#because let’s face it we’d all go fucking bonkers

[forcesavetheclones]

One of my favourite things to do is listening to male choirs and imagining it’s clones singing. Like they have a Grand Army of the Republic Choir.

[vampirejohn]

And if I want snippets from all 3 WIPs?????

spike ily quite literally anything for you

and i still call home is the big bang sized preseries deanjohn fic nobody asked for. dean gets john to let him and sam stay in town while sam finishes school (and dean gets to play housewife!!). he doesn't exactly mention it's so sam can go to college, which ofc ends well (i'm lying 😈)

He rolled on his side and spread a nervous hand over John’s waist, and then moved down to feel the hard, thick length of him through his jeans. He had to bite back a groan, his own cock twitching valiantly at the thought of getting to see it, really see it, not just in casual passing the way you did when you lived with someone your whole life. But then John took his wrist, pushed him off. “It’s okay,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m good like this.” “But—” Bemused, Dean shifted sort of awkwardly. “It just… doesn’t seem all that fair to you.” John’s eyes narrowed, the line of his mouth going flat and mean. “Why don’t you let me worry about what’s fair to me?” Dean rolled onto his back again so he didn’t have to look at him, hot behind his ears. Maybe this was new for John—and that was admirable, really—but Dean didn’t remember a time when it wasn’t like this for him. The wanting was born somewhere between tucking him in and holding his hands steady around pistols and pool cues and watch out for Sammy, between dental floss stitches in motel bathrooms and it was never supposed to be like this and it’s okay, Dad and you really want to talk about Sam right now? Dean had been capable of this during all of it.

deanjohn dv screening ✨

“You know we’ve been here a couple of hours already, right? Costs an arm and a leg to park here, too.” “There’s a bit of a wait for the X-ray machine, unfortunately. We’re a smaller hospital.” The nurse was still pulling and turning Dean’s wrist, like there was some threshold of pain she had to put him in before she was allowed to give him some goddamned painkillers. “I promise we’ll get him in as soon as we can.” She raised her eyes to Dean’s for a moment, and he took the opportunity to give her an apologetic smile, the one reserved for civilians caught up in John’s wrath. She didn’t return it, mouth turning down into a frown for just a split second. Finally, she let Dean go, turning her attention on John. “Sir, would you mind stepping out for just one second? There’s a few more diagnostics we’d like to run on Dean.” John’s eyes narrowed infinitesimally, only noticeable if you knew to look for it. “I’m good here,” he said, planting his feet more firmly. Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s fine. Do whatever you have to do.” She studied Dean for a moment, and then nodded decisively. “Alright. Give me a few moments.” She wasn’t out of the room two seconds before John said, “The hell was that about?” Dean was busy trying to find a comfortable position to lay his wrist in his lap. “They think you’re beating me,” he snapped. He watched John’s face turn to stone. “And why the hell would they think that?” “Because you’re being an asshole.” Dean stopped to hiss as a twinge of shocky pain shot up his arm. “Look. If they try to get me alone again, just play along, alright? So we can get off their radar.”

deanjohn abo au is my s1 au deanjohn/samdean double feature, where sam figures out that dean let john claim him and goes absolutely bonkers over it

“You’re fucking deranged. You think you're defending my honor or something? Because I got news for you—ever since you found out, you’ve been stomping around, whining like a jealous bitch. Spineless too, like pretending this is about Dad makes it okay. There something you want from me, Sam? Speak up.” Sam didn’t, only pressed his arm harder across Dean’s throat when he tried to move again. Dean’s mouth curled into a nasty grin. “It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it? Thinking about him on top of me. His knot inside me. D’you think about me begging for it? ‘Cause I do, Sammy, I beg him to shove it so deep I can’t fucking breathe, to put me on my knees and fucking knock me up. Just curious—would you prefer a little brother or a sister?” “You don’t have to convince me you’re a fucking whore, Dean.” The last thing Dean remembered before the world tilted and went black was rearing back and spitting in Sam’s face.

[luminescencefics]

stubborn love

Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a little blurb about this post, filled with an angsty y/n and an adorably dimwitted Harry. Oh yeah, also smut. Enjoy!

2.6k word count

My masterlist // read below:

***

If there was one thing about you that Harry hated, it was how stubborn you were. And if there was one thing about Harry that drove you absolutely mad, it was when he left arguments incomplete—choosing the easy way out instead of finishing the conversation you ultimately started.

It was with good cause, though. After being together for three years, the little things started to surface every now and then. And with the aid of liquor coursing through both of your veins, it was only a matter of time until a fight started.

They never lasted long. And it was usually cured by sex, but sometimes, Harry did things that drove you absolutely bonkers, leaving you wanting to punish him a bit. Like tonight, for example, when you had to remind him three times that he had to be ready by eight o’clock in order to make it to your best friend’s birthday dinner on the other side of town. You watch by the vanity as you finish applying your nude lipstick, observing how he scrolled through his phone aimlessly on the bed with just a towel wrapped around his waist. His outfit was laid out beside him, his hair still wet from the shower he had recently gotten out of, and the time on the clock read 7:42.

“Harry, please get dressed. We’re supposed to be out the door in five minutes,” you remind him, sitting on the bed beside him while you buckle the strap of your heel around your exposed ankle. He nods absentmindedly while texting Jeff about scheduling radio interviews for the upcoming album, seemingly ignoring what you were telling him.

“Harry.”

Your tone is laced with annoyance now, and immediately his eyes snap over towards yours, taking in your completed look for the first time since slipping on the black dress you decided to wear this evening. His eyes rake your body instantly, and because of the years you’ve been with him, you know exactly what he’s thinking already. But you don’t have time for this, and when you stand up abruptly and saunter towards the door, you try to ignore the pout he shoots in your direction.

“Don’t be like that, baby,” he says slowly, sitting up straight and facing the door you were currently standing in. 

“Harry, please just get dressed! I promised Catherine we’d be there early,” you say tightly, giving him a pointed look until he surrenders and gets off the bed, reaching for his briefs in the dresser on the other side of the bedroom.

“Jesus, what is with you always needing to be early? You know Catherine’s always late, anyways,” Harry says in a clipped tone, shoving his long legs through the navy trousers laid out on the bed. 

“Don’t start. This is important to me, and I don’t need your lack of time management ruining Catherine’s birthday dinner that I’ve been planning for weeks.” You knew that you were being a bit over dramatic, but the stress of making your high-maintenance best friend happy was weighing down on you. Coupled with the fact that Harry was leaving again for a few months, you were under a lot of stress to make everybody happy.

“What do you mean ‘lack of time management?!’ We’re talking about Catherine for Christ’s sakes! The girl who showed up late to almost every event you’ve hosted in the past two years! I think she’ll manage us being a couple of minutes late.” Harry speaks while finishing putting on his outfit, and for once, you really don’t have it in you to argue. Because arguing costs time. And time is something you are lacking at the current moment.

Your silence is what causes his head to snap in your direction, giving you a confused look. “Oh are you giving me the silent treatment now?”

You know that he doesn’t mean it, but his words are causing you to seethe in your heels. Before you can make a comment that will cause another argument, you start heading towards the stairs, grabbing your keys by the table near the front hallway and throwing them into your clutch.

“Oh, come on! Catherine probably won’t even be there for another hour anyways!” His voice is right behind you, and before you can even think about it, you’ve pivoted on your heel, your hair whipping against your neck with the sheer force of your movements. 

“Enough! I’d like to get there before my perpetually late friend, and I don’t need you breathing down my fucking neck about it! Can you do that for me? Please?” You really didn’t mean to snap at him, but he’s been egging you on ever since you’ve asked him to get ready hours ago. 

You know that your boyfriend means well, and that he’s got enough on his plate as it is, and going to your forgetful best friend’s birthday dinner is probably the last thing of importance on his list—but you’ve done so much for him. You’ve flown out to shows, you’ve gone months without seeing him due to his demanding schedule, you’ve practically uprooted your life to accommodate his throughout your relationship. And, of course, it was all worth it—because he’s worth everything. But sometimes, especially times like this, you wish he would realize that and just do as you say.

And with one clipped nod, the nod he gives you when he’s surrendering to the argument, he reaches behind you for the front door and holds it open, allowing you to walk in front of him and head towards the car at the end of the driveway, trying your hardest to let the anger seep out of your skin.

***

You hate to say it, but Harry was right. Catherine was forty-five minutes late to her birthday dinner, and before it was over, she was already drunk enough to completely forget to thank you for putting the entire thing together. 

But you were far too proud to show your boyfriend that he was right, so instead of acknowledging the smug look he was shooting your way, you decide to order another drink and continue swallowing them down until you were drunk enough to forget how annoyed you were at the entire evening. When Catherine announces moving the party to the new club that opened downtown, you decided you were done, choosing instead to end the night early.

While you were waiting for the valet, you notice that Harry wasn’t as drunk as you were, but he was definitely drunk enough to let his hands rest low on your hips while his body enveloped yours, seemingly protecting you from the cold. His lips would brush your neck every now and then, and while you appreciated how touchy he got when liquor was in his veins, you were still annoyed at the unfinished argument the two of you had hours earlier.

“You look so beautiful tonight, baby. Can’t wait to take you home,” he whispers in your ear. You blame the shiver that racks your body on the wind, even though your insides were burning at the feeling of your boyfriend’s lips against the shell of your ear.You’re silent the entire car ride home, resting your head against the window as Harry’s hands splay against your exposed upper thigh uncovered by your short hemline. With every stop light, he would look over towards you, and you could feel the heat of his gaze every time he ogled your body in the short garment.

Ignoring Harry when you were mad at him was an entire feat in itself.

When he pulls into the driveway, you’re the first to spring out of the car, determined to put enough distance between the two of you so you aren’t tempted to let him win the argument. Harry knows this, because he knows how stubborn you can be. He loves this little game of yours that you play, and while he knows he’ll ultimately apologize to you in the end, watching the way you battle yourself with touching him and keeping your distance makes him only want to rip your clothes off more.

He sits on the loveseat in your bedroom while you rip your heels off and place them on the shoe rack in your closet. You're aware of his gaze, watching every step you take as you remove your earrings, plug your phone into the charger, run to the restroom to wash your face. His silence is irritating, but you’d be damned if you were the first to break it.

It’s once you’ve finally stripped out of your dress when Harry breaks.

“Christ, can you come here, please? You’re killing me, baby.” His voice is rough and you can hear the frustration laced in his words, and it’s enough to make you stare at him head on, hands gripping the undergarments gracing your hips, looking down at him with a stern look.

Harry does his hardest to hide the growing bulge in his pants at the sight of you.

“I’m still upset with you,” you utter, walking towards the loveseat slowly. You purposely matched your bra with your underwear, and it’s enough to cause Harry’s eyes to wander the expanse of your skin, holding back a groan at the sight of you.

“I’m sorry.” His voice sounds miles away, and you can tell that your body is distracting him. He’s not even looking into your eyes, and once his big hands reach out to grab your hips and pull you down on top of him, you immediately back away, removing his hands from your body.

“No touching. Not until you’ve apologized properly.” You know it’s wrong to tease him, but sometimes your boyfriend needs a little reminder of how to treat you when he’s been a bit unfair towards you. 

He frowns instantly, crossing his arms against his chest like a petulant child. It’s enough to cause you to snort, before crossing the room and laying on the bed, your back towards him and your front facing the window.

You can hear him shuffling around, most likely removing his clothes in favor of wearing his briefs to bed. And once the overhead light is off, just the light of the moon filtering through the room, you can feel his body hovering over yours in the bed, his hands gripping your waist tightly.

“Hate when you’re a tease,” he whispers against your neck, rolling your body so that you're completely under his, staring up into his dark eyes. 

You lock your arms around his neck. “Hate when you’re a prick,” you reply back, trying your hardest to suppress the moan urging itself out of your throat when his hands trace the swells of your breasts, before settling at the tops of your underwear.

“How many times do I have to apologize?” He says, his eyes locked on your body instead of your eyes. You know that he’s been wanting to see you naked all night, and while it makes your skin prickle with goosebumps, it’s not enough.

“Until you mean it.” You watch as he swears under his breath, before moving his hands behind your back to the clasp of your bra. He’s cautious, testing to see how you’ll react, wondering if this is still a game for you. And when you’re quiet, he takes that as affirmation, ridding you of your top layer before pressing his mouth against your newly exposed skin.

You bite your lip so hard until you can taste the metallic flavor of blood, trying your hardest to ignore Harry’s bulge growing against your upper thigh. His mouth is moving lower and lower, his hands kneading your exposed flesh, and it’s driving you absolutely mad to stay silent. But you’re still angry. And stubborn as a bull.

“You know I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt your feelings,” his lips are ghosting over your clothed center, and when your body twitches under his, he takes that as a sign to pull the lace from your skin, tossing it over his shoulder.

“Yeah, well you did, Harry.” Your voice comes out much more high-pitched than normal, and you know that it’s due to your boyfriend’s proximity to your heat. It’s coursing now, and Harry’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your exposed center.

“Didn’t mean it,” he’s distracted again, and before you can yell at him, you watch as his ringed fingers trickle from your navel down to your clit, before swiping against your folds. He’s testing you, wondering how long you’ll be upset with him. You’re still silent, because he doesn’t deserve you at your full-capacity, not when he’s still so cavalier about the way he treated you earlier.

When he removes his briefs and teases you with the tip, your hands immediately grip his shoulder blades forcefully, and the sting is enough to make him look at you for longer than a few seconds.

“You can’t stay mad at me forever…” he’s teasing you, knowing that you’ll eventually break. But your boyfriend is completely underestimating your stubbornness, and when he tries to turn you over so that your front is pressed into the pillows and your backside is in the air, the position that he craves the most, you clench your abdominal muscles and anchor yourself to the mattress.

You won’t be giving him that luxury today.

He says your name breathlessly, but you ignore it. Instead, you bring your mouth closer to his, before speaking instead of kissing him. “Need you to mean it, baby.”

Harry groans against your lips, his tip slipping in when you moved closer to his chest. His mind is moving a hundred miles a minute, trying to remember the exchange of words you both had hours earlier, wondering what he did to make you so upset.

You can tell that he’s thinking, and you decide to reward him by wrapping your legs around his waist, allowing him to slip further inside of you. You’re not that much of a monster.

“I do mean it! I’m sorry I made you late,” he’s stuttering and his eyes are completely blown out, and normally you’d kiss him at this moment when his length is almost completely enveloped by your heat. But he still isn’t understanding it. And you’re still mad.

“Not why I’m angry with you,” you say against the corner of his mouth, your breath hitching once he’s completely bottomed out inside of you. His brain is clouded over with lust, and trying to apologize at this moment is damn near impossible.

His hips start to rut against yours, and when he pulls back out and pushes inside of you once more, gathering a gentle rhythm, you dig your fingernails deeper into his skin to remind him that you are, in fact, still waiting for a decent apology.

Harry’s breathing your name in between moans, his lips inching towards yours desperately. He normally kisses you during sex, tangles his tongue with yours, pulls his teeth against your bottom lip, anything he can do to get closer to you. But you’re denying him of this luxury, and he’s growing more and more frustrated with each pump into you.

“Harry!” You’re not sure if it’s from pleasure or from the fact that he still can’t come up with the reason why you’re so upset with him. But once you’ve stilled under him, his eyes snap to yours, and he’s realizing then that he truly has been a bit of a dickhead tonight.

“Didn’t mean to make you late. Didn’t mean to egg you on. I know—fuck, I know Catherine is always late but that doesn’t mean you are. I know this was important to you. ‘M sorry I was such an asshole. You’re important to me. I love you, fuck baby, I love you too much. Can’t stand you being mad at me. Please.” He’s desperate, his words falling over your cheek in hot pants. His eyes dart between both your pupils, and you can tell that he needs you to understand his words. That he truly means them. That he needs you to fucking accept his apology because he’s about to burst inside of you, and his heart can’t take you not kissing him and looking at him the way you normally do.

You smile then, removing your hands from his shoulders and tangling them into his hair, bringing your lips to his. He sighs in your mouth, relief coursing through his veins. He starts pumping into you again, and you’re finally reciprocating, kissing his cheeks and his neck, whispering his name into his skin, telling him that you love him with each press further into the mattress.

And when he finally comes, you reward him with an open-mouthed kiss, your tongue tangling with his, whispering “I love you” until it settles into the back of his throat.

Because even though you’re stubborn, and even though Harry can be dim when it comes to apologies, you wouldn’t have it any other way. You love him far too much to let him go that easily, and when you’re cuddled into his chest and he’s running his fingers down your matted hair, you fall asleep knowing that you’re safe in his arms.

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the Meet Ugly Prompts-38, NSFW Danbrey?

Here you go! Note: there are mentions of blood in this.

38: overhear you ordering your coffee in a coffee shop and I’m trying to place your voice when I realize that you’re the phone sex operator I’ve been calling on and off for the last few months but the realization startles me so much that I accidentally spill my drink on you and you’re pissed

“One spiced mocha, one oatmilk latte!”

Aubrey reaches for her mocha just as a painfully cute blonde in overalls grabs the latte.

“Oh, excuse me” the blonde calls over the counter, “could I get a lid, it looks like you’re all out at the station. Thanks, you’re the best.” She smiles at the teenager who hands he the lid while Aubrey tries to figure out where she’s heard “thanks, you’re the best” said that exact way before.

Oh shit. Oh shit.

She’s heard that voice every Tuesday and Friday when she calls LoveBites, the premiere service for people who really like vampires. Really, really, like vampires.

Honeysuckle, as the woman on the other end of the line calls herself, probably isn’t a vampire. Aubrey figures most of the people who work that line are just very good at pretending to be fictional monsters. She is, however, incredibly good at getting Aubrey to cum with vivid descriptions of where she’s going to sink her teeth.

“AH! Hey, watch what you’re doing.”

Aubrey snaps back to the coffee shop to discover her drink is now all over Honeysuckles shoes.

“Ohmygod, I’m, I’m so sorry.” She grabs a fistful of napkins, drops down to clean the mess of coffee and chocolate syrup from the floor. She reaches to help clean off the other woman's shoes only for her to wave her away.

“It’s fine, I got itshit” she glares as Aubrey, in her attempt to get out of her space, stands too quickly, bumping her head into Honeysuckle’s cup and sending it all over both of them.

Okay, she can totally salvage this. Right?

----------------------------------------------

“...then I just ran away.”

Duck laughs so hard on the other end of the phone that he startles Dr. Harris Bonkers.

“Oh come on, like you’ve never done something embarrassing in front of someone cute.”

“Dunno, you might have just beaten my ‘six Freudian slips in a row trying to ask ‘Dird how his weekend was.’”

“Ugggggggggggggggh.”

“It’s okay, Lady Flame” he manages to sound genuinely sympathetic through his giggles, “lots of cute folks out in the world who you ain’t spilled two cups of coffee on.”

“Yeah.” She checks the neon orange clock on the wall, “I gotta go practice my tricks for this weekend. Thanks for listening to me whine.”

“Any time, Aubrey. See you at the show.”

She gets through two tricks, including the one where Dr. Harris Bonkers disappears from a box, but she can’t focus. It’s not nerves; instead, she feels like if she got off just once, she’d stop feeling so tense and be able to run through the rest of her act without issues.

It’d be a very bad idea to call LoveBites when she spilled a drink on her favorite operator. She doesn’t feel like talking someone new through her preferences, and she knows with Honeysuckle she’s guaranteed to get off, which wasn’t always the case with previous operators. Besides, the length of her calls must be enough to pay for a replacement drink.

She grabs her phone and dials. Soon a familiar voice purrs down the line.

“Hi, Aubrey. How’s my favorite human tonight?”

“Good?”

“You don’t sound so sure about that, fireblossom.” It’s a new pet name; ever since she mentioned her stage name, Honeysuckle likes to give her ones woven through with flames.

“I, um, I'm fine?”

“Did something happen today, hot stuff?”

“Uhhhhh. Um. I, uh, I made a fool of myself in a coffee shop. I, um, I spilled my drink on a cute girl. Also hers.”

Honeysuckle goes quiet.

“I, um, I think the person I spilled them on was you.”

“..............spiced mocha?”

“Yeeeeah” Aubrey curls inwards, trying to cringe away from her phone, “I’m really sorry about your shoes. And your overalls. And your drink. I, um, I wasn’t gonna mention it but it feels, like, weird not to and I really was going to offer to replace your coffee except I was kinda worried I’d somehow spill that too. I’m, I’m sorry. I just really like talking with you.” She smiles shyly, “you’re my favorite vampire.”

Dead air, then “you really want to make it up to me with another drink?”

“Yes!” Aubrey sits up, hopeful.

“Even if the drink isn’t coffee?”

“Sure it, it can be whatever you want.”

A hungry purr that makes Aubrey reach for her trusty vibrating wand, “In that case, don’t go anywhere.”

“What? But you’re-”

The line goes dead. Aubrey stares at it, frowning. What is she supposed to do now? Did they get disconnected accidentally? Should she just call back?

She shoves the toy back in the drawer, paces back and forth between the kitchen counter and the table where her cards and flashpaper are strewn about, unsure whether she should make dinner, practice, try to get off, or just give up on everything and go to bed.

From his hutch in the corner, Dr. Harris Bonkers honks, thumps his feet in alarm, then turns his bugged-out eyes on Aubrey and thumps again as if to say, “what the fuck, why aren’t you heeding my warning?”

“Aww, it’s okay buddy. Is that cat on the fire escape again?” She looks out the window, finds nothing but some mist. Mist that’s hovering on her tiny balcony and no one elses. She blinks.

Honeysuckle is standing on the other side of the glass; she’s wearing a loose green tank top and grey yoga pants, golden hair taking on the tint of the nearby streetlights. She gives a demure wave as Aubrey throws the back door open.

“Holy fuck I thought the vampire thing was just, like, a gimmick.”

A shrug, “There’s more humans than vampires working the line, but some of us are the real deal. I know a few vampires who do it because it lets them work nights and keep an actually nocturnal schedule. But some of us do it as a side job and go out during the day. Which means we see cute girls in coffee shops who we think we might ask out who then spill drinks on us.”

“Aw beans. Wait, were you checking me out for real.”

“Uh huh. You must have been doing something super interesting on your phone to not notice.”

Aubrey resolves to delete Candy Crush immediately.

“Um, so, not that I’m not happy to see you again, but like how did you find my house?”

“We can trace numbers on our end. It’s a security thing; back when the line started some hunters kept trying to use it to go after vampires, so we needed to know where calls were coming from.”

“Blegh, that sucks.”

“Yeah, not my favorite.” She flutters her eyelashes, “any chance I could come in?”

“Absolutely, uh, here” she holds the door--which has no risk of closing without a lot of force--so the vampire can step into the apartment.

“Do I, um, should I still just call you what I always have?”

Golden eyes look her up and down hungrily, “Dani is fine.” Then she squeaks, “ooooh, hi there little guy, can I say hi? Oop, okay, some other time.” Dani smiles as the rabbit ducks into his covered box, “animals can be kind of skittish around me at first. Which makes sense.” When she turns to look at Aubrey, her fangs are visible.

“Hooboy that’s, that’s, uh-”

Dani steps back, “I can back off. I just, um, I thought since we’re both into each other and you were, um, already in the mood for some lovebites maybe we could -”

“NoItotallywantto!” Aubrey grabs her hand, pulling her towards the bedroom, “sorry, the fangs are apparently an insta-horny button in my brain.”

“Good to know” Dani spins her by her shoulders and pushes her back onto the bed, fangs now on full display, “take your clothes off, fireblossom.”

Aubrey thanks herself from two hours ago for changing into her pajamas so she doesn’t have much to rid herself of. When she gets her shirt off, Dani is down to her underwear, green boyshorts showing off her legs and completely distracting Aubrey from any unwelcome self-consciousness.

“Mmmmmm” Dani crawls onto the bed with her, “I thought you were cute before but fuck, you look incredible like this.”

“Thanks” Aubrey’s breath catches as Dani bumps their noses together, “can, can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

She raises up on her elbows, mapping Dani’s mouth with her own. Aubrey’s kissed plenty of people in her life, and there have only been a few where the gesture felt like coming home, like she was slotting against a body that was meant to be with hers. All of those pale in comparison to the way Dani’s body seems to meld with hers. She gasps when the vampire cups her right breast, teasing the nipple with her thumb as she eases Aubrey all the way down. Her other hand finds her face, traces from there to the base of her neck, touches moving from light to sharp as she curves her nails down her skin.

When the fangs scrape her sternum she moans. Dani snickers against her, kisses and nuzzles her way down her chest, sighing when Aubrey threads her fingers into her hair.

“So, my pretty snack, what were you going to ask me for when you called?”

“I, I was kinda hoping we’d talk about you eating me out.”

A kiss above her belly button, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“OhgoodOH, ohfuck” she opens her legs wider as Dani dips her head between them, “ahhhn, please, a little higher, ohfuck, god.” Her hips twitch as Dani sucks her clit. There’s a muffled laugh as two fingers tease her cunt.

“Wow, you really do like the fangs.”

“I mean yeah, but that’s more because you’re really hotOH, ohyesfuckthat’sgood.” She moans as Dani presses two fingers in, stroking and rubbing in time with the vampire’s increasingly wanton groans.

“Fuck, Aubrey, that’s it, you look so pretty like this, be a good girl and cum for me.”

“Trying” Aubrey squeaks as Dani laves her tongue across her clit and curls her fingers inside her, “fuck, right there, yeah, ohyes, that, just like that.” She squeezes her eyes shut, clinging to Dani’s head and to the hand gripping her thigh. When she cums it’s intense enough that she’s terrified she’s going to kick Dani accidentally, but the vampire simply holds her thighs down, lapping at her until her moans die down.

“Fireblossom?”

“Uh huh?”

“You still owe me a drink. Whatever I want, remember?”

“Yeah? Oh, oh fuck yeah.” She squirms in excitement as Dani drops to the floor and pulls Aubrey towards her until she’s able to hook her knees over her shoulders.

Dani pushes stray hairs from her face, “If you start feeling lightheaded, tell me okay?”

Aubrey gives a thumbs up, winces at how dorky it is, then giggles when Dani cranes forward to kiss it.

The vampire kisses a line from her right knee to her inner thigh, sighing loudly when she noses a certain patch of skin.

“Perfect.”

Fangs sink into her skin and Aubrey clamps her hands over her mouth to avoid waking the neighbors. It’s a sharp, precise pain, flooding her body with the urge to lay back and let Dani take her fill. Then the teeth retreat and Dani’s tongue takes their place, licking the red rivulets and moaning as she sucks at the punctured skin.

“Such a perfect snack.” Dani looks up at her, heavy-lidded and scarlet-mouthed.

“Dani” Aubrey reaches for her, not sure what she’s even asking for.

The vampire takes her hand, rubs it against her cheek, “Does it still feel okay?”

“It feels so good.”

Dani smiles, turns her head to pierce the left thigh, Aubrey moaning weakly as she drinks from her. The moan is echoed, and when she manages to lift her head she sees Dani’s hand is not between her own legs.

“Oh god that’s hot.”

The vampire grins at her, “I get dinner, you get a show. It’s perfect.”

Aubrey watches her lick the bites until they cease bleeding, her moans pitching higher as she fucks herself, getting off on the taste of Aubrey’s blood-tinted skin. Then she tenses, tipping her head back, fangs glinting in the light from the windows, and gasps Aubrey’s name as she cums.

Then a blonde head rests on her knee. Aubrey sits up, Dani’s hair as they catch their breath.

“I, um, I should clean you up. Do you have band-aids?”

“Bathroom.”

Dani stands, cheeks much pinker than before, and returns a minute later with the Pokemon band-aids that Aubrey bought solely for the Charizard ones. She wipes her legs with a warm hand towel, gently pats the bandages into place, stealing giddy glances at Aubrey the entire time.

“You know that fucking ruled, right?” Aubrey rests her head on her shoulder when Dani joins her on the bed.

“Glad you liked it, fireblossom. Can’t believe I’m lucky enough that the hottest human I’ve met in years has a thing for vampires.

“Pretty sure I just have a thing for you. Which, um, I mean this can totally stay casual but, um, do you want to go out sometime?”

Dani nods, leans in for another kiss. She must have borrowed Aubrey’s mouthwash, since she tastes of mint instead of iron.

“I’d love to, Aubrey. But, um, let’s avoid coffee shops for awhile?”

“Good plan.”

[inkandpen22]

Shared Minds and Shared Souls (10/?)

Pairing: Spike x Female!Reader 

Warnings: mentions of death, angst, fluff 

Word Count: 1.8k

Part Summary: Y/N and Spike are in New Orleans after the magic has turned Y/N dark. Spike is doing everything he can to fix her and Y/N is reluctant to return to normal. 

A/N: sorry for the delay! Thank you for being so patient and supportive! I appreciate all of you! X

Masterlist

New Orleans was the first place to pop into my head after Spike took my hand. When he returned to Sunnydale and told me of his search for a solution in New Orleans, it piqued my interest.

We've been here for a day now.  This city is everything I dreamed of and more. There's a lot of pent-up energy here, it's practically overflowing.  

"We have to go back Love," Spike declares from the armchair.

I stroll back into the hotel room from the balcony. Spike's been acting melancholy since we poofed from Sunnydale. This was supposed to be a vacation for us, a getaway.

"We could, but I don't feel like it," I shrug, sliding over the arm into the chair opposite of him.

"Will has been touched by dark magic before too, she can help you," he relays with a worried expression plaguing his features.

I've tried keeping my cool, but if he keeps playing Dr. Phil I'm going to poof him to the middle of the Sahara!

"This isn't dark magic, Spike!" I snap, rising to my feet in a smooth glide. "This is something greater! It's electric! It's more powerful!"

I reveal the charge waves traveling between my fingers. The energy is always there. I just tuck it away from time to time. One wrong move and I shock him a bit back into place.

Spike leaps up from his chair furiously. "You hate power, remember! You wish you were human, ordinary!"

"I was stupid, naive then," I laugh, returning to the balcony.

"I told you I was going to find a way to bring you back. I have," Spike announces from behind me. "There's a shaman in the Quarter."

"Aw," I pout while I spin to face him. Bringing my hands to his chest, I linger inches from his lips. "You don't like me this way, Baby?"

He clenches his jaw, peering down at me in disgust. "No, I don't because this isn't Y/N. It's a version of her, but not the real deal."

I slip my hand over the back of his neck to lower his lips to mine. They brush against each other and smile. Abruptly, Spike shoves me in the chest, making me slam into the iron rail of the balcony.

I chuckle wickedly, "you tease me."

"You know we can't until you're straightened out," he states sternly, heading back inside through the old double-doors. "He'll be here tomorrow to make you right," he informs me, referring to the shaman.

"You sure have a lot of faith in this man," I snicker mockingly as I follow him.

"He's a friend of a friend," Spike explains with a sigh as he eases back into his chair. "He's been practicing since before you were born."

Tilting my head to the side, I go to kneel between Spike's legs. "Oh, so you think that makes him more powerful than me?"

The back of his hand brushes across my cheek lovingly. He searches my face as though I'm a stranger and he's struggling to recognize it.

"No, but he probably knows more," he mutters, hopeful.

I kiss his hand and crawl to sit in his lap. He holds his arms out not to touch me. I wrap my fingers around his wrists to force his arms around my waist.

"I've never liked shamen. They're so... plain. Where's the spice you know?!" I express dramatically. "I mean unless we're talking real down and dirty voodoo. I could jump on that bandwagon," I purr into his ear.

Spike pushes me off of him, making me fall to the floor on my ass with a thud. He towers above me like a mad parent.

"Am I going to have to tie you to the bloody chair again?!" He reprimands.

"Sounds fun," I giggle wickedly, relaxing on the floor. "But you know I can get out of it."

"You need to get some rest, you haven't slept," he advises.

Rolling my eyes, I stand and disinterestedly wander back to the balcony as the sun is about to set.

"I'm not tired," I mumble over my shoulder.

Spike marches up behind me and tugs on my shoulder.

"Ouch!" I huff.

"That's the magic playing with your system. It's going to run you ragged!" He barks.

I get in his face, unfazed, "let it."

He grips my arms pleadingly and shakes me like a jolt. "No, Y/N! I need you to fight this for fuck's sake! Snap out of it!"

"If I died do you think we'd find each other in Hell?" I giggle, bringing my hand to his cheek.

He releases me solemnly, shuffling away with a sigh. "I'm going to the fire pit, Love. You're going to the clouds," he whispers.

"Even like this," I gesture to myself

His eyes that I once loved-still do- meet mine sharply. His jaw clenched with emotion. "I rather burn for your wrongdoings than see you suffer for them."

I approach Spike slowly as I glimmer of something in his ocean blue eyes. I laugh breathlessly, what is this? I suspect a vision, but I'm not in his head. How is this possible?

"I can see it," I whisper under my breath so softly it nearly slips by in the breeze outside. My fingers graze across his cheekbone beneath his eye.

Spike frowns, bringing his hand around the back of my neck. "What's that Love?"

"I can see it in your eyes. It dances behind them," I describe vaguely as I become mesmerized by the image. "I don't even have to enter your mind anymore."

He perks up, "you see something? A vision?"

I hum, watching the vision repeat over and over again. "Like a flicker. A scene repeating."  

I'm going crazy aren't I? Truthfully, bonkers if I can see visions just by looking into someone's eyes.

"What do you see?" Spike questions as his hands fall to my waist comfortingly.

"I'm going to say it first," I mutter.

"What?"

"How about that..." I snicker lightly in disbelief.

"Say what? What are you talking about?!" He squeezes his grip, trying to pry information from me.

I can't snap out of this daze, this beautiful fog. I may want to stay here forever rewatching the vision.

The vision alters. It becomes longer and more detail, as if I've crossed a threshold, opened a door to reveal more.

"Why are you hurt?" My voice shakes.

His eyes widen in horror at my words and he rushes me to lay down in bed.

"Hurt? I'm not, are you?" He kneels beside the bed and checks my body frantically.

I stop him, tucking my fingers under his chin so he'll look at me.

"I'll take care of you. I promise. You'll see," I tell him as he lifts the comforter over me.

"Okay, go to bed, Love," Spike instructs as he sits on the edge of the bed.

He brushes my hair back from my face and plants a kiss on my forehead. My eyes fall shut as he combs his fingers through my hair.

"I'll find you," I whisper as I fall asleep peacefully.

_______________________________ "Y/N..." A female voice wakes me.

I groan, rubbing my eyes as I prop myself up on my elbow. Spike's arm draped over my waist is like a weight keeping me in bed. He remains fast asleep as I scan the room. Then, I spot Joyce in the corner by the door leading out into the hallway.

"Joyce?" I yawn. "How'd you find us?"

"I have my ways," she smiles kindly.

I sit up fully and Spike flips onto his other side to face the opposite way.

"Well, I'm not coming back," I tell my aunt sternly.

Her face falls with a sigh of disappointment.

"They need you, now more than ever," she informs. "Buffy's been trying to reach you."

Spike stirs next to me but remains asleep.

"She doesn't have this place's number," I tell my aunt.

"You need to contact her," she repeats urgently.

"She was going to separate Spike and me! I can't let that happen," I snap, placing my hand on his shoulder next to me.

"She won't do that if you bring yourself back to your normal self!" She reasons. "Reject the magic!"

"I can't," I shake my head repeatedly. "I don't know how to!"

"Yes you do, you always have," she encourages, giving me a knowing look only a mother can give.

I swallow hard, she's right, I do. I just didn't want to accept it as the only solution because it means more suffering on my part.

"A kick," I admit reluctantly.

She nods gently, "and you know how to initiate a kick."

"A shock, sudden pain," I recite what I've learned from years of visions. "But I can't take in any more!"

"You're stronger than you think," Joyce reaches her arms out to me.

"What if it's easier to stay this way? It brings less pain," my voice cracks.

"It is easier, but are you truly happy? You'll never be with Spike..." Her eyes flicker over to the vampire who starts to rise up from the bed.

He groans sleepily and brings his arm around me.

"Who are you talking to, Love?" He yawns.

"Joyce," I reply obviously.

"Who?" He frowns in confusion.

"Joyce obviously, she's right over there. She found us," I point over to the corner.

He switches his sight between me and the dark corner. "Y/N, Baby, there's no one there..."

"What do you-" I process his words as I turn back to the corner only to find no one there. "No..." I climb out of bed and hurry to the spot, falling to my knees. "No! No! No!" My hands run over the floor and Spike kneels beside me.

I wail, "no please, don't do this! You can't do this! It isn't fair!"

"What is it? What's wrong?" He pulls me into his chest.

"Make it stop!" I beg at the top of my lungs.

The pain in my chest becomes overwhelming. It's the kick, the suppressed emotions from the last day that the dark magic tucked away returns to me. I feel myself again, fully aware and present. The pain I've caused, the guilt, the self-loathing, it all rushes at me. Joyce did this on purpose. She brought me back. She knew this would hurt enough to revive me.

"Please make it stop! I can't!" I weep.

"Tell me, Baby! What's happening?!" He forces me to look at him, cupping my face.

"It's Joyce... I saw... saw her" I stammer as I pull at the roots of my hair. "... if I saw her and you didn't... she's... she's..."

"Dead," Spike finishes in a whisper of disbelief. He kisses the top of my head and embraces me tighter. "It'll be okay, Love. I promise. I'll get you through this."

__________________________________ 

Masterlist

Tags: @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream @hexmancia @mx-pibbles @setsuna-meiou31

[lochrannn]

AU_gust: Try not to make a scene

Read on AO3

prompt no 22: Theatre

Relationship: Lila Pitts/Diego Hargreeves

Characters: Lila Pitts, Diego Hargreeves

-

So, Lila has royally fucked up.

So badly!

This is definitely going to cost her her job. Probably end her career in theatre, at least in this city.

Shit, she’ll have to go back home.

What was she thinking?

So the aging starlet has been an absolute nightmare to work with and everyone hates her and three people quit the show because she made them cry repeatedly. So what? That’s what theatre is like sometimes, if you can’t tough it out, maybe it’s not for you.

But Lila has always had a contrarian streak and though she has absolutely no intention to let the platinum blond harpy get far enough under her skin that she will quit her job, Lila has made the absolute bonkers decision to send her a dead goldfish via courier to her dressing room.

It’ll fall back on her. They’ll find out eventually and it won’t be hard to fire her. She might be the assistant director but they’ll manage to finish their run of The Commission without her, they will not manage to do that without their, for better or for worse, big name star.

She’s royally fucked!

Looking up the tight busy corridor from the corner she is hiding behind to where she can see the closed dressing room door with a cheap a4 printout of “The Handler” hastily sellotaped to it, Lila wonders whether there is any way she can make it through that door without being noticed, find the small parcel, and then get out again without anyone thinking she’s stolen something.

She bites the skin on the side of her thumb while anxiously worrying her fingernail. She’s momentarily distracted by the pain when there’s suddenly someone right next to her.

“What’s up?” says Diego, one of the riggers who she may or may not have been flirting with over the past month, making her swivel round in irrational panic over her plot being discovered.

“Nothing!” she says so fast that it becomes basically a one syllable word. Great, that couldn’t have been more suspicious.

And just to prove that to her, Diego’s scarred eyebrow, the sexy one that she’s joked about making him look like he’s got some dark and dangerous past, quirks upwards. She’s never said anything about the long scar on the side of his head, she worries he might be sensitive about it. She thinks it’s one of the hottest god damned things she’s ever seen.

Whenever she makes her silly joke, he will smirk at her and say, “Maybe someday I’ll tell you, Pitts.”

So is that flirting or just stagehand banter? She’s not sure.

Diego crosses his arms and leans into her space just a little bit, “You look hella guilty, you know that?”

“Uhm,” Lila just says putting her thumb back between her teeth and staring back at the fucking “The Handler”’s dressing room door.

“Oh shit, you really did do something!” Diego says with a disbelieving grin on his face and Lila starts shushing him, vaguely putting a hand up against his face and his chest to get her point across, and then momentarily gets distracted by how hard his pecs feel under his black cotton t-shirt.

But apparently there’s also a sufficient amount of panic in her expression, because Diego softens and says, “Hey, maybe I can help you, yeah?”

Something about the sudden gentleness makes Lila completely defenseless and before she knows it, she’s telling him everything.

“So I may have, in a moment of blind rage, sent a parcel to our star,” and she fills those words with so much venom that she herself thinks she’s being petty and then feels strangely embarrassed in front of Diego, who is definitely less involved in the infighting between the actors and the production team. “Anyway, I don’t actually want her to get it, so now I don’t know how to get it out without anyone seeing me.”

She hasn’t really noticed that while she was whispering intensely at Diego who obligingly leaned down towards her so that he could hear, they have actually moved all the way down the corridor and are now only a couple of feet from the offending dressing room.

“I could be your lookout,” Diego stage whispers with a shrug and Lila slaps him gently and shushes him again.

“Jesus, Diego, people are running up and down this corridor all the time, there’s no point in a lookout!”

“Then what do you suggest?” he asks with a bit of irritation and Lila can’t really blame him for it, after all he’s only trying to help.

“No need for the attitude,” she grumbles instead of actually expressing her thanks. She gets a well deserved eyebrow quirk in return.

And that sparks a thought.

In the span of a second she goes backwards and forwards on her idea but she really has no time to contemplate all of the consequences, so she gets on tiptoes, leans into Diego and presses her lips to his.

Diego freezes in surprise.

But he doesn’t push her off and he isn’t not kissing her back (which Lila files away to examine at a later stage), but after two beats he does pull away, warm palms resting on her shoulders, and breaths out, “What the fuck?”

Oh now he knows how to whisper quietly! It sends a shiver down Lila’s spine.

“Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable,” she repeats a line she heard once in a film and then promptly leans back into him and apparently, and to her own utter shock, Diego accepts that explanation and he puts his arms around her and somehow gets their tongues involved.

Momentarily distracted by how stupidly soft and pillowy his lips are, Lila is taken by surprise when he pushes her up against the door behind her and then suddenly it gives way and in the next moment they’re inside the dressing room, no longer holding onto each other but only inches apart and a little out of breath.

She’s staring up into his eyes and he looks a little shell shocked himself until he literally shakes his head gently, probably to clear his thoughts, and says, “So what are we looking for?”

Lila jerks a bit, as if only fully understanding where she is and why when he speaks to her, and stutters out a dumb, “Uh.. Uhm!” and turns around to the shabby desk with the makeup mirror above it.

And there it is, her stupid package.

Oh fuck and she’d even put a smarmy red bow on it, hadn’t she?

Lila grabs it and turns on her heels making her way straight back to the door, Diego close behind, but when she grabs the handle she stops.

“What?” Diego asks hastily, now probably caught up in her panic, even though none of this actually has anything to do with him.

He’s standing right next to her, shoulder pressed against the wall beside the door, clearly ready to bolt the moment she opens it.

“We can’t walk out there like this, it’d be too suspicious,” Lila rushes out, then clamps the little package under her arm, trying not to think too hard about what’s inside, and starts dragging her hand through her hair a couple of times.

“Gotta make it look believable,” she says by way of explanation as she reaches up and messes up Diego’s much shorter hair.

Then, on a whim, because she’s feeling devious, she lets her hand drop to the back of his neck, pulls herself up against him for the second time in only five minutes, puts her lips to his throat, and starts sucking a hickey into Diego’s skin.

“Jesus,” Diego breathes out and his hands flutter to her hips and grab on tight.

And for a second Lila’s lost in the moment. Her whole body is pressed against his and maybe he’s got a screwdriver in his pocket, or maybe this stupid fucking plan is as much of a turn on for Diego as it is for her, but that thought brings her back around to why she’s here in the first place and the horrifying contents of the parcel under her arm, and Lila ends up killing the mood for herself and pulls away.

When Diego dazedly follows her along as if he’s about to kiss her, it takes all of her mental strength to put a hand on his chest and hold him off.

“We’d better go!” All amusement has gone from her voice and Lila feels both excillerated and like this was the dumbest fucking plan she’s ever persued.

Now she has a dead goldfish in a package under her arm and the rigger she’s had a crush on since she started working here is trying to make out with her a bit more, but maybe that’s not all she wants.

Diego pulls away the second she starts putting distance between them and they slip out the door to an empty corridor.

Lila turns around to Diego, glad that her complexion will mostly hide how much her cheeks are burning, and doesn’t manage to look him in the eyes to say, “Ok, thanks! Bye!” before turning around and actually jogging away down the hall.

-

Later that evening, when the audience has left, the actors have mostly headed out to the bars and clubs of the city, and only a small amount of crew are still backstage to prep for the next day, Lila heads out through the loading bay to get to the subway.

That’s not how she usually leaves. Usually she leaves through the front door, not the stage door, but maybe today, for no particular reason, she just wants to take a quick look at who is still around from the rigging crew.

And as she passes by one of the darker nooks, shrouded from view by heavy stage curtains, she feels a hand wrap around her arm and she’s slowly turned towards Diego, who has an almost shy smile on his face. Then he lets her arm go.

“You can’t kiss a guy like that and then expect him to be able to think about anything else for the rest of the day,” he says softly, just about managing to meet her eyes.

Suddenly, his shyness makes her feel bold and she says with a bit of a smirk, “Yeah, and what kind of kiss is that?”

Diego’s smile brightens, and it’s a thing to behold, as he reaches his hand up, tucks her hair behind her ear and then leans in to gently suck on her jaw just below her ear.

Lila is almost embarrassed to hear herself gasp.

But then he moves to her lips and they kiss much more gently than earlier, and yet it's somehow hotter, as she puts her hands on his chest and Diego reaches the hand that’s not still on her neck to the small of her back and pulls her in closer.

Then he suddenly breaks the kiss and looks at her earnestly and Lila is worried for a moment before he says with mild curiosity, “So you gonna tell me what was in that package?”

Lila hesitates for a moment, then thinks he deserves the truth and also it might explain just how fucked she would have been if she hadn’t gone to such drastic measures.

“Dead goldfish.”

“Shit, you really are crazy,” he deadpans in response and Lila is about to protest but Diego leans back in and silences her with his lips and tongue.

[karanan]

Gonna ramble a bit about Mass Effect

I started playing Mass Effect Andromeda out of boredom while sick last week (I’m better now, if occasionally still coughing up leftover throat sludge), I bought it on a sale when it was a couple of months old back in 2017 but never played it. I remember starting it up and getting so mad at the terrible character creator I kind of shut it off and forgot it existed. I remember there was a lot of controversy around the game when it came out, and after the absolute shitshow that was ME3′s ending and all that jazz, I didn’t have a lot of faith in the series at the time. So it faded into obscurity until now. I still had it installed so I thought why not. I know they’ve made some critical patches by now but I have to say, I don’t get the hate at all. Given the response, I was expecting a mess. Judging by the product, there for sure was some fuckery going down during development (some bits are so janky haha but far from unplayable) to whatever degree. But I’m personally super much enjoying the game, I’ve been playing obsessively every day, and when I’m not playing, I’m thinking about it. I’ve been a fan of ME for over 10 years now (wow it’s truly been some time) and I love being back in the universe. I’m forever a huge slut for sci-fi, and there’s a special spot in my heart for “hard” sci-fi, or stuff that’s based on our real world. Now, I adored Commander Shepard in the original trilogy, I’ve always played femshep, which was really important to me as a 17-year-old-and-beyond because there had never really been any badass space hero women in the media I consumed before then. Nor had I played anything even remotely in the genre. I saw her as a role model, to be honest. So for Andromeda, I decided to go with the male Ryder twin. For variety. Also probably something something coming out as trans since my teens. Anyway, I loathe the character creator so despite every fibre of my being yelling out, I went with the default Scott Ryder. Because he’s honestly cute as hell and I can’t fight intergalactic crime if I ain’t virtually cute. I’m kind of obsessed he’s so adorable! And it’s nice as a contrast to Shepard’s hardass marine ways (even tho I love her and always made her a bleeding heart paragon), he’s a giant fucking nerd, pure of heart and dumb of ass. I love the theme of exploration and the pursuit of knowledge, loving and respecting existence in all its forms... just going to bonkers dangerous places for the pure discovery of it. Also the family story gets to me, ngl. Cliché as it is I also have a sibling I would murder for and... strained relationships with my parents so I guess I’m biased. But it gets to me.

But yeah, the way you get to interact with people and the galaxy at large as Ryder really clicks with me, I like most of the dialogue choices. And of course a giant plus that I get to be openly and ragingly space bisexual (though of course I curse bioware for having some companions be straight, come it’s 2800-whatever I thought we’d be over that by then). Options as always are limited but I’ll take what I can get. The friendships are really wholesome too. I haven’t beat the game yet, and aside from side-romancing Reyes, I haven’t decided if I should let Scott have a proper love interest yet. It might be too late though, I think I’m nearing endgame. But regardless, the combat and gameplay in general is tons of fun to me, I like biotically parkouring around on strange planets, and some of the fights are challenging enough to keep me on my toes. The difficult choices sure punch me in the face sometimes, much to my delight and discomfort (as it should be). And boy true to series formula is there tons and tons of lore and fluff text to pore over!

Anyway I just wanted to yell about it because I’m having a lot of fun with it, feel really inspired. Also Mass Effect is actually the real reason I made a tumblr blog, many moons ago so it’s fun to come full circle in a sense. I doubt I’ll stay obsessed long after finishing the game since the lukewarm response probably means no sequels or anything :(  It’s sad when you can tell people on the dev team put a lot of love and heart into it but were obviously shot in the ass by EA the whole way thru. But I’ll enjoy it for what it is while I’m at it!

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 49: Atrévete a soñar

Harry hadn’t anticipated that his girlfriend pregnancy would be hard for him as well. He didn’t want to use this card as he knew that a million thoughts were crossing Carol’s mind, and she might or might not have had the time to go over them and come to terms herself of this big life changing moment of their lives due to her completely packed work schedule... and she was the one growing a tiny human from scratch. It was her body handling all the changes that came with it.

He had made a promise that he’d do everything he possibly could to make everything as comfortable as possible for her. She wouldn’t be in need of anything on his watch; he made sure to keep her refrigerator full of healthy food and lots of snacks that she could pack and take to the office with her – sometimes going to the store himself -, he had asked one of his drivers to be alert to any calls or texts from Carol, as he was now on duty to use Harry’s private car to take her to and from work. She was getting nauseous when using the tube and he promptly suggested this new arrangement – which surprisingly, she had accepted without a fight.

He also made sure he was present on her daily life. Calling every day that they were apart and stopping by her place every other day. Sometimes she’d ask him to stay and sometimes she didn’t. Harry didn’t mind all the work to keep the ball rolling on his duty and job and to take care of his girlfriend and baby, nothing was as hard as to deal with Carol nowadays.

She was picking fights on the silliest stuff and that was driving him completely bonkers. He didn’t seem to win no matter what he tried and that besides being frustrating as fuck, also was tiring and annoying. He had to remember that she wasn’t like this all the time nor she would be after the baby was out, but the Prince was seriously considering that this baby would be their one and only child.

For the time being, he had nothing to do but get used to Carol’s mood swings by each passing day. Every day was a surprise where he didn’t know which Carol he’d get. The sweet one, the teary-eyed one, the bitch one or the wicked witch of the west one. He couldn’t deny that sometimes it was difficult as fuck to keep up with her snappy and bitchy attitude for no reason whatsoever.

The cycle seemed to be: she’d bitch him and then start crying because she didn’t really mean it. Or whenever he did something good for her (God forbid he sent flowers to her office just because!), she’d say that he was way too overbearing and fussy.

“Women get pregnant every day and everywhere in the world without your suffocating habits and they end up just fine without your overwhelming concern and need to keep me under your watch all the time.” she had said once.

Just to start crying right after and say that lots of women also yearned for their partner’s support and most didn’t have it at all during the pregnancy. And that he was just by her side, by choice, taking care of them. Loving and cherishing them, regardless of this being an unplanned pregnancy and that she was a heartless and mean bitch while he had all the best intentions on his heart.

Needless to say the couple were arguing more now than ever and most of the time Harry would take the blame or excuse himself out of the room to take a deep breath and to remember that his Carol wasn’t like this.

It also felt very weird to argue with an overly emotional pregnant lady.

He tried to remember that this was just a very hormonal version of the woman he loved. Also a test to see if what he felt for her would come out stronger after this trying time. It’s easy to love someone when everything is fine, but true love is proved when the wind is blowing hard and you have not choice but hold onto each other to make sure you (and her) are safe.

He knew that she was stressed with her Masters degree, still keeping top grades whilst having a full time job and working a scary amount of hours every week (which he had already asked her to take it a little bit slow) and also travelling with her project.

He did want her to take a break and take it easy. If it was up to him, Carol would spend her days resting and sleeping to her heart’s content – as she always complained about how sleepy and tired she felt – but wouldn’t dare to even think about suggesting about quitting her job. She’d throw a massive fit and say that she would keep earning her own money as she didn’t need or want his thank you very much.

Some days, and those were rare, Harry was lucky enough to get glimpses of his girlfriend – and that’s what helped to take a relieved breath: knowing somewhere deep down that ugly surface was his sweet and loving girlfriend.

She usually would ask for very weird combinations of food – which he’d always go fetch for her; and have an insatiable sex drive — that he’d be more than happy oblige; and apologize non-stop for being a bitch on steroids to him.

He would forgive her – of course, as there wasn’t anything to really forgive her for - and they would get to chat and try to plan their future as her bump would only grow from now on and they needed to strengthen their relationship and become a real team to face, first and foremost, their parents and then the Institution Harry belonged to.

“What do you want to do?” Harry asked in one of the few blissful nights where they hadn’t argued over meaningless things. They were relaxing on his bed, after an afternoon full of amazing sex that left both of them exhausted. He was lying on his back and had his hands leisurely caressing her thighs.

“Obviously I want you around and to keep the baby.” she was eating ice cream straight from the box. “The big question is: what can we do?”

“Well… I don’t even know what our options really are. Everything I think I know is just wishful thinking. We would need to face a meeting with the Firm and its minions to know for sure. I know that my father and grandmother will demand a wedding.” he side-looked at her, half expecting to have a flying spoon over his head.

“I really don’t want to get married on these circumstances.” she replied and he waited for her to finish. “I do want to get married someday but not just because you knocked me up. It’s the 21st century after all.”

“Although I am part of and represent an Institution that is stuck ten centuries behind. But never mind.”

They both laughed at that.

“I will ask permission for you to move in with me. Don’t think gran will oppose much to that as Kate and Will did it. Before you start your feminist rant...” he laughingly cut her speech, knowing that she’d come up with something to refute. “I know that you love your flat and that it is comfortable enough for the two of you and that you can pay all the bills with money to spare but...” he pecked her lips, to distract her – lest she started to yell at him after a perfect day - and stole some of her vanilla ice cream, making sure to avoid the weird toppings she added in there. “It’s not safe. For any of us. And if we would try and make it safe, it’d cost way more than renting a moving truck and a storage unit for your things as obviously we don’t need new furniture here, except for baby things.”

He could actually hear her mind running wild with thoughts and ways to refuse his offer.

“At Kensington we already have the privacy, the security system, bullet-proof windows, armored cars and 24/7 people on call whenever he or she starts screaming in the middle of the night and we need a rest.”

She smacked his shoulder playfully.

“But…” he continued. “If Gran says we can’t stay here, then I would gladly buy us a house. And pay for the security system and features.”

“You’re insane.” she stated.

“Why you say that?” he was confused.

“Buying a house just for this...”

“”This” Carolina” - he pointed his finger between them to emphasize his point - “is my family and I very much intend to be close by even though you seem to not stand to look at me for more than a few seconds these days. You would help me choose somewhere suitable for us, that has everything we need, and then we would move in together and not marry right away as it seems to be your desire.”

“Why do I sense there are other options that you’re hiding from me?”

“Well… The options of what we will be advised to do are endless. If we start playing “what ifs” and imagining scenarios that might be presented to us, we’d be here all night. There are, though, some options that stand out from these possibilities… For example: I might have to renounce my title.”

She had a shocked expression on her face.

“Says that Pa and Gran demand a wedding and we say that we don’t want to marry under pressure. We might be denied the request of you moving in. So then I’d need to move out and with that – no wedding, kicked out – the press will have a field day, change the public’s view on me and as I’d just be the prince who tarnished the name of the family, again mind you…” he laughed and continued. “Thank heavens Will and Kate have already two children to claim the throne and out goes Harry.” he joked.

“I’m sorry.” she said, already drying the tears after what he said.

He talked about it as if it was a joke but being part of royalty were what made Harry who he was. Give up on it because of her wishes was a very hard thing to do. She considered in that moment if she shouldn’t let go of her stubbornness and just get married so he’d get to keep everything that was rightfully his.

“In that scenario our child wouldn’t have a place in the succession line. We would have more freedom. This part is what I like the most of this option.”

“What do you want to do?” she asked him sincerely.

“Honestly I’d like to marry you. Pressure or not, if you were up to it we would go to the town hall tomorrow.” he waited until the shocked expression on her face faded. “We could live somewhere else than Kensington – don’t care much for that part. I don’t want our children to have titles. it’s a fucking burden to bear, but he or she will be upgraded to prince or princess whenever father is King anyway.”

“Do you think our marriage would work? I personally don’t think I’d be able to face a divorce. I want all of ‘until death us do part’.” she finished the ice cream and left the empty box on Harry’s bedside table and turned to look at him.

“Of course it would…” she looked at him pointedly and asked him to think with his mind and not heart. “Ok… thank you for the reality check. I think that we are very good to and for each other. Relationship is something you build and take care of each day. As long as we’re both committed to our success, I do believe we could go forever. We’re both children from divorced parents and I think we agree that we wouldn’t want that for our children. But also we wouldn’t want an unhealthy environment for them to grow up at, just like we did. So if it came to a point where our relationship became toxic, we would need to separate our ways.”

“That’s a more sensible response Mr. Wales.” she pecked his lips again.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for us to keep guessing what might happen. It’s way too many options. It’ll drive us crazy... I would rather think and chose something that is actually given to us to think about.”

“Do you think you can have an appointment with The Queen after my 12th week milestone?” she was biting her lips as a nervous trait.

“I shall see to it.” he answered.

“Then we will be presented with options and decide what’s best for our family.”

“Ok...” he helped her to lie down. She was wearing one of his pajamas shirts and her ten-week bump showing. He caressed it and then placed a soft kiss on it.

“I do want to tell my mom first. Can we?”

“We can do whatever you want, darling.”

“So after we pass that milestone, I will call her and then we will sit with The Queen to discuss.”

“In the meantime I will do my best to keep you hidden.” he said.

“Which won’t work as we have Tommy’s Christening to attend.” she laughed.

“And are you OK with that?” he was still caressing her bump. “I know that you want to go, but don’t you think it’d be better if you stayed home? Or maybe just attended the reception afterwards? There’s a great chance of being spotted. Are you ready for it? Your life as you know it will be forever changed… and for that I am deeply sorry.”

“Well… I don’t want to miss it and sooner or later I will be spotted. We won’t arrive together or sit together during the service. But I do think the press will put 1+1 together and link me to all other photos… As I will be the only unknown person there. And I know what I’ve signed up for upon agreeing to be your girlfriend and carrying your child. No one will ever be ready for that. And I will need to rely on you a lot.” she sighed.

(…)

Carol had asked Hailey to design something for as she had no idea what to wear on a Christening. She had been flattered when Lara had sent an invitation that said “Honorary godmother” for her, she truly wasn’t expecting an invitation to such an intimate and formal event. 

She was at her sister’s studio – which was a spare room at her house – surrounded by lots of fabrics, sketches, pictures and at least three sewing machines. This was the last fitting of the pink dress Hailey had said would work for a morning event.

“You really should stop eating junk food Carolina.” Hailey said when noticed that the dress wasn’t closing as smoothly as it was three weeks before. “You’re getting chubby.”

Concentrating on not laughing or spilling the beans, she simply nodded.

“Thank goodness the Christening is in two days or I’d have to loosen up this dress, again.” Hailey said clearly irritated. “Never show up on time on fitting days and when you do show up, you’ve gained weight. Good Lord.” she mumbled to herself and when finished, she let Carol look at herself in the mirror.

She was in awe. Even barefoot, without her hair done and make up-free she was feeling pretty. Which was a first ever since she learned she was carrying her bundle of joy. The dress had 7/8 sleeves, the front had a draped finish and the skirt that ended just above her knees was made of feathers in the same colour.

“It’s amazing, Hailey. Thank you” Carol said turning around to see. “I think I want you designing my whole wardrobe.”

“Let’s not get carried away, shall we?” Hailey joked. “Now you just need shoes and accessories. Please don’t ruin my creation.” 

“I might stop by at Harrod’s later and see if I can find anything.”

“Maybe go with a big hat to cover your face?” her sister offered knowing that Carol would have her life turned upside down any moment now.

“That’s exactly what I am going for.”

(…)

Carol had asked for a day off on Friday before the christening and packed everything she was going to need for the weekend affair. All godparents (Harry, Skippy’s sister Victoria, Lara’s brother Henry, Eugenie and Jake Warren) were to check in at the luxurious Luton Hoo Hotel for a welcome luncheon and to rehearse (Carol didn’t understand why a Christening would need a rehearsal but didn’t comment on it). Then the other guests would arrive on Saturday at noon for the Service and then attend a brunch afterwards. The godparents were expected to stay at the hotel and enjoy it’s spa, checking out only on Sunday evening after a thank you dinner.

Carol had to pack way too many outfits and right now she was fitting well into only half of her clothes because of her bump. She was accompanying Harry for the three day stay as per Lara’s request. The brunette had bought a small golden bracelet with Tommy’s name engraved as a gift and hoped his parents would like it.

Harry asked Bill to carry Carol’s luggage to the waiting car while he kissed his girlfriend and – when he checked they were truly alone - her bump.

“You both ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes! I need to see that little red headed cherub!” she said happily.

They went to the car, both sitting on the back seats, buckling up and talking animatedly about the party and Harry explaining what was expected of her. This was Carol’s first formal encounter with people he had known his whole life. Most of them were daughters and sons of his parents’ friends and they all have been a tight knit group ever since they were born. 

Skippy and Lara had opted for a small gathering of closest family members and a few selected friends – Carol was so relieved about it, she didn’t think she’d be able to face a big gathering right now. Thankfully she knew some of the guests that would likely attend as she didn’t want to be left alone while Harry was on godfather duty.

“So Eugenie is coming?” she asked.

“Yes… She’s also a godmother, remember?” he replied.

“Oh thank God. I think I only know her and Jack and Jake and Zoe. Are you sure Arthur and Alessandra are not attending?”

“Yes. Alessandra had to do something in California and Arthur went with her.” he traced the worry lines on her forehead. “Don’t stress too much, Carol. I will be by your side most of the time.”

“I know… it’s just…” she started and he waited. “Nevermind.”

“What is it darling?” Harry said holding her hand.

“I can’t help but feel inadequate to attend such an event.”

“It’s the Christening of your friends’ kid. How on earth can you be inadequate?” he was confused.

“Said friends are aristocrats, barons and baronesses... Close enough to the monarchy… and I’m… I’m just… me.” she said, not looking at him.

“Carol, trust me. Your accomplishments are way greater than what any of us will ever have. You fought your way through life to get to where you are now. We all just had it all handed to us on silver spoons, quite literally. If not actually handed, doors were opened because of connections and surnames.” he kissed her temple. “Also, if anyone think any less of you, it’s their loss. You did point out a few days ago that we’re on the 21st century after all.”

“Hopefully I won’t embarrass you. I don’t know a single thing about etiquette.” she said, biting her lower lip.

“I’ve done my share of embarrassment enough. Nothing you do will ever beat my Vegas trip. Don’t worry. If anyone treats you badly, let me know. Or just go find a familiar face to chat, Ok?”

“Ok. Thank you.”

“You’ve got it. Just keep your charming self and you’ll be fine.” he added kissing her knuckles.

She admired the change in the scenery as they left busy central London to the countryside on their way to Luton. Carol was still feeling uneasy, but decided to have some water to try and calm her stomach. Being driven on the “wrong” side of the road still scared her and she was trying to believe in what Harry had said and not what her mind was shouting at her.

The hotel was a newly renewed manor and it’s perfect tended lawn and lakes were quite imposing. Harry offered his hand to help her out of the car and they went to the lobby to check-in. He usually asked Bill to do it, but wanted to give some sense of normalcy to his girlfriend, so decided to do it himself. He obviously understood that Carol knew who he was and knew that he had some privileges and hadn’t to bother with some tasks as everything he could possible need would’ve been taken care of in a matter of seconds.

He also didn’t want to scare her away – or let her think that he was incapable of doing things for himself. He wanted to tone it down a bit, and let her see that they could mix her humble upbringing with his luxurious and privileged one. He was set to make an effort and be more hands-on on tasks that the rest of the world did on a daily basis.

“The rest of the world don’t go to a 5 start hotel for the weekend.” he thought to himself, shaking his head, while signing the paper the receptionist gave to him.

She couldn’t help but notice the clear shift on the staff behaviour when they spotted Harry. They all bowed or curtsied to him, all of them curious – but obviously not asking – as to who she was. Harry intertwined their fingers while he spoke to the attendant at the lobby, to reassure her. Bill and the other bodyguards appearing just seconds later with their luggage and attentively looking around the seemingly empty lobby.

Apparently they had a paparazzi free travel and he was thankful for that. Harry had booked the mansion state suite for them, which was bigger than her whole apartment. Their California king bed was so inviting and she wanted to take a nap so badly but knew that she couldn’t. As she was travelling comfortable – another reason to have been looked upon by the staff -, she knew that she’d have to change for the luncheon.

Soon, some of the hotel staff was unpacking their luggage and organizing everything in the walk in closet in full speed. She didn’t even have the time to ask them to leave it – as fast as they came, they were gone.

Harry was on his phone and she didn’t want to listen to his conversation, opting to go to the bathroom for a quick shower to help her to stay awake. It might have been the car movement that had her so sleepy. The bath robe available was so soft and slightly warmed that it almost made the somewhat “wake up” cold shower ineffective. She styled her hair in a sleek ponytail and opted to wear one of the dresses that concealed her growing belly. She applied make up – making it simple – and went to the bedroom to fetch both Tommy’s gift and her heels.

“You look amazing darling.” Harry said when he spotted her yawning. “Tired, huh?”

“So much...” she whispered.

“I will try to find an excuse for you, and then you both can rest a bit.” He said, kissing her neck while resting his hands on her belly.

“Good luck with that.” she laughed.

He helped her with her shoes and changed clothes as fast as he could to go to one of the banquet halls where the invitation said the luncheon would be held. He had one hand on Carol’s lower back, protectively and also to guide her through the doors. He could hear the footsteps of his bodyguards behind them and made a mental note to ask Bill to increase the distance between them a little bit. This was going to be a stressful event for Carol and he didn’t want her feeling suffocated.

Their heard Tommy crying before they arrived at the hall. Exchanging a concerned look, they hushed to the Victorian styled room. Lara was holding her cherub, pacing the room, making soothing noises while Skippy was searching for something inside the diaper bag until he retrieved a pacifier. Carol went directly to Lara.

“Carol! I’m glad you came.” Lara said, side hugging her friend while rocking the little boy and looking for her husband. “I’m sorry. He’s fussy today.”

“Is he okay?” Harry asked concerned.

“Don’t mention it! Hi Tommy.” Carol said in a sing-song voice, caressing his red locks. “Auntie Carol is here.”

“He’s fine mate. Have just woken up.” Skippy replied when arriving with the pacifier, giving it to his son who stopped crying immediately. He greeted his best friend and Carol, asking them to make themselves comfortable while they waited for some people to arrive to start serving the food.

“Carol” Lara asked after a few pleasantries were exchanged. “Do you mind coming with me?”

“Sure.” Carol handed her clutch to Harry to hold, grabbed Tommy’s diaper bag and followed Lara to the nearest bathroom that smelled like lavender which immediately made her head hurt and her stomach to turn, even before pregnancy she hated the scent to lavender. 

Thankfully she hadn’t eaten much until now. The room was large – like everything in this hotel it seemed -, with marble sinks and stalls, gold details, everything screaming “tastefully luxurious”, it also had two deep burgundy upholstered chairs

“It’s my turn to change this little man’s nappy and I think he’s getting hungry.” Lara said happily undoing his onesie buttons, while Carol handed her the wipes and a clean nappy. “I’m glad you came. We won’t have much time to catch up this weekend, though. But we should go out sometime. Maybe lunch?”

“We’ve been busy, haven’t we?” Tommy smiled melting both women’s hearts. “I wish I was busy with this little man… Office work is so boring.”

Carol disposed of the used diaper and arranged everything back into the bag while Lara sat on one of upholstered chairs and got ready to feed her baby, Carol sat across from her friend. She watched at how lovingly she talked to and looked at her son and how happy the infant latched on.

She noticed in that moment that she wanted that so badly. Her love for her child was already one of the strongest feeling she ever felt. She knew that her baby was her reason to believe in a better tomorrow and to fight for it. She knew she’d move heavens and earth to make this child protected. Her mama bear instinct kicked right in at full force.

Her hand unconsciously went to her bump caressing it. She wanted to be a mum and in that moment she finally figured out that she was going to be a mother in a few months’ time. She wanted to feel the first kicks, she wanted to hold her baby close to her and get to know everything about her little bundle of joy: his or her preferences, mannerisms, personality, dreams...

“Why are you crying?” Lara asked after she looked up at her friend and saw the brunette with tears on her eyes.

“It’s nothing...” Carol said drying her tears.

“Carol… Is anything the matter?” Lara was preoccupied.

Carol got up to fetch a tissue and dry her tears. She took a deep breath and smiled at Lara.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol blurted.

“Beg your pardon?” Lara looked at her with a shocked expression on her face.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol repeated slowly this time.

“What is it with us and bathrooms when it comes announcing pregnancies?” Lara laughed. “How far along? You weren’t planning to tell me, were you?”

“I’m ten weeks along, we found out a couple of weeks ago. And no, no one was supposed to know before the twelve week mark… but seeing you with him, I just realized that I want this so badly and these damn hormones made my mouth talk faster than my brain could think.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is well kept. I’d hug you but master here is hungry.” they smiled and Carol sat down again. “How are you feeling?”

“I didn’t have many symptoms before I found out, but then, I became tired, breasts sore, sleepy and snappy.” they laughed and Lara commented it was very normal.

“And how’s Harry?”

“Over the moon. I think he wants to spread the word like wildfire… He’s wanted this for so long.” Carol smiled caressing her bump. “But he’s into an overprotective mode that is annoying.”

“Expected. He will be like this for the rest of your lives… Stop fighting it and get used to it, Carol. After everything that has happened to his family, it’s quite obvious that he won’t let anything of the sort happen again.” Lara said. “I’m glad for you. They will be close in age!”

“Thank you for not pointing out the out of wedlock implicit in this news.” Carol said when Tommy unlatched and smiled at his mum.

“Well… you’re welcome? What are you guys going to do about it?” she gave the baby to Carol, together with a burp cloth while she clasped her nursing bra and adjusted the dress again. Carol was gently burping the baby.

“We will know for sure in two weeks. I’m trying not to think about it just yet.” she sighed.

“Do try to enjoy the peace while it lasts. We are definitely scheduling a lunch date after you have “The talk” and I will be all ears for you.” she kissed her friend’s temple.

After the baby was properly burped, the ladies made their way back to the hall where Harry had a glass of scotch on one hand, talking to Jake, Skippy and Jack, probably about football. Carol and Lara took their turns to greet the new comers, with Zoe and Eugenie cooing over the baby on Carol’s arms. Harry’s eye twinkled admiring his girlfriend thinking that soon, it’d be their baby on her arms.

Carol stood beside Harry, playing with Tommy only half listening to what people were saying around her.

“I see that Tommy’s stolen my girl.” Harry joked, caressing Carol’s lower back.

“I think it’s the ginger hair.” Eugenie joked.

“Of course it’s the ginger hair – and the cute face. It’s nice to look at one for a change.” Carol joked.

“Ok, gotta keep you too separated. You girls teaming up will be the death of me.” Harry joked.

Reluctantly Carol gave Tommy to his father while Harry introduced her to the people he knew. Basically everyone in the room was a Lord/Lady or Baron and she felt a little intimidated but didn’t let it show. Carol first met Skippy’s parents and his stepmother, she knew his father was one of Prince Charles’ best friend – and he was studying her. Clearly his friend would know that his younger son had a new girlfriend by this evening. She was polite but let Harry do the small talk. Then it was Lara’s side of the family, she was introduced to her father and brother. Skippy’s sister  was the easiest to get along with… she shared the same sense of humor as her brother’s.

Carol was relieved when she found her assigned place at one of the round tables spread against the hall. It had a round floral vase in the centre, cutlery (lots of it) were made of silver and the glasses were crystal. Harry was sitting at her left and Jack at her right, followed by Eugenie, Jake and Zoe. Knowing everyone made things easier for her and Eugenie kindly asked her boyfriend to exchange places so she could sit by Carol’s side. Both of them engaged on a conversation during the first course. Eugenie was discreetly pointing to the right cutlery without anyone noticing and Carol gave her a polite smile as a thank you.

“Don’t need to be nervous, Carol.” Eugenie said at some point. “You’ll get used to it. And thankfully the only members of the Royal family here will be Harry and I. You’ll do just fine.”

(…)

Carol excused herself from the rehearsal. She wouldn’t play an important part during the ceremony anyway and she wanted a nap. Lara, now being even more empathetic with her friend, didn’t fuss about it and Carol went to their luxurious suite and straight to the bed, not even bothering in changing clothes or removing her make up.

She woke up later with feather-like kisses on her face and slowly opened her eyes to a very handsome Harry.

“Hi.” he said smiling to her.

“Hi” she answered back.

“I’ve missed you” he said nuzzling his nose on her neck, giving her the now familiar goosebumps.

“It’s been only a couple of hours.” she caressed his beard.

“It looks like an eternity for me.” he was laying on the bed beside her. “Did you get the rest that you need?”

“I did, yes.” she yawned and stretched. “Fully charged now.”

They shared a laugh and Carol positioned her head on his chest and one of her legs between his. He instantly held her, playing with her hair.

“I’ve asked Lara for you to enter through the back door tomorrow. I think I’m not ready to share you with the world just yet.”

“Thank you.” she whispered.

“My heart almost skipped a beat when I saw you with Tommy today.” he said and she could hear the smile on his voice. “My girl with a ginger baby on her arms… If you weren’t pregnant already you’d be getting tonight.”

They both laughed hard at that.

“Don’t be so cocky.”

“It’s just… you know that you’re giving me something I’ve wanted for a long time. Don’t you?” he said after a while. “A family of my own to protect, to take care of and provide for. A child to teach lots of things – someone to be a better version of myself. Thank you, Carol. I know this is hard for you. But I promise to be there every step of the way.”

She was crying after he finished his speech and he knew it. He didn’t mention or made fun of her because of that, but he only held her tighter and kissed her temple.

(…)

Carol woke up early on Saturday morning. It took her a while to untangle herself from Harry’s arms but she managed it. Putting on the robe to cover her now naked body, she went to the living room space of their suite and asked for breakfast to be delivered for them. She took a quick shower and started setting up her make up and hairdresser station on the bathroom vanity when Harry woke up and went to her, hugging her from behind.

“Morning.” he said trying to open her robe and receiving a playful slap afterwards.

“Morning!” she replied.

“Do you have time for a quickie before you start making yourself even more beautiful?” he asked seductively.

“Now now Mr. Wales… we did have four very “longies�� last night. You can’t possibly be still horny.” she said looking at him through the mirror.

“Well… your bigger breasts make me hard. I can’t help it.” he said circling her nipples with his thumb.

“If we start, we are going to be late. So, your Royal Horniness, keep yourself together and we shall deal with it afterwards.” she fastened the robe belt again while he pouted and sat on the counter.

“Why do you need all of this?” he asked pointing to all of the make up she brought, changing the subject and concentrating hard on other things so he’d get rid of the boner he was sporting at the moment.

“It’s not even enough and I want to look nice today.”

“You look nice every day.” he said while watching her washing her face and applying some lotions.

“Thank you.” she said looking at him and pecking his lips.

She started to apply her make up and he didn’t even wanted to ask what all of those things would do, deciding to take a shower before breakfast. She finished faster than he thought, given the amount of things she applied and they enjoyed the perfectly cooked breakfast before changing clothes. 

Harry wanted a picture of Carol wearing that pink dress and noticed that if she placed her hand on her belly, they could see her small bump that seemed to grow by the second. He smiled when mentioned it to her and she said that she would likely have a very big bump.

“You will be a very sexy momma.” he commented while holding her clutch and the present that they had forgotten to give on the day before and went to their friend’s suite.

Skippy opened the door to their suite and informed Carol that Lara was in the bedroom nursing. He and Harry stayed on the living room while Carol went on the search of the baby.

“Morning sunshine.” Lara said when Carol opened the door.

“Good morning!”

Tommy looked around and smiled at Carol before turning and latching once again.

“As soon as he finishes, can you dress him for me, please?” Lara asked and Carol agreed.

“We forgot to give you his present yesterday” Carol gave the small package to her friend. “I hope you like it.”

Lara opened it and thanked her friend for the bracelet. It was very delicate and simple, one that she’d buy herself for her son if she had thought of that and clearly a very well thought present for him.

“I loved it, Carol. Thank you so much.”

After the baby was well fed and burped, Carol dressed him carefully and combed his hair to the side. She then fastened the bracelet on his arms and left Lara alone so she could finish getting ready for them to leave. Upon entering the living room again, with Tommy smiling and happy, Harry’s heart filled with emotion.

“You’re going to kill me.” he whispered to her.

“Why?”

“You with him on your arms, you being so lovely to him and carrying our baby… I can’t wait until it’s our turn.”

(…)

Harry and Carol rode together with Eugenie and Jack to the St. Albans Cathedral. The car stopped first at the back entrance where Carol jumped off and quickly entered the church, finding her assigned place. And then stopped at the front of the church and sure enough, lots of photographers were waiting for them there. Harry and Eugenie waved and entered the church, waiting for Skippy and Lara to arrive. Harry was shifting his weight and looking where Carol was sitting still alone.

“Calm down, Harry. She’s just fine.” Eugenie mentioned.

“I don’t think having her here is a good idea.” He replied.

“Why not?”

“I don’t think she’s ready for what’s to come from the media once they realize who she is.” he sighed.

“It’s not going to be easy, we know that. But you love her and she loves you… and I think she’s a very strong woman. With our support she’ll do just fine.” Eugenie side hugged her cousin.

“Thank you for “our support” part. It means a lot.”

“I really like her…”

“So do I…. Jack, would you mind?” Harry asked.

“Right on it...” he pecked Eugenie’s lips and went to sit beside Carol. It was pretty obvious how she had relaxed after seeing a friendly face and they both started chatting right away.

(…)

The Service was very right to the point but beautiful and moving.

Lara had asked someone to decorate the church with lots of flower arrangements in a mixture of white Casablanca lilies, tulips and Lily of the valley. Tommy was as happy as he could be, trying the eat the program on his mum’s hand and smiling, up until the water touched his head but his daddy soon made him stop crying and cheery again.

Carol was paying attention and making sure she held the best posture as possible, as she knew that some of these people had Prince Charles on speed dial and she wanted to make a good impression.

Even though when you meet him you’re going to announce you’re pregnant… Not the greatest first impression will come out of that.

She shook her head to clear off these thoughts and smiled at her friends when Skippy waved at her from the altar. She was really fighting the urge of placing her hands on her bump and making a mental note of asking Harry how christenings were done in his family. She knew what they shared with the press, but didn’t know how the ceremony was held.

Lara requested everyone present to take a group picture, together with the priest before they left the church. Although Harry had tried to have her beside him, Carol ended up beside Jack on the far right of where he was. After the pictures were taken, Bill appeared signalling it was time to go and Carol left through the back entrance going straight to the waiting car.

At moment, as they had rehearsed, Harry and Eugenie left the church through the front door together with the other attendants and stopped to take a few pictures with his godson as Lara wanted.

Everyone else started to get into their cars to head to the reception whilst Harry, Eugenie and Jack  conveniently stayed behind to stop and wave to the press – just to make sure that Carol’s car would be long gone without anyone following.

Jack was the one driving this car and he could see that the Prince was nervous and he could relate to that… He was the one arriving at the family and even then it was very difficult. As soon as they entered the Hotel’s grounds – out of sight of the paps that began following them - Harry got out of the car before it even fully stopped moving and bolted straight through the corridors until he found the reception room. Carol was there, sipping on some water and he immediately hugged her.

“Are you alright, darling?” he was carefully checking her to make sure she wasn’t going to hide anything.

“Yes, just fine… I think I’m still undercover.” she said. “Bill is a great security man, Harry. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t like the idea of you getting discovered while pregnant...” he confessed.

“I know. I don’t either.” she chastely pecked his lips. “Let’s just not think about it, ok? Everything went fine and the other guests are arriving and you have more pictures to pose for.”

Harry went on godfather mode, still making sure Carol was within his eyesight.

The photographer Lara hired was good, getting all the “must have’ shots as quickly as possible and Harry wanted to have one of him, Carol and Tommy. When he saw the picture on the camera’s display, he knew that it was going straight to the mantle of his fireplace.

________________________________________________

A/N: I hope all of you are keeping safe and sane on this quarantine mode.

Thank you for your continued support! I love to read all of the messages you send me and hopefully you’ll enjoy this quit long chapter.

Xoxo

[kootenaygoon]

So,

He looked tanned. 

Spencer took a luxurious drag on his Belmont, the ember exploding like a mini-supernova in his aviator sunglasses, and exhaled swirling spirits into the early morning mist of Diefenbaker Park. It was two days after Christmas and I’d left my pregnant wife and baby daughter at home to visit his memorial bench, the day after my sister died, and together we sat looking down at the central pond in the distance. I liked that he’d finally grown out his beard again, so that it had a scraggly surfer quality. The afterlife was agreeing with him.

I sighed. “The crazy thing is I’ve been grieving this shit for years, you know? Like I knew this could happen any time, any moment. And then the universe custom-designs this perfect French Exit for her. It was like it was staged,” I said, unpacking the one-gram pre-roll I’d picked up from Vancouver.

“Like think about this: Kristina went into labour on Kathryn’s birthday this year, then one day later Celista is born. Now she dies exactly nine months later, to the day. There’s some weird math there I can’t figure out.”

Spence smiled. “You’re always looking for the patterns.”

There was sweat collecting in my hairline. I’d gotten four hours of sleep, maybe, and I’d smoked half a pack of cigarettes. My family was circling the wagons hard, my other sister flying back from Belgium, and I was being inundated with social media engagements. I knew what was on everybody’s mind: this was exactly the sort of event that could send me back into my hyper-manic tail spin, put me back in the psych ward for the third time.

The thing was, Kathryn was more than a sister. She was me. With our matching dolphin tattoos, our matching blue cars, our blonde hair and our outrageous emotions. She was the female version of me, the sister whose soul was most entangled with mine. For years I’d assumed that one day I would end up derelict in her basement, while she played at domesticity with her healthy suburban brood upstairs. 

She had my back when nobody else did.

“I know she’s still here, man. But I can’t talk to her yet. So I wanted to come to you, you know? See if she’s made it to the other side,” I said. I was crying now, taking puffs off the spliff and blinking heartbroken at the baby blue sky through the clouds. 

Spence took off his aviators. I hadn’t realized he was crying, but now I could see his eyes were red-rimmed. For a moment I wanted to lunge for him, to touch his face with my hands. Then I remembered that he wasn’t there, that he’d been dead for years. Our last meal at Royal Jubilee flashed before my eyes, the way he looked with Canuck-coloured toe nails in his boss robe. Goddamn, I loved him. 

“You know I loved your sister,” he said. “She was family to me.”

I nodded, took another drag. The last time I saw Kathryn, in the basement of our house, she was wrapped up like a Pharaoh in her bedsheets. I touched her little cheek, with Celista riding on my hip, and told her that she wasn’t alone. That she would never be alone, that we were right there with her and death wouldn’t scare us away. With my siblings lined up behind me, I kissed her forehead and ran my hands through her duck fluff hair.

“You were perfect to me.”

Spencer shifted uncomfortably. He hated when I got too demonstrative or weepy, mostly because his emotions made him uncomfortable. Years earlier, when we’d lived together in Victoria, he had a short-lived fling with my sister. I envisioned them being together, making him real family, but the circumstances weren’t right. Shortly later she was married to someone else.

Spence sighed. “I don’t know if I should tell you this.”

“What?”

He took another drag off his Belmont, then ground it into the grass. Slowly he began to explain to me how the afterlife works, how your soul stays connected to what’s going on in the contemporary timeline for a while, but eventually you transcend that. You stop haunting your friends, you stop wondering what’s going on in real time, because you’ve ascended to another plain of being. One with beaches.

“For a while there I was checking in on Taylor all the time, you know, and Shannon. It’s so much easier to be a Facebook creep once you’re dead. I know so much shit I can’t tell you yet,” he said.

“I know everything that happened to you before you met me, and I know everything that’s going to happen to you. I’ve read the whole story now, but we’re not supposed to give spoiler warnings to people who are still alive. That’s not how life works.”

I coughed a few times, and nodded guiltily at an elderly couple walking by with their dog. I hoped they hadn’t seen me talking to myself. I took a deep breath through my nostrils and tried to imagine how Spence’s consciousness was reaching me, whether this imaginary figure before me was a legit spectral presence or just another fucking delusion, like the time I thought J.K. Rowling was my Mom and G.R.R.M was my Dad.

Spencer bit his lip. “We’re not really allowed to intervene, is the thing. So I know when bad things are going to happen, but I can’t do anything to stop them. I’m at peace with it, but those are the rules.”

My heart was beating a little faster. “You knew. You knew this was going to happen and you didn’t tell me.”

A tear dribbled into his beard, and he pulled out another Belmont. “I’m sorry, man. I really am. I would’ve done something if I could’ve. I swear.”

Now I was really crying in public. “I was like twenty feet away, man. When she drew her last breath. It was like I knew I had to be closer to her, like she pulled me back into her orbit. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t know what I could’ve done. I could’ve done so many things,” I said.

“What-ifs are useless, man. You did what you could. You all did. She picked a fight with a demon and it killed her. That’s all there is to it.”

I was starting to get annoyed with Spence, like the time we went on vacation together and I spazzed out at A&W because he complained about the colour of the pickles on his burger. I was going to the trouble of conjuring up his apparition, I figured at least that he’d say something comforting. But that was the thing with Spence, he always told the unvarnished truth. Even when it was uncomfortable.

“So what’s this thing you were going to tell me?”

Spence took a few trembly drags, his fingers shaking. He took a long moment after exhaling. “When I found out what was going to happen to Kathryn, I told you I couldn’t change anything. I had to watch it happen, just like you. But while you were sleeping, I went into Kathryn’s room.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “She was laying on her face, half under the covers, wearing those designer white jeans. She looked so precious, Will. Like Marilyn Monroe.”

I gasped. “Or Princess Di.”

“Exactly.”

I’d never seen Spence this emotional. His eyes were like the Grinch’s as he took another puff. He looked off towards the sand cliffs, and the waterfall where we used to come to drink back in high school. He was pausing because he was trying to work up the courage to say what came next.

“So I crawled into bed with her, Will. I put my arms around her, with her face to my neck, and I cradled her like she was a newborn. I knew she couldn’t hear me, but I whispered to her that I’d be waiting on the other side. With her Gran Dad. I told her she didn’t have to be afraid anymore.”

My joint was finished now. I pulled out a cigarette, and Spencer offered me a light. Was this a pleasing fiction, or was I grasping at some legit truth from beyond the veil? These were exactly the sort of strange thoughts that would get me in trouble, but I needed to have them. I needed to let them out. And I needed to believe Spencer was telling me the truth.

He smiled. “But I didn’t even get to the best part. This is some real Rick and Morty shit.”

I snorted. “What?”

“Again, the metaphor isn’t perfect, but time doesn’t exist once you’re dead. Everything is happening all at once, like the Tralfamadorians in that one Vonnegut book.”

“The Sirens of Titan, right.”

“So the thing is, I’m talking to you right here but you’re also hanging with me in the afterlife already. We’re all together here. And when I went into that room, I wasn’t the only one there. Your whole family was there, and not just the nine of you but all of your aunts and uncles and all these other people I didn’t know,” he said.

I couldn’t believe it. “They were all there?”

“Packed in, shoulder to shoulder. All her boyfriends had to wait out in the living room. Then there was her swimming friends, her Sauder girls, her B.C. Ferries crowd. There was so many people they couldn’t even fit in the basement suite, so a bunch of them were out smoking in the driveway. And you know who else was there? Celista.”

I wanted to believe him so bad. “Would you believe that, if you were me?”

Spence shrugged. “Probably not. All I know is what I saw. And everyone wanted to be there, to let Kathryn know she wasn’t alone. That includes you. The future you was there, like a Force Ghost from Star Wars. And you were so proud of her for how hard she fought. She was a Jedi.”

“I’ve never heard you get this maudlin before. I mean, you didn’t even believe in God. This shit sounds pretty bonkers.”

He laughed. At first it was just a surprised blurt, but then it escalated into body-shaking belly laughter. He wiped his eyes.

“What’s the joke?” I asked. “I don’t get it.”

Spence’s eyes gleamed with mischief. 

“We are God.”

The Kootenay Goon

[punkinroses]

Yugioh Season 4 Quotes Prompt Meme

I am stressed, tired, sick of my job and needing a brain break. Yugioh Abridged is my go to for that at the moment. So. Have a sentence meme thing. Feel free to reblog, change pronouns, etc. Go have fun kids. Be wild. Be gay. Do crime. Love you

“The whole saving the world thing really eats into your study time.” “But my teacher gave me, like, a bunch of gold stars! And an A+ in trying.” “I already know everything I need to know about mathematics from playing card games.” “I was also thinking about doing some of the drugs later.” “(name)’s hand is on fire!” “That sounds like a commotion! .......Yes. Definitely a commotion.” “Well, I’m sure the city can defend itself.” “Those neutral motherfuckers. I never cared for them.” “How the hell did you people get in my house!?” “I’m not sure I like the rich douchebag channel.” “We figured you had more of an emotional connection to these.” “Damnit, (name), we agreed I would do the monologuing.” “My spirit guide has once again served its purpose.” “It’ll be called the bitch ass retirement plan. Named after you, ya bitch ass!” “That’s some OP bullshit right there.” “Broseph...Brosephine...Bro DiMaggio.” “I’ve got shoulder pads!” “Now what are you gonna do, Bromeo and Juliet?” “It’s not often I get to hear the worst insult ever coined by a human being.” “Yeah, they once sucked out Channing Tatum’s soul as a joke.” “I have nothing else in my life, please!” “So you’re someone I haven’t seen in a really, really long time? .........Are you my parents??!!” “Stop abusing the concept of friendship!!” “You must have spent YEARS researching this! Even though you can find this exact information on the back of any Yu-Gi-Oh! DVD!” “King of doors, bitch!” “That’s two points for Middle Earth, zero points for (name).” “I was not prepared to watch this today.” “Okay, so, you’re a lost cause.” “If even one of you makes a Sharknado reference, I will end you so hard.” “Try this on for size, you Sauron-looking motherfucker!” “I thought we had an agreement! You agreed to not be a little bitch, but now you’re being a little bitch!” “Maybe they’ll take someone’s soul that we don’t care about this time.” “Goddamnit, you never help me, ever!!” “Alright, douchebags! I’m sick and tired of us not being on top!” “These meetings get fucking weird.” “How much more specific can I get? SOMEWHERE in CALIFORNIA.” “I wonder if there are card games on the moon.” “I knew it. This is just some cheap trick to get me to come see you, so you can hit on me with a bunch of cheap innuendos, isn’t it?” “And, to think, people call you a diluted egomaniac.” “That’s not possible! I’M the adorable one!” “For some reason, cruising for chicks has caused me to become severely injured.” “I would be so turned on if that wasn’t such a huge waste of trading cards.” “I’d like to spread some vegemite on those things.” “You left me on a blimp with a known psychopath, while I was in a coma, so you could go off and play video games.” “So, in other words, since we’ve never seen your balls drop, we can assume it hasn’t happened?” “My douche-senses are telling me that (name) is mocking me somewhere.” “Should I remind you to tell them to go fuck themselves when we get there?” “He will eat you with his crocodile face.” “Okay, did you have to include the part of the story where they insulted me?” “Hey, a sword! I can stab people with this!” “Seriously? That was your one Koala joke?” “Try believing in the heart of the cards.” “Quiet, you sorcerer.” “If you’re seeing this, (name), it either means I’m dead, leaving behind a very fabulous looking corpse, or my soul has been captured.” “Maybe it had something very kinky on it and 4Kids had to censor it.” “I’ll leave that up to the fanfic authors.” “I’ll write a highly unfavorable research paper about you! With inconclusive findings!” “I feel like I should be concerned, but I just can’t stop thinking about how Copernicus is such a stupid name for a horse.” “You know that thing takes people’s souls and I found it on a dead guy, right?” “That was acting, children! Bravo for me!” “According to my research, I’m in a crapload of pain.” “Learned that trick from playing Super Mario World.” “I’ll just be over here wibbling to myself. Please, pay me no mind.” “Okay, everyone. I’m going to go scream into a pillow for the next five minutes.” “Are you telling me that we can't build an elevator into space?! Because that sounds like something a guy who doesn't want to keep his job would say!” “And let me tell you one last thing. All those times I got angry and declared that I would have my vengeance on you: I WAS FAKING!” “I'm glad we spent all our money on this bag of potato chips and generic brand soda.” “By the way, I memorized several dozen dinosaur puns, just so I could use them in this.” “The only reunion that’s about to happen is my size ten up your buttocks!” “Dorō! Monsutā Kādo!” “You're right, (name). I lost control. At the end of the day, this is just a game.” “We’re going to disturb the spirits of the dead! Yay!” “What the fuck even is this season!?” “Won’t somebody fetch me some ice cream!?” “I’m old and I hold a stick. That automatically makes me the wisest person in the valley.” “It’s a good thing I played all that Assassin’s Creed!” “It’s a good thing I played all that Banjo Kazooie!” “Oh, thank God, because I really wasn’t listening to any of that. Any of it.” “Now, I have to go back down there and challenge that vulture to a card game.” “Okay, (name), I’m going to level with you; I may have lied about the pizza.” “It makes me look really bonkers cool while I kick the shit out of you.” “Actually, he says his name is Cornelius Jr. and he wants to play basketball, just like how his father wanted him to.” “You can talk to snakes!?” “Hey, are you sure it’s safe for us to fly straight into that strange weather phenomenon?” “I guess we’d better confront whatever villain of the week that is.” “Well, these buttons look important.” “We mostly get by using our street smarts and ingenuity.” “No, I'm mad because I never wanted to know what one of Hideo Kojima's wet dreams looked like, and now I do, so thanks for that.” “I swear on my life we didn't keep a single flying war machine of death.” “Well, it would be way more intimidating if its face wasn't so damn adorable.” “Yeah, they’re dead. Dibs on their crappy broken stuff!” “Did you guys notice that this episode had the exact same ending as Bee Movie?” “I'm also glad we're not going to Florida as it means that we are not going to Florida.” “OK, but wait! I'm almost to the part where we met two ghosts in the California desert who just happened to be related to the guy we're fighting. Oh God, you're right; it's all just bullshit, isn't it?” “Breaking stuff will fix it!” “I'm bi a lot of things, but lingual is not one of them.” “Welcome back, asshole.” “Hey (name), wanna reenact a scene from Back to the Future Part II?” “I'd rather throw myself off the roof.” “Damn you, Microsoft Flight Simulator!” “Yes, but you had to steal my catchphrase to do it! Is nothing sacred to you?” “That is the single most offensive thing anyone has ever said to me.” “OK, children, from now on, everybody uses the Buddy System. When I say "Go," I want you all to choose a buddy and form an everlasting and inseparable bond between them 'till death do you part. OK, go!” “(Name), remember, whatever happens, you mustn't become an evil little sh*thead.” “Suckers! Consider yourselves ditched.“ “Well if any other anime in existence has taught me anything, most of the drama tends to happen on...the roof.“ “Just my luck. Dork Fest continues.“ “No! It's got a scythe. The deadliest farming implement known to man.“ “This heavy-hearted metaphor was brought to you by Da, a subsidiary of Doy, Inc.” “OK, this is also total BS. When I came back from the dead, I didn't get a chorus of heavenly music and a light show.“ “It's a good thing I'm so buff or that fall would've killed me.“ “(Name), promise me you're not going to embarrass me in front of the U.S. Military.” “ Guys, I think we took a wrong turn, because I'm pretty sure this is the Chamber of Secrets.” “Those aren't Funko Pops! They're much more disturbing!” “Yeah, makes your measly five thousand years look like a five thousand years of being a bitch, bitch.“ “Okay, but why are we in space?” “I have no idea who that is. You are talkin' fucking crazy right now, man. Are you okay? Do you need water? How long were you in the desert for?“ “For the record, I was dressing up in suits of armor before it was cool.“ “(Name), this is like, the third time you've tried to murder one of my friends, stop it!” “Nah. As a teenager with unlimited access to the Internet, I get to do that every day.” “As I was saying, (name) is a damn handsome and valuable person. Thank goodness for them.” “They died as they lived... pissing me off.” “Okay, who let the posh shithead in here?” “I'm so happy you escaped the cold embrace of death so that I could experience your deathly cold embrace again!“ “Wow. My eBay sensors are tingling.“ “You know, we really have no idea where this portal will take us, but I have total confidence in this decision.“ “None of this matters to you! You're already dead! Blah, blah, blah, omae wa mou shindeiru.” “Glad we came all the way up here so that we could not know what was going on.“ “Does this mean I can take back all the nice things I said?“ “I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just enjoying being with you.”

[mulderitsme]

the DeadAlive recap. i don’t know how i’m still functioning. 

aaaaaaaaaaaand we’re diving right in. is it wrong to think scully is looking as beautiful as ever while wrapped in grief? because she does. i love the shot of her kneeling by the grave and skinner watching over her. because once again, he is standing next to her, comforting her, sharing her pain. as bonkers as this arc has been i really appreciate the evolution of this relationship. get you a friend like walter skinner. 

kersh is still an asshole but doggett continues to be a good lil’ nugget. dedicated to finding the truth even if he’s not quite ready to accept it yet. still hellbent on protecting and helping scully, because he promised her he would, no matter what. i love doggett the nugget. a good nugget.

scully with a big belly!! finally! i was beginning to think we’d never see her showing. let me see all the waddling, it’s adorable! how many months has it been? never mind that, i don’t want to know.

okay you can’t throw lines like this in my face and leave it at that. what happened?? is she okay?? take good care of the alien baby baby mama!!

again with the flawless skinner x scully scenes!! oh how i love this scene, her desperation, her anger when she’s denied what she didn’t even dared to dream, her “i want to see him” shifting into “i need to see him” - because she does, she does need to see for herself, whether it’s a false hope or a true miracle. once again, she refuses to be coddled, to be spared a truth that might hurt her, break her. she wants to know. she needs to know. and skinner knows it. yet still he wants to protect her; while ultimately letting her decide.

*killing me softly playing in the distance* her hand on her belly ahjsqkfdlq

first skinner, now doggett. they get it. they know her. they know, she knows it’s going to break her. they only want to spare her the pain. but they truly, deeply respect her, so they’ll respect her decision. if she needs to see him, they will let her. she’s so, so brave - they love and admire her for it - but sometimes, they wish she’d be less brave and take the easy road. but scully wouldn’t be scully if she did.

ugh i love, LOVE that she puts her hand on his chest to make sure he’s alive! the joy on her face, the way her smile is blooming with each breath. and when that’s not enough, she puts her ENTIRE FACE on his stomach to physically feel him breathing in and out. that’s her mulder, first missing, then dead, now inexplicably returned to her once more, but this time, he’s alive. this time, she won’t let him slip away. oh gillian and your sweet, sweet faces of pain. how you break me so. 

again with the hand on her belly. listen, i know it’s cliché, i know it’s cheesy, but i love it. give it to me. 

i just like this shot a lot.  

you know, i gave up trying to understand this guy’s motivation. what the fuck, krycek. 

i’m just gonna skip whatever happens with the vaccine and skinner being tortured by a remote and doggett’s idiot macho bs and move on to... 

I’M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONS MULDER YOU IDIOT!! her sweet little face!! laughing and crying at the same time because she’s SO relieved!! it’s the same stupid mulder she fell in love with, making dumb jokes at inappropriate times. it’s really him. he’s all here. no alien parasite, virus or what have you could ever take over this sweet soul. 

hello, this is the best line in the history of the show, fight me. i screamed. it’s so, so beautiful. “only what i see in your face” fuck me sideways i can’t deal with the beauty of this line

my favorite scully smile so far. the love in her eyes, you guys. so much love for her mulder. 

as happy as i am to see these two reunited, i feel bad for doggett here. it’s such a bittersweet ending for him. what did he gain in all of this? nothing. he told her he’d bring her partner back, and he did. he threw away his career by doing so. immediately afterwards, he is rendered superfluous. the original x files team is back, and he doesn’t know where he fit in anymore. what was he going to say to scully, i wonder? and as the good nuggett that he is, he leaves them alone. doesn’t say a thing. not the right time. he leaves. she’s waited so long for this moment, he won’t spoil it.. a good guy, this doggett. 

they’re so peaceful here. let them rest. let them be happy. let them have time to enjoy life and each other. i beg of you. 

[thiswasinevitableid]

63. sometimes I steal flowers from your garden on my way to the cemetery, but today you’ve caught me and have demanded to come with me to make sure the “[person] is [attractive] enough to warrant flower theft” and I’m trying to figure out how to break it to you that we’re on our way to a graveyard

Danbrey, sfw, please!

Here you go!

It’s the rabbit that draws her eye; it’s not everyday a bunny the size of a Beagle stops outside the window of Amnesty House. She follows the leash from the harness to the hand holding it, and spots a much bigger issue.

“Miss?” She steps onto the porch, “could you not take my flowers.”

“Yeeeeep!” The other woman drops the pocket knife she’s using to saw off the stems of tulips and irises, scrambling to her feet and tearing her fishnets in the process, “shit, um, I’m sorry, didn’t think you’d notice, I’ve done it before and you never, um, nevermind.” She pulls the rabbit back from the fence, “anyway, I really needed this, they’re really pretty and I think she’d like them-”

“Ohhhhh, I get it” Dani crosses her arms, “in that case, I’ll come with you. I want to see the person who’s cute enough to warrant multiple flower thefts.”

“Um, or! You could not do that and I could promise to never do this again?”

“Nope, my mind’s made up.” She slips on her Birkenstocks and heads down the front stairs. Jake and Moira are both home, so she’s not too worried about locking up.

“Fine. Let me just-” The woman scoops the rabbit up and sprints away. Dani could just let her go, but those were her heirloom irises, damn it, and she wants to make sure the person who gets them knows just how valuable they are. So off she goes, soles slapping the pavement as they head towards the lakeside.

She won’t be surprised if the recipient is hot; god knows the thief is. The freckles and red-streaked hair is just the icing on the combat-boot, denim-vested femme cake.

Growing up in this neighborhood means she never loses sight of her target, even when she’s cutting through alleys and taking sharp turns. Then the woman goes straight through a wall of junipers and Dani is not interested in getting that scratched up by plants today. This is one of the borders of the park, so all she needs to do is find the front entrance to relocate her very distinct thief.

Ten minutes of hunting later, she spots a red and black pompadour on the other side of a low, stone wall. She’s cross-legged on the grass, which the rabbit is happily munching by her side.

“Okay, seriously, does the person you’re seeing know those...are...aw fuck.”

The other woman turns from the gravestone she’s sitting by to look at her, “Yeah. This is kinda why I didn’t want you to come with me. I mean, it was a hella weird thing to do anyway, but” she sweeps her arm at the cemetery, “this is super not a date.”

“I’m so sorry.” Dani sits on the opposite side of the rabbit, “That never even occurred to me. I…” she sneaks a glance at the dates; the death was only three years ago, “I’m sorry for your loss, too.”

Silence settles between them; she feels like she should say something else, that it’d be rude to just shrug and walk away, but she has no clue what words are even appropriate here. The rabbit stretches its neck, bonking it’s nose into her hand. She pets it, smiling when it nestles closer.

“Mom really liked bulbs.” The thief says softly, “when I was little we’d always go for walks in the spring just so we could see the first ones popping out of the ground. She liked ones that were unique, so when I saw the orange and black ones in your garden all I could think was how happy they’d make her. How she woulda stopped to look at them whenever she walked past. I know it’s silly but I, um, this felt like the closest I could get to giving her that.”

The breeze carries dried iris petals from the headstone into the park beyond the wall.

“You could have just asked. There’s no way I would have said no if you told me what they were for.”

“It felt too weird. Everything feels weird these days.” She sighs, reaching out to rub dust from the stone, “I thought I was ready to come back, but it’s like the whole town is haunted.”

The fresh flowers wobble, then land on the grass. Dani grabs them and puts them back, the rabbit honking indignantly when she does.

“At least Dr. Harris Bonkers is having a nice time.” The other woman rubs the rabbit’s ears, “isn’t that right, buddy?”

“What’s he a doctor of?”

A small, beautiful smile, “Psychology. He worked hard for his PhD.”

“I bet.” She gives the doctor a final rub on the nose, “I’ll, uh, I should give you two some time alone.” Dani stands, brown eyes watching her the whole time.

“Thanks for the flowers.”

She smiles, “You’re welcome.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

Moira’s expecting a package, so Dani doesn’t even look up when the older woman answers the front door.

“Um, hi. I, um, I was hoping to get some flowers? The blonde who lives here said I should ask this time. I’m Aubrey? Wait, I don’t think I told her that.”

“Which blonde?”

“The cute one?”

“....I meant the boy or the girl.” Moira replies, amused, just as Dani reaches the door.

Aubrey waves, “Hi again. Could I take a few Irises?”

“Sure. Oh, wait, let me get you the pruning shears; the knife isn’t great for cuttings.”

“Dani! Could I get a hand really quick?” From the accompanying clanks, Barclay needs said hand urgently.

“Coming! Here, you can just leave them on the steps when you’re done.”

One hour and a narrowly avoided soup disaster later, she’s herding the others to the table when there’s another knock on the door.

“I, um, I stuck these in my bag without thinking.” Aubrey holds out the shears. In the porchlight, her eyes are red-rimmed and there’s a slight smear in the black lipstick on her upper lip.

“It happens. Jake, my roommate, once went a whole day with six boxes of poptarts in his bag because he got distracted while unloading groceries. Uh, if you’re not busy we’re just about to have dinner. Seems only polite to invite my biggest admirer.”

Aubrey raises her eyebrows.

“My, uh, the biggest admirer of my gardening?” Her cheeks are hot, but her flustered tone seems to relax Aubrey.

“Sure. I just have to make sure I get home in time to feed Dr. Harris Bonkers.” She grins and steps into the house.

It’s common for Amnesty residents to bring home friends (or strangers), so when Barclay spots Aubrey he simply ducks back into the kitchen for an extra set of cutlery and a bonus bowl. As always happens when Barclay cooks, everyone is too busy stuffing their faces for the first ten minutes of dinner to say much.

“So, Aubrey” Mama sips her tea, “what brings you to town?”

“I grew up here but, um, I left a few years ago to try and kickstart my career.”

“What do you do?”

Literal sparks fly from her guest’s fingertips as she wiggles them, “magic.”

“Whoah, sweet!” Jake leans forward, “do you do stunts?”

“Nah” Aubrey’s smile is brightening under the excitement, “I do sleight of hand, card tricks, that kind of thing. I like the classics. Lots of other people do too, but I hit a spell where no one was interested in booking me, so I came back here to regroup.”

“Smart thinkin’. Pretty much everyone here knows that tryin to make ends meet on the road can lead to serious trouble.”

“Or grand theft auto.” Dani smirks at Barclay.

“That was an accident!”

“Wait, what?” Aubrey laughs, the room feeling ten times brighter when she does, “how does that even happen?”

Barclay recounts the story, blushing all the while, then points out that at least he never got stuck halfway up an off-limits slope because he was daydreaming, and to which Jake responds that that’s not even in his top ten wipeouts, dude.

Aubrey hangs around, helping Dani with the dishes while they chat about childhood pets (Dani had a frog that required her to drop food on his head in order for him to notice it). When she finally re-laces her boots, her new friend is smiling constantly and Dani never wants to look at anything else.

“Hey, uh, tonight was really fun. Do you want to come by on Friday? I’m, uh, I’m cooking, so it won’t be as good as what Barclay made, but I’d love for you to try my breakfast salad. Oh, and my muffin. Muffins.”

“I’d love to. And don’t sell yourself short, flowergirl” Aubrey winks, shooting finger guns her way, “I bet your dinner is gonna rule.”

----------------------------------------------------

“What do you think? Too much?” Aubrey turns from the mirror. Dr. Harris Bonkers wiggles his nose.

“You’re right, the heels are too much. Gotta leave some plausible deniability. And be able to run away if this goes bad.” She tosses the black heels back into the closet and squeezes into the tiny bathroom to start on her make-up. It has to be perfect, or as perfect as she can get it in the mirror that’s inexplicably high up on the wall.

Yeesh, is getting ready to impress a cute girl really the thing making her consider moving back in with dad? It would be easier to find the right clothes if she had a space to hang them up in, instead of stacked boxes to dig through. But walking the streets where mom used to hold her hand, eating at the places they’d go for breakfast, all those vortexes of memories are hard enough to free herself from on their own. Sitting in the chair she used to, expecting to see her at the table or in the yard, those things would be too much.

It’s been easier since she found Amnesty. Since she found Dani. It’s hard to be stuck in the shadows of the past when there’s a beautiful ray of sunshine sitting next to you. She has dinner there most days now, practices her new routine while Dani updates the inventory for her online plant store.

Relatedly, Aubrey now has several rabbit-safe houseplants that Dani always offers to come check on. Aubrey’s actually pretty good with plants, but she’s not about to miss out on an evening sandwiched next to Dani on her futon and the ghost of jasmine perfume winding around her when she sleeps.

Amnesty is lit only by the string lights on the porch and the glow from the kitchen when Aubrey bounds up the stairs.

“Dani?”

“Oh, hey, you’re early.” Dani leans in the doorway of the kitchen and Aubrey’s brain sounds like a cartoon, nothing but “boiiings” and “wowzas” for a good ten seconds.

Dani’s hair is out of it’s usual messy bun, and instead of her overalls or patched jeans, she’s in a short, heather green tank-top dress. Getting on her knees to kiss the vine tattoos weaving up her legs would be too forward, but boy does she want to.

“Took an earlier bus just to be safe. Man, it’s so weird to be here when it’s this quiet.”

“No kidding; I can’t remember the last time I was the only one here.” Dani shoos her through the kitchen and out into the back garden. The little white table usually piled with tools is cleared of everything but a green tablecloth and two wine glasses. That’s another point in the “yes, this is a date” category. The first was that Dani was careful to emphasize that everyone would be gone for the night for camping, work, or ill-advised urban skate stunts.

“Sit your cute butt down, I’ll be right back with dinner.”

That’s the first butt-based compliment she’s gotten, so score one for this red skirt. When Dani comes back, Aubrey can’t help but bounce in her seat; her crush is carrying a board covered in fruit and bread, and she absolutely sees a fondue pot on the counter inside.

“Since Cheesy Heat closed, I thought I could recreate it for us. Kinda. Barclay said he thinks they used a super fancy cheese that’s hard to get here.”

“That’s probably why they went out of business. Dang, why so many fondue pots?”

“Barclay keeps getting them for Christmas.” She sets the chocolate one down next to the cheese, and when she tugs on her dress before sitting down Aubrey’s mouth waters from more than just the meal.

The stars come out as they take turns making a mess of the table cloth, but the longer she sits here, happier than she’s been in years, the more Aubrey knows she can’t put the question off.

“Why the fancy dinner tonight?”

Dani dabs her mouth with her napkin, “I, uh, I, Cheesy Heat was my go-to, uh” her voice drops to a whisper, “date place.”

“Ohthankgod.” Aubrey flops back in her chair, “this is a date.”

“Did you think it wasn’t?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t wanna, like, assume.”

“Fireblossom” Dani stands, making a little half circle to reach her, “the first time we met you were stealing from me assuming I wouldn’t notice.”

“To be fair, getting caught in petty theft is less terrifying than making an ass out of yourself in front of a hot girl.” She grins as Dani straddles her lap.

“...okay you’re right, I’d hate to embarrass myself in front of you. Again.”

“A girl who can run me down in sandals is pretty hot.”

“Pfft” Dani giggles, hides her face in Aubrey’s shoulder, “not as hot as a girl who can sprint while carrying a twelve pound rabbit.”

“Seventeen.” Aubrey kisses her cheek, whispers teasingly, “you shoulda told me this was a date, I could’ve brought flowers.”

“You can bring me some next time.” Dani sits up, smiling at her.

“Sweet, I know somewhere I can get them for free.” She bounces her eyebrows, making the vision of perfection in her lap laugh.

“Nope, this time it’ll cost you.”

“How much?”

Dani cups her cheeks and dives down for a kiss, Aubrey clinging to her dress and sighing as she slips her tongue between her lips.

“Few of those” Dani murmurs, brushing their noses together.

“I’m happy to pay them.”

[callieshipman]

the 100 tag game!

i was (sort of) tagged by @easilydistractedbyfanfic! thanks <3

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

I like to think Farm, I love plants! But also maybe Polaris, because getting caught up in someone else’s drama and then dying offscreen is probably about how my TV life would go. 

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

...making an inappropriate joke about treason? this is based off the fact that I once made a joke about overthrowing the government whilst touring Parliament and did NOT notice the policeman behind me.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

 my mum thinks I’m dead if she sees I don’t reply to her texts within five minutes so i’m gonna say no because i hate worrying people lmao

4 What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

i have so much dragonfly stuff, so probably that! i don’t even know where that came from, but it seems fitting.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

100% maya vie, the revolution queen always and forever! though she is not minor in my Heart

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Monty, Raven, Abby, Indra! Between them they cover our bases of leadership, plants, machines, medicine, and general badassery

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

Shallow Valley looked like exactly the kind of place I’d like :)

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

This is hard for Tabby! I guess Tabi?

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

i’m not gonna sing his praises, but i think he’s more complex than some people give him credit for.  he did terrible things, but i’m never gonna get behind the grounder agenda of spending hours torturing a child to death. i recognise that this is entirely bonkers to say in the universe of the 100, but that dude should have had a fair trial

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

i wouldn’t do it! also i have trouble with pills, there’s no way i’m dry swallowing that massive hunk of plastic

11. What character do you relate to most?

monty!! i have also watched people i love deeply fall apart, and his struggles in season 4 really resonate with me. but on a lighter note, i also relate to his sense of humour and his deep seated need to snark at people. and eating leaves.

12. What character do you like the least?

i’m gonna go with Cage Wallace, because fuck that guy. he’s just smarmy, it annoys me lmao

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

i would probably have a pretty normal shirt and a thick jumper. i like yellow, but that probably wouldn’t fare so well with hiding in the woods and such so i’m gonna go with a dark green. that + trousers + my trusty walking boots.

14. Favourite type of mutant animal?

the glowing butterflies are pretty great!

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

probably counselling or something? i can’t imagine i’d be very high up, but probably with people a lot, i’m no good with machines

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

yeah but my face would be like D: the whole time

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

Indra’s my go-to! she has experience, she’s level-headed, she’s respected, and clearly a strong fighter. i would follow her into war is what i’m saying here

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

i’d probably get loud and just start talking over people and offering opinions that no one asked for then fall asleep

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

i’d never have turned her away from the camp, but she definitely wouldn’t get away with it scot-free and i’d probably keep her away from the others to keep her and everyone else safe

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

jake griffin :’) he has a strong code of ethics, he’s smart, and he’s kind

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Kane’s, but probably somewhat removed from the drama

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

i feel like i should say their advanced medical supplies, but i’d probably just take the iPod tbh! love me some music and i know maya had good taste

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

i looooove those winding tattoos that go all around arms and legs like vines, so maybe something like that? and my hair is pretty short so i’d probably wear it as it is, but maybe add tiny braids. as for war paint, i can’t be bothered to do regular makeup so i don’t know if i’d even do it. minimal if anything.

24. Favorite quote?

“My mom was the revolutionary. I’m just trying to make things right.” It’s Maya lovin’ hours! i don’t know why, i just really like this one. i’m not sure it’s my favourite, but i can’t think of anything else right now

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

Octavia, but only if someone else killed Bellamy, she’d never do it

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least: uhh i don’t really dislike any ships that much but i guess i never really got the cl.exa hype

Favorite canon: up until s5, i really loved kabby! afterwards, i have no idea tbh a lot of the ships didn’t quite do it for me in s5 but i enjoy becho

Favorite non-canon: i’m hoping for the rise of niytavia this season ;)

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

john mulaney. next question please.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

well hopefully we become friendly but i would probably also go a bit nuts

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

i choke on berries in the background of a massive fight scene

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

Indra :0

31. A character you’d bang?

raven but preferably not just bc she’s sad again. also i would like to not perish immediately afterwards.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

spacekru! i would not survive either of the other environments at all

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

i like to think i’d be the leader of some cool underground revolution, but publicly i’d follow her because she’s terrifying. i think i’d read and write and sleep a lot

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

underground revolution as mentioned above! alternatively, i am the blanket thief

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

the100!tabby is gonna follow monty everywhere, let’s be real. i like to think we’d get on. as for most difficult...i’m not good at reaching out to people, so it would probably be a while before i ended up close with echo purely by virtue of neither of us ever starting a conversation

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

oh god, not long at all. i have zero survival skills, i’d starve. madi would have to parent ME

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

probably reveal myself and make it very clear i am in no way a threat- i’m not clarke griffin, i’m 5′4, unarmed, and i look like i’m made of noodles

38. Favourite Eligius character? Least favorite?

favourite: diyoza no competition (except sassy rewind guy)

least favourite - mccreary but in a fun way

39. Would you Spacewalk?

absolutely not you couldn’t pay me to do that

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

algae...for monty :)

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

i would try the negotiations! i’m sure they could have gotten somewhere in peace talks

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

thumb drives in bullet holes- the worms are much worse

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

yeah i’d do it, but i’d hate it. i’d try to avoid killing her, but if she needs to be incapacitated, then i’d do it for the safety of everyone else

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

probably sleep, i’m not sure i could handle that life in isolation

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

more or less the same lot. i’d actually wake Gaia too, she’s the Flamekeeper and might know some helpful hints about flame culture and stuff. she certainly knows the history. 

i’m tagging: @commanderclarke @paintingbellarke @sarka-stically and anyone else who wants to do it!

[whereyoursoulresides]

DiC Dub vs Sub Ep 17/21 “An Animated Mess”/”Protect Children’s Dreams! Friendship Linked by Anime”

Aaand I’m back! Heads up, this is a super long post because there’s also a Zoisite-Syntax essay in here too!

So to recap (because I’m not necessarily doing these in order, some are just more meatier and funner to get to than others): In the last episode, the Zoy/Zois have tried to get Nef/Neph in some serious trouble, and it backfired. +1 for Nef/ph.

So in this episode, it seems like their rivalry has stepped back in intensity a bit. Zoy/Zoi appear to be more chilled and less heckly, and Nef/ph seems to be either riding on the confidence of showing Zoy/i up in the face from the last episode, or otherwise doesn’t care. It sets up a really nice scene, actually, because it’s refreshing to see these two villains in a civil-ish behind-the-scenes interaction once in a while.

Zoy/i enter. I know there’s no audio, but I love Zoisite’s “Ara!” when he says “My!” Like, I can’t get over how like, very high-society-gossip his voice is. “My!”

Interesting how once again, they changed the script so Neflyte appears more sympathetic. By saying “Yes actually,” it makes Zoycite appear more like the heckler. In the original Sub, Nephrite responds with “kisamaka” - a disdainful, dismissive “hmph, you again?” sort of meaning. Like, I can’t iterate how much I get the impression Nephrite finds Zoisite more annoying than Neflyte finds Zoycite, even though Zoisite is honestly not even as intrusive as Zoycite is.

Okay, what’s interesting in the Sub here, there actually is no sarcasm or sniping back-and-forth (unlike the Dub).  This legitimately seems like a civil conversation. Like there’s no background music, no evil theme song. It can almost be seen as two colleagues checking in on each other. Almost. My take is that Zoisite’s temporarily laying down arms a bit to recalibrate how he’s going to approach the rest of their dynamic in the future. And Nephrite’s letting him because he’s still riding on the confidence from one-upping Zoisite from the last episode...and also because he really doesn’t think Zoisite’s much of a threat.

Ahh, infamous dub words. 

That aside, I feel like the subtitles don’t really capture the softness and coyness in which Zoisite’s saying these words. Like, when we read them in English, they seem really straightforward and almost...ballsy? Whereas the impression I got when I was listening was more like “Oh? Well, don’t you seem extremely confident.”

Which would make more sense when you consider his next line:

Ok, this is one screenshot in which I definitely would have translated differently. 

As usual, Zoycite comes off as more domineering and over-lordy. She’s practically trying to assert herself as Neflyte’s supervisor on behalf of Queen Beryl. When you read Zoisite’s subtitles, you might assume the same thing, because his statement seems super pretentious in English. “I shall see how well you do”? Who the fuck is he to assume such power? If we were take the English subtitle as is, we’d probably assume he is acting on behalf of some other power (Beryl or Kunzite, your pick).

Except, I don’t agree with how this line was translated. It’s very likely I’m misunderstanding some social context with this line (since I’m translating nearly word-by-word) or how it’s used, but, the way I interpret it is very different.

So in this scene, what Zoisite actually says is:

お手並み拝見させていただくわ

otenami haiken sasete itadakuwa.

So otenami haiken means “Let’s see what you got” or “Let’s see your skill in this match” kind of thing. You’d say it to your opponent in a game, or in a drinking match. It’s kind of sarcastic, like how you would expect in English. By using this term, Zoisite is actually referring a match - a literal match, their rivalry. He isn’t checking in on behalf of Beryl, or supervising Nephrite. He is literally saying We’re both playing this game and now it’s your turn:  why don’t we let’s see what you’ve got.

The second thing I’m picking up on (that the subtitles can’t) is how Zoisite conjugates the rest of his sentence. Most importantly, his use of the words sasete itadaku, which is an example of keigo speech: super polite speech that you would use for business, colleagues, clients or anyone on higher on the hierarchal ladder than you. It’s also like, super ...humble? Like it basically would read like this:

(Please allow me to) see what you’ve got. 

Except Zoisite’s not...actually meaning it? He’s not really asking for Nephrite’s permission. The type of language he’s using is more like he’s ostensibly asking permission Nephrite to let him watch. It’s like, Zoisite being super polite and passive-aggressive all at once.

The irony, is, though, that Zoisite isn’t entirely outright being sarcastic. At least, I don’t think he is. Why? I mean, he’s in private, he’s not in front of Beryl, and we all know he doesn’t like Nephrite - so really,  he doesn’t have to be polite to Nephrite. And of all the Shitennou, does anyone think Nephrite would give a fuck about the proper way one should be speaking to someone on the hierarchal ladder? Fuck no! This is the guy who can hardly keep it together professionally even with Beryl seething at him from the opposite side of the crystal ball. So why does Zoisite do this?

I think, the poor boy can’t help it. 

I think Zoistie’s mannerisms - his feminine speech, his polite airs, his professionalism and his by-the-book manners - I think all of this is just him. It’s intrinsic in him, and his best strength: It’s his only way of playing the game: appearing to keep by the rules, keeping his nose clean, looking like a team player and just overall an impeccable fellow, while hiding his true capabilities and ruthlessness inside. This is how he’s even described in official merchandise books: “deceptively gentle, like a fanged beast ready to strike.”

And yet, ironically, this is probably what drives Nephrite bonkers. Since Nephrite is the kind of guy who speaks exactly what he thinks and puts no air or fake graces, Zoisite’s behaviour is exactly the kind he would detest. He can see how fake Zoisite is behind his “civilized” manners (see how Zoisite, in later episodes, likes to differentiate himself from other “barbarian” youmas), and probably finds him weak and spineless by doing so (not to mention pairing with Kunzite). Essentially, this is where I often get my Neph/Zoi Older-Brother-Younger-Brother headcanon from: Zoisite is that pesky younger brother trying to compete with the rest of them, and Nephrite is up to here with babysitting. He’d probably have more respect for Zoisite if he just grew up. But, Nephrite’s ego also thinks Zoisite is nothing more than that: just a silly little brother, trying to pretend he’s big enough to play with the big boys...and thus, he lets him in to watch how it’s done, without really considering the consequences.

OMG that was super long. Let’s continue on with the rest of the episode. I swear I’ll be fast.

(Please excuse my error in screencapping) But look! Zoisite is practically “learning”. 

Note how Zoycite is still approaching this as if she expects Neflyte to fail, and is waiting for it. She might as well be eating popcorn. Zoisite, on the other hand, remains coyishly neutral. I think he’s using this time to really get a sense of what Nephrite is made of.

I think I’m beginning to understand what Naoko meant when she said that Nephrite had the biggest “elder brother” type of ego. He seems very sure of himself like all the damn time, even when his track record isn’t the best.

And when it blows up in his face...

Zoycite, classy as always. (<--That’s me being sarcastic)

Zoisite, definitely classier, but HOHO. Like, the subtitles are totally correct, but I feel like in English, a combination of his polite+sarcasm would sound more like “Thanks for the show :)”.

So tldr, while Zoycite is nailing human sarcasm, can we talk about the aristocratic-level of sarcasm we’re getting from Zoisite here? God I want to see this boy sass over a cup of tea.

[sarahcoomes]

My life in Blog: 1

LIfe from the westside ( West side of LA not London…)

8 am, it’s October 23rd.  I wake up with fireworks - sadly, not going on in my knickers… but in my garden outside. I didn’t know they were fireworks at first.  I thought maybe it was something exploding… it was so flipping loud!

The dogs are going bonkers… all four of them Bobo, Mrs Moo, and my two fosters: Chloe and Sadie. No point in trying to peel them off the ceiling while the noise is still ricocheting around my house..  So, I leap out of bed and run outside.

Please note that I would NEVER win a spelling Bee.  I had to look up how to spell Ricochet and the wonders of the internet!  Not only did it spell it for me, but it also gave me a man!

Everyone:  meet Ricochet:  

Apparently he’s a professional wrestler. Anyhow - I digress.  

I fly through the garden to the back gate and look up and see smoke rising from the alley.  Christ, that’s all we need  - another fucking fire in LA.

“WHAT’S HAPPENED ?? DID THE…  I grapple for a word, it’s too early in the day to be forming full sentences.  My arm flails around towards...  ‘DID THE TOTEM POLE CATCH FIRE?!’

“What?”  Replies the woman, standing in front of me.  

I wildly gesture to the electricity pole that’s shrouded in grey smoke.  “Sorry, not the Totem Pole - the electricity pole.  That thing.   This … that! It’s smoking!”

Then my eyes glide down and rest on the kid collecting firework cans off the floor.  

“Cleaning out the garden shed,’ His mum says with a little laugh”

WHAT??? What is a teenager even doing UP at 8.30 in the morning?? Teenagers don’t do that,  they sleep in until 1pm! That’s what I did!  8.30am is completely unnatural for a kid his age... I think to myself very quickly, staring at the lad in front of me.

I launch into: “Why would you think THAT was a good idea?”  

“Why he thought that was a good idea - I do not not know”

Said, his mum, repeating what I just said.

We both stare at each other. There’s a quiet standoff. They both look uncomfortable.  I’m not leaving until I feel absolutely one hundred percent satisfied that the lad knows and deeply understands, in every cell of his body, that it was not only a bad idea but a completely and utterly shit idea to set off fireworks at any time of the day, let alone first thing in the frigging morning.

If my sister were here she would chime in  Sarah to 99 percent of the planet 8.30 am is not ‘First thing in the morning.’   She is of course referring to the fact that I don’t have kids and so am a lazy fuck - not contributing to society in the slightest and so have no right to complain about being woken up at 8.30 and she could be right.  

But for now, I’m right.    

Again, I say nothing  -but I’m thinking and staring hard at them before I launch into:

“I have dogs!  I say passionately.  YOU, you have dogs!”  (They have dogs, the smallest,  yappiest, most annoying dogs in the history of dogs)  I add. ( No-one can ever argue with the fact that small as her dogs are, even if a cat walked down the alleyway we’d all know about it. GREATEST GUARD DOGS EVER. Fucking annoying, but great, small dogs are great)

We leave it at that.  She turns to go inside, the kid, weirdly - says absolutely nothing and then I turn too.  It’s only at that point  that I realize the dressing gown that I grabbed to cover myself with -  when I ran out of the house was a see-through one.  How very seventies of me. I am basically, Naked.  Full on muff and boobs.    

Wheyhey! I bet the kid didn’t anticipate that.  Lucky boy.

I go inside.  

ALL my dogs are now scattered around my house, inside various cupboards and wardrobes… sorry, closets.      

I was lying in bed watching THE LAST DEBATE - if you can call it that.  The last presidential debate that happened last night - and I missed it because I was busy humiliating myself on a zoom call.  More of that later.  

I go back to bed is the word: Totem pole racist?  Is that like a white, western made up word?  I google it.  This is what I find:  

The word totem comes from the Algonquian word odoodem meaning “his kinship group.” This means a family or a clan. Totem poles represent Indigenous families and clans.

The original totem poles were created by only six nations of the western part of North America:

the Haida (say "hydah"),

the Nuxalt (say "nu-halk"),

the Kwakwaka'wakw (say "kwak-wak-ya-wak"),

the Tlingit (say "kling-kit"),

the Tsimshian (say "sim-she-an")

and the Coast Salish (say "say-lish") people.

I’m sort of happy I didn’t use some racist noun first thing this morning  - but it’s still an English word to describe them?  Isn’t it? It doesn’t feel right  - it feels like using the word Eskimo instead of Inuit.      

Well anyway  - back to  THE DEBATE  -if you can call it that.  

Why can’t people debate these days?  It’s just an argument guys! Just argue!      

They can’t  - it’s so weird.

I think that has something to do with being American?  America has lots of amazing things going for itself… but self awareness and embracing the truth are two things,  I genuinely not sure are here in abundance.  

For instance  - and clearly this is a wide and vastly over exaggerated generalization  - but let’s just look at the religious thing here.  They are very into the no swearing thing - dear god forgive me, if I ever fucking swore.  I once swore not exactly AT my bank manager but inside a conversation with my bank manager  - if you get my drift. We were discussing the banks role in some terrible things - oil pipelines and the such…  He thought it quite reasonable to roll out the atrocious behaviour the bank partook in and have a calm and rational conversation about it all - but when I wanted ton take it up a notch. - you know have a bit of a debate and dropped in, “ I mean, fuck me …. His face turned white and I thought he was going to faint.   

I LOVE swearing! Not all the time, and my swearing has definitely improved since I moved here.  But nothing gives me more pleasure and makes me laugh more than going out with my dad in his old Mercedes and hear him swear at teh typo of his lungs at bad drivers.  

I think my favourite Is “You fucking prick! Look where you re going… “  as my dad mounts his car onto the pavement to avoid some poor shopper in their electric cart, doing a fifty six point turn and taking up most of the highstreet.

Anyway you get the gist.   on loads of quite petty stuff  - but come to porn and well…  you get the gist - it’s an old argument  - but one that never changes…  American hate the petty stuff  - and so are petty and yet are quite happy having a load of kids in cages at the border.  Astonishing, really.  

… and here we are, the end  - we have TWO weeks until the November 4th election!  I never thought that would ever happen! I am so excited.  It has been the most stressful four years living here in the states, witnessing this horror show.  Watching his vulture like family shit all over the largest democracy in the world.

America you wild and wonderful beast, you female goliath! You gorgon! You dove … you rabbit… okay I’m not so good at metaphors okay??    

When I try and explain to my English friends or my family what it’s been like living with the giant orange idiot running the shop  - they just don’t understand at all.

Last year I thought there was going to be civil war, I went home to my family and announced it to everyone. My mate Debs believed me But I think she was about the only one. She knows.  She knows everything.  It’s good having friends like that.

And when it did happen…  

Wow.  

Enough for today see you tomorrow

Love, SArah X    

[gingervsblondie]

Blondie Brings Up Baby (1939)

8:38 PM, Thursday, 26 September 2019

Nineteen. Ni- Ni- Nineteen.

Ni- Ni- Nineteen.

Nineteen thirty-nine.

How does our favourite zany

Nuclear familial vignette

Get themselves into another casse-tête?

Dagwood’s filled with sandwiches while Flournoy’s filled with regret

And Alexander’s traumatized

You ready for more yet?

Blondie Brings Up Baby. Let’s get into it.

By the way, we’ve got a new head screenwriter, Gladys Lehman. Our old friend Dick Flournoy’s still on the Wikipedia page as “story by, (uncredited)” though.

8:40

I don’t know if I’ve only just noticed this or if this movie just gave the first indication of it, but Dagwood is really bad at his job.

8:42

8:43

UHHH. There’s a woman in the Bumsteads’ house. There hasn’t been a woman in the Bumsteads’ house before. I have no idea who she is and the movie moved swiftly on without explaining who she is.

8:46

UHHHHHHHH. They cut from a scene of Dagwood and Blondie at a police station telling a receptionist that Alexander is missing, after he didn’t show up to school, to a scene where Dagwood is in a shed, and COMPLETELY INEXPLICABLY, a bunch of police with tommy guns have him surrounded and start firing on him and throwing tear gas bombs.

I have no fucking clue what is going on in this movie.

8:51

UHHHHHHHHHHHHH. All of that was the build up to the intro. The intro is playing now.

The movie hasn’t even started yet.

WHAT.

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

They haven’t had anything before the intro on any of the other movies.

8:52

OKAY. SO.

The last few movies I’ve watched on YouTube. They’re in the public domain anyway as far as I can tell. But I couldn’t find a version of Blondie Brings Up Baby with good enough quality, so I switched to Amazon Prime.

Turns out, I’ve just discovered, all the Blondie movies on Amazon Prime have 3-5 minutes of scenes with ABSOLUTELY NO CONTEXT pinned onto the beginning before the intro. So I just watched 4 minutes and 40 seconds of Blondie Brings Up Baby SPOILERS.

And I’m furious about it.

9:05

There’s a “huh?” that Dagwood does in these whenever he does a double-take, and it’s gotta be my least favourite recurring bit. They use it like a rimshot or a catchphrase to punctuate jokes, and 100% of the time it just extends something that wasn’t funny.

9:11

See okay: He just did one, but silently. There was no “huh?”, just Dagwood looking confused. And it was a little bit funny! That’s all it took. No “huh?”.

9:16

K, this time Blondie’s the one being a bad parent. A guy showed up at the door offering a free IQ test for Alexander. Is that a thing that happened in the 30s? No idea, but it’s what’s happening in the movie so let’s just go with it. Alvin, Alexander’s friend/enemy/neighbour who he occasionally brains with a fucking brick, has been over and has been calling Alexander (and also Dagwood) a dumbbell all day. So to get revenge on Alvin, Blondie is getting all competitive about the IQ test, telling Alexander that he has to beat Alvin.

It’s giving me flashbacks to a music teacher I had in high school. We were going to a concert band competition in another province, and she told us she wouldn’t accept us bringing home anything other than gold. In the middle of the performance, we lost time with each other (because we’d never played in an auditorium and weren’t used to the acoustics) and had to start the song over. We got bronze. On the bus ride home, she didn’t talk to us. I don’t think she even looked at us.

The next year, I took drama instead of music.

9:27

Ok. So. The dude with the IQ test watched Alexander build a house out of toy blocks. Based on that, he told Blondie that Alexander is a genius, and that his IQ is 168.

(What follows is me disassembling the logic of this, which I’ll shortly learn was a pointless endeavour.)

First of all, no way can he determine an IQ that specific based on a house Alexander built out of toy blocks. Secondly, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be telling a child they’re a genius, since they’d end up developing less motivation, thinking that their accomplishments are a result of natural gifts rather than hard work. And third, UNLESS they turn around and reveal that the IQ test, which I’ll note happened off-screen, was somehow wrong and Alexander isn’t actually a genius, then I am going to spend the remaining movies in this series frustrated at their continued insistence on calling him “Baby Dumpling.” Which, you know, I already am anyway. Although maybe demeaning him like that will balance out them telling him he’s a genius.

9:34

Oh ok. The test wasn’t wrong. The IQ dude is just a con artist selling encyclopedias.

Should’ve seen that coming.

9:38

Dagwood thought IQ meant temperature, and came rushing home thinking Alexander was terribly sick. It cut to him ripping up the encyclopedias Blondie just bought, saying “This guy’s crazy, coming around here with books at a time like this.”

What an insufferable doofus.

9:41

I’m not a fan of Blondie entirely falling for this con artist’s BS. I feel like she hasn’t been that gullible before. She’s gotten mad at Dagwood based on comical misunderstandings, but that’s been understandable based on the context she didn’t have. But we as an audience are given just as much context as Blondie is to know that this dude is swindling her. It just makes her seem stupid.

9:48

Teacher: “Well, how do you do young man? So you want to start to school?”

Blondie: “NO MA'AM!”

Mood.

9:51

Man, elementary school is a bonkers institution. Just send your small child to a building they cannot leave full of strangers who have absolute authority over them, and are sometimes totally insane people, where they’ll be taught things they not only cannot use but definitely will not remember because they’re tiny tiny children. And sometimes the insane adult strangers will yell at your child. For not behaving. And they’re not behaving because they’re in a place they don’t want to be and cannot leave where strangers have the authority to yell at them for mistakes they’re making FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES BECAUSE THEY’RE SMALL SMALL CHILDREN.

10:11

Huh. I think they just broke the canon? I’ve been calling Baby Dumpling Alexander because the Wikipedia for the first movie listed him as Alexander "Baby Dumpling" Bumstead, but in Blondie Brings Up Baby, they just had this exchange:

Alexander: “[They beat me up] ’cause my name’s Baby Dumpling.”

Dagwood: “Well, your real name’s Dagwood, after me. Maybe we’ll call you that now that you’re going to school?”

Alexander: “Noooo. Guess I’ll stay Baby Dumpling.”

I dunno if his real name’s Alexander in the comic strip and they just forgot while they were writing this? They haven’t called him Alexander in the other movies, I was just basing that entirely off the Wikipedia article. I can’t believe they’d make 28 movies without a clear story bible.

(Future Euan looked it up. In the comic strip, Baby Dumpling grew up into a teenager, and became Alexander.)

I’m still gonna call him Alexander by the way.

10:17

As these movies have gone on, I’ve been increasingly concerned about the wellbeing of the dog. Like, the real dog, behind the scenes. I really hope they weren’t abusing her to get her to do all the stuff she does. But I can’t say I’d be surprised if they were. She kinda gives the vibe of “dog doing impressive tricks because they’ll punish her if she doesn’t.” Maybe I’m wrong though. Maybe they had, like, a super good treat to give her every time she did a trick.

10:23

10:24

God I wish I were watching Peanuts.

10:25

Or reading Peanuts.

10:26

You ever notice how in old movies when they cross-fade between two shots, there’ll be an abrupt change in the brightness of the footage right before it fades, and then again after it stops fading? One day I’ll learn why that was.

(Here’s the answer, courtesy of future Euan: https://www.quora.com/How-did-movies-do-a-cross-fade-with-real-film)

10:36

Only moment I’ve liked so far: Daisy’s gone missing (because a dogcatcher caught her and brought her to the pound). The mailman, a young guy on a bike who’s had a recurring bit through every movie where he whistles and Daisy comes running to take the paper from him, just whistled, and instead of Daisy, Alexander came to take the mail and tells him Daisy’s missing. And he says “As soon as I’m finished delivering, I’ll look for her. I’ll look on my bike.”

That’s kinda sweet. No sweet moments between Dagwood and Blondie yet this time, but one sweet moment between a mailman who’s barely talked before and a dog.

10:42

There’s a lot of punching in these movies. Like, just Dagwood suddenly becoming infuriated and decking someone in the face.

What a violent doofus.

10:47

Dagwood got arrested for assaulting the dude who got him fired and didn’t have enough to pay it off so he got put in jail. His boss, Mr. Dithers, came to pay it off for him, while the dude’s in court.

Dithers: “How much is it your honour?”

Judge: “Ten dollars.”

Dithers: “Is that all that cost?”

Judge: “Mm.”

(Dithers punches the dude out)

Dithers: (offering money) “Here’s another one, your honour.”

I don’t want to hear another word about video games inciting violence in young people. Goddamn the rest of culture is responsible for glorifying violence.

10:53

Alexander: “You’re a girl. I don’t like girls.”

Girl: “Why?”

Alexander: “Oh… Don’t know. I learned it in school.”

Ho-ly shit. Movie spitting straight truth.

10:59

Might as well drop this here:

I’ve decided that once I’ve watched all the movies, I’m gonna write my own Blondie, A 60 page screenplay with all the hallmarks and the structure of the other ones. I mean, if I’m gonna be dragging them through the dirt, it’s only fair that I see if I could do any better.

11:02

I Want a Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown. That’d be a good one to be watching right about now.

11:07

No, I tell you what:

There are Blondie movies for every year between 1939 and 1950, EXCEPT for 1944. So that’s when I’ll write my script. Once I’ve watched the first 14, every Blondie movie between 1939 and 1943, I’ll write the Blondie movie to have come out in 1944.

11:10

I now have the context for why the police surrounded the shed that Dagwood was in. It still doesn’t make sense though. He was trespassing on a rich guy’s yard, a gardener knocked him out with a shovel and dragged him into the shed, and then presumably called for all of the police to come pick him up, and bring enough weapons to keep a city-wide riot at bay.

11:13

So the police thought Dagwood was somehow responsible for Alexander and the rich dude’s daughter going missing?

Well I’m riveted.

11:16

Or Why, Charlie Brown, Why?

11:19

“You see, playing with other children is the solution. Oh, if only this city had some place where this sort of thing could be carried out. Where the weak children could get courage from the strong, and the strong could learn compassion.”

So not school then.

“Why, I could do something like that. A sort of home for children! I’ll build it myself. It’ll be light and airy, with plenty of windows and playgrounds.”

THE ORPHANAGE

11:25

This movie ends with Dagwood getting insulted again by Alvin. He finds a tear gas bomb that he put in his pocket earlier when the police were attacking him, and says “Here’s a nice ball for you to play with.”

Dagwood just tried to tear gas a child.

What a dangerous doofus.

And once again, no Dagwood Sandwich Watch 2019. However, I’ll give the movie a rating all the same.

Turns out Willie Best isn’t in the movie. Wikipedia was wrong. I’m guessing somebody copied and pasted the cast from the first movie, so that they could put in the regular cast, and forgot to take him out. And the movie wasn’t, as I assumed from the title, about Dagwood being a stay-at-home father. Which, I’ve only just realized, is still me thinking Blondie means Dagwood because he’s so much more prominent in the franchise, and I somehow still haven’t managed to internalize that his name is Dagwood. It’s like I’ve learned nothing since I started this. ANYWAY point is the movie wasn’t racist or sexist. It was just boring. Terribly terribly boring.

My rating is: One Dagwood Sandwich with some ham on the outside and nothing on the inside. Blame Amazon.