#because the maddest thing he could have possibly done is love

[ren-or-rin]

So. Listening to Malevolent episode 28 and I am losing my goddamned mind [SPOILERS AHEAD]:

CAN WE TALK ANOUT THE PARALLELS BETWEEN LILLY’S DEATH IN PART 20 AND ARTHUR’S NEAR-DEATH HERE?

AND JOHN’S RESPONSE?

There’s something about the way John, try as he might, still doesn’t entirely understand how mortal bodies work, how he knows how to harm but knows so little on how to heal. John, and his stubborn refusal to let his loved ones die, his willingness to do anything to save them. John who loves so much more than he thinks he does.

[webslingingslasher]

29 and 26… make me hurt i know you can do it 🥲

based on this prompt list

Peter has never made you cry. 

Ever. 

Not even when you were the maddest at him, not even when he would snap at you when he dozed off in class after being up all night, not when he canceled plans six times in a row with you, not ever. 

In fact, Peter had done everything possible to keep you from crying, he would pull funny faces, his go to was to stick his index fingers in his mouth and pull the corners of his mouth for a cheesy grin. He would dance for you, and it always made you laugh because Peter was good at everything, except dancing. 

He has always shown you love and care so deeply how couldn’t you fall in love? 

And how could you not think he loves you too? 

Because he always cuddles close to you, always kisses your cheek when he hasn’t seen you in a while or you do something good, he could pull you in with an arm over your shoulder and press four or five kisses in a row only pulling away when you can’t stop laughing and beg for breath. Peter would hold your hand while you jumped over a puddle, he would always give your first bite of ice cream or a milkshake, he would throw his gloves at you whenever you forget yours, he showed you love and care. 

How could he not mean it? 

“Can I tell you something?” 

“Of course, what’s up?” 

Peter turned from his game, you had been doing some reading while he played with some online friends, it was domestic things like this that told you it was mutual. You both hung out for a while then wanted to do separate things so you parted while in the same room, that’s what couples did, right? 

“I have to tell you something I’ve been thinking about for a while, like a long while.” 

“It sounds important, is it?” He was asking if he should stop his game and give you his enitre attention. 

“Yeah actually, pretty important.” You let out an anxious laugh. 

You weren't that nervous, you knew what he would say. It was obvious you were both thinking the same thing.  

Peter pulls from his game, takes off his headset and spins so he’s facing you. 

“All eyes on you, dear.” 

You smile, you wonder why you were nervous. 

“I’ve been scared to bring this up but I think we’re on the same page, I mean, actually I know we are.” 

Peter nods slowly, he doesn’t see where this is going yet. 

“I feel it every time we hang out or when you kiss me on the cheek, and when you dance badly to make me feel better and every time you make me feel not so alone in this big world.” 

Peter’s eyes widen, he sees where this is going. He wants to shut it down before you embarrass yourself. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Let’s slow it down, Y/N,” 

“No! Cause we need to talk about it, I know you feel it too. I know you do, I see it in your eyes and I feel it when we hug. I know you know what I mean.” 

Peter winces, he wants you to stop. He doesn’t feel the same at all, he’s just your best friend. He’s always been your best friend, and only your best friend. He knows he’s touchy and loose around you but that’s because he’s known you for years. 

“Y/N, stop.” 

“Seriously, Peter. I think I just need to say this, I,” 

“Y/N, I don’t want you to embarrass yourself, seriously. You should stop.” 

You turn your head confused, “Peter, I’m falling for you.” 

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, he blows a heavy breath through his nose, he stays silent. He didn’t want to hear it, he didn’t want to know it was true. He always kind of guessed it but always hoped you would never admit it, he wishes you would’ve kept it inside forever until he dated someone and you eventually move on. 

“Peter?” 

He doesn’t move, he doesn’t say anything. 

“Peter?” Your voice cracks. 

“Peter!” You shout the words, tears coming to your eyes. 

How could you have read the signs wrong, he always acted like he loved you as much as you did. 

He was ruining this, he was supposed to say yes, say me too, say i earn for you, anything, he was supposed to say anything. 

“Peter, c’mon.” You sniffle, a tear drops. 

You shudder, he’s never made you cry. 

“Peter, please. Please, Peter.” Tears flowing heavily, breaths unsteady, you reach for the door. 

You sent out one last request. 

“Please… Say something,” 

He doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak, he doesn’t even look at you. He’s ghosting you in real time, you were watching him ignore you, he was pretending you weren’t even here. 

When he stays unmoving you’re unsure you’ll ever hear from him again. 

You try once more. 

“Peter?” 

You wait, then shut the door. 

Tears never stopped. 

[doctorreids]

folklore - spencer reid x reader

CHAPTER THREE - the last great american dynasty 

previous chapter | next chapter 

word count - 1,494

a/n: sorry this is so late and so short! life has been weirdly busy the past week but i’m going to try and get back into writing again, writer’s block is killing me a bit. hope this is ok - i’m honestly not too sure about this chapter :/

“there goes the maddest this town has ever seen, she had a marvellous time ruining everything.”

It had been one week since he walked out of her apartment, the echo of the door closing still reverberating through her home.

She was tired. Work was strenuous, to say the least, Hotch having to avoid pairing the two of them together, they could barely look at one another. Having to explain to your unit chief that the relationship they swore wouldn’t get in the way of work ended bitterly was, to put it simply, embarrassing. Hotch said little, just offered her a sad smile when he noticed how rundown she was and asked if she needed a few personal days.

Both of them refused to take time off.

Morgan had to beg Garcia to not say anything, to either of them, which was easier said than done for her but she watched with despair as her friends slowly became shells of people. Emily and JJ had held her the whole weekend, letting her cry her heart out.

By the end of the week, every member of the team was exhausted by the dark cloud that surrounded them both. So, naturally, Garcia suggested they go out for drinks and invite some of her friends. Surprisingly, she was all for it - all she wanted to do was to drown her sorrows in alcohol. She just wanted to forget.

Forget his touch. Forget his smile. Forget his voice. For just one night.

Emily was worried about her. She watched as her friend got herself ready, copious amounts of concealer to cover up her lack of sleep and the sexiest thing she owned. Emily was pretty sure she hadn’t worn that dress since college, it was evident in the way she kept pulling them down every time she stood up. The large glass of rose that sat on her vanity table was nearly gone by the time she’d finished putting on her makeup and fixing her hair.

Garcia and Emily had to keep a watchful eye over her, both of them only sipping slightly on their Gin and Tonics every once in a while. JJ was busy with Henry and promised she’d join them later. Emily and Garcia both knew it was because Spencer was babysitting Henry that night.

They were torn between them both. JJ and Spencer were inseparable but she had found a close friend in Y/N. Emily and Y/N shared a bond so special not even Morgan and Garcia could match it but she cared for Spencer too - she knew them both too well and it did more than just hurt to see them this pained.

Garcia, on the other hand, was heartbroken with them. Ever terrified of losing her friends, she was worried that one of them would leave the team. As she looked over at Y/N putting on her bravest face, she knew it could be her. She didn’t want to dwell on the possibility that Spencer could leave her too.

Surrounded by her friends, Y/N didn’t feel so lost anymore. She felt grounded for a while like she could tell the forest from the trees. Yet with every glass of wine, she couldn’t help but let her mind drift to the nights where she would sit with a glass of white, him with a whiskey and they would talk. Just talk.

She can’t help but think that she ruined everything - she was too clingy, didn’t give him enough space. She can’t help but recall her college friend’s faces over FaceTime when she told them - they tried to cover it up as much as they could but they looked at her as if she was the maddest woman they’d ever met.

“Flew in all her Bitch Pack friends from the city, filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names, and blew through the money on boys and the ballet.”

Spencer didn’t like her college friends.

Scratch that. He hated them.

They were obnoxiously loud, careless and the complete opposite of Y/N. But she knew he tried not to judge. He was as kind to them as he was to anyone else, she just knew he disagreed strongly with their idea of a night out.

He pictured going to see a movie, or a nice meal in a nice restaurant.

They pictured bars, shots, and taxis home at 3am.

Maybe that’s why she invited them to join the BAU girls night out - she knew they bothered JJ, Emily, and Penelope but they never said anything. So, she just let it go. Maybe she invited them as some kind of revenge or a chance to drive the knife in a little bit further. Maybe it was none of that - she just needed attention.

Amber and Paige were her roommates in college - they were there for the first boyfriends, breakups, hookups and drunken mistakes. It’s hard to admit that sometimes people grow apart. She wanted to cling onto a sense of normalcy at least. At most, she wanted to let her inhibitions go.

Emily didn’t trust them. They were handing her shot after shot in the club, pulling her over to guys Y/N clearly wasn’t comfortable with talking to let alone flirting with. Amber and Paige were marvelling in her pain - they used it as a joke. She overheard something about Y/N finally breaking up with that nerdy, stuck up workaholic, something about Y/N could do better. Emily had to restrain JJ and Garcia from body slamming them into the bar. Y/N was too tipsy to comprehend their words.

The club was full of people, the flares of the lights bouncing off the corners of the dance floor. The air was humid, sweaty bodies pressed together. JJ, Emily, Penelope, and Y/N felt incredibly out of place - the only time they would ever enter a club was during a case if it called for it, bars were more their style for a girl’s night out. Amber and Paige, however, were in their element.

They acted like the college-aged students that occupied the dance floor and Y/N was immersed in it. Dancing with everyone she could, trying to drown herself and all the memories in them.

She wanted to ruin the good times that were haunting her.

For a while it was fun, blowing her money on shots and dancing into the next day. Then it was just her and Emily. Amber and Paige ditched them just a while ago, left her cold and exposed outside the club. She was used to that by now though.

The only comfort she had was Emily rubbing the small of her back, reminding her she wasn’t as alone as she felt, as they sat in the taxi back to her apartment.

Everything was blurry and slow but she was sure she didn’t want to be alone.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” She asked, like a child crawling into bed with their mother.

“Anything for you.” was the reply.

After that, the journey home is just blurred hues of traffic-lights and dim street lights guiding them home.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Emily said softly, ushering her into her room, helping her step out of her dress and into her pyjamas. She allowed the tears to flow freely for the first time that week.

Emily swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked at her friend.

“I miss him, Em.” she slurred.

“I know you do.”

A calm silence fell over the two women.

“Do you remember that case in Florida? The one with the rituals?

Emily was surprised she could recall this much in her drunken state.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

It all came flooding back to her, a soft breeze on her skin and his arm wrapped around her waist as they stood on the pier.

“That was the first time he told me he loved me.” Her eyes became heavy at the thought of that night.

A sad smile graced Emily’s lips as she watched her closest friend drift to sleep.

“pacing the rocks, and staring out at the midnight sea.”

She can’t recall much of that night but she knows she dreamt about that night in Miami.

Nighttime was the only time when Spencer wasn’t really bothered by his headaches, so they walked hand in hand on that pier; she could feel and see the love he felt for her. She just hoped he could too.

These were the times that she wished she had his eidetic memory. She wants to remember each and every word they spoke. The ones ushered at night, holding each other, skin-on-skin. She wants to remember each glance, the way he would blush when she caught him staring. Some memories are so vivid, some are so dull that they fade to nothingness when she pushes for them.

Yet, her love still burns on. Does his?

[stealinghero]

I recently burned both my hands (my right is better then my left rn) doing my art project and i was wondering if i could get a story with poly zenigata and goemon (i really love these two) taking care of their s/o who did the same thing

I really hope it isn’t as bad as in the scenario! Get well soon and please take care of yourself!! >___

Those two in a relationship would be too much for me. O_O I imagine them bickering the whole time. But it would be nice, too, because they both really care about their partner. So here you go:

This was bad. You had known it from the start and now your maddest nightmares had turned into actual human beings.

It had all started with this stupid project. You had loved it, the work, the imagination flying, everything was perfect. Until the oven was too hot and you just had to get it out of there before burning up. There was a big downside in working with clay.

But hey, the good part was: your project had turned out to be better than you had imagined yourself and your contractor, a rich snobbish man, had loved it and wanted to pay you even more than promised.

But back to the problem at hand – pun intended. You looked down at your bandaged hands, cursing softly, before looking up, watching the two men before you with a pang of guilt.

“I’m okay?” you offered at their stony faces.

They had fought the whole way to the hospital. Goemon was at fault for not watching you with your art project, while Zenigata was at fault for being away doing the grocery shopping. Everyone was at fault but the real guilty one: you. Art was your life and you had burned your fingers before while working with different materials. Sometimes the oven was too hot, sometimes you had seen a mistake while burning the clay and had decided to get it out of the oven without any protection. Shit happens. But this time was the first time with your two boyfriends being there.

“Are you sure? You’re a bit pale.” Zenigata leaned down to the sitting you and eyed you and your bandaged hands closely.

“Of course they are pale. Their hands are burned!” Goemon shoved him away just to do the same as him and to check your forehead for fever.

“Uhm, I hate to interrupt, but I actually am okay,” you answered with a lie. Your hands were the purest form of torture and you had to bite your tongue for not crying as the pain throbbed through the hands.

“Are you sure?”

“If they say, they are okay, they are.”

“Guys, please!”

 In the evening you had escaped the affections of those two and now hid in the bathroom, hearing them shoving the guilt at each other in the living room. Finally you could cry without worrying them more. God, that did hurt!!! A finger was bad, but a hand? And not only one hand but both!! The pain was the meanest you had experienced for a long time, only surpassed by a broken leg when you were 5.

A knock interrupted your tears and you hurried to clean your face when you realized you had no chance to do so. Washing your face? Impossible with two bandaged hands!!

Slowly, looking down to hide your tear-stained face, you opened the door.

Zenigata didn’t say anything and just pulled you into a soft hug, letting you cry a bit more, venting a bit of the pain you felt.

“I am sorry,” you could hear Goemon say behind Zenigata’s back.

“We shouldn’t fight. We should think what we do now,” the Inspector agreed, swaying you to calm you down.

“I can’t even wash my face!” you admitted, feeling totally useless.

And when you had thought your life with them was bad? You hadn’t known what was about to happen.

 Everything was taken away from you. Cleaning yourself? One of them was showering with you, careful not to get the bandaged wet.

Eating? You were now fed.

Going to the toilet? You had to lock the door to have the privacy! It was difficult wiping, but after the first painful tries you had found a way.

 In the first moment you thought he was joking, when Goemon had offered you to take the oven out. But after a few seconds you were convinced that he and Zenigata wanted this thing gone to save you from further injuries. That was enough!

You had sat both of them down in the living room and had told them to leave the oven as it were! With red ears they had apologized and promise not to touch your stuff without your permission.

And then the next doctor appointment had come…

 You cried openly as the doctor took off the bandages from your hands. Zenigata had you embraced in a tight hug and you leaned into him and just let your pain get the better of you.

Goemon had promised not to “over-react” as you had put it, but he was gripping his sword more tightly every sob of yours.

The doctor and the nurse helping him were so cute to you, giving you words of encouragement, making everything possible to take the pain away but it still hurt. The biggest shock was when you saw your own hands. Red and ugly flesh shined through the last compress, making you look away in sheer terror.

Zenigata hugged you more tightly and watched the whole ordeal unblinking, memorizing every step.

 “I admit you are stronger than I thought.”

You were already half-asleep when Goemon joined you in bed, hugging you carefully not to disturb your sleep.

“I hate it,” you admitted and could hear him snicker over your head.

His hands slid over your back and you closed your eyes, cuddling a bit closer to him

“You are very brave. And admitting to dislike this procedure makes you stronger and more honest than me.”

Here you had to look up at him questioningly.

“I was too worried about your hands to think about anything else. Hands are important, yes, but the mind of the person is of utmost importance. Forgive me to have forgotten that.”

You smiled and hugged him, minding your painful hands. “I still love you.”

He didn’t respond but kissed the top of your head.

 “Are you ready?”

You blinked at Zenigata’s smile and eyed all the things in front of him.

“What are you planning?” you asked him finally with a hint of panic.

“We are changing the bandages at home. The doctor told me he wants to see you once in a week. Everything else is too much stress for you.”

You had to admit he was right. The drive to the hospital, the waiting, all those doctors and nurses around you, had made you more panicky than the actual change.

But now you had to trust a police officer to do a doctor’s work?

“I noted everything down and the doctor gave me everything we might need. Sit down.”

You shook your head. This wasn’t about trust, this was purely wanting to avoid any more pain!

Strong hands gently pushed on your shoulders until you gave in and sat down. Goemon embraced you just as Zenigata had done so yesterday and you felt panic arise.

“What about the anesthesia?!”

“Remember the cream you applied a few hours ago?”

You nodded and suddenly realized that your hands had gotten numb from the place where you had applied the thick ointment.

“I apologize for misleading you about the mode of action of this ointment.” Goemon had told you this was a mere care product for your arms to help the unburned skin heal.

“Just close your eyes and give me your hands.”

You huffed and followed the orders.

 It had hurt. And not only you were in pain.

“Koichi?”

He didn’t want to look at you. Making himself as small as possible he had hidden himself in the kitchen for you to find him there in a desperate mood.

“Koichi, look at me, please.” You knelt in front of him, hesitant to reach out for him.

“I hurt you.”

You smiled a bit at his low voice.

“It did hurt. But now? I have new bandages and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore,” you reassured him. You loved him for being so full of doubts but sometimes it was also very stressing.

“But it did hurt.”

This was the beginning of a spiral you didn’t want to go through again.

“Koichi Zenigata, you are a capable police officer, a great man and an even greater partner in this relationship. You didn’t hurt me, I did this to myself because I am stupid sometimes, okay?”

“You’re not stupid.”

You had to laugh. He was so stubborn sometimes and so cute while being a little donkey. You hugged him and kissed his cheek.

“And you didn’t hurt me.”

End of discussion.

 With every passing day it was getting better. The help those two wanted to administer to you almost had gone to zero, giving you enough room to be independent but also to ask for help if you really needed.

They still helped you wash yourself, feeding you and even helped you dress yourself as these things were too much for your still bandaged hands. But the burns were healing nicely and at the last change you had the courage to watch Zenigata’s nimble fingers treating your wounds. He really did great work and you could lean back into Goemon’s hug with a small smile, trusting those two to take care of you for the rest of the healing process.

[imissyoubutimisssparkling]

My thoughts on Folklore

The 1- this song is beautiful, it gives me an All Too Well and The Moment I Knew vibe. There is also a Me! reference “for never leaving well off alone.” Favourite line: “And if you wanted me, you really should have shown.”

Cardigan- another beautiful song, it really takes me into this fairytalish whimsical mood and it’s nostalgic. The music video gave me a Pandora’s box/Alice in wonderland feel, like they were both curious of what was on the other side of the door. In Pandora’s box she sees a box and wants to open it. She knows she shouldn’t but she is curious of what’s inside. When she does open the box, all these bad things start to happen. For, Alice she goes down a rabbit hole without even thinking what could be on the other end. The vocals are just breath taking. Favourite line: “When you are young, they assume you know nothing.”

The Last Great American Dynasty- I really love this one, it’s very fun and really takes you into a story of Rebekah, I just learned that it’s about Rebekah Harkness after listening I really wanted to learn more about her because she sounds very interesting. Favourite lines: “There goes the maddest woman this town has ever known” and “She had a marvellous time ruining everything.”

Exile- Taylor and Bon Iver are amazing together and should really consider collaborating more often! This song left me speechless, the lyrics are so heartbreaking, and the story that is being told is incredibly sad and you can tell that both characters are in pain after losing each other. Vocals are outstanding! Favourite line: “Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave you so many signs)”

My Tears Ricochet- Another incredible song from Folklore, Taylor really showed us how good of a songwriter she is. You can tell that whoever hurt her, really hurt her. Favourite line: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”

Mirrorball-Listening to this song it made me feel like I was dancing with the one I love under a disco ball like how you see it in the movies. It’s somehow captures how the light reflects off of a mirror ball I don’t know how she did that. Also the beginning of the song and a little bit throughout the song reminded me of the band The Cranberries especially the song Linger and Dreams. Favourite line: “hush, I know they said the end is near but I’m still on my tallest tiptoes.”

Seven- this song for me I think she is talking about a friend she grew up with that she still thinks about to this day, and possibly wonders how they are doing. it has a very nostalgic feel to it. Also, I just realized that Seven is track 7. Favourite line: “Love you to the moon and to saturn.”

August- the lyrics to this song are so well written, and really pulls you into the memories and stories that she is singing about. Also, i realized that track 8 is August which is the 8th month of the year. Favourite line: “You weren’t mine to lose.”

This Is Me Trying-love the lyrics and the vocals are amazing. I think this is Taylor talking about her mental health and how much everything has affected her. although she could be talking to her lover, I also think that she is talking to us, her fans. Maybe she is telling us why she took a break for 3 years, and maybe she wanted to come back sooner but she was scared that we wouldn’t want her back. And maybe she had a hard time figuring out what to say to us but despite all that she is at our doorway anyway because she wants to show us that she is trying to get past everything. Also she says that she is pouring her heart out to a stranger, maybe that stranger she is referring to is us. Favourite line: the whole song

Illicit Affairs-I love the secrecy of this song. I feel like this is her talking about how she had to keep Joe a secret from the world and how hard it was. She felt paranoid that people were going to find out about them so she had to hide him away like she was having an affair. Favourite line: “ For you, I would ruin myself a million little times.”

Invisible String-This song is very cute and loving and really expresses how much she loves her partner. She is also saying how she always knew that there was something that was drawing her to them. Taylor also references her own song very cleverly (“Bad was the blood of the song in the cab”= Bad Blood) she also references herself in the song (“she said I looked like an American Singer” = Taylor Swift) Favourite line: “One single thread of gold tied me to you.”

Mad Woman- this song gives me The Man/I Did Something Bad vibe. I absolutely love this song! I You can hear the anger in her voice, you can also hear the pain too. The second verse I think is directed to Kanye and Kim, you know women like hunting witches too and doing your dirtiest work for you and how everything they did brought them together. I feel like the the line “cause you took everything from me.” Is directed towards scooter braun taking her entire music discography from her. Favourite line: the whole song

Epiphany- out of all the songs on Folklore, I feel this one has the best vocals, Taylor you sound incredible! This song had me in tears, I feel that this is about the medical workers particularly nurses who are on the front lines. It shows a past view so nurses who worked during the war and risked their lives on the battlefield along side soldiers to help save their lives if they were injured and needed immediate medical help. It also shows a present view of nurses during this pandemic, again risking their lives to help save the countless people who are extemely sick from Covid. I feel this is personal to Taylor as well because of her mom so I’m sure Taylor has seen how hard the nurses work to help her mom feel better. Being a nurse myself, I just want to say thank you Taylor for showing your support it really means a lot. Favourite line: “only twenty minutes of sleep but you dream of some epiphany just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen.” I mostly work with the elderly so seeing them having dementia and literally losing everything that makes them, them is very hard to watch, so this line really hits the nail on the head. When I come home from work this is exactly what I do, I go to sleep and I don’t think of work at all, I put it out of my mind so I don’t stress about it because I have work the next day and I need to sleep.

Betty- I’m still trying to figure this one out, and it did take me some time to get into the song but I actually really like it. Maybe it’s about someone trying to make an apology to their lover because they hurt them when they were younger. He or she wants to make up to them somehow. Favourite line: “The worst thing I did was what I did to you.”

Peace-this song is beautiful, it kind of reminds me of delicate in a way cause she is asking her partner is it okay if my life is chaotic and not never peaceful because being with me is not always rainbows and sunshine. Favourite line: “would it be enough if I could never give you peace.”

Hoax-Another amazing song, lyrics are hauntingly beautiful. She is saying that her partners love is the only love she wants even though they really hurt her and even if she doesn’t believe it when they tell her that they love her. Favourite lines: “But what you did was just as dark, darling this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.” And “Don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do.”

Overall Folklore is an amazing album that still needs to be explored. I will be having it on repeat for the rest of my life. Well done @taylorswift 🤍🖤

[theangelssecondwing]

Chapter 10

It wasn‘t easy to pretend that everything was normal. While Director Lazard had promised to keep us updated, there were no news on Genesis‘ whereabouts for a long time, and he didn‘t show up again. Sephiroth and Angeal were occasionally sent on new assignments, but none of them were particularly long, and they usually returned within a day or two. Then, one day, they returned and asked Yui and me to meet up at my place again.

„Clones“, Sephiroth said grimly as we sat down on my couch.

„Clones?“, Yui asked.

Sephiroth nodded. „We were attacked by a surprising amount of people looking like exact copies of Genesis.“

„So wait, you think Hollander is out there, cloning my boyfriend?“, Yui asked, sounding positively appalled.

„It‘s a reasonable assumption, don‘t you think?“, Angeal asked. „How else could this be explained?“

„I suppose you‘re right, but the question is… why? What could he possibly gain from creating an army of Genesis clones?“, I asked.

Angeal lifted an eyebrow. „You mean apart from having an army of 1st class SOLDIER powered superhumans under his command?“

„Hm. I knew something was off about this guy, but not in the ‚establishing a clone army to take over the world‘ way.“

„Nobody had any idea just how mad this madman is“, Angeal replied grimly. „Otherwise, Shinra wouldn‘t have employed him.“

„You sure?“, Sephiroth asked in a deadpan voice. „I mean they also employ Hojo, who treats the entire world like its his third grade science kit. Shinra has a tendency to specifically employ the maddest of madmen they can find.“

„That‘s not true. You‘re not a madman“, I countered.

„Are you really sure about that?“, he asked teasingly, putting an arm around my shoulders.

„The point is: There have been no further developments, and your orders are basically to eradicate any Genesis clones and forget about the whole ordeal otherwise. It feels like Shinra has just given up on Genesis, and if we want to save him, we have to do it independently of the company“, Yui stated.

„As we have already established. But Director Lazard is keeping us busy lately. Almost like he doesn‘t want us to have the time to dwell on the topic“, Sephiroth mused. „Good thing that as 1st Class SOLDIER, we do have right to refuse certain orders. That could grant us at least a bit of time to investigate. We would only have to find out where to start.“

„I can do that!“, I exclaimed. „I work in the archives. I can get all information on Hollander, including all sites where he worked while in the employment of Shinra. Most of these sites have been abandoned by now, but I‘m sure we can find some kind of clue somewhere in one of these labs!“

„Great idea, Cora. So you gather as much intel as you can, and then we all meet up here again once you have enough, so we can plan our next step.“

The next day, during lunch break, I snuck away into the archives, which at this time were deserted. Surely there was something I could find… I was so distracted while going through the endless masses of files that I didn‘t hear the footsteps until the person they belonged to cleared their throat. I yelped and lost my balance on the ladder I was standing on, falling backwards, crashing hard onto the floor and hitting my head, so stars exploded in front of my eyes.

„Ow...“, I groaned and rubbed the back of my head until the pain subsided a little and I could see again. Luckily, the filing cabinets weren‘t particularly high, or I could have gotten seriously injured.

„Serves you right for snooping around here all alone.“

I recognized that voice. I got up, though my back was killing me. „Vice President. Sir. Is there anything I can do for you?“ I got to my feet, but wobbled a little and Rufus actually motioned to catch me in case I would fall. But I stood, so he returned to his stoic posture of keeping his arms behind his back.

„Nothing in particular. I just saw you walk in here and got curious. While I do appreciate eagerness in my staff, something tells me that you haven‘t come here during lunch break to get some extra work done.“

My breath hitched in my throat ever so slightly. But still, there was nothing hostile about him. „Who knows. Maybe I was just curious myself.“

„Did curiosity lead you to the shelf specifically dedicated to information about the researchers in our employment?“, he asked without humor.

I grit my teeth. „And if that were the case?“

„I would like to know why.“ For just a split second, there was something akin to fondness in his features, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. „You used to trust me. So why can‘t you trust me now?“

„Because we were both different people back then“, I retorted.

Rufus looked at me for just a little moment longer, before pointing at a specific part of the shelf. „You will find what you‘re looking for there. Make sure that you and your friends make short work of Hollander, and keep the whole thing quiet afterwards.“

„Huh? You know?“

He smirked. „My father is so caught up in his own ego that he doesn‘t realize what is going on around him anymore. But I‘m not like that. You should know that.“ Then he turned around, giving me a dismissive wave. „As long as what you‘re doing doesn‘t endanger Shinra Corp‘s reputation or endeavors, I will not hinder you. In fact, it seems you are more willing to be helpful than Lazard is currently. Whenever I ask about the status of the operation around finding the doctor and our wayward SOLDIER, all I get are platitudes and excuses. So go ahead, and do tell me if you need a few days off for your investigations.“

I waited until he was gone, then I scrambled up the ladder again, despite my aching back, and got out a few files that indeed contained the information I needed.

During the subsequent meeting in my apartment, which turned into a headquarter for our private missions more and more, we concluded that our best starting point would be the reactor in Sector 5 of the city. Sephiroth stayed with me the night before they wanted to go investigate it, to ease my mind since I wouldn‘t join them. We were in my bedroom, Sephiroth already lounging on my bed and reading a book while I changed into my nightgown. I had bought it a few days before, in a sudden urge to get myself some sexier nightwear. I still couldn‘t believe that a nice nightgown like that actually existed in my size. It was black silk, with spaghetti straps and lace on the hems, and ended right underneath my butt. It actually didn‘t look too bad on me. Still I looked at my reflection in the full-length mirror mounted to the door of my wardrobe as if it was my worst enemy facing me. But it wasn‘t the deep self-loathing I used to feel. More like casual annoyance.

„What‘s this?“, Sephiroth exclaimed suddenly, and I turned around and approached the bed. An old photograph had slipped out from between the pages of the book. It showed a pair of children; a stern-looking boy with short, blonde hair and a pudgy girl with her dark hair in two braids.

„Oh. I completely forgot that was in there.“

But Sephiroth hardly seemed to notice me. He picked up the picture to take a closer look. „...That‘s you? With Rufus Shinra?“

„Yes“, I replied and sat down next to him.

He turned his head to me. „...I don‘t understand. I thought you hated each other.“

„That wasn‘t always the case, though.“

„Oh? Why didn‘t you tell me you used to be so close to him?“

„There are days where I forget that myself. We haven‘t really spoken to each other beyond polite, empty banter in years.“ I took the photo and gave it a long, thoughtful look, before stopping short. „Wait… is that a hint of jealousy I hear?“

„Possibly. Especially since your father seems so obsessed with you marrying him.“ Sephiroth‘s voice had become harder.

I let out a deep, resigned sigh. „And that was the problem.“

„What do you mean?“ I got comfortable, laying down next to Sephiroth. „Rufus and I used to be best friends. My father tried to suck up to the Shinras enough to make me seem like wife-material for Rufus from pretty much the moment the doctor said ‚It‘s a girl!‘. So I often spent summer vacation at the Shinra estate. Rufus and I were both rich kids with absentee parents, and we bonded over that. Became like brother and sister, we even started calling each other brother and sister eventually. He kept me safe from bullies, I brought him candy when he was frustrated. Our fathers were delighted, of course. After all, us getting along would make setting us up with each other easier, right?“

Sephiroth tilted his head attentively. „One might assume.“

„Well, no. Not in our case. As I said, we were like family to each other. But pretty much as soon as I started puberty, they upped their efforts to force us to fall in love. That went from forcing us to spend even more time together, which was honestly fine by us, to setting up ‚romantic‘ meetings for us and calling public attention to us while we were together. And it just got so uncomfortable that we started avoiding being seen together. We never said more than necessary to each other from that point onward. Then he started working for his father‘s company and he… changed.“ I paused for a bit, trying to find the right words. „It‘s true what people say. He never cried as a child. But he also wasn‘t always the complete jerk he is nowadays. But once he became involved in Shinra Corp., he became cold and cruel. And that was the end of even the last remains of our friendship.“ I tightened my hands into fists. „I will never forgive my father for this.“

Sephiroth had become a lot more relaxed while I was talking, and let me snuggle up to him. „And you shouldn‘t. I‘m so sorry.“

„It‘s okay. That‘s just how it is sometimes.“ I sniffled a little, upset by the memories of days long gone. But thanks to Sephiroth‘s warmth, I soon drifted off, the photo still in my hand.

[thearrangment-phff]

XXIX. Guest List

February 2017

The day before Valentine’s day Isabella and Harry, along with Isabella’s parents and four ladies-in-waiting began discussing the bridal party at the early hours of the day. The sun wasn’t even up when Harry answered the door and found the group of seven standing there. Isabella was half asleep and looked as if she attempted to get dressed but gave up halfway.

Isabella’s father, Carl Christian, was the one to be carrying all the equipment, most of which Harry didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t until Christine of Orleans-Braganza and Charlotte of Murat began to set up three dry erase boards in the lounge. Each one of the boards was already labeled.

The first was for the bridal party and Christine had begun to write down possible names of the children who would be a part of the wedding. The second was for Harry’s immediate family and then that board had a thick black line down the middle. One section was for his father’s side of the family while the other was for the Spencer’s. The final board, which was very much larger than the rest, was dedicated to Isabella’s family. The Habsburgs and Luxembourg’s.

Amongst the chaos, Harry looked around the room to find his fiancé asleep in the corner of the room with a blanket around her. The blue blanket was one usually kept on one of the chairs for company. He thought about leaving her there or possibly picking her up and letting her sleep in his bed. Once he saw Charlotte of Murat coming in his direction he had no choice to wake up Isabella because he wasn’t going to deal with any of her ladies-in-waiting by himself. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but those women scared him.

It took a slow minute before Isabella had stood up with the blanket still around her and gave Harry the maddest face she could give, though it wasn’t making any effect on Harry. Charlotte grabbed one hand of Isabella and the other of Harry’s before placing them in chairs in front of the boards. There were already names on the first board for Isabella and very few names for Harry. They even had several question marks next to ’supporter’ for Harry.

“Why isn’t Gabriella’s name next to maid of honor? She’s my first choice,” questioned Isabella.

“Darling… Gabriella won’t be able to be your maid of honor because… she’s pregnant,” answered Marie Astrid.

“I’m sorry what?! By who? She can’t be pregnant!”

“You know that her and Henri have been seeing each other for some time now. It wasn’t an accidental pregnancy, they planned to have children, and Henri plans on marrying her next year,” explained Carl Christian further.

“Well, how far along is she?”

“She’s about 2 months. She thought we should know and then tell you that she can’t take any formal position in your wedding other than being just a guest,” smiled Marie Astrid.

It took a couple of seconds for Isabella to process that her little sister carried a human inside her at the moment, “So I guess this means we are definitely inviting Henri’s family to the wedding,” joked Isabella.

“He’s family either way.”

“Who is Henri and how is he related to you?” Asked Harry.

“Henri is a Prince of Bourbon-Parma so as a descendant of Robert Duke of Parma and through King Christian IX of Denmark. More importantly, Henri’s grandmother is Princess Marie Gabriele of Luxembourg a sister to our grandfather Jean. Henri’s closest relation is being our second cousin.”

“Second cousins. Like your parents and you and Joachim?” Asked Harry.

“Exactly,” agreed Isabella.

“We were thinking your cousins Marie Gabrielle or Charlotte could be your maid of honor,” smiled Christine.

“Not Marie Gabrielle. She is planning her own wedding so your only option is really Charlotte unless you have another idea Isabella,” corrected Carl Christian.

“Charlotte is fine. Perfect actually.”

“Perfect opportunity to find her a proper husband,” smiled Charlotte of Murat.

“No one will use my wedding to find spouses,” said Isabella in immediate anger.

“My dear, weddings a hundred year ago between royals were used for that exact reason,” replied Charlotte.

“Could we please move on?” suggested Harry.

“So, it’s decided? Charlotte shall be your maid of honor?” Asked Marie Astrid.

“Yes, I would like to tell her myself. Perhaps when all of the family is in Luxembourg next month. I can inform Charlotte and her parents of my decision,” agreed Isabella.

“Okay. Harry do you have any idea for will be your supporter or supporters?” Asked Marie Astrid.

“No. I do have one or two ideas but…” Mumbled Harry.

“Care to share?” Asked Charlotte of Murat.

“Well my brother is one but he’s busy. He has children and I was thinking Alexander if he’s available.”

“Oh, what a lovely idea!” Smiled Marie Astrid.

“I haven’t decided. I need more time to think about it,” said Harry.

“Not too much time. We’ll need to move things along, but it’s very sweet that you thought about Alexander for the position of supporter,” replied Marie Astrid.

“Shall we get started on the groom’s family. We can assume all immediate family of Her Majesty will be invited. Will the Gloucester’s and Kent’s also be invited?” Asked Christine.

“It would be customary that they are invited,” replied Harry, “I think my grandmother should have more of a formal list for helping me decide who is to receive an invite. My grandfather’s German relations will also be invited.”

“Will Princess Michael also be invited?” Asked Charlotte.

“Most likely yes. She is married to my grandmother’s cousin after all.”

“Isabella, I want you to stay away from the dreadful woman as much as possible,” spat Charlotte.

“I take your family doesn’t like her?” Asked Harry as he read the room. The clear distaste for Baroness Marie Christine, now The Princess Michael, showed Harry more of Isabella’s family true nature.

“She comes from nothing. Just some low life Barons and Counts and she acts like she a queen herself,” spat Carl Christian.

“That whole family is nothing but a bunch of social climbers! They were like leeches to Franz Josef and to your grandfather. All of them parasites! They enjoyed the good graces of the Austrian-Hungarian monarchy then ran away like cowards when the monarchy was abolished. Leaving their sovereign to die in exile. But that wasn’t enough, they went and joined the Nazi Party. They are disgusting people,” spat Marie Astrid.

“Remind me to keep Princess Michael away from your mother,” whispered Harry to Isabella.

“More like my whole family. Habsburgs never forget,” whispered Isabella.

“Perhaps we should put the lower Kent’s on a maybe list? Yes! We’ll have a ’maybe list’. Christine make one the board and put Princess Michael on the list,” smiled Charlotte.

The tension was thick, “Another we could put on the list is the Earl Spencer,” suggested Christine.

“My uncle? Why would we put him on the maybe list?”

“Harry, your uncle is a controversial man. All the marriages, but most importantly he’ll talk to the press any chance he gets if it means he has a camera in his face,” said Isabella in simpler terms. She just couldn’t outright insult Harry’s uncle.

“I do understand where you are coming from because my grandparents feel that way regarding his press interviews, but he’s family Isabella. I can’t simply not invite him.”

“Why don’t we save this for another time?” Asked Carl Christian.

“So, Harry’s family is done with, why don’t we move on to our family?” Asked Christine.

It was funny to Isabella that Christine said ‘our family’. Christine may have been born a Princess of Ligne but her mother was also a Princess of Luxembourg by birth. Despite her marrying a Prince of Orleans-Braganza she remained close to her blood relatives above all. Christine was Isabella’s mother’s cousin and her father’s cousin as well. She was family, but to Isabella she never completely felt like it.  

Besides Olympia, Isabella’s other three ladies-in-waiting were 'friends of the family’ types. Gaelle was a Countess de Lannoy, Isabella’s distant cousin, and Gaelle’s sister Stephanie was married to Guillaume, Isabella’s cousin. Charlotte of Murat simply had strong connections to the Ligne family. Charlotte was born a countess of Ursel and when she married her husband Prince of Murat she got lucky. The Murat family had close relations with the Ligne family which is how she was able to get her position.

“Well I think we should start with foreign royalty. It’ll be a shorter list than listing our family,” suggested Isabella as everyone nodded.

“Well the Scandinavian royals will be invited,” started Charlotte of Murat.

“I’m the spare. You don’t have the invite them, they’ll probably won’t come,” interrupted Harry.

“Nonsense! The King of Norway is my mother’s cousin. He’ll come with his family as well. The Danish Queen is a delight to have at any event and if she comes then we can almost guarantee the King of Sweden to come as well. We must send a separate invitation to Princess Madeleine of Sweden as she’s living in London,” said Marie Astrid.

“Why don’t we set up a day out with Isabella and Princess Madeleine. Both are foreign princesses living in this soggy country. It would help her strengthen her ties with foreign royalty. After all, two-thirds of the Scandinavian royals are only distantly related to you,” suggested Charlotte of Murat.

“I will not use someone just to ’strengthen ties’. That’s rude. If I’m going to be her friend it’ll be because I want to get to know her and want to be her friend. I’m already enough of a pawn as it is,” argued Isabella.

“You and Princess Madeleine have more in common than you think. Both of you are foreigners who married British men, and now you find yourself living in London. Thousands of lignes away from your family,” said Christine.

“I have Louis in London. Alexandra is just a couple of hours away in Scotland studying for her masters. I have ’family’ because I literally have family all over Europe. Besides, I trust Harry more than enough to make me not feel alone in London,” said Isabella as Harry placed his hand of hers and squeezed lightly. It gave her reassurance that Harry would make her feel like family.

“Isabella is right. As long I breathe I will make everything easier for her,” agreed Harry.

“What about children? Will you allow them to bring their children? Family, friends, and others cannot be painted with the same brush,” said Carl Christian.

“I’m pretty sure you said that wrong, but I’ll forget about that… well, I think the children of immediate family members must come. Maria Stella, Leopold, Katharina, and the rest have to come. Amalia and Noah too.”

“Amalia and Noah?” Asked Harry.

“Amalia is my cousin Felix’s daughter. Noah is Louis’ son,” answered Isabella before turning her attention to the main subject, “Crown Prince and Princess couples should bring their children too if they’d like. I don’t have an objection to children.”

“Harry?”

“If Isabella is fine with it then so am I, but maybe we should put it out there that just because children are allowed that they not be so young. Set a minimum age of 2 or 3,” suggested Harry.

“Lovely idea,” smiled Charlotte of Murat.

“Well Asian royals will be invited but will probably send lower royals in their place so their country is still represented,” continued Marie Astrid.

“I’m the spare. I wouldn’t be surprised if kings and queens didn’t come. One person I really want on the list is Prince Seesio of Lesotho and his family. It’s important that they are invited.”

“Done,” nodded Christine as she wrote on one of the boards.

“The Prince and Princess of Monaco should receive an invite. The Prince’s sister married a Prince of Hanover so she’ll need an invitation as well to represent the Hanoverians,” spoke Carl Christian.

“Will the Netherlands receive an invitation as foreign royalty or family?”

“Too distantly related to be considered family,” answered Marie Astrid.

“King Willem Alexander’s brother and his wife should receive an invite. Don’t forget to send one to Princess Mabel, the widow of his brother. We can’t forget about The King of the Netherlands cousins. They are after all Princes of Bourbon-Parma.”

“That can be discussed later. King Willem Alexander’s cousin may have a Dutch Princess as their mother but their father is from a disposed monarchy,” answered Carl Christian.

Harry was going to object to that but things moved too quickly as Charlotte spoke again, “Middle Eastern royals will receive an invitation as well?” Then was met with nods from several people in the room.

“The Spanish king and queen will be invited as family or foreign royalty?” Asked Christine.

“Family. King Juan Carlos would love that gesture. Besides, Franco may have given him the Spanish throne, but he knows that his blood is weak. His throne may not survive some 100 years from now. He’ll come running to his Bourbon family side for help soon enough,” spoke Carl Christian.

“The Belgians and Liechtenstein’s will be invited as family. Prince Hans-Adams will also love the gesture and it will put Isabella farther in his good graces. He may be less than ten years older than your father and I, but that man won’t live long to see a birth of a great-grandchild. Let’s all hope that he left something for Isabella,” predicted Marie Astrid.

From then on Harry watched as Isabella and her parents talked back and forth about who from their family was coming to wedding. Seeing all the names and all the titles changed something within Harry. He obviously knew Isabella came from a big family and he knew many of them had titles by birth or by marriage, but everything was starting to sink in more what he had gotten into.

Right in the middle of everything William had come into the room and looked awkward amongst the small chaos. Harry gestured for his older brother to sit next to him as Isabella was talking to her parents.

“How are things going?”

“Just going over Isabella’s family. As you can tell by the board and tiny handwriting there is a lot.”

“What does PBP?” Asked William

“Prince or Princess of Bourbon-Parma. AA basically means Archduke of Austria and the female equivalent; AAE means Archduke of Austria Este and the female equivalent; AAPT means Archduke of Austria, Prince of Tuscany. Trust me it took me a while to understand them,” smiled Harry.

“There’s a lot of them. What about all those other abbreviations?” Asked William as he pointed to the board.

“Titles I think. Some get too long and since there are so many Charlotte has resorted to making their names shorter. Some of the things she wrote I don’t even understand. I think she’s the only one who even understands what she writing at this point,” joked Harry.

“So, I was thinking that you and Isabella should come over next month for dinner. Kate feels that their first meeting didn’t go well and wants another chance.”

“Maybe. Isabella has a busy schedule so I’ll have to talk to her later. Not to mention we’re going to Luxembourg next month.”

“For what?”

“The Luxembourg Grand Ducal family is gathering in Luxembourg for the civil wedding of Isabella’s cousin Marie Gabrielle. Isabella’s also going to Belgium later on this week to attend a mass in honor of deceased Belgian Royals with some of the members of the actual Belgian Royal Family and the Luxembourg Grand Ducal Family,” answered Harry.

“I’m guessing your friends with them? The Luxembourg Royals that is?”

“If you want to call it that yes. Louis has been a big help getting Isabella situated here in London. Jean and Guillaume decided to become patrons of the Invictus games which is amazing. Her younger cousins Marie Gabrielle and Charlotte were nice to me the entire time I was in Luxembourg with them. They even helped me get to Château of Belœil when we spent New Year’s in Belgium.”

“Planning any other trips?” Asked William with a bit of sarcasm.

Nonetheless, Harry answered, because deep down inside he wanted to rub it in his brother’s face that he was the one going and not William, “Isabella and I have 4 wedding to go to. Her cousins are all marrying this year so we’ll most likely have to fly to Spain or France for those weddings. At least that’s what Isabella said. Her family mostly marry in those two countries and I think the Luxembourg Grand Ducal Family have property they all stay at in June for a holiday which Isabella and I will be at,” replied Harry.

“Can’t believe my little brother is going to be flying across Europe rubbing elbows with all of the European royalty. Can’t say I ever saw that happening,” laughed William.

“It’s not all of the European royalty. Maybe just the Belgians, Luxembourg’s, Liechtenstein’s, and Spanish. That sounds like a lot, but it’s not! Besides, it’s not like I’m the one getting these invitations. It’s all Isabella. I wouldn’t be going if it weren’t for her,” replied Harry.

“But you like it right? Getting to go to all these parties in Belgium and France. I’m the future king I should be the one going to those things. Maybe I should’ve married someone with a title,” joked William.

Though Harry didn’t take it as a joke, “I’m not marrying Isabella for her title.”

“And I’m not saying you are. But Harry, be serious, you enjoy all the good things she comes with. Money, family connections, and all those holidays you will take without getting hounded by the press about the money you are spending.”

“Maybe you and Kate should spend less time holidaying and more time actually working and you wouldn’t be slaughtered in the press about it,” snapped Harry. “Besides, you sat there I have no control over her money or anything else in her names. And those family connections you praise are nothing. They are her family not some type of business connection. What Isabella and I do with our time won’t concern you or Kate.”

It didn’t take long after Harry’s small outburst for his brother to leave. The rest of the day was spent figuring out who was going to be invited. Just like Harry had predicted, Isabella ended up going to sleep on the floor by the afternoon. Carl Christian wanted to wake her up but Harry insisted that she sleep. So, Harry did what he thought was best for her. He carried Isabella into his bedroom and laid her on his bed.  

Once the list was done Charlotte just told Harry this was a draft because some of the people on the list could fall out of favor. Out of favor to Charlotte of Murat meant they couldn’t give her anything she wanted. Out of favor to everyone else depended if they talk to the press about Isabella. Once again, their main concern was for Isabella’s safety and her image in the press.

[justanotherwannabeclassic]

In Another World

While visiting Storybrooke, Alice struggles with seeing the life her father could have lived and wonders if he would have been happier without her.

Notes: So I've succumbed to the world of Knightrook and I REGRET NOTHING. So here's Knightrook with a dash of Captain Swan. In terms of timeline, I'm going to say that for Captain Swan, 3-4 years have passed since the left Henry, Regina, and Wish!Hook. Obviously, this is set post-curse. [AO3]   Alice pressed her face against window, watching as the world around her sped by. Maine was full of trees, and it reminded her a bit of where she came from, only this time she would have the ability to explore this place more. She’d done quite a bit exploring over the past few weeks. Not too long after the curse had broken and the villains defeated, she and Papa had decided to take a trip around the States to see all of the sights. They’d plotted over maps and researched the different places they’d like to visit, and – oh – how wonderful it had been.    

The Grand Canyon had been her favorite. It was so large and vast, and it appeared to be somewhere someone could go easily find himself or herself lost. And the scenery was so different! The colors were all reds and oranges and brown, and the flora was nothing like she’d seen before. She and Papa had gone hiking, and she’d reveled in how she could stretch her legs and climb to high places and end back up on the ground again. They’d taken so many picture, she and Papa, his arm draped around her shoulder with twin smiles on their faces.

It was fantastic.

And now she and Papa were on their way to Maine to visit Papa’s other self, the one in Henry’s book. No, the one who inspired the character in Henry’s book. It was so strange to imagine two versions of her father, but it wasn’t the maddest thing she’d seen by far. Regardless, she was eager to meet the man that shared Papa’s face and much of his history.

Alice was curious at how different Storybrooke would be from the other places she had visited. She’d learned from Regina and Henry that it was small. Not like a village, but nowhere near as large as Seattle or the other cities she and Papa had stopped at along the way. (New York City had been amazing with its bright lights and towering skyscrapers.) At the very least, she doubted that the town would be as odd as Wonderland.

“Ah, there it is,” her father commented.

Alice looked ahead to see a “Welcome to Storybrooke” sign come into view. She was practically vibrating in her seat now. Henry had given her a list of all the things they should do in town. Alice wanted to eat at Granny’s and see the harbor, and maybe explore the library. Papa had brought her many books growing up, and this world had many books more. She wondered if Storybrooke had different books that Seattle.

Alice wondered many things.

She wondered about other-Papa’s family. She’d read about Emma Swan in Henry’s book, and Papa had told her how the woman had saved his life with her magic. But people in real life were different that people in the stories. She should know. Alice, herself, was nothing like her counterpart in the other book, aside from her name and similar looks. Because of this, she was quite eager to meet the mysterious Emma Swan…and her daughter.

The daughter definitely piqued Alice’s interests. In a way, it was like she had a much, much younger sibling out there. She’d always wanted a little brother or sister, someone to keep her company during her lonely years trapped in the tower. And now she had one! Sort of. They shared similar to DNA, and the daughter belonged to the alternate version of her father, but still. It was a start.

What would be a better start was if she knew the girl’s name. Papa said his other self hadn’t mentioned it on the phone, and Henry hadn’t responded to her text asking. He, Ella, and Lucy had visited Storybrooke weeks ago. Alice had seen pictures on their Instagram accounts, happy and smiling and surrounded by a crowd of people. She’d seen Papa’s other self in one of those pictures, a small dark-haired girl in his arms.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” Alice asked aloud for the first time. It was something she’d been thinking on for quite awhile. “The other you and his family, that is.”

Papa glanced over to her, his expression bewildered. “Why wouldn’t they? You are, without a doubt, one of the most likable people I have ever met. And I’ve met many over the centuries.”

“I know that,” she replied, though it was a partial lie. The truth of the matter was that she was worried. Even though she belonged to different Killian Jones than the one she was going to visit, what if her presence made Emma uncomfortable? Alice knew how step mothers could be, not that Emma Swan was truly a step mother. But she’d seen how Ella had been treated, and she couldn’t help but think of all the possibilities. “But what if they don’t?”

“Then this realm is far more absurd than either you or I ever thought,” Papa replied.

Then the GPS chirped, letting them know they were almost to their destination. They had been directed down a series of streets, taking them to a residential part of town. The lawns were most immaculate and far more sizable than anything she’d ever seen in Hyper Heights. Thankfully, she did not see any toadstools. That simply wouldn’t do.

Papa eventually pulled the car to stop in front of large home. There was a sign on the mailbox that read “Swan-Jones” in curled letters. Alice studied the home. It was tall, not as tall as her tower, but there were many levels. Like the other homes, the lawn was pristine, and bushes lined the front walk.

She let out a low whistle.

“Nice place.”

“Aye,” her father agreed. He quirked his head to the side, “Shall we?”

“It’s be a pity if we didn’t go, considering we went all this way,” Alice answer, and go they went.

The air in Storybrooke was fresher than in Hyperion Heights. She appreciated that. Everything felt cleaner here, and far more peaceful. She wondered if one could see the stars at night. The light of the city obscured them back in Seattle, and if there was one thing she missed about the Enchanted Forest, it was seeing the stars. She’d seen plenty while traveling across the country with Papa, beautiful white lights speckling the sky. Papa had taught her all the constellations years ago. Did this other Killian Jones intend to do the same with his daughter?

Well, there was only one way to find out, so when they reached the front door she knocked.

It was few moments more for a woman to answer the door. Alice recognized her immediately. It was Emma Swan. She had gotten a haircut since the last picture of Henry’s she had seen. Her blonde hair was now shoulder-length, but she was still just as beautiful. Emma’s smile turned wide when she saw them. “You guys are here! Come in!” She opened the door wide, and Alice craned her head to see the inside of the house. It was spacious, with framed pictures on the wall and books stacked in shelves. She noticed stairs winding up to another floor. Yes, the house was certainly larger than her room in her tower or even the apartment she and Papa now shared in Hyperion Heights.

“Your home is lovely, Emma,” Papa said as they entered the Swan-Jones home. Alice stayed silent, instead choosing to walk over to the collage of frames on the wall. There were wedding photos, pictures of Henry in his teens, and plenty of a who she assumed was Emma’s daughter. Alice studied Papa’s other self in each of these photos and cemented his smile to memory. He looked quite happy in each of these photos surrounded by his family and friends. Alice didn’t remember Papa having many friends while she was growing up. He’d remained isolated, though unlike her, it was by choice.

“Where’s everyone else?” Alice asked suddenly, realizing that neither her Papa’s other self nor his daughter were her. She could hear voices upstairs, but she wasn’t sure it was them. The voices very well could have belonged to someone else.

“They’re upstairs. Alice just woke up from her nap, and Killian is wrangling her. They’ll be down any minute. Alice is very excited to meet you both.”

Alice startled at Emma’s words. “Alice? She has my name?” “Yeah, it seems like their devilishly handsome good looks aren’t the same thing the two Killian Jones have in common. They like the same baby names, too,” Emma replied with a laugh. Alice glanced over to Papa, who was scratching behind his ear. Alice supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that her father’s other version had named his daughter Alice. Papa had named her after his mother, and it only made sense that the other man’s mother was Alice, as well. Still, Alice couldn’t deny the knot that was beginning to form in her stomach. Before she could fully contemplate her feelings on the matter, she was distracted by a whoop from the stairs. A man who looked exactly like Papa was walking down the stairs carrying a small child who looked nothing like her. This other Alice’s dark hair was was braided into pigtails, and atop her hair sat a plastic-looking bejeweled crown.

“Hear ye, hear ye, Princess Alice is now awake and ready to greet her most esteemed guests,” the other Killian Jones announced. The girl in his arms waved excitedly with one hand while the other clutched a stuffed animal, and Alice was taken back to when Papa would play pretend with her. She never pretended to be a princess, though, as Papa had explained that royalty was never to be trusted. Alice could be a lady, of course, or sometimes a pirate queen -- but never a princess in a frilly gown and crown.

“I keep forgetting I’m royalty, and she somehow has it imprinted to memory,” Alice heard Emma murmur to Papa eliciting a chuckle. Oh right. Emma was a princess. She wondered if that made Papa's other self a prince. Was he happy as a prince? “I think you have your parents to thank for that, my love,” the other version of Papa replied to Emma. He angled his face toward his daughter, “Milady, how about we greet our new visitors.” The little girl waved excitedly, her words coming out in a jumble. “HiImAlice.”

“I’m Alice, too” Alice said, and the little girl. She felt awkward standing there is in the foyer with Papa and this alternate version of his family. Unwilling to let it show, she said, “It’s nice to meet you.” The other Alice thrust out the stuffed animal in her arms. Upon closer inspection, it seemed to be alligator. “This is Crocy. He’s my friend.” This caused Papa to laugh loudly, a joke that clearly Alice didn’t understand. His other self looked mildly amused at the exchange, and Alice wondered what information she was missing. She hated feeling out of the loop. It made her feel a little too crazy.

“It was a gift from her grandfather. He thought it’d be funny,” Papa’s other self explained, though not truly. The man then smiled wide at Papa. “It’s good to see you again. I’m glad you found one another.”

“Would you like to sit down? There’s no need to keep standing?” Papa’s other self asked, and he led them into the living den. He sat the small Alice down, and she walked over to a box of toys, upending the entire thing into the floor. Papa gratefully sat down, but Alice took that as an invitation to inspect the home. As Papa and his other self caught up in the background -- Alice heard him sharing the story of how they cured his poisoned heart -- she admired the array of photos and knick-knacks scattered about. It was clear this version of Papa liked to keep things orderly. There was hardly any dust, and every item seemed to have its place. She wondered how long it took for them to clean this house. Her room in the tower didn’t take long to clean. She recalled singing songs with Papa as they cleaned. Did his other self do the same with his Alice?

“She’s doing surprisingly well with the two of us,” Alice heard Papa comment. They were talking about the other Alice.

“We, ah, sort of explained that you were my twin. She has twin boys in her preschool, so it helped her understand,” the other Killian explained. Alice felt a stab of jealousy at that. She hadn’t been able to have friends as a small child. She wondered if this Alice knew how lucky she was. She lived in a large house that she could leave. She had friends. She had a mother.

“Smart, and the names didn’t give her pause?”

“Well, she knows has two Uncle Liams, I don’t think an ‘Uncle Killian’ was too much for her honestly,” Emma added. Alice knew of her two Uncles. Papa had told her their sad stories, but she was surprised a three-year-old knew. Papa was, as well.

“She knows about them both?”

“Uncle Liam brings me presents,” the younger Alice piped up. “He’s gon’ bring me a huge kraken.”

Papa appeared confused a the small girl’s exclamation. Alice wondered how a kraken would even fit into the house. “So he’s safe then?”

“We reunited a awhile back. He’s on a vessel titled the Nautilus now, and visits every now and then,” the other Killian Jones explained. Alice could tell he was choosing his words carefully. “Alice has taken a liking to him.”

“He’s forgiven me -- I mean, you?”

“Aye, after some time, at least.”

“That’s...that’s fantastic.” The awe was evident in Papa’s voice, but there was something else there too. Regret? Jealousy? Alice couldn’t quite place it, but she didn’t like what was lurking there beneath the surface. “So he’s okay? Truly?”

“Do you have any pets?” Alice asked, pulling the conversation from brothers and not-so-lost brothers. One of her earliest memories was Papa bringing home a small, white kitten for her to befriend. Alice had named her Dinah. She’d loved that cat. “I like cats. And rabbits.”

The small Alice perked up with that, and with an exaggerated frown announced, “No. No kitten for me.” “Maybe if you show you can be responsible, Santa will bring you one,” Emma said in a sing-song voice. Santa didn’t exist for her, or anyone in the Enchanted Forest for that matter. Alice knows that if she thought the man was real, she would have tried to meet him to befriend someone else.

“I’m ‘sponible, Mummy.” As if to prove her point, she closed her eyes tightly. Suddenly, the toys that she had earlier scattered about vanished from the floor, reappearing in the box she upended. “See?”

“You’ve got magic?” Alice asked, kneeling down to face the girl. Small Alice nodded excitedly.

“We’re not sure if it’s an inherited thing, or the ‘product of True Love’ thing,” Alice heard Emma explain. The other woman’s words shook her. Product of True Love. Inherited magic. Her heart began to pound in her chest. “Likely the True Love thing, I’d imagine,” she said.

As if sensing her discomfort, Papa changed the subject. “So, what’s there to do around this town? Henry mentioned Granny’s and her ‘must have’ onion rings.”

“Daddy takes me sailin’ on his ship. It’s big,” the other Alice said. She raised her hands above her head to indicate the height.

“Reminds me of the Jolly,” Papa said, smiling fondly. As much as he tried not to show it, Alice knew he missed his ship. Alice, herself, wish she could have seen it.

“It is the Jolly,” Papa’s other self said. Alice’s eyes widened. He had the ship too?

“Really? You have her?” Papa was astounded. “I haven’t seen her in ages.” “Would you like to? I can poof us there,” Emma suggested.

“I would love...Alice, would you like to see the Jolly Roger?” The longing in his voice was evident, and Alice tried to pretend it didn’t hurt. He gave it up to be with her.

“Sure,” she replied, though she felt as if she was lying through her teeth. Emma looked over at her strangely, and Alice tried not to shrink from her gaze. “Are we going? How does this poofing work, exactly?” Emma explained that they all needed to hold hands, and Papa took her hand into his. Alice squeezed it tightly, hoping that he would never let her go, and in that moment she was afraid. Not of the magic, no. She’d been around magic plenty, but of everything else. Of Storybrooke. Of Papa’s other self with his beautiful life of all the things Papa could ever want. And then a puff of smoke engulfed them, and Alice felt the familiar tugging sensation of being transported somewhere new and different. In no time at all, the slightly floral scent of the Swan-Jones home was replaced by the salty air of the harbor, and they were standing on the deck of a ship. Papa gasped beside her, and he released her hand. He turned to look at her, “I told you she was marvel, didn’t I, love?”

“Yeah, you did.” Papa had regaled her with tales of sailing on this ship, but he’d told he’d given it up long ago to be with her. Alice used to dream of sailing on the ship with Papa, sailing far, far away from her tower to lands unknown. But they never had the chance. She had been trapped, and even if he wasn’t, he no longer had the ship. But the Killian Jones of this world could still sail. He’d never lost it for good, it seemed. He could take his Alice sailing. It made a pretty picture in her head, a vision of Papa sailing the world with a little girl in his True Love -- something her Papa never had the opportunity to have. Because of her. The Killian Jones of this world had never been shackled to a life on the land, because he’d never had her. He’d fathered a different Alice of his own, the product of True Love , as in he’d fallen in love. He got married. He had his beloved ship, and even met his other brother Liam and rekindled their broken relationship. In short, in a world where she never existed, Papa’s life was infinitely better. “Alice, what’s wrong?”

It took her father’s question to make her realize that she’d been crying. She brushed away the tears, and walked away from him. “Nothing.”

“Sweetheart, you’re crying.”

She looked around to see Papa’s other self watching her with concern, his daughter in his arms. Emma held onto his hook, appearing equally worried. What a brilliant and beautiful family they made, perfect in every way. How much better his world was without her. Alice ran.

A small voice in her head told her she was being silly, but she pushed forward, ignoring Papa’s shout of her name. She wished desperately for a looking glass or for a portal to gobble her up and send her to Wonderland, Agrabah, or even her tower -- anywhere but where could see the evidence of just how happy Papa would be without her.

How stupid she’d been to believe this was something she’d actually wanted to see. Unsure of where to go, Alice all but collapsed onto a bench. It reminded her of one of her favorite spots in Hyperion Heights. She wished she could magic away there, to go back and hide, and to forget this day ever happened. Perhaps a curse could once again sweep her away. At least then she’d forget how she’d ruined Papa’s life.

She heard Papa’s familiar footfalls, but refused to turn around to acknowledge him. Instead she sat resolutely looking forward into the harbor, watching the seagulls fly around. When she had been trapped in her tower, she envied the way they could just fly away. Currently, she envied them still.

Papa sat down next to her. Alice could feel his concerned gaze, but she continued to not say anything more. “ You get your stubbornness from me, I’m afraid,” he’d told her ages ago.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here.” Whatever she had been expecting him to say, it wasn’t this. “I should have thought about what seeing their family could have done to you.”

Alice sniffed in an attempt to will away her tears. Finally turning to him, she asked, “Are you jealous?” “Jealous?” He studied her intently, and for once she couldn’t read his expression. “Are you?”

“I’ve been jealous of many different people for many different things,” she replied. She’d been jealous of him for his ability to leave. Jealous of Hatter for his hats. Jealous of Lucy for two loving parents. Jealous of Drizella of her relationship with Gothel, no matter how twisted. Jealous of Alice Swan-Jones for seemingly having it all. But that wasn’t the crux of the matter, was it? “But what about you? He has your ship. A wife. Even has his own Alice with her own magic.” “Aye, but she’s not you.” He was speaking in the tone he used to use when she’d cry about how she could never leave her room, the one that said he understood. This time, however, she wasn’t sure that he did. “Alice, there’s nothing in this world that--”

“Can you really say that? I’ve seen the pictures, seen how happy he is. Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t want his life?”

“Not without you,” Papa told her. “Never without you.” Alice bit back a sob, no longer sure if her father was just placating her or telling her the truth. She was terrified it was the latter. “He has his own Alice.”

“Who I’m sure is a lovely girl, but she’s much too young to play a good game of chess,” Papa replied, “and you know how I love a good game of chess.” He was trying to make her laugh, but she was still in foul enough of a mood that it wasn’t working. Besides, eventually the other girl would be grown, and she could play chess. Alice had spied a chess set in one of the rooms in their home. “Alice, talk to me. Would you like the leave? We can set sail as soon as you like.”

And what did she like? She could hardly decide it. She wished to leave and put this behind them, but she didn’t want to run away and hide. She’d done so much of that. More than anything, she just wanted to cry, so she told Papa, “I would like to be alone.”

“Alice…”

“Please, Papa,” she pleaded, and she knew he would acquiesce to her request. He always did. She was right. He sighed heavily and leaned over to kiss her on the head. “I love you, darling, and nothing could ever change that.” And then he was gone, walking away from her just as she asked. Alice felt a sort of emptiness, but she knew she couldn’t face him. Not now, anyway.  Not after she knowing all the pain she had caused him over the years.

“He’s right, you know.” Alice looked over her shoulder to see Emma standing behind her. She wasn’t sure how much the other woman had heard, but she wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. “I would like to be alone, thank you.”

Emma shook her head. “Want to know something about me? I have a superpower. I can tell when people are lying.” She walked over to where Alice was sitting, and took the spot where Papa had once been. “And you, Alice Jones, are lying.” Alice didn’t confirm Emma’s assessment. If what she was saying were true, and Alice had no reason to not believe the other woman, then she would see through whatever she said next. Instead Alice swung her legs, and did her best to distract herself. “I’ve been alone most my life. I think I’m pretty good at it by now.”

“I never spent my life trapped in a tower, so I can’t totally relate, but I do know what is it like to be alone,” Emma told her. Alice scoffed in disbelief, thinking back to the many lonely days and nights wishing for a friend, and the terror she felt when Papa left to search for supplies or more food. “Though they had good reasons, my parents gave me up. The put me in a wardrobe, and I ended up on the side of the street not too far from here.”

“They just left you as a baby?” Alice felt a pang in her chest at the thought of the woman who gave birth to her.

“No one wanted me. I had a family raise me for three years before they gave up. The mother was pregnant, and she didn’t want a kid that wasn’t hers by blood, I guess.” Emma twirled the rings on her fingers as she spoke. Alice wondered if it was a tic of hers.

“So what happened next? Did someone else take you in?”

Emma laughed, but it was a bitter thing. “No. Not long term at least. I was in and out of the system until I ran away. Eventually I met a guy, thought it was true love only for him to frame me for his crimes. I ended up in jail and pregnant.”

“That’s awful,” Alice said, because she didn’t know what else to say. Her heart hurt for Emma and the story she was weaving. Papa had always tried to make her feel wanted and cared for growing up. Emma, unfortunately, didn’t have that. Alice couldn’t imagine how much worse she would have felt if she didn’t have Papa at all.

“Yeah, my life was pretty much a certain kind of hell,” Emma agreed matter-of-factly, shocking Alice with her frankness. She then turned to better face Alice. “I’m telling you this because thanks to a wish, I saw what my life would have been if it had been perfect and I had been raised by my parents and never had to live that life. I grew up in a castle like a proper princess. I still had my son, and I was safe...and I hated it.”

“You did? Why?” “Because that life wasn’t mine. I wasn’t me. Henry wasn’t my Henry. My parents weren’t themselves. It was life, a beautiful, amazing life free of pain, and if I had been the one to live only it, I might not have wanted it to change. But I knew what I was missing, so I desperately wanted to be home where I belonged.” Emma tentatively reached out to take Alice’s hand, and Alice did not pull away. “ You may think your dad’s life is better here, but he doesn’t. Not even a little bit.”

Alice once again felt the sting of tears, and she brushed the sleeve of her shirt against her eyes. She wasn’t embarrassed to have Emma Swan see her cry, not like she would have been with other strangers. Instead she felt a kindred pull the woman her Papa might have loved. “You think so?”

“I know so. Superpower, remember?” Emma’s words made Alice smile a tiny bit. “And even if I didn’t have my superpower, I would still know. Call it a parent thing.”

“Not all parents,” she replied darkly. After all, not all parents cared for their children.

Emma’s face softened. “No, not all parents. But I know Killian Jones, and when he devotes his heart to someone, he devotes it one hundred percent, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.”

“He’s a good father,” Alice said. There were times she thought that no other girl could have a father quite like hers. She still did.

“It shows. His kid seems pretty great,” Emma nudged her. Alice thought she wasn’t acting great, nor did Emma know her well, but the other woman continued, “When Henry visited, he told us quite a bit about you. He said you traveled to many, many places all by yourself, which takes guts.”

“Did he mention Wonderland?” she asked, hoping her sarcastic tone hid her blush. “Everyone only mentions Wonderland.”

“It might have come up. But, hey, it’s someplace I’ve never been, so that’s pretty cool.”

“It was quite the curious place,” Alice replied. She’d yet to visit anywhere like it, which honestly was probably a good thing. “I’m sorry I went a little mad earlier. It wasn’t the best impression of me.”

Emma shrugged. “There’s no need to apologize. If I were you, I would have freaked out a bit too. Your reaction was perfectly normal.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Alice replied. “I’m not always good with other people.”

“It’s okay, not everyone is,” Emma assured her. Alice was beginning to understand why Papa’s other self loved her so much. “So, how about we ditch the ship and take a pit stop to Granny’s? It’s a Storybrooke staple.”

Alice nodded and smiled. “Do you think Granny can make marmalade sandwiches?”

Emma leaned closer and with a conspiratorial smile said, “We’re giving her two versions of Killian Jones. She’ll make whatever we want.” Emma stood, and reached out her hand. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” But Alice didn’t take Emma’s hand. Instead she raced to find Papa and pull him into a hug, to tell him she loved him, and that she loved her life with him.

[stilljumpingback]

(via Black Sails Episode 403 - XXXI)

WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

I love this show for refusing to allow viewers to make monsters out of any of our characters, despite HOW MUCH I want to villainize Berringer.  First we get him looking at pictures of his wife and child, and honestly, that doesn’t move me.  He could be reunited with them if he wanted.  He’s only stayed in Nassau to pursue a course of revenge, committing treason even to do so.

What DOES bother me is his speech about dark men doing dark deeds, and how easily I can imagine the same words coming from Flint’s mouth.

“You’ve given me good men to lead.  I’ll do my best by them.” “There isn’t a good man among them.  Not anymore.  Some of them may have been, before all this.  Some of them may be again on the other side of it.  But right now, good men are not what the moment requires.  Right now, the time calls for dark men to do dark things.  Do not be afraid to lead them to it.”

When Flint uses theater and leads his men into horrific atrocities, I support him because I support his end goal – overturning a corrupt empire and establishing a free world.  But when Berringer uses theater and leads HIS men into horrific atrocities, I am livid.  Granted, this is because he’s supporting that corrupt empire.  And in some ways, the ends definitely do justify the means.  But if we look beneath their political worldviews, in actuality they keep fighting because the world keeps fighting them.  It’s the cycle of vengeance I’ve been talking about.  The truth is, I support Flint because I like him, because I’m invested in his story.  If we’d had three seasons of Berringer’s story, would I emotionally support him in this moment?  Probably.

I do think the show wants us to support Flint, and I do think that Flint’s motivations are deepening beyond revenge to a more genuine desire to create something new.  BUT it is unquestionable that the showrunners want us to remember the power of narrative in shaping our allegiances, and to question why we see some people as good and others as bad, when really, they might not be so different.

FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

Berringer basically tells Woodes Rogers that darkness is inevitable, and we shouldn’t be afraid to use it.  It is SO hard not to think Flint would agree with him.

Mrs. Hudson asks to go home after they’re done in Philadelphia.  Eleanor says yes and they’re both super happy before IMMEDIATELY finding out they aren’t going to Philadelphia.  This is about how everyone’s happiness goes in this show, huh?

Max is losing her power, exemplified by how men can burst into her room while she’s lounging naked in bed.

Maroon:  Whatever slaves are still alive on this island will never fight alongside a pirate again.  Not after last night. Madi:  Last night, there were also pirates who fought alongside us, against terrible odds and at great cost.  Billy and his men are our enemies now, but these men are not.

#TriumverateWatch:  Madi defends Flint!!  And as if the show doesn’t realize that my heart has already burst, the two proceed to have an inspiring conversation as equals and I loooooove them!!!

Madi:  You truly believe it is possible?  That as disadvantaged and disabled as we are, that anything we do here is going to make the least bit of difference to the men in London? Flint:  Well, that’s the trick, isn’t it?  If no one remembers a time before there was an England, then no one can imagine a time after it.  The empire survives in part because we believe its survival to be inevitable.  But it isn’t, and they know that.  That’s why they’re so terrified of you and I.  If we are able to take Nassau, if we are able to expose the illusion that England is not inevitable, if we are able to incite a revolt that spreads across the New World then, yeah, I imagine people are gonna notice. Madi:  “Too much sanity may be madness, and the maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be.”

Madi just used Don Quixote to describe Flint, AND THAT IS THE BOOK MIRANDA USED TO DESCRIBE THOMAS, byyyyyyye.

It is impossible to be reminded of the amazing partnership between James and Thomas and not see Flint and Madi having equally amazing potential.

Poor Anne.  She just wants to get away from all of this and have a boring life, but she’s chosen to partner herself to a man who can’t stop following giants in hopes of influencing them and thus feeling meaningful.

I love Idelle being the level-headed one to Featherstone’s panic.  She trusts in Max’s loyalty and stubbornness before saying they have to help her from the outside.  Eleanor then bursts in to help Max – are we to assume that Idelle told Eleanor what was going on?

THAT REUNION THOUGH.  Silver is about to die, but Flint comes to the rescue!!  There is so much contained emotion going on in these two men, and I can’t even.

Jack has to watch Teach and Anne lead the vanguard onto a spookily “empty” ship.  Why did no one notice that everyone hid themselves?  I’m so upset about everything here, I hate it, stop please.

Max:  You think you can control him.  And by the time you realize he has been controlling you, it is going to be too late.

Max is talking to Eleanor about Berringer, but it’s hard not to imagine she’s also talking about Woodes Rogers.

We know Eleanor is cultured now, because she says, “I beg your pardon, but what the fuck have you got to lose?”

THAT OTHER REUNION THOUGH.  Silver and Madi running to each other, kissing, staring into each other’s eyes!!

Flint is happy for them, but there’s a definite flicker of sadness in his expression.  Whether he’s sad because he loves Silver or because he wishes he had someone like they have each other, I honestly don’t care.  It’s compelling either way!

Eleanor now agrees with Max that the theater of power only exacerbates problems.  I like this questioning whether power exists to uphold order or to boost someone’s ego.

Berringer’s power play of reading the black spot aloud is actually VERY good, and I love how he becomes an interesting villain just before dying.  Because he’s too obvious.  The REAL villain is revealed in this episode to be:  Nice Guy Rogers.

Reader, I HATE HIM.

In flashback, he reveals his dark side to Berringer, telling the story he didn’t share in his book because he didn’t want the world to know what he is capable of.

The real evil here is not what he did in the past, because as despicable as it is, I can forgive a lot that is done in grief (see: my enduring love of James Flint).  What is horrible is that he is committed, rationally, a day before it happens, to doing the exact same thing to Teach and his crew, simply to prove a point.  I HATE HIM.

An admission:  I’ve never actually watched the keelhauling.  The first time I saw this episode, Rogers’ creepy voiceover and the music cued me in that something truly horrible was about to go down, so I Googled what happened to Teach and promptly skipped ahead.  Having listened to other people’s reactions to the scene, I’m super glad I did, and so I did the same again.  I’m so glad Teach stuck it to Rogers by refusing to die, but I do not need to let those images exist in my brain, thanks ever so much.

Berringer refuses to use Eleanor as an ally.  He ignores her suggestion to ambush Silver, thus ensuring his own death!!  What an idiot!

But also thank God.

BECAUSE HERE COME SILVER AND FLINT.  I love the look Flint gives Silver when the guns come out.  This is Silver’s first time fighting on the front line, and as a target, and Flint is concerned.

They seem alone in a small group, but suddenly slaves and maroons and pirates join them!  And there’s a fight!  And soldiers appear on the roofs but they are killed by Billy’s men!  I temporarily forgive Billy, but I’m glad Flint gives him a look during the battle because this isn’t over yet!!

Israel Hands takes out Berringer, which is fitting because he doesn’t deserve a death by one of our heroes.  What purpose does Hands’ long look at Silver/Flint serve?  Is it like, look at me, see my value?

Our last shot is of Berringer’s wife and child, and while I don’t have empathy for HIM, I do for those two.  It’s a good reminder that in all the passion and righteous anger that creates and perpetuates violence, the real victims are civilians.  But…I don’t want the fighting to stop until Flint and Madi’s vision of a free Nassau is realized.

[cwartsy]

Stay. (Alastor/Baxter)

“Go to blazes!” Baxter shouted as he slammed the door in Alastor’s face.

“Cute.” Alastor thought to himself. Baxter must have been so frustrated he forgot a door would do nothing to keep him out. He was in Baxter’s room in less than a second. But did not have much longer to persuade his partner not to throw him back out again.

“Out!” yelled said partner pointing to the door. His mind already made up. Alastor couldn’t help but smile at him. God, he was adorable when he was like this.

“Oh come on, darl.” he said gently, “Don’t be mad at me. All I did was have a few words with your new friend.”

“You must really think I’m a fool.” Baxter growled, “I’m not deaf, Alastor. I heard every word you said to him.

“I just told him pursuing a friendship with you was fine with me. But if he had any other, less innocent, intentions with you then I would have a problem.” Alastor defended, “What’s so bad about that?”

“You threatened him!” Baxter shouted indignantly, “Don’t you dare try to deny it, Alastor! You threatened him because you couldn’t handle it that someone had the audacity to want to be around me.”

“I know! The nerve of that bastard.” Alastor hissed. The air in his mouth turned sour at the memory of seeing this utter sleaze eyeing up his Baxter while sweet, innocent Baxy was completely oblivious.

“Alastor, if anyone should be able to detect sarcasm it’s you.” Baxter said coldly, “Why do you have to be so possessive? What’s wrong with me having a friend outside of our dysfunctional circle of nutcases?”

“All of whom, you love and you know it.” Alastor argued playfully, avoiding the question entirely.

“Yes I do but they’re all barking mad and you know it. And I’m in a relationship with the maddest one of the lot, God help me.” Baxter argued back not so playfully, “I just need a break from the insanity of this place sometimes. I enjoy spending time with Jack because he’s sensible and mellow. With him, I can take a break from, this;

With that said, Baxter shoved his phone in front of Alastor’s eyes. It revealed Baxter had recorded one of today’s earlier events of anarchy. Angel was high as hell, as was Nifty because someone had been daft enough to let her near caffeine again and the rest of the group were fighting with each other. Evidently over who the fuck let Nifty near caffeine, they know what happens. It was the usual madness that went on in the hotel they called home every single day.

This should have made Alastor see where Baxter was coming from. Instead, all he saw was that his Baxter had sent the video to Jack, with a message saying, “Save me”. He slipped the phone out of Baxter’s hand. Pretending he wanted a better look when really, he was looking at the other messages the two had sent to each other.

His mood darkened a little when his suspicions of this asshole were confirmed. Every message he had sent to Baxter clearly showed he was flirting with him. It was almost annoying Baxter couldn’t see it but it wasn’t at all surprising. Since Baxter was pure and good. And faithful too. He hadn’t been flirtatious once, not that Alastor ever thought he would. This was why Alastor wasn’t angry with Baxter at all. He hadn’t done anything wrong. The poor thing couldn’t help it if he was to innocent for his own good.

Alastor didn’t want to tell Baxter who he could and couldn’t see. So he opted to convince Baxter he didn’t need this creep.

“Vaggie is both of those things. So is Arachnis and, to some degree, Husk. Why don’t you spend more time with them?” he debated.

“Alastor, Vaggie is joined at the hip with Angel Dust. One of the main causes of mayhem here. And also, if you think Vaggie is mellow then you‘ve never experienced how short her temper is.” Baxter responded, “As for Arachnis and Husk, I’ll be honest, I don’t think either of them like me very much.”

“Well neither of those two seem to like anyone very much. They’re cold to everyone and shut them out, even the people they care about. I know a certain stubborn someone who has the same terrible habit. How he made a new friend at all is a mystery.” Alastor argued, not realising how mean-spirited his words sounded.

“Look. If you’re not actually sorry, why don’t you fuck off!?” Baxter suddenly snapped, stopping Alastor in his tracks.

Hearing Baxter swear caught Alastor off guard every time. It was so rare and out of character for him to use such language. Alastor learned long ago that Baxter only swore when he was extremely upset or furious. Remembering this made him realise he could be in deep trouble if he didn’t take immediate action.

“Oh dear. Looks like I’ve got a real snappy little piranha on my hands this time.” Alastor cooed, talking to his beloved as a parent would to their pouting child. “Fortunately for me, I know just how to deal with him. Come here, you.”

Alastor made a grab for Baxter but Baxter wasn’t having any of it.

“Alastor, I swear to God. If you think I’m going to let you in my bed after what you did tonight, you won’t be going out the door. You’ll be going out the window!” he shouted but Alastor merely chuckled

“No need to fret, dear pet. I wouldn’t expect anything like that from you when you’re in a mood like this. It’s just that, I know if I don’t do something to warm you up now you’ll be frigid with me all week.” Alastor assured him, nuzzling him affectionately only to receive hisses from his partner in response.

“I have a feeling a few kisses will turn you back into my loving little gourami. And there’s only one way to find out if I’m right.”  

And with that, Alastor ensnared Baxter in his embrace and began pelting him with kisses.

“Alastor, please.” Baxter groaned, trying to push Alastor away. Alastor pretended he didn’t hear him. This always worked with Baxter. Shower him in affection and no matter how mad he would be, he would never be able to stay that way. It had worked every time before, so Alastor continued placing kisses along Baxter’s jawline and cheekbones with confidence.

“Alastor.” Baxter said again, louder and stern. But this attempt to get his lover’s attention was just as futile as the last. All Alastor did was move his lips down to Baxter’s neck. Any second now, he’d be smiling and laughing. Like always. Then Alastor would say he was sorry and Baxter would believe him and this feud would finally be over.

“Alastor, for God’s sake! Could you please actually listen to me for one moment, like you actually give a damn!?” Baxter screamed with a desperation in his voice Alastor had never heard before.

Alastor’s smile dropped. He stopped kissing Baxter and he was shoved away with such force he was nearly knocked to the ground.

Alastor knew he had messed up when he saw the look on his partner’s face. Baxter looked like he was fighting back tears when he exploded at him.

“You never take me seriously when I’m angry! Every time I get upset with you, you try to charm me into shutting up! You just don’t seem to see that there’s a problem. And even if you did, you wouldn’t care enough to try and solve it. Would you?” Alastor wasn’t sure if that was a rhetorical question or not but he thought it would be best not to answer. His everything wanted him to listen, so that was what he was going to do.

“And do you want to know something else, Alastor? Tonight has taught me that you’re like a selfish child. You don’t like anyone else playing with your toys!”

At this point, Alastor was very confused and starting to get upset himself. The harsh words stung but he couldn’t make any sense out of them.   

“What the hell are you talking about?” he demanded Baxter give an explanation.

Baxter took a step back and collapsed onto the edge of his bed, as if getting all of this out was taking all of his energy out of him. He avoided eye contact with Alastor now. He stared at the floor and took a deep breath in like he was mentally preparing himself to say what was really on his mind.

“I’m starting to think that you don’t take me seriously in general. That you don’t care about how I feel. For a while now, I’ve noticed that you often take an interest in something and then eventually, you abandon it. You get bored with it and move onto something else. Is that what’s going to happen to you and me? How do you really see our relationship, Alastor? Is it important to you? Is it meaningful? Or do you just see it as an elaborate game you can play and discard once you get tired of it?!” 

Baxter had struggled to get these confessions out and now, he was curled up in a little ball with his face hidden. Undoubtedly to hide those tears he couldn’t keep at bay anymore. Finally, he ended with a pained whisper;

“Am I just something for you to play with and throw away?”

Alastor just stood there shocked for a moment. He had no idea Baxter felt that way. He couldn’t believe the man he loved thought he meant so little to him. Alastor loved him more than anything. How could Baxter doubt he even cared for him? And who knew how long he had been bottling up these feelings. It was horrible to realise it, but it was clear as day. Baxter was despairingly unhappy. And he may have been unhappy for a long time.

Alastor’s first instinct was to comfort Baxter. He rushed over to him but Baxter just pushed him away. He tried to tell his partner that everything he had just said could not possibly be more wrong. That he had no idea where any of it was coming from and that it hurt to know Baxter thought such terrible things. That he loved him and thought the world of him. But before he could say anything, Baxter cut him off. He pierced Alastor’s soul with watery eyes and said.

“Alastor, I think it’s time we split up.”

Alastor woke up with a start. He sat there in the dark bolt upright, panting and trying to figure out what was happening.

It was night. He was in bed. So clearly, he had been asleep. Alastor immediately checked the space beside him and there was Baxter right next to him. Oh thank God. It was all just a horrid dream.

Baxter woke up the second he felt his partner all but spring out of bed. When he saw Alastor, he became quite worried. He hadn’t seen him look like that since Crymini moved in. Obviously, something was wrong.

“What’s the matter?“ he asked Alastor concerned.

“Nothing.” said Alastor “Just had a bad dream, that’s all.”

Baxter, bless him, was quick to comfort Alastor. 

“It must have been bad for you to wake up like that.” he said with genuine sympathy, “You poor thing.” 

He put his arms around Alastor. Unaware he was falling into a living trap until it was too late. The second Baxter came into contact, Alastor latched onto him and clung so tightly he half crushed him.

If Baxter hadn’t already known something was wrong, he would have now. Whatever Alastor dreamt must have been horrible. Baxter had lost count of all the times Alastor gave up sleep to comfort him after frequent night terrors. Now he could do the same for Alastor.

Luckily, as clueless and awkward Baxter was when comforting most people, he was an expert on comforting Alastor. He knew Alastor was a cuddle monster and stroking him behind his ear practically sent him to sleep. So he provided both for his partner and let him lean on his shoulder so he could speak softly directly into the ear he was caressing.

“It’s alright. he said, “It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. Unless you dreamt about the past, like I sometimes do. If so, it was the past. It’s over and whatever it was, it will not happen to you again. I wouldn’t let it. You’re safe in the hotel with me. I’m here for you.”

Alastor thanked whatever higher power was up there for Baxter. Thoughtful, caring, loving Baxter. Surely he didn’t deserve him.

“Baxter, how you became a demon I will never know.” Alastor told his beloved. “I love you. You know that, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“And you wouldn’t ever leave me, would you? Promise me you won’t.”

‘Why would I do that?” Baxter said, as if Alastor had said something silly. But then he got it.   

“Hold on.” he said, squirming out of Alastor’s bear hug just enough so that he could look at him, “This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with your dream now, would it?”

Alastor solemnly nodded.

“That was your nightmare?” Baxter laughed, making Alastor blush in embarrassment, “Oh Al, that’s adorable. Do you really love me that much?”

“Yes!” Alastor said indignantly, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m sorry for laughing.” Baxter apologised when he noticed how mortified Alastor looked, “I couldn’t help it. This is just precious to me. Now look at me.” 

He held his lover’s face in his hands and made him look him in the eye.

“Alastor, I promise you. I have no intentions of leaving.” he assured, “I love you and I’m very happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. I wouldn’t leave you for anything.”

And to show Alastor he meant it, Baxter gave him a kiss. He had meant it to be a quick, reassuring peck on the lips. But once their lips met, Alastor couldn’t let them part.

When Baxter tried to pull away, Alastor pulled him back for another kiss. And then another. And then the next thing either knew, they were locked in a kiss that could only be compared with their first.

When Alastor finally plucked up the courage to tell Baxter how he felt, he had poured out all his feelings to him. Bared his soul to him and yet Baxter still had trouble believing what was happening. So Alastor tried to get all his feelings through to Baxter with a kiss.

Tender, passionate and loving. It was a kiss to show Baxter just how much he loved him. And now, Alastor tried to improve on that kiss. To show his little ocean gem that he loved him more than ever.

The kiss only ended when their pesky lungs demanded air. Alastor lay back down again but he still refused to let go of Baxter. He merely gently pulled him down with him. He held him close, stroking his hair and kissing the top of his head while Baxter settled down onto his chest. They stayed like that for a few moments before Baxter spoke again.

“Why would you think I would want to leave you anyway?” he asked.

“Because I’m a callous, inconsiderate psychopath who you think has no respect for you or your feelings? And you think I take you for a plaything and I’ll ditch you as soon as I get bored?” Alastor babbled before he could stop himself.

Baxter looked up at him horrified. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“Half of it comes from your own words.” Alastor admitted. “The rest came from the dream.”

Alastor thought he might have made a mistake telling Baxter this when he saw his reaction. He looked shocked and for some reason, sad. A moment later, Alastor knew why.

“I made you see yourself that way?” asked poor Baxter.

“No! That’s not what I meant at all!” Alastor responded immediately, cursing himself for making Baxter feel awful over a senseless dream. “I meant I think my dream was based on arguments we’ve had before when I was in the wrong.

“But some of it still came from the things I’ve said.” Baxter said, hugging Alastor hard, “I’ve said some horrible things to you but I don’t mean them. Maybe I did once but not anymore. Not after getting to know who you really are. I’m sorry.’

“Hey, stop that. You know I can’t stand it when you beat yourself up.” Alastor said, hugging Baxter back. “That was a long time ago, Bax and I was no better. We haven’t always treated each other nicely, but it’s different now. Of course we still fight, just like every other couple ever to exist. But wouldn’t you say things between us are a lot better?”

“There can be no doubt about that.” Baxter said, “Our relationship would never have happened otherwise. Please don’t think such awful things, Alastor. None of them are true. Well, some of it to a small degree admittedly is. You can be callous but only to people you think deserve it. Never to anyone you care for and certainly not to me. When you are inconsiderate, you soon or at least eventually realise it and then you do you’re best to make up for it. We both know you’re not perfectly sane but you are not a psychopath and having a mental disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a lot more common than people think. Nearly everyone here has some kind of problem or another. God knows I do. That’s why this hotel has a hospital in it. Help is here for you and so am I. And Alastor, none of these things make me love you any less.”

Alastor listened closely to Baxter’s words. The more he heard the better he felt. Bless him, bless him, bless him. He always knew just what to say.

“The rest of what you said however,” Baxter continued “is complete nonsense. I have no idea what I could have done or said to make you think that was how I saw you.”

“You haven’t done anything.” Alastor insisted, “I’m not sure where those thoughts came from either. I think it was nothing more than fabricated dream folly.”

“Maybe,” Baxter said uncertain, “but I would like you to bring this up next time you see one of the doctors. Just in case. I have a feeling it might hold a deeper meaning”

Alastor agreed but didn’t mention it in case Baxter went back to thinking he was at fault. He just said he would do as Baxter requested .

“But know this now.” Baxter said to him, “If I really thought you were only using me, I would have ended this relationship long ago. But I’m still here and do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve never thought that. Even from the beginning, I knew how important our relationship is to you. I couldn’t possibly think otherwise after all you’ve done for me. You’ve shown me time and time again how much I mean to you and I know my feelings are just as important to you as yours are to me. You love to see me happy and hate to see me upset. When I am upset, you’re determined to find out why. And once you do, you go out of your way to make it better for me. You’re always performing these ridiculous grand gestures, just to make me smile. You can be a handful sometimes, Alastor but at the end of the day. With you, I can’t help but feel loved

This, right here was why Alastor felt more alive now than he did when he was actually alive. During his final years, he didn’t have someone to make him feel anything except despair and a thirst for vengeance. Everyone he had loved, he had long since lost. But Baxter, he would always be with Alastor as long as he was there to protect him. And he made him feel everything. Alastor was sorry to see Baxter in a place like this. Him and all the other misfits. But as despicable as it might be, he was thankful they were here. To have someone to love again, death and damnation were a small price.

“And you always find out if something is bothering me no matter what. Even if it means hypnotizing it out of me.” he added. Jabbing Alastor playfully.

“I wouldn’t have to if you would just tell me what was wrong to begin with. When will you learn that it’s much better to actually talk to people instead of bottling everything up?” he bantered back, “You know for someone who claims to be terrible at talking to people, you are quite a wonder to talk to. You don’t deny people have flaws. You acknowledge them. You’re honest about them and yet you can still find a way to make one feel better about the flaws they have.

“Do you really think so?” Baxter asked.

“I know so.” Alastor praised, “That’s exactly what you’ve done for me now. Thank you, darl.”

Alastor found himself staring at the face in front of him. God, he lived to see that face. His captivating eyes, his adorable freckles, his sweet smile, even his more peculiar features. like those precious little fins on his face and his cute little fishing rod. Every detail of Baxter’s face had Alastor’s hand caressing it as if it had a mind of it’s own.

“I am so lucky to have someone like you.” Alastor whispered, “I want to keep you forever.”

“Then I will happily be yours until this place freezes over.” Baxter said, still smiling. “You’ll get no complaints from me”

And then, because everything within him told him it was the perfect moment, and because he could, Alastor kissed Baxter again. In the back of his mind, he knew this discussion wasn’t over. There were parts of his dream he couldn’t make sense of. But he knew other parts had been reminders of problems they really did have and needed to talk about.

For now though, the reassurance he had already received was all he needed. He would take the time to sit down and talk with Baxter tomorrow. He knew Baxter would listen and he indulged in the knowledge that he would spend many more nights with the man he loved in his arms. 

[floggingink]

Riverdale: “Chapter Ten: The Lost Weekend”

What damn high school in America: Riverdale High classes begin at 8:30 and last until 3:01, fucking imaginary high schools starting classes a fucking hour later in the morning than my fucking real one

Riverdale English students discuss dystopian fiction as sophomores, fucking imaginary high schools leaving 1984 and Brave New World a fucking year later than my fucking real one

Archie and Jughead continue to, apparently, seamlessly live out of the same room

Archie really, really wanting his parents to work it out after all this time is precious, his baseball-style Henley, precious

Veronica was rich: I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’m ready to guess that Veronica’s black handbag with the lock is an Hermès

“Why does this suddenly feel like a friend-tervention?”

Betty has known Jughead most of her waking life and doesn’t know when his birthday is? Jughead has been keeping that shit under mad wraps

Archie does a VERY good friend-tervention telling Betty about Jughead and the Bijou and how Betty trumps him this year

Fifth period is AP English: Archie forgot until this moment that The Three Musketeers is an actual book. I would posit Jughead as principles-of-friendship-above-all Aramis, Archie as loopy Porthos, Betty as a less-drunk Athos, and Veronica as flashy newby d’Artagnan

Betty-inviting-gang-leader-FP-Jones-to-dinner is but the first salvo in this episode’s artillery battery BEETHOVEN DRAMA OPERA

“Does he know you’re calling me?”: FP’s instinctual “ahhhhah” uncomfortable laugh at Betty “surprising” Jughead; “There’s one thing Jughead likes less than surprises, and that’s his birthday,” wisdom of the elders

how did Betty get FP’s cell? HOW? I don’t care! Riverdale!

Archie immediately shakes his head, like a lot, like emphatically, at Betty throwing Jughead a “low-key surprise party,” the third time Betty is straightforwardly told to leave it alone, Veronica characterizes it as “negativity” as opposed to “life truths about how some people are shy and introverted”

Kevin: Everybody says that and nobody means it. Archie: He fucking well means it

CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!

“lats” apparently are like, back muscles

can you believe Betty marched right over there!!?? Betty full of rage is my favorite Betty!!!!

the shot of Betty clenching her fist at her side like a gritty reboot of the Arthur meme

“I’M NOT GOING DARK ANYTHING.” remember how awesome Betty was in the first episode right before Cheryl sat down at their lunch table and Betty was like “DON’TTALKABOUTARCHIE”?? I’m breathing into a paper bag

Veronica recognizes Dark Betty from across the caf

Ethel’s extremely wholesome lunch of half a sandwich, an orange, a banana

Archie is like…what…at Chuck winking at him…

everyone is focusing their misplaced interpersonal tension on this party and EVERYONE IS GOING TO EXPLODE!! CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK! YES!!!

the same day: “Man, you don’t quit, do you?” “Rarely. If ever.”

her brown skirt!

of course the last time Betty saw Jughead and his father interact was FP showing up late to get him out of questioning at the sheriff’s, so she assumes Jughead seeing FP being there for him is what he wants

Alice’s flowery blouse

“You’re really falling for this Jones boy, aren’t you?” YUP-PER

Betty KNOWS she should tell Jughead about the CHUCK! chlorine/maple syrup drama, but that was Dark Betty! so she doesn’t!!!

“There are some things about myself that I struggle with.”

I haven’t seen a single John Landis movie! but he’s always funny on those Bravo’s 100 Scariest Movie Moments Halloween specials

Archie just informs Jughead that he’s going to the movies with Betty, and Jughead is like, Et tu?

Jughead uncomfortably describing his family refusing to acknowledge their problems, arbitrary celebrations, my childhood

Veronica in plastic cat-eye reading glasses? no, that’s fine. yes. sure, I guess. sure. yes. fine.

@newton-scarmander

Hermione listening to what Veronica has figured out since learning what Archie overheard: is she hearing this for the first time, about the Blossom payments and the Blossoms’ hand in Hiram’s arrest? or is she thinking hard while her daughter catches up to where she already is?

Hermione calls Clifford a “wig-wearing monster,” DAMN

Cheryl’s hair: no ponytail this practice for the HBIC! doesn’t need one!

Cheryl, on being front-and-center as usual: “But of course. I do have the maddest skills on the squad.”

“We live in a democratic society, Cheryl.” no cheertators here! only friend-terventions!

Gay?!: “Who’s cherry-on-top?” VERONICA?

Gay.: stop and truly think about the glory of the dance-off. it is completely unnecessary narratively except to piss Cheryl off enough to want revenge, which could just as easily have come from Veronica tossing a snide remark over her shoulder. instead, literally, before my eyes, a cheerleader-themed ode to sapphism. catered to girls. high-waisted shorts. Veronica’s shirt is tucked in. Cheryl’s So You Think You Can Dance hair-writhing. Veronica’s toned thighs and baseball socks. Cheryl is in lipstick for no reason

Betty knows who won before she asks, has never been prouder, more gay

to be sure, though, where are Veronica and the Vixens going? is practice over?

Cheryl is furious at being overturned, but also on principle that her living mannequins didn’t even have the guts to vote against her

“SHOO, BITCHES.”

Archie is so stressed he is getting out his father’s alcohol at five in the afternoon???

DILTON, DILTON, DILTON IS BACK! I MISSED YOU, YOU CREEP

“our arch-nemesi”: not nemeses? possibly a “Winklevii” reference

Cheryl’s pins: Cheryl has pinned her spider pin onto her white fur

Cheryl eats the cherry-on-top on top of Chuck’s milkshake. oh little does she know. “I saw the way you were looking at me.” LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW

Veronica has a dark sparkly pin on HER black fur

Mr. Sowerberry went to the Bryan Fuller-Hannibal Lecter school of interior decorating for offices (it’s dim af)

Hiram Lodge is so shady he uses “–” instead of an em-dash

does Jughead not eat lunch in the cafeteria with everyone else? why wasn’t this quiet bitch at lunch with them?

Kevin and Jughead “TALK”

Best costume bit: obviously Betty’s crown sweater from Sak’s was knitted by angels just for her, one imagines Jughead’s expression upon seeing it

“What exactly happened between you guys that night?” ALERT!!!!!! JUGHEAD DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE BALCONETTE BRA!!!!!!!

“I only really ask because…he made it sound like you were upset.”

Betty Cooper thematically coded as a werewolf really waters my crops, Jughead beams, cupping her shoulder yyeeeesssssss

Ethel’s scarab beetle pin is back! why was Ethel invited? why not, but like, why was she invited. she seems like an overheard-and-Betty-was-too-polite-to-deny invite

Joaquin is always welcome, but PEOPLE LIKE KEVIN (bitter party rant) thinking that their SO’s being their SO’s entitles them to inner-circle status, thus ballooning the guest list, is what ruins inner-circle-only parties for SHY INTROVERTED PEOPLE

Veronica goes straight to the booze, too! she’s “so over this”! pregame Ronnie!!!

the Andrews have a cabinet in the corner apparently filled with vases

“…this is why we left the double-feature.” Betty just didn’t want to sit through Animal House

Betty’s heavy tan coat is straight from her mother’s closet

Archie is of course a sloppy-affectionate drunk, Jughead not impressed

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica’s tired, lovely “Feliz cumpleaños, Torombolo”

every single thing Cole Sprouse does to get across a prickly, nervous, irritated quiet person forced to go through the script of enjoying something they don’t enjoy: “Thanks, Veronica. Thanks, everyone. Oh, it’s Kevin.”

big hug from Kevin! “Happy birthday, bud!” THEY TALK

Jughead knows how to hug when he wants to hug someone, chooses not to deploy

what a nice handshake with Joaquin. how weird is Joaquin feeling at his gang leader’s son’s birthday party

blue and gold wall decorations

“Damn good coffee”: when the lights dim and Betty turns the corner with that fucking cake lighting up her face and huge blue eyes like she’s a fucking psychotic birthday-fairy and she sings “Happy Birthday” in a warbling tremolo like she’s Marilyn Monroe walking down a human gauntlet to present a hamburger cake to Jughead, who has never seen anything so beautiful or creepy in his life

Jughead is definitely thrown off-course of his misery cruise, for a split-second, by his girlfriend biting her lip, lit from below, handing him a birthday cake, loving him

“That was haunting, Betty” is maybe…..the greatest thing he has ever said…..

for the record, his “I wish it was just the two of us right now” is pointed, not romantic, and Betty knows it

Archie actually does acknowledge that his problems right now pale in comparison to Veronica’s problems, they sad-hug

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Jughead like cannot handle Veronica and Archie, on top of everything, pawing each other

Betty is sent from beyond the veil to be spectacular, but she should not be surprised that “this isn’t exactly your scene.” baby shower for someone else, good. birthday party for him, not good

IT’S ALREADY NOT INNER-CIRCLE ONLY

Cheryl walks through the front door like evil Aragorn. “Without moi?” there has never been a crashed party on a teen show before THIS MOMENT YEEEEEEESSSSSSS

God bless Moose: Moose has the kegs! Moose!!! bisexual Moose!

Jughead immediately flees to the garage with the dog, I have literally done this

I’m sorry, but is Dilton DJ-ing? I MISSED YOU, YOU CREEP

Joaquin’s face at Cheryl and Moose making out

@kevinkeller

“Dude, Valerie just got here. Do you think she wants me back?” ARCHIE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS. THIS IS THE GREATEST ARCHIE YET

JUGHEAD DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT

Sixth period is Intro to Film: Jughead likes John Landis party movies, does not like Seth Rogen party movies

“It doesn’t matter, Jughead. You’re her boyfriend now.” “What does that mean?”

FP came!!!!! Betty invited him and he came! and wrapped a present very nicely, in “Happy Birthday” wrapping paper! dad points! he looks very sober!

I like to think Jughead and FP are doing a lot of nonverbal communicating in the garage, re: “I didn’t think you had this many friends”, “Is this a living nightmare?”

“How…dad…did Betty invite you?”

“She knows what she wants, that one.”

WHAT IS GOING ON with Kevin and Joaquin talking about Sweetwater River? it’s common knowledge that Kevin found Jason’s body there with Moose, right? so why does it seem like Joaquin is starting to feel some new information out? how are his eyes THAT BLUE? JOAQUIN?

FP STICKS AROUND TO TALK TO JOAQUIN AND INTERRUPTS HIM MAKING OUT, LIKE THE GRUNGIEST CHAPERONE EVER YYYYYYES!!!

“We’ve met. Kicked me out of the Whyte Wyrm.” “Good times.”

oh shit you know Veronica has never met Jughead’s father but she knows who extorted her mother!!!!!

Please protect Betty: God fucking bless Betty cleaning up the empty beer cans

CHUCK! is of course a Grade-A creep but he has never been righter that he saw some fucked, dope shit that night

she was like drowning him in boiling water, Jesus!

however NO ONE cares he isn’t getting into Notre Dame. no one cares CHUCK!

Betty’s slap sounds like it had some serious momentum behind it

Chuck is like, Let’s play ball BITCHES. YEEEEEEEEEEES!

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: OF COURSE FP and Joaquin decide to confab IN ARCHIE’S BEDROOM across the yard from BETTY’S BEDROOM, where Alice Cooper is literally using a pair of binoculars to look…..into the window……Riverdale……

she was okay letting the kegger play itself out as long as she could make sure Betty and Jughead weren’t having sex in Archie’s room

“Just doing my job, keeping my ear to the ground.” “And your tongue in the sheriff’s kid’s mouth.”

Jughead literally would have plonked down in the garage and sat there until the party burned out at three a.m. out of spite

THE GARAGE FIGHT. YES. YES. YES. THEY COULD ONLY GENTLY KISS FOR SO LONG. BETTY IS TOO TIGHTLY WOUND. JUGHEAD THINKS HE’S TRASH. BRING IT ON. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES.

Jughead definitely does the preciously-delicate self-proclaimed loner thing where you jealously guard your isolation and make a thing of it, but it’s FASCINATING that he doesn’t consider Kevin (THEY TALK) or Veronica a friend, or at least he SAYS he doesn’t think they’re friends, EH?

I like that the murder investigation and the Blue & Gold stuff has Jughead interacting with worlds of people beyond his usual circle of TWO PEOPLE

also, Jughead, “two months ago I would have actively shunned” them but now he doesn’t, so, this is how friendships…begin. he’s like…friends with these people now. it’s over. it’s happened. he can gripe about it, but they’re all FRIENDS now, YOU TWIT, THAT’S WHAT A FRIEND IS

the little thing he does with his hand when he pauses saying, “I don’t fit in, I don’t—want to fit in” is…genius

@fyeahriverdale

“You did this for you. To prove something.” she did! but you could discuss this calmly, Jug!!! you are going to make her cry!!!!!

Betty does not want to be called CRAZY or PERFECT for the rest of her life or she’ll rip out her own guts

Betty doesn’t think Jughead is a project! she has never asked him to take off his stupid hat! she thinks he’s cute! but he can’t separate the party she wanted to throw that he didn’t want from the party she didn’t want to throw that he didn’t want! HE’S ON A REALLY GOOD DESTRUCTIVE ROLL! JUGHEAD IS AN ANGSTY COCKTAIL OF PATIENCE, INITIATIVE, AND SELF-SABOTAGE! EVERYTHING IS EXPLODING! YES! YES!

he calls himself weird, damaged, godforsaken white trash, which is incredibly overdramatic and very sad and terrifically in-character. self-proclaimed weirdness is never that weird. he’s just a teenage boy and everything makes him uncomfortable and he kind of hates himself, the last of which he may not grow out of

in desperation Betty puts her hands to his face! this has always worked before! PLEASE JUGHEAD

Jughead doubts it: “Until you’re tired of slumming it with me? Or until Archie changes his mind and says he wants to be with you?” AAAAAAAA+++++++++

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: Betty dropping him like an unwanted extracurricular the instant Archie beckons her has been Jughead’s secret, neurotically nursed fear ever since she kissed him back

Betty already used her one designated slap for the evening otherwise Jughead would be getting it, and he knows it, as it stands her big spring flower Bambie eyes fill with tears

his excellent wince as she walks away, he knows he just fucking fucked it up

Archie’s trees have already been TP’d, damn!

the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Archie IS a “hot mess” and should probably get a beer thrown into his face once most episodes

Cheryl could not be more thrilled at what she’s seeing! Melody is like, Why the fuck did we come here? Whose birthday?

Archie, incredibly, panics after he gets drenched and goes to his room and calls his dad

Jughead does not even have the RAM to devote to wondering why his father and Kevin’s boyfriend are standing together in Archie’s kitchen

aaaaawwwww Ethel tries to give Jughead a piece of his cake, he gives her a polite preoccupied “Hey, Ethel, I’ll see you at school,” AAAAAWWWWW SHE LIKES HIM

the Blossom corpse: Cheryl honestly manages to wrangle name-dropping Dead Jason at the party

she locks the front door like she’s Jason Isaacs outside of the church in The Patriot

Cheryl’s a psychopath: Cheryl’s game is literally just standing around discussing vicious gossip, THIS BITCH

the female gaze: there are three boys standing in the doorway by Jughead and their bulging, rippling arm muscles must be paused to be believed

Cheryl’s sheaths: Cheryl appears to be wearing a short velvet dress under her fur coat, and then excellent off-black hose and red pumps

oh you KNOW JUGHEAD DIDNOT KNOW VERONICA’S FATHER BOUGHT THAT DRIVE-IN

hahahahaha Cheryl bringing up the #RiverdaleRealEstateDrama to publically drag Veronica is so…ridiculous. like anybody else cares. except Jughead! and he can’t handle a single thing more!!!!! NOT A SINGLE THING

Joaquin and FP (WHO IS STILL THERE) execute some pretty quiet shifting at all the Hiram referencing

Veronica and truly everyone in the room knows more or less Cheryl did not kill Jason, so Ronnie honestly is just using her sharpest blade for the drama of it all

“THIS IS RIVETING. I CAN’T BREATHE.” I HAVE NEVER EMPATHIZED WITH A GAY HIGH SCHOOL BOY MORE

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WITNESSED AN INCEST ACCUSATION ON A TELEVISION SHOW THIS DAY I AM IN THE COMPANY OF A GOD

Dilton Doiley is a canonically great dancer: “This game is sick. I want to go next.” DILTON, YOU WERE WASTED ON THE ADVENTURE SCOUTS

CHUCK!’s deep Gus-on-Psych’s VW Bug-blue shirt is fantastic, fantastic

Dilton has been sitting on this Grundy connect-the-dots for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, like a snow leopard stalking its prey

These students are legally children: MARY KAY LETOURNEAU

Betty desperately throws Dilton under the bus

KEVIN IS ABOUT TO BITE HIS HANDS OFF

“You may get a free peep show every night, but you do not know her.” EW.

Ethel is sitting next to Jughead, willing herself to take his hand

“She dressed up like a hooker, in a godawful black wig…” SHAME ON CHUCK. she looked fabulous

Jughead is about to put his face through the glass window

Betty in distress is gorgeous, like 1930’s Norma Shearer about to cry

@veronicalodgn

CHUCK!’s incredible prescience that Betty under no circumstances would have told Jughead about that night: “But hey, you know all about this, right, Jughead?”

YES!!!!!!!!! JUGHEAD JUST PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE, YES!!!!!!

Jughead’s right hook is GOOD! his elbow is high, parallel to the floor, solid contact! and you know he has nice arms for being such a weed!!!!

FP is like (HE’S STILL THERE), God Jesus, my fucking kid

YES!!! CHUCK PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE TOO!!!!!!! CAN YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING

of course, when Chuck punches Jughead it’s with the force of like a thousand Dodge Challengers

FP has a lot of experience kicking drunk fucks out of his bar, high schoolers, manhandles Chuck out of Archie’s house with grace, dignity

when FP grabs Jughead by the lapels to stop him leaving, Jughead is honestly about to burst into tears: “What. Want to give me some advice on my right hook? I’m going to go hang myself. I ruined everything. Irreconcilable differences.”

FP calling Betty Jughead’s “girl” is very Southside, Kenickie

Certified pedigree: “Man up” is a stupid phrase, but FP is right, “She needs you,” Jughead listens to his father

the duality of FP Jones, SIDE ONE: The sheriff’s son is gay and you’re gay. Take one for the team and get in there. Am I clear? I will burn your car. Do you like him? I don’t give a fuck. Look at my face. SIDE TWO: She needs you. Be decent. Be stronger than me. Buy her a milkshake. The relationship you’ve never had. I love you.

ALICE IS FROM THE SOUTHSIDE? DID HAL COOPER STEAL ALICE FROM FP JONES, JR.? MY VENN DIAGRAM OF THE PARENTS’ RELATIONSHIPS IS GETTING VERY COMPLICATED

“dressing from the southside” must mean the leather, the plaids? Docs? Jughead’s Chucks?

Jughead’s song is “Uptown Girl” and simply, this is the way it is, it is “Uptown Girl”

“Still hot, Alice. Too bad you’re a stick in the mud.” FP, God. I love you. I fucking love you

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: Alice Cooper with no eye makeup and her hair rumpled, in a hastily-donned coat standing in the middle of the road is SMOKIN’

Jughead walked Betty to Pop’s for milkshakes and calmings-down after giving her the mother of all apologies, the apology of his life

I can’t explain why Jughead is sitting with his head cocked back, showing off his throat, the severe angle of his Adam’s apple, the cut under his eye highlighting his cheekbone, his hair pomaded into a curl along his temple, like a greaser after a bar fight, his arm around his cheerleader girlfriend who loves him despite him telling her he’s no good for her, I can only sacrifice this pair of doves so that it might happen again

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: his hat is off and suddenly he’s like, Juggggheaadddd, which much like…thicker g’s

Jughead hurt and rejected Jughead on imaginary-Betty’s behalf tonight, only played himself

the pink lighting in this diner really brings out the pinks of Betty and Jughead’s pouty cupid’s bow mouths, Jughead’s blossoming black eye, the pair of them have never looked better

you can’t tell me Jughead didn’t get inwardly, guiltily a little bit excited when Betty said she had a “darkness” inside her

the biggest scare between them was never if Jughead would stab himself in the eyes if he got a birthday party but rather what if it turns out Betty is too frightening for him

the emotional porn of the diner make-up scene is truly something else, finally the climax of a slow-burn: the pretty, bloodied-up boy, emotionally raw; the most beautiful sparrow-winged-eyelashes Betty, her well-meaning heart cracked open like a brittle eggshell; Jughead’s hair is so black it’s almost purple; Betty still wearing her totemically evocative sweater; there are no more secrets, Jughead doesn’t care about the pool, there’s a waltz playing on the loudspeakers, Betty confesses that she’s scared of herself, Jughead doesn’t look away from her. and then, in the most tender gesture of affection EVER ON EARTH, Jughead gathers Betty’s tiny needlepoint fingers and scabbed-over palms in his huge working-class, bring-the-straw-in-for-the-harvest hands and, making sure she’s watching him, never having looked more like River Phoenix plus James Dean, kisses them

@dailycwriverdale

nbd but Alice told Betty not to trust Jughead with everything and Betty still ended up showing him the physical manifestation of the crack in her perfection facade and he wordlessly accepted all of it

so they’re both weirdos, but not really that weird at all. they’re just sixteen and everything is life or death. but Betty really does hurt herself, and Jughead kisses her hands, her mess is his mess. they are cellularly, DNA-level compatible

also fucking exhausted. Betty kisses him (IT’S A REALLY GOOD KISS) and their foreheads touch (this hallowed trope) and she snuggles up to his shoulder, but like a going-limp snuggle, and he holds her, and they both just fucking sit there quietly for a few minutes, Jesus Christ

@jonesbetts

Archie & Veronica’s “I’m messed up”/“We all are” is their “We’re all crazy,” of course next they kiss, they’re gorgeous

is Archie really messed up “less than most”? he’s just EARNEST and calls his dad a lot instead of digging his fingernails into his palms, dousing people with syrup, writing creative nonfiction

Veronica is so cool she wears a ring on her middle finger

their kiss is TIGHT and I think they actually have sex!

Archie took the floor!!! a gentleman!!!!!

not enough column inches to devote to Veronica’s incredible cinched cropped top

Veronica descending the stairs to see Jughead reading at an armchair, the pair of them surprising each other, and their mutual goofy smiles, she got laid but good, PLEASES ME to no end, she’s your friend you idiot

Smithers repping for Hermione is why you’re always polite to those in the service industry, because you never know

Veronica used a CLASSIC run-around telling her mom she was at Betty’s. but why would she need to lie about going to a party? Hermione would certainly have heard worse from her

Jughead’s “Long night’s journey into day?” at Archie hungover and mopping is his second Eugene O’Neill reference

Archie > Dawson: Archie is hungover AND mopping

Archie coughing and cleaning up the mess before his dad gets home is a return to the best kind of Archie: a hot mess that wants to be good

Jughead eats: Jughead had a burger at his side at Pop’s in the opening montage, but this morning he’s eating his birthday cake at the island, drinking directly from a quart of skim milk

ONCE AGAIN the Andrews kitchen pulls through: the island has a drawer underneath it for dishes! did Fred build all this cute shit himself? SO cute

“Jug…” “Don’t worry. I’m never telling anyone anything literally ever.” [drinks from quart, pinky up]

…except for the book he’s writing

Betty wakes up hungover looking like Grace Coddington styled her

@shelleyhenign

…she sleeps with a stuffed cat, #Caramel

Alice is putting together some major moves with all the FP-Joaquin-Kevin dots-connecting

Betty drinks decaf skim lattes! Betty drinks skim too!!! for the record skim lattes are a tough sell because the lack of like fat or whatever means it’s thin as hell, so now I just get 2% caramels like normal people because there’s going to be an earthquake soon and Portland will fall into the sea and I want to have died drinking rich lattes

Betty giggles like an angel after her “The last time you brought me baked goods was after you kissed Archie”

Veronica is all caught up on the Jones/Lodge backstory now, right? in past days, I would have relished the fallout of Jughead discovering that it was Veronica’s family who kicked him out of his drive-in, but now I just want these children to have a quiet day at school, and the way they smiled at each other seems to suggest Jughead is past begrudging most anyone anything anymore (literally ever), and he and Veronica can continue their upward trajectory of “BEING FRIENDS”

Veronica joining the B&G investigation is Cordelia Chase discovering Doyle passed his visions along to her

HIRAM DARED SEND HIS DAUGHTER ANOTHER STRAND OF PEARLS, POSSIBLY TO HIS KNOWLEDGE THAT VERONICA RIPPED UP THE FIRST ONE

ARCHIE GOT HIS RED HAIR FROM HIS MOTHER

HIS MOTHER IS MOLLY RINGWALD I’M EXHAUSTED

next week: I thought the mannequins in the Blossom closet were Jason wigs!!!!! but then there’s a white-haired Cliff Blossom looking at himself in a full-length mirror, so they’re wigs for him. Hermione knows he wears wigs! AND SKEET ULRICH HAS SHAVED!!!!! 

[despairforme]

They were getting ready for their first night at the hotel. Grimmjow was already decked out in his pajama pants and that's it. He stretched and arced his back a bit, before a smirk slipped onto his face. Sitting next to Nnoitra, Grimmjow had an idea of course. A hand slid out and rubbed the other's inner thigh, before moving up slowly. He purred softly and leaned in closer, whispering. "Mm," his hand squeezed Nnoitra's dick firmly. He wanted it. BAD. "How 'bout we break this bed in, yeah~?" [AU]

     He wasn’t going to lie - he HAD been looking forward to their first ( or, rather, every ) night at the hotel. Simply because having sex with Grimmjow in such a nice bed would be amazing. Their sex-life was fairly great to begin with ( who was he kidding, everything about Grimmjow was perfect ), but it never hurt to spice things up with a new location. Nnoitra still had to talk him into having public sex with him. It WAS going to happen! At SOME point! Nnoitra refused to give up on this fantasy. Whatever thoughts he’d had about that were pushed away now though, when he felt a hand on his inner thigh. He’d already been looking at Grimmjow. As the other leaned closer, Nnoitra leaned in too, so that he could feel the whisper that followed against his mouth. Grimmjow smelled like the hotel shampoo, and Nnoitra would’ve kissed him, had he not gasped instead, when the hand moved from his thigh to his groin, squeezing him firmly. Nnoitra hadn’t even been hard, but it didn’t take more than a squeeze. He pushed himself a bit into Grimmjow’s hand, and would just enjoy the touching for a moment. Grimmjow usually slept in pajama pants, and Nnoitra did too, and, in addition, he wore a t-shirt to bed. All of this clothing would have to be stripped off ( though, doing it partly dressed was hot too ).

     ❝ Ya read my mind. ~ ❞ A hand was placed on his boyfriend’s chest, and Nnoitra used that to push him backwards, while moving his body on top. Then, a kiss followed. It was deep. There was neediness in it. Nnoitra didn’t know if Grimmjow noticed it or not. In this sort of setting, Nnoitra always kissed him with something more than just ‘ desire ‘. He NEEDED him. Like fucking air. Speaking of air - neither of them were getting any right now, with those sloppy, deep kisses occupying them. Sometimes, Nnoitra would get completely lost kissing Grimmjow, and his boyfriend would have to remind him that there was such a thing as the ‘ next step ‘. Honestly, he could go on making out with him for hours. This time, his mind was set on sex though, so he didn’t get ‘ lost ‘. His tongue dipped in and out of Grimmjow’s mouth, while a hand caressed his stomach He’d always been jealous of these toned muscles. His own skinny body could never build something like that. At least he got to touch Grimmjow’s abs. Nnoitra’s fingertips were a light worship against the other’s skin. He trailed them all the way up his stomach and chest, until he ended at his neck. Sometimes, Grimmjow would complain about him taking ‘ too long ‘. Too much foreplay. Grimmjow liked it rough, and yeah, Nnoitra did too, but he also liked taking his sweet ass time. Every touch he was allowed to give the other was a treat either way, so why not drag it out. Not tonight though. Tonight, Nnoitra had a mission. Something he’d been dreaming about for months.

     He moved back a bit, to lock eyes with Grimmjow, a smirk gracing his lips. He knew what he was going to do next would make Grimmjow laugh. From the pocket of his pajama pants, he pulled out a bottle of lube. Yeah, needless to say, he’d gone to bed with hopes, or, rather - plans. Lube was SO much better to use than saliva, and he would want to prepare Grimmjow properly, so that he wouldn’t have to start their vacation walking funny. After whatever snarky comment Grimmjow would throw him ( there was bound to be at least one ), Nnoitra opened the bottle, and poured a generous amount onto his fingers. 

     ❝ Ya should be thankin’ me, ya know? ~ ❞ He probably wasn’t going to thank him later on though, seeing as Nnoitra was planning on making Grimmjow do something he probably DIDN’T want to do. Mah, for now, he probably hadn’t figured it out yet. Nnoitra’s now slippery hand was pushed down Grimmjow’s pants and boxers. Having done this many times, he was pretty quick about it. That didn’t mean he didn’t take a few moments to rub his fingers between Grimmjow’s ass cheeks. With his boyfriend being so willing, and the amount of lube used, the preparation would go smoothly. It wasn’t like it was long since they’d fucked, and yet, Grimmjow’s entrance was tight when Nnoitra pushed his index finger against it. A bit more pressure, and the finger disappeared inside. Nnoitra would push it as far as it would go. His fingers were long, so that was a plus. Their lips connected again, while Nnoitra began to stretch him, still only with one finger. It wouldn’t take long until Grimmjow’s body would begin to react to the treatment, and, when that happened, Nnoitra added a second finger. He always enjoyed finger-fucking Grimmjow ( just like he enjoyed everything else with him ). There was just something incredibly satisfying about drawing such sounds from him, using only his fingers. Whatever noises his boyfriend was making, would only slip into his mouth, and Nnoitra moaned back a bit, like touching Grimmjow like this was giving him pleasure too ( in a way, it was ). There was impatience in their kissing now, and exactly who it was coming from, he didn’t know. What he did know, was that he couldn’t rush this. Otherwise Grimmjow wouldn’t be able to enjoy the next day, at least not as much, so, he would have to be careful. ❝ Ya like that? ~ ❞ He asked, adding a third finger. Of course, he knew the answer. They had been together long enough to know EXACTLY what the other enjoyed. Nnoitra knew how deep he should push his fingers to make Grimmjow shiver. Even with how well they knew each other’s bodies, nothing ever got boring. At least not to Nnoitra. 

     His mouth left Grimmjow’s, and was now moving down to his neck, to feel his climbing heartbeat. His tongue came out, and he trailed a vein with it, loving how Grimmjow’s skin, though clean tasted just a little bit salty. 

     ❝ Ya know how ya never let me kiss ya in public? ❞ That was one of the differences between them. While Nnoitra didn’t mind a bit of public affection, Grimmjow generally didn’t appreciate it. Which was fine, it was just a bit problematic sometimes, with Nnoitra forgetting that he wasn’t allowed to kiss him or grab his ass. The question hung in the air, while Nnoitra crawled in between Grimmjow’s legs. His fingers were removed, and quickly took a not-so-gentle hold of Grimmjow’s hair. No, he didn’t give a fuck if he got some lube into that stupid blue mess. ❝ Ya probably wanna keep yer voice down then, yeah? ‘Cause I bet ‘da rooms ‘round us could hear ya, if ya use yer voice like ya usually do. ~ ❞ It was impossible for him to choose a favorite thing about Grimmjow, but fuck, he really did love his voice in bed. His goal tonight, was to MAKE Grimmjow use his voice. Make him unable to hold it back.

     He had positioned himself between his legs now. This was his favorite position, tied with having Grimmjow ride him. Honestly, any position felt good, but with this one, he got to see his face. Grimmjow was so fucking perfect when he was all filled up. With the way he parted his lips and threw his head back, only to clench his jaw again. Eyes rolling back or squeezing shut. Every little twitch of his eyebrows. Nnoitra wanted to see it ALL. And that was exactly what he was going to do. Slowly, he sunk into him, using both his weight and a bit of force to push his dick inside him. Grimmjow’s insides were slippery and stretched, yet, they were pressing firmly around him. Nnoitra watched Grimmjow’s face intensely, to not miss anything.❝ Ah– ah— ❞ His eye fell shut for a few seconds. As always, it was too fucking good. This was all so slow-paced, that it could probably be called ‘ making love ‘ rather than ‘ fucking ‘. That was going to change soon. His eye opened again, meeting Grimmjow’s blue ones. Alright, fine, he did have a favorite thing about him. Those eyes. Those fucking sky blue eyes. ❝ I don’t— ❞ Nnoitra had to take a breath. He was filling Grimmjow now, having buried himself all the way inside. He awarded them both with a kiss, letting his tongue slide against Grimmjow’s, hoping to get as much saliva as possible. ❝ I don’t want ya ‘ta keep yer voice back. ~ ❞ He whispered against his mouth. This softness was supposed to distract Grimmjow, while he slowly pulled out of him. Maybe it was obvious what was going to follow. A FORCEFUL thrust, and Nnoitra was balls-deep inside him again in a second.❝ Mh— ❞ What a hypocrite he was being, holding his own voice back like this. ❝ I want ya ‘ta be loud.❞ The deep, hard thrust was repeated. Again, and again, and again. ❝ I want everyone in ‘da fuckin’ hotel ‘ta know yer gettin’ yer ass pounded. ~ ❞ Greedy. He was SO fucking greedy! Was this greed or just the maddest kind of love? Possession. It was definitely possession. Grimmjow belonged to him. ❝ I want ‘em all ‘ta know ya love gettin’ my dick. ~ ❞ Nnoitra never was one to resist a bit of dirty talk. And, if Grimmjow ended up being loud enough, then this almost counted as public sex. A huge turn-on for Nnoitra. The thrusts were deep, but not deep enough. Nnoitra rarely did this, but he was going to do it now. Eager, rough hands flipped Grimmjow onto his stomach, and grabbed a hold of his hips. He’d slipped out of him for a moment, and he squeezed his ass, before taking a hold of his hips once more. Of course, now Grimmjow could muffle his voice against the bed. Nnoitra was up for the challenge. 

     ❝ I want ‘em ‘ta knock on ‘da wall ‘ta tell us ‘ta keep it down. ~ ❞ With that statement, he was back deep inside. This really was a better position for thrusting deeper. With this angle, and Nnoitra’s size, it should be an easy task to hit that sweet spot inside Grimmjow, which would ( hopefully ) make him surrender his voice. Together with moans and ragged breathing, there was the slapping sound of their bodies. Nnoitra wanted it all louder. Deeper. Harder. 

     ❝ ‘Ta’morrow I want ‘em ‘ta look at ya like they know ya got yer ass fucked. ❞ By HIM, because Grimmjow belonged to him. One hand moved away from Grimmjow’s hips, to grab his hair instead, forcing him to arch his back, giving Nnoitra an even better access to his ass. ❝ Ah— Grimmjow—! ❞ He was so hard, and he could feel his release build up. All the lube they’d used was a mixture of itself and precum now, and Grimmjow’s insides were deliciously slick now. Enough to make slippery sounds as Nnoitra pounded into him. ❝ Mmm! ~ Gimme more ‘a yer voice, Grimmjow. ~ ❞ Yeah, he was so fucking greedy when it came to his boyfriend. Sometimes, he thought he really would never get enough of him. 

     ❝ Gimme that fuckin’ amazin’ voice, ‘n I’mma give ya my cum. ~ ❞ He was getting that either way though, since Nnoitra couldn’t hold himself back any longer. Fucking Grimmjow just felt too good.

[protectnevillelongbottom]

Tag

Tagged by @ash-castle Thanks boo!

What would you name your future kids? I used to be prepared for this question, but I lost the list. I know Molly and James were on it, but now that I know Mollys and Jameses in person, I don’t think I’d do that. I like the name Elizabeth kinda. I dunno. I gotta start a new list.

Do you miss anyone? Does my younger self count? Other than that, not much I guess. Sometimes my sister @scarredbookworm

What are you looking forward to? Getting this paycheck! $250 of pure bliss. I can finally pay off my speeding ticket AND eat food!

Is there anyone who can always make you smile? My friend Maggie can most of the time. Otherwise, my cat.

Is it hard of you to get over someone? Sometimes. If it ended roughly definitely. Mostly I just get mad when I start thinking about it again.

What was your life like last year? Eh. Not the best.

What is your life like this year? I got a second job, which is good. But I have to start paying bills and figuring out how to get all my classes done in the next three years though.

Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? H E L L Y E A H

Who did you last see in person? My roommate, because I haven’t left my room since she left.

Are you listening to music right now? I’m listening to Project Runway? The drama is music to my ears, so yes?

Does it have anything to do with what you’re doing right now? Yeah

Personality description. Literally who knows

Have you ever been to New York City? No

Birthday and age? September 23, 20

Are your crushes mainly girls or guys? Yes

Favorite quote?  I have two and somehow they’re both either by or about Vincent van Gogh. “Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.” and “Vincent Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him. Many people thought he was mad and stupid for doing so because the paint was toxic, never mind that it was obvious that eating paint couldn’t possible have any direct correlation to one’s happiness, but I never saw that. If you were so unhappy that even the maddest ideas could possible work, like painting the walls of your internal organs yellow, than you are going to do it. It’s really no different than falling in love or taking drugs. There is a greater risk of getting your heart broken or overdosing, but people still do it everyday because there was always that chance it could make things better. Everyone has their yellow paint.” This just in I’m making an aesthetic board about this.

Something you want to learn?  Sign language! A community college near me offers a minor in it, but I have to see if I’m in district for them. 

Favorite subject? English, sociology, social work, etc.

Relationship status? no

Favorite book(s)? idk

Favorite fictional character? april ludgate

Favorite fictional couple? april ludgate and andy dwyer

Something I’m talented at. Consuming an alarming amount of food in a very short amount of time 

tagging- anyone i’m too tired

[ogiga99]

Guess who’s back in the world of BlazBlue!!!

So I just finished playing Central Fiction’s story mode and HOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAP was that a ride. It was so good I was in tears at certain points. However it was not perfect. After playing it I just have to get out my thoughts about the game out. So here are my ramblings about everything in no particular order.

1. Obviously I miss the dub. While I did get used to the Japanese voices and they were certainly capable of handling all the drama well, the story will forever feel weaker than it could have been in dubbed form. I think the comedy suffered the most because unlike the previous games I never broke out into a full blown laughing fit, even for the Gag Reels.

2. I loved the sub-scenario system. BlazBlue has always struggled with how to present its story in a complete package. CT and CS had individual character stories followed by a True Ending which did give every character a lot of focus but at the cost of us having no single timeline of events, forcing us to try and piece together what is ultimately canon. CP ditched individual scenarios and instead had three routes to spread the focus around but this led to a lot of conflicting or repeated events that had the same problem as the previous games. CF’s system is the ultimate compromise. It has one single path that leaves no room for conflicting material but with diverging points that focus on the various subplots mostly separate from Ragna. If they ever make a new BlazBlue game I hope they keep this system.

3. The events equivalent to Act I of arcade mode went on a bit too long. Ultimately we don’t learn that much from it and all the characters have regressed in their development so we don’t gain anything from them. It was an interesting plot point but it wasn’t necessary.

4. Conversely, Acts II and III went by way too quickly, being pretty much just Ragna’s arcade runs. While later events do treat things as if all the arcade events of other characters happened offscreen (several characters mention meeting Izanami and know to search for Noel) it seems strange to have them all glossed over. Act III in particular suffers because the “Noel witch hunt” that drives it was basically a non-issue. Kagura and Kokonoe find and hide her immediately and she never has a breakdown from everyone trying to kill her. Seemingly important events like Amane reviving Takamagahara (which just gets a token mention during his final conversation with Ragna), Hibiki being willing to turn against Kagura for his desire and Tsubaki learning Hakumen is Jin are ignored. What we got after that was great but I don’t see why we couldn’t have had a few more sub-scenarios about that stuff.

5. I’m impressed with how well they managed to handle the defeats of so many villains (with the exception of Relius who just leaves without consequence and Nu who gets easily memory wiped). Nine, Arakune, Azrael, Izanami, Hazama and finally Terumi all have dramatic and satisfying defeats that don’t feel forced. Before release I was expecting Hazama to simply end up in the background and be held as reserve for a sequel villain once he separated from Terumi but what we got was so much better (granted he’s not dead since he’s almost certainly going to be in Bloodedge Experience sequels). In particular Terumi’s was really satisfying after everything that he’s done.

6. I’m really glad with how the Litchi/Arakune and Bullet/Tager subplots turned out. Despite the game’s focus on Ragna they were both given ample time to play out to their fullest. Litchi finally can move on from her self-destructive mission and Bang was the one to defeat Arakune (like I always envisioned it) to spare Litchi from such hardship (further proof why he is the best character). While Tager doesn’t regain his memories, Bullet can find closure and move on, proving she’s truly grown since she was a rookie. Both endings are bittersweet but they are done really well.

7. I’m not sure how to feel about how well Naoto’s inclusion was handled. On the one hand his role in the climax was perfect, having just one job that doesn’t overstep his importance. On the other hand, I’m disappointed with how little we actually learn about him. Apparently he has been hopping between parallel worlds multiple times to find Raquel but we don’t know how he ended up doing that. We also don’t get any answers to the major questions about him (why is he so similar to Ragna and why does he overwrite Ragna’s existence, what is the relationship between Rachel and Raquel, why does Naoto have that symbol on his chest etc.). I can only hope BE gets some kind of sequel because as is I am unsatisfied.

8. Es was utterly wasted in this game. She probably has less than 30 minutes of screen time in total and doesn’t actually accomplish anything with it. Before release I went on and on about how there are so many questions regarding how she can be here (namely she couldn’t have the Murakumo and the Azure Eyes at the same time and she can’t be outside the Phantom Field while she is the Embryo Storage) and the game answers none of them. Apparently this Es was “created by the Azure” but what does that mean? Is this a different Es that was made with the XBlaze one as a template and if so why was Es specifically chosen? Es mentions her loved ones several times (although she never specifies names outside of victory quotes) so clearly she has the XBlaze memories in some way but how does that work with her very different origin? Why does she perfectly remember her past in story mode but seems unaware of it in her victory quotes with her being confused about search terms in her memories? If it is an Es from post-XBlaze then what happened to the XBlaze world? Was it a “possibility” like the Bloodedge Experience world that disappeared? Was it from the same timeline as the Prime Field War? Should the fact that Es remains the Guardian of the Azure at the end be a good thing or is she being separated from Touya and the others for the sake of her duty. But the worst part of all is that not once in story or her arcade mode does she meet Nine and Celica. The majority of XBlaze: Lost Memories is about Watashi (Nine) and Imouto (Celica) become friends with Nobody (Es) and the ending clearly hints that they will meet again. At the very least there should have been a sub-scenario where Nine ends up in front of the Azure Gate for some reason (like Mu and Naoto did early on) and the two meet again but as enemies. It wouldn’t need to go anywhere, just have Nine doubt herself a little because she would have to fight against another one of her loved ones (which was the focus of her fight with Ragna and her death) or something like that. Heck even seeing Es’s silhouette when Nine mentions her loved ones would be something. It honestly seems like Mori had no idea what to do with Es so he just threw her in with no regard for continuity and it is easily the weakest part of the story.

9. Aside from the Es stuff I did enjoy that there were a lot of references to the side materials since I’m a lore nut. I love how Makoto reminds Es and Naoto of their respective Yuki’s. Hearing more details about Tomonori and seeing Kajun in the ending were great. I was absolutely ecstatic when Nine sees Celica as Imouto during her fight with Ragna, FINALLY being the 100% undeniable truth that the Mercury sisters are the characters in LM. That said, I could have done with just a few more, particularly on the XBlaze side. We should have gotten some reference to Nine using the Phantom Field or had her use the XBlaze in her left eye. Nine’s Overdrive being Burning Red highly suggested that we would see her using the Crimson Grimoire from Remix Heart, which last we saw was with Hazama. Ragna or Naoto should have triggered some memories of Touya in Es (at the very least he needed one namedrop) but most of this is just nitpicking.

10. ALL THE RAGNAXRACHEL SHIPPING!!! After CP had almost no new support since it focused so much on Ragna’s relationship with Celica, this game was the jackpot for the best ship in the series. With the disappearance of Celica and Noel fully accepting her position as Ragna’s sister, the path was clear for Rachel alone. We got great things like Rachel pushing herself to the point where she is close to disappearing just to help Ragna, Ragna being the maddest he has ever been after seeing Hazama torturing Rachel (as in so made he nearly became the Black Beast) and that FREAKING ANIMATED HUG, which was one of the most heart wrenching moments in the game. And of course there is the ending, with Rachel going off to find Ragna again no matter what hell she has to go through despite not even remembering who he is and even leaving her hair ribbons tied around his sword. Just DDDDAAAAWWWW!!!!

11. Speaking of the ending, even aside from the Rachel stuff it was pretty much perfect. It completed Ragna, Noel and especially Jin’s development masterfully and was just the right amount of bittersweet. Every characters epilogue was so fitting. Lambda living as a Sister with Noel is just too cute and I’m glad Naoto got the closure of finding Raquel. Pretty much everything that needed to be resolved was resolved.

12. The ending also had great cliffhangers that felt natural. Relius is still out there trying to complete Ignis, Hazama is unaccounted for (again probably will be the one we saw in the end of BE2), Carl hasn’t saved Ada yet but has taken a major step towards being a new villain as Relius Jr,, Azrael is still alive, merely sealed, Tsubaki has apparently become some kind of new Hakumen (although I doubt she has the Susano’o Unit since Hakumen and Trinity sealed it in the depths of the Boundary), the aforementioned Rachel journey and of course the post-credits scene with Ragna’s sword missing from the grave (implying he might still be alive) and the text hinting at Alpha-1.

And that’s pretty much it for my thoughts at the moment. Despite some complaints I am overall really happy with this game and glad I can finally get back into the discussion.

[jeroldlockettus]

How to Launch a Behavior-Change Revolution

How can a dream team of social scientists get people to exercise more? (Photo: Pixabay)

Our latest Freakonomics Radio episode is called “How to Launch a Behavior-Change Revolution.” (You can subscribe to the podcast at Apple Podcasts or elsewhere, get the RSS feed, or listen via the media player above.)

Academic studies are nice, and so are Nobel Prizes. But to truly prove the value of a new idea, you have to unleash it to the masses. That’s what a dream team of social scientists is doing — and we sat in on their first meeting.

Below is a transcript of the episode, modified for your reading pleasure. For more information on the people and ideas in the episode, see the links at the bottom of this post.

*      *      *

Several months ago, we introduced you to a pair of University of Pennsylvania professors — Angela Duckworth …

Angela DUCKWORTH: Hi, Stephen.

And Katy Milkman …

Katy MILKMAN: Hi!

They wanted to solve a problem …

MILKMAN in a previous Freakonomics Radio episode: A problem that, if we fixed it, could truly solve every social problem we could think of.

The problem is: ourselves.

DUCKWORTH in a previous Freakonomics Radio episode: In other words, the problem with human beings is that they’re human beings and that they repeatedly make decisions that undermine their own long-term well-being.

So Duckworth and Milkman started putting together a project …

DUCKWORTH: We’re calling it Behavior Change For Good with a deliberate double entendre, for “good” for “permanent,” but for “good for you.”

The idea was hatched in response to a competition from the MacArthur Foundation. The prize: a $100-million research grant. But the Behavior Change for Good  project didn’t even advance to the final round.

DUCKWORTH: I was not only devastated. But I was surprised. Arrogance. I don’t know — narcissism. I was shocked to hear that we were not advanced.

But by then, Duckworth and Milkman were already recruiting a dream team of fellow researchers. They’d signed on a bunch of corporate partners. And they’d fallen in love with their project. So: they found some other money — not $100 million, but enough to get it going. Their mission: to determine the best behavior-change practices in three realms. Number one: health.

MILKMAN in a previous Freakonomics Radio episode: Think smoking cessation, healthy eating, increasing exercise, reducing alcohol consumption.

Number two: education.

MILKMAN in a previous Freakonomics Radio episode: Can we get kids to have better outcomes in school and stick to school?

And finally: personal finance.

MILKMAN in a previous Freakonomics Radio episode: Can people make better financial decisions on a daily basis so they’ll have better financial outcomes?

After months of planning, Duckworth and Milkman convened the first summit of their academic dream team.

MILKMAN: Hi, everybody. I’m super excited…

They met in an airy conference room in a sleek building in the University of Pennsylvania medical center. There were lots of psychologists, several economists, a few computer scientists and M.D.’s, some business and marketing professors, an education scholar — and us. So, coming up: an inside look at how to put together a massive research project whose ambitions are even larger.

DUCKWORTH: We think — because this is like the Hall of Justice, with all the superpowers in one place — that we might have a shot at doing something that hasn’t been done before.

You’ll hear some of the problems they’ve identified.

David LAIBSON: We’re spending hundreds of billions of dollars in colleges and we’re not getting much value for our money.

You’ll hear some of the more obvious challenges:

Adam GRANT: Most behavior change is actually not desirable. That’s one of the major things that stands in our way.

And: the risks of such a high-stakes enterprise.

Danny KAHNEMAN: If they fail, that’s going to be quite costly for a long time.  

That’s coming up, right after this:

*      *      *

This project, Behavior Change for Good, is noteworthy — to me at least — because it represents the next logical step in a revolution that’s been brewing for a few decades. It began with the research of Danny Kahneman and Amos Tversky, a pair of Israeli psychologists who changed the way we think about thinking and decision-making. The revolution was furthered by the economist Richard Thaler, who believed that his field should acknowledge that people rarely behave as rationally as economic models predict. That people, as Angela Duckworth says, “repeatedly make decisions that undermine their own long-term well-being.”

DUCKWORTH: … repeatedly make decisions that undermine their own long-term well-being.

And, therefore, that it might be wise to help people make better decisions — for themselves and for society. Maybe it’ll take a nudge. Maybe it’ll mean expanding a choice set — or shrinking it. Maybe it’ll mean redesigning how the incentives in a given situation are set up, whether through smart algorithms or old-fashioned human touch. Essentially, it’s about helping people get the satisfaction they need in the short term and the outcomes they’ll want in the long term.

This is the revolution that’s been happening, a behavior-change revolution. It began in academia, where it has come to be greatly valued. Kahneman won a Nobel Prize in economics in 2002; Thaler just landed the Nobel a few weeks ago. The revolution has been creeping into government policy shops and commercial firms. We’ve talked about this in previous episodes like “Big Returns From Thinking Small,” and “The White House Gets Into the Nudge Business,” and “The Maddest Men of All.”

So yeah, the revolution is real but: it’s hardly mainstream yet. And that is what Duckworth and Milkman want to change. This will not be easy. Institutional and societal change, when it happens at all, usually happens slowly and with a lot of pushback. Also, behavior change is inherently a big ask, especially in the realms they’re going after. It’s a lot more fun to cut class and spend $10 on a cheeseburger today than to go to class, skip the cheeseburger, and invest the $10 for the future. But Duckworth, when she first addressed her fellow researchers at Penn, projected nothing but confidence:

DUCKWORTH: This is actually the best scientific problem and the most pressing social problem that anybody could be working on. We’re honored that you decided to show up and that you want to work on it with us.

She did acknowledge that thinkers from previous eras — from Aristotle to Freud — had wrestled with the problem of self-destructive behavior.

DUCKWORTH: But we’re working in the 21st century, so technology is something that was not an affordance for Freud. If you take any rough metric — any back-of-the-envelope calculation of how much does behavior play a role in urgent social problems — it’s huge. It suggests to us that if we can make a tiny dent in this problem, that there’s the possibility of helping millions of people in truly material ways.

Katy Milkman was up next.

MILKMAN: Here’s the vision: there are lots of people out there running around in the world who would love to change their behavior. Maybe they have a problem with savings or they just can’t get themselves to take their medications or exercise or eat right or study hard. Whatever it might be. They’re out there.  It turns out there are lots of gigantic organizations who are already serving these people — many of whom are our partners on this project.

Partners like Bank of America with 47 million customers, 24-Hour Fitness with four million customers, CVS Caremark. We have unbelievable reach.

So the idea is simple: the researchers gathered here today will partner with those organizations — and others — to run real-world experiments on millions of people that will reveal the best way to accomplish lasting behavior change. The main tool will be a custom-built digital platform. On the front end, it’s an interface between a bank or a fitness or pharmacy chain and their customers. On the back end, the platform is a powerful piece of research software for the academics.

MILKMAN: These organizational partners will market it. Hopefully, these people will come. They’ll sign up for our program. They’ll consent to be part of our research studies. We’ll get data about program participants’ daily decisions. We’ll be able to see what’s actually working. We’ll get that data as a pipe-stream forever. Then, of course, the end goal is to create a solution to Behavior Change for Good with lots and lots of A/B testing.

All the ideas you can come up with, we are going to have room for them. The goal is that eventually this platform will have the capacity to test anything we can dream up, with plenty of power. That’s the vision.

For some people, that vision may be frightening. You might ask, “Why is my bank or gym or drugstore turning me into a guinea pig? And what about my privacy?” This concern may strike others as a bit quaint, given we’re living in a time when billions of people willingly share their innermost preferences with Google and Facebook and Amazon. But still, it’s a concern.

Here’s another concern for some people. When Richard Thaler was beginning to popularize the behavior-change nudges that he got famous for, he called the idea “libertarian paternalism.” To some people, that might seem like a delicious oxymoron. But others might say … “Yuck! I like to make my own decisions, thank you very much, so I don’t need your paternalism.” Or they might just think: “Libertarians are right-wing kooks! Or left-wing kooks! Or something kooky!”

In any case, Duckworth and Milkman believe that the benefits of their behavior-change project will far outweigh the costs. And so, to get their summit rolling, they opened up the floor to a discussion about the digital platform they’re building, and how it would affect study design. Things got pretty nerdy real fast.

LAIBSON: How are you thinking about differential attrition?

Bridget TERRY LONG: Can we partition the data?

David ASCH: There would be some studies that might have more specific eligibility criteria.

MILKMAN: Yeah, that’s a fantastic question.

During the first break, I caught up with Duckworth and Milkman.

Stephen J. DUBNER: Briefly describe what just happened, your opening session.

DUCKWORTH: We grathered the scientists that we have been —

DUBNER: You grathered them?

DUCKWORTH: I grathered them. Yeah, we grathered them. Sorry.

DUBNER: Is that an academic term I’m not familiar with?  

DUCKWORTH: Let’s try again. We gathered the scientists on our team to meet together for the first time. We presented to them an overview of what we hoped, both in the poetic terms of the sublime dream of solving behavior change and then also in the very practical terms of the digital platform that we’re building.

DUBNER: And Katy, talk about what the next 48 hours is meant to really accomplish.

MILKMAN: We’re trying to get into the innards of this platform we’re building and make sure that it’s flexible enough to allow the scientists to test everything they might want to test — to dream up any population they might want to recruit — and to make sure we’re not making statistical mistakes that would be insurmountable and prevent us from accurately examining the evidence we collect.

DUBNER: Typically, this kind of a conversation [is] about features that should be different or that aren’t there or concerns, et cetera. Is that about what you’re expecting at this stage?

DUCKWORTH: Yeah. People had questions about the features, but they also had questions about the study design. I would say half of them were ones that we thought about and the other half were ones we hadn’t.

DUBNER: That’s really valuable, then.

MILKMAN: That was gold. That was the most incredibly valuable 60 minutes we’ve had since we started this project.

DUBNER: Give me one that stood out. Either of you.

MILKMAN: We had thought about it, but I really like the point that some people may want to zoom in on a particular type.

LONG: With education, you might be trying to target a particular student, for example, students who struggle in math. Can we use partner data to target recruitment?

MILKMAN: That’s exactly something we have to be flexible and allow on our platform. We haven’t solved it yet.

DUCKWORTH: One of the points that David Laibson, the economist, brought up —

LAIBSON: As the incentives get absolutely de minimis if we pay them so little, some of them are gonna —

MILKMAN: Be de-motivated.

LAIBSON: Feel manipulated.

DUCKWORTH: When you give people incentives, all you think about is increasing their motivation. But when the incentives are paltry, you can actually have a backfiring. People look at this tiny amount of money and they’re now going to be less motivated than they were if you had given them nothing.

Milkman pointed out one more feature of the opening session.

MILKMAN: Lots of people in this room have actually never met before. Many of them don’t know one another’s work because this is such a cross-disciplinary group. This is going to be the time when the minds meet and actually hear from one another about their decades of research and insights. Hopefully, it’ll spark some amazing collaborations.

Back to the conference room now for a series of speed talks. Where the researchers would give a thumbnail view of themselves and their specialties. Among the first ones: Adam Grant, the organizational psychologist, and author, from Penn’s Wharton School of business.

GRANT: Good morning, everyone. It’s always a treat to come together with a great group of underachievers.

Grant has already done a lot of work on behavior change.

GRANT: Most behavior change is actually not desirable. That’s one of the major things that stands in our way. The thing that we’re trying to convince ourselves or others to do is not actually something that we want to do or that they want to do. That got me wondering: instead of highlighting all the benefits of changing for the self, what if we focus more on the benefits to others?

Instead of personal benefits, what if we highlighted prosocial benefits of behavior change?

Grant has seen evidence of this effect in his own research — in trying to get fund-raisers to work harder, to get doctors to wash their hands more often and lifeguards to be more attentive.

GRANT: I’m curious about whether, if we educate people about behavior change and the underlying processes that drive it, is it then easier to change their attitudes? It’s an open question, but I hope this group is able to figure it out.

Wendy Wood, a professor of psychology and business at the University of Southern California, studies habit formation.

Wendy WOOD: One of the things that initiated this conference is that the scientific field is really good at some things and not so good at others. The things that we’re really good at right now is changing behavior in the short term. We’re also really good at changing people’s knowledge and beliefs. We’re not so good at changing long-term behavior.

How about an example?

WOOD: OK. One is the five-a-day fruits and veggies. Anyone remember this? This was really successful in one way. It was a tremendously large-scale intervention. It was successful at changing our knowledge. We now know that we should eat more fruits and vegetables. It had no effect on behavior. In fact, consumption has gone down since the program started.

Yikes. The challenge of changing behavior long-term was echoed by Todd Rogers, a behavioral scientist at Harvard.

Todd ROGERS: Most treatment effects don’t persist. Sometimes they do and when they do we have no idea why. It’s hard to predict which will persist and which won’t.

The economist David Laibson, also at Harvard, used his speed talk to cover a particular problem he’s identified in his classroom: the use and abuse of laptop computers.

LAIBSON: There’s a huge negative externality for other students in the class. You’re sitting there and the person next to you is clattering away. You’re distracted by the sound, you’re occasionally looking at their screen, and then it makes you want to look at Facebook too. There’s all sorts of problems like that.

It’s a classic short-term versus long-term dilemma:

LAIBSON: The web offers instant gratification that undermines our very good intentions to get the most out of class, and that’s all about present bias. We go into the classroom and we are convinced, “I am going to be a good student.” Suddenly, other things become very appealing and very tempting. We’re distracted by those other very gratifying opportunities. Suddenly, we’ve lost 45 minutes of the 50-minute lecture.

Laibson sees this as a small-ish problem with potentially huge ramifications.

LAIBSON: We’re spending hundreds of billions of dollars in colleges and we’re not getting much value for our money.

So, what are the possible solutions to the laptop dilemma?

LAIBSON: We could have a laissez-faire policy. Students are adults when they reach college age. Let them decide. We could have an educational intervention. We could explain all these issues. We could ban laptops. I’ve thought about all these. I don’t really love any of these options. Let me offer a different alternative, one that we could actually as a group test or think about testing.

And what is this alternative?

LAIBSON: In my class, at Harvard, we have an opt-in laptop policy.

I caught up with Laibson afterward to hear some more about this.

DUBNER: David, you were talking about a project of yours, which prompted, for me, many questions. I recorded said questions on my laptop, so I proved the value of my laptop right there. But can you talk about what you were describing and then where you want to go with that?

LAIBSON: I love the point that the laptop was good for you. For a lot of people in a lecture hall, it’s actually a distraction. For some people in a lecture hall, it’s exactly what they need to take notes, to look up related information. It complements their experience rather than destroying it. The problem is, how do we separate the wheat from the chaff?

DUBNER: Could you give like a 60-second summary of your pilot study?

LAIBSON: We have two sections in class. One section is for people who don’t want to use a laptop and don’t want to be around others using a laptop. Then we have another section which is the laptop section. Our view is that different students should choose one or the other section. Our concern is that if we just let students, in real time, make the choice — sitting down, “What do you want to do right now?” — a lot of people would flip open their laptop because the temptation is overwhelming.

What we do is tell our students at the start of this semester, “It’s up to you. Tell us if you want to be in the laptop section and we’ll assign you to that section. There’s a deadline for making that decision and once you make the decision, it’s final.” For everyone else who doesn’t opt into the laptop section, they’re defaulted into this no-laptop section. What we find is that about 80 percent of our students stay with the default of being in a non-laptop section.

When we survey our students at the end of the year and say, “Did this policy of having these two sections facilitate your learning?” On a zero-to-ten scale, the average rating is a little over 8. It’s about letting people choose for themselves, but letting them choose in a deliberative, thoughtful, careful way at the start of the semester. Then, once they’ve committed to one path or the other, letting that decision have its consequences.

DUBNER: You want to replicate or enlarge this exact study, yes?

LAIBSON: Yeah. Right now, we’ve got an anecdote. It should be replicated across dozens of courses and there should be much more careful efforts to actually measure whether it’s affecting learning, whether students value this, or whether students feel that this is inappropriate paternalistic behavior on our part.

And so it went for the rest of Day One of Behavior Change for Good. Lots of spitballing about methodology, potential research ideas, and more. A few quick observations: I heard more than I would have thought I’d hear about shifting the theoretical framework of decision-making — and less than I would’ve thought about basic incentives like gamification. But, let’s be realistic: these are a bunch of top-tier academic researchers; theoretical frameworks is how they got to where they are!

I also heard less than I would’ve thought about one of the inherent challenges in all behavior-change research: that the people most responsive to behavioral nudges are often the ones who already have a pretty decent track record with self-discipline and delayed gratification. It’s sort of the behavioral equivalent of pharmaceutical trials using the least-sick patients they can find.

And one more thing: every conference I’ve ever been to gets behind schedule. It’s just the way it is. Somehow, I thought this one would be different. I thought that a bunch of people trying to teach the rest of us how to, say, use our time wisely, that they might have some magical time-management tricks. But they didn’t. Which proves, if nothing else, that these behavioralist wizards are, like us, human.

*      *      *

Day Two of the Behavior Change for Good conference began with breakout sessions. Researchers from different fields talking about designing smart experiments to help people stay fit, eat better, get out of debt, and so on.

DUCKWORTH: My team focused on getting high school students to study more for the SAT. We went from the mundane to the sublime.

Here is Duckworth and David Yeager, a psychologist at the University of Texas, Austin.

David YEAGER: Maybe if you capitalize in some wave of motivation to study, like, right after the PSAT. Get it at a time —

DUCKWORTH: When they’re not conflicted between —

YEAGER: When there’s not an academic conflict.

DUCKWORTH: Right.  

YAEGER: One thing I’m seeing emerging is to not fight the tendency to be performance-oriented in SAT prep but invite people to be mastery-oriented in their preparation skills.

DUCKWORTH: Is it possible to do a random assignment experiment delivered through Qualtrics and through texting to half of the kids and not the other half?

YAEGER: That is possible here and then that would give you a model for thinking about the content of the text messages, right?

I caught up with Duckworth afterwards.

DUCKWORTH: We spent a lot of time figuring out, “How many kids? Are they kids from disadvantage…” It was very tactical. But we ended with the sublime, which is, “What is the rite of passage to adulthood in America?” There really isn’t one. Could we use this challenge as a way of reframing the transition from high school to college in a way that would actually give kids an “on ramp” to that? As opposed to dropping them into this thing called young adulthood on a college campus somewhere where they have no support.

DUBNER: OK. What happens next?

DUCKWORTH: The next step for our group is that we will prepare a random-assignment study for high-school seniors who are taking the SAT this October.

And what was Katy Milkman’s breakout session about?

MILKMAN: My team was diving into an actual study design for a random-assignment trial, trying to help people exercise more regularly.

Among Milkman’s group were Lauren Eskreis-Winkler, a postdoc fellow in psychology at Penn; and Ayelet Fishbach, a professor of behavioral science and marketing at the University of Chicago.

Lauren ESKREIS-WINKLER: Ayelet, I know you have some studies where you make it fun by adding music. Why are they finding fun by doing an exercise? Couldn’t they just bring music or —

MILKMAN: Yeah, that’s a good point. We could could give them strategies for making workouts fun.

ESKRELS-WINKLER: Other ways to make it fun.

FISHBACH: They have earbuds, right?

MILKMAN: I’m trying to think with a treatment. Imagine we tell them to try these different exercises. We tell them to try doing them while listening to music or audiobooks or watching TV shows.

FISHBACH: We could, yes. The thing that we will find there is that you can watch a TV show more easily, maybe, while biking than running.

MILKMAN: Right. Probably also not when swimming.

FISHBACH: Not a TV show, but the music.

Edward CHANG: You can listen to music while swimming.

MILKMAN: You can?

And I chatted with Milkman after her session.

DUBNER: What about making the activity itself more fun, or less intimidating? How do you make it more fun for someone who’s not acclimated?

MILKMAN: We actually decided that our design should have two elements: one element is focusing people either on the fun or on what’s most effective. That would be one thing we’d test, A versus B. The second element would be rewarding people for exploring different activities at the gym and then reporting back to us and seeing if having them go through that coaching process could help them zoom in on what’s right for them in a way that would lead them to form a more sustainable exercise habit.

DUBNER: Great. What happens next?

MILKMAN: What happens next is we go back and forth a lot of times on the draft — we literally put together in the last hour and a half — of materials. Then, we do a heck of a lot of piloting to make sure that our questions all make sense. Then, we do more piloting, and then we launch.

DUBNER: You[‘ll] launch with how large a population?

MILKMAN: We’ll launch with thousands of people and our aimed-for launch date is January of 2018, when people will be eager to sign up for a program that helps them exercise more.

DUBNER: The partner on this is who?

MILKMAN: We have two partners on this: 24 Hour-Fitness and Blink Fitness.

As a result of the work on this day, and in the weeks to follow, the Behavior Change for Good project would line up a great number of pilot studies that will kick off in early 2018. They would also come up with a few million more dollars to fund their project, and they’d add some other big names to their roster of research scientists. For this first summit, meanwhile, the highlight was undeniable: it was a long chat and Q&A with the psychologist Danny Kahneman.

DUCKWORTH: Danny Kahneman is not only the elder statesmen of behavioral science, but he’s also our Beyonce. We were just overwhelmed with joy and gratitude when he said, “I will come and close out this session.”

Kahneman’s moderator was Max Bazerman, himself a most distinguished scholar. He teaches business administration at Harvard and has written many landmark pieces on decision-making, ethics, and negotiation.

Max BAZERMAN: By the way, I’m nervous. Somehow, interviewing Danny makes me nervous.

KAHNEMAN: Now you’re making me nervous.

Bazerman began with a brief overview of Kahneman’s research, most of it done with his late collaborator Amos Tversky. The two of them were the subject of Michael Lewis’s book The Undoing Project, which Lewis discussed on this program in an episode called “The Men Who Started a Thinking Revolution.”

LEWIS in a previous Freakonomics Radio episode: It is incredible to me how many different spheres of human existence these guys’ work has touched and influenced.

Now, Max Bazerman again:

BAZERMAN: I realize that most of the people in this room don’t remember the 1970s, when —

KAHNEMAN: At least not clearly. 

BAZERMAN: At least not clearly. [Laughter] But there was a time when, after your ‘74 paper where psychologists became acutely aware of your work. Economists weren’t paying too much attention. Then, eventually, the behavioral economics movement starts. But throughout the last millennium, this was more of an academic literature.

In this millennium, we’ve seen this robust movement into the real world by groups that do research like the members here, by the Behavioral Insight teams. How do you explain the shift from academic to intense real-world interest?

KAHNEMAN: Behavioral economics, as it currently exists, started in a bar.

That’s right — behavioral economics started in a bar. Danny Kahneman and Amos Tversky were having drinks with Eric Wanner, future president of the Russell Sage Foundation.

KAHNEMAN: And Eric said that he wanted to bring psychology and economics closer together. He wanted our advice as to how he should go about it. I remember telling him, “You shouldn’t spend any money on psychologists who want  to influence economics. You should look for economists who might be interested in what psychology has to say.” Now, there was such an economist, and his name is Richard Thaler.

You’ve heard Richard Thaler before on this program too.

Richard THALER in a previous Freakonomics Radio episode: I’m a professor of economics and behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. I’ve never had a real job.

And it was Thaler, Kahneman says, who put the economics in behavioral economics.

KAHNEMAN: The very first grant that Eric Wanner gave — when he became president of the Russell Sage Foundation — was for Dick Thaler to spend a year with me in Vancouver. I was at the University of British Columbia at the time.

After a time, Thaler began writing a column called “Anomalies” in The Journal of Economic Perspectives at the suggestion of its editor, Joseph Stiglitz.

KAHNEMAN: Dick published “Anomalies” for years. They cast doubt on the basic rational-agent model — systematically, without preaching. Just the facts. That had a huge impact. When you ask, “How did behavioral economics happen?” It’s an accident. All accidents. There was that meeting in a bar, then there was that year in Vancouver, and then there was Joe Stiglitz having an idea about “Anomalies.” 

Now the conversation turned to the Behavior Change for Good project.

BAZERMAN: What most of the folks in this room have been talking about is how they get behavioral change that occurs to actually stick and last over time. Give us wisdom on this topic.

KAHNEMAN: I won’t give you wisdom. But I’ll cite the idea that, for me, is the best idea I ever heard in psychology. I heard it as an undergraduate. It’s the story of how you induce people to change their behavior, as taught by Kurt Lewin. Now, he is my intellectual grandfather.

Kurt Lewin was a German-American psychologist who in the early 20th century developed several ideas that became central to modern psychology. Among them: that people’s behavior is strongly driven by two main external forces.

KAHNEMAN: There are driving forces that drive you in a particular direction. There are restraining forces. Which are preventing you from going there. The notion that Lewin offers is that behavior is an equilibrium between the driving and the restraining forces. You can see that the speed at which you drive, for example, is an equilibrium. When you are rushing some place, you feel tired, or you’re worried about police. There is an equilibrium speed. A lot of things can be described as an equilibrium between driving and restraining forces. Lewin’s insight was that if you want to achieve change in behavior, there is one good way to do it and one bad way to do it. The good way to do it is by diminishing the restraining forces, not by increasing the driving forces. That turns out to be profoundly non-intuitive.

In most cases, Kahneman explained, we try to change people’s behavior with a mish-mash of arguments, incentives, and threats.

KAHNEMAN: Diminishing the restraining forces is a completely different kind of activity, because instead of asking, “How can I get him or her to do it?” it starts with a question of, “Why isn’t she doing it already?” Very different question. “Why not?” Then you go one by one systematically, and you ask, “What can I do to make it easier for that person to move?” 

It turns out that the way to make things easier is almost always by controlling the individual’s environment, broadly speaking. By just making it easier. Is there an incentive that work against it? Let’s change the incentives. If there is social pressure? If there is somebody who is against it, I want to influence B. But there is A in the background, and it’s actually A who is a restraining force on B. Let’s work on A, not on B. I have never heard a psychological idea that impressed me quite as much as this one, perhaps because I was at an impressionable age.

The floor had by now opened up to questions for Kahneman, and I took my shot.

DUBNER: This is a primordial question, but is it just part of human instinct — the assumption that driving works better than restraining? Is it a little dictator complex that we all have — not only about ourselves, but others?

KAHNEMAN: It seems to be that it’s a natural thing to do. That is, when you want to move an object, you move it. When you want to move somebody, you try to move them. But the idea of looking at the situation from that individual’s point of view, which is the only way that you can find restraining forces, that is really not very natural. It is primordial. It is very basic that when we want things to move, we move them.

BAZERMAN: Katy?

MILKMAN: One of the things I was thinking about is the risk of over-promising. Every few years, I hear people worrying about, “Have we over-promised what psychology can contribute to policy and are people expecting too much from things like The Nudge Unit relative to what they can deliver?” I’m curious, as we embark on this massive adventure, how you think about those risks and managing expectations while doing this in a very public way?

KAHNEMAN: There is a real social problem that if you realistically present to people what can be achieved in solving a problem, they will find that completely uninteresting. You have to over-promise in order to get anything done. That is part of it. You take a problem like poverty. President Johnson was about to solve the problem and if — at the realistic objective, which is to reduce this by 12% and to increase that by 5% then, and so on. People would’ve said, “That’s trivial. We want to solve the problem.” Over-promising is part of the game, you know? You can’t get anywhere without some degree of over-promising.

LAIBSON: David Laibson.

KAHNEMAN: I know you.

LAIBSON: I agree that over-promising has the virtue that accelerates the initial effort. But it has the cost that it undermines the ongoing effort. In light of all the work you’ve done explaining the psychological biases  —  like the planning fallacy and other biases, that lead us to over-promise, not because we’re doing it as a rational sophisticated strategy, but rather as a psychological error — I’m surprised to hear you saying today that over-promising is a wise strategy. I would have thought —

KAHNEMAN: I never used the word “wise strategy.” 

LAIBSON: Ah. But you said it was necessary. 

KAHNEMAN: I was saying it’s very unlikely to happen otherwise. When you look at big successes, the people who carried out those big successes were unreasonably optimistic, typically.

LAIBSON: But are you recommending that we over-promise? Or are you saying it just happens to be a coincident — 

KAHNEMAN: I’m just saying you are probably going to over-promise, for a lot of good reasons.

LAIBSON: Okay, that I agree with.

KAHNEMAN: I wouldn’t fight you on this.? That’s not the worst thing that I happen I think, because it may be necessary to get the resources. It may be necessary to get the initial enthusiasm that is needed to do anything at all. There is so much inertia that realistic promises are at a major disadvantage. They’re at the major disadvantage because everybody else is over-promising. 

After Kahneman’s talk, Freakonomics Radio producer Greg Rosalsky and I caught up with Kahneman in the hallway.

ROSALSKY: Obviously, the people who are organizing this conference, they’re very dedicated. They’re disciplined. A lot of the experiments they’re designing are on the general public. Do you have any lessons when thinking about incentives, how to design incentives or experiments or interventions, in general, when there’s a mismatch between the people who are designing incentives and the people who the incentives are for?

KAHNEMAN: People who cannot identify with their subjects have no business doing interventions or experiments. I have very little sympathy for those. You’re using the word ‘incentives’ more often than I would. Incentives are really only part of the story.

ROSALSKY: ‘Intervention,’ maybe, would be a better [term].

KAHNEMAN: Yeah. What we have to get used to is that we’ll design the interventions as powerful as we can make them and then they will have small effects. In some ways, people [who] do this should be aware ahead of time that, “Yes, we hope it’s going to have a practically significant effect and it will not solve the problem.”

ROSALSKY: Early on in your career you were doing a lot of real-world applications of your theories, in the Israeli military and in other places. That environment versus doing it cloistered away in academia — do you think there are any lessons that could be learned for this project?

KAHNEMAN: Well, I was always interested in the real world. I never saw a real difference. All the effects that I studied, certainly in the domain of judgment and decision-making, were real effects that I expected would replicate in the real world. They were based on personal experiences. I find this completely natural.

DUBNER: Let me just ask one last question: I don’t know how much you know about Angela and Katy’s project. It’s extremely ambitious. They have partners from big banks to big educational institutions, fitness firms. They have access to thousands, maybe millions of customers. They’re bringing together all these researchers to try to come up with interventions. It’s hugely ambitious. There are many layers to get it to success. Talk just for a minute about what you think are the odds that it will work or what dimensions it may work on or where they might be frustrated?

KAHNEMAN: What you can hope for is what is called practically significant improvement, which is usually a few percent. If you get a few percent at relatively low cost, that’s a success. But naturally, you have to want more and you have to settle for what you get. The fact that they are working on a large scale is hugely important. That’s a new departure and that very fact, especially if they’re successful — if they fail, that’s going to be quite costly for a long time. But I think that they will have at least partial success. The ideas are good. They are good. Something good will happen.

“Something good will happen”? Maybe. On the other hand, he also says: “If they fail, that’s going to be quite costly for a long time.” I asked Angela Duckworth whether Danny Kahneman’s assessment scared her off. After all, she’s devoting most of her professional life for the next couple years to this project.

DUCKWORTH: My favorite poem is Rudyard Kipling, “If.” The second line is, “If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too.” In other words, “Do what you’re going to do. But when someone says there are 19 problems you haven’t thought of, write them all down and then solve them.”

DUBNER: Thank you for giving us an ending to the episode, Angela. It was very nice of you.

We’ll be keeping tabs on the Behavior Change for Good project, and we’ll let you hear about it in future episodes. Meanwhile, coming up next time on Freakonomics Radio: I’m guessing you’ve heard about the concern that companies like Google, Facebook, and Amazon have gotten too powerful for the public good:

Barry LYNN: They have developed the capacity to manipulate us, to control us, to control the information that is delivered to us.

We’ll get into that primary issue. But also the secondary issue of how firms like these are shaping public opinion by spending lavishly on think tanks and foundations.

Franklin FOER: That’s become relevant because they fired a vociferous critic of Google from the foundation.

With a controversy like this, there are bound to be differing views:

Anne-Marie SLAUGHTER: We do not pay to play. We take funding and we do our work. Those two things are separate.

How philanthropic is this kind of philanthropy?

Robert REICH: I don’t think philanthropists deserve that amount of charity. Power deserves scrutiny in a democratic society, not gratitude.

The hidden side of corporate philanthropy. That’s next time, on Freakonomics Radio.

Freakonomics Radio is produced by WNYC Studios and Dubner Productions. This episode was produced by Greg Rosalsky with help from Harry Huggins. Our staff also includes Alison Hockenberry, Merritt Jacob, Stephanie Tam, Eliza Lambert, Emma Morgenstern, and Brian Gutierrez; we had help this week from Sam Bair.  Special thanks to Laura Zarrow, Kelly Hughes, Valorie Nash, Octavian Busuioc, Vivian William, and Tanya Gulati for helping us with the conference. The music you hear throughout the episode was composed by Luis Guerra.  You can subscribe to Freakonomics Radio on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also find us on Twitter, Facebook, or via email at radio@freakonomics.com.

Here’s where you can learn more about the people and ideas in this episode:

SOURCES

Daniel Kahneman, professor of psychology at Princeton University.

Angela Duckworth, professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania; founder and CEO of Character Lab.

Katherine Milkman, associate professor of operations, information and decisions at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.

Max Bazerman, professor of business administration at Harvard Business School.

Adam Grant, professor of management and psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.

David Laibson, professor of economics at Harvard University.

David Asch, professor of medical ethics and health policy at the Wharton School of the University of the University of Pennsylvania.

Todd Rogers, associate professor of public policy at Harvard University.

Wendy Wood, professor of psychology and business at the University of Southern California.

David Yeager, associate professor of psychology at The University of Texas at Austin.

Bridget Terry Long, professor of education and economics at Harvard University.g

Edward Chang, doctoral candidate at the Wharton School of the University of the University of Pennsylvania.

Lauren Eskreis-Winkler, postdoctoral fellow of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.

RESOURCES

“Could Solving This One Problem Solve All the Others?” Freakonomics Radio (April 5, 2017).

EXTRA

“Big Returns from Thinking Small,” Freakonomics Radio (March 29, 2017).

“The Men Who Started a Thinking Revolution, Freakonomics Radio (January 4, 2017).

“Should We Really Behave Like Economists Say We Do?” Freakonomics Radio (June 4, 2015).

The Undoing Project by Michael Lewis (W. W. Norton & Company, 2016).

“The White House Gets Into the Nudge Business,” Freakonomics Radio (November 2, 2016).

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from Dental Care Tips http://freakonomics.com/podcast/launch-behavior-change-revolution/