#because the pay is good and i like the data entry part

[watercolor-wings]

People need to stop calling me. No more calls. I will unplug my phone.

[laurenairay]

I can't help it if I like it - M. Martin

Summary: Dhara Nicholls is just trying to make ends meet while working on her Masters degree. Enter Matt Martin.

This is my entry for @wyattjohnston’s summer fic exchange 2k24! My giftee is @comphy-and-cozy and I hope I incorporated everything we discussed. This is the second longest fic I’ve ever written on here and I had genuinely so much fun writing it! Definitely written with a lot of creative license, not only because Matt and Sydney are couple goals, but also because I completely fudged the season dates. I also modelled Dhara’s degree and work after one of my best friends, and her Sikh faith after another friend, so it is as accurate as I could make it without experiencing it all myself.

I hope you enjoy it C! And thank you to Demi for reading through the first half of this monster!

Words: 13.7k

Warnings: age gap, flirting, pining, extremely slow burn, implied intimate moment, some bad language, changed names of Matt’s irl wife and children

Title from Shotput by Still Woozy Lyrics used from Middle of the Night by Elley Duhé

~

Waiter/Waitress…

Bartender…

Tutor…

Barista…

Cashier…

Of all the things to leave to the last minute. Dhara usually prided herself on her organisational skills, but with her summer internship taking up most of the past couple of months, finding a part-time job to give her disposable income (and food, for that matter) for the final year of her postgraduate degree had slipped her mind. Rents had gone up quite significantly in the past few months, so anything extra she had last year was pouring directly into paying for her tiny apartment, and she needed to eat, damn it.

Unfortunately, now that it was already August, there was nothing truly suitable. She needed flexible hours, that was for sure – some of her data modelling work couldn’t just be stopped in the middle of a good coding flow to pick up a shift at a bar. And some of her classes were online this final year, so she wouldn’t find it as easy to travel back and forth to a job on campus. Tutoring could potentially work but it would involve a fair amount of planning and structure that she wasn’t sure she could commit to.

This was the worst timing. And she’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t ask her parents for help, not when she was so close to finally finishing her education. But what could she do?

“Hey Dhara!”

She turned her head to the side quickly, dark curls whipping over her shoulder, before she smiled. The familiar voice indeed matched one of her former dormmates, Melissa. They had lived on the same floor in freshman year at NYU, but with limited student housing, most of the friends on that floor had gone their separate ways into private renting. She’d lost touch with a few of those girls too, after they graduated from their undergraduate degrees, but those she still kept in touch with had carried on their education like she had – only Melissa and another of their friends Janelle had taken up postgraduate study at Long Island University – Brooklyn though, so it was good to see her familiar face outside of the occasional coffee catch-ups, especially after the long summer break.

“Melissa! Hi! How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good, glad to be back in the city. How are you? Did you travel back to LA to see your parents in the end?”

“I’m pretty good too, thanks. And no, the internship offer was too good to turn down. My parents went on a few trips by themselves anyway, so it’s not like I missed out on too much time with them,” Dhara shrugged, smiling, “Now I’m just trying to get myself set up for final year.”

She loved her parents – really, she did – but she wasn’t as close to them as she had been growing up. The downfall of choosing to study far away from home. Dhara had barely been back to Los Angeles since she moved to New York when she turned 18, if she was being honest, and her parents valued her independence as well as her dedication to her studies. At least they could rely on video calls to see each other’s faces.

“Oh man, tell me about it. Shitty rent increases, right?” Melissa groaned.

“Exactly!” Dhara laughed, “I’m just trying to find something that’ll let me be flexible so I can graduate to the best of my ability, you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Melissa sighed, smiling sympathetically, “I’ve got a couple of interviews at coffee chains lined up, but the hours are going to be brutal.”

Dhara grimaced. Yeah, there was a reason she wanted to avoid working as a barista unless there was no other option.

“Hey, you like kids, right?”

Dhara raised an eyebrow at her friend’s question. “I…do. I have plenty of cousins who have kids already, if that’s what you mean. Why?”

“A friend of my roommate works for a nannying agency. Completely certified company, really well paid, you can input your available hours into their website so they match you up, and they cater to a lot of wealthy clients. She told me they’re opening their books, but I’m not a huge kids person myself. If you’re interested, I could pass you her details?”

“Wait, really? Just like that?” Dhara asked, surprised.

It almost sounded too good to be true.

“Really really. The agency do background checks and would want to see your resume as well as do an interview with you in person, but I can’t see you getting rejected from this. You’re crazy smart and super competent,” Melissa shrugged, smiling.

Nannying. For a potentially wealthy client. There were a whole host of problems that could come from that, with both the parents and the children, but could the flexibility be worth it?

Then again, what did she have to lose?

“Okay sure, pass me her details and I’ll give your roommate’s friend a call,” Dhara smiled.

She could only hope this worked out in her favour.

~

Time was running out, Matt knew that much. There were only a few weeks before the season started up again, and it was beyond time for him to hire a nanny for his daughter. He’d been a single dad for two years now, his marriage ending mostly amicably. Sure, his ex-wife’s announcement that she was tired of following him around for his career had been hard, but not as hard as her second announcement that she was following her own career abroad. But she’d not contested anything he'd asked of her, and hadn’t made any unreasonable demands herself, so it was as clean as a divorce could be. Being solely responsible for the upbringing of their daughter Sarah was not something he’d been prepared for, not with his lifestyle. He knew he was lucky that his mom had been willing drop everything and move in with him after his wife left them, but it was time to let his mom live her own life – and for him to move on with his.

Hockey was his first love, nothing would change that. But his daughter Sarah had taken over so much of his heart that he was struggling with the idea of hiring a stranger to take care of her when hockey took precedence. But it was time – for all of them. In the end, he’d decided to go through a reputable agency that a few of the guys on the team recommended, but after three unsuccessful interviews Matt was just about ready to beg his mom to stay a little longer.

The first interview had started well. But it had quickly deteriorated when he realised that they weren’t as flexible as he needed. It was fair enough that the nanny wanted set hours – he knew his schedule was all over the place – but he obviously couldn’t offer that, so he wished them well and cut the interview short.

The second interview had started bad and gotten worse. He didn’t know if it was the way the woman smiled at him when he saw the elegant interior of the house or how she spoke of him being a single dad with a wide-eyed pity smile, but he didn’t like the vibes she was sending at all. He didn’t need a nanny that was more interested in him than his daughter. No, just no.

The third interview sounded promising on paper. The candidate had all the right qualifications and experience, but when it came down to processes and how she handled tantrums and tears? No way. He knew Sarah sometimes got upset when he was on long roadtrips – it was only natural – and there was no way he was leaving his daughter with someone who would punish her for showing understandable emotions.

So Matt could only hope that this fourth interview – his last for the day before he gave up and started from scratch – would finally be positive.

Dhara Nicholls.

When he’d first seen the name, he hadn’t known what to expect. Dar-Rah. That was how the agency lady had pronounced it, so he could only hope she was right – the last thing he wanted was to say the nanny’s name wrong out of ignorance. While he would ask for more detail during the interview, he knew the basics about her from the information the agency had sent over. Born and raised in Los Angeles, California, studied BS Computer Science at NYU, went on to study for a Masters in Computer Science at Long Island University – Brooklyn, and was currently in her final year for that. It was the flexibility that he was most intrigued by – and her apparent intelligence. He didn’t care that she didn’t have nannying experience outside of family. If she could take care of his daughter, make sure she was happy and healthy, that’s all that he cared about.

The doorbell rang right on time. Good start.

When he opened the door to greet her, Matt found himself freezing a little. He’d assumed that she wouldn’t be Caucasian based on her first name (as much as he hated assuming anything), but he somehow hadn’t been expecting the sheer beauty of the Indian woman standing in front of him now. At least he assumed she was Indian – and again with those assumptions. He would have to check for sure with some subtle questions because the last thing he wanted to do was act like an ass. But right now, her big beautiful brown eyes, smooth skin, glossy dark curls and sweet hopeful smile had his mind whirling. What was wrong with him?

“Hi! Mr Martin?”

Huh, a typical Valley girl accent. Not what he’d been expecting. Damn assumptions.

“Matt, please. Mr Martin makes me feel like my dad’s standing behind me,” he managed to force out.

The laugh that spilled from her lips sounded like music. He was doomed alright.

“Good to know. Matt it is,” she mused.

“Thanks, Dhara. Please come in,” he said, smiling warmly.

The way she smiled as he said her name let him know he’d said it right. Dar-Rah. Beautiful. No, he needed to be professional about this. He couldn’t let himself be bowled over by a beautiful girl, not when she was (hopefully) going to be employed by him. That wasn’t fair to her. Or to Sarah.

“Can I get you a drink? Water? Coffee?” he offered.

“Water would be great, if you don’t mind,” she nodded.

Matt quickly grabbed her a bottle of water from the fridge, before leading her into the living room, handing her the bottle as they sat down on opposite sofas. She was tall even in flat shoes, maybe 5ft10, and she looked around the room with a smile before her eyes landed on Matt. Captivating.

“Let’s start, shall we?” he said, trying to clear his thoughts.

Right from the get-go, she was impressive. Her upbringing in Los Angeles was very family-orientated, living near her father’s 3 siblings and all their children, her cousins. Her studies alone were remarkable but the way he could tell how passionate she was for her work was the most interesting part of all. He liked that she could be flexible with timings, happy to stay overnight in a guest room during roadtrips, and she was willing to work around her class schedule to even take classes from his house while Sarah was occupied with something she could still keep an eye on. It was more than he could have asked for, if he was being honest. It was all just a bonus that she was warm and genuine on top of it all.

Matt knew what he wanted the conclusion of this interview to be. Dhara was exactly what he’d been looking for, and he knew that Sarah would quickly accept her too. He could only hope that she felt like she’d been a good fit for them too.

“Is there anything else you wanted to know?” she asked.

“I think I have everything I need. I’m not going to lie, this whole process has been a struggle,” Matt admitted, “Trying to figure out who to trust my daughter with is the last thing I thought I’d be doing.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dhara said softly, smiling sadly at him, “Would you like me to take any preferences back with me to the agency? So the next person is a better fit for you?”

If he hadn’t been convinced about her before, he absolutely was now.

“You don’t need to take feedback to the agency, Dhara. Because I want to offer you the job,” he said, smiling.

Her lips parted slightly in surprise, before a wide grin spread over her face. Somehow the pure joy in her expression made her even more beautiful, if that was even possible.

“Thank you, Mr Martin. Thank you so much!” Dhara said happily.

“You’re welcome. You’re exactly who I was hoping to find for my daughter. And please, call me Matt, remember?” he mused.

“Of course, whatever you want…Matt,” she said, ducking her head slightly to hide what looked like a shy smile.

Whatever you want.

Now that was just dangerous.

~

Dhara felt like she was dreaming. Three days ago, when Matt had actually offered her the job, she’d felt like her head was spinning, and it wasn’t until she had the official contract sorted and signed with the agency that everything started to sink in. He was willing to be as flexible as she needed, in return for her being as flexible as he needed – it was a small price to pay to stay in the guest room when he was away for her to still be able to attend all her classes. The only thing they’d had to negotiate was her one in-person class every two weeks that she couldn’t do online that was outside of Sarah’s Kindergarten hours, which he’d arranged for one of his teammate’s wives to look after Sarah for a couple of hours until she was finished. And wasn’t that a trip, learning who he was. An NHL player. She was really going to be the nanny for an NHL player’s six year old daughter, and she could still complete her degree. Mindblowing. The only thing that was still sort of in the works were the Kindergarten drop offs themselves – she wouldn’t be put on the accepted pick-up person list until after a first week’s trial, just to make sure Sarah was okay with her. It was fair enough, but still nervewracking. Matt apparently had full faith that everything would be fine though, and had already given her all the details. Drop off was between 8.30am and 9am, and pick up was at 2.30pm – Matt was happy for her to work from his house on the days she didn’t have to go into campus, to save travelling back and forth, which she was absolutely going to take him up on.  It almost felt too good to be true, that everything was working out the way it was, but she wasn’t going to let such a good opportunity to balance work and her degree slip through her fingers.

When Dhara arrived at Matt’s house, having been given a brief introduction to Sarah before Sarah excused herself to the living room, she tried not to let the nerves get to her. Matt looked lighter, like a weight had been taken off his shoulders, and she could only hope it was partly to do with her. He might be nearly 10 years older than her, but he was one of the most handsome men she’d ever laid eyes on, that was for sure. Not that she’d ever tell her new employer these completely inappropriate thoughts of course.

“Now, I have some meetings and final pre-season things to film and so on at the rink today. I’m hoping it’ll all be done in a few hours but it’ll be a good little start for Sarah to get used to me and my mom not being around. I’ve already explained everything to her, and I think she understands the concept of a nanny and that it was time for grandma to get back to her own life in Canada, but if there are any major issues then please call me,” he said seriously.

“I’m sure everything will be fine, especially if you’ve already talked with her, but I absolutely will call you if Sarah needs you. And please don’t rush home? You deserve to spend some time catching up with your friends. Team bonding, and all that, especially if someone suggests lunch. Sarah and I will be fine, I promise,” Dhara said firmly, but with a smile she hoped was encouraging.

Matt let out a shaky breath but nodded, and her heart ached for him. She could tell how much this was affecting him – it was obvious – but the whole reason for her being here was to make his life easier. She could do that, she knew it.

“Sarah, I’m going to the rink!”

She smiled to herself at the sound of fast-paced walking (not running inside the house was clearly a rule) and soon enough Sarah was clinging to her dad’s legs.

“Be nice to Dhara,” Matt said, smiling warmly.

“I’m always nice!” she said, pouting.

He just ruffled her blonde hair, nodding to Dhara with a shaky smile, giving Sarah one last hug before leaving the house. This was it – Dhara was officially responsible for the wellbeing of a child.

“I’m going back to colouring. You can come if you want.”

How generous. Dhara grinned to herself at the young girl’s candour, following her quietly through the house back to the living room where Sarah had a small stack of paper and colouring pencils laid out. Sarah seemed happy enough to thump back down onto the floor and continue with her drawing, silent but focused, and Dhara watched for a little while from the doorway. The most important thing for today – and the rest of this week – was for Sarah to feel comfortable in her presence. She’d never had any problems getting her cousins’ children to like her, so she could only hope the same gentle methods would work with this child.

Sarah didn’t seem to mind Dhara sitting down next to her, barely giving her a glance, allowing her to settle in quietly. So far so good. After a few minutes of Dhara watching her peacefully, Sarah slid a piece of paper over to Dhara, and looked up at her with blue eyes eerily similar to her father’s.

“I’m drawing a picture for daddy, to make him smile when he gets home,” Sarah said simply.

“That’s very kind of you. I’m sure he’ll love it,” Dhara said, melting on the inside at the sweetness.

Sarah side-eyed her briefly before seeming to deem Dhara’s answer acceptable.

“You should draw him one too. He likes my pictures so I’m sure yours will be fine,” she said, sliding over the colouring pencil box.

Kids. You had to love them.

“I will do my very best then,” Dhara said seriously.

Sarah just nodded, going back to her drawing with all the focus a six-year-old could. Dhara just smiled to herself, picking up a pink crayon to attempt to draw some flowers. This was a good start, right?

~

The first month of Dhara’s employment (and final year of her degree) flew by. Somehow, everything was going well so far. There were no dramas, no big issues, and her classes weren’t unmanageable with her new schedule. She could admit that it initially felt weird to be dropping a kid off at Kindergarten that wasn’t hers, especially so early on into knowing Sarah, but that first big smile her charge had given her at pick-up time made everything better. Like, genuinely her heart felt like it had puffed up in size – yeah that’s right, I made her smile – and everything had only gotten better from there. They’d even settled into a decent routine, to the point where Matt even joked that Dhara was becoming Sarah’s favourite person (apparently her bedtime stories were the best?) – and neither of them had even looked at her like she was crazy when she explained her work for her Computer Science Masters like most people tended to.

(“Daddy she’s so smart.” “I know sweetheart.” “I want to be as smart as Dhara when I grow up!” “Well then you’d better show me the new spellings you learned at Kindergarten today.”)

She’d only needed to stay an extra night in the guest room once so far for a roadtrip, which also felt weird, but Matt’s flight had been delayed so there really wasn’t another choice. Thankfully, he’d been there by the time Sarah woke up, so there had been no major tantrums, but the bedtime tears were still an experience she hoped to avoid as much as possible. After looking at Matt’s schedule, she knew exactly how many roadtrips he was going to be on, so hopefully she could come up with some ideas for what to do if that ever happened again.

There were many things she was learning in this new world of being a nanny.

She knew she’d be learning something new tonight too. It was the first game of the pre-season and Matt was in the line-up to play. Traditionally, Sarah always went, and tonight was no exception. Dhara had been hesitant to accept the ticket initially, content with dropping Sarah off with the WAGs she knew and picking her up at the end,  because she was quite literally just the nanny - but Matt insisted. He also insisted that Sarah wanted her there too, and how was she supposed to say no to that?

The plan would be that Dhara and Sarah would take the train over to the arena with plenty of time to spare ahead of warmups (so Sarah could hold her newly-made poster up against the glass), and then Matt would drive them all back to the Martin house – with the late timings, Dhara would need to stay late again. At least this time she had enough clothes in her overnight bag packed.

Nerves washed over Dhara as she entered the UBS Arena, but with Sarah chattering away, holding tight to her hand, it wasn’t too difficult to cover her nerves with a smile. She’d already met Kristy Cizikas – the teammate’s wife who covered looking after Sarah during Dhara’s class once every two weeks – so she would at least know one friendly face. Sarah led the way to the family suite, Dhara making sure her pass was clearly on display so no-one thought she was a fraud, and soon enough they arrived to a blonde-haired sea.

“Dhara! There you are!”

Kristy. Good.

She was thankful for the instantly-warm welcome – she was so out of her comfort zone that it wasn’t funny. Tonight really was her first time being thrown in at the deep end. At least she’d have a break soon to collect her thoughts when everyone in the suite (who wanted to) would head down to the ice for warm-ups. She could do this. She could totally do this. It helped that Kristy introduced her around the group, Grace Lee in particular making her feel at ease with her beaming smile.

The game itself was electric. Dhara mostly kept her eye on Sarah playing with the other kids in the family suite – you know, as it was her job – but by the start of the third period Sarah had fallen asleep on her lap, leaving her free to watch her first ever game of ice hockey with her full attention. Grace helped her out by murmuring along some of the rules and pointing out names of people that Dhara didn’t know yet, and she just felt herself getting fully entranced. She’d never seen anything so graceful and yet so physical. And the speed!

Dhara felt like a bit of an idiot for gasping when Matt full-body checked a player from the opposing team into the boards with a load crash, immediately throwing his gloves off to fight him, her eyes wide as Matt easily took him down to the ice. Fuck, that was hot. Why was that so hot? She could only thank her dark skin for hiding the worst of her blush as Grace and Kristy smiled knowingly at her. Whatever, they didn’t know anything. They could infer all they liked.

That didn’t mean her eyes stopped tracking Matt every second he was on the ice though.

“How was she tonight? Truly?”

Dhara smiled up at Matt, shifting a sleeping Sarah up on her hip as Matt unlocked the front door.

“She was so good. The way her face lit up when you saw her sign in warmups? She didn’t stop talking about it for ages. And she fell asleep on me during the third period so I just let her nap, I hope that’s okay,” Dhara said.

“Of course it is. I’m happy that she feels comfortable enough to do that around you!” he said, smiling.

She was too. She really was.

“I’ll put Sarah to bed, if you want to sort out your bandage?” she offered.

The cuts on his knuckles from his fight had needed a couple of stitches and would need to be cleaned then covered for at least one night, he’d told her that much on the drive home.

“You’re the best,” Matt said, nodding.

Dhara just grinned and headed up the stairs. It didn’t take her long to carefully lay Sarah down in her bed, pulling off her shoes before tucking the duvet over her. But as she slowly crept out of the room and gently shut the door, she could hear Matt cursing in the bathroom, and she frowned.

“Matt?” she whispered, trying not to wake up her young charge.

He cursed again, so she knocked on the bathroom door, and smiled slightly as he cursed in surprise and slowly opened the door.

“The bandage is caught on the dried blood in the stitch and I can’t get it off. Don’t want to rip it,” he murmured when her head poked around the door.

“Let me?” she offered, slowly walking into the room.

Dhara looked up at him through her lashes, holding her hand out, and Matt silently placed his hand in hers. His skin was warm, if a little callused, and it was all she could do to bite her bottom lip as she gently eased the bandage off his knuckles. Matt didn’t take his hand away as she reached for the cotton ball he’d already dipped in the cleansing liquid, allowing her to gently dab at the stitches until they were clean. The two of them stood close together, silent, only their hands touching, and yet somehow this was more intimate than she’d ever been with any man. It was intoxicating to be allowed to take this level of care with him. It was only when she gently pressed down the edges of the fresh bandage that she caught eyes with him once more, the intense blue making her breath catch in her throat, and she forced herself to break out of the moment.

Because it was a moment, and she didn’t know if it thrilled her or terrified her.

“That should be okay now,” she murmured, finally letting go of his hand.

“Thank you, Dhara. I appreciate it,” he said, voice just as soft.

Intoxicating.

Dhara just smiled, nodding her head as she slipped out of the bubble he’d unknowingly boxed her into, and stepped out of the bathroom with a racing heart. She needed to pull herself together. She needed to pull herself together, fast. Otherwise she was going to run the risk of ruining everything.

~

“So give us the details then.”

Matt took a sip of his beer, before frowning at Casey.

“What are you talking about?”

Casey shared a glance with Anders, who just smirked and shook his head incredulously. What?

“Seriously, what details?” Matt asked.

“About Dhara?” Anders prompted.

“Kristy and Grace told us all about meeting her at the game last week, how she was super sweet with Sarah and how much Sarah adored her. What really caught our attention was that they told us about her reaction to your fight. How her eyes lit up, how she gasped, how she was on the edge of her seat,” Casey said innocently, although the sparkle in his eyes was anything but.

“Shut up, she did not,” Matt grumbled.

Their words lit something inside of his though. It was just typical that they waited to interrogate him until they were all six beers deep at Casey’s house, Kristy and Grace having a girls night slash kids sleepover with some of the other WAGs, including Sarah. They were gossip vultures, the lot of them.

Did she really react like that?

He hadn’t been able to get that night out of his mind. The way Dhara came into the bathroom so carefully, like she was trying not to spook a horse. How she held his hand so gently, her skin surprisingly warm and soft. How her cleaning touch was so light that he’d barely felt it, how her ministrations hadn’t hurt at all. How her gaze had been so intense when they caught eyes that he’d felt his breath catch in his throat.

Matt hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that moment they’d shared, and it was driving him crazy knowing there was no way she was having the same thoughts.

But then again, if Casey and Anders were right, if Kristy and Grace were right, maybe she was?

“Bud, you know Grace wouldn’t gossip if she didn’t think there was some truth to it,” Anders mused.

He wasn’t wrong there.

“Dhara is my nanny. Sarah’s nanny. Everything is completely professional,” Matt said firmly.

“Everything is completely professional?” Casey prodded.

“Yes?”

At the hesitance in his tone, Casey and Anders grinned.

“I knew it!” Casey hooted.

“What happened?” Anders asked, eyes lighting up.

“Nothing! Literally nothing has happened. She cleaned the stitches on my knuckles for me because I couldn’t get the bandage off, that’s it,” Matt said sharply.

“Booooooo.”

“Seriously, don’t make it a thing. I don’t want her thinking that I’m some kind of creep,” he groaned.

“Now why would she think that, if you weren’t having creepy thoughts?” Anders teased.

Matt sent them both a flat look, making them hoot with laughter.

“Aww you have it so bad!” Casey cackled.

“You two are the worst. I don’t know why we’re friends,” he muttered.

“You love us,” Anders grinned, toasting him with his beer bottle.

Matt just stuck his tongue out in response, taking a big swig of his own drink. He needed to nip all of this in the bud. There was no way he wanted this to get back to Grace and Kristy, and then back to Dhara. Absolutely not.

“She is pretty,” Casey said, smirking slightly, “Kristy said her smile and her laugh lit up the whole room.”

“And Grace said that Sarah worships her, literally fell asleep on her without a care in the world,” Anders added.

They both knew his weaknesses so well. Matt groaned, tilting his head back, before staring his friends down.

“Enough, okay? Yes, Dhara is beautiful. And smart. And so beyond capable with Sarah that it isn’t funny. But I’m not going to be that guy, okay? I’m her boss and I’m not even going to consider crossing that professional boundary, understood? That’s not cool,” Matt said seriously, “I’m not that guy.”

“We know you’re not,” Casey mused, holding his hands up in surrender.

Anders just nodded his agreement. “We only tease you because we love you. And like I said, I wouldn’t have brought it up if Grace hadn’t seen something herself.”

“Just…don’t make it a thing? I don’t want to make Dhara uncomfortable around me. Sarah adores her and that’s all that matters,” Matt sighed, mostly in defeat.

“If you’re sure, then we won’t,” Anders said.

“But we reserve the right to change our minds later,” Casey grinned.

“Oh my god, get me another drink,” Matt groaned.

Seriously, the worst.

~

Sparkling lights, tinsel, and candy canes everywhere – it only meant one thing. Christmas was coming. With continuous snowfall and the way that she couldn’t escape Christmas songs anywhere, Dhara could hardly deny its upcoming presence, especially with how excited Sarah was getting. As usual, Dhara wasn’t going home for the two weeks break, and the moment Matt found out that her roommate was going home (leaving Dhara alone), he insisted that she came over to spend Christmas day with him, Sarah, and his parents.

(“Matt, no, I can’t intrude.” “No-one should be alone on Christmas.”)

He even tried to offer to pay her for coming over, with that she put her foot down. Christmas was Christmas, after all. In the end, they decided that, with her last class of the semester on the 19th, Dhara would stay over from the 20th to the 22nd, until his parents arrived on the 23rd. They would take over taking care of Sarah with Matt not getting home until late in the evening of the 23rd, and then Dhara would come back over on the 25th, leaving again in the evening of the 26th. It was a lot of back and forth, she could admit, but she’d never had someone in her life so insistent that she spend the holidays with them – and the fact that it was Matt? She couldn’t find it in her heart to say no, especially when he got Sarah and her puppy dog eyes on the case.

Somehow, travelling on the trains on Christmas Day wasn’t as bad as she feared, even with her overnight bag and holdall of gifts. It was only lightly snowing on her short walk to Matt’s house, so she wasn’t fully shivering when she knocked on the door but she was definitely glad that Matt didn’t take too long to open it.

“Hey, you made it! Why didn’t you call me from the station? I would’ve picked you up!” he said quickly beckoning her inside.

“I’m used to the walk now, and I didn’t want to disturb you,” she shrugged, unwinding the scarf from her neck.

“You would never have disturbed me. You’re…never mind, come into the kitchen, my mom’s making hot chocolate,” Matt murmured.

She left her bags in the hallway after taking off her boots, coat, and woolly hat, nervously following Matt into the kitchen. Why was she so nervous to meet his family?

“Guys, Dhara’s here!”

“Dhara! You made it!” Sarah cried out happily.

She knelt down to give her charge a big hug, grateful for the friendly face, before standing up with a nervous smile.

“I’ve heard so much about you – I’m Dawn,” Matt’s mom said, big smile on her face identical to Matt’s.

“And I’m Jim. It’s great to finally meet you,” Matt’s dad said warmly.

Was it really that easy?

“I’ve heard only good things about you too. Thank you for letting me join your family Christmas,” she said, smiling back at them.

“Letting you? I had to practically beg you,” Matt teased.

“Because I see you all year round – your parents don’t get that luxury,” she shot back, still smiling.

“I like you already,” Jim laughed.

“Drinks anyone?” Matt mused.

Once the hot chocolate was passed around, they made their way into the living room, Dhara having grabbed her holdall on the way with the gifts.

“I like your scarf, Dhara,” Sarah piped up, once she was settled on a big cushion on the floor.

Dhara’s fingers brushed over the lightweight blue patterned material draped over her chest and pinned in pleats at her shoulders with a smile. She didn’t usually indulge in her South Asian heritage with her outfits, but her holidays it always felt like a must. She might be wearing a casual plain grey sweater underneath, with light wash jeans, but the chanderi dupatta added a much-needed level of elegance – a casual but respectful outfit. Her mother had loved it at least when she called her this morning, and it was nice to know that Sarah did too.

“Thank you! It’s a dupatta – many South Asian women wear them in many different styles. I like to wear a chanderi dupatta, this lightweight patterned silk, over casual clothes to add a little something extra,” she said, smiling.

“It’s really pretty. Never seen you wearing anything like that,” Matt said softly.

“Thanks,” Dhara said, thankful her dark skin hid her blush, “I tend to only wear dupattas for special occasions. I don’t practice Sikhism as much as I did back in LA, and even then not nearly as much as my mother would’ve liked us all too.”

“Why not?” Sarah asked.

“Sarah!” Matt frowned.

“It’s okay, really,” she said, reassuring, “Well, my upbringing was fairly mixed. My mom’s parents came over from Punjab when they were newly married – my Baba Ji, my grandpa, is an Engineer. My mom and her brothers were born and raised Sikh in Los Angeles. Mom met Dad in university and they fell in love. The only problem was, he was Christian. Or at least, loosely Christian – and very white. While my mom didn’t care about all of that, because she’d fallen head over heels for him and him for her, her parents didn’t approve. She left home and married him anyway, and we haven’t really seen much of my mom’s side of the family ever.”

“But they fell in love!” Sarah cried.

“Culture and religion are complicated things,” Dhara said simply, smiling sadly, “my mom knew what she was giving up, she was very brave. She still had a lot of her friends in the community so she had that connection, and Dad’s family is huge and loud and welcoming, so she never felt alone. She raised me with a knowledge of Sikhism and the welcome to join her in celebrating any holidays I wanted to, but my parents left me to forge my own path, which I did. I have some contact with cousins on my mom’s side thanks to Instagram, so it’s not all a loss. I like to think I get the best of both worlds.”

She couldn’t have asked for more with her upbringing, she knew that. Dhara had been given the world, and been taught kindness for others always, and had an education that others could only dream of, and all the love she could ever want from her parents. She also knew that sometimes her mom struggled but that she had her husband, Dhara’s dad, to rely on for strength. Her mom truly was a hero of hers, and she could only be grateful for everything she’d done for her.

“Thank you for sharing that with us. It can’t always be easy, being so far away from your family,” Matt said softly.

“It isn’t always, no. But I’m following my passion with my degrees, and they understand that,” Dhara nodded, smiling at him, “Besides, we have modern technology, no?”

Matt and his parents just laughed, making her smile a bit wider.

“But Dhara, what about…”

“How about we give Dhara a break from interrogation and pass out gifts, hm?” Dawn mused, interrupting Sarah.

Dhara laughed, shrugging, Sarah just pouting.

“You can ask more questions later okay?” Matt said, glancing up at Dhara to make sure she was okay with that.

Dhara just nodded. The way he checked to confirm with her sent out butterflies she tried desperately to ignore. This was not the time.

As they all passed around presents, Dhara had been pleasantly surprised to learn that she had gifts to open too. She hadn’t expected anything from his parents but they’d still surprised her anyway, with a gorgeous earrings and necklace set that felt fancier than anything she owned in New York. Sarah had gifted her a set of pens and a pretty notebook (which she’d picked out herself, apparently) and she’d looked so pleased with herself that it warmed Dhara’s heart.

For Matt’s mom, she’d gifted her a set of Indian spices, because Matt had told her in passing that his mom liked to cook from all different cuisines – so she’d bought her cumin seeds, coriander powder, garam masala, turmeric, and green cardamom. Dawn had looked so touched when she opened them, giving Dhara a big hug that she hadn’t been expecting. Matt’s dad looked just as pleased by his craft beer tasting tour back home in Ontario, and promised to give her reviews of every single one.

Sarah had squealed in happiness at the book Dhara bought her. A Is for Awesome: 23 Iconic Women Who Changed the World. It was important for Sarah to learn about how powerful she could be as a woman, and from Matt’s smile he seemed to agree with her.

For Matt – she’d bought him a cufflink box.

“I’m always losing cufflinks on roadtrips. You remembered,” Matt murmured.

The way her heart fluttered. Wow.

“And now you have a place to store 4 sets, wherever you go,” Dhara said softly.

“Thank you, this is…I love it,” Matt grinned.

Well now she was a goner.

Her last gift to open was from Matt. Again she hadn’t expected anything from him – he was opening his home to her on Christmas, after all – but when she opened the instant camera, Fujifilm Instax Mini with multiple packs of film cards, her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.

“Matt, this is…wow. This is too much!” she gasped.

“You’ve talked about wanting to preserve memories and I thought this would be a fun way to do it,” he shrugged.

A fun way to preserve memories. A whole ass camera. This was just like him.

“Thank you,” she murmured, smiling so widely at him that it hurt.

Matt just smiled helplessly at her in return.

“Can you tell me more about Sikh stuff now please?”

Sarah’s pleading interruption made her laugh, saving her from the explosion of butterflies in her stomach. “If your family don’t mind, I’m happy to tell you more about Sikhism, sure.”

Dhara looked at Matt and his parents, who all nodded and smiled at her. Well, here goes nothing. Time for a basic lesson in Sikhism.

“Sikhism was founded by Guru Nanak around 500 years ago in an area called the Punjab. That’s where my grandparents came from on my mother’s side, if you remember – Punjab is an area which spans part of India and Pakistan now, and they come from the Indian side of it. There are lot of different elements to Sikhism, but some of the main things that Sikhs believe are that your actions are important, and you should lead a good life. You should keep God in your heart and mind at all times, live honestly and work hard, treat everyone equally, be generous to those less fortunate than you, and to serve others,” Dhara listed.

“That sounds really nice,” Sarah said, smiling.

Dhara smiled back at her, heart warmed by the sweet words.

“It is, yes. I don’t attend temple, the Gurdwara, as much as I should, but it’s always really peaceful there. I always try to go for Lohri, the harvest festival in January, and I definitely celebrate Diwali in late October because my family always has, but there are many more holy days that Sikhs commemorate,” Dhara explained.

“Can you tell me about them?” Sarah asked hopefully.

Dhara glanced around the room, seeing Matt and his parents listening raptly, and nodded.

“Of course I can! Firstly…”

~

“Watch yourself, Matthew.”

Matt lifted his head from where he was washing up, seeing his mom standing next to him with a dish towel in hand. His dad, Sarah, and Dhara were all in the living room still, playing Go Fish, but Matt and his mom had moved to the kitchen to tackle at least some of the dishes.

“What?” he said, frowning.

“Don’t think I can’t see the way you look at Dhara,” she said pointedly.

Fuck.

Matt took a shaky breath and opened his mouth to protest, but his mom quickly shook her head.

“She is a lovely young woman with a bright future. Unless you can see marriage in the cards, then don’t mess her around. She deserves the best,” his mom said firmly.

Oh.

Oh.

“Yes, yes she does,” he murmured.

~

With Matt’s parents staying through until the 2nd January, the day before her classes started up again, Dhara had the full rest of the week to herself. The only thing she had planned was getting through work for her Database Management Systems class, but Dawn and Jim had insisted that she came to the game with them on the 28th. That whole evening had been so wholesome; it was clear exactly how much Matt’s parents loved and supported him, and to see his smiling face when they went down to see him after the game? Heartwarming.  Matt had also asked her to come to the New Year’s Eve party that Anders and Grace were throwing – his parents weren’t going to that, but he’d paid for them to have a nice dinner in Manhattan for their own celebration. Dhara almost said no to Matt’s invitation (because who was she to go to a private event like that?), but when he said that Grace had invited her specifically, she couldn’t resist. An invite from Grace Lee to her own party was not something that someone turned down. She knew she’d made the right decision when Grace texted her to say how excited she was that Dhara was coming, which made her feel like a little bit less of an intruder.

What was it with these people and forgetting she was literally just the nanny?

“You look nice,” Matt murmured.

“No daddy, Dhara looks beautiful,” Sarah said firmly.

Dhara laughed, ducking her head shyly just in time to miss the way Matt blushed. Her black sparkly long-sleeved bodycon dress was something that she kept on hand as the only semi-formal thing she had in her closet – so it was really her only option for the Lee’s New Year’s Eve party tonight.

“You’re right, my apologies Sarah,” Matt mused, grinning, “You do look beautiful, Dhara.”

Even if it was prompted by his daughter, it was still spine-tingling to hear Matt say those words.

“You’re too kind, both of you,” she laughed, shaking her head.

Matt just winked before kneeling down to help Sarah put her shoes on, leaving Dhara more flustered than she’d ever been in her life. Thankfully they didn’t have to wait long for the car service that Matt had insisted on, and soon enough their party of three arrived.

“Ah, welcome Martins and Nicholls!”

Dhara giggled at Anders’ booming voice, Matt rolling his eyes fondly as they entered the house.

“Thanks for having us,” Matt mused, handing over a bottle of very nice bourbon to his Captain.

Anders just grinned. “You’re always welcome, bud. Grace is in the kitchen making cocktails for the girls – we’re not invited to that, Matt, but you should definitely head in there so you don’t miss any good gossip, Dhara.”

“Oh, but Sarah…”

“Sarah can stick with me while we go and say hi to all her uncles before they get too drunk, hm?” Matt suggested.

“Drunk Uncle Casey is funny,” Sarah giggled.

“That settles it then!” Anders said cheerfully.

He pointed Dhara in the direction the kitchen and whisked Matt and Sarah away, leaving Dhara reeling. This wasn’t what she had expected at all – and now she was being shuffled over to the WAGs like she had any right to be there?

“Dhara! There you are! Grace is just finishing a fresh batch of mojitos – join us!”

She let out a shaky breath at Kristy’s happy exclamation, but followed her with a smile. She could totally do this. She could go with the flow, especially with Matt’s insistence, and she could just get back to watching Sarah after this drink, right? If Matt was okay with it?

In truth, nothing happened the way she thought it would over the night. While she did return back to watching over Sarah, all of the other WAGs with kids insisted they she took breaks to enjoy herself because they could all chip in to watch the kids. It did make her feel weird because hello, it was literally her job to nanny, but Matt’s happy face every time she took a break to socialise was too strong to resist. The main thing that struck her though was how much she stuck out like a sore thumb. Not just in terms of appearance – she figured she was going to be one of the only people of colour there – but just in terms of importance? Not even all the team was here – the youngest ones were off clubbing apparently, which made Dhara all the more aware of how intimate this gathering was. She didn’t belong here, not in this world. What was her life coming to?

She didn’t know if Matt’s presence helped either. All through the night he made she sure had enough to drink (she stuck to water or soda after that first lethal mojito from Grace) and enough to eat. He included her in every conversation, introduced her to people she hadn’t met yet, and checked in on her when she was watching Sarah. Every time she could see a couple of his teammates and/or the WAGs smirking slightly – but not in a mean way. And certainly not mocking her. It was confusing to say the least, like the lines were blurring without giving her any way to read the meaning of the situation, and it was all she could do to try to let it go. Matt was just being a gentleman, that was all.

When it came to a couple of minutes until the ball drop though, Dhara found herself squished onto a sofa in front of the TV that Anders was setting up, with Sarah fast asleep on her lap and Matt sitting down at her side.

“Champagne?” Matt said, holding out a second glass.

“I suppose one glass couldn’t hurt to bring in the new year,” Dhara mused.

She tried to ignore the way her stomach fizzled as their fingers brushed. Eventually, with just 30 seconds to spare, the living room was packed with party guests, Dhara essentially pressed fully up into Matt’s side. All she could do was remember to breathe, keeping her focus anchored on Sarah to distract herself from the warmth of his thigh against hers. It was intoxicating to say the least, and she was grateful at least for the noise of the room drowning out her thoughts.

“3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

As fireworks exploded across the screen and out the windows, and couples embraced all around the room, Dhara’s breath caught in the throat as she looked up at Matt to see him already looking down at her.

“Happy New Year, Dhara,” he murmured.

“Happy New Year,” she said softly back.

The intensity in his eyes made fire burn through her skin, barely softened by the champagne she poured down her throat. The way he looked at her…it almost felt real.

~

Dhara’s birthday was always a strange time of year for her. She never did anything massive to celebrate it, just casual dinner and drinks with friends and a phone call with her parents, but this year it fell at the end of January on a Saturday, at the end of Matt’s bye week. He had no other plans that spending time with Sarah anyway, so he gave her the week off to relax.

Relax, hah.

She had her thesis proposal to finish, with the final submission of the full finished thing due at the beginning of May, but she’d managed to sort out the data she wanted to use in the first half of January – so she was able to use her week off from nannying to finish the proposal. She holed herself up in her bedroom, surrounded by drinks and snacks, barely taking any breaks other than to reassure her roommate that she was still alive, until she submitted it to her supervising professor.

It was worth it, to feel like she’d accomplished something she was proud of.

Dhara emerged from her ‘coding cave’ the day before her birthday, her roommate shoving her straight into the shower while she ordered them both Thai food to celebrate. It felt good to have a little time to actually relax before her birthday, because before dinner and drinks with her friends, Matt had planned a surprise lunch for her.

She should have expected the restaurant he chose to be a fancy one. She’d never eaten anywhere so nice, not even when her parents came up for her undergraduate degree graduation.

“I have one more surprise for you,” Matt announced, just as he paid the bill, “if you have time to come back to the house with us.”

Sarah was basically wriggling in her seat, quietly begging please please please, and how could Dhara say no to that? All through the drive back to Matt’s house, Sarah was whispering to him and giggling away, making Dhara smile to herself. Seeing the young girl so excited made her excited – and after the incredible surprise Christmas gift he’d gotten her? She could only hope it wasn’t something crazy.

“Okay Sarah, you go ahead and open the door while I make sure Dhara isn’t peeking,” Matt said with a smile.

“What,” she said flatly.

Matt just smiled innocently, stepping behind her, and it was all Dhara could to do gasp as he gently placed his hands over her eyes from behind. Fuck.

“Door’s open daddy!”

“Okay sweetheart, why don’t you take Dhara’s hands and slowly guide her indoors,” Matt instructed, “if you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah sure, go for it,” Dhara laughed.

As if her today could get any stranger than this. So with Sarah’s small hands in hers and Matt’s large hands over her eyes (his cologne smelled so good this close, it was unreal), Dhara was slowly guided into the Martin house, taking heed of Sarah’s instructions not to bash into things, until she was standing in what she was sure was the rarely-used dining room. Matt and Sarah always preferred to eat at the kitchen island, but she knew where this room was. Why was she here?

“Ready?” Matt asked.

“Ready. I think,” Dhara mused.

Sarah let go of her hands at the same time as Matt removed his, and as soon as she opened her eyes, her breath caught in her throat. What the hell. In front of her, on the dining room table, were two computer screens, high definition and huge, with a docking station and all the appropriate wires to connect them to a laptop. To her laptop? What the hell.

“Matt…” she breathed.

Sarah just giggled at her reaction before skipping out of the room, leaving them alone. Leaving Dhara with her mind whirling.

“I know you were talking about how it’s easier to see your code side by side, and rather than doing the split screen thing you have been doing on just your laptop, I thought this would be more helpful,” he explained.

He remembered that from her rambling? He was listening?

“I can’t believe you bought me two computer screens. And a docking station. This is too much, Matt, really. I can’t accept them,” she murmured.

This was so personal – no-one had ever paid attention to her like this, and it was coming from him?

“Hey, no, this is important for you. For your work. I want to make sure that you have everything that you need to finish your degree in the best way possible – you’ve done so much for us and I just wanted to do this little thing for you. Besides, you only turn 25 once, right?”

“This isn’t little, Matt. And I’m just a nanny, I’ve barely done anything,” Dhara protested.

“If that’s all that you think you are to Sarah, and to me, then I’m clearly not doing enough to show you differently,” he said firmly.

The tone of his voice made her shiver in all the right ways.

“Matt, I…”

She trailed off at the intense look he was giving her.

“Happy birthday, Dhara,” Matt murmured, smiling softly.

It was all she could do to hug him tightly, sinking slightly into his chest as his arms immediately wrapped around her too. His shirt was soft against her cheek, that intoxicating cologne filling her senses, so much so that as she moved to break the hug, she impulsively kissed his cheek. Fuck. Dhara froze for a moment, stunned at her own audacity, but as she leaned back, Matt looked just as stunned – other than the pleased smile on his lips.

“Sarah! Come and say goodbye to Dhara so she can go out with her friends!” he called out, dropping his arms to let her go.

Dhara smiled at the sound of pattering footsteps, even more so as Sarah hugged her legs tightly.

“Dhara! You’re still my friend too, right?”

Be still her beating heart.

“Of course I am. I’ll be back here on Monday, ready for Kindergarten as usual,” she promised.

“Good. Happy birthday Dhara!” Sarah said happily.

Matt’s eyes never left her once.

~

With only a few weeks left until Spring Break, Dhara didn’t know where her final year of her degree was going. She knew she was going to use that Spring Break time to finish as much of her thesis as possible – and she knew she was going to be spending the whole week at Matt’s. Her new computer screens had stayed at his house as there was way more room for her to work there, and the couple of occasions she’d used them there for her classwork and he’d been home, he always smiled a pleased little smile like he was proud of himself for providing for her. It was…strange.

Everything was strange.

Since that kiss on the cheek, the dynamic between them had grown even more tense. Every stolen glance, brushed fingers, sweet smile, all felt like she was getting away with something forbidden. If anyone knew the illicit way she thought of Matt, she knew she’d burst into flames. And it wasn’t like she could be sure about how he felt about her either. Sure, he looked – but she was a beautiful Indian woman, and many men looked. It just felt different when she felt Matt’s eyes on her body, that was all.

She knew it was futile though. She was his nanny, nothing else. And she didn’t dare mess anything up with her employment now that she was only a couple of months away from turning in her thesis and finishing her Masters in Computer Science. She knew that she had to seriously start applying for jobs for starting in June, knew she didn’t want her years of hard work to go to waste – but it was so hard to decide exactly what she wanted when her head was spinning.

In a dream world, she’d have the career she’d always fantasised about, with Matt and Sarah by her side. But this was reality – girls like her didn’t get the career and the guy. She had to be realistic with herself, otherwise she was going to drown. She knew she had to stop indulging her daydreams and wake up – it wasn’t worth the inevitable heartache, as much as those dreams were nice to fall asleep to.

Still, when Spring Break arrived and Matt refused to let her nanny for him, rather than holing herself up in the bedroom of her tiny apartment, she holed herself up in Matt’s dining room, only emerging when Matt dragged her out to get some sleep or Sarah begged her to eat dinner with them. It was a weird but welcome change, to have people care about her wellbeing like that (her current roommate had her own weird work hours), so when she finally came out of her week of thesis writing and showered, she felt more human than she usually did after a data spree like that. It was refreshing to say the least.

“I can’t believe you spent your final ever Spring Break sitting at my dining room table,” Matt teased, handing her a plate of sliced apples.

Dhara stuck her tongue out at Matt as she happily took the plate, making him laugh.

“I needed to get my thesis finished as soon as possible so I can work on editing it and proving the data works. And I managed to get it nearly finished – now it’s just concluding it and all the weeks of editing to get done. Otherwise, all the hard work of the past three years will come to nothing, and I won’t be able to get a good job like I deserve,”

“Right, yes, of course. A job using computer science,” Matt nodded.

The way he said it though, and the way he looked like a kicked puppy, made her heart ache. “Matt, you knew I would only be able to work for you for a year. We talked about this, right from the start.”

“I know,” he said quickly, shaking his head with a smile, “It’s just going to be strange not having you around. You feel like part of the family already, and you know that Sarah loves you.”

Fuck.

“Matt, you’re killing me,” she murmured.

“Sorry,” he quickly said.

“No you’re not,” she said dryly.

“I am a little bit.”

Dhara huffed out a laugh, shaking her head. “I love systems analysis and the increase in importance of connectivity to keep up with modern systems within growing infrastructure, and I would love to work in something like that because it’s where my passion is. I just…I hope I can find something that takes a chance on a nobody like me.”

“You are the furthest thing from a nobody, Dhara. You’re incredible and talented and a beautiful person inside and out, and you deserve the best. Whatever you need, whatever I can help with, I will, okay? References, making calls, whatever. You name it and I’m there.”

Her lips parted in surprise at his supportive words, eyes stinging with tears, but she found herself smiling. He was such a sweetheart.

“That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Dhara said, voice thick with emotion as she stepped forward to hug him.

She felt herself tremble slightly at the warmth of Matt’s hands on her back, even more so at the way he buried his face in her long thick curls, and tried to savour the feeling of his arms around her while she still could. How had their time together come to an end so quickly? How was this fair?

“Yeah, well, you deserve everything and more,” Matt said gruffly as he stepped back.

If only she could read his mind right now, to see what thoughts were running behind the complicated expression on his face, then she would do it in an instant.

“Thank you, Matt,” she murmured.

“You’re welcome. Make sure you start applying soon, okay?”

~

Network Operations Engineer – Madison Square Garden Entertainment – full time.

Submission – completed.

~

March.

April.

May.

His fleeting time left with Dhara was slipping through his fingers. The harder he tried to hold on, the faster the days flew by, until she submitted her thesis and the end was in sight. He couldn’t blame her for being excited – fuck knows he wouldn’t be sane after all the years of education she’d gone through – but he couldn’t stop the anxiety that built in his chest when he thought of how, soon, she wouldn’t be laughing and smiling and typing away at her computer in his house.

The Islanders had barely lost the first round of the playoffs, kicking and scraping to the last minute, and now with the whole summer stretched out in front of him, the thought of spending it without her was excruciating. But Matt knew he had no claim on Dhara, had no right to feel this way, no matter how she looked at him or smiled sweetly at him or that one time she’d kissed his cheek. She was everything he hadn’t known he’d wanted and needed, and now she was soon to be gone from his life forever.

He, Matt Martin, was completely gone for Dhara Nicholls, and he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do about it.

“Dhara, come on, you’re not watching!”

Matt rolled his eyes fondly at Sarah’s petulant whining. “Sarah Dawn Martin, that’s not how we speak to our friends.”

He could see Dhara biting her lip to hide a smile as Sarah huffed dramatically.

“Dhara, please will you watch this with me? You said you would!”

“Of course, why don’t I just get us some more water each and we can settle in, hm?”

“Deal!”

Matt watched Dhara walk over to where he was putting together lunch in the kitchen, unable to stop himself smiling at her the moment she smiled at him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

She giggled, shaking her head at herself as she pulled a couple of bottles of water out the fridge.

“How’s it going in there with the Drill Sergeant?” he mused.

“Oh it’s tough, but I think I’ll make it out alive,” she grinned.

Why was everything so easy between them? Nothing had ever been this easy before.

“Look, I, uh…I was hoping to ask you something?”

Dhara raised an eyebrow with a bemused smile but nodded, leaning against the counter next to him. “Go for it.”

“So you know it’s my birthday on Saturday?” he started.

Dhara just nodded, smiling.

“Okay cool, so I know you have things to finalise this week, with administration at your university, but Casey and the guys and girls have organised a night out and I was hoping you’d come? So yeah, come out with us, please,” he said, cursing himself for rambling.

“Oh, thank you – I just…what about Sarah?” she asked.

So sweet.

“She’s having a sleepover with a friend from Kindergarten, I already sorted that,” Matt said simply, smiling.

“Well in that case, I’d love to. If you’re sure?” Dhara said, uncertainly.

“Of course I’m sure. I want you out celebrating with me,” he said firmly.

While he couldn’t tell if she was blushing or not, the flash of surprise and something else in her eyes satisfied something inside of him that felt distinctly feral. He really was losing his control around her, wasn’t he?

“Then I’ll be there,” she said sweetly, “You only turn 35 once after all.”

Matt just grinned.

Saturday night rolled around quicker than he’d expected. The WAGs had taken Dhara out with them to get ready – the full works apparently, hair, make-up, and manicures, all of which he paid for Dhara because it was last minute – and when the ladies finally arrived to the restaurant he’d booked out for dinner? Well, it felt like he’d been punched in the face. It wasn’t that her dark curls were glossy and teased to volumed perfection. It wasn’t that her make-up was flawless, full glam like she never did herself. No, it was the emerald green mid-thigh strappy silk dress she’d clearly borrowed from one of the other ladies. The dress was so dainty and unlike anything he’d ever seen her wear, close enough to a negligee that it sent his mind reeling. He knew she had a great figure already, and that her legs were long and toned, but seeing them like this? It was mindblowing. And, obviously, it had taken everything in his power not to drool or let his jaw drop.

Naturally he missed Casey and Anders smirking at their wives and receiving triumphant grins in response from Grace and Kristy. Dhara’s sweet greeting and warm hug made everyone else in the room disappear.

Still, after dinner and going to a couple of bars, they ended up in a night club nearing midnight, Anders having booked a couple of tables upstairs in the VIP area. The whole group had a couple of shots together, toasting Matt’s 35th birthday, before the WAGs all dragged Dhara off to dance with them. From their table he could just about see her in the middle of the dancefloor, looking like she was having the time of her life, body swaying and moving in a way that had his full attention. Captivating.

He watched her on and off for the next half hour, switching between talking to the guys, sipping on his whisky and coke. But it wasn’t until Casey thumped down next down next to him and clapped him on the shoulder with a huff that he realised anyone had noticed.

“Come on man, just go down to the dancefloor and put us all out of our misery,” Casey groaned.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Matt frowned.

“You’re pining after Dhara and it’s driving us crazy,” he retorted.

“We’ve talked about this. She’s my nanny,” Matt said sharply.

“Yeah okay, like that even matters. I’ve seen the way you look at her and Kristy’s seen the way she looks at you, and it’s not like she’s going to be your nanny for much longer, right?” Casey smirked.

“Oh fuck you.”

“Fuck her.”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Matt all but growled.

Casey just grinned, clearly getting the answer he wanted, goading Matt just like he intended. Damn it, he really did know him too well.

“Love you too bud. Stop being a coward,” Casey just snickered, patting Matt on the shoulder, a clear indication to just get out of there.

And if the desire to dance with Dhara hadn’t won out, he knew he’d be scowling at his friend. Instead, he found himself drifting down the stairs from the VIP area to where he lasted spotted Dhara in the crowd, and soon enough he found her. She looked like a goddess: swaying from side to side, multi-coloured lights brushing across her brown skin like a Picasso painting, and he felt himself mesmerised. She turned her head slightly at the prompting of Grace, wide smile stretching across her lips when she spotted him.

“Mind if I join you?” Matt said, raising his voice.

“Of course not birthday boy!” Dhara said happily.

Matt stepped closer to her, barely registering the rest of the ladies grinning at each other and slipping away through the crowd to leave them alone. His attention was completely captured – Dhara’s hips swaying so close to him were a massive distraction – and it wasn’t until a familiar song started playing that he finally looked up at her face.

“I love this song!” she said happily.

Dhara turned her back to him, confusing him slightly, until she looked back over her shoulder expectantly. He knew they’d both had a fair amount of alcohol to drink at this point, but her eyes were clear enough – dance with me. He could barely control himself as he stepped up behind her fully, hands on her hips, pulling her gently back against him, the soft moan that sounded from her lips making him feel wild. Fuck, he could feel himself stirring where his crotch was pressed just above her ass, even more so as she continued to sway her hips.

“Come, lay me down, 'Cause you know this, 'Cause you know this sound

In the middle of the night, In the middle of the night, Just call my name, I'm yours to tame...”

“Matt,” Dhara murmured, looking up at him.

He followed his base instincts for once, staying silent as he used the grip he had on her hips to spin her around to face him, taking pleasure in the look of surprise on her face and the flash of lust in her eyes, swaying their bodies together again.

“…I'm wide awake, I crave your taste all night long, 'Til morning comes, I'm getting what is mine, You gon' get yours, oh no, ooh, In the middle of the night.”

“Matt please.”

It was all he could do to guide her quickly through the crowd to the edge of the dancefloor, to an empty spot against the wall, leaving them mostly in the shadow, the bright flashes of light illuminating them just about enough to see each other’s faces.

“Tell me to stop,” Matt murmured into her ear, hands threading into her thick curls.

“Kiss me,” she replied, lifting her head in challenge.

He didn’t hesitate to press his lips to hers, kissing her just as she’d demanded, his heart immediately soaring. Dhara moaned into his mouth, moaned again when he pushed her firmly up against the wall, kissing him back just as eagerly as her hands clutched at his shirt. It was like she melted against his body as he slid his tongue past her lips, fire zipping through his blood, his head swirling. Matt kissed Dhara over and over again, one hand leaving her hair to clutch at her hip, the silk of her dress driving him mad and doing nothing to mask the heat of her skin, and while the music washed over them, he wanted nothing more than to get her away from this crowded dancefloor and take her home.

Fuck, it was intoxicating how well she fit into his arms, how her body was moulded to his, how their tongues danced together as intimately as their bodies had done. In all the times he’d thought about kissing her, about holding her, nothing could compare to the real thing. Nothing could compare to this.

But he needed to know that it wasn’t just him, that she wasn’t just kissing him because she was drunk. He didn’t think he would survive that. The confused noise she made when he broke the kiss just about broke his heart though.

“Dhara, baby, I gotta know…”

He groaned, kissing down her neck, feeling like he was shaking apart at her soft moans.

“What, Matt?” she gasped as he nipped at her skin.

“You’re not…you’re not too drunk right now, right? You want this?”

“Matt, I’ve been drinking water throughout the night between drinks. I want this. I want you. I just didn’t know if you wanted me,” she said, shrugging with a sheepish smile.

She didn’t know if he wanted her?

He rested his forehead against hers, pressing her fully into the wall again so she could feel where he was half hard in his jeans. Dhara giggled, pulling him down into another kiss with her grip on his shirt, and Matt was all too happy to oblige her, knowing he’d never get enough of her now that he’d tasted her.

“It’s not just sex, baby, I swear. I want all of you,” Matt murmured, breaking their kiss again to suck on the thin skin behind her ear.

“You promise?” she asked softly into his ear, almost shyly.

“I promise,” he nodded, as serious as he could manage in this moment.

“Then take me home.”

“Yeah?” he grinned.

“Yeah, take me home Matt,” she grinned back.

~

Dhara woke with a soft groan, eyes feeling gritty and mouth as dry as an old sock. She blearily lifted her head, grabbing the glass of water on the side table and chugging it, body not recognising the weight of an arm over her waist until her head was a bit clearer.

An arm over her waist.

Over her bare waist.

Matt’s arm.

She let out a shaky breath as all the memories of the night before flooded into her head. Dancing intimately with Matt in the nightclub where anyone could see them. Making out on the side of the dancefloor. The two of them leaving the club without telling anyone, barely keeping their hands off each other in the uber back to his. Then a rush of lips and hands and teeth and bare skin, and waves of pleasure over and over again, crying out his name without a care in the world.

It was everything she’d ever dreamed over, and now, waking up in his bed with his bare body pressed to hers, it was her nightmare all the same.

She’d never acted like this before in her life. Never slept with a man she wasn’t dating. Absolutely never slept with her boss. What kind of trashy behaviour was that? How could he ever think she was worth his time if this is the way she acted the first time he showed interest? Fuck.

But she remembered his words too. How he checked that she wasn’t too drunk, that she wanted this. How he swore it wasn’t just sex, that he wanted her. How insistent he was on promising that it wasn’t just talk to get her into bed. And in between each of the many orgasms he brought her to, he checked in with her each time, making sure she was okay, just because that’s who he was.

He was Matt Martin, gentleman under a rough handsome exterior, and he wanted her.

None of that changed her insecurities though, how all of this was so out of character for her. Not to mention, she knew damn well that everyone knew what they did last night, why they left the club early, and wasn’t that mortifying? No, she needed some air, she needed to think. And to maybe put on some clothes she’d left in the spare room because there was no way she could wear Kristy’s tiny silk dress home in broad daylight.

With a shaky breath, Dhara gently picked up Matt’s arm, moving it off of her body, before slowly sitting upright. If she could just stand up without waking him it would be…

“Good morning. Going somewhere?”

Matt’s husky voice made her freeze, a wave of guilt washing over her, before she turned to face him, sheets clutched to her bare chest.

“I…I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing,” she murmured, more honest than she cared to be.

And if that wasn’t a metaphor for her life since she met him, what was?

He just frowned, sitting upright, and she couldn’t stop her gaze from raking over his chest, his biceps, his shoulders. Damn. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Where should I start?” Dhara said, feeling a little hysterical.

“I thought we were on the same page last night,” Matt said hesitantly, “I thought we both wanted this.”

“We did,” she said quickly, “I did. But…you know this doesn’t make any sense right?”

“Why not? You like me, I like you. You want me, I want you. It’s simple,” he frowned.

If only.

“It’s not simple at all, Matt. Not for me. It’s one thing for you to have the hots for your young pretty nanny, but to actually hook up with her? And to say you want something more? People are going to think I’m a gold digger! That I trapped you! That I manipulated my way into your life!”

“Dhara, all of that is bullshit. I don’t care what people think. Anyone who dares to call you a gold digger is an asshole who doesn’t know us. Everyone who knows us knows it isn’t like that at all. You’ve already got a job lined up waiting for you with Madison Square Garden Entertainment Group and you only just handed in your thesis – like, you’re going to be making your own money so it’s not like you only like me for that, right?”

“Well, no, but…”

“And you didn’t even know who I was when you first interviewed with me, so it’s not like you planned this, right?”

“Of course I didn’t, but…”

“If you don’t want anything more than this one night with me then obviously I would accept that. It would suck and the last few weeks of you working for me would be really awkward, but damn Dhara, I want a future with you,” Matt finished, taking one of her hands in his, the other still clutching at the bed sheet.

He really wants a future with her?

“You do?” she asked softly, almost as if she didn’t believe it.

“Yeah, I do,” he nodded, smiling warmly, “I mean, I’m not sure what you see in me – I’m a 35 year old hockey player who’s nearing the end of his career, already divorced once with a kid who doesn’t have an off switch or a volume control, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life…but I just know that I want you in my life, however I can have you.”

“You’re the kindest, sweetest, most handsome man I’ve ever met, with a daughter who loves you so much, and you see me for more than the Indian girl stuck behind a computer screen. I…I never expected this, any of this Matt, but I want to try?” she said, biting her bottom lip.

The way his face lit up with sweet genuine smile made her heart soar.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me. I’m going to do my best to make you so happy too, Dhara, I swear,” he grinned.

Dhara huffed out a laugh, laughing properly as he tugged the sheet out of her hand and guided her to lie down again in the messy bed, sliding his thick arm over her waist to tug their bare bodies together, lying face to face in the most intimate yet soft way she’d ever lain with another man.

And in that moment, it didn’t matter that her career was just about to kick off while his was in its hockey-twilight. And it didn’t matter than he was 10 years older than her, a whole wealth of life experience that she barely had. And it didn’t matter what people would whisper about them, or what judgemental looks she was get, or that her mother had never met him, or even that none of this would ever have happened in her wildest dreams.

All that mattered was that he wanted her, in his bed, in his family, in his life.

“Can I kiss you, baby?”

“Yes.”

~

Tagging a few people: @jostyriggslover96 @misshoneyimhome @senditcolton @fallinallincurls @2manytabsopen

[dropintomanga]

AI Can't Be the Whole Solution for Manga

So this week I found out out a Japanese start-up called Orange, who wants to be the Netflix of manga by translating a lot of manga with new apps and tools for the world to fight against online piracy. And to do so, the company will use AI to machine translate all of their manga into English. They also received $20 million USD in funding (one of their investors is Shogakukan) for their goal. This company wants to release up to 500 titles a month at some point.

I honestly don't know how to feel about this.

I read a more in-depth report from Deb Aoki of ComicsBeat and Mangasplaining about this whole startup. There's a lot of tout given by Orange about how this will help the manga industry overseas. Terms like deep learning, accessible content, influencers, reducing cost of localization, etc. are thrown around. Orange already has done some work for Shueisha for some of its MangaPlus titles. While it's apparent that the North American market only gets a small fraction of the manga published in Japan, there's concerns over whether this endeavor will end well.

A good number of manga translators and editors in the North American localization scene have commented on how bad this can be. AI machine translation is far from perfect. While DeepL (a Japanese language translation app similar to Google Translate) is arguably better than Google Translate, there's still errors abound. AI machine translation doesn't seem to be at a stage where you can just show it off to the world and have it translate something like a research paper with context. And even if the translation was good, there still needs to be people to fix errors AI will miss and the jobs to fix those errors don't necessarily pay well since they're the equivalent of "data entry" jobs.

And speaking as someone who reads up on mental health news, AI is not good for picking up nuances and differences that can help people for the better. It's only good for standardizing universal treatments. AI can not be open to the vulnerabilities of other people. One recent story I read last year was about a eating disorder helpline that created a chatbot to help those with eating disorders and how it bombed. There were complaints about how the bot didn't address patients' concerns that they were feeling down or bad about their bodies. Even worse, the chatbot gave some horrible advice by telling people to follow behaviors that led to their eating disorders in the first place. The support staff was fired in favor of the chatbot and while the chatbot was taken down after the complaints, it still left a bad taste in my mouth because mental health problems can never be solved without the human element.

I see this with what's apparently going to happen with manga. I don't see this creating a better world for manga readers. I'm well aware that there are a few professional manga translators in the scene who aren't doing a good job, but I feel they're doing fine for the most part. There's a glaring issue though that most people aren't thinking about - the amount of content we have out there.

We're in a golden age of having so much catered to us that it's ridiculous. Anime, manga, webtoons, video games, board games, music, etc. There's a lot out there. And to have a Japanese startup proclaim that they want to put out up to 500 titles a month, who realistically has the time to read all of them? I wonder if that's the point of these ventures - beat down consumers with so much material to consume that they become apathetic to what's going on behind the scenes.

I do want people to read manga, but I don't want them to become so overwhelmed to the point of burnout and numbness. That's the last thing any manga fan should want. I'm already hearing complaints from my fellow manga peers about the amount of manga we're getting here. It's nice to see bookshelves and libraries filled with manga, but which titles are really being read?

I also think there seems to be no universal standard that EVERYONE can agree with regards to localization. You have the professional side that knows a lot due to being inside the industry, but can be hindered by the Japanese publishing side and pestered by fans who think they know better. And you have the fan side that thinks they know everything because of scanlations and miscellaneous fan translations.

If you're a professional, it's a rough job and I applaud all manga freelancers who do it. Sometimes, I may not agree with the localization choices. But I'm not going to raise a pitchfork and treat them like they're witches. I know a few of those folks in-person and see the human in them.

If you're a fan, you can't expect a very casual reader to understand Japanese terms being spoken out right off the bat. It takes a while to get used to those terms. I'll use myself as an example as a riichi mahjong player. I throw out terms like suji, kabe, mentanpin, ryanmen, etc. to my fellow players. However, if there's an absolute beginner I'm talking to, they will have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.

I know some fans are like "Whatever, understanding those terms make me stand out. Yeah, I'm different! Screw the normal world!" But that makes it sound like gatekeeping to a certain degree. It's fine to have that kind of knowledge, but binding it to the very fabric of your identity is not healthy when circumstances change.

Orange seems to want a universal standard for manga translation by incorporating a variety of people into their process, but the fact that people will only be involved AFTER the translation makes me skeptical and the company is being called out for some things on their website. Both professionals and consumers will be screwed here. AI is being pushed so hard by corporations because it can readily applied to real life jobs and regular people in many ways, compared to cryptocurrency/NFTs, which applies only to people with a crap ton of money to spend. I've seen instances of AI usage at the company I work at - some of it good, some of it bad.

But nothing will beat the will and heart of the people. I think that's what scares AI-promoting people. Turning us into total mindless consumers prevents us from being mindful people that want to do right by others. Sure, reading manga makes me happy. But I don't want to be the only one who's happy. I also want people to make informed choices about what to consume.

I also want some people to stop assuming that Japan is the most "anti-woke" country alive out of their rage against localization because it's totally not. Japan has problems and there's people living there speaking out against them. They're "woke" in their own way. I swear that almost everyone who thinks Japan is better than the West hasn't lived there at all and are basing things from a very filtered point of view. I actually feel sorry for them because their lives are just so focused on consuming without thinking for themselves - a perfect market for the AI-pushing crowd.

I'll finish by saying that this AI-powered manga translation venture needs to happen with the right kind of people already on the table through the whole process and where everyone benefits. Everything bad with AI, as far as I've seen, has left people behind with no compassion or empathy. Manga has taught the wonders of compassion and empathy for all and I don't see the Japanese business side of things preaching what their works speak.

[leng-m]

I came across this interview about how unpaid domestic work is primed for automation, and I have really mixed feelings about it. On one hand, as a career woman who wants my own family in the future, I am bracing for the challenge of having to juggle work and family life in the years ahead. But at the same time, this interview got me thinking about what exactly constitutes grunt work?

You always hear about how AI and automation should takeover work that "nobody" wants to do so that we can focus on things we want to do. But what exactly is that work that "nobody" wants to do? This past year, the art and writing communities have been bombarded with messages that the things we love to do have actually been just "grunt" work for everybody else all this time and should be automated away and "democratized" (they keep using that work, but I don't think they know what it means). Even when I'm reading examples of types of processes within writing and art that most writers and artists find cumbersome, I come across messages from people who say, "Actually, I love that part, and I would love to have that as a job and get paid for it." You know one profession that I personally think constitutes a lot of grunt work? Dentistry! AND YET, dentists are some of the most passionate people I have ever met. And there are people who believe that what I do for a job is grunt work and that programmers are only in the business because the pay is good. But I actually love coding. And there are people who will say the same things about data entry or garbage collecting or housekeeping.

I don't really have a put-together thought on this only that, maybe no activity is really safe from automation. Because someone out there will inevitably find some activity as grunt work worth relegating to machines, even if other people like to do it.

[invisibleraven]

Christmas prompts! “You’re my Christmas angel.” - “Wow that was…intense.” - “Just take the compliment.” for Rulie because I have to! ❤️

Julie was struggling, laden down with bags and boxes as she tried to make her way out of the store. She was so close to being done her shopping, and then she could officially start actually celebrating the holiday.

“Here, let me get that for you,” a gentleman next to her said, holding the door open.

“Oh thanks, you’re an angel,” Julie said, shuffling outside. The man grinned at her, his greens eyes reminiscent of the holly leaves hung everywhere, his cheeks pink like the sweetest cotton candy.

“Well it is the season for them,” he said. “Happy Holidays!”

Julie returned the sentiment then dove into the bustling crowds, and sighing when she finally made it home and away from people.

But of course, then Julie remembered that she needed to eat over the break so off to the grocery store the next day it was. Loading up her cart with enough to last her a few days, plus stuff to make cookies to take to her dad’s. Only her vertically challenged self couldn’t reach the silver star sprinkles she needed for her shortbreads.

She was straining to reach, and about to scale the shelf spider monkey style when a large hand reached up and placed the sprinkles in her cart. Turning she saw the same man from the day before shooting her a crooked grin.

“Serendipity,” he said. “Anything else you need me to reach for?”

“Trying for your wings?” she joked.

“Maybe,” he replied with a smirk.

“I’m good, but thanks again. You really are an angel.”

“Pretty sure angels have better names than Reggie,” he quipped.

“Fairly certain Clarence from It’s A Wonderful Life would disagree. I’m Julie by the way.”

“Well Julie, make sure you think of me if you hear any bells ringing later today,” Reggie said, nodding at her and heading off. Julie grinned and went back to her shopping, already knowing what movie she was putting on that evening.

A day or two later though, she got a frantic call from her agent. “The holiday act at The Starlight Lounge caught mono. They’ll pay double her rate if you fill in for tonight and tomorrow afternoon.”

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve Flynn,” Julie protested.

“It’s a hour and a half singing carols for an obscene amount of money Jules. Plus lots of labels hang out there, you might get noticed and not have to work your terrible data entry job if you do this.”

Julie sighed and agreed, and Flynn told her the details. She headed off to the club in a nice slinky red dress and asked for Mr. Peters. “I’m here as the substitute holiday act?”

“So you’re my Christmas angel,” a very familiar voice said, sounding equal parts relieved and amazed. Turning, she saw Reggie looking at her and she grinned, purposefully jingling the bell earrings she was wearing, making them ring.

“Guess we both get our wings,” she joked.

Reggie chortled and directed her to the stage. Julie did her show, voice soaring as she gave each of the songs her all. Even saw Reggie wipe a tear away at her last number, O Holy Night.

She bowed and rushed off stage, grinning ear to ear as Reggie clapped. “Well that was… intense.”

“Heavenly even?” Julie quipped.

“Shit up and take the compliment,” Reggie replied. “But maybe… we could have a holiday drink? Exchange a few more compliments?”

“Sounds divine,” Julie replied, loving how Reggie stretched his neck back in a groan, and held out her hand. He took it, leading her to the bar, and when he did, Julie swore she heard bells.

[bumblebeerror]

[this anon was originally written back in early august, in response to this: https://www.tumblr.com/bumblebeerror/757738358762094592/data-entry-seems-like-it-has-to-do-with-computers?source=share , but it seems like it got lost or deleted in your inbox. luckily i had it saved in my notes so i'm gonna send it to you again]

...

i also forgot to mention that another thing i could do really easily: write paragraphs/articles/essays.

you said it yourself, my asks are "novella-sized" and it usually takes me less than 30 minutes to write them (once i get in the appropriate frame of mind and start writing on autopilot). it's super natural for me and it feels satisfying when i get it off my chest. if only there was some kind of job that would pay me to write stuff for them, that would be a very easy way for me to make money. and i could write from home!

there are questions you ask during job interviews? i thought the employer was the one asking all the questions and you are only allowed to give answers? what.

i know people might understand my phobia of bugs and be sympathetic, but it's not about them. it's about how this phobia interferes with my proper functioning. i can't even cook a meal for myself without running back to my room in fear because i saw a spider. that's a problem. if i start living alone at one point, it'll be an even bigger problem.

unfortunately i don't live in the US, so i can't do state healthcare :( but i do live in western europe, so my country is pretty well-off and has a decent standard of living.

yeah, I'm 20, but i honestly feel 80. and i'm not disabled, but sometimes i feel spiritually disabled. it's like i'm in a deep pit. i've been in this pit for over a decade. and i feel like the harder i try to climb my way out to the surface, the further i fall down. every day i feel like i get further and further from the surface.

and i'm sorry to hear about your situation. but you can get through this. take it one day at a time! i wish you luck in finding a new job as well, bumble. :)

...

[add-on which i wrote today]:

i am doing okay, i think. not sure how i feel anymore or what direction i am heading in. i feel disoriented. and i'm still not on speaking terms with my mother or anybody. it's been over a month since we last spoke. damn...

but anyways, i love the finch app a lot, it's so cool. it really helps me do things i usually have no motivation for. it does cheer me up.

- 🍄

You never know, you could always see if you can get in somewhere writing for a living. Local newspapers and stuff. I was close with a guy who used to write articles on freelance to support him and his mom.

Brains are hard, man. Maybe the way to deal with it is sorta… going around it, in a way. Instead of dealing with bugs and spiders and stuff directly, you could use repellent to make them leave or just simplify tasks where they hang out so that you don’t have to spend so much time around them, that’s usually how I deal with spiders.

In general, honestly, I use a lot of shortcuts. Meal replacers, bath wipes, premade stuff and setting up things when I have energy for when I don’t, y’know?

That kinda pit is exactly how a lot of people describe depression. The most annoying part of it is that it tries to make you feel like fighting it is useless or hurts more, eventually though that’s about the only way to feel better.

I’m getting used to just not having a car 😅 it’s been rough, but it’s fine. I’m thinking about trying to scrape some money together to get a bike instead so that I can still run little errands in town at least.

I’m glad things are changing, even if you don’t know where they’re going, yet. You sound a little more hopeful about it all. I hope your mom comes around at some point. But I’m glad you like the app! Its so so good for giving you reasons to do things and the outfits are fun :3

[flamecannak]

Flame Dispensary

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Our next goal is to find a time that works best for you to come get your belongings. The second is to take care of any prerequisites. We would really appreciate it if you could provide the following information to us in response to your request. We sincerely appreciate your assistance. Before gaining access to any data, all new users must complete the authentication process. You can view every entry a user makes after they sign up. They are not allowed to take part in the verification because of this requirement.

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Do debit cards come with a payment option? We are really grateful for your comments.

When paying for your lunch, we offer a number of payment methods, such as cash and debit. We accept payment via both of these options. The dispensary accepts cash and debit, so you can select the payment option that works best for you. Any of these methods can be used to make a payment. The greatest dispensary in California is one that accepts cash payments instead of debit cards. If you pay $3.50 using a debit card at an ATM, the amount will be rounded up to the nearest $5.00. To ensure that I don't forget anything, someone advised me to take notes. Thank you for coming to see me today. We truly appreciate your assistance with this. The content was reviewed for usefulness and clarity before being sent to you. We are currently unable to accept payments from clients.

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Could you elaborate on the goods that are offered for sale at your dispensary? Please don't hesitate to ask further questions if you need any other information. If you are aware of this, do let me know; it would be very appreciated. If you could be so kind, I would be so appreciative. Finding your partner was the most magical thing that could have happened.

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If you would like a refund for any reason and are not satisfied with your purchase, kindly notify us within seven days after delivery. You are entitled to a refund if the product you purchased turns out to be defective. In the event that you lose something, don't be afraid to get a replacement. Please visit our store or send us an email at info@flamecanna.com if you are not satisfied with your purchase. We are delighted to be of assistance to you. If you have any questions or require any more information, don't be afraid to contact us at any moment. Do not hesitate to get in touch with me if there is anything I can do to help.

It appears that possessing cannabis is prohibited by law.

Any decision made by a federal court has no bearing on the chemical's lawful status in California. Just so you know, we are not advocating for California to legalize cannabis as we are. In general, it is not a good idea to transport cannabis products across state lines. This is just one of several problems with this strategy. Taking stock of what you've learnt thus far may help you make sense of the situation.

It appears that I have misplaced the paperwork allowing me to buy medical marijuana from your facility. Can I complete this task?

You must have a current government-issued identification card and be at least 21 years old in order to make a transaction.

[sinkat-arts]

Semi-professional data-science-y thoughts from a UX designer re: 10% kudos to hits ratio ahead.

tl;dr: As everyone has already said, it's Not Great. Just read the tags and summary to decide if you want to read something.

tl;dr2: ... and I took that personally.

Alright, no one asked for this, but the post of someone saying they only read fics that have 1 kudos per 10 hits is floating around twitter. Since it's part of my job to pay close attention to analytics to evaluate the success of my designs and user flows, I figured I'd just... info dump. It's aggravating that at least one person is out here using a terrible metric based on a misleading piece of data to ignore whole swaths of amazing stories.

"Hits" is raw data, and that's pretty useless! In the case of AO3, it shows any entity accessing the fic, once per 24 hour period (so if you hit a fic 4 times in one day, it'll only count the first time as a "hit". It will restart your count the next day.). It does not weed out junk/irrelevant data. This includes: - People who keep the tab open for weeks at a time so it refreshes when the tab is focused. - People who visit often to reread. - People coming back every time a new chapter is released. - Authors visiting often to reread / edit. - People who were never going to read because they weren't the target audience based on the tags / summary. - Web crawlers. Bots. Etc, etc, and on and on. What you want are good faith hits from your target audience.

You can only leave kudos ONCE, regardless of how many times you visit.

Which means that a better measurement to get accurate conversation would take into consideration only UNIQUE visitors who spent a significant amount of time on the page, indicating that they read at least enough of the fic to indicate that they are actually part of the target demo. THAT'S the number you compare to the number of kudos received. (Note that this is still a bit of a gray area since someone can open the story and just leave it open without reading. Short of looking over someone's shoulder, this is the best you can do... unless AO3 adds heatmaps to our stats page, which I don't see happening any time soon, haaa.)

EVEN IF the data itself were good, a 10% conversion rate is astronomical as a KPI (key performance indicator, a measure of success). So we're clear, a "conversion" is an instance of a person seeing the thing (your fic) and doing what you want them to do (leaving a kudo). Not that you can really compare fic satisfaction to an ecommerce funnel, but your average conversion rate on, say, a marketing splash page is LESS THAN 3%. If you hit 5% on your campaign, you're having a pizza party in the office, guys. And marketing campaigns can be incredibly sophisticated affairs, fueled by massive research efforts, seo work, algorithms based on user behavior and all kinds of creepy ass data collection, etc. Fic promos are... you know. We chuck them up on social media and pray people see them.

So not only are hits as shown in AO3 a very poor metric to calculate conversion, a 10% conversion rate as a MINIMUM bar for entry is just ridiculous.

Clearly, I've thought about this a lot. I've gotten stuck watching my "conversion rate" go down as hits increased but the kudos didn't move. I've felt badly - so badly - about my proudest moment (where writing is concerned), go nowhere after I finished it. Thinking about it in terms of realistic conversion rates helps me, so I'm mostly sharing this information for anyone else out there it may help.

Super cool that that person is happy with their method of finding fics to read. They're depriving themselves of some really awesome stories, though. A far better way to decide whether or not to read something is to use the search function and filters to narrow things down and then simply read tags and summaries.

And if you start reading and don't like the style... nothing is keeping you there. You can bounce (which, hey, a bounce rate is another metric that would be far more handy than a raw hit counter).

Anyway... behold, my absolute failure of a fic (which resulted in wonderful comments that have made me cry because folks were moved or took the time to leave interesting related information or drew things for me or still periodically send me really cute bears).

[kristenbrady]

Increase Your Opportunities In Today’s Job Market By Completing a FREE Google Certification

I researched six free Google certifications that lead to an insanely high-paying job that you can take right now! Yes, that’s right! Google, one of the most powerful companies in the world, made these certifications available for anybody to be able to take them and the reason for that is these certifications cover skills and jobs that Google and other big tech companies have a ton of trouble filling.

I’m going to be going over the best ones in this post and I’m going to be talking about really important things that you need to know about each one of them. If you appreciate me doing these types of articles let me know by signing up here to catch every story when I publish.

Google Cyber Security Professional Certificate

Cyber security is one of those jobs where there is a massive amount of demand. I mean think about it. How many times have you heard about companies that got hacked? Sometimes their money is stolen, or even worse, their data gets stolen. Data is more valuable than oil or gold, and that’s why hackers try to get at it.

So there’s a massive amount of demand for this skill set. There’s not enough people who actually have the skills and that’s where this certificate comes in. It says that it’ll take about 6 months to finish it at 7 hours a week of work; however, almost all of the reports online show that it’s much quicker than this. Even if you’re just doing it part-time you can finish it in about one to 3 months.

They basically take you through a process and you go through different modules where you learn about the important aspects of cyber security and then you’re going to go ahead and build a portfolio using the modules. This portfolio is key in the technology industry, because a lot of jobs in tech, you don’t need a college degree, you don’t need previous experience, but you do have to have the skills, and the only way to prove you have the skills if you don’t have a college degree or previous experience, is to build a portfolio.

Just to name a few jobs that you might go into after you take this certificate is Junior Security Analysts that make $51,000 to $81,000 a year and Security Operations Center Operators that make $45,000 to $72,000 a year.

Some mid-level roles you might go into would be a Cyber Security Analyst that makes about $84,000 to $132,000 a year or a Cyber Security Incident Responder which makes around $67,000 to $117,000 a year.

Then in a senior level role you might make your way down the line, would be a Director of Cyber Security, making $217 to $369,000 a year. So these are some insanely high paying jobs, even at the entry level it’s still really good and there’s lots of room for growth once you get some experience and build your skill set, There’s lots of different companies that hire for these types of roles:

Attentive.com

Seamless.AI

TuCows.com

Google UX Design Professional Certificate

UX stands for user experience and this is where you would essentially design the interface that someone would see if they use a website or a software. This can actually make a massive difference in the success of a product. I mean think about it like this– have you ever used a piece of software where it was just incredibly difficult to use, you couldn’t find anything, you always had to call tech support, and it was just a huge pain.

You probably didn’t use that product for long; then on the other hand, there’s products out there that just seem so intuitive and they’re just so easy to use and you almost never have to call tech support– those are the types of products that people stick to and they continue using for years. Same thing with websites. If you’re trying to get somebody to buy a product some websites are just really nice to look at.

Don’t Waste Money on College. Do This Instead.

Colleges don’t keep up with the times. Try these Google Certificates instead.

medium.com

It’s also easy to find everything, and when you’re on the website you just feel like you’re having a good experience. Chances are with those good products and good websites they hired some really good UX Designers and that’s what you can learn how to do with this certificate. This one says it takes about 6 months to finish with about 10 hours of work per week… again. almost all of the reviews and self-reported data shows that it’s much quicker than that.

Probably something more like 1 to 3 months. Some of the career paths you might go into are going to be UX Design Intern and they make about $55 to $93,000 a year, and Digital Design Interns make about $46 to $78,000 a year. Some mid-level roles would be UI/UX Designers that make about $70 to $120,000 a year.

Then a senior level role would be a Lead UX Designer and they make about $70 to $175,000 a year. These are extremely high-paying jobs, especially considering that UX Design is actually just being an artist, right? There’s not that many high-paying artist-related jobs out there, so there’s lots of people that have had success with this certificate.

There’s many people who have left reviews and testimonials online, you can check Reddit or the YouTube comment sections of videos about these things, just to see comment after comment of people who have been able to get a job or have just had a good experience taking them,

Google Digital Marketing and e-Commerce Professional Certificate

This is another one that you can actually take for free. This one takes about 6 months with 10 hours a week of work, but again, self-reported data shows it’s much quicker than that, between 1 to 3 months. I think everybody knows what digital marketing is… basically, it’s marketing that happens online.

An example of digital marketing would be the ads that pop up in YouTube videos, another example would be the ads that pop up on Google. Yet another example would be websites and creating SEO optimized content. Another example would be creating content online. It’s called content marketing.

Some roles that you could go into would be a Social Media Coordinator that makes about $40 to $58,000 a year. Another one would be an e-Commerce Customer Service Representative that makes about $35 to $50,000 a year. Some mid-level roles would be a Digital Marketing Specialist that makes about $51 to $79,000 a year and an e-Commerce Marketing Manager that makes about $77 to $118,000 a year or an SEO Analyst that makes about $57 to $97,000 a year.

Then a senior level role would be a Director of e-Commerce, and they make about $137 to $246,000 a year. Here are some opportunities for jobs like this:

Aquent

Remote.com

Google Data Analytics Professional Certificate

This is actually one of my three favorite Google certificates and I actually saved the best three for last because I’m going to talk about my three favorites, but the first one is going to be Data Analytics. So this one again says it takes about 6 months at 10 hours a week, but self-reported data shows 1 to 3 months.

Sometimes people are even able to finish it faster than that. Data in general is just super valuable, anything that involves data, there’s lots of jobs out there for it. But you do have to have the skills, right? You’re not just going to get a job walking off the street, you have to have the skills and prove that you have the skills and the way to do that is to study online and then create a portfolio.

That’s exactly what this certificate training does for you. Some of the entry-level jobs you can get into are going to be Data Entry Analysts that make about $36 to $52,000 a year. Another one is a Data Support Analyst that makes about $35 to $53,000 a year. Some of the mid-level jobs are Data Analyst that make $66 to $103,000 a year.

Then there’s Business Intelligence Analysts that make about $80 to $115,000 a year. A more senior level role would be a Lead Data Analyst that makes up to $170,000 a year. Here are some companies that often hire for data-related roles:

Trip Advisor

Walmart

Google IT Support Professional Certificate

This was actually the one that started it all; this is the first one that came out when Google sort of partnered with Coursera and it was massively popular. Millions and millions of people have taken it and it has some amazing reviews. This is another one that says 6 months at 10 hours a week.

This one I’ve heard people getting it done in like 7 to 10 days. Some of the entry-level roles you can get into would be Help Desk Technician that makes up to $57,000 a year and Desktop Support Reps that make about $47 to $68,000 a year. Some mid-level positions would be IT Support Analysts that make about $53 to $82,000 a year and Systems Administrators that make about $80 to $120,000 a year. A senior level position would be the IT Director of Operations that makes about $175 to $278,000 a year. Here are some companies that often hire for these types of positions:

10UP

Runway

Google Project Management Professional Certificate

Again, this is one of my top three favorites. Project management is all about the planning, execution, and risk management of a project. This is where a company has some kind of new initiative, maybe a new project, or new product that they’re launching and they will put you in charge of that project.

It’s kind of like being a mini entrepreneur with training wheels because you’re going to need to know a little bit about marketing and sales and the product itself. You’re also going to need to be pretty good at leadership. You’re wearing a lot of different hats here, and depending on your personality, that might be a good thing, because you like a challenge, or it might be a bad thing because you don’t want to get stressed out.

But if it’s a good thing, this is an amazing certificate training program to take! They say it takes 6 months at 10 hours a week, but realistically, most people can get this done in 1 to 3 months. I will say with this one I am a big fan of it. Some entry level jobs you might be able to land would be Project Coordinator that make $44 to $62,000 a year and Project Manager Trainee that makes $53 to $84,000 a year.

Some mid-level positions would be Project Manager that makes $77 to $129,000 a year, Program Managers that make $83 to $140,000 a year, and Project Management Consultants that make up to $164,000 a year. A senior level role would be Head of PMO that makes about $161 to $248,000 a year.

In addition to these wonderful opportunities with Google Certifications, you can also try this really cool website called Coursera. According to their site, whether you want to start a brand-new career or advance in your existing field, Coursera Plus provides a broad array of programs in high-growth industries like data analytics, cybersecurity, and many more. So, try one of these certificates out today, and advance your career!

🍉Sign up here to catch every story when Kristen publishes.

Originally posted on Medium

[pannimanagementteam]

Sage X3 Accounting And Erp

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Implementation was quite lengthy and will have been handled better. There are a extensive range of settings to assist make Sage function the way we need it to. If calling in for help, more usually than not there isn't any wait and everyone seems fairly educated. Customer Support leaves lots to be desired, but we are forced to use product tour sage x3 it for the excessive price we pay in upkeep. Sage's dedication to be difficult to work with and unrelenting nickel and dime companies is the explanation we have not recommended this product to others in are space or industry. The method stock counts are performed with the RF scanner are done, at current it has modified the way we do stock.

More than a dozen ecosystem companions exhibited at the event, together with Canadian firms QBuild, Prophix, and True Sky. For these uncertain of where X3 fits into the grand scheme of things at Sage, the company’s president Blair Crump explained that it usually serves organizations with 200 – 2,000 staff that have complex needs. For companies like that, it supplies a lot of worth; he cited a 2016 Forrester Total Economic Impact research stating that the return on funding for X3 prospects is 177 per cent, with payback in simply over five months. Since I grew up with know-how all of the capabilities and placements, for probably the most part, do make sense to me and it is straightforward to make use of. The structure of the software is sweet and permits for good navigation. I don't just like the limited capabilities of the canned reports and queries provided with X3.

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Click the Return line motion to view buyer returns for the product to the location. Click the Invoice line action to view sales invoices for the product on the website. Click the Order line motion to view gross sales orders for the product at the website.

To determine the AQL, please see the documentation including the calculation tables. The fields in the Sampling block aren't obtainable for entry if you choose the value None. Defining a UBD provides the client receiving the lot with the guarantee that the use-by date of their goods is more or less distant from the expiration date. The worth sage x3 onboarding tours of the conversion issue must be between 0.1 and 1. The new management date can not prolonged beyond the limit date of lot use. Sage X3 supplies your entire team with the knowledge they need to make faster and more strategic choices.

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[sparkymediaseminar]

Net Neutrality and Advertisement Hell

Before I started this course, I'll admit that I had no idea what net neutrality even was in the first place. I feel ashamed in having been so ignorant, because the very lack of net neutrality in our current digital landscape is one of the many obvious symptoms of a digital, corporate dominated hell [aside from the presence of advertisements, which I will discuss as well].

From what I've learned, net neutrality is really just the policy which ensures that Internet Service Providers will grant equal internet speed to all sites, content, and applications with not exception. Essentially, that means that ISPs can't give give special privileges to some sites while neglecting others.

Or at least, that's what it should be doing. The problem is, net neutrality has been a very contentious topic for many years. Some people argue that it helps prevent online monopolies and is essential for a free, accessible internet, while others argue that it stifles innovation and discourages investments in new infrastructure.

Eventually, it was decided by the Trump administration in 2017 that net neutrality would be repealed in the US, and it's stayed that way ever since. Given the former president's policies and billionaire background, it's should be obvious why he'd repeal net neutrality in the first place -- to line the pockets of him and his scummy rich buddies. Granted, this decision has not been popular with Americans. In fact, this Huffington Post article from 2018 details the backlash against the repeal, revealing that a whopping 83 percent of Americans disapproved of it.

But what kind of impact would a lack of net neutrality have on the country's online access? What kind of people would be affected? When ISPs are allowed to gatekeep something as basic as internet speed with a paywall, it should be no surprise that the first people to suffer would be the poor. If you don't have to cash to pay for that premium plan, you're screwed. This can very much be said for people living in indigenous reservations, who are especially poor compared to other people in the US. Once again, the Huffington Post covers this issue, exploring how the lack of net neutrality disadvantages Native Americans who use the internet to make a living [such as those who sell art online], as the lack of quality internet access in most areas restricts them severely.

Let's take a break from net neutrality for a moment and instead turn our attention to online advertising. Why do these things need to be so intrusive? Do they really need to sift through so much of our data just to sell us their stuff? For reference, this really good video from CrashCourse offers a good breakdown of how online advertisers do what they do.

The strangest part about advertisers would have to be how complacent we are with them. Most of us already know how much information is accessible to companies and how much control they have over us, but we kinda just accept it. Granted, there are alternative browsers and other programs [like Firefox and uBlock Origin] that promise privacy, but most people don't bother with them and just side with Google Chrome. Oh well, I guess it's not the worst thing in the world.

Really, I just want to finish writing this thing so I can move on to the next.

Sources: “Net Neutrality Supporters Launch New Campaign To Reverse Unpopular FCC Decision” URL: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/net-neutrality-fight-for-the-future_us_5a4d0428e4b0b0e5a7aa4496?utm_hp_ref=net-neutrality “What The End Of Net Neutrality Means For Native Communities” URL: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-the-end-of-net-neutrality-means-for-native-communities_us_5a343379e4b02bd1c8c60693?utm_hp_ref=net-neutrality

[iokheaira]

As a pro translator to and from Finnish (a fairly small, non-Indo-European language) who occasionally deals with AI, or machine translation, let me expand a bit: first, some things aren't worth the cost of money and time of being translated by a human person, even a rank n00b, so before they didn't get translated at all.

Second, the "new jobs" are often proofreading machine translation, commonly called post-editing. This ranges from genuinely helping translators deal with masses of text and making reasonable money, to causing a giant headache for shit pay.

IMO translation really shows the strengths and failure points of large language models (LLM) commonly known as "AI"; to wit, they're really, really good at predicting the most likely outcome based on known data, with occasional randomness that sometimes produces a genuinely great solution, and they're absolute crap at maintaining a consistent terminology and cohesion within a text, they can't know specialised terminology if it hasn't been scraped, and they just cannot deal with cross-references to other documents (because they often treat them as text strings, so instead of copying the translated name of an EU Directive or its common abbreviated name, available online in all of the languages of the Member States, the machine makes up a new translation which may or may not lead the reader to the correct document...)

The worst part is when the machine is good enough to sound confident but keeps generating errors in meaning or references or consistency, because then you need to read things through more carefully than when proofreading the work of a competent human, so that in the absolute worst case you spend as much time checking as you would've spent on translating from scratch - for half the pay. In the absolute best case? You can do a quick read-through, make a few corrections and you're done.

Note that specially-built translation engines can be made to work with glossaries and specific references, but 1. those only make sense for things that already generate massive amounts of text, like the EU, and 2. they're harder to retrofit to generic translators like DeepL at least without specialised translation software, which is another beast entirely.

Also... the gig economy has been present in the translation industry since at least the 2000s, or from what I've heard, maybe 1990s; most of it is outsourcing. You either learn to be a business or don't make a living wage. Entry level has always been full of random people who get a decent grade in high school or study literature in university and think: how hard can it be? And then end up reinventing the wheel. (I did an MA in translation studies and have found it useful, though I already started working after the BA like many others.)

Uhhhh... where was I?

Right! Go ahead and use Google Translate or DeepL to understand what a foreign website etc. is talking about, or turn on the automatically generated and machine translated subtitles on YouTube. No human would be paid to translate those anyway, so why not use the service? Just keep in mind that they are based on probability calculations, and nobody has checked that the text makes sense and uses accurate specialist terminology, or tried their best to make it understandable to you (because ultimately, the translator's job is communication).

Eta: though the impact of AI on the next generation of translation students will be interesting. Any teacher worth their salt will hammer the need for a sanity check through their skulls, but will the political climate mean that funding for translation studies will dry up because "we have AI for that"? And what about the random people who enter the field with zero clue because it sounds easy, if they've grown up blindly trusting that ChatGPT doesn't lie? Now that will be interesting.

Eta2: important to note, I'm a technical translator, not a translator of literature, and also opinions on machine translation vary wildly in the field! Personally I think some texts are more suitable for machine translation than others, and it's not always the ones you'd expect that are a problem. Well, anyone would probably excpect poems being an issue - and translating those is more co-creation than anything anyway.

Alt text is so incredibly useful when it comes to speakers of other languages. I follow a bunch of fiber artists from different parts of the world, Ukrainian fashion designers and Chinese antique garment collectors and Iranian university professors of textile art history. There are discussions happening in different languages, and resources like books and scholarship, simply not available in the English or French I know.

And a lot of them never even use the Latin alphabet a lot of the time! So sometimes I can photograph a book page or screencap an Instagram story and get my phone's OCR to give me text to paste into Google Translate, and I can sometimes use a Cyrillic keyboard to type out what I'm seeing, but but as soon as something is antiquated or handwritten or viewed at an angle, my goose is cooked. I can't even get the original phrase to try to translate at all.

Unless there's alt text. Because alt text gives me exactly the data I need in the exact right format to take to a dictionary and get the gist of what's going on.

It makes me reconsider how my own content is accessible or inaccessible not just to blind or visually-impaired people, but people who aren't perfectly fluent in English. Because I and a lot of my friends are native English speakers who usually only speak 1-2 languages total, I'm prey to assuming that everyone in my intended audience is like us. That of course everybody can easily process English text, whether it's printed or written in cursive or using some antique calligraphic hand. And of course, that's not true. Now when I look at my analytics for my business's rare medieval name, I occasionally see translation site traffic where people in Farsi or Ukrainian or Chinese have translated me in return.

The curb-cut effect is a wonderful thing, I think. The primary reason I've used alt text is a good one, and it also turns out that it's really useful for a lot of other people too.

[hakesbros]

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[paidant]

Hire a remote python developer for your business in 2023

Introduction

Finding the right remote python developer can be a challenge, but it's important to do your research. Here are some tips for finding the right developer for your project:

Look for a developer with experience

When you look for a remote python developer, look for someone with experience. You should be able to find out what kind of projects the developer has worked on and if they have a portfolio that shows those projects. The more experience the better.

As an employer, you want to hire a developer who has worked on many different kinds of projects and can adapt their skills accordingly to fit your needs. A good way to do this is just by Googling them and looking at their LinkedIn profile or website in order to see what they have been up until now working on.

Determine if you're looking for someone to work on a full-time or part-time basis

Deciding whether you need a full-time or part-time employee can be tricky. Full-time employees are generally more reliable and tend to have more experience than part-timers, but they also come with higher costs and an increased risk of overworking themselves. If you have an idea of what kind of work you want your developer to do (e.g., web app development or e-commerce) then it's easier to decide if it's worth paying for someone full-time or not.

For example, if your new hire will be responsible for creating software that automates a mundane task like data entry, then there isn't much room for growth in this role—so hiring them as a part-time employee would probably be ideal as long as they're willing!

You'll also want to consider whether there's enough work available on the side so that they won't feel bored when there aren't any new projects coming up at their agency - because if they get bored they might leave before working through all those hours owed by clients."

You need to define clear goals.

You need to define clear goals for your project. A good way to do this is by creating a list of specific deliverables and putting them in order of priority:

What do you want?

Why does it matter?

How will your users interact with it?

What exactly does success look like for this project, and when is that moment supposed to arrive?

Finding a remote worker through agencies

A great way to find remote workers is through agencies. The best part is that these agencies can help you find the right candidates for your project, as well as take over the hiring process and onboarding so that you don't have to worry about it.

As with any service, there are pros and cons of using an agency. The benefits of using an agency include:

They're familiar with the market and can help you find qualified candidates based on your requirements

They can assist with the hiring process, making sure all paperwork and approvals are made before bringing on a new employee

They can provide support throughout onboarding, which makes getting started easier

Plan ahead and you'll find the best remote python developers for your project.

If you're looking for a remote python developer, planning ahead is key. The best candidates—and the most cost-effective ones—are likely to be working on projects at the moment. In fact, they may already have several clients and not have time in their schedule for a new project. If you want to ensure that you get your project off on the right foot by hiring a great developer who's available right away, it's important that your hiring process takes place well before the end of their current contract.

If possible, try to schedule interviews with potential new hires about two weeks before their current employment ends in order to give yourself enough time for any negotiations or contracts necessary before starting work on your project.

Conclusion

If you're looking to hire a remote python developer, this article should give you a good idea of what to look for. The most important thing is to have clear goals and define them before hiring anyone. It'll help your remote workers understand their role in the project and give them something concrete to work on. Next, look for someone who has experience working remotely since this will make it easier for them to communicate effectively with others on your team. 

[weaselle]

here’s the real shit:

If you need it to live, it shouldn’t cost you money.

Fancy food? absolutely, get you a job, eat whatever kind of food makes you feel like royalty. Basic sustenance sufficient to be completely healthy? Should be free if you need it. Fancy house? hell yeah, get you a big money job and live in a mansion. Basic housing? Should be free if you need it. Fashionable clothing? Better find an income so you can buy that Gucci. A pair of overalls, shoes, and a jacket so you are covered and warm? Should be free if you need it. Super fancy education? pay up. Good education through college and continued access to information? Should be free to all.

And medical needs? Forget it, listen, if we have the ability to heal someone but we don’t do it, then I know we’re doing the devil’s work, and I’m not even religious.

I know people are gonna have problems so let me get an inb4

First of all, most people won’t just take these basics and then sit on their ass and do nothing, humans are gonna do shit - have you seen what people do in their free time already? Whole huge industries like youtube and hobby stores and shit are based on how much people want to do stuff – you literally cannot sit people in a room with a button labeled “will give you electric shocks” and nothing else to do without them pressing the button (there was an actual study done)

Secondly, most people are generally either not satisfied with the basics, or are only okay with the basics because it allows them to pursue some other worthy goal like school or art or caring for a family member full time or something. So i guarantee most people will still be seeking employment, only jobs will have to pay what people actually feel they are worth instead of paying what desperate people will agree to work for.

All studies of Universal Basic Income experiments and similar have indicated these things are true.

And last, if your undies are still in a bunch over people needing to contribute to “deserve” stuff like food and housing, let me say two things

A: in our earliest groups, humans provably cared for individuals who were not capable of hunting or gathering. Perhaps those individuals contributed in other ways. Perhaps they were loved and their company and presence was considered contribution enough. Or perhaps humanity was such that we just plain wouldn’t let another human in our group starve when we could share our food instead. Whatever the case, we gave up that kind of group to live in this kind of group, and if we can’t maintain that same level of humanity and kindness, then it is a worse group and we should fix it or go back to the other sort.

B: in general, i agree that people should contribute to gain access to things. I think most people WANT to contribute, it seems to me to be hardwired into us as social animals. Personally, i think the artist making do with basic accommodations, eating simple mass foods and wearing government issued clothing so they can spend their time creating music, writing books, practicing dancing or painting or idk, making “how to solve: my computer doesn’t recognize my phone for importing pictures” videos for free on youtube, you know, i think they ARE contributing (shout out to the unsung How To Video heroes, my gods, where would we be without them)

But if you want to talk about really contributing in a targeted societal needs kind of way, then i’m all for that too! So lets talk about some kind of system where, for example, everyone who is physically or mentally able spends 3 years between high-school and college in a National Projects Corps, like the army, but instead they travel to places in our country and are trained and put to work replacing roads, or becoming basic staff in hospitals, or building schools, or doing maintenance on bridges, or doing data entry for public health labs, or, idk, fixing the fucked up water in Flint. Three years seeing other parts of the country, meeting people from other walks of life, and learning valuable skills.

Best of all, a system like this has organic balances. You get a population boom? Well, you’re going to need a lot more public housing, and guess what? you also have enough hands to help build it, because of the population boom. Then, if you’re the kind of person who has a hardline belief about contributing to society, when you see somebody in government-issued overalls living a public apartment complex, you can rest easy knowing they probably fixed roads or built bridges or worked on the sewers or something, just like you.

And by the way, this would ACTUALLY create more of that free market effect people say should fix things. Like, if I have easy free access to food no matter what, i can then choose to only buy sustainably sourced food or whatever.

Anyway, there’s different ways to do it, but basically, if you need something to live a healthy life, a lack of money should never mean you go without it. If you need it to live a healthy life, you should get it. Everything else can cost money, there can still be expensive food and fancy houses, that’s fine, but the basics should be available to all. For free. Because we’re human and in a group together.

[puddleorganism]

Ok, just to be clear I am NOT trying to start a fight with prev - you just activated my trap card (spec bio obsession). So I wanna ramble about this idea, because I hadn’t even considered that before!

I think that’s a very good point if you imagine them living in the present day environment of Subnautica. Like, yeah, the gargantuan leviathan is leagues and bounds larger than literally anything else. If they were trying to eat something they couldn’t come at it straight on or they’d lose sight of it and potentially miss (though, granted you’d be pretty hard-pressed to get out of the way of that thing in time lol).

However, there’s no way in hell the gargantuan leviathan could live in the environment you play in in Subnautica - and in the main game, it doesn’t! The skeleton is 3 million years old. There’s every chance the environment was wildly different back then!

So, if we assume that, at one point, it was actually advantageous to be a predator as big as the Garg, the first thing that would change is the availability of extraordinarily large prey. In which case, eyes on the side of the head would actually be useful! In the ocean predator, prey, and competitor can come from any direction, so it really pays to have a wide field of view, even if you sacrifice depth perception.

The other thing I’ve been thinking about (that’s pretty much entirely unrelated) is: what if the data bank entry was wrong about the “predator” part? The Garg could totally have filter-feeding organs that weren’t preserved during fossilization. Such a lifestyle would also explain why it’s so freakin big in the apparent absence of appropriately sized prey items. Now, that might make you say, “Meta, that’s cool, but what about, you know, the teeth that are over 10 meters long?” Which is fair. But I think they could’ve been used to fight competitors rather than capture prey! Such a big creature would need a huge amount to sustain it, and as such would probably have a very large territory. It makes sense to me that they would fight over feeding rights - even (and maybe especially) as predators.

Back to the main point, being a filter feeder would also mean eyes on the side of the head wouldn’t be detrimental. The same principle (predators and competitors coming from any direction) applies, but with the added bonus that they don’t hunt so sacrificing depth perception isn’t really a sacrifice at all.

In the end the filter feeder thing is not my end-all-be-all theory, though. It’s a fun one to think about, but ultimately I don’t think it’s any more likely than there just being bigger leviathans back then.

I have such conflicting feelings about the gargantuan leviathan (Subnautica)

One the one hand, that thing is ridiculous. A prime example of coolness trumping realism (especially the mod that adds living ones to the game).

On the other hand, god it is so fucking cool though. Also the model in that mod is gorgeous and the sound design is sick as hell, personal preferences aside.

On a third, secret hand, I really really really wanna figure out what kind of environment would make that thing evolutionarily advantageous, it would be fascinating.