#because lbr he's kind of a dick

[whcwashe]

Have we ever talked about my theory that Liv’s abilities didn’t just turn on one day, Jasper probably had them walled off somehow in the hopes that she’d be totally normal for as long as possible? But it was also contingent on him being alive. And I think Manny probably found a way to pull the walls down even faster just so that Constantine would have to drag himself out of Ravenscar.

Plus, I think Manny was banking on finding a way to manipulate Liv, which is why he was so pissy about John driving her off.

[withalittlesorcery]

"Alastor would use Angel to manipulate Husk" is fun and all but have you considered the other way around? Alastor would absolutely 100% use Husk to manipulate Angel

Alastor's ultimate goal is power - gaining as much control as he possibly can. It stands to reason that part of this is gaining control of as many of the people around him as possible. He already has control of Husk, he owns his soul and we know for a fact that Husk is scared enough of him to stand down when told to. He doesn't actually need to use Angel to gain control of Husk. Why waste effort on something you already have?

Realistically, Alastor doesn't actually have much leverage over Angel. Sure, he could make a deal, but Angel doesn't have a soul to gamble. He's self destructive, has very little attachment to his own autonomy (seeing as he's barely remembers having any autonomy in the first place), and honestly doesn't seem to have much regard for his personal safety (see: keeping Charlie and Nifty from Valentino). Angel doesn't seem to have an awful lot of hope that things can/will get better, which makes him hard to manipulate because he doesn't really feel like he has anything to protect

But Angel has Husk

And we know that (even pre-relationship) Husk means A Lot to Angel. He's the only character who seems to actually understand him on a fundamental level, the only character who genuinely puts Angel ahead of himself, and honestly possibly the first person to ever give Angel unconditional love and support. He is Angel's biggest weakness, and he is under Alastor's complete control

He is also one of the only people in the hotel that Alastor doesn't have a grip on. He's got Husk's soul, potentially Nifty's as well but honestly idk what's going on with that, Charlie's got blind faith in him and Vaggie's glaring weakness is Charlie (who Alastor already has some degree of control over), Sir Pentious is dead (rip to a real one) and the egg boys are either dead or very happy to follow Alastor's commands. Lucifer is preoccupied with his reverse daddy issues and dick measuring contest with Alastor. Angel is kind of the weakest link as far as Alastor is concerned

Angel is also an in with the Vees! He is up close and personal with at least one of them on a regular basis - the one who seems to have the most confidence in his own power and therefore the one who is most likely to be careless with what he says around Angel. He is in the perfect position to get information etc for Alastor, and he sure as hell does not care about his own personal safety so threatening someone he cares about is the best way for Alastor to make Angel do is bidding. I've seen people talk about Alastor getting Angel out to piss Vox off, but to be honest I think Angel being on the inside serves Alastor's purpose better (and lbr Vox wants Angel GONE)

So yeah, Alastor using Husk to manipulate Angel and all the angst that comes with it. Husk and Angel both realising it's happening, and both being powerless to stop it because yeah sure they could break up but that's not going to change the fact that Alastor could threaten Husk and Angel would do anything to stop it.

[sluttywonwoo]

The Reaction of them walking in on you was so much fun 😂 Can I ask about how they would react if you walked in on them?

seungcheol: “notice how the door was closed? yeah, there was a reason for that.”

jeonghan: he walks around kind of naked anyway so neither of you are surprised

joshua: “you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to, i don’t mind. no, i don’t mean it like that! unless…” 👀

jun: “you’re so lucky my dick wasn’t out, jesus christ.”

soonyoung: “you like what you see?” 😼

wonwoo: “oh hey.”

jihoon: he’d act all scandalized but lbr he doesn’t spend all of that time in the gym for people not to look

seokmin: reflexively throws whatever it is he’s holding at you and only apologizes once he realizes it’s you

mingyu: it could go one of two ways— 1) he gets all shy and covers himself up or, 2) he’s cocky about it and makes fun of you for getting flustered

minghao: he could not care less tbh. as a performer people see him in various states of undress all the time. sure, it matters more because it’s you but as long as it doesn’t make things weird between you he wouldn’t mind all that much

seungkwan: oh you’re getting cursed the eff out even though it was an accident

vernon: high-pitched whining at you to get out (add it to the ‘vernon never beating the maknae allegations’ compilation videos)

chan: he’s a confident dude. he’d probably flex at you to make you laugh and show off simultaneously… two birds one stone type beat

[romanyeva]

Considered from a Romani perspective, these panels from Nightwing (2016) #8 just hit a little different.

Raptor, who has been a morally grey mentor to Dick up to this point, isn't speaking to Bruce here as a villain or an antihero, but as a Rom.

Nightwing (2016) #8

Here he's talking to Dick, trying to convince him to leave Bruce (and to let Bruce die which, yeah, Dick isn't going to allow, lbr).

But. He kind of has a point? Because his anger against Bruce "who took a son that wasn't his to raise...from his home, from his people" touches on a very real world issue.

Romani kids are taken by authorities from their families all the time, often for the flimsiest of reasons, all over the world (x) (x) (x). They're either placed for adoption, put in foster homes, or even state care facilities. And often, those families can never get these children back.

Tim Seeley's run, and this storyline in particular, has a number of problems, but he comes so CLOSE here to addressing this issue (but inevitably skirts around it). I've yet to see any other Dick Grayson writer do so at all.

[inchidentally]

Crown Prince Lando AU idea based entirely on his appearance today in Italy for his trophy and Lawrence writing about how every team is courting Lando

okay so I wrote this rly fast on the work laptop and you have to just ignore the weird interpretations of how royalty and inheritance etc works. and completely fucking with how things went down in F1 history. it's an absolute mess and possibly unreadable but I literally couldn't stop myself.

if you're a fic author then pleaaaaase have a look and see if you can take this and actually make anything out of it even if it needs a lot of changes.

Crown Prince Lando has been fought over by nations since he was seventeen years old. His parents had retired from royal duties to live quietly in the countryside but a series of deaths and lack of heirs resulted in Lando living most of his life being prepared for ascension to the throne. His parents did as good a job as they could to keep Lando humble and "normal" while having to live a kind of sequestered monastic existence.

As he grew so did his future subjects' love and adoration of him. They loved his humor and his cheeky treatment of the solemn institution surrounding him. As he grew into being a beauty the country took endless pride in him and watched his exploits as a touring royal closely.

Fernando Alonso was the first to pledge his troth to Prince Lando because he could see the promise in Lando of one day becoming a truly beloved ruler - a quality he himself had found wanting in his own slow gathering of power. However he was persuaded early on by his advisers and Lando's parents to withdraw due to his 'already advanced age'. Lando's debut at court was postponed by his parents to prevent any other establishment attempting to lay their claim before Lando felt comfortable and ready.

The powerful Sainz Vázquez de Castro family swooped in next and arranged a series of public meetings between Prince Lando and their wicked (meaning "experienced") and devastatingly handsome son Carlos Jr. His charisma and dark eyes charmed Prince Lando immediately and a wedding date was set for the following year. Lando's debut at court was hastily arranged to happen mere days prior. Probably should insert something here about Lando being made to live this period of life in a guarded tower and attendants being present whenever he was with Carlos because chastity being required for marriage. And the only way to keep Carlos' dick out of Lando was the threat of a priest's guard cutting it off. But lbr they manage to sneak around well enough to do everything else.

Unfortunately the royal courts of Europe were shaken by a quick series of upsets: Sovereign Prince Lorenzo of Monaco abdicated the throne in search of a quieter life - his heart had never been in it since his father, the former sovereign, had become ill and abdicated. This left Lorenzo's unwed brother Charles to be hastily crowned Prince Regent at the tender age of 22 (and unable to become sovereign himself due to being a second son, again my weird rules). As a result Charles suffered the loss of his long-time suitor, nobleman Sebastian Vettel, who couldn't bear the thought of being sovereign let alone of a land that wasn't even his own.

Enter the Sainz Vázquez de Castro elders siezing the opportunity and negotiating a deal with Monaco in private conclave with the Papal State (??) to wed their son Carlos to the Prince Regent. Carlos is ashamed at giving in to the temptation… to not just be King Consort but to be Sovereign Prince, to rule over the vast wealth of Monaco and by extension the Holy See, to have the coveted beauty Charles in his bed. So he agrees to be spirited away to Monaco and the ugly business of dissolving his betrothal to Lando is left to members of church and state.

But Carlos experiences a complete conversion when Charles is on his knees in the cathedral - looking up at him with docile green eyes as Carlos' fingertips touch the warm red roses of Charles' lips as he holds the chalice of holy wine for Charles to drink. Carlos was almost hard beneath the ermine and velvet robes in a house of God when the crown was on his head and Charles next to him - and slightly below - smiling up at him with filaments of gold hanging from pendants on his chaplet, framing his achingly beautiful face. If Carlos feels his immense happiness and prosperity darken whenever he sees Lando's picture or encounters him at one of the courts then no one need know.

Prince Lando is of course too heartbroken to consider other suitors and his court is demoralized by their own failure to seal his future. Only brash American tycoon Zak Brown keeps the faith that Lando's appeal as he grows will land him a better match than any Euro old money looking to aggrandize themselves and take advantage of Lando's youth to displace his rightful future as King.

A stroke of genius is the arrival of commoner Daniel Ricciardo whose rise up the ranks of society has hit more than a few speedbumps over the years. He's in the perfect position to act as placeholder and a sort of 'playmate' for the young Prince Regent. Daniel does the job of squiring Lando around and cheering him up beautifully. So beautifully that Daniel begins to see in his charge's wide eyes a future that he had only ever let himself dream of before. He begins to publicly push the boundaries of propriety with Lando like holding hands, embracing him from behind, dancing scandalously close together. The dam begins to break when Daniel opens a public social media account and begins posting adoring and fairly intimate videos of Lando that prove to be a massive hit with the public… and that fan rumours of the Crown Prince breaking with tradition and marrying a commoner.

Exeunt Daniel Ricciardo.

(Yes I know this isn't remotely his role but go with it) Newly appointed Lord Chancellor Andrea Stella proposes that only a candidate the same age as Lando - or ideally younger - should be considered to ensure that his claim to the throne be safeguarded. Because Lando hasn't spent the intervening years doing nothing but swooning over a succession of suitors, he's perfected his role and learned his court and won over the hearts of his people. He's effected harmonious relations with rival kingdoms seemingly effortlessly. The royal coffers have never been so full and trade is booming. Lando and his court all know that Lando could easily rule alone. But the fire that the now King of Monaco had lit inside him refused to go out. It begged to be fueled and to burn brighter.

Then one day Andrea hears a murmur of controversy happening in the middling levels of the aristocracy. The scoundrel Alonso had construed a match between one Oscar Piastri and Frenchman Esteban Ocon as a means of effecting his (Alonso's) escape and aggrandizing the Alpine dynasty. There were further details about a drama between Ocon and countryman Pierre Gasley but all that interested Andrea was that young Piastri had ordered a direct pronouncement be made against the match and any further association with Alpine. He had already rejected the opportunity of being presented at court and clearly had plans for his own future that would not depend on the protection or condescension of any other power but his own.

Imagine Andrea's surprise when Zak Brown announces at the next privy council meeting that preliminary arrangements had been made with young Piastri to be the Crown Prince's companion for the following season. A pretense at Piastri having an interest in royal politics was to be given to everyone, including Piastri himself. But Andrea and Zak shared a knowing look across the mote-stained light straining through the high windows of the old chamber. The Crown Prince barely even hears the details as he wearily signs off on the public notice along with the other endless papers at his elbow. He doesn't even dream that a wildcard is being played for his future happiness.

The eldest son of the prominent and noble Piastri family from Tuscany is suitably beautiful with the characteristic straight brow, fine pale features and soulful deep amber eyes of his people. He is tall and still growing with an effortless regal bearing despite his youth. The first few meetings between him and the Crown Prince are cordial and with a promising warmth. Andrea is encouraged by the pink that rises high on Piastri's pale cheeks whenever he shares smiles with Lando but he's even more encouraged by the steady intensity of his gaze when Lando isn't looking.

For the first few months, Piastri remains a faithful but distant part of Lando's royal retinue. They interact often enough and clearly like each other. But it also comes at a time of unrest in Lando's kingdom as a result of the ascension of an ambitious and possibly ruthless young King in the Netherlands. Lando proposes a visit to Castle Toro Rosso and asks Piastri to accompany them due to the Italian affiliation with the Dutch royal house. Something about Piastri's calm and quiet confidence helps stabilize Lando and he needs all the support he can get.

The visit is strained and the Dutch court is intimidating - and rather grating - in it's brash opulence and show of dominance. The young King is more of a mystery, seeming cold and aloof but flashing a wry smile at Lando's well-known charm and humor. The tide turns entirely in Lando's favor at the tourney. Lando has been barred from jousting following his formal presentation as crown prince due to some finicky archaic British law and it eats away at it him to have to sit and watch while the Dutch King was allowed to ride for himself. More than once Lando moodily pushes at the circlet that keeps slipping over his curls and can feel himself being increasingly bratty and short with his attendants.

Piastri was already reknowned for his prowess in jousting and was automatically given the seat to represent the Crown Prince. When he appeared mounted on a blood bay charger that gleamed almost golden and black in the hot sun (MCL colors kinda??) Lando has A Moment when Piastri tips his visor open and addresses him formally and those intense brown eyes behind the cold armor make him look so much older. Lando causes a stir when he descends from his seat and gives Piastri his favor in the form of a ribbon from one of his full sleeves. They have one of Those Looks between each other before Piastri turns to take his place. He bests every one of his opponents and isn't unseated once.

Then the Dutch King Max Emilian appears and strangely shuns any pageantry associated with a knight's entry, let alone a king's. His Lady sits in his place flanked by both her own and the King's powerful families and court. Lando finds himself suddenly flooded with fear because what would happen if Oscar lost? What would happen if Oscar won? When had he become 'Oscah' and not just Piastri?

The collision unseats both King Max Emilian and Oscar and they draw swords. The fight is precise and clinical and breathtaking. Perhaps it was because of having more to lose or perhaps it was the press of the Crown Prince's lips against the silk ribbon he gave as tribute but Oscar suddenly anticipates a step too far ahead for the young King and a unified gasp is heard when Max Emilian's body hits the dirt. It's instinct that has Oscar's sword held at the King's throat. But when Max Emilian throws his visor back his bloodied mouth is stretched in a wide toothy grin. He barks out a series of high cackles and ceremonially begs mercy. Oscar breathes out in a rush and claps his armored hand around the King's and helps him to his feet. Max Emilian flicks Oscar's visor open for him and lifts his hand declaring Oscar's well-earned victory. Lando forgets himself and leaps up yelling and cheering as his court smiles ruefully over at the stiff, formal "celebrations" coming from the stands opposite.

Holy god I've written way more than I meant to but let's have it finish off with Lando whispering to gain access to the tent where Oscar is undressing and cleaning his wounds. Perhaps his armor has been removed down to the hips the way driver's drop their race suits down after a race. Oscar startles when he sees Lando alone with him and rushes to kneel to him. Maybe Lando puts his hand under Oscar's chin and tells him to rise up and oh maybe seeing Oscar sweaty and dirtied with a cut to one cheek and a few bruises on his body makes him forget himself. Maybe he surges up and kisses Oscar and maybe Oscar is shocked but also feels exactly the same way and kisses him right back. Then probably Oscar decides to make his boldest move yet and says that if Lando doesn't want him then he'll quietly go away - but if Lando does want him then Oscar would welcome the title King Consort, would be proud of it in fact to be in service a king like Lando one day.

Then Lando either passes out because he's been in blue ball hell since Carlos and years worth of arousal hit him all at once or maybe he just whimpers a little and starts wondering how fast a royal wedding can get planned so he can Get That Dick ASAP.

Fin.

[spite-and-waffles]

Someone explain to me why Jason feels more Bruce's son than any of the others. Especially considering Jason would have lived and thrived with any parent except Bruce.

Maybe because Bruce is only a father figure to Dick and Tim‚ who loved and preferred their own fathers. Damian's Dad is Dick (I will not be taking questions). Cass wanted Bruce to be her father so bad but he just wouldn't. Even the belated adoption was mere formality. But Jason? He probably did love Willis but he adored Bruce, and Bruce adored him back. I don't think he loved him more than Dick, who will always be his favourite because he was his first partner and child, and because of all the ways he isn't like Bruce. But Bruce and Jason were always father and son without any of the complexity between Bruce and the others.

And Jason is so like Bruce. Everyone says Tim is most like him because of the way their brains work, but it's Dick who actually has been moulded into Batman-lite. Damian is his mother's child; always craving connection and acceptance to anchor him within his inner tempest. He'd die in the kind of darkness Bruce enshrouds himself in. Cassandra has Bruce's drive and focus and inability to conceive of herself as person outside of the mission (although lbr they're all like that. Sigh) But her open compassion, unguarded empathy and playfulness characterizes her more than even Dick.

Jason, otoh, is a thing that will grab a sword by the blade and cut himself to the bone forcing it back. His light and darkness are one and the same. He's the one who can match Bruce's fear and fury and hubris that tries to bend the world into the shape of his choosing with his bare hands.

Idk why I hate Bruce and love Jason. They're both equally myopic and hypocritical and selfish‚ as unable to see past their own trauma, as lacking in self-awareness. Maybe because Jason's just a boy who needs someone on his side while Bruce has too many on his. Maybe because he was born and raised among the people he wants to protect, unlike Bruce, and has so much more excuse for being the way he is. Maybe because he never takes himself so seriously, and uses his sense of humour just like Dick and Steph do, just in an entertainingly assholish fashion.

But if any child could have been biologically Bruce's it would be Jason. Which probably lies at the heart of their eternal conflict. Neither of them will give, neither will blink first. Two men made to forever burn alive.

[ficoandleo]

I have mega ADHD so I forget things easily and have a hard time settling down and doing stuff. I don't remember everyone who deactivates or goes inactive. And I know I should express my love more for people who are currently around--i'd like to do that someday too!! But idk i kinda wanted to shout out to some of the people who deactivated/disappeared, especially recently, in the off chance they see this and know i love them lol

@battyoldman let's start with you because whether or not you decide to stick around you're kind of the most recent. I really hope you just need some time away for your mental health and, if this is something you'd like to continue doing, if it's something you enjoy, that you come back and keep blessing us with your presence. Your Ed is so. Silly and fun and chill and perfect. The video and movie titles you'd come up with are so befitting of his goofy conspiracy interests. You have really captured that old man's essence, in my opinion. Your interactions with Rui were so seamless I figured you were in one of the discord servers and already knew each other and you were just growing and exploring a relationship you'd already practiced in another setting. Honestly everything felt so seamless on your end when I saw you interact with others and when I got to interact with you--Ed was so largely unphased by everyone's shit and distaste for him(up until Towa said he was bad at sucking dick, he was not taking that lying down--) and the way he entertained himself with everyone's affairs. . .he really had the feeling of lying away in his tower, entertained by the humans. 10/10, if it's still fun for you I hope you won't leave us because we will miss you.

@ask-kaito-fuji i didn't get to interact with you much WHICH IS A SHAME. Your Kaito is so cute and he's. Really trying he felt so solid and charming and just awkward enough and I love the way you let him interact with posts that were ooc too because lbr he loves social media! He would be vibing out on tumblr!! It felt like he was this close to realizing he was in the matrix sometimes. Seeing people know a bunch of stuff and going 'why/how do you know so much it's so creepy!!' was delightful, and getting to personally chat with him once or twice was also very fun. 10/10 you brought the party to other people and you captured the character very well. His PDL is coming up though, so you may wanna hide him /joke

@frostheimking so your blog is gone but not deactivated(deactivated tumblrs have '-deactivated' and a string of numbers on the end of them and you can often still ping them) which, to me, reeks of Tumblr being stupid because I've seen that happen to multiple people before. I don't think you're gone on purpose, I assume there was a bad spam deletion somewhere or an alleged break of the rules because I've seen that happen before. So I'm hoping you either get the blog back or remake because, while you weren't around often because lbr it's slow around here for the most part, I loved your Jin??? I don't just mean because he was kinda flirting with Romeo, he was snappy and cold and. Idk he really felt like Jin. That's the best way I can think to word it, you captured his character from what I could see. I enjoyed our interactions and I enjoyed the ones you had with others too! I was looking forward to exploring Romeo and Jin's history and dynamic with you quite a bit haha. HOPEFULLY YOU GET YOUR BLOG BACK or remake if you're interested!! 10/10 tumblr fix your shit there's unfinished business--

@leo-brat-kurosagi-deactivated20 hey. You. You are far more Leo than I am lmao. I DO NOT HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO BE THE MEAN LEO THAT YOU WERE. I WISH I COULD BE AS SNARKY AND BRILLIANT. You weren't around super long and you didn't get to have a ton of interactions or answer a lot of asks but like. How do I say that I could just kind of tell what kind of potential was there for something great??? You handled him very well in the time you played him. You lived up to being a little brat for sure.

@sinostracasino-deactivated20241 YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE VISCERAL REACTION OF WHAT NO WHY COME BACK THAT I FELT SEEING YOU GONE. You were hilarious and fun and silly and also a good writer as I recall. Your Taiga had great energy and this underlying tension to him and we would have dug into that Taiga doesn't care about himself if Romeo wasn't afraid to do so. I was looking forward to them having some great, stupid, cyclical arguments, maybe a shootout, maybe eventually getting back together a little. And maybe a little something for that birthday trip to Rui's bar. And his chemistry and interactions with others and with anons were fun??? Immediately warming up to Towa? Teasing the honor students?? The little bit of 'bickering' with Ritsu? Also the way you tagged some of your reblogs god. 10/10 Taiga, he owes so much child support.

. . .those are the ones off the top of my head, mostly recent, which isn't to say I don't see or recognize or have appreciation for others not being around a lot or going away(like @/ask-lucas-errant who did answer an ask recently-ish, who isn't too active but that's probably because of lack of asks/interaction; @/shiranami-ren who I figure isn't around much because they draw a lot of their answers and that's a bit more intensive of a way to run their blog--amazing stuff and very much the classic way to do this from the old days, I would absolutely do the same if I could draw; and the Lycas who deleted probably because of inactivity) all of whom have/had great presentation for their characters and handled them well but. Idk. Maybe i ended up posting mostly people 'closer' to me in this context haha. . . .

I wish this fandom was bigger and more active with sending asks and stuff because I feel like that's a big contributor to people falling off or deleting, and I wish I were more consistent with asks and responses and better at sending asks myself because I could be the change I want to see in the world. (I feel like the asks I send have to be, like, good. Like I appreciate getting simple and basic asks but I feel like I need to ask Big Headcanon Questions or something.) But I know everyone's got their own lives and their own things going on so I'm not going to pretend I know what's going on with everyone, y'know? More than anything I hope everyone--active, inactive, deleted, or otherwise--is happy and safe and comfortable where they are and that the ones who've dropped off didn't do so because of anything bad or any kind of discouragement. Sometimes we lose interest in things and that's more than fine. Or life is busy. I hope you're all doing well. I miss you! I'm sure I'm not the only one!

[kiirschtein-archive]

⋆ 「 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞. 」 ⋆

gojo likes to push your limits because he knows he can get away with it; doesn’t matter if it’s mental, physical, or emotional, because you’ll love him at the end of it anyway. (aka satoru’s going to force himself inside you even if you don’t have enough room.)

pairing. — satoru gojo x fem bodied!reader

word count. — 2k

content. — nsfw (18+ only), no pronouns for reader, established relationship, mild hate-fucking, fingering, minimal preparation, unprotected sex, size kink (in the dick to coochie ratio), pain/discomfort during penetration (reader), elements of dubious consent (gojo keeps going despite reader's discomfort), creampie

notes. —  this idea randomly popped into my head yesterday and is a little self-indulgent, but i tried to write it as to not be very exclusive. as much as i wish i was a size queen, i most certainly am not, so this is kind of a tribute to my fellow smaller-coochied people. but like lbr gojo got that horse dick so this could honestly apply to the masses

also, this is my first jjk + gojo fic so... pls be nice 😭 i'm doing my best. just testing out the waters. if it's ooc... just pretend like it ain't 💔

To put it in perspective: sometimes you legitimately despise his cocky and self-assured nature. Funnily enough, it’s that same nature that often makes him so alluring. Not only do you find Satoru’s disposition particularly magnetic, but he is also incredibly difficult to say no to, much to your regular despair. As badly as you wish you could refuse his desires and wipe the filthy smirk from his handsome face, you find yourself powerless against him more often than not. It frustrates you to no end that he manages to get away with most anything he sets his mind to with you, but still, you remain satisfied, tethered to him as though you are under a spell, or a curse. Fight as you may, any push-back you give him will most likely end the same way it usually does…

“I love you.” Satoru mumbles and grins against your lips.

��Shut up,” you snap in return, fist balled into the fabric of his shirt.

He hisses but hardly seems wounded. “Ouch. So cold.”

The reason you’re frustrated with him is irrelevant at this point, but you're obviously not frustrated enough to keep him from sticking his tongue in your mouth. In fact, you welcome it with a certain vicious greed, pulling him into your body despite the fact that he has the advantage of being above you, hips pinning you to the bed. Your thighs part around them on instinct, accustomed to feeling his weight pressing against you so firmly.

Gojo disengages from your kiss to slip the shirt from over his head and cast it aside, revealing a toned body whose heat seeps into the tips of your fingers when you touch it. He makes quick work of your bottoms and underwear too, yanking them down with an experienced vigor, and you lift your hips off the bed to aid him. 

Haste and impatience seem to be the tone of this encounter for the both of you, so he doesn’t feel the need to make much of a show of undressing this time, nor does he even seem to see it as entirely necessary–this much is made evident by how he only slides his pants down enough to pull his cock out, not bothering to go through the motions of becoming fully nude. 

Satoru’s fist finds his swollen length to give himself a pacifying couple of strokes as he looms over you, groaning at the sight of your slick heat on full display for his personal enjoyment. You almost follow the urge to comment on how he pleases himself yet leaves you half-naked and neglected, but you’re enthralled enough by the image of Gojo with his hand wrapped around his dick, piercing blue eyes lingering on your cunt, that you swallow back your biting words.

He doesn’t keep you waiting for long, however. Satoru leans forward again to give you another kiss, his heavy, weeping length pressing against the inside of your thigh while he leaves enough room to sneak a large hand down between your bodies. 

Slender fingers part your soaking folds with an obvious goal in mind. He doesn’t think twice. He doesn’t hesitate. He always plays with you like his most favorite, familiar toy, completely confident in whatever he chooses to do because he claims to know you so well. (So confident for someone who whines whenever your mouth is around his cock…)

He pushes two digits inside you, breath warming your neck as he pumps them in and out a couple of times for good measure, slicking them up with your arousal as he pleases. You drip around him so well that he decides you’re ready to take him. This consensus is reached silently and without your input, so you whine and grumble at the sudden loss of fingers inside you, unappreciative of Gojo’s tease.

“C’mon…” you urge, trying to grind your hips up towards him while he licks you off his fingers with an irritating grin. If nothing else, you thought the both of you had at least agreed upon getting the ball rolling. You’d been under the impression that the impatience was mutual, so why is he playing around?

“Chill out, I’m getting there.”

You roll your eyes as he sucks a mark onto your neck, cock now brushing up against your clit as he grows ever closer to giving you what you want. Before that, though, Satoru quickly yanks the front of your shirt up enough to free your breasts, bra slipping up with it as he palms your flesh and gives the nipple a well-placed tweak.

When he’s finished entertaining himself with the way you moan, he brings his hand back down to the base of his cock, lines himself up against you, and without warning, sinks into you as far as he can go.

It isn’t all that fast, but it isn’t slow either; it’s just quick enough to have you tensing and sucking in a sharp gasp, feeling an aching pressure as he settles against your cervix. Your palms start to push at his hips to try and force him back. “Too deep!” you say, breathless and pained. But all your efforts are futile for his strength and determination are steadfast. He doesn’t even budge despite your wriggling.

“Nuh uh–you can take it,” is all he says in return. And does the bastard ever stop smiling? His playful expression is in stark contrast to the way your face crinkles in discomfort, and it would be an understatement to say that it pisses you off. Why do you love him?

Since you had pierced him with such iciness before, Satoru decides that he will return the sentiment.

You wince at his first thrust, the head of his cock hitting the same depth as before if not even deeper, sending a jolt of pain through your lower abdomen. Your fingers clutch the bare skin of his back without regard for the damage they may cause, but it’s all that keeps you grounded as he starts to slowly repeat the assault on your womb. Your whimpers do nothing to deter him.

“Satoru…”

“‘S’okay, gorgeous.” He kisses your collarbone and then catches your gaze. “Dontcha wanna feel me all the way up in here?” His fingers poke your sternum and he smiles briefly, ever amused with himself. The expression fades when you squeeze around him and it draws out a moan that he can’t repress.

Satoru picks up his speed, battering your insides with every thrust and not even managing to bottom out despite the way he pushes, trying to force your body to allow him in. The pain swirls with pleasure even as he disregards your limits, the fullness rising up through your body and almost into your chest as he’d suggested. It angers you to think of the satisfaction he’d get from it, so as a means of retaliation, your fingers thread into white strands of hair and tug.

“F-fuck,” he stutters a bit, elated by how your resistance brings him such pleasure. Gojo even chuckles against your throat, breath growing heavy as he repeatedly fucks you open, forcing a little bit more of himself inside each time. He reaches down to thumb at your clit, knowing the motions that will set you ablaze; perhaps the pleasure will help offset the pain of his relentless thrusts.

A shiver shoots through you at the first delicious sign of pressure, making you tense and flutter as a reflex. However, you soften a little afterwards, heat filling your cheeks and thighs parting even further to accommodate the man whose tongue sweeps across your lower lip while he swallows your sounds. Your hips ache and his cock reaches even deeper now, slipping in with wet noises that appease him as he casts a glance down to watch you finally take nearly every inch.

“See? I told ya,” he boasts with a breathy voice, cheeks flushed and thumb still messily stroking at your swollen clit. He wouldn’t push you if he didn’t know you’d be able to overcome the discomfort. Or would he? Maybe it was a tough love approach, or maybe it simply amused him to watch you struggle before fully opening yourself up to him like you so often did. Slightly sadistic with a selfish streak? That seemed applicable to Satoru. But regardless of the intentions, a delicious heat coils in your belly a little more each time he fills you to the brim, stretching and carving his own personal space inside of you. 

Both physically and emotionally, he doesn’t quite fit; he’s a little too much at first, but Gojo forces himself inside until you realize that you’re able to make space for him. He pushes buttons and boundaries not only just because he can, but because something tells him that you want him to. Even if he already knows it, it’s as if he’s trying to force you to tell him that you love him, begging for it in the form of torturing you. And you wouldn’t continue to put up with it if you didn’t always enjoy the ride.

Satoru fixates on the rhythm of your tits bouncing as your body is repeatedly jarred, moans and whines spilling from your lips while the peak of pleasure begins to approach you with greater speed. 

“‘Toru…” you breathe, nails stinging his flesh and walls clenching around him unforgivingly. The squeeze of your cunt makes you impossibly tighter and would almost force him out if he didn’t keep pushing back in, determined to fuck you into an orgasm as fast as he can. He needn’t double his efforts because you’re already at the cusp, but he does, hips slamming forward and sweat glistening across his skin to give him a glowing, fucked-out appearance that puts you in a trance.

“Cum for me,” he beckons, throat tight and marvelous eyes capturing your own. He watches closely for the telltale expression of bliss to wash over your features, and within an instant, you deliver it to him on a silver platter.

Gojo can’t help but groan when he feels you clamp down with a mighty force, squeezing him for all he’s worth and trembling as you do so. It feels so delightful that he can’t even grin or be witty about it, instead reduced to nothing more than a single-minded creature who chases his own high while fucking you through yours. He must admit that it’s a little overwhelming to the point of creating mindlessness, and if you weren’t currently seeing stars, you’d be heavily inclined to agree.

And of course he doesn’t stop driving into you even after you’ve loosened your death grip on his back and shoulders, because he isn’t feeling all that merciful and is far more desperate to reach his peak than he’d be willing to let on right now. Your pussy is sore and sensitive and on the edge of overstimulation, but you haven’t the energy nor strength to do anything but be an open hole for him to use. ‘What a shame,’ you think, ‘What a shame that I can’t do anything to make him beg for it.’ 

Because at this point, you know he would.

Saturo grabs at your breast and breathes hot and heavy against your neck, falling apart within moments of your fingers scratching at the hair on the nape of his neck. His cum suddenly warms you from the inside, spilling unapologetically deep and causing him to still after a couple of final thrusts. He swallows down a breath or two, arms wanting to wobble despite his strength. It almost gives you an ego boost. ‘My pussy’s good enough to make him collapse…’

You’d goad if you were as insufferable as he was, or if you thought you were even physically able. It would be a much-needed reminder that you’re just as capable of wearing him down as he is you, but judging by the way he ghosts gentle kisses against your lips, you feel as though he’s already somewhat caught the gist.

Rolling over to lay next to you, entirely spent, Satoru savors the sound of you both catching your breaths in progressively slower intervals. 

Then, once able, he finally speaks.

“I’ll buy dinner. Your choice.”

[002yb]

absolutely obsessed with your infertile!dickjay hcs!! but also curious about your take on a kind of opposite au: any thoughts on dickjay accidental pregnancy 👀👀

Thank you so much, anon!! You're so sweet. I've written up two accidental pregnancy scenarios below just for you~ I hope you enjoy!! (´∀｀)♡

Mistaken Infertility leading to Accidental Pregnancy 👀

Honest to goodness, they both wholeheartedly believe that children aren't in their futures. So when Jason gets pregnant he's very much alarmed because how the fuck.

Dick, too, is lost because how. Also, who?

And Jason doesn't take offense to that, given their circumstances, but he swears it's only Dick. It's only ever been -

Jason being spooked and concerned that Dick won't react to the news well. And Dick is reeling, for sure. But only because they're pregnant? Yes. They're going to have a pup? If Dick wants to.

And Dick - even if he thought he could, he would have never actively tried, but now that it's here and happening? The fact that this is a miracle aside, Dick could never not want to do this.

His smile is brilliant, devastating. They're having a pup. A litter? A pup! ANd that reaction. That pure joy gives Jason so much peace of mind and assurance; it soothes so many of the fears and stress Jason would have been battling with.

Dick taking Jason's face in his hands, squishing Jason's cheeks as he kisses him. It's little more than a peck before Dick is on his knees marveling Jason's stomach and Jason can't help the sputtered laugh as his abdomen receives a similar kiss. He's peppered with them until Jason falls to his knees too and they hug each other and it's sweet.

Proud papa!Dick telling everyone about their pup, about how Jason is going to be a mom and Dick gets to be a dad. It both embarrasses Jason and makes him all warm

Intense family of bats going feral over the news because it's Dick and Jason's pup and it's the first pup their pack will get and Bruce in particular is intense because he's gonna be a grandpa, a grandpalpha? He's happy. Hugs for his boys. Especially because he knows they were convinced they would never have the option, the choice.

Jason being genuinely happy to be having a pup with Dick, but pregnancy is a long standing fear of his so Jason is stressed; Dick is there with him though. He's terrified of being a dad - as terrified as he is thrilled. They're in this together though; they've got one another. And their pack who won't leave them alone. Just them working through insecurities together and it's lovely.

So many belly kisses. Jason gets annoyed with it because hello, he's still here too. Dick laughing but smothering Jason with affections until Jason shoves him away because ugh alphas

Refraining from the angst route but please do know that my default for Jason in these sorts of routes never fails to go tragic I'm just - o(-( the pain it hurts good

Extra Unplanned Pregnancy without the Infertility Storyline 👀

Where Dick has a no strings attached one night stand with Jason

It's literally a one-time casual encounter, one time; a quick one and done fling where they both let off steam and resolve a ridiculous amount of UST between them it's good

Contrary to popular belief, Dick isn't actually the sort to do that kind of thing. Despite any efforts, he's a traditional alpha; something he's been playfully teased about by friends

So for him to do this? He's a little proud of himself ngl.

But lbr Dick fails at casual right away because he's already thinking about doing it again. Consistently. A committed friends with benes situation where they don't see other people

Anyway, Dick is happy with how everything played out. Feels better than ever.

Relationships never end well for him, but this thing he fell into with Jason? They both left happy and no one got hurt in the end.

Little does he know 👀

And then from Jason's side:

Jason turning up on Dick's doorstep, agitated as all get out

Dick, hopeful and eager for a reprise because Jason doesn't just visit him out of the blue like this

And seriously right on the doorstep Jason just bluntly blurts out that he's pregnant. It's Dick's.

And Dick is just (ʘ‿ʘ) ???? because of course this couldn't be casual of course something like this would happen what in the goddamn omg okay this is fine but no it's not because Jason is clearly freaking out but so is Dick what do what ahhhhhhhh (internal)

Continuation to the above because Dick absolutely going through the full range of emotions from denial to acceptance; panic to excitement - all the feelings but ultimately tempering himself because Jason is very clearly going through his own thing and Dick needs to be there for him first and foremost as the baby daddy

Then it follows the usual storyline of the two of them deciding on what to do which is a rollercoaster of ups and downs and do we keep or not but what if this that and the other and they fall in love along the way and it's just a good time.

[outofcontextbokumono]

Why do we hate Allen? Not asking as a Allen Apologist, rather a guy who played ANB for 4 hours total at age 14

i love the emphasis on Allen Apologist. like this is a despicable title one should never have to bear

anyways allen is. literally just a dick

and you'd only know it if you A. married him, or B. have an abnormal fixation on the game and have scoured the internet for every line of dialogue. and he's not even like the "funny-mean characters who are rude and standoffish at first but actually care really deeply and are just severely insecure and antisocial and are really kind and dorky when they warm up to you" no allen's just a fucking asshole

he doesn't get any better when you get to know him. like hes a jerk as is but it's just in that humorous, cocky, theatrical way. if you date him it gets like objectively WORSE because he becomes SUPER possessive and creepy towards the player character for literally NO REASON???

these are only a FEW of his worst offenses. and he. Never stops doing that

now don't get me wrong. i'm not trying to say this because i want to cancel this game from 2012 for being "problematic" or whatever. like lbr it was 2012 and they obviously learned from their mistakes. i am purely saying this bc i think it is. absolutely fucking hysterical

LIKE I COULD BE UPSET ABOUT IT BUT I JUST CAN'T??? BECAUSE THIS IS A SPECIFIC CHARACTER TROPE THAT WAS EXCLUSIVE TO THIS GAME. there had NEVER been a character like allen in a bokumono game before and there has never been one since. he also has NO actual explanation for being Like That other than maybe the fact that he had a deadbeat father + grew up with only his mom and sister so i guess maybe he had to take on the role as the Man™ of the household???? girl i have no idea. i'm usually good at psychoanalyzing bokumono characters and i'm pulling at straws here.

there's also the fact that natsume is notorious for being a horrible translator and the game is chock full of errors as is, so a lot of people assumed that maybe it was a translation error. but upon further inspection it was NOT. he was literally just MEANT to be that way. and aside from it (obviously) being a product of it's time we have absolutely no idea why

[gabessquishytum]

wait okay i LOVE hob and the corinthian being chaotic dumbass housepets together!! lbr every single day when dream comes home he knows he's coming home to some kind of nonsense from them, the only question is whether they leaned further towards chaotic or horny on any given day.

and, i mean. a lot of the time? it's both. cori's new favourite hobby is railing hob until he's good and fucked out and docile and then wandering around the house to collect things he can push into hob's sloppy hole. dream likes pretty things, okay. he's been collecting pretty things for a very long time, he's got knickknacks on every horizontal surface, and there's no end of vases and candles and glass paperweight the corinthian can bring back and fuck hob with.

his absolute favorite is gathering up a collection of anything round -- dream has a set of decorative solid glass balls that cori's especially fond of -- and filling hob up until he runs out or until hob's whines turn genuinely distressed. cori always aims to work them in deep enough that hob can't push them out himself, leaving hob to squirm around and wait for dream to come home so cori can watch as dream shapes himself some long, thin vines that he can work into hob's hole. hob makes the prettiest noises when dream pulls them out -- the objects are made bigger by the vines wrapped around them and hob's hole has started to tighten back up by then, so the stretch always makes him whimper and whine.

cori gets punished for it, of course. but dream doesn't put any of his decorations away. and he seems to have taken a real liking to a few types of fruit, considering how well the fridge seems to be stocked with bags of produce that hob doesn't begin to recognize but all seem suspiciously egg-shaped.

(after the first time the corinthian did this, dream locked hob in a chastity belt when he left for work the next day. by the time he got home the corinthian had gone on such a destructive tear that dream needed to replace his couch entirely and hob looked so betrayed and dream never tried that again. he very quickly learns that while keeping hob in a cock cage is fine, blocking access to his hole(s) is decidedly not)

-🐈‍⬛

OK i am irrationally obsessed with Hob giving Dream this look of complete misery and how could you do this to me after the chastity belt incident. And Dream is like huh???? Because Hob didn't exactly seem to be having the best time, he was so full up with heavy round objects he couldnt even move! Just had to lie on the floor and wiggle pathetically while waiting for Dream to get back.

But apparently Hob was enjoying himself, actually. Dream gets the equivalent of a Ring pet camera so the next time it happens he can watch. He gets to see how Hob helpfully bends himself over with his arse up in the air, spreading his own cheeks to make it easier for Cori to stuff the objects inside. Apparently, it's a collaborative project.

The cock cage does turn out to be necessary, though, because if given access then Cori WILL attempt to stuff things in Hob’s peehole. And Dream isn't adverse to that experiment, but it's something he definitely wants to supervise. He really doesn't want to have to take Hob to the "vets" and explain why he's got a spoon in his dick.

For all the trouble they cause, Dream adores his pets. Watching them on the camera makes his work day pass so much quicker. Cori's "punishments" definitely turn into rewards quite quickly - he loves having his eyemouths fucked, even though he won't admit it. And the spanking? That just makes both of Dream’s cute pets cum <3

[littlemissvincentvega]

okay so i’m kind of freaking out because ur vegan too?? (i was creepin on ur page looools) reservoir dogs x vegan reader if you can ahhhh <33 love your work

NOOOO fellow slutty tarantino vegan ily

wow i cant believe i wrote something thank u for the idea ♥️ i hope you're keeping well gorgeous!!!!!!! :)

RESERVOIR DOGS X VEGAN!READER PREFERENCE

brown:

is actually very receptive

probably the most out of all of them lbr

asks 100 questions about why you decided to go vegan

BUT NOT IN A CONDESCENDING WAY

he's actually super interested

will watch a documentary like dominion and have a breakdown

even if it doesn't sway him (which it SHOULD!!!!!) he will never eat anything non-vegan near you ever again

lectures the other dogs about it

probably gets into an argument with pink when HE refuses to comply with the no non-vegan food near you rule

larry has to intervene

brown cries and admires you for how much you care

he probably ends up going vegan himself especially if california has a good range of food options

white:

incredibly interested in the philosophical/ethical reasons behind it and is willing to sit and listen for as long as you want to talk about it

understands too

will question it but not in a fun debatey way or a mean way. he just wants to learn more

i'm sorry but my guy is a romantic to his fucking bones and he will buy vegan cookbooks and learn to make all your favourite foods

will cook you a 3 course fancy vegan meal from scratch, candlelit dinner and vegan cheesecake for dessert

if he's in a committed relationship with you i could see him going fully vegan

blonde:

sorry honey but i dont think he'll do it ://

which is why i hate him but i love him to death

i mean come on hes a nutjob. BUT. god as my witness if you go out for food and there's nothing you can have you bet he'll get real mad on your behalf because his baby needs a nice dinner

he can admire you for caring that much

but let's face it he couldn't give a fuck about where his food comes from and if anyone suffered for it whether its an animal or a human

he wont argue with you for being vegan but he doesn't really care that you are

orange:

will, like brown, have a breakdown after seeing a documentary

but you'll have a difficult time getting him to watch one

he's a head in the sand kinda guy he doesn't wanna confront what he contributes to

i think freddy would go vegan ill be honest, we've seen how much of a softie he is in the movie are you telling me he wouldnt combust if he got to cuddle a baby pig????

buys himself a vegan leather jacket to wear instead

he'd be embarrassed to tell people about being a dirty vegan because he's scared of being thought of as less of a man

cue a lecture from brown about how that's silly and he shouldn't worry

the kind of man to really enjoy a trip to an animal sanctuary

pink:

oh no

no no no no no

nope

he's a dick

there's just nothing to explain here

will NOT have it

doesnt care, doesnt care that he doesnt care. if hes not tipping his waitress he's not bothered about animals

he has a speech prepared for any time it's brought up that makes you want to punch him

i love mr pink he's one of my favourites but my god i'm sorry about this guys

this is literally him if you convince him to try a vegan burger:

eddie:

he'll still eat non vegan stuff in front of you

but sometimes he'll order something plant based and feel really good about himself

hes a little dumb we know that

but he means the best and doesnt realise or even consider if it bothers you, not because hes a dick but because, and lets all say it together, he is STUPID

yeah he doesn't really understand it he's kinda ignorant

thinks that if everyone went vegan cows would take over the world and it would be an apocalypse

if you gave him fake meat and didn't tell him, he wouldn't tell the difference and it's kinda sweet to watch

[hekateinhell]

#vcsmuttysunday: Armand & Daniel explore the Adult Entertainment Industry in the 1970s

I think it's more or less established fanon at this point that Daniel and Armand had a fun time experimenting with what the burgeoning sex industry had to offer in the late 1970s and early '80s (I place at least half of the blame on this comic). But sex shops really started taking of in Europe and North America in the '60s, '70s, and '80s! As far as I could find, London's first 'modern' sex shop opened in 1972 — five years before Armand and Daniel moved to London and lived as a couple in the city. Manhattan - where they later went - was infamous for having a strip of pornography theaters and all kinds of XXX entertainment spots in Times Square.

Here's some of the things they might've found in the sex shops back then, the ordinary and the not-so-ordinary:

(NSFW BELOW THE CUT)

Vibra Bed

It was a vibrating device that you attached to your bed and it turned the whole thing into… a vibrator. Armand absolutely bought one (or two or three) of these and probably made Daniel hump the vibrating mattress to completion while he watched. Their neighbors hated them.

Hitachi Magic Wand

Most of us have at least heard of this one that's still a best-seller today, but 1977 was when it really took off! I think Armand would've found it somewhat of a novelty to be able to bring Daniel to orgasm without using his hands or mouth directly. The vibrations alone would do it pretty fast, especially when placed along the perineum and the head.

Speaking of finishing fast...

Strain Loops

Cock rings in general became super popular during the sexual liberation phase of the '60s and '70s (people wanted to stay hard longer during anal sex), but I'm highlighting this type in particular because I hadn't come across it before and I just saw it mentioned in reference to vintage sex toys. Imagine Armand looping that around Daniel's dick and balls before he makes that boy hump that vibrating mattress a second time.

Novelty Handcuffs

This one I'm listing simply for my sake, because I think human Daniel (and vampire Daniel lbr) would get such a kick out of literally chaining a powerful vampire like Armand to his bedpost with the kitschiest bright red handcuffs!

And now - remember what I said about adult theaters in NYC earlier? Well, here's some of the movies they could've caught (and one of the places it would've been socially acceptable for Armand to whip out Daniel's dick out in public and do things to it, which he did).

Not saying Armand didn't buy Daniel leather shorts after seeing this and made him wear them everywhere for the next two weeks, not saying he didn't.

LIVE SEX ACTS.

Imagine Armand making Daniel get on that stage and put on a performance of his own! Maybe Armand joins him, maybe he doesn't (it would be Armand's first time in the spotlight since he seduced Louis in Paris - shame that was a performance of an entirely different nature... well, perhaps not to a vampire, huh?).

Grope-rooms are once again exactly what they sound like: you went there to grope other people and get groped. Bet The Dancer joined them more than once.

Anyway, hope y'all enjoy that tiny slice of sex history and that it inspires some smutty vampire thoughts of your own!

X

[misscrawfords]

1,4,9,10,18 and 28 for the Austen asks. :)

Favorite Austen Heroine

Elizabeth Bennet. I know I'm basic but hey. I relate to her a lot (see previous post) and I just think she's so charming and clever and funny but also deeply flawed and has to do so much growing up.

4. Favorite quote from the books

I don't even know where to begin here! I love Mr. Collins' list of reasons for marrying ending with "and thirdly - which perhaps I should have mentioned earlier -" before going on to talk about Lady Catherine. I love "Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery". I love all of the catty asides about secondary characters - Miss Bingley saying what only made herself miserable, Dick Musgrove only deserving the abbreviation of his name... I love "we fainted alternately on the sofa" from Love and Freindship. More seriously, I love Henry Tilney's quote about how "no man is offended by another man's admiration of the woman he loves, it is the woman only who can cause pain" because BOOM TRUTH and it works for both genders. Also the sardonic "A lady's admiration is very rapid, it goes from admiraton to love, from love to matrimony in a moment" because, well, also true! Every line is quotable lbr. (Except that all of these are misquotes because I can't be bothered to look them up.)

9. Most hated foe of a heroine

Lucy Steele. Look, at a time in my life I sort of knew a Lucy Steele and so I really feel personally and viscerally how much her behaviour could hurt Elinor. The circumstances and personalities weren't the same but nevertheless I cannot stand the two-facedness of it and the crowing over getting the man your so-called friend wants. I hate it. I hate this behaviour so much. My own Lucy Steel kind of messed me up quite a bit so... yeah. She's a bit too close to home.

10. Most frustrating family member

Look. There are so many candidates for this. SO MANY. Every novel has a host of absolute winners for this award. I think I'm going to go with General Tilney as my number one, beating notable contenders such as Mr. Woodhouse, Mrs. Bennet, Sir Walter Elliot, Mr. Collins...

General Tilney does all the right things. But he's rotten to the core. You spend time with him and you hate it and you feel uncomfortable but you can't put your finger on why. As his children, you watch as all your friends arrive at your house ready for fun and leave depleted and they don't know why but they're a bit less eager to visit you the next time and it's really odd because they love you so much... General Tilney does nothng wrong socially. But he also does everything wrong. It must have been hell being his child. He's going to be such an exhausting father-in-law and you can't even pick on a particular thing to complain about.

18. Moment that made you smile/happy while reading

So many! But I'll go back to my earliest experiences of reading Pride and Prejudice as an 8 year old. I adored Mr. Collins' proposal and Lady Catherine's confrontation with Elizabeth. They made me laugh so much. I just loved the drama and the silliness.

28. Favorite character backstory or secret

It's got to be Frank and Jane. There's an entire extra novel there about what actually went on in Weymouth. Brilliant stuff and their eventual happiness so uncertain...

But a solid second prize has to go to Eleanor Tilney and Viscount Laundry List. Bless them!

Austen Asks

[zumpietoo]

I Always LOVE It....

when the BB decides to troll, just as I'm musing on a "should or shouldn't I go there?" post.....and, honestly, I was fully about to post the pic I was just sent, on its own....buuuutt....here's what I was mulling over (both content and to push or not to push?)....

Soo....Paris (and recently leaked private, candid pics, too).....now confirmed some already painfully obvious shit:

Cole is just fine

Cari is amazingly fine

Cole's career is just fine

Nobody GAF (or ever did) if Ari is an evvvolll, lowly "catalog model"

PP's career is just fine on its D-list/Hallmark Movie/never gonna approach anything again level (which, hey, she'll make a few $$$---that she'll spend on drugs/her cult----and she'll be fine, but there's no "high powered girlboss" anywhere, ever....and that ship has sailed/she's never bothered to catch it and simply continuing to insist it, doesn't mean dick)

This absolutely refutes every last theory the BB tries to push

It infuriates them on every conceivable last level....

Annndd.....the other part I absolutely LOVE here....one of the myths they recently tried to push (in the endless "I'm rubber/you're glue" arsenal they seem to have) was that Cabana Pee always look so happy, intimate, loving and close----while Cari look distant, are for the cameras, etc....oh and Cole always seemed so much happier with PP....

Nooow....where to start?

We've now seen (again) that ALMOST A YEAR TOGETHER!!! (which is also heelarious, since they're still, as we just saw, insisting Cari are fake/pee arr, THREE+++ years and counting and I shall make a smaller (maybe) side post on the whole A WHOLE YEAR!!! later).....the only time Cabana Pee look remotely "close/intimate" is when there are known cameras present, compliments of the paps having been called....

Otherwise? They look like a pair of verrryyyy awkward 7 year olds, with zerrooooo chemistry. And, LBR, they aren't together terribly often, unless it's for cameras and that's for a pair of attention whores, endlessly desperate for attention....

Cari? We see, all the fucking time, all kinds of sweet intimacies and are verryyy affectionate....now granted, Cole's a physical, affectionate guy, anyway (he'd be the first to say so), buuut.....AND....again, it's been over three years, they've never broken up/are together entirely because they choose to be/their relationship has steadily increased in commitment/they're very much part of one another's families/etc..

Soo....what does this translate to?

Cole's interviewed he's been in love three times, but also detailed (briefly) how verrryyyy different things are with Ari (and had been since moment ONE)....it becomes increasing obvious, she's the only girl he everrrr truly loved...

PP? Proximity created a lot of it....if they weren't on a show that threw them together (and their chemistry turned them into the couple that saved the show) all the time? Would've fizzled out pretty quickly.

Cole likes having sex, was lonely stuck up there and I have zero doubts PP being a neurotic mess was able to really play into all his issues with his mommeee and his tendency to be a bit of a fixer....

I now, do, truly wonder just how many times they broke up and just how often that was about PP's compulsion to fuck around....to the point of Cole routinely having to rearrange his plans, just to go babysit her fucked up ass.....

Similarly, Breetch? Well, first off, BF was all of like 20 years (oh and, yes, I'd give both Breetch and Peepster passes there, too....except they're the ones who turned it all toxic, repeatedly) and, again, she was a needy hot mess, the entire thing was a mistake....and while, yes, he chose to be with her, they were also dumb and it's been made apparent she knew perfectly how to push his buttons (again, a lot like his mommeee....)...

And both are still bitter, purely over something having not worked out...which, seriously? Pretty fuckin' standard.

[writingsnippetsthatneverupdate]

Gift for: Sabs from the Maribat? Get In! server It's a... fic outline! Ta-da!

Fic Plot:

Marinette and the Miracuclass are in the USA for high school, not France, because fuck France’s schooling system

Dick transfers to Marinette’s school

Marinette sees Dick as her rival

Cue little shenanigans as Dick flirts with Mari and Mari huffs and brushes him off

Then, Mari and Dick are paired together for a group project and Chloé dunks on them

Mari decides that she and Dick are going to make the BEST PROJECT EVER

They do! And they become friends in the meantime

Dick is desperately trying to invite Mari on dates and she is just NOT picking up what he’s putting down

They’re friends, montage montage etc., end on a fluffy note! <3

Epilogue in which Mari realizes when Dick asked for a kiss that one time he WAS NOT JOKING

The end!

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s characterization:

High school student

Around perhaps 14 - 15 years old

Thinks of herself as having 2 unique traits:

Fashion (art)

Flexibility

Prides herself most on flexibility

Otherwise thinks of herself as plain, shy, boring, not very interesting

She’s ~insecure~

Easily angered/frustrated and tends to jump to conclusions / make decisions without actually talking to anyone, just arguing with them in her mind

Origin of flexibility:

Took ballet classes as a kid

Has severe stage fright but wanted to perform

Decided to perform in a mask as Ladybug

Is very good!!

Note: ballet requires SO MUCH strength & effort & concentration; basically on-par with vigilante-ing lbr

(???) Maybe also does parkour?

Dick Grayson’s characterization:

High school student as well

Around perhaps 14 - 15 years old as well

Impish, a little shit, sunshine ball of energy with a whip-sharp tongue

Generally just takes things in stride, good at improvising

Falls in love VERY quickly, falls out of love equally quickly unless the person’s special

Pretty confident in himself!

Isn’t flustered around Marinette, just thinks of her as cute, especially when she’s flushing / looks sort of angry at him

He’s a little sad that she’s always mad at him for no reason that he can really discern, but he brushes it off

Currently is Robin, patrolling with Bruce as Batman

No Jason yet

Going to be pulling a LOT from Young Justice characterization (so not asterous, etc.)

Very kind once you get past all the layers of Absolute Little Shit

Opening scene:

It’s gym class

Everyone’s in the gym in their gym uniforms

Marinette POV

Internally monologuing

Absently notes that Dick is kinda cute

Once it’s her turn, she does her flexibility thing

Checks to see if Dick noticed

He looks mildly impressed but mostly just meh, in comparison to the class going :O WOAH

Mari is :T pouting because that’s her thing!! Cute boy didn’t notice her doing HER THING!!! >:(

Then it’s Dick’s turn and he’s 100% showing off for the cute girl and she just pouts HARDER because no!!! He STOLE her THING!! He TRICKED her with his cuteness, how dare he!! He’s outshining her in her “only” interesting aspect

Immediately Marinette decides that he’s an enemy and it’s on-sight forever after

Cut to little montage of Mari being mad at Dick:

But since she’s pretty shy, that just amounts to huffing at him, disliking the people who associate with him, glaring at him from across the room, and flushing/sputtering when he turns that ~~charming~~ annoying grin her way

Mari & Dick becoming friends

Then, in art class, they get assigned to make a jack-o-lantern together, and the really good ones will get extra credit

Chloe says she’ll just make it professionally, hire someone to do it

Mari is in KILL mode, puts aside her rivalry with Dick to fuck over Chloé

They go pumpkin picking together!!

Their jack o lantern wins!

Dick subtly trying to hint he wants to date Mari, hint going ALL the way over her head

Dick says that as a favor Mari has to go through the haunted maze with him (he’d take B, but B would make it boring, or make it into training, but a cute girl… :eyes:) and give him a kiss

Mari scoffs, brushes off kiss part (she’s too plain he’s OBVIOUSLY joking)

And then! Spooky scary skeletons startle Mari in the maze! Mari is genuinely frightened but Dick isn’t, given Gotham ™. then Dick starts singing the song and they both start laughing

Mari & Dick becoming close friends!

Whenever they see each other after that one of them inevitably ends up humming spooky scary skeletons and they both end up laughing

Cue montage again, where they’re friends now! (Teachers make them move their seats, jokes about dating that fluster them both a little bit TOO much, maybe a shout out to some other miracuclass/batfamily characters)

No, it’s OUR thing

Mari and Dick are friends now, Mari self-deprecates herself, Dick is like hey, no way!!! Mari mentions flexibility thing, and Dick says ‘no no i was a circus kid, you’re the closest i’ve gotten to competition in AGES’, cue Mari going ‘hm, i guess flexibility could be OUR thing?’ and Dick nearly dying of the cuteness

Epilogue

They’re dating, Dick’s like ‘other than stealing the flexiblity thing, why did you stammer/flush all the time? Usually when you’re mad you get all articulate’

Mari: oh it was bc you were cute

Dick: :pleading: for real??? 🥺

Mari: ugh you’re SUCH a dork (yes, for real)

Dick: i KNEW it!! but why didn’t you kiss me after the maze when i saved you? 🥺

Mari: … you were SERIOUS???

Dick: my god you’re so oblivious how tf did i forget about that (yes i was serious)