#because my exams are bad for my sanity

[a-sunset-outside-my-window]

fic rec friday

The Teacher

by SpaceWall on Ao3

Dumbledore hires Remus Lupin as a teaching assistant for Defence Against the Dark Arts. To everyone’s surprise, he isn’t fired, maimed, murdered, or otherwise removed from the job. Severus Snape does not approve of this development.

--

“Here to pick up your friend?” Aberforth demanded, tapping a glass with his wand and setting it sparkling clean.

“Not my friend,” Severus said, just as Lupin said,

“Haven’t got any friends.”

Hm, yes I am currenly back to being obsessed with the 'older' tropes, so get ready for this amazingly written fix-it taking place around philosophers stone.

favourite tropes included are:

fix-it

enemies to friends

Remus is the DADA Professor

exept not really

adults actually being helpfull? (it's more likely than you think)

Sirius gets out of Azkaban

we care about the kids here

they get taken seriously siriusly

as always, leave lots of love and kudos to the author and have an amazing rest of the week <3

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。GOODBYE KISS — GOJO SATORU. (rich boy! au)

contents. college! au, rich boy! gojo, established relationships, morning cuddles wif toru <3, morning tantrums with toru too lol, ft. our fav: momjo !!

satoru’s head is on your chest as he snores softly—normally, you adore the feeling of him so close to you, but right now, it’s five minutes until your wake-up-for-real-this-time-or-you’re-late alarm will go off. you’ve already hit snooze on the other six—how satoru’s slept through them all is a mystery to you.

you peer down at him, watching the way his lips are parted as soft breaths escape him in gentle sighs. his hair is messy over his forehead, and the sun makes his skin glow in that way only satoru could glow. you sigh, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, and as if he feels the affection in his sleep, he hums a little while still unconscious.

too bad you’ll have to break this peace in just a moment.

and this is going to work out poorly—you already know that. if you move from under satoru, he’ll wake up. if he wakes up, he’ll realize you’re trying to leave. if he realizes you’re trying to leave, he’ll have a meltdown. if he has a meltdown, he’ll surely win and convince you to stay. if you stay, you’ll miss class and fall behind on the notes. if you fall behind on the notes, you’ll procrastinate on catching up. if you procrastinate on catching up, you’ll know absolutely nothing by the time the next exam rolls around. if you know nothing by the time the next exam rolls around, you’ll have multiple mental breakdowns and lose yourself to stress the night before as you cram all in one sitting.

simply put, your entire grade resides on the fact that satoru is currently sleeping on your chest, and he definitely won’t let you leave.

you try anyway—and just as you suspect, you fail.

“huh? wha—where are you going?” he groans, rubbing his eyes as he blinks them open. “wait a sec—baby no,” he whines.

“shh, toru, you’re dreaming,” you kiss his forehead, “i’m not actually leaving.”

“i’m not stupid!”

“shhh, your dream is tricking you,” you insist, “i’m still right under you.”

“you can’t gaslight me! i’m not falling for your tricks,” he huffs, “how gullible do you think i am?”

very, you want to say—but that would be a bad idea.

“you’re not stupid at all, toru,” you say sweetly, “you’re the smartest man i’ve ever met.”

“this is definitely not a dream because you’re even meaner to me in my dreams,” he raises a brow, “dream you would never be this nice.”

“what do you mean i’m mean in your dreams?” you gasp. you’re not mean to satoru—you wouldn’t have to yell at him if he just behaved half the time.

“they’re more like nightmares,” he huffs, “last one, you made me sleep outside. that was rude.”

“how could you dream me being a jerk?” you ask, offended—and before he can answer, your wake-up-for-real-this-time-or-you’re-late alarm blares.

satoru glances down at your phone and stares for a moment—and then he flops back against his pillow as he whines miserably.

“don’t leave,” he begs, “please, just skip this one class for me? i get so cold in the mornings,” he pouts.

“then put a shirt on,” you sigh.

“i’ll be lonely!”

“not if i’m bullying you in your dreams, apparently.”

“baby, i can’t sleep without something to cuddle,” he tries again—that one almost makes you cave. you have to admit that cuddling isn’t something you enjoy passing on either, but class is important. more important than class is your sanity that you would like to keep intact instead of lose while cramming six chapters in one night.

“cuddle my pillow,” you sigh, “satoru, please. i’m already late.”

“just this once, okay? i won’t ask again,” he says innocently, his eyes wide and pleading as they peer up at you.

“you said that last time.”

“last time i crossed my fingers,” he winks, “so it didn’t count. so now you have to—”

“goodbye, satoru,” you mumble.

he slumps in defeat, grumbling under his breath before rolling over to turn his back to you petulantly. you sigh, rolling your eyes—though fondly, before you head to the bathroom, getting ready for the day.

by the time you’re out, satoru has fallen asleep again—you know it’s because he’s stayed up late again to play video games with suguru. because you don’t want to disturb him from his much needed sleep (and because you don’t want to risk waking up him and dealing with another tantrum), you decide to gently pull the blankets over his bare chest and skip the goodbye kiss.

it won’t be a big deal if he doesn’t get a kiss goodbye while he’s asleep, right? he won’t even be awake to notice.

evidently, you realize in the middle of class that you’re wrong. very wrong.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤToday, 8:32 AM

baby boy 💋:

you left without a goodbye kiss???????????

are you ignoring me????????????

baby

sweetheart

sunshine

angel

peaches

i know you’re reading this.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤToday, 8:41 AM

mrs. gojo ❤️:

please answer satoru. i really don’t want a headache today

this is very short and silly sorry. anyway rip momjo she deal with too much that boy is a handful

[ellecdc]

hello love! I just, like, devoured all your writings today and idk if your requests are open, but I really like seer!reader and I was wondering if I could request one with poly!marauders where reader is a slytherin and she has a vision of befriending them or being in a relationship with them?

I’d imagined she thinks it’s a silly vision at first but the more she sees the boys (as she’s friends with Regulus so is bound to run into them with him), the visions occur more and more until she finally has an official interaction with them and officially meets them.

Idk if that’s too complicated/confusing, if so, you don’t have to write it obviously 😅.

I love Seer reader!!! thanks for your request lovie <3

please note: my requests are currently closed as I finish exams and work through the requests that I currently have.

poly!marauders x Seer Slytherin fem!reader who Sees a relationship with them

“Tell me again why I have to sit at the Gryffindor table for lunch?” You protested as Regulus all but dragged you to the Great Hall and Barty skipped merrily-on ahead. 

“Because I have to sit at the Gryffindor table for lunch.” He answered gruffly, strengthening his hold on your arm as you faltered in your steps.

“I don’t know, babes; have you ever considered just killing him? You wouldn’t have to reconnect with your estranged brother if he was dead.” Barty offered nonchalantly. 

“For the last time, Barty, I am not killing my brother.”

“A decision we’re all suffering for, apparently.” You muttered petulantly as you entered the Great Hall; chatter and the sounds of cutlery and tableware permeating your senses.

“Don’t worry, Treasure. The faster we eat the faster we can get away.” Barty offered in consolation.

“I am not doing the heimlich on you again, Barty.” You groaned as you followed Regulus towards the wrong side of the Great Hall.

“Come on, they’re not that bad.” Regulus tried.

You and Barty both stopped to give him unimpressed glares.

“Lupin’s not that bad.” He corrected.

“Yeah, and then he ruins that by the company he keeps.” You grumble as you plopped yourself down unceremoniously at the Red and Gold table across from your three lunch dates for the day.

Listen, you were all for being a good friend, a supportive friend; you would die for Regulus Black.

You’re not sure that support extended to willingly eating lunch with Gryffindor’s. 

But Regulus was determined to mend his relationship with his brother before Sirius graduated, Barty went just about anywhere Regulus went, and apparently you were single-handedly responsible for Regulus’ general sanity when it came to his brother and Barty.

“Hello Reggie!” Sirius called quickly.

“Don’t call me that.”

“What am I supposed to call you?” His brother bit back slightly less brightly. 

“I call him sugar tits but I don’t think that’s universal.” Barty offered as he started loading up his plate.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Junior.” James offered cautiously.

“I bet it is, Potter.”

Sirius sighed as if he’d been dealing with the likes of toddlers all morning and not 37 seconds of Barty Crouch Junior. “The polite thing to say would be ‘it’s nice to see you too, James’.”

Barty froze with his fork half way to his mouth as he furrowed his brows at Sirius. “No it wouldn’t; it’s not polite to lie, Black.”

“I brought another friend you can try to converse with.” Regulus spat hastily.

“Pretend I’m not here; that’s what I’m doing.” You sighed as you resigned yourself to your fate.

“Well, this is off to a good start.” Remus said with a smirk as he flipped a page in his book. 

You did suppose Lupin was the least…abrasive of him and his boyfriends. You’d had a chance to get to know him last year during prefect rounds; and while you didn’t appreciate how much he let his fellow Marauders get away with, he was relatively nice. In fact, if he had been in any house other than Gryffindor, you may have given him a chance. 

His boyfriend’s, though?

You’d rather take your chances with the Giant Squid than spend your lunch hour with them.

Were they attractive? Sure. You may be contemptuous, but you weren’t blind. 

But they always seemed to be on; there was never a moment of silence with those two nearby, and you often found yourself bracing for impact whenever they were around.

“Looking as smashing as ever, L/N.” James said as he shot you a wink.

Case in point. 

“If I threw a stick, you’d leave right?” You sneered and turned towards your sandwich.

“Nice!” Barty cheered at the same time as Remus muttered “easy kitten; play nice.” 

You started to feel the familiar sensation of your consciousness being pulled elsewhere. It felt as though you were being submerged under cold water, and the neurons firing in your brain were being gently lifted and ushered towards a new reality. 

“What’s wrong dollface?” Sirius asked you earnestly.

You sucked in a shaky breath as you tried to hide the trembling in your hands. “I just don’t feel very good.” You whispered, not trusting your voice to get through a sentence without sobbing.

“Oh, my poor girl. Come here sweets.” He repositioned himself from laying on his stomach to sitting cross legged and opening his arms in invitation.

You quickly accepted his offer and curled up in his lap as he wrapped protective arms around you and began to rock you back and forth.

“You’re okay, dolly. You’re just fine.” He murmured with his lips pressed to your hair line. “D’ya wanna stay here with me and the boys tonight?”

You let out a pathetically embarrassing keening sound as you nodded quickly.

“Okay baby; consider it done.” 

You sucked in a horrified breath as your consciousness returned and you were once again assaulted by the noises of the Great Hall.

Regulus quickly caught the glass of pumpkin juice you’d just nearly toppled and was holding your wrist tightly in his hand.

You thanked the deities for his seeker reflexes and that he seemed to already know what had happened; this was a relatively routine practice between the two of you this far along in your friendship.

“You’re okay.” He offered without even sparing you a glance as he took a napkin with his free hand to clean up what little you’d spilled.

He kept your wrist in his grip; tracking your pulse as he waited for your heart rate to slow down. 

“Was it a good one!?” Barty asked excitedly, alerting you to the fact that it wasn’t just you and Regulus sitting here.

You looked up horrified to see Remus, James, and Sirius all looking at you with various levels of concerns. 

“Was what a good one?” Sirius asked bemusedly. 

Barty scoffed derisively. “She’s a Seer, Black. Fuck, you’re thick.”

“Barty.” Regulus scolded as he turned to offer you his full attention. 

“Are you really?” James asked at the same time as Regulus asked “what did you See?” 

“I have to go.” You muttered breathlessly as you grabbed your things and headed towards the exit.

“No fair! Why does she get to leave and I don’t!?” You heard Barty whine as you pushed through the doors to the courtyard. 

You were going insane, surely. This was just a bout of madness. You needed psychological help, like one of those muggle mind healers. You could not seriously be having Sights of you dating the Marauders.

“Hey L/N!” 

“Fucking hells!” You shrieked as you spun to see Remus and James approaching you, the latter having been the one to call your name.

James still had his ever present smile on his face whilst Remus approached you with slightly more caution.

“Not happy to see us?” Remus asked with a soft smirk across his face.

“I…well,”

Apparently your bumbling was particularly telling to your current mental state, if their furrowed brows and nervous glances to each other were anything to go by.

“No funny quip for us today? You’re not going to tell me that I look like something you could draw with your left hand?” James taunted.

“Go fuck yourself, Potter.” You said with half the amount of derision you’d intended.

“Why? You wanna watch him?” Remus asked.

Okay, everything you ever said about Remus being not as bad as his boyfriends?

Lies.

“For Salazar’s sake, L/N; you sure know how to pick ‘em, huh?” Avery sneered from behind you.

“Speak when you’re spoken to, fuck face.” You barked back.

Avery only scoffed in response. 

“Hanging out with Baby Black and his crazy pet that follows him around wasn’t enough; you had to sully yourself with the likes of Gryffindor’s?” Mulciber continued for him. 

“You know, I’d be mad too if I looked like someone who has fallen for every MLM scam known to mankind.” James spat; his face taking on a severity you’d never seen from the notoriously sunny-dispositioned boy.

You wondered what else you hadn’t seen from him.

You made a rather hasty and embarrassing retreat after that gave you some…inappropriate thoughts.

You’d been plagued with more Sights since then, having been avoiding them after more images of them fussing and fawning over you (and - perhaps more horrifyingly - you over them), and then out-and-out hiding from them after a particularly… steamy Sight you had.

“You cannot hide in the Slytherin common room forever, Treasure.” Barty sighed as he plopped down beside you on the couch and rested his head on your shoulder.

“Why not?”

“Because Regulus gave them the password to the common room.”

“He what!?” You shrieked as the door opened and in spilled three Gryffindors and one Slytherin. 

“There you are, angel!” James cheered as he quickly made his way towards you.

Already with the pet names!?

“Did you really think you could hide from us, dollface?” Sirius winked as he and James took the settee across from you (causing a few younger year Slytherin’s to quickly vacate the area).

“Regulus, how could you?” You seethed at your now ex-friend. 

“I’m tired of Barty bailing on me to hide out here with you. Also, I’m not a house elf and will no longer be bringing you your meals.”

You pouted at him before a surprised yelp left your lips as you were lifted up from your seat.

Remus took your place on the sofa and placed you in the space between his thighs.

“Lupin! What are you doing!?”

“Making your dreams come true, gorgeous.” Sirius answered for you.

“They’re not dreams, you absolute mumpsimus. They’re visions of the future.” Barty sneered.

“Even better then.” James continued as he now pulled a scowling Sirius into his side. “We’re starting our future together.”

“You told them!?” You asked Regulus disbelievingly.

“Well you weren’t going to.” 

“That was the point!”

“Easy there, dove.” Remus whispered into your ear, causing a shiver to rack through you as your body traitorously melted further into Remus’ embrace. 

The only way out of this was clearly going to be the death of you (via Remus’ smoothness, James’ loveliness, and Sirius’ boldness), their murders (at your hands), or stupidly drunk in love.

You weren’t sure which option was worse.

[rinnstars]

impressing you!

itoshi rin attempts to tell you he likes you in questionable ways

itoshi rin x reader : fluff, crack, use of brain rot terms, dti mentioned, super bad ending i’m so sorry idk anymore school got me, not proofread + likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

growing up with itoshi rin with all his personality quirks, you were pretty sure you could expect anything and everything from him - whether that be him showing up at your house at midnight without any warnings, or him wearing your hello kitty pajamas after school for ‘fun’, or even eating frozen cheese straight out of the fridge for breakfast. but nothing could prepare you for what the hell he just asked you.

“what.” one chance for him to take back, or more so one chance for you to regain back your sanity from whatever you just swore to god he asked.

“.. i asked if you’d like to play dress to impress together.. you know because youre always playing it during class.” what the hell.

maybe the world was ending, and you look outside only to now be even more dismayed that the sun is in fact shining, the sky is perfectly blue, and there was no cloud in sight. then maybe this was all a dream after spending the previous night playing games, you pinch yourself and to your horror, you do in fact feel the pain as you nip at your own hand, almost yelping to the oblivious rin sitting beside you. or maybe your eyesight is failing you and you’re seriously deluding yourself that its rin simply after being apart from him for months, you think, removing your glasses and wiping it and nope - that was in fact rin, still wearing a blank face that youre far too used to.

“do you even have a roblox account..” you were 100% sure that whatever horror games you’ve seen him play does not involve roblox and he’s probably more likely to be a discord mod than a roblox player - credited to you friending him on steam and seeing the horror of games he has bought on that app

“.. ill make one now.” and you think maybe blue lock has actually rotted rin’s mind or maybe his friends there has corrupted the rin you once knew.

and instead of spending your math class, you know paying attention and doing the work assigned, there you were at the back row playing dress to impress with itoshi rin attempting his best but clearly not dressing to impress anyone to say the least.

and maybe this is a miracle and an awakening because you were so sure since a little kid that itoshi rin, your best friend in this entire world, do not have any weakness - whether that be in sports (for obvious reasons), in arts (getting an A even though he ‘winged it’), in games (carried you in shooting games and horror games) that maybe you’ve finally discovered his achilles heels that is apparently fashion.. and handling getting humbled by kids on roblox.

“why the hell is this kid calling my outfit skibidi toilet” if anything, in your honest reaction, you’d call me something worst than that looking at the total mess of a outfit he was wearing because why the hell is he wearing two hairs at once that do not merge at all. in fact, you’d be polite to even call whatever he’s just made an outfit in the first place because it looks like he genuinely spun a wheel and picked pieces at random.

even funnier is that you can practically see rin’s ear letting out steam - clearly upset that he’s apparently not winning the top place. if anything, you think its funnier because he doesnt even rage like this playing his competitive shooting game, or when he doesnt get a good grade for his exams, or even when he drops his ice cream when you were little, only when he plays soccer and apparently dress to impress. now maybe with his ego, or whatever he said learnt at blue lock, would be able to let him score a goal (win top place with a good outfit)

however, to his dismay, and to your expectation, he in fact does not win top places, not even top 3, by the end of the hour long math lesson.

and to him, he practically just lost the first tip that bachira told him and as he quotes “if you like someone you’ve got to like have shared interest right?” and clearly and unfortunately he just cannot get into dress to impress in the same way that you just aren’t really interested in football which he completely gets. but now he’s in doubt about his own situation and by that he means the love test percentage thing he was convinced to take by again bachihara - failing at a whooping 15% that he was meant to be your soulmate. but if there’s something he’s good at, its perseverance and he will not give up just because multiple kids in the game called him skibidi toilet

and right now he thinks hes absolutely down bad and he is only proving the allegations that he really has a crush on you when hes spending time after football practice to play dress to impress. even worse, hes looking up online guides on “cheatsheets” to get outfits, entering millions of codes to unlock hidden items, spending the entire night playing this game.

and of course, its at 4:30am when you log in only to find one person playing dress to impress and youre pretty sure this is the equivalant to a sleep paralysis demon as you blink all the sleep away in your eyes to confirm the words in front of you: itoshi rin is playing dress to impress in the middle of the night. more specifically, itoshi rin who preaches about taking care of ones body by sleeping early, eating all three meals, doing yoga every single day is ruining his sleep scheuldue for a roblox game. and as all sleep deprived people do, you send him a message to confirm that its in fact him and not a hacker.

chat

you: r u playing dti or have u not logged out of dti since class 😭😭

rin: playing

you: R U ACTLLY INTO DRESS TO IMPRESS… who r u impressing 🙏🏻🙏🏻

rin: you

and you feel your heart stop - and not because of caffeine, or another realisation that yoive forgotten to do your work right in class or winning a lucky draw from the ice cream you share with rin. but then the realisation hits and youre now instead let down because of course sleep deprived him would say such words that unfortunately made your heart pump because of all the years you’ve known him, you know that whenever he doesnt sleep well, he always becomes a different person, spouting nonsense about everything and anything as all the logic that he’s so used to melts away from his brain. and so you without thinking close your phone and leave itoshi rin on read.

and maybe its even worse that when you wake up, you realise rin sends you the number of stars he’s collected over his overnight grind that’s somehow more than the amount you’ve gathered throughout the weeks of playing dress to impress and even funnier because he’s clearly texting the wrong person.

chat

rin: (1 attachement)

rin: is this a good rank bachiara

rin: should i check if mine n y/n’s soulmate on that love website increased

you: shld be 100%

rin: from 15%?

you: i’m more accurate than it btw r u still on dti

rin: ?

rin: oh ignore

you: no lets play tgt actlly vote me 5* i need to have more stars than u

and you can’t wait to go to math class to play dress to impress with rin at the back of the class (spoiler alert: he won all the rounds somehow) now dating (he gives you five stars)

[holybibly]

Personally, I think we don't talk about Professor Choi San enough, don't you?

I don't like Mondays, but I like San, and this is just what I need to start the week sinfully.

"You've been behaving very badly lately, Y/N." The voice of your literature professor sounds light-hearted, as if he's talking to you about a fun game rather than an exam that you already failed three times. Besides, you have committed a number of other offences that could have earned you a reprimand, and Professor Choi seems to take every opportunity to remind you. "Skipping classes, constantly getting bad grades, and a generally destructive attitude..." He lists, turning to the blackboard to erase today's topic: "Sins and desires in Dante's Inferno." It was almost impossible not to look at his firm, toned ass, wrapped tightly in the fabric of his trousers. He reached for a particularly large inscription on the board. "For lack of a better term." He says this, turning to meet you, and the expression on his face tells you he notices where you're looking.

You lower your head in embarrassment, avoid making eye contact with him, and pull your skirt down a little.

"You and I both know that we've tried just about everything we could to correct your inappropriate behaviour." Professor Choi says this as you continue to look down in guilt as he walks over to you and slightly loosens the tight knot of his tie around his long, freckled neck. There was something about the way he was able to make such simple things seem so incredibly sexy, with no subtext at all, that made your stomach tingle. You'd be lying if you said you couldn't picture him tightening the tie around you and putting you on a leash as you rode his cock. "You were detained, suspended, counseled..." He stops in front of you, and you can smell his scent—something heavy and dark, like amber and whisky—or sex. God, you thought you couldn't be more despairing, but apparently Choi San was designed to destroy your sanity. "There is only one way that I can think of to solve this problem." He says. Professor Choi brings his hand to your chin, his fingers surprisingly cold, but the metal of his ring is hot on your skin as he gently raises your head to meet his feline eyes.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you stare into the handsome face of the man. If you didn't know better, you'd say Professor Choi's face was hand-carved by the finest Renaissance sculptors, because it's hard to believe that those sharp, perfect lines were created by something as trivial as genetics. He raises a questioning eyebrow and watches your reaction like a predator waiting for you to fall into his trap. Without realising it, you give him what he wants, nodding obediently to his words, your lips parting slightly.

"You have behaved very badly, and to correct this you must obediently follow what I tell you. Do you understand me, or not?" This could be your only chance to back out, but instead you look up at him through the lace of fluffy eyelashes with wide, innocent eyes.

"I do, Professor Choi."

His eyes grow darker and more predatory than they were before.

"I'd like you to bend down over my desk. Now." Professor Choi commands, and you obey immediately, throwing your bag on the floor and resting your forearms on his desk, facing the perfectly clean board. You can feel the fabric of your pleated skirt lift a little and slide higher up your thighs, exposing the delicate ruffled panties made of silk.

You hear Professor Choi move in behind you and feel his sinewy hands sliding down your sides in a teasing way to your hips before he pushes one hand down your lower back until your chest is pressed up against his desk. You support yourself with your arms, your plump tits falling out of the cups of your bra, and your hard, swollen nipples rubbing against the lace of the bra. You hear the rustle of fabric, and when you lift your head to look, San slaps your thigh so hard that you jerk at the impact, and your skin is instantly red.

"You better not move." He says it with a growl and puts his hand in front of your face. "Open your mouth for me." The tie that he has rolled up ends up in your mouth as soon as you open your lips—an effective gag. It's elegant, just like Professor Choi himself.

"Right now there are many other students here, obedient students who listen and respect their professors, unlike you, little whore." San whispers in your ear as he presses his chest against your back, his voice dropping several octaves. "We don't want anyone else to know what a whore you really are to me, do we?" His voice is becoming hoarse and sultry, and goosebumps creep across your skin.

A few moments pass in silence as you become more and more lost in the forbidden sensations of Professor Choi's hands as they slowly explore your body. Your eyes open as you feel San's warm breath on your thighs, his hands pulling down your panties, and the silk moving teasingly slowly against your overheated skin. A small stream of sticky liquid drips from your pussy as soon as your underwear is removed, and you hear San hiss at the sight of it.

"Look, you're dripping for me. Do you always feel like this during my classes?" San moans as he blows lightly on your wet folds, and the sensation makes your knees weaken. "Shhh, honey, I'll take care of that little cunt." Suddenly, the tip of his tongue plunges in and slides between your folds, drawing a strip from your little hole to your throbbing clitor. You gasp for air, but the sound is muffled by the gag. Your legs tremble, and Professor Choi slaps your thigh once more, this time stinging you even more on the skin.

"You will learn that lesson next time, but for now, you are going to take everything that I am giving you." You hear more of the rustling, and then, without warning, his cock is thrust into your tight, humid cunt. Your high-pitched moans are muffled by the gag, but San gives a contented, low purr as he pushes deeper and deeper into you until he's completely inside you. You can feel the fabric of his perfectly pressed shirt brushing against your naked skin as his balls slap against your buttocks.

He doesn't hesitate for a second before he pulls his cock out of you completely and immediately plunges back in. He puts his strong hands on your hips to pull you closer to him, your hands desperately gripping the edge of the table to steady yourself. The drawers of his desk rattle every time his dick slams into your pussy and you realise that, despite the gag in your mouth, anyone passing by at that moment would have no doubt as to what was going on inside the room. 

The sensation you are feeling now is so strong, almost overwhelming—the gag restricting your breathing and making your consciousness seem distant and hazy.

Blackened bruises were left on the tender flesh from Professor Choi's firm grip on your soft thighs. The almost painful friction of your breasts against the table and the lace of your bra made you whimper quietly from the rough stimulation, and of course San's cock—thick, warm, and veined—buried itself right into you, striking all the right places with each thrust. 

It was enough to make your toes curl up and your pussy squirt out of control. Your juices were sticky and glistening, sloshing around San's cock with every thrust he gave you. A wet, squelching sound filled the entire space of his office. It mixed with his hoarse moans and your pitiful whimpering, muffled by the thick fabric of his tie stuffed into your mouth.

"You won't come until I say so, you little bitch." San hisses, slapping both your buttocks, but not stopping his thrusting, continuing his cock deep and hard into your plump cunt. You whimper, but of course, not a sound comes out of you. Professor Choi leans over you and pulls his tie out of your mouth. "Say my name, pretty." You gasp for breath, the air burning your lungs, but you obediently follow his command.

"Professor Choi!" You squeal as his hand lands on the reddened skin of your ass once more.

"Say my name, Y/N." He growls, and the meaning of his command finally dawns on your mind, clouded as it is by lust.

"San!" As San pulls your shirt off your shoulders, along with your bra straps, and kisses your skin fiercely, the painful sound of pleasure turns into a prolonged moan.

"That's right, beautiful. Be obedient to me." He begins to fuck you more intensely, the thick head of his cock pressing against your cervix with each hard thrust, and before you can make another high-pitched squeal, San pushes two long fingers into your mouth.

You can feel the drool running down your chin, and you can imagine how dirty you must look right now.

"Fuck, look at you, darling." San moans softly, as if she can read your mind. "You're such a good girl, a perfect student." My little obedient slut." You moan around his fingers, and he reminds you that you can't come without his permission, but you can hardly stand it any longer. There's already so much tension in your stomach, and you know you'll be coming on his thick, long cock any minute.

He lifts his other hand from your hip and presses down on your throat, further interrupting your breathing as he drives you mercilessly into the table and fucks you with all his might. You have no chance to hold on.

"Fuck!" You moan, your juices squirting out with every thrust of his cock, and you squirt around him, coming in profusion with his name on your lips. "San, oh my God!"

He pulls out of you, and you feel your cum dripping down your thighs as you struggle to breathe. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence pass before Professor Choi chuckles darkly. He caresses the sore skin on your bottom.

"I thought I told you not to cum, my little one. I'm afraid it's time for your punishment now." When he speaks, his voice is dangerously calm, full of sugary menace, and yet your hole tightens at what he says. "On your knees, my love. I'm going to fuck your pretty little slutty mouth." You moan and almost fall to your trembling knees as you hurry to do what he asks you to do.

You look at Professor Choi for the first time since he asked you to bend over his desk. Apart from the trousers and boxers that have been pulled down around his hips to expose his thick, throbbing cock that is now right in front of your face, he still looks good—almost damn perfect.

"Fuck, are you going to smear that pretty pink lip gloss all over my dick, darling?" San strokes your hair like you are a kitten. He looks amazing—hair slightly damp with sweat, eyes dark and lustful, biting his plump lower lip as he shoves his thick cock into your mouth until the head hits the back of your throat. You gag on him, instinctive tears leaking from your eyes as he tangles his fingers in your hair, forcing you to swallow more and more of his cock as he goes deeper and deeper with each thrust, sloppily fucking your mouth. Your sticky lip gloss leaves a pink glow on his dick and is probably smeared all over your face, and you can see why this is such a turn-on for San.

Your eyes close as you concentrate on the relaxation of your throat and the rubbing of your tongue along the underside of his heavy cock.

"That's right, such an obedient girl." He moans, and you can feel San's cock pulsing in your mouth; he's about to come. He tightens his grip on your hair, pulling at it as you hear his sharp breathing through his nose. You whimper around his cock, the extra stimulation making him growl with pleasure.

"You're going to swallow every drop of my sperm. Every damn bit of it. Just like the pretty little bitch that you are." San gasps to breathe. You suck in your cheeks, suck hard on the head of his cock, and he curses fiercely. He comes out all the way and cums into your open, waiting mouth, spraying thick cum all over your tongue and some on your cheeks until his orgasm subsides. You swallow obediently, and the warm, bittersweet cum rolls down the back of your bruised throat.

You look up at him through your lashes and stick out your tongue to show him what a good girl you have been for him, swallowing every last bit of it.

San leans over, grabs you by the chin, and pulls you into a dirty, wet kiss. You can't even imagine leaving his office looking like that; you look like a total mess. As soon as Professor Choi lets you go, he brushes the sweaty hair from his forehead, runs his hand through it, and hides his dick in the trousers.

"I hope you've learned how to behave yourself, right?"

"Yes, Professor Choi."

"All right, you can go now." You nod in what you hope is a convincing manner and turn to pick up your knickers from the floor.

He quickly picks them up for you and puts them in one of the drawers on his desk.

"You'll have to come back for another lesson, love, if you want them back.".

"I understand, Professor Choi." You mutter, pulling your skirt down over your hips to cover everything.

You walk out of his office, not missing the way San is smiling at you, admiring the sight of your swaying hips, and you close the door to his office behind you.

You don't have any idea how you will come into his class next Monday.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Hihi! currently dealing with a bout of bad chronic pain and it got me thinking.

Any chance to get a hall mom Thornhill and platonic student reader who has chronic pain. Hurt / all comfort lol.

thornhill makes something to ease the pain using some of her plants in the greenhouse? And maybe she specifically started growing the plants once she learned one of her students suffered from chronic pain?

Please and thank you! Also feel free to change anything up!

Much love from the frog king🐸

Exam Season

Pairings: Thornhill x Reader (platonic)

Word count: 1.6K

Summary: Reader has been in some pain and finally finds a solution.

TW: mentions of drugs, chronic pain, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol

A/n I had so much fun with this one. I did a lot of research through my old medical textbooks so most of it is hopefully accurate.

It was exam season which meant pain, both from studying and well … the chronic kind. And just because you were used to it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Because it did. Badly.

There were a few things that caused pain flare ups for you ever since the car accident you were in a few years ago. Of course, one of the two was stress which was assured with exam season and the second was disrupted sleep patterns and with all the late-night study sessions that was another thing you could check off the mental triggers list. But it's not like you couldn’t study. You needed to. You prided yourself on it. Your family name was all you had left of your parents. They, unlike you did not survive the crash. So you used the fear of being nobody with no home as a drive, to work. To be someone worth something.

The light was on in your dorm once again as Ms Thornhill made the rounds before going to bed herself. Ophelia hall had few rooms where there was only one student. You had been lucky enough to be one of them. So she knew you were awake. But the light had been on four nights in a row now. Surely that was getting a little bit excessive. She made mental note to ask you about it later in her class, she knew you were a responsible student and as you were old enough to make your own decisions, she trusted you to make good ones at that.

It must have been around two am before you actually got to sleep. The next morning the pain was so much worse. You dragged yourself out of bed in hope that a hot shower would relax the muscles in your neck. You stood and lazily made your way to the ensuite, mentally thanking whoever was in charge of the roomie situation that you simply didn’t have one.

After a shower that seemed to have little to no effect at all on the stupid amount of pain you were in you dressed slowly and grabbed breakfast before heading to botany.

You had no meds for the pain, Panadol never touched the level of chronic pain you were in. High dose stuff made you nervous, you didn’t want to get addicted at such a young age. But you also couldn’t ask for help without exposing the fact you had nobody at home to get you anything.

You made it a point to avoid the infirmary, opting to look out for yourself.

When you had signed up for nevermore yourself, you had faked your parents' signatures based off some old documents you found in your father's study. You had guarded that secret with your life.

Every parent's weekend you simply said they lived far away which was why you stayed on the grounds during breaks, not because you hated the empty house you would eventually have to go home to. So no, you didn’t risk seeing the nurse.

Taking your seat in the room you were slouching badly, trying to ease the pain by loosening the muscles. Every once in a while, you would roll your shoulders to try and get a temporary reprieve in the constant gnawing on your sanity. After a bit you gave up on the worksheet all together and put your head down on the desk trying to get comfortable, or at least as comfortable as possible in that moment.

You jumped when you felt a hand make contact with your back gently. Looking up with bleary eyes, glazed with pain, you saw the concerned face of Ms Thornhill looking down at you.

“Honey are you ok?” She asked already knowing the answer, she was biting her bottom lip, usually you were veery composed so she knew it was something bad.

“Im fine Ms Thornhill.” You said sounding slightly strained.

“Darling I’m your dorm mom right now, call my Marilyn sweetie.” She said and began rubbing circles on your back. You relaxed under her touch, it was soothing and it had been so long since you had any sort of positive contact. You relished in the feeling. You were too tired to care right now about the rest of the class who luckily seemed to be paying no attention at all to the two of you.

“Im fine Marilyn.” You said and ducked your head again.

“Darling don’t lie to me I can tell somethings wrong.” She said softly but sternly. You nodded with tears in your eyes.

“Can I talk to you later.” You whispered.

“Well class is over in a few minutes so please stay behind and talk to me.” She said sensing that you weren’t going to talk in front of your peers.

When class finally ended you packed up your books slowly and stayed seated as the class trailed out. Ms Thornhill came over and pulled up the chair beside you, taking your hand in hers and rubbing it with her thumb grazing gently over your knuckles.

“Talk to me sweetheart.” She said and you choked back tears. The dam burst when she pulled you in for a hug. It had been so long since you had a hug.

You sobbed into her shoulder, and she rubbed your back.

“Shh shh shhh its ok Darling. Im here. And I’ll help you however i can sweetie.” She said before pausing.

“Darling how long has it been since you had a hug?”

“T-too long.” You sniffled.

Then you simply buried your face in her neck until you calmed down. When you finally pulled away, she wiped away the tears with her thumb.

“Now whats the matter many darling?” She asked and you swallowed.

“A few years ago, i was in a car accident. I got whiplash and hurt my neck. It’s never really been the same since. I know it's not in my file but i can usually manage it fine by myself. With the stress of the exam coming up and late nights studying it … it hurts so much more than it normally does. Im scared to take anything I might get addicted to.”

“Well first, we will need to update your file.” She said squeezing you hand gently. “Second if this is a bad flare up...” she paused and waited for your response, and you nodded. “Which it is.” She said slowly, “I can give you something for the pain. And we can manage it together. Ok darling?” She asked and you nodded feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“Now I don’t think principal Weems would approve of me growing you some medicinal Marijuana.” She said and you gave a choked laugh.

“No, I don’t think I would.” Came a voice from the doorway and both of you turned to face the principle. She was wearing a small, amused smirk as she walked over to join you.

“I had a report Y/n wasn’t in her second class. I thought i may find her here.” She said. “Anyone want to explain?” She asked and you looked to Ms Thornhill to answer.

“Y/n was just telling me how she’s been having some issues as of late. Chronic pain was it darling?” She asked looking at you and you nodded and looked away studying the plants on the window cil. “We were just discussing some options.” She finished.

“And I’m glad you have ruled out medicinal Marijuana.” Weems said with a laugh.

“As am I.” You whispered making them both laugh.

“Glad to see you were paying attention in last week's drugs and alcohol assembly darling.” The principal drawled. “However, Ms Thornhill here, may need another.” She said jokingly. “So, whats the plan?”

“Well, I was going to make Ms L/n here some chamomile, willow bark and meadowsweet tea for the pain. Maybe a massage and a heat pack.” Ms Thornhill said standing and grabbing various tins of dried herbs. “I have been wanting to grow some more of my herbs for any students that would need them, and it seems u have found my first patient.” She smiled kindly at you, and you simply nodded again.

“Well, I’ll leave you two too it. I’ll also excuse Ms L/n here from her classes for the day. Provided you are either with Ms Thornhill, at your dorm or at the infirmary.” She said and you thanked her as she left.

A moment later the botany teacher placed a steaming mug of tea in front of you and you sighed as she pressed a heat pack she had seemingly pulled from thin air against your neck.

“I can give you a massage later, the upper traps and right across your shoulders if you like?” She said and you nodded. “Yes please.” You said shyly and she beamed at you.

“Drink that tea darling girl and then we can see how you're feeling. Also, I’d be happy to tutor you if it helps with the stress.”

“Oh you … you don’t have to do that, I’m sure I'll be fine.” You stammered not wanting to take up anymore of her time.

“Darling I’m offering.” She said and you paused.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask my sweet.” She said and you sipped the tea again.

It was safe to say the tea helped significantly. Despite being an old remedy and not being clinically proven, it worked really well.

For the rest of the day, you hung out with the botany teacher, and she helped you study some more. Maybe, just maybe, life would be a bit easier from now on.

MASTERLIST

[crawlspacefics]

The perspective of Makoami as parents is still something I absolutely adore, so that leads me to ask. What kind of mother do you think Ami would be when paired with Mako?

Who's the 'fun' mom? Who's the mom Miki would be more likely to show a failed grade? Or the mom who would reinforce more etiquette? Or watch a TV show with him?

I'd just love to hear more about them, you don't have to answer those questions to a tea.

Love your stuff as always 💖

Thank you.

Thank you for asking! I always like to talk about my girls and how I see their lives playing out. 😁

I think Ami and Makoto have a really good balance as parents. Makoto takes the stricter role, but just because I think she'd choose to be a stay-at-home parent so she's with him the most. Plus, she's going to wind up with a 7-year-old, a toddler, and an infant. She needs a schedule and some order just to keep her sanity! 🤣 But where Makoto teaches Miki how to bake or tend a garden, Ami teaches him why it works like that. Makoto teaches him to block when he takes a swing, Ami teaches him the physics behind the moves. Makoto keeps the homework schedule, but Ami helps answer the hard questions. Ami may even bring in the whiteboard (one for each kid as they get old enough to write) so they can leave messages for each other like she did with her mom.

Ami is definitely the more lenient parent in this scenario. I think it would come partly from her feeling some guilt for being away so much with work, and partly from her never wanting Miki to feel like the odd child out after the other two (who are biologically related to Ami and look A LOT like her mom's side of the family) come along. So when Makoto is making him eat all his vegetables, Ami is secretly passing him pieces of chocolate under the table. Ami probably also has a really hard time letting the timer run when he's in time-out. Miki's eyes may be blue, but he looks like a tiny Makoto and when he pouts at her... he just has her totally wrapped around his pinky finger. Makoto teases her about this. LOL. In Miki's early years, reading time is probably Ami's textbooks. But when he gets a little older, she's going to teach him the absolute joy of reading a novel in a bubble bath. They go used book shopping together so if he drops them in the water, he doesn't feel as bad about it.

Makoto isn't all rules and vegetables, though! She's always going to be a bit nervous when she doesn't have her eyes on Miki, but she isn't a helicopter parent. She teaches him to be independent while watching from just enough distance that she can easily intervene. She makes sure the kids wash their feet and stick to bedtime, but she also gets down on the floor and pretends to be the monster so they can play Sailor Senshi in the costumes she made for them. When Miki asks how his baby brother got there, Makoto happily hands him off to Ami so she can pull out "the book" and stumble 😳 through the biology lessons. But the second he turns 13, Makoto pulls out the box of condoms and the cucumber for the practical lessons, because while she will NEVER use the word mistake where Miki is concerned, she wants him to be better prepared than she was.

But don't forget the others! There's a bit of communal raising of children going on here. Miki wants to know how to talk to a girl? He contemplates Uncle Haruka but quickly realizes Aunt Minako is the best source. First time he's embarrassed by a bad grade? Aunt Usagi, because she makes him feel better and then drags him home to Ami and just lays it out like it's no big deal. Not like that one time Usagi got a 22 on her math test, and if Ami could help her fix that enough to pass entrance exams, she can fix Miki's 63 no problem! He wants to go to the anime convention with his friends? Go see Aunt Rei for the latest fandom cosplay trends! She'll hook him and his friends up with the best group cosplay ideas and make sure they have exactly what they need for autographs.

[mononijikayu]

hello 🥰 ive been following you and reading your works for a while and i think it's really cool how you can produce so many good quality fics so quickly. your readers are very very lucky ! how long does it usually take for you to finish your works? i would love to learn more about your process ! 🌷

hello hello!!! 🫶

i think it sort of helps that i dont sleep that much or very well and that im an irregular student in uni

i also think another factor is that my mind has ideas a lot. most of the time i sit down and think when im at a park before class and i type out a rough plot draft then i make it as soon as possible

because as fast as thoughts come, they go away too fast too. so i rush!!! which is why i make mistakes often!!! i just come back and correct myself!!!

it also helps that i type really fast. i used type out my notes in my undergrad and even now in my higher educ school days. so i think that's another factor!!! i write both on my phone and my computer (which is whyyyyyyy i have drafts everywhere and i get scolded for not paying attention to people im around when i have an idea 🥲🥲🥲)

making short drabbles or smth like say immortal sukuna, it takes me around an hour or so (the formatting is the hard part 🥲🥲🥲)

and say if im doing something in long format like 3 to 5k, it may take 3 to 4 hours, depending on my brain and my energy. 10k and beyond takes longer — but i try to get it done the same day after a break or tomorrow if i have time.

ashes of love, i got crazy writing about it because i could picture everything easily in my head. so i rushed writing it just to crank out the image i had in my head. because im frightened it would disappear and i'd just lose the vision!!!

but on days i dont update (like during exams) i already have something planned in advice, like a draft i didnt like and i feel like is good enough (a great example would be 'love me back—megumi fushiguro, i liked it but i didnt 'love' it you know???); i publish those to buy myself time.

usually its because im stubborn. i dont like leaving things not done and i wanna be a fan of my work too, so i wanna read it to see if its good enough.

so i have to finish it and give it to everyone to enjoy with me. so even if i only like it, i wanna put it in the world too. i think ill grow to love more than i just do now one day!!!

though, im not immune to being lazy. i think i still havent finished a lot of stuff and i have to rewrite them when i have more time. but i genuinely forget sometimes and i come back, reread and do it again. so it makes me unproductive too.

but writing is a destressing tactic to me and im crazy about it because its a way to find some peace of mind. so ill do it aa much as i can to be sane as much as possible.

tldr — i dont sleep that much, i have more time at times cause irregular school days, im stubborn, i chase my ideas like its the F1 and its a problem but also my sanity!!!

i'm sorry this is long reply, im a big yapper but all this changes depending on what happens and how i am (im also sickly sometimes BUT ideas dont stop even when im sick so i also write too) 😭🫶

(also please dont do this to yourselves, it causes a lot of back pain and cramps too. i sit far too much trying to finish ideas and its BAD. please do it in your pace too and make sure to keep your health first 🥹🫶)

[twisted-tales-told]

arik!! for the sleepover !!! what are your favorite crystals and least favorite ones ???

Join the sleepover

HI NAT HI HI OKAY I HAVE SO MANY FAVS RN

From top 2 bottom, carnelian, yellow calcite (yes his name is James), peacock ore, malachite, clear quartz (specifically record keeper quartz but that’s a STORY) and polychrome jasper.

They’re my treasures. All these guys are really good at revitalizing energy and grounding and they may perhaps be the threads in which my sanity is dangling from! Exam season is!!!

As for crystals I hate, SODILITE! EVIL CRYSTAL!! I hate sodilite so much and everyone who I have met with adhd also hates sodilite. It’s supposed to be good for focus but honestly it feels like the teacher I hate telling me I got a bad grade. Like bruh ur my Crystal ur supposed to root for me??

Also pyrite. Weird colour. Especially when tumbled is so gross.

I also really don’t vibe with amethyst and I don’t know why. Like I should love amythest!! It’s supposed to be calming and help with sleep but I literally have to keep the one piece of it I have outside of my bedroom because when I keep it in my room I Never sleep well. Crazy!

It’s sooo pretty though!!!

[unclekaz]

something i like about nolan is that he's directly inspired by old cod protagonists, but not in the way you'd assume as such

i'll put a 'more' option because this might be a bit heavyhanded about my feelings on war and technically american politics

call of duty got sparked from the late era with the War On Terror, from 2008-2012, as that was the most intensive era of call of duty which correlates with the war 'ending' with the murder of Osama Bin Laden

to clarify, it wasn't JUST call of duty but how modern america really ticked at that time.

but it's obvious that those games glamorize warfare pretty intensely, as well as other 'modern warfare' titles. the american soldiers gunning down a foreign threat to protect their nation and end a war, etc

but those games always glamorized it very heavily. as if it was necessary for survival, it was us or them, or just down to them being things with guns that will kill you. the enemy was nameless terrorists, but the same label could be given to the 'good guys', but nooooo they're good so they have to be named something like commandos.

and at the end of the game, everything usually wraps up. maybe you'll lose a character in a haze of patriotic fervor, but things end and everyone goes back home. nobody talks about the trauma, what they did to succeed, or even the inherent nature of these games being very good at demonstrating male masculinity through brooding action hero soldiers

so.. there's nolan.

nolan spits in the face of those same games i used to love playing as a kid because 'military is cool (:'

he's an inherent survivor, but also a horrific demon as a human being. he trudges onward coated in blood, the taste of flesh prominent in his mouth as he's determined to bash your skull against the concrete ground until it's mush. he's violent, in the same way those protagonists would be but purposely toned back as to not make them seem 'bad'

nolan struggles with his sanity and morality. he has internalized the 'us or them' complex so intrinsically that he could probably mash his fingers through the eyes of a mother until the retina burst and wouldn't think twice because she threatened him. but he UNDERSTANDS what he is capable of. and that SCARES HIM.

he has a sense of morality, no matter how bastardized and skewed it may be, because he understands that he might not be anything better than a monster. he COULD to that to a mother as her child watches in terror, but he will never do that. not because he understands himself, or has a god complex. he simply understands how things work, with no complex why or how outside of him simply not wanting to do that.

nolan understands morality, even if it's a subconscious concept. that's why he never passed the exam into the military. he is capable of the sheer avarice the military is known for, but he doesn't want to proceed simply because he understands that he shouldn't.

so nolan never got enlisted. and he left jackson as a result

[fostercare-expat]

Venting about all the elements of this case that I have no control or responsibility over.

Social worker has already resigned. It’s her first job after university and she lasted less than 11 months. And she even interned for several months in the same Department before she took the job. This job can’t seem to keep the good ones. And she wasn’t even that good. But she was nice and she was competent and responsive at least.

Mom talks crap behind my back one day, and yet she’s texting me the next day to tell me the Older Sister failed all her exams, and the next day that she stole a bike and the next day she sends me screenshots of all the expl. cite videos she has been watching online. I held back from what I really wanted to say, which was “Any child is going to act this way who has experienced seeing domestic violence in the home against her mother with Police involvement, and then seen Mom stay with that man, and then seen that man hit her Younger Brother, and seen that man grab the back of her other Brothers neck and then been taken away from her mother and experienced that her mother hasn’t fought hard to her girls home and certainly has showed even less interest in getting her boys home, yet stays with the boyfriend through it all, and makes Older Daughter be a caregiver for her Little Sister and makes Older Daughter feel like it’s her responsibility to keep the family together.

She had been through a lot of trauma and this is a reflection of that. She isn’t misbehaving. I think she has a deep inner sadness and fear and her behaviour is showing that. But I truely believe that with lots of stability, safety, love, attention, and encouragement, then the rebellious behaviour of stealing and porn will stop. 11 year olds who have stable and loving connections with their caregivers don’t do these sort of things.”

But I won’t say that because she will get upset that I called her a bad mom.

In other news, Older Brother went for a follow up ADHD assessment with the same doctor he saw a year ago. Mom had previously told us he has been diagnosed with ADHD, but we then found no documentation of that. Other Foster Mom brought him for this appointment, and doctor said again she does not see clinical evidence of ADHD and she thinks the challenging parts of his behaviour are probably related to his home life and traumatic experiences. She noted that Mom had a lot of negative things to say about him at the visit last year.

I think there is a part of mom that desperately needs to prove her kids are “bad” not that she is a “bad” mom.

I’m going to give it awhile longer but I might need to make a decision to cut off direct communication with her and just communicate via the social worker to save my own sanity. I’m not good at not taking on everyone’s problems :)

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

"For someone who loved words as much as I did, it was amazing how often they failed me."

-- If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio

“Because freedom, I am told, is nothing but the distance between the hunter and its prey.”

-- On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

and as for poetry, i like to talk about "Written in my Dreams by W. C. Williams" by Allen Ginsberg with other people because it's short and rolls over the tongue nicely and i like to come back to it, puts a smile on my face, you know?

i'll also never forget "A Carcass" by Charles Baudelaire from when we read it at school years ago and then again in high school and i have now chosen Les Fleurs du mal as one of the books for my oral school leaving exam, so it's definitely one of those authors i read once and was never able to get out of my head

and last but not least, Louise Glück (may she rest in peace) and her "Theory of Memory" which includes the ending "Right now you are a child holding hands with a fortune-teller. All the rest is hypothesis and dream." and i simply don't have a choice but to love this one

i have so many more favourites, but these are the ones i can think of right now hehe <33

what r ur favourite poems and quotes??

those are brilliant actually

mine are quite, different to what one may think but i like finding meaning in things that other people think are only surface level :

思い出なんか いらん - we don't need memories

this is from the anime haikyuu LMAO which is a fucking volleyball anime and it is the team motto of one of the teams. It is quite honestly my life motto at this point. I used to live in the past, excused people for thing they do now because they were different in the past. they were different in my memories. I was so focused on the past i forgot to enjoy my present. I am done doing that. My memories hold me back. I am tired of it.

"to love and lose and still be kind" - warsan shire

this is pretty self explanatory. i dont think I've had a hard life. but i certainly haven't had an easy one. i have a habit of giving too much of myself to people. I'm working on rectifying that whilst still being kind.

"but i cut people out like tags on my clothing" - conan gray

I LOVE people watching its one of my favourite songs. but this line is really important to me. I've cut the tags off of my clothing for as long as I can remember. ever since i was a kid. I also have a habit of cutting out people the second they break my trust. as easy as cutting off tags from my clothing. I don't think its a good habit or a bad habit. it just. is.

"It's always the ones who are quietest who often have the greatest things to say" - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This is from one of my favourite books of all time. I was a quiet child for a while. I never got excited for anything and after a while my parents suspected I had childhood depression, we still don't know for sure if I did. It makes a lot of sense though. It took me a while to become confident in my own voice and my own opinions. this quote is really important to me.

"Men don't cry. My daddy taught me that. Men don't cry because they don't have time to cry.

I must not have been a man yet because I cried. I bowed my head and cried." - TJ Klune, Wolfsong

This isn't personal to me in anyway, I just really, really love this part of the book and these two lines in particular.

"I'll be your hands." "I'll be your sanity." - TJ Klune, Ravensong

love has always been something I've read about. but this quote takes the damn cake.

as for poems,

At a Funeral by Dennis Brutus

I analyzed this poem for an English Lit class and the story behind why it was written really stuck with me. It was written after the death of Valencia Majombozi who was shot on the day of her graduation from nursing school. Its a protest poem and it just hits really fucking hard.

Death of a Naturalist by Seamus Heaney

This was the first poem that i ever took inspiration from. I had of course written before, but I really enjoyed Heaney's writing style so it strongly influenced my poem Quietude, which I am planning to submit to the empty inkwell publication...hopefully lol

Identity Card by Mahmoud Darwish

This poem is written as a form of protest poetry as well. Mahmoud Darwish was a Palestinian poet, for those of you who do not know and he wrote this poem about being asked for his identity card by Israeli Officers. Its really, really good.

[never-enough-novels]

Hi guys

I'm soo sorry for posting weird stuff. I was in a bad headspace and I needed to vent somewhere. Thank you so much for the kind messages and I'm soo sorry for worrying any of yall. I'm definitely not going to leave tumblr anytime soon cause the only reason I still have my remaining sanity is because of the friends I've made here. Again I'm really sorry for worrying you all and I'll definitely be a bit more active with the vault finally open. Though I won't be as active as I was before because I also have exams.

Thank you so much<33

[lovechai]

alhaitham x afab! reader

involves ! nsfw themes (no explicit sexual content), fuck buddy arrangement, kissing, angst, one-sided love

author's note : couldn't sleep even tho i have my finals exam in a few hours. how do i get alhaitham out of my mind help

you wonder how did you get to this point.

you were not in the mood for sex, and alhaitham only knew that once he had just gotten to your place. you didn't provide him with any kind of explanation, but even so, he was pretty understanding of your feelings and respected your decision. and yet, for some reason you can't comprehend, he asked if he could stay for awhile. even when you two are merely fuck buddies, nothing more and nothing less.

it puzzled you. as far as you knew, both of you agreed on a contractual relationship of sexual nature, and for the most part, it stayed that way. neither of you has ever attempted to pursue more than that, hence why you aren't even close friends with him. he also never stays over. until now.

so what changed?

you know that you should never feel bad for saying no, but he probably had gone here straight from his mind-grueling work. your mind was telling you to keep your boundaries for the sake of your waning sanity, while your heart was whispering for you to take the leap.

now is your chance. take it.

you let him stay.

alhaitham sat at the end of the couch while you made yourself cozy at the other end. you could remember that he was reading a book in a language that you couldn't understand while you continued watching the romance movie you were previously indulging yourself in. and there was a huge gap between the two of you that could only be closed if one was brave enough to do so.

now, you're wondering how you got to this point.

you can't remember how, but all of a sudden, you find yourself in the comfort of his lap, gently tracing the stubbles on his jaw with the tips of your fingers. his turquoise eyes are currently fixated on the film playing on the television screen, book long gone from his hands that are now holding you in place. you have long forgotten the show you were watching as you are too busy studying his handsome face at the moment.

you have never done this before. you have once wanted to, maybe sometimes, but as it is a whole different kind of intimacy, doing so would be overstepping the line you drew.

soon you find his gaze on you. your fingers stop at what they're doing, and instead, settle on the breadth of his chest. you feel heat run up to your cheeks.

"what's wrong?" alhaitham asks, his deep voice tinged with concern.

you.

"nothing," you tell him with a small and shy smile.

his arms tighten their hold around your waist. you wish to the archons that he doesn't notice how your heart is beating loudly in your chest.

he takes his attention back to the television. "kaveh's been complaining about how you aren't hanging out with him lately."

it's because of you.

you let the words linger on the tip of your tongue. then you heave a sigh, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck. "is that why you're here?"

there is a slight pause before his answer comes. "yes."

you study his features again, and his expression has remained cold and distant that suddenly you miss seeing him melting in your touch. you try to resist the nagging urge to do something, to feel him on your lips, to see how he would react. will he shy away? or will he return it?

and so you lean closer, pressing your lips lightly against his jaw. you hear his breath hitch and feel his hands still. as you pepper featherlight kisses along the line of his jaw, you readjust yourself on his lap so that you're straddling him, his hands now on the curve of your ass.

you have never kissed him before. but now, you're about to cross that line. you steel yourself for one moment when you reach the corner of his slightly parted lips. he looks at you with his eyes darkened with need and lust as you card your fingers through his soft gray hair. and then, this time, you finally lean in to kiss his lips.

your stomach coils itself at the warmth of his lips on yours. and when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, your heart is ready to burst at the seams. his hand reaches up to the back of your neck, his tongue licking into your mouth with fervor, tasting you right there and then. you mewl from all the emotions swirling within you, your mind running empty from the way he kisses you good.

he ends up taking you there on the couch that night, and for the first time in your arrangement with him, you silently cried in his arms from all the pleasure and ache you felt as he pounded his cock into you, capturing your lips in another heated kiss which you'd wish was full of yearning.

the truth is... i'm in love with you. but this will do for now.

[nyansequitur]

Finished crafting my long-term build plan, besides skill books. Honestly don't know where to go from here. Probably giving each operator a module? In any case, more detailed info about what exactly I farmed below the cut. CN spoilers, photos, and a lot of talking below.

I suppose let's start with the goal.

Module 1/2/3: J/essicat Alter, L/iskarm

E1/E2/SL7: C/ivlight Eterna, A/sh, E/la

S1M1/M2/M3: P/allas, V/igil, M/izuki, C/ement

S2M1/M2/M3: S/hining, I/nsider, C/ivlight Eterna, A/miya (Medic), A/sh, H/oshiguma, S/hamare, F/iametta, I/frit, C/eobe, S/ilence Alter, S/wire Alter, A/miya (Guard), C/eylon, P/roviso, I/nes, S/iege, S/kadi, B/laze, B/lemishine, M/udrock

S3M1/M2/M3 T/horns, S/hu, S/hining, F/artooth, E/xecutor Alter, M/agallan, C/arnelian, D/egenbrecher, L/ee, S/uzuran, N/earlter, M/lynar, V/iviana, L/essing, V/irtuosa, H/oederer, E/la, B/agpipe, P/ozemka, R/osa, E/yja, P/assenger, H/o'olheyak, L/in, K/al'tsit, N/ightingale, L/umen, S/tainless, A/ak, G/ladiia, D/orothy, A/miya (Caster), S/aga, F/lametail, M/uelsyse, S/urtr, Q/iubai, C/hongyue, H/orn, E/unectes, E/xusiai, C/h'en

broke up names so I (hopefully) don't appear when searching for any operator ever lol

Before I start mastering skills, this is the stage of my depot.

Which should hopefully put into context why I have no base morale at the moment

Why didn't I start crafting earlier? Because I didn't know when I was going to be hitting the finishing point and didn't want to overcraft expensive materials that I would be getting as gameplay rewards. (Pick your poison really, if you start crafting early you can make good use of byproducts but poor use of event mats, and vice versa.)

The krooster planner I used looks like this

If I reset the stock to zero, penguin stats estimates it @ 277.5k sanity, although it doesn't account for event rewards or farming rate ups, so the real number is significantly less. It also doesn't calculate chips/skill books however, so forces going both ways on the estimate.

Upper number is how many I need, lower number is how many I have. Ignore the green book count, that's how many green books I would need if I got no more blue ones.

Blue books are what I'm farming at the moment, and the chips will be farmed once the CN operators are closer to release. I think (I hope) natural sanity and events will be enough given my backlog, but only time will tell. I don't want to do more sanity math please.

This took me, uh. About since my last build plan was completed at the end of February, so. Just over five months-ish? Unfortunately there is no satisfying payoff like the last build plan

due to masteries taking forever to complete. Near all earned OP since then was converted into sanity refreshes minus some skins. Don't have a good estimate on how much OP I bought for sanity at the moment, but it did definitely happen.

Why did I do this? A desire for maximum sanity efficiency, at first, although mostly it was a goal I set for myself about not leaving built ops or 6*s behind. (This can also be observed in how I level my operators, besides the CC12 crew, fwiplord exam crew, and some early game ops/favorites, most of my e2s are between levels 35 and 45 because I level the weakest e2 first.)

Anyways, I like having a goal to work towards in regards to building ops that can remain constant for months. Watching as the Penguin Stats sanity estimate slowly crept down (or went up when I pulled a new 6*.)

I might do a smaller build queue of 4-5* operators actually. If you made it this far, send me unbuilt ops you consider 'bad' or never see usage of (or just like) I guess.

[prof-jadranko]

// btw, i feel a bit bad for spamming the dash with a LOT of OOC and not really RPing with anyone rn, this is because as mentioned in this post way back, i will be EXTREMELY busy this school year and the busy has struck me already with full force. i am here when i can be even if that sometimes means a few days off and a few days of spam, so sorry i'm here with a incredibly inconsistent schedule. my creative energy is all being spent on fighting demons (end of highschool exams, college entrance exams, personal creative projects, school creative projects, film execs, etc etc) so my inspo for rp here ebbs and flows. pray for me and my sanity this senior year and the second i get some free time in the next day or so y'all are being spammed with asks annoying your characters 🙏