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awordsmith · 1 month ago

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rained on with you 𝜗𝜚 s.r

۶ৎ in which you attend a few of Spencer's classes as an auditor for personal reasons and he calls you out in front of the class, and has no idea just how off he is.

katcember

who? spencer reid x college!reader when? s13 category: angst to fluff (hurt/comfort) content warnings: kidnapping of a sibling, mentions of sa (not you), anger, shouting, stress, public embarrassment, student/professor dynamic (you're not his student), Spencer being sexually harassed by female students, intense despair and sadness, self-loathing, guilt, thoughts of murder, happy ending, not proofed, reid with care word count: 8.7k a/n: my first post, be pleasant! this actually made me cry because I've had a teacher I trusted and felt comfortable with yell at me for something I thought was completely okay in front of not only my class, but another class. enjoy!

You cursed yourself, there was something about the dreary weather outside that had you rushing through the outdoor halls of the building that made everything worse, you thought perhaps it was because it perfectly resembled what you felt inside.

It's been a month, you'd told yourself the first time you'd decided to audit the first class. It was a sociology class by a woman you'd never heard of, it wasn't even a general class needed for your major, you could have taken it as an elective, sure, but by that time, the deadline to add and drop classes had ended.

You'd taken notes and must have read them a hundred times over again, the police were kind at first, understanding, but as you began to compile more and more information, they stopped listening.

Two months had gone by and they'd eventually labeled her as a runaway. It wasn't uncommon for girls her age, but you knew your sister, and it just did not make sense.

That's when you decided it was you or no one, your parents could not handle the thought of anything else, and they too–eventually–chose to move on. "For the better," they'd said, it had made you so angry and feel so incredibly helpless at the same time.

How could they–her own parents–give up just like that?

Not you. You would never forget your sister, nor her person. You had gone over the day multiple times in your head and yet could not wrap around the fact that she'd just vanished without a trace.

You were entering the third month of her disappearance in December, and coincidentally her birth month. You did not want to celebrate without her and though the mere thought of her threatened tears rolling down your cheeks, you couldn't stop. It was as if the guilt wouldn't let you.

During the day, you attended your normal classes, and at night, almost every night, including Friday–tonight–you'd attend a lecture-based class that surrounded around psychology, sociology, and criminology. You had become a regular in each of the classes, criminology being the last you started attending.

You took vicarious notes, and when you weren't studying for your course classes, you were cramming as much information you'd learned from your secret night classes into your head and pouring it into your sister's disappearance.

To quench your need for sleep, you'd taken up drinking a lot more coffee than one should normally take in a day. You had been running a little behind schedule, so when you walked into the lecture hall and all eyes–including the professor's–fell on you, you absently took a small step back.

"Sorry I'm late," you murmured, avoiding his eyes as you moved to take a seat in the front like you normally did. The hall wasn't that big and most students sat in the back-row, what few did sit in the front were pretty quiet and never said a word to you. The lights were always dim, but enough for you to see your paper and pen.

The scent of rain and coffee wafted through the air as you began the trek to your normal seat. A question abruptly stopped you in the middle of the row, you had passed all the other students and you normally would have deigned to go around them, but thought not to interrupt the prof introducing the topic of today.

"What's your name?" Called the professor. You were startled as you set your back pack on the floor and slid into a seat.

"My–my name?" you swallowed, wishing the floor would swallow you.

"Yes, your name." His voice was thick and laced with something more than displeasure.

You glanced up at him, biting your cheek for a moment, deciding how to respond. What could it hurt? You thought. You looked back up at him, meeting his eyes, they were soft, and for some reason you abruptly wondered how old he was, surely not much older than you. You mumbled out your name, then shifted in your seat to lean down and rummage through your bag for your notebook.

"I don't actually believe you're in my class," he glanced around the room briefly before his eyes returned to you, your head down. He waited patiently for you to lift it again and meet, "I'm not in the habit of being straightforward like this," he began walking toward you.

Your heart pounded in sync with each step he took. Was he made you hadn't asked him to audit his class? You should have just asked him, but he always seemed to be with someone, you even once tried to find him during his office hours, but you didn't really want to go into depth about why you wanted to listen to his lectures. You'd barely escaped the previous two.

Besides, he'd looked intimidating, just as he did now, hovering above you with his arms crossed, "tell me," you kept your head down as your cheeks grew red, knowing every one in the class had their eyes on you, "why do you keep coming back?"

When you didn't respond as you just didn't know how, he scoffed, "listen, I don't mean for this to come off as personal, but stop." You jerked your head upward, eyes pleading. He was the only professor that aloigned with your schedule.

He rolled his eyes, ran a hand down his face, and sighed. "Stop–just," he held bout a hand, a resigned and indifferent expression on his face, "girls like you are the reason I don't allow auditors in my class anymore. If you're not curious about the material, there is no reason for you to be here."

"But I am," came the tiny squeak of your voice.

He laughed, but tried to cover it up with a cough as he deigned to look at you again, "I have students here," he motioned toward the other students in the hall with his arms, "who I'm sure would appreciate their time and energy being respected, I know I do." His face fell flat, "so do us all a favor and–

"What?!" Came your realized reply. For as long as it took you, you were surprised the prof had not yet realized the mixup. You felt less embarrassed now and more–pissed. How arrogant can one person be? How big is too big an ego? "Are you crazy?" You couldn't help the shout as you stood.

To his credit, the prof–yeah, you didn't even know his name–and he thought, you scoffed internally, rolling your eyes on this outside, you took a few steps forward until you were in front of him. You shoved your notebook in his chest and waited for him to grab it before taking another step back, doing your best to ignore the number of eyes that were most defiantly flying between you and the prof.

"Look, I'm sorry I interrupted your lecture, and I'm also sorry for not asking to audit it, but to say that I've been using my free nights where I could be sleeping or working on her case to see you–" you took a breath, face flushed despite how you both wanted to laugh and cry and scream, "whatever," you shook your head, a scoff leaving your lips as you did so; you turned around, snatched your book bag from the floor, and stormed out, letting the metal door fall closed with a hard thud.

You only got a few paces away before tears began welling in your eyes and you plastered yourself against a nearby wall, the car lot you'd been at no more than 5 minutes ago right around the corner. "I'm sorry," you whispered, "I'm so–o, so-rry," you wiped your eyes, your voice trembling with and cracking with the weight of the day and the most recent events. You knew that it wasn't the last you'd see of that prof, you'd need to go back eventually to get your notebook back, that is–if he kept it, for all you knew he'd thrown it away already.

Whatever the case, just one last time, you'd need to talk to him just once more, if only to get your stupid notebook back that you stupidly handed over in a moment of dumbfounded and audacity-stricken. You just couldn't believe it.

You shook your head, swiping at the tears that had began streaming down you face. You'd go during one his office hours, perhaps he'll feel sorry or guilty. Good, you thought, he should.

Not tonight though, tonight, you were sleeping, you weren't going to think about anything. Your body was exhausted and you knew it; it had been for a while and yet you neglected it the sleep it desperately needed for favor of finding your sister and keeping up your normal schedule.

Just one night, you thought, making your way into the lot.

Huffing, you stuffed your hands into your pockets, it had been a few days now, you let Saturday and Sunday pass, Monday too, today, you couldn't handle it any longer. You needed your notebook, you were nearly there, you had gone over your suspect list, you had what you thought was a solid profile, though you couldn't be too sure, you were planning to go over it with the sociology professor when you had the chance, though you had no idea if she'd be able to give you anything more, especially if she didn't take it seriously.

You were just thinking that you could probably say it was a personal project, something to get your gears turning when you ran headfirst into someone. "Oh, I am so sorry," you backed away, reaching an arm out to steady the girl.

She glanced at you, tear-marks down her face, "it's fine," she huffed and held her head up, "it's nothing," she smiled painfully, "my fault really," she turned to you with an endearing expression, "thank you, though." She walked off quickly, no doubt wanting to get to her car.

It was such a strange experience, you had to rub your own head, thinking you'd hit it too hard and that's why you weren't walking in a straight line.

Nearing his office, you puffed out your chest, ready to stand your ground and demand your book back if necessary. You didn't believe yourself above the law, but spending a night or three in a jail didn't seem all too bad when only God knew what your sister was going through.

The smell of coffee hit you, like it always did, it became somewhat familiar in your routine, smelling it now–when you normally didn't–almost through you off.

You cleared your head and were about to clear your throat before stepping into his office, when you caught a sentence, he wasn't alone. You raised a brow and pressed your back against slightly ajar door, "please," it was the prof–his shaggy brown hair and puppy brown eyes appeared as a perfect image in your head, though his eyes were narrowed in your depiction. You glared back at the him from last Friday, then paused, catching the other side of the conversation.

"I–I don't know what you mean," murmured the student–a girl. You briefly thought of the girl you'd ran into, then through the image away in favor of eaves dropping. "I just," a char creaked and a heavy sigh came.

"Listen," the prof's gruff voice was lighter this time, he sounded almost...awkward. You smirked at it, now he was intimidated by a girl? An actual student of his no less? What kind of pathetic–

"I just was to know how I can please you, in the class, I mean," she corrected yourself, but the meaning was there and it made you cough, you'd covered it in time, swiftly moving your face into the inner side of your elbow.

"And I've told you," the prof's chair shifted, man he must be uncomfortable, you thought, feeling a little sorry for him. You had no idea–it just never crossed your mind–that he could have been yelling at you from a reasonable stand point.

You sighed and through your head back, prepping yourself for something you most definitely shouldn't do.

"I know what you said, Sir, but," the girls voice began to get pushy, which is when you thought it finally time.

You swept open the door all the way and stepped inside, arms crossed a sly smile on your face, "sorry to interrupt, oh," you let your eyes fall to the girls, "sorry I didn't know you were with someone, but," you had the decency to try looking regretful, "I'm sorry, this is really important."

It took a few seconds for the girl to register that you were now addressing her. She glanced at your dominating figure and then back at the prof, who looked both grateful and constipated. You bit your cheek to keep from laughing.

"Right," the prof said, turning to the girl who now went limp in the chair, "thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it I do."

The girl nodded solemnly, understanding this was a polite way of being dismissed. She collected her things gravelly, which is when you paused, she was young–fresh out of high school young. What was she doing trying to mess with a professor her first year in university?

Her face pinged familiar when she looked at you and you instantly made the connection from the girl you'd bumped into earlier. Your eyes widen and a just barely audible, "oh," came from you mouth.

When she was gone, you took a breath before turning back around, meeting his eyes in a silent, "so, that was crazy," his lips formed a line and his eyes almost shrugged for him.

"Does that happen a lot?" You didn't know why you asked, but you did, and well, he answered didn't he?

"More times than students come in with actually problems." He frowned, eyes fixed on the door left open.

"Maybe that just mean you're a good teacher?" You raised a brow, at least you thought he was, he did ramble sometimes, but it was enjoyable, seeing as how you were used to it. Well, you used to be, Your face tightened, "my notebook," you roamed your eyes over his desk before looking up again, "I want it back."

He nodded thoughtfully, watching you for a moment, "who is she?"

Your eyes fell, so he had read it, "my sister."

He nodded again, though you only looked back up when he pulled open a drawer. "I assume you..." his sentence broke off when heavy rainfall began.

He glanced at the door again, then at you, to which you smiled, though small, kind, "we can leave it open."

Relief filled his face and just for a second it made you angry on his behalf. Why hadn't he gone to the dean of his college? Surely it wouldn't be as bad as what he'd been going through now.

You opened your mouth to say something about it, but he spoke before you, "uhm, the case, it was dropped?"

You nodded, "yeah, last month."

"I assume you have a list? This was pretty detailed work," he held up your notebook.

"Thank you, but that's not all I have," you informed, "that's just my notebook for your class, which is incredibly insightful by the way, you should really think about becoming full time, your lectures aren't that hard to understand once you're comfortable and familiar with the material and usage of vocab..u...lar..y..." you dropped of your sentence, glancing away.

He chuckled, almost startling you out of your seat, "it's okay, I do that sometimes too."

You smiles slightly, "I know, you do it constantly during your lectures and seminars."

His smile cracked and he looked a little worried, "do I?"

You snorted, "Don't worry, they're interesting and most of the time relatable to the discussion or topic." He nodded, looking a little conscious. "So," you prodded, noting the book still in front of him.

"Oh, right," he picked the book up and handed it back to you, you didn't know what else to say, so you began to stand, "you know," his voice echoed through the office, though not large and with rain pouring down as if a hurricane was about to roll in, still clear, "if you want I can take a look at it, I am an FBI profiler."

You turned back to him and raised a brow, "what was your name again?"

He looked shellshocked, "you, you don't know my name?"

"Don't take it personal," you waved off, "I don't know my real professors' names, I call them all prof or professor for a reason."

"Do you call me professor?" He smiled, intrigued by the sudden admission. It was a little feeing, knowing that not only did he have a student in his office whom enjoyed his seminars and took detailed notes during his lectures, but who didn't have a single clue who he was. He'd written paper's, was on live television more times than he could recall–and he had an eidetic memory–and still, she did not know a single thing about him other than he taught twice a week once on a Wednesday night and once on a Friday night. He was honestly surprised he was able to get off work in time to head over to campus and set up.

"Prof," you said, grinning smugly, "professor isn't your style."

"Why not?" He scrunched his brows together.

"You're too young, it makes me feel weird and takes a hit at my pride," you grabbed your chest dramatically.

A snort came from his throat as he watched you reenact Romeo and Juliette, act 5, scene 3. He paused, referring to you as Juliette could be misinterpreted and he did not want that. He liked talking to you despite himself and he frowned as he recalled how he'd embarrassed you lat Friday, "I'm sorry," he tilted his head downward, watching your smiling eyes find his, "last Friday, that was uncalled for..."

You stared at him for a long while, trying to figure out how to say it, but eventually gave up and let your thoughts spill out, "yes, it was." He winced slightly at the harshness, you did too, you hadn't realized hoe hurt you still were, but you sighed, "at least I thought it was." He lifted his eyes and you averted yours, "look, it's not my place or anything, but what's happening is not okay, it's harassment. You should.." you bit your lip, frowned, and met his eyes through your lashes, "why haven't you gone to the dean?"

He took a breath and sat down in his chair, it squeaking on impact. You watched him run a hand through his hair, he looked contemplative, "I don't know...I just," he huffs, "they're kids, they have their entire life ahead of them, I don't know how I could just take that all away because of some silly crush."

The way he said "silly" instead of "stupid" or "annoying" made you smile. Your heart warmed and at the same time you felt sorry for him, but you were also beyond confused, "you said you were an FBI profiler?" He nodded, "then, how can't you tell the difference between–" you stopped yourself, that wasn't fair to him at all. "All right," you nodded, "if you won't go to the dean, that's your choice," you pressed your lips together, "but if you ever need a rescuing like today," you patted your arm, "I can be your superman."

His eyebrows furrowed, "don't you mean supergirl?"

"Nah," you smiled smugly again, "I mean superman."

He nodded, a grin falling over his face like it'd been waiting to break free, "okay, thanks. Oh, and–uhm," he pulled out his phone, "should I email you?"

You nodded, "as long as you let me continue auditing your class."

He smiled, eye alight with something you were certain you had never seen cross his face in the two months you'd been taking his lectures and seminars. "If you want me to look at your sister's case," he said quietly after you'd hit the door, "I'd be willing to mention it to my team."

Your eyes widened and you spun around, tears already in your eyes, you kept your hope down, but your thankfulness as clear as the notion you were going to get soaked before reaching your car was. "I would appreciate it greatly, even if nothing comes of it."

He smiled, "I'll let you know what they say after class tomorrow."

"Thank you," you swiped at your eyes, wondering how someone who you had never spoken to you up until now could make you cry so much.

You spun around, notebook covered under you shirt, and headed down the hall, where you were bound to face the wrath of the climate.

You worked out the finality of your suspect list, you could not narrow it as you'd have to actually interact with these people, and if you did, you could only think of what that meant for you sister. You didn't have all the information the cops had gathered, in fact you had significantly less, the only thing you had that the cops didn't was relation.

You threw your head back and groaned, you were hoping the prof had done his job. Yes, you still called him prof, it hit you a few minutes after ringing out your clothes before getting in your car, he'd never told you his name. You felt an urge to go back and ask, knowing it was going to keep you up at night, but as much shit as you talked, you were not brave enough to face the wind and rain again.

You were waiting for it to start hailing, thanking your school for having rooftops over their car lots. Sure enough it did bug you, but what bugged you more was what his team would say. Would they help? Would they roll their eyes and state that she clearly just ran away? Your sister was 23, her birthday was around the corner, you were just a year younger, though your birthday had passed already.

You slide out of your car, breathing in the fresh air, hoping the wind was all you got tonight. You felt someone watching you, knew you were probably just tired. It had happened a few times, so you weren't too concerned.

You were early, not wanting to cause any disruption like the last time you were here. It was a Wednesday, but at this time, the school wasn't as crowded, sometimes, if you were desperate you parked in the teaches lot and hopes no one would pay too much attention.

Your nose picked up the scent of coffee again and you couldn't help the cheeky grin that spread across your face, nor the welling in your eyes. What would he say? Would his team take the case? Would they try helping anyway if they couldn't? Despite yourself, you couldn't help but hope.

When you popped your face in, there were a few students already settled. Some glanced at you, some were too distracted by their phones, none seemed to be much affected by your presense.

"Oh, there you are," came a deep and yet squeaky voice. You spun around, finding the prof behind you, he tightened his lips, averting his eyes from your every time you found his.

Your heart failed, they had denied it. You gulped and prepared yourself, "it's alright–"

"So, they took the case–"

He startled at your disappointment as you startled at his shifty eyes. "What?" Your voice seemed octave, "what do they think?"

"Well," he stepped away from the door and moved you along using ah hand on your back so that a student might get through. You wondered what they thought of you, probably incredibly confused as to why you were still here, having an intimate conversation with their professor after he had so easily confirmed his distaste of you just a few days ago.

"What happened?" You prompted, "just tell me, I can take it." You nodded assuredly.

He huffed, stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned his back adjacent the wall, "how long has your sister been missing?"

"December 21 will make it a full three months," you stated, "what does it matter?"

"They've agreed to take the case, but they're concerned," he started, "they–" a few students passed us and entered the classroom.

You glance down at your phone, "we can continue after class," you spun around without a word and entered the class, half wondering why in the world his team took the case, you were pretty sure–from what you gathered in your night lessons–FBI profilers, BAU agents, only dealt with serial killings. It was a long shot really, and you knew there were likely cases that rendered more serious, but you just could not pass up the offer.

You didn't want to question it, but you did, the prof ended class early and that's it, you thought, I need his name, calling him prof isn't going to do it anymore.

You collected your things slowly, waiting for the hall to empty. When it was, you headed for his desk at the corner of the room. "They never found a body?" He questioned as soon as you braced your hands against his desk, back pack discarded to the side on the floor.

"No," you shook your head, eyes determined, "if they did, my parents or I would have been called in to ID it." You were sure she was still alive, you could feel it.

"If they haven't found a body, there's a good chance she's still alive," he affirmed your suspicions, in any case, I'm not really suppose to be discussing this with you...but I think we're a little past that."

"I'm superman," you remind him, chuckling away the pain in your voice "only kryptonite can hurt me."

He smiled, genuinely, kindly, "they've already started working on it."

Your eyes widened, "already? The police reopened the case?"

He faltered slightly, "not exactly...but...we have skilled...team members."

"My lips are sealed," you mimed zipping your lips.

"Did you bring your suspect list?" You raised a brown and he smiled smugly, as if to say, "come on now."

You pulled your book bag onto his desk as he stood and brought around a stool that seemed to have materialized from thin air. You moved out the way and allowed him to set it down, murmuring a thank you as you took a seat.

He was dialing someone on his phone as you slid over your list, when the person answered, he put the phone on speaker, "hey, Garcia, I'm gonna need you to run background check on a list."

"What'doyou got for me, Doctor?" Came a woman's voice from the other side of the line.

Doctor? You squinted your eyes, watching the man in front of you. Accomplished, was the world that boiled in your mind, this man was incredibly accomplished, how old was he exactly? It made you wonder, honestly. You were in your last year of college, ready to go full time after this year, but not without your sister. You still had so much you wanted to do with her.

The phone call ended, you had tuned out the entire time, "you're skilled teammate, I suppose," you raised a brow, your lis quirked slightly upward.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd make a one hell of a profiler." He grinned back, eyes lingering.

Your heart thrummed in your chest, oh no, your subconscious screamed, but your conscious replied anyway, "and what do you know, Doctor?"

He snorted, "alright, first of all, it's Spencer, second of all," he lifted and pointed a finger at your clothing, "you stress easily, you clean up neater when you're trying to mask something, probably juggling being a full time student and full time rookie cop," his eyes dipped to your bag, where a pin of a true crime show you loved sat perfectly, "you have interest in crime, but you'd hate the profession because of the long hours." He reached for your bag and instead of stopping him, you watched, amazed,"you prefer alone time," he placed your current read in front of you, "which means you're most likely single and have been for while," he glanced at you momentarily, then went back to rummaging, "you listen to music when you're trying to focus," he set down your headphones and sets your bag to the side again, "and I can't prove it on my own, but I guarantee if you open your phone right now and look at your purchase history, it'll have more than the average orders spent at the coffee shop across from campus."

You nodded and gulped, "a magician."

He tilted his head with a crooked grin and raised and eyebrow, "no, it's–it's just–"

"–fucking awesome?" You asked, amazement written stark across your face.

"Yes," he cleared his throat, "well, anyway," he forced his gaze back down at the list in front of you when his phone rings.

It's the girl again, says a woman, Emily, had more information and thinks he may have a location. From what you got, your sister was most likely captured by a sex trafficking ring. Your heart sinks when you hear the new, hoping and praying they were able to find her, but you knew the probability, it had been months. "She could be half way across the world by now," your throat was raw and thick.

"Hey," Spencer placed his hand over yours, "it's going to be okay. I promise." But he didn't say they'd find her, he didn't say the probability of her being found at all could be a one in a million chance, and that's when you thought almost irritatingly, he is way too good at his job.

You stood outside the coffee shop a day later, watching the downpour of the day, huffing as you stepped inside the offered warmth of the shop. There was the usual barista at the counter, her smile genuine, "hey, I was just talking about you."

"Really?" You try for a smile, not wanting her to think your sour mood because of her.

"Yep, you want the usual?"

You nodded and stepped up to the counter, "actually can I add a chocolate croissant, too?"

"Sure thing," she rang you up and you sat down near a window to wait. Your fists strained against themselves, anger had racked your brain this morning. It was all you could think about, how you'd kill the people that hurt your sister, that could even think it okay–

You heard your name being called as the door to the coffee shop rung, you glanced up to see an odd looking abominable-Spencer, you snorted, "are you okay? What are you wearing?"

He approached you, his eyebrows scrunching in confusion as he shrugged off the giant, apparently rain- repellent coat, "it's a puffer jacket."

You smiled slightly, one of the realest smiles you've had since the kidnapping. "Did your team find something?" You asked as he placed the jacket on the chair across from you and sat down. You'd assumed so, since he had been the one to email you this morning during your fist class. The fog had cleared away, so you walked instead of driving, leading to regret as soon as you reached your destination, when the rain began to pour.

"Yes, actually," he nodded, "my...they found the drop off, where the gils were being held. You would have perked up if you didn't know what the look on his face meant.

"You didn't find her," you amended, an aching sadness falling over you. You thought it might have been because you'd spent all this time looking for her, trying to prove she wasn't a runaway, and you were so close. Even though you knew the probability of finding her was slim to none, you couldn't give up, your heart and mind wouldn't let you, as long as she lived, and she was alive, you'd never stop looking.

"They're interrogating a few of the..." he cleared his throat, noting the glistening of your wet cheeks. "They, they're also going over what the victims remember, hoping it'll give them some clue as to where...uh, the others were taken."

You gulp, nodding. For a second, you felt an urge to say her name, to tell him, but that wouldn't be fair, "thank you, for everything, Spencer."

"Of course," he frowned, without thinking his hand shot out and lifted your face, eyes darting over you, he was analyzing you.

Your lip quirked, "are you profiling me right now?"

His mouth hung ajar for a moment, eyes searching, then, "no, I've already done that."

You nod, "right, last night, you know my favorite book."

"That's not what I meant," he sighed, then, as if just no realizing, dropped your face so abruptly, you had to catch it. He leaned back, then stood, "I'm...gonna go order."

You nodded, your mind racing with the thoughts of your sister. How you just wanted to hold her hand one last time, press her against you, and tell her how sorry you were. That you didn't mean it, any of it. You had no idea where she'd gone after she'd left your apartment, she had just left.

The fight was stupid, it could have been avoided completely if you'd just been a little more understanding. You hated yourself for that, how could you be so selfish, it was just one person! It wasn't even a boy, it was her friend. Your reasoning may have been a little justified, but just because you didn't know this girl–your brain stopped. Your head shot up and you wiped your tears, waiting eagerly as Spencer sat back down.

"What?" He furrowed his brows, "what did you remember."

Damn him and his profiling skills, "there was a girl, that day, my sister and I had got into a fight, we have our own apartments, but mine's closer to campus, so when she's tired she'll usually crash at mine, sometimes with friends. I only had two rules for that, one there could be no more than 2 of her friends, and that I had to know them. But I didn't know her, and that's why we got into a fight." You take a breath as you ramble out all this information, "I'd thought it was strange, I even told the cops, but they brushed it off–she–she would have never done that. She never broke my rules, that's why I was so annoyed–" you murmur, "H, her name started something with an H, I think," then you remembered.

You told Spencer her name and he had his skilled teammate, Garcia, run that name through the universities system. Of course there were multiple, so you began trying to recall things that stood out.

"Got her," came the reply, "running background check, Rossi's on the other line, brb my sunshine," a click and the call was disconnected.

You stared in awe at the phone on the table, and then you grinned, you lifted your face and was met with an equally proud expression. Your order was called soon after and you stood to grab it. As you passed Spencer his arm shot out and halted you, you looked down at him questioningly, he opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and let you go, "it's nothing."

You nodded, a little nervously. You suppressed the butterflies in your stomach, this could only end one way, he was comfortable with you, he was helping you find your sister, the entire reason you'd began auditing his class. You had told him it wasn't for him and it wasn't, but what would be the point if now...

No, you would find your sister and cease contact with him, that'd b how this ended. I'm his superman, you thought, cringing slightly, and unfortunately I only have one weakness.

They'd did it, they'd found your sister. She was being rushed to the hospital and you and your parents were doing your best to contain your relief. You couldn't help but yell at them. "I told you so, I told you!"

You had emailed Spencer the good news, though he'd probably already knew. You emailed on sing your personal emails, seeing as the university monitored the ones on canvas.

The rush of excitement and thrill was frightening. The bags under your eyes would now disappear and you could sleep again without having nightmares.

"Where is she?" You all but screeched at the receptionist, your parents took assertion, and you let them. It was evident, even to you that you were not in the right state of mind, nor were you physically great. It had taken them four days. Four days to find your sister, all this time you were out searching, it felt like a waste of time.

You couldn't face her, you took a step back, terrified of her reaction. As your parents rushed to the elevators, you stayed where you stood. You ignored their calls to you, you face unreadable in their eyes. As the elevator door shut, your took a shuddering breath. The hospital was full, which didn't seem unusual for the staff, but it was too loud for you.

Too loud, you wanted to scream, and cry, and break down, but you didn't deserve that. Not after all your sister went through.

"Hey, hey, hey," calm and gentle, his voice tugged at you like a life raft. You turned as and soon as you met his eyes the tears fell, you let out a loud wale as he wrapped you in his arms.

"She was–over two months!"

"Shh, shh," he rubbed your back and cradled your neck, you buried your face into his shoulder, "hey, it's not your fault," his voice went high for a second and then lowered again. You heart boomed in your chest–you loved that about him. The uncertainty in his voice, the way he didn't know if what he said was going to make the situation better or worse. In the single four days you had known him on a more personal level, he had grown and grown like a weed.

His presence made everything just a little bit bearable. Why, you didn't know, but you could not do this to him. You could not be the person he comforted on a daily basis because that's just what he expected of you, why he was weary and displeased with you in the first place. You could not feel this way about him, especially because it was almost mad–again you hadn't known his name more than three days.

"What did you mean?" You asked suddenly, pulling away, "when you said you had profiled me before?"

He pressed his lips together and used his thumb to wipe the tears that kept streaming down your cheek, the lights in the hospital seemed to dim and the nose seemed to filter out, "it's nothing, it doesn't matter now."

"It matters to me," you pressed, and then you thought his eyes held warning and you hated yourself all over again. "Right," you unlatched yourself from him, feeling caught it a lie, "I, I should go. Thank you for," you chuckled out a cry, but not for your sister, for you stupidity, and possibly the lost of your just formed friendship, "my families waiting."

He nodded and took–what seemed to you a bigger than necessary–step back. "See you later, then, superman."

You stifled a new set of tears and forced a smile to your face, and turned around, your face instantly falling. You stepped into the elevator, hyper aware of his eyes still watching you. You clicked the button, any button, just fo the door to shut and kept your head down, and when the doors closed, you fell to the floor, wrapping your arms around yourself.

A few floors later, you found your sisters and your parents. She was in bad shape, she had bruises all over her body, you watched your parents stand over her bed, trying to talk with her. It was okay at first, until the doctors brought out a rape kit, you just...you couldn't watch that. You needed air, you headed back toward the the elevator, your eyes rimmed red with crying and dark with the lack of sleep.

When you the elevator opened on the first floor, you kept your head down and your arms wrapped tightly around you, you walked swiftly toward the exist, too wrapped in your emotions to notice the person following you.

Once outside, you headed toward the side, where a small playground sat. You didn't know if you wanted children or not yet, or maybe you did want them, you couldn't think straight. The darkened playground comforted you. You found yourself coming face to face with a rock wall. Not too tall, but challenging enough for 10 year olds. You smiled to yourself and climbed until you reached the top, which was pretty disappointing, but it got you off the ground.

"I hope you're not thinking of jumping," his voice startled you, what was he doing here?

"Didn't you go home?" You questioned, you calfs coming face to face with the top of his head.

"I thought about it," he admits, his hand running along the wall, stopping as it finds one to grip, "but then I remembered," he hauled himself upward, "a friend I made just recently," he grunts as he pulls himself upward one final time, leaving a small space between you, "likes to watch the rain."

"What?" You your voice quivered as the word floated from your lips, but you were smiling...slightly.

He cleared is throat and held out his wrist, "one...two..."

You cleared your throat, trying to make is a bit firmer, "why are you counting–"

There, just the tiniest drop of water fell into you eye, you wiped it away, turning to him with widened eyes, "why didn't you stop me?"

You brace your hands against the rock to jump off, but Spencer stops you, grabbing you wrist, he called your name once and you made the mistake of looking into the big, brown, puppy dog eyes.

Soaked were you a few second later, Spencer too, though you weren't sure if that made up for it. There were no stars, clouds blocked them from your view. You smacked him on his chest shouting through the rain, "what the hell, Spencer?!"

"Technically, Hell is considered insanely hot by many of its believers!" He replies, earning another smack, this time to the shoulder, a laughing fit entangles the both of you as the rain fell around you and after a moment of absolute madness, you caught his eyes and you wondered if this meant what you thought it meant–what you couldn't stop your heart from hoping this meant.

"Thank you," you shouted once more, finding the courage to lean against him. It was odd, the colder you physically got, the warmer your mentally grew.

"Anytime, superman," he brushed strands of wet hair out of your face and you knew, you just knew what you felt, but it's not real, not to him. You were superman and Achilles said it best, "They never let you be famous and happy," and you knew how that story ended.

The weather seemed to ease up this morning, you were happy, two weeks had gone by and your sister was back at home in time to celebrate her birthday. You stopped auditing classes and seminar's, but you still found reasons to email Spencer. Yeah, you still emailed him, if he wanted you to have his number, he'd give it to you or ask for yours–besides, yo9u had grown fond of this way of communication, leaving everyone off with sincerely yours, superman.

He didn't seem to mind and alway replied instantly, he had become one of your closest friends, which awkwardly wasn't hard because–as he had stated previously, you preferred your alone time, which was a nicer way to say you didn't have many friends, but you didn't mind at all.

"Are you texting him?" Came your sister's question as she hopped next to you, wrapping an arm around you, leaning over your shoulder to get a better look at your screen.

"God–no," you grinned, standing up, pulling the phone out of her reach. "And it's emailing," you grumbled, heading into the kitchen.

"Emailing," she widened her eyes, following you to your kitchen, "honestly, I don't why you bother."

"He's more comfortable this way."

She took a sip of orange juice, nodding, "mm, right," she set the glass down, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed, "because he's the hot professor girls were swooning over."

"It was harassment," you pointed out.

"Oh, right," she nodded, "and you just happen to come into his life at the perfect time." She put a hand over her forehead, "my savior, my superman." She giggle as you through a jolly rancher at her.

She dodged, "ow hey–those things hurt!"

You snorted, "mmhm."

"Ssss," she hissed holding her side.

Your rushed to her, worried eyes raking up and down her body to find the cause, "hey, are you sure you're fine? We don't have to go out tonight, like I said, Mom and Dad don't think it's a good idea either."

"H-hey," she laughed, but it was pained; you helped her get to her feet again, brushing a lock behind her face, "come one, I've been through hell and back, that basically means I'm invincible now."

You frowned, then smiled softly when she met your eyes, "okay, okay fine. But the second you seem off, we're coming home."

She nodded, "it's just an arcade, what worse could possibly happen that hasn't happened already?"

You frowned, glancing away, and bracing your wrists against the kitchen counter, "if you say so..."

She ran to your room and began picking out outfits, a few of her friends were meeting you at the arcade. You were kind of there to keep an eye on her, you still hadn't apologized for kicking her out that day with the girl–that witch. Too many times did you have dreams about wrapping you hands around her neck and squeezing until there was nothing left but dust.

You vowed to have Spencer have his tech genius friend, Garcia, run backgrounds on all of her friends moving forward. No one was safe anymore. Of course, you kept that bit to yourself.

"Come on, we're going to be late!" Your sister grabbed your arm, tugging you toward the front door, for a moment, your mind took you back to the day in the coffee shop around three weeks ago, when Spencer had grabbed your arm, he'd looked like he wanted to say something, and that was the first moment you realized you might've had a crush on him.

You frowned, feeling bitter about it. It was a shitty thing, a shitty thing for you to do, but you supposed you could not exactly control your emotions like you'd wished.

The day was clear and so far, the night was too, three of your sister's friends, ones you knew well and had more than once crashed at your apartment before, had met up with the two of you.

They headed into the arcade, getting halted do to a line. They pouted and poked fun at each other for almost running into a few children. It was a good time so far, and you were having fun, if not for you sake, for your sister's all the more, but there was an ache. Something was missing and you could feel it.

"You know," your sister fell back, letting the entrance to the arcade go, "he told me everything." You jolted, your gaze jerked watching her saddened expression. She watched the concrete, "you never stopped trying to find me," she lifted her gaze then, eyes sparking and frown flipping, "I guess he thought I should know because he probably knew you'd be too scared to tell me yourself."

Was she talking about Spencer? You couldn't breath, of course she was, who the hell else was there?

"Thank you," your heart melted at her words and tears sprang in your eyes, "and I forgive you, so don't worry about it. Besides, you're not the only one to blame." She threw her head back and snorted at herself, "I broke a rule, you've had them since the beginning. So don't be too hard on yourself okay?"

Her eyes caught on something behind you and her face lit up, "Spencer! Hey, glad you could make it."

He huffed, glancing down at you while you stared up at him in complete awe. "Magician," you murmured, his gaze settling on you for a second, "no, it's just me." He turned back to your sister, mouthing a 'thank you', then, "and happy 24th birthday."

"I should be thanking you, this way, she won't be analyzing everything I do."

The threw her head back and laughed, then slide through the door and found her friends in line again.

"Spencer?" You raised a brow, a half chuckle leaving your mouth, "what are you doing here?"

"Well," he stuffs his hands in his pockets, "I have...skilled teammates..." came his response.

"And that includes my sister?"

"No, no," he waved off, "I just was able to get her number." You raised a brow and he held his hands up. "After speaking with her in person–I thought she should know how much you cared–she invited me," he threw his hands up slightly, "here."

You connected the dots easily, this must have been after you'd told her about the people that found her, after you had told her a little more about the rude turned friend professor. Your cheeks burned, though the darkness hid it. As much as you loved and wanted to be around him constantly, it also hurt you, and you hated being around him because you knew, you knew you couldn't feel this way about him.

Except you did and you were bad at hiding it.

"What's that?" He sniffed at the air, turning around and walking toward the edge of the sidewalk, where concrete met blacktop, "it's...rain."

You threw your head back and groaned, "you're kidding."

"Nope," he laughed, holding out his hand where trickles began to fall.

"I have got to have the absolute worst luck," you huffed, smacking your hands to your cheeks.

"That," Spencer said, stepping in front of you, "or," he palmed your hands, pulling them away from your face, eye tracing every line–

"Please don't tell me your'e about to say something sappy." You cringed, then popped open one eye when he stayed silent.

He was huffing, trying to hold in his laughter, "no, no I'm just gonna," he leaned in, hands finding your face, and he kissed you. You'd thought about what it would be like and a few times you even caught yourself day dreaming about it, he smelled like coffee and rain, just how you preferred, and this was real.

Every part of you on fire, despite the wind that started pulling at the trees. Rain poured over you and you jolted, screeching, "no!"

Spencer laughed at you trying to pull him to safety, "what-what? Why?"

"Not this time," you grinned up at him.

"But–but that was the best part," he whined playfully, jabbing a thumb behind his shoulder, still letting you pull him by his hand under the roof of the arcade sidewalk. "I–I thought you loved the rain?" His voice went high, the low again, the way it always did when he was joking or nervous.

"I love watching the rain, I don't like to be in the rain." You corrected.

"But I love being rained on with you," he murmured, tilting his head; his big brown puppy dog eyes shining with affection.

"Maybe next time, Doctor," you huffed a laugh and he held the door open, and you stepped a small spin to walk in, using his arm as a dome.

a/n: (please let me know if there are any grammatical errors) I am so sorry I honestly did not mean for it to be this long when I thought of the idea, but when I began writing, I realized it would be way longer than I intended and actually is now my longest fic I have ever written. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it <3

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freyadragonlord · 9 months ago

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One of my favourite things about the end of The S-Classes That I Raised novel (major spoilers ahead),

is the realisation that the reason why Yoojin and Hyunjae's relationship looks so much like a love story at times is because it actually, honestly is.

Like, we know that sctir is a novel about love since the beginning, that's not surprising. Yoojin's capability for loving monsters (both literal monsters and the human kind) and the power of that love is at the centre of the plot.

But by the time you get to the end, you realise - and the author confirms this themselves in their final Note - that Yoojin's relationship and love for 2 specific people was the true core of the story, and what allows him to save the world in the end:

One is, of course, Yoohyun.

And that love is absolute; you cannot say that it's inevitable, cause we know Yoojin had to make a choice when he was a child between Yoohyun and his parents, and he almost chose his parents, but from the moment he decided to love Yoohyun onward, then it was unconditional and eternal. It's the love of a brother, but also the love of a parent and a caretaker.

And the other person is Sung Hyunjae.

And that love is not unconditional nor inevitable or absolute at all. It's not something that can be taken for granted. We actually see, because of how it ended between them before the regression, and thanks to the White Bird's power of seeing possible futures, that there were so many timelines where Yoojin and Hyunjae would have never come to care about each other fully (tho they are always at least somewhat interested in each other, because their personalities are actually really compatible).

But the White Bird also sees that the only possible future where the world is saved is the one where they love and hold on to each other. And that is how the story goes!

So, just like a romance novel, the necessary end is the one where they both love each other and accept that love. And it's not easy to get there! It's a slow burn.

From meeting to getting to know each other, appreciating each other's skills and intelligence, finding out they have fun together but still not trusting each other, to working on building that trust.

They go from a strong but superficial mutual interest to actually caring about each other as people.

Yoojin has to go through the self-doubt of feeling inferior and fearing that Hyunjae will lose interest in him. Hyunjae has to learn to stop pushing Yoojin away because he doesn't know how to handle having someone he cares about so much, and also someone that cares about him, because nobody in the world (except in part Song Taewon) likes Sung Hyunjae as a person, he is only ever admired from afar.

And in the end, after going through ups and downs and a few "break-up arcs", they make it. They accept their own feelings and each other's feelings.

And that's when Yoojin makes the choice to use the power that the transcendents gave him at the very beginning of the novel, to save Hyunjae. Not the world. Not even Yoohyun! Just Sung Hyunjae!

Yeah, the whole "gather 50 S-Class people", the very thing that gives the novel its title. That is not a power that is used to save the world!! It was meant to, but Yoojin is "selfish", and he will always choose to save the people close to him first.

And being able to love someone so selfishly gives Yoojin the power to save the whole world, too. As a bonus! A reward. Just a side effect.

So yeah. Is it romantic love? No. Canonically, there's almost no romantic love in the whole novel.

But is it a love story?? Yeah. Absolutely it is.

#these are my midnight thoughts #have a lot of feelings for them #870 chapters of “why do they have so many romance tropes lmao”#to realise that it is 100% the whole point of the story #reading the side story now #happy to report hyunjae continues to be hopelessly and shamelessly in love #sctir #sctir spoilers #the s classes that i raised #s classes that i raised #s classes that i raised spoilers #the s ranks that i raised #my s class hunters #jinjae #han yoojin #sung hyunjae

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talaok · 1 year ago

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Movie night

Summary: Peter's coming over for your weekly movie night, and you’ve decided you wanna confess your feelings for him, but as it turns out, he has similar plans

Warnings: Smut| unprotected p in v sex, praising, soft!Dom Peter

a/n: thanks to this request I might go back into my Peter Parker era honestly. Also, @wtvbabes (this is not the person that made the request)

It was time for the weekly movie night with Peter,

You had been doing it for so long that you didn't even remember how or when it started, it was now simply a part of your routine.

Every Friday night, at 6 o'clock you went to whatever house was free, ordered pizza, and watched a movie each of you had chosen.

It was routine, so you shouldn't have been nervous... except that this time, this time wasn't gonna be like the other times, this time you had made a promise to yourself that you were finally gonna come clean, that you were finally gonna confess your feelings.

You had been keeping it a secret for way too long, and you were tired... god, were you tired, it was exhausting pretending like you didn't want more, like you didn't wanna kiss him and hold his hand every time you were together, and perhaps it was the holiday spirit surrounding you, or perhaps it was the fact that Gemma, your other best friend, had given you a 30-minute talk about how you should just "stop being a little bitch and tell him already" after you had started your usual ramble about how perfect and great Peter was,

But you had made peace with yourself, if this was gonna ruin your entire friendship, if you were gonna lose him forever, then so be it, because at the end of the day, if you couldn't have him like you really wanted to, then there was no point in having him at all.

And just then, when you were repeating your script to the mirror for the thousandth time, the words coming out of your mouth not even making sense anymore, he knocked at the door.

For some reason, a gasp fled your throat, but after the familiar "hey, it's me" from the other side of the door all you could do was take a deep breath and fix your dress.

It's all gonna be ok, it's all gonna be ok

"hi" you smiled, opening the door

Your anxiety must have been all over your face because the way he frowned at you told you everything you needed to know.

"hi" he said, coming into the house as he inspected your face "is something wrong?" he asked "Please don't tell me your sister changed the password to her Netflix again"

You forced a smile to your lips "no, no everything is fine- let's just... sit down"

"ok..." he frowned, following you as you sat on the couch "did something happen, or-"

"no" you shut him down "I-I just wanted" You shook your head as you regretted your choice of words "no actually, I need to- uhm- to tell you something"

You watched his eyes widen slightly, but out of all the things he could have said, he chose the only one that made you even fucking more anxious.

"Really?" he smiled "That's funny 'cause I do too"

You swore you felt your heart stop beating.

What could he ever need to tell you?

"w-what?"

Your voice didn't even sound like your own, it was just fear and stress finding a way to come out of your body.

"yeah" he nodded, watching you closely "so... you wanna go first or..."

"no, no, you go first" you spit out, making him chuckle

He still didn't get why you were acting so weird, but to be perfectly transparent, he was kind of freaking out internally himself, so he didn't really have the brain capacity to investigate further.

"Alright" he laughed "I'll go first"

His eyes focused behind you for a moment as he prepared for whatever was coming, and just then, did you notice that perhaps you weren't the only nervous one.

What is it?

Did something happen

Oh god, did he find a girlfriend?

Your heart was beating out of your chest and then just like that, he came out and said: "Y/n I like you" with a hopeful smile on his face, while yours completely stilled.

Actually not just your face, you as a whole went completely still, frozen at the words that had just come out of his mouth

Did I just imagine that?

Am I dreaming or something?

What the actual fuck is going on?

That was supposed to be my lin-

"y/n are you there?"

He was talking to you, you realized.

"w-w-what?" your eyes were wide open in shock

"I know" he smiled, scratching the back of his neck, "I know it's out of the blue, and I really really hope this won't ruin anything, but... I've been feeling like this for a long time about you, and I just- I needed to tell you"

And then you could do nothing, absolutely nothing but throw your arms around him, hugging him so tight he probably couldn't breathe.

"y/n?" he murmured, hugging you back, but before he could say anything else you leaned away, still holding onto him as if he were a life jacket, and smiled like an idiot.

"I like you too Peter-" you grinned "I really really like you"

The smile on his face now matched yours, as his eyes sparked with joy

"you do?"

"of course I do!" you almost yelled from the excitement "that's-that's what I wanted to tell you! I can't believe this"

You looked into each other's eyes, both incredulous and unbelievably happy altogether,

you were so close, but an inch between your faces, that what happened next was inevitable.

His lips were on yours,

his lips were on yours and they felt every bit as good as you had spent hours and hours imagining.

And then for a moment, you both leaned away, looking at each other as soft silly laughs fled your throats.

"i can't believe this is real" he breathed, melting your heart right into a puddle

"I can't either"

And then his lips were back on yours, but this time... this time he was hungrier.

His tongue was exploring your mouth, and his hands were one holding your face, while the other started roaming your body, pulling soft whimpers from you as your arms remained locked behind his neck, your left hand gently playing with his hair,

And then in no time, without a clue of how or when, you were lying on the couch, and he was on top of you, his legs parting your thighs.

And you didn't need to know when it had happened, because all you knew was that you liked it, god you really fucking liked it.

His whole broad and strong body was engulfing yours, his scent was all around you, his hands were everywhere, and his mouth... his mouth was simply heavenly.

As embarrassing as it was, you couldn't control your body as you started grinding down onto his leg to try and relieve some of the need pooling between your legs.

"please" you pleaded, whimpering softly into the kiss.

"I like it when you beg, sweetheart"

And if you wanted him before, you now needed him

His lips moved to your neck, starting a slow trail from just below your ear, down until he found your shirt as an obstacle.

You didn't need to be told twice and helped him take it off of you in a second.

Your bra wasn't far behind.

"god, you're so beautiful" he praised, making you blush

he bent down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking on it while his other hand played with the other one, making you lose your goddamn mind as you shut your eyes in ecstasy.

"oh my god" you moaned, one of your hands going to his hair as he switched up the breast he was taking care of.

Your panties were completely drenched

He continued his work as his hands traveled underneath your skirt, caressing your thighs in a way that was turning you into a putty mess in his hands.

His fingers gripped the edge of the fabric, and with the help of you raising your hips, only the sheer fabric of your panties divided him from where you begged for his attention

"Peter" you called, stopping him as he had seated himself in between your legs

"yes, sweetheart?"

"I-I've only ever done this once"

His features softened and one of his hands traveled to your face to cup your cheek as he left a soft kiss on your lips

"don't worry, I'll go slow," he promised "I'll take care of everything, you just relax, ok?"

"ok" You nodded softly "I trust you"

He smiled at that, kissing you again "Thank you"

And no more than a few seconds after that, you were completely bare before him.

"you're perfect sweetheart" he murmured "fucking perfect"

He left a kiss on your pussy, making you moan, before his lips were on you again, and you were more desperate than you had ever been.

Your hands gripped the fabric of his shirt, frantically trying to get it off of him.

"Peter please take this off"

He didn't need to be told twice.

His shirt was on the floor with the rest of your clothes in no time, and then came his pants.

He went back to kissing you, the kiss now a heated mess between your moans and his hunger.

"baby please" you whined, your hand going to his boxers

"what do you want sweetheart?"

"you, please, all of you"

Your voice was so thin and so breathy it was almost incomprehensible

"what about me?" he asked, his mouth next to your ear "You want my cock sweetheart, is that what you want?"

"yes" you moaned, as his hand played with your clit "I'm begging you, please, I need you inside of me"

He freed his cock from the confines of his briefs, as he kept kissing your neck

"you're gonna be good?" he asked, his tip now collecting all your juices and making you squirm uncontrollably "you're gonna be good and take all of it?"

"yes" you breathed "yesplease, yes-"

And without so much as a warning, he had started to push into you

"told you I like hearing you beg"

You moaned so loud you surprised even yourself, and then he retracted his hips and pushed another inch of himself in you, and you were just about ready to die.

"O-oh my god, P-peter" you moaned

He made the same motion again, and you couldn't help but look down at where your bodies were meeting, and that's when you noticed,

"fuck you're so big" you breathed, watching as he thrust only half of his dick inside of you

"it's ok" he purred, kissing your neck sloppily "Just be a good girl and take it" he ordered, pushing in again "Take it all inside this tight little pussy"

A high-peached moan fled your mouth again, as your pussy stretched around him,

"just like that," he said, his hot breath fanning over your skin "That's a good girl"

He was now fully inside you, by some miracle, he had made himself fit, and he felt absolutely perfect.

"fuck you feel so good" he groaned, picking up his pace "so tight" he grunted, feeling your walls squeeze him better than anything ever before "like you were made for me" his thrusts somehow felt deeper now, resulting in even more moans and cries coming out of your mouth

"O-oh god" you whimpered, feeling him hit and hit and hit again that perfect spot inside of you.

"You're taking me so well sweetheart"

The couch was now shaking with each of his movements, while your brain had stopped working and all you could do was cry out as he brought heaven to you.

"look at you" he murmured, kissing your mouth "So beautiful" he praised "so fucking pretty" he groaned, as your walls tightened around him "squeezing me so good"

His thrusts were so fucking deep you could feel them in your belly, and your orgasm was inevitably approaching

"such a good girl"

A louder moan left your throat at that, and he definitely noticed

"you like it when I call you that?" he asked, smirking devilishly "You like hearing that you're my good girl?"

Again, another cry, followed by a frantic nod now.

Your ability to talk had been lost a while ago.

"It's just what you are" he purred in your ear now "You're my good girl y/n, only mine"

And that, that sent you definitively over the edge.

A series of cries and moans resembling his name came out of your mouth as the best orgasm of your life took over your body completely.

He waited for you to come down from your high before he pulled out of you, spilling his seed all over your belly not a second later.

"fuck" he muttered, his head falling to the crook of your neck

You stayed there for a moment, waiting for your heartbeats and breathing to calm down,

And only then, only after you spent five minutes in the most comfortable silence, did he lean away to look at you.

"I love you, Peter"

You couldn't stop yourself from saying it, it was just the truth

And not a beat had passed, that he had already answered

"I love you, y/n"

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ultravi0lence14 · 1 month ago

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Butterfly

sam winchester x angel!reader

1k | fluff, fem pronouns

summary: you and sam were complete opposites of each other, and sam had no idea how a gorgeous, pure girl like you could even chose him in the first place.

sam sometimes just stared at you when you weren’t looking, wondering how he got so lucky in finding a girl like you.

you were so sweet, someone sam thought his wretched soul wasn’t worthy of. he’s got demon blood running through his veins, the vessel of lucifer himself. why would you — an angel as pure as snow — even remotely look his way.

that was the funny thing with you angels though. you guys always saw the best in people.

before you touched down from heaven, you had learned the copious stories of the winchester brothers lives. how their mother died, springing them into the hunting life. their tragic upbringing, and how their father raised them poorly. but most importantly, you learned about the youngest.

sam winchester. the boy with demon blood. every angel you spoke to said he was an abomination, but you thought differently.

this wasn’t sam’s fault. he was a defenceless baby, having this curse brought forth onto him by his mother’s actions long before his conception. sam was a victim, a child forced into this life with no say whatsoever; and you felt like the only angel who truly saw it like that.

when you had made it to earth, cordially meeting both sam and dean for the first time, you wondered why your brother’s and sister’s talked so poorly about the man.

he truly was a friendly giant. too sweet for his own good. he cared. about people he didn’t know, his brother especially, and all the strangers he came across on hunts with dean.

watching him console a victim for the first time tugged on your heart strings. he was so kind, so thoughtful and unlike anything said about him up in heaven. it was at that moment you felt your first human emotion. a surge of fondness rushing up your body like bile coming up your throat.

for a fleeting moment, you experienced what human love was truly like.

as time moved forward, you and sam got closer and closer. more often than not, you decided to stay back and research with him instead of going out with dean and cas. you talked with him, learning about his childhood from his mouth and truly understanding the full truth and severity of his life growing up.

the day that he kissed you for the first time was magical, better than the feeling of all angel grace combined. he was nervous, hands shaking as the cupped your face and shyly asking if this is what you wanted.

of course you wanted it. you wanted sam winchester since the moment you saw him, and now you were finally getting what you hoped for.

just as you believed, sam truly was the perfect boyfriend. he was caring and considerate, always willing to drop anything and everything to make sure you were okay. though he was also tough and protective, turning full hunter mode whenever someone bothered you or made you uncomfortable.

one thing you loved was how he spoke to you. he held you at the highest point in his mind, addressing you with the upmost love and respect that he could muster.

because that is how he really saw you. sam in his heart believed that you were possibly the most gorgeous being he’d ever laid his eyes on. you were truly the apple of his eye, and he wouldn’t dream of letting someone as perfect as you go.

he even called you his butterfly. a gorgeous creation of God that flys around and somehow always lands somewhere on him. which was true, because you were a very clingy person.

you two were always holding hands, arms linked, or sam’s arm wrapped around your waist or shoulder. dean had to stop himself from hurling 24/7, and you had to stop yourself from getting cartoonish hearts in your eyes whenever you looked at him.

the peace and serenity that you brought to sam’s life was all he could ever ask for. when you decided to take up drawing and painting, he cherished the times you two would find an empty space, setting down a picnic blanket and drawing whatever your heart desired surrounded by nature.

when he joined you for the first time, and you handed him over a intricately detailed drawing of him sitting down at that very moment, eyes opened and staring woefully at the large trees and flowers surrounding him, he couldn’t help but let a couple tears fall.

“oh no,” you had exclaimed, sitting up on your knees so you could get nearer to him. “you don’t like it, do you?”

he instantly snapped his head towards you, watching as tears filled your bright coloured eyes. his heart shattered staring into your glassy irises, and he cursed himself for ever making you feel like that.

shaking his head and putting down your sketchbook so he could cup your face, sam pulled you over to him so you were delicately perched in his lap. eye’s boring into his as he delicately stroked your cheek.

“i love it butterfly. that is the prettiest drawing i have ever seen. even prettier cause it was made by you.” his cheesy words made you blush, not caring in the slightest how silly you two probably looked to on lookers. with your finger reaching out to trace the slope of his nose, you looked at him with a soft smile on your face, pouring your heart into one look. “you mean that?”

“of course i do.” his eyes held that glossy puppy dog look you loved so dearly, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. “i am not trying to sound cheesy when i say this, but you truly are the best thing that ever happened to me, butterfly. you’re the one of the only one’s who believed in me.”

his words brought a gleeful smile on your face. and as the midday sun trickled across his, you thanked your father for whatever he did to make you and sam come together.

#supernatural #dean winchester #imagine #sam winchester #supernatural x reader #fluff #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester oneshot #sam winchester fanfiction

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iluvmattsbeard · 8 months ago

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so high school (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: nothing but fluff

preview: Matt and his friends were seniors in high school, they decided to play a game of kiss, marry, kill in class. when it was Matt’s turn, his friend adds you in the mix. he never quite noticed you before and when he did, he was intrigued. you were two opposites. he ended up passing notes to you in class. you never expected the outcome from all of this.

a/n: this is a long one but, I loved writing it. I saw someone on here ask to write a fic based off so high school. which, I attempted to do! this is my take of how I pictured it in my head. I forgot who it was who posted about it but if you’re the person, here’s my version!

it was almost the end of the school day, Matt was sat down at a table full of his friends. it was technically a free period since testing was held today. "let's play a game." his close friend Nate suggests. "what kind of game?" Chris asks curiously. "kiss marry kill." Nate responds with a grin. it caught Matt's attention, speaking up, "that's a childish game." the group laughs before Nate speaks up again, "well we have nothing better to do." the group looks at Matt, "what do you say? you in?" Nate adds on. "I guess i'll participate." Matt says fixing his posture. "okay who will start?" Nick joins in.

after a few rounds, the boys were laughing from the answers that had passed. it was finally Matt's turn, Chris ended up giving him the options, "okay let's see..." he says looking around the class, "Chloe, Madison, and..." he continues looking and lands his eyes on a girl resting her head on her palm as she read a book, "her I guess." Chris adds on. Matt looks at the girl and tilts his head a bit, "what's her name?" he asks.

"I think it's Y/n." Nick responds looking at you. you lift your head a bit from the sound of your name being said, "Nick, you're too loud." Chris whispers. you just ignored it and continued to read the book in front of you. Matt starts to play the game as he chose you to kill, "I only put her in that spot because I don't know her." he explains. the bell rings and everyone started to get up, including you. you shut your book and placed it in your back pack. Matt got up taking glances at you. you were wearing a white cardigan with jeans. your hair was half way up and half way down. you zipped up your back pack and put it on one of your shoulders only.

before you walk out, you catch a glimpse of Matt's gaze and you smile a bit at him, which he does back, then you walk out. Matt then picked up his back pack and put it on heading out as well. he walked to his car with his brothers and got in buckling up. "you guys don't know anything else about that Y/n girl?" Matt asks causing Nick to raise an eyebrow, "no, why?" he questions while Chris looks at Matt curious as well. "nothing I was just wondering. I thought I knew everyone in that class." he says starting the car. "she just keeps to herself that's why. no one wants to bother her I guess." Nick says. Matt just nods and drives out from the school parking lot.

the next day, your eyes were focused on your computer as you did the assignment for today. Matt was still curious about you, from yesterday's small smiles at each other, he wanted to take the opportunity to get to know you. he took out his notebook and a pencil as he started to write. after he was done, he ripped it out from the notebook and folded it. "hey." he says tapping the girl in front of him, "can you pass it to her?" Matt says looking at you. the girl he asked was behind you. she nods and takes the note, tapping your shoulder. you turn around and look at the folded paper. "it's from Matt." she whispers using her thumb to point behind her. you take the note and turn back around to open it.

'hey, I know you don't know me but, I also don't know you so, I was wondering if you wanted to get to know each other? I found it odd that I know everyone else in here except for you.' - Matt

you smile a bit from the note and pick up your pencil writing back. you handed it back to the girl and she passed it back to Matt.

'hi i'm Y/n. that's really out of the blue but, sure. i'd like to get to know you. also, yeah I get that a lot.' - Y/n

Matt smiles and writes back explaining how he even found out about you. you guys were passing notes the whole class which, the girl in between you ended up switching seats with Matt so he could pass the notes himself.

'so I was apart of your kiss marry kill?' - Y/n

'yeah but don't worry, my choice for you was not personal.' - Matt

you giggle softly to yourself. the bell ended up ringing and you guys left it off at that. you packed your stuff and turned around to give him the same soft smile from yesterday before walking out. for the rest of the day, Matt could not stop thinking about you. "what's on your mind?" Nick asks him. "oh nothing." Matt responds smiling. Chris and Nick just look at each other in a weird way.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

the weekend was finally over and Matt couldn't already wait to get to his last class. when the time comes, he was about to sit down behind you but the teacher stops him. "Matt." Mrs. Dean speaks up causing the boy to stop in his tracks and turn around, "yes?" he asks. "we need to talk about your grade in this class. I heard you aren't doing so well in other classes as well?" she says pulling up his grades. you couldn't help but have the conversation catch your attention as you unzipped your back pack. "Matt, you have to raise these grades or else you'll be suspended from the lacrosse game in a month." the teacher says making Matt's eyes widen, "what? how could I raise my grades that quickly?" he asks. "I don't know Matt but it's possible. you have to really put in the work." she says. Matt just sighs and nods, going to sit at his desk. as time goes by, you turn around and place a note in front of him which makes him look at you and smile a bit.

'I can help you raise your grades if you'd like.' - Y/n

he smiles even more reading it. he immediately writes back taking you on the offer.

'if it's not too much of a hassle, i'd gladly accept your help.' - Matt

'well I did come up with the idea so, it wont be a hassle.' - Y/n

'can I get your number?' - Matt

you ended up writing down your phone number and he thanks you in his actual voice. he started to realize, he hasn't heard your voice, so when you spoke up to say 'you're welcome', he felt his heart start to race a bit. your voice was soft and comforting in a way. even though you only said two words to him.

the next day, you and Matt meet up at one of the picnic tables in the courtyard. "hey." Matt says with a smile walking up to sit in front of you. you smile back, "hi Matt." you greet him. "I'm going to warn you right now, I have a bunch of missing assignments." he says opening his back pack. you let out a soft laugh, "that's fine. you have a month to get it all done. plus, you have extra hands to help you." you reassure him. he smiles and nods, "thank you again." he says pulling out the pile of papers he had inside his back pack. your eyes widen a bit and laugh a bit, "don't thank me yet. we haven't started." you respond while looking at the stack. you both laugh at the same time.

you two have been tackling his missing work for a few days now until one day, he tells you something, "Y/n?" you look up at him and respond, "yes?" "I still want to get to know you better." he says making you look at him with a smile, "well..." you start off, putting your pencil down, "what do you want to know?" he puts down his pencil as well before he speaks, "just tell me stuff that makes you, well you." you laugh a bit before nodding, "well I barely moved to Massachusetts the beginning of senior year, i'm an only child, I enjoy reading in my free time, and let's see..." you pause for a bit. Matt was just sitting there, very drawn to you as you speak. "I don't really know what else I could say." you say with a soft laugh. Matt joins in laughing before he speaks, "I guess I just have to spend more time with you to get more from you." you smile nervously and look away, "well, let's focus on getting this work done." Matt adds on which you agree to.

since you began to help Matt, his friends have been wondering why he's been distant. he was constantly with you and he never told his friends about you. as you guys sat there, his group of friends walk over and tease him, "what is this?" Nate asks with a foolish smile. Matt rolls his eyes and looks at the group, "what are you guys doing here?" he asks. "the question is, what are you doing here? with..." Nate looks at you, "Y/n right?" Nate asks. you nod in silence feeling awkward, "Y/n is helping me complete my missing assignments so I could raise my grades. if I don't raise them, I won't be able to play the lacrosse game coming up." Matt says. Chris widens his eyes, "what? why didn't you tell us?" he asks. "you guys weren't going to be able to help me so Y/n offered." Matt responds looking at you.

"you still could've told us." Nick says before looking at you, "I'm Nick by the way." you smile and greet him back, "nice to meet you." "are you sure you guys are only studying? I mean Matt talks about y-." Chris was cut off by Matt, "okay guys. me and Y/n still have lots to do." the group of boys nod and say their goodbyes, walking away. Matt shakes his head and focuses his eyes on the text book in front of him. you look at him and laugh, "you talk about me?" you ask. he looks up and takes a tiny gulp, "he was just teasing us." Matt tries to cover up from the truth. you just nod, "okay I believe you." you say looking back down with a smile.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you and Matt were at the usual picnic table at school as you both stood in front of the computer. it's been two weeks since you started to help him. you both stood there waiting for his grades to update. it took a lot of work but, hopefully it was worth it. you and Matt stare at the screen as he clicked refresh one more time. "Y/n!" he says standing up straight. you looked at the screen to see his grades now passing with A's and B's. you turn to look at him and your mouth was open a bit from shock, "you did it Matt!" you exclaim happily. "no, we did it Y/n." he says with a smile hugging you suddenly. your eyes widen a bit but you hugged back slowly, "thank you Y/n." he whispers still embracing you. "you're welcome Matt." you reply as you both pull away. you both stand there now nervously laughing. "let's go show Mrs. Dean." you suggest. the boy nods and you both pack your stuff and walk to her classroom.

the next day, Matt kept bugging you in class with the notes he's been writing.

'Y/n tell me how I can repay you. seriously!' - Matt

'I don't need to be repaid Matt. it was me who offered to help in the first place. i'm just glad I helped you.' - Y/n

'how about I take you to the drive in?' - Matt

your eyes widen a bit from the question. you’ve never been asked to go anywhere especially with a boy. alone. you hover your pencil over the paper as you think about what to say.

‘i’ve never been to the drive in.’ - Y/n

‘well then you’re about to :)’ - Matt

you look back at him and he smiles making you smile as well.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Y/n’s POV

“dad i’ll be back before 9 pm I promise.” I say putting on small hoop earrings. my dad has never been in this situation before, well neither have I, so this was all new for the both of us. “honey, let her finish getting ready.” my mom joins in with a small laugh. “who even is this boy Y/n?” my dad asks curiously. “he’s just a boy from school that I helped out. now, he said he wants to repay me that’s all.” I say putting on chapstick. “do you like this boy?” my mom asks. “yes.” I say bluntly but realize it came off the other way, “as a friend!” I add on. my mom laughs and nods, “okay sweet heart. I’ll get your dad out of your hair.” she says dragging my dad out the room with her.

I look at myself in the mirror and touch up anything that doesn’t look right. my phone suddenly buzzes. I pick it up to see a text from Matt. it was him letting me know he was outside. I get up and put on my shoes, heading out my bedroom and to the front door until I got stopped by my dad. “hold on Y/n.” he says getting up from the couch. “dad please. I have to go.” I say but he walks up to me and opens the door. he takes a look at Matt through his car window. Matt gets out the car and walks up to the door. “hello sir.” Matt says with a smile. “what’s up kid. where are you taking my daughter?” my dad asks. “i’m just taking her to the drive in. it’s to repay her for helping me play this weekend’s game.” Matt says. “you play a sport?” my dad asks now intrigued.

“I play lacrosse.” Matt says with a soft laugh. “that’s awesome. well, you two enjoy the movie. be safe most importantly.” my dad says patting Matt’s shoulder. “thank you dad. bye.” I say walking to Matt’s car. we both get inside and I look at him, “i’m so sorry about him.” I apologize. he laughs softly and starts the car, “why are you saying sorry? it went great.” he reassures me. “I just didn’t think you guys would meet. I mean, he’s never met anyone else before.” I say. he looks at me, “wait, i’m the first guy he’s ever met?” he asks with a slight shocked expression. “yeah…” I say quietly. “is that a problem?” I add on. he smiles and chuckles, “no! i’m just surprised.” he says as he starts to drive off. “what’s so surprising?” I question keeping my eyes on the road.

“I thought a bunch of guys would’ve taken you out by now.” he says. I stay silent for a bit, what is that supposed to mean? “I don’t talk to guys like that.” I utter. “looks like i’m special.” Matt smiles from his words. I just shake my head playfully, “I guess so.” I laugh a bit.

End of Y/n’s POV

later on, you both were sitting there in the car as the movie played on the big screen. Matt wasn’t paying attention that much because all he could focus on was how nervous he was being right next to you. to be completely honest, he hasn’t taken out a girl before. he only cared about his friends and sports so he didn’t think he would have anytime for a relationship but, he just shook off the thoughts. he was just repaying you right? towards the end of the movie, you notice him glancing at you and you caught his eyes. you both sat there as you stared at each other while the movie played through the radio. Matt started to move his eyes to your lips, making you gulp. you two started to lean in slowly but stopped once you guys heard the car next to you start its engine.

you both move away from each other and laugh nervously. the drive home was painfully awkward. when you got home, you laid in bed and buried your face in your pillow. all you could think about now was, what if you guys kissed?

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

a few days pass, you could not get Matt off your mind. you knew he was the sweetest boy you’ve ever met. you just didn’t know what to do with these feelings. besides that near kiss, nothing else happened after. he did invite you to his lacrosse practice later after school.

‘come on. you can watch me practice and try to understand the game.’ - Matt

you stared at the note and thought about what to say. you had the same hesitation from when he asked you to go to the drive in. you gulp and start to write a response.

‘okay fine. i’ll come.’ - Y/n

the bell rings and he stands up grabbing his stuff, shortly after he grabs your hand walking out the classroom. you follow him as you look at the way your fingers entwined. you felt your cheeks turn pink from the gesture. you soon made it out to the grass field. he lets go of your hand and looks at you, “I got to put on my uniform but look out for number four okay?” he says smiling. you nod and smile back as he walks away.

you make your way up onto the bleachers as you sit down away from some people. when all the boys head out on the field, you immediately spot Matt in his number four jersey. you smile and see him point his stick at you which makes you giggle quietly. “hey Y/n.” you turn to see Nick join right next to you. “hi. you don’t play?” you ask. he shakes his head, “absolutely not. I cried and quit the first time I played.” you both laugh at his words.

as the boys started to practice, Nick started to explain the game to you. you were starting to understand the concept and how points work. by the time they finished, Nick claimed you as a pro. “you learn quickly!” he exclaims with a smile. “well, I did help him study. only fair for me to study the game.” you say laughing.

when you arrived home that day, you couldn’t stop thinking about him still. you sat on your bed as you started to think of ways to support him at the game tomorrow. you had the perfect idea.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you look at yourself in the school bathroom mirror as you smile. today was the day Matt has been anticipating. he was still thanking you all day that he gets to play today. which you kept repeatedly telling him to stop.

Matt

wish me luck today! I hope to hear you in the stands.

you smile at the text and reply.

Y/n

good luck Matt. also, I don’t know about that.

you head out the bathroom and make your way out to the bleachers. you wanted to be close to the front so Nick saved you a seat. “thank you for giving me one of his jerseys.” you say to Nick. “of course! he’s going to love seeing you in it.” he responds. you and Nick engage in conversation as he tells you child hood stories about the three of them. you two were laughing and getting along. “i’m so glad Matt started talking to you. I feel like none of us wanted to reach out to you because we thought you didn’t want anybody bothering you.” Nick lets out making you laugh softly.

you hear a person through the speakers introduce the team and you instantly switch your attention towards the field. the team runs out onto the field and everybody starts to cheer, including you.

Matt’s POV

when me and my team run out onto the field, I instantly search for Y/n in the stands. when I finally see her, I couldn’t help but notice her shirt. it was my jersey. it looked a little big on her and I laughed to myself. she looked amazing. I pointed my lacrosse stick at her and she just gave thumbs up with a smile. I definitely need to do good for her.

End of Matt’s POV

during the game, you were so focused on Matt that you started to realize how good he was. he was absolutely crushing everyone on the opposite team. it was down to the final countdown. you were at the edge of your seat with Nick as you guys watch Matt with the ball, he starts to run and push past the opponents as he throws the ball straight to the net, making the final goal. everybody stands up and cheer as you and Nick jump up and down. “let’s go Matt!” you yell out. you were so caught up in the moment you didn’t realize you really put yourself out there cheering for him. Matt takes off his helmet and runs towards the stands. you walk down the bleachers as he drops the stick and helmet onto the ground. you embrace him in a hug as he wraps his arms around your waist, picking you up slightly.

“good job Matt!” you exclaim happily. “I couldn’t do it without you.” he says. it made your heart melt but you were also confused, “what do you mean?” you say pulling away smiling. “I was thinking about you the whole time. it was my motivation.” he says smiling. your heart started to beat fast. “Matt… that’s so sweet…” you say. he scratches the back of his neck shyly, “yeah…” he says. it was the same awkward feeling from the car ride home back from the drive in. “let me go change into my actual clothes and i’ll meet up with you in the parking lot okay?” he says. you nod and smile.

later on, you were standing in the parking lot as you waited. he eventually came out from the school building and greets you with a smile. you just stood there still feeling awkward. your feelings for him were growing stronger and you couldn’t take it anymore. “nice jersey by the way.” he says opening his trunk with a smile. “thank you very much.” you smile a bit. you watched him put his equipment in his trunk as he noticed your body language. “is something bothering you?” he asks shutting the trunk.

Y/n’s POV

my heart was racing. how do I tell him how I feel? “Y/n?” he speaks up looking at me with concern. “Matt… I don’t know how to put this into words.” I say quietly. he leans back on the car as he responds, “it’s okay. take your time.” I stand there and look away with a nervous laugh before looking back at him, “well… i’ve been feeling a certain way lately. ever since I met you, I knew there was something different about you. I mean you went out of your way to talk to me when no one else would.” I pause for a moment, I can’t believe i’m doing this, “remember when you said you’re special and I said I guess? well, it’s not I guess. it’s yes, you are special. i’m sorry if this is too much.” I stop myself. “no keep going.” he says with a reassuring smile. I let out a breath, “what i’m trying to say is…” I stop looking at my feet nervously before looking back up at him, “no one’s ever had me… not like you. like today, I didn’t even know I could cheer that loud. when we aren’t together, I constantly think about you and when I lay there, I can’t help but wonder if you feel the same.” I say.

he stands up straight getting off the car. “that’s actually crazy.” he says catching me off guard. “what?” I ask stunned. he laughs nervously before talking, “i’ve been feeling the same way Y/n. like I said earlier, you were my motivation the whole game. when we first started talking, I already felt like my heart was going to beat out my chest. when we went to the drive in, I should’ve just told you then. I was having these thoughts ever since. every day, I look forward to seeing you. that has never happened to me before. I feel the same way Y/n.” he says making me feel much more at ease. “you really mean that?” I ask with a slight smile. “of course I do Y/n.” he says grabbing my hands softly, interlocking them.

End of Y/n’s POV

“so what now Matt?” you ask looking into his eyes. “what do you think?” he asks with a smile. you stayed quiet for a bit before asking him a question, “are you gonna marry kiss or kill me?” he smiles at the familiar question, “for now, I think i’ll go with kiss.” he says pulling you in by your intertwined hands, unlocking them, placing his hands on your face kissing you softly. you place your arms around his neck as you tip toe yourself up to reach him better. he moves his hands down, wrapping his arms around your lower waist as he picks you up slightly, without breaking the kiss. you never would’ve imagined high school being like this. finally finding a boy who you knew you could give yourself to. you both continue to kiss, smiling in between kisses and eventually pulling away. you both had your foreheads touching as you both laughed softly in each other’s arms.

a/n: sorry if this is so long! likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated.

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ruruumin · 4 months ago

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the light of kshahrewar's sister

₊˚ ᗢ canon! alhaitham x kaveh's sister! reader.

⤷ if there is one thing kaveh wishes most, its that his sister does not date alhaitham.

the first time alhaitham met you was when you transferred into his class. having started in kshahrewar like your older brother, you decided to transfer to being a haravatat student. it might give you a great change of pace from your family’s insistence on keeping the tradition alive. the silver-haired boy said nothing to you during your first week, only brushing shoulders with you on the occasion when your professor had you seated right next to each other. for the majority of your first year, you hardly talked to the man, let alone knew he existed.

it wasn’t until kaveh graduated at the top of his class that you and alhaitham finally gave each other a warm welcome. alhaitham chose the humble occupation of a scribe while you chose to be a desert researcher for ancient runes. the two of you hardly saw each other after your graduation. but when you stopped by to visit kaveh, it didn’t take long for you to find out that the two of them were living together.

to the blond’s horror, you and he hit it off quite well. with your professionalism and alhaitham’s stoicism, the two of you were a match made in heaven when it came to academics. you handled all the artistic elements and research while he focused on the calculations and logistics. you were paired together quite often. mainly because alhaitham was not the friendliest of students. and the only person who could truly tolerate him is you.

your older brother cannot say the same. you, his charming little sister, who might have also tormented him as a child, should not be with his roommate! to think you’d get so chummy with alhaitham out of all people sent shivers down his spine. this was worse than any horror movie he watched as a kid.

while you may be indifferent, he was aloof. these were completely different things! you were a perfect angel and he's some kind of boar that came out of the pits itself. tighnari and cyno can believe it though.

they've seen the longing looks alhaitham has sent you. they've seen his fluttering touches on your hand. it seemed like kaveh was the only person in denial.

so kaveh spends his time observing alhaitham. as of recently, he’s been coming home later than usual. while the man gets off of work around 5 pm, he’s been coming back at 8 or 10. much later than he usually would be. and whenever he’s been gone, he always has leftovers for him. and each day it’d be from a different restaurant. almost as if he’s been traveling throughout sumeru to try new food. kaveh would have thought nothing of it until alhaitham came back with flushed ears and a faint smile.

all of this was simply speculation though. there’s no way his roommate, alhaitham, the akademiya’s feeble scholar and formerly acting grand sage, would be in some kind of secret relationship with his little sister. it’s impossible. almost as unlikely as alhaitham being a sweetheart in any kind of relationship.

but it was beginning to be hard to deny what he’s seeing right now.

tighnari and cyno had invited him to lambards for a game of tcg. a certain somebody was supposed to join, however he was nowhere to be seen. not until the doors swung open and you walked through. before kaveh could wave to you with a friendly smile, he stopped short as he saw alhaitham by your side. his ears were the same tint of red that he remembered. and his smile was far too obvious now that you were in front of him. your fingers were intertwined as he led you through the tavern, ordering you a bottle of wine for your anniversary.

it seems like kaveh’s worst nightmare came true after all.

⤷ tags:

@urmomsgf298

#₊˚ ᗢ rurumin #₊˚ ᗢ alhaitham #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham

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azaharinflames · 2 months ago

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Just wanted to take a quick moment to be a sap and say how much I appreciate this space and the people in it.

Last week was incredibly hard on us. We received hate when we truly were expecting comfort, and it was made worse by the juxtaposition of what we had been offering previous to that night. We chose to be the bigger person, to not fall into tricks and to ignore the hate to spread love and positivity. And yet we still got hate. And the people who did the hate got a ‘victory’ of sorts.

But. Not want to focus on that.

I want to focus on how damn good this space has been. Because we decided to keep being the bigger person - to take our issues with the storyline and the people involved in it to the SM team and ABC, but didn’t go out of our way to hate or harass people (Oliver being called out for his comments entirely justified and not harassment).

We made sure Lou knew how appreciated and loved he was. That we didn’t hate him because there wasn’t a reason to. That we would still support him, and were feeling indignant in his name. And he responded in kindness and being as sweet as ever.

We kept this a safe space to vent, rant, and yeah - be frustrated. Because we were in our right to feel so and express so, and because we knew this was staying inside this space / blogs, and we weren’t taking actions that could be harmful for others.

We let each other feel the pain and frustration, and tried to make it better. We all adopted Lou overnight. Some of us welcomed SWAT into our lives as a fix it and an attempt to feel better and discover something new.

Honestly - thank you all for making this a safe space, where only occasionally I have to block someone that infiltrates it in order to cause chaos. We were lost in a sea of chaos and hate, and made sure to grab enough lifeboats for all of us.

And yeah there have been people who have gone a step too far in our side as well, and I do not condone it. But overall this space has remained safe in a way we all needed.

So. Honestly I don’t care about the ep tonight, I don’t want to make it mess with my European time zone and sleep schedule. So I’ll probably make myself some tea to sleep and will probably take a pill for it too (because I got naturally used to wake up when the episode was airing), and there is a high chance I will just turn off my phone and only check it tomorrow, when I feel like it.

But tonight, before doing any of that - I wanted to be a sap and thank all of you ♥️ it’s been a hard week, but we’ve made it. And we can make as many as we want 🫶🏻

#bucktommy #tevan #tommy kinard #lou ferrigno jr

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helioooss · 3 months ago

Text

hard times, part two

synopsis: years after you closed the door on mina, you find each other again.

w/c: 10k+

warnings: very emotional, mentions of death, read at your own risk. i actually cried???

a/n: long wait is over! i won’t be posting for awhile after this. i appreciate all your little messages and i promise i am reading them. <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

four years since the scandal that blew up across every headline, the breakup that shattered you from the inside out, and the decision to walk away from your old life in seoul. you had been a music producer once, someone who had built a career alongside some of the biggest names in the industry. that was where you met mina. where you fell in love.

that was another lifetime ago.

now, your days are quieter — simpler. the sound of waves crashing against the shore is a far cry from the constant hum of seoul’s streets, and the steady rhythm of stacking books at the small shop you work at is comforting in a way that music never was after everything fell apart.

in australia, you found solace in routine, in the ordinary. you surf in the mornings and work at the bookstore in the afternoons.

you glance out the window of the shop as the afternoon sun paints golden streaks across the pavement. it’s peaceful here, far from the noise, the cameras, the attention. this life you’ve built for yourself is so far removed from the person you used to be that sometimes it feels like a dream — or perhaps, a carefully constructed escape.

but no matter how far you run, some ghosts never leave.

mina was that ghost.

there isn’t a day that goes by when you don’t think about her, even if it’s just in the smallest, quietest moments. the way she used to hold you close, her smile when it was just the two of you, and how she used to look at you like you were her entire world.

it had been that way for years; you always thought nothing could ever shake it.

then came jeno; a rising star. someone famous and adored, somebody from her world. it was supposed to be a fake relationship — the kind idols are pushed into for publicity, but somewhere along the way, lines blurred. you watched as the person you loved slipped away, piece by piece, until the truth came crashing down.

she fell in love with him. you weren’t enough. that’s what your mind always circled back to in the darkest hours. she chose fame, chose him, over you.

the only option left for you was to leave. not just her, but the entire world that reminded you of her; of what you had and what you lost.

it really wasn’t until a few weeks ago that the past began creeping back into your life. after years of silence, you finally posted a picture on instagram — just a shot of the ocean and a surfboard, nothing significant. you weren’t thinking about who might see it, or what it might stir up. yet somehow, some way, it reached your old friends…the ones you had blocked and unblocked every now and then.

one by one, they knocked on your walls. small at first. jeongyeon commenting on the post using her private account, a simple “living the life i see” followed by a string of heart emojis. then sana, a message asking if you were still in australia and which city. dahyun, always the most straightforward, just sent, it’s been too long. let’s catch up.

uncertainty filled your mind, you weren’t sure how to respond. after all, you cut them off when you left. not because you didn’t care about them, but because staying in touch with anyone from that part of your life hurt too much.

there was something in their messages, something familiar and warm that made you hesitate. four years was a long time, and you missed them. maybe more than you wanted to admit.

so you replied, one by one.

a wine bar somewhere in fitzroy, just a few days before their concert at rod laver arena. they flew you out of brisbane and you almost backed out at the last second, nerves twisting in your stomach as you stood outside hope street radio.

what if things weren’t the same?

after heaving out a sigh, you decided to get it over and done with. however, the moment you stepped inside and saw them all sitting around the table, all your worries evaporated. jeongyeon waved you over, and you couldn’t help but smile at the way she almost knocked over her coffee in her excitement.

you felt like a kid again.

“y/n!” sana’s voice rang out, bright and cheerful, pulling you into a tight hug the moment you reached the table. “it’s been so long!”

you laughed, hugging her back as tzuyu slid over to make room for you. “i know. sorry about that.”

“don’t be,” nayeon said, her voice softer than usual but still carrying that familiar edge of mischief. “we miss you, that’s all.”

a moment of silence settled over the table, the weight of unspoken words filling the air. it wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was a heaviness to it. they all knew what happened, even if you never spoke about it in detail. you didn’t have to. they had been there, watching as everything crumbled.

“so,” jihyo broke the silence with a grin, “what’s australia like? other than the killer spiders and, you know, surfing every day by the looks of you?”

“just make sure you don’t let the barking spiders and drop bears get to you,” you nudged at chaeyoung and she did the same; as if the years hadn’t created mountains between you all.

you chuckled, the tension breaking as you launched into a lighthearted conversation about your new life.

“how did you even get to surfing, like, what?” dahyun asked, a hint of jealousy in her voice. “i’ve never even seen you jump in a pool!”

“ahh, well, it started when my roommates decided to take me beach camping with. we drove around the country just to surf. i eventually picked up the hobby and —“

“the sharks, y/n!” momo chimed in, face frightened and all.

this made you laugh as you shook your head. “honestly, they’re not that bad. we get alerts for them all the time and some are even tagged so we can track them ourselves.”

“what are drop bears?”

the smile on your face disappeared. “they’re the worst, never ever look up when you’re hiking through gumtrees…they spy on their prey real good.”

“there goes my dream of hiking under fifty degree heat in australia,” jeongyeon rolled her eyes. “not.”

the jokes started rolling in, and soon enough, it felt like no time had passed at all. you talked about your friends, your quiet life at the bookstore, the peacefulness of the ocean. they talked about their tour, the chaos of their schedules, the craziness of being in the western spotlight.

but there was one name that none of you mentioned.

mina.

as the hours passed, you found yourself relaxing, giggling with them like you used to, the bond between you all still strong despite the years apart. it was bittersweet, yes, but it was also healing in a way you didn’t expect.

“you should come to the concert,” momo suggested at one point, her eyes bright with excitement. “it’s in two days and we’d love to see you there.”

you hesitated, a frown etched on your face. “i don’t think that’d be a good idea, she will be there.”

“she doesn’t have to know,” sana cut in quickly. “she won’t even notice. she’s been…in her own world lately.”

you glanced between them, the unspoken understanding passing between you all. you weren’t sure if you were ready to face mina again. not after everything. but you missed them. missed the connection you had with them, missed being a part of something bigger than yourself.

“pretty please, y/n?”

“okay,” you finally agreed, earning a round of cheers and laughter from the girls.

it felt right, but underneath it all, there was still that pain, the part that wasn’t sure how you’d handle seeing her again after so long.

meanwhile, not too far away from you, mina sat alone in her hotel room; staring mindlessly at her phone. the girls had all gone out for dinner but she stayed back like she has done for years now — harbouring herself away from everyone day by day.

she had tried so many times to reach out to you. after you left, after everything fell apart, she had tried. your friends and family — they shut her out. they still loved her, they told her as much, but they respected your decision to move on, to start over without her. she couldn’t blame them.

after all, she was the one who ruined everything.

jeno had been a mistake from the start. what was supposed to be a fake relationship, something for the cameras, turned into something that crossed lines mina didn’t even realise she had crossed until it was too late. she thought she could handle both. thought she could keep you and the life she had in the public eye, but it had all fallen apart in her hands.

she had lost you — the only person who ever truly mattered.

and for what? a fleeting moment of fame? a shallow relationship that meant nothing?

she regretted it every day.

the past four years without you had been a blur of schedules and stages, but none of it felt real anymore. without you, she was lost. fame wasn’t worth it without you by her side. none of it was.

and now, as she stared at her phone, scrolling through old messages she never sent, she wondered if you ever thought about her the way she thought about you. probably not. you had moved on, hadn’t you? you were probably happy now, living a life she could never be a part of.

then, a message popped up on her screen. it was from jihyo in their group chat.

and it was about you.

mina’s heart skipped a beat as she read the messages popping up one by one, the words sinking in slowly.

jihyo: we all just met up with y/n…and we all decided you deserved to know that she is okay.

tzuyu: yeah she’s looking real good 😊

momo: extremely good looking and even funnier too minari. aged like fine wine

mina frowned, remembering how her members used to tease her in the same way, any chance they got. she wasn’t annoyed at them, no, she missed it.

you were in australia. you had been here, all this time. and now, you were going to be at the concert.

she dropped her phone, panic setting in. she hadn’t seen you in years. what would she say? how would she even face you after what she did?

her mind raced, and for the first time in years, she felt like she was suffocating under the weight of her own decisions. you were so close, and yet so far away.

before she knew it, her thumb clicked on the call button in their group chat. it rang twice…and nayeon’s voice came out of the other line.

“how?” was the first thing that came out of mina’s lips, equal yelling and trembling at. “why didn’t you tell me? otherwise i would’ve come to dinner!”

“mina, please be calmer,” nayeon sighed. “we’re on our way back to the hotel now.”

mina’s fingers shook, anxiety rushing through every vein in her body. “where…where is she?”

“she’s staying at a hotel not too far from the city, we had to fly her out from the gold coast where she actually lives.”

“does she hate me still? does she know i’ve been looking for her everywhere?”

there was stunned silence from the other end, each of the girls not knowing what to say to mina.

“i…” jihyo began, but paused. “we will come to your room in a few minutes, okay? and y/n bought tim tams for you and thinks you might like it.”

mina smiled, her chest feeling warm. at least you remembered, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to face the consequences of what she had done.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the night of the concert arrived, and you stood at the edge of the crowd with one of your friends, taylor, by your side. the energy in the arena was electric, fans cheering and chanting as the lights dimmed and the music began. some even recognised you from back in the days.

taylor nudged you, a grin on her face as she said, “didn’t realise they were this popular.”

you laughed, but it was strained. “trust me, it can get worst than this.”

“and you used to produce for and are friends with these girls?” taylor raised an eyebrow. “who would’ve fucking thought, hey?”

“yep,” you responded, dragging the ‘p’. “eventually, you’re going to find out things about me, so be prepared.”

she said something else, but your thoughts were elsewhere. you scanned the stage, searching for familiar faces, but part of you hoped you wouldn’t see her.

and then, the lights hit the stage, and there she was.

mina.

your breath caught in your throat as you saw her for the first time in four years. she looked different, yet the same. her hair was longer, her expression more guarded; the only thing left was that same spark in her eyes. the one you used to know so well.

when her eyes swept over the crowd, there was a flicker of panic. like she was searching for something — or someone.

you hadn’t prepared yourself to feel all of this again — the rush of memories, the hurt, the betrayal, and something deeper that you thought had disappeared over time.

seeing mina in person, after all these years, was like reopening a wound you thought had healed.

taylor watched you from the corner of her eye, concern flickering across her face, but she didn’t say anything. she didn’t know the whole story, and you weren’t sure you could tell her even if you tried.

on stage, mina moved like she always had —graceful, confident, yet something was off. she kept glancing into the crowd, her eyes scanning over the fans with an almost frantic energy. it was like she was looking for someone. you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to stay still, but your heart was racing in your chest.

and then, for just a split second, her eyes landed on you.

she froze.

you saw the way her expression changed, how her face paled as if she had seen a ghost. it was like time stopped for both of you. the cheers of the crowd faded into the background, and all you could focus on was the look of shock — and something else in her eyes; regret?

you didn’t know what to feel. a part of you wanted to turn around and leave, to run from the confrontation you knew was coming. but another part of you, the part that still remembered how it felt to love her, couldn’t look away.

before you could make a decision, the other girls must have noticed.

jeongyeon and sana exchanged glances, and you saw them subtly maneuvering mina away from the edge of the stage, trying to shield her from the crowd — and from you. they knew. they knew this was too much for her, that seeing you after all this time was breaking her composure.

you felt a pang of guilt. you hadn’t come here to make her uncomfortable. you came to see your old friends, to support them, not to stir up old wounds. but mina…mina was unraveling right in front of you.

taylor leaned in closer, her voice low so as not to disturb the people around you. “is everything okay? you look like you’ve seen a ghost and that pretty girl does too.”

you forced a smile, shaking your head. “i’m fine. just…memories…she’s my ex-girlfriend.”

she didn’t press further, and you were grateful for that. but the tension in your body didn’t ease as the concert went on. every time mina moved, you could feel her glancing in your direction, her discomfort radiating across the stage.

“she must be in love with you still, huh?” taylor nudged your arm gently, trying to lighten up the mood.

“maybe.”

she was barely performing anymore, just going through the motions as her eyes searched for you in the sea of faces. every time she found you, her expression tightened.

it was the weight of four years without closure crashing down on her.

by the end of the concert, you felt emotionally drained. you hadn’t expected it to hit you this hard. as the final song “move” played and the lights dimmed, you considered slipping out before anyone had a chance to come, to avoid the inevitable confrontation.

before you could move, their managers, the ones that were always friendly with you, were suddenly at your side; ushering you towards the back entrance with smiles that didn’t quite reach their eyes.

taylor shot you a questioning look, but you just waved her off. “i’ll explain later,” you mumbled. “this is complicated.”

she shrugged, clearly confused, but didn’t ask any more questions. “i’d rather meet you outside, at a pub, then. take your time, i don’t wanna impose.”

“are you sure you don’t wanna join me?”

“i’m sure, mate,” she smiled, giving you a thumbs up. “too big for my little world, y’know?”

you nodded, your heart racing, and followed them without protest.

as you were led backstage, the weight of everything you’d been avoiding for four years pressed down on you. this used to be your world, ran these shows like a maniac. you hadn’t wanted to come back to this, not after what she did.

yet now that you were here, you couldn’t stop the flood of emotions that threatened to drown you.

the hallway backstage was buzzing with activity —managers and staff moving around in a whirlwind of post-concert chaos. all of that blurred into the background as tzuyu appeared out of a room and guided you to a quieter area, away from the noise with only just her.

“she saw you,” tzuyu said quietly once you were alone, her eyes full of concern. “she hasn’t been the same all night.”

you swallowed hard, feeling the guilt gnaw at you again. “i didn’t mean for this to happen. i didn’t even know if i should come.”

tzuyu sighed softly. “you know how much you mean to her, right? even after everything?”

you looked away, the ache in your chest growing. “then why did she hurt me?”

“it was a mistake,” tzuyu said, her voice gentle but firm. “a stupid, terrible mistake. but it wasn’t because she didn’t love you.”

you didn’t know how to respond to that. for so long, you had convinced yourself that mina had chosen jeno because you weren’t enough. that you, the quiet producer working behind the scenes, could never compete with someone famous, someone who could give her everything.

it had been the root of your insecurity, the thing that haunted you long after you left.

before you could say anything else, the door to the room opened, and there she was.

mina — she sitting on the couch with her head down her palms, surrounded by all the other girls.

she looked fragile, more so than you had ever seen her. the confidence she usually carried on stage was gone, replaced by an overwhelming sadness. the moment she looked up at you, her bloodshot eyes were wide, it was like she couldn’t breathe.

“y/n,” her voice was barely a whisper, but it sent a jolt through you. hearing her say your name in the tone after all these years felt like a punch to the gut.

you stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do. all the anger, the hurt, the longing — it all surged up at once, and you didn’t know how to handle it.

mina took a tentative step forward, her eyes pleading you to say something, anything.

and you couldn’t.

you could feel the other girls staring, their presence a quiet reminder that this moment was fragile. the air between you and mina was thick with everything unsaid.

“i…i didn’t know you would be here,” mina stammered, her voice shaking. “i didn’t think i’d ever see you again.”

“i didn’t plan on it,” you finally managed to say, your voice hoarse. “i came to see them. not you.”

mina flinched, but she didn’t back away. instead, she took another step forward, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “i’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “for everything, for hurting you, for…for losing you like that.”

you shook your head, trying to keep your emotions in check. “it’s been four years, mina. four years since you left me for someone else. what more could you want from me?”

“i know,” mina chocked out, hands trembling. “i know. and i hate myself for it every day.”

“that mistake cost me everything,” you said, your voice hardening — cold and detached. “i loved you all those years and i still wasn’t enough for you.”

“no,” mina said quickly, her eyes wide with desperation. “you were always enough. more than enough. i got caught up in the fame, in everything i thought i needed and now i know none of it mattered. we had dreams of our future together, y/n, i worked hard so we could achieve it…and i messed up real bad, blinded.”

the words hung in the air, heavy and raw. you wanted to believe her. god, you wanted to believe her, but the hurt was still there. and painful.

“you have no idea what these past four years have been like for me,” your voice trembled, only noticing that you were both alone together. “i rebuilt my life from nothing. i tried to forget you. but every time i think i’ve moved on, something reminds me of you.”

mina’s face crumpled, and she took another step closer, until she was right in front of you. “please,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “please don’t shut me out again. i know i don’t deserve it, but i want to make things right. i need you, y/n. i’ve always needed you.”

you looked at her, really looked at her, and for the first time in years, you saw the vulnerability in her eyes. she wasn’t the mina on stage, the idol who commanded the attention of millions. she was just the girl you fell in love with all those years ago, the one who used to hold your hand and share secrets and breathless kisses in the dark.

but could you trust her again?

before you could answer, jihyo stepped into the room, gently placing a hand on mina’s shoulder. “let’s give it some time,” she said softly. “y/n’s been through a lot. this isn’t something that can be fixed overnight.

mina nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks as she took a step back. “i understand,” she whispered. “but i won’t give up. not on you.”

with that, she turned and left the room, leaving you standing there with the rest of the girls, your heart heavy with everything that had just happened.

you didn’t know what the future held. you didn’t know if you could ever forgive mina for what she did.

as you stood there, watching the door close behind her, you learned that a part of you, no matter how small, wanted to try.

the following months were a blur. after that night at the concert, mina tried reaching out to you in every way possible — texts, calls, even showing up at the bookstore where you worked. you ignored her, still unsure if you were ready to let her back into your life. every time you saw her name flash on your phone, your heart clenched, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond.

eventually, mina’s messages became less frequent, though you knew from the other twice members that she was struggling, bad. they told you about her anxiety, how she was barely able to perform anymore, how the weight of losing you was crushing her. part of you felt guilty, but another part of you knew that she needed to face the consequences of her actions.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

it wasn’t until mina made a public announcement that everything changed.

you were stunned.

the day of mina’s public press conference arrived like a storm, unexpected and impossible to ignore. you hadn’t seen it coming, hadn’t even heard rumours about it until you stumbled upon a news headline on your phone while you were on a break at the bookstore.

“mina myoui of twice speaks out in emotional press conference: ‘i lost the love of my life because of my own mistakes.’”

your heart dropped. your hands shook as you clicked the link, the video starting almost instantly.

there she was, standing behind a podium, dressed simply in black, her face pale and drawn. cameras flashed incessantly, the noise of the reporters’ murmurs filled the room as she stood there, clearly struggling to keep her composure.

you hadn’t seen her like this before — not in all the years you were together, not in the countless press events she’d attended as an idol. this was different. this was raw.

as you watched, you could almost feel the vulnerability radiating off of her, like she was standing there with her heart in her hands, baring it for the rest of the world to see.

“thank you all for being here,” mina began, her voice shaky but resolute. she clutched the edges of the podium as if it was the only thing keeping her grounded. “there is something i need to say. something i’ve needed to say for a long time.”

she took a deep breath, and in that moment, you could see the weight of everything she had carried for years. all the pain, the regret, the guilt; it was written on her face, in the way her shoulders slumped, in the tremble of her voice.

“i’ve made many mistakes in my life, and the biggest one of all was losing someone i loved more than anything. i’ve stayed silent about it for a long time, out of respect for them, and because…because i didn’t know how to face the truth.”

the room fell silent. even the reporters, always hungry for a story, seemed to sense the gravity of what she was about to say.

“i was in a relationship,” mina continued, her voice cracking slightly. “a relationship that i cherished more than anything in this world. you all would have known her as y/n.”

your breath caught in your throat as you listened, the words cutting deep. this wasn’t the mina the world was used to seeing. this wasn’t the idol, the face on billboards — this was the real mina: vulnerable, scared and desperate to make amends.

“my y/n,” she said softly, the name falling from her lips like a confession. “she was everything to me, she loved me when i was just mina, not an idol, not a public figure, just me. we were just kids.”

there was a collective gasp from the room, the reporters scribbling furiously in their notebooks, but mina didn’t stop. her eyes were red, tears shimmering at the edges, but she pressed on.

“i hurt her bad,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper now, but it was clear, unflinching. “it was a stupid, selfish mistake, and i’ve regretted it every single day since.”

the cameras zoomed in on her face, capturing every tear that slipped down her cheeks. you could see the pain etched into every line, the desperation in her eyes as she looked directly into the camera, as if she were speaking to you and only you.

“but i let the pressures of this industry, the expectations, get to me. i thought i needed to be someone else to survive in this world, and in the process, i lost the one person who truly mattered.”

you felt your chest tighten as you watched her fall apart in front of the world. it wasn’t just an apology; it was a public plea, a desperate attempt to reach you, wherever you were. and it was working. despite everything, you couldn’t stop the wave of emotion that crashed over you as you listened to her words.

she paused, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, but the tears kept coming.

“i need you to know that i haven’t stopped thinking about you. i haven’t stopped loving you. not for a single day. and if i could go back and change everything, i would. if i could give up this life, this fame, this career, to have you back, i would do it in a heartbeat.”

the silence in the room was deafening. even the reporters seemed to be holding their breath, captivated by the rawness of her confession.

mina took a shaky breath and looked down at her hands, her voice breaking completely as she spoke the next words. “i’ve been lost without you but i don’t expect you to forgive me,” she said, her voice barely audible now. “i don’t expect you to even want to see me again. but i had to say this. i had to let the world know what i did, and how much i regret it. because you deserve to know how much i loved you. how much i still love you.”

there was a long pause, and for a moment, it seemed like she was going to break down completely. then she straightened up, her eyes red and swollen, but resolute.

“i’m taking a break from everything,” she added quietly. “i need time to reflect, to heal, and to figure out who i am without all of this. i’ve been relieved all of my duties from twice, i need to find myself again and i hope you can all understand.”

the room was still. no one dared speak. no one dared interrupt the moment.

mina glanced down at the podium, her hands shaking slightly as she folded the piece of paper in front of her, though she hadn’t read from it once. then she looked back up at the camera, her expression full of sorrow, but also a kind of hope.

“y/n,” she whispered, her voice barely a breath, “if you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, i’ll be waiting.”

and with that, she stepped away from the podium, leaving the room in stunned silence. the cameras continued to flash, the reporters murmured amongst themselves, but mina didn’t look back. she walked out of the room, her shoulders slumped, her heart laid bare for the world to see.

“what the fuck,” you mumbled to yourself, messages from everyone slowly flooding in.

years were spent building a life away from her, convincing yourself that you were over it, but now, after hearing her speak, after seeing the depth of her pain, you weren’t so sure.

you had loved her. and a part of you still did.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

over the next few days, the media exploded with the news of mina’s press conference. it was everywhere: on social media, in magazines, in every corner of the internet.

and amidst all the chaos, amidst all the noise, you found yourself replaying her words in your head over and over again.

she was stepping away. from everything.

because of you.

you hadn’t responded to her messages, her calls, or her letters for so long. you had kept her at arm’s length, refusing to let her back in after the way she hurt you. now, after seeing her like that; vulnerable, so broken — you wondered if you had been holding on to your anger for too long.

could you really spend the rest of your life shutting her out?

one day, as you sat in the bookstore, staring blankly at the stack of books in front of you, taylor came up to you with a hesitant look on her face.

“you okay?” she asked, her voice gentle. “you’ve been… kind of out of it since that whole press thing with, uh, you know…her.”

you sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. “i don’t know, taylor. i really don’t know.”

taylor paused, then handed you another envelope. “this came for you today. from japan again.”

it was from mina. you didn’t even need to open it to know. she had been sending them regularly now, each one more heartfelt than the last, each one filled with the same desperation and regret you had seen at the press conference.

you knew what she was asking for. forgiveness. a second chance.

but could you give it to her?

you hesitated for a long moment, then finally tore open the envelope, your hands shaking slightly as you unfolded the letter.

it was long, full of apologies and regrets, but it was also full of memories. mina wrote about the life she had imagined for the two of you, the life she had lost because of her mistakes. she wrote about how she was living in a small cabin in kyoto, trying to find herself again, and how she wished you could see the beauty of the place with her.

she had changed. she wasn’t the same person who had broken your heart all those years ago.

for weeks, the letters kept coming, each one more heartfelt than the last. mina poured her heart out on paper, describing her days in kyoto, the simple life she had built for herself away from the spotlight. she wrote about how much she had grown, how she had learned from her mistakes, and how much she still loved you.

“do you think you could forgive her?” taylor asked one day, her feet up on the register and fingers greased with butter from the fairy bread in her hand. “like i don’t know man, she seems pretty genuine about all this.”

“she has changed,” you mumbled, folding the piece of paper gently into a box filled with her letters.

and just maybe, you weren’t the same person either. by the time you finished reading her last letter. your decision was made.

you stared down at the blank paper in front of you, the pen heavy in your hand. for a long time, you just sat there, unsure of how to even begin. every time you thought of mina, it was like two opposing forces collided within you: one pulling you toward her, remembering the love you had, and the other pulling you away, reminding you of the pain she had caused.

and yet, despite the weight of it all, you found your hand moving almost on its own, words spilling onto the page.

dear mina,

i’m not sure where to start. i don’t even know if i should be writing this. it’s been four years and i thought i had moved on. but then you went and did something like that, something i never expected.

you paused, biting your lip as you stared at the words. it felt like you were pouring your heart out onto the page, but it also felt vulnerable in a way you hadn’t allowed yourself to be in a long time.

you continued writing, the words coming easier now.

i watched your press conference. i saw you standing there, telling the world about us. you have no idea how hard that was for me, hearing you talk about what we had, what we lost. for a long time, i thought i’d never be able to forgive you for what you did. when you cheated, it broke something in me that i didn’t think could ever be fixed.

now, after seeing you like that, after reading your letters…i don’t know, minari. i don’t know what to think anymore.

you sat back for a moment, rereading what you had written. it was honest, raw, and for the first time in years, you allowed yourself to confront the emotions you had buried.

i can see that you’ve changed. i can see that you regret what happened. and maybe i’ve changed too. maybe i’m finally ready to let go of the anger.

you hesitated, your pen hovering over the paper. maybe. the word felt heavy, unsure. but wasn’t that the truth? you didn’t know if you were ready to forgive her completely, however, you were ready to start, and that was something.

i don’t know if i’m ready to forgive you, not completely, you wrote, the words feeling like a relief as they left the tip of your pen. but i’m willing to talk. i’m willing to hear you out, to see if there’s something left between us. i think we both owe it to ourselves to figure that out.

you paused again, your heart pounding as you realized what you were about to do. this was the first real step toward letting her back into your life, and it scared you.

so, if you’re serious about this — about us — then i’m willing to try again.

sincerely, y/n.

you stared at the letter for a long time after you finished writing, the words on the page blurring as you thought about everything that had led you to this moment. you had spent years running from your feelings, building walls to protect yourself, but maybe it was time to stop running. maybe it was time to face the love you had lost and see if it could be rebuilt.

the next day, you mailed the letter.

weeks passed after you sent the letter, and for a while, there was nothing but silence. part of you had expected that — after all, mina had disappeared from the public eye, taking a hiatus to heal, just like she said she would. you wondered if she had received your letter, if she was still in that cabin in kyoto, waiting for your response.

“how are things with mina?” your dad casually brought her up over the phone, the air filling with tension.

“uh, yeah, i don’t really know,” you spun your fork around. “we’re sort of talking.”

“that girl loves you with all her life,” he sighed. “it was a shame to see her go.”

“i know.”

“forgive her, y/n!” your mum’s voice rung from the line, albeit a bit distant. she must’ve been in the kitchen. “love is all about hurting, if it finds its way back to you, don’t close your door to it.”

then, one day, you received a letter back.

your heart pounded as you opened it, mina’s familiar handwriting scrawled across the page. you sat down at your small kitchen table, hands trembling slightly as you began to read.

dear y/n,

thank you. thank you for writing back, and thank you for giving me a chance, even if it’s just to talk. when i received your letter, i couldn’t stop crying. i know that i don’t deserve your forgiveness, and i wasn’t sure if you would ever want to speak to me again, but knowing that you’re willing to at least try…it means everything to me.

i understand that you’re not ready to forgive me yet, and i don’t expect you to be. i know i hurt you deeply, and it’s going to take time. but i promise, y/n, i’m not the same person i was back then. i’ve had a lot of time to reflect on who i am, on what i want out of life, and more than anything, i want to be the person you fell in love with again.

i’m still in kyoto, living a quiet life in the cabin. it’s peaceful here, in a way i’ve never experienced before. sometimes, i walk through the cherry blossom trees, and i think about what it would be like if you were here with me, seeing the beauty of this place.

i know i have a long way to go to prove myself to you, but i’m willing to do whatever it takes. i’ve been thinking about the life we could have together — the one we dreamed of. i want us to have a future again.

but i also know that i have to earn it. so, i’ll wait. as long as it takes, i’ll wait.

with all my love, mina.

her letter rest in your lap, it smelt just like her. they all do. your mind was swirling with thoughts and emotions. it felt surreal, hearing from her again, reading her words, feeling the sincerity behind them.

and in that fleeting moment, you realised something. you wanted that future too.

over the next few months, you and mina exchanged letters regularly. they were long, filled with memories, apologies, and hopes for the future.

she wrote about her days in kyoto, about the small joys she found in the quiet life she was leading, about how she was rediscovering who she was outside of the idol world. you wrote back, telling her about your life in australia, about taylor, about the bookstore and the ocean that had become your refuge.

slowly, the walls between you began to crumble.

and then, one day, you made a decision.

you booked a flight to kyoto.

the air in kyoto was crisp and cool as you stepped off the plane, the cherry blossoms in full bloom as you made your way through the city. it had been years since you had been in japan, and the familiarity of it felt strange, almost foreign after the life you had built in australia. there was something comforting about it too, something that made your heart beat faster as you thought about what was waiting for you.

mina.

you hadn’t told her you were coming. you wanted it to be a surprise, and you weren’t even sure what you were going to say when you saw her. after months of letters, after all the words and apologies and hopes shared between the two of you, you knew one thing for sure:

you had to see her.

you followed the directions she had given you in one of her letters, winding through narrow streets and past beautiful gardens until you reached a small cabin nestled at the edge of a quiet grove of cherry trees. the sight of it took your breath away.

simple, unassuming, but surrounded by a beauty that seemed almost unreal.

for a moment, you just stood there, staring at the cabin, your heart pounding in your chest. this was it.

you took a deep breath, then walked up to the door and knocked.

there was a long pause, and for a minute, you wondered if she was even home. then, the door opened, and there she was.

she looked different, yet the same. her hair was longer, pulled back into a loose ponytail, and she was dressed simply in a cream sweater and black joggers. but it was her eyes that caught you—the same eyes you had fallen in love with all those years ago, filled with shock, hope, and something else…something you hadn’t seen in a long time.

“y/n?” her voice was soft, disbelieving, as if she couldn’t believe you were standing there in front of her.

you swallowed hard, your heart racing as you looked at her, taking in every detail. “hi, mina.”

for a long moment, neither of you moved. you just stood there, staring at each other, the weight of everything that had happened hanging in the air between you. and then, before you could say anything else, mina stepped forward and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a tight, desperate embrace.

you hesitated for a second, your body stiff with the shock of it all, but then you melted into her embrace, your arms wrapping around her in return.

like coming home after being lost for so long.

“i’m sorry,” mina whispered against your shoulder, her voice breaking. “i’m so sorry.”

you closed your eyes, holding her tighter. “i know.”

you stood there for what felt like an eternity, holding each other as the cherry blossoms fell gently around you, the weight of the past slowly lifting.

you were ready to find your way back to each other.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

over the next few years, you and mina rebuilt what had been broken. it wasn’t easy — there were still moments of hurt, moments when the past threatened to resurface, but you both worked through it.

you travelled together, exploring the places you had always dreamed of visiting. you laughed and cried together, and found joy in the simple moments of life.

one day, in a quiet moment under the cherry blossom trees, mina got down on one knee and asked you to marry her.

you said yes.

the wedding was small, private, just the two of you and a handful of close friends. it wasn’t the grand, public affair that mina’s life had once been filled with: it was quiet, intimate, and full of love.

“mrs and mrs myoi!” all your friends cheered, the ones who have been there throughout your journey, throwing petals of flowers at you.

“i can’t believe you’re actually married,” rosé cries alongside jennie, them pushing each other playfully in the crowd. “i hope i’m not next.”

you laughed and as you stood there, hand in hand with the woman you had once thought you had lost forever, you realised that you had both found your way back to where you belonged.

together.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the soft glow of the morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm haze over the room. you sat on the edge of the bed, exhaustion etched into every part of your body, but there was an undeniable peace that had settled over you. next to you, mina lay with her head against the pillow, her hair tousled, eyes soft as they gazed at the tiny bundle in your arms.

in your lap, wrapped in a light blue blanket, was your son.

he was small, delicate, his tiny fingers curled around your thumb as he slept soundly, oblivious to the world around him. his dark hair, still wispy, stuck out at odd angles, and you couldn’t stop staring at him.

mina shifted beside you, reaching out to gently stroke his cheek with the pad of her finger, her eyes filled with wonder and something deeper. “he’s so beautiful,” she whispered, her voice full of emotion. “i think he’s going to have those striking eyes of yours.”

you smiled, feeling a swell of pride and love in your chest. “yeah, he really is.”

the two of you sat in silence for a moment, just taking in the sight of your son, feeling the enormity of the moment settle over you. it had been a long journey to get here, but now, sitting here with the love of your life and your first child, it all felt worth it.

mina leaned her head against your shoulder, her eyes never leaving the baby’s face. “what should we call him?”

you had talked about names for months, tossing ideas back and forth, but now that he was here, the name you both loved most seemed to fit perfectly. even the girls had their input, but you put a halt to it when jeongyeon suggested bob.

“yuto,” you said softly, the name feeling right on your tongue. “what do you think?”

mina smiled, her eyes shining with tears. “yuto,” she repeated, testing it out. “it’s perfect.”

yuto stirred in your arms, his tiny face scrunching up for a moment before he settled back into sleep. you leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, feeling the overwhelming love you had for him already.

mina wrapped her arm around you, pulling you closer, and the two of you sat there in the quiet of the morning, holding the newest member of your family. yuto was yours — yours and mina’s — a symbol of everything you had been through, of the love you had fought so hard to rebuild.

“welcome to the world, yuto,” mina whispered softly, her voice full of love.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the house in australia was quiet, except for the gentle rustling of leaves outside and the occasional sound of the ocean in the distance. it had been their home for decades, a place filled with laughter, love, and memories that spanned a lifetime. the walls were lined with photos, capturing every stage of their journey together —the wedding, the birth of their children, and moments spent with friends who had become family.

yuto, their eldest, a kind and thoughtful person who had followed in your footsteps, becoming a producer in his own right, though he chose to stay out of the limelight. he had his mother’s calm demeanor, often the one to bring peace during any family chaos.

their second child, a daughter named haruka, was full of fire and creativity. she had her own art gallery in melbourne and was known for her bold, expressive paintings that often captured the vibrant landscapes of australia. haruka was fierce, protective, and carried the weight of being a middle child with grace, always looking out for her siblings.

next came their son akira, who had inherited your grace and sense of purpose. akira was a dancer, like his mother once was and he traveled the world performing in renowned dance companies. he had a quiet intensity about him, thoughtful and introspective, yet he was always the first to call when something important happened, making sure the family stayed connected despite the miles between them.

the youngest, hana, was the baby of the family. she was gentle and soft-spoken, often the quiet observer in a room, but her empathy and kindness shone through in everything she did. hana worked as a therapist, helping children and families navigate difficult moments, and she was adored by her nieces and nephews for her gentle, nurturing nature.

you and mina had watched your children grow into adults with pride, and though the years had weathered your bodies, the love you shared remained as strong as ever. you were in your early 80s now, both of you moving slower than you used to, but still finding joy in the simple moments; like the quiet sunday mornings where you’d sit together, sipping tea and watching the world wake up.

it was during one of those mornings, the sun just starting to filter through the curtains, that you and mina found yourselves reminiscing about the old days.

“do you ever think about the girls?” mina asked softly, her hand resting on yours, her touch still as warm as ever.

you nodded, your thoughts drifting back to the early days of your life together, back when twice had been at the height of their fame. “i do,” you said, your voice quiet with the weight of memories. “it feels like a lifetime ago.”

she sighed, her gaze distant as she thought of her old friends. “chaeyoung and dahyun…” she trailed off, her voice breaking slightly.

they had passed years ago, both gone too soon. chaeyoung’s death had hit the hardest —unexpected and sudden, a loss that none of you had been prepared for. dahyun had followed a few years later, her health declining steadily after a battle with illness. the grief had been heavy, but the bond between the remaining members of twice had only grown stronger with time, even as life took them in different directions.

“and tzuyu,” you added, feeling the familiar ache in your chest. tzuyu had lived a long, full life, but her passing had left a hole in all of you. “she was the last to go, wasn’t she?”

mina nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “and nayeon,” she said quietly. “she’s not doing well. i’m afraid she won’t make it next christmas.”

you knew. nayeon had been in and out of the hospital for years now, her health fragile, and though you both tried to stay in touch, it was difficult. the distance, both physical and emotional, had grown over the years.

but the love was still there, a bond that time couldn’t break

“we had a good life,” mina whispered, leaning her head against your shoulder. “didn’t we?”

you smiled, your heart full. “the best,” you agreed. “we’ve been through so much, but we made it through together. and our children and grandchildren, minari, they are beautiful.”

she smiled, her eyes closing as she let out a contented sigh. “i love you forever, y/n, in every lifetime, i’m certain i’m yours.”

“i love you too, my darling,” you whispered, your voice filled with all the love you had carried for her over the decades.

the two of you sat there for a while longer, the silence between you comfortable, the weight of the years resting gently on your shoulders.

when you woke up the next morning, the room was still.

mina didn’t wake.

you stared at her peaceful face, your heart breaking as you realised she left in her sleep. she looked so serene, as if she had simply drifted away, leaving behind nothing but the memory of her warmth.

the tears came before you could stop them, your chest tightening with grief so profound it felt like you couldn’t breathe.

your children came quickly, each of them devastated by the loss of their mother. yuto, always the calm one, held you close, his own grief hidden behind the mask of strength he wore for the rest of the family. haruka sobbed openly, her fiery nature unable to be contained in the face of such a loss. akira was silent, his face pale and drawn, while hana cried quietly, her hand clasped tightly in yours as you all tried to process the reality of a world without mina.

the remaining members of twice arrived shortly after, their faces etched with the same grief you felt. nayeon, despite her frail health, had insisted on being there, leaning heavily on jeongyeon for support. jeongyeon’s face was a mask of sorrow, her strong shoulders carrying not only her grief but that of those around her. momo remained quiet, she had always been close to mina, her hands were clasped and her lips trembled as she tried to hold back her tears. sana leaned against momo, her arms wrapped around her in comfort, and yet her own grief threatened to overwhelm her. and lastly…jihyo, the one who had organised the funeral and made sure it would be perfect for your wife, her usual composure cracking from the weight of losing mina.

they held a small, private funeral for mina, just family and her closest friends. it was simple, just like she would have wanted. the ceremony was filled with bittersweet memories, with stories of her laughter, her grace, her kindness. everyone spoke of how beautiful she was, inside and out, and how deeply she had touched their lives.

as you sat there, listening to the stories being shared, the grief felt overwhelming. it wasn’t just that you had lost your partner, your soulmate.

it was that an era had ended. the life you had built together, the memories you had shared, felt so fragile now.

“she was everything to me,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you spoke to those gathered around you. “i don’t know how to live without her.”

but the truth was, you didn’t have to.

because not even a week after mina’s passing, you went to bed one night and never woke up.

when your children found you, there was no shock, no surprise. there was only peace. they knew, as did the remaining members of twice, that you and mina were always meant to be together, in life and in death.

your passing was marked by another quiet funeral, this time with even more tears but also a sense of comfort. your children, yuto, haruka, akira, and hana, stood together, knowing that the love you and mina shared would live on in them. the twice members gathered again, this time to say goodbye to both of you, their tears mingling with soft laughter as they shared stories of the lives you had lived.

“they were always together,” nayeon uttered, her voice hoarse from crying. “it’s only fitting that they left together too.”

jeongyeon nodded, wiping at her eyes. “they lived a beautiful life. they were happy.”

“they had each other,” sana added softly, her voice filled with emotion.

and in the end, that was all that mattered.

you and mina, after decades of love, pain, joy, and sorrow, had found your way back to each other in the most permanent way possible.

and now, in whatever came next, you were together once again.

because that’s how it had always been, and that’s how it always would be.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the end

#kpop x reader #twice imagines #twice x reader #twice #mina x reader #mina imagines #myoui mina #kpop gg #angst

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ghostofthepresent · 2 months ago

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Why I think Shiguang can be canonically read as romantic

(I will only be using the donghua for reference, so no Studio Lan retweeting those fanarts (lmao) nor those especially gay manhwa panels (lmao x2) nor even the songs ("chase you to the end of the world, just to say your name once more" my beloved).

It's important to start off by saying that I'm aware Director Li said they ended up not making Lu Guang a girl because they didn't want romance to be seen as a must in Shiguang's relationship by the audience (and because he feels that "bros can have a good heart-to-heart connection with each other"). In my opinion that was a great move since it allows more freedom with how they write them than they'd have otherwise. I also think viewing Shiguang as queerplatonic is a great read too and it doesn't diminish their love for each other nor the importance of their relationship at all.

With that said, despite Director Li's words, there's been things that had me going 🤨 as someone who likes to adhere to canon relationships and read into the writer's intentions, so I wanted to share why I personally see them as romantic.

EPISODE 2

We've all seen this coming, right? Most obvious parallel ever, and in the second episode no less. We all know the similarities between both relationships, so I will just touch on those I consider the most important ones.

Lin Zhen and Yu Xia have gone to college together, and since then decided to start a business of their own - named after a mix of their names. They've been shown as being really close and having no romantic relationships. Lin Zhen also says that Yu Xia's happiness is her own, and then it's shown to us that she's gone through years of unhappiness just for Yu Xia. I believe you can replace their names with Lu Guang's and Cheng Xiaoshi's in your head without me writing all this again. And I'm not even going to get into the most obvious parallels like the special noodle recipe for each pair.

I think it's safe to say that Lin Zhen and Yu Xia are implied to be romantic. From that "one noodle" scene, to the close shot of Lin Zhen grabbing her hand, etc.

Now, I want to get into a writer's point of view and pose two questions:

1. What's the purpose of this episode, when even those which seem episodic connect to the overarching plot of season 1 (even the missing kid's case, as it leads to the involvement with the police)?

2. If we answer the previous question with the conclusion that it's meant to show us the nature/development of Cheng Xiaoshi's and Lu Guang's relationship, what does that say about it?

"Partner" in Link Click

Continuing with episode 2, what really got me thinking about the romantic intentions in their writing was the constant mention of marriage and anything in relation to it.

(may I remind everyone that the driver's comment was said when Cheng Xiaoshi was complaining about Lu Guang lmao)

They're telling us through "show don't tell" (for example, when Lin Zhen kept on eating the noodle despite knowing they'd kiss) and, also, connotations. They are presented to us as business partners, but then the entire episode goes on to tell us that there's more to them by tying their relationship to things percived as romantic. So what they want to really tell us is that beyond simple business partners, they're life-long partners.

And then, after establishing this kind of connotation to the word partner, Cheng Xiaoshi says this to Lu Guang in the next episode:

This doesn't stop at them. While it's the most obvious example, I think partnership in Link Click is intended to be seen as romantic, or at the very least dancing somewhere close to it. Let's go even further and take a look at our fully canon, heterosexual relationships and see briefly how their story is written:

1. Dong Yi and Xu Shanshan: both of them chose the comfort of each other's presence over moving on with their respective futures. Dong Yi had so much faith in their relationship and their love that he couldn't choose a life/future that didn't have Xu Shanshan - choosing to not go back to his family home nor go to that interview, and instead waiting for Xu Shanshan to define their relationship.

2. Liu Siwen and Ouyang: Siwen spent his entire life training with the purpose of getting his father-in-law's respect and marry Ouyang, going every year over and over to fight him. His perseverance and his undying love for her allowed Siwen to do the (seemingly) impossible.

3. Chen Bin and his wife: they're a tragedy. His wife understood Chen Bin the best, enduring feeling lonely because she loved him and wanted a future with him. But their relationship was cut short, so they promised each other to be together in a future life to make up for the time they wouldn't be in this one.

With this + the pictures I attached, it seems like Link Click has set this theme of "love is a life with you" for its romantic relationships, a partner that will fight to stay because they can't see a future that doesn't have their beloved. Going back to episode two, this applies even to the noodle ladies. When Yu Xia remembered what actually matters to her, she went back home - to the start, to her hometown. And, most importantly, to Lin Zhen.

So why is Shiguang romantic? Why aren't they queerplatonic, or just best friends, or bros or whatever else? Because besides what I said at the start of the previous paragraph, Shiguang's relationship mirrors a lot of the romantic ones. Each story and author writes romance and other kinds of relationships differently, portraying them in the way they perceive "this is what this kind of love is like". And beyond life-long partners, I think that the key elements of romantic relationships in Link Click are the ones I highlighted in bold above in the 3 canon relationships part - which Shiguang shares, too.

(I didn't mention this before with the het couples, but I find it a little amusing that season 2 happened because a man wanted to go to the past and get his wife back (still fuck you Qian Jin) and then we find out Lu Guang did go back to the past and got his boyfriend partner back lmao).

"Friend" vs "Partner"

So where is the boundary between platonic and romantic? What marks the difference between a (best) friend and a partner?

There is, for example, Liu Xiao and Li Tianchen's relationship. They aren't shown to have any kind of romantic undertones and there's even the very real possibility of manipulation on Liu Xiao's side. They're also never labeled as nor call each other partners, but instead Li Tianchen says he "met a new friend" and Liu Xiao says he's "going to meet an old friend" years later. So we could say for now that they have a somewhat close relationship (we see Li Tianchen go against Qian Jin to give the phone to Liu Xiao), but never cross that "friend" label.

We can even bring Qiao Ling and the boys' relationship. She's never labeled as a partner despite taking part in the side job and, more importantly, being super close to both of them. She is very important and a cherished friend to Shiguang, so why not call her partner too? I think it's intentional. Since she's been given a familial role already (calling Cheng Xiaoshi her brother when talking to Li Tianxi), she can't fill a partner role. I wonder why? because it's supposed to be a synonym for a romantic relationship. who said that.

So even best friends (Qiao Ling, arguably what Liu Xiao is to Li Tianchen) don't enter this close space that is being a partner. It's different, it's beyond platonic. Or at least that's what they've been showing us for the past two seasons.

I could go soo much more into this honestly, because I do think the little hints thrown here (the music videos) and there (tiny seemingly inconsequential details) are worth to be looked at too, but I wanted to get into the core reason that makes me go "woah so they're In Love fr". I hope I expressed myself well ^^

tldr; the series shows us a divide between having a (best) friend and a partner, giving "partners" romantic connotations.

#again!! all this is why i personally think they lean more on romantic than platonic #i think seeing shiguang as queerplatonic is a valid read too #they just write love (in general) very beautifully in this show so i wanted to put my two cents #also while writing this i realized i could yap more about s1ep2 beyond the romance stuff. i love it a lot #also!! i'm aware the word partner in general has romantic connotations sdfjhgk but link click makes it so that it's Just. romantic ykwim #ALSO sorry to yap here but sorry if anything i said has alreaady been said before 😓 i've been a bit out of the fandom #anyways. shiguang <3 #link click #shiguang

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keikakudom · 10 months ago

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I decided to make a HH AU cause...y'know....anyway.... now introducing

Reset Resort! A Hotelier Vox AU

- you already know, it's a hotel Vox AU.....but not quite what you're thinking. Kind of a swap between Alastor and Vox, it focuses on the butterfly effects of this single change, rather than a full reversal.

- Most things are kinda(?) the same. Except the hotel is not as run-down and quite more successful. As if S1’s hotel started with S2's reputation and building. It's also more modern/sleek and closer to your typical strip hotel. Much more busy with additional residents coming in and out. Think Vegas-style. It has way too many amenities than necessary, and it's actually an enjoyable place to hang out , but the message for "redemption" might be a bit....lost.

- It’s supposed to be a place where Sinners can (lightly) indulge in their vices without risk of falling into a soul-binding deal on their road to recovery.

- In this AU, movement between Sinners/Winners has been proven. NOT redemption yet. With this “concrete” evidence, Vox considers it "purely a business investment" to sponsor the hotel.

- Because of this "proof", Heaven has granted Hell/Charlie a grace period of an extra year with no exterminations, so long as they continue to monitor the process and Hell provides further progress and evidence of redemption.

Vox is there for the start up of the hotel with Charlie. He sponsors her project with his reach and expertise. His personality is much more subdued, his TV persona taking center stage, except for rare occasions. His temper is not as bad as in-canon. AKA, he’s much more fake and corny in this AU.

Charlie is slightly more mature and realistic in this AU. She studies redemption seriously and notes behavioral patterns/is much more patient and careful with the process. With Vox being extremely efficient and taking over the managerial/facility side of the resort, she is able to dedicate her time fully towards the redemption of sinners and being a therapist. She is still overzealous sometimes because she knows that if nobody else will show enthusiasm/push sinners to do better, then nobody will.

- Vox tried to manipulate Charlie very early on when they first met, and Charlie ended up realizing his kindness was just for his own benefit and has been wary of that fact ever since.

- Their relationship is like: she knows he’s reliable and will do everything she asks, but is doubtful/sad that he’s ingenuine. Vox thinks Charlie looks at him with pity and absolutely HATES it, but he still plays carefully so he can do a repeat and build up her trust again. Doesn't like Vaggie for a similar reason. They just think he's another misguided sinner in need. Neither have fully grasped the idea that most Sinners chose to do-evil(which he certainly has).

- Vox holds a contract with Lucifer. What for? Well... let's say that they're on good terms and are friends. They meet with each other once a week (where Lucifer gets social interaction and updates on Charlie).

I already have sketches for Alastor and Vaggie planned out in this AU~

It's less of a full "reversal" and more so one swap and the butterfly effect that follows. This AU has been my brainchild for a few weeks, so PLEASEEE I'd love to answer any questions or asks....

My AU tag is #au: reset resort

All information can be found under there! Until I make a masterpost or something.

Old design under the cut:

#hazbin hotel #my art #au: reset resort #vox #charlie

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joelmillers-whore · 1 year ago

Text

I'll Be Here In The Morning

summary: after a heated argument, you try to go to sleep alone, but joel knows you can’t and he doesn’t like not sleeping next to you. he comes back and the next thing you know, the two of you can’t keep your hands off of each other.

Recommended Song(s): Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

Word Count: 4.2K

Series or One-Shot

Warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, joel x female!reader, no mention of Y/N, no outbreak, slight relationship insecurity, they have a fight but it’s not shown, SMUT, joel calling reader darlin’ because why not, joel reassuring them and being sweet, also age gap i guess, canon divergent, praise kink, unsafe sex (don't be like joel, use a condom)

A/N: hey ya’ll! this is my first TLOU fic and i am so excited to post it here (also my first time posting on here). i am an AO3 user through and through but i thought it was time to broaden my horizon so to speak. i was so overwhelmed with how many of you wanted to see this type of fic, so please don’t hesitate to tell me what you think or request anything you want to see. i’ll try to get to it/ i’m trying to be more active. i’m not sure if my asks are open so let me know if that works lol. anyway, i hope ya’ll enjoy this!!

Slamming the bedroom door behind you, you crossed your arms over your chest. You were angry, furious even, mostly with yourself but also with your boyfriend. Anger was coursing through your veins, pumping white-hot rage through them that made your chest constrict when you thought back to the petty fight you’d had with Joel not ten minutes ago.

It was mindless, stupid bullshit but you’d gotten angry over it anyway. You weren’t even a hundred percent sure just how it started, but you did know that you had been a simmering pot, ready and waiting to explode. So you had needed to get out of there, away from him. You didn’t fight with Joel often, even though your clashing personalities would beg to differ. When you did get angry though, there was no holding either of you back.

You and Joel each had your own way of dealing with anger and most times, you chose to walk away, not wanting to accidentally say the wrong thing or to say something hurtful that you didn’t mean in the heat of the moment. So, here you were. In the bedroom. Fighting back against your racing heart and rising body temperature.

You had come back home after a long day on your feet and something mundane had set you off, and Joel just happened to be in the line of fire. Before long, you and Joel had gotten into it and not in the fun and sexy way you found yourself always wanting from him, regardless of what kind of mood you were in.

You thought back to the argument and how dark and endless Joel’s eyes had looked, how they seared into you when you were fighting, keeping you locked in and firmly in place. A shiver ran up the length of your spine as you imagined how he had crossed his arms, clearly in frustration, but how even when you were angry, you hadn’t been able to look away from his broad chest or how the material of his shirt had been pulled so tautly over his bulging muscles, making you bite your lip.

That annoying little flutter in the pit of your stomach made you groan in exasperation because even when you were upset with him, you couldn’t deny the sexual chemistry you and Joel had.

You shook your head, trying to shake yourself from your lust-induced daydream. You were overtired from work and clearly still reeling from an argument that you hadn’t been expecting to come home to. You glanced over at the clock; it was later than you had realized it was. How long had you and Joel been fighting for?

The all too familiar feeling of regret settled into your bones. You hated fighting with Joel, with the one person you considered to be more of a family to you than your actual family. But what was done was done and there was no going back now.

Neither one of you held onto anger for long, both of you deciding a long time ago that if either one of you were still angry in the morning over what had transpired the night before, you would agree to sit down and hash it out. That rule had probably saved your relationship more than once, and anger between the two of you never lasted for more than two days at most.

Rolling back your shoulders, you held firm to the idea that holding onto what you had said and dwelling on it wouldn’t help you now, so you thought about something else instead. You thought about how your muscles ached and how a migraine was slowly forming. The only cure that could help you now was sleep.

You knew that come the morning you and Joel would be back to bickering lovingly with each other and laughing over breakfast, just like how it always turned out. He was bound to forgive you, you hoped. But what if this fight was the one that tipped him over the edge? What if when he left, he wouldn’t come back?

Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach like a thousand-pound boulder. You bit back the sting of tears and honed your hearing, listening for anything in the darkness that enveloped you. Disappointment manifested quickly when you heard nothing, except for your harsh breathing. Fuck.

You had fucked up royally, laying into him like that. And he wasn’t even there so you could fix it, there was really nothing you could do at the moment. You debated for a minute about calling him but you decided against it. He needed time to cool off— you both did. And you wanted to give him that time.

With a heavy heart, you started getting ready for bed. Maybe if you went through the motions, pretended like everything was fine, and sped through the night, Joel would be there when you woke up, smirking like you were his whole world again. So you rid yourself of your clothes and changed into something more comfortable; one of Joel’s shirts that went down to your knees and some sleep shorts. You lifted the hem of the shirt to your nose and inhaled, getting lost in the scent of him that still lingered.

It was warm and clean with a faint hint of coffee. It was Joel to the core and you rubbed your thighs together when you thought about how that scent crowded you when you and him made love, or when you had first started seeing each other, you had stayed up during a rain storm and just talked for the whole night, staying awake on black coffee and powdered donuts.

Mindlessly, you climbed into bed and settled in, trying to fall asleep despite the gnawing feeling in your gut. You sighed heavily, flipping over the pillow and then fluffing it, repeating the motions until you made your head spin. You never could sleep alone. Even before you had met Joel, you hated it. And right now, you hated it even more, especially when you reached over to his side, feeling for him.

But there was nothing there except the coldness of the sheets. You grew annoyed at yourself for how needy you felt without him snuggling next to you, his body heat warming you up better than any blanket could. You wanted Joel here, not anywhere else. And he knew it, which was why he almost never left you to sleep alone if he could avoid it. Almost never. Until now.

You closed your eyes and tried to count sheep, thinking that it could help. You tried not to concentrate on how alone you felt or how you missed him so much it hurt. Counting sheep must have helped because before you knew it, you found yourself in a dreamless sleep, tossing and turning for the majority of the night. Your ears pricked up when you heard a noise, thinking you heard the bedroom door open. You stiffened, attempting to remain calm and closing your eyes tighter.

Whoever it was moved around in the dark, their shadow fidgeting with the dresser before they climbed into bed next to you. They nudged themselves closer to you and relief washed over you when you recognized their scent. It was Joel. He came back. Just like he always did.

He shuffled his body closer to you, his solid front melding to your back, as his face snuggled into the crook of your shoulder, just how you liked it. It confirmed that he was there and he wasn’t just a figment of your imagination.

“You still mad?”, Joel mumbled, his Southern drawl coming out gruffer as he tried to keep his voice low. He nuzzled your shoulder deeper, planting a soft kiss there.

You shook your head, as best as you could in the position you were in. You were well past the anger stage. And right now, you just wanted him beside you, with you. Right here. You felt Joel’s growing hardness rest against your back and a dull throbbing started in your cunt, making you squirm.

“I thought you weren’t coming back”, you croaked, the shroud of darkness acting as a shield against how scared you were at the thought of Joel not coming back at all.

Joel held you tighter, his arms flexing as he wrapped them around you in the same way you were used to. His gesture of keeping you close was more of a comfort to you than any of his words could. You craned your neck slightly, trying to make out the expression that was on Joel’s face, but it was hard.

The bedroom was mostly dark except for a tiny sliver of moonlight that shined through the window, and even then, it was tough. You could make out the tiniest of details in the low light; like the imperceptible way that his eyebrows creased when he was focused on you, or how you could tell that he was still smiling because of the way his eyes crinkled, despite being unsure of your mood. God, you loved this man.

Joel was there for you and you let out a tentative and shaky breath, grateful that he came back to you. You let any remaining tension drain from your body, and shifted your hips, which earned you a sharp groan from Joel, his hand flying to hold your hips in place.

“I’ll always come back to you, darlin’”, his voice was gruff and came out strained. His hot breath fanned over your ear, “Always”.

“Promise?”, you asked, grinding back into him again. It was the last confirmation you needed and then you would drop it, let the argument fade away.

You could hear the smile in Joel’s voice, “Promise”.

The tightness that had been sitting on your chest was no more and you were feeling bold, and a little more than turned on. The idea that Joel would always come back to you made you wet, and you rubbed your thighs together, trying to alleviate some of the pressure you felt between your legs.

As if sensing your arousal, Joel’s hand wrapped around your middle, pulling your ass flush with his erection, his hand splayed across your clothed stomach, holding you to him.

You felt his short stubble run along the side of your neck, and your jaw, the abrasive sensation making your pussy flutter with the idea of that stubble rubbing against you harshly, until you were swollen and red down there.

“Baby...”, Joel protested weakly, his half-hearted attempt at drawing out the tension between you two. But there was tension and it was a string that was being pulled taut, ready to snap at any moment.

You grabbed Joel’s hand that was on your stomach, guiding it lower and lower until you stopped at the waistband of your sleep shorts, your chest on fire from your choppy breathing.

“Please, Joel”, you whined, grinding your ass back into him and moving your hips in slow circles, spurring him on. “I want you to make me feel so good like you always do”.

You were back to guiding Joel’s hand past the waistband of your shorts, into your underwear where he could feel how wet you were for him. He groaned, the vibrations from it making your skin tingle. An almost non-existent fuck was whispered as Joel’s hand found your soaking cunt, his deft fingers sliding through your folds.

When you removed your hand from his, letting him take charge, he hesitated. But when his thumb found your clit and you moaned, throwing your head back, he continued, not stopping for even a second.

“This good?”, he asked, as he teased your hole with his thick digit, pulsing the finger in and out, just enough to taunt you with pleasure and then rip it away when it felt too good. It was frustrating but you figured you somewhat deserved it for the fight from earlier.

You hummed, “Mo-more”, and you bucked into his hand, gyrating against it as you searched for more friction.

Joel sucked the pulse on your neck hard and you groaned, your head rolling to the side in pure ecstasy as he licked the spot when he pulled away. Fulfilling your command, he continued to work you over, work you to the edge. Your moans mixed with the sound of his finger, which soon became two fingers, pumping into you, a squelching emanating from you with every pump.

He was stretching you out, trying to prep you for his cock. Even this far into the relationship you needed some prep, he was that big. But you wouldn’t want it any other way. You loved his size and his girth and how deep he could go.

“Can you come for me, darlin’?”, Joel asked, as a groan slipped past his lips.

You flinched when his fingers curled, bringing you back to the moment as a tingle started low in your belly, the pressure building and building until it was too much, it was all too much.

“Fuck—”, you cried, cutting yourself off as your orgasm slammed into you, making you see stars. It was searing and hot and violent.

Your hips stuttered as they rocked into Joel’s hand, finding comfort in the fact that he was still lazily pumping into you, helping you ride out the aftershock.

“That’s my good girl”, he praised, thumb whispering over your swollen clit. You whined from the added pressure, feeling another orgasm start to build.

You had just cum and yet Joel was ready and willing to give you another one. Even when his engorged cock was nestled into your back, twitching with the need for his own release. He wanted— no, needed to give you your pleasure before he could seek out his own. Joel teased your clit again, pinching it as you yelped.

He removed his hand from your underwear and brought it to his mouth. You still weren’t facing him but you could hear the obscene sounds coming from him as he licked and sucked his fingers clean of your juices, not letting a drop go to waste. Fuck, you were so turned on already it was positively insane.

Joel gripped your waist and turned your body toward him, positioning himself so that he was slotted in between your legs, his upper body resting on his forearms, so as to not crush you with his body weight. Both of your chests were heaving at this point as another shot of excitement and arousal shot through you.

You brought a hand to Joel’s cheek, thumbing over his scruff and savouring this tender moment between the two of you.

“I’m sorry”, you said, swallowing your nerves.

In the softness of the moonlight, Joel’s eyes glimmered when they looked down at you. It wasn’t quite lust or amusement in them, but something else, something closer to love and adoration.

He dipped his head down and kissed you. It was tempered and subdued but sweet as he licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance into your mouth. You granted it to him, letting him explore your mouth like it was the first time. A swallowed-up moan left you and Joel pulled back.

“Me too”.

It was simple and yet he meant it with his whole heart, you were certain of that. Picking up where you left off, Joel palmed your breast through your— his shirt, making you tremble beneath him. He pinched your nipple and it made you arch your back off the bed, both to escape and chase that feeling.

“Let’s get this shirt off, hmm?”, Joel mused, playing with the hem of it. You nodded and lifted your upper body off of the bed as he helped you out of it, tossing it somewhere behind him.

“Your turn”, you said, almost breathlessly, and Joel obliged. He sat up on his knees and stripped himself of his own shirt.

You couldn’t help but pause and appreciate him and his physique. He wasn’t insanely built like an athlete or someone who stuck to a strict diet all so that they could get a six-pack. Joel’s body was sculpted from years of manual labour and although some might not be turned on by a broad chest and a toned stomach, you certainly were, and you were enamoured by it.

Your hand seemed to have had a mind of its own because you were raking your fingernails along his chest and stomach, drawing a line all the way down to his waistband. You watched as his muscles tensed from your touch, his eyes snapping shut like he had to concentrate on restraining himself.

Your hand remained on his waistband, your index finger playing with the dark line of hair that led all the way past the pants and to the straining member, you knew awaited you.

“If you don’t quit staring at me like that, darlin’, this might be over before either of us want it to be”, he drawled, quiet and low.

Your eyes snapped to his, which were dark and endless pools filled with lust. He looked like he was ready to devour you and your thoughts came to life when he gripped your thighs forcefully and spread them apart, making quick work of peeling you out of your shorts and drenched panties.

Joel groaned above you, “Such a pretty pussy, and ‘s all for me, ain’t she?”. He bit the tender flesh of your inner thigh, making you jump. But you didn’t go very far, his grip on the back of your thighs holding you close to him and keeping you in place.

You wiggled your hips, trying to get him to hurry up, “All for you”, you whine.

Joel chuckled, but didn’t tease you for much longer, answering your silent prayer as he dove into your cunt, lapping and sucking like he was a man starved. You writhed beneath him as he continued, not letting up as he brought you to the edge of another orgasm.

“How you feelin’, baby?”, Joel asked, as he came up for air. You nodded fervently, feeling like you could die if he didn’t continue what he was doing.

He chuckled as he went back in, the vibrations making your head swirl and your toes curl at the sensation of his tongue fucking into you. You were so close it hurt and Joel could tell.

He shushed you before bringing his thumb to your clit and massaging it in tandem with his tongue, making you mewl and bury your hands in his short hair, pulling at his scalp as you begin to grind yourself on his face, practically riding him as you chase your high.

“I’m gonna—”, and you do.

You cum hard and quick, this orgasm ripping into you like a hurricane. The blinding wave of pleasure had all of your inhibitions clouded, as a light buzz started coasting through your body, leaving you sated. Your mouth is agape, a mix of a whimper and a shrill moan escaping you.

You felt as though you had just run a marathon, your body was on fire and yet there was a calm as you came down. You revelled in the aftermath of your orgasm, feeling drunk off of it. There was a slick layer of sweat that coated your whole body, but you didn’t seem to care. Your mind was quiet as you listened to your breathing, your heart hammering below the surface.

Running a hand through your hair, you felt the mattress dip when Joel shifted his body weight, his beard glistening with your slick. You reach down and grab his face with both hands, bringing him to your lips. You groan when you taste yourself on him, the tang fueling your growing desire to be filled deep with him.

Joel murmured something against your lips but you couldn’t hear, your heart beating too loudly. “What?”, you asked.

“I need to be inside of you”, he whispers again, and you moan as he ruts into your bare core.

“Then do it”, you said, looking at him through hooded eyes.

Joel bit his lip, shaking his head as he stripped out of his jeans and then his boxers. His dick was thick and angry, the tip a bright red as it leaked pre-cum. You followed a drop with your eyes as it trailed down the shaft and you licked your lips at the sight.

Joel chuckled, the noise shooting straight to your needy core. You sat up slightly, reaching out for his cock but he stopped you, “Not tonight, sweet thing”, he stated, “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to last if you start suckin’ me off”.

You keened at his words, desperate for some sort of relief. You snaked your hand from the pillow all the way down your chest, rubbing your nipple as you moaned, Joel’s eyes never leaving you. His eyes on you felt right, like you were putting on a show just for him, and in a way, you were. He watched your hand slide lower down your stomach and finally disappear between your legs.

“Goddammit”, Joel hissed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly, “What’d I just say?”.

He ripped your hand away from your aching cunt, pining it above your head as punishment. You let out a choked sob, “Please...”.

Joel’s cock twitched against his stomach at your plea, and he released you. He gripped his length and tugged harshly, letting beads of pre-cum dribble all over his hand.

You watched him throw his head back as he panted above you, finding a rhythm. As you opened your mouth to whine and tell him that you needed him, he grabbed the back of your legs and folded you in half, thrusting his hard cock into your pussy.

The force of him slamming his cock inside of you without much warning was enough to make you cry out. You couldn’t focus on much more than the pleasure that he could provide. It was as if you could never be fully satisfied, not when it came to Joel. You would always want him as desperately as he wanted you, each and every time. His hips snapped into yours, almost to the point of pain as he set a demanding pace, burying himself deeper and deeper into you.

“So”. He grunted with a thrust. “Fucking”. Another snap of his hips. “Needy”. Thrust.

Joel was never one to deny you, and you knew that. You might have been needy but he was willing to give you whatever you needed. And most times, all you needed was him. Him and that fucking delicious cock. So, he made sure he delivered you another orgasm. You chased your release, the desire striking you like a bolt of lightning— fast, powerful, and all-consuming.

It started in your toes and rushed in. Joel’s thick cock pumped in and out of you hungrily. He was both providing you with another orgasm and trying to find his own release. Each thrust was more punishing than the last, each angle hitting the right spot, and guiding you both to your release.

“That’s it, baby”, he groaned, manhandling you until you were basically straddling him, his hands on your back, holding you steady.

“Can you gimme another one?”, Joel purred into your ear as he fucked up into you, his hips losing their rhythm and you knew he was close.

“I’ll try”, you said, snaking a hand in between your bodies, and rubbing your cunt in time with each pound of his hips.

“That’s it, you’re doing so good”.

He barely finished his sentence before you were shaking in his arms, finding your orgasm from his praise.

Drunk on only two orgasms, you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, too sensitive and too sated at the same time, “Mmm, love when you make me come”.

Joel laughed with adoration as he continued fucking you, chasing his own release. “And I love makin’ you come, darlin’”.

You felt your walls clamp around his cock, milking him for all he was worth. With a final few pumps, he groaned, letting his head fall against your shoulder. Joel tensed slightly and his body shook as he deposited ropes of cum deep into you.

Your head lolled to the side, feeling his body grow slack against yours. His was flush against you, trying to control his breathing as you did the same, your arms wrapped around him as you stroked his back.

A long moment of comfortable silence passed before he lifted his head up, scanning your face. You smiled tiredly at him as he kissed you, letting the bliss wash over you both.

Joel kissed your forehead and slipped out of you. You in turn whined at the loss of being full of him. Your limbs were heavy as you melted into the mattress, feeling Joel collapse next to you. His arm drifted around your waist, pulling you into his side.

He kissed your temple affectionately, “‘m sorry about our fight”.

You nodded, snuggling closer to him. “I know”, you bit your lip, contemplating your next words, “I just worry that one day we’ll really get into it and you’ll never come back”.

Joel stiffened for a moment, before he turned to you, whispering into your hair, “You don’t need to worry ‘bout that ever, darlin’. Because I’ll always be here in the morning”.

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mylight-png · 1 year ago

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I refuse to be told to "move on" from October 7th. I simply refuse.

You know the thing about trauma? You don't really get the choice to move on. You may be living in the future, but at least a part of your mind is trapped in that horrible moment. Sometimes that part of you can never escape.

Right now, as I'm writing this, I am sitting at my desk in my room. But right now, as I am writing this a part, huge part, of me is still in that airport. That part of me is still staring at my phone, trying to catch its breath but failing. That part of me is still watching in shock as the death count rises, the videos of Hamas's atrocities are broadcasted everywhere I see, the celebration of my people being massacred is burning my eyes. My ears are hearing the wailing sirens from when I was last in Israel. My hands are still feeling the shaking of the walls as the Iron Dome intercepts attempts upon the lives of my family and me. My heart is hurting for each life lost and each family left broken.

My body is here, in January 10th. My mind is not. My mind, and the mind of nearly every Jew is still stuck in October 7th.

Do not think we chose this. If I could choose indifference, if I could choose apathy, if I could choose ignorance, I wouldn't feel so constantly triggered and in pain.

But nobody gets to choose trauma.

This wasn't a unique trauma, a first-time event. Pogroms are nothing new to us, genocides and attempts at such against us aren't anything new, hateful libel and lies are near-constants.

That's part of what made October 7th so much worse.

I grew up hearing about how my great-grandfather lost his entire family to the Holocaust, how my ancestors survived pogroms, how my parents faced systemic antisemitism in the USSR.

We all grew up hearing our parents and grandparents tell us about antisemitism.

And do not think we were ignorant of it. I was well aware that the world is not even close to shedding its deeply ingrained antisemitism.

I was aware of it when I wrote a speech about discussion of modern antisemitism and being told it was "well-written but controversial". I was aware of it when my teacher said I was responding "emotionally, not academically" to an author claiming antisemitism and the Holocaust weren't "that bad".

I was aware of it when a synagogue near me got shot up, a synagogue I've been to. I was aware of it because I had no other choice.

But it had always felt like it was "winding down" from what my parents had told me. Yes what my teacher did was bad but at least he didn't explicitly single me out for being a Jew and intentionally fail me. Yes the feedback for my speech was hurtful but it wasn't like I was being violently censored. Yes the shooting was awful but it wasn't a full-blown pogrom.

I'm not saying my logic was correct. Far from it. But that's how it felt before October 7th.

When October 7th happened I saw that nothing was "winding down" as I had previously thought. People were still just as keen to gleefully cheer on the killing of Jews as they had been. The world is just as slow to act when Jews are being forcibly held and tortured and killed. Blood libel and ideas of the "doctor's plot" are alive and well.

Oct 7th triggered old trauma, Oct 7th was traumatic in its own right, and for most of us, Oct 7th proved that antisemitism isn't going anywhere. It isn't winding down or getting better.

And that kind of pain? That kind of trauma? That sticks with you.

You wouldn't tell any other person to get over their trauma. So what makes it ok to say it to traumatized Jews as we are still processing the largest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust?

That behavior is horrible and inexcusable.

Trauma is trauma, you don't get to decide who does or doesn't have the right to be traumatized. You don't get to decide how people discuss their trauma.

#jumblr #jewish #judaism #jew #proud israeli #israel solidarity #opinion #discourse #antisemitism #trauma #generational trauma

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justwinginglife · 5 months ago

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hi can I request sochiro x reader arrange marriage where the girl is a platoon leader in the third and first division. And her parents want her to quit her job to be a housewife, but like she’s very good at it. And her and soshiro don’t really get along and when they sleep together it’s always after they argue because in her head she thinks the only way she can hurt him is if she runs her nails down his back. Furthermore they start to eventually fall for each other I’ll let you decide how. But then he starts to get jealous at the guys that clearly like her and he kinda wants to claim her. Idk something like that can you make it angsty too pls

thank you sorry for the trouble

Don't apologize, it's no trouble at all! Sorry I took so long with this prompt, was just trying to figure out all the in's and out's. Honestly not even sure if this is what you wanted, but this is my attempt. ALSO THIS IS NSFW IF YALL COULDN'T TELL.

The Best Kind Of Disaster

You expected marriage to a stranger to be difficult but not a disaster. It was, in fact, quite disastrous. But your parents had begged you to quit your job as a Platoon Leader in the First Division and this was your compromise with them- you'd marry anyone they chose on the condition that they quit complaining about your work and stop trying to get you to become a housewife. So now you were in this mess for better or for worse and this disaster was yours to keep.

Honestly, you'd originally thought this marriage would be a breeze. The man you had saddled yourself with was none other than Vice Captain Hoshina of the Defense Force's Third Division so you knew he'd at least understand your duty if he didn't understand anything else. And he was quite the looker too. But looks don't solve everything and you were starting to realize that more and more, day by day.

You blamed Captain Narumi for your troubles. You'd taken too much of his personality into you, after working with him so long, and Hoshina could feel it. Every little behavior that was Gen's, every reflex, every smartass comment, the way you fought, even the tone of your voice sometimes resembled his, and Hoshina was not having it.

He constantly complained that if he wanted to marry Narumi he would've just married Narumi. And you were constantly pissed that he'd never recognize you as your own person. You couldn't even drink your tea or read a book without him making some snide comment about how Narumi probably taught you how to put a proper cup together or how he probably taught you how to read. Then you'd shoot back with some snarky comment of your own but it only furthered his opinion that you were just another Narumi copy.

One day, you'd decided to show him the specific ways in which you were different from Narumi. Your anatomy, in particular.

He had come home from a particularly long day at work and had too much energy to burn off, too much stress on his lower half. You noticed the little bulge in his pants and thought you'd tease him a little but he didn't take the vulgar comments well. In no time at all, he had you in a chokehold on the ground. You thought you might break his boner with the sudden urge to kick him in the crotch, but that fire inside you went somewhere else when you saw his little smirk. It was the first time you'd even seen some resemblance of a smile on his face, and the thought that you being underneath him was what had pleased him sent those flames rushing to the space between your legs.

You smirked right back and adjusted your weight, yanking him to the floor and positioning yourself on top him.

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Fucking wannabe Narumi."

"Fucking second-rate samurai."

"I bet Narumi fucks better than you do."

"I bet Soichiro fucks better than you do."

He growled at that, rolling over so you were pinned underneath him again. He ground his hips up against yours and the feeling of his erection fucking you through your pants got your underwear soaking. He started sucking and biting harshly at your neck as though he were trying to tear your throat out with his teeth. But you liked the pain. It was surprisingly the most attracted you'd ever been to him.

You yanked his shirt off, only able to admire his rock-hard physique for a minute before he shoved his tongue down your throat. You almost choked on it and he smirked against your lips. He was so fucking smug and it pissed you off- in the sexiest way.

You bit his lip hard and he groaned at the sharp sensation.

To get you back, he gripped your breast tight, squeezing at it with full force. Then he ripped your shirt off and began sucking at his target aggressively, dragging his tongue back and forth over your nipple relentlessly. You moaned and began cupping your other breast, to which he responded by shoving your hand away from your chest.

"Did I fucking tell you that you could touch yourself? You're going to pay for making that comment about my brother. I'm gonna fuck you so hard you can't see straight and you're going to take back your words, so don't go getting off before I can destroy you properly."

"Promises, promises. You talk a big game for being the lesser Hoshina." You teased with daring eyes.

He knew you were baiting him but he didn't care, he used it as fuel to unleash all his jealousy and fury on you. "We'll see if you'll still be saying that by the time I'm done with you. I'm gonna send you back to Narumi so fucking cum drunk he won't be able to recognize you."

And with that, not wanting to waste anymore time talking, he jerked your pants off of you and jabbed his fingers at your panties. He wouldn't give you the satisfaction of feeling him fully inside you yet. He just teased at your entrance, roughly dragging his fingers up and down your underwear, pleased at just how much wetter he was making it.

You groaned at the unnecessary teasing and before he could react, you wrenched your underwear to the side and shoved his two fingers inside you, thrusting your hips into them.

He hissed but he didn't resist, he just kept pumping his fingers deep inside you. "So fucking impatient and so fucking wet."

"Thought you were gonna show me something special, or do I have to ask your brother if I want a good time?"

You could almost feel his glare searing holes into your skull and the thought got you so damn horny. "Fuck me then, Soshiro."

It was the first time he'd heard you say his first name and he groaned as he palmed his growing erection through his pants. Then he yanked it out, fucking his hand until there was enough precum drizzling down his throbbing cock.

You wanted to make some sassy comment about his shrimpy size (honestly, it was huge but you didn't need him to have anymore ego than he already did so you thought you'd knock him down a peg), but before you could form any words, a yelp had already escaped your throat as you realized he'd just shoved his full length inside you.

He was grinning widely now, amused by the precious little noises escaping your quivering lips.

You bit your lip to silence them but more moans came clumsily tumbling out as he continued to relentlessly thrust into you until you thought he might bruise your sensitive walls. Might make you bleed out underneath him.

You wanted your share of his blood too and you dug your nails into his back, as you braced yourself for his next onslaught. The feeling of you piercing his skin did more to him than either of you thought it would, because his pace picked up, like he was eager to come with your nails carved into him.

The sound of him desperately fucking your dripping pussy, panting heavily as he groaned into your chest, sent you over the edge. Never mind that you were married and this is what married couples did, no this act of intimacy with him felt filthy, felt corrupt. You hated each other. So why did it feel so obscenely good? If this feeling were a tangible object, you would've locked it away and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean.

But regardless, the feeling of pure orgasmic pleasure washed over you anyway and you shuddered underneath him, clenching around his dick as you came in waves. He took this as permission to thrust into you again, this time pumping hot white sheets of his cum inside your velvety depths.

He finished filling you up and pulled out abruptly, but to your surprise he then flipped you over on your stomach and plunged his still-dripping cock inside your ass, continuing his assault on your trembling body.

You whimpered at this new sensation and he soaked up the sound. You hadn't wanted to inflate his ego but you'd done it all the same.

He reached around you and roughly flicked a finger at your clit as he thrust into your ass deeper.

"If you beg me to stop I will." You could almost hear his stupid smirk.

You didn't want to give him the satisfaction. "What, you don't got the stamina to finish the job, Hoshina?"

He chuckled darkly, and removed his hand from your swollen clit, much to your dismay. Then he dug his hands into your hips before pounding into you harder.

The pain and the pleasure were so beautifully distracting that you almost forgot you hated him. You could get lost in the feeling of being underneath him, of making him so wild for you that he'd fuck you round after round, cum still fresh on his dick each time.

The arousing thoughts forced another orgasm from you, and you squirt all over the floor as he pumped his seed deep into your ass.

You collapsed on the ground, dripping from front and back, and he pulled away from you to admire his handiwork while he caught his breath.

You thought maybe the sudden intimacy would change something in your relationship, make you sweeter to each other, kinder to each other, but that hope was ripped from your mind when he made a stupid fucking comment about liking you better when you were all pathetic for him and you ended up kneeing him in the balls.

Months later, you were still making petty comments and snarky digs at each other, but that first initial sexual encounter proved that one thing had in fact changed in your relationship- hate sex was now on the table and the both of you were ready to use it at a moment's notice.

You got more kills than him in combat? He'd take it out on your clit.

He said your cooking was shit? You blew him so hard he begged for seconds. You forced him to retry your food and rethink his stance on it, then you choked him down again afterwards.

Little by little, you both unconsciously began to seek each other out more and more; of course, you both used the sex as a cover, but even when you weren't having sex you were still looking for each other, looking for ways to be closer.

He said he wanted to blow your back out but really he wanted to wish you a happy birthday and he snuck a gift into your room when you weren't looking.

You said you wanted to milk him dry, but you really wanted to distract him from the bad day he was having.

He said he wanted to fuck you until you dropped, but really he wanted you away from base when they were looking for volunteers for a particularly dangerous mission.

All this tip-toeing, just to avoid the simple truth that your relationship had evolved into what marriage was supposed to be in the first place. If you really thought about it, it should've been easy. You were already married, how hard could it be to confess your feelings to your husband? But you didn't like to think about it, didn't like to wonder if you were overestimating your relationship, if you were overthinking every nice gesture he made, if you were really just a body for him to have sex with. You couldn't stand the thought of being desperately in love with him and him seeing you as just another woman. Just some baggage he'd gotten bogged down with. Even if he had grown fond of you, was it just in the way one was fond of a pet?

So you kept quiet. And so did he.

And for awhile, it seemed like your relationship would forever be suspended in this state. But then you got asked out on a date and the aching in your heart made you realize everything you were missing from your current relationship. You wanted to be pursued, you wanted to be chased after. You'd almost forgotten what it was like to be desired.

So now, here was this tall, handsome man asking you out, offering you everything you could've ever wanted, and all you could do was flounder. Of course you wanted to be seduced, wanted to be wanted, but he wasn't Soshiro. No one would ever be Soshiro to you.

Right as you were about to reject him, you felt a hand wrap around your waist, the grip firm and protective.

"I really hope I heard wrong, because you better not be asking my wife out on a date." Soshiro warned, his voice low and rough as he took his place beside you.

The man looked from him to you, then back to him, and he quickly shook his head before scurrying off.

"That's what I thought." Soshiro grumbled, pulling you closer to him.

"Since when am I yours?" You teased, nudging him with your arm.

"Since when are you not?" He nuzzled up against your ear, nibbling on it slightly.

You rolled your eyes. "In bed, sure. Outside, not so sure."

His brows furrowed at your statement. "What do you mean?"

You waved him away, not wanting to have this discussion in public. "Nothing, nothing."

He grabbed your wrist tightly. "Baby. What do you mean you're not mine?"

He'd never called you baby before. He'd never called you any pet name before. Your heart thundered in your chest.

"I thought we... I thought we just...." You trailed off, unable to explain yourself in a way that made you sound less pathetic.

"Thought we what? We just fuck and mess around and don't care about each other?" He demanded, his eyes focused intensely on yours.

You swallowed but then nodded slowly.

He winced and bit his lip. "Fuck. I had a feeling, but I didn't realize it was this bad. I... I'll make myself more clear next time."

You coughed. "I'm sorry- what?"

"I... I don't want to just fuck around. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

You laughed at that. "Well you kinda already have to, we're legally stuck together."

He shook his head quickly. "I'm not stuck with you, I'm with you because I want to be. Because I... love you."

He got down on one knee and pressed a tender kiss to your hand. "I know I'm a little late, but will you marry me?"

You laughed again, but this time your heart felt lighter and your cheeks felt warmer. You held up your hand, flashing the ring that was already settled around your finger at him. "I already have, love. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat. In a million lifetimes. So yes, I will marry you."

Then he stands up and gives you the kiss you should've had at the altar. It's mind melting and dripping with sweetness and care. It's passionate but delicate, as if he doesn't want to break the moment. It's everything you've ever wanted.

He's everything you've ever wanted.

#kaiju no. 8 #soshiro hoshina #soshiro hoshina x reader #hoshina #anime #oneshot #hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #anime fanfic #han's library

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