#because there are almost 2000 of them and i just haven't had time to sort them

[woundedheartwithin]

[monstersinthecosmos]

Do you think Marius still loves Armand in the last books? Does he want Armand to return to him? Marius seemed to have left him in the past

The short answer is YEAH OF COUSRE HE LOVES ARMAND TO DEATH but let’s talk about this for a minute!

The question of whether or not Marius loves him is the easier one to answer. Armand is one of the great loves of Marius’s life! In the beginning of TVA (when he’s just spent however much time thinking Armand is dead) he’s a DISHEVELED MESS! And at the beginning of B&G he’s super lonely and isolated and seems worried about stuff he’s done recently and people in his life being mad at him. (Benji & Sybelle Incident? Something else?) I think when you look at a vampire like Marius, it’s remarkable that he makes it 2000 years only turning THREE fledglings (not counting when we get to B+S and Viktor bc that gets into like, vampire favors and isn’t really for himself LOL), vs a character like Lestat who made 3 fledglings in his first 11 years. These are the great loves of Marius’s life and not decisions he made lightly! And while I think we can (and have) sort of untangled selfish vs. selfless love in Marius’s life, I think it’s really important that 500 years later he couldn’t forgive Santino. Is that on his own behalf alone or on Armand’s? There’s a lot of unpack but! He loves Armand! He does!!!!!

But anyway on the topic of returning to each other;

I think their last conversation in BCtu sort of opens a door that they’re going to speak to each and work things out. Canonically, that’s all the information we get. We also never explicitly get information about like, what exactly is wrong between them presently. We know that

they had a big fight at the end of TVA but that they calmed down

Armand has been afraid of Marius because he's scared that Marius doesn't still love him like he used to

in ROA Marius said he had the savage & ignorant soul of a child.

I always assume there's just 500 years of tension and conversations they've avoided, but we also never get a confirmation that they HAVEN'T had these conversations off screen anyway. So canonically, all we know is that they just had a traumatic experience and want to talk to each other.

Also canonically, they’re making another attempt at Vampire Commune and we don’t have an answer of like, will it stick this time, will it dissolve like Night Island, is it sustainable AT ALL to have a small group of the elite making rules and holding dominion over an entire culture???????? Reader’s choice lol.

But it leaves a question of like, what does returning to each other look like in this setup—they’re in touch now, they can find each other, they have cell phones, Armand can come and go at the Château as needed, Marius has a room at Trinity Gate, etc. Their relationship is civil and functional at this point. And does “returning” mean to be exclusive companions and to fuck off? Will Marius leave Court? Will Armand come and stay more often?  Idk ! 

These are questions that have 100 different answers because it’s all headcanon, but, what we know by the end of the series is that they’ve gone through something traumatic and Armand and Marius are going to talk to each other. What is that conversation about? What is the result? We don’t know. Armand is letting his FEELINGS THE FUCK OUT in this book as if he's had therapy, and Marius says he thinks Armand is ready to open his heart, if that gives us any clues! But does opening his heart mean "I am feeling vulnerable and brave to tell you how I feel because I almost lost you" or "I'm gonna read you the fuckin riot act because I did that to Lestat as well" ? lol Either way the thing here is that it's ARMAND'S decision and not about whether or not Marius left him in the past.

I think something that often goes overlooked in character discussions is their inherent inhumanity, and I really dislike the “thEyRe MonStErs” easy out of a lot of analyses, because it’s more than that. The entire purpose of the series and the reason the series was unique is that built a world where they’re MORE THAN. It’s not about simply being a monster—there’s nothing simple about it. And not being human doesn’t mean it’s all negative and all evil. What it means is that it’s Extra. They feel things on such a deeper level than we do, their brains function differently, and they’re immortal. They have all the time in the world to forgive each other when they want to, and they’re social creatures who want companions! The older you are, the scarier it is! It’s horror! Like even Marius’s relationship with Mael is so fucking special because like, as much as they put each other off, it’s like, someone they each still have, that’s been constant, and the world would look so different without them.

It just reminded me of this line in Six Feet Under (sorry I’m obsessed, I think everything always comes back to SFU for me LOL) but when Brenda says she used to think as she got older that she’d have more people in her life and that the opposite was true. So anyway for Marius like, regardless of if we want to get into selfish/selfless, Armand is one of the most important people in his life, and has been around for a quarter of Marius’s life, and nothing would be the same if Armand wasn’t around. 

And without the distraction of The Parents in the modern age I wonder if he’s like especially fragile and traumatized about losing people? Is he still traumatized by losing Pandora? And losing Armand the first time? It’s great that they have cell phones and a community now so no one gets too far from each other, but gosh.  

I don’t know what returning to each other looks like, as far as where canon left. Like, does the Château collapse? Is Daniel with them? Asking if Marius wants it is like, yeah maybe he would want Armand around Court more for moral support. And maybe if he decides to step away, and get space, maybe he would want Armand there with him as a safe place to land. When the Court inevitably collapses, will he want someone around? 

In the past, Marius tended to isolate himself in times of stress; is he still like that? Has the loss of The Parents changed this for him? Will Daniel and Armand allow him to isolate? Idk ! !!! 

But anyway sorry I’m rambling but my point about not being human and about being Extra is that there are a lot of parts in the series where vampires have a relationship or forgive each other even after they’ve deeply hurt each other or committed atrocities. Louis and Armand come to mind, so do Louis and Lestat, David and Lestat, Pandora and Santino. Even Marius calming down enough to be in his situationship with Avicus and sorta metamour to Mael. They are not human, they are capable of forgiveness. There are atrocities that humans are capable of never forgiving because we don’t have time to get over it. How can we even know how much time it takes to heal a grudge if we don’t live long enough to test it?

Even knowing that, 500 years still wasn’t enough to forgive Santino for what he did to them. Like sure if we wanna dunk on Marius and remind ourselves that he’s an arrogant self-centered jerk sometimes, and we could say that he’s mad at Santino for what he did to MARIUS—it’s not just the ego this time. He took Armand. He separated Marius and Armand. He destroyed their home. And even if they cooperated a few times in the 20th century, by the time B&G happens, he's been able to read TVA and knows what happened, what Santino did to him, what he did to the boys. (Like, did Marius read TVA? Did Armand ever tell him this privately? We don't know! But we do know that this is now been published for EVERYONE to read which is probably re-traumatizing for everyone involved and now everyone knows hajkgsdl)

So anyway, like. I know this has kinda been a non-answer because we’re talking about stuff that didn’t happen in canon and everything past BCtu is going to be our own headcanons. But I can say: Yes, Marius loves Armand deeply, and vampires are capable of incredible levels of empathy and forgiveness for each other, because their lives are too long and bleak and painful not to.

As to the idea that Marius left him in the past, personally I don’t agree! 

Marius not rescuing Armand from the cult is often misunderstood in fandom, but I could see why someone would point to that as a clue that Marius has left him in the past. It’s not that simple, though. Marius is too injured to save him, doesn’t even know if he’s alive,  and by the time he finally finds Armand he finds the cult situation too complicated to navigate. Don’t forget that Marius has pretty severe religious trauma, and is one of the characters who was turned against his will. By a cult!!! So to see Armand thriving with a cult is so triggering and disappointing, and I don’t think he’s strong enough to risk being rejected if he goes to rescue Armand only to learn he no longer wishes to be rescued. 

I would say that’s very unlike leaving him in the past, it’s more like seeing him as another one that got away. 

And then when they reunite in QOTD it’s during another extremely traumatic event in Marius’s life—we don’t know details about how everyone left Night Island or where everyone went, but what we DO know is that Marius lost The Parents—>Armand attempts suicide about a decade later—>Marius commits the big B+S Fuckup shortly after learning Armand is okay—>Marius fucks off to Scandinavia with Daniel to lick his wounds because everyone’s mad at him. 

VC skips around a LOT, and there’s so much that we don’t learn about, so much that happens between books and off screen. Like, we don’t KNOW how Marius wound up with Daniel. We don’t know exactly how much longer he stuck around in New Orleans after TVA, we don’t know what he and Armand were gonna talk about in BCtu before the series ended. And that’s the enD oF IT THERE’S NOTHING ELSE!

Marius truly doesn’t leave anything in the past, that’s the thing about him.

He’s still traumatized by the way he was turned. He still tries to sculpt his identity around what his life was as a Roman. He committed to the burden of The Parents for 2000 years, even when he was overwhelmed and wished he could stop. He spends centuries painting Pandora’s face over and over and over when he can’t find her. He still thinks Mael is a bumbling redneck from the woods. He still wanted Santino killed, even when they’d been civil with each other in QOTD and up to TVA.

And in BCtu when he’s living at Court he’s like, trying to embrace himself, allowing himself to be a weirdo because he’s around his own kind now. HE QUITS PANTS, YOU KNOW WHAT? HE ALWAYS HATED PANTS, LET’S NOT. 

I think even as humans there are so many things that shape us forever, that we never really move past. Even when we leave something in the past, it shapes us, it allows us to leave it in the past. People and events in our lives carve into us, whether we like it or not!!! And part of the horror of immortality is that it goes on, and on, and on, and on, your physical body gets hard and cold and monstrous, more and more uncanny, physically impervious, but their BRAINS AND HEARTS ARE STILL TENDER!! 

So no, no, I really don’t think Marius ever left Armand in the past. I think he left him to the cult because he thought Armand wanted it, I also think he gave Armand space after a disastrous fuckup. When he goes to speak to him at the end, he says it like ARMAND is the one that’s ready. He’s waiting for Armand! Marius was there the whole time, ready to be called upon if someone needs him! He lives to serve! 

Armand was his baby and one of the great loves of his life, the first (and only) fledgling he made because he truly wanted to. Marius loves him so much!!! 

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (November 26-December 2, 2023)

I wasn't over the moon when Toho announced that Takashi Yamazaki's Blockbuster Monster Movie was in fact the next Godzilla film. I had seen a few of his works—none bad, but none spectacular either. Well, I've set my sights on watching the rest in the new year, because Godzilla Minus One is an unqualified masterpiece. A tagline from the original Godzilla, King of the Monsters! comes to mind (as it often does when you're me): "Mightiest melodrama of them all!" A lot of the post-Showa films suffer from an abundance of characters who just spout exposition and look at monitors; here, almost everyone in the small cast gets at least one close encounter with Godzilla, and the monster's backstory is conveyed with extreme efficiency. This tale of a war veteran trying to rebuild his life in the ruins of Tokyo, stumbling into a family, finding fulfillment in blowing up leftover mines, and haunted by what he perceives as his cowardice in combat, would have been plenty compelling without Godzilla.

Since it does have Godzilla, it's high on my list of the best movies of the year, and I only need one viewing to call it one of the best installments in the almost-70-year-old series. Yamazaki patiently waited some 15 years after Always: Sunset on Third Street 2 for his shot at a Godzilla feature. You certainly get the sense, watching one of the most brutal, pissed-off incarnations of the monster ever to grace the screen, that he spent every day of it in preparation. Watch it often while it's still in theaters, and watch it big.

Godzilla Minus One will gross about $10 million in its U.S. opening "weekend", a third-place finish that beat expectations. For context, Godzilla 2000, the last Toho Godzilla film to receive a wide release here, made about $10 million during its entire theatrical run here. Ticket prices were cheaper then, of course, and Minus One was helped along further by almost half of attendees going to premium-format screenings. Conversely, it had to overcome Americans' subtitle phobia, and the first weekend of December is usually a slow one. I was pessimistic at the outset, but now I expect larger theaters to carry the film into the new year, especially with near-universal raves from critics and audiences.

Yes, a third section for Godzilla Minus One; it's well-deserved, I promise. MyKaiju is risking life and limb by hosting an English translation of the film's novelization, written by Takashi Yamazaki himself. It appears to be at least partially machine-translated, but the Japanese text is included for comparison. Haven't read it yet, as I want to see the film a second time first, but quite a breakthrough given how mysterious this sort of thing usually is.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters could never hope to compare with the opening of a stellar new Godzilla film; unfortunately, I also thought this week's episode was the weakest so far. It's bookended by Frost-Vark action, but the rest just drags. All's forgiven if the teacher and the hacker smooch though.

Toho and Legendary used to let each other's live-action Godzilla movies breathe; now the U.S. opening weekend of one is coinciding with the opening marketing push of the other. IGN released a trio of pics from Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, showing Kong with his axe; Dr. Andrews, Jia, and Trapper (Dan Stevens's character) in uniform; and Godzilla "evolving into a powerful new form." The same article included an interview with director Adam Wingard. Naturally, he didn't give away much... besides the return of Doug.

Earlier in the week, Legendary put out a trio of posters featuring Godzilla, Kong, and the film's antagonist, now christened Skar King. The taglines ("Unite" for our heroes, "Bow to Your King" for SK) sound like kaiju campaign slogans. Makes me wonder if, like Godzilla vs. Megalon before it, the movie will improbably capitalize on the presidential election next year. To steal a joke from Titanollante: Godzilla/Kong unity ticket? They'd have my vote.

Godzilla's new form, meanwhile, has already been spoiled by a T-shirt on Legendary's own site and some dire-looking Playmates figures. It makes sense that Wingard would want to have his own spin on the character after keeping the design from Godzilla: King of the Monsters for Godzilla vs. Kong. Hard to cast judgment without seeing the real design in full, but there's one particular detail I really like.

The film also has a booth at CCXP in Brazil, with a panel later today, so I think a trailer is incoming (the main reason I hammered out this whole post so quickly).

I missed this one last week: Tsuburaya announced an anime project called Ultraman: DARKNESS HEELS. The DARKNESS HEELS branding has been around for a while, spotlighting prominent evil Ultras—and, of course, Jugglus Juggler. No details on the anime yet, but if the Juggleman's there, so am I.

The big toy reveal this weekend was Super7's ULTIMATES! MaiGoji figure. Previous Godzilla figures from this line haven't lived up to the official photos, but hope springs eternal. It's $85 (much less than the MonsterArts); preorders started Friday. Other highlights: a Super7 ReAction figure of the original Godzilla's skeleton, which comes with a little Oxygen Destroyer, and a plush Mothra from Surreal Entertainment that can flip to imago form to a neck pillow-shaped larva.

[asmallcommitteeoffrogs]

The way I see it, each life series is related to a season.

Third Life- Fall

Last Life- Winter

Double Life- Spring

Limited Life- Summer

Secret Life- Fall

Real Life- Winter?

Third Life is fall. Now, you might say, "but, Frog, what about Red Winter?" to which I point out that Red Winter was coming, but it never fully came. The Red King and Dogwarts fell before it could ever officially be winter. Third Life is also fall because of the slow decent into death of everything as well as scarcity of resources as winter approaches. It's not winter yet, but it lurks on the horizon and as things get colder, so do the players and their relationships with each other.

Last Life is winter. I haven't actually seen Last Life in a while so this might not be a great analysis but bear with me. Everyone sort of went into this season with an almost sense of scramble and knowing what was to come. The winter set in quick and they all made their groups hastily in an attempt for shelter (which ended up causing unstable alliances). The boogyman caused distrust as players just tried to survive and keep themselves safe. Everything feels inevitable and every player is aware of what's at the end. I have strong feelings about this one, but if anyone else who is more familiar with Last Life wants to add on, please please do.

Double Life is spring. Third time around, everybody is sort of starting to get used to the game and how it goes. They know what'll happen, but their attitudes are lighter. The ranchers ranch, new fresh partnerships are made, and everyone is sort of out and about. New elements are introduced such as, goat horns, allays, frogs, powdered snow, and the warden (rip Rancher's Revenge). The whole energy feels kind of excited and fresh in a way. Like just coming out of hibernation.

Limited Life is summer. I feel like I don't need to explain this one too much. The amount of water and ocean themes we get tie into the warm weather aspect. Everyone is social with each other (even if that's because of murder). I've seen this season compared to little kids playing pretend on the playground which sort of ties in with the fun and lighthearted energy. And yet the ticking timer reminds them that nothing, not even summer, can last forever (play 2000's teen summer movie trailer music here)

Secret Life is fall and it's the start of the season cycle again. Lizzie's pumpkin vibes help this theory. This season also had a sense of division to it with the secret tasks forcing people to go off on their own most of the time. In sort of a call back to Third Life, this season could be seen as a omen of what's to come in the winter, and I think that with, as the biggest thing, the Canary Curse getting broken can show that these people have changed and that they are prepared for the winter ahead and that things are going to be different.

And then I guess Real Life would be winter. I haven't quite figured out where this fits into my season theory, but I feel like it could show how this winter is different than the ones that came before. I admit, this season was too short to get a great vibe, so depending on the next season it might get cut to Fall 2.0 (cause I definitely think it's been accepted as canon and I don't want to just remove it)

Anyways those are my thoughts. I'd love to hear what anybody else thinks. I definitely could have said more about some of these but I don't want to ramble too much. I also feel like this could kind of tie into some funky things with the winners too, but I'll save that for another time.

[firephoenix2305]

This is a Rory Williams appreciation post

Because I have recently finished season 6 and I need to shout about it to someone.

(Disclaimer: Severe season 5 and 6 spoilers ahead. If you haven't watched them yet, run away very very fast. Or don't, it's up to you. But you have been warned)

Okay, don't get me wrong. I love Amy, she's great. And I love The Doctor, because well, he's The Doctor, and also Matt Smith, so he's great too.

But.

But. But. But

If I had to pick a favorite...

Rory. Fucking.Arthur. Williams.

I don't even know where to start with this man.

The way he loves Amy. The way he cares about her more than the entire goddamn universe. The way he DOES NOT BUDGE from her side even when she kisses another man the night before their wedding, then proceeds to severely third-wheel him in a very Mickey Smith sort of way for the better part of two episodes (which in retrospect isn't really that much, but STILL) and takes her sweet time to realize she is in love with him.

We are talking, ladies and gentlemen, about the Last goddamn Centurion. This is a man who willingly lived through every single second of 2000 years of human history only to protect Amy Pond. 2000 years without so much as a wink of sleep, or rest, or any synonym of the word. How does this man's heart not physically burst from the sheer amount of love he has for Amy?!?!

I just...I want one. I want a Rory. Does anybody know where I can find a Rory? Pretty please?

And another thing. I'm not sure what it was that Rory did to the writers of this show but JESUS CHRIST. Why so much hate?

And just to prove I'm not even exaggerating, here's a brief summary of some of the things which have happened to this poor guy in seasons 5 and 6. (From the point where he officially joins Amy and The Doctor in the TARDIS onwards, that is)

- S5E7. Killed by the Eknodine in the Dream Lord's fake reality. (And given that horrible ponytail, btw)

- S5E9. Murdered in cold blood by a rogue Silurian, then absorbed by a time crack and hence deleted from the memory of the entire universe. (Being murdered obviously wasn't enough, no)

- S5E13. This is a big one. Revived as an Auton, realized Amy doesn't remember him, then when Amy finally does remember he unwillingly kills her because of his programming (which he eventually breaks free from), stays with the Pandorica for 2000 odd years and finally, after all of that, gets erased from reality. Again. (But it's okay because The Doctor has rebooted the universe, so real Rory came back. Or, rather, never left in the first place. Doctor Who is complicated, okay?!)

- S6E3. To start off the season well, he drowns and practically dies, and is then transferred to a spaceship healing facility where he is essentially hooked to a live support system until Amy brings him back to life.

- S6E4. Tortured and "killed" by the thing controlling the TARDIS, who had a blast warping time and making him go crazy and ultimately making him die of old age. (Not sure if it even counts as a death, but his rotting skeleton was there, so I'm counting it)

- S6E6. Finds out that his wife is not actually his wife but is instead a bunch of sentient flesh which is pretending to be his wife; and that his actual wife is nine months pregnant and currently giving birth to their daughter God knows where. (I did say it was complicated).

- S6E7. Finds Amy and baby Melody, only to lose Melody to the creepy eye patch lady because having lost Amy in the exact same way the previous episode clearly wasn't enough torture for him.

- S6E10. Has "other" Amy (the older version) absolutely hate his guts for something which isn't his fault at all, and has to re-convince her that she loves him. Again. (Seriously, Amy?). Then, he has to sacrifice the other Amy to save his Amy, which was extremely painful for him. (Man, this season gets weirder and weirder, doesn't it?)

- S6E13. Suffers inhumane amounts of pain and almost dies (again) when he lets himself be electrocuted by the eye patch thingy to give Amy, River and The Doctor time to escape. (I know this wasn't technically the same Rory that went through all those other things, but I decided to include it anyway)

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED SEASON 7 YET. Give the man a break! And stop killing him, for God's sake!

(I know this won't happen, because although I haven't watched S7 I accidentally spoiled the whole weeping angel business to myself, so yeah)

And lastly, this scene >>>

Do. Not. Fuck. With the roman.

I just love him.

That is all. Thanks for hearing me out, I feel better.

(@capinejghafa was the furthest back I could track these gifs, but I don't know if they were the one who made them).

[runwayrunway]

No. 44 - FedEx Express

If you have ever sent or received a package, particularly if you live in the United States, you may be familiar with FedEx, and @magic-gps requested that I discuss their airplanes!

FedEx (founded and formerly known as Federal Express) is a massive network for transportation of mail and cargo, and Federal Express Express (okay, no, I can't call it that, FedEx is legally the full name even though we all know what it's really short for) is its airborne branch, making up the largest cargo airline by fleet and freight tonnes conveyed in the entire world. Their largest customer is the US Postal Service, with whom they have an exclusive contract - any USPS air mail is carried by FedEx Express - but they also fly for countless other clients. They cover so much ground (air) that they not only have a dozen hubs but an additional SUPERHUB, located in Memphis. They're what DHL is for Europe but doing bigger numbers, and that's with UPS, Atlas Air, and Kalitta Air to compete with. Although they're based in the US, their website claims that their destinations include every US zip-code, plus "over 220" countries and territories. There are 195 internationally recognized countries at present. I don't think saying they fly everywhere is even really hyperbole at this point.

FedEx's fleet is massive and eclectic. They have the world's largest cargo fleet, with 650 planes (which are named by employees, frequently after their children). Add in FedEx Feeder, a second fleet of small propeller airplanes dry-leased to local carriers for use ferrying small loads to the full-size jets, and there's a total of 699 FedEx liveries in the skies with 88 more on order. They occupy whole swathes of tarmac. They're everywhere. Like snails after the rain.

Oh, and apparently this livery was designed by Lindon Leader (what a name) of Landor Associates, the prolific and highly regarded design firm responsible for hits like the SAS belly stripe livery and misses like JAL's two previous designs. I have higher standards for liveries that are just absolutely everywhere, so let's see if Landor was able to live up to them.

I'm going to be specifically talking about, because I presume this is what the requester meant, the livery FedEx adopted in 1994. The timeline of this is interesting, because the name of the airline stayed Federal Express until 2000, when the entire company rebranded from Federal Express to FedEx and added the redundant 'Express' to the airline's name. I've always thought that was very funny, and while that's charming to me I don't think I should be encouraging things like this. It's just sloppy and a bit weird to say.

Before they adopted the livery they did briefly trial a new logo. From 1991 to 1994 they had this!

Boy do I not like that! It's significant to the history of the company in that it shifted the colorscheme from indigo and burgundy to purple and orange, except that the difference in brightness here is really almost upsetting and the logo itself is...it looks like that. It's very TRON somehow. I don't find the tackiness pleasant. It's just ugly. The typeface they chose is bad. The wriggly X is nice but every other letter looks a unique sort of hideous, with the E in particular looking like a rake made of sponge which has been placed in water and left to soak. Thankfully they moved on quickly, replacing this logo at the same time as their livery.

The fact that there's six years between the visual rebrand and official renaming is interesting. Federal Express was already colloquially known as FedEx before the official renaming, and used it in their branding, but they weren't legally FedEx yet, so for that little span their planes bore both names.

This adolescent period in the life of modern FedEx featured the 'Federal Express' subtitle in this serif mystery font which I haven't seen mentioned at all anywhere. I couldn't find many more pictures with the full 'Federal Express', but there's a scattering of seriffed planes out there, it seems. It looks a lot better with the 'Federal' taken out just by virtue of legibility, and I have to say I'm very keen on the way the subtitle is offset to align with the start of the E. It looks nice and aerodynamic. When the first word is taken out it has the extra benefit of lining 'Express' up with the 'Ex' that stands for it.

But there it is! The FedEx logo. Adopted in 1994, considered a contender for the best logo ever made, winner of over 40 awards.

I want to disclaim for a moment. I think it's always been somewhat implicit that my opinions are just one manifestation of the infinite variability of human thought and inevitably subjective but I do need to re-stress this now: these are my own hot takes. My opinion is not legally binding. Lindon Leader is an incredibly accomplished designer and I'm not even a designer at all. There is a reason that FedEx's logo is so widely acclaimed. My criticism of it is not an attempt to contest its legacy, and is - again - just my opinion. And it is an opinion colored not only by the fact that I'm an amateur, and by the fact that my tastes are different from other people's, but by the fact that this logo is quite literally older than I am, and tastes have most certainly evolved since then.

I think the FedEx logo is...okay. I certainly do not despise it, but I would stop very short of calling it the best logo ever. I'm going to talk about why I'm so underwhelmed by it, and it's going to sound like I don't like this logo for a bit, but if you power through that you will see that my opinion about it isn't as straightforward as the sum of my opinions about its parts.

The fantastic thing about this particular logo is that it's easily the most-discussed and best-documented bit of branding I've yet covered, so it was a delight to research. I didn't even have to call in my font wizard, for example, because Leader explicitly states what it is in this interview - a proprietary typeface heavily inspired by Univers 67 Bold Condensed and Futura Bold. I actually like Futura (the Cyrillic version is one of my favorite Cyrillic typefaces) but don't love Univers 67 - it reminds me way too much of the handwriting style I was drilled in at school. US schools have truly heinous taste in the penmanship they teach, and much like how Parker cursive inherently reminds me of third grade, Univers 67 feels to me like an adult version of something I've long since outgrown. The design of the letterforms here, with the exaggerated x-height and all the lines (crossbars included) having a uniform thickness of 'very', reminds me of the posters on the walls of elementary school classrooms.

Take a look at this. The green line is hypothetically where the baseline should be, but the E and D descend slightly below it. According to my font wizard this is fairly common as an attempt to some sort of visual trick, but I don't like it. I can make it out from a distance and it significantly bothers me.

Speaking of misaligned, I've always felt like the vertical line on the E was slightly wider than that on the D, but had dismissed this line of thought as an optical illusion - the darker color and the lack of detail at the top, plus the lack of gaps at any point in the E, artificially make the D look narrower than it is. I tried lining them up, and I was right, it's an optical illusion. I still hate it. What isn't an optical illusion is that the middle line on the E is thicker than the second line on the F - again, hate it!

And I just don't like this font! It's like if they fed different fonts to a neutral network and had it invent a weight bolder than bold, like the neural-network generated upperer and lowerer cases. I'm aware of the existence of ultra bold weights, and I'm not talking about those, because those are regular ugly and clearly made by humans. This looks like an algorithm expanded the letters until they were touching.

But the touching bit is intentional. The FedEx logo is hiding a little secret, perhaps the most frequently cited reason for why it's so beloved. Between the E and X, Leader slipped in an inconspicuous arrow.

And I can't pretend this isn't really clever. It's subtle but once you see it you can never unsee it. My problem is that one feature doesn't make something good on its own, particularly when it's something you can easily miss at first. The Sneeze interview linked earlier sort of implies Leader built the font in large part around the idea of the arrow, and I find that a little problematic. Sometimes an idea is so fantastic you just can't let go of it, but when you're designing something you just can't be myopic like that. And, to be clear, I don't think Leader sacrificed the aesthetics of the wordmark to accommodate the arrow. I'm sure he personally thinks this font is beautiful. But when I evaluate it for myself, I can't allow one good feature to overpower my own dislike for the font overall, even if it is legitimately clever.

I do have some nice things to say, though. Well, mostly one nice thing. I love the color scheme. I think the purple and orange shades here are a wonderful choice, an uncommon one but one that manages to be a visually pleasing combination. If either of the shades were less saturated, or the purple were brighter, it would lose its cohesion, but Leader chose the perfect shades to bring out the best in each other. The old red and purple shades were absolutely hideous, but he transformed them into something great.

But at the end of the day my opinion of the logo on a granular scale is irrelevant. And I don't say that because I'm in the minority here or because I'm not allowed to have an opinion or anything else of the like. It doesn't matter because the FedEx logo is older than me and it is FedEx. When I see something purple and orange, I think of FedEx first. Let me use an example by invoking something better left dead.

In 2018 the Overwatch League, an esports league based around the maelstrom of poor decisions which is Blizzard's video 'game' Overwatch, played its first season. A charter member was the Florida Mayhem, a team which was in all honesty sort of a joke (though not exciting enough to live up to their name). I stopped following OWL after the first season, so I'm not sure if any of this has changed, but they finished second-to-last, made some very questionable choices on the management end, and were representing Florida. All of these facts are ontologically comedic. But above all, these were their team colors.

So, this creates the clear issue demonstrated above. Certain brands are so culturally entrenched that even a passing similarity in visual identity makes you immediately look like a pastiche, even if you're otherwise distinct. Mayhem's branding is, in my opinion, way better than McDonalds's, but it was still the right move when they changed to a completely unrecognizable color scheme in 2020. You just see some things and immediately recognize them.

The cultural specter of the FedEx logo is very useful to the FedEx livery. As long as you do not royally mess up - which they have not - a FedEx plane will immediately resemble a FedEx package, even if it doesn't actually look like one, since they're mostly white.

...well, okay, the planes are also mostly white. And I'll be honest, on the 727? This plane isn't half bad. The clean line of the t-tail makes this sort of straight-line-down livery look so much better, and the placement of the wordmark in front of the heavily swept wings keeps the white tube from looking quite so much like a white tube.

But the 727 isn't the only airframe they fly. They're the largest operator of six separate types, most of which are fully retired from passenger service, including the MD-11. Their MD-11s are literally the only trijets you'll see around in the US these days - they only started retiring their DC-10s in 2021, nearly ten years after they flew their last passenger flight. They're pretty unusual among large cargo airlines in that they flew the 747 for just over five years, and not particularly on their own initiative, having acquired a few from a merger with the Flying Tiger Line. So the way the livery looks on the 727 doesn't tell the whole story.

Okay. So that...is a couple of white tubes. That's somewhat unfortunate.

I want to clarify that, while this style of livery has become increasingly popular over time, culminating in its codification as an outright trend in the late 2010s and early 2020s, FedEx adopted this livery in 1994. It is wrong to say that the FedEx livery resembles TAM, Lufthansa, or Icelandair, and more correct to say that all of the above carriers are wearing a style similar to FedEx (though Qantas and MALÉV came first). Despite the fact that I've been known to call these 'Lufthansesque', Lufthansa didn't invent this style and didn't do it best. Still, doing it earlier doesn't excuse it.

FedEx in particular suffers from the rear-heaviness issue. Though they have a larger logo which balances it out better than some (Lufthansa), it's kind of countered by the fact that FedEx exclusively operates planes I'd consider on the long and thin side. It makes the white look all the more dominant on the airframe.

FedEx does take one measure to mitigate this - the undersides are painted grey (in a style I've been calling 'Deltalike' to myself even though Delta absolutely did not do it first) instead of being the same white as the rest of the fuselage with the purple fully wrapping around. Also, they have the line remain straight on the third engine of trijets, instead of committing to one shade or the other, as older trijet liveries frequently did.

Compared to an ASL Airlines lease which keeps the underside white and the purple as a contiguous loop, this creates a much more streamlined look. But it's not enough to save this.

And I think what bothers me the most is how at odds this is with the thing people say is so brilliant about the logo - the arrow.

Arrows are, as Leader pointed out in his interview, definitely not a new phenomenon in airline liveries. Hell, we even had Arrow Air.

But there's a reason for that. Arrows represent forward movement. They're fundamentally indicative of speed, efficiency, and polish. And airplanes are more or less shaped like arrows, when you think about it.

Something being done very frequently doesn't make it somehow creatively bereft. And it's not like only painting the tail and the big of fuselage directly below it is reinventing the wheel either.

Cheatlines, and hockey sticks especially, were not a particularly new thing when my perennial example of 'boring idea, good execution', Kalitta Air, rolled out in the 1980s. In fact, they were done to death. But Kalitta Air's choice in color and shape, use of proportions, and stylish logo set it apart from every other airline to use this style.

There is a reason arrows are so common. They are speed and precision and kinetic energy. When you refuse to consider making something common your own, you often shoot yourself in the foot. With the logo constructed, with the motto 'the world on time' written on the nose of each plane, absolutely nobody would turn up their nose at FedEx having an arrow motif on its livery.

Ultimately, I'm a bit sad, because the FedEx logo, while I don't like a lot of the choices made in regards to the font, would provide a truly fantastic jumping off point for a livery that would elevate it beyond the point anyone could ever dismiss it as being part of a crowd of very similar designs, the way I have by lumping it in with Lufthansesques. Arrows, being a fundamentally long and tall shape, would also avoid the pitfalls of a livery type which I have already on multiple occasions critiqued for inherently creating a look of rear-heaviness, particularly on longer and thinner airframes, especially when the color used is a dark shade to contrast a white base.

That said, the FedEx livery gets a bit of a free pass where something like Lufthansa doesn't. FedEx's logo is so ubiquitous that unless you actively interfere with or muddle it, any plane bearing it will immediately be recognizable as a FedEx plane the same way a truck or package is. As a branding exercise it is certainly successful. It looks clean, it's by no means exceptionally ugly, it does its job...but it is so rich with potential and so impoverished in execution. Doesn't it just look like this plane isn't taking off, but being pulled by the weight of its purple slice towards the ground?

I'm giving FedEx a D+.

I don't feel good about doing this. I think this is an opinion which is not only contentious but downright unpopular. But as I've mentioned a few times my grades take into account more than just broad aesthetic appeal. Branding and environment factor in, but what also factors in is, as I said in discussing Saudia, wasted potential and a refusal to capitalize on what you have that's clearly good. When I graded Air Astra down for not reaching its potential I meant it as a kind gesture, not even a sort of tough love but an acknowledgment that I like what they have and I know they'll do better.

FedEx, however, is just disappointing. For the frequently cited best logo of all time, this is just unacceptable. This verdict brings me no joy, but the fact that this logo is so beloved doesn't mean I can go easy on it - to the contrary, it had a lot to live up to, and it just didn't.

[lestappenforever]

you mentioned in an earlier ask that you were disappointed with charles' mentality. do you think he has the mentality to become a wdc at some point?

I absolutely do think he has the mentality to become a WDC at some point. In fact, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that he does because Charles has one of the most impressive mentalities out there.

Let me clarify that when I answered the ask you're referring to, my mind was still reeling from the race. I'm usually rather calm and collected during and after races, but I'm also someone who relies heavily on getting the sleep I'm used to getting. (I'm usually in bed and asleep by 21:00 most days because my soul is actually 92, while my body is 29.) I slept awful this entire past weekend and not nearly enough, and waking up for such an early qualifying and race did impact my emotional state quite a bit. And, well, answering asks in that state is not always the best idea.

So when I said I was disappointed in Charles' mentality, which I was at the time and I stand by that because that's how I felt in that moment, it was mostly due to the team order he was being given and obeyed to hold his position and not fight Carlos. @thearchercore answered an ask of mine last night where she said "the binotto era left this insane ptsd in all charles fans to the point we are questioning all team orders (we have to admit 2023 had some odd ones, too) so it will take time to regain confidence in them." And that's exactly it.

I know quite a lot of new F1 fans weren't around during the Binotto era and therefore don't have that same PTSD (I envy each and every one of you, by the way), but those of us who were there and watched it as it was happening? I'm honestly not sure I'll ever fully regain confidence in Ferrari, and not just because of the Binotto era.

There is a reason Ferrari hasn't won anything in 15 years. Historically, their strategies and decisions haven't exactly been the best since the end of Michael Schumacher's incredible reign of domination in the early 2000's. When I started watching F1, Ferrari and Michael were in a league above everyone else. They were the shit, the team to beat, the duo nobody else could really measure up to. But, after Michael's final title in 2004, they've won 3 titles: two constructors championships (2007 and 2008), and one driver's championship (2007). And the Ferrari I got into F1 knowing, fearing and admiring hasn't really been around since.

The Binotto era was honestly just the very horrible cherry on top for me, and I will gladly admit that I am probably quite negatively biased towards Ferrari because of all this. Which isn't exactly ideal when one of your favorite drivers is driving for them and does have what it takes to become a WDC. Like I said, I'm not sure I'll ever regain full confidence in the team after so many years of them being, well, Ferrari, and especially the Binotto era. This will lead to me questioning team orders and strategy calls more than I probably should, especially immediately after a race. I really hope that this will change in time, and I'm cautiously optimistic Fred can be the one to help turn some of that around. But after so many years, it's going to take some time and consistency from the team as a whole.

But I digress:

Prior to Charles, only one of my absolute favorite drivers have ever driven for Ferrari, and that was Kimi Räikkönen, coincidentally the last Ferrari WDC. So I haven't really been as invested in Ferrari's and their drivers' success until Charles joined the team, as I'm a 'driver-over-teams' kind of person. And unlike Charles (and Max), Kimi was never "predestined" or "inevitable", or anything of the sort. Kimi's WDC caught me and a lot of others completely off-guard, if I'm being completely honest. He definitely didn't have the same impressive mentality that for example Charles (and Max) have. Hell, the guy was notorious for really treating F1 like his side hustle; retiring and coming back, almost bankrupting Lotus while he drove for them by scoring too many points, and flat-out saying: "It's more like a hobby for me, so I don't have to do it if I don't want to." I could talk about Kimi forever, but I'm not going to because that's not the topic of this ask.

But, an aspect of Kimi's mentality that did appeal to me, that three-time WDC Sebastian Vettel (who I was always fond of, but who was never one of my absolute favorites) also had, was that they both went against team orders time and time again because they didn't agree with it being the best for them. And that's what I mean whenever I mention wanting Charles to be more selfish.

However, F1 today is different to what it was in the 2000's and the 2010's. Ferrari is different to what it was in the 2000's and the 2010's, and Charles is part of a whole new generation of drivers. And I think something that newer fans are a bit better at than "old-timers" like myself, is not letting your thoughts and reactions be as clouded by history.

It's easy to briefly forget that, no matter how long you've watched F1 or how much research you have done, at the end of the day, none of us have any idea of what's going on inside any driver's heads, including Charles'. We can speculate and analyze and assume until the end of time, but not a single one of us will know for sure why he makes the decisions he makes. Why he chooses to follow some team orders and disobey others. But what we can know for sure, no matter what, is that Charles is a highly intelligent and calculated driver. Every decision he makes has been analyzed extensively in his head. Sometimes he makes decisions that don't pan out the way he had thought or hoped, like all humans, but I am absolutely certain that each decision he makes is made with his own future best interest in mind. And that is what gives him that WDC mentality.

Sometimes, we'll disagree with the decisions he makes. We'll be upset and scratch our heads trying to understand, which is fine. And we can draw our own conclusions as to the why's and the what's and the how's. It's part of the sport, and you can and absolutely should sometimes disagree with, disapprove of or question things, even if it's your favorite driver and/or team.

After the race on Sunday, I was disappointed with his mentality for listening to yet another team order that prioritized his teammate. And that's a valid emotion to have. But now, when my emotions have stopped running high from lack of sleep, the horrid memories of the Binotto era, the questionable team orders from last season, and Ferrari's less-than-stellar track record of making decisions over the past 15 years, I'm able to look back and understand that, yeah, he made a calculated decision and followed the team orders because that's what he thought was best. And I am in no way, shape or form going to pretend or act like I'm smarter than him or that I know what's best for him because I have no fucking idea. None of us do.

I pride myself on being able to admit when my emotions have gotten the better of me, which was the case this weekend. I also pride myself on being able to look back at something I thought or felt at one point, and realizing and admitting that I wasn't being entirely logical, which I'm doing now.

I will contine to believe that Charles could benefit from taking a page out of Kimi's and Seb's book, and telling his team to fuck off a bit more often than he has done. But I will also admit that it's mostly because of my own desperate desire to see him suceed; to see him realize the potential the entire world of F1 has seen for so many years, and achieve his dream of winning a WDC with Ferrari.

As an F1 fan, I have the luxury of being impatient for his success, which is a luxury he as an F1 driver does not have. F1 drivers carry the curse of having to be patient, to bide their time and make just the correct amount of decisions at just the right time, while F1 fans bask in the luxury of wanting our favorite drivers to succeed now.

[cringecompanionapologist]

Top 5 Worst Days for Turlough

Okay maybe I'm as bored as I implied in the last post but this isn't a top five you're gonna find anywhere else.

Basically, here are five stories where very bad things happen to Turlough from least bad to most bad. Obviously, these are my perceptions and other people might not be put this in the same order. Also, I haven't seen everything, so I might miss something big and just not know.

Also, this turned out really fucking long because I just had to rant about number 1.

Number 5: Loups-Garoux (Big Finish Audio from 2001, written by Marc Platt)

I'm only putting this one at the bottom because Loups-Garoux is mostly a comedic story and Turlough seems to recover fine. He sees a vision of his dark side so terrifying he jumps out of a moving train and gets eaten by a werewolf, who spits him out because he has silver on him. Unlike in many of these examples, the Doctor seems a bit upset about this. But, this almost feels like business as usual.

Number 4: Trap for Fools (Big Finish Short Trip from 2018, written by Stephen Fewell)

Okay, this one might be a bit of a me thing. I can get a bit overly sensitive about the subject of mean teachers. In order to find and defeat the Monster of the Week, the Doctor has Turlough go undercover as a student at Space Brendon, basically. The Doctor seems completely oblivious to Turlough's misery and doesn't do much to help him through reliving experiences he was willing to kill to escape. This is another one that's mostly played for laughs, with most of the Horrors Turlough faces being mild bullying and a teacher pronouncing his name wrong on purpose to be a dick, but Turlough is actually intimidated by the mean teacher and mentally categorizes the other students by how much of a threat they might be and is just generally miserable the entire time.

Really, there's one bit that made me decide that this belonged on the list because it's really sad:

Someone please hug him.

Number 3: The Velvet Dark (Short Trip: Farewells from 2006, written by Stewart Sheargold)

The Master shoots Turlough with the TCE, making the Doctor think he'd just casually murdered him, only to reveal that he shrunk Turlough without killing him to make him a more manageable hostage. The Master places him in a box and shakes the box around when the Doctor hesitates in cooperating with him.

This story starts with the Master faking his death and the Doctor, Tegan, and Turlough attending his funeral. Tegan doesn't get why the Doctor is sad that the guy who killed her aunt is dead now. Turlough also doesn't get it, but he doesn't have as much of a personal reason to hate the Master, so he tries to be patient and Tegan seems kind of jealous that the Doctor listens to him more than her.

After being returned to his proper size, Turlough hates the Master just as much as Tegan does. The Doctor, apparently unable to truly hate the Master, kind of treats them both like the bad guys in this.

Number 2: Frontios (TV Serial from 1984, written by Christopher H. Bidmead)

An actual TV story! Tractators. Trion, at some point in the planet's history, was attacked by this story's Monster of the Week and now all Trions, regardless of when they were born, remember the Tractators on some level. It's never explained how this actually works, but Turlough personally had probably never heard of the Tractators until he saw a tunnel and a massacre just showed up in his brain. The Doctor awkwardly hands him off to the one-shots to go explore the tunnels, not knowing what to do about all this emotional stuff.

You'll notice that the Doctor's response to whatever happens to Turlough is a major factor in how I rank these.

Anyway...

Number 1: The King of Terror (Past Doctor Adventure novel from 2000, written by Keith Topping)

It isn't even close. The novels of the Wilderness Years (1990-2004) were aimed at an adult audience and there were very few limits on what sort of situations the Doctor and his companions could end up in. So, sometimes, shit got dark. I usually tend to find these morbidly funny, because saying things like "The Doctor and Dodo meet the Marquis de Sade" and "Doctor Who's Cannibal Holocaust" is fun. It just is. Shut up.

These books vary in quality. Some actually do interesting things with their darker subject matter while others are just sort of edgy for the sake of it. The King of Terror is in the latter category and is annoying as hell about it. I could go into way more detail about every stupid thing that happens in this book, but the Turlough stuff is the most interesting stupid thing, because of how fucked up it is.

So, Turlough, feeling a bit OOC on a trip to Los Angeles in 1999, goes to a bar, gets completely wasted, and chats up local girls trying to get laid. Then one woman stands out as hypnotically sexy, introduces herself as Eva, and invites Turlough back to her place to have sex. Turlough is too drunk to notice that this is moving a bit fast.

Anyway, Eva is actually a member of an alien species called the Jex who are trying to take over the world. They want to terraform Earth to be more like their homeworld, which has a hotter, thicker atmosphere, but their human slaves wouldn't be able to do hard labor in those conditions, so they want to genetically modify the humans to have higher heat resistance, among other things. There's something wrong with Jex DNA, so they need the DNA of some other alien with higher heat resistance.

The CIA, wanting to see where this is all going, tipped the Jex off that some aliens had just showed up in LA and Eva went out to kidnap one. Turlough then spends like half the book being experimented on to both confirm that he's an alien and that he's the right type of alien.

It's a lot of torture. I'm not even going to say any of what happens. Here's one screenshot of Turlough reflecting on all the torture happening to him that is vague but sums up why I'm not going to elaborate:

(Note: There actually is a reference to something specific in here and I apologize in advance)

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Tegan find out that Turlough's missing. Tegan seems to think that they should do something about this, while the Doctor comments jokingly on how often Turlough gets captured. He eventually gives Tegan the day off to take her mind of things, leading to a really stupid romance subplot, while he does absolutely nothing to find Turlough.

Turlough eventually very brutally murders Eva in an understandable lapse of sanity and escapes. The Doctor isn't even there when he gets back and they reunite "offscreen". From that point on, the whole subplot is basically dropped. The Doctor asks Turlough if he's okay, he lies and says he is, the Doctor knows it's a lie, but he's glad for a chance to act like it never happened.

So, it really sucks to be Turlough and I'm now exhausted.

[ohc-and-the-music-tapes-archive]

Archived blog post by Optical Atlas about "2nd Imaginary Symphony for Cloudmaking" and hand drawn Music Tapes t-shirts

[copy below, in case link would not work]

In 2002 Julian Koster of the Music Tapes notified those on E6 Townhall that he was going to begin selling CD-R copies of his upcoming albumThe 2nd Imaginary Symphony for Cloudmaking. A little while later he came through with a first shipment, and fans received a CD-R with a strand of Julian's hair just hanging out from under a label depicting crayon-colored clouds. Because of a long delay in shipping the orders, he sent a hand-drawn "Friends of the Music Tapes" tee-shirt with each package. Julian also mentioned that he had so much fun sending out these packages that he was considering self-releasing the album instead of sending it out via Merge Records. He told us that what we had was a rough mix, and was already becoming more layered and complex as he worked on it.

My wife and I sat down to listen to the 2nd Imaginary Symphony on September 11, 2002, finally turning off the television after endless retrospectives that featured the same footage of planes crashing into the towers. The album begins with a little bit of singing saw, and a narrator--not Julian, but the sort who might narrate one of those old Walt Disney storybook records for children--tells us the story of a young boy named Nigh who follows a mysterious older friend to a factory that produces the clouds of the sky. Apart from the saw (which succumbs to a lovely crescendo in the finale), there's no singing, and no songs. But it's quintessential Music Tapes.

A little while after that we received a second package, a second CD-R, and two more tee shirts. Apparently Julian lost his first shipment list, found our letter, and send one tee shirt for my wife and myself, thinking we hadn't received the first one. I gave the CD-R to my brother-in-law as a birthday gift; I don't believe he ever listened to it. The tee shirts we haven't worn, and they're a bit wrinkled in these photos because for a couple years they've been tucked into a dresser. Now they're hanging up, and I'll have to iron them and take one out on the town when the weather gets warmer. It's almost four years since Julian sent the CD-Rs out, but last August Julian recently posted at the Townhall to reassure us that more Music Tapes material is coming, including the official release of the 2nd Imaginary Symphony. He wrote: "Hello, hello! Goodmornings, afternoons, and evenings to you all! I just wanted to share with you all that the song album is being mastered in early September, and has in fact left the womb, and though I love it very much It is now time to let it go lead its own life. The final version of the story record has already been mastered, and is worth waiting for (rather than seeking out the early versions i promise). There will not be any word on release dates untill early fall, so I'm afraid there IS still a wait before you, but much shorter than those you've grown use to." In the meantime, I know some have been curious to see what the shirts* looked like, so here are some photos. The most elaborate shirt features the following text (all grammar and spellings are "sic"):

"Late August, corner of W. 80th St. and Amsterdam Avenue in New York City. 2000 and two. And old woman in a rain slicker is loading most of her belongings into a trunk on the street. Her belly is full of Hominy Grits. She learned the recipie from her Grandmother as a little girl. She still remembers drawing pictures with her bare Fingers in the Steam clouded windows accross from the stove. She still remembers fealing warm and Safe. How her grandfather could make a spoon float several feet in the air above her, without even lifting a finger. He seldome Spoke, and never Smiled. This parlor trick was the Sole means of Communication between them. I hope she doesn't mind me writing all of this down. She does Not know me, nor I, her. I am familliar only with the warmth that traveled A million human miles and took the care to visit her image upon me for even the briefest of Moments. She will load her trunk intoo the Caboose of a Great passenger train. She will fall in love with a man her own age. Together they will invent a methode of playing the piano that allows for the Storage and Compartmentalization of time. In this way they will begin the Capturing and preservation of indevidual moments. They will build themselves a Workshop in a functioning German Clock tower. They will begin with the preservation of random moments, and eventualy find themselves drawn mostly to moments of sentimentality. The Old Woman sits and blows on her fingers. It's winter. Her hands are cold. She Plays a moment from her childhood. A windy day, the Sun filters through the clouds. It's 1920. There is a great wind, and the mustache of a distinguished gentleman is blown clear off his face. The moustache, a trimmed handlebar, takes flight, Flapping through the air in a birdlike fashion. It is soon joined by the moustaches of Several other men. The wind blows and blows. The moustaches, now numbering in the thousands, migrate Southward for the winter. The old woman stops playing. The Old man walks over to her and Smiles. They love each other dearly. In time they will run out of moments of their own sentimentality to distill and preserve. And so they will begin to detail yours. At 1st you will apear to them in dreams. Only when you wear this Shirt. They will coment on their common dreams, and begin to compare notes. In their dreams they will always try to read this Shirt. They will never succede. My Writing is too small and illegeible. My spelling to difficult to decode. They will grow fond of you, and look forwards always to the next time you put on the Shirt. They will share with you your moments of sentimentality. Play them over and over again on their Piano. In time you will come to feal them....and Never again will you feal alone."

*On the subject of Elephant 6 shirts: lou2ser wants your E6 tee-shirt photos for his flickr archive. His shirts are less wrinkly than mine.

[rigelmejo]

Some updates 9/4/2024:

I am through 2723 sentences in glossika japanese, which is still A1 (in the app). In reality I think the A1-B2 categories glossika is using must not match the actual kind of level's vocab or grammar. I predict A2 will go to arond the 5000 sentences mark, and the last 1000-2000 sentences in the glossika japanese collection will be randomly categorized B level. Supposedly glossika japanese teaches 5000 unique words, I hope that's true by the end. So far the A1 sentences Ive gone through (2700s lol) have a lot of words just used multiple ways or in multiple conjugations, and if iku counts as like 10+ words just for each conjugation... that could mean significantly less unique words are actually taught. If glossika japanese doesnt at least teach over 3000 unique words (and all verbs etc counted as 1 word each even if various forms are in sentences), then its gonna be beyond a disappointment. Its fairly doable to find free japanese learning resources that teach around 2000-3000 words. The reason Im slogging through glossika is because it gives the promise of potentially MORE WORDS TO LEARN than the free stuff i could find. Like... japaneseaudiolessons.com, a free site with great lessons, teaches at least 2000 words (i calculated it once ;-; if needed ill go figure it out again) if the grammar notes are included. So if glossika turns out barely more than that, ill be pretty fucking beyond annoyed.

In other news, japanese progress? Ahahahhaa

Well really. I've mostly just been focusing on writing stuff lately, so I haven't studied much. But I've noticed some things in passing I find kind of fun?

I can now translate (roughly) 70% of the lyrics of the Yakuza games karaoke songs in passing as a friend plays them. I can also translate (roughly) about 50% of what people are saying in-game. I assume this means if I tried to play Ishin in japanese again, this time I might feel less drained than the first time I tried. (The first time I tried, I understood enough to play the game and roughly guess what was going on, but it took a ton of focus and I felt burned out quick).

Chinese progress? Im in a weird holding pattern where I just dont have time in my schedule to dedicate enough to it to make good progress for a while. I definitely refreshed my memory over the summer, and I can listen to audiobooks now! Which is a huge personal goal I had. But the comprehension of audiobook plots goes between "can follow almost all details" to "roughly can guess where the scene is and actions taken and understood some key dialogue details". Even if I relisten to the same chapter of an audiobook just on different weeks. My comprehension of audio details varies WILDLY right now. Im not sure if its because my vocab recognition is just rusty until used, then rusty again quickly after a break (aka i recall meaning slower than the audio plays). Or if its because listening is just hard. Since i am comprehending something when i listen, ive just chosen to keep listening to audiobooks. I do think a good round of REVIEWING vocabulary (like relistening to chinese spoonfed anki audio files) would help. Or just listening to an audiobook for HOURS a day would probably help. But again, im focusing on writing lately so i just havent carved out dedicated time for chinese listening that id like to be doing eventually.

Reading chinese goes a bit differently. I am rusty with reading too, but it comes back within a few dozen minutes. My recognition of hanzi is sort of like "rusty when not recalled" but once im reading for a few minutes it goes back to an easy to flip to part of my brain and stuff i already know. When trying to read japanese in any context, my brain still jumps right to hanzi chinese pronunciations before i can recall any japanese words. When i see a chinese webpage or subtitles im lost for a little while, then things click and its about as easy as it was last time i was reading a lot. I seem to remember how to read chinese fairly well, and rustiness wears off and goes back to Quick Reading comprehension (which quick for me is still like 150 characters per minute but u get the idea) fairly quickly. Its even a little better than my french reading skill... which does degrade a little over time, and i compensate with cognates usually until ive read for a few hours and the french reading skill returns. Whereas my chinese reading skill seems to come back within an hour usually of trying to read.

[dankusner]

Quentin Crisp + Boy George

PRAISE FOR TAKE IT LIKE AMAN

Whatever I think of Boy George, I have to praise this book for its candour. … A definitive portrait of a modern young pop star." — Quentin Crisp

I don’t believe in turning the other cheek. I think you should always carry a brick in your handbag, and you should always respond. [Quentin Crisp] really had a lot of negative things to say about being gay, but I think it's a fabulous thing to be.” 

Queen George's return

Legendary queer pop star performs in Dallas for first time in 9 years 

By DANIEL KUSNER | Oct.13, 2000     

The last time Boy George performed in Dallas, he ignited a frenzy of chaos. 

In 1991, the androgynous pop music legend was booked for a solo performance at the Village Station. 

"We went out onstage, and the sound system was making these really weird noises. We tried everything to do the show. In the end I said, 'Okay, let's just do an acoustic show. Let's just see if we can get one guitar and one vocal mic to work,'" he recalls. 

According to the flamboyant superstar, even those efforts failed. 

When patience wore too thin, his rambunctious audience took matters into their own hands and began hurling objects at the stage. 

"It was really hideous. I managed to get out of the club. But my tour manager got punched in the face and somebody pulled a gun on him. And I was in the back of this truck, lying on the floor crying, 'Get us out of here!'" he remembers with laughter. 

Boy George returned to Dallas in ’95 for a book tour at Crossroads Market Bookstore & Cafe. 

There, he was served with papers for a lawsuit filed by Village Station alleging breach of contract over the incident. 

The suit was later settled. 

But the glamorous entertainer insists that these events haven't left him with a bad impression of Dallas. 

Instead, he hopes his performance on Monday will help rectify the past. 

"It's just one of those things that happens. It was disappointing that we had a full house and people were really up for it. But I felt that I let them down," he says. 

"But this time, everything will be fine — I hope.” 

When it comes to disaster, Boy George is no tragic figure. 

Over the past two decades, the 39-year-old has seen his fair share of personal crises, including a highly publicized bout with drug addiction and an ironic brush with death when he was almost crushed by a giant disco ball. 

"Yes, there have been moments of tragedy in my life and career, but I don't wallow in it. I'm very optimistic, and I try to pick up where things have gone wrong and move on," he says. 

"The longer you are in this kind of business, you have to be kind of self-deprecating. You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and laugh at the situations you find yourself in.” 

He's even able to see the lighter side concerning his reaction to Elton John's comments about queer-baiting rapper Eminem being "the most important voice since Bob Dylan.” 

"I was DJing at a party last week, and Elton's boyfriend was there. He came up and cheekily asked me if I would play some Eminem," he laughs. "On the one hand any sort of comment that I make just sort of fuels the fire and makes [Eminem] sell more records. I'm not opposed to him being successful. It doesn't make any difference in my life whatsoever. But I feel uncomfortable with anybody who is having a go at gay people. But I guess it's a reflection of Eminem's own sexual paranoia.” 

Although Boy George insists he doesn't hinge his identity completely on his sexuality, he recently made an impressive television appearance to debate and condemn Section 28, a British law that says local authorities shall not "promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.” 

"For instance, if a young kid has been beaten up because he's effeminate or because he's gay, teachers have their hands tied and they can't discuss it unless they have permission from the parents or from the local governing body," he explains. 

With his reputation for quick, saucy retorts, many would expect Boy George to take a bitchy and sarcastic approach in such a debate. 

Instead, he was praised for keeping cool and seriously discussing the matter at hand. 

Perhaps it was this appearance that landed him a guest spot on Politically Incorrect, which he'll be taping sometime during the month of October. 

"I tried to deal with it in an intelligent way. I told [Section 28 supporter and business tycoon Brian Souter] that gay people have extended families, jobs and lives beyond what they do in bed. And if he's saying that teachers shouldn't be able to tell kids about homosexuality, then you have to follow that by saying that people like me shouldn't have access to my nephews and nieces. My brothers and sisters have children. They know that I'm gay. They know that I have a lover. So the question I put to him was should we also be removed from their lives because maybe we'll have an influence in that respect.” 

Although Boy George adored the late Quentin Crisp, don't place the two in the same queer Englishmen category. 

"I thought he was really brilliant and [an] important gay icon, but he did say that mothers should be able to abort their gay children. So there are massive contradictions in my appreciation of him," Boy George says.

"He wasn't a fighter. He was a defeatist, and he didn't defend himself. I don't believe in turning the other cheek. I think you should always carry a brick in your handbag, and you should always respond. He really had a lot of negative things to say about being gay, but I think it's a fabulous thing to be.” 

“My position? On all fours with my legs up in the air!” 

’91 concert appearance nets suit against entertainer Boy George 

Caven alleges singer broke contract by terminating concert early; Boy George blames problems on venue 

Boy George strikes a pose as he signs books for adoring fans. 

By John McCoy | Oct.  6, 1995

Pop entertainer Boy George was slapped with a lawsuit at the conclusion of a personal appearance Wednesday evening at Crossroads Market, the latest step in a long-simmering dispute between the colorful performer and a local gay and lesbian nightclub. 

Boy George, whose legal name is George Alan O’Dowd, was targeted by a lawsuit filed Wednesday in a Dallas County district court by Caven Enterprises and Village Station. 

The lawsuit stems from an incident which occurred during Boy George’s concert at Village Station on November 30, 1991 

According to court papers, Caven Enterprises alleges that Boy George breached his contractual obligations by storming offstage after performing only two songs, although the singer had promised to perform a single set lasting at least 60 minutes. 

The lawsuit also alleges that the performer damaged Caven’s reputation by making derogatory remarks about the company and venue, and urging customers who had purchased tickets to the concert to demand refunds. 

Mike Aronson, an attorney representing Caven Enterprises, said the company voluntarily refunded ticket-holders’ money following the interrupted concert. 

The company also paid Boy George a fee of $7,000 for his appearance, Aronson said. 

Caven Enterprises president Jack Polachek said the performer “was paid to do a gig” but stormed offstage after only a few minutes. 

“Before we could reason with him, he was out the door,” Polachek added.

The lawsuit, filed in the 193rd District Court, seeks unspecified dam- ages including the actual costs Caven incurred in hosting the concert along with “consequential damages” the firm said it suffered when the concert crowd became unruly after Boy George left the stage. 

The lawsuit also seeks exemplary damages, attorneys’ fees and court costs. 

Caven attorneys filed the lawsuit in anticipation of Boy George’s highly-publicized appearance Wednesday evening at Crossroads Market, where he greeted fans and signed copies of his new book, Take It Like A Man. 

The sizeable crowd which formed a line twisting outside the store and down an adjacent sidewalk apparendy was unaware that one of its members was a civil process server prepared to deliver notice of the lawsuit to Boy George. 

The server, Peter Armstrong, was waiting in line posing as a fan. 

But Crossroads Market owner Joseph Ramunni had received advance word of the lawsuit and convinced Armstrong to delay serving the court papers until the conclusion of Boy George’s appearance. 

Although Boy George left the papers on a table in the store when he departed, Armstrong said he had effected “legal service” of the documents and said Boy George was legally obligated to file a response with the court by Oct. 30. 

Apparently unfazed by the unusual proceedings, Boy George stopped to chat with store management and perused a few CDs on his way out of Crossroads Market. 

Asked for his position on the lawsuit, the performer snapped, “My position? On all fours with my legs up in the air!” 

The performer said he had no plans to file an official answer to the lawsuit. 

“If anything, they’ll have to sue the promoters,” he added. 

Asked for further comment, Boy George paused to dispute the allegations. “Look, when we came to Dallas before, the sound system was not up to spec,” he said, alleging that Caven Enterprises failed to meet the terms of the performance contract. 

The sound system is the focus of the dispute, and was the singer’s stated reason for ending the concert early. 

Polachek acknowledged that a problem had developed “between our sound people and their sound people” in the days prior to the concert. 

According to Polachek, Boy George’s technical assistants insisted that the system be wired in a way that was incompatible with the venue’s existing sound facilities. 

Aronson denied that the sound system at Village Station was below contract specifications. 

“That’s untrue, but I’ll be perfectly willing to litigate with him and let a judge decide,” Aronson said. 

Court documents indicate that Caven Enterprises purchased additional sound equipment specifically for the performance. 

Crossroads Market staff members and management appeared angry that the papers were served at the store’s highly-publicized and well-attended event. 

Polachek said once the lawsuit was filed, the timing of the delivery was beyond his control. 

But a document filed by Aronson indicated that the papers could be served at Crossroads Market, where Boy George was sched- uled to make a single appearance beginning at 6 p.m. Wednesday. 

“I wouldn’t want his book-signing to be overshadowed by the fact that he was served papers,” Polachek remarked. 

But legal matters were the last thing on the minds of the scores of fans that had gathered to greet the eccentric performer. 

A small group of women, each of whom purchased multiple copies of the autobiography, wore T-shirts emblazoned with the message, “Take It Like A ran,” in honor of his new book. 

And one devotee was so overcome with emotion that he wept and visibly shook as he greeted the entertainer. 

“I’ve waited so long to meet you,” he said. 

Afterward, as a driver prepared to whisk the star away, Boy George shouted to a reporter from his limousine window, “Print that they [Caven officials] spoiled a very nice day.” 

Boy George sparks melee in Dallas 

Upset with arrangements, faded '80s star walks off stage after second song at Village Station concert 

"Boy" George O’Dowd promised to perform “a whole lot of new stuff that’s never been recorded” when he came to Dallas last weekend for a concert at the Village Station. 

What O’Dowd delivered instead, according to many observers, was a dose of attitude, about two and a half songs and a near-riot. 

O’Dowd stopped in the middle of his second song and walked off stage, refusing to continue the concert. 

The capacity crowd then began throwing beer bottles and rushing the stage, according to witnesses. 

Several people were hit by bottles, and at least one person was taken by ambulance to the hospital, witnesses said. 

Keith Kuykendall of Caven Enterprises, Inc., the company which booked the concert at its flagship nightclub, Village Station, called the situation “absolute chaos” and described O’Dowd as “a prima donna.” 

Michael Scott of Europa Tours, the booking agent for O’Dowd’s American tour, said this week that “What happened in Dallas is a disgrace,” and added that the entire tour “has been, all in all, a nightmare. I’ve been in the business for 15 years, and this is the toughest tour I’ve ever done.” 

Kuykendall said Tuesday that refunds were given Saturday night to everyone who attended the concert, and that attorneys for Caven Enterprises are in the process of filing a lawsuit against Europa Tours. 

“We signed a contract with Europa Tours, and they are the ones who have the contract with Boy George. It’s going to be a friendly lawsuit, where we sue them and they in turn sue him [O’Dowd]. Our attorneys and their attorneys are working to structure the lawsuit so that it will work for both parties,” Kuykendall said. 

Scott agreed that attorneys for Europa and Caven “are talking now about how this will be handled," but suggested that a settlement could be reached without any lawsuits. 

“Caven signed a contract with me, but that contract says they can’t hold me liable. We’re talking it out, and when it’s all said and done, I think calmer heads will prevail,” Scott said. 

Trouble started early on in the negotiations to bring O’Dowd to Dallas, Kuykendall remarked. 

“It has been a nightmare trying to produce this concert.” 

Contracts were signed “a month prior” to the Nov. 30 concert date, Kuykendall said, but a week later tour organizers began requesting changes in the contract. 

A week before the show, Caven received the revised contract and were surprised to learn that O’Dowd “wanted a 40-by-60-foot stage and about $50,000 in sound equipment,” Kuykendall said. 

“We spent a lot of time talking with his sound technician, Joe Stella, who travels with him and we got it all worked out. 

We brought in everything they asked for, down to the exact brand names they wanted.” 

According to Kuykendall, problems mounted at mid-afternoon on the day of the concert, when Stella arrived at the nightclub to oversee the sound system. 

"We showed him the set up," Kuykendall commented, "and he just started going off. He could not be pleased by anything we had done or were doing. He had us rebuild the speaker towers four times. He had us moving things, and then moving them back. The man was totally incompetent.” 

When he arrived at the concert venue later in the evening, O'Dowd reviewed arrangements and the declared that he refused to go onstage because he would have to walk through the crowd

When Boy George walked out shortly after beginning last Saturday evening's concert, "it was absolute chaos," said a Caven Enterprises official. 

to get to the stage. 

Eventually the performer agreed to the arrangements, and was escorted to the stage surrounded by his Hari Krishna bodyguards. 

“There were 15 of them, so he was surrounded about five deep. No one could get to him,” Kuykendall recalled. 

Once the singer was on stage, however, the situation worsened, Kuykendall claimed. 

“In the first three minutes he was on stage, he sent word back to have four different people in four different sections of the bar thrown out or he wouldn’t continue. These people weren’t causing any trouble. They weren’t heckling him or interfering with the concert, so I don’t know why he wanted them to leave," he said. 

O’Dowd then “started his first song, then stopped. 

He was cussing Dallas, the venue, the sound system, everything. 

He walked off stage then, but his guitar player talked him into coming back out. 

George didn’t think the monitors on the stage were giving him the proper mix. 

Then he started his second song, “Do Ya Really Want To Hurt Me?” but he just stopped in the middle and walked off, and refused to come back," Kuykendall said. 

At that point, Kuykendall said, some disgruntled members of the audience began throwing bottles and rushing the stage. 

Caven employees, including CEO Denis Weir, went on stage to “try and calm the crowd down and explain the refund procedure,” Kuykendall said, but found themselves the targets of flying bottles. 

“We were trying to find the tour manager and we couldn’t find him. We couldn’t find Boy George. It was absolute chaos," Kuykendall said, adding that he eventually found O’Dowd “lying on the floor of the van, with his band members and all lying on top of him to hide him and protect him. I took them all back to the Fairmont [Hotel] then." Kuykendall insisted this week that "We met every condition of the contract, including the original rider and the revised rider. Everything was provided and set up in the exact manner they asked for. Boy George was just being a prima donna. He’s not an easy person to get along with.” 

Scott agreed that the problems apparently were not the fault of Caven Enterprises. 

“What happened in Dallas is a disgrace,” he said. 

The incident at the Village is just one example of the problems and bad feelings that have followed in O’Dowd’s wake on what was supposed to be his comeback tour. 

Scott admits that “there were problems in Miami, in San Francisco, Kansas City, Oklahoma City. There hasn’t been one date where there wasn’t something that was not perfect. No date on this tour has been easy.” 

O'Dowd went from Dallas to Oklahoma city where he was scheduled to perform a “60 minute-plus” concert at Angles, a nightclub owned by Scott Wilson. 

In a telephone interview on Wednesday, Wilson said O’Dowd “did not live up to the agreement. He did not give us the required minimum time. The fans who were here enjoyed the concert, and they were not aware that he didn’t do what he was supposed to do. But he sure didn’t do what I expected him to do.” 

Persons who dealt with O’Dowd at concert dates in other parts of the country were less restrained. 

A San Francisco gay newspaper, Bay Area Reporter, reported that at a party following O’Dowd’s Nov. 17 concert at Club DV8 — a party at which O’Dowd had agreed to meet with the press — the singer refused to speak with the press and instead sequestered himself in a room, blocked by a guard, to which only “fabulous, adorable drag queens and really cute boys” were allowed entrance, according to BAR. 

photographer Jane Cieland. 

Cleland said that when O’Dowd did emerge from the room, surrounded by an entourage, she began to take photographs. 

But “someone blocked my lens and knocked me out of the way.” 

She noted that as he left, O’Dowd was saying, ‘“Get out of my way, f-ck you, get away from me,’ and then jumped in a car and left.” 

In the Nov. 27 edition of B.A.R., O’Dowd’s own management company, W3 Management, also decried the singer’s attitude and actions the day after the concert at Club DV8. 

“George has apparently been even ruder to press and others elsewhere around the country, particularly in Miami,” a spokesperson told B.AJi. 

“If we didn’t have so much money already tied up on this tour, we’d drop him in a minute.” 

Despite the abundance of bad reports on O’Dowd’s attitude and performance, some people involved with his recent appearances have only good things to say about the singer. 

Christine Jarosz, coordinator for the Red Hot! Again benefit, described O’Dowd as “nothing but kind and gentle, loving and supportive” during the brief time he was at the Majestic Theatre on Saturday night. 

“I was with him the whole time, from the time he got there to the time he left, and I never saw him do or say anything rude. There were some people backstage, some of the performers, who were upset because he was late and maybe they had a bad attitude. But Boy George was great. He even stood outside in the rain and signed autographs for a couple of kids before going inside to the dressing room. When he left, he hugged me and said thanks.” 

Jerry Resseque, manager of Rich’s in Houston where O’Dowd performed on Nov. 24, also complimented the singer and the concert: “There were no problems here whatsoever. It was an excellent concert.” 

Red, Hot1 organizer expresses disappointment Dismal ticket sales and what coordinator Christine Jarosz characterized as a lack of support by “some segments of the gay community,” left Saturday night’s Red Hot! Again AIDS benefit concert approximately $12,000 in the red, Jarosz said this week. 

Despite the event’s financial failure, Jarosz declared it was “one of the nicest events ever held in Dallas. The performers, the theater, the emcee, the volunteer workers were all wonderful. Other than the low turn-out and the debt, it was a very powerful and uplifting experience.” 

Jarosz said that “We already had some inkling” that attendance would be poor “from the poor press coverage we got before the event.” 

She also said she was “shocked at the support that was promised by a lot of gay men in this community that never materialized. It seems that some of the men in this community are afraid to let women be in charge, to let women do something.” 

The concert, which featured a variety of performers, was Dallas’ contribution to the international Red Hot! Again effort, a network of concerts/dances scheduled to take place simultaneously in cities around the world, including Los Angeles, New York, Paris and Sydney. 

The Dallas event was produced by Womyn For Womyn and was intended to benefit a number of area AIDS research and service agencies. 

Jarosz said that a Red Hot! Again event “definitely will” be planned for next year in Dallas, and stressed that “it’s not too late for people to send donations” to this year’s effort to help pay off the outstanding debt.

[getmylife]

Update (Post-therapy appointment)

Completed August 28, 2023

So I had a consultation with a psychiatrist this week and when I tell you I feel so validated and justified. We haven't spoken about PMDD yet, but we're talking about ADHD, autism and OCD. When I tell you I'm both shocked and not surprised at all. These "diagnoses" (I'm using that word loosely because Idk that I've been diagnosed or it's just that I meet a lot of the criteria) just feel like one giant step in the right direction. #Soul

In light of figuring myself out and trying to improve my mental health, I'm taking a step back when it comes to all of the volunteer projects. I'm trying to see who I can get to take care of all my students when September comes, because I don't think I could make any strides forward if I'm stressing over after-school lessons. #World

When it comes to building, the tiles have supposedly arrived, but we're having trouble clearing them. Once that's sorted hopefully we'll get those laid and be one step closer to finishing. Last week we met with a joiner about closets, bathroom vanities and kitchen cabinets. We're organizing windows too. So it's all happening. Still a bit slow, but I'm grateful. #Den

I've been so good at writing lately. I finally got back into my current WIP and I've been sending it to one of my friends overseas as I write each chapter and she is so hyped it's inspiring. She's so excited about the story and so it makes me excited about the story and so I keep writing. I think I've sent her two chapters in the past four weeks which is incredible for me. #Pen

I've not found the willpower to take care of my skin with the products the dermatologist recommended. So my skin has been a challenge, but it's so much better than earlier this year. Also prune juice has been a win when it comes to bowel movements. Not there yet on hydration yet especially since it's been so stinking hot, but we keep on keeping on. #Bones

I have not used any of my instruments in way too long. I'm not beating myself up about that, though, which is good. The only thing is that when the psychiatrist asked what I do in my spare time, I didn't mention music at all (T.T) . My DuoLingo streak on the other hand is fire. I'm almost at my 250 days streak. Did I have to use a ton of streak freezes? (Yes), but this is still something to celebrate. #Tones

I do not know how to cook or drive, but I'm learning to live with myself LOL #Skills

I have a date with one of my cousins once he's back from vacation. We're supposed to go for ice-cream. So that's it for my social life. I also have been chatting a lot with my uni roommates. That's been fun. I've been watching Ted Lasso and an early 2000s Tarzan adaptation in my free moments. Been scrolling le TikTok and reading lots of fanfic. These have been anxiety inducing as of late, though. #Thrills

I got recommended three books by my psychiatrist so definitely some room for some sick #Quotes.

I've been fairly consistent with my Self-evals and I'd like to be consistent with these updates too #Notes.

[the-firebird69]

Actually Trump owns universal studios and Disney so be putting up our own castle and the castle would look different and he tried to take it over because he can't figure out who owns what who's doing what. And now we get it too usually people are jumping up and down it's my stuff and what he's saying is all he has is his bike and his other stuff and someone else is doing it so he wants it to go up so he can try and take it and tell me if wants to see who it is and Mac wants to see who it is. And queen Camilla Parker bowles wants to see who it is and lots of them when I go there and try and figure it out it's all sorts of contest and gifts I'm going to publish now

Thor Freya

Live a lot of changes here today and it's the management I'm going to start doing those projects the small ones cuz these people are pushing for it just like you thought and most of them are low income well all the small ones are and we are going to go ahead and award a bunch of projects to ourselves we have to land and we're going to proceed and we're getting support finally and most people are supporting it and also the management here has changed the the mayor and the councilman are still the same the selected whenever and the State Assembly but they dropped from $3,000 to 2000 and it's changing out and that's half I don't know that's it's it started at around 4,500 it's over half out in the management is changing and they want stuff to start everybody farts around with it when they're idiots for a long time and they say stuff for like a year it takes way too long it's way too long okay so our son says he's going to start a program he's going to try and bribe them to get the apartment complex going and they'll sit there and say it's illegal and try and take it over after the fact having some dirt on him they'll say what do you pass off with it says well you get 100 and that's like a 900 bucks a month or a thousand bucks a month and subsidized so that's $100,000 * 12 1.2 million so for a hundred unit complex I would give like a brand new Corvette stingray the way it is now but just a 2023 we're fully loaded my view but if you talking like a 400 that's four times which is like 4.4 million dollars so I probably cough up like a brand new I don't make the GT anymore yet that's new releases and I'm here it is and they don't make that one either yet that's a cough up like an hourly Audi coupe sports car and they're pretty pretty cool they're fast and for like a thousand would be almost 12 million dollars for the first year so it cough up like a Ferrari testarossa which is like an entry level Ferrari it's it's a fast car it's just not the most expensive Ferrari and they agree it's not an entry level car and by any way it's a famous extremely fast supercar and the 23 isn't already built and John remillard would look at it like bribery thinks he could use it because they're supposedly still his company too.

Zues Hera

Like the idea and we know that need some cash involved and they're wondering when I would come from so I'm going to try and grease the wheels cuz this is slow as LF and we have to like put cash in the planning department I want to do it like it's a bribe but we didn't give it to you at all and you can make it up this otherwise I'll say that they didn't take it and also the s*** if you leave it at Dunkin donuts and you're sitting next to it and they look at it and grab it then they'll say they bribed us. Okay so we drive the Ferrari up and we run out of gas down the street and the keys are in the titles in it and it's not signed I get that and we have some real estate cards stuff like that and we're going to do it that way cuz then they run around and try and stuff it to you we've done this before yeah and it came up he came up with it we want to do it now they say and we haven't had any kind of hints or anything so we can't do it now

Thor Freya

This message is approved this method is not to be done by anybody who is not a formal spy of ours and approved to do this procedure and a son is and daughter and we are proceeding

Olympus

[littlemissnoname13]

You & Your Green Apples - (D.M) (nsfw, 18+)

Summary: Draco keeps showing up at the reader’s door late at night after working on the cabinet. They work out a system for their clandestine meetings.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader, HBP era (HBP Draco lives in my mind rent free.)

Word count: 2000

Warnings: Mature language and themes, 18+, fluff at the beginning, some smut with a hint of angst at the end. Just a pinch.

A/n: Sorry I keep writing about Draco and his vanishing cabinet storyline. That’s just because I wrote a whole 20+ chapter fic in the last 3 months only to later break it down into one shots. :(

~~~~~~~~~~

Another sleepless night. There was nothing new about it. 

Between tossing, turning, changing sleeping positions and occasionally thinking about Draco Malfoy, you had not managed to sleep a wink.

Everything felt strangely still and awfully silent during the night. 

Except for the light snore coming from your roommate’s side of the room signaling that she had probably fallen asleep in a rather uncomfortable position and the beating of your own heart.

So when you suddenly noticed two other sounds— mainly knocking and scratching coming from the other side of your door, you instantly reached for your glasses and your wand. 

You tiptoed all the way to the door with your wand at the ready as you twisted the doorknob as quietly as possible. 

“You simply can not keep coming to my dorm like this! Especially in the middle of the night!” You hissed, shutting your door behind you when you realized it was Draco at you door the the second time that week—looking like he had been through hell and back and his hair looking like it has seen better days. 

“I couldn’t sleep y/l/n—and judging by the looks of it, you haven't slept a wink either.” He shrugged before backing you firmly up against the door. 

“I—”

“Nice glasses by the way.” He commented, reaching for your tortoise shell glasses and pulling it away from your face. “Although you look rather ravishing in it, I don’t like the way it hides your eyes.” 

After getting rid of your glasses, he gazed deeply into your eyes before moving his gaze lower and lower—stopping at your slightly parted mouth. 

You tried to take a step back but you knew you had nowhere else to go as his face drew in closer and closer till your lips were mere centimeters apart.

“We can't keep doing this Draco.” You whispered as he attached his mouth to yours. His tongue traced lightly over your lower lips and your lips parted even more allowing him to explore your mouth with his tongue.

“Tell me to go away then.” He whispered between the kisses you shared. “Tell me you don't want this as much as I do.”

“I do—I just..we just....” You began and he backed away looking at you carefully as you tried to catch your breath. “We just need to work out a system.”

“What do you even mean?” 

“We need a system for our um—whatever this is and how to go about it without people finding out.” You whispered gently, running your hands up and down his sturdy seeker frame. 

“Sneaking around.” Draco bared his pearly whites in a mischievous grin. “Sounds fun.”

“I’m being serious Malfoy.” 

“Fine.” He muttered, folding his arms as he backed away further. “But we definitely can’t do letters or notes—I don't want your roommate getting her gremlin hands on them.”

Your roommate finding out was the least of his concerns. The only reason he wanted to keep this a secret was because he couldn’t risk putting you in any sort of danger—he’d never forgive himself if he did.

“Hey!” You lightly punched him in the stomach before you towards the common room. “Be nice—she’s my friend.” 

He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at you, almost fuming as his footsteps followed yours. “Can’t we do the talking part later?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Fine. What do we do then?” 

“It needs to be something ordinary—something normal.” you mumbled fidgeting with the sleeves of your top. 

He heaved a huge sigh before reclining against the sofa and closing his eyes. You couldn't ignore the bluish purple veins that were visible on his eyelids. 

“Draco?” 

He hummed before opening only one of his eyes to look at you. 

“Have you been sleeping at all?— you also barely touch your food. Is everything okay?” 

“Everything is fine y/n. I have been eating fine.” He muttered curtly before reaching into his coat pocket to pull out a green apple. “Just fucking hurry up with your system or whatever.” 

He took a small bite from his apple and you looked at him with a playful smile forming on your face. “You and your green apples.”

“What?” He raised his eyebrows at you as he took another bite.

“Nothing.” You mumbled, shaking your head. “You just tend to be the first person that pops into my mind when I see a green apple.” 

“That’s it y/l/n. There you have it.” He chuckled slightly before getting rid of the apple core. 

“Excuse me?”

“A system.” He said before grabbing you by the hand and pulling you onto his lap. “If you ever see me holding a green apple, let that act as a warning that I’ll probably show up at your door.”

You contemplated his idea in your mind for a few seconds as he let his head fall on the base of your neck.

“There are so many logistical issues to that.” You finally pointed out giggling as he started to nibble on your exposed collar bone.

“Fine, we can just use it till we think of something better.” He murmured against your skin. “Something more logistically sound and...permanent.”

You wanted to protest but the ministrations of his lips on your skin and the way his hands found their way under your shirt and roamed your body convinced you otherwise. 

“Okay.” You whispered into his ears, nibbling softly on his earlobe because you knew the exact effect it would have on him. 

As a response, Draco bared his teeth gently sucking and biting on your exposed skin.

“Now that you have your system worked out, I have other more important plans for us.” He said in a raspy whisper with his mercurial eyes darkening.

He did have other important plans for you both. 

Most of which left a haphazard trail of clothes on the floor.

 Most of which left you with purple marks all over your neck. 

Most of which left you wanting even more.

Draco missed most of his classes but when he did manage to show up to one or two, he would always have a green apple with him. Some days he’d take a bite from it and some days he’d simply toss the fruit into the air and catch it again. 

And just as predicted, he’d be at your door at night. 

Some days he’d greet you with a smile before lifting you up in his arms and taking you to his room.On other days, he’d show up and kiss you feverishly in a no words needed type of way. 

Draco would even spend the night when your roommates were away. 

“Please Draco..more—oh fuck.” You arched your back and curled your fists on your sheets. Your hips kept bucking as two of his fingers kept pumping in and out trying to make you cum on them.

“Shhhhh.” He said before leaning down the second you felt the tip of his tongue circling your clit. He stared up at you in between licks—trying to steal a glance at your face.

Incoherent sentences fell out of your ruined lips and your messy and tangled hair fell on your face. He thought you were stunning.

Especially when you lifted your head and looked down at him with your needy eyes.

There was just something about you. Something that made him feel a little less lost.

After he felt your legs spasm as you came on his tongue, he slowly came up. Your legs parted even more making enough room for him as he slowly pressed his entire length inside of you.

You gasped at the feeling of being stretched out and Draco grabbed one of your legs and placed it on his shoulder—pressing his cock even deeper.

Your chest kept rising and falling rapidly as you adjusted yourself to his size as he slowly rocked his hips.

“You feel so amazing..” He groaned as he pushed harder and harder with each thrust, causing you to grip his biceps for support.

And even though you used the muffliato charm to silence the room, he had to cover your mouth with his ring clad hands and while he thrusted in and out of you—you just couldn’t stop screaming his name.

“Please—Draco..keep doing that..”

His thumb found your clit and started to rub steady circles while he angled himself to hit that one spot that had your head spinning.

He’d been fantasising about this very moment the minute he laid eyes on you when you walked into class.

His perfectly timed thrusts and his wonderfully skilled fingers made you only want to rock your hips into his as you felt your orgasm approach.

“Draco I’m…”

Your thighs trembled and your hips bucked as you came hard and Draco enjoyed the way you looked for a few seconds before trying to pull out of you.

But you shook your head and wrapped both your legs around his torso, encouraging him to keep going.

“Y/n..you don’t have to..”

“Please…I want you to cum for me. Don’t stop till you cum for me..”

The way you begged made any type of self control he may have had inside of him snap and he grabbed both your legs and put them onto his shoulders—pushing himself back inside of you.

He kept pushing harshly while you kept moaning his name, feeling your own orgasm build up inside you again.

“Yes...Draco. Oh gods! Yes! Just like that.”

“Fuck..y/n..” He groaned as he came.

~~~~~~

On one of the following days, you decided to take a green apple to class. Only to see if he would notice and oh, he did.

On your way out of the classroom, Draco grabbed you by the wrist and led you towards an empty classroom.

He just loved the way your skirt hiked up your body when he bent you over a desk.

As the weeks went by, both of you kept doing unspeakable things with one another. And of course, both of you did not speak much about it afterwards.

You’d just pick our clothes up and carry on with your day.

But no matter what you both did or where you did it to be exact, you couldn’t help but think about the way he used the word Permanent.

You wondered if there was a possibility of this being more than just a hookup or if that was too much to hope for.

“What are you thinking about, hm?”

His sleepy morning voice startled you. His shirt was unbuttoned all the way, revealing his toned abdomen.

You ran your fingertips along the scars on his chest before placing small kisses along it. He never told you how he got those scars. No matter how many times you asked.

He also never took his shirt off all the way and even though you craved to feel every inch of his body, you respected his decision.

“I don’t know. Just thinking about us—about what is happening.” You finally said.

“What do you mean?”

“What are we doing Draco? What is this?”

That was his cue to storm off. He’d always storm off on this topic in the past. But for some odd reason, his expression softened as he moved closer to you under the sheets.

“I wish I could give you the answer that you want.” He murmured, pushing loose strands of your unruly bed hair away from your face. “But the time we have is so fragile.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nevermind.” He let out a strained laugh as he lay on his back stared at the ceiling. “Just know that I’ll always keep these little moments close to me. I will think about these days—think about you in my darkest hours y/n.”

“But—”

“Don’t overthink it Y/n, you’ll ruin it if you do.” He whispered, tracing shapes on your back. “Just go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” You murmured burying yourself into his arms—feeling an intense need to get more of him. Even though he was sleeping next to you, your gut kept telling you to hold him tighter. Hold him like you’d never get to hold him again.

You woke up all alone later that night.

His side was made perfectly. There were no creases or warmth on the sheets to remind you that he was, in fact, sleeping next to you.

It felt like you had made up everything inside of your head until you saw a green apple on your night stand.

You slowly picked up his green apple and discovered a note underneath.

“I’ll always be thinking of you y/n. No matter what happens next.”

But before you could place the apple back on your desk and make your way towards his dorm room, your door swung open.

Your roommate ran into your room with terror flaring in her eyes.

“Death eaters.” She stuttered. “They’re in the castle.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Lots of love as always,

V

[variousqueerthings]

okay now I'm like... headcanons for trans!daniel training with terry... I haven't really gotten deeply into these thoughts yet, so... very vague for now... most of it starts out with some thoughts I'm having generally about 80s terry and transness (which is different to 2000s terry and transness I think, purely because of the ease of accessing information)

some content warnings for what silverrusso would be like if daniel was also trans, just mainly that like... I mean terry's, you know. terry. he's always gonna be a bit weird about how he approaches stuff -- surprisingly not as dark as you might think based off of that?

nothing graphic

but also cw for thoughts along these lines: transphobia in the forms of fetishism, objectification, and invasive questioning, mentions of different kinds of surgery, brief mentions of possible violence

1. in this scenario Terry finds out that Daniel is trans

2. terry -- perhaps surprisingly, unless you know him a bit better -- knows more about trans people than most.

3. he's been with trans sex workers and he's hyper-fascinated in trans bodies, in a way that he thinks is fine, because what he thinks he's doing is relating

the idea of creating your own body is his whole Thing. It's what he did after the war. Ownership over your own life. Creating something beautiful. Godlike. Metamorphosis.

4. it's fetishistic -- he likes touching bodies that are trans, studying them, analysing them. He's even paid for a few bottom surgeries and facial hair removal procedures, cosmetic surgeries, and implants (lips, jaws, around the eyes, breasts, butts) and oestrogen, curious to document the changes. He didn't build himself this way, and yet... it feels familiar

it's also complicated in the sense that Terry usually considers himself gay. He's had sex with cis women, but mostly only because it's expected (he's even been into sex with some cis women but they don't keep him interested for long), and he's had sex with trans women who consider themselves post-op, but in his head there's a part of him that thinks they're somewhere else in terms of classification -- they're women, but they used to be men, and that's much better than other women

5. curiously he hasn't come across many trans men before, or at least, not consciously. the spaces that trans men tend to exist in aren't quite the same as Silver's hunting grounds for the most part.

they're not as much in gay spaces, (often they begin in lesbian bars and Terry isn't interested (or wanted)) nor does Terry clock them when he's out looking to pick up a trans woman, because he's not looking for those bodies

twice though, when he was cruising in gay bars and picked up a boy, he realized that this was different. this was special. They were boys on T who were stealth. He could tell that first time that there was fear for a few seconds, when he told him -- waiting for his reaction.

(he's gotta admire the balls (metaphorically) of these people going places with men like him, the women and the men. It's not like he couldn't hurt them real badly if he wanted to... and that power is hot too)

6. it was special. With those boys. Special in ways he could never really figure out. He got rid of 'em quickly, like they were more dangerous than anything else he'd done.... so it was only those two. One by accident, one on purpose

7. and Daniel.

almost

8. at first he was just gonna destroy the kid. Then he saw him

9. he didn't know that Daniel was trans, then

10. god, he was beautiful. He blushed easily, tanned easily, bounced when he walked, looked wary at first, but trusted much, much to easily

he fell in love with Silver -- he had a good eye for that sort of thing, and Daniel was never subtle. He'd sensed there was something he was holding back and figured it was that Daniel had probably never told anyone that he liked men before. Never kissed a man before

(Terry had never been anyone's first since John -- certainly not since he built this body for himself)

11. and then... Daniel apologized, practically ran out of the dojo, and while Terry wasn't gonna lie and say he hadn't been hoping for an evening of something more, he knew he just had to take it slow. He was his first. That was all this was. Jitters

12. meanwhile Daniel was spiraling because this was different to Ali or Kumiko. Sure, there was danger there, they could've rejected him, hell, they could've (but he never thought that of them) told everyone if they'd wanted to, but this... it was much, much more terrifying

he couldn't say what about it, exactly. Yeah, Silver was a man and his experience with men in the last year had usually been beatings and death matches, and if he thought about it (which he didn't, because he was sheltered from that) there might have been some kind of fear that Silver could get violent because of this, but it wasn't that...

it was just... for some reason he didn't know if he could trust him enough to tell him

which he immediately told himself was ridiculous, because if you can't trust a guy whose tongue you just had down your throat, then who can you trust? (Oh, Daniel...)

13. Daniel being Daniel (easily trusting, jump first ask questions later, bold, beautiful, brave) told him the very next time they met up, mentally steeling himself for... something

14. that never came. Because Silver (and he really oughta call him Terry at this point, but he couldn't really) was delighted. How long had he known? Who else knew? What kind of changes had he made to his body?

15. Daniel, unfortunately, was pretty young, and pretty overpowered and hey, Silver was cool with it so he owed it to answer him, right? So he did

16. much later on, Daniel can comfort himself that they never had sex. Not in the ways he'd define it, anyway. Not all the way

there was... stuff... and he knew that if he hadn't gone to cancel the lessons -- if he hadn't felt like it was too much and too fast and something was wrong about just punching some guy in the face and he was very sorry, but he was gonna have to quit, and then the other shoe had dropped -- it would've eventually happened, if Silver had kept on pretending at that moment, if it hadn't been about getting him to fight in the tournament above everything else

if Silver hadn't dropped the façade, Daniel knows he would've. He wanted to...

17. curious though, that Daniel had been prepared for Silver to tell everyone. Prepared for ridicule and expulsion from the AVT and probing questions into his highschool records and issues with his IDs and violence (the threat of violence became present all too suddenly)

and he never did

18. eventually the fear that Silver would use this against him at some unexpected moment (when he started dating Amanda, when he began to do well working in dealerships, when they opened their own, when they filed for their permanent house... every celebratory moment included a twinge of fear that gradually lessened...) disappeared, just as surely as Silver himself did

19. everything was fine

20. (Terry had done what he had to -- he was a good soldier, putting John first like that. And John had left him anyway. Which left Terry with nothing but the truth -- if he'd been a weaker kind of man, maybe he would've shared it, spilled it away like it wasn't the most precious thing, but Terry didn't like sharing beautiful things

that was one concession to himself, even after years of therapy and cutting out the bad habits, and metamorphosing yet again -- this precious thing that Danny had given him, he'd keep it for himself, as a memory

21. everything was fine)

[byunbaekhyunie]

but i want your opinion on the music video 🧐

omg thank u for asking me cause i didnt wanna bore anybody with my two cents critic but i have so much to say!!（＞人＜）

alright so real quick abt the music - cause that ties into how I feel abt the mv - I don't think MAVERICK is a great song. IMO, it's the weakest out the album but most importantly, it doesn't fit the concept of the comeback musically. We're operating within this dark dystopian universe, and somehow the b-sides do a much better job at conveying that eerie, grim atmosphere than MAVERICK does. Normally, or ideally I should say, the title track sets the tone and everything else follows suit, here I feel like the song is out of place, it's mismatched with the rest. So when I'm watching the mv, it all falls very flat for me cause the music doesn't compliment the visuals and vice versa...

now,,, abt the music video itself. Maybe this is a me problem because I love lore, but this mv has no narrative spine. And that in and out of itself isn't a problem, not everything needs a crazy complex three-act structure, a great example is Thrill Ride ; it's just a simple video of them singing and having fun, there's no bigger picture and that's great. But here.. they're referencing Battle Royale (2000), one of the most prominent east asian movies of all time, it's a cultural staple, not only is there symbolism here that's left untapped but there's so much to pull from in terms of storyline! It's insane to me that they wouldn't want to do the bare minimum to pull all this together a little more neatly, even more so considering the global phenomenon that is Squid Game atm like it would be so easy to piggyback off of that just for marketing sake.. and like idk,, I was left so perplexed by this video that I had to go and make sure that it was directed and produced by HAUS OF TEAM, which it is indeed :/

Now don't get me wrong, I love HAUS and their work with tbz, I think they're really good at creating a visual universe, they even got Cho Giseok to shoot some of their pictures!! They're a very good production team,, and maybe I should direct part of my grievances to Cackler Ent. too but, they're missing someone who could take it a step further with good writing and storytelling. I'm so worked up abt this cause there's so much potential there, and it would set them forward by a landslide I think if they could figure that out. Like, I would've loved for a little backstory teaser to lay down some ground rules and set some stakes. Cause here's the thing: idk why tbz are there, if they're there by choice or by force, idk if there's a motive to fight, idk anything !! The collars would've made a nice entry point into the story for example. I have to say, I was surprised when I saw that both the trailer and the teaser for this comeback were... essentially the same thing. It's a downgrade in quality when u compare it to what they did for The Stealer, or even Thrill Ride.. Sidenote: I hope this doesn't set the tone for what's gonna happen after the play m merger cause... oof 😐

Overall, the video lacks any sort of cinematic ambition that it almost feels cheap. It's shot so incredibly tightly that it takes away any immersive experience, which is a shame considering that they were filming on location, smth they haven't done in a while if u exclude Christmassy! Like to me, that's not good use of the set. There's very little prop and what little there is isn't utilized properly. Just some examples: Sangyeon's bag. what's in it? is it money? is it weapons? where and how did he get his hands on it? ; Haknyeon's pencil. like... just why. ; Jacob uses a rocket launcher but we're not shown who/what he shoots, why he shoots it, there's not even one blow up scene to try to create the tiniest semblance of narrative cohesion like? u gotta ask urself at this point, why even bother? And like I said, it wouldn't be hard at all to tie some of the details together for the sake of a cleaner narrative arc...

And it's not like the song helps tie it all together either, cause according to the lyrics I'm led to believe that they're all social misfits who do this for the love of the game. Or if u really wanna push it, u could argue that they go from 'Back in the game' to 'Breaking the game' which means that in fact, they're coming up with ways to outsmart whoever's in control of the Battle Royale ; effectively creating their own path and their own rules (i.e. MAVERICK wow). Which is all fine and dandy, but doesn't substitute for the missing narrative thread in the mv..

But not only is the storyline full of holes, it gets borderline nonsensical. Like during the comeback show, Sunu said that he loses to Kevin. Like in that scene where they fight, Sunwoo loses and like? somehow he finds himself outside. With just a scratch on his cheek after Kevin throws a grenade at him????? Like that's one aspect that I wholeheartedly don't understand is that it seems in their version of a battle royale, no one dies... Which contradicts the entire concept of what battle royale is and is why I need more context here.

Like here are just some very simple ideas out of my own little peanut brain of how they could have introduced some deeper storylines: - to me, the shot where Kyeobmuda stands together alludes to them being, if not a team, on some sort of truce at least ; therefore I think it could've been cool for Changmin to have an arrow in his leg when he's wounded and crawling on the floor to call back to when Chanhee shoots an arrow seemingly in. that. same. corridor. like come on that shit writes itself, like it would've been an interesting way to introduce friendship and betrayal, and explained why both of them are crying at the end,, or idk anything for a more engaging story - Younghoon manages to escape from Changmin after being tied up but for what? he's not even seen escaping. He has a lighter with him at some point, could've been a nice call back to have a scene where smth (or god forbid, even someone) is set on fire - the 'TAKE A BREATH' note that's given to Hyunjae, I feel that it hints at the gas chamber where he and Juyeon get trapped by Sangyeon and like idk if maybe instead of that stupid pencil, they had give Haknyeon a red pen or the other way around so that it tied together with the note like that could've explained why Jyu and Hyunjae both seem to be immune to whatever gas they're inhaling in there, like if Haknyeon had warned Hyunjae so that he could've saved himself from Sangyeon's plan without him knowing like HELLLLLOOOO - and finally, just anything. ANYTHING. to make that final message make sense like 'Protect yourself from what u want' well If Only. If only I knew what it is that they wanted like pls tell me, I'm Begging to know.

so yea, closing statement. Unfortunately, MAVERICK was a disappointment for me. It might be my least favorite the boyz comeback to date, if I wasn't already worried abt merger before lol... All that being said, I would like to end on a few positive notes so  I like the outfits... and the choreo is decent. Juyeon looks really handsome with his hair cut short like that.. and also I wanna compliment tbz for their overall performance, the acting, the dancing, everything, I think they did great with what little was given to them and in such short notice too, which is.. an umpteenth reason why I wish the company would've gone the extra mile for them instead of pushing to release a 3 song album in 2 months :/

guess i'll have to sustain myself with the 2 b-sides and my imagination until next cb ^^'