#because the more you play in a single map the more insane you become especially if it's a tiny one

[elbiotipo]

What I still can't believe is that League of Legends has a single tiny map they played all the time. It's always the same fucking boring map all the time game after game. No wonder people who play it were like that.

[melded-galaxy]

Ultimis Richtofen: Throughout the years

Part 3 of 3: The peak of insanity and the fall from power

Tranzit: Takes place on 21st October 2035 in Hanford, Washington, U.S.A. Richtofen took over the MPD in 2025, meaning this is the 10th year since the Earth became an irradiated, lava and zombie-infested wasteland.

I think it's safe to say Richtofen is more off his rocker than ever, having reigned over the zombies and being connected to the Aether for a decade. He's incredibly zany, raunchy and childish, has uncontrollable mood swings, his emotions flipping from absolute rage to joy at a moment's notice. His attitude towards Stuhlinger ranges from trying to be somewhat supportive and friendly to sexually harassing him to savagely insulting and threatening him, depending on the map and how well Samuel is following his instructions.

Over the years, both Richtofen and Maxis found ways to contact the surviving humans, both men vying for the surviving humans' loyalty for their own goals. Battles were fought on behalf of the two scientists between differing groups of survivors.

Richtofen often pitted the remaining members of both the CDC and CIA against each other for his own amusement. Seen in the 8-player BO2 Zombies Grief mode on maps Town, Farm and Borough.

George Barkley, former assistant director of the CDC, reports that Element 115 has seemingly spread across the globe, similar to an air-born virus, with infected survivors listing 'short-term memory loss, psychosis, delusion, and paranoia' as side effects. Tellingly, Richtofen suffers from all of these.

It quickly becomes apparent that Richtofen can only communicate with any human that has eaten zombie flesh. Stuhlinger, a member of Victis, and a previous member of a cult named The Flesh, is the only one in the group that can hear Richtofen. The rest of the team is in contact with Maxis. Despite Stuhlinger's pleas, Victis ultimately sides with Maxis.

Similar to at the end of Moon's easter egg, as Richtofen is in control of the zombies he is once again the demonic announcer.

Richtofen is unamused by Victis and is starting to miss his old teammates, especially Nikolai. 'Gah, you guys are boring!' 'Blah blah blah vodka vodka blah blah. *sighs* I think I'm starting to miss that drunk...' 'You know, I think I'm starting to miss the other three...'

Despite being unimpressed with Victis, Richtofen does enjoy trolling them. 'Oh look, you got the Wunderwaffe DG2... JUST KIDDING!' 'It looks like a Max Ammo but I can't be sure... I can only see EVERYTHING at the same time.' 'You know, I never like how that little brat never told us how anything worked, so the secret to survive is *gibberish* ... AND THAT'S HOW YOU WIN!'

Tells Stuhlinger that he wants to heal the Earth, though also admits only so he can use the survivors as playthings. Also mentions to Stu that Maxis will kill all surviving humans... he's right. 'Soon, this beautiful planet will be healed once more and the flesh will cover the Earth!' 'You will be the heroes that saved all the Earth... for ME TO PLAY WITH!' 'Maxis WILL KILL YOU ALL!' 'We must hurry because Maxis is a busy little beaver unt the dam he builds will kill you all! Trust me!'

The doc enjoys calling Stuhlinger nicknames. 'Sammy! Sammy boy! Are you ignoring me?' 'The clock is ticking my little pink sausage... you better move those porky little legs!'

The tactic of leaving a single crawler at the end of the round to take a break, Pack a Punch or complete Easter Egg steps seems to be a canon method Richtofen and the rest of Ultimis used throughout their journey to Moon. 'Ah. Trying to take a break I see.' 'Now which one of you is going to take care of that little bastard while everyone else runs around?'

He is acquainted with Nacht Der Untoten's main building and quotes that it looks familiar.

Die Rise: Interestingly enough, the events of Die Rise take place only a day after Tranzit, on the 22nd of October, 2035 in Shanghai, China.

The opening cutscene shows us that a demonic-sounding voice is ordering Samuel around and instructing him to 'mend the rift'. When Stuhlinger argues back, the voice reveals that it knows of Samuel's past acts of cannibalism when he was still a member of The Flesh and threatens to tell the others.

I'm not sure if this demonic voice is supposed to be Richtofen, or an Apothicon speaking to Stuhlinger, as we do hear the doc later on in the cutscene when he's telling Victis to 'Accept their fate. Begin anew.'

The cutscene also reveals that Richtofen teleported them from Washington to Shanghai and that when Victis dies, Richtofen has the power to rewind time, bringing them back to life and effectively giving them another chance to aid him against Maxis. Victis have no memory of their former deaths, only a sense of deja vu.

Strangely enough, Richtofen does this despite Victis siding with Maxis before in Tranzit and for some reason either chooses not to or can't rewind time after Victis previously chose to aid Maxis.

Once again, Victis ultimately sides with Maxis.

Unfortunately, one part of the Easter Egg involves getting balls wet with the Sliquifier. This proves too much for Richtofen, who becomes even hornier than usual and more sexually-frustrated than ever. This is made doubly uncomfortable by the fact that he is still currently in the body of a little girl. Oh, and he calls Stuhlinger a whore (...projection). "Look to the dragon. The energy flows! Oh, how it flows on my face." "JAA! MAKE THOSE BALLS WET, YOU WHORE!" "More! Keep going...(whispering) ugh you cannot have dry balls, dry balls ugh not good." "Ahhh, that was good. Maxis will no longer be able to get his filthy hands on those balls, those all-so-wet balls."

Buried: Takes place on 31st of December, 2035 in Angola, Africa. The opening cinematic shows Victis travelling on foot, so Richtofen most likely didn't teleport them to the location.

It's implied in the opening dialogue Richtofen and Stuhlinger engage in that the doctor hasn't been in contact with Stu as frequently, most likely because of Victis siding with Maxis on Tranzit and again on Die Rise. It's possible Richtofen was trying to contact other survivors to do his bidding in Victis' place. Nevertheless, Richtofen ultimately tries once more to get Samuel to convince the rest of Victis to do as he says, with no success.

Victis for the final time sides with Maxis, setting up the last polarisation tower to open the ‘rift’ for Maxis. This results in Maxis harnessing the power of the Aether and taking control of the zombies. Maxis kicks Richtofen out of Samantha's body and into the body of a zombie as a punishment. When the zombie is killed, Richtofen's soul enters another zombie nearby, damning the doctor to die over and over again at the hands of Victis. Maxis, powered by the Aether, sets out to reunite with Samantha, which will unfortunately lead to the destruction of Earth and all its inhabitants. This is the canonical ending.

In the non-canon ending where Victis sides with Richtofen in all the maps, he gains full control over the Aether and zombies and proceeds to erase Maxis from existence. Edward seems disinterested in returning to his own body and now has the power to rejoin the physical world, which he does by taking over Stuhlinger's body... or at least attempts to. Much to the doctor's surprise, Samuel survives Richtofen's body-snatching attempt and the two now must share/fight for control over Stuhlinger's body. Richtofen appears stuck in Stuhlinger's body and admits that he didn't think this through.

Similar to Die Rise, Richtofen is ridiculously horny in this map. 'Aha, you are making an old German very happy... unt stiff.' 'Keep going! I do not want you to stop... not even for breathe... ahaha.' 'You are reaching the climatic moment... oh it feels good ja?'

He's also ridiculously childish, repeatedly yapping about playing games and having fun. 'Curse you Maxis! You and your stupid girl! You are always ruining my fun unt games!' 'Now, throw the pennies into the fountain and we get to play a fun little game ahaha.' 'Now you go from grumbly hateful to hungry grateful ahahaha! I rhymed!' 'Ah, it's really not that different from how things were before, Sammy. We get to talk to each other, play games! It's really quite exciting! You'll like the fact that we're gonna be eating more salad.'

Alludes to 'the cycle', a big part of the zombie storyline we see in B03 and BO4. 'Nein. It cannot be like this forever. There has to be a way to break the cycle.'

He knows the rest of Victis disliked Stuhlinger. 'Now search their cold, dead bodies aha. It shouldn't be too upsetting - I know you weren't close!'

Interestingly, similar to his Primis counterpart, he feels a strong urge to be needed by others/meet their approval. Also like his Primis self, he is disgusted by dirt and mess. 'I just want to feel needed again!' 'Ahh! The bodies are so filthy! So dirty so stinky! Would it kill you to stop eating brains and take a shower!'

Richtofen acts self-pitying and disgusted when stuck in the body of a zombie, and seems to feel its hunger for flesh. 'This is horrible!' 'What have I ever done to deserve this torment?!' 'I'm trapped! I'm rotting! I'm hungry!'

So we've reached the end of Black Ops 2 Zombies Richtofen! This is where I think Richtofen's comedic elements and insanity reached its apex— time for the gradual come down.

Time Zombified/comics: So there was a miniseries of comics by Dark Horse Comics and published by Activision that followed Victis attempting to escape the end of the world caused by Maxis in Buried. In the comics, we see that the Victis crew is being pursued by an intelligent zombie that is uncannily dressed in a Nazi General's uniform. The zombie is, of course, Ultimis Richtofen, who turns out to be working with his Primis counterpart to acquire Victis and help Primis Richtofen attain the Kronorium.

Undead Richtofen retains his intelligence and ability to plan, as well as having a newfound ability to control the movements of other zombies in the nearby vicinity.

Sometime after the comics, Undead Richtofen teleports to Groom Lake, where the rest of Ultimis, who teleported from the Moon after the completion of the Moon Easter Egg, are captured and experimented on by the Americans. Undead Richtofen found his old body, comatose after the events of Buried, and transferred his soul into it. He was subsequently imprisoned with the rest of Ultimis and experimented on and had to be sedated multiple times due to how animated he was.

Honestly, I have no idea how Ultimis Richtofen wasn't straight up murdered by the rest of Ultimis given both his betrayal and the fact they now remember he performed unethical experiments on them back in Siberia. Instead, he's seen just uneasily chilling with them again. They had plenty of opportunites to do so as well, considering they were all held in the same cell and not restrained. Perhaps the attempted brainwashing/mind control Richtofen had previously done to the rest of Ultimis prevented them from outright killing him or maybe Ultimis Richtofen managed to persuade them that he'd be able to break them out. It's also possible that the rest of Ultimis was simply too depressed/traumatized to bother killing Richtofen.

According to a quote from Dempsey in Alpha Omega, Ultimis were captured, tortured and experimented on for a few months.

As shown in Classified's easter egg ending, a post-moon Nikolai, Takeo and Dempsey and a post-buried Richtofen now back in his own body are held captive in a cell in Hanger 4 by the Americans. It's implied that all 4 are suffering from overexposure to element 115 and are unethically experimented on. Abruptly, the Primis crew arrive and free Ultimis from their imprisonment, bringing them to Camp Edward.

Alpha Omega: Ah, Alpha Omega. This marks the last time Ultimis Richtofen, as well as the rest of Ultimis and Primis are playable and the only time both crews are playable on one map. There's plenty of dialogue and interactions in this map to get through, so let's get started.

Richtofen is happy to be reunited with his old team and urges them to 'forgive unt forget' when it comes to the small matter of him betraying and torturing them and dooming the planet. 'Anyway, Dempsey, I think we've got off on the wrong feet. I'm a changed man! I've got absolutely zero intentions of blowing anything... up.' 'Hooray! The gangs all here again! Isn't it so nice to be reunited! Especially after all that nasty business on the moon.'

He's absolutely ecstatic to be back to slaughtering zombies. 'BLEED FOR ME, I LOVE IT!' 'More blood! I can NEVER HAVE ENOUGH!' 'I'm so happy I cry!'

Edward seems to no longer hear the voices/the apothicons and may be slightly saner because of it. He doesn't mention them in Alpha Omega or Tag der Toten.

Once again, Richtofen fails to contain his horniness. 'I swear, I'll put anything down my throat...' 'Mmm, just like gargling ball sweat - oops! I meant boar sweat.' 'You're very precise, Takeo! Almost anally so...'

He did not like the experiments the Americans ran on him while imprisoned in Groom Lake. 'I do so love experiments, especially devious ones... BUT ONLY WHEN I AM THE DOCTOR!'

Richtofen acts more antagonistic towards both Ultimis and Primis Nikolai on this map, probably because Primis Nikolai is leading both groups and both Richtofens are put out by that fact. Despite still claiming to hate Dempsey, he acts slightly less antagonistic to both versions in Alpha Omega. 'I cannot believe I am taking orders from Nikolai Dummkopf Belinski!' 'You are too kind! Especially to Nikolai. He's an idiot.' 'I would applaud, Dempsey, but my handsss are kinda busy.' 'Dempsey, dear Dempsey, I am not quite as self-obsessed as you seem to think. Not everything is about me you know!'

Ultimis Richtofen apparently owns a summer cabin in Bulgaria, that has regular poison gas leaks.

He's aware that he's melodramatic. 'You're being very melodramatic, Takeo. And coming from me that's... that's really saying something.'

Ultimis Richtofen considers his Primis self better looking, but claims he has no sense of humour. He also claims his other self ultimately failed to achieve his goals and that he wets the bed. 'That other Richtofen may be younger unt better looking, but he has no sense of humour!' 'And how did my overly emotional doppelganger do? He failed. He messed everything up. Just like when he wet the bed.'

Edward wears contact lenses. 'Someone come help me find my contact lenses.. and maybe restart my heart.'

Like Ultimis Dempsey often does, Richtofen breaks the fourth wall a few times. 'Did you try shouting for your player friends?!' 'You answered the crawl of duty, wink wink, unt you paid the price!'

Ultimis Nikolai, Dempsey and Takeo along with the Primis crew actively despise Ultimis Richtofen for obvious reasons. 'Aw what happened Richtofen? Nuke go off?' 'Frankly, if he's still standing at the end of this, I'm gonna be pissed.' 'I know my other self can be rather... eccentric. Annoying, even. But we really are quite different!' 'I find that very hard to believe, Richtofen. You are all equally unlikeable and unreliable.' 'One fact remains undeniable: you are an evil that must be stopped.'

He's salty about the fact/somehow knows about that his Primis self shot a version of Ultimis Richtofen in the face, as seen in bo3's the giant opening. 'What did my other self ever do to you? Did he shoot you in the face??' 'Remember it? Of course, I don't remember it! When you're shot in the head, memory loss is one the most common side effects.'

Ultimis Richtofen's much more absent-minded in this map in particular and struggles with memory issues that seem to be getting worse. He has definitely cognitively declined since the days of Shi No Numa. 'this reminds me, I really do need to do laundry.' 'Hello, orb! My name's Edward and I fight the undead. What exactly do you do?' 'Finally! Now I can get back to pursuing my own interests! Hmm...' 'Okay Edward, don't forget you have this... this... what was I talking about?'

Despite his more happy-go-lucky attitude in this map, Richtofen has bouts of suicidal ideation. 'Sometimes I think death would have been a mercy...' 'I'm surprised you didn't just put me out my misery.'

Tag Der Toten: The sanest version of Ultimis Richtofen we see in any map. Takes place on October 13th 2025. This is the final appearance of Ultimis Richtofen and at the end, he's incredibly calm, almost melancholy. His voice is much deeper-pitched than usual, and he sounds almost like his Primis counterpart.

Interestingly enough, it seems to legitimately pain Richtofen to have to lie to and manipulate Stuhlinger again. He's much kinder to Samuel in this map than he was in bo2, and seems fond of him. 'Oh, I'm watching Sammy. Kudos on the headshot.' 'I know, Sammy. I found you mildly amusing too.' 'It's them or you, Sammy and who would I talk to if you were gone?' 'I'm proud of you, Sammy. You are a veritable killing machine today!'

We hear in the campfire quotes in Tag Der Toten, that Ultimis and Primis spent one last night together, sharing stories, drinking together and acting like friends. Around the campfire, Ultimis Richtofen stated honestly that 'he just wanted power, preferably absolute' and that he 'wasn't sorry for anything and had the time of his life'. He was also surprised by his Primis self admitting he once saw Maxis as a father figure and commented he only ever saw Maxis as a bitter rival. Ultimis Richtofen's hatred of Samantha has also seemed to lesson somewhat by Tag Der Toten.

Unbeknown to Ultimis and the rest of Primis, Primis Nikolai secretly poisoned their drinks, killing Ultimis Nikolai, Ultimis Takeo, Ultimis Dempsey, Primis Richtofen, Primis Dempsey and Primis Takeo. Instead of dying, Ultimis Richtofen reverts to his Zombified state and begins instructing Stuhlinger and by extension, the rest of Victis throughout their last journey to build the Agarthan Device.

At the end of the easter egg, Ultimis Richtofen apologises to Samuel just as he and the rest of Victis is banished into the dark aether. Richtofen is then shot in the head by Primis Nikolai, killing him instantly. Primis Nikolai then goes on end the multiverse in the hopes of creating a better timeline, free of corruption and his last act is to have Samantha shoot him.

As Samantha and Eddie, a child version of Richtofen, travel to the new world, we hear the final wishes of Ultimis and Primis. Ultimis Richtofen's final wish is to relax and perhaps open his own morgue.

Bonus Fun Facts/Stuff I Forgot To Mention!

Edward is somewhere in his late 50s to early 60s, by the time Ultimis arrives at Shi No Numa.

Richtofen first joined the Illuminati in 1925 and left the organisation in 1942. When he first joined the Illuminati, Edward would have likely been somewhere in his late 30's to early 40's.

He joined Group 935 in 1936, originally to leak intel back to the Illuminati. He would have likely been around his late 40's to early 50's when he started working with Group 935.

Edward went to boarding school, according to a quote on Alpha Omega.

He references Germany's financial collapse after WW1 in Ascension. 'The inflation is killing me.'

Ultimis Dempsey hates Richtofen, Ultimis Nikolai is neutral towards Richtofen until the latter's betrayal on Moon and Ultimis Takeo liked Richtofen until he started regaining his memories on Ascension. From then on, Takeo only pretends to be friendly towards Richtofen, while secretly scheming behind his back. The 'Takeo is the first to remember' sub-plot from bo1 never really goes anywhere, however, as Richtofen ultimately succeeds in taking over the MPD and betrays the rest of Ultimis anyway on Moon.

Richtofen liked/respected Dr. Groph and Dr. Schuster and acted favourably towards them even after he lost his mind. 'Excellent, Dr. Schuster. Commence test number 151.' 'And you, Dr. Groph, are now the lead scientist here at Griffin Station.' 'Don't worry Dr. Schuster. I had you go with the Americans. It'd be good for your softer side.' However, as he grew more paranoid and his madness took root, it's clear he distanced himself from them, treating them more like pawns and with less respect. 'I'm more than alive, Mr. Schuster. Is the device still intact?' 'Yes, I will dispose of Dr. Maxis and that little brat personally. Do not. Touch. Anything.'

While Richtofen hates Dempsey and looks down on him/enjoys mocking him for his simple nature and lack of intelligence, he may be begrudgingly attracted to the marine, depending on the map/Richtofen's depiction. He has made flirtatious remarks and even grabbed his...yeah, in Call of the Dead. 'Hello Dempsey! Aren't you a sight for my sore eyes.' 'I hate you, Dempsey. I even hate your eyes.' 'Big Dempsey... you're so BIG!' Conversely: 'Oh Dempsey, have you always been this ugly?' 'I hate you, Dempsey. I hate your ugly voice.' 'Dempsey, you annoy me. And you're disgusting. AND I HATE YOUR FACE AND YOUR NECK!'

Richtofen is amused by and has a crush on Nikolai, which seems to fade by the time Alpha Omega takes place. 'Look Nikolai! How romantic!' 'Come on my big strong Russian bear! Arrr!' 'It's so slippery unt wet unt joyful! Just like you, Nikolai!' 'Maybe we should strap explosives to Nikolai's back!' 'I know it must be hard, having your smart, handsome, sober brother showing up... waving his big, fat soul in your face.' 'I wish my Nikolai knew how to shoot straight - or in fact do anything of use.'

Richtofen is either indifferent to or mildly dislikes Takeo. 'Oh, it's a picture of the monkey bomb.' 'Takeo has always been so quiet. For some reason, no matter the pain, he was always so respectful. I hate that.' 'I always liked you, Takeo! Even when I didn't.'

The entire Primis crew hates Ultimis Richtofen, especially his Primis self for obvious reasons.

The Shadowman thinks favourably of Ultimis Richtofen, according to his dialogue in Revelations. 'You do know that Richtofen is a friend of mine? I say friend, but really he's so much more than that. At one point, I almost considered him my apprentice.' 'At one point he did everything I told him to. I keep hoping he'll remember the promise he made to me, so long ago.'

Dr. Monty thinks of Ultimis Richtofen as evil, childish and an idiot. 'Richtofen, crazy Richtofen, evil Richtofen, remember him? Fucking idiot blew up the Earth! It didn't really all go to plan though, did it? He never even had a plan. He ended up trying to enlist the help of some other idiots left in the apocalyptic wasteland.'

Russman, Misty and Marlton dislike/distrust all versions of Richtofen. Stuhlinger likes/looks up to Ultimis Richtofen despite his axe-crazy personality and called him 'the sweetest guy in the whole universe' in Tag Der Toten. Likewise, I believe Richtofen did develop a soft spot for Samuel over time as he's the only person Ultimis Richtofen has ever expressed genuine remorse for. At the end of Tag Der Toten's Easter Egg: 'I know. And I'm so sorry.'

While the voices Richtofen heard after touching the MPD on the moon were never an auditory hallucination brought on by Schizophrenia, they were real entities that we later find out were the Apothicons/Shadowman, he may have also developed schizophrenia later on anyway due to the effects the voices had on his mental state. Some of Richtofen's in-game quotes hint at him hearing and seeing things that clearly aren't there. When interacting with Nikolai's portrait in Kino: 'His eyes are following me...' When getting the monkey bomb: 'Do you hear him talking to you, Nikolai?' When getting the Wunderwaffe DG2: Do you hear it talking to me?' Furthermore, Edward is also aware of the fact he's mentally ill: 'Carefully balanced... much like my mental state!' 'It's not always fun being like this...'

Richtofen's favourite food is potato salad. His favourite drink may be root beer.

Edward may have arthritis, according to a quote in der riese.

Despite claiming to hate monkeys, Richtofen apparently considered adopting one and enjoys spanking them according to a sus quote on Alpha Omega. 'I find monkeys annoying. I spank them every chance I get...' Furthermore, Dempsey implies Richtofen may have done obscene things with the monkey bombs. 'Richtofen, stop trying to hump the stuffed monkey, man! It's creeping me out.' 'If anyone's done anything... borderline with that monkey, it's Richtofen, man.' 'Richtofen, don't get any ideas. I don't think it's legal!'

For some reason, Richtofen owns an MP3 player. Where he got it is never elaborated on. He also somehow might have watched Back To The Future at some point, as he makes a reference to the film in Ascension. '1.21 Gigawatts! Now where have I heard that before?'

Why Richtofen wears a WW2 Nazi General's uniform is never explained in any of the games. It's especially confusing as in the lore, it's clear that Richtofen disliked the Nazi party and especially Group 935's secret affiliation with them, courtesy of Maxis. Out of Universe, Richtofen's model was taken from the WAW campaign; he shares the same model as Amsel. World at War Richtofen was originally meant to be a Nazi Officer/interrogator, which is shown in Richtofen's WAW bio: '"Beware The Doc". A message that was scrawled across walls of every town under Axis control. Starvation may cripple you, dysentery may wreck you, and gunfire may rip the flesh from your bones, but "Beware the Doctor". This is Dr. Richtofen, known affectionately as "The Butcher" to his victims as they scream in agony moments before he snuffs out their light. All through his career, Richtofen has been at the forefront of torture and information extraction research. Richtofen is an incurable sociopath and sees no moral distinction between natural death and murder; the victim is the victim, regardless of how their demise manifests itself.'

However, this was later softly retconned; Richtofen became a scientist of Group 935 only affiliated with the Nazi party through a deal Maxis secretly made, though he was previously a member of the Illuminati of his own volition. Personally, I think Ultimis Richtofen wears the uniform just because he thinks it looks good and gives off an air of authority. It also probably helped him blend in with the other members of Ultimis, as they were all military figures. However, this is all mostly speculation.

Richtofen has shown sexual attraction to both men and, rarely, women - he's most likely Bi or Pansexual with a preference for men. 'Oh, she sounds like a sweet little specimen!' 'Hm, I hope this drink doesn't affect my fertility... oh the thought of little Doctors!'

Richtofen is a serial molester who belongs on the sex offender registry, according to the Call of the Dead Easter Egg and numerous other quotes. 'Ow! Let go! That's not a LEVER. RICHTOFEN!!' 'Just because the lights aren't on doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, Richtofen. *Dempsey slaps Richtofen hard enough for the German to fall over* Now get your finger out of mine!' 'You remind me of a patient, except you make less noise when I stick things in you...' 'that's... that's still not a lever, Richtofen.'

Speaking of Call of the Dead, Edward is also likely to be physically weaker and less durable than his super soldier test subjects. A single slap from Dempsey in cotd was enough to floor him.

Richtofen has cannibalistic tendencies. 'First I will cook them, then I will eat them!' 'I will help you, Dempsey, but only because I want to be the one to eat your heart!'

Richtofen may have necrophilic tendencies. 'Their screams are so... erotic, ja...' 'Oh, could you FEEL it going in?' 'Oh, how I love the sexy undead!' 'Shame, Takeo. His head was his only redeeming feature. Such a pretty mouth...'

Edward is a narcissist and has a god complex. 'I am all powerful!' 'I AM A GOD!' 'You know, I used to be in your shoes... then I became an all powerful, omnipotent being haha!'

Along with being a sadist, Edward is a hardcore masochist, to the point he enjoys having spikes rammed up his backside. 'Oh! Oh, that's... that's good, that's okay, buy me dinner next time.' 'Oh, you have spikes in you now! You like that? The spikes? I do...' 'I would hurt so good if I put my hand in there...'

Richtofen may have also prostituted himself at some point, according to more sussy quotes from shangri-la. 'Ah, t-that's usually an extra fifty!' 'Hey Richtofen, how 'bout some knee time? What, you like that anyway!' 'Ten points a pull, bet Rectalfun would do it for free.'

According to Ultimis Dempsey, Richtofen's got small dick energy. 'This portrait's bigger than everyone else's. Must be tryna compensate for something.' '.5 millimetres of love, just like Richtofen!'

Richtofen takes pride in his appearance and is fashion-conscious. 'Not the prettiest thing I've ever worn but it will do.' 'Ugh, these stains will never come out of my uniform!' 'The steel is so clean I can almost see my reflection - Oh you handsome devil...' 'Oh, I may need this but I do hate to mess up my hair.'

Richtofen has an unhealthy obsession with spleens, a trait he shares with Samantha. Perhaps due to Apothicon influence? Maybe Samantha and Richtofen inherited their love for spleens after getting corrupted.

Speaking of Samantha, Richtofen enjoyed being in her body, and called his child self a 'little girl' on Moon. Make of that as you will.

Given that 10 years passed from the events of Moon to Tranzit and then presumably a few months to a year from Tranzit to the end of the Call of duty zombies' comics, at a rough estimate, Ultimis Richtofen would have been in his late 60's to early 70's at the time of his death in Tag Der Toten.

As a last note, I want to highlight the absolute mental decline and personality change that Ultimis Richtofen went through, from all the way back in 1939 before he was corrupted by the apothicons/shadowman to the end of Buried where we see him at his absolute most insane. He went from acting and sounding like this: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/callofduty/images/2/2c/Moon_Audio_Log_1_BO.ogg/revision/latest?cb=20130811020209

To this: https://youtu.be/2UxWGDwIpg4

The difference is just staggering. And yet the evolution of his character doesn't end there. On Alpha Omega, Richtofen is more mentally stable than when he was in bo2, serving as the demonic announcer, thanks in part to apparently no longer hearing the voices and having time to reflect on everything that has happened to him during his imprisonment at Groom Lake.

By Tag Der Toten, Ultimis Richtofen is sounding nearly as calm as his Primis self: https://youtu.be/JudP0Eo634E Not to say he fully regains his sanity, but he does become more sound of mind before his death.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this in-depth analysis of Ultimis Richtofen and his transformation throughout the games! This was fun to write, but goddamn took me a long time. I hope it's an informative and interesting read. Feel free to add anything I've missed or got wrong in replies/tags :)

[dany36]

now that i've S-ranked every stage in the DLC and also completed the map, just have some final junk thoughts from the sonic frontiers dlc (plus me raving some more about the music) before i move on to another game :)

i know i mentioned that playing as amy is the best out of the new playable characters, and i still stand by that opinion, but MAN is tails' MAX rings cyclone flying ability fun as FUCK. like, i kind of have a hate-love relationship with it. on one hand, who the hell doesn't like flying around the island at max speed? like, oh, there's something all the way over there, let me just ZOOM right over in a few seconds!! AND the fact that you can control its height unlike knuckles' flying is just insanely cool. on the OTHER hand though, yes it cheapens tails' flying ability because honestly once you get the cyclone ability, you don't even have to do any of the set-paths that the game wants you to follow to get to the map kocos or skill kocos. you can just fly up to them and boom, didn't have to do the set path. which is kind of sad because those can be really fun and satisfying to complete, so what i'd end up doing was get to the area where the map koco would be, and instead of just flying up to it, try to follow the path and get the map that way to not just suck the fun out of the entire thing

but also, that one M-puzzle where it lit up 3 or 4 red beams of light all across the island and you had to reach all of them under a time limit??? MAN i think that was my favorite puzzle of all!!! i first bumped into that one when i was playing with amy, and at first i thought i was gonna have to come back to it with sonic since i didn't think i'd get another character that would be as fast as him (also didn't have the spin dash ability yet since this was early in the game). but holy shit once i unlocked that ability and saw just how fucking fast you could fly around the island (skells from xenoblade x my beloved), i immediately went back to that puzzle and just completed it as tails. just so damn awesome!!

and SPEAKING OF the spin dash....wow. amy, knuckles, and tails may not be as fast as sonic, but they become just as fast as him with this skill. and i can't believe i went through the entire main game without using the spin dash more often. spin dashing around the island and abusing the hell of its physics was just something that never got old, even in the sonic stages. i don't think i ever used the fast travel with the portals since i mean....spin dashing everywhere the island is just like a damn dream come true: it's always something i'd do in sonic adventures' mystic ruins but at a smaller scale, but this time? the ouranos island is fucking huge and gorgeous and then with that beautiful music playing in the background and just rolling around everywhere at high speeds AAAAAAAAAA this game is honestly just the perfect sonic game!!!!!

i think i already talked about this earlier but the new stages were super fun and actually challenging to S rank, unlike the main game. there were some i wasn't too fond of (like that one where sonic's speed as "gears"?? what was that lol) but overall they were a joy to replay over and over and try to bring my time down. i think my favorites were definitely 4-A (with the rocket boosters and beehive-looking things) and 4-B (the one with the hologram tails and the falling platforms).

the music. GOD how does sega keep doing this!!! every single new character theme is just so on fucking point, but i gotta say amy wins this one as well: there's something just so hauntingly beautiful about her theme that just honestly fits the overall mood of the game. but honestly, all just so good. i neeeeed to get my hands on the ost, especially since i'm late to the party and realized that now they have a GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL AMAZING remixed version of the windy and ripply (emerald coast 2) song AKA a song so dear and beloved and nostalgic to my heart that just thinking about it makes me want to cry tears of joy. like, running around the islands with that music playing in the background is just so freeing and beautiful and exciting that just makes you feel glad that you get to experience a sonic game like this.

oh shit got sidetracked talking about this game's overall out-of-this-world soundtrack again um um um what else. i mean, i really don't know what else to say except frontiers just knocked it out of the park and surpassed my expectations in every single way possible. as i was playing the game and would just be exploring the island and completing puzzles/paths, i'd just keep saying to myself "this game is fucking amazing" every once in a while. sega just fucking nailed the 3d sonic formula and any doubt i had about an open-world sonic game was just thrown out the window: i couldn't stop thinking about this being a MUCH larger, more fun, and more gorgeous version of running around mystic ruins than i could have ever imagined, and it's exactly the type of exploration freedom that i had been itching for in a sonic game.

and it goes without saying that sega bringing back amy, tails, and knuckles as playable characters was just soooo fucking good and refreshing to see, and my god did they do them justice. last time they were all playable was, what...sonic adventure?? really?? like, holy crap. sonic frontiers really was a love letter to 3d sonic games and ughhhh i just can't stop saying good things about it. EVERYONE NEEDS TO PLAY THIS GAME!!!

anyway!!! can't wait to see where the sonic 3d series is headed after this, but for now, time to wait for sonic superstars (holy shit that's soon!!!) since that looks fun as hell too, and that's me saying it as someone who prefers 3d sonic vs 2d sonic!

[moonpool-system]

OUR CHANCE IS HERE!!!

Celeste is literally the game that started our system journey, and anon is not only right but is putting things lightly - they're expressly a system, it's just about as explicit as it can get without the two directly using internal communication to speak. Ingame, Badeline is actually known as "Part of Me", and is introduced as gaining a body due to the Mountain's power. It's important to remember she's only physically separated from Madeline because Celeste Mountain itself is expressly causing it.

Here's a quote from her first introductory conversation with Madeline:

Clearly indicating that she existed before the Mountain's power and it gave her a body, and that she was previously frustrated at being trapped within Madeline.

She then says "We need a hobby, but this..."

'"Us." "We."

Badeline is depicted not just as a part of Madeline but as a person in of herself, with her own wants, thoughts, opinions, and fears, often contrasting Madeline's, and their relationship is ever-changing. What's even more amazing is that it seems self aware, touching on many beats and roadblocks we and many other people struggle with when it comes to members similar to her. It really hits home.

Not only that, but the gameplay is probably the most accessible I've ever seen in a platformer, especially a precision one. From the lightning fast reloading times with basically no backtracking, to the way it catches you a few frames out from the ledge even if you didn't get close, to small hitboxes where I can basically stick my head in the spikes and still be fine, to an extremely simple core moveset that's easy to memorize and can be mapped to any buttons. It's the only platformer I've ever played with this range of an insanely low skill floor and the mind-blowingly high skill ceilings of optional and modded maps. There're also FOUR different ways Badeline is integrated into the gameplay herself! And if all that is still a bit too hard, there's an accessibility mode on top of that. This game is accessibility first, and it feels like it WANTS you to reach the top of that mountain. The devs care, and they understand.

The two go through a beautiful and poignant dance of growth and acceptance, the most realistic and touching depiction of plurality I've ever seen in my entire life, to this day. This game's storyline is incredible, so I'll put a couple other spoilery pieces of evidence for their explicit plurality under the cut.

Madeline & Badeline's plurality goes way beyond headcanon, her plurality and learning to work with herselves healthily is the central focus of the game. (Did I mention Madeline is canonically trans?) It's 100% worth checking out, especially since it's indie, real cheap for its quality, and available on basically every platform!

As for spoilery evidence...

Throughout most of the game, Madeline has red-orange hair and the power to use a single dash ability, shown to be used by her hair changing to be blue. However, once she and Badeline agree to work together...

We see Badeline physically disappear, now joining Madeline's body, and her hair turns pink as she "levels up" - this is the only time this happens in the game, so presumably this level is from 1 to 2? Speaking of from 1 to 2, Madeline now has two dashes due to Badeline's influence, effectively doubling her abilities because her system member is now right there with her, helping her climb.

This feels like a metaphor for the type of integration we see in healthy multiplicity where system members retain their identities. It's less about becoming one person, and more about connecting on an instinctive level and working as a team. They even still talk to each other later, so they don't just become one person!

When they reach the peak...

Madeline echoes Badeline's fears of not being able to communicate physically anymore.

Badeline is scared to lose this body she's been given by the Mountain's power, not losing her consciousness.

When you share a body, you have to depend on the host sometimes to listen to you, and that trust can be terrifying - it's poignant to Badeline's character arc to be expressing this herself. She says she can't go back to how it was before, once again reassuring the concept that she was self aware and feeling before the Mountain separated her.

After they climb down the mountain, Madeline's friend Theo calls her name and asks her if she reached the top. In response, Badeline appears physically and Madeline says...

"We."

as for fictional systems, a decent number of people headcanon madeline/badeline from celeste as a system!

Gotta add Celeste to my list of things I want to do now! (I already knew it was supposed to be a great game, but now it's a great plural game too.)

And looking at all the adorable Badeline and Madeline art here on Tumblr makes me want it even more! 😁

[daughter-of-sapph0]

my opinion on terastallizing and tera type pokemon.

this is pokemon's fourth major battle gimic, and honestly they're starting to feel very similar to each other. I think terastal is trying very hard to be like mega evolution without being mega evolution. everyone knows how much fans want mega evolutions back. but in my opinion, I like how the battle gimics have felt unique from each other, instead of making pokemon look even more like the exact same game every year.

here's my opinions on the other battle gimics for context.

mega evolution looked cool as fuck and was awesome from a casual perspective, but it only affected a small handful of pokemon and made those few pokemon insanely overpowered in competitive play. it also took away your item slot, so any cool item gimics were unusable for the pokemon you wanted to mega evolve.

z moves tried their best to balance competitive by making every pokemon have access to a powerful once-per-battle attack. this looked pretty cool, and you gained a steady amount of new z crystals throughout the main story so it always felt fresh. but again, it took away your item slot. also, the animations for z moves are really hit or miss. especially the type based ones. because they have to work for every single pokemon who can learn a certain type of move, most z moves just have the pokemon in an idle pose moved around awkwardly without any animation. the specific pokemon based z moves look far more polished. but after you've seen it once, it just gets obnoxious seeing the same animation over and over again.

dynamax and gigantimax are probably the most competitively balanced gimics. you have a once per battle effect to make a single pokemon giant, getting a huge buff to hp, and being able to use basically a z move for three turns. some pokemon change their form during a dynamax, becoming gigantimax, but all this does is add a secondary effect to their stab gmax attacks. while it isn't as cool or flashy as megas or z moves, I personally like dynamax. it adds another layer of strategy, especially in competitive doubles. plus, unlike with z moves where certain pokemon still have overpowered moves, dynamax effects all pokemon pretty much evenly. also, it doesn't take up an item slot! in sun and moon, you'd sometimes see no z moves be used at all in battles, because giving up an item to use a powerful move only once in battle wasn't always worth it. but now, not only are the three turns of dynamax more impactful in the battle as a whole, you can still have items like focus sash or life orb to make those insanely powerful attacks even more powerful.

now, here's my opinions on terastal. my opinions will probably change once I get my hands on the game, but right now, it seems pretty cool. when you terastallize your pokemon, they turn all crystalline, grow a shiny crown made of gems, and gain a buff to moves of their type until the end of the battle. apart from looking cool and giving a boost to stab moves, it also changes your type! and yes, that also changes your weeknesses and resistances. apparently these pokemon with tera types different from their normal type are rare, usually only found in a raid den (similar to a max raid dens from swsh). this adds a whole new level of strategy. maybe you'd spend time looking for a strong pokemon with a specific tera type, so you can perform a massive switch up on your opponent. "what's that, you tried to use an ice type move on my dragon pokemon? well guess what, my dragon pokemon is fire type now." also, it looks as if every single pokemon can use this gimic, and every single pokemon can be one of the 18 different tera types. I have no idea how this will affect competitive play, but it seems like it will make very weak pokemon more viable. also, rather than being recharged at the end of the battle, terastal only recharges at pokemon centers or at specific locations on the map. so it adds another layer of strategy in normal gameplay.

personally, I think terastal looks pretty cool. again, my opinions will probably change once I play the game, but as of right now, I think this is on par with if they had just brought mega evolution back instead.

[chasingfictions]

Hi sorry i so desperately want to send this from my sideblog babygirlgiles bc I already went insane about your edit in the tags which gives some Hashtag Context, but I just saw your Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong edit and I’m losing my mind over it omg. Like please feel free to interpret this as free reign to like share any and all thoughts about it or how you made choices for it or anything, but I was also curious how you interpreted the line about mistaking these walls for skin? I’ve always read it as kind of constraining (if that makes sense?), walls being something hemming in the “you” being addressed, it just feels almost claustrophobic. But the way you did it complicates that a lot more I think and gives it so much more nuance!! I’m going insane thinking about it and could probably ramble for ages about all the different readings your edit opens up for me (especially bc the pairing of “the room with everyone in it” as the walls, and then the walls being in that final moment of Chosen) but instead I thought I’d ask you if you wanted to ramble about it lol

Sorry if this is deranged :) and if this is a truly “the curtains are just blue bc they’re blue” moment then whoops :)

hi hello i love this ask!!! also both ur urls fuck

ok But basically I think the way I was interpreting that line in my post -- and obviously there are many different ways to interpret it! -- is that for the speaker, they’re viewing their body as a kind of structure, as a hodge podge stitched together of various different elements. like going from “the most beautiful part of your body is wherever your mother’s shadow falls” to “here’s the house with childhood whittled down to a single red trip wire.” Or later the repetition of “the most beautiful part of your body” again directly abuts where the speaker describes a room. and that distance from the physical form exists again at the top of the poem, with the bit about how the spine won’t remember its wings. and that being linked to the father’s role in the speaker’s bodily makeup sort of by the transitive property makes it also about the house, because the speaker’s mother is linked to the house.

which I think is really true of buffy as a show— the idea of the self being made up of many different pieces. like I think you can read the whole show as a map of Buffy’s psyche — which is an idea I’m sure I got from somewhere else but I can’t quite remember where. most likely from @impalementation’s meta though . like in restless, with the core scoobies literally being represented as Buffy’s mind, heart, and spirit, which then becomes a metaphorical framework you can apply to the rest of the show. or how buffy keeps acquiring shadow selves in other characters — notably cordelia, faith, and spike. or how someone like dawn is literally stated by the narrative to be a part of buffy. “normal again” plays with this too — the idea that the scoobies and sunnydale can be read as a metaphorical map of Buffy’s psyche . they’re her insides. Which isn’t to say I take normal again to literally mean that buffy is imagining the whole show. rather that it’s just another sheet of vellum you can lay on top of the rest to deepen the reading

so the “here’s the room with everyone in it,” is like, buffy is the room with everyone in it. The show and the person. all those people in that room, in that shot from family, they’re pieces of her. tara and anya have less clear roles, but I do think that by being the partners of her spirit and heart, they become a part of that framework. and even, again, the episode, the line "we're family," ties us back into the mother and father of it all for this poem, right? and it’s not just that buffy has a fragmented self for no reason!!! i think it can be directly read in conjunction with her queerness, right? Like, being the slayer is so queercoded all over the place . BUT, in the context of this poem, I think the queerness at play here is largely in conjunction with parental reactions to queerness. Buffy comes out to her mom and her mom kicks her out of the house. Buffy is taken to a world where her friends are literally figments of her imagination, and in that world her mother and father still love her and are still alive. Buffy’s mom institutionalized her when she first heard buffy talk about being a slayer—and that’s a huge part of queer history and queer tragedy, is that same thing happening to our community when we’re found out. it’s also this post from @slayer-pride-parade — diversity win! Buffy’s metaphorical heart mind and spirit are all attracted to women! — and it’s also the fact that her shadow selves all can be read to represent that repressed attraction. which I’m not gonna go in depth here about bc my entire blog is about how her shadow selves are a representation of her queerness lmao. that’s basically my whole btvs meta tag.

SO, long story short, I feel like the “mistake these walls for skin” is about like, buffy being able to accept that she isn’t just a bunch of pieces stitched together all wrong, she isn’t just a self who needs to be fragmented apart into separate pieces because the whole of her is too dangerous, too queer, wants too much. and this happening at the final moment in chosen when a) she's just changed forever the status of what it is to be a slayer, both for herself and for future slayers. she's taken the loneliness out of it and replaced it with queer community. and b) she's just had this reconciliation moment with the latest in a long line of her shadow selves -- one of her last acts on the show is to tell spike, her shadow, i love you, and that shadow's last act is save the world. (which kind of takes us back to the joyce of it all. spike being there at that first coming out, spike being embroiled in motifs of home). but that's why i chose that moment to end on -- buffy is obviously a show about a thousand things but one of those is the journey to self acceptance, self understanding, self love, at the risk of sounding buzzwordy. which is why i love that the show goes past 5x22, which is why the show couldn't go past chosen. because this was the central narrative question we've been circling around from the beginning: how do we get buffy to a place where her body isn't just the terrifying haunted house she lives inside of, but where it’s her. and it is. it finally is.

[yes-ihavealwaysbeengreen]

Day 10: Used Tea Bags - Javier Pena

Day 10: Used Tea Bags - Javier Pena 

This takes place during season 3 of Narcos. Honestly I love season 3 Javier when he’s the boss and even more stressed and I just want to rub his shoulders and tell him it’s all going to be okay. 

Pairing: Javier Pena x reader 

Rating: 18+ language and implied sexual situations. 

November Writing Challenge Masterlist (Holy crap I am 1/3 of the way done!) 

Day 9: No, you don’t - Maxwell Lord 

It was late, the sounds of cumbia played through the open window from the bar down the street. The well worn kitchen table is covered in maps, half drunken cups of coffee, a chipped plate is covered in cigarette butts, some still smoldering, and on another is several used tea bags bleeding onto the plate. The world should be sleeping but not here, here there were plans to be made. 

Javier Pena kneeled next to the coffee table flanked by Trujillo, and Colonel Hugo Martinez on his left and Chris Feistl and Daniel Van Ness on his right. A map of Cali with different routes to the airport are highlighted. The Cali police force are crooked as hell so they needed a way around them, if they got in there and actually found Gilberto Rodriquez they needed to figure a way to get him out of Cali and back to Bogota without any corruption. The only way to do that was to plan everything in secret. 

You had been assigned to work with Javier upon his return to Columbia as his assistant. Everyone had warned you before he got there about Agent Pena, saying he was an asshole, womanizer, and should have gone to jail for his involvement with Los Pepes. But, you tried to go into it with an open mind. 

When you first introduced yourself the only thing that stuck out to you was how exhausted he looked and not just physically. His eyes held a weariness that couldn’t fade from only a good night's rest. He was reluctant at first to accept any help whether it be in the form of a cup of coffee, an ashtray, or a file he had left on your desk the night before. 

But you never gave up, always thinking one step ahead of him. You handed him a file before he even asked for it, you brought him lunch before he starved to death in his office, and you always knew when he was low on cigarettes because a new pack would appear on his desk. He tried to tell you he was quitting but you both knew that was bull shit. 

When Feistl and Van Ness made their connection to ‘Natalia’ the informant inside the Cali cartel things began to move quickly. It became apparent that they needed to work under the radar on this one. They needed to find somewhere they could meet but would also be discreet and before Javier could even asked you offered your apartment as ground zero for taking down Gilberto Rodriquez. The small government provided apartment wasn’t meant to hold more than maybe two people but over the past few nights it held at least ten at all times. Not only the Colonel, and Trujillo but Pena, the DEA guys, and several loyal members of Search Bloc. 

At this point you're sure your neighbors believe you’ve become a prostitute from the revolving door of men who come through your door during the night. Especially Senora Rivera who yesterday morning gave you a rosary before telling you she is praying that you don’t get any diseases from the men you keep company. What a charming neighbor she is. You're tempted to bake her some chocolate chip cookies and ask a few Search Bloc guys to deliver them but you know that will only make it worse. 

Javi is going over the plan for the twelfth time that night and you're in the kitchen making another pot of coffee. You yawn silently to yourself before pouring the steaming magic into the cups and putting them on the tray to bring them to the men in the living room. They nod there thanks and you return the gesture taking the remaining two cups over to the window and tapping lightly. On the fire escape are two armed Search Bloc members keeping their eyes open onto the street below. They take the cups gratefully before thanking you. 

“Estrella, can you come over here?” Javier calls you. 

You turn raising one eyebrow at the nickname but you don’t correct him, “Si, what’s up?” 

“I want you to sit down and listen to the plan, if there is anything you think we missed or does not add up I need you to tell me. People’s lives could be at stake if we make any mistakes.” 

Feistl sighs loudly running his hands over his face, “Pena why the hell are you going to explain this to her? She’s not going to understand any of this!” 

You have to bite your tongue before you say something you regret. Luckily the looks the other men give him are enough to shut him up. “Because idiot it’s good to get a fresh set of eyes on these things, and she can always see things before I even think them so sit down, shut up, and let her listen. I’m sorry Estrella, can you sit please?” he gestures to the seat across from him. 

You sit down and nod your head. Javier proceeds to go through the entire plan again. Describing the whole thing from beginning to end, it was truly brilliant to use a poultry truck to transport Rodriquez to the airport, no one would be looking for a poultry truck….Except for any of the crooked Cali cops that see him being arrested. 

You interrupt Javier, “What about two trucks?” 

“What do you mean Estrella?” 

You try to prevent the blush that is slowly creeping up your neck from the new nickname, “I mean using the poultry truck is brilliant but why not have two trucks a decoy to mislead them. Someone else can drive the other truck and lead the cops on a wild goose chase while the truck containing Rodriquez goes to the airport.” 

The Colonel grabs a new cigarette before lighting it, “that's’ damn genius, they will see the truck when we arrest Gilberto but they won’t know there are two. We get them to follow the wrong truck and we are in the clear,” he smiles at you, the first smile you had seen on his face. 

Javier is just about beaming at you from across the table and you listen for several more hours as they rework the plan to include your idea. When they finish each man feels like the best plan has been laid forward and they break up the group to go home. Tomorrow would be a big day for them all and they would need to be on the road to Cali by ten AM if they wanted their plan to work. 

You walk everyone to the door, and as they leave one by one they thank you for the use of your apartment until they are all gone except for Javier and Fiestl. “Hey boss, are you leaving soon? I want to have a private talk with our hostess,” Fiestl asks gesturing with his thumb toward you.  

You frantically shake your head no begging Javier not to leave you alone with the DEA agent, “Actually I have some more things to finalize before we leave tomorrow, just ignore me it will be like I’m not even here,” he smirks at you and you are half tempted to walk across the room and slap the smirk off his face. 

Chris turns to you, “So uhm listen, I know that this is all really scary for you, but I want to let you know that we are all going to be ok. And I was kind of wondering when we get back if you’d like to go out and get a drink?” 

You try not to let the cringe show on your face, “Oh uhm Chris, thank you but I don’t really drink and uhm…” you're trying to think of some other excuse when you lock eyes with Javier across the room. Gone is the smirk and instead you see something dark in his eyes, unwavering, and you know what to say, “I’m actually already with someone else, it’s not really a public thing but I’m really serious about him.” 

Chris’s right arm comes up to scratch the back of his head, and he lets out an awkward chuckle. “It’s ok, you don’t have to lie to me. I understand.” 

“I’m not lying. This guy he...he drives me crazy, he’s better than any drug on the market I...I’m already taken, I’m his.” You can feel the burning gaze of the man on the couch and it takes all your strength not to look at him, 

Chris lowers his head nodding before turning towards the door turning at the last moment to say, “he’s a lucky man then, goodnight,” before he leaves shutting the door behind him. 

You don’t turn away from the door scared to death of what you will see behind you. You are so focused on keeping your breathing level you don’t notice Javier has gotten up and is now behind you. You let out a small yelp when he spins you around to face him. “Did you mean it?” His voice is raspy and deep from years of smoking and his cologne is deep and strong in your lungs. 

You're worried your voice will betray you but you need to get this out, “Yes...you do drive me absolutely insane, but we both know what’s been going on here, I’m yours...I’ve always been yours,” you whisper. 

The hands on your waist slide against your lower back pulling you even closer to him. You can smell the smoke, and coffee on his breath and you try to calm down your heartbeat but it’s useless when he looks you in the eyes and says, “mine.” 

You crash together, his mouth is fused to your own and every single one of your senses is screaming Javier. His taste, his touch, his smell it’s all overwhelming and you cry out when you feel him grope your breast through your shirt. His lips move towards your neck and begin nipping as his tongue tracing along the same path to the curve of your ear, “bedroom?” The raspy question breaks you from the haze and you pull him towards the small bedroom. 

The whole way your lips never break from his skin even though you both aren’t the most graceful and when you both land in the bed with a small grunt that’s the last discomfort you felt for the night, from then on it was all pleasure. 

When the sunlight streams through the sheer curtains the next morning, illuminating the bed in the warm glow of the morning. Rough calloused fingers trace patterns over the top of your exposed back and you smile before nuzzling yourself further in the warmth of Javier’s chest. He smells like smoke, leather, and cologne; an intoxicating combination. 

“I have to leave soon,” his voice is raspy and heavy from sleep. 

“I know...but I really wish you didn’t have too,” you tell him, pulling back to look into his eyes, “but when you come back you will be the man who took down Gilberto Rodriguez.”

“This better work,” he sighs, “or else I will probably be sent back stateside, I messed up once already, they aren’t going to let me do it again.” 

“You're going to succeed! Don’t be so defeatist, your amazing at what you do your-” 

“Would you come with me?” he asks so quietly you almost don’t hear him. 

“What?” you whisper. 

He takes a few minutes to collect himself before he asks again, “if I get sent home, would you come with me back to Texas? I...I am not the same person I was when I first came here. Yes, I drink too much, I smoke too much, and I can be a real asshole but I’ve never been shy about what I want. I want you Estrella.” 

You have to remind yourself to breathe before you close your eyes letting out a small sigh, “Yes, yes I would go with you Javi. Remember what I said last night? I’m yours.” 

He pulls you back towards his chest, putting a finger underneath your chin and fusing your lips together he only pulls back once to repeat the same thing he told you the night before, “mine.” 

Day 11: Walking the dog- William Miller 

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

BTS DRABBLE-Kim Taehyung 🎃

Halloween Series: Demon Kim Taehyung

A lonely queen with a lust for revenge. An unpredictable demon who is bound to her side. The only thing keeping them together? A few summoning symbols, a dark and bloody common goal, and a single, red thread of fate. 

Tags: BTS, Bangtan Boys, Bangtan Seonyendan, Bulletproof Boy Scouts, Beyond the Scene, BTS Drabble, Halloween, Spooky Season, Kim Taehyung, Taehyung, V, Taehyung x you, Taehyung x reader, Demon Taehyung

Genre: Dark Fluff/Suggestive, Angst if you squint

Warning: Mentions of death and past child abuse

Title: Bound to Me

(image credit: https://twitter.com/kanux4)

“Will you leave today?” 

It is the same question that has left your lips every day since you met him. 

And when he answers, it is the same answer he has given you every day in return. 

“My darling, why would I ever leave you?” 

Some days, that is all he offers you. Other days, like today, he gives you more. 

Tossing aside his book and leaving the comfort of the fire, Taehyung crosses the room to where you stand-staring out the window at the barren, snow covered garden-and sliding his arms around your waist to rest at your hips, he leans in, pressing his lips to the juncture of your neck, in a lingering, gentle kiss. 

“Our contract is not yet met, darling. I have no desire to leave until it is paid in full.” His lips run a path along your bare shoulder, and you feel him smirk slightly against your skin, as he speaks again, a hint of amusement in his tone, “Besides, if I left, heaven knows who or what would take advantage of your empty summoning circle.” 

“And what would you know about heaven, demon?” You quip back almost instantly-though there is no bite to your tone-and he chuckles softly against your skin, where his lips still rest, warm and moist, at the crest of your shoulder. 

“Not much.” Taehyung admits lightly, as he nips at your flesh once more, the feeling of his pointed teeth sending a slight shiver up your spine, as he pulls away from you, and sits back down once more before the fireplace, reaching for his book as he glances over at your form, still beside the window. “Come on, sweetheart. Stop being moody and let me enjoy your company.” 

You glance over your shoulder at him, and he grins wickedly at you, fingers held out as they beckon for you to come to him, black nail polish and the tattoos that adorn his knuckles flashing in the dim light. “Don’t be stubborn, darling.” He tilts his head-dark purple hair falling over ebony irises-and his grin widens into something a little dangerous and boxy and carefree. “Come over here this instant, or I’ll be forced to come and get you myself.” 

You sigh, hiding the smile that suddenly plays at your lips, and cross the room to do what he asks. 

Because Kim Taehyung may be a demon-bound to you heart and soul until you complete your task-but you are just as much under his control as he is yours, though you’ll never admit it. 

Because Kim Taehyung is heady and intoxicating and everything you could ever imagine and you hope-one day-that you’re ready when he answers your reoccurring question with the words you dread to hear. 

*******

The feel of Taehyung’s long fingers-rings cold against your bare skin-running methodically up the length of the scars on your back, tracing them like maps, makes you shiver in a pleasant way, face buried in the pillow so you cannot see him. 

“Tell me again, darling,” He suddenly murmurs, voice low and dangerous, bordering on a growl, close to your ear, making you jump. “What you want me to say to that bastard right before I slit his throat.” 

“You already know.” You reply, slightly breathless, as you turn your head to the side to glance up at him, raising a brow in his direction, as his fingers curl into the fabric of the pillow on either side of your head and he towers over you. “I don’t care what you say to him. As long as you make him suffer.” 

“Hmmm.” The demon hums in low satisfaction under his breath, as he reaches up to brush your hair out of the way, baring your neck, before he leans over and runs his tongue-hot and wet and dexterous-up over the revealed flesh of your throat, to the juncture of your ear, nibbling on the lobe there for a moment with the feel of sharp teeth and a smirk. 

“You do know how to drive a demon crazy, sweetheart. And besides-” He pulls back from you, gripping your chin in his fingers to make you look at him. “Pain and suffering are my forte. So rest easy, knowing that that son of a bitch who hurt you will plead and beg for every last, pathetic, drawn out moment of his life.” 

You roll over onto your back, locking your gaze with his, his hands still denting the pillow on either side of your head, and you can’t help but feel a small twinge of satisfaction, as Taehyung’s eyes rove down the length of your naked body with something shamelessly akin to insane hunger and desire washing over his dark irises. 

You reach up, letting your hands trace over the hard planes of his chiseled stomach and chest, driving him crazy for just a moment longer, before you say with a twist of your lips, “Now you’re catering to my taste, demon. Your words are making me want to beg-which is truly unbecoming of a queen-for you to take me here and now.” 

The corner of Taehyung’s full mouth twitches upward into the beginning of a self satisfied smirk. “Really. Well,” His tongue darts out to sweep slowly across his lips, and he’s staring at your exposed flesh like a dangerous animal who is ready to devour his prey. “You know what I always say, sweetheart.” He reaches out, lightly resting his fingers around the base of your throat.

 “You can be the queen in every other aspect of your life, but in our bed?” His long fingers, the charcoal nails dark against your skin, tighten slightly at the column of your throat, and your heart pounds wildly in your chest in response, making him flash pointed teeth at you and lean down, the intense hunger in his eyes now swirling dangerously. “I’m the king.” 

*******

You’re sitting in the garden a few weeks later, bundled in a cloak and hat and gloves against the cold, when everything finally comes out into the open. 

You’re getting so close to finishing your father, to finding the ending of the revenge you’ve carried close to your heart for so long, and with that, the empty feeling in the pit of your stomach-that has been slowly growing day by day, ever since Taehyung entered your life-has suddenly become too much to bear. 

Flipping a page in the novel you are halfheartedly reading, you let out a sigh, your breath freezing in the cold winter air even before it can leave your lips. 

The garden is desolate and empty this time of year-the cobbles covered in a crunchy layer of snow, the trees nothing but dark branches against a gray sky-but winter has always been your favorite, because it is quiet and serene and everyone leaves you alone. 

Everyone except Kim Taehyung, apparently. 

“What are you doing out here?” The demon appears in one of the archways that surround the garden, and as he approaches you, you can already tell he is shivering violently beneath the coat he has thrown on. “Shit, sweetheart, you’re gonna freeze out here. Are you crazy?” 

You don’t look up at him, instead, choosing to turn another page in your book, before you reply casually, “I forgot, demon, that you’re not used to the cold, being from such a hot place.” 

“Hey.” He replies in a wounded tone, making you smirk slightly, as you keep your head bent to your book. “That’s a rumor, okay? Hell can actually be quite icy, especially if you get on the big guy’s bad side.” 

He sits down beside you, rubbing his hands together for warmth, as you finally close the book and glance over at him. 

You had always been told that demons were to be feared-dark, inhumane, cruel beings who simply did what you asked and then killed you when they had the chance-but Kim Taehyung is dangerous and dark and cruel in another way, and your heart thuds painfully in your chest just thinking about it. 

He notices you staring, and turning his head to you, he asks, “What?” 

You clear your throat, glancing back down at the book that is now closed in your lap, as you smooth your fingers over the gilded letters of the title. Finally, you manage to query in a small voice, “Will you leave today, Kim Taehyung?” 

He sighs from beside you-though it is lighthearted-and leaning back on his hands on the cold, stone bench, he tilts his head back to look up at the sky, violet locks hanging down the collar of the coat he wears, as he ponders your question silently for several moments. 

Finally, he quips back, “Is your father dead at your feet, darling?” He waits for you to answer, brow cocked, stunningly sharp and beautiful profile outlined against the winter sky, and when you finally shake your head, he nods, grinning at you, before he says, “Then no. I’m not leaving today. I still have work to do.” 

You swallow hard at his words, your mouth suddenly dry, and your fingers grow still on the pages of the book in your lap. 

Taehyung doesn’t seem to notice. 

Standing up, once again vigorously rubbing his hands together, his breath coming in bright bursts of steam from his mouth, he looks down at you, offering a hand, as he exclaims, “Now come on. Let’s go warm up inside.” He tilts his head and offers you a slightly smug smirk. “Either by the fire or by our own methods.” 

You don’t look at him, and you don’t take his offered hand. 

Instead, there are several seconds of tense silence between the two of you, and then you suddenly let the words slip from your lips, quiet and fervent and cold, “I know everything, Taehyung.” 

You don’t look at him, but you feel the pause in the air around you, as he considers your words. 

“What are you talking about?” He asks, and there is a shake to his voice, though you are sure it’s just from the cold. 

You finally manage to look up at him, your eyes meeting his own, and your fingers clench into the material of your overcoat, as you take in a shaky breath of your own and push forward, “I know everything.” 

Recognition dawns across the demon’s ethereal features, but you do not stop, coming to your feet before him, the book tumbling to the cobblestones, suddenly forgotten in the moment. “When I summoned you,” You stumble over the words, as they all fight their way to the tip of your tongue, ready to be released, to be free. “I made a mistake.” 

Taehyung’s eyes darken slightly, and his voice is slightly dangerous, as he murmurs in a low tone, “(Y/N)-”

You speak over him, hands now twisting into the fabric of your skirt feverishly. “I made a mistake. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I visited the summoning circle on a whim last night, and I saw-I saw what I had done wrong.” 

His lips part, as if he’s going to try to speak again, exhale emerging on a cloud of frost from between the gap, and he steps toward you, reaching out to touch you, but you back away from him, almost stumbling over the bench you had been sitting on in your haste to put space between the two of you. 

“You lied to me.” You point a trembling finger in his direction, and the words, and the look on his face, make a bitter taste flood into your mouth, but you cannot stop now. “You were never bound to me. I summoned you, and I messed up, and you’ve always been free.” 

He sighs, heavy this time, something unreadable crossing his eyes, and then says gently, “(Y/N), I can explain-” 

“Why are you still here?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself, the words seeming to hang in the crisp air between the two of you. “Why didn’t you leave? You’re not bound to me, Kim Taehyung. So why have you stuck around?” 

Your body is trembling and your knees feel weak, but you have to hear his answer. You need to know. 

When he looks at you, his dark irises are swirling, and his features are set, normally full lips pressed into a thin line, and when he speaks, his voice is hoarse and truthful, “I stayed because of you.” 

Your mouth drops open, and the only thing you can manage to say is, “What?” 

He steps toward you once more, and this time, you do not push away from him, your knees resting against the cold stone of the bench at your back. He reaches out, lightly brushing a strand of hair from your forehead, and his ungloved hands are cold against the rosy skin of your cheeks, as he runs a finger down to your jawline. “I stayed because of you, sweetheart.” 

“Why?” You ask next, feeling suddenly and completely out of your depth. 

“Because-” He sighs, and the pad of his finger goes across the skin of your lips like a feather, as his gaze holds yours. “Like an idiot, I fell for you the moment you summoned me into existence.” 

You swallow, and your sure the demon standing before you can hear how loudly your heart is pounding. 

“You were dramatic beauty and bloody revenge and sharp edges hiding an incredible soul and an even more beautiful heart, and I didn’t care that you had screwed up and I was technically free.” Taehyung continues, his voice a low murmur in the close space between the two of you, warmed by your shared breaths in the cold air. “All I wanted was to stay at your side and do anything you asked of me. For the rest of your life.” 

“But you-” You began to say, and then stopped yourself, at the look on his face. 

“I was never bound to you, darling.” He breathes out, letting his hand drop the base of your throat, where the pounding of your pulse could be felt easily beneath his fingers at the hollow of your collarbone. His eyes trace up the length of your neck, back to your eyes. “Not by magic. But absolutely by choice. And every day, every single day,” He lets out a heavy breath through his nose, followed by a slightly humorless chuckle. “You asked me if I was going to leave, and if I’d had a heart, it would have broken it every single time.” 

“I’m sorry.” You manage to say on a whisper, reaching out to cup his face in your hands, the fabric of your gloves sliding over the flawless smooth skin that stretches across his perfect cheekbones. “I’m sorry for asking you that. And I’m sorry I never believed you when you told me no.” 

The corners of his lips turn upward, and his fingers thread through your own, where they still rest on the planes of his face. “Now you know, sweetheart.” He shivered beneath your touch. “Damn it. Can we please get out of this cold?” 

********

The door to the bedroom creaks open, and you stand from your seat beside the fire, anticipation and nervousness and hopefulness swirling, all at the same time, in the pit of your stomach. 

You wait for a breathless moment, and then Taehyung appears in the darkened doorway, shutting the heavy door behind him silently, as you hurry across the floor on stockinged feet to his side. 

“Well?” You ask breathlessly, as he turns to face you, and you meet his unreadable gaze. 

He grins boxily, sharpened teeth flashing bright white in the dim light from the fire, and holds up a knife, dried blood marking the blade a deep maroon. “He’s dead, sweetheart. Just like you wanted.” 

You feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you let out a sigh of relief through your teeth, as you manage to return his smile. “Thank you, Taehyung.” 

Tossing the knife onto the chest of drawers beside the door, the demon cocks his head as he looks at you, a slightly mischievous look coming across his features, as he reaches out, hands going around your waist, to tug you to him. “Don’t you wanna know the details, darling?” 

You reach up, pushing purple locks back from his forehead, and run a finger across a splash of blood that has marked the flawless skin above his dark brow. It is slightly congealed, but still liquid, and when you pull your finger away, the vivid crimson shines dark in the firelight on your fingertip as you admire the sight. 

“No.” You reply simply, glancing up from the blood to meet his gaze once more as he watches you, body pressed against your own. “I trust you made his last moments a living hell. That’s good enough for me.” 

You reach for a handkerchief, and swipe the blood-the last physical piece of your father-onto the crisp, clean white surface. 

“Shit, you’re terrifying.” Taehyung growls out, pulling you back flush against him, as he bends his head to nip the skin playfully along the side of your neck. “I love it.” 

You laugh, his breath tickling your ear, as he presses a sloppy kiss to the juncture of your throat, and pulling back from him slightly, so that you can look up at him, you ask seriously, “Are you ever going to leave, demon?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upward into a smirk. “Never.” 

[slumberinglabyrinth]

a while back i did a review of the prison chapter in por and it was totally overblown and whatever but i kinda wanna do that again for (what remains of) radiant dawn so i guess i will

I'll be doing them in batches since this got long. In this post: 3-5 through 3-9

3-5: it's been two years and i forget why we have to defend this castle

this was a pretty alright map. the reinforcements were annoying but that's because I generally don't actually turtle all that much on defend chapters and as a result I was Right There whenever and wherever they showed up. I tried to grab the energy drop off the boss but the dude ran away from Heather the moment I created an opening and I didn’t want to reset so :^/

I moved provoke off of shinon and onto Brom for this and its... probably way too strong? like it wasn't a 100% draw rate but there were several turns in a row where he was the only person being attacked which is. insane. and also super fun lmao. I think it's a shame that the hostility mechanics in fe aren't as well documented; on some level it ruins the magic, but in cases like this where you're actively influencing it i think it'd be useful to know to what degree you're actually influencing it

disarm + steal is also a really neat/fun idea that would be a great way to counteract how i apparently will never have any money for weapons while playing as the greilgallia party crew 😔 (not to be confused with the greilgallia polycule, which disbanded around twenty years earlier) but I can also never get disarm to proc and half the things that i was able to get unequipped were too heavy for Heather to actually steal 😔

all around a decent map to ease myself back into playing rd with. I certainly could have played better, but defend maps tend to be easier and I appreciated that here

3-6: dawn brigade returns and promptly sinks into a swamp

god this map sucked. it's really hard to pick where to start with it but while i get that lore dictates that they need to only be fighting laguz right here it was probably the wrong gameplay decision with everything else that was going on. I think maybe making tigers have ~4 less str across the board would have been a nice start since I kinda needed to either never get hit by them at all or to kill them first.

several chapters later I’m also realizing maybe i should have like. started to use bexp lol

fighting laguz is also really weird in terms of like... because they have boosted stats while transformed so you can either kill them while they're untransformed (which is fairly easy but since they don't attack, you have to kill them during player phase which means one per turn per unit), deal chip damage (or none at all) to burn down their gauge so you can actually kill them, or try to power through their boosted stats and hope you don’t die in the process.

Because I hadn't used bexp and almost all my units were super weak, I mostly had to rely on the eff against beasts knife that you can buy in the bargain shop this chapter and also volug, who had enough def (even with halfshift) to not die in one round. Honorable mentions go to noland (a fitting name for this map), jill (with canto!), and zihark, who were able to help pick off untransformed laguz, and to micaiah, who could deal magic damage and actually damage transformed laguz.

this was also the first dawn brigade map! i know lots of people people dont like their maps after act 1 and while i was trying to go into this one with an open mind... yeah, they totally got shafted by this map design. it's not really their fault but this map sucked hard. I know that they generally did one of each class variant (fire mage, wind mage, etc.) and not have duplicates but I think that the dawn brigade would have benefited from another mage of some kind if only so you could have someone who could deal with all these goddamned cats

also bk shows up but since he's not a bonus unit i didn't want to feed him kills so i didnt really use him. maybe that was a mistake. also why couldn't he like. warp someone that wasn't the furthest away from the action.

3-7: hey so we heard you liked the previous map

Zihark is there? fuck this i'm reverting to a previous save and unrecruiting him

3-6: i forgot to mention that this map was a swamp map and also had darkness

I know I've mentioned that the similar map in fe6 (desert+fog) was actually kinda alright but this one isnt that at all. Playing through it a second time helped because i knew where enemies were spawning, but it was still more annoying than fun.

Swamps commit the cardinal sin of forcing everyone that can't fly (in this case: everyone but jill) to suffer massive terrain penalties. Deserts at least let mages move a little bit further (which admittedly wouldn't help much here since it's only micaiah and laura), but here everyone friend and foe alike (except Jill) moves slowly and it makes gameplay just grind to a halt which is never, ever fun level design.

Also Fiona just. could not move beyond the starting island. she couldn't even wade a little bit into the swamp like i did with ed and leo to attack at range and get laguz to untransform. they let you deploy everyone but it genuinely felt like i wasn't handed the tools to succeed at this map. always a great goal to have when designing a game

I don't know how to improve this map. unrecruiting zihark (by flying him up to the northeast with jill and having him talk to mordy/lethe) wasn't particularly difficult (battle saves make it easy enough to scout out where they were, and it's not like i'd ever feel bad about 'cheating' on this map) but... would a greater field of view actually help? would making it not a swamp actually help? would giving you more allied units that'll throw themselves in the face of danger with no regard for their own lives actually help?

I don't know.

3-7: but for real this time

Back to ikequest!

this map is... literally the same map as the previous one, but with a different map objective. and larger. and backwards. and not at night.

it's still a swamp.

Luckily, it's a survive map, and the vast majority of the enemy force does not have the time to actually reach you if you hide up in the corner.

Which is exactly what i did.

Here's the list of the optional units (ike and ranulf are mandatory, which sucks because i don't like using twinks cat laguz and ike's plot promotion feels miles away) I deployed and why I deployed them

Haar: to fly out and recruit Jill

Gatrie: to be carried by Haar and specifically to bait the single thunder mage in Haar's way (and help Haar clean out that area so Jill can be safely recruited). I gave him corrosion two maps ago and it actually fully disarmed a guy on this map! 🎊

Brom: stand near where the swamp ends and draw the handful of enemies that actually make it all the way there away from ike and ranulf and ulki and jaffar (who are auto-recruits in this chapter).

This map is. so incredibly easy to both beat and complete the (meaningful) optional objectives on. I missed a conversation between Ike and Micaiah (which requires you to travel all the way across the map that i just finished saying takes forever to traverse and do it in 12 turns), but as long as you unrecruit Zihark on the previous map (he's.... right in the middle of the main force so good luck if you don't) you can probably do this map first try with no deaths even if you haven't trained haargatriebrom At All

I think that kinda underscores a problem that intsys had with rd which was... it feels like they didn't really have a lot of time to fine-tune stuff? like you're going from the hardest (or at least most unpleasant) map to the easiest one this side of the tutorial and it just. doesn't feel good? like there's going to be some inherent difficulty in balancing a difficulty curve when you're shifting from party to party but. this was bad. really bad.

Also a side observation but it does actually say who units can talk to in battle prep which is pretty useful thing to have! you need to shift the stat spreadsheet allllll the way over, but it's there!

i promptly forgot about it by the time 3-10 came around and was like "hey i should just. have ike run up to elincia, see if they'll talk, and then reset" though lol

3-8: Less-than-Lethal Lava Land

A fairly standard lava cave map. My only real comment here is that it was kinda nice how they made the spots where you'd take damage fairly obvious while still making them appear as natural parts of the terrain. I think it was the durandal map in 7 but its "if you're on these at the end of the turn you'll take damage" tiles looked super out of place while the armads map on the other hand wasn't super self-evident and i'm glad they improved

3-9: still cant use lucia >:(

Another party shift (this time to Elincia), and there was some good use of ledges in this chapter!

Most of your units couldn't use them but it created alternate paths for the ones that could (Calill and Devdan). Previous maps tended to use them more as holes in your defenses than needed to be plugged, but it created ways to progress (and ways for reinforcements to catch up) that are usually reserved for flying units, except now you're interacting with the map instead of ignoring it completely.

I think I've yet to meet someone who genuinely likes ledges as a map element, though I think this map really drives home that the sole (inherent) problem with them is the accuracy modifications (which, as this map also demonstrates when the stairs near the end become a chokepoint, are actually present with all elevation changes). While the +2 damage dealt while on the high ground is reasonable, +50 and especially -50 to hitrate are insane and completely unnecessary modifiers. They should be half that if you even choose to retain both.

Anyway.

the absolute lack of a (player-controlled) healer in Elincia's party was also........ interesting. Annoying, but interesting. Why must allied clerics choose death?1

[baconpal]

Bravely Default and BD2

Here it is, the partially prompted bravely default rant/retrospective/whatever the fuck!

With the announcement and demo of bravely default 2 out now for a bigger market than the original game ever had, I feel that as a massive fan of the original I should put some amount of effort into explaining what the appeal of the original is, why bravely second missed a lot of the appeal, and why bravely default 2 has been very, very worrying so far.

If you care about any of that, come on in and I'll try to actually avoid spoilers this time and make this a more legitimate recommendation of a game than usual.

THE APPEAL OF BRAVELY DEFAULT The games obviously have a beautiful art style, especially when it comes to the backgrounds. Every city is like a painting, a beautifully composed shot that you see from just one direction to give you one very strong impression. While the overworld and dungeons are fully 3d and do not have as strong of an artistic impact, they are still very competent and have good colors and cohesive elements. The character design, including the job outfits, the monsters, and all the villains are just top notch. Simple, evocative designs that make the most of the 3DS' limited hardware and build upon the teams skill in making handheld games look good. (its the same team that did the ff3 remake and 4 heroes of light, which looks absolutely kino on original DS) The music is also consistently excellent, with great use of motifing, a full and varied orchestra, and many good slow paced tracks for most of the non-combat segments. Shit like "Conflict's Chime" being the main battle theme, "Infiltrating Hostile Territory" being a common dungeon theme, and "That person's name is" as the rival boss themes makes even the seemingly repetitive songs a constant joy to listen to.

The story is pretty decent, it's not the best part of the game, and there are definitely some aspects of the story some people loathe, but the characters (specifically ringabel fuckin love him) are pretty good and the make for an enjoyable experience. The side material like D's journal are really well done and integrate into the main narrative well for how tucked away and ignored it is.

The gameplay and systems are also some of the best of any RPG I've played, and I've played far too many. The job system from ff3 and 5 is brought to an even greater depth with the addition of universal job abilities, allowing any character of any job make use of another jobs features to create an endless depth to strategy. The way various jobs can mingle together, and how no job is completely perfect on its own makes for very compelling team composition and unit design. The extensive amount of jobs helps as well for replay value and for assuring that no easy winning strategy is found by all players.

The BP system makes battles take on a very unique pacing as the player and enemies can choose to save up turns or blow them all at once to make more complicated strategies possible, or to make the most of an enemies vulnerabilities. This powerful option gives the player a meaningful way to capitalize on their knowledge of the game, while also allowing them to make truly detrimental mistakes. That may sound not good if you're a fucking baby, but nobody wants an RPG you cant lose, but losing because you fucked up is much better than losing because the enemies are just stronger than you or anything to that effect.

But the single greatest part of bravely defaults, which creates the games wonderful balance and unique design philosophy, is that the player is expected to hit the level cap long before finishing the game. Reaching level 99 should occur somewhere just after the middle of the game, at the point where the player has access to almost every job and has encountered almost every type of threat. Reaching level 99 brings with it a certain security, the implication that from then on, all enemies will also be level 99, and that any failure to defeat an enemy will be a result of a bad strategy or the players own mistakes. The game is not easy, and is certainly intended for veteran final fantasy players used to the games with job systems and changing up your entire party to combat a single encounter. Leveling up is not a slow grind part of the game, as you have a lot of control over the speed and frequency of battles, and it is not difficult to keep up with the games level curve.

The other layer to this unique design is that the game expects you to "cheat", or use strategies that would be overpowered and frowned upon in most other games. Bravely default easily expects you to know or discover strategies such as: applying a status to all enemies and killing every enemy with that status using another spell, cycling a counter move over and over to have a nearly invincible party member, applying a healing attribute to a self-damaging character to get huge damage at little cost, casting reflect and dangerous spells on your own party to bounce them at the enemy, or duplicating a move that does maximum damage 15 times in a row. The game builds all of its encounters with the knowledge that your team will be the maximum level and that you will be using the most vile tactics you can come up with, and the game will do the same. Bosses and even common enemies will employ equally vile tactics using the exact same moves that you have access to, meaning you can learn from your enemies or quickly grasp the enemies strategy through your own experiences. One of the late game dungeons is entirely optional, but involves several fights against parties of 4 just like your, using the same jobs and skills you have gained during the game as a perfect test of your ability to develop counter-strategies, instead of relying on your own overpowered tactics. This type of design is really not something you find in many games due to the prominence of grinding or the lack testing strategies, and it is the most true appeal of bravely default to me.

BRAVELY SECOND EXISTS I GUESS So bravely second, a direct sequel to bravely default, definitely is a video game. It uses the original game as a base to generate more content, but completely misses the appeal of the original, and the new content added makes the experience even less focused. Overall, it's still a fairly alright RPG, but it fails to follow up on bravely default in a meaningful way or to provide as compelling of a gameplay experience. Here's some of the things it fucked up.

The game reuses almost everything the original game had, including the same music, world map, and most of the original's towns and dungeons, while adding a few of it's own. Going through areas you've been before never feels good, and the new areas lack the quality or brevity of the original game, leading to uninteresting areas that overstay their welcome, despite being the only break from repetitively reused content.

This extends to the classes but in an even worse sense. One important trait of the original jobs is that they were not perfect by themselves. While every job provided some useful abilities to be shared with other classes, or provided a good base with which to make a character, no class was without flaws. The new classes in bravely second are a lot of the opposite, they are closed loops that think of everything they could have to make a good standalone character. The 4 starter classes you get in bravely second are all brand new, and there's almost no reason to use any class besides those 4 as they are just insanely good. The priest and magician specifically augment magic in a way that makes spells infinity scalable into the end game, completely trampling on any other magic classes territory without needing the extra effort of grinding a new class out. Many of the new job concepts are actually really interesting, like going back in time to return to a healthier state, or a class that changes the stats and attributes of all units in a battle, allowing for all new kinds of strategies; but these classes lack any opportunity to be used to their full potential since they don't mesh well with other jobs and are limited by their self-centered design.

Another completely missed aspect of the original is the level curve discussed before. Bravely second only really requires you get somewhere in the ballpark of level 60-70 to comfortably beat the final boss, and getting too leveled up is really hard to avoid if you are plan to try out various jobs.

Second also fails to account for how many incredibly strong strategies the player can come up with, and even introduces some of its own strategies that it has no way to counteract, such as halfsies (the first skill the first class gets) pretty much splitting the game in two by tripling the value of items like phoenix downs, and allowing for fool-proof strategies by making 1 character focus entirely on defense, effectively making the party unkillable. Essentially, if you play second after having played the original (like any sane person would) then you will absolutely destroy the game with no sense of satisfaction.

The story is also a large step down, enough to become an annoyance, as the writing style changes to a strange romantic comedy situation with, for lack of a better term please forgive my sin, anime writing, but like bad anime writing, ya know the kind of shit that makes people write off all anime cus a lot of it is awkward and unpleasant to listen to. The story tries to mess with some big concepts like "what if new game + was a real thing???" and time travel and shit like that but it doesn't mesh with the tone the rest of the game has and that tone doesn't mesh with the world or art style and it's just a mess.

BRAVELY DEFAULT 2 SEEMS KINDA POOPIE SO FAR So unfortunately, the big appeal of bravely default being part of it's end game makes it hard to judge how 2 is gonna go given we only have a demo of the beginning, but given that the original team behind bravely default has slowly been stripped out of the series as it goes on, the outlook is bleek.

Most immediately obvious is that the artstyle has made a horrible transition from handheld to console, somehow even worse than pokemon. The areas are all fully 3d and lack the style or compositional excellence of bravely default, and the outside environment look like asset store products. The small proportioned characters with simple features to be readable on a small screen have been replaced with identically proportioned characters with excessive detail and ugly features, and look horrible up close on a big screen. Only the negatives of the art style have made it over, and everything good has been made unsavory. The character and enemy design overall is much worse as a result, everything is messy, unclear, and clashes with everything else. It's an absolutely shocking downgrade.

The characters themselves are overly hammy and feel like shallow attempts to have a similar party dynamic to the original without having identical character types, and the writing as a whole doesn't seem to have improved from second, which was already quite a step down from the original.

The gameplay also has not done anything different or interesting yet, and seems to be selling itself to people haven't heard of or gotten enough of the BP system. Enemies being on the overworld as opposed to random encounters shows they have dropped the player agency over encounter frequency, which is dumb. The battles lack any of the flow the original had, especially when using the battle speed option, as the camera does not present everything very well and changes position often as a result. Overall, I have not enjoyed the bravely default 2 demo and feel it shows nothing but a continued decline in the series that likely should have just been a single game. With the release date being set for sometime this year, I feel there is no chance any amount of player feedback could save the game or even begin to pull it in the right direction, as it seems to be fundamentally flawed with an inescapable feeling of shovelware.

SO WHAT? Basically, all I wanted to say here is that the original bravely default is a very unique experience I think every RPG fan should give a good chance (and just do all the optional stuff during the "repetitive" part of the game, it's where all the best content is you bozo) and that the sequels are NOT the same experience. I guess it's kind of mean to just say "hey don't buy or like this new thing cus its not like the old thing" but people should know why there's a bravely default 2 in the first place, and should fight for what made the original great. I worry that BD goes down the same sad path that FF did, becoming a completely hollow, middling series that strayed so far from it's home that a whole new series had to be made to give the fans of the old style a place to go.

Thanks for reading, and hope you got something out of it.

[0poole]

Bloons

Honestly the entire Bloons series has been some of my favorite flash/other-than-flash games out there, and I feel like it’s worth bringing it up since I just crossed the 365 day threshold for BTD6. Maybe in the past, but nowadays I definitely don’t feel like I ever play a game daily for a year straight. Chances are it was a little desperate when I first started playing, but as of now literally every single day I open the game up and play the daily challenge just for the sake of it. Plus, since the chest technically resets every 9 hours or so instead of 24, I could’ve cheesed it a bit, but I didn’t. That’s a pure 365 days of playing the game.

And even apart from that, the entire Bloons series has been in my mind since the first one and my middle/elementary school Coolmath Games days. Even though the puzzle, pure form of Bloons wasn’t as much in my interest, the staying power of the Tower Defense version is crazy. Flash Tower Defense games are plenty, and yet the one with the stupid monkeys throwing darts at balloons was the best.

I went back semi-recently and played a round of each BTD, and I gotta say, it was fun seeing where everything came from. 1 is absolute garbage, forcing you to just spam Super Monkeys if you want to get anywhere, but a good starting point obviously. I honestly know nothing about the people creating these games, but obviously it wasn’t made by a AAA crew, so you can’t expect everything to be put in place in the first iteration. 2 and 3 feel much better, but obviously not much after being so used to the modern stuff, and 4 and 5 are the ones that really shine the most, apart from 6 obviously.

I definitely was one of the types of people who initially reacted poorly to the artstyle change of 5 and 6, but I’ve definitely turned over. I don’t know if the whole BTD community rioted at that point, but I at least was like “ew, they’re cute now” when I first saw it. Thankfully I turned over, and realized the current designs are the absolute best out of the entire franchise. Also, I love their cuteness, as I love cuteness in general, so basically just call it character growth. Even though 2D art always is more interesting for games than 3D in general, the entire art direction of 6 is genuinely really good, being so bright and cartoony (at least before the fifth stages of upgrades) really fits the cartoony idea of monkeys popping bloons. 5, and the entire franchise before it, really is proof enough how horrible a pure top-down perspective is. On the title screen, you can see what the monkeys are supposed to look like, but in-game they literally look like weird blobby scorpions. Even though in the back of my mind I knew what they were supposed to look like, the pure top-down perspective completely ruined the image. Not to mention the OG designs for the monkeys was really weird and bad anyway. Even if you wanted a goofy fat kind of monkey, there are a million better ways to achieve that than how it used to be. Again, of course, they weren’t exactly AAA game-level quality, so you can’t expect such perfect character design.

But, oh my god. One of the things about this game that must’ve kept me through 6 was the character designs. If you know anything about me, it’s that I love a good character design, and 6 is full of them. It’s so interesting to see how they extrapolate the main concepts of each tower into their three different paths. The generic Superman-based monkey can turn into a Batman-based monkey, a Terminator-based monkey, and a fucking ancient god of the sun. The seemingly chill Druid can smite people with the power of Zeus, become the much more expected forest-based type, but also turn into this completely out-there being of pure wrath. I could go on and on about that, but needless to say for so many of them look and are designed so great. I think the tower with the coolest level 5s of the game is the Ninja. It’s hard to explain, but they all just look really cool while also not deviating too much from the cartoony-cute art style. I think my all-time favorite level 5 is the top path of the Wizard, mostly just because he looks really cool, but also because the parts of the path before it show him aging and growing out his beard. I also have to say the 2-0-3/4 Wizard also looks exactly my style, with the dark purply-ness and gold rims. Also, if you haven’t noticed, the Magic monkeys are my favorite type, and not just because their signature color is purple. That’s part of it though. Magic is also just cool in general. My main RPG-class of choice is almost always a mage/wizard.

Also, the heroes are also really fun. As someone who often creates species of aliens/monsters, I always feel like I want to create a dedicated character out of them no matter what, so I feel like the heroes are basically just that. And, of course they have good designs too, and of course as you can probably guess my favorite is Adora, basically being the same thing as the 5-0-0 Wizard with the Sun God aesthetic. Since she has her own stage and a special interaction with the True Sun God/Vengeful Monkey, I think she’s a pretty big deal anyway. I will say that I highly slept on Gwen, but then for Easter they gave her the Harlegwen skin and I fell in love. It’s insanely good stuff. Apart from looks, it does feel nice to have some sort of interchangeable tower that you basically just place and forget about, aside from using their powers. Plus, it makes a really easy type of thing to periodically add to the game to keep things fresh, even with the skins in general. It definitely is much better than the stuff they had in 5, where you had to use Monkey Money to buy each one, and you could only use them once per stage. Obviously 6 has the extra powers to help you out, but they feel much more optional and cheaper than the heroes of 5. Since I barely buy anything with Monkey Money to begin with, and since I’ve obviously had 365 chest openings, and AND since I barely use them to begin with, I’m completely stocked up. I only ever use the farmer and sometimes the tech bot if I get lazy. I did use the portable lake I got from my 365th chest opening after I got it, just for the sake of celebration. That’s literally how my mind goes.

6 does have the slight tinge of a mobile game artstyle, but in this case it’s really just better. I’m not into mobile games, and especially not the generic artstyle they have, but it is really pleasing to look at anyway. It did chase me off before I converted, though. That, and the fact you had to buy it now. Like a true gamer, I was put off by the fact that something that was once expected to be free now has to be paid for. But, then, I realized that the entire franchise has provided much more than 10$ worth of entertainment to me throughout time, so it was extremely fair to pay that. It is still kinda weird how 5 has to be paid for for mobile, when it is just free online, though. However, unlike a true gamer I think the microtransactions of the game are extremely fair. Considering they just give you things that you don’t need, and can get for free otherwise, I think it’s completely fine to have them. It sounds bad on the surface to have to pay for the game and have there still be microtransactions in it, but since they’re completely optional there’s no good reason to hate it. I think people assume that means that you have to pay for the game, and pay extra for different major parts of the game, and that sours their opinion on everything. Gamers are a strange, irrationally angry breed. I do hate using my phone for pretty much anything, though, so once I bought 6 on Steam I haven’t played it on my phone since. It’s just so much better in every single way...

I bought the game around the time of one of my family’s semi-annual trips to England because I thought it’d help when we were traveling between wi-fi spots, and it really did wonders for me then. Probably looked like some asshole teen to strangers who don’t know I barely ever use my phone for anything, since I was playing it so much. My sister even saw me playing it and bought it for herself, although I don’t know how much she’s played since then. 

For the sake of stats, I have 235 hours played of it on Steam alone, and in game I’m level 115. My most complete map is Monkey Meadow with all medals except CHIMPS, which I put the effort in because it’s the default map, and definitely not because it’s an easy/good map because it’s just kinda bad compared to so many other ones. My Dart monkey has a total of 4 million XP, and the only towers that haven’t crossed a million are the Ice, Heli, Alchemist, Druid, and Spike factory monkeys/tower. I think the farthest I’ve actually gotten round-wise is 200 once or twice, but I don’t remember if I’ve actually beaten that level and continued on or lost there. I think I might’ve gotten past it once, but just sort of lost interest in micro-managing my powers and let myself lose. I probably got there once after that and lost on it. As someone who didn’t look up the optimal strategies for things until very recently, I think that’s pretty good. It definitely feels like the kind of game where if you know the best strategies, you can literally just replicate that over and over and win really easily, but that just sounds kinda boring. Since I pretty much only do daily challenges nowadays, it forces me to use a limited amount of towers, so I either go much farther because it forces me to build up less towers more, or it makes sure I can’t even pass round 90 because it just was made to get you to round 40 and that’s it. When I have the full range of towers to use, I feel like I try to get the instant satisfaction of getting a new tower to increase DPS instead of making the few towers I have/need reach their full potential, which seems to be the better option. I also don’t really sell anything when I don’t have a limited number of monkeys to place, which I think is also a good strategy if you can eliminate the major money loss in it, since it can give you a massive boost in cash to get you the better upgrades quicker. I may or may not try to learn the strategies to wipe the rest of the game clean eventually, but right now I’m fine with just doing the dailies.

But yeah, that’s like the whole thing with Bloons Tower Defense and me. Something something reject modernity, embrace monke, or whatever the kids these days are saying.

I will say that if I didn’t have so many OCs to work with and could just pump out animated shorts on the reg, I’d love to do some sort of Bloons shorts. They’d all lean into the ridiculousness of it all. Like, the first one could do the 2001 thing with the monkeys learning to use sticks, and as the main one is bashing the ground with one or whatever and throws it up, an ancient, leathery patchwork bloon flies overhead and accidentally bumps the stick such that it lands back on the main monkey’s head, knocking him out. Cue the monkeys around him to go berserk and start throwing other sticks at the ancient bloon, and once they pop it using a sharp stick, they realize what they must do. Cue a long montage of the different stages of war and invention using the monkeys finding better ways to fend off the bloons, with the whole idea being that the monkeys are getting irrationally angry at the bloons, who are just sort of around and not actually sentient, even though they assume they’re malicious because of their history and upbringing. Absolutely no political message in there whatsoever. Just comedy.

Other short ideas could include, for the start of the modern time story, it could be the backstory of some sort of chiseled veteran main character, which would involve a bloon floating into his town, and from the people’s panic someone knocks over a lamp post that sets his town ablaze, only for him and his people to blame the carnage on the bloon, causing his classic edgy character motives for fighting against the bloons. Another, much more golden idea, would be an interrogation scene, where a bunch of monkeys capture a bunch of bloons for interrogation purposes. They’d obviously do the whole “Silent treatment, eh? Well, we have ways of making you talk...” thing, except the “way to make them talk” is to strap them to a wall with one dart guy on one side to systematically pop them to try and extract info. But, of course, it would look and play out exactly like the classic Bloons puzzle game. That’d be the fun part. If not that, then it could be like the classic carnival game that likely inspired the idea of using darts to pop balloons. I really just think this weird world of monkeys and bloons is perfect for some good comedic content. Watching the monkeys severely overreact to the bloons sounds extremely fun, and I’d love to see someone do something with it some day.

[reviewpri]

Will GoT and ASOIAF have the same ending? No- and here is why:

We’ve passed George and that’s something that George always worried about — the show catching up and ultimately passing him — but the good thing about us diverging at this point is that George’s books will still be a surprise for readers who have seen the show. Certain things that we learned from George way back in that meeting in Santa Fe are going to happen on the show, but certain things won’t. 

The whole thing “ the show ending will be the same for the main characters “is, basically, not true and both David Benioff and Dan Weiss admit it in this pre-season 8 interview with Time

They spend an inordinate amount of time in pulling emphasis to the fact that they “meticulously planned this for years″ ( and they contradict themselves by word and action many times over, without noticing it.)

Look at this exchange:

“How long does the writing process usually take?

WEISS: It’s hard to say with this one especially, because so much of the endgame is stuff that we’ve been discussing for at least four or five years, if not longer. So a lot of the pieces have been put on the board years ago. You could go back to season 2 and some of these ideas started to come out. But the actual writing process, when did we start doing the outlines?”

Weiss does not know exactly when they started discussing the “ endgame”, but he is sure you can come back to season 2 and see some ideas there, which of course does not add up, except if they were retconning the whole thing because as the conversation they had with GRRM at Santa Fé about the endgame, by their own admission, happened between 2013 (before season 4 in 2014)  HOW THE FUCK CAN THEY SAY THE IDEAS HAD BEEN IN PLACE IN 2012 when season 2 was filmed and aired??

So, when Bryan Cogman want us to go back to season 2- specifically- to see the seeds for Daenerys insanity, you can tell it is a retcon because they are specifically pinpointing to a time where they started changing canon Daenerys to be more “ badass” and decided to use this to gaslight us into believing they indeed mapped everything out when, as I showed, they did not.

Moreover, look at the answer Benioff gives to Weiss about their outlines:

“ I don’t know, because we started going over it back when we were shooting season 7. “

See? The story departs from the books by season 5, season 6 is almost completely uncharted territory, but they only started checking the outlines for the endgame as THEY WERE SHOOTING SEASON 7!!!

Okay, now that I proved they are retconning Daenerys journey to hype this false perception they understood ASOIAF (” it’s about people, and power, and the pursuit of power, and how that affects those without power. “ - that is true for the first book - Game of Thrones- but GRRM had planned the series to be a coming of age story, a saga of three different families and how the legacy of their patriarchs affect the children) and are true to the ending (” pretty much the actual endgame )  because, as I imagine, they wanted to shield themselves from any backlash as much as possible, let´s turn one moment to talk about how the changes they made prove that they switched from a character-driven story to a plot-driven story in the last four seasons- and how this made GoT ending a mess!

First, they have been changing the characters since season 1 to fit their ideas and the actors who would be playing the parts. Case in point: Cersei Lannister :

 “ ...for instance, when Lena Headey came in and did her audition for Cersei. And we’d seen a number of actresses before, very good actresses, but they were all playing the ice queen.”

David Benioff, I am sorry to tell you this but CERSEI IS THE FUCKING ICE QUEEN! That was how GRRM wrote the character- not as a mother slightly drunk from afternoon mimosas ( “ Lena came in and she was funny and she was weird “), but as a force of nature, a volcano of ambitions and resentments.

Kit Harington is good with action scenes and not so good as a political player? Let´s write Jon Snow as the best warrior there is, as a man without any ambition whatsoever!

Emilia Clarke is good at giving speeches and being a badass? Let´s give her plot with Qaith to Ser Jorah and have Daenerys kill people every single season ( Book!Dany never killed Dorea and Xaro)

Peter Dinklage is getting Emmy after Emmy playing soul tortured, but mostly good guy Tyrion? Let´s have him be the moral compass of the story, no matter if in the books, he is among the darkest of characters in an already dark series!

Second, they do not see the story progressing in terms of character´s arcs, but in terms of points, of scenes they know it will happen:

“There were some details that were added later — but pretty much the actual endgame, the main climactic moments, we had in mind then. “

See how Weiss mentions “moments” and do not say anything about “character´s endings?”

Ladies and gentlemen, that is because they can still have certain key scenes in the story, but played by different characters!

Remember Sansa?

Remember by the end of season 4, she walked down the stairs of The Eyrie, with a new visual identity that was signaling to us that her journey, from there on, would be one of her making? That her alliance with Littlefinger would either be mutual beneficial, or she would get rid of him?

Then...season 5 came and DnD decided to scrap that. Book!Sansa stays at the Vale trying to protect SweetRobin and preparing a Tourney while increasingly resenting Littlefinger´s involvement with her life to the point she starts having doubts.

DnD must have found this boring....despite setting the pieces for this. So, they ignored a character´s progression to the point- they made Sansa take a pill of stupidity, eat Littlefinger´s shit and agree to marry North!Joffrey - so that they could give  Sansa one of those “ main climatic moments”- the rape of Jeyne Poole by the hands of Ramsay as watched by Theon.

There you have it guys : DnD ending is just a myriad of scenes from GRRM books they know it will happen but played out by different characters because DnD wanted to make the ending “ theirs” somehow and they think we will only care about those  main climactic moments if they happen to the already established characters.

This is why there is not fAegon and no Jon Connington in the story.

That is why they split fAegon plots between Cersei ( Golden Company + rule of Kl) and Jon ( the whole legitimacy and claim to the Throne)

Jon Connington is the only book! character foreshadowed to burn a city to the ground because that is his main regret in life- that he had been unable to do that during the rebellion, a hesitation that allowed Robert Baratheon to escape and, eventually, kill the love of his life, Rhaegar.

Had they adapted fAegon storyline, they could have burnt KL the way it has been foreshadowed in the books- between Jon Connigton´s hatred of bells, Cersei Lannister love for wildfire and the second dance of dragons between Daenerys and fAegon.

But they did not.

Season 7 we knew they had a scene filmed with Cersei, the motherly type Cersei of the show, would have lost the only thing that made her act rationally for the first time of her life: a baby.

BUT...

“ I don’t know, because we started going over it back when we were shooting season 7 “

They went over and probably realized what they could do with season 8 if they just ignored the foreshadowing they were setting about a war between two diametrical opposed queens:

Daenerys, the Bride of Fire, pregnant and happy with Jon, against Cersei, Ice Queen, miserable and barren.

This war would, of course only make thematic sense if this dynamic would play out, one player afraid of losing and the other, having nothing to lose.

They filmed the scene. The scene which would explain perfectly well why Cersei would become mad and try to burn the city so nobody would have it- and fulfill the Valonqar prophecy- but they scrapped.

The Throne scene between Daenerys and Jon makes sense...if it is between Cersei and Jaime.

and no, the vision of Daenerys at the second season- the one they now claim to have been “ all planned” despite the fact they had NO IDEA how it would play out before the end of season 3- had been ALREADY FULFILLED BY SEASON 7, with Daenerys choosing not to touch the Throne, which was covered in snow (Jon) but going North, beyond the Wall, with her dragons.

But, again, by their own admission, they looked back and realized...there was this amazing moment they could give to Emilia in the show and the only way they could explain this would be by retroactively stating the changes they made, by their own accord before they knew the endgame, had actually been, all this time, THEIR GENIUS MASTERPLAN.

Am I saying GRRM ending will be better? No...I am just explaining why you should not assume this mess came out from his butt because it came out of DnD´s butt.

(and yes, after all those cock jokes, I feel completely fine by ending this very serious meta with a butt joke.)

[forestcump]

Gentrification and The Last Black Man In San Francisco

Heres a blog I wrote lol

Joe Talbot’s The Last Black Man in San Francisco is a tale told of the heartbreaking wave of culture-annihilating gentrification that has hit one of America’s iconic metropoles. It’s sloping streets, angular row houses, and quirky residents have made it a place of myth emboldened further by its key role in radical social movements such as the Anti-War Movement, The Black Panther Party, etc. But, the story Talbot tells doesn't reflect on the history known by most (white) Americans. Instead, he tells the story of the black man in San Francisco and all of the culture that gentrification is, successfully, trying to wipe away. 

The film’s protagonist, Jimmie Failes IV, and his best friend, Montgomery Allen, take it upon themselves to maintain the house that Jimmie grew up in. The rub of the whole thing though is that neither Mont or Jimmie live there, in fact, this older Yuppie (stands for: Young, Urban Professional) couple are the owners of the property. In one of the first scenes, Jimmie is repainting the window sill in the front of the house and the woman who owns the house threatens to call the police, which is quickly met by her apologetic husband. This struck me as funny because it perfectly represents both sides of the well-meaning, affluent, white person that have become the principal population group in the city. On one side, these new folks are tired of locals giving them shit and not caring about them or their cool publishing jobs; and on the other they won’t call the cops to avoid the risk of being “like” other White people. Although humorous, this scene is a haunting reminder to viewers who are themselves victims of gentrification that this is what the final stages of the process look like. Neighborhoods once teeming with ethnic influence, devoid of the blandness of White America, have now been transformed into pricey and bland versions of the suburbs where these damn people come from. 

The role of race is also very present in this film as it does a great job establishing the symbolic gravity that happens whenever Jimmie or Mont are on the screen. This becomes especially clear when the film returns to where Jimmie and Mont actually live, which is the far-off borough of Bayview-Hunters Point. This area plays just as key a role as the decadent Victorian house that Jimmie longs for, as it establishes the result of when a cities inhabitants are priced out of not just their homes but their impact on the cities culture. In this part of the map, there are a group of local men who spend their days busting the balls of any and everybody that come their way. This group acts as Greek Chorus which provides commentary and atmosphere to scenes where Jimmie and Mont seem to be singularly focused on the old Victorian. Another character that stood out to me was a Preacher who stands on a milk crate and preaches to these men, and anybody walking past, about the insane levels of inequality that have pushed Black people so far from the city. In one scene, the Preacher is railing against this mysterious cohort of men wearing hazmat suits cleaning some sort of chemical spill in the Bay right behind where the Preacher is standing. “Why are they wearing suits and we’re not? What are they not telling us?” he roars atop his milk crate to the attention of, uh, nobody that’s listening. 

The imagery of this movie, which includes the Chorus and The Preacher, speak to the San Francisco that is fading away fast. Another image that stands out is a scene where Jimmie is waiting at a bus stop next to a nudist and they are both accosted by a party bus full of inebriated Yuppies. They roar and cackle at the sight of the nudist and proclaim him “the fuckin’ man!”, but fail to realize they’re role in the extermination of people like the nudist. Jimmie and this nude man sit silently in shared exhaustion of this wave of people storming they’re city, despite their best efforts to “be cool”, the city is dying with each yoga studio and salad bar that opens. 

Although my experience as a straight, white man has no comparison to the struggles of POC and LGBTQIA+ communities in this country, I do share the same feeling of being exiled from your own home. I grew up in Hoboken, New Jersey which has now turned into a hot bed for gentrifiers who desire to work in New York. This is yet another iconic American metropole that has had it’s soul stamped out by the wave of suburbanites who feel it is their right to claim the city as their own. This is seen, mostly, in the cost of housing and cost of living which has skyrocketed as a result of the wave of private equity money that flooded the city and whose tentacles have reached nearly every industry you could imagine. Hoboken was once a working class town that had its fair share of racial tension, as any town in this country, but it always remained genuinely Hoboken, until the real estate developers came. Wharfs and warehouses that once played a key role in the American economy were demolished and turned into apartment complexes. This obviously brought more money into the community, but soon the locals that made Hoboken were being pushed out further and further. For instance, my mother and I lived in one apartment for my entire childhood until the end of middle school but the rent got raised and we were forced to move to Jersey City. In high school, I spent most of my free time in Hoboken because that’s where my friends were but everytime the party was over and my friends walked back to their childhood homes, I had to walk across the city to the train station to get back to my new home. I felt displaced and lonely for most of my high school days as I grappled with the harsh realities of gentrification and the brutality of capitalism. It also did not help that my mother was laid off from her job in 2009 and was essentially job-less for five years. 

My childhood home was sold to a young couple from somewhere that they turned into some trendy little spot for them to live for the time being. No care was given to the memories I made there or the progress that my mother made as a single mom raising a child in this area, just a cold “Sorry, thanks for cleaning it before you left”. The coldness of gentrification is the most galling result of this phenomenon. The young people move in and immediately lust for making their mark; whether it be calling the police or 311 on locals loitering on the streets, or building breweries in old school buildings, etc. Business' that I grew up walking by every day became boarded up and replaced with hair salons and boutiques that were going to close in six months anyway. But, despite the spirit that lives in places like Hoboken, San Francisco, New York, or Boston; money always seems to win.

Watching “The Last Black Man in San Francisco” gave me a strange sense of hope because it showed me how to defend your home, even when the odds are terribly stacked against you. There was a scene at the end of the movie where Jimmie Failes is sitting on the bus and overhears these two Yuppie women shitting on San Francisco and talking about much they “hate it here”. Jimmie turns to them and tells them “you don't get to hate it unless you love it”, which doesn’t make an impact on the women, but it made an impact on me and many others who have seen the movie. Hearing transplants bitch and moan about how shitty the New York subway is or complaining about the cat that lives in the bodega makes me laugh when it used to make me sad, because I know that the city has won. What I mean by that, is that when you hear Yuppies complain about the community they’ve gentrified it's clear that they’ve failed to make “the city their own” and have succumbed to the community that was already there. Cities are magical places that are the center for so many things, but what truly makes them magical are the people that built them, whether it be physically or spiritually. So, I hope to embody the spirit of Jimmie and Mont as fierce defenders of their homes even when it doesnt even seem worth it to fight for it anymore. 

[wittyy-name]

Hey, Wittyy, do you have any tips on planning a dnd campaign? Especially as a first timer. Advice? Lifehacks? Warnings? (to clarify first timer, i know a lot about dnd and even read some worldbuilding guides but I'm not sure if they're working for me, maybe you have a little different, unique approach to planning process?)

This ended up being a very long post about me rambling about my experience world building my first campaign, so I’m just gonna slap it under a cut lol

Idk how much advice I can give?? I’m running my first long term campaign and kinda just flying by the seat of my pants at this point. World building is a PAIN and it can be hella frustrating, but it’s also kinda rewarding?? And I have experience with it from writing stories that definitely helped.

I built a world from scratch, which is a first for our dnd group. We’ve done a campaign in Skyrim, and we’re also doing a campaign in the Witcher universe. Mine is the first where the players can’t just google world info, which I like a lot. 

My campaign started with an idea of having a party of bards. And I wanted them to have a REASON to stay together. Not just the typical dnd “we’re together bc why not”. I wanted them to KNOW each other but still have secrets to hide?? So it wasn’t just strangers?? So THAT was my starting point. And I asked myself, how do I make that happen? So I had the idea that they all have to start bard level 1. They were in a band for a year together, but then they broke up. They haven’t seen each other in five years. ALL of them have gone through hell and back ((bc what’s dnd without tragic backstories??)). They’re level 4 now, and they got to multiclass into whatever they wanted to. So they’re forced back together through circumstance, and they’re stuck in this party of people they used to know but are now so different. 

My goal for my group was simple: I wanted a story where every player feels like the main character. I wanted them to have their own secrets and quests and things to figure out and pursue. I wanted each and every person to feel like they’re leading the group. Everyone to feel important. So I had several brainstorming talks with each of my players. I figured out what they wanted to play, and ideas they had, and then we expanded on them and build up their characters together (bc it’s easier when you have a dm to build with you). Another goal I had was to give everyone a personal rp challenge. Which is unique to the player. It’s mean to help them build up some of their weaknesses and gently guide them out of their comfort zones. 

So now I have six players with crazy unique and complicated backstories. They all have secrets and weird quirks. They all have goals to pursue and things to keep from the others. And most of them have aspects of their backstories that THEY dont’ even know. Missing memories, secret bloodlines, unknown curses. This is really important to ME. Since these are secrets even from the players, they get to learn surprising new things about their characters as the campaign goes on. Even THEY don’t know everything about themselves, and that’s exciting to them. It means more work for me as a dm, but it’s worth it for them. 

This was an important factor for me in planning my campaign because my group plays online. With online dnd, it’s harder to keep engaged. When you’re not in person and you can’t feed off the energy, it can be easy to lose focus. I noticed that from previous campaigns, and I tried to come up with ways to help it. What I came up with was this: the best way to keep online players engaged is to make them invested in their characters. Simple, yeah? By having complex characters that they put so much into, they love those characters, and thus love playing them. By giving them an rp challenge specifically suited to them, it forces them to pay attention, to constantly be in the mind of their character so they can consider how that character would act and react at any given time. By giving them individual goals to pursue, they’re constantly trying to figure shit out. By keeping aspects of their characters unknown, it gives them a feeling of excited anticipation. All these things help keep them engaged and locked into their character’s minds, which makes the whole experience a lot of fun. 

As for the WORLD, I kinda just... figured out an aesthetic that I thought was cool and tried to run with it?? I don’t remember how I got to this idea, but I thought the feywild was cool, so I said “what if something cataclysmic happened and the material plane and feywild are now mixed together and people have adapted to living with a constant fey presence?? And then one night I was almost asleep when I thought of SKY SHIPS and FLOATING ISLANDS. So I said “what if a lot of the material plane races raised sky cities to get away from the fey threat on the surface??” And so I had my aesthetic for the world, I just needed specifics. 

I thought “well, if there were old kingdoms before the Cataclysm, how would they have been affected when the planes merged??” So coming up with an old political climate, and how things have changed since. How the surface and the sky cities function now. Where do all the races fit into this map? Into this world? The feywild and Material Plane are only two of the three mirror planes, how does this affect the Shadowfell? Okay, the shadowfell is starting to leak through the thin veil and we have pockets of shadow portals that are becoming worse and worse as the centuries go by. 

I had the area where the Cataclysm happened, but what happened there? This was admittedly the hardest part, and I got a huge writers block here, but I figured it out. What society lived there. The magic they used. How shit went wrong and they merged the planes. 

What gods exist in this world? Well, I picked a single pantheon in the dnd handbook and said “these are the gods” bc I didn’t want to incorporate ALL of them. But the idea of this pantheon was that there was no afterlife, which started play into ideas I had for the lost city that started the cataclysm. And it kinda all started to come together. 

The whole time I was building the world and history, I kept my character’s backstories in mind. I wanted all of them to be important SOME HOW. All of their importance differs. But I wanted them all to be tied to big world big picture things SOMEHOW. So they could all feel chosen, in a way. 

But the best part?? This is an open world campaign. There are things in the world that are happening, and they’ll happen with or without the party’s interference. But their interference can cause domino affects in world events. I didn’t want to set my party on ONE QUESTLINE. I wanted them to CHOOSE. So I slapped them down in a town, got them used to their characters, and now they’re out of the “starter zone” so to speak. They can choose where to go. What ideas to pursue. They all have driven backstories, so it’s interesting to see who kinda pushes theirs to the front of the agenda. And there is no Good and Evil. I wanted a whole world of gray area. So the party’s opinions of world events will probably change depending on who’s backstory they follow first. Who they meet first can shape how they think and what side they get on. Which is super exciting. The whole campaign is malleable and the party has free rein. In fact, they can choose to never interact with world events and just do small time fuckery quests. It’s all up to them. But shit will be happening and the world changing. And it’s exciting to see where they get to go.It’s a very character and roleplay driven campaign, which is what we all wanted. And seeing them so invested in characters is so nice. Seeing them love my world is great. And knowing what I have in store for them is exciting. 

I know this isn’t so much TIPs as me just rambling about my experience, but maybe it’ll help??The best actual advice for building the world... come up with an aesthetic you want and the goal for your campaign. Those are your keystones. Now ask yourself why? How? Where? Who? You want a king to be insane? OKay, why? You want there to be a world that’s mostly water with ship travel? Okay, what’s the history? How have the people adapted to this world? How are cities constructed and what social constructs come about in a mostly ship/water based world? 

I can give you some specific examples from my campaign about how I designed social constructs for different societies if you want, but I feel like I’ve rambled enough for one post lol. Good luck!

[aion-rsa]

Ghost of Tsushima Review: A Beautiful Homage to Akira Kurosawa

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Ghost of Tsushima is a daring departure for Sucker Punch, who since 2009 has worked solely on the Playstation-exclusive Infamous series. While those games were steeped in modernity, offering sprawling cityscapes players could explore from top to bottom via superpowered “conduits” Cole MacGrath and Delsin Rowe, Ghost of Tsushima’s open world is set in feudal Japan. It’s here that we meet young samurai Jin Sakai, who must defend his homeland, the titular island of Tsushima, from an invading Mongol army.

Right off the bat, the shift in time period and milieu to 13th century Japan is notable because Sucker Punch handles it so brilliantly, especially for the team’s first foray into the samurai genre. Japanese history and culture are woven into every single facet of the game so elegantly and organically that you’d think the team had been developing games set in feudal Japan for the past decade, not sci-fi superhero romps. More than anything, Ghost of Tsushima is a moving homage to Japan, its history, and its people.

The story opens with a massacre. A massive Mongol army, led by the cunning Khotun Khan, storms the beaches of Tsushima and is met by the island’s woefully outnumbered samurai contingent. When the leader of the samurai challenges Khotun to a one-on-one, fair fight, the Khan renounces the honorable gesture in gruesome fashion, literally setting the courageous samurai on fire in front of both armies. The rest of the samurai are obliterated on the beach, while Jin’s uncle, Lord Shimura, is taken prisoner by the Khan. Jin is also fatally wounded but is miraculously nursed back to health by a new ally, a thief named Yuna who needs his help in return.

These opening moments set the tone for the rest of the game. The philosophical conflict between honor and deception is the beating heart of the story and permeates the gameplay in riveting ways. As you fight to take back Tsushima from the Mongols, you can approach enemy encounters in two ways. You can choose to fight honorably, like a true samurai, and challenge enemies to a “standoff,” a quick-reflex mini-game of sorts in which you and one of the baddies face off one-on-one and see who flinches first before one of you slashes his blade through the other. You’ll then have to take on the rest of the enemies all at once, which is no easy task.

The other option is to fight like a “Ghost,” sneaking into enemy camps, killing the bad guys in their sleep, poisoning them, using intimidation tactics to scare them into fleeing battle. It’s an effective way of evening the odds between you and your foes, but it rails against everything the samurai stand for.

Countless games offer the player the option to approach combat either stealthily or head-on. This is far from a novel concept, and in this respect, the combat in Ghost of Tsushima offers little innovation. But what is innovative here is how Sucker Punch has taken the classic device of stealth vs. frontal assault and given it new life by expertly integrating it with the themes of the story.

Jin meets a handful of allies on his journey, each with their own multi-chapter story arcs that delve into their respective backstories. There’s sensei Ishikawa, a master archer whose protege has gone rogue and joined the Mongols. Lady Masako is a warrior and grandmother whose entire family was murdered by the Mongols, though she suspects they may have died after someone close to the family conspired with the enemy.

Each of the characters explores the honor vs. dishonor theme in unique and surprising ways. The dichotomy is most starkly represented in the clash of ideals between Lord Shimura, who is unshakably honorable and would rather die than gain an unfair advantage in battle, and Yuna, who understands that, to beat an enemy who fights dirty, you may have to put honor to the side for the sake of saving your people. Of course, Jin is caught in the middle and struggles to decide what kind of man he wants to be.

Aside from the ties to the story, the gameplay is fun and engaging. The swordplay combines parries and dodging with a more strategic approach to melee, as you try to find ways to build up your enemy’s stagger gauge. You can also use “ghost weapons” to give you an edge in battle, like kunai (throwing knives), smoke bombs, arrows, and more. There are also four stances to master, with each being effective against a different enemy type. Switching between stances is integral to combat and becomes second nature over time. There’s also an insanely cool fifth stance that I won’t spoil here, but it’s spectacularly badass.

Stealthing is strikingly similar to what you’d see in an Assassin’s Creed title (this is a compliment), and the game gives you myriad ways to kill enemies without raising alarms, like throwable wind chimes and firecrackers that allow you to manipulate their positioning or hallucinogenic darts that turn them against each other. Again, this is all stuff we’ve seen before, but it’s pulled off well here.

Release Date: July 17, 2020 Platform: PS4 Developer: Sucker Punch Productions Publisher: Sony Interactive Entertainment Genre: Action-adventure

Unfortunately, there are little gameplay flaws that needled at me, especially in the later hours of my playthrough (it took me around 45 hours to finish the game). The swordplay requires quick reflexes, and mastering parries and dodging is absolutely pivotal to your survival. The problem with the swordplay is subtle, and a little difficult to explain, but I’ll say it like this: in most games that are particularly challenging, when I die, I feel like it was my fault because I made a mistake, I just wasn’t fast enough, I hadn’t mastered certain skills. But on many occasions in Ghost of Tsushima, I felt like I died because the game didn’t give me a fair shot, like it was the game’s fault that I failed, not mine. It’s possible that I just wasn’t very good at the game, but it felt at times like I wasn’t given a choice in the matter. Your mileage will vary with the game’s difficulty level.

There are other things that bugged me, too, like the unreliable climbing mechanics (I swear, sometimes hopping onto a rope or branch that’s literally right in front of you is way, WAY too difficult). But overall, I had a great time playing the game and felt super powerful by the time I’d filled out my skill trees, which is no surprise considering the game was made by the same folks who made Infamous.

On a nuts and bolts gameplay level, Ghost of Tsushima doesn’t feel all that unique — there is some very familiar open-world stuff here. But on a presentation and storytelling level, the game is out-of-this-world amazing. Visually, the game looks stunning. The late-stage PlayStation 4 graphics really deliver, and coupled with the strength of the art design, Ghost of Tsushima is a true head-turner. The character models look fantastic and can emote on a level that supports the drama of the story. And while the different suits of armor that Jin acquires offer unique gameplay perks, I honestly just collected and upgraded them almost exclusively as an aesthetic indulgence. They look so freaking cool.

But the real stars of the show are the environments, which look picturesque from every conceivable angle. The wind-swept, verdant hills of Tsushima are intoxicatingly pretty, to the point where I’d get caught up ogling for minutes on end at the smallest of details, like the way the moonlight bounces off blades of grass or the way Jin kicks up crimson-red leaves that have blanketed the ground over time. I could go on forever about the dynamic day/night cycle, the beautiful rendering of different fabrics and materials, the horse animations. But instead, I’ll just say that this is the most breathtaking game, visually, that I’ve seen in recent memory.

A lot of love also went into infusing the game with Japanese cultural references, particularly in how the developers pay homage to the samurai genre. Each mission, for example, is bookended by cinematic intertitles that evoke old samurai cinema, Japanese characters, and all. But without a doubt, the most obvious/most amazing homage is “Kurosawa Mode,” which presents the game in black and white, with one of the best film grain filters I’ve ever seen in a game, resulting in an experience that looks almost exactly like a film from the iconic Japanese auteur’s oeuvre, right next to Sanjuro and Seven Samurai. If you’re a long-time fan of Kurosawa, turning the mode on may even elicit an “I’m not crying…you’re crying!” response — it’s that pretty.

I initially intended on playing the entire game in Kurosawa mode but quickly realized that it would be problematic to do so for a few reasons. Some missions require you to “follow the (insert color) flowers,” which is obviously impossible in black and white. And in combat, blockable enemy heavy attacks are signaled by a blue glint, while unblockable ones have a red glint. Combat is tough enough as it is, so…yeah. I only turned the mode on when I was riding on my horse through the countryside and I felt like treating myself to some eye candy.

Taking time to smell the cherry blossoms and have a respite from the game’s many missions and side missions is crucial because Ghost of Tsushima is a long, long game. The missions aren’t overly repetitive — most of them feel really special actually, like when you climb a mountain in freezing cold weather and must race from campfire to campfire on your ascent, or one armor quest comprised of several one-on-one duels with straw hat swordsmen scattered about the map, each with a distinct personality. But 40-plus hours is 40-plus hours, and while the main tasks of infiltrating enemy camps, liberating farms, and searching for special gear can lead to questing fatigue at the tail end of the game, the nice thing is is that you can always slow things down and just enjoy the scenery to break things up. There’s even a nifty photo mode to play with, and if any game warrants a photo mode, it’s this one.

Jin’s story isn’t just a means to an end, or a lazy excuse to drag the player from gameplay scenario to gameplay scenario. The story is incredibly well written and profound in its messaging and imagery, so much so that I believe it’s one of the best modern entries in the samurai genre, regardless of medium. All of the characters you meet and the little tales that unfold across Tsushima are filtered through Jin’s inner struggle with what honor really means and whether or not it’s worth dying for, which gives the story an incredibly strong narrative backbone. Despite the game’s epic scope, Jin’s journey actually feels quite intimate and personal. The same could be said of Kurosawa’s best work, and that’s just about the highest compliment I can give.

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[borderlandscast]

what happens when you let a bunch of vault hunters loose in digart (aka, virtual reality minecraft)

vox downloaded the game at the request of panda, who needed to prove to teep that the game has undergone massive updates and is now capable of supporting custom mods and excessive cheating.

within an hour, the two broke the server from spawning far too many bosses so that they could do a nonstop boss rush and update teep’s achievements.

vox rebooted the server and put a restriction on the amount of bosses that could be spawned in a single world and space.

this didn’t stop panda and teep from making pocket dimensions and fighting the bosses one by one, making the game lag horribly, and vox gave up on stopping them because they kept finding loopholes.

this leads into vox making their own avatar and joining the two on their never-ending quest to subjugate each world. if they can’t stop them, then join them.

panda and teep generally explore brand new worlds, and are usually the first to chart said worlds since they cheated in all their equipment and skills. vox shrugged and let it happen so they could explore with them faster. the two rock up into town to drop off maps, loot and materials before heading off again. they’re considered founding figures.

honeydew joins (from the grass room) to put down his roots, and begins a miniature spawn hub town. he names it ‘digfarts’ and it becomes a permanent fixture on the server. he’s the mayor thanks to self voting.

curious about why honeydew is spending so much time in the grass room instead of making them coffee, xephos logs in and begins a bee factory on the outskirts of digfarts. they accidentally breed a type of extreme killer bee which kills players and has to be confined in a massive sphere. otherwise, the bees produce honey, beeswax and other assorted products used in the market, magic or as trading.

players who break the rules are subjected to the ‘bee farts’ (xephos was against the naming but honeydew won by majority vote). the bees cause hallucinations, tingles and the heebee jeebies. remember that this is in vr. good, now wonder why nobody ever breaks the rules.

the bridge and frigate crews start a town market, and run their own supply chain and exploration crews. each of them have their own gangs, motifs and specialities. they’re all very into the game, and plan their shifts accordingly so they can log in.

daltos starts a cheese cult, ‘the cheesers’, monopolizing all production and selling of cheese. weirdly, he and his cult encourage the consumption of cheese. all registered, owned and named cows must pay a milk tax to the cult so that more cheese can be made. people who break this law have their whole house filled with cheese.

zylus and rythian become tower wizards. they look after the tainted zones and research magic; rythian eventually goes ‘insane’ and constantly needs guarding against the phantoms and weirdness that happens to him whenever he logs in. zylus can cast almost every single spell and is undefeated in pvp. his only weakness is ironically, cheese, thanks to shenanigans. touching cheese robs him of his powers. he has a deal with daltos so daltos doesn’t take advantage of this. in return, zylus has to buy weekly cheese from him or daltos will tell everyone and zylus has to reset to get a different weakness. and no, zylus hasn’t realised.

nanosounds and ravs become the ‘buff hooligans’ (a rejected nickname for the foursome ravs was previously involved in), and run around killing things for the wizards, people, and protect the wizards from themselves.

nilesy runs a cat museum. he collects anything cat related, and also cats. it took him two weeks to build the whole thing, and it’s always expanding. minecarts are needed to tour all fifteen sections. he also runs a fishing business.

hatfilms run an honest exploration and needs club (‘the thumb of truth’), and provide a lot of the fuel from oil, grease and energy deposits found all over the world. they have a contract with the cheesers, wizards, digfart’s mayor, etc. you name it, they’ll get it, for a price. the only thing they don’t traffic is bees. that’s...a sore topic for them. each of them specialise in certain areas, trott being the engineer, contractor and main cultist, alsmiffy in beasts, magic and tomfoolery and ross in materials and building. hollie is the ever patient receptionist of this venture.

will strife and parvis manufacture weapons, guns, somehow, and also, missile launchers. after accidentally nuking digfarts twice on two separate occasions, honeydew forces the two to put everything that could wipe the server into a secure and hidden vault. needless to say, strife installed an emergency backdoor, just in case the server ever needs to ensure a winning side. parvis is the key. he doesn’t know it.

zoeya and saberial logged in briefly to build an island as a monument to their eternal love. it has since become a protected zone for unicorns, neutral and friendly mobs. nobody is allowed to touch it or risk bee farts. the island is shaped like ravs the rooster. it’s also populated by special chickens. said chickens lay precious metals and materials. only a few parties have a permit gather the goods. there’s a real art to breeding the chickens; zoeya and saberial did not wisely pass this knowledge on to anyone. except for one person: arsenal.

chicken smuggling is a real crime in digfarts. the fine is a in-game week’s confinement in the bee fart sphere, plus a handwritten letter of apology to every single other player on the server for disappointing them and a pledge of loyalty to the poor chicken/s to protect them for life from any harm and neglect. killing a chicken results in a softban and a townwide funeral procession. killing multiple chickens is a permanent ban.

lalna and lalnable dabble in mad science, and for once, the two get along. they accidentally clone one another, forget to lock the doors and have to slaughter their runaway clones. the scene caused an investigation done by the thumb of truth and an official hearing. cloning isn’t against digfart’s laws, so lalna and lalnable clone everyone and preserve the bodies underground posed in entertaining dioramas. they charge five gold ingots for the tour, and a chest full of diamonds for a specific one to be constructed.

vox and their siblings build a giant monument to bebopvox. it goes as high as the sky and is perfectly symmetrical from top to bottom. they harvested materials and built it without hiring anyone, a testament to their diligence and determination. they even applied early for the building and statue permit. honeydew was unsettled when they all visited at once to seek the permit. this was because they all wore the same skin, just in different colours. only larry robert spoke. the rest stared at honeydew. it’s hard to say ‘no’ to that.

fyreuk run a history tavern, which charts the development and founding of digfarts and notable town achivements. they keep it up to date, and in exchange for music discs, will write ballads to honour said achievements.

lomadia logs in when nobody is on the server, and moves a single object to the left by one space, or switches items around, or leaves signs saying ‘i know what you did’, etc. so far, everyone is convinced that the server is haunted. vox pretends not to know about it.

martyn and minty run law enforcement, and swagger around town keeping the whole place in order. they have their fingers in every pie. their motto is ‘you do the crime, you do the time’ which is cheesy as hell but they’re actually pretty good at their job. they talk to vox to arrange trials and how long a ban should last if someone breaks the law multiple times.

sherlock refuses to join the server because he knows that people will bully him into playing their secretary, treasurer, errand boy, etc. he has a secret identity though, and logs in as ‘hulmes’. people play along with his pretend investigations since he actually writes pretty good newspaper articles as a result. fyreuk collect said articles too.

larry robert and their siblings are builders; the thumb of truth usually hires them to build things. the reason why larry robert and co can’t be left alone to build is beause they’ll keep building and never stop until it’s done. they crafted the entire road and railway system in one night, which sparked riots and fights due to everything needing names, all at once. honeydew put the permits into place as a result, which states that ‘only one party can build at any given time, and it can be completed at one’s leisure and has to be realistic so that fyreuk doesn’t cry over piecing the timeline together’.

bebopvox isn’t allowed on the server due to their irl identity but that doesn’t stop their kids sending them updates. the street surrounding te statue of them is called ‘ridge avenue.’

arsenal has to have someone watching him whenever he logs in since he has ‘the devil’s hands’. he runs a monthly auction house. he auctions off especially rare materials and custom goods needing a new owner. more importantly though, he’s the only official party who can sell the special chickens, which means that his auctions are a big event that nobody wants to miss.

the bloody bandits operate as blacksmiths attached to strife and parvis’ business. they’re expert miners, and for some reason, also operate the local cemetary. they note down how many times someone has died, and update the headstones. the cloning business caused a real hang-up as none of them could agree what to name the clones of lalna and lalnable.

i know i left some people out but the server is limited to frigate peeps to stop breaches into vox’s systems since the whole server relies so heavily on vox. there’s been jokes that they’re all playing in vox’s brain...which isn’t actually that far off the mark.

vox devotes quite a bit of processing power into maintaining and keeping the whole thing running smoothly. they’re unusually fond of what the frigate created, which possibly explains why any henious world breakage is treated as a in-game crime and punished accordingly.