#because there’s no countries outside of europe that can put up a fight

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Ashamed of being a swedish handball fan rn that SUCKED

[mitigatedchaos]

Free Speech

Regarding the speech restrictions in Europe, I will summarize my overall position as follows.

An economics textbook can easily weigh in at nearly 500,000 words. (This could be a contemporary economics textbook, or the original economics textbook, The Wealth of Nations.) Yet an economic textbook cannot tell you everything there is to know about business. You cannot simply use one as a manual to fill the position of CEO.

The world is thick and filled with many possibilities, while a textbook is thin and unable to change in response to situations.

Ideology is a network of related beliefs, rules, and moral values, which influences how information is perceived and what behaviors are considered right. It is often communicated through books and printed materials, speeches, videos, and so on.

Like a textbook, it is not the world. And, like a textbook, it is much simpler than the world.

Ideology is used to synchronize the behavior of members of a political coalition. As such, it may be derived from a generalization of the various coalition members' interests. Putting ideology into action requires keeping coalition members on-side, and so it is often less coherent and more contradictory than scientific theories.

Because ideology is less complex than reality, there is a distance between what an ideology says and any real situation. This distance can be larger or smaller.

This gap between the ideology and reality can produce externalities. If the ideology says that enough solar power and energy storage will come online that you can shut down the nuclear power stations in your country without burning coal... and the energy storage does not come online, then you may end up burning the coal.

Because ideology is not a person, but a body of ideas, and because conditions in the real world are constantly shifting (such as new technologies being invented, or new political events occurring), a movement requires personnel to consistently update and adapt the ideology to account for new developments, to keep the distance between reality and the ideology low.

Because the ideology also represents the interests of the coalition members, and for other reasons, shifting it may result in a difficult political fight that could reduce support for the political coalition.

In this model, speech restrictions are generally a method to push the costs of the externalities off on to people outside of the ruling coalition, while avoiding doing the genuinely challenging work of updating the ideology, as well as having a costly intracoalitional political battle.

This is a short-termist approach that may cause the ideology to become more misaligned from reality in the long term as the underlying conditions continue to change.

As such, in this model, the default position should be to be highly skeptical of speech restrictions. Political coalitions shift unpredictably over time; there is always the possibility that you will be the one getting the short end of the stick in the future.

It is possible for politicians and government officials to obtain private information about the world merely by observing reality and remembering what they have observed. They may also speak directly to each other in private settings.

However, eventually, all politicians and public officials will either grow old or die. As such, the political parties and the state must continuously recruit new personnel from the young. The young have easy access to public channels of information, but private channels of information do not scale - when they become too large, they become public channels of information.

In a low-censorship environment, there are outside sources of information who can correct for the missing information even if young people don't admit to reading them or don't read them directly.

In a high censorship environment, public information can drift very far from reality. Those who trust the censorship anyway will make policy which is not well-aligned to reality, and which therefore can only succeed by accident. Those who do not trust the censorship will not have access to high-quality alternative information; they may not even know what is and is not being censored. Therefore, while they can account for alternate possibilities, they will also have difficulty in making successful policy.

[re-re-redline]

-General Headcanons: Mehmed II- 1st Addendum

No Spoilers… for anything, really

Foreword: So… The Romance Headcanons are fighting me along with a Big Thing I want to write concerning Mehmed, so that’s Great™. Plus my inspiration is waning, Even Better™. So…do forgive me for going a biiiiiit out of order and adding an addendum to Mehmed II’s GHC while I sort those three things out.

One may think that Mehmed II would be more than happy to try and conquer another planet, but in actuality he couldn’t care less about what’s beyond the stratosphere. Not to say he doesn’t find space interesting or anything, but everything he dreamed of having in life was right here on earth. You can’t conquer Europe on Mars because there is nothing like Europe on Mars. No history, no human civilization, no culture, no nothing—just flat land for miles and miles, waiting for someone to live there. It doesn’t feel the same and it doesn’t feel earned either. So what if he just landed on another planet and stuck a flag in the ground and called it his? That’s not conquering. That’s claiming and it’s lame! Now conquering Europe on the other hand… That’s awesome. The strife of fighting country after country as well as keeping his own together and thriving is some tough shit to manage, which to his credit he did pull off in his lifetime, but on a scale bigger than that? Tough doesn’t even begin to describe it, but if and when he does pull it off in this hypothetical, then he’d feel like he was on top of the world. And rightfully so! The amount of work that had to go into just conquering Europe would’ve been insane and this achievement would, if I am not mistaken, pretty much outshine his predecessors and successors achievements. But then you look at planets like Mars and, well, he’d just say ‘eh’ to that. Really, the only scenario where Mehmed II would go and ‘conquer’ a planet would be if he really needed to.

Masters who aren’t exactly…the most forceful in imposing their will or lack the strength to keep their servants under control will find the sultan to be a big help. He’s got plenty of experience getting people together under his banner to get shit done and he can be pretty terrifying when he needs to be to keep people in line. And if that doesn’t work… Well, Mehmed has never been afraid to get his hands dirty nor was he the type to hide such a thing anyways. This is all cool and good on paper, but there is something you’d need to be wary of. Mehmed II has always been an opportunist and that hasn’t changed one bit since he died. Which is why I strongly advise that you make sure you learn to put your foot down sometime and you find some way to keep him in check. Lest he take your role from you and start calling the shots on his own without your input while framing himself as your mouthpiece still. Some servants will be fooled and some won’t, but the fact of the matter is that it’s generally a better idea to not let this happen in the first place. Vlad III, Constantine XI, Martha and Astraea are good servants to make sure he doesn’t pull anything, but the best solution is to improve yourself since the Mehmed does enjoy self improvement a teeny tiny bit more than power. Just a tiny bit though.

Mehmed II’s music taste is indescribable. Not because the genres are so obscure and experimental that they don’t even have names yet, he just listens to everything from everywhere. Putting his library on shuffle is definitely an Experience™ because you never know what the next song is going to be like. You could start off with a 50s swing classic like Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by The Four Lads and the next song could be a Finnish Rockabilly song like Vaeltaja by Pääestiintyjät with next being a Russian Phonk song like Dead Inside by адлин and by the end of it, you’ll somehow end up finding at least five new songs that were way outside of your music taste that you could get behind. That’s just how big and varied it is, so there isn’t much out there that he can say he doesn’t like. Just… keep some of Sabbaton’s songs and the like off the stereo and you won’t end up with it mysteriously breaking when you’re not looking.

If you are the kind of master who is afraid or grossed out by insects and need assistance in removing them from your area to feel peace… Then Mehmed is one of the very last people you should think of calling for aid. Don’t get me wrong, he will provide you succor when you ask. But the way he does it is fucking awful. He will pick the thing up with his bare hands and quickly close the distance between the two of you to show you why there’s nothing to be afraid of. The thing’s thrashing about between his fingers, potentially screaming too, and he’s attempting to hand it over to you whilst rattling off about how it’s virtually harmless. He’ll eventually set you and the bug free by placing the damn thing outside or murdering it and throwing it away if he can’t, but do be prepared for this same song and dance the next time you ask. Why? One: it’s for your own good and growth as a person, two: he finds your terrified expression to be very interesting and kinda funny at the same time. The only way you could get him to stop is if you faint, that’s when he’ll wise up to the fact that you’re definitely not messing around and he’ll apologize.

Speaking of fears, while Mehmed would rather die than admit that he’s afraid of something, he does have two fears. Vlad III and…flying. It makes sense that the only other thing he’d be afraid of in his second life would be something that he’d never have the chance of experiencing the first time around. He can look over a cliff just fine and not feel anything, he can walk on a tightrope high off the ground without breaking a sweat, but being in an airplane? That’s where he draws the line. There’s something incredibly unnerving to him about not being connected to the ground in any way shape or form and the more he thinks on it, the more terrifying it becomes for him. He can’t seem to logic his way out of being afraid and he absolutely hates it. Hence while on an aircraft you’ll find that he’s not chatting your ear off like usual, he’s just sitting there reading. A keen eyed master will note that he’s white knuckling the book in his hands and isn’t turning the page as often as usual. While he would never outwardly clue anyone in onto how he’s doing, if you are closer to him than most then he’ll reach for your hand to hold as he reads. That’s the most you’ll get in terms of a signal that he’s scared, so be sure not to take that lightly when it happens. He wouldn’t forgive you for teasing him on this.

If you somehow manage to summon his older self from during the late stage of his life (he died at 49) then you will find yourself regretting it immediately. They will not stop bickering and they will drag you into their arguments to settle it for them since neither will back down. A whole twenty year gap is a lot of time to change and grow as a person, which leaves both Mehmeds cringing very hard at the other. The younger one thinks that the older one has given up on living for himself and has resigned himself to being trapped in his duties to never find joy outside of it ever again. While the older one thinks that his younger self is being too selfish and that there is no greater honor nor joy than serving the people and nurturing the empire. Needless to say, you’ll be hearing a lot of ‘you sound just like our father’ and ‘you know nothing about what it means to have responsibility of this magnitude.’ They both think that they’re the superior one and that you should desummon the other. The only thing they’ll work together on is getting Chaldea to make more rules and enforce them accordingly since his straitlaced mindset towards crime hasn’t changed a bit across his lifetime. Speaking of…

If a master lacks any proper judges like Gramps or Astraea, then the sultan will not only be a decent pick, but he’ll be more than happy to do it. He’ll be glad that you’re taking steps to improve the system and he’ll promise to do his utmost with the position that he’s been given. And he does just that, and really well too! …Too well, actually. He’s a decent pick because he gets the job done, but the way he goes about it is the problem. See, Mehmed believes that a crime must be punished accordingly no matter the motive. Now, the word accordingly can have different meanings in this regard, but Mehmed tends to lean towards the more ruthless end of the spectrum. Meaning that, while random incidents involving stolen grails and general disturbances have decreased significantly, the atmosphere in Chaldea has become much darker as a result. So, really, it’s recommended that you only go through with this idea if things are getting out of your control. …And if you don’t mind some people going missing, of course.

Endnote: And that’s that! Addendums are nice because I can make them short without feeling too bad, hehe.

Whew. My plans are to get his RHCs done and work on the Big Thing I’ve been planning for him for a while now. Anyone who’s been on this blog long enough may already have an idea as to what that is, but I’m keeping it under wraps for now. If the writing process for the latter gets to be troublesome, I might put that on the back burner and tie up a loose end for Constantine. That being… The multiple endings of “What It Means to Protect You.” Ah, thought I forgot, didn’t you? I have not! I have an outline for it, but I need to write down the baseline context before writing the endings themselves plus I suck ass at writing the beginnings to things. Maybe I should take Featherine’s advice and write the whole thing backwards… But those are my plans! Once I get Mehmed sorted out, then I’ll get Sannan the love he deserves and then I can finally declare that my portfolio is finished and I can confidently open my requests. Speaking of…

To the person who sent me a request in my inbox, I regret to inform you that requests are not open. So you’re going to have to wait until I finish with all that schtuff first. It’s a good request, but the rules are the rules. But do not worry! I have it safely stowed away and cryogenically frozen until the day comes.

Anywho, in Redline news, I got Romulus! I had to fight tooth and nail to get him, speedrunning rank ups and interludes to claw my way to him with a singular pull. It was awful, but worth it. I even got NP2 Caenis out of my endeavors as well as well. So now I can have two Roma supports (Nero Bride and Constantine) and have Romulus blow everything up to high hell and back! Before that I had incurred a bit of gacha salt with being unable to get Odysseus, but I will be awaiting spooks with open arms and potentially using that 5 star ticket JP got recently if need be when it rolls around. But for now, I’ll be saving for Johanna and if I survive that, then Takasugi next. I don’t think I’ll be able to save enough for any of Lostbelt 7’s servants, much to my chagrin. But they’ll come around again after that.

But that’s all from me, I hope you enjoyed and I’ll be seeing you all later.

Have a good day.

—Redline, over and out!

[pure-ablution]

You HAVE to tell us how she bagged a Persian billionaire

The fiancé’s net worth will remain undisclosed, mostly because I don’t actually know and Zoya won’t tell me. I don’t think he’s a billionaire, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I was proven wrong on that front.

First up, Zoya is the exception, so jot that down. Her existence constantly reminds me that I’m not the exception, and neither are you. She’s stunningly beautiful, fiendishly clever, charming beyond measure and mildly unhinged. She’s ruthless, she’s not afraid of roughing it in times of trouble, and she’s followed some of the most creative and unconventional paths in order to get what she wants and feels she needs. Zoya isn’t afraid of taking risks, and she never has been, right from when we were both kids, because she knows that she’ll always get away with it.

Zoya fits into a niche, and she’s perfected it. She used the boys back home for practice, so that when she arrived in France, she already had enough experience and connections to be able to hit the ground running and work with what she already knew to be her home turf. She dated within a niche and she did very well for herself, she knew how to be the perfect Persian princess from the Old Country and play up to parental pressure, and she never once dabbled outside of that niche because it would mean changing up what was proven to work so, so well for her. She embodies traditional beauty standards and she knows every last line of the Shahnameh, she can cook all the best dishes and dance in the old way, and she gives diasporan men a taste of what they never had, a romanticisation of the roots they’ve never once reached.

Zoya spins the truth, but she rarely lies. She takes risks, but she knows just how far to take them. She ignores all of the modern-day bother surrounding Iran and claims her homeland as the Shah’s country. Even though we’re actually from an entirely different province, and several hours away from Alasht, it doesn’t stop her telling stories of a childhood on the coast of the Caspian. She pulls on the nostalgia for a country that never really was, and she does it so well that I catch myself half-believing her. Zoya has always taken risks and climbed higher than the rest of us; she applied for scholarships abroad and she got them, she used every last connection she had to get herself to France, and once she was there, she just pressed play. I don’t think that she would have done as well anywhere else—anywhere else in Europe wouldn’t have worked for her, and America would have put up too much of a fight—but I’m sure that she knows this much better than me. Nothing Zoya does is without extremely careful, calculated consideration.

Zoya protects her reputation with her life. She’s much more careful than I am. She left home and she left that life completely behind; she doesn’t keep in contact with her old friends spare for a card here and there, and she’s never breathed a word about what it was like for her growing up. She’s also a supreme gatekeeper, and even I don’t know half of her secrets, or exactly what work she’s had done. She’s kept herself in her own apartment and refuses to move in with him until after the wedding, she meets with him on her terms and often fails to pick up his calls, she tells everyone that she’s a virgin and a completely natural beauty, and she refuses point-blank to even look at the press. Zoya loves to treat them mean to keep them keen, and I have to say, it’s worked for her; her man runs panting after her, and he’ll do anything for her if she’ll only ask.

It hasn’t been a typical path for Zoya, and she’s had to deviate from the playbook quite a bit in her time, but at the end of the day, she knows that she’s won and so does everyone else. She’s 24, engaged to be married to someone who is utterly besotted with her, and exactly where she wants to be at this point in time. She has a hell of a career under her belt and she won’t be giving it up for anyone, and she’s living exactly the life that she’s always dreamt of. Zoya doesn’t believe in settling for anything less, and she’s one of the rare few who are actually entitled to do that, but for the rest of us mere mortals, I don’t think that looking to my big sister serves as anything except a reminder that we’re not her. I know for a fact that I’m not; I’m nowhere near pretty, intelligent, or just plain hard enough to take on what she’s taken so readily, and frankly, I don’t think I’d want to. Zoya has sacrificed love for the sake of what she believes to be greater things, and although I respect her for that, I know, deep down, that I couldn’t hack it, and I’d probably never be given the chance.

[twopoppies]

this

hey, gina. i really love you and your blog and i very rarely disagree with you, but i just wanted to share my own opinion about this, as someone not from the USA (or europe, for that matter, because they are privileged too, mostly). i get that you may have a more pragmatic point of view, which is completely fine, but i think it is incredibly easier to do so when living in the country where harry has played shows for the last three years. he comes to my country once every four years, and there are places like the african continent and asia that get even fewer concerts than that. obviously we know it’s about the money. we know that capitalism is a thing, but it’s impossible not to be frustrated by this situation when it happens all the time and not just with harry, but with nearly every single international act. and to answer your anon, no, we do not think we can just tell harry where to go or what to do, and we’re honestly not trying to (i’m not, at least). he is his own person and he knows what he wants to do with his career, or how things work in this industry in order to profit. we are just expressing built up frustration, and we just wish things were more equal. we know it’s wishful thinking, we’re aware. but i don’t think it’s fair of the anon to disregard (at least it’s what it felt like to me) our feeling. and i do agree that harry just goes with the flow of the crowd (as india put it, much more eloquently than i just did) and i do agree that there should be no discourse whatsoever. it’s just a lyric that some fans atribute meaning to, and if you don’t, then just don’t. we shouldn’t fight over who is right and who is wrong because no one is right or wrong. but seriously, don’t say we’re naive for thinking harry is going to leave the USA – we know he isn’t going to leave. that’s exactly why it’s so frustrating and it’s exactly why we like to belt out those words. anyway. it’s such a silly thing to create a whole ass debate over. we know he isn’t leaving. you all know he isn’t leaving your country. we just love to scream leave america at the concert, and from my own experience: it does feel pretty good. but it’s just that. a feeling.

Hi love. Thanks for all of this. I actually really agree with what you’re saying. Sorry if the way I articulated myself earlier made it seem otherwise. I have no problem with people belting that line out at all. I do get it. I think it’s particularly relevant for anyone outside of the US — and even Western Europe who get less, but still are very privileged when it comes to being able to see most big artists. But I see what you’re saying about it feeling like a chance to express your frustration when you scream that line.

I think I was focused on the way people were arguing about his lyric change meaning X or Y, not about the line (or the issue) as a whole. I think there’s frustration and sometimes animosity on one side, and defensiveness and often ignorance on the other. It makes for a lot of negativity. I appreciate the insight into what it feels like from your POV.

[sarahtheconjurer]

@ghosttmachine tagged me in a get to know you meme thing (tyyy!!)! So. Here i am posting for oncce lez goooo

Last song:

Technical answer is post traumatic blues by corey taylor, bc ive been using the spotify dj thing and it keeps giving me metal that i o ly kinda like. The funner answer was rhe barbie movie ost since me and my friends literally just got back from it n my friend mariana had me play it in the car. Not rlly my thing was catchy (barbie movie was good btw! Posts abt it being like. Not the deepest critique of social issues and the like are correct but it was a fun time w a lot of heart + rlly great production value + honestly. Very funny. And i watched it w two of my best friends so :})

Currently reading:

For books:

When the Angels Left the Old Country

I haven't touched it in a hot sec, but its a queer, historical fantasy ya book based in jewish folklorex about an angel and a demon that leave europe, after a girl goes missing from the village they've set up shop in. It's very light and whimsical which is not my usual fare, but I'm enjoying it! Its very heartfelt and the two main leads have very good chemistry. And its always cool to see angel/demon lore outside the usual christian sphere.

For manga: steel ball run (part 7 of jojos bizarre adventure) its. A story about a cross continental horse race to find the body parts of jesus. Which is the most coherent way i can put it. Im rereading it w two of my friends rn and im enjoying it! It isnt my favorite part, but its up there, and features some of the best stuff in the series. This is. Also a story featuring a pair of ride or die protagonists with a very strong dynamic and chemistry (honestly, best 'set' of protags in the series) and so much comes from their bond. Its at the point in the series where it started getting a monthly release and it shows, w some rlly gorgeous art. Gyro and Diego are highlights artwise because the former doesnt have a stand he just. Has these steel balls he spins and throws around, so you get very dynamic shots of him just. Chucking them that the author uses in super creative ways to lead the eye and compose panels and the latter. Can turn himself and other things into dinosaurs. Have you ever seen a dinosaur ride a horse? Its fucking sick. It also has some interesting themes of american imperialism and christianity, of all things, which i think are done, well in some respects, esp given the authors track record. IT ALSO HAS SOME OF THE WORST STUFF IN THE SERIES THAT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL HIM W HAMMERS.

Currently watching:

Nothing in particular, but ive got a p big to watch list (Trigun, mob psycho, etc) and i just watched the barbie movie, like i said.

Current obsession:

Guess. Take a guess.

Jfc jojos bizarre adventure is holding me at gunpoint. Its not good its not bad (besides when it is) it its own tier of media. I forgot how much 15 year old me was obsessed w it and so i foolishly rewatched it thinking id be. Normal. I was wrong. God. I've never seen anything like it! It's so clearly a passion project from someone who's very eccentric and so it goes from absurd and stupid and comedic to circling right back to being very human and poignant. Like, it's about love! And familial trauma! And prevailing in the face of great tragedy! And also killing the president because jesus told you so! It's got a myriad of flaws from technical writing issues to genuinely tasteless/bigoted content, so its not some untouchable media, but ive been enjoying it a lot.

Part 5 and 8 are my favorites for very different reasons.

Part 5, Golden Wind, is abt a bunch of weird mobsters on a roadtrip through italy to kill their boss. It has a very charming supporting cast who are a sort of found family of societal rejects, brought together by this guy named Bruno who acts as a leader + mentor + sort of dad? To them. They're all surprisingly fleshed out characters, esp for this early on in the series, and their group dynamic, combined w some of the best fights in the entire show, really sell this part. The main character and main villain are. Not good. Sans a few aspects. Tho. Like i forget giorno is there half the time. (Giorno is my beloved stale cracker of a character but hes MY stale cracke, tho)

Part 8, Jojolion, is uh. Hm. It follows this amnesiac dude who wakes up in the dirt, as he tries to piece together the person he was. It's set in an au version of the town from part 4, w some characters being spins on old ones. Its the most recent part, and it shows. Its a lot better structured, paced, and developed compared to earlier parts. The mystery running through it has a lot of fun twists and turns, the themes are coherent, and the pace is slow, but not meandering. The supporting cast is fun (the lead's romantic interest is an actually decent jojo woman and they have a very cute relationship, and the family the main character is sort of adopted into are all fucking insane) but the real draw for me was the main character. Josuke (the second. Theres another josuke from an alternate universe in part 4, anyway) is probably my favorite jojo. I could go on about him, but compared to the others, he feels the most real? Theres this very grounded sense of frustration abt him as he tries and fails to piece together who he is, while everyone around him seems to have somethimg they need from him, or an idea of who he SHOULD be. He isnt a hero, he isnt even all that noble, hes just trying to find himself and if anyone out there loves him. He's blunt, one track minded, and is doing the jojo equivalent of spamming x to skip through all the dialogue bc hes not here for anyones shit beside his own. Jojolion somehow captures the feeling of being a weird, displaced pseudo adult trying to piece yourself together, while everything Keeps Fucking Happening. I love it so much. But by god does the ending suck hoooooly shit oh my god dude jesus christ. Fucking. I hate tohru i hate tohru i hate tohru fjcjendnxzlzm. Anyway jobin sweep

OTHER OBSESSIONS INCLUDE OCS AND DND.

Im currently running a csm tabletop n curse of strahd game, and am in a ravenloft game. They're all very different but i love them all.

Ravenloft game is a sort of sequel to the curse of strahd game i was in a while bsck

I play pageturn (kenku paladin) and coda (changeling flavored as fallen angel, bard). Ones a 13 year old w a kill drive going through a double crisis of faith while somehow being the heart of the group and the others a shapeshifting corrupted celestial, whos trying to find themself. we are currently exploring the fomain the latter was imprisoned in and have found the eye of vecna and. I am. Excited and concerned for what our wonderful dm has cooked up.

Chainsaw Man game is a high stakes office drama following the worst group of devil hunters youve ever seen. Its more episodic and light than my other games which is a nice change of pace, and i rlly like the energy our group brings to the table. I am always horrified and surprised by whatever new government supplied human rights violation they commit next! Every character is uniquely sad, while still maintaining the token csm dark comedy abt them. We are currently revisiting a mystery allll the way back from our first session and im stoked for some stuff i have planned.

Sippy Crew (curse of strahd game) is drawing to a close and ahh i could make a whole post abt how much these guys mean to me. Its been a joy dming for this group of freaks and watching as they come together not into a found family, but a group of distinctly doomed, but fiercely loyal individuals. They've had two pc deaths, even more close calls, and have lost so much, but they're pushing through like dandelions in concrete. Its genuinely the most emotionally invested ive been in a ttrpg, and am so excited, to see their journey come to a close, and will miss them dearly.

Both jojo and ttrrpgs have been a way to reconnect with friends i dont usually talk to as much, and strengthen the bonds of the friends that i do, which is why theyve hit so hard, haha.

anwyaY this turned out way longer than it needed to be bUt.

@turtleslothart @500sunstone you. Do this.

[rosalesbeausderholle]

I've traveled and been unmoored.

And I've been in a relationship in one place.

They're both good. Pick the relationship. You have your whole life to travel. But romantic love is the most rare thing on the planet.

Your girlfriend is not the reason your life plans aren't working out perfectly the way you thought. Making peace with how your plans and your reality differ is just a stage in life. It's just part of being a 20-something. Everyone goes through this. No one's life is what they thought it would be. There can be disappointment there but there can also be beauty and wonder.

Traveling from one place to the next is freeing because your mind feels fresh and new. You can get that fresh new mind just by changing your location. So you don't need to actually learn the skill of open-mindedness. The true measure of open-mindedness is finding wonder, newness, and spontaneity in the same place over and over every day. That's the real journey.

I know but I just wish our respective life paths would allow us to travel and be unmoored together or, if we have to settle, then at least settle somewhere new, not two hours from our families and in a place where we don't end up fitting in and bc we're terrible at making friends outside of a school/university context.

Idk I just, I know the reason I've always wanted that freedom to move from one place to the next has been because I'm terrible at putting down roots, I've never been good at friendships or connections, the friends I do have now have never been good at meeting up and doing things together (we do it at my insistence most times) so I've always felt pretty lonely on that front and the idea of going from place to place has always been a way to fight that (of course you don't have long lasting relationships silly! You never stay in a place long enough to have them!) and I know that's toxic and maladaptive and the result of being an asocial child/teenager who was mercilessly bullied so she never learned how to have friends and she dreamed of escaping her shitty small town for the rest of the world.

And I know that's not unique to me, that this happens to so many people, but I can't let go of it and just be normal. I have something I never thought I could have, a happy, stable, loving relationship with someone who feels like my better half in all aspects, and we're happy together and we love each other, and I would be a fool to ruin this and yet it doesn't feel like enough, it fulfills the "needs to love and be loved" part of my brain but not the "needs adventure" part. And actually that shouldn't be like it is, because my girlfriend has given me a lot of opportunities to travel and do things I wouldn't otherwise do, like have a big group of friends to go to Portugal and go see Taylor, or have a trip through central Europe scheduled for next summer, thanks to her I have new friends! We love to travel and we want to do it as much as we can afford, it's living in another country that she does not want to do, and just spending a few days in a new place is not enough for me. I want both things, I hate that I can't have them.

I wish I could find joy and adventure in the little things too, maybe I'll learn how to do it.

[tendiaries]

all i want for christmas is you

what is the purpose of concerts? i ask the crowd in a seinfield-esque way and wait for the feedback of a couple chuckles before continuing.

no, because, you pay a lot of money, stand somewhere for hours while deafening loud song plays and you see a handful of people on a platform. just people, normal people. and that's it. the crowd hopefully laughs a bit on this part, but probably not, as this is not very funny for reasons of it not being a joke.

there's a chance you're gonna be going through the experience surrounded by people you've picked fights with on twitter. most of them are complete strangers, just standing there with you looking at the same people. and realizing they're just people. and then it's over. nothing changes.

this is the bottom line of the mental gymnastics i've been using as an exercise routine ever since the end of 2019. it's gone through a few revisions and ended up here, and i think there's not much else we could improve on. this is, after all, me rationalizing concerts to the point of rendering them meaningless.

concerts are meaningless. that's what i keep trying to tell myself, unconvinced, but something's gotta give at some point.

i recognize that as far as being in countries that are not part of the "world" where "world tours" take place, i'm pretty lucky. i'm in the only country where we know for certain people stop by when they're touring this otherworldly continent (if they plan on performing a full concert, and not 5 songs in a festival that proceeds to get cancelled). and i'm in the only state where we know for certain people stop by when they come over to this country far removed from the world they tour. not the same city, but i can save up my 15 dollars for the trip, and i'm in a place where i can save 15 dollars. lucky

i remember pretty clearly in 2019 when the dates started being released, one new date every day, and how hopeful i was that i'd get the announcement i wanted. except one day, after the united states and europe were packed full, there was no new post. but that's ok! they do second legs of tours! so it's fine. it's tour > comeback > second leg, and chances are, if they're touring outside of the world, with the size of this country the odds are in your favor! and then that tour was postponed for two years.

they announce concerts in their country and i look up flight tickets. it's not unaffordable, but would put a strain on my finances for a while (this country is not part of the world so the conversion between world and non-world currencies is not great), but it's manageable. the problem is that we're not sure it's safe, if it's gonna get cancelled last minute, if the countries are gonna lock down again. but things are looking up so there'll definitely be a second leg announced now!

on the week of the LA concerts i mute "coming back", which i believe i still have muted to this day. i don't really check through my list of 60 muted words related to concerts (it works fairly well!). i found it a little hard to believe that there was going to be another world world tour announced before non-world got anything. for my well being (since the exercise hadn't reached its final form) i decided it was for a festival or two and for north-american promotions. it was not

the end of 2021 was particularly harsh in that regard. people were. honestly. insane. and insufferable about seeing the tour after two years. all of the concerts had streams on twitter, and people who lived in the world world were happy. i considered leaving. it was better than seeing people who had so much i wanted complain about the minor inconveniences of what they had. it's a difficult equation to make. i once heard someone say that there was a study somewhere that diminishing your annoyance improves your life more than augmenting your happiness, so according to this, leaving a thing i loved but hurt me was better than staying for the happiness it provided. i stayed then because i'm stubborn, a little stupid, and because those people who are just people who stand on platforms whom i've come to love cannot possibly improve my life by being removed from it. with them i would in one way or another let go of other people who i see on the same ground level as me, though the ground they stand on is notoriously part of the world and mine is not (this analogy sounds very self-victimizing but i just thought it was so funny and now i'm too invested in it to stop)

from the beginning of 2022 i thought that maybe if i could be In the world at the same time as the higher-ground-level people i'd be restricted on twitter a few less times (it's three so far! they were all because of this whole thing!). so some things were put in motion, but you see, i've never been In the world, which makes everything a bit harder. the main character of the world and a lot of its minor players are not very interested in letting non-world people get in, lest they enjoy too much the possibility of not being crushed by them economically and i guess spiritually and decide to stay a while. it's good thinking!! a lot of them would! a lot of them do! but to ask to just go for a quick visit and come back it demands a lot of time (which i didn't know about and therefore didn't have enough of) and a lot of money (which i don't have a lot of, but knew about). i did have a ticket to be ground level (pretty good ground level!) to see the higher-ground-level people. i know my luck well enough to never have really trusted this would lead me to being In the world at the same time as the people i wanted to see on the platforms blasting sounds that would make my tinnitus worse for a day or two, so although there was some upset it was manageable.

when i got that golden ticket i told a handful of people, a bit embarrassed of the fact that it seemed reckless to an extent, the ticket itself was almost a month's salary, not to mention transportation and all the other little things you need to stay alive and healthy and safe both in the world and outside. i also feel like the world people have no idea how it feels like, so i don't feel like the expense to see normal people, absolutely fucking normal people, for two hours standing on the platform, seems justifiable to them. i really don't know, but i've also come to realize recently that i have a tendency to think the worst of people, which i'm trying to change. to half of them i never told that it fell through, but i guess they picked up on it anyway.

the thing about the golden ticket is that i had admission for one, for one day. but when i saw other normal people getting their tickets, no one seemed happy with anything they got. some wanted seats from where they could see the platform better, some wanted to wave at the platform people from ground level but behind a glass panel (spooky). that doesn't help make concerts make any more sense. if everyone is unhappy doing something you'd spend a significant portion of your yearly earnings to do while paying only an insignificant fraction of it, it starts to seem pointless. most of the people i know had enough admission tickets in total in 2022 to compose anywhere from 1 to 3% days spent with normal people worsening their earsight from the platform

statistically, every time non-world is not part of the world in "world tour", the chances of it being part of it soon go up by a little bit (again, i'm lucky that i'm in a very likely spot amongst the unlikely), but it's the bus paradox a little bit. actually it has nothing to do with the bus paradox. you just wait because there's nothing else to do (although you did check the flight prices for many places that are not punishing you for living in the non-world by preventing you from visiting it, and you did consider taking a loan that's roughly enough to buy a brand new car just so you could've gone somewhere and watched something and you deeply regret not doing it in hindsight. which is a bit crazy)

so now they're leaving the main character of the world soon, but not before announcing the supporting cast will also be graced with the presence of these normal people. and that's fine because everyone knew it, and i did the equation again only recently, before the first world had its tour, and decided to stay once again. ah! that's the bus paradox. that i could leave now because there's nothing happening and then there'll be less annoyance, or i can wait a bit longer and take the bus i've craved for three years, which has the most comfortable seats, the best route, and all of the people on board give you a sense of belonging because they're all going to exactly the same place as you, for their slightly different and not any shallower nor deeper reasons, and they say when you get off this bus something within you might be different for the better (only applicable if ridden few times)

and that's precisely the issue now. that this particular bus has been ridden so many times by everyone around you that riding it once (non-worlders are not lucky enough to have more than one ride available) starts seeming like too little too late. there's something about the thought of people saying they're happy for me because i'm finally gonna have this thing i wanted for so long, when they all had it so many times that they had room to complain about it, that just makes it feel all the more pointless. it's weird to embark on something that is life changing when it's life changing to no one else. it feels like it's too much made out of nothing. so that's where we started, i'm not sure what the bus is for anymore, and i'm embarrassed of the fact that i want to ride it so bad, and that it would mean so much to me, and that i can only ride it once. maybe. if it comes. i'm embarrassed of how i can quote every single person who voiced a complaint about their rides because i ruminated it for so long, as to why they felt that i was the right person they wanted to share it with while seeing me just standing by the bus stop unsure if there even is a line that stops by here

i also had to sit with the thought that maybe i'm a bad person, because of course my friends would be happy for me and they're honest, and of course they wanna share their life with me and i should be grateful. but (and this is not about concerts or buses or people anymore) at some point the frustrations of those who have so little have to be enough justification for not constantly carrying the positivity and good sportsmanship that is demanded of them. that is to say, i'm unfortunately never unaware of the fact of how little i have, and how it softens the impact of all that i can't have because i'm so used to making it into something else, into concerts are pointless, and puts everything that i want on a sort of pedestal.

so i feel i'm not really unreasonable. it's hard to believe in unreasonability when i've had to toy around with this thought so much to find some angle through which i'm not so ugly on the inside

concerts are pointless. that has yet to keep me from looking up flight prices and putting numbers on the annoyance equation

[cosmicart]

I'm gonna start this off by saying I don't want a fight-

(this is gonna be a rant so please just hear me out) But- I'm seeing more and more posts on my dashboard like this and I do think people need to get more perspective on the situation that's happening.

In regards to your statement about just reblogging instead of doing donations;

First of all, you can't just call out people for not wanting to donate when there are a million different reasons why someone may support Palestine and not donate to fundraisers.

Financial constraints is a huge reason why, there are many people who live paycheck to paycheck and just can't afford it. In the USA this applies to 66% of people. In Europe, this varies from country to country but it's estimated that over 100 million people from 21 different countries also live like this. USA Paycheck to Paycheck EU Paycheck to Paycheck

About the fundraisers themselves:

Let's take the Sim card fundraisers, where one can pay monthly for a simcard so that refugees can communicate with their families. We can look at the October 7th attack. In the early hours of the attack we were told that thousands of sim cards were activated in the Gaza corridor leading to so many deaths, among them more than 350 civilians were killed. (you claim Israel is genociding people but they opened humanitarian corridors for refugees to escape and DONT bomb it, unlike the other side...) Today, we know this number was grossly exaggerated, the sim cards used that day were dozens, not hundred. So does that mean that Israel just lied and the sims were not used for the attack? nope. Not only were the sims used in that attack, the sims have been used multiple times on different attacks in the last 12 months alone. So if you can't safely buy a sim for a refugee, the way to go would be donating to evacuating families right? well... ---------------------------------- Links to news articles about it, from Israel newspapers to Cnn

NBC News About the Sim Cards Haarerz About the Sim Cards Cnn About the Sim Cards (Cnn barely covers the card's involvements with the attack but it's not surprising considering they are highly supportive of Palestine) ---------------------------------- This war has been going on for more than 70 years, the ones who wanted to move away from conflict have had more than enough time to do so, I'm not trying to insensitive here, but if your country has been in war for almost a century now, you SHOULD have done something about it by now. Most people in Palestine today are pro hamas, A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION, and if you disagree with that, check the links below to some of (not all) of the stuff they have done in the past few years. Now, if you are in Palestine and are against hamas, which would be rare, you know your neighbor is a terrorist or pro terrorist, so what do you do? you do nothing, because you are scared, and they can't be blamed for that, however, civilians in Palestine know that hamas are setting up weapons on the rooftop of buildings like he school their children are going to, do you really have the balls to complain that your child was killed, knowing you sent them to their death? At this point any civilians in Palestine are either helping Hamas or protecting terrorists, even if it's not by choice. Those outside of the conflict, that are against this war, which are the people who want to free Palestine, are afraid to donate to these families because 99% of the time this money is going to the terrorists, whether willingly or by extortion, you can't send money safely to help them, it will go to the war effort.

Child suicide bombers Israel opening humanitarian corridors, palestine not helping.

Using hospitals for human shields, then putting snipers on the roof, (so that Israel is forced to fire against a hospital, this is a war crime BTW)

Mortars on a school rooftop and other buildings

Agriculture infrastructure DONATED to Palestine used for war. What I want to say is that this is a shitty situation, by both sides, since you are supporting Palestine I'm assuming you are more than well aware of all the horrible stuff Israel did in the past and present, but claiming Israel has all the blame when Palestine is chanting that they want to exterminate the Israel population, and committing literal war crimes on the daily, makes people think you are either uninformed or don't actually care about what is actually happening in this conflict.

Tldr: i think both sides need to fucking relax, sit down and talk.

It has been 8 months and counting now, but every day I choose to be shocked and scandalized and rendered speechless by the utterly brutish, utterly horrific atrocities committed by Israel every single day. It should never become a new normal to know a whole country’s being genocided and to choose to distract ourselves w other things instead. It should never be standard to look at fundraisers of families suffering and choose to ignore them, to look the other way, to write them off as scams to alleviate any sort of guilt or gravity or moral implication that comes with ignoring these fundraisers. They should never ever be things we are okay with because it’s “just what Israel does now” “it’s just how people are” “it’s just racism.”

[hardtchill]

https://www.tumblr.com/hardtchill/765714098236391424/do-you-read-american-papers-follow-american-news

OMG!! The United States does not have a real choice. They are allies. They are going to support Israel. Right or wrong. They have been allies for over 50 years. Get over it because it ain’t stopping and if everyone actually knew their history, y’all would know that Israel and Palestine have been fighting for decades. Then, why are people choosing to bitch and complain now this election year. Y’all could have been putting more attention on this years ago. Selective ass outrage.

I’m American and yes I know America has a hand in everything, but oh well. It is what it is. Fuck can I do

And to the the other anon that said American news is shoved down Europe’s throat, I know yall have some type of news station dedicated to yall, but if not, that means you all are too worried about us and that Y’ALL fault. Go cry to yall politicians over there if America is too much for you.

And I’m not one of those patriotic mfs. I can’t stand America at times, but I’m fed up with the way everyone outside of this country is speaking about those two countries. It’s like yall are blatantly ignoring the simple shit. No one supports genocide, but the president and Kamala has no choice but to do their jobs and that is the keep relationships good and the American people safe

Oh yeah, wouldn't want to face the wrath of Israel.....

Next week i will supply your psychotic neighbor with a shotgun and a book on torture. Then i will watch him hold you at gun point while he pulls your toenails out. I will tell the cops that i will try to mediate but secretly i can't because the guy is kinda scary, while you die i will say, don't blame me, don't blame me, i'm just an innocent bystander.

In case the sarcasm wasn't clear, THAT is what you sound like.

[purplesurveys]

1929

What were you doing before you logged on here? I played my rhythm game and also spent a bit of time with Max.

What was the last airline you flew on, and where were you going? I can't remember the airline, but it was our flight from Da Nang back to Manila. Felt like a fever dream, honestly. We took off close to midnight, then upon landing it took the longest 45 minutes before we got the go signal that we could start getting out. Then it took another while to get the immigration stuff sorted out and THEN another while for our bags to come out of the belt thing.

By the time we got home it was around 4:30-5 AM. Cannot even remember how I went from the car to my bed. Also could not be assed to unpack; I just did it the next morning.

Which of your breakups was the hardest for you to get over? I've broken up with the same person twice, but it was the second one that was infinitely harder to deal with because that one had a sense of finality to it.

What did you have for dinner last night? Leftover lechon.

Do you write poetry? If so, what kind of poetry do you write? I'm terrible at creative writing but in the last year I dabbled in like three poems just to tickle my writing braincells a bit. Regardless, I still think they're terrible work and I'm very shy about it to the point that I have each of them written out in completely random pages in my notebook so that they aren't easily seen, even by me.

As for the kind of poetry, my default is to use the stream of consciousness format. I like writing in a wistful tone, usually about heartbreak so I can process the thoughts that remain with me all these years later.

Have your parents traveled to any countries that you have not been to? My dad has traveled to TONS of countries because of his line of work. He's been to both the Americas and Europe – I haven't been outside of Asia.

Did you have acne when you were a teenager? Not much. My acne is apparently the fashionably late type, because it's only started giving me headaches now, in my mid-20s.

What's your favorite type of gemstone? Diamond, I guess, just because it's mine? Hahaha.

Do you prefer sleeping in total darkness, or do you like to have a little bit of light? Darkness. I'd find it very distracting otherwise.

Who was your favorite children's book author when you were a kid? Geronimo Stilton – I don't know their real name.

Would you rather take a class in fencing or archery? Archery.

Has a significant other ever given you the silent treatment during a fight? Yes. She was very hardcore about it, too. Makes me wonder why out of all those million and one times it happened, I never decided to just up and leave. I very well could've done so, when I think about it now. But alas, I was the type of person who felt the need to fight for the relationship.

What is something you took for granted when you were younger? Food. I was a very picky eater.

Have you ever seen the movie Blue is the Warmest Colour? Parts of it. The 3-hour runtime turned me off, lol.

How many bathrooms does your house have? Two.

What was the last thing you borrowed from someone? My sister's jeans.

What are your favorite condiments to put on a burger? Mayonnaise.

What color are your best friend's eyes? Brown.

Have you ever had a stalker? Either I've never had one or they've been doing a fantastic job this whole time.

Would you rather work in an office setting or work from home? Home is fine right now, but it'd also be nice to experience being in an office setting. I've never had it.

[we-are-dreamers42]

Nightingale: We Are Alike Part III

Bucky Barnes x OGcharacter

photo by me

They just had one job. Destroy the base, and anyone inside. Yet it takes a toll on Alexandra and James.

Word Count: 2,037

Series List

WARNING:

Chapter 19

We made it to a small town outside Paris. We’re parked on the street a block away from the warehouse.

It was quiet. I saw no movement. No sign of any life.

“Could be empty.” I said.

“If they’re being hunted like this I would hide out in a place like this. This place was kept secret to most people. No one knows about it.”

“You do.”

“No one watched what they talked about around me. Who was I going to talk to? How did you find this place?”

“I don’t question what he does. The goal is to destroy the building.” I decided not to tell him about the eliminating targets.

I didn’t want to kill anyone, even if they’re bad. I wished Steve was here. He would know what to do. To kill or not to kill. That’s the fucking question. I twirled my knife in my hand. I understood the need to be done. I just didn’t want to be the one to do it.

“Want to talk about it?” James asked. I wear my emotions on my face. He could easily see my conundrum.

I caught the knife by the hilt. I got to put my game face on. Just like any other mission I’m on I need to hyper focus.

“Nope.”

“Is it something I should know?”

“Probably.”

“Then you should say something.”

I looked over at him. He was concerned. He didn’t trust me. To be fair I don’t trust him much either. “We need to eliminate all hostels.”

“You said no killing.”

“I lied. I thought I could do it. I’ve done it before, but… I don’t want to.”

“Seems like you got your answer.”

“You know it’s not that simple. Obviously you were doing the same in the 40’s.”

“That was different.”

“Was it? A band of men recruited to eradicate all known HYDRA bases across Europe.” I imitated the narrating voice at the Smisonian when I was brushing up on my facts about James Barnes. “Same thing still stands. None of them can survive. I don’t feel like history repeating itself for a third time.”

“Doesn’t mean you should force yourself to kill someone.”

“I don’t truly know what you went through, but that aside it has to be done. We can not allow HYDRA to grow again. Do what you need to do, but I’m doing this.”

I got out of the car, and went around to the back. I opened the duffle revealing the explosives.

“You’ve been carrying that in your bag for two days?” He asked, annoyed.

I rolled my eyes. “Seriously. You thought I'd been hoping countries borders with a bag full of C4. No. I picked it up in Berlin. I’m not that reckless.”

I handed him a few charges. “Put these on the supports of the building. Once they’re in position, clear.”

“Why am I here?” He really had a staring problem. He just looked at me all stoic.

“Because you have useful intel.”

“You knew the location without me. You don’t want the contents of the building. You didn’t need me.”

“Maybe I wanted you to come. Get to know who was ingrained into my head. You’re right. You don’t need to be here, but I’d like you to be.” I held out an earpiece for him.

Without breaking eye contact he took it from my hand. I wondered what was going through his head.

“Meet back here.” He grabbed the gun from the car, and stalked down the street.

“You take the back while I sneak through the front.” I said.

“Got it.” He responded.

I looked through the windows, and saw nothing. They all had been painted black. I went around the corner noticing an ajar side door. I pulled a knife from my belt ready to fight as I slowly opened the door to squeeze through.

“I’m in.” James said over comms.

“Me too.” Now just to keep an eye out just in case we crossed paths, and not accidentally kill each other.

My eyes quickly adjusted to the dark. There was graffiti everywhere. It was the only sign that there had been people there.

Walking up to one of the beams that supported the building, and armed one of the blocks of explosives.

Spying a staircase going to the basement. At the bottom there was a large steel door with a number coded lock.

“I have a door here that needs a combination. You know it by chance?” I asked. I wished I had that cool pad Nat used to carry around. I asked for one after D.C, but she refused to give me one.

A couple of numbers had been worn down by being used a lot. So I punched the four buttons randomly. Maybe I’ll get lucky.

“On my way. Don’t try anything till I get there.”

“About that.” I let go of the last button, and a loud alarm blared. The door in front of me slid open with a very loud crash.

“Shit.” I whispered as I’m faced with seven men with their guns trained on me.

There was only a half a second before I threw a knife that hit one in the head. I ducked as they started shooting.

Grabbing the closest man’s gun hand, and twisted his arm. So he’s facing the others and I’m behind him. I took his gun, and started pulling the trigger, hitting two of them. The other three shot at me not caring that they’re hitting the man I held. His body went limp to the ground.

I was about to throw two more knives when three shots rang behind me. The rest of them fell to the ground.

Behind me James had his gun still trained on the lifeless men. I checked all seven of the bodies to ensure that they were all dead.

“They aren’t HYDRA agents.” James said, looking at the three men he shot.

“What do you mean? How could they not be?”

That can’t be true. If it was then… I searched the pockets of one of them till I found a wallet. I stared in horror. This man...or kid was only seventeen. Checking the others. They are all just teenagers.

They looked like adults. They had tattoos, and booze everywhere. I’d even searched one of their phones. From looking at his texts they were far from innocent. They were a part of a local gang telling from the contexts of the messages. Yet they were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, and they died. I killed them.

In my panic of wanting to do well on this mission I had tunnel vision. Looking back I didn’t realise their startled faces as I threw the first shot. I should’ve analized the situation before acting.

Looking over at James was still standing there frozen with the distant stare.

“We need to continue.” I managed to say as my voice was shaking.

His jaw tightened as he pulled out his last charge, and armed it. Not saying a word he left. I followed him till we got back to the car.

Once a safe distance I triggered the bombs. I only stayed there a moment watching the building catch fire.

I drove us the rest of the way to Paris where we got a hotel room. Neither of us said a word the whole time. He dropped his bag on the floor, and went straight for the bathroom. Not even bothering closing the door he stripped to his underwear, and sat in the shower.From here I could see the water turning his skin a deep red.

What compelled me to do this I had no idea. It was like I had no control of my body. I walked into the bathroom. Not bothering taking off my clothes, I joined him.

The water hid the tratorious tear that left my eye. Amazing how the scalding hot water forced my thoughts to only think about the pain. Wish I had thought about doing this sooner.

I rested my head on my knees. “I’m so sorry.” I say to James, the teenagers in the warehouse, their families, to Steve and Nat. They put so much time and effort into me. To redeem me. Then I do this. I’m too broken to fix.

I felt his heavy arm wrap around my shoulders. James pulled me closer to him. I didn’t pull away, instead I rested my head on the side of his chest.

I had no clue how long we stayed like that. It wasn’t until the water ran cold when I pulled myself away. He stayed as I shut the door behind me.

After changing into dry clothing I called Fury on the hotel phone.

“It’s done.” I said the moment he answered.

“Everything go alright?”

“There were...unexpected complications.”

“The warehouse is destroyed?”

“Yes but-”

“Then I don’t care. That’s all I needed from you. Good work.” He hung up.

Unable to control it, I threw the phone across the room. When it hit the wall it shattered. “Fuck.” I said cleaning up the pieces.

I tossed them in the trash as James came out with his dry clothes back on.

I didn’t know what to say. I was horrified I put him into a position he didn’t want to be in. Especially to… I opened my mouth to say something when the door was busted open, and men with guns came pouring in.

Before I could move there were several guns in my face.

“You killed good men tonight.” One of them said to James.

My heart lifted only a little. They were HYDRA agents. That means that they’re recruiting kids. Children. My blood boiled at the thought.

James didn’t say anything. Just started forward at me. He knew what was about to happen, but I was still ignorant.

Until one of them started speaking Russian. Once he started, several men held him down as he struggled.

No idea what was happening I just stood there frozen. What should I do? When the man finished it was like a switch. James was fighting, and yelling to nothing. Just a blank slate. He spoke something in Russain.

I’m fucked. “Kill her, Soldier.”

Watching someone you just had a tender moment with, stride toward you with death in their eyes was terrifying. The men around me spread out.

“James stop.” I said as he threw a punch. I dogged, but he kept coming.

I needed to get out of here. Even if I did beat The Winter Soldier one of these men would just shoot me. I slowly walk backwards to the window. I didn’t want to make any sudden movements. Just in case one of these guys had an itchy finger.

“James, I know you don’t want to do this.” He threw two more punches that I avoided. “Snap out of it.”

He continued his pursuit. My back hit the window. As he aimed for my face I ducked. His fist smashing through the window shattering it.

Thankfully we were on the second floor. As I leapt out of the window only The Winter Soldier followed. Now I have to wake James up or lose him in the city.

I started sprinting down the street. I could hear his thundering steps right behind me. I turned the corner as the back of my shirt was yanked backwards.

I’m pinned against the wall as his metal arm starts to choke the life out of me.

“James.” I tried to pull his hand away, but he wouldn’t budge. I started hitting his chest, but it was completely useless. His eyes were cold, and lifeless as he stared at me. He had no idea who I was.

“Bucky.” I used my last breath to say. “Please.”

There was a moment I could see him come back. He didn’t let go, but his grip weakened just enough for me to maneuver away.

“Run.” He said painfully as he fought for his humanity. He was losing. I fled before he could come after me again. I felt horrible leaving him there, but if I stayed I was as good as dead.

Chapter 20

[signechan]

I mean, both are true.

The person ultimately responsible for how they use the tool is the human but if a tool is predominantly being used in harmful ways we should be able to, as a society, decide if its a thing we want in our communities.

Like, let's look at your examples. Money. We use money to pay for things, yes. Very simplistically the up side of this is that when we wish to aquire something that someone else has or charge others for our services, it's a neutral exchange token with an agreed value. Like, if we live in a barter system and I want to buy the latest kpop album, what on earth do I have that I generate in my roll in customer services that I can barter for that album? If we lived in a little community of 100 and I wanted to buy your extra chicken then barter might work out because we'd both know at harvest that I owe you a share or that when your son needs to build his house that's a favour you can call in for a few days labour but money allows us to live in larger communities and exchange with people who we don't know without worrying how they're going to pay us back. The downside is that for some people getting money becomes an end goal in itself. I believe there's always a problem with unequal distribution of resources because power differentials in all human societies (in our 100 person village, if you're looked up to and I'm an outside I might find it hard demanding fair trade for my chicken, and generational wealth can still exist if you're father and his father before him were both high up in the village and my father was bad at bartering, say, but money allows capitalism and the pursuit of money above all else and leads to larger power differentials than we could ever have in my 100 person village. Ultimately I do think money itself is a net good as it allows larger communities, movement between communities and roles in society that aren't directly related to personally making or gathering enough stuff to physically keep yourself alive, you can do other rolls and use money to trade for that stuff, but we also have an obligation to put limits on the system to stop people becoming ultra wealthy, which we've not done.

Guns for shooting. Ultimately a gun makes it much easier for you to kill something more quickly. Can you kill something without a gun, absolutely. But a gun makes it quicker and easier. There are legitimate reasons why a person may need to own a gun. If they live in a remote location with dangerous fauna they may need it as a protection, for example. If your country is directly involved in armed combat and your enemy also has guns and refused to stop murdering your people, you may need guns to prevent it being a one sided slaughter. Many people who own guns, though, particularly in america, do not have that direct need for them. They keep them for sport or out of a nebulous fear that they might need them in order to protect themselves (people in Europe, say, don't normally feel they need guns for this reason as having fewer guns in society as a whole makes it harder for criminals to get guns so the odds of any given assailant having a gun is much lower). This leads to a larger number of guns in circulation which leads to more accidents, more escalations of situations that could have ended as a shouting match or fist fight but which the presence of a gun turns into a death, the increased ease for bad actors to aquire guns and deliberately endanger others. I don't think having a small, controlled number of guns in society is a bad thing, the problem is when they become so ubiquitous that the dangers outweigh the benefits.

Unfortunately in both these situations money and guns have become so ubiquitous in a damaging way its hard to roll that back. When you've already got the ultra-wealthy and the systems we've created makes it hard for us to affect them, it's hard to change that system to more fairly distribute resources. Guns are so obiquitous in American society that it's very hard to roll it back. People will defend their right to own guns as they see them as necessary because of the threats created by the general public owning a lot of guns. Neither situation is hopeless but it's much harder to change when the system is already embedded.

AI, machine learning has good sides. It can run better anslysis of large data sets than a human. It can do things like look at photos of moles and use a database of pictures of health and cancerous moles to identify cases where intervention may be needed. That's amazing. It can also be used to spread misinformation, put people out of jobs, and steal from people who don't consent to having their data used for machine learning. Ultimately we probably should keep machine learning for the things it does well but we should have controls in place to be sure it can only be trained on data the company has legal rights to use (no public domain, the should have to demonstrate they or the company they purchased the date from had the legal right to use the data in this way and had compensated the recipient. Public domain was fine in print times but has effectively lost all meaning in times of the internet) and that the system actually does what it claims to do, preferably with a law requiring that companies still employ humans as part of teams like customer service with a legal minimum number of operatives needed per however many contacts so as to eliminate the problem we already have where, when you have a problem with a large company, its impossible to talk to a human (oh, that would be impossible you cry. There are industries like child care where we already require minimum staffing levels, it's far from impossible).

The good news with machine learning is that we're new to this. This is exactly the time when we should be investing in legal frameworks around machine learning, while it's still new enough and not embedded enough that we can't control it. But we need to move quickly because tech companies are moving quickly to make this embedded, to be able to say they just can't comply with legislation because oh no its making so much money and it's only ripping off small artists and won't someone think of the American economy.

Sure, the people ultimately responsible are the people who use the tool, but we do still have a job as a society to look at the tool, how we'd like it to be used, what we will do to people who misuse it, how prevalent we'd like it to be on our lives, what we're willing to give up for it. Because if we don't have those conversations and act now, the people who want to steal your art and fire their entire customer service department will get to decide for you and then it'll be too late.

‘AI is stealing from artists and—’ uh oh, careful! machine learning is a tool; nothing else. it only does what human people tell it to do. if you get ripped off by AI, you should point fingers at whoever is profiting from your work. otherwise, you may as well say ‘guns are shooting people’ or ‘money is paying for things’ lmao

[animal25]

Patterdale Terrier: Dog Breed, image, Lifespan, Care Special Info

The mettlesome and energetic Patterdale Terrier is a veritably popular canine in the United States but began in the United Kingdom. Compact, confident, and independent, this cherished canine was first bred to hunt foxes and rabbits.

Although these are thoroughbred tykes, you may still find them in harbors and rescues. Flashback to borrow! Don’t shop if this is the strain for you.

tolerance is demanded when it comes to training as these tykes have a character for being stubborn. still, they’re fascinating and tender and will form strong bonds with their primary caregiver.

These lovable pups love big and small families likewise as long as they get an abundance of attention — because they will demand it! That said, large families might work stylish for them because there are further people to interact with, and Patterdale Terriers don’t like being left alone for any length of time.

This is a high-energy canine and would not be happy in a low-energy family.

A large home in the vicinity or country is ideal. Make sure you have a secure yard, as they’re prone to tracking and wandering off.

Origin: Europ

Height: About 12 inches

Weight: 11 to 13 pounds

Lifespan: 11 to 13 years

Color: Red, Blue, Black, Tan, Chocolate

Breed Characteristics

The Patterdale Terrier is a British canine strain, but it isn’t honored by the FCI or the KC. still, since 1995 it has been honored by the UKC.

Since the Patterdale Terrier was designed more for utility than for appearance, its appearance is veritably different. still, to 95 they’re black.

The terriers are also available in chocolate, argentine, red, and black tan. sometimes they’ve white bases or a white casket. A typical terrier specific is the pooching, triangular hanging cognizance. Their hair is short and straight to spiky.

Depending on the strain, the Patterdale Terrier differs not only in appearance but also in character. nonetheless, they all have one thing in common a lot of energy, a strong tone- of confidence, and a pronounced stalking instinct.

still, he turns out to be a real pack of energy outside, which is why only a proprietor with sufficient canine experience would be recommended If he still seems calm and relaxed at home. They need harmonious education and aren’t freshman tykes.

In general, he’s a veritably loving family canine. He gets along veritably well with children and can play with them for hours due to his high-energy position. The only important thing is that the small, active terrier gets his diurnal exercise so that his hot temper can cool down a bit.

A Patterdale Terrier needs a lot of exercise and exertion when you aren’t leading him hunting. Offers like disc dogging, dog dancing, obedience, dexterity, or shadowing would be a good volition for the little pack of energy. For protection or event canine sports, the small four-lawful musketeers are also immaculately suited.

faves, especially rodents or pussycats, shouldn’t live in the ménage due to his strong stalking instinct. It’s also judicious to keep him on a leash during walks. As soon as he smells commodity, there’s no turning back. With his thick cranium, he also overhears hisses or calls relatively intensively.

Patterdale Terrier History

The Patterdale Terrier began in the rugged Lakes Region of Northern England. Experts believe they descend from the fell terrier which is not a strain but rather a group of long-lawful working terrier types from Great Britain.

This group also includes the Patterdale Terrier, Lakeland Terrier, and Scorrier Terrier. occasionally called Fell Patterdale or Borderlakeland, the Patterdale Terrier is a subtype of the Lakeland Terrier.

British growers used the Patterdale to hunt foxes that hovered their flocks of lamb. These tough little tykes would either flush foxes from their rocky dens or snappily dispatch them if they put up a fight. When the strain arrived in the United States, it continued its working- canine way — hunting raccoons, nutria, and fox.

In their early days, these pups earned a character as inexhaustible and tenacious workers. moment, they admit inversely high marks as eager-to-please companions and amusing faves. The United Kennel Club honored the Patterdale Terrier in 1995.

More details:https://animalatoz.com/patterdale-terrier/

[animala2z]

Patterdale Terrier: Dog Breed, image, Lifespan, Care Special Info

The mettlesome and energetic Patterdale Terrier is a veritably popular canine in the United States but began in the United Kingdom. Compact, confident, and independent, this cherished canine was first bred to hunt foxes and rabbits.

Although these are thoroughbred tykes, you may still find them in harbors and rescues. Flashback to borrow! Don’t shop if this is the strain for you.

tolerance is demanded when it comes to training as these tykes have a character for being stubborn. still, they’re fascinating and tender and will form strong bonds with their primary caregiver.

These lovable pups love big and small families likewise as long as they get an abundance of attention — because they will demand it! That said, large families might work stylish for them because there are further people to interact with, and Patterdale Terriers don’t like being left alone for any length of time.

This is a high-energy canine and would not be happy in a low-energy family.

A large home in the vicinity or country is ideal. Make sure you have a secure yard, as they’re prone to tracking and wandering off.

Origin: Europ

Height: About 12 inches

Weight: 11 to 13 pounds

Lifespan: 11 to 13 years

Color: Red, Blue, Black, Tan, Chocolate

Breed Characteristics

The Patterdale Terrier is a British canine strain, but it isn’t honored by the FCI or the KC. still, since 1995 it has been honored by the UKC.

Since the Patterdale Terrier was designed more for utility than for appearance, its appearance is veritably different. still, to 95 they’re black.

The terriers are also available in chocolate, argentine, red, and black tan. sometimes they’ve white bases or a white casket. A typical terrier specific is the pooching, triangular hanging cognizance. Their hair is short and straight to spiky.

Depending on the strain, the Patterdale Terrier differs not only in appearance but also in character. nonetheless, they all have one thing in common a lot of energy, a strong tone- of confidence, and a pronounced stalking instinct.

still, he turns out to be a real pack of energy outside, which is why only a proprietor with sufficient canine experience would be recommended If he still seems calm and relaxed at home. They need harmonious education and aren’t freshman tykes.

In general, he’s a veritably loving family canine. He gets along veritably well with children and can play with them for hours due to his high-energy position. The only important thing is that the small, active terrier gets his diurnal exercise so that his hot temper can cool down a bit.

A Patterdale Terrier needs a lot of exercise and exertion when you aren’t leading him hunting. Offers like disc dogging, dog dancing, obedience, dexterity, or shadowing would be a good volition for the little pack of energy. For protection or event canine sports, the small four-lawful musketeers are also immaculately suited.

faves, especially rodents or pussycats, shouldn’t live in the ménage due to his strong stalking instinct. It’s also judicious to keep him on a leash during walks. As soon as he smells commodity, there’s no turning back. With his thick cranium, he also overhears hisses or calls relatively intensively.

Patterdale Terrier History

The Patterdale Terrier began in the rugged Lakes Region of Northern England. Experts believe they descend from the fell terrier which is not a strain but rather a group of long-lawful working terrier types from Great Britain.

This group also includes the Patterdale Terrier, Lakeland Terrier, and Scorrier Terrier. occasionally called Fell Patterdale or Borderlakeland, the Patterdale Terrier is a subtype of the Lakeland Terrier.

British growers used the Patterdale to hunt foxes that hovered their flocks of lamb. These tough little tykes would either flush foxes from their rocky dens or snappily dispatch them if they put up a fight. When the strain arrived in the United States, it continued its working- canine way — hunting raccoons, nutria, and fox.

In their early days, these pups earned a character as inexhaustible and tenacious workers. moment, they admit inversely high marks as eager-to-please companions and amusing faves. The United Kennel Club honored the Patterdale Terrier in 1995.

Appearance

As working terriers bred to hunt vermin, Patterdale terriers were bred for their strength and stamina- not their aesthetics. This means there can be significant variations in their appearances.

All Patterdale terriers are compact tykes, standing just 10- 15 elevation altitudinous and importing lower than 13 pounds. They are sturdy, have long legs, and their triangular cognizance folds down. But when it comes to their fleece length, texture, and color, Patterdale terriers look fully different.

[vampireinterview]

what exactly is going on in Poland right now

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when the Polish Constitutional Tribunal proclaimed abortion illegal in the case of a fetus with a defect and/or one which is potentially dead. Perhaps there is some truth to the statement that the people should have seen it coming for years. And the same thing could be said about the fact that today, on a peaceful Wednesday on January 27th, the ruling was officially published, making it the letter of the law. 

So, what does this mean, exactly? Well, for one it makes abortion virtually illegal. The only instances in which a fetus can be legally removed are as follows: (a) legal proof of rape or incest and (b) endangerment of the life of the person carrying the fetus. 

(source)

In reality, the numbers speak for themselves: while about a thousand abortions used to be performed every year in Poland, roughly 40 of them will now be legal (for example, the data from 2019 says that out of the 1110 operations performed that year, 1074 would be illegal as of today). Rape is undeniably almost impossible to prove in court, not to mention even getting a ruling within the first few months (realistically such cases take years and are almost never ruled in favor of the victim). Abortion therefore isn’t fully illegal, but almost unreachable for anybody (even if their health is at risk, an example of which might be the case of Alicja Tysiąc who wanted to perform an abortion because of her health and was denied that right, later on fully losing her eyesight upon being forced to give birth).

The previous law did not allow choice in the case of a healthy fetus & a healthy mother, making it one of the strictest law systems in this regard in Europe, but what it did is it offered a way out for people who were carrying a fetus that was dead or ill. So what happened? In short: the Constitutional Tribunal happened. 

(source)

What the Tribunal is supposed to be is a body meant to guard the constitution from the potential laws imposed by the ruling parties. The politicization of the Tribunal is widely regarded to have made it into the exact opposite of that: it seems like an institution almost openly repurposed to solidify conservative and right wing reform drafted by the ruling party (Law and Justice). With its politics leaning heavily into the positions taken by the Catholic Church, the ban had already been attempted multiple times in the past. The justices put into the positions of power at the Tribunal voted on the abortion ban on October 22nd but they had yet to publish the ruling.

Meanwhile, people took to the streets. Tens of thousands marched for weeks, with the red lightning as their symbol, screaming about the many injustices the ruling party and the Polish Catholic Church have committed. The many instances of police brutality did not scare people away as they formed what is estimated to be the biggest street protests in the history of the country. The anti choice lobbyists celebrated but the overwhelming majority of the country disagreed with the Tribunal’s ruling (according to some polls as much as 75% of Poles wish to re-institute the old abortion “compromise” which consisted in the right to remove a fetus with defects, and when surveying among people aged 18-29, that percentage rose all the way up to 96%).

That being said, the social unrest started making people question the previous “compromise”, and there was a public debate about perhaps even fighting for a full pro choice option, allowing Poles to perform abortion surgeries as freely as the people from other European countries have done for the past decades. The ruling party backed down for a while, hesitant to publish the official law, waiting all the way to the last moment.

(source)

Today marks the day when abortion, in practice, becomes illegal in Poland. The publishing of the ruling was sudden, quiet, unannounced in hopes of reducing the public outrage. Performing an abortion has become a luxury for the people who can afford leaving the country and paying for a surgery at a private clinic somewhere abroad. That is virtually impossible for the members of the working class. Groups that are also especially vulnerable are LGBTQ+ people and people from rural areas who often find no financial or emotional support in their local communities and family members. 

And so it goes. Many of us are taking to the streets again. Big cities outside of Poland will also be hosting protests in solidarity with the people in Poland. I decided against posting any direct links to the events but you can easily find them on social media, they usually gather around Polish embassies. You can also consider donating a couple of bucks to the Abortion Dream Team (an organization helping Polish people with financing abortions in foreign countries and/or help in covering the travel expanses) or to the Women’s Strike (an organization which organizes the protests). 

If you want to learn more & see more of the protests in November and December, here are some mainstream videos in English you can watch: (x) (x) (x) (x)