#because they don't want to offend me
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I hate my brain sometimes. Yesterday night I finished a drawing of one of my players' VtM character and for the whole process (it took me a few days, I'm slow and have very little free time) I was so excited to show it to her and now that it's done I just... don't want to show it to her anymore. Because posting stuff on here, where no one sees it, it's one thing; but going up to a specific person and saying "hey look at this, I made it for you" is terrifying and even after all these years I still can't bring myself around to doing it. So I guess it's just going to stay on here, for my peace of mind.
#Daken.txt#I've always been like this#I'm scared of people going 'oh you made this specifically for me? cool. anyway.' and ignoring my hard work#or even worse; of people feeling obliged to pretend they like what I drew even though they obviously don't#because they don't want to offend me#because no one in their right mind can sincerely like what I do#because it's obviously not good and even I know that; I'm not that stupid#but yeah still#I don't even know why I keep drawing for other people if this always happens to my stupid brain#okay I'll shut up now#delete later
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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Shoutout (🔪) to whatever metaphysical force decided that the guy interrupting my set at the gym to ask for my number happened to do it while I was listening to Never Ever Getting Rid Of Me from the Waitress.
I want to say that he was a nice enough dude, but also, replies that did not dissuade this man:
Three sets left.
No, I'm actually not interested in men.
I don't date, actually.
I'm too busy to even really make friends, to be honest.
I don't like to give my number out to strangers.
I don't have Snapchat... I don't really do socials.
Haha, I don't think anyone in my generation really uses Facebook.
Oh, I only really use my work email.
No shade, you're an attractive dude, but I don't date.
Maybe if we see each other around again.
The answer that finally worked:
Sure, just tell me your email and I will write it down.
(This is, not coincidentally, the only answer that worked on the guy that I ignored when he catcalled before he then sat outside my work for two hours waiting for me to come out and then followed me several blocks to my bus stop.) (They do not take "no" for an answer, only a variation of "yes" that you plan to throw away as soon as they leave.)
#personal#dear diary#if you are not asking me about sets or working in#or possibly wanting to fist bump me because it's the first time you've seen me benching the 45 plates#please don't 🥲#and goddamn do not interrupt anybody's sets ever oh my god#unless they are actively in danger if you do not do so#this is the first time someone's actually interrupted my set lmao i'm like surprisingly offended by that specifically
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If you are a "social drinker" and you immediately feel attacked by sober people existing. You actually need help. That's not healthy.
#original post#sobriety#sober#alcohol free#teetotaler#straight edge#I had a PROFESSIONAL PHD PSYCHOLOGIST yesterday get offended that I told her that I don't drink because it's literally a poison#a DOCTOR of MENTAL HEALTH got UPSET because I pulled the veil on her special adult juice#that was the whole point of the appointment BTW. alcohol is bad and it makes me want to KMS so I went to her to get help in not KingMS.#anyway.
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i stand with you in the face of a defensive misunderstanding of what critique is.
i think understanding what a critique actually is is a skill that increasingly is not taught. i remember going through freshman art courses feeling the frustration that all negative, nasty, unhelpful, and missed-the-point-entirely feedback is so commonly conflated with critique, and then critique gets a bad name because everyone remembers the time someone said their painting looked like an asshole (true story, altho now i think i would take it as a compliment) instead of the time a teacher or friend or classmate helped them uncover a hurtful bias or think of new ways to explore the same idea or how to connect it to related ideas or how to look up and understand other people's ideas on the same topic.
anyway i think you're great.
ahhh you're so kind to me!! i appreciate your support, and i think you are great also.
i have experience with giving and receiving critique as a student myself, and i think it was the best part of my degree! i majored in creative writing in college, and critique was just a generally accepted part of learning to become a writer. i don't even remember people being especially worried about receiving critique on their work. we had guidance on what kind of feedback was useful, but we were still at liberty to give it as we saw fit as like messy 19 year olds. the standard was that we gave it both written on printed copies of the work AND aloud in front of the whole class, and the writer receiving it was not permitted to speak during the critique. understanding how people are perceiving your work is important!
i don't have any particularly negative recollections of the critique process, although once in a high school writing class, the boys in the class told me that my male characters touched each other too gently and real boys are more rough with each other. in particular, they took issue with me writing that one boy nudged another. nudging is too soft. nudging is for girls. that was more than 20 years ago, and i still think about it sometimes because it was such an interesting perspective! i did not take their advice, though.
i should dig up that piece and see if it reads queer in any other ways. i think that's what they were getting at. (actually i once had a non-fiction class tell me i was in love with my roommate after reading an essay i wrote about her)(i did not listen to that advice either, but having 12 acquaintances tell you that you're gay in 2006 before you realize it yourself is Truly Something!)
i think people have conflated criticism and critique and think that being more openly analytical is the same thing as being negative. but analysis is so fun to me! analysis is why i joined fandom in the first place, and it's why i write fic! can we trust each other to be respectful and to speak in good faith even when we're not singing each other's praises? for me fandom would be better if we could.
oh i also want to clarify that i don't think it's impossible to demonstrate that you've thought deeply about a piece of fanwork while remaining completely positive. people do it all the time and do it very well!
i know i sometimes have tunnel vision wrt my own perspective. in a lot of situations, i wish it were more acceptable to be more direct, and i know people sometimes find the way i express myself to be kind of shocking. i know a lot of people like to be spoken to more indirectly than comes natural to me, and i don't mean to imply that my perspective is the only correct one or that there's no good reason to err on the side of gentleness/politeness in our responses to amateur art and writing. i just think that at a certain level of circumspection, it feels like we're all holding each other at arm's length.
i think for people who can't bear to feel exposed, making and sharing art is always going to be painful and difficult, and maybe too painful and difficult to enjoy the process unless they're sure of a soft landing. but like. the rewards of being loved only come after the mortifying ordeal of being known, right?
#ten years ago i had a comment section diagnose me with autism and they were RIGHT. and they loved me!!!!#my portfolio advisor told me that my main character was having a mental breakdown and it made all the people around her seem Villainous#for how selfishly they treated her#and i didn't realize that things seemed so dire for her but i needed to know that in order to make the story make sense!#it wasn't a mean thing to say it was just pointing out something i couldn't see! ik it was different because it was a draft tho#'looks like an asshole' makes me desperately want to see that painting#i didn't know that you're also a visual artist and i'm longing to see your work#there's this movie called igby goes down#where someone tells the main character that they're an artist and he says so do you paint?#and the character responds an artist creates art regardless of what form it takes#and i think the audience is meant to consider that character unbearably pretentious but i totally agree#it has also just occurred to me that some people are nervous about commenting on other people's work#to the extent that they're afraid they'll commit some kind of unintentional faux pas or just leave a disappointing comment#and i get that because you're also kind of sharing yourself by leaving feedback#and you don't want to offend or hurt someone who's created something that resonated with you#idk i guess stepping on people's toes is just a normal part of interacting with them#and almost never fatal
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#Me 5 days ago:#'i hate xenos and I don't want them in my party - maybe just Marazhai because he looks fun but that's it'#Me now:#'I'd kill entire galaxies for this little Eldar girl - first one who tries to offend her will meet their end'#Warhammer 40k rogue trader#Yrliet
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#madness combat#madcom oc#my oc#atp soldat#the soldat in the dark (tm) actually cares about his bro#a lot#but he just can't get sad when he warned him about this shit nonstop#no id#The bitten guy just acts too friendly because his program made him too altruistuc and kind#Which sometimes helps since he is one who recruits workers#Well#Probably it's more benefitial most of the time#But he gets in shit like “oh i just wanted to help civilian get out from dangerous location and they stabbed me :(((”#And he ain't bullied for it by anyone but his bro. He is too... Kinda. Uh. Hard to bully guy who is most safest option to talk with auditor#And not die lol. It also doesn't help that he is guy who knows all of the AAHW by names and will kick you hard for bullying anyone#So bullying him is a privilege of some atp soldats#not an option :D#Other soldat here is just walking anger issues and he got no friends other than his bro. Constantly lashes at anyone. The Bitten™ included#So they're got that dynamic of angry antisocial cynical guy and pessimist & optimistic kind dude (well#(well he got a lot of mental issues too#But doesn't show it and never let it hurt others.)#And he is much older than the pessimist :'D#Pessimist guy is very young actually. But just experienced shit nonstop from birthday and lost very much everyone he cared about#And the second one... just atp soldat with no past. never known any other thing than work in AAHW and orders. Easy to manipulate#He also gets “You're not a real person” a lot for it. And constanly offended by it. But it's a problem of all yellow bloods here#Especially him#since he litterally didn't had a life outside from aahw. Also don't think he wouldn't kick his friends hard for orders.#Kill even. He is a dog for orders first#Kind guy with good morals is only second
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Throwback to when someone referred to me as the matpat of transformers
#very few will remember this because it really happened so casually and also... almost 2 years ago now#in the era I like to refer to as this blog's prime#on a little post someone tagged me in#and I was such a champ about it. I was so normal and did not make a scene#but I think about it at least once a month#it really was so crazy. what did I even do#I still don't know if I should be offended or not. I know it was written to place me in high regards#but that somehow made it hit so much harder#it's the type of thing that happens and you gasp and talk about it in discord but it doesn't feel that crazy. and then you look back and go#I can't believe that was a real thing that was said to me#I can't believe.. if only for a moment.. that is how I exist in someone's mind#Mac mumbles#the titles I was given in 2021... the range#chill laid back guy#bug in a jar anon wants to study#uptight annoying prick#insane individual trying to pass off as a chill laid back guy#<- favourite one btw#and lastly#the matpat of transformers#what an era
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mayor, dear, aren't you happy? you finally got your date/brunch with Macaque :D
MASTER POST
Asks Start 💙💜🩷
Previous 💙💜🩷
Next 💙🩷
#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#monkie kid macaque#lmk macaque#lmk mayor#monkie kid mayor#blue and violet#these are definitely not the circumstances that Mayor would have wanted for a brunch date#honestly in a way they actually low-key don't want to be here#but they are here anyways because they always keep their word#and also they have to indulge in the fact that Macaque practically called them begging for help#unfortunately this is not a date#Macaque is very offended lmao#every single time I make Macaque say 'excuse me'-#-just know that I'm always making a reference to the meme with Link from the legend of Zelda saying “well EXCUUUUSE ME PRINCESS”#every single time bear that in mind#thats always the vibe I'm going for
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had a conversation with my mother yesterday in which she was very clearly looking for reasons to be convinced I'm going to lose my job any minute (taking vacation time, spending too much time on performing arts, enrollment being down because of FAFSA issues, just being generally unsightly) and it really makes me feel like confirming her priors about education and Liberal Hypocrisy and nobody wanting to look at fat people is more important to her than my continued success and happiness in life
#sigh#she has spent my whole life telling me that everyone is out to take advantage of me#and that no one would ever want me around just for my own sake#except of course my immediate family#who generally do precisely nothing to make me feel that they don't find me gross and embarrassing and generally incompetent#(there's always a lot of 'well *i* don't think you're gross and useless and unbearable to be around but i know what other people think!'#anyway i am in a bad mood this morning exacerbated by the sidewalk between the parking garage and my workplace being blocked off for repair#ALSO LIKE#she has exactly the same kind of generalized anxiety i have#albeit expressed very differently#and also: everyone around her enables it#if she is worried about something?#it is EVERYONE'S PROBLEM#and because i struggled a lot in my twenties and thirties#this usually means i am everyone's problem#also she gets really offended when her adult children want to get away from the household and lead independent lives#which is why my sisters are her faves
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I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.
#personal#tumblr stuff#vent post#spam bots#i've been getting like 1000 spam bot followers a day for the last few days and blocking them all is getting--dare i say--TEDIOUS#wake up. block 300 bots. go to work. come home and block 500 more bots. spend evening checking tumblr to block bots. it's becoming a chore#it's starting to feel like I offended the tumblr gods or something. this is ridiculous. but like hell will i let them win#i won't let my follower count be 50% bots. i feel like a deserve a tumblr badge or something for fending off so many bots.#tribble#the trouble with tribbles#a very apt metaphor i think for these bloody spam bots; block one and five more come to take its place#but upside: the spam bots are helping me compile a Rosetta Stone for the word 'Untitled'. woo#also if you just joined tumblr and want to follow me: for the love of god personalise your bloody blog#i don't care if you have a icon or a summary. if your blog and likes are empty i'm blocking you#because i don't trust empty blogs and i really don't have the time to sort out who's real or not right now#(though if the blog's offering free mp3s 'just click the link!' or is advertising US keto gold coast gummies i know for sure it ain't real)#but hey! good news to people who followed me in the last four days who haven't been blocked; you passed the blog captcha test#anyway just had to get this frustration out of my system; gonna go block some more bots now i guess. i'll be very happy when this stops
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[note: i know for a fact i'm doing this for the same reason that i fixate on nebulous fandom anxieties at other times: helplessness regarding anxieties about larger geopolitical issues]
feeling in a very weird position right now thinking about the fact theres a nonzero chance that either one of the cosplayers ive become acquainted with or someone in their immediate circle could do brownface in the future and people are gonna come at me like 'hey why are you not calling them out and/or giving them a racial sensitivity seminar and/or personally fistfighting them on the floor of the doujin circle event'
#i strongly feel westerners darkening their skin for cosplay are generally doing it in an 'i know this is offensive and dont care' edgy way#but people over here largely Dont Fucking Know because the cultural context behind why it's bad is not there#and i don't...personally feel like it's my job either to educate near-strangers on this or to make a big deal out of how i condemn it#(someone i just met and already became fond of said she wants to dress as a brown character and im already getting nervous#in case she does end up painting her skin and the pics are shared around or come to the attention of the western ppl i know in fandom#imagining people that i know pointing at me and going Hey Ebil You Are Brown. So You Hate Her Now Right? Slash Why Didnt You Stop Her)#cool. great. i wish instead of brown i were Invisible Color#id actually love if eventually people over here did learn more about that through me?#not even in an I Have To Correct Them way. just a cultural exchange way. the way im glad to learn what offends japanese ppl#they might find it interesting and worth knowing! but my ass trying to lecture people right now would absolutely just be...bad. bad.#'oh i just met this american and they seemed cool but then they started going on about how i was offending american values so. gaijins eh'#it's obvious to me nothing constructive would be achieved. i just hope people understand that.#i dunno. i dunno. i dunnoooooo.
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can I be so open and vulnerable with you guys. the card I was given from people at my old office was sincerely so nice and really validating but also I feel like the main impression I left other people with was "she's really nice" WHICH IS GOOD, I DO WANT TO BE KNOWN AS NICE but also part of me is like... should I maybe strive for "innovative" or "creative" or "a go-getter" because being The Nice One just feels a little mealy-mouthed of me y'know?
#I think there is something to be said here for being so averse to conflict and also such a control freak that I spend incalculable energy on#making other people happy/comfortable/cool-with-me so on and so forth#like this has been a problem in past friendships too as I've grown up#and I've noticed it even online like sometimes I'll have A Take and I won't post it because I don't want to be negative about something#that someone else may like or whatever#which is GOOFY because some of my favorite people are those with strong personalities (bc it's a CLEAR VIEW of that person's personality!!)#and yet here I am like "tee hee I'm so nice everyone likes me because I'm nice anyway when I look in a mirror all i see is a blank wall''#lol y'know? and like no I certainly express opinions and express emotions other than Just Being Happy#and also any waylaid attempts at being so neutral as to not offend people uhhhhh don't work. ask me how I know#(I know because people have hated my guts on the internet before lol)#so it's like: this performance is truly for no one but yourself AND!!!! *AND* it's not even good for you because you might not actually be#being your authentic self#anyways I'm afraid to be a hater and also I'm afraid people won't like me so I try hard to make them like me#and THAT leads to me getting a very nice card about how everyone likes me and me inevitably going: but do they know and like the REAL me#lololololololol that's so goofy#anyway kids be yourselves#also what can I say I derive great pleasure from trying to be the nicest person a cashier interacts with on a given day so#idk there's a middle ground to be struck therein and I'm still navigating it
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2023 XVX Fic Recs!
Hi, all, I hope you're having a lovely holiday season! Around the beginning of this year, just for fun, I decided that I would record all of the fanfics that I read this year, and during the summer I had the idea to take some of the best fics I read in 2023 and compile them at the end of the year into a rec list. Since xiaoven was the ship I read the most fics for, I've decided to just do a rec list for them this year, but maybe in the future I'll branch out more!
As with any rec list, please take note of the ratings and the tags for any given fic! Just because something suited my taste doesn't necessarily mean it will suit yours, please take care of yourselves. Now, here are 10* fics that I read this year and think that other xiaoven fans should read too! (Also uh. Sorry for how much I'm about to talk in the reviews lol)
*Keep an eye out for a few bonuses that I've peppered in ;)
~
We Creatures of Fate, by Wackachu
[Ongoing, Teen, 57.9k, 7/?]
Xiao is a weapon forged from red, carved from the hearts of weeping souls and etched into the memories of grieving mothers. While free under the care of a new God, he finds salvation, yet feels as trapped as the day the chains first clamped down onto his wrists. Venti is a God, one born from the wishes of others as opposed to his own. After losing his loved ones, he can't help but feel lost, high on a throne all alone, built upon all things he despised. The two find each other by chance, yet the rest can only be described as fate. ---------- A telling of Xiao and Venti's story with a hefty load of lore
If there is any fic on this list that should be read, it’s this one. I am an absolute sucker for speculative lore when it comes to Genshin, and the picture that the author has assembled of Archon War-era Liyue is absolutely masterful. Within the threads of that beautiful tapestry, they’ve also been interweaving Xiao and Venti’s developing relationship all the way from when they were a newly-freed Adeptus and young Archon respectively. They have a long journey ahead of them (the burn is slow, folks), and I think that said journey is an absolute must-read.
~
Extra Recs: Wackachu has also written two other xiaoven one-shots, which I highly recommend for more bite-size pieces of their excellent taste!
~
the holy light of your single lantern, by boxofcrows (@miralia)
[Complete, Teen, 34k, 6/6]
“Long divided by river and sea, For years we two have failed to meet – And suddenly to find you seems like a dream.” Thousands of years of silence, broken by a single visit.
This fic wrapped up recently, so it’s a great time to go and show it some love! One of my biggest sorrows is that xiaoven is rather lacking in really good canon universe fics compared to other Genshin ships, but this fic managed to fill that hole in my heart. The author does a fantastic job of capturing the way that Xiao and Venti’s conflicting natures and ideals can cause friction between them, all while maintaining the undeniable magnetism that they feel towards each other.
~
Relax In My Arms, by alphaparrot (@aparrotandaqrow)
[Queerplatonic XiaoVen, General Audiences, 5.9k, One-Shot]
As Lantern Rite arrives, Xiao is found exhausted and spent by Qiqi of Bubu Pharmacy, who brings him back to Liyue. Upon awaking, Xiao quickly makes his exit and returns to Wangshu Inn, where Venti is waiting for him on the balcony. Xiao isn't in the mood to party, but maybe a chill hang-out would help him relax. Venti knows just the thing to help Xiao relax and recuperate, and as they both get comfortable, they begin to reflect....
Author's Original Promo Post!
Queerplatonic xiaoven was a flavor of their relationship that I hadn’t tried before this fic, but it really sold me on it. What I’ve always loved about xiaoven so much is the inherent intimacy that can be achieved between them once all of the emotional barriers between them have been stripped away, and I think that those ideas are explored very beautifully here. Xiao and Venti trust and love each other so deeply here, and it shows in every word and touch that they exchange, and I think that it’s a must-read for anyone whose brain chemistry was altered by the ‘Endless Suffering’ trailer (so basically, every xiaoven fan ever lol)
~
i can not save us (but you can), by anemowisp (@sillygirl19)
[Teen, 19.4k, One-Shot]
two boys figure out what the hell they're doing
In the midst of one of the most turbulent times in my life, one particular line in this fic really hit me where it hurt, and it’s one of the few times that I’ve actually cried reading a fic. In my xiaoven-enjoying friend groups, we sometimes call Xiao and Venti old men with teenager problems, which means they don't always work when turned into actual teenagers/young adults with those problems, but I think this fic pulls it off really well.
~
what queer sins stain thy soul, by Anonymous (@sincerelyandyourstruly)
[Mature, 3.2k, One-Shot]
In which Xiao, long-established asexual, learns that identity is not as stable as he’d like to believe.
As an ace person myself, I feel it’s so rare to find a really good asexual character study where the asexuality is actually one of the central focuses of the intimacy taking place (if anyone has any recs of that variety please hit me up!), but I think that this fic pulled that off really well. It also delves into that particular vibe of when one’s identity might be shifting, which can be a really scary thing, but Xiao in this fic is lucky enough to have someone he loves and trusts to support him as he explores his new desires, which was really comforting to read about.
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Where Words Fail, by kavvueh (@kavvueh)
[Complete, Teen, 34k, 12/12]
Author's Original Promo Post!
"You're Barbatos," Xiao repeats breathlessly. The young man in front of him nods. "Yep." "But..." Xiao cuts himself off and tries again. "You're the God of songs and poetry." The Anemo Archon nods his head sagely. "More or less." Xiao fixes Lord Barbatos with the most incredulous look he can manage. "... You're failing Music Theory."
As someone who was also suffering through music theory alongside Venti as this fic was publishing, all of the attention to detail in the musical aspects of this fic absolutely tickled me. But all of that was merely a foundation for a lovely story about a pair of souls finding their partner in a new life. The musical connection that xiaoven have is one of the essential tenets of the ship, and this fic did a beautiful job of using that idea to its fullest potential.
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Extra Rec: kavvueh has recently started publishing a new xiaoven fic with a similar setting, so if you enjoy these kinds of fluffy modern aus, give that one some love as well!
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The Stars in Teyvat are a Lie, and So Is the Sky, by yueyunn
[Complete, Teen, 148.2k, 13/13]
There were several issues that Xiao immediately took with Ningguang’s proposition for him to produce for Barbatos: his other artists had upcoming comebacks and year-end stages that required his attention, he was overworked enough as it were already, and Ningguang was not exactly someone he was looking to do any favors for. While her persistence to overlook all this was one matter, nothing aggravated him more than Ningguang completely ignoring the obstinate fact that he. doesn’t. work. with. idols.
Perhaps I was a bit like Xiao in this fic at the beginning of this year, because I approached the two idol/celebrity aus on my to-read list with open skepticism, and then ended up absolutely adoring them both. What I loved about this fic the most was how much care was put into actually translating the character’s canon backstories into the modern idol au setting. The author clearly has so much love for the characters, and it really shows through in the way that everyone has their chance to shine, even the side characters. This fic also updated recently with 15k words of extras, so it’s a great time to visit or revisit it!
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Extra Rec: gold rush, by underthethousandstars was the other idol/celebrity au I read this year and really enjoyed, so if those aus are up your alley, I highly recommend it!
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low-key (no pressure!), by windrise (Twitter - @/wyndrise)
[Ongoing, Teen, 75.7k, 11/?]
Following his friend’s questionable suggestion, Venti partners with Xiao—the resident grouch of his early morning stats class—for his music project.
If you want to sit down with a fic that will give you the warm fuzzies, this is definitely the one to pick. As alluded to previously, I don’t really go for modern aus as much, but this fic absolutely blew my expectations out of the water. I was getting the ‘squee’s as I read about Xiao and Venti growing closer over the course of working on Venti’s project, as the author has an excellent grasp of the deep inner kindness that the two of them hold, and how that kindness would naturally draw them together.
~
bouquet of lies, by underthethousandstars (Twitter - @/zhongliorder)
[Complete, Mature, 85.9k, 12/12]
In a world where humans can use elemental magic, Xiao uses his to move through the shadows becoming Liyue’s phantom killer. Known to the public as Alatus, he is their most notorious assassin. One day Xiao secures his biggest job yet: kill the Crown Prince of Mondstadt, Venti. Harbouring no love towards any royal family Xiao pulls off his mission with success. Or so he thought.
This fic falls solidly on the darker end of xiaoven stories (the ‘Dark Fantasy’ tag is there for a reason!), so if you happen to like your ships with an enemies to lovers flare, this is definitely one to check out. This is one of those stories that really managed to pull me into the world of assassins and political intrigue that the author has crafted, and on top of that it puts a fun spin on exploring Xiao and Venti’s individual guilt and the way that it affects them as people. The first fic in the series is finished, but the second installment is currently in progress, so I highly recommend checking that one out as well!
~
every morning in the dark, by magicites (Twitter - @/bribird_wings)
[Complete, Mature, 77.1k, 34/34]
Stuck in a time loop where he succumbs to his karmic debt, Xiao struggles to see the point in moving forward. Venti struggles to save him.
While by far the heaviest of any of the fics I’ve recommended so far (mind the warnings and the tags!!), if you can stomach the subject matter, this is one of those fics that I would refer to as XiaoVen Essential Reading. The author has a pitch-perfect grasp of what makes xiaoven, qualities which are pushed to their limits as the two of them struggle to break free of the loop that they’re trapped in. I took severe emotional damage while reading it, but my only regret was that I hadn’t read it sooner. It’s definitely A Lot, but it’s so, so worth it for anyone who really enjoys this pairing.
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And with that, we reach the end of the list! If you've made it this far, thank you so much, and I hope I've given you some fics to add to your to-read list for the coming year! I tried to incorporate some newer fics with some classics, so hopefully there's something here you haven't heard from before.
With that said, I'll hopefully be back next year with some more xiaoven or other Genshin fic recs! <3
#genshin impact#xiaoven#venti#xiao#venti genshin impact#xiao genshin impact#fic recs#fic rec list#the ficshelf#Maybe I should make my own rec tag so I stop losing fics I reblog but uhhhh tired :)#I technically cheated with bouquet of lies because I only read the sequel this year#But I feel like it made more sense to rec the first fic in the series instead of the second#Also if anyone I tagged in this doesn't want to be please just let me know and I'll remove you#I don't want to offend anyone's privacy
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i'll never be enough
#⭐:my thoughts#op#i know i’ve probably already pissed off all my friends with this#but no matter how many drawings i draw how i draw it#i almost never like the outcome#i can barely count my favorite drawings on the fingers of one hand#every time i look at the result and think#not good enough#i didn't do my job well#no one will like it#every time i hear my friends compliment me i want to cry and i don't believe them#i feel like everyone says that just to avoid offending me#i'm not trying to ask for compliments no even if you told me i wouldn't believe you#i'm just really tired of feeling like this#i've noticed it's harder for me to sit down to draw lately#because there's only one thing on my mind#not enough
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Some of you are trying to find misogyny where it doesn't exist because you want to be victims so bad
#i said it#i stand by it#im sick of it#rewording the tags because i really did that wrong the first time#now unsentimentaltranslator made a point so allow me to redeem mine#misogyny is absolutely the bigger issue but there's no contest#but ive seen people go out of their way to find something to be offended by. in general too ofc but#im specifically referencing people who milk their identity as a woman for all its worth#while being deliberately ignorant of the privileges they do have#i hate that. i do. it's annoying#some of yall want to be offended so that you can be the victims so that you don't have to take responsibility or accountability#for any privilege or any sort of power you do have#easiest example is the way some of us white woman ignore our privilege when compared to a dark skinned woman#or how us well-off women are in an infinitely better position than the women out there fighting for their lives in congo or gaza#knowing your privilege even in a marginalized position is crucial to being a true feminist#feminism#misogyny#coming back the next day to add a few things#this can actually also be a form of misogyny in and of itself. in MANY different ways#and i can double down on that but ill save it for another post
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