#been chasing this hight ever since

[smolsadred]

i might as well post this hes never getting a background

[namjoonscoffeeshop]

Dear Namjoon | 03

Dear Namjoon | KNJ

✧ Pairing: Kim namjoon x reader ✧ warning(s): explicit language, suggestive content, mature content ✧ genre: angst,fluff,smut,slow burn ✧ synopsis; You're sent to live with your father and older brother. only that your older brother is in a band called BTS. you meet jimin's friends and automatically get tangled with one of his band members. you're relationship has to be kept a secret but for how long can you keep it that way?

prev | index | next

I remember when jimin and me would have sleep overs as kids, we would have the time of our lives. so waking up next to jimin who looks like a mochi as he sleeps made me reminiscent of those days.

my brother was the cutest when we were kids, when ever he would come visit me everyone wanted to get to know him. once he got into hight school, and he came to visit me. all the girks went crazy and going to school on my own was annoying because girls just wanted to be my friend to get a chance with my brother.

i don't think i've ever had any real friends. but that's fine.

jimin's little snores fill the room, i grab my phone from then night stand to check the time. we needed to get up soon so i did the only thing a sister will do to their brother.

i kicked jimin off the bed.

it was funny until he screamed, then it wasn't funny cause he sounded like it actually hurt. tangled with the blanket as he tried to get up. but i run out the room, my dad stands at the end of the hall confused as to why i was running and laughing. he seemed to understand the situation once he saw an angry jimin coming out of his room chasing me.

"y/n i'ma kill you, you hurt my fucking elbow" he yells as he chases you, you finally make it to your room, rushing inside you lock the door. as you lean against the wall to catch your breathe you hear jimin outside your door

"y/n open the door"

"no" your wheezing at this point from how much your laughing

"it's not fucking funny, it's the last time i let you sleep with me"

"i love youuuu"

"fuck you" he yells as he walks away from your door

after getting ready I gather up my courage to go see jimin, and beg him to let me go to school with him. i didn't feel like driving.

"no" he glares at you through the mirror as he combs his hair

"pleasee, i'm sorry ok" i pout trying to get him to agree, but he just ignores you

giving him back hug i pinch his waist"pretty pleaseeeee"

"noo i wanna take my bike and i can't with you"

"what do yo mean you can't? i'm not afraid"

he sighs, grabbing your hands that were wrapped around his waist, he turns to look at you "dad said no cause you wear a skirt" he smiles at you

"thats bullshit on a stick" you cross your arms

jimin stares at you as if he was pondering

"you know what fuck it lets go" he throws his arm over your shoulder, grabbing his bag. he passes by his closet getting a sweater "but wrap it around your waist, we don't want him to go all psycho" you wrap the sweater as you both head downstairs. your dad was in the kitchen getting his morning coffee and bread as he was taking a call

"we're leaving for school" jimin calls out, getting his dad's attention

"ok, y/n are you taking your car? it's in the garag-"

"no i'm going with jimin"you give him a wide smile, jimin still had his arm around your shoulder "don't worry dad she'll wear a helmet"

"wait but jimin" he gives jimin a stern look

"don't worry dad" he smiles and we walk away.

"how long has it been since you've been on a bike" he hands you a helmet

"shit since you brought yours" tugging on the sweater on your waist to make sure it's secure, you also didn't like the idea of someone look at your ass.

you hold onto jimin's waist lightly and he chuckles "sis hold onto me , if you fall i'll leave you there"

tightening your grip on his waist you pinch him "jerk"

"yeah yeah"

i would be lying if i said i wasn't about to shit bricks when he took off in full speed giving me no time to get used to it. my grip around him tightens more and i let out a scream.

"didn't you said you weren't afraid" he laughs

"oh shut up"

----

thankfully the school wasn't far from us. pulling up to the parking lot he parks next to other motorcycles. he kept teasing me about my scream and was exaggerating that i probably bruised him from how hard i was holding him

"ooooo jimin who's this lovely lady" the guy with a boxy smile gets off his bike and walks to us

"hey bro" they do a handshake and jimin turns to me "it's my sister" he smiles brightly

"the famous y/n" he reaches his hand out towards you

"yeah..and you are?" you shake his hand

"taehyung"

taking off the helmet you hand it to jimin, getting off the bike you realize that people are staring at you

"why are they staring?" you fix your hair, cursing yourself at the thought at your hair might look like shit due to the helmet

"oh don't mind them, its the park effect"

"park effect?" jimin and you say together

"well it was the jimin effect, but since your his sister" he looks around, glancing at the guys "well it's now the park effect. since you're both good looking"

you wanted to put on the helmet again, this it he most compliments you've ever gotten in one conversation

"come on little sister lets go find out your schedule" jimin holds your arm, as he glares at the guys making taehyung chuckle

taehyung follows you guys, walking next to you. you glance at him, noticing he is good looking himself. and just like jimin he also had people staring at him. if he's one of his friends then where are the other friends jimin always talks about?

"where's everyone else?" jimin asks as if he could read you mind

"i think they said they weren't coming today" he shrugs "but i would never leave you all alone at school, so i came" he smiles

"what a great friend" jimin rolls his eyes

the day ended quicker than you thought and just like taehyung said none of the other guys showed up. during lunch jimin told you to stay with him. it was nice being with him. you finally know what it's like to have fun in school. Jimin is in his junior year while your a sophomore. "my sisters a nerd" jimin tells taehyung as you guys walk to the parking lot

"i can see, like dang girl do you live with your nose in books"taehyung looked surprised as he looked at your schedule

"my life is boring unless i'm with jimin, i got nothing better to do then read" you yank the paper from his hands and stick your tongue out at him

"everyone is already at the spot, you guys going home first?" taehyung asks as he gets on his bike

"nah were going right now, are you going home?" taehyung shakes his head

"lets go then"

jimin puts the helmet on you, and waits till you get on.

"now don't squeeze too hard" he chuckles

------

we made it to a club, and i was honestly confused. my dad is bothering me over clothes but jimin can come to places like this. getting off the bike jimin grabs the sweater from my hips and tells me to put it on. "don't go wandering around, if something happens dad will go for my head" he tells you with a serious tone

"ok"

the three of you walk over to a side door where a huge man stands

"nick how you been?"

"if it ain't jimin and taehyung" they all shake hands and the man looks at you "who's this?"

"my sister, if you ever see her here make sure she gets in please" he nods and opens the door letting the three of us in

the music is loud and it's dark. you can only see jimin and taehyung in front of you. you grab jimin's arm, trying not to get separated from him as you get through the crown, walking to the bar. there you see a tall man with broad shoulders with a white dressing shirt. he was with someone else who had silver hair and a black suit

both of them looked at the three of you but their eyes stayed on you. "jimin is this your sister?" the boy with silver hair speaks loudly to try and be heard over the music

"yeah her name is y/n, this is jin and yoongi" he points at then

"nice to meet you"

looking around you see a bunch of people dancing, the girls had nice outfits and were wearing heels. maybe it would've been better if we had gone home to change

"we got you both a outfit" jin tells jimin and taehyung

"nice, y/n stay here" jimin points at the seat next to yoongi, taehyung and jimin leave following jin

and you sit awkwardly next to him, conscious at him staring at you. "so how do you like it here" he suddenly starts a conversation

"ah..it's good, just getting used to the new changes" you smile

"getting use to having a dad huh"

his words caught you by surprised but of course he would know. he's one of jimin's best friends, jimin must've said something

"yeah" you sigh "i'm really trying to get used to it"

he nods, opening his mouth to say something he gets interrupted by a younger boy who rushed over to us "hyung, hoseok asked if you could come to the back" the boy with doe eyes glances at you ask he talks to yoongi

"yeah sure" he gets up and glances at you "let's go" he waves to follow him

"jungkook, she's jimin's sister" he points at you, and hearing his name made you remember the boy. once when jimin came over he was on the phone with someone called jungkook

"oh hey, i'm jungkook"

"y/n" you smile.

passing the double doors, you expected it to be something else. maybe less crowded but it was worse, unlike where you were sitting there was a stage here. people were performing and the crowd were dancing.

yoongi turns to look at you "stay here, i'll let jimin know your in here" he points at the wall, it was starting to irritate you that they were just telling you stand still and behave basically.

nodding you lean against the wall. jungkook tells you goodbye as he follows yoongi through the crowd, someone walks up to the stage, and the light dim down even more. making it more dark in the large room. lights of multiple colors light up the room. you watched about two performances, and it was starting to be boring just standing here.

"people usually dance in a club" someone walks up to you, and your heart skipped a beat as he towers over you as he leans on the wall next to you, eyeing you as he waits for your response

"ah..i don't dance" you nibble on the inside of your cheek. intimidated by him

"my name's namjoon" he smiles again

"y/n" you keep eye contact with him.

"by the looks of your clothes, i don't think you are allowed to be in here" he looks at you from head to toe

looking down to your clothes, you really wished jimin had taken you home to change

"right, i look out of place" you chuckle awkwardly

"not at all" he says sarcastically,

"i didn't have time to change"

"how old are you" he asks

you continue to look at him without responding "i'm only asking cause you are wearing the same uniform from my school" he grins

"are you new? i've never seen you before" he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you see his dimples show as he smiles at you.

"yeah..today was my first day" his stares makes you melt

"so y/n, you dating anyone?"

"no..you?" he shakes his head. the eye contact between the both of you drew him to lean more towards you. his hand is holding the nape of your neck, your heart is beating so fast against your chest. you glance between his eyes and lips

"can i kiss you" he whispers

and as if you were in a trance you nod at his words. smirking at your response he pulls you into a kiss.

you were screaming in the inside, this was your first kiss and you didn't know what to do, as he kisses you , you just stood there awkwardly, namjoon pulls away and raises his eyebrow

"sorry i've never kissed anyone" you feel your face and ears heat up in embarrassment

he chuckles at your words "don't worry, i'll teach you" he kisses you with his warm and soft lips once more. i could feel the soft tickle of his breathe as we kissed.

"breathe with your nose" i gasp for air, his lips brushed against mine "breathe, cause i'm going to do it again" his lips touch yours as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth you parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. bodies pressed together heatedly against the wall, you finally get used to kissing him, my heartbeat was loud in my ears and i wondered if he heard it too. breathing heavily as our lips are pressed together, he tilts my head back deepening the kiss even more

"good girl..see you got the hang of it" his hands roamed under your skirt and he gropes your ass. making you squeal at his sudden touch. "i'm surprised you let me just kiss and touch you however i want" he massages your butt

"it's just that..your handsome" i feel so embarrassed that my eyes tear up.

"yeah?" without wasting time he kisses you again, more eagerly

the kiss overpowered all my senses, he lifted me up. making my legs wrap around his hips. i cling onto his shoulders.

breaking the kiss we stare at each other as we catch our breathe. his hands caressing my ass. my hands wrapped around his neck. he leaves a trail of pecks down my neck, as I tilt my head he sucks against my skin

"n-namjoon" you accidentally moan his name, causing him to smirk against your skin. bitting your bottom lip to try and keep you from letting out any other sounds. he moves his head away from your neck, pressing his thumb against the hickey he just made he grins "perfect"

breathless, you stare at him. the music quiets down and they a man walks up the stage "next up we have BTS performing" and the crowd cheers

namjoon groans, giving your ass a firm squeeze before letting you down. you both fix your appearance

"let me get your number yeah?" he smiles, reaching into his pocket

"oh sur-"

"y/n" jimin calls our your name as he makes his way through the crowd with the rest of the guys you just met

"oh jimin" you say, namjoon turns to look at the them

"namjoon, that's were you were" jin says "we were looking for you, to introduce you to jimin's sister. but seems like you already met her"

"jimin's sister?" he turns to look at you, your heart is beating fast again and you feel yourself getting red "yeah, she's y/n" jimin throws his arm around your shoulder giving you a squeeze

"oh and this is hoseok" he points at the guy with white highlights

namjoon keeps his eyes on you as you greet hoseok, jimin finds him staring at you and hits his arm

"my sisters off limits" he points at him and the rest of the guys

namjoon snickers at his words, "i'm serious" he looks at namjoon "i can see how your drooling as you stare at her" you felt like hiding, jimin speaking up about how your off limits but you already had a steamy make out with him.

namjoon lifts his arms in surrender "what ever you say jimin"

"sorry y/n we are gonna go perform, just stay here for a bit longer. once were done i'll take you home"

you nod at his words. and they all start to walk away, namjoon turns to look at you and your beet red face. he gives you a wink.

once they got on the stage your eyes couldn't leave namjoon. he was also staring at you. you felt butterflies in your stomach.

jimin tells the guys goodbye and he guides you out of the club

"lets get home before dad calls" back into his uniform he tells me that dad doesn't know that he comes here. and that he hoped i could keep it a secret.

"i'll take you home next time, sorry if you were bored"

"i wasn't...bored" you respond, thankful you had the helmet on so he wouldn't see your beet red face.

"so you wanna come when i have shows?"

you nod

----

getting home you go to your room. laying on your bed you touch your lips, where just a hour ago namjoon was kissing you

"that was my first kiss" you blush as you remember how he touched you.

"i didn't get his number....was he serious when he told jimin .." sighing you walk out the room and walk to jimin's. opening the door slowly you hear the water running, you look at the night stand and see his phone there charging.

entering his room your grab his phone and open it. his password was your birthday. going into his contact you look for namjoon's number, taking out your phone you save it onto your phone.

clearing his apps you put the phone down and walk out the room closing the door slowly behind you

"how was school" startled you drop your phone, your dad was at the staircase

"it was good.." you look at him

he nods, scratching the back of his head

"how was work"

"good good" you nod

"i got some take out, so when jimin comes out we can all eat"

"ok"

he nods and makes his way downstairs

picking up your phone you rush to your room, you look at namjoon's contact number. gathering all your courage you press one the message icon.

Namjoons chat

Hey, it's y/n. i got your number from jimins phone..

attagirl, i was wondering how i was gonna get your number. i knew jimin wouldn't have given it to me

sorry about him, i didn't think he'd say that. he always does that when it comes to me

i can see why ;) i'm gonna have to go, i'm heading home but see you at school tomorrow?

yeah see you tomorrow

closing the chat i grab my pillow and scream into it.

[kellyjarofbees]

Please don't hide from me.

Fluff , Cuddling, Witchers can purr , cute ofect of mutations

When Geralt hade invited jeaskir to acumpeny him to winter at Ker Morhen along with the rest of their family, he never expected to get a confusion of love to come from ither of them. Thay were in the library fighting about, well sumthing jeaskir doesn't really remember. But it's not important the important thing was that jeaskir in his highted emotions blurted out " BECAUSE I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE THE DAY WE MET!" he shouted angerly. " you're in love with me ? " Geralt asked eyes wide with hope.

One thing led to another and well here thay were. In Geralts room, naked and buried under blankets and furrs of what jeaskir can only assume used to be a bear. The only light in the room was coming from the fire place ceeping them warm as a blizzard raged out side. Geralt is half asleep resting his head on jeasker's chest. As jeaskir played with Geralts hair he smiled fondly at his beloved. In all there years of traveling he had never seen the witcher so relaxed. Then sumthing strang happened.

A low rumbling echoed through the room. Jeaskirs instinct was to look out the window, maybe thunder from the snow? He thought "no no it's definitely coming from inside the room, it almost sounds like ..." and then he relised what was happening. He glance down at the sleeping witcher on his chest. Geralt was purring? Oh gods he was definitely purring. Jeaskir's hart nearly skipped a beat he never even knew witchers culd purr. To think Geralt was so content and cufterble with him. Ho he loves this man so much it hurts.

He was disappointed when the sleeping witcher began to stir the purring stopped as Geralt lifted his head to look at jeaskir "what's rong?" He asked sleepily "what?" Jeaskir answered.

" you're hart beat increased so I'm just making shur your ok " jeaskir smiled and sweetly kissed him on the forehead

" im sorry love you were just so cute purring in your sleep I culdent help but fall even more in love with you. " he answered in a teasing voice.

Geralt sat up completely off jeaskir with a look of worry on his face. Jeaskir also sat up chasing him " wo wait Geralt what's rong? " he feros his brow and reaches out a concerned hand and grabbed Geralts running his thumb acros Geralts nukels in a southing motion. The witcher sighed and said "sorry it's just im normally much better at hiding it, the purring I mean." His eyes refused meet with jeaskir's.

"Oh Geralt it's nuthing to be embarrassed about, I quite liked it actually." Geralt finally looked at him. " you're not ... disgusted? " he asked.

Jeaskir gently cuped Geralts face and side "no dear hart who wuld ever find such an sweet thing disgusting? "

" it's happened before." He responded and oh that broke jeaskirs hart.

Jeaskir rested there forhads together " well I love your mutations" he said.

" jeask you don't have to "

" I love your eyes "

the poet continued cutting Geralt off.

" I love the way thay look like thay glow in the dark and the way your pupils go from slits to perfectly round when you look at me, like how you're looking at me now" he moves his hade to gently kissed the corner of Geralts eye's.

" you noticed that." Geralt said blushing with a small laugh.

"I love your hair" he continued kissing Geralts hair line.

" I love your fangs" jeaskir continued with a mischievous grin and kissed Geralts lips so gently it was unbearable.

" Geralt I love you and all of you and you're mutations so please " he rested there forhads together " don't hide from me."

"I won't anymore i promise " Geralt said softly

" I love you dear hart " jeaskir said as he kissed Geralt again deeper this time shivering as one of Geralts fangs scraped his tung. He giggles and pulled away from the kiss "seriously Geralt promise me you will never fiel thoughs down again." Geralt was the one softly giggling now "I love you to jask."

Jeaskir yawned

" come on love let's go back to sleep" Jeaskir said as he lay on his back. Geralt lay in the same position as before his head rested cufterblly on jeasker's chest. The last thing jeaskir remembers before falling asleep was the the low rumbling purrs of a content witcher.

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Lucky Charm: Reflekdoll

Summary: Adrien struggles to adapt to his powers as Mister Bug while facing an old villain with a new trick. Will he be able to learn fast enough to save his partner?

----------------------------------

"Reflektas, start turning the rest of Paris into me!"

Adrien hid behind the overturned car as Reflekta's clones started attacking untransformed civilians. Apparently, Reflekdoll broadcast a signal that brainwashed any copies. "That's new."

"You are Chat Noir, correct?"

Turning, he spotted a red kwami holding a pair of earrings. "Yeah? And that over there is... Ladybug?" Adrien asked as someone who could only be his Lady launched herself at the giant sentimonster. The suit may have been different but the cat ears were a dead giveaway.

"There's been a little mix up with the Miraculous. I'm Tikki, pleased to meet you!" Tikki offered Adrien the earrings which he accepted.

"Well! Tikki, transforme-moi!"

-----------------

Marinette dodged blast after blast from Reflekdoll.

"Well, my Lady Noire, looks like you're playing the easy part today!"

Lady Noire looked over to see who could only be Chat Noir with her Miraculous. "Not so sure about that!" Placing herself in front of him Lady Noir whirled her staff as a shield, blocking Reflekdoll's beam. "Looks like we'll be taking on two opponents that amplify each other's powers!"

They jumped onto the top of a nearby stone pillar as Reflekdoll attacked again.

"Stay focused, Mister Bug!"

Mister Bug took his yo-yo out and whirled it like he'd seen Ladybug do countless times. "Just my luck. I'm gonna have to capture two akuma instead of one."

"No, one akuma and one amok," Lady Noire corrected.

Reflekta fired her beam into one of the ports onboard. The magic layered by Reflekdoll before it shot a concentrated beam. Mister Bug acted on instinct and tackled Lady Noire out of the way. They rolled to their feet and charged up Reflekdoll as Lady Noire explained what a sentimonster was.

"Would've been nice to know what the Peacock could do before their sentimonsters started showing up!" Mister Bug commented as he launched a kick at said sentimonster to little effect.

"It was on a need-to-know basis!" Lady Noire swung her staff into the sentimonster with similar results.

"I really need to talk with the Guardian about what he considers 'need-to-know'!" Mister Bug leapt back towards the ground with Lady Noire. "Okay, so we need to find Reflekta's akumatized object and the baby monster's amok."

Lady Noire deflected another beam from Reflekdoll. "Can you manage or should we switch back?"

"C'mon! I'm totally capable of doin' it!" Mister Bug smirked.

Lady Noire pulled him out of the way of Reflekdoll's beam and they ran towards the Eiffel Tower. "We need to figure out where the akuma and amok are!"

"Probably the same place as the last time we fought her. In her bracelet!"

They jumped onto the tower itself and used the iron structure to shield themselves. "Maybe. We're gonna have to check that!"

"If I could just get my hands on a mirror I'd be able to reflect her own beam back at her!"

Landing on the first level, Lady Noire turned to look at Mister Bug. "That's not how it works." She crossed her arms. "The Lucky Charm doesn't just give you what you want."

"You ever asked? Watch and learn!" Mister Bug grinned. "Lucky Charm!"

"A mirror!" Oh, Adrien was gonna lord this over her so much! 

"Beginners luck," Lady Noire declared. Chat Noir was gonna be insufferable about this she could feel it.

"You're just jealous of my mastery!" Mister Bug teased.

A loud banging interrupted them and they looked down to see Reflekdoll climbing the tower. Reflekta steering with one hand and shooting her much smaller lasers through the window eyes with the other.

Mister Bug held out his mirror and reflected one of them back at her. Bullseye!

Reflekdoll shot at them with its big beam.

 "Very effective, Mister Bug."

"Hey, it worked didn't it?"

Lady Noire sighed in exasperation. "May I remind you that the Lucky Charm doesn't just give you an object to defeat the villain with-"

"I thought that's exactly what it does?"

"You actually have to figure out exactly how to use it!" Lady Noire poked him in the forehead. "Using your head!"

Reflekdoll reached there level and started firing. Mister Bug jumping for cover while Lady Noire blocked its attack with her staff. "Since you wasted your Lucky Charm. I guess that means it's my turn, buggaboy! Watch and learn! Cataclysm!"

Lady Noire leapt at the sentimonster and-

Her body was pulled out of the way of Reflekdoll's beam just in time. Mister Bug unwinding his yo-yo none too gently. "What was that about using your head? May I remind you that Cataclysm needs a physical medium to work properly! If that sentimonster is made outa magic I doubt it'll do what you want!"

Lady Noire held the Cataclysm as close as she could without actually touching it. "Well, what do you suggest?"

Mister Bug pulled her out of the way of another beam. "Uh... I... Knock her back to ground level while I come up with something?" Adrien smiled with the most conviction he could muster.

Lady Noire groaned. "Think fast!" And rushed out. Dodging Reflekdoll's attack she extended her baton and struck the sentimonster with her full momentum. Reflekdoll crashing back down to earth.

Taking advantage of Lady Noire's distraction Mister Bug glanced around from his high vantage point. Trying to spot anything that would spark an epiphany like Ladybug. "Okay, I admit it!" he cried out, shoulders slumping, "Being Chat Noir is way more fun."

Lady Noire leapt around the sentimonster and struck at its body. The Black Cat giving her a bit more agility than she was used to. Very handy.

Mister Bug added a swing of his yo-yo to one of her attacks. Reflekdoll stumbling with their combined force.

Lady Noire landed beside him. "What have you got?"

"Ah," Mister Bug rubbed the back of his neck. "About that..."

She stared at him. "Seriously!?"

"Well, I'm sorry! Some of us are just slow learn-"

"LOOK OUT!"

Lady Noire didn't think. She just acted. Mister Bug was the only one who could purify the akuma and he needed to keep going. She pushed Mister Bug out of the way as one of Reflekta's clones attacked... Just as Reflekdoll fired its beam.

"My Lady!" Mister Bug cried out.

Lady Noire stood immobile as a Reflekta copy.

"Yes! Now get bug boy's Miraculous!" The original Reflekta ordered.

Springing to life, the Reflekta that used to be Lady Noire aimed her bracelet and fired.

Mister Bug whirled his yo-yo as a shield and leapt to the nearest roof.

"You won't get away from me!" Reflekta called after him as he fled for cover.

-----------------

Adrien leaned against the wall of his hiding place. Breathing deeply, heart hammering in his chest. "Okay. It's okay. Ladybug does this all the time! What would Ladybug do? What would Ladybug do?"

The Ladybug earrings beeped insistently.

"This is fine!" Adrien announced as he detransformed.

Tikki falling into Adrien's palms as he fell to his knees.

"This isn't fine! Tikki, I can't do this! I'm no Ladybug! We should've switched back when she said! I-" Adrien's chest constricted and he forced his breath to slow.

"She trusted you enough to keep going," Tikki said weakly.

Her state bringing Adrien out of his head. "You need food."

Tikki hovered closer to his face, looking him in the eye. "No two of my Ladybug's have ever been exactly alike. Some are slower learners than others. I trust you, too."

Adrien looked away, shoulders hunching. "But I messed up."

"Remember Stoneheart?" Tikki prompted. "Ma- Ladybug messed up too. But you still believed in her." She placed a paw on his cheek. "Believe in yourself now."

Adrien's gaze came back to her.

"Don't ask what Ladybug would do. Ask yourself: what would Adrien do?"

Steeling his resolve Adrien nodded, rising to his feet and cupping Tikki in his palms. "First things first," he inched closer to the alleyway's entrance. The overturned car with his stash of Camembert a short sprint away. "Let's get you recharged."

A gaggle of Reflekta clones chased a group of civilians past him. The people hit turning into more copies and standing still until the akuma villain's voice came booming over the city. The new clones springing to life so they could follow her orders.

They lit up in Adrien's mind and his head shot back to the sentimonster in the distance. Its beam lighting up too.

Adrien gazed down at Tikki and grinned. "I've got an idea."

-----------------

"Lucky Charm!"

A mirror fell into Mister Bug's hands. "Wow, twice in a row. Lucky me," Adrien deadpanned as he tied it to his arm like a shield using his yo-yo. The plan was a laughably simple two step process.

Step One: Get shot.

"Hey, Reflekta!" he hollered from a rooftop at convenient shooting hight. "Don't you know that pink frills are so last season?"

"Once I turn the whole world into Reflektas it'll be the only season!" She fired into Reflekdoll's port which concentrated her energy into a stronger blast.

Just as planned. Mister Bug braced his feet and held his Lucky Charm directly in front of him. "Here we go!"

The sentimonster fired.

Step Two: Shoot Reflekta with her own sentimonster's magic.

The beam reflected off Mister Bug's mirror and perfectly into the round eye windows. Blasting Reflekta dead center.

Adrien held his position for a moment, peaking past his makeshift shield. Reflekta and Reflekdoll stood still. Waiting for orders from... themselves. The enhanced magic dependent on the sentimonster and by extension whoever was driving it.

"Yes!" Mister Bug raised both fists. "Now just a little pest control and we can all get on with our day!"

Finding and purifying the akuma and amok was easy when he wasn't being shot at. Grabbing Juleka as the sentimonster vanished and setting her down on the ground.

Adrien looked at Mister Bug's reflection in his mirror... "I've always wanted to do this." And tossed his Lucky Charm into the air. "Miraculous Mister Bug!"

As the ladybug's restored Paris he spotted a familiar black suit. Adrien ran for her.

"Mister Bug? What- OOF!" Lady Noire stumbled as her partner barreled into her and tried to squeeze all the air out of her lungs. Once she could breathe Marinette wrapped her arms around him and patted his back. "You did good, little bug."

Adrien just held her for a moment. She was okay. He'd saved her. She was okay.

Then his earrings beeped.

Breaking the hug, Mister Bug jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Ah, we should split."

"Yeah..." Lady Noire readied to extend her baton. "... I think I finally get why you're so protective."

Mister Bug smiled. "And I get why you're so focused all the time."

He offered a fist bump and she accepted. Both heroes leaping in opposite directions.

-----------------

"Tikki!" Marinette cradled her friend to her chest.

"Marinette!"

"I can't believe how much Chat trusts me... Knowing you might have to do that again? I don't think I could handle it."

"He's your Chat Noir for a reason, Marinette," Tikki agreed.

-----------------

"Fighting by yourself is horrible, Plagg! I don't know how Ladybug does it." Adrien held him tight. Deciding never to let his Miraculous out of his sight again.

"She's got you most of the time, doesn't she? You're supposed to support each other, ain't ya?"

"Yeah. You're right..."

-----------------

"... Well, one things for sure, Tikki." Marinette gazed off in the direction Plagg flew towards.

-----------------

"She definitely-"

-----------------

"He definitely-"

-----------------

"-got the short straw."

----------------------------------

Yes, this is technically the last prompt... But it's already written and I'm impatient.

@adrienaugust

[illyrian-lover-flower]

My partner on four paws

Hi, @autophobiaxx - this is your second gift and honestly I am not quiet as happy with this one as with the first one. 

But I still had my fun writing it, sipmly because it was something entirly new to me. The end might seem a bit rushed though ... I still hope you enjoy it😘. 

Word count (note not included): 8. 382

“Sorry we are late. I had to call my other sister to give me a ride, because the one who actually wanted to drive me here is still stuck at the vet.”  introduced a woman herself as she walked up to our table. Another one, that looked almost like her, close at her heels. A sceptical look on her face with which she eyed our little round.  

Though most of her attention belonged to Rhys, who answered the kinder looking one with a blinding smile and sparkling violet eyes; “It’s fine Feyre, darling. We are just glad you and the lovely sister of yours have found the way to us.”  

The one with the sceptical look only scoffed at him and took up the seat between Cassian and Mor, right opposite of her younger sister I would guess - by the assessing look she gave Rhysand. His form shifting uneasily as he moved to pull the chair out for Feyre.  

Her storm grey eyes looked worriedly around between the group of people who sat at the long table. But those concerned eyes soon found peace as she saw Rhys violet ones. A calming gaze and a careful nod all she needed to feel safe and comfortable while the rest of us eyed her and her connection to our brother.  

Cassian looked at her a bit sceptical, though he was always able to hide that well behind a smile. Amren, next to her, was fully aware of the sharp look she gave her. Letting our guest squirmed under the pressure of her silver eyes while Morrigan’s kind brown, almost gold, ones rested calmy on her. An assessing kind smile on her red lips as she took in the one that was in the middle of Rhysand’s attention.  

I couldn’t really concentrate on her. On anything to be honest.  

Though I do have to admit she looked kind and seemed to have somewhat of a chemistry with our brother, so there is probably no reason to be worried about her. And if she is the one Rhysand rambled on about the entire day when I had called him, to ask when exactly we would meet up, then she would surely be the right one for him.  

His rambles honestly annoyed me at that point. The rambled apologies of a clumsy trainee still ringing in my ear when he started it too.  

Three people in a day that rambled at me. One I barely knew, but didn’t like. My brother and a woman that had ran into me today and tackled me to the ground.  

Those soft words she chose so clumsily still printed in my brain. The entire scene, from just two hours ago, replying itself over and over again in my head.  

This mushy brain of mine having memorized every little freckle on her pale skin. The warm colour play of brown in those soft orbs of hers still catching my breath if I only thought about them. Gold, hazelnut, caramel and gingerbread swirling and chasing around in her Irises. A cosy feeling having settled into my guts when I had seen them.  

“Good evening Ladies and Gentleman. What can I bring you for tonight?” suddenly called me out of my thoughts the waitress, that stood at our table. Luckily Mor was engaged in a lively conversation with the rest of the table that no one had time to look at the menu and pick something to eat, so we ordered our drinks in peace.  

The absence of my attention luckily fallen under the table as no one noticed it.  

‘This would become one hell of a long evening.’ I thought to myself, already rubbing tiredly at my eyes as I studied the menu. In the end I went with the same I always chose and let my mind wonder back out the window. My eyes seeing, but also not recognizing the heavy rain that poured outside on the street.  

Couples with no umbrellas hurrying to get back home from a date or simply a walk, while those people with umbrellas walked calmy among the sidewalks. Crossing the streets and the fallen leaves of fall with a light easiness. Enjoying the drum of the rain on the fabric that kept them dry.  

Red, blue, yellow, orange, dotted and striped umbrellas walking past the window of Rita’s.  

‘I wonder what she is doing.’ ‘If she managed to get back home dry?’ ‘Had her puppy escaped her again?’

I long knew that my thoughts were a tousled mess. A net full of thoughts that kept circling around a woman I didn’t even know the name of while I occasionally tried to listen to the conversation. Knowing now that those who sat at our table were Nesta and Feyre Archeron. The oldest and the youngest of three sisters, their middle sister still stuck somewhere. At the vet if I remembered Feyre’s introduction right.  

Who in their right mind is making an appointment with the vet at seven in the evening? Perhaps she was a business-oriented woman with little time - who knows. Feyre and Nesta, both, did not lose a word about her.  

No name, no age, no mention of their middle sister as the evening aged.  

Mor already all bubbly with Feyre as she admitted “I honestly had not thought that I would have the pleasure to one day meet my cousins Girlfriend.” she chuckled “Up until this point I had thought this one would die alone on his couch claiming ‘I have never met my soulmate!’”  

Feyre only coughed at that while Rhysand seemed to shift around on his chair. Nervous violet eyes looking everywhere but his cousin. For a moment, so it seemed, he searched for help in my hazel eyes. Pleading me silently to do something about it, but I barely had anything at the tip of my tongue when I had a good day. With this bad day lurking above my head, I couldn’t think of anything to get the attention off of him and bring it to me.  

The thought alone of all of their attention on me gave me the chills.  So, Rhys needed to pull through that one alone.  

A nervous gaze turned to Feyre capturing the attention of all of us. Even mine, if only for second.

“Feyre is actually my Fiancé...”  

At this point I was actually glad I paid attention to them, because otherwise the wet spray of cola and red wine, that erupted from Cassian and Amren, would have confused me. But I guess one of the things that will make me remember this evening even in a year, were Nesta and Morrigan.  

Both rising to their full hight, while Feyre and Rhysand seemed to wish for a hole that would swallow them whole. I luckily only had a quiet coughing fit in my silent corner. It was a fracture of seconds until the whole scenario escalated.  

Nesta standing opposite her sister, like the iceberg that caused the Titanic to sink, with crossed arms, while Morrigan was the whole opposite of her. Where Nesta waited for her prey to defend herself and let her dwell in coldness until she did so, did Morrigan leap across the table and pulled her cousin up by his collar.  

Her burning embers meeting slightly frightened violet eyes. “When the hell did you plan on telling us that?!” “Today.” he mumbled, slightly chocked by the collar his cousin had a death grip on.  

The steel eyes of Nesta wandered for a brief second to Rhysand before she turned back to Feyre. Tired of her quietness she asked a question each of us wondered about “How long have you been dating anyway?”  

“Will you let him go once I answer? Because, you know – I still would like to marry him soon.” Mor only scoffed at her cousin and shoved him back into his seat. Taking hers together with Nesta.  

Fire and ice having a weird play with the nerves of all of us.  

Though at this point I would say Feyre and Rhys had luck on their side, as Cassian still recovered from his coughing fit, else an embarrassing stream of questions would have flooded their way.  

Amren –who had moved to the seat opposite of me- occasionally coughed in her glass of wine as she tried to get as far away from the lovebirds as possible.  

“We have been dating sine one and a half year.” declared Feyre proudly. Earning herself a coughing fit from Cass again, who I started to smack on his back. Hoping it would go away sooner.  

While Mor only sighed, “Why hasn’t anyone of you said something earlier? Because, like it looked to me, your sister didn’t seem to know about your engagement too.”  

Nesta only chuckled humourless, answering Morrigan without her ever having asked a question to the steeled woman “When Feyre told me we would meet someone; I had been assuming it was her boyfriend. Not her Fiancé. She was fidgeting after all, so she gave herself away that it was someone important – though I hadn’t thought that important.”  

Feyre only blushed as she found out of her sisters' knowledge.  

‘I wonder, who is going to tell their other sister?’  

But no one seemed to mind that. The table falling back into a comfortable atmosphere once Nesta and Mor took a sip from their wine goblets. Though Amren couldn’t bring herself to swallow down a snappish comment “Do we need to know about another year and a half, in which you had been engaged?”  

“We are only engaged since yesterday!” yelled both quickly, easing the stiff rise of Nesta's and Morrigan's shoulders.  

“That’s why you had googled ‘Ways to propose to someone?’” Rhys spat out his water at Cassian, gaping at him from the front of the table. His beloved Fiancé trying to surpass her giggles, while Mor and Amren had absolutely no problem with bursting out into laughter.  

The dark and the bright one, of our group, turning their voices into a cackling symphony of laughter.

I myself not quite able to hide a quiet chuckle as I looked out of the window again.  Rhys yelled question “What the hell are you doing on my laptop?!” the last thing I heard before fully focusing on the scenery in front of me.

It was quiet a lively picture, despite the late hour. Perhaps it was eight now and yet there were still hundreds of cars, their bright headlights getting reflected by the rain that soaked the bussy streets as they drove all around of Velaris. Occasionally I could make out a man or a woman at the steering wheel, talking into a headset while they drove to work or home.  

‘I wonder as what she works?’  

I found myself wondering again. A humourless chuckle escaped me as Amren kicked my shin carefully ‘I should wander what her name is.’

“Are you alright, Shadow?” she only whispered the question. Well aware that our group of friends would turn their attention immediately to us once they heard her nickname for me.  

It symbolized them that something was very wrong and that I was about to become an empty shadow of who I actually am. Amren had found out about this pretty soon, though she never really pried.  

I still can’t tell if she did it to tell me my guard was too low or if she truly worried about me.  

A sigh was all I could give her as I rubbed at my temple. “You know, the usual hectic day at work. A broken-down printer, a trainee who spilled coffee over the few printed documents all the while I had my boss waiting in his office for an article that was due till yesterday.”  

“Need a glass of wine?”  

“No, I still got to walk home.” “I have to drive home.” she simply answered. Finishing her, perhaps, second glass of wine. Maybe it was already the third.  

If it would have been anybody else than Amren, I would not be that calm with her having to say ‘I am driving home.’. Simply because I knew she could handle her alcohol well. Amren might have been the shortest one of us, but she could drink each of us under the table and still walk straight out the front door.  

But she was a careful driver and I knew if she drank her second glass already, Varian would be on short call tonight.  

Shaking my head, with a chuckle on my lips, at the black-haired woman. A sudden ‘ping’ captured the attention of the entire table. All our eyes going to the oldest Archeron who rummaged through her little purse for her phone. Not batting an eyelash at each of us as the phone kept her attention.  

Cassian slowly leaned over her shoulder, to peer at the screen as a whistle escaped him and a sigh Nesta. She already wanted to put her phone away, when my other brother spoke up. “Why haven't you brought your kid with you?”  

Feyre chocked on her wine, while her sister looked at him as if he had grown another head.

Weird, somewhere I had seen this look before.  

“Excuse me?”  

He pointed to Nesta’s phone. Her screen saver still on the view for all of us and soon had us all awing. Just not me as I saw the little infant on the screen.  

Dressed in a red woollen dress with black woollen thighs and reindeer horns atop of her honey golden hair, she smiled into the camera. The chubby face of the infant all alight as red colour-that was once only placed on her nose- was smeared all across her face. A Golden Retriever standing proudly behind her, as it seemed to smile in the camera too.  

A phantom feeling suddenly lay itself over my cheek. Memories of far forgotten times coming hurriedly back to the front, like a thunderstorm, as I felt it again. The soft nuzzle of her nose into my hollow cheek and her reindeer horns pinching me in the eyes.  

My bandaged hands holding onto the little ball of sunshine. That gave a frightened six-year-old me, that hadn’t known of anything despite the basement of my father, something to hold onto.  

This little body of hers, that lived in freedom for the year or so which she jumped around on this world, an anchor for me. Who suddenly noticed, that the world was more than just a dark basement and that there were more emotions than anger and hate.  

Happiness seeming to wave off of her as she claimed me in a hug.

A hug.  

When I was little, I hadn’t even known something like that existed. Now as I thought back to my childhood, my mother had given me a hug only a few times, before she was let in the basement again the next week with bruises all over her body.  

It were three hugs I had gotten from her, before that little infant had stormed up to me.  

My heart binding tight to her little ones as I held her cradled into my weak arms. I wasn’t able to hold her very well, those numb hands of mine barely able to keep her up. But I didn’t want to let her go.  

Didn’t want for her to leave my side as she enveloped me in her sunshine.

A blinding sunray I held onto.  

Even now I found my heart wondering at times who she grew to be.  If she was still that little ball of sunshine, spreading happiness and love with every breath she took.  

Wondering if the world gave her what she deserved - a life full of happiness and love and laughter So, it was only clear that I hung on every word Nesta spilled over her little sister, who was displayed as her wallpaper. The hard voice of hers the softest I had heard it tonight.

“That’s my little sister Elain you idiot.” Cass looked sceptically back and forth between the screen and Nesta. As if he couldn’t quite believe that such a bright shining ball of sunshine could be related to this steeled woman.

“And why exactly are you having a picture of your little sister as your background and not your boyfriend ….  or a picture of all three of you?” he hurriedly added with a blush on his cheeks.

I wanted to groan at him for his painfully obvious question. But I couldn’t, my voice was stuck in the back of my throat as a tight feeling wound itself around my heart. The picture in front of me capturing my entire being.

‘Let her continue to talk! God damn it!’  

The oldest Archeron only rolled her eyes at him. Seeming to have a generous heart tonight she gave him the answer he hoped for. “I don’t have a boyfriend and you might not want to believe it, but this background safes hundreds of co-workers each day, from getting yelled at.”  

“May I ask why?” questioned Amren her now, her silver eyes fixed on the phone as she scanned over the chubby face that smiled at us from the screen. This stoned face of hers not showing any indication of what ran through her mind.  

Nesta only raised her eyebrows at her before she fully explained herself; “My sisters are the best human beings in my life. And even though I love both dearly – the cuter pictures exist from Elain. Sorry Feyre for that.”

But she only shook her head, looking with a bright smile at the screen on which one of her older sisters was shown “I am not even angry at you for that one. She looks so adorable! Where have you found it anyway?”

Nesta seemed to think about if for a moment, her eyes not able to stray from her cute sister as this bright smile of hers seemed to remind the steeled Archeron of where she found it “I had rummaged through a couple of old boxes in my apartment and this picture was among the many things I found there. I just had to scan it in and use it as my wallpaper!”  

All of us chuckled as we listened to the two sisters rambling on about their middle one. For the first time of the evening was the attention on the one that was not here with us now.  

But Mor’s  innocent curiosity had Nesta thinking, “How did Elain react when you showed her the picture?”  

The oldest Archeron furrowed her eyebrows together, deep in thought as she took a sip from her wine; “When I had shown Elain the picture, she didn’t precisely have the reaction I thought she would have.”  

“Which one did she have?” questioned Cassian again, remembering the oldest Archeron of his existence, so it seemed. As we were all drowned out of the conversation that erupted between the two sisters.  

“I don’t really know. She mumbled something about a boy she had met that day. Or rather something about soft hands that held her carefully. I am not fully aware what she meant with that.”  

Feyre only sighed at that. Rubbing her eyes tiredly only mumbling her next words “She sometimes has this.” “What, Feyre, darling?”  

Rhysand’s eyes searched the one of his Fiancé with a worried look for answers. Those tired blue eyes of hers lightening up the moment they locked on our brother. Cassian and Mor exchanged some knowing looks, as if they knew about something the two of them didn’t.  

Though there wasn’t really anything the two could know about at this moment. Their smirks fading as soon as Feyre’s heavy voice rang in our ears. It sounded so different than the voice we heard all evening, a cloak of sadness seeming to cover her. “Elain sometimes has these weird moments in which she sees …. things.” tried Feyre to explain.  

Nesta only nodded at her while she continued.  All of our confused gazes locked on Feyre’s slumped form “She - I don’t know how it works- sometimes sees these cryptic things she blabbers on about.  Trying to explain to us what these things might be. But in all honesty, I don’t think these ‘Visions’ are good for her.”  

“How so?” I found myself asking. The two Archeron sisters looking at me as if they hadn’t even known I sat at the table, who's atmosphere seemed to shift faster than the weather in April. Both of their blue eyes rested on my stiff body as they assessed if I had a right to ask this question.  

My brain well aware of every breath my body took, but this traitorous heart of mine also wanted to hide those crippled hands of mine. Those screams, which escaped my tiny lungs so many years ago, ringing in my ears along with Nesta's cold words, though the coldness of them wasn’t directed to anyone at our table.  

“Her ex-fiancé had left her, because of these visions.” A dry chuckled echoed over the table to us. Feyre meeting the eyes of her sister as a devilish smirk spread on her lips. Spreading this smile like a wildfire on Nesta’s as well.  

A look of pride whelming up in her eyes while the rest of the table was just quiet. Hanging onto every word they exchanged.  

“You mean he cheated on her, because of these visions. Elain was the one that broke off the engagement.”  

Nesta took in a sharp breath “Yeah, after she showed up in the middle of the night at my threshold. Half drunken!”  

Her younger sisters' eyebrows shoot into her hair line “She was what?!”  

“Half- drunken.” emphasized Nesta again.  “If she was only half-drunken, she clearly must have done something wrong.” mumbled Amren into her fourth wine glass. Earning herself a glare from the entire table.  

“Why have you never told me this?! I mean - I know how the rest of the story went, so this isn’t really the most shocking part, but still! I have a right to know when my older sister is drunk!”  

“I don’t think neither Elain or I know of the all the times you have been drunk.” was all her older sister deadpanned.  

Something wild and burning rising in Nesta’s steeled eyes as Cassian dragged the attention away from Feyre, carefully asking them “How exactly did this fateful night go?”  

The two sisters exchanged a short look with each other. Making all of us realize at this point, that if anyone was to harm their sister, they would break hell lose. Though it sounded as if Elain was capable of that all alone.  

The story of her broken off engagement truly something no one of us would hear another time.  

“Elain’s ex-fiancé, Graysen -” spat Nesta. The name alone wanting to make her throw up. “he had sent her into psychiatry for about two months. Neither Feyre or I had heard anything from her in those months. I guess it is unnecessary at this point to say that we were worried sick about her.”  

“Why was she there anyway? I mean like it sounded there was no higher force, like a judge, that sent her there.” stated Mor. Cass, Rhys and even Amren’s head nodding in agreement at the train of thoughts she took. Feyre’s hollow voice would have been answer enough for us, but she went a little bit into detail.  

“Elain truly loved Graysen and believed he was her one and only, so when he told her to check herself in for a psychiatry – she didn’t object at all.” “But doesn’t - ““It was a long-term ‘project’, yes.” interrupted Nesta the tiny woman, that looked mortified.  

Never in my life had I seen her look like that. Looking with wide silver eyes and in shock at the oldest Archeron - the red wine in her small hands long forgotten, while she hung on every word of hers.  

Smirking lips revealing to us all something we weren’t able to connect to the sweet little angle that was portrayed on the wallpaper.  

Those delighted warm eyes of hers drowning in tears how Nesta described it to us.  

“I still can’t tell if she was hurt or just furious – both I would guess- as I sat her in my car. She hadn’t spoken a word to me on the drive, only the next morning did she reveal where she had been and why she hadn’t reached out to one of us, she just got sent back home from psychiatry. Wanting to surprise her fiancé, who she thought would be incredibly happy about her return. She didn’t announce herself as she stepped into their apartment – the sounds of moans and grunts greeting her. She told me the first place she went to was a bar, not entirely sure if I, or Feyre ever wanted to see her again.”  

Nesta took a final deep breath, “I wasn’t up there with her when she confronted. I just drove her there and honestly – I regret that I wasn’t with her.”  

Mor paled as well as Cassian and I. Wild pictures ran through our minds that were clearly wrong. The pictures of an abused woman filling my mind, while she screamed for help. The other woman looking pleased down on her whenever her lover hit her.  

A shiver ran down my spine, no one deserved that.  

No one deserved to be cheated on and yet Elain was one of those who had rented bad luck in love for herself, though I don’t assume a cheater was what she wished would be her one and only.  

But while we were all stuck to the innocent picture laying on the table, we all underestimated her as Nesta went further into the description of the evening, the proud smile she wore spreading onto my very own lips as I listened into her tale with delight.  

“I was just able to see a bit. I had hoped she would throw his belongings out of the window. Though I already assumed Elain would hold him a speech about trust and loyalty that no one could understand as it was drowned out by her tears – she amazed me that night. There were no clothes thrown out of the window. She had cradled them in her arms and piled them on the grass in front of their apartment complex.  The pile of clothes and mother knows what growing and growing. As she walked out the last time of the door– she had a canister of gas with her.  

“Drowning everything in the smelly liquid as she threw a match on the whole pile. Watching from a faraway distance how his things got burned, like the future she imagined with him.”  

Feyre and Nesta had, both, quite pleased looks on their faces as they remembered the doing of their sister. Amren looked like the devil herself as she took sip for sip from her goblet, Morrigan smirked along with her.  

Rhysand was left speechless, something he rarely was, and Cass only whistled. Colour having drained from his face as Feyre picked up on the story again. “This isn’t even the best part yet.”  

“It’s not?” questioned Amren and Mor in one devilish voice.  

She only nodded. “After Elain had entered the apartment, she took Greysen’s hurriedly stripped off clothes and threw them at onto his sorry ass once she found him. Though she threw these weird leather shoes of his separately – letting them strike where she wanted them.”  

Nesta had a pride filled look on her face as she took a carful sip from her wine. Those burning eyes of hers seeing things no one of us really wanted to think about.  

“Feyre, darling, at what exactly did she throw them?” asked Rhys carefully. Sweat having started to coat him during their tale, probably growing well aware of the fact that if he ever was to hurt just one sister of the three – he was sure to lose some of his most precious belongings

I guess each of us had their own guess of where she threw his shoes, most of us tending to his groin, but Feyre and Nesta revealed something so entirely different, with such smugness that no one could surpass at least a little chuckle.  

“His face. The next time we saw him he had a blue eye and a broken nose.”  

It was well deserved I told myself as my mind strayed back out of the window. A proud smile displayed on my lips as I did so.  

I knew I shouldn’t have listened so carefully, shouldn’t have wanted to know of what the absent middle Archeron had done. It was also wrong to have even just a little smile on my lips while I listened.  

If she would have been here, it might have looked for her as if we were laughing about her while it was in truth the pain that was caused to this ‘Graysen’, that had us all smiling like devils.  

Each one of us already well aware of a crippled kind of love that could hurt us, wishing the ones who caused it worse than hell.  

A past lover of Rhysand having abused him while Morrigan forced herself to love men – not able to meet the blaming looks of her family. Letting herself wither each time a bit more when she brought a man home to her family.  

And while these two suffered from toxic lovers, the rest of us suffered differently.  

Amren having never experienced any kind of love before Varian as she was left on the streets – homeless and a crying infant in the middle of a park. Her mother, or perhaps both her parents, deciding for her to never know of their love. A nun had taken shelter on her, letting her stay as long as she wished. And even though this nun gave Amren everything she could – a home, food, warmth and a bit of love it was never what she would have gotten from her parents.  

Deep down she knew that, her heart having suffered for a long time under this knowledge.  

And while she had too less love, Cassian’s mother had gotten too much of it. Her lover having loved her with everything he had. This twisted mind of his wanting to lock the woman he loved, with his whole being, away from the world once he discovered she was pregnant.  

She had run away while she was in labour with Cass, not wanting this locked away life for him.  

No one of us could think of the pain she must have had as she gave birth to him in a park. Muffling her own screams from the strangers that walked past her hide-out. Rhysand’s mother had been one of them, she had heard those muffled screams and went to look for the one in pain.  

I don’t really know how Rhys mother must have felt like as she saw the woman sitting with wide spread legs on the grass. The soft leaves of it painted red as she tried to muffle her own screams with biting into her arm.  

Everything that followed on this incident was a blur, told me my mother ones. She said Cassian was thrusted into Cassandra’s arms. His mother had instructed her to go home and take him with her.  

Rhys mother had argumented long with her to take her with them, but the woman tried to push her away. Told her if she didn’t move now, no one would be safe and everything would turn worse.  

It was a heart-breaking story the newspapers soaked up, like a sponge water. They wanted to interview Rhys mother of what had happened, but she did not let a word slip. Though the salt was still pressed into this mental wound of hers. Her heart well aware of the fact that she couldn’t keep the last promise she made to the woman.  

Knowing well that she couldn’t keep it. She had promised Cassian’s mother to come back, that she would have tomorrow and the rest of her life to live. But she wasn’t even able to reach tomorrow, her lover having found her in the same night.  

Strangling her to death once he saw her laying there.  

Up till this day I can’t tell how Cassian managed to smile again after he found out about her at the age of fourteen. The experiences I had with my own father leaving a bitter taste in my mouth whenever I thought about it.

It could have been my mother, I always thought. My mother that could have been killed as soon as someone found out that she was pregnant and I thanked the gods that it was only a life full of pain for a six-year-old me. That she seemed to be spared from it. So, I thought at least.

She was beaten down, just like me, whenever she was allowed to enter the basement.  

But she – we- were able to get away from this pain, not without some scars though. Most were in our minds, while my hands screamed of those my half-brothers had left on me. Those crippled, numb hands haunting me for the rest of my life.  

Luckily Elain was able to get away from this horrible life, I thought to myself. Looking out and realizing just how late it had turned, I wanted to look to my companions.  But they were gone.  

A note of Amrens handwriting everything that remained of them,  

‘You looked so deep in thought that I guess it is time for you to use some quietness to sort yourself out again. Feyre and Rhys already paid for us, if you plan on sitting a bit longer you get to pay your drinks alone.’  

I smiled at the little note, perhaps it really was time to get myself sorted out again.  

After all, with the woman from today and Elain Archeron on my mind - combined with her story it was perhaps better to talk to my mother again. She always seemed to have a good advice for me, though I don’t really want to imagine her laughter when I am going to explain my troubles to her.  Those so called ‘Lady troubles’ like she loved to call it haunting me down.  

A groan escaped me as I looked out of the window again, seeing just for a brief moment a coated figure that ran across the street. Rounding the corner and soon entering Rita’s. I had noticed how a waiter moved to the lady that had entered and wanted to already take her coat off, but she declined.  

The young waiter leading her with a confused look to my table.  

“Thank you.” was all she whispered to the waiter as she ordered her food in the same breath, taking up a seat next to me once he was gone. My eyes strayed over her form as she sat all wet at the table, her face and entire body covered under a beige trench coat, the only thing I could make out of her was her large stomach – that seemed to wiggle?

“Excuse me?” I turned her attention to me; this petite form of hers growing stiff as she turned to me. A nervous chuckle, which I already heard once today, boring itself into my mind again while she pushed back her hood.  

Those soft rosy lips smiling up at me once again. My traitorous heart starting to speed up by the mere look of her.  

“Elain Archeron.” she exclaimed with an extended hand, the other one holding onto the bundle on her stomach she attempted to hide. “Azriel Dandelion.” was all I could answer with a slight rise of colour.  

Those warm eyes of hers scanning my entire being for a moment before a small screeching had captured her attention.  

A warm but scolding look was displayed on her face while she looked at the little snoot that poked out from her hide out. The wet tongue of the dog moving to lick Elain’s nose once she was close enough.  

It was a cute scenario I witnessed with a bursting heart. After all, not all dog owners went that far as to disguise their puppy as a pregnancy only to not have her wait in the rain. “When are you due?” I found myself asking. Leaning smugly on my hand while she tried to shush Cookie.  

I had been scolding me the entire day for the stupid question I had asked her about the puppy, that made her owner crash into me ‘Why did you name her Cookie?’  But she didn’t seem to mind it. Back then as well as now, she only smiled as if it had been stitched into her very lips.  

Her heart not caring at all of what others thought of her.

“Well, Azriel, how long are the others gone already?” Gods! I loved how my name rolled of her tongue. This wildly beating heart inside my chest seeming to grow a tail too, as it kept wagging pleadingly at her to say my name.  

‘This is embarrassing!’ I thought with a cough. “To be honest, I have no clue.”  

It was a heart-breaking sad smile that settled on her lips as she eyed her puppy “Like I know my timing, they are probably only gone since the last ten minutes.” “Why would you say you have a bad timing?”  

She seemed torn between something as she had a turmoil looking at me, those sceptic eyes again resting on me. Just like they did four hours ago, though this time she didn’t assess if I was hurt – due to her sudden crash into my chest.  

And heart.  

But then again, she didn’t just suddenly crash into my heart. Elain was there when I had discovered my freedom. The mere memory of her accompanying me up into adulthood. These oft giggles having never left my ears as they wound deeper and deeper into my heart each time, I thought about her.  

Maybe it was the cosy feeling I always had when I remembered her freckles, those sleepy eyes as she was dragged away by the Golden Retriever, that smiled so proudly into the camera with her all those years ago.  

“Well, I once had a bad timing for when I got back home.”  

“That had nothing to do with your bad timing.” was all I could mumble, while her eyes still held mine captured. Her caramel ones locking with my hazel ones for the brief moment of seconds, before she declared a triumphing “Aha! I knew it!”  

“What exactly?”  

“Feyre and Nesta told you about my engagement.” Somehow, I felt ashamed as I nodded. I knew she would find out sooner or later anyway. But having her call me out that easily made me feel like the clumsiest kid that had been caught red handed in the cookie jar. A groan escaping me at the play of words in my mind, while she only giggled.  

Cookies brownish snoot peeking up ever the slightest.  

“Don’t worry about it. Nesta and Feyre, both, like to brag about my burst out.” I lifted a curious brow at that but she only continued to smile. Cookie barking happily at her once she saw this honest smile of her cheery owner.  

“Shhh, you already had a good time of barking at the vet!” tried Elain to shush her little pup as the attention of the few guests was turned onto her. A grin breaking lose on my face while I could only eye her with fascination.  

Love struck, like my mother would have said.

But I would care later about this. “How about we get your food as take out and eat at my place. Cookie doesn't need to hide there.” I simply put as reason a baffled look crossing her features.  

This somehow confused look of hers worrying me to death.  “That is if you want to!”  

“ I would verry much like that.”  

* * * “Azriel Dandelion! Could you give me one hell of a good explanation as to why I am here?!” yelled Feyre across the hospital floor as she dragged Cookie on a short leash behind her. The puppy, she had gifted her older sister over a year ago, having grown well over the months she was away with Rhysand. Traveling all across the court.  

Cookies tail started to wag harder once she saw my worried form standing in the middle of a pink, sterilized hallway – right before a delivery room from which I heard Elian's screams.  

Feyre’s snow coated body growing as pale as the flakes captured on her hood as she identified her sisters screams of pain. Letting the leash of Cookie fall down to the floor while she bolted for the door.  

But my bulky frame locked it. Cookie’s large form to my side, that pleaded for attention, also preventing her from opening up that door. A look of confused rage crossing those blue eyes of hers.  

“Azriel! My sister is in mother fucking pain! Let me in there!” “You think I am deaf? I hear her screams just as well as you do! And believe when I tell you these nurses aren’t patient!”  

“What?” Feyre looked baffled up at me. A storm of questions, just as heavy as the snowstorm outside, displayed in her eyes.  “I already was inside there, but the nurse shooed me out once I was about to have a panic attack – claiming I would make El more nervous than anyone else.” was all I could scoff before I bent down to scrap Cookie behind her yellowish fluffy ear.

Elain was right, when she told me of the therapeutical use – it really eased my nerves as I felt bits of the soft fur of her under this crippled flesh of mine.  

Seeming to sense my thoughts, she gently nudged her snoot into my palm. Trying to calm me on her own way down, while she sat calmly on the floor. Feyre taking up a seat next to the door as we waited outside.  

A frustrated huff leaving her exhausted body. Her teary eyes not looking at anything in particular “Can you give me at least an explanation as to why Cassian had been waiting for me in Elain’s apartment, shoved Cookie’s leash at me and told me I should go to the second floor of the hospital and look for you?”

It was readable as clear as day that Feyre was worried. Though she didn’t seem to have read the signs while she stormed up to me. “Have you checked the station you are on?”  

Like Cookie woken up when she heard the doorbell, did Feyre hunt down for a sign. Just did she not seem to be able to read all those signs around the floor through her tear-stained vision. Dreading mother knows what while she ran around the station.  

“Feyre! Look!” I simply pointed out to her the sign that hung opposite of me. Written in big fat cursive letters was: “Delivery room …" It was all she mumbled as she took up the space next to me. Some nurses eying us with shacking heads while they did their work. Clearly noticing the dog that lay to our feet, but not caring as long as she didn’t run wild.  

Though I think the last thing Feyre had on her mind now were the nurses that hurried around like bees. The usual strong voice, with which she spoke, having become breathless.  Her plate wide eyes looking up at me with a look, I couldn’t place my finger on. Settling down in her Irises, once she was fully aware that she had read my silent answers well.

“How did that happen?”  

“Feyre, I think you are old enough to know of how babies are made.”  

Well, that hit on the shoulder was a deserved one. “Now is not the time to be cocky Azriel! My sister is in labour!” “Well, if it helps – my fiancé is in labour.”  

All colour drained from her as she hit me again on my shoulder, a bruise already forming there “I am gone for god fucking ten months and you end up sleeping with my sister and proposing to her! What else is there to know? Did Cassian and Nesta start dating too?!”  

“Well, that is clearly not my story to tell.” The look she gave me made me feel glad that we were in a hospital. A doctor would always be close by, a nurse would be enough too to make a bleeding stop.    

But a bark had captured our attention as the rest of the hospital turned quiet and made us save the rest of our argument for later. Elain's screams having long ebbed down while Feyre and I were shouting at each other, right in front of her delivery room. The small wailing of a new life was all we heard.  

I think if we all would have had tails like Cookie, we probably would have cleaned up the floor better than any mop could have. Our nerves strained to the point of snapping while we waited for the door to open up. One of the doctors almost run down by the three of us, as we hurried into the room.  

Tears blurring my vision as I saw my wife to be, cooing softly at our daughter cradled in her arms. This soft bundle looking so fragile in her arms as Feyre already stopped at the door. A long stream of tears escaping her eyes while Cookie and I moved to Elain’s side.  

Eying the little girl carefully as I stretched out a hand to caress her tiny chubby cheek. The bubbly laugh on my lips something I had never before from myself. “She looks like you.”  

Completely knowing where I was going with this, she carefully nudged my side. Love and a playful fondness laying in this silly gesture “You were cubby as a baby too.”  

“Yet you still were the cuter one.” I found myself praising the woman I loved. Kissing her sweaty temple while a giggle erupted from her, making my already full heart bursting for her even more.  

I think there would never be enough words in any dictionary, that could describe this whirling storm of feelings inside my chest. My heart already bursting when I thought of the future, the future I so long had hoped for but never thought of as happening to me.  

Never have I had faith in myself when it came to love, never had I been thinking that I would one day hold a child in my arms. My – our child - as Elain carefully lay her into my bulky arms resting a bit before Feyre bombarded her with questions.  

Elain answered every question of her sister with a kind smile as the night aged into the morning. The heavy clouds of the snowstorm making it impossible to see the rising sun. But there was no reason for the sun to rise – not anymore.  

It was a selfish thought – I knew – but there was no reason for a third ball of sunshine to rise. While I had the two brightest ones cradled in in my arms already.  

My loves blinding smile everything I needed to live for the rest of my life happily. Pampering her and our little one with kisses as everything made perfect sense.  

Those ‘Visions’ that kept her awake many nights, made her live through hundreds of nightmares and her sobbing into the mornings – they connected her to me. Showed her pieces of my past, our combined past as she spoke of those soft bandaged hands, making us both remember of the day we first met.  

Though I do believe it was hard for to remember, since she was only one, but our hearts seemed to have long called for each other. Knowing from the very start that this future would be awaiting us with open arms.  

Our family. Perfect as it was – two aunts and two dorky uncles, with two bussy bodies of a godmother waiting for us. Cookie, with her brown dots on her fur just as unique as our daughter.  

Her eyes - one soft and brown like those of her mother, while the other one was hazel, like mine.  

Happiness brimming in both of them when she first showed us the world. Our world that would await us once we got back home. Our hearts already captured by her sweet giggles, that had both of us left in tears.  

My eternal love and gratefulness for Elain, never enough to show her how much I thanked her. How much I wanted to know her that she was the one and only one that had captured my heart.  

Expect for the little one cradled in our arms, but she seemed to already wrap our whole little world around her chubby finger. Cookies soft snoot nuzzling into her soft skin as she smelled her. Acknowledging our little girl already as part of her family.

Hopefully Cookie would not have the same habit as Elain’s dog so many years ago had – dragging her away by her collar as she hurried through the house with a tired Elain captured in her mouth.  

Though I guess I would not mind it. Cookie already seemed to have a problem with Feyre approaching us – which had her laughing and moving swiftly out of the door. Most likely calling Rhysand on the news.  

Declaring with a goofy grin that they became an uncle and an aunt – their family having just spread a bit wider.  As all of us sat around the Christmas tree the next week, our little Soleil finally among us, while we were all gathered in our little, perfect apartment.  

Her bussy bodies of a family gushing and aweing at the pregnancy pictures of her mother, that beamed through each of them like the sun herself.  

A proud smile never leaving her soft lips – which I found myself chasing more than often in the past week. Not able to control this sheer force of love that seemed to make me throw myself at my beloved, whenever I saw her.  

The melodyic giggle of her, accompaying me through everything life threy our way.

______________________________________________________________

So I hope you liked this one: I hope you don’t mind the use of name in this one😘 

When I wrote this I at first thought to myself ‘Shit! How do you write about a dog person?’ well it wasn’t that difficult anymore once I saw those cute little puppys. 

I am now officially cheating on my cats since the last ten days😅 

Anyway, here is your hint for tomorrow: It’s turning classy.

[spunky-89]

Broken Ship

A/N: Hi everyone! This is the first part of the Titans!Jason Todd fic. If everyone likes it I will add the second part and maybe turn it into a series... So let me know what you guys think!!

P.S. special shout out to @whatamidoing-com​ and @grandeftmarvel​ for being the ones to actually make me motivated enough to post this  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Part Two

🌊 🐦 --------------------------------------------------------------- 🐦🌊

(Y/N) was laying down on the lounge chair she had dragged to the roof a few days ago. She groaned and then added, “I don't know what to do Neeks,”

The boy standing over her rolled his eyes but indulged her. It was kind of his job as her best friend.

“What is your heart telling you?” He asked.

“That you give shitty advice,” She grumbled, hoping he was going to be more helpful. 

Nico sighed and gave her a look. “(Y/N),” he said, using that tone a mom would use to tell you not to be stupid. But since she was a sasshole, she just kept being sarcastic. So she responded by copying his tone while saying his name. And then he shoved her off the chair. She groaned again but stayed there, too deep in her own head to care.

“Seriously, what is stopping you from trying?” He asked, shaking his head at the dumb girl in front of him. He very well knew that if she really didn’t care, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. She would have broken out and headed for the ocean, disappearing before they knew she was gone. But something was stopping her. And he knew that something was the love of her life. Even if she was too stubborn to see it.

When she responded, her words were dripping in scathing sarcasm. “Oh I don't know, maybe the fact that last time we were ‘friends’, he suddenly decided we weren’t, without giving enough of a damn to let me know or to give me a reason.”

He could see the underlying hurt in her eyes. He knew how badly this had fucked her up. After all, he knew all about them before she had even told Percy. He stuck to her side while Percy and Bianca went on the rescue mission. So he saw how happy she was, and how excited she was to get back to him for Christmas. And the next time he saw her, she was a completely different person. Her eyes were colder, her cheery attitude was replaced by a facade of her former self, and most of all, she pushed everyone she was close to away, keeping them at an arm's length. All except him, who refused to accept she was this way now, wanting to keep some semblance of their friendship alive. She healed some overtime, but she was never quite the girl he had first met. The one who promised to be there for him and his sister no matter what. The one who said that he was the little brother she never wanted but loved more than her own.

Looking at her now, he could see a new look. There was that slight spark in her eyes, but it was blocked by the wall she had built so strong over the last four years. And Nico knew, the only one who could ever knock them down, was the boy trying to hide in the shadows, scared to lose his girl once more.

“It's been years, you've changed a lot since then. Maybe he has too.” He tried to gently explain. 

“Why are you pushing me about this? Just take me home and let me forget this place and the people in it.” She exclaimed, sitting up and glaring at him.

“Because I care.” He started. He knew he had to be careful with his approach or she would clam up and he would lose the opportunity to talk some sense into her. “You're my best friend and you pushed me when I was scared to give Will a shot. And look how good that turned out. I'm just returning the favor.” He said gently, squatting next to her.

She covered her face and let out a frustrated “Uuuuhhhhgggggg”

Nico laughed at how dramatic she was being. She always said Percy was the dramatic one but in this moment she easily matched him. But he did his best to calm himself fast, knowing the consequences of laughing for too long (last time he ended up in the lake, it sucked).

“Look, take the evening to decide. I'll be here at noon to get you tomorrow.” He said finally. 

“That seems unnecessary. Give me five minutes to grab my shit.” She said, her words begging him to take her away, but her eyes conflicted with a need to stay. 

Nico sighed and added, “I'm serious. He seems like he really cares.”

“Just because he's listening in doesn't mean he cares. It actually is kinda stalkerish.” (Y/N) pointed out.

Nico rolled his eyes and got up. “Well, you do you. But in my opinion, it’s stupid to sink a repairable ship.”

She gave him a glare and flipped him off as he walked into a shadow on the wall. Once Nico vanished, she got up from the floor and turned towards the door to see Jason step out of the shadows he thought he was hidden in.

“What the fuck was that?” 

She ignored him and pushed him aside to head back through the door.

“Hey! Don’t ignore me!” he said grabbing her arm in an attempt to stop her.

She yanked her arm free and growled, “Fuck off”

He chased her down the stairs back into the main floor. 

“I’m not just gonna let you leave!” He yelled as he grabbed her arm “I care about you too much to just let you walk away without trying to fix us”. 

She growled and went to punch him, but he blocked her. She started talking as she attempted to land a hit on him. 

“You don’t get to stand there and tell me you care! I know you saw me when I came looking for you and you know I saw you. I tried everything to get you to talk to me.” She landed a hit to his side and shoved him into the wall behind him. “So don’t you fucking dare tell me that you fucking care because if you did we wouldn't be having this conversation!”

He righted himself and went on the defense, not wanting to hurt the girl in front of him. He was damn glad the team was out or this would have made this confrontation worse. He steeled himself and started to argue with (Y/N). “Of course I care! Don’t ever fucking tell me I don’t. I stayed away to pro-”

“Don’t you dare feed me that bullshit!” She yelled as she threw another punch to his face, “You know I can take care of myself. So you need a better goddamn excuse if you want me to believe your FUCKING LIES!!!!!”

He caught both her hands and pushed her back to try and put distance between them, even though every cell in his body was screaming at him to hold her close. 

“I LOVE YOU DAMNIT! I KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE YOURSELF. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.” He screamed.

“YOU KNOW NOTHING! ITS BEEN 4 YEARS TODD, 4 FUCKING YEARS!” She screeched. She went at him again, her attacks were weak and half-hearted, but she needed to let out the tsunami of emotions somehow, she just chose her fists. Tears were welling in her eyes but neither knew if it was from the rage or the pain and sadness.

“I STILL KNOW YOU!” He grabbed her and shoved her against the wall, locking her in place. He knew he shouldn’t yell and scream at her, it would only make things worse. But he was never good at expressing emotion. So he continued to scream back, unwittingly telling her the thing he swore to never tell her.

“I KNOW YOU'RE STILL TERRIFIED OF HIGHTS. I KNOW YOU MOVED IN WITH YOUR MOM AND BROTHER. I KNOW YOU LEAVE TO HIT THE STREETS ALL THE TIME BECAUSE YOU STILL AREN'T ADJUSTED TO HAVING FOUR WALLS AROUND YOU. I KNOW THAT KID ON THE ROOF IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. I KNOW YOU DON'T LET PEOPLE GET CLOSE TO YOU ANYMORE! BECAUSE I NEVER STOPPED CARING, NEVER STOPPED WATCHING YOUR BACK! NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU WERE FROM ME! BECAUSE I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!!” 

A moment of silence rang through the hall. Both Jason and (Y/N) were breathing heavily, faces barely an inch apart. The tears were now streaming down her face, and his eyes had a glossy sheen that showed he wasn’t far from crying himself.

“Why?” She breathed, barely willing to break the silence with anything louder. Not moving her face an inch. Her eyes locked on his.

“I don’t know,” he breathed, loosening his grip on her so that he was barely holding onto her as he let his forehead rest against hers.

“Tell me why Jason?” She whispered, her voice cracking from the emotions. “Why did you leave me?”

Her eyes were now pouring out tears, though she didn't make a sound as she looked down and away from the boy who shattered her heart.

He moved his hands from her arms as he cupped her cheeks, wiping the tears away and pulling her face to look back at his, the pain behind her eyes breaking him. 

“I think I was scared of losing you.”

“What does that even mean?” she whimpered,

“I cared about you too much, and I felt like I was holding you back from your family.” His cheeks becoming wet as the emotions he had long buried came rushing back. “In my head either you would leave me for them, or you would stay and grow to resent me for keeping you away from them.”

“Oh Jason,” She whispered, lips quivering as her tears never stopped flowing. He looked so broken and she had no idea what to say. It crushed her to find out that he left for her sake. She wasn’t good with words, neither was he. It was something they had bonded over, being able to convey emotions with actions and body language, no words needed. So she decided to go back to that.

She put her hands around his neck, one hand went into his hair, and the other pulled his neck closer to her as she kissed him. The tears were still streaming down their faces, but no words needed to be said. Everything was laid bare in that kiss. The love, the loss, the regrets, the apologies. Jason’s hands shifted as one landed on her waist to pull her closer and the other slid to the back of her head. As he did so she let out a small gasp which he used to slowly slip his tongue in her mouth. They had kissed once before when they were younger. It was the night before she left, neither knowing it was going to be the last they saw of one another for years. That first kiss felt right, but this kiss, it felt like they had found their home, that all was finally right in their worlds.

It could have been seconds or hours they stood there, but neither wanted to leave the other’s embrace. They had to breathe eventually, but when they pulled back it wasn’t far. Her eyes stayed closed as their foreheads rested against each other.

“Stay,” Jason breathed. The warm breath spread over her and she wanted to crumble in his arms.

With her eyes still closed she sighed and stayed quiet for a moment. “I can’t,” She whispered, fresh tears flowing. His grip on her tightened slightly as she spoke those words. 

“Why not?” He asked, his voice showing his hurt, “After-after everything we’ve been through, the memories we’ve tried and failed to forget, this moment...Why?”

A small sob left her lips as she pulled and turned away from him. But he didn’t let her get far. She had made it no more than two steps when he grabbed her arm again, and this time his grip was iron-like. She could have broken free, but she didn’t have the strength or the will to fight him. She did, however, continue to avoid his gaze as she cried, never answering his question.

“Tell me why?” he asked again, his voice had a bit more strength and bite behind it. He placed his hand on her cheek and turned her face towards him, where he could see the pain and anguish behind her eyes.

“Because I can’t, I-I have responsibilities and a new family...I-I can’t just leave them.” She said, her voice soft and her eyes looked down while she spoke, only looking up for a second when she had finished. Jason knew why she wouldn’t look at him, she knew he’d know she was lying. But he still noticed anyway. 

“Look me in the eye and say you don’t want this-us and I’ll let you walk away and I won’t bother you again. But if not, I will fight every day to get you back.” He spoke, his words rang with pain and confidence. Her lips wobbled as she looked into his eyes. “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll let you leave right now.” His voice came out shaky as he took in the depth of her eyes, the emotions swirling as her face showed her inner conflict. She opened and closed her mouth at least half a dozen times before she whimpered and looked down again.

“I can’t,” 

“Then stay, please. I need you.” Jason begged.

She shook her head but made no move to leave his arms again. There were a few tense moments of stillness and silence before she moved. She lunged at him and buried her head in his shirt, her head resting right where his heart was.

“I can’t get my heart shattered again Jason, I can’t. I barely made it through last time. I’m not strong enough to withstand it again.” She spoke through her tears.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise,” He spoke softly as he pulled her closer and gripped her in a bear hug. “I fucked up majorly but please, just-just give me another chance.” 

She pulled her head from his chest and opened her mouth to argue but he didn’t let her. He placed one hand on her cheek and said, “I’ll do better, I won’t pull any more shit like that because having you here the last few days reminded me of how much it hurts every day to not see your face, even when it’s filled with rage and contempt.”

He could see the emotions flashing across her face as she tried to make heads or tails of her thoughts. She looked him in the eye, trying to read him. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t seen each other in four years, she could still read him like an open book. She looked into his eyes and saw the same look she saw every day in the mirror, the pain of losing your best friend and the sincere hardness of a promise. Her heart was ready to beat out of her chest and she knew right then, she would never leave him or let him leave her ever again. She reached up and pulled his lips back to hers. No hesitancy as she did so. Their lips stayed locked as he slowly backed her into the wall again but this time it wasn’t aggressive, no, this was driven by something else entirely. 

There was desperation in the kiss this time. They both were grabbing at each other, trying to be close as possible. Jason grabbed her and lifted her into his arms. She was so shocked that he had the strength to do that. But then she remembered they weren’t kids anymore. They were both older and (slightly) more mature.

She barely realized she had wrapped her legs around him. The movement was so unconscious, but like with everything with Jason, her body and his worked in tandem. Her unknowing may have also been due to the fact that she was far too distracted by his tongue wrapping around hers as he explored her mouth. They broke for air and she stared at him, the muscles in his arms bulging as he held her against the wall. She now felt his one hand clutching her thigh and she took a shuttered breath as she felt him pressed completely into her, not a single gap between their bodies. She wasn’t sure what to do but when she looked into Jason’s eyes, she knew. He had his stupidly sexy smirk plastered on his face as she was taking him in, his eyes a few shades darker than usual. She wasn’t alone in this examination as he was taking her in and undressing her with his eyes. It was a look she usually hated, but coming from him, her breath hitched just a bit. 

Right then and there, gazing into his eyes, she fell in love with him all over again. She saw her world in those eyes, her future. She wasn’t the romantic type, but at this moment, she would happily go through all the trauma and nightmares she’d dealt with again just to stay in that moment forever.

[queenitn]

So...I just found something that I'd written one night at like 4am a month into lockdown.

It's pretty much a very unnecessarily angry rant.

I can probably contradict half the stuff I say in it myself. It's just...kinda rude in places and when I'm thinking straight there's some parts I don't really agree with myself. It's not aimed at anybody and I'm definitely a hypocrite but I'm gonna post it anyways so go wild I guess.

So I recently took a stroll through Stucky fanfiction on ao3. For a while there I'd been avoiding it, and I'd nearly convinced myself that my mind was exaggerating the whole bottom!Bucky/top!Steve thing but yeah, I'm not.

Normally, I'd say who tops or bottoms doesn't matter. It's pretty irrelevant. But... since the majority of the fanfictions clearly prefer to write bottom!Bucky, obviously, there is some significance. Wouldn't the proportion be more equal if it truly was irrelevant?

Besides being annoying as fuck, it's also pretty interesting I guess. I have nothing else to do so I'm going to be ranting about a lot of stuff.

So, I mostly try to look for bottom!Steve, right? Because that's what I like. I read a bottom!Steve fic, then I say, "Hmm, this author seems to like bottom!Steve, maybe they've written more?" I go check, and I find...mostly bottom!Bucky, with maybe one or two more bottom!Steve.

It's fine the first few times, but after a while it's honestly weird. Clearly, a lot of very good authors have no problem writing bottom!Steve. They just happen to write more bottom!Bucky. As far as I can tell, that's pretty much the common trend. But why? What exactly does one think while starting a new fic, going all, "Hmm...I think...this time.... we're gonna have bottom!Bucky again." Again and again and again until it's most times.

Why is bottom!Steve so fetishized? I don't mean the fics that actually have a dom/sub element. I mean just pure bottom!Steve itself. Why does it have to be some sort of rarity?

As far as I know, there's...really nothing in canon indicating who would likely top or bottom. (I mean yeah, I do believe that canon Bucky is more likely to want to dom than canon Steve, but that's different.)

So, what is it?

Sure, Steve is taller, has a deeper voice, more muscle, a beard....but those are just physical things. They don't actually have anything to do with taking or giving.

Besides, he used to be small before. Is that what this is about? Previously tiny man likes to be in control? Likes to...what? Prove he's a manlier man? Bullshit. Besides the fact that it's bullshit, it also doesn't seem to fit with canon Steve.

The "Sometimes I think you like getting punched" and the "And you've got nothing to prove" make me think that his proving himself had less to do with showing his dominance and more to do with showing his endurance. I'd say bottoming is exactly what he'd want to do.

Besides, wasn't that exactly what made his relationship with Bucky special? The fact that he didn't have to "prove himself" in any way? Bucky already knew his worth.

Is it because Steve likes to give orders? Some sort of "Oh, this guy was always meant to be the leader"? Well, there's a huge difference between being a leader, giving orders in a battlefield...and giving orders in the bedroom. And I'm pretty sure top/bottom preferences would be completely unrelated to who's the boss at work.

But nevermind that, as far as I can tell, sure Steve gives orders, but he also looks to the people he trusts for guidance. The best example is Nat. The thing that makes their friendship so goddamm precious is partly in the way he always glances at her for confirmation before making a decision. Isn't Bucky sort of like an Ultimate Nat with sex benefits?

Nevermind that too. Steve bossing people around is great, but that's not the point, is it? The point is does he enjoy it? I think, the only movie where he did look like he relished his power was TFA. I'm pretty confident that's because of the novelty of his new strength partially, and partially also because of the rush caused by his back to back successes. Why? Because he never seems to take that kind of enjoyment again. As opposed to...maybe Sam? The guy who gets his literal wings back after (presumably) years and lets out a whoop after being chased by the missile thingies. Sam's joy doesn't wear off. Steve's does.

Is it just me, or has this skew towards bottom!Bucky actually increased over the years? Why? I can say a few things on this.

First, maybe people need to remember a bit more that Sebastian Stan is not Bucky Barnes. Chris Evans is not Steve Rogers. And Steve Rogers is not Captain America.

No matter what you think about the actors, the characters they play are separate. Please.

Second, there is a very interesting theory that exists which says that the reason why Bucky is so popular in the fandom is because his character arc is relatable to women and the queer community in the fact that it's about him regaining his stolen agency. Which is true.

Does this have anything to do with him bottoming though? I mean, I don't know. Fanfictions are important because they allow us to explore ourselves, whether it's our sexuality or our trauma that we're trying to figure out. In that way, it makes sense that maybe we will tend to write Bucky as a bottom more often. Except no.

Partly because, having had bad experiences at a young age myself, and being queer myself, I do not relate to Bucky. And hypothetically speaking, I would totally bottom for Peggy or Bucky, but I would rail the absolute shit out of Steve. I canNOT be the only one.

Partly also because yeah, a lot of fanfiction is projection, which is good for the soul, both yours and mine, but not to the point where we create a fanon version of the character completely different from the canon one. Yeah, you could say that canon doesn't really give us much of a character, but clearly they give us something and we have to build up on that right? It's true for both Bucky and Steve. Bucky barely has lines, but his actions speak enough. There's an absolutely breathtaking character waiting for you in canon if you really want to look. As for Steve, let me just say, sass and the tiniest little hints of PTSD do not make a whole character. Marvel fucked it up, but this goes for the fandom too (this is keeping in mind that Steve technically has three movies dedicated to him and Bucky doesn't)

Stop treating Steve like your personal punching bag, Stucky fandom.

It does happen, if we project our bad experiences on Bucky, Steve often naturally fills the role of the clueless/mildly asshole-ish love interest. Not too much of an asshole though, clearly you love him.

That's fine. Fanfiction is about self expression, but should we lose sight of the canon characters that we loved so much in the first place? And isn't fanfiction just as much about exploring those characters, as objectively as we possibly can?

Another thing related to that...why do we only have to identify with one character? I don't know how to put this, but there's a thing called halo effect and I think that's kind of what happens (I'm not a psychologist).

You see something in Bucky. And then you start to attribute more and more things to him that may or may not actually exist. Like yeah, he's fullfilling the traditional love interest role in Steve's movies, but that doesn't automatically mean he's a bottom. The two things are... actually entirely unrelated. They're only related in your mind. And similar to that, when we see one thing in a character that we identify with, we kind of want to see even more things in them we identify with, but it doesn't have to be like that. That's not how any person works, and it's not how any fully developed character works. You can relate to both the characters in different ways, no need to dump it all in one.

Ok, another thing, that I don't like to think about but it's occured to me and I don't like it. So, Steve is generally coded as a bisexual, right? And Bucky is coded as gay. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and think about whether you're unconsciously assuming that the bi guy isn't going to want to bottom. I'm a bisexual woman, I will top Steve. I kind of resent this.

Going off on another tangent, I have also delved into Stony on my quest for bottom!Steve. Pretty sure there's even less of that there. Why??? That's crazy.

Normally, I'm pretty sure Tony would be coded as the top. He's much older, richer. He clearly has control issues. That's one of his defining features. Control. (I don't mean that in a bad way.) So....what exactly do Bucky and Tony have in common besides dark hair and short hight? The only thing I could come up with was thotiness. They're both shown as Thots. Is that it? The Thot Bottoms? Ok.

Is it the whole energy thing? "Bucky has bottom energy"? Does he? Can you argue with me if I say that TFA Steve has bratty bottom energy? That TFA Bucky goes from service top energy to mean top energy? Pretty sure that's subjective. But what exactly are we seeing differently here? I'm honestly asking.

Bucky's character is ridiculously strong, stronger than Steve in some ways (besides probably physically). Specifically, it's because of his ability to not only survive, but heal. Can we acknowledge how crazy that is? He's just fucking buying plums, but that's still more than we've ever seen Steve do. You can say his trauma is greater, but it looks like his coping ability is greater too. So is that what this is? Steve doesn't cope. Instead he focuses on external things like being Cap, Hydra, Bucky. I wouldn't call that a healthy way of living...but it's romantic, right? Neglecting to take care of yourself? No, actually avoiding taking care of yourself by focusing entirely on another person? Is that it? We're romanticizing unhealthy behaviour?

Is it because you feel more for Bucky, wearing his hurt on his sleave, versus Steve who wears it hidden under his skin?

Am I allowed to believe that Steve's ultimate shield isn't the vibranium one, but Captain America himself?

That's just me getting off track and mildly pissy but the point stands. We like seeing Steve in control. He wears it well. He's good at it. But that's just not that relevant. You don't just boss poeple around in the bedroom because you're good at it, you have to want it too. Would he want it? Is a commanding voice really an indicator of a person's desire to command? Can we really say because he's usually the one giving orders (because that's his actual job), that he likes it too? Does he look like he especially likes it? No.

I've been around fandoms long enough to know that all fandoms always have a preference regarding who ultimately tops or bottoms. This isn't the first time it's bugged me, but it feels more this time because I just don't see it. And it makes me angry because it contradicts what I feel, are the best parts of the characters. No, Bucky bottoming isn't the contradiction..but all this that I wrote, the connotations of this kind of coding, the underlying thoughts.... some of it is just not nice, but some of it opposes the little things that humanize these characters. It wouldn't matter, except that it wouldn't have happened at all if it didn't matter.

It's not just what happens to them in canon that matters so much. It's also what they choose to do for themselves when they have the chance. It feels like they made their choices and half the fandom ignored it. "Nah man, you'll look better at the bottom. Look at that hair."

Because ultimately, that's what it feels like to me. A mixture of not thinking too much about it (though I know this post probably counts as overthinking), some wierd internalised heteronormativity, and I don't know what just kind of fucks with all of us. All I know is that I hate it. I hate it.

It's not the bottom!Bucky I hate, it's the underlying, unthinking assumptions. The way it's a foregone conclusion. It's not. I really just want to be able to read the goddamn fanfictions again without wanting to tear my skin off.

( You can help by giving reccs)

[dollsorwhatever]

Doll hair tips: heat styling

It’s been a long time since I’ve made a dedicated post for doll hair styling, and my methods/product recs have changed quite a bit so I figured I’d provide another one! I’ve been using my current methods for several years now, so I can confidently recommend all of them!

I’ve been styling doll hair since I was in...well idk elementary school, and while I’m probably not the BEST out there, I know what I’m doing and I hope my experiences will help some people because I’m incredibly passionate about doll hair lol.  This is what works for me, doesn’t mean it’s the end-all-be-all of doll styling!  I get asked pretty often and rather than making a new post every time, I figured I’d make something more permanent that I can link to. <3 Let’s start with heat styling! I’ll make a post about products and tools as well, one about curls, and one about bangs because this post is already massive.  Some of this information will probably be really obvious to some of you but hey...you can never be too thorough lol.

I style all of my dolls with a flat iron. I know this is scary for some people because a lot of us were told that a flat iron would DEFINITELY melt the hair, but it’s honestly my favorite method and provides the best results by a landslide! Boilwashing is great and is definitely a good start, but if you’re a perfectionist like me, you’ll notice that it doesn’t always give the best results possible and for that reason, I only boil for a couple of reasons, and it’s always just a step in the styling process: - Boiling is great for flattening down the hair on a doll’s head, for example if some of the plugs are sticking up from an updo, or if you just finished a reroot and need the hair to lay flat.  -It’s great for curling hair with rollers, or braiding the hair and boiling it to give a wave -It’s a good finishing step for kanekalon hair, and  -it’s good if you want straighter hair quickly, or if you’re just straightening out the kinks after you unbox a doll.  I use boiling water for those kinds of things, but in all scenarios, a flat iron provides the most control and gives the best result. Some tips about boiling if this is what you want to do: -Wash the hair first. -Comb from tip-to-root to prevent snags, and detangle the hair prior to straightening.  -Don’t dip the hair and swish it around too much, because it won’t do a whole lot; the hair is suspended in the water and therefore will have nothing to weigh it down and straighten it. You want to dip it in, pull it out and comb it into the shape you want, or pour it over the head and do the same. Repeat until you reach the desired texture.  -The positioning of the hair is EVERYTHING, because once it cools down, that’s how it will dry. I recommend combing it while it’s still hot, and place the parting how you’d like it to stay primarily. Don’t dip her in upside down, this will disrupt and potentially unthatch the parting, which leads to messed up layers and bald spots. -Be mindful of the parting. Don’t comb out the parting or disrupt the thatching, it’ll mess with the layers and reveal bald spots underneath.  -If the doll has particularly long hair, I would separate it, using the parting as a guide and boil one half at a time, then do a finishing pour over her hair once you’re done.  -If you’re boiling wavy hair and want to maintain some of it’s original texture, don’t boil it or comb it too much and while it’s still hot, scrunch it up with your hands and then twist it in the direction the curl naturally goes, then rinse it with cold water to set the wave.  -If you are boiling kanekalon, be very very diligent about how the hair lays. This hair is very heat sensitive and will take to whatever shape it’s laying against- for example, if you’re boiling a synthetic mohair wig, it’ll form to the shape of the wefts underneath. I recommend using almost-near-boiling water for kanekalon for this reason, and I recommend combing it with a flea comb (from tip to root) and boiling in sections to prevent it from getting any weird shapes when it dries or getting snagged in the comb. Flat ironing

Note: every temperature listed is in FAHRENHEIT. 

I’ve used several flat irons for dolls since I was in middle school, but my top choice for almost a decade has been this ION Titanium Flat iron for several reasons: -It has a digital heat setting with settings that go all the way from 160 degrees and up to 450, so I can style any hair type with it efficiently. -it regulates it’s temperature and won’t get hotter the longer it’s on, so there’s no need to shut it off to cool down while you’re styling.  -The barrel is small, making it perfect for adding wave to a section of hair (and even curling kanekalon!).  The listing says it starts at 180 but it definitely starts at 160, which is a good, mild temperature to start at if you’re new to doll hair.  I’m sure there are other options, but all flat irons are different and this is the only one I recommend despite the price tag, and every person that’s gotten it on my recommendation has loved it.  I recommend trying on a few bait dolls of different hair types so that you can practice before starting with a doll that you love. When I flat iron a new doll, I always start by washing the hair with a clarifying shampoo (that 2$ Suave one is my favorite) and conditioning. My favorite conditioners are Suave Sleek and Shine and Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine. The Suave is more mild and is best for hair that doesn’t need a lot of work (or if it’s curly and you don’t want to weigh the hair down), while the Garnier is very thick and heavy, which I prefer when I start out styling a doll, then after I’m done, if I feel it’s too heavy, I’ll wash it again with the Suave conditioner.  I start flat ironing while the hair is damp- you might want to lay a towel under the doll if you’re holding her between your legs because there have been several times where hot water came down and burned my thighs lol. Don’t be me.

The hair does not HAVE to be damp to be flat ironed at the right temperature, it just provides a little more control and is helpful on especially unruly hair. If the hair is at risk of melting without being damp, your flat iron is too hot.

I work in sections, going by each row of plugs, from the very bottom and all the way to the top row! This is most efficient for me because I hold the sections up with clips, and I’ll have to go through and re-do the top sections if they get bent by the hair clips.  I’ll straighten until the hair is completely dry usually, and if I feel I need to keep flat ironing I will spritz the hair with water and do it again. I straighten one section multiple times until I get the desired texture, and if the hair is wavy (or if I want to give it a wave), I’ll curl it under with my fingers while it’s still hot, and keep repeating until I get the shape I want. Make sure to go in the direction the wave naturally goes, otherwise it’ll unravel and go flat! Most doll hair will curl in one direction all around, and it’s difficult to train it to go another way and it never looks as nice.  My favorite tools for flat ironing are a flea comb, a toothbrush and a regular rattail comb or a two sided comb with varying widths on each side! Depending on the level of frizz or level of straightness I need, I’ll use one of those tools, both combing while the hair is still hot, to organize sections and as a comb-chase. Now onto the hair types: Saran is the most common hair type and imo the best of them all- it can tolerate temperatures anywhere from 160 degrees and all the way up to 230 degrees (sometimes higher but if you’re a beginner, I would err on the side of caution). I always start low and go up depending on how the hair is reacting.  Nylon (Used on most MGA dolls circa 2018-present,  some Disney Store dolls, Just Play dolls and some hasbro dolls) is the second-most-common and it’s the strongest of the hair types- I typically start at 200 with this hair type which is usually sufficient, but sometimes I’ll go higher if the hair is unruly or has a really difficult texture like the crimps on my LE 17′‘ Ariel doll; I went up to 400 with her and it never melted, actually I don’t think I’ve EVER melted nylon no matter how hight the temperature.  Polypropylene ( this is the ‘bad nylon’- commonly used on dollar store dolls, various Mattel dolls from 2016-onward. MGA dolls from 2008-2012, it’s on a lot of the current MLP dolls and DS dolls) Is the third-most-common hair type and in between Saran and Nylon with temperature. This hair is best flat ironed at 200-250 degrees, anything over 250 usually makes it frizz up in my experience. This hair sucks regardless tho so I’d recommend a reroot lol.  Doll grade kanekalon (otherwise known as synthetic mohair) is very common on 80′s-90′s Barbies and Liv dolls but has since been discontinued for playline requires the lowest temperature, as it’s very heat sensitive and easy to style. I never go above 200 with this because it’s just not needed. You can also curl kanekalon with a flat iron! This doesn’t need much of an explanation, there are plenty of tutorials for this online with human hair and it’s basically the same method- curve the flat iron while the hair is passing through it, all the way until the ends come out- poof! Curl! This does take some practicing but once you get the hang of it, it’s pretty fun.  Once you’re done ironing, I recommend washing the hair again, combing it into place and putting the doll on a stand to dry. 

[sebastiansmythejoie]

Wicked Games. 

Friday November 8th. 

Sebastian comes to @jackbeiste to confront his feelings for the younger man.

Sebastian

Sebastian had been feeling pain all week since his revelations after the Halloween Carnival. He understood now what Jack meant when he asked if Sebastian cared at all, or what he meant to Sebastian. In truth Jack meant everything to Sebastian. Almost two weeks without the boy beside him and Sebastian felt like he would die. There was a pain in his stomach the likes of which he had never felt before and he had barely been able to concentrate in class or in his extra curricular; which had caused him to fail to pay attention during sparing in fencing one too many times. So here Seb was feeling sick and ashamed outside Jacks' dorm, trying to build the courage to knock, eventually squeezing his eyes shut and rapping the door far more gently than would be expected from a man who was so desperate to see the boy on the other side of the door.

Jack

The last two weeks had been... rough. Especially the first week. He hadn't really gotten much done, and he had preferred to just stay in his dorm when possible. He hadn't even gone to the Halloween celebration, instead curled up in his room, only failing to put on a new movie when he fell asleep to one. It'd been a little easier this week, with Katherine. She was nice, even if she reminded him too much of his brother. And the thought of him made his stomach clench, a lump on his throat. He wasn't sure what was worse, how much he missed Sebastian or how stupid he felt for missing him. But he had finally gotten back somewhat on track, no longer in bed; sitting at his desk with one of his figures, the The Return of the King soundtrack playing soothingly in the background. But he still heard the knock, and sighed softly - he was just about to paint the sword. Putting the brush down, he walked over to his door, opening it as he wondered who the hell it could be. He hoped Gabe and Myles were both okay. And that Katherine hadn't rejected Valerian, but Val didn't know where he lived, did he? The sight of Sebastian caught him off guard, and he just looked at him. His eyes went wide at the look at him, he had clearly been punched... not recently but there were still faint tells. "Who...? Are you...?" Jack tried before he could stop himself, trailing off as he felt his body tense up. "What do you wo... want?"(edited)

Sebastian

The sight of Jack in front of him tightened Sebastian's insides. Finally seeing him again was a a relief yet completely terrifying. Bas had no idea what to do or say but seeing Jacks' face and body was trying to get him hard and distracted. No concentrate He screamed at his subconscious. He knew he had to tell Jack what he was feeling but years of repressing emotions left him unsure how to put into words what he was feeling, never mind the fact he had just barely figured out what it was never mind explaining it. "Oh this?" He responded quietly, pointing at his still off colour nose. "Schuyler." He shrugged, not really wanting to talk about that. "I wanted to see you... to apologise."  He whispered, suddenly feeling so very small.

Jack

Jack frowned at that, but couldn't say he was surprised. Schuyler was moody, and Sebastian probably didn't change that as much as make it worse... for whatever reason. "I...," he was quiet foe what felt like at least a full minute before taking a step to the side, letting Sebastian inside before closing the door. He walked over to sit by his desk again, suddenly not able to look at Sebastian, wrappjng his arms around himself. The only reason he let him inside was because this was so different. Sebastian hadn't just come over, he'd asked to apologise. And that look in his eyes... Jack couldn't send him away, because after everything, his instinct was still to hug Sebastian, and make him feel okay.

Sebastian

Sebastian hovered just inside the doorway, surprised but thankful Jack had allowed him inside. Bas knew his need to apologise was partially selfish, his is inability to function without Jack was high on the list of reasons he was her. But Bas also knew he wanted to make it right; he didn't want Jack believing he didn't care because Jack was worth so much more than that; he was a person that should be cared for by everyone in his eyes. Sebastian walked closer to Jack, sitting cautiously on the corner of his bed so he was within touching distance of the younger man but fighting to keep his hands to himself; he knew this wasn't the time. "I wanted to apologise for the way I acted, for the way I talked to you." He began the words that had been chasing around his head for days but he hadn't been brave enough to say. "I said you were stupid, you're not stupid." Seb hung his head; too ashamed to look at Jack.

Jack

Jack couldn't look at him, for so many reasons; but felt a bit relieved when he finally sat down. He had almost expected him to turn around and leave again. He stared at his feet, especially the left one; not only was it yellow instead of blue like the other one, but it had a hole in it, enough for most of his big toe to poke out. That one probably needed to go, he thought, without ever tuning out Sebastian. But the last time made him look up at the other man, the tears welling up in his eyes. He let out a shaky sigh, uncertain where to start even though he had let himself daydream about what he would say if he could. "There is nou.. nothing more to it. That's what you said," he said quietly. "Is that.. still how, how you feel?"

Sebastian

Seb bit his lip watching Jack watching his feet. He couldn’t read Jack right now and it was killing him. After what felt like forever Jack spoke and the tears welling in his eye were clear. Seb felt like he was going to throw up. He couldn’t stop himself reach out and grab Jacks hand, holding it tightly. He still couldn’t meet the younger mans eyes but he scoured his face and body. “No.” Bas said firmly. “I-“ he took a deep breath finally looking jack in the eye knowing the other boy deserved to see the pain in his eyes; to see how Seb truly felt no matter how terrified Seb was of showing it. “These last two weeks I’ve not been able to function without you. I’ve been lost without you. I haven’t been able to smile without you.” He continued quietly; Sebastian smythe wasn’t one to bare his soul to anyone but that was what Jack did to him, he tore Sebastian open and now he couldn’t stuff this all back inside. “I’ve never felt anything like this before, I’ve never felt anything before. I was trained by my father to push it all down, especially for men but this I can’t push away anymore, especially because it hurt you, I don’t want to hurt you.” Seb whispered barely audible in his own ears above the ferocity of his heartbeats. Kat was the only one who knew how much their father tried to keep Sebastian from feeling but now here he was letting jack see parts of him they nobody else ever had and it was terrifying.

Jack

Jack just looked at him, not quite sure if he was tuning out Sebastian and replacing his words with things similar to what Jack wanted him to say. But that look in his eyes.. he'd only seen a glimpse of that honesty, but never that rawness. It wasn't only Sebastian's actual words, but he just... it was so different from the usual Sebastian. This was honest. He couldn't help but sob, finally letting out what he hadn't been able to quite let himself feel - despite more than a few tears over the last two weeks - as well as a deep sense of relief, and affection to the Sebastian who was opening up to him like this. "You really h... hurt me," he said quietly, wiping away the salty tears as they kept coming. "Please don't hurt me again."(edited)

Sebastian

Jacks tears made Sebastian’s insides ache. He moved from the bed and kneeled in-front of Jack, their difference in hight meaning Seb only had to stretch a little to place a soft kiss on the younger mans lips. The taste the salty tears spilling from Jacks eyes was sharp like a stab to the heart but the feeling of his lips was like coming home. “I didn’t know what I was doing- what I was saying- I didn’t know what I felt- I still don’t know how to do this- how to feel-“ His words were stuttered in half complete sentences, not at all his usual elegance, but that what Jack did to him, jack broke down all the things Seb was ‘supposed’ to be and left him open and raw. “I never want to hurt you again, unless you ask for it” Seb couldn’t help the inappropriate joke, it was so much a part of who he was, he laughed at his own inability to control himself, hoping he hadn’t ruined everything. But jack liked him right? Even with his ridiculousness?

Jack

Jack kissed back softly, his eyes closing as he took in the sweet yet slightly bitter taste of Sebastian's lips. He laughed quietly at his joke, still crying but not so much out of sadness as out of relief. It had been empty without Sebastian. It really had been. Even more than he had expected. He had assumed that that night was going to be the next step in taking it further, but the truth was, they already had, subtly, somewhere along the way. He didn't have to start falling in love because he was already there. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian, kissing him again, this time hard, yet loving. He wanted to say that it was okay. It was okay not to know. They would figure it out. Together. He was still hurt, a bit afraid that Sebastian would regret this, or say more than he could actually keep to. But they had time. Right now, he just wanted to be close, his body against his, his lips on his.(edited)

Sebastian

"I don't want you to see anyone else." He whispered. Finally admitting out loud what he had been thinking. Sebastian allowed himself to get lost in Jacks next kiss. Letting the feeling wash over him. Being this close to Jack made him feel joy and peace like nothing else; not even the finest bourbon or best game of lacrosse or even losing himself in a book. Nothing was like this. "I want you to be mine." Seb groaned against Jacks lips.

Jack

Smiling into the kiss, he nodded, accidentally bumping his forehead against Sebastian's. It made him giggle, and his fingers ran into the other man's hair - oh, how he had missed that . "You won't... see anyone else either, right?" he asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure he could bear it. Sebastian with someone else.

Sebastian

"Dork" Seb chuckled, seeing Jack laughing again made his whole body feel light as a feather. He put his hands on Jacks waist and pulled him up to stand; their bodies pressed together. "I wont." He whispered in Jacks' ear, nibbling on the lobe, breath ghosting down Jacks' neck.

Jack

He let out a small noise at that, Sebastian's breath in his ear sending a buzz to his body. "Good," he murmured, tilting his head to allow him more access. He felt a little hesitant about this, but somehow he trusted that this was more than just getting Jack to take his pants off agIn... even though he really wanted to get them off, or more importantly Sebastian's pants.

Sebastian

"I only want you." Sebastian panted, feeling his pulse thrumming. He was drunk on Jack; a kind of ecstasy that was more than he had ever felt the few and far between times he had tried anything more than marijuana, alcohol or cigarettes. It was the best he could remember feeling in his life. "Mine" Sebastian growled against Jacks lips, he was panting hard from their kiss needing to come up for air but not wanting to lose the contact. He scrabbled with Jack's clothes, fumbling with his pants button and zipper without any of his usual elegance or grace; this was raw.

Jack

Sebastian's words sent a buzz through his body, warm and tingling. It was the kind of thing he'd barely even allowed himself to imagine Sebastian would say, and yet here he was. The growled 'Mine' sent a buzz too, but it went straight to his groin, and he broke the kiss to allow them both to breathe and to pull his pants off, stepping out of them but stumbling, falling back onto the bed. He just let out a breathy laugh, hands reaching out to pull Sebastian close by the waistband of his pants, fingers fumbling with the buttons. God, he wanted him so bad. But not like when he was so god damn horny that he would let Sebastian do anything to him as long as it felt good. No, this was... he just wanted to feel Sebastian's naked body against his own. He wanted to make him make those moans that didn't just turn him on, but always filled him with such warm affection too.

Sebastian

Sebastian couldn't keep his eyes off Jack as the other boy stripped his pants and oh god dragged Seb on top of him. Oh how Sebastian had missed those noises in just two weeks. Seb quickly removed his own pants and boxers in one swift move before straddling Jack, leaning in to kiss him hard and messy, not holding back, not even trying to keep restraint. Seb just wanted to feel all of Jack and let Jack see he meant what he said. This was the only way Seb knew how to translate his feelings so he gave himself over to all of it.

Jack

God, he tasted so good; Jack couldn't stop kissing him harder and harder, his dick straining against the boxers he had neglected to take off. He reached a hand down to run his thumb over the slit of Sebastian's cock, sighing contently. It was ridiculous that he could've miss a /dick/ that much.

Sebastian

Sebastian felt almost light headed with how hard Jack was kissing him. His head fell back, feeling Jack hard through his underwear. He reached down moving so he could pull them off and discarded them over the edge of the bed. Being with Jack like this felt like coming home. Seb rolled over so he way laying beside Jack and began mouthing at his neck, licking and nibbling and just letting his senses be surrounded. He needed this; to feel and to know every part of Jack.

Jack

Jack tilted his head to allow him more access, moaning softly, his fingers running through Sebastian's hair. He loved the feeling of the other's lips on him, so soft no matter how hard he'd kiss. He pulled himself close, rutting his erection against Sebastian's, enjoying the way they felt against each other. And he let out a happy whimper as he realised that this was going to be his normal now.

Sebastian

Seb groaned, enjoying the way Jack was taking control of what he wanted and right now it seemed that was their cocks rutting against one another and Sebastian was happy to oblige. Being close to Jack was all he cared about right now but he wanted more, he wanted to be closer, he wanted to be inside him. Seb reached down and began stroking Jack's erection, wanting him distracted so he could prep him.

Jack

He whimpered, bucking his hips into Sebastian's hand. He hadn't slept with someone since that disastrous night with Valerian; and jerking off wasn't quite the same. "Bas...," he moaned softly, thrusting into his hand. Even just his hand was bliss.(edited)

Sebastian

That trademark grin was back on Sebastian's face, he loved how Jack was never ashamed to show how much he was enjoying the things they did in bed together. "I'm going to fuck you and make you mine." Bas growled, he was feeling so possessive over Jack, especially now their feelings were starting to come out into the open. He didn't ever want to have to think about Jack with anyone else again and he wanted Jack to know that.

Jack

Jack shivered hotly at that, enjoying this possessive side of him. He'd seen some of it during that threesome... was that why he'd been so weird that night? The thought made him stop, but as he smiled at the thought of Sebastian being jealous about him and Valerian. There was no reason for the other man to be jealous, but it didn't make it less hot. "Yes... want you.. in me"

Sebastian

Seb scowled when Jack stopped for a moment, breaking the spell but not lessening how desperate he was feeling, "What's wrong?" Bas panted. Restraining himself from just fucking Jack in that instant.

Jack

Jack blushed slightly as the other man noticed his slight pause. "You were... jealous? With Val?" He asked, pressing a kiss to Sebastian's cheek before rolling over to grab the lube from his nightstand. He hesitated before turning to his.. his boyfriend. It still felt surreal, and it sent a warm buzz through his body. He handed Sebastian the bottle of lube, resting his head back against the pillows. Pulling the other man close, he kissed him hotly. Sebastian was good with his fingers, and he could feel his thighs ache with anticipation. He wasn't bad at pleasuring himself at this point, but he never managed to get the angle that sent electric shivers through him with each thrust. Not like Sebastian.(edited

Sebastian

"Fuck" Seb groaned "You're mine." He couldn't stand the thought of Jack with Val now even though it was in the past, he remembered the way his insides burned watching Val touch Jack. That was the start of all of these feelings; know Jack was more than just another fuck. He still couldn't bring himself to answer that question fully and quickly turned his attention back to the event at hand. Seb allowed himself to be consumed by Jack's kiss as he followed the clear instructions to spread lube over his fingers and began to tease his index finger around Jack's hole. Seb lightly ran his finger up and down the others' crack until he himself couldn't stand it anymore and slowly pushed a the first finger inside. How good it felt to be touching Jack again with the promise of never having to stop.

Jack

"Yours," Jack murmured against his lips, unable to hold back a smile even as he kissed him hungrily. He let out a soft sigh as he felt Sebastian's finger against his asshole, followed by a shaky gasp as the other finally pushed his finger into him. Kissing him harder, he let his fingers run through Sebastian's hair, knowing he would need something to hold on to.

Sebastian

Hearing Jack say that word brought such warmth to Sebastian. He was only just begining to understand what it meant to have feelings for someone and having Jack here was bringing him such peace. Seb allowed Jack to control their kisses and responded with passion. Gently Seb worked Jack open; taking care to let him adjust despite how desperate he was to be inside Jack. Once he had three fingers inside Jack, pumping them rhythmically, twisting and turning to seek out that sweet spot, Seb sat back on his heals and stroked himself roughly, getting himself ready to apply a condom and lube.

Jack

Jack rocked back against Sebastian's hand, deepening the kiss as the other man continued to finger him. God, it felt so good. He loved those fingers. "Se-Seb..." he moaned against his lips, not able to focus on the kiss as the third finger entered him. His fingers tugged on Sebastian's hair as he let out soft noises, a shaky gasp slipping his lips as he briefly opened his eyes to see the brunette stroke himself. It was such a hot sight, his cock throbbing. Some time he just wanted to watch Sebastian do that. Fuck, he really had to.

Sebastian

The sound of Jack moaning his name was almost enough to make Sebastian come there and then. He let Jack tug his hair; having the other so desperate made him needier, the little spark of pain from the tugging lit him on fire. Seb winked seeing Jack watching the movements of his hand on his own dick. He drew out prepping himself with the lube longer than was necessary just to tease Jack a little more but soon it was getting too much like teasing himself, he needed to be inside Jack. Sebastian quickly got back above Jack and grasped one of Jacks hands with his own and Jack's hip with the other. Sebastian slowly pushed in, savouring the feeling of finally being back inside Jack. The feel of Jack's ass squeezing his cock even after spending time working him open. A guttural moan left Sebastian's mouth, unashamed, head tipped back and eyes closed.

Jack

Jack let out a shaky gasp, his eyes fluttering shut as he felt Sebastian push into him. He loved the way he always felt a little too tight for the other man, loved the way it was always a mix of pain and pleasure in the beginning. His fingers tugged harder on his hair, inhaling sharply as he tried to adjust. "Oh my god," he hissed, squeezing his hand. He was almost surprised at how good Sebastian felt and how good he sounded, feeling a rush of pride as he realised that guttural moan was because of him.(edited)

Sebastian

Sebastian retuned the squeeze of his hand, connecting with him like that almost felt more intimate than sex. He couldn't remember the last time someone had held his hand, and it certainly never happened with a person he was fucking. Slowly Sebastian began to move his hips, fucking into Jack, relishing in how the younger man felt around him.

Jack

A whimper slipped his lips as the other began to move, his body still trying to adjust to it, but clearly enjoying it too, his own cock straining painfully against his stomach. He had missed this so much, but there was even something more to it this time; more intimate. This was their thing now. He was sure there were would still be a lot of guys Sebastian would be tempted to sleep with, but he wasn't going to. Just Jack. He hoped that meant he made the other man feel at least half as good as Sebastian made him feel during sex.

Sebastian

"You feel so good Jack," Seb groaned, "So tight," He moaned unashamed. Sebastian loved every minuet of fucking Jack, though he recently realised he loved every minuet he spent with Jack. All he could think about was making Jack feel good right now and as they continued to fuck he reached one hand down and began to pump Jack's cock. "Pretty dick so hard for me." He whined; hips loosing their rhythm as he began to feel that coil tightening- like feeling inside.

Jack

Sebastian's words went straight to his dick, making huff-y noises as his fingers dug into the other's hand. He loved the way he sounded right now, the way Sebastian's voice was heavy, with that usual confident, smirk-y tone. His hips arched into Sebastian's hand before he could stop himself, each moan louder than the previous. "Ju-just for... you," he managed to get out. "You ma-make me so hard..."

Sebastian

Sebastian grabbed Jacks hips tight as he arched, tight enough to bruise, to mark him, to claim him. He began to lose all sense of time as he fucked Jack relentlessly. “So hard all for me” he groaned and leaned down to tugged on Jacks lip kissing him forcefully and reaching down to stroke Jacks cock. “I’m so-o close.” He groaned, eyes rolling back as he fell over the edge and his orgasm pulsed through him.

Jack

The way Sebastian fucked him mercilessly made him feel so good; he loved how he could feel his fingers digging into his hips and how he knew he was going to be so god damn sore tomorrow. That was okay. He liked the reminder of being fucked by Sebastian. Especially now. This meant... this meant he wasn't gonna fuck anybody else, and that made it a reminder that he was Sebastian's too. If he wasn't so far gone, he'd smile at that; but now all he could do was screamed into the kiss, overwhelmed with pleasure as he started to cum as well.

Sebastian

“Fuck Jack” Seb made a noise deep in his throat, working Jacks cock, wanting to feel him come, wanting him to feel the pleasure he felt right now. “So. Fucking. Hot.” Seb fucked into Jack softly; enunciating each word with a thrust as he milked himself inside Jack, fucking the younger man through his orgasm until he was over sensitive and finally flopped down onto the bed beside Jack.

Jack

He was just lost in it now, making loud noises as he went into total bliss; cumming all over himself as well as Sebastian's hand. As Sebastian laid down next to him, he was still coming down from his high; trying to catch his breath. God, he felt so good.

Sebastian

Sebastian panted hard as he came down from the high, not able to keep his eyes from Jack's face. He still couldn't believe what he felt for Jack, and even more surprised he'd managed to admit it out loud. This felt so alien to him to care this much but with Jack it felt so right. Whenever he was with Jack it felt like all of his problems just shrank away, like his father couldn't touch him anymore, like he was free. Being with Jack gave him wings. Still with a blissed out expression on his face Seb reached for tissues to pull off the condom and wipe down Jacks stomach and chest where the cum had spurted. When he had cleaned them both off he pulled Jack in close, an arm around his back shifting until Jacks head was on his chest and he sighed contentedly.

Jack

As he came down from his high, he suddenly felt so sleepy; all spent now. He just let the other clean them both up, smiling softly as he felt Sebastian pull him close. Jack's arm wrapped lazily around his waist as he nuzzled into his chest, loving how the smell of Sebastian was mingled with sweat and sex now. There was such a warm feeling of content spreading through his body, and he wished they could just lay like this forever.

Sebastian

Seb let his eyes close as he placed a kiss on the top of Jack's head, nuzzling into his hair. Everything about Jack was soft and warm and like coming home. He had Jack back and he was finally home. "M-gon'a fall asleep." Seb mumbled, not caring for once that he was in another mans bed, not feeling the need to instantly run as he always did after sex. He was with Jack and that was okay.

Jack

Jack smiled sleepily, fumbling with his hand to pull the duvet over them. This was... so much. He had never ever expected this when he woke up that morning, and it made him all fuzzy. Because the next morning... he would wake up with Sebastian next to him. His boyfriend. "Me too," he said, not sure if it actually came out properly as he rested again Sebastian's chest, loving the smell and warmth of him.

[madfantasy]

It’s a tag meme

Tagged by @aworldofgrey

I'm very interested in knowing about others here more so it was a good read, thank you.

Are you named after someone?

No. I have an unexplained revulsion for my name. I've been lucky enough to meet 4 people who share it with me, growing up. And they were everything I hate to be in a person. It's not of a very common name, for that to happen.

Last time I cried

Crying is an alien concept for me. It rarely happens, & I don't like it to. But at times when I will myself, it be at its greatest resistance. At others, I am talking and in the middle of my sentence; my throat clench and the tears just trickle down. I can remember once I truly cried with my all; I was sore for days: three years ago. When my father returned from the hospital. 

Do you have kids?

I am the eldest of my family, and I technically take care of everyone and had watched my siblings grow. So it's a yes and a no. (Adding; I don’t like kids.)

Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, subtly. But I hate admitting that it can get overrun by the spell of sincere politeness that is embedded in my bones.

First thing I notice about people

Everything. Their hight, their weight distribution, the tone of their voices, their way of using words in a sentence if they spoke, how they hold themselves, the smallest twitch their expression makes, their scent, the way you sense how they're present beside you.. all, except their eyes.

Eye colour

Dark brown.

Special Talents

I was told I have a beautiful voice. I sing opera in private. I can't think of anything worth specialising but how crazy imaginative I can be. It was at its peak as a child, I could fantasize things present around me, to a point of seeing them alive beyond question. That reminded me of the time I was scared into submission by my own doing; someone was combing my hair (which was a very painful process) threatened me to stop yowling or the monster will come and get me. And I could see a foot appear in the crack between door and floor, each time I was warned, they were shifting their weight from foot to foot, waiting.  One of my first characters used to be my imaginary friend, actually. (I stopped seeing them irl after — as they call it— Loss of Innocence or something).

That brings me to drawing. Fantasizing characters what started it, I used it as an equivalent way of taking pictures of them, recording their obscene stories, and still. I don't consider it as a talent, because I've been drawing since ever and only as a sort of representation for the things (& people) I imagine, not for the sake of Art itself, or to relax, or to express myself as I have been told by other artists. My drive to get better at it came from wanting to get close as possible to how they look and feel.

And that support my ability to design characters, which I like to consider special. It is what I do in terms of Art-ing. Oh, and I’m always on a mission to misplace or misspell things and talk in relentless long phrases without a pause to mentally breathe or process anything said earlier causing a sudden conflict of subjects or reiteration of things in a slightly different wording which I do in either of the languages I speak.

Where were you born?

Saudi Arabia. And live in another dimension, If I may add.

What are your hobbies?

Drawing, listening to audio books, playing video games, writing poetry, daydreaming, talking about designing characters, fashion, planning things, writing stories— no narrating stories to my siblings, obsessing over things for years, taking strolls, enjoying smells etc.

Do you have any pets?

No. I don't like to touch/or be touched by animals.

How tall are you?

153 cm? I don’t remember.

What sports do you play?

Nothing. Biting people could count, since you have to chase them and possibly wrestle them. All in good fun, of course.

Favourite class in school

Any mention of school reminds me of how mentally draining just being there— existing around people. Any favorable class depends on if it provokes an anxiety or not. I like them all, I suppose, especially when they’re scientific. I would have said art classes, but they were dull and not blessed by teachers whom actually cared (one I humorously despise). I liked them just as they are; pretends. They gave me a great excuse to get provided by art supplies and act as if I was working on an assignment. (I wasn't allowed to draw before recent years.)

Dream job

💌

In the spirit of chasing: Tag, you're it! (If you like)

@shinykavendish  @abichuela-1 @mollymcgiftens  @bluthatesfabrikk @horsesandfandomsarelife

https://abichuela-1.tumblr.com/post/179846851936/tag-meme https://shinykavendish.tumblr.com/post/179832927101/its-a-tag-meme https://bluthatesfabrikk.tumblr.com/post/179901290822/its-a-tag-meme https://horsesandfandomsarelife.tumblr.com/post/179884149031/tag-meme

[magazinemains]

Screenit van helsing

SCREENIT VAN HELSING SERIAL

SCREENIT VAN HELSING SERIES

Starring: Kelly Overton, Jonathan Scarfe, Christopher Heyerdahl. Now, she and a motley band of fellow survivors fight to stay alive. That is precisely why it worked and why it has remained a classic for so long. After three years in a coma, Vanessa awakens to a world ravaged by vampires. Yet it never sacrifices the atmosphere, the brooding tension or the excellent actors. This finale was action-packed in a way the Universal Dracula films had never been. The determination in the character has never been clearer. The ending is one of the most unforgettable showdowns in horror history, with Van Helsing chasing Dracula throughout the castle, making sure he does not get back into his coffin before sunrise. Yet this side of the character has been rarely explored since Lee’s days wearing the cape. This is exactly who Dracula was in the book. There was a man in there long ago, you can see it behind Lee’s eyes, but that man is long forgotten and rarely mourned. Elke afwijking van n of meerdere van de bepalingen van deze algemene voorwaarden, dienen schriftelijk te worden overeengekomen en door elk van de vertegenwoordigingsbevoegden. This was Jackman right at the hight of early. Deze algemene voorwaarden maken integraal deel uit van de overeenkomst tussen de klant en 4 Infinity / Screenit, met uitsluiting van de eigen voorwaarden van de klant. Here was a hero being played by Hugh Jackman, fighting the most famous monsters of all time. They saw a major franchise in Van Helsing. Starring: Kelly Overton,Jonathan Scarfe,Christopher Heyerdahl.

SCREENIT VAN HELSING SERIAL

He lures them in like a seductive serial killer, uses and objectifies every woman he meets as long as she’s fit to be made undead. Peter Jackson’s A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Lover Script to Pieces Even still, Universal absolutely loved the idea and were completely on board with it. After three years in a coma, Vanessa awakens to a world ravaged by vampires. Most portrayals have a romantic sensibility to them and while Dracula does have a way with women in the Hammer films, it’s not exactly sexy. He will stop at nothing in his quest to spread his darkness. Lee’s Dracula, in stark contrast, is the embodiment of evil. This is a hero who cares about the well being of others and will do anything to take the monster down. Cushing brings an honesty and immediate likeability to his Sherlock Holmes-ish portrayal of Van Helsing. A commercial-free advance preview of the pilot aired on Jon Syfy ahead of its Septempremiere.

SCREENIT VAN HELSING SERIES

Kelly Overton plays the titular character of the series, 1 which was inspired by Zenescope Entertainment s graphic novel series Helsing. This began in Curse of Frankenstein, but like so many other things it was cemented in Horror of Dracula. Van Helsing is a fantasy horror drama television series. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee worked together on countless Hammer productions, usually with Cushing as the hero and Lee as the villain. So much of the success of Horror of Dracula comes down to the lead actors themselves. But in his commanding presence, his ruthless nature and monstrous attitude this is as close to the character in the novel as any adaptation has ever gotten. Characters are combined and their relationships are changed, as always seems to be the case. Jonathan Harker travels to the castle already knowing exactly what the Count is. Of course, like Dracula before it, Horror of Dracula took many liberties with the book.

[trekkedin]

What’s the point?

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, Drugs, Spoiler T6T, Angst

John’s letter was lying on the table, its words printed in Sherlock’s mind. They kept coming, over and over, never letting him in peace, never letting him rest, like immortal ennemies attacking from his most sacred place. His own brain was killing him.

Sleep was just a sweet memory, like the soft burn of the sun during a cold winter. How could he sleep? How could he sleep when he knew the room upstairs was empty, and will forever be? How could he sleep when he knew John wouldn’t be here in the morning? How could he sleep when John wasn’t here to remind him to? How could he sleep when his bed was colder than ever?

What was the point? What was the point of watching telly if John wasn’t here? What was the point of solving crimes? What was the point of anything? It had been weeks since he had last played the violin. John wasn’t here to listen anymore. John was… lost. He had lost John.

Sherlock laid down on the sofa. It felt odd, as if even the furnitures were rejecting him. As if 221B Baker Street didn’t want Sherlock Holmes anymore. He briefly wondered where Mrs. Hudson was. He couldn’t hear her downstair. Maybe at John’s, taking care of Rosamund with Molly.

Anyone but you. He shook his head angrily to chase the unwanted words. The smiley was looking at him from the wall. Was it disappointed in Sherlock? Maybe it was… Billy didn’t seem happy neither. He was watching Sherlock too, from the chimney. They should have stayed together. Sherlock should have stayed with him. Everyone would be happier if he had.

The blue liquid was shining under the dimmed light. Sherlock observed its reflection. It was beautiful. Like living water taking him into its depths. Calling him.

He hadn’t made a list this time. Again, what was the point? He didn’t even knew what it was — didn’t care. He felt a pinch of guilt when the needle finally found a vein — what would Lestrade think? — but suppressed it instantly. It was for the best. No one wanted a psychopath.

He could feel the cold poison rushing through his veins and arteries. It reminded him of before. Simpler times, when it was only him and Mycroft. A soft chuckle escaped his lips. Who would have thought he’d come to regret those times? Certainly not him.

The drug had reached his brain, finally. Liberation will come soon enough. His vision was already starting to blur. He looked around frantically, trying to memorise every single part of the flat. His eyes first fell on John’s armchair. No one had sit there since… a long time. He could still remember the first time John had sat there, years ago. « Well, this could be very nice. Very nice indeed. » John’s very first words inside this flat.

Besides was the kitchen and the fridge. John had always been so annoyed by Sherlock’s experiments. How many times had he asked him to put the body parts anywhere but in the kitchen? Sherlock had always thought his annoyance wasn’t real. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe, if he had been a better flatmate, John would still be here.

He could picture the hall, downstairs, where so many runs had ended. « That was ridiculous. That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done.» « You invaded Afghanistan. » Pain brought Sherlock back to reality, away from his happy memories. Memories, that’s what it was. Past. Gone.

Anyone but— The words didn’t have any sense anymore. What was it supposed to mean? Anyone but… Sherlock? He couldn’t remember. Anyone but John? No, that was stupid. Who wouldn’t want John? Anyone but Sherlock was more plausible. No one wanted a hight functioning sociopath. He was only good at solving murders. Trying to be more had been a mistake.

The needle rolled out of Sherlock’s hand and fell on the floor with a light thump. It was night outside. The sun was long gone. How symbolic. Sherlock’s light was gone too. John, the conductor of light. John the blogger. John the army doctor.

Sherlock closed his eyes, ready to welcome eternal sleep. Ready to drift away from reality. Away from this boring and painful world.

‘Mrs. Hudson won’t be happy.’ Sherlock’s eyes shot open. He knew this voice by heart. He could recognise it anywhere. He knew it like he knew his own name.

Indeed, when he opened his eyes, John was standing before him, a frown on his face and arms crossed on his torso.

‘You’re not real,’ Sherlock said. He wished he hadn’t. He could have kept the illusion a bit longer.

‘Brilliant! Now, if you’re done pointing at the obvious, what are you going to do?’ not-real-John asked. Sherlock could almost believe that there was worry in his eyes.

‘Do about what?’ he replied from the sofa. Not-real-John eyes widened. In fear? He put a hand on Sherlock’s shoulder and looked at him straight in the eyes. Sherlock shifted. His shoulder was burning where not-real-John’s hand was.

‘You’re dying, Sherlock,’ not-real-John stated.

‘Course I’m dying,’ Sherlock replied with a small smile. ‘It’s your turn to state the obvious.’ Not-real-John was about to speak again but he disappeared without warning under Sherlock’s eyes. It was harder and harder to keep his eyes open. Despite his tiredness, Sherlock managed to sit. ‘John?’ His voice was so low he could barely hear himself. Where was John? Why wasn’t he here?

Suddenly, there was hands on his shoulders again. They pushed him down. Sherlock didn’t have the force to resist. His head hit the cushion and rolled on the side.

‘Shhh, Sherlock,’ John said. ‘I’m here. I won’t leave you.’ He passed a hand through Sherlock’s black curls.

‘John, before I go…’ Sherlock whispered in his half-consciousness. He wanted to grab John’s hand but he didn’t have the energy anymore. ‘Before I go… I wanted to…’ He wanted… He wanted… There was something he wanted to say. It was his last chance to say it. He lifted his eyelids one last time and let himself get lost in John’s face.

‘I… love… you.’

[amplesalty]

Day 9 - All I Want for Christmas Is You (2017)

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Nine Christmas cookies!

Did I say wholesome? Because clearly I meant boring. Boooooooooooooooring.

Still, I can't help but feel partially responsible for this film. Back in 2016 when I watched another film of a similar name (which was also the 9th entry for the month, spooky), I joked that that wasn't someone's attempt at making a movie based of the Mariah Carey song. Apparently someone took that to mean a challenge and by Christmas 2017 we had this...thing.

How does one adapt a thirteen year old song into a movie? Well, this is a movie about love, Mariah's first love. Clearly that song speaks of a great passion that she feels for that person...only this isn't about a person. It's about something cuddly, with fuzzy ears and a little red nose. Firstly, I'm pretty sure none of the dogs in this movie have a red nose. I don't think any dog ever has had a red nose. Secondly, I don't think anyone has considered the possibility of that song being about a dog.

But, looking over the lyrics, there's nothing too untoward in it when you put it into this context. "I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe" and "I just want you here tonight holding on to me so tight" are the closest you can get and they're pretty tenuous.

So yeah, this is about a young Mariah wanting a dog for Christmas. An animated Mariah who is apparently really good at ice skating, good enough that she can draw things on the ice. I know people make ice sculptures but is drawing on the ice with ice skates a thing? She really wants a dog for Christmas, not least because her friends are doing a dog based fashion parade...thing, and she needs one to take part. But everytime she asks for one, her parents just say no.

Why not just ask your friend here for one? I mean, he is pretty plainly Harry Potter, he can probably just magic one up for you.

Or you can just do the age old childhood trick of going around each and every one of your family members until someone gives in. Mariah's Granny seems to be relenting and takes her to the pet store where a cute little doggy called Princess is picked out for her. Is Mariah's granny here black? I suppose it's to tie in her mixed heritage which I guess a lot of people miss since she just looks white. Rest of the family in this is white AF so seems a little odd.

If anything, young Mariah looks really tanned next to the rest of them.

Even Mariah's dad eventually comes around and sets up a little ploy: If she can dogsit this Jack Russell he got, maybe she'll be cut out for dog ownership after all.

Now, being based on a song as this is, there is the worry that it will rest heavily on it but, to the movie's credit, it only comes up towards the end of the movie and even then it's sung by the younger actress playing Mariah. The real Mariah only narrates. You have to wait for the credits for the actual proper Mariah one. There's actually a few different Mariah Christmas songs on the soundtrack, I assume she made them for this movie. Maybe she didn't, I can't be bothered to investigate.

I mean, they're all very bland but hey, it's something original. And there is one semi-decent one, Lil Snowman, if only for the fact that it rips off Johnny Be Good and very slightly My Sharona. It helps too that she's actually singing somewhat normally, a happy middle ground between her usual breathless, whisper singing and the over the top warbling that she does.

Even the dogs in this movie sing!

This movie represents one of the few, if not the only time I've had to break up a viewing into two parts because it is just beyond tedious. It feels like being at a really boring job where you end up clock watching, you look away and you feel like hours of passed but it's actually only been about five minutes.

This could probably have been a 20 minute special but they've padded it out so much to be a feature length presentation. It's just copy and paste throughout the entire thing; someone leaves the back door open, the dog gets out, causes havoc, Mariah has to go get it back.  I honestly lost tr...

SQUIRREL!

Sorry, got distracted there for a second. I honestly lost track of the number of times something was getting into or out of their house because someone left the door open. Forget All I Want for Christmas is You, All I Want for Christmas is a working door latch.

This comes to a head when the squirrels break into the house and mess up the Christmas display. Little Jack tries to get them and even chases them to the fireplace and up the chimney! That's just impossible! A house is gonna be, what, like 20ft hight? And a chimney is gonna extend out slightly more than that. You mean to tell me a dog is going to be able to scale a sheer brick wall that high? What is it doing, wall jumping it's way up?

The closest we come to any sort of dramatic moment involves Mariah's grandfather who is really annoyed with their neighbours extravagant light display. Fancying himself a bit of a prankster, he sets about messing with the display. It starts out innocently enough with him simply unplugging the lights (not the most imaginative of pranks, I must say) before he comes up with a special light bulb. When this bulb is placed anywhere in a string of lights, it stops the entire chain blinking.

But, to truly hide the offending bulb, he climbs the neighbour's roof and plugs it in in a hard to reach spot. Unfortunately, he loses his footing and brings the entire display crashing down and ends up dangiling inches about a pool whilst wrapped in Chrstimas lights. Mariah and her brother are shocked to find him and have to work together to stop him falling and, you know, dying. This movie kicked up a notch all of a sudden!

And in a twist ending that will surprise everyone witnessing it, Mariah ultimately decides that she doesn't need Princess and that she had her perfect dog all along in Jack.

I appreciate this is a kids film and all but I can't even imagine the average 5 year old girl that this is probably aimed at wanting to sit through this garbage for 90 minutes. I was hoping for some weird vanity project I could point and laugh at but it's just dogs and doors, constantly. Just stick to the song, I mean it's no Fairlytale of New York or anything but it's actually enjoyable and not an extended means of torture like this film is.

Even the family dinner looks like something Jack just squeezed out onto the front lawn.

Join me in 2019 for the next in this series as we look at Bing Cosby's White Christmas, maybe the Hollywood version is all about him beating his kids.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So... Someone told me in Instagram that Robert and Adria were no longer together. So I Google and I found out some dish! So then Matt tells me that although I was incorrect with whom he was with, I was still correct about many things, like I could see him being physically abusive to Adria. Turns out that he was supposedly arrested for domestic violence towards her according to a forum which reposted his arrest record. And so since I was correct about many things, no one slowed my roll. Alot of people are really pissed off that Robert things he can notch his bedpost with my name. Because that is all it really is about. Robert Hight can't have a real relationship with any one. He is very attractive in his face when he's not doing something that he's not supposed to be doing. But he has no over all dignity. So now I look back at alot of stuff he did to gain my attention. I just ignored him because I didn't know his intentions because he has been abusive and verbally violent towards me. More so than anyone else. Anyone. Sure JP has hired people to follow me around with loaded guns and other assorted things which are violently colored and very bad. Not to mention stupid. But JP is rarely violent towards me, himself. He's a coward, not too much of a liar although he does costume himself quite well Cruz P has been very hostile towards me but someone usually whips his ass and I know Tony has been a therapist towards him and has guided him to be sane and more respectful towards me, and hopefully other women. He's done well. Not perfect, Cruz, as his brother has to remind him often about is manners. But they are making progress and I appreciate that although he still wants to notch his bedpost. Sorry guys, yall are about 20 years late. At least 15 years. I quit notching awhile ago. I don't know all whom has defended me against Robert but I do very much appreciate you to defend my honor and protect me it at least attempt to. I know Ron Capps was absolutely angry towards Robert and his audacity to be a womanizer. I must say tho that Robert has been quite quiet and not really as annoying as I would thought. He's actually kinda respectful. Like they tell him I'm busy so he buzzes off. And he's quiet. He doesn't fuck with my head. Which is actually quite surprising. I definitely would have expected that. Maybe he just knows he can't get away with it. But he does it to other people. People keep encouraging John Force to know that Robert is a bully towards him. Especially the ghosts. As ghosts can see much more than i, I suppose we should believe them. They care about John. They're not trying to hurt Robert but protect John. And John doesn't see or feel that way. I understand. I am human and can't see all what the spirits speak of. And Robert does surprise me which then makes things tricky for me so it's much easier for me to believe the spirits. Because they're honest. They talk to God. They go to Heaven when they leave here. They can come and go as they please. And sometimes Earth, my life, is too difficult for them to watch, to look at and so they leave as I don't want them to suffer more than they already have. And they don't want to see John suffer. So they speak against Robert in order to help John. And they believe that things can change. Either John kicks Robert's ass or Robert decides to change or both. I'm posting this photo of Adria. To say she is beautiful and she is real and she has a soul and emotions. Not just to say that Robert hurt her and look at this girl whom only wanted love and companionship But also for me to tell her that I think she's beautiful and she should never settle for ever being treated badly as I know she has. #IStandWithAdria I just needed to say that. And also that I cut my hair like the way hers is styled here. So I don't even know why Robert would want to fuck me since he cheated on her and abused her. Like seriously. Has he changed that much that he believes he won't? Apparently he's been chasing after me quite awhile.... but I know the ones that chase, once they catch, they're bored. And they will bore me. And I don't like to be bored.

[kelpie-keeper]

Title: Dance with the devil pt 3 of 3 Rating: NC-17 Pairing/Characters: Yonekuni & Shirou Series: Sex Pistols Part of: Alt Universe; Third part to Dace with the devil pt 1 & 2 Notes: After dismissing his “friend”, Yonekuni is plagued by dreams that haunt him day after day whenever he closes his eyes to sleep. Determined to get to the bottom of this and the rumors that have been spreading, he stumbles onto something he wasn’t supposed to see. Dragged into a plot by someone who claims to be Shirou’s grandfather, he never thought his world would spiral out of control. Will he ever be relieved of the dreams that haunt him? Will he be able to accept the one person who loves him and what would he do if he was taken away?  I apologize that this story is dull and boring, I’ve been itching to explore some of Shirou’s family, which I had taken liberty of abusing.  Had so much trouble with this part, sorry it took so long to get it out.  There will be an epilogue.

Words that he wanted to say froze in his throat as he struggled to understand what Shirou had just said, trying to comprehend the rejection that he had just gotten.  He had never thought that Shirou would reject  him, confident in the male’s feelings for him, never thinking that his offer to spend the holidays together would get turned down.  ”Oh, o-kay then.”  Cursing for showing some kind of weakness, he knew that such emotion was beneath him.  Never on the receiving end of rejection, he wasn’t sure how to act around Shirou, didn’t understand the feeling of his chest tightening nor the urge to lash out.  The silence thickened between them, only being broken by the sound of Shirou speaking up.

“Even though I can’t spend the holidays with you here,” he looked up, the way the male licked his lips nervously and seemingly to fidget in his seat, as if trying to hold back some sort of emotion.  ”I was told that I could bring my partner with me,” his heart raced just a little faster at those words, the feeling that he was quickly becoming familiar with as he waited.  ”I thought you would like to come with me, um, since I told you my feelings.”  Words trailed off, the offer hanging in the air as he thought over, barely hearing the inner voice in his head urging him to take the offer.  Telling him to say yes, that he would love to come, but he was still smarting from from the rejection Shirou gave him.  Gathering what was left of his lunch as he pushed back his chair.  Standing up to his full hight and looking down at the boy in the chair, he gave him his answer.

“No,” looking down at the male, the urge to inflict emotional pain prevented him from stopping his tongue.  ”No, since I’m not your partner.  Never have been and never will-” he bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from screwing things up even further.  Never bothering to see what his words did to Shirou, he walked away.  Turning his back on the male and his offer.

With his back turned, he didn’t see Shirou look down at his desk.  Didn’t see the extra airline ticket that had his name on it being slipped back where he pulled it from.  Struggling not to give into his emotions, breathing deeply to calm down his broken heart and not show the world the pain he felt.  His grandfather had explained everything to him, how his soul had chosen a partner so long ago and the one he wanted didn’t want him.  He thought that Yonekuni would consider him a potential partner or at least, think about it.  The urge to get up and run was overwhelming him, but the hand on his shoulder and the concerned look on his friend’s face stopped him from doing so.  Doing what he was best at, he sucked up the pain he felt, as if his world wasn’t collapsing around him.  The murmured words that Danil, the one who sat behind him and stayed with him at his house, attempts to reassure him.

He didn’t look up when Yonekuni returned to his seat.  He didn’t have to look over to see that the blond was doing his best to ignore him.  The twinge in his chest, one that he was used to seemed to become stronger and he found himself struggling to breath, unaware that he had caught everyone’s attention.  Each breath he took, tried to take in more air only to fail while his heart raced and pounded out of control.  Never hearing the sound of a chair being pushed back and toppling over, nor the jerk of a blond head and his name.  All he knew was the touch of Danil on his shoulder, guiding him out of the classroom.  He didn’t know that his friends had decided to follow him out of the class and into the hallway.  With his eyes wide, staring down at the floor without actually seeing it, it took the sound of Danil talking to him softly.  Russian words that he knew the boy was trying to calm him with before he was escorted out of the school, never bothering with the school nurse, it wouldn’t do if she were to find out his secret.

Body trembling, he didn’t register the sound of slight panicking in Danil’s voice as one hand guided him down the stairs while the other held up a cellphone.  By the time that they reached the school’s gate, a luxury car pulled up and Viktor rushed out.  With words rushed between the two and him struggling to breath, he followed the older male as stepped into the car.  An order barked out to the driver, the calming had on his forehead while words he didn’t recognize, murmured in a hushed voice before a gentle calm washed over him.  His eyes slowly closing, he let the darkness take over him.

There he stood, watching as the car drove off with his friend.  He had an idea of what happened.  Though he wasn’t proficient in Japanese, he could understand the hurt in Shirou’s voice.  The pain that his friend tried to hide in his eyes.  Turning around on his heel, he headed back into the building.  Up the stairs with only one goal in his mind.  Once he reached the classroom door, sliding it open and startling the teacher along with the students, he marched over to his seat and sat down.  The look on his face chased away those who were curious as to what had happened just minutes ago and it would be torture to be in class, away from his friend.  Away from the one he was supposed to be close to.  School would pass slow, struggling to understand while the teacher spoke as his knowledge of Japanese was still basic.

Somehow, the way the blond ignored him ticked at him.  The one that Shirou had chosen had showed a lack of concern for the male, had pushed away Shirou.  Had rejected the male’s soul.  Once the school bell rung, signaling the end of the day and while the rest of the class left, he packed up his bag and about to leave when the cold voice stopped him.

“What happened to him?”

With his bag around his shoulder, he watched the smaller male freeze in his steps before turning to him.  Watching the smaller one bristle, he gave no reaction at the glare leveled at him and even gloated at the male’s lack of control of his soul.  But all his gloating, his feeling of being better than the smaller one fell away with the words that the male spoke in his heavy accented words.  The air around them chilled as he confronted the one who had become a little too close to Shirou for his liking.

“You rejected Shirou and, in turn, rejected who he is.  Most wolves mate for life and those that do chose to do so are almost connected with their partner.  You rejected Shirou as a partner, even when his soul chosen you as a life partner.  You rejected his soul, so the blow was devastating.”  Hands clenched at his sides, wanting nothing more to wipe away that knowing smirk from his lips.  Watching as boy turned to leave, stopping him once again with a question.

“You said most wolves mate for life, so Shirou should be waiting for me, right?”

The laugh was unsettling to say the least, the way the corners of the male’s lips curled into a smile that threatened to spread across his face.  ”If you want to believe that, that’s all right.  But I wouldn’t be so sure, there are those who would be interested in Shirou.  Who would perhaps be a better partner than you.”  With that, the younger foreign male walked away, leaving him alone in the classroom.  Words that had been spoken, he wished he could take them back.  Regret washing over him, he grabbed his bag along with his jacket before heading home to drop off his bag before heading to his shift at the restaurant.

Wrapped heavily in his jacket, coming home after being told to leave by his boss, who didn’t want to deal with him breaking more dishes and being rude to his fellow coworkers.  With his hands shoved deep into his pockets, he lost himself in his thoughts.  Earlier that day, sucking up his nervousness and asked the one who had been plaguing his thoughts.  The sting of being shot down was gone now that he thought about it, having chastised himself for being so quick to reject Shirou’s offer.  He didn’t stop to hear the details of the trip and instead, he wanted to hurt the male in a way that Shirou had hurt him.  ’Maybe there would be a chance to talk to him tomorrow,’ he thought to himself as he headed up the stairs.  Finding the door unlocked before quietly entering the apartment.

Shouldering off his jacket and hanging it up, walking further into the room and seeing his younger brother curled up behind Noririn on the couch.  The way the larger nekomata held the smaller one, gentle caressing.  Hand against the lightweight, as if he was protecting him from everything that was wrong with the world and while Kunimasa held the smaller one, Noririn looked on top of the world.  He didn’t speak a word when Kunimasa looked up, the faint narrowing of eyes.  A warning he needed to heed as he headed to his room, giving the two a large berth before heading towards his room.  Door closed behind him and locked, like every time he came home while he sat down at his computer, waiting impatiently as the machine booted up.

Playing the video again, having lost count of how many times he watched the clip as he was unable to tear his gaze away.  Biting his lower lip as Shirou in the video gently touched him, tenderly.  Caring for him.  Wanting more of the tenderness of the male’s touch, to hear words whispered in his ears as he cared for him the way he had watched his brother with the small cat.  Wanted more of the heat, to feel arms wrap around him and pull him down, to refuse to let go and be by his side for as long as they could go.  ’Envious of the two,’ a voice whispered in the back of his mind.  ’You could have had that, but you turned him down.’  The voice became malicious, almost vicious as it continued.  Spiteful.  ’He was ready to become yours and you would rather hurt him than say yes,’ a hiss as the voice died down.  He knew the voice was right, should have listened to his instincts instead of lashing out at Shirou.  Trying to bury his guilt by turning up the volume, watching the way Shirou moved above him, finding his hand had a mind of it’s own.

A lack of sleep that night left him grumpy and agitated, irritated after having woken up from an erotic dream of the male, his boxers soiled with his cooling cum.  Under the flow of scalding hot water, he knew what he had to do, to get what he wanted.  Having to swallow his pride and ask the male if the offer was still available and if it was, go with him.  At the moment, he didn’t care where overseas Shirou was going, only to be close enough to feel the heat, easy access to the male.  While he dried off, the prospect of seeing Shirou seemed to improve his move, just a little, as he slipped one layer on a time, finishing it off with a heavy jacket.  Ignoring the scene Kunimasa and Norio were going through in the kitchen, out the door in hopes of meeting the heavyweight at the gates of the school.

The school entrance deserted of the one he was looking for and their classroom stood empty and though he was impatient, he forced himself to take his seat and wait.  Slowly, other students started to trickle in.  One by one and yet, no sign of the one he was waiting for.  The last one to arrive, slamming the door open to reveal the teacher, his hopes dwindled and his mood rapidly deteriorated.  Time would pass slowly as each class finished, only to start anew with another and before he knew it, lunch had started.  Heading towards Kunimasa’s class, hoping that his brother knew where Shirou lived, to get the address and answers that he wanted.

A trip to the class and back, wasted time as he cursed his brother for deciding to go after Noririn.  Pulling out his cellphone, wishing that he had gotten the one number that he needed instead of all the other numbers of the girls that he knew.  Going through the numbers he kept on his phone, debating and contemplating on what he was going to do as lunch came to an end.  As the day slowed down to a crawl, as if life was laughing at his misery.  He never noticed that the desk behind Shirou’s stood empty as well, only pushing all thoughts of the male to the back of his mind while class continued.  Never bothering to elaborate his reasons for being in a bad mood to the girls that surrounded him, he gave a silent sigh of relief when the last bell of the day rang, finally catching up with his brother.

The call of his name while footsteps approached him in the bustling airport and knew from the tone of voice that the older male was worried about him.  ”Are you sure that you want to do this?  You’re leaving nearly a week earlier than planned.”  He had been asking himself the same thing but every time he did, he came up with the same answer.  ”I-I’m sure.  I asked him but I got turned down.”  He didn’t bother mentioning what happened the day before, being rushed into the car and the peaceful silence in his head while his grandfather calmed his inner soul.  Biting his bottom lip, staring down at his clenched hands.  ”Besides, he already told me that he never was and never will be my partner.”  A shaky smile that hid the depths of the pain he was feeling.  It had taken him several hours to come to after being led to the car, the soothing sound and the feel of a warm hand on his forehead.  Having woken up to see his mother’s worried face staring down at him.

He saw the worry in her eyes, the worry for him and the pain of seeing her son so depressed.  He didn’t want to see that type worry in her eyes again and when she asked if he was alright, he lied to her for the first time.  Telling her that he was okay, not wanting her to worry about him.  The sound of the boarding announcement pulled him from his thoughts and while he made his way to his seat, he hoped that this trip would help him get over his broken heart.  Taking his seat in first class, glancing out the window and past his reflection, he thought back to the night before, when his grandfather brought up the subject of moving the trip up.  Hoping for some time away from the snubs and scathing remarks that he knew Yonekuni would give him, he had jumped at it.

The sudden, calming touch to his hand, turning and giving Danil a weak smile before turning away, back to the window.  Wondering what Yonekuni would do when he found out that he was gone before biting back a bitter laugh.  He knew full well that the blond wouldn’t care, not after what happened the day before and the past couple of weeks, not matter how much he wished for it.  Settling in for the flight, wishing so much that his dreams would come true, he closed his eyes.

Address in hand, he nodded to his brother as he headed after the lightweight before leaving.  Jacket on snugly and bag slung over his shoulder, he headed out, bypassing going home and headed to the train station.  Waiting as patiently as he could, giving a sigh of relief with the train pulled up and allowed him to enter, to get away from the cold.  Taking a seat and looking out the window as he thought about he wanted to say to the one he rejected.  He knew that a dog’s nature was to forgive almost everything and though Shirou was from the dog family, he had no clue to the nature of wolves.  Hoping that this chance would give him what he wanted to know, what he needed to find out.  It wasn’t long before the train started to slow then coming to a stop, allowing him to disembark as soon as the doors slid open.

His footsteps strong and determined, taking him him down several streets to the second to the last house on the street he was on before he paused as he stood in front of the welcoming building.  Familiarity tickled the back of his mind, quietly telling him that he had been there before.  Opening the gate and walking through, up the few steps to the door and swallowed hard as he forced his hand up, ringing the doorbell.  Unable to stop the hammering of his heart, stepping back when the door opened to reveal an older woman.  Smaller in stature, her eyes seemed tinged red as if she had been crying while a puzzled look crossed her face.  Silence reigned, before the older woman spoke.

“There’s something familiar about you,” a low confession before she shook her head and apologized.  ”I’m sorry, its just I know I’ve seen you before but I can’t place where.”  He watched as she pulled out a tissue to dab at the corners of her eyes.  ”Anyway, what can I do for you?”  He couldn’t help feeling a little uncomfortable, he never was really good deal with monkeys, let along a monkey woman.  In fact, if he was given a chance, he would have preferred not to deal with them at all, but since he didn’t have much of a chance right now.

“Is Shirou here?  I, uh, need to talk to him.”  The minute those words left his lips, he wished he could take them back.  The startled gasp and the pain hidden in her eyes.  Wanting to look away but couldn’t.  Couldn’t give her the privacy of allowing her to cry by herself.  Not with tears as his weakness.

Pain evident in her voice as she started to speak, softly but more strongly as she continued, giving him an answer he didn’t like.  ”Shirou’s not here, he left this morning.  He’ll be back by New Years, that is, if he decides that he likes it over there.”  He was about to turn away when she said new years, he froze.  ”What do you mean “If he likes it there?”  What are you talking about?”  Watching her eyes widen before she looked away.  ”So you know too.”  She stated rather than asked before stepping back into the house.  ”You might as well come in.”

Stepping past the small woman and into the house, all the while breathing in the foreign scents, of both monkey and madararui, though Shirou’s natural scent was the faintest to say the least.  Barely there, but when the scent of another madararui, several in fact, scents that didn’t belong to the canine at all, the wave of possessiveness washed over him, pulling himself up straighter.  Standing up to his full height, as if the owners of the scents were in the next room, waiting for him.  The sound of a throat being cleared pulled him from his determination of trying to find, to figure out who the scents belong to.

“If you already know about Shirou’s past, than you must know about him being adopted.”  A nod, he did know and yet, he wanted to find out from Shirou’s adopted mother.  Wanted to know more than what Shirou himself knew.

“We-well, I knew Mischa, Shirou’s mother for a long time now, she was a transfer student at the school I went to.  Or rather, in my class.  Really nice, friendly.  Well, she and her husband, Soujirou, were sick.  Though they never told me and my husband what was fully wrong, we never brought it up, seeing as the small family was happy.  As they got worse, we took on the role of raising Shirou while Mischa and Soujirou were in and out of the hospital.”  She paused, fighting back the tears while she thought of her long gone friend before continuing.  ”We didn’t mind, we loved Shirou as if he was our own son and we were happy to adopt him.  But to find out Mischa’s family coming here, looking for their or rather, his grandson.  She told me before she died that she wasn’t really on speaking terms with her family, so when he showed up, I was more than surprised.”

He waited patiently as she dapped away the tears from her eyes with the tissue before continuing.  ”Now they’re, he, is hinting that it may be best if Shirou would move back home, to be with “family.”  He wanted to know Shirou’s answer and it must have been written on his face when she continued.  ”Of course Shirou said no, but decided to go with them during winter break, rather early too,” a pause as if she was remembering something.  ”He did say something about inviting someone, but when I asked him who last night, he just gave me the saddest smile’s I’ve ever seen and changed the subject.”

He wanted to ask, to get more information out of the woman, but let the words die on his tongue when she pushed herself to her feet.  Walking away from him and showing him to the door and knew he couldn’t ask her.  ”Thank you for telling me,” scratching the back of his neck before stepping back onto the steps that lead up to the house.  A look over his shoulder and he could see the sudden realization in her eyes, seeing her placing him in her memories.  ”Make sure you make him happy.  I don’t want to see my son that down again.”  The door closed, leaving him shocked before he shook his head, wondering where she saw him before.  Wrapping his jacket tightly around himself, heading to the train station.  Approaching, up the stairs before cursing his luck as he reached the platform as the train pulled away.  Having nearly twenty minutes until the next train arrived, heading to the small cart that sold hot drinks with the hopes of warming up inside.

Ordering and paying for the cup of hot coffee, gently sipping the scalding hot liquid while trying to figure out what he wanted to do.  How was he going to hold on for over two weeks until Shirou got back?  Apprehension, something he wasn’t used to filled him.  Uncomfortable with the feelings of want and need, uncertain of what he wanted from Shirou and what they had between them.  Lost in thought, thinking of a chance to be happy and be close to a person who loved him for himself and not who or what he was.  The sound of the announcing arrival pulled him from his thoughts.

The feel of the plane landing, jostling and rumbling as they slowed down, taxing away from the runway.  Glancing at Danil to his left, then past him to his grandfather, he wondered if he had made a mistake in coming with them.  Nervousness built up inside him, an uncomfortable feeling that he was so used to while it joined the ache in his chest.  Wishing and hoping with all that he had never worked for him, knowing that he would never get what he wanted.  Following the two as they disembarked from the aircraft, a small group of three stood waiting for them as they claimed their luggage, noticing that the group would shoot him curious looks before speaking quickly in hushed voices.  Being lead towards a car that had just pulled up and inside, the tense atmosphere seemed to build as the curious looks became disapproving looks.  Words spoken harshly now, no longer hushed, giving him a chance to understand what they were talking about, despite not being fluent on their native language.

And they continued to talk, voices becoming harsher and their words sharper.  Disapproving looks turning into disgusted glares, hearing the sniffs, as if they were trying to catch his scent before muttering of monkey.  And their words continued, laughing once in a while, never knowing that he could understand what was being said, continuing until the sound of a voice harsh, full of authority had shut them up.  Leaving them stunned with shock before mumbled apologies left their lips.

“Don’t worry,” Danil said, brushing aside dark bangs as he leaned in.  ”They’re most likely shocked that you’ve been living with a monkey family all this time.  They’re, uh-” a nervous look around the car before whispering into Shirou’s ear.  ”They don’t care much for monkeys nor anyone who really associates with them.”  His hands clenched in his lap, biting down on his lower lip, almost to the point of chewing on it before nodding.  Movement out of the corner of his eye, seeing the smaller male lean closer to him, lips close to his ear and heated breath washing over his skin.  ”Be careful of Viktor’s friends, some of them aren’t known to be “friendly”.”  A little confused of what Danil was warning him about, but he nodded.  Though he was speaking Japanese, his Russian accent thicker, making it a little difficult to understand what was being said.

When his friend pulled back, seeing the emotion in those bright green eyes, remembering what the boy had told Yonekuni in the hallway just yesterday.  He knew that the one beside him wanted him, could easily hear how the voice would go thick with want and desire.  Waking up in the middle of the night to find the male perched above him, ears out and twitching, along with the curved tail, whispering words so softly that he couldn’t make them out.  A hand trailing down his cheek to his chest, underneath the shirt he wore to tease at his skin.  He remembered calling Danil’s name, trying to wake the boy.  To gain his attention but to no avail, the boy only gave him a smile while eyes slid close.

He flushed while he thought about it, never telling Yonekuni about what had happened.  He didn’t feel the attraction to the boy, not the way he felt for Yonekuni, only caring for Danil as a friend.  But still, it was nice to see some interest from someone.  To be paid attention to.  The shaking of his shoulder, the voice in his ear that whispered and the low groan that belonged to the boy.  All sounds inside the car died down while everyone in the group seemed to have a light flush to their cheeks, his gaze lifting up when he felt the weight of their stares on him.

It took him a minute to realize what he had done, the same thing he had done with Yonekuni.  Mumbling an apology, his gaze drawn back to his lap as he flushed with embarrassment.  Silently berating himself for failing a simple task of holding back his pheromones and knew that none of this would have happened if he had just rejected the offer to go with his grandfather.  Hushed words were spoken, his chest tightened as a bark of laughter, ringing in his ears.  The rest of the car ride was made in silence, broken only by the the group of three who continued to talk quietly among themselves.  Turning his gaze from his lap to the window, watching as the bustling city was left behind, he wondered if what Danil had told him was true.

He soon found out what Danil had told him was true, the feeling almost as bad as the way Yonekuni used to treat him.  Stepping away from the car once the door opened, he swallowed and stepped forward.  Into the grand house, the music that had been playing softly in the background was turned off while voices died down before he was approached.  The few that approached him, he learned, were those who were not related to him and, going by the way they acted around Danil, must be the smaller male’s family.  His own, though, his gaze turning to the small group that seemed to be arguing with his grandfather.  Easily feeling the distrust, the loathing that seemed to roll off them when they turned and approached him, with forced smiles on their faces.  It was obvious that he wasn’t welcome like his grandfather thought.

Movement out of the corner of his eyes caught his attention, pulling him from the unpleasant group to the lone man who slowly approached him, watching him move between those who stood around and gossiped.  A flutter in his chest at the smile that was sent towards him, though he couldn’t tell if the flutter was his heart or a warning his instincts was trying to tell him.  The stranger stopped in front of him, pushing down the urge to step back and flinch when he caught the cold look in amber colored eyes.  ”I’ve heard Viktor-er, your grandfather, talk about you.  But I must admit, his words don’t do you justice.”

The fluttering in his chest increased as he pulled his hand away, unable to deny the urge to step back any longer and when he did, the way eyes narrowed, being eyed by a predator.  ”I guess I should introduce myself, my name is Mikkel and I’ve been interested in you since your grandfather told me about you.”  A hand coming up, cupping his shoulder to lead him.  He couldn’t’ suppress the shudder that ran through him from the touch.

For the past couple of days, he couldn’t get rid of the feeling of dread.  Always dodging his thoughts, leaving him irritable and snappish, feeling his soul call out.  Restless and wanting, unable to rest.  Managing to get Shirou’s phone number, from his brother no less, he debated with himself about calling, dialing the number and stopping himself before he pushed the call button.  His mother, on the other hand, seemed almost giddy, if that was possible.  Staying around the restaurant more often then late, though he could always find her on the phone and when she wasn’t on the phone, he could feel her calculating gaze on him.  It wouldn’t be until later that evening, watching enviously as the couples seemed to be engrossed with each other.  Acting as if it were valentine’s day and not Christmas.

He wasn’t jealous, he told himself.  He was above such emotions.  Still, easily seeing the emotion on the nekomata’s face, the way his younger brother seemed more livelier, willing to shed the past and embrace the future that lay before him.  Yes, he wasn’t jealous.  A touch to his arm, seeing one of the waitresses relieving him for his break.  The hopeful smile on her face died when he just nodded and headed away.  He needed to get away for a while, dodging between the kitchen staff to the back door, which lead to the crisp and cold air of the night.  Grabbing his jacket, he slipped outside before reaching and digging into the pockets of his hakama pants, grabbing his phone.  Frowning at the blinking light, along with the words that told him of one missed call and one voice mail.  He hadn’t heard his phone go off, but as he looked at the number, recognizing it as Shirou’s, having programed it in last night.  Unable to help the thrill of excitement running through him, he quickly dialed and listened to the message.

The excitement died down upon hearing the voice, recognizing it as the one who told him off before leaving school.  Words laced with a thick accent were rushed and while he tried to understand, managing to understand Shirou’s name, along with another’s before snapping his phone close.  Rushing into the restaurant, barely telling Karen that he was taking off for the night, he ignored her yells of him to get back there while he headed to his bedroom.  Closing and locking the door, he listened to the message, repeatedly before he was able to fully understand what the message.

“I may not like you, but you’re a better choice for Shirou than the devil that has been dancing around him since he got here. He’s one of the worst type of madararui and he’s attempting to draw Shirou to him, to convince him to bond with him. He’s only after Shirou because of what he is and he’s going to hurt him. If you don’t move quickly enough, all that you’ll be able to say to him is goodbye.”

The message was quick and to the point, alerting him of what was happening. He didn’t like the boy who had hung around Shirou in school but he doubt the boy would lie about something like this. Someone was making a move on Shirou and the wolf was letting him. Anger, jealousy and possessiveness slowly boiled, raging inside him while his instincts screamed at him to move, wanting to be released.  How could the heavyweight do this?  Do this to him when Shirou was his and his alone.  His thoughts paused, repeating what he had just thought, it was only now that he considered Shirou as his.  the uncomfortable feeling that had been raging inside him was because he considered the wolf his and he, belonging to the heavyweight.  Though he was unsure of his feelings, he didn’t want to let this opportunity get away, not when there was a chance that Shirou would slip through his fingers.

Sounds of the doorknob jiggling then the hard knock on the door, his mother’s voice filtering through the door, almost demanding him to come out.  Keeping his sigh silent, unlocking the door and opening it, the knowing smile that played at her lips.  ”I take it you got a phone call as well.”  She stated rather than asked while she leaned against the door frame.  ”So, are you going to just stand there or are you going to fight to take back what’s yours?”  The flash of two tickets in her hands and his eyes widened.  ”You have an hour to get ready before we leave,” as she walked away, giving him a parting shot.  ”Dress as warm as you can, you’re going to need it.”

Quickly closing the door, pushing off the uniform he wore, letting the clothing pile at his fee before stepping away.  Dressing as warm as he could, packing a small bag then, with his jacket in his hand, he met his mother in the hallway.  Passing Karen in the hallway, her expression told him how upset she was with him, but just nodded before she talked quietly to his mother.  It wasn’t long before they were outside, waiting as a car pulled up to the curb and stepping inside to be taken to the airport all the while the silence between them strained before his mother spoke up.

“You may think whatever you want about me, but I will say this.  I’m not the evil and greedy bitch you make me out to be.  I do want to see you happy, I just have different ways to make that happen.”  He could  hear the underlining meaning behind her words and only smiled to himself.  Rarely did Makio show amy type of feelings, paternal or otherwise  to him or even the rest of his brothers.  Once they were on their way, his thoughts turned to Shirou and the message that was left, wondering who the male that the message was talking about.

But the fact that someone was making a move on Shirou had spurned him to move.  Quickly following his mother through the airport, holding back his impatience while he waited, giving a sigh of relief when they boarded.  Despite what his mother had said, he knew she was up to something, going by the smirk that caused the corners of her lips to twitch.  Turning his gaze away, he itched to bring the male home.

As soon as the door to his bedroom closed behind him, quickly clicking the lock, he gave a sigh of relief from those who were related to him.  Bearing the brunt of several snide remarks from his cousin, then having to hear his uncle chime in, though Danil had come to his defense.  Words spoken rapidly and harshly, he couldn’t help feeling the satisfaction of seeing the two pale before mumbled apologies reached him.  Sitting back on his bed, wanting nothing more than to just lay back, roll over and forget that he had ever came when the sound of a hard knock against the door before the worried voice of the one who had been courting him.  Getting to his feet, the steps from the bed to the door were few as he unlocked the door, only to step back when the person on the other side opened and forced his way inside.  A charming smile, lips pulled back and the feeling in his chest, the same one that had been bothering him all this week, returned.  Along with the feeling of uneasiness, wariness.

Still, he pushed such thoughts away and tried to focus on the man before, not on what Danil had been trying to tell him.  ”You shouldn’t worry about them,” the smooth and silky voice that seemed to pale in comparison to Yonekuni’s rough and deep voice.  ”They’re just jealous of you.  Jealous of what you are.  They’re afraid that you’ll take away what they think as rightfully theirs.”  He took a step back when Mikkel stepped closer to him, as if forcing him to the bed.  Cornering him, leaving him without room to escape.  Hands on his shoulders, ready to push him down and onto the bed when th sound of his name and the door slamming open caught both of their attention.  With hands dropping away from his shoulders and the body that was so close to his stepping away, Shirou managed to escape with a sigh of relief.

Catching a disgusted look on the auburn haired male’s face, a look of pure loathing and he found himself moving.  Putting himself between Danil and Mikkel, directing the anger away from the smaller male to him.

“Get out of the way, Shirou.”  A low growl, one that he wasn’t used to.  So different from the silky voice that the male had used to get close to him.  A voice that was filled with disgust, hate.  Hands clenched at his sides, he waited for the younger male to obey, to step away and let him discipline the halfblooded middleweight he saw fit.  But when the dark head shook, telling him that no, he wouldn’t move and held fast, blocking his view of the middleweight who dared to interrupt them.  Breathing deeply, suppressing the anger that wanted out, he stepped back and forced a smile he didn’t feel as he apologized.  Looking over Shirou’s shoulder, words hissed in his native tongue and with satisfaction, he watched the middle pale at his veiled threat.  ”I’ll come back later, Shirou, when you’re alone.”  Gritting his teeth at the look of distrust crossing the heavyweight’s features, knowing he had a lot of work ahead of himself if he wanted to rebuild the male’s trust.

As the door closed softly, the two sighs of relief filled the silence, stepping away from Danil before turning towards him.  ”Are you okay?”  His voice soft, receiving a nod and while the younger male wiped away the stray tears from his eyes.  ”You need to be wary of him,” voice hesitant, speaking more strongly.  ”I’ve been trying to tell you all week, he’s not who he pretends to be.  He’s going to hurt you, even more so than-”  Shirou knew who Danil was talking about.  ”Yonekuni,” he finished the sentence, giving his friend a hesitant smile.

It wouldn’t be until dinner later that night did Danil’s warning seemed to make sense.  Sitting to the side of his grandfather as dinner was brought to their table, tension seeming to radiate from the one to the left of him while the one across from him ate quietly, keeping his gaze down.  While the rest of the family seemed to enjoy the strained silence, the clink  of a fork on a glass, catching everyone’s attention.  ”Thank you all very much for coming tonight.”  Mikkel said as he stood, nodding in the direction of his relatives while holding up his wine glass.  ”I know this may be sudden, having just met him a week ago.  But I wanted to bring you all here to make an announcement.”

The knot in his stomach became tighter, causing his hands to tremble while lifting his glass to his lips pausing then setting the glass down.  Pushing back his chair, he excused himself all the while ignoring the protest from his grandfather as he escaped out the door.  Passing hallways, the warnings Danil had been giving him reared up, forcing him to move quickly.  Through the backdoor and out into the dark, into the wind as it howled, spreading the snow that started to fall.  Hearing the sound of his name being called, he broke into a run.  Cursing himself for not heading straight to his room, the tight grasp on his arm and the pain of being slammed back into a tree, wincing as the bark dug into his shirt.

“Why did run away?  Did that filthy halfblooded excuse of a dog warn you about me?  You really need to pick your friends better, especially when you’re going to be mine.”  He could see it now, the smile that he first thought was charming was now malicious and hate filled.  ”You should ignore those below your station, it’ll look bad on you and your, well, worth.”  Amber eyes lit up and the hate filled smile turned smirk as the when the grasp on his arm was released only to find the hand on his neck.

“If you hadn’t interrupted me earlier, it wouldn’t be like this.  I wouldn’t be forcing you like this, so this is all your fault.  I was going to do this the proper way, ask your grandfather for your hand and then, ask you to bond with me.  But now, I’m not going to bother asking you, I’m done with that.”  The pressure that had been increasing on his neck before disappearing, reappearing when he his hands were grabbed and slammed above his head while a knee slid between his legs, settling in.

“It’s my right to take what I want and what i want is you.”  Unable to hold back the shudder of disgust when the feel of a tongue licking at his neck and knew that his disgust enraged his captor, going by the taste of blood in his mouth and his cheek stinging.  Struggling to pull himself free against the hold on him when Mikkel lowered his head again, sniffing along his neck, inhaling and shuddering.  He could feel the mouth move, words making their way up to his ears.

“Do you know why the rest of your family hates you?  The loathing and whispering, pointing and sneering?  They think that you stole me away from your cousin.”  Wincing at the pain from a bite against his skin, struggling against the hand that held him in place.  ”I was set to marry into your family, as disgusting as that sounds.  Breeding with your half blooded cousin while you’re out there.  One of the last full blooded wolf in Russia, the last line of an old dynasty.”  Auburn hair shaken away, amber eyes narrowed at him.  ”You don’t know, do you?  Well, I’m sure you’d find out somehow.  The blood that runs through your veins can be traced back for centuries, almost close enough to be royalty.”  A grin, his eyes widened when he felt the free hand slip down his front, trying to wriggle past the waistband of his pants.  ”So why settle for a cross breed wolf who isn’t a wolf at all, when you’re just waiting for me?  Just for me.”

“Bond?  Mate with me?  But I don’t love you!”

A low chuckle against his skin while his free hand fumbled with his belt, struggling with the zipper.  ”Love?  This isn’t about love and it’ll never will be.  It’s all about superiority.  Passing on my genes and I’m going to fuck you.  Fill you with a damned womb worm and fuck you until I’m sure that you’re carrying my child.”  With a sudden burst of strength at the thought of being raped, managing to free a hand and slug Mikkel in the jaw.  Slipping away when the older male cursed and made a grab for his jaw.  Pushing himself, running to get away, he didn’t get far as he was tackled to the ground, groaning in pain when weight on his back settled while a hand forced his head down into the snow that was slowly starting to build.

“Thought you could get away from me, did you?  Well, just for that, I’m going to fuck you right-”  His words were cut off when a medium sized dog jumped at him, knocking the one on his back away.  Now free, scrambling to get up, the hands on his arms helping him while the familiar scent and voice in his ears, the murmur of his name.  The sounds of growling and a whines of pain became louder as the blond made sure he was fine before turning towards the two.  Watching with wide eyes as Yonekuni pulled Danil away from Mikkel, setting him to the side before grabbing the bleeding male and dragging him to his feet.

“So, you’re the “devil” that Danil warned me about.”

“And you’re the one that Shirou can’t get over,” a low rumble as Mikkel jerked his head out of the grasp that Yonekuni had on his chin.  ”I don’t see why you’re so popular with him, you’re just another half blood.”

He could only watch as the two male’s fought, two heavyweight’s against each other.  It wasn’t long until both their movements slow, realizing that Yonekuni didn’t have any jacket on.  Easily seeing the trembling in the large body, scrambling to this feet, hurrying over and dropping to his knees, pulling the cold blond into his arms.  Arms wrapped around him, a cold nose against his neck and the familiar words that he was used to when Yonekuni came to him in the night.  When the bruised and bloodied male staggered to his feet, narrowing his eyes and let his soul flare.  ”I won’t let you touch him.”  His normally calm voice seemed to seep with anger as he spoke, deep and reverting to his true nature before his soul took over.  Lips curling back over fangs, forcing the beaten male to back off when he tried to approach.

Once Mikkel had stepped back enough to his liking, he pulled his soul back, unaware that they had an audience, Shirou pulled the shivering blond closer.  Sharing what heat he could offer in the cold.

“And this is why your grandson has my son so enamored.”  His head jerked up, narrowing before sighing with relief.  He didn’t bother paying attention to them, keeping Mikkel in place until the male looked away in defeat.

“You’d rather have a mixed blood than a pure blood?”

Gently lifting the blond to his feet, a groan rumbling out followed by his name.  ”I’d rather be with someone I love and even though Yonekuni doesn’t love me, I’ll be there for him.”  A spat of disgust, eyes narrowing at him.  ”You’ll regret this, you know.  Especially when you’re-”  His words stopped when his grandfather broke away from the group and headed towards him, he couldn’t help the feeling of gloating when he saw the male’s face pale at the calm look the older male wore.

“It seems we need to talk.”

Leaving the group behind, leading the blond through the snow and into the house.  He could feel the bite and sting of the cold, the violent shivering from the blond told him that Yonekuni was suffering more than him.  Into the warmth of the house, looking straight ahead, he didn’t see the blond lift his head up.  Didn’t know blue eyes were watching him, only focused on getting Yonekuni to his room.  To warm him up like he used to.

Through hazy eyes, taking each step one at a time, all he could focus was the heat of the one who helped him inside.  Deep in the back of his mind, this scene so familiar in ways that he wanted to know.  A glance up, seeing the worried look that Shirou wore, he could only think that he made the right decision.  Vaguely remembering being stripped, blankets being pulled back and of being laid down.  Feeling the bed dip, skin sliding against his as a weight settled above him, a weight that he missed on him as he felt lips trail down his neck and chest.

Heat he remembered from past times seemed to envelop him, a comfortable heat that he had been yearning for so long.  Eyes slowly opening to the darkness of the room, the only light he was given was from the moon, coming through the window to give him just enough to see the figure against him.  The feel of a nose against his chest while the body against him seemed to shift, tightening a hold around him.  He could faintly remember the words that Shirou spoke earlier, the feel of his partner, his chosen partner supporting him in the cold.  Sitting up, the arms that were wrapped around his chest fell away.

Reaching down, trailing his fingers down Shirou’s cheek to the pale neck.  He wasn’t worried about being naked, he could remember what the heavyweight did to heat him up.  He wasn’t sure of his feelings for Shirou, but that was enough to start a relationship that he had been wanting, been envious of.  Catching the smallest of smiles on the canine’s face, feeling his heart skip a beat before he laid back down, pulling the blankets tighter around around them.  Closing his eyes and join Shirou in sleep, the path to the future laid out before them and he wouldn’t be walking the path alone.