#because the second half would be a separate show financially speaking even if it’s part of the same story and it’d still have to be approved | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moonctzeny · 4 years ago

Text

The Bet

au+trope+prompt game: coffee shop!au Mark + enemies to lovers + is that the best you can do?

pairing: mark lee + fem!reader

other members as background characters: lucas

genre: fluff (only some suggestive stuff)

word count: 3,796

warnings: slight objectification of reader, suggestive stuff, heavy making out, a boner, i guess a stockings kink

summary: “When you took that part time job as a barista at your local café, you only cared about grabbing your check while doing the least work possible. But when your supervisor, Mark Lee, keeps getting praised and winning ‘Employee Of The Month’, you offer a bet, to prove him that he’s no better than you. The outcome? Your relationship changing forever.”

a/n: hbd baby <3

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

It started off as just a little part time job.

College life was not easy to cope with financially, and eating instant noodles for a week straight could only save you so much money. So when you saw the ‘Barista Wanted’ sign at the cafe that was just a block away from your house, you didn’t miss your chance for a few extra bucks. And that’s all that job would be for you. Doing the least work possible for the minimum wage you were given, if it wasn’t for him. Mark Lee.

Mark was sweet, honestly. He greeted you with a smile when you first came in and showed you around. He was a bit shy when he awkwardly stated that he was kind of like a supervisor there. But the way that the boss would go on and on about how great he was, every Monday morning, was starting to get annoying. So was his ability to always save your ass whenever you made a mess in front of your boss. So was his picture hanging in the “Employee Of The Month” frame right from across the bar. That kid won that title every.single.month. And no overtimes, sweeping or mopping from your part seemed to change your boss’s mind.

It all began when you and Lucas, another part-time worker whose shift started right after yours, were talking about whether you would make rent this month. Mark was sitting next to you, occupied with organizing some cups by size, but decided to chip in.

“Well”, he sighed “guess we’re just gonna have to eat the rich. Or take that pole dancing class you mentioned, Lucas.”

The taller boy found it funny, letting out his signature giggle and you would too, if Mark’s damn “Employee of the Month” picture wasn’t staring right into your soul, mocking you.

You rolled your eyes. “Not all of us are lucky enough to get that sweet I-love-kissing-the-boss’s-ass bonus every month, Lee”. Lucas whistled at your comment, used to your bickering but still very entertained.

“Careful how you speak to your supervisor, y/n or you’ll never get to be employee of the month”.

“Oh please”, you scoff “having extra keys to the back exit and cleaning the coffee machine twice a week? That’s wayyy too much responsibility”.

Sarcasm was dripping from your voice, but you were only half lying. You didn’t give a flying fuck for the position. You just wanted it because he had it. And that certain “he” was starting to get a little tired from your constant degradation. Mark smirked at you, but anger was evident on his expression.

“You should be thanking me, you know. At least you get to mooch off of my tips”.

Lucas yelled a drawn out “ooohhh” but you could barely hear him. Your eyes were piercing Mark’s, too busy keeping yourself from blurting out every profanity that came to your head in that moment. Instead, you took a deep breath.

“You think you make more tips than me?”, you asked calmly. Cockier than ever, the boy instantly replies with a “I know I do”, never breaking eye contact. This was your chance, you thought. The chance to prove yourself and shut him up for good.

“How about we make a little bet?”

Mark raised his bow-shaped brows, focusing his attention solely on you.

“Let’s put separate tip jars next to the cashing machine for the rest of the week. If I make more, you’ll convince the boss to remove that horrible frame for good”. He followed your eyes to his picture on the wall, and nodded.

“And when I win?”, he asked curiously and you chose to ignore his little play on words. You furrowed your brows, trying to think of a good motivation for him, as if his competitive nature wasn’t enough.

“OH! OH!” Lucas interrupted, “she can go on a date with that creepy friend of yours that always comes to the cafe to see her!”

Mark’s eyes instantly lit up at the idea. He handed out his pinky, looking to seal the deal with you.

“Bet’s on”, he said, with a seriousness that looked foreign on his cute features, and motioned to his pinky with his eyes, urging you to intertwine it with yours.

You sighed and walked away, muttering a “God, you are so lame”, but the next morning you came to work with a jar with your name written all pretty on it.

You didn’t really have a strategy per se. In fact, you had completely forgotten about the bet, too busy preparing orders and running around. You were cleaning up for Lucas to take your place in the shift, when you felt Mark looking down at you from the other side of the counter that usually separated you from the costumers. “May I be of help, sir?”, you asked him mockingly, not bothering to spare him a glance.

“You should wear those white thigh highs. You look cute in them.”

“Huh? What?”, you ask in confusion, still cleaning the surface carefully.

“In your date with Jason”, he explained with a teasing tone in his voice, Jason being his ‘creepy friend’ as Lucas calls him. Why did he have to piss you off right when you were ready to go home?

You continued to ignore him, only muttering a “I’m not going on that date”, when you hear a clinging sound and finally look up at Mark.

“You sure?”

He was holding the two tip jars, swinging them around. To your horror, Mark’s had more than twice the money than yours.

“WHAT??” you let out and immediately regretted it when some costumers looked at you like you were crazy. You continued with a whispered yell, “How the fuck did that happen??”

Mark grinned at you and lifted his shoulders innocently, before walking away. He must have cheated by slipping in coins when you weren’t looking, that sly motherfucker.

That’s it, you decided, on Wednesday you were going to spy on his every move.

After watching him intently for the whole morning, you came to the conclusion that Mark had a way of making everybody like him. Whether it was him memorizing the regulars and their orders, or asking them if they knew some random Will Smith song about Miami, he was always the textbook example of an eager, smiley and pleasant barista. Even you smiled at the sight of him fumbling with the pen when two pretty girls gave him their names to write on the coffee cups. He flashed them a smile and mumbled an apology, and you watched as they cooed at him and left a very generous tip. You were almost convinced by his adorable act, when he turned around and winked your way.

Ugh, you hated Mark Lee.

You decided that making a better connection with the customers was the way to go. You weren’t the type to start a conversation about the weather out of the blue, nor did you know any Will Smith songs, so you decided on drawing a little doodle on the cup next to their names with every order. The younger ones thought it was a nice addition to their snapchat story, the older ones found you cute. And as they came back for a coffee refill, your jar started filling up as well. It wasn’t much but you were getting closer to reaching the 3/4 of Mark’s tips, so you were pretty happy with yourself.

You were drawing a little heart for a latte when you smelled his cologne. You felt his breath pushing away at the hairs that were sticking out from your ponytail at the nape of your neck. You hated how it sent a shiver to your spine, how it made your hands a little shaky and how the heart drawing turned out a little wonky.

Mark was your “enemy” and your supervisor and Mr. Annoyingly Perfect but Mark was also hot. You would never admit it, but you even had a little crush on him when you started working there. You might pull a disgusted face every time Lucas tells you that the solution to your constant bickering was to “just fuck already”, but you wondered whether it was his oblivion to your crush that made your little hatred towards him grow. And you’d be lying if you said that you never stared at his cute ass sticking out of his apron a second too long, or that it didn’t turn you on when he got pissed at the ice getting stuck in the blender.

So now that he was almost pressing against you from behind, closer than ever, you wouldn’t mind at all. That is if he didn’t open his god damn mouth.

“Really?”, he scoffed “Is that the best you can do?”

His tone was so condescending that it made you furious, pressing your nails in the paper cup, and you were surprised that the liquid didn’t spill everywhere. He gave you a victorious smirk from getting that reaction out of you, and you wanted to punch it right off of his face.

Oh, that meant war.

On Thursday morning, you walked in looking the best you’ve ever looked for a morning shift. You had your hair in pigtails, hair bands matching the color of your lowcut dress. Your lengthened the straps of your apron, your cleavage not leaving much to the imagination.

It was ridiculous, you thought, how many tips a push up bra can get you. It only took a couple customers for the word to spread and the horny men to line up at the cafe. You batted your eyelashes at them, the “Good morning, I’m here to serve you, how can I help you sir?”driving them nuts. You had to say it every time, shop’s policy, but now it sounded more suggestive than ever. You were disgusted by their gawking eyes and terrible attempts at flirting, but you had a goal.

And hell were you winning. You weren’t sure if it was your jar that was filling up at an amazing rate or your outfit, but that was the first time you ever saw Mark make a mistake in his orders. You swore you felt his gaze following you around all day, murmuring something to himself every time a customer asked him if the pretty girl could serve them instead.

It was the end of the shift, and you were happily chatting with Lucas as you were cleaning up the counter. He was doing a terrible job at keeping his eyes away from your chest, but when it came to someone as good looking as him, you really didn’t mind the attention. You took your apron off and started folding it neatly when Mark took your wrist and dragged you into the storage room.

He held a bunch of wrinkly paper towels in his hands. You noticed something was written with a pen messily on each of them.

“This is the seventh phone number that a dude has given me today”, he told you as he stared into your eyes, careful not to move his gaze any more south. It was your turn to mess with him.

“Well good for you”, you said with a smile, “Didn’t know you were so popular with men, Mark”

He closed his eyes, trying to control his temper, and shoved the towels towards you.

“They’re for you. They asked me to pass them to you. After the third guy I forgot what their names were but you can figure them out yourself”. You took them from him with a quiet “oh, thanks” and he sighed.

“You can’t come in here looking like that. This is a workplace.”

You looked at him with wide eyes and fake innocence. “Like what? What’s wrong with my outfit?”. His patience was running short.

“Why don’t you ask Lucas” he replied, with a tone that started to piss you off.

“If you can’t control your hormones like you’re some teenage boys, that’s not my prob-“ you start but he cuts you off. You had never seen him act so stern.

“We have a dress code. Maybe the boss can remind you, if you want”.

It was the first time Mark had actually pulled the supervisor card on you and you felt a little hurt by the coldness of his voice. You swear you saw a bit of instant regret in his eyes but you decided to leave the matter alone, and left the storage room after ostentatiously throwing the phone numbers in the bin next to the door.

Friday was the last day of the bet. You didn’t show up with a flashy outfit, because 1) you didn’t want to risk losing your job for a stupid bet and 2) because straight men were annoying and so were their pickup lines that you didn’t want to deal with. You did wear the white thigh highs Mark mentioned though, with a skirt whose length followed the dress code, just to tease him a little bit. You had never worn them in work before, but when you ran across Mark one day on your way home from a girls’ night out, both a little drunk and disoriented, he didn’t hide his admiration towards them.

He noticed right away when you walked in the café this afternoon. Fridays were the only days when you took the later shift instead of the morning one. You hated it because that meant having to work with Mark until closing, and due to his perfectionism you’d always be staying with him overtime, cleaning every inch of the place, and never participating in any Friday parties that your friends hosted.

You were a little worried that things would be awkward between you after your little argument yesterday, but when he pointed at your stockings and asked if you were “dressed up for the date already”, you knew he didn’t keep any hard feelings and neither did you. What you didn’t expect was his jar to be as full as yours, if not more.

You panicked, and took Lucas to the side, making him promise that he would tell you if he had cheated while you were gone or not. He shrugged.

“Sorry, pretty, no cheating. A high school visited the park across the street as a field trip. The girls went crazy over him. Pretty sure they spent all their allowance here”.

At that you dropped your shoulders in defeat and worked your shift with a pout on your face. You wouldn’t take the humiliation of losing the bet, especially after the little stunt you pulled on Thursday. The hours went by agonizingly slow, and the moment you were dreading finally came.

You turned the “Sorry, we’re closed” sign at the glass entrance door, as you were mopping the floor. All the costumers were gone, and your boss had left the keys to you and Mark, asking you to lock up instead as he had ‘an errand to run’. You wished that your coworker would somehow forget about your bet and spare you the embarrassment, but instead, he gave you a devilish side smirk and motioned you to come closer.

He emptied his jar first, and started counting out loud in front of you, insisting that you do it out together so as not to pull any “funny business”.

40 bucks. It wasn’t bad, it was good actually, and you groaned, now feeling more nervous than ever.

Mark on the other hand, relaxed his shoulders and happily started counting your tips this time. His smile started to wear off, though, as you did much better that he thought. You were neck-to-neck, figuratively and almost literally, as your heads nearly bumped together in deep concentration.

“37,38,39,40…41,42,43” he whispered out and you couldn’t believe your eyes.

You won. You actually won. You never had to see that stupid “Employee Of The Month” frame ever again and most importantly, you were finally better than Mark at something.

You let out a high-pitched squeal, jumping up and down excitedly on your spot, strikingly different that the boy next to you, who was frozen in place.

“I woooon” you teased him with a sing-song voice “and you looooost, loserrr”

It was an understatement to say that Mark was fuming.

“It’s not fair!” he yelled and pointed an accusing finger towards you. You rolled your eyes and walked further back, next to the counter with the coffee machines, happily swinging your hips.

“Don’t be a sore loser Mark, I won fair and square”

“I’m not a sore loser!”, he whines, “I was at a disadvantage!”

You raise an eyebrow and turn towards him, to see that he had taken a few steps at your direction. “Oh yeah? And what is that?”

“You’re hot!”, he groans and rubs his hands over his face. “Hell, I would die from a caffeine overdose if it meant seeing you with your little pigtails and that top and that smile, ready to ‘serve me, sir’”

You could feel your ears and cheeks turning on fire and you’d blame it on the flattery, but his horrible high-pitched impression of your voice was what made you too angry to fully process what he said.

You grabbed a syrup bottle from the counter behind you and pointed it towards his face.

“Ugh, Mark! You’re so annoying! Why do you always need to be the best at everything!”

You barged into him, squeezing the bottle over his face. With his quick reflexes he swiftly grabbed your hand, successfully immobilizing you, but you had already managed to get a big, fat line of syrup right across his lips.

In a moment of clarity, you stopped resisting and became aware of the position you and Mark were in. You had moved backwards as a result of your fight, the countertop digging in your lower back. His one hand was grabbing at your lifted arm by the wrist, the other resting on the marbled surface behind you in an effort to detain you. To top it all off, you stared at the mess you made on his lips, coupled by the unreadable look on his eyes.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, you thought. This is your supervisory/n! You know, the guy in charge when the boss is gone? The guy that you basically jumped because of a stupid bet? That you actually won? But will still get you fired?

You were getting ready to move away and profusely apologize to Mark, your eyes frantically moving from his eyes, to his lips, to his “Employee Of The Month” picture from across the room. He, however, stayed still, only releasing your wrist to now place his hand under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“Clean this mess”, he demanded, in a tone you would have never expected from Mark, “immediately”

In the seconds that followed his demand, the tension between you two was thicker than the drizzle that still decorated his mouth. He came even closer, your noses only a centimeter apart, his fingers pressing on your face lightly.

You were worried whether you read the room wrong or not, because if you did, your next move would most certainly get you fired.

He could barely hear your whispered “here to serve you” before you finally closed the distance between you.

You pulled his bottom lip between your lips, your tongue shyly sweeping across it, collecting the syrup that was starting to dry into a sugary paste. He was soft like a cloud and tasted like caramel. You repeated the motion for his top lip when you felt him melt into your kiss. The moment was sweet like the taste in your mouth, but it changed as soon as you felt him grab the back of your thighs, lifting you on the top of the counter.

You matched his hunger by sucking on his bottom lip this time, determined to clean him up as best as you could. He moaned your name into the kiss, his fingertips digging in the inside of his favorite thigh highs. Your skirt had well ridden up, allowing him to pinch the fabric of one of them.

“These” he started, his lips now sucking on your neck, “almost cost me my supervisor’s position with all the messing up they made me do”

He let the elastic snap against your thigh, earning a small gasp from you and you decided to tease him a little.

“Is that so huh? Because I’m so hot? With my boobs and my pigtails and my willingness to serve?” you ask with a laugh, and you feel him smile against his deep kiss over your pulse, grabbing your legs to scoot your ass and pull you closer.

“Because you’ve been driving me crazy ever since you got this job. And because you look so fucking sexy when you’re mad”

His boldness made you desperate as you tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled him back up into a passionate kiss. It was sticky and hot and full of tongue, and you felt something poking on the inside of your thigh before a loud noise made you snap and pull away from each other in shock.

You looked at the floor to see a, thankfully not broken, but dismantled blender, that you must have pushed off the counter in the heat of the moment. You stare down at Mark as you both laugh at the situation, his hair messy and lips swollen and you know you definitely mirrored his look.

He cleared his throat. “Uhh, not that I don’t enjoy this, cause I really do, but if we keep at it Lucas is going to be the next Employee Of The Month, and not only is that ridiculous, but we would both basically lose our little bet”

You laughed at his comment and let your feet dangle awkwardly, your cheeks heating at the thought of what might have happened if you two had kept going.

“I’m sorry for being such a bitch about your framed picture” you said with a small voice, avoiding his gaze “you don’t have to take it down”

He smiled at your attempt at peace as he picked up the blender pieces and skillfully riveted them in place. Your eyes suddenly widened before adding, “I will NOT go on a date with your creepy friend though”

Mark giggled at that and shook his head before returning his eyes back at you. His cheeks were flushed a crimson red, deep in thought.

“How about me?” he blurted, “I mean, how about going on a date with me instead?”

You nodded your head, reaching a hand out to fix the messy locks out of his eyes.

“Yes. I think I’d love that”

#mark lee scenarios #nct scenarios #mark lee #mark lee fluff #nct fluff #mark lee birthday #nct au #nct 127 #superm

511 notes · View notes

cryoculus · 5 years ago

Note

More love for Semi please? Anything will do, your writing is exquisite in any form anyway :D

» Word Count: 1,857 wordsCross-posted on AO3

SORRY THIS IS SO LATE :(( I actually wrote three chapters’ worth of content for him already and you can read the whole thing on the ao3 link.(NOTE: This is based on the current events of the final arc of the Haikyuu manga. I tagged it as a spoiler but I won’t really go into the specifics of what’s going on. Semi is our main focus here ^__^)

—

“Please?”

“No,” was your flat reply.

Semi heaved a long sigh, mouth twitching into an irritated grimace. You returned his reaction with a sassy look of your own—one, finely penciled brow quirked as bright, red lips rivalled the adamance that Semi brought about. While you were in no position to tell him to just go back to his cubicle and get today’s work done (you, sadly, held the same position in office), you at least had the right to turn him down. Your department had a monthly financial report coming up. Why on Earth did he want your help writing a song?

“Come on,” he groaned. “You know I’d eat my fist first before asking for your help, but our manager really digs your old pieces from college.”

Your eye twitched.

“Way to beg for someone’s aid in a time of dire need,” you bit back sarcastically. “Go do it then.”

“What?”

“Eat your whole fist.” You gave him a pointed look, even making a show of paying attention by putting your pen down.

Your co-worker let out a frustrated groan, fingers carding through his messy, ashen hair. The gesture made the tattoos on his chest visible for a second, before disappearing again behind his barely done button-up. It was a mystery, how a man like him made it as a public servant—with his flamboyant piercings and tip-dyed hair—but you supposed you should learn to look past physical appearances. The agency allowed it, so why should you make a fuss?

Ah, right. Semi Eita was the most hot-headed man in your department, and he had a knack for picking fights with you.

“If you get the balance sheet done by five o'clock, I might reconsider,” you told him, not really meaning the words, as you directed your attention back at the paperwork on your desk. Balance sheets are the toughest to fill out, since the data needed had to be collated from different sectors of the city. You highly doubted that Semi, with his thinner-than-a-strand-of-hair patience, could finish it in one sitting.

“Deal.”

Your gaze hardened as you looked back up at him. “Come again?”

“Are you deaf?” he asked, folding lean arms across his chest. “I said it’s a deal.”

You couldn’t help the snort that made its way past your lips. Whatever his reasons may be, it was painfully obvious that he was desperate. But still. You knew that he wouldn’t be able to carry out the deed in your given deadline, but instead of talking him out of his own agreement, you merely shook your head in acceptance.

Semi eventually stalked off to his cubicle; the one just in front of yours. There was a divider that separated each employee’s workspace from the others, and it at least granted some semblance of privacy from outside gazes. You’ve been to Semi’s cubicle a couple of times—more to coordinate paperwork than engage in conversation, really—and he decorated his personal space exactly how a part-time rock band vocalist would. Though he didn’t exactly put up posters and painted the walls black, he added his own flair to his desk with guitar figurines, neon stickers on his desktop, and a photo of his bandmates enclosed in a sparkly picture frame.

The only reason you bothered looking so closely was the fact that you also went to the same university together (under the same degree, too!) You’ve always been keen around him, with his loud way of living, as opposed to you, who’s always chosen to live simply and without pretentiousness. Sure, the disparity between your lifestyles had caused you to be at each other’s throats since freshman year, but it was still a surprise that your synergy was top notch. You would, as Semi put it so delicately, eat your fist first before admitting to the fact, but it’s a given that you preferred to work with him instead of other, unfamiliar people.

You sighed, brandishing a bored look at the bleak document in front of you. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to help him out…

But when you recalled every time he’s talked over you during board meetings, sneered at you when he got a higher score during exams, and his distateful behavior in general, you steeled your resolve.

Either he’s going to get that balance sheet over with or he’ll keel over. If he wanted your help, he’s going to have to work for it.

—

You were in the middle of fixing your belongings when the sound of a stack of papers hitting your desk rang in your ears.

“There,” Semi said breathlessly, making you look up at him in surprise. He even tossed a flash drive on top of the papers he deposited, where you saw the city hall’s heading printed in full color. You reluctantly checked your phone for the time. 16:57, it said, in a mockingly bold typeface before shoving it in your pocket.

The damn guy really did get it done before five.

“The electronic document is saved in there, in case you lose the print.” He was panting at this point, and you had a vague idea as to why he looked like he just ran a marathon. The one printer in your department (this year’s budget was cut) broke down a few days ago, and the nearest functional one was at the Logistics office three floors down.

Still refusing to believe it, you peered at the documents he just brought in. You scanned each of the entries printed on each page. That’s when you realized that Sendai City’s expenses have skyrocketed since the new year because the list of expenses occupied a whole page alone. A worried sigh made its way past your lips, but at least the liabilities were cut down to a minimum. You heard that the governor of Miyagi was going to pledge a few hundred thousand yen for the city’s founding anniversary, too.

You paused. Blinking, you rearranged the papers neatly back into its pile—biting back the urge to clutch your wounded pride. Semi was looking at you expectantly, like he wanted you to praise his flawless bookkeeping.

In actuality, his determination was beginning to freak you out.

“Why do you want me to help you so badly?” you asked, voice almost trembling. “Seriously, dude. I thought we hated each other. Quit acting out of character.”

“I told you, our manager really liked the songs you composed back in senior year,” he drawled, tired of having to repeat himself.

Your face twisted in confusion. “Who even is this manager of yours?”

There was a half-second delay in his response, but before you could paint a reason for his hesitation, he immediately replied with, “Saito. Saito Makoto.”

You stiffened, gaze going rigid at the mention of that name. “Oh.”

“Yeah. If I manage to give him a piece by the end of the month, he’ll help us sign a contract with a big-shot record label,” Semi explained, oblivious to your discomfort.

“But haven’t you been writing songs since high school?” you wondered aloud. “That’s what you said during our Pol-Gov class ice breaker.”

He frowned. “You still remember that?”

Okay. You kept forgetting that your sharp memory wasn’t always a praiseworthy thing. You gulped, feeling the heat creep up your face. “Um, anyway, the point still stands. You’ve been writing songs for God-knows-how-long, and while I’m not one to dish out compliments especially to you, I’m pretty sure they’re okay if you managed to gather a decent fanbase.”

He rolled his eyes, leaning against the divider of your cubicle. “We’re a rock band. I write rock songs, but Saito wants me to write a goddamn love song.”

Typical Saito. Though he looked like a rugged high school delinquent, he was awfully sentimental when it came to music. He was the one who inspired you to write the songs Semi was pestering you about all day after all…

“Fine,” you relented. “I never go back on my word and since you did a…good job with this, I’ll help you out.”

His light brown eyes lit up for a moment, but Semi managed to mask his relief in a split second—containing his excitement in a single nod. “Are you free this Saturday? You can come by my place and we could start getting to work.”

Well, that was forward of him. You expected to work on the song in a coffee shop or something, but he went on ahead and invited you to his own humble abode anyway. You parsed through your weekend plans in your mind, and once you confirmed that you were free, you scribbled down your phone number on a sticky note. Almost five years of acquaintance and you’d never bothered giving it to him. Huh.

“Just text me the time and place,” you told him, pocketing the flash drive as you slipped the balance sheet in one of the empty folders in your organizer. “You better not pull anything funny and lead me to a secluded alley or something.”

Semi scoffed, folding the piece of paper and sticking it inside his trousers. “As if.”

You then slung your bag across your shoulders, grinning insincerely. “Glad we’re on the same page, then.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

With that, Semi exited your cubicle, leaving you no room to wonder why he didn’t even spare a quick ‘thank you’.

Just as you were smoothing out the creases on your pencil skirt, your phone began buzzing in the pocket of your blazer. Brows raised, you fished it out and unlocked it.

From: Makohey, wanna grab some dinner? its on me :3

Speak of the devil. You swallowed the lump in your throat, fingers shakily managing to type a coherent reply.

To: MakoYeah sure. Where to tho

From: Makocan we get some italian? ik u love the udon place across the street but akane’s having dinner w her friends there

From: Makocant have her seeing us together now do we

The way he put that so casually made your chest constrict with a too-familiar sensation. You heaved a deep breath, pursing your lips into a thin line as you sent a quick “Ok” text to end your conversation. Saito replied with those iffy heart-eyed emojis that he only ever used when he wanted something from you, and you had to compose yourself so you wouldn’t burst into tears right there.

“Oi.”

You almost jumped at the sound of Semi’s voice as he peered inside your cubicle once more. He clutched his suitcase in one hand, eyeing you curiously.

“What do you want?”

“You’re headed uptown, too, right?” he asked, and you nodded reluctantly. “Thought you’d want a lift.”

“Semi, just because I’m helping you achieve your dreams, doesn’t mean you have to be nice to me.” You laughed softly, tension easing from his uncalled for kindness.

He, however, looked unconvinced. “Do you want a ride or not?”

You raised your hands in defeat, managing a genuine smile. “Alright, fine. It’ll be a hellish commute anyway.”

You liked to think that that’s how you started becoming friends with your odd, hot-headed co-worker.

#haikyuu!!#semi eita #semi eita x reader #shiratorizawa #hqscenario #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu spoilers #hq headcanons #hq!! headcanons

65 notes · View notes

dtw42 · 4 years ago

Text

Reverse-engineering the Two Ronnies crossword sketch

Among the catalogue of classic sketches by the late and much-missed Two Ronnies, sits this little piece: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVWdbO6FFfw

Give it a watch all the way through then come back here.

Done? Okay.

Being of a cruciverbal mindset, it occurred to me to try and see whether the clues Ronnie Corbett’s character was struggling with could actually be worked into a plausible grid. When writers have characters doing crosswords, they often throw out clue numbers willy-nilly, without paying much attention to their structural plausibility – something I found pretty quickly when I tried to reverse-engineer The Owl crossword from Jasper Fforde’s Lost in a Good Book (but that’s a post for another time).

Ronnie reads out the text of seven clues. In four of these, he’s already got some letters in. Can we assume that’s because those letters are from crossing answers? The only alternative, that they (or at least some of them) are “givens” (i.e. actually printed in the grid by the publisher) is too dull to contemplate for the purposes of this (admittedly silly anyway) exercise, so let’s assume they are from crossing answers.

For three of the clues, we are told the actual clue position and number.

This, in essence, is what we have to go on:

2ac. They peck holes in your milk-bottle tops (4). ? ? T S

6ac. Often found in the bottom of a birdcage (4). ? ? I T

16ac. It’s green and often found on football pitches (5). G R A ? ?

??. It’s red, it smells, and it’s often picked in the garden (4). ? O S E

??. Place where fish are kept (4).

?ac. Strange animal found in a hive (5,3).

?dn. He always plays with Big Ears (5).

We are told that the fifth letter of the penultimate of these crosses with the first letter of the last of these.

For the fifth clue, Ronnie Barker’s character mocks Corbett’s for having filled in “coop” (or “Co-Op”) but doesn’t suggest a correction, and we’re not told what letter or letters he might have had in already. There are plenty of four-letter possibilities for where fish might be kept – tank, bowl, pond, maybe even pool – and note that many of them share the second letter “O” with Corbett’s guess, so let’s make it one of those (instead of “tank”) and make the second letter check with another crossing word.

For the sixth and seventh clues, Barker’s character confirms that the correct answers should be “queen bee” and “Noddy” (not “queer bee” and “Roddy”).

Let’s make one more basic assumption: since this is in a daily newspaper (Corbett describes it as the “Sun Junior Coffee-Time Easy Clues”), it should abide by the normal standards of crossword symmetry. That is to say, most likely 180° rotational symmetry. We initially don’t know the dimensions or style of the grid, but it’s not likely to be huge. If we start trying to construct a grid that would take these clues in the positions indicated, come constraints quickly start to show themselves.

Firstly, if there’s a 2 across, we can pretty much rule out there being a 1 across (since it would have to have no more than the first letter checked), so 1 is a down answer only.

Secondly, note that we have the third and fourth letters of 2ac in already – T S. Likewise the second, third and fourth letters of that “It’s red…” clue; the first, second and third letters of that “It’s green…” clue, and so on. Multiple consecutive checked letters? Well, for a blocked-grid crossword you might be able to envisage that somewhere in the middle of the diagram, but 2ac is clearly in the top row (and 6ac very likely is as well). No – this is sounding distinctly like a barred-grid puzzle. This puts our own meta-joke layer on top of those intended by the writers, since barred-grid puzzles are normally used for advanced/difficult puzzles (probably akin to the “Financial Times Mephistopheles” that Ronnie Barker is trying to concentrate on), and peppered with recondite vocabulary – not the sort of thing one might describe as a “Junior Coffee-Time Easy Clues”.

So my initial attempt to fit the answers we know into the positions we know, gave me something like this:

A bit of careful work with the grid-filler function and we can populate the rest of the diagram with a mix of common, harder, and obscure words typical of the barred-grid puzzle.

But we have a problem. Look at 16ac: the two letters that Corbett says he hasn’t got (the fourth and fifth) are parts of 3dn and 4dn – which also supply the last two letters of 2ac, the very two letters that he says he has got. If he’s solved 3dn and 4dn, then he’ll have both sets of these final letters, and if he hasn’t, then he’ll have neither. This arrangement of bars can’t support both scenarios. Therefore, if 16ac is going to be positioned there on the left side of the grid, we need bars above those letters, making 3dn and 4dn both three-letter words. We need to think again about the position of the bars.

Because we need to have the last two letters of 2ac not give away the last two letters of 16ac, and we need the second letter of 16ac not to give away the first letter of 2ac, those parts of those two words need to be cut off from each other by bars, and that in turn means adding more three-letter words into the grid. There are already going to be quite a few of them, and we really want to keep the number down as best we can (because it’s poor form in crossword setting to have too many three-letter words), so this means removing bars in other areas of the grid to make longer words (making sure as we go along that we don’t introduce or delete bars that would change the clue number for “grass”). That in turn increases the likelihood that we will have to accept some pretty obscure words.

In the next screenshot I’ve marked the given words in green, the known letters in blue, and then re-done the pattern of bars preparatory to trying another grid fill.

So – having filled the grid (and yes, as was inevitable, there are a few obscurities – but actually fewer than I expected) – it’s time to write the remaining clues. So, do we attempt to give all the other words “easy clues” like the ones the Ronnies read out? Or do we contrast those seven with cryptics more in keeping with the style of grid?

I went for cryptic clues in keeping with the style of the grid, and then decided to omit the clues for the seven given words and get the solvers to seek out the sketch for themselves (I circled the letters ‘TWO RONNIES’ in the grid to give a nudge in the right direction). Okay, link to the puzzle here: http://crossword.info/skirwingle/coffeetime/

Next here’s a long scrolly bit so you don’t see the answers by mistake. (see you after the dots)

Let’s have a look at the words I fitted around the givens, and separate them out by vocabulary difficulty:

EVERYDAY WORDS (26)

legato, onus, duty, wands, liaise, atomic clock, press, dandy, sail, Eileen, slay, ted, tat, sty, grain, tussocks, aspen, guano, rotundas, Simeon, obese, quest, email, Rio, old, eel

IN-BETWEEN OR GUESSABLE WORDS (6)

unmoor (to cast off moorings), Indic (the Indian branch of Indo-European languages), nailer (a maker of nails!), sri (an Indian title roughly equivalent to Mr.), cep (a mushroom), ryes (slightly unusual plural of the grain or the whiskey derived from it)

“HARD” WORDS (4)

irenicon (same as eirenicon – a peace-making scheme)

odal (same as udal – an Orkney or Shetland estate without feudal superior – possibly the most obscure word in the grid, and therefore the one most in need of a simple clue that gives you the necessary letters – such as a hidden or initials clue; thankfully 75% of it is checked by down words)

alogia (inability to speak, due to a brain lesion)

kisans (Indian peasants – probably the next most obscure word, and only 50% checked, so again in need of a plain clue)

I don’t think that’s too bad! If you add the “hard” words to the in-between words, that’s still less than half as many as regular familiar words (and then there are the seven original answers from the sketch as well).

#cryptic #crossword #puzzle

2 notes · View notes

twilight-adamo · 5 years ago

Text

Author’s Notes: Brave New World, Chapter 6: Wake the Dead

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709434/chapters/49726988

The part of the story dealing with the investigation into Alice’s past was meant to fit within one chapter. It ended up being three, because woman plans and the goddess laughs. I don’t regret it, though - I think it allowed me to cover a lot of territory that may become important later. Some of it came as a complete surprise to me; I would hit this point or that in the chapter, and I would have a plan for what came next, and then suddenly some part of my mind would go “oh, no, it’s this” and, well, what could I do but write it?

The history of Alice’s childhood home after her mother was murdered and the family left was inspired somewhat by the LaLaurie Mansion, which I namechecked in the chapter (though, whoops, I got the capitalization wrong). Nicolas Cage, the actor, did in fact own the mansion for a few years, and lost it to foreclosure when he ran into financial difficulties. He ended up suing his business manager, who countersued and claimed Cage had made a number of frivolous purchases against his advice. It’s widely believed (and may be fact) that Cage takes so many film roles today because he’s still paying off his debts.

During Cage’s ownership of the house, he did put a sign up on the LaLaurie Mansion (or it’s generally believed he was the one, at least), and it’s pretty much the sign I describe outside the Brandon house. The LaLaurie Mansion has an extraordinarily dark history - look up Delphine LaLaurie if you can stomach it; we are talking about a woman whose cruelty toward the people she had enslaved was so outrageous that other slaveholders condemned her and she was hounded out of town. Her story has been embellished over the years, and distorted by pop culture (American Horror Story, for instance, featured her as a recurring character played by Kathy Bates, and added elements of Elizabeth Bathory to her story), but she was certainly an extraordinarily horrible person. The mansion that stands today is not the original, which was burned down in the 1834, but it is still said to be profoundly haunted. A financial corporation holds it today. I’m not sure who, if anyone, it’s being held for.

I felt quite strongly as I started this chapter that Alice needed some time to herself. The little part of my brain that speaks for her had made it quite clear she was emotionally exhausted and inclined to withdraw. Naturally this leaves Bella worried half out of her mind, providing me with an opportunity to show Rose and Emmett looking after her. A few readers have told me that Rosalie and Bella’s relationship - the close friendship they’ve turned into sisterhood - is one of their favorite parts of the story; I suppose this makes it obvious it’s one of mine, too. But I don’t think it’s just Rosalie who cares for Bella so deeply; it’s Emmett, too. I tend to be a serious introvert in real life, and nervous about getting too close to others, especially physically. It’s probably left me rather touch-starved. But I do think touch is important, not just between lovers but between friends and family, and physical comfort can do more than words ever could.

I keep saying Bella isn’t me, that I’m making a deliberate effort as the story grows stranger to divorce her from the self-parody she originally was, and then I keep bringing in stories from my own life. Yes, it’s true: in my second year of college, I lived in a haunted women’s dorm, and the broad strokes of the haunting are largely as I describe. I left out some of the more specific details; it probably wouldn’t be hard for you to figure out where I went to college if you really wanted, but I didn’t want to spell it out. My first night there, I did in fact have strange, restless dreams that I interpreted as the ghost trying to figure out what to make of me. I did indeed mix herbs into water as part of a ritual and choked the mixture down, and I was left in peace after that. It was quite disgusting, frankly, but it does make a good story.

The dream was one of those surprises I’d mentioned. Frankly, a lot of stuff has just returned to Bella far earlier than I had planned. More than that, I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to bring any kind of religion into it, but I found Bella’s spirit calling out and something answering and, well, here we are.

My personal beliefs are quite private. I’m willing to discuss them, to a point; I am completely uninterested in converting anyone to my way of thinking, and there are some elements too sacred to me to disclose. In broad strokes, the faith Bella describes agrees with my own. I do hold as a central tenet that the divine is infinite and beyond the comprehension of our finite minds. I do believe that the names by which we call the divine, the roads we travel to reach whatever understanding we can find, lead ultimately to the same place - and yet those names, the gods we cry out to, the commandments we follow, the stories we hold close to our hearts, all have a reality of their own. I do in fact worship seven goddesses whom I view as aspects of one goddess, and the titles and roles described roughly correspond to my faith. I would not invoke them in the way Bella does. I would not see them as she sees them. And if I ever do give them names in the story, they won’t be the names I call them by.

But yes: once again I’ve gotten deeply personal. Writing this story sometimes feels like writing an operator’s manual to my soul. Perhaps I keep turning back to these personal details, despite my best efforts to separate Bella from myself, because it all comes easier when I pour my heart and soul into the work. Even if that means I must submit to the horrifying ordeal of being known.

Does Bella have access to magic again, after that dream? I don’t think so - at least, I don’t think she could do magic on her own. She can help Rosalie, and presumably other witches; she can call out to her deities in prayer, but I’ve never viewed that as inherently magical. But her perceptions have broadened, just a bit, and sensation begins to return. She can feel the things she has been numb to, and see the light and color of spellwork.

Will she remember more of her old life? Not on her own, I think. I hadn’t really intended for her to recover any memories at all, and arguably she only recovered what she did due to divine intervention. Part of my long-term purpose in expanding Alice’s visions so she could look back on the past as well of the future was a vague notion that she could use this ability to help Callie and Bella work through their lingering questions about their personal history, and I certainly have further developments in mind. But I don’t see Bella becoming entirely who she once was. That person is part of who she has become, but otherwise lost.

Then again, I suppose I’ve allowed her to find other things I would once have called lost, so perhaps I can’t really say for certain until the whole of the work is done.

I really wanted to bring Leah into the phone conversation somehow - I do want more of her in this story, and an increasing number of these first chapters are focused on the BEAR world tour, meaning we don’t get much time with the folks back home. I just couldn’t see my way clear to it. This felt like a conversation between Bella and Callie and no one else.

We’re seeing some cracks in their friendship here, as Bella begins to understand that Callie is still holding back. There are likely more disagreements to come, and both Callie and Rosalie are growing more vocal about their mutual dislike for one another, which can’t make things any easier. I think things will be all right in the end, but if you’re getting the feeling the road ahead is a rocky one, I can’t say I disagree.

Six Flags New Orleans was still open during our heroes’ visit to New Orleans. A month later, at the end of August 2005, Hurricane Katrina wreaked havoc on the park, and it never reopened. Six Flags removed much of the infrastructure that once stood there (including some things that the city of New Orleans alleges they had no right to take), and though various development proposals have emerged over the years, none of them have led to the park reopening in any form. It stands abandoned, and though some urban explorers have gotten in, access is strictly forbidden.

I wanted to linger over dinner, but I couldn’t think of anything more to add, and I was eager, at long last, to get to the main event. So I wasted little time getting the gang to St. Charles Avenue, and into the old house, and then of course Luciana appears almost at once, as soon as Alice has gotten a good look at her past.

I think Alice saw more than she said directly in this chapter, and she’ll have more to say about what she saw as time goes on. It just wouldn’t all fit in this scene. Everything happened so quickly that I had to struggle to keep to what was immediately relevant. And honestly, I think we were all here for that last conversation between Alice and her mother more than anything.

Luciana is not, of course, La Llorona. That is a much older story that comes from farther south, in Mexico and Latin America. But as she is a weeping woman crying out in Spanish, some of the locals have confused the legends, and I did take some inspiration from the story of La Llorona in describing her behavior. In particular, some legends say that when La Llorona sounds distant, she is actually quite close - and so our heroes hear Luciana crying out distantly, and then, quite suddenly, she’s on top of them.

I had given some thought to Luciana speaking entirely in Spanish, at first - I had always imagined she was bilingual, but Spanish was her first language. Ultimately, I just wasn’t confident enough in my Google-augmented translation skills. I took Latin in school, not Spanish, and not much Latin at that. I can sometimes tell when things are really wrong, but I was worried it would come off as textbook Spanish, stilted and inauthentic, and things were coming so quickly and furiously that...well, it felt like it would take too long to find a fluent speaker willing to help me get the Spanish right. I hated to do it, I hate to say that - if I were preparing this for publication as an original work I would certainly take the time to get someone else’s eyes on the thing - but I’m going on vacation in about a week and a half and I really wanted to conclude this arc before dropping off the grid. All that said, if you’re interested in helping me with foreign languages or beta reading on this story in general, please do drop me a line; I’ve certainly made enough mistakes that I wouldn’t mind getting another pair of eyes on future chapters.

Alice’s family history was one of the first things I came up with for this book, along with the dream about the Volturi that opens the whole thing. Alice’s father was canonically a jeweler and pearl trader. Though I played a bit loose with canon otherwise, I decided to keep this, and had the notion that he married Alice’s mother for her family wealth and most importantly their access to jewels, pearls, and precious medals. When he suffered some reversal in fortune connected to her family, I figured - perhaps the mines drying up, or as I ended up describing, Luciana’s father dying and not leaving her what George saw as his due - he would become willing to throw her over for another woman, and more, to arrange Luciana’s death. The final details only came together as I was writing this chapter and the last.

Alice’s final conversation with her mother still feels short. To some extent, it’s meant to be. Once Luciana’s soul was fully restored, once she had some chance to find peace, I couldn’t see her lingering long upon the threshold between the living world and the next. I hope I got the important things down - above all else, that Alice now knows she had a mother who loved her, who loves her still and will be watching over her.

It’s not the end of Alice’s journey. But it is more or less the end of the gang’s time in New Orleans. Boston comes next, and then Ireland, and all the things that follow on from that. As I said, I’m going on vacation - I’m not sure whether I’ll get another chapter before I leave, and I have obligations to fulfill before the year is out. I hope, if there is a delay, that you all find this a decent stopping point.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight fanfic #twilight au #bellice #the tempest trilogy #the tempestverse #brave new world

9 notes · View notes

brodymeetsworld · 5 years ago

Text

This Christmas.

When I was a little girl, Christmas was my favorite holiday of the year. My grandmother would cook for days in preparation for the entire family( 6 grown children, 10 plus grandchildren) to gather around the table together (or the infamous kids table.) It was one of the only times of the year I was able see my extended family, and I soaked up every second of the time we had together. I have so many memories from learning how to cook with my Grandma, Aunts, and my oldest cousin Erin. To watching football in the living room with everyone including Granddaddy snoozing in “his chair”, to secretly learning how to play the card game “bullshit” (at a very young age I might add lol) with all of the cousins on the back enclosed porch. We would always end our evening the same way, after dinner we would sing the “Happy Birthday” song to Jesus, and because my little brother and I were the babies of the family, we usually got to blow out the candles on the cake. Afterwards, most of us would attend Christmas eve candlelight service at the Monterey Methodist Church. I didn’t get to go to Church very often, so these services were so special and beautiful to me. Those memories are some of the best memories of my childhood.

After my grandparents passed away, the glue that held our extended family together dissolved. Everyone decided to host their own families for the holidays, and no longer wanted the financial or time burden to feed and host twenty-thirty family members. It saddens my soul to never see my aunts, uncles, or cousins anymore. The only way we see each other and communicate now is through social media or phone calls. One big portion of our family even moved half way across the country to Missouri, so the chances of seeing them anytime soon are slim. I truly haven’t felt the magic of Christmas since Christmas in Monterey, and that was 15 years ago.

After I met and married my husband, and when I became a mom, at the age of 26 and again at 27, I thought that magic would suddenly just appear again! Wrong, if anything, Christmas was harder all around. Not only did my two babies want nothing to do with Santa Clause, or the presents my husband and I worked so hard to buy, wrap, put together, but they were determined to destroy all of our decorations, including 3 separate artificial trees. I was completely emotionally and physically drained the first two Christmas’s with our children. I always just threw it off as of well this is life with two under two, or two under three. It never occurred to me, that one of my children may have special needs.

Fast forward to today, this will be my 30th Christmas. This will be my boys 4th and 5th Christmas. This year they have finally left our beautiful tree alone, and most of the presents underneath it as well. They both love to sing Christmas songs, and watch the snow fall on the ground. Our favorite thing to do right now is make Christmas crafts, and go searching for Christmas lights at night in the car. The proof of them growing and learning is obvious this year, and it brings so much joy to my heart. We also started going to church this year. What brought us to church was learning about our oldest son, Brody, diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder over Easter weekend this past year.

You see, my husband and I always knew Brody was special, but we had no idea how special he really was. We were first time parents, and when Bentley came along just 14 months after his brother, we entered survival mode and did our very best. Looking back, I think Brody started showing signs of Autism shortly after his brother came into the world, around 16 months old. I was in denial for a long time, as well as my husband. I can remember looking back and thinking how hard it was in the beginning with both boys, and I never thought of the hard times as Brody being “abnormal”. I always blamed myself for “not being a good enough parent”, and that’s why he is crying all the time. Or “I’m not a good cook, that's why he won’t eat any of the meals I make for him”. And the one I really truly believed, “I guess I don’t talk to him enough and that's why he won’t speak”. All of these things would torment me every day, and all I could do was vent to my husband or his pediatrician. I even took him to see a ENT doctor determined because he had so many ear infections as a baby, maybe he had a hearing problem. It wasn’t until a close family member kept Brody over night that Autism even crossed our radar. Bless her heart too, she tried to tell me, but instead of accepting help, I was angry with her. The first time I reached out for help with our children and my biggest fear was being confirmed.(crazy when I think back, I really was scared of this diagnosis) I was so deep in denial there was nothing she could have done at that time that wouldn't have upset me. It took a toll on our relationship, and I regret the time we lost together over it.

Before we even received Brody’s diagnosis, we enrolled him into the special needs pre school in our county. He qualified right away, and he started right after his third birthday. He went from speaking one word sentences, to three to four word sentences in a year and half time so far, and most importantly he can communicate his needs and wants. His eating has improved, and we have a list of foods he will eat as oppose to 4 things total. Brody will dance with us down the hallway, and sing silly songs for us. He knows how to say please and thank you, I’ve been told by his teachers he is showing empathy to his classmates, and he can finally say “I love you, mommy” or “I love you, daddy” without signing them to us at the same time. All of these things are so bittersweet for us, because there was a time not too long ago we weren’t sure they were even a possibility.

Easter 2019 comes, we receive our sons test results in the mail. If you’ve never read ADOS results before, they can be a bit confusing. My husband and I read the results, googled our sons comparison score of “4″, and thought he was on the severe end of the spectrum. It wasn’t until the next day did we find out we were wrong, Brody is in fact on the mild end of the spectrum. But the night before was rough, we both cried and cried. Why did we cry? I really don't know the answer to that question. When you receive a diagnosis for your child, no matter the diagnosis, a part of you inside just breaks into a million pieces. I can’t speak for my husband on this, but I know for myself, as a mom, I blamed myself for a long time. I spent so much time trying to think back through out my pregnancy with Brody what I could have done wrong. I think back through out his infancy what could have went wrong, “what did I do, what did I do that made him different.” The end of the school year was coming, and we have a yearly IEP meeting with all of Brody’s team members. In that meeting, the school psychologist who tested Brody, told us it was imperative for Brody to constantly be put into small social circles. She recommended t-ball, soccer, church, birthday parties, etc. So that is exactly what we did. Brody wasn’t old enough to enroll into sports in our county yet, so we accepted every single birthday party invite, and focused on finding a Church family.

We had several invites to different churches in our community, but because I myself hadn’t been to church in over 15 years, I was a nervous wreck deciding which church to attend. Going anywhere, by yourself (my husband works A LOT), with two rowdy boys is hard. It’s 10x harder when you have a child with Autism. I knew I had to get over my fears of my sons meltdowns, and do this not only for my sons social interaction sake, but also so our children could learn about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I always wanted to learn about the Lord when I was growing up, but no body ever wanted to wake up sunday morning to attend a church service with me. In fact, the only times I ever attended church was during Christmas or if I stayed the night with one of my friends whose family attended. Now its my turn, it’s my duty as a mother, and as a daughter of the King, to teach my children his word and of his sacrifice for all of us.

I choose our church family, Redeeming Grace Outreach Worship Center. The boys and I go almost every sunday. Both boys wake up excited to go to church, and really enjoy singing and dancing for the Lord. After a bit of a transitioning period in the beginning, Brody will finally go to the nursery without mama having to be there too. I am finally able to read the bible and worship God and take something away from each and every service, and that truly has been a game changer in our life as a family.

So for my 30th Christmas this year, this will be by far my best Christmas yet. Its been a year of ups and downs, a year of believing in miracles (Ezekiel Rhett), a year of building our faith, and a year of learning acceptance. Our son is exactly who he is supposed to be, and he was made in the eyes of our father. Through him, I’m learning exactly who I’m supposed to be too. God has a purpose for each and everyone of us, and our mighty King makes no mistakes. This Christmas will be magical because we made it that way.

#autismawareness #autismacceptance

3 notes · View notes

adventuresofamodernscholar · 6 years ago

Text

**Disclosure** I wrote this entire post in order to avoid making my presentation for a conference…and forgot to finish it until about 18 months later. So everything that refers to “this week” or “in a few days” happened over a year ago. I am the world’s worst procrastinator.

Phew! I am exhausted!

A few weeks ago I decided to quit my day job, so I have been nothing more than a full time graduate student for the past month or so. While I am looking for another (less stressful) job, my days have been pretty unstructured and open; somehow I cannot remember having had a minute of free time this month, though, so maybe I haven’t been as free as I seem to think…. hmm.

Anyway, a big chunk of my time this month has been dedicated to working on building my CV in preparation for applying to PhD programs next summer. I have been studying for my GRE exams, submitting papers and abstracts for publication and conferences, and, of course, I have been working hard on my schoolwork and preparing presentations for conferences for which I have already been accepted.

A few weeks ago I had an opportunity to present virtually at a conference in India, but this past weekend I had my first in-person presentation at an academic conference; it was simultaneously the most exciting and most terrifying moment in my academic career so far. I was so nervous, especially since I had no idea what to expect, what to wear, or how I would be able to afford to go! I spent an unreasonable amount of time delving through obscure sites trying to find some solid information about these conferences, so I wanted to create a helpful post for other young academics with the same questions that I had. I hope this is helpful!

What to Wear

For some reason, this was one of the most stressful parts of my preparations; I had no idea what to wear to an academic conference! I tried searching a variety of websites geared towards academics, but there is almost nothing out there on the subject. Even my trusty friend, Pinterest, had an overwhelmingly diverse array of results for “academic conference outfits” (although there are some cute ideas, hence the link). I did find one very useful piece of advice, though, in the bowels of an internet Q&A page: “don’t be the jerk who shows up in a full suit”.

Considering the fact that I was thinking about splurging on a new suit for this conference, I was beyond grateful for this piece of advice.

Eventually, I settled on a crisp new cardigan, black slacks, and a nice blouse, and I would certainly say that I fit in with what everyone else was wearing. I was actually surprised to see that I was among the better-dressed attendees.

While at this point I can only speak for my experience at one conference, I can recommend something similar for other first-time conference presenters. You want to look nice and professional, but there is no need to go out and buy a full suit. However, despite the fact that I did see several people wearing more casual outfits, I would not recommend going the t-shirt and jeans route either. As a young academic, you have a lot to prove, and looking professional (but not like you are trying too hard) will really help you to look and feel confident and competent.

*update* as a now-veteran conference attendee (I have attended about a dozen conferences in the past 18 months) I can attest that something business casual, like what I wore to my first conference is perfect. I have seen people wear jeans and a nice shirt to conferences, but I think that this is best left for days when you are simply an audience member, rather than a presenter.

How to Pay

A few weeks ago, when I made the decision to quit my job, I did a quick audit of how much I could expect to spend on the conferences to which I have been accepted (I have a total of 7 within a 9 month period), and I was shocked to see that between travel, hotels, and conference fees, I was looking at several thousands of dollars in expenses. The average academic conference costs about $300 to attend and, apart from the conference that I am attending this weekend in DC, I will need to travel for each conference, staying out of town and/or abroad for several days for each.

I reached out to one of my professors/mentors for advice, and boy am I glad that I did! While his first suggestion (asking the department for funding) was unsuccessful, his second suggestion (taking my request to the Dean of my school) resulted in a huge financial relief. While I will not be able to fully fund my conferences through my school, I will be able to receive significant financial assistance.

Before you begin attending conferences, find out if your program or school is willing and able to financially assist students who are planning to attend conferences. If not (or if you need more assistance than your school provides), you can also apply to a number of scholarships for graduate students, which you can put towards your conference expenses. One of my favorite resources is ScholarshipOwl, but there are plenty of free lists out there with some potentially really helpful scholarships.

What to Bring

Business Cards – If you do not have any yet, have some made ASAP! I did not remember to bring any with me to UF, and I instantly regretted this lapse when I began connecting with other speakers. You will meet so many interesting and important people in your field at these conferences, and you want to make sure that they can contact you (and you them) afterwards. *NOTE* make sure that you collect cards from the people you meet and EMAIL THEM ASAP. You may make some valuable connections and you want to reinforce them before you become just another card in their wallet.

Extra Copies of Your Presentation – I have been using Prezi lately for my presentations and, even though it is a beautiful presentation program, I tend to get very stressed out when it is time to present because, with my free account, I cannot put my presentations on a flashdrive. I am thinking that, as I begin attending more conferences, I may need to shell out and pay for the upgrade that will allow me to save a copy of my presentations separately from the website. All that is to say, if you are smarter than me, you should have multiple copies on hand of your presentation, just in case there is an issue. I recommend, at the very least, emailing yourself a copy and having a copy available on a flashdrive, in case either copy does not work. I also recommend printing several copies of your script (if you are using one), in case one gets lost, damaged, etc. Murphy’s Law.

A Buddy – If possible, it is great to have a buddy there with you when you present, especially if that person is in your field. Not only will their presence help with emotional support as you put yourself out there, but it is also helpful to have someone in the audience who you can rely on to ask a question during the Q&A session. Of course this is not always possible, and only really applies to your first experience to help you through your jitters. I had my boyfriend with me for my first conference and, though I luckily did not need him to fill an awkward silence after my presentation, it was such a comfort to have him there silently cheering me on. When you are putting yourself and your work out there to be judged, it helps to know that someone in the audience believes in you.

What to Expect

I honestly had no idea what to expect before my first conference. My imagination pictured any and every possible scenario, from a huge lecture hall filled with peers, to a tiny classroom with two other people in it. In reality, I found myself in a seminar room with about 20 audience members of various academic backgrounds; about half were PhD students, about a quarter were faculty, and the remainder were a mix of undergraduates and family/friends of presenters.

What really surprised me was the relaxed nature of the conference. There was a set schedule, but everything seemed to be very casual and nonchalant; no one was concerned when the projector issues interrupted the schedule, or when one presenter was late so the schedule had to be moved around. It definitely took the pressure off to realize that the people presenting and listening were just people who were there to learn and teach, without making a show of professional superiority.

How to Prepare

Whatever you do, do not be like me. As I am writing this post, I am supposed to be writing my presentation for my next conference (which is happening less than two days from now), and I am procrastinating like you would not believe. The funny thing is, just a few days ago I was crying and yelling in a hotel room, where I swore that I would never procrastinate again, especially for another presentation. I swear to you, I woke up the morning of my presentation without a finished script, without a finished visual presentation, and without having rehearsed at all. I woke at the crack of dawn to get to work, and finally printed my finalized script about 30 minutes before I needed to leave for the conference. DO NOT DO THIS! I thought that I would learn from my first experience, but I have made this mistake over and over again. While my presentations usually go over well, the stress and anxiety are simply not worth it.

Try to have your presentation 90% prepared a week before the conference. This gives you time to practice, edit, and ask for revisions from your professor(s). Have a prepared script that goes over your research in depth and allow your slideshow to guide your talk. In my experience most presenters read straight from their papers, so while presentation skills are important, it is okay to refer to your paper as needed.

What to Do While You are There

Conferences should be as much (if not more) about learning from others as it is about presenting your own research. I have learned more from attending panels, lectures, and exhibits at conferences than in my 22+ years of schooling. Make sure to go through the conference schedule and circle anything of interest and GO! You will have paid an arm and a leg to attend this conference, so get every learning opportunity that you can out of it.

As I mentioned before, you should also be using this opportunity to network like crazy. I missed many opportunities for this during my first few conferences, but eventually one of my professors instilled in me the importance of forming professional connections outside of my own university. I have met and learned from dozens of grad students, faculty, and researchers, and I have managed to create small opportunities for myself along the way (such as chairing MLA panels and award committees). I have even gotten to squeeze my research into a special edition of a competitive journal coming out in 2020 because I had an opportunity to chat with one of the publishers about my research. Network people!

Finally, take this opportunity to visit the hosting city beyond the conference center walls. I have seen more of the USA in the past 18 months than I had in my past 26 years, and it has been a blast! I took my dad with my to Colorado for the RMMLA conference and we had a week of adventures, I visited Vegas (somewhere I never thought I would go but ended up enjoying), and I got to road trip with my (now) fiance to Florida and visit a great-aunt who I had not seen in 20 years. The world is your oyster and there is more to learn at a conference than what panelists have to say.

*Note* at this point I have attended about a dozen conferences both in person and virtually.At this point I would say that everything in this post continues to hold true, but I welcome any suggestions for further advice!

How to Survive Your First Academic Conference **Disclosure** I wrote this entire post in order to avoid making my presentation for a conference...and forgot to finish it until about 18 months later.

5 notes · View notes

drummergirl231-2 · 6 years ago

Text

AU - Huey, Dewey, and Louie’s Father

(Note: I posted this in October 2018, months before “Whatever Happened to Della Duck?!” aired.) I didn’t think over 20 people would be interested in my silly ideas, but you guys surprised me!

I have no idea how things will go in the show regarding the boys’ father (and Della being gravid), but my brain can’t stop trying to fill in story details in the meantime. So without further ado, my AU!

As you can see by this Duck family tree by Carl Barks, HDL’s father had a military-like haircut (and also freaky human-looking ears for some reason, but I ain’t about that) so I had the idea that he was in the army and Della, Donald, and Scrooge are all under the impression he was killed in action (but he wasn’t!).

Della finding out she was gravid:

In my story idea, Della was engaged and her fiance was about to be deployed when they conceived the boys. Donald waited up for Della as usual, and waited, and waited, and made coffee, and waited some more until she finally came home after 4am. After whisper-yelling at each other in the hallway outside their rooms (Donald scolding her for being reckless and Della saying she regrets nothing) they both turned in.

Once Della’s fiance was deployed, Scrooge noticed Della was even more melancholy than the last time (oxytocin is a jerk like that sometimes) so he decided to take Della and Donald on an extended trip to Della’s favorite places. While on the trip, Della started experiencing nausea. Scrooge thought she must have eaten something bad, since, “It’s not like you to get motion sickness, Lass.”

Scrooge decided that Della might be more comfortable in a hotel, so they got a room and ordered a third bed (the rolling kind, which Donald would have slept in only it kept folding in half on him so Della volunteered to sleep in it and it didn’t fold in half on her). Della’s nausea didn’t improve though and she suspected she could be gravid.

One morning, Della took a test and discovered she was gravid. She started freaking out and wondering how she was going to tell Donald and Scrooge when Donald knocked on the bathroom door asking if she was okay. She opened the door and pulled him into the bathroom and shut the door again. She asked where their uncle was and when Donald said he’d already gone downstairs, she held up the positive test. Donald stared at it for a few seconds before saying, “Please tell me that’s a thermometer and your temperature is 11 in some foreign unit,” to which Della shook her head. Her eyes started tearing up and her bill quivered, which was enough to make Donald soften and hug her and promise to be supportive.

She was still pretty nervous about telling Scrooge. Donald tried to encourage her to get it over with as they were leaving the room to go downstairs, and Della turned to him while he fussed with the lock and said that Scrooge was born in the 1800s and would probably disapprove. “If Uncle Scrooge knew I was gravid he probably wouldn’t speak to me again until after the wedding!” “Try me.” Della jumped and realized that Scrooge had been coming up the hallway and heard what she said. Fortunately, he was also more supportive than she thought he’d be.

Her fiance’s supposed death:

After a brief visit to Ithaquack to share her news with Selene and Storkules, they returned home. She had an ultrasound done and the doctor told her it was triplets. She tried to think of a cute way to tell her fiance, who always wanted a big family. One night while she, Donald, and Scrooge were watching a movie, she got a call from her fiance’s mother and stepped outside the room to answer. She told Della he’d been killed in combat and that she didn’t want Della at the funeral (she never approved of the match).

Della started crying but kept her head until the end of the phone call when she started hyperventilating and sobbing, at which point Donald and Scrooge came around the corner and held her, then helped her sit down when it seemed like she was about to faint.

Della later sent a sonogram to his mother to let her know she was going to be a grandmother of triplets. She never replied.

She developed Preeclampsia and had to go on medication before finally delivering her eggs by cesarean with Donald by her side. Afterward she developed Postpartum Depression with frightening intrusive thoughts, leading to her departure on the Spear of Selene and leaving the boys with Donald, who she believed would keep the boys safer than she could.

FAST FOWARD

Della returned from the moon and wrote a book about her ordeal. She got invited to go on a talk show and told some of her story there. Her former fiance was alive though, and one of his buddies saw the interview where she said how she lost him and then told him about it. He watched the interview online and knew he had to contact her.

He called the landline of McDuck Manor and asked to speak to her, without telling Webby (who answered) who he was. Della nearly fainted again when she heard his voice, and he asked how she could have lied like that. She asked what he was talking about and how he could be alive. He countered that she saw him alive and broke up with him because of his wounds and not to deny it. “I’m going to deny it because it’s not true! How could you think I’d leave you? Especially for something like that?” “I wouldn’t have believed it, except I saw you left the ring on the nightstand in my hospital room!”

When he got transferred to a hospital back in the US, he woke up after a surgery to see the engagement ring he gave Della on the nightstand beside his hospital bed. His mother told him Della had been there and when she saw him wounded she called things off. “You mean the ring I’ve been wearing on a chain around my neck all this time?”

They then realized his mother had orchestrated their separation, even going so far as to have a replica ring made, and boy oh boy were they mad. They were excited to meet with each other again, though. “Since you haven’t actually seen me, I should warn you I’m a little lopsided.” “What do you mean?” “I lost my leg.” “How? ...If you’re okay talking about it.” “Well my boys put a firecracker under my chair...” referring to his comrades (a reference to the old comic when HDL put a firecracker under their dad’s chair and he had to stay in the hospital). He was only joking though and he told Della the truth: he’d stepped on a landmine.

He’d suffered from PTSD but was doing much better, and he was actually a successful youtuber doing inspirational workout and hardcore parkour videos despite only having one leg (he does have a prosthetic but he doesn’t always wear it). He hadn’t lost his senses of adventure or humor that Della adored so much.

He’d seen Huey, Dewey, and Louie on TV before but didn’t realize their age and thought Donald must have had kids. He didn’t realize those boys were theirs.

Reunited

After they told off his mother for tricking them and keeping his triplets a secret from him, he and Della started dating again with the intention of finally marrying if all goes well. She gave the real ring back to him so he could propose again properly if the time came. He finally met his sons and started renting a house in Duckburg to be closer to all of them. He was also helpful to Della as she dealt with her own PTSD.

He thanked Donald for everything he’d done for the boys, and asked if he would let him do two things. “What?” “One, I want to start paying child support. I know you have your pride, but I have mine and I want to start taking financial responsibility.” Donald reluctantly agreed since he put up a good argument. “Okay, what else?” “I want to be the king of corny dad jokes. The other night I couldn’t sleep so I started writing out all these dad jokes I could use and imagining them facepalming and rolling their eyes at me. Please let me have this.”

When Halloween rolled around, his boys really got to see the extent of his humor when he said, “Alright boys, I have three ideas. One, your mom and I are thinking of dressing as pirates and I could do the whole peg leg thing, Two, I could be the elf ‘Legless,’ and she could be Tauriel, or three, I could lie on the front walkway of my house with fake blood and gore makeup all over my stump and reach out for help like something just tore off my leg while she bursts out the front door controlling some giant beast puppet.”

The Boys

Louie had a bit of a hard time accepting his dad in his life at first. He didn’t want his mom to move out again when she gets married considering they just got her back, and he didn’t want his mom and dad to take him and his brothers away from their Uncle Donald.

Scrooge held a meeting with Donald, Della, and the boys’ father to discuss options, saying there was a portion of the mansion that was like a separate flat (two bedrooms, a bathroom, a small kitchen and dining/living area) where they could live and have privacy but still be close to the boys (It had been Mrs. Beakley and Webby’s apartment until the separate air conditioner went out one summer and they moved into the main part of the mansion and never got around to moving back because it was a hassle.) They agreed this was a good option while the boys were still growing up as long as the AC was fixed.

Not long after, he and Della got engaged again, and when they got married Scrooge gave Della away and the boys had choreographed a surprise dance at the reception where they took off their tux jackets to reveal t-shirts they’d made. Huey’s said “At last,” Dewey’s said “too legit,” and Louie’s said “to quit!” So it read “At last too legit to quit!” as a joke that they were finally “legitimate.” Their father was so proud of the pun.

Marriage and a New Baby

After they got married, Della got gravid again. She was nervous after her complications last time, but still in a much better place with her true love alive and by her side.

She told Scrooge first by gift-wrapping her test (which was in a plastic bag inside the box since she remembered how squeamish he was about home tests the last time) and she and her hubby gave it to him on his birthday. He was surprised, but so happy he laughed and hugged them both and started tearing up a bit. When his nephew-in-law asked him if he was crying he said, “A Scotsman doesn’t cry, Laddie. He sweats from his eyes.”

They told Donald the next day by giving him a baby onesie that said, “I Have the Best Uncle,” and he reacted very much like Scrooge but didn’t deny his tears.

Then they set up a mystery/scavenger hunt for the boys and the last thing they’d find was a sonogram. Louie just kept looking back and forth from the sonogram to his parents saying “NO WAY!” with a big smile on his face. Huey hugged and nuzzled his mom’s tummy while Dewey started doing parkour tricks off the walls that his dad had taught him.

Della had another c-section since she’d had one last time and didn’t want to risk complications with a natural egg-laying.

Later on when they took the egg to a checkup, they had the doctor write whether the baby was a boy or girl on a piece of paper which they gave to Webby to organize a fireworks display over the Duckburg harbor. They wanted pink fireworks for a girl or blue for a boy.

Della used social media to invite all of Duckburg to the gender reveal party, and they took Donald’s boat out and waited. Lots of other boats were on the water and a crowd had gathered at the harbor. The fireworks shot into the air, and when they exploded, pink sparks filled the sky and everyone cheered. Everyone had hoped for a girl since they had three boys already (even the boys, who wanted an excuse to still watch animated princess movies), and Dewey was so excited he jumped ship with a “WOO-OO!!!” Everyone laughed except Donald, who immediately threw a lifesaver to Dewey, not that he needed one.

When the baby girl hatched, they named her Josephine (Della likes old names and the song “Come Josephine in my Flying Machine”) and everyone called her Jojo since, as Dewey put it, “She’s too little for a name as big as Josephine.” At first they called her Josie but then shortened it even further.

Della took a picture of Scrooge holding Jojo for the first time and smiling as his eyes filled with tears and she posted the photo online. It went viral and Scrooge’s popularity went up when everyone saw his softer side.

And so they all lived happily ever after.

#wow that took a while #ducktales au #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #ducktales 2017 au

36 notes · View notes

justinstares · 6 years ago

Text

The air cargo industry is staring at a tidal wave

Here follows a short conversation between retail giant Amazon and IATA, as imagined by Alex Labonne, chief technology officer at Hermes Cargo Management Systems.

Amazon: “Given that we do pretty well at warehousing, it’s only logical for us to think about moving into ground handling”.

IATA: “You’ve got to use our SITA system, and there are other things…”

Amazon: “Nah, we don’t want to do that.”

IATA: “You must, otherwise you won’t be able to…”

Amazon [interrupting]: “You know what, I’ll use my own airline as well. I’ll use my own protocol, all the way. You guys do whatever it is you do, and we’ll do what we want to do.”

At which point the conversation ends, Amazon walks out, and, in Mr Labonne’s words, “they smash it”, meaning they put anyone who competes with them out of business.

Welcome to the near future.

If industries now rise and fall according to how successfully they collect and manipulate data, air cargo is in trouble.

Despite predictions of volume growth and reassurances that 3D printing will not bring an end to world trade, there was a sense of foreboding among attendees at the Air Cargo Handling conference in Zaventem, on the outskirts of Brussels.

A wave of technological disruption is racing in from the horizon, and companies still operating as if this were the 1990s are set to be swept away.

Data - or rather, good data - is already what separates the profitable from the also-rans. If you can capture enough of it, and if you know how to analyse it, you can squeeze out that extra few percentage points of efficiency from your logistics chain: the 10% that makes the difference between profit and loss.

Alastair Band, who came to Belgium in a search of applications for blockchain technology, talked about Amazon and its plan to ship the goods you haven’t even thought about ordering yet to your nearest distribution centre. If the data predicts that you will buy face-cream this month, because you buy it every other month, then why not have a pot ready and waiting, just a few minutes from your front door?

While the likes of Amazon and China’s Alibaba ramp up their robotics-controlled warehouses, some legacy air cargo handlers still rely on old-fashioned brawn to prepare pallets for loading. Worse still: many are drowning in paper documents.

The amount of paper produced in 2018 by the air cargo industry is an embarrassment, conference panellists agreed. Agents routinely throw away reams at the end of every working day because their customers, believing that everything has been digitalised, don’t bother to pick it up.

‘Digitalisation’ for some in the industry means scanning a paper document and sending it as an email attachment, which would be laughable if it were not for the fact that some haven’t even got this far.

The fact that industry bodies are talking today of developing a worldwide barcode standard says it all. “Come on guys,” commented one attendee. “Bar codes are technology from 20 or 30 years ago, and we’re still scratching our heads asking how we can implement it.”

“Amazon and Alibaba are not waiting,” warned Céline Hourcade, head of cargo transformation at IATA. “The market is susceptible to being shaken up by new entrants.”

Everyone in Zaventem recognised that modernisation was well overdue. There was talk of “making cargo talk” with microchips that could theoretically also measure temperature and any damage-causing shocks. The buzzwords were all there: new facilities must be “future-proof”; drones and artificial intelligence will carve out a niche. All agreed on the need to move on from tracking consignments to individual parcels so as to latch onto the e-commerce wave and compete with the integrators.

But there was the inescapable impression that the old-fashioned ways of doing business, the ways that still predominate, mean the industry of today may not be up to the task. “We come to conferences like this, discuss initiatives and then go home and do nothing,” lamented Hendrik Leyssens, head of operations at Cargo Swissport International.

‘Doing nothing’ has not been ruinous for the past 30 years, but in it could now be fatal.

To start with, those who do nothing are unlikely to profit from the growth in e-commerce. This new business is benefitting integrators rather than traditional handlers, conferences attendees heard.

Legacy companies must “wake up” to the fact that integrators are eating into their heavy cargo business, said Hans Van Shaik, sales manager at Saco Airport Equipment. “E-commerce growth is tremendous,” he said. “Consignments are increasing in weight and integrators are handling 100 kg, 150 kg packages.”

Handlers cannot compete with the integrators’ ability to both keep track of individual items and move them fast.

“It’s going to go worldwide,” Van Shaik (who, let us remember, has equipment to sell) warned. At integrator hubs in Brussels and Liege there are now 300 to 400 workstations, while at Leipzig there are 700, he said. There’s not much difference between shipping a package and shipping a pallet. “If you can do it for parcels, then why not for pallets?” he asked. The slide on the wall behind him showed a piano, which typically weighs 200 kg, being shipped by an express carrier.

Given that e-commerce is supposed to make up for the small drop in volumes that will be lost to 3D printing – estimated to amount to between 2% and 5% of total volumes, mostly furniture - traditional handlers are on the losing side of this equation.

And that’s before the second wave of disruption hits.

Amazon’s fleet of 40 freighters was brought up in almost every conversation during the coffee breaks. When Amazon and Alibaba realise that they can improve their margins by using their own ground handlers, an era will come to an end.

Part of the problem is scale. Handlers without sizeable cashflow don’t have the financial clout to invest in robotics, it was reported. Ludwig Hausmann, a partner at McKinsey & Company, pointed out that Google makes more profit on its own than the entire air cargo industry.

That said, the chief executives of profitable companies have been guilty of complacency.

“Cargo protagonists could have done a whole lot of things, but no-one wants to pay for it,” said Labonne. “The standards are low and not good enough, especially the heavy standards. If people want to survive the Amazon or the Alibaba, they have to invest. The fragmentation is a lot of the time in people’s minds.”

Attempts by IATA and others to encourage the spread of technology with top-down standards are doomed to failure because that’s not how technology propagates, says Labonne. Trying to pick a winning standard, much like attempts to predict which hardware or software will be used in the next five to ten years, is futile. “Have we heard this before?” asks Labonne. “We have heard it forever. Everyone’s going to have the same laptop, the same desktop”. Every two years comes the latest trend, and the predictions are soon forgotten and recast.

“Things don’t evolve that way,” Labonne continues. “For me, interfaces are always between two protagonists. That’s fragmented, but that’s the way the world is. Believe you me, Amazon systems are not that standardised, not that uniform. That’s how Amazon managed to grow so quickly.

“They weren’t too fussed about a uniform support. What they were fussed about is that when they had interfaces, they were tested. If somebody broke something, it was known.” Tolerant systems, rather than rigid standards, allow for patching and growth. “You have to be stringent with what you send and tolerant with what you receive, it’s called Postel’s Law,” says Labonne, quoting one of the guiding principles of data interchange over the internet.

“In terms of interfaces, we all speak different languages, we all operate differently. When you try to string [a new standard] across the world, you’re chasing windmills. You’ll be the Don Coyote swinging at windmills. Half the people will use it and the other half won’t” because the other half simply don’t want to.

Cargo intermediaries should instead make their interfaces public and allow others to link up without any top-down imposition. “It’s an organic system, and that’s how things grow,” says Labonne. “This is how Alibaba and Amazon have grown.” Attempts to force transport onto one single standard are “irrelevant”. It’s the equivalent of carving principles on stone tablets, he says.

Given that few in the industry are prepared to take the coming threat seriously, and given that it will soon be too late, the best hope for legacy players might be to become food for predators. “If the Amazon wave happens, the race will be about who is going to be bought,” says Labonne. “I think everyone has to invest a bit more. That to me is the biggest issue.”

While the fatalistic mind set seemed to have taken hold among many conference attendees, it was not universal. “It isn’t going to happen,” said Sebastiaan Scholte, chairman of The International Air Cargo Association (TIACA) and ceo of Jan De Rijk Logistics. “Alibaba can’t compete with the belly network,” Scholte said. He then pondered, and added: “Anyway, this industry needs disrupting.”

The worldwide network of belly capacity would indeed be difficult for the giant retailers to recreate quickly, unless drones become commonplace. This argument would suggest however that handlers could well be pushed onto minor, secondary routes as the Alibaba et al set up shop.

The problem, in essence, is that the fragmented air cargo industry suffers from low levels of trust. “We have to stop keeping data to ourselves,” was the recurring conference refrain.

The advantages of sharing data were laid out. The automobile industry has managed to reduce the cycle for producing new models from seven years to two through collaboration.

While some attendees were wringing their hands ahead of what could be an apocalypse, others have been spurred to action.

Citing Amazon’s fleet investment as one of the triggers, the Brussels airport air cargo community has with the financial support of the Flemish Government over the last two years worked hard to “demolish the silos” between the various players in the logistics chain. Via a not-for-profit umbrella organisation, 142 cargo community members have pooled their training and lobbying efforts. Their jointly-created applications for slot booking and customs clearance have brought about efficiencies, bringing down clearance times in particular. Members lend their experts to the many community steering committees, while youngsters are encouraged to bond, literally, at speed-dating evenings.

Zaventem did witness some inspired thinking. Why not combine baggage handling with express parcels under the arrivals lounge, one member of the audience asked? But the airports themselves were seen as a brake on innovation. Airport owners are often unsympathetic to the needs of the air cargo industry. Given that passengers and duty free bring in more profit, will handlers inevitably be pushed further and further from the runway?

Will full freighters be forced to operate exclusively from secondary airports? Should airports be publicly owned so as to reflect the interests of all users, not just the most profitable sectors? Can airport designers be lobbied before they lay down their plans?

To get to the root cause of what now afflicts air cargo, it may be necessary to go back to the drawing board. But if that’s just not feasible, handlers will have to make do with the latest iteration of track-and-trace systems (such as the one being put together by pharmaceutical handlers).

The parting image was one of a circular firing squad made up of handlers shouting “share your data” at each other. Or else.

#trade #air cargo #disrupt

2 notes · View notes

literalcreativeidiot · 6 years ago

Text

Reset. || November 17th, 2018.

“So how’s Stink doing? I miss the little fart machine.”

“He’s fine. I’ve slowly but surely weaned him off your scent so he’ll be good eventually.”

“And Princess?”

“Wouldn’t have noticed you were gone even if I went blue in the face telling her about it.”

“That’s my girl!”

It wasn’t the first time the two—Maxine and Derrick—walked the halls of the Staples Center during an event to just have idle chatter and “shoot the shit” as it were. However, this time was different. There was a sense of comforting realization that had swept over them as they walked through the busy halls during this day.

Derrick had always had a ritual when it came to the Takeover events that came 24 hours before one of the marquee pay-per-views. For some reason, he didn’t know why, he always liked to come by and take in the atmosphere as a quasi-fan/member of the writing staff that was just there to watch the process unfurl. Gave him a new perspective and, of course, free access to catering and one of the lush seating areas to watch the show in peace without being annoyed. Weird quirk that came from him being a fan all these years that he’d wanted to take in a show in the most fully immersive way he could without being amongst the chatter. Method to his madness so to speak. This was also the first time the two of them walked the halls of an arena together since her departure.

They had talked it over for a while—her potentially leaving the company after her many years of service to go be part of something she always wanted to do. And when that opportunity came, she leapt at it, though not without a decent level of consternation. If before, she couldn’t dream of leaving then why did she jump on the first thing screaming out of town? Especially if it meant being away from her beloved. And why wouldn’t he create much of a stink about it and readily resign himself to them being, essentially, bicoastal in a long-distance relationship? Sketchy, but they never really shared the details with everyone.

“So how’ve you been? I know it’s been like...a month or so since you were out here and we haven’t really talked all that much because work but still. How are you?” Maxine said, folding her arms underneath her chest as she stood in front of him.

“Doing what I do best: working, listening to true crime documentaries and trying to figure out if I can finagle my way into tax exempt status.” Derrick joked, the corners of his mouth peeking up with a grin. “But for real, I’m good, though. Haven’t had an episode or drank too much to the point where I say too much about anything. Really, just taking shit one day at a time as per usual.”

“So basically you haven’t spiraled. That’s good to hear; makes me feel better and I don’t have to worry as much.” She said, sliding a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“I see how you dealt with things.” He said, reaching his hand out to swipe his fingers over the deep dark red-colored bangs that hung over her forehead. “Cutting your own bangs...again. Wise move.”

She shook her head vehemently as a means to move from his hand, letting out a laugh at his assertion. “What, I’m the only one who makes rash choices with their hair? I got annoyed, briefly, and did it, saw the result, freaked out for like fifteen minutes and then I decided the best course of action was to distract people from it by wearing low cut tops and tilting my head at different angles. Hats are the next option!”

“You can’t put a big floppy hat on everything and expect it to just not catch everyone’s attention. It doesn’t work that way.” Derrick responses with a chuckle, shaking his head.

“Try me, okay? It can happen.”

It was something that he admired in her, the irrational confidence she had that she could do and pull off mostly anything. Made it easier to shrug things off if and when they went awry and to celebrate when it went as planned. Method to the madness, as one would say.

“So how are things back over there? Neighbors haven’t noticed I was gone all that much?” Maxine asked as the two took a seat at an empty table in the concession area, far enough away so people wouldn’t be interrupting their conversation all that much.

“Things are fine; Halloween was a mess. One of the houses got tagged with the phrase, ‘I wouldn’t fuck her with Elvis’ dick’.” He stated, shoulders bouncing up and down as he tried to contain his laughter.

“Oh, God—was it the Johnson Twins?” She beamed with a laughter, reaching a hand out to rest on his forearm.

“Of course it was the Johnson Twins. They’re the only ones who would do something that incredibly dumb.”

There were a few beats of silence that was gradually getting drowned out by the typical mix of chatter that came from people congregating in the arena. It allowed the two of them to look at each other with seemingly pleasant expressions on their faces, taking the time to collect their thoughts.

“So….have you told anyone yet?” She asked after clearing her throat, turning her head and scratching the back of her neck.

“You mean outside of Dad, Melinda, Casey, and Kat? Nope. Not a single word. Not yet at least.”

“Derrick.” She chastised him playfully, giving him a look that could best be described as ‘what the fuck’.

“What?! I don’t need to tell everyone about everything. They’ll know when I feel the time in right.” He offered up a shrug, drumming his fingertips along the surface of the table. “Who knows; I could easily go into the New Year if I’m determined enough.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Maxine shook her head at his attempt at justification. She knew he had a knack for doing this sort of thing. Being evasive when he didn’t need to for reasons that were beyond her after all these years.

“So you’re just gonna not tell people that we haven’t been a thing for close to two and a half months and that’s why I moved to Burbank in addition to me getting this new job?”

“Yeah because I’m weird like that. And because I don’t wanna cause there to be speculation and hearsay. Y’know, typical high school nonsense that I’m too old for.”

The nonchalant nature of the two of them confirming their separation wasn’t exactly something shocking to either of them if the people who knew them well enough took it as any indication. Having seen each other and how they were after disastrous breakups, the fact that neither of them were on the verge of real self-destructive behavior was a sign to both of them that they were somehow at peace.

Like skipping all the prior stages of grief just to get to the acceptance stage.

“They’re gonna find out eventu—you’re totally planning on just showing up one day with a new girlfriend and act like it’s a Tuesday.” Maxine stated, remembering the last time he pulled that move back in their early twenties.

“It worked before. And as long as questions aren’t asked, it’ll work again. I know you don’t go to church but have faith.”

“Mister ‘I tell people I go commando at home’ isn’t gonna divulge who he’s been fucking? Who are you, and what have ya dun with muh Derrick?” Maxine said, peppering the last statement with the faux-concerned Southern Belle accent that caused both of them to laugh.

“What, you want me to just up and say the nitty gritty of everything? Give them the ol’ Inside The Actors Studio about my dating life? C’mon, Max.”

“I don’t mean give them the blow-by-blow analysis but yeah, tell folks so they’re not left wondering or assuming shit.”

“And to think, we could’ve signed NDA’s about this whole thing, Max.”

She shook her head in response with a laugh and a smile, noting that he really couldn’t turn that bit of charm off him even if he tried. They stayed silent for a few seconds, letting whatever laughter die down so they could ease their way back into conversation.

“....is it weird that I’m not feeling torn up inside about all of this?” She inquired, biting at the corner of her bottom lip as her eyes settled on his. It was as if she was doing her best to search in his eyes to find the answer she was looking for. Trying to get a read on him before he could say anything.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing. Makes me not feel as weird for not wanting to go into a breakup depression spiral. Is this how normal, functioning adults handle the end of their relationships?”

“No, most of them get into a bitter divorce battle that crippled them financially and makes them hate the person they professed to love in the eyes of the Lord.” Maxine answered with a shrug.

“Well, that’s a damn shame. For them anyway.”

To them, it was good that they were at least able to find a way to joke about this like it was a normal thing. It was a coping mechanism that they hadn’t grown out of since they knew each other and wasn’t something they were going to shy away from, especially during such a time of uncertainty between the two of them. Whatever small laughter there was between them had settled into another few beats of that uneasy silence most people would try to fill with witty banter or small talk.

“For the record, I’m not bitter or harboring resentment toward you.” Derrick begun to say, setting her head perk up to look at him as she had spent the last few moments blankly staring at her left hand. They never really wore their wedding rings outside of special occasions but they had both been feeling the nakedness of it not being on their ring finger for the past number of weeks. “I don’t hate you—don’t even think I’m capable of hating you. I mean if we were having this conversation six months ago, I think you and I would feel completely different than we do now and wouldn’t easily find our way to a comfort zone like we have.”

“Well, six months ago, there probably would’ve been a fight and both of us saying something we didn’t mean and accelerating the process by months instead of what we did: Try to navigate why we were feeling the way we felt until we came to the ultimate conclusion.”

“That that romantic love we once had and were running on—that flame burnt out when we weren’t looking. Sucks but it happens even if you try to stop it from happening.”

“We took the path less traveled. The one that didn’t lead into a belligerent shouting match on the front lawn of a house in a Long Island suburb. Guess that counts for something, huh?” Maxine rhetorically asked, face scrunched up with a small smile. She reached out to grab his wrist, flipping it over to reveal the matching tattoo they had gotten over a decade ago in correspondence to the one she had in the same area. Her thumb lightly grazed over the scar that his tattoo had been covering, biting at the corner of her lip. “You won’t be able to get rid of me all that easy; you know that, right? I’ll always be with you.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, Red.” He replied with a knowing smirk, uttering the same nickname he gave her when they first met. “Even though we live on opposite ends of the country, I’m still a phone call or text away. You know that. For anything: If you wanna talk about your day, tell me about some adventure you took in San Fernando Valley, boyfriend troub—well, no. Not boyfriend troubles. At least not yet; that’d be weird.”

She first responded with a laugh, shaking her head from side to side as her other hand covered her face slightly.

“No, I definitely won’t be calling you up to talk about boy troubles and likewise, I don’t think you’ll do the same with whatever girl or girls decide they wanna make your life hell. More postcards from places you visited, though. I liked the ones you sent over from Manchester. But yes, the feeling is mutual; one call or text away, like always.”

“Like always. Despite everything else, that? That won’t ever change, I promise.”

“Of course.”

They weren’t going to lie to each other. By the seemingly sudden (to people who knew them anyway) nature of their separation, things were going to change in their lives much like it did two years ago when they first got together and wanted to see what it all meant for them to give it the ol’ college try. But in the end, they found that they couldn’t fake it with one another long enough to “right the ship” as it were. In the end, it became the sobering wake up call the two of them needed.

He remembered the conversation as clear as day. Hell, they both did. A semblance of dancing around the fact that neither of them were feeling the same way they did before. That madly in love feeling had dissipated before their very eyes and they didn’t know how or what to do to prevent the slow moving avalanche from already gaining steam. Like most things, once the levees break, there’s no real chance at fixing the leak in the dam.

Tears flowed during that conversation, reminiscing about fun times they had had together that were fleeting quickly. And then, in relative silence, they worked to make the landing for each other as smooth as possible, the last vestiges of two people who loved one another beyond being husband and wife, the two best friends that had known each other for over a decade. It sucked but in many ways, for them, it was therapeutic more than anything else, really. Far more than they wanted to admit anyway.

They had both gotten up from their seats to embrace in a hug, quietly enjoying the close warmth of one another once more until they could see each other again in the future. She rubbed his back and shut her eyes, nodding as he kept his arms locked around her waist.

“You take care of yourself, alright?” Derrick uttered as he looked at her, hands resting on her hips. “If you need anything, just call.”

“Okay. I will. And you don’t worry so much. Don’t overthink shit and keep your head above the clouds, okay? Wouldn’t wanna have to straighten you up again.” Maxine uttered jokingly, shaking her head at him.

“I’ll replace all my worries with true crime factoids and even more useless information.”

“So more doubling down, eh? On brand behavior.”

With shared chuckles, they departed from their embrace—almost unceremoniously, really. There wasn’t really much for either of them to say afterwards; what was done is done and all they had left was to go on with the next phase of their lives. Her, heading to another part of the building, possibly leaving, and him going off to do his usually pre-show scrounging. And really, that’s how it had to be.

The reset button had been hit by the two of them, from once a couple back to the best of friends again, though there’s the not-so small wrinkle of the last two and a half years of their lives being so intertwined with one another. Whatever the case may be, things were different. They were different and they both went about accepting that as their immediate truth.

#(written things)#(wt: reset)#(backdated)#((I wanted to post this on saturday but my computer acted like a bitch and I didn't finish it))#((sooooo here it is as sort of an explanation of why derrick's been weird...weirdER than usual))#((here have fun with all this mess))#((I used small text and cut it so it didn't clog the dash on mobile))#((I also spoke to cyndi about this and cleared it with her so everything is all good and I'm not godmoding or anything like that))#((anyway sorry for your thumbs kthnxbyeeeee))

12 notes · View notes

rkxhyunjin · 6 years ago

Photo

♥ KT ENTERTAINMENT’S SEPTEMBER EVALUATIONS: SOLO PERFORMANCE - IF THE WORLD WAS A PERFECT PLACE

hwang hyunjin’s vocal and rap performance of verbal jint’s if the world was a perfect place for kt entertainment’s september evaluations focusing on family

Standing on stage feels different this time – nerve wracking in a way that he hadn’t experienced during the MGAs.

This evaluation brings many new things for Hwang Hyunjin. His palms sweat as he gets up on stage, taking the microphone and feeling oddly exposed without a dance routine to let him escape from his own head during the performance. A performance without a dance. A performance without sign. A performance with singing that lasted more than five seconds. A performance as a trainee.

Centre stage, he stops and bows to the coaches, introducing himself with stiff formalities. It doesn’t escape Hyunjin that he’s the youngest in the room, in the entire company even. The youngest who is experiencing everything for the very first time – all before he graduates high school. Some might feel as if this was an accomplishment to be proud of, and in a way, Hyunjin is proud that he of all people managed to make his way onto this stage. But he’s also keenly aware of the distance that separates him and other trainees. Then again, it’s not something that he’s ashamed of, in fact, it spurs him on to work harder and to push himself more. Another goal in a long line of many.

“My name is Hwang Hyunjin, a recent addition to KT entertainment after the Mnet Global Auditions Season Four. I primarily dance, but today I’ll be rapping and singing Verbal Jint’s If the World Was A Perfect Place for the September 2018 Evaluations revolving around family”.

More of a melodic rap than anything else, when he raps it comes with a newfound flow that he had yet to experiment with before this evaluation. There’s an ease to the rhythm that he finds comfort in. A raw emotion that doesn’t feel as if he’s pushing on the verge of desperation or anger as most other raps tend to lean into.

Singing has never been Hyunjin’s strong suit, but then again, he hasn’t put much effort into singing before this. Really, the only time he tried with singing before was during the final group performance of the MGAs. It was then he found, that in all honesty, singing wasn’t that bad. So he approaches this song with soft interest, quietly practising the lines one by one so as to develop that ease the original singer seems to posses. Of course, he doesn’t sing it in the original female key (although his singing has improved, it’s not that good) - transposes it down until it’s at a comfortable range for him. Maybe if this went well he would think about pursuing singing a little more than before.

If the world was perfect You’d be with me right now And all the bad things that happen to the poor people Would never happen at all

On his first day of school, Hyunjin cries. His mother frets and signs to him that she can’t stay as the teacher gently tries to pry him away. She has work today and while all the other children and their parents get to spend the first day together, Hyunjin has to spend it alone. (Simply taking a day off work isn’t an option when your household relies on you keeping the job).

Everyone here is so noisy and loud. He hates it. All he wants to do is go home and hide under the covers. At least at home it’s quiet enough that he can hear his own thoughts.

I’ve been going through some pains No matter how much I drink and sing In a corner of my heart Something dark takes place And it won’t get erased

Why must people be so cruel? Classmates call him weird and ask him why he can’t speak Korean. When he fidgets with his hands out of sheer habit, they stare at him like he’s grown a second head. They ask if his parents are bad people because their parents told them that only bad people are punished like that.

Adults are even crueller. When they think you aren’t listening, when they think you’re deaf they think they can say whatever they want. More so than children, they have the vocabulary to hurt and even if Hyunjin doesn’t always understand everything they say, he knows. Murmurings of retard and halfwit fills his childhood vocabulary and when he asks his teacher what they mean she tells him never to repeat those words to another person because they’re very bad.

If they’re so bad, why do adults think they can say them to him and his family?

Like the cats that wander the streets I wanna avoid all people Hip-hop gets hard to listen to All the news in the media Makes me feel depressed is this the human nature

Every once in a while Hyunjin finds himself in a state where just the thought of leaving his room in the morning makes him want to hide away under his bed. Where the thought of being around people makes his skin crawl. All that nonsensical noise that surrounds the outside twists his stomach into knots. Nonsensical sounds that are meant to form sentences haunt him, reminding him of the environment he lives in – of the one he’s blessed with, but the one he can barely stand at times.

I did sing about the power of optimism But I’ve always been curious What is the reason for an unwanted sacrifice? When did anger start to making people criticize?

They live in a silent middle ground. It’s only been two years since Korean Sign Language was adopted as an official language with equal status to Korean. Almost one hundred and thirty years of history and only the past two years have declared Korean Sign Language as equal to spoken Korean. How is Hyunjin supposed to be optimistic in a society that only just recently acknowledged such a major part of his identity.

The order of life gets decided with the difference of class Lines are drawn between Gyeongsang and Jeolla, between female and male How many diamonds in the rough are losing their chance to shine brightly? I wish someone would answer me Why won’t the pho restaurant give me cilantro?

Lines were drawn long before Hyunjin was born, long before his parents were born. Dividing the hearing from the deaf, separating the two worlds and crowding the deaf into tight suffocating conventions defined only by those who could hear. One might be surprised by the amount of companies that lead with an unspoken rule that the deaf were un-hireable.

If the world was perfect You’d be with me right now And all the bad things that happen to the poor people Would never happen at all

I could only pray I could only pray I could only pray I could only pray pray for a better world

If the world was perfect, Hyunjin’s parents wouldn’t be limited by the fact that they couldn’t hear. They wouldn’t be limited when it came to accessing quality education, when it came to applying to universities, when it came to entering the workforce. Opportunities would be equal for the hearing and deaf alike.

If the world was perfect Corporal punishment wouldn’t be discussed among children But among immature adults

Hyunjin is forced to grow up faster than his peers – childhood innocence quickly stripped of the safety that came with blissful ignorance of the world. He’s turning seven this year, and if he sits at the very edge of his seat his feet just barely touch the floor. They hang loosely in front of him right now, kicking the air as he looks down at his grey socks peeking out from the gap between his shoes and uniform’s hemline. To his side sits his mother, in front of him, his teacher. It’s one of few parent-teacher conferences, but one of the first Hyunjin spends translating each and every word between them as if he wasn’t the very person they were talking about.

If the world was perfect Rappers who walk their own path would be successful Even without Show Me the Money

Sometimes his mother reminisces about how much fun she had had learning in school. The education system for the deaf is weak at best, often only offering meagre scrapings leftover by the rest of the school systems. Even in the school meant for the deaf, more than half of the teachers don’t know sign language – what type of positive education could that possibly provide?

If this place was perfect The brave tenants that saved the fly-infested streets Would be able to have a louder voice toward their landlords

One winter when Hyunjin is still small (smaller than Hyunjin can even properly remember), their heat doesn’t start working until mid-February. Despite his parents’ requests, the landlord doesn’t come around to fix the problem until Hyunjin has gotten used to wearing his winter coat indoors. The first thing he sees in the morning is his own frosty breath. Too small to understand his situation, it only occurs later to him that the landlord had simply taken his time to fix the problem because he could – Hyunjin’s parents weren’t capable of complaining to anyone, especially when no one was willing to listen.

If this place was perfect My father wouldn’t have given up due to financial reasons same old story

It’s in casual passing that his father tells him of his previous hobby of photography. A few years out of high school, his father had won a photography competition and initially, he had actually considered pursuing it. In the end, he didn’t. Even with photography, the limitations were astronomical. Without the artist able to verbally network and sell their own work, it made the photographer hardly marketable. The profession itself was unstable, and it was already hard for someone in the deaf community to find a job – he wouldn’t want to lose his spot as a photographer without any proper work experience to back up on. It was too risky.

I’m writing these lyrics in a not so perfect country You can call me a middle school emo I made a lot of money I don’t care if I don’t make it on the top of the charts

Progress is a hard thing to come by when you’re young. Constantly, Hyunjin is discounted because of his age, because of what they deem inexperience in life when he believes he’s long since well-versed in the fractured city they live in. Whenever he brings up an injustice, he is always too young to fully understand it. A child like him ought to sit down and focus on their studies, focus on learning that the injustice that he sees is in fact non-existent. The injustice that he witnesses is simply part of the system. A feature, not a fault.

If I was perfect I would’ve held onto her earlier But I’ve already come too far

It’s these condescending words that push Hyunjin to grow up faster. He wants to grow up faster so that people will listen to him when he speaks. So that people won’t call him a whining teenager when he tells them exactly what is wrong with their city. Lingering in his childhood was never an option for Hyunjin. It was never an option, yet it was also the path he had chosen for himself, and he was going to see it out until the end.

If the world was perfect You’d be with me right now And all the bad things that happen to the poor people Would never happen at all

I could only pray I could only pray I could only pray I could only pray pray for a better world Oh if the world was a perfect place

Instead of facing each other And pointing fingers with hate We would acknowledge each other’s beauty

pray the world was a perfect place I’m singing with a prayer I’m prayin’ and I know

If the world was perfect people wouldn’t say such cruel things. They take advantage of those that they think can’t defend themselves, can’t hear the insults that curl against their tongues in inflections of tones meant to hurt. But even if they can’t hear, those in the deaf community have long since found other ways to read someone. Body language gives away more than one could imagine. It gives away the snide curl in one’s lips when they insult a deaf person right to their face, thinking that they can safely get away with it if the person can’t hear them. It gives away the subtle roll of the policeman’s eyes when Hyunjin explains for the third time that his parents couldn’t have heard someone break in because they’re deaf. It gives away his father’s stiffened hand around his own as he notices his son staring up at the strangers waiting at the bus stop, clearly gossiping.

I’m not the only one I could only pray I could only pray I could only pray I could only pray pray for a better world pray pray pray pray pray pray

#rksep18eval #«　era: hhj.kt　»#（　evaluations　）#【　noise　】#【　silence　】#【　music　】#[#tw: bullying #tw: slurs #]

3 notes · View notes

texanredrose · 7 years ago

Text

Dear Diary - July

July 4th- Dear Diary, Father called today. He tried weaseling around the terms of our agreement but I held firm. I know quite well that he doesn’t approve of the fact I’m attending the gala with a date he hasn’t personally vetted but he doesn’t get to have a say in who I include in my life anymore. In the back of my mind, I’m also highly aware he would object to everything about Blake, strictly for his own poor opinions and not because Blake is anything but a stellar individual and a sweet, heartfelt soul. Ultimately, it was foolish of me to talk her into attending the gala without first ensuring she understood the... full situation. The world I knew growing up was so enclosed that the realities of the world at large have yet to truly trickle in, old grudges and outdated views holding firm when they have no good reasons to cling to them except out of vain pride. I’ve made mention of severing ties with Father, but I never told anyone aside from Winter the details. Blake and I are supposed to go for a jog tomorrow morning; I will address it then. I tried calling her but the words caught in my throat and I...

I realize- not for the first time- that Blake is a better friend than I truly deserve. She picked up on my sour mood and turned the conversation away from my family and the gala entirely, pulled me into a discussion about a show I’ve never even heard of but now am interested in seeing. She’s made a claim that I can’t possibly see working in even the most abstract fictional sense and started discourse over the whole debacle, so now I feel compelled to witness for myself to see if my mind changes. We’re having a little watch party at her place on Friday- provided our conversation tomorrow goes well, I suppose- and the reprieve was nice. But I can’t help feeling like going to the gala- although an event I am required to attend- is a huge mistake.

Winter understands- perhaps better than Blake or Ruby ever could. She’s been separated from that world for longer but she knows what’s to come. Everyone will ask about her service, about why it ended, and she won’t lie- we’ve spent far too much of our lives lying to everyone and ourselves. She’ll square her shoulders and tell nothing but the truth with clear pride and from that moment on, everything will be different. From the moment Penny’s brought up, Winter will go from respectable former service member to an irresponsible single mother in their eyes- because staying in a loveless marriage where both of you cheat on the other like most people drink water is somehow the morally righteous avenue in comparison. And that she’s adopted? The circumstances around that adoption? Perish the thought of caring for another person out of something other than blood compelled obligation or financial opportunity. It makes my blood boil.

Even as I’m writing this, Blake’s checking up on me via text. Ruby, too, though she seemed busier nowadays. I know she’s been spending more time with Penny and I’m glad my niece- which... I suppose I haven’t been thinking of her as such until recently, but that is the proper familial relation- is becoming friends with my best friend. It’s... strange, in a way, because even though it’s only Winter and I now as blood relatives... I feel as if I have a bigger, more supportive family now than at any other point in my life.

I know I started this diary with the express intention of chronicling my exasperation with Winter and Yang but... it does feel nice to write the words ‘I feel very loved right now’ in my own handwriting and know that I fully mean them.

And now Yang’s texting me. I guess Blake enlisted everyone’s assistance to cheer me up. I wonder what her response would be if I jokingly referred to her as my future sister-in-law. Jokes of that nature are typically her domain but... well, maybe it takes speaking in a language she understands to get her to notice Winter’s advances.

Regardless, it’s just occurred to me that I do have quite an extensive support network and I should set up contingencies. In the event Blake still wants to attend the gala with me, I should have a back-up plan; I think I’ll reach out to Pyrrha, see if she’s free that evening and could stay in the area if a hasty exit is required. Winter and I may be mandated to remain at the event but, if either Blake or Yang begin feeling uncomfortable- I don’t see the latter missing out on anything falling within the classical definition of a ‘party’ but Winter seems adamant- they can leave at any time they wish.

I already envy them that freedom.

July 5th- Dear Diary, Again, I find myself a bit amazed. Blake possesses a very intricate understanding of the worst case scenario and she seemed rather blasé about the whole thing. I don’t believe for a second she’s that confident in facing those stuffy morons at the gala- I can see in her eyes how she wants to balk and run- but she’s going to try and I’ll always admire her courage to try when every instinct screams at her otherwise. Also, our jog went a bit... longer than either of us expected; we both forgot the initial limit we’d set and just... kept running. Our conversation took so many turns- I actually find myself looking forward to the possibility that someone might incense her enough to pull a passionate rant from her mid gala. It would be glorious to witness and being able to say she’s my date to all the stupefied morons? Priceless.

Also, my conversation with Yang last night drew on a bit longer and I... was reminded of a few things. I sometimes forget that she plays her cards so close to the vest, to use a phrase, and hides her turmoil behind a mask of support. I suppose effectively raising Ruby on her own had some bearing on the way she always seems to keep her troubles to herself rather than ‘burden’ her friends with such thoughts, but that’s what we’re here for, damnit, and I’ll not stand idly by when something is bothering my friend and potential future sister-in-law.

After a lot of work, I managed to ferret the issue out of her. It seems she’s a bit intimidated about the gala. While she’s promised to dial back her puns and brash demeanor, she worries she’ll embarrass either myself or Winter, and while her heart’s in the right place, neither of us are worried about such. I tried to assure her of that but I’m quite certain my words fell on deaf ears; I forget, also, that she’s not as confident in herself as many believe. A cocky strut and a large smile can fool many but her vulnerabilities are there, if one looks close enough. On the upside, it provided a perfect opportunity to provide her Winter’s number, if only so she could see for herself that Winter has utmost confidence in her. That seemed to lift her spirits but, as of yet, she hasn’t reached out to Winter.

I swear, these two will be the death of me.

July 9th- Dear Diary, I spoke to Pyrrha and it turns out she and Nora have plans the night of the gala to see a movie. The theatre isn’t too far from the museum, so they’ll be in the area and happy to provide their assistance. Well, I’m not so sure about the ‘happy’ part; Nora didn’t seem entirely enthused but Pyrrha managed to talk her into it. Not sure what’s going on with those two but they’ve certainly been hanging around each other more often as of late. Probably a good thing; Pyrrha could use a little of Nora’s effortless ability to relax and just be goofy while Nora could certainly use a lesson or two in conducting herself according to... well, common decency. I swear, half the time, I think she purposefully ignores well established etiquette just to see how many people she can rile up, but she means well. I think.

At any rate, this secures Yang and Blake a back-up plan in the event things go south. Another round of assurances have occurred in the past day, going every which way- and I mean that literally.

Winter has talked to me, promised to intervene if Father gets up to his usual tricks, which he no doubt will, and I assured her that I’d rather he do his best to tear us both down rather than just one of us suffer the consequences. I think it helps ease her mind that I’m willing to stand beside her, knowing quite well the hell we’re going to be walking into, but we both broke free of that world. If we must return, it won’t be alone. Funny, to think there was a time I envied her so greatly, I refused to talk to her. I suppose children aren’t the best equipped to handle the figurative minefields we navigated in our youth. It’s nice to think that she’s on my side, firmly; that we have each other’s backs. I think... I think one of these days, I should apologize for holding so much against her without saying a word...

Anyway, after ensuring that we were on the same page, we then had to deal with Yang and Blake. I’m not sure which of us had it harder, to be frank. I opted to try again explaining to Blake the sort of environment she’ll be walking into... it brought a considerable amount of shame to my heart to admit how awful these people are, and how I aspired to be exactly like them at one point in my life. Although I never said as much, I think she might’ve picked up on my fears that I’m truly no better, and she... well, did her usual Blake thing and offered for us to show up at the gala and then immediately run away, find a nice ice cream parlour, and settle down for a treat. While I’m not sure if her advocacy for avoiding the whole thing came from jest or seriousness, it made me laugh, because I honestly think it would be a much better way to spend an evening. Ice cream with a dear friend beats sitting in my apartment watching reruns and doing paperwork, anyway, and I do so enjoy her company. Alas, that seemed to be the extent of her concern regarding the events, and she’s steadfast in her courage to handle the whole ordeal with that quiet little smile of hers. I’ve recently begun to think how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends, and Blake comes in very high on that list.

However, by bringing it up again, it seems I unintentionally gave Blake the idea that I might want to take someone else instead. Preposterous, mind- no one else can read Yang half as well, aside from Ruby, and I’ll not be bringing that miniature tornado anywhere near these morons for fear she’ll either become embarrassed or challenged, neither of which would end well for all parties involved- and it took a fair amount of time to convince her otherwise. Truthfully, I can’t imagine bringing anyone else with me, not only to keep an eye on Winter and Yang but because I don’t think I’d want to have anyone else at my side when the vultures begin to circle. Blake’s seen... well ‘my worst’ is a bit misleading, since I’d like to think I’d grown a bit by the time we met, but certainly not my best. She’s seen the ugly side, the part I’m still trying to weed out from my soul, and knowing that I’m walking back into the garden where it grows wild- again I find myself questioning if this is the right decision to make. But that’s what the back-up plan is for, I must remember that. I’m a Schnee and I plan for every eventuality.

Anyway, setting aside the myriad of thoughts pinging around my head regarding this ridiculous gala, there’s what little I’ve gleaned about the communications between Yang and Winter, from the four most reliable sources.

From Winter’s perspective, she’s done everything she can to assure Yang that her presence is not only wanted but welcomed, and that anyone who makes her feel otherwise will be ‘dealt with’- a fine, empty threat at first, but there are times when I see a look come into Winter’s eyes I haven’t seen since her days in the military, and I’m not so sure ‘empty’ is the proper word. Of course she wouldn’t hold it against Yang if she didn’t want to go- really, neither of us could- but welcomed the company, and supposedly she admitted that she’s looking forward to seeing Yang in her dress again. It's both strange and fascinating to watch how quickly those jagged, rough edges from our childhood and beyond are melted away when Winter talks about Yang. I think 'smitten' is putting it lightly; I don't doubt Winter would fight the whole Atlesian army with one arm behind her back if Yang asked her to, and she'd do it with a smile. It's actually adorable and I never thought that would be an apt description for my little sister.

From Yang's take, I'm beginning to think this attraction goes much deeper for her. Not to say Winter's interest is purely superficial but it suddenly occurred to me that Yang never really showed much hesitation entering romantic relationships before or flirting with whoever caught her eye. She's dated before- and run the gambit as far as potential partners go- but the prospect of asking someone out or being asked out always seemed like no big deal. It might happen, it might not, but she didn't seem to concern herself with the outcome a great deal. Now, though? I swear, it's like she's worried the world might end if she makes the wrong move. Suddenly, every little thing she does matters, and it's stressing her out. On the one hand, I worry for my friend's health; it can't be good for her to continue worrying about how things might go. On the other... I'm a bit relieved she's taking this so seriously. Winter's rarely, if ever, spoken to me about her romantic leanings, seeing as the intimate nature of the conversation calls for... well, a closer relationship than we'd had for a few years. Now that we're actually talking about these little details, I can tell how serious she is about pursuing Yang, and knowing that an equal amount of care and consideration is being taken the other way around comforts me. However, Yang's sudden obtuseness and refusal to believe what's clear, plain as day in front of her face is vexing to the utmost degree.

Ruby's helped shed light on that. Apparently, I'm not in possession of all the facts regarding the sisters' upbringing. After Ruby's mother passed and Yang took over Ruby's care, their father shut down. I'd gleaned as much from their comments regarding their home life but I'd perhaps misjudged the duration; it seems quite clear that their father is still very upset over Yang's mother leaving him, as if he never truly healed from that loss even after all these years. In the back of their minds, the sisters have always wondered about the relationship between their father and Ruby's mother- if it was genuine love or merely a terrible coping mechanism- and that has made both of them reluctant to pursue anything serious in the romance department. It might be a fear of turning out like her mother holding Yang back or perhaps even taking after her father and falling into a deep depression if the relationship were to fail. Ruby's convinced it's just a phase, that Yang just needs a little more time before she'll come to the obvious conclusion that, yes, she likes Winter just as much as Winter likes her and they should give dating a chance.

The final bit of the puzzle is Penny, surprisingly enough. We talked a bit when I drove her over to Ruby's apartment, and she was very open and honest about how Winter's been acting when she thinks no one is looking. Penny hasn't expressed concern, per se, but she's noted that Winter will sometimes be caught up in her own thoughts, humming the tune to some high tempo song, though she usually frowns when she notices that's what she's doing, and often appears contemplative before resuming her humming. When I asked her what sort of songs Winter hums, she informed me rather bluntly that they're the kind Yang listens to- driving rock ballads with brash vocals. I'm not entirely sure what Winter does and doesn't tell Penny, so I opted to leave it at a comment on how I didn't think her musical tastes tended that way. At which point, Penny rather bluntly informed me that Winter had started listening to that sort of music because Yang did, and that probably had something to do with why she would frown from time to time about it; it probably made her think of Yang and miss her, because they don't spend nearly as much time together as Penny spends with Ruby or I spend with Blake.

Ultimately, the only logical conclusion I can draw is that I need to engineer more opportunities for Winter and Yang to interact, to help both of them get over themselves. Hopefully, with the gala just two short weeks away, I can provide plenty of excuses for just that. I'm sure they can sort through their respective issues together, in time. Absolutely.

July 10th- Dear Diary, I've orchestrated two more small gatherings. My intent is to have Blake assist me in providing Winter and Yang with plenty of one-on-one time. We'll see how it goes. Here's hoping for the best!

7 - 12

I. I gotta write this down. Fifty years from now, when I’m old and grey and can’t remember my name, I want to remember THIS NIGHT. Holy shit. Where do I start?

So, Weiss called me up a couple days ago saying she wanted to have a “game night” with Blake, Winter, and me- which, for one, surprising she didn’t invite Ruby, but Rubes is hanging with Penny so I GUESS I understand it, but even so- and I was like, sure, I’m game (I’m hilarious). Well, we get there tonight, and wouldn’t you know it, little Miss Frosty thought it would be a good idea to bust out Remnant: The Game. I INTRODUCED HER to this thing and she thinks she can beat me? AND she doesn’t bother inviting Ruby, the only person to give me hell over the years? Oh, it’s ON.

But it goes way beyond that. Because GUESS WHO starts off the night by mentioning how we’re all tragically at a disadvantage? Winter. Because of course the woman who served time in the military things she’d got the chops to play against ME.

So now I’ve already got my list of priority targets and a plan: put Blake between me and Winter, let them duke it out while I eliminate Weiss (safest bet since she always charges into a battle and never reinforces her back line) and then sweep Blake away in time to DESTROY Winter. It’s a matter of pride at this point; I ain’t gonna make it easy for her to use whatever tactical insight she might have over me to her advantage! I’ll go toe-to-toe with her at the end but I’m not about to get knocked down early!

The first few turns go exactly like I expect. Blake picks Menagerie (which, by the way, props to Weiss for getting the expansion, I really wish they’d include Menagerie in the base game) and Weiss goes for Mantle. I’ve got Vale and Winter picks Mistral- and I gotta ask her at some point to tell me some stories from there. She talks about it pretty fondly and soldiers get up to all sorts of mischief I can only dream of; she’s gotta have a few good ones. Anyway, I leave just enough of a weak point that Blake can’t resist cutting me off from Menagerie, but it also puts her squarely between me and Winter, so check THAT box. Meanwhile, I poked Weiss over in Mantle and she’s ready to make me pay. I’ve got enough good cards from my first few hands, so I’m building up my defenses in preparation for my strike.

And then Winter, this beautiful, wonderful, ridiculous woman sees RIGHT THROUGH ME and back doors her way into Vacuo, decimating the NPC defenses to establish a stronghold, completely letting Blake control the trade routes.

So, at this point, I’m impressed! But it takes more than that to beat YANG XIAO LONG at her own game!

The next few turns are pretty standard- except, like, Blake and Weiss started... HARDCORE FLIRTING. I’m not even kidding; I never thought I’d see ONE person I could describe as “thirsty as fuck but classy about it” much less TWO, but here I am, sitting front row to the “Weiss and Blake need to get a room wow” show. Winter didn’t seem to notice but, hey, I got EYES for this sort of stuff, I know when my friends are pining, and I sure AS HELL know when they REALLY want to make the first move but they’re too chicken shit. I decided to let them keep flirting; honestly, as long as they’re preoccupied with each other, they’re not giving me ABSOLUTE HELL which is pretty necessary after a few bad hands and a shit dice roll. Luckily, I’ve adjusted my defenses, so I’m ready if Winter strikes, but I think I’ll have to do the pragmatic thing and take Weiss out first. Between the two of them, Weiss is more likely to help her sis out even in a game, and I can’t fight a war on two fronts and succeed at this stage.

Then comes the moment of truth; I’ve just duked it out with Blake and we’re both weak, weak enough that Weiss COULD over extend and nearly wipe one of us from the board, and it’s an opportunity she’s NEVER passed up before. I’m ready to start cursing when Weiss goes AND ROUTS BLAKE! Like, it was BRUTAL! She ran herself thread bare just trying to reach the furthest spot BUT SHE DID IT. In one turn, Blake’s lost every territory she had, and she’s out of the game.

But then it’s MY turn, and I hit on the three cards I needed, and Weiss spread herself WAY too thin. I’m in awe at my luck. I proceeded to absolutely STEAMROLL Weiss off the map, eliminating TWO PLAYERS in ONE TURN. Like. I’ve been playing this game FOR YEARS and I’ve never seen that!

So now it’s down to me and Winter. I honestly lost track of where Blake and Weiss went after that turn; they might’ve gone to the living room or something, I don’t know, because I am FOCUSED. Winter’s got a solid hold on Mistral and Vacuo, but I’ve got Menagerie, Mantle, AND Vale. Downside: I’m stretched thin. Not thin enough for me to be worried, but I know I’ll need to commit to a front. Winter’s pretty strong, all things considered, and I can’t bank on my perks to carry the game; I know I’ve only got two turns max before Winter’s gonna to cut through my lines like a hot knife through butter and wreck all my perks AND my supply lines.

And that was when I saw it. A side of Winter I hadn’t seen before. I got to see SOLDIER Winter, OFFICER Winter, the woman who’d held lives in her hands and made the tough calls and had to find a way to sleep at night with them.

Let me just say: I’ve never seen anything hotter. The pure focus, the grim determination, just how serious she was taking it- I might know that this is just a board game but I could see in her eyes that the miniatures on the board represented more than just plastic to her. For all the strength in her posture as she looked down at the game, I could see the cracks. Winter had only attacked the NPCs in Vacuo, which are almost impossible to NOT beat; now she’d be facing off against me, and it would be harder to come out of the fights without casualties.

And- she was RELUCTANT. Beneath the confidence and pride, there was a vulnerability. She didn’t want to lose, yeah, but more than that she didn’t want to lose her troops. Winter... she CARED. About the little plastic figures, she really did, and when I pointed out as much, she brushed it off, but I could still see it. The way she picked up the dice like they were toxic and how she steeled her nerves.

When she looked at me right then, I was SO FUCKING GLAD I was sitting down because HOLY SHIT my knees went weak. This is a woman with cold fire in her veins, at once not wanting to burn but ready to incinerate, ready to do what she must but also obviously wishing she had another option.

And suddenly, I GOT IT. Like, it all made sense- how she’d had a rough relationship with Weiss when they were younger, how the military helped her see the error of her ways, her attempts to reconnect with Weiss- everything about Winter clicked into place at that moment. She’s always seen herself as someone who wanted to do something, something more, but couldn’t find a way to accomplish it. So instead, she became devastatingly good at the things she NEVER WANTED TO DO. And now she’s at a point where she CAN go those other routes but SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW! But she’s tryin anyway, and that- I can’t even think of the words but it just, it gets me? Like, deep in my soul, I just resonate with that so much, with that burning desire to try even when you don’t know, to stumble through, but I at least am willing to fall flat on my face. Winter isn’t, at least not yet, but I think she just needs someone to show her it’s okay to stumble. Someone’s gonna be there to catch you.

So before we really got into it, I pointed out that it was really late and I have work early in the morning- which, for the record, isn’t a lie! I do have the early shift tomorrow! Then I suggested we call it a draw.

I’ve never seen anyone agree with me so quickly. Or look so relieved. I don’t think we should play Remnant: The Game again anytime soon; it’s obviously still too soon for Winter to be really entertaining stuff like that. But, damn, for what I saw tonight?

If I wasn’t already crushing so hard, I’d be worried my poor little heart would give out on me. There’s so many layers to her and every little peek just makes me want to see more! Weiss also invited us to a movie night later in the week; I’m dyin’ already to get to it!

I honestly didn’t think I could get this bad. And we’ve got that fancy party coming up! I wish I could bottle up this feeling and pull it out on rainy days. Nothing’s bringing me down any time soon!

20170715

I find myself motivated, putting pen to paper again, though for a much different reason than last time. I hope that looking back on my words might provide me with some sort of insight because, at present, I find myself too entirely possessed of a number of emotions to even begin processing them all.

Earlier this week, Weiss invited me to a game night, which seemed such a mundane and normal part of civilian life that I admittedly jumped at the opportunity. Little did I know, Yang would also be present, as well as Blake- the latter is a rather interesting character and seemed a touch intimidated when we spoke, though I’m not sure why. I’ll investigate more into that matter at a later point.

Anyway, throughout the game- a military strategy game; I should’ve expected such from my sister, rather than cards- I found myself consistently losing focus. I shouldn’t have chosen Mistral as a starting point. It made ascribing names to the figurines under my command far too easy, and with Terry’s recent transfer to Vacuo, I set myself up for a rather trying time.

And I think... no, I’m sure Yang picked up on that. She’s perceptive- and clever, trying to set me up to take out Blake while she focused on Weiss, but that’s another matter- and she called an early end to the game before things got out of hand.

Now, I’m recently returned from a movie night among the same company and I’m... conflicted. It occurs to me that Yang is friendly, overtly so, and that her actions might just be those of a concerned acquaintance with perhaps a little first hand knowledge of the trials I face. But I find myself wanting to take them as something different, as a prospective partner trying to be supportive. It’s not fair to either of us, perhaps, but I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it.

I honestly can’t recall much of the movie. I’m sure Weiss meant well, opting for a storyline with action, but the military setting... it reminded me too much of the life I’ve left behind. The fact it was a “historical” representation of one of Atlas’ most famous battles also chaffed me raw; significant license was taken in many regards, and each inconsistency piled upon each other until I was fidgeting more than I was still.

But Yang noticed and put a hand on my arm, talked quietly so I had something else to focus on during the hard-to-watch scenes. She’s such an open and caring individual; I truly doubt I’ve ever done anything worthy of her presence in my life. Even as just a friend, I am more than grateful for her.

And I had the opportunity to repay the favor. I suppose I’m the only one she feels confident speaking with regarding her birth mother; she mentioned having a solid lead on a location for her again and a few of the reasons she can’t pursue it immediately. Although Blake seemed to be of a mind that she should leave the past alone, I encouraged her to seek her own closure. I even offered to accompany her.

I’m not entirely sure she’ll take me up on the offer but I believe I saw Yang’s eyes light up, shine in a manner that I’ve rarely seen. I assured her I would be able to get the time off from work with no trouble and that Penny can always stay with a friend while I’m gone.

I don’t know what possessed me to say all that, to make the offer in the first place- I’m not sure if I can actually get the time off or if I’d be comfortable leaving Penny alone. She’s improving by leaps and bounds since she met Ruby- and she’s apparently made new friends in a Pyrrha and Nora, who appear to be other friends of Ruby’s, and Weiss seems familiar enough to not be concerned- but I still feel confident I’d stand by the offer were she to take me up on it.

I’m a woman of meticulous planning. I calculated every step, even when unexpected obstacles appeared. My plans might’ve changed vastly in the past few years but that doesn’t mitigate the work I put into making those plans to begin with.

So how could I be moved to something so rash as a trip to the border? It would be at least a day’s journey by airship, perhaps warranting an overnight stay, and if Yang had said she was leaving tomorrow morning, I’d be packing a bag rather than writing all this out.

I fear that my feelings for Yang are getting the better of my judgment. More, I’m quite certain nothing ill will come of it, and for someone who sees the danger in everything, I’m aware enough to realize I may be making a grave mistake.

But this isn’t nearly as serious as I’m making it out to be, is it? Romantic entanglements, regardless of intensity or brevity, are ultimately a surmountable challenge, a wound that can heal with time if things go awry.

What I mean is: I think my affections for Yang may go deeper than I initially thought. And even if I’m destined for heartache... I think I’m okay with that.

I’m obviously not in my right mind. I’ll not be confessing my undying love anytime soon, of course.

But I will be packing an ‘A’ bag tonight. If Yang wants to go, I will support her, and I’ll be ready to support her if she opts to go alone.

More and more of my plans are involving Yang. So, too, do they involve Weiss and Penny.

Is this what it’s like to have a family?

July 19, 2017

This is just a post to say that I am extremely nervous Because it’s two days until the party and while Fire and Ice are dancing around each other even more than before, I’m also going with Princess, and she’s been unbearably sweet the last few weeks? I’m not even sure what’s going on anymore???

Even though she absolutely destroyed me in a board game last week. Like, absolutely wrecked me. But she wrecks me every time she smiles at me, so I guess it’s no surprise there!

Anyway, I might be scarce the next few days. Enjoy the queue in the meantime.

July 21st- Dear Diary, This is perhaps premature, but I’m about to finish my preparations for the gala. I’ve been texting Blake and it seems like she’s battling a last minute bout of nerves; she offered for us to run off to a movie theatre if I’d rather not have ice cream. I suppose that means our movie nights and little watch parties are rather enjoyable for her.

I hope tonight goes well. I think it’s rather apparent that Yang and Winter are getting closer; they seem to be confiding in each other more. Only a few more nudges and they’ll be together, I’m sure of it!

P.S. ... it’s too early to tell if this was a massive mistake or the best thing that could’ve happened. I think we all learned a lesson tonight... I also need to treat Blake to a dinner... and do something for Pyrrha and Nora...

Personally? I think I’m inclined to count tonight as a win regardless. But I should contact some lawyers just in case.

7 - 21

LET THE RECORD SHOW.

I FUCKED UP.

I REALLY FUCKED UP.

20170721

When I found Penny, I learned what the phrase ‘mother’s intuition’ truly meant.

When I finally reached out to Weiss, I learned what the phrase ‘unconditional love’ truly meant.

Today, I learned what the phrase ‘I am living’ meant, because there is no more apt a descriptor for this sensation.

I’m calling Yang first thing tomorrow morning. I’d hate for her to think I might be cross about the whole debacle. To be frank, I can’t stop smiling, even as I pen this. I will relish the look on Father’s face until my death bed, and even after.

And I need to thank Weiss for making this all possible.

Right now, I’m going to drink a glass of wine to celebrate.

July 21, 2017

... I’m going to eventually make a longer post about tonight (yep, the party, just got back, though ‘escaped’ might be the better term) and you know... in my free time, I come up with as much fictional content as my fingers can produce... and if I’d read a description of tonight, I’d leave a comment about how the suspension of disbelief is a very real thing and the events portrayed completely destroyed it... but here I am, having seen with my own eyes... and I have to say...

... truth really is stranger than fiction.

July 22, 2017

Who wants the dirty details on last night? Check below the cut.

I just have to get this out. I swear, on all the fanfic I’ve ever produced, that what I’m about to describe actually happened. I know none of you are going to be inclined to believe it though. I’m still not sure I do.

So Princess’ party, the one where I was basically there to help babysit Ice and Fire. It was at this museum- because I guess that’s what the upper echelons of society think is cool, just milling around surrounded by ‘interesting’ things to make up for their emptiness; I might be a little bitter- but we arrived in grand style. Limousine, Princess escorting me while Ice escorted Fire, glasses of champagne and insincere inquiries into our health and such- if I believed for one second any of it was real, I might’ve been charmed. For all the boring small talk, standing beside Princess... I’m forced to admit there was a certain romantic quality to it.

Okay, before I go into the other stuff, allow me to gush first. Princess... I suppose it would be rather accurate to say I adopted the moniker for her at first to mock her. Then, it became something of a joke- a lighthearted tease. But last night, I swear, I am entirely sincere when I say she looked like a Princess. I could wax poetic about this for a while but I’ll try to tone my gay down a little. I dunno what it was but seeing her in such formal attire... the only regret I have is that she wore more makeup than usual. I’m not against a little foundation of course- and I... probably go a little overboard on the eyeliner and eye shadow- but it covered up her scar. Honestly, I think that is the one thing that encouraged me to get to know her, above all else; it hinted at something much deeper than what I took at face value. Aside from that, she just... carried herself differently. Regally, almost. I’ll admit, I prefer when she’s relaxed and casual- as much as she gets, anyway- but... I definitely see the appeal of her more formal posture. And, yes, for all those who asked: we did get to dance and I didn’t fall flat on my face. I mean, we spent most of it talking about Ice and Fire but... I noticed she danced much closer to me than Fire did when she was teaching me. And she felt so comfortable with me, like she was really enjoying it. That part? I couldn’t write something that magical.

Anyway, about an hour in, everyone’s moved past the polite part and the gossip machine is starting up. I think the whole cataclysm of events started with someone making a snide remark to Ice about her somewhat recent adoption of a child she’d found (I’ll admit I don’t have all the details but from what I understand it was an important turning point in Ice’s life that steered her back towards Princess and repairing their relationship as sisters) and that got Fire going. I may complain about her propensity to make puns and lewd jokes, but there’s this other side to it that people don’t really acknowledge much. You have to be extremely well versed in conversation and language to not only make those sort of jokes but to steer others into creating opportunities for you to do so; the people who best utilize it are also the ones who tend to make more puns and innuendos than any other, because they’re constantly aware of what’s being said and what lies beneath what’s being said. (A skill I am woefully lacking in, despite what you all might think; I’m certain there’s a sex joke in there that I can quite articulate but Fire certainly could. Without blushing.) With an opening created- and something of a single mother herself, considering her family- Fire went off in the classiest way, with the sweetest smile and keeping a tight lid on her anger. At first, at least.

And then Princess’ father decided to join the conversation. I’ll have tea with the devil before I subject myself to his company again. Honestly, after meeting him myself, it’s an absolute wonder anyone connected to him could have a scrap of a soul, with as black as his is. I’m just going to refer to him as Douchebag McMustache for the rest of this- I don’t really care about how long that is; the accuracy is more important to me. (And I did say it to his face, so it’s not like I’m being duplicitous.)

After Douchebag McMustache butts in, things start getting tense. Princess and Ice are cold towards him- and I mean below absolute zero. I’ve never seen either of them just... wall themselves off like that. It was terrifying, if I’m honest, because it didn’t sound the least bit like they weren’t used to it. I’m fairly certain that’s how they must’ve been for most of their lives, to everyone. Just... cold, biting, and bitter. Icebergs lingering in the dark, adrift at sea.

By that point, I... well, I was getting mad. Every word, every movement he made, all he did was cut down their accomplishments and make light of their triumphs. And all these mindless, rich, stuck up assholes just chortled right along with him, encouraging him even more to continue dragging them through the mud. I think it was when he pointed out Princess’ scar, how it must be so difficult for her to find a ‘respectable date’ given such a ‘horrific deformity’ that I snapped.

So, I did what any sane person would do in that situation. Douchebag McMustache is the CEO of a large corporation. I proceeded to list off every setback, every public affairs disaster, every little shred of doubt that might make an investor a bit nervous. And then I used his own words about me against him. He’s a racist bastard- that much I’d already known- but he decided to go the standard route of implying I must be of subpar intelligence purely because of the ears on my head. So, obviously, if someone as dumb as me can see how terribly the company is being managed, how their profits will be taking a sharp dive soon, how his ability to contain situations is severely lacking, then it’s bound to be known by the public, and then I proceeded to cite every single article and report to back up everything I’d said. I did my research before walking into that lion’s den; it took a few all nighters, but I have more than enough shade to throw on anyone who might’ve tried trading verbal barbs with me. When he accused me of trying to undermine the trust others might have in him, I admitted that I intended nothing of the sort. I just wouldn’t want to have any of my money tied up with him when those stock prices start falling, is all.

Because that’s how you get the attention of people like this. Physical harm, emotional scaring, environmental concerns- that doesn’t shake them, but mention how that pocketbook of theirs might suffer? Now you’ve got them by the balls.

I expected to get a few snide comments, some side looks, and maybe even a threat or two. I was ready for that. I don’t think Princess was- my reaction, at least, if nothing else- but... maybe it’s my optimism talking, but I swear, I think Weiss absolutely supported every word that came out of my mouth. You should’ve seen the way she looked at me then; it was more than gratitude it was... almost admiration? Perhaps something softer? The part of me that just wants to tell her that I might be falling in love with her wants to say that it was adoration and pride, but I think that’s reaching a bit too far.

Anyway, the moment it became obvious that the other guests were discreetly checking the articles themselves- and maybe even making arrangements to sell off their stocks- is when things really got out of hand. Douchebag McMustache doesn’t have the same calm, cold, steely resolve as his daughters; he got angry, and he said something absolutely disgusting that I won’t repeat. The basic gist: not only did he grievously insult his daughters, and their mother, but every woman out there, so add ‘misogynist’ to the list of ‘reasons this man is an absolute asshole’.

Now, one thing you must understand about Fire: she’s an extremely intelligent woman. She hides it sometimes beneath jokes and charm, but she’s keen. However, when it comes to almost anything, she’s more prone to acting on instinct and using her strength to her advantage.

So she absolutely walked straight up to Douchebag McMustache and said something to him- it was so low, not even I could pick it up. Whatever it was, it prompted him to take a swing at her.

And that was when he fucked up.

She decked him. Straight to the face, didn’t hold anything back, absolutely decked him. I heard the nose crunch and everything, watched him go flying back.

I’d like to say we stayed there and turned the whole party into a brawl. I’d really like to say that. But Ice immediately reacted, rushed over to Fire and told her to grab me and get the hell out of there. Which we did, because Princess is nothing less than thorough; she’d had an escape plan in place since the beginning.

After we got picked up and whisked away, Fire... well... I think it hit her pretty hard that she just laid out the father of her crush. Don’t get me wrong! I really didn’t think Ice was upset with her over it last night, told her as much, and she called this morning to confirm as much! But, ya know. I’ve mentioned Fire’s always been concerned about having an anger management problem and things like this make her worried that she’s, I dunno, turning into some red eyed rage monster or something.

I haven’t talked to Princess yet. I figure she’s going to be way too concerned about Ice and Fire to really

Well, speak of the devil. She’s calling me now. I’ll give all of you an update at some point.

July 22, 2017

I said I’d give you an update and here it is, fresh off the presses: I am very gay.

That is all. Stay tuned for more of me flailing while trying not to crush on my friend.

#TRR writes #Elderburn #Monochrome #Dear Diary Fanfic #all the guesses/comments regarding the secret ship give me life

58 notes · View notes

sleemo · 7 years ago

Text

Jedi master Mark Hamill geeks out with Bill Hader

— Interview Magazine Nov 9, 2017

From the time of the ancient Greeks, humanity has been fascinated by the struggle between good and evil, often led by an archetypal chosen one who blazes a path of glory by separating himself from the pack. As a young actor toiling between auditions, Mark Hamill’s moment of destiny came when he took a break from TV fare such as General Hospital to read for a role in a little sci-fi film helmed by a young director fresh off an Oscar-nominated hit called American Graffiti (1973). When Hamill was cast in the original 1977 Star Wars as Luke Skywalker, an orphaned farm boy growing up on a desert planet, no one—chief among them Hamill himself—knew that the film would become one of the most influential and profitable franchises ever made.

When the announcement came a few years back that Hamill would reprise his role as the Jedi Knight in J.J. Abrams’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015), along with his original co-stars Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, fans went wild. But while Hamill’s screen time was relegated to a small appearance at the end of that film (Skywalker, in ascetic seclusion on a remote planet, is discovered by a young woman who exhibits strong signs of the Force), the second installment of the new trilogy, next month’s The Last Jedi, is squarely focused on Skywalker’s journey.

On a late September afternoon, the comedian, actor, and Saturday Night Live alum Bill Hader (who was a vocal consultant for the droid BB-8 in The Force Awakens) called up Hamill from the Sony lot in Los Angeles to geek out about that iconic galaxy far, far away.

MARK HAMILL: Hi, Bill!

BILL HADER: Hey, man!

HAMILL: I’m a big fan of yours. My kids tell me that you came to my house before you were on SNL.

HADER: Yes! I was a PA on Empire of Dreams, the documentary about the Star Wars movies, and I came over to pick up some pictures of you. I sat in your living room, and I believe it was your wife who brought down the pictures, and I was like, “Oh my god, Mark Hamill’s so rad.”

HAMILL: Was I not there?

HADER: You weren’t. I didn’t want to touch anything, and the whole time I kept apologizing for my existence.

HAMILL: Were any of my kids there? Nathan or Griffin or Chelsea?

HADER: No, but when I first moved to L.A. in 1999, Nathan and I ran in the same circle for a bit. I had a friend who had a massive crush on him. I remember once we had to go to this bowling thing because Nathan was going to be there. [sirens wail in the background] Sorry, I’m robbing a bank right now. Hold on.

HAMILL: [laughs] I saw your tauntaun and Jabba the Hutt impersonations on YouTube. It’s a talent of yours I had never seen. I like that you keep alive the legacy of some of the actors that I love, like Vincent Price. I’ll be talking to people your age and younger, and I’ll mention Lee Marvin [Hamill’s co-star in The Big Red One, 1980] and a lot of them will go, “Who’s Lee Marvin?”

HADER: Oh, my god.

HAMILL: It just goes to show how fleeting fame is.

HADER: I remember I was at Comic-Con once, and I looked over and there was this long line for, I don’t know, the stars of some lesbian vampire series from Mexico, and then all by himself was [stop-motion animation and special effects master] Ray Harryhausen.

HAMILL: Did you go talk to him?

HADER: Yeah! I was like, “Oh my god, you’re Ray Harryhausen.”

HAMILL: He’s always been an icon for me. I was so into that stuff as a kid. I mean, The 7th Voyage of Sin-bad [1958] and Jason and the Argonauts [1963] and First Men in the Moon [1964] and on and on and on. I lived for that stuff. I got to interview him once on the floor at Comic-Con for Comic Book: The Movie—he was the quintessential gentleman of another era.

HADER: Were you always a fan of this stuff?

HAMILL: I was a total freak for these kinds of movies. As for getting the role of Luke Skywalker, I really stumbled into it. Just last year, I saw that they included our audition tapes as a DVD extra, and I saw William Katt’s and Robby Benson’s and Kurt Russell’s tapes, and they were all great. It seems so arbitrary that I was anointed.

HADER: Was it true that they were casting for Carrie [1976] at the same time?

HAMILL: When we auditioned, it was a total cattle call, where they didn’t even tell us about the movie—we just went in and talked for a few minutes. Brian De Palma was looking for actors for Carrie and sitting next to him was George Lucas. Since Lucas didn’t speak the whole time, I thought he was De Palma’s assistant. I didn’t know what he looked like! So I did my thing, and a couple of weeks later, I went to my agent, and there were six or seven pages of audition material for me. By the time I got the part, I assumed that Harrison Ford was the lead, because he’s a traditional leading man. I thought I was going to be his sidekick, you know, like Captain America and Bucky.

HADER: Or Batman and Robin.

HAMILL: Then I opened up the script, and at the time it said: The Adventures of Luke Starkiller as Taken From the “Journal of the Whills,” Saga I: Star Wars. I just couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought, “How are they going to do all this?” Robots, the Death Star, all of it—it blew my mind.

HADER: Did you have confidence that they could do it?

HAMILL: You have to believe. But it’s always a little disconcerting—what you imagine in your head and what you see on set.

HADER: Describe a moment on set when you went, like, “Wait, these are the Sand People?”

HAMILL: The lightsabers, for a start. George referred to it as the most expensive low-budget movie ever made. At one point, Fox screened raw footage to some people, because they needed more money to finish it. Imagine it with no effects, no music, no nothing. The general consensus, because it played so horribly, was that they should just shut it down and take a tax loss. It was only [20th Century Fox executive] Alan Ladd Jr. who saw the potential and gave us his blessing. I think they gave us like a million and a half more. Do you remember seeing it when you were young? Did it scare you, or did you love it?

HADER: I remember going to see Return of the Jedi [1983] on my fifth birthday—the people tearing the tickets were dressed as stormtroopers—but the first image I can remember on a movie theater screen is that close-up from Empire [The Empire Strikes Back, 1980], of Han in carbonite. I flipped out, and my dad had to take me out of the theater. Then he told me the whole thing on the ride back; he was like, “Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s dad!” And that’s how he said it—not his father, his dad. [laughs] What was it like, back then, leading such a massive franchise?

HAMILL: It was kind of like The Prince and the Pauper, where one day you’re nobody and the next you’re partying with Andy Warhol. It was surreal. I came from a big enough family, so I didn’t let it get to my head too much or change my view of the world. The first time I went to the Oscars was like that, too. It wasn’t really me walking the red carpet. It was like watching a movie of a Hollywood premiere. You have to have an intellectual distance from it, because it’s so atypical from your everyday life. I’m sure you feel the same way. You can’t sit in the park and people watch anymore, that ship has sailed. Star Wars ebbed and flowed, but I never expected it to come back, certainly not with this intensity. Carrie and I were in Orlando, with fans. It’s just astonishing the passion and affection that they have for all of this stuff. It’s overwhelming. You can get emotional about it because it’s so personal, the way they relate it to their own lives.

HADER: Batman, too. [Hamill has served as the voice of the Joker in animated series, films, and video games, starting with Batman: The Animated Series in 1992.]

HAMILL: That’s a whole subgenre of comic book nerds who know that I’m a nerd, too. I’m one of them, so they love the fact that I’m not posing.

HADER: What is it like working with [Last Jedi director] Rian Johnson or J.J. Abrams, people who grew up with Star Wars? Is it ever weird to be told things about your character, when you know him better than anyone else?

HAMILL: With J.J. and with Rian, it’s the first time that the fan generation has grown into being in the position that they are. I was surprised in many ways how they saw not just my character, but the overall piece, because you get really possessive over the years. But Rian, what a blessing that guy is. He is unassuming and amiable. I’ve never seen him raise his voice. I’ve never heard him curse. I never heard him humiliate anybody else in front of the entire crew.

HADER: [laughs] When the first trilogy ended, did you feel a sense of relief? I know when I left SNL, it was a big relief.

HAMILL: It was exhilarating. It felt like senior year of high school. You know those last moments when you’re clearing out your locker? You’re going to miss all these people you know, but there’s the exhilaration of what comes next. It’s like jumping out of an airplane and hoping for the best, hoping your parachute opens. I was lucky that a lot of pressure was taken off financially; I didn’t have to do stuff that I didn’t want to do, so I indulged myself. I always wanted to do theater, so I did lots of theater. I got to do a comic mockumentary, and I wrote a comic book, and I discovered that the Joker gave me a whole new career. I didn’t expect to be the Joker, of course, but with voice acting, it liberates you to play characters you’d never do in a million years because you’re physically not right. You can show up looking like hell, you don’t have to memorize your lines because you can read them right off the page, and you get to play the most fun parts. You come in and you kick everyone’s ass and you get your own ass kicked, and then you go home.

HADER: I do animated things, too, and they’re so much fun. But do you get tired after a session?

HAMILL: Oh, yeah. It’s a real workout. But it’s so entertaining. It’s like going to a really great nightclub act and getting paid for it.

HADER: I really liked The Big Red One. What was that like?

HAMILL: I was a huge Sam Fuller fan. Within five minutes of meeting him, I went, “Holy Christ, I’ve been drafted!” He got up on his feet and he started telling me the story of that film, with the explosions and the rat-a-tat-tat, and I was mesmerized. He had such charisma, such magic. He was a firecracker, like Yosemite Sam. I was traumatized when it came out because, even though it got good reviews and takes its place among the great war films, it wasn’t what we all hoped for. They cut it down to an hour and 50 minutes, to the point where it was so incomprehensible. Now, of course, it’s been restored to its proper length. If anybody’s reading this and is thinking about watching the movie: make sure it’s the two-and-a-half-hour version! Not that truncated version. I wish Sam were alive to have seen that because that would have made him happy, and he deserved it. Like any great artist who is ahead of the time, he was not welcome in Hollywood at a certain point.

HADER: There was a great documentary about him called The Typewriter, the Rifle, & the Movie Camera. That was when I first heard about him.

HAMILL: Was I in it?

HADER: You’re not talking in it, but there’s a clip from The Big Red One in it.

HAMILL: Okay, yeah, I remember that one. I hope you and I get to work together some time.

HADER: That would be awesome.

HAMILL: I have been loyal to Saturday Night Live from the very beginning. When it first came on, I said, “We’d better enjoy this because it’s for sure going to be cancelled. This is only going to last one season.” So I started taping them all. I had no idea it would become such an institution. I guess we can both relate to getting lucky and hitting the jackpot.

BILL HADER IS A COMEDIAN, ACTOR, AND WRITER. THIS SPRING HE WILL STAR IN THE HBO SERIES BARRY, WHICH HE CO-CREATED.

— Interview Magazine

#interview #mark hamill #bill hader #star wars #cast #luke skywalker #interview magazine

169 notes · View notes

onceuponakdrama · 4 years ago

Text

Was It Love?: KDrama Review

—

Bingo Card For Was It Love?

Synopsis: Noh Ae Jung [Song Ji Hyo] is a single mother and works as a producer for a movie company. She has not had a boyfriend in the past 14 years, but 4 men appear in front of her. Oh Dae Oh [Son Hojun] is a mysterious best-selling novel writer. Ryu Jin [Song Jongho] is a popular actor. Koo Pa Do [Kim Min Joon] was once a gangster, but he is now the CEO of Nine Capital financial company. Oh Yeon Woo [Koo Jasung] is a PE teacher at a school.

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 6 out of 10

I actually really liked the plot idea; at least, in the sense of what it sounded like in the description. I was pulled in because of Song Jihyo, but also because it was about single-motherhood. However, the execution of the actual plot... wow. While the overall concept was a good idea, there were just some misses that they could have hit easily.

Who’s the Father - this was the main storyline and I kind of liked it, until they kept dragging it out. It was obvious Dae-Oh was the father, considering that he was the only one with a deep history with her. Everyone else’s romances felt rather shallow, so we were able to understand from the get-go who the male lead is and who was most likely the father.

The Mother-Daughter Relationship - I’ll dive into it later with the characters, but these two had a good-ish relationship. It just felt strained due to all the miscommunication. Their relationship was supposed to be apart of the main plot, considering it centered on the question of: who’s Hani’s father? But the writers didn’t really do that. We got some glimpses of it in the beginning, but then it just centered on Ae-Jeong and Dae-Oh’s romance and it just kind of fell apart.

All The Miscommunication - this was literally the root of all the problems in the drama and I was just... annoyed. If they had all just talked to one another, there would have been no drama at all. It just felt so more melodramatic than it should have been, when it could have all been easily solved.

Characters: Rating - 6 out of 10

↣ Noh Ae-Jeong [played by Song Jihyo] - I actually kind of liked her character the most compared to the other characters. I mentioned in 100 Days, My Prince about how I love seeing strong female leads; single motherhood is hard and watching her try to make things work, without giving up her life, dreams or child was very satisfying. She always put her best effort into what she did and tried not to let people walk over her. However, her character felt kind of weak as the drama progressed because the events that happened around her were not due to her choices. Apparently, the development became: she’s independent and learned to lean on someone; in reality, it should have been about communicating with others to work things out or something.

↣ Noh Hani [played by Um Chaeyoung] - I don’t know how, but Hani was acting exactly like a 13/14 year old and acted more mature at the same time. She had fights with her mom, she struggled making friends, she makes dumb decisions, etc. I liked that side better because it felt more appropriate; she’s a teenager and she’s going to throw fits and be dumb because that’s what being young is about. I don’t like how the writers made her have this double side. There were also some scenes where I felt concerned for her: meeting up with a whole stranger (Ryu Jin) to adopting a dog that she couldn’t care for. There were just too many holes to her character and I didn’t like that they made her inconsistent, which is due to the writing but still.

↣ Oh Dae-Oh [played by Son Ho-Jun] - out of the characters, I think Dae-Oh had the most development. A lot of people say that they didn’t like him, but I do appreciate that he became better by the end of the drama, whereas most of them remained the same. In the past and when they first met again, it’s clear he’s arrogant and petty and demanding of her. However, by the end, he’s realized that his actions have consequences and he tries to be more careful and understanding. I think the whole daughter situation made him wake up and he realized the types of sacrifices that Ae-Jeong had to make. That doesn’t exclude him from the stereotypical male lead in dramas tho, so points are docked off.

↣ Ryu Jin [played by Song Jongho] - I hate him. Okay, hate is kind of strong. I kind of pitied him because of CEO Song and how he got stuck in that relationship with her. However, the whole “I saw her first” and deleting the text was a dick move and I grew to hate him. Like, bruh, how are you still friends with Dae-Oh? I did find him funny because of his wild and dramatic imagination, but there was just so much I didn’t like about him. Even if Hani was his child, he was so hesitant to claim responsibility compared to Dae-Oh. Hani even hated him and I did not blame her. I also hated how he met up with her rather than trying to communicate with Ae-Jeong about what was happening. I did like that he took Hani to see how her biological parents fell in love at the university but, again, too much to dislike about him.

↣ Oh Yeonwoo [played by Koo Jasung] - okay, I actually hated him though. Unpopular opinion: he was the most annoying possible love interest. Everyone trashed Dae-Oh, but no one said a thing about how toxic Yeonwoo is. I did like that he bonded with Hani and, by the end, he just wanted them to be happy. However, he was the most useless character and he only caused more problems rather than solved them. He’s Hani’s teacher and he chose to live with them; his mom hates Ae-Jeong for “stealing him away” and made Ae-Jeong uncomfortable with his confession and CONTINUED to make her uncomfortable. He always popped up in the most useless times and it was just annoying. Originally, I thought he was cute and then, as time went, he just felt more and more unnecessary to the plot.

↣ Koo Pado [played by Kim Minjoon] - 10/10 the best character of this drama. I absolutely loved him and his relationship with his son. Originally, I had no idea as to where this sub-plot was going, but I actually kind of liked the way it went (although the whole Chinese mafia made me confused for a bit). Anyways, Pado was precious as time went, especially since he adopted a son who’s not even biologically his. He was super funny too because he didn’t mean to sound so ominous, but his red pen made it look so threatening. I really liked him throughout the drama, even though I knew they weren’t going to end up together. I really wanted more scenes of him and Ae-Jeong being friends that bonded over single-parenthood and lowkey sticking out during the parent meetings.

Personal Notes: I hated Ahrin [played by Dasom] because she kept going after a guy who was in a relationship and continued to disrespect boundaries throughout the drama. Like, girl, chasing after a romantic relationship with the director of your film? This couldn’t wait until after? I only leaned into her a bit when she stood up for Ryu Jin, but also they’re both assholes who kind of deserve each other. Speaking of Ryu Jin, I still don’t understand how they still are friends after all of that. In the end, they were still friends and I was just so confused because they were so... separated by the end of it and never really got closure? There was just a lot happening and I did not enjoy it.

Romance: Rating - 5 out of 10

This romance was kind of mediocre. While I liked the ex to lovers trope going on, there were too many things blocked me from enjoying it. I want to start first from their romance in college. Dae-Oh puked on Ae-Jeong’s shoes to stop her from kissing someone else; while it’s creative, it was still pretty manipulative, but at least he was honest about his intentions? He proceeded to kind of harass her into getting a meal with him and then intentionally ate a clam (something he’s allergic to) to get her to do something for him. I was getting war flashbacks of the Notebook all over again. Although, I do like the moments of when they were dating; it was cute to see Dae-Oh to try and impress Ae-Jeong by stealing that large deli umbrella or when he was trying to make her laugh during a boring class. I understood the fall out, but, again, communication would have solved that easily and they could have lived a much different life. When they reunited, it was entertaining no doubt because he was “getting his revenge” but, by the end of it, he regretted everything. While it was nice to see that change in him and that romance between them blossomed, I think the main thing I couldn’t get pass was the fact that he just left her after things were getting hard. Just when they could have mended their bond and Hani could have a father like she wanted, he just left. Again, I liked the snippets of their romance, but overall... it was kind of half-assed.

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 8 out of 10

I loved the other characters in the story. Noh Ae-Jeong’s mother is the absolute bomb; while she was a bit nosy, there was that warmth from a mother, especially when she was calling out to all those people that were gossiping about her family and when she showed up to the parent meetings. There was so much I loved about her. I already expressed my love for Pado and Dongchan, so yeah. We love their father-son dynamic and watching them grow and bond is so satisfying. As for the other characters, there wasn’t anyone else I was particularly attached to. I did like Ae-Jeong’s assistant and felt really bad for her too because of all the chaos that unravels. The two points off the ten is because of Ryu Jin and Ahrin; they’re selfish characters and didn’t really learn anything other than pity themselves. By the end, they got together but I didn’t feel anything towards them. I think Ryu Jin was supposed to be likable as a second male, but it just didn’t work for me. There’s also Yeonwoo and we already know how much I don’t like him. Overall, I think the characters portrayed their parts accordingly and contributed to the plot (for the most part), but there were just some that made me frustrated.

Additional Notes:

The Last Episode - Yikes. That last episode was a mess. It was clear they threw in a conflict last minute so there could be ANOTHER separation period, even though Dae-Oh was supposed to take responsibility for Hani and I’m just so confused. There was already the 14 years because of the pregnancy and then they just threw in two more for the heck of it? God. On the other hand, I did like the glimpse of Hani and Dongchan’s wedding. It was cute. Other than that, this episode was disastrous.

This was more melodramatic than romantic or comedic like they implied for it to be. Again, all of the conflicts were due to miscommunication and all the confrontations were so dramatic. Hani gets a free pass because she’s 13/14, but the adults? They needed to get it together, but they were all acting like they were teenagers and... ugh.

The College Flashbacks - I actually did enjoy these snippets. It was super cute to see how they were like as a couple and I feel like there should have been more time spent on that. I think there would have been more benefit to spend the time with them throughout college and then having their time skip the 14 years and Hani’s born.

Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Recommended?

↣ Yes: this was a drama with multiple love lines for all sorts of people (exs to lovers, Noona-romance, mafia love line, etc.). It felt like You’re Beautiful, just less painful when the second male lead was rejected. This was also a drama with multiple things happening, so if you want more than just one plot, you kind of get it here. There’s also a lot of focus on family, since it’s about being a working, single mother. There’s also lots of flashbacks, so if you like putting little puzzles of the plotline together, this is for you. There’s also a lot of flawed characters, which makes it easier to connect with them and the choices they made.

↣ No: there’s a lot happening, but also not much is happening. Either a lot is happening all at once or things are progressing over a long time. As things progress, it also might get frustrating to watch. This is more of a slow burn drama, where the two don’t really get together until near the end. Again, the characters are flawed, so they make some mistakes that might be frustrating for you to watch or it’s hard to understand why they did some of the things they did. I would also say that this has a bit more drama, so if you are looking for a romantic comedy, this isn’t exactly the one for you.

#was it love #kdrama review #kdrama recs #spoilers #mine

0 notes

ericvick · 4 years ago

Photo

Bitcoin is surging in 2020 and nearing its all time high — here's why

Bitcoin topped $18,600 on Friday, continuing a vertical climb that accelerated in early October. The largest digital currency by market cap is up 160% in 2020, and up 190% since March 15, following a crash in the second week of March that saw the price drop 25%.

Now it’s not far from its all-time-high of around $19,800 toward the end of December 2017.

Bitcoin (BTC) bulls are hoping this time is different. And it is, judging by the breathless media coverage and general mania: there isn’t any.

In the previous bull run, financial (and non-financial) press went into a frenzy, in many cases covering bitcoin for the first time, and the price hike became a cultural conversation around Thanksgiving dinner tables. Stories proliferated of crypto newbies buying up bitcoin on exchanges, many of whom lost their shirts when bitcoin dropped precipitously in January 2018.

This time, the coverage has been muted. Perhaps you can chalk that up to the mental toll of the pandemic or the distraction of the U.S. presidential election. (The debate feels in many ways similar to the debate around why live sports TV ratings are way down.) Or it could be a sign that the price hike is less remarkable because the public now knows about bitcoin, and it has become less of an oddity. That can be a positive indicator for its future use and mainstream acceptance.

Growing acceptance, both by consumer-facing companies and Wall Street institutions, provides much of the explanation for bitcoin’s 2020 run. Here are some of the recent news events and trends that have boosted bitcoin.

A woman stands next to a bus stop covered with Cryptocurrency electronic cash Bitcoin advertisement in Hong Kong, Sept. 24, 2020. (Photo by Budrul Chukrut/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

Increasing institutional adoption

Over the past couple of years, a range of Wall Street investment firms and financial institutions have gravitated toward cryptocurrency—even if just dipping a toe in by putting a sliver of their assets into bitcoin or altcoins.

That rising interest helped Grayscale Investments, the largest crypto investment firm, top $10 billion in assets in the third quarter. (Grayscale is owned by Barry Silbert’s Digital Currency Group, the single largest investor in cryptocurrency startups, which owns the news site CoinDesk.) Grayscale offers publicly traded funds pegged to the prices of bitcoin, bitcoin cash, litecoin, ether, ethereum classic, XRP, Zcash, and others. In Q2 of this year, more than a dozen well-known Wall Street firms disclosed with the SEC new investments in Grayscale Bitcoin Trust (GBTC), including ARK Invest and Boston Private Wealth.

Story continues

Thanks to bitcoin prices, Galaxy Digital, the crypto investment firm of Mike Novogratz, saw profit of $44.3 million in Q3 2020, a huge turnaround from losses of $68.2 million in Q3 2019.

Reports of traditional finance embracing crypto have fueled more buying. “Bitcoin thrives off network value, so the more people who adopt it, the more parabolically the price rises,” Tom Lee of Fundstrat said on Yahoo Finance Live on Friday. “We’ve seen a pretty substantial increase in engagement this year, and I’ve been pretty surprised, because it is institutional.”

Even big banks have appeared to warm to bitcoin.

Goldman Sachs in August named a new head of digital assets, Matthew McDermott, and he reportedly plans to double the headcount of Goldman’s crypto team. (Back in 2018, then-CEO Lloyd Blankfein said it would be “arrogant” to dismiss bitcoin entirely, but more recently, on a call in May, Goldman analysts declared cryptocurrencies “not an asset class.”)

JPMorgan last year launched JPM Coin, an internal digital token for use by the bank’s institutional clients, which runs on the Quorum blockchain that JPM developed and is overseen by JPM’s blockchain unit Onyx. At the time of launch, Onyx CEO Umar Farooq wrote in a blog post, “We have always believed in the potential of blockchain technology, and we are supportive of cryptocurrencies as long as they are properly controlled and regulated.”

More recently, JPM began allowing customer transfers in and out of Coinbase and Gemini, two U.S. crypto exchange sites. All of this looks like JPM at the very least acknowledging the future viability of digital assets. (Jamie Dimon this week said bitcoin is still “not my cup of tea,” but he also said, “We will always support blockchain technology.”)

A man uses the Ethereum ATM in Hong Kong, Friday, May 11, 2018. Ethereum is one of the world’s popular virtual currencies. (AP Photo/Kin Cheung)

The institutional trend started well before the pandemic made bitcoin an even more appealing asset. If you ask Grayscale managing director Michael Sonnenshein, increased regulatory attention, plus the approval of bitcoin futures contracts from places like CBE and Cboe, have all served to make Wall Street feel more comfortable about crypto. “Institutional investment, regulatory clarity, futures contracts—there’s so much that has developed and solidified around the ecosystem,” Sonnenshein told Yahoo Finance in May.

Third bitcoin ‘Halving’ happened in May

Back in May, bitcoin underwent its third “halving” (or “halvening,” as some prefer), the event that happens every four years when the reward that bitcoin “miners” receive for mining bitcoin (using expensive computers to upload bundles of bitcoin transaction records to the bitcoin blockchain) gets cut in half as a built-in mechanism to slow the creation of new bitcoins and limit bitcoin’s supply. The new mining reward is 6.25 bitcoins per block; from 2016 until 2020 it was 12.5 bitcoins.

Historically, the Halving itself does not prompt an immediate spike in the bitcoin price. After the 2012 Halving, bitcoin saw a marginal increase over a few weeks, then went on a massive ride in the next months. This year, the price increased slightly in the days after the Halving, and by two weeks later had dropped below where it was before the Halving.

But as Fundstrat’s Tom Lee points out, “History says that the year that follows the Halvenings is much more important” for price than the weeks and months that follow it. The 2020 halving is not likely the chief cause of the current price rally, but it didn’t hurt, since it’s an event that reminds investors of bitcoin’s scarcity.

Wall Street figures soften their rhetoric

Bitcoin’s price swings can be very headline-driven: sometimes a single news item about a major name praising or trashing bitcoin can move the price in the short-term. Warren Buffett (“That is not investing”), Charlie Munger (“disgusting… stupid… turds”), Jamie Dimon (“fraud… worse than tulip bulbs”), and Nouriel Roubini (“mother of all scams”) are some of the big names that have trashed bitcoin in years past.

But in May, hedge fund titan Paul Tudor Jones revealed he has put nearly 2% of his portfolio into bitcoin. He called it a “great speculation… I look at it as one tiny part of the portfolio… it may end up being the best performer of all of them.”

Paul Tudor Jones, founder and chief investment officer of Tudor Investment Corporation, speaks at the Sohn Investment Conference in New York, May 5, 2014. REUTERS/Eduardo Munoz

And this week, another representative of a huge Wall Street name had positive things to say about bitcoin. BlackRock’s fixed income CIO Rick Rieder, speaking on CNBC, said, “I think cryptocurrency is here to stay, and I think it is durable… I think digital currency, and the receptivity, particularly millennials’ receptivity of technology and cryptocurrency, is real, digital payment systems are real. So I think bitcoin is here to stay… Do I think it’s a durable mechanism that I think will take the place of gold, to a large extent? Yeah, I do, because it’s so much more functional than passing a bar of gold around.”

More and more, the rhetoric from Wall Street types is changing. Even if these old-school investors are not exactly pumping crypto with great fervor, more of them are acknowledging that bitcoin, which has now existed for more than 10 years, is not about to collapse.

PayPal and Square buy in

PayPal (PYPL) on Oct. 21 made major waves in the payments world when it announced it will soon allow buying, holding, and trading of bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies, and paying with bitcoin, in its PayPal and Venmo apps. The news sent PayPal shares to an all-time-high and prompted an instant leg higher for bitcoin and some other altcoins.

Bitcoin was already on the upswing before PayPal’s announcement, but after that news the bitcoin chart line went vertical, and many attribute bitcoin’s recent price ride directly to PayPal. It is certainly a major consumer-facing name publicly showing its faith in crypto, and if the young people who use Venmo for all their peer-to-peer payments buy bitcoin once PayPal adds it (the same young people that have flocked to Robinhood to buy stocks during the pandemic), that could send the price soaring more dramatically.

Bitcoin price in 2020, through Nov. 20 at 10pm EST.

Square (SQ) is another mainstream fintech name to show love to bitcoin, stemming directly from CEO Jack Dorsey’s crypto fanaticism. In 2018, Square added the ability to buy and hold bitcoin to its Cash App, and this year the company went a step further by separately investing in $50 million worth of bitcoin as an asset for its balance sheet. Square’s bitcoin bet is paying off: its bitcoin revenue from Cash App trading was $1.63 billion in Q3, up 618% from Q3 2019, and its Q3 bitcoin profit was $32 million, up 1,500% from Q3 2019.

Finally, it’s worth mentioning Facebook’s (FB) attempt last year to launch its own cryptocurrency Libra, which, despite regulatory interference and launch delays, was seen as a major step forward for crypto since it shows that the world’s biggest social network believes in digital assets and aims to implement them on its platform.

Pandemic stimulus

One common take on bitcoin’s strong gains during the pandemic is that quantitative easing actions by the U.S. Federal Reserve and stimulus programs by governments around the world have been good for bitcoin because they underscore its scarcity. There will only ever be 21 million bitcoin created, so the supply is capped, and bitcoin has no central governing body that could step in and pump out more.

“There are so many uncertainties in this pandemic, but one thing that seems almost assured is when you print trillions of dollars more paper money, it’s going to drive up bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies,” Dan Morehead, CEO of crypto investment firm Pantera Capital, said on Yahoo Finance Live in August. “Gold’s going to go up, bitcoin’s going to go up. It is a hedge to paper currency being debased.”

Bitcoin jumped big in the days after Election Day (when a winner was still not clear) because it thrives when there is mainstream economic uncertainty—then it climbed further once it became clear Democrat Joe Biden would win, since it increased the likelihood of another imminent pandemic stimulus package. As the thinking goes, government monetary aid strengthens the appeal of bitcoin.

In 2021, a divided U.S. government, Dan Morehead wrote in a client note on Friday, “would likely result in more pressure on the Federal Reserve to expand their balance sheet. This money printing will inflate the price of things whose quantity cannot be eased—like gold, bitcoin, real assets, and even equities. It feels like bitcoin is going to melt up here.”

—

Daniel Roberts is an editor-at-large at Yahoo Finance and closely covers bitcoin and blockchain. Follow him on Twitter at @readDanwrite.

Why bitcoin and altcoins are hot again this summer

Square’s bitcoin bet is paying off

Jamie Dimon says bitcoin is ‘not my cup of tea’ even as JPMorgan has warmed to crypto

What you need to know about Ant Financial, potentially the largest IPO in history

Amazon tells employees to delete Tik Tok, then says email was ‘sent in error’

Why Square’s embrace of bitcoin was ‘brilliant’

Jamie Dimon has questions about Facebook’s cryptocurrency Libra

Lloyd Blankfein: It would be ‘arrogant’ to dismiss bitcoin entirely

#Bitcoin #Heres #High #nearing #Surging #Time

0 notes