#become good and suddenly their 'natural beauty' comes out you all will see me on the news

[lestink]

is it just me or do the women who start off as villains lose their lipstick/makeup

[sweetiecutie]

Pairing: König x fem! Reader

Warnings: NSFW, mdni, periods sex, blood play but not really(?), softie König

A/n: very self-indulgent. My periods are as tough as ever and there’s no one to comfort me, so I guess I’ll have to do it myself🥲

König didn’t really know much about periods. Well, of course he knew what menstruation is and that every woman has it once a month, but that was pretty much it. So when you started dating poor guy saw how things really were in female world.

He noticed how moody you would become a week prior your periods, how snappy you’d react to his harmless teasing. König noted your craving for sweets as well, and how angry and sad you’d be over a few pimples that appeared so unwelcomed on your precious face. And König felt truly sorry for you - it was clear as day that you were a hormonal mess, and there wasn’t anything he could do to help you, no matter how much he wanted to.

And then your periods finally came. König watched you get up suddenly from your spot on the couch, rushing straight to the bathroom. He was a bit confused - you were all snuggled up together, watching a movie you picked - did something happen? He knocked on the bathroom door softly, asking if everything was good - a few moments later you opened the door, sour expression on your face as you scrunch up the wrap from the pad. “Yeah, my periods started” you mumbled begrudgingly, your lips pulled in a small pout.

König who just couldn’t bear seeing his precious baby in pain, did everything in his power to comfort you. He wrapped his warm strong arms around your frail form, cuddling you into his chest. His fingers grazed gently the soft skin of your tummy where it ached, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, scattering small kisses wherever he could reach.

König did his research on how to ease menstrual pains. Painkillers, massage, yoga. But what particularly caught his attention - almost every article he’d read said that orgasm is a great way to get rid of cramps - not only healthy but pleasurable as well. So of course he suggested you just that.

König was so sad to see you this fearful and hesitant - “Baby, it’ll make a huge mess. Everything will be covered in blood and I don’t want you to get yourself dirty and-“ you rambled on, his eyes growing wide with every word you said. “Y/n, what are you even talking about?” He interrupted you softly, huge hands coming to cup your cheeks and he looks into your eyes deeply.

“Do you really think a bit of blood will stop me from fucking my amazing sexy girl? If you don’t want this - it’s okay, but please don’t think that I’m disgusted by you bleeding” he said it so earnestly, kissing both of your cheeks reassuringly. König hated the idea of you being self-conscious about absolutely natural processes in your body. So when you nodded shyly, slightly spreading your legs for him to settle in between them, König couldn’t contain a wide grin, even while kissing you passionately.

So with a thick towel under your hips, König got to work - lapping away at your poor pussy, smearing a mixture of your blood, slick and his own saliva all over his cheeks, gazing up at you drunkenly, moaning into your folds at the taste and smell of you. His fingers gently pumped in and out of your sopping cunt, marveling at the wetness blood provided, how easily three of his thick digits slipped into your sensitive cunny.

And only after making you cum on his mouth two times, König decided to fully indulge you, getting his heavy cock out of his boxers. With gentle move of his hips he sunk right into your velvety warmth, penetration as easy as ever due to blood lubrication. He went as gentle as ever, noting how overly sensitive you were - way more than usual. König made sure to not go too deep, to not disturb your poor uterus even more.

König was so sweet, rubbing your clit non-stop, wringing orgasm after orgasm out of your soft beautiful body. He scattered kisses all over your neck and chest, careful to not graze your sore from hormones nipples. And only when you couldn’t take no more - a trembling sweaty mess in his loving arms, babbling and whimpering deliriously, he allowed himself to finally cum on your twitching tummy.

König fucked you so good it took you several minutes to regain consciousness - with bleary eyes you looked up to him, your breath hitching slightly. Here was your boyfriend sitting next to you, grinning from ear to ear; lower half of his face was completely covered in dried blood, his hands and lower stomach glistening with dark red. That would definitely look terrifying if you didn’t know what exactly he was just doing.

“So how are your cramps?” He asked, his white teeth contrasting with brownish-red on his cheeks and lips. You closed your eyes in exhaustion, sinking deeper into soft pillows.

“Gone” you said, making König’s smile brighten impossibly more.

And yes, he’d definitely joke about being a vamp from this day on🙄

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Give writers some love, we live off feedback<3

[anantaru]

HSR + WRAP AROUND ME, PRETTY

— ꒰ including ꒱ — blade, dan heng, luocha, gepard x fem! reader

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ex]plicit, fem! reader, rough, praise here and there, teasing owowow, oral (fem! receiving) + oral! (male! receiving), prone bone, needy boys n feral boys

— ꒰ BLADE ꒱

blade simply cannot tear his gaze away from your core, it's futile to lie to himself any longer but you're the one for him, evermore had he sought after someone like you. you are the sweetest melody on his eyes and ears, the enchanting beauty that lit up his soul, because do not misunderstand, it was dark inside the man, inflamed by immortality.

for the present, he could wrap himself up in your lulling resonates and sleep even more soundly than a baby— it's simple, plainspokenly, and he thought that no other than fate itself was playing sickening jokes on him.

he hums appreciatively when you place your hands on his cheeks, it tickles when you circle your thumbs over his skin, "i love you." you say, and he swallows hard when you constrict around him, his large palms gripping your thighs when you moan in a broken tune as he spreads you effortlessly, splitting you open in the most delicious, most tasteful way imaginable to you.

how his cock was disappearing in your cunt— he's almost pleading for this to go on forever. and when he hides the blush on his face in your neck, a warm pinkish hue like that of a ripe peach, precisely because of your words, his mind rewires and reconnects, tongue coming out to leave wet kisses on your jawline, jerking up a little faster, coming to terms with the amplifying lust and love expanding inside of him.

your stomach twists and turns at the sensation of being full, swarming with his large erection throbbing against your walls, turning you sore, needy, sliding him up so nicely and milking him into your warm cunt, so he could become more sensitive and whine into your neck, way too embarrassed to face you now.

your lips were plastered in saliva when he grinds down hard into you, fucking into your hole strongly while lifting your hips into him with every new thrust forward— it's exceedingly sexy when he showed off his strength this way, that he can smoothly drag you on his cock accustomed to his desires.

you just smell so good, taste and feel even better, blade cannot believe you're his, and those soft hands of yours were his medication.

— ꒰ DAN HENG ꒱

"you want me to keep going?" you ask innocently, surrendered in that fleeting, feverish moment, just from below your soused, pretty lashes as dan heng looks down on you with hungry eyes, his hands strung in your hair as you playfully rub his cockhead over your wet lips, silencing the whisperings of his winces which were caused by no other than you.

"don’t stop," he whines at the featherlight friction of your mouth kissing the underside of his cock, big, glowy tears messily hanging from the edges of his handsome face, he's so desperate to fuck himself inside your warm mouth again, it's beginning to ache and his cock felt sore, throbbing in your hand, "please... it’s so good..."

you hum in awe, he was all but coordinated right now, his shallow thrusts into your mouth were sloppy and uneven, but it's frustrating when you suddenly pull him out of you again— and dan heng knows you're doing it on purpose too, to hear him beg and cry, tell you what he so desperately needed right now.

regardless of your needs to see him all over the place, with an almost pained expression on his face, you decide to pull him inside your mouth again, this time entirely until your natural gag reflex was taking place. you do not care on how messy it had gotten, and wet; or how your make up must look, because it's simple, you're drooling all over his dick, slurping and sucking while cupping his balls with your palm, using your saliva to lubricate them.

dan heng closes his eyes and whimpers when you seal your lips tightly around his aching girth, and when you suddenly hum and lick around his shaft, he spills over, your power on him was an aphrodisiac for sure, for with your incandescent eyes and darling voice you are in command of him.

the pressure in his stomach was broken into a million pieces when he scatters his hot cum deep in your throat, his taste, although slightly bitter, still pleasant when you drink it up all happy and fulfilled, making obscene noises as you slurp it all up for him, cleaning his thudding cock with your tongue as you kept him in your mouth, noticing how he wasn't done yet— somehow, although he had gotten a little softer, you think that you might be able to pull yet another climax out of him.

— ꒰ LUOCHA ꒱

it's never long before luocha gets grabby with you, revealed in the light of his eyes, bathed in the warmth of his voice when he tells you that in your very arms, the roaring storms inside of his heart quell down, appeased to a stand still.

his hands explore each and every corner of your inviting body when he flips you over at last, breaking down a surprised heave from your throat, your pretty, plush behind right on full display with his cock resting on top— he was leaking already, heavily awaiting to be nestled deep within you, altogether wet with his pre when he shamelessly drags his cockhead over your folds to lick his lips at your reactions.

he keeps going, of course he does, squeezing the mounds of flesh with one palm while the other inserts him slowly, but only the tip, yet you already feel a stretch on your core, it's instantly heavy in you and you're hiding your head in the pillow when you wiggle yourself into his erection for more— and if only he wouldn't pin you down so effortlessly, you'd probably manage to swallow more of his inches, just a bit, please, but he doesn't give you that revered satisfaction, he never does.

your following reaction was one of a helpless, lewd category, and your whines are something tangible for him to hold onto, to feast himself full on— almost like the only thing he needs to hear for the rest of his life.

"there's just something about you no other can match." he admits, bluntly, and his grip on you was strong, almost bruising if you didn't know any better before he continues his words, "hold still for me."

the man was glowing with excitement and bites down on his lower lip before dragging his cock into you, miserably failing to suppress a groan, it's the way his eyes were hooded yet the second he tastes you on him, walls clenching and constricting, tightening, and letting go again, his breath gets ragged and he exhales heavily through his parted lips.

succeeding, he slopes his entire weight against your body but keeps one hand under your waist to keep your ass up, ever so sweetly nuzzling into your neck, his warm breath puffing on your wet skin and tickling, "you feel so good that way."

you tip your head to the side, only as much as this certain position allowed you to, which— was quite difficult when you take into consideration that he had you conveniently trapped under him, his cock all heavy bulging inside of you, "oh, do i?" you coo, whining right after, but teasing him back, that's for sure, knowing it drives him absolutely nuts when sudden, crowded trembles leave your body the moment he kisses your cheek.

— ꒰ GEPARD ꒱

curiously enough, it's quite seldom to see gepard this riled up, dominant and needy for your precious touch. in a span of no time, he had you straddling his face, your thighs tight around his ears. his hand was greedily kneading the plush of your ass while the other was tightly shut around his exposed cock— fucking into the little opening of his hand, desperate and almost, feral, unhinged and lusting.

you want it so much your hands are shaking in his hair, trembling when you ride his sloppy tongue fucking in and out of your hole, a broad assemblage of blazing tears and spit coating your cheeks, because you cannot do anything else than get addicted to this, becoming a fucking mess when he has you in such position.

while even though you're the one on top, he makes no secret in showing you that he's in control— especially since he hadn't seen nor tasted you in so long, and those moans of his name, they're so heavy on filth, his mind can't cling onto the sensation of your skin plastered around his face when he ruts you into his tongue while fisting himself faster.

his cock was long since red and throbbing in his hands, it's burning and he might just cry at the build up intensity in his core, yet nothing was as good as this. your slick on his entire lower half and how you tasted only made him hornier, your liquids glazed on top of his taste buds.

within seconds, gepard groans into your pussy and you can barely hear yourself anymore, not when he himself was voicing his pleasure the same, fucked out way, albeit gritty and muffled by your cunt, it's audible and the vibrations he set free with his noises alone had you cramp down on nothing, constrict and wanting to be fucked by him.

after all, his tongue was fast with fucking in and out of your hole and the resonates of your slick hitting his wet muscle unbounded quivers on your core when you arch your back, your pussy dragging over his lips.

he's never leaving you time to rest properly whenever he had been apart from you for this long, your combined moans weaving together and showing your deep truths, and if it weren't for the head board that you were holding onto right now, you might've just collapsed on top of him.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[cheesiedomino]

Second Chances ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: your old situationship from many years ago just moved back in town and of course, he has to text you. but it’s not just any normal text — he’s asking you out on a proper date this time. will you give a second chance to Cupid? or will you be left here feeling stupid?

genre: lee minho x fem!reader | exes (??) to lovers wc: 4.6k tags/warnings: fluff, some light angst, slightly suggestive but nothing srs, mild cursing, kissing, small mentions of crying T-T

now playing 🎧: from the start by laufey

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“Why don’t you give Tinder a try already? I’m sick of hearing you nagging all day about being lonely!” Areum abruptly suggests mid-convo , resting her palm on the side of her face.

As you both casually wait for the food to arrive, you end up on the dreadful topic of dating again. You got into a real heated discussion with her, sitting in a booth at this new restaurant one of your coworker’s recommended. It wasn’t super well known but they wouldn’t stop raving about how delicious their breadsticks were. The place wasn’t too jam packed but definitely had a decent amount of people. What you weren’t anticipating on was seeing dozens of couples here, it kind of threw your whole vibe off since it only reminded you of your current sad relationship status. Maybe you were putting far too much thought into it but everything seemed so highly unfair. Glaring in envy while they all happily rub in your face that they’ve found their forever companion.

Life really can be cruel at times.

“You can’t be for real right now..” you instantly side eye your friend from across the table. Feeling personally triggered whenever she mentions online dating. You refuse to try it, never wanting to partake in such a vain concept where you swipe left and right based solely on looks. “That’s not the same as real romance. I want to meet someone naturally, wanna tell my kids when they grow up how I met their dreamy, hunk of a father in aisle 39 at Whole Foods.”

One could say it’s almost pathetic in a way— this burning desire you harbor within, longing for a pure, quaint, and beautiful love. Constantly catching yourself daydreaming about finding your life partner, the person you’re going to marry and possibly create an eternal family with. That day has yet to come unfortunately, but you still hold onto the thought of you someday meeting the one.

You thought you found them before, but thou shalt not speak thy names out into existence.

“Well, good luck finding ‘real romance’ in the big age of 2024-” Areum snorts in amusement, taking a pause to sip on her mango strawberry lemonade. “I need whatever drugs you’re on that’s making you this delulu so I can fantasize about my knight and shining armor that’s never coming!”

God you hate that word. Delulu. Why are you suddenly “delusional” for wanting a picture perfect romance? It doesn’t need to be perfect per se, but you want to feel adored, swept off your feet and embraced like the true queen you are. Was that too much to ask? Considering the current state of dating in this day and age, it might just be.

“I mean, let’s face it girl. You literally don’t know the first thing about love ___, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows like in the K-dramas y’know! Haven’t you only had like one boyfriend in high school? You barely even dated that guy for a month-”

“That’s because he dumped me to go move to LA and become a dumb YouTuber!” You snapped back, cutting her off to get all the facts straight.

It was hard not to grimace while thinking of such old memories. Dating a Minecraft streamer definitely had to be one of the most embarrassingly cringe choices you’ve ever made.

“Whatever that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to get at here is you don’t have the best track record when it comes to men. Remember that other guy you were seeing before we graduated? I thought y’all would’ve dated for sure but he turned out to be a dickhole just like the rest of ‘em…” Areum shakes her head in disbelief, recalling all those times you’d call in a frenzied panic about things not working out.

“What was his name again? Min… Minwoo? No, that’s not it.. it was definitely Min something.” She attempts on remembering but keeps drawing a blank.

“Minho.” You answer almost instantaneously. His name still rolled off the tongue smooth as velvet.

It felt weird though. Saying it out loud after so many years of blocking it from your immediate vocabulary. A name you thought would never escape your lips again.

“Damn, you really still think about him don’t you?” She dares to ask, knowing how difficult it is for you to even talk about this anymore.

You only respond by nodding slowly, unable to bring yourself to look at her. It was far too intense; bearing the emotions of hurt and guilt from a past fling that meant more to you but nothing to the other. That’s how most of your tragic stories end— always too overly into them while they barely reciprocate any of that energy towards you. The thing is, you thought Minho actually liked you, even so far as wanting to date in the near future. Considering he brought you over his parent’s house (to hook up of course), and though you didn’t meet them you still think that meant something. Most men don’t just bring any woman they’re seeing to their parent’s place without somewhat thinking a potential relationship could happen down the line.

“So that’s why you should download Tinder and start swipin’ on some other cuties! It’ll at least distract you for a bit and get your mind off that asswipe,” Areum pitches her idea once more, “there’s plenty other fish in the sea ___. Not everyone online is some crazy serial killer, plus you clearly don’t seem to be having much luck out in the real world.”

You wanted to jump up from the table and erase that smirk from her face but instead you roll your eyes at that last remark. “I don’t need those shitty dating apps. I’m very capable of finding someone in real life for your information!” You quickly retort as a means to defend yourself. Even though she did have a point, her delivery could’ve been a little bit nicer.

It’s not easy being a hopeless romantic, you can’t help but yearn for that special someone to enter your life and change it for the better. You won’t feel wholly satisfied nor complete until you do. The sad reality of the matter was that you are still painfully single. No one’s interesting enough to cease your attention, let alone go on any actual dates. Areum’s had enough of your bitching and whining though, there’s only so many rants and tirades she can keep listening to about your vicious hatred for men before she loses it completely. Your nonexistent love life has become more of a nuisance as that time of year approaches— Valentine’s Day. A god forsaken holiday you’ve always loathed with a passion. Wanting nothing more than to be one of those girls on the receiving end getting flowers and chocolates. A day full of the utmost joy and pleasant surprises from your loving significant other.

Must be nice..

Speaking of surprises.. The buzzing in your ear echoes from your phone pinging loudly, indefinitely startling you. Grabbing it to check the sudden notification, your eyes go absurdly wide at the contact name displayed on your screen. Blinking numerous times from shock, you stare at your phone in incredulity; making sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

Lee Minho. The Lee Minho?

What kind of sorcery is being conjured where the instant you bring him up, he somehow texts you after all these years of not speaking? This coincidence was more than unsettling to you. A part of your inner thoughts still believes this is all some elaborate joke being played on you, waiting for a cameraman to pop out of some curtain to announce you’ve just been pranked. But nothing happens, life proceeds as normal. Now you’re left with the most puzzling notification you might’ve ever received.

It was your last year of college and the pressure of your academics along with appeasing your family was getting to you immensely. You needed an escape from all of it, desperately. Which you found through none other than Lee Minho, the boy who worked as a barista at Cozmo’s; this coffee shop you used to frequent a lot. It was a cute, small family-owned establishment and they made the best matcha lattes— in your humble opinion. You’d pick one up almost every day along with a slice of freshly baked cinnamon bread. It started off as only playful banter with him in the beginning, then it lead to more as time went on. One day, as you reached out to pay he blocked your hand from moving any closer, letting you freely walk away without spending a dime. This soon became a regular occurrence, as you’d start seeing Minho outside of work, getting to know more and more about him. You remember so desperately wanting to date back then, pitying your past self for thinking there was even a chance.

‘Maybe he’s just texted the wrong person’ you psyche yourself into thinking, but when you unlock your phone to finally read the message — an uncomfortable lump forms in the pit of your throat.

Minho 🐈:

Hey is this still ___’s number?

You honestly don’t know why you still have his number saved, let alone allowing a whole emoji to be next to it. Though it never was like you to delete anything, no matter how painful it may have been. More lingering questions makes you want to seek out the possible solutions. Why would he text you of all people ? None of this adds up in your mind realistically. Furrowing your brows in concentration, you think of what to say as you draft out a response.

Yes… who’s this?

After a tedious struggle of typing out multiple paragraphs and immediately deleting them, you went over your words a few more times before sending a final reply. It would’ve been strange had you knew exactly who he was off the bat, that’ll just be dead giveaway you still had his contact info saved this whole time. But with that logic, doesn’t that make Minho just as odd for still keeping your number after all this time has passed?

Your phone dings again.

Minho 🐈:

Srsly -_-

Did you really delete my number??

Bet he didn’t see that one coming. He probably thought the moment he texts you, you were gonna kiss up to him like you’ve always done in the past. Mentally giggling to yourself at the image of him getting flustered by you not knowing who he was at first. Feels good to know you knocked his confidence down a peg.

Lol, chillax.. I know it’s you Minho :P

Not even a minute later, a flood of incoming messages appear. Biting your lip out of nervousness, your heart couldn’t stop beating so fast— anxiously checking your phone as the atmosphere around you suddenly gets stuffier.

Minho 🐈:

Better be lucky I didn’t block you after that ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Guess who’s back in the city btw. Did ya miss me? ;)

No need to answer that, I already know you did. You should stop by at Cozmo’s again sometime!

Also what’re you up to this week? I need you to clear out all your plans because I’m taking you out on a date.

You always knew Minho was the bold type but this was on another level. The sheer audacity he has to even ask something like this after not reaching out for almost 3 years was more than ballsy on his part. It felt like a surge of butterflies erupting in your stomach, getting lightheaded as you think about seeing him again. He really had an effect on you like no other.

Glancing up from your screen to finally pay attention to Areum again, you assure her everything’s going to be just fine. “Looks like I won’t be needing to download Tinder after all.”

Later on that day you ended up going to Cozmo’s and meeting up with Minho. It never really took much convincing from him to get you to budge, though it was a hell of a lot worse back then. You used to blindly follow along with anything he said just to seek his approval, hoping that eventually he’ll see you as the girl he wants to settle down with. Alas, nothing ever blossomed into something more, and you knew deep down that this was headed nowhere— but that still didn’t stop you from fantasizing about a future with him. Getting lost into deep thought, head heavy in the clouds as you imagine the idea of Minho confessing his undying love for you. You’ll be so caught off guard as he gets down on one knee, looking at you with the entire solar system in eyes while he proposes in the most charming way. It really is pitiful how much you still daydream about a guy who wasn’t your boyfriend but would constantly act like he was, then up and leaves without mentioning a single word about it.

You convinced yourself he ran off with someone else to have a better life with, even hearing through town gossip that he’s moved to South Korea to pursue becoming an idol. Whatever the case may be it still weighed heavily on your mind that he never bothered to tell you anything, even a simple ‘goodbye’ would’ve sufficed the empty hole in your heart. The main reason you agreed on meeting up with Minho was to finally ask, why? Why did he pretend to like you? Why did he act like your boyfriend when he never had intentions on seriously dating? Why was he so good at making you fall so hard for him..?

“You look great.” You subconsciously blurt out, affixed in a daze as you stare in awe at the man in front of you.

It’s been a while since you came here— never able to fully bring yourself to try and go back. Though you knew this place first, and they really did have the best Mactha lattes in the universe. It reminded you too much of him and you sadly had to let it go.

You weren’t proud of it but you did go home quickly to change clothes and redo your makeup. Usually you wouldn’t care but this was the only guy you’ve been consistently crushing on for years, you had to feel good inside and out. Minho was just as gorgeous as you remembered, if not he looked even more ethereal — which seemed impossible in itself already. He’s grown up so beautifully, his facial features became more sharp, especially his jawline which looks so defined and sculpted by the Gods.

Minho lightly chuckles at your timidness, some things just never change. “You look way better.” His lips drew into a faint smirk as he admires your presence.

He meant every word of what he said, you looked really good, and it was making him even more frustrated that so much time has passed. Regretting the way he handled things so many years ago, wishing he could take it all back and do everything differently. Seeing you again made it easier for Minho to suppress the guilt he’s borne for so long. This moment feels like a second chance to make amends for his past mistakes.

You couldn’t help but blush when you hear his compliment, feeling your ears grow hot as you look at the ground. There was a silent pause between you that lasted for what seemed like ages. Weirdly enough the conversation flowed well after he finally broke the awkwardness, the chemistry was overall still there and were able to pick up right where it left off.

“I’m so glad you came ___, I’ve been dying to see you since I got here. I’m surprised you even still responded to my lame ass.”

Minho’s light confession puzzles you. If he really was dying to see you, why’d he wait so long to get in contact with you? To be fair, you don’t know the exact time he came back.

“Oh, is that so? When’d you come back? Also show me pics of Korea, I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like there.” You fondly inquire, leaning against the side of the wall as he’s still behind the counter. He mentioned to you he’s only working part time because his parents would rather mooch off their son for free labor than to hire and pay a new employee.

“Yesterday,” he quickly states before taking out his phone to scroll through his gallery, “guess my sister must’ve told you I went there huh?”

You shook your head, “Nah, I haven’t talked to Elle in a while. She’s tried hitting me up a few times though.. but I found out through Areum ‘cause she was seeing Hoseok back then.”

They were definitely “seeing” each other alright, but mostly in the bedroom. Areum didn’t want anything exclusive with Hoseok and neither did he, it was the perfect friends with benefits situation. Minho and Hoseok were good friends who’ve known each other for a while, so naturally he’d tell Areum everything and overshare at some point.

“Agh, there’s a customer gotta take this. One sec, sorry!” He briefly apologizes before bringing his attention to the new person heading inside. You nod, signaling he’s good to go. “I’ll be waiting over there,” you point to a small wooden table with 2 chairs in a corner.

Once Minho comes back you notice he’s no longer wearing his purple work apron; back in his regular attire now and sporting an oversized dark grey hoodie that was three times too big. He was holding a large cup with green liquid and a paper bag in his hand, that’s when it clicks for you— he still remembers your favorite meal.

He’s grinning the whole time he’s handing you the matcha latte and cinnamon pastry, smiling from ear to ear like a kid on Christmas Day. This was the most you’ve seen him be so enthusiastic about something, even back when you were “with” him you can’t recall him beaming with such energy like this.

“Awh, thank you. I haven’t had either one of these in years!” You wanted to give him the biggest hug but you refrained from doing so, feeling as though it may be too early for that.

“Of course dear, anything for you.”

Why does everything he says have to make you melt from the inside out? It’s not fair! >:(

Glancing down at your yummy beverage, you see a message written on the side of the glass with bold permanent sharpie. Tilting your head to read it, the words are bit jumbled together but you get the gist. You’re almost left speechless after it reads: ‘___, Will you be my valentine?’

Your most dreaded and least favorite holiday is here, yippee! But, there’s a twist on this year’s turn of events; you actually have someone to celebrate this wretched tradition with. You should be excited but all you’re feeling is the sudden urge to vomit as you were nervous out of your mind. This was kind of weird to you, going on a date with your ex boyfriend who was never even your real boyfriend. Looking back on it now you shouldn’t have tolerated a relationship dynamic like that, Minho was clearly taking advantage of your passiveness by not explicitly saying what he wanted. On the contrary, you had no one to blame but yourself, you never spoke up or criticized anything even if it didn’t coincide with your personal morals.

The fact he never took you on an actual date until now speaks volumes, you obviously didn’t have enough self worth back to demand better treatment. It took you years of figuring out what a real, healthy relationship is supposed to be like through trials of therapy and that was an emotional rollercoaster in itself. All your uncertainties soon faded away once you became more secure and knew exactly what you wanted for yourself. It took every ounce of patience and acceptance to unlearn all your bad coping mechanisms and other toxic behaviors that were only stunting your inner growth. You’re happy to be in a position now where you’re able to express wholeheartedly what you deserve, it’s the best feeling ever to feel like you’re in control of your own life.

You spent almost 3 hours getting ready and your bedroom now looked like a war zone. The outfit you chose was super girly, a frilly white dress with pink platform heels— Minho’s going to drool in amazement when he sees you. When you sent Areum photos of you before heading out, she responds right way with a series of hearts and other sweet comments— hyping you up to no end like the best friend she is. She’s also able to help pull you out of your doubtful headspace, when you felt unsure if you could really go through with this she quickly psyched you out of it. Reminding you exactly who you are and why you are the prize, not him. ‘He should be the one who’s nervous, not the other way around’ you assure yourself over and over as a mini ego boost.

His jaw dropped when he spotted you walking up to his car, infatuated by how pretty and perfect you looked in every way possible. It angers him so much to know he took all this for granted, he didn’t appreciate all of you the way he should’ve but now he gets another chance to redo everything and right his wrongs. It’s a lot of pressure but he bravely accepts it, he could never mess up another opportunity like this again. The car ride was fairly silent in the beginning, you were vibing in peace as the only thing you could hear was Minho’s soft indie playlist as background music.

You ultimately chose to be the one to speak first, breaking the ice with a simple inquiry about the date. “So where are we going?” Looking out at the scenery from the window, all you is trees and more trees. If it’s something to do with nature you surely don’t want any parts of it, you’ve never been too fond of the wilderness.

“It’s a surprise, I can’t tell you.” He keeps a tight seal on today’s destination without dropping a single hint, forcing you to go completely blind into this. As he goes back to focus on the road, you sigh anxiously after hearing him refuse to disclose anything.

Did he seriously forget what kind of person you are? Anyone who’s close to you at all knows you’ve never been into those types of things. Ever.

“You know I hate surprises Minho,” you remind him, attempting to pry for more information. Even shooting him a doe eyed look along with poking out your bottom lip, but he doesn’t falter.

He simply nods, “I know but you’ll like this one, just have a little bit of faith me.” Flashing an innocent smile at you, he seems to be overly confident in whatever his plan consists of.

After almost half an hour passes the car finally comes to a stop, you scan the area and instantly notice a sense of familiarity among the place. Across from you was an ice cream parlor you thought didn’t exist anymore. But there it is, still standing with dozens of customers waiting in line. The small shop was famously known for its fish-shaped ice cream cones, you’ve always wanted to visit the place and try it when you were a little from seeing it on TV all the time. When you told Minho about it, you said how your parents would say it was too far but it actually closed down and they didn’t know how to tell you. From time to time you’d still think about that place, but you would’ve never thought they relocated. Being here with Minho brings an indescribable amount of happiness to your spirit.

“I mentioned this place like one time in passing, how’d you even remember?” You wonder in amazement, after all these years he still remembers something as minuscule as this.

“It may not have seemed like it but I paid attention to every little detail you told me ___, all it. Of course I know you don’t like surprises but how else would I have been able to take you here?” He sweetly expresses to you, not wanting to hold back anymore.

You wanted to cry right here, right now. All your emotions came crashing down at once and it’s hard to keep them concealed. A lot has changed within these years, things feel so different with him now, especially with how much he’s matured. You notice how he doesn’t act like the typical fuckboy in his early 20’s anymore, he’s much more interested in getting to know only person — that being you.

“I’ve rehearsed this in my head like a million times and I don’t think I’ll ever say it the right way I want but it’s time I start being as transparent as possible with you…” Minho takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve always liked you ___, from the start actually,” he keeps going, “I was just scared, of what I don’t know.. Commitment maybe?”

Slightly looking in another direction, your vision faintly blurs from tears welling up, “I- I honestly don’t know what to say..”

“Then don’t say anything at all, I don’t need you to. I may not know the first thing about how to love someone, but I want to learn all of it with you.” He feels all the remorse of leaving you alone for all these years, unable to process the pain you must’ve endured at him not getting into contact with you. “I’m so sorry ___. For everything, I’m going to make it all better I promise.”

Your eyes subconsciously flutter shut when he comes in contact with you. Connecting in perfect symmetry with your lips to sync together in motion. His gentle hands cupped your face delicately; his touch was so warm and inviting. Your fingers were deeply tangled in his brunette locks, relishing every minute as he tilts his head to capture more of you. He genuinely couldn’t believe he went this long without kissing these luscious lips again. His tongue grazed the bottom of your lip to subtly ask for entry and you comply. Dopamine floods both your senses like a series of fireworks going off, feeling intoxicated by each other’s taste. It was probably that vanilla bean chapstick you always wore— an old favorite of his and is still your go-to flavor of choice. He wanted to savor you in this moment for as long as he could, cherish the fact he has you in his hold again.

“Want to know something funny?” He asks out of nowhere, still smirking from that heated kiss that just happened seconds ago.

“Hm?”

“You’re the reason I ended up coming back here.” Minho states bluntly, no hesitation detected in his voice whatsoever.

You struggle to comprehend anything, overwhelmed by all his sudden confessions. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I never want to leave your side ever again ___. I’m staying here with you, I already made the biggest mistake of losing you once I can’t let the same thing happen twice.” He spoke tenderly from the bottom of his heart, it felt so genuine you couldn’t not believe him.

Going back to rewind time isn’t possible, but “do-over’s” are, and sometimes we’re able to get those second chances to make things right when we get them wrong the first time.

[End <3].

[temiizpalace]

helloo may I request a prompt for the love triangle event please?

I'd like to ask for Jade and Vil with prompt 3 where they both offer their shoulders to rest on! tysmm

☆┊PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER! NOT HIS! (👑 vs.🐬)

SUMMARY: THEY BOTH OFFER HIS SHOULDER TO REST ON. WHO KNEW IT BECAME A FULL BLOWN WAR!

CHARACTERS: vil schoenheit vs. jade leech

EVENT MASTERLIST

WARNINGS: no determined end couple, jealousy, mentions of jade ssr vignette

NOTES: eel mafia vs a world star. sure why not!!! thank you for your request!

reader is g/n, reader is yuu

��∘☆∘˚

vil did not mind helping you study.

actually, it was quite flattering. all these students around you with incredible grades, and you hand selected him as your tutor. i guess it was only natural. smart and goodlooking? you have good taste.

“and you have to carry the 7 or else it’ll throw off your entire answer. keep note of that.” he pointed at the equation on your worksheet. “ohhh.. that makes sense. thanks vil!” you smile, eagerly writing down the answer. your happy smile was so enthralling. a moment that cannot be captured elsewhere. a one of a kind sight. thank goodness he was an actor, hiding his emotions came like second nature.

if only you were alone together...

“well done, prefect. that was a difficult problem.” jade chuckles, nodding as you solved another equation. “at this rate, you’ll become quite the mathematician.” vil was less than pleased to be accompanied by jade.. especially considering what a manipulator that man could be. he’s already been played for a fool once, he doesn’t dare allow you to fall under similar influence.

“your steadily improving. i say finish a few more problems and you should have it memorized.” vil adds, pulling out a couple more pages. “oh! that’s.. uhm.. can we take a little break?” you ask hesitantly, fearing the tall stack of papers vil had seemingly grabbed out of thin air. almost offended by the thought, vil scoffs.

“this isn’t only about the material, it is also routine. perhaps not this entire stack, but we must do a few more to ensure you’ll continue to do well.” vil places a new worksheet in front of you, sounding like an enraged father when their child can’t memorize the multiplication table. “yes sir..” you mumble.

“oh come now, vil. the poor prefect looks positively exhausted. just look at their eyebags.” jade sighs, suddenly patting your shoulder. as much as he hates to admit, jade had a point. your eyebags stick out like a sore thumb. what an idiot he was to not notice sooner, a fault on his part. “tell me, [MC], when have you last slept?” jade asks, making you flinch.

“next question, please.” you reply, breaking into a cold sweat. the eel tuts in disapproval, shaking his head with a frown. “this simply cannot do. didn’t you know you need at least 8 hours of sleep?” it felt like a lecture. an incredibly boring and uninteresting one.

“agreed. beauty rest is important and staying up late is horrible for your skin,” vil adds, massaging is temples. “i’ll send you some of my own personal skincare for you to use and hide your eyebags, but you must get adequate amounts of sleep.” he huffs, crossing his arms. “okay, okay, i hear you both.” you yawn, stretching your arms out.

“please, rest now. we can always carry on another day.” jade smiles, patting his shoulder for you to rest on. “i can rest there?” you ask, a bit taken aback. “what’s the catch?” vil raises a brow, feeling uneasy with jade’s suggestion. it might be the jealousy, but something doesn’t sit right with him. “please, my intentions are entirely pure. i want nothing more than to see our beloved prefect resting well.”

jade put a hand over his heart, keeping his usual expression while hiding the beating of his heart. “mostro lounge might need their vice soon, no? the prefect may rest on my shoulder. i insist.” vil points to his shoulder, imploring you to place your head onto it. “huh?? guys it’s fine seriousl—“

“mostro lounge can handle itself, i assure you.” jade cuts you off, finding vil’s intense glare quite amusing. it was clear he was livid, and honestly that was the best source of entertainment jade could ask for. “i just wish to care for the prefect. your presence is excused.” vil waves jade off, signaling for him to get lost.

“oh? but wouldn’t having [MC] rest on your shoulder be harmful to your image and theirs? think of the scandals that might go around.. fufu, quite intriguing, hm?” jade hums, lifting a gloved hand to his chin. “i have a man taking care of any possible scandal that might go around, so that is truly the least of my concern.” vil smiles smugly, standing his ground.

as the argument, or rather, civil discussion, continued, the drowsiness began to capture your body. their murmuring began to sound like soft lullabies as you allowed the sleep to take you. your head rested against the hard wooden desk, staying unnoticed til both boys heard your snores.

“they look quite peaceful.” vil murmurs softly, looking at you with a twinkle in his eyes. “breathtaking.” jade coos, brushing stray hairs out of your face.

this rivalry wasn’t over, oh no, much farther from that. however, to keep you sleeping for as long as you could, they’ll hold off their insults and bite their tongue.

how could you turn him like this?

A/N: sbsbsbsb writing is feeling difficult lately

date published: 9/16/24

[jmliebert]

hihiiii! if you take requests / suggestions, i’d loooooovvveeee to see something for halsin with an insecure partner, like maybe they’re insecure about scars or something like that, and how halsin would react to that (being as shameless as he is lol)

oh! I absolutely love this request, I was thinking about it for some time and came up with little something(s), enjoy ♡

♡ halsin turning your insecurities into unapologetic love (halsin x shy!reader)♡

Halsin has lived for a long time, long enough to see beauty through more than just limited lenses. He is wise and understands the ways of the world deeply enough to recognise that beauty is everywhere; in tall grass, in abandoned nests, in sunlight filtering through the leaves, in a mother's love, and in acts of kindness. He sees beauty in you as well, and it’s a shame you don’t see yourself the way he does.

"You're a gift of nature,"

he says, and he means it. To him, your scars are a testament to your story and a path leading to untold pleasure (one of many). He doesn’t merely see them; he reveres them. His lips trace every mark and line with a gentle touch, each kiss so lovely and intense it leaves you breathless. His hands explore your body with a passion. He finds beauty in your stretch marks, in the irregularities of your teeth, in every scar. To him, these are not flaws but unique traits that define you. And he loves you.

Halsin’s eyes are ever-watchful, never leaving your body. It’s impossible to hide anything from him for long, as his gaze is both penetrating and tender. He seeks to know and see everything because he desires to embrace all of you. He wants to cherish you completely because he is forever hungry when it comes to you.

During intimate moments, Halsin’s gaze becomes even more intense. Sometimes you catch his eyes flickering with a golden light, a hint of the beast inside him barely held at bay. He locks eyes with you even when he is buried between your thighs, giving you pleasure. He looks up at you, his eyes filled with unabashed longing and the curiosity of a lover, wanting to see if he’s making you feel good. He smiles when you nod at him, his lips and chin smeared with your wetness.

If Halsin shows naked in front of you and you find your eyes on the ground, suddenly all bashful (I would be bashful too, seeing him in his full glory out of nowhere) he smiles to himself; your reactions endearing to him. Then he gently takes your hand and guides it to his body, letting you explore his chest, face, his back, teaching you that it’s okay to touch, to look, to desire. He’s all yours, completely and utterly. His gaze never wavers, and if you try to look away again, he will softly lift your chin with a finger, smiling warmly with reassurance. He lets you touch his penis too, heavy on his thigh. And with every touch you give him, he melts, and moans quietly showing you how good you make him feel.

Whenever you express any insecurity, Halsin responds with an embrace that is both intense and passionate. He pulls you close, his hands roaming your body with a hunger that leaves no room for doubt about him being completely feral when it comes to you. He inspects every part of you, worshipping each inch with kisses, caresses, and gentle bites. If you ever feel the need to hide your breasts (for whatever reason) or any other part of your body, he gently moves your hands aside and showers that area with loving attention.

“Never hide from me,”

he whispers, his voice filled with reverence.

So... yes, Halsin lavishes attention on the parts of you that you’re most insecure about, turning them into focal points of his erotic devotion. He kisses you with a primal need, making you feel like the most desirable person in the world—in his eyes, you truly are. He sees your insecurities as areas that demand his passionate adoration, ensuring that you feel cherished and loved through every touch.

He is often shameless (!), because he’s not afraid to show what he likes, and he intends to show it to you. His desire for you is vocal and unapologetically honest. He frequently whispers dirty words against your skin, his breath hot and heavy as he tells you how much he wants to take you right then and there. His passion is unbridled really. Basically he wants you everywhere, in every position, every state and he isn’t afraid to tell you so and it feels good, sooo good knowing he wants you so much.

“I love how you whine when I enter you,”

he might say, his voice thick with desire. He's not telling you this to make you shy of course, he just says it because he means it (so cool).

“I love the way you hold me with your legs."

"The frown between your eyes."

"The way your gaze changes when you desire me.”

(...)

His praises are specific and heartfelt, making you feel adored and seen. Halsin teaches you confidence and self-acceptance through his lovely and endless affection. He helps you see the world and yourself through his eyes, where every imperfection is a unique beauty. He even initiates intimate rituals to help you become more comfortable with your body, massaging you with warm oils, his touch both soothing and arousing. But it's not only that. He guides you hands to touch your body, explore it. Showing you how to find pleasure in your own skin.

Halsin treasures the moments when you reveal your insecurities, responding with love, acceptance, and tenderness. He never laughs or dismisses your fears, no matter how ridiculous they may seem. Instead, he offers soft smiles, wise words, gentle kisses, and loving touches that make you feel safe and wanted. Over time, he helps you believe in your own beauty and worth, which is truly wonderful !!!

In bed, Halsin delights in making you moan and whisper his name, using his expert touch and passionate kisses to dispel your insecurities. He believes that your pleasure is the most beautiful sound, and he works tirelessly to elicit it. He encourages you to express your pleasure openly, teaching you that there is no shame in experiencing such profound joy and ecstasy.

As your confidence grows, you begin to explore your sexual fantasies with him, and Halsin is always very (!) eager to make your dreams come true. He creates a safe space for you to express your deepest desires, responding with enthusiasm and acceptance. He sees you as a divine embodiment of nature’s beauty and primal lust, worshipping you with reverent and hungry touches that make you feel like a goddess.

Because to him, you are a goddess, and he worships you.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

maybe, just maybe I got a little carried away....sorry

but also (!)

about these sexual fantasies, maybe you have some suggestions what could they be? I want some inspiration for some naughty short-story maybe, so please don't be shameful ;) and write to my inbox or sth, also if you want some particular headcanons featuring some characters from bg3 hit me up as well I'M THIRSTY!

and!

you can find more of my works about halsin ♡here♡ hihi

[fieldofdaisiies]

Scars Like Mine pt. 2

paring: Azriel x Reader | type: fluff | words: 1,6k | warnings: none. playlist: hurts | scars to your beautiful | beauty marks | stronger | fly with me finally part 2 is here, I am sorry for the long wait; part 1 (how Azriel meets Elia and her mother)

“Are we going flying now?” Elia bounces up and down on her chair, then gulps down the rest of her hot cocoa in one big sip. She taps her fingers onto the wooden table, her gaze ping-ponging between Azriel and you.

You reach for your daughter’s hand, trying to calm her a little while throwing Azriel an apologetic look, but he only smiles politely. “Azriel has just arrived here, my love, give him a little break and let him enjoy breakfast with us.”

It has become a natural thing for the three of you. Azriel has come here often in the past months, at least two times a week, to have breakfast with you and then go flying with Elia. Maybe on one or the other occasion, unbeknownst to your daughter, Azriel already arrived the evening before and spent the night with you. Yes, yes, it is true. The two of you have started dating a while ago and you couldn’t be happier. 

Elia knows that you are dating, knows that her mummy is suddenly a lot happier, and her days are brighter. Elia loves this, loves to see her mother smile and laugh so much, and loves to have Azriel here to fly with her. He is great at flying and can teach her so many things. She has already learned how to do a turn, a twist and fly a spiral. 

It gives you small heart attacks whenever you see those stunts, but you know that with Azriel, and him always being close to her, she is safe and nothing can happen to her, or will ever happen to her. 

“It is fine,” Azriel says, “I’m almost done anyway.” He takes a sip from his water, before gulping down the whole glass and rising from his chair. Your gaze follows him, the outline of his strong, solid body, and you pull your lower lip between your lips when memories of the other night fill your mind. It is insane and should be forbidden what his wicked mouth and his hands can do, and you wonder how you got so lucky to have met him. 

Not only for yourself. He is not only a god in the sheets. Azriel is everything you have ever hoped for in a male. Kind, caring, charming, wonderful, smart, and he loves your daughter and treats her with so much kindness and fatherly-love (even though she is not his daughter) your heart wants to cry. You have cried on many occasions already, not believing that you actually got so lucky to finally have this amazing male in your life. 

Azriel reaches out his hand when Elia jumps up from her chair and starts punching the air. He brushes his scarred hand over your head and smiles when he meets your gaze. “We’ll be careful, I promise.”

“I know,” you smile up at him and place your hand atop his, thumb stroking his marred skin. “I trust you.” You rise as well, and kiss him on his cheek and then pull your daughter into your arms, squeezing her tightly while plastering her face with kisses. “I also trust you, no crazy stunts or twists or spins,” you tell her, knowing it is useless anyway. 

In the corner of your eye you catch Azriel grinning at her, knowing that they plan on doing stunts and crazy twists and turns, but if it brings her joy, you would never forbid it. She will be fine you, you know it. 

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

“I am flying!” Elia blazes ahead of Azriel, throws him a big grin over her shoulder. She is now onto her third spin in a row, Azriel always close to her in order to catch her if she threatens to fall. She has turned into a great flyer, but Azriel doesn’t fully trust her abilities yet. She is still very young, the muscles in her wings not yet so strong. 

She is so fast, and her laughter so radiant it fills Azriel with pure bliss. Seeing her happy, it is so good and knowing how happy her happiness makes you, is all Azriel needs in life. The two of you have made his life so much better – in you he has found a family, one that resembles the one his brothers have and he couldn’t be any happier. 

“Look!” Elia hollers and Azriel grins brightly. 

“So amazing, Elia!” he shouts to her over the rising wind, showing her thumbs up. She makes another spin and now even Azriel’s stomach dips. She catches herself and blazes away once again. She twirls around Azriel when she changes direction. And then…

Out of the blue, words leave her mouth that nearly make Azriel lose balance, that nearly throw him off his wings and make him slam to the ground.

“Look, dad, I am flying like a bird. I am weightless and free” She makes another twirl, one big swirl around Azriel, grinning from one ear to the other, fully oblivious to what she has just said.

For a few months, he has flown with Elia, many times, more than he can count on both hands, but never has she called him anything but Azriel before. It is hard to catch himself now. Although he never admitted it, he has always hoped for a little family of his own and children. And now…now this might truly become reality. 

The rest of the flying session passes too quickly, Azriel is unfocused, distracted but always careful so nothing happens to your daughter, but his thoughts stray, and he finds himself imagining a future where the three of you are truly a family – you and him married, and Elia calling him dad on a daily basis. It is a beautiful dream, so beautiful tears start to burn behind his eyes when he catches Elia in his arms and helps her lower herself to the ground. 

She inhales deeply, then tucks in her wings. “I need to tell mummy about flying today, come come!” She tugs at Azriel’s hand, already setting out for your hut, dragging him along with her. 

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

You brush the wet sponge over his back, and softly move on to his left wing, careful not to touch the sensitive parts. Leaning in, you kiss the nape of his neck, then carry on to help him wash his back. Elia is already fast asleep, after telling you everything about the flying session while you ate dinner. It was wonderful to listen to her, and you couldn’t stop smiling when she recounted all the swirls and twirls she made and how much joy flying brings her. 

The only thing that confused you, how absentminded Azriel seemed during dinner. He hardly added any comments, normally he loved talking about flying with Elia, this time he kept calm, was mostly distracted and you really hope he will open up what has been going on within him. 

It is almost as if he can read your mind, because only a moment after you finish your thought, he says, in a voice full of emotion, “Elia called me dad today.”

You stop. Everything stops. Your hand folds over your mouth, to keep the gasp that threatens to escape contained. Tears start to build up in your eyes and then the sponge drops into the water. “Are you–is it–I hope–”

“I didn’t mind,” Azriel answers quickly, having noticed your sudden tension. He turns in the tub, tucking in his wings so he can look up at you. “Actually…” He inhales a deep breath and his eyes close. “I actually appreciated it a lot, and didn’t mind at all. I liked it,” he sheepishly admits. “I have always wanted children, and being with you and having Elia in my life as well has brought me more joy than anything else in my life before. I couldn’t be happier and her calling me dad…it felt so right.”

“It is alright for you?” you ask, carefully.

“Of course!” Azriel turns even more in the tub and places his hand on your knee. “Is it alright for you? She has a father after all and he–”

“He was an asshole and I never ever want her to have anything to do with him. You are the best thing that could happen to her, and I love that she has probably realised that as well. She has never asked for her father, she knows that he has caused us this pain, that her body is marred from fire because of his doings.” 

You swallow around the lump in your throat and tears roll down your cheeks. “I couldn’t have hoped for a better father substitute than you. You are everything I could have ever asked for and she loves you.”

“And I love you, and our little…”

“Family,” you finish for him, cradling his face in your hands and kissing his lips softly.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

At first you hear a door open. Azriel is deep asleep, he doesn’t hear it and also not the soft padding of feet over the ground. The bed dips on your side, and you reach out your arms, lifting your daughter into the bed. “Can I sleep here tonight?” 

You kiss her brow. “Of course, my love.”

You help her crawl over your, so she can get comfortable between you and Azriel, snuggling up to your side, her face buried in the crook of your neck. Azriel stirs awake, but not completely, he mumbles a few incomprehensible words and then simply curls his arm around the both of you, inhaling deeply before falling right back asleep. 

You have to smile to yourself, your heart so full of love and bliss, it nearly bursts out of your chest. And the smile stays on your lips when you fall asleep, the two most important people close to you, in your arms and you know that everything is alright and a bright future is ahead of you. 

tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii@nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @aroseinvelaris @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22  @valeridarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian  @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate123 @eos-princess @courtofjurdan @a-frog-with-a-laptop @insufferablebookaddict @azriels-mate2 @callmeblaire @lilah-asteria

[kyojurokoibito]

HI UH— I saw you had requests open, but if you don’t want to do this go ahead and ignore it! here’s the request: I was wondering if I could get a Drabble or headcanon (I don’t mind) of Zenitsu’s S/o, who usually kindly declines his presses for marriage saying it’s too soon, suddenly turning the tables and asking HIM for marriage when he does something super suave or sweet? I could see this person denying it after tbh— that’s all thank you!! Good luck in college :>

"A Cup Full of Love"

Pairing(s): zenitsu agatsumu x reader

Synopsis: zenitsu asks for your hand in marriage everyday, which you always politely decline. imagine his surprise when you ask to marry him!

Genre: fluff, slight crack

Warning(s): n/a

Rori's Notes: IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT ANON😭! thank you for the request! i actually really like writing for zenitsu, so i'm glad you sent it! and thank you love, college is going great! going into the spring semester of junior year, so it's flying bye lol! this one is kinda short, but i hope you enjoy! <3

once zenitsu is finally able to call you his, he's never letting you go!

he has been pining after you for a while. your gentle nature immediately pulled him towards you, and it didn't take long you both to become friends

you're not a slayer, but you are an extremely skilled healer and work alongside shinobu and aoi in the butterfly mansion. you were eager to learn the ways of medicine from the insect hashira, and she was just as eager to teach.

"oh my, you catch on quick! everyone is sure to make a speedy recovery with you around" shinobu praised you with a clap of her hands as she watched you make medicines, and you gave a small, yet proud, smile."th-thank you, lady shinobu!"

one day, the three butterfly triplets came running up to you in a panic. "y/n! y/n! y/n! come quickly!"

you stopped hanging the freshly washed blankets on the clothes and looked at the three girls, "girls, what's the matter?" you furrowed your eyebrows, looking at the three as they proceed to drag you off into the mansion. "the thunder boy, zenitsu, needs medical attention," one girl proclaims. "but no one can get him to take his medicine," calls another. "even aoi is struggling," shouted the third girl.

as the tugged you further down the hallway, you could hear a boy's screaming become louder. "DON'T MAKE ME TAKE THAT AWFUL MEDICINE!!! I HATE ITTTTT!!!" a lot of noise could be heard, and you heard aoi shout in return as zenitsu slapped the medicine out of her hand. "THE QUICKER YOU TAKE IT THE QUICKER YOU GET OUTTA HERE! QUIT BEING DIFFICULT!!! YOU DO THIS EVERYTIME!!!"

hesitantly, you stepped into the room. unfortunately, as you stepped in, the cup that was slapped out of aoi's hand made violent contact with your nose, causing your eyes to water

"ouch!" your outburst caused the screaming duo to look at you. "lady y/n," aoi ran to you, holding your face. "are you alright?!" you delicately held your nose, nodding slightly. "m-mhm...s'not too bad, don't worry. and i thought i said not to call me that..." she paid your last statement no mind as she turned to glare at the thunder breather. "zenitsu, you idiot! you hurt her!"

as the girls checked up on you, zenitsu felt like he was in a trance

you were the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on. your eyes seemed so gentle, no matter who or what you were looking at; he could stare into them all day. he continued to stare at you, only coming out of his trance once he saw you walking towards him.

"so, what's the issue–um, zenitsu, yes?" your voice was so gentle! even after he just launched a cup to your nose! oh my gosh, you're sitting on his bed! you're so close!

"i..." he paused before throwing his arms around you, burrying his face into your stomach and squeezing you tight. "PLEASE MARRY ME!!!"

huh? marriage?

aoi and the triplets tried to pry him off of you,"LET HER GO THIS INSTANT!" aoi, shouted. "stop this!" the triplets tried to reason."NO WAY! IF I LET HER GO I'LL DIE ALONE! IS THAT WHAT YOU ALL WANT?!?!

so...that's how you met

ever since that day, zenitsu asked for your hand in marriage everyday. you always laughed it off, "at our age? we're far too young for marriage, silly." until one day, you smiled, held his hand and responded with, "how about...we date each other for a while and see if marriage is in our future together 'nitsu."

zenitsu.exe. stopped working

"wait...REALLY?!?! YOU WANNA DATE ME?!?!" zenitsu's jaw couldn't seem to pick his jaw off the floor, gaping at your gentle smile. "of course i do...i-if you'll have me." of course he would! why wouldn't he?!

and that was the start of your beautiful relationship

no matter how many time you say it, however, he still asks for your hand in marriage.

oh, you just so happen to walk past him? "y/n, please marry me!" "sorry 'nitsu, it's too soon." you're hanging up blankets, on the clothes line? he's appearing beneath a blanket with a bouquet of flowers, "y/n, i kindly ask for your hand in marriage!" you stifled your giggle with your hand before cupping his face into your hands and kissing his flushed cheek. "m'sorry love, we're still too young."

later in the relationship, however, you began to catch zenitsu sitting on the floor, his attention intently focused on something in his lap. "hello, zenny." your voice startled him. "eek! oh, y/n-chan hi! what–uh–what brings you here?" your bottom lip jutted out slightly in confusion before trying to peek over his shoulder. "i..live here and...treat people? whatcha workin on?" he quickly turned around, hiding something behind his back. "NOTHING!"

0_0 = your face

"u-um...alright then..." this became a common occurrence, as it happened multiple times a day. anytime you'd ask what he was doing you got the same response, or he would just get up and run. leaving you confused and dumbfounded

until the day you finally got to see what he had been working on, and it melted your heart...

"you know," you started as you were wrapping bandages around the circumference of your boyfriend's head. "the other girls are skilled with this too. it doesn't always have to be me to patch you up, 'nitsu."

your statement may as well have gone in one ear and out the other. however, you couldn't stop the soft smile that etched across your face as you watched zenitsu subconsciously lean into your touch with his usual lovestruck smile.

"but then i get to spend more time with you, y/n-chan. besides," he nuzzled his cheek into your palm, causing you to laugh. "you're always gentle when you do it. aoi is too harsh!"

you lifted an eyebrow. "probably because you are a difficult patient."

"whAt?! i am not!"

you fondly shook your head, continuing to wrap his head in comfortable silence. as you finished bandaging him, you smiled announcing a cheerful "done!" you began to tidy up the bandages and ointments you had strewn on the bed, putting them away.

zenitsu watched you with tender eyes, fiddling with something under the blankets. he knows he's said it to many girls by now, but he truly feels like he could spend the rest of his life with you. he knows you're both young, but he believes he's old enough to know what he wants. however, he is also mindful of your wanting to wait until you're older. which is why...

"y/n-chan," he smiled at the gentle hum you gave in response. "i...i have something i want to give you."

you put the remaining bandages in a drawer before making your way back to the bed zenitsu was resting in, sitting next to him. you tilted your head, "what is it?"

zenitsu carefully pulled the object from beneath the blanket, bringing it into view. he held it out to you, urging you to take it. you looked down at it, carefully observing it.

a cup.

gingerly taking it from him, "zenny," you couldn't help but burst into laughter once you realized what it was. "is this the cup you hit me in the face with when we first met?"

"h-hey!" his face flushed in embarrassment. "don't think of it like that! to me...it's the very thing that made me lay eyes on your for the first time." he gestured to the cup, causing you to inspect it some more. "and it led to a lot of great moments with you..."

you nearly cried.

littered all around the cup, were small paintings. paintings of moments throughout your relationship. the time he launched this very cup into your nose, the first time you took care of him after a mission, the first date, even the time inosuke was chasing you and zenitsu carried you out of "harm's way." and in the mix of the small scenes were mini butterflies and lightning bolts.

honestly, the lines were pretty wobbly, and the brush work wasn't the best. but you didn't care about any of that. not in the slightest. he managed to capture some of the sweetest moments of your relationship on the very object that sparked your relationship.

without a doubt, this was the sweetest thing anyone has done for you.

you gently cupped zenitsu's face in your hands, pulling him closer to you and softly pressing a kiss to his lips. your kisses were always so soft and sweet, just like you, and they nearly made him faint(he actually did faint the first time you two kissed).

"nitsu," you pulled away, caressing his cheek with your thumb. "we should get married." a beat of silence passed.

"...HUH?!?! Y-Y-YOU WANT TO—?!?!"

he fainted.

you watched in disbelief as zenitsu fell back onto the soft bed, his cheeks slightly red, knocked out cold. with a delightful sigh and a shake of your head, you stood up, careful not to wake him.

"oh well," you pulled the blanket over him before planting a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"we can talk about it some more when you wake up."

[qveyr]

High Maintenance: A Spoiled Doll in a Man’s Arms

notes: gn! reader x shiu kong, fluff, heavy and vulgar profanities are used, grammatical errors might be seen, and the pictures used are from Pinterest. enjoy reading ;)

So pretty for him. Always pretty even when you’re sleeping. So pretty even when you’re doing nothing. Well, you do nil. But can you do something when he gives you a special treatment until you become rottenly spoiled? Hell, he pays for everything. Whether it’s for expensive wants to satisfy yourself, or the prices needed to pay before the deadline of it. And because of that, you only have one mode of existence: high maintenance.

Always expecting high qualities of all bullshits. But he can’t blame himself. He likes you to look expensively delicious. And it was true, you were naturally lavish and always wanting pretty things for your pretty self.

He is expensive. Matured. Attractive. You love him more than you think. You have such deep fondness for him. Deep attraction to him. You couldn’t care less if people hate you for your preference. You love older men, and it was proven by you, of course.

Your eyes are closed, quietly sleeping as Shiu Kong is waiting for you to rouse up. Your chest falls up and down rhythmically, appearing to be peaceful and soft as your body is curled up slightly in a comfortable position. However, your sleep was interrupted by a finger poking playfully at your waist, teasing you to wake up even early in the morning. It seems like Shiu is the first one to wake up, as he’s just waiting for you to open your eyes and see how gorgeous he is in the morning.

“Shiu, it’s still early in the morning…” You rose your head from his chest, sleepiness visible on your face. “What’s your problem, baby?”

“Morning, dollface,” his voice was deep like the Mariana Trench. Exaggerated, but to describe it perfectly, it was a few octaves lower, lower than usual. It’s languid and lazy just like his words, it rolls off his tongue easily and smoothly. “Goodness, I have no work today, remember? Let me worship you since I have all the time in the world currently, sweetheart,” his voice was a low murmur as he sets his large hand on your nape, his thumb gently brushing the back of your neck. “Agree with this, doll. Before I become sleepy and drift myself to sleep again.”

“Tch, it wasn’t necessary to poke me on the waist just to disrupt my beauty sleep, you big boy, tool, idiot, Mr. Man who is addicted to cigarettes—”

A lot of insults could have continued when Shiu suddenly pressed his lips towards yours to stop the dumb words coming from your pretty little mouth. Afterward, he used the pad of his thumb and placed it on your lips. Fucking early in the morning and you’re already insulting me as if I ain’t your man. Already lively to assault your boyfriend, huh? “Out with it, doll. Bullying is a crime, you know that?”

You removed the digit from your lips, a scowl painting your expression. “It’s not if I do it. You annoy me a lot, Shiu.” Despite the harsh comment that you replied, you eventually cupped his face with your small hands, a pout forming on your lips. The fuck? The mood swing is insane. For a second, you were just bullying him. But now? You’re acting like you really missed him.

Well, you really do.

“You have no work, right?”

“Indeed.” He stares at your face a little too long, probably because he missed admiring your features. It’s been a long time since he did that. It’s nothing special really, but there’s a hidden charm in the way he looks at you. Makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. “Then let’s date.” You requested.

“Going to deplete my money again?”

“Shiu, pamper me today.”

“Respectfully, doll.”

[venusxstars]

𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐄 ⸻ nsfw.

nagi seishiro x fem!reader

nagi just thinks that you feel so good. nothing else other than that matters.

keynotes ⸻ reader with implied sagging breasts. implied body insecurities. breast fondling / sucking. fingering. penetration.

venus’ note ⸻ boobs of all different shapes and sizes are beautiful. no one can fight me on this one.

YOUR BREATH COMES OUT SHARP and ragged as you feel Nagi’s soft lips connect lazily against your neck, tongue running in small and slow circles on the skin before he gently nips on it. Your place on his lap was a constant thing, after all, Nagi wasn’t one to put effort into hovering himself on top of you whilst going through the trouble of balancing himself with his two elbows. He voiced out his concerns repeatedly the last time you both tried before settling back to your usual positions—you sitting snug on his lap as he sits comfortably on the couch with his broad back leaning against the soft rest.

You squeal as he suddenly lifts up your shirt and you instinctively move back, pulling your shirt back down. It was an irrational concern, truly, to hold such insecurities over breasts that functioned normally. But you didn’t like the way the weighed down above your abdomen whenever you’d sit down nor could you seem to get used to the image of them without your bra lifting them up more ‘attractively’.

See, lookism has become more prevalent along the recent years with the constant increase of the usage of social media that wordlessly promoted unattainable beauty standards. Everyone had their own certain charm to themselves, but with every comment thoughtlessly uttered, apparently certain groups of people had a surplus amount of it. And that only fed onto the irrational thoughts on your mind.

“What’s the matter?” Your boyfriend furrows his brows in genuine confusion. His hand moved down to clutch onto the edge of your shirt, frowning a little at the way you pulled them down.

You scratch the back of your neck awkwardly, looking away. “Can I keep my shirt on?”

He tilts his head, dark and round eyes gazing into yours quizzically. He speaks bluntly. “Why? … I mean, it’s your choice, but I wanna touch ‘em.”

You chuckle at the way the words roll out of his mouth with a certain lack of care and genuine confusion, and perhaps, that nearly enough to convince you out of your irrational thoughts completely. You cup his large hand that was still holding onto the shirt you were wearing before explaining softly. “It’s a weird reason, but I just don’t like the way they look.”

He nods in agreement at your first statement, looking down at your clothed breasts shamelessly, muttering. “It is a weird reason. Dunno, but they look fine to me. Besides… don’t really care, just wanna touch ‘em…”

He dips his head down onto the crook of your neck once again, breathing in your natural scent before kissing your skin lazily again. He mumbles quietly against your neck, slowly snaking his large hands up to grope your clothed breasts. He squeezes them gently before running his thumbs down onto your nipples that were poking against the shirt.

You breathe out shakily, holding onto his bare shoulders as he plays with your tits mindlessly. You see the way he subtly pulls back a little, head dipped down to stare intently at the way his own large hands were fondling with your soft breasts—the weight on his palm nearly satisfying him, along with the way the fabric of your shirt forms creases every time he squeezed.

“Come on… let me see ‘em, please…” His hands move a bit more roughly and you gasp at the movements. “S'not enough…”

This time, you don’t stop him when he lifts his shirt up completely above your head and throws it onto the floor. You don’t know what he’s thinking as he stares down at your tits wordlessly for a few seconds, dark eyes pinned on it without moving away for a single second. Finally, he snaps out of his stupor with a soft whine when you smack the back of his head lightly.

“Seishiro…” You begin to grumble. “What are you—”

You gasp when he suddenly dips his head down, lifting your breasts up a little with his hands, before sucking on the tips of your puffy nipples. You shudder, unconsciously tightening your legs around his waist as you pull yourself closer to him.

He groans quietly against your breast, looking up at your contorted expressions. “Looks fine to me, baby… so pretty, even. Feels good in my hands and mouth… Wonder how good my cock would feel between your tits…”

He presses his lips all over the surface of your chest—soft moans tumbling out of his own lips as if his own ministrations were pleasurable for himself—alternating between each of your breast. He sucks on the skin, leaving soft red marks in its wake, and soon, your breasts is painted with a harmony of colors like a simple abstract painting of the picturesque lust.

Your bodies are both hot, and you can feel the wetness seeping out of your pussy through your thin panties, leaving a patch on your boyfriend’s gray sweatpants. He pauses his ministrations to dip his hand down against your heat, cupping your clothed pussy completely.

“Ah, fuck… it’s so wet, baby” He mumbles, cheeks and ears dusted a light shade of rosy red. “Got some on my pants. Let’s take ‘em off…”

You lift your hips up as he pulls your underwear down and throwing them onto the floor before making a move to take off his own sweatpants. Soon, you’re both bare for each other to see and admire. You rub the side of your arm a bit shyly at the exposure especially with the bright fluorescent lights of the living room glaring down over your figures. It shows every single part of yourselves—every crevice and color marking your skin.

Nagi slowly reaches up to touch the back of your neck and push you forward to capture his lips with yours. It’s soft and gentle, just like how kisses between the two of you were always shared—exploring every part of each other through tongues slowly slipping in.

You pull away breathlessly. “Want more, Sei…”

“Me too…” He mumbles, immediately moving his fingers down against your pussy again. He rubs slow circles with his middle and ring finger around your wet clit, keeping his eyes trained on your face to watch your expression contort, presenting varying feelings of the pleasure he was providing you. He feels the wetness on the pads of his fingers, pressing them a little more against the area before slowly easing a finger in. His cock hardens, pressing against his lower abdomen as he hears your drawn-out moan dragging out of your parted lips.

“Got me so hard with those sounds, baby… let me hear some more…” He groans out softly, pumping his middle finger inside your pussy, searching for your g-spot. He moves in a little deeper, touching the bundle of nerves inside of you and rubbing it a little with the pad of his finger. He watches you jolt on top of him before deciding to do the same movement twice. Next, he pulls his finger back slowly, experimentally bumping the pad of his finger against the spot.

You were in cloud nine at his seemingly mindless and entertained movements, feeling every part of his finger with your walls clamping down on it tightly. Warmth spreads around under your belly and you can feel it building up with each passing second. You whine when he pulls his finger out again, watching him pump his cock slowly with his head thrown back against the back rest of the couch.

“W-Wait just a second, baby…” He gasps a little, pumping his cock that was oozing with pre-cum. It drips down on the length of his cock and he sighs before aligning the tip against your entrance. “Hurts so much— wanna be inside you so bad…”

He pushes his cock in and you both simultaneously let out a moan. It was thick inside of you and you can feel every single crevice and vein with your gummy walls clamping down on it as he slowly helps you ease down on his cock. His long fingers were digging down against your hips, pulling you down breathlessly until he’s completely sheathed inside of you.

You both take a short pause as you accommodate his length inside of you.

“You okay?” He asks a little breathlessly, chest rising and falling deeply. You can see him grind his teeth a little.

You nod after a while before slowly lifting your hips up again and dropping it with the same pace down on his cock. You furrow your brows, biting your lip at the pleasure that seemed to swarm throughout your lower body.

“H-Help…” You request as your thighs burned slightly at the continuous movements you were making. Obediently, he places his hands onto your ass, helping you lift and drop your hips against his.

“F-Fuck, s’good, baby…” He moans, watching the way you repeatedly bouncing on his dick. He lifts his gaze up and groans this time at the way your tits bounced along with the movements of your whole body. He moves his head forward, burying his face between the valley of your breasts, loving how the warmth engulfed his skin comfortingly. “Love your tits so much…”

He lifts and drops your hips a little faster, digging his fingers down on your ass more that it seemed to be leaving marks behind. His clouded mind and pleasure-filled body taking control of the pace each time he feels your soft yet tight walls squeeze and pulse around him deliciously.

“S-Sei!” You gasp, bouncing on his cock harder and following along with his wordless command.

“H-Huh? F-Fuck… yes, baby?” He bites his bottom lip hard, leaving it swollen and pink before he starts babbling between your bouncing chest. “Love having you fuck yourself on my dick like this… Wanna see you cum around my— c-cock, shiiit…”

He throws his head back, forcibly picking up the pace as he lifts and drops your hips on his cock before he then begins to meet your movements by thrusting his own hips up. The sound of skin-slapping fills the area along with the breathy moans leaving both of your lips.

“S’too fast, S-Sei— a-ah!” You gasp, mouth hanging open and eyes rolling back.

“Looks so f-fucked out, baby—” He groans out, thrusting his hips up faster and deeper inside of you as you meet his hips—the impact leaving your clit hard and aching as it slaps against his skin, sending waves of sharp delicious heat up and around your core.

“G-Gonna… gonna cum!” You moan, digging your nails against his shoulder as you suddenly twitch, pussy pulsing and walls clamping down hard around his cock. Your mind blanks when you reach your climax and you shudder as your boyfriend continues to move.

“S-Shit, got so tight… W-Wanna cum too—“ He buries his cock deep one last time before it twitches, then pulling out to shoot his milky white cum on your breasts. “H-Haah—”

You both pant loudly at the exertion then you drop your head down against his shoulder, laying against him limply and tiredly. You can hear his heart beat even with your ears up from where you were and you were certain that he could hear yours too.

“Thanks, Sei” You blurt out quietly.

“For what?” His words come out a little breathlessly.

“For everything”

You can feel him tilt his head and you chuckle when you hear him utter his response cluelessly.

“Don’t really know why you’re thanking me, but… no problem, I guess…”

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Better Of Two Evils

Summary: After Damian’s flirty nature comes to life, you’re left to deal with its aftermath with no other than the Demon King and his Human vessel.

Pairings: Bálor x F!Reader x Finn

Warnings: +18, smut, slight heresy, mentions of worship, p in v, oral (f receiving), curse words, slight dom x sub.

A/N: This is my birthday gift for the amazing @theworldofotps , she wanted a sequel to Salome so I hope you like it, babe. I wish you nothing but the best in your new journey and I hope it’s filled with all good things one can have in life! I love you so much, thank you for being my friend, and for being one of the most amazing people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet in my life. You truly deserve the world and I hope you have an amazing day love ya.

Tags: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @mjfass , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @ripleyswhore

Of Damian’s flirty nature, you were already aware of, not only because of Finn’s endless warnings but also because you’ve witnessed the Puerto Rican man’s charm over women a handful of times now.

Damian flirts with everyone, literally everyone. No matter the age, gender, or ethnicity, he always found a way to captivate whomever he interacted with. And it was no different with you.

“Wow, mami” Damian whistled when you entered through the club’s back door. “You’re gonna give a man a heart attack”.

Your outfit was less than impressive, since it was a low night at the club you decided for a more casual look: a navy blue velvet tracksuit, along with a pair of black All Stars summed up your outfit for the night.

“Always a charmer, huh?” You chuckled, unaware that Finn was approaching you from behind.

“What can I say?” Damian smirked “A beautiful woman has the power to bring out the best in me”

“And your best is to be an ultimate flirt?” You narrowed your eyes playfully

“When it comes to you, yeah” the amused wide grin on Damian’s face was more than enough to make you giggle.

“You’re a menace, sir”

“Sir?” His eyes widened in surprise, not wasting the opportunity to tease you further. “Mami, if you’re gonna start calling me that then we just might have to go upstairs right now” Damian winked at you with a smirk plastered on his lips. “I’ll even rent the VIP room, just for you”.

Now you have to laugh. A little more than you should’ve, but who could blame you? The guy had great timing and impeccable humor.

“Wow, how could I say no to that” Your nonchalant tone left no room for doubt that you took his teasing in an amicable way, similar to two siblings poking fun at each other, you had no intentions of taking this to a more intimate level, and neither did Damian. It was all lighthearted. Everyone knew that, everyone could see that, except them. To them, this suddenly became a pissing contest, a dispute, a challenge. One they never lost and didn’t intend to lose.

“The shipping of new furniture arrived this morning, Priest”. The doubled voice resonated from your lover’s body, the tenor contrasting with the bass as both voices complimented each other with each word. “Go unpack it…now”.

“Isn’t that Dominik’s j-“

“I said NOW!” The bass voice screamed, settling its dominance. Finn’s eyes began to shift colors. One remained blue as the other turned a fierce shade of orange-red.

“Ok, Boss” Damian set his hands up as a sign of submission. “Chill out”.

Before Damian could even blink, Finn stood in front of him. His face got so close to Damian’s that they almost seemed the same height.

“If you ever dare to tell me to ‘chill out’ again, those will be your last words in this pitiful earth before you become hellhound’s breakfast!” The demon left no room for debate. Bálor learned how to tolerate humans after being in Finn’s body for over 40 years, that didn’t mean he liked them or that he wouldn’t kill one for fun. The only human Bálor seemed to truly like was you, but that could easily change if his pride is on the line.

“Bálor, he was just-“

“Silence!” He growled at you, voice bubbling with hatred, “If you dare to speak one word to defend him, little girl, you’ll know a side of me that you’ll wish you’d never met!” His fiery gaze fixed on you as he pointed to Finn’s room. “Go and wait for us there, and don’t make me repeat myself!”.

Reluctantly, you walked up the stairs, mouthing “I’m sorry” to Damian as you reached the top.

If there was a god, you were praying to him now, silently begging him not to let Bálor hurt Damian just because of a lighthearted teasing.

“He doesn’t listen to anyone’s prayers, why would he listen to yours?” Bálor’s voice rumbled in your ear, quickly making you turn around to face him at the foot of the bed.

“Do you think you’re that special, pet?”

Oh, he was mad.

At first, when you met him, Bálor called you “pet”, it was a deprecating term at the time, filled with disdain. But after a while, you became “little girl” when he was in a good mood, “my pet” when he was annoyed with you, and “pet” when he was mad at you.

“Are you God's precious little thing? That’s why you think He’ll hear you, huh?” When only silence answered him, Bálor growled loudly “Answer me!”

“No-“ Your voice was cut off by the sudden pressure of Finn’s hand amplified by Bálor’s strength around your neck.

“Good. Because HE won’t hear you! You belong to a demon and a human, the only god you should ever pray for is ME! I’m the only one who’ll hear you, and when you do pray, make sure to keep your eyes down on the earth where I am, because I’m not up in the sky, pet. Your help won’t come from up there, so stop searching in the clouds!” His hand abruptly left your neck, causing you to give two steps back due to the lack of force around your throat.

“Kneel”

Your brows furrowed at his statement, trying to understand the reason for that order.

“You were praying, weren’t you? Humans usually do that on their knees, no?! So go on, pet, kneel at your god’s feet and pray”.

“Bálor, please, let me-“

“I.said.kneel.and.pray”

Bálor pushed you down on the floor, making your knees hit the black hardwood floor with a thump. A small cry escaped your lips, your watery eyes looked up to stare at him, who had now taken full control of Finn’s body. His thick veins were black, red irises, canines sharp as razors, hair jet black, and nails tainted black at the edge.

You hoped to every sacred being that your next move wouldn’t anger him even more, but you remember when Finn once told you “Bálor is like an ice cube, cover him with some warmth and you’ll watch him melt”.

“Can I please touch you?” You asked with a meek voice, but he didn’t answer. You took this as a silent green light and pressed your palms against his torso.

“I didn’t mean to enrage you, my lord, I’m deeply sorry”. The correct word to use would be ‘upset’ instead of ‘enrage’, but Bálor didn’t deal with feelings and vulnerability well so you knew how to choose your words wisely by now.

“But trust me when I say that there was no ill intention on my part nor from Damian” You felt his abs harden at the mention of the name, the color of Bálor’s eyes began to dance like the most aggressive fire and your hands soon began to travel up and down his stomach, using touch to soothe his raw emotions.

“You’re the only one for me. You and Finn are the only men I’ll ever want, the only men I’ll ever need. I don’t want anyone else” Your hands began to travel down his abs, reaching his v-line that you traced with your nails. “Only you can satisfy me, only you can drive me insane with just a look”.

Your hands now stopped at his black jeans, one hand began massaging his crotch as the other caressed his lower belly - the most sensitive part of Bálor. “Only you can make me ache for you for days on end, only you know how to make me cum in mere seconds, only you can make me so hungry for your touch that I feel like I’m about to lose my mind if I don’t have you”.

“I don’t like when you respond to the flirtation of other men, pet”

“Damian flirts even with the walls, sir. He flirted with you, countless times” You tried to reason, feeling his cock begin to harden underneath the black jeans.

Bálor let out a small huff as you continued “Am I lying though? You know he did, with both you and Finn. And I always laughed at it because I knew there was no ill intention behind it. In the same way, there was none between him and me. You know that” You leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss on his clothed erection, “You’re the only one for me, my king”.

“On the bed” Bálor lowly hummed, cupping his hard cock with his palm.

You felt someone pushing you onto the bed from behind, panic covered your features until you saw who it was.

“You’re gonna join us?” Your soft smile pressed against the bare skin of his abs. His hands gathered your hair, softly pulling your head down to rest on the mattress.

His hand pulled the zipper of your jacket down, humming in approval at the sight of your bare breast.

“Came prepared I see” Finn grinned, head leaning down to close his warm mouth around your nipple.

“My good little pet” Bálor spoke from your right, the bed dipped as he knelt on the mattress. His hand pressed your cheeks together, causing your lips to open in a partial pout. “Let’s see how much you can handle it” He chuckled, grabbing you by the hair to quickly turn you around to lay on your stomach.

Your vision was blurred, your voice hoarse from so much screaming and cursing. Two became one, same body, same face, different details. One was sweet and sensual, the other was rough and raw. They were the perfect match, both drove you crazy in their way. The sun and the moon, night and day, dark and light, good and evil, residing within the same man, one born in hell, the other, heaven sent. Either way, you loved the duality, loved the experience, and most importantly, loved them.

“Shit, shit, shit” You whispered in a hurry as Bálor rapidly moved behind you, his cock slipped in and out with such ease that made you wonder how long you could take this.

In the meantime, Finn watched you, his hand lazily stroking his cock beside you in bed, admiring every little frown, every gasp, every moan, every plea. Your eyes instantly closed when Bálor hit your sweet spot, but they instantly reopened at the prickling feeling on your cheek.

“I didn’t say you could stop looking at him!” Bálor stated, landing another burning slap against your cheek, “Don’t you dare close those beautiful eyes, my pet”.

Finn smirked, leaning forward, placing his flattened tongue against the burning skin of your cheek. He gave a few kitten licks until the skin lost its vibrant reddish color, “You taste so good”, he licked again, only changing the route of his tongue.

Finn danced the tip of his tongue across your skin, traveling down your belly, stopping right above your mound. Bálor grinned at the sight, pulling your leg to rest on his shoulder.

“Oh my fucking god” You moaned loudly, feeling the tip of Finn’s tongue circling your clit as Bálor’s cock grew harder inside you. “I’m gonna die, I can’t take it”.

“Of course you can, love” Finn’s muffled voice echoed between your legs.

“Not only you can but you will, my precious pet” Bálor snarled in your ear “Because we won’t be done with you until the sun rises”.

[no-where-new-hero]

omg I need your thoughts on the terminally o line author culture bc ngl it makes my eye TWITCH, there are authors I deliberately avoid even tho I've heard their stuff is good bc they're like that 🙈

HHHHH oh good lord, okay, from how I see it, there are two angles on this, both aggravating and sad: the official decree one and the spontaneous ecosystem one.

The officious one is that the nature of publishing nowadays demands an author have an online presence. You need Twitter/X. You need to let every potential reader know your book is coming out. You need engagement through reviews and pre-orders incentives (if you buy now you’ll get a special keychain!!) and word of mouth assurances from your peers that yes your book is as cool as you say it is. You need a newsletter with links (more buying! more voting on lists that are simply popularity contests!) and promises you’re still working on the next thing, don’t forget about me in the morass of everyone else doing the same thing. You need an Instagram and TikTok now to post pretty pictures and videos because one or two authors made it big off this kind of promotion and now everyone thinks it’s the ticket to the bestseller list (sadly, it seems to be working). You need an OnlyFans (a joke but I do recall a twt spat that was a joke/not joke about how rupi kaur will always be more beautiful than her critics and people who took issue with the conflation of beauty with talent). At the end of all this, you’re basically an influencer, a content creator creating content for the content you should be focusing on creating, the finished novel. And the novel itself seems to be disappearing behind the masks used to promote it (fanfic-style tropes, moodboards, playlists, memes) until I now no longer trust the book that I’ll pick up to have any resemblance to the enticements that brought me here. I’ve seen an author or two complain about the stress all this self-promotion generates, but it’s become such an entrenched part of the industry, I think people just accept it. And thus spend too much time online hoping that if they tweet just a little more, produce just one more reel, maybe that’ll be the difference between a sale and no sale.

The other side of this, distinct but obviously connected, is the ecosystem created by this panic of being perpetually visible coupled with the fact that so many of the new authors came of age during the rise of internet fandom culture. That opinionated community mindset that blurs the line between anonymity and friendship is the lens they bring to their own work. I mean, it makes sense I suppose—if you love yelling about characters and words, why wouldn’t you do that once you start to produce your own? This really came home to me hearing about that reviewbombgate “scandal” and how people involved were in reylo circles and that was used to provide receipts. You’re interacting with your readers and peers about your intimate work but they are also all strangers. They will not always give you the benefit of the doubt, and now—as opposed to the past when maybe the worst that could happen was a handful of bad reviews in newspapers—you will either be tagged in hate reviews, sub-tweeted, explicitly called out, demanded to atone for your sins. It’s no longer the morality of consumption but the morality of production. Of course, the easy answer is just log-off, touch some grass. But that can work only when you and everyone else are separated by anonymous accounts or when you have no platform to maintain. As an author trying to make your livelihood from this, suddenly it’s do or die. We’re in a strange moment of authorship bringing the Internet’s echo-chamber and claustrophobic into the real world (this is a lie: publishing now is no longer the real world. But it looks like it) and thus you can kind of no longer escape things.

Will the average reader who isn’t aware of all these machinations care about reviewbombgate? Would a reader browsing at Target think about the controversies around Lightlark? Very likely not. But the impression I’m getting more and more is that the average reader isn’t the one buying all the books. Or shall we say—a bestseller’s status relies on bookstore stock. Bookstore stock is only huge when they know a book will be a good investment. They’ll only know a book is a good investment if it and its author has street cred based on booktokkers, bookstagram, bloggers and reviewers (have you noticed how many books out these last maybe 1-3 years have these kinds of accounts thanked in the acknowledgments? Yeah), and THESE are also chronically online people who will Know. And decide the cast of fate.

Honestly, @batrachised, I see why you avoid these kinds of writers, though I wonder how long it’ll be before the disease becomes epidemic.

[juuuulez]

📰 | part thirteen: capulet.

info: Carl Grimes x Saviour! Reader, no pronouns/no use of (y/n), FINAL CHAPTER, canon divergence (i rewrote the ‘wrath’ episode), non-descriptive violence, blood.

summary: The Saviour-Alexandria war comes to a close in one, final battle.

guys i just wanted to say thank you all SO MUCH for loving this story, because it’s truly my favourite thing i’ve ever written….these two mean the world to me and i’m so glad everyone understands my vision

i actually loved writing this chapter, and i think the ending is really appropriate to the themes and nature of their relationship

i’ll publish an epilogue next, which will be the 6-year timeskip, and just wrap things up nicely so you know what the future held for carl and reader :,)

-> masterlist <-

Truthfully, you were a little nervous. It had taken a week for these negotiations to settle, and you were worried as to what state the Saviours were in. You hoped that Negan was doing alright. Strangely enough, you’d never been away from him for this long, not since getting stuck together all those years ago.

A meeting spot was decided, though everyone was still wary. You’d been cuffed again for safety, and carefully transported alongside Rick, Carl and Michonne. They kept a close eye on you, wanting to ensure that nothing went haywire at the last minute.

It was a large clearing, a small grassy hill with an oak tree. Hanging from a branch was a beautiful stained glass panel, the intricate design having become slightly rusty with time and lack of care.

As you stepped from the car, the adults left your side, trusting you in Carl’s watch for now. He held onto your forearm, walking a few paces behind everyone else, allowing you to gain your bearings.

But something didn’t feel right.

“Carl,” You whispered, garnering his attention. “I don’t.. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

There was a look of worry on your face, one that made Carl’s heart break a little, wanting to assure you that everything is okay, though he didn’t know if that was true. He knew how risky this plan was: a plan that he couldn’t tell you, for you’d absolutely loose it.

“It’ll be okay.” He ends up saying, giving you a small squeeze and continuing to usher you forward.

It wouldn’t. Not for the Saviours, at least.

Fortunately for them, Eugene was still on their side. He’d expressed how the Saviours intended on sabotaging the deal, in hopes of taking power and taking you. This awareness led Eugene to rig the bullets with an explosive mechanism.

Carl had been uncomfortable to hear it at first, but knew that it was necessary in defending their stance. He couldn’t tell you. There wouldn’t be a single universe in which you’d hear him out, and see their side of the argument.

Yet, he understood. If someone was threatening his father’s life, he’d react similarly. So, Carl kept his mouth shut.

As you approached the hill, the Saviours became visible, and it seemed Negan had certainly brought backup. You could identify a few of them as Simon’s men, and wondered how loyal they’d been since his death. Or… murder, you suppose.

The more you focused, the more you realised the sheer amount of guns they’d brought. All standing defensively, weapons at the ready. It started to settle in, and you remembered your long history with the Saviours. They didn’t do things peacefully. They didn’t take deals, there was no such thing as compromise.

“Carl, Carl, I’m serious,” You urged him, suddenly stopping in your spot, causing Carl to stop with you. “This isn’t right. They’re gonna fire, I know they are. We have to—“

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Carl interrupted, trying to calm you. “Trust me, okay? I know. And it’s alright.”

Something about that sent off an alarm in your head, a look of confusion crossing your face. You stared at Carl, eyes darting back to the others, then to him.

“You know?” You repeat, “What do you mean? Carl, they’re gonna shoot you, shoot everyone here. This is bad.”

The more you spoke, the more you seemed to panic, so Carl tried to quiet your tangent with a hand over your mouth. It worked, and had this been another situation, you would have laughed at the irony.

His hand doesn’t move, looking subtly nervous despite trying to calm you down. “You need to listen to me, okay? Just breathe, and—“

Whatever he was suggesting doesn’t matter, as suddenly there is crackling in the distance, loud pops as the Saviours attempt to discharge their weapons. Several guns break down into pieces, flames overtaking their inner workings as the mechanisms shut down and killing several of their owners. Those who survived were injured, their hands crippled and burnt.

You’d cover your ears to protect from the noise, if not for the handcuffs, but Carl seems to have a similar idea. He’s looking around, looking for something, before he pulls you down against the grassy hill, trying to duck and shield your body from something unknown.

“Carl!” You yell over the gunfire, “What the fuck is happening!”

Finally identifying a group of Oceansiders in the distance, Carl cups his hand over your ear, the one uninjured and still intact. You try to squirm away, but to no avail, confused and freaking out, unsure whether his hold was supposed to be comforting or threatening.

As you realised what was happening, it was too late to do anything. Molotov cocktails were used to alight the remaining of Negan’s army, the alcohol splashing at their feet and soaking into the grassy hill, spreading with reckless abandon.

“No! You asshole!” You scream, jerking your head away from Carl and trying to find your bearings. But being handcuffed, and your current lack of balance since the injury, you just end up falling back against the dirt.

“Hey! Listen to me,” Carl interrupts your protests sternly. He clasps his hands on either side of your face, keeping you still despite your attempts at moving away. “It’s over, okay? This is it. It’s done.”

You’re panting, looking practically feral, sweat beading on your brow and skin. Dirt is in your hair, stuck to your bandage, marred over the flannel you still wear. Carl’s flannel. Instinctively, you want to bite his hands, to do anything to get away.

But after everything, you know better. There’s nothing you could do to change this. Whether it be him, or you, someone had to face the music. Someone had to loose.

“Uncuff me.” You demand, chest rising heavily with each breath you suck in, still lying flat against the grass while Carl leans over your form.

He shakes his head, “I can’t do that. Not until we get back to Alexandria. You’ll get a house, your own place, and—“

You interrupt him with a scream, “Uncuff me!”

Though your pleas don’t work, Carl pulls your body up against him, trying to get you into a seated position. If you had control, you’d probably be able to hold yourself up, yet you remain helpless to his control.

“I don’t have the key.” He finally reveals, holding you up by your arms, unconsciously rubbing away some of the dirt that’s stuck there. “Even if I did, we have to wait, alright? I’m on your side, I promise.”

You’re on the brink of agreeing, of finally calming yourself, of accepting that this really is the end. Even your head begins to nod, a small motion, still looking a little breathless and confused.

Meanwhile, the battle isn’t entirely over. The remaining Saviours had seemingly submitted, abandoning any semblance of control under the promise that they would live, if they left for good.

You catch the end of that speech, confusion flooding your featured as they’re commanded to leave. The pair of you still sit in the grass, away from the main commotion.

Carl must have similarly picked up on the sudden shift in tension, his mind finally catching up with everything happening.

The realisation clicks instantly: if the Saviours are disbanding, they had no leader.

At the same time, you’re trying to stand once more. “No, no! Let go of me!” You scream, jerking yourself away from Carl even when he tries to help you up. You only make it a few steps before lack of coordination hits, and despite your hostility, Carl wraps his arms around you in assistance.

Carefully, he helps you over the hill, standing right on the crest. From here, the two of you can see everything. His breath caught in his chest as he realised that Rick had been shot, though he stalled himself from doing anything, understanding there was a much more dire situation at hand.

Everyone stood in awe as Negan essentially choked on his own blood, the liquid seeping from a slice in this throat, no doubt a critical wound. Rick stood above him, hands soaked red, dropping the shard of glass he’d used as a weapon.

It felt like there was no more air in your chest. Like you’d been thrown into space, the oxygen sucked from your form. You stood there dumbly, watching, mouth open but nothing came out. Next to you, Carl was saying something, but you couldn’t hear him.

You couldn’t hear when Rick ordered for Negan to be saved.

Nor could you hear Maggie’s shrill screams, begging and accusing Rick of betraying her.

Everything sort of just stopped moving. All of the noise had stopped, leaving this deafening silence and overwhelming feeling of pure emptiness.

Whatever happened after that didn’t sink in. Somebody had spoken to you, but you weren’t listening, nor did you have any clue where they’d taken Negan. Or where they’d take you. It was likely that you were told, but it didn’t stick.

The entire time, Carl was by your side. After getting into the car, he slid in next to you, a small metal ringlet in his hands. He unlocked the handcuffs from behind you, however had been instructed to cuff you once more from the front, shooting you a sympathetic look as he did so. At least now, he could hold your hand, which he did for the whole trip.

It was mildly comforting, some place in the back of your mind appreciating the gesture, despite the numbness that had worked itself into every corner of your body.

Eventually, you’d arrived at Alexandria. They took you towards the back of the community, to a house standing far from the others. It had been emptied of any objects that could be deemed weaponry, and was fairly bare-bones, but contained the minimum for survival. It was the first time you noticed Carl wasn’t around, a notion that allowed your senses to return slightly, offput by the sudden seclusion.

You allowed yourself to explore the area, opening each drawer only to find them all empty. The windows were barred, the door locked, leaving the house to feel more like a prison than a home.

Unsure what to do, you sat down on the couch, facing the door. It was comfortable. You poked at the fabric with your fingertips, trying to gain your bearings and come back to a place of consciousness, but everything still felt fuzzy and far away. Like you just couldn’t reach reality.

Hours past, though you weren’t too focused on the time. The only way of telling was when the sun had lowered, shadows being cast through the partially obscured windows. You hadn’t turned the light on earlier, causing the room to just become darker and darker, as you had no intention of getting up.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the door unlocked with a distinct click, before creaking open. You hoped that Negan would walk in, that he’d be alright and he’d hug you and say you’re going back to the Sanctuary. Together. But that was wishful thinking.

Though when Carl entered the house, you didn’t have the energy to be angry. You probably should have been.

“It’s dark, isn’t it?” He comments, having instantly spotted you sitting on the couch. When he doesn’t get a reply, Carl knows that small-talk won’t cut it, that he’s messed up.

So, he comes over, sitting next to you on the couch. In another life, you would have probably punched him. Screamed and accused him of lying to you. But you couldn’t be that person anymore.

When he wraps an arm around your side, you don’t protest, allowing Carl to pull you against him. You’ve finally begun to realise just how tired you are, as you rest your head down on his shoulder, tucked nicely into his side.

“He’ll live,” Carl whispers, “And they’re gonna keep him in a cell. I dunno how long… but probably a long time.”

You give a small nod, just to acknowledge that you’re listening. It makes sense. As long as Negan was alright, that they’d help him get better, then you could deal with the rest later.

“Can I see him?” You ask, voice coming out a quiet whisper. They’re the first words you’ve uttered since everything went down.

Carl feels guilty for his answer. He wasn’t even supposed to be here, with you. “No. Not for a while. Someone’s gonna come here, live in this house, just to keep an eye on you,” He has to swallow to clear his throat, “And.. it’s gonna be weird, I know, but… you’re here, and that’s all that matters.”

There’s little protesting you can do, not in this state. The shock still hasn’t fully worn off, Carl knows this, so he tries to move away from the heavy conversation.

He shifts on the couch, laying down and pulling you with him. You settle there easily, head resting over his chest, though he’s wary of not putting any pressure on your injury.

“We should get you something to eat.” He suggests quietly, brushing back some hair so he can see your face.

You shake your head, not having much of an appetite anymore. “Can we just stay here?” You whispered, lifting your head slightly to look at him.

Carl feels himself getting choked up again. He doesn’t quite know why, as he’s glad that this is over, that Negan will be confined to a cell, unable to harm anyone. This was the best-case scenario for his community.

But he knows, in another life, this could have ended badly. That he shouldn’t have been so lucky as to survive. The idea hurts, a deep ache in his chest, though he tries to keep the emotion out of his face.

“I’m just glad that I’ve got you.” Carl ends up whispering, the words slightly vague and confusing, but they mean everything they need to mean.

For Carl does, quite literally, have you in his arms. It didn’t matter where your relationship stood, or all your differences, for he had you.

You seem to realise this, a smile finally making its way onto your face. “Dork.” You mumble, the slight jab helping Carl to smile as well.

That numbness fades, as you lift yourself up a little, hovering over his body as your lips connect in a kiss. It’s the first one since weeks ago, after your fight in the alleyway.

This time, it’s softer, and Carl places one hand on your hip and the other to the back of your neck. Your breathing slows to match his own, lips moving together in an almost tired manner whilst your fingertips stroke the sides of his face.

Tomorrow will likely be difficult, as will the next day, and the next. But right now, things felt alright.

That night, you fell asleep on top of Carl, the pair of you tangled on the couch. You’d wake up to his voice in your ear and lips against your cheek, and though neither of you knew it then, you’d spend many, many more mornings together.

Eventually, the noise would fade, and you’d find some sense of peace in Alexandria with Carl. Years from then, you’d even help Negan find his peace, too.

Life would never be easy, but it certainly felt a little better with each day. That was enough.

[mountttmase]

Safe Place

Note - before reading please click here so you can introduce yourself to Nala 🐶 I hope you enjoy and I’d really love it if you could leave me some feedback 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 3.6k

Warnings - fluff and smut

‘You sure you’ve got hold of her Ollie?’ You asked, watching as your dog Nala pulled on the lead. She was still just a puppy, albeit a large one, and Ollie was pretty big for an eight year old but you were still trying to train Nala to come back at the sound of her name and you didn’t need her running off and getting lost.

‘I got her’ he told you, walking a few steps in front of you so he could try and catch up with Tilly who was currently just ahead on her trike seeing how fast she could go, leaving you and Mason to walk hand in hand just behind them.

Family dog walks were a new thing for the five of you, but you made sure at least once a week to go out to the local nature park for a long walk and some family time. Thankfully the kids seemed to love it and it did Mason some good to get out with you all for some fresh air to clear his head.

‘Look at this I took in the car’ he suddenly mumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket and shoving the screen in your face.

It was a video of Tilly in her car seat, Nala laying next to her with her head on Tilly’s lap and your heart gave a squeeze as you watched her tiny hand scratch over Nala’s head in a comforting way.

‘Ohhh, that’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen’ you cried, dropping your bottom lip as you looked up to Mason and his cheeky smile. ‘They’re gonna be best friends I know it’

‘It’s so sweet isn’t it?’ he laughed, pulling you in front of him gently so he could wrap his arms around your waist as you walked. It was a little bit awkward at first but you got into the rhythm of it and soon enough his lips were pressing soft kisses to your temple. ‘I really want another one’ he told you softly, causing your face to a scrunch up in confusion.

‘Another dog? We’ve only just got Nala and as cute as she is she’s a lot of work’

‘Not a dog, you plum’ he laughed, squeezing you a little tighter and nestling his nose into your hair. ‘A baby’

You stopped in your tracks, body freezing at his words before you looked up at him like he’d gone mad. ‘A baby? Seriously Mase, what the hell?’ You laughed.

‘Look at them’ he told you, nodding forward to Ollie and Tilly who were just up ahead and you felt your heart thump as you watched them laugh and play with Nala together. ‘I know I’m biased but I think we make the most beautiful babies’

‘We do’ you giggled, letting him push you forward so you’d start walking again and you couldn’t ignore the way you shivered when he placed his hands flat against your tummy.

‘And you know I think you’re sexy as hell when you’re pregnant. Think of all the sex we get to have too’ he teased, trying to convince you but it wasn’t like the pair of you weren’t having sex often. If anything you were surprised at how you could still barely keep your hands off of each other even after all this time. ‘I just miss looking after a little one you know? One at the lads in the fitness team has just had a baby and it made me want another one. Plus Tilly starts school soon and Ollie is basically a man now’ he joked, squeezing your sides as the pair of you laughed. ‘But you know I’d never force you. It’s your body and if it’s too much I get it’ he reassured you. ‘I just got a bit broody in the back of the car and thought I’d mention it’

It’s not that you didn’t want another baby, agreeing with him that you missed having a little one around to watch grow and he was right. With Tilly off to school soon it’s not like you wouldn’t have the time and as each second passed you were seeming becoming more convinced.

‘Not not to lay it on thick or anything but when I put Tilly to bed the other night she was asking when the new baby was coming’

‘What?’ You laughed, looking over at her peddling as fast as her little legs would take her and you couldn’t help but smile.

‘Ollie told her there’s supposed to be a baby every four years. Now she’s four she’s asking when the next ones coming so she can pick out some toys for them’ he told you softly, feeling tears spring in your eyes at how silly and adorable they were.

‘Nala, come on’ you suddenly heard, looking up to see Ollie pulling on her lead as she laid on the path. Clearly she was fed up of walking now so with a quick kiss to your cheek, Mason ran up ahead to lift her from the ground to carry her for a little bit. You watched with a smile as he placed kisses all over her head and she licked his cheek. ‘Come on Mummy’ Ollie called, holding his hand out for you to take and you smiled before hurrying up to grab it.

You loved days like this. Everything felt so wholesome and perfect. Your two beautiful babies laughing and having fun whilst the love of your life played with your new fur baby. It was enough to get you emotional but you held it together for the rest of the walk. Nala finally found her walking legs again towards the end, chasing after Tilly on her trike as Ollie made sure they were safe and you felt your whole body feel warm.

‘Mase?’ You called quietly, griping his bicep as you linked your arms together. ‘I’ve been thinking’

‘Oh yeah? What’s up?’

‘I think I might like a other one too’ you whispered, looking up at him with an excited smile that he mirrored before lifting you up by your thighs so he could spin you around.

‘Really? You really want one?’

‘I don’t see the harm in trying’ you laughed before he kissed you heavily.

‘Thank you, baby. Honestly I can’t tell you how this means to me’ he laughed, holding you as tight as he could. ‘Even if it doesn’t happen just… I love you so much’ he told you, his glossy eyes touching your heart and you left a soft kiss on his forehead before connecting your lips again.

After the park you had a nail appointment, Mason promising he’d have dinner and everything sorted by the time you got home yet when you did, you walked into a suspiciously quiet house. You called Masons name as you walk the through, finding him in the kitchen stirring away yet Nala wasn’t in her bed and the kids were nowhere to be seen.

‘What’s going on? Where is everyone?’ You asked, but you should of know from his cheeky smile that he was up to something. ‘What did you do?’

‘Nothing’ he laughed, his arms in the air in mock surrender before making grabby hands in your direction. You gave in instantly, walking round to his side where he pulled you into his arms and dropped a kiss on your forehead. ‘I told Lewis we had a last minute dinner event we’ve had to go to so he’s taken Nala and the kids for the night’

‘Mason’ you laughed, squeezing his sides as you looked up to his cheeky smile. ‘You don’t hang about do you?’

‘Well I was thinking I can’t remember the last time we were alone for a bit’ he laughed, his hands snaking lower so he could pinch your bum lightly. ‘And you know me, I like to start getting prepared early. No point hanging about’ he winked before leaning down to press his lips against yours. ‘Dinner won’t be for a little while. Why don’t you go have a shower and get changed?’ He offered quietly so you agreed and scurried off. Taking a quick shower before rifling through your underwear drawer.

It had been a while since you’d looked in here, not thinking about what your underwear looked like for the longest time but thankfully Mason seemed to love your granny pants so you didn’t feel the need to squeeze into these anymore.

Your fished out your old favourite set, black and laced with most of it being made up of mesh that you could see right through and you remembered feeling incredible in it. Now however you weren’t sure if you liked the look of the person staring back at you. Your boobs only just about contained as they spilled from the top, the underwear not sitting how it used to and you felt your heart sink at your reflection.

You didn’t have time to do anything about it though as you could hear Mason bounding up the stairs in search of you so you quickly threw on one of his shirts and some cycling shorts before he got a glimpse of you.

‘Foods nearly ready’ he smiled, his face soft as he took you in before reaching his hand out for you to take. The energy between you had shifted slightly and his usually warm and caring self had been amplified ten fold. His touches that little bit softer and sweeter and you melted into him when he planted a kiss on your lips as he sat down.

The dinner conversation was kept light, you knew he wanted to but he never bought up your conversation from earlier. Instead taking a small walk down memory lane as he recounted how he felt when he first saw you, not imagining you’d give him the time of day let alone be sat here with him now, two kids and a dog later.

You both decided to head to bed soon after, knowing where the night was heading and after a quick shower himself he joined you under the sheets in just his boxers. His head on your chest as his hand snuck under your top to gently stroke your waist and the butterflies erupted in your tummy immediately. It was crazy how he still made you feel like a school girl with the most simple of touches, having to burry your head in his hair as you were overcome with silliness.

His hand moved further up your body, fingers dancing over your chest until he felt the lace under his fingers and his eyes were on you in an instant. The next this you knew his head was fully under your shirt so he could take a look for himself, you forgetting for a moment what you had on underneath but as soon as you felt him press a kiss to your right boob the memory came flying back and you jumped away from him.

‘Hey, where’s the fire’ he laughed, reaching for you to pull you back but you shuffled further away from him. You couldn’t see the hurt behind his eyes but you were too embarrassed about what you looked like to let him see. ‘Baby, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing, I…’ you started, a deep breath falling from your lips as you finally looked at him properly and you knew there was no point hiding anything from him. ‘I wanted to look good for you so I put some of my nice underwear on. They don’t look quite as good as I remember and I was gonna change but I forgot. I’m just a bit embarrassed that’s all’ you confessed quietly before you felt him shuffle up so he was sat against the headboard.

‘Come here, Mumma’ he whispered, holding out his hands for you to take before placing you in his lap, straddling his thighs as his hands settled on your waist. You always felt extra soft for him when he called you that as you knew he did it out of love and pride for the fact you were the mother of his children so you let him position you how he wanted before looking up at him. ‘I love you so much, you know that right?’ he mumbled, lips on your neck as he trailed them down to leave hot kisses over your collar bones. ‘Even after all these years, I’ve never stopped wanting you. Needing you’ he professed, and you felt yourself melt at his words.

‘I love you too’ you managed to whisper, his teeth lightly biting your neck before his eyes were on yours again.

‘Your body is my safe place, I don’t want you to ever be embarrassed of it. You’re so perfect, trust me’ he told you sincerely, shivering at his words and he must of felt it as a cocky smirk made it’s way onto his lips. ‘You are, I mean it. This beautiful body has given me everything I could ever want. You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world’

It was like someone had knocked the wind out of you, tears welling up in your eyes at his words so when he gripped the hem of your shirt to lift it over your head, you didn’t stop him this time. His face was a picture, taking in a sharp breath before letting it out slowly through pursed lips, brows furrowed like he couldn’t quite believe how lucky he was to have you sat in front of him before running his hand over his chin like he always did when he was a bit nervous.

‘You, my love, have got nothing to be worried about. Ageing like fine wine’ he winked, causing you to scoff before he rolled you over onto your back so he could tower over you. ‘Hey, I’m being serious’ he whispered, bumping his nose against yours before gripping the waistband on your shorts so he could pull them down your legs. ‘I’ve got no reason to lie, do I?’ He asked and you shook your head whilst biting your lip.

‘No, you don’t’

‘Exactly’ he whispered, pulling back to look over your body whilst he lightly traced his fingertips down your body causing you to shudder and erupt in goosebumps. ‘I love the way you react to me’ he whispered, coming back down to connect your lips in a heavy kiss before trailing thin all over your cheeks and jaw. ‘So perfect’ he mumbled into your skin and you giggled whilst trying pull his face up to yours so you could kiss him again.

You could feel him pressing into your core, making your tummy flip as he slowly rocked his hips into you and you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth as you tugged on his hair.

‘Please’ you breathed, raising your hips to let him know you were ready but he clearly wasn’t yet. He did it give you exactly what you wanted but your thoughts were stopped by the feeling on his mouth covering your nipple over the thin mesh of your bra. ‘F-fuck’ you managed to stutter out before he kissed his way across your chest to the other side. Your fingers combing through his hair as he kissed every inch of you. Lips trailing down your body to kiss over the faint stretch marks that had been left from Ollie and Tilly and you shivered at the gesture.

He didn’t stop there though, kissing your hips and your thighs before slowing working his way back up to your lips where he kissed you deeply. You were ready for him to have his way with you but he seeming wanted to worship you and you weren’t about to tell him no. You hadn’t had this amount of attention paid to you for a while and even though you could feel your face burning you were enjoying the feeling of his lips on your flushed skin

‘I’m gonna make you feel so good baby I promise’ he whispered against your inner thighs. ‘Gonna give you what you deserve’

You went to reply, but the feeling of him pulling your underwear down your legs stopped you. Your eyes were on him but his were focused on your core as he lowered himself back down, positioning your legs over his shoulders as his fingers lightly danced over your thighs before you finally felt him pressing kisses over your skin again.

As much as you were enjoying all the kisses and his soft touches you were aching for him to finally touch you properly. You had a tell, and he knew exactly what it was so when he felt your fingers gliding over his scalp he didn’t waste anymore time, darting his tongue out so he could separate your folds gently before flicking over your clit in a way he knew you loved. Your back was arching off the bed instantly but you felt him press you back down before slowly torturing you with his mouth.

You were already turned on more than you had been in a while, his soft touches and words really getting you going so the feel of him now finally giving you what you wanted felt like heaven, especially when his hands traveled up your body so he could cup your boobs so you couldn’t help but moan, biting your finger out of habit so no one heard you.

‘Does that feel good?’ He asked, taking a break so you could get your breath back and you managed to nod before he grabbed your hands to link your fingers together and rest them next to you. ‘I wanna hear you then, yeah? It’s just us baby, no need to hold back’ he told you before diving back in.

You lost yourself in the feeling, the familiar fizz rushing through your veins are your high was bubbling up inside you. Mason always knew how to get you going and how to get you to the finish line, knowing just by your reaction when he was on the right track and a few seconds after he’d slipped his fingers inside of you you were cuming around them.

You were crying his name, squeezing his fingers as you gripped the sheets with your free hand as he rode you through it, growling into you as you came down from you high and you could just about feel him pressing delicate kisses to your thighs again before making his way back up so you were eye level.

‘You ready for me now gorgeous?’

‘Mmhmm’ you breathed, opening your eyes to try and focus on him but your head was still spinning.

He didn’t give you a second, pushing your thighs up and apart so you were open for him before lining up and pushing himself in. You couldn’t blame him, he’d been teasing you for ages so you knew he must of been desperate to get inside you but the groan he let out when he was fully inside made your spine tingle.

‘You take me so well, baby. Made just for me, yeah? All mine’

‘Mase’ you whimpered, gripping his forearms as he leant forward and pounded into you steadily. ‘Oh, fuck. Do that again.’ You cried, your legs shaking as he repeatedly hit the same spot inside of you.

‘I know baby, I know. You feel so so good’ he mumbled, resting his forehead on yours as your moans got lost in each others mouths. He made you feel beautiful, feel seen, like the luckiest person on the planet that you got to share your world with him and you knew you were covered in goosebumps as your feelings hit you like a tone of bricks.

‘I love you so much, Mase’ you cried, bringing his lips down to yours for a heated kiss before feeling his fingers travel to your clit as he continued to thrust into you. You could tell he was close and now you were too so you pulled you lips away from him just in time to let out a loud groan as you came around him.

‘I love you too’ he whimpered, stilling his hips as he finished inside of you before collapsing on top of you with a light thud.

You were both exhausted and you let him lay on you for a bit so you could get you breathing back to normal, your own eyes becoming heavy so you shut them for a few seconds but you felt Mason move his head to look up at you almost as if it was an instinct for him.

‘Don’t go to sleep on me now, takes more than one go to make a baby’ he winked, making you laugh as you played with his hair ‘How about a snack and we go again?’ He asked

‘Grab me a bag of malteasers and you’ve got yourself a deal’ you told him, watching him sit up so he could pull out of you slowly. Once he had he dropped a quick kiss to your forehead and closed your legs ‘just to be on the safe side’ before jumping up to run downstairs and get your sweets for you.

You giggled as you watched him run out of your room without a stitch of clothing on, laughing like a school kid at the prospect of having sex with you again and it wasn’t long before he back in the doorway, dangling the share size bag between his fingers as he leant up against the frame.

‘I hope you’re ready for round two’

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed :) I’d love to know what you thought so please feel free to comment or drop me an ask, I’d really appreciate it!

[littlemissmentallyunstable]

title: we’re oranges and apples now

paring: grayson hawthorne x reader

synopsis: you and grayson broke up years and years ago after a long and happy relationship but one day you meet again in the future and the memories come flooding back…

parts: we’re apples and oranges now (your pov)

warnings:

a/n: this is we’re apples and oranges now but reversed in Grayson’s POV, you’ll notice this mirrors the other fic quite a bit, this is intentional!!

tag list: @tornqdowarnings @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @peterlcsingwendy @lxvebelle @xoxo-vee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zoyaaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77

Grayson’s POV

I was wandering around the shops cluelessly. Cluelessly is never a word I thought I’d describe myself with. Grayson Hawthorne was not a clueless man but nowadays I seemed to becoming less and less like Grayson Hawthorne than ever. I check the list of items I’d been asked to purchase and gather most of the things I need. I find myself in the fruit aisle, picking up various berries when I spot some oranges. Not my particular favourite but I decide to get some anyway. As I’m picking some I’m suddenly aware of someone beside me. I glance from the corner of my eye. She’s recognisable in an odd sort of way. I couldn’t quite see her face but something about her presence, the way she’s breathing, her careful movements, it’s all so familiar. It’s like I’d seen her so many times but couldn’t place my finger on who she is. I ignore the puzzle my brain is trying to make this and focus on the oranges in my hands. She’s buying apples, placing one by one in a brown paper bag. I’m just about to put the final orange in the bag when suddenly I feel her bump into me. I see hands fly to her mouth and her eyes widen.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!”

Her voice hits me like a train and I realise who she is. Why she was so recognisable. The left side of my chest fills with warmth that spreads across my whole body and suddenly my heart is pounding. I’m frozen for a second, not knowing what to say until I blurt out her name.

“Y/N!”

I stand up properly to make sure it’s really her. She’s stood there still, not moving, not blinking, I don’t even know if she’s breathing. She seems to be ina state of paralysis for a few moments. She looks up finally and murmurs my name.

“Gray?”

I chill runs down my spine, it’s been so long since I’ve heard my names from those lips. Her lips. The ones I used to kiss and now look at us. Too flustered for each other’s good in the fruit aisle of a grocery stores. Her hair spills around her face, framing her beautiful features. It’s like I’m looking at her for the first and last time all over again. The odd feelings of desire and pain mixing up into some messy soup in the pit of my stomach. As our eyes meet, a lifetime of love flashes before me. Memories that had been buried deep into the darkest parts of my mind begin to resurface and play like a mini movie. Over and over and over, like the film tape was stuck in the camera and no more of the story could make it through. She looks just like I remembered yet not quite. The months I’d spent moping over her, dreaming of her features, once drawing her just from memory. And now she was here infront of me. I wonder what she might be thinking. If she were thinking about the past we’d been through or the present were in now. Or maybe it’s neither, maybe I’m not even on her mind.

“Wow it’s really you,” I say. I want to smile, but I can’t will myself too, it feels in my gut like some sort of betrayal… but I don’t know who to. My wife? My children? Myself? Her?

It’s so odd seeing her again. Part of her was always somehow engraved into the side of my heart. Even when it was all over, the scarred name was still there and right now I can feel it throbbing. I don’t know whether the pain is good or bad but it just feels so natural for it to occur. I’d thought I was over this, over her, over the feeling but now I can see her again I don’t feel so powerful over my own swarm of thoughts as I did when she wasn’t staring at me with those angel eyes. She’s everything I’d remembered. Perfection doesn’t even begin to outline what she looks like. She looks a little older, a little more mature but I dare say it’s made her even prettier. She has the same gorgeous eyes, bright smile, soft hair. All those nights I’d spent gazing at her while she slept, tracing the very features that I stare at now. Then I’d taken them for granted, assumed that I’d be able to do that forever but now I just take them in slowly, processing this might be the last time I see them.

A question plays on the tip of my tongue, but it had already died long before in my throat, so I don’t ask it. Even though my heart is screaming for me to just be brave for once, my brain declines once again. My eye flicker down to get a glimpse of her left hand. I am guilty, but I have to know if she’s found someone new. Someone who’s given her what she deserves, the things that I couldn’t. But her left hand is gripping the basket so tightly that her fingers and any rings are hidden behind the handle and the white of her knuckles. So I’m left staring at the items in her basket. Baby bottles and blankets. My heart plummets down to my stomach. Was she expecting? Or had she already had her child? It’s funny, I’d always thought if she’d ever had a baby it would be mine. Suddenly this revelation makes me angry. She is having it has had a baby with someone. She’s a mother and not to my children. It stings so much more than it should. Like antiseptic on a fresh wound. But what hurts more than that is that I don’t know these things about her anymore. I don’t know her life, all the exciting moments and even the painful ones. And I’m never going to. It’s never going to be what it was and it’s all my fault. I let it all slip away and now I’m full of regret,

And then the blow of guilt hits me out of no where again. As if a shell has exploded right in front of me and I’ve been blown to smithereens. I should’ve be feeling regret. I have my own a life now with a woman a love, who is now called my wife. I have kids and a car and a steady income. And she has her life. I’m selfish, I’m so bitterly selfish for wanting what I can’t have when I already have so much… and yet it still doesn’t stop me.

Her hand shifts hold on the basket and then I see it. An engagement ring and a wedding band. Classy and classic. I expect nothing less, of course. That’s her taste. It always has been and I’m glad she’s find someone who respects that, who acknowledges it. But it’s grating at me… if we had still been together would she have gotten the same set or would it be different. I wish I didn’t care this much. I shouldn’t care this much. It’s a piece of damn mental and yet it’s suddenly the only thing on my mind. I’m ridden with a horrible vicious jealousy, spreading like an ugly rash all over my skin. I’m jealous of whatever man put these rings on her finger, whatever man got the luxury of calling her his wife. I’m disgusted in myself for feeling this way because she looks happy. Happier than ever. And I want that for her more than anything. She deserves to be the happiest girl in the world. But I wish I could’ve made her this happy. But I failed. And this is my punishment. I have my own life now and so does she, so I keep having to remind myself. Why is the concept so hard for me to grasp?

I wonder about her husband. It’s hard to picture her with someone else. I think about all the things I hope he is to her. Was he the kindest soul on the planet? Would he do anything and everything for her? Did he treat her like she deserved more than the world? I hoped, I prayed he was. And even though I’m trying to forbid it to, my mind still wanders on… Was he anything like I was? Or did I scar her so badly that he was my opposite? What made her choose him? Fall for him harder than she’d fallen for me? What made his love worth fighting for?

I look back to her face and inwardly sigh. I doubt she was doing this. Mulling over me and my life like I am hers. Overthinking every detail, wondering who she’s married to and why. She’s too kind, too mature. I only wish I could have the decency to do the same, but it’s pricing difficult. Though, I catch her eyeing my wedding ring. And suddenly a pang hits my stomach and I want to tell her so many things that I can’t. I wish I could tell her I didn’t dare engrave the initials in the metal, like we’d one discussed. I didn’t for one second think of doing that with anyone but her. I wanted to tell her that I drove all the way out to a jewellers in another town just so I wouldn’t go to the same one we once did. I wanted to tell her that I kept the promise rings we’d made together and I still have them in a box under the roof of my house. But I stay silent because I am a coward.

“Yeah, gosh, hi, how have you been?” she asks. The first thing I notice is how radiant she looks, the brightness in her eyes and joy in her voice. ‘She’s happy’ I think again and that makes me smile a little.

“Good, I’m good,” I reply, “how are you?”

“Yeah,” she nods, “good as well.”

“It’s been a while,” i say, forcing a laugh to hide the resurfacing pain. It was easier like that.

“Yeah it has,” she grins back, her eyes pinned to mine. She looks so delicate in this moment and so unbelievably beautiful, “it’s about time we’d bump into each other.”

“Yeah,” I reply, gazing at her trying to suppress my smile. But it seems to not obey and suddenly I’m grinning like I haven’t in a very long time, not since we were together I don’t think.

A menagerie of memories replay in my head, but it feels like I’m a bystander in every scene, watching another version of myself with her. A wave of deja vu envelopes me suddenly sending tingles down my spine. I don’t like what she does to me, I don’t like feeling so far from myself and yet I miss her so much. And just as if she’s reading my thoughts she says three fateful words that I’ll never forget,

“I’ve missed you,” she says rather suddenly.

Those words hit me like a bus, in the best way possible. In fact I wish to be hit with that bus over and over and over just to feel the impact.

“I’ve missed you too,” I say, hoping she can hear the meaning in my voice, see the emotion in my eyes.

The tide of bittersweetness roll in and out slowly, unsurely, indecisively. And even though the water is only up to my ankles I’m suddenly drowning. Drowning in the most minuscule amount of water because my mind is making it out to be so much more than it is. A unswallowable lump forms in my throat in this prolonged silence. My eyes refuse to leave her face, the very face I left all those years ago. She wears the same expression as that night. One of the worst nights of my life. Her eyes are wide, a borderline of hurt and happiness. I still have nightmares to this day, it’s one moment of us together that I never wish to relive. The silence makes me ache all over, craving her voice once more. I want to forget about the history and bury it right next to the pain and trauma that have been buried for years now. But making this quiet somewhat bearable is the silent conversation we share. We know each other well enough to do so. A shared moment the saddest of happiness and the happiest of sadness all at once.

A call comes through on my phone and I look down to the buzzing device to see it’s my wife. Guilt surges through me once again.

“Well I’d best get going,” I tell her quickly.

I need to get away. Even though all I want to so is stand her for the rest of time just to hear her voice and see her face. She’s my drug, she always has been and always will be. But I gave up a long time ago and I can’t go back to what I was, to who I was. So I need to run and rehabilitate, so I don’t get addicted again. A coward of a man is all I am, but I least I laid my eyes on her beauty once more before I never did again.

“Yeah me too,” she nod firmly, confidently.

She holds herself with so much more pride now, she knows how much she’s worth and I can see it. I’m glad.

“Goodbye Y/N,” I murmur, savouring the feeling of her name on my lips, “I wish you all the best.”

And I did. Truly I did. I wanted her to have everything she ever could dream of and then more.

“Bye Gray,” she says with a small smile that I never realised how much I’d missed seeing, “I wish you the same.”

We turn and walk our separate ways, apples in her basket, oranges in mine. I take the call from my wife and then wander aimlessly down different aisles not knowing what I was doing or where I was going anymore. Until it had been an hour and I finally made it back home. As soon as I can I get into the shower and break down. A sob silently as the water droplets run down my body, until the lungs ache and my head screams at me to stop. And even then it’s hard to. I can’t shake the regret, I can’t shake the pain, I can’t shake her voice and her face from my brain. I quietly wonder if she cried too… no. She’s far too strong. I pull myself together for the sake of the life I lead now and force myself not to think of her.

The oranges rot in the fruit bowl. I don’t think I would’ve eaten them when they were fresh anyway, I’ve never liked their immediate sourness and then the thick sugary aftertaste left to coat my throat. The next time I go to the shop I buy apples instead of oranges hoping she’d be there too, but she never was. I find myself wondering if the next time she went to the shop she bought oranges rather than apples in hope to see me. But I suppose it will remain one of the worlds’ greatest mysteries and I will never find the answer, no matter how hard I try…

a/n: I gave Gray’s pov a shot?? Don’t know how successful it was, but I hope you enjoyed anyways. Thanks for reading 🤍🤍

TIG masterlist

[coyoteprince]

Some thoughts on the masculine side of my gender experience and how it ties into vulnerability

I am nonbinary, I believe some flavor of fluid, but I just read as a goth cis woman to the layperson. That's fine and good, there is a safety and privilege in being stealth even with the alternative way I dress, but there also feels like a safe with something precious I keep locked away in me.

I take comfort in referring to myself as a "woman with a man's personality" and likening myself to a kelpie or nymph: beautiful, soft, but merely a vision of a woman: in reality underneath the gossamer, a beast that fails man's words.

Occasionally, something stirs to life in me, similar but different: those feelings of masculinity. I am naturally positioned by my genes (I can grow a shitty sparse beard) and temperament to have some secondary features- but thats it.

And yet, when the pangs of longing ache, they come on suddenly and harsh and I feel trapped.

There is nothing I can truly do to feel comfortable with the swing of identity. Only shapeshifiting back and forth could satisfy me which is impossible. Yes, I could seek hormones or surgery, but I have decided for now to not for a variety of reasons. As part of that, I've always been rather... defensive and secretive about the masculine part of my identity. I have a secondary masculine name I only allow people I trust to call me, and this dumb tumblr post is the first time I'm admitting some rather personal things to the public eye.

I'm well aware today many won't respect the nature of my gender just because I am a ~nonbinary girl~ and not seeking permanent transition, but even before that the thought of being trans was too much for me.

The first time I realized I was trans I wasn't older than 15 and noticed the thoughts I was experiencing about wanting to feel like a boy. It frightened me so bad that I vowed to never give it attention again specifically because I already knew I was queer, mentally different, being abused, and "didn't need another target on my back". Haha. Hahaha

Ignoring those thoughts hasn't been too hard except when I see the ghost of my identity. Then it is overwhelming, like a wave crashing over me and threatening to sweep me into the tide. Painful and exhilarating all at once. Before I know it, it's gone again.

I read and watched The Outsiders in middleschool, as did many. I latched onto Johnny, a greaser kid with an abusive family who tried to play tough but was really just an incredibly scared, sweet runt. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I identified so hard with him but hindsight is 20/20. Despite the hamminess of Outsiders, I continue to hold a fondness.

Later, when I became comfortable with my nonbinary ID (something that was quite difficult for me) and an adult, I saw another ghost. A theme now set: soft hearted greasers. The first time I heard this I curled up and couldn't stop replaying it even though it made my chest ache.

Finally, the last ghost I've seen and what really made it all click for me was Izzy.

I was neutral of Izzy for the first season (sorry my old man fucker peers), but seeing him become disabled and starting to soften made me intrigued. Then, the drag scene and him singing: I yelped in excitement, bewilderment, and bawled like never before. It was the most intense gender euphoria I've ever felt. Izzy shot to the top of my favorite characters ever in an instant with all he grew to embody.

I guess I identify with boys clad in leather, forced to become rugged in all the wrong ways. Underneath, a natural softness terrified but desperate to show itself.

You can see this in Waite, too: A handsome, dark man who is oh so soft underneath. It's no secret that in my story over time he accepts his nonbinary identity and allows his truth to be seen framed by carnations and frill. Perhaps he is what I wish I was.

On the other hand, Degare is somewhat closer to my reality. A gender all his own, effeminant masculine mannerisms, fairly feminine dress, breasts and vagina and all- though he is still often more masculine than how I present. In contrast to Waite's uneasy fear of judgement, he tries to guard his natural softness rather aggressively out of fear of being taken advantage of.

I'm sure to many reading this I sound like a transmasc "egg" that hasn't cracked yet. To others, very mentally ill. Maybe to some who are fluid, they know the wish-washy feelings.

Either way, I'm a proud freak and I've worked hard to not allow others to hold power over how I view myself anymore. These past 4 years through a cocktail of treatments (though meditation and practice have been the biggest game changers) I've diligently learned how to balance being openly loving to all and authentic- yet protecting my energy and staying sure of my identity no matter another's opinion. Misery loves company and bitter, paranoid gossips and I no longer get along.

Softness, kindness, vulnerability for others and yourself are all difficult, at times seemingly impossible things to achieve when you come from a harsh upbringing and live in a world bombarded by bad news. Change in your view and behavior is excrusiating. But I believe striving for authenticity and love is the most important thing we can do as humans in this life.

Whether I end up transitioning down the line or staying as I am, I've learned to cherish these flashes of masculine desire and be empowered by vulnerability- and I don't regret it.