#because then you never mattered enough for them to want to maintain that connection

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

The whole ignored vs forgotten poll is so interesting and ended up prompting me to reflect upon the thought process behind the bpd for me

Like I'm not fine with being ignored, but it hurts less because I can choose to ignore them back and cut them off and it's a "I left you before you left me" type of situation

Vs being forgotten that indicates that they never really gave a shit and that I've already been abandoned and then that ultimately triggers the SI and I'm just like 👁👄👁

[elysiansparadise]

Composite chart observations 4

🤎Moon either ruling 2nd, 4th or 7th house makes both of you constantly want each other's presence. They need to be close to each other many times, and only the presence of the other is enough to make them feel better. They may perceive the presence of the other as soothing, relaxing or very comfortable, lowering their defences and being more expressive and receptive of love and affection. There is a feeling of being at home, of being safe and of feeling mutually protected and loved. This desire to care for and support others naturally arises from them.

🤎When Mars or Pluto rules the 11th house shows a strong sense of complicity. They are the kind of duo that live exciting, fun or crazy experiences in some cases and get each other's back no matter what. There is a lot of loyalty between you and, even if you are not very verbal or communicative with your appreciation, you will know that the other person values ​​and appreciates you very much. They will not hesitate to jump to defend the other from whoever or whatever. It can be like 'I can mess with you, but nobody else can't', because this duo does it playfully and will not tolerate another person doing something, even the smallest thing to attack or hurt the other.

🤎With Mercury in water signs [Cancer, Scorpio & Pisces] or houses [4th, 8th or 12th] you may both feel that it is easier to talk about your emotions and open up to the other person. They may share things they have never done before with others and feel that they can be truly vulnerable with each other. This duo may prefer personal and in-depth conversations rather than small talk or talking about things that are very mundane for them. It will be easy for them to get lost for a long time in conversations with each other.

🤎When the Ruler of the 1st house is placed in the 8th house or vice versa, this relationship is characterised by being very strong and lasting. They can experience many intense things and stay by each other's side regardless. Both will know the dark sides of the other and that will not stop them from appreciating, loving or respecting each other. It is also very common in those couples that, although it is difficult for them to open up and trust others, they see in the other someone they can fully trust and who will always keep their secrets.

🤎Jupiter in Leo is one of the most beautiful placements to have here. Both people will mutually encourage the other to be themselves and love or even admire the other's true personality. Moments of fun, lightheartedness and genuine joy in sharing moments together. There can be playful banters and drama, both parties will keep things interesting for the other party. They will make the other feel more enthusiastic and self-confident. Furthermore, what I consider most wonderful about this placement is that they will seek to contribute positively to the other's life, doing many things to maintain their happiness or create beautiful moments especially for them. the other.

🤎Saturn or Pluto in the 3rd house make both of you feel like you can talk about many topics no matter how difficult they are. These couples, friends or colleagues do not shy away from difficult conversations and can have an easier time understanding the other's point and making them feel heard when they share their most personal experiences or opinions.

🤎When the ruler of the 7th is in the 4th or vice versa, both of you will be able to connect on a very strong emotional level. They will instinctively understand what the other needs to feel comfortable and no emotion will be hard for the other to process. This is a relationship in which both seek comfort and mutual understanding, there is a deep love between you and a tendency to pamper and spoil the other, being able to easily be the other's soft spot. They awaken the tenderness and affection of the other.

🤎The best placements for Saturn are in their domicile houses, that is 10th and 11th house. This is because both placements are great indicators of long-term planning, both see the relationship as something they want to maintain over time, in addition, something in which they will not hesitate to invest time and energy. They find value in this bond with the other person by finding them as someone suitable, someone who easily makes them feel worth trying.

🤎When the ruler of the 5th house is placed in the 2nd or 4th house, it is very likely that they will enjoy more calm, intimate and homely plans. From watching movies together, cooking at home or doing sleepovers. They will enjoy meetings in which there are only the two of them to get to know each other better, to learn more about each other. They have a deep desire and taste for intimacy with others, especially emotional, from talking about the past, their emotions or things in which they find a lot of value. They can be naturally very touchy and caring with each other.

🤎Venus either ruling 6th or 12th house can tell us that the love language of both is acts of service. Both will always try to help the other, whether it is finishing tasks or dealing with a lot of emotional and work/academic burdens. They enjoy and find pleasure knowing that they can make others feel better or more relaxed. They will seek to do small actions that make the other feel more comfortable and happy.

🤎When Venus is ruling 2nd or 10th house it means that, although they are not very verbally expressive, both prefer to show their love and affection through actions, gifts, or more tangible things. Both people will take small and practical actions that lead to improving the relationship. They will have gestures such as asking about each other's boundaries, what they like, what they value most in relationships [whether romantic or friendly] and they will always cherish each one of them. They are even likely to value the same things in a relationship, which makes for a long-lasting and strong bond.

🤎Saturn in the 8th or 12th house tells us about a couple who has individually experienced hardships and find it difficult to trust other people. However, in this relationship both can manage to open up to each other and work together to create a relationship in which they accompany the other in their most difficult moments, being a reliable pillar of great strength and reliability. There's mutual support and a desire to be caring towards the other, even if it's in a subtle way.

🤎When there is a stellium in the 9th house this couple can motivate each other and be a great teacher for each other. There is a feeling that together they grow a lot and that they have a partner at their side who fills their lives with fun and meaningful lessons or experiences. They may feel that the person is everything they ever wanted or that they somehow "manifested" the other.

🤎When Jupiter is in the 10th house, they both always push each other to go for more and achieve great things. They make each other feel capable of achieving many things, they make each other feel confident about their potential and abilities. They talk a lot about each other with other people and tend to praise them behind their backs, which greatly improves their reputation.

🤎Cancer Saturn/Saturn in the 4th house can help you create a long-lasting relationship in which you support each other. It is very likely that you will have issues opening up and showing your emotions or even talking about your emotional needs, but you can have the patience to support the other person speaking, which can be a very practical way to build trust in yourself. They do not take each other for granted, because they know how difficult it is to trust and be vulnerable.

🤎Pluto in the 8th house tells us that both can change each other's lives at great levels. You will live many moments of epiphanies and realisations, many things that you thought were usual or normal, you will soon begin to see that they are not and they can help you change a lot for the better. This placement represents the union of two people who have experienced many difficult or tense things throughout their lives, who are willing to provide strength and support to the other to face any adversity. Likewise, they can be very drawn to others without being aware of why.

<- Go back to the masterlist

[psychotrenny]

I don't think "Fascist" is a very useful or accurate thing to call Caesar and his Legion (from Fallout: New Vegas) in the context of the game world itself. Like there are a lot of aesthetic similarities and basically all of their unironic real world fans are some sort of Nazi Nerd, but when talking about their place within the context of fictional post-nuclear Nevada it just doesn't work. Like Caesar's whole deal is that he's a Social Scientist who, living in a world that's been "blasted back to the Stone Age", figures that society must evolve through the same stages if it wants to properly return to modernity. The Legion is basically comprised of "Primitive Communists"* who've been forced into a Slave Society. His criticisms of the NCR boil down to them being a moribund remnant of/reversion to Old World Capitalism rather than something organically adapted to the post-Nuclear world. He repeatedly talks about how the Legion isn't meant to represent an ideal society but simply a stepping stone onto something better (the thesis that will clash with it's antithesis and evolve into a superior synthesis). His interactions with the Courier heavily imply that the Legion's Misogyny, Homophobia, Tech aversion etc. are much more tools of social organisation and control than values that Caesar personally holds. The Legion isn't just some band of mindlessly violent reactionaries but the product of very deliberate Social Engineering; a peculiarly post-nuclear sort of scientifically planned society

Now I'm not defending the Legion as a "good" choice or anything; Caesar's plan has a lot of problems, it's not hard to poke holes into and in terms of unadulterated cruelty The Legion is easily the most morally repugnant of the main factions. But the thing I really love about The Legion is how, within the specific context of Fallout's setting, it makes sense. Like once you really think about it you can understand why someone in Edward Sallow's position would arrive at these conclusions, and there are good reasons why (if you take your roleplaying seriously and don't treat the Player Character as an extension of yourself) someone living in this world might chose to side with him. The Legion may be terrible but it's not evil for the sake of evil; there's genuinely a compelling ideology behind it.

It's why I get sad when I see so many people dismiss them as the "dum dum fascist slavers" because there's so much more to them than that. Like I think the best part about The Legion is how ridiculous they first appear ("These raiders dress like Ben-Hur extras?????) but once you find out more about them then it all starts to click ("Oh I see their leader is trying to assimilate them into a distinct and alien culture in order to maintain their loyalty; severing their previous connections and giving them a whole new identity"). So it sucks to see so many people get caught up in the first part and never make enough connections to reach the second. Like in general, Fallout: New Vegas is very messy and flawed and yet it's full of all these interesting little nuances and I think that's worth appreciating it. It's why, time and time again, I keep walking down that dusty road

*in the very broad sense that Fallouts "Tribals" are meant to represent people who have reverted back to some sort of pre-state society; of course there are countless problems with how Fallout treats this matter (including but not limited to incredible amounts of racism) but in order to understand Caesar we're forced to meet the game on it's terms

[fictionismyreality3]

Before You Go (18+)

Warnings: romance and everything that come with it, SMUT AT THE END

Notes: thank u lana del rey for giving me this title 🫡 he’s so lana coded. we love our emotionally stunted bbg simon

Kisses with Simon weren’t always as easy as they had become over the years of you being together.

There was a time when Simon wouldn’t even let you touch anything but his hands or his arms. It took coaxing him like a scared animal, gentle words you offered again and again for him to finally take his balaclava off. That was a good night. You can still remember his shakiness, hands that had been so steady taking a life now quivering at the act of being known.

“Just fuckin’ hurry up.” He snapped, but the anger tasted more like fear when it left his mouth.

“You aren’t gonna want-”

The words of self-loathing barely met the air before you’d leaned down, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth. You held his hand as his breath heaved, not commenting on the way his whole body trembled when your lips finally connected with his.

Then there were kisses of maintenance.

At least, that’s what Ghost thought of them as. Keeping you as his slowly became the most important part of his life, the need to have you weaselled its way into his soul. He had no fucking clue how to how to make sure you stayed. He didn’t even really know why you showed up in the first place, but whatever gods that still thought he was worthy enough had given him you, and he wasn’t going to damage the opportunity.

You were his girl.

But Simon was oblivious to how to keep a woman happy. Yeah, he fucked you raw every chance he could, he beat the shit out of anyone you frowned at, but the gentleness you exuded existed nowhere in himself.

It was only when he’d been cleaning his guns, not on the kitchen table because you didn’t like that, that he got a little spark of understanding.

He had to take care of you.

Never letting you go without a reminder that he was always around. It started with morning and night kisses, making sure you were stuck with the taste of him even in your dreams. He’d find you when you were cooking, pressing his lips to your cheek or the top of your head without saying a word. It was nothing intense, just a subtle way that he made sure you were real.

“Si? You okay?” The weight of Ghost hugging you from behind made your heart warm, and you put down the wooden spoon you were holding.

“Yeah.” A kiss to your temple. “M’okay now.”

Marking you up with hickeys that even one of your oversized hoodies couldn’t cover was his way of maintaining your relationship, and knowing you had a visible memento of his claim on you every time you looked in the mirror helped him feel a little more secure.

And then there were the fervent kisses.

Lips colliding in the dim, warm light of your bedroom, Simon’s large hands holding your hips down as he kept you on his lap. He’d swallow every sound you made, knowing he had to leave in the morning. Not being able to see you for months, or even longer, spurred him with the urge to leave you with a lasting memory. He could have you forget him when he was gone.

It didn’t matter if you were tired, he’d force you down onto the bed, drawing mewls and gasps from your lips as he tried to memorize every detail of your body before he went off on his next mission. Latching his lips to the inside of your thighs, he’d suck hard enough to leave a hickey that would take weeks to fade.

“Not gonna leave ya.” He’d echo, kissing your clit like it would offer some form of protection for wherever he was being sent to.

“Gonna keep you all t’myself.” His soft lips would kiss at your even softer cunt, devouring every twitch and shudder that went through you. “Si. Si, I can’t-”

It didn’t matter if you’d been up all night, trapped under the weight of his hands while he ate you without faltering. “You can take it. C’mon, dovie, be a good girl an’ give me one more.” He wouldn’t stop until you were limp on the sheets and he was nose deep in your pussy, permanently engraving his name on your clit with his tongue.

And when he left in the morning, he left knowing your lips were sore.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Could I request Welt, Dan Heng, Sunday, Gepard, and Argenti finding their s/o's poetry collection of them?

Argenti:

Would sit himself down somewhere nearby and read every last poem, each one leaving him with a full heart, butterflies in his stomach and another addition to the list of reasons why he adored your creative soul.

He’s extremely honoured that you decided to chose him as your muse for your poems, for he could feel the love and respect you have for him through your writing, before holding the collections of poetry made in his name against his chest as he beamed with happiness.

He’d even openly praise you for your works if he were to see you later on in the day, which would make you understandably upset and embarrassed that he went through your things, but with the way that he passionately talked about your writing and the look upon his face that clearly shown his appreciation and admiration for poetry.

At the end you’re the one who ends up being flustered whilst Argenti was still sending appraisal after appraisal your way, all the while re-reading your works and proudly reciting his favourite passages without shame.

Sunday:

He thought it was sweet that you write poetry about him.

He didn’t feel as though he was invading your privacy at all, seeing as how he’d like to claim that whatever of yours was now also his by osmosis…totally not because he’s fishing for stuff to hold over you and maintain control should you act out…

Anyway- he’s taking his sweet time reading each and every poem you’ve written with him in mind and smiling at the hold he’s taken within your heart, finding it fascinating what adoration could make one do just to express their whole array of emotions.

It was almost as though they were on some timer that others couldn’t see just to express all their innermost feelings towards the special person in their life. Then again love tended to make people feel as though they were invincible, so the unthinkable and accomplish things that they never thought that they were capable of achieving in the first place.

So it didn’t matter whether or not you were able to wax poetry before him, but it was obvious to Sunday that the moment he had taken hold of your life and your every thought, poetry has became your primary outlet for feelings that you weren’t nearly brave enough to say aloud to him. Rest assured however for that day will come for you to open up about those unspoken feelings of yours…sooner or later.

Gepard:

He feels as though he was invading your privacy by reading your poetry collection and wanted to leave before he’d inevitably get caught, but just as he was about to take his leave, he stopped when the title of the first poem caught his eye;

Everlasting winter

He found himself reading through the first few opening sentences and immeditly made connections between himself and the person within your poem. To say it didn’t take long for Gepard to realises that the similarities between him and the person in your poem were purely intentional, and that he was the one the poem was actual about.

His face was blossoming red upon the realisation and averted his eyes elsewhere as he takes in the fact that you found him a perfect enough muse for your poetry. Him, the man who couldn’t hold a tune to save his life, grows flowers that unfortunately don’t last long, and wasn’t possessed with the basic skills of drawing.

And yet you found something about him that was worth writing poem after poem about. He didn’t know why that was but he was appreciative that you found something in him that urged you into written it down on paper, where your affection and admiration for him would be forever immortalised…He also may or may not have taken a poem to read to himself later on at night.

Dan heng:

He had noticed that you left a piece of paper laying about one day and was about to call out to you and give it back, while scolding you for leaving your messes everywhere for him to pick up after, only to see that it was in fact a poem about him.

Red faced, Dan Heng still planned on taking the poem back to you and journeyed to your room where he found that the door was left ajar, but could immeditly tell that your room was empty. Sighing, Dan Heng opened the door and quickly made his way towards your desk, where’d he found more poems in regards to him.

Much like Gepard, Dan Heng felt as though he was reading something he shouldn’t but he found himself unable to look away as he was secretly tempted to know how you viewed him. What he found was nothing short of you portraying him in a way that he’s never quite thought of himself before. If he wasn’t already so easily made flustered by your words alone, your writing was enough to put the poor man into a catatonic state.

Dan Heng wasn’t use to being smothered in a love like yours. Where you felt as though speaking your love for him wasn’t nearly enough, so you had to expand and start writing it instead in the form of poetry. He doesn’t feel as though he’s deserving of it but isn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth and is more then willing to try to accept the fact that you care deeply for him; especially when he can not find it within him to find anything about him remotely worth being with.

Welt:

He’s made copious amounts of drawings of you that he’s kept hidden in his room. So upon coming across your poetry collection about him, it only made him feel more comfortable knowing that he wasn’t the only one to express his innermost feelings through an art form.

Besides it wasn’t like he was actively searching your room for your poetry collection, he really wasn’t as he just came across them out of pure coincidence. He was currently about four poetries deep and was finding it extremely endearing how you viewed him in most of your writing: which was mainly as an well educated, wise man with a young man’s heart and restlessness sense for adventure, who had a talent for drawing.

Welt would chuckle under his breath at all the moments you’ve shared together, before you’d then went on to write about how beautiful he was in every possible way. From his sweet, insightful eyes that seemingly held all the knowledge you could ever ask for, to his calming, velvety voice that could lull you into a deep sleep within seconds.

You posed him as this figure of comfort, a figure of warmth and Welt soon finding himself not so subtly sneaking some of your poetry into his pocket to read for later. Your poetry only gives Welt the confidence he been looking for, as he would then starts to leave his drawings of you in places where you’d be able to see them; all in hopes that you would know that you had just as much of a huge place in his heart as he did in yours.

[ivesambrose]

PAC : September 2024 Mini Messages

1. 2. 3.

And we're almost in fall 🍁

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

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Picture 1

You'll be feeling the urge to socialize or reconnect with friends and loved ones this month. Likely even connect with new people that inspire you and reignite a spark within you. It seems like as you're headed for autumn you begin to experience your personal spring. There's a lot in your mind and heart and it's been repressed there for quite some time now because you haven't found the right means to express them or the people to express them to but this: shall change. I see you wanting to maintain more balance and diplomacy in your life this month instead of extremes. In a way you've told yourself, "Hey I've done enough push and pull, let me allow things to fall in place." A lot of you might focus on regulating your nervous system, some of you might be starting therapy or just being more attentive about your mental health. Some of you might collaborate or work with others especially if you're an artist or creator of any kind. I also see a select few coming out of hiding and gaining the confidence to put themselves out there. This month will also end on a joyful note for you. You'll also be pursuing something your heart feels really called to. You'll also feel cherished and cared for, this could be from a special someone or your friends and family or the community you're proud of. You'll feel a lot less alone, you never really were.

Picture 2

Leaving all that heartache behind. Bit by bit. Holding your life by the reigns by finding the courage within. There's no need to wait for anyone to help you through this, just begin. I know certain anguishes weigh rather heavily but it doesn't have to be a permanent resident there. A lot of you are planning on moving away from a present location that hasn't been bringing you peace you'l likely end up executing it before this year ends. Sometime around this month itself you'll find yourself feeling emotionally renewed. Opportunities coming up that you had been praying for since long but you feel nervous taking up because emotional fulfillment somehow feels scary to you. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Take the plunge because it'll lead to you feeling proud and successful of yourself. I also see a peak in finances or you saving up enough to afford something that makes you really happy. If you have pets you'll be spending more time with them or even consider adopting one. You'll start finding joy in the things you used to years back. Hold onto this feeling. For some reason the song, 'Innocence' by Avril Lavigne came through for this pile as well. If you resonate deeply with music, then this song definitely has a message for you.

Picture 3

A mental breakthrough. I see you being assertive and maybe even cut throat with your goals. I also see a lot of you disciplining your mind to the maximum. Correcting any negative thought and assumption. You'll also find yourself emerging victorious no matter what situation you're facing. There's a specific turn of events and fate for you. Fall overall is a significant time for this pile. I see you embracing joy diligently, making new friends and connections and making plans with your loved ones. You have chosen to let your inner child experience everything they have been forced to let go of. Do not dim your own light this month. You were meant to shine. You were meant to stand out. Some of you might also have a significant secret admirer as well. They see you as the break of dawn after a dark and solemn night and want to pretty much make you feel the same it seems. You'll find yourself wanting to relax more and allow things to come to you. Stressing and forcing on the other hand might lead to discord and feeling burnt out. It seems as though you had been fearing the worst but there has been a pleasant change of plans for you. You will be starting a new chapter in your life, you'll be rather stubborn about it too, brainstorming quite a bit, might encounter a few conflicts here and there but nothing good team work can't solve. This will eventually lead you to the version of you that you have in mind.

[moutainrusing]

sweeten up

First and foremost: Sirius was never serious. That was the glaringly obvious fact about him, even if his name was Sirius, he never took anything seriously. Of course, he could say he did anyway, for example, if someone were to ask:

“Are you serious?!”

Sirius could easily reply, hand clutching his pearls as he gasped, “Of course I’m Sirius! Are you trying to question my identity?!”

Really, he was always Sirius, and he was never serious.

To him, it always seemed like Remus was the most serious of all. It kind of annoyed him. Sure, they were friends. Remus was more James’s and Peter’s friend. Sirius didn’t feel like he and Remus connected. Because, first and foremost, Remus was too serious.

So serious, as if being a werewolf was the end of his life and if anyone found out he’d die, as if it were a secret he’d take to his grave, an oath he’d clutch to his chest. Remus spent his whole life studying, because he took grades as a stamp of approval that sealed the envelope of his fate, whether he’d get a job or end up homeless on the streets, maybe dead. To Remus, his only two options were being serious, or being dead. No in between. Sirius didn’t like that. Remus wouldn’t die. There were sides to him that were alive, animated, enthusiastic. Thrill-seeking. Sirius had seen them, flickers in the shadows beneath Remus’s eyes, shuttered out behind meaningless smiles, dancing across Remus’s face before his gaze became devoid of anything but forced calmness, mechanical motion. Remus went through life like a chore.

If that was what life was to Remus, maybe he was better off dead.

Sirius shouldn’t say things like that aloud. But he could think them. If someone wasn’t living, why would they bother existing? Remus made no impact, he was too cautious. Sirius needed him to do something. Act like his breathing was a blessing. Know his breathing was a blessing. It was. Remus had the power to be alive, and he was letting it die. With every one of his forced smiles, every time he gave something less than his all because he was scared of being too wild. Remus was already dying.

- - -

Okay, so maybe Sirius had lied. Sometimes, he did take things too seriously. For example, when his parents sent a letter along the lines of:

“You’re a disgrace and a failure and we’d be better off if you were dead. But as you are still legally considered our son here are some chocolate frogs. We love you. Unwillingly. It’s an obligation. Try not to get disowned. You could be useful. Try to prove yourself. Maintain the image that the Blacks are a loving family. Because we are, Sirius. We are.”

Letters such as above had Sirius slumping in his bed, not bothered to commit the laborious tasks of basic hygiene. They sliced the grin off his face with a smooth blade, replaced it with a sewn-smile that felt brittle and breakable, fraying at the seams. Sirius felt serious, as if every moment of his life mattered but he had made it count for nothing, misused and abused his time until it was frowning in the lines of his face, all his mistakes indented into his skin.

The thing was, they tried to love him. They did not really love him. They were therefore also failures.

In the bed across from him, Remus was curled into a book, also avoiding the trivial antics of James and Peter. Right now, Sirius and Remus were just too serious for child’s play like that. Sirius felt old, weather worn and beaten, as if he’d been battered by harsh winds and sprayed with mud, flung into bed by a tornado, sinking into his mattress like quicksand.

Remus glanced up from his book, meeting Sirius’s eye. He smiled slightly, not enough. Restraining himself. Sirius wanted to see all those crooked teeth. Stretched across Remus’s face in an inane grin. Sirius would like that.

Clearing his throat slightly, Remus reached into his bedside drawer, pulled out his own chocolate frog. From his own stash. Remus wasn’t rich. He chucked it at Sirius, tongue curling around the words, “Sweeten up.”

Sirius caught it, cradled in his hands. For some reason, it felt precious. He didn’t want to admit that. He didn’t want to thank Remus.

He felt called out, the audacity of Remus telling Sirius to sweeten up. Sirius was already sweet. He turned away from Remus, chocolate frog still held like a sacred offering.

When Sirius ate it, because eventually he scraped a little across his tooth, frog clutched between his fingers, the chocolate tasted sweeter than the ones his parents gave him. He was pretty sure they cast spells over any type of luxurious treat in order to reduce the fat and sugar levels, to make sure Sirius remained healthy; sweets can’t be too sweet.

Sirius fell asleep, and the sweetness clung to his tongue. When he woke up again, his mouth felt parched, and he actually got out of bed in order to drink water and brush his teeth. This was why sweets were good. Sirius glanced at Remus quickly. That was the way he said thank you. Subtle glances, the question why?

Why would Remus? Remus in all his seriousness. Remus, who was poor, presumably disliked Sirius for being his antithesis, who wasn’t obligated to help Sirius, to be kind to him. So why would he chuck Sirius a chocolate frog and notice him? Sirius was making a big deal out of nothing. It was just a chocolate frog. Sirius had never said thank you. His parents gave him chocolate frogs. Remus made them better. Why did Remus make them better? Remus in all his seriousness. Remus with his chocolate stash, the one for cheering people up, because he was serious about caring for people. Like a Healer at St. Mungos. Remus would be great with patients. He’d take everything they say to heart, look at them like they mattered, act like what he was doing was simply basic decency, as if it wasn’t worth something more than plain normalcy. Remus would be great with people. If he let himself.

If Remus were to sweeten up, lighten up, buoyancy in the heaviness on his shoulders, then he’d be a world-changer. Sirius just needed to peel him open, like the wrapper of a chocolate frog. Release him from his werewolf packaging, the one which he’d manufactured around himself, complete with the DO NOT TOUCH label, DANGEROUS SUBSTANCE. Remus wasn’t dangerous. Remus took himself too seriously. Really, the label he needed was REMUS LUPIN, who he was. Who he was, which was something Sirius wanted to open up, because Remus’s label was lying, false advertising. Remus was more than a werewolf, and it took a little chocolate frog for Sirius to know that.

What would it take for Remus to know that?

Sirius spat out his toothpaste, wiped his mouth, and when he left the bathroom, he steered towards Remus’s bed instead.

“Lumos,” Sirius cast. “Lighten up, Remus.”

The light shone over Remus’s pages, darkened in the evening light. “Straining is bad for your eyes,” Sirius hummed.

Remus looked at him, eyes glowing, shining, fiery amber crystals hidden in the depths of a dark cave, which Sirius would open up, push the rocks apart, find Remus buried within the fissure, fish him out, hook and line, and carry him, until Remus was shining in the daylight, rivalling the sun.

“Thank you,” Remus replied carefully, looking at Sirius curiously.

Sirius didn’t like it. “C’mon,” he grabbed Remus’s hand. “Let’s find James and Peter.”

“I—”

Sirius squeezed the hand he was holding, as gently as he could, with all the sweetness he could muster, the way a heart would squeeze in the chest when it was overflowing with emotion until it hurt. That was the way Sirius squeezed Remus’s hand. “Sweeten up,” he repeated, pulling Remus out of the dorm.

[lilacxquartz]

TO SAVE A BROKEN SOUL • suguru geto cursed spirit fem!reader

ao3 • masterlist • mdni < previous chapter • next chapter >

summary: fighting with his own feelings and in an attempt to save face, suguru battles between letting you go or absorbing you into his collection.

warnings: disturbing thoughts, referenced non-con

Chapter 5: Concealment

An unwelcome visitor greeted Suguru right at his doorstep, seemingly a recent follower who was still new, barely settled into his growing found family. The man was still new to the ways of life here, but Suguru tended to accept sorcerers as they came, as long as they clearly understood his ideology.

Continuing to play into his relaxed and calm persona, he went ahead and gave the man the light of day. Given the slight look of disgust that the follower wore however, it was nightly likely that the man had likely seen something that he shouldn’t have.

Suguru couldn’t help it in that split second, his demeanour crumbling away at an instant.

He had to get rid of him before he talked.

At the verge of just barely maintaining his crumbling facade, he smiled at the man, telling him that he simply wanted to show him something special to really get him integrated into the family.

The guy, who he didn’t even know the name of yet properly, followed him with a sense of trust all the while Suguru’s face couldn’t help but darken. As he led him off into a lesser treaded area, he subtly channeled one of his curses, intending to silence the man before he had a chance to speak about something he shouldn’t.

Making up an excuse was easy enough for Suguru. The guy was new, came alone and didn’t quite know anybody too well just yet. He would cast him off as a traitor, when all he had done was quietly give a hint that he might have seen something he shouldn’t have.

Correct, Suguru didn’t even know if this guy knew.

(But a risk was a risk.)

It was only when he returned back to the canteen to reunite with Nanako that he realised that he hadn’t completely washed the blood of his hands just yet, but luckily, his daughters knew better than to ask questions about matters that didn’t concern them.

“Where’s your sister?” he asked Nanako, watching as she did something on her phone, wondering why Mimiko wasn’t with her. Those girls were always connected at each other's side like glue.

“Getting breakfast,” she casually replied, “they made pancakes today.”

“Pancakes, huh?” Suguru spoke, his gaze softening at long last. The air outside was cold, his wound still feeling sensitive from where you bit him. Luckily his robes covered the evidence, but the pain was still quite strong.

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“And why aren’t you there, getting pancakes with her?” he asked in an endearing tone.

“I had something else, but I gave her my portion,” she said before lowering her hand, finally pulling the phone away from her face, “…when can we come home?”

Suguru tilted his head off to the side, understanding fully well why they both wanted to come back. It didn’t matter how comfortable the other house was; it didn’t feel right to be separated. This sort of thought only seemed to fuel his conflicting thoughts further, daring him to think about something that he didn’t even want to entertain.

“Soon,” he assured, albeit in an unconvincing tone. He smiled at her, walking her back to the dining area and sitting himself down next to Mimiko who looked a little too happy about all of those pancakes.

He pulled up a plate of something different and tried to distract himself, despite his mind still going crazy with ideas. He wondered if he should just utilise you like the rest of the spirits and maybe absorb you, because then you couldn’t stir trouble from just existing.

He didn’t want to release you back outside though, even though that had been on his mind too. There was something uncomfortable about the thought of you just freely roaming the forest, doing who knows what and where. Instead, he wanted to contain you—to keep you—to never let you go and yet he couldn’t do either, at least not in a way that worked in both of your favours.

Returning back to the thought prior, he however felt his stomach churn at the thought of exorcising you. He didn’t like that idea at all and could barely imagine it; the idea of not only killing you, but packing your soul into a compressed form and then swallowing the core of your very essence.

It disgusted him.

“I’ll be… back later,” he said, looking visibly troubled. Suguru tried to hide such feelings away from the watching eyes of everyone, ruffling the girls hair with a weak smile. “I’ll be back later and then I’ll do something nice with you tomorrow. I promise.”

The sisters nodded, full from their plates and watched him leave in silence as his mind continued to churn, as his instincts continued to pull and prod at him, challenging him, maybe even begging—daring him—to take you in, to possess you in the most brutal form.

Maybe absorption was the answer.

Oh, how he longed to have you in such a forbidden way.

In a way that challenged the grounds of your very existence.

In a way you couldn’t even begin to understand.

~~~

Yet, just as he committed himself to the very thought, his demeanour faltered from the very second he locked eyes with you. That’s when he found himself staring at something that resembled a human again and all of a sudden, he found himself feeling lost again.

Stopping himself from doing anything he was sure to regret, he balled his hands into fists that turned almost ached from such strained anger—how dare you look so afraid, so vulnerable—so much like somebody that he could possibly even love(?).

Not that much time had passed at all and yet it felt like something so painfully right.

Why did it have to be you though?

Someone who didn’t even reciprocate a single thing back? Someone who didn’t even cry after he hurt them? You were barely human and yet…

“Stop making this… more difficult than it has to be,” he gritted through his teeth, doing his best to avoid your gaze.

You however wanted to live too, though. That’s why you were reacting the way that you did. Regardless of whatever lifeform you were, self preservation and instinct would always attempt to override any sort of logic.

And just as he tried to talk himself into committing to the part yet again, he once again stopped. He wasn’t able to do it at all, unable to kill you because of a lust that swarmed over him like a disease; eating away at his mind as he lost himself in wanting you, craving you, in—

…Wait, what was he doing?

He pulled back slightly, casting his gaze over your confined form. Your front side was facing the wall with your clothes piling up to rest just above your hips again. His cock was hard, driven into your sex, realising that he was already right in the process of taking something from you yet again.

Suguru gritted his teeth as he bruised his hips against your ass, his skin slapping what was effectively stone as he succumbed to an almost otherworldly desire. He hated himself for doing this, for wanting to hurt you, for wanting to even kill you—but he also hated you all the same—for letting him go that far, this far, for not even trying to stop him.

Something wet dripped over your neck, droplets of something that smelled like salt rolling down your body. Tears? Hushed whispers could be heard as grunted cries soon followed—feverish growls escaping his lips as he wept into you—the malleable clay that he sought to ruin, that he longed to redesign now manifested as a deep sadness as he cried into your skin, painting you with his own regret.

Suguru finished into you yet another time, shuddering as he thrust another powerful rut yet again.

He melted against you, still crying into your neck.

If cursed spirits were a mirror to human negativity, then what could that have possibly made you with him and him with you…?

Pulling himself out with bloodshot red eyes still blurring his vision, he presented you with his other arm, pressing it against your lips and almost demanding that you feed on him—silently begging for you to punish him for having such thoughts—for almost doing the unthinkable, because what was he doing, when he sought to obliterate you from an existence you didn’t ask to be born into?

Suguru wept as you gave in again, shuddering as he let you suckle on his wounded flesh, like scarlet ink dampening an organic canvas, marble mixing with paper; two works of art from different mediums that collided against each other through divine will.

His blood continued to spill as you fed, staining the once white bed into vivid red, soon settling maroon.

Tears spilled from his eyes again without a single stop as his body quietly settled into yours, his demeanour seeming a little softer this time.

Suguru stared at you as you finished up and pulled his arm away from you, seeming kinder and almost even… broken.

Now all that was left was to figure out what to actually do, because nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

~~~

this is part 2 of lilac’s bite sized jjk yandere nightmares

[phantomfallacy]

There’s not nearly enough analyses of Wriothesley and the panopticon that is Meropide.

Like, sure, the connection is there, but are your lines connecting to the right points? Because if you think Wriothesley’s office is the control tower and the Fortress is his all-knowing domain, I think you’re wrong.

Spoilers for his character quest and the Meropide world quest ahead, as well as various tidbits in mini quests:

The Unfinished Comedy reveals that there is a child who had been born in the prison, more or less a decade ago. More than enough time for Wriothesley to “discover” her. But he doesn’t. He is, without a doubt, an advocator of children, and would never allow her to stay in prison if he can help it. No matter what excuse there is, such as being busy with the reformation of the prison, the Fatui invasion, or the Wingalet construction, it doesn’t negate the fact that Wriothesley doesn’t know, or he would’ve acted.

The Beret Society as well, while coming under Wriothesley’s purview, has existed long enough to brainwash and break the spirits of the people who have joined. He had no evidence that Dougier had been breaking rules and infringing on human rights.

So no, Wriothesley, contrary to the Fortress of Meropide description, does not know everything that goes on in the Fortress, and he tells us so.

So then why does the description say otherwise?

The concept of the panopticon is that a single prison warden can maintain order because people will never be able to tell if his eyes are on them. As a result, they will behave, regardless of whether the warden is truly watching or not. Wriothesley tells us that he doesn’t have eyes and ears everywhere because we are not a prisoner. We do not need to be intimidated into behaving. Moreover, the Traveler seems to be an exception to everything like a harem protagonist so let’s discount “our” knowledge of Wriothesley’s claim.

What I think slaps the most though, is that his panopticon isn’t just the Fortress, but the Court of Fontaine as well.

It is mentioned that Wriothesley knows the ongoings of the overworld despite rarely coming up. The citizens of Fontaine see Meropide as this horrible place, even after Wriothesley’s reforms, and it’s not only because of prejudice (though that is most certainly the case), but because of his refusal to be perceived. He refuses Charlotte’s interviews, though being a Duke would most certainly put him in the eye of the public. This is a tentative maintenance of his public persona: that of a cruel and unfathomable man.

“The less people see of me, the happier they will be.”

If people understood that Meropide had welfare meals, stable work hours, and relatively accessible healthcare, why would they be incentivized to follow the law? Especially those of Fleuvre Cendre. But Meropide cannot possibly be that kind of haven. It is a prison, and forever should be—because it is not sustainable.

What humans cannot understand, they fear, and that works to keep the rest of Fontaine in check from committing crimes. No one wants to go to prison, no one wants to suffer, no one wants to see the Duke of Meropide. It’s embedded into the very society, so much that they have pop culture-like phrases for it.

The Duke’s office isn’t the control tower. The whole of Meropide Fortress is, and Fontaine is the “prison.”

There are other interpretations of course, such as the factor of more recent commentary on panopticons and how they bring up the topic of holding those in absolute power accountable. The warden at the center of the panopticon has absolute power, but how is he to be kept accountable?

It could be a hint about how Wriothesley isn’t as in control as he presents himself, and the way he rules is dependent on the people who keep him in check. After all, he says that as Duke, he must set an example of persecuting only after evidence has been found of a wrongdoing, otherwise he could have simply killed Dougier. However, that would certainly bring the Fortress down around him as people questioned his reputation as a fair ruler. (Cough bringing back my sword of Damocles bullshit here//shot).

Alternatively, Wriothesley himself could be a sword of Damocles upon Fontaine, evidenced by Neuvillette’s story quest, but I feel like that would be a Wriolette thread…

Without the source material confirming anything, we’re just playing with Schrödinger’s cat though. Just some food for thought.

Next time on Dragon Ball Z: my TED Talk on why the Fortress of Meropide is not called the Fortress of Atlantis because Wriothesley presents it as communism but it is totalitarian and why that works— (Kidding, I don’t wanna touch this with a ten foot pole pls don’t respond with political philosophies I will perish 🫠🫠🫠😵)

[fictioonbanger]

plug connnie with a secret [not so] breeding kink !

warnings; breeding, smut, mention of pregnancy and birth, pet names/mama, precious, beautiful etc.

plug!connie who’s heart beats faster at the sight of you catering to a young child. the way they would be visibly upset before you came along to sooth and help them out. the way they cling to you after because of how sweet you were to them. connie just couldn’t get enough of the sight, especially when he’d bring you around his younger cousins and nieces and nephews. they absolutely adored you, anytime connie was around without they’d beg him to get you or at least call you if you were too busy. connie wouldn’t technically call it a “breeding kink” but he wouldn’t necessarily say no if anyone asked if he had one. he just fawned and daydreamed of the thought of you walking around full of his baby. the baby you both made together that you were growing, he needed it deeply.

plug!connie who wouldn’t mind having a kid or two himself, just not now of course. he was into much shit and it was one already having you while he’s in the mix of stuff. he couldn’t imagine bringing a child into both your lives while unprepared. sometimes connie thinks he could do it though, start a family with you. pamper you and keep you safe while you carried y’all’s beautiful baby. he swore sometimes he was ready for it, and you’d laugh it off and agree. of course connie would have another deep thinking into it and never bring it up again. you honestly couldn’t care though, it was up to connie from your position. you wouldn’t mind having his baby of course, even now or later. connie just wanted the best for you both so you listened to him and he listened to you. Occasionally both your families would bring it up only to be dismissed with a laugh and “it’s a little early still.” which was the answer you both gave since it was the truth.

plug!connie who says it’s “too early” but fucks you like he wants you pregnant now. balls deep into you while in missionary, holding your hand and breathing over your body. he was slowly thrusting into you making sure you were full of his cum. “nnf- fuck! connie your t-too deep!” you clawed at his chest and looked up at him with wet lashes. connie loved seeing you like this, fitting him and taking his cum babbling over his dick. “you look so pretty baby.. g-nna fill u up. real good yeah?” connie spoke through pants and grunts trying to maintain his eyes on your body. looking down at where y’all were connected didn’t help that he wasn’t trying to cum fast, the sight was a beauty. he whimpered seeing it and buckled his hips faster, it’s like it turned something in him on. he was gripping at the pillow on the side of you and starring into your lazy half lidded eyes. “i- wanna make you a mama y/n..have you full of my babies.” he whimpered out in your ear as his hips sped up faster, you nodded and wrapped your legs around his waist. wrapping you arms around his neck and pulling him into a affection hug. this only made him deeper inside of you and made you a moaning mess, connie loved when you used him for your own pleasure. he really just wanted to make you happy.

plug!connie who fucked you so good that night it wasn’t no way you weren’t pregnant. he had you overstimulated under him and he was himself. connie kept himself all pent up just for this moment to fuck it into you. “cum in..p-please.” you babbled out to connie and it only made him snap his hips at the sound of your whining. “whatever y-you want baby, don’t whine. fill you up real good.” expect connie did want you to whine for him. connie loved when you whined, it didn’t matter if you did or not you could always get your way with him. he gave a full deep thrust and ropes of cum shot inside of you. “f-fuck.” connie mumbled out as he slowly thrusted his cum into you, making sure it didn’t spill out one bit. you came with him clenching down and making a bigger mess under you both. this just made connie want to clean you up more. falling to his knees and starting already on your clit again, pushing both your cum back inside you with his index and middle finger. he placed soft wet kisses on your thighs as he worked on your clit. connie knew you were gonna end up pregnant the way he fucked you full, and you knew it too. even then when you took the test and the two red lines stood it startled you a bit, more than you connie was jumping with joy. picking you up off the floor and swinging you around placing kisses on your face. he really couldn’t wait for the family with you and would put anything aside to do it. which is what he did right after he came in you anyway, telling his dealer he’d b on the low for awhile because he had real business to handle. of course he wouldn’t tell anyone about his newly pregnant (soon to be) wife.

plug!connie who was excited and giddy to tell all friends and family about your growing baby. them all having the same loving reaction, especially when they all found out it would be a boy. you knew it was a great choice with connie, he took everyday for 9 months to prepare for the moment you’d birth you guys baby. connie couldn’t keep his hands off you before of course but when you had gotten rounder he was on you 24/7. rubbing and cupping your belly for you when the weight got too much and exhausting. rubbing your feet and massaging you at any given time of day, even in public. he talked to your baby almost every night and it not every then a kiss at most. connie’s cousins and nieces and nephews couldn’t stay away from you either. giddy themselves hearing you were having a baby they were by your side whenever. connie who stood in the emergency room right next to your bed as you were going into labor. he rubbed at your cheeks and reassured you constantly throughout the whole way. “you’re doing so well precious, our baby boy ‘smost here mama” he rubbed at the side of your face leaning so you could touch as you pushed. connie who was dumbfounded when he was asked if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. hurriedly with a nodding yes and clip of scissors connie’s whole word changed, it was so much all to process but he loved every moment and so did you. the sight seeing his eyes light up at the glimpse of your newborn baby. his precious face when he held him and watched as he coo’d and cried. quickly turning his attention towards you to make sure you were okay and bringing the baby to your chest. you held him and almost died at the sight of how tiny he was, your baby fever was definitely still rushing and now that you had a mini you and connie things would be different.

[myreygn]

do you ever think about how sanemi's animosity towards tanjiro makes so much sense from a narrative perspective because tanjiro is literally everything sanemi isn't?

both of them lose their fathers at a very young age, only that sanemi's father was a horrible abusive jerk who inflicted severe trauma upon his entire family while tanjiro's father was the coolest guy around whose lessons continue to motivate tanjiro and impact his life in a positive way.

both of them have to deal with a beloved family member turning into a demon, only that sanemi ends up killing his mother and has to come to terms with the fact that although she became a monster he still killed his mother while tanjiro manages to guide his sister through her monstrosity and finds ways to help her keep her humanity in tact.

both of them lose their families with only one younger sibling remaining, only that sanemi and genya get separated and estranged while tanjiro and nezuko never lose their close relationship.

[spoilers below the cut]

both of them have to deal with their younger sibling being a demon (one way or the other), only that sanemi's hatred towards demons as a whole makes it impossible for him to look at genya the same way while tanjiro loves his sister all the same, no matter if she's demon or human.

both of them try to protect their younger siblings from danger, only that sanemi can't think of anything but straight up abuse to try and push genya away which remains unsuccessful while tanjiro and nezuko work together well during fights and tanjiro still manages to keep her safe.

both of them fight with the goal to keep their siblings alive, only that genya dies and leaves sanemi with a ton of guilt and regret while tanjiro and nezuko get their happy ending.

both of them are thrown into the conflict between demons and humans out of nowhere, only that sanemi spends a considerable amount of time on his own, killing demons without any assistance while tanjiro gets sent off with a hashira recommendation letter to urokodaki's where he receives a proper training and finds a new home and family.

both of them find companions along the way and form meaningful relationships with them, only that masachika dies young with sanemi being unable to protect him while tanjiro, zenitsu and inosuke stay together through everything and manage to survive even the final battle.

and a lot of this is meta knowledge, a lot of this is information that sanemi doesn't have about tanjiro. but he does have some of it and i think it's enough knowledge for me to put up this theory: sanemi envies tanjiro. because both of them went through unspeakable trauma and grief, both of them lost people close to them, both of them had to deal with similar situations.

and yet tanjiro is kind. he's friendly and good, people trust him, people love to befriend him and he inspires them wherever he goes while sanemi is bitter and nasty and simply incapable of forming and maintaining these connections in the way tanjiro is because who'd want to be friends with a cruel jerk right? and tanjiro loves to take lonely people under his wing, but not even he is willing to forgive sanemi for most of the story and i can only imagine how that must sting because no one wants to be lonely and yet sanemi can't even blame him. he wouldn't forgive himself either.

[velvetreds]

Could i get a 🦑 💗 🍄 short fic with kunigami pretty please 🛐

Congratulations on the 200 followers tho like you deserved that sm i eat up EVERYTHING you post you’re so goated 🫶

tysm!! UR goated for saying that thank u again!! im not sure if kunigami was as kunigami as possible BUT here u go !!

anything — rensuke kunigami x gn!reader

wc: 814 | event

cws: angst, hurt/comfort, soulmate au, gn!reader

DIVIDERS BY @/CAFEKITSUNE

rensuke kunigami once believed in soulmates. it was back before he entered the blue lock program, when he'd still had a positive outlook on life, a sense of self. when everything hadn't been warped by the wild card training.

but kunigami does not believe in soulmates now, as he stares down at you, outside the coffee shop, as you visually trace the red string from your hand, to his.

"we're... soulmates," you utter, stupefied. there is a sort of wonder in your eyes, one that reminds him of himself, from what feels like aeons ago.

he stares you down, expressionless. "i don't believe in those. can you move, i gotta go."

"c'mon," you whine, drawing out he word. it's not fair. you've waited for this all your life just for your soulmate to not want to be your soulmate. that day, you leave with his number.

he's gruff, standoffish, never quite rude, but it's almost obvious that you're not wanted. you stay persistent, meeting him every now and then. he's not sure when you become such an important part of his life, and he's not sure when he begins to look forward to seeing you again either — not that he shows it, of course.

and the same way he tells you nothing of how he feels, you stay silent too. you don't tell him how your confidence breaks down each time, and how you're slowly losing hope. it gets to the point where one day, you realise you can't maintain this seemingly one-sided relationship anymore.

"i can't do this anymore," you tell him sadly, and for the first time in the entirety of the time you've known him, kunigami shows some semblance of emotion. his brows lift up in surprise, eyes widened. "what? do what anymore?"

"this— me trying to maintain any sort of relationship with you, when you don't even care!"

"but i do care!" he responds, confused.

"what?" now you're confused.

the depth of the situation has finally started to sink in for him. you're leaving. and you have every right to, because he's been a shitty soulmate, and a shitty person in general. what does he do? what does he say?

"i—"

you're backing away.

"i can't lose you," he says.

communication is a weird thing.

"let's talk," he pleads. "just one time, let me try to fix it. just once, y/n, please."

the first two words are enough to make you relent; the rest of them just lessen any regret you're feeling for having done so. for the first time, he talks — really talks — to you. for the first time, he holds your hand.

the two of you sit at a bench, and you note that today he's sat closer to you than ever before, shoulder-to-shoulder. even now, his warmth comforts you, and you have to consciously restrain yourself from leaning into him.

"y/n," he says, breaking the silence. "i think, no, i don't know. i, i'm sorry, i've been horrible."

"you have," you agree, and he squeezes your hand.

"i care about you. a lot."

"well, that definitely showed," you say sarcastically, but your hand stays in his. it's comfortable like that. he moves your connected hands onto his laptop, shifting uncomfortably.

"i'm not... good at any of this. i don't know when you started to matter, y/n."

"what do you mean, matter?" something like anger sparks within you.

"i'd stopped believing in soulmates by the time we met," he explains. "but somewhere along the way, oh, i don't know, i'm in love with you."

your anger dissipates immediately as you spring away from him, staring up with the same expression as the one that'd been on your face when he first saw you. he presses his lips to your knuckles reverently, before both his hands coming up to cup your face tenderly. he's not trying to kiss you or anything, he just wants to make you understand.

"i still don't believe in soulmates," he says. "but i believe in you, and i want you to believe in us. i'll spend the rest of my life trying, if you'll let me."

you love his hands. you love his face. you love the way he holds you, so gentle, with hands that could probably kill, if he wanted. you hear a hushed whisper of your name, a plea for you to answer.

"i— i don't know, rensuke."

"i know i fucked it up, please, i'll do anything, just can't lose you."

maybe it's some sort of link between soulmates. maybe it's the slight tremor in his voice, or the way that you have come to know him, not through and through, but enough to know when he's being genuine. maybe it's a combination of all three.

your expression softens, a sly smile creeping onto your face. "anything?"

he perks up immediately, eyes widening. "anything."

"kiss me, stupid."

thank u for reading n following!

love,

hyena

[deancasbigbang]

Title: twin flame bruise

Author: stayawake

Artist: NeverSleepUntilFive

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Present: Sam/Eileen, Bobby/Ellen, Layla/David, Donna/Doug Past: John/Mary, Ellen/Bill, Dean/Cassie, Dean/Lisa, Cas/Balthazar, Bobby/Karen Mentioned: Chuck/Naomi, Jess/Other, Brady/Ruby

Length: 55000

Warnings: None

Tags: Soulmate AU, Friends to Lovers, Poet!Cas, Bartender!Cas, Bartender!Dean, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - No Supernatural Elements

Posting Date: October 28, 2024

Summary: All Dean wants is a happily ever after with his soulmate. He meets Cas, an aspiring poet who ran away from his life as a law school student. Dean feels an instant connection with the guy despite the fact that they aren't soulmates. It's fine. They can maintain a friendship while Dean continues the hunt for his soulmate. Absolutely no flaws in that plan whatsoever.

Excerpt: “Who’s the dude behind the bar?”   Jo glances over her shoulder and then back at Dean. “New bartender. Castiel. He’s nice, but I don’t think he’s ever worked in a bar before.”   “Castiel?”   Jo just shrugs, walking over to the bar. Dean follows her and stops in his tracks when Castiel looks up at them. Dean’s drowning in a world of blue and he never wants to come up for air again. It’s not the first time Dean’s looked at someone and thought this could be my soulmate, but it is the first time Dean prays he’s right.   “Castiel, this is Dean,” Jo gestures to him. “He’ll be the one training you tonight.”   “Just Cas is fine.”   “It’s nice to meet you, man,” Dean says, holding out a hand.   A handshake may be a strange form of greeting between two bartenders, but Dean’s just looking for an excuse to touch this guy. He can picture it so easily, their hands meeting, and each other’s names appearing on their skin. It would be right, it would be perfect, and then one day they can tell their children the story about meeting in a bar.   Dean’s heard plenty of soulmate meeting stories and knows that the mark will appear on their left ring fingers within a few moments of the first touch, so it’s disappointing when he pulls his hand away and notes his skin is still blank.   He tries to hide his disappointment. Looks like this Cas guy isn’t his soulmate after all. Dean tells himself he’s fine with that, no matter how handsome this guy is.   He slips into bartender mode, dedicates downtime between customers to show Cas the ropes and narrates what he’s doing whenever he makes a drink. Cas stands back, quiet for the most part as he watches Dean. Dean isn’t a stranger when it comes to training new employees, but he finds himself continuously distracted because he just wants to keep looking at Cas. Something about the guy makes Dean want to never look away. Too bad they're not soulmates. He has a feeling he could spend a lifetime looking at the guy and it still wouldn't be enough.

DCBB 2024 Posting Schedule

[zenkindoflove]

So I wrote this post about Lucien deserving Elain in a fit of anger. And now I'm back with more anger because guess what guys.

Elain ALSO deserves Lucien.

I see it all the time. "Lucien deserves someone who actually likes him." Followed by bashing Elain as if she is the worst person ever and doesn't deserve love.

Please stop pretending like you're making this argument because you care about Lucien. Lucien deserves his soulmate. He deserves to have that HEA with the one person who he has a soul to soul connection with. Don't throw side characters and randos at him that do not make sense at all to his narrative or how SJM had canonized how mating bonds work. Do you honestly think Lucien is going to care that some other female wants him???? Do you even get that Lucien can easily get any female in Prythian and has gotten many of them but none of them really mattered to him the way Elain matters to him.

Listen to his words. He tells everyone he's a mated male now for a reason. He is loyal to Elain regardless of whether she is showing him desire.

Elain is a GOOD person. Just like Lucien. She is kind and thoughtful. Careful and empathetic. Strong and resilient. Elain loves with her whole heart. She loved her father when no one else could see as worthy. Not even her sisters. She loved Graysen faithfully even if he was a scumbag who didn't deserve her devotion. So, I think Elain knows what it means to love, and she is not ready to give away her heart so fast again. Especially not to someone who can see all of her.

Yes, it's hard that she isn't ready to love Lucien yet. But girl has been THROUGH it. She has been struggling with a loss of her autonomy, her future, and her identity. And all of that with the pressure of a soulmate who is a stranger. None of you can say you'd handle it perfectly either.

And guess what. Lucien, my brave and soulful man, understands that. He is the only one who acknowledged when Elain was severely depressed in ACOWAR that she suffered a trauma. He is the only one that gives her space rather than pushing his opinions or desires of what he wants her to be onto her. He knows she isn't ready. And he's waiting. Giving her space but also being present enough so she knows he is there when she is ready to get to know him. That is all he has wanted.

Jumping to the assumption that Elain "doesn't even like him" is bold. You don't know Elain's thoughts. You don't know how she really feels about Lucien as a person. We have some inklings about what she thought about the bond right after her terrible breakup that she was still mourning. We know that before Lucien left on a dangerous mission, she took a half step as if to stop him. We know that she has shown genuine care over whether he's hurt. And we know that she feels the connection to him (I can hear your heart beating through the stone) and that is never going away. We know that Elain is affected by Lucien and it's not a leap to think that she feels as drawn to him as he is to her, she just has to be ready. And maybe Elain can tell Lucien is a good male who she doesn't want to inflict her messiness on just yet. Maybe she knows to jump in too fast wouldn't be fair to him either.

So many denigrate Elain and say she is boring, selfish, or mean all because she is struggling through a tough time in her life. And even in that struggle, she still maintains her kindness. She still searches for hope. She still wants to better herself. Which sounds a lot like that mate of hers. And when she is ready to fall in love again, she will get exactly the man that she deserves. Lucien Vanserra. Because Elain deserves the unconditional love that he has to offer. Finally someone will return it back to her.

[xjulixred45x]

I saw your request were open can I please request a female douma in jjk.

For getou and gojo please her and gojo having the beautiful eyes and cocky attitude and douma and getou and her both owing a cult this idea is living rent free in my head.

Oh lalala~ this is interesting! I'm in!

SatoSugu x Douma Like-Reader

Genre: headcanons

Reader: Female

Warnings: The reader has the past and attitude of Douma from KNY, that is, she has difficulty understanding and expressing emotions. apart from a shady past and is worshiped by a cult. she has rainbow eyes and gray hair, if a reader with a specific appearance bothers you, don't read this. CULTS AND WHAT THEY CONVINCE, The reader and Gojo share a neuron, and they are horrible with their emotions, I think that's all.

Since you were born, you have been the center of attention in your family.

You were born with eyes of all the colors of the rainbow and gray hair. Your family was amazed by this.

Thanks to this, your family believed that they had been blessed by the gods, that YOU had been blessed by the gods and that you could communicate with them, so they started a cult in your name to be able to worship the idea they had of you.

You, being a small and innocent girl, did not understand any of this, but you acted how they wanted you to act to make them happy. You believed that if they were happy, you were happy, right? but you never really understood very well how emotions worked. They never explained it to you or bothered to tell you anything about it.

It was somewhat frustrating but you resigned yourself quickly. You had to maintain the role you had been assigned after all. keep your hope.

but there really wasn't any, you were never able to communicate with the gods…. there really was nothing to have faith in.

but these people were in denial, and would not allow you to give up your position.

Everything got worse when your parents died, your mother murdered your father…and then committed suicide.

you found their corpses.

but the worst of all was that you didn't know how to process the loss of your parents. how you didn't even know how to process your own emotions.

You just thought about how unpleasant the smell of blood was and you replayed the scene over and over in your head.

all while you didn't change your facial expression. smiling, the one that people wanted to see in you, a supposed "saint"

So you adapted that mentality to your daily life, no matter how many lies you have to tell, no matter how many people get hurt because of this--

As long as the believers were happy, maybe one day you would be too. some day…

Until then, Keep smilling, keep make them happy, keep faken up your emotion, maybe if you fake it enough, you will feel something more than this inmense Void.

but at least all this had its good side, you developed your own damn ice technique!

It was powerful enough that the people in charge of you decided that you needed help in managing it.

that's how you ended up at Jujustu Tech.

That's how you met them…

When you first arrived at Jujustu Tech, you attracted a lot of attention. not only because of your carefree attitude but, obviously, because of your appearance. You were fine with that, you were used to it.

but when Geto and Gojo saw you for the first time when they introduced you to their group…WOW they were silent. which was weird in itself.

Gojo, being Gojo, and well recovered from the shock, went up to you and asked if you had contact lenses, even if he could see that you didn't, he HAD to make sure you didn't.

Geto obviously scolded him and apologized on his behalf for his rude comment. But he didn't miss the opportunity to say how beautiful your eyes were.

With these first impressions you could get an idea of ​​what they were like. And honestly? You became friends very quickly.

To be honest, growing up adored by your cult and having a pretty powerful ability, you ended up being quite arrogant, well-meaning, but cocky.

Thanks to this, Gojo was able to connect with you quite quickly, at first with the intention of destroying that ego you had, but it always ended badly in one way or another.

For example, trying to outdo yourself in physical combat seeing that you depended a lot on your ability with ice, it's a piece of cake with his Infinity, right? well…

Both Gojo and Geto made the same mistake when facing you for the first time, UNDERESTIMATING YOU based on your seemingly silly personality.

You turned out to be more skilled than he thought, which cost him almost blinding him when you realized how special his eyes were. Something similar happened with Geto, he wanted to know more in depth about your abilities, but above all, to know if your eyes, similar to Satoru's, had any unusual abilities.

only to have his ass kicked for being distracted by them…

They could respect you from the beginning, they could see that there was something more than a smiling mask in you. a great power.

Although the more they got to know you, the more things came to light and the more they understood you.

You and Gojo could understand each other on the level of having people expect too much of you, things that are not yours and even putting you on a pedestal for that (in your case very literally). Gojo found the whole cult thing very shady when you told them both, but he also found it shady that you didn't understand how that was WRONG.

Geto was the same(at the start), you and he understood each other more on the side of having abilities (in your case appearance) that although "helps people" rather condemns them to a pretty miserable life.

Thanks to this he opened up to you when he was in spiral, he felt that if anyone would understand him, it would be you.

In case we follow the canonical route, you tend to show two faces with each of them, both authentic and part of you, but distant from each other.

With Geto, you show your most morally perverse side, enjoying for the first time your position in the cult, the power you have over the lives of those people, realizing that YOU ARE the one in control.

You and Geto united the cutls, becoming even more powerful and influential, Geto is a loving couple, I'm not going to lie. He continues to pamper you as much as you want, whether physically, materially or emotionally.

The family respects you a lot, not only because of your power, but because they see you as an equal to Geto, the legitimate queen of the new world for sorcerers.

Geto doesn't really agree with watching you fight, and since you yourself are a little lazy to do it, he leaves the part of interacting with the believers to be your strong point.

Despite everything, being with Geto in this case has its disadvantages, and that is that he does not let you get down from that position of power and believe that the rest are better, apart from the fact that he encourages your harmful behavior towards others (that is, he does not let you mature )

Although don't misunderstand me, he will do everything possible to help you understand and experience the emotions that you have been depriving yourself of.

and when you go with Gojo (he and Gojo "divide custody" in this case) you do a 180 degree turn. You show your most happy and carefree side.

With Gojo you feel like there is nothing to worry about, you like that, he is quite relaxed himself.

Similarly to Geto, he spoils you a lot and is a great cuddler. He LOVES having PDA with you, hugs, kisses, snuggles, anything. he loves it.

Gojo directly takes you to therapy for emotions and when you come out and talk to him about your progress he is very happy to see you getting better every day, it seems.

Unlike Geto, he would try to remove the cult's influence from your life by seeing them as primarily responsible for your traumas (along with the death of your parents) and is fiercely protective in that regard.

They know it, you know it, one bad move and they're screwed.

NOW, if we're talking about the AUS where Geto doesn't get corrupted and stays in Jujutsu Tech with Mimiko and Nanako…IT'S ALL FLUFF.

Both are great life partners, mainly because they balance each other and thus you get the best of the best of EVERYTHING.

(i cant write more than this so sorry if its seems cut off im triying to fix it)

[creedslove]

LOSING HIM - JOEL MILLER HEADCANONS

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

• loving Joel Miller was a heartache you never really got over; you'd been in love so hard and fast, it was so sudden and the way you were head over heels for that man even caught you by surprise, as it was such a strong feeling

• you thought of your moments with him with such affection and love, it warmed your heart to think of the way he loved you back; Joel was a compassionate lover, he was caring and affectionate, he liked spoiling you and treating you as a princess

• and things between the two of you would've been perfect if it weren't for the fact you were both incompatible; there was no other explanation to it

• after the honeymoon period between the two of you was over, your relationship couldn't maintain itself much further, not with how incompatible you were and how you both disagreed on every single thing, from smallest things such as what would be the best flavor of a birthday cake, to major things like marriage and having kids in the future

• as much as you and him loved each other and felt that connection and attraction that pulled you two towards each other, the relationship got harder and harder, especially when instead of focusing on love making and spending quality time together, all you did was argue and stay away from each other as much as possible - you'd lock yourself in the bedroom while Joel would stay longer and longer at work

• you both knew it was a matter of time until you'd break up, and as much you didn't want it to happen, it would happen sooner than later. It was a shame you'd both have to give up your beautiful love and that intensity of feelings just because you were both incompatible, it wasn't fair really

• when the break up finally happened, you felt as if your heart had been ripped off your chest, not wanting to believe that was actually happening to you; as much as you knew it wasn't worth staying together just to fight and argue every day, it was so painful to think of how Joel would never kiss you or hold you again

• time healed all, that was what you always heard, but it didn't feel that way, as the weeks turned into months and then a year, you still felt the fresh wound in your heart; you still loved Joel and even if you didn't know what he was up to, you closed your eyes and secretly hoped he still loved you too

• in fact you dreamed about it, like a teenage girl who would create cute little scenarios about loving each other from afar and finally meeting again and giving yourselves a new chance that would lead into a very happy relationship and your much deserved happily ever after

• so your heart shattered even more, - something you had no idea it was even possible - when you walked into that restaurant that night, and saw Joel at the table with that woman, the one who had her arms around him, kissing his cheek and laughing out loud seemingly wanting to drag everyone's attention

• you noticed how Tommy and his girlfriend and also Sarah laughed at the scene, cheering at the lovely view, just enjoying a mundane family night with drinks and good food; as they all exchanged interactions, you realized none of them thought of you at that moment, chances were they didn't even remember your presence in their lives, as if you'd never existed

• as for that woman, you didn't need much information to figure who she was, not with that engagement ring on her finger; it wasn't her fault, you knew it, but you hated her, because she'd stolen your Joel, the same Joel who told you he would never get married again after Sarah's mom, but somehow changed his mind after meeting that woman

• perhaps he just didn't love you enough for it, but loved her and you couldn't do anything about it because you'd lost him

____