#been a while since I wrote such a long-ass thing; I kinda missed it

[heloflor]

The issues with Movie Peach: A comparison of portrayals

Ok so I know it’s been literal months since the Mario Movie came out but I’m still a bit salty about the way Peach was portrayed in it, and honestly the more I think about it the more I find flaws in this “adaptation”, and I need to get it all out, hoping talking about it here will help me stop thinking about this shit and finally get over it. If you enjoyed her movie portrayal, good for you and feel free to ignore this post. For the others, here are the things that bother me about it.

(Very long post ahead! A bit over 11k words. It’s "cut" in several parts to make it easier to follow. I also made a Google docs version in case it’s easier to read. Tl;Dr under the cut because Tumblr does weird things due to the length otherwise)

Tl;Dr: Outside of a few personality traits that are the same but expressed differently, which is an issue all main characters in this movie have when compared to their game selves, the main issues with Movie Peach are her body language and the fact they removed the overly kind nature, more or less pacifist nature, wit and softness she has in the games and instead made her confrontational, a competent physical fighter and overly-confident, all of which make her OOC when compared to the games. This is especially insulting given the way Illuminations seems to look down on Games Peach and consider what they did with her in the movie to be an improvement, when Peach’s main issue in the games isn’t her personality but her lack of screentime to make said personality shine.

Setting a few things straight before we start, just to make sure we’re on the same page here:

1. No, it’s not about the pants. While an argument could be made about Peach only wearing pants in outfits that require it (adventurer and farmer in Odyssey, some events in Olympics, Strikers, swordfighter and Kung Fu in Showtime, biker in Kart, her cap/snow/moon outfit in Odyssey and detective in Showtime do have pants in a setting where it’s not necessary but both also give her a long jacket, making it look like she’s wearing more of a dress with long stockings rather than actual pants, same for Olympics ice skating) ultimately there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her wearing pants. Heck, one of her scraped Odyssey outfits has her wearing jeans, and it’s one of her best outfits! Also Showtime might have more outfits with pants that will make this argument null (I mean the concept art for Odyssey kinda already does with the jeans). All this to say, the people who claim Peach was “ruined” because she’s *looks at smudged writing* “wearing a biker outfit on a bike” need to chill tf out.

2. There’s also nothing wrong with the fact she can parkour. In all the games she’s playable, Peach can keep up with Mario without any issue (she does have a slower walking speed in Super Paper and 3D World but it honestly barely matters, and it makes sense given she has a dress). Plus, the movie establishes that she was raised here, so it’s normal for her to have the abilities needed to get around. Now I do take issue with her body language in the training scene (more on that later) and the mention that she first-tried it (I like when characters struggle and grow rather than getting everything right first-hand) but both of those things are unrelated to her platforming abilities. So if you see little to no mention of her being great at it later in the post, it’s because that’s not something I consider out of character for her.

3. I am beyond excited for Princess Peach Showtime. From what we’ve seen so far, this game perfectly encapsulates what makes Peach who she is, and I am so happy that she’s getting her own game again!!! As for the swordfighter and Kung Fu outfits, it’s mentioned later on in the post but yeah it absolutely works with her game personality. Again, the issue isn’t with the outfits, or in that case with some specific abilities that work with what we know of her, the issue is with the personality that goes with it.

4. While the post will likely give the opposite impression, in no way do I consider myself some sort of expert on Peach’s character. This is a character that was created 15 years before I was even born, and I have no rights whatsoever to dictate what Nintendo can or can’t do with their own characters or how they choose to portray them. It’s just that she’s a character I absolutely adored as a kid and, while I’m not sure if she’s currently my favorite Mario character (hesitating between her and Bowser), I’m still incredibly attached to that character and her potential, hence why I care so much. But by the end of the day, I’m just some random weirdo over-analyzing a character from a kid-oriented piece of media.

5. I have no issues with the strong female character archetype, or at least none outside of the common grievance of “stop giving us boring planks of wood with amazing natural abilities and instead give us great characters who happen to kick ass and be badass!”. In fact, was this movie a completely original piece with characters unrelated to Mario, I’d probably enjoy Peach’s character. My issue in this specific case is that this movie is meant as a faithful adaptation of a specific franchise, so you’d expect all the characters to be in character. And while all main characters have some traits that are missing or not exactly the same as their game counterparts (I could make a short post about it if anybody asks), it still works very well for what Illuminations was going for and they’re still recognizable. Peach is the only exception where her character feels very butchered. There’s also the issue that it feels like Illuminations looks down on Peach’s game portrayal and wrote her this way with a desire to “fix” her, when there’s nothing wrong with her in-game personality. More on that later. But yeah, it does feel insulting if they do look down on her game character.

(Also I know this is a whole other discussion but I’m really not a big fan of the way everytime a new female character is created she needs to be called like “girlboss”, “damsel”, “Marie Sue” etc. Can’t a female character just exist without being put in a box, like male characters do (obviously I’m talking outside of fandoms, I know men are put in boxes around here)? Also can’t sweet female characters, strong female characters and anything in-between just exist without people arguing over which ones are “better”? Just let women be women. And while I do understand the issue with how many movies do nothing with their women outside of making them the love interest, which is an issue, by that point we have so much diverse female rep that we should be able to write characters the way we want without having to compensate for the shitty portrayals. You want your female characters to be likable or great role models? Just make them interesting. Give them goals, an arc, interesting relationships, things they’re good at and things they struggle at. And if you want them to be soft and kind and raise a family? Go ahead! You want them to be badass as hell and kill without a sweat instead? Go ahead!

Also last thing about it but I find it pretty crazy how Disney specifically struggles so much nowadays with female characters in live-action. I mean Disney Animations Studios gave is tons of great women, both protagonists and antagonists, all with different personalities (Snow White is childlike and naive, Cinderella refuses to let her situation take her down and remains kind to those “below” her, Ariel is curious and passionate, Jasmine is stubborn and independent, Esmeralda is incredibly selfless while still having no issue standing up for herself, Megara is cynical and sharp, Tiana is determined and hard-working, Mulan is very smart and loves her father so much she’s willing to die protecting him, Rapunzel is spunky and has a natural talent to bring people together, Elsa is shy and introverted, Anna is impulsive and empathetic, Mirabel is probably the most relatable Disney protagonist, the list goes on), heck the Disney Princesses is their most popular brand that they didn’t buy out from the competition, and yet when you look at the remakes and the superheroes movies, they give us the blandest characters, whose “empowerment” messages are the most nothing thing when compared to the original animated movies. Mulan especially is a ridiculously good example of that given how fantastic the message of the original movie was in terms of female empowerment.)

Now, with all that out of the way, let’s get into why I dislike Movie Peach when compared to Games Peach:

1. The two biggest issues with Movie Peach

Starting with one of my two biggest issues but also the shortest to explain: her body language. To go over it quickly, just watch her scenes in the movie while focusing on her body language, mannerisms and facial expressions, and then go to her scenes in the Mario + Rabbids games along with the trailers for Princess Peach Showtime and do the same thing. You’ll quickly notice that Rabbids and Showtime have a very similar Peach, while the Movie gives a completely different vibe. In fact, on body language alone, they come off as two completely different characters.

Now there are small moments where her body language in the Movie works as Peach, such as her reactions when Mario is training or when she’s watching the fight between him and DK (at least when the camera isn’t fully focused on her for that second case). But overall, she’s still very different from the games.

To give more precise examples, notice the way Movie Peach always looks very confident when she’s about to start a fight. In comparison, the first teaser for Showtime opens up with Peach and Stella going on stage, and Peach comes off as someone who isn’t sure if she can do it but is willing to try her absolute best. Basically when I look at Movie Peach her face says “Alright, let’s do this >: )” while Peach in the first Showtime trailer has a face that says “Alright, I can do this”, if that makes more sense.

Then there’s also things like in the first Rabbids games with Peach showing up to the fight floating with her parasol Marry Poppins style. And upon being about to land, Mario extends a hand to help her even though she doesn’t need it, which kind of reminds me of the ending of Super Princess Peach where Mario is the one in distress yet Peach is the one getting carried bridal style by him because that’s just the kind of person she is. I just can’t picture Movie Peach doing the same.

Btw funny thing but while I disagree with the people claiming that Movie Peach is basically Daisy, since Daisy is very aloof about her role as ruler while Movie Peach takes it incredibly seriously, I do believe that Movie Peach’s body language would fit Daisy very well.

I guess it’s also worth mentioning how different her voice sounds in the movie? But then again I watched it in french and only saw some english-dubbed scenes through video reactions, and I can’t say I really care about the og dub enough to take a good listen. That being said, I’m not the biggest fan of her french voice when you compare it to what Peach sounds like (I do think the voice actress did a great job though, regardless of whether or not she sounds like Peach). And looking at trailers in different languages, the German version I believe has a much higher-pitched voice and it does feel a lot more like what Peach sounds like.

Second biggest issue is how great she is in combat and that’s the biggest one for me. Not only did they remove some of Peach’s traits (which we’ll get to in a moment) but they added something that is extremely out of character for her.

In the movie, Peach is a fantastic fighter, especially with hand-to-hand combat. She drop-kicks Mario, would have probably won against DK no problem had she accepted the duel, does a great job defending herself in the Rainbow Road scene, is very quick and agile when confronting Bowser at the wedding, and was single-handedly winning against a whole army, probably would have won had she not gotten distracted. She’s also clearly aware of those abilities, very often smiling during those fights, showing tons of confidence in her abilities.

On top of that, she’s very confrontational. She hears of Bowser being a menace and immediately wants to go to war. When a stranger gets a bit too close for comfort, she attacks. When encouraging her Toads before leaving, her posture when she gets interrupted shows a desire to fight. When they meet the first Kong and he glares at her, she immediately glares back. She also takes a fighting stance when he roars at them. When Bowser approaches, she’s willing to take him out all by herself and later on starts the battle at the altar. All-in-all, fighting is her first solution to pretty much every problem.

Peach in the games, however, is very different. If you look at her relationship with fighting throughout the series, three things will arise:

1. Peach doesn’t like fighting and only does so if there’s no other choice. In Mario 3D Land, she fights back against a pile of Goombas but looks incredibly uncomfortable doing so. In what we’ve seen of Showtime, she cowers when Stella uses her magic on her hair and then looks confused about having to be the hero for a second there.

In Smash Bros Brawl, the one cutscene where she truly shines has her stopping fights left and right and trying to befriend everyone while letting Sheik protect her if needed; she doesn’t even take a fighting stance when Mr. Game and Watch attacks (at least in the cutscene compilation I saw, could have been a glitch where her animation didn’t trigger considering she’s dusting her dress off instead, which looks like an idle animation; note that I haven’t played this game). Btw it’s both very funny and pretty embarrassing for the Movie writers that a fighting game of all things understood Peach’s dislike over fighting better than they did. On that note, this one Ultimate trailer with no music that got memed a lot features Peach and Zelda surrounded by a gust of wind, and while Zelda looks ready to fight, Peach instead gasps and looks at the wind, completely dropping her guard and forgetting about the whole “having to fight” thing.

Then there’s the Mario and Luigi series where she sends the twins to fight her battles, the first Rabbids game where you meet her very early on yet she only becomes playable much later in the game, plus in both Rabbids games she’s a support character whose role is to protect the others (of course she still has an attack like everyone else; also I’m in no way saying that a support character is “lesser”, it’s an essential role in making sure the hard-hitters use their turns to attack rather than heal).

In Paper Mario 64 she also doesn’t fight directly and in the last boss uses her wishes to strengthen Twink, playing support. Even in the Super Mario Adventures Comic, outside of dropkicking on the Koopalings, she never fights directly. When going back to the tower, she threatens to blow it up but doesn’t do anything when Wendy calls her bluff. There’s literally only one panel during the “getting the keys” fight in which she’s visible, and she’s in the background running around and looking surprised!

Oh yeah and while I might be wrong as I’ve only seen it in like, 2 cutscenes, Peach in the Rabbids games doesn’t seem to have a fighting stance, at least outside of cutscenes. So you know how the characters have some small animations, like “thinking” stances or “happy/cheering” stances or “sad” stances, you know the ones? Well in at least two scenes, while everyone is taking a fighting stance, Peach is standing with her mouth open in surprise. I know one of these moments is in the Last Spark Hunter DLC but I couldn’t tell you which is the other cutscene. I’m not even actually sure if it’s true for a second one but also for some reason I remember seeing it at least twice. 🤔 Btw random fun fact but Bowser also doesn’t have a cheering stance, at least not in this DLC.

I also know incredibly little of Super Mario RPG but doesn’t she use magic in this game, and is again the supporting character meant to heal the others?

Also also not sure if this matters much since other characters like Daisy do it too, but in Super Mario Party, and possibly other party games (?), during the minigames that require punching other people, she pushes them instead. You can see she doesn’t use her fist but her palms instead.

Lastly, because it does need to be brought up, yes Peach jumps on enemies without any hesitation in the platformers she’s playable in. This is basically the main reason why I called Peach “more or less pacifist” in the Tl;Dr. And honestly, the only counterargument I can give is the fact that those aren’t really fights, at least outside of bosses. You’re just kind of hopping on enemies’ heads and then they disappear. But in games that are more focused on the fight itself like the RPGs or the Smash cutscenes, Peach tends to either be less comfortable with fighting or have more of a supporting role.

Now, I could also point out how the vast majority of platformers Peach is playable in are co-op games (Bros 2 USA, 3D World, Super Paper, Wonder), and the stories of those games imply the whole group is going on an adventure together, meaning it’s possible Peach does less fighting and more exploring for example, leaving Mario and Luigi to do most of the fighting. And while this is an idea I like to explore in fics, I don’t want to diminish Peach’s abilities here. Plus Super Princess Peach and Showtime prove that she doesn’t hesitate when on her own.

And yes I know the real reason why she doesn’t hesitate in the platformers is because people want to be able to play as her and it’d be stupid to have a character who doesn’t have the basic abilities literally every character has, so it has less to do with her personality and more to do with gameplay. The RPGs on the other hand assign different abilities and roles to different characters, so they can make Peach the healer/support as a means to make her an active character while keeping her personality intact. Still, for the sake of argument and to avoid being a hypocrite, I consider the platformers as proof that she can fight directly when she needs to, with the RPGs and Smash cutscenes showing that this might not be her preferred choice.

All this to say, Peach is not much of a fighter. If she can prevent a fight, she will choose the more peaceful option. She’d also rather have other people fight instead of her or play support for them. But if it all comes down to it, she will fight. She’d rather not, but she will if needed.

2. Peach doesn’t know how to fight. Now this might be a flimsier argument but bear with me here. Basically, the first time I thought of this was due to the 86 anime and Adventures Comic, both of which have her defend herself using furniture, which does give the impression that she doesn’t know how to fight so she does the second best thing: throwing heavy shit to at least do some damage.

But even with those aside, Peach is definitely one to use unusual weapons. In Super Princess Peach and a few other games, she fights with a parasol. Her gun in Rabbids 2 is even shaped like a parasol. In Super Mario RPG, from what I’ve heard/seen, she uses a frying pan. And while I don’t know her Smash moveset, looking at her character descriptions from the wiki, the Smash games keep mentioning her using said frying pan along with turnips, her parasol, sports gear and Toad as a shield, with her hand-to-hand combat being her kicking while in the air. I also know what her final smash sort of looks like with the way the screen changes to look like a Peach-themed frame (and I think I remember hearing that peaches fall off the sky but don’t quote me on that).

She also uses magic, mostly star/wish-related magic, which seems to be healing magic for the most part? On that note, her specials in the sport games tend to be heart-shaped. And while it’s definitely undermined by the swordfighter and Kung Fu outfits, her main means to defend herself in Showtime is a ribbon. And who knows, maybe we’ll get some other wacky ways to attack in other transformations?

So yeah, overall, Peach doesn’t seem like someone who knows how to fight. She just holds onto an object that she’s comfortable with and wacks people with it. In a way, it goes with what’s said in the previous part. In platforming games, she jumps on enemies just like everybody else. But when it comes to more hand-related combat, Showtime is seemingly the first time where she’s getting some abilities on that front.

Now, there is the argument that Showtime is all a play, meaning her abilities are her playing a role. But I do think that, regardless if this is a play or not, her physical abilities in this game do come from her. So even if the fights are “scripted” to an extent, she’s still capable of executing those moves. Same deal with the possible argument that Stella might be giving her those powers/boosting her. Peach still is capable of doing them on her own, unless we’re explicitly told in-game that Stella gave her those abilities and Peach wouldn’t be able to do them without her. But then this would undermine her baking and detective skills, and we know how much Peach loves baking. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see once the game comes out.

3. Peach is physically weak, much more so than what the movie shows. This is actually why I saw her Smash descriptions because I went to the wiki pages for all the sport games to check her stats. And in all the games showing said stats, her strength is almost always below average, sometimes by a little, other times by a lot, with quite a few instances having her as one of the physically weakest characters. I can only remember one exception where her strength was around the same level as everyone else. Everything else, she’s below.

For those curious about which stats I used to check on that: every game that has a “strength” stat, I checked it. As for the others, for the golf games I looked for the ball distance a throw gives as it seems like the one that would require the most strength, and for some Strikers games it was the shooting stat. I didn’t take Mario Kart into consideration as I don’t think there’s anything in that series that would count (even weight doesn’t really have anything to do with it), and the baseball games were a bit more complicated. By that I mean that Peach in Sluggers for example (at least I think it was Sluggers) has a bad stat as a hitter, but good at pitcher. And both of those positions require physical strength I believe? Unless Nintendo considers pitcher as more of a technique-related skill and hitter as more strength-related? But yeah, just leaving this here in case it’s relevant. Literally the one time I don’t spend time looking at the other characters’ stats to see what they have in comparison, it’s the one time where I’m not sure what it means in terms of strength.

(Speaking of which, because I found those interesting, know that Mario is always the most balanced character, Luigi tends to be not as strong as his brother but has more agility than him, Bowser is always one of the strongest, DK and Wario swap between which one has the same strength stat as Bowser and which one is a bit weaker depending on the game, Daisy is a fast character in the Olympics games which I find funny considering Mario Kart Wii, and Waluigi tends to be on the weaker end due to being lanky apparently.)

And outside of the sports games, one of her Smash Melee descriptions calls her one of the weakest characters physically, and how using her is a test of endurance (again, a literal fighting game gets it), while that one long gone Doctor Mario mobile game has her attack stat in combat mode be at its lowest, while her defense on the other hand is pretty good (haven’t played this game actually, just stumbled across the page and looked up some stats, funny how well they’re tied to the sport games, like with Mario being balanced, Bowser having the most attack etc).

Now there might be more examples I’m forgetting, but all-in-all, there’s a pattern of Peach being weak when it comes to physical strength. And on unrelated news, the part of me that headcanon her as a Toad is very happy about that fact.

2. Other personality differences

And speaking of patterns! Here’s something the movie removed from Game Peach: her wit. Peach in the games is smart, resourceful and quick-witted. And while it’s not something the games really focus on, it’s absolutely there.

In all those sports games I mentioned, there’s one stat that’s always her highest, and that’s her technique. In all the games that have a stat called technique, she has the highest one. In almost all the games that don’t have stats but just put the characters in categories based on their abilities (all-around, strength, technique, speed etc), she’s put in the technique box, with only like one exception in an Olympics game that puts her in the speed category, switching with Daisy. In strikers, the golf games, the tennis games, and likely the baseball games, her best stats are the ones related to her control over the ball, which I’d argue is the most related to technique (don’t remember the exact names of the stats but it was something along the lines of passing the ball, giving effect to the ball, choosing the trajectory of the balls and being pitcher respectively). One of the Olympics games I believe even calls her quick-witted.

On that note, I like to think that this is why she makes for a great swordfighter and Kung Fu artist in Showtime, as those are skills that require a lot of technique and she’s good at picking up on it (also is there an Olympics games that has a fencing challenge that she’s playable in? Because that could explain it too).

As for outside of the sport games, you have the 86 Anime where she manages to outsmart Bowser though she doesn’t get away with it, the Adventures Comic with her outsmarting the Koopalings and even managing to escape the tower by making fast decisions on where to run to and using Wendy’s possessions against her (granted she got lucky with the cape, but still), Paper Mario 64 with her sneaking around the castle finding info to help Mario, same deal with Thousand Years Door (from what I’ve seen of it), Superstar Saga with her switcharoo plan, Partners in Time with her quickly grabbing the star against Elder Princess Shroobs, Dream Team with her and Toadsworth going through a few trials on their own (plus, depending on when she got captured, she might have been the one to think of hiding with Madame Broque), Showtime with the detective outfit, all the games where she’s able to send Mario items (like Galaxy) or attempts to run away (3D Land), and overall she’s seen as a great Princess loved by her Toads, which is a role that requires a lot of thinking to take the best decisions for her people.

On the other hand, Movie Peach lacks this wit. While she does have a lot of technique given how much she can do physically, she lacks the smart decisions that Games Peach is able to do. Or at least, she doesn’t think things through like, at all. I mean if you look at her decisions one by one:

- She intended on traveling to meet the Kongs all on her own, going on a fairly dangerous adventure without a single person in tow. The only reason she went with others was because Mario showed up.

- She meets that completely random guy that broke into her castle and is immediately willing to take him on said difficult journey after one day of seeing him train, all because he looks like her (this is the main reason why I would’ve loved to have Toadsworth in the movie, he could’ve told her not to go alone, thus giving an excuse as to why she would take Mario with her).

- When Cranky refuses to land his army, she just doubles down on what she just said. While her arguments make sense, she clearly didn’t know what to say and had no backup plan in case he refused, and only got the army due to Mario’s impulsiveness (granted I think she could’ve taken DK in a fight). And while yes, she’s surprised when Cranky first accepts, meaning she might have expected him to disagree, the fact she says “that’s it?” makes it seem more like she expected a deal rather than a direct approval. She didn’t come off as someone who expected him to say no, but instead expected a conditional yes and didn’t consider what to do in case of refusal.

- When Bowser arrives, she intends to face him alone, literally getting surrounded by Koopas the second Bowser steps out of his ship. Then she tells him to use the star now. She basically sent herself on a suicide mission here, and clearly decided to face him without any sort of plan. Was she hoping her looking badass and all would be enough to deter him or something???

- The wedding scheme. Now, this one is fine overall and does show she can come up with plans, but also a few people have pointed out how there could have been alternatives. She could’ve tried talking Bowser out of the sacrifices, try to accept the marriage and bide some time in order to strike when there isn’t a fricking army standing right next to her. But instead, she chose to blow up the whole thing, which was a crazy dangerous plan. It also showcases what I was saying about her being confrontational, when this is the first thing she can think of. Now of course, in the end it was the best idea due to Bowser wishing to sacrifice other people, meaning she needed to act now. But with the context of Peach not knowing about said sacrifices, it means she still intended on doing the most dangerous thing first rather than getting the marriage over with and destroying Bowser’s empire from the inside. Heck had she waited until after the marriage she could’ve gotten access to the Star during the night or something. Also, again, there’s no telling how Bowser would’ve responded had she asked him to spare those lives, at least for the time being.

So overall, while I wouldn’t call Movie Peach an idiot as she’s not, she isn’t that smart either. She keeps rushing into dangerous situations thinking her fighting abilities will be enough to solve the issue, exercising none of the caution and patience Games Peach has when trying to escape or snooping around. And it honestly sucks that Illuminations decided to take out what is arguably one of Peach’s biggest strengths and replace it with another type of strength that not only she doesn’t need but also goes against her character.

Now, before we get into the last thing bothering me, which is her kindness or lack thereof, I’d like to talk about a few minor traits that could’ve worked in the kindness part but can also be talked about separately. Those things are her snark/sass, her seriousness and her anger. Basically, those are traits that both Movie Peach and Games Peach possess, and as a result it doesn’t bother me when Movie Peach displays those.

Peach in the games can be sassy at times, especially in the competitive games. That sassiness can also be turned into playfulness a few times, like in Superstar Saga when she trolls Mario and Luigi about her voice and laughs about it, or during the escort mission where she makes comments about how “it wasn’t that bad” when you exit an area.

Like Movie Peach, she’s also fairly serious during dangerous situations. It’s just that, due to her personality, she expresses a lot of worry in those situations, which might take away some of her seriousness when compared to her movie self.

As for her anger, boy is it present in the games, but again it comes off as toned down due to her inherent softness. In the 86 Anime, she’s constantly talking back against Bowser and gets mad at him a lot, same for Paper Mario 64. In Super Paper Mario, it’s easy to get her angry. In the ending of Odyssey, she’s pissed off, and I actually love how when she gets on the ship she needs to take a deep breath to calm down enough to bring back a smile for Mario. That doesn’t mean she isn’t angry anymore, but again she’s incredibly kind and compassionate so she’s willing to put it on the side for now and focus on getting home. Also in the intro of Super Princess Peach, she’s absolutely furious after reading Bowser’s letter.

About her anger, I can’t help but wonder if this is what Miyamoto meant in an interview related to the movie where he apparently claimed that Movie Peach is how he’d always wanted her character to be. Because let’s be real here, this claim, if true, is corporate bullshit. Miyamoto has a lot of power at Nintendo, he could’ve made Peach like that from the get-go if that’s what he’d always wanted. Hell just look at Showtime where Peach is the same as she’s always been in the games, very much proving that claim is false. So again, I can’t help but wonder if by that claim, Miyamoto meant her temper. Or maybe he was referring to the Adventures Comic, which is the only version outside of the movie in which Peach is confrontational, but then again she doesn’t know how to fight in that comic so…

I’d also like to talk about her confidence, since earlier I mentioned how overly-confident Movie Peach is in her fighting abilities compared to the games. Now, that’s not to say Peach isn’t a confident person, far from it. In fact, there’s that character pic from the second Rabbids games showing off her weapon and her smile makes her look very confident (that pic is at the very end of that post btw, if by then you remember this part). But despite her confidence Games Peach definitely comes off as a very humble person, while Movie Peach is low-key showing off during those fight/platforming scenes.

All this to say, if you praise the movie for “giving” Peach those traits, she actually always had them. It’s just expressed differently in the games. This is also what I meant in the intro when saying how all the characters are a bit off when compared to their games selves, but it still works for the most part. The traits are there, but in a different way that does make it seem weird while still making the characters recognizable. The issue with Peach specifically is that they went further than just changing a few traits.

Also because I don’t know where else to put it, Peach in the games is definitely a lot softer and delicate than her Movie counterpart, but I consider this mostly linked to body language, hence why I’m not making a whole part about this. But it’s definitely something the movie is lacking about her.

There's also her stubbornness and love for baking, but those are also things I don’t really want to focus on. Given the situation the characters are in and the fact Illuminations doesn’t know how to write scenes where characters just sit down and talk, there really wasn’t any opportunity to have Movie Peach talk about cakes. Now I do believe that this lack is due to Illuminations considering Peach’s love for baking as “making her weak and feeble”, but again, even if it wasn’t the case the movie has a pacing issue so they couldn’t have talked about this anyways.

As for the stubbornness, I just don’t really have any example in mind and don’t really know how to explain it as a result, but I do believe that both the movie and games selves have it. I might actually be inclined to say Games Peach is more stubborn, but again I don’t really have any examples of that. I mean I guess there’s the Mario and Luigi series where she disregards Toadsworth’s concerns a few times (wanting to see the Toad village in Superstar Saga, using the time-travel machine in PiT, the intro of Dream Team with the trap door). From the little I’ve seen of it, Paper Mario TTYD also has her go against his wishes at the beginning?

Now, for the last difference between the two: her kindness. Peach in the games is one of the kindest sweetest people you’ll ever meet. I think I remember someone actually mentioning how her liking cakes so much is fitting given her personality, as cakes are sweet and soft and bring a smile to your face, just like she does (sadly I can’t remember where I read this, whether it was a tumblr post, a youtube comment, something said in a video or something else). And while Movie Peach is definitely kind, it’s not as much as Games Peach. Hell whenever I see people praise Movie Peach for her kindness, they say something along the lines of how the strong female character archetype usually doesn’t make women be this nice. So what Movie Peach is clearing is actually a very low bar of human decency that people were asking for. In other words, Movie Peach is nice the same amount a basic supporting character should be nice.

In comparison, Games Peach really is kind to a fault. She’s always warm and welcoming to any new person, is said in one of her Melee trophies to be such a forgiving person she’s willing to play against Bowser, which is a sentiment you can also see with the few times they’ve worked together, also that one cutscene in the Last Spark Hunter DLC where the Rabbids go to Bowser for comfort and when he lets that happen Peach gives him the softest smile. Even in games like Mario Odyssey where Bowser is trying to forcefully marry her, she seems to show concern for him after he’s defeated in the Cloud Kingdom. On that note, she’s also very nice to Junior, despite how awkward it might be for her (never raises her voice on him in Sunshine, has over 80% compatibility with him in the Gamecube Baseball game, plays with him in one of the Switch Online ads/explanations).

Also as mentioned before she’s willing to temporarily let go of her anger at the end of Odyssey to call Mario to come to the ship. I also made a post about four instances where Peach jumped into a dangerous situation without thinking because other people were in danger, whether she knew those people or not + whether they were good or bad people. Btw since earlier I mentioned how Movie Peach lacked wit compared to Games Peach, those four moments show that yes, Games Peach can be impulsive at times and do things without thinking them through, but those instances are specifically related to her kindness/desire to help others, unlike Movie Peach who just does what she think is best in the moment and never plans anything. Also ironic I bring back the wit since I consider Peach’s kindness to be her second biggest strength, on par with said wit.

On that note, I’m one of those people who make up animations in my mind while listening to music and recently was listening to Wander Over Yonder songs thinking about Mario (“I’m the Bad Guy” with the Shadow Queen tho, or “You’re the Greatest Reprise” with Kamek, Bowser, Luigi and Mario when taking the order of which characters speak/sing first, also you have no idea how much I hope someone will make an animatic of Bowser singing “You’re the Greatest”). And the funny thing is, while thinking of voices and how the actor for Wander would fit either Mario or Luigi very well, it got me thinking of how both properties have a very nice/positive cast where even the villains can be friends from time to time, and I ended up comparing Mario with Wonder and realize that Wonder is actual pretty similar to Peach in some ways.

Both Wander and Peach are people who value friendship and understanding over fighting. They both love helping others, though it’s a lot more amplified with Wander, and are both willing to give the villains a shot at redemption, perhaps a bit too much, trying to see the best in people. Now what’s interesting here is that, while Peach is intelligent and her governing a Kingdom shows a level of maturity, at times she comes off as naive or airheaded, and I can’t help but feel like her kindness is the reason for it, and comparing it with Wander explains it.

The short version is, if both of them received an invitation from their respective villain claiming they were willing to change their ways, both would happily accept and go meet the villain with a smile. The difference however is that Wander would have Sylvia looking out for him, ready to jump in any moment. While Wander will play dumb on the possibility of the villain setting up a trap, he’ll be very much aware of said possibility and will be able to escape it. Peach on the other hand will drop all defenses and completely fall for the trap.

And I think that’s the thing with Peach’s kindness, and why she comes off as naive. Unlike someone like Wander who keeps a level of realism over the villains’ intentions and plays dumb about it, Peach believes the best of everyone to a fault. I’m especially thinking of that scene in the Switch Tennis game, with Wario and Waluigi showing up and half-collapsing, leading Peach to immediately run to them, ready to help, forcing a Toad to step in and tell her to be careful. Peach knows that Wario and Waluigi are bad news, yet the second they’re shown in trouble, she forgets all about the possible danger and wants to help, straight up needing someone else to remind her of said danger. In a way, it reminds me of that statement Miyamoto once made about how easy it could be to capture Peach by just giving her cake. While I’m not the biggest fan of this statement as it comes off as mocking her character, when you think about it, there is some truth to it.

Now I guess we kinda went off-topic here but also it’s a good way to show the way Peach expresses her kindness in the games, and how the movie failed to convey that. Games Peach sees the best in everyone, to a point where it can become a flaw, while Movie Peach is a lot more guarded (see her attacking Mario when he got close or her body language around the first Kong they meet). Also, Games Peach is someone who doesn’t seem able to hate anyone, though it is mentioned in I believe a Mario and Luigi game that she hates Bowser. Even then, I don’t remember said hate being really conveyed. Don’t get me wrong, Games Peach can very much be mad at someone and/or dislike them, and I do believe she doesn’t have the best opinion of Bowser, but she never comes off as outright hating anybody. Movie Peach on the other hand absolutely hates Bowser. Just look at her face when he tries to flirt with her. There’s nothing but contempt in her eyes.

3. In defense of Princess Peach

Lastly, I want to expand a bit on that whole “Illuminations looking down on Peach’s character” thing and the way people see Peach in general, along with talking about how I feel about some of her portrayals because why not.

Thing is, to an extent, I get it. Peach’s character origin is rooted in sexism, with her being meant as the damsel in distress who’s constantly helpless. She was definitely meant as a character of her time, and I get why some might find her boring as a result.

But the thing is, even with that origin in mind, Peach has always been more than that. Literally one insignificant year after the first Super Mario Bros game, we had the 86 Anime which gave her a personality. And then we had Mario Bros 2 USA where she was a playable character, one of the earliest playable female human characters in gaming (she wasn’t the first but still definitely pretty early). And while the mainline games kept a status quo of her being captured, we had the Adventures Comic with her being able to escape all on her own, the Mario Kart series with her being playable in every single one of them, same deal for the sports and Party games. She was playable in Smash starting with Melee, she was playable in the first two Mario RPGs (Super Mario RPG and Paper 64). Despite her role as damsel in distress, she was far from being put on the side when it came to non-mainline games. She even got her own platformer where she had to save Mario!

In some small ways, Peach actually reminds me of Luigi. He was player two in tons of games and absent in almost all big 3D games, meaning most players didn’t get to play as him in the majority of mainline games unless they played in multiplayer. Or he was playable but under specific conditions (pushing buttons in the right order for Mario Bros DS, finishing the main story and doing one special world in Mario 3D Land, literally finishing the game 100% in Mario Galaxy 1). And the first time he had his own game, it was in the early 2000s, less than 5 years before Super Princess Peach (granted Luigi’s Mansion was apparently a console launch title, which is a bigger deal; also no I’m not including that Mario is Missing shit), and it took forever to get sequels. And while he was playable in the Mario and Luigi series, he’s barely playable in the Paper series, neither is he in RPG.

Overall, while he does have much more playable appearances than Peach, a lot of it is conditional in the mainline games and he definitely struggled to get recognition, to the point of it becoming a recurring joke in the Mario and Luigi series + Nintendo made a whole “Year of Luigi” event to compensate for his lack of time under the spotlight.

As for personality, Luigi is shy and quiet, easily frightened, and often gets himself in trouble, with a few games needing you to save him. He looks up to Mario for safety and confidence and relies on him a lot, Mario basically being his rock. So you can definitely draw some parallels between him and Peach.

Now where am I getting with those parallels? Basically thinking about it, it does bother me a bit that Luigi gets praised for being an adorable dork while Peach is called bland and boring for expressing rather similar traits/being in the same situation, and I say that as someone who absolutely adores Luigi! In the end, I’m just going to assume it’s due to the weird hatred against women some gamers and fandom spaces have for some reason.

Speaking of which, since people claim to have an issue with Peach’s personality and how bland she is and how the movie “gave her a personality”, I’d argue that there’s nothing wrong with her character, the issue is her lack of screentime.

The best example of that is with Smash Bros Brawl. For most of the cutscenes, she’s getting captured left and right and is basically a non-character. But then there’s that cutscene on the ship where she takes the spotlight, and that scene is great! It’s incredibly fun to see that character during a huge crisis just pulling out tea out of nowhere and generally being more focused on befriending people than protecting herself. Seriously, while I strongly dislike how little agency Peach has in this story, I absolutely love this scene! Btw can we get some justice for Zelda? No because if Peach got shafted by the story, Zelda got it even worse. Even as a kid I could tell from her design that she could’ve done more to help, but instead the only time she actually does something, it’s as Sheik. Girl is clearly able to fight for herself yet she’s useless for the whole thing, it sucks!

The second best example is with the first Paper Mario trilogy, which is also probably my favorite version of Peach. The first game especially did a wonderful job at showing that just because Peach is captured doesn’t mean she has to stand around and do nothing, she can still help. This idea of having interludes with her sneaking around the castle does wonders for her character and really helps in making her personality shine, from her kindness to her wit to her adventurous side to her ability to put her foot down when interacting with Bowser.

Another thing I really like about it is how much it puts some of the kidnappings into perspective. In Paper 64, she finds items by sneaking around and then sends them to Mario. Hey remember the few games where she manages to send letters with one-ups and other items? Same with Mario 3D Land where she’s put in some sort of dungeon, tries to escape, and is put in a cage under high surveillance. Notice how in most New Bros games she’s in a cage when you reach Bowser’s castle, implying all those instances might have been failed attempts to escape.

Basically, while Peach doesn’t get much screentime, some games kind of makes you realize that she does a lot more than you’d think. She tries to get away, she tries to find ways to help Mario. She doesn’t just sit there and lament like many claim. Heck you can also see it in the 86 Anime and Adventures Comic. And reminder that the anime was created one year after the first Super Mario game!

Now the last example I have of Peach suffering from lack of screentime is with the Mario and Luigi series which, outside of the 2023 Movie, is probably my least favorite version of the character, not due to her personality but due to how wasted she is. And between those games being RPGs, meaning they’re supposed to focus on the characters, and the fact that the first Paper Mario games did such a good job with her character, the lack of screentime in those games is particularly aggravating.

In Superstar Saga, she’s actually pretty great! She’s fun, we see her kindness, playfulness, wit and desire for adventure shine. I especially like the way we see her craving for more adventures but can’t go on her own due to how defenseless she is. As someone who made a timeline of the games and has the first Paper trilogy + all the platformers with Peach playable taking place after this series, it’s a great way to slowly set up Peach’s growth into someone who can eventually go on her own adventures as a hero. Honestly the only issue I really have with Peach in that game is the game itself making a joke out of her getting kidnapped all the time. Not the greatest example of meta humor, guys...

I’ve also seen about half of Dream Team and she’s fine in it. I like how they brought back her thirst for adventures. But unlike Superstar Saga, she does feel more like a plot device in this one. Like there’s this whole section where Bowser and Antasma got the dream stone and Starlow is making a big deal about them kidnapping Peach, leading you to try and hide her. Thing is, if it was any other villain, I’d understand the urgency, but this is Bowser we’re talking about here. Peach is going to be fine, why are we wasting our time hiding her when we could focus on the bigger picture!

And even before that there’s this whole section of finding an older Pillow to reach Antasma for no other reason than Peach getting captured, because apparently they couldn’t think of any other excuse to have us meet the main villain, or give a reason for Bowser to show up for that matter. So yeah, the way they used her in Dream Team does make her feel like more of an object than a person, at least past the intro of the game.

But then we get to Partners in Time and Bowser’s Inside Story, and oh boy do I hate what they did with her. In PiT, you could literally take her out of the story and nothing of importance would change. The missing time machine? Just have the whole crew be Toads, it’s enough motivation for Mario. Petey Piranha? Either put a Toad, Kylie Koopa (and remove her scene later on) or even Baby Bowser, I mean why not! Princess Shroobs’ fake-out? Either keep that whole thing in since it’s technically not Peach (just have the characters comment on how she’s supposed to be on vacation or something and how weird it is that she’s there but oh well we gotta protect her) or, if you consider that cheating, just remove the scene and find a better excuse to have Bowser show up and go to the volcano. Or have Shroobs disguise herself as someone else, that’s still a possibility. As for the scene explaining who Elder Shroobs is? Was Peach even necessary in this scene? I mean, it’s pretty obvious what happened, and Elder Princess Shroobs could even explain it herself while gloating. I swear when I saw a let’s play of this game and Princess Shroobs commented on Peach now being useless to her, my first thought was “She was useful to you? Didn’t you try to kill her like an hour ago?”

As for Bowser’s Inside Story, she’s nothing more than a plot device. What does she do in that game? 1. Gives exposition about the Blorbs. 2. Is in danger as a means to motivate Mario. 3. Gives exposition about the Dark Star. 4. Is in danger as a means to motivate Bowser. Oh and did I forget to mention that she’s unconscious for the latter half of the game? Peach in that game could straight-up be replaced with a non-sentient magical item and the plot would stay the same. And I honestly don’t know what’s more insulting between that and what PiT did.

All-in-all, the issue with Peach isn’t her character, it’s the lack of time devoted to her. When she has enough room to be a character, she’s great! When she doesn’t, she’s either boring or a plot device, and it sucks that this is what most people remember her for when she has more going on than just getting kidnapped.

And since I’m out there giving my opinion on Peach’s different appearances throughout the franchise (you can skip directly to the conclusion if you want, this part is pretty off-topic):

My views on the first Paper Mario trilogy and the Mario and Luigi games are explained enough I think.

I also really like how she’s depicted in the 86 Anime. I like how she keeps standing up for herself against Bowser and talking back to him, on top of the usual being kind to Mario and co + her trying to be smart to escape. For Bowser, it’s like early on she realized he’s not going to raise his hands on her, so she’s free to fight back as much as she wants, even if she doesn’t have the abilities to get out of there by herself. Idk, while the Anime itself isn’t all that amazing (it’s pretty funny in how bonkers it is though), I really like what they did with both Peach and Bowser. And it’s pretty fascinating how their modern personalities aren’t that far off from this very early portrayal.

The Mario + Rabbids games also absolutely nail Peach’s character. It’s honestly kinda crazy when you think about it that both the 2023 movie and Sparks of Hope were being developed at the same time, both worked on by a different company that Nintendo had some level over but ultimately mostly gave advice to, and yet the movie struggles to depict the characters properly while Ubisoft did a ridiculously good job at it. Seriously, remember earlier when I said every character in the movie was a bit off? If you want to see a comparison, go see the cutscenes of the Rabbids games. And even if you don’t care about characterization, still do yourself a favor and go watch those cutscenes, they’re amazing!

The Adventures Comic is an interesting one. While she’s very provocative and willing to fight, she also doesn’t know how to do so, and it makes her scenes very funny. Like I love how in the beginning she rants about how she’s going to defend her kingdom, then the next time we see her she gets attacked by Lakitus and gets kidnapped. Girl lasted 10 seconds out there. That contrast of her being all bark but no bite is just very funny, and it fits well with how comedic the story is overall. Also, the way she’s so willing to act is probably why people remember her as a badass in it. Because she does talk like a badass, but she’s not one because her actions don’t follow suit. Still, I don’t take that comic much seriously so Peach is definitely very fun in it, and that’s enough for me. And again, that comic does a good job at showing that Peach’s biggest strength isn’t her ability to fight, it’s her wit and good heart, shown respectively with her tower escape and her constant desire to actively help.

Also, about this comic and how people see it, even outside of the fact they’re not the same as she doesn’t know how to fight in it, I find it really weird that this comic is used as proof that Movie Peach is in character, considering how 1. Before the movie, this comic was the only time in over dozens of portrayals that Peach was shown as confrontational; in statistics we call that an outlier, 2. This comic was made in the 90s, you’d think a more recent portrayal could be used as proof but nope, Luigi’s Mansion 3 and Showtime are still different from her comic and even more so her movie self, and 3. That comic is outdated anyways considering the Koopalings are said to be Bowser’s kids in it, so unless Nintendo came back on their words after re-releasing this comic in the late 2010s, it’s still outdated.

The mainline games are...the mainline games. I’d also put the second Paper Mario trilogy and Luigi’s Mansion 3 in the same basket. When she’s on-screen, Peach is her usual sweet self, but those games also suffer from barely giving her any time to shine. I do enjoy her depiction in games like Odyssey, Mansion 3 and the intro of 3D World (mostly because those cutscenes are cute), but again all those games definitely suffer from having her on the back-burner for pretty much the whole thing, and are the main reason why people dislike her character.

I also can’t help but wonder if Sunshine is the reason why she’s seen as a “dumb bimbo” by some people, especially given the “Mama Peach” trainwreck of a cutscene. And I will say, Peach definitely feels very meek in this game. She clearly can tell that something’s off, yet she barely insists on telling Mario and Toadsworth. You’d think a princess would be more assertive than that, especially when the Mario and Luigi games show that she’s not afraid to go against Toadsworth’s wishes.

Going back to the kidnapping issue, ultimately I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with her being kidnapped, especially when it’s impossible in the mainline games to beat Bowser directly without a power up (the intro of Odyssey straight-up shows that Mario can’t win against Bowser in a fist fight) meaning it’s normal for Peach to be unable to fight back easily. Bowser is incredibly powerful all things considered (enormous physical strength, fire breath, every part of his body is a weapon, can use magic, necromancer, can jump incredibly high, has an army at his disposal, his car clown heavily negates his slow walking speed), to the point where even Mario and Luigi are kidnapped sometimes (Super Princess Peach, 3D Land for Luigi, and while it’s not Bowser, Luigi’s Mansion for Mario too). This also all kind of leads into a message about working better together or how it’s okay to ask for help, which reminds me of that Tumblr post about how Mario never travels alone.

That being said, Nintendo should definitely either do something similar to Paper 64 (or at least what 3D Land did with the letters showing her try to escape, that’s already a start), either have her only kidnapped in specific games like the big 3D games the same way Luigi isn’t playable in almost all of those, or reinforce her role in other Mario series like making Showtime the first of several games + bring her back under the spotlight in the Paper Mario series. Again, when thinking of Luigi and his time under the spotlight, you can definitely do a similar work-around where she still gets kidnapped in some games while being playable in others, whether those others are different game series or for example around half of the upcoming 2D platformers.

And call me an ass for that but, while I’d love to have her playable in almost if not every 2D platformer, I still maintain that the big 3D games should keep having her getting kidnapped. Again, outside of Galaxy (and even then for the first one it was very conditional), Luigi doesn’t show up in those either. And if you maintain a good balance between her being kidnapped in the big 3D games + a handful of 2D platformers all while making her a major character in the RPGs and even getting her own series, you’re basically keeping the status quo of the kidnappings all while removing the issue of a lack of screentime.

(Note that my main “issue” with having less kidnappings has to do with Bowser’s character. If Bowser doesn’t kidnap Peach, you need another excuse for him to be the villain. And given how his crush on Peach, the main reason why he kidnaps her, is the first thing used to make him more of a softie which I love him being, I don’t want to see him do more and more messed up things all while his crush gets forgotten. Then again, him being a dad is currently the main thing Nintendo uses to make him a softie, and Origami King still showcased his crush despite him being a teammate, with the two upcoming RPG remakes following the same trend)

Not very much to say about her depiction in the sports and party games. The characters don’t exactly have much personalities here, so other than more proof on how her body language should be, there isn’t really anything to say in terms of “I like/dislike the way they portrayed this character”...also I don’t own a single sports game and only have like 3 party games (DS, Island Tour and Super) so outside of watching the cutscenes there’s not much I know about those games.

Conclusion

Edit: Ended up making a table explaining the differences so putting it there as a good way to wrap up the comparison. While I won’t edit that part of the post as it’s a small thing, note that I ended up considering Movie Peach as not being someone who gets angry as all her “angry” moments are her being serious, and she also doesn’t come off as a stubborn person as she doesn’t have to argue in her choices and doesn’t have moments where people tell her something’s a bad idea yet she does it anyways.

+ Huge difference in body language, mannerisms and facial expressions

+ Huge difference in voice if you want to take it into consideration

+ Slight difference in facial structure if you want to take it into consideration

Finally, a few closing thoughts about this whole thing, and more specifically the fact that one of my two biggest issues is her fighting abilities. Thing is, when you look at her jumping on enemies in the platformer games, her abilities in the sport games, the fact she’s in Smash and the upcoming Showtime game, it’s very easy to disprove my arguments, since Games Peach very much knows how to defend herself. And while I maintain that she’s not that great of a fighter in the games compared to the movie and is more of a pacifist, I understand this view. And thinking about it more, I think the true issue with her movie self is the attitude Illuminations has about it.

As said much earlier, it feels like Illuminations doesn’t like Peach in the games. I also think I’ve seen somewhere that her VO made a comment in an interview about finally giving Peach some personality, something along those lines? Then there’s also the supposedly original script where Peach was the main character, and how Nintendo told Illuminations to rewrite it upon reading it.

And even outside of the production info, that disdain over her Games character is all over the movie. Toad keeps hyping her up, along with other characters. During the training montage, when she does the demonstration, the camera slows down to show just how “cool” and “badass” she is. You get the vibe that, even if Mario wasn’t here, she still would’ve gotten the Kong army and taken on Bowser all by herself. There really are moments where it feels like the movie is going “Hey look at what we did with Peach! Isn’t she awesome! Isn’t she so much better than that wimp that keeps getting captured!” The best example of that is when she saves Toad on Rainbow Road. Like, this was the worst offender for me.

Princess Peach Showtime, on the other hand, gets who Peach is. The intro shows her going on a stroll with her little pink parasol. She cowers when Stella uses magic on her. And while she has a swordfighter and Kung Fu outfits, said outfits are given just as much importance as her baking and detective outfits, the former showcasing the one hobby Peach has been into for years, and the latter showing off her intelligence. And even outside of those outfits, her main attack is magic, more specifically a cute little pink ribbon. Also, like mentioned way earlier, the fact that it takes place on a stage gives the impression that Peach is playing roles, though again it doesn’t diminish her abilities.

I think that’s why I can’t stand her fight-oriented attitude in the movie but can’t wait to play Showtime. The movie looks down on Peach’s character and feels the need to “improve” it by changing many things about her, while Showtime embraces who she is and simply expands on it by giving her a more action-oriented role with the abilities she already possesses. I think that’s also why her body language in the movie bothers me, as it goes into that direction of “making her stronger” by removing her mannerisms. Now, again, there are a few more things other than her fighting abilities that they did wrong with her character, there’s a reason this post is so long after all. But by the end of it, I think it really comes down to how much disdain Illuminations has for Peach.

And on that note, you have no idea how relieved I was when the first trailer for Showtime dropped and Peach was her normal self! While I know the movie is going to get sequels, meaning we’ll keep seeing this random badass woman cosplaying as Peach, it’s at least very relieving to know Nintendo is going to keep writing Peach the way they’ve always done. And I can’t wait to see what Nintendo got in store for this wonderful, adorable, hyperfeminine, incredibly kind, witty, soft, cake-loving pink Princess!

Thanks for reading!

(All pictures were taken from the Mario Wiki except the first one that’s from the 86 Anime and the Mario Odyssey one)

[youunravelme]

nothing happened in the way i wanted part 1

author's note: okay so let it be known that my FAV emily henry book is happy place (if you want a deep dive into my personality, if you want to know the inner workings of my mind, read the book) SO with that being said, this fic was inspired by that masterpiece. plus i've fallen down a matt rabbit hole as of late. just a warning, this is a LONG ass fic (74 pages and 30.3k words, not a brag, i kinda regret that it's this long bc my brain hurts) so pace yourselves okay? thank you for being the kindest people ever!! this is finished, but tumblr said what i wrote is too long. so i'm posting it in parts lolol.

summary: a year has passed and you are no closer to understanding why matt ended things and you have every plan of avoiding that thought until he comes back in town for the offseason, then suddenly he's everywhere.

pairing: matthew tkachuk x reader

warnings: ANGST, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, mention of sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, drinking, depression, panic attacks, let me know if i missed something!

after

despite being back in st. louis for six months, summer still felt like it came too fast. your thighs started sticking to the seats from sweat about three weeks ago. summer used to be your favorite season because it meant you had unlimited access to the love of your life, you weren’t sharing him with his teammates or his crazy schedule.

but he wasn’t yours anymore. matthew hadn’t been yours in six months and some change.

the second you entered your parents’ home, you tossed your keys into the bowl and slid your shoes off. it’d been six months since you moved home, and it still didn’t feel like a space where you belonged. you walked into the living room without so much as a hello from either of your parents, both of whom were posted up on the couch. they weren’t talking to each other, just letting the noise from the news fill the room instead of conversation.

“hey,” you greeted, plopping down in the recliner.

“how was work?” your mom asked.

you shrugged, not quite having the words to convey how mundane it had been. you were working on restoring a piece for this rich couple who lived in the same neighborhood as the tkachuks. it wasn’t in too bad of shape, given the fact that you were the one entrusted to work on it. if it was actually something incredibly complicated, your boss would’ve found someone else more experienced to do it.

when you entered art restoration and conservation, you thought it would be mindless. art had always been an escape for you, a chance to remove yourself from your racing thoughts. you thought that by entering the art conservation field, you could add onto something, enhance the beauty that was lost over the years of damage, instead of creating something from your own experiences.

but no one told you how hard it would be after your breakup, that you would have to learn how to pour bottles of chemical solvent into a glass when your eyes were blurring with tears. no one said anything about how you would spend hours hunched over, fixing the problems in paintings that only served to remind you that while you could mend a masterpiece, you were unable to stop and patch up the problems in your relationship. no one spoke about how you would inevitably relate to the paintings that came to you in shambles, the only difference being that clients would pay thousands of dollars for their paintings to be restored to their former glory, your ex let you fall apart alone in a city where you had no friends outside of the ones you’d made through him.

but how could you communicate that to your mother? to your father? both of whom stayed in an unhappy marriage for the sake of optics? how could you tell them that it’s been months and you were still no more over your ex than the day it ended? how could they understand you? they stayed together out of convenience, out of a fear of ending their marriage only to never find someone else.

it had been six months since your relationship ended, and you were no closer to understanding why.

“just a mundane day,” was all you said instead. “nothing to write home about.”

both of your parents hummed.

“did you have dinner already?” you asked.

“was gonna order pizza,” your dad said.

your mother scoffed and rolled her eyes. “no alan, we had plans to see chantal and keith tonight for dinner.”

you wanted to throw up.

you weren’t sure what you were expecting, maybe some loyalty from your parents? though, they weren’t fully privy to all the information about the demise of your relationship with matt, so maybe you couldn’t expect them to stop hanging out with his parents, especially when said parents were such great people.

“oh,” was all you could say.

“you’re more than welcome to order takeout and watch a movie,” your mom commented, like you needed permission to make yourself at home when you were actively living there. “i’m sure ronald would appreciate your company.”

you glanced at the tabby cat who was perched on his cat tree. personally, you had no issue with ronald, but he liked your mom and your mom only. though on occasion, he would allow your dad to pet him. 

“i’ll figure something out,” you said.

your mom hummed before she stood up to go get ready while your father stayed on the couch. it was only another ten minutes before he got up to change quickly, and another five before they left the house without so much as a goodbye.

before

you were incredibly aware that you didn’t quite fit in. your mom drove you to school in a beat up 1997 toyota camry which looked incredibly out of place among the bmws and audis. your mom offered to walk you in, but she was wearing her scrubs from her night shift and her face looked tired, so you declined the offer and got out of the car yourself.

it shouldn’t have been as daunting as it was, but your old school wasn’t as prestigious as this one. your previous schools in cedar rapids had been public schools. no one was wearing a uniform, and most of the backpacks worn came from the same walmart in your old neighborhood. 

but your parents had decided they wanted a better education for you, even if neither of them had the money to fork out thousands of dollars for a private school. your mom’s parents, however, were loaded. they were more than willing to fork out a small fortune for your schooling under the conditions of your family uprooting your lives to missouri. you were too young to realize what a sacrifice that was, you didn’t notice the snide comments your grandparents made about your father’s choice of career or your mother’s choice in husband.

you didn’t see your grandparents any more than you usually did since you’d moved to missouri two weeks ago. they’d been out of town on a trip to rome up until three days ago and hadn’t reached out to have dinner or hang out at all.

not that you cared at the age of nine, you were more focused on unpacking your room. but now that you were standing in front of the giant school alone, you felt like you should’ve been more concerned with how nice your school supplies were.

a kind woman greeted you at the entrance of the school. she smiled and introduced herself, though you couldn’t hear her over the roaring in your ears. she stood next to a blond haired blue eyed boy who was your height.

“are your parents here?” you weren’t sure how you heard her over the noise in your head.

you shook your head. “my mom had to go home and my dad is at work.”

the woman blinked. “is today your first day?”

“mom, it’s everyone’s first day of school,” the boy groaned.

“i wasn’t talking to you, matthew,” she said, though her eyes never left your own.

“i just moved here,” was all you said, albeit a bit quietly. 

“well, you can walk in with us.” She placed a warm hand on your back and ushered you inside next to her son.

you took notice of her nicer clothing compared to your mom’s scrubs or your dad’s tattered khakis, though the woman’s clothing wasn’t as ostentatious as other parents’.

“do you know your teacher’s name?” the woman asked.

you nodded and showed her the crumpled paper in your hand. the night before, you were wracked with nerves and wrote your teacher’s on a blank sheet of paper and doodled around it. even at nine years old, you were concerned that you’d somehow forget. you couldn’t be more grateful for it now.

the woman’s face lit up. “oh how lucky! matthew look! you’re in the same class.”

matthew for his part, tried to look happy about it, but his eyes kept wandering to the hallways, like he was looking for people he knew. you felt bad for even being in this situation. you missed your friends from iowa and the light up shoes you used to wear before you were given a uniform.

matthew’s mom pointed out the classroom that was supposed to be yours and walked both you and matthew into the room. unlike her son, who immediately found his friends to do elaborate handshakes with, you stayed by her side. she was a stranger, sure, but she was more comforting that the classroom of fifteen other nine and ten year olds.

the woman sighed and bent down a little to look you in the eyes. “it’s gonna be a good day, sweetheart,” she said. “mr. terry is a great teacher, he’s really kind.” you weren’t sure how she would know that, but you weren’t going to call her a liar. “and if you need anything, ask matthew. he’s been going here since kindergarten, okay?”

you nodded.

mr. terry walked over and introduced himself. he had dark skin and a bright smile, showing you to your seat. your name was on a card with fun stickers on it. next to your seat, you saw matthew’s name. now it wasn’t necessarily an unpopular name, there were three matthews in your third grade class, so you weren’t holding out hope that it was going to be the matthew you walked into class with. but two minutes later, he was plopping down into the seat to your left.

matthew looked almost startled to see you sitting next to him, but when the shock wore off he gave you a crooked smile and stuck his hand out. “i’m matt,” he said, like you two didn’t walk into class together.

you shook his hand anyway and gave him a shy smile and told him your name, just in case he didn’t see it written on your desk.

if it was even possible, his smile widened. “pretty name,” he said.

after

you’d watched a movie and half of another one by the time your parents walked through the front door. ronald jumped off the couch to greet your mother while he ignored your father.

“oh,” your dad said. “you’re still up.”

“i’m about to go to bed,” you replied, though you didn’t move from the couch.

“dinner was great,” your mom commented. “chantal and keith said to tell you hello.”

your gut twisted at the mention of their names. you loved his family, you really did, but the mention of the family that was almost yours stung when you looked at how your parents acted like roommates on the best of days.

you remembered summer days spent in the tkachuks’ backyard, watching as matt and brady chased each other while taryn tried her best to keep up. you remembered your dad picking you up from their house, and how you begged the entire ride home for a little brother or sister. he looked at your through the rearview mirror and said “we already achieved perfection, why mess that up?”

but you were grown now. you saw how their marriage barely survived raising you, and they were probably being smart by not risking your upbringing just to have another child.

you bid your parents goodnight and headed up the stairs to your childhood bedroom. it looked less like the office it was converted into when you moved out originally. you didn’t fault your parents for taking advantage of your absence, you, like many people your age, had zero intentions of ever moving back in until an unfortunate set of circumstances happened to you.

and that’s what life had felt like lately:

unfortunate.

unfortunate shit just happening to you.

it wasn't late by any means, but you were surprised when your phone vibrated with a text message. maybe it was the fact that you hadn’t really befriended anyone since moving back that had you flinching at the shock of someone other than your parents (or grandparents) texting you.

you unlocked your phone and opened the message, sighing when you read its contents.

emma:

hey girl! just checking in to see if you’re still good for this weekend? no worries if you can’t make it!

you dropped the phone on your stomach and groaned into your hands as soon as they made contact with your face.

years of dating matthew meant you’d grown closer to brady and taryn and by proxy, brady’s fiancée, emma. you’d already committed to being a bridesmaid and bought the dress before your relationship with matt ended. when emma found out, she called immediately and gave you an out, said she wouldn’t take it personal, that she understood if it would be too hard.

but you remembered the countless conversations had about planning your weddings while the both of you watched the loves of your lives try not to kill each other from your spots on the back porch. and you could hear it in her voice, how much it meant to her that you would be there even if she didn’t want to push it on you. it didn’t matter that only one of you was getting the wedding you planned. the bets made on who’d get married first were obsolete now.

you wanted to text her back and say you were busy, but you hadn’t seen her much since her and brady came back in town. when the senators’ season ended in april, he and emma spent some time with her family and attended the playoff games for the panthers. now that the panthers’ season ended two weeks ago, all of the tkachuks were back in town which used to excite you.

now it just filled you with dread.

no, it’s not like you lived in the same tax bracket as matt’s family. you didn’t go to the same grocery stores unless you were tagging along. no, there was a comfortable distance between your neighborhoods and st. louis was filled with two million other people that the odds of running into him were slim.

but your anxiety preferred zero odds rather than a slight chance, and it made the logic that was once screaming at you sound like a small whisper.

you sucked it up anyway, though. seeing emma and the other bridesmaids was better than staying in your room and staring at the ceiling.

you:

i’ll be there! can’t wait!!!

and maybe you used too many exclamation points. maybe you were trying too hard to prove something no one would believe if they took longer than a split second glance at your face. you were a horrible liar, that hadn’t changed. you were just hoping by the time the weekend came around, you’d be too busy to focus on any of the pain.

before

the summer after keith retired, the tkachuks took you and your family on vacation with them to turks and caicos. your parents were stressed initially about the trip, but you were filled with nothing but excitement at leaving the landlocked state you called home.

missouri had slowly wormed its way into your heart. when your family moved, there was never a thought in your mind that you would ever come to love it like you did with cedar rapids. there was no way you’d ever consider this place your home. but then you met the tkachuks.

it’d been nearly three years since you’d first sat in that seat next to your best friend in mr. terry’s fourth grade class. now, you were splashing around in the waves with matt and brady while your parents looked from the shore.

school had been different the past two years, with matthew going to an all boys school after fifth grade while you stayed. it took some adjusting to being without him the entire school day. you didn’t want to think of yourself as codependent, or clingy, but mat was your best friend. it was an adjustment, having to make new friends in the same school.

now that wasn’t to say that you never saw matt. after your initial introductions, chantal offered to take you to and from school if your mom or dad dropped you off at their house in the morning. both of your parents jumped at the idea. your mother, who worked as a night shift ICU nurse, reveled in being able to go home and go straight to sleep. your father, whose job as an electrician required him to be on job sites early in the morning, didn’t mind it either, he had to be up early anyway.

and sure, you had to wake up earlier than you used to, but you got to eat breakfast and pretend like you were a tkachuk most days of the week (with the exception of the days your mom was off). keith would ruffle your hair as he passed you in the kitchen. taryn would race matthew for the seat next to yours.

the tkachuks felt more like your family than your own some days.

especially now when your parents went on a date that keith and chantal paid for while they stayed back at the beach house with you and their children. 

all six of you were seated around the coffee table with the game of life laid out in front of you. the evening started out with a game of uno, but that game got out of hand quickly. it took brady reversing the order and hitting matt with a draw four before your best friend lunged over the table to tackle his brother. while keith broke up the boys, chantal cleaned up uno and instructed you and taryn to pick out the least competitive game you could find.

which is how you ended up playing the game of life.

even though life had to be the least competitive game you knew, matt and brady still managed to argue over it, even going as far to rant about how unfair it was that they had to pay for home insurance. keith and chantal had just chuckled and told them to enjoy childhood while it lasted.

you found yourself smiling and laughing along.

you weren’t quite sure who won, or how anyone ever really wins the game of life, but the moment mattered more. taryn went upstairs with keith to get ready for bed while brady helped his mom in the kitchen pop a bag of popcorn. you and matthew were responsible for cleaning up the game.

“are you having fun?” he asked.

your smile was so wide, it hurt your cheeks. “i’m having the best time. this is by far the best vacation i’ve been on.”

“really?” he smiled.

you nodded emphatically. “most of my family vacations have been spent with my grandparents.”

matt grimaced, already aware of the testy relationship your mom had with her own parents. “when’s the last time you saw them?”

you had to think for a moment, while your grandparents technically lived in st. louis, they were often out of town or ignoring your family’s existence altogether. with the exception of the last saturday of every month, when you and your parents were practically obligated to eat dinner with them. you didn’t notice their judgmental comments when you were younger and mesmerized by the giant dollhouse they bought for you.

but you were older now. you knew that there were terms and conditions attached to the cellphone they bought for you on your twelfth birthday. you heard the disdain in their voices when they talked down to your father and mother for their life choices. you weren’t an idiot, you understood that every compliment they gave you was a way for them to make your parents feel inferior in comparison.

you weren’t a child to them, you were a pawn in a game you never asked to play.

“we saw them about a month ago?” you shrugged. “they’re on vacation until halfway through august.”

matt hummed. “i think we’re gonna visit mom’s parents before school starts back again.”

to your credit, you did your best to look happy for him, even if it meant that you wouldn’t see him for a week and a half. you had other friends in town! in fact, you befriended a girl named simone when you started middle school. maybe you could call her when you get back to st. louis?

evidently, your little act wasn’t convincing enough. matt nudged your shoulder with his. “you’ll be fine,” he said. “you’re probably annoyed from how much time we’ve spent together this summer. you need a break.”

you couldn’t help but smile. “i could never get tired of you, matty.”

he blinked, almost at a loss for words, it felt like. but you should’ve known better, because he was holding up his pinky a beat later. “you promise?”

you locked your fingers together. “promise.”

after

it’s just emma and her friends and taryn, you thought. you already know all of these people. there’s no reason to be stressed out.

which, to be fair, your inner monologue was right. you had absolutely no reason to be standing in front of your closet debating what to wear for as long as you had. 

before you could stop yourself, you were hitting emma’s contact and putting your phone on speaker. the dial tone rang out through the room while you waited for her to pick up. you were seconds away from ending the call when her phone sounded through the receiver.

“hey! what’s up?”

you exhaled. “i don’t know what to wear tonight.”

emma said your name through a laugh. “we’re not going anywhere fancy, i swear. it’s just dinner and then we’re going to a bar.”

you frowned. “so taryn’s not joining us after dinner?”

“no, she has other plans after dinner anyway. she said she was meeting up with some friends from high school.” as if she could see the hesitance on your face, emma spoke up again. “but you know all the other girls, it’s not like you’ll be hanging out with strangers.”

and she was right, you were in a groupchat with the other bridesmaids and found all of them to be quite pleasant.

“look, if you’re still stressed about what to wear, just wear jeans.”

“okay, but how nice is this restaurant?” you were rummaging through your closet. “because i’ve worn jeans to restaurants that weren’t supposed to be fancy and i found myself criminally underdressed.”

“yeah well, i’m better at communicating than matt is.” a gasp sounded through the receiver, like emma had just realized what she said. “oh my god, i’m so sorry—”

“it’s fine, you’re not wrong,” you said, forcing out a laugh even as your heart painfully squeezed in your chest.

“i really didn’t mean to,” she sighed. “i’m sorry, that was rude of me to bring up.”

you shook your head even though she couldn’t see you. “it’s fine, emma, i swear,” you said even though there were tears pricking in your eyes. “i’ll have to face the music eventually.”

“still, it was insensitive of me to say that.”

you cleared your throat. “don’t worry about it, i’m a big girl.” you pulled the phone away from your face so you could sniffle for a second without drawing any unnecessary attention. “so jean shorts tonight?” you asked.

there was a brief silence before you heard emma’s soft sigh over the phone. “that sounds perfect.”

before

matthew kissed you for the first time when you were hanging out with mutual friends after school in eighth grade. you’d been dreaming about that moment for years ever since sixth grade when you realized matt was handsome and the flutters in your stomach weren’t just from nerves anymore.

both of you were at your friend morgan’s house sitting in her basement. she happened to live in the same neighborhood as matt. so after school, you rode home with the tkachuks like you always did and then walked to her house.

morgan was the first of your friends to get a boyfriend and she wasn’t shy about telling everyone. it was easy to be jealous of her. while you hadn’t known her as long, your other friends had made it clear she’d garnered male attention since preschool. so there was no surprise that she’d announced at school earlier that week that she was dating someone from matt’s school.

hence the party in the basement.

morgan was the one who suggested truth or dare. she had all ten of you circle up on the carpet and sit criss crossed. you were keenly aware of how matt’s knee was touching your own, you could feel the heat even through your jeans. he was leaning back on his hands, with his right hand directly behind your back,in your delusions, you let yourself pretend he was doing it to be closer to you.

“alright!” morgan cheered. “who wants to start?”

no one said a word.

you made the mistake of looking around when you caught morgan’s eye. at the sight of a growing smirk on her lips, you quickly diverted your gaze.

“c'mon, no one wants to go first?” she hummed. “fine, i’ll go. babe,” she started calling thomas babe a week ago. “ask me, truth or dare?”

the only word you could use to describe the look on thomas’ face was besotted. without hesitating, he asked her the question, smiling when she grinned back at him. morgan chose dare, because she wasn’t “boring and lame.”

thomas dared her to kiss him. there was a collective groan when she leaned over and kissed her boyfriend. the second she pulled back, morgan’s eyes flitted over the rest of the group, looking like a tiger about to pounce. the two of you made eye contact and the corner of her lips raised in a smirk that was gone as quick as it came.

you prepared yourself for the worst, recalling how you let it slip that you have a crush on matt. and morgan, while she wasn’t intentionally cruel, had all but shrieked when you told her. so you didn’t think she’d out you to be mean, you wouldn’t put it past her to attempt matchmaking.

but her eyes skipped right over you and focused on simone. “truth or dare?”

“truth,” simone replied.

morgan rolled her eyes. “nerd,” but she cracked a smile anyway.

the game went on pretty effortlessly, you even got brave enough to do a dare (thankfully morgan never got the opportunity to ask you). it ended with morgan asking matthew. the smirk she had earlier, appeared as she made eye contact with you before setting her sights on your best friend.

“truth or dare?” she asked.

you immediately knew which option he was picking, matt never backed down from a challenge and had been choosing dare all night.

“matthew, i dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.”

your stomach dropped as did your gaze. you couldn’t look anyone in the eye, you didn’t want to see matt kiss another girl, you couldn’t. you wouldn’t do it.

a moment passed when you realized matt hadn’t moved an inch. he was still leaning on his hands, with one stretched behind you. all it took was a quick glance at matt to see him already staring back at you.

“no,” he said, eyes still locked on your face.

morgan blinked. “what?”

it was only then that his eyes left your face to look morgan dead in the eye. “nope. i won’t do it.”

she guffawed. “but you have to!”

matt shrugged. “i don’t want to.”

“but you lose if you don’t!”

he shrugged yet again. “oh well.”

your head snapped up to look at him in confusion. “matt,” you nudged him.

“we gotta go anyway,” he said, before he stood up and reached out to you. you took his hand, albeit hesitantly before he dragged you up the stairs and out of the house onto the street.

a cool breeze was blowing which inadvertently caused you to shiver. matt, who still hadn’t let go of your hand, tugged you further into his side. your heart sank when he dropped your hand, only for it to skyrocket when he threw his arm around you.

“why didn’t you do the dare?” you asked. the curiosity was killing you, even if you believed the real answer would be even worse than not knowing.

matt shrugged like he had been all night. “i didn’t feel like it.”

you blinked at him, staring at his profile while he guided the two of you back to his house. “you’re literally the most competitive person i know. you’ve never intentionally lost a game. last week brady dared you to drink that gallon of milk and run a mile, which, if i must remind you, you threw up not even halfway through.”

matt laughed. “that was funny. but what’s your point?”

“my point is that kissing someone is way less work than running a mile and throwing up. so what’s up?”

he wouldn’t look at you, his gaze fell to the ground where he kicked a rock. “didn’t want it to happen like that.”

you blinked at him, refusing to move your gaze from his profile. “didn’t want what to happen like that? it’s just a kiss.”

he shook his head and stopped walking, grabbing your wrist when you kept moving. matt tugged your arm so you’d turn around and look at him. “it wouldn’t be just a kiss,” he said.

“would it mean more?” you asked, but he didn’t say anything. “matt?” your heart was beating against your chest. your hands shook at the idea of him wanting to kiss someone. you went through the list of people in that room. it wasn’t morgan, he’d told you weeks ago that he didn’t like her like that when you asked. could it be simone? she looked like a goddess on a bad day. her dark skin was flawless and free of blemishes and her faux locs were always perfectly styled. she didn’t even wear makeup on a regular basis.

oh god. did he like simone?

your gut twisted at the idea, of him falling in love with the closest friend you had at school. you could learn to be happy for them, simone was great and matt would adore her if she agreed to go out with him.

you snapped back into it when you felt matt’s thumb rub across your pulse. “matt, would it mean more?”

he shrugged again, still not looking at you, just the part where your hands were joined. “would it be a problem if it did?”

now it was your turn to be confused. “why would my opinion matter? i’m not the one you’d be kissing.”

matt blinked at you once, then twice. “you can’t be serious,” he said.

“what do you mean?”

“you can’t be that blind. there’s no way.”

“matt, what are you talking about?”

he dropped your hand to run both of his over his face and groaned. “there's no way you don’t know.”

“know what?”

matt fixed you with an intense look, one that had you squirming in your shoes a little. in all your years of friendship, you weren’t sure he'd ever stared at you that way before. a hockey game? sure, but you?

“matt what—”

“i like you,” he said as plain as day, like he didn’t just flip your world on its axis.

you blinked, you were pretty sure you stopped breathing. “what?” you whispered.

matt stepped closer to you, close enough that your shoes were touching. “i like you.”

“so why didn’t you kiss me when morgan dared you to?”

“i didn’t want it to happen like that,” he admitted. “didn’t wanna kiss you in front of everybody.”

you could feel the heat travel up your neck and to your cheeks. “and what about now? would you kiss me now?”

“would you let me?”

words failed you, you could only nod. matt hesitated for a moment before pressing his lips to yours. it was clumsy and awkward, and in the middle of the sidewalk two blocks away from his house.

but it was perfect.

after

you ubered to the restaurant before emma could suggest meeting at the tkachuk house. every single one of the bridesmaids knew you and matt were no longer together, all of them banding around you and offering support from thousands of miles away. so you didn’t think any of them would even hint at meeting at the tkachuk residence if they were as considerate as you believed them to be, but you wanted to avoid the sympathetic looks that would be thrown your way.

most of the bridesmaids were there by the time you arrived, the only exception being taryn. the entire table greeted you with bright white smiles, emma stood to give you a hug that you enthusiastically returned.

it felt great to be back in the company of people your age. despite being back in st. louis for quite some time, you still had yet to make any more friends outside of emma and taryn, both of whom you didn’t see that often because of who they were relationally attached to.

unfortunately, you’d lost contact with many of your friends from high school because of the distance. if you could go back, you’d slap yourself in the face for thinking matt was going to stick around longer than simone or morgan.

but how were you to know he would leave and wouldn’t want you to follow him?

you swallowed that question down and took a seat at the table. you sat next to a brunette named stacey, the other seat on your right was left for taryn, you assumed. there were already two bottles of wine sitting in a bucket of ice on the table. part of you considered pouring yourself a glass immediately, but you remembered the plans were dinner first, bar later. so you settled for water.

it was only a matter of maybe ten minutes before taryn was led to your table. you stood up with the rest of the girls and waited your turn to hug her. taryn saved you for last, smiling bright and wide when the two of you finally made eye contact. you squeezed each other tightly as you hugged, unspoken words being communicated.

“now, before anyone looks at the menu, i just wanted to let you know, it’s on brady tonight.” emma held up her hand as mouths began to protest across the table. “he insisted, and we won’t be taking no for an answer.”

and maybe you should’ve protested a little harder to look more sincere, but your job wasn’t paying you well enough to afford a 70 dollar steak and drinks.

the table breaks up into mini conversations while everyone was looking over the menu. you were doing the same when an elbow nudged you from the right. you glanced over at taryn who wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that she wanted your attention, it was something you’d always admired about her.

“long time, no see,” she said. but before you could respond, she spoke up again. “how have you been?”

you shrugged and moved your eyes back to the menu to look busy. “nothing has been going on really, just working.” you cleared your throat and hesitantly made eye contact again. “and you? what have you been up to?”

taryn shifted in her seat, a tell you knew was coming. you weren’t a stranger to where she’d been the past few weeks, you still followed her on instagram, you followed all of the tkachuks on instagram, even matt. so you knew she’d just gotten back after the panthers lost in game five of the finals.

you nudged her with your shoulder and gave her a small smile. “it’s okay, i’m not gonna burst into tears if you mention him.”

taryn smiled. “i’m exhausted, we were traveling everywhere for matt it felt like. it was cutting into my workouts.”

your jaw clenched at the mention of his name, mainly to distract you from feeling the ache in your chest, but you kept a pleasant look on your face anyway. “you still have the rest of the summer for your workouts, though. summer’s barely started.”

taryn nodded but she didn’t say anything for a moment. you started to shift in your seat when she reached a hand out and squeezed your own. “i miss you,” she said sincerely. “it hasn’t been the same without you around.”

“taryn...”

“you know, you’re still in, like, most of our family photos hanging on the wall. mom and dad haven’t taken them down.”

you weren’t sure if that made you happy or brought you pain.

“i begged them not to, you’re in too many memories for us to just forget you.” she cleared her throat and looked back at her menu, giving you a break from the sincere staredown the two of you were having. “they ask about you all the time, but they didn’t want to impose, mom especially. said she’d understand if you never wanted to see them again.”

you tried reading the menu through blurry eyes and pinched your lips together so no one would see them tremble. “i’ve been meaning to get coffee with your mom,” you said, though you both knew it was a lie. you’d made yourself scarce for a reason.

“she’d be happy to see you again, she just didn’t want to overstep.”

you nodded, still not looking at the girl you fully believed would be your sister one day. “i’ll text her.”

the waiter came by moments later to take your orders. thankfully, the tears had cleared up out of your eyes. as soon as you’d cleared your throat, you were telling the server your order without your voice shaking.

you bore the grief well, you thought. you laughed when everyone else did, smiled when appropriate, and asked follow up questions. socializing wasn’t hard, years of galas and charity events as matt’s plus one had trained you well for moments like these, so long as you avoided the eyes of taryn and emma, both of whom knew you better than anyone else at the table.

emma paid with brady’s card like she’d promised earlier. unfortunately for you, that’s when the anxiety started to come back. taryn was leaving after dinner, too young to go to the bars with the rest of you, and according to what emma had told you, she had plans with friends.

the group left together, with taryn waving goodbye as the rest of you headed to a bar three blocks away. your hands were shaking, so you shoved them in your pockets to hide the trembling.

it’d get better once you got a few drinks in you, you told yourself. you’d loosen up soon enough.

emma opened a tab with brady’s card and you immediately started going in. the group started with a round of shots, but you were quickly ordering more than just tequila. it was only a matter of time before your vision started lagging and your brain began buffering to keep up with what was happening.

you were on the dance floor, grinding against a stranger, who thankfully, was keeping their hands to themselves, when emma tugged your arm, giggling. “everyone else has left. and i think it’s time for us to go,” she slurred, a giant smile on her face.

you allowed yourself to be tugged away from the stranger. “how do you know?” you asked, fumbling over your words like trying to catch a bar of soap with wet hands.

emma smiled and pointed at the bar where brady was, you assumed, closing out the tab. seeing him in the flesh had your heart stuttering. the anxiety was kicking back in, hitting harder than it did when you were sober. you hadn’t seen brady since november, or was it december? the months had blurred together just like that one scene from new moon.

but now you were seeing him in the flesh, and he was getting closer as emma tugged you over to where he was. brady was just slipping his card back in his wallet when the two of you got to him. he looked up and smiled at his fianceé before he even realized you were standing there. the lovesick smile dropped but it was quickly replaced with shock before it was transformed into a smile you could’ve painted from memory.

“hey!” he said just loud enough to be heard over the noise. “i didn’t think you were coming tonight.”

if you were sober, you’d see that statement as a warning, preparation for what was to come. you would’ve noticed the way his eyes kept darting to the entrance of the bar, but you didn’t. you were just happy to see him for the first time in a while, feeling the semblance of home you’d been missing for months.

if you were sober, you would’ve remembered that brady and his brother were a package deal. you would’ve known that the nights brady wasn’t spending with emma, he was spending with your ex, and when emma had inevitably texted (or brady offered) her fiancé to pick her up, that he was more than likely already out with his brother celebrating his upcoming nuptials.

if you were sober, you would’ve noticed him walk through the door because your eyes were always drawn to him. you would’ve known it was him by the smell of his cologne, instead of waiting for him to slap his brother on the shoulder in greeting.

if you were sober, you would’ve made a break for it the second he started approaching you, emma, and brady.

but you were drunk off your ass, and all you could do was stand there like a dumbfounded idiot while matthew brendan tkachuk glanced around the room.

brady shifted on his feet a little, bracing for the moment you both knew was coming. the moment where matt saw you for the first time since november 29, when he played calgary. you’d imagine to brady, it felt like watching a car accident happen in real time. to you though, you were the accident. you were the one getting hit by a bus going full speed. you were rooted to the spot, taking in every feature of matt’s face that you’d missed over the last six months, waiting for him to see you.

if you were sober, you would’ve run away by now, knowing that being that close to him would do nothing for you.

but it was too late now.

matt finally glanced at emma, then brady, until his eyes landed on you. the smile on his lips from the song that was bumping through the speakers dropped almost immediately. he recoiled, took a small step back, almost as if he was shocked to see you there at all.

you felt like an idiot.

you weren’t sure how long the two of you stared at each other before you took a deep breath and stared at your shoes.

your hands were shaking again.

you shoved them in your pockets again.

matt’s eyes darted to your shorts at the movement, his eyes scrunched together in what looked like concern, but you brushed that thought off before you could convince yourself he still cared. but you could feel his stare on you, even as you looked around and avoided eye contact. you felt like an ant, with matt’s gaze being the magnifying glass that was burning you with a beam of sunlight.

“do you have a ride home?” brady asked. your head whipped back around to look at him and emma.

you shrugged, already feeling more sober than you were two minutes ago. “was gonna uber.”

matt scoffed. “not happening.”

out of nowhere anger bubbled out of your chest and out of your mouth. “excuse me?”

matt fixed you with a hard stare, one you didn’t shy away from. “you’re not ubering home on a friday night drunk as hell. it’s not happening.”

“i think you lost the right to make my decisions six months ago.” you refused to say his name, refused to know what it felt like to have it back on your tongue even though your heart was crying out to utter those two syllables again.

brady interjected before the disagreement could escalate. “i just wanna make sure you get home safe,” he said. “can i drive you home?”

you glanced at the man you used to know like a little brother. you saw the sincerity in his eyes, the concern.

and maybe it was the love for brady and emma that had you accepting. or maybe it was the alcohol. you nodded your head and let emma lock arms with you as you were led out by the tkachuk brothers.

you found yourself in the backseat where you used to hold hands with matt when you went on double dates with brady and emma. the two of you used to tease the younger couple when they did literally anything romantic. if brady so much as grabbed emma’s hand, the two of you were gagging in the backseat “choking on their pda” all while knowing brady and emma have caught you in more compromising positions before.

but it wasn’t like that this time around.

you slid into your usual seat in the back before emma could offer up shotgun to you. maybe if you were more selfish, you’d accept, but you weren’t going to let your friend sit away from her fiancé when you could just suck it up.

the space between you and matt felt too suffocatingly small and yet it still felt like you were on two opposite sides of the globe. you thought about taking a risk and throwing yourself out of the moving vehicle, but there was still a wedding you were both in. you needed to figure out how to tolerate being around him if you didn’t want to cause a scene later in the summer.

you just had to make it to the end of july, then you could go back and pretend like december 16th never happened, like the past nine years of your life never happened. like you never fell in love with your best friend, like you never met him and his mother in fourth grade, like your parents never moved you to st. louis. like there weren’t traces of your failed relationship in every scrapbook in your parents’ house, like he wasn’t tied to every significant moment of your childhood.

you felt like the bundle of christmas lights that you’d sworn you put back in an orderly fashion the previous year, only to pull them out and realize you had an entire project on your hands to detangle them all.

except in the end, none of the lights worked anyway.

you could hardly remember a time where your life wasn’t deeply intertwined with matthew’s. you thought it’d lead to something, to marriage, to raising kids together, to celebrating his retirement, buying a home close to his family, and growing fat and old together.

you hated the idea that you went down that road only for it to be a dead end.

brady pulled up outside your house. you were unbuckling your seat belt and throwing the door open before he’d even put the car in park. you were doing your best to get to the front porch before anything else happened, but as hard as you tried, you were still a little too drunk. you were stumbling up the driveway and to the front door, all the while trying to figure out which key was the key to your house.

a car door slammed in the distance before footsteps followed.

you knew the sound like you knew the sound of your mother’s sadness. you would’ve recognized his footfalls anywhere.

in your haste and anxiety, you dropped your keys. you squatted down and nearly tipped over at the rush to your head. matt’s hand shot out before you could grab the keys while his other hand grabbed your elbow and pulled you into a standing position. he led you to the front door and with ease, found your house key. he unlocked the door but didn’t move to open it. you could feel his stare on the side of your face, but you refused to look back.

his touch on your skin felt like it was burning, and part of you wanted to rip your arm out of his grasp, but you couldn’t.

you just—

couldn't.

matt said your name quietly, but you just shook your head, willing the tears to go away. he didn’t get to see you cry, didn’t get to know that his actions had absolutely wrecked you. he tried again, but you inhaled and jerked your arm out of his reach before you opened your front door, grabbed your keys, and shut it in his face.

you barely made it into your bathroom before you threw up.

before

you were bouncing on your toes at the airport. matt’s plane landed fifteen minutes ago, and you were anxiously waiting for him to round the corner.

matt’s first year with the ntdp made your relationship a little difficult, though, you thought it would be harder than it was. modern technology definitely made it easier on you. matt would call you just about every other night, and if he couldn’t, matt was texting you whenever he had the freetime.

the last time you saw each other was when you and the tkachuks spent your spring break in ann arbor to visit, and that had been over a month ago. thankfully, you’d managed to convince your mom to let you check out of school early to wait for him.

“someone’s excited,” taryn teased, bumping her shoulder into your side. 

“honey leave her alone,” chantal chided. “we’re all excited.”

“i’m not,” brady grumbled. not even a beat later, keith was slapping the back of his head.

moments later, matt walked around the corner with his bags in hand. you fought every urge to run to him, deciding he probably wanted to greet his family first. and he did, you watched as he hugged his mom and dad first, moving the taryn, before punching brady in the shoulder.

you were nervously playing with the hem of your school issued plaid skirt as you looked on, suddenly feeling out of place. but it didn’t linger because in a blink of an eye, matt’s arms were wrapping around your waist and tugging you into his chest.

a sigh escaped your lips, one you didn’t even know was held hostage in your chest. maybe you were being dramatic (you were almost 16, after all), but it felt like the part of you that was missing was just returned.

“missed you,” he mumbled into your neck.

you couldn’t help the smile that graced your lips.

matt didn’t let go of you, even when everyone started walking towards the car where keith parked. your hand was tightly grasped in his own, forcing brady to carry the other bag matt couldn’t. to make up for it, you offered to sit in the back of keith’s escalade so brady could have more leg room. matt ended up grumbling about it, but it was clear he wasn’t going to let you sit in the back next to taryn when he hadn’t seen you in weeks.

“i ruined my perfect attendance streak for you,” you said as you traced the veins of his hands.

matt smirked. “i messed up little miss perfect’s squeaky clean record? how will you ever get into college now?”

you ripped your hand from his and shoved his shoulder, barely restraining yourself from cussing him out. “shut up,” was what you settled for because while taryn and brady had most definitely heard their fair share of curse words, you didn’t want to be the one on the receiving end of chantal’s disapproving look, even if it meant keith would be fighting for his life to hold back laughter.

all four of you, keith and chantal excluded, all but scrambled out of the car when it pulled into the garage. you and matt grabbed both of his bags before bum rushing into the house and up the stairs to his room.

“leave the door open!” chantal called from the first floor.

you didn’t need to see his face to know matt was rolling his eyes.

“i’m tempted to ignore her and just slam and lock the door,” he grumbled.

you dropped the bag you were holding and guffawed. “you wouldn’t. you love your mom.”

matt dropped his bag and immediately took the opportunity to grab you by the waist. “and i love you.”

you almost giggled, but you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself so you beamed instead. the first time he said those words was a few months ago over facetime and it still made you giddy as it did then.

matt pressed his forehead against yours. “you’re not gonna say it back?” he asked.

you blinked, still smiling. “what?”

“you're not gonna say you love me back?”

you shrugged, knowing it would get under his skin. you knew the consequences. “hm,” you hummed. “do i need to?”

matt rolled his eyes so hard you thought they might’ve gotten stuck in the back of his head. “quit being smart.”

and maybe you should’ve given up, maybe you should’ve let it go and say those three little words you’d said countless times before. but teasing him was way too much fun to pass up when you hadn’t seen him in months. so you pursed your lips and hummed again. “i seem to recall you saying you liked how smart i am. something about being the beauty and the brains?”

and out of nowhere, taryn popped her head in. “well matt for sure wasn’t going to be the beauty, and he’s never been the brains,” she smirked.

matt let go of you and marched over to the door, all but slamming it in her face.

“matthew brendan tkachuk! that door better be open!” chantal’s voice carried up the stairs had you lunging across the room and whipping open the door in a hurry.

“sorry mrs. tkachuk!” you called out before turning around and glaring at your boyfriend. “you’re a menace.”

matthew smirked and pulled you close enough that you were chest to chest. “but you love me.”

“i love you so much.”

after

the hangover you had the next morning was probably the worst you ever remember having. well, until you remembered the night matt broke up with you, that was the worst one.

you turned over in bed, picked up your phone, and saw multiple texts from emma and brady alike, both ranging from “it was great to see you” to “i’m so sorry about last night.” you groaned and dropped your phone back on the nightstand.

last night, when you thought about it, hurt more than it should’ve. you saw him for the first time in the flesh and it looked like he was fine, like he didn’t completely upend your life six months ago when he ended things. part of you wondered if he could see through you, through the illusion of your happiness and to the core where you were just as fractured as you were december 17th. 

the rest of the weekend continued with you doing little to nothing but eating and binging trashy reality tv shows. when your alarm went off on monday morning, you contemplated calling off, but got dressed instead.

“you look like hell,” was the first thing frankie, your mentor and boss, said to you. because of the nature of your relationship, you felt comfortable flipping him off, even as he passed you a cup of coffee. “rough night?” he asked after watching you take a hefty sip of the hot beverage.

“rough weekend,” you grumbled.

frankie gave you a small smile and patted you on the back as the two of you walked to the workspace. “wanna talk about it?”

you recognized performative kindness when you saw it. while you firmly believed frankie cared about you and your wellbeing, you also knew he didn’t want to hear the sob story of how you ran into your ex drunk at a bar, at least, not at 8am. so you shook your head.

“i looked at some of your work on the bradshaw family’s piece so far, and i was impressed. i do have some notes, but for the most part, you’ve been doing a great job.”

you did your best to smile gratefully, but you weren’t sure it translated. “i really appreciate your guidance on this, and the trust you have to let me work on some of these projects.”

“you’re very talented,” he said. “you ever thought about creating something for yourself or someone else?”

there wasn’t a word to describe the noise that came out of your mouth. was it a nervous laugh? a squeak maybe? you didn’t know, and neither did frankie.

“what?” he asked. “why is that so scary?”

you shrugged as the two of you made it to the workspace. normally, you would start by pulling out the supplies you needed to begin working on the bradshaw piece, but if frankie met you at the door, it was because he wanted to have an impromptu meeting first.

“i feel like i’m good at fixing things,” you said. “maybe not creating something from thin air.”

“you have so much talent,” frankie replied. “i hate to see it wasted on fixing and preserving someone else’s work when you could be doing both. it could be your art that people hang in their houses and pay thousands of dollars to preserve.”

you nodded, but kept your eyes on the table, studying the wood grain and tracing the pattern with your finger.

“i don’t think i’m capable of that anymore.”

frankie reached over and squeezed your shoulder. “just think on it, okay? couldn’t hurt to just think on it.” he walked out a moment later, giving you space and time to queue up music and get started on the day.

you opened spotify and pressed the play button on your liked songs without even thinking about it. not even two seconds later, you regretted your decision. the soft tones and beats of frank ocean’s thinkin bout you echoed through the room and slammed against your chest. you immediately switched the song and found a classical playlist to listen to instead.

but the tune wouldn’t get out of your head.

not two minutes later.

not thirty minutes later.

not after your full eight hour shift spent hunched over your workstation.

not even on the drive home.

frank ocean’s voice permeated every fiber of your being.

it was simone who first showed you the song in high school. you remembered liking the melody enough, but you didn’t get the lyrics. and why would you? you were in love with your best friend who loved you back. even though you were fourteen and too young to even think about marriage, you knew matthew was going to be the person you ended up with. it was him or no one.

and now it was no one.

now, you listened to the song play over and over in your head, the lyrics resonating with you deeper than ever before.

you pulled into your driveway, completely unaware of what cars were parked in the street. they’d never mattered to you before. why would they now?

you sat in your car for a few minutes, taking a deep breath while you worked up the courage to go inside. when you finally got a grip on your emotions, you opened your door and grabbed your bag. you were too busy fumbling with your keys to notice anything amiss until you were on your porch and a pair of shoes came into sight.

“hey.”

it took everything in you not to scream. you dropped your keys and nearly dropped your bag. matthew stood on your front porch with his hands in the pockets in his shorts like he was innocent of any pain or suffering he’d caused you. he was in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and you hated yourself a little bit for thinking he’s attractive like that.

“what’re you doing here?” you hated how hoarse your voice sounded, like a low quality audio recording where things sounded muffled and broken.

“your dad wouldn’t let me in.”

“good.”

matt sighed and ran a hand down his face. “can we not do this?”

“not do what?” you asked. “not act like you ended things for no damn reason?”

“if you—”

“we dated for nearly ten years and you decided to end it over a five minute phone call. and you still think you’re entitled to my time?” and maybe you should’ve been kinder, maybe you should’ve been more civil. but you hadn’t seen or heard from him in months (until a few nights ago) and he just turned up out of the blue? expecting you to do what? forgive him? move on?

matthew said your name delicately, but not in the way he used to, like saying your name was a luxury he was honored to have. no, he said it like you were going to break, like you were fragile, like he wasn’t the sole cause of your pain. “please—”

the anger was draining out of you quicker. you were exhausted between work, and frank ocean’s stupid song, and the other night. 

“what do you want?” your voice cracked on the last word. “wanna ruin my life a little bit more? put the final nail in the coffin?”

“no,” he shook his head fervently. matthew took a step towards you and looked something close to devastated when you stepped back. but it didn’t make sense, he ended it, he had no right to look or feel that way. “i just wanna talk.”

“six months,” you said, doing your best to keep your voice clear. “you had six months to say something. what could you possibly have to say now that you couldn’t then?”

“i know we didn’t end on the best of terms—” he started, but it was cut off by your scoff. you turned your head away and used your palm to wipe at your eyes before you crossed your arms over your chest. “—but i don’t think we should let this ruin brady and emma’s summer. we’re gonna see a lot of each other and i don’t want things to be tense around them.”

you took a minute to really look at him. blonde frizzy curls, blue eyes that wouldn’t leave your face. he hadn’t changed one bit.

one summer, you’d attempted to count the number of freckles on his shoulders. you got up to 87 before you gave up.

and yet you felt like you were standing in front of a stranger.

there were so many things you wanted to say, so many things you’d dreamt of screaming at him, but now that he was here, in front of you, asking something of you, you felt drained, tired. you used to crave his presence, now it felt like a leech.

you loved him, but he was sucking the life out of you.

so you nodded. you nodded and said “okay,” before you walked inside your front door and left your heart on the porch.

you pressed your back against the door and slid to the ground, pulling your knees to your chest. there was no telling when you started crying, or when your dad joined you on the floor, hugging you as close to his chest as he could.

“why wasn’t i enough?” you sobbed into your knees.

your dad petted your hair before he pressed a kiss there. “you’re more than enough, honey. but you can’t make anyone love you if they’re not willing to.”

“he used to!” you wailed. “he used to love me!” then, in a smaller voice, “what changed?”

a beat of silence, then your father’s somber, quiet voice. “maybe he did.”

before

“so what are your plans for after high school?” ms. meyer, your high school guidance counselor sat across from you at her desk. her stare was kind, but unwavering.

you’d already applied to notre dame, knowing that’s where matt committed. so when you answered, it was confident. it had been your plan since matt said yes to the school. “i’m going to notre dame and majoring in art history.”

“do you have any back up schools?”

you nodded. “ucla and the art institute of chicago.”

ms. meyer pursed her lips. “you know all of those places are highly competitive, right?”

“my transcripts and resume are impressive and I did really well on the SAT and ACT. i think i’ll be able to get in.” and you were, you were pretty confident as they come when it came to academics. any school would’ve been lucky to have you, that much you believed.

ms. meyer nodded. “i understand ucla and the art institute, both of those schools have incredible arts programs, but why notre dame? it doesn’t seem to fit with your aspirations.”

“oh,” you laughed under your breath. “that’s where my boyfriend is going.”

your guidance counselor blinked. “you’re incredibly smart and gifted, i’d hate to see that talent wasted when you could be developing it elsewhere. what do you want?”

“i want to be with matthew.”

ms. meyer sighed and gave you a sympathetic smile, you weren’t sure why though. you’d never been more sure of anything. “honey, can i be honest with you?” she didn’t wait for your response. “you have so much talent, so much to offer, i’ve seen many girls come in here, putting off aspirations for their significant others only for that relationship not to last.”

“i know we’re young,” you started, already feeling the heat rise up in your chest. she didn’t know anything about you personally, she didn’t know about you and matt. “but we’re gonna make it, i swear.”

ms. meyer nodded. “of course you are.” she cleared her throat and adjusted the papers in front of her. “so, notre dame...”

after

you weren't exactly sure what compelled you to do it, but at dinner a few nights ago, your mom had asked about what happened to simone, your friend from middle and high school. so you reached out, though it made you feel like you were contacting someone to join your mlm.

it legitimately surprised you when simone replied to your facebook message. the two of you made plans to get coffee on saturday.

and now it was saturday.

you weren’t getting coffee until 9:30, but you were awake and staring at your ceiling at 7. you’d done the due diligence of stalking simone’s profile, so you knew she was married with two kids who looked just like her. she worked as a data analyst for kroger and her husband was a public defender. she met her husband in college and they got married shortly after they graduated from grad and law school respectively. 

if you were a better woman, you’d admit you were jealous. jealous that she got what she wanted in the end. but when you put that aside, you still felt overwhelming happiness at her station in life, regardless of how yours turned out.

you kept scrolling through her social media until it was eventually time for you to get up. you stayed to facebook, not even wanting to bother with going on instagram and accidentally stumbling across one of the tkachuks’ posts.

it was 9:10 when you finally finished getting dressed and ready. you came down the stairs and threw a goodbye over your shoulder before grabbing your crossbody bag and your keys and running out the door.

despite your sprinting and nearly running red lights, you were still five minutes late. you came into the coffee shop, gasping for air after sprinting down the sidewalk from your parking spot.

the second you entered the business, simone’s hand lifted and she smiled brightly, calling you over almost immediately. she stood to greet you, and like no time had passed, pulled you in for a hug.

“it’s so good to see you,” she said. “wasn’t sure if you still liked an iced chai latte, but i got one for you.”

“oh my god, yes,” you gasped before taking a seat and taking a sip of the beverage.

she kept smiling, which made you feel lighthearted for once. most people kept looking at you with pitying eyes, but simone saw you for more than the grief of the last six months. she had to know about it, she just had to, but you thanked her for not bringing it up in the first minute of your conversation.

“how’s work going?”

you shrugged. “it’s mostly tedious, but it’s been fine. what about you? working for kroger? that’s a huge deal.”

simone shook her head. “it’s just a means to an end, a way i can pay for my family’s lifestyle.”

“but are you passionate about what you do?”

she shrugged lightly. “it’s a job, it’s not my life. not everyone is going to work a job that fulfills them. my husband? he loves being a public defender, and he’s good at it. me though, as fun as analyzing data all day sounds and as helpful as it is, getting to have a job that doesn’t come home with me is probably my favorite part of it.”

you nodded along like you understood. and maybe you didn’t do a good enough job at being convincing because simone sighed.

“i wanted to wait to ask this, but i can’t hold it in any longer. how’re you holding up?”

it took you several seconds to answer her question. your mouth open and closed multiple times. “i— i don't know.” you sank back into your seat and picked at your cuticles. “it’s been a shitty few months,” you admitted. “you’d think i’d be over it by now.

simone shook her head and leaned in, arms braced on the table. “you two were together for a decade, what’s a few months in comparison to that?”

you shrugged. “i saw him the other night, when i went out drinking with the other bridesmaids. it was like, i don't know, i got dunked in an ice bath or something. he looked completely unaffected and i couldn’t breathe.”

simone whispered your name.

“but i’m fine!” you asserted. “i’m trying to be.”

simone nodded. “so what do you do now?”

you could’ve kissed her feet for the change in topic. “i’m working in the art restoration and conservation field.”

simone blinked. “you’re restoring art? do you like it?”

you shrugged. “most days, it can get repetitive, but that’s what i like.”

your friend sighed and fixed you with a soft, sympathetic look. “but is that what you want to do for the rest of your life? restoring someone else’s art? doing something repetitive? you are so talented, i hate to see you wasting that talent restoring someone else’s work.”

“it’s not a waste! it’s incredibly difficult and some things deserve to be preserved.”

“but some new things deserve to be created.” simone leaned in closer, her forearms braced on the table. “i think it would do you some good to start creating something again, even if it’s shitty. and you think you aren’t ready, just try something new. a new bar, a new hobby, a new man, something new.”

your stomach twisted at the thought of going on a date with someone other than matt, but simone was right. it had been six months and he seemed to be doing fine, it was your turn to start moving on, to find yourself again.

so you nodded. “we should do this more often,” you said. “i’ve missed you.”

simone smiled. “i’ve missed you too, i’m glad you’re home.”

you talked for another hour about everything the two of you had missed over the years of you being elsewhere before she had to leave and relieve the nanny at home. simone hugged you goodbye and texted you her new number before she left the coffee shop. 

the drive home was quiet because you were pondering the things she’d said. you weren’t sure you were ready for making your own art, you sure as hell weren’t ready to go on a date. but maybe you should try.

maybe you were ready to put yourself first for once.

before

the biggest argument you’d had with matt was after you found out he wasn’t playing at notre dame at all, he was going to play for calgary.

you felt so stupid for committing to that school when you should’ve known your boyfriend was talented enough to skip it altogether. maybe you should’ve taken a gap year, then you wouldn’t have to be doing even more long distance in two different countries.

the two of you never argued, or maybe never was too strong of a word. you hardly ever had a disagreement if you thought about it long enough. most of the time, you suppressed the disappointment and the anger, shoving it to the side because you were surely being dramatic.

but now you were standing off to the side, waiting for your name to be called to cross the stage at your high school graduation, and you wished you’d said something to convince matthew to delay settling into his new calgary apartment with one of his teammates.

but you swallowed your disappointment and pride and just dealt with the fact that he wouldn’t be there.

it was fine.

just high school.

you were snapped out of your reverie when your name was called. you smiled and walked across the stage. when you dreamt of this exact moment, you always thought you’d walk with grace, that all noise would cease to exist as you honed in on the sheet of paper you’d spent the last 13 years working towards.

but it wasn’t like that.

because you heard one specific voice above all the others. as your principal handed you the diploma, your eyes searched the crowd and saw him.

matthew standing up and yelling with his family next to him. he had a sign, the words you couldn’t read because there were tears forming in your water line. he was pointing at you and kept yelling and clapping, hooting and hollering like it was his full time job. your parents were smiling, though they were seated, and your grandparents were stone faced clapping like they were at the masters tournament.

so you kept your eyes on him, even as you walked back to your seat. you might have stumbled, tripped even, but all you could see, all you could feel was him.

you were back in your seat by the time the person calling out the names spoke again.

“please hold your applause until the end.”

you could hear his scoff, even from your seat.

your leg bounced for the rest of the graduation ceremony. you didn’t even register the turning of your tassel. you just couldn’t wait for it to be over so you could be in matt’s arms.

as soon as the ceremony concluded, matt was shoving his way past families, nearly taking out an elderly gentleman in his quest to get to you. on the other hand, you were being pushed to move farther away from him as the procession of students filed out of the gym. you kept looking over your shoulder to find him, but it looked like brady had caught up to him, wrangling his older brother to follow the crowds outside.

“outside!” brady pointed.

you nodded.

as soon as you got through the gym doors, you were booking it outside into the sunlight. it blinded you momentarily, but you whipped your phone out seconds later to see if matt had texted you where he’d be. you pulled up his contact and were seconds away from calling him when arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you up into the air.

a squeal left your lips until he set you down a moment later. you spun around in his arms and before you could say anything, matthew was kissing you like no one else was around.

when the two of you finally needed air, you pulled away. “i thought you were in calgary!”

matthew scoffed though there was a large smile on his lips. “you thought i’d miss my favorite girl’s graduation? calgary can wait, your high school graduation only happens once.”

“i’m glad you’re here,” you whispered. 

“me too, baby.”

unfortunately, matt pulled away so you could hug your parents and even your grandparents who were standing off to the side. taryn and brady pulled you into a group hug afterwards, with taryn going on a tangent about all the fun things the two of you would have to do before you left for school.

but brady was taking your graduation cap off your head to ruffle your hair as matt grabbed your purse and took your car keys out. keith and chantal were offering to pay for a celebratory lunch while your grandparents gave an irish goodbye. your parents were smiling, you were tucked into matt’s side, and brady and taryn were bickering and—

everything was perfect.

you wanted to freeze that moment, that sensation in your chest, take the saccharine feeling and bottle it up and store it on your bookshelf. 

and if you could’ve, you would’ve savored the sensation of matt’s lips pressed to your temple while both of your dads discussed the best route to get to the restaurant.

but you had no idea how the future would turn out.

you thought matt was forever.

after

you were on a double date, or at least, hyping yourself up to go into the bar and meet up with simone, her husband, and a friend of theirs. you didn’t want to be a bitch, but you also didn’t want to send yourself into a panic attack. simone had suggested just entertaining something with someone, didn’t even have to be serious, it could just be sex.

you could do that, right?

just casual sex?

the thought was nauseating. you’d only slept with matthew, no one knew your body like he did and—

you stopped yourself before you could go down that rabbit hole.

your hands shook as you stepped out of your car and locked it. maybe you should’ve gotten an uber, but then again, you weren’t really planning on drinking like that. you were hoping you’d still be sober enough to go home.

the music in the bar shockingly wasn’t as loud as you expected. it wasn’t the bass bumping, ass grinding bar like the ones matt used to take you to after games. even still, your palms started sweating as you looked around. you spotted simone’s natural hair across the room and made your way towards her. 

her husband, stephen, stood to greet you first, followed by simone, then lastly your date. a guy named andrew who was a partner at his firm, the youngest on his team.

his handshake was firm, but there were no calluses on his palm. his hair was slicked back with what you guessed was a pomade.

he was so unlike matthew it was alarming.

but maybe it was for the best.

you smiled and took your seat next to simone, you sipped on the water in front of you.

“we didn’t want to order drinks without you just yet.”

“thank you,” you mumbled just loud enough for everyone to hear.

“it’s nice to finally meet you,” andrew started. “simone spoke highly of you. she said you’ve been friends since middle school.”

you felt bad because simone didn’t really say much to you about him. if you were a gambler, you’d assume it was because she didn’t want you to back out. you barely even knew him and you were already comparing him to matt.

which wasn’t fair, you knew that. andrew deserved to be a human without the baggage of your last and only relationship determining how you viewed him.

you would try, at the very least for simone. at the very most, you’d try for yourself.

“nice to meet you too. i heard you’re a partner at your law firm? how is that going?”

oh god. you were so bad at this. asking about work on a friday night?

but he smiled. his teeth were perfectly straight and white. you'd bet your last dollar that he'd never needed braces, not like you did.

you hated yourself for thinking of the gap between matthew’s teeth.

“it’s going well,” he said. “lot of work, but i managed to get enough done this week that my friday was free. i wanted to meet the ‘best artist on planet earth,’ according to simone.”

“oh i don’t know about that,” you flushed.

simone scoffed. “don’t downplay yourself.” she turned to look at andrew. “you should see the art she created in high school as a teenager. it was so impressive.”

“what medium do you like working with the most?” he asked.

“mostly acrylic.”

andrew’s eyes lit up. “do you have any photos of your art? i’d love to see your work.”

you shook your head, feeling a little embarrassed at all the attention. “i don’t really paint like that anymore. i work in art conservation now, not a whole lot of time to create something new.”

“that’s such a unique career! what does your average day look like?” andrew leaned forward a little and took a sip of his water.

you told him a little bit about what you did. about how you spent hours hunched over a painting and fixing the smallest problems in hopes it would satisfy the client.

“you must’ve gone to some prestigious art school for that. if you don’t mind me asking, where did you go to college?”

your spine stiffened. “university of calgary.”

and just like you anticipated, his face twisted in confusion. there was no logical reason you should’ve gone out of the country for a regular school. it would be one thing if you went to an art institute, but you didn’t.

“why calgary?” he asked. “seems a bit random, if you don’t mind me asking.”

you shifted in your seat and wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. it wasn’t until you cleared your throat in a sorry attempt to get the lump out, that you spoke. “it’s a long story,” you said. “thought i had a future in calgary.”

andrew, to his credit, knew when to not ask questions and changed the subject immediately.

the rest of the night passed in a blur. you were only halfway present, your mind reeling at how you wasted those years in calgary waiting for a man who would dump you as soon as he moved to a warmer state.

he, quite literally, left you in the cold.

andrew offered to walk you to your car, an offer you accepted because it was dark and st. louis.

“i had a great time tonight,” he said. “it was really nice to meet you. you’re even better than simone and stephen said.”

you gave him a small smile. “it was nice to meet you too.”

andrew shifted on his feet. for a moment, he didn’t look the part of the youngest partner at his law firm, he looked like a boy. “i was hoping maybe you’d want to do this again? maybe get some dinner?”

your throat felt like someone had force fed you cotton balls. but then you thought about how pathetic your life had been the last six months, how pathetic it was going to be when you flew to new jersey to be in the same bridal party as your ex.

you refused to be pathetic any longer.

which is probably why you smiled (albeit shakily) and said yes.

before

you were bouncing on your toes in the hallway as you waited for matt. it was a brutal game, and he spent a good portion of it in the penalty box, mostly for minor things, but one incident was for fighting. which wasn’t atypical, but you’d never seen him that keyed up before.

and given his reputation, there were any number of things that could’ve caused the fight itself. two weeks ago, matt had fought someone for being too forceful with one of his teammates, which after years of watching the game, was on par with the sport and your boyfriend.

because he fought so much, you weren’t necessarily surprised whenever he did. sure, you flinched when he was punched, knowing how badly it would bruise, praying to whatever higher power existed that he would still have all his teeth. but usually, matt wasn’t trying to fight everyone on the ice at all times.

tonight was different.

safe to say, you were a little anxious waiting for him to come out.

you weren’t exactly sure about what was said on the ice to get him so riled up. the worst you’d seen was when someone on the other team said something about taryn. you used to think that was the angriest you ever saw him. and it was.

until tonight.

you could feel the energy rolling off of him in waves as he exited the locker room. usually, after a win, matt is relaxed and easy going, but despite the victory from tonight, he was tense and pent up, frustrated even.

“hey,” you said, meeting him halfway.

matthew didn’t respond, just dropped his bag and wrapped you up in a hug, tucking his head into the space where your neck met your shoulder.

“you okay?” you asked.

he nodded. he squeezed your waist once before letting go, taking your hand instead. “ready to go?”

the car ride was silent minus the music matthew had playing through the aux. his hand rested on your thigh, though the grip was particularly tighter than normal, especially after a win. part of you wanted to ask, the other part not wanting to spoil the rest of the night with your curiosity.

but this was the man you loved. and it hurt you to see him this upset.

normally, you would’ve left well enough alone, but you were going back to notre dame in two days and didn’t want to spend the rest of your time walking on eggshells around him. you couldn’t help him if you didn’t know what was wrong.

“what happened?” you asked when the car came to a stop at a light.

“nothing,” he grunted.

“your team won and you’re still grumpy, matthew. so tell me, what happened? i want to help you.”

“there’s nothing to help.”

“matthew,” you groaned. “i’m only here for two days, can you just be honest with me? i don’t wanna waste the rest of my trip with you being upset when i can help you—”

“then go back to indiana!” he all but yelled, ripping his hand off your thigh so he could shove it through his disheveled hair.

your jaw dropped. in all the years you’d known matt, he'd never talked to you that way. and you weren’t starting a bad habit by letting him think he could ever do it again. you unbuckled your seat belt and grabbed your bag. you tugged on the handle of the door. “i’ll see you at home,” you said.

matt scoffed. “don’t be dramatic.”

“i’m not being ‘dramatic,’ matthew. you’re being an asshole.” you braced yourself for the cold as the door opened and let in a cold breeze.

matthew called your name, but you ignored him and slammed the car door shut. it was a little petty, considering how matt had berated his siblings over the same thing.

a car honked, probably because the light had turned green and matt was still sitting at the light, looking at you.

a cold wind blew and for a moment, you thought about hopping back in the car with matt, but he was pulling away and your pride wasn’t ready to take a hit just yet.

his car sped away until, with an efficiency you only wish you had, he parallel parked in a spot just up the road.

“get in the car,” he called, slamming his car door shut. “it’s too cold for you to be proving a point.”

“and what point am i trying to prove, matthew?” you asked over your shoulder.

you kept walking.

“would you please stop walking and just get back in the car?”

you kept walking.

a hand reached out and grabbed your wrist, you might’ve shrieked had it not been gentle, had you not recognized the scent of matt’s cologne.

gently, he turned you around.

“baby, just get in the car. you don’t even have to talk to me. don't even have to look at me if you don’t want to. i’ll sleep on the couch or something, but it’s not safe for you to be walking home alone.” he ran his thumb back and forth over your pulse point in a soothing manner.

you kept your eyes on his hand. “what happened during the game?

he sighed, shoulders sagging like they were tired from carrying the weight of the world. “they were talking shit.”

you blinked. “and that’s different....how?”

with the hand that wasn’t holding your wrist, matthew pinched the bridge of his nose. “they were talking shit about you. saying you deserved better and shit.”

“matthew, you know that’s not true—”

“they called you names.” his voice was dark, angrier than you'd ever heard before. “things i’m not comfortable repeating.”

a shiver went down your spine, for matt to be that upset made you uncomfortable. you didn’t want to think about what they said, you didn’t want to dwell on it any longer.

“well,” you said, voice feeling small and weak in your throat. “well, we know it’s not true, so it doesn’t matter.” you tried to make your way back to the car, but matt’s grip on your wrist stopped you.

“but it does matter,” he insisted. “what they said, i get it wasn't true, you and i both know that. but i’m not gonna let anyone talk shit about you, i don’t care who they are.”

your eyes finally met his own and in the blue you saw determination and conviction there. you started towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“i love you, matty.”

he kissed the top of your head. “love you more.”

after

“where are you going?” your mom asked from the couch.

your dad looked up from his james patterson book to squint at your outfit: a square neck black dress. “are you going out?” he chimed in.

you felt sheepish, like the fifteen year old girl going on her first solo date, no parents picking her up because matt just got his license. “remember that guy i went on a double date with?”

“with simone and her husband?” you mom asked.

you nodded. “we’re going out again, just us tonight.”

your mother gave you a small smile while you dad kept staring. “have fun, sweetheart.”

your dad, however, put his book down and looked at you above the rim of his glasses. “are you gonna be okay?”

“alan, this will be good for her!”

but your dad’s eyes never left your face. “you’ll call if you need something?”

“andrew’s a good guy, dad.” or at least, you were assuming so. you’d only met the guy one other time and he seemed alright.

but you could see the look in your father’s eyes, you could hear what he wasn’t saying.

so was matthew.

you swallowed and nodded at your parents. your phone pinged with a notification that your uber was outside. “i’ll be back.”

the drive to the bar was silent. usually, you wouldn’t have taken an uber, but you were unsure how drunk you would get tonight. the date could go well, it could be everything you wanted, even if all you wanted was matthew. 

but you were prepared for the worst. you were prepared to drink until you couldn’t see straight just to get through the night.

andrew was a nice guy, but he wasn’t who you wanted.

and you hated yourself for it.

the uber pulled up to the bar. and simply because he didn’t kidnap or talk to you, you gave the driver five stars.

andrew was waiting at a high top table for you, a glass of water ready to go. you waved at him and carefully made your way across the room, avoiding people and drinks and people with drinks.

“hey,” he greeted.

you gave him a small smile. “hi.”

“was traffic bad on your way here? i wasn’t sure, given that it’s friday and what not.”

you shook your head. “not too bad.” 

c’mon, think of something. say something. anything.

“crazy busy tonight, huh?” you wanted to facepalm. that was what you came up with? all the words in the world and that was what you—

“yeah,” andrew cut off your mental tirade. “i think some famous guys are here tonight, heard murmurs of it.”

you nearly broke out into a cold sweat. “d-do you know who?”

andrew shrugged. “i didn’t ask, i just heard someone talking about it when i was getting a drink.” then, like he finally realized, he snapped. “do you want anything? i can grab it for you.”

you gave him your drink order with a smile. he tapped the table with his knuckles before promising he'd be right back.

you traced the grain of the table with your finger, allowing it to feel the grooves and water stains left from other customers. it felt awkward, sitting by yourself with no one to talk to. andrew said he'd be back, but the bar was busy, it could be ten, fifteen minutes before he'd come back.

your phone buzzed.

simone: 

how’s it going?

you smiled despite yourself. 

you:

he’s nice. he went to get me a drink.

you put your phone down to look around the bar. it was busier than normal, or at least, what you thought was normal.

you were scrolling through your social media feeds when andrew finally came back. he had your drink in hand with a smile on his face.

“sorry, the line took forever,” he said.

you glanced at the bar to see a small crowd of people. “doesn’t surprise me,” you said. “friday’s are usually busy.”

“yeah especially when there’s two hockey players in town. heard someone at the bar talking about it, thought you might wanna know. simone said you were a fan?”

your stomach dropped to your feet. you took a hefty sip of your drink to avoid andrew seeing a frown on your face. there was a chance that it was a blues player still in town, but your gut knew better. if you were a betting woman, you'd bet your last dollar on it being brady and matt.

you wanted to throw up.

instead, you chugged the drink.

“whoa, you okay?” andrew’s eyes widened a little, maybe in concern, but there was something about the smirk on his face that said otherwise.

you gave him a shaky smile. “just fine. can i get another drink?”

he smiled immediately and got up to get you another.

and another.

and another.

your vision was blurring a little when you tried to cut yourself off, even as andrew was sliding another glass in front of you. you threw the drink back again, not even blinking at it.

matt and brady could be here. it was too soon to see them again, you weren't prepared to see them again. maybe if you drank enough, you’d black out and forget all about tonight.

but then andrew was grabbing your elbow, he was leading you towards the door, encroaching upon your personal space. his lips were on your neck, whispers of what he had planned for you.

your skin crawled, you wanted him off of you, but your arms were sluggish, you were tripping over your feet and he was the only thing holding you up.

“no,” you slurred. “lemme go.”

but he either didn’t hear you or was ignoring you because he kept dragging you to the door.

then the panic set in.

it felt like it came out of nowhere, but maybe the surmounting panic was always there like a loyal friend. you tried squirming out of his grip, shoving at his chest, but the panic was building the longer he held onto you. your head was shaking furiously, your mouth doing its best to protest, but it was like the alcohol made your tongue heavy.

“lemme go—” you tried shoving one more time before you heard a shout in the distance. 

“hey!” you weren’t aware of the people around you being shoved to the side, you were unaware of the rage surrounding you. you were unaware until andrew was ripped away and you were being shoved into another body.

“matt hey—”

brady. you were right, brady was here.

god you loved brady.

“brady?” you slurred, smiling lazily up at him. “you’re here! why’re you here?”

with one arm, brady kept you pressed to him, but he wasn’t acknowledging you. his eyes were focused on his brother holding the collar of your date.

oh. your date.

there was no rhyme or reason for the feeling of horror that washed over you when you realized what almost happened before matt and brady showed up.

you were gonna throw up.

or pass out.

you weren’t sure when you started hyperventilating, but it felt like the walls were closing in. was the music always this loud? was matt always that loud when yelling? you wouldn’t know, he hardly ever yelled at you—

“hey,” brady’s gentle voice sounded it your ear, but it was like you were hearing it from underwater. “hey, breathe, it’s okay. you’re safe now.”

the funny thing about hyperventilating is no one wants to be hyperventilating. it’s similar to worrying in that telling someone to stop worrying is ineffective. brady telling you to breathe wasn’t helping because it wasn’t like you wanted to be light headed and struggling to get oxygen.

your mind was just racing with the thoughts of what almost happened.

were your hands shaking? or was the world just rocky? was it the alcohol? why did andrew give you so much? was he planning on—

oh god.

oh god.

“matt!” brady’s voice again sounding like a deep echo in a cave, one you could barely hear. “matt, i think he got the point, she needs you.”

did you?

but it didn’t matter what you thought, because you were being gently pulled into a pair of arms you would’ve recognized anywhere. you could be deaf, blind, and mute, you could’ve had your nose plugged so you couldn’t smell his aftershave and you still would’ve known it was matt. his arms were the only ones that felt like home.

maybe it was the way your head tucked under his chin perfectly, or the way you could hold your own hand when you wrapped your arms around his waist. maybe it was the way matt tried to fit you into his ribcage whenever he hugged you.

“hey,” his voice was quiet, hoarse from the yelling probably. “you’re okay, i’ve got you. nothing’s gonna hurt you, not while i’m here.” his lips were on the top of your head, mumbling the words into your hair.

“he—he was gonna—”

matt was shushing you, running a hand up and down your back. “do you wanna go outside? get some fresh air?” you nodded against his chest, a place you used to lay your head on at night.

matt walked you outside, brady not far behind. he was supporting most of your weight. you were still incredibly drunk even if the event that just happened sobered you up a little.

your hands were still shaking, your knees a little weak, though you weren’t sure what the original cause of that was. if it was from alcohol, the sleazy date, or just being held by your ex, you weren’t sure.

what a year tonight has been.

your heartbeat slowed down as you listened to matt’s. his hand continued to rub your back in long lines.

“you’re okay,” he continued to say. “i’m not gonna leave you. you’re safe right here, baby.”

your heart soared at the pet name until gravity kicked in and you were right back where you started.

rock bottom.

you pushed away from matt, now that your heart rate had decreased. you stumbled a bit from the lack of stability, but you managed to right yourself before matt could get his hands on you to help you balance.

“you okay?” he asked.

“no,” you mumbled, shaking your head despite the world feeling like it was spinning too fast already. “no. i’m not okay.”

matt took a step towards you, it was like watching a film in slow motion, seeing his face fall as you immediately took a step back.

“baby i—”

“stop! stop calling me that!” you yelled even as your words slurred, throwing your hands up in the air before pulling at your hair. “you—you don’t get to call me that, not anymore. and you certainly don’t get to ride in like some white knight coming to my rescue either!”

“what’re you—” he cut himself off before running a hand down his face. “he was going to hurt you, i wasn’t going to let that happen!”

maybe it was the alcohol that made you more honest than normal. “why? you don’t seem to care what happens anyway?”

“what the hell are you talking about? i would never let someone hurt you, not if i can stop it.”

“but you had no problem hurting me? leaving me in a country alone?”

matt’s jaw dropped. “you can’t seriously be comparing the two. he—he almost—he had every intention of—” but he kept cutting himself off. and by the looks of his clenched fists, it was hurting him more just thinking about it.

and he was right, what almost happened with andrew and what actually happened at the hands of matt were two different things, but it hurt more from matt, the man who swore he’d be at your side, to love you through it all. he’d dropped you like a bad habit and was expecting everything to be normal again? like you hadn’t spent over half your life completely in love with him?

you sighed, your shoulders sagged, all fight evaporating your body once more. “thanks for help, i’ll see you around.” you turned on your heel and nearly ran into brady, whom you forgot was even there.

“let me drive you home,” brady said. “‘s the least i could do.”

brady at least let you sit shotgun this time, with matt in the back. and when he pulled up to your house, matt was the one to walk you to the door like he had many times before.

“can we talk?” he asked. “sometime this week? or next? or whenever you're free?”

you looked at him, really looked at him. his hands shook at his sides and you longed to hold them in your own to steady them like he did for you earlier. “why’re you doing this to me? why can’t you just leave me be?”

matt stared at you before he pressed his lips together. he looked off to the side almost like he was looking at brady waiting in the car or a scrap of self control, or maybe just the right words to say. “i don’t think i’m capable of letting you go.”

your voice caught on the words in your throat. “i need you to try, matt. because i can’t keep doing this. you can’t call me baby when i’m not your baby anymore.”

he nodded. “just one conversation, i promise.”

you should say no. you should just let it go, but you didn’t think you could deny matt anything if he really asked for it. “okay,” you said. “just one conversation.”

[rotthepoet]

In love with your writing, specially bsf!theo. I’m in such an angst mood. Everyone knows we’re in love with Theo and he’s in love with us besides the two of us. Longing with fwb to lovers? Maybe some more smut if you’re feeling spicy?

IN LOVE WITH YOU, POOKIE!!! If theres one thing I know how to do its YEARN and LONG so lets hope that translates into writing 🙏 it’s been a hot minute since I wrote an actual fic, and i took a few liberties with your rq, so please let me know how you feel about it!

Notes: i typically write for a gn!reader, but I really hope everyone can forgive me for writing in a FEM perspective today. It just makes writing smut a tad bit easier on me(an afab person)

Content warnings: As always, Hogwarts University AU, Characters are all 18+, Draco Malfoy calls Nott a fat ass(degrading eating habits, commenting on working out), Theo’s mom is dead, mutual pining but being too stupid to figure it out, crying during sex but not in a hot way(no safe word used/tech needed), angstyish to comfort, use of drugs(weed), SMUT, oral(fem receiving), kinda proofread? Please let me know if I miss anything major.

Things only got more intense as the… situation went on. Hooking up had become significantly more common, almost a daily occurrence. You found your mind drifting to Theodore more often than not, thinking about how disheveled his hair looked in the morning, or how the first words he mumbled when he saw you today were “Hello, beautiful”.

Your thoughts never strayed too far from Theodore, and to be honest, it felt like he never strayed too far from you.

In the most recent months, it felt like you two had become inseparable. That’s not to say it was a bad thing at all, oh no in fact, it made you quite happy to know he was around. He was your friend after all. The sex-thing, as you opted to call it, was just a benefit you both indulged in time to time.

Of course, neither of you dared to openly admit your scandalous behavior together. It wasn’t anyone’s business, even as Theodore had started seeing less women and spending less nights out partying. It wasn’t anyone’s business when Theo wrapped an arm around your shoulder while walking around Hogsmeade, or when he smiled at you when you weren’t looking. It wasn’t anyone’s business whenever Theo stopped sleeping around completely, and it certainly wasn’t their business when he beat the shit out of one of the Weasley twins for accidentally catching you in the crossfire of a loose prank.

It wasn’t anyone’s business besides the two of yours, and for the most part people had began to ignore it, except for a select group of close friends.

A day didn’t go by where you weren’t pestered by one of Theodore’s friends. They collectively figured that you were more likely to break under pressure than Theo was. It was ruthless.

Draco Malfoy stands at the front of your desk, glaring down at you. “You know you’re just another one of his phases. He does this. Falls helplessly in love with a girl, dedicates his entire time to her, only to remember he isn’t built for that life. It’s about time you save yourself the trouble. I’m only trying to help.”

Not everyone was as terrible as Draco, thankfully.

Mattheo Riddle would approach you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist, putting on his most convincing Theodore impression. “Ciao, Bella,” even his most convincing impression wasn’t very good, “My room or yours?”

Sometimes you play along, running your hands over Mattheo’s in a way that makes his skin prick with goosebumps. “I was thinking we could do it on Matt’s bed again.”

That usually get’s you a hard shove away if Theodore hadn’t already spotted the situation.

Lorenzo Berkshire isn’t as insistent, just staring at the two of you, raising a brow whenever he finds you hand in hand. He draws a huge smirk on his face every time he sees you alone.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

“You mean your boyfriend? I see the way you look at him, don’t play dumb Enzo.”

He doesn’t like that game as much. Usually scoffs and ignores you.

Then there was Blaise Zabini.

Blaise Zabini.

He knows more than he should. Far more than he should. He watches. He listens. He knows. He perceives.

The first time Blaise found you asleep in Theo’s arms, it was early in the morning. Their little clique never missed breakfast together unless something drastic had happened. So, whenever Theodore didn’t show up for breakfast, Blaise volunteered to check on him. Only Draco questioned it when Blaise grabbed a plate and two muffins(“Those are practically cakes, Nott’s fat ass doesn’t need one to begin with, let alone two! Doesn’t even show up to quidditch practice anymore.”). Draco was ignored.

“You’re going to lose her if you keep acting like this, you know that right?”

Theodore tries to ignore Blaise as best he can, he really does. He traces his fingers over your hair softly, watching you dream.

“Just tell her, Theo. What are you so scared of?”

“Drop it, Blaise.”

“No. You obviously love her, you’re obviously in love with her!”

“Lower your voice-“

“Why are you so scared? Is it your father, Theo? Is it your-”

“I mean it Zabini, drop it.”

The room goes eerily quiet as you shift slightly in Theodores arms. It lasts for only a moment before your breathing returns to the deep, rhythmic patterns.

“Get out.”

Blaise didn’t brother bringing it up after that. He knew what was going to happen, and he was going to let it play out. It wasn’t his business, after all.

Your friends weren’t much different. You stopped hanging out with them as much, not on purpose at all, but it didn’t go unnoticed. Maybe one or two of your friends resented Nott for it, “He’s a playboy, everyone knows that. I don’t like how close he’s getting to you.” Or “You aren’t… sleeping with him right? Please tell me you aren’t.”

Both you and Theodore laughed endlessly about every comment. It was silly. I mean yeah, you two fuck, but you’re just friends. You’re just friends, and friends can totally cuddle each other to sleep, and friends can totally kiss without sex. Its not a big deal! Its not a big deal as Theo almost pukes every time he says, “You’re my friend, I’d tell you if anything changed.” And it’s not a big deal when your chest aches as you say “Same here. It’s not that weird when you think about it.”

It wasn’t a big deal the first time you cried during sex. It wasn’t a big deal when he pulled out immediately and held your face, asking what he can do for you to make it better. It wasn’t a big deal when you sobbed in his arms for hours, chest hurting because you loved him so much and you knew you could never say anything. It wasn’t a big deal when Theodore kissed your mouth shut when you tried to apologize. It was a big deal though. It was a really big deal.

It was a big deal when you wrote your name next to Nott like a child. It was a big deal when you kicked your feet in bed thinking about how he called you pretty. It was a big deal when he kissed your cheek so absentmindedly that it felt natural. It felt right.

It was a big deal, and it hurt so bad.

But you could manage. Look at how strong you are. Look at how composed you are. You knew that one day all of this would come to an end, and you were okay with that! It was something you knew you could one day stomach, so for now, you didn't let yourself worry about it.

What you worried about instead, was how fine the object of your affection looked tonight.

Theodore was dressed to the nines. Black slacks, a loose button-up shirt, and those eyes that undressed you no matter where you were. He was gorgeous, and he knew it. You looked wonderful too, showing just enough skin to keep Theo on his toes.

Slytherin winning the house cup was a moment to be celebrated, the common room decorated and loud music playing from every corner of the room. You and Theodore spent every moment together, laughing whenever someone dared approach either of you for a dance.

Smoke curled out of Theodore's lips as he snuffed out the filter of a joint you had shared. He grinned at you, and you smiled at him, and everything else faded away.

Time slowed down, and Theodore's smile fell.

"I want to be with you, this summer."

And you laughed and smiled, nudging his arm slightly. "Well, all you need to do is invite me to your summer home in Italy, and I promise I'll spend every day with you."

"No. I want to be with you."

And for a moment, it felt like everything was still. Theodore looked so scared, and you looked so scared, and your mind was fighting the high to fully understand and process his words.

"With me?"

"With you."

You bit the inside of your cheek, almost not realizing whenever Theodore groaned and stood up.

"Theo."

"Fuck. I knew this was a bad idea."

"Theodore."

"I'm sorry. I knew we shouldn't have."

"Theodore Nott, look at me right now."

And he did. He looked at you so sadly. It made your heart ache.

"I want to be with you, too."

It felt like a brick that sat on your heart had finally been lifted. You laughed at the smile that spread across his face. You laughed as he pressed sloppy kisses against your lips. You laughed as he picked you up, kissing you stupid as he carried you to your room.

The weed still made your mind and body buzz with a high, and fuck, every touch felt better than ever before.

Your back hit the mattress, and Theo climbed over you. He looked so handsome, and you felt so pretty the way he looked at you. His hands worked at your dress, pulling you into a deep kiss as he found the zipper in the back.

Your hands gracelessly unbuttoned his shirt, whining into the kiss as you struggled. Finally, with a small chuckle, Theo offered to help you. His hands worked smoothly, pulling his shirt off his shoulders.

"You're stunning."

"Take a look at yourself, cara mia."

Theodore pushed you back down, gripping your hips as he dragged you to the edge of the bed. You laugh, resting your hands over his, feeling just how wet you are between your thighs. You lean your head back, sighing softly as Theo drops to his knees.

Nothing else mattered when Theodore's tongue found your clothed pussy. His strong and veiny hands pushed your thighs further apart, and pathetic mewls spilled from your lips as he licked you.

Theodore continued to tease you, a grin plastered to his face at every moan and whine you let slip out. He licks over the lace of your panties, daring to suck on your clit through the soaked fabric. Pleas spill from your lips, and Theo can't bite back his groan as you tug on his curls.

Dead eyes look up at you from between your legs, and Theo pulled away just enough to remove the lace hiding your heat from him. He blows on your wet folds, pulling your thighs to his shoulders.

"I think I could stay like this forever, right here."

You roll your eyes and sit up, pulling Theo up just enough to admire his wet face. "I think I'd miss your face too much," you laugh, leaning in and kissing his lips, shivering as you taste yourself on him.

"I have a few other positions that I wouldn't mind staying in."

You push away his smirking face with a laugh, gasping for air suddenly as his mouth finds your clit. Gasps turn into soft whines as his tongue moves across your pearl, your hips jerking and shifting at each motion. You can feel his smirk as he licks a long stripe from your hole to your clit, collecting your arousal on his tongue.

"Theo," You whine out, but he silences you with a long finger prodding at your entrance. He shushes you, planting wet kisses along your thigh. "I know, bella, just take a deep breath. 'Gotta stretch you out all the way."

A needy moan slipped from your lips as a finger slipped inside of you. You could hear how wet you were, and Theo pulled back just enough to watch the digit disappear inside of you. He pressed a second finger in, carefully spreading them inside of you.

"So soft. So pliant."

His whispers made your legs shake as he stretched you out thoroughly. The knot in your stomach grew tighter, and it became almost unbearable as his lips found your clit again. He was slow, savoring the feeling of your legs shaking beside his head, and the feeling of your walls clenching around him.

Ecstasy flooded your mind before you had a moment to think about it. Theo groaned into your cunt, committing the taste to memory. He continued working his fingers in and out of your cunt until you were shaking in overstimulation, only then finally freeing himself from between your legs.

"You have one more in you, right? Can't get enough of you, cara mia. Will never have enough of you."

[anklesoraus]

Hello, hope you are having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request a BAU Team x Male reader

Where they get a strange case involving around an abandoned asylum as is someone is experimenting on the victims that have shown up dead.

What if unsub captures reader and does similar experiments on him only this time the unsub is taunting the BAU with fact he has one of the team by sending pic/videos of what he's doing.

(I was kinda thinking the Unsub is experimenting with old school psychiatric methods?)

The missing agent

A/n: Mmm my first request well actually second but the first one went poof and I hope this is to your liking at least? Sorry it took so long for me to reply to this, I’ve been busy getting ready for an upcoming exam and college has been punching me in the gut. Also I’m trying out new things with tumblr so my layouts will change a lot to see which I would like but besides that I hope you like this half assed story I wrote with little sleep and like 3 monsters, love ya and happy early thanksgiving <3

Warnings: BAU x male reader, mentions of kidnapping, not proofread, half assed

The Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) of the FBI was called to investigate a series of murders that had taken place in an abandoned asylum. The victims had shown up dead, and the killer had left no clues behind. The BAU was stumped, and they couldn't figure out who the killer was or what his motive was.

“Why did they give us this sicko to find” Penelope mumbled under her breath while trying to do some research.

As they were investigating the case, one of their own, Y/n, was kidnapped by the unsub. The unsub then was going to do similar experiments on Y/n as he had done on his previous victims.

“Let me go you sick bastard!” Y/n yelled, moving around as he was tied up to the bed and his eyes covered with a blindfold.

In the distance he heard a laugh. A sinister laugh it was low and grogy but it sounded so loud like he was everywhere, in every corner.

Y/n didn’t want to show weakness, no he’s too old for that. But for the first time in years he is feeling fear. He’s been in the BAU for around 6 years, all the ups and downs yet he’s never felt fear until now, when it’s him as the victim.

“What do you want from me?!” He shouted, with all the fear trying not to show.

The unsub could only laugh more, “you’re scared..I like that.” He had said in his groggy voice.

Y/n grimaced in disgust from the comment, so this man is a sadist he thought to himself. Clearly it makes since with all the crimes he’s done that’s involved causing people pain. All Y/n could do was lay there, thinking if his team will be able to save him.

Four weeks. Y/n has been gone for four weeks. The BAU is scared for him and hopes he’s fine. The once joy and laughter that filled the office from Y/n’s jokes is now gone. All that is there is a gloomy and sad aura in the air. They wont give up, Y/n is family he will be saved and they wont give up.

The unsub liked to experiment with old school psychiatric methods, and he was using them on Y/n. The BAU was horrified when they received pictures and videos of the things that the unsub was doing to Y/n.

“He’s sick!” Yelled out Spencer. The BAU was angry at the unsub but glad to know Y/n is still alive.

The BAU knew that they had to act fast if they wanted to save Y/n’s life. They worked tirelessly to track down the unsub and rescue Y/n. They wouldn’t rest until they saved their friend, their member, their family.

Y/n is still tied on that god awful bed. He lost count of the experiments but he hated them. He didn’t know what was put in him or what it would do but he is scared. Today was the day he lost it.

“Hello Darling, I have something new for you and all you have to do is drink it.” The unsub said, walking towards Y/n as he heard the footsteps coming closer.

“No..please stop this.” Y/n said in a weak voice, it was almost like he was someone else. His color now all pale, his lips dry, and his body aching to where he wish he was shot instead.

The unsub can only laugh as he grabbed a hold of Y/n to force his mouth opened as he poured in the orange green liquid. Y/n squirmed as tears finally fell from his eyes behind the blindfold.

Burning. The liquid felt like it was burning his insides and like his head was close to exploding. Once all the liquid was finally gone the unsub released Y/n from his grasp and stepped back a bit to see the results.

The feeling made Y/n scream so loud and cry so hard that he just wanted to end it. All this pain he feels is on a whole different level and he hates it. He hates the feeling of being a lab rat, knowing he could die anytime now.

After a long and grueling investigation, the BAU finally caught the unsub. Y/n heard gunshots as he jolts from a sleep he fell into. He wanted to speak or scream for help but his body was too weak for him to do anything. He just sat there feeling weak and useless for once in his life.

He hears the door being kicked opened and heard a voice that he can’t believe he would say he missed but he did.

“I found him agent Reid” he heard Derek say as the footsteps got closer. Y/n doesn’t know why but he tried to break out, scared that they would hurt him.

“He really fucked him up..” Derek muttered under his breath as he went to take off the blindfold and the rope that was holding Y/n.

Y/n kept his eyes closed scared, he was shaking trying to process everything. Y/n the once fearless and brave agent is scared and has fear bottled up. He couldn’t do nothing but tightly grab onto Derek and cry. He cried and cried with the strength he had left until he felt his eyes grow heavy.

The case was one of the most challenging that the BAU had ever faced, but they were able to overcome it with their expertise and determination. They were glad to finally have Y/n back but they hope he can go back to being his happy and funny self. One can only hope.

[themanifestingbrat]

Favorite things I've manifested using the law.

Dating my sp There was a third party and "challenging" circumstances but I truly did not gaf. I persisted by saying that's my boo anytime I saw or thought of him, ofc seeing him all the time helped.

Desired apartment When I was moving with my mom, I fell in love with the first apartment we toured. I told her that's the one and despite her doubts and concerns, I didn't care. There was no way in hell I was going to live anywhere else. The application and move in process was extremely easy.

Desired jobs Pretty much every job I worked at, I manifested. Whether it was me simply imagining myself working there, "hearing" the call back that I was hired, or also "hearing" a family member saying they were proud of me.

$200 I felt like I had "blocks" in regards to money so I chose a small amount to manifest. Just claimed it and thought about what I was going to do with it. Came in less than three days. Randomly saw the amount around $300 added to my bank account from the government I think??

Desired friend Despite both of us being in two different cliques and having only a few classes together, I thought she looked so cool and just wanted to be friends with her lmao. I think I initiated conversations with her at first but then before I knew it, she was coming over to my house and we would hang out after school a lot. We are still close to this day.

Free drinks/food This is easy since I already had people always buying me free shit. So whenever I wanted to eat but didn’t want to pay, someone somehow always came through!

People's response/reactions These are usually instant because I'd immediately assume what they would say before they even get a chance to. I would simply imagine their response in a way that felt real and go from there.

Braces This one took me so long to manifest because I would not let it goooo! I wanted to fix my teeth so fucking badd. But after finally giving up and not caring about it anymore, randomly my parents just said they’ll pay for my braces.

Beauty I was hella insecure even though I always been told that I was beautiful. I didn't want to be beautiful tho, I wanted to be hot, cool, and sexy. I wanted to be desired and pull people left and right. I started to just tell myself that I was hot regardless of my insecurites. Now, while I didn't manifest any major appearance changes, just my mindset and confidence (maybe a lil makeup too) helped. I now can pull anyone and have people constantly staring at me, calling me hot, gorgeous, stunning, etc.

Desired School I was in my senior year and happened to tour a prestigous fashion school. Even though it was hella expensive and not everyone could get it in, I wanted to go to school there just for status lmao. I persisted and got accepted! Now, if only I could've manifested my parents to not force me to go to college...

Desired Sister I used to bitch and complain about how my sister is irresponsible, inconsiderate, and rude all the gotdamn time. But I learned EIYPO and I stopped. Whenever she pissed me off, I didn't react the way I usually would, I would leave it alone and maybe affirmed in my favor at times. Then her whole demeanor changed, she more kind, caring, and dependable and we don't fight anymore. She still be getting on my nerves sometimes tho.

My old friend to reach out This one was a doozy. So I was bored at 2am and watched a Youtube video about the 369 method. I decided to try it and chose a friend I haven't spoken to in a year because of a bad falling out. I kinda missed her so I used her for the method and went to bed right after. I get up a few hours later for work and I check my ig and she dm'ed me exactly what I wrote! I thought I was in a twilight zone, I couldn't believe I manifested it so fast!

My “perfect” partner I wrote a long ass list of things I wanted in a partner. But here's the thing, I admired my sister's relationship with her bf because they were so in love. So when I finaly met and started dating my bf, he checked off almost everything on my list AND the qualities of my sister's bf, the good... and the bad, which is why he's my ex now lmfao.

My dream car Way before it was time for me to get a car of my own, I always wanted a Jeep wrangler. Anytime I would see it on the road, I would claim it as my car, I would tell people it's my dream car, and I had it on my vision board. I even went to a dealership to test drive one, it was so fun! I also visualized myself driving it. When it was time to find one, I did get scared I wasn't going to find one I liked at a good price but I persisted and now I have one!

[demonio-fleurs]

Alright, for WIP Wednesday here is an unedited quick lil thing I wrote that I will probably never finish or post. The idea came to me while watching Bleach, since Ichigo & Sabo have the same english dub va, but I have no idea where I would even go with it, it just kinda exists as is.

(it's hinted/implied saboala. or mean to be at some point. idk i wrote it at 1:30am)

The sound of heels clicking against stone echoed down the hall as the younger woman made her way through the underground prison. In her left hand, she twirled the keys to the cells, and in her right she held a black top hat against her hip. She’d already done her job up above, unleashing the angry citizens who had been unfairly imprisoned by their kingdom onto the unsuspecting guards, who would soon be overwhelmed by the combined forces of citizens willing to overthrow their corrupt king, and revolutionaries willing to aid in their struggle.

But underground was where the kingdom kept their most dangerous prisoners, and there was only one such man kept in it’s bowels. And Koala was sure he was going to give her hell for being late.

As she reached the cell all the way at the end, she was grateful that the guards had been thoughtful enough to keep the torches lit, so that she could actually see him, even if in dim light. Resting one hand on her hip, she couldn’t help but give him an exasperated look,

“You look terrible.” She said as she assessed the state he was in. His coat was gone, probably torn to shreds since she hadn’t seen it anywhere in the guards’ quarters, and his shirt was ripped open, revealing his scarred and bruised chest. Dried blood matted his blonde hair, and a mixture of sweat and blood stained his sleeves. His arms were pulled up, forced to be held above his head thanks to the cuffs that were chained to the walls.

All in all, not the worst state she’d seen him in.

“And you’re late.” Sabo shot back, turning to look up at her with a glimmer in his eye. So long as he still had that mischievous glimmer, Koala knew he was fine.

“Hmph.” She said, inserting the key into the lock to the door, “Not even a thank you for rescuing your sorry ass, I see. Maybe I should leave you in here.”

He grinned as the door was unlocked, swinging inward as she stepped inside the cell. “And who exactly would help you overthrow the king then, huh?”

“I’m going to start leaving notes for whoever captures you whenever you next decide to this stupid stunt.” Koala shoved the top hat on top of his head, which freed up her right hand so that she could pull the keys to his cuffs out from her waistband, “They should gag you, make it easier for me to rescue you.”

“I missed you too.” He teased, sighing with relief when the cuffs came off, allowing his arms to fall forward. Rubbing his wrists, he looked up at her, “What’s it like out there?”

She shrugged, “Not sure, but by now our members should be aiding the citizens in their fight against the army. The only thing missing is you.”

“And you,” He said, leaning down to peck her cheek.

“I do better on my own, away from whatever mess you end up making.” She said as she pulled her notebook out, flipping through it, “I’ve got to sneak inside the castle and see if I can scrounge up proof that the king has been doing [insert thing here] for the World Economic Journal.”

“So, let me guess, you want me to make as big of a mess as I can to keep the eyes off of you?” He asked as they made their way to the door. From the other end of the corridor, they could start to hear the distant sounds of fighting.

“More or less.”

[adventuresinposting]

Dear Mom,

How have you been? I'm sorry I haven't written in a couple months. I miss you lots, I promise not to go so long next time.

Work sucks, per usual. I spend 10 hours a day schlepping my tired ass up and down the memory ward. Get home, microwave some slop, choke it down, sleep, wake up, shower, back to work. I don't know how I'm going to do this another 30 years. I kinda look forward to being put out of a job by one of those Japanese caretaker bots.

How did you manage to work two jobs while raising two kids? You're really a superhero. I remember when you'd get off work at Hehr and you looked so tired, but you always took me somewhere fun. You must have been exhausted for decades. You gave us so much, so many opportunities, and it cost you so many years of busting your ass. I never properly thanked you - so - thank you.

I wonder if things have always been this way. I hate the idea that we're just born to build a pyramid for a pharaoh or make money for a CEO. I just want to sing karaoke and drink mai tais, instead I have to work all damned day. I guess things could be worse.

Evander is good, we're celebrating nine years together in October. He got promoted! He's some kind of liason between the call center and the client, I don't understand exactly what his place is in the hierarchy now, but I know he's just a few steps down from the site president or whatever the boss' title is.

The kids are so smart! Alie has met the academic milestones for a six-year-old at only five, and our sweet boy is learning so much from her.

I talked to Dad the other day. We have been spotty about keeping in touch, and we usually just bullshit about musician stuff on the rare occasion we chat. He has diabetes now. He insists on treating it with homeopathic garbage.

Do you remember Tom? He finally got married and moved to Oregon. He hates it there, says it's like an ocean of fentanyl with small islands of civilization. I don't know if he's exaggerating for effect or if it really is that bad, but I'm glad I don't live there.

Bob passed away. He had cancer and it spread quickly, Sarah was devastated. We attended the service, she tried to say her peace but couldn't make it through without sobbing.

What else... we got a dog, we named him Mochi. He's a King Charles but we didn't pay a lot since he was a runt. Cute little guy, his fur mats easily though, so we brush him a lot.

That's pretty much everything since I last wrote you. Oh! I'm glad to say the Silverwood Killer got his fucking ass beat and stabbed by some other inmates in Tehachapi. I plan to come see you again in June, I'll bring some CLR for the buildup on your headstone.

I love you,

Elle

[shuamorollss]

CUTE THINGS THEY DO WHEN YOU DO THEIR MAKEUP — ot7/gn!reader

note: honestly thought abt posting this only as a hyung line imagines BUTT i changed my mind and wrote for the maknae lines bc i love them all 🤭💕💕 I'm sorry of the maknaes are kinda short and half-assed. I just wanted to get rid of my writers block T_T

tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff!! >< smiled while writing heejakewonki tbh HAHAHAHA . . . not proofread

perm. taglist! @jangwonie @jungwonize @butterflyy-ningg @w3bqrl

♡ ! — Heeseung only accepted your offer to put makeup on his just so he could feel you so close. Though he couldn't stand it just staying still and watch how you gently stylized his face, and with your adoring face so close to his... How could he not react to that? He'd swiftly yet gently just place both of his hands on your cheeks out of nowhere whilst you’re still putting his makeup, afterwards began to drown you with compliments that you didn't seem able to resist until you became a red-faced mess so close right in front of him. " God. how are you so so pretty? I could kiss you right now. "

♡ ! — Jongseong would just look into your eyes, admiring your focused face a few inch closer to him. he didn’t want to just stay still and wait until you finish doing his makeup. He can’t stop himself from suddenly kissing your nose out of nowhere. A few times he did this you were surprised but you got used to it eventually. He never seems to grow tired of placing sweet peck on your nose whenever you finish a part of doing his face. 

♡ ! — Jake is such a cutie. he always gets ecstatic whenever you tell him you wanted to put makeup on him (please he gets so excited to the point he's the one to prepare your makeup kit for you!). and by the time you are applying makeup on him, whenever he gets the opportunity he would boop your nose with his finger. he would do it when you're least expecting it, so you get startled whenever he does so. It was slightly anmoying but you couldn't help but giggle and smile whenever he does so. He's just so cute. too cute.

♡ ! — Sunghoon would be a real tease. Even you couldn't last long going too close to hoon. He's a funny fucking dude cause he'd initiate an unnecessary staring contest with you; just having eye contact with him could make your face red as hell. " How cute. " that's what he says whenever you make a pause and try to breathe as fast as you can, following with him cupping the both of your cheeks, gently pulling you right in front of his stunning face once again. " I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please continue. "

♡ ! — Sunoo tells you stories, fun facts, kdrama criticisms, or just tell whatever the whole time you do his face. Kind of distracting though you don't mind since he's really balanced so it's easy for you to follow and do his look. You actually enjoy him sharing his insight to you during a supposedly really quiet process. After that he offers to do yours as well, " I look so cute! Come on love, i'll do yours. Let's match looks! "

♡ ! — Jungwon actually LISTENS to you!! Quiet and obedient the whole time. Though would lose his shit by the time you get to do his eyeliner. Also by losing his shit— what I mean is that he'd suddenly kiss you whilst doing his eyeliner! He just couldn't take it " How can I not kiss you? you were so close. too close. "

♡ ! — Ni-ki is honestly so stubborn. Would take a while to finish his makeup. He teases too much but it's tolerable. As much as you want to be frustrated, you couldn't. You like him like this and for some reason, you could focus better. After that he would just let your forehead lay on his for a short while, while your noses are in direct contact. " I know it hasn't been anytime long but i miss your face this close to mine, so let's stay like this for another few minutes. "

© wonamore 2022. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭-𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 || helmut zemo, bucky barnes and sam wilson x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : your sugar daddy boyfriend is finally out of prison and he brought a few friends to show you off to.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : just over 4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : smut (foursome/group sex, oral m receiving, spitroast; sliiiight dubcon???), established zemo x reader, sugar daddy relationship, ‘sir’ kink, ‘daddy’ kink, pussy spanking, one regular spank, orgasm control, overstimulation, creampie, a bit of cockwarming, exhibitionism, possessiveness (kinda? but also not at all lmao it’s hard to explain), a bit of degradation but plenty of praise as well, subtle cuckolding but without the usual power dynamics there, shitty reconstructed “sokovian” (I wrote it in the latin alphabet but the cyrillic and translations are at the end), unexpected and unnecessary fluff, very subtle angst (basically all in a flashback anyways)

                  You were needlessly anxious as you waited for him to arrive.  It had been your own idea to wait in the jet, and yet you spent every other second glancing out the tiny window, desperate for a glance of the man you missed so dearly.

If someone had told you all those years ago, when this arrangement first began, how easily he would have you wrapped around his finger… you couldn’t have believed them.  It’s just about the money, you would’ve told them, but you would’ve been impossibly wrong.

For a lot of women in this sort of situation, it really was just about the money; likewise, for a lot of men in his situation, it was just about the sex.  But the two of you had something entirely unique, nearly indescribable in fact, that very few could ever understand.  In the beginning it became clear to you that he was more in need of a companion than a lover or girlfriend, specifically.  He was still grieving his wife, still devoted to her completely, but lonely right to his core… angry, even, at the prospect of a life without his family.  You were a shoulder to cry on, first and foremost.

You thought maybe he enjoyed spending money on you because it was his way to protect you, in a way he felt he had failed to protect his family before.

And it was you that fell for him first, for his passion and his kindness before his riches or looks.  Just when you feared that he’d only ever see you as a status symbol or dress-up doll, he returned your affections in spite of his guilt at first and the two of you were inseparable ever since.

Except, of course, when you were separated, and he was imprisoned, and you were left on your own again.  Not that spending his money wasn’t fun or anything, but his loneliness was more sympathetic with each night you spent in that massive bed by yourself, wanting just to feel the warmth of him beside you again.

So, it should be understandable why you were so on edge in anticipation of his arrival.  Your painted fingernails toyed with the hem of the dress you remembered he liked on you most— the silk one that barely covered your legs and was only held up by absurdly thin straps crossing at your back.

The night he bought it for you was clear in your mind like it was only yesterday; his voice in your ear telling you how he couldn’t resist taking such a thoughtful, intelligent woman like yourself and dressing you up like a mindless drolja… or ‘slut’ as it might be said in English.  Just remembering the way he said things like that sent a shiver down your spine as strong as really hearing it, your thighs clenching together on top of the plush leather seat.

Just as you thought you might go crazy waiting for him, you saw the car pull up— your Helmut at the wheel and his two associates in tow— and your heart soared.

Longer than all the years apart combined was the minute you spent waiting to descend the jet’s staircase, hoping to meet him on the taxiway at the exact right moment.  You made sure the jewelry around your wrists and neck was laying just right before finally making your appearance.

The way he looked up at you as you started to walk down towards him… it wasn’t so different from the way he’d looked at you through the glass for the past few years, really, but it felt different.  He certainly looked different to you, without the prisoner’s uniform and looking rather imposing with that massive coat instead.

You were careful to still walk slowly, since you were wearing stilettos and all, even when you wanted more than anything to run to him and jump into his arms.  Instead, you came face to face with him, loving that confident smirk which never seemed to leave his expression, and slipped your arms around his fur-adorned neck.

“Dobrodošla nazad, ljubavi,” you hummed, pressing your lips to his and almost letting out a squeal of surprise when he immediately slipped his tongue into your mouth, kissing you aggressively as his gloved hands gripped you at the waist.

He was rarely so bold, but then again he had been alone in prison for so long with only your words to try to satisfy him.  As much as you cherished being in his arms again, you also got the impression that this wasn’t just about making up for lost time— if that were true, he would’ve skipped the kiss entirely and taken you in the back of his car the moment he saw you.  No, this was a show of dominance, and not only for your benefit; that was clear when one of the men with him cleared his throat loudly and Helmut still didn’t stop.  

But that was very much like him: he was never finished with you until he was satisfied, and not a moment sooner.  His power over you was so effortless because you didn’t mind at all being his plaything… so much so that it was you leaning in for more when he pulled back, making him laugh softly.

“Did you miss me, lutka?” he purred, and you nodded as you bit your lip slightly.

“Always, Helmut,” you nodded, finally taking a moment to look away from him and at the visibly uncomfortable men at his side.  “I heard you freed him,” you said to the man you knew to be James Barnes, “thank you.”

“I’m still not over that,” the other— Sam, as you’d heard— added with a scoff.

“Come on, darling, let’s board the jet and we can talk there,” Helmut suggested, and you nodded as you turned to let them follow.

Of course, you couldn’t be totally sure, but you were pretty confident you could feel three pairs of eyes on your ass as you climbed the stairs.  Honestly, with how short the dress was, there was a risk of your thong being exposed as well, exactly the sort of almost-subtle teasing your Baron loved the most.

Once inside, Helmut showed James and Sam to their seats, and took his own as he instantly pulled you into his lap.  You caught the other two men glancing to the empty fourth seat, knowing there was plenty of room for you two to stay apart, but could they really blame you after how long you’d been alone?

Throughout the takeoff, one of his strong hands rested comfortably on your crossed legs as the other held his glass of champagne, and Sam’s gaze was attached to the way his thumb gently stroked your thigh while James seemed to be doing his best to look literally anywhere else.

“I noticed you haven’t introduced us to your… friend…” Sam trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, yes,” Helmut chuckled as if he actually forgot, “this is the woman who has been managing my estate in my unfortunate absence.”

“You’re trying to tell us this is your accountant?” James grumbled.

“She’s also my lover,” Helmut relented.

“Obviously,” Sam replied, unamused.

“She’s beautiful, no?” Helmut prompted as he ran his fingertips higher up your thigh, only glancing at the other men as he focused mainly on nuzzling against your neck. 

“Yeah, the finest money can buy,” Sam quipped, earning a cold glare from you and your man.  

“Are you with me for my money, draga?” Helmut asked you quietly as he planted a gentle kiss to the spot right where your neck met your shoulder.  You smiled and shook your head, staring right at Sam’s nervous expression.

“No, sir,” you answered aloud, and the title clearly made both of the other men uncomfortable… if, perhaps, in different ways.

“Uncross your legs,” he demanded, though his tone was still soft, and you obeyed right away as he started to lightly move his touch between your thighs.

James began adjusting in his seat and never really stopped, tugging at his jeans in an obvious attempt to conceal the growing bulge between his legs, but you only laughed at his clear embarrassment.

“See how respectful she is?” he cooed his praise, addressing the other men but keeping his eyes on you.  “I know exactly the words to make her obey to my every whim… James, you and her share that quality.”

The man sneered as you suppressed a giggle, squirming in Helmut’s lap impatiently.

“She’s loyal, too, unendingly dedicated,” he continued.  “You know she visited me weekly in Munich, at the very least?  Always by my side… like any good pet.”

A whimper escaped your throat at that term, your gut burning with need as he balanced praise and degradation effortlessly.  You didn’t find it truly demeaning only because you loved being his plaything so much, and because you knew mutual respect was at the core of your relationship with him.  But, still, it was nice to feel small when he was there to keep you safe.

James watched with a small snarl and Helmut slipped his hand into your panties, and Sam licked his lips but shifted his stare to your face instead, just as your eyes started to roll back and your head fell weakly on Helmut’s shoulder.

“And such a precious little pussy as well,” he added darkly, giving you a spank between your legs to make you choke on a squeal.  “Sweet, delicate… much like a Turkish delight, but even more addictive.”

“Please, sir,” you whispered under your breath.

“You want more, don’t you?  Tako očajno…” he chuckled.  You nodded, already starting to soak through the lace and rock your hips.  “You want to be fucked, yes?”

“Yes,” you moaned.

“Be polite and take care of our guests first, draga,” he encouraged, kissing your neck one more time before releasing you from his embrace.

Although you were most interested in being with the man you loved, you were happy to obey whatever he wished— and, frankly, sinking to your knees on the jet’s carpeted floor to crawl towards James wasn’t exactly lacking in its own appeal.

James’ eyes narrowed as Sam’s widened, and you sat up between the spread, denim-clad thighs as you blinked up at him and licked your lips.

He tensed up slightly as your hands delicately slid up his legs, his Adam's apple bobbing with a dry swallow when you grabbed his belt buckle and began to open it.

“You… you don’t have to…” he mumbled, apparently too distracted to finish his sentence.

“Yes I do,” you denied.  “Because he told me to.”

Sam winced and looked away as you unzipped James’ fly and pulled his jeans and boxers down to expose his cock, already hard and leaking a bit from the tip.  You smiled proudly, but chose not to tease him for his eagerness and instead just get right to work; you gripped him at the base and gave a few kitten licks over his shaft, savoring the taste of his precum and looking up at his expression that was equal parts shocked and sultry.

You only spent a moment suckling on the head before skipping right ahead and deepthroating him all the way to base.

“Oh, fuck,” James choked, reaching up grab the seat behind his head as his back arched, making you want to smile though you thankfully kept it down.

“Well-trained, isn’t she?” Helmut interjected proudly.

“Y-yeah,” he answered, his other hand grabbing your shoulder tightly as you began to bob your head.

Occasionally, in your peripheral, you caught Sam looking, and it made you wiggle your hips with the desire to rub your throbbing clit against the floor.  

You got a chance to breathe whenever you pulled back to suck the head and stroke the rest with your hand, and in a few minutes you had already found all the little spots that made him moan the loudest, or made his legs quiver a bit by your sides.

“Stop,” Helmut instructed, and you were already starting to pull off when James hissed and grabbed your head to hold you down.

“N-no, please,” he blurted out.

“She’ll come back to you but Sam is looking rather lonely in the corner over there,” Helmut explained, and James hesitated but let you go.  You wiped your lips and started to move towards Sam, but he shook his head.

“I don’t roll like that, man,” Sam explained, “I don’t want her doing it just because you said so.”

“Darling, won’t you tell us how badly you want to service your new friends?” Helmut challenged, and you swallowed nervously because you were a bit embarrassed to say too much and potentially anger him.  But the sparkle in his eyes didn’t seem like he was leading you into a trap… even if the other two men were confident that was what it meant.  “You find them attractive, don’t you?”

“Um, yes, sir,” you answered hesitantly, “I… saw them, and I wanted to know what their cocks looked like.  And tasted like.”

Helmut smiled and leaned forward, giving you a spank of approval through your dress (which was riding up to show most of your butt anyways).

You looked at Sam expectantly.  “May I please suck your cock, Mr. Wilson?”

His eyes darkened and you knew you were on the right track.  “What happened to ‘sir’?” he asked coyly.

“I only call Helmut ‘sir,’” you explained, “but I could call you something else.”

His finger curled to encourage you to come closer and you crawled up to sit between his legs.

“Call me ‘daddy,’” he finally instructed, opening his belt and pants for you.

“Yes, daddy,” you nodded, keeping your mouth slack for him to push his cock into.  You hummed as the head slid over your tongue, looking up at him as he bit his lip and thrust back into your throat.

“Shit, that’s good,” he whispered, guiding your head at the speed he wanted.  “Who taught you how to suck cock so good, baby?”

Helmut raised his hand and James snorted.

Sam was a bit longer but he was still no challenge to swallow all the way down, and you heard him breathing through his teeth but let your eyes fall shut to focus on your work.

“Is this… how you treat all your guests?” Sam asked tensely between heavy breaths.

“Only those who are at the right place at the right time,” Helmut answered cryptically, but you happened to know this sort of occasion was incredibly rare.  Although it might seem counterintuitive to some, this was his way to re-stake his claim over you, and after so much time apart apparently he felt he had a lot to prove.  “Keep going, but don’t let him come,” another instruction echoed from behind you.  

You pulled back to stroke Sam’s length while you croaked: “yes, sir.”

Helmut had you go back and forth for a while, keeping both men on edge and occasionally allowing you to stroke one while you sucked the other, your own need growing so quickly as you dreamed to have something inside you, anything really.

Obviously, he knew exactly how much having a cock down your throat made you wet and desperate.  And he knew that such a taboo act of, in a certain sense, breaking fidelity with a man as he not only watched but commanded you to do it would get you right on the edge in no time.

He had gotten in your head so quickly after meeting you, memorized everything that made you tick, and not once had he forgotten.  

“I-I’m close,” James warned as you sucked his head, making you slide the tip of your tongue over his slit before you took a break to suck his swollen balls into your mouth.  “Fuck, can I come?”

“Not yet,” Helmut instructed sternly.

You felt him tug you back and into his lap suddenly, and he quickly yanked your dress down to expose your breasts to the men in front of you.

“Her tits are hard, no?” Helmut prompted them, and you watched them both nod as a warm hand reached around from behind you to tweak your hardened nipples.  “Yes, she really loves to get on her knees and choke on cock.  I’d let her do the same to me but I have greater plans for her…”

As if it weren’t obvious what those plans were, he pulled your skirt up to your waist as well, spreading your legs and pulling your flimsy panties aside.  

“Is she wet?” he asked the men and they nodded again.

“Drenched,” Sam chimed in.

Helmut gave another spank to your clit as you shuddered, then rubbing slowly as if to soothe the sting.  “I’ll teach you what happens when you get wet for another man, little girl,” Helmut growled against your ear, “not to mention two.  And they’re Americans, do you have no shame?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” you whispered.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he corrected.  “I love seeing you act like a whore all for me.”

You hadn’t even realized he’d taken his cock out of his trousers until you felt the thick tip of him prodding at your entrance.  It was already a lot just by itself, but then you had these strangers staring at you and for some reason it only turned you on more.

That ‘some’ reason of course being that you loved your Baron taking ownership over you for anyone to see.  Clearly, prison had given him much more creative ideas than just fucking on a balcony or against the glass of a window.  

“Are you ready for me?” he asked in a hushed voice against your skin which seemed to be burning hot all of a sudden.  

“Yes, sir,” you whispered.

It took a lot not to cry out as he pulled you down and filled you in one deep stroke, your nails digging into the leather of the chair’s armrests at either side.  But more than the sting of pain it felt so perfect, so fundamentally right, and just after your gasp of shock was a sigh of relief.

He sighed along with you and let his forehead fall between your shoulder blades, clearly a bit overwhelmed at being inside you again for the first time in so long.  “Draga...” he breathed, “not that I ever doubted… but you must have been faithful to me; you’re so tight, I know no one has touched you since I left.”

“Only you, sir, nobody but you,” you agreed breathlessly, eyes falling shut.  

He kissed your back as he started to move your body on top of his, the hands at your waist tightening and tugging on the remaining fabric of your dress.  “Tako dobro,” he hissed, “you feel so good, darling, you can’t imagine how long I spent dreaming of being inside you again.”

A tear rolled down your cheek, and it would be impossible to say for sure what caused it— a little bit of everything, really.  

Opening your eyes and noticing the way they were staring at you, you leaned forward and took each of the other men’s hard cocks in your hands, stroking in time with the way you bounced your hips on top of Helmut’s.

The both of them had been on the edge for a bit too long, Sam already biting his lip as James thrust himself up into your palm.

“Fuck, please,” James moaned, “I need to come in your mouth.”

“Come closer then,” you breathed, watching him stand up and bring his cock right to your lips which you eagerly gagged on, any pretense long gone as you sloppily sucked and stroked while Helmut thrust up to slam into you.

“Ohh, fuck, that’s it— gonna come,” he grunted as he reached up to press his hand against the ceiling of the jet, and it all must have hit him rather unexpectedly since the moment his musky taste began to coat your tongue, you heard a clanging sound and realized he had pushed up so hard that he bent the steel interior, his other hand tightening into a fist in your hair.

You moaned happily as you swallowed every drop, still sucking even as James’ moans became loud and higher in pitch.

“Fuck, don’t stop, oh god,” he whined, cock throbbing even after he stopped filling your throat with come.  You reached between his legs and squeezed his balls a bit and you could tell his knees nearly buckled, causing him to finally pull back and tilt your chin up to stare down at you.  “You’re somethin’ else,” he panted, taking a moment to catch his breath before falling back and slumping into his chair.

You looked over at Sam and saw his hand was still lazily guiding yours to stroke over his cock although come already painted his abs and dripped down from his swollen head over your fingers.  “Can I clean up your mess, please, daddy?” you asked, voice a bit hoarse though you couldn’t be sure if that was from the deepthroating or just how hard Helmut was fucking you now.

Pulling your hand back, Sam’s eyes followed as you lapped the thick, hot come from your hand, moaning openly at the taste.  You sucked your fingers down into your throat, not leaving a drop behind.

He leaned back in his chair and began to catch his breath, both of them now staring at you with that exhausted, glazed-over expression.  They looked satisfied, and you considered it your reward for a job well done.

"A belly full of come and a pussy full of my cock, you must be feeling ecstatic," Helmut presumed.

"Yes, sir," you agreed quickly.

All at once he began to fuck you faster, harder, deeper which you hadn't even realized was an option.  He growled a string of the filthiest curses in your ear, in Sokovian so the other men wouldn’t understand, with one hand wrapped around your neck as the other pinched your clit almost too roughly.  Even in your native language you could barely understand it: how could you when he was so deep inside you?

“Will you come, draga?” he finally asked, voice rough with his own desperation.

“Not until you let me, sir,” you moaned, and he chuckled a bit.

“Good girl.”

But wow, the way he rubbed your clit was impossible to ignore, like he was trying to make your promise impossible to keep.  You tightened your jaw, moaning through your teeth now as you fought to keep your orgasm at bay.  

“Please sir, I need to come, please— so close, I’m so close,” you mewled.

“I won’t be much longer, either,” he warned.  "Too long without you has taken its toll, I need to finish."

“Inside me, sir, please,” you begged, “come inside me.”

You felt him nod against the back of your neck.  “Come for me,” he instructed simply, and as obedient as ever, you felt your walls pulsing as pleasure overtook you.  Not even meaning to, you threw your head back, and he had to hold you tightly to keep you from shaking too violently as the waves of sensation washed over you.

The heat of him spilling inside you warmed you from the inside out, making you smile happily through the fog of your high and intentionally tighten your walls around him.  He hissed and throbbed within you, his fingers digging into your hips now as he held you down against him.

He gave a few more lazy thrusts until finally slowing to a stop, both of you catching your breath eventually.

"My... accountant will be keeping my cock warm for the remainder of the flight," Helmut informed the other men, "I hope you don't mind?

"No, no, go ahead," James approved as his head fell back against his chair.

It was still quite a ways to your final destination so it wasn't much of a surprise that you ended up falling asleep in the Baron's arms, something you used to do every night that had been only a dream for years.  Perhaps this afternoon wasn't the reunion you expected, but it was somehow even more perfect than you could've ever wished for.

///

dobrodošla nazad, ljubavi = добродошла назад, љубави = “welcome home, love”

lutka = лутка = “doll”

draga = драга = “dear/beloved”

tako očajno = тако очајно = "so desperate"

tako dobro = тако добро = "so good"

[epickiya722]

REACTIONS TO EPISODE 1 - A QUIET BEGINNING

I'll be cutting it here because of spoilers (duh) and that it is kinda long. Also, this is played for laughs while also being my genuine reactions. I went back and added pictures so it will be a little easier to know which scene I'm talking about. Tried not to add too many pictures, too. I wrote this on my phone, okay?

Also, here is where you can view the OP & ED!

-> OP

-> ED

Thanks for the recap, Midoriya! Actually, that's one thing I do like about the recaps and narration is that Midoriya is doing it. It reminds the audience (at least for me) that this is still his story.

Also want to appreciate this scene right here. I love the colors. The pinks, blues and purples are so beautiful here.

MY GREEN BOY!!! 💚💚💚

Of course, opening is a banger as always. Gonna add that to the playlist!

It hurts to be a manga reader... Twice, how I adore you!!!

Oh shit, Giran! Dude! How have you been!

Skeptic! Drop that hair routine!

I just want everyone to know that whenever the Doctor shows up on screen, I wanna fight him. "No quirk", my ass. YOU AIN'T INNOCENT!!!

ROCK LOCK, MY GUY!!

THE WILD WILD PUSSYCATS!! RAGDOLL, I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY! 😭

Oh! Ectoplasm is there!!

*accidentally pauses on close-up of tiny Nomu* The hell is that?! It's so weird-ugly-cute. OMG, the little guy has on shoes!!!

Pixie-Bob's reaction! 🤣🤣🤣

"It wouldn't be hard to arrest Kyudai Garaki." That's right, lock his ass up. Throw away the key. I don't care.

I love that Present Mic has throat spray just how Eraser Head has eye drops. Small detail, but it makes sense! Kinda always figured he would have that because of his quirk... he has to have a lot on hand. So many occupations that requires his voice.

*Miruko appears with that grin of her* MY QUEEN, MY GODDESS, MY HERO, HER!! HER!! HEEEERRR!!! 💜💜💜🐇🐇🐇🌙🌙🌙

WASH!! I want his backstory.

RYUKYU!! MY DRAGON QUEEN!!

SNIPE!!! I'm telling you if he had a bigger part...

THIRTEEN!!!

*Manual appears on screen* Aaaand my crush is back, I have no shame.

Sansa is there and I just want to hug him!

Tsukauchi gotta be one of the most stressed out people in the series. I just know it.

That one shot of the Pros. THEY'RE ABOUT TO DROP AN ALBUM!!

On that note, I love how everyone is walking and then there's Miruko that is hopping. Damn it, I just love her!

*shows Edgeshot and his team* Again, the pain of being a manga reader...oh, but Fatgum is patting Amajiki's head to calm him down. Oh, that is just so sweet! How can you hate Fatgum?

*shows Midnight* It's actually been a while since I seen you! ... again... manga reader...

Oh, hi, Cementos! Mt. Lady! Kamui Woods!

*shows Edgeshot again* Why are you so pretty?

Oh, Ms. Joke is there! Been a while since I seen you!!!

1-B got some screen time!! Komori!! Honenuki!!

Midnight comforting Komori, aaaawww!!

Kaminari realizing his position in the mission. Honestly, same. He has the funniest reactions though!!! 🤣

"I miss Class A!" Kaminari, sweetie... Tokoyami is right there!

*shows the Rear Guard of Team Edgeshot* Oh, look! They're about to drop their album, too!!! Who is the big cat guy next to Sato???

I love it when 1A hype each other up! I WANT THEM HAPPY!!!

*shows Sansa* I'm sorry, he's just so damn adorable. He's a cat man with a cute cat face. The hell do you want from me?!

*shows Slidin' Go* Look, sir, please. Unclench your cheeks. And fight me!

Never mind, Death Arms got him! GOOD!!!

Katsuki, gremlin son of mine, I love you, but please! 😭 We all know no matter how much you express something you don't like, you're still going to go through with it!

"Bakugo, we only have our Provisional Licenses." Todoroki! 😆

*shows Koda* BABY!

BURNIN!!!❤️‍🔥💚

OH SHIT HERE WE GO!!

The heroes really pulled up in the hospital.

In said scene, there is a kid wearing gloves and a mask while everyone isn't. I feel like that kid.

"Miruko, to the morgue." Her - hops to it!...again I love her.

*The Doctor shows up* Ooooh, I just wanna.👊

Endeavor spooking him. Okay, that was funny!

THE DOCTOR'S REACTION WHEN ENDEAVOR REVEALED WHO HE REALLY IS!! 🤣🤣🤣 OMG THAT IS HILARIOUS!!

Oh, new halftime cut? Midoriya looks so good!! You can tell this is the turn of the series.

Hi, Natsuo! Hi, Fuyumi!

Eraser Head grabbing him and erasing his quirk. Me - 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Damn... he looks straight outta a horror movie. The Doctor when he ages.

Bruh, how Tsukauchi is looking down at him. It's the "you ain't nothing" look.

When Present Mic approached him... oh my inner Present Mic Fangirl is coming out! Look, he is my favorite Hero next to Miruko and Rock Lock, okay?

Oooh, Present Mic is scary... marry me.

Nosy ass people, the Doctor ain't a sweet man, get your asses out of there!

I love the patient just beaming in joy as Tiger is carrying him. Same, buddy, same.

*Miruko shows again* 💜💜💜💜💜 LOOK I LOVE MIRUKO!!

*shows Rooftop Trio* Don't make me cry right now.

Oh, you're begging for forgiveness?! MY GUY, YOU...!!! ARGH!!

I love how Miruko said "Endeavor". You just know she is ready to wreck some crap up. You go, girl!

Real quick, I just want to applaud the VAs though. Like amazing!!!

FUCK IT WAS A CLONE!!! AND FUCK, IT'S NOMUS!!

Hold up... I want that chair...

"The bloodshed and happy days I shared with All For One!" I swear, they're married. It's unbelievable.

MIRUKO IS REALLY JUST OUT HERE KICKING ASS!! THAT SPIN MOVE!!

Johnny has on shoes, too! Okay, listen, the tiny Nomus are kinda cute... I want better for them.

MIRUKO KICKING THROUGH THE WALL!!! 🎶THROUGH THE WINDOW! THROUGH THE WALL!! 🎶

Oh shit... I'm sorry, Johnny. You did deserve better though.

The Doctor reacting to seeing Miruko! 🤣

Okay, it left off on a beautiful shot of Miruko's gorgeous face. Blessed! Ooh, just wait when I make icons out of that shot!!

The ending song... it put me in my feels. The animation, beautiful. Yep, putting that in my playlist, too.

Ooh, I'm excited for the next episode!!

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study 

me:

yeah but im not gonna 

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?” 

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs. 

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-” 

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken. 

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :* 

[marvelouslytrekking]

Hidden Injury

Pairing: Leonard McCoy/Reader Summary: An away mission goes south (as they do) and you’re left running for your life and even once you’re mostly safe, you try to keep your injuries from you boyfriend. Word Count: 1280 Warnings: maybe a swear word, brief mention of injury, passing out A/N: Wow it has been forever since I have written for Bones or Star Trek. This was kinda request from an anon for some hurt/comfort not sure if this really fits that but I wrote it in like 2 hours and it’s been awhile since I have had the ability to do that so I am proud of it and hope you enjoy it!

Just once, just one time, you wanted a mission to go according to plan. You were so sick of hearing the words “This one will be simple, just a diplomatic stop,” only to find yourself running through a jungle while being chased by the other species on the planet that hate the ones you were there to meet with.

And just once, just one time it would be nice if when things went south that the transporter would work so you weren’t stuck running for longer than your legs and lungs liked. What was the point of advanced technology if it never actually worked to get you out of these types of situations.

And worse yet, you never seemed to manage to be able to stick together, easily being split up so you were not only running for your life but you had no idea if your crewmates were okay or not. You vowed to yourself that next time Kirk thought he needed an engineer on the planet you are going to refuse to be the one. Let Scotty risk his ass, not you. You would much rather be running around onboard the ship trying to get transporters online.

You’d think that having been in a similar situation multiple times, you would have learned a few things, but evidently you had not. You turned around, trying to see if you had made any headway on getting away from the aliens but unfortunately, you hadn’t, and you managed to miss the giant log in front of you. You crashed down to the ground hard. You could tell immediately that you had definitely not only gave yourself a small concussion but something in your foot did not feel right. But at that moment you didn’t have time to dwell on either so instead you quickly pulled yourself up and continued to run. You continued to move in a zigzag, trying to dodge their spears and whatever else was being launched against you, as well as trying to lose them. Finally you made enough crazy turns that it seems they were no longer behind you.

You felt relief when you noticed a small cave and you limped your way into the opening, hoping it would hide you for long enough. Once you stopped and had a moment to catch your breath, you suddenly could feel the sharp and overwhelming pain in your foot. There was no way that it hadn’t been broken, and running for another few miles probably had done you the opposite of any good for it. You found yourself sliding down the wall of the cave. Trying not to dwell on the pain in both your foot and your head.

Your pain had distracted you so much you missed the footsteps that had been approaching you.

“Oh thank god, you’re okay.” You startled when you heard a familiar voice.

“Jesus Len, don’t sneak up on a person like that,” You scold him.

“Sorry,” He apologizes before joining you on the cave floor. “You okay? You’re not hurt are you.”

“I’m fine, Just sick of running from angry aliens all the time.” You tell him. You know you should mention the foot at the very least. There was no way if you needed to run you were going to be able to and he literally was a doctor but you just didn’t want to deal with it at the moment. You didn’t want to be the engineer that got injured on the mission and slowed everyone down.

“I agree with you there,” Bones grumbled, but you notice him running his eyes over you to make sure you truly are okay. “You sure you’re okay though?”

“Yes.” You tell him, you hope he doesn’t notice that you’re gritting your teeth.

He gives you a slight skeptical look but doesn’t push it any further. You figure he must have lost his tricorder if he hasn’t pushed it in your face already. You aren’t sure if you’re relieved or not about that fact.

You two sit in silence for a while, you find yourself wanting to close your eyes and go to sleep but you force yourself to stay awake. One thing you know is that falling asleep with a concussion isn’t a great idea. But you don’t stop yourself from resting your head on Len’s shoulder. He doesn’t seem to mind, happy to have you close.

It isn’t an issue much longer when you suddenly hear both of your comms go off.

“Transporter’s back online! We have a lock on your location and will be beaming you up shortly!” You hear Scotty’s voice.

“Took you long enough,” You tease him, not showing how relieved you truly are to hear his voice.

“Well my best engineer wasn’t here to help me out.”

Bones starts to stand up as you’re talking with Scotty and suddenly you realize you’re going to have to get up as well.

Before you can say anything, Bones has his hand stretched out for you to take. You try to position yourself in a way that you won’t have to put pressure on your leg. And it almost works, but the sudden movement of standing, or getting mostly pulled up, has your head spinning, and to get your balance, you instinctively put pressure on your foot.

You felt yourself scream out in pain as arms wrapped around you and darkness started to cloud your vision as the pain became too much.

` You wake up with just a dull pain over your entire body. Probably from the amount of running you did. But you immediately recognize that you are in one of the private rooms in the medbay. You weren’t sure your injury had warranted a private room but when you noticed Leonard sitting beside you, you realize it is probably less to do with the injury and more to do with the fact you were about to get yelled at.

“Don’t even think about pretending you’re still asleep.” He grumbled when he noticed you trying to close your eyes again.

“What if instead I just try to fall back asleep.” You countered.

“Not until after we’ve talked.”

“What are we talking about?” You asked as if you didn’t know. “How pretty the trees on that planet were?”

“No. We’re talking about the fact that you promised to stop hiding your injuries from me.” You could hear the frustration in his voice.

“I thought that was in reference to like, cuts and burns from engineering.” You tried.

“If I am worried about little cuts and burns, don’t you think I’d like to know when you completely shatter your foot and give yourself a mild concussion?” Leonard huffed. You can tell he is annoyed, but you also can hear the worry in his voice, especially when it dropped lower and he added, “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” You mumbled, refusing to look up at him.

“I know, just please don’t hide things like this from me again.” Leonard pleaded softly, resting his hand on your cheek, pulling your face to look at him. You notice how tired he looks. You felt terrible. He had to run for his life as well and when you could have been safe and relaxing, you scared him by passing out in his arms.

“I promise.” You told him. While you knew it wasn’t going to be easy, you much preferred not to be a burden, you also knew that you couldn’t keep doing these sort of things to him so you would make an effort. Especially because you hated seeing the disappointment on his face and much preferred the one of longing and love.

[dollslayer]

Champagne Problems

Bartender!Bucky x Reader

Summary: When your ex-boyfriend makes a surprise appearance at your sister's wedding you find help from an unexpected source.

W/C: 4,642

Warnings: NO MINORS, Smut, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, swearing, alcohol consumption

A/N: Hey! I know it's been a minute (sorry), I wrote this for @saiyanprincessswanie's writing challenge using the bartender au! If you like this please reblog and comment and check out my other fics!! Cheers!

Main Masterlist

You sighed internally before slapping on a smile for yet another group picture. Your bridesmaid dress was itchy and you already regretted spending the entire night in it, as the reception was just starting. But it was your sister’s day and you decided that if what she really wanted was for you to wear this itchy monstrosity to honor her wedding then damn it, you’d do it. So you leaned in close with the rest of the wedding party and posed some more.

When the photographer had finished with his photos you were ushered to the family table and wedged between your mother and your aunt. You mentally cursed your sister for seating you with them because they were going to spend the entire night trying to set you up with someone while simultaneously lamenting that you’d dumped your boyfriend of 4 years just a month earlier. Your mother wanted grandchildren so badly, you didn’t know why she couldn’t just settle to get them from your sister.

“Sweetheart, you and Steve were so good together though! Remember when he surprised you at Christmas with that puppy? I don’t know how you let a man like that go…” Your mom chided.

You grabbed the attention of a passing server and grabbed the champagne off their tray. If you were going to have this conversation again you needed liquid courage to do so. You downed it in three sips and your mom scoffed at you.

“Mom, we've been over this. I didn’t ask him to do that, we agreed we weren’t ready for a dog. Ugh, oh my god, anyways, we just didn’t work together. Sometimes things don’t work out, Mom. You’ll still get grandkids, just not from me.” You patted her on the shoulder but she just pursed her lips and looked past you to your aunt.

You wanted nothing more than to get wasted but you couldn’t do that to your sister. You wouldn’t get blackout drunk, but you were definitely getting drunk tonight. The reception was being held in a hotel and the wedding party had a block of rooms reserved so it’s not like you had to drive. You just had one thing to do before you did that.

The moment you’d been dreading had finally arrived, the toast. You held your freshly topped-off glass of champagne and brought your fork to it to get everyone’s attention. Someone handed you the mic and you hesitated before taking it and nervously cleared your throat.

By what you assumed could only be the grace of God you managed to deliver the perfect toast about finding the right person and soulmates and anything else you might find in a hallmark card with only minor stumbles. Everyone clapped and your brother-in-law wiped a stray tear and everyone finally dug into dinner. You just hoped that would mean your mother would be quiet about Steve for the next 20 minutes and then you could escape to the open bar.

____

You almost made it through dinner scott-free and sat back to watch your sister’s first dance. Just when you thought you were in the clear it was your aunt that threw a wrench in your plans. She was three glasses of wine deep and had that glassy look in her eye when she grabbed your elbow and pulled you closer. She spoke to you in a low voice while trying not to fumble her words.

“Listen kiddo, I know your mom is hard on you about Stevie but she just wants what’s best for you. What you two had… it was so good even I liked him! I don’t like anybody y’know that. So.. so why don’t you jus’ give ‘im another chance, make your mom happy? Couldn’t be that bad, could it? Maybe he’ll even… surprise you”

You mentally blocked out her words halfway through her speech, hoping neither of you would remember it by the end of the night. Right now you just had to get her to stop so you could get away from the table. You didn’t think you could take one more second of being shamed for leaving Steve.

You smiled sweetly and nodded in understanding towards her words.

“I know, Aunt Linda. I know. Sometimes things happen, I love mom but I’ll find someone else.”

With that you patted her on the shoulder and took off in search of the bar.

There were two bars and you wanted to go to the less crowded one. Looking around you had spotted it just past the dancefloor and made a beeline. Weaving through the now open dance floor and escaping the invitations to join your family you finally made it and leaned heavily against the countertop with a sigh.

“Rough night?” Your eyes follow the gruff yet amused voice and find that it belongs to a very handsome man with a defined jaw, clear blue eyes, and long hair that was tied back.

You smiled and rolled your eyes.

“You don’t know that half of it. Nothing like a wedding to remind you how single you are” You joked.

“Ah. Yeah, that’ll do it. That’s rough. You look like you need a drink, what can I get you?”

“Dealer’s choice. Just no vodka.” You requested.

He smirked and nodded, perusing the lines of bottles that were in front of him. He bit his lip as he concentrated on what to make and you tried not to stare. You watched him get to work on your drink and couldn’t help but notice the way you could see his muscles move underneath his dress shirt.

He turned back around and proudly presented you with something fizzy in a highball glass.

“My own concoction, I even used the non-watered down liquor. Just for you” He says with a wink.

You try your best to hide your shy smile and accept the drink.

“Thank you, how sweet of you.” You tell him.

“It’s nothin’. So how’s a gal like you single? If you don’t mind my asking. Seems pretty impossible to me.”

You're caught somewhere between flattery and embarrassment and just hope it doesn't show on your face. You take a long sip of your drink and gear up to answer him.

“Well, I just got out of a 4 year relationship, actually. He’s really sweet but he always had a tendency to steamroll my needs and just do whatever he was going to do. Eventually that shit adds up.” You sigh.

“Like for example - last year we had talked about getting a dog and I said I wasn’t ready, we’re just both way too busy and then on Christmas day he shows up with this puppy! And then I’m the villain for telling him no! The puppy ended up going to a good home but he did stuff like that all the time. It just became too much. Anyways now my mom won’t get off my ass about leaving him.” You shook your head.

“A puppy? Wow, that’s… intense. That’s a lot, I’m sorry. You finish that drink and I’ll pour us both a shot” He laughed.

You nodded in agreement and downed the rest of the cocktail. He held up two shot glasses and extended one to you.

“A toast, to… wait. I don’t even know your name!”

His shoulders shook as he laughed and he answered you.

“I’m James but you can call me Bucky” You made a face at that.

“What kinda name is Bucky?” You asked before giving him your own name.

“Whatever, I’ve got two shots of tequila, you want one or not?” How could you say no?

“A toast,” You continued, “To you and your weird name, Bucky.”

He laughed and you clinked your glasses together, then against the counter before downing them in one go. You tried your best not to make a face and looked up at Bucky to find him extending you the lime chaser, which you took gratefully.

“Hoo… I could use like, 3 more of those to get through tonight. So, how’d you get into bartending?”

“I needed somethin’ to put me through school and I figured this beats stripping. Though, with some of the customers we get sometimes I’m not so sure”

You laughed at that and Bucky went on to tell you anecdotes of all the crazy people he’s had to serve, disastrous weddings, and the time he got a lapdance from the bride herself. You hadn’t even realized how much time had passed but you were enjoying talking to him, forgetting your mission to be drunk.

The two of you kept swapping stories and were getting to know each other a bit more. He let you vent about Steve and just listened, it was refreshing to talk to someone and not be told what it is that you should be wanting. When you pictured the night you didn’t picture yourself confiding in the bartender tonight but if you were honest you were enjoying yourself. It beat awkwardly dancing with your family and enduring more disappointed remarks from your family.

You had hoped you could hide out at the bar and spend the entire night unscathed when the double doors to the ballroom opened. Your heartbeat in your ears as time slowed down around you as a blond head of hair made its way through the archway. Your laughter died in your throat when Baby blue eyes found you across the room and you froze like a deer in headlights. No. Nononononono this isn’t happening.

Time has somehow come to a halt while simultaneously hurtling forward since you can’t get yourself unstuck from this moment yet fail to realize that Steve is now standing right in front of you. His hair is swept back perfectly and he flashes you that million dollar smile of his that shows off his dimples perfectly. You scold yourself for checking him out but damn did he always clean up nice.

“Hey, sweetheart” he says shyly, as if he’s not crashing your sister’s wedding to get with you.

“What…? What are you doing… here?” You ask quietly, trying to avoid a scene.

Before he can answer you your mom comes up behind Steve and squeezes his shoulders tight, all with a big, bright smile on her face. Of course. How did I not see this coming?

“You made it!” She exclaimed as she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“Of course, sorry to have missed the ceremony but there’s still plenty to celebrate, right?” He asked with his signature boyish smirk.

Shock was still in full effect on your features as you stood stock still. But that shock was soon giving way to anger as you slowly pieced together everything that was happening. Your mom had brought back Steve to try and get you back together and Steve was steamrolling you again.

“I… I, can’t. I can’t-” You started

“Sweetheart, how many of those have you had? You need some water.” Steve motions to the drink in your hand and you feel the anger running through your veins about to take over. You have to move this out of the room. Now.

“Why don’t we move this to the hall?” You suggested quietly.

You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you started moving towards the exit but you did spare one last panicked glance towards Bucky. He looked confused and his brows were quirked in a way that made him look upset, almost. You sent him a pleading look before turning back around and preparing yourself to deal with this shitshow that had slowly unfolded before you.

Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Hold. You got this. Your hand begins to push the door open when Steve’s much larger one covers yours and gets the job done. An action that you once would’ve thought was sweet, one that you would’ve made you swoon, even, is currently pissing you off.

You two made your way to the hallway and you looked around before you started in on him.

“Okay, what the hell, Rogers? Crashing my sister’s wedding? Really?! I don’t give a shit if my mom put you up to this I-”

“Sweetheart, please. She thought you might be having second thoughts and maybe us seeing each other would… patch things up. We just want what’s best for you, sweetheart” Steve attempted to console you, reaching out to try and rub your arm but you pulled back.

“No! I am so sick of you running me over! You never listened to me or what I had to say and this is exactly why I broke up with you, Steve! You’re being so fucki-”

“Hey, babe, everything okay out here?” Bucky’s voice surprised you but not as much as his lips pressing a kiss into your hair and his arms wrapping around your waist.

You had to crane your neck to look back and up at him. It took all of two seconds for you to piece together what you’d hoped was the truth. Bucky raised his eyebrows at you as if to say “come on” and in all your desperation you went with it. You supposed that his formal uniform made him pass for a regular guest.

“I, ah, yeah, yes. Steve here was just leaving, right?” You asked him.

Steve raised his eyebrows in a stunned expression, mouth slightly open in disbelief. His hand reached out towards your shoulder but Bucky pulled you back gently.

“Doll, are you serious? Who even is this guy? Does your mom know about this?”

“No, she doesn’t. It’s… new…” You told him.

“Right,” Bucky cuts in, “It’s new so we weren’t telling anyone just yet but she figured I should at least be here for the reception”

“Seriously?” Steve scoffs, “Man bun? What does he have that I don’t? C’mon, you know what you and I have is real.”

“What you and I have is over, Steve. You never listened to me, always pushed me further than I was ready for. We’re done, it’s over. I’m sorry for whatever Mom told you”

Steve took a harsh breath inwards and you watched him try to decide whether he should walk away or blow up. Based off of the veins popping in his forehead, he was opting to blow up.

“Listen, I don’t know what you’re up to but-”

“She said it’s over, punk. Move along” Bucky cut in. He took a protective step in front of you and pushed his shoulders back, squaring up to Steve. Steve seethed quietly and you two exchanged very tense glances.

“I’m telling your mother about this. I doubt she’ll be happy to hear you brought some random person to your sister’s wedding.” Steve spat.

He walked past the two of you and bumped shoulders harshly with Bucky. Bucky’s jaw tensed and his grip on your waist tightened but he didn’t retaliate. Instead he took a step back to get a proper look at you.

“You okay?”

“Why did you do that? You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but you looked like you could really use the help.”

“Well… thank you. I appreciate it, more than you know. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you weren’t there.” You laughed to yourself a little and added, “We’re not even together 5 minutes and you already have all my emotional baggage”

Bucky laughed at that and shook his head.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ve got some crazy exes too. So what now? You going back in?”

You became a little flustered at that but moved past it with a sheepish grin.

“No,” You shook your head, “I think it’s best for everyone if I just go up to my room and avoid a whole scene.”

“Well at least let me walk you up. I wouldn’t put it past that creep to follow you.”

“What about the bar?”

“We’re overstaffed and the party’s winding down anyways. They’ll get on without me”

“Alright then” You accepted and started off towards the elevators.

You two were standing in the elevator waiting for the doors to close when you spotted the doors to the ballroom open. Your mother was looking around, her face a picture of anger. Lucky for you the doors closed before she could look in your direction and you let out a sigh of relief.

“You know as far as fake boyfriends go I’d say you’re pretty good”

“Just good? C’mon I had that guy on the ropes.”

“Yeah alright,” You relented with a grin.

You exited the elevator car and made your way down the hallway until finally you reached your door. You fished your keycard out of your wallet and turned to Bucky.

“Hey… do you wanna… maybe come in? Hang out? I know you’ve got work but if you’re overstaffed maybe…” You trailed off. There was a beat of silence and you felt regret instantly, thinking you’ve asked too much of him. “Y’know what nevermind, you don’t have to, I’m sorry I-”

“I’d love to hang out with you, if you’re okay with that. Plus it’s probably better I wait to get back until the wedding’s over. Can’t really show my face as your boyfriend and then get back behind the bar, can I?” He said with a soft smile.

“Suppose you’re right,” You swiped the card and cracked open the door.

You stepped inside and felt like you could finally breathe again. You kicked off your heels and went to turn on the lights. You reached back to get the zipper of your dress but couldn’t quite get there.

“Will you get my zipper?” You asked Bucky. He nodded and came closer to you.

You could feel his warmth radiating from him when he was this close. Your nostrils filled with the heady scent of his aftershave. He smells so good. He unzipped you halfway and left the rest for you.

You thanked him and grabbed your change of clothes and headed to the bathroom. Relieved to finally be free of the itchy monstrosity of a bridesmaids dress you sighed and put on a tank top and pair of shorts. You realized the tank top showed a little more of your cleavage than intended but you shrugged it off and exited the bathroom.

Bucky’s eyes landed on you and he took a sharp breath in but tried to play it cool. It half worked, you caught him staring a little bit and giggled to yourself. When you looked at him again he was undoing his tie and the first two buttons of his shirt. Wonder what he’d look like if he unbuttoned just a few more… You stopped yourself in that line of thinking and joined him on the couch.

“I think your phone’s gonna zap itself into an early grave with the way it’s been going off” Bucky said as he pointed to your phone on the table.

You picked it up to find you had several missed calls from your mother, one from Steve, and one very long text message from him that was already inducing a headache. You opened it, forgetting you had read receipts on. Oops. You weren’t going to read this now in front of Bucky, so you shut it off and put it aside.

“So how are you feelin’?” He asked.

“Better now that I’m out that damned dress. As for my family, they'll get over themselves. I don’t know why who I’m dating is such a big deal to them anyways.”

“You do look more comfy now that you’ve changed. If you don’t mind me sayin’ you’re just as gorgeous now as you were all dolled up”

You felt heat flood your cheeks instantly and eked out a thank you. You and Bucky talked for an hour more or so and in that time you’d found yourself nodding off with your head on his chest. On instinct he brought your whole body closer to him and put his arm around you. If you were less sleepy you’d be embarrassed but right now you didn’t care.

Bucky had moved slightly and inadvertently jolted you awake. You shot up and realized that you’d cuddled your way into Bucky’s side and now the embarrassment was catching up with you. You instantly scooted back to give him some space.

“Sorry, I uh, didn’t mean to cuddle you” You said while avoiding his gaze.

You felt a hand on your thigh and finally looked up to find him smirking at you.

“I didn’t mind it. It’s getting late though, I should get back.”

You were slightly disappointed but nodded your head. You rose and followed him to the door. He went for the handle but turned around when you grabbed his hand. He stepped away from the door and was in your personal space. You looked up at him with a shaky breath.

“Thank you, again, for what you did. It was really sweet of you.” He smiled down at you and brought one hand to your face. Oh God, I didn’t prepare for this. Your heart was beating just a little harder as you looked into his clear blue eyes.

“For you? Anytime. I had a really fun time with you tonight.”

“Me too.”

With that his other hand came up to cup your face and he kissed you sweetly. It wasn’t until you kissed him back that he pulled away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, I don’t wanna make you uncomf-”

You grabbed him by the shirt collar and brought him in for another kiss. This time more demanding but just as sweet. He let out a small moan and you swear you could’ve melted. His tongue explored your mouth while his hands moved their way down your body and brought you even closer to him. You could feel that he was hard and it only made you want him more.

Without breaking the kiss you started to move backwards towards the bed until finally you were just at the edge of it. You broke apart for air and searched his eyes only to find his pupils blown wide in lust. You cupped him through his pants and he groaned. He was big. Maybe even bigger than Steve.

“We don’t have to do anythin’ you don’t want to do,” He breathed out. You shook your head and kissed him again.

“I want you, I’m sure.” You panted out.

“I don’t have a condom”

“Doesn’ matter, I’m on the pill” You told him. With that his hands were up your tank top and you’d helped him to remove it. He worked on his shirt next and while he fumbled with the buttons you took off the rest of your clothing.

Bucky was every bit as devastating as you’d thought he’d be and you let out a genuine sigh. His toned muscles rippled throughout his arms and torso and you watched him remove his boxers and you’re not entirely sure your jaw hadn’t dropped. He noticed you gawking and chuckled as he leaned down to join you on the bed.

“See somethin’ you like?”

He didn’t give you the chance to answer though, he pushed you backwards onto the bed and kissed you again, this time trailing his kisses all the way down your body. He stopped and took his time to admire each of your breasts, licking and biting your nipples. You’d gasped in surprise and pleasure. He moved his way down finally to your pussy and looked up at you.

“Can I? You could only nod and let out a shaky breath as you sat up on your elbows and watched him get to work. He kissed and caressed your thighs until finally his fingers were prodding at your entrance. He groaned at how wet you were and pushed two fingers in. You let out an obscene moan and your hands went into his locks. His tongue lapped at your clit before he sucked on it, all the while pumping his fingers in and out of you in search of your G-spot.

You’d pulled his hair out of his bun and guided his tongue where he needed to be. Finally getting the right angle you were whimpering in pleasure, back arched almost to a point of pain. He’d finally found the spot he’d been looking for and your eyes shut closed in pleasure.

“Please,” you begged, “Please don’t stop I’m so close”

You pushed his head harder against you and his fingers sped up. It was only a matter of moments until your toes were curling in pleasure and you writhed on the bed in the aftershock of your orgasm. Bucky continued to lap away at you until you pushed him off. He came back up to eye level with you and had a wolfish grin.

“Who knew you’d make such noises? God it was so hot”

You pulled him in for another kiss and reached down to grab his cock. You pumped it a few times before you moved down to return the favor when he stopped you. You looked up at him with brows pinched in concern.

“Don’ worry about me, I just wanna feel you”

He moved you beneath him and you spread your legs apart for him. You were still sensitive in your post-high when his tip brushed your clit but you didn’t mind the bolt of pleasure. He aligned himself with your entrance and looked you in the eye as he pushed all the way inside of you slowly. You let out an involuntary moan, trying to accommodate his full length.

“You good?” He asked.

“I’m good, you’re just...big” He smirked at that.

“Can I move or do you need a second?”

“No, you can move, please move.”

One hand on your hip and the other on your breast he started thrusting in and out of you at a steady pace. You swore you could feel every bump and ridge of him with every inch he put into you. His pace picked up and he kissed the column of your neck, finding the one spot that drove you crazy. Your small mewls turned to full moans and he began fucking you harder.

“‘M not gonna last much longer” He told you. You didn’t say anything in response, just brought him in for another kiss and grabbed a handful of his ass to push him further inside you. He chuckled at that and took the hint.

He was going the hardest he had so far and you were holding on for dear life and loving every minute of it. His panting breaths were heavy in your ears and you reached down to toy with your clit so you’d cum together. His thrusts were getting a little sloppier and your hand moved faster, quickly approaching both your peaks. He let out an almost pornographic moan as he came, He fucked you through his orgasm and not a moment later you came for a second time. Your bodies melded together as you rode out the last waves of each other’s orgasms.

Finally Bucky stopped and held himself with one hand, trying to catch his breath. You were slightly dazed, trying to compute how your night had ended up like this. Bucky rolled over onto the bed and you felt the mess between your thighs. You looked over to him with a hazy smile.

“So, I know we’re doin’ things a little backwards here but, maybe I could take you out some time? If you want?”

Your smile grew even wider and your heart felt so light in this moment.

“I’d like that”

You didn’t know what tomorrow would hold or how to even begin cleaning up the mess with your family. You’d deal with it all in the morning, for now you’d just bask in the afterglow with your fake boyfriend and be grateful for chance meetings.

[jiminzfilter]

slow dancing in the night

→ Pairing. Taehyung x reader

→ Genre. established relationship, fluff, slice of life, model!taehyung, model!reader, taehyung missed you a lot, he is starving (his words not mine), gets a bit hot by the last 40 lines, mentions of oral (f) so I guess this counts as mature content, implied smut, making out (kinda), there is a bit of swearing

→ Summary. what could possibly be better than coming home after a long day of work to someone you love and missed a lot ?

→ Word count. 3.2k (!!!)

→ because I wrote this over a year ago when I still didn't know what I was doing with my writing, I had to go through a deep process of editing and re-writing before posting it. This might not be my best work but it's still a fic that I really really like :,)

→ song rec. slow dancing in the dark, Joji// still with you, Jungkook

Fridays have always been exhausting days for both you and your boyfriend, especially on runways weeks. As models, you were put under a lot of pressure.

Pressure to be perfect, to smile but never smile too much, to look good, to not fall on stage.

Falling has to be the most tragic thing that can happen to your carreer as a model, the hungry stares of thousands of photographers and reporters ready to share the latest news to the press.

Yeah, it was exhausting.

This week was no exception... or maybe it was since, this time, you were the only one working until late.

It’s four in the morning and you’re already on your way out - kind of running late, oBviOusLy - quietly wishing your boyfriend a good day.

He is not working today.

That lucky bastard.

He gets to enjoy his free day in bed, lazing around, while you work your ass off all day. He mumbles something that you assume is a sort of goodbye. He is still asleep.

You look at him one last time before leaving the room and smile. He looks so peaceful.

You still remember the day you met, by pure luck even though you both call that fate. That was 5 years ago, when you just debuted your career as a model and were not that comfortable around high heels.

Okay no. Let’s be real.

You hated wearing them because you couldn’t walk in heels higher than 5 cm.

It’s still a wonder how you managed to make it in the first place.

Were you wearing flat shoes for the audition ? Damn you really must’ve done an impression on the judges if they made you pass without the heels try-on.

Your first day at the agency was chaotic to say the least. Your manager made you walk around the building, to visit she said. She made you wear heels. HEELS. That devilish person.

But, thank to that, you got to meet Taehyung. Your eyes landed on him as you were visiting the lounge and couldn’t tear them away from his figure. The poor man had to witness you fall down because you weren’t watching your steps anymore.

I mean.

Who could blame you ??

That was Kim frEaking Taehyung

!!!

He even came to help you get back on your feet and asked if you were alright, kind of amused.

It’s not everyday you see someone falling down in here, let alone a newbie

Let’s be honest, you were so embarrassed.

First day of work and you’re already failing falling.

That night when you came home, you spent the night wearing heels and prayed really hard you’d never have to face him again. After all, the building was big enough and there were enough workers that you could avoid Taehyung easily

If only

The NeXt day, you were told that you had a couple shooting, with none other that Kim Taehyung.

GreaT

He would occasionally tease you about your fall and check on you to see if everything was alright. He watched you carefully as you were walking around with heels.

From up close he looked even more handsome.... :)

After this day, you started talking with Taehyung more and more. He introduced you to everyone around the agency. You met outside of work, got to know each other. You both became regally good friends but there was something lingering in the air, in the way you’d look at each other or stood so close to him after a couple glasses of wine that you could breathe his air.

So what was bound to happen happened and you went from friends a to lovers without really noticing it.

He was still your best friend...somehow

Eventually, you took things to the next level and moved in together... maybe a half and a year ago or so ? You’ve never been happier in your life

And, well, you’d actually be happier if you could spend the day with boyfriend instead of running around trying to find god knows which accessories you need for the rehearsal.

8 in the morning is noT a time to be doing cardio.

Especially while wearing heels

Become a model they said, it’ll be fun they said

“Y/n! Come here please I need you to try on this dress before you go!” Your personal stylist calls “I made sure to fix it yesterday so it’d be a perfect fit for the show”

You stop your tracks and go to her “make this quick i have to go get changed before 9 otherwise I’m screwed. Why did they even decide to do the rehearsals so early today ?” You sigh, frustrated, and put on the dress she’s handing you “thank you”

“Okayyy...it looks great. Gold looks amazing on you.” She smoothes the dress and gives an approving nod, visibly satisfied ; “You’ll look perfect for the Grand Finale. Oh god it’s already 8:30 you better go before Mr.Kim throws a fit because you’re late”

You both giggle ; “thank you for fixing the dress Naeun, see you later today. Well, probably tonight. Byeeee”

The rehearsal seems to never end. You’re squeezed in dozens of different outfits, gorgeous for sure but sO tight. Mr. Kim, the one who organised the runway, is such a perfectionist that you have to re-do some things multiple times before he’s satisfied. One time the lighting isn’t right, the other the models are walking too fast, not on beat and so on.

Everyone hates him for that but he always makes the best shows so you just follow.

After multiple tries, the rehearsal finally comes to an end. It’s already 4PM. You barely get time to breathe and go pee before you’re back into the ‘running-around-to-find-my-dress-and-fix-my-makeup-oh-god-i-gotta-be-on-stage’ crazy mess.

Walking on the runway feels amazing, running backstage is terrible.

It’s so hot and small back there you can hardly move around well.

It takes 2 hours for the whole fashion show to be over, one more for pictures outside the catwalk and chat with reporters. Since you’re kind of a famous model now, you get invited to the afterparty and spend few extra hours interacting with some celebrities that attended the show. Other models were invited and you’re happy to see familiar faces amongst them. Jimin, an old colleague and friend of yours, comes your way and compliments you. You chat with him for a while before deciding you’ve had enough for the day and leave the party. A few more people greet you on your way out.

A taxi takes you back to you company, where you left your stuff in the morning. You spend an extra thirty minutes getting rid of your heavy makeup and striping off that gorgeous but awfully tight golden dress you’ve been wearing ever since the end of the runway.

Now, you can FinaLLy go home. yassssss

It’s almost 12am when you leave the agency and climb into yet another taxi. The ride is quiet, background music playing over the car’s radio, and you take some time to look at what you were gifted for your performance : fancy makeup products, accessories, pieces of clothing-but not those from the runway, you sadly never get to keep those. Being kinda famous has its perks :,)

You then decide it’s time to warn Taehyung you’ll arrive soon and send him a few texts. As if he was waiting for them, he instantly replies saying he’ll be waiting for you and proceeds to spam you with heart emojis. Sometimes, it looks like this man just discovered what emojis were and is trying to use them as much as possible. What a child…

It’s way past midnight when you finally step into your duplex and the first thing you notice is that the place is way too quiet.

Maybe Tae went back to sleep, who knows, it’s super late after all…

:(

You remove shoes and jacket and drop your bags in the entrance before going further and you call out quietly “anyone here? Tae, you sleeping?”

There is a faint glow from the tv on your right but the sound has been muted.

Weird…

“Taehyung ?" You call one last time

Suddenly, two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist and you’re pulled into someone’s chest. You gasp, almost scream, but soften up when you feel the warmth on your back

“Hi baby” a deep voice says in your ear, sending chills down your spine “I missed you”

You turn around and are very pleased to see a handsome face and a warm exposed chest your boyfriend smiling at you.

“Mhm, missed you too” You wrap your arms around him and rest your head against his chest, happy to hear his heartbeat. Taehyung places his head atop of yours and gently strokes your hair. You tighten your grasp around him and hum.

Few seconds later, he lifts your chin up and gently lays a kiss on your lips.

“How are you doing?” He asks, his right hand cupping your cheek. The warmth of it is comforting.

“Exhausted, but you know how it goes” You shrug and he smiles

“Not too tired for dinner ? I could cook something if you want”

“Mhm... let me just go shower and put something else on” You sadly let go of him

“Sure, go ahead” he whispers and you give him a kiss before regretfully tearing yourself away from him.

You walk up the stairs to your bedroom, where you find the bed undone. You smile, Taehyung never really liked making the bed and, very honestly, neither did you. You slump onto the mattress and bury your face into the pillows, inhaling his scent. Lavender. Relaxing. Just like he is.

After a warm shower, you find a t-shirt Taehyung left on a chair in the room and wear it. It’s big enough to reach your thighs and, if you were more energised, you’d probably stay like this. You grab large pants and put them on.

Once again, you smell lavender all around you.

When you’re back in the living area, you see Taehyung busying himself in the kitchen. He hears your steps and his eyes find yours as a smile appears on his face when he notices that you’re wearing his shirt

“My shirt looks better on you than it’d ever do on me” He teases, his gaze longing on your frame.

“maybe I should keep it then” you smile and ask ; ”Do you need any help?”

“no no no no no, you’ve worked enough already. Go and have some rest. I'll call you when everything’s ready okay?”

Too tired to argue on this anyways -and thankful for the given rest-, you go lay down on the couch, your body oriented to let you look at Taehyung.

As he hums and moves to the chill music that was playing in the background, you start to detail his beautiful figure. From the curl of his dark hair (which you knoW are so so soft to the touch) to his beautiful profile and his nose you love so much down to his broad shoulder and then his tanned abs you see from time to time when the opened shirt of his pyjama moves according to his steps.

oH! Let’s not forget his perfect hands gripping at the pan’s handle while he cooks… vegetables? Something like that yeah.

Taehyung is giving his best into what he’s cooking. Vegetables with rice, that’s the only thing he could do quickly.

Quickly as in less than half an hour, unlike his friend Namjoon who’d take this time just to cook the rice.

The music he put earlier is slowly starting to bore him. After washing his hands, he reaches out for his phone and plays a different playlist. It’s one you name yourself when the two of you were still friends (aka not dating yet). “Taetae fm” because you once joked he should have his own broadcasting channel on the radio. He’d always criticise the music playing so why not have his own channel 👀

“You know Y/n, I actually watched the fashion show live this afternoon. I mean, of course you know because I always do that haha. Anyways, you really were the highlight of the runway tonight. And I’m not saying this in a biased point of view. Okay I might be a bit biased as your boyfriend but I swear that it’s true!! You literally shone back there, especially in that gold dress you were wearing and even the audience was impressed by your looks maybe you didn’t see it on stage but some cameras filmed their reactions and everyone was looking at you. Really, you were so gorge-oh” Taehyung looks at you and smile fondly “Of course you’re asleep, baby”

He lets his phone aside and checks the now cooked food before making his way to the couch. There’s a blanket on the sofa, he covers you with it, scared you might get cold. Taehyung put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and places a kiss on your chin.

You slowly open your eyes and find yourself face to face with him. You both smile.

“Hi there beautiful” He whispers

“what time is it? Did I sleep until the morning?” You’re scared of having slept through the entire nap without realising

“almost 1:20am, I just finished cooking. I thought you might be cold so I went to cover you with the blanket. You should go enjoy the food while it’s still hot, imma go to the toilet”

You nod as an answer and watch him leave upstairs. Getting up from the warmth of the couch is the hardest part so you keep the soft blanket draped around your shoulders and walk towards the kitchen. You grab two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks that you place on the counter along with glasses and a bottle of water.

You then go take care of the rice and the vegetables, which you mix in the pan. The song playing changes and your favourite nighttime tune starts.

“I don’t want a friend, I want my life in two” you sing along

“Waiting to get there, waiting for you” Taehyung’s voice startles you as he grabs your wrists and pulls your back close to him. You smile as he makes the both of you dance slowly. You put his arms around you so it’s like he’s hugging you from the back. You swing around for a little while, enjoying the close proximity as you both softly hum the song, making your body vibrate against each other, moving in perfect coordination.

“I love you” he whispers in your ear and then kisses it, sending chills down your spine, before lifting one of your arm up to make you turn so that you’re now facing him “did my baby sleep well?” You nod as you place your arms around his waist, paying attention to go under the shirt so you’re touching as much skin as possible.

Taehyung chuckles before asking you in that same, chill-sending, low deep voice ; “Still hungry? Because I’m starving”

If you didn’t just wake up, you would’ve definitely caught that lust in his eyes and also the fact that this wasn’t as innocent as it seemed.

As an answer, your stomach growls pretty loudly, making Taehyung laugh . “I’ll take that as a yes. Sit down, princess. Let me take care of you”

You do as he says, jumping on a stool, detailing all of his moves. You only realise how hungry you actually were when you start eating. Rice with vegetables has never tastes better. You eat everything in less than 5 minutes when you’d usually take your time to finish your plate.

“Damn, that was a well needed dinner! Thank you Tae” you mess a bit with his soft locks

“Imagine me who was waiting for you all evening!! I was hungry too” He pouts.

“Oh come on, I was working today. Cardio in heels isn’t the best way to wake up, let alone spend the whole day standing in tight clothes. When I think you has a day off… pfff. I saw the bed, I’m sure you stayed there all day, you lazyyyyyyyyy ass.”

He mumbles some gibberish and you giggle, knowing that you're right. He looks away, crossing his arms and obviously sulking. You leave your stool and stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You leave a few kisses on his cheek and neck

“- Don’t be such a babyy. You know I love you.

- You do?

- of course, you dummy” you bop his nose "Sooo, what do we have for desert?

- You. Uh I mean!! Yoghurt, fruits, cakes, fruits…anything” he clears his throat

“Great! What do you prefer?” You open the fridge

“ I’d very happily eat you out honestly but an apple sounds good”

“Oh sur- wait whaT!?” You snap your head to him, eyes wide open

what did he sayyyyyyyy?????

whaT am I even supposed to say noW oh my goddddd

You close the fridge’s door, suddenly not so yogurt-hungry.

There’s a sudden silence between the two of you, only disturbed by the music still playing in the background.

“Mhm? What is it?” He turns around to face you, asking so innocently “did I say something wrong ?”

This man knows what he is doing for sure. Has he ever been that straightforward before ?

Taehyung stands and closes the distance between your bodies, now towering over you.

He lowers himself slightly to speak in your ear “what is it baby? Mhm?” You feel his smile on your cheek when he lays a kiss on it “what happened to my all proud and fierce y/n who was so confident telling me I was being lazy all day, huh? Tell me” He lays another kiss on your temple

OkaY

now he’s being a tease

Great

1 A.M. fluffy and bare chested teaser Taehyung

gReAT

Anyhow, it’s a good turn on.

Really.good.freaking.turn.on

Being tired and turned on was definitely not a good mix for you. You could feel the heat rising in your body and hear your heart pounding in your ears.

“Tae…”

He laughs gently seeing you silently begging for more, brushing your face with his lips, teasing another kiss.

“Tsk tsk, you gotta speak darling, I cannot guess”

You should calm down and go to sleep, it’s 1am and you have work tomorrow you should definitely-

“Fuck-“ You sigh and grab his face, sealing your lips together while closing your eyes.

It doesn’t take long for that kiss to turn into a heated make out session.

You grab and pull some of his dark curls while his hands travels under his your shirt.

You break the kiss just a second to catch your breath.

“Have i ever told you you have the perfect body?” Taehyung asks

“Did I ever tell you how perfect you are??” You reply

He laughs, deep raspy laugh.

You’re too tired for this

And because you’re tired, you’re even more horny :D

Taehyung puts his hands behind your thighs and you jump, locking your legs around his waist, hands still in his hair, lips against his while carries you to the bedroom.

He leaves your lips to travel down your jaw and then collarbone. You throw your head back.

Taehyung gently lays you on the mattress of your king sized bed and makes it his personal mission to pleasure you tonight.

[scaramoucheslove]

Oo hello!! I discovered your Albedo fic while on my scroll, and sheeesh 😫😫 made me feel things,,,,, but I digress, could I request how Xiao or Albedo would deal with a bratty sub?

And,, if I may,, could I be 🏵 anon? ;0

A/N: Hi, Love! Tysm for your support <33 I actually thought no one liked or even read the Albedo smut lolol. Also yes ofcc!! Hello my first anon :D also I’m gonna make this as a HC/drabble thingy hehe

also I’m so sorry if it’s shitty aaa 

How they would deal with a bratty sub (HCs)

(Xiao, Albedo)

What to expect: Rough shit, Petnames, Dacryphilia, Overstimulation, Degradation, Dumbification, facefucking, Exhibition kink pls tell me if I miss anything ^^

Smut beneath the cut

XIAO

·         Really easy to get on his nerves tbh.

·         Would definitely not tolerate your behaviour. Especially if you’ve been good.

·         “Stop. Behave.”

·         His punishments would lowkey highkey hurt </3

·         He’ll give you the rough treatment, choking, marking, overstim, you name it. Maybe even toys??

·         D E G R A D A T I O N <33 you will be hearing no praise from this man.

·         Humiliation too omgomgomg

·         DUMBIFICATIONNN AA

·         Will most likely use the name “Pet” “Doll” “Bitch” “Slut” “Whore” etc

·         And you’ll have to call him master in bed, but today we’re going to pretend that you just didn’t feel like it.

·         “Tsk, seems like my pet is misbehaving again”

·         I feel like he wouldn’t like physical roughness as much, since he’s not much of a sadist. But if he felt the need to remind you of what your position was, then he’d probably only go as far as spanking.

·         If you cry, he’ll humiliate you for it

·         “Are you crying? Where’s your act now, brat? Continue counting.”

·         Deep down, he loves lives to see you cry.

·         He’d continue to overstimulate you with his mouth, fingers, and dick until you were begging, crying, screaming, thrashing.

·         He’d mark almost every part of your body

·         He WILL choke you and bite your neck as he’s pushing himself inside of you.

·         Mans has no patience, will go ALL out on you. Who cares if his hands and tongue were too much anyways? You were the one who wanted to act like a brat.

·         “If you don’t keep that little mouth shut, I’m going to stuff your slutty mouth with my dick you whore.”

·         And if you keep pushing his buttons? He would.

·         Completely facefuck you until you’re all fucked out, crying and out of breath.

·         He loves to see himself in your throat.

·         The type to hold your nose while he shoves his dick down your throat  <3

·         Not the best at aftercare, but he still tries his best.

·         Will apologize to you even if it’s half assed, gets you cleaned up, and brews you a nice cup of tea.

·         You probably drifted off to sleep already once he brought you tea.

·         Will smile and hold you close and even though he doesn’t sleep, he would still just lie on the bed and appreciate every moment with you.

                                             “Xia- Master- ah- please” you didn’t even know what you were begging for now. For him to stop? For more? You didn’t know. What you do know is you’ve been begging for over an hour now, your voice was hoarse and tired after all your screaming. Your eyes were watery and begging for forgiveness. But alas, it went from one ear to another. The room sounded so sinful. The two of your sweaty bodies collided, your arms clinging onto his neck as he continues to pound into you. Faster. And harder. “Stop. Fucking. Shouting.” He said while he thrusts in every word. Annoyance clear in his voice. “Shut up and take it, will you?” He said before moving his arms from your hips to your neck and applying pressure. “Dumb little sluts like you don’t even deserve anything from the likes of me.” Seeing your drooled up face, he couldn’t help but say “Look at you all drooled up, doll. You look so stupid like this. Who else can fuck you stupid like I do?” “O-only you mas-ter” you managed to say. He smiled momentarily before his other hand reaches your clit to rub it as your mouth fell open. Fighting the urge to call you his good girl.

 ALBEDO

·         I’M IN MY ALBEDO FEELS PLSS

·         He’d just be like 🤨🤨.

·         Usually completely unaware and uninterested so he’d continue to do his work.

·         You have to be a real brat to really test his limits.

·         I think he wont be rough intentionally. He’s just rough without realizing he is. Even on your daily sex life.

·         OKOK NOW if you DO manage to break him somehow, here’s some of the punishments he’ll prolly do.

·         Humiliation.… degradation… bc chile… he ain’t much of a talker but SHEESH if he dirty talks it’s over. Oh but he won’t go too far. I hope..

·         He also sometimes uses you to help with his experiments.

·         Spanks, chokes, slaps, and other physical things but not too roughly, just for “research purposes.” And sometimes for punishments too if you ever got too out of hand.

·         Loves to see you tied up tbh <33 really likes to see you all helpless.

·         Gags on occasions (if he’s working on an experiment or punishment and he’s not in the mood to hear you moan or make a noise or anything)

·         Dumbification?? without him realizing it?>@>@*&^$^$% 

·         Petnames <33 plspls i beg u call him sir or master bc that’s such an ego boost for him. I mean you don’t have to but like,, why wouldn’t you.

·         Also loves the thrilling feeling of someone catching you two.

·         Toys,, sometimes.

·         Imagine being a brat in your daily life and one day he just snaps.

·         As he was doing his work, you, being the brat you are continued to test his limit. From asking him dumb questions to “accidentally” smashing/destroying his experiments.

·         He just sighed, cleared his table and said,

·         “Y/N. Come here.”

·         You would be so shocked that you froze in your spot.

·         He never really paid attention to your actions, just casually answering your questions from time to time.

·         “I said, come here.”

·         His voice was stern, but calm.

·         “Don’t make me come over there myself.”

·         You, along with your shaking legs, were slowly making your way towards him.

·         “Sit on my lap.”

·         You did as you were told. Hell you were too scared to do anything he didn’t say you could.

·         “Say, did you know the things you broke?”

·         You just shooked your head as your legs kept shaking.

·         “Since you don’t know how to keep your hands to yourself, I’m gonna force you to keep it to yourself, brat.”

·         OOP I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE IT AS A HC LMAOO IDK I’LL CONTINUE IN THE DRABBLE LMAO

.         Anyways probably kinda good with aftercare.

.         Will apologize if he’s too rough and shower you with attention. If you’re lucky enough, he’ll skip his work that day and the day after to spend a day or two to make it up to you.

                                       Albedo continues his ministrations on you. “Master- fuck slow down” you panted. Your hands tied above your head. you were sprawled on his table as Albedo continues to insert 2 fingers inside and out of you. “Oh? Were you not searching for my attention then dear?” He inserted another finger as you whimpered. “You were the one who happened to mess with my experiments, after all.” “But I-“ you didn’t manage to say anything else before he has his tongue on your clit. He had kept your legs open with a tool so you had no power against him. “Albedoo~” You whine once more which caused his other gloved hand to slap your clit. You flinched a bit, but fuck that felt good. He stopped moving his hands and said “You better be quiet before I gag that mouth of yours.” He continued to thrust three fingers in and out of you again as you rolled your eyes back and moaned. “Fuck, you look so dumb, doll. You look so pretty like this.” You heard the door knock and you immediately looked at Albedo while shaking your head. “Come in” you heard him say. A man went inside the room and stood still with some files in his hands and clearly distracted on whatever was on the paper. “Sir, we have a prob-“ Once he saw what was going on, he looked a bit terrified. “Continue. What is the problem?” Albedo asked calmly as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. They continued to talk about some things you couldn’t register because you were slowly losing your mind little by little, although the man did sound a bit flustered. By the time they were finished, Albedo just said his thanks and told him to close the door. His mouth latched onto your clit once again surprisingly fast and your mouth fell open. You were sure drool was everywhere. “I’m going to keep going until you’re all brainless and unconscious. But before I do-“ just as about you were about to reach your high, he pulled out his fingers and gave you a look. You whined at the lost of contact. “You better be ready, my love.” That was all he needed to say before you realized, you were in for one hell of a ride.

STOP OMFG I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE ALBEDO’S LONG I HAVENT EVEN FINISHED THE CHILDE SMUT I’M WORKING ON

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Control feat Floch Forster

"Well since some writers claim that Floch would be rough in bed then how about smut Floch with a fem soft s/o, she’s not exactly a tease person, she’s just incredibly shy, needy and sensitive who gets embarrassed easily. I’m really curious if Floch would be rough or gentle with her if his s/o is soft and shy but when she’s naked, she gets embarrassed and cover herself"

Author note : Gotta admit I’m a little bit curious too, I mean the big boi got a huge switch energy. Like I can’t totally picture him being a 100%DOM or a 100%SUB maybe it’s just me but I feel like he is a switch a big one. I wrote a headcanon + a tiny scenario.

As usual I apologize for taking so long I hope you’ll enjoy it ♡

Also I don’t know what to do with my life anymore lol was it nasty enough ? Was it good ? I need to write more caliente headcanon I’m still insecure about it lol

Warning : NSFW / SMUT / Mention of spoil from season 4

SMUT : mention of spanking, mention of spitting, mention of rough sex, a little bit of hair pulling nothing bad

Masterlist

Sex with Floch is difficult, there’s nothing wrong with neither of you.

Since his return with Shinganshima, he kinda lost a part of him. He was never the tender one but this event surely broke what was left of his kindness.

It doesn’t mean he would act violently toward you, but he became easily frustrated and not in the good way. Meaning sometimes he will get angry easily, he tends to be violent each time someone doesn’t agree with him. He became a monster but he hasn't known that yet.

Now, he was really in love with you and knowing your personality he couldn’t really be too rough on you.

A part of him really enjoy being rough on you, knowing he was corruption you a little bit more each time he was thrusting into you. It fascinated him the way you would bend at each of his command, opening your mouth when it told you so, screaming begging when he gave you an order. Instead of being rough for the thrill of it, he was rough on you because he loves seeing you getting all red from pleasure not being able to talk because he was fucking you dumb.

Since back in Shinganshima he couldn’t control anything, he would be in control now especially in his sex life and since you were just co compliant with him. He couldn’t just leave this opportunity.

The fact that you were so shy around him even though you’ve been naked in front of him a lot of times never felt to tease him to be a little more rougher on you. Your personality just triggers his « dark instinct »

Now, we must not forget that in the beginning Floch was and would remain a switch, which mean sometimes he needs to feel you taking care of him. To put it simple Shinganshima broke him, and since no one tries to bring him back, he works on his own to not just fall apart.

Some times he needs comfort, some times he needs to be in control. Especially for sex, during a period, when he felt especially « weak » or at least fragile, he would put extra roughness on you meaning he’ll tend to bend you over a desk or anything for that matter as long as he can bend you over, moving your ass up spreading your legs widely so he could get a nice view of your ass and leg.

He might even went as far as to took a bunch of your hair and pull it so you would scream at the pain, and while your mouth would be widely open he won’t hesitate and spit into your mouth.

He also tends to put extra slapping at your ass just because he feels like it

You’re lucky that he is hitting all the good spot, cause the man is too lost on his own pleasure to even notice that well he is particularly rough. But don’t worry, you two got safe word just in case he is too lost on his feeling.

Or, when he feels cocky or just because he is tired from his works. Floch would just lay down on his bed, hands behind his head as you’re looking at him expecting to be taken by him. Then he will just narrow one of his brown eye and say « what ? You’re expecting me to take care of you ? Naah it’s not how it’s work (scuse me sir aren’t you the one who broke me last night ???) you want me y/n then take that cock cause I won’t put a single finger for you ».

But when he feels lonely or sad, or just because you feel like you needed to put him at his place. Spank him, edge him, overstimulate him, make him beg for release and that fucker would even cum harder than usual (little bastard). There’s one thing he might be against, it’s pegging, like a finger or a two why not but a whole toy in his butt ? You’ll need to be a little more convincing for this one (read : fuck him dumbs until he can’t even remember his name and he won’t even whine)

But to do that you’ll need to be extra confident with that, cause even though he is a switch don’t forget that he is most and foremost a jerk, so basically he won’t let you have his way with you easily especially if you tend to be super shy.

If you think that fucker won’t tease the hell out of you for being cocky ? You don’t know Floch.

« Well well what do we have here ??? And here I thought you were innocent Y/N »

« S-Shut up Floch »

« Make me. »

Damn brat *cough cough*

Anyway, if during foreplay or even in the « it » of the moment you felt insecure or sad, use your safe word, Floch isn’t really good at reading people and he might think you were acting extra shy as usual while in fact you were feeling bad over something. Then proceed to explain to him what’s wrong.

He is the stupid worshipper. Always like « Huh ? You think you’re ugly ? Are you stupid ? Of course you’re hot look at you ? I thought you were smarter than y/n » damn buddy it hurts coming from you. Also the dirty worshipper.

« Such a nasty hole you are y/n look at it all clutching around nothing waiting for me to fill it entirely. Fuck you’re wonderful y/n »

« Mamama look at those legs they were made to be wrapped around my hips »

« Damn it y/n you sure know how to suck a cock »

« Look at you taking my cock so well, I swear your swallow me without a blink of an eye what a good slut you are y/n »

Yeah that’s his praise

I’m sorry

He’s doing his best

So yeah he might be a switch if you’re too shy to dom him, well all he has to do his to take the leas right ?

Now if we’re focusing about your first time not just with him, like if you’re a virgin that would be another story.

A part of him want to be extra rough on you like he will corrupt you, you know ? Not really a kink of him but the thought of it got his dick hard as rock so safe to say that he is not against the idea of fucking you dumb.

But as the thought was starting to drive him crazy he realized that for a first time, knowing your personality being quite shy and embarrassed easily he might not be the best idea to just jump into you. Maybe taking your time together would be for the best, so both of you would learn about each other’s body, sweet spot, what to do or not do.

He won’t be too vanilla because that’s not how he is especially now that he joined the yeagarist, in fact his return from Shinganshima changed him into a cold man, mentally instable but somehow strong when it came to follow his belief, but still as I stated before he always needed control but also need a way to get out of his nightmare. So being rough with you in bed sound like a perfect way to escape his reality, of course it’s not healthier way but it’s work so he won’t complain.

Now that being said, even if it won’t be your first time together I can’t see him forcing you into things that make you uncomfortable. He is a dick, but he cares about you. He might try to convince you to at least give it a shot, especially if he felt that the reason that you’re refusing it’s just you being shy (even if he told in his own way that there no need to be shy round him). But he felt that something scares you, he won’t force you and won’t even bring it again.

I don’t feel like he is into gun play/ arm play for that matter, not into blood play either. He is surrounded by blood and weapons all the time, sex with you is supposed to be a safe place where he can escape his old demons so no gun for the baby.

In conclusion, the fact that you are shy angel won’t stop him for being you so it’s up to you to tell him what’s good for you or not.

I know for a shy person it’s difficult to talk about the sensitive subject but remember that communication is a key, he might be a dick and sometimes you’d feel like you can’t talk to him like he is an ass (he is but hey you love him) like he didn’t care about your opinion but that’s not true, you are important and probably the only thing that matter to him (aside from saving paradise but you includes so) so don’t be afraid.

Tiny scenario because it took me forever to post it as a compensation :

« Fuck yeah you feel amazing y/n »

For some reason today Floch was particularly generous with you, not that usually he is not. But today he felt like spoiling you. At first it started with multiple hot make-out session everytime you two were alone. Pushing you against the near wall or holding you against his firm chest, it’s like his lips couldn’t leave yours for like one minute. One of his hand was behind your neck keeping your head firmly against him as the other left for your ass to grab it. Your body was caught between his body and the wall, so all you could do was putting your arm around his neck and just enjoy his warmth as he was greedily kissing you. After all, you hadn’t got the chance to see your boyfriend for a while, to be exact after your mission in Mahr and the capture of Eren you barely caught a moment together to share a kiss. He claimed that there was nothing against you and that he was just very busy since the situation between Mahr and Paradis was still tight.

So, his little greediness was welcomed, you couldn’t help but starting to feel touch starved. You were missing him to the point that you started to wear some of his coat just to be able to catch some of his warmth. Of course you didn’t say anything about it, knowing your boyfriend you wouldn’t see the end of it. After kissing you for like the tenth time, Floch finally moved a little to be able to see you from your entirety. Lips swollen slightly open as you were taking your breath since he barley left you time to take a breath, hair a little messy for the way he was grabbing it firmly, cheeks all pink (probably because you were both embarrassed and turned on by his action). It was definitely a view that was worth it. Since his return from Mahr, Floch hasn't had time much to his dismay to mange some quality time with you, hell he couldn’t even remember the last you two has gone on a date together. Knowing the situation, and what was about to happen with the yeagarist he won’t be able to take you on a date before a long time. So he felt like he needed to take every occasion to have his way with you, kissing you, stroking your body, feeling you against him cause who knows when he’ll be able to have you close to him again ? He was starting to feel angry and eager;

Alongside, let’s be honest the yeagarist didn’t do anything to help him. All the time, he could hear them whining about some soldier who apparently wasn’t on their side, or about the fact that yeah some of them have spent a couple of days in jail. They were starting to get on his nerve, most of them were just spoiled brat who never went into hell and here they have the guts to complain about their condition ? What a shame. He started to feel his shoulder getting heavy. His muscles too were sore, his patience was slowly disappearing worst, he started to have nightmares again. It all started because he wasn’t with you, because he barely spent time with you. He needed you. He needed you right now.

« Floch a-are you okay ? Y-You keep staring at me »

« Do I ? Sorry you just looked amazing all fucked up because of him »

« I-I’m not fucked up »

« Yet. »

A race and a couple of clothes on the floor later, here you were bending over his bed. Face down with a hand firmly against your neck, ass up all good for Floch as he was grinding against you as if it would be the last time that you two would have sex. You were used to Floch being rough against you and to be honest you didn’t mind it since he was hitting all the good spot, and the way he is grunting each time you were clutching against him was music to his hear. Also the dirty talk didn’t help. But today was different, for some reason the foreplay lasts longer than usual, you noticed that Floch took extra time kissing each inch of your body, stroking everything that he might forget. He also ate you out longer than usual putting extra time to make you cum multiple time before he could even put the head of his dick in you. You didn’t mind though, it was good to be spoiled by Floch without even begging for it.

« I could spend my life between your leg y/n but now it’s time for the real fun, come on I want you on four for me. Spread those gorgeous legs of yours for me cause I can’t spend any minute without being in you »

As he was thrusting into you senseless, you felt that he was slowing down but still keeping a firm rhythm against you. Then you felt your body moving, so you could be face to him, he moved his own body too bringing your ankle around his head as your legs were now on his shoulder. The light coming from the windows highlight his toned chest and his arm muscles, his hair were a mess from all the time he put them in place. Even after getting intimate with him multiple times, getting naked in front of him was still something that embarrassed you. He knew that. So it was no surprise for you that you hear him chuckled at your state before slowing down putting your knee at your chest, so he could kiss you again for like the hundred time.

« You felt like heaven babe I’m not kidding I can die now it would be perfect. So tight and warm for me »

And then as if nothing happened, he roughly starts to thrust into you. Floch’s head was now in the crook of your neck as he was breathing heavily, your hand were now on his hair grabbing it each time he was hiding your sweet spot. His movement were kinda slow though as he was taking time to thrust deeply into you reaching whenever spot he was looking for, you swore you could feel his head on your stomach or maybe it was just you losing your mind. It didn’t help that you suddenly felt his hand between your leg touching you, stroking you, teasing you so you would approach your climax quicker than him. No doubt that Floch planned to either edge you or overstimulate you, knowing how he spoils you before, he might overstimulate you until you would be nothing but a mess.

How long would you last before loosing your mind ? That’s what Floch was about to know.