#because to me it's mostly like yeah. I recognize this because it's the story I had in my head and I wrote it!

[merge-conflict]

18, 74, 26 for the fic writer asks! 🖤

Questions here

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I usually retitle a fic or chapter at least once. I used to sit and agonize over the coolest title and just could NOT move on until I've done it, but now I just relax because I know I can update it. Generally what it's named in my Scrivener project is just some sort of placeholder or feeling. My usual vibe is "lyrics from a song which vibes" (yes. it is often the mountain goats... but not always! sometimes it's brown bird.) or "common phrase, but changed slightly" or "technical in-joke". Whatever I find most amusing.

Recently posted a fic called "done dying" which was originally titled "anthem for the already defeated" both of them from song titles (the first is actually "When I Was Done Dying"). I wrote all of the "the binds that tie" (playing with "the ties that bind") before settling on the title, but in my drafts it was always 'sudo chown -R vim:vim .' (now the chapter title). I like to have my cake and eat it too whenever possible. For stuff I can't come up with names for I've started titling them 'scrap: brief summary' or something I think is grandiose or funny so I can stop obsessing over it and start writing lol.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Gosh. I've been thinking about this lately, and I do think I have a distinctive style but it's hard to describe because it's just.. the way I write? I know I have a problem repeating adjectives like 'just' 'some' 'only' a lot, so that's one give away. My habit of just smash-cutting into the middle of a scene without much setup is probably another. My habit of using repetitive sentence construction to hammer in a point. My habit of writing too much damn banter.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Tbh the damn things overlap was created to be each damn thing overlapping the next, a huge mess, very little time to breathe (condensing the canon timeline down to about two weeks of Valentine going through main storyline stuff. ~a week of which is actually in the the fic!) I wanted to write a story where you feel relieved when characters get to sit down or take a nap, and I think I've succeeded thus far.

Honorable mention to when her edges soften, where Johnny and Valentine hit the town and each other. Straight from "I'm not gonna fuck you" to competitively tracking the number of orgasms they've both had in the past 3 hours while fucking in alleyways and cars. That might qualify as a sort of wild ride. :3

[ars0nism]

thinking about that one haytham character study/au i wrote where it, to this day, feels like i got possessed by the spirit of this fictional man while writing it

[tornioduva]

Dungeon meshi and body proportions

Ok, i'm feeling the rush i got from binging the manga this last week is starting to fade away, i'll be back to being a normal person soon i think. at least, that is before i find a new something for me to dive into uhuh.

Before that happens, i want to praise Ryoko Kui for one last think. The design of the characters!

For years i've expressed (maybe not so much online) my hate towards the "anime style", this homogenization of traits and beauty standards to an artificial degree, and the mass spread and consumption of it. yes, trends exist for a reason, this is not the first nor the last art current to be popular and i'm not the first detractor of one in history. I do think there is something uniquely harmful in this one though, and that is why i'm able to find the energy to be such a pretentious dipshit about it. That is a discussion for another day though.

All this to say that going through Dungeon Meshi and seiing these characters, plus (and in a way because of it) all the additional sketches of the daydream hour bonus sections, was such a breath of fresh air! (at least for what concerns japanese exported stories)

All i could say and praise in regard to character designs in general is perfectly expressed in this video, which i recommend you to watch if you want to hear my opinions (and the video author's too, uhuh):

I want to leave you though with at least one specific praise for me: Falin.

i've seen countless time people (online) just not understanding how people's body work, how much differences there can be and how proportions do distribute and affect the body. in anime I see a lot of short and tall people (mostly women girls) that share the same proportions despite their actual height, and that often leads to think "yeah, she is short" and than she's tall when around someone, or (most often) the contrary. same lenght of limbs, same head to body proportions, and little details like this.

Falin you can tell at a glance she is a tall woman before she's around anyone, even when she is standing near her brother who is taller than her.

Kui did her homework in studying bodies and variations, and, whether consciously or not, she differentiated her in body in subtle but fundamental ways: her head being slightly smaller than her body, the neck being fairly long, and her having somewhat broader shoulders.

I accept that there might be an element of suggestion at play here, considering also how she is dressed most of the time, but I really do think there is a direct effort at differentiation here.

This is the first time in a long time (in a series like this at least) where i've seen a woman carrying herself around others and the space around here kind of like a person like me, tall, would; at first i didn't think much of it, but then i saw her near other characters and....i don't know, i felt a warm, joyful feeling, seeing that i was right in recognizing that trait and being right.

I was especially happy in seeing her next to marcille. not so much for the height difference, but for how different they were in proportions and mannerism. A lesser manga i fear would have used marcille's body type and way of moving and interacting as the default for most other girls, but here she was uniquely herself!

Now, i could've used more extreme exemples to show how this author rocks in body types representations (while aknowledging there could've been even more diversification still), given there are far larger, taller and stranger women, but to me, nailing the little, most subtle details in such a chirurgical manner shows a greater level of mastery and comprehension. As such, Falin left me with a deeper fascination than most other characters.

Sorry for this wall of text, but i needed to let my happy thoughts go, so that i could be free again uhuh.

Feel free to tell me that i'm wrong, or that i should just accept anime media as is. i'm just really happy Dungeon meshi exists as is and i want Ryoko Kui to keep refining her craft, and drawing beautiful women and dwarves.

Plus, this was very much a stream of consciousness, i didn't go into technical details about what i think conveyed what i described, but if someone is interested, or does not get what i'm saying (while expressing it in a curious and gentle way, i won't respond to spiteful assholes), i'll be happy to make a follow up post in which i try to dissect this! For example, i didn't reread the whole manga to find examples of her, i just went to the wiki uhuh. in a follow up post maybe i'll try to go through chapters and pick more specific examples of her.

Anyway, have a good day!

[goldies-cryptobitch]

Warning people in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss fandom of the shameless art thief @horrorlover1 (funnily enough they tried changing their URL because they got called out, I assume they don't realize that old URL @'s still take people to your updated URL 🙄) - They've been reposting people's art with the excuse of "Oh, well, I don't know where they came from, I just find them on Google UwU Credit to the artist tho lol" and when told directly where somebody's art came from, their response was to delete the replies, block the person, restrict replies on ALL their posts, and btw, STILL did not actually credit the OG artist.

So, safe to say, it's abundantly clear that this human trashpile doesn't actually give a shit about the original artists of these works. I'll be tagging all the OG artists I can find and link to the stolen posts so that y'all can report this person (I will also @ some of the well-known fandom artists who might not've been hit yet so that they know to block this person and report them if they are able. Also, I don't have Twitter, so if somebody could let the Twitter-exclusive users know of this to also report this person, that would be dope. (Maybe post in the replies if you're going to do that though, so that people can see if it's already been done and the artists don't get spammed about it.))

This art belongs to @marukmpos (Twitter link)

This art belongs to @bluestripedrenulian (dA link)

This art belongs to rinna_hel

This art belongs to Tunyeta

This art belongs to @mellemoondraws (Twitter link)

This art and this art belongs to @gensubart (dA link)

This art belongs to thatboni and @notherpuppet (Twitter link)

This art belongs to TheOGFazFilms

This art belongs to Cessy_Janea

This art belongs to cocodar

This art belongs to Sooelliee and Alkar_tar_art (whose profile SPECIFICALLY says not to repost their art btw)

This art belongs to Thea Yildirim

This art belongs to @pleasantlypony (Twitter link)

This art belongs to Serped3ra

This art belongs to @frenchiefie / @frenchiefieart (Twitter link)

This art belongs to ArtyDemon

This art belongs to SuamyArt

This art belongs to @sadelionne (Twitter link)

And some Hazbin/Helluva artists I'm tagging mostly just warning to block this person so their art also doesn't get stolen/reposted: @kandavers @smilezandmics @greykolla-art @triona-tribblescore @alymccart @noramiamere @adyophene @diabloku @applepartysins @captainsaltypear @scruplepossum (Again, I'm not in the fandom, so I don't really know who all should be tagged and I don't want to make this post crazily long, but yeah, I guess if anybody else in the fandom knows of who might wanna be given a heads up, they'd know better than me lol)

I'm not in the HH/HB fandoms, I was just shootin' the shit with a friend yesterday (the one who initially commented about crediting artists on their posts) and they mentioned this situation to me, and since art thieves like this are massive fucking shitbags that just wanna get clout off of other people's work, figured I should at least credit some ACTUAL artists. Even as an outsider I know that stealing/reposting is a MASSIVE problem in that fandom, and the art fans have got to stop letting people get away with it. Don't like/reblog from assholes like this, support the ACTUAL artists, dude. Stop letting these leeches get away with stealing from legitimate content creators.

If anybody recognizes any of the other stolen art that I might not've found the OG artists for, please let them know so that they can also report their stolen artworks.

Moral of the story: It's not that fucking hard to find the original artists of things online. Don't be a shitty art thief like @horrorlover1 and at LEAST give PROPER credit if you're going to repost something. :/

Edit: Just editing to add that I find it kinda funny how they claim I made this post to try and boost myself when I said multiple times that I'm not even in the Hazbin/Helluva fandom, lmfao. Like, who tf you think I'm boosting myself to??? I don't even make content for this fandom. Also they changed their url to @thecatgirl-luvmyrocky but the original @ link still works, too.

Editing to add their apology, but I am still keeping the post up so that people can decide for themselves if they want to block or not.

Stop reposting things with no credit, and if any artists reach out to you about taking down their posts or anything like that, then listen to them. Artists deserve respect, they deserved to be RECOGNIZED for their hard work, and not giving credit is a HUGE slap in the face to them. Do better.

[toska-writes]

Hello Toska!

I really enjoy reading your stories, they are really good! I see so many fanfics that swear, or have nasty stuff, but yours are good. I was wondering if you do requests? If so, could you do one with the Bad Batch (mostly Hunter and Crosshair) where the reader is a female Jedi? And the reader goes on a mission and risks their life to protect one of the Bad Batch but they get injured? Take as much time as you need, thank you for your time! :)

Yeah this may be from a few months ago…. But here we are

“Concussion Protocol”

Summary: concussions are risky business, and a certain “unconcerned” sniper makes sure everything this ok

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader (Platonic)

Warning: small mention of blood, throwing up I guess, nothing crazy

Word count: 1313 (I meant for this one to be a short blurb but whatever

Notes: I changed up the request a bit but it was just a small thing I wanted to write

The ringing was so loud. Though maybe it was so loud because everything else is so quiet. Or maybe you couldn’t hear anything else at all.

The only thing you did know is that if you kept thinking about this it would make your head hurt more than it already was.

And that was saying something. Your head felt like it weighed an extra 50 pounds as you were hunched over trying desperately to catch any breath and keep your head from hitting the floor.

Ringing, that’s all it was. For a moment you could hear your own thought and could have sworn something touched your shoulder.

You couldn’t tell, it didn’t matter at this point because in all honesty you couldn’t even tell where you are.

No no the something definitely touched your shoulder because it was a lot firmer this time. Your whole body shook with whatever was on your shoulder and if it wasn’t for something else grasping your other arm you definitely would have fallen over.

You looked over slightly, more even breaths rolled through you now, and finally something came into focus. A hand…. Oh that’s what was holding you up right now.

The shaky image of helmet comes into your view with a hand now place under your chin slightly lifting it up.

The way the helmet was moving you assumed the person hold be talking to you, it was either that or the world was spinning around you.

They looked familiar, whoever they were, but if you tried to think anymore you were pretty sure your head would pop right off. What did even happen? It was blurry looking back now.

Crosshair watched them for a moment, their eyes lost in thought finally trained back onto him but only for a moment before they drooped again.

He felt the growing weight of your face in his palm before you slumped over even more

“Okayyyy” He muttered more to himself since the calls of your name moments ago fell on deaf ears. The first thing Crosshair had to do was get you off of the battle field.

He was just lucky he saw you in time, the amount of now broken battle droids scattered around your unaware mind scared him. Scared him more than he would like to admit.

“I found them, I just need someone to cover me.” Crosshair spoke cooly into the comm, the panic rising in him however contradicted him.

A confirm from someone on the other side didn’t really matter to Crosshair at this moment, it mattered getting you to open your eyes again.

Finally the ringing died down, enough to recognize there was a voice coming from somewhere extremely close to you. It took a moment more to realize it was your name someone spoke.

The fight to open your eyes was hard. The dying light still hurt your eyes as they tried to adjust again.

“Hmmm?” Was all you could get out before you felt a thumb trace over part of your forehead.

It worried Crosshair of where this blood was coming from, he tried to keep in away from your mouth and eyes with his thumb for a moment.

The sound of blaster fire sounded closer to his head than he would have liked.

“Come on Crosshair go!” He heard hunter practically yell in his ear. Right he could worry about wiping your face later.

You felt yourself move off the ground slightly. Looking around you were about to protest to the person that you still couldn’t identify in your state, but the swirling world did not pair well with your head. This resulted in you quickly shoving your head towards the armored chest that held you.

A groan must have escaped your lips but a husked voice reassured you quickly. Wait no you definitely knew that voice, but for the love of maker a face nor name could make it to your brain.

A feeling did however, and it was warm in your chest- you had nothing to worry about if he was here.

“Where are we going?” You finally managed to slur some words together without moving your head too much.

“Towards the Marauder.” He spoke clearly to you, no more ringing seemed to disrupt your hearing. “Can you tell me what that is?”

The question struck you as odd for a moment. Of course you knew what the Marauder was….right? That didn’t stop you from thinking for a moment before you responded with “… a ship?”

“I’m actually impressed” was all that came from whoever held you as he started to slow down more. You couldn’t tell with your eyes closed when your surroundings changed but a quick tap to your check and you opened your eyes to the inside of a ship.

“Is this…” you started, a limp hand gestured around before returning with a thump to your lap. “ the Marauder.

The figure now crouched in front of you with on hand keeping you sitting straight up nodded once before reaching with his other hand a removing his helmet.

“Can you remember anything else?” He spoke softly and slowly to you, but you didn’t answer.

The man had a tattoo over his eye, one that caught your attention immediately.

You knew who that was. A smile broke across your lips and a small laugh forced its way through your mouth. A shaky hand of yours reached out to the side of his face with the tattoo. He let it happen and watched your face hoping for any recognition.

“Crosshair.” Finally something you remembered

The man, now you were sure was Crosshair, nodded ever so slightly again but the smirk was prominent in his features.

“I’m going to clean your head ok?” He rasped.

The smile couldn’t be swiped from your face either as you continued to smile at him. “Crosshair.” You spoke again. Just like the first time it wasn’t a question, you were sure.

He hummed as a response before pushing you back slightly and dampening a rag as he still was crouched on the floor.

“I’m tired.” It was the first and only thing you were thinking about or could think about. The pounding in your head and the swirling of the world was becoming too much.

“You just have to wait a few seconds for me ok?” The cool ragged touch your face and surprisingly didn’t burn. “I just have to make sure nothing too serious is going on up there.” He poked the middle of your forehead with his finger.

Crosshair deemed his work satisfactory enough when he could finally locate one of the many cut along your forehead. Grimacing at it he decided that it would definitely need stitches.

But you didn’t have to know that right now. “All done.” His nimble hands returned to your shoulders pulling you up. Your eyes once again opened, though you couldn’t fall asleep since Crosshair did anything in his power for you to keep talking to him.

“Is it nap time?” He almost couldn’t make out your words for a moment before he took your face in and sigh.

“Don’t tell Tech, but yeah I think you deserve a nap time.” Crosshair still planned to scan for more injury’s but could letting you sleep change a lot?

Before he knew it your body leaned forward and quickly crashed into his own, your head found its stop between his shoulder plate and his neck perfectly.

The words were soft now muffled into his skin but he could nearly make out “Thanks Crosshair.” The voice faded out towards the end but that what brought the smile back to his face.

Thought he was sure they would never hear it again small “ Of course ad’ika” was muttered into the air before he scooped the padawan up into his arms once again to move them someplace more comfortable.

————————————————————

If you want to be added to the Taglist let me know!

@arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97 @pb-jellybeans @floffytofu @verybadatwriting @solstraalaa @ray-rook @gregorsmissingarmor

[brisquad-unit-4402]

Hello it’s me again! It’s been a while, I hope you’ve been doing okay. I recently have been reading through a lot of angst to comfort and I have an idea for a request!

May I request an Ike fic where reader is a liver in NIJISANJI and has a crush on Ike but knows they have no chance with him. Then one day reader accidentally spills their feelings to Ike and Ike comforts them after hearing about readers feelings?

I hope you’re not tired of me requesting Ike fics (ily him to much) and I hope you have a good day/night! <3

-🖋️

stars above your skin

oh 🖋 we're really in it now

how long have i had this request in my inbox? early march? and now exactly one day after blue light dropped, i give you a ~19.5k word ike fic. much love and effort has gone into this one, only seconded by the massive amounts of brainrot.

so yeah, i'm not tired of ike requests. i'm literally a quilldren that writes fanfic. this is the opposite of a problem

in fact this might be one of my favorite things i've written... the second half is such a good bedtime story for me...!

this is going to get NASTY to read on tumblr—as in my site is lagging so hard just typing these a/n notes. so i'm going to remind you all that not only is liking/reblogging recommended to keep track of this fic, but also that i have an ao3 account (same name as url but without dashsince it's much more accessible than tumblr for long fic. i recommend reading on tumblr if you can because of some formatting but to each their own!

here’s a funny story about this fic. i was working on it while a bunch of people sat behind me, you see, and one of my greatest irrational fears is that people sitting behind me will be able to see my laptop screen and laugh at what i’m writing…! and with these requests i usually title them the fandom name and my name, and a short phrase about the request, and this one was “workplace romance”, and i just got so afraid right then and there i changed it to the first thing i could think of, based off a clip i saw of pomu, selen, aia and doppio…!! and that’s why the wip doc is titled “nijisanji 4402 - pliskin”, and why i will always refer to this fic as "pliskin" much more than the actual title

by the way here’s a cover of iris that was pretty fitting for this fic. you’ll know when to play it. enjoy

tags: hurt/comfort, reader is a niji vtuber, gender neutral reader, off-collab, mutual pining, misunderstandings, fluff, angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, cuddling, everyone in niji is your wingman, implied uki/ren if you squint but it’s mostly because uki will flirt with 80% of the men in this company

cameos: aia amare, alban knox, mika melatika, nina kosaka, ren zotto, uki violeta, vox akuma, fulgur ovid (mentioned)

⚠️ drinking/alcohol (unspecified if reader drinks alcohol)

⚠️ horror/gore mentions (non-detailed), out of context outlast spoilers i guess?

author's commentary here (spoilers) ↣

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There are dozens of these videos on YouTube, and never have you come across the same one twice. You would know. You have a bad habit of clicking on them. 

After all, they’re labeled with your name on them, and right next to it, Ike Eveland. You are smart enough to recognize it’s not worth your time and just another compilation of the same moments and fans trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but your heart says otherwise. To be fair, the compilations were a much more recent development than the one you hid under lock and key. 

When you first joined Nijisanji, some of your senpais sent you messages full of greetings and offers to help you get on your feet as a streamer. Ike was one of those senpais, and whenever you popped into voice calls just to hang out, he was easy to talk to, like an old friend. Naturally, a fast friendship formed, and when you debuted, he was one of the first people you collabed with- and the one with the best reception. Your new fans (‘Bookworms,’ they called themselves, after your name Reader) loved how well your humor bounced off each other, and when weeks passed and you announced another collab on your schedule with Ike, your Bookworms rejoiced. 

Even when you weren’t working, you would still talk to him. He told you about his homeland in the past and his novels, both released and unpublished. He was a storyteller even when he was talking about something as minute as making a sandwich, and whenever you brought up your past and interests, he was an excellent listener. You had your differences, but he always knew what questions to ask so he could understand you better, and you loved the opportunity to ramble. 

It had been nearly three months since you debuted, and four if you count the day you were officially hired and began to build yourself as a streamer. Whenever you look at the endlessly long text history between you and Ike, you have to wonder: is it normal to feel so connected to someone you’ve only known for three-maybe-four months? 

You’re not an idiot. You aren’t about to say Ike is the most important thing in the world to you, but he gets pretty damn close. That terrifies you. You shouldn’t be so attached to someone you barely know. 

But then again, you trust Ike. He’s opened up to you about things he would never say to others, and he keeps your secrets buried in the grave. You’ve lost count of how much advice he’s given you, but you’ve never forgotten a single one, and whenever you feel lost about something you know you can count on him to help you out. 

You grimace, sip out of your drinking glass, and press ‘play’ on the next compilation. 

A cute intro plays with the clipper’s name. Above it are the words Pen and Paper, surrounded by puffy pink hearts. 

That was the duo name between you and Ike, but "ship name" was more accurate among fanwork.

You weren’t exactly unaware about it. Weeks ago, you were surfing Twitter and the site’s algorithm granted you your introduction into Pen and Paper. This was shortly after your first collab with Ike, and after you established your shipping rules with your audience (“I’m fine with anything, as long as the other liver is okay with it!”, you proclaimed, totally oblivious to how soon that would blow up in your face). The fanartist posted a messy black-and-white sketch, but you could make out the pattern of Ike’s scarf wrapped around you and him at the same time, forcing your bodies into close proximity with averted eyes and dusty blushes. 

You appreciated the fanartist’s passion and skill, but the thought of you and Ike as an item sunk in your chest like you swallowed a rock. You swiped past. You went back to your scrolling, found some good thumbnails, and retweeted some cute solo fanart, but before the week ended, you made a private account with a fake name and staked out the tags for Pen and Paper to follow that fanartist.

Damn fanartist. You tried to deny it, and told yourself that you followed their art because you liked the style. But their account was full of ship art, and when Twitter gave you similar users that all worked under the hashtag, you had to face facts. If you wanted to look at it optimistically, at least you figured it out early on before anything had the chance to sour while you were still blissfully ignorant of yourself; even then, that doesn’t make it any harder than it already is.

Besides all the texts, the meetings, the schedules and events, and then including the streams and collabs and the art and the fandom… 

“Why?” You ask out loud in the silence of your room. “Why did I have to fall for my coworker?”

And with audiences of over hundreds of people watching you fall for him, nonetheless!

It’s irritating. You have a job that keeps you motivated to work hard. It’s given you a dedicated fanbase, rare opportunities, and coworkers you all recognize as your friends. Really, finding someone to care for because of it should be a blessing, but it’s such a headache. What if your fanbases get jealous, or even worse, outright hate it? Would you be able to keep up a relationship when you and Ike are dedicated to your careers and streams? Why are you even thinking like this? You scold yourself. There’s no way this would ever work out. It’s all fantasy and smoke and mirrors, because fandoms love love. Shipping is never a reflection of the streamers, just the characters you play. You’re delusional if you think your stupid crush could actually go anywhere.

But fandoms love love. The only comfort you have is being able to pretend something could happen. The ship art is a lie, and so are the fanfics, and the clippers that tag their videos as Pen and Paper are just here for a possibility that never could happen.

The compilation is full of little hints and teases, and if you were being honest with yourself, most of it was more like two friends getting along than actual flirting. But you didn’t trust yourself to see your clumsiness for what it is when Ike’s little laughs are like music to your ears. 

Damage control, you tell yourself. It’s like studying how you play your favorite games. You can pinpoint where you stumble and leave yourself open for attack in Apex, Smash, even Crab Game, and then amend those mistakes the next time you pick up the game. Real life should be no different. Just stop acting so dorky all the time by finding moments of dork in your VODs and avoid them next time you talk to Ike.

This clip was from your second collab with Ike. Captions floated along the bottom of the screen. Ike's captions were in his signature blue.

IKE: You know, there’s a lot of content about us two as a duo.

READER: They call us Pen and Paper, right?

IKE: Yeah, my art tag is flooded with art of the both of us. 

READER: Oh my God, look at the chat. Mine’s full of people saying they love us together. 

IKE: Aww, thanks, Quilldren! I’m happy I can play with Reader too. 

READER: Thank you, Bookworms; thank you, Quilldren. Hey, there’s a lot more overlap than I expected.

IKE: They’re like Bookdren.

READER: Or Quillworms.

IKE: Quillworms, that sounds way better. They’re like our children.

READER: www

IKE: www

Never fucking mind about acting so dorky all the time. You kick yourself for bringing up Pen and Paper, and your giggly laugh. You hate it. A neon sign above your head that says “SIMP” would be less obvious than that stupid schoolkid laugh.

But Ike’s laughter is music, back in the moment and now as you revisit it, and his model’s eyes squint with a wide smile.

He really is an amazing man. If you didn’t know him as well as you do, you’d think he’s perfect. But you’ve seen him in moments of vulnerability, the parts of himself that never shows through on stream and even rarer among his friends. Through it all he manages to keep going, and you admire him so much for sticking to his guns even when he’s expressed all his doubts about himself. The fact that he trusts you enough to let his guard down only adds to how honored you are to know him, and at the same time, the fact that there’s so much trust between you two just makes you feel worse for having a crush on him. You hate keeping secrets like this when you let Ike read you like an open book for everything else, and even just wishing you were something more to him feels like a betrayal of all that trust. You wish you could just be satisfied to know him.

The compilation continues. The next clip is a totsu Fall Guys collab hosted by Fulgur Ovid that you and Ike joined in on. Fuuchan got eliminated early in the match, and spectated on you while the other livers ran around Roll On with players tugging them this way and that. 

You moved around the rotating levels at the perfect sweet spot between two rings, and balanced at the top of the roll as the slime level slowly rose.

A longer wall approached, so you shuffled from one level to another, but another player grabbed your bean avatar and dragged you along to the wall even as you yelled out in panic on Discord. You smashed your keys to struggle, but they had an advantage, and it was clear the wall would push you down to the slime for an impending elimination.

That is, until a familiar Miku bean grabbed the other side of your avatar, and pulled the other way towards the ring that would save your life. Resigned, your attacker backed off and barely dodged out of the way while Ike’s Miku bean brought you back to safety.

The other two livers in the game were too noisy to notice you. Fuuchan was commentating every move you made, and when Ike saved you, he said, “Ike coming in clutch, let’s fucking go.”

Your recorded self didn’t hear him at all, though. You swooned, “Ike, my hero!”

Meanwhile in the present, you wanted to puke. You meant for that to sound like an over-the-top joke, but you crush is getting so serious that it sounds less like a bit and more like how you gush about him in private. 

At least Fuuchan’s audio was louder than everyone else, since he was the host, and the other two livers were preoccupied with their own game to notice your lovey-dovey tone and how Ike laughed music at you. It was bad enough clippers transcribed your words in captions, but you weren’t sure how you would handle it if those three picked up on you and your dumb crush. The less that know about your workplace romance, the better.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“Reader,” Aia coos. Even with audio only, you could tell her eyes were sparkling. “You didn’t tell me you had a workplace romance!”

Well, so much for that plan. You froze over. “Who told you that?”

Mika answers way too quickly. “It’s Alban’s fault.”

“Fuck off, Mika, you brought it up first!”

“You said it though!”

Man, you were already starting to regret joining VC today. You finished your offline work a lot faster than expected, so when you realized that three of your close friends in the company were all online in VC together while Alban privately streamed a rhythm game, you figured you would join the call while you prepared dinner. 

But if that was your greeting, you needed to mentally prepare for the wild interrogation you were about to experience. At least Aia, despite her love for drama, knew how to navigate these sorts of things delicately. And you don’t mean to call Mika and Alban bad friends—they were the exact opposite, in fact—but they were much nosier than Aia ever came across.

“Okay, but Reader just asked who leaked it, and didn’t deny it,” Aia says. “So that means it must be true!”

Scratch that. Aia is the worst out of all of them.

“I hate you guys. No hello or anything, just gossip about my love life,” you lament.

She gasps, and if her eyes were sparkling before, then roses bloomed around her as she spoke. “It’s love?”

Mika shrieks like a banshee. “Oh hell no, you’re in love and you didn’t tell us?!”

“It’s not love. It’s nothing!”

“Nah-uh, Reader, no running away from it, we know,” Alban says. “Better to just get it all out in the open than pretend like nothing’s up.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to snoop.”

“I’m being serious. Keeping stuff bottled up deteriorates you, especially when love’s involved.” He missed a note. “Shit. And yeah, okay, I want some gossip, but I have a point and you know it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, I blew a full combo just to say that!”

“Can I add? In case you forgot, Reader, we’re all in the same company,” Mika says. “Sure, I might be in a different branch, but who knows? Maybe we can help.”

“And fuck you too.” You sigh in defeat. As vitriolic as your shared humor was, these three were still some of your best friends, and you know they don’t mean any harm. “Ugh, I hate this. This is confidential information. Like, CIA levels of confidential. If I tell you guys, you can’t tell a single soul about it. Understand?”

The three all chime in agreement. And unfortunately, you trust them. You take advantage of your coworkers swearing themselves to secrecy to hype yourself up and just rip off the band-aid. “It’s Ike.”

“We know.”

“What the hell do you mean, you know?!”

“It’s obvious,” Aia says. Your heart hammers in your chest. Then she sputters for a moment, like she realized she might’ve hit a soft spot. “Well, you have to focus on it to see it, but once you see it, it’s hard to ignore. You two go well together.”

Alban pitches in. “Agreed. I’m not even gonna be subtle about it, you and Ike have great chemistry. I’m happy for you two.”

“Okay, I guess.” Your eyes drift away from your prepared ingredients to the corner of your kitchen. “But I don’t know. Are you sure? Because I feel like I always act like an idiot whenever I’m around him. And I doubt he’d ever feel the same way.”

“Wait.” Aia pauses. “You’re… not dating?”

“No. Just a crush. Not love, not dating, nothing. And it’s never going to be anything more than that because it’s just a big stupid crush on my coworker, who doesn’t even live close enough to visit, and this is all a recipe for disaster.”

She doesn’t say anything about that. Actually, none of them do. Even Alban pressed pause on his game, and the Discord stream went motionless as your words sunk in. 

Mika is the one to break the silence. “You’re shitting me.”

“That’s the truth. Happy?”

“No, like, you’re shitting me, there’s no way.”

“Mikaaa.” Alban drags out her name as he scolds her. 

“Hey, I’m just saying, that’s crazy, especially since—“

“Don’t tell Reader that!”

“Tell me what?” 

“We thought you were already a thing. You know, dating, in a relationship, whatever,” Mika clarifies. It hits you like a punch to the gut. “Or at least that you had something going on, and kept it secret so it wouldn’t be awkward for everyone else to work with you two. Which, by the way, we’re all chill with, so if, hypothetically, you decided to hypothetically go for it, we would hypothetically cheer you on and set off hypothetical fireworks. I’d rent a food truck.”

Alban resumes his game. “Yeah, what she said. Go get that hypothetical novelist bussy.”

“Don’t hypothetically talk about my brother like that.”

“You’re sure this is okay?” You ask. “Mika, I know you and Ike are close. This isn’t going to make anything weird, is it?”

“You’re fine, Reader. If I had problems, I would’ve cornered you and threatened you over text ages ago when I figured it out.”

“That’s another thing. How did you guys know?”

Aia pipes up first. “I know I said it was obvious, but I think that’s just because we know each other since we’re good friends. You two just go together, you know? It’s hard to explain, but whenever Reader and Ike-senpai are in the same room you think, ‘those two would be cute,’ and then you realize they are cute, right there in the moment. And you talk a lot faster on stream whenever you’re both on the same page. Almost as fast as me.”

 “Plus, it’s really common to see both of you on VC at the same time, and you’re always happy whenever he shows up,” Mika affirms. “Alban says whenever one of you enters the call the other is soon to follow.” 

“It’s true. You talk fast whenever you talk to him on VC too, not just stream. And your laugh kind of changes?”

“Dammit, I knew my laugh was my tell. This sucks. This seriously sucks.”

“It might not be all that bad,” Mika says. “Who knows, maybe things might end up better than you expect. You should tell him.”

“No way,” you fire back. “There no way he’d actually reciprocate. And I know you guys are fine with me asking, but Ike himself is just going to reject me, and it’s going to be awkward, and literally everyone in the company who has ever talked to us will be able to tell something’s up.”

“They won’t be weird,” Aia insists. “We won’t, either, and Ike-senpai is a good guy. Even if it doesn’t work out, he wouldn’t leave you out to dry like that.”

“You don’t know. None of you have ever been in this situation.”

“That’s true, but there’s always a chance.”

“If you ask me, it sounds more like you’re afraid of what you think would happen instead of what rationally would,” Alban says. He’s still laser-focused on his game. “I dunno. If you’re really set on getting over it, then go ahead and ignore it, but that’s just going to eat at you for who knows how long before your crush starts to fade.”

“Well, I didn’t ask.”

“Fine. Forget I said anything.”

You regret the acidic tone in your voice the second you said it, but Alban was off in his own world of music. He’d tell you if he had a problem with how you spoke to him, but you still feel gross about your knee-jerk reaction. 

You’re just… defensive. Yep, that’s the word. Whenever you’re this interested in someone, you put your walls up and protect yourself from letting anyone worm through and hit a weak point. 

Aia hums like an analyst. “Just keep it in mind, Reader. Not everything is out to get you.”

You know your friends just wanted the best for you, but things just aren’t as simple as they’d like to imagine it. It’s none of their business, anyways. It was pure coincidence that they figured out your thoughts on Ike, and that means none of them have any real authority to advise you on your love life.

“I think we’re done talking about this,” you assert.

“Well, you heard ‘em. Pack it up, show’s over.” Mika changed the subject. “Hey, did you guys know if you try to break open a freshly boiled egg, it explodes?”

Alban slams his hands on his keyboard so loudly that you hear the switches over his noise suppression. The stream goes from a string of Awesome! notes to nothing but misses as he abandons the game. “YES. Yes, actually, I DO know.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“MEAT! WANTS MEAT! WANTS MEAT! MEAT!”

“AAAAAAAAHHHH!”

The stream is to the birds. Fuck that noise. Godspeed to the Bookworms, they’ll need it, but not nearly as much as you. 

When you were settling on a schedule, the last undecided spot for the week was Friday’s stream. That simply wouldn’t do. Friday nights kick off the weekend, and the break from school and work is prime time for a wide audience, so pretty much everyone in Nijisanji reserves their juiciest streams for the weekend. You’re no exception.

…Except for the fact that you didn’t have a clue about what to do for Friday’s stream. One Twitter poll and conveniently timed Steam sale later, you published your schedule with a game your fans voted on: Outlast.

You walked in knowing it would be a horror game, and you figured it would be fine. After all, you’ve played games from Chilla’s Art before, and a few quirky indie psychological releases here and there. You wouldn’t call yourself a stone-faced horror lover that can keep a straight face at anything, but aside from a few creepy moments in those game, you’ve kept your cool relatively well. 

Outlast threw all that out the window. You realized almost immediately that you had no idea how to handle the primal fear of the chase. 

Footsteps pound against a metal floor. You plead for help in the emptiness of your home as you smash the controls, as if that would make your character move the cabinet over the door any faster. Screams resonate in tune between you and the chained man in the room with you, and all the while, the howling of your pursuer grows louder and louder as he gets closer.

You finally uncover the door and dash through. Tremors run though all your thoughts while your heart beats overtime. 

You still haven’t gotten used to all the jumpscares, even though you’re at the edge of your seat and ready to start running yourself. A fork in the road approaches, and when you start off one direction, you’re greeted by a bloodied man in the distance. “AAAHH!”

Faster than light, you slam the key to the other hall and book it. You spot a new storage container to shove in front of the door just in time for text to appear on the screen: Look for pushable objects to block doors.

“No shit, why wouldn’t you tell me that before, oh my God, aaaaah!” The screams—from both the voice actors and your own cries—grate against your eardrums while chase music thunders in-between the gasps for air. 

As you grab the container and start to push, you mash the pause button. When the menu appears, you lean back in your chair and run your hands over your face. Your model pouts cutely while the real you whimpers. The mic barely picks it up.

You take a breath before groaning in fear and pain. “Guys. I don’t think I can do this…” Another groan as you trail off. “This game is so much. Give me a second.”

As you raise yourself back from your chair, it’s with a slump forward. Your chat is full of headpat emotes and hearts in your color, along with some quick words of courage. A few are recommending you take a break. “Thanks, Bookworms. I’m so afraid, but I’m committed and I don’t want to just leave it here.”

Your eyes flutter closed as you take a sip of water to clear your head. The cold drink startles you out of the dingy asylum atmosphere, but the screaming still lingers between your ears. “You know what? Who else is online right now? Maybe I need someone in VC to hold me to this.”

The emojis in chat slowly patter out as your viewers go back to text. Looks like most of your Bookworms like the idea of calling someone else while you stream the game. Some of their messages catch your eye. 

gatamiizuus: you can call ike :ReaderHeadpat: 

messXed-up!: ike!!

lunasmortas: what about ike?

A few more chats mention Ike, and while usually you’d be irritated they mentioned another liver out of the blue, your shoulders still relax at the sight of his name. “Wait, Ike? Is Ike here?”

You scroll back in the chat history, and search for any mod messages. Sure enough, barely a minute ago while you were still being chased:

Ike Eveland 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : GANBARE!

You cling onto that message like a lifeline. Ike is familiar. Ike is comforting. And most importantly, Ike would never call you a pussy.

Chat floods over with his name while you check the official Nijisanji Discord server. Almost everyone in Nijisanji sets their status to offline by default, and Ike is one of them, but you still scan through the member list anyways, praying a little green indicator will light up by his icon.

His status doesn’t change, but before you can even click on his profile, your Direct Messages tab gains a notification. He just messaged you.

Ike Eveland: Watching your stream right now

Ike Eveland: Are you okay?

You exhale. Ike is the most dependable guy you know, even when it’s pure coincidence he was watching your stream while you freaked out. 

With your heart still in your throat, you respond.

Me: uuuuuuugh i guess

Me: the game is really scary

Me: i don’t want to cancel the stream but i don’t think i can play it by myself 😭

Ike Eveland: 🫂    | 🫂 1 |

Ike Eveland: Would you feel better if I called you?

Me: i was just about to ask    | 👌 1 |

Me: you don’t have to if you don’t want to tho!! i don’t want to be a nuisance lol

Ike Eveland: Don’t worry I offered to!

Ike Eveland started a voice call.

“Ikeee!” The second the call starts, all your restraint goes forgotten. “Ike, I was so scared!”

You babble on about everything you’ve endured up to this point: the gore, the grime, and the patients in the asylum that hunt you like animals. 

 “I’m here, it’s alright now,” he assures you. “I’m here, okay? Take your time, you’re safe.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m relieved. But it was so scary.” You sink and bury yourself in the collar of your shirt. “You’ve streamed this before, and kept a cool head the entire time, right? How do you do it?”

“Well, it wasn’t my first time playing, for starters. Everyone gets freaked out at first. It’s a horror game, Reader, it’s okay to react to it. I remember the first time I played it, it scared me so bad I had to quit after half an hour.” He giggles a bit at himself. The sound is comforting. “That was a few years ago. I think I had nightmares about it, until I realized I needed to know the rest of the story. ”

Your voice is small. “That was really brave of you.”

“I avoided it for days. I doubt that’s brave.”

“It’s braver than calling someone just to get the guts to play the game.”

“Hey, don’t put my friend Reader down just to bring me up.” He keeps his tone light to let you know you’re allowed to smile. “Being able to face your fears is plenty on its own, and you shouldn’t be devaluing that. How long have you been at it?”

“A little over two hours?” You glance at the stream monitor, and ignore the chat as much as you can. You still register the hearts in your color and his signature blue. “I don’t know. I did a lot of pausing, too, so it’s probably less than that…”

“But you were still able to stream for that long. Remember, I could only play for thirty minutes during my first time! You’re stronger than you think you are.”

You avert your eyes from your stream setup. You feel painfully seen, but the chat is nothing to you. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“Then I’ll be here to remind you. Is that okay?”

“I’d like that.” You return to the screen, and in the darkness of the blurred labyrinth, you see your reflection stare back. Your hair is disheveled from how you kept thrashing around in reaction to the game and your shoulders are high with tension, but only now did you realize how the corners of your lips rose after the call started. Ike really got to you. “Thank you, Ike, you’re so considerate. I appreciate you a lot. You’re a really good guy.”

He chuckles slowly, soft like a blanket. Your shoulders ease. Ike’s words are just as soft, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s nervous too. “Haha, um. Yeah. Thank you?” He doesn’t take compliments well, but they’re true, and you hope he knows it as well as you do. He clears his throat. “Ahem. Um, how are you feeling?”

“Not great, but better. I want to try again.”

“You’ve got this, Reader, you can do it.” Ike is still quiet, but enthusiastic. “You can do it!”

You go shaky. “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.”

But you still press Return To Game.

And when you scream barely five seconds later, Ike is still calm, and you hone in on his voice as you persevere.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Just as you go to bed, you realize that you basically just made a fool of yourself in front of your crush by getting scared at a game he’s already conquered. 

You slam a pillow over your face and groan.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Ike lands an all-out attack just in time to check the chat and the swarm of viewers that just joined. “Oh, Reader! Thank you for the raid, it’s good to see you! Welcome, everybody.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : take care of my bookworms for me? i’m getting milk

“Of course. They’re our Quillworms, after all.” You go fuzzy. He remembered the fan name! “Have a good break, Reader! Rest well.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 👍

It was the end of the week, and the stream you just finished was the last on your schedule. You announced a few days ago that you would take a break for a little more than two weeks so you could catch up on offline work as well as rest, and the Bookworms sent you off with a lot of love. It’ll be hard for some of your diehard fans, but you’re sure they’ll manage. You have a feeling it’ll be easier than they expect. 

“Speaking of breaks, I haven’t finished my schedule yet. I think I’ll wait a day or two to post it.” The stream cracks in red and black as Ike’s party in Persona 5 Royal clobbers the enemy Shadows. Monsters bleed out behind the protagonist’s cocky smirk. “I’ll be offline for the next two days, so I’ll have some time to think about it.”

Ike mashes through the battle results, and sets back off into exploring the palace. His stream fades into background noise as you get back to the task at hand. 

You sent a few messages to some of your other coworkers regarding your break. Next was finishing some paperwork for management, and reaching out to others that needed access to the files. Sure, your time off was for offline work, but the work you had to get done would only take an afternoon at most. You wanted to meet even the far-off deadlines as soon as possible so you could be properly free for the rest of your vacation.

By the time you finished your paperwork, your coworkers were able to respond to you. A group chat full of other livers had a new response every minute about the next two weeks, and Aia sent you a QR code that would let you save some time and money on your flight. 

Ike ended yet another super-long P5R stream just a few minutes after you grabbed all your luggage, got to the airport, and made it to your terminal. You had some time to kill, but you were sick of the headphones over your ears.

Not to mention, you were waiting for the fans to catch up on the real reason why you were on break.

Curiously, you log into your private Twitter—you don’t plan to interact with anything but you’re always paranoid about your online presence—and start searching for the code words fans think Vtubers have no idea about. Symbols replace letters and names morph into sounds while emojis speak volumes.  

The Stargazers don’t mention it at all. That’s to be expected, after all. Their oshi goes on break often, so nothing seems too out of the ordinary. Besides, you wouldn’t put it past them to have even more intricate subtweets than what you’re looking for.

Only a few of Nina’s Honeybunnies put the pieces together at first, but then you check Quilldren subtweets. As it turns out, when Ike mentioned he’d be taking a few days off, a few of his fans noticed how Nina was going to be offline at the same time, and a smaller fraction of those compared how Mika had yet to release a schedule. 

Underneath your face mask, you smile. With the career being dependent on both anonymity and your voice, you wore a nondescript black mask through the entire airport in case someone recognized you, just as well as to hide the tiny giggle that always bubbles up whenever you watch your fans scramble around theorizing. They don’t have all the pieces, after all. None of the Aiadmirers nor the Renvaders even considered it.

They’ll figure it out in time nonetheless. Uki and Nina are close to landing, and Aia was the first to disembark her plane. The rest of your friends are set to arrive after you, and besides, Vox should be ending his last stream of the week right now. You’re sure the Kindred will start plotting in the next hour, provided their oshi didn’t give them too big of a hint about his plans for the next week as he’s known to do.

You board your plane and settle into your seat, ready to nap the flight away. You’ll need the rest, after all. It’s about time you join an off-collab.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Nina doesn’t even get the chance to look away from her phone before she gets a rush of replies on her first voice tweet.

She doesn’t bother to read them anyways. She’s too busy howling out the lyrics to “Wannabe.”

It’ll be hard to discern all the voices. Ike’s high range is always easy to pick out, but Vox blends in as a bass, and you can always hear Mika’s grin through her singing. Ren and Aia are the furthest from the phone, and as loud as they sing, they’re still drowned out along with you, Uki, and Nina herself.

Mika chooses the wrong time to look around the karaoke booth. While Aia sings passionately about what she wants (what she really, really wants), her body language crumples and rises like an electrocuted high school theater kid. The ghost has a hiccuping, sweeping laugh that overpowers half of the singers, and then Aia snorts at herself when Mika covers her mouth, which gets Vox to snort even louder, and before you know it, it’s just Uki and Nina doing their damndest not to break. Even then, Nina’s voice wavers along to the Spice Girls as she resists a laugh, and Uki’s eyes are squeezed shut smiling.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The bar stool slides out from the counter so quietly that you wonder if the Airbnb owner knew just how handy it would be for a house full of streamers on vacation. You lean forward while Mika tells a story about how she, Aia, Ren and you went out for a coffee run, and crossed paths with some teenagers with matching Iluna keychains on their backpacks. 

Speaking of Iluna, their represents sat together on the couch. Aia set her plate and fork on the coffee table, not a single pool of sauce left over from the pasta dinner Vox and Uki prepared together. Somehow Ren made enough room in his luggage to bring along a teal ukulele, and idly strums along. Uki sits between Ren and the armrest, swirling the last of his pasta between his fork.

Across from them, Vox and Nina took ownership of two plush chairs that could only fit one person each. Each chair was next to a corner table, and they stacked their plates on top of one another to make room for a jug of orange juice and two cocktail glasses. Ike took a bottle of rum and poured it into his soda, then slid it back to the corner table before pulling up the bar stool next to you. 

“It was like, one of them had a clear phone case and held it out to show the others a video,” Mika says. She perched on top of the counter itself, next to her travel microphone and the second-nastiest kitchen stream setup you’ve ever seen. She was no Scarle, but so many wires stretched across the island and along the way that it was just easier for her to climb onto the polished granite to keep an eye on the chat. “Smack-dab in the center was a PNG of Vox. And then a bunch of tinier Voxes around it. And here’s how you know it’s bad, you could see the color of the phone itself through the case because it’s clear, right? It was red. Red! That’s commitment!”

“I’m telling you, Mika, there’s no way they got a red phone just because of Vox,” Aia says. “That’s got to be a coincidence.”

Vox hums into his glass. “No, they absolutely did. You mean to tell me your fans don’t spoil you rotten and buy new phones just because they’re your color?”

“My color is white, Vox, like every phone ever is my color!”

“Still, I’ve never seen Aia go so quiet so fast.” Ren’s ukulele twangs as he grins. His fangs were just as prominent in real life. “It was awesome.”

“It was scary, but funny,” you say. “We saw the Vox case and the Iluna keychains, and all of us just went silent. And we all had masks, too, so it was like, one moment you could hear Ren’s fuckboy laugh, and the second we saw the case, we all put up our masks and went quieter than the grave.”

Ren palms the neck of the ukulele and mutes the chord in mock offense. “Hey! I’m not a fuckboy!”

“Didn’t say you were, but if you want to out yourself like that, be my guest. They’d chop off your horns and sell them like Kyo.”

“One of them had an Aster keychain.” Ren bitterly resumes playing. Uki sets his plate on the table and drapes himself over the alien’s shoulder as he opened up his phone to check the off-collab’s live tag. The stream was supposed to be a live Q&A, but was so easy to talk to everyone that the questions often turned into conversation before someone remembered the stream. “If Aia or I said anything, we’d be fucked.”

“Imagine how fucked we would’ve been if Vox woke up in time to go with us,” you say.

Ike snickers. “Is it bad that I would’ve paid money to see that?”

The two Luxiem members get into a playful argument over who would win in a fight: all the effort Nijisanji and its employees put into protecting their privacy, or one silly phone case. Ren’s riffing turns into a simple rendition of “Iris” and Nina hums along from across the living room. The ukulele is slow and unique enough to not be mistaken for the original, but you wonder if those two would be able to avoid copyright entirely.

Nonetheless, the vibe is comfortable. You’re miles away from home, but in a room with some of your closest friends in the world, it’s like you never left. Truthfully, it’s more like you’ve finally found your place. The music just feels right, like it was written for this moment, and Aia leans back into the couch while Nina sways in her seat to the jaunty little ukulele. Ren looks as cheery as his instrument sounds, especially with a peaceful Uki nuzzled up to him. 

While Ike and Vox go at it, Mika props her chin up with both hands and watches them like a reality TV show. There’s a glint in Vox’s eyes as Ike drums up a snide response, the only sane man to the demon’s goofiness. He brings his rum and coke to his lips like punctuation, a silent so, what? hidden in the boozy soda. 

Vox knows how to run his mouth, and he launches into one of his patented anecdotes. While all eyes are on the demon and the chat hones in on his voice, you focus on how Ike tilts his head up to drink. His neck stretches out from the collar of his black band tee, and with each sip, his Adam’s apple bobs. 

You’ve always thought he was good-looking on stream, but he’s gorgeous in person, all long lines and graceful features, and cameras can’t capture the tiny little freckles drizzled down the back of his neck. You didn’t even know he had freckles. It was only after you saw him for the first time that you noticed pale, reddish dots all over his nose and cheeks, fading out by his temples and the arch of his lips. Spending the day walking around in the sun from place to place revealed more whenever the wind flicked his jacket collar out right. They scatter at his nape, right below the blue tips of his hair, and meet one another further down his back, or so you’d presume. Without the jacket, you can catch marks spread out along his arms with distance between one another, and his shirt sleeve starts right where the freckles cluster together. You can only imagine how far down they go.

You avert your eyes. You can’t think about what’s under the shirt when you’re sitting right next to him, and certainly not while on stream, even if chat can’t see you check him out!

Unfortunately, the side opposite of Ike is the one with Ren and Uki. Those two are idyllic. Without a care in the world, it seems. You envy how easily Uki can act on what he wants, even if you know he doesn’t see Ren like how you see Ike. Ren doesn’t mind it at all, either. He literally lives by the rhythm of his own ukulele. 

Ike lowers his drink with his eyes closed, as if it would make the refreshing feeling last longer. His eyelashes are the same ashen color as his hair. Gold gleams between his ears and on the chain of his glasses.

Possessed by the music, and distracted by the rambling, you become one with the background and lean along Ike’s arm.

It’s an indulgent dip into the waters, but shallow compared to all you feel for him. Ever since you met Ike in person it’s been easier to control yourself around him, and if anything, you’re reminded that this is the man you’ve gotten the closest to in both career and friendship. The only barrier between your cheek and his body is his shirt sleeve, but your arm rests against his forearm, right where the freckles taper off. There’s no resistance at all as you make yourself comfortable in the crook of his arm. 

But you hold yourself back. Even though the off-collab made you feel gutsier than before, you think that you’d pass out if you tried anything else. Besides, you feel so at peace against his arm, but too afraid to look up and see his reaction. 

The blend of peace and fear churns in your heart as it dawns on you: you were wrong to call this a crush. It runs far deeper than you could’ve imagined.

Vox says something with finality. His voice snaps you out of your thoughts, but the words go unregistered. As he spoke, his eyes drifted around with his body language, but he snaps to look at Ike expectantly. You swear his smirk gets a little more mischievous as he does. 

The air stills, even though you know eyes aren’t on you, just the man you lean on. It stays frozen as Ike waits to respond. You still don’t have the heart to look up at him and break your selfish, unrequited fantasy.

You just want to stay here, unresisted.

Ike deadpans. “Anyways.”

Just like that, the moment is over, and Mika laughing at Vox striking out clears the air around you. But Vox’s eyes fall to you for just a split second as he moves in his seat. Frost settles down your back at the thought that he knows, but there’s a solid chance he hasn’t connected the dots. You pray he hasn’t.

Then you see Fox Mom herself right behind him, and she shoots you a shit-eating grin with a hand over her heart and a glass in the other. 

No doubt about it. You’re screwed. 

The frost turns to glaciers and burns into hot shame all at once. You love Nina, you really do, and you’d always consider her a good friend before coworker. However, she’s known for fishing around for any crumb of fanservice, and she gets straight to the point whenever she eggs it on, not to mention how she loves to tease her kids on just about anything. You are never going to hear the end of this if she can help it.

You really don’t know what you expected. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, even the chat. You can’t help but feel bitter. How come Uki can flirt with as many guys as he wants, you wonder, but I can’t even touch Ike without getting eyed up? 

You know the answer, but it doesn’t do anything to help the bitterness and the embarrassment, and how much you want to hide. On instinct, you take advantage of the warmth and nestle yourself deeper into Ike to hide your face, just in time as he curls his head above yours.

Nina makes a sound kind of like a fork stuck in the garbage disposal for the briefest of moments before smashing her lips together and bringing her glass to her mouth like a mute button. As if you didn’t feel seen enough. 

“Find any other questions, Uki-senpai?” Aia’s nose is buried in her phone, and God, you could kiss her for changing the subject. As much as she poked fun about you about Ike, she was still a total angel and a ride-or-die all at once. 

“Oh, I have questions,” Uki says. Luckily, he’s graceful enough to leave it at that. “Twitter wants to know first impressions for everyone that hasn’t off-collabed before.”

Ren speaks. “I think the only person I’ve done an off-collab with before is Nina, so is it cool if I go first?”

Aia gestures for him to go on. She’s still stuck on her phone as he continues.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, but you ignore it. Then again and again and again, and when you finally check it, you understand why. When Aia, Mika and Alban first heard you spill your feelings for Ike, they made a group chat dedicated to wingmanning—or at least, that’s what they pitched it as. They tease you more than anything else, and as irritating as it gets… you have to admit, it’s nice to confide in them, and nice to know they wouldn’t hold it against you.

Anyways, Alban’s going apeshit. 

Group Chat: 💙 PENANDPAPER REAL 2K4EVER 💕 (4 Members)

Aia Amare: image.png    | 📌 2 |

Alban Knox: AKDHSLSJDKSHSA

Alban Knox: AASDFSDF

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: HAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA KYAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: 💕💕💕💙💕💙💕💙💙💙💕💙💕💕💙

Alban Knox: 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Alban Knox: HOW ARE YOU GUYSS NOT LOSING YUOR MINDSA BOUT THIS

Aia Amare: I AM

Me: omfg did you seriously get a picture of us 

Alban Knox: WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGG DONT CHDCK THIS GC    | 👆 1 |

Me: wtf did you expect you’re spamming 

Alban Knox: YOU AR ELITERALLY CUDDLNG GO FOCUS ON THAY JOT US

Me: we are not cuddling

Alban Knox: YOU ARE

Aia Amare: YOU ARE

Mika Melatika pinned a message.     | 🖕 1 |

Me: mika wth you too? 😭 

Mika Melatika: image.png

Me: did you srsly take a selfie with us in the background

Mika Melatika: YES this needs to be immortalized

Me: you people suck    | 🥰 3 |

Alban Knox: GET THAT NOVELIST BUSSY!!!!

Aia Amare: As if you aren’t about to save that picture yourself~

Alban Knox: NOVELUSSY!!!!!!!!!

Fuck, she got you there. You cast a pointed look at the angelic maiden herself, or at least as pointed as you can be with a man you’re scared to love wrapped around you. She looks as satisfied as a cat pushing a glass off a counter. 

You set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and placed it behind you on the counter with a huff.

“Reader, honey, how about you?” Nina leans forward, half-lidded and as sultry as ever. She swirled her drink around in its glass. “It’s your first off-collab ever, right? I’d love to hear what you have to say.”

“Oh, well, um.” Your brain struggles to catch up. “First impressions, right…”

Aia slips you a thumbs up. You’re going to rip her a new one after this. Her, and Mika, and definitely Nina; this is the most subtle Nina’s ever been but you can tell she’s fishing for an answer here. You can take your friends figuring it out, embarrassing as it is, but you are not about to expose yourself to thousands of live viewers. 

“It’s kind of crazy actually meeting up with everyone,” you start. “I’ve known them for so long, but all online, and being able to match the voice to the face in real life, I don’t think I can actually describe it. It’s kind of surreal, but it feels so nice to just talk to them in person. Aia, Nina and Uki were the first people I met up with, and man, those three are a sight. I know everyone says it, but Uki is absolutely the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Nina and Aia are really pretty, too. Hey, Aiadmirers, did you know when your oshi laughs, she looks just as cute as she sounds?”

Aia yells. “Reader, shut up!”

“Then stop being so cute all the time, you dork!” 

“I’m not a dork! I’m cool!”

You resume, satisfied with your revenge. “Mika and Vox are both really chill. They’re kind of quiet, so if you’re just walking by, you’d think they’re two normal people just going about their days. But whenever we talk it’s always something insane. Vox sounds like a dignified gentleman and Mika is kind of like that cool girl that you want to be friends with, but if you actually pay attention, Mika’s showing Vox a picture of her insides during surgery while he’s reciting something about the Bite of ‘87. And Ren is probably one of the most straightforward people you’ll ever see. He’s so optimistic, and really expressive, too, even though most of the expressions are all different types of smiles.”

“What’s your impression of Ike?” Nina asks.

What does she expect you to say to that one, that screens can’t capture how the sun glitters through his glassy green eyes? Hearing him say your name in-person sends shockwaves through your body? How you want to kiss every little freckle he’s never mentioned before and keeps hidden under long sleeves, even though it’s the beautiful skin he lives in daily?

“Same old Ike. He’s exactly like how I expected,” you say. A total fib. 

She cocks her head. “Really? Even after all the time you’ve spent together?”

“I’m trying to hang out with everyone.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

Cornered. Nina takes a long, slow drink from her glass as you scramble for a quick answer that won’t immediately out you. “Whenever I talk to Ike, he’s really emotive. You can tell what he’s thinking before he says anything. He also has a good sense of style, so he’s fun to go shopping with, and honestly, fun to do anything with. He’s someone you can always have a good time with, and always makes you feel so comfortable around him. Ike’s magnetic.”

Mika muffles a coo behind you. You’re going to kill her if you survive this stream.

“That’s very sweet, Reader,” Nina replies. “Hear that, Ike?”

“Yes, I did.” He sounds strained.

“Got any feelings about it?”

“Yes? I mean—er, thanks?” You feel Ike’s head rustle. “I, umm. What am I supposed to say about that?”

“I don’t know. I just think that about you, that’s all…”

“Aww, cute. I love that you love each other,” Nina muses. 

Ike spits out, “It’s not like that!” Just as you admit, “Yeah, I guess so.”

You process his words too late, though, and even as you sputter the ukulele music cuts out just in time with Nina and Mika’s unfiltered fangirl squeals. Ren’s palms mute the chord as his eyes go wide. Aia is already on her phone with her jaw to the floor and Uki throws a look at Nina while he mouths, did that just happen? 

“I-I mean!” Your throat goes dry and Ike lurches away from you when Vox gleefully shakes Nina like a rag doll. “I—wh—Ike, I mean, of course I love you—“ Mika screams again— “As a friend!”

When you turn to face Ike, he’s curled up into a ball on the barstool with his shirt collar over his face. Even as you feel the blood rush to your face, you keep shouting. That’s all you have left. You’re live. “Like, we’re best friends on and off stream and I love you!”

He mutters something, but you can’t tell what. Only his neck and the tips of his ears poke out from his shirt. Were they always that red?

You repeat yourself. “I said, we’re best friends and I love you, so much!”

“And I said, I know, thank you, I love you too, Reader!” Ike jerks out to face you as he cries. He looks like a tomato. 

Then he buries his face into his hands and squeaks like how he always does when something’s too cute to handle, or he’s got too many emotions he needs to let out. “You can’t see me, I’m too embarrassed. I’m hiding forever and I’m never coming out.”

You hope the ground swallows you up and you never have to confront this moment again. 

Uki hisses under his breath and muffles Ren's ukulele. You don't know what he said, but you realize all too late that the alien prince himself was laying down the first few notes of “Fly Me To The Moon.”

While you slump and fold your arms over your face on the counter in pure embarrassment, Aia stands up and commandeers the mic. She slaps a hand over Mika’s mouth to muffle the scream. “Man, bummer that Ike-senpai is gone from us forever, but you know what else might be gone forever if you don’t get it now? The sponsor for this stream, our current limited-edition Nijisanji voice packs!”

And as much as you could kiss her yet again for changing the subject, you can’t get over how everything blew up in the last five minutes, and groan into your arms instead. 

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The stream passed, luckily, without a hitch after that. No one asked any questions, but it was pretty damn clear everyone in the room had an idea of what just happened, and the impending shitstorm. In fact, it was so clear that when you stalked off to your room to sulk, no one made a fuss, and when you realized ten minutes into your sulking session that you left your phone on the counter, you figured it wasn’t worth it to show your face again until after you finished your pity party. 

The entire time, you laid in your bed with a pillow over your face so you could pretend like you were being absorbed into the sweet embrace of death. Overdramatic, sure, but you figured you were justified. 

Without your phone, you had no way to check exactly how bad the fallout was on Twitter. The poor Pen and Paper tags were sure to be flooded with fans imagining a happy ending to that stint you’d never be able to experience yourself, like salt in the wound. Not to mention, it was a huge seven-person off-collab! It didn’t just end with the Pen and Paper fans. No, it would extend past the Bookworms and the Quilldren, and certainly to the rest of the fandoms with an oshi in this Airbnb. Maybe even the offshoot viewers who don’t regularly watch your content, but made an exception for the off-collab, or, you know, the ones who have no idea who you or Ike are but can’t get enough of the whole accidental-confession-live-on-stream thing. Forget Nina; the entire Vtuber community is never, ever, ever going to live this down. 

Ike sounded so distraught, too. You wanted to kick yourself for it. Not only did you make a fool of yourself, but he got caught in the crossfire just because you didn’t catch yourself slipping. Not like he’d reciprocate anyways. He’s always been bad at taking compliments, but you keep thinking about how embarrassed he was about you loving him. 

All your frustration and humiliation coursed through the darkness under your pillow, and you stew so bitterly that you don’t even dream when you fall asleep. 

You just wake up groggy and exhausted, but too restless to go back to sleep. You look out the window, and the stars have barely come out to play in the early night sky. 

As much as you’d hate to admit it, that impromptu nap made you tired of brooding. Besides, you can’t hide from your friends forever. Hopelessly in love or not, they’re still your friends, and even if you decided to stream during the trip, this off-collab was always about spending time with them instead of worrying over your online presence. 

It takes you half an hour to hype yourself up, but eventually, you open your door and step out into the hall. 

You can already hear voices further away in the Airbnb. You place one of them as Nina, and after her, a baritone that could only belong to Vox. 

“…Fuck Twitter, they’re going to forget about it in two weeks or less anyways.” You overhear as you walk down the hall of rooms and closer to the living room. You’ve heard Vox passionate before, but never this serious as well. “Besides, what exactly did they say?”

A mumble. You can’t place the words, but you bristle when you recognize the voice. That’s unmistakably Ike. 

“See? Again, I’m so sorry. I was out of line, and I forgot my place. I shouldn’t have interrogated them like that,” Nina says. “But you’re overthinking what they said.”

Another mumble. By now, you’re in the kitchen. You lift your phone from where you left it, and hold your fingers over the half of the screen where your notifications appear as you check the time. It’s barely 11 PM. 

The kitchen and living room are connected, with plenty of seating space all around. That was why Mika’s travel laptop was still on the counter and plugged into the wall from the stream earlier, but on the other side of the wall from the kitchen, you noticed an open window and silhouettes from it. Four people sat on the shallow roof overlooking the uneven ground plenty of feet under the building. A pair of fox ears twitch at the night wind as they watched the stars grow brighter in the sky. 

You look through the fridge. You’re peckish, but if you were to be honest with yourself, you’re trying to stay quiet for a reason. 

There’s a huff. “Oh my god, dude. Just tell Reader already.”

You stand up a little straighter. Mika was with them? Were they talking about you?

“There’s nothing to be said, Mika!” Ike huffs back. “I’m screwed anyways. Just drop it, okay? I don’t need this getting in the way of what was supposed to be just a normal trip.”

“You can’t keep running away forever. Just act like an adult and tell them. It’s going to be fine, I swear.”

“And how exactly do you know that?”

“Well…” Mika trails off. “I can’t say. I just know, okay?”

“Uh-huh. And I know I’m screwed.” The wind rustles outside. You stay motionless. “Just two weeks. Can I please just have two weeks where I don’t have to worry about this until the trip is over.”

It’s a question, but he says it with such exasperation that no one can consider any other answers. 

“Fine.” Nina relinquishes. “Have it your way. I’m just worried for you two.”

“It’s going to work out, Ike. But I’m tired.” Vox stifles a yawn. “Tomorrow is going to be better. Let it go for the night and come back to it once you’re in better shape, and just remember. It’s going to work out.”

“Thanks, Vox.”

“Now get in here.”

You hear shuffling fabric before the two men start yelling. Vox cackles while Ike cries through gritted teeth. “Dang it, Vox, I’m going to shove you off this roof!”

“Get ruffled, idiot! That’s your fault for trusting me!”

“I just wanted a hug!”

You snicker under your breath. Vox loves to ruffle Ike’s hair despite the latter’s protests, though he tends to accept it instead of shove him off like anyone else that would dare. Besides, as dreary as Ike sounded during that conversation, he nearly sounded like his old self as Vox and the others laughed.

“I think I’ll go too. Mommy needs her beauty sleep.”

“Mm, I’m still pretty awake. Wanna keep looking at the sky with me, Ike?”

“Sure. Here, Nina, let me move out of the way…”

Shuffling turns to footsteps, and brings you back to reality. You busy yourself looking through the paltry groceries.

The sound of footsteps gets louder and louder, until they become a hollow click on the hardwood floor. Nina crawls through the window, but stops in her tracks with a startled noise.

You turn around and nod as casually as possible. “Oh, hey, Nina.”

Vox is also halfway through the window, and his eyes go comically wide as he forgets how to move. “Oh. Hey. Reader. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah! Um!” Nina coughs long enough to make you uncomfortable. “What are you doing here?”

“Took a nap. Got hungry.” It’s not a lie. You grope around in the fridge and breathe a sigh of relief when you see a stick of string cheese in your hands. “You guys just hanging out?”

Nina nods. “Yeah, we were on the roof. It’s getting late, though. You should get some rest for tomorrow—“

Vox elbows her. “But not after looking at the sky for a little bit. It’s beautiful. Very clear. Romantic, even. The architects did a wonderful job placing this house right at the perfect angle to watch the stars rise. Did I mention it was romantic?”

You act natural and take a big bite out of the string cheese. “Once or twice. Is it the seniors’ bedtime?”

“You got me,” Vox says. 

“I love going to sleep early and giving my kids private time before bed to reflect and hold deep conversations with one another about their feelings,” Nina says. “And also nighttime face masks.”

“Woo, skincare, what she said.” 

“Hey, by the way, Reader, honey, did you hear anything we talked about?”

“No,” you lie.

“Cool,” Vox says. You eat the rest of the string cheese in one bite. “Good for you. And goodnight, Reader.” He dusts himself off before casting his golden gaze down at you. “Be nice, will you?”

Shivers go down your back. You have a feeling he’s referring to something unspoken. “I will.”

“That’s my sweet thing,” he purrs. “Anyways, I’m going the fuck to beddy bye. Honk shoo, Reader, don’t stay up too late.”

Vox struts off with dark hair flowing behind him and the scent of his aftershave in the air. He leaves you to stand awkwardly next to Nina. 

Suddenly, she takes you by your shoulders and forces you in front of her. You blurt out an unflattering startled noise before she gets right up in your face and stares dead into your eyes.  

“Please be good,” she says darkly. Was that a threat? “Please be so, so good to my baby.”

“I will,” you say, more out of fear than anything else.

She blinks once, then she’s back to the doting mother you know and love. She squeezes your shoulders. “Thank you, honey! Sweet dreams!”

And just like the Voice Demon before her, Nina bounds off to her room. 

Huh. That was weird. Nonetheless, you’re alone in the living room, and you can see the outline of Ike and Mika sitting on the roof in silence. 

You lightly knock on the side of the window. They both perk up at the sound. “Cool if I join you?”

Mika responds quickly. “Sure! Watch your step, Reader. The roof isn’t that steep but it would be awkward if you ate shit.”

“Agreed.” You step onto the tiling, and shift your body to match the angle. You feel like a newborn deer learning to walk. Luckily, Nina and Vox leaving meant that there was more than enough space for you right next to the window. 

Ike sits between you and Mika. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah…” 

‘Pretty’ is putting it mildly. The stars are so clear tonight, and scatter across the sky like sequins. The Airbnb was located further away from the heart of the city, so the darkness only amplified how bright the stars shone against the stark night. A breeze drags through the air and fallen leaves rustle between the grass. 

“This is so nice.” Comfort settles into you like the breeze in your hair. “I love it.”

Ike sighs. “Right? It’s so peaceful.”

“And there’s so many more stars out here than there are in the city.”

“It makes you want to just zone out and cool down.”

“Yeah, totally.” Mika coughs. “Huh! Cool! Well, I’m tired now. Just keep staying out here and enjoy the sky, I’m going to bed. Enjoy yourselves.”

Mika inelegantly shuffles around your bodies and slips back inside before either of you can properly tell her goodnight. 

Ike cocks his head as he watches her stumble through the window. “She just said she would stay out…”

“Hm?”

“Ah, nothing. Just thinking to myself.”

With the extra space, Ike leans back and lays along the roof. The stars cast a dreamy glow over his soft smile as he continues. “It really is something that just makes you want to have a deep conversation, or just think, you know?”

You hum in agreement. You get what he means, but there’s only one topic you can imagine having a deep conversation about right now, and it’s the very one you brooded over earlier that day. 

But Ike is Ike. He’s rational and calm and kind, and laughs at your stupid jokes, and texts you first before any of your other mutual friends. The night turns the tips of his hair bluer than usual, and the stars remind you of the freckles hidden along his creamy skin. His glasses reflect the galaxy above.

Even though today’s stream was embarrassing, you know Ike trusts you enough to tell you if you’ve ever crossed a boundary. After all, it’s commonplace to discuss limits on and off stream as soon as possible, and your friendship was so strong that you’ve both opened up to one another. He’d let you know if the whole cuddling thing was too much. Besides, he didn’t resist. He even rested his head on yours. That has to account for something, right?

You snap out of your thoughts when you feel a gentle tug on the sleeve of your hoodie. It’s Ike. He asks, “Lay down with me?”

A wave of fondness washes over you like the tide. He’s cute when he’s earnest like this. You get as comfortable as you can on the tiling, and when you still, you hear something shift before your hand grows warm. Ike scooted closer to you, and placed his pinky finger over yours. 

This is bliss. A beautiful sight with a beautiful boy next to you. Your best friend. 

“I do love you,” you say. 

It just feels right to say. 

Ike is silent. He doesn’t make a single sound as you stare up at the stars and the blackened sky. The breeze rocks a tree, and as the leaves part, you see the moon for the first time: one thin, waning crescent that blends into the darkness. 

Ike’s head is turned away from you. You can’t tell what he’s thinking at all. 

“…I don’t know what you mean,” he admits. “You do? As a friend?”

“We’ve always been friends.”

“Just that?”

“I don’t know what you’re asking me, Ike.”

“N-never mind. I’m sorry, am I making it weird?”

“No, you could never make it weird.” The colors of the view gloss together. You feel like a balloon slowly deflating. “Feels like that’s all I’m doing lately, though.”

Neither of you say anything. 

This was a bad idea. 

You swear the rustling leaves mock you. 

“Wait.” Ike practically snatches your hand up. “Wait, Reader, are you saying you like me?”

“Yeah. I’m saying that I love you.”

Ike stares at you, and if you had to choose just one word to describe his expression, it’s stricken. His mouth is slightly parted, and his shocked eyes drive holes through your skin, leaving you exposed. The brief stutter that escapes him sounds like it was dredged out from frozen, murky waters. “I—”

He drops your hand and turns away. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, barely audible. “This is… this is a lot.”

“I’m sorry too, this was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?” You get on your feet, but the slope makes what could’ve been a fluid motion into a stumbling, slow rise, as if your legs weren’t jelly enough already. You inch to the window mortified. “I think I should go. Sorry to bother you.”

You don’t dare to glance at him before you step back inside, not even when he calls your name halfway through the window.

Once you’re back in the living room, you cover your face, then drag your hands through your hair. You can’t even begin to describe how exhausted you feel. This is heartbreak, isn’t it?

You blink furiously, and the outline of a figure by the fridge comes into view. 

“Reader?” Mika asks. She has a stick of string cheese in her hand, but walks to you. “Reader, what happened—”

You take her empty hand and pace to your room. You open the door. “Are you okay?”

The second it shuts, your breath hitches. Mika doesn’t hesitate to take you in her arms. She holds you as the first tear falls, and you begin to cry.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You wake up the next day sprawled in your bed, even though the blankets are tucked comfortably around you. On the floor is a pillow and another pile of blankets, and when you recognize the dark hair tied into a loose ponytail, the memories of last night come rushing back.

What an awful night. Awful decisions all day, really, and all of them ones you made. You really don’t know what you were thinking. You groan at the memory.

“Reader?” Mika perks up. Her phone is in her hands, but she sits up level to your face on the floor. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

Another groan.

“Yeah, I figured,” she says. “Nina, Vox and Ike went out to do their own thing, and I think Ren and Uki are cafe-hopping. It’s just you, me and Aia in the house right now.”

You rub the sleepy out of your eyes. “That’s cool, I guess.” You cast a downward glance to Mika’s makeshift bed on the floor. “Sorry for being a nuisance.”

“You’re not a nuisance, Reader, don’t say that.” She nudges you. “We’re friends. It’s what friends do. Speaking of, do you want Aia to come by? And Alban’s online, so I can call him, too. If you want.”

“It’d be nice…”

Less than ten minutes pass before Aia shows up at your door with breakfast sandwiches and orange juice. All three of you sit on the blanketed floor while Mika voice calls Alban on her phone. A pot of coffee brews over speakerphone as you recount last night. 

“...And to make things worse, we just streamed yesterday,” you explain. “God, I should check Twitter. There’s got to be a million people with eyes on our ship tag, and ugh, I hate thinking about how many weirdos are going to push a ship that can’t work out IRL.”

“I can check it for you,” Aia offers. You hand her your phone. “You remember your Twitter password?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Sorry in advance.” She deletes the app off your home screen.

You begin to protest, but she turns off the phone and sets it aside, out of your reach. “You’re off the clock, Reader! Work troubles can wait until you’re back online, and that includes doomscrolling. You can redownload it when you’re in a better headspace.”

“I really hate admitting you’re right.”

“Shit, Reader,” Alban finally says. “He seriously dropped the ball. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I really thought he would get it, but it took him so long to piece it together, like he never thought about us like that before. I should’ve known it was just me. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, you’re hurt,” Mika says. “It’s understandable, but that still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“Is it wrong that I feel like I deserve it? I mean, I knew day one that this wouldn’t work out. We work together online, and we have fans that ship us with each other and the rest of this company, for fuck’s sake. Getting heartbroken was inevitable and I still went for it. Either I’m a glutton for pain or I’m just plain clueless.”

Alban’s voice is distant from the phone as he messes with his coffee maker. You can’t properly hear him under his breath and over the pot, but if you could, you could’ve heard him mumble, Trust me, you’re not the only clueless one here.

But he returns back at the phone, and you’re totally oblivious. “You can’t choose who you fall for,” he says. “It was really that bad?”

“It took him like a minute to realize I was confessing. And then when he realized it, he apologized to me.”

Aia straightens. “Did he say no?”

“Not really, but why would he apologize if he reciprocated?”

Aia exchanges a look with Mika. Alban grumbles. “No fucking way.”

“Tell me exactly how he reacted,” Aia instructs. She plowed through her sandwich during the conversation, but she left the remaining half on her plate forgotten as she laced her fingers together and leaned forward like a calculated boss. 

“It was like he couldn’t comprehend what I was saying at first. He asked if I meant it as friends, until he asked me if I liked him. And when I told him I loved him in response, he was so shocked that he let go of my hand, so I left.”

“No fucking way,” Alban repeats, and groans as he drawls out his words. You can practically hear him drag his hands over his face. “No fucking way. Ikeeeee. He seriously dropped the ball.”

“I know. I can’t believe it.”

Aia takes both of your hands in her own. “Reader, I’m not even saying this to hurt you, but this is the clumsiest confession I’ve ever heard of.”

You squint. “Right, that makes me feel so much better.”

“I’m really not! You know what this sounds like? Miscommunication,” she declares. “You didn’t get a solid yes or no. So now it’s going to be awkward between you two until you get an actual answer to the confession, or at least some kind of resolution. You wanna know what I think? It sounds like he didn’t even believe what he was hearing before you left. Which, by the way, is a common response to not just confessions but other major news, so chances are you didn’t blow up your friendship as hard as you thought.”

“She has a point,” Alban says. “I believe you, Reader, but Ike isn’t the type of person to just crush other people’s feelings like that. You just woke up, right?”

“I haven’t even left my room yet. Mika says everyone else is out of the house. He’s with Vox and Nina, I think.”

“So then he hasn’t had a chance to talk to you since the confession,” he continues. “And those three are really close. I’m willing to bet they’re helping him manage it, ‘cause it sounds like he’s going through it just as confused as you are.”

You stare at the floor. Hope feels foreign, yet you can’t help but wonder. You struggle to remember the exact way Ike reacted last night, but you really can’t tell what facts were clouded over by the rejection. A rejection that possibly didn’t even happen, mind you. The confusion and regret blurs over everything like water on wet ink.

“You really think so?” You quietly ask.

Aia nods, and Alban agrees over the phone.

Mika pipes up, a glass of juice in her hands. “Here’s my take. We can theorize as much as we want, but none of us really know what Ike’s thinking about, least of all you. Especially since you didn’t actually resolve anything, and that tension is going to eat at you until you get an answer or it actually damages your friendship. You ask me, the next best thing you can do is bring it up.”

She takes a sip of her juice and leaves you to absorb her advice. 

You mull it over along with the memory of last night. “He called my name as I left.”

Alban chokes on his coffee. “He called your name?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t respond.”

“Oh my God. READER!” He shouts so loud that Mika turns the volume down. “I’m going to lose it. I’m actually freaking it right now. Reader!”

“What?”

“Fuck what Mika said earlier, you are stupid!”

“Hey!”

“I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, you are so stupid. He was trying to talk to you!”

Your face goes through a handful of emotions as you sputter. “Are you serious, Alban?”

“Yes! Mika, Aia, back me up.”

Aia crinkles her nose. “I did just say it sounded like a total miscommunication.”

Meanwhile, Mika twirls a lock of red-and-black hair between her finger, distracting herself. She hesitates, trying to figure out exactly how she wants to say her piece, before she simply shakes her head and stills. “Just talk to him.”

“Which is easier said than done.” Your shoulders roll back as you stare up at the ceiling, your hands supporting you as you lean. Even with your friends’ encouragement, the memory of how hard you blew it last night still haunts you. It’s even worse than starting at ground zero; you’ve already tasted failure once, and you’re hesitant to embarrass yourself again. 

That stricken look Ike gave you flashes across your sight every time you blink. What was he thinking when he stared at you like that? You can’t tell if the disgust is true or if your anxieties are getting the best of you.

The best solution to anxieties, however, is looking at the facts—or at least, what isn’t tainted by your bias. Your friends mentioned there was nothing wrong with a workplace romance, and as much as the stream made you want to cringe, no one seemed put off by it. Alban and Aia are set on getting you and Ike to talk, and so is Mika. In fact, Mika spoke with Ike as well as Vox and Nina last night before you entered, and even if you had no idea what those four were talking about, you still picked up your name and that apparently Ike had something to tell you.

Pieces start to fall into place when you consider the three around you, staging an intervention over a late breakfast. Aia always gets you in situations where you can be close to Ike and bails you out when it gets awkward, and as much as he won’t get off your back about it, Alban gave you great advice between all his teasing. Mika was nosy at first when she learned about your feelings, but now that you think about it, she’s been incredibly tactful ever since the off-collab began. 

You can’t help but snicker as you connect the dots. “Is this the first time you guys actually started wingmanning for me?”

Aia purses her lips. “Hey, not the first. Remember when we made that group chat? We’ve always been your wingmen.”

“I know. But you guys are seriously helping,” you say. “Thanks. Though I do wonder, Mika…”

She perks up as you say her name. “Be real with me. Do you know more than you’re letting on?”

She flinches. Alban’s fingers snap over the phone. “Busted.”

Mika holds her hands up like a criminal caught in the act, but there’s a loose, sly smile hanging on her face. “I don’t think it’s my place to say.”

“What do you mean, it’s not your place to say?”

“I’m sorry, Reader, but I made a promise not to spill, and I’ve been doing way too much behind the scenes to break the promise like that. Just do me a favor and talk to the guy, will you? That’s the best I can tell you.” Mika rests her head in a hand, and the smirk looks even more knowing. “And if you can’t figure it out after that, then you’re definitely stupid.”

You bluster. “I’m not stupid!” 

“Still remains to be seen.” Aia gently flicks your forehead. “But you do look a lot better. How are you feeling now?”

Aside from the fading pain on your forehead? You’re surprised at how much lighter you feel now that you unloaded all your worries with your friends. The rejection still stings, and you’re not exactly confident, but, well, you’re smiling. The clean, tangy taste of orange juice lingers between your tongue. Aia and Mika sitting on the pile of blankets reminds you that regardless of your love life, they’d stay by your side until the bitter end, and Alban’s voice keeps you connected with your friends no matter where in the world you are.

You snatch Aia’s half-eaten sandwich off her plate and sink your teeth into the bread. She cries out in protest. “Hey!”

“Better now.” You set the sandwich back where you found it. Even though your future with Ike looks cloudy, the smile doesn’t leave. “Don’t flick me.”

“Speaking of.” Mika picks up the phone and scrolls through her messages. “Nina just texted that she, Vox and Ike will come back in an hour or less. Reader, are you up for this?”

“What do you mean, ‘up for this?’”

“Just seeing Ike again. It was a weird night,” she says. “I stand by what I said, but if it’s going to be too much too soon, then Aia and I can cover for you until you feel better.”

“I don’t know.” That’s what gets your expression to sink from light to thoughtful. “I think I want to take your advice. I just don’t know if I’m ready to talk it out yet.”

“Still wanna hang out with us or take a moment to yourself?”

“I think I’d just go back to moping if I was alone,” you joke.

“Cool. Let me go grab some nail polish Nina gave me yesterday.” Mika rises and strides to the door. “You have a steadier hand than me. And Nina said the color suits me more than her.”

Aia’s face lights up. She happily cries ”Girls’ night!” even though it’s barely noon and Alban is decidedly not a girl, but then he croons something in a valley girl accent so strong you can’t even tell what he’s saying. Scratch that; he’s a girl by association.

When he drawls out one long “Yaaaaaas, bestie!” you can’t help but laugh. Your love life is in shambles, but at least your friendships are solid as hell. You’d give the world for these three.

Mika returns a moment later, travel-sized nail supplies in her arms and a totally unrelated topic on the mind. The sharp scent of the lacquer startles you out of your thoughts as you uncap the bottle and Mika splays her hands out, and Alban and Aia air their opinions on something entertainingly dumb. 

Nina was right: this color is stunning on Mika. You paint Aia’s nails too, and halfway through her second hand, you hear the front door open, the end of an intelligible conversation, and telltale footsteps, each diverting across the house. The girls’ eyes flicker to you. You know they’re trying to read your expression, but you concentrate on how the brushstrokes pool together into one smooth coat. Your thoughts are a storm and you can’t even pick out the emotion commanding it. 

So you keep joking along instead and focus on the nail polish, refusing to give the storm an opportunity to strike. Alban quips off of you, and the moment passes as Mika and Aia return to the conversation. 

That is, until half an hour later when you hear a knock on the door. Mika cocks her head, a silent question, and when you nod she stands. Her nails dried when you finished Aia’s, and dot the doorknob as she cracks it open. A tiny margin of light from the hallway shines into your room, and you realize she positioned herself square in front of the threshold, shielding you from the person on the other side. 

She talks evenly. “Hey, welcome back.”

“Thanks. Is Reader here?”

Your mind thunders as you register the voice. You can only see the leg of his jeans behind Mika, but you recognize Ike’s voice on the other side. 

Aia shuffles by as a second shield. “Need them for something?”

“Kind of,” Ike says. “Do you mind if I talk to them?”

“I don’t know, what’s it about—“

“Aia, you can lay off him.” You call from your corner of the room. “You too, Mika.”

“Whatever you say. Just let me just grab my stuff…”

Mika grabs the nail supplies and deafens on Discord, but doesn’t even think to pick up the blankets along the ground. Instead, she glides to you and whispers under her breath. “We’re rooting for you. Send us a text if you need anything, okay?”

You nod. Aia slips past the threshold, but not without shooting you a thumbs up and mouthing ‘good luck.’ Not even a second later, your phone buzzes, and you catch Alban’s contact sending you an encouraging message in all-caps. 

“See you later!” Aia chirps. “Play nice, you two.”

The scent of the lacquer follows them as they leave, and the sound of their footsteps fade in time. 

Still in the doorway, Ike raises a hand to fidget with the chain along his glasses. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Oh! Come in. Sit anywhere, I don’t mind.”

You stay planted on the floor like how you were with your friends, and Ike sits next to you. You face the wall in front while he gets comfortable.

No words are exchanged as Ike maneuvers around the blankets, and eventually settles down with his back on the floor and head resting on a pillow, staring up at the ceiling. The light is off, but the blinds filter in thin beams of sunlight that cross over the room and the edge of his collar like a grid. 

“Lay with me?” He asks. Then it strikes you like ringing metal; you sit next to each other in the same positions as that night on the roof. 

Suddenly Ike raises his hands like static. “Not that you have to! I just figured it would be good to get comfortable and all, you know?” Ike hastily explains, then clears his throat. “I wanted to talk. About last night, I mean.”

Your chest flutters at the mention of it, but you remember all your friends’ encouragement. Here he is, the novelist of your (heartbroken) dreams, already bringing up the topic you dread to mention. You need to take this chance to face it head-on, now or never. 

You glide down like the ceiling is full of stars. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

“A lot, honestly. I don’t know how to go about it, but first of all, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

You cross your arms. “You said that enough last night.”

“Not like that! I mean I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I think I made every wrong choice once you said that you… that.” He shovels a hand through his hair. “I’m making it weird again. I should apologize for that, too, it’s just kind of embarrassing saying out loud that you, um, you loved me. Not that you should be embarrassed. I mean, I get it if you are, but that took a lot of guts. You should be proud of that. I admire you for that.”

“Slow down. What are you even saying?”

“What I wish I said last night. More than anything else, I’m sorry I got caught off-guard. I must’ve been so standoffish, because my idiot brain just didn’t believe what I was hearing until it was too late and the damage was already done.” Hair the color of ash and ocean falls over his face. “Honestly, I can’t believe it now.”

“I get it. Bad idea from me. Can we move on from that yet?”

“I don’t think it was a bad idea at all. I just had no idea that you liked me.”

“Give me some time and I’ll get over it, eventually. I’m not going to let it get in the way of working with you, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.”

“No, that’s not it either! I—“

Ike’s eyes squeeze shut. His voice is so quiet, you can’t discern what he’s saying. “…Actually, I’m…”

“Repeat that?”

“I’m happy. Really happy,” Ike says. His pitch rises like a balloon floating up into space, struggling to stay composed. “I’m not good at saying it, but I meant it when I said… when I said it during the stream.”

You wave a hand in the air. “It was weird timing, and I know you mean it like a friend,” you reply. “I didn’t mean to pressure you into saying it, and just being friends is fine. Even though I’m a loser that messed up just about everything.”

The hand catches in midair. Doll-like fingers weave through your grasp, and turn your touch warm as Ike turns to look at you. “Not with me. Don’t say that about yourself, okay?” 

You stare at how easily he held your hand, and how his fingers cradle your heart between the palms. The corners of Ike’s eyes are narrowed, two beads of peridot stone that can see through every little line of text between your pages, but there’s gentleness under his glasses. Something uncertain and fluffy. Softened like a lamb even though he leaves you defenseless. 

You don’t know what to say. Ike is beautiful and kind and handsome and thoughtful when he’s earnest like this. He’s got you stupid in the head and wrapped around his pinky finger, and doesn’t have a single clue.

Peridot sparkles. “You’re so much more than that. You don’t mess things up, Reader. I’m in love with you.”

Your mouth goes dry and your tongue is still tied. Forget speechlessness; the man took your own damn thoughts away. Your hand remains frozen in air with Ike’s. If it weren’t for the light drag of one of his fingernails along your skin, then you would have figured he took your senses as well.

But the drag ends, and the fingers unlace themselves, and chilled air fills in the gaps Ike once held close. The tips of his fingers rest at the curve of your palm for just one second more before they drift away.

The glint in his eyes dulls. His hand falls to his chest, over his heart, just as slow as he parted. The uncertainty took over, and now it’s like staring at a cloud that doesn’t know if it should rain. Ike’s gaze lowers to his heart. There’s a stretch of silence and motionlessness as he stares at where your touch once was, and you’re paralyzed where you lay.

Ike's hand curls in on itself, too loose to make a fist, and his lashes sink over his eyes. His mouth is set into a flat line, but the cheeks are dusted in pinks and reds and peppered freckles in-between, demure and shy all the while.

He turns his face away soon after that. Another break of silence, and he shuffles again, with your vision on his back as if it were a hiding place.

It startles you out of your stupor. The gridded sunlight lets you analyze what you missed. After months of thinking your feelings would never be reciprocated, Ike thought of you just the same. He’s always been in your corner, and you would go to the ends of the earth for him, and everything is in its perfect position. But his back is still turned, and the memory of last night—your confession, and his inaction—it rushes to your head.

So you reach out instead.

Maybe it’s a little selfish. You’re tired of bumbling around and concealing your true feelings, and now that everything's out in the open, you aren’t about to let go without resolution.

But Ike is your best friend, and the man you fell in love with. There was no way you’d ever let go in the first place.

You wrap your arms around his back and hug Ike.

“I think I get why you were so taken aback last night,” you whisper. Even though you’re alone with Ike, you still say it like a secret. “I can barely believe it myself.”

Your warmth is inviting, and every second that passes is another defense downed. Your head perches right above his neck and along his shoulder. It’s not your first hug with Ike at all, but there’s only been so many since you first met him in person that it still feels special, and with your bodies flush to the floor, it’s intimate. His eyes are averted and one cheek lays down on the blankets, but the tips of his ears glow scarlet under his jewelry. 

“I’m glad you were patient with me. I really didn’t think I had a chance with you. You know, the long distance and the company, and you know, the standard pining fare. I’m really lucky.” A smile slips through your words. “I’ll stay with you, okay? So take all the time you need.”

Ike chuckles. Even his laughter is blushy-bashful. “I’m just so happy you feel the same, too. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

His body curls as he lays, and your legs brush along his as you cuddle. Holding him makes it feel like he was made to fit in your arms. You sigh. “I love when you can’t contain it. It’s so cute.” 

Ike squeaks at that, and unwittingly proves your point. “It feels so good to say that out loud. I mean, you’re okay with it, right?” A nod. “And you’re okay with… I don’t know. Are we still friends?”

“Of course we are, no matter what. You said you loved me first, so let me say this one?” 

You have a feeling you know what’s coming next. You hug him even tighter.

“Reader, let’s go out. I don’t want this feeling to end,” he confesses, and your world turns into rose and blush. “Can we?”

Though you expected it, he still takes your breath away—until he taps you on the hand. “Come on, say something before my heart explodes!”

“Mine already did! I can’t even think straight, and—I’d love that. I really want this.”

Another squeal breaks out as Ike buries his head into a blanket, and your heart soars as he melts. He resembles a swaddled-up kitten, and the rays of sunlight line his silhouette. The fluffy blanket reminds you of an angel’s downy wings along his kitten features. You can’t even see his face between the blanket and his hair, but his squeal continues, muted through the blanket as he swoons. 

Somehow that only makes you feel even more flustered. “No, don’t hide! I want to see you!”

Maybe it would’ve been better for your heart if he stayed put, because when Ike rises—with disheveled hair and glitter in his eyes the color of seaglass, and jewelry that frames his red face, and that galaxy of freckles you hold so dear and shine like stars between his blush—you feel your heart stop. Again.

“When did you start having this effect on me?” You ask, mesmerized, and before you know it you thumb over one of his rosy cheeks. “Your freckles are so beautiful.”

He sheepishly grins. “They don’t really show up online. They’re pale.”

“Never noticed them until I met you in person. I love them. I love you.”

The grin gets a little wider. One of his fingers grazes along the corner of your ear. Has his hand always been along your jawline?

Ike’s eyes are shining under the grid of sunlight. The lashes flit just a bit lower from your gaze. “Reader, can we…?”

You close your eyes.

And when Ike’s lips graze your own, you smile on instinct before you remember to kiss back. 

Ike brings you near, searching for the taste of you as he continues. His touch lodges past your jawline and into your hair, and when one of the fingers grazes along your ear you’re reminded just how much you love Ike. All the yearning you hid for so long bleeds through as you sink down to his level with his head in your hand, gentle yet impassioned.

Then your face bumps against Ike’s glasses. The kiss breaks as you back away.

There’s a brief pause in the aftermath. Ike wordlessly adjusts his glasses, now knocked off-center. Despite finally getting on the same page on your relationship with Ike, you’re still as clumsy about your feelings as ever.

But the corners of your lips curve up as he inspects the lens you squished, then a barely-stifled giggle, and next thing you know, Ike’s laughing along with you, still underneath your body and with one hand in your hair while the other holds his glasses in place. He sounds as charming as he looks, and the fact that he joined you even when you chuckled out of the blue means that his mind is just as charming as well.

Not that it was breaking news. You know your best friend well, and now that you don’t need to deny your feelings any longer, you know you’ve got good taste if Ike’s under you with crinkled eyes and hearty laughter.

When you speak next, the giggles patter out between your words but the quiet delight hangs in your teeth. “Can we try that again?”

Then his lips are on yours again, and the laughter twists between the second kiss, and the third, and the fourth, all the way until you collapse on the blankets with arms around each other, staring up at the stars on the bland popcorn ceiling as adoration fills the space between you. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

bonus.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Starting soon…

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The chat flickers alive as a four-pointed flower, a diamond, and a thorned heart give way to the stream and the novelist behind the stinger. 

Kaidororero: welcome back ike!

Min (Ikey’s Book): 💙 IKEY IS BACK 💙

A normal broom: HI IKE

lunasmortas: 💙💙💙

viperip: ike! :_heart: :_heart: :_heart:

Sun shines through a clear day in Ike’s room onscreen, but in reality, blackout curtains block out the day outside. A sweet smile graces both Ike’s face and his model as the Quilldren welcome him home. 

He greets them, and cracks open a can of soda as he quickly scans through the chat. Obviously, the off-collab is on everyone’s minds. 

juuuuuuuuuus: did you have fun?

Kaidororero: offcollab POOOG

lunasmortas: SO CUTE :_heart: :heart:

Johnclone: Hope you had a good time!

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER REAL

Hm. A mod will eventually bonk that message. But then again, it’s inevitable that the ship would come up in chat. 

Ike takes it in stride and ignores it like any other shipper, but his heart still skips a beat. Nonetheless, he doesn’t call any attention to it. “How about that off-collab, right? I met up with my friends! Where do I even begin?”

Ike recounts his trip from the beginning, and the Quilldren react to his stories with interest. He was one of the last to arrive, so Nina, Uki and Reader picked him up from the airport, and met up with Aia, Ren, and Mika at the Airbnb. Vox was the only one to arrive after him, hot off the heels of a flight delay, but the demon was a welcome party all his own despite his exhaustion. 

“We went to karaoke once Vox got situated,” Ike explains. “Nina put that song in first so we could all let loose, and so she would have a fun voice tweet for everyone. Might as well confirm everyone that showed up, right?

“But after that, we didn’t want to stress ourselves out to perform for voice tweets instead of just having fun, so that was the only song we recorded. I wish you could’ve heard Uki and Vox’s duet, though. And while we were singing, turns out Ren packed a ukulele with him! Sometimes he would learn how to play along by ear, like a jam session. Mika knows how to play ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ too, so everyone joined in singing that while she played it. It was so much fun.”

Johnclone: Everyone sounded great!

sunblast99: uki’s voice >>>>>> everything else 💜💙

haabinae: :_tskr:

Festersk: WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT 🗣🗣

A normal broom: what did you sing?

Ike leans back in his chair. He blows a lock of hair out of his sight as he tries to think. “I remember Vox sang something by George Strait, so then we all egged him on to sing ‘Country Roads.’ He only did it once I promised to queue up ‘Toxicity’ by System of a Down afterwards.”

lunasmortas: OMG 💙💙💙

gatamiizuus: ayo?

Y A M: YESSSSSSS :_tskr: :_tskr:

haabinae: I LOVE SOAD :_fanboy:

Thornmy: SO COOL 💙

“Thank you.” He says it out of obligation. If he thinks too hard about the compliments, he’ll get embarrassed. “What else was there? I think there was some Motionless in White, and Spiritbox. Oh, and My First Story. Can’t forget My First Story.”

K. K. Soda: ooooo

Alban Knox 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : what about mcr

asper ch.: METAL SCREAM?

deeboorgur: HI ALBAN

Y A M: MCR YEAAAAA  :_glowstick_1: :_glowstick_2:

“I’m getting there, Alban!” 

Ike takes a sip while the Quilldren greet Alban. He’s not too surprised Alban seems to know more than the other viewers. He’s close with almost everyone that went on the trip, and was super active on Discord during the off-collab. The novelist lowers his soda as the chat floods in orange hearts. He wonders how Alban learned so much as an observer. He should ask. 

But that’s a question for after stream. Ike continues. “Thank Nina for that. She queued up ‘I’m Not Okay’ by My Chemical Romance, and then shoved two mics in my hands and Reader’s.”

And the chat explodes. 

Kaidororero: OMGGGGGG 💙💕

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER SO CUTE :_tskr:

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER DUET

asper ch.: AYOOOO MCR

gatamiizuus: I LOVE READER

ystariya: PEN AND PAPER MY BELOVED

“It’s a really fun song! It’s almost all clean vocals, but there’s this scream in the middle. Up until then, we sang together, but then I screamed, and Reader picked up the slack and sang the parts of the verse I couldn’t. They’re amazing.”

gatamiizuus: READER SIMPS COME GET Y’ALL’S JUICE

Thornmy: THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD

lunasmortas: 💙💕💙💕

ystariya: READER KARAOKE STREAM WHEN

Kaidororero: AWWWWWWW

The model on the screen doesn’t have the same glint in Ike’s eye when he talks about you. That first day of the trip was all about getting comfortable after long travel hours, and the stories went on as the days went by. Sightseeing with Aia and shopping with Uki by day, and spending the night shooting the shit with Ren until it turns into the littlest hours of the morning.

“Vox wanted to try a bunch of different restaurants with me, but you know me, ya boi is not good with most foods. So Nina usually came along in case I couldn’t finish something. She and Vox would share my leftovers.”

Something fond crosses over Ike’s face. His eyes cloud over in fog descending over a clear-sky day. “We would always talk over food about anything. I appreciate it a lot. They really get me.” The fog stills. “And over breakfast one morning, they gave me some excellent advice over something I’ve been meaning to do.”

ver*batim: ❤️💙❤️

K. K. Soda: MILORDDDDD

nroneo: :_heart:

A normal broom: upcoming project? 👀 

Johnclone: I love Nina Kosaka!

“Not a project, no. It was something I was really worried about, even when I was supposed to be taking a break with my friends,” he says. “But those two seriously helped me clear my head about it. Mika, too. Vox and Nina had a lot of nuanced advice, but Mika told it to me straight, and helped handle what I couldn’t. I’m really thankful to have them.”

His set jaw loosens. “Maybe I’ll talk about it one day.”

The model cocks to the side. Motion blurs the foggy sobriety away. With a lightness to his voice and a knowing gaze, Ike looks straight into the camera and smiles, sentimentality forgotten. The air clears. “But for now, it’s a secret~!

“Ah, now where was I? Spending time with my friends, right? Reader and I hung out often. Sometimes with others, but it ended up being the two of us more than not.”

Birds chirp outside Ike’s window in time with the hum of his PC. The backlit keyboard in front of the monitors glows the same color as the computer, a healthy blue light that tints the tips of his fingers. He usually sets it to a rainbow spectrum in his own time, but static blue is reserved for going live. It gets him in the right mindset for streaming, and makes his little apartment feel fantastical like the noble background that accompanies his model, even if it only reaches his fingertips. 

He’s sure the Ike on the screen has fingertips tinged with blue just like him, an extension of the man outside the screen but without the grittier details. Smooth, pristine hands under gloves where his are callused from guitar playing. Nothing under the model’s eyes but lashes and a line of red that brings out the pink in his eyes, very much unlike the heavy bags and sunken face from an awful delay on his flight back home. No freckles, either, but even cameras rarely pick them up on video call. Nina cooed over them the first time they met, as motherly as ever, but behind closed doors Reader was utterly fascinated with them. They mentioned something about watching blush travel around his face with the smattering of freckles in-between once or twice… maybe more? Doesn’t matter when he’s never heard that before and it repeats in his head when he catches himself daydreaming. It’s one of the best things he’s ever heard.

Vtuber Model Ike’s face doesn’t heat up like how Real Ike’s certainly is now. He clears his throat. “The weather was really nice during the entire trip, so we would always get into good conversations while walking back to where we were staying. And sometimes we didn’t want to end the conversation, so we’d just keep walking past our Airbnb until our feet hurt or it got dark, whichever came first. 

“Oh, here’s something funny. Uki really loves cafes, right? Usually he woke up early with Ren to go check out some cafes in the morning, way before the rest of us would even think of waking up. By the time everyone else woke up, they already finished their breakfast, and Uki would tell Reader about the ones to visit or skip. Whenever Uki recommended one, Reader always wanted to go themselves, so I went along to keep them company.” 

Even as his skin returns to its original shade, the sweetness sticks to his throat like the soda he’s barely touched at all. He’s wistful. He didn’t expect to miss Reader this much; after all, his relationship with them has bloomed so much ever since you first started working together, but two weeks together (including mutual close friends) changes things. It’s only been two days since he returned home, but he feels out of rhythm with them. 

He’s gotten too accustomed to them. Over the last few months, he thought he did a good job putting aside his feelings for Reader, even when Nina would tease him after every Pen and Paper collab and Vox and Mika would be right behind her, hyping him up to make a move. The fear of rejection was what motivated him to keep his close friendship with Reader without ever confessing to them.

“Reader…”

The world around him is nothing. Paused to buffer as he thinks. He can’t remember the last time he felt so happy. Just being in the same room as them makes him feel stupid, and surely he’s been acting like it. Everything he says sounds clumsy when he’s with them. After all, on that day when he owned up to the feelings he repressed for so long that he couldn’t properly react to Reader’s confession, he couldn’t say much more than how happy he was. Words fail to describe what Reader means to him, yet he’s a novelist, for crying out loud! How ironic!

“...Reader is so patient with me,” Ike says. “And they’re so considerate and dedicated. I wish I told them that earlier. It’s hard to say things out loud like this, but you only meet people like Reader once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and even then, there’s no one quite like Reader.”

ystariya: i love reader

Kaidororero: pen and paper awwww

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER

acklmystafoot: ike is so sweet!!!

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 💙

“Aaah!”

Ike recoils like his keyboard is flaming lava. The model on the screen leans back and freezes in place while he nearly throws himself out of his chair. “R-Reader! What are you doing here?!”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : FKJLJJSLKFJDKS LMAOOOOOOOO

Johnclone: Hello Reader!

Y A M: OMG

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : just wanted to say hi

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : hi!

Festersk: LMAO

Ike sputters out nothing but empty air and nervous laughter. “Haha. Um. Hi! Welcome!”

Stupid! He wants to kick himself. He’s made improvement on verbalizing affection, and he’s comfortable with Reader, especially now that there aren’t any secrets left, but he’s still so unfamiliar with affection being returned that his heart is still doing kickflips in his chest. 

haabinae: :_blush: :_blush: :_blush:

juuuuuuuuuus: most normal pen and paper moment

Thornmy: AWWW

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : check discord

A normal broom: Oh?

“Ah, okay! Give me a second.” Ike keeps his Discord on mute, and usually disables desktop notifications when he’s live, so he’s not surprised to open the window to unread messages and some non-urgent pings. Sure enough, Reader sent him something.

Reader: because you were talking about cafes

Reader: image.png (3)    | 💙 1 |

Me: Oh I recognize these from our first date!

It’s been over a week now, but just saying he went on a date with Reader has him squeezing his legs together so his feet wouldn’t start kicking in the air. 

Reader: ahh you remembered! 

Me: I should’ve figured you took more pictures than the ones you showed me

Reader: dw i have more i wanted to show you

Reader: image.png (8)    | 💙 1 |

Me: Seriously how are you so good at photography I don’t get it-

Me: You’re really pretty in this one!

Me: UGHHHH WHY DO I LOOK SO WEIRD    | ❌ 1 | 💕 1 |

Me: I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE YOU TAKE THIS ONE

Reader: WTH YOU’RE NOT WEIRD

Reader: YOU’RE LITERALLY SO HANDSOME WHY DO YOU  T H I N K  I TOOK THAT PIC

Well, great, now he’s actually kicking in his seat. Ike is inclined to disagree, but when Reader says it, it’s a super-effective attack on his poor little novelist heart. 

Me: Akaslwdnja

Me: Thank you 😭

Reader: anyways i gotta go i stream in 20 min and i’ve barely eaten my food

Me: Go eat! Do you have enough water?

Reader: just refilled my bottle

Me: Good then don’t let me keep you! Have a good stream!

And before he can overthink it, in the moment—

Me: I love you!

His sights are set on his second monitor.

Reader is typing…

Reader doesn’t have to respond. Sometimes just saying it is enough. 

Reader: fdsjdfkl.

Ike’s been trying to relearn that lesson ever since he realized everything he repressed was reciprocated.

Reader: i love you too, ike

Words heard across the world, one of the people he holds most dear.

His heart beats loud in his ears, but he can feel it slow, somehow. Reader is exhilarating, but there’s security in them, too. The nerves kick in until he remembers they’re just as exposed as the other, and the vulnerability generate a sense of comfort. Reader makes him feel understood like no one else in the world does, and he trusts them more than anything.

He does. He does, he does, he does, even if he only has the strength to say it one at a time. Ike is in love.

Reader: i’ll let you know when i’m done streaming, we can watch a movie together after

Me: It’s a date!    | 💕 1 |

It takes him a moment to tear his gaze away from your messages. 

His streaming monitor reflects his movements. The chat moves along. Blue light spreads through his fingertips, just like how he imagines Vtuber Model Ike’s hands resting on his own keyboard, an extension of the man outside the screen, proof of the fantastical.

“They sent me something.” Ike’s laughter is gentle. “I really do love them.”

The chat zooms past, as expected. Surely that would get clipped alongside the off-collab Q&A, but he can’t seem to care. He doubts the fandom would really understand how deep the connection goes, and if they do? Some things are just meant to be private.

Besides, on the day Ike and Reader get comfortable enough in their relationship to go public, he knows the Quilldren have his back, just like Reader and their Bookworms. 

“Reader, if you’re still there, we need to meet up again,” Ike says. “I don’t know when, but one day.”

A flurry of messages, but only one truly matters.

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : i wouldn’t miss it for the world

The model onscreen grins. It pales in comparison to Ike himself.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊commentary ↣

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

[twisted-tales-told]

Part II

When Regulus wakes up its the sound to a coffee maker grinding beans and hissed cursing. 

He sits up to see a very anxious James Potter about to pull the plug to the coffee machine right out of the wall. 

“It already woke me, we might as well have coffee,” he croaks, his voice still slurry from sleep. 

“Sorry,” James scratches the back of his neck. “I hadn’t seen you until I turned it on.” 

“It’s fine, James.” 

James looks at him with soft eyes and a smile that pulls at something deep in Regulus’ chest. “I missed you saying my name.” 

Oh. 

Suddenly Regulus can’t stop the ragged breath that’s been clawing up from the bottom of his lungs. James’ eyes immediately widen and he puts the coffee mug in his hands down and rushes to the side of the couch. His hands hover in the air like he wants to hold on, do something, but Regulus can’t help but flinch away. 

“I’m sorry,” James’ voice goes soft and pleading. “I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry.” 

“I just—“ Regulus tries to get control back against this wild lurching thing. “I didn’t think you would be here.” 

“Oh.” To his credit, James tries hard to hide the hurt. He always does when Regulus’ words bite. But he’s never been very good at hiding anything on that damn face of his. 

“I didn’t know you and Sirius—“ 

“Lived together?” A watery smile replaces the damage Regulus dealt him. 

“I don’t know why, I only knew his address because of you.” 

James breathes out a laugh, “yeah. And—I mean, just so you know, Sirius isn’t exactly…aware of us talking.” 

“Talking,” Regulus sounds out the word, some of the tightness is starting to leave his chest. “You sending me messages and me not responding doesn’t constitute talking.” 

“Well, apparently it was useful,” James grins, some of his old cheer making it back into his voice.

“Why did you?” Regulus asks, unable to help his curiosity. “Keep texting me, I mean.” 

“I didn’t want to let you go,” James shrugs, standing back up. “C’mon, coffee’ll be ready soon.” 

Regulus trails behind him to the kitchen, finally taking in the apartment in the morning light. The walls are a light tan colour, complimenting the deeper brown of the countertops and cabinets. One accent wall along the stove is a deep red. A window on the side wall fills the whole area up with light. In the window is a glass sun catcher shaped like, well, the sun. Regulus recognizes it instantly.

“I can’t believe you kept that thing,” Regulus murmurs, fingertips grazing the small figurine, making it sway and casting a rainbow throughout the kitchen. 

“It’s a nice memory.” He can hear the smile in James’ voice, but he doesn’t look at him. 

A moment later the coffee machine beeps. 

****

Sirius doesn’t remember the events of the night before until he stumbles into the kitchen to see James and Regulus talking quietly over a cup of coffee.

“Coffee’s ready,” James holds out a mug to him. 

“Thanks,” Sirius takes it, going over to the coffee pot and filling it up to the brim. Something tells him he’s going to need it to get through today. Talking with his brother has never been his strong suit. 

They drink in mostly silence, James talks about his job, which he has the day off from today. He’s a fire fighter, meaning he’s got lots of stories. Sirius has heard all of them before, but Regulus seems entranced. Good. It’s the first time since Regulus walked in through the door that he didn’t look utterly shattered. 

Suddenly Sirius’ phone rings. An unknown number. He ignores it, switching the sound off, but Regulus’ gaze flicks to the sound. “Telemarketers,” he waves it off. 

The phone rings again. 

“Don’t answer it,” Regulus says, voice distant. 

“Regulus,” Sirius starts cautiously. “Did you give our mother my phone number.” 

“No,” he scoffs, “do you really think she can’t find it all on out own?” 

“Right. Second question, why is she using it.” 

“Because I ran away,” he says simply. Like it’s the easiest thing in the world to admit. Sirius’ jaw drops anyways. 

“You ran away,” he echos back. He glances to James, who’s face goes from a smile to blank when he catches Sirius watching. “You…”

“Yes, Sirius I ran away.” 

“Why?” 

“Really?” He narrows his eyes, “do you have to ask.” 

“I mean—they’re terrible, but you—Reg, you insisted you had to stay for uni.” 

“Yes, well, as of three months ago, I graduated.” 

“Congrats,” James murmurs, holding out his hand for a fist bump. Regulus ignores it. 

“I—what?” 

“Okay,” James intervenes, putting a hand over Sirius’ to ground him. “Why don’t you start at the beginning.” 

“The good thing about University is that the records are very secure.”

“And that matters because?” Sirius asks, James gives him a glance that obviously means shut up, but Sirius ignores him. Mostly. 

“It means I could switch majors without telling anyone.” 

“You’re not a business major?” 

“I was, for three months.” 

“And then?” 

Regulus just glares at him. 

“So,” James moves the conversation along. “I’m guessing graduation ceremony happened, and your parents found out.” 

“That they did,” Regulus hums, taking a long drink from his coffee. 

“But that was three months ago,” Sirius argues. “What—“

“The point is,” Regulus cuts him off firmly, levelling him with a cutting look. “They’re looking for me.” 

“Shit,” Sirius curses as his phone lights up again with an incoming call. 

“You don’t think they’d like, file a missing persons report or anything do you?” James questions them both. 

“I don’t know,” Regulus admits, “they didn’t with Sirius.” 

“But they also knew where I was,” Sirius reminds him. “Either way, you’re legally an adult. They can’t drag you back there. They won’t.” He tries to say it with as much conviction as possible. Regulus nods minutely in return.

“I’m starving,” Sirius grins, trying to push down the unease in his bones. “Pancakes anyone?” 

James and Regulus both perk up at the thought, and Sirius moves to start them. 

“Did someone say pancakes?” Comes a tired voice from the hallway. Sirius turns to see Remus shuffling in, a big yawn on his face, which quickly morphs to confusion when he spots Regulus. 

“Reg? What are you doing here?” Regulus opens his mouth to speak but Remus holds out a hand. “Coffee first, actually.” 

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hey there's something you might wanna know

George Cubbins/Karim from Lockwood and Co. is aroace :D

It's not openly stated or anything but like c'mon its obvious as shit

For example, in the last episode of the show George is helping Lockwood walk after he got injured and says "This is so touchy-feely." And you might think thats just his autism or something BUT THEN Lockwood replies "It's a medical necessity, George, it doesnt mean a thing."

:DDDDDD

Hey! Thank you so much for the recommendation^^

Personally, I haven't touched upon it much in my latest post but I'm pretty strict with what I consider rep and if asexuality or aromanticism isn't explicitly named in the story, or at the very least laid on very very very veeeeeeery thick with no possibility AT ALL to interpret it any other way (but really mostly... Yeah explicitly named), I don't consider it actual representation. (On that note, no, mere Twitter-or-Tumblr-confirmations don't count as proper representation to me either, if you have to go to a social medium to know about more things that "are in the show" then they're not really "in the show", are they.)

The reason is I think a- people who watch the series and don't know what asexuals or aromantics are won't know any better if it's not named, and b- I actually trust society on that so little that I doubt most writers even know what asexuals or aromantics are, OR if they do, CARE about representing them at all, so unless it's actually named, I'll mostly come to the conclusion that it's done by accident. In short... Maybe it's obvious to US who recognize ourselves in that orientation but to the average person, characters that only exhibit traits of asexuality and aromanticism without it being explicitly named are "haha so quirky" and kinda nothing more.

Basically we're at a point where asexuality and aromanticism are not public knowledge enough yet for mere hints to count as rep imo. Which is tricky because mere hints are enough for most orientations, but... I don't think the knowledge about us is there yet to the point that it'd be enough.

But... Yeah that's my take on it, and I AM pretty strict about those things, so I don't mean to ruin that for others if that's enough for them TwT Cus regardless it can be pretty great to recognize oneself in a character. So this is pretty good to know for people who don't need the orientation being named for it to count as rep in their book! So thank you for that^^

[jackedmusclegorl]

Hobie Brown x Pop Record Producer!Reader

The first time you and Hobie met, it was through mutual artist friends of yours. Random Thursday, 9 PM, local pub in Camden.

Needless to say, there was an immediate rivalry!

You and Hobie spent hours arguing on why pop IS/ISN’T the most superficial genre, how pop IS/ISN’T a unique and subversive genre that tells it’s own story, etc etc.

“I mean, those records you make yeah? Pure trash. No soul at all. I wonder how you producers sleep at night churning marketable garbage to brainwash the masses!”

“Christ Hobie, for an anarchist you sure are an elitist snob when it comes to music.”

At the end of the night, you managed to snag his telephone number

The next morning, you hear a ringing that you (mostly) expected, picking up with a bit of a smirk

“Let’s have a bit of a contest, then,” he picks up the conversation as if it never ended, “Show me your favorite records, and I’ll show you mine. Then you’ll understand. Hell, you might even switch your career to punk rock producer. How ‘bout it, love?” You agree. He’s listening to ABBA until his ears fucking bleed.

The next few days is spent exchanging Walkmans (Walkmen?) with Hobie

You get a LOT of Sex Pistols and, cheekily, some of his own stuff mixed in there

He gets (what he perceives as) a disgusting amount of MJ and some other tracks he doesn’t immediately recognize

“Yeah, I mean, the other stuff was all right I guess.” He holds up the several unmarked cassettes you loaned him. “Lyrics about love are a bit over the top, but other than that, ‘s fine. I quite liked it in fact.”

“I produced those. They’re mine.”

Long pause… “Oh, alright…”

During rehearsals and practices he’ll sneak in some of your unmarked cassettes, some of which he added his own titles to, such as: “The One About Teen Romance (Dumb)” and “Stupid Song About Two Twats in Love (Stupid).”

He’ll never admit to listening to them over and over again when he’s supposed to be practicing, lazily strumming along and creating his own off-the-cuff riffs because he knows the song’s melody like the calluses on his fingertips now.

“Whatever, this sucks,” he thinks.

He’ll never admit to secretly hoping you’re in the studio right now, creating some stupid sugary track about love and romance and The One. He’ll never admit to secretly hoping the next track is about him.

[matan4il]

911 ep 709 first watch reactions

The way this ep starts with giving us a clear shot focused on the front, solely on Buck sitting between the man he's dating and the man he's been married to for the past six years, and only on them. XD I'm here for it.

Oh, Bobby. :( Feeling unworthy of his medal, and remembering his dad, and how everything went wrong after he got it. </3

Aaaah. Man, IDK. The openly and explicitly homophobic and racist captain cartoon just feels like an easy target now. Prejudice doesn't seem like it mostly gets expressed that way anymore, and when we only teach people to reject that kind, we not only fail to teach them to recognize subtler forms, we may be misleading them to think those more nuanced ones don't count.

Love Athena trying to "save" Bobby by contacting Amir. I'm always a sucker for a couple where they both save each other.

I enjoyed the little play with "Mother Hen," and I know it's not specifically about Buddie, but it is damn funny that when she's told she's raising more kids, they're the ones the camera focuses on. lol Raising a kid together for 6 years, still a couple of morons in desperate need of parenting from their colleagues. Even when Bobby's "wordless goodbye" moment with Buck is letting him cook for the 118, Eddie's by his side and they're doing it together. I swear, 911 said, "Take note, this is what a marriage looks like" and then just kept hammering the point for 6 seasons now.

Okay, I am pretty sure that, while Bobby's acceptance of Buck's first relationship with a guy, is really lovely, "Because we haven't had to talk about it" is not an actual good criterion for discerning whether someone is good for their partner or not. People whose spouses are abusive don't talk about it, either. :/ I am NOT saying that's Buck and Tommy, because it obviously isn't, it just feels like a line thrown in there to be cutesy, but which isn't actually helpful to people, who might take it too seriously.

I AM GONNA LOL FOREVER. So, just like Buck's bi awakening was all about Eddie, now Eddie's messed up whatever he has with Kim is gonna involve Buck, too? Gotcha. Battlefield boyfriends being off-battlefield boyfriends once more.

So... Buck was going to see Tommy, in an ep where TPTB have already paid for Lou in the role, so might as well use him as much as possible, but instead a non-emergency run in with Eddie's current whatever-Kim-is makes Buck ditch Tommy, and run straight over to Eddie's to help him? Look, I'm obviously a One True Pairing kind of shipper, so Buddie are it for me, as much as I can enjoy and see the value of Buck and Tommy as a stepping stone, and nothing will make me stop shipping Buddie (especially not after the tsunami eps), but 911 is feeding me way too well with how it frames these scenes and stories, I don't think the show's trying to get me to stop.

Man, if anyone's ever had a doubt that Eddie is the world champion at denial, this kitchen scene will def cure that.

"I'm worried about you." "Yeah, I'm worried about me, too." And then Buck, the one person who can ALWAYS penetrate through Eddie's denial wall, no matter how thick it is.

Eh, IDK how much the part where they try to re-define Shannon as the love of Eddie's life works, or how much it just serves to show he's still in denial, just a different kind than before, when Buck got through to him that he can't go on like this with Kim. For one thing, in his little retelling of their dysfunctional r/s, Eddie doesn't mention that Shannon was leaving him a second time, even before she died. Literal denial and repression.

So I'm gonna choose to believe Hen and Karen will get Mara back, because I can't deal with that particular storyline otherwise.

Kim's reaction is too deranged for me. Who does something like that, even if we assume the kindest of intentions? And then Marisol and Christopher's timing... I didn't sign on to watch a soap opera, but I guess I'm getting one free of charge?

"Now you gotta save yourself." If that ain't a painful summary of what growing up means, IDK what is. the conversation with Bobby's dad in his sleep was a good, painful scene, built right, leading to him hopefully getting his closure through saving his wife from a fire, and leaving us with just the right amount of suspension for next week and the season finale, where we'll see if he can let go of his past mistakes without a doppelganger dressing up like his dead wife...

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[meow-town]

Dee x Fem! Very Girly! Reader

Requested by @grape-flavored-lipgloss !! Took me a while because I wanted to mass-post a bunch of requests, but I really hope you enjoy this! (Pretty long because I adore this idea and went a little bit off of the rails)

Summary : Dee with very girly s/o who wears a lot of pink. The Shvagenbagens don’t necessarily like her at first but she gets them to warm up to her.

-You definitely weren’t the person he expected to fall for. He expected to start liking someone with his style, his taste in music, similar interests. Someone like Lif, to be honest.

-Obviously, you weren’t the person he’d want to date the least. Diana easily takes that spot.

-He recognized your sweetness, and how kind you were. You knew how to dress, and you obvious took care of yourself.

-The science fair was coming up, and teams were assigned for projects. His teacher forgot to sort him into a team, and when they found out, they were both pissed.

-The teacher, cause Dee hadn’t told him anything. And Dee, because now he couldn’t work alone like he wanted to. (Not me basing this off of my dee x reader story)

-Anyways, he got paired up with you and some other kid who didn’t do jack shit to contribute to the project.

-You we’re constantly nice and kind, and never got very aggressive with the other student, despite his laziness. You would give great ideas, constantly be giving words of encouragement to Dee when going through experiments, offer to hold equipment, etc, etc…

-You were a team, which means you all shared a group chat, which means he had your number. (Thankfully he already had it before he started crushing, otherwise he never would’ve worked up the courage to ask you for it).

-Because Dee’s petty as hell, he put credits in the science project so the teacher would know that you and him were the only ones who did work. He deleted the group chat, as well.

-After that, you spent the rest of the science fair with each other. People would crowd around your project stand, amazed. Because, lets be real, it’s Dee. He would explain how it worked, and you shared the thought process behind it.  -After that, he invited you to a drink at the vending machines, his treat. What a gentleman.

-You two had a conversation over fizzy sodas (or something else, if you don’t like those) and mostly complained about peers or teachers you hated. It brought you together, to say the least.

-He began to text you more, talk to you more and even choose to spend time with you over Lif! Lif!

-mf didn’t even notice he was crushing on you. He was just looking at you during lunch and it clicked.

-Dee’s internal monologue:

‘Are those new earrings? They look great. I should buy some jewelry for her, I know she likes that one brand. They match perfectly with her makeup. … She looks pretty in that makeup. …Prettier than… anyone else.  …

I don’t like her, thought. That’d be weird. She’s just my friend…. A very good friend….A very sweet friend who I can rely on… A very kind friend who just so happens to be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, sweet little thing. I don’t like  her though, soft as her hair might look and as badly I might want to run my hands through it. Caring as she may be. I don’t like (f/n).

….

HOLY FUCK I LIKE (F/N)’

-The man was too stunned to speak 😦

-When I tell you he turned his head away SO FAST

-His face and neck were as red as a fire truck, and he was starting to sweat bullets.

-He choked on his food.

“Dee? Are you ok?”

-Can’t even face you. His coughing fit was interrupted by small, broken syllables.

“YE *COUGH* YEAH, IM *COUGH* FINE. DONT *COUGH,COUGH* WORRY”

-He went a whole other level of flustered when you started to pat his back. Heart beating at a thousand miles per hour. Palms growing sweatier.

-He couldn’t look at you for a straight WEEK. He avoided you everywhere he went, otherwise the whole blushy routine would start all over again. A part of him wanted to be by your side at all times though, so it was hard for him.

-When he started to hang out with you again, he had to mentally prepare himself for it. Just imagine Dee shouting to himself while he did his makeup every morning.

“Okay, Dee! You will go out there and you will be charming! And handsome! And she will fall for you!”

 -Heavy doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he can hear him from his room.

-Heavy already knew you from around school, and wasn’t judgmental of your style or friendship with Dee whatsoever! He though you looked very pretty, too!

-And back onto that, he gave away his brother.

-You were chatting, waiting for Dee to leave his final period. And out of the blue, Heavy went :

“Yeah, he was planning how to ask you out for months now! Never gets it right either.”

“He what?”

“Wait, he hasn’t told you yet?”

“Noooooo..?”

…

-Of course, you kind of figured and told him you also liked him. He’s really obvious. But the second Dee heard his brother had told you he liked you, he was seconds away from choking Heavy the way he did in the 2nd episode.

-He was really grateful once you reciprocated though.

-He asked for a kiss so shyly, too.

-His hands trembled as they cupped your cheeks 💓💥

-Meeting the folks was… interesting -Glam was very polite, he just didn’t expect a person so different from his son would win over his heart. -And I love Victoria, but she was straight up judgemental 😭

-She’s had a bad experience with girly girls, so she’s initially quite defensive. Thankfully, once you’re gone, the kids confront her about it.

“Ma, what is your problem with (f/n)?”

“Yeah! You keep giving her the stink-eye! She’s nice!”

-She gets super nervous and over sensitive. Glam knows about her past problems with girly girls and talks her through it. She’s on much better terms the next time you meet :)

-It gets awkward with the parents, but once you’ve proven to them you won’t hurt their son and that you’re very sweet, they treat you as a child of their own.

-Ches just full-on didn’t believe you were dating. You passed by his shop with Dee and Heavy and he cackled when Heavy told him you were dating. Once things got cleared up, he was very supportive although surprised.”

“Wow, you actually got a girlfriend. And here I thought you were going to be one of those guys who stays a virgin until 40…”

“UNCLE CHES-”

-Lif through your dynamic was super cute and she drew you two together! (Also she’s very glad Dee likes you because she was scared of rejecting the guy)

[hoardingpuffin]

SkyBound SMP Characters as Fewjar Songs

Because I have an agenda and the agenda is getting more people to listen to Fewjar. The fandom are like 20 people we need more.

Vast - Lateniteaha

God, I still have so many questions

I'd be dead by now

But I wanna find out

What only the dead know

Especially now as Vast is figuring out what the Avicane actually are and is figuring out who to be after learning that information, they simply have Lateniteaha vibes to me.

Rune - Cepheus

How did I end up here, stone bound?

All I feel ist the striking distance to the clouds

My flesh is fettered on the skin of the soil

But even so I almost reach the sparks in the void

There is a theme in Cepheus of desperation and being stuck in a place, which reminds me of Rune, especially considering how he seems to view themselves and considering the crumbs of backstory we've gotten so far.

Sylph - Go For It!

Something we put together

From pieces we found

Of a broken jar spread on the floor

It's not whole again

Can't be filled up to the top

Yet a beauty lies inside the pain

Sylph to me seems like the type of character that looks at like, a broken apart piece of furniture or clothing and goes "I can fix that up" and then with the help of hot glue and sparkly tape and some neon paint they actually do fix it up and yeah, sure, it's not perfect and it's not without scars but it's something new and beautiful and crazy. In the best way. Best type of character in my eyes.

Taliesin - Yesterday's Eve

But everything is at a turning point

Light is coming in

Raised dust's telling the story

Again, and again, and again

Yesterday's Eve has this theme of passing through, of change and uncertainess that seems to fit with what we've gotten to see of Taliesin so far. We'll see if my opinion changes as we see the flamingo more.

Marcel - Treasure

Pale hands

Nothing to get so serious about but

Let us be honest

In peculiar moments of

Never never letting go the sum of my parts

Over and over again

I will admit that the lyrics of Treasure don't match up with Marcel, at least not 100%, but something in the vibe of the sound and the music video makes me think of him so there.

Armor - Gemini

Exposing scars

What have we done?

Composing lifelines always won

Don't you know where we came from

Where all began?

In all honesty, we literally had one stream with Armor so this is based on vibes and vibes only.

Pietro - Lo

Searching for a deeper sense

In a pile of vowels and consonants

In a pleasant appearance

A Sisyphus- mountain to ascend

Pietro gets one of my favourites and my favourite Fewjar music video! I can't 100% pinpoint why, but something between the sunlight/dawn aesthetic of the video and the almost pleading nature of the chorus make me thing of Pietro and her relationship with his brother.

Virgil - Skeleton

So hold on to me

Although our way won't be

a safe terrain

Oh hollow me

Tell me would you hold on

To a skeleton?

I will be so honest, Skeleton is less Virgil-specific and more it reminds me of both Virgil's relationships with Pietro and Giovanni. The themes of burying yourself in work or a cause even to the extent of ignoring ones own safety that rings through Skeleton - yeah.

Avalon - Chalkbird

Crystal sparrow come with me

Cause I recognized

That you, just like me

Don't belong to this place

Pinning a song for Ava was hard as hell but Chalkbird makes me think of her and Rune and their relationship so tadaaaa.

Gaverin - A Bleakbox of Insights

Irrelevance is my playground

And loneliness is my hometown

Covered in dust lies

A conspiracy

When you listen to Bleakbox at first you might say "That's not at all Gaverin" and to that I say: "I see your point but rewatch the bits where Gaverin talks about their family and read between the lines because that's what I did and that's how I ended up with Bleakbox" /lh

Cosie - We Wonder

We got time

So much time

And we wonder

We wonder, we wonder

If everything's on hold

Why don't we hold each other?

This is mostly based on the vibes Cosie gives off to me? Not 100% sure if the song fits lyric-wise but the vibe itself seems right to me.

Erin - Levitation

I didn't pick Levitation because of the lyrics, but because of the sound of the song itself. To me, Levitation sounds like a mix of lonely, whistful and comforting and those vibes to me seem like they can align with Erin.

Ashril - Despite This

I'll be filling my ears with some fire crackle

So you can't call me

Sky is covered by crowns, your smoke signals

They won't reach me

I cannot be convinced that Ash isn't running from something. Thus, Despite This.

[turcott3]

worst behavior

cole sillinger x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, arguing, smut: oral fem receiving, unprotected sex, hair pulling, overstimulation, slightest tiniest bit of fluff

positions fics masterlist

~this ain’t no game, won’t play with you. this time i know ill stay with you~

-

your eyes fluttered open to a room filled with sunlight. you stretched out and rolled over, running into something. you finally process what’s going on and look around the room, not recognizing a single piece of it.

“where am i?” you whisper, looking at the body next to you. an ohio state hockey player who’s name you vaguely recalled, but that didn’t matter because someone definitely saw you leave with him.

fuck.

“hmm.” you hear the boy groan next to you.

“good morning.” you say scooting away from him.

“morning beautiful.” he says opening his eyes and smiling at you, your heart almost fluttering at those words. cole never uttered them to you.

“sleep good?” you ask as he leans up on his elbow.

“i did, last night was incredible.” he says kissing you on the cheek. that’s when it all came flooding back. his gentlemanly gestures roped you in. he opened the car door for you, he was sweet, overall seemed like someone you’d actually want to be with. until you remembered that you had never betrayed your….. whatever it was, to cole.

“i’m gonna get a shower, you can stay here or raid the kitchen. my home is yours.” he says smiling at you.once the bathroom door shuts, you scramble to collect your clothes, putting them on, grabbing your phone, and sneaking out the door as quickly as possible. you had been fucking cole for a few months now and would never dare to betray your loyalty to him. he was like a drug to you, and you were addicted. not that he could say the same for you as much as you wished he would. you had no car and didn’t know where you were, but you couldn’t call cole, so you chose the next best option. adam.

“hello?”

“yes hey adam, so it’s a long story but can i send you my location? i don’t know where i am and i have no transportation.”

“yeah of course i can. are you okay?”

“yeah i just have a bad feeling that someone is gonna know about what happened and i really wanna just pretend it never happened. i’ll tell you in the car.”

“y/n it’s gonna be fine, don’t worry. send me your location and i’ll be there.”

“sent. thank you so much adam, seriously.”

“no problem, i don’t want you to get kidnapped or anything.” he laughs.

“thank you, bye adam.”

“bye.” he says and you hang up. what were you going to tell cole? you check and see only one missed call and two texts from him. everyday you hoped he would grow more desperate for your attention, but the day still never came. once adam arrived at your location, you get into his car and buckle without a word.

“so what happened?” he says putting the car back into drive and pulling off.

“i went to a party last night,”

“like the one some of the guys and i went to?”

“yes that one, and i guess i got drunk and came back with a fucking ohio state hockey player, but he was so sweet and nice and gentlemanly.”

“ohio state really?” adam asks.

“adam, that’s what you’re concerned about?” you say smacking him on the arm.

“hey that’s serious dude,”

“that is the least of my worries right now. what if cole finds out? someone had to have seen me leave with him.”

“has he called you?”

“yeah.”

“when?”

“like 2 hours ago.”

“he knows.” he simply states.

“i mean maybe he doesn’t.”

“check your voicemail.” he says going silent, you listened in and he didn’t go into specifics but he seemed angry.

“well shit, i’ll go see him tomorrow,” you say

“probably a good idea.” he replies, the rest of the drive was mostly silent. how were you supposed to make an excuse for this?

-

the next day came and you were terrified. once you arrive at his house, you step up to the door but before your knuckles could hit the wooden surface, it opens.

“look who finally decided to show up.” he says stepping out of the way so you could walk inside.

“look cole i-“

“i don’t wanna hear it.”

“what do you mean?”

“an excuse, so you’re gonna tell me what the fuck happened the other night.”

“well i-“

“spit it out.” he says stepping closer.

“why do you care so much?” you ask.

“just answer the fucking question.”

“fine. that night, i got drunk at the party, you would know bc you were there. you had girls surrounding you, this lovely guy came up to me. he was super sweet and respectful so i went home with him.”

“oh so you’re fucking him now too?”

“well i obviously haven’t gone back to him, nor do i have his number. is that what you want to hear?”

“no.”

“take me on a date, just once, and i’ll forget i even looked in his direction.” you begged. you didn’t want your time with cole to end. you never wanted it to if you could help it.

“i want you forget he ever even fucking existed y/n.”

“just take me out one time cole.” you beg, and his stance doesn’t change.

“did he fuck you good?” he says smirking, changing the topic.

“well it was okay, he was very sweet though. i love that in a guy, just pure sweetness.”

“so he didn’t fuck you like i do?”

“maybe he did.” you shrug, knowing it was a flat out lie.

“oh really?” he scoffs, grazing his hands around your waist, facing inching closer to yours.

“he could never come close to what i give you.” he says lowly, connecting your lips. instantly, you cave at his touch. your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. he bites your lip as he pulls away looking into your eyes. he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carries you to his room, shutting the door and locking it behind him. he tosses you on the bed, immediately pulling your shirt off over your head and throwing it as he does the same.

“i just really like when a guy is sweet, you don’t understand that?” you say interrupting the tangible silence in the room.

“no i do.”

“sure doesn’t seem like it.”

“well maybe i can be sweet.” he retorts.

“ha sure you can.” you scoff as he walks over to the bad, towering over you.

“you just don’t get to find out right now.” he smirks, crawling onto the bed and attaching his lips to your neck, nipping and sucking at the skin. your hands find their way into his hair, tugging on hit lightly as you grew more and more anxious for him to get the ball rolling. he unclasped your bra with one hand and helps you out of it, tossing it across the room. he hooks his fingers under the bands of your underwear and he slides them down you legs quickly before removing his own underwear.

“you want me to fuck you baby?”

“yes, please cole.” you say practically in a whisper as he bends down, his tongue making contact with your dripping core. his tongue working in circles on your clit, his sheets now clenched in your fists. suddenly sliding two fingers into you, curling them causing your back to arch, a loud moan ripping from your throat, already edging a climax. out of nowhere, he pulls his fingers out backing away from you, sucking your juices off his fingers before crawling over you and kissing you sloppily.

“no please why’d you stop?” you whine.

“just had to get you ready.” he smirks pulling away, running his leaking tip through your soaked folds.

“you gonna be good for me pretty girl?” he asks.

“i am.” you say quietly.

“good.” he smirks before pushing into you without warning, a galaxy forming behind your eyelids, your legs hooking around his hip.

“fuck.” you say gripping onto his arms. his thrusts were deep and hard.

“so good just for me.” he grunts out in broken up speech. you open your eyes and lock contact with his, moaning uncontrollably as he hit the sensitive spongey spot deep inside you with each thrust.

“fuck cole oh my god.” you say, the only words you could possibly muster up. you were overstimulated in the best way, sex with cole was always amazing but he was really outdoing himself this time. he leans down, attaching your lips to his to silence your moans as your climax creeped closer and closer.

“god you’re so fucking hot.” he says locking eyes with you again, before you roll your eyes into the back of your head trying to hold off the orgasm that threatened to rip through your body.

“cole i-“

“do it. come for me.” he says and on queue you see stars, your body relaxing all the tightness it previously felt. he fucked you all the way through your high, thinking that was the end.

“you think we’re done here? i’m not done with you.” he says slowing down and pulling out of you, picking you up and tossing you onto your stomach. you raise yourself up in your hands and knees weakly, knowing exactly what he wanted. he places his calloused hand on your ass, using the other to help push himself into you swollen core.

“fuck.” you scream as his hips slam into you quickly.

“yeah you like that?”

“fuck yes i do.” you say, kicking back into high gear, his hips slamming into your ass, his thick cock somehow hitting deeper than before, stretching you out with each thrust. your arms give out and your chest hits the bed, arching your back to keep your position for him.

“god damn look at you.” he says, the smirk lining his voice. his hand reaches into your hair, gathering it around his hand as he pulls you back up, you arms barely holding your weight as he pulls your back closer to his chest until you’re flush against his front side, his other hand holding you up while his fingers found their way to your clit. you couldn’t conjure any words, your hand found the back of his neck as he grunts sweet nothings into your ear, feeling your orgasm approach once again.

“fuck cole i’m gonna come.” you force out. he lets go of your hair and you fall back onto your arms, your walls clenching around him.

“come for me, come baby.” he says and you do as you’re told once again, your arms shaking as he spills his seed deep into your cervix.

“oh my god.” you say as he pulls out of your overly stimulated core rolling you over, your legs shaking frantically. you’d never been fucked that good a day in your life and you were wishing you could feel it again already.

“so, does he fuck you like i can?” he asks again breathlessly and you shake your head quickly, not being able to speak up.

“use your words baby.” he smirks, climbing over you, his face a mere 4 inches from yours, his hair grazing your forehead lightly.

“he could never.” you say pulling his chain bringing him in for another kiss.

“let’s get you cleaned up.” he says smiling as you pull apart. typically, he says this and wipes you clean with a rag, sending you on your way so you didn’t expect much. he puts his boxers on and walks into the bathroom, soaking a rag with warm water before returning, wiping you clean gently. he tosses the rag into his hamper and hands you your lace thing off the floor and a blue jackets tshirt.

“cole wha-“

“no no, take it seriously.” he says and you take it from him hesitantly, pulling it over your head. careful, he removes your hair from the neck, and brushes it behind your shoulders.

“what’s all this?” you say, shocked that you were even still at his house.

“showing you that i can be sweet.” he smirks, pulling you by the shirt into a sweet kiss.

“i’m usually gone by now.”

“well maybe this time you should stay.”

“are you sure?”

“yeah why not.” he says leaning back on his head board, opening his arms for you to join him. you lay your head on his chest as your arm drapes over his body, his hand gently rubbing up and down your back.

“why have you never let me stay before?” you say looking up at him, breaking the silence.

“i didn’t know what you wanted from me, until today.”

“what do you mean?”

“i thought you just wanted to be around me for sex.” he shrugs, looking down at you.

“well maybe at first but it grew to much more than that. i don’t think i’ve ever regretted anything more than fucking that dude the other night but i mean to be fair i thought all you wanted from me was sex too.”

“it was for a while but feelings change you know.” he laughs slightly.

“so?”

“so what?” he asks obliviously.

“are you gonna take me out?” you say giving the man puppy dog eyes. he rolls his eyes laughing lightly.

“yes y/n, ill take you out.” he giggles, kissing you on the head. it brought you peace knowing that he had feelings for you too, but maybe you should be on your worst behavior more often…..

[knightyoomyoui]

[SMUT] TWICE Jeongyeon x Male Reader - “Double Fantasy”

Another one-shot inspired from the vibe and some bits of the meaning behind the song “Double Fantasy” by The Weeknd ft. Future aside from the sexual part of it as I created my own story instead. Enjoy reading!

WARNING: contains mature content, R+18 smut

It's a crowded and lively atmosphere around your alma maters gymnasium as it currently held the alumni party tonight where your batch in the mechanical engineering course belongs to one of its features.

You've been meeting up some of your friends and acquaintances after having long time no interactions with them. It still surprises you a lot that some of them still recognizes you but in similarity, they all have just one compliment they gave at you: your look entirely changed.

You weren't the same normal skinny, average looking, four-eyed guy that mostly bullies would come for to tease you or for girls to decline your appearance as not suitable for their liking. This time is different, they expressed their impressions on your improved look.

In the present, you seem way more expensive looking, more neatly dressed, more built body with muscles visible now on your body, and last but not least is your new haircut. All of it are just simply perfect to you.

But those aren't belong to your priorities. You didn't brought yourself here to use it on flirting with anyone. This night is for reuniting with anybody else except for this one particular person you had in mind anticipatingly waiting for her arrival.

"How have you been doing all these years man?" Your college friend since your freshman days named Ryan asked after exchanging typical unique gestures at each other.

"Doing great, man. Well, what I can say? We're now standing right here with the one thing that kept us on going before." You answered after you drank a glass of cold pineapple juice.

"Yeah damn right. Feels like we're living with our hands get to do whatever we wanted, don't we?" Ryan agreed.

"Mmhmm. And I already started plenty of what I could think of to repay myself and my family after all the hardwork we've been through. To be honest, I'm still in disbelief that I can walk around and live with the rest of my life carrying my name now with a word "engineer" on it." You said. "Part of me still can't move on that I finally did it."

You chuckled as Ryan smiled at you proudly. He gave you a soft hit to the shoulder. "Don't be, man. Always think that you deserve it. That opportunity was handed to you on a silver platter, and trust me; I did believe you can make it because you're just simply the best out of us."

"Wow." You gave a small laugh. "Thanks for that awe-inspiring words, Engr. Mun. But seriously, I don't want to take all the praise here for myself. You guys did great too."

"You're welcome, Engr. Park." He smirked.

Your conversation went into a halt as both went silent to admire the happenings around you. Batchmates reconciling with their fellow friends and former teachers, laughing and talking about everything great that happened to them in post-graduation, colorful designated place that adds to the energy inside.

Although, your lips slightly shifted into a frown when you realized that the one you've been looking for is still not around. It's been like 25 mins that long since you came here so far.

"You're looking for her, huh."

"Uh-heh what?"

Ryan sniffled a laugh before exhaling refreshingly over his softdrink.

"I haven't seen any sign of her, dude. In fact, she's the only classmate of ours who still aren't in here. She's the only one left in our batch." Ryan clarified.

Your face couldn't help but to show disappointment and sadness a bit more obviously, puffing your cheeks then huffing a huge warm air in a mix of your desperation just to get a glimpse of her for tonight.

"Yeah, I know." You said with a low tone. "I guess she won't come."

"Damn, mate. After all this time?" Ryan asked unbelievably, leaning his head closer at you.

You only nod. Aside from the countless times you and that woman shared nothing but bad blood from one another, you can't deny that there's this side of you that you can't avoid yourself being attracted from her.

There's so many reasons. It was ridiculous and sure, confusing. Why would you even develop a likedness over someone who hates you so much?

"I'm sorry, man. Who knows, maybe you'll see her again soon?"

You shrugged, you don't have any idea of the possibilities. Sure, destiny could led you both again to cross paths someday; but it will always remain the same as usual: you are the only one who'll enjoy seeing her in front of you. It will always be one-sided.

You attempted moving on and letting go your feelings for her, but she couldn't just leave you alone. She's living in the same world as you are, so you get to witness her sometimes in advertisements or even news sites about some of her contributions and works she's done on her own career as an engineer too.

Her face that always include in all of these doesn't help your stage. The more you get to see her, the more you just kept to like having it again.

"I'm not expecting anymore. You know her, she probably completely forgot about us. She don't need to come here because what's for to visit, you know?" You sighed, taking another sip again of your juice.

"I get your point. I remember how she's always the baddest in our class. Everyone hates her for that, and at first though you sincerely are too but..."

"Me too. I never thought it would end up being one of the things that I love about her." You smiled at the recollection of those memories.

"Excuse me for a while. I'll just head to the restroom."

"No worries, take your time mate."

You left the table and made your way to the direction leading to the restroom of the school. Meanwhile, Ryan who was about to grab some plate for a food; has noticed something he was mistaken of something he thought at first would be very unlikely to happen.

"Speaking of the devil." He muttered.

While you're walking, you grabbed your phone as you felt a vibration inside your pocket. You pulled it up and viewed for any notification, only to fail when a force just collided with your body that sent your butt landing into the ground.

You groaned for a second and checked on your phone that is now laying on the hard ground beside you, before you heard a same aching sound mimicking the level of pain you've felt from that.

"Miss, are you okay?" You noticed that it's a woman who is brushing her arm fron the dust sticked onto her skin.

"Aish, that hurts. Who the h-"

She was complaining about the collision before it got interrupted when you tried to approach the lady and in your both astounishment; you recognized each other instantly just by looking at each other's faces.

Your classmate slash rival who graduated Magna Cum Laude and turned out to be a fellow successful licensed engineer like you and the only crush you had in college named Yoo Jeongyeon... is in front of you.

Your eyes widened as well as hers, surprised that you did got to finally see her even though you almost give up searching and waiting for her to arrive. Jeongyeon on the other hand, didn't expected your immediate contact with you... which rather resulted from a little accident.

But oh well, she still hates you... and everything you do unpleases her which means everything is a big deal when it comes exclusively about you.

"J-jeongyeon?!"

"Y-YN?!"

Both spoke each other's names, befuddled.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't n-" You were about to offer your hand from assistance but Jeongyeon slaps it away.

"Get that off from me. I don't need your help." She slowly stood up from the ground on her own instead.

You just observed that she looks undeniably goegous and hot tonight, wearing a black sleeveless dress with her laced coiled around her shoulder exposed, her skirt that highlight those long, smooth legs covered in black stockings that only had her thick thighs remained left alone. Those average height heels tops it all off for her footwear.

"Look at how perverted you are, staring at me like I am a food for you to devour." Your senses got resnapped when Jeongyeon smashed you with her Louis Vuitton shoulder bag as she caught your stare.

"Ouch! I-I'm not thinking like that okay?!"

"You never changed, you sick freak! Ugh, until now you still disgust me." Jeongyeon acted horribly at the sight of you receiving a guilt trip from her, but you have no idea that Jeongyeon was thinking otherwise.

You look great... hell, fabulous or whatever words she can come up to maximize that description and equal the level of how eye-capturing your apperance.

Back at college, she could only tell you secretly after unleashing wrath over whatever you do that you are handsome, cute or leave a positive comment at some of the things she noticed that makes her heart swell atleast.

To be fair, Jeongyeon is just the same as you. She always liked you and probably always will be. Her grumpyness and cold-hearted personality was natural at first until it turns out to be just a strategy of her to prevent herself being too obvious that she was slowly developing feelings from her whenever she observes that your personality opposites from her.

Those smile, those cute tired and irritated expressions you create, everything you do whenever she puts up an act in front of you always gives a overwhelming effect deep inside of her.

She wish she could tell you, how much she wanted to claim you right away and make her yours especially that nobody seems to have an interest on you before; but only if you understand how much she finds it difficult to do so too.

And now that she's looking in your eyes again personally for the first time after 2 years, she can tell that it will be more challenging for her as times progresses further. Any girls out there can fell in love with this new version of you, and her regret and anger to blame not only to herself but to someone else for holding back consumes her more that she couldn't have done it sooner before your roads went apart to pursue your dreams seperately for 2 years.

"Wait, can you just calm down first Jeong?" You tried to pacify her but she only returns an even more aggressive remark.

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN YOU JUST BUMPED INTO ME, NEARLY RUINED MY CLOTHES, HAD MY ARMS DIRTY WHEN I JUST GOT SHOWERED AND... AGGHHH WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE YOU AGAIN?!"

"Okay okay! I deeply apologize for what I did. It's entirely my fault that I was not focusing on my way that's why I didn't noticed you." You calmly said, in order to keep things low as it should be and stop the chances of ruining her night or... both of you if this still goes on.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes and swaying her short bobbed cut length hair behind her ear. "That's because you're stupid. That's what you always are, anyway. Like I said, you never changed... just like how per-"

"Goddamnit, if only you let me finish what I was about to say about that." Your voice sharpened, Jeongyeon observed that you are now building up your own frustration and irritation brought by her demeanor. She shivered a bit, her mouth agaped at the tiny grunt that blended with your voice.

Completely serious and unimpressed, not allowing her to call you that for false accusations or even a joke because you're not even went here to play around especially when you just met her again tonight.

"T-then what is it?! I can see it right through you, don't you dare lie with me YN!"

"I was not thinking at you that way because I WAS MORE FOCUSED AT HOW PERFECT YOU LOOK IN YOUR OUTFIT!" You succeededly raised your volume at the end. Jeongyeon heard that loud and clear, which caused her to blush hardly at your sudden compliment.

"W-what did you say?" She fakely asked.

"I said... I-You look beautiful, Jeongyeon. That's what it caught my attention." You tilted your head away from her, too embarassed and nervous at the same time that you had to repeat saying it to her while concerning at how it would make you seem different because of those words you chose.

She smirked, you heard her footsteps as she goes near at you. You shuddered when she is now standing inches away at you.

"Aww, what is that? Are you trying to hit on me now, YN?" Jeongyeon suspiciously asked in a mocking tone.

She can see how you looked tensed near her and quickly wondered that it was the words you told her that made you like that. Your shyness made her decide to atleast play a little game with you. She missed doing teasing and belittling you like this since college.

"Good thing that I'll allow that, you had to remind but I know it's true..." Jeongyeon said nonchalantly. She pushed her head closer beside your head, lips almost in your ear. "Especially, when it's coming from a handsome man like you, YN." she blew a soft warm breath that gave you a legitimate goosebumps.

You gulped, not even quite sure if you heard or perceived it exactly. Did she meant saying that to you? This Jeongyeon was very weird if that so, you thought. She never heard any praise coming from her because in your side, you believed that from her pespective you are just nothing but a second rate, greedy, unattractive and fake student to her.

"Alright, step aside idiot. I'm already late because of that stupid traffic. I ain't going to waste more time talking to you." She pushed you aside as you watched her walked away from you while having her reddened face and tightlipped smile all over her lips because of what she received from you and did in return.

An hour and a half later, you noticed that Jeongyeon was just sitting alone in her table, playing around with her fork stabbed in a sliced cake that she's eating unappetizingly. You felt bad that out of everyone around in the gymnasium, she is the only one alone and looked completely unamused.

You know that she hates you, but this admirer side of you is giving you the urge to console her and initiate a plan to somehow help her because you can't just stand seeing her like this when tonight doesn't intend to make not a single attendee to be left alone.

"Hey." You called her as you reached her table.

"What do you want?" She glared, her grip on the fork tightened.

"Why aren't you hanging out with the rest of them?"

"I don't feel like it. I got bored already." She exhaustedly said.

"Cmon, Jeong. The night is still young. The party is still ongoing. You can't just stay there like that."

"No need. I changed my mind. I'm about to leave now."

She slowly stood in her seat and grabbed her bag. Your hesitation and unapproval of her choice encourages you further to stop her.

"Wait, Jeong! Are you serious, it's too early?"

"What am I going to do here? Sit here and do nothing?" She looked at you and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Y-you're not. I was about to ask you if I could somehow... join your side tonight." You said to her. She just stared at you in silence. "I don't want you to leave because I... I-I want you see you more, even just for tonight. I know you hate me, but can you just forget about it all for tonight and have fun with me, please?"

Her heartbeat intensified, her uplifted emotions filling up her insides, blood rushing fast as it forms another enormous blush both in her cheeks. She was truly touched and delighted at your pleads.

She loves the idea of that invitation. This is the opportunity right here. It's all free, it's just you and her tonight, they are not around for Jeongyeon to be stopped. This time, she's not going to reject or decline you by forcing herself on you.

"You want to join me?" You nodded. "Good. Then let's get out of here together." It took you aback seconds later that she's now pulling your wrist to drag you with her outside of the campus and throw you in the car.

"Mr. Boo, drive us home please."

"Noted, madame. Greetings to you, sir." The middle aged man complied. He sat in the drivers seat and took control of the wheel as he began to drive ahead to the destination.

"J-jeongyeon?! What is this, why are-"

"Shut up. Be quiet or else I might change my mind and throw you out here instantly while we're on the road."

You got terrified at Jeongyeon's intimidating aura and dangerous warning. You don't want to mess with this seriousness of her, so you listened and watched the view of the streets in Seoul being passed until both of you finally reached her own place.

"Thanks, Mr. Boo. You can rest now for today."

"Thank you, Miss Yoo. Have a good night to both of you." He bowed and went to his room.

"Oh we're definitely are." She whispered, devilishly smirking inside her head. "And you, follow me."

You just trailed with her from behind, still confused why did she have to bring you all the way in her house. She was never like this, was her boredness that intense for her to switch like this that you never imagined she can be doing this to you being taken into her own place.

You two went upstairs, Jeongyeon faced a door of this one room she picked. "Jeongyeon, why do you want me to be-"

"Get in." She opened the door and pushed you inside. Witnessing the interior of the room, you predicted that this had to be owned by a woman because of all the things that can only be owned by-

That's where you paused analyzing the situation you are in. You weren't mistaken that room you are stepping in is definitely owned by Jeongyeon herself. Your curiosity grew as to why did she have to even put you along with her in her private space.

As soon as she locked the door, she pulled your coat and rotated your body around, pushing you to the wall and cornering you in her arms.

"J-jeongyeon?! What are you doing?!"

"You wanted to fun with me, right? Here we are. I was thinking of something we can enjoy the night by just... being alone together."

Her expression had gone completely turned into a sultry and alluring type. She caressed your chest before tugging your necktie.

"I want you. Now."

She tugged your necktie and pulled your head closer at hers, crashing your lips into a messy duel of kiss, brushing and swirling your tongues at one another.

You always find her so enticing, attractive and charming before, and you never thought that this introduction of her new side to you would turn you on right away.

Not wanting to be left behind, you informed her that it's not only her who's also keeping this hungry and needy side, so you decided to join her flow by being the one to take control of her this time.

You seperated from the kiss and spun her around, switching your positions. She is the one who is now trapped in your guard, your hands gripping her shoulders tightly. "You really want this, Jeongyeon?"

"Yes! Please, you can have your way in on me this time. Whatever you want, I'll be the one who'll get low on you. Just please... fuck me! Make me yours!" She begged, squeezing her thighs together at the increasing arousal she's feeling.

"Be grateful that I need you too. Now get off your knees and show me how much you want this."

You pressed your hand to the top of head to help her lower down herself. She meets the level of your crotch as she slowly unbuckles your belt while you helped her strip down your pants and have it left crumpled in your ankle.

She removes your boxers that held confine on your 8-inch cock that sprung out close enough for Jeongyeon to be shocked and salivated at its enormous and delectable size.

Holding your cock with her firm hand, she gave it a little squeeze to feel the softness of your meat before she began stroking your length from the base.

"I didn't knew you were so big, YN." she bit her lips as she continued pumping your shaft as she combined it this time with her thumb circling your tip, giving you a tickling yet satisfying feeling. "Perhaps I belittled you too harshly."

"Yeah you did, now suck that cock for me and show me how accountable you are."

She directed your tip to her exposed tongue, performing a lick to its slip before rotating around your penis' mushroom head and gently pushing your cock slowly into her mouth where she began blowing your cock.

The sounds of her slurps and hums echoed in the room. Vibrations thats she create for those lustful noises passes on to your dick that is stuffed to her mouth which adds to the pleasure and drives you more insane.

Her sight of her hungrily tracing and wetting your shaft with her slick tongue, not wanting a spot uncovered makes you crave more and more of her service. As soon as you felt her head bobbing faster, you matched her pace as you moved your hips back and forth to fuck her mouth relentlessly.

Holding her head to push further, that was enough for Jeongyeon to experience a deepthroat of your payment. "Fuck yeah Jeongyeon keep going. God, such now I know you're such a great cocksucker don't you." You said with chorus of relaxed breaths streaming out of your mouth as you kept on pushing forward as you are now holding her head as your handle to support her.

She removes your cock to her mouth and looked at you intensely while she began to turn her attention now on your hanging full testicles, massaging it by wiggling it using her fingers. "I will always be like that only for you, master."

Master? Did she just called you that?

A bright light twinkled in your head as you finally had an idea. She has now fully presented you her submissive side, so why don't you just love being the dominant and show her how rightful and deserving is the one she's serving for this kind of gift.

"Oh, so I'm your master now huh." You cupped her chin and raised it to point her sight at your towering figure. "That makes you my slave, do you want to be like that for me?"

"Yes! It would be an honor to be your slave, master. Especially to be the one who can get access of your huge cock."

You forcefully opened her mouth and inserted your length again on her as you rapidly had her engulf it over and over. "Then freaking take it, slave. I'm close on cumming, and I want you to swallow every drop of it do you understand?!"

"Mmmhhmphhh mmmphhh!" She just furiously nodded as a gesture of her initiation. Mixture of drops of her saliva and your pre-cum were now tapping the tiles of her bedroom.

Three more strokes to go and you unleashed quite a loud roar as you fired streaks of your natural white fluid into her available mouth. "OHHH... OHHH YES YES THAT'S IT SLAVE. QUENCH YOUR THIRST WITH MY CUM."

You pulled back and slipped your cock out of her mouth, allowing her to gasp, cough and exhale freely from all the air that were restricted by your hardened wood that pre-occupied her.

"Show me." You tugged her hair upwards and silently instructed her to open her mouth which she did. Impressively, no traces of your cum were found.

"Damn, YN... when did you had this side of yours." Jeongyeon chuckled as she stood to face you, breaking the roleplay for a while.

"I don't know, I should be asking the same as you." You shrugged, combing her short hair from behind.

"Have you always craved to have a moment like this, hmm?"

"Maybe. I couldn't tell, but I'm sure I was looking forward more on my feelings I've been keeping in store you since our college days."

Jeongyeon blinked faster as she tried to comprehend what did you just told her. She was about to ask you if that means exactly what she's thinking, but you were so eager to return back to your session and knowing she is willing to join you tonight since she's the one who wanted this, she went back to submit for you rather; setting aside that question for later.

"Enough talking. Let's get this done with."

She yelped as you spinned her body around, taking off her sleeveless upper garment and throwing it aside, revealing her lace clad black bra that is almost doing a good job holding her breasts together.

This is the first time you had to have a closer look of these beautiful pair of mounds of hers. You recalled that you can't avoid before having a glimpse of some sneak peeks of the outline of her boobs due to the tightness of her uniform she picks to wear sometimes.

This is a once in a lifetime moment, so you got into the work quickly as you let her watch you grab her covered breasts, kneading and squeezing it like a dough to your hands. So soft, so bouncy. You heard her moan from your touch before you shut it with your mouth as you kissed her again.

Taking off your hands for a while, earning a slight disapproval from Jeongyeon but she kept it discreet as she discovered where you're heading next.

Raising the hem of her skirt, you kneeled and viewed the line of her black underwear tracing the curvy gap of her handful ass.

Unbuttoning the skirt, you removed it and threw it aside too, joining her unfolded dress to the floor which she was wearing earlier.

Her full view of her body wearing nothing but a set of dark lingerie and some long stockings trailing her long legs and squishing a bit of her fat thighs makes you suffer from the intense horniness you're containing inside of you.

"Holy shit, you look so fuckable Jeongyeon." you muttered as you travelled your eyes around at her.

You stood up, removing your clothes; revealing your jam-packed abs and muscles that made Jeongyeon whimper and bit her lip in hungriness at how mouth watering your jacked body is.

She kissed you again, this time in a passionate style. You grasped her ass and roughly squeezed it before lifting her up and throwing her at the bed.

"I can't help it anymore, master wants to taste you so bad."

"Yes please, I'm begging for you master. Eat me! Indulge my body!"

You grunted at how sexy and seducive Jeongyeon sounded with that. Hooking the bands of her panties, you removed it out of her legs, her prized possession now visible clearly in your eyes.

Spreading her thighs apart, you crawled as you teased her leaking slit for a little, toying the needy and defeated crush of yours before you proceeded to give her what she's anticipating, a long deep licks of your tongue to her velvety walls.

Jeongyeon escapes a long moan at your warm touch, holding and enjoying the feeling of your active buds capturing the sweet tangy feeling of her fluid.

"Oohhh ahhh.... oh yes yes master that's it! My pussy, mmpph suck on those harder! God, I'M CLOSE!"

You want that incoming orgasm of hers to arrive as soon as possible, so you combined your actions with a hyper movement of your fingers, clawing deep beneath her begging hole as you furiously pecked and rubbed her taut clit and her slit until she finally went over the limit.

"I'M CUMMING!!!!"

Sprays of her juice aimed at your awaiting mouth and face, contributing a wet mess that you didn't mind at all. You were just gonna clean that up by drinking as much of it as you can.

You retreated between her thighs before going back only for a different position, kneeling at her thighs with your dick playing with her pussy as you dragged it along to her slit.

"Don't play with me master, give it t-"

You slapped her thigh, causing her to get interrupted. "DON'T RUSH YOUR MASTER! WHO HAS THE CONTROL HERE?"

"I-It's YOU! It's you, master. I'n sorry if I was-"

"Shut up, you want this so badly right? I'll give it to you."

You quickly drilled her pussy with your throbbing shaft without any more build up, her body convulating as she lets out screams and moans from the intensity of your banging into her body.

Splitting her legs apart as much as how flexible they can get, you retrieved it back to your shoulders and leaned closer where you can give Jeongyeon a kiss while her knees are now touching her shoulders as you kept on pounding her roughly.

"FUCKING TAKE IT YOU SLUT! YOU DON'T MIND ME CALLING YOU THAT HUH? I BET YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT ME FUCKING YOU WHOLE NIGHT THAT'S WHY YOU BROUGHT ME HERE. THAT MEANS YOU CAN ENDURE THIS AS LONGER AS I WANT RIGHT?!" You wrapped your hands around her neck as you gave weight into it to slowly choke her during the aggressive fucking.

"YES MASTER!!! OH GOD SO ROUGH!!! YOU'RE MAKING ME SO FULL! UGHHH" She said with a croaky voice as she grasped your arms giving support for your hands blocking her airways.

"SAY IT! TELL ME YOU'RE MY SLUT. I WANT TO HEAR IT FROM YOU."

"I-I'M... OH GOD YES! YES! I'M JUST NOTHING BUT A SLAVE AN A COCKSLUT BY MY MASTER! I'M HIS RIVAL CLASSMATE BEFORE WHO SECRETLY LUSTS AND THINKS ABOUT HOW HARD OF A FUCKING HE CAN GIVE ME..."

"AND WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT YOUR MASTER FULFILLING YOUR WISHES NOW, HUH?" You asked with an animalistic grunt.

"HE REALLY DOES! GOD, I LOVE YOUR COCK SO MUCH MASTER! MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT I WANTED!"

"Good to know." You demonically grinned at her response. Unclipping the cups of her bra, you released her swinging ample breasts and sucked those aroused nipples that added to the shockwaves of the pleasure she's feeling.

"Roll around!" You authoritatively told her. She followed, her back figure are the one that is now presented to you. That bomb of an ass she got for you had you the urge to slap it repeatedly, making her whimper and moan at every reddened handprint you left.

To get her ready, you buried your face on the valley of her cake, tonguing her asshole to make it wet so it can be easily accessible and prevent her from hurting too much. You knew this is her first time just like you and despite you are the one dominating the sex, ofcourse you are still concerned for the safety of your lover.

After giving a practical lube to her hole, you aligned your shaft at it. "Are you ready?"

"Y-yes. Just please... be gentle at first. I'm quite nervous." She said. Her soft tone made you smile. That was completely without any participation of your heated sensation with her, that was simply her expecting her trust to be given by you to not hurt her on this one.

"Don't worry, you can count on me Jeong. We can stop if you feel so." You patted her asscheek as you gently drove your length on her now gaped hole.

You saw her fist curling, probably from the pain. Getting more concerned, your instinct guessed for you the stop for a while and let her sink in the feeling. Fortunately, you were right and she was blushing at how understanding you are as always.

Few seconds later, she gave you to goal signal with a trusting nod. "Go deeper, YN." You listened, fully injecting your cock into the insides of her ass.

"Jeongyeon, you're gripping me so tight!"

"Keep going, master! Make me feel good again!"

It was like a switch she turned on. You shifted back to your beastly side, slowly making your pounds and thrusts in an increasing speed with the help of the force and strength you're pouring into it.

Holding her lips like a handle as you fucked her on her hands and knees, you decided to relocate into the undersides of her arms as you looped it around and locked it, pulling her upright and fuck her senseless in a full nelson grip.

"What now, Jeongyeon? It doesn't hurt anymore, so you're desperately want me to fuck again so bad I may have to bury my cock balls deep in your ass until we sleep." You said straight to her lips as she kept on fidgeting on her hold while she gets ruthlessly being pounded from behind.

She doesn't even notice that her eyes are now rolling from the back of her head and tongue slowly splitting out at how it feels so good being penetrated like there's no tomorrow. "We'll going to train that slutty hole until I can get to use it whatever we want."

"I-I don't care, master. As long as you give me your cum, that's what matters to me."

"Then buckle up because I'm going to shoot it out on you again."

The loud claps of your body began to rise and go faster as well as her vibrating moans and sweats dripping out each other skin, another batch of stickly load were unleashed into her ravaged hole.

You and her let out an exhausted breaths, giving yourselves time to rest for a minute. As you recovered your stamina back, you sat and leaned your back on the headboard. You patted the space beneath you, instructing Jeongyeon on what she's going to do next.

"Suck."

That's it. Very simple. You lend her your still erected cock into her hands as you spreaded your legs wider to give her more space to lay her body on her torso while she gives you the best blowjob and deepthroat she can perform for cleansing.

You noticed that you were about to cum again, but you thought of one more position you would like to do that has to do with Jeongyeon's attractive curvy frame.

"Move aside, I'll lay and I want you to ride me with your back facing me."

"Yes, master."

She gave one last peck of lovely kiss into your cockhead before she allows you to lay down for her to carefully straddle your lower half and direct your pointed shaft straight to her used hole.

Her weight presses down, your cock once again invading her walls as she sat and began grinding on your lap, bouncing further to increases the intensity of the fucking she's giving you.

You had to just lay there and admire the view of her breathtaking back frame, her supple ass rippling at the contact it takes from crashing down to your pelvis.

"Ughhhh... mmm.. o-oh fuck master this is so good... mmmhhh" Jeongyeon keeps on mumbling and whimpering unconsciously as she savors the pleasure of your length rubbing her insides and your tip poking her womb.

"I'm so close, Jeongyeon!" You rose up to grab her body and drag her down to make her lay on top of you. Arms coiled around her midsection and her large breast being roughly squished and groped. Your bodies are now stacked together with your cock still buried into her pussy.

You did the favor to fuck her with all your might until you reach your very end. Jeongyeon was very surprised and impressed at this position that you were still able to make her feel overloaded despite being riled up atop of your body thanks to how big and long your gifted cock is.

Few more strokes to give and again, you fired your last release deep that you can offer inside her for tonight. Both of you breathe deeply at the exhaustion, entirely spent and barely had to energy to engage into another round with Jeongyeon.

You gently laid the collapsed Jeongyeon to the other side of the bed as you slowly stood up and went for her kitchen to grab yourselves two glasses of water.

As you headed back to her bedroom, you were completely astounded at what you discovered.

Jeongyeon is curled, hugging her knees as you heard her noticeable cries being hidden by the positioning of her head.

"Jeongyeon?" You placed the glasses on the top of her small cabinet as you came up to approach her for assistance. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I-I don't know..." She shook her head as she felt your weight sink the softness of the cushion of her bed. "I'm just happy I guess... with everything."

"Tears of joy?" She nodded.

"I just remembered what you said to me earlier while we're doing it." Jeongyeon faced you, her watery and droopy eyes observed you.

"What part of it?"

"Y-you said... you were looking forward about the feeling you have in store for me since we were in college." Jeongyeon said. Your eyes widened a little, not because you were shocked that you don't realized you said. You were aware of what you're saying, it's just that you didn't expected that she'll bring that up again.

"Does that mean s-something, YN?" She asked you.

You sighed and frowned, feeling nervous and sad about the call you're about to receive in return when you finally unveil to her about this secret you've been hiding for so long.

"It is."

Jeongyeon's eyes were the ones that showcased a pure reaction of shock.

"I was in love with you, Jeongyeon. Until now I still am."

She confirmed it for herself and she couldn't believe it. The man she was secretly admiring thinking there will never be a chance for her to get reciprocated because of her trashy and evil attitude is literally confessing his love for her to prove her wrong.

"W-what? Y-you do?"

You nodded with guilt. You sat properly beside her who is still eyeing you. "Strange, right? How could I ever fell in love with somebody who hates me with ever fiber of her body, who sees me as a disruptor and a rival in the class to gain attention of the school around us from our intelligence and somebody who will never feel the same as mine. Hell, you can't even stand having me being your friend."

Jeongyeon lowered her head, she was hurt at the slap of reality you did to her. It was all her fault and she's telling the exact same thing she was highly believing in. You were making so much sense on her behalf.

"After we graduated, I lost you... but I just let it aside because I knew you won't mind it anyway. You may be even thanking the heavens that you can finally get rid of me. But ofcourse, it hurts. Knowing that your crush doesn't care as much as you can give for her no matter how much she's causing you pain."

You can't endure the agony and suffering all compiled within you over these years that you dealt with, as your eyelid felt heavy and streams of tears fell in your cheeks.

Jeongyeon was hurt even more at the amount of heartbreak she was unintentionally causing you. She just learnt today that it was not only her who's hurting after all this time. It was like you two are truly meant to feel what you both can feel for one another.

"I tried to to get you out of my heart but it's so hard. You come here after 2 years and you made it even worse. Now I don't even understand why did we end up in your room, temperature rising as our bodies united while we're both trapped between our arms." You looked at her who is staring embarassing on her entwined hands.

"Why did we do it even though it's wrong?" You asked her with a mix of curiosity and confusion.

Jeongyeon wiped out the tears were almost about to mess her face more. She sniffed and swallowed some confidence before she got to eventually tell you the main reason why she was encouraged and left without any other choice to do it with you.

"I... I didn't had to fight it anymore." She shrugged while staring at the unknown, too drowned at the deep trances of her explaination she has to share for you.

"What do you mean?"

"The way how I treat you before, I never intended to continue it longer." Jeongyeon said as she took a trip down memory line back to those times where the entire backstory of what actually happened behind the cold, jealous and hatred shell of hers that she had to wear whenever you're around her everytime.

"I never want to... be harsh or rude about you because, that's the contrast of what I actually want to act whenever I'm having you near me....

YN, I fell in love in you too."

You jerked your head aside, looking at her incredulously, the adrenaline of panic and bewilderment was striking you alternatively as you learnt her revelation that turned your world upside down.

Yoo Jeongyeon was indeed having a crush on you also. You can't process and reevaulate that statement she made you learn about.

"I still can remember the very first time you were the only one to made me smile at your ridiculous acts. Your sillyness you use to share your jokes to me while we were taking a break for our math competition, it was the start of the cracks that appeared on the walls I built around me for so long.

I kept myself away from everyone because I thought at first they will just be a distraction and irrelevant to my goals and accomplishments in class, but ever since I got to met you and discover more about you... I was mistaken. Closeness and connections on other people you find an interest... is what keeps you move forward in many ways unimaginable.

So I observed and checked on you secretly, while still wearing the mask to protect the personality I was mostly well known for. And you were so nice, so gentleman, so handsome and cute that I couldn't help but to reconsider things that I should try... disregard this disguise and try being nice for the first time all because of you.

But suddenly, it didn't happen. M-my parents-"

You leaned closer, looking at her intently as you patiently waited for her next words to say. "What about them? What did they do?"

Jeongyeon sniffed and heaved from the cries she's slightly making again. You guessed that her parents must have brought a devastating impact to her.

"They didn't liked about my growth of likedness for you. They knew about you when I first introduced you them as part of my reports from my studies, and I wasn't holding any signs of strange feelings for you at that time. They portrayed you as my enemy, so when they learnt that you're the one I'm having a crush with... I-I received a scolding from them.

They expressed their dislikedness for you, they reminded me of what I should do rather to you and that is to humiliate and surpass you in our academic status. You aren’t even qualified to their standards.  All they think about was the pressure they're putting on me to my studies just so they can brag something to everyone without sincerely being proud at what I did." Jeongyeon said as she sobbed harder. You didn't waited anymore to let her finish first, comforting her instantly with your warm cuddle.

"I was at this close to make you mine too, YN. I could've told you earlier that I love you too but I'm sorry if I had to make you wait for 3 years with me. It took us so long." She continues to break down on your shoulder. Your heart was tearing apart witnessing the vulnerability of your girl.

"Shhhh... calm your cries, Jeong. Don't drain yourself thinking about it all. That's enough." You murmured, repeatedly patting her on the head and rocking her body in ease.

"That's why when I had to see you again, you made me reminded that we're both grown ups now and we don't have to live from our parent's control. I didn't care anymore if it's inappopriate, it was never like that for me. Loving you was a blessing in disguise, YN."

She faced you and cupper your cheeks. You did the same thing and both were put theirselves into the midst of another kiss filled with nothing but love and freedom that the destiny has also granted both of you to receive at last.

"I just want to join you and follow wherever you go, YN. I want us to last longer. Please, I love you so much." She buried her face on your chest.

"You don't have to worry about that, Jeongyeon. From now on, we'll get to love each other without allowing anyone to get into our way. Our relationship stands tall until we stay strong in the end."

You tightened your hug around Jeongyeon as you took the time of silence between each other to be overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, relief and love for this heartful and wholesome moment you get to experience with the woman you never thought that you already succeeded on winning her heart not even acquiring any efforts to make.

Now you truly believe that she's probably thinking you are the right one despite the prohibited relationship and you are indeed prepared to be there on her side to support her and fight for each other's love no matter what happen.

"Thank you by the way, YN. I really enjoyed it." She said, referring to your first sex with her tonight that you easily understood.

You smiled, glad that you were able to satisfy and achieve the expectations and standards she may be looking for this kind of activity. "I do too, Jeong. That was one of the best things I've ever had."

"Be honest with me though, have you really fantasized or illusioned about this? Cause I'm going to be honest, you really made our sex better with your dominant side. It was like you were prepared for it to occur and you gave it all tonight. That was hot and very unusual of you. I almost didn’t recognized you." She asked while eliciting a chuckle at the replay of what she witnessed from your intimate-crazed self that is unrecognizable to the one she is currently spending time in relaxation to her bed.

You sighed, surrendering yourself from being cornered by her question. "Okay, fine! I do get horny sometimes even before in our college days! I also had a boner couple of times when you wear those uniform that compresses the outline of your bra. Do you even know how busty you are?" You said as you squeezed one of her breasts.

She laughed at your remark while almost getting aroused against your erotic touch. "I knew I was right that you're such a pervert. That's why you loved how I look in my lingeries huh."

"Yeah yeah, you got it correct. Happy?" You rolled your eyes and pouted as you sulk. Jeongyeon found his boyfriend being adorable when he's getting teased.

"Yup. Happy." She smiled and pinched your cheek, causing you to blush harder when you glanced at her shining grin. "Jokes aside, it's pretty fine and completely normal to have that kind of moment. It's part of our puberty to boost our hormone's sensitivity. I'm thankful you never crossed the line before though like... attempting to sexualize or harass me."

"Oh I would never do that. My respect never disappeared for girls like you, Jeongyeon." She smiled appreciatingly.

"I desired about us doing it too before YN, so don't worry."

"Then you admit you're a pervert as what you suspect me?"

"Dumbass, it's not!" She slapped your shoulder which you hissed and ouched at the stinging pain.

"Okay! I'm sorry, I'll stop." You burst out a laughter at Jeongyeon's deadly yet cute glare.

"Thank you for helping me fulfill our fantasies... or should I say our double fantasy together at once, YN."

"Same here, Jeongyeon. And I'm so lucky to have it with you. I love you so much."

"I love you too, babe."

One last kiss is all it takes before both fell asleep to end your memorable night with your former rival and now... your first ever-and definitely the last-girlfriend to have on her own room where you'll be expecting a future intimate scenarios you could make together with her, with Jeongyeon, just as same as what you two did in your own way of celebrating your reconciliation and newly established relationship with her.

[ozzgin]

Dear Ozzgin,

Is your new addition to the repertoire, the yandere android, a Mixture of Experts like GPT-4.5, or something else entirely? Would his performance / 'humanness' degrade if he were talking to another machine (an inhuman one, not designed to be Spacer-ly human) for a long time?

Any random lorebits on Spacers you did not include but would have had you felt less constrained?

Hah, okay, I see you've gotten into the technical aspects. I'm about to go on a ramble so I'll do a cut here for everyone else to not clog your feeds. Feel free to read if you're into this kind of stuff. :D

First, I just wanted to point this out because I've read your hashtags and comment: the CCD sensors were a bit of an asspull because it's one thing I'm more knowledgeable about, but I don't feel like it'd be a realistic choice, if I am to be nitpicky. They're expensive to produce and are mostly used for really high performance work (telescopes), but a humanoid robot wouldn't need such advanced digital imaging for daily life use. So, you know, it's arguable whether or not there are better alternatives when it comes to a mass-produced agent processing the immediate environment.

Now to your actual question: I've used the machine learning approach because this is currently our most advanced way of developing AI, but it would not be enough to explain the Android's perfect understanding of human speech. ChatGPT analyzes sentences and their meaning purely based on grammar and associations, but there's many examples of it struggling against anything more intricate than literal context. So yeah, that kind of sarcastic dialogue and implied meaning is wishful thinking of times far away sadly. I'm only wildly guessing he wouldn't struggle with today's impediments. There's a black box somewhere in there that fills the gaps and variables we don't have.

If at some point you find yourself with time to spare, I'd recommend reading the book directly. It's very interesting to see how people viewed the "future" back then, and you will detect a lot of optimism regarding computers - such as Daneel (the original Android) being a flawless human. Funnily enough, the book was published shortly before the Dartmouth Conference, so Asimov was this close to discover that language recognition is, in fact, a terribly tangled business and not as simple as they had originally expected.

I think I covered the basics when it comes to Spacers, but then again I cannot tell how easy it is to follow for someone that isn't familiar with the original work. I also didn't want to reproduce every fact, mot a mot, from Caves of Steel, especially since this is less about politics and more about romance. I'd suspect the people reading the story are not too bothered by the only briefly mentioned murder. Cause is less important when the effect is a tall robot boy with a crush on you 👀 if you feel me.

Anyways, I'm very glad you like the story, every now and then I'll insert little facts and technical details - as it usually is when you study Physics and CS but have no friends in the field - so it's definitely nice to have someone recognize the stuff! :)

[sxs-kav]

I saw Frozen Empire, so obviously I have to talk about it. Spoilers ahead.

Also disclaimer that these are my personal feelings, so if we disagree that's okay too!

So, overall I would rate the movie as good. Not my all time favorite in the franchise, I think that will always go to the original, but I enjoyed it. The story could have used a little work in some parts, but hey, nothing is perfect.

Favorite part of this whole movie: one Dr. Raymond Stantz, hands down. He is so cute as an old man-child whose enthusiasm hasn't waned the least bit over the years. Honestly, in Afterlife he seemed like he'd become cynical, but here his true nature really rang through. And I adore him being a mentor for Phoebe and the other younger characters, while also getting into mischief with them. That little sparkle in his eye when Phoebe asks "Aren't you retired?" No, Ray is never retired, he will always be ready to suit up.

I also loved in the police station when Phoebe was standing up to Dickless Peck, Ray had this face like he was so proud, like he could see Egon in her, memories of him saying "YOUR MOTHER!" 😆

The other thing I liked about the movie was the expansion of the Ghostbusters as a business, with the research lab. First off, I love that Winston, the one who didn't even believe in ghosts when he was hired, is now almost like the CEO of the company. But also, it opens up more possibilities for this new era and allows for more playing with the world building. Though I feel like it was a wasted opportunity to put in some easter eggs for TRGB. Unless the ghosts featured were in the (*shudder*) Q5 episodes, I didn't recognize any of them from the show. Then again, I guess they're newer ghosts so that wouldn't make sense, but maybe they could have been similar kinds of ghosts. Just as a small reference.

Other favorite parts include:

-The near-lesbian romance between Phoebe and Melody

-Ray smuggling the Mini Pufts from Oklahoma (because of course he would)

-Also just the Mini Pufts in general (why are they so violent?)

-The way Ray's face lit up when Peter came to the firehouse

-Peter being proud that Ray quit smoking

-Peter's unwavering faith that Ray's idea is good and will work, and saying they all trust him

-The library ghost (did they never go back to get her???)

-Gary saying the words to the theme song

-Janine in uniform!

-Slimer eating the pizza with the posesser ghost in it

Now, onto the areas that I felt were not as strong. First of all, I found it wild that Phoebe was being ousted by everyone without any kind of fight. She's the one that started the whole thing up again, she's got the passion, she's got the brains, she's got the glasses and the curls! Her mom says a grand total of NOTHING to defend her in Peck's office, and they all just accept that she can't be a Ghostbuster anymore. Yeah, they don't want to get sued, but it's just weird to me that they don't even seem like they feel that terrible that she got benched. Callie and Trevor are very callous about the whole thing. Only Gary seems like he gives a shit, and he's not even her dad. The way Phoebe's benching ended wasn't all that satisfying either. It would have been nice for the other three to maybe struggle a little without her, realize they need her to balance the team, and try to find a way to get her back. Winston was really the one that got Peck off their backs in the end, no thanks to anyone else (also, I'm pretty sure in that scene, someone in the crowd yells 'dickless' 😆).

Side note, I really don't like Callie's character that much. I think she's self-centered and doesn't seem to care about the kids' feelings unless the situation becomes dire. Maybe she does deep down, but mostly her attitude about everything stinks. Idk, I wouldn't care if she wasn't in the movie at all.

Anyway, back to the plot. I liked the idea of Phoebe's plotline. I wish they'd gone all the way and had her and Melody kiss, I really thought that was coming when she separated from her body. But I have an issue about that particular moment. The decision to suddenly put herself in the chamber like that seemed to come out of nowhere, at least I thought so. They made it like Melody was supposed to be the one tricking her into doing it, but she really never said anything to convince her. Phoebe just decided on her own to try it. I know she mentioned a couple of times wondering what it would feel like to be a ghost, but it wasn't a strong enough buildup to such a risky move. Honestly, when she asked Ray about him wanting to be a ghost, coupled with Winston saying Ray was going to get himself killed, I thought they were foreshadowing killing Ray (and thank God they didn't!).

They also hint at Phoebe specifically being the one that needs to be used but why? Anyone could have been tricked into the chamber and been controlled by Garaka for the chanting.

But moving on from that, the other issue I have is with the firemaster. He was a little too good at controling the fire after what, a couple of hours of practice? I think the character could still work, he could still be a quirky weird guy, but I think I would have made him more of a reluctant inheritor of his grandma's powers. Maybe he struggles with it at first and he figures he can sell the artifacts to Ray to get rid of the responsibility. Then later he can finally accept his fate to help beat Garaka when he starts believing in himself.

Those are the only major parts that I felt could have been tweaked. Besides that, I would have loved to see Slimer and Ray get a moment, just as a nod to their friendship in the show, but I guess they want to stick to one continuity. Of all the things they could have referenced from the show, though, it had to be the Junior GB 😆 It was just a throwaway line, but still, I don't want to remember they were a thing.

Tl;dr, the movie was good and there were a lot of parts I really enjoyed. For the parts that were weak, I'm confident there will be another in the future, so hopefully they'll keep improving.

Also, who the hell voted for Peck to be mayor? I bet he rigged the election.