#because that's an everyone but Unicron loses scenario

[transingthoseformers]

Megatron deciding to shoot Earth with the Omega Lock was completely insane, actually. He knows Earth is Unicron. The beam could wake/heal him, then Unicron would transform and come to destroy Cybertron.

What if this (and dome other stuff?) leads to Soundwave finally turning against Megatron?

You're entirely right, that's actually quite batshit of him

That would be utterly fascinating if that was Soundwave's last straw (or at least a big reason)

[elindae-writes]

What if Megatron uses the dark energon inside of him to try and control Star (who also used dark energon)…It looks like it worked, but Star was only pretending and waited until he was close enough to kick Megatron between the legs!When Optimus asks how Star managed to resist, the seeker says that Unicron's control is stronger and Megatron's control is easier to defeat then Star thought...Everyone's reaction?

Optimus would be disgusted by Megatron’s new methods of brainwashing. He always held out hope that Megatron would redeem himself one day, but washing him try to brainwash Starscream would definitely weaken Optimus’s faith in Megatron. Optimus would feel personally guilty for allowing Star to be brainwashed and would be more aggressive than usual during his next fight with Megatron. He’d call Megs out and tell him that his methods of brainwashing are very similar to the methods of brainwashing that the corrupt Council employed--the same Council that Megatron loathed and vowed to destroy.

Ratchet would be conflicted by the news of Starscream’s brainwashing. On one servo, he always had a feeling Star would end back up in Megatron’s clutches anyway, so seeing Starscream walk off to join Megs again wouldn’t really be that surprising. But on the other servo he would definitely be disturbed. He specialized in secretly healing bots who were hurt by the Council’s brainwashing techniques, so to see those same techniques used again would definitely anger him. He would soon decide that it would be best for Starscream to come back because even he would realize that brainwashing is not something that Starscream deserves.

Arcee would be angry and disturbed as well. Airachnid used a bit of brainwashing on other bots (specifically other techno-organics) so watching brainwashed Star would definitely freak her out. She’d begin to miss his coy and arrogant jabs at her and would want him to be healed and returned to base so that they could go back to bickering with each other. She always wanted Starscream to calm the frag down, but never quite like this.

Bulkhead would lose his bolts and have a breakdown. Star had to go through the pain of watching Bulk’s processor vanish and now the opposite would be happening. Bulkhead would finally understand what Star went through. He’d become even more angry than usual on the battlefield and would try to fling himself at Megatron at every given chance. The Autobots would always have to drag him back. He’d go on long stressful drives through the dunes and angrily wreck a lot of rocks in order to let out his anger.

Bumblebee would also be very upset. Bumblebee himself was a victim of Megatron’s cruelty, so he would relate to Star. But he’d also feel that Starscream’s brainwashing would be 10x worse than having his vocalizer torn out. When Bee lost his vocalizer, he lost his voice, sure, but he still had his mind. Starscream wouldn’t even have that much. He would be more rational than Bulk and understand that charging at Megs would achieve nothing, but he would still definitely fire extra shots at the warlord when given the chance. I could easily see him using his scouting skills to stalk Megatron and make Megs grow paranoid.

After finding out that Starscream was faking it everybody would be relieved of course. Bulkhead would cry a lot and follow the Seeker around like a sick puppy. He’d be a bit angry at first, but then Starscream would call him a “big green oaf” again and that’s how Bulk would finally understand that Star is truly back. Ratchet would hide his relief by scowling at Star. He’d take Starscream aside and give him a much more gentle checkup than usual. Arcee would take a deep vent and stiffly shake servos with Starscream while explaining to him that she had wanted want harm to come to him, yes, but never in the form of brainwashing. Optimus would take Starscream up to the roof of the base. He’d make some big grand speech and praise Star for his deception.

Star would then admit that pretending to be under the control of Megs disturbed him far more than he let on. He’d talk about how being back beside Megatron brought back all sorts of terrible memories. He’d be jumpier than usual and Optimus would follow him around a lot more in order to ensure that he’s doing okay.

This event would definitely alter their perception of Megatron just a bit. They’re used to thinking of him as this imposing figure who always wins against Starscream, so learning that Starscream managed to defeat him would give everybody hope that defeating Megatron for good really is possible. They would also all be disturbed to think that Starscream really was connected to Unicron (albeit indirectly). They’d be impressed with Star for his deception and would realize that he is a bit stronger than they previously thought. Pretending to be loyal to your crazy ex-boss who abused you would not be easy at all. 

I really like this scenario, so would you mind if I use it farther ahead in the story?

[shikai-the-storyteller]

It’s like half a year late but I just realized I saved this post as a draft and never actually posted it sO 

LOST LIGHT 25 READ

*Breaks down sobbing* L-LOST LIGHT 25 READ….THE LAST LIGHT…. 

My hands are shaking as I open up the file. How am I supposed to say goodbye and mean it. This comic’s changed my life, who am I going to be without it

I could spend the rest of my life looking at that cover :’) Rewind and Chromedome…Tailgate and CycLONUS….WITH WINGMAN WHIRL….SWERVE HOLDING RUNG’S GLASSES…DRIFT AND RATCHET (and ratchet holding the sparkflowers which represent everyone who died on the mission #called it), ANODE AND LUG….BRAINSTORM AND NAUTICA (probably watching some goofy video on Brainstorm’s cellphone??), MINIMUS AND RODIMUS…..SOBS….I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH…..

“The story so far: You’re joking, right?” LMAO

I saw the one page preview earlier this week and for the life of me I expected it to be Megatron. I expected them to be planning a fake funeral for Megatron buT THEN PROWL WAS THERE AND THAT THREW ME OFF.

I know Rewind doesn’t have to be glued to Chromedome’s side at all times but THE FACT THAT THEY”RE AT A FUNERAL AND HE”S NOT NEXT TO CHROMEDOME IS DRIVING MY ANXIETY UP THE WALL

WAIT WHAT

WHAT

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

RATCHET!??!?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONJUX ENDURA???? JRO HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME THIS BLESSING THEN IMMEDIATELY GO “lol Ratchet’s dead” WTF MAN

IS THIS THE FUTURE???

JRO GIVETH AND JRO TAKETH AWAY

wait REWIND IS OLDER THAN RATCHET WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

JAMES ROBERTS IF YOU KILL REWIND (again) I MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY DIE ON THE SPOT *PLEASE* DON”T DO THAT

A bunch of supersparks because of Rung’s message :’(((

OH MAN, THAT IS OUR PROWL, NOT SOME FUNCTIONALIST PROWL????

Prowl pls, I understand your point of view completely but…THE SPARKS…be cool dude

MEGATRON…OH BOY OF COURSE PROWL’S THERE FOR HIM

BUT HOW LONG IN THE FUTURE *ARE* WE?? WHY DIDNT PROWL COME SOONER?

I guess this is post-all the Unicron business??? Where’s Optimus, why isn’t he at his best friend’s funeral. (Though, even as I say that I am Very Much Aware that he probably died in the other comics, true to his style)

Prowl puts his finger on Rodimus’ mouth to shush him and I have mixed feelings about that because A) rude but B) it indicates a level of familiarity I’m surprised Prowl would do, even if it is just for the sake of shushing Rodimus

“No to everything you’ve said and everything you will say. And while I’m at it, no to anything you’ve said or will ever say ever” “Rodimus”

Awh Rodimus puts himself betwEEN MEGATRON AND PROWL….WHEEZES

Prowl’s got his hands on his hips and his door wing things hiked up oh my goshhh I HATE THAT I THOUGHT “You are Precious” THIS IS HOW FAR IVE FALLEN HUH

GuhhhhhhhhHHHH the sad look Megatron and Rodimus give each other…. :’((( There’s no way this trial will end with them letting him off, the fans would riot.

AW THE LOST LIGHT OR THE SPARKS HECKKKKK I KNEW THEYD HAVE TO GIVE UP THE SHIP

GOSH….RODIMUS…IM SO SAD TOO BUDDY

CRUSADERCONS SOBS!!!!!!

“It’s a joke” “I suppose you had to be there" SOBS EVEN HARDER

MEGATRON PLEASE, I JUST SNORTED SO FRICKIN HARD AT THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MEGATRON YOU BIG DORK

"Do you trust me, Prowl?” Aw oh Roddy…WHAT DO YOU MEAN LAP OF HONOR are you going to race Prowl, Rodimus buddy pls

WHIRL *IS* IN HANDCUFFS WHAT’S UP WITH THAT DID HE TURN HIMSELF IN FOR SOMETHING??? Is he in jail because of the scraplets???

“I’m conscious we haven’t seen each other in years” AW MAN SO THEY REALLY DID ALL SPLIT UP :’(((( I mean I guess that’s expected but hrGHH….HECK THAT MEANS RATCHET PROBABLY REALLY IS GONE OH NO…SALING IM SO SORRY

SWERVE HAD 113 BARS JRO PLEASE “I guess I’m not ready to be reminded of the good times” SWERVE I WILL CRY RIGHT NOW

Dratchet confirmed but AT WHAT COST

And it sounds like Nautica (maybe none of them) revealed that Rung was Primus???? Oh man

Also I’m 99% sure Optimus must be dead because there’s no reason why he wouldn’t be at his best friend’s funeral (unless he pops up later on in this comic)

I took all these notes earlier when looking at the preview and now that I’m here, with the full comic, about to read it, I can’t even get past the cover. I’m looking at all their smiling faces and I’m just realizing how much I’m going to miss them

NO

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO NO NO!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO DANGIT JRO

THIS IS LITERALLY ALL I ASKED OF YOU, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT AFTER ALL HE SUFFERED? AFTER ALL THEY SUFFERED???

I just pounded my fist on my desk so hard and shouted “NO” over and over again.

So he’s not dead? But is he suffering? Is he ok???

“He just asks Chromedome about something called Rung” WHAT

Is Brainstorm’s case a teleportation device now???

I’m so confused and sad and angry but I’m going to hold off judgement til I get to the end

I took a break to go give my Tio and Tia’s giant German Sheppard a rubdown but MAN I still feel horrible…I really hope there’s going to be more of a happy ending for Rewind and Chromedome than that, that feels so horrible…and they forgot Rung??

WAIT WHAT RATCHET’S BACK??? WHAT”S GOING ON

“There’ll always be an ending– and if you’re lucky, you get to see it coming.” :(

REWIND??? IS REWIND OK??? HE”S HERE??? IS HE SAFE???

I SWEAR TO EVERY DEITY JRO, PLEASE DON”T HURT HIM MY HEART CAN”T TAKE THIS KIND OF BACK AND FORTH THING

OH NO, DID THEY FORGET RUNG???

WHIRL’S WEARING AN “ASK ME ABOUT MY FEMINIST AGENDA” SHIRT

REWIND AND RATCHET ARE STILL HERE AND OK BUT THEY”VE FORGOTTEN RUNG??? WHAT”S GOING ON

Aw Cyclonus is singing for Tailgate and they have all of Ten’s toys next to the Lost Light toy replica….

I CAN”T REALLY GET INTO THIS IM TOO AFRAID OF REWIND NOT ACTUALLY BEING OK AND RUNG BEING FORGOTTEN

“And this is my wife, Anode” MY HEART JUST GREW THREE SIZES

FRICKIN, THEY"RE GONNA RAISE SOME KIDS, THE LESBIAN AGENDA!!!! I LOVE IT

IS ROLLER FLIRTING WITH NICKLE OH MY GOSH

“I forgot I tried to kill you” “Sorry I tried to kill you” Ah, good ‘ol post-war Cybertronians

“Making me look good. Highest calling” RODIMUS PLEASE

“I was wondering if I was remembering things before they happened” OH NO

Ok but WHY is Whirl in his holoform

AW THE SWEET TENDER MOMENT BETWEEN DRIFT AND RATCHET…KILL ME.

“Treat him well, doc. He’s a keeper” awh….what a good bro

The tender Ratchet expressions are so sweet but AT THE SAME TIME IM LIKE….IS RATCHET DEAD OR IS HE OK, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY: IS REWIND OK??????????

WHY CAN”T ANYONE REMEMBER RUNG, THIS IS REALLY REALLY SAD

LMAO Are these all scenarios that JRO wanted to write???? I can’t believe the Lost Light got impounded

“We should measure our lives in moments and the rush of joy, of grace, that exists within them. You flare, you flicker, you fade. And in the end, all your tomorrows become yesterdays. Afterlight.” This entire exchange has me on the floor weeping. Of COURSE Magnus has his poetry memorized

OH SHOOT MAGNUS DIDN”T KNOW

NOOO THE DOUBLE SAD MAGNUS AND MEGATRON FACE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RECOVER FROM THAT

"I never thought I’d say this, but…it’s been fun” *STARTLED EXAGGERATED GASP*

Magnus thinks that wanting some professional relationships makes him sound like a hopeless romantic, oh my GOSH (same tho Magnus)

ME TOO SWERVE

WTF

I THOUGHT THEY WERE IN SPACE WHAT’S HAPPENING

Oh my gosh, the Deceptidorks run off in their own little cruiser with Grimlock, that’s so them

OH NO SWERVE DIDN”T GET MISFIRE’S NUMBER

OH MY–

WELL

I DIDN”T EXPECT THAT AT ALL

CYCLONUS OH MY GOSH, THAT MADE ME PUT A HAND OVER MY MOUTH AND TURN AWAY, HECK

THAT"S SO SWEET….coming from Cyclonus that’s such a huge thing, he’s so grateful that Rodimus gave him the chance, gave him the opportunity to go on this mission :’)

Of course Rodimus looks a little shocked when Cyclonus grabbed his face like that I"D BE A LITTLE BIT LIKE “UHHH” TOO

GOSH that’s so cute I can’t get over that

WAAAAAIT A MINUTE. WAIT I JUST REALIZED THIS IS ALL IN THE PAST. SO REWIND AND RATCHET REALLY ARE…

WELL. THERE”S STILL A FEW MORE PAGES FOR JRO TO NOT BREAK MY HEART AND RESOLVE THAT….I STILL HAVE A BIT OF FAITH….

AW Cyclonus picks up Tailgate and flies off with him THAT"S SO CUTE

Oh my gosh, that graffiti in the background that says “Megatron will save us” :“’(

NO….RODIMUS IS ALL ALONE OH NO……..THIS IS THE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO NO!!!!!!!

"But sometimes you hardly know they’re here” OH MAN DID THEY TAKE AFTER RUNG

OH MY GOSH

IS THAT???? IS THAT!!!! IS DRIFT GIVING WHIRL RATCHET’S HANDS!??????

“RATTY”

BRAINSTORM’S REALLY GOT ANOTHER FRICKIN SPARK IN HIS BRIEFCASE IM LOSING MY MIND. Ohhhh Whirl helped make that for him! SO WAIT BRAINSTORM IS TECHNICALLY ALMOST DEAD TOO, JRO WTF COME ON

“Hearing that Megatron was able to open it when you couldn’t” WAIT WHAT, THAT”S NOT HOW ANY OF THAT WENT, WHAT UNIVERSE EXISTS WHERE RODDY COULDN”T OPEN IT!! THAT”S SO WRONG

THIS REALLY IS THE NIGHTMARE UNIVERSE, EVERYTHING BAD IS HAPPENING WHAT THE HELL

(Post-reading, I discussed with Saling and YEAH RODIMUS PROBABLY LIED TO HELP MEGATRON’S CASE)

WAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFTER ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RODIMUS LOOKS SO SURPRISED AND DELIGHTED…….

“Rodimus. Whatever happens next, whatever my fate, I deserve worse.” :(((((((

HECK THAT MAGNUS / MEGATRON INTERACTION…..MAGNUS LOOKS LIKE A KICKED PUPPY THIS IS MAKING ME SO SAD

What’s wrong with Rodimus’ aura????

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT”S GOING ON

IM TOO FREAKED OUT ABOUT REWIND TO PROPERLY THINK / PREDICT LIKE I ALWAYS DO

AWH!!!!!!!!! IM GONNA FRICKIN CRY!!!!!!!!! THAT HUG!!! FINALLY A SWEET CYCLONUS AND WHIRL HUG WHERE CYCLONUS ISN"T THREATENING TO KILL HIM

EXCELLENT FRICKIN BROTP CONTENT RIGHT THERE

IM STILL WORRIED ABOUT REWIND AND RUNG (AND RATCHET) THOUGH, JIMMOTHY ROBERTS DONT YOU DARE END THIS WITHOUT RESOLVING THAT

LIKE SERIOUSLY THOUGH!!! I LOVE YOU JRO BUT THAT”D BE SUCH A HORRIBLE WAY TO END REWIND’S LIFE (even if he’s not technically dead)

What did Rodimus promise Ratchet he’d look after, I wonder….

RUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!! I KNEW SOME VERSION OF HIM WOULD COME BACK!!!!

I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!

“Give that back to Drift and say Thank you. Say it’s a lovely gesture, but I’m not broken, and I don’t need fixing” :’)

I love Whirl so much

DON"T KNOW IF WHAT WORKED

Did they…did they force themselves to forget about Rung??? About the fact that he was Primus???

ALL THE LUNARIANS LOOK LIKE RUNG, SOBS!!!!!!!!!!

Rodimus looks so much older, this is making me so sad THIS WASN”T SUPPOSED TO BE A DEPRESSING ENDING

WHAT CAPTAIN THUNDERCLASH

OH MY GOSH RODIMUS

“Without Love There Is No Meaning” aaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THE RODIMUS STAR…THAT WAS MEGATRON’S RODIMUS STAR….DID THEY FORCE THEMSELVES TO FORGET ABOUT MEGATRON??? WHAT HAPPENED

WOW THEY REALLY MADE ANOTHER QUANTUM DUPLICATE HUH

But that means they doom at least one version of themselves to a sad ending…

SIMPATICO

PERCY YOU FRICKIN GEEK you and Brainstorm deserve each other

I’M…..SO TORN…….

THEY REALLY DID GET AN ENDING WHERE THEY’RE HAPPY AND CONTINUE ON FOREVER, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND THEY GOT THE WORST UNIVERSE

I DON”T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS ENDING………

Oh my gosh WAIT….the bad timeline doesn’t know anything about Rung because Rung is with the good Lost Light…which means that the “canon” timeline IS the good Lost Light….WELL….I GUESS THAT MAKES THINGS A LITTLE BETTER (MAYBE??? IN RETROSPECT I ACTUALLY THINK BOTH VERSIONS FORGOT RUNG...HECK...)

I guess even in the “bad” ending we got some good stuff (like the Whirl & Tailgate / Cyclonus thing) but oof….Rewind’s the only one who remembers Rung…that really hurts…I am glad he and Chromedome are both somewhat ok though :(

“Over To You”

The comic ending with a preview of the first MTMTE issue feels so poetic

I FEEL LIKE. I”M STILL PROCESSING EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED. This comic’s been such a huge part of my life, I don’t know how to properly react

I guess the biggest thing I can say is “I can’t believe it’s over”

Post reading note: I had mixed feelings about the ending, but JRO shared this article “How To Say Goodbye and Mean It: The Last Message of IDW's Lost Light” by Cenate Pruitt and it helped settle some stuff for me. I think it’s definitely worth a read once you’re done with LL25. 

[hgfstreamchats]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Hello! Hello there! Has it started?  I'm not getting a picture Kast, just once. Just. ONCE. Let me try leaving and coming back Kast, really... I despise Kast a little more every week. It is working hard to cement its place as the worst. Oh, there you are!  And there it is! Had to reload. Aha! Can't start streaming until we solve the Kast Sphynx's Weekly Riddle. Right? If it were easy, then surely it would not be worth the doing. They are preparing for rain. That's how we prepare for rain. Complete with song. I prefer to skip the song for obvious reasons. Wow, six whole dollars I prefer ours to their version. It has numerous allusions to optics being burned out. Oh dear. So--this takes place before the christmas one, right? Possibly? Is there a whole series of Grinch movies? Probably? A Grinch multiverse?

I hate him already. That poor dog. Is that dog's thoughts singing at us? ...Actually I think it is Dear Unicron. And the grinch can read his mind? Purely for the sake of emotionally abusing him. I feel sorrier for the dog than for all the Whos put together. Likewise. ...So THAT'S what that's from! That flower was probably sentient. We can only hope. Ha, ha. Well, he's very dead. I feel that the Grinch is not the problem with this night. This night is full of problems and he's the least severe of them. Oh, an idiot. Ha. Burn. Well, that...annoyed everyone for about 15 seconds? As haunted eyebrows do. Truly villainous. I guess the wind's died down at least ...Well, Euchariah, that's certainly one way to slow down the Grinch! Oh my god That sure did happen He saves the town but no one ever talks about how. As well they mightn't. Why does his cart thing do that So he slips the child a hallucinagen. The jump cuts imply there's some kind of a Jaunt situation going on and that's the most horrifying part. Mmmmaybe? In all credit I would have long since turned the ground into a euphemism. Then he destroys the town out of spite. Is there some reason he CAN'T? Or at the very least, stabs Euchariah. Good for him! All he wanted to do was torment the citizens. And now he has no dog. He should do it anyway. It'll pack more of a punch because they won't be expecting it. He was abusing that dog, he doesn't deserve him This is why it is imprudent to let wind decide when one comes to destroy town. Starting off on an ambitious note, aren't we? It's such frightening shuffling noises. Eugh Lovely. Yes, we get it, you're proud of your props Great, keep focusing on that. Soak it in. Hah! Whose call was it to bring him? What a delightful conversationalist. "Absolutely!" When has picking up a hitchhiker ever worked out for anyone? Did the sound just cut out? Oh, there it is "Spare no detail." Man, picking him up was a GREAT choice. These two are clearly meant for each other. I bet this isn't some kind of foreshadowing. . . . . Now he has a knife. "And THAT, kids, is how I met your father." Ha! What a great sign Do not have dinner with them. The dinner is people. The dinner can't be anything but people. Even if this wasn't a movie about murderers, it would be unwise to eat with him. Clearly Best case scenario, everyone comes down with hepatitis. Jesus. He is having a day. You're going to want to rinse that out with fire. They sell barbecue and tetanus shots, happily enough. How can it be made any clearer that this is a terrible place to be? Maybe abandon this one here too. See? Someone's smitten. Hah! "Do you think that hitchhiker ever sticks needles in himself?" Oh my Unicron, I was *kidding.* You should know better. Never kid. The Blair witch is in there somewhere. And even she's looking for places elsewhere. This is all just such a great idea This is one long sensible decision. What likable meat sacks. Now, how can this possibly end in any way other than well? what a great thing to find. Really, dude Let's not run from any of this. This was so avoidable The road to this was lined with red flags and you blew past every one of them. What house doesn't have a bone and chicken room? Y...yeah. More sitting and not running! Excellent plan! She has to show us all the lovely props. The Texas Chainsaw Props, Props, Props. The only thing massacred was the props budget. Hah! He should not be running that inside. That's how one asphixiates. Safety first! "D...Did you really?~" "and two of us have been murdered by a maniac already" To be fair, I think a chainsaw is the appropriate way to deal with tresspassers. It keeps happening. An actual meat cooler. That's more sanitary than I expected. That's the face of someone who really doesn't know how teenagers keep getting into his house. He's not even a serial killer, he just keeps panicking. Yes, run towards the light. Surely the person chasing you does not live in this remote location. And be sure to scream the whole way, just so he can't lose track of you over the roar of his chainsaw. It's not as if it's a dark night, and he has no flashlight to search the woods with. Ugh Whoops, almost slipped away quietly there! He's awfully sprightly for a hulking human wearing a mask and wielding a chainsaw. He's been working out. Oh, she's never going to be alright. Yyyyeah. ..... His claim is suspicious Oh, I'm a terrible mech for laughing. But it's hilarious. Smack smack smack. Gentle broom swatting, like she were an unruly cat. Smackity smack, get in the sack! The sack that doesn't even cover her properly. He just keeps poking her. And I keep laughing! Swat him with the broom! For the love of the Allspark, just take the broom to every character in this movie. It would make this a lot more interesting. They are also inviting her to escape, but not just killing her now. More pokes. Texas Broomhandle Pokings. They even show displeasure the same way. Truly ships passing in the night. "Take it easy, we're just going to force-feed you your friends, probably" "With more broomhandle poking to follow." It's so sloppy. And potentially a waste of meat. Oh god ...Oh, apparently they really cut her in that scene! Lovely! Euuuugh Grandpa is loving it. Good day for grandpa. What a lovely family. It's a comedy of failures. Every time he misses, this gets a little funnier. The screaming took all night long. They could have driven away. ...Why did they get out instead of driving away Excellent question. Think of all the expensive therapy she'll need. That... sure was a thing I hear it is a classic. It was certainly was something. I also hear that some of the sequels are ridiculously stupid. Any idea of which one is the stupidest? Ah, give me a moment. Texas chainsaw three. Three it is! Apparently so bad, the actors petitioned to keep it from ever being released. I like the sound of that! "Their friends. who have no names, or families." Ugh. Charming. Ah, I was mistaken. Texas Chainsaw 4 is even dumber. Onto 4, then! It involves the prom. Always with the prom. Can it be a bad horror franchise without the prom? Oh christ Pity he isn't going to be chainsawed. A tragedy. Does HE at least die? I hope so. I hope his organs end up on the ground. Who *Are* these people? Are we *supposed* to be invested in their survival? I don't think we are. We cannot be meant to care about them. Who needs a flashlight in the incredibly well lit woods? Probably just... the wind. Is she related to Boltgun Wheelsaround from the first movie? that sure was necessary . . . It's like a fever dream. Nothing makes much sense. ugh He could try not running directly down the road. Nothing about this makes any kind of sense. Is this even Texas? Does it make a difference? It would be one more wrong thing to add to the pile. Didn't these movies used to have chainsaws in them? Now it's just plastic bags. How ever will she see with those flood lights in the background? This couldn't have less to do with Texas, chainsaws, or massacres. They did remember to have the screaming though. Ugh "Now you stay put!" A freezer lock would not go amiss. What is the wager that there won't be a single chainsaw in this? Apparently they didn't feel the need for them. The dumbest humans who ever lived. She sounds vaguely annoyed. And that's it. There's one! Finally! When we've got a whole... one person left to possibly massacre with it. The fool, he cut their cable line. Now what will they watch in the evenings? Did he even stop to consider that? This is only half over? It just keeps happening. Oh joy. Also, it is going to get stupider. Less fun than the broom. Bring back the broom! Stick poking, 2.0 This is dreadful and not nearly enough chainsaws. You're not wrong. I don't think this has any redeemable qualities It's the Illuminati. How does this keep getting worse? There may have been a mountain of cocaine involved in the making of this. Also, one day you will learn not to ask me for terrible sequels. I'll learn nothing. Then this will keep happening. It's the way of things. I find myself missing the grandpa who couldn't hold a hammer. He at least was quiet. Ah, quiet. I remember quiet. Ah, but there will be no quiet. Never again. Grandpa is escaping. Ah good. It's those Illuminati they talked about. I feel like *I've* been struck several times in the head with a hammer. And yet it is note done yet. Getting closer Horror. The only sympathetic victim here is us. Why is a remote leg battle a plot relevant thing? Not that I subscribe or much care for human gender norms, but did they ever...explain why Leatherface is wearing a wig and a dress? He wanted to be pretty today. Ah! Well, that's one mystery solved! So many, many more to go. Oh. My. Unicron. I was hoping it would inexplicably explode. It *is* a rather nice dress on him. . . . . It is the only nice thing in the whole of this film. What. I would have rather watched Leatherface try on outfits for an hour and a half. Oh look. The girl from the first movie. What a lovely little nonsensical note to end on. Oh, thank the Core. Not before time, either Wrong link. Curious. No, this looks good ... Pay no mind to the song Breakdown and I may or may not have fragged to. Is this an SNL sketch "Foot" It isn't! I find it more repugnant than the chicken and bone room. What did we ever do to you Five long minutes listening to this song. What felt like five long years watching that sequel. Ha! True. Though you did not bail on it, like you did Book of Shadows. It's true. It didn't break me like Book of Shadows. I don't think bacon bits belong in a drink. I agree. Agreed. Well, unless someone's got something that begs to be shared, that about concludes it! I think we have suffered my suggestions enough. I've got nothing Are you planning on streaming on Halloween? The night before! Good to know! I've got something good lined up. Ah, excellent! I shall attempt to attend! Though another commitment may make me too late. Not to worry if it does! I'm looking at that "good" very suspiciously. In the meantime, good night and thank you for coming! Goodnight, and thanks for hosting! Good night, and thank you for streaming this nonsense once again! Always!