#been excited to post this announcement because I've got some other exciting stuff coming up in terms of posting

[julnites]

General commissions are BACK!

Would you like some art of a character of yours, something for a friend or maybe even... something for an enemy? Well I've got you covered! I draw most things aside from explicit nudity and heavy gore so if you have any questions as to if I'll draw something, don't hesitate to ask!

I look forward to hearing from you! Take care and stay safe out there

Link to the form here!

[kaeyachi]

I completed Paralogism just now. Here are my Kaeya thoughts

It's all Kaeya talk. Lore is scrumptious though. Genuinely blew my mind coz this quest went hard with it. The thing is, I was multitasking at work just to finish this quest today, and you best bet I'll still be too busy to actually talk about the GOATED lore. I could make a lore post at a later date, but for now, that takes too much time (coz I double check stuff), so I decided to just talk about the character I'm passionate about. Gushing about Kaeya? That comes easy because it's from the heart. Here's the Kaeya thoughts for GI 5.6 Paralogism:

Kaeya would have been a great lawyer confirmed...HAD THEY ALL NOT HAVE BEEN ACTING THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME

THE ENTIRE LEADING OFFICERS OF THE KOF + VENTI AND DAHLIA. PLANNING ALL OF THIS FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS WITHOUT US REALIZING. THATS CRAZY

Kaeya planned for Hertha to be the one replaced by a fake btw...what next? did he write the script too?! OTL

and mind you, Vile, his most notable informant, was just out there in the streets while Mond was getting attacked...did she get caught up in a bad time or...

segway before I go back to Kaeya, but Mondstadt is stacked with powerhouses. They were all chill. They have a Klee and a Noelle (and a Lisa, and a Diluc-) *shrugs*

speaking of, Diluc did it again. An abyss creature tried to hurt Kaeya, but Diluc just charges out of nowhere to protect him. Kaeya was the most chill person ever in this entire quest, I'm not even kidding (but the pun is very intended). Even the way he stood! IT WAS CHILL AF because his "enthusiastic civilian" companion is there to slam his claymore before Kaeya could even blink

Corrupted(? poisoned? fake?) Donna you will be missed, I wish hoyo gave you the opportunity to sing more melodies about Kaeya's beauty. If we had a nickel every time someone canonically gets a crush on Kaeya...

Kaeya is so pretty this entire quest btw. I see him daily, but his aura in the courtroom is *chefs kiss*. I think it's the serious energy he had kept the entire trial that made me go "whoah"

By the way, the fact that Diluc wasn't even in on it at first, but figured it out on the first trial, not because the fakes were acting out of character, but because... *squints* Kaeya wasn't nervous??? huh??

Diluc. Diluc, darling, hold my hand for a moment now. Mr. Ragnvindr, I theorized that Kaeya has anxiety on the reg. I even posted it an HC fic some time ago about it...are you telling me...KAEYA MIGHT ACTUALLY BE AN ANXIOUS PERSON? THE SOFT, UNSURE VOICE FROM VELURIYAM MIRAGE IS FAR MORE COMMON (probably in the past) THAN WE THOUGHT?

Also, Kaeya and Diluc's relationship seemed to have improved again because they are spending windblume together! Kaeya looks so animated as he chatted with Diluc on their way out of Mondstadt's gates (assuming they will be going to Dawn Winery to celebrate? 🥺). Lowkey reminded me of an excited kid

Cute new factoid! He is the captain of the 9th Company. Gonna utilize that somewhere somehow. (btw i am also shocked that Mond kept 7 captains in Mondstadt? Where are the other 3? With Varka I hope?)

Just realized the quest is called Paralogism because Mond deceived our asses the same way the fakes also deceived our asses. It was a festival of deception 😤 THEY DIDNT REALLY NEED US BY THE WAY. WE WERE JUST A BONUS. MOND CONTINUES TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THEMSELVES JUST FINE. THEIR ARCHON CAN USE WIND AS A WALKIE-TALKIE CMON NOW.

one more thing, but Albedo and Venti being worried about the truth about Albedo being Rhinedottir's son because the people could lose trust in him... I just pictured what would happen to Kaeya if it were his secret that got out... the angst potential in that...

Aaaand that is all for now. Mind you, I absolutely enjoyed Natlan (the 2nd AQ is impressive, and the world quest is, dare I say, the best one I've ever done), but DAMN did I genuinely miss Mondstadt. I missed it so much that I cried for a bit after seeing the announcement that the 5.6 AQ is for Mondstadt. It really is my home, and my heart feels lighter now that I was able to go back and see how the nation that welcomed me continues to thrive. I know this peace isn't forever for Mondstadt, knowing how they put all the characters with sus and interesting lore there (and the land itself is curious), but for now, I get to see the characters that introduced me to the game living their lives and having fun, and some visibly healing from their past issues.

[mrs-gauche]

Hey guys! 🙂 It's the end of 2024 and I realized today I haven't posted on here since finishing Veilguard.

Well, to make it short.. since then, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, replaying it, watching my friends who are DA casuals and not into fandom play it (which was very enlightening but also hilarious 😂), so now.. I feel like I'm at a point where I know exactly what my issues with this game are and I've made peace with it. I still love Dragon Age! And I love parts of Veilguard and I had a ton of fun playing it (though probably for all the wrong reasons 🥲). When I first finished the game, I cried tears of happiness that after ten years my favorite character actually somehow got a beautiful Happy Ending and closure, but also tears of sorrow that this marks the end of the story that was set up back in 2009.. and tears of mourning that this story had all the potential to be so so SO much more.

Dragon Age is a very weird franchise in that all the games have been, in many ways, vastly different from each other and to be a fan of the whole series means to recognize all its flaws and changes, but still loving it because of its unique core elements that glue it together and make it so special. I could sit here for hours trying to put into words what I think went wrong with Veilguard, but I know many people have already done so far more eloquently than I ever could. This blog was always meant to be just a positive little corner to share my love for these games and silly VA stuff with other people and I'm sure I will eventually reblog all the two million posts I've liked over the past month, both positive and critical. But for now and the new year, I want to focus my time and energy on just being creative, getting back to drawing and trying to realize ideas about DA I've had for a looong time and that's my way of "emotionally recovering" (that sounds so dramatic 😂). 💜

With that being said... What a crazy decade year it has been for me personally in this fandom... So I want to look back at it, just some rambling under the cut, 'cause I'm a little sentimental now, I guess. 🥲

Before I created this blog, I was mostly just a lurker on here for many years, despite being a fan of BioWare games since.. uh.. forever? lol But I was always waaay too insecure about my English, let alone my own art. I also have social anxiety, so maybe that was part of the reason why I decided to finally create this blog at a time when the fandom was at its most dormant? lol (There is also a whole separate post for another day about how Mass Effect influenced me personally and how it made my biggest dream come true, the enormous honor to voice a few NPCs in (the German version of) Andromeda. Still the craziest thing to ever happen to me. lol)

So, seeing all the crazy excitement and the fandom fully revived this year and all these months leading up to Veilguard was both incredibly overwhelming, but also the most fun I've ever had as being part of a fandom! This year also marked the first time I posted my own art online and I can't even put into words how crazy it was seeing the response to that and I still can't believe that Trick Weekes not only commented on but also reposted it, that is still f*cking insane to me and I'll never forget the morning I woke up to see that. lmao

So yeah.. THAT happened. Followed by what I think has to be one of the weirdest, craziest marketing campaigns I've ever seen. lol Going back to 2022, we truly had it all...

A title announcement on a random Thursday that was probably done so that it would not be confused with the Netflix series announced a few days later. A tie-in comic more than a year before release that was... a little pointless? lol A vinyl collection that spoiled the composers a year before release. A title change literally two days before the first trailer. A reveal trailer that left many in shock because of its tone shift and complete lack of the former title character. A line of Game Informer articles that left us often times with more questions than answers. Every single article being deleted the very next month due to GI shutting down. An actor panel at SDCC happening right as Sag Aftra went on strike. A "fandom" party that had nothing to do with Dragon Age. Jason Derulo. An artbook that accidentally revealed the release date with its pre-order, which was then deleted. Twice. Memes about roadmaps. A second trailer that in hindsight probably should've been the first one. An audio drama by a different writing team with some baffling (but funny) lore mistakes. A combat showcase starting off with a disclaimer that "footage had been edited due to spoilers"... followed by THE biggest spoiler in literally the first ten seconds. The first IGN video with super spoilery dev commentary. A hand-on preview event with 140 people leading to spoilers galore... Did I mention spoilers? lol

That was when I stopped looking at stuff online, so I don't know what happened after that, but WOW, what a crazy ride that was. 🥲 Truly a DA4 Summer to remember and I'm unironically so grateful to have witnessed it in real time with all of you. 😂

Then finally, after ten flippin years of tinfoiling, speculating, reading crazy development stories and clowning around at every gaming live event, Veilguard was finally released and it will probably go down as the most emotionally charged Halloween of my life. lmao

Then it was time to actually play The Veilguard. Which took me about a month.

A month filled with what I can only describe as a crazy rollercoaster of conflicting emotions. Aside from everything having to do with Solas, I'd say my personal highlights of the entire experience was seeing Felassan (I screamed), the PHOTO MODE and even one hilarious "breaking the fourth wall" moment, where I would frantically run around in Elgar'nan's trap in "Blood of Arlathan", to a point where I would yell at the screen "SOLAS, I COULD USE SOME HELP NOW, HELLO???" and hearing his flippin voice literally two seconds later going "Yes, you called?" and I freaked out so hard I dropped the controller. 😂😂😂 Also, as someone who romanced Alistair in my first playthrough of DAO and brought him to the final battle not knowing he would sacrifice himself, you can imagine my flashbacks when I saw Davrin dying at Tearstone.. who I had romanced. 💀 Or the Dark Ritual flashbacks when I saw Morrigan wanting to talk to me right before the final mission. lol Getting the Felassan rune actually made me tear up a little. There are many little moments like that that I loved or that made me emotional, but ultimately.. Veilguard is a game that, for all the amazing graphics and cutscenes and flashy combat.. the more I think about the story and the lore (or lack thereof), the more I end up confused and trying to figure out what it is that's breaking the immersion to me in a way that the previous games didn't.

But anyway... I finished Veilguard, though the DA craziness of 2024 wasn't over just yet and I didn't know that the best was yet to come in December. lol

So.. Years ago, one of the main reasons I created this blog was to make silly "appreciation posts" about Solas' German VA and ramble on about my love for his performance.. I even remember making a post on here like three years ago talking about how I would sadly never EVER get a chance to meet his VA personally, because that man never ever goes to any fan conventions or public events. lol

Well... GUESS WHO I MET AT THE GERMAN COMIC CON EARLIER THIS MONTH!!!

YES GUYS, without sounding like a weirdo (because despite my obsession with voice acting, I don't care for VAs social accounts or anything beyond their work as a VA), but after years of jokingly referring to this blog as the "Ozan Ünal Appreciation Blog", and kinda the reason I made this blog in the first place, I finally met the man himself and it was probably the best friggin fan experience I could've wished for. 🥲🥲🥲

See, I've met a lot of different VAs at Cons before, who were all super nice and awesome to talk to.. but let me tell you, this guy has such an incredibly contagious positive attitude and charm!! lol Me and my friend were literally the last to stand in line at his booth before the event closed, there were TONS of people (there were quite a few VAs at the Con, but his booth had BY FAR the most people in line the whole day lol) and yet he made sure to take the time to talk with every single person, asking questions, was genuinely interested in our opinions, joking around and just generally SO FRIGGIN NICE. And he's just a very chill and funny dude? lol

And it was so funny, because there were SO many people and yet apparently I was the only person that day to talk to him about DA and Solas and he was SO excited about it 😂😂😂 (I bet like 90% of the fans talked to him about his VA work on Vampire Diaries, The Big Bang Theory, Gravity Falls and Nicholas Hoult lol).

And of course, because DA4 happened so recently, it was still fresh in his memory. He told us that he even watched some Let's Plays and asked what we thought of the game and I'm still laughing so hard, because he was literally like "Oh yeah, the lore is MASSIVE and it was so overwhelming and I could barely keep up with it, the whole time I had no idea what I was talking about.. like, what exactly IS Mythal??" LMAOOO His performance for Solas was so good and so convincing and now I'll always have to picture him standing in the recording booth, no flippin clue what he's actually talking about. lmaoo And then my friend was pointing at me like "She's actually a walking lore encyclopedia" and then he was like "Oh, you should've been in the booth then!" lol

And I'm actually quite upset on his behalf now, because he also told us how, when the English VAs were officially announced, he had actually made a post on social media about how he was returning for Solas in DA4 and how he got in so much trouble for that because EA told him they were going to make an official announcement.... AND THEN THEY NEVER DID??? Like, I was desperately waiting for an announcement about the German voice cast and they simply never made one, we literally had to wait for the credits to be published? (Also, the German and French version have only one female and one male voice for Rook and no one knows what happened there, we tried to contact them about it, but no response so far?? It's like they don't even care.) That's EA for you...

Anyway, we then chatted a bit more about his other work and stuff and he recorded an audio for me (I actually got him to say the "Vir shiral malasa, bellanaris" GUYS AND IT SOUNDS SO GOOD, like I was so nervous, asking "Could you do elven..?" and he was like "Sure, it's been a year, might be a bit rusty" and then he just knocked it out of the park?? lmao So I have both Lavellan's AND Solas' WEDDING VOWS NOW. 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤❤)

So yeah, that was my meeting with Ozan flippin Ünal and what an awesome guy and amazing VA and what an "epic conclusion" of this year of the Dragon (Age) 2024. lol And the timing feels so strange now, because, in a way, it feels kinda like coming full circle?

Like I said in the beginning, for years I was always mainly a lurker in the fandom and the reason why I created this blog was to join in on the hype/speculation train for DA4 and to talk about Solas' German and French voices and share my silly edits and gifs. And now I've played Veilguard AND I've met Ozan Ünal.. both things that, at some point, I wasn't sure were ever going to happen.....

So.. In terms of my fandom experience, this year was crazy and whatever 2025 brings and whatever happens with this blog or DA in general... I love this fandom (especially my little Solasmancer bubble <3) and I love Dragon Age and whoever's reading this, here's to 2025 and I hope you have a Happy New Year!! 💜💜💜💜💜

[kpopsexstories]

Coming Next Week: Backstage Sex with Taeyong

In this post I'll give you a quick overview of some exciting NCT/kpop smut coming your way 😊😍🍆💦

First off, this past week you got a fast-forward overview of what happened to Jisung after he had sex with Haechan's sister in Manilla. His "Most Memorable Sexual Experience" story was quite vanilla, but the relationship between Jisung and Haneul – Haechan's twin – was so much fun to write back then!

You requested a reunion between the two a few years later, when they're more mature and have "mind-blowing" sex. This request got me thinking: How could sweet, innocent Jisung go from just average in bed, to someone capable of "mind-blowing" sex?

This week's four-part story aimed to answer that question. You can now read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4 in order by going to the link above.

The two-year overview doesn't give you what the request asked for though. But hey, I've got some great news for you: The story and the request inspired me a great deal, and I have now written a follow-up story that does give you what the request asked for 😊 It's now listed on the Up-coming Stories page on Story Finder, so keep an eye on that page once a week to see when I finally schedule it for publication on the Tumblr blog (that page is where you'll learn such things first, though it will probably still be a while before I make the date official).

Wait, if it's already written, why don't you give us that story now?

Two reasons: Because I don't want one idol to take up all the space, and because I've got other equally exciting stories ahead. This brings us to what's coming in the next few weeks...

New "Backstage Sex" stories

If you don't know, "Backstage Sex" is a type of story I publish as part of my Mixed One-shots series. Each such story has a few things in common with the others: the idol brings a fan backstage for sex, the sex is rough and wild, and there's focus on dirty talk.

Previously I've done Backstage Sex with Haechan and Backstage Sex with Jungkook. Now, as you know if you've checked on Story Finder, Backstage Sex with Taeyong is coming this week, followed by Backstage Sex with Xiaojun the week after.

On top of that someone requested Backstage Sex with Yuta which has been half-written, and I have a full first draft for another idol which I won't reveal who just yet. But no date to announce for either of those. I'm also open for more requests related to this collection of extra hot and horny stories, if you have a specific idol in mind 😏🔥

Quick Fix Gay

Quick Fix Gay Season 1 continues every Thursday. This week I'm giving you a story I originally meant to release on New Year's Eve but which I didn't finish on time.

The new story plays on the gay relationship between the NCT Dream members, from the NCT Dream Dating Ban series (external link) which concluded in December, 2024. It's short and doesn't significantly expand on the Dating Ban universe, but it came to be solely thanks to that series.

"Quick Fix", if you don't know, are my very short stories that focus exclusively on the sex or a very specific scenario/plot point. The gay edition of the series is similar to the straight one except they're about member-on-member or member x male reader situations.

In case you've missed any, there are already 35 straight Quick Fix stories and 5 gay Quick Fix stories published on this blog, which you can read right now. Check out the Tumblr master list posts on those links, or visit the Quick Fix page and Quick Fix Gay page on Story Finder for a more visual overview.

Other things I'm working on

I'm currently working mostly on straight content, jumping a bit back and forth between various storylines and series. I can't tell you just yet what else is coming when, but I haven't forgotten about all the gay universes and sub-series I talked about in this post.

There's a lot of exciting stuff coming, but for now I hope you're excited about everything announced above. Because those things are coming very soon, and I really appreciate your likes and requests related to them – your involvement, big or small, is highly encouraging and motivating, so please reach out and make your voice heard 😁

[slettlune]

whenever i get annoyed with epic the musical stuff i have to remind myself that a) nine times out of ten it's actually the fandom that is annoying me (mostly by flooding the iliad and trojan war tags and discussions and my posts for an age now, despite my ever-expanding list of blacklisted terms), and b) it's essentially one composer/singer's glorified student project that got an IMMENSE amount of attention from tiktok teenagers (a dark destiny indeed)

as disappointing as i've thought some of the creative choices in the musical are, i feel pretty sorry for the creator. being solely responsible for a years-long serialized semi-adaptation of a world-famous story, where each installment is announced way ahead of time and the hype builds up to a superwholockian frenzy each time... it's a ticking bomb. the backlash was always going to come, because you're never going to satisfy each individual's expectations of what your story should be. i've been there myself in other fandoms, where the creative hivemind get each other excited going "omg imagine if--!!" and then we are inevitably disappointed when that specific thing (or something equally meaningful and thematically perfect) doesn't happen. like personally i think odysseus easily beating back poseidon with a jet pack and a sword is really really silly and doesn't fit into the musical's internal narrative, but that's the scene THAT guy wanted in the story, you know?

[neptune-lover]

Pregnant? Pt6

Author note:HOWDY sorry this took forever I've been sick the last few weeks and late last week I ended up getting an allergic reaction to something we still don't know yet I see my allergist soon about it but I've also had writers block so I apologize this took so long but here it finally is

Tag list: @hauntedpostpersona @moxkindagirl @babybatlover

Tw: talks of pregnancy, mentions of death and miscarriage, mentions of vomit/throwing up and mentions of sex, use of their real names

It's been about a week since Rhea took the test and you guys went to the appointment and found out that both of you we're in fact pregnant about 2-2 and a half months to be exact. Both of you and all 3 of the boys were very excited but some other people didn't have the best opinions about this. Of course you guys had to tell hunter so he could plan a head and set up a promo to announce you departure from the company for about the next year. The boys decided that it was alternate 1 being home and the other two being away every week so one of them would be home with both girls. Hunter was very excited to hear the news considering he was the one who brought you to NXT from Japan all those years ago. But some of your fellow could workers were not the happiest although you had the ones who were your closest friends out side the WWE Universe like Baily, Becky, Asuka, Seth, liv and so many others but then again not all of you got along in real life like solo sikoa which was weird because the rest of the bloodline were very good friends with you and Damian. Speaking of bloodline Sami was another wrestler fond of you all because of the whole poly thing he never understood and though it was selfish for someone to date more than one person. But all your guy's friends threw a party for you and Rhea as a going away for now kinda thing which was a lot of fun Bad Bunny was there as him and Damian were still the best of friends Rey was there as he was happy he was getting 2 grand kids and he said that if Eddie was still with all of you he would be so happy for all of you and be proud if how far Dominik has come and some of your friends brought their little ones as everyone loved them like edge brought Ruby and lyric and Becky and Seth brought Roux but it was a lot if fun and you were so tired afterwards that when you got home you and Rhea got changed into some pj's and just passed out on the bed. It's been a few days since the party and currently you were sitting on the couch waiting for Finn to finish cooking lunch because you were extremely hungry and today Rhea decided she wanted to backstage with the other two because it was Finn's turn to stay home today so it would just be the two of you.

Hey guys that's all for part 6 I hope you enjoyed again so sorry it took so long I had a bunch if shit going on and I don't always also have a bunch of motivation so being sick and all that didn't help with that but hopefully I will be back to making a bunch of stuff soon and don't forget to check out my request post I'm currently working on one but please feel free to flood my inbox cuz that also give me motivation and also if you aren't sure if I do a character ask in the request and I'll DM you if I make stuff for that character or not

[starfolk7]

1 for Lies of P and your other fandoms (how yould you forget Pino and friends? xD)

Omg you're right I blanked and forgot to list that in the tags MY BAD JFHDHD

1. List 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

I guess I'm gonna organize these by fandom lol

Pokemon:

- Diversity! Since it's been around for so long, there's tons of fics to read. If you can think of it, someone has probably written it. There's a Mewtwo fic I found in college that's basically a retelling of the events of the first movie, but holy shit it's written so beautifully it made me cry in front of my friends rjrhdgde. It's a dense read, but still one of my absolute favorite fics to this day. That's just an example of things you can find!

- Sub-fan bases. Basically, if you're a big fan of a certain Pokémon, a type of Pokémon, one of the games, etc., you're going to find your people very easily. Kind of falls under the first one a bit but ya know lol.

- Some of the cutest and also the most badass fanart comes out of this fandom. I have both art of a Sylveon with a lollipop and art of Mewtwo breaking out of their armor from the first movie. The duality of man djrhdgs

SoulsBorne

-Maybe I've gotten lucky and just found really nice people, but so far my experiences in the community have been largely positive! I've met some of the loveliest people by posting my Dark Souls and Bloodborne fics, and it really got me back into writing OCs again (you know that's my lifeblood lol)

-Character and lore analyses. Not that I agree with all of them, of course I don't, but if you want an analyses of anything in these games, there's some mad lad out there that's done it, whether it's a post or through an entire fic. Gives you tons to think about!

-ART!! Holy shit there's so many amazing artists in this community. We don't talk about how much SoulsBorne art I've snagged at conventions (I got more of it and Elden Ring stuff at Magfest don't look at me fjfhdhd)

Lies of P

-I haven't been in this fandom for long, but so far everyone I've met has been very sweet! They're also super OC-friendly. I can't tell you how many Stalker and Puppet OCs I've seen, among others, it's really amazing!

-Probably gonna say this for all of my fandoms but the ART OMG. There's so much gorgeous fanart floating around for this game it's insane. Still on the hunt for more Romeo pieces tho rjrhehe

-Headcanon diversity. Do you want a totally mute P? One that talks sometimes? One that's Had Enough? What I'm getting at is there's a P out there for everyone! People have been exploring all the different character angles on him and it's wonderful to see.

Ultrakill

-THE HYPE. Since this is an early access game still in development, the hype that cranks up every time an update is announced is INSANE. I don't think I've ever seen this level of it for an indie game. I got in just in time to witness this for the Violence update and the rush it gives you seeing everyone so excited is amazing!! It helps that every single update has just been an absolute banger. We have reason to be super excited, the devs do stellar work!!

-LORE. Do you wanna feel like Charlie at the corkboard in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? Because that's where I'm definitely at right now. Since we're in the last act of the game, there's so much speculation and so many theories about how the game will end. On top of that, people have been playing in the lore sandbox ever since this game started. I know I've def been up at night wondering how the hierarchy of Heaven works and what certain layers of Hell were like before Certain Events TM (I'm being vague because I know at least one person wants to play this bear with me lol). Basically there's tons to explore and the community collectively goes insane about different bits, we have fun here lmao

-I'm bundling art and memes into this one because oh my GOD. The tonal whiplash is a rollercoaster ride. You can go from the most heart-wrenching art of Gabriel you've ever seen to a piece that goes "V1 is a shrimp now" and sometimes you just need that snap back to some levity. The memes are absolutely top-tier. It helps that the voice actor for Gabriel already does memes and shitposts on his YouTube channel, so he just carries that over for Ultrakill stuff sometimes and y'know what? This game is dark, I'm gonna need these memes for when the ending makes me bawl like a baby. The Violence layer already has me feeling the creeping sense of dread (if you know you KNOW).

[idleglowingpixels]

Big Update Post (Regarding XXY and some other projects)

WOW, I haven't posted anything in a while. I'm so sorry about that!

For an explanation, without getting into major personal details, I got a new job after having a really bad experience at another. And I started taking a medication around the same time that caused severe fatigue for me, to the point I unfortunately got fired for excessive absenteeism. That sent me into a major depressive slump, and I'm only just now digging myself out of it. Still on the job hunt, been filling out lots of paperwork and doing lots of interviews that go absolutely nowhere, but I'm optimistic I'll eventually find something.

Also, on a brighter note (My brain just refuses to be pessimistic for real lol), I've decided to attend college starting in January! My associate's degree majors are focusing on Creative Writing, as well as General Studies to get those main classes out of the way in the first two years. I then plan on pursuing the Creative Writing degree up to a bachelor's, and I'm planning on double-majoring with Graphic Design for those last two years for the namesake of a bachelor's degree in both fields (good for the resumes, y'know?), and also because my art and writing portfolios for original works are SEVERELY lacking. I don't think I've worked on them professionally since high school! :')

Okay, personal mess aside, as a result of the depressive slump, I was so severely demotivated that I fell extremely far behind on my writing goals for this month, which is a huge bummer. :C But I'm trying to work on being kinder and more patient with myself, and it's working so far, so I'm just gonna keep trucking along.

I'll share what I have gotten done, as well as what's coming up this October. So, without further ado, here you go:

XXY: I have fully completed the first drafts of Chapters 8 & 9, with Chapter 10's first draft pending completion. If I had to take a guess, between writing and editing the chapters for future drafts, I won't have Chapters 8-13 ready for release until at least December. This is because at my standard writing pace, I won't have all the first drafts completed until the end of October, and accounting for all the time I'll be spending editing the chapters or rewriting scenes where necessary, I doubt I will be able to provide any chapters in November. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long for an update, believe me. I appreciate your patience at this time and will do my best to complete these chapters up to my standards as soon as humanly possible.

Idle's Monster High AU (Working Title): Kicking off the official beginning of me sharing my Monster High AU, which I've been developing for roughly 2-3 years now, I'm spending the rest of this week in particular revamping the designs I drew from last year for the main 5 ghouls (Frankie, Draculaura, Clawdeen, Cleo and Lagoona) but didn't post. I'm gonna be sharing 1 redesign each week on this blog for the duration of October! I will also be posting a one-shot I've been writing and editing on-and-off throughout the last year or so, to commemorate this year's upcoming Friday The 13th! The one-shot will be posted on said date, October 13th. I'm BEYOND excited to share this one, and I even have a drawing for the fic I'll put in the fic's masterpost!

Ladybug And Chat Noir: A Miraculous Tale: For now, this project is still sidelined to make room for XXY and other works to be completed. I'm hoping to work on it more soon!

I'm also making a formal announcement soon for my new writeblr blog, focusing more on my original stories and stuff about them very soon! Just have to make a masterpost/introduction for the page and I'll reblog it here. After that, I'm keeping the blogs relatively separate, as this is my unhinged fandom blog and the other one's more on the "professional" side for my personal works.

That's it for tonight I think, and I hope this satisfies my lack of posting here lately. These last 2-3 weeks have been a real struggle for my mental health, but I'm finally seeing the sun over the horizon!

[fountainpenguin]

Blog Stuff

^ Like, "FYI if you want to block tags" stuff

Little announcement here: Factor It In is on hiatus for now, probably for the rest of 2023. I know where the story is going overall and I know where the next chapter's going, but I struggled more than expected with the "Torus" voice (took like 6 weeks longer than the other chapters and all of it painful :'D)

I don't want to face a timecrunch struggle with TJ and Rose POVs (two characters who will be new to me), so I'm taking the bi-weekly update stress away and putting the 'fic on hiatus for now. But I wrote 77k before a hiatus was needed so I'm proud of that <3

We've got some 130 Prompts coming up as well as "Unicorn Years" for Origin in September (and hopefully a special Friday the 13th piece in October). In other words, FOP stuff is still bi-weekly as usual.

-> As a reminder, the 130 Prompts are posted in the order they are for a reason. You don't have to read them all if you don't want to, but extra context is always nice. If you've been dragging your feet on "Looking Back" by any chance... I might recommend that before the next update, which is "Sentry" ;)

On the "off" Friday I'm planning one-shots for various fandoms, especially shorter character studies. Really want to practice capturing a variety of voices, some quicker one-shots, and maybe I'll try some characters I don't use a lot. Or I'll be self-indulgent and focus on my faves... who knows.

Hoping to post more Come What May as well since you guys were excited to see it back <3... and it would be nice to actually finish a non-one-shot 'fic for the first time in. 7 years.

It's probably been obvious, but I also took a long hiatus from digital art. Traditional art is more comfy for me and I've been trying new digital programs, but haven't fallen in love with anything (i.e. I've been a vector artist for 10 years and moving from my safe space to different programs and styles is... painful).

I think I'm ready to start pushing my comfort zone, but be forgiving of my digital style because I'm playing around with new tools and this is a big jump for me, ha ha. I think I'm going to do some silly, low-stress fanfic doodles with very little attempt to make them look good, just testing stuff out.

I miiiiiight have a few PMV / animatic ideas, so we'll see

By nature of me posting art for my own 'fics, spoilers be upon ye if you're not up to date with my writing. Relatively recent stuff and/or stuff I consider "big" will get the #ridspoilers tag, but stuff I wrote 6+ months ago is less likely to get the tag, so that's how that goes.

-> #Dog's Life spoilers will get a unique tag because the weekly updates and drama make me say "Yeah, a special tag makes sense," so if that's a 'fic you think you want to read someday without spoilers, consider blocking that sooner rather than later :)

-> I'm also adding a #Pixels Imperfect tag to stuff from that universe (and I'll go back and add it to the chapters I already posted). "Pixels Imperfect" is the series name on AO3 for my digital gremlin Traffic SMP content (Everyone can freely wander around New Star Station outside the game and just puts on their roleplay hats when they go in, everything under this series fits under one umbrella of universe canon, etc.)

-> #Neighborhood Watch is the series name for "we take the roleplay lore seriously, this is their life, no digital world and no roleplay hat to take off" Traffic SMP content. I haven't posted anything for it yet, but I've got stuff in the works (I'm playing with a couple "making every season as canon as possible in one storyline" pieces and </3 it's big divorce speedrun hours for Clocker fam rn)

As for the other 'fics, I've been posting stuff like Origin, the 130, and Knots for 7 years and I feel okay about how that's going- I don't normally get spoiler Asks, but my general rule is to wait 1-2 weeks before I say anything spoilery on my blog. I think that's been working fine and we've got a good system, so I'm not changing anything there.

Lastly - and this is also part of the reason Factor is going on hiatus - it sounds like Traffic SMP Season 5 is just around the corner. For my followers who don't know much about this Minecraft deathmatch series, the creators only play for a few weeks - I think the shortest season was 6 weeks and the longest was 8 - and each creator puts out one episode a week (usually Friday).

So, it's a pretty short chunk of time and I don't want to be juggling too many things while it's coming out. I think this year I want to jump in and create some nice content while it's ongoing instead of just doodling off to the side and keeping it to myself... I need to dig up my old liveblog doodles I never shared, hm.

-> The traffic story canon gets reset every season (i.e. it's unscripted play, there's no continuous plot, and each season starts relationships from scratch), so if you've been enjoying any of my Traffic SMP reblogs, consider looking into it and riding that wave while episodes come out for a couple weeks and we can be hype together <3

-> Stuff for that season will be tagged #traffic spoilers, which is the tag I use across all the seasons, and I'll make a new post with my Season 5 spoiler tag once we get the name reveal.

-> As is traditional when I liveblog, I'll also use the tag #Riddle watches Traffic so you can block that too if you like. Just wanted to let people know in case I have any Traffic SMP followers who want to go in blind and don't want to risk seeing my posts before they have time to block my spoilers tag. #traffic spoilers still covers everything, including new season.

-> I also need to look into maybe switching from Traffic Life SMP as my blog tag to Traffic SMP because I think that's. the right name and it would probably be smart to tag properly... hm.

I think that covers everything I wanted to say. I'll add a list or link to my pinned post as well so people can figure out what to block for spoilers and stuff.

Thanks for enjoying my blog!

[winterandwords]

🌃 Bridge From Ashes Update: 29 November 2022 (with bonus doggo content)

Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult Working title: Project Frequency Tags: #bridge from ashes and #project frequency More: WIP summary and tag list

📝 Status

Draft 02 complete I didn't want to post an update until I actually had something to say and I've been doing my best not to put schedules, deadlines or goals on this book (more on that in a bit) so this milestone kind of crept up on me, but it happened yesterday, so yay, I guess?!

Title reveal I dropped the title in an updated WIP summary a few days ago because I'm shit at announcing stuff but I wanted to put it out there. I was going to do what I did with November Breaks and wait until the book was out before I mentioned the real title, but fuck it. I've had the title in my head for a while and I was excited and wanted to share it, so here we are.

✅ Next step

Rest the draft, but like REALLY this time I suck at doing this because when I'm obsessively into a project (and obsessively is the only way I'm ever into anything) I just want to fuck with it all the time, but draft 03 is going to be an up-close line edit and I absolutely definitely need to be coming at it from as fresh a perspective as possible, which means not looking at it (apart from to grab snippets for tag games, obvs) for...I don't know? Like a month, maybe? Should I ban myself from working on it until 2023? OK, that's terrifying on so many levels. Deep calming breaths. Contemplating the passage of time is in no way contributing to the midlife crisis that's breathing down my neck right now.

💜 Feels

OK so I actually miss schedules and goals and deadlines?! I don't know if I miss them in an "I've finally got a handle on my self-destructive productivity and now I can approach structure healthily" kind of way, or if I miss them like I would hypothetically miss shovelling MDMA down my throat and up my nose every weekend if I ever did that which I definitely did not because it's illegal and drugs are bad.

My brain is in FULL WRITING MODE and the thought of not writing while I rest this draft makes me die inside a little, so I'm going to deal with this by starting some new WIP activity. I reckon I can probably manage it without whiplash because Rafe from Bridge From Ashes is in one of the upcoming WIPs and the other one is a sequel (maybe a vignette novel, maybe a novel-novel, maybe a collection of shorts, but who the fuck knows?) to November Breaks so I'm aggressively excited about both of them.

I'm not sure how long it'll be before I'm sharing any new WIP material on here because I'm pretty much just throwing words at a digital page right now and seeing what sticks, but I'll yell about it when the time comes.

✍ Snippet

“What do you want, cut-throat?” he says, and the mirror shatters. I pull his hand towards me and my skin splits under the blade, but only just. “I don’t know.” He presses harder. Slowly, with a tenderness that shakes me to my fucked up rotten core, he carves a new line among all the others. A new way to bleed apologies. A new way to count regrets. “Yes, you do.” And if this is how it ends… The night air is nowhere near as cold as him and the deserted street is nowhere near as empty. I close my eyes and don’t open them until he puts the knife away, until he finds the raw slice in my chest with fingers like stone. Then he raises his hand, stained with my blood, to rest against my jaw. “What do you need?” “This.” And that’s not an answer either. But it’s enough for now.

👀 Bonus bits

I can't believe this only just struck me the other day, but the two fictional characters who inspire Rafe's vibes the most are Billy Butcher from The Boys and Judge Dredd from the 2012 film. They're both played by Karl Urban AND I DID NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

(Not me fan casting the way-in-the-future film sequel of my own book when Rafe and Gillen are in their fifties but like...Karl Urban and Mads Mikkelsen, you guys busy??)

If you're still here, thank you and I love you and you shall now be blessed with a picture of Shadow. She decided the bed in my writing/arting/music/witching room is now hers, but she agreed to share it with me for the low price of a new fluffy blanket.

💜 Tag list

Thanks for your support and encouragement! Comment or message me to be added or removed.

@drabbleitout @ezestreet @i-can-even-burn-salad @kaiusvnoir @manathen @thegreatobsesso

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Hi, I just wanted to quickly tell you how glad I am that I found your post where you said that you aren’t that interested in their solo careers and talked about your take on the hiatus thing because you really summed up all my thoughts and fears about what may be coming very well. I really feel the same way as you especially the last paragraph. It hit a little too close to home.

I've actually just been extremely sad since the announcement because I feel like an important part of my life has been taken away and I know how pathetic and embarrassing that must sound and especially since I‘m in my mid twenties but…. yeah. Maybe I’m just pathetic. I want to be happy for them, but it's just extremely hard when I feel like I'm falling by the wayside. and I am also just totally confused by what's suddenly going on because JK has recently mentioned again and again that he only feels really comfortable performing with his members and that he doesn't like to be on his own and then his recent vlive where he said that he wouldn't go on shows without the others but now this? It's all over the place somehow and the timing is so weird too because why would they announce something like this right now when they're promoting a new album? It totally overshadowed the album, which is probably one of the reasons why it scored so poorly. I just can't help but feel a bit bitter and disappointed about the way they handled it. And also, I am very confused about how little some of the members were affected about the whole thing. Like Tae for example always used to be so emotional back in the days but in the festa video it really looked like he didn't even care, same goes for some of the others. Sorry that I so randomly poured out my heart to you, I don't have anyone to talk to about this.

Hi! You're welcome, and thank you for finding my post. I was feeling alone in how I felt too! You can pour your heart out to me anytime. I don't have anyone to talk to about this either :)

Tbh, I was quite angry but I'm not anymore. I've moved on a bit. The day after the Festa dinner I couldn't sleep and I was feeling so empty and scared. Now I feel ready to embrace their solo projects. It helps that I remembered we didn't get any music for over a year, and that there were many times during the pandemic that I felt BTS were very absent. Now, we'll get more individual content, but Hybe will feel pressured to keep the OT7 brand alive (especially after their shares tanked with the break announcement), so we might be getting a lot more OT7 content than we think!

But it's okay if you're not there yet! I'm being hopeful now, but I know I'll start to miss them a lot when they inevitably become less active as 7. They still have schedules and content they've filmed, but soon they may be in different countries doing different things. I'm scared of losing their bond...

I've also become excited for Jungkook's solo career, as well as Jimin's. And I can't wait for D3. But I don't have the same amount of interest in all the members and I don't know how much I will enjoy their solo careers.

About Jungkook, it is weird how they never hinted at wanting to go solo. The stuff about being lost and confused, they've talked about before, but wanting to go solo or being lost collectively as a group was new. Had they shared feeling curious about doing solo performances and projects, then perhaps we would have been more prepared for this?

The timing is weird, because they sort of ruined Festa and they sabotaged Proof too. They didn't properly promote Proof, and even Army didn't hype it up as much as they could because it got caught up in the Festa schedule. It's like they didn't care about how Proof performed? It wasn't a priority for them. Had BTS announced their break before Proof came out, there would've been a lot more hype for Proof. It would've sold more, YTC would've broken records, etc. Proof should've been released before Festa too, and then Festa would've been some sort of goodbye. It was a goodbye for them, but not for us since we didn't know they would be saying "goodbye"...

The members' "lack" of reactions probably come down to the fact that they've been planning this since MOTS:7. This break was supposed to happen all the way back in 2020. The members have had plenty of time to prepare themselves for this and to process their feelings. Looking back, My Time is the kind of song that you'd write before announcing a break ("Can I someday finna find my time?"). Likewise, the rapline songs and Inner Child fit the theme of finding themselves and reflecting on how far they've come...

So, yeah, their lack of emotionality (in some members) is because this isn't news for them. They're already preparing their albums and have known all this for years... Unlike us, who were kind of blindsided...

Your feelings are perfectly valid! Don't worry about overreacting. I'm choosing to trust them. To trust that we won't loose them. But I know we will, to some extent. It was inevitable anyway... Right now I feel hopeful, but I still feel a bit empty when I picture the future ahead. Right now things haven't changed too much, but we know they will... It's the end of an era. It's okay to mourn it...

Thanks for the ask! Come talk to me anytime!

[catb-fics]

Just feeling the need to post something fluffy to prove that I don’t just write utter filth! If you’ve read my other stuff posted elsewhere you might recognise this story as it’s an old fic I’ve adapted!

Falling For Your Best Friend (Van McCann) Part 1

Warnings: none (sweet and fluffy) / Word Count 2k

You'd known Van for years, you'd been at school together and you, Van and Larry had been inseparable back then. You'd always got into scrapes, skiving off school, sneaking off for a crafty fag instead of attending lessons and often winding up in detention.

Nowadays with Van's music career taking off it’s a far cry from those carefree days at school, but you’re grateful that your friendship has stood the test of time. You’re practically the band’s unofficial sixth member, even travelling round with them on tour when you can blag the time off work.

The band were just winding up a hugely successful UK tour which you hadn't been able to join them on and you were desperate to see Van. You'd missed him so much, the silly jokes you shared, the way you'd constantly tease each other and the laughs you had on your drunken nights out. And something else... his smile.

It was getting harder and harder to ignore, the little spark that had ignited inside you just before the lads had embarked on this most recent tour. It was absolutely ridiculous really, I mean Van was just.... Van! The daft, scruffy haired lad who would mercilessly tease you and send you silly selfies constantly when he was away. He was just a mate, nothing more.

So why does your heart skip a beat when you walk into HMV that afternoon to meet up with the boys after a fan meet and greet? You put it down to excitement at seeing your friend, but you can't ignore the way your cheeks flush when he glances over and catches your eye, his face lighting up as he gives you one of his cheeky grins and a wave. You wave back, ignoring the glares of some of the girls in the queue who are probably all wondering who this mystery girl is who's taken Van's attention. Because as you stand there you notice that his attention has definitely shifted. He glances over at you often, giving you a little wink or pulling a silly face. After a while you wander outside and light up a cigarette, trying to push your thoughts away from seeing Van in a different light.

"Alright Y/N!" There's no mistaking that voice and you whirl around to see him standing there, smile a mile wide on his face, eyes sparkling. Had his eyes always been so blue?

What was wrong with you? You push the thoughts away as Van steps over, arms outstretched to give you a hug.

"God I've missed you!" He says, pulling you close.

You feel yourself stiffen as his body presses up against you, noting the faint scent of his aftershave and the way the feel of his hands on your waist makes your heartbeat quicken.

"Alright soppy bugger, you're crushing me!" You laugh, pushing him away, and then you hurriedly step away to greet the other band members in turn.

You hug them all and there's excited chatter all around as they fill you in on some of the shows they've played and the crazy stories about the ridiculous pranks they like to play on one another on the tour bus, until Johnny announces loudly that if he doesn't get to the pub soon he'll surely die of thirst.

You all pile into the nearest pub, and you're pleased when Van pulls up a seat next to you whilst Benji and Bob take the orders and go off to the bar.

"So, how have you been? I was gutted you couldn't come with us this time. It's not been the same without you!" Van leans in close when he speaks, and you find yourself leaning back slightly.

"Yeah, things have been good. I've not really been up to anything exciting though. Just the usual crap, work, pub, you know."

It suddenly occurs to you how much your lives are travelling in opposite directions. There's Van with his band’s steady rise to fame, travelling the world, and in complete contrast here you are, destined to never leave Llandudno, stuck in a boring 9-5 office job. Van never seems to find your dull life boring though. Much as you try to play it down, he's always interested. You're soon chatting about life and for a while you forget all about your confusing feelings and just enjoy the company of your friend. That's until Benji puts a spanner in the works.

"Hey Van, tell Y/N about that crazy girl after the London gig! She was desperate to shag you!"

The lads immediately start laughing, Johnny letting out a loud wolf-whistle and nudging Van playfully. You feel your stomach sink instantly as your ears prick up at the mention of Van's possible involvement with a girl. You plaster a huge fake smile on your face as you notice Larry looking at you with a strange expression.

"Go on then, tell us all the gossip Benji," you say, trying to act like you want to hear, although what you really want to do is shoot out of your seat and disappear outside for a cigarette.

"Fuckin' shut it man!" Van laughs, then he looks at you. "It was nothing Y/N, just some girl turned up at my hotel room..."

"Yeah 'cause you slipped her your hotel room number after the gig!" Bob interrupts.

"Did I fuck!" Van cries, his eyes flicking to yours before he looks back at his band mates. "I reckon it was Bondy."

Johnny shrugs. "Thought I was doing you a favour mate, she was well fit!"

You let the lads' banter flow around you, smiling when you think you should, jeering along just like one of the lads, which at the end of the day is all Van thinks of you as.

"Who'd have thought it eh?" Larry's laughing. "Van-fucking-McCann a heartthrob! You couldn't pull to save your life at school. Remember Y/N, when he tried to chat up that girl from the year above? Kathleen wasn’t it?”

You force a laugh, regaling the lads with a tale of Van trying his hardest to charm a girl at school and completely embarrassing himself in the process, much to their amusement. Van just shakes his head and laughs along.

"Right youse lot, if you've quite finished I'm off to get a round in. What you all having?"

Everyone puts in their order whilst you sit quietly, studying the floor, considering whether to stay for another drink or go home. You don't think you want to hear any more tales about Van's growing army of female fans. It's been hard enough to read the comments on fan blogs whilst he's been away. You don't even notice that Larry's pulled up his seat right next to you until he leans forward, whispering into your ear quietly out of earshot of the others.

"That's a lovely shade of green you've gone Y/N," he says. "Kinda matches your t-shirt!"

"What the hell you on about?" You hiss back.

Larry just looks at you with a knowing smirk on his face. "Jealous are ya?"

"Get fucked!" You shoot back at him, and he raises his eyebrows, opening his mouth to say something else but stopping as Van returns, carrying a tray laden with pints of lager.

You feel anxious all of a sudden. If it's obvious to Larry how you're acting, what if one of the others has noticed too? You don't think so, after all you and Larry have been friends since you were kids and he knows all your mannerisms, but you just can't risk it. The thought of the lads' teasing banter being directed at you in front of Van fills you with panic.

You jump up on your feet, desperate to distract him. "Fancy a game of pool Van?"

He looks surprised. "Really? No offence Y/N but you're shit at pool!"

This is true of course, but it'll take his attention away from Larry, who's still wearing a smug grin. "Maybe I've been practising whilst you've been away!"

You start to relax when you're away from the others, chatting easily with Van whilst he racks up the balls and you sip your pints.

You indicate that Van should break and he does, sinking a ball and then immediately going on to pot another. He leans over to take another shot, and you find your eyes trailing over him. My god his jeans are really tight. You've never really noticed that he's got such a cute bum before...

"Ah shit! Thought I was on a roll then!" He says, straightening up and passing the cue to you, bringing you back to reality.

You feel slightly flustered, leaning low over the table, trying to focus on holding the cue steady, but your mind's whirring. You take the shot but it's terrible. Van laughs, teasing you good-naturedly whilst you pull a face back at him.

He goes to take another shot, expertly potting the ball and lining up his second shot perfectly. He grins up at you. "You do know there's a forfeit if I seven ball you, dontcha?"

His eyes twinkle with mischief and you find yourself blushing. "Oh yeah, what's that then?"

"Hmm... I've not decided yet..."

Shit! Is he... flirting with you? You immediately dismiss the idea, looking down to hide the fact that your cheeks have turned an even deeper shade of red. Van misses his next shot and passes the cue back to you.

"Ah, look at that. I've set you right up. You can clear up now!"

You move around the table to take the shot, and you're right in front of Van as you bend over. It's hard to concentrate when he's right there behind you, but it's silly really. It's not like he'd be checking you out or anything!

Crap! You fumble and lurch forward, the cue only lightly grazing the cue ball, moving it an inch at most. "You're right, I am shit!" You giggle.

"I'm not surprised, look how you’re holding the cue for starters! And your body positioning's all wrong! Look..."

You're completely taken aback as Van steps over until his body is flush against yours. "Lean over more... no more... you’ve gotta be right over the table..."

He's leaning right over you, practically pressing you into the table, putting his arms around you to demonstrate how to hold the cue. You can feel heat rising in your body, the feel of him this close is sending your mind into overdrive. He doesn't seem to notice.

"Put this hand here, like this... and this one on the cue like this..." he instructs. "Then you’ve gotta move your hand back slowly... steady..."

He's so close now that as he's talking you can feel his warm breath on your neck. You're feeling so hot you're sure you might burst into flames if he doesn't let up. You shift slightly but this movement only serves to remind you exactly how close he is, the feel of his hips pressing into you from behind.

"C'mon Y/N, concentrate... I'm tryin' to teach you here!"

You try to clear your mind and do as you're told and the cue ball moves forward purposefully, connecting with the desired ball which heads straight for the pocket.

"Yes!" You cry, pushing back and away from Van, unable to meet his eye straight away, reaching instead for your pint and taking a huge gulp.

"See, you can do it!" Van laughs.

"Eh, you two, ready for another?" A loud voice comes from across the pub and you both turn to see Johnny standing there, grinning. "That's if you've finished bending Y/N over the table!"

Raucous laughter erupts from the lads' table, and you glance at Van who you're surprised to see actually looks slightly embarrassed for once.

"Shut up and get the drinks in!" He says to Johnny, then glances over to you. You quickly look down. This is getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

"Errr... Van... don't think I'm gonna stay for another actually," you mumble. "Just remembered I'm supposed to be meeting my sister..."

"Oh... errr... okay," he says, and you're sure he looks slightly disappointed, but you've made your mind up. You need to clear your head.

You quickly say goodbye to the lads and make your way to the door, waving to Van as you go.

"I'll bell you tomorrow!" He calls, and then you're out, pushing into the fresh air, away from him, taking a deep breath. 

Read Part 2...

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[camilliar]

I've just reread ~get the wine pairings~ which is one of the best zimbits fics I've ever read and I was wondering if you're currently working/planning any new omgcp fics? I really love your writing 🙈

Ahhhhhhh wow thank you, there are so many Zimbits fics to choose from, and you chose the one I wrote while my OMGCP AO3 account was still a sock I never planned to link to because it was too many kinks pasted together. I’m very flattered. I’m still weirdly pleased with that fic!

To answer you question -- which I’m also very flattered anyone would ask? -- I've got two OMGCP fics that’ll be going up in the next, like, month:

You may have seen me insanely blogging about this AU where everyone’s getting MFAs at Samwell. In theory, ideally, I guess this would be like a loose collaborative series me and @tomatowrites both write in? (If she wants to/has time to?) I’ve very near done with the first fic in this series, like, one to five paragraphs away from being done and passing it on to a beta. It’s a PBJ sex fic set over Labor Day weekend; Bitty thinks he’s getting into one thing (group sex) but he’s actually getting into something else. It doesn’t get that much into the MFA part of things but I hope it does an okay job introducing the general themes around the Parse + Bitty stories in the AU? Lots of ???? because I’m just so excited about this entire thing. Please send me + Tomato asks about MFA stuff, I’m obsessed with and I want everyone else to be, also.

I’m also doing @omgcpheartbreakfest, and that fic is due on August 5 and should be posting ... a week later? Ish? Because it’s a blind fest I ought not divulge too much about it, but it’s an idea I’ve wanted to write out for a while, so I’m looking forward to finishing this over the next week or two.

and then OH GOD this list continues:

After those two I’ll probably switch gears to finish up this infamous South Park fic. Further afield, I did start an Ollie/Wicks fic that could be conceptually interesting but a) what is the audience? and b) do I really want to expend energy on digging into the tone and keeping the tone on point? More problematic is that these characters do not have personalities or even biographical information to transform into a story, so it’s tough to know what their relationship would even be like? I guess what I’m saying is I’m not sure if I want to follow through on this. Earlier today, actually, I took a look at it convinced I was going to scrap it -- but I also felt like there was something there that made me almost wistful for whatever conviction I had for this story when I started it. We’ll see where that goes.

Two big fics I have wanted to write in this fandom for a long, long time, like nearly as long as I’ve been in the fandom:

An AU where Jack’s OD is fatal, and a few years into the future his mother has established a foundation in his memory, to which she’s recruited Parse to sit on the board, which requires that he help fund the foundation. The foundation creates a scholarship for a hockey player at Samwell, and Parse is asked to advise the selection process, which results in Bitty being offered the inaugural award. The problem, however, is that Bitty is terrified of checking and if he doesn’t make it on this team, there’s a chance SMH might ultimately reject the gift -- and if this pilot program fails, Jack’s mom is gonna, like, have a breakdown. So Parse decides to intervene to make sure Bitty doesn’t get cut? Long story short, endgame Bitty/Parse, with the basic tension coming from what everyone’s lost if Jack isn’t in their lives: the team dynamic is totally different! Bitty thinks Jack is a selfish monster who ruined the lives of everyone around him, but Parse maintains that Bitty didn’t know him. The Bob/Alicia relationship is almost irreparably frayed and Parse finds himself in the middle of it because they both refuse to let him go! In a lot of ways it’s a story about Jack, although Jack is very dead for all of it. If done properly I would love to get into some of the tough politics around, like, money in US higher ed and some politics around wealth generally.

I have mentioned a few times that I want to write a “normal” not-edgelord Zimbits fic, and that would be an AU where Jack gets a PhD in history instead of going into the NHL -- so it’s basically canon-divergent from the start of Y2, where Jack decides that, for his own mental health, he can’t do professional hockey. The fic is set over the summer of 2017, at which point Jack is preparing to take his exams, write a dissertation prospectus, and start teaching in the fall. He’s at an impasse with his advisor, however, who doesn’t want him to write a social history of hockey because that’s a second book project, not a dissertation. While that’s happening, Bitty’s just graduated college and moved back in with his parents while Jack tries to find them an apartment in Boston -- which he’s having some trouble doing since Bitty doesn’t have a job lined up and Jack’s income is like, a graduate stipend. The conflicts in this story come from circumstances external to the Jack/Bitty relationship, and center around Jack’s doubts about his ability and desire to follow through on his stated goals, especially considering he’s deeply uncompromising. I’ve seen so many arguments that Jack would be so great at grad school or being a professional academic and it’s like, yes, in some ways, he would be; I can see him doing good archival research, or moving through the degree requirements in a PhD program, because he’s goal-oriented and willing to put the work in. But! He’s fucking awkward and so much of this field is just ... networking? Collaborating? Taking advice? Listening? Taking social cues? He had this idea about what kind of dissertation he was going to do, and why is he being told no? Can Jack take “no”? Can he adapt? A random woman has been showing up to his beer league games -- maybe this degree wasn’t the right path after all?

Then, all the way down at the bottom here, it’s like, I have sooo many incomplete Greerverse and lady Jack fics, many of them in the 500-3k range, but some of them in the 15k range, which is like, wow, that’s a lot of unfinished fic! The most profitable of these would be Jack and Bitty taking a 15-year anniversary vacation traveling around Europe for six weeks, which Jack unceremoniously kicks off by announcing a desire to transition--and then saying nothing about it for the duration of the trip while Bitty tries to work out how he feels about this, never mind what Jack even wants.

Aaaand last and probably also least, I’ve got like 15k each of an a/b/o fic I tried to write for Tomato and another 15k of a fic where a career- ending injury leads Jack to reassess his entire relationship with his body and therefore he winds up getting a little drag-curious, and it was fun writing about like, Jack moping around the house on crutches feeling sorry for himself, but also the fic has an OC who’s a big part of the story and I just didn’t feel that guy or care to write about him so I quit! Maybe I should scrap those things, along with the rest of this mpreg fic.

So that’s where I’m at ficwise right now! Who knows a) when the things further down this list would see the light of days, and b) which other crazy ideas will crop up that I have to write in the interim?

Thank you so much for asking! I love chatting about my fic, please ask any time.

[araminthe-ispwitch]

I've just read your fic Your True Name Is on FF and Ao3. Then I noticed it hasn't been updated since 2017. PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT DISCONTINUED!!! IT'S TOO AWESOME!!

Okay, so... this is gonna be awkward to reply to because just a few posts down this is my announcement that I ain’t giving up. XD

However! You’re right, it’s been 3 years since the last update and jesus christ has it really been 3 years??? I’ve just been quietly watching this fic gather more and more hopeful readers and not even reply to any messages so I could surprise you all, but I don’t think I can go on any longer and not say something concrete just to be real with you.

Okay, so the bottom line is that the status of “Your True Name Is” is... uncertain.

Very uncertain. 

Very very uncertain because I am still writing Chapter 3 UUUUUUUUGH

I’m not gonna bore you with all the details of the past three (three!!!) years. Basically, ever since I started with my thesis, I haven’t been keeping up with BNHA’s manga or anime at all. You’ll notice it on my list of published fanfics; I even started another multi-chaptered fic for another fandom—one that gripped me for months during my last two years in college and eventually became the center point of my own undergraduate thesis. XD

After graduating, I pretty much delved into other hobbies and fandoms for a year. Even once I finally got hired, I didn’t get to come back to BNHA at all (psst I got into the MXTX novels’ fandoms for a full half-year just reading all the good fics). So at the moment, I am very disconnected from the fandom and the current story indeed. I wasn’t even here when the NSFW ban happened...

I wouldn’t mind having a long refresher course of watching the anime in order to continue Chapter 3, but at the moment, I’m not feeling the passion to do so. That’s what’s always so hard about writing for me, especially with multi-chaptered fanfics: once I lose my groove, it can be highly difficult to just sit down and write. This is why I am now actually gravitating towards creating one-shots instead—that, or just keeping WIPs to myself first until I’m actually nearing the end of the story.

This is currently my situation: I’m busy with work (9 hours every day, from Monday to Saturday, thank god for weekends) but the rest of my free time is mostly dedicated to my hobbies. I am not actively writing fanfics at the moment—my hobbies tend to circulate and I hyper-fixate on them for months at a time, so one moment, I’m into reading manga, and the next, I’m playing a game for several days. You may have seen that my Liked posts section is hella active—yep, during these three years, I got into playing Food Fantasy, watched a few anime shows, and all that.

I just didn’t fully come back to Tumblr and start reblogging stuff because it felt awkward to be active here when I’m not even posting a new chapter, and still keeping you guys very frustrated with the cliffhanger. XDDD

Segue but I can’t believe I missed @incorrectknb closing down last 2019 GODDAMMIT I HAD SAVED UP SO MANY POSTS AND MY LAZY ASS DIDN’T SUBMIT THEM

This is already getting too long so I’ll just wrap this up quickly:

Your True Name Is 

Status: Uncertain. Don’t wanna say it’s fully on-hiatus...

However, I’m half-afraid that it’ll end up like my KnB highschool AU fic bc...

GHSR (Kuroko no Basuke fic)

Status: Discontinued...

Half of the numerous things I’ve planned for this, I’ve never even jotted down. I had no clear goal of how each chapter would go unless I was ready to write them... Not a good habit...

Yep, to any readers of my KnB highschool AU fic, I’ve finally confirmed it. Not even sure if you’re actively waiting for the next chapter (because jesus this one stopped at 2016!), but I don’t know what to do with it anymore and I’m actually working on other fics for that fandom (still multi-chaptered but focuses on one ship each instead so it doesn’t get convoluted). For my BNHA fic, I still do want to continue because I haven’t forgotten how much I’ve enjoyed crafting the Secret Child AU. However, expect now that updates for it will really be few and far between. :(

Shoutout to some people who’ve sent me non-anon messages but I don’t think I got around to answering them: @jaysfandomcorner, @kateitron, and also a shoutout to @theywaitforshewho, who was the first to admit that yes, my fanfic is probably dead—but also proceeded to recc it to their list of cool BNHA fics. XDDDDDDD Sorry, my friend, for not replying. Wanted to surprise y’all with an update but... well.

Okay, that’s all I can say for now. After this post, you may see me reblog some overdue stuff and reply to some other asks not related to YTNI. For real tho, guys, you have no idea how much it gladdens my heart to see you so excited and amazed at what I wrote. “Your True Name Is” is my most popular work in both AO3 and FFNet—and all because I tried writing the one AU we have always been waiting for. Every now and then, I see notifs about people liking and favoriting it. I will try my best to get back into its groove!

For now, however, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support! You guys rock!!! ^u^b