#because of vampire booba

[the-muffin-master]

I'm not gonna try to pretend this isn't ENTIRELY self-indulgent. life's been so stressful all I want is to draw the vampire man destroying my dumb bard. I'm devastated I have to censor this one in particular because those are some quality boobas y'all are missing out on

if you're interested in more tavstarion content you might want to see 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

[emolionsrawr]

do you ever panic run into a lift because a nine foot big booba vampire is gate keeping the way you need to go and when you try to leave she chases you back to the lift, no? just me? okay

[zombiedeers]

Posting these for @xx-cupid-xx01 because tumblr is a bitch and not letting him post photos

First up Bob hcs, and vampire Bob both in his normal clothes and in an outfit that Rick whited in his pants over which I can confirm

"Man I sure do love sitting with my boyfriend- WAIT- HORNY, OH GOD-"

Rick knows exactly what he's doing with Bob's tail there Bob loaf Bob loaf Bob loaf Bob loaf Bob loaf Bob loaf B LIVE RICK REACTION

[em-bandaid-boy]

So I've seen the end of re village now

Apphh I rewatched a playthrough of this game and I still can't tell if I like Ethan bc of the one-liners or bc we share a name.

Also I still have no idea what color his shirt is supposed to be but I made it kinda yellow so that's that

[clownaddict]

I’m just going to do a quick rant about a certain anime because mAN

<Arifureta, from commonplace to the worlds strongest> must be the most infuriating anime I ever watched. The main character is whiny and unlikable in the beginning before he gets almost murdered after which he becomes even whinier and more unlikable, but with your average isekai MC power-scaling fuckery that makes him more or less immortal and able to fart out miracles left and right regardless of the situation.

The main premise of the entire series is “guy is so strong that everyone with two X chromosomes in a 5 mile radius wants to suck his dick” and the first addition to the harem is an immature vampire that honestly acts like an entitled little brat to everyone else in the party except for the MC, who she constantly talks about having babies with. I am not exaggerating when I say that is the literal only thing she talks about. Fucking the main character and being a bitch to everyone else.

Second addition is a bunny woman who I’m just calling “Tits MCgee”  because that is her entire role, to be stupid and have the camera focus on her enormous rack every single fight-scene.

Third is a perverted dragon that (of course) is female and spends 99% of the time in her humanoid big booba lady form and we got introduced to her by the main character literally non-consentually shoving a huge metal spike up her ass. (I wish I was joking. I am not). This turned her on so much she decided to join the party.

Fourth is MC’s original crush before he got almost murdered and she’s about as useful as a spoon made out of mesh. She spends most of her time failing to do anything useful and gets bullied by the aforementioned vampire lady as well as the MC after he realized she was useless as well. MC literally had a scene where he tells her she’s fucking useless and having her around is dead weight. Why is she staying if no one in the party likes her? Fuck do I know. Probably because she wants to suck MC’s dick despite the fact that he hates her now?

And last but not least we now also have a LITERAL CHILD they found in a slave market (of course there is a slave market, otherwise it couldn’t be a modern isekai, right?) who’s “fatherly affection” towards the MC is a LITTLE SUSPICIOUS and yes. The vampire is jealous. of the literal child. because the child is close to MC. AN ACTUAL GROWN WOMAN IS JEALOUS AT A LITERAL CHILD. ok thanks got it off my chest please spare yourself the headache and don’t watch this anime ok thanks for coming to my TED talk bye

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

Since Halloween is here. Which it is, don’t question it.

I have this tradition to watch Markiplier’s outlast let’s play. Classic let’s play, and I have been thinking about adding resident evil the village.

Ya know, because big tall sexy vampire lady with huge boobas and big ass.

Hey, I’m not ashamed of saying that Lady Dimitrescu is amazing rack and thicc ass.

Like look at her!

One Year Later and I am still simping.

The power and the sex! Yes!!!

Soooooo I may starting this soon, because it’s one my favorite let’s play by Mark, it’s funny and I get see her again.

[nekotato]

tanz der vampire is so good because like vampires. gay vampires. big booba. pathetic shaking wet sack of a protagonist. gothic aesthetic. girlboss. carpe noctem. 

[maggyoutthere]

Y'know what smol rant

Everyone got angry/annoyed about how in Sonic Heroes Neo Metal Sonic turned into that dragon-like final boss? Like whaaaaa a robot turning into a dragon thing?? Omg it's so cringy-

Uhm-

Y'all wanna

run that thought by me again? Because-

It did not age well.

If a 9ft tall big booba vampire lady can turn into a dragon like monster and no one says a word and even gets horny out of it I think a robot dragon isn't that much of a stretch.

[anxiety-isnt-bad-babes]

heya, I'm just curious as to your main headcanons for the Alcithan ship? it's always so nice to see different people's interpretations of characters and their dynamics between each other so I'd be lovely to hear your input as well 😊

Ay yo! Let's do this!

Okay, SO most of my Alcithan headcanons fluctuate dependent upon the universe in which they exist. There are some little quirks that are the same regardless of setting/universe, so I'll start with those and go from there. Long post below the cut!

Main Headcanons:

1. Alcina is touch-starved as hell. She grew up as a sickly, female member of a noble family. She's touch-starved; I don't make the rules. The first time Ethan cuddles her, she goes stiff as a board and then straight-up MELTS into the contact.

2. Ethan's favorite thing is to sit with Alcina while she reads a book and play with her hair. He's like a little kid. Plays with individual curls, watches them bounce, slides them between his fingers. Alcina very distinctly Does Not Mind.

3. They are Very Good Parents. They love their hellspawn children, baby or fly or whatever weird combination of the two Daniela is. Alcina is the marshmallow about everything except manners (because manners are Very Important), whereas Ethan tends to be more of the disciplinarian. It's a balancing act when the family first blends, but they soon find their groove.

4. Ethan has Night Terrors. Alcina is his touchstone when he wakes up from one, and she gets very, very good at soothing him quickly.

5. Booba. Ethan loves using it as a pillow. That is all.

Now. . . . ONWARD TO STORY-SPECIFICS!

Rise of Mars

1. Alcina doesn't hate men per-say. She uses anger and disgust to veil what is a deep, unadulterated fear of not being good enough. She is the eldest child to a noble family but is still not nearly so favored as her younger brother. It causes severe issues.

2. Ethan absolutely HATES the word "whore". His full backstory still hasn't been revealed in-story, but suffice to say his mother was a prostitute, and he grew up poor and mean and abused by those around him. It's a hatred that's stayed for nearly 100 years.

3. Alcina LOVES babies. Any babies. All the babies. She's one of those people that infants, small children, and adolescents all take one look at this woman and go, "yes, this is someone I trust" and Alcina just fuckin runs with it. The type to pick up a random kiddo making grabby hands. Chanel? Prada? Gucci? We don't care, pick up that muddy baby.

4. Ethan gives The Best Hugs. Alcina spends a grand chunk of her time snuggled against his chest reading. Likewise, it's his favorite place for Alcina to be because he can just. . . hold her. He protecc.

5. Ethan considers Alcina his Mate. The Cadou implantation made him a bit more animalistic than canon!Alcina is, and so he's a bit possessive, a bit clingy, but ultimately protects that woman with his LIFE.

6. Alcina's mother is a bitch. This has given her anxiety and a massive inferiority complex + jealousy.

7. Ethan was a bit of a playboy before his girls came into the picture. This is Important. Because Alcina is Everything and he is most certainly Ashamed of that period in his life.

Unexpected Family

1. Alcina is actually half-vampire; daughter of a Pureblooded man and vampire woman. Her mother left pretty much immediately after her birth. She and her father were actually very close until his death, and she is Very Much Spoiled because of this.

2. Ethan is an American exchange teacher to Hogwarts. He teaches Muggle Studies. His first day at Hogwarts, he takes one look at Alcina, blushes bright red, and promptly walks into a wall. Very smart, but also so very, very dumb.

3. They get together because Bela is a Very Nervous Baby, and they got much closer working out ways to make her first year more tolerable.

4. Alcina is 9'6" because of a magical accident in her sixth year. She gets a lot of flack in pureblood circles because of her half-vampire nature and height. She learns to take it like a champ but it's still a source of insecurity.

5. Ethan was a Chaser in school; Alcina hates Quidditch with a passion because her kids get hurt, dammit.

6. Despite the fact that he went to school in Ilvermorny, he is the Hufflepuffiest Hufflepuff that ever puffed. So pure. So loyal. We stan. Alcina is a Slytherin. She knows this, owns this, but rises above her own shithead nature and treats the children like gold no matter which house they're in. It's an odd match but they love each other and that's what matters.

7. Alcina hates Dumbledore. A lot. He lives in a constant state of existential dread from this 9'6" dragon vampire lady who treats all the kids like her own. She's the Most Loved Professor, and this is a position all students take very seriously.

8. Rosie is their biological child. Every Hogwarts student is now her older sibling. This is not a drill.

9. McGonagall and Snape help the students parent-trap them because they are So Fucking Tired of the pining they do. It's terrible. NO ONE WANTS TO WITNESS A SAD CINA!!

And that's pretty much it! Well, without spoilers, obviously. Thanks so much for asking!!

[nocluewhatsupg]

Slashers ranked by how cracked they would be at fortnite

Justin

Martin Mathias - Would probably be a casual gamer. Plays in his free time, and is generally good at most genres, with a preference for mmos. Is the teammate that never has a mic, but he might warm up to the idea after a while. Brags about his e-girl that doesn’t exist and is him on an alternate account. Gripes about the new Resident Evil (inaccurate vampires!!1!) but has a folder full of tall vampire booba anyway.

Brahms Heelshire- plays Osu! or similar anime styled beat games and never turns off his computer because he doesn trust the saving mechanic. The menu music plays faintly no matter where you are in the mansion. Would be good at fps or even rts games but isn’t into anything that doesn’t have anime girls. Might also be into war tactic games.

Billy Lenz- If he really sat down and focused, he might enjoy complex, single person games that are heavy in plot and story. It’s a film he takes part in. Has surprisingly good aim when his hands aren’t trembling, and could out-swear anyone in a COD lobby. Will ramble to anyone who would listen about the current game he’s playing, with an excited glimmer in his wild eyes. Plays horror games and screams very loud at anything, even if it isn’t scary. Is probably an asshole to the npcs.

Harry Warden- Could also sit down and play whatever. Probably enjoys chill simulation games because every time he loses a match in an mmo a town gets wiped from the map. Doesn’t like nor dislike videogames.

Bubba Sawyer (twitch when??)- ok but he seems like he would be a good streamer. asmr squealing noises as he kicks demon ass in doom or devestates the insect population for his animal crossing museum. questionable morals, but is really kind to the ncps. dresses his character in bright and tacky clothing that don’t fit at all, beside it all being a vomit of eyestrain. he seems to be having fun though so whatever.

Michael Myers- Michael learns to use an assault rifle and John Carpenter gets to make Halloween 360, the night he noscoped back!

Jason Voorhees- Perfers to watch you play, his rotting zombie hands far too large for the controller/keyboard. Plus, he doesn’t really care about all the new, fancy technology. He does, however, insist on earraping the “ch ch ah ah” sound over your mic until you are kicked from the match.

Asa Emory- he is so fucking bad it’s painful. is not interested in learning. if you try to teach him it will go hauntingly similar to when Ninja played fortnite with Ellen Degeneres and he’ll try to annoy you until you give up. Will flex his important entomology degree at your pointless videogame skills. Fucking boomer.

Trash at the game

[cherryvaleska]

slowly but surely driving my friends insane because i will not stop talking about booba sawman (bubba sawyer) and 1980′s homoerotic vampires (the lost boys)

[inconsistentmemes]

sentences taken from here.

“ it looks like your dick has a tie on. ”

“ it’s just hot people dressing weird, and then we’re all at home going ‘ohhh’. ”

“ oh my god there’s so much fabric. ”

“ it looks like something that’ll take two days of my time and that’s what i’m lookin’ for right now. ”

“ i was looking for a couple days busy work, not 600 hours. ”

“ to me that’s a bunch of sticks in a circle. ”

“ you don’t need no jesus. i’m your religion. i’m your god. ”

“ i can’t even imagine how she got into this dress...let alone how she got out of it. ”

“ i own nun-chucks, because...i do. ”

“ ohhhhh matchsticks! yes, yes, yes. ”

“ and that’s what i need to do, i need to be dripping wet. ”

“ it’s 4pm, and that means i am late to my happy hour. ”

“ kissy kissy, mwah...i’m here by myself. ”

“ i got some hats and i have some socks to kind of stuff the buttocks and the boobas. ”

“ a little lumpy but we’re gettin’ somewhere. ”

“ why do i keep turning into a ghost...am i dead? ”

“ how is this happening right now, look at me i’m glowing...like edward cullen. am i a vampire? ”

“ am i a sexy vampire? ”

“ i’m remembering the fun of getting hot glue on your fingers and then having spider webs everywhere. ”

“ you guys were weirdos as kids, you know what i’m talkin’ about. ”

“ wow, wow...holy, heavenly, sing choirs of angels. i look like a whole communion. ”

“ i got some hot glue, and a dream. ”

“ here’s just a hot photo of me bein’ hot. ”

“ this is my bread, my body, and i give it to you. ”

“ important question: do you own a red carpet? ”

“ get your umbrellas ready boys, cause i’m about to rain all over you. ”

[jellyluchi]

So um, I just wanted to share with you a little extra detail that got cut from chapter 1 of Blood and Passion because I know you'll like it. Basically I was gonna describe everyone's clothing in much more detail but cut it because I didn't want the chapter to become a fashion show. But here's what Prosciutto was wearing: A deep navy blue tunic adorned with pearls and intricate patterns sewed with white thread, made to emulate the night sky. The edges in particular would have a whispy pattern sewn in to hide the seam. The tunic also has an opening at the top that frequently comes undone so you can see a little booba.

As for the armour, I cannot understate how over the top it is. The chestplate has the sigils of the armies he's served over the centuries, and has a large sapphire over the heart. The shoulder plates are exaggerated, more like traditional eastern styles of armour than Roman, with strings of gemstones hanging down.

JESS!!!! YOU NEVER MISS LIKE ?!? This is all so spot on for Pros especially the GORGEOUS navy tunic I always did imagine his army's defining color would be navy but omg when I read the actual description for his armor I kinda imagined the ones that the Roman soldiers were wearing in night at the museum movie 💀

It's killing me though that despite being a vampire he wears all this armour around even though it's beautiful he really said "I don't care for regular vampire aesthetics you WILL know my heritage" which is so cute 😂 I can't even imagine how intricate the armor must be with literal jewels in there + the open booba underneath from the tunic? Damn...

[totallyjazzed]

ending the goth booba endulgence because this vampire one makes me unreasonably happy