#because pointing and laughing emojis are SO fucking funny together

[foreveranonymousfa]

Dagoth Ur welcomes you Nereva- IS THAT THE FALSE COPY OF SUNDER???

[ginkgo-phyta]

I'm back again 😅

Hopefully, I'm not the only person with this opinion, but how do you think Spencer would react if his significant other told him that they thought he looked hot with his bulletproof vest on? 👀

omg is this injured spencer request anon?? I NEED TO KNOW im so sorry if it's not tho, whoever you are thank you so much for coming back!! i love you with all my heart you should use a special emoji as like ur own lil signature! :D

okay so i wanted to try blurb(?) format but mmm okay not really cuz just a wall of text was stressing me out but this is def more informal than my other work (look no capital letters!) and because i love you so much i present two scenarios for you :P... i cant fight this feeling anymore guys he rlly is so hot in his vest im becoming my most feral self grrrrr RAH RAH ALRIGHT hope you enjoy, my love!

OKAY SO SPENCER REACTING TO YOU TELING HIM HE'S HOT IN HIS FBI VEST gn! reader, fluff, second scenario a little steamy in tone but nothing explicit just h*rny vibes, no other warnings

if you weren't a profiler: you'd never thought about it before- spencer in his bulletproof vest. sure, you knew that his job required him to go into sticky situations where the prospect of gunfire was imminent and he would have to wear proper equipment, but you never put two nd two together. you never even thought of a kevlar vest as something that could be hot...until you saw a picture of him wearing it.

"what the hell is that." you blurt out, voice serious with hints of concern.

"huh?" spencer's as clueless as ever, a little worried about your reaction. he was just showing you random photos his team members had taken over the years, all printed out for easy viewing courtesy of the ever-so-accommodating penolope garcia. someone had taken a pic of a beautiful lake where the bau had saved yet another victim, the sun dipping below the horizon line of pine trees, painting the sky purple and pink. "um...the sunset?" spencer was confused, "i guess maybe it was kinda a weird time to take a photo, but no one was hurt and we caught the unsub and the sky really did look-"

you cut off his rambling with a wave of your hand, eyes never leaving the photo in front of you, "no, no...what's that." you point to what you were talking about, a figure standing off to the side.

spencer takes a minute, becoming even more bewildered "...me?" in that moment your world changed.

"oh my god... "you whispered in a daze, firmly pulling the picture out of spencer's fingers and into your own, "what...what are you wearing?"

"honey what's wrong? it's just my bulletproof vest. i know it might look a little funny, but it, y'know, keeps me alive..." he scratches the back of his neck. a couple seconds of silence pass, but to spencer it feels excruciatingly long.

"spencer," you look at up at him deadpan "you look so fucking hot." to say your boyfriend was shocked would be an understatement.

he was absolutely blown away by your response, so much so that the way his face contorted looked borderline disgusted. "wha-what?? huh? what?" he clamored, eyes flitting over your face to find any sign you were joking.

"seriously, baby, you look so good. oh, my God!!" you almost shriek, gripping the picture tighter, the widest, dumbest grin pulling up your cheeks as you giggle like a schoolgirl.

spencer smiles at your reaction, still a little perplexed "you really think so?" the notion begins to sink into his bones, making him giddy.

you very enthusiastically nod your head, "are there any more pictures of you like this?" you rip the rest of the photos out of spencer's hands, scouring through them at light speed. out of nowhere, spencer laughs out loud, his nose scrunching in delight.

"i...don't know what to say. i'm flattered you think that," a wonderful blush shimmers over his cheeks, "but no i don't think there are. sadly." he playfully adds.

you stop all movements, slowly turning towards him, suspiciously calm. "well then," you grab your phone and suddenly stand up "looks like i'll just have to ask penelope for some!"

"wait! wait, no!" spencer calls after you as you start speed-walking away, your shirt barely escaping his fingertips. he yells out your name, his serious tone interrupted by a giggle of his own as he begins chasing you, "get back here!" he knows: garcia can never ever find out about this...

if you were a profiler: you had seen spencer don his FBI branded bulletproof vest hundreds of times over the years. although you had pined over him for years and were now finally in a relationship with him, seeing him like that didn't make you feel any type of way really. sure, you thought he looked strong and handsome, but most of the time you were too caught up in the case or situation at hand to focus on how he looked. until now. something had shifted in him in the last few months, not just with his ever-changing haircut, but within the way he held himself; more confident, more sure of himself, even more cocky, if you will. whatever it was, it drew your eyes to him in his tight little vest like a lightbulb draws in moths- instantly and continuously. it all came to a head when you caught the unsub responsible for drowning and resuscitating his victims until they couldn't be brought back to life. spencer dove into the lake with emily to apprehend the killer while you had helped the kid he had hostage reunite with his mother. you smiled at the scene in front of you, the teenager running into his mother's shaking arms, her holding him close in a tight embrace. another good ending, you thought to yourself before turning back to watch your fellow profilers make the arrest. suddenly, you mouth goes dry. there spencer reid stood; soaking wet, clothes sticking to his skin, chest rising and falling as he panted to catch his breath, his hand pushing his wet hair out of his face. and that stupid, goddamn kevlar vest. oh, fuck. the others walked away from the dock to situate everyone and themselves in respected vehicles that sat back on the road a few hundred feet away from where you currently were. as spencer moved to follow behind emily, hands trying to flick the water off of him, your gaze stopped him in his tracks. he stood there, a bit confused as to why you were walking towards him, seemingly entranced, instead of beelining behind everyone else.

he spoke out your name, but you remained silent, stopping just a couple feet away from him. you took him in one more time: the way his shirt became translucent, granting you with peeks of his skin; his sleeves rolled up, showing off his delicious forearms; the way his soaked pants choked his thick thighs. you became woozy with desire. spencer watched as your eyes dragged over his figure, drinking in every inch of his dripping body. "oh, baby..." you voice drawled out as soon as your gaze landed on his bulletproof vest, "you're absolutely soaking wet." spencer's eyebrows shot up his forehead at the suggestive twinkle in your timbre. you approached him further, chest just inches away from his. if he wasn't so intrigued by your reaction, he would have been a bit more cautious of lingering teammates. your hands came up to ghost over his vest, "did i ever tell you how good i think you look in this?" you looked up at him through your lashes.

spencer chuckled, "in the bulletproof vest?" you nodded in response, but spencer still couldn't really believe it. "uh, no, actually, you haven't." his eyes glinted at the way you bit your lip, his hands moving on their own accord to rest on your hips. you could feel droplets of water seep into the material and lick your skin, but you didn't give a rat's ass.

"well, you do." you whisper, hands wrapping around the back of his neck as you pull yourself up to press a kiss to his lips, "really, really good." your mouth moves enticingly with his.

"oh? is that so?" he whispers against your lips, diving back in, his fingers digging in your hips. he graciously kisses you for a moment before it dawns on him that you're both still at work- in an active crime scene, at that. "mmh, mmh!" he vocalizes between kisses as he tries to move his head back a smidge. his eyes peak open just enough to see if anyone else was around. your lips are addicting, rendering him unable to fully tell you to stop, unable to fully pull away himself. he's relieved when he spots no one. still, he know this is far from appropriate. spencer's hands move up your body to wrap around your wrists behind him, pulling them away from him and the same time he pulled away from you, "okay, okay!" he breathes out with a chuckle, "i believe you now" he tries to catch his bearings, but your pouting face causes him to laugh again

"spencerrrr," you groan at the loss of your beloved's kisses and he turns you around and pushes you towards the spot where the others vanished, walking behind you with his hands on your shoulders, your body held at an arm's distance.

"let's go, angel." his words brought out a hmph! from you. "we can do more of that later at home" he whispers, leaning in ever-so-slightly.

you turn your head back to get a glimpse of him, your eyes and smile equally wide with excitement, "can you bring the vest with you?!"

A/N: OKAYYYY lemme stop myself before things get filthy LOL do yall know which episode im referring to in the second scenario? that end scene will always get me my eye are GLUED to spencer the entire time GODDAMN. okay anyway i hope you liked this anon!!! pls tell me yalls thoughts <3

[frankenjoly]

"If I told you I liked you, would you finally get it?" + nikonathan

"If I asked you out, hypothetically, would you say yes?" + souheki

"You make it really hard for me to be subtle, you know." + tachigin

tasty *insert eyes emoji* soo have nikonathan with very oblivous nathaniel, fake dating... or not souheki and suggestive tachigin :3

nikonathan + “if i told you i liked you, would you finally get it?”

“If I told you I liked you, would you finally get it?”

There wasn’t a more direct way than that one, and yet, Nathaniel still managed to stare at him in evident confusion. As if Nikolai had just asked him to eat one of his shoes, tried to convince him eggs weren’t real or… whatever other ridiculous idea; it wasn’t funny to try and come up with other examples in a situation like that.

“Are you kidding me, Gogol?” Nathaniel then said, and laughing right then may be counterproductive, but fuck– it was either laughing or groaning. “Nevermind, of course you are.”

And: jackpot! Damn, that man was a totally open book more times than not.

“Oh, c’mon! If I wanted to pull a prank on you, I’d be way more creative than that! A fake confession is sooooo basic.” Nikolai answered, rolling his eyes. “It’s not even a ‘cheap comedian’ thing, it’s a ‘high-school jerk thinking they’re so funny’ thing. And lemme tell you, since you haven’t figured it out despite having tons of evidence pointing towards the opposite: I have wayyyy more style than that.”

“So… you were really trying to flirt with me?” Obvious surprise, as well as confusion, were written all over Hawthorne’s face.

“I mean, been for a while now, but thanks for noticing.”

souheki + “if i asked you out, hypothetically, would you say yes?”

“If I asked you out, hypothetically, would you say yes?” Naomi asked, and holding back laughter as Atsushi’s eyes went wide in shock was extremely difficult, but she somehow managed.

“What? I mean, you’re great, Naomi-san but…” He was about to start sweating, even, so she decided to spare him. Besides, Atsushi was a terrible liar, anyway.

“Relax! I just need a fake partner for the undercover stunt in this case and–”

“Didn’t Kunikida-kun say you couldn’t do it?” Ranpo then intervened. Well, damn. So that was where her chance to get involved in more detective-like work ended, apparently.

“Why can’t I have some fun every now and then?” She even pouted; it may not get her anywhere, but at least there would be an attempt.

“Oh, but you will.” Dazai also joined the conversation, clasping his hands together and offering her a big-ass smile. “We’ve been talking with Kunikida-kun, and managed to convince him. You’re welcome, by the way.” Without moving from his seat, likely because of a not so good leg pain day, he pulled off something similar to a theatrical bow. “We just gotta make some changes in the script, y’see? Ranpo-san and I are gonna be the lovey-dovey couple, and you, my darling lil’ sister.”

Naomi grinned from ear to ear.

“I can totally work with that. Now you better practice, if you don’t play your part well I’m gonna be very disappointed.” It was, obviously, a joke. And both Ranpo and Dazai knew it, there was no doubt… yet they stared at her with a look that clearly read as ‘challenge accepted’ or something akin to it.

“Oh, but we already know how to do that! Right, pookie?” Dazai said, holding onto Ranpo’s arm, who leaned in and pressed a brief kiss over Dazai’s cheek with utmost movie-like charm.

“Of course we do, babygirl.”

There had never been a doubt about how they would be amazingly good at that, but there was also the possibility they weren’t acting at all. And honestly? Naomi was down to see everything unfold either way.

tachigin + “you make it really hard for me to be subtle, you know.”

“You make it really hard for me to be subtle, you know.”

Gin’s first response to Tachihara saying that was merely tilting their head, not as much in confusion than as a way to nudge him into keeping on talking; she already had a hunch about where his boyfriend wanted to go with that.

“C’mon, Gin. After all the hints I’ve been givin’ through the whole thing I think it’s pretty clear, isn’t it?” He offered them a toothy grin, evidencing how he had caught on to her intentions and was indulging in the wordless suggestion to play a little before anything else. “Should I kneel and beg, then? ‘Cause I’ll do it gladly.” Not only was there no doubt he would, but Tachihara also proceeded to get down on his knees right after saying so, grasping the hem of Gin’s knee-length dress and looking up to meet their gaze with the most obvious intent in his eyes. “Please?”

Strictly speaking, there was no need for Tachihara to do that, but damn if Gin wasn’t enjoying it. In fact, the only reason they took a moment before replying was so she could check with a quick glance if the door of the room they had sneaked into had been properly closed; ditching the party to have privacy wasn’t uncommon, but someone else may have to try and claim that same spot if not.

Then, once making sure there wouldn’t be any chance for interruptions, she nodded, unclasping one of Tachihara’s hands to entwine it with theirs.

“By all means, go on.”

“My pleasure.” Instead of getting up, though, Tachihara lifted the hand still grabbing the cloth a little. And after the dress’ skirt was out of the way, he started peppering Gin’s thighs with kisses.

(Also on ao3.)

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 2 - It’s not a date! … or is it?!

Summary: Aizawa-sensei makes it really hard to not think about this outing as a date; he looks gorgeous, the conversation flows so easily and you both spill all your secrets to each other like it’s the most normal thing between two almost-strangers. You really start to wonder if this is all just you being way too invested in this fake date or there is really something in the air.

Warnings: Swear words, mentions of Eri’s past, mentions of child-neglect. 16+

First chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“What am I supposed to wear?!” You yell into your phone.

It’s 8AM. You are meeting up with your niece’s teacher in two hours and all you’ve managed to do since you wake up was to put on a bra, an underwear and freak the shit out in the middle of doing so, ending up sprinting between your dresser and your full body mirror, almost naked.

You are a fucking adult who’s about to turn 30. By the way. An adult who has a child to take care of… you can only hope no one hears your inner thoughts and calls child protection on you, thinking you are incapable of raising a teenager. Honestly, you have no idea how you had made it to this point in your life. You are a fucking mess.

“You called me in the middle of my class stating ‘it’s an emergency… for this?!” Megumi laughs, clearly not believing your shenanigans.

“Shut up brat, this is all your fault! You forced me to do this so suffer with me!”

“He likes the color black. I hope that helps.” She murmurs, happily.

“You want me to meet your teacher while looking like I’m about to go to someone’s funeral?!”

“Have you seen the guy you are about to meet?” Megumi retorts and fuck, she is right.

“Funeral wear it is, then.” You can hear Megumi’s distant giggle as you end the phone call and decide to wear the black dress Megumi bought for you; it suits her more than it suits you but to be absolutely honest you’ve always been envious of your niece’s badass style because you’ve just never had the balls to leave your house in a rebellious attire. Well, ladies and gents and everyone in between, today is the day when you wear the Dr. Martens boots you’ve never used and make an absolute fool of yourself in front of your child’s teacher. Honestly, why not. It isn’t an actual date anyway, if it all goes wrong at least you have a great story to tell.

You take a quick selfie and send it to Megumi who sends you a bunch of emojis you can’t understand, but overall, it looks like an approval so you finish the set with a bit of eyeliner and mascara, just as heavy as your attire.

You really hope Aizawa sensei wants to have his coffee at My Chemical Romance concert, otherwise this will be really awkward.

Oh well, you are out of time to change your mind about your attire now.

You take a deep breath as you head towards UA, hoping that 3 tough plasters and a special sock will be enough to keep your feet safe from the evil boots on your feet.

~•🩶•~

You’re 15 minutes early. The area around UA is silent; it’s too early for the media presence and the students are all in class together with their teachers. You are just about to sit down on a nearby bench and make yourself comfortable for the next fifteen minutes when someone clears his throat behind you; Aizawa-sensei looks at you questioningly, with a hint of a smile quirking up his lips.

“Did Megumi-Chan force you to wear this today?” He asks, amused.

He looks absolutely stunning; his usually unruly hair is pulled into a pony tail, his bangs loose at the front which makes him look so much softer; he wears black jeans with a plain black shirt and a trench coat, his signature scarf and his usual eyepatch.

“Half Megumi and half midlife crisis.” You deadpan, already hating all your life decisions. And also, this joke. It really wasn’t that funny.

Apparently, Aizawa sensei has a fucked up sense of humor because he snorts and makes his way towards the other side of road.

“Let’s talk about your midlife crisis over a cup of coffee. I hope you don’t mind if I give you a ride.” He tries his best to smile but it looks so forced you can’t help but laugh. “What?”

“You really need to love your class to do this for a student. I’m glad my girl has such a great homeroom teacher.” You smile fondly at the grumpy man.

“I’m just doing my job.” He mumbles with a straight face and opens the door for you; he tries to fake nonchalance but you can’t miss the hint of dusty pink appearing on his cheeks. This man loves a good praise. Good to know.

The car ride is awkward and silent, none of you really know what to say. If this would be an actual date you would probably start freaking out but you know he’s only doing this for the sake of your niece, so you decide to leave it as it is. He stops at a medium sized coffee place; their logo is really cute, it’s full of tiny drawings of kittens, tiny paws splattered all over the background and the inside looks warm and cosy, cats wondering between the legs of the customers, begging for food.

Wait.

Cats?!

“Aizawa-sensei… is this a fucking cat coffee?!” You laugh out loud before entering place.

“Language.” He sighs. “It was my son’s idea. I have no idea how to do this dating thing.”

You are not sure which part do you wanna question first; the one about his son or the fact that he called this an actual date. You decide to start with the former.

“You have a son?!”

“… Let’s sit down first. I should have asked if you are allergic to cats shouldn’t I?” The man radiates an anxious energy which surprises you; if this is just a fake date why is he so worried?

“I love cats.” You smile as you sit down on the corner sofa; thankfully, the place is almost empty so you will be able to have a personal conversation without being disturbed or have the need to yell over a group of random people. Date or not, you do want to know more about Megumi’s teacher and you genuinely like him, so no one can judge you for trying, right?

The two of you sit down next to each other and order right away; Aizawa-sensei gets a cold brew without any milk or sugar while you order their signature coffee latte which apparently comes with a handmade latte art. Aizawa must have a second secret quirk as all the cats gang up on him right away; there are two fluffy Maine coons staring at him from the floor, waiting to be pet. Aizawa wears a tiny smile as he takes one of them in his hands and puts the ball of fur down on his lap to slowly stroke their fur to calm himself. The cat looks really happy in his new place, purring contently with every caress.

“So you have a son.” You go back to your last topic without hesitation.

“You are just as nosy as your niece.” He sighs again. “I have a son and a daughter. Their name is Hitoshi and Eri. They aren’t mine biologically, I adopted them two years ago. Hitoshi was a student of mine who’s been neglected by his parents and ended up in an orphanage. Eri… Eri went through hell. My students found her during a mission. She’s only eight.” There is so much pain on his face you physically need to grab your own hand to stop yourself from reaching out.

“She’s so young…”

“That little girl went through things no one ever should. But she’s safe now. She’s struggling with a lot of trauma, but Hitoshi and I do our best to put her at ease.”

“You are amazing, you know that, right?” You smile sadly, your eyes shining with unshed tears. “You really are a hero. Taking two kids in as a single parent just to grant them the happiness they couldn’t ever have…”

“So are you.” Aizawa jumps in. “You’ve done the same for Megumi haven’t you?” He smiles; it’s barely there but it makes your heart rate quicken; he might be a broken man but there is just something about him; you thought it’s his mysteriousness that makes you so invested in him but looking at him right now after hearing his story makes you wonder if this is what people call “fate”; your heart makes another somersault at the thought. This isn’t a date - you remind yourself. “Want to tell me about it, Y/N?”

You end up telling him everything; from your shitty childhood to how you ended up taking care of Megumi and he thanks you by telling you his own story; you laugh, you cry and the conversation just flows naturally; the coffee gets cold by the time you manage to even realize it’s been delivered but you both drink it anyway and order a new one to prolong the date as much as possible. You really don’t want today to end.

Aizawa somehow manages to lure all the cats to his side of the sofa, all waiting patiently for their turn to be petted. You look at the hero with a fake pout, trying to look offended but probably failing miserably because you can’t hide the tiny smile as you look at Aizawa’s face; he looks proud and happy to be surrounded by all these fluffy animals, his face is so smooth and content you can only wonder if there was ever a person who could manage to soften him the same way these fluffy cats do; the answer is probably no. You really want to change that. Fuck’s sake you are way too invested in this date.

“I can’t believe you hog all the cats for yourself by the way, I’m offended.” You giggle while you look at the purring cats with pure jealousy; you try your best win them over by making sounds and letting them smell your hand in an offer of friendship but they don’t even bother to look your way.

“I don’t mind sharing.” Aizawa murmurs, scooting closer to the corner of the sofa while urging you to do the same; you meet in the middle, your knee touching his as he moves one of his fluffy companions to your lap but you can barely concentrate on the warm little body when you realize how cold and rigid Aizawa’s leg feels like around his shin ; that’s when you realize you are touching a piece of metal instead of a human leg. You try your best not to think about too much but it makes you remember the way he lost it; the story was all over the news and you remember crying, surrounded by other civilians within the safety of four massive walls and an unbreakable defense system, while this teacher crippled himself to save his student’s life. You shake your head once and start stroking the purring little creature who’s splayed over both of your legs now. There is a fluttering feeling in your heart but you are not sure if it’s thanks to the cute cat or the beautiful, highly respected man next to you. Probably both.

“Do you not have any questions about my prosthetic? It’s usually the first thing people ask about.” He mumbles while munching on a cat shaped pastry.

“You chopped your own fucking shin off to save the country.” You deadpan. “It’s common knowledge. And you are clearly more than capable to live without it, so I really don’t care about that and no one should. Are you self-conscious about it?”

“I only chopped the half of it off, don’t exaggerate.” Aizawa ‘jokes’. “I wouldn’t really say I am… but it did cross my mind today.” Aizawa admits. “My friend Hizashi was really excited about me leaving the school grounds and gave me all kind of silly tips and tricks to look nicer and I realized there’s no point in my case; I can’t hide my missing eye and I can only hide my prosthetic legs until things get serious. I’ve never really cared about my looks, but… it really bothered me today. For some reason.”

You can’t believe this man.

“I will say something really inappropriate right now, but I’m doing it for your own good.” You mumble with a red face. “I… kinda find your disheveled, battle-scarred look… attractive. And I also respect the shit out of you for what you’ve done for our country and for the kids… so if you wouldn’t be my kid’s teacher…” You are incapable of making an eye contact right now so you just stare at the 5 cats roaming around Aizawa.

“Please, do not finish that sentence.” Aizawa hides his face in embarrassment. You can’t help but laugh at that.

“Aizawa-sensei, you are really handsome. And kind. And really attractive. Deal with it.”

“Such a smooth talker you are.” He grumbles under his nose. “My name is Shouta by the way.”

The time freezes as he says his name; being on a first name basis is a really meaningful thing in Japan and it’s definitely not something you let others do after one not-a-date.

“Shouta.” You look up at the hero, your cheeks dusted with pinks and reds. He looks confused and surprised, like the words are just coming out of his mouth without his knowledge and he can’t make it stop.

The moment gets ruined when Shouta’s phone starts to ring; he looks at the evil machine with a frown.

“Well, somehow we ended up talking until the afternoon and I need to get Eri from school now.” He sighs. You don’t want this to end. Fuck, you know you are getting way to invested in this and you know he’s not feeling the same about you, but… “Do you want to meet her?” … or he is. Oh god, your heart can barely keep up with the mess of emotions inside you. “I can make us proper lunch after. I’m quite sure Megumi-chan won’t mind you staying out late for one day.” Aizawa doesn’t look into your eyes and it’s so endearing; he makes it sound like it’s not a big deal but you’ve been talking each other’s ears off for hours now yet he doesn’t want you to leave. Your heart stutters and the butterflies are having a blast in your stomach as you shyly nod while biting your lips to ground yourself.

“I would love to.”

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- So. People with prosthetic legs can drive a car but people advice them to get an automatic one for obvious reasons. They can also continue driving with one eye if they have a good enough vision in the other eye to meet the legal standards and are adapted to their new condition. Thank you for listening to all this random information you’ll hopefully never need in your life. 😂

- People can’t pick up cats in cat cafe’s though, so please don’t do that. ���

- I really need to stop overthinking this fanfiction.

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! 🩶🐈

Taglist: (just send a comment if you would like to be added!) @cheesenmax

[gayalanwake]

hey guys so I’m crazy

I KNOW NOBODY GAF i am hyperfixated with literally have no other outlet to unleash my Demons

okay so basically this isn’t like a “normal” playlist (i have one but it’s private as of rn)- it’s basically like. 2 songs per chapter. In order. like the first two songs are about chapter one, the next two songs are about chapter two, etc etc etc. HOWEVERRR I’m not adding songs for chapters that aren’t released, because they can give vague spoilers. HOWEVERRR (again) I went ahead and added the Chapter 10’s songs anyways for fun :3

im not done lol here is an analysis of every song so far bc again im hyperfixated to high hell and this took 15 hours to organize. HEART EMOJI

(Chapter One)

Welcome to Paradise:

WTP is obviously an ironic song.

Pay attention to the cracked streets

And the broken homes

Some call it slums, some call it nice

I want to take you through

A wasteland I like to call my home

Welcome to paradise

This doesn’t need explaining as to why it’s relevant to B&BH lmao. But if you view these lyrics through their perspectives, the song loses its ironic tone. This wasteland of theirs probably GENUINELY IS paradise for them. It’s kinda comedic.

However, in this song, the narrator is speaking to his mother, asking if she can hear him “whining” as well as “laughing.” And viewing that through B&BH’s perspectives adds the slightest bit of tension- a tension that is very relevant and that will be harder to hide as the story progresses.

Another thing- this song being the first on this playlist is also part of the irony, with “paradise” referencing the plot that’s about to unfold, which takes place nowhere near any kind of paradise.

Come Out and Play:

This song is supposed to initially come off as a nothing more than a reference to B&BH being deranged teenagers. And for the most part, it is. It’s placed in Chapter 1 for a reason: Nothing’s happened yet, this is just B&BH as we know them. AKA, deranged teenagers.

However! Some of the lyrics do hint at what’s to come.

It goes down the same as the thousand before

No one's getting smarter, no one's learning the score

Your never-ending spree of death and violence and hate

Is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your own...

Hey, man, you disrespecting me?

Take him out (you gotta keep 'em separated)

Hey, man, you talkin' back to me?!

Take him out (you gotta keep 'em separated)

Over and over and over again are B&BH going to fight each other because of- unbeknownst to them- their suppressed romantic feelings. and it’s frustrating to watch because their self-destruction is so clear and yet they remain blinded by and to their own dysfunction. This is symbolized in the song, where the narrator has called out the teenagers’ destructive behavior more than once but is continuously interrupted mid-sentence by the cycle of needless violence that never seems to end (is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your ownHEY!!!! MAN YOU TALKING BACK TO ME???). Nothing is getting through. Nobody’s learning.

But you probably shouldn’t separate them.

(Chapter Two)

Fat Lip:

Okay this one is not that deep LMAOOO. Unlike Come Out and Play, this one is purely about them being deranged teenagers, bc this chapter focuses more heavily on their antics.

All The Small Things:

This chapter plays out like any normal day for these characters, and because of that, it may seem like pointless. But what it’s meant to do is serve as a reference point (all of the first three chapters are, actually). What that means is that the more the plot and B&BH will spiral, these first 3 chapters are a reminder of what once was, and they go from funny to bittersweet.

ATST is about how while this chapter is more so slice of life, the “small things” are nevertheless really important to these two. AKA, this is their ten-thousandth uneventful day together, but they’re together, and that’s what they care about. I am making no sense . Fuck it we ball

(Chapter Three)

My Hero:

Reminder that Chapter 3 is the chapter when Beavis falls down the stairs and Butt-Head starts tweaking. This song is meant to be taken through Beavis’ perspective.

There goes my hero

Watch him as he goes

There goes my hero

He's ordinary

This song in the context of the fic appears to be nothing more than a sarcastic jab. Like wow Butt-Head what a great fucking hero you are. However, we know that as much as Beavis talks shit to Butt-Head, there is a very strong love within him. He will never admit it, but this guy IS his hero. This song is genuine, and Beavis doesn’t know it. We have genuine love that is being sarcastically sung. Have you guys caught on that im bad at explaining things. This is a lot better in my head

Where Are You Going:

Meanwhile! This song is through Butt-Head’s perspective!

I am no Superman

I have no reasons for you

I am no hero

Oh, that's for sure

But I do know one thing

Is where you are is where I belong

I do know where you go

That's where I want to be

see why i bolded those lines LMAO

He’s Beavis’s hero… but Butt-Head is no hero. He loves Beavis, but he is also an unhealed, traumatized victim of Joanna. He is terrifyingly emotionally stunted, violence is always his answer, and much, much more. I mean goddamn he was this close to KILLING Beavis in this chapter- not that it’s the first time either of them have tried to or have indirectly nearly caused each other’s demise and not given one singular fuck (except for the episodes Take A Bow and The Day Butt-Head Went Too Far). And in the song, the lyrics just straight up state this (again, I am no hero).

And like Beavis in the last song, these meaning of these lyrics are also something Butt-Head “doesn’t know.” At least, not consciously. He is no hero. He is cruel, borderline barbaric, oh, that’s for sure. But the love he has for Beavis is literally life-defining. Where you are is where I belong, no matter where that is, even if it’s in hell. This song represents Butt-Head’s constant psychological battle between the love he feels and the person he was abused into becoming. (Note: this symbolism can also be applied to Beavis).

(Chapter Four)

Highway to Hell:

haha look it’s the guy named butthole’s song

I’ll try to keep this one short. This song is referencing their antics at the beginning of the chapter (aka, robbery LMAO). But… also… they are literally on a highway to hell, since at the end of the chapter is the cuddling scene that sets everything off.

I’m So Into You:

not a lot to say here either! I actually already talked about this song before (on a post I cannot find! eye twitching). The lyrics are self-explanatory.

I'm so into you

I don't know what I'm gonna do

Boy, you got me so confused

I don't know what I'm gonna do

The song is also about pining for a man who is already in a relationship, which is fitting, since this is the chapter where Butt-Head meets Hannah.

(Chapter Five)

So Much To Say:

I have also spoken about this song before! And while it’s mentioned in Chapter Seven, it’s referencing the events in Chapter Five, which is why I made it Ch. 5’s song. Okay anyways

I say my hell is the closet, I'm stuck inside

haha get it. gay. okay anyways

Can't see the light

Keep it locked up inside

Don't talk about it

T-T-Talk about the weather

Yeah, yeah, yeah

What were they doing in Chapter Five again??? Ohh yeahhh keeping their feelings abt the prior night locked up inside and talking about the weather instead. It’s simple and straight-forward but fits so perfectly i love it so much lmao

Take On Me:

okay so I will be completely honest here. I stole the idea of using this song for emo reasons from The Last of Us 2 LMAOOOOO

Youtuber TLOU Explained did a beautiful analysis video on the relationship between Ellie and Dina, the game’s main characters. In one scene, Ellie sings an acoustic version of “Take On Me” to Dina, and TLOU Explained describes the song’s meaning as this,

“I also think the lyrics of this song are especially poignant, summarizing Ellie and Dina’s relationship in just one line. Ellie sings, ‘Take me on,’ including all of her grief and baggage, everything that she is now, which Dina has already shown that she’s willing to do and will do for as long as she can. Ellie sings, ‘I’ll be gone in a day or two,’ and tragically, in two days from now, the Ellie that Dina knows and loves will be gone.”

I’m only mentioning this because that video is what made me realize what the writers of The Last of Us 2 were doing- what these lyrics, sung in an upbeat tone, can symbolize in a more tragic way. And I don’t want people to think I came up with the idea of using “Take On Me” in a serious way because i absolutely did not LMAO (Note: I wouldn’t do this if this story was an original project. This is just a fanfiction, so I don’t mind taking inspiration from The Last of Us 2 so directly).

Anyways, this song is meant to represent the end of Chapter Five, when Beavis finally recalls what happened the night before and is wrestling with the weight of it all. Using such a fun song seems ironic, but 1) I am a sucker for upbeat songs playing during dramatic moments (i.e., the song “Our Love” in Episode 2 of Arcane). 2) Like I already explained, the lyrics mean more than they appear.

In the context of the fic, the verse, “Take me on,” is a dare. It’s a dare to both characters. Take on what happened between us. I dare you. I dare you to take on what it means to be in love with someone like me. Take me on.

I'll be gone

In a day or two

(Chapter Six)

Bullet With Butterfly Wings:

While both characters can work with this song, this chapter is about Butt-Head being more awful than usual to Beavis, who is trying his best to get back to normal. So, this song is about Beavis.

The world is a vampire

Sent to drain

And Butt-Head is Beavis’ world.

(I feel like the rest of the lyrics don’t really need explaining lmao)

Smile Like You Mean It:

Not too much to say here! The title of the song alone pretty much sums it up. These two (Beavis, especially) are trying to act like everything is okay, but it’s not. They’re “smiling,” but they’re not meaning it.

(Chapter Seven)

In The End:

Once again, this song was mentioned in Chapter Eight, but it’s about Chapter Seven, so that’s why it’s here.

This one is basically Beavis’ breaking point. He’s tried and tried and tried to get things back to normal, and Butt-Head is being everything but cooperative. The last song, “Smile Like You Mean It” is like his final Hail Mary, he’s demanding himself to “smile” like he means it. But in “In The End,” he’s completely given up on trying to fix things. Well, not really. We know that Beavis would never actually give up on Butt-Head. But emotions are high, he’s pissed, and Butt-Head is continuously making everything worse.

How long will he last

Before he's a creep in the past

And you're alone once again?

Will you pop up again

And be my special friend

'Til the end?

And when will that be?

I figured out what you're all about

And I don't think I like what I see

So I hope I won't be there in the end

If you come around

No More Like That:

This song is through Butt-Head’s perspective, and it’s almost a whiplash. The song is a slow, depressing ballad, which is 1) in stark contrast to the prior song, and 2) doesn’t match Butt-Head at all. But it’s representing how Butt-Head put himself aside at the end of this chapter to try to fix things with Beavis. The song is different, and so is Butt-Head’s behavior.

You know you're breaking my heart

And I'm coming apart

Calling in sick

(Chapter Eight)

Hook:

oooo one of my favorites lmao

Okay, so if you’re unaware of this song, its point is that it’s pointless. These are literally the lyrics:

It doesn't matter what I say

So long as I sing with inflection

That makes you feel I'll convey

Some inner truth or vast reflection

But I've said nothing so far

And I can keep it up for as long as it takes

And it don't matter who you are

If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks

Because the Hook brings you back

I ain't tellin' you no lie

The Hook brings you back

On that you can rely

In the context of this fic, it’s meant to call attention to how this is pretty much the state Beavis and Butt-Head are in right now. Sure, they’re no longer fighting, but have they… actually resolved anything? They didn’t directly confront the issue, and more so swept everything under the rug in an attempt to get things back to how they were. They’ve said nothing so far, but the hook brings them back, the hook being the somewhat familiarity that has returned. It doesn’t matter how shaky or unstable it is, it’s familiar, it’s the hook, and it keeps bringing them back. It doesn’t matter what they say, as long as they sing with inflection. You get it lmao. This is a banger song btw i highly recommend it

Mt. Washington:

This one is about the end of the chapter, where Beavis has a breakdown over his mother.

Face stained in the ceiling

Why does it keep saying?

I don't have to see you right now

I don't have to see you right now

This part is literal. Beavis literally stares at the ceiling the entire night instead of sleeping.

Digging like you can bury

Something that cannot die

We could wash the dirt off our hands now

Keep it from living underground

This is a call to how Beavis has suppressed everything about his mother. What she has done, what she has not done, Shirley herself. Shirley cannot die, yet Beavis keeps digging.

Lazy summer goddess

You can tell our whole empire

I don't have to see you right now

I don't have to see you right now

“Goddess” being Shirley, for she is weirdly like a divine figure to him. She has hurt him over and over again, telling him, “I don’t have to see you right now,” and yet he clings onto her.

The rest of the song repeats the verse, I don’t have to see you right now. The instruments get louder, the singer starts shouting, everything starts getting faster. It’s like a spiral. Beavis is spiraling.

(Chapter Nine)

Here Before:

This one is Van Driessen’s relationship to Beavis and Butt-Head and how he sees their mothers in everything they do, how they have been here before.

Once I had a child

He was wilder than moonlight

He could do it all

Like he'd been here before

This is about Beavis and Shirley. Wilder than moonlight (Interesting… moonlight isn’t that wild). He could do it all. She could do it all.

Then I had a child

Took his while like northern summer

And he knows it all

Like he's been here before

This is about Butt-Head and Joanna. Took his while like northern summer. He knows it all. Joanna knew it all (We see this trait in the way she talks to Van Driessen in the Chapter 8 flashback) (And of course, in reality, Butt-Head and Joanna do not know it all. It’s the exact opposite. But in their minds, it’s very true).

Somethin’ Stupid:

And of course, the love ballad between a man and a woman is about Butt-Head and Hannah. orrrrrrr is it LOL

The time is right, your perfume fills my head

The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

Something interesting here, is why would saying, “I love you,” spoil anything? The narrators are clearly in love. They are on a date, singing fondly of the experience and of one another. But in the context of the fic, as we know, Hannah saying, “I love you,” does. spoil. everything.

And the sentence repeats itself, over and over again. It’s a sweet, genuine echo in Hannah’s head. But for Butt-Head, the echo is a slow, suffocating realization.

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you"

aaaaaaand unless I’ve been executed by the state i will go off about the rest of the songs when the chapters are released. BUH BYEEEEEEEEEE

[longeyelashedtragedy]

Have you already been asked for Deki?

nope! the Orange Guy (as he's been called lol) in my icon! thanks Anon for providing me with what's clearly going to be my most controversial post 🤪 (i don't know if i've ever used this emoji before, what a historic day)

favorite thing about them: it's gotta be his loyalty to the people he loves. sometimes it's even to the point of stupidity, or "you didn't have to do that." but i've never seen anything quite to his level of devotion and committment. all heart ZERO brain on this man. not one brain cell. it's all in the heart.

he's also really hilarious* and like. kinsey 7. nothing will convince me this man is not 100% gay and only married because he's a religious catholic.

(*i don't like most "comedy" because i have an odd sense of humor, and if i want to have a laugh, i'll more often than not put on some liverpool movren content because of how genuinely fucking funny they are together. i always wind up laughing out loud. standup comedians WISH they were movren however he is also funny on his own, albeit sometimes unintentionally...i think)

last--his appearance, duhhh. if i could look like a man i'd want to look like him, this is a known fact. he's got just the right vibe of strong, confident masculinity and the fucking shoulder/back/arm situation is 🔥

least favorite thing about him: ...do you hear me heaving a heavy sigh? lol. i won't go into the graphic details, but the amount of time i've spent being his pro bono defense attorney when it's not deserved! (some things are also not worthy of defending.)

i remember there was a post a while back that said something like "whatever your special interest was at the beginning of the pandemic is always going to have a weird level of significance to you." and at first i was like doesnt apply to me--football was my thing before the pandemic, and it still is. but then i remembered that the pandemic hit just as i was developing an interest in this fool 😂 i guess that explains everything.

favorite line: HOW DO I CHOOSE????? he's so quotable. he also once responded to one of my questions on an insta takeover--he only chose 3 twitter questions and i'm convinced he picked mine because my display name at the time was "Monlyfans" lmao. maybe on one of his lajvs with šime when he was like "who are all these people on instagram pretending to be me????" and šime was like "they're fanpages" or the classic on his southampton twitter takeover, "Peter Crouch is so tall OMG". orrr on his twitter q&a two years ago, when someone asked "your wife or Mo?" and he went "don't make me choose..."

brotp: oh it's gotta be him chilling with Domo, even though tbh. he's so GAY to me that most dudes he talks to make me wanna ship it, lol. i kind of liked him with timo at zenit...oh and when he was gay mentoring dalerka and mostovoy, who seemed to do very well with his teachings (RIP kustovoy)

notp: hmmm. deki x trashy american right wing culture, lmao

otp: it's always that impossible choice of šejan vs movren. they're both so different. something about movren really gets me because i think it has a lot of layers of depth that is not discussed, and i love the contrast especially toward the end of their time together at liverpool, of like global beloved star vs 4th choice center-back on the bench, and how dej had not one ounce of jealousy or resentment toward mo...Idk that's just quite special

random headcanon: i don't think i have one.

unpopular opinion: sigh...i've expressed this before and am Weary...but the lockdown fucked him up hard and he absolutely never recovered mentally. and that just makes me feel bad. you don't have to! but i do and i'm glad that i do. maybe it could have all been different yknow? especially because i've seen similar things happen to people i'm close to in real life.

song i associate with them: well, aside from 'sin pijama' lol...i only really associate songs with him because of my movren fanmix (only time i've ever made a good fanmix for a football ship! and as i've said, it's a very 'i liked the movie Garden State too much when i was a teenager' fanmix lol (guilty as charged)) (lmk if you want me to link it somewhere) some of them are more "mo," some are "dejan," and some are a mix. i'd say the dejan ones are:

-moment's silence (common tongue) by hozier: singing boldly about oral sex and the catholic church? that tracks.

-the only living boy in new york by simon & garfunkel: uh the gayest and most loving song alive? but also the story behind it makes me think of what i said about movren earlier--the "flop" being just so happy for the star. (not saying paul simon is more of a "flop" than art garfunkel LOL but the idea of him writing a song for his friend going down to mexico to be in a movie, and just being affectionate and proud about it! idk!)

favorite picture of them: ahhh...how about:

also this from ligue 1 for the LOLS 😂 if i had a deki rainbow jersey i'd never take it off

[ladycatofwinterfell]

💋💋💋

This one might be fitting to your emojis, apart from that I don’t have much to say

“Uhm, Mrs. Stark?”

Catelyn looked up from the dishes in the sink to find her daughter-in-law standing in the doorway. She knew the girl was a bit shy, but she hadn’t looked that way since the first time they met. Catelyn believed they had formed a very good relationship over the two years it had been since Robb brought Jeyne to meet them for the first time. So why did the girl look so incredibly flustered?

“Yes, Jeyne?” she said.

“I have a few questions” Jeyne said very slowly, as if she was thinking intently about every word coming from her mouth. “And normally I would have asked friends about it, but none of my friends have been pregnant, so they can’t answer.”

Still she looked more at the ground than at Catelyn.

“Well, I do have five pregnancies behind me, I’m sure I can answer your questions. Please sit.”

If there was anything she knew it was how it was to be pregnant. She had known it all. All the issues, and all the wonders.

Jeyne sat on one of the chairs by the kitchen table while Catelyn dried her hands on a towel.

“I don’t mean to tell you anything you don’t wish to hear, and if you feel uncomfortable you can just tell me to stop, really, I can find someone else to ask” Jeyne began, nervously rubbing her hands together.

Catelyn sat opposite of her, crossing her legs.

“You’ll have to say quite extreme things to send me running” she told her daughter-in-law. “I’m not sensitive.”

She would be very surprised if Jeyne managed to say something that she considered too much. She would also be slightly impressed.

“Oh, okay” Jeyne said, nodding. “Well, I… uhm. I’m already pregnant. And still I really want sex. Often. Is that normal?”

The last part was said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

Catelyn had to keep herself from laughing. She really didn’t want Jeyne to feel humiliated, but also it sounded so funny. And Jeyne looked like she had just shared with Catelyn the location of a body she had buried.

“Do you mind if I open up a bit about my own experience with this?” she asked.

That actually seemed to make Jeyne relax a bit.

“Not at all, go ahead.”

“I was incredibly horny during all my pregnancies. Like, ridiculously so. I could have sex five times a day, and I still wanted more. It’s normal, and you’re completely fine.”

Ned had been so tired of her. He enjoyed it, of course, but towards the end she had often opted to deal with her intense need of orgasms on her own rather than bother him. She would always remember the look on his face when they had been fucking all night and she still wanted to go again in the morning. So many times she had driven him to the point where he was physically unable to go on.

If Jeyne tried to hide her surprise she wasn’t doing it very well.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and my only advice for you is to invest in some good toys. Because your husband might not always be ready to perform, whenever you have need of it.”

[rosenallies]

It’s me! Hi! Nat and Jane enthusiast who writes you little fics 🙋🏽‍♀️ I need to start using a specific emojis or something so that you know that its me but anyway I’m back with a story but for teacher au 🤭 This is very long and I’m so sorry but it’s too funny not to share. So bear with me 😭 im going to explain this situation that happened with me and my younger brother but instead of me and him, I’m going to insert emerald and jasper (even though our age gap is 10 years instead of 3 so this situation was even dumber for us 😭 but hopefully this story makes sense)

So it’s a Saturday which for kids that’s turn up day. And on this particular Saturday, their parents aren’t home and at this point the kids are like 11 and 14. Jasper comes knocking on his sisters door and telling her that nonny asked both of them to do the dishes while they’re all gone. So he says, to make an equal workload, he’ll unload the dishwasher and she can load the dirty dishes. But he wants her to come in the kitchen with him because he’s bored. She’s like okay whatever and she brings her phone to play music so that they’re no bored. And they’re kind of talking when emeralds playlist starts playing Break Free by Ariana Grande (this is important as this is the exact song that me and my brother were acting like complete fools to🥲). When Jasper and Emerald get together they act so silly, so when this song comes on they stop what they’re doing and just start break dancing and shit. Keep in mind, Jasper is a gangly child with poor control of his limbs 😭 While they’re dancing and just being stupid, he FALLS. And not like a regular fall it’s like a cartoon character that slipped on a banana type fall. Feet completely left the floor and everything 😭😭 And somehow (I don’t even know how this happened in real life) he hits a lower cabinet and dents the fuck out of it 😭 first Em makes sure he’s okay and she’s really freaked out but he’s fine. Once he says that he’s okay, his butt just hurts she loses it 😂 So now she’s hysterically laughing at him. Like bent over, stomach hurting, crying laughing. But then they notice the dent and they’re both like 😮 they don’t even finish the dishes because Em has to help him to the couch and while she was bringing him an ice pack, their parents get home 💀 so they’re like what do we say about the dent?? Parents saying hello and before they can even ask them anything the kids start frantically explaining what happened and the parents are just like “huh?” “You feel and broke our cabinet dancing??” They ofc gets laughed at by their parents and told they aren’t allowed to break dance in the kitchen 😭

Hope you enjoyed that because I’m crying reliving this in my head 😅

snsbsbsb pls 😭😭 first of all, was ur brother ok bc 🫣🫣🫣 how tf did he dent a whole ass cabinet 😭😭 that is so cute tho I can imagine them doing chores together all the time just bc they like the company and it makes it go by quicker when theyre having fun 🥰🥰

[high-themme]

Clip Clop Bitch. I'm on my Dry January High Horse.

Can I even write this?

I’ve tried before, to write witty-yet-moving-oh-so-poignant posts that are (shudder)... vulnerable.

I mean simple as this, I want to write about my real life. But unlike the Asexual Sex Worker moment, I can’t afford a pedestal here.

I’m in the last hour of dry January, day one.

And no, I’m not feigning for anything, I haven’t broken out into a cold sweat nor am I smoking two week old ends that are 99% roach.

No, I’m not having withdrawals.

I just feel ashamed.

And that’s what it is for me, really. More than whatever a particular substance might do for me. Because honestly, I don’t particularly like the feeling of my heart jumping out of my chest, I get overwhelmed easily enough as it is. I do enjoy dancing in a circle when I’m ketty and you better believe and I can fuck up a combination drug BUT simply enough, I do drugs because they blunt the shame.

And so… it’s less of a case of ‘How Will I Go Month Without Using?’ and more ‘How Will I Go A Month Feeling Like This?’

Last 45 minutes of dry January, day one.

The sweet thing about addiction is the way it snuck up on me, like a cheeky friend pouncing on you for an expensive surprise hug. I genuinely felt like the most adorable BIMBO when I realized how much, how frequently and at what cost I was using. On the 21st of November I text my friend “taking a drug break lmao” followed by “like I keep doing coke when I buy ket” “so I’m inadvertently doing mad coke” “what’s funny is that I really had no clue” “really and truly” “I was just gonna carry on”. And it’s all punctuated by crying-laughing emojis and a “those white folks are dangerous” for good measure.

I don’t necessarily feel that there is a lot wrong with that. There’s guilt, but I’m not entirely sure where the guilt is located, something along the lines of knowing that this is a systemic issue. That ultimately we’re all racking up lines at a cost to someone, probably someone other than ourselves. I’m not here to criminalise using. But when you think about using with regards to race, class and privilege, who’s championing harm reduction and who’s labeled a crackhead is a fucking fine white line.

Last half an hour of dry January, day one.

So what is this for? I don’t really have any sensational stories about what I did and how it made me feel. I’ve never been in what felt like immediate danger. But I have been stung. That said, it wasn’t necessarily the drugs in those cases, it was other people. And in writing that, I realise that drugs have been, as much as I hate to say it, an obvious weak point for people to have spotted. At one point, it was my curiosity, lack of experience and impulsive habits that led me to place trust in using with people who had an agenda. I thought we were healing, turns out we were scamming. What a creative way to POOF my mental health and close relationships into a seemingly never ending sink hole as large as the city of Berlin. The big clubs, the lakes, the parks, the large apartments and all their ghosts slithering back into the very swap that it was built upon.

Last fifteen minutes of dry January, day one.

And on the flipside of that, it was later my over-assuredness in using and short-lived microdosing fling that was weaponized. In a spooky character arc with a shall-not-be-named frenemy, the drugs we were doing together became the subject of my sole public degradation when we were evicted from a hell hole of a flat share by former tenants, a landlord and an inherently cruel letting agent conspiring to have a queer household dissolved. Said letting agent, after a period of threats, deceit and harassment, entered our home without consent, found less than a gram of a class b powder, then proceeded to humiliate us, laughing down the phone, changing the locks and subjecting us to a three hour gap in which we were to pack up our lives and vacate. He had the courtesy to return our deposits, eventually, which were then the subject of a violent scramble of 20 somethings deeply lacking in self esteem and moral compass. How quickly a feminist can become police. How fast an ally to silence consent.

Last five minutes of dry January, day one.

Is this still about dry January, or have I taken a deeply pessimistic turn into “hell is other people”?

Maybe I have lost sight of the point I was trying to make. Maybe this is my purging.

Shame, the angle of my arm, trapped under my body, blacked out on the couch. Shame, crying and hacking into a bin bag, hands trembling as I light a cigarette, the windows are closed and this is all I can do to keep from throwing up. Shame, my heart keeps on breaking and this is how to smoothe over the cracks. Shame, I am too generous, I am too needy, I am too much. I am too trusting, I am too mothering, I am deserving of this because.

Because because because because.

Ten minutes into dry January, day two.

I have a text from my friend that says “Well I can’t say I’m not hurt by this decision” - it’s her birthday soon and I’m taking the high horse by skipping the horse meds - followed by “But ultimately I am deeply proud of you” “You are taking care of your body which you have been saying you want to do as a performer and I’m proud of that x”.

I can write this.

[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

[tomanpeach]

🤍 valentine's day with baji 🤍

a/n: okay waiter!baji came to me in a VISION and i am so happy with him and how this turned out i love this boy god gOD GOD!!!!

content: mmmm fluff :)

nervously checking your phone again, you realize this guy is now an hour late. it's getting to the point where you worry that you've been stood up. which sucks, obviously. but being stood up in a crowded restaurant on valentines day? you wanted to crawl under the table and start screaming.

some couples at the surrounding tables give you pitying glances while they eat and talk and act visibly and disgustingly in love. the older waiters are glaring at you, wanting so badly to threaten to give your table away but having to stay professional. only one waiter seems to feel for you. he's younger than the rest of the waitstaff, probably about your age, with a handsome smile and jet black hair that's tied back out of his face. when he looks over at you and meets your gaze, there's genuine concern in his eyes.

it wasn't like this guy you were waiting on was the love of your life; just someone you'd been talking to for a little over a week on a dating app. when talk eventually made its way to the topic of being dateless for valentine's day, you'd both agreed to go out somewhere together. won't that be so funny? he had said. to go on a first date on valentine's day?

but even though he didn't mean a damn thing, it still hurt you to be sitting here on the day of the date and he hadn't said a single thing to you in hours. he'd left you to make a fool of yourself in public. in a fancy setting, in a nice fucking dress.

won't that be so funny?

checking your phone for the millionth time just to make sure, you take a deep breath and prepare to stand up.

a waiter approaches your table and clears his throat, "uh, hi."

it was definitely not the time. your patience was at an all time low and you didn't trust yourself with speaking to a stranger. but when you look up, it's the cute waiter standing there beside your table. he's giving you a sympathetic smile that almost doesn't make you want to cry. almost.

"first of all," he lowers his voice and indicates to the seat across from you. "fuck whoever this was supposed to be."

the unexpected words earn a genuine laugh from you. he smiles, encouraged, "so...listen, my shift ends in 10 minutes. it's really fucked of me to ask you to wait anymore tonight, but... let me take you out for a drink. or ice cream, or something. gorgeous girl like you shouldn't have valentine's day wasted because of some douchebag. whaddya think?"

you hesitate; he was a complete stranger, after all. but the look on his face was so genuine, something was tugging at you deep down to tell you to trust him.

"okay," you nod. "thank you."

"i should be thanking you!" he grins his captivating grin, showing off charmingly vampiric teeth. "i'm about to take the most beautiful girl in the building out for valentine's day."

with a wink, he leaves you to go finish his work. you watch him as he circulates through the restaurant, cracking jokes and looking for ways to be helpful, always leaving a trail of smiling, charmed diners in his wake.

what a nice guy, you think. you send a middle finger emoji to the guy from the app and hit the block button.

"ready?"

you look up to see that the waiter has returned, apron folded over his arm. he's still wearing his work uniform of slacks and a white button down, though, with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, it looks much less formal. god, he's handsome.

"ready," you smile, hopping up and following him out of the restaurant.

the two of you start down the street. you don't bother asking him if he's got a place in mind because you realize you don't really care where you go. from the moment you got outside, he's talking like he's known you for years. you find out that his name is baji keisuke, he lives at home with his mother who he adores while he saves up to move into his own place, he rides a motorcycle, he loves old kung fu movies, and he's never been on a date for valentine's day before.

as much as baji talks, though, he also expects you to talk just as much. he asks about your family, your job, your interests. you recount funny childhood memories to each other, describe your least favorite teachers from high school, and compare first kiss stories.

somewhere during the conversation the two of you walk into a bar and order drinks. nothing seems to matter except for what he has to say and the enthusiastic way he listens to everything you say back. you can't remember a time when conversation ever flowed so easily with another person. baji keisuke was definitely special.

when baji pauses to sip his drink you ask, "how is this your first valentine's day date?"

smiling, he just shrugs, "just timing, i guess. so today i'm feeling really lucky that you– oh fuck, that was gonna come out all wrong..." you burst out laughing and baji sighs in relief. "i'm sorry your day started out shitty. but i'm really glad we were able to meet." he reaches into his folded apron and fishes a few dinner mints and hershey's kisses from the pocket.

placing them on the table, you notice he softens. "sorry it's not very fancy or romantic."

"it's really perfect, keisuke," you feel yourself almost blushing. "you really saved my whole day."

you split the tab shortly after realizing you'd somehow been at the bar for almost three hours, completely absorbed in your conversation.

when you get outside, baji offers to walk you home.

"thanks, that's sweet of you."

"nah, it's selfish," he teases. "i just wanna spend more time with you."

as you start walking side by side, he notices you shiver slightly as the chilly wind whips around the two of you. he throws an arm around your shoulders and tugs you close to his side. "sorry i don't have a jacket," he apologizes, rubbing your arm to try and warm you up. "this is better, actually," you smile at the ground, hoping he can't see the way your cheeks have flushed pink.

baji throws his head back and laughs, hugging you tighter, "you're really fuckin' cute, you know that?"

when you finally arrive at your house he plants himself in front of you and reaches for you hand. "tonight was awesome," he says, face lit up. "you're amazing. please let me take you out again."

you're stunned by how forward he's being. before you can think of a response, he leans in and presses his warm lips to your cheek. "think about it, okay?"

"no," you grab his wrist as he starts to walk away. his face falls when he hears that word. "no, i don't need to think about it. i want to go out with you again."

"name the time and place, baby," his smile shines brighter than the moon.

[chimielie]

just keep on winning

summary: Oikawa x Figure Skater!Reader. He wonders why everyone warned him about the Olympic sex-fest; he thinks he’s in far more danger if he’s developing a crush this bad after approximately half an hour of interaction. Sequel here.

word count: 3.6k

cw: swearing, sex jokes, one self-indulgent reference to favor the brave, reader speaks All The Languages

a/n: per anon's request! i got totally carried away and did so much research and then i didn't want to throw away half the fic because i'd done all that research ahaha so. three thousand six hundred and thirty something words [crying emoji] enjoy!! i had a lot of fun tbh so i hope you do too

Oikawa is getting tired of having condoms thrown at him.

It’s funny the first day, when he arrives in Olympic Village, when the staff member showing them around points to the freely available contraceptives— a veritable mountain of them— and his teammates nudge him, smirking.

“Hardly enough for the whole team,” they all laugh raucously. “Hell, Tooru alone’ll be burning through those in the first week.”

“I’m here to win,” he says sternly, making a show of grabbing a few packets and tossing them in the air, catching them with his other hand and tucking it neatly behind his back. “But it’s always best to be safe.”

“Now he’s concerned with his well being,” comments Bruno.

“I’m in top health,” he snaps his wrist back and sends one of the foil packets spinning through the air. It lands squarely on his friend’s forehead, and he catches it only after it bounces off. “Improve your reflexes before you tell me I work too much.”

The guide looks both awestruck and like she’s trying not to laugh. He winks at her and she covers her squeak with one hand.

It’s still funny that night, when he’s settling into his dorm and walks into the hall, only to be pelted with foil packets.

“Please, please, I know I’m attractive, but there’s no need to beg for my attention like this,” he laughs. “Watch the face! Aye, those corners are sharp!”

He can barely sleep that night, partially because of jet lag and partially because he lies awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking I’m at the Olympics I’m an Olympian holy fucking shit I’m an Olympics holy shit holy shit holy shit!

If you were a mind reader, his thoughts would sound like a series of exclamation marks.

He gets a scant three hours of sleep before he’s awoken a full half hour early by the obnoxious, familiar smack of his best friend.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Iwaizumi says, folding his arms. Oikawa rubs his eyes.

“Awoken by my true love,” he says breathily, and gets smacked again.

“I forgot you were a morning person,” Iwaizumi grumbles. “Sick in the head, you are.”

“I missed you!” Oikawa throws his arms around the shorter man. “And I’ll pretend those weren’t your first words to me in person after nine million years of not getting to experience my winsome face-to-face presence.”

Iwaizumi’s arms come up to squeeze Oikawa just as tightly.

“Yeah, I missed you too.”

They go for a run together, and Oikawa finds that he’s gotten faster than Iwaizumi. Sure, he was slightly impaired during their last year of school, but it’s still something to gloat about.

“I can’t even be mad, Olympian,” Iwaizumi holds out his fist when they’re done. Oikawa bumps it, then dashes for the meal center.

“Race you!” He calls over his shoulder, and he can feel Iwaizumi’s eyes roll, like, spiritually, but he follows nevertheless.

“—You were like whoosh, and scree! And then BAM!” Comes a familiar voice, and sure enough, when Oikawa swings his head around, the sound effects are emitting from a bright orange shortstack.

“Small fry!” Calls Oikawa, dashing over and lifting him into the air. “How’s it going?”

“I’m at the Olympics!” States Hinata enthusiastically. Oikawa laughs.

“This is true. So am I!”

“Did you see all the condoms?” Hinata drops his voice to a loud whisper. “I saw them and thought of you.”

Oikawa blinks and receives with not a little amusement another few foil packets.

“You messing with my team?” Iwaizumi looms up behind him and Oikawa laughs, handing him the condoms.

“Chibi-chan here was just trying to help me out, I guess,” he says. “I have more than enough already, you know, my team was throwing them at me yesterday. Wasteful, honestly. I’m not planning on getting lucky with anything except my match with them.” He jerks his chin towards the gathered Japanese National Team. “And that won’t be luck,” he finishes, a prideful feeling swelling in his chest as his eyes land on his own team, sitting together and digging into their own morning meals.

Three days after arriving in Olympic Village, it’s not so funny anymore.

“We’re not in high school anymore,” he whines when he sits down next to a grinning Iwaizumi, who’s holding a bowl of condoms. “I’m not a flirt, I’m just good looking.”

“Lying is a sin,” says Lopez piously, grabbing a few for himself.

“Premarital sex is a sin,” Oikawa says, snatching the bowl back. “Get your own.”

Five days in, he’s adjusted fully to the new time zone— better than most of his teammates can say, but what can he say? He’s never had much trouble with moving around, or with forcing his body through grueling regimens.

Oikawa may not be in high school anymore, but he may still have a slight problem with overworking himself. Slightly.

“Tooru,” Coach Blanco calls, walking in. “You’ve been at it for a little too long. Take a breather.”

Oikawa tosses the ball in his hands up in the air and hits it hard, watching it flatten on the opposite side of the court with no small satisfaction. The bang echoes in total silence.

“Last one, Coach,” he says cheerily as he walks past Blanco to collect his things. “You know we’re at the Olympics, yeah? No such thing as too much training.”

Blanco tosses the ball back to him, all the way across the court.

“Don’t let your anxiety control the way you play,” he says simply. “That includes injuring yourself through overwork. Blow off some steam. Use some of those condoms, or, better yet, go see one of the massage therapists.”

Well, he has no intention of using the condoms.

He’s supposed to meet Iwaizumi in the spa, but when he gets there, his friend is already in conversation with someone.

“Behind you,” he taps the athletic trainer on the shoulder. Iwaizumi’s conversational partner, who had been turned around, pointing at something, spins on their heel, and—

Oh.

Your smile is the first thing he notices, huge and infectious and wildly attractive. He can feel citrus bursting on his tongue, looking at that smile. He can feel the Argentinean sun on his skin, looking at that smile.

“Oh, you’re the one Iwaizumi is meeting! I’ll let him go, then, I’d hate to keep you—” you direct the you at Iwaizumi— “from your hot date.”

“He’s passable at best,” Iwaizumi says.

“And I’m here for a massage! I would hate to be the one to take Iwa-chan from his girlfriend when I set them up,” he throws an arm over Iwaizumi’s shoulder and is promptly shrugged off.

“You barely set us up,” he says. “Barely.”

“All my work,” Oikawa tells you. You throw him a bone and nod conspiratorially. “You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”

Iwaizumi snorts.

“I just have one of those faces,” you say, deadpan, but a new smile, mischievous and close-lipped, tugs at the corners of your mouth. “You said you needed a massage?”

You pass by him in line for lunch the next day, after he’s gotten an excellent massage and a good night’s sleep. He was barely even sore this morning— and despite all his protesting, he knows he should have been barely able to move after his excessive-even-for-the-fucking-Olympics training regimen of the last couple days. Sure, their early arrival and need to adjust to Japan Standard Time means that their schedules are a little more lax than they will be in a week, but he knows that he’s been grating on his trainer’s nerves.

You smile at him, orange peels and sunny skies, and he grins back, his grip on his plate nearly slipping.

“My favorite massage therapist!” He cheers, and a split second of confusion crosses your face.

“I didn’t give you a massage?”

“Yeah, but you are one, right?” He gasps. “Unless you’re an athlete, oh my God, I just assumed, which event are you competing in? I’m so sorry—”

“Hey, don’t worry, don’t worry,” you wave him off with crinkled eyes. “I’m not competing in the 2020 Summer Olympics,” you deepen your voice and make jazz hands. “I still didn’t give you a massage, though.”

“There’s time yet,” he tells you. “I didn’t even get your name, gosh, I’m all sorts of scrambled.”

“No worries, it’s stressful to have the Games coming up,” you say. “Uh, right?” He nods. “It’s Y/N L/N, and I don’t know your name either.”

“Tooru Oikawa,” he says. “I’d shake, but my hands are full, sorry.”

“No worries,” you say, and graze your cheek along his. Tooru doesn’t blush as easily as he did when he lived here, but he can still feel his face filling with red. “You’re Argentine, yeah? Hope that wasn’t weird.”

“Yeah,” he says. “You know our customs so well, you should come sit with us. Me and the team.”

“Hmm,” you say, twisting your lips to the side. “I don’t know, will Iwaizumi be there?”

“Uh,” Oikawa flicks his eyes towards his team’s area. “I can’t see from here.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you say, turning towards where he’s looking. “He has a girlfriend, and I think you’re more attractive anyway.”

When you look over your shoulder, he’s still staring at you, an embarrassed, delighted expression making its way over his face.

He wonders why everyone warned him about the Olympic sex-fest; he thinks he’s in far more danger if he’s developing a crush this bad after approximately half an hour of interaction.

Evidently, there’s no need to introduce you to his team, or at least one of them.

“Y/N!” Beams Garcia, and as soon as he’s standing you’re dapping him up, then going in for a one-armed hug. Oikawa’s not sure if he’s more jealous that you evidently know his teammate or pleased that you gave him and not Garcia a cheek kiss.

“How have you been?”

“I’d be better if you’d text me back!” You laugh at him, patting the pocket your phone is evidently in.

“I’m busy,” you tell him. “And you haven’t texted me for, like, half a year.”

“You know each other?” Oikawa asks, deliberately keeping his tone light. “Tell me, Garcia, why didn’t you introduce me sooner?”

You giggle, and pride swells in his chest.

“We met at a party a couple years ago,” you tell Oikawa. “I wrecked him at beer pong once, too.”

“Some party,” Garcia snorts.

“What,” Oikawa looks between you two, bewildered. “What kind of party was this? Like?” He makes some obscene gesture— he doesn’t even know what he’s miming, honestly. For a renowned flirt in Japan (and alright, he’s had his moments in the years since he left), he’s found that he’s considered hilariously prudish to some people. Culture is a funny thing.

Garcia merely roars with laughter, while you keep looking at Oikawa for a little while longer. Your eyes on him are altogether too much for him, and he drops his hands, feeling heat rise to his cheeks once more. He shovels rice into his mouth and hopes that he doesn’t choke.

“No,” your face dawns with realization. “Oh, no, not at all.” Your laughter is as intoxicating as the rest of you, charming and undiluted by any emotion other than simple, pure happiness. You lean on him for support, your hand burning through his jersey and right to his skin as you continue to be overcome. He’s sure his teammates are taking note of his sickening, schmaltzy expression, and he’s sure he’ll get unprecedented levels of shit for it later, but you look up at him, bent at the waist, eyes sparkling and little noises of mirth still escaping your chest as you try to get your breathing to stabilize, and, wow, he has to swallow his rice fast or he really will choke.

“It wasn’t that funny,” he defends.

“You didn’t see yourself. What were you even— even—” and he’s sent you off again, peals of laughter ringing through his head and leaving it stuffed with cotton.

“You leave Oikawa speechless,” Lopez says when all the hysterics have finally died down. Oikawa sits, arms crossed, pouting. “We like you. Come to our practice today.”

“My schedule’s clear,” you shrug. “If it’s okay with you?”

It takes him a second to realize that you’re talking to him.

“Of course, I’d love it if you come,” he says, folding his hands.

As you poke his cheek— and so does Garcia, on his other side, but he’s not concerned with Garcia— he thinks— it’s too much like high school.

In high school, he liked having his girlfriend watch him practice (she hadn’t liked it so much). He’d dated people since then, too, but none of them (save the one volleyball player) had ever been asked to practice, and the v-ball player had been critical instead of cheering him on, and that was just weird. Thus, after practice, he’s a little nervous.

His crush is barely a crush and he suffers no illusions about that. But so early on, there are signs that you’ll get along with him, and your reaction to the love of his life, his cruelest mistress, his reason for living (he could go on), is certainly one.

He knows you’ve seen volleyball before, since it had been asked on your way over.

“...What did you think?” Is his leading question, you having sped to the front of the group as they all walk back for free time and dinner.

“So cool! Volleyball looks fun— well, I wasn’t any good at it, back in middle school— and you’re incredible.” You gush, and he swears all the muscles in his body release their tension right then. “I didn’t even want to cheer while you were playing, I was too nervous— you looked so focused.”

“You could’ve cheered,” he ducks his head and scratches the back of his neck. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I’ll be cheering during the games,” you say confidently.

“I’ll keep an ear out,” he says, knocking into you by accident. You just knock him back, though, and it’s easy. You get me, he thinks.

The two of you form a casual friendship over the next week— you’re often hanging around the spa, and Tooru gets sent there more often than he’d like to admit, and you help him relax, with your upbeat attitude and encouraging nature.

His team likes you, too, and instead of inflaming into some kind of disturbing obsession, his attraction to you relaxes into a simple interest in your person and an appreciation of your presence.

It’s two nights before the opening ceremony (breathe, Tooru, two nights, two nights) and he’s watching Schweiden Adler matches on his phone after dinner, earbuds in.

“Hey,” you say, sliding into the seat next to him, and he plucks them out, waving at you mutely. “Nervous?”

“Me? Never,” he says drily. “Only the biggest event of my life so far.”

“Hey, you’ve been working toward this your entire life,” you pat him on the shoulder. “I’m not going to tell you to relax because that would be stupid, but don’t drive yourself up a wall with anxiety. The Games are games— they can be as fun as they are nerve-wracking.”

“You speak from experience?” He’s looking at you with lazy eyes, a smirk plastered over his face, and while his expression is fond, it doesn’t distract from the keen sensation that you are looking at one of the most intense people you will ever meet.

“Sochi 2014,” you say, biting your lip as you smile. The unnerving aura around him disappears within a second as his mouth drops into a perfect oval. “And PyeongChang 2018, too.”

“You— you lied! To me! Like a liar!” He balls up his napkin and throws it at you. “You said you weren’t an athlete!”

“I did not,” you dodge. “I said I wasn’t competing here! I’m a winter sport! Stop throwing things at me!”

“I wanna see,” he gasps, wide eyed and seemingly already forgetting all about the betrayal. “Show me, show me, show me show me show me!”

“Fine, fine,” you push at his head with one hand, but he returns, dogged. “Look me up on YouTube.”

He’s never typed in anything faster— maybe this is what his slim, long setter fingers are for.

“This one?” He points at the first result. You take his phone and squint at the screen, scrolling through the videos.

“Mm, no. No. Oh, that one was embarrassing. No. Wait, this one was good! This one, this one.” You make your selection and hand the device back to him. He puts in the right earbud and offers you the left. “Oh, I don’t need it. I mean, I was there, so, uh…”

“Just take it,” he says, and you favor him with a shy smile and take the bud.

He presses play.

You glide onto the screen amidst applause and the overlaid commentary begins, introducing you, your range within a point system he doesn’t understand, and the music, which he’s pretty sure he used to listen to as motivational study music back in high school.

You skate around the rink a few times, then take your place still, folding yourself into a graceful starting position. The music begins, and the camera angle shifts. He can see the beatific smile on your face as you begin moving, quick, yet graceful. Your costume is dazzling, but not distracting or gauche— he doesn’t care much about the way you’re dressed, anyway, not when you look like that.

Your tights are, in a word, tight, and if he were a lesser man he’s sure he’d be zeroed in on your ass, which is admittedly right there. His eyes instead trace the long line of your back, the smooth curves of your arms and your well-muscled thighs, the way you look like you were born walking on ice instead of steady land. He becomes more and more sure that every inch of you must be pure muscle as the video progresses. You move lightly through the first minute, swinging like there are wings holding you up from one improbable position to the next.

The music intensifies, and he leans closer as your movements become more dramatic, although you still appear to be swimming through the air, no less bound by the laws of gravity now than he is on the volleyball court. Every beat is hit, every movement is obviously precise even to his untrained eye. Watching you skate, Oikawa realizes that he’s been dining with a master.

Your skating is equal parts dancing and storytelling on ice. Oikawa can appreciate that even without knowing what most of the moves mean.

He pauses the video and tries to unjumble his words.

“Can we mute it and you explain?” he says, all in a rush, words stringing together as clumsily as he feels compared to you.

“You’re sure?”

“I don’t like the announcer’s voice,” he nods, even though he could care less. He just wants to hear it from the person doing it.

“Alright,” and you might be winter sports royalty, but the way you brighten up talking about figure skating is still reminiscent of July, hot and reverent and limned with white gold. “So there’s the triple lutz-triple loop, which I was so worried about because I kept fucking it up in practice, not to mention that it doesn’t have the push a toe loop gives…”

He listens carefully as you tell him all about a sport he’s never even considered before, and he might be a stranger to skating, but the love and fire in your voice as you speak is as familiar as his own reflection. The commentary you provide doesn’t detract at all, but instead gives him insight into the skater on his screen, helps him understand. For a short while, he falls in love with figure skating, too.

On his phone, you finish, arms held high, eyes glittering, and after a second of that elegant, frozen landing, you’re skating around the rink again, gloved hands thrown up in the air as that orange-peel smile crosses your face, bigger than he’s seen it even in real life. You exit the rink, not even stumbling as you transition to the mats from the ice the way he used to when his sister took him skating as a kid.

“So what does that mean? What did you get?” He asks, when the video ends, again on a point scoring system he doesn’t understand. Your smile is triumphant, even after all these years.

“Gold.”

Oikawa Tooru doesn’t like geniuses.

He does like passion, evidently, he thinks your demonstrable expertise is hot. He likes athleticism, and drive, and going the distance. He likes you, and you have all these things, and it’s frightening, how seductive not even five minutes of watching you in your element was.

He hopes he’ll have a reason to use those condoms eventually.

“Holy fucking shit,” he breathes, and wraps his arms around you in a hug. You lean in just as hard, the victory still fresh, your laurels barely askew.

“Right? I wasn’t a top pick to win, either, I earned that with blood,” you tell him. He squints at you.

“Can you read minds?”

“What? No. Why?” He shakes his head, refocusing. Oikawa’s cheeks are red and his eyes are clear when he runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it so it falls in soft waves over his ears (also red). He leans away from you, an inch or so, and then closer again. He smells like lemongrass and young love, and even though you’re not kids anymore you don’t think it’s so terrible that he makes you feel like one.

“Not important. Can I take you out sometime after the Games are done?”

tagging: @crystal-lilac , @kohi-zeri

[leetotters]

sassy quips

note: this was so much fun writing. credits to the funny tiktok audios and instagram videos i saw to write this short fic! the writing in italics is the 'youtube video'. i need a better title for this

warnings: tom and reader are together ofc, cursing, sassy/funny!reader? lmao

tom holland x reader, tom holland and co x reader(platonic lol)

summary: harrison stumbles upon a youtube video containing funny/sassy moments between y/n and the holland brothers(including harrison)

Tom and Harrison's loud laughs could be heard from the living room, the boys were currently doing an Instagram live, claiming it was the perfect time to do one since they were bored and Tom hadn't interacted with his fans in the longest while.

You yawned walking into the room finding Tom's phone propped up on the blue fruit bowl, showing his screen the lasagna Sam made earlier. "Hey guys" You spoke, jumping over Harrison's giggly body on the carpeted floor to seat yourself on Tom's awaiting lap.

"Hey love, sleep well?" Tom asked, brushing the loose hair that rested on your forehead before pecking the space between your brows. "Yes" You sighed, turning your attention to Tom's live.

You skimmed through the comments, laughing at some funny ones and awing at the ones stating you were pretty and all boosting your confidence, "Someone asked why is Harrison laughing" You read aloud gaining the blonde's attention.

"I found a video on YouTube and it's hilarious" He grinned pushing his phone so it was in front of your face. You twitched your brows up when you saw the title.

'Y/N and the Holland Brothers funny/sassy moments'

"Oh my, no way" You grabbed his phone, clicking the video. "Wait" Harry took the phone, connecting the YouTube video to the television before handing it back to you. "Now everyone can see" He explained, plopping down on the sofa with a bowl of pretzels.

"Ready?" You inquired, pressing the play button on the phone when the boys replied with an amused 'yes'. Tom flipped the camera so the live could also see the video being displayed on the flat screen.

The music of the YouTube channels intro played, the classic aesthetic sound and the accounts name saying to subscribe before the title finally showed up. 'Y/N and the Holland brothers funny/sassy moments part.1'

-

"I am single" You wistfully spoke, your lips forming into a pout taking a sip of your orange juice before continuing. "And you're single" You pointed at Tom making him get a sense of hope that you're finally catching on that he likes you. "And well that can only mean one thing" You closed the cap of your juice, Tom smiled waiting excitedly for your answer.

"Nobody fucking wants us yo what the fuck" You dropped your head dramatically on the marble counter. Tom rolled his eyes, resuming the task he was doing before you barged in.

"Why you do him like that Y/N" Harrison voiced, his words stuttering from his loud laughs. "Tom was practically waiting for you to ask him out" Harry added bursting out into laughter as well. Tom and you just chuckled remembering that was days before he actually choked up the courage to ask you out.

-

At that moment you wanted to rip Tom's head off, who gave this foolish boy the idea of buying chickens? you questioned yourself while trying to stealthily grab the egg that rested under the hen. The boys were right behind you, outside of the coop cheering you on whilst you collected the eggs. "You can do it" Harrison clapped, swaying his head side to side. "You can do it" Sam danced along bumping his hip with Tom. "You can do it" Harry encouraged. "You can do this" Paddy sang, grinning when he heard you let out a loud huff. "You can do thi-"

"Shut the fuck up" You yelled glaring at Tom. "We're just encouraging you" They defended. "No! You almost made me drop the egg"  You whispered yelled hearing the hen starting to cluck.

Tears welled in all of your eyes, chortling at short clip, "You all are so annoying" You playfully rolled your eyes, earning a light pinch from Tom. "Oh please we were encouraging you!" They spoke simultaneously making everyone erupt in another fit of laughter.

-

Paddy ran up the staircase, trying his best to conceal his giggles as he ran into your and Tom's shared bedroom. "Y/N get out of the house, it's on fire" Paddy exclaimed, dropping down on the floor and rolling his way towards you to make his so called prank more believable. "Well tell the fire hold up, because I'm doing some important shit here" You replied not even caring that the younger boy was crazily rolling on the floor. You gave Paddy a weird look before clicking the resume button on your phone vibing to the song once more.

"Paddy really started rolling" Tom wheezed through laughs, genuinely finding it funny that his brother really thought he could prank you, he knew nothing came between you and your music vibing time.

-

"Hey did you call our neighbor Mrs. Johnson a bitch?" Harrison inquired, seeing the scene earlier where you flipped off the old lady for some odd reason. You looked up at Harrison from your spot between Tom's clingy arms, "Yeah! She changed her Wi-Fi password" You huffed, cuddling Tom again because you were pissed off. "Yo you can't be- that bitch changed the Wi-Fi password?!" Harrison gasped. "Guys Mrs. Johnson changed her Wi-Fi pass" Sam groaned walking into the room. "Y'know we have our own Wi-Fi right?" Tom chuckled honestly finding the situation rather stupid. "Her Wi-Fi is faster Tommy, no offense" You patted his chest.

"I'm so happy we got it back" You spoke up, the boys agreeing by nodding their heads. "Please you all are so dramatic" Tom uttered scrolling through the incoming comments and hearts on his live. "We shouldn't have given him the password" Harry grumbled softly only for you and Harrison to hear.

-

It was Saturday, and on this day it only meant one thing in the Holland household, dance night! The legendary sound of 'Watch Me' filled the neon colored living room, you skipped over to Sam knowing the song was one of his favorites. And well what happened next was uncalled for, when you were about to 'whip' you accidentally punched Paddy in the face.

"Okay so explain to me what happened" Tom asked holding the pack of peas against Paddy's swollen face. "Y/N punched me in the face" The teenager whined, his words muffled. "Bitch? No I didn't, I tried to whip and he was in my way" You held your hands up, stepping back, grinning when Sam voiced 'She's right, he was in her way Tom'

-

The screen blanked off, the channels end card appearing, the same aesthetic sound played but was drowned due to the laughter emanating from the room. "I told you'll it was hilarious" Harrison held his chest trying to calm down. "Wait there's a part two" Harry pointed to the video next up.

'Y/N and the Holland Brothers funny/sassy moments part 2'

"More?!" Tom and you shouted not wasting a minute later to click on the YouTube video. "The live is officially chaotic" You glanced at the phone screen, seeing the comments full with laughing emojis and other ones portraying the way you 'punched' Paddy. Boy it's going to be an eventful evening you thought, stealing a pretzel from Harry and leaning back on Tom's chest getting comfortable.

"Hey people, we're back" Sam and Paddy called out from the kitchen. Oh yes an eventful evening indeed.

[amerrierworld]

Our Baby

for the request @nawehl​: Lou x Debbie x reader, bondage and blindfolds with sub reader

Summary: Debbie and Lou decide your stresses need to be dealt with promptly. 

Characters: Lou x Debbie x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,129

Warnings: you guessed it, smut, sub!reader, bondage, blindfolds, collars, leashes :)

Somehow, getting constantly pampered by Lou and Debbie could get exhausting. Who would have thought there was actually a limit to how much adoration you could take? 

Today was one such day, a day where your two cons didn’t actually have any work to do. One joy about working illegally is they’re really not obligated to work full-time hours to live comfortably. With a couple millions in their pockets, why would they worry about working in the morning on a random day?

But you, however, did have pressing matters on hand. There were emails and things to check that you had to work on today, and though usually both your girlfriends would leave you alone, today was quite different.

To put it lightly, they were like a pair of consistent, annoying puppies who needed attention. It was easy at the moment, because Lou had gone out for a bit, and it was only Debbie you had to deal with. 

Debbie had sat down on the couch next to you, running a hand over your leg, asking a few curious questions. She seemed amused by how huffy you were being, until you finally pushed her arm away and snapped.

“I need to focus- this is not funny! I need to do this- I need-”

A sharp hand twisted your hair on the back of your head, and you were tugged back to look up at Debbie’s stormy eyes. She held you there, suspended, for five long seconds. Then your whole body relaxed and you leaned your head back, breathing deep.

“Good girl,” she whispered. You let out a whine from behind your teeth. She shut the laptop on the table, her hand loosened but not letting go.

“I think you need to relax, hm?” she asked. “You’ve been misbehaving far too much.”

“I have not-”

“Yes, you most definitely have.”

“I have work-”

“And it’s practically killing you. Computer away. Bed, now.”

You pouted, but knew better than to argue with her. But as you got up, Debbie decided to tug you back, pulling you into her lap and nudging your mouth open with her own.

“Relax.”

“I’m trying.” You squirmed, lightly kissing her back. She patted your hips.

“You’ll have to try a little harder. Otherwise I need to intervene.”

Your eyes widened slightly, and she grinned, looking up at you through her eyelashes. She then nodded her head for you to go up to the bedroom, and you hurried away.

As you walked away, Debbie took out her phone and texted Lou; take ur time getting home. she needs some help.. relaxing. better be ready when u get here. 

The only response Lou sent was a smirking emoji, and Debbie got up to hurry after you, ready to get all your attention.

-

“FUCK! Debbie- i-it’s too much!”

You were spread out on the bed, limbs tied to each bedpost. Debbie hovered over you, nude save for her panties. You were the same, but she had shoved a vibrator under the fabric to stay and torture you. She had played with the settings to the point where you were sweaty and shaky from the orgasm denial.

“Not until Lou gets home.” She smirked as you tried to move your hips, tried to press your legs together. You stared at her, face gorgeously contorted in a look of anguished pleasure, and she leaned forward to push a knee between your legs, making the toy press tightly against your cunt and sending shockwaves along your spine. 

It seemed to last forever. Your body had submitted to Debbie the moment she pounced on you in the bed, thoughts of work completely gone from your head.

Then, finally, you heard the front door open. Debbie’s face lit up like a child’s, and she straightened out your panties, patting your tummy dotingly, making sure the toy was in place.

Then a long slip of silk was tied around your eyes. You could see streams of light and very faint shadows, but other than that, it was dark. You grumbled in the back of your throat, but that earned you a pinch on the inside of your thigh. You yelped in surprise.

“Don’t be so bratty, otherwise I won’t let you come at all.”

You bit your lip, and listened to the door open and close. But there were no voices, no moving around. You realized Debbie had left to go outside to Lou, leaving you stranded in bed with a toy pulsing against your clit. You cursed in your head, and squirmed in the restraints.

You needed more, this wasn’t enough. Nothing was ever enough. You needed Debbie’s hand in your hair, or Lou’s mouth on your clit- needed their mouths, their cooing words of praise when you were a good girl for them. Fuck, you were so desperate at this point, you’d do anything.

Then the door creaked open, and you stilled suddenly, but your chest was rising and falling rapidly, blood pounding in your ears.

“Oh my, this is a sight to come home to,” Lou’s voice was low, and your skin tingled at the timbre of it. 

“I needed to put her in her place. She needed to relax. Far too stressed. A bit too much of a brat today I think.”

Your hips rose and you whined, “sorry..”

“What was that?”

You bit your lip. “I’m sorry.”

“Hmm. You think she deserves her present?”

You perked up. A present? Knowing Lou, a present could be as delightful as it could be agonizing when it came to bedplay.

“We’ve made her wait long enough I think.” 

There was some shuffling and you were straddled by a pair of bare legs, and you recognized Lou’s musky scent. A cool hand laid on your throat and you gasped, making her purr.

“Good girl.”

Then she slowly, gently, leaned forward and wrapped something around your neck. Something thick and smooth that smelled of leather and metal. A collar.

Your body flushed at the feeling of Lou tightening it in place. Her hair brushed your face and you twisted your head, hoping to catch her lips with your own. You managed to peck the corner of her mouth, and she chuckled. 

“Eager?”

You nodded frantically. 

“Learned your lesson?”

You huffed, but whispered, “yes.”

“Finally up to play, then?”

You nodded, your hands clenching into fists. Then slowly, Lou pushed the blindfold up and over your head. You blinked, and your mouth went dry at the sight of her.

Lou was wearing a black leather corset that was decorated with clasps and buckles, and pushed up her chest in a lingerie-like fashion. Sheer black panties made her look like a sex goddess with smokey dark eyes and ruffled hair. She seemed delighted at your reaction.

Then Debbie came into sight, wearing flowery, mauve lingerie that was lacy and seductive with stockings, garter belts and straps of all sorts. You nearly lost your mind at the sight of them both. They were contrasting each other beautifully, and they seemed very keen on how you were watching them. 

“We really should have just put this on, Debs.” Lou cocked her head and watched your eyes traipse up and down both their forms. “She seems to be very attentive now.”

“Hm, good.”

Debbie took the silk blindfold from Lou, untied it and then proceeded to tie it in a knot around a buckle at the front of your collar, making it a leash. She tugged experimentally, and you gasped at the jerk, wondering if you could get even wetter than you already were.

The sudden revelation of your girlfriends and the leash made you nearly forget about the vibrator working diligently against your cunt, but you clenched your muscles and were reminded of its presence. 

Lou and Debbie seemed to have a plan or some agreement in mind, because they exchanged places wordlessly. Now Debbie sat on your middle, a little higher on your torso. She held a tight grip on the leash, not letting you move your head at all, making you watch her face. 

Then Lou made her way between your legs, and with some maneuvering and one leg over the other, you could feel her cunt dangerously close to your own and the toy. 

Your mouth dropped into a surprised ‘o’ face as Lou began pushing herself against you, a satisfied groan escaping her at the pressure and vibrations.

“Fuck, Debs... you really got her wet,” she muttered, one of her hands grabbing your leg, holding onto you as she began thrusting over the toy. The pressure on your receiving end felt like hot sparks of pleasure as she pushed the vibrator against your already sensitive clit.

Debbie kept your body taut and strained as Lou chased her release, growling with satisfaction as you laid back, eyes begging and pleading up at Debbie.

“C-Can I come now?” you whimpered. “Now that- now that Lou’s back?”

Debbie smiled, leaning forward, tugging your leash so you lifted your head just barely. She pressed a chaste kiss on your gasping mouth,

“Not until after Lou, baby,” she said softly. You groaned, head dropping back as she let you go. 

“Won’t be long though.” Lou let out a huff of a laugh, fingernails digging into your unmoving legs. You bit your lip, and Debbie swiped her thumb over it, coaxing you to open your mouth.

“Don’t hold back, baby. Let it out. Does it feel good?”

“Fuck, yes!” you cried out. “God!”

“Not quite,” Lou replied cheekily. Her movements were jittery, speeding up, losing its rhythm. She was close.

And so were you. Their touches, their words, it made it very hard to try not to come all over the toy. 

A guttural groan, a stutter in her hips, and she fell over the edge with one final satisfied roll against you. And you thought- finally, finally, you��can come-

And then Lou pulled the toy out from between your legs, and you nearly screamed in frustration at the loss of pleasure. Your skin was sweaty, slick, and you looked up at Debbie with pleading eyes. She smiled teasingly. But she passed the leash back to Lou, removed her panties, and sat on your face instead.

You whined at her smell filling every senses. Her hand soothed your hair and crinkled forehead, smiling, and gasping as you gave her soft kitten licks where she needed it the most.

“L-Lou,” she managed to push out a few words as you began to dig in and sped up your pace a little. “I think- she finally deserves it, hm?”

“It looks like it.”

“Good girl,” Debbie gasped, grabbing the headboard and rocking herself on your eager tongue. Then you felt the soft press of the vibrator back on your cunt, slick with your juices still, and Lou’s teasing fingers tapping along the inside of your thighs.

The more Debbie groaned and gasped, the more Lou turned up the speed and added pressure with the toy. You found it hard to focus like this, hard to finish your task at hand, your wrists and ankles sore from the restraints, Debbie surrounding you and your cunt on the verge of bursting with Lou’s ministrations. 

“A-almost there, baby,” Debbie gasped, slapping a hand against the headboard, muscles tensing. “Go on. If I come, you can too.”

You lifted your head slightly and pressed as hard as you could as she rocked her hips steadily, and then her head tipped back, and her whole body went rigid.  

At the same time, Lou pressed hard, rubbing the toy against you, adding to the overstimulation, and you felt shocks and pinpricks in every nerve along your body as you finally reached your climax. 

You weren’t sure if you blacked out or not, but when you came back to your senses, your restraints had been removed and Lou was in the process of taking off the colour, which turned out to be a lovely burgundy leather shade. 

Debbie ran a hand along your hairline, lifting your arm to kiss along the faint marks on your wrists from where you strained against the cuffs. 

“Are you back on earth yet?” Lou asked, running a hand along your waist. You sighed, bucked your hips weakly, and nodded. She smiled widely, and helped you shimmy out of your soaked panties. 

“Still stressed?” Debbie asked as she settled next to you on the bed. With a blush, you shook your head, making both women chuckle.

“Good.” She kissed you on the forehead. Lou came to drape herself over both your middles, resting her head on Debbie’s middle, acting like a blanket that was pulsing with post-sex heat. 

You couldn’t even remember what had made you stressed in the first place. How wonderful. 

[ptergwen]

Could you write something about Tom going live on IG with his gf? like, they recently went public and the fans freak out about how whipped Tom looks or something like that 👉🏻👈🏻

eep this is adorable 🥺 i def want overboard cuz it’s pretty long uh

“love, you getting in?” tom calls to you from the living room, phone propped up in front of him. “yeah, one sec!” you yell back and join him on the couch. he puts an arm around your shoulders with a kiss to the side of your head. you lean into him more, his fingers running up and down your arm. “you sure you’re ready to do this, hm? we don’t have to,” he says quietly.

it wouldn’t be an understatement to say the entire world has been buzzing about yours and tom’s possible relationship for months already. a few out of context paparazzi pictures sparked the rumors. tom held you protectively by his side while you headed to the car after dinner one night. the moment was captured along with a few other intimate ones as time went on.

there was so much speculation, fans scowering the internet for your social media, trying to figure out who you were and how you knew tom. they’d come up with the wildest theories not just about you two, but about you only. some funny, some creepy, some just completely untrue. you’d come to a point where you wanted to set the record straight.

tom didn’t have any intentions of going public at first. this was exactly why. he already didn’t like what people were saying about you, so he couldn’t and refused to imagine how it would be if he confirmed you’re together. he’d thought he was doing what was best for you until you asked him to break the news to everyone.

he was skeptical of doing so, not wanting to put that attention on you because his experiences haven’t been so great, but you assured him over and over again you wanted this. tom eventually gave in and made a post with a caption the length of an essay to tell everyone about your relationship. he’d only hit post after you read it over and approved everything, of course.

today, you’re going live with him so his fans can get to know you a bit better.

“i’m okay, baby. i think you’re more nervous than i am,” you laugh out and give his cheek a quick peck. “probably. gonna have to learn to share my girl with the world,” tom sighs, keeping his arm tight around you as he leans forward. “they’ll want to steal you away from me.” “other way around, i think,” you retort. he’s forgetting he’s the internationally loved one.

“not after this.” he glances over at you so you lock eyes. “can i start the live?” “go for it,” you agree and watch him press the button. it connects a few seconds later, tom exhaling as he sits back again. going live in general always makes him anxious. having you here, subjecting you to the possible wrath of his followers, spikes his anxiety even more.

you put a calming hand on his knee, which he smiles at. you’re okay, he’s alright, you’ll both be fine. tens of thousands of people flood the live at once. the numbers grow right before your eyes, so much that it’s intimidating. “woah,” you mutter, earning a chuckle from tom. the comments don’t take long to start coming in.

everyone is saying your name in all caps and keyboard smashing. tom likes to wait a little before officially starting, giving himself some time to figure out what to say and things. he grins at you in his camera, you furrowing your eyebrows back. “hey guys,” tom begins as casually as usual. he purposely ignores all the comments yelling at him to explain himself.

he loves messing with the poor people.

“how’s everyone’s day going? we’re great, having a blast over here,” he carries on, pulling you in closer to his chest. “oh, you’re funny,” you mumble and pat his knee. your head is resting on his shoulder while you read the comments from your lopsided angle.

“they’re telling me to talk. should i talk?” you jokingly ask for tom’s permission. “rather you than me,” tom mumbles and presses his lips to your forehead briefly. that sparks more hearts and way more questions. you sit up again to properly adress the half a million people watching you. it’s a fuck ton, definitely not as many as you’d expected.

you’re that popular, huh?

“jeez, there’s a lot of you in here. this is terrifying,” you gasp at the thought, turning to tom. “how do you do this?” “rarely,” he replies and bites back another smile. “i get so stressed.” adjusting yourself so you’re sitting criss cross, you raise your hands in defense. “no, i have too much power right now. i don’t like it.”

“you sound like thanos,” tom decides, bursting into a fit of giggles when you shove at his arm. you then kiss your hand and tap his cheek with it to make up. his skin is warm. “anyways. i guess i’ll, like, introduce myself? i’m y/n.” the fans are cracking up at you two, others dropping the soft eyes emoji. tom makes that same face at you in real time.

“that’s about it. um,” you let out a laugh. “i don’t know. thanks for having me and being pretty nice so far.” he keeps gazing at you while you link your arm in his, your head on his shoulder again. “keep being nice because tom will cry or something if you aren’t.” he’s looking at you with literal heart eyes, a small smile on his lips, listening to your every word.

“seriously though, i hope you guys like me. you seem pretty cool. we-“ you cut yourself off when more comments than earlier spam the screen. “what happened?” you pick up tom’s phone to read them. they alert you of his heart eyes, so you put his phone back down and see for yourself. his small smile becomes a toothy one.

“aw, tommy,” you coo, rubbing your nose against his, tom pecking your lips. “doing good, love.” he can’t help himself. he doesn’t have to anymore. everyone starts shouting iterations of she called him tommy and they kissed, but you’re both caught up in each other at the moment.

by high demand, you join tom for another live soon after this one.

[h2bakugou]

🍀 hello! I have a suggestion

How would the class 1 a boys react to you both getting recognized in public as "the secret class 1 a couple?!" And seeing it on the news or social media, Before yous are dating. Hope this makes sense 💖

a/n: hi!! this is super cute! i decided to do a bunch of the boys from 1-a, i didn’t get to do all of them, but this is certainly a cute idea!!

headcanon: them reacting to news of being a couple before they’re actually a couple

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: fluff, swearing

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

It happens during a training battle with class 1-B. 

It’s just a little get together, the two classes joining for some competitive training.

You’re working with Bakugou since he tolerates you the most, which he would gladly chose you over Beavis and Butt-Head Kirishima and Kaminari.

He also has a crush on you but that’s a secret teehee.

You got one on him too so don’t act all innocent.

But of course, Monoma happens to be one of the members of the group you face off with.

He’s just messing with you, teasing you. Calling you pet names like Angel or Honey.

He’s doing it ‘cause it clearly pisses Bakugou off.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners, flirting with your significant other.” Monoma apologizes as he slaps Bakugou’s shoulder, activating his quirk.

“We’re not dating!?” You yell as you charge at the blonde that isn’t your crush.

“So you mean the entire class has been lying to me?” Monoma pouts.

After training, Bakugou asks you out, stating he’d been thinking of doing it sooner but he had been caught up with staying top of the class-

He was most certainly jealous.

»»————-　★　————-««

izuku midoriya

»»————-　★　————-««

HIS MOM. PLEASE. IT’S HIS MOM AND ALL MIGHT THAT ARE LIKE YOOO CONGRATS ON yOU TWO GETTING TOGETHER.

Like legit, Deku’s in some parent-teacher conference and All Might is like ‘many things are blossoming, such as young love.’

And his mom is just like ‘finally you and y/n got together, about damn time.’

And Deku’s just like ????? IM SORRY????////

Literally races over to you and is like

“They think we’re together-”

And you’re just like

“Well damn we should be” *lip bite*

Deku blushes but asks you out on the spot so he doesn’t have to explain to his mom that it wasn’t like that.

Lowkey he had the biggest crush on you and was just really nervous that you were too occupied with studies to even notice him.

His mom is so proud of him, probably throws him a party or something for your first official date- please i love her 

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

Tell me why I think this fool finds out about the whole ‘secret couple’ thing from Dabi-

It’s just so bad that it’s absolutely perfect.

Tell me that this crispy ass patchwork villain would not take every opportunity to tease Shoto.

“So you came here to fight me with your true love? Perhaps romance isn’t dead.”

Literally about to light his ass on fire and Shoto’s just frozen-yeah go on laugh I know you want too-and just stares at this dude like??? 

come again? pardon?

Deadass looks over at you and just raises an eyebrow.

“I think he thinks we’re a couple.” You fill in the blanks and Todoroki eventually nods.

“Well yes, they are indeed my true love, but I think this might be a bit extreme for a first date. Perhaps when we’re done beating your ass, I can take them out for dinner.”

chivalry isn’t dead *heart eye emojis*

»»————-　★　————-««

denki kaminari

»»————-　★　————-««

Honestly with the flirty comments you litter under each other’s social media posts, google probably be recommended y’all relationship stuff, those little heart lamp message things, matching necklaces, technology was dropping all the hints.

No but Kirishima probably just assumes you’re together when Kaminari brings you along to one of the mall trips they usually go on.

“Dude you finally asked them out, sick, took you long enough.” 

Cue red Kaminari. Man is a tomato. Like he just turns to you shaking throwing a thumbs up.

“Awe, you like me?” You give him a hug and kiss his cheek, shoving your hand in his.

“Yeah, totally, I mean who wouldn’t.” Kaminari is back to being smug, he’s got a pretty person’s hand in his own he is now taken JSFSJFJ

He will literally be in debt to Kirishima for getting the two of you together. Like he’s deadset on somehow repaying Kirishima.

»»————-　★　————-««

eijiro kirishima

»»————-　★　————-««

Two words. Katsuki Bakugou.

Kirishima is super sweet, like I just see him doing a bunch of really nice stuff for you, helping you carry things to your dorm, or like maybe doing your hair if you asked.

Bakugou is extremely observant and will just watch how y’all act but like he’s finally so tired of watching you act like a couple. He knows you two have to be a thing so why hasn’t Kirishima mentioned it.

WHY IS BKAUOGU MAD THAT KIRISHIMA IS LIKE NOT SAYING HE”S TAKEN DUDE FKSFKSJI JUST KNOW HE WOULD BE SJFSKFSJK

“We get it you’re together! Just cut the sappy shit already!” Bakugou snaps randomly one day because you’re just sitting in his lap because all the couch seats are taken.

Your cheeks burn and Kirishima’s face turns the same crimson color as his hair.

“Dude we’re-”

“Friends.” You finish, but there’s a hint of sadness.

“You certainly don’t act like. Fucking ask each other out already goddamn.”

Do what he boss says.

Kirishima brings you pretty flowers and asks you out, literally taking you on a date when you say yes, god he’s so sweet love him kiss kiss.

»»————-　★　————-««

tenya iida

»»————-　★　————-««

Honestly, I think Aizawa’s gonna just have to lecture Iida on social cues. ‘Cause Iida may seem like he’s just being a good class rep, but walking you to and from class, carrying your bag, and tucking hair behind your ear are most certainly beyond what classifies as ‘class rep behavior.’

A bunch of students from class 1-a are gonna be really suspicious, whispering around, making plans to try and catch it happening.

Sure enough, Iida’s carrying your bag as you walk back toward the dorm building, your pinkies just barely touching, before you finally heave a sigh and interlock yours with his.

Kaminari can’t hold in his excitement, congratulating the navy-haired class rep on scoring such a hottie.

“I’m confused, you’re congratulating me-”

“Because you finally asked (y/n) out!” Iida just turns red and stares at you.

“No no, I think you may have misinterpreted!”

“Really? On god? Just like that?” You pout, lowering your head.

“No! I...” 

Iida quite literally has to prove he likes you by kissing you in front of the class. Guess it’s not really a secret anymore.

»»————-　★　————-««

hanta sero

»»————-　★　————-««

Much like Kirishima, Bakugou and/or Kaminari and/or Kirishima play a big role in ‘exposing’ the two of you.

Late nights in each other’s dorm playing video games?

Wearing each other’s sweaters?

Picnics and walks together?

Yeah try convincing off-brand pikachu, red robin, and the fitness gram pacer test you’re not together.

the fitness gram pacer test bit sounded much better in my head but i didn’t really have any other funny nickname for bakugou other than johnny test which made about as much sense as the fitness gram pacer test.

“Yo we’re going to the mall!” Kaminari is the first to spill the plans for the weekend.

“Oh shoot alright-”

“I meant us. Don’t you have a date with (Y/n)?” Kaminari points to the rest of the group, excluding you and Sero who sat side by side, under a knitted blanket.

“Uhm, Kaminari we’re-”

“Oh no, I know you like them.” Kaminari leans in really close to Sero’s face before squishing his cheeks and turning him to face you.

“I’m so sorry.” Sero whispers to you.

You roll your eyes and lean over, planting a kiss on his cheek, earning a few cheers from Mina and Kaminari who pretty much played matchmaker.

Sero takes you out on a date when they plan to go to the mall, but it was really all a ruse to spy on you on your date.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist