#because my brain never left fear o phobia
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
lover-of-mine · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#Buck is Eddie's person send tweet
695 notes · View notes
gothic-safari-clown · 4 years ago
Text
The Mind’s Power Over the Body
Part 9: Explanation
Story summary: They only ever had each other. It had been that way since high school, ever since Elianna transferred to dreary Arlen and took Jonathan under her wing. They go separate ways for college, and when they're reunited at Arkham Asylum professionally, Elianna comes to find that they've both changed during their time separated. Can she look past the promise of danger and stay by Jonathan's side as they slide further and further into the darkness while she grapples to come to terms with the truth about herself? Can she accept what needs to be done in order to hold onto the only person who holds any meaning in her life? This is a very self-indulgent AU that draws from several different canons of the DCU and ignoring others, starting in the Batman Begins Nolanverse. This will follow the plot of the movie, although the timeline has been very slightly tweaked.
Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight
Word count: 2469
Between her newfound acceptance of her less-than-moral tendencies and her freshly organized office, Elianna had finally been able to find peace for the day as she finished plugging all of her notes into the computer. Cognitively she knew (and had even told several patients in the past) that seeking revenge was unhealthy and detrimental to the healing process, especially if the outcome could get the exactor arrested. But God was the prospect of it attractive.
I don't think God has anything to do with any of this.
She wrapped up the rest of her work fairly quickly, still mulling over the unethicacy of admitting patients with common phobias, finally deciding to overlook the fallacies if it meant that she wouldn't be attacked again any time soon, and gathered her purse and her suitcase before making her way to Jonathan's office after a glance over her map of the facility.
On her way, Elianna suddenly found herself wrapped in the embrace of something blonde and very shrill. "Harley?"
"I'm so sorry that I didn't check on you sooner!" El laughed and gently pried her friend off of her.
"It's okay; I'm alright." She assured with a warm smile. She barely knew Harley. How sweet of her to be so worried.
"Like hell you are, look at your forehead!" Without thinking, El lifted her hand to touch the bandaid, which was only partially covered by her hair.
"To be honest, I forgot about it. But the fact that I only needed a bandaid and not a hospital bracelet means something, I think."
"Yeah, I guess so." Harley pouted and linked her arm with Elianna's, starting to walk her in the direction she had been going before she stopped her. "I was really worried about you, y'know, and nobody expected you back today. I mean, you must be traumatized! Any signs of PTSD?"
"Not yet, but I'm trying not to dwell on it. I mean, I came here for a fresh start (not technically a lie), and as far as I'm concerned, this was just the city officially indoctrinating me as a Gothamite." Harley snorted and shook her head.
"Alright, however you want to look at it, I guess. Look, I gotta run; I just couldn't let you go without making sure you're okay. You're sure you don't need anything?"
"Not at the moment, but if I need anything, I'll keep you in mind." El stopped walking again to give the blonde a tight squeeze, which she returned readily.
"Alright, honey, say hi to Doctor Crane for me," Harley finished with a kiss on her cheek and then seemed to vanish before Elianna had a chance to say anything else.
Upon reaching Jonathan's office, she knocked and waited for him to buzz her in, and her original greeting died in her throat as she entered.
"Why do you get a bigger office than me?" She asked, looking around the space. It was still messy, just like his home office, but the chaos seemed more organized.
"Because I've worked here longer, come help me with this stack, will you?" He sighed and pushed said stack to the other side of the desk from him. El nodded and sat in front of it, taking the top file off. "Just read me the most recent notes inside, and I'll type it up." They set to work straight away, finally getting each computerized file updated after an hour or so. Jonathan stretched his back as they stood up, and El noticed that he still seemed irritated by whatever her name was from the DA's office.
"You okay? I can drive home if you want." He let out a short, humorless "ha!"
"Under no circumstances do you get to drive my car. You drive like Scarecrow."
"Wh-you let him drive but not me?" He shook his head.
"Not a chance, but he likes it when you drive, and that's enough of a deterrent for me." El rolled her eyes, but it was sound reasoning, she supposed.
"Fine, but you have to make dinner again."
"Well, the difference is that with me behind the wheel, we'll actually make it home to enjoy dinner." He replied offhandedly, snapping his briefcase closed and walking with her to the door.
"Okay, I get it, find a new joke, will you?" Her light irritation seemed to amuse him, and she muttered something about, "never should have taught you about humor," as he held open the door for her.
Once back at Jonathan's apartment, El wasted no time getting into the shower and changing into pajamas. She still had so many questions about his involvement in the underworld, and being comfortable acted as her preliminary strike against what would doubtlessly be a less than fun conversation.
When she returned to the living room, Jonathan hadn't bothered to change out of his work clothes, and it appeared that he had been trying in vain to tidy his desk the entire time. El left him to it and continued to the kitchen in search of something to snack on.
"You jealous of my clean office yet?" She called as she pilfered through his pantry. Her friend had had a weakness for goldfish ever since she had introduced them to him, as silly as it sounded. I know they're in here somewhere...aha!
"Hardly; I just misplaced something." He replied distractedly as she walked back in with the entire carton. "If you finish that, you're buying me more."
"Deal. So, why don't you put that on pause until after we talk about everything else?" El asked as she walked next to him and leaned back against the desk, and he stopped shuffling through his papers.
"Where do you want to start?" El thought for a moment before pulling him over to the couch so that they could sit and set the carton between them.
"Why don't you tell me how you...came into the life of organized crime?" She asked slowly, unsure of how to go about asking. Was that the right way to refer to the situation?
"There's a man, Ra's Al Gul," El was taken aback by the intense name—this really was very serious. "He contacted Falcone a while ago to find someone to make a compound that can help him purge Gotham. Falcone found me because of my specialty in phobias and recruited me to the cause. He assumed that I would be easily corrupted, working at Arkham and all." He reached into the carton for a handful of goldfish. "I guess he was right."
"O-okay, and that's why you developed the toxin in the first place." He nodded. "And this Ra's Al Gul character, he's the one shipping what you need into Gotham, what is it?"
"It's this little blue flower from Bhutan. It grows in the mountains. There's a natural chemical in it that reacts to being broken down that causes vivid hallucinations by hijacking the amygdala and creating a powerful fear response. He uses it for some...initiation process for his organization."
"So you studied it and found a way to work it into a serum." He nodded again, still slowly working through his handful of the little crackers, and suddenly something clicked in Elianna's brain. "My patients." He looked at her, his face impassive. "The ones with the anxiety disorders, there isn't actually anything wrong, is there? You admitted them to study the effects."
"Yes, I've been microdosing them with different strains of the toxin to study the results."
"Well, how do you keep them from ratting you out? I mean, if I'm working with some of them, then that means other doctors are too."
"I've made it clear to all of them that if they point the finger at me that I'll give them a full dosage. It's not like the administration would find any of my research if they cared to look anyway; it's all here." Elianna laughed incredulously.
"You really do have everything figured out, don't you? Sneaky bastard."
"I'm going to choose to assume that was a compliment." There was a quiet pause while El thought over everything she had learned in such a short space of time.
"Why does Ra's Al Gul want to target Gotham?" Jonathan half shrugged in response.
"Something about the corrupt elite, the thinks that by weeding it out, it can allow humanity to heal."
"He thinks he can fix humanity by taking out one lousy city?" She asked before another thought hit her. "Hold on, you're one of the corrupt elite, aren't you? That goes against his whole plan. Why are you helping him if you're in his crosshairs?" At this, Jonathan shook his head and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
"I agreed to do this because if I didn't, they could find someone else to, and as long as I continue with the project, I've been promised a way out of the city safely. This has been in motion for long enough that I work directly for Ra's Al Gul now. Falcone is just involved in handling the shipments; they sneak it in with other drugs."
"Well...shit, you get to leave the city so that you don't get caught up in the...the chaos, what about me?" She had a moment of self-awareness for the selfishness of her concern, which was easily brushed off (much to her own surprise), and she did not want to get caught up in the attack on the city. Jonathan turned his head to look at her, almost offended that she had even asked.
"I'm going to take you with me. I thought that would go without saying." He shifted his whole body to face her. "Like I said this morning, I do terrible things, but I wouldn't abandon you do that any more than you would to me, especially now. I told you everything; now you're involved."
El nodded in relief. All of her questions answered, she returned to thinking about how much she should have been disturbed by the situation. Her best friend was involved in a plot to bring down an entire city, and she had been more concerned about her own safety than she had been about the innocent people living there.
Then again, why should she be worried? Everything, everyone, for her entire adult life had been just like high school in Arlen where the strong and privileged had punched downward at the weak for fun, and the weak were pushed to do bad things to get by. Was it not kinder to eliminate the city where it was all overlooked? Kinder to provide the weak with an out from subjugation with a choice that they didn't need to make? To exact revenge on their tormentors?
Really, she thought, if you think about it, the only difference between them and the two of us is that we have the chance to do something about it. So why shouldn't we?
Life in Gotham had already been so much more exciting than she had hoped for, and the promise of more in store filled her with anticipation. Why had she chosen to go so far away from Jonathan in the first place?
"Well then," she moved the carton onto the coffee table and laid across the newly empty space to put her head in her friend's lap and looked up at him. "What's the plan for Zsasz?" The littlest hint of a smile appeared on his face.
"You're looking forward to it now, aren't you?"
"He deserves it." The condemnation flew from her mouth without a second thought.
"He does, but are you sure you can do it?"
"Yes. I want to do it. And if I can't, that won't change. Even if you have to do it for me, it'll be done, and so long as one of us does it and no one else, I'll be satisfied with the outcome." Jonathan found himself feeling proud of his friend, and Scarecrow echoed the sentiment; the straw man was really starting to like her for the first time.
"Well said."
"I thought so too." El smiled at him, suddenly remembering once again her mysterious savior. "Oh!" She sat up quickly, turning to face him again. "The parking lot the other night, Zsasz; there was someone else there."
"What do you mean, there was a witness?" Elianna shook her head.
"No, it was after I fell, when I got up again and I was running to my car there was someone else there, he-" she paused to decide how to tell what had happened. "It seemed like he flew over my head, I don't know where he came from, but he went after Zsasz. I saw him for a seconds before I left, he was dressed in all black, and his face was covered. I thought that he would take care of Zsasz, but it seems like the police detained him, so I don't know what happened."
Jonathan thought for a moment, analyzing the information. "Well, even if whoever it was incapacitated Zsasz and called the police, it's unlikely that they would broadcast that on the media." EL nodded in agreement.
"I wonder what his motivation was and how he happened to be there." She spoke aloud, but more to herself than to Jonathan. "If he hadn't shown up, I don't think I would have made it."
"Well, it's definitely strange, I'll give you that." Jonathan sighed. "Something we'll have to keep an eye on. If a vigilante is gearing up to take out criminals, then we'll have to be prepared for it."
"Yeah." The apartment was silent as the pair thought over what would happen if anything they were planning on doing was discovered. "I knew Gotham would give me some excitement." She finally said lightly, to which Jonathan scoffed.
"Yeah, you could call it that. Is...there anything else you may have forgotten than you need to tell me?" El thought back for a moment, fighting a chill as she forced herself to remember anything.
"No, that's it." He nodded.
"Good."
"Yeah." They both paused for another moment before El spoke again, looking to change the subject. "Now go make dinner before I'm forced to finish your goldfish; I'm starving."
"Yes, ma'am," Jonathan stood, taking the carton back into the kitchen with him. "How do you feel about pasta tonight?"
5 notes · View notes
yikestripes · 5 years ago
Text
Same old
A/N: Here you go anon!!! I hope you enjoy!!!!
Pairing: Bill x Reader
Request: May I request a fic with Bill Denbrough x reader that has Bill saving the reader from her worst fear that Pennywise is putting her through? (which can be something related to bullying or some sort of phobia). And I do think it’s more fitting as adults considering what happened in the second movie, but it’s also fine if they’re written younger—
(Y/D/J) = Your dream job
You swallowed hard, pulling up outside of the Chinese restaurant Mike had picked. You weren’t particularly prepared for the potential horrors waiting for you inside; you felt anxious as hell, being reunited with the people you’d called friends your entire childhood with barely any recollection of their names or virtually anything about them. As a matter of fact, you hardly remembered anything Mike had brought up during your brief phone call the night before about your childhood. You never had any reason to bring it up in conversation, or think about it for any other reason, so why would you remember? But then again, how could you forget? Isn’t that someone everyone does, forget? Especially when they grow up and move away? Apparently not.
You shook away the negative thoughts that swirled around your aching brain, and got out of your car as another car pulled into the parking lot. You paid no mind to the other car, too distracted by the restaurant looming overhead and what awaited you inside, when someone calling you from behind brought you back.
“(Y/N)?” You turned at the sound of your name being called by a distinctly deep, male voice, and were met with a man around your age squinting at you behind his glasses, seemingly confused. You stared for a second before it clicked; Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier stood before you, hands tucked sheepishly into his leather jacket, with his hair wild from running his fingers through it moments before.
“Oh my GOD! Richie!” You felt yourself running at him and attack him in a hug. He didn’t move at first, still slightly taken aback by having seen someone he hadn’t seen in 27 years look so painfully familiar but like a beautiful stranger. He moved to hug back but you’d already stepped back to get a better look at him.
“You look great, Trashmouth! What the hell!” You laughed and Richie’s awkwardness eased up as he smiled a bit.
“Look at you, you look gorgeous! What the fuck happened to me?” He glanced at his reflection in the glass of the window and shook his head a bit.
“Oh stop. When did you get in?” You asked, stuffing your own hands in your pockets, quickly becoming re-acquainted with the chilly air of Maine.
“Last night. You?”
“Earlier this afternoon. Have… have you seen anyone yet?”
“Nope. You?”
“Not yet. Wanna go in?”
“Not at all.”
“Alright, let’s do this.” You took your hands out of your pocket with a deep breath to calm your racing heart, and ripped the door open as Richie followed behind you.
The restaurant seemed nice and was brightly lit, which helped to relax you a little bit.
That might make it easier to recognize everyone.
The hostess led you and Rich to a private room aside from the main dining room, where 3 grown men near the fish tank, becoming readjusted to each other once again.
“Wow, take a look at these guys!” The shorter man in the red jacket said, attempting to relieve some of the tangible awkwardness.
You pressed your lips together as you made eye contact with the taller man, who seemed to be familiar in a different way than the others. His muscles contracted as he crossed his arms over his chest, his silver watch winking at you in the light. His blue eyes were bright, and full of hazy memory.
“Look at her TREMBLE girls! She’ll be a laughing stock by the end of the day!” Gretta Keene was cackling as you shook like a teapot, your back so far against the lockers that the locks were pressing into your back. You had no idea why Gretta was so terrifying, but she just was. There were no limits with her torment, and that certainly didn’t exclude you. She’d thrown wet trash on you, poured paint in your backpack in art class, and hid your clothes after gym class. She made you miserable at any opportunity, purely because she knew it bothered you; plus you were an easy target, you had no one to protect you. She had all the power. Especially since she found your sketchbook, filled with embarrassing drawings of one Bill Denbrough.
“Oh s-shut up, G-gretta.” The all-too-familiar lanky boy stepped out from behind Gretta, meekly followed by a few other boys you’d recognized from your classes through the years, who were always with Bill. Gretta whipped her ponytail around to look at who’d interrupted her fun, allowing you to sneak a bit closer to the boys.
“Aw would you look who it is, Stuttering Bill Denbrough! Coming to protect your little girlfriend, huh?” Bill’s blue eyes hardened, ignoring Gretta’s comment.
“Just leave her alone, she never did anything to you.” Bill crossed his arms over his chest.
“Oh yeah? Or what?”
“O-or I'll r-r-remind the w-wh-whole school a-about how R-Ri-Richie p-p-pulled up your skirt d-during the cl-class play i-in 4th grade.” Bill smirked as Gretta’s face turned a shade of pink.
Richie snickered as he adjusted his glasses, clearly still amused by the memory. Eddie glared at him and Richie shrugged.
“You win this round, Denbrough,” Gretta glared at him, clearly trying but failing to intimidate him. “Next time, Stuttering Bill won’t be around to save your ass, you little slut.” Gretta lunged at you and you slammed back into the lockers, trying to hide your wince after hitting a lock particularly hard.
She sashayed away as you recovered, rubbing the lower part of your back.
“Thank you.” You whispered to Bill, casting your eyes down. You were extremely shy, especially after Gretta’s torment had begun. You looked back up and Bill smiled kindly at you, extending his hand to help you up.
“I-I’m Bill D-D-Denbrough,” You shook his hand with a shy grin. “I-I know w-we’ve had c-cl-classes together f-for a few y-y-years, b-but I d-don’t thi-think we’ve e-ever spoken.”
“I’m (Y/N).” Bill nodded.
“I’m Richie!”
“Edward Kaspbrak, but you can call me Eddie.” “Call him Eddie Spaghetti, he LOVES that!”
“I told you to stop calling me that!”
“Alright Eds, have it your way.”
“I hate Eds too! It’s Eddie!”
“Calm yourself, Eduardo.”
“RICHIE!” Richie snickered again as Eddie crossed his arms, huffing in frustration.
“I”m Stanley, Stanley Uris.”
“Oh, yes! We have math together.” You smiled at the curly-haired boy. He sat behind you at math, always answering the teacher’s questions.
“Bill?” You whispered, frowning slightly. Bill broke out into a grin and approached you slowly, memories streaming back.
“(Y/N).” He said almost breathlessly, pulling you into a tight hug. Your knees almost buckled beneath you at his familiar scent and feeling of him holding you so close and so tight.
“I can’t believe it’s been so long, I just, I can’t believe it…” You trailed off, an eruption of memories causing your previous headache to return. You grimaced slightly, and shook it away, not allowing something so silly to ruin your evening.
“I know. It’s been what, 18 years? 17? Right after college, I believe, is when we last saw each other.” Bill took a step back, suddenly feeling like he was back in high school with the way his emotions were running so rampant.
“Something like that. How have you been?? What’s been going on? What do you do?” You became readjusted quickly, the other Loser’s looking on with a familiar feeling, as if they’d seen the same sort of interactions between the two of you. As a matter of fact, they had. When you were all much, much younger, and a lot more unable to speak your feelings.
You and Bill caught up very quickly as you awaited the other’s arrivals, one by one. You learned he followed his heart and became a writer, and you’d actually read a few of his books! Contrary to popular belief, you thought his endings were not that bad. He’d been married for a few years, but it never quite worked out, so they ended up divorcing on civil terms. He found out you hadn’t married; never quite finding the right person. Little did you know, the right one had been only a few hours away, subconsciously writing your personality into book characters. You’d become (Y/D/J), traveling the world like you’d always wanted to, and settling down in a place that was the complete opposite of Derry. Not that you’d remembered what it was like in Derry, but once you returned, you shuddered at how much the place had affected you.
You left the Chinese restaurant feeling a heavy weight on your shoulders, weighing down on you like never before. Between finding out about why Stanley hadn’t been at dinner, the fortune cookie massacre, and your feelings for Bill all coming rushing back at once, there was almost nothing keeping you from leaving. Almost.
“I-I’m gonna go w-w-with Mikey to the library, you o-okay to get back by yourself?” Bill asked, mentally cursing for allowing his stutter to rear its head.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’m probably gonna go to bed and mull things over.” You rubbed your hand up and down his arm, watching as he untensed a little bit. Your touch was always enough to relax Bill, especially back in the days after the first battle.
You slept over his house pretty often, sneaking in and out of his window on the days you were afraid his parents would think you were spending too much time there. Half the time when you would wake up in the middle of the night by yourself, usually after a Gretta or Pennywise induced nightmare, and sneak over to Bill’s and climb into bed with him; your safe space. He would crack an eye open, smile, and open his arms to you. You climbed in and wiggled up next to him as he held you close, a smile gracing both of your faces.
“I’ll see you back there, then.” He smiled at you and his hand lingered on your shoulder for just a moment, before joining Mike in his car. You made it back to the motel without incident, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
The following morning, you woke up and found yourself shivering for the first time in years; and you knew it wasn’t because of any sort of draft. Along with the horrid memories that poisoned your childhood, the ones that remained untouched by the horrors you experienced also recurred. It was almost as if you were reverting to the person you were while living in Derry, complete with your need for Bill Denbrough to protect you.
“It’s only going to work if we split up,” Mike said, glancing at each Loser.
“No way, statistically speaking we’re much better off if we remain together as a group!” Eddie said, nervousness lacing his already edgy voice.
“W-we can’t. You w-won’t b-be able to find y-your tokens, it’s a sort o-of… personal journey. E-each of us h-has to par-partake.” Bill said, clapping a hand on Mike’s shoulder.
You shrugged and started climbing the ladder, squinting in the filtered light of the Barrens as you walked forward, feeling propelled by some unknown force. Just as Mike had advised, you all split up. You’d crossed paths with Bill a bit later in the day, who looked extraordinarily pale. Assuming he’d already grabbed his token by the look on his face, you just pulled him into a hug.
You pulled away with a smile, quickly realizing your mistake. A mangled sort of Gretta Bowie stood in front of you, hair matted and her typical blue eyeshadow was replaced by something red and gooey, assumably blood.
“Did you miss me, freak?” A voice that was only partially human seemed to be coming from Gretta, even though her mouth didn’t move.
You stood in frozen horror, mouth agape.
“I missed you, I thought you’d never come back to talk with me.” The creature that resembled your former tormenter remarked. “No one ever wants to talk with me.” The creature flipped its matted hair. “Look at you TREMBLE! The whole school is gonna know about your pathetic little crush on Bill Denbrough, the boy with the stutter. You know he never loved you, right? He thought you were a freak, like the rest of us. Just a quiet, little freak. He only pretended to like you, because he’s such a nice guy. Look at you now! All grown up and the same little crush on Big stuttering Bill Denbrough!” Gretta cackled in the most sickeningly familiar way, and you dropped to your knees in tears.
It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s real.
You felt like you were going to throw up, all the anxiety and shame rushing back at you all at once.
Bill had crossed the street near his old neighborhood, still slightly unnerved by his encounter with Pennywise. Subconsciously, he had been hoping to run into you on the hunt for your token, looking for some sort of excuse to see you. He hated the idea of the whole group splitting up, despite the visions Mike had forced him to see the previous night. He knew it was the only way but the reality of the situation sat heavy like a rock in his stomach; he couldn’t stand the idea of losing another loved one to the goddamn clown that had been terrorizing him since he was just 13 years old.
An ear piercing scream rang out suddenly, breaking Bill from his thoughts. A very familiar scream.
“(Y/N)!” Bill whipped around wildly, looking for some sort of direction to go in. Another scream rang out and he followed the sound to Jackson Street, where he found you on your hands and knees, screaming unintelligible words. It was almost as if you were screaming at someone, not just something.
“(Y/N)!” He yelled again. You hadn’t heard him, and just kept on screaming your head off. Suddenly you stopped, and curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably. You were clutching something to your chest that Bill couldn’t quite see as he tried to ease you into sitting up.
“H-hey, it’s okay. It’s me.” You looked up at him, your face completely tear stained with mascara running down your cheeks. Bill’s heart clenched a little bit.
“What h-h-happened?” You jumped into his arms, and began sobbing all over again. “Shhh, it’s o-over now. T-the clown c-c-can’t hurt you any-anymore.” He whispered into your hair, trying to get you to relax a little bit. Your heavy breathing eased as your breaths became more even, and you sat back on your heels.
“It was Gretta.” You said, your throat feeling raw from screaming. “She was telling me all these horrible things, and I-I just lost it.” You hugged the book tight to your chest.
“Well,” Bill’s eyes darted from the book to you. “At least you got your artifact.” He smiled his same old smile, making you feel a little bit warm inside. That smile could make anything seem a little bit brighter.
206 notes · View notes
first-child-and-heir · 5 years ago
Text
𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻
Tumblr media
repost,  don’t reblog 
𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬
FULL NAME  Nikolay Glebevic Vaganov
PRONUNCIATION  Ni-ko-la-i Gleb-ev-itch Va-ga-nov     
NICKNAME  Niki
GENDER  Male.
HEIGHT  1.82m, 6′ 0″
AGE  In his main verse (vodka verse), he is born in 1924.
ZODIAC  Leo
SPOKEN LANGUAGES.    Russian, French, English, German
𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 
HAIR COLOR  Golden blond
EYE COLOR  Romanov blue
SKIN TONE  Fair
BODY TYPE  Tall, lean, athletic
ACCENT  His “r” is a little French sounding
VOICE  Commanding, not very deep
DOMINANT HAND  Right hand
POSTURE  Ramrod straight, befitting a prince and military man
SCARS  He loses his right leg from just above the knee in WWII
TATTOOS  None
BIRTHMARKS  None
MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S)    His tight golden curls, contrasting with the black ones of his siblings and father; the Romanov eyes
𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 
PLACE OF BIRTH  Paris, France
HOMETOWN  Paris, but hails from Petersburg and Yekaterinburg
BIRTH WEIGHT  Barely 3 kilograms
BIRTH HEIGHT  Small
MANNER OF BIRTH  Early due to great emotional distress of his mother
FIRST WORDS  Mama
SIBLINGS  One older brother, Ilya, a younger brother, Aleksandr, and a little sister, Ekaterina 
PARENTS  Maria Romanova and Gleb Vaganov
PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT  His father was as involved as his mother, if not more so, especially when it came to nutrition
𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 
OCCUPATION  Grand Duke/Prince (depending on wether or not in the verse he was born before or after the law of Tsar Aleksandr III that allowed grand Dukes and Duchesses only from the male line)
CURRENT RESIDENCE  Either Paris or Petersburg
CLOSE FRIENDS  His brother Ilya, and his first cousin, Maria Dmitryevna Sudayeva
RELATIONSHIP STATUS  Married after WWII (vodka verse), multiple affairs during the Napoleonic wars (red wine verse)
FINANCIAL STATUS  Extremely rich
DRIVER’S LICENSE  Yes 
CRIMINAL RECORD  None
VICES  Trickster, lies often, stubborn and pig-headed
𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 
SEXUAL ORIENTATION  Straight
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION  Heteroromantic
PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE  submissive |  dominant |  switch
PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE  submissive  |  dominant  |  switch
LIBIDO  Extremely high
TURN ON’S  Intelligence, sharp wit, courage to stand up to him despite his titles, forwardness, cockiness
TURN OFF’S  Coddling him and pitying him because of his disability, or trying to act as if it’s not there
LOVE LANGUAGE  Physical touch, eye contact
RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES  He is insecure, and thinks being an amputee broke him and made him unlovable; lives with the fear that whoever is with him is only there fo his birthright
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 
CHARACTER’S THEME SONG  Put your head on my shoulder - Paul Anka, and Welcome Home (Finale) from Bandstand
HOBBIES TO PASS TIME  Playing his violin, dancing before he lost his leg
MENTAL ILLNESSES  PTSD
PHYSICAL ILLNESSES  His only physical problems are his lost leg
LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED  Right
PHOBIAS  That his parents an s/o never really loved him
SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL  Extremely high, plumeted after the war, never really reached previous levels
VULNERABILITIES  His insecurity and his loved ones
TAGGED BY:  @perhiistoria (love you, xo)
TAGGING:  @theroyalmcss @clever-russianrat (Dmitry) @gratiamdei (pick an Anne) @heartlosttravelers (Pierre) @prochncst​ @dcarhcarts (Sonya) (if you want to)
3 notes · View notes
humanitys-shortest · 6 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
✨Simself Tag!!✨
I was tagged by the lovely @shyysims to do the Simself Tag, so here we go with the 125 bloody questions! (I commend whoever came up with all of them, because that’s a lot of brain power that I do not possess.) But! I’m so excited to do this, so thank you so much shyysims!! (●´ω`●)
I will tag @calsea-ger, @alienshootlove, @wolfy-drawsstuff, @hallucinosims and @stories4sims - of course, you don’t have too! Only if you wanna & have the spare time. :D
Rules: You have to make a simself and include whatever you wish (like traits or anything about you) Then answer the following questions!! (✿◠‿◠)
And heeeree weee go~
Traits: creative, coffee lover(I liked the icon bcuz I love warm drinks but I actually hate coffee dont sue me), geek, music lover, a photo album, geek, loner, hearts(cuz I’m full of love duh) and bookworm!
I also included my aspiration - to become a photographer. 
What is your full name? Charlotte
What is your nickname? Char, Lottie, and Petey!
Birthday? February 22nd
What is your favorite book series? ..Twilight..
Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Yep!
Who is your favorite author? I wish I could say J.K Rolling but I’ll go with Stephenie Meyer cuz Twilight fueld my younger teenage years.
What is your favorite radio station? Heaven knows
What is your favorite flavor of anything? Wellllll s’kinda confusing! I love chocolate flavoured ice-cream but I can’t have chocolate flavoured crisps, can I? I’m just gonna go with chocolate. 🍫
What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? awesomeeee possssummmm
What is your current favorite song? Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine
What is your favorite word? coolio
What was the last song you listened to? Lisztomania by Phoenix 
What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Gotham!!
What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? The Amazing Spider-Man
Do you play video games? Yessiree
What is your biggest fear? Moths & heights
What is your best quality, in your opinion? my storytelling? I’m pretty proud of the ideas I come up with, if that means anything. xD
What is your worst quality, in your opinion? S’always overthinking everything.
Do you like cats or dogs better? kitty
What is your favorite season? Autumn & Winter - can’t chooseeee!!
Are you in a relationship? Yep :)
What is something you miss from your childhood? I relate with @shyysims’ last answer - friends, lmao.
Who is your best friend? My Amber
What is your eye color? Dark brown
What is your hair color? Dark brown
Who is someone you love? My boyf and my bestfriend
Who is someone you trust? The above :)
Who is someone you think about often? Jack Napier
Are you currently excited about/for something? AVENGERS INFINITY WAR TRAILER POSSIBLY DROPPING TOMORROW
What is your biggest obsession? rn, batjokes ofc!!
What was your favorite TV show as a child? Ed, Edd and Eddy & Rugratz. c:
Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My s/o
Are you superstitious? kinda?
Do you have any unusual phobias? Not that I can think of? Ooh! I hate it when a single strand of hair lands on my skin or something. It freaks me out cuz it feels weird.
Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind. I take the photos, I ain’t in them :P
What is your favorite hobby? Writing! Followed by gaming!!
What was the last book you read? Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them (script)
What was the last movie you watched? Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes Of Grindelwald
What musical instruments do you play, if any? The triangle.
What is your favorite animal? Wolves! I also rlly rlly love deers and elephants.
What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? mellie, freddie-luthor, wolfy, elijah & smolbeanjoker :)
What superpower do you wish you had? The power of SELF DAMN CONFIDENCE
When and where do you feel most at peace? Anywhere my s/o is.
What makes you smile? Jack Napier :)
What sports do you play, if any? I used to really love playing basketball and cricket. S’been ages.
What is your favorite drink? Any kind of hot chocolate. :)
When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? October for my bestfriends birthday. :D
Are you afraid of heights? b o i 
What is your biggest pet peeve? Liars?
Have you ever been to a concert? Not with this anxiety I haven’t 
Are you vegan/vegetarian? No. but full respect to those who are :)
When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? When I was in primary school, a zoo-keeper... high-school, an author.
What fictional world would you like to live in? The fuckin Harry Potter world please.
What is something you worry about? Life
Are you scared of the dark? Not really
Do you like to sing? Yep! But can I? Nope.
Have you ever skipped school? Uhh yes
What is your favorite place on the planet? My bed
Where would you like to live? Anywhere near a forest/woodland. Honestly Arcadia Bay is my aesthetic.
Do you have any pets? One doggo, three kitto’s.
Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? twittwoo
Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets
Do you know how to drive? No :c
Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds
Have you ever had braces? Nada
What is your favorite genre of music? The LIS Soundtrack is a genre of music, right?
Who is your hero? Peter Parker.
Do you read comic books? What do you think if my account is based on Batman hmmmm
What makes you the most angry? Liars
Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book
What is your favorite subject in school? Media
Do you have any siblings? two sisters, two brothers
What was the last thing you bought? a selection box. for myself. no no m’actually sharing with @crycel ;)
How tall are you? 5′3
Can you cook? Toast? Yes.
What are three things that you love? My boyfriend, my bestfriend and Jack Napier
What are three things that you hate? liars, my lack of self confidence n’ belief, and widowmaker auto-lockers
Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female
What is your sexual orientation? pink yellow and blue baby
Where do you currently live? tea land
Who was the last person you texted? Ammmbaaah
When was the last time you cried? Last week?
Who is your favorite YouTuber? Depends on my mood! But recently it’s Shane
Do you like to take selfies? I do, because I really wanna try and bring my self confidence up. Buuuut most of the time it fails and I just feel worse about myself god dammit
What is your favorite app? tech not an app but ao3
What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?
What is your favorite foreign accent? Aussies!!
What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Bristol. To see my bestfriend.
What is your favorite number? 7
Can you juggle? xD
Are you religious? no
Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? Outer space 
Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Absolutely not
Are you allergic to anything? Some sort of washing power lmao my skin doesn’t likey much
Can you curl your tongue? nuuu
Can you wiggle your ears? nuuuuuuuu
How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? As soon as I realize I am
Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest
What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? always try and see the good side of things
Are you a good liar? Mehhhh
What is your Hogwarts House? HUFFLEPOOF
Do you talk to yourself? not really?
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 
Do you keep a journal/diary? used too! Now I have scrapbooks, if thats any consolation 
Do you believe in second chances? Yes. But it’s got me into trouble, lmao
If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Turn it in somewhere, whatever shop/place is closest if they’re trustworthy
Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes and no
Are you ticklish? ...no
Have you ever been on a plane? Hell no
Do you have any piercings? all natural bby
What fictional character do you wish was real? Peter Parker. (but i’m the female version of him okay)
Do you have any tattoos? Not yet
What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? HAH
Do you believe in karma? aye
Do you wear glasses or contacts? I think I need glasses tbf
Do you want children? no, my sim bbies are my children. and my cats.
Who is the smartest person you know? my bestfriend (sorry boyf)
What is your most embarrassing memory? we don’t go there
Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? what’s sleep? at least, CONISTENT HOURS of sleep?
What color are most of you clothes? Black from my emo days, but now I’m really into yellows and soft colours
Do you like adventures? Yessss, as long as I’m with someone I feel safe with
Have you ever been on TV? I hope not
How old are you? 19
What is your favorite quote? “ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” or  “worrying means you suffer twice”
Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Sweet
YAY
19 notes · View notes
kaorei-endgame · 6 years ago
Note
Ranking of Resident Evil save room themes?
I got my first latte of the season, it’s chilly enough to wear pants indoors, #Streamtober started yesterday. LET’S DO THIS, NICK. >:O 
youtube
17. Resident Evil 6 Chapter Ends, All Characters: Back to the cabbage patch. None of you are valid, with your Netflix Original knock-off of some ABC knock-off of 24-ass soundtrack. Go suck a giraffe’s dick with an Ada clone, Jake Muller.
youtube
16. Resident Evil, Deadly Silence: What is this Resident Evil for Babiez? Nintendogz+ResidentEvilz? Imagine listening to this on the crappy DS speakers. Wasn’t there something creepy about Jill’s costume in this game, like you could tear pieces of it off, or am I just conjuring fall memories and combining them with how they went out of the way to add boob bounce to the REmake 15 years after the fact, and now Jill’s boobs on PS4 undulate languidly beneath her shirt like a pair of Dragon Quest Slimes yearning to be free. This track: aural despair, unleavened. A way to quickly induce nausea in dogs who have eaten chocolate or raisins.
youtube
15. Resident Evil 6, Ada Chapter End: Well, okay, this one is all right. The first fifteen seconds feel like a HiFi version of a track from those Playstation 1 top-down shooters where you played a murder clown or a pyro guy escaping a space prison where you were held for crimes you definitely DID commit. The little background jog kicks in soon after and look, I’m a soft sell for ululation, what can I say.** But it just all just serves to stir memories like embers finally gone to smolder beneath the fireplace ash, stoking them after all these years, reminding me what a weird psycho they turned Ada into in this game. I like reflecting on how people got so mad about there not being co-op in Ada’s campaign that Capcom patched in a partner but his name is like “TeamMate” or “Buddy” and he has no lines of dialogue and is never addressed in the story in any way and thus is either a figment of Ada’s imagination or he’s a real dude who’s just pretty quiet and ultimately drowned on that sub? Well, I guess life’s tough if you’re the (potentially imagination) friend of an ex-spy turned pod person.
**(i contacted my musician friend, Kylie, who confirmed that ululation  was the term i was thinking of, lest i second guess myself. at the same time, i’ll post her text here lest i misrepresent her words “Yeah, ululate as a technical term is vibrato using the tongue, so that would be wrong, but ululate as a descriptor refers to a sound that has a very pronounced waver between tones to it.” cool! i’ve often wondered if that’s the most accurate way to describe it. thanks Kylie!! :D)
youtube
14. Resident Evil Revelations 2: Claire gets the best costumes probably across the whole series and yet it feels like she’s gotten the least love of all the main cast. I never really got it, she looks good in denim, whether jacket or pant, and her Revelations 2 blazer does her all the favors. But now they’re remaking RE2 and they turned her face into this weird porcelain Precious Moments dol—MY BELOVED DAUGHTER. MY MOIRA. I SWEAR I’LL FIND YOU. FOR THE SAKE OF JBLL I WILL AVENGE YOU AND THE OTHER ONE.
youtube
13. Resident Evil 0: What’s with all the shivery whiney stuff. Like your younger sibling running nails down the chalkboard of your spine, like how the speed run of this game hinges on juggling an evasive bat with 5 out of the 6 flame rounds on hand, so try. Neither relaxing nor scary. Do I hear something like a bongo in the distance? That is the clarion call of Becky Chamber’s goose booty coming home to roost.
youtube
12. Resident Evil 7: I had a dream last night about this game. If you have phobias about glass and/or mouths and/or wasp genitals, I would skip this paragraph. I was in the house where you have to run away from the mom with the disgusting wasp hive vagina. Also—unrelated and yet somehow related, as dreams always are—I had opened a beer bottle in such a way that the stem broke. I had decided to drink it anyway and now, as I progressed through the house, I found that there seemed to be endless small slivers of glass in my mouth that I had to repeatedly spit out lest they cut me. When I woke up, my jaw was clenched to the point of soreness. Welcome to the family, I guess. Otherwise this save room music reminds me of the game itself: mostly dull and barely there.
youtube
11. Resident Evil Revelations: Item Box Music, only Save Room Adjcanet. Can’t disassociate this from the “swish-swish-swish-SHUCK” sound effects of navigating menus to equip Charge Shot 2 to my Shotgun. Not as pleasing or as integrated into my bone marrow as  the Resident Evil 3 equivalent, but I have probably played this game through thirteen or fourteen times at this point. Life is short and yet the strings of fate tug us the directions they will.
youtube
10. Resident Evil 5: Again, this is menu music. No save rooms at all in this game. Anyway I have no inherent memory of this song because I’m sure I’ve talked over it while upgrading my M92FS to 100 bullet capacity 110% of the times I’ve played this game. Exempted from higher echelon of rankings on these technicalities, but still A POOR PERFORMANCE INDEED for Not The Best Resident Evil Yet Paradoxically The One That’s Given Me The Most Joy In My life.
youtube
9. Resident Evil, Dead Aim
: Wow I almost can’t believe I don’t remember this despite playing this game enough to write a speedrun guide for it. Well, that was the style at the time. As was a bloated zombie corpse boss, I suppose (long before Left 4 Dead, those copy cats), whose weak spot was its exposed brain which, halfway through the fight when you’d done enough damage, would pop out and dance a sprightly jig on its brainstem every time you shot it. With the whisper of wind and rain and single intermittent synth I feel like I’m living in a cyberpunk future and not a game whose protagonist’s “””cajun””” accent is as questionable as its presentation of the antagonist’s gender.
youtube
8. Resident Evil, Umbrella Chronicles
: Hey now, weird bit of the creepy-freaky bass here kind of does put you in a certain headspace, but it’s not the headspace i remember of this game, which was basically unplayable in co-op for the final 3rd because a failed QTE would result in a hunter slicing away half your health. Good for an Into the Breach playlist to keep you focused on the action and stop you from trying to play it while also binging a Netflix show about werewolves that you didn’t really like anyway, and splitting your attention between visual mediums is just getting Good Pilots Killed.
youtube
7. Resident Evil 2: Ominous. Maybe TOO Ominous at points. Aren’t save rooms about being safe? I guess we could argue that because the save room reflects the lacuna of safety  BING BONG piano is the Try Hard version of video game music asking “you scurred yet?” Perhaps a novice mistake from a first-time director who would go on to do so many great things (well, RE2 among them, no lie). In a way, this fits with Rookie Cop Leon S. Kennedy, and anyway it’s so over the top I’m kind of okay with it. Most innervating when first heard on your way to equip a cowgirl costume for fast-firing six-shooter action. Guns suck, and cowboys too, but both are okay if we experience them in the abstract sense. This is what culture teaches us. Fan the trigger.
youtube
6. Resident Evil 4: A surprisingly gentle one, considering the series turn towards action from which it would never recover. I am transported to the early minutes of a horror movie where the audience knows something the protagonist doesn’t about the terror that’s about to befall them while they blithely pick up a desiccated nudie mag in an old shed on a haunted property they inherited from their estranged uncle, more focused on the “ballistics” before them than the axe murderer crouched in the shadows of disused farm equipment behind.
youtube
5. Resident Evil 3, Nemesis: More languid riff on 2. Strings get you shivery, and no more than a single BONG per two measures proves that save room music is as much about the notes you DON’T play. Two bongs to scare, but one bong to keep you on your toes, disallowing you from getting *too* relaxed by the soothing bleeps and bloops as you combine the 3 Gunpowder As you just found to make sure you have enough ammo to pistol-juke the so-called unkillable Nemesis. You’re not coward, but that doesn’t make you brave. Discretion is the better part of valor, they say, but that’s not taking into account that non-discretiony valor rewards you directly with a faster-firing pistol with critical headshots. :3
youtube
4. Resident Evil 1, Vanilla: Gentle, plucky strings make you question your memory, more familiar with later revisions than you are this one. How often was I in this place? Or does its primacy belie its immediacy? If I went to the strange, pointless closet around the corner from this medicine save room, would I find a broken shotgun I expect there, a round of magnum ammo, or simply the ghost of discarded aspirations masking as memories. I recall a time when it felt like time was enough, but then again, this was back when anything sub-three hours would get you the infinite rocket launcher, regardless of how many First Aid Sprays you used.
youtube
3. Resident Evil 1, REmake: High fidelity version of RE1’s gentle strings remind you of simpler times when your worst fears were zombies resurrecting into scarier, faster zombies with claws. What we wouldn’t give to go back to those days, and maybe tell ourselves not to take out so much student debt. Listening to this sends a pulse of gentle energy through my shoulder blades that makes me think “relaxation,” though I’m not sure my body understands the meaning of the word. A respite in trying eras, there is no association with the tension of shaving 15 minutes off your time to be competitive. “Safe Heaven,” they call it; a theme for a place that is not our own, but should be.
youtube
2. Resident Evil 1, Director’s Cut: Wow I did not expect music box chimes and tones stirs something ancestral in my blood. I’ve played the Director’s Cut far more times than the original RE1 and this is like coming home to a big house where I enjoyed an idyllic childhood, but I now know every box is filled with the creepy knife doll from Onimusha. Though these senations are foreign to me, something about them inspires a thirst for a homeland I never knew.
youtube
1. Resident Evil Code Veronica: The absolute chillest. In life, paths may wind, but the ultimate  The strings are tickling your spine. You’re so relaxed you feel like oiling your ponytail, and you could even take a nap in Steve Burnside’s arms without reflexively gagging. When you hear this, you are at peace, and the world seems like a place that can be kind. Truly, the Code is Veronica.
and don’t forget to vote in our poll on whether or not we’re playing Claire A or Leon A tonight!
7 notes · View notes
xisaiahcruz · 3 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
A B O U T  I S A I A H 
full name: Isaiah Andres Cruz 
nickname(s): Zay 
reason for name: ‘Isaiah’ translates to ‘God is my Salvation,’ and being the first born to his mother Sofia during what was the hardest part of her life. The name ‘Andres’ means ‘brave & manly,’ which his mother chose because she needed someone brave with her, and even though he was a little boy, he helped her get through her toughest days. 
date of birth: December 19th, 1988
age: 32
gender + pronouns: Male + He/Him
place of birth: Atlanta, Georgia 
Parents: John Mark Cruz, Sofia Valencia 
siblings: Two younger step sisters, Andrea & Cherry 
moral alignment: Chaotic Good 
Scent: Dirty English by Juicy Coutoure 
relationship with family (close? estranged?): Isaiah is extremely close with his mother and two sisters. His step-father, however, he tries hard with but the man wants nothing to do with him.
pets:  N/A
P H Y S I C A L
 height: 6’0”
build: Muscular
Nationality: Asian
ethnicity: Filipino-Chinese 
distinguishing facial features: Jawbone.
hair color: Black
usual hair style: Long & messy, typically pulled back into a ponytail or bun
eye color: Deep brown
complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birthmarks, scars): Deep milky complexion, scars of various sizes up and down his body from fighting, light freckles spread delicately throughout his chest and back 
disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses): N/A
what do they consider their best feature?: His smile.
worst they’ve ever been injured (what, how did it happen)?: Growing up, he used to get involved in illegal street fighting, so the number of injuries are infinite; there isn’t one specific incident that stands above the rest 
A P P E A R A N C E 
 favorite outfit: Tank top and basketball shorts
glasses? contacts?: Both, but contacts are usually for work.
personal hygiene: Showers daily, is a bit lax on haircuts and shaving.
jewelry? tattoos? Piercings?: None.
what does their voice sound like?: Soft, but full of childlike wonder 
style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.): Informal and full of filler words (uh, um, etc), 
accent?: N/A
unique mannerisms/physical habits: 
left handed or right?: Right
do they work out/exercise?: Yes! Weightlifting and MMA
beliefs & intellect 
known languages: English & Tagalog 
zodiac: 
gifts/talents: Lifting heavy things 
religious stance: 
political stance: 
pet peeves: 
optimist or pessimist: Optimist
extrovert or introvert: Extrovert
I N T I M A C Y & R E L A T I O N S H I P S 
relationship status: Single
sexual orientation: Straight
ideal mate/qualities they look for in mate: 
ever been in love?: 
what’s their love language?: 
most important person in their life?: 
V O C A T I O N 
level of education: GED; Locksmith licensure 
profession: Locksmith
past occupations: Stockboy, animal handler
dream occupation: Father or teacher
passions: Making people happy 
attitude towards current job: He enjoys it! There is a bit more brawn than brain going into it, it pays more than anything else he’d ever done, and he likes helping people.
spender or saver? Why?: Saver. He doesn’t know what he’s saving for, and he doesn’t have an exact plan or method toward saving; he just never had the opportunity to spend frivolously. 
which is more important – money or doing something they love?: Doing something he loves.
S E C R E T S 
phobias: His mom dying and sisters becoming estranged.
life goals: To go hang gliding and sailing. 
greatest fears: Not being able to discover his utmost potential.
most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her:  He’s not embarrassed about having to drop out of high school to help support his mother but the way his step-father mocks him about his lack of textbook education makes him feel ashamed.
something they’ve never told anyone: He’s doesn’t have the planets in the solar system memorized.
biggest regret: None.
compulsions: Rambling, due to his inability to end conversations naturally.
police/criminal/legal record: There’s...some marks on there, mainly disorderly conduct due to getting caught fighting and attending illegal fights.
Vices: Falling into peer pressure
P R E F E R E N C E S 
hobbies: Television, working out, watching dogs at the park
favorite color: Blue
favorite smell: Peaches 
favorite food: Pansit & Lechon
favorite book: Fantastic Mr. Fox
favorite movie: N/A
favorite song: Lovefool- The Cardigans 
coffee or tea?: Neither
favorite type of weather: Summer! High 80’s, shorts and the beach
+ Easy-going, Helpful, Kind
- Naive, Ignorant, Sensitive 
0 notes
todobaku-shoukat · 8 years ago
Text
Date
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11043168/
Todoroki and Bakugou go on their first date to the amusement park
Part 1
Going to an amusement park for a first date had seemed overly stereotypical. However, neither of them have been to one. Todoroki was busy being forced by his father to train, while Bakugou was busy training himself. Besides, a new amusement park had opened recently. It was part of some initiative to combine quirks with more traditional forms of entertainment. And so, a date at the amusement park was in order.
 The amusement park had extremely exacting standards of security. At the entrance, they had to sign an acknowledgement and agreement of risks, and consented to the use of quirks on themselves. They also had to wear a retainer around their wrists that prevented them from using their quirks in case the quirk interfered with the running of the park. The retainers allowed them to be warped into the amusement park. Should they remove the retainers, they would be warped back out. It was a system to allow the smooth running of the park without putting it at risk of villain attacks.
 As they entered the park, Todoroki noticed that there was a distinct lack of rollercoaster tracks. He had heard that rollercoasters were the main attraction of any amusement park, and that the tracks were the most conspicuous and iconic feature. As it was both their first time there, Todoroki and Bakugou weren’t sure what to do first. Thus, they decided to just start from what was the closest, and it happened to be a rather quaint haunted house. As heroes-in-training that have had as many run-ins with villains as they’ve had, they were not fazed at all. But as they entered the haunted house, they felt a chill run down their spines.
 Bakugou felt a cold breath on the back of his neck and he immediately slapped a hand over the area as he swivelled around to find the culprit. There was nobody there, but Bakugou still felt the cold wind on his neck under his palm. Narrowing his eyes in the pitch-black darkness, Bakugou growled for the offender to show itself. His growls echo back at him, louder and creepier, like a feral starving pack of wolves. Bakugou feels like he’s on edge and he’s surprised at his own reaction. There was nothing scary about a dark room or a random breeze at his neck. This was nothing compared to being kidnapped by the League of Villains.
 Yet, the fear and trepidation were much more. Bakugou felt his heart beating frantically in his chest, as if it was a small bird trying to force its way out of a cage. He began to sweat profusely. Bakugou felt beads of perspiration trickle down his temple and his palms grew slick with sweat. He would have been worried of accidentally setting off an explosion if he wasn’t wearing a retainer.
 “Todoroki?” Bakugou called hesitantly as he reached out around himself, trying to locate the other. There was no response. “Hey! Half-and-half bastard! Don’t ignore me!”
 Still, there was no reply, except the echoing of his own voice booming dementedly.
 Suddenly, there was a flash of searing white light. Bakugou shielded his eyes instinctively, throwing an arm over his eyes. Bakugou blinked the white spots out of eyes as he took in the brighten room. It was a familiar room. As Bakugou tried to move forward to explore the room, he found himself tied to a chair. He wanted to shout, but found his mouth gagged. Bakugou found himself back in the room that the League of Villains had held him captive in.
 Bakugou took a deep breath, trying to rationalise. At the back of his mind, Bakugou knew that this was mostly the work of an emotion manipulator and illusionist. However, the sound of his own heartbeat drumming in his ears stopped him from reaching that conclusion.
 On the other hand, Todoroki found himself back in his childhood training room. His father was there, all big and looming and dominating presence.
 “You better run faster. What use are you if you’re always so slow?” His father’s voice thundered and reverberated in the small room. Todoroki felt small. He knew in his heart that he has already overcome his fear for his father. Yet, Todoroki felt his heart clench in apprehension.
 Suddenly, his mother was in the room, mouth parting to reveal two rows of razor sharp teeth. Her voice is full of disgust as she spat, “You’re so worthless! Even with that revolting left side of yours, you will never amount to anything!”
 Todoroki felt bile rising in his throat and tears filling his eyes. His father has a hand around his mother’s neck, her head twisted in an odd direction, and threatening him to beat All Might. Todoroki shook his head. He had visited his mother recently. They have reconciled and resolved all misunderstandings.
 This is not real.
 Todoroki has gotten over all these already. These were no longer his biggest fear. And suddenly, it was not his mother in his father’s hands, but an unconscious and beaten Bakugou. Endeavour held Bakugou by his collar, lips curling into a sinister smirk. Crimson blood was flowing richly from Bakugou’s head, and his clothes were torn and tattered. There was a large bruise blooming around his wrists and neck as if he had been tied up and tortured.
 It made blood boil in Todoroki’s veins.
 “You know you only like this boy because of his quirk. Because he is like your father. All you want is for me to acknowledge you, isn’t it? He’s just like me, you know.” Endeavour cackled as he swung Bakugou across the room. Bakugou lands with a loud crunch, body contorted painfully.
 “Fuck you! You don’t know anything about me or Bakugou! I won’t give in to you! You may be my father but I sure as hell don’t see you as one!” Todoroki snarled, raising his right hand as if to attack. Reality had melted away, and all that was on Todoroki’s mind was him, his father, and his boyfriend.
 And then, everything was on fire. Throngs of flames licked at the floor, swallowing every combustible material in its path. It consumed the dreadful treadmill he spent hours of his days running on, and continued to spread upwards. The ceiling had started to crumble and Todoroki scrambled desperately towards Bakugou. The pungent smell of smoke choked his lungs as he gasped for air. It stung his eyes and he started to tear. Gently cradling Bakugou in his arms, Todoroki made a mad dash towards the door. He turned the back of his shoulder to the door, bracing for impact.
 But none came. Instead, Todoroki found himself out of the haunted house holding nothing. He buckled over, taking in deep breaths as his senses returned to him, wondering what on earth was all that. As he returned to himself, Todoroki asked the person manning the attraction where Bakugou was. All he received in reply was that Bakugou has yet to finish the haunted house, and a brochure of the attraction.
 Todoroki browsed through the brochure and learned that the haunted house was operated by a family of illusionists and emotion manipulators. The illusionists could not see the illusions, giving some sort of privacy. But they could make use of the individual’s different experiences and fears, no matter how irrational and insignificant, and turn them into nightmares with the help of the emotion manipulators. Maybe they should have done more research before coming, but Todoroki hadn’t expected the amusement park to be so hardcore. However, the haunted house was probably not made for traumatised teenagers, but rather kids with benign phobias like of ghosts and spiders.
 As he thought back on his own experience, Todoroki was worried about how well Bakugou was faring.
 As Todoroki had gotten out, Bakugou had found himself in the same old nightmare. He dreamt of his villain encounters often, how the Sludge Villain had filled his lungs, how he was caught despite having his own protection squad, how he had come so close to escaping but was ultimately trapped. He remembered how the League of Villains had withheld food and water from him, and how his throat burned with thirst and stomach turned on itself. He remembered how he came so close to the hands that could shatter him into a million tiny pieces, slowly and painfully. And he remembered how it is his fault that All Might had to retire.
 Because he was inferior. And because of his fucking pride despite being so fucking useless. Because he couldn’t do anything, yet refused help, Bakugou was tied up and caught again.
 Bakugou felt like he was submerged underwater. Like he was forgetting something as his brain became numb to anything that is not associated with his fear and insecurities. He felt like he was drowning.
 And there, in front of him, was Shigaraki Tomura. Shigaraki’s voice drawled as he asked Bakugou to join the League of Villains. The scene had repeated countless times in Bakugou’s dreams. Every time, he refuses. Sometimes, his friends would swoop in and save him. Other times, he’d see them all die as he is compressed into a marble again.
 But this time, when he refused, Shigaraki has Todoroki’s face in his palm. The threat lay heavy in the air. There was a pause. And then, Todoroki’s face began to crumble.
 Bakugou didn’t want to give up on his ideals. But he didn’t want to give up on Todoroki and what they could have either.  No one was going to get hurt because of him again. He will protect them. He will.
 But Bakugou could not even use his quirk. And even if he could, he was only good at destroying. He couldn’t save or rescue anybody. Bakugou began to hyperventilate. He was weak, so weak. Bakugou thinks to himself. He will get stronger. He will become number one and protect all that he cares about.
 His heart rate began to slow down unnaturally as everything began to fade. The illusions disappear, and Bakugou found himself in an empty room as an emotion manipulator and nurse came in to check on him. He was fine, he told them. He just needed some time to come back into himself. He felt a wave of calm washing over him and decided to accept the help. He knew better than to make a fool of himself.
 When he felt better, they told him that Todoroki was waiting for him outside. Bakugou tried to hide the relief he felt from knowing that Todoroki was safe, but he knew they could feel it. When Bakugou was reunited with Todoroki, they both gave each other a subtle once-over. Deeming each other fine, they quickly walked away from the haunted house.
 “That was an experience,” Todoroki said, unsure about what to do.
 Bakugou shuddered and replied with mock nonchalance, “It was stupid.”
 Taking in Bakugou’s demeanour, Todoroki understood how he felt. “Can we hold hands?”
 Bakugou raised an eyebrow. Do couples hold hands on their first date?
 “I’m still not over the haunted house yet…” Todoroki replied. Indeed, he wasn’t. And he knew Bakugou wasn’t either.
 Bakugou mocked a wry smile and gratefully held on to Todoroki’s outstretched hand. A light blush dusted his cheeks when Todoroki intertwined their hands, but Bakugou did not protest. He would not admit it, but he needed the touch as much as Todoroki did. Todoroki’s hands were warm and comforting, and it calmed it immensely and naturally.
 “So… where to next?”
7 notes · View notes
verytamenow · 8 years ago
Note
1-155
1:Name - Zoe
2:Age - 24
3:3 Fears - Spiders, Heights, Death (lowkey)
4:3 things I love - The sound of a rain storm, Being able to sleep in, Chocolate
5:4 turns on - Confidence, Cuddling, Kindness, Intelligence
6:4 turns off - Cruelty, Bigotry, Rudeness, Unwillingness to listen
7:My best friend - I don’t think I have one.
8:Sexual orientation - Really really really fucking gay
9:My best first date - Haven’t had one.
10:How tall am I - 5′5″
11:What do I miss - A lot of things when I let myself dwell on them. 
12:What time were I born - I honestly have no clue. Is this information people usually have off the top of their head?
13:Favourite color - Blue at the moment
14:Do I have a crush - No.
15:Favourite quote - “It is what it is” / “This too shall pass” / “But the monsters turned out to be just trees”
16:Favourite place - The beach, or by any body of water. Or curled up in bed on a lazy day while it storms.
17:Favourite food - Strawberries.
18:Do I use sarcasm - Who? Me?
19:What am I listening to right now - Road noise
20:First thing I notice in new person - Their smile
21:Shoe size - 8-9
22:Eye color - Blue
23:Hair color - Dark blonde
24:Favourite style of clothing - I kind of live in tshirts and jeans but I really like a sharper look - like suits.
25:Ever done a prank call? - No
27:Meaning behind my URL - There isn’t one? It’s my favourite place, favourite animal, and year of my birth.
28:Favourite movie - Oh this is difficult. The Alien Series, Harry Potter, or Silence of the Lambs
29:Favourite song - Losing My Religion - REM
30:Favourite band - Right now Taylor is my favourite singer, but in terms of bands I’d say the Killers at the moment.
31:How I feel right now - Neutral.
32:Someone I love - My dad.
33:My current relationship status - Single.
34:My relationship with my parents - Good if we haven’t pissed each other off.
35:Favourite holiday - I don’t really have one.
36:Tattoos and piercing i have - None. Not even my ears pierced.
37:Tattoos and piercing i want - Something for my mom, grandfather, and dad. But the monsters turned out to be just trees in Taylor’s handwriting. And maybe something else.
38:The reason I joined Tumblr - Kaylor tbh.
39:Do I and my last ex hate each other? - No, not at all.
40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - I’ll sometimes say goodnight or goodmorning to my friends but usually? No.
41:Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No.
42:When did I last hold hands? - In a way that wasn’t platonic? Never.
43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Technically 30-45 minutes.
44:Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - No. I’m single and live in jeans so I’d rather not deal with the hassle.
45:Where am I right now? - In my bed.
46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - I don’t drink but if it happened, probably my dad at the moment if anyone.
47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Reasonable level but sometimes I’ll blast it in the car.
48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - Yes, unashamedly.
49:Am I excited for anything? - Not really. Maybe the upcoming Alien movie.
50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No.
51:How often do I wear a fake smile? - I don’t usually bother to fake it but I will if I have to.
52:When was the last time I hugged someone? - Last night.
53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Impossible.
54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - No.
55:What is something I disliked about today? - I have work.
56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - If anyone wants to introduce me to my future wife that would be cool. Short of that, meeting Taylor would be cool too.
57:What do I think about most? - Depends on the day.
58:What’s my strangest talent? - I don’t have talent.
59:Do I have any strange phobias? - I think my phobias are pretty typical.
60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - I suck at taking photos but I hate being in photos more. Just keep the camera away from me altogether.
61:What was the last lie I told? - Not sure. 
62:Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - I tend to be quiet on the phone so video chatting instead I guess.
63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I don’t not believe in ghosts and I think it’s a bit arrogant to write off the possibility of other intelligent life in space.
64:Do I believe in magic? - I don’t not believe in it. I believe spells are about as real and powerful as the idea of prayer, for whatever that’s worth.
65:Do I believe in luck? - Yes.
66:What's the weather like right now? - Clear skies and 60 out but it’s meant to hit the mid 80s.
67:What was the last book I've read? - No clue.
68:Do I like the smell of gasoline? - I don’t mind it.
69:Do I have any nicknames? - Not really. Most people don’t bother.
70:What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Probably just a scrape or cut. I’ve never broken anything or needed stitches.
71:Do I spend money or save it? - Save it usually.
72:Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - No.
73:Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? - No.
74:Favourite animal? - Wolves
75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Sleeping, thankfully
76:What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - I’ve never thought about it. I believe Morningstar is traditional.
77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Losing my Religion.
78:How can you win my heart? - Just fucking be there for me. Show up, be patient and kind. Falling for me first may help. 
79:What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - I don’t want a tombstone. But probably something snarky or a pun.
80:What is my favorite word? - In terms of use? Fuck.
81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr - This is hard. @princessandsunshine, @gaylorswift, @gay4tay, @shady-kaylor, @gay-romantics​
82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? -What the fuck? or Impeach the entire republican party.
83:Do I have any relatives in jail? - Not to my knowledge.
84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Omnilingualism or Probability Manipulation
85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - There’s a fair few to be honest.
86:What is my current desktop picture? - At work it’s a picture of the beach at my home town/
87:Had sex? - No
88:Bought condoms? - Yes
89:Gotten pregnant? - No thank fuck
90:Failed a class? - Yes more than once
91:Kissed a boy? - No
92:Kissed a girl? - No, sadly
93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - Nope
94:Had job? - Yes
95:Left the house without my wallet? - Yes. I’d lose my head if it weren’t attached some days.
96:Bullied someone on the internet? - No.
97:Had sex in public? - No.
98:Played on a sports team? - Briefly but sports aren’t my thing.
99:Smoked weed? - No
100:Did drugs? - No
101:Smoked cigarettes? - No
102:Drank alcohol? - Tried it but don’t care for it
103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - No but I have considered Vegetarianism. Or at least Pesco-Vegetarianism. 
104:Been overweight? - Yes.
105:Been underweight? - No.
106:Been to a wedding? - Yes.
107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes.
108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Yes.
109:Been outside my home country? - Yes, to England.
110:Gotten my heart broken? - Yes. It sucked. 
111:Been to a professional sports game? - Yes.
112:Broken a bone? - No, somehow.
113:Cut myself? - Not intentionally.
114:Been to prom? - No. I skipped mine.
115:Been in airplane? - Yes.
116:Fly by helicopter? - Yes
117:What concerts have I been to? - Rascal Flatts, The Killers, Coldplay at least twice, Snow Patrol, U2, No Doubt, Brooks & Dunn and Reba.
118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - Yes.
119:Learned another language? - No, sadly.
120:Wore make up? - Yes but I don’t enjoy it.
121:Lost my virginity before I was 18? - No.
122:Had oral sex? - No.
123:Dyed my hair? - Yes.
124:Voted in a presidential election? - No. Yes, I know with the last election but I accidentally missed the registration date because I’m a dumb ass.
125:Rode in an ambulance? - No, thank FUCK because it’d cost a fortune.
126:Had a surgery? - Yes. Deviated septum and wisdom tooth removal.
127:Met someone famous? - No.
128:Stalked someone on a social network? - No.
129:Peed outside? - No.
130:Been fishing? - No but I want to try it.
131:Helped with charity? - Yes.
132:Been rejected by a crush? - No because I keep crushes to myself usually.
133:Broken a mirror? - No.
134:What do I want for birthday? - I may just ignore mine.
135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names? - I don’t particularly want kids.
136:Was I named after anyone? - My grandmother and great grandmother
137:Do I like my handwriting? - No.
138:What was my favourite toy as a child? - As a little kid I’m not sure, probably legos. Once I was a bit older, probably my gameboy.
139:Favourite Tv Show? - X Files.
140:Where do I want to live when older? - Where can I afford? Ideally near my hometown but I’d never be able to afford it, so probably a house here.
141:Play any musical instrument? - No.
142:One of my scars, how did I get it? - I’ve got an old faint one on my knee but can’t remember how I got it.
143:Favourite pizza toping? - Pepperoni or Mushrooms
144:Am I afraid of the dark? - Not unless I wake up from a nightmare
145:Am I afraid of heights? - Yes.
146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - No
147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - Of course. That’s life.
148:What I'm really bad at - Everything.
149:What my greatest achievments are - I’ve survived over a decade with a brain that actively or passively wants to kill me but you can’t really put that on your resume.
150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - Not sure.
151:What I'd do if I won in a lottery - Pay off my car, buy a small house, pay off my dad’s house, set aside enough to go get a degree at a slow pace if I want, save and invest whatever might be left.
152:What do I like about myself - I’m a little more resilient than I think, I’m an asshole but not a cruel asshole
153:My closest Tumblr friend - probably @princessandsunshine
154:Something I fantasise about - That Thing
155:Any question you'd like? - You didn’t ask one, mate.
2 notes · View notes
brokenmusicboxwolfe · 8 years ago
Text
Alphabet tag...
Tagged by @theramblingrogue  Thanks!
I need to warn folks, not only do I tend to be too wordy, I’m depressed as I always am in the spring. Yes, it is still February, but this has been a freakishly warm winter with more days in the 70s than nights near freezing. I think winter ended a month ago. Like the ticks and mosquitoes I’m battling and the peach tress in full bloom, my body doesn’t care about calendars. Spring is my most miserable time of the year, so....
A - Age: Oh geez, do you have to ask THAT? I’m in the middle of a “I’m too old for anything good to ever happen to me. It’s too late for me to do anything I intended in my life. Death looms and there is nothing left to hope for.” mood. At 12 I learned that people would start to think you were “too old” for things, and it would just get worse and worse as you aged. I learned to look at my age sideways, sort of aware of being “about” so old but having to do the math to be specific. Ok, I goofed so that I ended up dealing with the shock of going from 29 to 31 because I’d lost count, but generally not thinking about exact age unless I have to has made life easier. I’m 40 something, but I refuse to think about it more closely today. 
B - Biggest fear: Doctors, nurses, dentists and other so called health care professionals. NOT of needles, surgery, and the rest but the hunan scum that abuse and misuse the power they have over you while you are so damned vulnerable. I have real reasons for my phobia of these cruel, sadistic, arrogant, peverted fools I’ve encountered. Now I am sure there are intelliegent and compassionate people in these preofessions that would never dream of inflicting shame, humiliation and a sense of violation but instead actually gove a damn about their patients. I have NEVER met one. I had experiences before I was 10 where a dentist would have been charged with assault if I’d been an adult and a doctor’s visit that felt like a rape and still causes anxiety attacks to think about. Quite literally every encounter I have personally had has been bad in some way. Even second hand has been less than reassuring with my mother battling 20 years before the asshole doctors stopped telling her she was imagining things when she was having micro stokes, my father misdiagnosed for more than six months despite us arguing it was NOT diabetes (pancreatic cancer!), my cousin given the wrong medicine that nearly killed her followed by all the records in the hospital disapearing, and....look, I could REALLY go on. Point is, I do realize my phobia is crippling. I haven’t been to a doctor in more than 20 years and know I will almost undoubtedly die of something treatable. But unless I find a way to send my body to the shop with my brain removed, I just have to learn to accept an early death.
C - Current time: 3:02 PM D - Drink you last had: water E - Every day starts with: going and getting the iPad to check the news while curled a few more minutes, mostly to put off strapping on my ankle braces F - Favourite song: I don’t really have a favorite. I like too many.

G - Ghosts, are they real: Saddly, no. As a little girl I adored “true” ghost stories, and read everything I could. Unfortunately I was also a skeptic by nature, and found myself debunking almost all of them. I wish I believed.

H - Home Town: Jamesville, NC ( NOT recommended )  I - In love with: no one and nothing. I have learned while a vague universal “love everything and everyone” is plesant, that any specific love only leads to endless pain. 
J - Jealous of: People that figure out how to focus their life on one goal or dream, then don’t have life distract them off achieving it. 

K - Killed someone: Only in fiction, but give me time.  L - Last time you cried: Today, thinking about my own worthlessness as my life spirals away from me. 
M - Middle name: Ann N - Number of siblings: 1 O - One wish: That I will one day do something I’m proud of and that there will be someone to notice and celebrate it with me. 
P - Person you last called/texted: Mom Q - Questions you’re always asked: “Are you back?” (Mom when she comes in my house after the last time she saw me was heading out for the woods,)
R - Reasons to smile: To make someone feel better? Because it is the socially expected response and someone is looking at you? Drugs or insanity? Someone attaches hooks to points along your mouth and pulls them so that the corners turn upwards? How the hell should I know! I’m depressed?!
S - Song last sang: Theme song to Fraggle Rock while Mom and I were watching it the other day. I was sooooo embarrassed! Between the teens that picked on me when the caught preschool me singing songs I used to make up and that music teacher in school that repeatedly made a thing out of loudly insisting I sing, then even louder telling me not to, I try NEVER to sing when anyone will hear. 
T - Time you woke up: 8:20something, I don’t keep a clock in my room U - Underwear colour: umm, let me check...pink 
V- Vacation destination: No vacations likely in the foreseeable future. W - Worst habit: LOL Do you really want me to list everything about myself? X - X-rays you’ve had: leg and teeth Y - Your favourite food: I don’t have a single favorite, but favorites in different catagories, like... favorite seafood-lobster,  favorite berry-raspberry,  favorite greens-chard,  favorite thing(s) at that Japanese place we go to- east roll and seaweed salad...and so on....

Z - Zodiac sign: Sagittarius
I’m tagging anyone because I’m just not up to the stress of picking. And, you know,  if I don’t tag anyone no one will feel they have to read my babbling! LOL
4 notes · View notes
shooter-nobunagun · 7 years ago
Text
[13] A Monster with no name
Well, I'll give you that justice, as much as you desire it Before you can destroy or be destroyed by it I pay the price for my karma Let's go together, monster without a name
Warnings: frank discussions about incest, and incestuous feelings; please tread carefully if you are uncomfortable with these topics.
“Yo. What’s eating you?” She kicked the leg of his desk and got a slight grunt in return, but his head was still planted flat on the surface. “Well, at least you’re not dead...” It had been about a week since Jack’s sudden illness, and though he’d ultimately recovered without a trip to the hospital, it was another few days before Adam deemed him well enough to return to the classroom. Both Ogura twins had visited numerous times during that period, despite the risk--Sio wanted to keep Adam company and Nobu insisted she could watch over Jack while he rested, although the truth was she had been quite worried about the younger brother as well, though she’d never openly admit it. 
“Don’t you have someone else to go torment at the moment?” A low growl finally surfacing after a few more kicks, Jack glaring up at her from beneath a veil of white bangs. “Piss off already, unless you’ve something of importance to discuss.”
Nobunagun raised an eyebrow and let a low whistle. “Wow, someone piss in your Cheerios today or something?” Normally she didn’t stand for any kind of backtalk, much less from her boyfriend, but she sensed this wasn’t just Jack being his usual acerbic self. “I just wanted to check in on you...geeze,” she muttered, planting herself on his desk despite his attitude. “...I was worried about you, dumbass...”
“...Tch. While your concern is...appreciated, I’m not exactly in the mood for chit-chat, alright?” Though Jack still hadn’t moved, his tone was slightly less harsh. “No need t’ worry about me; I’m basically fine now. Frickin’ Adam made me stay in bed until the contagious period was over...” 
“What, you still upset over the whole...hospital thing?” Nobunagun wasn’t sure if now was the best time to bring up such a touchy subject, but then again she was never one to hold back, either. “Adam-kun kinda gave us the run-down...”
Another grunt. “...No. Not really...”
Huh. Nobunagun stopped her own brooding and carefully studied the boy before her. She was sure he’d be snapping at her to stop prying about his personal phobias but he’d been surprisingly calm, if somewhat cold. Actually, now that she thought about it, his behavior recently and even before he got sick had been off compared to when they first met. Nobunagun wondered briefly if he was getting tired of her...although guys came and went in her life, the thought of being suddenly dumped by Jack caused her stomach to churn a little and an uneasy weight settled in her chest. 
‘Well, so what? If he wants to end it, then whatever...there’s plenty of fish in the sea, especially since he’s going back to England anyway...’ Still, her mood was noticeably darker after that; not even Sio’s light-hearted chatter about what she and Adam had planned after school could distract her.
“Ano...Nobu-nee-sama? Are you okay?” Worried eyes blinked back at her as Nobunagun finally forced herself to stop dwelling on what was bothering Jack. “I...you’re not going to finish those tomatoes, are you?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah no...go ahead,” she muttered, dumping all the round fruits into her sister’s bento. “Sorry...just, thinking about stuff...”
“...Is everything okay with Jack-san?” 
“Hnn...” She gave a noncommittal grunt, though she knew Sio wouldn’t be fooled. “I don’t know...maybe. It’s not anything really major, but...something just feels kinda off. Dunno why.”
“O-Oh...I see... W, Well then, do you...want me to stay with you at home?”
“H-Huh?” Nobunagun looked up in a bit of a shock, not quite expecting her sister to selflessly call off her date. “But, aren’t you...you’re going to check out that new arcade with Adam, aren’t you? There’s no need to cancel just because Jack and I are having...issues...”
“Ah, Nobu...” At this the girl played around with the remaining tomatoes nervously, as if unsure how to broach the subject. “It’s...well, it’s true that I really want to go check it out with Adam...but, you’re still really important to me too, you know. A-And anyway, I think it’d be hard for me to enjoy myself if I knew you were moping about at home, s-s-so...” There was a slight tremble in her voice, and the next thing Nobunagun saw was a single tear sliding down her sister’s face.
“Sio--! Ah jeeze, seriously....” Before anyone else could catch sight of her sister’s tears, Nobunagun was already wiping them away with her handkerchief. “Oy, Sio...it’s okay, really! I mean, I, I...” Sighing, she pulled Sio into a more subdued hug, not caring if anyone else was watching at this moment. “Mou, what am I going to do with you? Seriously...”
“S, Sorry Nobu...but, it’s just...” Sio sniffed once more, before taking a deep breath. “It seems so unfair, I wanted both of us to, to be having fun dating...it sucks that y-you and Jack-san aren’t getting along...”
“Yeah, well...I don’t know if I’d really call it that, to be honest,” Nobunagun muttered, wiping away Sio’s remaining tears. “I think it’s something else that’s bugging him...but I’m not really sure if I should even ask. Don’t wanna be a busybody.”
“Well...do you care about Jack-san?”
“What? What do you mean... Like sure, I guess...I mean, I like him and I was worried when he got sick--”
“That’s not what I meant.” Nobunagun looked up in surprise; it was rare for Sio to interrupt her, much less imply Nobunagun didn’t understand something. “I mean, yeah, I could tell you were worried when he was sick...but, I guess what I’m trying to say is...do you care about how he feels? Like, like how you’re always looking out for me, or getting worried about someone hurting me...those types of feelings, do you...feel that way about Jack-san, as well? Do you think about how your actions will affect him?”
Nobunagun was silent as she pondered her sister’s words. For all her childish innocence, Sio could be surprisingly insightful at times; or maybe she had always been, only Nobunagun had never really taken the time to notice, until now. Her feelings towards Jack...for some reason, it wasn’t as clear anymore, not like back when she’d first laid eyes on them and decided to go after one--it was just supposed to be a fling, an enjoyable thing until he went back and she moved on with her life. But now....there was still the thrill of physical pleasure, but it was more subdued recently, and less important. Actually now that she thought about it, prior to his illness they’d been having less sex and more talking and hanging out--not unusual for most people, but it was markedly different than all her previous relationships, and suddenly Nobunagun felt very unsure of where this might be going.
‘Iya...Sio will always be the one I care about the most...! It’s always been like this, it can’t change...just because of one guy...I can’t love him more than Sio...’
“N-Nobu? Daijoubu?” It wasn’t like her to be so unsettled up by a guy, but somehow Nobunagun couldn’t shake the feeling of unease, even after her sister gave her hand a warm squeeze. “D, Don’t worry Nobu! N, Nee, I know; I’ll, come back early from my date with Adam...a-and, we can do something together, just the two of us before dinner! Maybe we can start that game you’ve been talking about...Nier Auto...mato?” 
“...Nier Automata,” she replied on automatic, still trying to wrench her brain free from the distressing thoughts. It wasn’t until the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch did she force herself to return to her desk, Sio casting her a worried glance as they took their seats but Nobunagun just couldn’t find the words to answer her.
After all, what could she say, how should she even say it? That she might no longer love her sister as much as she used to? Despite everything Sio had said about being there for each other and understanding her thoughts, it would no doubt break her heart to hear something like that. ‘But, no, it’s not…it’s not like that…! Can’t I care about both of them equally…but just, not the same way…even though, even though I—’
“Ogura!” She nearly jumped out of her seat, even though under normal circumstances it was the teachers who feared her. “Page 45, second paragraph down. Or are your thoughts that much more engrossing than The Tale of Genji?”
“…No…sensei,” she could hear the class tittering amongst themselves, some giggling at how flustered the usually-fierce Nobunagun was while others whispered what could’ve possibly upset the outspoken girl. Ignoring the burning feeling at being caught off-guard and humiliated, she slammed the page open and read aloud, though with none of the usual grandiose enthusiasm she tended to portray. —— “Hey…you free today?” Club had long since ended, Sio having skipped out entirely to go on her date but not before she promised to be back well before dinner—‘so we can start Nier!’—leaving Nobunagun to her usual air-soft team, although it was apparent the events of today had left her unable to focus, given the number of times she’d missed her targets. The club members worried about their usually-competent team captain, but she’d managed to brush it off as just exhaustion. Still, she didn’t say no when her second-in-command offered to clean up the gym, urging their captain to go home and get some much-needed rest. And so she did…well, at least she would, but not before she and a certain white-haired boy had a conversation.
He eyed her with a half-hearted stare, before slamming his locker shut. “Sure, I guess. What, don’t tell me you wanna go on a date too…”
Nobunagun rolled her eyes. “Not unless you want to…” A shake of his head confirmed her thoughts. “Thought so. No, I uh…just, wanted to chat…a bit.”
Now it was his turn to blink at her, Nobunagun feeling unusually embarrassed and vulnerable for some reason. It wasn’t wrong for her to just want to talk, right? Everybody did it all the time…except, she was starting to realize, talking and discussing things beyond the surface level was never something she really did, until now, it seemed. Only Sio ever got to know that side, the one that held thoughts about the future, her fears and worries. Even though she knew Jack well enough to trust he wouldn’t make fun of her, to open herself up on that level to someone other than her sister was strangely nerve-wracking. For once she couldn’t meet his eyes, instead staring blankly into the steel wall of lockers, her foot tapping in a nervous habit.
It seemed like forever before he responded, Nobunagun thinking she’d have to blurt out some half-baked excuse, but at last he responded with a ‘sure’, and the two silently left the hallways, Nobunagun feeling more awkward than usual.
“So…you wanna come over or go to your place?”
Another grunt. “Well…since neither of them are gonna be around…your place then?” She was slightly surprised he volunteered her place, but then again she did give him a choice.
“All right. Let’s go then.” —— The house was quiet as usual, though somehow the atmosphere felt anything but calm as Nobunagun went through her usual motions of tea and snacks. In her haste her arm accidentally brushed against the hot iron teapot, Nobunagun nearly dropping the cups in pain as she cursed angrily.
“God dammit--hot--!”
“Careful, I got it.” Jack reached over and took the cups from her, before gripping her arm and carefully examining the reddish skin, wrapping a cool towel around the burned area. “You need some ice after this, but the towel should help.”
“...Thanks,” she muttered, feeling both embarrassed and grateful for his aid. “...God, today just sucks for some reason.”
“Tch, you’re tellin’ me...”
Nobunagun took a deep breath. It still felt awkward to be broaching such a...touchy-feely subject, but she felt if nothing was said, they’d both die of awkwardness. “Say...are you, okay? And I’m not talking about the flu--I mean, has something...happened, lately?” 
Jack’s eyes narrowed and he didn’t say anything, and Nobunagun knew she was onto something. “I-I mean...all right, look. I’ll be the first to admit that I suck at these ‘emotional’ conversations or whatever you want to call this, but I...I’m, concerned, okay?” She squirmed in embarrassment, if Jack didn’t say something soon she would probably end up upending the table or something--
“...I, I...I don’t know...maybe...” There were a few minutes of nervous muttering, his hands poking the cushions on the floor while Nobunagun patiently sipped her tea.
“...I, actually wanted to talk to you about this...but, it’s...”
“...’It’s’...?”
“Nevermind,” he replied hastily, avoiding her stare. “It’s complicated. And frankly...I don’t think it’s right to ask you, of all people.”
Well. That was intriguing. Nobunagun was never one to care for social expectations and politeness, and her boyfriend was no exception. “Not right? Uh, in case you haven’t noticed, but I’m pretty fucking hard to offend,” she tried joking, but his grim expression didn’t change. “Oh, come on Jack. I know I’m the most-feared student among all the third-years, but it’s not like I can’t be serious when it matters,” she frowned, trying her best to not come off as whiny. “Look, it’s true we’ve never really discussed serious or personal topics, but...I’d like to think we know each other well enough at this point to talk about more than just video games and sex...”
“...Heh, you know, you’re much cuter when you retract your claws, wildcat.” He poured himself another cup of tea, before eyeing her at last with a weary glance. “All right, since you’re offering so kindly...but before I go any further, I want your word that none of what we discuss today will leave this room. And I mean it, Nobunagun. You can’t tell any of this even to Sio-chan...and I know how twins are.” To her surprise, he was gazing at her with both of those fierce emeralds, Nobunagun feeling herself nod.
“Yeah, of course...even I have things I don’t tell my sister about,” she muttered, mind suddenly flashing back to that unspeakable moment. “I promise, you can trust me,” she met his eyes with an equally steady look, and he nodded in satisfaction.
“...Yeh...yeh, alright.” Gulping the last of his tea down, he wiped his mouth rather unsteadily, before facing her again. “It...it’s...god, this is so bad...”
“...What is it, Jack? Just tell me; I’ll listen, I promise,” 
“...It has to do with my brother. With Adam.” Nobunagun nodded. She knew all twins shared unusually deep bonds with their other halves, so if it had something to do with Adam, then no wonder Jack was so upset by...whatever it was.
“I...I had, some...thoughts towards him. The not-so-good kind.” Jack’s face turned unusually pale, and Nobunagun slowly reached out and petted his hand. 
“You...wanted to hurt your brother?” 
He shook his head. “No...that would almost be preferable...and logical. But, no...I...”
He was silent for so long Nobunagun wondered if she shouldn’t back off, until...
“...I thought about him sexually. And then I wanked myself off to him.”
A sudden heaviness descended the room, Nobunagun feeling an odd mixture of shock coming over her, but also guilty acknowledgement. In fact, if anything the shock was fading faster than the guilt. After all, wasn’t that what she’d grappled with, that day Sio had shyly asked her about masturbating and orgasms, and instead of giving her some sensible, educational materials, she’d gone ahead and not only suggested they touch themselves in the same room, but then she did the very same to her own twin.
“I...I know, it’s disgusting, but I just couldn’t help myself and it happened so suddenly I didn’t even realize what was going on until--”
She held a hand up before Jack could launch into hysterics. “No. I, uh...honestly, I can see why you were...hesitant before. But also...I, don’t think you’re disgusting, or or...bad, for doing something like that. Sure, I’m kinda shocked, but...” She trailed helplessly, wondering how much she should reveal herself. Maybe it was just one of those ‘crazy teenage hormone’ things, or maybe it was something deeper...in any case, she’d play it by ear and tread lightly, for now. “I-I mean, c’mon man, you know how those hormones get...when you add in a crazy imagination and a brain that’s always trying to sabotage you with ‘bad’ thoughts...” She gave a weak grin, but Jack’s face remained stoic. “I mean...we, look just like each other...it’s not wrong to fantasize about ourselves...a-and besides, it’s not like you actually did anything to him, right?”
Nobunagun swallowed hard at the last sentence. Yeah, better to keep it all in your head, instead of acting out your fantasies. But with Sio, it wasn’t that Nobunagun always harbored a secret lust for her sister; that incident, wrong as it was, had been a one-off, something that just happened because of the circumstances and timing and whatever the hell her brain convinced her at the time. At least, that’s what she wanted to believe... It wasn’t a lie to say she was brooding more lately about hers and Sio’s relationship, but those feelings were of a protective sibling, not romantic or sexual...were they?
It seemed Jack might’ve been dealing with something similar, given his continued sullen demeanor, despite all of Nobunagun’s words. “...No, I didn’t. But, still...” He sighed heavily, and for the first time Nobunagun saw a look of true despair across his face. “...Even if, that was just a one-off, or, whatever...for some reason, my mind...I can’t, stop thinking about it...and honestly, I know deep down...this isn’t some weird, hormone-driven wank-fest. I’ve noticed it for a while now...how I think about my brother, has changed lately. Of course I care about him, and I know he’s my brother...but for some reason, I just, I just...feel so possessive of him. Even though I’m the one who encouraged him to start dating...I didn’t think it would hurt like this.”
He didn’t elaborate much but Nobunagun understood exactly. The fear of their twins leaving them for someone else, someone more important...even if it was natural, and her brain told her it was a good thing, no amount of logic could change the twinge of bitterness in her heart each time Sio skipped out for a date, or gaily chattered about all the things she and Adam discussed that day. Slowly, she moved from her side and sat down next to the boy, gently rubbing his arm in a rare show of affection.
“Hey, it’s okay...trust me, I know that feeling too...in fact, I...have a lot of the same thoughts regarding Sio, as well...” she hugged her knees to her chest, leaning slightly against his side. “Honestly, I’m...glad you chose to tell me all this; ‘cause honestly, just knowing that I’m not the only one who’s had these feelings...”
“Hnn...I guess if that’s one good thing that’s come out of this, then sure...but still, your feelings towards Sio aren’t...well, sexual...fuck, I just don’t get it...! Jack threw his hands up in frustration, spilling the teacup but Nobunagun didn’t seem to care, even as the tea spread across the table. “How the hell did I even start thinking like this...makes no goddamn sense!” Groaning, the boy buried his head in his hands, sinking onto the cushions as he curled into a fetal position. “It’s wrong on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin...I know it’s wrong, but at the same time, I won’t deny it...it felt, good...thinking those types of thoughts, it made me turned on, even though it goes against everything I know and feel...and it’s not like you’ve kept me wanting for sex or anything...”
Nobunagun wiped up the spilled tea but didn’t say anything else. What Jack suggested was heading into dangerous territory...that “forbidden temptation” of incest, such a common tag among her many browsings on adult sites, but she knew it was just another fetish people liked to imagine, but rarely indulge. ‘And yet here we are, both of us thinking and even doing that kind of shit to our own twins...’
“...I know. That kind of ‘forbidden fruit’,” she smirked dryly, palms sweaty and shaky as she recalled her own actions, “I guess pervs like us just can’t help it; the more someone tries to tell us no, the more we go ‘yes’...” Her heart was pounding and Nobunagun realized she was more nervous than she thought. Was she really about to confess touching her own sister to someone else?
‘Hey, he admitted to having those thoughts first!’
‘Yeah, but at least he didn’t actually touch his twin, just thought about it...’
‘Well you’re both already knee-deep into this, might as well let it all out, right? Might make you feel better getting this off your chest.’
There was a shaky breath as she tried to calm herself down somewhat, although now it felt like her entire body was turning numb as her heart continued to pound. “I-I...y, you know...with Sio, I...also...”
“...What?”
His voice wasn’t judging or even offended, yet a second later Nobunagun felt a tear forming in the corner of her eye, letting out a strangled gasp as she hurriedly wiped it up. “Y-Yeah...those types of feelings...at least, for you they’re just thoughts. It’s not like you, you did those things....unlike me...touching my own sister like that...”
An ugly feeling of disgust rose through her body, and Nobunagun resisted the urge to vomit. But it was much harder to resist her tears, which were now falling steadily despite her best efforts. “Honestly, I’m even worse; taking advantage of my little sister like that...even though, even though I didn’t mean to...! And it’s not like I, I want to do that to her, you know?! Hell, I don’t understand myself either...it wasn’t like I planned it, o-or anything...it just, kinda, happened...”
There was a pat on her back, before Jack slowly draped an arm around her, Nobunagun glad for his support. “...It’s alright, Nobu. I don’t think of you any less, either...heh, I guess we really are a pair of mess-up perverts.” The two of them sat in silence for a while, Nobunagun sniffling every so often while Jack brooded, but he kept his arm around her.
“...Do you think something’s wrong with us?”
“Huh?” Nobunagun jerked out of her thoughts at Jack’s sudden comment. “I...I don’t know; I mean, at least we still have our morals...otherwise we wouldn’t feel so tortured.”
“That’s true...still, I can’t figure out how the hell these feelings even came about in the first place. Like I said, my whole life I’ve viewed Adam as my brother; why would I suddenly think of him...like that?”
Nobunagun bit her lips; she had an inkling it might be the same reason as her, that suddenly their respective twins were becoming close with other people, the possibility that they would no longer be each other’s most important person...
“...I wonder if I shouldn’t have encouraged him to date your sister. No offense or anything, it’s not that Sio-chan isn’t a good person,” Jack flushed nervously, "but thinking back...I didn’t start having these types of...feelings, until after Adam and I came here.”
“No...I was about to say the same, honestly,” the girl sighed, flopping backwards onto the cushions. “I mean, I’m also glad that Adam-kun is Sio’s first boyfriend...but that weird feeling, like you’re going to lose them...so you try and make them stay...”
Nobunagun couldn’t bring herself to say anymore, instead curling against Jack’s arm, mumbling incoherently against the fabric. Jack seemed to understand, even without her finishing, and lay down next to her, and to her great surprise, pulled her into a loose embrace. It was a strange move, given that they rarely cuddled or did anything Nobunagun deemed ‘fluffy’, even after sex, but somehow in this moment it felt right. Blushing, she buried her face against his shoulder so he couldn’t see her pink cheeks, feeling somewhat relieved that she finally told someone about this weird situation that had been brewing between her and Sio, and knowing she definitely wasn’t alone.
She was about to drift off into a nap when footsteps came bounding up the stairs, the door flying open as Sio made her entrance. “Nobu, I’m back--oh! S-Sorry, I didn’t...mean to interrupt,” her sister stuttered in apology, gently closing the door as she no-doubt misinterpreted the scene before her. “Ah, J-Jack-san, Nobu-nee-sama...gomen...”
“‘s fine, we weren’t really doing anything anyway,” Nobunagun muttered, rubbing her eyes as Jack sat up next to her with a yawn. “Don’t worry about it Sio, nothing happened.”
“A-Ah, o-okay...um, I’ll...be downstairs.” The younger twin bowed in apology again, before gently closing the door.
“Should be gettin’ back anyway...if your sister’s back, Adam’s bound to be home as well,” Jack gathered his bags and coat, as Nobunagun picked up their teacups. “But, Nobunagun...thanks, really. I mean it, it...means a lot to me that you were willing to listen...and even share your own feelings...”
It was uncharacteristic of him to be so serious, or even genuinely compliment her, and Nobunagun felt her face grow warm, despite the situation. “H-Huh? W, Well duh, of course...you’re my, boyfriend, right,” she murmured, unable to meet his gaze. “I should be thanking you too...for not freaking out and calling me a hentai...”
He gave her a quick hug, which was a surprise but didn’t stop her from returning it. “You’re a real piece of work, Nobu. And I’m glad i met you.” As the full meaning of that comment sunk in, he let himself down the stairs, said a quick ‘hi’ to Sio, and walked out the door, leaving Nobunagun still standing with a teacup in her hand.
“N, Nobu? Daijoubu?” Her sister came back up now that Jack was gone. “Did you...were you two able to talk about stuff?”
“Yeah...yeah, we...actually had a really long talk,” Nobunagun followed her sister down the stairs in a bit of a daze, mind still trying to process everything they’d discussed. “Sorry, I should’ve told you he was coming over for a bit, but I forgot...”
“Oh, it’s okay! I mean, I actually think it’s kind of nice, that you two were able to spend time together while I was out with Adam,” Sio smiled shyly, before hugging her sister. “Do you feel better now?”
Oh Sio. Her dear, sweet little sister, so innocent and pure in the ways of the world. An overwhelming sense of tenderness welled up in her heart, Nobunagun feeling on the verge of tears as she stared at her twin’s face. No, whatever happened between them that day was just a minor detour; there was no way she’d ever think of Sio as anything other than her beloved twin, her true half. No matter what happened in the future, she vowed to do everything to protect that innocence...
“N-Nobu? What’s wrong...” Sio was taken aback at her sister’s sudden display of affection. “You’re, crying...did something happen with Jack-san?”
“Hah...no, we’re fine. Trust me, it’s...it’ll be fine,” she let out a slight laugh, wiping her tears. “I guess it just hit me how lucky I am to have you for a twin, Sio-chan...I love you...”
“O-Oh, Nobu...” Sio returned the hug just as tightly, tears forming in her eyes as well. “You’re the best sister ever, Nobu. I can’t imagine my life without you...”
“Me neither.” Nobunagun wiped the last of her tears and did the same for Sio. “So, you wanna play a game about sad, pretty androids?”
Sio cheered as they both raced to the living room, setting up the console while Nobunagun composed a quick message to Jack. She might’ve not known everything about the two brothers, but if they were anything like her and Sio, Nobunagun had faith they’d work it out as well. Likely it would be different than her and Sio, but the bond between twins wasn’t something so easily destroyed.
Nobu: You’ll be daijoubu, Jack. Don’t worry, I believe it.
At least, that was what she believed then.
0 notes