#been doing a bunch more sitting out in nature pondering recently

[bolthound]

did a doodle for myself for my birthday. just a ponder out in nature feeling the breeze and sun contemplating things.

[captainscanadian]

Long Way Home | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 2)

MY MASTERLIST

Series Masterlist

Summary: They meet again. 

Word Count: 2200+

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky Barnes x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Steve Rogers, Nurse!Wanda Maximoff, Doctor!Pietro Maximoff

Warnings: Heart Disease, Hospital, Surgery. 

A/N: Give it up for another clusterfuck from yours truly. Thanks again to my dearest @dramadreamer14​ for the beta, as always. I haven’t written two parts in a day since a year ago so I got really excited to post this one. I DON’T DO TAGLISTS! Divider by @firefly-graphics​ <3

The moment he landed in Boston, Bucky Barnes decided to scratch his initial plan of heading to his new apartment, and instead took a cab from the airport to Massachusetts General Hospital. Despite the fact that he was not supposed to be starting his new job until the following week, receiving that email from Dr. Y/L/N about the Stark method patient had made him rather eager to get to work. Perhaps he was getting a little ahead of himself, but then again, he knew himself better than anyone else. There was no way he could have sat alone in his apartment for an entire week with his inherent need to operate. 

Not that he was expecting to operate immediately after he arrived at the hospital, given that the patient he had been wanting to work with was refusing surgery after all. If this patient had refused to let Tony Stark operate on her again, he knew that he would have a much more difficult time trying to convince her to let him operate on her. But Bucky was not someone who would walk away from a challenge, and this case was as challenging as it got. 

When he arrived at the hospital, he rushed inside and headed straight up to the Heart Center. He knew that he should probably check in with the new Chief of Surgery, maybe even inform him that his best friend had landed safely in Boston. But he had just been too eager to make it to his consultation, and he could see Steve when he was done. 

“Hi, I’m looking for Dr. Y/L/N’s office.” Bucky greeted the red haired woman at the Nurses’ Desk with a rather polite smile. 

Wanda Maximoff raised her eyebrow at the man who had just approached her, rolling her eyes as she was pulled away from her emails to give him directions. “I’m sorry, who?” She asked, as  the only Dr. Y/L/N she knew did not work here at the Heart Center. 

“Dr. Y/N Y/L/N? She requested a consult with me this afternoon. She should be expecting me.” He replied. “I’m Dr. James Barnes. I’m the new Chief of Cardio.”

The moment those words slipped through his mouth, Wanda found herself rising from her seat. “O-Oh… you’re… you’re the man of the house. I’m so sorry!” She was certain that he wasn’t supposed to be starting until next week. Had he come here incognito to spy on the department before he was going to take charge? No, that couldn’t be possible. He had just told her his name. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s… it’s just been a long day. My apologies, Dr. Barnes.” 

Bucky let out a soft chuckle at her words and shook his head. “Hey, it’s no problem. I know I shouldn’t be here for a few days, but Dr. Y/L/N requested an emergency consult. Do you know where I can find her?”

“Um…” The nurse bit down on her bottom lip for a moment, not knowing how to break this to him. “Dr. Y/L/N doesn’t work here.” 

“I beg your pardon?”

“I mean, she doesn’t work here at the Heart Center.” She clarified. “Dr. Y/L/N is the Director of Neonatal Surgery. She runs the Newborn Developmental Follow-Up Clinic next door.” 

Bucky’s eyes grew wide at the response. “What?” 

First things first, it came as a surprise to him that a neonatal surgeon had requested a consult with him. After all, he specialized in Adult Congenital Heart Diseases, so naturally he was equipped to run Tony’s department following his retirement. Second of all, why was a neonatal surgeon requesting a consult for an adult patient? 

“You’ll be able to find her in the Blake Building next door. Would you like me to direct you there?” Wanda asked. “It’s not a long walk from here…” 

“Uh… no, I think I got it.” Bucky smiled politely at the woman. “But I would appreciate it if you could direct me to my office.” He was here, after all. He might as well get started with work. 

“Oh yes, of course.” She nodded, sitting back down in her seat. “Just give me one moment. I’ll just need to activate your key card and get you to sign a bunch of paperwork. Dr. Rogers gave me special instructions on which photo of yours to use for your profile.” 

Bucky let out a rather exhausted sigh. “Oh did he really?” He asked before shaking his head. 

“He said you insisted.” 

He leaned against the counter before shaking his head once again. “That punk.” 

“Is it true that you both attended Columbia together?” Wanda asked, rather curiously. “Word travels fast around this hospital.” 

“Yeah, we did. We grew up together, actually. I’ve known him since I was twelve years old.” He replied. 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it? Knowing someone when you’re a kid, and then having to work with them when you’re adults?” She remarked, closing her emails for a moment so that she could activate Dr. Barnes’ key card. 

“What makes you say that?” He asked, curiously. “Because you do sound like you’re speaking from experience.” 

“My fraternal twin, he works as a pediatric cardiologist. You'd think I'd gotten rid of him once I graduated from nursing school. But he went off to med school, and came back to work right here in this department. It’s quite the humbling experience." She explained, chuckling softly. “I know a thing or two about working with your best friend, but working for your best friend? I don’t know if I can help you with that, doc.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He nodded, laughing softly. “You know, I never got your name.”

“Wanda Maximoff.” 

“A pleasure to meet you, Wanda.” 

Following the formalities that needed to be completed before he could be let into his office, Dr. James Barnes eventually found himself logging onto his office computer and searching up a certain ‘Dr. Y/N Y/L/N’. 

Her employee profile on the hospital’s website stated that she was a triple board certified Neonatal Surgeon, and the Director of Neonatal Surgery. He had come across a series of articles on congenital heart diseases she had published in the medical journal within the last few years. Her LinkedIn profile mentioned that she had attended Harvard Medical School, and graduated Summa Cum Laude. 

As impressive as her credentials were, what caught his attention was not any of her accomplishments. It was the photo of her on her profile, and the familiarity that he felt upon seeing her eyes. For a moment, Bucky wondered if there was a time when their paths would have crossed. Perhaps, they had met at a conference of some sort, given that they both specialized in congenital heart diseases. But then again, if they had met recently, he would remember her, wouldn’t he? 

But as he pondered about where he would have met Dr. Y/L/N, he was pulled out of his thoughts by a knock on his door. 

“Come in.” Bucky called out, quickly closing all of his tabs. 

Steve Rogers stepped into his best friend’s office with a rather disappointed look on his face. “What in the goddamn world are you doing here, ya jerk?” 

“Nice to see you too, punk.” He chuckled, rising from his seat to pull him into an embrace. “I was going to come by your office, but I’ve got to head out for a consult in a bit.”

“A consult? Already?” Steve raised his brow. “Buck, you don’t start until next week.” 

“Says who?”

“Says me.” 

“You’re not the boss of me.” He rolled his eyes, even though he knew that Steve was indeed his boss. 

“Actually… I am.” He pointed out, a rather wide grin on his face. “All those years of being neck and neck with you and missing out on the ranks really paid off. I made Chief before you did, pal.” 

“Oh don’t be so full of yourself, buddy. I only took this job because you begged me to.” He reminded him. 

“Begging Is a stretch. I simply made a request.” Steve protested. “And I wanted my best friend to be closer to me.” 

“Aw you missed me, pal?” 

“Yeah, I did.” He admitted, a smile on his lips as he looked over at Bucky. “Best friends like you are rare to find, and easy to lose. Call me a sap all you want, Buck. But the last eight years haven’t been the same without you.” 

Needless to say, Steve wasn’t the only one who could say that. Someone could say that the last thirty years hadn’t been the same without him, if she even remembered him. 

Y/N’s morning had been spent doing rounds around the NICU, having barely walked around the entire floor before her feet began to ache. Two days it had been since they had started to ache, but she paid no heed to them, shrugging them off as the consequence for having stood in the OR for fifteen hours earlier that week. Unfortunately though, she knew the exact reason why her feet were aching. She was just too stubborn to accept that. 

“Pietro, I’m fine!” She exclaimed as her friend sat her down on the couch in her office and removed her shoes, noticing the swelling on her ankles before he gave her a look of utter disbelief. 

“You need to stop being so stubborn, Y/N.” He said, rather sternly. He wouldn’t yell at her, but he knew that she was being extremely negligent about her health ever since Dr. Stark had announced his retirement. “This isn’t normal, especially not for someone with a history of heart disease.” 

She knew that he was right. She knew that she was being stubborn, and that her symptoms were not normal. But with Tony retiring, she hadn’t managed to find that kind of trust in any other doctor. 

It had taken a lot of convincing on Tony’s part for her to even consider setting up a meeting with the new Chief of Cardio. But even then, she doubted if she could trust that man with her life. Perhaps her hesitance to go for surgery was not necessarily based on trust, but her own refusal to go back to the way things used to be when she had first left her hometown in Indiana and arrived in Boston at the age of five. 

Y/N Y/L/N had been a patient at Massachusetts General Hospital long before she had become the Director of Neonatal Surgery. She had spent months on end being admitted in the same Pediatrics Ward where she currently worked, missing out on her life as a normal kid even though she had been surrounded by children her own age. Her normal had been different than most people, and she refused to return to that state yet again. She had come so far, and worked so hard, to go back to that dark place. 

“I have a consultation with the Chief of Cardio later today, okay?” She assured him, as though it was progress in her eventually agreeing for surgery. “I’ll have a chat with him and see what we can do about this.” 

Surgery was out of the question for Y/N. She was not going to have anyone cut into her chest again, not with the way her last surgery had caused her a massive lifestyle change. She had given up her entire life to ensure that she was staying healthy. But if that hadn’t been enough, then what even was the point? 

“And if he suggests surgery?” Pietro questioned. “What would you do if he tells you that he needs to operate, just like Stark did?” Given her condition, even he knew that surgery was the best option. 

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it, Pietro.” She admitted, letting out a sigh of exhaustion as she leaned back against the couch. “You should get back to work. I’m just going to put my feet up for a bit.” 

God, could anyone be as stubborn as Y/N Y/L/N? Pietro Maximoff had no idea. “Okay, but don’t walk around too much. I’ll ask Romanoff if she could handle your patients for the day. Just stay in your office, okay? This isn’t a good sign.” 

“I know, I know… just go.” 

Pietro could only hope that she listened to him and stayed put in her office for the rest of the day, but it seemed that she had dozed off as he was leaving her office. 

“If the doctors don’t fix you, then I’ll become a doctor and I’ll fix you, Bambi.”

“You would be the best doctor in the whole wide world!”

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door as Y/N found herself waking up from her nap. She checked the time on her watch to see that she hadn’t been asleep for too long. That had to be Dr. Barnes, right? 

“Come on in!” She called out, quickly removing her feet from the coffee table and slipping them into her shoes. 

As Bucky walked into Dr. Y/L/N’s office, there were a thousand questions that he wanted to ask her. But not even one of them was, ‘Hey Bambi, would you let me keep my promise now?’ 

[lakemojave]

Land of Falling Sun 7

The wanderer was not confident that he was alone in the town.

By the time he and chipper and his horrible, ugly steed rode in, the fire at the center of town had mostly faded to embers. The bodies lay in the fire charred, dismembered, and unrecognizable. There were a little over a dozen still intact. The smell was repulsive this close.

By all accounts, looking around the dilapidated, dusty old town, it was clear it had been abandoned recently. It showed signs of degradation that must have taken place while it was still populated, and the amount of tracks leaving the town was minuscule compared to what its population would have been. The fire must have been burning for quite a while, maybe a few days, and whoever left must have added their last few dead to the pile before taking off.

“Plague.” The wanderer scanned the town in grim anticipation. “Taken by plague, no doubt. Only a few survivors. We shouldn’t stay long.”

“Why’s that?” Chipper asked? The wanderer shot them a deadpan gaze that communicated the silliness of the question. “Alright, alright. But I wanna look around. Maybe there’s something here we can use?”

“Maybe. Unlikely, but maybe. If we spend more than a day we should camp back the way we came. Least chance of catching anything.”

The wanderer’s eyes looked to a caving-in building, one of the most derelict of the bunch. He could make out the sheriff’s office sign, dangling from its bolts and a bad gust of wind away from falling to the ground. Maybe there’d be a weapon in there he could properly handle, maybe even some cash--if that was a thing people dealt in out here. Chipper drifted along the main avenue, scanning the town and the horizon. It had basic amenities, or at least the rotting corpse of basic amenities: trading post, inn, saloon, post office, mender’s shop, stable. What it seemed to have in abundance were barracks, mess tents, tool sheds, and what must’ve been a rather large infirmary. A working town of some kind, or possibly a military base.

Chipper flew a few lengths above the roofs as the wanderer peeked inside the sheriff’s office and hitched Dog outside. From this altitude, they could see on the south and north edges of town what must’ve been the work sites.

Scaffolds and rigs, enormous and collapsed and scattered across the site. Cranes and cart tracks left in utter ruin. All surrounding deep and tremendous holes in the ground, boring deep into the earth. Their walls were hewn smooth, cylindrical, and narrow enough for a dozen or so people to comfortably stand in, as though dug by great drills which were not there. Chipper’s thoughts went to mining, but that made no sense. If anyone wanted to mine the plateau for resources of any value, they’d dig from its sides and base. That’s what would’ve made sense. No, they were trying to dig deep into the earth, to descend into something or some place beneath their feet.

Before they could ponder why or what, they heard shouting below.

-----

“You! Inside! Get out here!”

The wanderer reached for a rusty sawed off shotgun and crouched behind a fallen desk. The voice outside was sharp and feminine, with a distinct raspy and venomous timbre that was distinctly nonhuman. It reminded him of Dog.

“Hey! I can hear you in there!”

He had barely made a sound, save for shuffling his feet. He needed to get out safely, and couldn’t risk a fight. He didn’t know where Chipper was, the number of fellas outside, or the weapons to their name. He tucked the shotgun in his pants behind his back, flipped his coat down, and stood up with his hands above his head.

“Relax!” he shouted outside. “I’m coming out! Don’t shoot ok?”

The woman outside paused. “We’ll see.” She spat.

The wanderer stepped outside the dilapidated office to meet five armed, insectoid strangers. Centaurs, naturally. The woman at front stood tall on her scorpion-like lower half, gritting her teeth behind vestigial mandibles. The shade of her hat obscured her second pair of eyes, which were as hollow and unforgiving as her first. She held a repeater trained directly on his chest. Between her companions were two pistols, a shotgun, and a wooden staff.

“You armed?”

He flipped his coat to reveal his knife, sheathed and strapped to his belt.

She pointed at the knife. “Drop that. now.”

“Do I gotta?” His eyes darted around. “You got me beat I think.” They unhitched Dog, who was now a few paces down the street to the left. “I mean--” Through his periphery he saw Chipper circling overhead, barely distinguishable from a desert vulture. “--I guess if it makes you feel better.” He reached for his belt with one hand, his other still up.

Damn, he thought, Kid’s smart.

“Hey. Fox,” the lead woman said to the pistol-armed man behind her, “Pat him down.”

The wanderer sighed. “Look man, that ain’t necessary.”

Fox hissed back: “You started it. This is our spot.”

“If ya wanna be technical I think it’s theirs’.” He gestured towards the bonfire as Fox approached. He had two heads on the wanderer as he skittered closer. Wanderer glanced to Dog, then to Chipper, then back to Fox. Fox reached under the wanderer’s coat, his rough hand approaching the stashed shotgun.

The wanderer whistled.

The gang readied their weapons to shoot. Fox flinched, giving the wanderer a window. He grabbed Fox’s hand, yanked him closer, then flipped off his coat over Fox’s head, blinding him. Fox shot off his revolver, which missed and hit a post behind the wanderer, who pulled out of his coat into his shirt and vest. The gang leader took a hasty, reckless shot at the wanderer, which Fox kindly blocked.

While the shotgun guy and pistol gal were readying their shots, they were quickly taken down by surprise. On command, Dog came charging down the street, leaping to shotgun guy and trampling him quickly. Pistol gal yelped in surprise at Dog, failing to notice Chipper divebombing straight for her throat. They descended on her violently and slashed her throat open in her talons, and Dog took a bite out of shotgun guy’s head.

Fox’s body fell dead to the ground, leaving the wanderer without his meat shield. With the staff man occupied with Dog and Chipper, the wanderer was stuck with the leader. He made a dive to the right, grabbing his knife belt and narrowly avoiding another shot. Now behind cover, he reached for the shotgun and prayed. He leapt up and made a shot.

He was incredibly lucky he shot with his right arm, otherwise the explosion might have permanently maimed him. Instead, the gun’s misfire sent a layer of tar splattering the surrounding area, and launching the wanderer to the wall behind him. The leader missed another shot.

Staff man, who we’ll call magic man instead, quickly drew his hand along the length of his staff. As he did this, the upper half of the staff became bathed in wild, arcing lightning. He held the lightning staff in his hand like an ax, and charged forward to strike Chipper down. As he wound back for a swing, Chipper held their wings back, and their outer feathers came alight. He swung the ax, which would have sent a bolt of lightning up into the air, striking Chipper and killing them instantly. Instead, with a flap of their wings, it launched backwards towards magic man, riding up to his hands and electrocuting him dead on the spot.

The leader was enraged. As she continuously missed her shots she approached the wanderer, who lay on his back on the deck of the sheriff’s office. Panicked and without the shotgun, he drew his knife and crawled backwards. Now the leader stood over him, training her rifle on his forehead. The wanderer futilely held out the knife in self defense. She cocked the rifle, and Chipper and Dog snapped to her and hurried to stop her.

“You...You bastard!” She yelled. “Die! You rotten little--”

She took her shot. The wanderer brought the knife to his defense.

What exactly he planned, or what instinct compelled him to try and block her shot with a very regular knife of all things, was completely beyond him. But he did, and as he snapped the knife to his face--with the edge facing his attacker--he felt something. It was not the sensation of a bullet entering his skull and exiting the back of his brain. No, it was the knife. It was not the feeling of the knife in his hand, not the wood grain against his hands or the weight of the blade. No, he felt through the knife, as though it were an extension of himself. He felt it pulse as though blood ran through it, and he felt it glide through the air just the same as wind passing over his arm. When the bullet passed through the knife, splitting in two pieces and embedding into the deck beneath him, the pain was excruciating. Excruciating, but completely unharmed and alive.

He and the gang leader shared a shocked and confused look, neither able to comprehend what hand just took place. The wanderer lowered the knife. The leader raised her gun again.

The wanderer threw the blade, which embedded itself in her heart. She collapsed on her back.

-----

“Are you...are you ok?”

“I uh,” the wanderer said, sitting up where he had just laid, “I think so...I have no idea.”

“You are unharmed,” said Dog, in the wanderer’s mind. “You are shaken to your core by what you have just experienced, but physically you are well.”

“Thanks bud,” said the wanderer, short of breath and sarcastic. “Can always count on you.” He wiped sweat from his brow. “...Actually, thank you. For the assist. You guys saved my ass.”

“Of course we did! We’re a team!” Chipper was alight with pride and adventurous spirit. Behind the wanderer, they saw the split bullet holes in the deck. On the right was a normal dent in the wood. On the left though, Chipper could not explain. They saw, sprouting from the bullet hole, were tiny weeds, green and fresh and full of life.

“Sir,” Dog said, “I hear someone coming.”

[queerchoicesblog]

Epilogue: Underwater (SC Titanic, Zetta x Adele Series)

As promised, here the epilogue of the Zetta x Adele Series, folks. 

This is the very end of a project that meant me quite a lot to me and got me through the last terrible year. Thanks to all those who supported it: hope you enjoyed it and will enjoy this ending.

In case you were wondering, this song inspired the whole series, particularly the last chapters:

I will skip the tag list for once since it’s pointless anyway. 

➡️ Ch. 1, Ch. 2/1, Ch. 2/2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, Ch. 6, Ch. 7, Ch. 8/1, Ch. 8/2, Ch. 9, Ch. 10/1, Ch. 10/2, Ch. 11/1, Ch. 11/2, Ch. 12, Ch. 13, Ch. 14, Ch. 15 , Ch. 16, Ch. 17

_________________________

Almost a century after the sinking of the RMS Titanic and to celebrate Canada becoming the first country outside Europe to legalise same-sex marriage, the Canadian Film Institute decided to work side by side with several LGBTQ+ organisations across the world to put together an exhibition focused on the early queer cinema and the many queer stars who were forced to hide their true selves in the Golden Age of cinematography, spanning from 1890s till the aftermath of Second World War. "A testament to the role the LGBTQ+ community played in the history of cinema and that we have always been here, even if people hardly saw us" as a journalist wrote on a queer magazine. After the recent discovery of some private documents, the curators were overjoyed to include an icon of the 1900s - 1910s cinema like Zetta Serda into the retrospective and cast a new light on her extraordinary career sadly soon forgotten after the advent of the sound era. Yet, the silent picture star was mentioned as a model and 'endless source of inspiration" by many queer movie stars like Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Greta Garbo all part of the retrospective. Rumor has it that as soon as she landed in America, Marlene Dietrich demanded his agent a meeting with Mrs King.

A curator drove all the way to Montreal to meet the last known heir, a certain Mrs. Julia Nowak, who greeted him on the threshold of a cosy downtown apartment. She offered him a coffee and a slice of a Polish sweet bread: the recipe was a family heirloom, she explained, beaming. She was in her late fifties, a therapist, she said. Her hazel eyes gleamed when she added, in a pleasantly soothing voice that betrayed a hint of excitement: "I must confess I am so incredibly happy that you contacted me about the retrospective. I adore the idea and I will make sure to attend it. Also" she nodded to a wedding picture hung to the wall "did you know that my wife is in politics? She campaigned for the legalisation...yes, Madeleine Fournier: see, you know her! We got married right after the law passed. If anything, your call and project made me twice as happy". She took a pause, smiling over her coffee in remembrance. "Anyway, back to the matter of your visit...yes, as far as I know, I am Zetta's last heir. As you probably know, my family wasn't officially related to her but she stated otherwise in her will". She moved to the couch and gestured the curator to follow her as she opened up one of the boxes and chests piled into the living room and picked out an old album, the leather cover worn at the edges. Dust waltzed in the air as she opened it with caution and gentle care. She showed him a slightly discoloured black and white picture of a young couple kissing for the camera in front of a church. Another wedding picture, from a different era. "Nana Hileni and Papa Maciej's wedding picture. I still remember them even if they both died when I was barely a teen...as if one couldn't bear to live without the other. Or so I like to think. She would help me with the homework, mathematics particularly, and he baked this bread for me till he was too weak to do so. He always claimed that he won Nana's heart with his pastries but she always denied it laughing". She passed another picture of the same couple proudly standing in front of the Nowak family bakery in Hoboken. "Frankly, I believe that Papa's broad shoulders and Marlon Brando smile are more likely to blame for this coup de foudre" she laughed. "And he knew how to deal with her no-nonsense attitude and vice versa. They...balanced each other, if you wish". She picked another picture and handed it to him. A woman was looking down in tender adoration and awe to a baby nestled in her arms looking up at her, outstretching a tiny arm in an attempt to touch her face. "There! This is Dad" she pointed at the baby before turning the picture where someone wrote 'Alex meets Auntie Adele'. Turning it again, she pointed at the woman. "This is Adele Carrem. Or Auntie Adele as I've always heard calling her. Nana's sister and Zetta's publicist and companion" Putting it back into the album, she carefully picked a bunch of other old pictures. "You surely know who this one is" she smiled, handing out the one on top. The photo was rather grainy but you could still recognise the same kid, slightly older, around two, sucking his thumb, cuddled up in Zetta's lap. The actress had aged a little but her features were unmistakable and it was endearing to see her sitting by the fireplace to read that kid with the sleepy face a bedtime story. "Sadly, I have never met them. I wish I did, oh you have no idea...but stories of them lived through in our family" Julia continued. "My Dad loved his Aunties - as he called them - dearly and by what I've heard and read, they loved him in manner as if he was their own. He knew little of them or Zetta's career back then...to him they were just the sweet ladies who would buy him ice-cream in Central Park or take him to see his favourite pictures over and over again at the movie theater. He said he will never forget the afternoons he used to spend with them in a Manhattan cafe that no longer exists around Christmas: Nana and Papa worked like crazy as the festive season approached and the glorious cup of hot chocolate with an elegant puff of cream on top with the Aunties became a tradition to him. He kept it alive somehow as he did the same with me". She handed the curator a bunch of other pictures: Zetta cleaning up Alex's face smeared with jam, the both of them laughing; Zetta posing with Maciej and her Dad at a table in the Hoboken bakery. He eventually mirrored her smile seeing a five years old Alex at the beach all engrossed in building a sandcastle with Hileni and Adele, and he standing at the water edge hand in hand with Miss Carrem, looking out into the distance. "These are family pictures. I'll show you the Zetta's private memorabilia we cherished". Julia searched a little, opening an old chest and handling every item inside with tender care. When she found what she was looking for, she showed the curator an elegant set of smaller boxes containing letters, dried flowers and photos. "I have already received an offer to get these published. I'm still pondering it. Before agreeing, I want to consider throughly if this is a thing they would have wanted, even if they're no longer here" The curator nodded as she kept searching. He skimmed a few letters and smiled as his eyes fall on the photos hidden away in those boxes: the two women sitting together and chatting at Hileni's wedding, Zetta's reading a script, lazily sprawled on a chaise long in her apartment. Some had short lines handwritten on the back, like a promotional picture with "Missing you" written by Zetta herself. The curator showed another to Mrs Nowak: a visibly excited Miss Carrem proudly showing to the camera a document announcing her voter registration. On the back, in Zetta's penmanship: "On the way to vote...my sweet Adele won!". "Oh you didn't know? Auntie Adele was a suffragette! I couldn't believe it when I first heard it! Nana told me that she was in and out jail when they lived in London because of protests. You know, like those suffragettes you read about in history books but less famous. Yet she fought for women's rights and kept fighting for them even in America. She was quite disappointed though by some major decisions of some feminist movements and eventually joined a socialist Union 'more rightfully welcoming working class individuals, immigrants and black brothers and sisters'. It's all in those letters but yeah, you couldn't possibly know. So little is known about her outside family". A little smile drew on her face as she put back the photo. "That photo was taken the day of the first election open to women. I checked the date. I suppose Zetta wanted to immortalise the moment...it was sweet of her, huh? Auntie Adele must have been so proud and overjoyed that day! You know, my Dad was born in 1920 when women's right to vote was legalised nationally and Nana once told me that Auntie commented the lucky coincidence saying she was incredibly happy her nephew would get to live in a fairer world. She was a true force of nature...she never talked much of the sinking of the Titanic just like Zetta and Nana actually but when one day Dad asked...he was barely a child and probably found an old article about the tragedy...Auntie Adele minimised but Nana assured him that her sister saved her life that night, risking her own to go down to the belly of the sinking ship to bring her to safety. Auntie simply shrugged, saying that it was what sisters do and that they made it to the lifeboats only thanks to Zetta, who shouted protests to stubborn officers and eventually found them a spot on a boat. I cannot even bring myself to imagine how scary that must have been: I cried so much when Madeleine took me to see Leo and Kate...to think they were there and it was all real!" She picked a few other objects out the box: a Shakespeare Sonnets book in a leather cover with golden engravings, with a little handwritten dedication 'To Adele, my sonnet 116. Happy birthday! With all my love, Zetta'; old scripts with annotations, a framed photograph of Adele and Zetta slow dancing barefoot in the living room of a gorgeous Long Island mansion. "These have a sentimental value" Mrs Nowak noted, her voice betraying the flicker of emotions as she picked it up. She took a deep sigh and continued. "I remember the day I told Dad I was gay as it was yesterday. We had always been quite close so it came natural to tell him first. We were in his car, he had come straight from college to pick me up at ice-skating practice. I..I dropped it in the middle of a conversation, bracing myself for the worst. I heard so many bad stories about coming out to your parents I was terrified of the consequences but I couldn't hide it anymore. I mean, yes, in public: bullies get even nastier if they know and I didn't want people shouting me "dyke" at school. But I needed to get it out of my chest...with someone at least. He kept quiet for a moment and I felt like drowning in shame. But then he spoke". A nostalgic tender smile formed Julia's lips. "He said he had two amazing Aunties that contributed to make his life a wondrous adventure. It was thanks to them that he, the son of a baker, could attend a prestigious college, for instance: they offered to pay for it without asking a penny back. They also helped him write his first romantic letter to his childhood sweetheart and consoled him when the little girl turned him down. But his Aunties had a secret, he added. He said: to my kid eyes they were no less a couple than Mom and Dad and at home we all treated them in manner but one day Mom made me promise to behave differently when we were in public. In public I would refer to her sister as 'Auntie Adele' but call Zetta by her name. He didn't get it and it took some getting used to. He soon noticed that even the Aunties behaved a bit differently out in the sun: they wouldn't hold hands or use endearing words in the street or when other people were around. They simply behaved like good friends did. He understood it later when he, as stubborn as a mule, asked them directly". Julia gently grazed her fingers on the glass of the framed photograph, caressing it. "And they told me everything, he said. That they were in love, just like mom and dad were, but people out there could be uncomfortable and extremely rude to women loving other women and men loving other men. That they kept their companionship a secret in public because those people had no problems with women being friends and they didn't want to have bad words or worse happening to them. I remember asking him what he thought about it. He smiled. 'I cried. Since Auntie Zetta mentioned people claiming that women like them were sick and would burn in hell, I actually started crying. I sobbed desperately in her arms, crying that I didn't want them to burn in hell, I loved my Aunties and I was happy they loved each other. Eventually they explained me it was just a vile lie spread my malignant people. But I got quite a scare and kept staring at them with puffy red eyes and my face wet with tears for a while. It required lots of cuddling to bring a smile back on my face'. He shook his head, laughing of his endearing naivety. Then he pulled over and looked at me. He continued: 'I still don't get why people keep spreading those mean lies but I know for sure that my Aunties weren't sick and didn't end up in hell and so won't you. Don't believe bullshits like that for a split second, okay? And I also want you to remember that it doesn't change a thing for me and mom too. You will always be my little girl, our little girl and we love you'. We shared a long hug before driving back home. On the way back he insisted to buy my favourite chicken and waffles for dinner, saying mom's veggie soup could wait. For my birthday, a month later or so, he asked me to follow him to the attic and showed me this chest. To meet the Aunties that 'would have surely been there for me'". She tipped away a tear. "I told you I married Madeleine right after the legalisation of same-sex marriages. My wedding was also the last public event Mom and Dad attended together before his health worsened irremediably. He passed away last year". For a moment she looked on the verge of tears but she recovered quickly. "Sorry...anyway, that day Dad insisted on walking me down the aisle even if he was getting weak. He beamed with pride when a friend fixed a rainbow ribbon to his jacket. Later at the lunch he read a speech he had written for the day, his hand shaking. He shared the story of his Aunties. He said that despite the hardships their situation forced upon them, they had quite a happy life together, a happiness carefully hidden from the world. He wished us to find something similar to what they shared without needing to hide anymore. He said Adele and Zetta would have been so happy and proud to celebrate with all of us that day" Mrs. Nowak picked the Shakespeare Sonnet book and gave him a fond look. "He brought this to the wedding. And he read for us the sonnet 116, the one Zetta mentioned in her dedication. You know, the one that starts with 'Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments..." ----------------------- A few months later the exhibition on old Hollywood queer cinema and artists opened. Each artist had a room that soon filled with a crowd of enthusiastic visitors. In the first half, in a room arranged as a turn of the century nickelodeon with velvet chairs, all the memorabilia of Zetta Serda's public life: panels explaining the various stages of her career and the birth of her myth, promotional pictures of her performances, articles about her and a copy of a gazette announcing her wedding with the director Richard King. On the wall, on a screen her entire filmography rolled up in loop, bewitching spectators after a century. In display cases: the gorgeous sapphire necklace she wore on her last night on the Ship of Dreams and at the movie party of Surviving the Titanic, and a replica of her Cleopatra costume. The aging Queen of Egypt with a tragic love and destiny immortalised by Shakespeare was her last role back on the theater stage before retiring from the scenes. Old scripts with her personal annotation were displayed with photographs taken on sets and mundane events. The wall hosting the motion-picture screen cut the room in half. On the other side, the hidden half of her life. Her life with Adele no one suspected back then. A life kept secret that now unveiled in front of the eyes of the visitors. The curators discovered that finding public pictures of Miss Carrem was nearly impossible, true to the nickname she acquired as time went by: The Shadow. She stayed at Zetta's side until and even after she stopped acting, showing rare loyalty and devotion, but ever surrounded by this mystery allure. No one, even the most stubborn reporters managed to know anything about her and she was soon dismissed as a Titanic survivor, possibly a fan, who worked as Zetta's secretary and somehow gained her respect. Little they knew about the depth of their relationship and what stacks of secret letters and family memories revealed of the life of Miss Carrem. A panel finally told her story and her secret achievements: Adele, or better Adal, kept fighting for a fairer world and society her whole life and marched for women's right to vote on the famous parade in 1915. She also passed the teaching of Edith Garrud to her American sisters. The only pictures of her came from the Nowak family, except for one. The only photograph of a public appearance of Miss Carrem as well as the only known public appearance of Zetta and Adele. An old grainy photo accurately framed showed Adele shaking hands with The Unsinkable Molly Brown on a podium. In her free hand a shiny medal and a few steps behind the mayor of New York. According to the panel, the survivors' committee founded by Mrs. Brown decided to award Miss Carrem a medal for bravery and a generous check "to help her and her sister starting a new life in America". With great surprise, Miss Carrem received the medal and the check, thanked the board but refused the honors. Instead, she asked to deliver them both to the family of a certain Charlie Stoke, a stewart that lost his life in the sinking to save her life and those of many passengers. She added that her friend expressed the desire to study naval engineering one day and she wished that the money kindly offered to her would be enough to establish a scholarship for boys like him across the ocean. In another picture, Miss Carrem and her sister chatted with Moll Brown in company of Zetta. Eventually, other philanthropists and wealthy socialites signed checks for her cause so that the Stoke family received a generous contribution too. And today, as another picture confirmed, the faculty of naval engineering of the University of Newcastle hosts a marble engraving of Charlie Stoke: to his memory a scholarship had been instituted one year after on the anniversary of the sinking. Since 1913 it has been helping students of poor background to get an education and improve their life. Zetta herself became a philanthropist during her Renaissance and ever since. The first act of her new phase of her life was joining the Moll Brown survivors committee to provide help to the second and third class passengers families and survivors. Some said that the tragedy she witnessed touched her heart, other claimed that it was to be attributed to the influence of her publicist. Jokingly, she used to say that after all, she had too much money yet all she could have wished for in her life, so why not doing some good with it? A considerable donation under her and Mr King was received by the main hospital during the Spanish flu pandemic; she was particularly active in providing financial help to struggling neighbourhoods and female education institutions. In the middle of the room, a long glass display hosted the Shakespeare Sonnets opened at sonnet 116 and a selection of the private correspondence between Zetta and Adele. My darling, You will receive this letter tomorrow morning when I'll be already off to Chicago. The suitcases are ready and packed, this is a goodnight note scribbled the night before leaving you to remind you how much I love you and care about you. How much I'm going to miss you even if - thank God! - we won't be parted for long... Do not forget you promised me to write every day! Write to me, Adele, write to me whatever thought crosses that gorgeous mind of you: you know I could you rambling for hours without getting tired of the sound of your voice, of your sparkling wisdom. I wanna know everything. So don't be shy: I'll be waiting your letters with tender impatience. Can't wait to be in your arms once more. Adoringly yours, Zetta - Dear, dearest Zetta, I went to Central Park today with Hileni. It was a gorgeous spring day, sunny, a gentle breeze blowing: 'simply too beautiful to be wasted inside' as my sister put it. Did I tell you that she's still exchanging letters with the delivery boy from the hat shop? I thought they were over but apparently he invited her to the nickelodeon next week. Anyway, walking in the park with her I suddenly realised how I wanted to share that spring wonder with you. When are you coming back to New York? Tell me soon, please. And even 'soon' won't be soon enough: you're always on my mind since you left. But yes, tell me soon so I can make you promise we will go for a walk before the weather becomes too hot. Do you think I can wrap my arm with yours? Is it professional enough for a publicist? Even just for a few steps: oh you have no idea how I would love that! Or maybe you have? I hope so: it'd mean you miss me as much as I miss you when we are apart. Oh, I almost forgot: all settled with that magazine you mentioned before your departure! I negotiated a two pages long interview, plus pictures. And a cover mention. Hope I did well: you have already fired me as your secretary, I must prove you I am just what you're looking for in a publicist... Can't wait to see you again! Loving you always, Adele Only one letter was copied on a panel of its own on the main wall side by side with a blow-up of the picture of Adele and Zetta slow-dancing barefoot and free, for a blessed moment immortalised in a discreet shot. Adele pressing a tender kiss on Zetta's forehead, drawing a soft smile on the acrtress' lips. Many visitors commented it was heartwarming to see such a photograph that conveyed the intimacy and the warmth of affection radiating from the dancing couple. Some said that Zetta was even more beautiful like that: free, hair slightly askew and genuinely happy, loved. What stole their hearts away though was the letter attached to it. It was no surprise that the curators decided to name the retrospective Underwater. Dearest Adele, Forgive me for the tone of this letter. I am writing it down in bed while I cannot sleep and my mind runs back to you as if we could meet halfway between the miles separating us, in a world of fantasy of our own. It's ridiculous how much I miss you! I want you near, I need you near all the time. Take tonight: if you were here with me, I would be heavenly sleeping in your loving embrace. Most unfortunately, you are not and I'm lying here, insomniac, thinking of you. And about my life. No, don't frown. I am not getting all sad again. It's...bittersweet. And - I'll spoil you the ending so you will stop worrying, hopefully - it gets better the more you proceed. Have you ever felt trapped underwater? I did, my whole life. Always hiding, always measuring words, gestures, gazes not to let them see, not to let them know...so little time to go up and break the surface. Drop the mask and breathe. In, out. Once, twice. In my lowest moments I repeated to my myself: how are you gonna survive? One day an acquaintance with a remarkable passion for the sea explained me and the other bored commensals that you can keep someone alive by breathing oxygen into their mouth underwater. Pretty much like mouth-to-mouth resuscitation helps an unconscious person to regain consciousness. I found it interesting but doubted his words. Then I met you, Adele. My dearest, wondrous Adele. And I learnt that yes, you can't breathe if you're constantly underwater...but you won't drown if you have the right person swimming by your side in those deep waters. Put your lips on me, Adele. Touch me, hold me in your arms. And I can live underwater. With your love, I can live underwater. We can live underwater. I love you. I want to cover a full page of these three simple words: I love you. I want to cry them out and entrust them to the winds, to the night. But what for? Who cares if the world knows or not? I'll whisper them over your lips when we will be reunited. So you can breathe underwater. Counting down the hours separating us, my love. Eternally yours, Zetta

[crystalwillow]

Hesitant

Pairing: Elijah Greene x Casey Valentine (F!MC)

A/N: Like myself, have you ever wondered what a blossoming romantic relationship with Elijah and Casey would be like? After talking it over in a group chat recently, I was inspired to take the leap and write a fiction about just that. I feel like there is going to be a lot of fluff and sweet love ahead. Enough to maybe rot your teeth and make you shed a few tears. So grab a snack, drink and a tissue or two. Maybe three. And settle down to take a sweet journey with two of our favourite residents as they realize they’re falling in love.

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It was another busy afternoon at Edenbrook, and a lot of the staffs pagers had just gone off, calling them to the ER for triage. Casey rushed towards the stairs seeing that the elevators were crowded. At the back of a long queue she saw one of her fellow residents, Elijah at the back, trying to wheel his way through the chaos. She stopped and her legs automatically turned round and carried her over.

“Okay people! Y’all who have legs and can use stairs shift it in that direction. We have doctors here that actually need to use the elevators!” she commanded loudly. Others looking at her in shock as she stopped beside Dr. Greene.

The other doctors knew she had a point and realized it would be quicker for them to take the stairs, so they hurried in that direction. Elijah smiled up at her as he wheeled himself forwards and pressed the button to call the elevator.

“Thanks Casey.”

“It was nothing. I didn’t just become a doctor to help out the people in the rooms who need our care.”

“Join me?” he asked as the elevator pinged and the doors opened. Smiling she stepped inside with him and hit the button for the ground floor.

“You know what sucks?” he asked.

“What?”

“We’re on dinner duty tonight.”

“Awesome. I’ve been wanting to cook this new pasta dish.”

Elijah smiled as he laughed, shaking his head lightly. “You can be real shameless.”

“And? So can you. When you want to be.” She replied as they headed towards the doors of the ER.

“Alright. Professional faces back on.”

“I shall see you after this Dr. Greene.”

“Copy that, Dr. Valentine.”

Casey giggled and then got straight to work at getting people’s symptoms and tagging them correctly. Though when she reached one patient, her heart dropped as she heard his voice.

“Not to sound rude, it’s extremely busy here. Please, talk.”

“I have a slight headache and a bunch of cuts and scrapes. My leg is also in extreme pain.”

Casey knew she had a job to do but she was frozen, scared to look up. It was just a coincidence, some dude had a vocal tone that was similar to her friend Bryce, she just hadn’t detected it yet.

“Casey?” Bryce said gently, wincing as he reached out to place his hand on her shoulder.

No. No. No. Damn it. It is her friend. Taking a brief moment to breathe, she turned her gaze up to him, only to gasp at the cuts and scrapes he had all over him. He smiled softly with an encouraging nod which seemed to give her enough strength to tag him correctly and move on. Once triage was complete, she waited for the other doctors to clear out before trying to leave herself. She looked at Bryce who was being seen to as she waited. As if he sensed her, he looked over and gave a smile as if to tell her he was going to be fine. She looked back at him, a sad frown etched on her face.

“I’m going to be fine Case. It’s looking like all I have is a broken leg.” He called out and smiled as he watched some happiness comeback into her being. As if some life had been put back in her with those few words. She waved and then filed out of the ER behind the last few doctors and headed back to her work.

--- That Evening ---

Casey and Elijah were at home, chilling on the couches with their gaming controllers in hand as they played Mario Kart. They were trash talking and nudging each other as they both had their competitive side starting to show.

“Haha! Eat my banana skin you stupid mushroom man! I’m going to win!” Casey exclaimed as she raced towards the finish line

“Oh yeah? Well why don’t you, eat my dust!” Elijah shouted as he used a mushroom to speed past her and cross the finish line in first place. “Hahaha! Yes! That’s what I’m talking about baby. First place! Out of nowhere.”

“Very slick Elijah. Very slick. Well done.” Casey congratulated with a smile as she placed her controller on the coffee table.

“Aw. Are we not going to do another race?” Elijah pouted

“I’d love to. But, we have dinner to cook.”

“You’re right... We should do that before the zombies return and have nothing. They’d eat us.”

“Exactly. After you.”

Elijah put his controller next to Casey’s and wheeled himself to the kitchen.

“So. Casey. You said something about a pasta dish?”

“Yeah. It’s a basic tomato and basil pasta but I want to try and put a twist to it. My own unique taste. Maybe then it could be referred to as the Casey Special.”

“Not fair! I’d know the secret too. It should be called the C&E!”

“Nope. E is what I call Ethan. During work hours it’s Dr. Ramsey, so when we hang out as friends if I say Ethan, he knows he’s in trouble.”

“Okay. Then how about... The Elijsey Special?”

“The Elijsey Special...” she pondered, looking at the sink before turning back to Elijah with a smile. “I like it.”

“Awesome! So what can I do to help?”

“How’s your experience in making a tomato and basil sauce?”

“I’m pretty good at that, believe it or not.”

“I wouldn’t doubt you for a second. Well, not when it comes to things like this. If you were to do something incredibly stupid on the other hand...”

“What? Like, I don’t know, run down the street screaming “I’m practically Taylor Swift. Watch!” then drop into a puddle, shouting the lyrics to Enchanted. Very passionately may I add.”

“That was one time Eli. And plus. Taylor Swift is one of the most powerful female figures in the entertainment industry. I was doing some promotion for her.”

“At 2am. Walking home from the bar?”

“I’ll have you know, Dr. Greene, All the best things happen with a bar, and 2am involved somehow.”

They shared a look and laugh as they continued cooking dinner. They were just plating up when the door opened and closed, a tired yet frustrated sigh following it.

“Worst. Day. EVER!”

Casey and Elijah shared a look of concern before heading out into the main area of the apartment, where they saw Sienna on the couch. Face buried in a cushion before she let out a frustrated scream. She didn’t seem to notice they were there as they shared a deeper concerned look. Things must be really bad for her to be screaming into cushions.

“Hey... Si?” Casey asked hesitantly.

“Is everything... okay?” Elijah added.

Sienna sat up and looked at them with a little bit of shock.

“Oh! Casey. Elijah. Hi.. I um, I forgot you were home first. I.. Sorry about... all that.”

“Don’t apologize for having feelings.” Casey said as she sat next to their friend

“Yeah. Everyone has them, and if you don’t let them out things get real ugly. Fast.”

“But you guys have never seen me like this before. It’s embarrassing.”

“That may be true. But Elijah and I just finished dinner. Why don’t we sit at the table. You can rant to us about everything that’s made today horrible and then afterwards we’ll watch some movies.”

“I’ll watch movies if we can finish with a Star Wars film.”

Sienna looked back and forth between her roommates, a small smile graced her delicate features.

“That... Sounds like exactly what I need actually. Do we have wine?”

“Only the best red money can buy to accompany a pasta dish.”

“You guys made pasta?!”

“Yup. And the tomato sauce was made by yours truly. So if it tastes amazing... It was all me.”

Casey laughed and playfully shoved Elijah’s shoulder as she passed him to the kitchen and put 3 plates on a tray, carrying it to the table. Elijah followed behind with the wine and the glasses, setting them out and pouring them all a glass as they settled into enjoy the meal. Sienna ate a mouthful of pasta, groaning in bliss.

“You guys. This is amazing.”

Casey and Elijah smiled at each other before turning back to their friend and accepting the compliment with a thanks, and together they all tucked in as Sienna ranted about her day. It sounded rough. She talked about how she had 2 patients die, charts getting mixed up when she knew she put them in the right places. And so much more that made her mood extremely valid. After the meal, just as Casey said, they all sat around the TV and watched movies. Sienna had made herself comfortable in a chair with her blanket. Elijah and Casey sat on the couch, Casey resting her head on Elijah’s shoulder. His heart racing at the close proximity and one question in particular raced through his mind. Does she like me too?

Elijah had liked Casey for a while but didn’t want to accidently blur the lines and ruin the good friendship they’d built. She wrapped her arms around his waist to hug him as she looked up and smiled at him. God, there it was. That sweet smile that matched the scent of her perfume perfectly. After a moment he looked down and smiled back at her as his arm naturally went round her shoulder, hugging her closer. A couple of movies passed before Sienna started falling asleep, saying goodnight to her roommates, and going to her bedroom. Jackie had made it home by now and was at the table eating her dinner. Casey and Elijah finished the movie they were watching and in that time Jackie had finished her food, disappearing to her room for the night as well. Casey sat up, stretching as the movie finished.

“I’m going to the toilet. Then I’ll grab us some more drinks and snacks so we can watch that Star Wars movie yeah?”

“Sounds great!”

Casey left to sort herself and everything out before coming back, cuddling on the couch with Elijah again. They were quite a way through the movie when Casey turned to look at Elijah after feeling his breathing change. She smiled softly and paused the movie, moving carefully to pick him up, turning round carrying him to his room to put him to bed. She then went back and cleared everything away, washed the dishes and was about to wheel Elijah’s chair to his room and leave it by his bed, when the door opened, and an extremely tired Aurora walked in.

“Hey.” Casey greeted softly.

“Hey.” Aurora smiled tiredly.

“Your dinner’s in the kitchen. Me and Elijah made tomato and basil pasta”

“Thanks. I’ll try to keep my eyes open long enough to eat it.”

The two chuckled, then Casey headed off with Elijah’s chair before going to bed herself. She had just closed her eyes when her phone rang. Groaning she answered it.

“This better be important because I just got into bed.”

“Casey... It’s Bryce. You need to come to the hospital. Now.”

Hearing the urgency in Bryce’s tone, she hung up and put her phone down. Grabbing the closest pair of sneakers, she slid her feet into them, tying the laces. Having only enough time to grab her phone and keys, before rushing out of the door. When she arrived at Edenbrook, she quickly found Bryce sitting in the main atrium with his leg in a cast and crutches beside him.

“What’s up?”

“It’s Dr. Ramsey.”

“What about him?”

“He’s in the ER going nuts!”

“Over what?”

“Nobody knows! He just stormed in and...” at a loss for words Bryce just gestured his hands.

“So why call me?”

“Dr. Banerji requested it. Not even he can calm Ethan down, and well he knows you and Ethan sort of.. just get each other.”

Sighing and pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes and rubbing, Casey sighed as she shook her head.

“I’ll see if I can help. But I’m not making any promises.”

Casey turned and headed to the ER walking through the door and was met with a wall of chaos and shouting. Looking around she found Ethan at the foot of a bed, yelling at a nurse to work faster. The nurse looked terrified as her hands trembled trying to get the IV line steady and positioned properly. Sighing she walked over and placed a gentle hand on his arm.

“Ethan.” She sighed sadly.

He turned and looked beside him but just shrugged Casey’s arm off. Too enraged over whatever it was to even speak back, he moved on. Casey sighed deeper knowing she’d have to bring out the theatrics.

“Ethan please.” She pleaded following him, sadness and desperation in her voice.

Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose he turned around. “What is it, Rookie?”

“Not here please. Somewhere... private.”

He looked down into her eyes that she had molded into perfect pools of sadness and confusion. He closed his own eyes for a brief moment, biting his lip before telling her to follow him. Together they walked towards the exit, nurses and doctors alike silently thanking her with subtle nods of their heads. They reached Ethan’s personal office and he shut the door behind them.

“What is it? What’s happened?” “That’s what I should be asking you Dr. Ramsey.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do. Why did you go into the ER and just start shouting. That isn’t you Ethan. Not even when your super stressed about a case do you do that.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe I’m not the amazing person you draw me up to be Casey.”

“What? Of course you are. Okay... so you have a prickly side. But so does everyone.”

“No they don’t Casey. Not like I do.”

“Ethan please. Sto-”

“NO CASEY. YOU STOP! STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME HAPPY. STOP TRYING TO SEE THE GOOD IN ME. JUST STOP TRYING WITH ME. WHILST YOU STILL HAVE THE FUCKING CHANCE!”

She was taken aback for a moment at his harsh tone towards her but as he continued shouting, her resolve hardened, and she punched him full force in both arms. He glared at her then continued shouting. She hated resorting to it, but she pulled her hand back and with a little jump to help boost her higher, she slapped him round the face. Leaving a handprint behind. Shocked, Ethan stopped talking almost immediately and stared at her.

“Fucking finally.” She retorts annoyed, rolling her eyes.

“Did you... Did you just JUMP to slap me?”

“So what if I did. You needed to shut the fuck up so you can listen.”

For about another hour, they sat and hashed out what was making Ethan so angry in that moment. At the end of it he was exhausted and yawning like a baby.

“You should get home Ethan. Get some sleep before tomorrow.”

“I guess so.” He said as he let out another yawn. “Let me drop you home though. You shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night.

“Thanks.” Casey smiled sweetly and headed to the atrium to wait for him to change and come down.

“Ah! Dr. Valentine.”

Casey turned at the mention of her name and saw a brightly smiling but very tired eyed Dr. Banerji walking towards her.

“Dr. Valentine. Thank you for coming here so late. I know it’s a terrible inconvenience.”

“No. It’s no trouble at all. Anything for my friends.” she replied, stifling a yawn behind her hand.

“As a thank you, don’t worry about starting your next shift at 7am. Come in for 1pm. You need the rest you deserve, and it is late.”

“Oh, Dr. Banerji... I- I don’t know if I can...”

“Nonsense. I’ve already watched Ethan do this. I’m not letting you do it too. You’re going home and you’re going to rest. And by rest I mean sleep.”

Casey opened her mouth to protest but stopped when she saw Ethan coming over and just gave a smile and curt nod to Naveen. After saying goodbye’s and Naveen turning down a lift home from Ethan about 6 times, Casey left with her mentor and they headed to her apartment. Ethan parked on the curb and said one more thank you to Casey before they shared a hug, Casey heading inside. When she got to her room, she fell into her bed and went to sleep instantly.  

The next day it was close to 10:25am when Casey stumbled tiredly from her room, heading to the kitchen to get coffee before getting ready for work. She knew Naveen had said 1pm, but she was up earlier than that so she may as well head in as soon as she can.

“Casey?” Elijah questioned as he came out the kitchen with a drink of his own.

“Oh. Hey Eli” she smiled with a yawn.

“I thought you started at 7 today? You’re late.”

“No.” Casey shook her head. “I got called to the hospital last night after you fell asleep. Dr. Banerji all but ordered I go in for 1pm.”

Elijah chuckled. That sounded exactly like Naveen.

“In that case. Could we talk about something before you leave?”

“Could I get my coffee first?”

“Obviously. I’m not a monster”

Casey grinned and went into the kitchen, brewing herself a cup of coffee before joining Elijah on the couch they shared the previous night.

“So. What’s going on Dr. Greene?” she smiled, sipping her coffee

“Well... Are you good with feelings talk?”

“I talk with patients about them all the time. I’m all ears. Whatever it’s about.”

Elijah hesitated before sighing deeply, trouble clouding his eyes.

“The thing here is. It’s about you. And my feelings regarding you.”

“Oh. Have I done something to upset you? Was I supposed to remove your jeans before tucking you in?”

“So that’s how I got to my room. I thought I’d fell asleep elsewhere.” Elijah chuckled. “But no. it’s nothing bad.”

Casey sighed a breath of relief but then confusion crossed her face. “Then what is it?”

“I.... I think I should just come out and say it. I like you Casey. And not just as a friend. I like like you.”

Casey sat in stunned silence as she reveled in his admission. She too had felt something between them. She just wasn’t sure what it was, so never acted upon it beyond a friendship. Though she had no idea he felt the same way. If she even felt what he was feeling that is.

“Casey...”

“Hm? Oh yeah. I’m still here.”

“Are you... okay?”

“I’m fine.” She reassured and drank more of her coffee, watching as Elijah’s face fell.

“You don’t feel the same do you?”

“Elijah-”

“And I’ve just ruined our friendship by admitting my feelings.”

“No Elijah you ha-”

“This was stupid of me. Why would you want to date the guy in the wheelchair? When you can have any number of fully able bodied men at the hospital who could ta-”

“Elijah. Will you stop?!” Casey placed her mug back on the table and grabbed his hands, pulling herself closer to him. He stopped rambling and looked up into her eyes before grinning sheepishly.

“Sorry.” He apologized

“I... I feel something for you.”

“Y-you do?!”

“Yeah. I... just don’t know what it is.”

Elijah looked at their hands briefly before looking back up.

“Would you want to... go on a date?”

“I.... Yeah. I’d like that.” She smiled. Elijah smiled back at her, squeezing her hand lightly and she squeezed back.

“After my shift? I finish at 9:30, maybe we could make a last minute plan to do something?”

“How about I cook for us.”

“Elijah you cooked last night.”

“Not for the whole apartment. Just for us, silly.”

Casey smiled, blushing lightly at her early morning dumbness.

“Oh right. ... Of course.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Nope. You make the choices. I’ll just enjoy the meal, and the company.”

Elijah smiled at her one last time before they hugged and Casey got ready for work, heading out to catch the train across town. She arrived at Edenbrook and strolled up to the diagnostics office, she entered the room as the team was in the middle of a differential.

“Nice for you to finally join us, Dr. Valentine.” Ethan commented with a soft smile

“Sorry, Dr. Ramsey. I was on a train when you paged.”

The team gave her a baffled look before shrugging and getting back to work, filling Casey in. Nothing was going to bring her down. Well... unless something really tragic happened of course. But for now she was going to focus on work and her date with Elijah later that evening.

Later that night she was about to clock out when a nurse came running up to her.

“Dr. Valentine!”

She turned to them, fully alert.

“Sarah? What is it?”

“It’s Dr. Varma. Quick.”

Eyes widening she followed Sarah to where Jackie was leaning against the wall, hyperventilating and sweating profusely.

“Jackie?”

Casey looked on worriedly as Jackie could only spare a quick 1 second glance before looking at the floor again and passing out as she breathlessly said 2 words. “I’m..... fine....” then her world went black, Casey rushing to close the short distance between them before she hit the floor.

“Sarah I need you to find a spare bed asap. I’ll page for help.”

Nodding, Sarah rushed off in search of a free bed, whilst Casey paged Baz and Zaid for help. Within minutes the twin doctors were there as Sarah came back with a bed, stopping it beside Jackie and applying the breaks. Together Baz and Zaid lifted her onto the bed, making sure she was comfortable and covered with a blanket.

“Casey. What happened?” Baz asked

“I don’t know. I was about to clock out, then head off home to get ready for my date tonight. That’s when Sarah ran up to me, informing me something was wrong with Dr. Varma. I arrived on scene seconds later, she seemed to be having a panic attack. All I got from her were the words “I’m fine.” before she passed out.”

“Well clearly, she wasn’t fine!” Zaid snapped.

“Alright bro, calm down please. She isn’t a doctor right now. She’s a patient. We need to treat her as such.”

Zaid wiped his hands over his face with a sigh, knowing his brother was right. He turned to Casey and gave her a tight nod.

“We’ll take it from here. Don’t keep your date waiting. Go.”

Shocked, Casey left the room and the hospital before Zaid could change his mind. She got outside and quickly caught up with Bryce.

“Don’t tell me you actually went to work today.” She chuckled

He turned his head to her and gave a smile. “Of course I did! Not even a broken leg will stop these magic hands from saving lives. Give me a chair and I’m fine.”

Casey laughed brightly beside him as they stopped before parting ways.

“Never change Bryce Lahela. Never change.”

“I don’t plan on it.” He grinned.

Casey grinned back and then they said goodbye to each other and headed home. When she walked inside, Casey smelt something delicious but didn’t dare go to the kitchen and peak, so instead she headed straight to her room grabbing a towel, and getting in the shower instead to wash off the sweat and grime from the days work. After that she felt refreshed, and ready for her date night with Elijah. She opened her closet looking for something to wear, when that feeling settled in. She clutched her stomach and closed her eyes tightly trying to will the butterflies away, but she couldn’t. She was nervous and turning into a sweaty mess. She didn’t want to mess this up. She looked through her dresses, but they all seemed too professional for a date. So she turned to another section, skimming through when she gasped. She smiled at the navy blue jumpsuit with a gold waistbelt. “I forgot I had this.” she muttered to herself as she took it out and off the hanger. This is what she would wear. She put it on, done her hair and makeup then picked out a cute pair of sneakers to pair with the outfit. There was no way her feet would fit back into another pair of heels now. She sat on her bed picking up her phone as it dinged. She smiled when she saw a message from Jackie. Thank goodness she was going to be okay. She typed out a quick reply as a knock sounded on her door. Placing her phone on the bedside table, she opened the door to Elijah who was dressed in a dress shirt and tie, his regular jeans dressing the look down a little but still ensuring he looked somewhat formal. His jaw dropped as he drank in Casey’s appearance. She giggled a little as his eyes roamed her body in a show of adoration.

“Hi.” She smiled

“You’re absolutely gorgeous...”

In the moment of silence that followed, Casey blushed as Elijah continued to stare at her in awe. She cleared her throat briefly then resumed her smile.

“You look very handsome tonight.”

“Yeah... But compared to you... Ahem. Excuse me... Um, dinner’s ready.” He smiled shyly

“After you.” She smiled and followed him to their dining table where he had set up the cutest romantic scene she’d seen in a while.

“Oh! Elijah.. this is...”

“Is it too much?”

“No.” she said shaking her head. “It’s beautiful.”

Elijah grinned and helped Casey into her seat, plates of steaming hot food already at the table. It looked delicious. Chicken fillets, potatoes, vegetable, gravy. It was then Casey realized how hungry she was as her stomach growled loudly, causing a furious blush to spread up her neck and onto her cheeks.

“Uh.. sorry about that. I haven’t really stopped today..” she said shyly, and Elijah chuckled.

“It’s okay.” He reassured and they dug into the meal. After a few bites, Elijah spoke up again. “Is it okay?”

Casey nodded as she swallowed the bite she just took. “I’m not just saying this because we’re on a date. It’s delicious! The flavors are amazing!”

He grinned brightly at her comment and they finished the main dish.

“Dessert?” he asked, taking a sip of wine.

“Did you make some?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’d love some!” Casey smiled and Elijah took their plates to the kitchen and came back with two bowls of dessert, placing Casey’s in front of her first. She gasped when she saw what it was.

“Eli?!”

“Yeah?” he asked with a smile as he put his own bowl on the table.

“You... You remembered?” She said, choking on her emotion. Elijah just smiled with a nod in response, Casey leaning over the table and kissing his cheek making him freeze momentarily before smiling shyly and blushing as they dug into their chocolate cake and cream. The rest of the night went smoothly, conversation flowing freely. They quizzed each other on their medical knowledge during dessert, then moved to the couch where they told each other more about their home lives, and growing up. As the night drew to a close Elijah smiled at Casey.

“I guess I should walk you home.”

“How gentlemanly of you.” Casey grinned as she rose to her feet. Together they made their way to Casey’s room.

“Well...” She smiled, pointing to her bedroom door. “This is me.”

They came to a stop and smiled at each other.

“I had a wonderful time tonight Casey.”

“Me too. You’re a great guy Eli. Would you... want to do this again sometime?”

“Yes! ... I mean, yes. I’d love to do this again.”

Casey smiled brightly, bending down and giving him a kiss on the lips good night.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said softly opening her door.

“Y-yeah. See you tomorrow Case.”

He watched as Casey went into her room and shut the door. He stared at the closed door for a while as he touched his lips, still feeling hers present before smiling to himself.

“Goodnight Casey!” he called through the door, it opened again, and Casey poked her head out.

“Goodnight Elijah.” She replied with a smile then shut her door.

That night Elijah went to bed with a smile on his face, knowing he’d hit the jackpot and was now dating the most beautiful doctor at Edenbrook.

[mywonuderful]

Not So Cold-Hearted Pt.7

Summary: Y/N, a member of a popular newly debut girl group and Wonwoo has what some may call a relationship with emotional ambivalent. Will their relationship remain cold-blooded or will they finally come to an agreement and become something more?

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x Reader

masterlist

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“Why’d you take out her wallet?” Wonwoo asked as they headed back to their down. You were in the middle of a conversation with some of the members when Minghao quietly tippy-toed over your bag and took out your wallet to place it under a cushion. He then excused himself to head back to his room when you saw Wonwoo give him a weird look but brushed it aside since your conversation was more interesting. As you were about to leave, Minghao was about to come down when he heard your conversation with Wonwoo as he ran back into his room to grab his jacket before hopping down the stairs to escort you out.  “Guess you found out.” Minghao hummed, making Wonwoo even more confused. “So what’s the reason?” the curious man asked again, waiting for an explanation as Minghao looked up towards the night sky and let out a sigh as he breath condensed into a cloud. “All the members and I know well enough that you didn’t mean to say those things to Y/N. We know you care about her.” Minghao glanced over his shoulder to see that Wonwoo’s expression soften as he started kicking around rocks as they walked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. That’s how I normally act.” Wonwoo stated when Minghao placed a hand on his shoulder. “Both of you are really dear to me and both of you have a lot of similarities but it’s sad to see that either of you realize or acknowledge it. If this keeps up, one of you guys is going to end up exploding.” 

“What do you mean by expl-” “C’mon, its getting cold.” Minghao cuts Wonwoo off by grabbing his arm, pulling him into their dorm. As everyone headed towards the rooms to rest, Wonwoo was sitting on his bed, back resting against his headboard as he read through his novel when Minghao’s words started circulating his mind making him read the same paragraph for the past couple of minutes. 

“Wo, did Y/N forget her wallet?” Seungcheol picks up your wallet under the cushion. Wonwoo who was watching someone on the TV turns to glance at the wallet before shrugging his shoulder before returning his attention back to the screen. “They just left so you still run out to give it to her.” Seungcheol hands Wonwoo the wallet as he stares at it blankly. “What am I suppose to do with this?” Wonwoo places your wallet on the table, not caring when the rest of the members started gathering around the living room.

“Her and I have similarities? Similarities my ass.” Wonwoo scoff as he mumbled. He lets out a long sigh before placing his book on his nightstand and taking off his glasses.

****

You woke up the next morning, feeling more energetic than usual when your phone started vibrating frantically. You reached over to our nightstand to grab your phone. You turned it on when you saw that you received 10 miss calls from your manager. Shooting up, you quickly called him back. 

“Hello?” “I was about to head up to the dorm to check up on you.” “I just woke up. Is there something wrong?” “Not really... You don’t have any solo activities, right?” “Sadly.” “Hurry and get ready. Meet me at the location I sent you.” You were about to ask your manager what’s with the rush when he ended the call. You pondered about what your manager has in mind for you as you jumped off your bed and excitedly got ready. After cleaning up your face and applying some simple and natural makeup, you hummed as you dancing around in front of your closet, deciding what to wear. You decided to go for something simple yet suitable for the weather so you went for a light washed cropped mom jeans, a loose white blouse and a long brown jacket. You placed on your contacts and slipped on some flat as you headed out the door. As you walked down the stairs of your dorm, you dug inside your bag to find a mask but couldn’t find any. You quickly walked back up the stairs when you got a text message from your manager to hurry up. You inputted the address on the maps and it said that it’ll take around 15 minutes to walk there. Letting out a sigh, you prayed that no one will notice you. 

Fortunately, you got there without too many people recognizing you. Feeling a little disappointed, the scent of coffee beans pushed away your disappointment as you walked down the small street of various cafes. Memories started playing as you remembered your favorite coffee store at the end of the street when you see your manager standing in front of the store. Jogging to your manager with a wide smile on your face, he glances up to your and gives you a double take. “I’ve never seen you smile this widely and naturally in a long time.” He teased as you let out a chuckle and give him a playful punch. You and your members are really close your manager because of our close age, making him quite young compared to other managers. When your group first met him, everyone thought they were mistaken because of how young and good looking he was. Next thing you know, your group started getting attention, but it was for your manager. This brought the connection closer to your manager and the members as you guys would tease him about the past about how everyone mistaken him as an idol. “So what’s the reason we’re here today?” you asked with anticipation. “So I’ve heard the this is your favorite cafe spot.” “Or so you know is what you meant. Remember all those times I told you to help me buy coffee and pastries from here?” You state, admiring the endless trays of pastries displayed alongside the windows. “Yeah, I still can’t believe I’m taking orders from someone younger than me. Plus all those times when I got yelled at for sneaking you pastries when you were dieting.” He teased, making you pout. “Anyways, they’re expecting you so let’s head on in.” He opened to door for you as you entered. The familiar scent of coffee fills your nose as you took a deep breath, closing your eyes from how much memories this brings back.

“Well well if it isn’t Y/N from Eunoia! We’ve been eagerly expecting you!” The cafe manager greets us along with his wife. You smiled and bowed. “Expecting me...?” You mumbled as you scanned around as everything remained the same. “The cafe here was recently hiring new employees and Y/N here so happens to love your cafe so much” my manager places a hand on my shoulder “Ah yes, we’ve heard! Your manager used to buy a bunch of pastries back in the day. You must be the person who he told him to come.” The wife gives our manager a ‘secretive’ wink, when you turned around, giving him a glare before turning back to the couple, chuckling as you felt your cheeks heat up.  “Anyways, we reached out to your manager, to see if their was anyone interested in working here and to our surprise, we’re greeted with the infamous, Y/N! We absolutely love your group.” the husband blushes and smiles are you shook your head, waving your hands as your face started turning more red and red. “No no, that’s too much. I’d love to work here. It’s an honor to be able to work for such a passionate couple who but in so much work.” You smiled widely as the couple bowed as a thank you. “Well then, when can you start working?” The wife’s voice was filled with excitement  “I can start today.” The couple happily nodded as they went to the back to get you a uniform and prepare things.  “I better be getting free pastries and coffee in return.” Your manager bent down and whispers as you turned around to smack his shoulder. He pretended to be hurt before smirking. You bowed to thank him once more before he left to pick up your members from their activities. The wife called you inside to the staff room. Heading on over, you couldn’t wait to tell Minghao about how you finally had something to do.

“This is the only extra uniform we have. I’m sorry if this doesn’t fit you.” the wife hands you a oversized apron. “Is there any dress code I have to follow?” You asked as you tied a knot behind your back. “Hmm... I’ve never been asked that before... I guess whatever you find comfortable and flexible?” The wife laughs as you mentally took note and nodded. She brought you to the locker area where the staff placed their belongings, but it only consist of two lockers. “This will be your locker, dear.” You placed in your purse and closed the locker as you looked at the other locker beside yours. “Oh, that’s just another employee. We don’t normally hire employees so we don’t find the need to have that many lockers.” The wife caught your eyes as she explains. You let out a soft ‘oh’ and nodded along as you brought you to the front. The husband was cleaning the coffee machine as he turned back to see you.

“That apron seems a little too big on you.” He laughs as you smiled in return. “I’ll alter it for you when you finish your shift today.” he started explaining the simple tasks you have to do like restocking pastries, serving methods, wiping down the counters and tables and so forth. “Right, I forgot to ask, do you have any barista or baking experiences?” The wife asks. “I’ve taken a few barista classes in the past. But I’m more confident in my baking.” you explained as the wife pouted and the husband cheered, leaving you confused. “Well, that’ll mean that I can spend more time with her if you think about it because I can teach her.” The wife thinks out loud as her husband shakes his head, making you more confused. “Oh, sorry to confuse you Y/N. I’m a baker and she’s a barista.” The husband explains. “That’s amazing.” you sweetly smiled at their interactions. Seeing them interact so sweetly made you want to live your life with someone like that. As the husband headed back in to start baking pastries for the day, the wife taught you how to make some simple drinks. “Miss, is this correct?” you pointed at the button to click to start the coffee machine. “You can just call me Mrs. Bosa” She patted you on the shoulder. She carried on with her quick teachings until she glanced at the clock, clasping her hands. “Guess, it’s time to open up!” She cheered as she opened the doors and carried out a sign as you started to restock the trays, sniffing the buttery and sweet aroma along the way. “Mrs. Bosa, when does the other staff work?” You asked as you carried the trays back to the kitchen. “The other staff? Hmm I think he should be here anything soon.” She took a look at her watch. “Hopefully the both of you can get along. He’s been working by himself for this whole time so we thought that hiring another staff will allow him to talk more.” She offered you a drink as you told her what you’d like. “That’s nice.” You hummed as you watched her make the drink when the door suddenly chimed, as footsteps were heard. You had your back facing the entrance since you were cleaning up the coffee machine

"Ah, there he is!” The wife exclaimed. Turning around, you bowed to greet the person. “Hello, welcome to Espresso Love Caf-” “Y/N...?” you heard a low husky voice as you looked up and meet a pair of eyes who belonged to no other than Wonwoo “Wonwoo...?” Your eyes widen once you registered who it really was as he had somewhat a surprised expression as well.

<< prev // next >>

[seven-oomen]

Honey, honey | A Buddie One shot

Main ship: Eddie Diaz/Evan Buckley

Wordcount: +- 1600 words

Rating: PG-13, for language, abo mentions, and mpreg mentions

Warnings: Mentions ABO dynamics but isn’t explicit, language, mpreg mention but none of it is very graphic.

I’ve tried finding/writing sensible Spanish but I’m still learning the language so forgive me for making mistakes. I blame the duo lingo owl, he’s trying his best to teach me okay?

Based on the prompt: We've been living together for a few years now, your son calls me dad and recently you started calling me honey. But I never really connected the dots until after I posted a question online and a bunch of random strangers gave me advice. When I finally confessed my feelings for you, you told me you loved me and we've been dating since.

Based on the post: https://seven-oomen.tumblr.com/post/611873995367890944/adding-this-to-my-prompt-list-because-yeah-this

Tagging: @daughter-of-infinity​​ because I saw your reblog of that post and know you wanted a story like this.

He stared at the page before him, biting his lip as he pondered his next move. Was he really going to ask a bunch of strangers online a question like this? What if he was wrong? What if someone he knew found out? What if Eddie did…

But at the same time, he was tired of walking on eggshells. Of not knowing what was going on between the two of them. Don't get him wrong,  he wasn't against Chris calling him papa or against Eddie calling him cariño. Whatever that meant. But it was weird that everything had changed so gradually. He almost hadn't noticed it really, until Tia,  Eddie's aunt, had said something about Eddie finally finding a good Alpha to raise Christopher with at the last family gathering. She had looked fondly at Buck whilst she said it. And that got him thinking. Did she think Eddie and him were dating?

Wait...

Were they?

And so, here he was. Sitting in front of his computer, staring at the Reddit ask page in front of him.

Oh, fuck it. He was already here, might as well ask some random strangers on the internet what was going on. Surely it wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass.

He started tying.

Firehose asked a question:

What does it mean when someone changes what they've always called you?

I've (31AM) been living with my roommate and best friend (37OM) and his 11-year-old son for three years. We've been through so much together,  from earthquakes and the tsunami to a lawsuit and some bullshit with his late wife and other craziness. For us, that's just on the daily.  It happens. But it did forge a really strong friendship between us.

I care a lot about my friend and his son, to me they're family and I'd die to protect them and keep them safe. And I know he'd do the same for me. We're best friends and partners on the job but lately, he's been telling me that "I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him."

And I noticed his family has been smiling at me differently lately. I've been going to family meetings for two and a half years and consider them my family but the air seems to have changed, it's almost even warmer. I didn't think that was possible.

Anyway, I've noticed more things lately.  Like how my friend calls me cariño, I honestly don't know what that means,  and his son started calling me papa about a year ago. Which is absolutely adorable and something I encouraged, I'll admit.

But the cariño thing is bothering me as my friend smiles at me and touches my cheek when he says it. Now, we've always been very tactile in our friendship and we're completely comfortable around each other but this made me feel a bit weird. Not bad weird, just something that makes me feel something but I don't know what or why.

I just don't know what this means and I don't know how to respond to it except smile at him. Cause it does feel kinda nice. I don't know how to talk to him about it, we've never discussed our sexualities. Honestly, I'm still not sure of mine.

We've just always been really close,  shared a bed during nightmares kinda close but I honestly don't know how to breach the subject with him. Am I reading too much into this? Am I dating my best friend without knowing it? Honestly, any kind of advice would be appreciated at this point. I don't want him taking this the wrong way.

TLDR: My best friend calls me cariño and his son calls me papa. I don't know why and I'm too scared to ask. I feel a lot of things but I don't know if either of us is bisexual or gay. I don't know what to do with myself. Should I ask him if he has feelings for me?

The next few days were filled with responses from Reddit. All of them pretty much said the same thing. Just ask him out already. Talk to him. Or oh my god, you are totally dating, you dingus...

So he figured he might as well take the next step. He asked Eddie that night after they put Christopher to bed.

They were watching tv together on Eddie’s bed, a beer in hand and shoulders touching.

“So- you know how you always call me cariño? What does that mean?” He asked.

Eddie gave him a rather amused look and chuckled. “It means darling or sweetheart, maybe honey, you know. It’s a term of endearment. I thought you knew that?”

The Omega cocked his head at him and scooted closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. And it felt nice to be held, so he couldn’t help but relax in his hold, laying his head on Eddie’s shoulder as he stared at his beer bottle.

“I-” he bit his lip- “I didn’t. And I just- I don’t know. It’s confusing... “

“What is?” Eddie genuinely looked concerned. He felt terrible for causing it and he wanted nothing more than to hug his best friend and press a kiss to those lips.

Fuck.

“I- are we- Eddie are we dating?”

Eddie looked at him as if Buck had gone insane and snorted. “Excuse me? What do you-” Realization seemed to set in as Buck only looked more confused at Eddie’s amusement. “Oh, you stupid bastard…” Eddie chuckled, “Buck, we’ve been dating for two years.”

It was like a floodgate had opened and another realization came over him. The handholding, laying in bed together on most nights, taking care of Christopher, Buck coming with them to family gatherings, Eddie coming to him for comfort or affection. Holy shit... How had he missed all of that?

Neither of them had dated anyone else in the last three years, he hadn’t even looked at anyone. The only people he really wanted to spend his time with were Eddie and Christopher. Hell, they went to the zoo together, to the movies, they went out for dinner- just the two of them- in fancy restaurants even.

And it had never clicked. Not even once.

“Shit…” He looked up at Eddie in surprise before breaking out in one of his trademark beaming smiles. “Guess we have been.”

Eddie gently put both their beers on the nightstand beside him and pulled Buck closer, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Eres corto de luces, pero te amo de todos modos.” Eddie mumbled, shaking his head. (You are not the brightest bulb, but I love you anyway.)

“And that means?”

“That you’re stupid but I love you.”

He couldn’t help but smile at those words, gently cupping Eddie’s cheek as he pressed his lips against the Omega’s. “At least I’m your idiot,” He murmured.

“That you are.”

-

UPDATE: What does it mean when someone changes what they've always called you?

TLDR: You were all right and I was dating my best friend without realizing it. But guess what? We talked and now we’re married with three kids. Crazy what a year can change, huh?

So yeah, you guys haven’t heard from me in a year but I decided it was time to let you all know what happened between me and my best friend. So we talked that night after I posted my original story. Turns out I was dating him all along and never put two and two together. Until he did it for me. We talked that night and some other stuff and decided to take the next step together.

Naturally, everyone I knew had a good laugh about that one. Apparently, there was a betting pool on when I would realize I was dating my roomie. My sister won that one by the way.

So within the week my friend and I were engaged. He asked me, with some help from his son. It was adorable, really. He set up this really nice picnic for the three of us in the park, near the lake where we like to hang out on our days off. And he had his son come up to me to show me something he caught. (We both like insects, it’s kind of our shared thing.)

Turns out, our son was actually holding a ring. An engagement ring. And when he handed me the box, my friend took my hand, kissed it and asked me to marry him.

So of course, I said yes. We got married about six months after that. But it turns out that our night of ‘talking’ had some unforeseen consequences, and my husband was six months pregnant with twins when we walked down the aisle.

Yeah, so we married and two months later our son and our daughter were born. Our daughter in an elevator during a power outage and our son in an ambulance, on the way to the hospital. Because nothing in this family ever goes as planned it seems.

It’s been a wild year and if I think about it, I have all of that thanks to you guys. So thank you, for helping me realize what I had all along.

-

He finally closed his laptop and looked over to where Eddie was sleeping on the couch, Robert and Rosalie on his chest as they napped. Chris was silently drawing some pictures next to him at the table and grinned when he noticed Buck was looking.

Yeah it had been a crazy year all around, but truth be told, he would do it all over again.

-

So let me know what you all think of this one, would love to hear it. I very much enjoyed writing this. It was fun to just let my thoughts go and not worry about writing something good. I had fun and it made my day a bit brighter. And honestly, I hope it does that for other people too. So let me know if it did for you <3

[parisian-nicole]

Amends Pt 5 (Bamon Fic)

Previous Chapter: https://parisian-nicole.tumblr.com/post/615052961421410304/amends-pt-4-bamon-fic

****

"What are you doing Damon?" Stefan greeted his older brother from the threshold of the front door as Damon approached. Damon inwardly groaned while his face held an emotionless expression.

"Entering my home," Damon answered nonchalantly as he tried to cross the threshold, only to be stopped by Stefan's hand pressed on his chest. He looked down at the hand and then up at his sibling. He didn't resist when Stefan shoved him back out the door, walked out after him, and shut the door behind them.

"You know what I'm talking about. How could you bite Bonnie?" He asked as he folded his arms across his chest and cast a hard glare at Damon, who looked a little surprised that Stefan knew.

"Were you spying on us?"

"No, but when Bonnie came in, I smelled you all over her, and I smelled her blood, which had also slightly stained the collar of her shirt. Then I noticed how dilated her eyes were," Stefan replied. "I thought you said you were going to do things differently this time around. Taking advantage of a young girl is something 'old' you used to do."

"I didn't take advantage of anyone," Damon nearly growled out as he rolled his eyes at his brother. "Bonnie 'asked' me to bite her."

"Why would she ask you to bite her?" Stefan questioned mainly to himself as he pondered on it.

"Go ask her," Damon spat out. "I am really sick of constantly having to defend and repeat myself, but I'll say it once more for you little brother. I would never hurt Bonnie. I'd rather die than hurt her."

"I know you wouldn't Damon, I never doubted that," Stefan said. "My concern is that you're using your knowledge of her future to manipulate her. What do you hope to accomplish, Damon? What are your intentions with Bonnie?"

"Currently, my intentions are to keep her alive and safe by any means necessary."

"And once that's done, what then?"

"That's a very broad question, little brother, be more specific," Damon said around a sigh. He was growing annoyed with this interaction and interruption to his bedtime plans with Bonnie.

"Are you trying to have a romantic relationship with Bonnie?"

"Right now, I am just trying to become her friend by showing her the man that I became as opposed to the man she knows," He stated as Stefan watched him silently waiting to hear the answer to his question. "And if that develops into something romantic between us, I would welcome it with open arms," He added and this time Stefan nodded his understandings.

"So, you're still in love with Bonnie?" Stefan made the statement.

"Yes … Wait …" Damon frowned up at his brother's question, genuinely surprised he had been aware.

"Yes, Damon, I noticed it even way back then in that other life. When you returned from Kai's prison world without Bonnie it became very clear to me from the way the loss of her affected you," Stefan cut in and answered Damon's uncompleted question. "I think even Elena saw it. But once Bonnie was back home you focused back onto Elena, and I figured that you finally matured and realized you couldn't have them both and just chose a life with Elena."

"And if I could turn back the hands of time," Damon said lowly as he stared off a moment and then he snapped his eyes back to his little brother as a wide smile spread across his face. "Oh wait, the hands of time have been turned back by Kai. Now, I can make the right choice."

"And life with Elena wasn't right?" Stefan countered as his brow bunched a bit with concern.

"It just wasn't what I had envisioned."

"No, it never really is, and the same could be said about any kind of life you have envisioned with Bonnie too, Damon."

"Except I also shared a life with Bonnie and believe me it was a great life," Damon offered. "She showed me how wonderful things could have been. And I can't tell you how many times I wanted to just run away with Bonnie, how many times I had asked her…"

"Wait, you and Bonnie were having an affair. You two were cheating on me?" It had been Elena's disapproving voice that posed the question, and the Salvatore brothers looked over to the now opened door where she stood eavesdropping. Stefan scowled up a bit at her but her behavior just pulled a laugh from Damon. He honestly hadn't minded the intrusion as it would allow him to escape from Stefan and get to Bonnie, which was what he had wanted, and it also afforded him a chance to make things clearer for Elena.

"No, Elena, Bonnie was always a true friend to you, and she would never do something like that. It's not in her nature. As for me, 'I' didn't cheat, get pregnant, and then pass another man's child off as mine," Damon spoke calmly with his demeanor and voice showing no malice. Though his eyes spoke of his anger and hurt. Both Elena and Stefan stared at him in shock and disbelief. "And yeah, I know that you, right now, technically never did it, and now you never will, not to me at least," He tossed on. "But I still can't help hating you a little bit for it. I still loved and raised our daughter Stephanie like my own, and she never knew I wasn't her father. I never even told you that I knew the truth and we stayed married until your death. But that's all water under the bridge as they say. Now, if you two will excuse me I am going to head upstairs to do some reading before bed," Damon then moved back to the door and walked past Elena without a glance as he entered and headed to their library.

"No, that can't be true. I can't believe I did something like that," Elena spoke again as she hugged herself, shook her head in denial, and seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"As Damon said, you haven't done it yet and now you never have to," Stefan said and then he too walked off and left a confused young woman to stare after him longingly. She had recently been told that once upon a time she had two great loves in the Salvatore brothers, but she now realized that she would likely never get to experience it. This made her feel bereaved and bitter about it.

A short time later

He had entered through their adjoining door. He hadn't intended to enter unnoticed but Bonnie was seated on the window seat strumming on a guitar, he had never known she owned or could play as expertly as she was. She was completely unaware of his presence and when her beautifully melodic voice touched his ears Damon was transfixed where he was, completely enthralled.

"Childhood living is easy to do

The things you wanted I bought them for you

Graceless lady you know who I am

You know I can't let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldn't drag me away,

Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain

Now you've decided to show me the same

No sweeping exit or offstage lines

Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away."

Bonnie sat staring up at the full moon hanging high in the sky as she strummed the guitar strings, still oblivious to her audience as she continued to sing.

"I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie

I have my freedom but I don't have much time

Faith has been broken tears must be cried

Let's do some living after we die

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses we'll ride them someday

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

Wild, wild horses we'll ride them someday."

"That was fucking amazing Bon-Bon," Damon's voice scared her as she leaped up and nearly dropped her guitar. "I mean, seriously, you should be recording albums and sharing your voice with the world. Why have you never told me you could sing like 'that'?"

"Because we're not BFFs yet, remember?" She spoke around a kind smile as she coyly ducked her head and averted her eyes to his accolades. "And since you seem so surprised, I take it I never shared it with you even after we were BFFs. Truthfully, singing is a 'just for me' hobby I have. I've never even performed for Grams."

"Then I am truly honored," Damon said sincerely as he placed a hand over his heart and gave her a bow. "And now that I know I will be expecting more. You truly sing like an angel, Bonnie."

"Thank you," She replied as she blushed and then quickly changed the subject before, he asked for an encore. "So, you've really come to tuck me in and read me a story I see," She nodded towards the book he held.

"I am a man of my word, and I see you're all ready for bed," He said as he took in her attire, a lace strapped cotton gown that fell just above her knees. Damon couldn't help the way his eyes raked appreciatively over her frame, nor could Bonnie stop the deep blush it pulled to her cheeks. "Now hop into bed and I will read until you drift off," He said and she settled her guitar on the window seat, moved to the bed, and hurriedly scurried under the covers. Damon moved to the chair in the corner, but before he could settle into the seat Bonnie called to him.

"You know, this bed is plenty big, we could share it and not even touch one another," She stammered nervously. "If…if you want to. I…I mean, instead of sitting uncomfortably in a chair all night," Damon watched her intensely with his head slightly tilted as if it helped him to better gauge her true thoughts and feelings. After a few seconds, he gave a curt nod and then moved to the bed. Bonnie scooted further to one side to ensure there was a comfortable distance between them on the oversized bed. Once they both were settled in, he began reading. It wasn't long before Bonnie had drifted off to sleep, and he had closed his eyes to rest them for a moment.

He snapped his eyes open when he felt a sudden weight across his chest and warmth against his body. His eyes scanned his surroundings briefly before they settled down upon the serene face of Bonnie, who lay with her head nestled upon his chest. He figured by her position and by the moonlight now shining through the window that they had been sleeping for a while. He shifted a little with the intent to disentangle from Bonnie and go to his own bed, but it became futile when he realized she had a firm hold on him which tightened whenever he moved. He smiled broadly as he chuckled and placed a gentle kiss against her forehead.

"Bonnie," He whispered to her. He wanted to rouse her enough to make her shift and release him but not awaken her fully. She frowned and grumbled slightly but then rubbed her nose into the nook of his neck and quieted once more. "Bon-Bon," He called to her again around a kiss. "I should probably go to my own bed now," He continued to whisper.

"Comfortable … warm … smell good," Was all she mumbled out which invoked another chuckle from Damon.

"Yes, all very true," He teased having sensed she was more awake and would hear him, and she giggled in reply.

"God you are such a conceited asshole," Bonnie whispered out as she moved her head back a little, slowly opened her eyes, and gazed up at him.

"Also, true and just a part of my overall charm," Damon replied with a wink and smirk. They both grew silent as their eyes scanned the other's face. Damon was struck by just how flawless and gorgeous Bonnie was at such close inspection. And then his body became fully awake to the fact that hers was so close and he became suddenly aroused. "I think I should probably leave," Damon spoke again but made no movement.

"Yeah, I think you should too," She concurred through a sigh but still didn't move to release him. "But then I remembered the part about you being comfortable and warm and … Oh," She squeaked out as her eyes enlarged at feeling the bulge in his crotch. She gulped down a sudden lump in her throat as she stilled the leg that she had innocently brushed across his lap. "I'm sorry," She spoke even lower than the whispering she had been doing, and Damon could almost smell her embarrassment along with a pleasing womanly scent that spoke to her arousal. When she tried to remove her leg and shift from him, he quickly yet gently captured the bare leg across his lap and held it still. Bonnie locked her questioning eyes up to his and she was greeted with black eyes that had just a hint of their normal blue hue around the edge of the pupil.

Bonnie knew she should have pushed him away, used her magic to fend him off, but she didn't. She didn't feel threatened by Damon's touch or being so close to him. In this moment, her urge wasn't to recoil from him, it was to grip at him and pull him closer. It was a feeling so overwhelming that she trembled a little from the need. Damon wasn't conflicted at all about what was happening between them. He had already decided he was going to grab hold of any opportunity that presented itself that would get him closer to Bonnie. He wanted her and he wasn't afraid to let her know how much.

"If you want me to leave just say so," He offered her a means of escape.

"I think you should," She replied.

"Yes, we both recognize that I 'should', but do you 'want' me to?" He asked her as he traced his fingers against the back of her thigh and pulled a shaky gasp from her lips. After a second's pause, she shook her head no. "And what do you want me to do?" Her eyes became panic-stricken to the ideas that popped into her head and by the fears that accompanied them. "I already told you, I won't do anything that you don't want me to do, Bon-Bon," He assured and she felt some mild relief.

"Do you…" She held the question for a moment before she decided to be brave and continue. "Do you want to have sex with me, Damon? Is that what this is about?"

"No," He replied point blank and then grew silent for a second before he continued. "I didn't come here with the intention to seduce and bed you. And I honestly have no desire to have sex with you," He added and Bonnie quickly dropped her eyes from his and nodded her head as she tried to extract herself from him, but Damon only tightened his grip on her leg. "To me, sex is too quick and really requires no feelings or connection. It's just an act," He started to explain and was able to recapture her attention. "Just two body seeking its own gratification. I could have that with anyone, I have had that with many. And I don't want that anymore and definitely never with you."

"Right, I heard you the first time," Bonnie grumbled out offended and embarrassed as she once more tried to pull away. Damon smiled a little knowing she was misunderstanding him.

"You, little bird, are too delicate and too special for just sex," He spat out in contempt as if the idea of it was so beneath her. She stilled and locked her eyes back onto his. "You must be handled with care and worshipped. And any man blessed to have you would never be foolish enough to rush through it. So, no I don't want to have sex with you Bonnie, but I would give anything to make love to you, slow and deep," He added with a lowered tone as he moved his face closer, and surprise-filled Bonnie's face at hearing this. "Some would tell you they're the same thing, sex, and lovemaking, but I promise you they are not. And I would be happy to show you the difference someday if you ever wanted me to."

"Jesus," Bonnie hissed out under her breath as a jolt of wantonness began to fill her. Her eyes rolled closed for a second before she pushed back the feelings filling her, opened her eyes once more, and refocused back onto Damon. He basked in the effect he could see he was having on her. "No, I don't think I am ready for anything sexual yet. I've never even gone on a real date with a boy before," Bonnie confessed. "And this is insane, you do know that, right? I mean, like seriously Looney Toons. You're my public enemy number one, my nemesis. The antagonist to everything I do and everything I stand for. You're like Darth Vader and I'm Luke Skywalker," She continued and pull a laugh from Damon. "I'm being serious, Damon," She chastised even as she too giggled along with him. "This, what we're doing right now, and what we're thinking about doing, it's not supposed to be happening. We're supposed to hate each other and two days ago we really did hate each other.

"Well, it was more like 60 years ago from my point-of-view," He threw in as he lifted his hand from her thigh, reached up, and carefully brushed her hair from her face. He then traced his finger over the bridge of her nose down to her lush lips. Which he had to fight himself not to kiss at that moment.

"Yeah, and that's quite the conundrum, isn't it? You see me as your best friend and someone you love. I see you as an evil bloodsucking fiend, who I can't trust."

"Is that how you still see me, really?" Damon questioned and though his face gave nothing away, her words still stung him.

"No," Bonnie replied as she shook her head slightly. She knew her words had hurt him and something inside her needed to placate him. "Not really, and that confuses me and it really terrifies me too," She confessed and he felt his heart lurch at now seeing what he was doing to her. "There's this voice inside of my head screaming at me right now, saying that we should not be in bed together, not like this, and that I shouldn't trust you." She said even as she remained still pressed against him. "It's screaming because it's not as loud as it was yesterday. Today I can barely hear that voice. I've always heard it so loud and clear since I was a little girl. I've always trusted it and it has saved my life. And in just a couple of days you, of all people, have turned down the volume of that voice, and I can't believe I just told you all of that," She tacked on as she frowned up a little as her mind began to reel. "Damon, this isn't right."

"But It feels right, and I think you feel it too. And that's why that voice isn't as loud as before," Damon replied.

"No, I mean this all feels … it feels too easy. I don't know why I would let you get this close, and tell you all that. And you, before you've been more subtle with your feelings toward me. Now, you're being sort of on the nose with it. It just doesn't feel like it's…" Her words stalled as her eyes widened a little. "Oh no," Her frightened gaze and words push away the haziness Damon had been feeling and he focused on her distress.

"What is it, what's wrong?" He questioned as he sat up fully and allowed her to do the same.

"I don't think this is real," Bonnie answered as she quickly hopped from the bed and moved to the door that adjoined their bedrooms. She groaned a little when she found that the doorknob wasn't tangible, but was plastered like it was painted onto the door.

"What is it?" Damon asked as he watched her closely.

"I'm sorry Damon," Bonnie spoke as she turned back to face him as he now moved from the bed to stand closer to her. She hugged herself defensively as she nibbled at the bottom of her lip. "I'm dreaming and I've accidentally brought you into my dreams," She finally stated.

"Wait, you think we're in your dream?" He said in a disbelieving tone while he eyed the familiar surroundings. Then one second, they were standing in the darkened bedroom and the near second they were standing in what looked to be an endless field of poppies on a sunny day.

"I know we are because I can control it," She answered as Damon twirled in his spot trying to take in everything. "Just give me a minute and I should be able to pull us both out," She said as she took a deep breath and began to close her eyes.

"Wait, where are we right now. In the real world, I mean?" Damon stopped her as he gently grasped her wrist. Bonnie returned her gaze back onto his.

"Revelare," She spoke out a spell and a mirror appeared before them suspended in the air, and in the mirror, they saw themselves, both sound asleep in their own beds. "Looks like we're safe and sound asleep."

"So, whatever we do here in your dreams it doesn't affect our bodies out there?"

"No, our bodies kind of shut down as our minds drift into a kind of a catatonic state," Bonnie replied. "Besides, breathing and our hearts beating we don't move, can't move."

"But this all looks, smells, sounds, and feels very real," He said as he reached down and plucked one of the poppies. He then turned to Bonnie and tucked it into her hair.

"It is, we still have all of our basic senses here. The best way to think about it is, it's like our minds have been transported to a different place. You're still you and I am still me, but here in dreamland, we're more uninhibited. We can think, act, react more freely then we might when we're awake in the real world. It's more laid back and carefree here."

"So, we can do whatever we want here without any real repercussions when we go back to the real world."

"Not exactly, I mean, it wouldn't affect anyone else, but 'we' could be affected, because we'll remember everything we do here in the dream once we're back in the real world," Bonnie explained.

"Good, because I want you to remember this," Damon said right before he tugged her against him and captured her mouth in a deep, sensual, toe-curling kiss. When he released her Bonnie was sure had he not been holding her close her legs would have given out. Her head suddenly became foggy as the desire she had been feeling toward him ever since he confessed, he would sacrifice everyone just for her, began to fill her once more. She suddenly became hot all over and her breaths came in pants.

"Damon," His name was spoken with such heady desire that it surprised them both; her because it had been her own voice that spoke, and him because her need was palpable to him. Damon took this as an invitation and flashed his fangs to her a split second before he latched them into her neck. He didn't hold back this time as he pulled her into a swift orgasm which he didn't allow her to relish before he had pulled another, more intense orgasm from her along with a scream of elation. "Ahhhhhhhhh!"

Bonnie bolted upright in the bed, screaming her pleasure at the top of her lungs, while she clutched at her neck and sought to grip the head that was no longer there. She snapped her eyes open to find herself alone in the large bed she had been given in the Salvatore home. As she tried to calm herself both of the adjoining doors to her bedroom opened. Sheila rushed to her granddaughter's bedside while Damon lingered at the threshold of his door, where he watched them. Hints of his vampiric guise still evident on his face as he huffed out breaths. He too was coming down from his own orgasm which he had experienced in their dream.

"Bonnie, are you okay?" Sheila asked in concern as she clutched both of Bonnie's arms in her hands. "Babygirl, what happened?"

"I'm okay, Grams," Bonnie finally spoke with labored breaths. "It was just…" Her eyes darted over to where a more composed Damon now leaned against his door jamb staring at her heatedly. "I had a nightmare," She finally lied as she averted her eyes down to the bedding in fear her Grams would know she was lying to her. Before the elder Bennett could probe further the main bedroom door burst open and Elena and Stefan rushed in.

"Bonnie, are you okay? We heard you screaming," Elena spoke in a panicked voice as she rushed over to her best friend. Stefan locked his eyes onto his brother as he stood just in the doorway. Damon simply sent him a shrug in reply to the question he saw in his little brother's eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just had a nightmare is all," Bonnie repeated her lie. "I'm sorry I woke everyone up."

"It's nearly 7 o'clock, I was already up doing my morning meditation anyway," Sheila said as she placed a kiss upon her grandchild's forehead and then took a step from the bed. "I'll go start breakfast. How does scrabble eggs, bacon, pancakes, and freshly squeezed orange juice sound to everyone?" She asked as she moved past Stefan at the main door.

"Delicious, Sheila, and I'll help you," Stefan offered as he followed her out of the main bedroom door.

"Are you sure you're, all right?" Elena asked once more as she sat on the bed next to Bonnie. She reached up and stroked her fingers through Bonnie's hair to tuck it behind her ear. "What's this?" Elena questioned as she pulled her hand back which now held a bright red poppy flower. Bonnie instantly snapped her eyes to where Damon lounged in his doorway. She could see his eyes darken with lust as he stared back. "How did you get a flower in your hair?" Elena continued her probing.

"I put it there last night," Damon was the one to answer. "I picked it during our walk in the garden just for Bonnie," He added to the lie and got the reaction he had wanted. Elena bowed her head a bit and handed the bloom back to Bonnie, who took it in hand.

"Well, I am going to go get dressed and then head down to breakfast," She then stood from the bed. "I'll see you down there?" Bonnie nodded.

"Thank you for checking on me Elena," Bonnie spoke out to her friend who she could tell was sad though she wasn't sure why, but had her suspicions. Elena tossed her a nod and a smile and then without another word or glance back she exited the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Bonnie threw back the covers and climbed from the bed. She purposely avoided Damon's gaze as she moved to the bureau and pulled clothes from its drawer. "I'm sorry I brought you into my dreams last night, Damon," She spoke with her head bowed a bit while she busied herself with picking her clothes and avoiding looking directly at him.

"Well, I'm not sorry, and you can invite me into your dreams whenever you like, Bon-Bon," Damon replied and he was so close to her that she did look up at him in surprise. He stood right beside her now, towering over her. "How did this happen?" He posed the question as he placed the poppy flower, he had picked up from the bed back into her hair and then turned her slightly until she was staring at herself in the large mirror that was attached to the bureau.

"I don't know," She replied as she frowned up a little contemplating it while watching Damon's hand gently stroke her hair around where the flower rested. "That's never happened before and it shouldn't be possible, to bring something from my dreams out into the real world. I'll have to research it, maybe check the Grimoire."

"Why not just ask Sheila about it?" Damon asked as he trailed his hand down from Bonnie's hair onto her neck.

"Because she'll want to know about the dream," Bonnie answered as she captured his eyes in the mirror. She could feel herself become aroused by his fingers which were brushing across her clavicle bone. "Stop that," She spoke in a lower voice in a tone that told Damon she wanted him to do anything else except stop, but still he removed his hands from her body. "What happened, what we did … Damon, it was just a dream-"

"No, it was a revelation Bonnie and you know it … you felt it just like I did," He cut her off as he took a step closer into her space and she now had to crane her neck to look up at him. "You don't have to be afraid of it. It doesn't ever have to happen again," He continued and Bonnie's heart mourned at the thought of never sharing such pleasures with Damon. "Unless you want it to. You have all the control, you know? All of it, so we can go as fast or as slow as you want. Or we can stop it all now before it gets any deeper."

"You mean before our feelings start to get involved?" She asked and he shook his head.

"No, my feelings are involved because I already love you," He confessed freely and Bonnie didn't act surprised because the way this Damon had acted and the way he spoke to her, told her how he felt. "But I will not try to force you to reciprocate. While you and I do have a very loving and respectful relationship in your future, it was never a sexual one. Yes, there were moments…" He looked off at the nearby wall as if he were lost in that memory and then refocused back down onto her. "But you would never indulge them, and I would never push you to."

"Because of Elena," Bonnie spoke this as a statement, not as a question.

"I didn't push because of my care and respect for 'you'. But in your case, yes, it was for Elena's sake. In every friendship I've ever seen you have 'you' were always the better friend. Always, giving regard to the other person even when they didn't give you the same regard."

"Even with you?" She asked curiously.

"Especially with me," He answered honestly as he chuckled. "You know how I am now, I mean, the Damon of this time. I only get worse in the coming years. First, I became consumed with having Elena, and then when I get her, I became consumed with keeping her. Even if it meant sacrificing her witchy best friend to any big bad that came along," Damon became nervous at the emotionless look now on Bonnie's face. He had decided he would be open and honest with her but now he feared he had divulged too much.

"That sounds like a scary but amazing kind of love," She said as a slight feeling of jealousy filled her.

"No," He shook his head to that idea. "It wasn't really. I was more obsessed than I was in love," He countered. "And you helped me to realize that fact. I just wish I had realized it sooner," Damon let his thoughts wander for a second before he shook his head and refocused back onto Bonnie. "I guess none of that matters now."

"Because now you plan to do it all differently, right?" Bonnie offered as she used his earlier words and he nodded in agreement. "And what does that mean exactly? I mean … What are your plans for me, Damon?"

"You tell me," Damon countered as he stepped away from her and back to his bedroom door. She turned to stare after him, her confusion evident on her face. "From now on I won't say or do anything that will make you feel confused or scared about our relationship. As much as it pains me to say it, maybe Stefan has it right. Maybe I have been using my knowledge of our future together to manipulate you. But no more. I'm giving all the cards to you, Bon-Bon. So, you have to tell me how our relationship will go, or if you even want a relationship of any kind with me. If you don't want me around, just say the word and I'll leave Mystic Falls, once we've eliminated this Kai threat. You think about it and just let me know what you decide," With that said he exited her bedroom through their adjoining door.

Bonnie stood there a few moments staring at the closed door. She knew Damon was trying to do the right thing by letting her control their situation. But the thought of it just caused her more fear and confusion. She felt that keeping Damon at arm's length would be the easiest choice for the people she loved, but there was something in her heart that told her if she did it would be a great loss for her.

****

Song: Wild Horse By The Rolling Stones (I was thinking of 'The Sundays' version)

Read entire fic here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13488758/1/Amends

[iamnmbr3]

Quarantine Fic Rec List Part 1

Since we’re all bored/stressed in quarantine, I thought I’d do a couple of rec lists. For this one I’m mostly doing some very well written but more unusual fics that you might not have come across before. I’ve listed the fandom and ships for each.  

So Much More Than That by brocanteur (complete | 4,005 | T | Mean Girls; Regina George/Cady Heron ) 

"And she missed Cady Heron. She missed her and blamed her for everything." Post-film.

The Richest Men In Town by copperbadge (complete | 2,476 | G | It’s A Wonderful Life)

George Bailey, a year after meeting the angel Clarence (second-class), gets a message from Clarence via an unlikely third party: H.F. Potter.

A Marital Education by Yahtzee (complete | 12,707 | M | Pride & Prejudice; Elizabeth/Darcy; period typical) 

Darcy's impotent.

The Kindness of Men by debit (complete | 2,476 | G | Black Beauty; Fixit)

The last time Ginger saw Black Beauty, she'd said, "I wish the end was come, I wish I was dead. I have seen dead horses, and I am sure they do not suffer pain."

Once Around the Block by ecouterbien (complete | 1,134 | M | The Drop; Bob Saginowski/Nadia Dunne)

She was shaking when he let her out of the bar, and it wasn’t because of the cold. It wasn’t even a long walk to her house, a block and a half at most, but it was the longest walk she ever remembered taking. She counted every breath, every footstep, all the time listening for his steps on the sidewalk behind her. He wouldn’t just let her go like that, would he? Not after what she’d seen him do.

You look so Seattle by chaosmanor  (complete | 8,955 | T | Venom )

Eddie and Venom are in Seattle chasing leads. Shit gets blown up. And there's fish.

A Princess And A Guy Like Me by Yahtzee (complete | 7,107 | T | Rapunzel/Flynn Rider)

“Rapunzel has never had choices before. I want her to have choices now.”

I nodded. “Absolutely.”

He meant, at least in part, choices of guys to marry who were not impoverished orphans/recently reformed thieves.

gunna pass me to that house above by deadendtracks (amonitrate) (complete | 625 | T | Peaky Blinders )

This wasn’t the trenches but it was the closest Alfie’d been to pinned down since he got back, and while Tommy wasn’t exactly a friend, that didn’t make him an enemy, now, did it.

A Broken Soul by wheatear (complete | 4,529 | G | Harry Potter)

What exactly is the nature of a soul? And when Lord Voldemort so willingly split his own soul in half, what damage did he do to himself?

dying out on burnt rage by lunaskeeper (complete | 2,576 | M | Peaky Blinders; Tommy Shelby/Alfie Solomons; period typical attitudes, POV outsider )

John hadn’t seen the same, trapped look in Tommy’s eyes in his office. And all of a sudden it was bubbling out of John’s mouth, a question he'd been pondering since he’d met Stefan’s shaky gaze with his own.

“Have you ever sucked cock?”

Rara Avis by Coryphasia (complete | 14,854 | G | My Fair Lady) 

The night after the Embassy Ball, Eliza Doolittle walked out on Henry Higgins and disappeared. Three years later, she returns to see if wrongs can be made right

'til the walls did crumble by arahir (complete | 3,742 | G | Game of Thrones’ Jon/Tormund) 

Jon Snow and Tormund Giantsbane and their giant dog go camping with a bunch of Wildlings. What happens next will SHOCK you. (They are buddies who fall in love lmao.)

“Not worried, are you?”

“For a crow boy? Never.” Tormund looks away, off toward the mountains in the distance where the Fist of the First Men sits as a jut of stone in the ice fields, which are turning greener day by day. “Don’t let them keep you down there, Jon Snow. Don't die in the South."

Be Careful What You Wish For by The_Necroposter  (complete | 225,838 | M | Twilight; very dark, spitefic, horror, proceed with care; skip to the end for an author’s note in which the writer epically calls out the problematic aspects of the original canon ) 

What if Breaking Dawn wasn't a Mary Sue fantasy, but a story with a plot, character development, and consequences? What if Bella's transformation actually was a sacrifice, and not only her getting used to an alien body was a challenge, but also staying alive in a world filled with enemies? Find out how a naive, selfish girl grows up and copes with the biggest mistake of her life.

Naming of the Beast by NeurotropicAgentX (complete | 1,316 | T | Venom; pre-canon symbiote world building) 

Consciousness hit like a wave, like a signal, like an attack. There had been nothing and now there was a jumble of concepts and thoughts and impulses. It writhed and thrashed, at once realising that it had a body that could do this, that could express this new consciousness.

It screeched.

Sequence by NeurotropicAgentX (complete | 2,882 | E | Venom; sort of Venom/Riot - pre-canon symbiote world building) 

I’ve never encountered anything like those blades you formed during your hunt, Venom sent, carefully, cautiously.

I acquired them on a mission. There’s a lot of interesting information to be found out there. Riot’s close-range chemical messages carried strange accents of complex biomolecules Venom had never felt before. The taste was a clear indication of just how much of Riot must have been shaped by past hosts and alien genetic information from beyond the stars. Venom wanted.

Show me? it asked.

No Living Man by ElanaBrooks  (complete | 732 | G | Lord of the Rings; Parody) 

In which the Witch King learns that, for an inhabitant of Middle Earth, the knowledge that no living man can harm you is no reason to get cocky. AU, Humor.

Here is a truth (here is another truth) by SecondStarOnTheLeft  (complete | 2,012 | M | Pirates of the Caribbean; James Norrington/Elizabeth Swann ) 

Here is a truth: James Norrington loves his wife, but he is completely incapable of believing that she might return the compliment.

Here is another truth: Elizabeth Norrington, née Swann, is a much more patient woman than she has ever been given credit for.

Bahamian-Style Mooring by syllic  (complete | 10,370 | G | Shawshank Redemption) 

Five times Red got things in Zihuatanejo (and one time he didn’t need to get anything).

Lunch and Other Obscenities by Rheanna (complete | 9,717 | G | Star Trek 2009; background Spock/Uhura)

Nyota liked her roommate just fine until she met her.

Nom de Coeur by Dorinda (complete | 12,725 | G | Casablanca; Rick/Louis)

This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship--but beginnings are only seeds, and it's a long way to Brazzaville.

Five Ways to Stop Being a Princess by igrockspock  (complete | 3,560 | T | Star Wars; Han/Leia )

1. Spend a night in the smuggling compartments of the Millennium Falcon 2. Learn to fire a blaster without closing your eyes 3. Get drunk and go to bed with an unsuitable man 4. Yell at people who ask if you're okay 5. Go to bed with an unsuitable man even when you're sober

elioenai by Anonymous  (complete | 6,002 | G | MCU Daemon AU )

Tony falls through the space between worlds. As a result, he can see daemons. It kind of freaks him out. (It's stranger and more beautiful than he could have ever imagined.)

The Sergeant and the Captain by OddityBoddity  (complete | 7,316 | G | MCU )

The Sergeant and the Captain, or, The True and Accurate Reports Chronicling the Well-being of the Shield-brothers James Barnes and Steven Rogers, Faithfully Submitted by Thor Odinson to Maria Hill, Director.

Special Circumstances Questionnaire for Sexual Partners (Male): Long Form by coruscera (impractica), linbot (complete | 1,320 | E | Fandom Culture Parody )

Does having sex with you entail becoming married, whether legally, magically, physiologically, or some other de facto permanent relationship? Y/N If Yes, please describe our new life together.

[blooms-of-ice]

RP Log: Wyda welcomes Cyrus to the company

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn lingers by the company entrance, and every so often she checks a note she’s written on her hand. Whenever someone passes by, she gives them a good, long stare...clearly waiting for someone in particular.

Cyrus Leafwalker Shuffling the paperwork in his hand he checked each number as he passed the estates, the subdued hiss and clank of his armor announcing his arrival before the lanky elezen actually appeared on the doorstep. Adjusting his glasses he looked up, confirmed the number and then the large woman standing out front.

Cyrus Leafwalker: Ah ha..was my arrival expected..or is this coincidence?

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn looks at Cyrus, then at the smudged writing on her hand. An...an elezen, with blonde hair. Yup, it all checks out! With arms wide open, she approaches him as if he’s an old friend. “Ah! Yes, and no. Heard there were new recruits, so I’ve been keeping an eye open! I’m Wyda, nice to meet you.”

Cyrus Leafwalker He beamed a genuine smile at the woman greeting him and gave a half bow in the way of greeting. "Cyrus, I've recently been hired on to your company and decided to make my way here" His glasses slipped down his beaky nose a bit to be pushed back into place.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “You’ll find us a friendly bunch! No better crew to kick ass and, well...get your ass saved by.” She sheepishly grins, having been on both ends of that story. “Are you from around here?”

Cyrus Leafwalker motions to himself.

Cyrus Leafwalker the smile turned into a frown for only a brief second before he spoke. "Ah..now that's a complicated question. To be honest I have no idea where I'm from..nor do I possess any memory at beyond a scant handful of months."

Cyrus Leafwalker: I was found wounded and near dead in the forest, Apparently I had taken quite a hit to the head. It's rendered me an amnesiac.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn’s eyes light up, and she regards Cyrus with a growing curiosity. “Oh, really? That’s weird...I’m glad you’re mostly in one piece though?”

Cyrus Leafwalker: After a bit of nursing and mending I was indeed made whole again. At least so far as my body goes. The mind...well..My memories may return or they may be ever lost to me. Only time will tell.

Cyrus Leafwalker shrugged. If he was bothered by it he hid it well. "I was found with only this armor and sword in my possession, and naught a thread more. No emblem of house or any indication where I might have hailed from"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn looks as if she’s about to say something, and then gasps. It was rude of her to let Cyrus sit out here in the open. “Oh! Shall we continue this conversation inside? Warm fires and good drinks await.”

Cyrus Leafwalker: Aha. Yes please..my journey was long and I am *famished*

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Right this way! Mind the pillar, and stairs.” She hurries downward.

Cyrus Leafwalker: Ah...this is quite welcoming.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “You think so too?! Very cozy, right?” Wyda is clearly very excited about this, and dives behind the counter. She starts pulling out random snacks and drinks from the area. Just sort of creates a mountain of foodstuff on the bar. “This is my favorite spot.”

Cyrus Leafwalker looks around, Growing wide eyed. The homey nature of it stirred a feeling of warmth in him he could not explain, but the smile that graced his lips said what words did not. His gaze fell back to her and that smile widened further. "I can't recall ever feeling so welcomed anywhere. Truly...I think I'm going to enjoy my time here"

Cyrus Leafwalker reached out to pluck a small bit of pastry from the tray, munching it thoughtfully. "Oh this is..heavenly"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn - With expert-like speed, she opens a bottle of rum and pours herself a glass. It’s a motion she’s practiced at least a thousand times. Afterwards, she raises it to Cyrus, offering him a glass without words. “So, you don’t remember a thing, huh? Do you...want to remember?”

Cyrus Leafwalker took the offered drink with a nod of thanks as he pondered her question. "I..don't know to be honest. I am curious how I came to be in such a state..surely I have a family somewhere?" He threw back the drink and set the glass on the table, grimacing at the burn. "But no ones come looking...or recognized me. So mayhaps there is naught to remember.."

Cyrus Leafwalker: Cyrus is most likely not even my name..but the one I was given by the one who tended my wounds and nursed me back to health.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn sips on her own drink, pondering his words. “A name, your own or given later, is still important. And even if you don’t remember anything of your past, the memories you’ve made since are still precious.” Wyda shakes her head, unsure of where she’s going with this. “I guess I’m trying to say, take your time. And we’ll be here to support you, whatever you choose.”

Cyrus Leafwalker nodded and gave a reassuring smile. "I am not overly burdened by my lack of memories. The ones I currently have are good ones, and I'd not trade them for anything in all the world" He snagged another bit of pastry. "I *am* Cyrus, Who I was cannot..must not be a shackle to who I will be. It is much the same for those in full accounting of their lives, is it not?"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn cheers to that! It’s refreshing to see someone in a similar situation as herself push forward with such optimism. “You said you were bonked on the head earlier? We’ve got medical services for that, if it’s still bothering you. Though I’m no help for matters like that...the only thing I’m good for is punching baddies, pretty much.”

Cyrus Leafwalker shook his head, tapping his temple with a finger. "I am of sound body if not mind" He said with a soft laugh. "Now it is simple a roll of the dice, For now I am content to be as I am."

Cyrus Leafwalker: Though perhaps I'd like my coin purse to be a bit heftier. Thus why I'm here.

Cyrus Leafwalker laughed.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn nods in agreement. “Hah, yeah! Plenty of jobs and coin to go around. It’s not without risks, so...” She glances at Cyrus’s armor and weapon. “Are you some sort of defender? Like a knight?”

Cyrus Leafwalker pondered for a moment before placing a hand over the magitek armor. "So it seems...I can fight though I know naught where I learned the art. I've made what little coin I have by selling my sword"

Cyrus Leafwalker: My armor was in a sorry state when it was returned to me. Apparently the battle that took my memories was a fierce one. I've spent almost all the coin I've earned repairing it.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Like your body remembers...” She nibbled on her bottom lip, thoughtful. “Well, you’ll find we’re dealing with much of the same at the company. Monsters to hunt, bandits to bring to justice. Every so often, something really risky pops up...Pays good though.”

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Once your pockets are full of coin though, you start to wonder whether it's worth it. For me, it’s more about doing the right thing now.”

Cyrus Leafwalker He nodded. "My first memory was an act of kindness...I want to repay that kindness to any who might need it. I am also blessed with steel and skill, these things I would like to use well, In defense of those who have it not."

Cyrus Leafwalker: But alas...I cannot protect anyone if I am wasting away homeless in the gutters.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “It’s hard to balance, huh? Those who can’t pay often need our help the most.” She finishes her glass, and refills it until it’s precariously full. “Just gotta do our best.”

Cyrus Leafwalker: We charge the ones that *can* afford it so we can help the ones who cannot.

Cyrus Leafwalker: Balanced upon a swords edge..as it seems that most of life tends to be.

Cyrus Leafwalker rather he liked this state of things was impossible to tell.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn nods, though as of late she hadn’t been able to do much herowork. All the more reason to get back into shape! She raises the glass and takes a sip, drink spilling all over her hand as she does so.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “You and I....we’ve only just met, but I feel like we share quite a few similarities. I look forward to working together.” The corner of her mouth lifted into a smile.

Cyrus Leafwalker that smiled returned, it seemed to fit his features well. "I feel the same. I look forward to working together and getting to know *your* story, For certainly it must be more interesting than mine" With that he laughed that soft musical laugh.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn shakes her head with a laugh. “Things were simpler when I /didn’t/ know my own story! And I can scarce believe anything that’s happening.” She gives Cyrus a hard look. “If I said it involved ‘evil twins,’ would you believe me?”

Cyrus Leafwalker looked a little stunned but shrugged. "It's hardly any more odd than a bereft knight awakening in the wood with not a memory to his name. Though I admit "

Cyrus Leafwalker "Evil twins" was not quite what I was expecting"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn chuckles. “I know right? It’s straight out of a thriller novel...and a bad one at that. Would much rather read about something else, something with a happy ending and more slapstick humor.”

Cyrus Leafwalker smiled at her and met her gaze. "I dare say you've not even neared your end. There is plenty of time for you to find happiness before the finale, And humor too beside"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn gives Cyrus a tired, half-smile. “There is, isn’t there? It’s easy to forget sometimes. But I digress, this is all too depressing to chat about! Come, why don’t I show you around the house a bit more?”

Cyrus Leafwalker He pushed his glasses back into place and nodded. "Please my lady, lead the way"

Cyrus Leafwalker: Ah ha..this is lovely.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn is thankful that the subject has been changed, and leads him to the upper floor. “Yeah! A bit of an indoor garden, and our library to boot. If you’re the scholarly type, we’ve got a wide selection of books, from ten-gil paperbacks to encyclopedias.”

Cyrus Leafwalker frowned a bit, had he inadvertently trampled on her feelings? "Ah..yes I do enjoy a good read, a guilty pleasure"

Cyrus Leafwalker runs a finger along the spines of the books, quickly perusing the titles.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn pulls out a book, whose cover is mostly taken by a swooning maiden and a beefy sailor, set to a backdrop of roses. “I’ve read this one a few times, if you want recommendations. Very...steamy..”

Cyrus Leafwalker a slight flush touched his fair cheeks and brought forth a laugh, the frown vanishing. "And all semblance of my being an honorable knight would vanish" He teased with a wink.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Embrace it!” She pushes the trashy romance novel into Cyrus’s hands with a laugh. “I won’t judge.”

Cyrus Leafwalker He took it with a smile, Seeing her laugh put him at ease. "I will give it a read, but let this stay between us" He said with a chuckle.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn places a hand over her chest. “I solemnly swear, won’t tell a soul. Unless said information is key to saving your life.” She gives him a sly grin.

Cyrus Leafwalker took a moment to ponder how a romance novel might save his life, but considering the oddity of his last few months..he didn't dismiss it out of hand. "What a story that would be, saved by a romance novel"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “Never underestimate the power of love!!” She raises and clenches both of her fists passionately. “...Ahem. Anyway, let me show you to the other rooms.

Cyrus Leafwalker: Please, Lead the way.

Cyrus Leafwalker was finding he really enjoyed her company.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn walks back down the stairs. “This is our...is the word foyer? Uhh. This is the entrance hall!” She nods to herself. “And over here, our reception desk, and rooms for company members. You can get one too, if you want.”

Cyrus Leafwalker I may have to do that. I've been staying at Inns and whatnot according to the needs of my jobs.

Cyrus Leafwalker looked around, taking in the foyer, admiring the decorations.

Cyrus Leafwalker seems lost in thought.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn: “I definitely recommend it. Nothing like decorating your own room, sleeping on your own bed. It’s the responsible thing to do.” She crosses her arms and nods along to her own words.

Cyrus Leafwalker: A place to call home..

Cyrus Leafwalker seemed to look far away for a moment, a light smile curving those thin lips.

Cyrus Leafwalker: Home is a nice thing to have. No?

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn - It’s heartwarming for Wyda, to watch Cyrus. She can’t help but grin widely. “Nice is an understatement, if you ask me.”

Cyrus Leafwalker: I suppose I'm getting to experience a lot of new "Firsts"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn nods happily. “It’s honestly a privilege to be here, to witness all your firsts! Have you...ever had cake?! Ever been to a hotspring? Or... or go stargazing in the Shroud?” Her eyes may as well be full of stars at this point, as she starts a mental list of frivolous but fun things for Cyrus to try.

Cyrus Leafwalker: I admit to having a soft spot for sweets..but no. I've never really been stargazing. Most of the last few months has been recovering from my wounds..repairing my armor and trying to earn enough coin to live.

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn lets out an audible gasp. “You...well, when you’re up for it, I can show you. How to really, and truly, /live/!”

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn corrects herself a beat later. “How I like to, anyway.”

Cyrus Leafwalker smiled brightly. "Let me get settled in, and I'll gladly let you show me your path. It sounds wonderful"

Aiswyda Nuthalwyn nods, beaming all the while. “Great! Well, I gotta head off, but it’s been a pleasure Cyrus. Hope to see you round, you know where to find me.” She motions towards the ground, in the general direction of the bar.

Cyrus Leafwalker He nodded, and gave a small wave. "IT's been an absolute pleasure. I look forward to seeing you again"

Cyrus Leafwalker He nodded, and gave a small wave. "IT's been an absolute pleasure. I look forward to seeing you again"

[dyaz-stories]

The Maid and The Bodyguard — Chapter Fifteen

First — Previous — Also available on fanfiction.net

A new chapter should be up on fanfiction.net soon!

Sitting around doing nothing wasn’t good for Inuyasha’s nerves. Sango seemed to be perfectly calm, but he could tell from the way her eyes darted all around them at the smallest sound that she was on edge, prepared for the worse. Perhaps it should have been reassuring, but all he could think about was what a strong opponent she’d be, in case he had to fight her. Yeah, they were helping them for now, but that didn’t mean there was any trust there. Just that he’d do anything if it meant he’d save Kagome — and the strength of that feeling was honestly scary to him.

“She’s not dressed like a priestess,” Sango commented after an eternity, without bothering to look at him.

“That’s ‘cause she’s not a priestess.”

She rose an eyebrow and this time turned very slightly towards him, not quite facing him but gauging his response.

“Even I can feel the power coming from her, and it’s far from being my specialty. Are you telling me you don’t feel anything? What about the kitsune?”

Inuyasha glanced back at Shippo who was silent, waiting by Kagome’s side, then briefly at Kagome. He realized he was feeling very self-conscious, now that they were around humans. He didn’t want to hear mocking insinuations, didn’t think he could stand having them say the same things the guards said about him and the princess. Talk about how pathetic he was for hoping for something, ask how he could even imagine someone as filthy as him would even be looked at by someone like her.

But when he looked at her, all he saw was Kagome. In pain. Suffering. Hurt because he hadn’t managed to protect her. He’d felt spiritual power before, he’d even seen her use it, but there was nothing like that now. She was just… Kagome.

He swallowed.

“She said she didn’t feel in danger when she was around me,” he said, voice rough, hoping he wasn’t letting her see too much and bracing himself for a mocking reply.

“That might just be it then,” she said instead, tone flat. “Spiritual power works in mysterious ways. If she doesn’t want to hurt you, she might just be able not to. It’s instinctive, from what I know. Same for the kid, I guess.”

He nodded silently, throat suddenly tight. It was just like Kagome, wasn’t it? Protecting and helping him without even knowing it. Sango watched his expression with interest. She despised the Queen’s watchdogs and she had yet to determine whether or not he was one of them, but there seemed to be more to this story than what met the eye.

Miroku removed his hands from Kagome’s head with a tired sigh, and Inuyasha jumped to his feet, but the monk only laid her down carefully.

“Why did you stop?” the half-demon growled, stepping in front of him threateningly.

“This is as much as I can do, I’m afraid,” Miroku replied, trying to appease Sango, who clearly didn’t appreciate Inuyasha’s attitude, with a smile. “The rest is up to her. We just need to have faith.”

“If she dies…”

“If she dies, nothing,” Sango snapped. “We’re doing our best here.“

Maybe it was unfair from her, as the glance Miroku gave her indicated, but she didn’t ponder on it, nor did she feel guilty for it. Death was a possibility, every step of the way. It was there. Always. The sooner people accepted it, the better.

Inuyasha pursed his lips in anger, and Miroku set a calming hand on her shoulder. He’d noticed, as he always seemed to notice, the way her grip on the Hiraikotsu had tightened.

“We should go and gather what we need to make a bow and arrow,” he said with a soothing voice. “It would be better if she had something to channel her power into.” He nodded politely at Inuyasha. “We’ll leave her with you.”

Inuyasha growled as an answer. He wasn’t sure he liked the implications of the man’s words. What, did he mean they were entrusting her to him? Who the hell did they think they were? He turned around to kneel by her side, rudely presenting his back to them. He pointedly ignored the way Sango rolled her eyes and how Miroku pulled her away. Shippo hesitated for a couple of seconds before stepping back. He didn’t want to abandon Kagome, but even he could sense that Inuyasha needed a minute here.

When the clearing quieted, slowly, carefully, he reached out to run his clawed fingers through her hair. He’d thought about that for— a long time now. Touching her, knowing she wouldn’t be horrified, and last night had made him think she… wouldn’t be. He took off his haori, draping her in it as carefully as he could. Wouldn’t want her to get cold. Well that was, if—

He sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes. He couldn’t think about it. Refused to imagine it. He couldn’t— couldn’t lose her. He’d never had someone like her in his life before. The closest would have been Kikyo, but Kagome was nothing like Kikyo. He didn’t think there could be any replacing her, ever. She’d turned into the brightest light in his life and he couldn’t see it go out.

“Kagome,” he called out, voice raspy. He hadn’t cried in years, hadn’t even cried when his mother had died. But now? He was coming close to his breaking point. “You have to fight. Please. I can’t—” What couldn’t he do? He didn’t expect her to stay by his side after this. Hell, he didn’t expect her to want to stay by his side. This wasn’t what this was about. He just needed to know she was alive. “I can’t do this if you’re not here.” If you’re not around anymore. If there isn’t at least one person in this world who I can think about and know she makes a difference. Know she’s better.

Know she smiles. Know she’s happy. Know she’s bringing joy to those around her, because of fucking course she does. Know she’s pushing through, day after day. Know she’s still fighting.

“You can’t give up on that, Kagome.” His eyes were burning. “There’s so much for ya out there. You can’t go. You’re stronger than this.” And now the lump in his throat was so big he could barely talk anymore.

You can’t go because I love you.

But even now, even when she couldn’t hear him, he couldn’t say it, because what kind of fucked up reason would that be? It didn’t change anything. Not for her, not for him. She shouldn’t want anything to do with him, and his life was sworn to someone else, even if he’d been doing a pretty terrible job at keeping that promise recently.

It didn’t matter that he loved her, and maybe that was the worst part of it all. Admitting it to himself didn’t change anything to who he was, to what he was, and to what they had together.

“It’ll kill the kid if you go,” he said instead. “And what ‘bout your mother and brother? It’ll break their heart. You need to keep fighting, Kagome. Please.”

But she didn’t move.

He stayed next to her for hours. Miroku and Sango returned, exchanging a meaningful look when they realized Kagome hadn’t woken up, but he pretended he didn’t see it. Who the fuck were they to condemn her? They didn’t know her. If anyone could do it, she would be the one who made it through.

They started working in silence, building the bow and the arrows. Miroku seemed to have a bunch of arrowheads on him, which Inuyasha deemed a bit strange, but then maybe it was a monk thing.

Kagome didn’t wake up through the whole thing, nor when Shippo finally walked closer, curling himself up on her chest, both to bring her some heat and to try to pretend that she was here, that she was okay, that she wasn’t in that horrible space between life and death and he couldn’t do anything about it, just like he hadn’t been able to do anything about his father and his mother before him.

Once they were done, Miroku set the arrows next to Kagome, watching her intently. Inuyasha didn’t miss the change in his attitude and straightened himself. The world stopped for a couple of minutes, until the monk sighed, defeated, and turned around to sit by Sango’s side.

And that’s just when it happened.

It wasn’t an impressive movement in any way, but she reached a trembling hand out, and closed it around the bow. Inuyasha immediately jumped to his feet, prepared to help her in any way she might need. Her face had been perfectly still for hours and it was now distorted with either pain or discomfort, which chilled him to his bones but still meant she was there. Alive.

Fighting.

Miroku and Sango might have missed it, if it wasn’t for Inuyasha’s reaction. They both stood still, watching as Kagome battled until, finally, she managed to open her eyes.

She tried to prop herself up, and Inuyasha moved to help her without a word, the gesture completely natural to him. He didn’t even question it, despite the eyes watching them, didn’t think about the way his hands lingered on her waist and shoulders, comforting her without even knowing it. He was displaying an intimacy that would have been inappropriate in the human world, and he didn’t even notice it. It just felt… right.

“Inuyasha,” she whimpered, hands tightening on his arms.

“’m here,” he mumbled, voice low, not letting go of her as long as she needed him by her side. “You feeling okay?”

She nodded, very slowly. She felt better. She had managed to silence the voice in her head, though it wasn’t completely gone yet, but there was more. The world… was different. Felt different. Full of life, and of something she couldn’t quite identify, of— power, maybe. She could feel her own strength flowing around her, towards the bow and arrows, could feel at least two other connections to things around her, one going deep inside the forest, but the other much closer.

Her eyes landed on the black-haired monk and the tall demon slayer.

“You helped me,” she commented, frowning. Her voice was thick and the words were coming out with difficulty, but she didn’t feel weak anymore. Quite the contrary, in fact.

“Indeed,” Miroku replied with a bright smile. “But it is always my pleasure to help someone quite a beautiful as—”

There was a loud smack, and Sango didn’t even bother commenting. He could flirt with anyone, for all she cared, but girls who had just been brought back from the verge of death or had half-demons protectors who were clearly smitten with them should have been an obvious no-no.

And she wasn’t jealous at all.

She took a step towards the girl and studied her, even as Inuyasha growled and shielded her with his body. She didn’t blame him exactly, there had been tension between them since the beginning after all. The girl — Kagome — had bright eyes, and her power was even more obvious than before. None of that really mattered though. Instead, Sango looked at the way she touched Inuyasha. There was no disgust, no hatred. If anything, there was deep care there. Trust, even.

Huh. So maybe there was still some hope for the Kingdom.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked. She knew her voice sounded harsh, and for the first time in a long while, she wished she’d been able to use a kinder one. The girl didn’t wince though, and she couldn’t help but smile when she thought that she’d probably gotten used to it, if her half-demon companion was anything to go by.

“I am,” Kagome replied, managing to smile. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do much,” Sango replied honestly, kneeling in front of her as Inuyasha reluctantly moved out of the way to let them talk, “and I’m afraid you’re not quite safe yet, but…” She glanced at Miroku, who was dramatically massaging the back of his head. “You said she was the only one who could free herself.”

Realizing he wouldn’t be getting any sympathy from her, he dropped his hand and sighed. “Well, yes and no. She needs to follow the connection to her attacker herself, but then I suppose anyone could kill them.”

Inuyasha growled, cracking his knuckles. “Then let’s do this. Kagome, you feeling anything?”

Sango smirked at his words. They may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but she certainly liked the way his mind worked.

“He’s right, isn’t he?” she asked, glancing at Miroku. “The sooner the better. The longer the connection’s there, the more energy it’ll drain.”

The monk hesitated, looking unsure for the first time. “Well, yes, but…”

“What is it?” Inuyasha asked, tensing up.

“I’m by no means a specialist when it comes to those connections,” he replied slowly, “however I do fear it could be used to control her.”

A chill went through Kagome. The voice had said something like that, hadn’t she? “It’s a miracle you haven’t burned the half-breed yet, but don’t worry. That time will come soon.”

“So what?” Inuyasha practically barked. “’s not like we have a choice if we want to save her, do we?”

“No,” Miroku admitted, still looking uncomfortable. “No, I guess not. But there are risks—”

“Fuck risks,” Inuyasha spat. “Kagome, can you feel anything?”

Her eyes darted towards the forest, and she shivered, with Inuyasha immediately tightening the haori around her in response, arms around her. The warmth of his body seeped through the cloth and spread inside her. She took a deep, calming breath, letting herself relax a little in what was almost an embrace. Yes, she could. There was something there. It didn’t feel like demonic energy, or rather not exactly. It was nothing like Shippo or Inuyasha, and it felt— it felt disgusting. Gross. Wrong.

“Yes,” she said, swallowing with some difficulty. “Yes, but…”

She didn’t want to die, obviously, however she also didn’t want to hurt him, or even risk hurting him.

“Then let’s go,” he said, interrupting her. He refused to waste any more time. They’d get rid of whoever was behind that, save Kagome, and then he’d worry about the rest. “You can’t feel it, monk?” he asked, calling out to Miroku.

The man shook his head. “I’m afraid not. If we don’t take Lady Kagome with us, I doubt…”

Inuyasha ignored the rest of his sentence. “’m sorry, Kagome, but we really need to go. Feeling up for it?”

She smiled, weakly but with determination. She had concerns, of course, but right now, Inuyasha felt unstoppable, and she wanted to believe in him. She was choosing to believe in him.

“Let’s do this.”

Kagome was fighting hard to remain conscious. Inuyasha was leaning forwards as he ran through the forest, doing his best so she wouldn’t have to hold on to him too tightly. She’d wrapped her arms around him but they were loose, as she couldn’t put any strength in the gesture. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears, but unlike previous times during their travel, it mostly had to do with fear. She also had to focus on the connection, on guiding him, and still, fight against the things in her head.

Miroku and the woman whose name she hadn’t caught were following close by. The demon slayer had brought a whistle to her lips and a big, white catlike demon had come out of nowhere with fire under its paws, and they’d jumped on its back. The woman had attached a mask over her mouth, and Kagome had watched with interest. She’d noticed her eyes wrinkling, and she’d guessed she was smiling to her.

They seemed nice. She barely knew them, but so far they were probably the people who had been the nicest to them — or, well, to Inuyasha — since the beginning of their travel. Who’d have thought that it would be here, in the middle of the demon lands, that they would finally encounter some humanity?

“Inuyasha?” she called softly.

“Hm?”

“What that monk said, about her being able to control my body…”

“Yeah?”

“She said she’d use it to hurt you.”

“Yeah.” His voice was calm, probably calmer than she’d ever heard it. “I figured. When we stopped earlier today… You said you didn’t want to hurt me.”

Her arms tightened around him just a little, which was as much as she could do in her current state.

“I don’t.”

He knew that, and right now, that was the only thing that mattered to him. He wasn’t feeling completely at ease, if he was honest. Despite what Sango had said earlier about her power, he could sense the bow and arrows. The energy was different there, not fully hers anymore. He could only guess it was the point, but something told him that that could hurt him. It wasn’t all that important to him though. He wanted her to live. No matter what. Knowing that if anything happened there was no way she would have wanted it to happen was enough for him.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

She sighed heavily. He didn’t know what the world… felt like since she’d woken up. Not too long ago, she had no control whatsoever on her powers. She didn’t really know how to use them still, but she could tell that she’d be able to. And that terrified her.

“Hey, you’re not blaming yourself, are ya? None of that shit’s your fault.”

No. But what happened next might very well be. Still, his attempt brought a sincere smile to her lips.

“Thanks, Inuyasha.”

Sango watched the pair with attention, noticing the kitsune’s tail but well-aware that those two were in their own little world at the moment.

“Her arrows…” she started.

“Dangerous,” Miroku replied immediately, naturally completing her thought, something they’d achieved after years of working together in situations similar to this one. “You don’t— They’re basically drenched in her power. Normally it would take much longer, but she’s practically overflowing with it. She… might have a problem when they go back.”

She let out a joyless chuckle. “Look at them. They’ll have a problem. As long as they stay in Queen Kaede’s kingdom, they’re basically doomed.”

“We could…” He didn’t finish his sentence. Sango was the harsh leader, and he was the hopeless romantic — in love, by the way, with said harsh leader who would never have eyes for him.

But that was not how she felt this time. Sure, her opinion didn’t have much to do with romance, however the village built by her ancestors had been made with exactly that type of situations in mind. So that people who couldn’t be happy elsewhere would have a refuge. Still, she couldn’t let just anyone in, nor give them the location of the village if she didn’t trust them fully.

“I’ll think about it,” she mumbled thoughtfully.

For now though, they should be focusing on one thing and one thing only, and that was the fight ahead of them.

They slowed down abruptly when the trees disappeared. Inuyasha and Sango exchanged a silent look, instinctively recognizing one another as the leaders for the battle to come. They lingered in the forest for a few moments, hesitant to step into the grass.

“She’s here,” Kagome said with conviction. “Up there.”

Sango gritted her teeth. They were facing a hill, on top of which they could vaguely see the shape of a house. This wasn’t good. Whoever was in there would absolutely see them coming. They could probably feel Kagome anyway, but she still would have liked to keep some element of surprise. On top of that, houses were rare in this land. And if you managed to preserve yours, it had to mean you were pretty strong.

Great. This was just great.

“I see,” Miroku mumbled.

All eyes immediately darted to him.

“What is it, monk?” Inuyasha asked tensely.

“It’s Miroku,” Miroku replied with a glare, eliciting a smile from Kagome who could definitely see herself in that struggle. “Lady Kagome, I guess you can feel it too. The person up there… is a dark priestess.”

Kagome nodded slowly. It made sense. She wouldn’t have been able to put such a name on it, but now that he’d said the words, it felt completely obvious.

“Meaning?” Inuyasha snapped.

“Meaning a priestess who’s given her soul to a demon in order to gain more powers,” Sango answered with the same tone, certainly not appreciating his attitude.

She missed Miroku’s smile at seeing her getting defensive for him. Kagome, even in her state, did not.

“So?” Inuyasha insisted. “We still have a chance?”

Sango couldn’t help but grin. He was infuriating, but once more, she definitely liked the way he thought.

“We do,” she said seriously. “I’ve handled dark priestesses before. They’re trickier than your average demon, but the good news is they don’t really have spiritual powers anymore, so it’s not like it’s anything more for you to worry about.”

“Keh. Just gotta worry about destroying demons then? Piece of cake.”

In theory, yeah. But in reality… Sango’s eyes flew towards Kagome. She was doing her best, but the potential control of the priestess on her was a worry. They didn’t know how strong she was, and realistically, without any training, she doubted she’d be able to do much. The blame wasn’t on her obviously, but no matter what Miroku said about her strength, there was no way she’d be able to shoot an arrow efficiently at this point, which meant they couldn’t count on her all that much, and yet she could still be a distraction from the fight.

She wasn’t sure she liked those odds.

“Miroku, would you mind staying back with Kagome behind a barrier?” She sighed when Inuyasha started growling. “Oh please, is this necessary? She needs protection, and we can’t be doing both. A barrier is probably the best solution.” To protect her… and to protect us from her. “Are we good with that?”

She would have added something about how they couldn’t afford to get distracted, but the truth was she didn’t even fully trust herself with that. She knew for sure that Miroku could handle himself, she’d seen him in action. Wouldn’t stop her from worrying, though.

“You okay with that, Kagome?” Inuyasha asked, glancing over his shoulder.

She gave him a tired smile. She was holding on, but she didn’t know how long she could stay conscious — and she didn’t know what would happen if she lost consciousness again. Staying behind did feel like a good idea.

“Sounds good to me,” she said softly.

Inuyasha turned back towards Miroku and narrowed his eyes at him. The guy had helped them, sure, but to say that Inuyasha wasn’t trusting by nature would have been an understatement. He certainly didn’t want to entrust him with Kagome, but it didn’t look like he had a choice.

“If anything happens to her…” Sango clicked her tongue, but he ignored her. “If anything happens to her because of you, I will kill you.”

“Ah, but I would never let harm happen to such a beau-”

Sango’s elbow suddenly colliding with his gut interrupted him once more. “Don’t worry about it. Miroku’s capable.”

Inuyasha’s frown told her he wasn’t convinced by that, but it wasn’t like they had much of a choice.

“I’ll be fine, Inuyasha,” Kagome’s voice whispered, and he closed his eyes. He wanted to believe that. He needed to believe that so, so desperately.

“Yeah. I’ll make sure of that.”

They didn’t bother trying to hide themselves as they charged towards the hovel. While Sango hadn’t had much hope for the possibility of surprising whoever lived there, she still cursed silently to herself when she saw the silhouette standing before them. Okay, the sun had set down merely moments ago, but was it too much to ask for demons to sleep sometimes?

The woman had long, white hair and bright red lips curved into a mocking smile. She’d clearly been expecting them. Her eyes immediately focused on Kagome and Inuyasha, and the half-demon protectively tightened his grip on the young woman.

“He did say a half-demon would probably try to bring the princess back,” she commented, her voice deep and warm, matching her beautiful appearance.

“You work for Naraku,” Inuyasha growled.

His adrenaline was spiking already, his claws itching with the need to fight. He set Kagome down just as Miroku and Sango jumped from the cat-demon. The monk wasted no time to get by their side, helping Kagome to the ground as her legs failed her. Just as Inuyasha stepped away, he rose the barrier, staff firmly planted in the ground.

“Naraku said I should bring him your head,” the woman added matter-of-factly. “He didn’t mention the others, but he’d certainly be happy to get a monk, a priestess and a demon slayer as well. The kitsune will just be a bonus.”

Shippo shrieked and jumped behind Sango. With Kagome behind the barrier, he recognized her as his best chance of survival. Not that he particularly thought she’d be stronger than Inuyasha. Just that she might actually want him to live.

She gently patted his head.

“Kirara, keep an eye on him,” she ordered the cat-demon, who nodded in response.

When she spun around, she threw the Hiraikotsu. She hoped that would surprise her, even if just a little, but if it didn’t it would at least cut the pleasantries short. She had no interest in hearing that stuff. Inuyasha understood her plan immediately and didn’t miss the the opening she’d given him, running in the boomerang’s wake. Even if she managed to avoid it or push it away, he’d follow right behind, and that might just give them the advantage.

The woman smiled.

Without a warning, dozens of demons started coming out of her eye, fodder for the Hiraikotsu, but slowing it down enough that it went back towards Sango before reaching the dark priestess. She caught it with a grunt. Inuyasha was abruptly stopped by a larger, doglike demon, who clearly worked on separating them. The thing was huge, and though it wasn’t particularly fast, it did a pretty good job of pushing him aside. His claws were proving to be useless against it. Not that they didn’t make any damage, but definitely not enough to incapacitate it.

While the two of them were battling, the woman turned her eyes towards the monk and the priestess. A barrier? Cute.

Kagome’s scream cut through the night, and Inuyasha’s blood ran cold. He spun around, forgetting where he was for a second, and was right in time to avoid the arrow coming straight towards him. Behind him, the demon, about to attack the back he now presented to him was obliterated by its power, and the dark priestess hissed in annoyance.

“Inuyasha,” Kagome sobbed as her hand reached for another arrow. “You have to go.”

Sango glanced back, still fighting off the small demons. What on Earth was Miroku waiting for to stop her?

Despite herself, her body froze for a second when she saw him laying on the ground. The moment of inattention earned her a cut, fortunately stopped in part by her armor. Kagome’s arrow must have shattered the barrier, she reasoned, and the shock had probably knocked him out. He was fine. She needed to believe that for now — she’d take care of it after the fight. That was what her entire education had led to: prioritizing. Even if it killed her not to be able to check on him right this moment.

“Inuyasha,” Kagome cried again as her trembling hands nocked another arrow and she took aim with a precision that couldn’t possibly be her doing.

With a feral growl, the half-demon turned towards the dark priestess. She was the one doing that. He just had to take her out, and everything would be over. Next to him, Sango was finishing off the small demons with, he had to admit, a ferocity and a skill he didn’t think he’d ever seen before. Pretty impressive, if you asked him.

The woman paled. Her stupid mistake had costed her the strongest of her demons, which threatened not only her chances to make it through the fight alive, but also her life after that. Naraku would have no use for her if her strength was gone, and you did not want Naraku to lose interest in you.

Her eyes went back towards the young priestess, and she tensed. She’d let her guard down for only a second, and the little bitch had used it to drop the arrow. She’d also fallen back to the ground, and was now watching her with furious eyes. Maybe she’d underestimated her a little, she conceded. She seemed to have a lot of fight left in her — but she was untrained, right? She wouldn’t be able to do anything.

Playing her final card, she threw her hand forward as a snake escaped from her sleeve. The half-demon and the demon slayer turned around to follow it in horror, both unable to catch it before it reached her, and Tsubaki smiled. She needed to disappear right this instant if she wanted to make it out alive, but she couldn’t resist the urge to witness her triumph on this meddlesome group.

Kagome barely looked down at the white snake sliding towards her.

“You bitch,” she growled in a way that would have made Inuyasha proud.

She refused to go down like that. Not here, not now, not by her hand. She’d taunted her for hours, toyed with her, called her weak. Well, it was time to prove her that she wasn’t.

She didn’t think, instinct moving her hand as she used the bow to strike back.

The smile disappeared off Tsubaki’s face, and there was nothing she could do when her own cursed hit her. She’d planned on using it for death, and her own lack of mercy was what cost her her life.

Inuyasha didn’t worry about her any longer, jumping back to Kagome’s side in two large leaps. Sango took the time to make sure the woman was dead before following him, rushing to Miroku.

“I’m fine,” Kagome said, her voice surprisingly assured.

Checking for himself, Inuyasha realized that she was telling the truth. Her limbs weren’t trembling anymore, and though she looked exhausted, she at least didn’t seem ill anymore. He took her hands in his, gently.

“I’m sorry I shot you,” she whispered.

“’s okay. I made it out alright.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Kagome. I said it’s okay. I know ya didn’t mean to. ‘m just…” Without thinking, he brought one of her hands to his lips, just briefly. “’m glad you’re okay.”

She had difficulties breathing now, and it had nothing to do with what had happened just before. The moment was intense, squeezing her heart in her chest in the most delicious way, but most most importantly, it was theirs. And she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

They settled around the campfire while Kagome treated Sango’s injury. Miroku had offered, but she still felt pretty bad about the whole knocking him out thing, even if it wasn’t technically her fault. The Queen’s balm was slowly but surely declining, and she hoped she hadn’t been too presumptuous in its use. Somehow, encountering someone who worked for Naraku only made it more real. They would be facing him soon.

“How far are we from Naraku’s castle?” she asked while bandaging the demon slayer.

“Less than a week,” Sango replied calmly.

She studied the young woman with attention. She had to admit, the stuff she’d pulled facing the dark priestess had impressed her. She didn’t know much about spiritual powers — she was sensitive enough to it, but still couldn’t use it — but she could have sworn that this wasn’t something that you could just do, if it was even taught. In her experience, the ability to follow your instincts was one of the most useful thing for battle, and she wouldn’t have been surprised if that was what had mattered there. Which meant that giving her and the half-demon an invitation to join the village wouldn’t be simply charitable. It could be useful. And that changed everything.

“So what are you, if you’re not a priestess?”

She hoped she didn’t sound too rude. She wasn’t used to interactions with completely new people. Apart from the children and the very rare people who were brought in, her village was mostly sheltered.

“Oh.” Kagome chuckled awkwardly. “A maid, actually. I work at the Queen’s castle, but I was chosen to accompany Inuyasha.”

Sango nodded, but couldn’t help frowning. That made it sound like she was expendable, nothing more than— a currency. She didn’t like it. Not that she was surprised, coming from people who could take children from their homes to turn them into soldiers.

“The two of you seem close,” she commented.

There was a brief look of horror on Kagome’s face before she softened, realizing Sango hadn’t meant anything by it.

“We are,” she replied quietly. “I think. It’s kind of hard to tell with him but… But I’d like to think we are.”

Sango shook her head, amused. Considering the displays of affection she’d just witnessed, she couldn’t imagine how Kagome could not think that. But then, maybe the half-demon found it better to pretend. She could understand that, particularly if they were to go back to the human lands after what would only be, in the end, a nice interlude.

The thought was still dancing in her head after they had eaten, when she watched him sit down next to her, almost touching, clearly watching over her for the night. It was obvious she was like a magnet for him, that he had to refrain himself from touching her every step of the way, and it was unfair. That could have been enough for her to extend a hand towards them.

But he was the princess’s bodyguard. If anything about the village came back to the royalty, he could doom them all, and she couldn’t threaten the people who lived there. So as hard as it was, she needed to keep quiet. For now. And hopefully, he’d prove to her that there were things he held higher than the person who would sit on the throne.

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 10

New Year's Eve

“He knows how to play the acoustic,” explained Alex, still laughing, “but he doesn't know a thing about modified electrics. Broke the damn thing off. He looked so guilty and lost, I actually felt bad for him. Got him an old electric of mine, told him to practice until I get back. He'll get there.”

Miles, who sat a few seats down the bar, was able to hear Alex tell the story and smiled to himself. How he would have loved to have seen it. Alex's father was a very talented musician, he played a bunch of instruments, but it was only in recent years that he had discovered his interest in rocking out on guitars. He'd jammed quite a few times with him and Alex during their last tour. Miles lifted his eyes, carefully sneaking a glance at Alex, only to have him glance back. Miles quickly adverted his eyes, feeling stupid and caught. A ridiculous thought. But it was there nonetheless.

Why did Alex have to show up tonight? Miles began bouncing his leg, a nervous gesture. For the first time in a long while Miles was having somewhat of a good time, surrounded by friends and old acquaintances. They had chatted, caught up, laughed, until, about an hour ago, Alex had walked in. Everyone else was still having a good time. Only his good mood had withered immediately.

Well, to be perfectly honest, he hadn't been in thatgood of a mood to begin with. It was New Year's Eve and here he was, three months after his kind-of break-up with Alex, still trying to figure out where to go from there. For the entire day the thought of not spending the night with Alex had weighed down on him. Then he'd told himself to bloody get a grip and get it together. So he'd tried to get it together, to not think of Alex, and to distract himself. Naturally, Alex had used that moment to reenter Miles' life.

Fucker loved a good entrance.

Miles had been so shocked by the sight of his old friend that he had only been able to mumble a weird, incoherent welcome which had included the words 'hi', 'um', and 'hello'. Not his brightest moment! Then Alex had given him the tiniest, most timid smile and a carefully spoken 'hello'. It was the first time he'd ever heard anyone say anything in a careful manner, but truly, there was no other way to describe it.

Overwhelmed and unsure how to react, Miles had wordlessly walked away, taken a seat at the bar and not moved from there since. Ten minutes later, Alex had taken a seat as well. Two chairs down to the right. And when Miles began to believe that the night couldn't possible get anymore awkward, Al's girlfriend had walked in and straight up planted herself on Al's lap.

'That's my spot,' Miles' increasingly drunk and startlingly jealous mind had chimed in and almost as if Alex had heard it, he'd had given her a nudge and let her know to find a chair instead. Miles' mind had responded a snarky 'thank you!' Ever since then he and his mind were pondering his next moves. Should he remain at the bar? Should he head out to the balcony? Or, better yet, just go home? Maybe he should just call it a night and—

“Hey, Miles.”

He and his mind should have paid more attention, apparently! Neither one had noticed Alex taking a seat next to him. Miles took a large swig from his drink and swallowed hard. “Alex.”

“Are you enjoying your night?”

As Miles pondered his response, he allowed his sight to linger on Alex. He looked vulnerable and afraid, almost scared. It was hard to see his friend like that. His former friend. He didn't want things to be awkward between them. Maybe they didn't know how to be the friends they used to be at the moment, but did that necessarily imply that they couldn't act 'normal' around each other? They didn't need to hug or whisper or talk about their shared history, but couldn't they have a neutral conversation? Apparently not, Miles realized, as he attempted to answer Alex's very simple question. “I was. I am, I mean. I believe. What I'm trying to say is...oh bloody hell!” Miles grabbed the drink in front of him, finished it off and turned to Alex. “Fuck this! Care for a smoke?”

Alex looked as though Miles had made him the world's greatest gift. “God, yes!”

Both made their way out to the balcony. It was almost empty. A few people were hovering near the wall, but it was an icy cold winter night and people weren't dressed for the weather. Miles didn't care. The cold soothed him, helped him get keep his head clear. And he knew Alex felt the same.

“It's weird,” said Miles, trying to explain his set of mind. “Seeing you here, after all this time. For a moment I wished you hadn't shown up. At the same time, though, I'm glad that you did. I just don't know how to talk to you.”

“Me neither,” admitted Alex, shyly. “I hadn't planned on coming here. I was sitting in my apartment the whole day, deciding for and against coming here. But we always spend this night together. And I thought, if I don't show up, what if that's another nail in the coffin of our friendship?”

“Does it have a coffin yet?” Miles snuck a worried glance at Alex.

“You tell me.” He lit the cigarette for which they had come for. As did Miles. “I still don't have the words you deserve to hear. I've written countless letters to you. They're sitting in shelves all over the world. I was in LA and remembered our time making our album. And I tried writing to you about that. In France I recalled our night at the lake. How simple it was for us to shrug off what had happened that night. How we didn't move on from that, because we never needed to move on. We were just okay with it all. In London I went to visit the club where we first met. Remember the one? There's a picture of us which the owners hung up near the bathrooms. I had never noticed before. A few days ago I was in Sheffield and wrote to you about how much I miss you.”

Miles wished he'd gotten the letters, wished that he knew every single word Alex had written down. “Why haven't you sent any of 'em, Al?”

“I let my heart write those letters, Mi. They're too honest. At times, they're even too honest for myself.”

Miles wanted to tell him that there could never be too much truth between. But that was a lie. He remembered his own omissions of honesty. And he knew there were things he was keeping from Alex. Feelings. Desires. Fears. Truths. If Miles allowed his heart to take the reigns, he'd be having his way with Alex right here, right now, consequences be damned. If he allowed his mind to lead, he'd never touch Alex again out of fear for even the smallest repercussions. “What if we never find the right words, Al? What if we don't find a way out of this hole that we've dug?”

“We will, Miles.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Cause I bloody fucking miss you.”

Miles closed his eyes, took a deep breath and clutched the wrought iron rail of the balcony they were standing on. It took all that he had inside of him not to grab Alex and haul him in for a tight hug and God knows what else. How was it possible to long so deeply, so overwhelmingly, for another person? How was it possible to need somebody so desperately? Not just in a physical manner, but also emotionally?

“It's almost midnight,” Alex pointed out.

Miles kept his eyes close, but nodded into the night. Their time was up. “We should go back inside.”

“Yes.” He let go of the rail, met Alex's eyes briefly, then followed him back towards the bar. Alex returned to his chair next to Louise, and Miles took his old seat two chairs away from him. Other people began to gather around the bar. Not long and the countdown began. Seconds ticked down. Fireworks could be heard through the open windows. Miles saw Louise giving Alex a kiss and quickly looked away.

'Happy New Year,” his bored and lonely mind chimed in. “And if he were mine, better fucking believe he would be grasping for air right now.”

Valentine's Day

“Dear Friend, I know this day is meant for lovers, but I consider us lovers of a different kind. We share a mind. May these flowers find you well. Love, Alexa.”

Miles chuckled as he read the card. Hers, as always, was much classier than the one he'd sent her. His was the humorous kind. Instead of flowers, he'd gotten her a selection of sweets, which he knew she loved.

“A girlfriend?” Pauline, his mother, smiled cheekily as she made her way towards her dining room table upon which Miles had placed the flowers. “Do I know her?”

“A friend. And yes, you do. It's Alexa.”

“Oh, how disappointing. Well, not that, but here I had hoped you would found yourself a date for tonight.”

“Mother,” said Miles, giving her a tone of complete annoyance and utter disapproval, a tone he had perfected when he'd been a teenager. A tone that expressed his displeasure at the idea of his mother being noisy, a tone that professed gratitude for her general interest in his life but at the same time conveyed a warning not to show too much interest for she may not like what she'd find. A tone that said, 'mother, I love you dearly, but please, bugger off.'

Pauline understood it perfectly. “Here's your mail, sweetheart.”

Miles quickly flipped through the letters that had arrived for him since the last time he'd been here. Even though his official address had him residing in London, some wayward correspondence still made its way to his hometown. But between the occasional fan letter, some ads and a bunch of invitations, the stack of mail held not what Miles was hoping for ever since Alex had told him about his letter-writing habit.

He sat down, pushed the mail away, and returned to the emails he was catching up on.

“Oh, for heaven's sake. That's it,” said his mother, took the iPad away from him and sat down. “I've had it with you, son. Tell me what's going on or I will call Alex and make him tell me! You know I will!”

Miles's eyes went wide. “Say what now?”

“The Miles that I remember wasn't so gloomy and sad all the time. I admit I don't see you as often as I used to, anymore. Touring and all that – don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy for you and very proud! But you used to come here, happy and carefree. Now you spend your free time staring out the window as though you're waiting for Christ's return!”

He scoffed. “That's not what I'm doing, mom.”

“I know that. But it sure looks like it. And I'm telling you, that's enough. I mean it. Tell me what's causing you sorrow!”

He gave her a reluctant look, but, maybe she was right. Maybe it was time he spilled his heart to somebody? Maybe it was time for a different perspective? And his mother would offer a solution, of that he had no doubt. It was the part before that, the admitting-to-what-he-had-done, which was troubling him. “What if you don't like what I'm about to tell you?”

“Miles, you quit school and told me you wanted to become a rockstar when you were a teenager. I honestly don't believe it can be worse than that!”

He couldn't help but smile. “Love you, mom. But this one's a bit of a different problem.”

“Miles,” she warned.

And he understood perfectly. “Alright.” For a moment he considered his words. He sat up a bit straighter, attempted to appear not quite as lost as he felt, and began. “There's this person.” For now he went with vague descriptions. He wasn't yet sure just how much he was willing to share. “This person and I...we've known each other for a long while now an—”

“So this is about Alex,” concluded Pauline.

“No,” said Miles. “I didn't say that!”

“That boy used to come here as often as you did. Now it's been over a year since he last placed his muddy boots on my perfectly clean carpet. And even when he was here, the last few times, things weren't as they used to. The both of you used to be glued to the hip together. I swear, last time I saw you two, you religiously avoided touching each other! Start again, dear. And don't be shy with the details! Come now, what happened? Did you fall for the same girl?”

Involuntary laughter escaped him. “Oh, if only.” Seeing the wish to help on his mother's face made him falter and relent. “We had sex,” Miles blurted out.

“You and the girl?”

“No, mom. Me and Alex.”

“And?”

Had she understood what he had just admitted to? “Me and Alex, mom. There's no girl involved. Alex Turner and I, we had sex. With each other.”

“I got that part,” she dryly let him know. “I'm not stupid. I know what sex is. Was is bad? Is that what happened? I presume he was the first man you spent a night with? I've never seen you show any sort of romantic interest for any other man. So if this was the first time, maybe the two of you didn't do it right?”

He wanted to say something, but for the life of all that was holy to him, he couldn't form a single sentence. He had just told his mother that her supposedly straight son had slept with his male best friend. Instead of asking what he assumed was the world's most obvious question, she was worried that they had struggled with the mere mechanics of it? “That's...we...uh—”

“Words, dear. Use them. I can't yet read your mind.”

Miles shook his head in disbelief. “It wasn't bad, mom. That's not the issue. It was quite the opposite, to be perfectly honest. If anything, that's the issue! No, it's...the issue is that I've...” The words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to tell her, but that meant saying them out loud. Which, in return, made all of it that much more real and tragic. And once they were out in the open, he could never unsay them. They became a fact. Undeniable. But when she reached for his hand, he closed his eyes. And gave up. “I'm in love with him. Imagine that, mom. I've fallen hopelessly in love with my best friend. Now what?”

“Now you let me hug you,” said Pauline, got up, pulled Miles out if his chair and squeezed him tightly against her.

He loved her more than ever in this moment. She was his rock, his unshakable foundation.

She pecked his forehead, smiled warmly at him and sat back down. “Now tell me about that night and why the two of you are no longer speaking.”

“Because he's not in love with me,” said Miles and shrugged, helpless and out of answers. “Not even a little bit.” And it sucked, be to honest. “But that's okay. I can handle that. I'm trying to figure out how to handle it,” he admitted. “Alex – you know him, mom. He's bad when you confront him about his feelings. What we did, it freaked him out. He couldn't even stay around to look at me afterwards. And now he won't talk to me. All he says is that he's struggling to find the right words. But that's not even what I want. I need him to tell me that he regrets it. I need to hear it from him. To move on. And I need him to tell me that he can still be my friend.”

“Are you sure he regrets is, sweetheart? Because I always had the feeling that—”

“He walked out, in the middle of the night. Grabbed his stuff and just left. Not even a note. It happened last September. We have spoken exactly twice since that night. Trust me, I know he regrets it. He just doesn't want to tell me. But we're stuck. We need to talk about it.”

“Miles, I know it sucks to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back in the same way. But you can't wait for him to invite you back into his life. Alex is a very complicated man and you know that. If he feels as you say he does, he'll never find the right words to break your heart, because those don't exist. Only he doesn't know that and so he'll spend the rest of his days searching for them. It's a never ending spiral. Ha! Funny,” she suddenly said, smiling. “I just quoted one of your songs!”

He rolled his eyes. “Well done, mother.”

“Oh, stop it. What I mean to tell you is this: If you want Alex back in your life, and you can be okay with having him back in your life as just as friend, then you need to let him know that you're fine and that you can handle that. You need to let him know that his words won't make you leave him for good.”

He thought about it. As always, his mother had valid points. Back in that dimly lit hallway in Paris, Alex had told him that he'd never wanted to hurt him. It wouldn't surprise Miles if Alex was trying to figure out a way to break his heart without breaking it, which was impossible but 'impossible' was a term that Alex considered stupid. “So I should go to him?”

“That's what I would do. Tell him how you feel and tell him that, regardless of it all, you want him in your life as a friend. And if he doesn't want that, you need to know that as well. Whatever his reply may be, I know you can handle it.”

“I'll consider it. Thanks, mom.” He reached for his iPad, got back to the emails, but his mind lingered on her advice. If he did go to Alex, what would he tell him? Should he tell him everything? Or just tell him that it was time for them to move on? Would they have to discuss what had happened or merely agree never to mention it again?

“Out of curiosity,” wondered Pauline, “is Alex a good kisser?”

“Mother!” He wondered if all mothers were this nosy or if it was a unique trait of hers. He groaned when he noticed her eyes drilling a hole into his scull, as if trying to read his mind. “Oh if you must know, yes! He's a bloody amazing kisser! Can we please change the subject?”

“Fine,” she agreed. “So, does all of this mean that you're gay now?”

He grabbed the iPad and walked away. “Unbelievable!”

Here’s a little spoiler for the next part. ;)

“Don't!” Warned Alex sternly, even pointing a finger at him. His voice turned angry. “That's not— We're not at a point in our relationship where we do that!”

“Do what?”

“Fucking flirt!”

[komorebirei]

The Water Was Never Afraid - Chapter 13: Dare

(AO3)

“I have a confession,” Adrien blurted out.

Kagami lifted her head from his shoulder. They were sitting on her bed, and she had been watching him pet her calico cat, Goro. Befitting to his name, he was sitting on Adrien’s lap, rumbling up a storm.

“What?”

“I got fitted for a photoshoot today,” he stated casually.

“Oh? So you’re starting modeling again?”

“Yeah, unfortunately.”

The air was filled with only the sound of purring for a good chunk of time while Adrien pondered how much he should say.

“Why is that a confession?” Kagami asked.

“I haven’t gotten to the confession part yet,” Adrien hedged.

Kagami stared at his profile, and he focused on stroking the smooth fur on the sides of Goro’s face, scratching him under the chin.

Now that he had alluded to it, he had no choice but to say something.

“It’s for Marinette’s feature in the Style Queen.”

Kagami gave him a suspicious look. “That’s great for her. But I still don’t get why this is a confession.”

“I, um…” The way Adrien had felt while Marinette was fitting him made him feel guilty. He figured the one-sided knowledge of his moment of vulnerability with her as Chat Noir had just made things weird at that moment, but he feared that wasn’t all it was. Maybe what Chloé had said at the soirée had affected him more than he thought. Whatever the reason, the way he saw Marinette had shifted.

He wanted to admit it to Kagami and come clean. He’d tell her that he had no intention of doing anything and was going to steer clear of Marinette at work, once this photoshoot was over. That was a healthy and mature way of handling this, right? Full disclosure. If he could tell her, it didn’t have to mean anything, right?

But, did he dare? Telling Kagami might put a strain on their relationship. She might break up with him. Their friendship might never be the same again. She might develop a grudge against Marinette. He could think of a dozen possible consequences of telling Kagami, and none of them were good.

Except the glimmer of possibility that she would appreciate his honesty and they would grow stronger because of it.

Her scrutinizing eyes pierced him, and he felt like he could hide nothing from her. Better to tell her and apologize before she could figure out herself that he had some kind of feelings for Marinette and feel betrayed.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the words he wanted to say wouldn’t come out.

“I know you don’t want me spending time with Marinette,” he said, as if that were the confession. “I just wanted you to know what I was doing, so you wouldn’t find out some other way and be hurt. The photoshoot is on Wednesday, and she’ll be directing.”

Coward. You are a coward, Adrien Agreste.

Kagami reached out and stroked back a lock of hair that had fallen out of place on his forehead. “Adrien, I never said I didn’t want you spending time with her. If it’s for work, why would I mind?” She smiled. “Thank you for telling me, though.”

Adrien gave her a crooked smile back while his stomach twisted in knots. He pulled her in with one arm and planted a kiss on her head. “Thanks for understanding, Tiger.”

“Just returning the favor.”

“Hm?”

“You always understood me better than other people.” Kagami settled her head back on Adrien’s upper arm and reached out to bury her fingers in Goro’s side. His purrs reverberated in Adrien’s lap.

Adrien looked at her quizzically.

“My life has always been straightforward—make it to the top, no compromises. Ever since I was young, my mother taught me that if I considered others too much, I would end up yielding and showing weakness, even losing my position. She taught me to develop a tough skin so I wouldn’t feel guilty pushing others down to come out on top.”

Adrien rested his cheek on the top of her head, hearing her out before making any comment.

“When we first met, I lost to you, but you gave me a second chance. You saw how devastating the loss would be for me, and you spared me from disgrace. I never told you how much that meant to me.”

“… Oh.”

“You showed me that having compassion for others doesn’t always make you the weaker person. It changed my perspective… so, even though I tease you for being so nice to people, it’s actually something I admire about you, and it makes me want to change.” She smiled up at him.

Adrien melted at her words. She had never admitted as much to him before. He had honestly thought that she hated that aspect of his personality. He kissed her nose affectionately and ran a thumb along her freckled cheek.

“So,” Kagami continued, “I’ll admit, you’re right. I’m a little jealous of Marinette, and I don’t entirely believe that you never had feelings for her…”

A needle of guilt pricked Adrien’s heart.

“… so naturally, I don’t want you to spend time with her. But, I know you’re friends, and she means something to you. I know you want to help her. So, I’m going to respect that. I trust you.”

“Thanks, Kagami,” Adrien breathed, and Goro protested with a mewl as he stopped petting him to pull her close in a tight embrace.

—

The next day, Adrien had another fitting with Marinette to check the modifications, but this time, he was prepared. He was strictly professional with her and didn’t touch on any unnecessary topics of conversation. The fitting passed quickly and without incident, and Adrien went on with his day.

“Maybe I’m getting worked up about nothing,” Adrien mused, sinking into his desk chair and switching on his computer.

Plagg phased out of Adrien’s shirt to land behind a succulent pot, visible to Adrien but hidden from prying eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean, I’ve been seeing her a lot lately, more than usual. Isn’t it natural to be thinking about her?”

“You’re talking about Bakery Girl again?”

Plagg’s observation made Adrien feel self-conscious. Had he been talking about her a lot recently? “I was just worried…” Adrien trailed off. Plagg would tease, and he wasn’t in the mood.

“Worried about what?”

“Fine. I was worried that I might actually like her that way. But I’m probably just working myself up by worrying about it.” He opened his email and perused the inbox for urgent matters.

Plagg shrugged tiny shoulders. “You surely wouldn’t have to think about it so hard if you felt nothing for her.”

“I don’t feel nothing, Plagg. She’s my friend.” Adrien thought about the time he had dropped in on her while she was putting together her ‘Inspiration Book,’ and how comfortable it was to just chat with her and hang out. “Oh! That reminds me…”

On a whim, he pulled out his phone and opened Marinette’s instagram, @TheRealMDC.

“Oh~ho. You’re stalking her now?”

“No,” Adrien emphasized. “She said she had an account where she posts her designs, so I’m looking for it. Detective work, not stalking.”

Her personal account clearly wasn’t it. There were no drawings—only selfies of Marinette with her friends and some random artsy pictures—a few of her balcony plants during the daytime, outfits, macarons.

He tapped a picture of Marinette wearing an above-the-knee bright yellow circle skirt, paired with a half-sleeved cropped shirt with broad black and white stripes that showed off her trim waist, and tomato red shoes. The colors reminded him a little of Chloé, though the style was quintessentially Marinette. She was posing outdoors in the Jardin des Tuileries, so she must have had a friend take the photo. She would have made a cute model.

“Looks an awful lot like stalking to me,” Plagg said right next to Adrien’s ear, making him jump in surprise.

“I like her outfit!” he insisted. “I work in the fashion industry, I am allowed to appreciate stylish clothing! Plus, it’s not stalking if she challenged me to find her!”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Plagg quoted Hamlet, polishing his whiskers.

Adrien rolled his eyes, pressed ‘back,’ and opened Marinette’s list of followers. He typed in the word ‘design’ to see if anything would come up. The list of results was so long he had to scroll. Duh, of course Marinette would be following a bunch of design accounts.

“What about that daredevil reporter girl?” Plagg suggested.

Right, Alya. Adrien pulled up her account and searched her follower list for the keyword ‘design.” Only one account came up: @DottyDesigner. He snorted at the pun—especially appropriate if this was Marinette, since polka dot patterns featured prominently in her designs.

Adrien tapped to view the profile, to be rewarded with hundreds of illustrations of various outfits. When he clicked on one, a swipe revealed the finished outfit on a dress form. These were interspersed with random sketches not paired with finished pieces.

From what Adrien had seen of Marinette’s illustration style, this was it. His hunch was confirmed when he saw that the account was following @TheRealMDC. “Gotcha,” he muttered triumphantly under his breath. He didn’t think he’d be so lucky as for his first tactic to work.

“Is that Bakery Girl’s work?” Plagg zoomed up close to the screen and tapped one with a cream-colored romper. “I like that one, it reminds me of cheese.”

“Ha! I’ve gotta tell her I found it!” Adrien was still feeling victorious as he perused the designs.

“Does that mean you’re going to visit her again?”

Adrien froze. He hadn’t decided on a course of action as Chat Noir. Steering clear of her seemed to be the obvious answer, if he were being consistent. But Marinette seemed to like and trust Chat—maybe even more than Adrien, though he couldn’t fathom why. The idea of ceasing to visit her just when their friendship was starting to pick up seemed disheartening.

If he was going to start distancing himself as Adrien—which Kagami wanted him to do anyway—then his double life shouldn’t make things so awkward.

Things were different when he was Chat. His actions were more inconsequential.

“I mean… why not? What harm could it do?” Adrien decided, still half lost in thought. He slipped his phone into his pocket and got back to work.

—

Chat Noir tossed a chunk of bark from the tree branch at Marinette’s French doors. It was already dark out, and it felt like too much of an intrusion to invite himself onto her balcony.

Moments later, she opened the door with a little smirk on her face. “Back so soon, Chaton? I hope you’re feeling better today.”

“I am, Princess!” Chat replied in a chipper tone. The branch bounced as he leapt onto her balcony and gave her an exaggerated, princely bow. “How are you this evening?”

“Very well, and you?”

“Great—I found your design Instagram!” He leaned against the railing with his arms crossed, looking as proud as a cat who’d brought home a mouse. “Your drawings look amazing.”

“Oh, really?” Marinette put her hands on her hips. “How much did you have to stalk me to find it?”

Chat Noir made an offended look. “Stalk you, Princess? I’m a gentlecat, I would never do such a thing! It wasn’t hard, actually—I know you’re friends with that Ladyblog girl, so I searched her followers list for the word ‘design,’ and the only handle that came up was following your personal account, so I figured that was you.” He smirked. “Didn’t think it would be that easy, but you’re more predictable than I thought, Princess.”

“Hmm,” Marinette hummed, coming up to Chat Noir and looking him over in a calculating way that made him feel less confident. “So you do have a good head on those shoulders, Minou.”

“Are you patronizing me?”

She snorted. “Never! It’s just… there’s one detail bothering me about your story.”

Chat Noir gulped. “What’s that, Princess?”

“How do you know about my personal account?”

“—Uh!!” Chat Noir blanched. Marinette’s design account had over ten thousand followers, so he would have had to scroll through pages upon pages of usernames to notice the private account that only a leap of faith would lead him to believe belonged to her. Her name didn’t appear anywhere, and the profile picture was an artsy shot of a model wearing one of Marinette’s pieces on the runway—not that Chat Noir would know that. Instagram had only showed him @TheRealMDC followed @DottyDesigner because Adrien was already following her account.  “Umm… I…” he tried to think of a plausible excuse.

“You’re a creepy stalker.” Marinette flicked his bell.

“No, I’m not!” Chat Noir objected. “I happened to find out in a legitimate, non-creepy way!”

“I don’t believe it,” Marinette laughed, “You’re totally a creepy stalker! You shouldn’t be allowed on my balcony anymore!” She pushed his nose with a fingertip, making him lean back over the balcony rail, far enough that it would have been dangerous if he hadn’t been equipped with a super suit as a safety net.

“Hey, Princess, have mercy!” He flailed, twisting away from her finger. Since she had leaned in to push him, when he got free and rebounded onto the balcony, he ended up practically in her arms.

He edged past her and stepped away from the rail, heart pounding and face flushed, temporarily robbed of words. If he wanted to lie to himself, he would say it was due to the adrenaline of almost being pushed off the balcony, but he wasn’t so naïve anymore. This feeling was familiar.

“Sorry, Minou, I went too far.” Marinette bit her lip and, taking his arm, pulled him in the direction of her flat. “I just made banana bread, do you want some? If you prove yourself worthy tonight, maybe I’ll even let you come back another day.” She shot him a playful look over her shoulder.

“Sure, I’d love some, Princess.” He followed her, just as he followed the last girl who made him feel this way.

For the rest of the night, his eyes were drawn to her, taking in the way her eyelids folded behind thick eyelashes when she blinked, the natural pink hue of her cheeks, the creases that appeared beside the corners of her mouth when she smiled and spoke, the way she tucked one leg under her when she sat. He got drunk on the sound of her voice, teasing her just a little more so he could hear her laugh again.

This feeling was familiar, because this was exactly how it had felt to fall for Ladybug in less than twenty-four hours.

Except, instead of a carefree student who could pursue his Lady to his heart’s content, now he was a businessman and highly public figure with a girlfriend, who was only stealing moments with a friend he wasn’t allowed to meet without the mask.

As he drank in her presence, his heart hurt.

Maybe it would be okay for him to just come and see her now and then. This didn’t have to turn into anything.

They could just be friends.

This should be fine, right?

Did he dare to keep coming back?

[mininky]

Tainted Souls (Taehyung)

Summary: Vampires were no longer a myth, the world knew that they were very very real. The world wasn’t ready for it, and they really weren’t ready to find out that all those whacky conspiracy theorists finally got something right. A lot of celebrities were, in fact, undead. Including BTS. Touring constantly, always on the move it was painfully difficult to ensure that they received their meals. Until their manager learned of a business that specialized in vampire fine dining.

Pairing: Vampire!Taehyung x Reader

Warnings: Oral sex (female/male receiving), biting, multiple orgasms, swallowing of bodily fluids, no condoms (don’t do that!)

Word count: 6.3K

Series list: Prologue, Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook

   "What book are you reading?" You look behind you on the plane to see Taehyung standing up at an awkward angle so he can peer over your shoulder.    "Dracula." You move your sights back to the book in front of you, trying not to smile at the laughter ringing out above you.    "Dracula, really? So, does that make you my Mina?"    "If I was your Mina then I would have gathered a group of men who would have become so completely infatuated with my kind, sincere, and oh-so-innocent character that they would murder you for me. Well, technically for her fiance, but let's be honest they all did it for Mina." You try to go back to reading but close the book when you realize your eyes have been dancing over the same page for the last few minutes. You put your bookmark in and look up again to see Tae giving you a boxy grin.    "Yeah, well I suppose in a sense you are Mina. You could definitely have a bunch of dudes do your bidding."    "Is that so?"    "Yup." You watch Tae whip his head back around and can barely hear Namjoon saying something about 'sit down' over the hum of the engine. Tae, however, stays up anyways. It can't be comfortable, he's having to stand at an obscure angle/crouch in order to avoid banging his head on the overhead. "But I appreciate that you aren't trying to kill the vampire and you aren't really Mina. Besides, cute and innocent gets boring really fast, doesn't it (y/n)?"    You watch Jin's hand clasp around Taehyung's collar and jerk him back into the seat before you can even respond. So instead you have to settle on pulling up your KKT (and paying the outrageous WIFI fee) so you can have the last word. "Why kill the vampire when it's so much more fun to fuck them?" You wait a few moments, praying that Tae also paid for in-flight WIFI before you hear him sputter and cough behind you. Checkmate.    You and Tae have been playing a game of cat and mouse from the moment you met. It's hard not to be drawn to him. He's charismatic, handsome, sweet, and he has this air of unflappable confidence that comes close but never fully crosses the line into arrogance. And you...well you've found your new favorite past time but you never thought about the implications it would bring about later in time. You and Tae flirt back and forth with each other constantly, but you've never crossed the line. Come close, dipped a toe over, sure...but you refuse to be the first one to break. Oh no, Tae will be the one to break.    He's not like the normal fuck boy type, you'll give him that. In fact, he's not even really a fuck boy, he just has the tendencies. He's got this really sweet, sensitive, kind side to him. He's also very intuitive, the type of person to know exactly what you need or want before you ever say it. But he's also the type that's unapologetically himself and it's naturally an easy attractant for women. He could have any pick of the litter, and he knows it. He walks like he knows it, talks like he knows it, but he never actually comes out and says it. And the thought of conquering him, of being the one that he begs for. The one that gets the cocky side of him to bow down before your feet. Oh yes, you'll break him. Unlike Tae, who flirts shamelessly possibly just for the fun of it, you do it for more perverse and personal reasons.    You're attracted to him. More than you'd care to admit too. You want him, you want all of him. You're not sure where in the game that started happening, but you know it's far earlier on than you care to admit to yourself. But he doesn't need to know that. Not until he's worshiping you, and then you'll bare your heart and soul. But he needs to break first. You want to wash off that cocky grin from his face, you want to see him vulnerable and bare to you. And as much as you'd like to pretend it was just a game of conquering the man who can conquer all it was now much more than that. So you've been pushing harder than ever, trying to get him to cross the finish line. You think he probably understands what you're doing. And it seems to you that he's drawing it out to see if you'll break first instead. You've had to slow back down in retaliation. Well, that and the fact that you had been so caught up in the thrill of the chase that you've had witnesses. Technically just one witness actually, just on a few occasions.    Unfortunately, poor Jungkook has been caught in the crossfires of your little 'chases' a few times now. So now you have to be a little bit more careful. Poor Jungkook. The last time he walked in on the two of you had been the worst. He'd found Taehyung feeding from your thigh when he came over to see if Taehyung wanted to play a video game of some sort with him. As if it wasn't bad enough of a position with your dress hiked up and your expensive black lace and chiffon underwear on full display it of course just had to happen right when he finally started looking you in your eyes after he accidentally saw the racy photo you'd sent Tae a few weeks prior. It wasn't that bad, but you're pretty sure that he's maybe seen boobs in real life a handful of times and that didn't help anything. He's a shy, innocent thing under all that bravado he puts on stage. Jungkook still refuses to talk around you, he just turns into an awkward statue and runs away which has caused his blood type endless entertainment recently. She's been using you just to chase away Jungkook, and it's only made you tread more lightly in your game with Taehyung.    Your thoughts are brought back to the present when you hear your phone buzz. You glance over at Jungkook's blood type on your right and Jin's blood type on your left to see both of them sound asleep before pulling up the text. It wasn't a dick pic per say. It alluded to it, but the angle cut off right after the thatch of well-groomed pubic hair. Interesting, so he doesn't shave completely. Somehow, you kind of anticipated him to be an all or nothing kind of guy. Not that you're complaining. The real question is how to respond?    You take a moment to ponder your options before a text pops up.

[Tae-Tae] Speechless? [you] No, I'm just debating if you shave and trim or just trim.    What a cocky little shit. You'll break him one day, you swear it. [Tae-Tae] Care to find out? [you] Hmm... [Tae-Tae] I'll show you if you ask me. ;) [you] Nah, I think my own imagination is probably better. [Tae-Tae] :( It's not tho [you] Whatever you say, babe. [Tae-Tae] babe? I get nicknames now? What can I call you? How about baby doll? [you] Gross, veto. [Tae-Tae] Princess? [you]...I can work with that one, but it's not my favorite. [Tae-Tae] My queen? [you] Much better. I accept from you my humble servant.

   You try to stifle your laughter as Taehyung suddenly appears down the aisle. He shoots you another boxy grin and leans over for a moment to whisper in your ear.    "See, I told you. You can get guys to do their bidding. All you have to ask and your wish is my command. My queen." You look at him for a moment before staring back straight ahead.    "I'd rather hear you beg." You watch his pupils dilate for a moment when you spare a short glance back his way, his head cocked to the side before he finally moves back over to his seat when a stewardess starts walking by.

---------------------------------

   A few days later and you're finally back in the comfort of your own home. In a strange way, you aren't actually that happy with it. Being out and exploring and...being with Tae...well it's fun. But meanwhile back at the ranch you just go through tedious monotonous tasks of daily life. Not that it's that bad, it's really nice to be able to catch up on all your favorite shows and finish a book in your favorite spot on the couch. It's just...well it's boring.    You've been going and traveling nonstop for the last couple of months, and sure it could be stressful. Especially trying to get through an airport while not being caught with BTS and the constant reminder of 'no scandals, we hired you to be discrete' from the ever so lovely management. (Honestly, with some of the stunts you've seen the other girls pull you're surprised that there hasn't been a scandal yet. It's not that they aren't discrete, it's more that...well there's zero tolerance for bullshit from some of the other girls when fans get out of hand.) But with all its rules the job is still worth it. You got to explore museums and sites and food all over the world. Your bank account is certainly not a concern any time soon. But more importantly...with Tae. And when you're back at home...well you're just a regular old girl again. When you're with Tae it's like everything is an adventure, his optimistic boyish charm is infectious. When it's back to just you in your apartment though it's like everything is slightly muted.    Your thoughts wander back to Taehyung for a moment. The tour had ended with things getting...slightly awkward between the two of you. You're pretty sure that both of you are getting tired of this little game, but both of you are too stubborn to try for something more. Each conversation with him lately has kept you on edge, both of you seem to be daring the other person to just say it first. You know you're in deep shit, you don't just like him...you love him. And that puts you in an odd spot. This is after all your job. And he is after all famous and under a microscope constantly. And then there's his personality. It's almost like there are two sides to him. The flirty grand charismatic face he shows the world and then the much more serious, sometimes stoic side he'll occasionally give you a glimpse of. But what's real with him? You can't help but wonder if he actually likes you, or if he more just enjoys teasing you. And this dilemma really isn't his fault, it's yours. You started this. You were the one challenging him, instead of just coming forward and being honest. But being honest is scary. Rejection is a serious possibility, and you're not sure if you'll ever be able to recover from it. I mean, sure you will, but...man it won't be easy. And let's say he does reject you, do you have to go back to your old routine at Tainted Souls all over again?    You're in the middle of a deep True Blood binge under the confines of the pillow fort you've made when a knock at the door interrupts your thoughts and has you pausing the show. You have no clue who it could possibly be. Your friends rarely show up unannounced and all of them have day jobs so considering that it's only 1:00 in the afternoon it couldn't possibly be them. And you didn't order any food, you actually forced yourself to cook for once just a little while ago. You peak your head out the pillow fort and squint at the door (not that it's helpful in any way but you're hoping you can somehow will the person away if you do this long enough.) Another round of knocks, louder this time, ring through the apartment before the doorbell is rung no less than five times in under thirty seconds.    You grunt as you crawl out of the fort before marching over to the door. Swinging it open you're ready to give an earful at your intruder before seeing that damn boxy grin.    "Tae?"    "Hiya, my queen. I was just bored and in the area and-"    "How do you know where I live?" Taehyung stops for a moment and you see a mischevious glint in his eye.    "I have my ways. Are you going to invite me in?"    "What is this, some old-timey vamp shit? Yes, please, I invite you in oh undead one." Tae chuckles as he steps in, his shoulders brushing against yours momentarily before he steps aside to take off his shoes. "You aren't off the hook that easy though. How did you find out where I live?"    "It's on your resume, duh." You watch him survey your small apartment before his eyes light. "Is that a pillow fort???" He skips with glee over to the area, a childlike innocence and enthusiasm taking over as he crawls down and shuffles into the area. "What are we watching?"    "We're not watching anything. I was watching..." You stop yourself short. How do you explain to a vampire that you're basically watching a vampire porn show that got a disturbing amount of things about vampires right? I mean, the Dracula thing was already a bit embarrassing enough but hey, it's a classic!    "What, cat got your tongue? Come on, come join me in the fort, my queen!" You glance over to see him patting at the side next to him before finally giving in with a reluctant sigh. You didn't exactly make enough space for two people though, so you're squeezed rather tightly next to his side. "So...were you watching porn?"    "...no..." No that would almost be less embarrassing, unfortunately.    "That...that wasn't the answer I was expecting. Oh...oh my god. You WERE weren't you?" You're struck with horror as he moves to press play. Why god? Why you? Why didn't you destroy all the evidence before opening the door? Why didn't you hide the remote? Why couldn't you have been watching anything else other than-    The sounds of moaning fills the room. Of fucking course, this just had to be the worst possible scene for it to start on. And of course you just haaaad to watch the whole series over from the beginning and this is the part where they find the tape of the girl who died after sleeping with a vampire who chains her up has very rough sex with her and then drains her.    "Holy shit, this is...this is really kinky. It feels like I'm watching some of Hobi-hyung's stash, but worse. Wow. It's always the ones you least expect I guess." His eyes are glued to the screen as it finally cuts back to the police.    "No!!!! No, no no no no no no no!!!" You're smacking Tae repeatedly on his arm, hoping that you're somehow making your illiterate rant get across to him. "No, it's a TV show. It's called True Blood! It's about vampires and okay it's honestly trashy and kind of awful but I mean, they got so much right. A lot of it wrong, but so much right too! Like synthetic blood, and vampires coming out of the coffin! And and and..." You stop at the sound of Taehyung laughing maniacally at your outburst. "Oh fuck off Tae. Even if I was watching porn I'm allowed to do so! Who died and made you my dad? Also, what ARE you even doing here? Don't think I bought that 'I was in the area' bullshit! You're not getting off that easy mister!"    "Mister, really?" Tae sighs before cuddling closer into your side, his face pressing into your shoulder. "I just missed you, if you really must know."    "Oh." What does that admission mean? Does it mean...no he couldn't possibly be throwing in the towel.    "Oh?"    You glance down to see Tae looking up at you through his messy fringe. You hadn't really paid attention when he first came in, but he looks paler, tired. "OH, you're hungry." He rolls his eyes before he cuddles even closer and throws a leg over you. You pray that your heart will stop thundering soon because you know for a fact he can hear it.    "Not really. I still have two more days before I need to eat. I told you, I just missed you. Is that such a crime?"    "You look hungry. Tae, you don't need to lie. If you just came because you need to eat that's fine, I'm sure you've been working harder now that you're back and-"    "I told you that's not why I'm here!" His face snaps up, and you're suddenly reminded by his inhuman speed that he is indeed a creature not to take lightly as he's straddling you. His eyes bore into yours, flickers of annoyance tracing over his features. "Why don't you believe me?"    "What?"    "Why, why do you do all these games? You fuck with me, and you play these games, and god I can't get you out of my fucking head. Your taste, your smell, your laugh fuck it's like they're just running through my mind all god damn day. And then you have the audacity to act surprised? How could I not miss you? Is this all it is to you, just some game? Because I swear to fucking god if it is I'm-"    "It's not just a game. I mean, it kind of started that way but..." You trail off, your eyes refusing to look up at him for longer than a few seconds.    Tae relaxes at your admission, but his gaze never wavers. He's clearly waiting for you to continue, but you're too stubborn. After a minute of the two of you daring the other to speak first, he finally gives a small chuckle before throwing his face into your neck. "God, you just really want to make me say it first, don't you?"    "Yes." Your words come out tiny and small, and you suddenly feel incomprehensibly stupid for just not being honest with him sooner.    "Why?"    "Because you're you. You could get anything, anyone. And...I don't know at first it was just to get someone as great of a catch as you to look at me and I was kind of bored with having just one client. But then...it just morphed into something more. The more time I spent with you the more I wanted you to really like me. Like really really like me, not just want me...you know? But...I guess...I'm also just really afraid of rejection. A game of cat and mouse keeps things easy and light-hearted, feelings don't really have to be involved."    "I fell for you so long ago it's ridiculous. I just figured it was all just fun and games for you so I didn't admit anything. We're both idiots aren't we?"    You find yourself grinning up at his words. "Yeah but...we can be idiots together."    "I like the sound of that, a lot." For a minute silence just fills the room, although it's not uncomfortable. It's more the two of you basking in the realization that there are no more games. Both of you are finally being honest with one another. And then after that warm and fuzzy glow starts to ebb away do you realize the rather compromising position you're in. He's still straddled over your hips, his hair falling down and eye's just barely peeking out, his hands resting on the side of your head and face just a few inches away. You're not sure what to do in this situation. Do you ask him to move? Do you kiss him? Do you touch him? What would be the most proper? Because really all you want is to feel his lips, but you're not sure if that's what he wants.    You're pretty sure he can see each thought playing out based off of the way he cocks his head to the side and lifts an eyebrow. You've never been very good at concealing your inner thoughts. (Note to self, work on your poker face.) So you steel your nerves and finally say in a voice you hope doesn't give away your anxiety, "Tae?" When he hums in response you finally lift your eyes to him. "Tae, can I kiss you?" His smile stirs something in you, a frenzy of joy and something slightly more carnal caused by his fangs shining down at you.    "Of course, my queen." He doesn't however budge. Clearly, he's going to make you work for it, and your stubborn side is starting to roll back in. You weave your hands into his hair (you'd like to note that it's oddly soft for all the chemical damage it's taken and you really should find out what shampoo he uses) to bring his lips down onto yours. The force of the movement causes a rather awkward clash of teeth, but neither of you seems to pay any mind. There's been too much build up, too much tension, to really care about little details like that.    His lips are slightly chapped and he tastes faintly like mint. It's not long before the kiss deepens into something less chaste, tongues roaming and exploring and hunger starts to drive both of you. Your hands untangle from his hair and move to his arms before snaking around his waist to flip him over. There's something so euphoric about seeing him under you, at seeing the shift as his eyes start to shine red and the way his breathing starts to stagger under your touch. And it hits you, really hits you then, that he's yours. Maybe the world gets a lot of him, but right now you get a side of him that they don't. Your lips trail down his neck as your hands slide up his shirt to feel the cool skin underneath. The way his muscles clench under your touch coupled with his soft panting has desire pooling into your underwear.    "You look so pretty like this." You grin as you peel his shirt off before leaving a wet trail of kisses down his torso.    "Pretty, really? Wouldn't handsome be a more apt description?" His hands are wound into your hair, pushing you slightly further down as you get steadily closer to the waistband of his sweats.    "Well, you are plenty handsome. But...I think you look pretty right now. Delectably pretty. Like a perfect meal presented to me." You linger at his pants, hands resting on the button before your attention flickers back to his face. "May I?"    "Please. But I mean, really? If anyone is the meal here it's you."    "The big bad vampire routine is unbecoming of you. Be a good boy though and you might just get a treat." The glare he levels at you has a giggle of elation bubbling up in your throat.    "Really, still with the games?"    "Do you want me to suck your dick or not Tae?" His head whips up as you slide down his pants and boxers, freeing his rapidly hardening cock only a mere few inches from your face. You'd like to note that he does, in fact, shave and groom. Guess the question is finally answered now that you're finally seeing the perfectly shaped triangle of hair in person.    "Fuck, no I do."    "Then just lie back down and be a good boy." He groans as he throws his head back, biting on his lip to stay quiet. You've always wanted to be the one to get under his skin, to make him fall apart, and now that you're finally here it's better than you ever imagined. You take a moment to just enjoy the site of him laying under you, twitching with barely controlled impatience. Your fingers ghost over his dick, lips coming down to pepper small kisses up along his thigh before halting right at his balls. His hips flex and shake the closer you get, precum beading up and falling onto his stomach.    "Jesus, please (Y/N), please just fucking touch me. This is just torture, cruel and unusual punishment. I'll do whatever you want just please, please just touch me."    "Whatever I want?" A cheshire cat grin is on your lips as you look at him. You get that technically you guys already agreed to be together, but hey you've been thinking for a long time about just what you would do when he finally breaks. And right now you're finally about to get what you've always wanted.    "Fuck, yes, just please fucking touch me."    "Hmm, okay, since you begged so nicely." You finally grasp his dick in your hand, tongue snaking along his balls before trailing up and enveloping his velvety head. The tangy precum smears over your lips as you lock eye contact with him, your smile growing wider at the long musical moan that falls out of him. Oh-ho, if Tae is already moaning he might just not be able to handle what you have prepared for him. You give him just a moment to calm down as you keep him resting in your mouth before finally sliding down to the base in one go.    "Oh, holy fuck. Fuck, fuck, oh god. You weren't fucking kidding when you said you were a pro at sucking dick, oh my god." You stay stationed at the base for a moment before working up, setting an easy rhythm for yourself to breath in as you go up and exhale slowly as he reaches past your molars. The dull ache in your jaw is worth it for the sweet sounds he's gracing you with. You can feel your panties clinging onto you, your own need beginning to cause a different dull ache. But that's not important, what's important right now is staying in charge. You aren't about to pass up this opportunity that you've worked so hard to finally get. "(Y/N), if you don't stop I'm going to ah fuck!" Your hands massage his balls gently before his hips buck with force into your throat and his cum is filling your mouth in hot white ropes.    His eyes are locked on yours as you finally pull away from him, giving small licks to clean up anything left behind before opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue.    "All clean, my what a good girl you are." You can't help but preen a bit under the praise. There's something about hearing the words from Tae that make the (honestly almost unbearable) taste worth it. "But it's not fair, I'm almost completely undressed, and you're still in all of your clothes." His words come out whiney as he tries to grab the hem of your shirt, but you're quicker than him. You scooch your way out of the pillow fort, ignoring his whines of protests.    "Come on Tae, you promised that you'd do whatever it is that I ask." You glance behind you to see Taehyung behind you, a deviant smirk plastered to his face as he tugs his pants back up.    "Well, my queen, I'm hoping that your wish is for me to eat you out like a five-course meal."    "No, but nice try. No no, I'd like something far less sexual, sorry to burst your bubble." You wrap your hands around his neck, fingers curling into the soft hair at his nape. "I'd like for you to take me shopping."    "What?"    "Shopping, I want to go shopping with you. More specifically I'd like to go out on a date with you. I think it would be fun to pick out some clothes with you. Oh, but I suppose I should tack on that I'd like to go to the new exhibit at the museum with you too if you have the time this month. It's not a permanent collection so I suppose that might have to take priority if you can manage the time."    "You...you could have me do anything and you choose a date? I thought for sure you'd have me sit there and beg for you or something, or literally kiss your ass, or make me do something really embarrassing. But you...choose a date?" His shoulders are shaking with poorly contained laughter before he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. "Just when I think I've got you all figured out you pull something like this. You're a weird one, you know that?"    "Well at first I thought about making you beg, in fact, that was my original goal. But the plan changed a long time ago. I realized I didn't want to make you beg, I would never want to hear something like that forced out of you. I want to hear that you want me because you want me, not for any other reason. So then I started thinking about what I really wanted, and I realized that even though it's selfish and even though you can't technically go out on dates or be seen in public with me I'd still really like to go out on a date with you. I understand though if it's not really possible." You say the last words quietly as you reflect back on your contract and the firm words from management. Dating and scandals were absolutely not allowed, and while you wanted nothing more to be with Tae you also understood the precarious place dating would put him in.    "Hey, don't worry about it. We can definitely go on a date. I can wear like a fake beard or something."    "What?"    "Ooh, or maybe I'll learn how to do some special effects makeup and turn myself into an old man. With a big beard." Tae is talking animatedly, his hands smoothing down his imaginary beard.    "No fake beard, please."    "Why not, I thought girls like beards."    "Yes well I don't. Especially not fake ones. That's just weird. But I'm sure we'll figure something...less...abstract out." You watch his gaze flicker back down to you, his fingers tracing over your jaw before dipping lower until they finally grip at the soft flesh of your ass.    "Well, I suppose that we can figure it out some other time. I don't have enough time for a date tonight, I still have to be back for practice in a couple of hours. But that does leave me with enough time to continue where we left off. What do you say?" His breath is warm on your neck and the fire that had begun to calm down is roaring back. That familiar ache, the need to finally be one with him begins driving all action again. You try leading him to the bedroom, but his hands pull your hips back flush to him. "Always so impatient. Let me take my time with you."         His tongue trails slowly down your neck, over the prominent vein before he nips down slightly on your collarbone. Each movement is slow, precise, and it already has you wanting more. You're not normally so greedy, you usually enjoy dragging things out more. But Taehyung is masterful at this slow, erotic torture and it's quickly becoming too much for you. Each touch to your skin tingles and burns, his hands lazily roaming and groping has your hips rutting into his. "Tae, don't be a fucking tease."    "Oh please, you've spent enough time torturing me let me have some fun." His eyes lock onto yours before he finally strips your shirt off of you before his mouth latches onto a nipple. His tongue swirls around the bud before he's tugging it in between his teeth with enough force to have you cry out. His mouth twitches into a grin at your moan and suddenly he's off of your breast and picking you up. He doesn't, however, take you down the hall into your bedroom as you initially guessed. No, instead he's leading you into the kitchen and placing you on the counter. He just gives a small chuckle at your cocked eyebrow before explaining. "Listen, this might sound ridiculous to you but I've always wanted to have sex in a kitchen but considering that I live in the dorm or I'm always in hotels I don't exactly get that chance often. Also, I really want to fuck you in a bathtub while we're on the subject. Honestly just about every surface of this apartment, but the kitchen is a good place to start. Don't you think?"    Before you can respond his hands drag your ass to the edge of the counter and his mouth is on your thighs. Each wet kiss, each small nip, closer to your clothed and dripping core has you shaking with want. "Tae, please. Please, come on baby, please." You're not sure if it's the begging, or the use of the pet name, or just his own desires that finally cause him to peel away your panties but you really don't care. You just care that you're finally getting relief.    "God, look at you. You're dripping all over the counter. What a pretty fucking pussy, and it smells so sweet." He licks one long stripe over your folds before clamping down on your throbbing clit. Before you can even react he has two fingers slipping into you, strangled moans bubbling out at the dual sensations. With each loud suck on your clit, his fingers prod deeper inside you, scissoring and stretching in all the right ways. You can feel that familiar coil tighten and lurch at his ministrations. Each time his tongue brushes against you, each time his fingers prod in just the right spot, you can feel yourself start to unravel. You want to tell him how good it feels, how amazing he is, but words get lost in your throaty moans. "You're going to cum already? You gonna cum all over my fingers? Come on (y/n), cum for me." That's all it takes to have you finally fall into your orgasm. Thighs clenching, abdomen tightening, toes curling. Faintly you know you're screaming his name loudly, but you're too far gone in bliss to fully register that it's you who's making those noises.    By the time your opening your eyes back up he's finally pulled away from you. His mouth is still shining with your release and you can't help but groan at the sight of him slowly fisting his leaking cock. His mouth is on yours in an instant, both of you groaning at the taste of both your orgasms. Your hips jut into his, the desire to feel filled by him is starting to drive you into a frenzy. You need to feel him, one orgasm isn't enough. Never really has been for you, but especially not when it's finally with Tae. "Tae, come on, please fuck me."    The way he groans low and sweet has you clenching around nothing and desire trickling out of you once again. You watch, entirely entranced, as he finally enters. You're well prepped enough that there's no burn, just sweet sweet satisfaction. His head rested in the crook of your neck, peppering small kisses along the vein as he stayed still before slowly pulling back out. His hands wrap your thighs around his waist before he starts moving rhythmically. Each movement is harsher, faster than the last. Each thrust has both of you groaning at the sensation. You can feel him everywhere, so utterly full as he prods away at the right spot that has nerves on fire.    "God, you're so fucking tight. And wet, holy shit. Can I...can I feed from you?" You can't help but moan at his words again. He looks so perfect, almost like a sculpture has come to life. The sweat is making his hair cling to his face, casting a glow to his tan skin. "You have to say yes, I'm not taking a moan for an answer."    "Yes, please Tae." At the green light, he nuzzled back into your neck, his tongue snaking along the pulsing vein before his fangs sunk in. There's something about the mix of pain and pleasure that almost feels like a high each time. Sinful, dirty, perfect. And it has you tumbling into another orgasm around him. Clenching, moaning, milking Tae to finally come to his own. His tongue laps up the last of the blood, seeling away the bite as his hips begin to rut sloppily through his own completion. He stays lodged inside as he starts to soften and presses a few soft kisses on your lips. You feel not just satisfied, but somewhere into a place of warm and fuzzy bliss.    "You know, it was worth the wait." He sighs at the sound of his phone going off and grimaces as he finally pulls out to look at his phone. "I have to leave now so I won't be late to practice. Can I...come back over tomorrow? I don't have the day off, but I do have a break in the afternoon."    "Of course, just text me when you're on your way over. Don't push yourself too hard."    Tae gives a boxy grin as he pulls on his clothes before weaving his fingers into your hair and pulling you into a heated kiss. "As much as I love seeing you naked, you should probably put on some clothes so you don't catch a cold. I'll see you tomorrow, my queen."    You watch him leave silently, a smile plastered to your face. You certainly weren't expecting for this to happen when you took on the job. You weren't expecting these blossoming feelings of love to take over when you started to first tease Tae. But the world works in mysterious ways, and you couldn't be happier with the results.

[puppetwritings]

To Heaven and Back || Pt. 4 || Junhui

Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 // Pt. 7 //

➢ Word Count: 3802

➢ Genre: chinese mythology, fantasy, angst, fluff

➢ Summary: You had been a martial god, sitting at the helm of Heaven’s armies, for a very long time. So long, that you had began to forget what your human life was like but for some reason, recently, you were dreaming of past events again.

--------

Yu Lingjin watched you silently and with confusion as you strolled up casually to the innkeeper and asked for one room. Yu Lingjin had no qualms about sleeping on the ground or sharing a room with another person—he just didn’t understand why there was a need to get a room at an inn in the first place. But he was unsure of whether or not he should bring this point up with you.

“If you’re curious about something, then you should ask,” your voice broke through his thoughts, causing the normally stoic young man to turn a bit pink.

Yu Lingjin cupped his hands in front of him and bowed. “I was only wondering why…why General won’t stay at a temple but instead chooses to stay in a mortal inn.”

“Temples are boring,” you said simply. Yu Lingjin’s eyes bulged from his head. Temples were boring? That was the most disrespectful thing Yu Lingjin had ever heard a god say. “They’re full of people who are devout and when they go in there, they are there to respectfully pray and hope their sincere wishes will come true. If I wanted to hear all that I would be the one sorting through all the prayers I receive—not my underlings. Besides, we’re in the mortal realm. In the mortal realm, you can gain very interesting information. Mortals like to talk and if there is something threatening them, the gossip will only grow larger. If it wasn’t for Lord Xuanmo extending his hospitality the first night, we would have long gotten information from the mortal’s point of view. So, now, we need to eat like mortals, sleep like mortals, and listen to gossip like mortals. Understand?”

Yu Lingjin completely did not understand, but he nodded. General Yu had taught him from an early age to not question higher-ups. You were the same rank as his master, therefore he should not question you.

“But, temples still have their good uses. We will go visit on tomorrow.”

“A temple?”

“Yes,” you glanced back at him as you opened the door to the room you two were going to share. “Where else?”

“Who’s temple?” Yu Lingjin frowned, his brows creasing. The only temples in this town belonged to…

“General Xia, of course.”

You took in the perplexed look on Yu Lingjin’s face. General Xia Yuanmo was your mortal enemy before you died. Heaven did not choose sides so if you were a hero then you were a hero! It did not matter if you had fought on opposite battlefields before. When you woke up after some terrible pain, you might find yourself living across from your mortal enemy. Naturally, you had no personal grudge against him. You felt that he was too smart. General Xia had been undercover in your kingdom before he turned around and stabbed everyone in the back. He had been at the helm of the siege to your kingdom’s capital city. To say there wasn’t bad blood would be a lie, but General Xia and you were now comrades of the same cause—there was little to do against him even if you did have a grudge.

“Will General Xia welcome you into his temple?”

“You think there is a protective measure against me?” this wasn’t rare. Many gods and deities had protective measures against some others that they didn’t get along with.

Yu Lingjin nodded.

You laughed. “Young Master Yu, then that would mean you will have to go in to listen to the gossip. Oh, how I envy you.”

You leisurely strolled passed the pale-faced Yu Lingjin and set your things down. Yu Lingjin sat frozen for a moment before he cleared his throat. You looked towards him. “Then…today…will we…”

“Today we will eat lunch downstairs, after we will go to General Xia’s temple. Keep your ears wide open, alright? We need all the information we can get on this…this…”

“Poisonous Butterfly.”

“Yes, the Poisonous Butterfly Clan,” you frowned, tucking your sword away as you seemingly pondered a deep thought. “Doesn’t the name sound a little racy?”

Yu Lingjin’s face flushed red. “W-wh—General, what are you saying?”

“Just that it almost sounds like the title of a lewd book,” you said, turning to the full-body mirror in front of you. You adjusted your robes, fixed your hair which had been tied up into a flowing ponytail and tapped your face.  You turned to Yu Lingjin, “How is this?”

Yu Lingjin still hadn’t recovered from your previous comment and could only stare ahead, eyes dazed. When he focused again, you had changed your appearance. “General, why not just stay a female?”

“Should I?” you tilted your head and turned back to the mirror with the smallest frown. “Am I better looking as a female?”

“Male or female, General looks good either way,” Yu Lingjin answered honestly, the flush from his face slowly retreating.

“Young Master Yu, you are so straightforward,” you said deviously, causing his cheeks to redden again. You laughed. It was so entertaining messing with this young man. After another moment’s thought you decided to stay as you were. “Young Master Yu doesn’t speak much so I have to do the talking.”

“General can still do the talking as a woman,” Yu Lingjin said, following you down the stairs.

“You have been in Heaven for so long, you have forgotten that mortals have no respect for women,” you said with a shake of your head. “It is easier this way.”

Now that you had mentioned it, Yu Lingjin did remember something similar to what you said. Perhaps it was easier for you to travel this way. Yu Lingjin’s expression clouded though. You were a great general who ascended to Heaven—how dare a bunch of mortals not respect you.

You glanced at him with slight amusement. If General Yu was a silver wolf like others nicknamed him then Yu Lingjin was a little puppy. He was an unseasoned soul in this world, though he did his best to mimic General Yu. It made him so much more adorable.

“Is there something wrong, General?” Yu Lingjin asked, looking up after he poured you a cup of tea.

“I’m going to adopt you as my little brother.”

“Hah?”

“I’ve decided. From today onwards, you will be my little brother,” you said, taking a sip of the tea he poured. “I drank this so the deal is sealed.”

“Wh—but that wasn’t—”

You laughed when he became more flustered. You had a soft spot in your heart for him already. He reminded you of your real little brother from when you were alive. Though, your younger brother had been the livelier one and you had been the stoic one.

Yu Lingjin closed his mouth and did not reject anymore. You were odd and there was no way to argue with you so he could only keep silent and nod to your ways. It was only a month at most—he didn’t believe that he wouldn’t be able to handle you.

Upon finishing lunch, you two had gathered that this Poisonous Butterfly Clan had always been around, bullying people. The only difference now was that they had started leaking their way into the gods’ territory and that is why the gods are now laying a hand in this matter.

You sighed, shaking your head as you made your way to General Xia’s temple. “As expected, gods truly are selfish.”

Yu Lingjin glanced over. Yet another disrespectful comment from you.

“You don’t agree?”

“There are some things…that shouldn’t be said out loud,” Yu Lingjin said after some hesitance.

You chuckled, nudging him. “Do you really believe in that ‘Heaven is all knowing’ nonsense?”

“I…I am only surprised because you are…much different than how I was told.”

“And how were you told, hm? Don’t be shy. Just tell me.”

“I was told…you were stiff. Easily angered,” Yu Lingjin glanced at you. “A cold beauty…”

“Do you think I’m not?”

Yu Lingjin shook his head.

You smiled. “See? That’s the perk of being my little brother. You should feel happy.”

Yu Lingjin frowned, looking confused. Did that mean you didn’t act this friendly around others? Had you really taken enough of a liking to him to take him in as your little brother? Did that make General Yu your godfather as well then…

You allowed Yu Lingjin to space out as you two traveled to General Xia’s temple. When you arrived, you had to cup a hand over your mouth to hold back your laughter. Yu Lingjin looked equally as surprised.

General Xia’s statue was depicted as a burly, almost barbaric, man. He wore heavy armor and carried a huge blade. He looked like any martial statue except it was completely incorrect.

General Xia was in no means a pretty boy but he was not this. When he ascended he had been in his late thirties. His face was chiseled handsomely and the scars on his face added to his charm. He wasn’t the best looking but he wouldn’t definitely never be categorized as the worst. No one would have nicknamed him a god on earth, but he was a handsome one among man. This statue was truly and insult to the great General Xia.

“At least you can tell he isn’t one who is petty about looks,” you said, regaining your composure as you walked in.

Unexpectedly, no barrier stopped you from entering so you and Yu Lingjin stood off to the side, looking at charms as you listened in on the conversations. Many were prayers to General Xia to end this demon invasion and prayers that hoped their sons would come back healthy and well from the borders.

“Humans are actually sending humans to fight against demons?” Yu Lingjin scoffed, shaking his head.

“They don’t know better. Besides, if gods are turning a blind eye and they’re suffering, what else can they do,” you mumbled, turning some charms in your hands though you had no intention of buying.

Yu Lingjin nodded. That was true too.

“So,” you turned to Yu Lingjin as the two of you headed back to the inn after one and a half hours of loitering, “What have you learned?”

Yu Lingjin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise when you asked.

“Before you came to me, General Yu asked me to help you gain more worldly experience as a member of Heaven. So, that is what I am doing. First, tell me what you think has happened and then what you think should happen next before telling me what you think Heaven would approve that we do.”

“First…demons have invaded this part of the mortal realm—most likely other parts as well. The only reason here was brought to our attention was because of Kunlun Mountain,” Yu Lingjin said, his eyes staring ahead, dazed, and a hand against his chin as he thought. “Second…what should happen next is the gods take action and descend to shoo away the demons.”

“But what do you think will happen?”

“We…will have to return to Heaven to report our findings and only if they allow us to take action then we will be able to action. Otherwise, our hands must not touch this case in the even that demons turn to us and start to rebel.”

“Good,” you said, smiling in satisfaction. “Perfect. As expected of Young Master Yu.”

Yu Lingjin glanced at you, flustered by the compliments but he sighed worriedly. “But General, what should we do now?”

“We will do as you say,” you said. “Our priority is to protect Kunlun Mountain. Just word of us two investigating will send the demons further away. We will request a few guards to set up camp—I believe the demons have regained enough strength to outwardly attack yet and they are only trying to monopolize the mortal realm. If they had gathered enough strength, they wouldn’t just be poking around Kunlun Mountain, they would have stabbed it already. Therefore, stationing a few guards will ward them off. As for the humans…”

“Yes?”

You glanced at him before your lips curled up slightly. “You actually care for human’s safety?”

Yu Lingjin hesitated a moment before he nodded.

“Then that’s simple. Shoot down a bird to warn the flock.”

“Meaning…we need to take down one of their camps to tell them that we are protecting mortals as well?”

“Smart boy.”

“But how…”

“I have my ways. For now, go report back to the Emperor. I’m staying in the mortal realm for a few days.”

Yu Lingjin’s eyes widened but after a moment’s hesitation, he nodded. He disappeared into the crowd and a moment later, you saw the clouds shift. Yu Lingjin had left.

With a soft sigh, you continued your way to the inn.

-------- 

Your boots touched the stone steps softly as you made your way up to the peach forest on Kunlun Mountain. The small child from before had pointed you in that direction when you had requested to see Master Xuanmo.

When you reached the edge of the forest, you heard it. The sound of the guqin. Your heart nearly leaped from your chest and you inhaled sharply. You hadn’t heard that sound in two years but it was still clear in your memory. You stepped forward and quickly followed the music…only to be severely disappointed.

“Oh, General?” Minghao smiled, lifting his hands from the stringed instrument. “What a pleasure seeing you here.”

You should have known. His way of playing the guqin was much less refined than how the guqin player played. You scoffed and turned away.

“Hey,” Minghao left the small platform, throwing the covering over the guqin, and followed you. “General, how mean. We haven’t seen each other in a few days and you’re still so cold to me.”

“It’s only been a few days,” you repeated. “Are you suggesting that I should miss you?”

“Of course,” Minghao replied shamelessly.

You glanced at him and sighed.

“Hey, why did you look so excited just now? Do you like the guqin?”

“Not particularly.”

“Liar, I saw your eyes sparkle.”

“Perhaps, but your playing isn’t that good.”

Minghao’s eyes widened. “Oh, really? Then, who’s playing is better than mine? Tell me.”

“I don’t who this person is.”

There was a pause before Minghao gasped. “Did you…were you…perhaps…”

“What are you saying?”

Minghao glanced around and his fan was once again opened before he leaned over and whispered, “General, did you find a mysterious lover who plays the guqin?”

Your eyes flashed with a murderous rage and your sword was unsheathed in one motion. Minghao smiled nervously with his hands raised. “What did you just say?”

“General, I was only joking! Honestly, I was. Knowing our righteous General there is no way you would have a lover. No, they would be…um…they would be first. You would not accept someone on the side after them either,” Minghao chuckled.

“What nonsense are you spouting,” you grumbled, sheathing your sword and continuing to walk.

“Nonsense,” Minghao nodded, following after you. “Are you looking for Lord Xuanmo?”

“Naturally.”

“He is not here.”

You stopped and glared at him. “Would it have killed you to tell me earlier?”

“No, perhaps not, but I didn’t know our objective,” Minghao shrugged innocently. Minghao looked around, “Where’s Little Yu?”

“He went back up to Heaven to report the situation down here. I was planning on burning a demon camp as a warning and I came to warn Lord Xuanmo beforehand.”

“A bold move, but a necessary one,” Minghao nodded. “If you die, I will preserve your soul.”

You scoffed, “Much appreciated Lord Xu.”

“Of course. What are best friends for,” Minghao grinned.

You rolled your eyes. You were not planning on dying, but you knew that was an empty promise. Once a god died…all that was left for them was for their soul to scatter and they would fade off, only becoming a legend for later generations. If you died as a god, that would be your end. This was never a topic the gods talked about but when it was brought up, it’d dull even the brightest gods’ eyes.

“Be careful out there,” Minghao said once you two had reached the gates of Kunlun Mountain.

“I will.”

“Come back safe or I won’t have anyone to torture,” Minghao said, a soft smile on his face.

You could only glare at him though. “Stop acting like you’re already planning my funeral.”

“Of course not, I wouldn’t dare.”

You gave Minghao one last look, which the other party shrugged off, and headed in the direction of the demons’ campsite.

The demon’s campsite had been concealed by many spells but no matter the number of spells, one couldn’t beat out the intuition of a god.

As you stepped up to the empty area, you unsheathed your sword. With one hand holding its scabbard and the other holding the sword, you made a swift diagonal cut across the air. The illusion in front of you peeled back like wet paper and in front of you was a glorious campsite with ten tents, pitched in a circular fashion. You stepped into the campsite and the illusion healed itself, not revealing that anything had happened.

You sheathed your sword and walked through the campsite, looking this way and that but you did not see any signs of the demons. After a moment, you reached into your robe and pulled out a talisman. Upon whispering a spell, the rectangular sheet of paper burst into green flames. You casually threw it behind your shoulder and continued walking, repeating this same action until you turned around and found that the fire had started eating at the camp.

Cries of alarm sounded through the camp and you quickly jumped into a tree. Before you couldn’t complete escape, however, one of the demon guards caught sight of you and pointed, alerting his brethren. You could only hold back the urge to turn around and taunt them before you jumped to the next tree branch.

Before you could go far enough, an arrow sprouted out of your back and you fell forward from the impact. That couldn’t be right, you thought as you turned to look at the arrow. Your eyes widened when you saw the color of your blood. Purple. The arrow had been coated in poison.

You let out a curse but started to sprint, your spiritual energy being suppressed by the arrow. If you pulled it out, the poison in the wound might react to the air so you could only endure this suppression for now.

After a while, you couldn’t hear the chaotic screams of the demons and you couldn’t see the glints of their sword in the moonlight. Normally, your acute sense of hearing would allow you to hear the bird chirping far away, but at the moment you felt like your head was below water. You could still hear everything, but everything had a muffled quality to it. Your head felt heavy and your arm was becoming numb. So, even though you were now surrounded by the quiet of the forest, you couldn’t trust yourself. What if the demons were just far enough that you couldn’t hear? In that case, letting down your guard would only lead to your own doom.

You stumbled around for a while and eventually collapsed.

You could feel the prickly grass poking at your cheek. Your eyelids fluttered open and you casually noted the loss of sensation on the right side of your body. At this point, you could barely see your hands and you knew that your hand wasn’t lying very far away from you—you could still feel that arm. When you tried to sit up, it was as if you were trying to push a boulder without using your godly strength. For that moment, there was only one thought that crossed through your head—were you going to die?

And if you did die then who would care? The Emperor? Xu Minghao? Or maybe your newly appointed brother, Yu Lingjin…or maybe no one. You hoped that no one would care. You always hated getting attached to people after your family had been murdered. It was always easier to be that “great general” that you had become after losing everything you cared about. No one cared about you and if they did, they only cared about your talent. It wasn’t about you. They would only be missing that talent you had in the world and that comforted you. After some time, someone might think “Oh, I wish someone like our General was around to help us” but no one would long for you.

You let out a shivering breathe. The warm, summery weather had suddenly become so cold.

“Over here!”

You struggled to stay awake in that moment. It was not a friend so it was definitely a foe. Only someone who understood the situation would speak with such conviction.

“My Lord, this is the insolent low-life that set fire to our camp.”

“Oh?” the voice that responded flowed like silk, soft and elegant. There was a tinge of warmth but to acknowledge its presence was like acknowledging a small candle in the middle of an expansive maze.

“What should we do with him?” another demon growled, satisfaction lacing his voice after finding their prey.

“Give him to me,” the voice said.

There was a long silence before one of the demons cautiously spoke up. “Give…give him to you, my lord?”

“Yes.”

“What will you do with him?” the second demon asked.

The owner of the voice smiled but there was no mirth in his eyes. “I will do what I want.”

“But, my lord, we must take him back and report—”

“My lord, you are only a guest at our camp. You are not even part of our cause,” one of the demons suddenly spat. “You rejected out proposal to work together.”

“All the more reason for you to hand him over to me,” the voice turned icy cold. “I’m being nice by not choosing a side—would you like me to choose the wrong one?”

There was another long pause before you felt yourself being lifted up. You had blanked out in between their conversation multiple times and you had not caught the last sentence. You could only struggle weakly and stare at the chest in front of you. The man who had picked you up did not harshly scold you, instead he bent down and quietly whispered, “Don’t worry…you’re safe now.”

You were too tired to try to detect magic in his voice but somehow, you believed him. He pressed you closer to his chest and shot a glare at the two demons before he turned and walked away, a sense of urgency in his steps.

~~~

(A/N: check out the description or the pting ff tag on my blog for new chapters!)

[agirlinhell]

WHAT THE F.U.Q 

The following are frequently unasked questions and answers regarding my portrayal of Clementine. Enjoy! 2/?

Q: Does she have any inner demons?

A: Ahaha. Yes. She has a lot. Likely her biggest one is hostility/spite? If you wrong her horribly once or give her any reason to make her hostile or spiteful, she may never let it down unless she believes you’ve genuinely made up for it (even then it’ll still burn in the back of her mind). And depending on the wrong that was made on her, this can make her grow incredibly violent or make her angry or furious. And when she is furious she is 100 times likely to attack to kill. She hates it - especially after the whole James-AJ fiasco in the cave - but can’t figure out how to deal with it and it scares her, because she doesn’t want this trait to reflect onto AJ.

Q: What are her self care tips?

A: Self care… She does a lot of this? Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. She takes supplements and herbs nearly everyday, rarely has a lot of sweets or foods high in salt due to the lack of resources needed to make sweets until later years. Drinks lots of herbal tea, prepares good meals if she has the ingredients or enough food to do so.

She knows to treat herself, perhaps more than she should. Rarely pushes herself too far, takes time to rest and feels better, especially after the amputation of her leg. Physically, she pretty much feels as if she is glass and can break easily? She’s gentle with nearly everything she does, not using too much physical force/strength to do things.

Q: What does Clementine do when she can’t sleep?

Goes for a walk or a ride on her mare, Epona, in the forest, or do something time consuming. If available and not already doing so, she’ll go find someone she’s close to (regardless if they are asleep or not) and cuddle with them. Other times, she’ll practice her piano lessons and sing quietly to herself, or stargaze while pondering and dreaming of better things to come.

Q: What would she impulse buy at the grocery store?

A: If she ever was at a shop or store she’d either buy food, clothes, pet stuff or random books, crystals, and trinkets. Or gifts for people. Or even buy shiny things, tiny things, fuzzy things. Honestly she might take whatever she sees (and might not buy it).

Q: What order does she wash things in the shower?

A: She doesn’t have a shower but usually focuses on her hair.

Q: What sort of apps would she have on her smartphone?

A: Obviously modern verse but she’d have Instagram, Snapchat, Spotify, Youtube and Netflix. things to entertain or challenge her.

Q: How does she act around children?

A: Very kind, very gentle, very sweet. Treats them nicely, though often stern if they have done something wrong. She allows them to be excited or coaxes them to speak about their interests, etc.

Q: What would she watch on TV when she’s bored and nothing she really likes is on?

A: Again modern verse but probably anything cooking shows. or Oasis/Love Nature channel (lots of animal/nature shows owo )

Q: What kind of weather does she enjoy most?

A: Other than water and snow, Clementine adores the sky. Sunrise, sunset, stars, clouds, etc. Within the school’s areas of the forest she knows some of the best places to see the stars, even within some of the tallest and most sturdy trees. She’ll spend hours out, usually around sunset and late into the night. Or if she can’t sleep she will go outside to see the stars, usually returning by sunrise. But the sun is Disagreeable. It’s too bright, it leaves a mark in her vision if she looks at it, it blocks out her view of the sky.

Q: Is there a certain scent that brings about nostalgia? If so, describe a memory this scent brings back. 

A: Flowers. Many types of flowers, many different scents. A giant bunch of different flowers. It reminds her of her mother. She used to tend to and grow flowers and plants when she was little. She’d often sit with her while she harvested or set bundles together. She was, and still is a mama’s girl so anything relating to her happy times with her mother is cherished. Different flower scents reminds her of certain days or memories with her mother.

Q: What about nature do they find calming? What about nature do they find disagreeable?  

A: Clementine is certainly a fan of nature, her biggest interest being the diversity and endless sights to see. What she finds most calming is any form of water in nature. Rain, a river, a waterfall, snow, ice covered surfaces. Being within the forest she doesn’t see as much snow as she’d like to, but the school is right beside a river. It’s often where she goes to relax or think. What she finds disagreeable is quite actually the forest. Perhaps it’s because many of the battles she’s fought have taken place there, or that there’s just tree after tree after tree. She enjoys seeing the sky, especially at night, and the large trees tend to cover it in most spots. She has and will climb trees just to see the sky. She often used to take AJ up into the tall trees and they’d watch the stars together.

Q: What is something that causes her to question herself?

A: What doesn’t cause her to question herself? Clementine is often questioning herself about everything. A common example of something that she questions is motives to kill someone. Even if she believes someone deserved to die, she’ll figure out maybe twenty reasons why they didn’t. She’s a very guilty person. It’s the same with everything. In an argument, if she says something harsh– maybe she shouldn’t have. If she makes a comment about pretty much anything, later she’ll ask herself why. She’s quite a bit at war with herself over everything and it’s quite fatiguing for her, but she’s literally been mostly alone since she was nine. She’s often set in her ways, but wonders if her ways are the best ways to go, especially after her recent conversations with James.

Q: How does Clementine interact around her friends?

A: Clem is quite loving towards her friends. Once she finds a friend she can be close with, trust, or share struggles with, she tends to care a lot more for them than most others, even if she argues and fights with the friend. Tends to consider them family, and shows a side of herself that others rarely see. Fiercely protective, has and will kill for her friends’ safety. So far, she’s only had very few friends like this.

Q: Is she proficient in musical instruments or in music in general?

A: Clementine used to sing when she was younger but stopped after the age of ten after Omid died. She began singing again when she began taking care of AJ in hopes it would soothe him. She has a good singing voice. Although she’s open minded about many genres, she tends to prefer gentle music, or upbeat types with a soft edge to it. Music she can get lost in and feel free of worries. Daydream music. She loves playing music to the sound of rain, and may often sit outside or with a door/window open to hear it at its loudest. Otherwise she often plays a flute or a harp by the river beside the old fishing shack, to the sound of water flowing over the rocks and downstream. Louis teaches her the piano and it’s a very stress relieving hobby for her.

Q: Would she kill if they had to in order to protect a loved one?

A: In a heartbeat. She is very loyal and devoted to others and would see killing another as a sacrifice worth making, to protect those she loves.  If her “loved one” has proven themselves to be strong and capable, Clementine will rarely act in her way in front of them. The best she does is get defensive, protective or angry. She will, however, get rid of threats in secret. If she catches word of a plan to kill someone she cares for, sooner or later that person may turn up dead or go missing. It’s happened before and she won’t hesitate to do it again.

Q: Does she consider herself a good person? 

Not at all. She knows she is disagreeable to some and is aware of many of her flaws. She’s often had many angry outbursts that hurt people she cares for, and finds this shameful and unacceptable. She is aware of her apathy and limited care for others outside of her two inner circles - family and close friends - though she doesn’t see it as particularly bad. She knows others do. She often bases if she is good or bad on how many times she has hurt or upset people she cares for, and currently she sees herself as a terrible person.

Q: Is Clementine honorable?

A: She likely has more honor than most people around her in an apocalyptic universe, though Clem herself isn’t sure of it. Since there aren’t many rewards or mentions of honorable acts, duties or behavior in an apocalyptic universe, she tends to do her own thing, for honorable acts mostly get one killed. In her experience, those with honor in their hearts always end up dead. She’s seen it happen many times.

Q: Would she seek revenge against someone who’s harmed her or the people she cares about?

A: Usually yes. More likely towards those she cares for. Most times, however, its as long as she remains angry/furious, scared or hurt. If the feelings die down, apathy often takes over and she blocks these things out. She isn’t the type to strive for revenge over countless years, intense planning or travel miles upon miles to enact it. It’s more of a spur of the moment revenge, until she is calm again. Often she even ends up feeling bad about the revenge she has made.

Q: What does she think of ‘good’ and 'evil’?

A: Clementine is a bit vague when defining good and evil. She feels the definitions change from person-to-person, and can’t often see another as blatantly evil. In place of “evil” Clementine sees others as disagreeable. People that enjoy murder or torture and destroying innocence (killing/abusing young children, harming animals, etc) she finds greatly disagreeable and may (be tempted to) get rid of the person... permanently, if given a chance. However, anyone that claims they are a good person receives serious doubt from Clementine. “Good” and “evil” can only be defined by others, not oneself. To say you are a good person means she’ll believe that you are not, and instead think you are full of yourself. It’s best to refer to that as others see you as a good person, and she’ll look to see why, and if she agrees.

Q: When would she tell a lie?

A: This is dependent on who he is telling the lie to, and the situation. If she is scared of the response or scared of hurting someone important, she’ll lie about something. There were times she would lie to keep people away, keep them unable to know who she was.  But this she is currently moving away from and is opening up to try trusting few others again. She also gives innocent lies for fun and teasing or joking. It’s a form of playing to her, and often does so affectionately.

Q: Would she manipulate someone to get what they want? 

She is rather manipulative, so yes she probably would. That doesn’t mean she would often use people or lie to get close to them and toss them aside when finished. (Unless she finds said person disagreeable in the sense that person kills/abuses young children, harming animals, etc.) She often manipulates in forms of persuasion or bribing, often enjoying the bit of control she gets from it. She is also not afraid to manipulate others and even resort to blackmail to get what she wants, especially if it means protecting AJ. However she doesn’t think of it particularly as “manipulation” or controlling others. In fact half the times she isn’t completely aware that she is doing it, she simply wants things to happen and works towards it. She enjoys Things Happening™

Q: Does she believe in luck?

A:A bit? Not enough to fully trust, rely or believe in luck. She’s more keen to believe in actions and causes. She won’t argue that there’s no such thing as luck, at the very least.

Q: Favorite animal(s)?

A: All. Cats of any type, foxes– for sure. Many kinds of reptiles and amphibians; snakes, turtles, lizards, geckos, chameleons, frogs, axolotl. Opossums, ermines, skunks, ferrets, narwhals, owls, bats, wolves, otters, most birds, lemurs, minks, weasels, etc. And many, many more.

Q: Favourite food(s)?

A: She’s omnivorous and doesn’t have a preference, but she loooooves apples and chocolate. Big on fruit, enjoys vegetables mostly when cooked or seasoned. Many kinds of sweets and ice cream.

Q : Favourite weather?

A: Gentle breezes, snowy weather, partially cloudy days. Likes warm days  (not hot) as long as sun isn’t beating down on her all the time. More of a fan of winter, though does have favourite summer weathers. Hates wind and straight, hot sunlight.

Q: what’s a physical attribute she is attracted to?

A: Tallness - though in her case this isn’t quite that hard. Honestly she prefers “stronger” and “larger” men and women. Not too large and buff though, she thinks there’s a point where it’s excessive and unappealing. But she does prefer people with a larger body size than her, or have defined muscle, etc. She loves freckles and dimples and smiles that reach the eyes. Tattoos and scars are a BIG bonus.

Q: what’s a personality type she is attracted to?

A: Kinda that “tough to understand/distant/closed off” type. She feels it’s more rewarding to build up trust and try work at understanding and getting closer to people. Again, there is a point where she can’t take it anymore and it’s unappealing, if the person is too closed off or never shows signs of being able to open up– she won’t waste her time and will take it as someone not being interested at all. She really likes kind and honest people, and the ability to make her laugh s something she truly adores. If you make her laugh, you bet she’s into you.

Q: Does she prefer love or lust? Why?

I’m going to use her adult verse for this question but a bit of both? Lust is much easier and less stressful for her, she can get the attention she needs and craves and ideally break off with no strings attached to another person, not having to be forced to commit to someone nor having to deal much with the emotional struggles of relationships. Her experience with love has been incredibly difficult and painful but she does enjoy some of the feelings that come with it. It is much more stressful and she often never seems to get what she needs with it either due to separation or death. It’s excessively difficult and sometimes she feels it isn’t worth it, until she’s around the people she’s interested in and she’s screwed over again. There is a sappy, soft side to her that wishes she could find someone for her, but she feels her time is running out so she’s somewhat stressed about it.

Q: how good/bad is Clem at following rules?

A: Really depends on the rule and/or who gives them tbh. If someone she dislikes gives a rule, regardless if it’s good/bad she’ll rather spitefully do what she can to break it or refuse. If someone she respects or accepts gives a rule she’ll be more likely to follow it, though much more hesitantly if she does not agree with it. If committed, she can follow rules perfectly.

Q: How about art?

A: She is fairly creative and expresses it in various forms of art. She was taught at a young age to make things. She is very good at painting and drawing. She loves painting mostly scenery or sky, but very rarely does she have the time to do so. She gets a lot more time to do this after her leg is amputated.

Q: Swimming?

A: Much better underwater than above water. She’s able to hold her breath for quite a while and has often preferred swimming underwater than above. It’s too noisy and splash-y above the surface, with awkward flailing and splashing about and she really dislikes it, especially since it could potentially draw walkers and prefers the calm, muted and odd noises underwater. After her leg amputation, she feels very saddened that she’s unable to swim anymore.

Q: Singing?

A: Often Clementine enjoys singing when she’s alone or around people she is comfortable with. She isn’t bad and can carry a tune well, but she’s a bit self-conscious of it and will be quieter if uncomfortable. Prefers lullabies and soft melodies. Often can be found humming or “singing” wordlessly. If she sings to you, you’re very special to her.

Q: Cooking?

A: Not as amazing as a cook as Omar, but still a great cook! She has had to cook for herself since a young age (used to make food like pancakes for her mother). She has experimented a lot over the years, though with limited resources she hasn’t been able to make a large variety of items.

Q: What’re some amazing or cool feats that she’s done outside of the canon timeline or at the very least in timeskips between seasons or offscreen?

A: She was trained in the art of war by Ava in between taking care of the wounded soldiers and the young infant AJ after her initiation in The New Frontier and learned Morse Code, how to shoot bigger rifles, what was alright to eat in the wilderness and parkour and David Garcia often watched them spar. She infiltrated and escaped in and out of Prescott - a heavily guarded city - without being undetected four times. She rescued an abused foster child by running her motorcycle through their house. She ended up owning her own little bar and a piece of land in Prescott with her own passe and entourage at twelve years old, and she didn’t even flinch when being held at gunpoint by a hostile rival gang in Prescott. During her time in the city, she was a spy, an arsonist, a thief, a beggar and a child mercenary for hire all in one little package. She held her own in a shoot out against rival assassins and once broke a drunken man’s nose because he threw a bottle of whiskey at her and a space just above her eyebrow to bleed. During her time spent in Prescott, she never gave out her real name and gained notoriety for being the youngest survivor in town and given the alias “Hellgirl” and she gladly took that name with pride. She rooted out a coalition of gangs and reported them to Tripp only for him to hang them for treason, thus gaining his trust. She is sassy and doesn’t take shit from anyone.

Q: You mentioned that post-The Final Season that Clementine is a Pagan. What style of Paganism does she follow?

A: She’s currently delving into different types, but she is Pantheistic and believes in the Greek gods and natural spirits, albeit after all of her experiences in the apocalypse, there is a darker twist to it. She takes an intrigue in Kemeticism and necromancy, witchcraft and has been interested in Voodoo. She’s also very animistic and believes that every animal and every part of nature has a meaning, a soul and a name. Clementine takes a huge interest in the occult and anything grim, and often collects crystals, flowers and herbs to use in her spells. However, it should be noted that she is a beginner and she’s learning things little by little.