#because since ive been on this hellsite for so long i know whats Not So Cool

[naughtynoodle056]

I wish I felt like I belong somewhere.

[dnangelic]

TSUN! I HAVE SOME CHOICE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU!!!!

you are such an absolute delight to see on the dash and interact with, and that is no exaggeration! I adore all of your muses and even if i don’t know any of their respective medias, i learn about them through your writing and your metas and you talking about them and thats so fun to do!!! ITS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE THING EVER! I appreciate you giving my dazai a chance despite not knowing bsd aswell as p much any of my other muses sknsksns you’ve been so sweet to me since we first became mutuals and i genuinely love seeing you around so much 😭 i see you on the dash and my day gets atleast 10% better without fail every single time. i hope u talk about your boys forever and ever . ITS SO FUN TO BUILD DYNAMICS WITH YOU!!! anyone is lucky to write with / plot with / interact with you i wont even lie and i genuinely believe that nsjsksnsjssn i appreciate that you show interest in so many of my muses it makes my heart so so so warm . I HOPE WE CAN CONTINUE WRITING NOVELS TOGETHER FOREVERRRRR even though i know im the one who owes you like 2829922 things ksnsksns DW AB THAT . I ALSO WANNA SAY about you writing dark and daisuke specifically i think its so good how much care you put into a series thats really old and like Ive genuinely put the manga on my reading list BECAUSE of the interest garnered from your writing !! SOLELY BECAUSE OF YOU ! u are an absolute angel ( … hehehehensnensn … bejbwnw … get it bc … bc …!2&2!/@/!/82 s hehehehe ) AND YOU ARE ALWAYS SO KIND TO ME and always so interactive and i can’t even beginnnnnnnnnnnnnn to properly articulate how much of a joy you are 2 interact with !!! wishing you and daisuke and dark and yan qing and all ur muses the best day ever . 🙌

OH MY GOOOOOOSH and to think i was sitting here at ur post like 'should i ask permission for nine asking for permission. what if nine doesn't wanna say anything. i hate feeling like im ever panhandling for a compliment. nine should be pouring soup into my lap and slapping dark + calling him a bitch so i can finally apologize but youuuuUUU YOUUUUU ALL THESE FEELINGS R SO MUTUAL!!! I LOVE SEEING U TALK!!! IT BRINGS ME SM JOY TO SEE U POST!!! even the most random stuff. doesn't matter if its long or short. literally dont even worry abt owing me stuff ur presence alone is also a DELIGHT ur fr like such a funny mut and person BUT UR ALSO SO GOOD AT UR MUSES TOO??? LIKE i could go on forever abt how much i respect ur dazai alone and how even if i don't know bsd canon that's probably for the best, bc ur now ur dazai is The canon dazai to me, but u also have like nine... billion... (hehehesbhgbssnsjkdj x2) MUSES ON UR MULTI THAT U ALSO FLAWLESSLY INVEST URSELF IN AND!! WOWWWW WHAT A MUN!!! genuinely im so glad i found u even in this hellsite and that i can just toddle around following u like this everywhere 🐥 every like i leave on ur post is me picking at it for crumbs like a pigeon in a city being tossed bread. keep tossing that bread for me please please. IM CRYING. IM WAILING!!!! BUT SINCE U BROUGHT UP READING DNANGEL LET ME ACTUALLY HELP U OUT TOO??

scans are like absolutely everywhere and most places have the godawful quality fan translations. u can and frankly probably should read the official eng which is available here. dnangel had a weird run where the eng was only licensed and translated up to book 13. 14 and 15 (and beyond) are fan translations, but there's exactly one chapter that's ALWAYS broken on any website you go to except this one. this site doesn't complete the series though so the last link you'd have to hop to is this one. but the entire series is only 20 volumes in total. you could speedread through it in like a day. it's short and sweet and i love it even with its flaws. why else would i b here writing dark n dai. anyways. point is. tysm. im holding u and all ur muses tight. i wont leave u!!!! im so glad i met u!!! uve done sm for me already and i wont forget it!!! MY SO TALENTED FRIEND!!!

[monstrouslyobsessed]

if my body can just...chill, that'd be great. gonna try and publish two pieces by tomorrow. here's hoping i can do it!

Ooh! Regarding the Jaguar tribe, I pick the AFAB one, please! —anonymous

ah alright, i can probably do that one first, maybe. just trying to be considerate to everyone possible!

What age you became (or started) to became a Monsterfucker?and what triggred it for you?;for me it was when i was like 7-10 because of Ben 10 LMFAO.

I had a crush on XLR8,Ripjaws (i love me some shape of water looking monster),Heatblast and Big Chill (my fav Mothman),i also loved Upgrade but when they introducted Malware it was breaking point for me,like you are bringing this EVIL AND WELL WRITTEN VILLAIN VERSION OF UPGRADE AND EXPECT ME NOT TO SIMP???

Sorry if this was asked before and thank you! —anonymous

you're the first one who asked!!

but uhhhh, shoot, i think i was probablyyyyyy 6 or 7 with goliath from gargoyles from early 90s??? maybe??? not too positive tbh, it had been a very long time for me. i remembered having a bit of a crush on demona too…i think her name was? the kid me was shocked to see that yes, you can pair a human up with an inhuman character, but i didn't exactly fall in the monsterfucker genre too deep until probably the mid2010s. that genre just wasn't popular before then and the internet was sorta…pretty vanilla then too, at least in my usual internet hang-outs.

oh man, ben 10. i barely remembered half the shits about that show lol watched the kid era from the beginning to the end and missed out a few on the teen era (i missed gwen's sass ngl), but i definitely lost all interest when its creator passed and the jerkwads at cartoon network or whatever company it was rebooted it from scratch and completely disrespected the creator's wishes??? like why lmao and the new style was hideous, so i p much dropped out from ben10 since and don't keep up with it at all.

Mars attacks??? Would you write for it????? —anonymous

er one by tim burton?? unless there are other ones i wasn't aware about (the title is super common with the older media iirc), i'd have to say no. the appearance of those aliens from that movie is not…something i'd be into. sorry!

that said, i certainly did write several alien pieces, including the classic martian aliens in ufo one if you're interested! the latter was very nondescript so you're welcome to imagine whatever alien appearance you'd prefer :)

i envy how you're able to create such a specific and fascinating story —anonymous

daw thank you! <3 my writing def ain't perfect and i know im slow as heck, but it makes me happy that i have kind readers like you reading my pieces <3

i like you —anonymous

i like you too nonnie!

okay thats all the nonstory related asks i have atm. if there's a question i haven't answered, chances are, the hellsite might've eaten it :( if that's the case for you, then feel free to send in another one!

that said, ive been looking around for ask memes for my oc's like that classic nsfw abc's one to interact with yall and do something fun with my characters, but haven't a lot of luck finding any i liked. if you have any rec, hmu!

otherwise, <3 yall be good to one other and take care!

[queernuck]

The Cleveland Browns made the playoffs. The Islanders made the Eastern Conference Finals.

And that’s enough for me.

So long, so long I have been living like this, pretending that I want to keep on living, that life feels worthwhile, that I don’t want to kill myself. Suicide is for cowards but ive been chickening out for a whole decade, to the point where getting on the subway was itself something that involved convincing myself not to jump in front of it. I remember once while working in the city, I watched and waited as two trains came in and left, trying to get the energy to jump in front of them. I had decided, if I couldn’t do it by the time a second train came and went, I would go to work and save it for another day. I came very close, my legs tense like a linebacker on 4th & Goal, but I didn’t do it. Maybe it would be better if I had, I would have saved not only myself but a lot of other people a lot of pain and suffering. I’ve been dealing with feeling suicidal for a decade, an entire ten years, and made it through. And for what? I lost a retail job at minimum wage, I’ve seen the Giants go from two-time Super Bowl kingslayers to a team that relied on the Eagles for a playoff berth, I got to see Evangelion only for the final Rebuild film to be infinitely delayed, I have a useless non-degree that allows me to eloquently describe how the Democrats and Republicans alike are driving this stolen land to Fascism while sycophants tell me Vote Blue No Matter Who. I’m so tired, I’m not even the person people think me to be, since if I were, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

My paychecks, as hard-earned as they were, never seemed to be mine in any real sense, and it made me so frustrated that something in me broke at the beginning of this year. I made some mistakes, some very stupid ones, and got myself fired. I took money from and distorted the inventory of my store to get what amounted to pocket money, less than two paychecks. I was tempted because I feel so powerless, so much like nothing I could ever say or do matters, and so I decided to lash out against a place that mattered to me, against people I cared about deeply. Chain stores, corporations, all of those things are not really high on my list of things to care about. Barnes & Noble pushed out local booksellers years ago, an irony not lost on me whenever our own competition with Amazon was made apparent. We were reaping what we had sown. But what always interested on top of this irony was how symbolic these things could be to people, how much we figured into so may memories for so many. The Manga Aisle at Barnes & Noble is a staple of 2006 scene culture, a way that kids without the pocket money to afford the newest volume of Bleach it Naruto could keep up before scams became widely available. How the store was a place where people studying for standardized tests could use the test prep guides to try and get ready for the eugenic ritual of the standardized test. And just how much a chain bookstore became a substitute, socially, for the now-absent local bookstore. We bear the guilt for that, but at the same time we were still selling books, giving people a place to get coffee and sit and read and talk, in ways that libraries may not be able to. We certainly can never replace a library, given just what a library does for people. But we did do a lot of good all the same. Before it closed, some of my fondest memories came when I was the exact sort of annoying teenage customer I grew to hate, hanging out at the Columbus Circle Borders. Working at Barnes & Noble was tiring, dehumanizing, difficult, made me feel like I would never measure up to the authors we sold, the people books were written about, that I was a failure. And I am, as my death shows. But it also made me a part of something I was proud of. And that Above & Beyond pin I earned is in my jacket still, a reminder of something.

That something was shown in so many of the coworkers I had, who were incredible in so many ways. I feel awful for what I did, I genuinely do, because of how it may have hurt people who thought so kindly of me, people who deserve so much good. I wish I had the ability to address each of them individually but this decision was hastily made, and i have a feeling it will show in the things I miss in this note. Audra, your help in finding me a way to use the company policies to my advantage as a worker was something that gave me faith even after having seen the despicable firings and cuts the company went through. Linda, I can’t quite square the circle here given my actions, but I want to say your disappointment broke my heart and that while I will not be the one who shows it, your reassurance that everyone makes mistakes was welcome.

To my (former) fellow booksellers at Store 2216, all of my love and my sincerest apologies. You all have so much good in you, your willingness to listen to my ADHD-fueled rants and to discuss so many things with an incredible frankness was always impressive, in addition to part of what I loved about all of you. I want you all to be happy, and the kinship I felt with you was a vital part of what kept me going. It was tough, as you all know. But at times, it almost felt worth it.

The same is true of my CTY friends: it was a weird, magical place that frankly, a lot of us idealized for far too long and which sk many of us eventually outgrew without being able to let go of. And that was tough, that was something we had a great deal of difficulty understanding, that what helped us once was not always going to be helping us, was not always what we needed. But in eventually finding that, we found solace, we realized how life as a whole functions and just what it is that we can take from places like it.

To my other family, my Cleo family, I know I haven’t been terribly active lately, but I can never, ever thank you enough for the belonging you gave me. I have never felt anywhere as welcoming as Cleo. As warm as Cleo (even as we struggled to pay for the oil bill) was. As kind and understanding. As tolerant. As questioning and inquisitive into what that tolerance meant to us. I am thankful, eternally, for what you all did for me. The incredible experiences I had as a Cleo make me proud of what the organization can represent, and one of my dying wishes is that the organization continues to reach out to marginalized communities on Trinity’s campus. There is much work to be done in making sure abusers cannot hide in our family, but I trust you all to do that work. Tucker Carlson is a Trinity grad and we must embody the opposite of what he stands for, no matter how difficult it may be. I could go on about how this means opposing liberals and Liberalism/Neo—Liberalism due to the truth of tolerance resulting in a Popper-esque Paradox of Tolerance that implies Popper is a worthwhile philosopher, but that’s another issue.

To my friends on that Blue Hellsite, tumblr, you made a continual presence worth it, even with all of the bullshit this place brings. It’s the reason I read so much Foucault, Derrida, Deleuze & Guattari, read Žižek against himself, and so on and so on, and the value of that to me can never be overstated. I learned so much from the ways in which I learned to analyze the world, and that in turn became a huge inspiration for why I should try to do what I could to make the world closer to a place of revolution, one where we could perhaps eke out a living for one another. I loved how much I could be an unrepentant nerd and still love hockey on there, and while the

NHL fans on tumblr are incredibly annoying,

I can deal with that compared to the racism of most hockey fans.

Mom, Dad? I just couldn’t live with you any longer. I’m so sorry.

Grandma, I love you.

And the things I leave behind? Donate what can be donated. Hats, please auction, or at least offer to other HatHeads at a reasonable price. I had some nice ones. As for assorted albums, clothing, and other things, sell them and donate to a Harm Reduction organization, or organizations that advocate for PWUD in a radical fashion. WE DESERVE AUTONOMY!

I am a victim of the War on Drugs. Sobriety was always hellish to me, and I could never take it. I want people to be able to live how they want, to see sobriety and being on drugs as equally valuable states, to see the two as no different from one another.

Abolish all gun laws

End the War on Terror

Decriminalize and legalize all drugs, sobriety is what killed me.

I love all of you.

LET’S GO ISLANDERS!

[jinbestboy]

☁️thirty questions tag game☁️

tagged by // @jimindelune and @hazeltae thank you both so much i loved reading all your answers and have decided i’m in love with you both // answers under the cut bc she’s a long one

name/nickname: my full name is emma but i almost exclusively go by em unless i’m in trouble

star sign: taurus 🥰

hight: 6’2” someone call jack i think i’m his missing beanstalk

birthday: april 29 ‘98

favorite band: i mean…….. there’s the obvious answer, but outside of the kpop world id say state champs neck deep and say anything

time: 9pm ish

favorite solo artist: kpop solo is hands down IU she is out of this world, non kpop is hobo johnson

song stuck in your head: all in my head by hobo johnson (ive been really in the feels with him lately)

last movie you watched: it was still when i saw in the hights with @vantehobi i don’t watch movies :/

free space: i hope everyone had a good week last week! i’m gonna try and be more active on here again last week was so crazy with getting to see julie again and then being sad about not seeing julie anymore the whole rest of the week, anyways i missed you all love love muah. oh also this took me literally 2 days to finish why am i like this

last show: i’m watching this series on peacock with my mom called escape to the chateau and it’s ab this british couple who buy a disheveled and worn down 5 story french chateau and renovate it to live in/use for weddings and i love it sm. and as always i have parks or the office on at any given moment

when i created this blog: i’ve had it since 2015 on and off but i swapped over to a bangtan blog fully around october of last year

what i post: an absolutely nonsensical stream of consciousness in the tags of posts made by people who actually contribute to this hellsite

last thing i googled: color dropper online for the 10495903 time because i changed my theme 3 times in a day

other blogs: i keep saying i’m gonna make a girl group blog but i cant even get myself to be on this one as much as i want to be

do i get asks?: every now and then i get one from a mutual but i’m pretty sure mobile tumblr eats like at least 75% of the asks i get because i always get notifications for asks but then i go to my asks and nothing new is there it’s very frustrating so sorry if you send me an ask and it goes unanswered i probably didn’t get it at all i’m so sorry

why did i chose my url?: because kim seokjin is the absolute bestest boy and i think it’s about time that fact is publicly recognized

following?: idk like 460 something?

followers?: yes i love them 🤲🏼

average hours of sleep: fortunately i don’t start work until noon every day so i can stay up until 3 am and still get 7/8 hours of sleep which really works out. sometimes i only get 4 though bc ✌🏻🤪✌🏻

lucky number: mmmmmmm yeah no not a concept i think i can get behind anymore

instruments: i can play the ukulele! and i really wanna learn the drums and the piano but both are time consuming and expensive

what am i wearing?: a tube top and sweatpants and my knock off mic drop socks that just say mic on both sides :)

dream job?: doing what yoongi actually applied to big hit for

favorite food: this changes by the week but i’ll eat about anything with pasta or peach flavoring. also dumplings.

tea or coffee: water please 🥰🥰

nationality: unfortunately i am all american

favorite song: no no, no. i have favorite songS that are all very important to me for different reasons i can’t get myself to explain rn but atm the toppers are 28 and spring day ALWAYS, epiphany, paradise, 134340, home, serendipity, cry for me and also likey by twice, romeo and juliet and also mover awayer and also all in my head by hobo johnson, all you are is history by state champs, and the entirety of …Is a Real Boy by say anything. all of these tend to sit at the top of the list generally but by no means are all my favorites. how dare i be asked to pick a favorite ugh

last book i read: i don’t remember the last time i had the motivation to read thats so upsetting but i always recommend I’ll Give You the Sun by jandy nelson

top three virtual universes you’d want to live in: gonna just let my full weeb out on this one so bear with me; the house they move to in my neighbor totoro is my ultimate dream in life, soul eater so i can be best friends with black star, and kill la kill because i like girls thank you

tagging // @mykrokosmos @yoongisshadow @ccypher3 @sugacutie @jaehyukkies @cowboyjinbop @taejinnies @bibillyhillsbaby @strawberryjimi @rmftjin @stardustyoongi @ftyoongi @flowerkth @floraljimin and also @vantehobi even though i know you won’t do it and it’s fine i just can’t not tag you ok love you most muah

[sasorikigai]

i followed because yetremains gushes and screams about you and sonxflight and bastardsunlight, and so far ive been liking seeing all of this. they go off in voice calls and it's adorable really the excitement they get when seeing any of ya'll post. I personally have been finding plenty of enjoyment in seeing the writing here. Keep it up! You got a damn good talent here mate!

Tell me why you followed me and what made you stay. || anonymous || accepting

Now I am imagining @yetremains in a voice call excitedly screaming about my boys somehow. I don’t know what I did to deserve D, but ever since knowing them ( not too long ago, as she is one of the most recent mutuals on my blog ) she has been nothing, but chill, a kind-hearted individual with a knack for exquisite writing and talent. Not to mention @sonxflight, whom I have been writing the longest on this blog ( you would have already gotten sick because I mention Dari very frequently, as I tend to write a lot of things regarding my muses and her Ryou/Jack ) and @bastardsunlight, who is another chill as fuck individual who is immensely talented and a joy to talk to. They are strong, they have gone through shit, but they are so kind and compassionate. We all share interests - become engaged with good people behind the screen, with the depth of their writing and their respective muses’ development through various interactions, whether it be canon, crossovers, AUs, et cetera - and them three have literally challenged me to seek betterment through my own writings of my muses. 

I am not going to apologize of me getting redundant and repetitive with my praise and compliments, because they all deserve them more than any other. Dari has stuck with me through thin and thick, and knows more about me as a person (Kathy) and my muses, especially Hanzo Hasashi, though she isn’t all that super familiar with the MK lore. It shows that she really has that drive and passion to not only understand Hanzo and other muses too at the surface level, but she literally invested her time and effort to familiarize them as if they were from Samurai Jack. Maybe that is why I find it so refreshing that this crossover OTP ship governs the triad of my body, mind, and soul. I love Dari’s Ryou/Jack, and she is the best mun for him. 

And my enjoyment as of recent would have been impossible without Stiles and D. Like I said, they are chill af, which is extremely difficult to be on this hellsite and I have nothing, but huge respect towards them. It’s not easy running multiple blogs, as this mun struggles immensely with running a multimuse comprised of a handful of muses at best. There are too many things I can gush about them, but I will stop here to save the troubles. They know I feel nothing, but IOU type of emotions, because literally, I owe them for my muses’ sustenance and development. 

[nicogayngelo]

alright kids this is gonna be long so we’re going under a read more:

i’ve spent nearly a decade on this site, so this is a collection of people from the VERY START OF MY TUMBLR LIFE to most recent. we all know this is a hellsite, but i cannot explain how many genuine friendships i have made and how thankful i am for everyone. to everyone who have stuck w/ me from my fandom days to my one dee days, i love you all with my entire heart. 

special shout outs (in no particular order): 

@lovedpants: leab! you are such a gem. i love your passion for your friends, your girlfriend, and life as a whole. your typos rival mine (which is impressive). you are so supportive and make me feel so warm and i am thankful to be carrying you as one of my close friends into this new year/decade. thank you for your joy in life. 

@blakebellafuckingdonna: kara. you are one of my oldest tumblr friends. you have seen me grow into who i am and i have loved having you as a friend and watching you grow as well. im so proud of where you are, and will continue being an annoying cheerleader on twitter in everything you do. i cannot wait to see where your writing takes you and you can bet your ass i will be one of the first to buy copies. 

@ginnyweaslays: caitlin caitlin caitlin! you are also one of my oldest tumblr friends. your heart is something i’ve admired since the beginning of our friendship as well as your kindness. you make me feel warm as a friend and i love you so much. you are the reason izzy and i are dating (seriously) and for that, as well as your continuous friendship, i cannot thank you enough. you have the most beautiful heart, inside and out. 

@alwaysxyou: miss maggie! when i say i feel like we got on from the bat, i mean it. i feel like i can go to you for anything and you’d be like “i know what you mean completely” and thats fucking beautiful. i feel so grateful to have you (and the rest of midwest gays) in my life. your passion and love in life is so beautiful and you deserve all the good things in life. thank you (and megan) for accepting me into your life and i cannot wait for tequlia and taylor swift and dancing and all good things in 2020. 

@polithicc: ana! my darling. i am so glad izzy brought you into my life. you are one of the funniest people i’ve ever met. your dedication makes me want to be a better person. youre one of the best friends ive ever met and you know you always have a place at our house. your typos and crying selfies get me through the day and i want to give you all the hugs always. thank you for being one of my favorite people and i cannot see where this next decade takes you because you are going so so so far and going to do such amazing things. 

@littlelouies: mISS MEGAN! you make my heart feel so warm. you have one of the most beautiful souls ive ever met. i love your kindness and how f u n n y you are. you (and maggie) accepting me into your life means so much to me and i constantly feel surrounded by love in the midwest gays chat. i cherish our friendship more than you know. you deserve the world and i cannotcannot wait to meet you and mr morris and maggie this upcoming year! 

@dimpledgucci: samm. thank you for accepting me into mario karts sdfdhsgf. i love you so much and want nothing but the best for you. im speaking it into existence - we’re gonna do disneyland together and new orleans together soon.  but honestly, your love of animals is so beautiful and i think you are one of the funniest people and have a big heart to match. you are wonderful and i am grateful to have become your friend. 

@kkazbreker: mandy mandy mandy. probably my second oldest tumblr friend. you and i didn’t call each other soulmates for no reason - you just get me. i know i can go to you after any amount of time and you’ll be there, cheering me on, and the same goes the other way. you have grown so much since i’ve first met you and im so so grateful to have been your friend along the journey. and i cannot wait to hold your first book in my hand, crying over how you did it. i love you so much and cannot wait to carry our friendship to the new decade. 

@herravenboys: megha! my dear heart. i also love you so much and am sO proud of everything you’ve accomplished since we’ve become friends. i love your heart and dedication. you make me so proud to be your friend. and i love that you (like mandy) are someone i know i can always go to, no matter the time in between everything, and vice versa. you have such a sweet soul and i cannot wait to cheer you on through med school and watch you continue to flourish in the new decade. 

@xoziva: liv! you are one of the sweetest people i’ve met. thank you for accepting me into mario kart and your friend group. i am so excited to see where this new decade takes you and cannot wait to be cheering you along the way. thank you for always checking in on me/sending me happy things when im down - youre such a sweetheart and i want to give you the biggest hug always. i love you so much. 

@thesparklemoji: liz! you and i are one and the same. i love that we started talking and just havent shut the fuck up. you are so warm, so kind, and so encouraging in everything i do and i cant thank you enough for that. your endless love is so inspiring and i cant thank you enough for your friendship. i love YOU! so MUCH.

 @wallsvinyl: miss sherri wine! your soul? is so beautiful? i love you with my whole heart and am SO GLAD YOU GOT TO MEET LOUIS THIS YEAR BC YOU DESERVED IT. i love how excited you get for things and your support of your friends and loved ones. you warm my heart every time and you, truly, deserve nothing short of the world. thank you for being so fucking great and nice and accepting izzy and i into your life. 

@jimmytfallon: kelli! you are hilarious, sweet, and so kind. you deserve the best upcoming year and i cant wait to watch you thrive. you have such a good energy about you and i always smile when i see you on any of my social medias. i cant wait to (hopefully) run around disneyland with you and the rest of the gang. 

@28lesbian: my sunshine, the love of my life, my future wife. you have been a bright spot in this decade. you are my soulmate. you support me in all my crazy ideas, surround me with so much love, and continue to push me to be the best person i can be. you are the best cat mom, my best friend, and my favorite person. i cant wait to spend this next decade dancing in the kitchen with you, going on long drives together, and loving each other. thank you thank you thank you. 

my follow forevers (mutuals bolded):

@ananbeth // @anchortied // @aphrodettes // @barneslwt // @czernys // @cznerdy // @danasscully // @definegirlfriends // @droo216 // @dylanatsaralee // @endlesslovsrs // @fireprooof // @flicker-album // @fl0ral-gh0st // @floweredhalo // @ginnyweeaslxy // @girlalmighty // @girlalmightys // @goldenkissy // @harryisapackersfan // @harryjamcs // @harryspdf // @honeyedyke // @hs2live // @ishipmutualrespect // @kow // @larentslarrie // @lightssup // @lordesribs // @lovedangel // @lt-28 // @microlouis // @moonlightlouie // @niallstardust // @nikkibelikov // @organicstunts // @paris-geller // @parislarry // @pridesobright // @punklouie // @reneeswalkers // @ronaldswheezy // @rosegoldeyelids // @sapphicau // @shehearsadifferentdrummer // @spiky-lesbian // @softcoeurs // @summrfeeling // @tenderpotter // @tennantsangels // @themagicswithin // @themedusacascade​ // @virgoisms // @wallsxlouie // @wallywvst 

[halohamilton]

To everyone thats made my year

@prettygfharry - I had to start with you because we havent spoken for too long but youre such an easy person to talk to and i love speaking to you. I think we legit speak like everyday lol and thank you for making an effort to talk to me as well it makes me feel a little less like im overwhelming you sjeksks. I love yooouuu 💖🤧

@peachbootylouis - I dunno where to start. I feel like we agree on everything--- aside from Captain America but we dont speak about that--- and its refreshing to speak to someone as open-minded as you. I feel like i can tell you/talk to you about anything from fandom drama to my own personal issues. Thank you for always being there for me and supporting my fics omg you mean so much to me ily 💖

@canyonemoon - kat im grateful we started speaking and i love our gossip talk sessions, it seems we have the same taste in uh... a lot of things people siejsisk. Thanks for including me in the clown gc!

@heathenharry - thank you for being my beta you were so helpful and i couldnt have done it without you and more importantly thank you for becoming a friend that i talk to about everything literally everything lol. Ily💖

@goldbootsandvans - paula apparently weve been mutuals for over a year and ive been speaking to you for just about a year now! I cant believe how quickly times goes by. Thank you for always being there for me to talk to and whenever i wanna rant jsjsks. I hope we can speak for more years to come since we're stuck in this fandom. You meaan a lot to me and thank you again for all that youve done this year! Ily 💖💖💖

@finelinee - weve also been mutuals for a year now wtf? Thank you for your wonderful gifs and content that you make for the fandom. And thanks for being there for me when i needed to talk. I hope you know that im there too.

@finewalls - sammy your sense of humour always gets me smiling and for that im so grateful. Youre wonderful i hope you continue being your wonderful self.

@haznlou - tinnnaaa youre one of the first people i talked to on this hellsite and you continue to be one of my favourites. I love you lots babe💖

@rosesau - everyone needs a friend like you in their life and im glad (and Hope) i can call you mine. Love waking up to see your im-so-done face on the gc it makes my day sjwksks. The world needs more people like you.

@emohl - youre not afraid to say what you think and i admire that so much especially in this fandom. And more often than not im glad to see we're on the same page. Ily Mery 🤧

@harrieberrie - i just started speaking to you and following you but i gotta say A+ on like everything you say. I love speaking to you its like a breath of fresh air 🤧

@homosociallyyours - youre such a kind person and talking to you is always pleasant. I cant say there was ever a time i spoke to you and not felt happy so thank you so much for being so lovely!

@elsolecitoylaluna - thank you for all the support on my fics and being so nice all the time. Youre wonderful and i love speaking to you.

@heyangel - bella speaking to you is like... amazing cos its like we've been speaking for ages. Youre seriously one of kindest purest souls. You deserve the world 💖

@dfferentstages - you so kindly offered to buy me a harry ticket when i couldnt and i appreciate it so much! Tpwk and you do just that. Thank you love!

@leedsau - zee i adore you so much and your fics are everything. I also absolutely love speaking to you and youve become a dear friend to me. Ily babe!

@angelharry - um hi youre amazing and proabably one of the nicest, honest people ive spoken to. Im so glad this fandom has you 💖

@lordtomlinson - youre such a lovely human being and i love seeing you on my dash! We havent spoken a lot but whenever we do i love to hear your opinion and your take on things!

@sunflowrsix - rafa the voice of the fandom. You have the most to say and always the best. I love that you speak your mind especially when a lot of us are scared to. Thank you for what you do💖

@shinesobrightsometimes - you gave me some of the best advice when i went through some of the hardest times thank you so so much youre a lovely person💖

@thepeacering - britt you lovely gorgeous human being. Youre absolutely lovely and your posts always make me smile. Ily💖

To my lovely mutuals! I love you guys and seeing on my dash makes me smile:

@lovedangel @lt-28 @ltyear @ltwalls2020 @lthspurpose @violeblanche @defencelesslouie @soft-lou @curlyhairedprince @egotharrystyles @chaoticsue @wandererharry @darkrainbowlouis @queersue @alloutshirt @hs2live @chaoticlarents @nympholouis @gaykissys @harryincamp @tattooedlovers @rhymeswithumbrella 💖💖💖

And the amazing update blogs, thank you for everything that you do:

@stylesupdated @dailytomlinson @hlsource

[cureher]

i got tagged in this but i SWEAR 2 GOD i am going to write after this im so sorry for the shitposting as of late

———  BASICS! ♡

NAME! ♡   kat ! PRONOUNS! ♡     she/her ZODIAC SIGN! ♡    filthy scorpio TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡    im taken i have a lovely southern beefie

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

1! ♡     i’ve had over 100 blogs on this hellsite, it’s been over 6 years and i get so pissed whenever i forget my urls. i used to blog hop a lot like i’d make a blog and then abandon it and then make a new one and abandon it and th

2! ♡    as i said, it’s been 6 years! and im 17 now soo.... i started roleplaying on tumblr when i was 11 years old. ive... greatly improved since then (i wrote h*mestuck), and i started writing fire emblem shortly after that, when fates came out i write sakura on a blog called bloomfestaled (i ended up remaking her @bloomfest-a and then again at @bloomfest - these arent active dont follow) and i met ric (riestr) ! me and ric have known each other about 3 or 4 years now, and we’re still great friends! so, i guess some things dont change? 

3! ♡     i cosplay! i love a lot of characters a whole lot, and writing, art, and cosplay have been my avenues of expression of that. i go to cons around NC maybe twice a year, and i’ve cosplayed nozomi (love live), maki (danganronpa), ruby (love live), diana (zero escape), yukari (persona 3), and kanon (bandori). i love doing it and i just ordered a mercedes cosplay for this january. 

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡     as i said i started when i was 11 on tumblr, before that it was like... me at 9 writing on iscribble about warrior cats when i had not read the books fjkghbfkjg. i rp on discord very scarcely but like... i kinda prefer it to tumblr since i dont have 2 format but, i like having a blog and having the community here. 

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡     i 90% write females, i can count on my hand how many men i’ve written, and none of them have been for very long. really i just. like women more then men, and as a woman i really cant relate to being a man, though i think the men i’ve written were written well, i just am not super attached to a lot of male characters. when i write someone i can usually relate to or even just understand them. i like... tragic characters no matter what gender though so like.... i wrote shinjiro aragaki for like 2 days.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡   im gonna take this as muses i tend to avoid to write. i normally avoid like, stoic muses? even though i have written them in the past and i still would be down to write them, i just have a vast preference to muses that are emotional, jokey, or cynical. 

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡     i’ve made a multi in the past, and i feel like a multimuse blog would benefit me especially because of my tendency to make a shit ton of blogs and not man them. BUT, actually i didnt end up using my multi a lot just because... i missed like the time i took with making graphics and shit for each of my muses, also i thing single muse blogs end up being more organized. 

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡   im baby i will not be writing smut but i..... really prefer angst over anything i really think its a way to dig deep into a character, and i tend to write cheerful muses so, angst is really interesting to me. i’ve never really shipped a lot while on my blogs, but i do love it a lot. fluff is nice, and im interested to do more on my blog. (most of the stuff on here has been fluff, actually fkghg but thats just how mercedes be). 

PLOT / MEMES! ♡    i dont really have a preference between either, i though i think i lean towards plotting just because i get to meet new people and talk more! (i love to talk) memes are very good too...

tagged by:  my uncles @bergliez and @diezle

tagging:  i literally dont know steal it from me

[filibusterfrog]

Heeeeey Fili. Any tips for getting your art out there? I wanna take a few commissions but even with tags, I don't really get anything besides some likes and maybe a few reblogs. :\ If you have any advice on getting your name out there, that'd be awesome and very much appreciated!

aa basically I only know tumblr but heres what ive found worked for me personally (will put under the cut because its a bit long)

-Upload regularly (daily if you can), I can’t stress how important quantity is over quality in regards to getting noticed. Not only will you improve as an artist by pumping out a huge amount of art on the regular, you’ve got a whole lot of content for potential fans to sift through. I’ve been posting daily for the last 2 years haha :p

-Post your art on one blog dedicated completely to your art. Make it really easy to find through your other blogs

-pay attention to what time of day gets the most notes, for me its between 6-10am so like uhh evening for americans (

-first 5 tags are the only ones that work so choose them wisely

-tap into fandoms, then once you have a following roll out your ocs if u want

-do art giveaways, they dont even have to be milestones people just like free stuff. big payoff relative to the amount of work you put in but i did them 4 or 5 times a year for a while 

-be patient. Ive been running this blog since i was 14 and it was a good while until i broke past the threshold of 1 and 2 notes on my posts, its the largest hurdle unfortunately

-its mostly luck on this hellsite, but try your best and dont be disheartened! you can still be a kickin’ artist

general tips when u finally get a bit more love:

-be nice, be understanding and try not to flip out at all because as great as getting noticed is, drama likes to follow unfortunately 

-that being said you don’t have to listen to everything people say

-make liberal use of the block button 

anyway, to conclude, its a lot of luck to get over the first hurdle but hard work pays off 

[noecat]

tumblr crushes challenge!

in which you post your own favorite blogs to spread positivity and get your amazing blogger-friends some more followers!

tagged by @kizunah (im lov u) n @hazelnatcoffee (ive not stopped sobbing since i saw u tag me aksdjf thank u sm <3) !! ✨✨✨

aksdjf normally i dont even do these but im takin th opportunity to scream abt how much i lov mariam so !! :D enjoy

ive tagged @kizunah, @hazelnatcoffee, @hinamie, @sftae, @geminest, @belovedsheith, @phoapostrophes, @gansaey, @hcseokie, @dotingdamen, @kattenprinsen and non-mutual but very admired @d-a-z-a-i and @novocaine-sea​!! (also the ultimate tumblr crush otasucc whomst im not tagging bc im scared)

i will yell abt these ppl and how much i lov them under cut so as to avoid a 50 page long post :’D 💕

mariam @kizunah: iv no idea how u managed to go from ‘vaguely intimidating incredibly talented writer i look up to’ to ‘incredibly talented writer i look up to tht sends me memes at 3am and has made me fall in lov w two (2) soft pining bois’ so fast but.....u did tht......now our chat is th first thing i check when i wake up in th morning it’s the Start To My Day i hope u r happy..... follow mariam for solid pastel aesthetic and hauntingly beautiful writing tht will give u heartbreak by proxy !! 💕

grayson @hazelnatcoffee: i am tagging u Right Back bc,,,solid tumblr crush material,,,,on one hand i am rly honored u follow this mess, on the other hand im just !! u are such a talented writer !! and such a talented artist ??? ur ability to communicate sof sheith feels in both mediums to such devastating effect slays me 10/10 a Must Follow 💕

hina @hinamie: u kno how kurapika was like. ‘when im in this mode im a master of every single nen category’ ?? thts u. except thts u all th time. killer sense of humor and an incredible (understatement...) artist and so pretty i cld die and flawless taste in memes and th capacity to create OCs tht snatch my heart n soul n wig all in one (very basardous) move?? thts u!! how do u do that!! thank u sm for not judging me for thirsting after clowns n also ,,, a must-follow 4 anyone who likes quality 💕

pauline @sftae: i know you���re on hiatus now and thus unlikely to see this anytime soon,,,,,, but it wld feel Wrong to make any kind of crushes post without mentioning u, resident itachi lover, whomse made me laugh sm and gave me some of the probably Best conversations ive had on this site....im so sorry for stealing ur husband (it was Deserved) and i hope u are doing good out there off this hellsite (note how i didnt even mention the fact tht u are a creator yet bc i was too busy crying abt how much i lov talking to u but !! holy shit u also make Quality Content and im both crying and intimidated how is every mutual i have so talented at making things) 💕

nastya @geminest​: bi russian solidarity & prettiest pinkest pastel blog in the universe?? a whole music Genius whomse is fluent in multiple languages?? im going 2 stop typing now bc i Know i wont b able to stop after just one paragraph so im sorry tht this is going to b so short but,,,,,,,,th most quality Soft Kpop blog n distinguished iu stan, thts u 💕

mei @belovedsheith: the sweetest most positive talented writer in th vld fandom?? u!! your blog is an oasis in the sea of drama and discourse that is tumblr generally, and i really admire the compassion you show everyone and your dedication to only giving love back even when people are undeservedly rude or condescending. it takes a lot of strength to do that and i just *clenches fist* rly adore your personality and humility (esp given how you’re scarily good with words and also ur theme....god tier) 💕

pho @phoapostrophes: aksdjf it’s really .... been a while .,,.. since we talked on a personal lvl, but!! anytime i see you on my dash i get rly excited because you always reblog the best things, the best memes and the best literary things and the funniest comics...,, your sense of humor is on point and i dont know where you manage to curate such Quality Content from but im rly living for it !! 💕

nicki @gansaey​: thank u sm,,,,4 watering my crops,,,,feeding me tht good good trc food,,,,no lie i follow like maybe two (2) trc blogs n life is a whole struggle, and also!! i adore your aesthetic, and how it’s perfectly coherent from your theme to your posts...n also i love your avatar and your creations !! :’’D u have a rly rly strong sense of The Ae and tht glows in everything u put out  💕

mia @hcseokie​: hello cowboy basard whats up it’s me n i ,,,, lov u,,,,,possibly th hottest prettiest person on this hellsite w an incredible personality 2 match,,,,you have a killer sense of humour and are a really sweet person to talk to, and i really really wish you all the best and brightest things in the universe!! a tumblr crushes post isnt complete without u :’’)  💕

eve @dotingdamen​: we only talked like once which is an whole federal crime in my opinion askdjf but !! most treasured most quality yoi/captive prince/astrology mutual,,,, mostly i am very intimidated bc you look ethereal and also your writing like. im not even in those fandoms anymore but am i going to go and reread everything th moment i finish typing up this monster of a post?? u bet!! 💕

taavi @kattenprinsen​: father i am very sorry for disappointing u w frightening regularity,,,,i still rmbr when u first followed me and i screamed bc tht was like the ultimate Senpai Noticed Me moment??? honestly tht senpai-noticed-me feeling never rly faded and tht makes u the perfect candidate for a tumblr crushes post :’’’) you could probably create an entire universe w words alone--and do--n ur Powerfully Aesthetic Aesthetic makes my kokoro go doki doki,, i hope i become more like u someday!! 💕

chris @d-a-z-a-i​: kasjf the Very First blog i found after i one-shotted the entire bsd anime and was left crying over dazai,,, pretty much 90% of the best anime content i see on my dash is either reblogged from u or reblogged by u so thank u fr the food!! :’’D 💕

aja @novocaine-sea​: u once left a comment on my shitty jjbek crackfic and thts probably the most accomplished ive ever felt in my life ever,,, like it might sound cheesy but it’s one of those little moments ill carry w me forever on my writing journey? being complimented by someone as talented as you really stuck w me;; tht said, im going to go binge read your entire hq/free! tag at soonest opportunity :’’’) the things you write are 1000% up my alley nd im so ready!! 💕

lia otasucc: an inspiring person on all levels; someone ive been following since the early (yoi) days and who has not once since then been anything less than the brightest light in the fandom. i dont even go here, but im very glad you exist and motivate everyone around you to be better people as well :’D words r hard and the way you flawlessly wield yours, be it in spicy memes or cutting sarcasm, is both terrifying and moving,,, we are all lucky to have u!! 💕

[skogs-fru]

i know ive been saying it for a long time already but it’s time to remake i think...  i do this every few years, like a snake, time to shed an old skin! anyway today in therapy we talked about compartmentalizing and the types of energy you bring to a certain space.

her office is comfy, nice paintings, and a big soft couch, but she said she could never fall asleep there because it’s the space that she does her work, counseling in. i asked her how she deals with stuff because i KNOW she hears some fucked up shit, how does she cope? 

i let things get to me all the way to the core, even if the suffering isn’t about me. i have a strong desire to participate in the suffering of others, for some reason... it just doesn’t seem fair to me that some people’s whole existence is suffering and some of us get away with a lot less. if i hear of something horrible happening to someone, i imagine it happening to me, and think about how i would feel and how i would deal. maybe that’s why i’m so fucking stressed all the time lmao....

but for a while i wanted to make an art space; i tried to make one on the back porch a while ago but never kept up with it. but to only work when i was in that space. so when i enter it, i’m already kind of in the vibe i need to be.

she knows a lot of my stress is fb and general internet - related, bc i read about so many horrible things, but i also feel it’s my responsibility to stay informed. at what cost though?! because if i’m so stressed out that i can’t take care of myself, i certainly can’t help anyone else. she suggested that one of the reasons my sleep might be so fucked up is bc i do everything in my room ... including getting stressed about the terrible things i read.

so this is a great motivation for me to remake and do what i promised myself i would do with this blog (and failed lol), only follow art blogs... 

if/when i do it, i will definitely set up a constant q of the same post pointing where my new blog is :) i’d like to move to wordpress or something but uh i’ve been on this hellsite since like... 2008 ..... it will have to go down completely in flames before my fetters release...

[roccoreceipts-blog]

CALLOUT FOR MARS / BARON / ROCCO / MIMI / PIPPI / MARIA WHO CURRENTLY OWNS @VINYLBITCHIN + @HANDFUCKIING + @FLESHPRAY + @SHESCHISM + BUNKERKEPT . CONTENT WARNING FOR ABUSE, PEDOPHILIA, RAPE, RACEFAKING, ETC.
 


a quick introduction though i'm kinda uncomfortable, im 17 i run a few blogs on this hellsite and i have some concerns for people's safety. this isn't a petty post either, is genuinely fearful for myself and others she's abused in the past and will continue to do so and it's about time we all came out about this because it's gone on way too long and i blame myself more than anything for holding back. i just felt unsafe and i do more so now but it's worth other people's safety. and everybody knows i'm definitely not one to do something like this and i've had such a hard time coming out about this from guilt. i want to make this short and to the point. i don't wanna take up too much time because we could go off for hours about all of her drastic lies like how she supposedly got hypothermia in 45 degree weather or how she lied about being in a s.chool s.hooting ( one , two , three ) ironically she had sent me a fanfiction of the c.olumbine s.hooters in the past and guilt tripped me the moment i said it wasn't right. or the time she told me she was taken hostage which i might have stayed believing if it weren't for the fact she was roleplaying with a character from that movie on her @lleeta blog not too long ago ( one , two , three ) but anyway.

im never gonna be able to recover completely but i want to reach out and warn people. me and others have gone through her explicit / obsessive / rape roleplays but i can fucking guarantee no matter how many times i was ( or the others ) guilt tripped into saying YES despite how uncomfortable i was but couldn't tell her , she does still do them from what i know. she tends to warp characters ( other muns put in these scenarios have told me the same thing bc she did it to multiple people ) to make them far more obsessive / creepy then they are even meant to be. i'll start out by saying ive known rocco since the end of 2015 or so and we instantly became friends. we quickly made our ocs out to be affiliated, though they were SUPPOSED to be father and daughter (and often i would let her portray an oc i of mine who is supposed to be a love interest), she would always propose obsessive rape plots, and even an explicit plot of a forced marriage au between the father and daughter muses which was clear she wanted to lead to smut (warning for a graphic detail i can't get out of my fucking head was her saying she could imagine hannah / the daughter on her knees being forced to unbuckle his belt but said it as if it were almost ? something she got ? in a way , excited over ??) of course i don't have many screenshots of these things especially because i was isolated by her for about a year at the time , trusted her , and no matter how sick or anxious ive felt getting her messages i didn't really know i had the choice to come out about it , especially considering how hostile she would be when i had friends or even my ex .

( one , two , three , four , five ) we were actually dating at this time, which was a relationship i was basically forced / guilt tripped in after saying no countless times. she would often numb me down when i would say no to things, whether it was her asking to be in a relationship with me or even roleplay, in which at one point i've counted 20+ screenshots of her constantly begging even though i had just declined. at this time is when i was isolated so i don't the have exact proof because again, i didn't know about the abuse going on in front of my face and i didn't known what to do about it. she would constantly guilt trip me over these things and i felt very vulnerable though i do tend to play things off when i'm uncomfortable.

now i'll move on to some more recent -ish shit or at least things i haven't completely blocked out from my memory since that's most of what i have. we've been friends on and off because she had eventually set me off, our first fight being me angry that she couldn't handle when i declined her roleplays. so it's been a long cycle of me blocking her from discomfort, only for her to constantly make or log into old blogs to try and contact me to manipulate me into friendship again. and it worked. too many times. after all of that, she began to test boundaries which is something she usually does. this included throwing attitude for no reason ( i remember a time i was supposed to be making her icons and couldn't at the time and her response was "it's not that fucking hard" // she's even sent me a screenshot herself before of her in a groupchat where one of the participants had said something and told them "literally nobody cares" and expected me to comfort her after that ) + saying things she knows is wrong + stealing or making blatant rip offs of my original character ( one , two , of course there are far more instances like the time she ran @viirginblood but that's not the point of this post so i'm skipping over that ) + bringing up my past relationships / sometimes family or financial issues + constantly bringing up the fact we got in fights i was trying to move past or try to make me feel bad if i didn't reply right away ( one , two , three , four , five / she also acted very controlling to me any time i wouldn't answer so i would be forced to give an explaination and she would pretend it wasn't just her being "worried" ) + manipulating her into following her / bossing me into doing things she wanted ( one , two ). even some new information came to light that i was completely oblivious to; obviously any time i had a friend or a significant other she had no problem portraying blatant jealousy, i was also informed she was acting possessive of me even when i wasn't around, when i was actually NOT TALKING TO HER AT ALL ( one , two ) . which really freaked me the fuck out.

she would also constantly TRY to spite me when we weren't friends. she's admitted it. she's also admitted in a group call, that i still have contact with one of the participants, that she stalked me when we stopped talking and got her friends to "keep tabs on me" i was also informed of her stalking another minor not too long ago and going back to the spite stealing, it wasn't just one oc, it was concept ideas, urls, even going as far to LITERALLY flat out steal the oc i let her portray ( the one she obsessively wrote out rape roleplays with ) , lied by saying it was a "misunderstanding".

shes also is a rapist and pedophile apologist ! she roleplayed dolores of l.olita and a few people including myself can recall her literally posting / asking for a humbert to roleplay with. i don't know a lot about the film / book itself but i DO know humbert is the pedophile who abused dolores. here's some screenshots of her not only apologizing his actions burn theowing a pity party over it, claiming shen had a right to roleplay dolores getting, what i imagine must have been sexually abused ( one , two , three ).

her relationship with her ex, ( for those of you who don't know ollie you can probably easily find some information on him as a fill in on what he's done / warning for rape ) ,   she helped him catfish / fake his identity to hide what he did, shows hostility toward the rape victim and shows behavior of a rapist apologist again + talked some nasty transphobic shit about me , not to mention again , i'm underage so that's weird that it's focused on my body especially considering she's 18 here, not to mention she's not still obsessing over me when we aren't talking ( one , two ) + on her @roccospeaks blog she had a while back , she deleted the posts but i'm sure plenty of people saw that she and others were claiming that ollie was FAKING A TRANS IDENTITY ( and this isn't a kiss ass moment to him, i'm just pointing this out: this was after she made those transphobic remarks about me so i highly doubt she can blame her transphobia on being "drunk" here ) because he was wearing makeup and had a feminine appearance . i'm pretty sure the post is still floating about somewhere so if you can find it, it's all there . she continued to focus on me despite we weren't talking, blamed me for being the source of her suicidal tendencies that she's had since i've known her, ironically though she's also told me i'm the reason she says alive in the past — and something she thinks blocking her for comfort is a manipulation tactic or game to her ?? / that and here's some of her guilt tripping all because i soft blocked her ( one , two , three )

i had also recently ended a relationship with an ex of mine , which wasn't ANY of her business but she constantly brought her up plenty of times. as shown above, she's was insisting that my vague posts about ending my relationship were about her no matter what i said ( one , two , three ) + doing so either herself or i suspect getting ollie or his friends to send me anons about MY relationship because i didn't tell anybody else about it, but she sure as hell did ! all while putting blame on me ( one , two )

here are some messages i have of someone informing me she was actually racefaking ! and the funny thing about this is she's white. or at least from what i know? i know she has indeed sent me a link to a post before of a black mun venting about white people or smth like that which was NONE of my fucking business esp considering i wasn't following this person and she told me after sending me the link to the post "i thought i could trust them" where she tried tin get me to comfort her ?? this is also interesting, here she is talking about a minor, THREATENING THAT SAME MINOR, not to mention dissing sex workers and putting an input on reverse racism.

heres more of her obsessive / controlling behaviors over not letting people follow / interact with me out of sheer spite and not wanting them to be able to know what she has done ( one , two , three , four , five , six , though there's many more i lost ) here's more evidence of her interest in writing problematic issues / warning for rape ( one , two ) i have many more screenshots of her situations with ollie but chose not to post them; however if you would like to see them you can ask me, it's just her encouraging him to hack me plus some gaslighting aftermath shen sent me on mun personal when things didn't go her way.

she has also lied about her age to smut multiple times in the past , claimed to be of age here and on multiple blogs. she was at least sixteen at the time. also mentions shes underage here but then says she could LEGALLY portray sexual assault ?? and here's her saying she WILL have depictions of pedophilia on her blog. keep in mind we've known each other for a long time, though it was on and off; she knows very well i'm not 18. if told her before countless times AND it's all over my rules. BUT YET, she's persistent on sending me explicit content KNOWING IM A MINOR / ADMITTING SHE IS 18 after i had vagued about my discomfort ( one , two , three )

as i mentioned above she was always presenting nasty plots to me; i can't stress the fact that it DID make me uncomfortable whether i decided to play it off or not, but later on, when she was indeed of age, presented to me an old, incestous plot and then had the audacity to put the blame on ME, whenever i strictly recall her wanting to ship them / make the more brothers in the first place. my character had already had a brother, her oc she actually made back in 2016 was a spiral off of this canon character. so even afternoon she blamed me for it, we established that i said no, she still chose to focus on his childhood with romance. ( one , two , three , four )

again, im not the only person she's has abused like this. and compared to the things she put ALL OF US through, these have to be some of the lightest fucking examples. but i do hope it is enough to keep others safe or be a warning. i also haven't mentioned anybody for their safety, but if you think you would be willing to share your story you can add on or whatever to get it out their. i really hope you can take my word for or it as well, because it wasn't very hard for me to put myself out here but i think i did the right thing for others.

and last but not least, if she's seeing this, here's a big fat "fuck you" from all us, what you put us through, and blamed us for.

[life-of-j-anon]

i know it’s been like forever since ive been on here but i need to rant.

i dont feel like i have any friends that i trust that i can talk to. i have a therapist i see once every two weeks, but it’s not like i can talk to her every moment that i have a problem.

but i have my boyfriend. hes my best friend. my biggest emotional support system.

and tonight he told me that being emotionally strong for me is exhausting.

hes said this once before, calling it tiring. and my last bf broke up with me because my sadness on top of his sadness was too much for him to handle. another ex broke up with me because im “too much.”

today, my boyfriend was petting our cat while i was getting undressed. i asked if he wanted to watch me. he ignored me. so i finished & rolled over & grabbed my phone. then he said “can you stop pouting at every fucking thing?” & proceeded to tell me how im exhausting. he then tried to do some sexual stuff, but he realized i wasnt feeling it at all, and i told him it wasnt the sexiest thing to say to me. so then we had a long talk where basically he told me that him being the only person i talk to is exhausting to him. it felt fucking horrible. i had to go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out. i didnt feel any better, but i didnt want to worry him so i came back and acted like i was fine because i didnt want to be any more tiring.

i just feel like theres something wrong with me. multiple people have said this about me. and i fucking hate myself for being such a burden. but now im panicking, because guilt is one of the hardest emotions for me to cope with. i normally just turn to very self destructive behaviors. but ive been clean for so long and i dont want to relapse. i just feel so helpless. my number 1 outlet no longer feels like a safe space, because i dont want to bother him (not that i can tell him that, or he’ll just feel bad or frustrated), and if i tell my therapist, i’m worried she’ll tell my parents or try to have me admitted somewhere for being a threat to myself.

i just feel so alone and scared. i dont know whats wrong with me. i hate myself. and now im bottling everything up, which usually leads to, yet again, self destructive behavior. this was the last thing i could think of, that maybe ranting on the hellsite will help me feel better and less bottled up. but how fucking sad is that?? that i have nowhere else to turn??? and dont tell me i just need to make friends. trust me, id love nothing more. but the place to meet people is at school, and i go to a tiny one where i already know everyone and either dislike them or dont trust them. so yeah, all i have is fucking tumblr.

if you made it this far, thank you. your listening ears are a life saver.

[donutcryforme]

1-4 !!!!!! i dont think ive ever heard you weight in on faceclaim discourse or get hardcore invested in any celebs and i dont think you care that much but that almost makes me wanna hear your answers to this even more

you’re right! i don’t! :-)

a little bit of backstory: I basically live under a rock when it comes to pop culture and media. Not necessarily due to lack of interest, but I have the attention span of a pea, and getting invested in a tv show or movie always sounds like too much of a commitment for my tired brain. :/ (So if the celebrity became popular after, say, 2010, I probably haven’t seen anything they’re in, and pretty much solely know of their existence from my tumblr dashboard. This leads to a lot of surprises when I actually hear a face claim’s voice for the first time, months/years after I’ve been playing them)

1. your favorite face claims

I don’t think I have any! I usually wind up picking face claims after I’ve developed the character in my head somewhat, so finding an fc is mostly me searching through gif hunt tags and fc directories until I find something that matches what my brain has conjured up. Not even necessarily the physical appearance of a character, but their “essence” so to speak. Like I originally pictured Violet as a brunette, but when I saw a Katie Stevens gif hunt from her in Faking It, I was like, SOLD! She has the uh….it factor, ya know what I mean. The Violet Factor. 

Though I generally tend to lean towards actors instead of models / musicians, just because you see them in one “look” for a long period of time, in (most of the time) decent lighting in a wide spectrum of emotions and expressions. Models tend to have a look in a commercial / photo shoot for a maximum of 0.2 seconds, so even if I find a model that would be perfect (cindy kimberly), I would only have approximately….two gifs at my disposal of her in that particular look. And one of the unique things about tumblr’s rping community is the use of gifs, so I like to make it count! I could go on a tangent about how much I strongly dislike the use of teeny tiny gif icons because they defeat the purpose of gifs, but that is for another day!

tl;dr: i like any fc who I think will suit my character well! Also fcs of characters that I’ve grown attached to in previous rps due to nostalgia, though they kind of become off-limits in my head writing-wise since I can’t see them as anyone else.

2. your least favorite face claims

I couldn’t care less! I’m sure in a few more years (if Tumblr hasn’t kicked me off for being Old by then), I’ll be bitter and jaded and have a list, but for now I don’t think I really hate any fcs. Yeah, there have been a few unsavory characters in past rps who I wasn’t a fan of, but rpgs open and close all the time, and that fc is bound to get used again. It’s all about pulling your big girl pants up and moving on! Don’t hold it against someone just because of your own personal biases. You could really be missing out on a great rp friendship, ic or ooc! 

Maybe just because the specific fc is kind of an afterthought for me, but I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal. If you don’t like ‘em, don’t use ‘em, but it’s none of your business what someone else does with their character. Also this isn’t the place for me to go on a rant about banned fc lists in rps, but I have some Thoughts on them and will gladly go off in DMs somewhere…but you probably already know what I’m going to say. 

3. face claims that you are dying to use

I’m not specifically dying to use a face claim, but I’d love to use the characters they’re attached to real soon! When I fuckin’ actually write something!! However, there are some ~dream fcs ~ that although would jive with the characters super well, just wouldn’t work out for practical or technical reasons (ex. gif-wise). Cindy Kimberly would be awesome for one of my archived characters (can a character be archived if you’ve never used them, just because the rp never got up off the ground?) but she only has one (1) facial expression, and that just wouldn’t do. Also, Francisco Lachowski would have been perfect for Nate if he didn’t only look like this in one (1) picture. But, alas, we cannot create gifs from images in our brains yet. That’ll be Tumblr in the year 3000. Stay tuned. (Dear god I hope this hellsite isn’t still around. Save us.)

4. face claims that you are dying to play against

I literally do not give a rat’s ass who your character looks like! Go wild! As long as it’s just an fc and not that uncomfortable trend of rpers playing celebrities as the actual celebrity, who cares! 

That being said, any characters I hear about from my rpc friends that they’re planning on playing soon… (✿ ♥‿♥)

Roleplayer Ask Meme | Open

[goatlingsvent]

honestly as much as its best to NOT involve myself into reading the trainwreck that is, goatlings "drama" (dk what to call it sincew so much worse worsxe worse has happened) i feel ive lost a lot of love for goats as a game because while yes you can block and jusr go on ur way on goatlings without having problems w players, its a player heavy pet game so it frustrates me how like, you cant really escape. goatlings players. i feel like in the server esp (WHICH IVE SENT A VENT OUT B4 i still think the same and i feel even more validated seeing previous asks that say the same thing ive been trying to say) and entirely the site, so many just. iffy shady or just outright people known to be .. disgusting people with proof to krisgoat herself so many problems surround it and if goats wasnt heavy on interacting w others id have so much less of . just a disappointment? maybe? on how i feel abt it all. since i bothered myself to read older confession blogs seeing a side of goats on my like.. 3? years of playing this game ive never seen, legitimately i look at it then my problems now on goats and wonder if i still truly love this game enuf to keep playing :( i cant just ignore that and pretend like what others say has no weight. it hurts. i spent a lot of real money and ingame money on this game and i feel like now i want to quit but if i do itll all be for. nothing. a game that i cant accept its flaws because there are simply too many. what to do.. like just 3 years ago i was introduced to a new pet game that was very cute and had fun options and you could just do your little games and just be casual and now im stuck in a hellsite that i dont even know if i should stay or not. the fact that youre DISCOURAGED to talk negatively at all and needing confession blogs to truly be honest abt the shit we hate shouldnt be a thing to the point where theres MULTIPLE blogs for this. goatlings is not at fault for how its userbase is but .. to the staff and the owner herself? i dont know if i can say theyre outta the woods. i want to quit and idk if i should bc i dont want my love and effort put into my little cute goats and priceless items to be in vein. i probs should if it makes me so upset and stressed but like i also do still give. some shit abt this game. despite my pain. whateber. thjank u for giving a safe space for me to make a long winded post abt this ily also sorry for mi typos pc typign hard (teddybear emoji).

💅