#beefleaf and hualien

[sunfiltersthroughwillowleaves]

had a tgcf and svsss crossover idea

ok so xie lian and hua cheng find this book (or whatever a book is in that universe) by an author named "airplane". wtf is an airplane anyways? so they start reading and its about a world a gajillion years in the future where there's paper that's made out of metal and it can change its image on will? and metal birds that carry people like swords except they're called airplanes and they're designed for the usage of many people at once??? why would the author name himself after that? chunks of metal with wheels that don't need horses???

"why dont they use cultivation" you ask, because there is none! so weird, right? anyways, they keep reading and there's so much stuff they call technology that's basically just magic. it's about an overpressured author who eats food that only needs water to be edible and sends his writing over an invisible spiderweb that covers the entire world. tbh, the author did a really bad job explaining all the "tech". overall a really stupid idea for a novel. xie lian honestly sorta likes it, but it's just wierd. the most odd part? these things keep coming out regularly. they're ridiculously long, and unlike other works from the same author, there's no sex scenes.

xie lian kinda likes it, and reads it every now and then cuddled up with hua cheng. hua cheng loves being next to xie lian, who giggles occasionally while reading, but hates the novel. somehow, shi qingxuan finds it, and shows it to ming yi, (shush leave me with my beefleaf) ming yi claims he doesn't like it but reads shi qingxuan's copy of that day's update every night. knows literally every detail, understands teh worldbuilding the best of anyone. feng xin and mu qing don't bother to read it, but they know a little about it.

one day, the next update is about someone who does something called a comment on his work. apparently, they do it a lot. and the character’s name is cucumber. who would name a character cucumber!? this author is weird. anyways the cucumber does a comment about a bunch of mean stuff critiquing the work and stuff. there are more than 3 pages of just mean commentings. the next page is about his metal paper. apparentlu, the metal paper can’t touch water, or else it poisons the water??? this makes no sense. not even ming yi can explain how it works. and then the main character touches the poison water? what a dumb character, remarks hua cheng.

main character wakes up in a cultivation world. apparentlhy main character was writing a story about this world? how dumb. hualien and beefleaf are crossing a road while reading this when a reckless cart driver is about to crash into them. hua cheng, obviously, obliterated the cart and its driver. problem solved! 

later that evening, when the four fall asleep, they don’t awaken (in those bodies, anyways). fengqing finds them, starts yelling their heads off, eventually brings their comatose bodies to ling wen, who shrugs and puts them in a drawer. 

meanwhile, hualien and beefleaf are reeling. they didn't get transferred into different bodies, but they are at a hospital. someone who looks vaguely like ling wen tells them that they were found half-dead under the seats of a funeral of some guy named shen jiu. weird. the nurse tries to charge them but, upon finding the only currency they have is merits, groans and lets them leave.  hua cheng rolls dice. nothing happens. 

xie lian asks where hua cheng’s butterflies are. hua cheng shrugs, but seems visibly on-edge. none of them are able to do cultivation when they try. people are looking at them weird. who the hell does cosplay in the middle of the street? some guy compliments xie lian and hua cheng on their tgcf cosplay. none of the four understand any of those words. someone asks to take a picture of them. take a picture? she pulls out a chunk of metal, holds it in front of their faces, presses next to them. oh, is it a mirror? but she clicks a white circle at the right of the rectangilar mirror, and it flashes bright white. hua cheng begins threatening her for daring to harm xie lian’s eyes, but xie lian apologetically gets him to back off.

the woman apologises and asks if they’re new to the area. shi qingxuan says yes, and she offers the four a place to stay. ming yi holds up his shovel, arguing that he could just dig a hole in the ground and sleep there. he has to be reminded that cultivation doesn’t work here.

back in the danmei world, airplane is no longer making money from his latest series, “an author without cultivation”! there were a few people buying it, but not anymore. they also tended to overpay wildly. airplane somehow pieces it together; (idk) ohhh they transferred to the human world. he convinces the system to let him and cucumber return to their world, but lbh protests. “where are you going shizun shizun dont leave me let me come with you shizun shizun come onnnnn shizunnnnnn” eventually they let him come too. mobei jun is ok with it as long as shang qinghua returns eventually. they transfer back to the human world, where cucumber finds himself in a coffin, at his own funeral. everyone is shocked when shen yuan sits up in his original body. people scream and shout and everyone is very happy, but cucumber barely remembers any of them. it’s been, like, twenty years. he can hardly remember his parents’ names. he smiles, laughs a little, rpetrends to know everyone, and then lbh arrives. through the window. pulls out an enormous sword. people then start screaming, because omg shen yuan’s enormous murder boyfriend is here. his parents scold him a little “why didn't you tell us you got a murder boyfriend” before getting yeeted into a wall. mmkay that’s happening now. luo bignhe and shen qingqiu spend their first day in the modern world in jail.

shang qinghua pays for their bail. apparently, they all arrived back to the modern world a day after sqq’s death, and a day before sqh’s. time travel? they don’t even know at this point. they manage to track down the other four by following a police report on a man in a red tunic and butterfly jewelry threatening a poor tgcf fan, witnesses report. (the woman wasnt even the one who ratted them out, it was the ugy who complimented them on their cosplays haha.) sqq and sqh share a look. that sounds like hua cheng, from tian guan ci fu! isn’t that a really popular danmei? lbh is just sitting next to them like a lost puppy, following them around, reminding shizun that he can tear anyone who dares question his authority to pieces. anyways they find the four. their conversation kinda goes like this.

sqq: hey are you xie lian?

hua cheng: who are you (the four are very concerned as they have never seen metal birds that make loud noises before)

lbh: how dare you threaten my husband

sqq and xie lian: binghe/san lang, calm down

sqq and xie lian make uncomfortable eye contact. woah. that guy also has an overprotective but lovable husband. neat. homosexuality.

xie lian:  yeah im xie lian, this is san lang, ming yi, and shi qingxuan

sqh: *looks at the other, nods* mmkay and are you familiar with the undiscovered gem of a series called “an author without cultivation”?

hua cheng and ming yi roll their eyes, the other two nod

sqx: yeah, what about it?

sqh: yeah, i’m the author! *waits for applause that never comes*

ming yi: so you know why we’re here?

sqq: well did you read it and hate it or somehting?

*lbh is still glaring at hua cheng. hua cheng is still glaring at lbh*

hua cheng: it was very easy to hate

sqh: *sqq laughs* shut up cucumber

ming yi: *snaps to attention* that was the name of one of your characters! peerless cucumber.

sqq: *laughing, elbows sqh* guess someone doesn’t hate it so much after all

*ming yi smacks him on the head with a shovel. lbh smacks ming yi on the head with his fist. they both pass out.*

sqx, catching ming yi: sorry about him, he can be a bit… (doesn’t finish)

sqh: yeah, no problem. my husband’s the same.

hua cheng: what?

sqh: *completely ignores him and moves on* okay so here’s what’s happening; i come from this world. i teleported to your world to do things accidentally after i died. then i stayed in your world and got a husband and started writing again and stuff.

xie lian: what things? and also you havent told us what you mena by we’re all gay. also why are giant metal birds your namesake?

sqh, swallowing: this is gonna take a while

they explain to the tgcf crew and stuff, and they end up grabbing an apartment. turns out, none of them know how to transfer htemselves back. also, they all appear to be human now. they appear the same, they’re all just human. sqh gets them a flat, and they all sleep on the floor.

ok i might update this later but who knows haha

[oneweirdbean]

We need a fic where after Shi Qingxuan gets cast out of the Heavenly Courts, he dies from the injuries and becomes a ghost - his reason for existing? Trying to make it up to He Xuan for what happened to him, but they end up being together and happy in their ghost "lives"

[skylark325]

Happy pride to Wangxian, Hualien, Ranwan, Fengqing, Beefleaf and whatever Joongdok got going on 🏳️‍🌈