from Nine Inch Nails. From what i read the only reason that they decided to instead turn this into a full album was due to how thrown aside eps tend to be on promotion sites. He definitely isn’t wrong in that regard since they dont usually hold the same excitement on a listener as an album does when discovered. This one from what i have heard is going to be a very unique one in the band’s catalog. Trent Reznor actually has a second official band-mate in his group by the name of Atticus Ross. Musically it does have familiar Nine Inch Nails elements but seems to make the effort to display similarities to other artists that were in his field or admired. You will notice heavy comparisons to David Bowie’s final album “Blackstar” (i reviewed) and Radiohead. The David Bowie similarity was intentional due to his admiration of the late singer and previous work with him in the 90′s. Bare in mind also that due to its initial intention to be an ep; this is the shortest NIN album with only 6 songs and roughly a half hour of runtime. Knowing how full the band’s albums can feel at times; this may not be a bad thing but time will tell.

Shit Mirror: This opening track starts off with some aggressive loops or guitars; never sure which is which with this band lol. It warms itself with its initial rhythm and Trent infuses himself into the mix with a much rougher and muffled vocal style than usual and seems to give a very cluttered feeling on the song. The drums and interesting brass elements certainly will provide the listener with quite a bit of activity to focus on. The song does well in the notion that it establishes a nice party atmosphere for somebody to play in the background. Because of this it won’t capture heavy emphasis from the listener when focused directly on. I still find it to be an interesting opener for this album/ep experiment and hopefully leaves the listener with enough of an impression to carry further on into the album. 7/10

Ahead of Ourselves: Now this song begins with electronic drum loops and immediately screams 90′s era David Bowie. The reviews that i have read have referenced Bowie’s album Outside in particular but i personally feel this initial opening is more in tune to Bowie’s follow work Earthing (which i reviewed). This open seems energetic but pretty simple and Trent centers himself in the back of the mix to further build the electronic rhythm of the song. Brass makes an interesting return to this song but the strongest attention grabber is the aggressive drum bashing combined with harsh screams from Trent. This segment will bring fond memories of Trent’s aggressively gloomy style from his 90′s heyday. Like the previous song it comes off as a song meant to be played in the background rather than as a front and center piece. Definitely not a bad thing but if you were to try and over analyze it; the song is going to feel like it is more empty or formulaic than you may like. If you don’t like that kind of mindset then getting into this band may not be for you yet. I would still check Downward Spiral and With Teeth first before giving it a final decision; but so far this album should be complex enough to get you thinking about his work in general. 8/10

Play the Goddamned Part: This track begins with a low bass rhythm and a rather groovy electronic loop that will make it very interesting to dance along to and enjoy a drink over. Brass fades its way in much more blatantly than on the past songs and will bring further David Bowie elements into the album. This brass component is a very strong element in Bowie’s last album Blackstar so if you like this then make sure to check it out. This is an instrumental piece as well so you will definitely find yourself treated to a much stronger focus on complex instrumentals. I actually really like that he decided to bring brass here because his give’s then band slightly fresher sound and exposes a longtime fan to something risky and new; even if you can point out a few very blunt comparisons. 8/10

God Break Down the Door (Single): Now this is the first and probably only single for the album. Electronic loops and strong jazz drumming begins the song off on an energetic note. You almost don’t even notic that this the start of another song since this sounds like a natural progression of the last song so it gives a nice sense of unknowing fluidity to both songs. Trent experiments with a vocal style that bares elements of big band vocals (think Frank Sinatra) but is most likely another throwback to David Bowie’s style since it is very comparable to Bowie’s base vocal style. This style fits specifically for Bowie in his late 90′s era up to his death since he seemed to take on a more classical approach himself (vocally)  during this period. I definitely wouldn’t have picked it as a single for promotional purposes since nobody would think to guess that this is a Nine Inch Nails song. At the same time though; it is a good pick for single because it is just that; a song that isn’t what you’d bring to mind for Nine Inch Nails and showcases probably the biggest risk/experiment that the band takes on this album. That alone should be enough to help give this album a little extra substance to stand strong on. 8/10

I’m Not from This World: This is the second instrumental track on the album and arrives with an eerie extraterrestrial type sound. It is very soothing to the ears and will bring the listener into a rather deep state of relaxation and contemplation. It is a slow building piece so be patient since it is just under six minutes long. The next song is longer at just under 8 so the remaining tracks on the album are going to take their time to make sure you notice them. For an instrumental i really like this one since it brings forth a heavy dose of tension into the atmosphere and would be perfect for a soundtrack to a thriller film. Between the break for the ep project and the last album Hesitation Marks (i reviewed) Him and Atticus were focused on a bunch of film and tv soundtracks. I Believe this lengthy collaboration is what made Trent Reznor grow comfortable to name him as an actual member in the band since everyone before him barely was allowed input on record and were just for touring. Call it a douchebag move for Trent but it’s his project and vision so if he wanted to limit the scope that others could participate; it is entirely in his right and surely they knew what they were singing onto as well. 9/10

Over and Out: This finale piece begins with an 80′s like electronic rhythm and almost flirts with the concept of jazz qualities, Loop wise it has strong comparisons to both Nine Inch Nails’s earlier instrumentals and some of Radiohead’s work on King of Limbs and their Kid A/Amnesiac albums (i reviewed all three). Other than that this one definitely is another slow boil for the listener to focus on; though the softer chime interludes are very soothing and will leave much for the listener to contemplate over. Trent arrives vocally after the first three minutes to deliver more of his Bowie-styled vocals; which are basic but play heavy emphasis on building a deeply moving rhythm on the song. Lyrically substance will be hard to find but it gives a nice push for the instrumentals to liven up a bit. After this it fades away with a soft closing and leaves this short album feeling rather full in my opinion and completed as such. 7.5/10

Overall album rating: 7.9/10

Well this was interesting one to quickly put on and take off of my promotional list. It is short but as i said before his lengthier stuff has had the habit of being a but tiring at times due to the scope of what they have aimed for. This one certainly has that effect as well towards the end but provides to engaging listening music that is good to carry about you day to; party to; and to some small extent contemplate over. I would check it out after having acquired a firm taste for the band’s style since this album doesn’t go out of its way to try and win new fans over. It’s simply an enjoyable experiment that Trent wanted to do and in doing so put out music that he simply wanted to make; nothing more nothing less. Tomorrow i should be pounding out another album for review since i gotta keep up on my anniversary sheet since i haven’t really scratched much off of it this year. Enjoy your day everyone and i will see you next time!

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Behind The Album: A Moon Shaped Pool

Radiohead‘s ninth studio album was released in May 2016 through XL Recordings. Many of the tracks on the album had been written much earlier. The song “True Love Waits” goes all the way back to 1995, while it was also included on their live album, I Might Be Wrong. The band first conceived of “Burn the Witch” during their recording sessions for Kid A, while Thom Yorke actually performed the song “Present Tense” during a solo appearance in 2009. They had begun performing some of the tracks for this album as early as The King of Limbs tour in 2014. On that tour, they recorded two songs in Nashville, Tennessee, but the group eventually discarded both recordings deeming them too mediocre to keep. They began recording the actual album in September 2014 in Oxford with long time producer Nigel Godrich. The following year Radiohead moved to a studio in the south of France, La Fabrique. The facility had once been an art pigment mill, but now hosted the world's largest vinyl record collection. The band did not rehearse any of the new material at all before recording as Ed O’Brien said in an interview. “We just went straight into recording ... The sound emerged as we recorded." Rather than relying on computers, Godrich actually utilized analog equipment which meant they had the limitation of having to erase any previous take in order to record a new one. As Colin Greenwood observed, “It forces you to have to make decisions in the moment; it’s very much the opposite of having your album stored on a terabyte hard drive." Although analog was used, the group edited almost every track digitally. For example, Jonny Greenwood did so on the track “Piano Eyes” using the programming language Max. The song “Identikit” was created by manipulating several loops of Thom Yorke’s voice during The King of Limbs sessions. The song “Ful Stop” saw the group bring in an additional drummer Clive Deamer, who had previously worked with the band during the King of Limbs tour. The use of an orchestra was all arranged by Jonny Greenwood with the London Symphony Orchestra conducted by Hugh Brunt. On the day they recorded the string arrangement for “Burn the Witch,” Nigel Godrich’s father passed away. The producer would have this to say about his death. “I literally left him on a fucking table in my house and went and recorded. And it was a very, very emotional day for me. He was a string player as well so it was one of those things where it felt like he would want me to go and just do this." Around the same time, Thom Yorke would announce his separation from his longtime wife, Rachel Owen. She would die from cancer several months later. Yorke would later tell Rolling Stone, “There was a lot of difficult stuff going on at the time, and it was a tough time for us as people. It was a miracle that that record got made at all." Upon its release, A Moon Shaped Pool would be dedicated to Godrich’s father Vic and stagehand Scott Johnson, who had died in a 2012 concert accident. In the middle of recording the new album, Radiohead took a break to do a song for the James Bond movie, Spectre. The song of the same name would be rejected by the makers of the film as being too dark. Nigel Godrich would say, “That fucking James Bond movie threw us a massive curveball. It was a real waste of energy ... In terms of making A Moon Shaped Pool it caused a stop right when we were in the middle of it.” Jonny Greenwood would say that the actual itself was probably recorded in about two weeks.

The music On a Moon Shaped Pool puts together aspects of art rock, folk music, chamber music, and ambient music. As with their previous album The King of Limbs, they relied heavily on electronic music, but also included many more string arrangements than ever before. The Guardian would comment that the record represents a very stripped down sound from the band. The lyrics on the LP focus on love, forgiveness, and regret, which many critics believed was related to Yorke’s recent separation from Owen. Spencer Kornhaber of the Atlantic said that A Moon Shaped Pool "makes the most sense when heard as a document of a wrenching chapter for one human being.” Other themes include the climate on “The Numbers,” while “Burn the Witch” takes a look at the dangers of authority. Yorke would mention that he really disliked using clichés like the system is a lie, but would observe, "How else are you supposed to say 'the system is a lie'? Why bother hiding it? It's a lie. That's it." The Guardian would write that A Moon Shaped Pool may have accidentally become the official soundtrack to the Donald Trump presidency, even though Radiohead had no intention of doing so. On “The Numbers,” Yorke sings, “One day a time, mate, you will be impeached shortly, mate. You are not a leader, love … You can't sustain this. It's not gonna work. One day a time. We ain't stupid." Once again, Stanley Donwood did the artwork for the cover of the album as he first began creating it while in France listening to the band playing in another room as to inspire his work. The final product represented a new approach, where he kept his canvases outside, so the weather could affect the finished product.

A Moon Shaped Pool was originally released as a download directly from the Radiohead website, iTunes, Amazon, and other outlets. Physical CDs and vinyl would come out a month later in most countries. The album was made available on Spotify, which emerged as noteworthy because Nigel Godrich had criticized the streaming service for not supporting new artists in 2013. The band did have discussions with the company about possibly making this album available for premium users earlier than the general public, but nothing ever came of it. Very little promotion of the album took place after its release including no interviews and no tour previewing the material. Ed O’Brien later said, "We didn't want to talk about it being quite hard to make. We were quite fragile, and we needed to find our feet." In April 2016, the band would remove everything from their website and social media profiles to be replaced with blank images. The move was meant to symbolize that Radiohead would be returning. On the day of its release, BBC6 Radio played the album in its entirety throughout the day. A Moon Shaped Pool would go on to become the band's sixth number one album in the United Kingdom. In the United States, the record would debut at number three on the Billboard 200 charts. The record would be certified gold in both countries becoming their most successful album since Hail to the Thief. Most critics applauded the new album. USA Today would say that it had been “well worth the wait.” Rolling Stone would write that the record was both beautiful and “haunting”at the same time. New Musical Express would call the album eerie , while Allmusic said that it was a “melancholic comfort” record. Like many of the other reviews after its release, Pitchfork noted the terrible sadness within the music. The New York Times would go so far as to call the LP the darkest one Radiohead has ever released. Entertainment Weekly said that the record represented the band's most epic release since Kid A. Other reviews would often mention the excellent arrangements done by Jonny Greenwood for the tracks using strings. Not all of the reviews emerged as glowing recommendations of the record. Mike Diver of Quietus would have this to say, “Certain tracks feel less than fully fleshed out, really given the treatment that their age warrants ... There's simply so little spark here, barely glowing embers and blackened dust where once Radiohead blazed a fascinating, furious trail for others to attempt to follow." Ryan Kearney of New Republic would write an even harsher assessment of the album saying it is “no coincidence that the only moving song on the album, 'True Love Waits', was written two decades ago.” The Guardian remained highly critical over the fact that A Moon Shaped Pool seemed even more sad, then it really needed to be. The saving grace of the record is that it emerged as an improvement over The King of Limbs. The record would be nominated for a Mercury Prize at the end of the year marking the fifth album with that designation for the group. The album would also be nominated for a Grammy as Best Alternative Album, while “Burn the Witch” would be nominated for Best Rock Song. Many end of the year best of lists included the release like Entertainment Weekly, AV Club, Stereogum, Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, and more.

[kickdownthewalls]

Top 20 Non-Metal Albums of 2017

So, while my passion has long been heavy metal, there is so much other great music out there I felt it was worth my time to compile a list of the best of the rest. These twenty albums represent quite a number of genres, but they all share the quality of being awesome…

1. BLACK SEAGULL - Distant Lullabies

After the heart-breaking demise of one of my favorite band of the last two decades, On Trial, I was overjoyed to hear that a couple of ex-members had formed a new band called Black Seagull. While the sound is a bit more mellow and countrified, the songwriting quality is still top-notch and it sounds very much like a logical continuation of the Forever album.

2. ANVIL STRYKEZ - Anvil Strykez

My first impression was this would be a half-assed synthwave late-comer, based on the name, song titles, and album art, but damn if this isn’t one of the most thoroughly engaging albums all around. Vocoded vocals, pure 80s synth and drum machines, well-placed guitars, and a completely memorable and different approach for each tune add up to one hell of a spin.

3. DEPECHE MODE - Spirit

The past few Mode records have been consistently good, if not quite as memorable as Playing the Angel or any of the classics. Spirit is a different beast and my favorite album of theirs since Songs of Faith and Devotion way back in in ’93. The songs “Going Backwards” and “Where’s the Revolution” rank right up there with anything they have penned and the lyrics throughout the album are the perfect reflection of our current state of devolved world affairs.

4. POPPY - poppy.computer

It’s happening again. Some things are weird. Let’s appreciate together. Am I doing this right? Someone sent me this. Can you see it? These are cotton swabs. Poppy loves politics. You are Poppy. I’m Poppy. Everybody wants to be Poppy, Poppy.

5. SNIFF 'N' THE TEARS - Random Elements

One of those groups that, save for one big top-40 hit back in 1979, has flown under the radar but consistently released top-notch albums over the years. Paul Roberts is the singer/songwriter that has helmed the group since the start (and even paints all the album covers) and he still sounds as unique as ever. He writes songs that have a certain melancholy to them that has always struck a chord with me and Random Elements is full of them.

6. DANCE WITH THE DEAD - B-Sides: Volume 1

While synthwave acts like GosT and Carpenter Brut have made a considerable number of fans among metalheads, Dance With the Dead goes the furthest in actually combining the styles. Retro synth lines are still the dominant feature but the chugging, thrashy riffs are nearly as omnipresent and the band add some very well-placed (and well-played) guitar solos on many tracks. This is their latest and they have only gone from strength to strength.

7. THE HAXANS - Party Monsters

This is the kind of thing I would usually roll my eyes at and dismiss straight away but this duo has put together a collection of songs that are so infectious, I can’t stop listening to it. It is the perfect mix of death punk, pop, and Rob Zombie-eque horror metal. Vocalist Ashley Costello is a real gem, too, delivering the campy lyrics with the perfect mix of sensuality and power.

8. KMFDM - Hell Yeah

These die-hard industrial rockers have been releasing slight variations on the same album for the past 25 years or so but, hey, it’s a fucking great album. Hell Yeah isn’t quite up there with WTF?! or WWIII but it’s better than the last couple and their revolutionary calls to action have never been timelier.

9. THE NIGHT FLIGHT ORCHESTRA - Amber Galactic

When it comes to paying tribute to classic AOR from the 70s and 80s, no one does it better and with more enthusiasm than The Night Flight Orchestra. Amber Galactic is not as consistently brilliant as the first two albums but it is still great and the song “Domino” is an instant classic.

10. SIINAI - Sykli

This is Finnish ambient space trance. Repetitive, hypnotic electronics, looping guitars - it’s the perfect soundtrack for some meditation or that long, slow flight into the night. I’m always looking for chill stuff like this that works and, damn, this is executed with utmost perfection.

11. CHEAP TRICK - We're All Alright!

While Cheap Trick made some pretty mediocre records in the 80s and 90s, their 70s albums all stand up as classics and they have done some good work in recent years, too, most notably 2009’s The Latest. We’re All Alright! might be even better and the first half in particular is loaded with some well-crafted and hard rocking tunes.

12. CURSED MOON - Rite of Darkness

This album positively reeks of early-80s death rock in all the best ways. You’ve got driving basslines, reverby guitars, and gloomy synths, with the added bonus of gruff vocals that are more in the vein of early black or death metal. Not a ton of variety from song to song but it’s a highly enjoyable sound that works for a full album.

13. THE MOON AND THE NIGHT SPIRIT - Metanoia

This is a cool Hungarian duo that has been around for a good 15 years now. They make a very enchanting brand of folky darkwave with dreamy melodies and ethereal vocals. This is the first time I have had a chance to hear them since I fell in love with their 2011 album Mohalepte a few years back and I’m pleased to report they haven’t lost any of their charms.

14. LEGEND - Midnight Champion

Duo from Iceland that manages to capture the vibe and quality of classic industrial-rock and infuse it with modern and rather epic touches. The songs don’t just kick in and race to a catchy chorus; you have to be patient. The payoff is always worth it, though, and each songs follows its own dramatic course.

15. ADRENALINE RUSH - Soul Survivor

The debut from these Swedish hard rockers back in 2014 was a captivating collection of tunes that lived up to the band’s name. Soul Survivor is not quite as consistently good but it still has some damn fine tracks. The sound is big, melodic and surprisingly metal at times, with Tave Wanning’s vocals adding a great deal of charm, passion, and distinctiveness to the proceedings.

16. JESUS AND MARY CHAIN - Damage and Joy

I’ll admit I never paid much attention to these Scotts until the Automatic album came out and blew me away. Sadly, they seem to have slowly disintegrated after that, but after a lengthy break, they managed to return with one hell of a comeback record. Damage and Joy has some of the feedback from the early years, some of the electronics of the later years, and all of the sardonic humor and Velvet Underground chord progressions you would hope for.

17. BLONDIE - Pollinator

Blondie has had some good tunes since their reunion in 1999 but this is the first album where nearly every track is a winner. The three most important contributors to the band’s sound - Debbie Harry, guitarist Chris Stein, and drummer Clem Burke - are all still intact and in great form.

18. BLACK MARE - Death Magick Mother

This is the solo project from Sera Timms, the lead vocalist of Ides of Gemini. Here she takes a far more traditional gothic tone with the music, while her vocals take on an even more ethereal feel than in Ides. No individual song really stands out but it all works together beautifully as a complete album.

19. RAINBOWLICKER - I Saw The Light But Turned It Off

My first listen to this Finnish outfit was truly one of those WTF moments. Elements of punk, electro, chiptune, industrial and goth all merge together with some suitably peculiar, snotty vocals to make a fresh sound that is at once annoying and endearing.

20. TARJA - From Spirits and Ghosts (Score for a Dark Christmas)

Christmas albums have a tendency to be either too campy or too cliched for their own good. Tarja instead presents a collection of traditional (and one original) tunes done up in a suitably dramatic and darkly original fashion. While her solo rock albums have left me rather flat, I love her voice and the orchestral pairing is simply gorgeous. No one sounds like Tarja, no matter how hard they try.

Some more bands with great releases in 2017 to check out if you are curious: AGUSA, BARDSPEC, CAMERATA MEDIOLANENS, DAN TERMINUS, FLAMES OF GENESIS, GALLEY BEGGAR, IIVII, KESHA, L.A. WITCH, LIVING COLOUR, PERTURBATOR, ROPE SECT, SOROR DOLOROSA, and UFFE LORENZEN.

[melodythefriendlyghost-blog]

Spooky tv for spooky littles

Fair warning! Some shows/movies may be a bit scary depending on your little age, I tried to put in all the tv ratings as well as if I personally think it gets scary 🥺👉👈 (also some shows/movies may still be on my watch list but I think they match the theme! I am sorry if they don't!)

Also another quick note, I may add more later! My lists are a bit of a mess so I'm super sorry if I missed anything!

Hulu

The Furchester Hotel: TV Rating - TV-Y

This is a spinoff of Sesame Street, there's two season with each episode around 12 minutes long! It's very easy to watch and is mainly in this category for the monsters!

Sesame Street: TV Rating - TV-Y

I can't mention The Furchester Hotel and not mention Sesame Street! They have seasons 35 to 40 and each episode is around an hour long, this is also in this category for the monsters and the count of course!

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends: TV Rating - TV-G

There's 6 seasons and in is this category for the monsters too! I used to watch it lots and remember some parts used to seem a bit scary to me so if you scare easy be careful!

Gravity Falls: TV Rating - TV-Y7

Both seasons are on here with each episode is about 23 minutes long (excluding the final one), it can get scary in some parts (specially with the final episodes) so I wouldn't recommend if you regress to a very young age! It is still super fun and has a huge mystery part, it is in this category for the monsters and summerween of course!

Curious George: A Halloween Boo Fest: TV Rating - Unknown (Under Family?)

This movie is 57 minutes long so it's not too long of a movie if you get distracted easy or are super busy! I haven't watched it yet so it's in this category due to it being halloween related!

Netflix

What's New Scooby-Doo?: TV Rating - TV-Y7

There's 3 seasons with 14 episodes each which are about 21 minutes long! It's in this category because they chase around ghouls and find out who the bad guy really is, I used to watch it a lot as a kid and always found it and the original very comforting.

DreamWorks Spooky Stories: TV Rating - TV-PG

Shrek and his friends tell scary stories together, it can get spooky at some parts so be careful if you get easily scared. There's another volume (each having one season) and the episode lengths are different per episode 😅 I honestly love watching the stories specially during halloween!

Hotel Translyvania The Series: TV Rating - TV-Y7

I haven't watched it yet but from the description it follows Mavis around! There's only one season (26 episodes) with each episode being around 22 minutes long!

Super Monsters: TV Rating - TV-Y

There's three seasons (the last two having 6 episodes) with each episode being around 23 minutes long. It's about the preschool kids of world famous monsters! They have some movies too which I may mention, I haven't personally watched them yet but I plan on it!

Goosebumps: TV Rating - TV-G

They have four seasons and some specials, the episode lengths are different each time. It can be a bit spooky (I remember I used to cry over some episodes) so be prepared if you get scaried easily, I personally still enjoy it despite getting a bit spooked but it's still good while regressed and big!

My Babysitter's A Vampire: TV Rating - TV-PG

I personally haven't watched it yet but there's two seasons with 13 episodes with each being about 22 minutes long! I am adding it in because of vampires so I am sorry if it get super spooky 🥺👉👈

Monster Math Squad: TV Rating - TV-Y

It's about three monsters solving problems with math! There's two seasons with each episode being about 12 minutes long. I put it in here because of the monsters!

Room on the Broom: TV Rating - TV-Y7

It's a movie about a nice witch who offers rides to animals 🥺 it's 25 minutes long (and I'm watching it tonight yay :3)

Monster Family: TV Rating - TV-PG

It is 1 hour and 33 minutes long, it's about a family who gets turned into a bunch of monsters. I haven't watched it yet but I am planning on it!

The Little Vampire: TV Rating - TV-G

The movie is 1 hour and 22 minutes long, this is another I've been meaning to watch (I'm sorry 😅)

Monster High New Ghoul at School: TV Rating - TV-Y

This movie is 23 minutes long, I love monster high and have loved it for a long time so the next following reccomendations will be monster high related. The movie is about Frankie Stein trying to fit in at Monster High!

Welcome to Monster High: TV Rating - TV-Y7

The movie is 1 hour and 13 minutes long, it follows Draculaura trying to create a new type of school for monsters to be themselves!

Monster High Electrified: TV Rating - TV-Y

The movie is 1 hour and 11 minutes long, it's about Clawdeen trying to turn an abandonded power station into a hair salon for monsters and "normies" but someone tries to scare the humans.

Monster High Great Scarrier Reef: TV Rating - TV-Y7

It's 1 hour and 11 minutes long, the monsters get sucked into the reef and Lagona has to help them!

Pocoyo Halloween: Space Halloween: TV Rating - TV-Y

It's 39 minutes long, I personally haven't watched it yet but the style looks cute and I put it in here because of halloween!

Pocoyo Halloween: Spooky Movies: TV Rating - TV-Y

I found this one while looking through my list, it's 21 minutes long and I think it goes with the one above!

Pac's Scary Halloween: TV Rating - TV-Y7

It's 44 minutes long and again I haven't watched it yet but I like some pacman stuff and thought it would fit cause halloween 🥺👉👈

Oddbods Party Monsters: TV Rating - TV-Y

This is 23 minutes long, I think there's a series or a series of movies at least for this but the oddbods get swapped into their dressed as which sounds kinda funny but I put it in here cause it's halloween related!

Hulk Where Monsters Dwell: TV Rating - TV-PG

The movie is 1 hour and 15 minutes long, Hulk and Dr. Strange battle monsters on halloween. It may be a bit scary so I am sorry in advanced!

Dear Dracula: TV Rating - TV-Y

The movie is 43 minutes long, it's about a boy who writes to his hero (Dracula) and finds out he needs his help!

Super Monsters Save Halloween: TV Rating - TV-Y

It's 24 minutes long and though I haven't watched it I couldn't leave it out because it has halloween in the title!

Disney+

Vampirina: TV Rating - TV-Y

From what I've watched so far it's super adorable, it's about a vampire and her family moving from Transylvania to Pennsylvania and she tries to make new friends. It has two seasons each with 25 episodes and being around 25 minutes long, it has honestly become one of the shows I fall asleep watching because it is very comforting.

Vampirina Ghoul Girls Rock!: TV Rating - TV-Y7

I haven't watched this one yet but this is a cartoon version where Vampirina and her friends start a band! There's two seasons and I think it would be good for those who like spooky and music while regressed. There's two seasons with the episodes around 4 minutes long so I think they're little music videos(?)

Gravity Falls: TV Rating - TV-Y7

I've already mentioned this before but the reason I'm mentioning it again is the short series below :3 Also please keep in mind it may get spooky at some bits

Gravity Falls Shorts: TV Rating - TV-G

There's one season with the episodes around three minutes long, it's like the characters have their own little web series (I personally love Mabel's episodes!). I highly reccomend it

Henry HuggleMonster: TV Rating - TV-Y

I have been meaning to watch this but there's two seasons with the episodes around 25 minutes long (yes I added this because monster was in the name 😅). If you like monsters maybe you'll like this series!

Wizards of Waverly Place: TV Rating - TV-G

I watched this when it first came out and was obsessed with it, I highly reccomend it (please watch it 🥺). It has lots of magic and later on mentions vampires and werewolves but if that scares you then just be careful!

Frankenweenie: TV Rating - TV-PG

The movie is 1 hour and 27 minutes long, it can be a bit sad and spooky from what I remember but it's about a boy named Victor who brings his dog back to life. I am pretty sure I cried a lot when I first saw it but I am very sensitive when it comes to animals and death (even if it is animated/not real 😅)

The Haunted Mansion: TV Rating - TV-PG

The movie is 1 hour and 29 minutes long, it's about the Haunted Mansion of course! I used to love (and still love) the Disney movies revolving their rides, just be careful cause it can get a bit spooky and has some screaming/mention of death from what I remember.

Halloweentown: TV Rating - TV-PG

The movie is 1 hour and 24 minutes long, it's about young kids who find out about Halloweentown and stop bad guys from taking over the monsters home if I remember right. I was a bit spooked of it the first time I watched it due to a few parts but it's really fun to watch specially around Halloween time, I think they also have the sequels too!

Monsters Inc.: TV Rating - TV-G

It's 1 hour and 32 minutes long and honestly one of my favourite movies, it can be a bit spooky with the screams and at some parts but it isn't too bad!

Monsters University: TV Rating - TV-G

It's 1 hour and 43 minutes long but it's worth it in my opinion! I had to add this cause I feel like they go together super well (obviously) but in any order really, also I feel like it would be nice to watch both on a rainy day or just to relax.

The Nightmare Before Christmas: TV Rating - TV-PG

I have to add it in, it's one of the movies I love to watch constantly and I love listening to the soundtrack on loop when I get a bit upset. It's 1 hour and 17 minutes long, it can be a bit spooky at some parts so be careful please!

YouTube

Monster High: TV Rating - ?

I found some Monster High stuff on youtube (Playlist 1, Playlist 2, Channel) and thought it may be even a tiny bit helpful 🥺👉👈

Gravity Falls Shorts: TV Rating - TV-G

I also found a playlist of some of the shorts on youtube (Playlist), I think that's actually how I first found out about Gravity Falls!

Sesame Street: TV Rating - TV-Y

Here's their youtube channel (Channel), they have a lot of good stuff on it and even some meditation like stuff! It honestly helps me get little and makes me feel safe, I would reccomend subscribing or just keeping a tab open for when you feel a bit overwhelmed.

Yo Gabba Gabba: TV Rating - ?

So I may be adding this because apperantly the characters are monsters (I could be wrong, I am super sorry if I am!) but here's the youtube channel and a season 1 playlist! (Channel, Playlist)

PBS Kids App

Sesame Street: TV Rating - TV-Y

I can't mention Sesame Street and not mention the PBS Kids app! You can watch some full episodes (I think they rotate every week), live tv, and it's completely free. They also have a game app too which is super fun and free as well!

Esme & Roy: TV Rating - ?

This is from the Sesame Street workshop, the animation style looks super cute and you can watch some full episodes on the app. I haven't watched it fully yet but I think it'll be good!

Note - Here's the links to get the pbs kids apps (Google Play, Apple, Amazon)

I hope this was helpful! (I'll add more later!)

<3 - melodythefriendlyghost

[coralshort]

I had a very busy end of summer pulling together the giant annual fundraiser Witch Rave successfully after a dramatic spooky lightening storm!  This year’s event was co-organized this year with best friends and artists: Alex Tsoli, Jean P’ark, Orion Twinkle and Winnie SuperHova. Together with the community we again miraculously raised thousands to provide an opportunity for many talented artists to participate in Murmurs. Thank you to the almost 1,000 people who came out to support this fundraiser. Murmurs was the first queer sound art residency in the world. With organizers and BetOnest director Yoav Adamoni – we were 31 that filled the art hotel! The largest event ever in the space and ColorBlock joined us for a big party making it the funnest party of 2018 at the new residency space.

The amazing artists who participated in the residency were:

Pêdra Costa

Ze Royale

Henry Wilde

 NeoNeoneo Hülcker

Hannah Levin

Lyd AD.

Gee

Zinzi Buchanan aka Zi Ro Buch

Lady Gaby

Mikatsiu Høres

Lori Elisabeth

Luiza Moraes

 Gambletron

Johnny Forever

Miriam Schickler

Vincent aka Consumer-Refund

Lulu

Aisha Sasha John

Lydia Miligkou

Antigoni Tsagkaropoulou

Maa Yaa

Alex Alvina Chamberland

Caitlin Fischer

Sherry Ostpovitch

Vera Hofmann

Sophie W. Pagliai

Here are some photos from the beautiful Murmurs residency:

—————————————————————————————————————————————–Two weeks later my partner Ryan Backer and I took the train to Amsterdam and biked around a lot in all sorts of weather. We went to the Art Deco Sauna to warm up and relax which was incredible!  Then I curated Genderclear at Transcreen.

This is one of my favourite bills of my life. It was carefully juried by friends Angel Ka, Anna Helme, Nabeela Vega, Raven Davis, Russell Louder and Ryan Patrick Backer.

Jespa Jacob Smith, Anakin Tora,Brettley Kai and Wyatt Riot were in attendance which was such a total delight. This program was funded by Senatsverwaltung für Kultur und Europa

Video artists on the bill: Jespa Jacob Smith, Justin Shoulder & Bhenji Ra, SATURN, Mitch Mitchell, Erum Khan, Anakin Tora, JJ Levine , Brettley Kai and Wyatt Riot, Namita Aavriti, Thirza Cuthand, Buzz Slutsky, Kinga and Winnie Superhova, Max Rocha, Kübra Varol, Isaiah Lawrence, Lene Ricarda Vollhardt and Luce Delire and HYENAZ

After trip the next weekend this Ryan Backer and I had an ecosexual commitment ceremony/ ritual in the light rain in a forest led by my platonic wyfe performance artist and porn star Sadie Lune. This event took place at Quecke with our 20 closest Berlin friends in attendance followed by a giant feast.

—————————————————————————————————————————————–While gardening at the Tauenblau estate in October, I got to spend some time back at BetOnest with some great artists from New York, Glasgow, Montreal and Philly that I have had the joy to work with before: Hannah Levin, Ben Owns, Nash Glynn, Stephanie Creaghan and Evie Snax! Also I got to meet and listen to inspiring stories from Yoshiko Chuma for my first time.

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I worked at the Berlin Porn Film Festival in October 10 hours a day again running the Spektrum Venue with Alex Tsoli for almost a week. I curated the last of the Berlin Series of 2017 called FEAST on loop in the lobby of the Spektrum – art science community. Many of the artists were here for the festival Theo Meow, Candy Flip, Lori Elisabeth, Cybee Bloss and AORTA films which was exciting.

FEAST An experimental short film curation on loop Coral serves up the best in food porn mixed in with a sprinkling of high art for you to devour. These hedonistic video artists gorge on fruit, picnics, bodies, hot dogs, cakes, candy, and last but not least gallons of milk. Get some food to go and come sit at the Spektrum to spend some quality time chewing and swallowing these beautiful and visceral videos in between screenings. Headphones will be provided for this sumptuous overindulgence. A generous helping of thanks to Zachary Hutchinson, Cybee Bloss, Anna Luisa Petrisko, Nabeela Vega and Ryan Backer for ideas and support with this curation. This delicious experience is free of charge!

Kailey Bryan and Pepa Chan Eat Your Heart Out .56 Over four hours they feed each other a seven course meal. Gestures range from smirking and silly to hurtful and aggressive. Attentiveness gives way to laziness; resentment builds. As carelessness action becomes malicious, the performers feel the weight of their own callousness. Tenderness re-emerges. With each bite they contend with their impulses and suffer the emotional consequences of their actions. Sometimes we hurt each other out of ignorance. Silly, attentive, callous, malicious, and sorrowful, this durational performance is a quiet but high-octane emotional ride. World Premiere

D.S. Chapman Mending 4.01 Through a reflective performance, the artist alludes to the reparative nature of transitioning their body. Confronted with a subtle, visual break with reality, the viewer is asked to navigate and mitigate their relationship to the perceived trauma that has been done and is being subsequently undone in the video. European Premiere

Claire Arctander Feeding Time 2.25 Feeding Time is a pithy, sexy video that feels raw but is ultimately G-rated. The artist plays an intentionally ambiguous role – is she top or bottom, commanding or commanded? European Premiere

Asaf Aharonson, Chih Ying, Josephine Beckers, Kasia Wolinska, Konstantine,Martin Hansen Asia Tickler: on fruits and phantasy 3.26 Human and fruit relations enjoy a long and entangled history with notions of the erotic, from ancient Greek hedonisms to subliminally suggestive works of European art from the Middle Ages to twentieth century performance art. Most honourably, fruit nourishes our bodies. Asia Tickler draws attention to the tactile limits of human bodies with fruit, exploring pleasure in various encounters of absurdist ‘waste’. European premiere

Yoshie Sakai Come one eat all 4.54 In the video piece Come One, Eat All (2007), I concoct my own cultural icon as an animated “adult-girl” doll child, whose only objective is to endlessly and tirelessly eat fast food (McDonald’s French fries and Kentucky Fried Chicken) and junk food (Lay’s potato chips, powdered donuts, chocolate bars, and M&Ms) at a frenetic pace, as moving images of amusement park rides sped up considerably cause a mesmerizing and nauseating sensation for the viewer. Along with the creepy soundtrack “Carnival of Souls” by Combustible Edison and screaming noises from the people on the rides, I attempt to convey the vicious cycle of dizzying consumption and the irrepressible nature of overindulgence unnaturally forced upon us by the marketplace. European Premiere

Devyn Manibo Sediment 002 5.34 Part of a series of durational, visual, and textural experiments which uses rice to explore the materiality of grief, memory, and accumulation World Premiere

Nabeela Vega Thahab-Papaya 3.33 Part of an ongoing project: “Visiting Thahab” Visiting Thahab investigates the identity of a Muslim American femme in the post 9/11 diaspora. It takes forms that are performative, collaborative, generous, vulnerable, and exquisitely beautiful. World Premiere

LAZY MOM Hungry Hungry Hot Dog 2.34 Based on the children’s book “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” this stop motion animation features a ravenous sausage wiggling its way through junk food on a coming-of-age journey. European Premiere

Glitter Hangover Rub 1.29 Glitter Hangover, acoustic Peaches cover band, presents their debut music video, Rub. We are frivolous, camp, and queer. Our work is about subversive pleasure and building temporary communities. It’s low-tech, DIY and offers space for revelry. German Premiere

Sister Mantos Last Night (Mirror Mirror Remix) 3.23 Video directed and edited by David Riley Photography by Benjamin Gallardo Set design by R. Kelsey Hall Shrimp headgear by Andytoad

Meow Meow Calamares 3.43 Slimy octopus dream sequence. Remember: You always eat the ones you love. Starring Candy Flip, camera by Theo Meow

Star Kim (aka Cho Mihee, aka Kimura Byol, aka Nathalie Lemoine) 2017-bap-bob Gender fluid made of bap (cooked rice) juice… bibiming (mixing) bap for bob … who is gender fluid. 1.40 World Premiere

Natalie Valencia Gluttony 1.26 World Premiere

Jacqueline Mary and Violette Dentata Girl with the Most Cake 1.13 Two femmes get wild with cake.

Cybee Bloss Squirt 30 seconds World Premiere

Sarah Hill and Hayley Morgenstern Eat THAT! Poison Apple 9.24 In Hayley Morgenstein’s performance of Snow White’s poison scene, she feasts instead of sleeps, gluttonously eating not one but several apples. My version of Snow White gorges herself on Poison Apples, gnashing and gnawing them into pieces, obliterating her potential destruction, letting apple pieces and juices stream out of her mouth, rendered defective, void of power. This gesture activates my own feminist refusal to be saved; to reject the position of having-to-be-saved, or participate in the heteronormative economy of “saving” European Premiere

AORTA films MILLK BURLESQUE 4.03 In MILLK BURLESQUE, Parts Authority, Erykah Ohms, and Ginny Woolf ceremonially edge us towards The OH Files’ climatic money shot. Honoring their cyborg sexualities with the consumption of MILLK (a white viscus substance used to fuel their post-human transition) the three begin to bend time with their erotic power, letting the wet, white viscosity flow freely forward, splashing down their bodies and dripping from their mouths. World Premiere

TOTAL 50.22

My performance work Guardian was in a book called Desire Change and in a talk. Photo by Lisa Graves. This image was taken at a contemporary art lecture at Concordia University in Montreal by Heather Davis. photo Christeen Francis.

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In new news Future Visions is in the Queer Arts Festival this June! And we are looking for new submissions if you or someone you know would like to make a minute future prediction by video and upload it to Vimeo or Youtube.

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Here is my newest submission call for this year’s 5 brand new video and performance art curations. Please check out the fb event here. I am curating with and alongside wonderful organizations and people again this year!

  Over the holidays I paid all the artists from last year who screened in the Berlin series I curated –  115 international video artists! I have transferred all the grant money out to these talented individuals. Thank you for being part of this epic project and to the Senatsverwaltung für Kultur und Europa for this amazing funding for all of us.

For my relaxed New Year’s Resolution I will be creating a video performance series with trees and plants. I wish to take some sacred time to be more still and intimate with and in nature. Follow me on instagram to enjoy this video series shot by myself and close friends.  I am going back to my performance art roots and building on ecosexual and earth art projects from the past that I created in the United States between 2011-2015.

  Venice, Berlin, Amsterdam! I had a very busy end of summer pulling together the giant annual fundraiser Witch Rave…