#becausetheyworthit

[elinormillerblog-blog]

***My best parenting advise*** worth reading :) Today is my Benjamin's 9th birthday, every year on his birthday I like to look at his newborn pictures. As I was looking at the pictures I remembered how back then, he looked so small and fragile, so depended on me. At that time I took with love everything he did, although I had every reason not to, my body was sensitive and exhausted after the delivery, I was hormonal, tired and sleep deprived. BUT somehow when he bit me (and gosh it really did hurt) or kicked me, woke me up the second I fell asleep of spit on me right before I finally got ready to go somewhere, I never got mad at him, I kept looking for his needs, when he "misbehaved" it was clear to me that there a need behind it, he might be hungry, in pain or need a diaper change. WHAT HAS HAPPENED???? At what point I stopped thinking this way???? he might be bigger, he might look less fragile BUT things are the exact same!!! when he misbehaves there is still a need behind it, he still depended on me, maybe not to feed his body but to feed his heart, mind and soul to show him that he is seen heard and loved, that he is great just the way he is. It helps me to treat the action but the cause, it helps me help him exactly where it hurts. So my son's birthday gave me a great reminder, I try to remember it every time he "requires my attention". This is my favorite parenting tip, it has done magic in my household and I know it will do in yours so I had to share. (**By the way it works with adults too***) #empathywillsavetheworld #consciousparenting #empathy #parentingadvise #parentwisely #empoweryourchild #becausetheyworthit #fixitwithlove #lifecoach #practiceyogaoffthemat https://www.instagram.com/p/BouJQf4Ax6s/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1b3uzmmmq866w

[elinormillerblog-blog]

We celebrated Ethan's birthday yesterday, it was a last minute birthday, in between the storm and the Jewish high holidays, we improvised everything BUT the kid had a blast. He got so much attention, love and cool gifts. It was 7pm on a school night and I tried to get my kids to stop riding their bike and get ready for bed. Benjamin at first ignored me, then he told me NO (!!!) he wasn't coming inside!!! Oh I got mad, and again I wanted to make promises of all the things he is going to lose and was even thinking to go and grab him and take his bike away forever... I start thinking about my (awful) skills as a mother and how I failed. But then I looked at Ethan, this day has been all about him and my Benny needs extra attention this is what it's all about! With a different perspective in mind, we approach Benjamin, got him to do his night routine smoothly and spoke about how to communicate our feelings when we feel like we need attention (or anything) I explained how things looked on our end and how he could have gotten in trouble for wanted something that it so normal to want (who doesn't want attention sometimes). We asked him to think about the best consequence to help him not behave the way he did and say 'NO' when mommy calls you. Any suggestions??? #Becausetheyworthit #weallneedattention #empathy #thrutheireyes #forhappykids #parenting #awarness #lovecomesfirst #livepourposefullytoday #practiceyogaoffthemat https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn3nCPRgaks/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=w1tblc0jiebb

[elinormillerblog-blog]

We went thru the nightly routine, per his request I spend 10 more minutes in bed with him (out of my very precious and limited 'me time' after this devices-free weekend and 3 months of summer) I kissed him good night and a few minutes later he shows up upstairs 😣🤦‍♀️😵 "You are almost 9 y/o, get your act together and go to bed, I have so much to do. We had the same routine since the day you were born, your younger siblings are already asleep without any issues WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???" This is what went thru my head, what I almost said BUT I didn't. He is not doing anything to me, I know that sometimes he has a hard time falling asleep (I also know that he doesn't like it, and he wishes he could fall asleep right away). Thank God 🙏 I learned to stop and rethink, if I had said all the above, I would have made one who is already suffering, suffer even more, I would make him feel worse and by comparing him to his sibling I would make him feel less and not normal... So instead I asked him what can I do to help? I told him that it totally normal and sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep, I laid next to him for a while until he fell asleep... ❤️ I totally missed my "me time" but gained a very happy boy in the morning:)🤩🤩🤩 Seeing life thru their eyes is the most efficient, effective and empowering parenting technics I can use. This morning on our way to school we spoke about empathy, and my 💗 got so big when he used our last night experience as an example of empathy. It has only been 2 days of school and he had already gotten a lifetime lesson :) Thank you #CJDS #kidsarethebestteacher #empathy #becausetheyworthit #thrutheireyes #parenting #alwaysacoach #practiceyogaoffthemat https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm_LF1Hg388/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=eimbiz7122ov

[elinormillerblog-blog]

The moon is always full!!! but it doesn't always seem this way, It depends on it's relation to the earth and the sun. Someone made a comment to me, she said that I should watch my kid more carefully while we are in the waiting playroom... (its a small room with not so many kids in it but my little one is pretty active) My first reaction was "who the He@# are you to criticise the way I parent my kid", I wanted to tell that person that I do watch my kid very well and she better mind her own business!!!! BUT I paused, I made myself process... I know this person and I know she said it to make sure my kid is safe... not that anything bad happened but she wanted to prevent that... So I thanked her for the comment and today when we got into the same waiting area, I left my phone and my book in the car and was there with my kid, I played with her and read books and it was wonderful... I promised myself that next time when I hear a comment that irritates me I will find out the real Why. The moon and everything else we see is 100% depends on out preception... What an important reminder I got this morning when I saw the most beautiful half moon #livepurposefullytoday #themoonisalwaysfull #listen #mommyslife #becausetheyworthit #lovethatneighbor

[elinormillerblog-blog]

imagine being an 8y/o, mommy picks you up from school and tells you she is proud of you. Now imagine the 8y/o you but mommy greets you with a frown.... how would you feel then? I got an email today from his (amazing) teacher, he had a rough morning, wasn't cooperative, to say the least, refused to participate and do his assignment BUT things have gotten much better in the afternoon and the rest of the day went pretty well. I had a choice I could highlight the bad or the good... I chose the latter, not because I like to avoid conflicts but because I love avoiding unnecessary ones. So I told him that I am proud of him when I picked him up, his face shined, he straightened his back and lift his head up but he was also confused... "if anything I didn't behave well" he thought to himself, so he asked "Why?" and I told him about the email from his teacher and I told him that I understand that sometimes we don't feel like doing what we are supposed to be doing and I am proud of him because he was able to get out of this mood, he was able to turn around and do his best. My job is to show him what he tends to forget, my job is to highlight the good in him, to plant it deep in his mind that even if he didn't believe it at first he will, eventually. We had a great evening together and I can't wait to see what day he will have tomorrow at school... I know he will have a much better day than the 8y/o that (almost) got criticized by his mommy for his poor choices..... #livepurposefullytoday #becausetheyworthit

[elinormillerblog-blog]

I heard her tell her son that respect is something you earn...I hear my clients and other parents say it all the time... Are we expecting our children to show respect to others without any terms and conditions, but they have to somehow earn respect??? We also tell them to treat others as they wished to be treated... What are we teaching them? not to show respect to others until they earn it??? or that others are worthy of respect without any conditions but they are not??? Love and respect should come unconditionally when our kids know that, they get the courage to be who they really are, they will be happier and will have a better access to reach their full potential. The words we use matter, make sure you deliver the message that you intend to deliver. I wish all of you a magical holiday season😍 #respect #kids #parenting #notice #becausetheyworthit #justlove #TheWillMakeThisWorldAbetterPlace #coaching #lifecoach #practiceyogaoffthemat https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq2XdGqBR15/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1oxtvd2yhv5r9