#because she's dealing with stupid fandom shit

[ccuniculusmolestus]

one thing the tsh fandom will do is constantly overlook the significance and also implications of henry and bunny's friendship in favor of relationships like henry and camilla. (and these were all realizations i had while talking to a friend so-)

we never see Bunny directly break down. well, we never see anything period because we're looking through Richard's eyes, and Richard never sees Bunny upset. I don't mean the upset where he's being mean or being a drunk in his dorm, I mean the kind of upset where he's sobbing and yelling out insults and threats and wrestling with Henry on the floor of their palazzo. I'm talking the kind of upset where he's screaming at Henry to stop touching him while crying in his bed.

We only ever hear that fight, and the other one in Rome we just get to hear of it. None of the others ever saw Bunny in that state, and I doubt they knew how the situation even arose. Only Henry did.

Only you know the way that I break.

And matter of fact, nobody saw Henry genuinely angry too. Even when he was dealing with Charles, he wasn't pissed per se, he was just annoyed and more ready to commit his third murder. I can't remember a scene where Henry genuinely loses it with someone he knows well (so, none of his friends). We only hear of him losing his shit with Bunny EXCEPT for the scene with Judy.

You push my buttons in a way nobody else can.

You know that makes me think, again, that him losing his shit at the party had less to do with Judy and more to do with Bunny. Think about it. Why would they be at a party where Bunny is nowhere to be seen? Why wouldn't Bunny, a party animal, be there with them? You'd think he might have invited the others, or at least heard of their intent to go and wanted to join them- but he just wasn't there. Why? What made the perfectly composed, stoic Henry lose his shit over something that, characteristically, shouldn't even annoy him? Who was later established to be the only thing in Henry's life capable of making him snap to the point of losing all self-control and resorting to violence?

That's right.

Bunny.

In every other case of aggressive, intentional, sober violence displayed by Henry, Bunny is the cause, on the receiving end, both times.

Henry and Bunny knew each other too much, way too much, and I'm tired of pretending theirs was not perhaps the most significant relationship in this story. Put aside the fact that the story is literally DRIVEN by them, put aside even the fact that they both are the only ones to die at the end (too much symbolism here kms), but their relationship genuinely is so fucked up and heavy it leaves more questions the more you think about them. So no, I don't think "Camilla was the only one who saw Henry for who he was" just because she was the recipient of his occasional smiles, because Henry was not just the gentle-giant she got to see. Neither do I believe "Richard was on the same frequency as Henry" because they had a shitty childhood (tbh all of them probably did?) and because Henry saved his ass from freezing. Henry was more so his rage and the anger he tried to keep sealed with the rest of himself, a destructive force trying desperately to reign himself in. Yes, he was not a bad person per se, but he was, like Bunny, a ticking time bomb (albeit a much more destructive one).

But even despite the anger and bitterness that later poisoned their relationship, I sometimes like to think of them whilst keeping in mind the fact that Bunny was the only one who could make Henry laugh. And Henry was the only one Bunny directly told about his past/home life. I think of them as freshmen, with Bunny's hair catching the sunlight in his lazy curls as his eyes crinkle and his tone rears back in preparation for a joke Henry doesn't see coming. And Henry, awkward in his detachment, with his nose in a book, trying to keep his lips from quivering up as the awful, stupid joke registers, and then failing to keep the chuckle from slipping through when Bunny's stupidly expectant face wriggles its eyebrows at him.

They were soulmates before they were friends.

And they were friends before they were enemies

[asteromata]

I’m going to hold your hand when I say this:

Feyre isn’t a bad artist. She doesn’t draw stick figures. She’s not a bad warrior either. The inner circle is her family, they wouldn’t be mad at her for painting the walls of a magic cabin that can clean itself. She’s not a breeding mule for having a child, neither is she too young for one, given that having a child was her choice and something she discussed with her partner beforehand. She didn’t lie and wasn’t manipulated when she recognised a male character’s abuse for what it was, no matter how much you want to justify his actions.

Nesta isn’t a bad dancer. It’s mentioned, and later shown, how she can enchant people with a mere dance. She’s not a bitch for dealing with her trauma in a way that you don’t like or you don’t think is “fit for a woman.”

Elain isn’t bad at baking. She isn’t stupid and a coward for choosing to live a simple life without violence, something she detests. She still needs time to accept her turning into fae, having a mate, and let go of the last.

Morrigan isn’t a whore for wearing revealing clothes. She isn’t a stupid manipulative bitch for not reciprocating a man’s feelings towards her or for not feeling safe and comfortable around a man that hurt her, no matter how attractive both men might be. You can’t blame her for not feeling ready to reveal her romantic and sexual preferences to her chosen family when she’s spent years being abused and ridiculed by her blood relatives.

Amren isn’t a bitch for being born a creature of terrifying power that doesn’t feel a single emotion and has no real free will, created only to follow her father’s orders. She can’t be blamed for not reacting to most things the way people would do when emotions are a new thing to her after living thousands of years without them.

Gwyn didn’t fake her rape. She has no intention of infiltrating a group of people for nefarious purposes or luring a man away from another woman. She spent years in a sanctuary trying to regain her identity and bodily autonomy after being brutally assaulted and witnessing the decapitation of her sister, the only family she had left. Her decision to take her life back in her hands wasn’t made with an ulterior motive. You can’t blame her for a man’s actions and feelings (ACOSF bonus chapter) because it “threatens your ship.”

Emerie spent her whole life being afraid of her father, thinking he would kill her. She suffered him after he beat her mother to death and had to endure everyone praising him for being a ��good man” when not even her wings were spared from his cruelty. She then had to suffer the threats and humiliation of other male relatives, and not, after her father’s death, because she ran a shop by her own.

The Valkyries isn’t a stupid plot about women training as warriors and surface-level feminism. It’s about women reclaiming their lives after horrible things were done to them and gaining the power to prevent it from happening again to them or other unprotected women. Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie winning the Blood Rite wasn’t “unrealistic.” They trained for that and they trained even before knowing they were going to compete. It wasn’t a senseless victory for the sake of plot.

The obsession this fandom has with diminishing female characters, friendships, and traumatic experiences of said characters for the sake of uplifting the male ones in the series is wrong on so many levels and it has to stop. It’s not “critically thinking” or “valid criticism”, it’s misogyny. Deep-rooted misogyny. It’s ironic in a way, reading a book series that is all about women healing, discovering themselves and finding true love and friendship, only to shit on its female characters.

[ffjj5]

Its been a while Jikookers, but let me tell you why...

Just a warning this post will talk about grief and death, so if you aren't in a place to want to read that right now please scroll past 💜

On October 11th my world changed and I am still working out how to be in it without my best friend. I have never felt loss and pain like I do right now but I am surrounded by amazing friends and family who will help me work this shit out. My beautiful friend of 20+ years died after a very short time in Neuro ICU following a burst brain aneurysm. No warning, just walking home from lunch with a friend on the 3rd October and she collapsed in the street, she never regained consciousness and died peacefully surrounded by her siblings, children and mum 8 days later on 11th October.

It's the little things I am struggling with, the coffee dates on my days off, the messages she would send just to say 'love you' and ask how your day was, the random phone calls because she was putting off gardening or housework, the messages to say have lovely trip the day before or after you went as she always got the date wrong, but she never forgot the important dates and would spend her last pound to get you a card to celebrate.

One of the reasons for me posting on here is because I want to recognise how being part of this fandom and being a Jikooker has had a profound impact on my grieving during this time. In life some people come along and impact on your life in a way they may never understand because you can't find the right words to tell them, but even from thousands of miles away their words bring you strength and comfort, a hug in the form of a voice message. Part of me working through this shitty grieving process has been to just say what is in my head into my phone and send the message to this person, with no expectation of a reply or words of wisdom, but she has never let me down. Even if its just to say 'keep going, it will get better', she has never allowed me to feel unheard.

So @dgtn please stand up and accept your virtual hug, until I can give you one in person 😊

A week ago we had a ceremony and celebration of life for my friend and it was beautiful, the sun shone, we cried, we laughed ( she loved to laugh and was always making us laugh) and I started on the next part of my grief journey, to learn to live without her but never forgetting her.

Everyday is a new day and some are harder than others, work is either a blessing of a distraction, or a curse, as my ability to deal with stress and the stupidity and pettiness of the general public is better some day then others. My work colleagues have been beyond amazing and the love and support they have given me has been beyond anything I could imagine. But I know my friend would be shouting at me to live my life now as it is too damn short and can be gone in an instant, so that is what I am doing. Next year is busy, first K-pop concert (Ateez, don't get me started on how excited I am), West end theatre show, and the icing on the cake is a trip to Niagara falls and NYC in March! Not to mention the impending BTS concert when that pesky military service is over for all our guys.

Music is an important part of my life and BTS' music has helped me massively, I have cried to it, I have sung my heart out to it, and I have sat in silence and just listened to it and taken comfort from their lyrics.

One song which has seen me do all three is Zero o clock, so what better way for me to sign off than with this...

[slowpokedragon]

fellow huntlow hater. roast them

YAAAAYY OK HERE I GO

fandom ruined it - why is willow commonly hotsexy fat girl w huge boobies OR extremely ooc shy when we know her personality changed after her memories were burned. why is hunter always uwu shy boy when hes got pretty fucking severe anger issues, theyre just leashed.

boring - literally zero taste ship. what do they even have in common aside from flyer derby. fucking amity and hunter have more chemistry (does anybody remember eclipse lake CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME)

comphet nightmare - WILLOW... WILLOW YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A BUTCH LESBIAN... WILLOOOOOWW!!!! WILLOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

no chemistry - LITERALLY THIS. fuck man idek what else to say they just dont have shit in common! willow literally triggers him in FTF w the flapjack photo and then shes like "ohh... im sooo sorry i did this... im gonna run away and cryyh....." HUH? why is she making it about herself ?? literally forced to be ooc for sake of ship... why is hunter comforting her abt this during her ooc as shit breakdown when by all right he has a right to be angry and has been shown to be the type to hold a grudge? and for that fucking matter, willow has never actually been the type to "smile and hold it all in" in the same way that luz is. she WOULD actually rely on camila and talk to her, because shes used to having good parents she can rely on. (not to say camila is a bad parent, but clearly she and luz struggle communication wise.) I MUST ALSO COMPLAIN... WHEN DOES ANYBODY CALL HUNTER "HALF A WITCH"? HE IS LITERALLY A TEEN PRODIGY. people dont even know hes powerless without his staff, we LITERALLY SEE LUZ REALIZE THIS ON SCREEN!!!? why the FUCK is canon trying to tell me that they can bond over being called "half a witch"? BULL FUCKING SHIT

stupid, in an annoying way - willow and hunter are both in turns forced to be the damsel in distress for ship moments when theyre both extremely competent combatants and the struggles they face that enable those ship moments are Fucking Dumb.

how tf is this even a ship? - literally forced to be ship by the show... hunter my beloved you could have been the lumity homewrecker (and i have THOUGHTS on how Nothing the lumity ship is and how dirty they did amitys character)

keep that girl away from him! - ah yes willow, the forceful character who tends to impose her will on her friends post memory episode, and has even used magic to restrain hunter before (flyer derby episode); im sure this will be great for hunter's self actualization and cause zero backsliding in regards to him being used to being the caretaker for belos who bends to his will under every single thing and is a people pleaser and has only been shown to be himself properly around luz (and gus to a lesser extent)!!!!!

i can fix them if i actually cared - this would require a real huntlow based episode where they talk things out and willow becomes uncomfortable with how hunter is willing to do anything for her and even gets her things before she asks (like, if she mentions being thirsty, before she even gets up hes already back with a glass of water and an expression akin to a dog awaiting praise.) this compounds over the episode until she freaks out a bit and then sits him down and asks what His Fucking Deal Is and hes forced to confront his people pleaser nature, and resolves to change for the better.

its genuinely just bad. - REEKS of "oh shit we gotta pair everybody off except not gus cuz hes a baby but we will also shiptease him and matt btw youre never getting a proper mlm ship Fuck You". ...also i must once again complain about ooc willow. why does she only reciprocate hunter's crush after he isnt disabled anymore (unable to use magic)? like, its not a good look. yikes! once again i must also complain abt the writers turning hunter from bratty and sarcastic to the malewife for the girlboss x malewife trope... why did they do this to you king. i will not deny willow becomes a girlboss though, she genuinely changes as a person, but why does she become so over the top aggressive towards hunter specifically, mandhandling him w magic like she does to NOBODY else, and forcing her will on him?? its fucking weird

i need the shippers to die - INSUFFERABLE! FUCK MAN who give a shit whats canon!! fuck off and leave me alone i will ship lunter, willuz, amillow, and huntmity as i please!! why must you harass us! "weh weh luz and hunter have a sibling relationship" if you dont fuck off and leave me alone they are LITERALLY JUST FRIENDS why must everything be nuclear family tropes to you people. do you understand that found family does not mean any ships within that dynamic become incestuous? the entire point is that it is a Found Family which dynamics differ from a traditional familial dynamic!! I Am Going To Wring Your Neck.

better as friends - everyday i think about the ending credits of WAD and willow leading hunter down the hill... how cute would that have been as a friends scene... i wouldnt even have been mad if it was shiptease post canon w zero other shippy content

NO ONE GETS THEM BUT ME!!!! - ohhhhhuuuuhhhhhggggghhh... huntlow i ship you under such specific circumstances...... adult huntlow my dream..........!!!!!!!! LESBIAN BUTCH WILLOW FEMME TGIRL HUNTER HUNTLOW???? GAAAHHHHH

just make ocs atp - re: being ooc as shit in most content. someone please give hunter his anger issues swag back. also im just gonna tangentially complain that I Do Not Like Tboy Hunter. just... puts a hand on the fandom's shoulder. think about how that would work in canon for a minute. why would philip create a grimwalker meant to mimic his brother and then not give it an AMAB body. be so fucking for real right now. i dont wanna hear shit about "what if caleb trans" in a serious argument sense. no he is not it was the 1600s and they were already ostracized from gravesfield upon moving there and became witch hunters to fit in! his ass would have been lynched for being a witch bc "only witches have gender nonconforming properties" was a real and actual thing back then. BE SO FOR REAL!!!!! and i dont wanna hear shit about "well what if hormone changing potions" because ONE hunter has completely different physiology and we do not actually know how potions work on him and TWO are you seriously trying to tell me philip wouldnt scrap a grimwalker with a completely incorrect set of genitalia. ARE YOU REALLY TELLING ME THAT THE WHITE CIS PURITAN MAN -

its too popular - literally i have the tag blocked and its just allllll filtered posts in hunter or willow's tags all the way down

[olderthannetfic]

Okay, I need advice: I'm in a very tiny fandom (like less than two dozen active people and everyone knows each other) and one of the women in it is kind of freaking me out.

We became mutuals because we had some good discussions on some of the characters we liked, but I soon became sort of uncomfortable with a lot of her online behavior whereas simultaneously she's DM-ing me more and more.

She's one of those people who's a hardliner on the issues she cares about (mostly feminism- and SA-related) while talking over people when it comes to issues she doesn't care about (mostly racism and related things). And I see a lot of her trying to intrusively police how other people talk/act, derailing people's posts, arguing with people online over the most stupid shit (where not even her own opinions come off as overly coherent - this week she'll argue something along the lines of "men are evil" and the next she'll argue that people are "demonizing masculinity" - I'll add for clarification that she's not a TERF and supports trans rights but boy... Does she sound like one sometimes) and then digging through people's profiles to find and publicize minor transgressions and bad takes, passive-aggressive vagueposting, and going into mental breakdowns over the most innocuous of online interactions.

TBH she scares me. As someone who suffered through toxic people getting overly attached to me, I genuinely sometimes get a physical reaction when I see her lashing out on the dash.

And she keeps initiating conversations! And sometimes I don't reply or bring the conversation to a natural closure and she keeps at it, or sends me random fics of hers to read that I don't have the heart to tell her don't interest me or whatever. And recently when she disagrees with something I reblogged she direct messages me to rant about it - with a lot of sort of indirect language because she doesn't want to offend me but I can see the intent. The last couple of times I replied politely because I cared about clearing misunderstandings on the topic but next time I'm just gonna tell her I dislike it when she does that.

I really want this person to stop interacting with me, to be honest, and all my polite hints to the effect go unnoticed. But the fandom is so small I feel awkward and uncomfortable about unfollowing or blocking her. I don't think she's too bad of a person, she just comes off as very... Mentally ill, I guess? And since I've tried to be polite so far I feel like it might come out of left field for her?

TBH I feel like something about her behavior also triggers some kind of freeze/fawn reaction inside of me that I don't often get and consequently don't know how to deal with.

So I need impartial advice because I don't see the situation clearly myself

--

To summarize, a person who is a walking red flag wants to be friends, and you can't easily ghost her because the fandom is small.

I think you have to accept that there is no low-conflict way out of this.

That's what's holding you back, right? You don't want more drama and you know it's coming. I think you already know in your heart of hearts that you need to get away from her even if it's a pain in the ass.

Step one is to stop responding to her DMs. That will probably make her reach out more, but you should keep not responding. If she escalates and attacks you over it, block her.

The more you offer reasons or try to gently hint, the more that will encourage her. I don't think that's true of everyone, but I do think it's the case here. This is both because it doesn't sound like she's good at perceiving or respecting boundaries and because she inspires a bad lack of ability to assert boundaries in you.

I agree that it's unfortunate that you can't stand up for yourself or tell her plainly when she's out of line, but since you can't and that probably won't change any time soon, you'll need to protect yourself a different way. Sometimes, we just have to avoid people who are bad for us even when it's an us problem. (And here, whoaaaa red flags, so I don't think it's just a you problem anyway.)

There are many sad, lonely, needy people in the world. Some of them are officially mentally ill in some way with a diagnosis. Some just need things they aren't currently getting. That sucks...

But it's also not your job to fix.

[angstflavoured]

again and again, fandoms do this same shit dude. points to my very large 'you can be pissed at a characters actions and not really like them as a person and still enjoy their character without having to excuse what they're doing' sign. like I was just dealing with this shit with Curly Mouthwashing and now its the same thing with Cait Arcane.

watching the first 3 eps, she was legitimately pissing me off. its supposed to. media is supposed to make you FEEL things and convey a message. I love Caits character a lot and really enjoy her writing, but people legitimately just going 'yass get ur revenge girl, reasonable crashout' is hurting my fucking brain.

Like do you not understand that Vi's parents dying due to unreconciled oppression from enforcers is not the same thing at all as Cait's parent (the. oppressor.) being killed in rebellion ?? and Cait comparing those two things and acting like how she is now is fucking ridiculous. and her trying to mold Vi into someone 'civil' because shes 'not like those other filthy stupid undercity dwellers' is fucked up and toxic.

Does it make sense for her character? Yes! Did I enjoy the writing? YES. And I hope they don't backtrack and just magically fix things because i love the tension and the angst. But its fucking stupid and she pisses me off. That doesn't mean I 'cant handle' her character. She's just becoming an antagonist. Like oh my god, can people stop just blindly standing by every single decision a character they like does and try to excuse it all? characters being morally grey makes them interesting, don't piss me off.

[theallianceofcelestials]

Okay, so apparently people have been harassing Kat, Earth's VA because they... don't like the characters she plays and how she writes for the show? The actual fuck?

Like don't get me wrong, perfectly fine to look at a character and decide you don't like them, even hate them potentially, but you don't go and harass the people responsible for making the character. That's just plain dumb. I hate/dislike characters from some of the shows (Bonnie from Moon and Sun Minecraft for example), but that doesn't give me the right to go and harass their VAs. BECAUSE IT'S JUST A CHARACTER FOR A SILLY LITTLE SHOW PEOPLE MAKE FOR FREE! IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS! Sure I may rant about the character, but NEVER badmouth the actor, because them being able to achieve such a visceral reaction out of me by just looking at the character, makes them so incredibly talented.

Like how can you be so fucking terminally online, that you decide to harass someone because "I Don't LiKe ThE chaRacTeR"?! Like that's no valid reason to do that! Go and touch some god fucking grass, my god! I swear it's actually good for you!

Like this is just straight up disgusting behaviour in general. It's unacceptable, and shows just how much of a coward these people actually are, because there're no consequences for THEM. And well, they clearly don't fucking care about their fellow human beings, so like jfc.

And like the shit Kat does is for FREE! She doesn't charge us money for her services! She just went and did some amazing stuff for us, and now some idiots're feeling butthurt because they hate female characters or something.

I sincerely hope it was only a couple of individuals at worst, and a single person at best, because my faith in humanity is already rather fragile, and this is just ridiculous and pathetic.

So like, if by some miracle the person/people who harassed Kat is/are reading this, I want you to know this says more about to how sad and pathetic you actually are, and how you peaked back on the playground as a bully and didn't manage to develop into an actual fucking person, than it does anything about Kat. I hope you realise just how stupid you are, but I know you likely won't. Because people like you lack brains, so you can't comprehend basic fucking concepts like how the sky is blue, and 2 + 2 is 4. Or how grass is not your fucking enemy.

This isn't about just just Kat, because from what I've heard, other female characters' actresses get similar bs, and their characters get tremendous ammount of hate compared to male characters that potentially did incredibly horrid stuff, but I don't really follow the other TSBS to know what's going on. But my gods. That's so disappointing.

Why are fandoms nowadays so toxic? Back in my day, and I'm not that old myself either, and joined fandoms later than most people in said fandoms, since I'm a not native english speaker, but back in the day fandoms were so much more positive. Sure, there was the toxic minority, but they were just that. Loud small group of jerks. Like when did we start catering to these people? When did we decide that these toxic people were whom we should listen to, and explain every little thing we do to them? Like why do I have to explain why I like villian characters or whatever to internet strangers? I think people are more than smart enough to realise morality should not be taken from media!

And when did fanart and fanfic start becoming expectation, something the fanfic writer has to do, the fanart artist has to do? Instead it being the expression of joy and feelings the consumed media gave them? When did shipping become life or death? When did a headcanon or an AU become so fucking serious that lives apparently depend on it with how people jump eachother? Why can't we just relax and have fun? Like do what fandom is meant for?

This is obviously not for the people who didn't do any of this shit, but the fact I need to clarify that or someone will get offended is disheartening. Like people please deal with your anxieties! If it's not your shirt, don't put it on as a saying in my native tongue goes!

Sorry for the angry rant, it's just so disappointing, especially because Kat is such a talented person! I really enjoy how she plays these characters and I love her writing! So I thank her for deciding to not just quit altogether, no matter how understandable that would have been! I hope stepping back will make things better!

I just hope her mental health doesn't have to suffer more, because this shouldn't have happened to her in the first place. She's been doing amazing work, for free I'll say once again, and I'll forever cherish it! I hope things get better for her!

If by some miracle this reaches Kat, thank you for sticking with us for as long as you have! I hope things'll get better for you! Take care of yourself! :)

[sissytobitch10seconds]

I think it's kind of interesting that Viktor is overshadowed by his siblings both in the canon and fanon.

In season one I could understand it. Despite Viktor being the main character that literally drives the entire plot, everyone focuses on the other characters. People make fun of Luther for talking about the moon all the time. Everyone is almost creepily obsessed with Klaus and the Vietnam fling that he had. No one really talks about Allison, but her story is primarily linked with Viktor's since she's trying to heal their relationship (fandom misogyny too). I think that there's a decent amount of talk around Five since he's such a fascinating character. There's quite a lot of talking about Diego too, since he loses Eudora and spends a lot of time trying to take care of Klaus. But no one really talks about Viktor and the amount of shit that he goes through in s1. All the siblings other than Allison completely abandon him too, and Allison only wants the idea of a 'sister' that she's built up in her head since she lost her husband and daughter.

In season two, it makes even less sense to not talk about what Viktor has done. He has a queer love story with Sissy and we get to see way more development and chemistry for, Klaus and Dave had a montage and some sad lines from Klaus as opposed to an entire arc through ten episodes, but no one really does anything with it. Allison gets basically no attention for the same fandom misogyny issues as before. Five gets some attention because of the fact that he's exhausted and still dealing with the Commission (his fight scenes are amazing). Diego gets the same treatment as Luther did but a little more deserving because the plan to save JFK was stupid. Luther gets totally sidelined and ignored too, but people really hated him in S1 so I'm not surprised. Klaus gets all the attention again even though his plot outside of Ben possessing him is honestly really boring and makes me so uncomfortable.

Season three is where Viktor should have gotten the most attention. If we're considering the fact that the TUA fandom has a very queer audience, then they should be super excited and celebrating the fact that Viktor is trans. Not only that, but he's also working his ass off so that he can fix things for Allison and get her back to a timeline where her daughter exists or back to the sixties. I think a lot of people ignore that, giving Five more credit than he deserves for trying to fix the world when Viktor was doing that until Harlan showed up and he wanted to handle that first. A lot of attention during the debut went again to Klaus, which was actually warranted this time since he was plot relevant by showing us things about Reggie and discovering his powers. Diego got more attention since he was parenting Stan and fighting with Lila, which was nice. Five got some meme attention but nothing serious and Luther got a little bit of genuine love. But mostly people just posted the conversation where Viktor comes out to his family and continued to ignore him.

Now Season four is out and no one cares about Viktor. He stands up to Reginald and says all of the things that he needs to say, he fights like Hell to try and save Ben from the Durango and get him someplace stable, he owns a bar and got fucking KIDNAPPED. No one is talking about him, all people are doing is complaining about fivela and the ending.

Viktor moved to Nova Scotia probably to get better trans healthcare, but also because none of his siblings care about him. My man is a tiny trans man that got kidnapped and ransomed off the street and they couldn't care less about him when they show up, Five is taking notes about the room they're in instead of checking to make sure that his childhood best friend is okay. Luther may have made him best man at his wedding, but it was just because Viktor had only just come out and all the other siblings were non options (never been close with Five, butted heads with Diego who didn't even want the wedding to happen, not their Ben, and Klaus was officiating) which was the same reason Lila was Sloane's maid of honor. Diego and Viktor barely spare two words at each other despite their closeness in the comics. Lila and Allison say something briefly to him before they also fuck off further into the plot.

Viktor isn't liked by his family despite them trying to include him in it when it's convenient for them, and he's also disliked by the fandom. I went into the TUA tag and about half of the top twenty posts were about someone else with him tacked on as an afterthought.

[drawbauchery]

Been going through the DR tag and seeing you talk about Chihiro reminds me of how much shit I got in a server once for using he/him and they/them because I was 'undermining Chihiro's development' or some shit all because I'm somewhat neutral on the gender debate. (spoiler alert, the person ended up kicked for starting stupid fights like the one they did with me. It was sorta funny in a sad way)

ooghh that person sounds embarrassing. using she/her and, to a lesser but noticeable degree, they/them is what undermines chihiro's development. idk how many times the characters have to look at the screen and tell us that chihiro is a man with he/him pronouns for the fandom to Get It. there shouldn't be any debate, he's a guy. sorry they made you deal with that -A-

[the2lees]

time for a quick rant about the murder drones fandom

y’all be throwing every goddamn female character into the Pit of Mischaracterization for the sake of Lack of Media Literacy and Misogyny (these are capitalized because I wanted to)

but not only that, y’all make N out to be the golden child dumbass Can Do No Wrong character when like�� bro’s not stupid??? or infinitely sweet???? he literally DECAPITATED Cyn-Tessa like ????

I like to paint these guys as simplified versions purely for comedic purposes but the more I hang out around here it’s like y’all actually believe that shit????

I never got the vibe of V being jealous of Uzi. that shit is like… kinda not true at all??? and N is clearly the kinda guy to look on the bright side, but that shit is a COPING MECHANISM. Uzi is pessimistic for the same reason

NONE of these characters are mentally well and they all have different ways of dealing with it. Uzi (and V a bit) remind me of myself. they’re both hostile to those they care about because it’s easier to drive them away than let them in.

also, everyone bitching about Uzi killing her classmates needs to grow up. yeah, sure they didn't deserve it (ig) but they were literally background characters solely made to antagonize and ostracize Uzi. and she clearly feels bad about doing it too so I don't know why y'all throwing such a fit over it the show is literally called MURDER Drones the drones are gonna kill ppl

y’all don’t harp on any of the literal genocide bots so why does Uzi get this treatment? hell, y’all don’t harp on DOLL either! it’s a weird double standard and y’all outta grow up

V isn’t some fan service pantless ex, Uzi isn’t a monster evil demon annoying alt girl, and N isn’t a well of infinite goodness to be trampled on. stfu

[princess-charlie-of-hell]

Those two have tormenting my mind FOR THIS WHOLE MONTH holly shit, like okay i already was fine about their chemistry and such around the pilot era but now is JUST AAA- genuinely brainrot after my 4 year break from hazbin. I have soo much talk about it and just HGKHKHHH soo much i wanna see with those two idiots in the show (affectionate). But honestly i already know people talked about it but eh fuck it.

LIKE OKAY FIRST OF ALL EPISODE 1 LIKE AM SORRY ALASTOR OUT ALL OF THE CHARACTERS?? DOES A FREAKING COMERCIAL ON TV EVEN DO HE HATES TECHNOLOGY, also home boy why do you have so many photos of Charlie????

SECOND OF ALL freaking episode 5 MAN I CAN'T genuinely i haven't laughed and giggle like that in forever like lucifer getting pissed off because Alastor was getting close to Charlie only to turn into a musical about how he's a better person then her father who can offer to her everything and basically saying straight to lucifer that "you're daughter calls me daddy, bitch" LIKE HELLO??

EPISODE 7 I- no comments every time i rewatch genuinely i thought that she was just about to kiss him just so he can shut up about he's nonsense and stupid jokes, like freaking straight up she was having a break down while he was just smiling like a gremlin and not listening to whole context other then just what he hears which i can already imagine this is what he heard in he's mind "Yeah i'm having a break down right now bla, bla, bla... my girlfriend just keep the biggest secret since we bla, bla, bla and now heaven is bla, bla... I think this is you're perfect opportunity to make a deal with you and repay you later with something special"  And then their the half of the episode where basically everything should explain for itself like come on even freaking Rosie calls him out on that and HE EVEN GIVES HER THE FREAKING MIC something that is part of him like DUDE.

Oh dear episode 8 finale was honestly for me the cherry on the top, seeing Charlie soo happy that Alastor was alive and the fact she didn't even haste to hug him just made my heart melt l like soo much freaking joy from her. Also my brother was starting having a freaking breakdown saying that "Oh am gonna be the one who's pulling on the strings" yeah honey no, hate to break to you but she is fixing you! don't you dare come up with random poor excuses for getting feelings for her.

Seriously am speechless soo many scenes that just no comments.

I NEED season 2, praying on knees we are getting more of them hopefully, like genuinely if she the one who fixes he's scar and the have a moment alone I- or a small kiss on the cheek or Charlie keeps on fixing him and Al opening up about he's life, swear soo many opinions. Not meantion a while ago Amir Talai during a interview he was asked a question during the topic about the possibility of Alastor getting redeem and that question was this "Of all of the characters in the show, who do you think he cares about the most like who will he go above and beyond for versus any anyone else" and freaking smile like a god damm gremlin saying he won't answer that fully knowing something is happening and am like BRUH YOU- come on all the hints are on the table at this point like their just keep teasing us with it.

But that's all my apologies if i ramble to much just can't help myself, lmao.

Massive thank you for the charlastor fandom for keeping together in hard times because jeez talk about the definition of hell, hope season 2 gives us some treats for all that happened.

Oh yeah i swear this just straight up a call out to those two.

Oh my god yes, I feel you first I saw the ship in the pilot and was instantly hooked on it but then I saw episode 7 with the scenes in Charlie's bedroom and was just like 👀👀👀. The chemistry between them was so strong that it could have been used for a Chemistry Lesson

In episode 1 where the Commercial was shown and Alastor said later that his face is made for radio only, I just thought "OK My face was made for radio then why did you film it" or when Charlie was shown, I heard people theorizing that he got extra close to Charlie to film her because he doesn't really know how to use a video recorder and I love it. Of course he has many photos of her, he is obsessed with Charlie

Episode 5 and Hell's greatest dad, despite people using it to hate on Charlastor, honestly was a win for the ship too. Like Anon said, Alastor practically using the "Your daughter calls me daddy (and I call her mommy) card and Charlie defending him against Lucifer was just great" he is doing it for me! "or don't forget Lucifer thinking that Alastor is her boyfriend. Mimzy calling Charlie Alastor's princess, Like why do so many think they are dating

Episode 7 was just Chefs kiss, like I already said the bedroom scene with them was just how the hell am I supposed to not ship them?! Charlie and him walking arm in arm to the cannibal colony and Rosie teasing Alastor that she is too young for him. Or the fact that Alastor gave his cane to Charlie while ready for this. People can tell me what they want but Alastor adores her despite him wanting to manipulate her

Alastor opening up even a bit to Charlie in season 2 would be great, like it makes sense that she is and not someone else. Both of them are the leads and as that their relationship hopefully develops in the show, let's just hope Charlie gets attention from the show. I hope the trend about people thinking they are together continues, image Alastor's mother thinking that Charlie is his girlfriend

And as I saw the interview from Alastor's VA my first thought was that he is talking about Charlie like it makes just sense that she will become a very important person for Alastor, whatever platonic or romantically, but I am not trying to get my hopes up as the show and fandom seems to dislike Charlastor (despite it being one of the most interesting ships)

Don't worry about rumbling too much about them, there isn't too much about them, I could talk hours about the ship! Like they are too cute and interesting. We have a saying in my home country "Zwei idioten, ein Gedanke" which translate to Two idiots, one thought and I think that describes Charlastor very well

[its-been-rose]

One of my favorite things (I seem to have many of these) about killer frequency is that it is not afraid to have its sympathetic characters be assholes. In a world where fandom culture overly sanitizes character flaws, media is turning in the same direction where it creates characters that have no flaws to avoid controversy and discourse.

Killer Frequency is just like “yes this is our main character, even if you choose the nice dialogue options he is upset, he misses his home, he misses his old job, he’s bitter about leaving, he’s got a nasty attitude about it, and he hates Gallows Creek, and you’re gonna have to fuckin deal with it.”

Forrest has the tendency to snap and kinda say shit that could be hurtful and rude, or even downright makes fun of people dying because he thought of a good one liner and he thinks he’s the funniest guy alive. Peggy lies, hides/destroys company property and we know she skips important work events to go get drunk with her friends. Sympathetic characters like Jason and Chuck did some stupid shit when they were young. Ponty is trying to scam KFAM for more free ads despite being well aware of the crisis at hand.

AND WE STILL LIKE THEM. BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT MARVEL HEROES WHO HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG EVER.

[murainhell]

You know? I really want to know more about Lilith, because I find her a very interesting character and I feel like the fandom is being a bit mean to her.

Most of what we know about her is what Charlie tells us in the little story, and as her daughter I'm going to assume that the story is embellished. But even if the details are not precise, there are some facts that make me think a lot about the timeline of events with Lilith and Lucifer.

I mean, it seems like Lucifer's heartbreak with humanity started pretty early on, and I guess that quickly led to depression (the spanish dub uses "he lost his will to LIVE"). It's something that has been there for most of his time in Hell.

In the meantime, Lilith thrived and is ‘to blame’ for Hell taking its shape and sinners gaining power. She inspired everyone to build and achieve new things.

That's two very opposite positions, and I honestly won't hold it against Lilith for being disappointed with Lucifer; she wanted to do the best she could with the limited opportunities they had, and her own partner was apathetic and wanted nothing to do with the other humans in their realm. Living with a depressed person, especially one who is telling you that your dreams or ideas aren't going to work, is complicated, and we don't know how long they stayed that way.

Isolating him is not the answer, especially when it deprives Lucifer of seeing his own daughter, but I can understand that Lilith thought she was doing the best for Charlie and they could resume the relationship later if he tried (when Lilith disappears it is Charlie who has to reach out to him).

From the way Charlie presents the events, the exterminations are a direct response to Lilith and her actions. A massacre that Lucifer accepts. At this point I imagine Charlie was born, as his main concern is to ensure that those born in Hell cannot be touched by angels. Charlie is safe.

The thing is. The hellborn are safe. You know who isn't? Lilith.

Were Lilith and Lucifer together by then? Maybe not and that's why he didn't care about her. Maybe yes and this resolution to the overpopulation problem (really, extermination of hypothetical armies) was the last straw.

Why is she in Heaven? What was her deal with Adam? Why do I keep thinking of Adam as the typical guy who sees his ex and tries to win her back or get some favours or some stupid shit like that instead of ignoring her?

Look, we don't have any information, but what if Lilith was cornered years ago and Adam took the opportunity to ‘kidnap’ her. What if Lilith is a prisoner? Because come on, Heaven sure is the place where your prison will be a beautiful beach. Why wouldn't she contact her own daughter, who is so proud of keeping her mother's dream alive?* Maybe they won't let her communicate with anyone. Until now, since Lute is demanding her to talk to Charlie to stop her plan.

* What dream, because it could be that Charlie heard her mother looking for a solution to the exterminations, although perhaps she misunderstood how Lilith wanted to handle it. The hotel seems to be Charlie's thing.

I don't know, I just see so many people think she's super evil, that she abandoned everyone, that she hates Lucifer and wants to destroy everything. And, I mean, maybe! Hope she'll have fun while doing it! But there's also that other option that she's surviving as best she can in a dificult position and we'll see what happens in S2.

[utilitycaster]

no d20 spoilers here since i know you know the gist of the drama but the fact that both kipperlilly (and the ratgrinders as a whole) and laudna are sending the their respective fandoms into meltdowns is FASCINATING to me!!! Especially happening at roughly the same time

I am now officially caught up and. not to brag but, called it re: the Rat Grinders, huh, except it's even more stupid. Like. The "but they're literally minors?" argument sort of falls apart given that they're the same age as the Bad Kids, and are actively trying to kill them, the "but redemption" argument doesn't mean shit since at no point did they make any forays towards redemption and indeed sicced a bunch of dragons on the Bad Kids, and so we're left with nothing but an impotent desire to not have a sick-ass battle in the finale of a D20 Campaign. And, perhaps, an uncomfortable realization that they are not unlike the Rat Grinders and the narrative said "lmao yeah you suck".

Laudna's shit? not that different actually. Like there's a lot of reasons why the arguments defending her are bullshit but the biggest one is that the "Laudna has never done anything wrong ever in her life and Imogen is her tether" crowd have painted themselves into a delightfully tiny little corner and they can't hide it anymore. Like, okay, so, is Laudna in control of her actions? Because if so she just attacked Orym in the middle of the night. Is she not? Because if so why hasn't she made the efforts that Chetney and FCG and Imogen (at least sometimes) did to address that? If the issue is trauma why is hers more valid than that of others? If it's abuse tell me how you feel about Caleb, Fjord, Beau, and Percy? Why is Orym shutting down the conversation when he says the Vanguard killed his family but Laudna's not doing the same when she tells Ashton not to speak to her of loneliness and Chetney not to speak to her of loss when she doesn't have a monopoly on either?

Why is it Bells Hells' job to endlessly accomodate Laudna and why are so many people suddenly talking about Bells Hells as an abstract 7-headed entity that didn't deal with Laudna's problems when those same people (if they were around at the time of the gnarlrock airing, and many of them weren't) were like "NO THEY SHOULD MAKE UP AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND IMOGEN IS A BITCH BECAUSE LAUDNA DIDN'T MEAN IT." Why wasn't it an issue for them when Laudna's ranting about her time in Issylra and how hard it was got shut down by Imogen kissing her because that's why it didn't stay in the spotlight. Why wasn't it an issue for them when Imogen said "if you need her, that's my answer"? Why is it Orym or "Bells Hells" in the abstract who never spent time on Laudna's trauma after months if not years of throwing a fit any time someone (often me) (not always though) pointed out how much Imogen and Laudna were shoving under the rug and not dealing with? What does it say that you can't even expect Laudna's partner to be the one supporting her through this- it has to be Orym? Why doesn't Laudna have any responsibility here? At minimum she could have spoken up about the sword at at least two if not three junctures and she didn't.

There's a lot of things I hold in contempt, and after the obvious things like bigotry, two I really detest are hypocrisy and dereliction of responsibility. It's been extremely telling with both the D20 and CR discourse that people do not like seeing the story and the fandom say "hey actually you need to take responsibility for your actions, you only get redemption if you work for it, and if you leave a room hoping someone will follow you without saying that's what you want? Don't be surprised if no one does." The reason everyone was preparing to stop Laudna was because she was, in every action and decision, showing herself to be a person in need of being stopped. Can you describe this perfect balance of gentleness in which she's never pushed too hard but she does talk about her trauma and work through it and in doing so leaves Delilah? Have you demanded any other member of Bells Hells be granted that same gentleness and patience and kindness or do you think Orym should get over his grief because it's inconvenient to your arguments.

Just as the Rat Grinders show the narrative saying "being an entitled, resentful, jealous person who hurts others from jealousy makes you an easy tool to be manipulated into cruelty and you need to deal with that," I think Laudna shows the narrative (and certainly the fandom) saying "you do have an obligation to deal with your trauma, especially if it causes you to hurt others, and you can ask for help but you can't just sit on your ass waiting for someone else to initiate the process for you" as well as "if you do hurt people because of your trauma they may be angry with you, this may shape how they see you, and they are justified in that because you hurt them" and I think people in both fandoms hate being told that because I think a lot of the people sparking the discourse really do think that you can shield yourself from criticism over your hurtful actions by claiming trauma or neurodivergence or mental illness or whatever and it's like, no, you do still suck, you just also had sucky things happen to you as well.

[lil-oreo-crumbles]

SVTFOE fandom what’s one small, obscure detail about the show you think about an awful lot for no good reason that you firmly believe no one else thinks about half as much as you do, if at all? (When I say obscure I MEAN obscure)

I’ll go first:

Comet Butterfly was probably the one who hired Dr. Jelly Goodwell as the Royal Monster Expert.

The Butterfly family probably didn’t have a “Royal Monster Expert” before Comet. Estrella didn’t care for politics or queenly duties, Celena was busy with whatever she was dealing with and also didn’t pay much mind to the Monster situation, Rhina was preoccupied with her spells, riddles, and marital situations, and Crescenta “solved” (she didn’t) the “Monster problem” with her rigged election campaign. Why would she hire a “Royal Monster Expert”?? She’s actively a horrible person, It doesn’t make sense why she or any other Butterfly would make a position to “field study” Monsters.

What does make sense is Comet designing that position in the early days of her “peace” agenda. Making an “attempt” to understand them enough so she can figure out how to go about conducting her “peace” treaty. Jelly Goodwell is very fond of separating Mewmans and Monsters from each other because “when Mewmans and Monsters cohabitate bad things happen, usually to the Monsters.” If we go off my theory that the Mewman-Monster Accord Moon signed into law reflects (or basically is) Comet’s treaty, then the separation statement makes sense.

Even if the title of “Royal Monster Expert” existed for a while, Comet without a doubt (in my mind) hired Jelly Goodwell. If she’d been “studying” monsters her whole life like she claims, then it makes perfect sense that she was hired back when she was young. Comet would be around her age if she was alive so it only makes sense that Comet was the one who hired her and designated the position. And, again, bringing back her treaty, if Comet and Goodwell worked together in any way, then both of their agendas being separation makes complete sense. Comet hired someone to “field study” Monsters, Goodwell reported back with her findings, and Comet conducted her treaty and dealings with monsters accordingly.

Comet has always just given me the same vibes Goodwell does; they’re like glass reflections of one another. On the surface they look like they actively want to help actually make progress for the impoverished and colonized monster citizens, smiling and playing nice, but patronize them as literal animals (see Comet’s FAMOUS “beast of the forest” line and her patronizing of Seth and Batwin’s wife… or just read her chapter holy shit), refuse to take any of them seriously as equals, and think separating them from Mewmans is the best call.

(To clarify because I feel this being brought up: NO, I’m not saying Goodwell influenced Comet and am now taking blame away from Comet. No, if anything Goodwell’s “angle of research” was probably thrust upon her by Comet (think a “Dr. Goodwell, why don’t you study their mannerisms and habitat so we can communicate with them on their level” line from Comet), and Goodwell reported back with the agenda she was sent out with. If anything, those “findings” only reaffirmed and strengthened Comet’s established bias. I’m not one of those people who take away accountability from the queens because I think they were “influenced” Comet is pretty stupid already 😭)

[captainsophiestark]

Not All Bad

Rebekah Mikaelson x Reader

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Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Summary: Everything is falling apart just a few weeks after you've become a vampire. Thankfully, someone unexpected is there to help when you need it most.

Word Count: 2,347

Category: Angst, little bit of Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I stumbled into the bathroom, barely keeping a hold of myself long enough to let the door close behind me. I felt like I'd been stabbed in the chest, a knife twisting into my heart as tears streamed down my cheeks. I grabbed the edge of the nearest sink to steady myself, and was reminded instantly of everything that had driven me in here in the first place.

The sink cracked under my grip. Goddamned superstrength. Goddamned heightened emotions. I sobbed harder as my gaze caught the crushed corsage on my chest, and the whole world spun out from underneath me as I sank to the floor. Stupid fucking vampires. Stupid fucking vampires.

The bathroom door flew open, jarring me out of my oncoming spiral. I whipped around, then scowled when I found none other than Rebekah Mikaelson standing in the doorway. She and her family had caused most of the worst problems I'd been dragged into dealing with lately, including the one that had turned me into what I was now.

A monster.

"What's the matter with you?" Rebekah asked, a frown on her face and absolutely no sympathy in her voice. Normally, I think I would've told her to get lost, or else ignored her altogether. But right now, my emotions had already hit their tipping point. I needed to explode. I'd been hoping to do so privately, but thanks to Rebekah, that officially wasn't going to happen.

"What's the matter with me?" I demanded, the words ripping free of my throat almost painfully. "It's my last ever prom, and I was trying to take the opportunity to tell my boyfriend of the last four years and the love of my life about vampires. About me. And instead, I almost fucking killed him!"

Rebekah frowned, taking a step forward and letting the bathroom door close behind her, but I wasn't done yet.

"And, of course, I tried to explain. I tried to apologize, to get my shit together and have the conversation I'd been planning to have, but it didn't matter. He called me a monster, told me he couldn't love me like this. And who the fuck am I to argue with it? My heart's shattering, I can't ever escape this feeling, and when I was trying to hold onto something to ground me, I ended up completely crushing the beautiful paper corsage my little sister made for me because I can't control myself."

I choked back a sob as everything washed over me again and again and again. I whirled away from Rebekah, but that ended up putting me facing the mirror, which just put the broken sink and crushed corsage back to the front of my mind. I doubled over, holding the sink and not caring this time if I broke it further, sobbing harder. I could hear Rebekah taking a few steps closer to me across the floor, but I ignored her, the words and emotions continuing to pour out of me whether or not I wanted them to.

"I never wanted to be like this. To become this. And now I've lost one of the most important people in the world to me, although it's not like I wasn't going to lose him eventually. Someday I'm going to be sitting at my sister's deathbed, still a goddamned teenager when my baby sister goes. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get my brain to stop thinking about that. To stop thinking about anything, ever! There's no peace, no rest! Just the constant noise, from my own thoughts and emotions and from everything in the world that's suddenly a thousand times louder. I can't think over the sound of the music outside, and the people talking, and the fucking owl hooting in the woods! I can hear all of it, and I can't stop thinking, and I keep breaking things, and I just... I don't know what the hell to do! About any of it!"

With that, I sank to the floor, turning as I went to put my back to the sink. I burried my head in my arms, pulled my legs up to my chest, and sobbed. I didn't care if Rebekah saw me like this; I couldn't. I couldn't get a breath of air in, there was no space left for embarassment.

I heard Rebekah's heels clicking over the bathroom tile, louder than all that background noise that refused to leave me alone. I felt her crouch down in front of me without looking up, and I braced myself for whatever she was about to say. Something terrible, almost for sure. Good. Maybe fighting somebody would help me with the storm of razor blades swirling in my chest right now.

No sooner than I'd had the thought did I feel Rebekah reach out and put her hand on my shoulder. I glanced up at her, the surprise of the action enough to jar me out of my thoughts for just a second. She looked sympathetic, which I didn't actually think she was capable of.

"You need to take a deep breath, love," she said, her voice perfectly calm and even. I scowled, ready to start the fight myself if she didn't seem to want to, but she continued before I could get a word in. "I remember how this feels, alright? It's been a while, but... it's not something you forget."

I frowned. She seemed completely sincere, and her heart beat steadily in her chest, although I doubted an Original would be careless enough to let that give away one of their lies. Rebekah sighed, apparently noticing my suspicion, but still, she reached up to brush a tear away from my cheek. I shivered at the touch.

"First of all... you learn to block out the noise, eventually. It helps to focus on one at a time, or just one that you're willing to let in. Focus on it completely and intensely, until it takes up your entire attention. It helps the other things go away, and after a lot of practice, it just becomes second nature to tune out the sounds you don't want. Try it. Focus on the sound of my breathing."

My brain protested, but almost on reflex, I did as she said. Her breathing was quiet, which made it harder to hear over the noise of everything else. Still, Rebekah did her best to help me, taking deep, steady breaths without any effort to be quiet. Slowly, I managed to hear it more clearly, and like she'd said, the other things fell away. I naturally found myself breathing in time with her, too, which might have been part of her goal. For the first time in days, I felt a moment of rest and peace.

"Well done," Rebekah said softly. Her hand had returned to my shoulder, and I focused on the feel of it, along with the sound of her breathing. "After a while, you learn to control your strength too."

"Doesn't change what I destroyed before I learned how to control it," I bit out. Rebekah just gave me a lopsided smile, like she'd been expecting the protest.

"But think about everything you can do with it once you do learn to control it. Or even before! Do you know the number of times I've broken a man's hand when I found him forcing himself on a woman in a bar? It's been one of my favorite hobbies in my immortal life."

I couldn't hold back the slightest smile and laugh at that. While the crushed corsage from my sister still broke my heart, becoming some kind of avenging protector like Rebekah had suggested certainly had an appeal.

"And if you choose not to turn off your emotions, you'll get used to those too," she continued after a moment. I shook my head.

"I won't turn them off. I swore I wouldn't. I've seen too many of my friends cross lines they never would've dreamed of before making that choice."

Rebekah gave me a small smile. "Well then, good for you. I think you'll feel you made the right decision, especially when the good things come. It's true, the heartbreak feels like it may well and truly kill you. But you also feel positive heightened emotions. I promise you, some day, you'll feel love and joy stronger than any human could even dream of."

That got me sobbing again, although it was more from being overwhelmed than anything else. Rebekah scooted closer to me, wrapping one arm around my shoulders. I buried my head in her chest, refusing to let the doubt creep in about why she was doing this. Whatever her motives, it was helping, and it was exactly the lifeline I needed right now.

I leaned back once I'd gotten a slightly better hold on myself, and Rebekah gave me a soft smile.

"I have a bit more of a speech I'd like to give, if you don't mind the risk of it making you cry again."

I huffed another laugh that was still half-sob.

"Go for it."

Rebekah brought her hand up and wiped away a few more tears as she continued.

"I take it you've already decided you wouldn't turn your sister for anything? Not even for eternity together?"

I let out a sound of disgust. "No way. I'd never, never put her through this. Especially not for such a selfish reason as not wanting to lose her."

"Well, you're far better than quite a few vampires I know, then," she said, giving me another little smile. "But think about this: you may be at your sister's death bed one day, but you'll also get to watch over her family. You'll see her kids grow up, and you'll be able to take care of them, support them, and protect them over and over again, for generations. Every loss will hurt, but as long as she remains human, you'll never run out of family members to love and support. I truly wish I could say the same.

"Look, I won't lie to you," she continued. "I'd give everything up to be human tomorrow, if it were possible. I miss... just about everything that comes with that life. But the life of a vampire's not all bad, either."

I took a long, deep breath, surprised to find I actually believe what Rebekah was saying to me. I met her eyes, and for the first time, I didn't see a danger or an enemy. I saw somebody kind, despite how long she'd lived, and despite how hard she tried to hide it.

"...Thank you," I said. "Seriously. I... I needed to hear that."

"It's not a problem, love," she said, her hand still resting on my shoulder. "I've... been where you are. I wish I'd had somebody to help me through it all. I'm glad I could pay it forward, even to someone who seems unable to hold back from helping the Salvatores and their little band of righteous idiots."

I snorted. "And I'm glad I didn't just pick a fight with you to try to feel better. This was much more effective."

Rebekah huffed a laugh, and the sound was like music. She stared at me for a few moments, a faint smile on her face, then she spoke again.

"One last thing?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

"As for that idiot who dumped you... there are much better options than him out there, especially if he gave up on you so easily. I've barely spent any time with you, and I can still see that you're worth waiting out a few bumps in the road. If he couldn't see that, he's a fool."

My heart raced in my chest at her words, excitement and nerves completely overriding my earlier devastation. Then Rebekah slowly leaned in towards me, and I swear, I almost had a heart attack.

She gave me more than enough time to pull back as her eyes glanced to my lips, but I didn't. Instead, I leaned forward, meeting her just as her hand came up to cup my cheek. The second our lips met, fireworks exploded in my chest. I'd never, ever, felt anything like this before. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced.

Time seemed to stop as Rebekah kissed me, and even though I felt fairly certain it was only a few moments, it felt like much longer before she pulled gently away. She gave me a little smile that made me absolutely confident she knew what I'd just felt; she knew this was my first kiss as a vampire, and that she'd just perfectly managed to illustrate her point about the positives of heightened feelings.

Rebekah stood, leaving me absolutely breathless on the floor. She turned back when she reached the door, pausing just for a moment.

"Feel free to come find me if you need to talk again. Or if you want to spend your time with someone a little more interesting than your little Mystic Falls gang and that idiot you called a boyfriend."

She shot me a wink, then disappeared out the door. It took my heart a lot longer than I'd like to admit to calm down. I focused on taking deep breaths, like Rebekah had recommended, and slowly, the emotions returned to a manageable level. Once they did, I was a little surprised to find that an absolute head-over-heels crush on Rebekah was the overwhelming and strongest remaining feeling.

I still had a lot of problems to deal with, and a lot of things to process. Doubtless, acting on literally anything I felt for an Original Vampire would cause at least fifteen new problems. And yet, I didn't care. My entire life had exploded tonight, and she'd somehow managed to comfort me with a single conversation. That was something nobody in my life had managed so far, and that no one in the Mystic Falls gang had even really tried. After everything I'd dealt with tonight and in the few weeks since I'd turned, I wasn't about to let someone like that just walk out of my life without a fight, especially not for drama that was barely mine.

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