#because they make their characters so lovable that we automatically hate anyone that hurts them

[lesbicosmos]

jenn lyon's performance in dbd is so insane because despite the sexy camp fun, she STILL manages to make you hate esther's guts

[takirasu]

Why I cannot understand how a huge majority of the Persona 5 fandom ships Akira/Protagonist with Akechi if you’ve played the game and what is possibly wrong about it

First and foremost: I do not mean to offend or hurt anyone personally with this. This is purely analytical from the viewpoint of someone who is interested in analysing characters and character dynamics. The group of people mentioned that I dislike regarding this ship is targeted to certain types of people in the fandom that will be explained at the end, meaning if you ship this No, I don’t automatically dislike you and even if I would, who cares? It’s just me. I don’t know you and it shouldn’t matter to you. I also want to mention that obviously Persona 5 will get spoiled in this analysis as well as slight mentions and spoilers of Royal, especially the third semester. Read at your own risk! Without further ado, let’s jump into a very interesting dynamic between two characters that had potential, but – in my opinion – leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth due to what fans did and do with it most of the time and how Atlus ends it in both Orginal and Royal. I will try to be about this as neutral as possible, since an analysis shouldn’t take a side and then put my opinion about it at the end, because the aspects and whys about this matter more than one person’s opinion alone. Also, the analysis will help form an opinion and back it up. There is nothing worse to me than giving an opinion, but not having anything to back it up with.

To analyse the relationship between the two I will be taking important parts of the story in this dynamic and analyse it as well as analyse the characters briefly according to the situation and towards each other. I will be taking the Anime and Manga into this for certain parts as well. I would like to do a whole character analysis one day if I find the time and fans are interested, but since the main focus of this is a ship and what is up with it I will only analyse the moments that they either have together or that further underlines the topic.

 Starting with Akira, it is clear from the very first hour on that he has a strong want of helping other people – in need or not - and cannot stand injustice. To underline how important it is to him you have to understand that in Japan’s society it is considered incredibly rude to interfere between two adults in whatever situation given. It is not your business, like Sojiro Sakura – his guardian in Tokyo during his probation – explains to him and much more the player at the beginning of the game. In short, Akira knew what he might possibly get himself into. Even if Shido wouldn’t have tripped and hurt himself. Even if Shido wouldn’t have threatened the women to tell the upcoming police Akira apparently assaulted him. The only thing important to those who found out about the incident and know that he did not push him was still this: You do not interfere between two adults, keep your business. People who do that are considered delinquents and you really do not want this stamp on your forehead in Japan. Further, I assume Akira might be suffering from a Saviour complex. In all three media – game, manga and anime – he puts other people’s needs over himself and gets incredibly upset if he is not able to help someone or better, in Akechi’s case, save them. As helpful and kind a someone can be by nature, you have to understand that not everyone will either want your help or will be able to accept it. Not everyone can be saved and you do not have to save everyone. People who have trouble with accepting this suffer from a Saviour complex. A moment to justify both this and my first point is during the beginning of Madarame’s Palace, with one of my favourite quotes of Akira being,

“I want to help. I just want to be sure what we're doing is right. Trust me I'm not saying we should turn a blind eye and do nothing...”

After this event, Ann and Ryuji call him out for being both too timid and yet in haste at the same time. They’re barely out of the Metaverse and obviously have a private life that they need to care about when he already wants everyone to gather information on if Yusuke is really being abused and used by his teacher as fast as possible; on the same day. Again, he puts others over himself. While of course Ryuji and Ann aren’t any less concerned, to him someone might be getting hurt and there is no time to waste on matters like this. When they do find out through Nakanohara, a former student of Madarame, that he steals his pupil’s art, threatens everyone that leaves him and makes students even hurt themselves, Akira as the Phantom Thieves leader decide on saving Yusuke. Said complex also feeds his need of wanting to protect others, shown and explored more in two major scenes in the anime. When Phantom Thieves meet Akechi for their finale encounter they captured it very well. Akechi reveals he has the power of the Wild card, being able to handle more than one Persona, like Akira does. When the Thieves try to either talk to Akechi or attempt to walk up to him and handle it, Akira as Joker takes his role seriously. He tells the others, “He’s mine. Hold. Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” knowing full well that nobody else would be able to take him on other than another Wild card. Another scene is when he protects Sojiro from a few police men. He knows he shouldn’t step in between two adults and he is still on probation, but the want of protecting the person that offers him shelter and that warms up to him is stronger than his own desires. He stands in front of Sojiro and shields him.

 Akechi on the other hand is one of the most interesting and misunderstood characters I have seen in a long time. While not outright admitting it himself, Akechi has this immense and unfulfilled need of being loved since his past was pretty much empty of it. His resentment towards Akira is fuelled by this since he sees how said one has a lot of supportive friends when he’s nothing special in particular. This possibly means that in Akechi’s eyes you have to have a certain standard to achieve to be special and lovable, which would explain the way he made himself for the public. He further insults Akira as a criminal who lives in an attic during their last meeting and asks himself what he has that Akechi lacks, not knowing that it is something he never grew up learning. He hates Akira, but deep down he does not. It pains him to see the exact opposite of himself and how out of place it is for him. Akira is nothing yet loved, while Akechi build up this perfect self that is special, but not actually loved. It messes with him whenever Akira is in front of him and does better than him. He is the reason he gets reminded of the things he hates the most about himself. Similar to Akira he is an outcast to society – just carefully sealed and hidden behind his Ace detective mask. Shido, who is actually his father and he only works with to get revenge on, did not care that he got someone pregnant and left, which lead to Akechi’s mother giving him away and committing suicide. In Japan these kind of families are frowned upon on, being the kid of a possible one-night stand gives no meaning to your life and only tarnishes the mother, which is most probably the reason why the women took her life. It wasn’t bearable for her in this society and she couldn’t life with Akechi’s existence. He was given from foster home to foster home, never had any parents that would give him love and that he could look up to as well as forming actual bonds with people. You see him both struggling to form an actual friendship with Sae, an adult, as well as adapt to people his age, for example the Phantom Thieves. He feels odd and has this unpleasant aura of superiority around him, since he has never learned anything regarding love and how to work and be with other people. So Akechi decides he needs to build his mask to be lovable to the public since his actual self, in his eyes, is not. He’s smart and basically reforms himself completely new for the public. His public self is near to perfect for the role of a student detective. Justice driven, charming, funny and smart. During the game while he is on stage it slips his thoughts during the moment everyone cheers for him and adores him, that none of these people know he’s an unwanted bastard child, which means that he does not think as highly of himself as the player tends to think at the beginning of the game. He is sure nobody would like him and he would never be able to become a detective if it was him as his true self that is worthy of nothing. These two things lead to him being able to be cold-blooded and cause the mental shutdowns, as well as try to kill Akira. First, he has never gotten love and affection. These things are needed for a child to grow and learn empathy, which Akechi lacks. It might almost sound mean, but from a neutral viewpoint this is why it was so easy for him. He does not feel for other people as openly as others do. Also, you have to keep in mind that every shutdown being demanded by Shido would eventually bring him closer to his goal. His father to acknowledged his existence in the perfect moment, the apex of his power, and to take revenge on him for the life he has to live and most possibly for his mother to be driven to suicide. Lastly important for this analysis, Akechi knew what he did when he decided to let himself get killed by his cognitive self, Shido’s so-called security system. First, it would have either been him and the Phantom Thieves who were the only ones able to use the Metaverse next to him and change Shido’s heart, or only him which means that there was a possibility to at least ruin his life and not make him the new Prime minister of Japan. He knows that they won’t kill Shido, but taking everything from him that is important to him, his only desire, and the reason Akechi had to live life like this to begin with seems enough in the moment he faces death. Second, he does not believe in second chances and he does not believe in forgiveness. Akechi’s believes that are present during the whole game aren’t just towards others, but also himself. He hates his true self the same way he dislikes Akira. Both his true self and Akira are nothing in society therefore neither worthy of love or forgiveness. To him, there is no other way to atone for his sins. When the Phantom Thieves defeat Akechi he states,

“You (Akira) are so lucky to be surrounded by teammates who acknowledge you. Once Shido confesses his crimes, you’ll all be heroes. As for me, people will find out my past deductions were just charade. My fame and trust will vanish. In the end, I couldn’t be special…”

The only place he could eventually feel loved was when he faked those crimes and fake investigated them, since they were his own the public didn’t know about. He could feel important and respected, have a place in Japan’s society while working on his goal of his father’s downfall. The moment the Phantom Thieves won over him, he knew this would be taken away from him since to him the only possible outcome of this is the Phantom Thieves winning over Shido and either turning Akechi in or Shido spilling during his change of heart. People relying on him and trusting him, people acknowledging him. That is what the trust and fame was about to him. The moment they meet in Shido’s palace and Akechi is defeated, it would all be taken away from him. Putting this together is the reason he decides to trap himself with the summoned shadows and his cognitive self. His father would lose everything that was important to him if he saves the Phantom Thieves and he has no reason to live in a world where he has no fame and trust from the public, since in his distorted mind he will not be worth of love and worth of existence. He wouldn’t be special. When the Phantom Thieves do reach out and tell him all the things they admire about him and give him a chance to join them against Shido, he laughs about them. His true self is out and to him, it is not lovable or special no matter what they say.

From the reasons shippers bring up for these two, Akira being devastated about Akechi’s death and wanting it revoked is a big one and the first one I want to analyse and explain. As analysed earlier, it is important to Akira to save others and help them, especially when they cannot help themselves. In certain parts, the two aren’t far from each other yet polar opposites. Akira knows that and despite everything feels empathy for Akechi after said ones tells the whole story. Witnessing someone’s death whether it is hearing or seeing it is traumatizing and it’s normal to think about it later back at home in the real world how Akira does, but taking his character analysis into consideration it probably messed with him more than it would with other people, like the other Phantom Thieves. In the anime, Akechi throws a chess piece with Akira catching it. Akira, who is not someone to have emotional outbursts, gets so worked up and angry that he hits the wall that came down in front of them with his fist before he quickly catches himself back in the role as the leader who always had and has to stay calm and collected. If you look at it, Akechi is the only one Akira couldn’t save when he knew he needed it and, to Akira, deserved it. Because throughout the whole game with so many different cases of people not being able to save themselves or being in unjust situations not once does he care about how the people are or if there is any certain character trait etc. to them in particular. Akira probably shares the same belief like his friends. Everyone is special in their own way and so was Akechi deserving of a better life like everyone else is. It messes with him so much, that in Persona 5: Royal, a game that came out 3 years after the original game and it is still tightly being fought about if it is canon or an alternative reality to which the developers have yet to make an official statement to, he tells Maruki, the school’s therapist who is interested in cognitive science, that if he could change reality, his wish wouldn’t be that all of this had never happened, but that Akechi would still be alive. While this is the number one situation people who ship the two use ever since Royal has come out, it just further underlines Akira’s character and my suggestion of him having a Saviour complex. He cannot live with the fact that he couldn’t save Akechi, when this is what the Phantom Thieves stood for. It pains him so much that his wish is actually beneficial to someone else. We know nothing about Akira’s past, but it is impossible that there isn’t something he wishes wouldn’t have happened that is outside of the game. Instead, he chose something that helps someone else and puts himself back to ease. He knows, this is what pains him the most and will for quite some time. Having Akechi back would ease his complex and give a person he thinks that deserve a second chance another tries. This is once more better shown in the anime during the last confrontation when Akira tries to talk to Akechi multiple times during Akechi’s small monologue, but eventually realizes it will be of no use. Akechi is too far gone and Akira tells the group to finish it.

Second are the moments we got early in the anime. While the game doesn’t allow this, the anime explores Akechi’s detective side a bit earlier and more for the viewer. In game, we only see Akechi working on the cases he created while he is actually really good at “real” cases as well and able to solve them. During Yusuke’s arc, Akira and Akechi work together on a few of those and Akechi teaches him how not to be fooled by rotten adults. This all goes quite wholesome, but at that point the interrogation nor the black mask reveal had happened yet. The story is early and fresh, not even having picked up the pace. It almost feels like Akechi either tried learning how Akira’s mind works, or honestly just wanted to spend time with someone he felt like was similar to him. All of this gets revoked though when he massively insults him at the end of the game, making it hard to put this in canon. It might be that Akechi was trying to give himself a chance, because Akira was probably the first person who could handle Akechi just like how he is and also accepted him just like that - since that is what Akira does with everyone throughout the game and also gets complimented and aknowleged for - but instead Akechi couldn’t stop himself and pulled through with the rest of his plans. Looking at it from another side, taking this from the anime into consideration makes the next thing and points even worse.

Last is the interrogation, probably one of the most well-known scenes in the whole game, that I want to analyse further. To begin with, Akira finds himself getting arrested due to Akechi’s betrayal. While it is not exactly explained how, it is obvious that Akechi lead the police in since only Metaverse app users can enter the Metaverse. If you have a non-user nearby, you can pull them into it. Akechi probably did this beforehand, told them to hide and gave them either a time limit or symbol. After the fight against Sae Futaba picks up enemy readings, so many that they’re being surrounded. Akira and the Phantom Thieves part ways and the leader makes all the attention go to himself so that the others can escape. In the end he gets ambushed, cuffed up and knocked out by drugs. What the player does not know is that the group had known about Akechi’s plan all along and they had to play along. All throughout Sae’s palace, Akira knew he would most probably be cuffed up by the end, but it was necessary to let it happen. Otherwise they would never be able to defeat Akechi. I would like to add that this in particular sounds pretty traumatizing and stressful as well. Moving forward and the Phantom Thieves’ plan succeeding, Akechi is unknowingly being dragged into the Metaverse. He outright plans to kill Akira, which reveals his true motive on why he worked with them on Sae’s palace in the first place. The Phantom Thieves are blocking his path of the mental shutdowns and destroying his father. It is so soon that he cannot lose due to them. He is smart about it and wants to kill their leader. Once again and as stated earlier, Akechi doesn’t feel empathy and he has killed before. He gets things done so that they are beneficial to what he needs to do further, just like how it was beneficial for him to work with the Thieves together for at least a while. Be that figuring out how they work, or just messing with them. What he doesn’t know is the person in the interrogation room is the cognitive version of Akira. He is only in there, because he just entered Sae’s palace and in her cognition Akira is in the interrogation room, which she does not have much control of. Therefore, it keeps being the interrogation room instead of anything Casino related. Akechi proceeds to shoot an innocent guard and then Akira. While doing so, he seems like on a high, fully enjoying it getting rid of him and it is almost uncomfortable to watch that is how good it is made. It is Akechi’s first time he kills someone in the real world, but it doesn’t seem to be much different for him. He shoots Akira right in the head when he has nowhere to go, tied up and completely drugged to a point that both in the game and anime he can’t talk properly and even passes out. The state Akira is in is portrayed very well and just underlines the atmosphere further. A murderer just aiming at their helpless victim. Akechi puts the gun in his hand to report it as a suicide and leaves. He never shows any remorse when they meet again, only throwing in that the two might possibly would have become friends if having met earlier. He does not mention the faked death, because there is nothing to say. It might be, because both know Akechi wanted to do it. It was necessary for his path and nobody, especially not someone like Akira, would be standing in his way. Shippers defend this situation, saying Akechi had to kill Akira. To some extent, I would analysis this as true and say that it was a possibly way of getting rid of the Phantom Thieves and continuing his plan, but is your first idea really murder to this? In such a special way? Concealing it as a suicide and not have any respect to the person you just killed? It is unlikely as smart as Akechi is that this was the only possible option he had regarding on how he would get rid of the Phantom Thieves or their leader. Killing the person is just probably the most convenient one to Akechi and again, he does not feel for others properly, since he has never learned how to. This is why he is able to plan this, kill someone he acted like a friend with, saw multiple times for weeks and just walk away. In conclusion that means it is not because he had to and also not because he wanted to in particular, but because Akechi did not care and therefore made it possible to just shot him and continue with his life. It is one of the most important scenes in the whole game and does a lot to the development for all three characters involved (Sae, Akechi and Akira) yet shippers throw it under a bus with the sole statement that he had to.

Putting everything above together, the major moments these two had, shipping Akira and Akechi is complicated and probably not the best.

To finally conclude my opinion to this. In another world, Akechi could learn a lot from Akira. He has a lot of empathy for others and wants to help, which Akechi lacks. It would have been good for him and the part where Akechi mentioned that they might have become friends if met earlier made me emotional as someone who does not support it in a romantic way. In this moment, I thought of them as friends. I thought myself thinking of what would have been if they had met one or two years earlier. Two people who get better through each other and learn from each other. As much as I love this character trait from Akira, I have had my personal fair shares that having this can be negative at times. It would be good for him to have someone that shows him the opposite or at least a middle path. Both characters go All-Out on this. It is either full on empathy or complete lack of empathy. Either you want to save everyone or you’re okay with killing whoever as long as you obtain your ultimate goals.

Many people have stated already that the ship is quite abusive. Anything that comes out of Akechi’s mouth towards Akira in both game and anime (I’m only referencing the anime since the last two times because the manga is barely at Futaba’s arc yet) after revealing his true motives, is negative. Either he insults him directly or the way he lives, just because he found someone that reminds him of himself deep inside if he wants to or not. That gives him no right to act like this, even when psychology is complex. And if you want to defend this, it gives him no right to shoot him and actually visibly enjoy it – which you cannot deny and a lot of people in the fandom stated as well. He didn’t have to, but he did. He wasn’t forced to, but he did it. I wonder if Akechi tells Akira he hates him for the fact that he did make him feel something. Not in a romantic way, again, but more in a way of empathy and this feeling of friendship and he knew he had to stop this.

There are a lot of good people in the fandom fan of his complex character. I don’t necessary like Akechi as a character, but I find him interesting and good to talk about. As for liking or hating him…the interrogation scene happened the way it happened let’s just leave it at that. Sadly, there are also a lot of people in the fandom who will shove this ship down your throat. Somehow, it is superior to them and it should be canon. I have seen so many tweets and Tumblr posts, especially with Royal and its’ third semester that genuinely leave me concerned. What started as 3AM ramble to my friend ended up being this 5000 words essay on why the situations and character traits stated above get taken out of context or misunderstood by shippers. It goes further when you find out that some people ship it because it is abusive to begin with. They acknowledge it and love it and while there are more important things in life than this, I just found it too concerning and also very annoying at one point, I had to make an analysis about it and clear some things up. I have blocked a lot of tags regarding this ship and I still see it every day in the fandom and get attacked if I say something against it, so I just made this  post, knowing that people will eventually get mad at it. But, I honestly really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed writing about Akechi’s character. He is interesting, complex and there is so much to talk about him, but do I ship him with my favourite video game character? Hell nah.

If you want to add something to this, feel free to. I also enjoy respectful and normal discussion about this! I researched a lot for this, re-watched a few anime and game scenes and wrote for a total of 7 hours. If you enjoyed it or it made you think a little, it would be kind to let me know. I haven’t written anything in a while and my last character analysis was years ago, so this was quite a challenge, but knowing how popular this ship is and how much worse it got with Royal’s existence, I had to put this out. I’m going to be honest here. If they would’ve met a few years earlier, who knows if this wouldn’t have become one of my ships (I don’t interact in a lot of shipping to begin with so), because the basis of it is nice. But then the actual plot happens. All this stuff from the interrogation until the end happens and shippers just dismiss it or try to make it sound less bad. Like it’s the actual plot. It’s there. This is how P5 goes down. Akira’s one of the most traumatized characters I’ve come across in fiction and Akechi does a fair share to that. Don’t just dismiss that so your ship can be cute. It won’t, I’m sorry. And if you want to come at me for shipping in general, I as well ship something with complex and interesting dynamics within this game. It’s appealing, but not like this.

 Thank you for reading this if you got through all of it! I seriously appreciate it and my non-existent sleep does to! - May

[giftedsupport]

Re-parenting yourself

Lots of gifted kids have childhood wounds from bullies, teachers, and adults who harmed their self-esteem. Lots of us also had parents and teachers who didn’t fully understand how to nurture the gifted children in their care. Furthermore, studies have shown that gifted children suffer more from childhood emotional abuse and neglect--but are also capable of healing more quickly and fully when given the tools to do it. You can re-parent yourself and heal the wounds of your childhood! If you’ve seen me talking about reparenting and fixing the mistakes of our own parents on previous posts, this one explains how to actually do that reparenting. What follows are passages from The Tao of Fully Feeling by Pete Walker, an excellent source on recovering from childhood abuse. Under a cut because long post is long.

Self-compassionate reparenting is a term I have coined to describe my approach to remothering and refathering the inner child. When we practice self-compassionate reparenting, we identify and provide for the unmet needs of our childhood so that we can grow into more complete, life-loving human beings.

...Many survivors are uncomfortable with the concept of the inner child because they were forced at an early age to become miniature adults and to hate their childlike characteristics... Survivors who do not like their inner children, or children in general for that matter, are often those who were not liked as children.

Many of us were so traumatized for being and acting childlike that we had to move from toddlerhood to adulthood in astoundingly brief periods of time. Various combinations of shame, punishment, and abandonment forced us to forfeit childhood and to act like grown-ups even before we were ready for school.

...When a child is not allowed to be a child, she abandons her child-self and banishes it to her unconscious and tries to behave like an adult. Many of us find it difficult to get an authentic sense of our inner child because that part of ourselves is still hiding somewhere out of awareness... The child-self often stays sequestered in the unconscious because the adult survivor, like his [abusers], reviles it whenever it emerges into awareness seeking help or attention. ...Self-compassionate reparenting begins with the decision to love our inner children and protect them from self-abuse.

...We will focus here primarily on the emotional tasks of the reparenter. These constellate around two crucial goals: the recovery and ongoing development of our inborn sense of self-acceptance, and the reestablishment and strengthening of our instinctive sense of self-protection. ...[These are] the two key processes of emotional caretaking:  unconditional love and unrelenting self-protection (which has its roots in the emotion of anger).

...

Reparenting begins with forgiving the inner child. It sometimes seems outlandish to me that we need to forgive the children in us who were so innocent and undeserving of blame. What a cruel irony that we need to forgive the blameless, yet we must let our inner children know that we forgive them because, like our [abusers], we have been blaming since time immemorial. ...Forgiving our inner children is a powerful avenue into self-forgiveness. In the words of self-esteem guru Nathaniel Branden:

When we learn to forgive the child we once were, for what he or she didn’t know, or couldn’t do, or couldn’t cope with, or felt or didn’t feel; when we understand and accept that child was struggling to survive the best way he or she could--then the adult self is no longer in adversarial relationship to the child-self. One part is not at war with another.

Our inner child’s heart, broken by a dearth of compassionate [acceptance], begins to heal when we turn inward with unconditional love and forgiveness. We add substance to this [loving self-parenting] by offering the child ongoing tenderness, listening, affection, and unconditional love. Consistency in such practice is what allows our inner child to feel truly forgiven.

We also enhance forgiveness by championing our inner child in a parental way. We do this by using anger and blame to fight off internal or external aggression. Such actions prove to the child that she is not only forgiven, but also no longer subject to unfair blame.

The efficacy of our reparenting is further enhanced by providing our inner children [with] verbal, spiritual, and emotional nurturance... When we give our inner children love, understanding, and protection consistently over time, they begin to shed their horrible burdens of fear, shame, and emptiness. 

As we become more successful in resisting the shaming and terrorizing attacks of our internalized critical parents, our inner children begin to feel safe enough to come forth in all their vital wonder and beauty. Normal qualities of human existence that like joy, peacefulness, friendliness, spontaneity, and playfulness naturally begin to reemerge as we master the practice of reparenting.

Talking to and for the inner child

We heal ourselves with self-protection when we use our anger and blame to challenge inner messages of shame and self-hate. Speaking up in a protective way for the inner child makes it safe enough for her to once again inhabit consciousness. ...If I [realize that I] have numbly repeated the lies and shamings of old authority figures, I apologize to [my inner child] and recommit to eliminating this old self-destructive habit.

I usually supplement my self-protection with the kind of love that feeds self-esteem with positive and supportive statements. I imagine my inner child sitting on my lap or resting in my heart. I remind him that he is absolutely and eminently lovable just as he is. And then I soothe him with words of this nature:

I love to have you near me. You are such a joy to me. I love it when you talk to me and tell me how it is for you. I want to hear everything you have to say. I want to be the one person you can always come to whenever you need help. You can come to me when you are hurting, when you just want company, or when you want to play. You are always welcome. You are a delight to my eyes, and I always enjoy having you around. You are a good child, very special and absolutely worthy of love, respect, and all good things. I am so proud of you and so glad that you are alive. I will help you in any way that I can. I want to be the loving mom and dad you were so unfairly deprived of, and that you so much deserve. And I want you to know that I have an especially loving place in my heart for you when you are scared or sad or mad or ashamed. You can always come to me and tell me about such feelings, and I will be with you and try to soothe you until those feelings run their natural course. I want to become your best friend and I will always try to protect you from unfairness and humiliation. I will also seek friends for you who genuinely like you and who are truly on your side. We will only befriend people who are fair, who treat us with equality and respect, and who listen to us as much as we listen to them. I want to help you learn that it really is good to have needs and desires. It’s wonderful that you have feelings. It’s healthy to be mad and sad and scared and depressed at times. It’s natural to make mistakes. And it’s okay to feel good too, and even to have more fun than mom and dad did.

...I reassure him that I will never allow anyone to abuse [or bully] him again. No one will be allowed to slap him with a hand or with words. I remind him that I have a healthy anger now that can be summoned up to ward off, or “write off”, abusers.

When we consistently give our inner children this kind of support, we suffer less and less paralysis from toxic shame. We become skilled at transforming the inverted anger of self-hatred into a defense against [our internalized bullies]. [Our abusers’] rulership of our psyches gradually dissipates, and we are able to treat normal mistakes as learning experiences rather than as proof of our defectiveness. The demon of perfectionism loses its grip on our psyches, and we begin to cherish our differences and imperfections as the unique treasures of character and being they are. 

I have been so healed through this process that I now value many things about myself that were formerly perpetual sources of shame... What I used to disparage as “my moodiness” now strikes me as emotional richness and flexibility. My need for considerable introversion, which used to be my all-time greatest defect, has now become the much appreciated matrix of my rich inner life. My “streak shooting” in basketball no longer sends me down the drain of toxic shame, although I will probably always prefer the hot streaks to the cold ones. Moreover, I can now savor my few remaining addictions: nonstop gum-chewing, long telephone conversations, daily grilled cheese sandwiches, writing with ink in books, and crying at sentimental movies.

I can also graciously accept the moans that I occasionally evoke in others via my habit of telling bad jokes. Even my feelings of inferiority about my appearance have almost totally vanished. I now really like the imperfections that for many years made me feel so ugly that I wouldn’t dare approach the opposite sex. ...And perhaps best of all, I now frequently hear a voice that automatically says “I love you” instead of “nice going, klutz” whenever I accidentally drop or bump into something.

I have also noticed that since my inner critic lost its job as boss of my consciousness, I am far less critical and perfectionstically expectant of others. I believe this has made me safer and more comfortable to be around. Others seem to be able to be more authentic and vulnerable with me... [and] allows me to make new friends on an ongoing basis.

As new friends come into my life, my sense of belonging increases and now begins to feel like something comfortingly tribal. I feel as though the enormous loneliness of my loveless youth is largely dissipated. And it continually decreases as my social network expands though meeting good people from all walks of life.

...One of my greatest delights in being a therapist is witnessing my clients making similar gains in their lives through reparenting. Many develop trustworthy relationships for the first time in their lives. Many awake from years of stagnation to become wholeheartedly excited about new endeavors or old reclaimed enthusiasms. How wonderful it is when a client comes in proudly reporting that over the weekend she flew a kite, made a friend, climbed a tree, took a dance class, started a garden, went roller-skating, frolicked on the water slides, enrolled in an arts and crafts class, or identified fifteen different wild flowers on a camping trip!

If you would like me to post more on re-parenting through self-compassion and self-protection, please let me in the notes or in an ask! 

[nadziejastar]

(Sorry if this has already been asked!) Your opinion on Eraqus? (Think he's a bit of a zealot myself)

Vanitas can feel some of what Ventus feels, and he says Terra is the key. Ventus has loved Terra like a real brother ever since he let him keep his old wooden Keyblade.

Nope. Haven’t been asked.Yes, I agree. Judging by the way BBS was written, Eraqus was intended to come across as a bit of a zealot. The relationship between Terra and Eraqus was always one of the most interesting things to me in BBS. It’s one of the relationships that had the most impact on me, because it wasn’t black-and-white (no pun intended). And because the role of most characters’ parents never mattered much in this series. We never learned anything about Sora’s parents for instance. 

Ven longed for a brother figure more than anything. The day his light returned was the day Terra gave him the wooden Keyblade. And Terra was the loose thread in his heart. While Aqua and Ventus’ main priority was always their friend trio, Terra seemed to take it for granted most of the time—at least at first. What he longed for more than anything was a father’s love. I don’t know what the situation was with Terra’s father, but he clearly didn’t have a biological dad in his life. And it seemed like that was the root of his issues.

My brother pupil Eraqus thinks only in absolutes. He has persuaded himself that light is the only way, but forgets that light cannot exist without shadow. I believe a balance of light and darkness is what sustains our World, but too much of the darkness has been stamped out, disrupting that balance. Someone must tear down this tyranny of light and reorganize the World around the darkness which then creeps back in.

When Eraqus was younger, he didn’t seem like he was super serious or rigid in his thinking. He was more playful than Xehanort was, anyway. So, I think his rigidity was due to his upbringing. He was taught to think in absolutes, and that he had a duty to maintain balance in the world. That’s a lot of pressure. 

Upon reflection, my life underwent the most considerable sea-change when I arrived at that place. Yes, it began when I found a Master, and another I would later call my brother—when I found a new home.

Also, I think the trauma of Xehanort’s betrayal played a major role in his paranoia, too.

And on the topic of darkness: we must speak of another matter that concerns me, one related to the upcoming ceremony. When I visited several years ago, your pupil Terra drew my attention. His power is immense, to be sure, but within his heart I could see darkness just waiting to be awakened. I know this is none of my business, but I have reservations about welcoming Terra as a true Keyblade Master without taking certain precautions. The traditional examination, perhaps, to see if he has the Mark of Mastery? The choice is yours, and I will humbly respect your decision.Take care. I eagerly await our long overdue reunion.

Xehanort was like a brother to him. To have someone he considered a brother turn around and betray him—I’m sure that influenced his opinions on darkness. He didn’t think Terra could fall to darkness because he was such a bad person with dark inclinations. He would have passed the test if Xehanort didn’t interfere.

“Not your concern.”

With those parting words, Xehanort strode away. Eraqus slammed a fist into the floor as he watched him go.

Why did I fail to stop him?

Is it my fault?

Where did I go wrong?

Is the darkness itself what beguiled him so?

Must this plague steal my dear friend from me?

Eraqus’ personal experience taught him that darkness can take anyone at any time, no matter how normal and innocent they seem. And Xehanort was not named successor, while he was. Aqua was the successor, while Terra failed. In his mind, that might lead someone to darkness. Eraqus also grew up believing that he has to put aside his personal feelings to protect the world. That’s a lot of pressure on a person, and it made me feel sorry for him. He never felt free to listen to his heart. I wish we got to learn more about his past.

I had not visited this second home of mine for some time, and discovered Eraqus had already found two pupils of his own. Within one of them, Terra, I sensed something. The boy, though well-intentioned, seeks power single-mindedly. And that kind of hunger is a seedbed for darkness.I had found my vessel.

But yeah, I definitely think that Eraqus was the reason Terra was predisposed to darkness. He taught Terra to fear darkness and not show any weakness, otherwise it’ll corrupt you. When Terra was possessed by Maleficent, Eraqus was the personification of his darkness. Disappointing his master was the reason he was so afraid of losing. He lived in constant fear of being a failure. I don’t think Eraqus had any idea he felt that way, though. He didn’t express his love to Terra as openly as he probably would have wanted to, because Xehanort had hurt him so badly in the past. It made it difficult for him to be as affectionate and easygoing as he was when he was younger.

“You’re quite the picky eater, Terra.” Master Eraqus gave his student a light pat on the back as he approached.

“…It’s only sweet stuff that I’m not into. How come you, Aqua, and Ven are so crazy about it?”

“I could turn the question back on you and ask why you aren’t,” Master Eraqus retorted with a smile, then strolled over to the dining hall with a spring in his step.

Terra started after him, a little gloomy.

Eraqus definitely had a special relationship with Terra, so he must have thought his love was obvious. I could tell that he was closer to him than Aqua or Ven. I think Eraqus could relate to Terra in a way he couldn’t with anyone else. Terra had no father and was so eager to please him. And Eraqus had lost Xehanort, who was like a brother to him. He was probably eager to have another person he loved as a family member. He loved Aqua and Ven, too. And it’s not like he wanted to destroy Ven or anything. But…he cried when he thought he would have to destroy Terra.

Eraqus: You must know, I care for you like my own son. If I could have my way, I would name you Master in a second. But, how can I, when you are so obsessed with power? Terra, you mustn’t be afraid of losing. Fear leads to obsession with power, and obsession beckons the darkness. You must never forget.

Terra: Thank you, Master. I swear…I will not fail you again.

He absolutely thought of him as a son. He had been around him for a lot longer than Ventus (not sure about Aqua). I got the sense that he’s been in Terra’s life for a pretty long time. But I still got the impression that Eraqus didn’t raise Terra from childhood or anything.

Eraqus: No, you were right. I failed you, Terra. Perhaps I’ve no one to blame but myself for the darkness inside you. And now I’ve done worse–raised my Keyblade against you and Ventus. My own heart is darkness!

Terra didn’t call Eraqus his father until after he died. I could tell that was a HUGE step for Terra to take. I doubt he ever called Eraqus his father when he was alive. Terra was never too sure up until that point if Eraqus truly loved him. He felt insecure and almost seemed to have abandonment issues. It’s common in people who grow up without either parent. Older children especially will have a very hard time trusting parental figures, like foster parents, for instance.

Terra: No… I succumbed to it. Just like when I stole Princess Aurora’s heart of light. I can never return home now. I’m a failure.

It’s why I would always feel kinda defensive of Terra when I would see people bash him and call him stupid or naive, for trusting the villains like Xehanort too quickly. He seemed to get a lot of undeserved hate from the fandom. It’s true that he didn’t always make good decisions. But…that’s what happens to most young people who are orphaned or abandoned by a parent. They act irrationally at times because they don’t feel lovable, and they don’t feel safe in the world. 

Growing up in the world without parents is tough. It’s why Terra was one of the characters I personally related to the most (after Lea and Isa). Lea lost his childhood and was pretty much alone in the world. He latched on to Roxas and Xion because they provided him comfort and emotional security—something he lacked. Terra latched on to Xehanort because he was desperate for approval from an adult figure. He was Ven’s protector, but he longed to feel protected himself.

Yen Sid: To arrive at the truth, perhaps you should approach things differently–first consider them one and the same problem.

Terra: Master Xehanort and the Unversed are connected somehow?

Yen Sid: I must not make assumptions… Find Xehanort, Terra. That is where you should begin.

Terra: Yes, sir.

He didn’t automatically trust the villains, either. He just wanted to give everyone a chance and tried to not judge by appearances. Yes, the audience can tell that Xehanort is evil. But to Terra, he was Eraqus’ best childhood friend and a respected Master. Nobody told him all the bad things Xehanort had done previously.

“Master Xehanort—I have been to other worlds. I know all about the things you’ve done. I just don’t understand why.”

Though Terra started in with the questions immediately, Master Xehanort shook his head quietly. Now then, how best to guide Terra into becoming his vessel?

The fierce light in Terra’s heart also empowered the darkness within him. The stronger the light, the deeper the shadow, and that would be Terra’s path into the darkness.

Master Xehanort would play the part of a contrite old man with regrets in the past. Exactly like this foolish boy who only believed he stole Princess Aurora’s heart, and never stopped to question the source of his anguish.

It was Terra’s light—his kindness and sincerity—that made him a good candidate for darkness. The stronger the light, the deeper the shadow. Maybe the same principle was at play with Isa as a Seeker of Darkness. Maybe Isa’s strong light in the face of darkness was another reason Xehanort took an interest in him as a vessel.

Terra’s kindness—the intensity of his light—led him to seek strength. Before long, that fixation would beget darkness in his heart. Thus, Master Xehanort’s vessel was chosen.

“Master Xehanort…Ventus has gotten a lot better since then. You shouldn’t blame yourself for trying to save him,” Terra offered.

Master Xehanort looked up. “Well…Thank you, lad. You know how to put an old man’s heart at ease.”

The sincerity of this oh-so-thoughtful boy was plain on his face. Master Xehanort would need to usher him along slowly if he wanted to change that sincerity to agony and stain it with darkness.

Xehanort was grooming Terra. 

“The Unversed!” Terra gasped. He wasn’t slow on the uptake; his light just prevented him from seeing lies for what they were.

“He has no control over the darkness in his heart. The Keyblade is not his to bear. He’s an abomination beyond hope of salvation. Lend me your strength, Terra. Right this wrong that I have wrought.”

Master Xehanort shook his head, playing up his grief. He knew Terra would never refuse the plea of a foolish old man, and that was why he wove bits of the truth into his false tale.

“But I have no idea where to find him,” Terra muttered, contemplating. He was so amusingly ensnared now, and Master Xehanort kept up the pressure.

It’s why I was very disappointed that Eraqus just hijacked Terra’s body as soon as he went to confront Xehanort. I wanted to hear what he had to say to the man who possessed him for 10 years and plunged him into darkness and sleep. Sure, I think Eraqus and Xehanort needed closure and deserved a moment to themselves. But, Terra needed closure as well. He was horrifically abused by Xehanort. But because the full story was never even told after BBSV2 was cancelled, Eraqus’ immediate forgiveness of Xehanort felt totally out of nowhere. 

And maybe Terra’s perspective on Xehanort was something BBSV2 was supposed to delve into more, so his confrontation was just left out (much like Riku and Terra’s relationship). The entire scene honestly left a poor taste in my mouth. Because we never saw their past, it came across like Eraqus cared more about Xehanort than the children whose lives he destroyed. I actually felt really bad for Terra, Aqua, and Ven who had to watch Eraqus warmly embrace the man who sadistically abused them, while Eraqus’ reunion with them felt more lukewarm in comparison. I didn’t feel closure with ANY of these relationships. Not Eraqus/Xehanort, Terra/Xehanort, Eraqus/Terra, or Eraqus/Ven & Aqua.

[monkey-li]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: duckverse, DuckTales (Cartoon 1987), Don Rosa, DuckTales (Cartoon 2017) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Scrooge McDuck/Magica de Spell, Dimeshipping Characters: Scrooge McDuck, Magica de Spell, Glittering Goldie Additional Tags: Dimeshipping - Freeform, Scroogexmagica, magicaxscrooge Summary:

As a Kid I read this Don Rosa Comic (yeah, actually, that happens quite a lot ^^;) Named " A little something special" Inducks: https://inducks.org/story.php?c=D+96325

What can I say? I loved the Comic but loathed the ending. Cause even back then I was a huge Dimeshipper (ScroogexMagica) Fan and couldn't stand Goldie and especially the "relationship" Scrooge had with her. It bothered me so much, I glued the pages with the kiss together so I didn't had to look at them anymore ^0^;.

Now, after all this time I had the idea that I could just rewrite the damn thing. And so I did ^^. You need to know the Comic to fully understand everything, for I really just fixed the parts that needed to. But even without you should enjoy a little Scrooge x Magica love ♥

NO Goldie bashing!!!

PS: I love you Don Rosa! Your Magica was the one I grew up with!

You can also read it directly here on tumblr:

Even in this misery, even if she had cheated and teamed up with others against him. He just couldn’t help his feelings for the sneaky witch. He needed a distraction anyway, why not helping her out while on it? Plus it would be a grand blow against his most loathed rival: Glomgold…

He smiled as she left on his cue, off to africa he hoped. Like this, even if the old Beagle won, he still had a little satisfaction left. Not that he had any doubt he would be the winner in the end. He was sure his family could decipher his message and come to the rescue any moment. And when the police would take care of the criminals. He was glad to know, Magica was far away and safe from that…

The whole damn city had tried to find his one biggest wish. If only Magica knew , she was the only one who could fulfill his wish, his dreams…

__________________________________________________________________________________

 As he saw Goldie entering the room, he at first felt happy. He hadn’t seen his old friend for many years. But as she kept talking, it dawned on him what she wanted. What his family had planed. It was a nice thought really, and a long time ago he would have taken the gift, but now…

He got nervous, how was he about to tell her that without hurting her? Should he just endure it? Let her kiss him? No, he couldn’t bring himself to do that. His family wasn’t entirely wrong about what he wished for, but they got the wrong person to deliver it. Of course they did. Cause his feelings where a very well kept secret.

He drew back into his seat as she came closer, cold sweat of panic running down his neck. He really didn’t want to hurt her but…

Finally he got himself together, with a firm grib on her shoulders he stopped her advances.

„No!“

She looked confused.

„I am sorry Goldie, I can’t do this. You are very dear to me but…I don’t love you and I will not kiss someone, I don’t have feelings for. There is only one person in the world I would like to kiss…but that just isn’t you anymore.“

Her big blue eyes where wide open, but slowly the surprised look turned into a gentle smile.

„You don’t have to apologize for that Scrooge. I came here because your family and friends asked me to. And I saw no harm in granting you the wish of a simple kiss. But you don’t have to worry about my feelings. Whatever was between us, was a long time ago. I moved on aswell Scrooge, my heart doesn’t belong to you anymore.“

A great relief washed over Scrooge as he heard that, he smiled at her.

„Thank you Goldie.“

„But we still are friends I hope!“ She asked after a moment.

„Always!“ He assured her with utter conviction.

She sat down on a chair and leaned forward in an expecting manner. „And of course, you will tell a friend whom this mysterious person could be you lost your heart to!“

The smile fell from Scrooges face and he begun to stutter. „Thats…I can not…You wouldn’t understand…“

„Try me!“ She demanded „I have the feeling ist not Brigitta we are talking about…“

The disgusted look on his face was answere enough. But Scrooge really hasn’t much woman in his life, besides some occasional buisness partners or Daisy. Of course it could be another man aswell, but Goldie had a pretty good instinct that this was not the case. Other woman…there was only…but could that really be?

She looked up at him, his face was burning up with embarrassment. Yes it could be, she decided. But taking a guess would make it far to easy for him, a cruel little voice in her head stated. Thus she pressed on. „Tell me Scrooge, who is it? You will feel much better after you talked about that. I am sure you stubborn mule hides those feelings from everyone until now. Am I right?“

He rubbed his temples in a defeated manner. „For…many, many years now…“ He admitted

Wow, that was longer then she had expected. It really got him hard it seemed.

„Still, if I told you. You’ll think I got crazy, you couldn’t possible understand…“

„Aw, cut it out Scrooge. I already do believe you are crazy if that is of any help. I kinda expect the woman you choose to be one hell of a kind.“ She sighed exhausted and put on a smile again. „I don’t care whom it is, I won’t judge you on that. If it is what your heart desires, it’s fine with me. I told you, we are friends!“

Scrooge looked at the woman from his past. She sure knew a thing or two about him, maybe she could understand…

„After today it even sounds more crazy then ususal, the woman I desire above all others, was among the attackers today…“ Just thinking of the fierce witch made him smile. He gazed out of the window into the sky with a longing look in his eyes.

„Magica de Spell…“ Her name tasted bitter sweet on his lips.

Even though Goldie had suspected that, she still was a little surprised now. Anyhow, she stood true to her words of not blaming him for his heart desires.

„Well, I could be offended that you choose a witch over the star of the north…But honestly, I am not. You are right about me not beeing able to fully understand it though. I live far away, I hardly get any news about whats happening in Duckburg. And in the cases your fight with her was big enough to make it across the world, I can hardly find her lovable.“

Scrooge drooped, she saw sadness in his eyes. He wasn’t ashamed of his feelings for that woman. Just dissapointed she couldn’t see why. It gave her a little pang to the heart as she realized that he already loved Magica more, then he ever loved her. On the other hand, this was just silly envy. She didn’t even wanted him anymore. It was her pride speaking up here. But this was not the time for selfishness.

„But I know you Scrooge, I know what kind of characteristics you admire. If what I saw today was just a glimpse of her personality…then I wonder why you are not already married to her!“

He chuckled a little at that but his smile was sad.

„Because she hates me. She want’s nothing from me, but my first dime. And who could blame her? What should such a powerfull woman like her have to do with an old miser like me? Not to speak of how beautiful she is…“ His sigh was heartbreaking. „No, if I tell her, I will lose her forever. Even if I can’t have her heart. I wont give up on our fights. She is the salt of my life, the dew of my mornings, the sun of my afternoons. Without her, my life would be boring and sad. All my other rivals are mere tiresome. Only she, is a match for me.“

Goldie gasped at him. „Wow, you did change a bit Scrooge. Back in the times you could have never spoken so open about what you feel…“

He looked away with red cheeks.

„You truly are in love with her!“ She gave him a warm, comforting smile. „I am happy for you, even though it’s onesided at the moment.“

„And I do feel better after telling you. But please…“ He started.

„I wont tell anyone about it,  I promise! But if you want my advise: At least tell her! If she really is just after your dime, it will not change a thing. But if she do care for you aswell, it’s your only way to find out. Don’t repeat your same mistakes all over again! Be honest! There aren’t many people who wouldn’t want to hear such words you just spoke.“ She winked at him as she stood up.

„I wish you all the best Scrooge McDuck.“

„You too Goldie O‘ Glit. And thank you!“

„Your welcome!“ She waved goodbye as she left his office. Leaving Scrooge alone with his thoughts about a certain, raven haired witch. But he felt a little lighter in his heart, now that he had told someone about it.

 A gentle rapping on his window made him jump. He couldn’t believe his eyes, as the very woman he thought about was floating on her broom right outside his window. She didn’t made any attempt to break in or pull off some magic. She just sat there, eyes on him, waiting patiently for his actions.

He hesitated, was she already about to continue their fight for his dime? Even after today? Why wasn’t she in africa? Looked like she didn’t took his advice after all. But she seemed calm, with an indefinable look on her face.

He took a deep breath and opend the window for her.

Gracefully she flew inside and came to a stand right in front of him. „Hi Scroogie, I got something for you.“ She greeted with her usual smirk. He quirked an eyebrow at her but was at a loss for words at the moment. She threw something small at him and he catched it automatically. He now held a small, foreign coin in his hand.

„Thought you might want it as sort of revenge. Thats Glomgolds Number one coin. After you gave me the hint, I decided it was a good way to break partnership with him.„ She grined evil. „Anyhow, I know you well enough to understand you already had a plan at hand to win the fight against Grandpa Beagle. So I took his grandsons with me on that mission and let them have a good deal of good old Flinthearts fortune. I never believed he would stay richest man in the world long enough for me to melt that coin anyway. Also…“

She hesitated a little and shuffled her feet on the ground in a nervous manner till she looked up at him again.

„Also, it wouldn’t have been the same. There is no satisfaction in melting that amulet, if it is not your first coin I use…“

She actually blushed a little at that and for some reason he did aswell. Her words where in no way embarrassing, still he felt his cheeks grew warm.

„You came back just for that? You could have been caught. There is still police outside…“ Scrooge stared at her. Something felt off here, still he could feel a warm happinez in his heart for seeing her again so soon.

The witch just shrugged „Pff, as if those incompetend fools could catch me.“

She looked down, clearly contemplating what to do next. Scrooge watched how the sunlight reflected on her raven hair as it felt down arround her face.

„I am sorry…“ he suddenly heard a soft whisper from her. She looked up and he gasped a little. There was no cheek or hate in her eyes for once. Just honest feelings, and it made her look so much more beautiful that he couldn’t fully comprehent her grace.

„It was wrong to team up with your other rivals. This is a fight just among you and me. Thats why I came back to bring you that coin. It was supposed to be some kind of apology or gift...“

Her soft expression changed a bit, but he couldn’t tell into what.

„…but I guess, you got your most wished anniversary present already. I…“ She swallowed a bit. „I just saw her leave the bin…“

Scrooge was so captured by her that he didn’t catch on at once. „What?“

Magica sneered at him „Don’t play dumb Scroogie. I know everything about you. That was Goldie O‘ Glit that just left your office. Your old…flame from Klondike days…“

Her voice sounded so bitter now, somewhat angry. Was she..?

„Well, can not compete with that…“ She laughed dryly but didn’t looked amused at all.

„What did she do?“ she asked in a hushed voice. „Did…did she…OH WHAT DO I EVEN CARE?!? See you next time Scroogie!“

All off sudden she turned around in a fury and made her way to the still open window.

That ripped Scrooge finaly from his daze. He managed to capture her wrist before she could raise on her broom. Magica was surprised by his actions, after a short struggle she ended up with her back pressed to the wall, with Scrooge holding her arm next to her head against the wall aswell. He withdrew immediately. „I am sorry, I didn’t meant to hurt you.“

Magica just looked aside and tried to sink deeper into the wall behind her „What are you doing you old fool?“ She hissed, her cheeks starting to blush. Her hair was messed up a little thanks to the sudden movements before. She looked so beautiful, Scrooge couldn’t keep his eyes from her. His heart was screaming, he just couldn’t stand it anymore. He took a small step forward and leaned his forearms, on each side of her, on the wall. Not touching her at all. He just gazed deep into her eyes. His own face flushing with heat.

„Please don’t leave…“ he whispered.

Magicas breath came quickly but her gaze didn’t waver as she locked eyes with him.

„Nothing happend between me and Goldie. I stopped her…“ He swallowed hard, not sure if he should continue. The beauiful onyx eyes from the witch infront of him drew him nearer and nearer to her. The intensity of her gaze increasing any passing second.

He finaly gave in, closing the small distance between their beaks, he touched his lips deeply to hers in a fleet kiss.

„I just want you…“ he hushed into her ear before he let go and withdrew a bit to give her some space. She just gaped at him with wide eyes.

He scoldet himself. What was he thinking?

„I am sorry Magica…It wasn’t right of me to do that without your permission…I just…couldn’t help myself. But that doesn’t make it less wrong…“ He hung his head in shame.

Suddenly she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, drewing him closer. Her eyes piercing into his very soul.

„Why are you doing this? Are you making fun of me? Who thought the great Scrooge McDuck was such an sadistic ass.“ Her glare was full of anger and pain. So much pain.

„M…Magica…“ Scrooge stared at angry tears that where gathering in the corners of her eyes. She doesn’t seem to be angry that he kissed her, but that she thought it was only for fun? What does that mean?

„I am not making fun of you!“ He layed his hands on top of hers, which still were clutched onto his jacket. „I meant it…“ He raised one hand to stroke her cheek, slowly drewing her closer. Leaving her enough space this time, to reject. Their beaks where only millimeters appart as she let her eyes fall close in an accepting manner.

He kissed her again. Longer this time. Deeper, with all the passion he built up for this woman over the years. Softly stroking her neckfeathers in the act.

His heart pounded like crazy, he expected to be blastet away by some magic any second. It was thrilling and only made him want the witch in front of him more.

But the blast never came. The kiss was driving him crazy. His hands begun to wander on their own. Fully embracing her.

Magicas hands relaxed. Instead of ripping into his jacket, they where now roaming over his chest. Closer, he wanted to drew her even closer to his body.

Their mouths where open a little, and their tounges touching in the heated kiss now and then. It sends electric sparks through his body everytime.

Closer. So much closer…

But finally he felt her pushing him away a bit. Gentle, but final.

„Please Scrooge…we need to stop…“

She hold his head in both of her hands while looking deep into his eyes. Both their faces where flushed with passion and lust. Eyes dark and shimering.

„Like this, we would only rush things, that shouldn’t be rushed…“

He could tell she had struggle with her own arguments, body betraying her reason. Still, her eyes where determined. And he knew she was right. If they made a mistake now, they would never be able to talk about this properly. Cause beside all that passion, what he felt for her in his heart, was pure and strong.

But it wasn’t the time yet, to give it a name in the open.

Magica leaned forward to give him one last kiss. Soft and gentle this time. Holding back feelings that where to much right now.

„Happy anniversary Scroogie Darling.“ She said with a smile. „I will be back soon and then…“

She left open what would happen then. Scrooge only knew, he couldn’t wait for it. Would count the hours, till he saw her again.

She raised her broom and left with a last smile in his direction. Her cheeks still blushing she looked like a dark angel in he sky. With her raven hair fluttering in the wind.

For a long time Scrooge just gazed after her. A contend sigh escaping him now and then. Finally he got back to work, in the best mood he had since a very long time.

 As Donald and Gyro passed by on their Flying Bike they could hear a happy tune coming from the open window in the money bin.

[tswatch]

I am getting a bit tired of this. I am other/fiction kin and I use it as a way to cope with depression and anxiety. I'm 16 and will be 17 later this year. I been mocked by an EX friend who was older than me for choosing a life style. Saying it was "cancer" and that I need "help". They blocked me. It's hurtful, because my life has been rather dark, grim and unhappy. I always been rather downhearted, and tend to make gashes on my face or arms due to it... advise?

Hey,

we apologize for the late answer, how have you been doing since you send us this message?

I am honest with you, I have my opinion on otherkin and fictionkin and it’s rather ambivalent and it really depends on the individual and their situation. But all in all I have nothing against it. Just so you are aware of this, but please remember this is just my opinion and my opinion should not matter to you too much. I am just one out of a million and more people.

Let’s start with your former friend. I am really sorry that they hurt you so much, this is not okay, this is not fair of them and they are clearly not aware of how badly words can hurt someone. Don’t listen to their words. Just like I said before, one person out of so many other peple, their opinion should not matter to you, there are so many people out their who love you and will love you for who you are. There will always be people in our lives that try to make us down, but there will be people who will love us unconditionally as well.

That brings me to my next point, all of us will meet people who will make us down for something, for something and it doesn’t even matter what. People will use the weirdest reasons to excuse their behaviour. If someone does something different than they do, they make them down. If someone doesn’t like what they do, they will make them down. If someone deals with something they have no experience with, they will make them down. Someone could not like the colour green and get called annoying for that. Someone could make a cake different than someone else and they called stupid for that. Someone could suffer from a mental disorder that someone else has no experience with and they get called a psycho. Someone could not like the band someone else does and gets called a loser.

My point is, it doesn’t matter how ridiculous the reason seems, people will always find something that annoys them and they will make someone else down. Why do they do it? Most likely because they have problems on their own, because they are desperate, because they hurt others to cope with their feelings, because they just don’t understand the other person.

You are not cancer and we all need help with things. But I think you need help with your depression and anxiety, not for using otherkin and fictionkin as a way to cope with it. Which brings me to the next point. Are you harming someone with being otherkin or fictionkin? No. Is this helping you to deal with negative emotions? Yes. So why the hell should you stop with it or change it? You seem aware of the fact why you do this and that you are actually a human, not a dragon, a wolf or a fictional character. Here is where my personal opinion comes in, as long as it helps someone to deal with things, a long as it makes someone feel good, as long as they are still aware of the reality, everything is cool. However I talked to people where this got out of hand and they were not aware of reality anymore and of how things really are and that is where I say they need help. But even then, who am I to judge, if they are happy with how things are and no other people get harmed with it, why should they change something? Just because I say so or someone else? No.

That is a topic I could probably talk about forever, but before this reply gets way to long I will stop right here. I think I made my point clear and I hope you understand what I mean.

Back to your former friend, don’t listen to them, you are lovable, you are amazing, you are beautiful, you are important, you deserve to be happy and alive.

There is something else that I would like to talk about. You said that because of all the things happening in your life you harm yourself.

I know that harming yourself seems like a way to cope with negative feelings, but it is not. It may help for a short moment, but after that you will feel like you messed up and you won’t feel good about this at all. Self harm only causes more problems and makes life harder than it already is.

There are better ways to cope, ways that are healthier and will help you so much better over a long period of time. Learning these ways may not be easy, you will fall back into old habits, you will feel like the new ways don’t actually help, but they need practice. A lot of practice. You will get used to them in time, you will see them help in time, you will find the right things to do in time. Keep trying, even if it’s a long and hard way.

Depending on how strong the urge to harm yourself is, you can try different things. The stronger the urge, the more things you should do in a row for the urge to stop.

Let’s start with a small urge to harm yourself. When you feel that, you should try to distract yourself, usually that will make the urge go away so that you can think clear again. Here are some ideas what you can do.

•  Listen to music or sounds of the nature•  Sing•  Play instruments or learn a new instrument•  Watch a funny movie•  Read a book•  Paint•  Draw•  Paint your nails•  Go out for a walk•  Listen to the sound it makes when you walk over stones or leaves•  Write down your feelings or good memories•  Make some origami•  Call or skype with a friend•  Dress up or try on old clothes•  Write creatively•  Talk to someone•  Do some sport•  Eat or drink something delicious•  Do some baking•  Make funny faces in a mirror and take pictures•  Read inspirational speeches• Learn a magic trick •  Mess up your room•  Watch some videos on Youtube•  Clean your room•  Learn something new like knitting or how to make a Tumblr theme •  Go to the zoo and name all of the animals•  Jump up and down, do rope jumping, or jump on a trampoline or your bed•  Meditate or do some Yoga•  Play a game•  Go shopping•  Recite a favourite monologue•  Watch the sky•  Do a puzzle, crossword or sudoku•  Meet up with friends•  Sleep •  Do your homework•  Watch your favourite TV program/show•  Make up a roleplay about something you’d like to happen•  Play with a pet•  Have a bath or a shower •  Make a scrapbook•  Decorate your wall with inspirational quotes•  Dance around your room like an idiot•  Make a new Tumblr blog•  Color your hair•  Leave nice messages in someone’s askbox•  Take some pretty pictures outside•  Get your friends and family and play board games •  Tie a small string or a rope into knots •  Make a tiny gift for your best friend •  Make a bucket list •  Smile to at least 5 people, bonus points if they are strangers •  Go out and perform one act of kindness •  Watch how the wind makes the leaves of the trees move. •  Do volunteer work •  Give your blog a makeover •  Write a letter to a friend •  Donate all the clothes you don’t like anymore •  Go to a park and sit on the swings, be a little kid again •  Plan your outfits for the week •  Give someone a hug •  Simply relax, and enjoy your life

Here are websites to distract yourself.

• The Quiet Place • Relax Exercise • Thouhts Room • Dawn Room • Pixel Thoughts 60 Seconds Relaxation• Emotional Baggage Check• Automatic Flatterer • Silk• Neon Flames • Painting• Sand• Stickman• Koala Mosaic• Sunshine and Rain• Rainy Mood• Mood Turn• Magic Button• Secret Door• Geo Guesser• Make some Music• Soundrown• The Colour Game• The Universe• Free Rice• Watch A Dream• Imagination• Make Music With Circles• Make Music With ToneMatrix• Fatal to the Flesh (Trigger Warning)• Play Super Mario• Cute Online Games

Try out a few things and see what helps you the best. Once you found things that help you, write them down, keep these things close to you in a box or something so you can do them right away when you feel like harming yourself.

If the urge gets stronger and simple distractions don’t help anymore, try to do things that help you to get out your emotions like anger, sadness, fear or guilt. Here are some things you can do.

• Scream really loud into a pillow• Let yourself cry• Go to an open space and shout all the things you hate right now• Scribble on photos of people in magazines• Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines• Throw a ball/stone/ice cube etc. against a wall• Listen to music and sing along loudly• Beat up a stuffed animal or a pillow• Blow up balloons and pop them• Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it• On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do;cut and tear the picture• Write your feelings on paper, then rip it up or burn it• Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at;cut and tear it instead of yourself• Break sticks or old things you don’t need anymore• Cut up fruits• Pull weeds in the garden• Put on nail polish, then peel it off• Splash your face with cold water• Slash an empty plastic soda bottle, or a piece of heavy cardboard, or an old shirt or sock• Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming •The Butterfly Project: Draw a butterfly on the place(s), where you would like to harm yourself.If the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away,it’s like giving a sense or feeling of achievement.Whereas if you do harm yourself with the butterfly there, you killed to butterfly.If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on.You are not allowed to wash of the butterfly, it has to fade on its own.You can also name the butterfly after someone you love.•Think of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you]and write their name on the place(s) where you want to harm yourself.When you want to harm yourself, remember how much they careand how they wouldn’t want you, to harm yourself.• Talk to someone about how you feel• Create a safe place to go• Try to imagine the future and plan things, you want to do• Make a list of all the positive things in your life• List all the reasons, why you don’t want to harm yourself• Remember why you want to recover

Try out as many things and possible and try to figure out what helps you the most. Once you did this, keep the things that help you on a list or keep them in a box close to you, so that you have access to them right away. When you feel a stronger urge coming, do 1-2 things of the stuff named above and then distract yourself with 1-2 of the listed distractions.

When you get a really, really bad urge to harm yourself, try alternatives to harming yourself. These will either trick your brain into thinking there is blood when there is no real blood, or by making yourself feel something. Doing some of the alternatives, you can even feel some kind of pain, but it doesn’t harm you in a bad way. Here are some examples.

• Draw red lines on the places you want to cut, or use red watercolor,and put it on the place where you want to cut; it will look like it’s bleeding• Viciously stab an orange or an apple• Eat something really sour• Do sport, like running, strength training, jumping on a trampoline,dancing etc., until you are completely exhausted• Take a hot/cold shower or bath• Drink freezing cold water• Wax your legs or plug your eyebrows• Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root• Rub ice across your skin, where you want to harm yourself,or hold it in your hands• Put rubber bands on wrists, arms, or legs and snap them

Like with the things before, try them out and see what helps you the most. Make sure you have fast access to them. When you feel this really strong urge, start for example with a cold shower, then scream into a pillow or tear apart paper, and then distract yourself with something.

Make sure to write the things that help you down, so you don’t have to start thinking about what to do with yourself everytime you get the urge to self harm.

If you feel like you cannot deal with all of this on your own, please reach out for help. There are people out there able and willing to help you.

Take care of yourself!

- Belle

[animeride-blog]

My Top 10 Favorite Waifus In Anime https://animeride.com/lists/6590/my-top-10-favorite-waifus-in-anime/ #AquaAndKazuma, #BallroomEYoukosho, #ErinaNakiri, #HajimeteNoGirl, #LucyHeartfilia, #Mila, #Noragami, #OnePiece, #Reiju, #UtahaKasumigaoka, #YumekoJabami

New Post has been published on https://animeride.com/lists/6590/my-top-10-favorite-waifus-in-anime/

My Top 10 Favorite Waifus In Anime

Hi everyone. This is my personal list of favorite waifus. I love these 10 women most of all. Most of them are very new to our viewers. Plese comment your top 10 Waifus in Comments.

10 ) Miia

Anime : Monster Musume 

Coming at my list at number 10 is the lovable Miia, I remember the first time I started Monster Musume. I did not expect much, but I was intrigued from the get go with how forward Miia was. She was always so care free, and never seemed shy whenever she can do things with her caretaker. Being a monster girl you couldn’t really imagine a human wanting to be with her romantically, but their are just some assets you can’t ignore in some cases. If Monster Musume wasn’t a harem, I would want Mia to be the one our MC falls in love with. Sadly we can only be teased since most harems never progress into anything special. Last but not least that tail is beautiful! One day I hope we get a season two, but as of now I guess I can only enjoy seeing Miia in manga form.

9 ) Lucy Heartfilia

Anime : Fairytail 

One of the most talked about characters in Fairly Tail till this very day. I can’t fathom how anyone could possibly dislike Lucy, from her personality, appearance, and friendships she has build as a member of fairy tail as time progressed. I always loved her friendly side, even if her back story was kinda generic living as a rich girl throughout her years, to put her life on the line takes guts. I know I wasn’t the only one to ship her with Natsu from day one, you can automatically feel the spark between them, its just Masahiro constantly had to tease us into thinking that NaLu would be a reality. One kiss between them would have been enough for me to ask for, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be. In my opinion it seemed like every season Lucy’s beauty kept on getting growing! Lucy come to the real world. ‘-‘)

8 )  Aqua

Anime : Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku wo! 

Without certain one of my favorite female characters in anime, Aqua is truly in her own league among st the rest. From her childish nature, to always somehow getting her party members in danger, I love everything that makes her shine. Their were times in which Aqua has shown to be useful in certain situations, sadly it would get overlooked since it would result in more bad outcomes than good almost all the time. Throughout the hardships she always seem to be happy most the time, I doubt at this point she really wants to go back to deciding people’s choice after death all alone. The world of adventure is the perfect fit for here, also her revival spell is lit, I wish I could use that in the real world. Kazuma should not be afraid to die now, knowing that he will just be revived by this valuable water goddess waifu!

7 ) Reiju

Anime : One Piece 

Vinsmoke Reiju, also known as “Poison Pink”, is the eldest child and only daughter of the Vinsmoke Family, making herSanji’s elder sister. She is also the princess of the Germa Kingdom and a commander in its military arm, Germa 66.

Reiju is a slim young woman with shoulder-length light pink hair (darker pink in the anime), covering her right eye and curling upwards at the tips. She also has purple eyes (blue in the anime), and occasionally wears light pink lipstick. Like all the Vinsmoke siblings, she has distinctive curly eyebrows that form a spiral resembling the number “6”. However, unlike her brothers Sanjiand Yonji, her eyebrows appear to swirl symmetrically in opposing directions.[6] Both of her thighs are tattooed with a number “6”

 6 )  Bishamon

Anime : Noragami

Where could you go wrong with a woman like this. As they say the mature ones or sometimes the best compared to the rest! Bishamon’s courageous actions really caught my eye, taking on all those regalia as her own must have been painful. Still she overcame that pain because of how much she cared for all of their lives. If Hiyori never existed I would ship her with Yato mainly due to their complicated relationship. Like Bishamon hates him, but still shows signs that she cares about him in more ways than just a regular friend. Haven’t caught up too the manga, but with my chance to see both seasons I have come to understand their relationship better. I hope one day they could even start a family together, but I may be stretching it a bit. Also Bishamon is really strong to the point where I would be afraid to confront her one on one. She seems clueless in love, so she’s an easy prey for me to snatch up for myself. Wouldn’t want to get on her bad side.

5 ) Yukana

Anime : Hajimete no Girl 

Best girl for summer anime of 2017! I can’t cherish how much I enjoyed her character. To the eyes of many I bet most people views her as a slut who is just looking for casual hookups. Well you were completely wrong for those that assumed that, Yukana is a pure hearted girl who just wants to fall in love, and enjoy her life to the fullest. Her teasing never got old, and I couldn’t wait to see more of her after the episode finished. Safe to say I only

watched Hajimete no Gal due to her alone. I’m glad we got to see a different side to her towards the end of the anime. Her crying over a possible break up truly emphasizes the love she held for Junichi is in fact real. Bases on the ending of the anime it looks like I’ll have to read the manga as of now for more Yukana!

4 ) Shizuku

Anime : Ballroom e Youkosho

Shizuku Hanaoka  is a first year student in Highschool and an amateur dancer at Ogasawara Dance Studio. She is so damm sexy. As a dancer she has great physique. Also here curves and long graceful neck.

Shizuku is perfect waifu material for me. She is understanding and a well versed dancer. Her chemistry with Kyoharu is so great and i just love her decency .

3) Erina Nakiri

Anime : Food Wars 

The ultimate female chef is hard to not love! Erina is a child on the outside, but in the inside she is talented unlike no other. Her cooking skills have me locked on figuring out what makes her have such a Queen aura surrounding her. I have a sense that almost everyone except for Soma, and some others aren’t afraid to challenge her to a shokugeki match. I have shipped Erina with Souma till this very day, sadly though since this series is a shounen it won’t ever happen. One can dream, but my hopes aren’t too high. Wouldn’t hurt to make Erina be more cutesy around Souma. Funny how his dad is the one she has always looked up to at this very point. Haven’t read the manga in a while since season 3 is almost here!! So pumped to see Erina again in Food Wars, shoot more foodgasms for the win!

2 ) Yumeko Jabami

Anime : Kakegurui 

Attractive, smooth as silk, and silver-tongued, Yumeko is a natural-born gambler. Gathering the attention of her peers and the entire student council, there’s no denying she enjoys the attention she receives. Despite all odds in a gambling match, she somehow manages to turn the tables in the most daring ways, often times using her perceptiveness to decipher her opponent’s tricks.

Yumeko has pale skin, long black hair styled with a hime-cut and brown colored eyes. Her eyes are sometimes seen turning red in the anime and manga when she becomes excited. She wears the Hyakkaou Private Academy issued uniform; a red blazer with black trim lining the cuffs and collar, a white button up dress shirt, a dark pleated skirt, a tie and black/grey colored stockings. As well as the academy’s issued footwear, brown colored loafers with black soles. She also sports red lipstick and has red painted fingernails (sometimes seen pink). She wears a ring around her left thumb.

1 ) Utaha Kasumigaoka 

Anime : Saenai Heroine no Sodatekata 

Last but not least we have Utaha as my number one! This on my part was difficult to decide between her, and Darkness. But with the conclusion of season 2 for both parties my choice became easy after what Utaha pulled off on the low. With the use of this anime making fun of harem anime’s while being one as well suited Utaha perfectly. From being one of the most popular girls, and falling in love with an otaku named Tomoya. Love can appear out of no where sometimes, they may not have been childhood friends. I ship both of them compared to the other girls solely due to Utaha’s don’t give a dam actions. From sleeping with him in a hotel, to her womanly assets almost being exposed, no event is ever detrimental to her end goal. I could be wrong, but her end goal is basically to write her stories to appeal to Tomoya’s desires. Season two left a lot for me to remember on why I made the right choice in Utaha being my personal number one favorite. Morning Utaha, time to expose Tomoya so he can be your slave now with that lewd evidence!

  So who’s your favorite anime waifu ? Comment your favorite Anime waifu in the comments !