#because ive been waiting two hours and heard nothing else after being told to put a pause on the idea

[termytheantisocialbutterfly]

Did my makeup all nice only for my ride to not be able to take me to work lol

[nicolesangel]

nothing safe is worth the drive

pairing: wanda maximoff/reader

summary: you and wanda both get hurt on missions, just for completely different reasons. what happens when your anxiety for losing each other finally comes to a peak?

words: 2k

author’s note: very loosely based off of "treacherous" by taylor swift. specifically the lyrics "this hope is treacherous, this daydream is dangerous" and "nothing safe is worth the drive and i will follow you, follow you home". i absolutely did not do a thorough edit of this so please tell me if there is anything wrong! enjoy :-)

click here to read on ao3 or read below!

The compound was quiet today.

You lay in the medbay, an IV line in your arm, your closest friend, Wanda, sitting next to you. She had been next to you all night, waiting for you to wake up, but she’ll never tell you that.

The mission was going so well until the very end. You were supposed to find the weapons and secure them and then get out. There wasn’t supposed to be someone waiting for you at the exit; your path was supposed to be cleared by Natasha. You got out with only a few broken ribs and a concussion, fairly lucky, but when you got back to the jet, you blacked out.

When you finally awoke this morning, Wanda’s eyes were shining with relief. She squeezed your hand before letting go so you could readjust yourself. She handed you a glass of water silently; you gave a small smile back before taking a sip.

“Is everyone else okay?” Your voice was rough as you spoke your first words.

“Yeah,” Wanda sighed. “Actually, there was an emergency call. Everyone else has already headed out. i just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left.”

You panicked momentarily and sat up straighter. “Okay, give me ten and I’ll be ready to go.”

“Y/N, seriously? You aren’t going anywhere. Even if the doctors had okayed you, Tony has you suspended from missions for two weeks until you heal.”

“I just—“ you pause, groaning in pain as you shift your body toward Wanda. You now realize the room is almost completely dark, light just spilling in from the hallway. You sigh, “Fine. But please, Wanda, be extra careful. They can’t afford to lose you too.”

I can’t afford to lose you, you think.

“I promise, Y/N/N. Everything will be okay.” she squeezes your hand one last time before leaving.

You are left alone with with the dark and your racing mind. You can’t lose Wanda. She doesn’t know how much she means to you. Maybe you don’t even realize it yourself until now. You love her.

——

Everything did not end up okay. Despite her promise to you, Wanda ended up in the hospital bed beside yours. But, at least, she was conscious.

Your mind is racing with concern, sadness, anger (and love). You don’t even realize you’re staring at Wanda until she shoots you a glare, a bandage covering a huge gash on her forehead. “Your thoughts are loud. I appreciate your concern, but please, just turn your mind off and let me rest.”

You don’t even get a word in before Wanda is asleep. You lay on your back and stare up at the dim fluorescent lights. Your eyes are burning, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks. You want to sit next to Wanda and be there for her when she wakes up the way she had done for you.

Your body is aching, but you don’t know if it’s from the longing or the broken ribs. But despite your fighting, you also fall asleep.

When you wake up, the room is just as dark as it had been earlier. You have no idea what time it is, but it feels like no time has passed at all. You hear rustling sheets from next to you and notice that Wanda is awake, laying on her side, head propped up by her hand, staring directly at you with a small smile (or grimace, if you looked close enough, from the pain).

“Morning sleepyhead,” she whispers.

You turn yourself to face her, as much as you can without facing excruciating pain, and give her a gentle smile back. But your smile fades as quick as it came. “Wanda…”

Her expression immediately shifts to worry, her brows furrowing as she looks you up and down. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

“No,” you sigh, trying not to let your anxiety overwhelm you. You begin frantically whispering, “I was so scared Wanda. You told me you would be extra careful and yet, here you are in the same condition as me.”

“Y/N…”

“I could have lost you for good…” you mutter under your breath.

“Why would you think that? You know I can handle myself and it would never go that far.”

“I—“ you pause to swallow down a sob as tears begin finally slipping from your eyes. You almost let those three words escape your lips, but you couldn’t do that. Not now. Not when Wanda, and you, were injured and emotional and clearly frustrated with each other. “I just want you to be safe. That’s all.”

“No,” she growls, and you flinch. “It’s something more than that. I know you care, but please give up the act Y/N. What is this really about?”

You end up back how you started this conversation; eyes up at the ceiling, lying on your back. “It can wait, Wanda. Neither of us are in the condition to be fighting or crying or — whatever.”

“Fine,” she whispers, mirroring your position. “Just know, I feel the same way.”

——

When you wake up the next morning, you are discharged from the medbay and were ordered another week in bed to heal the concussion. You wanted to ask Wanda what she meant — what did she feel the same way about? — but she was still passed out when the nurse came to wheel you back to your room. It would have to wait.

The next week went by excruciatingly slow. The only human interaction you had was with the nurses that brought you food and medicine. And Natasha that one day.

She brought you dinner on your fourth day. You asked her to stay for a bit; you needed company after being (and feeling) alone for a while. She complied, sitting down beside you on the bed, stealing a bite of your food, gaining a glare from you.

“Nat,” you said quietly, testing out your voice after hours of silence, “what was the emergency that day? No one has told me…”

“We must have missed some of the weapons because we caught trucks moving grenades and dynamite from the same unit. But everything went as planned.”

You looked up at her with confusion. “But, if everything went well, then how did…”

Natasha rolled her eyes, a smirk crossing her lips. “She got that cut fighting for you.”

What does that mean? you thought. Confusion swept your mind. “Nat, what—“

“She found the guy who hurt you. Cursed him out. He punched her. Hard. She threw him around a bit before sending him our way.”

“Why would she do that? I told her to be careful.” You couldn’t believe what you heard. You couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or pissed.

“You know her. You should have known she wasn’t going to listen. She cares too much to let something like that go.” Natasha patted your hand before she walked toward the door.

Just as she reached the door, she paused and looked back at you. Tears are beginning to form again in your eyes. “You should tell her, you know.”

“What?” You locked eyes with Natasha.

“That you love her.”

Natasha was gone before you could respond. How did she know? Was it that obvious? you thought, your mind scrambling for a coherent thought. And did Natasha know something you didn’t? She did say that Wanda cared about you “too much”, but what does that—

Is that what Wanda was talking about when she said she felt the same way? Did she already know? There’s no way. How could she possibly know you love her when you only just realized it yourself?

It is now your first day off of bedrest and you take time to reacclimate yourself to the compound alone. You’re given smiles and nods and “I’m glad you’re okay!”s as you walk around. You weren’t expecting company when you returned to your room.

Wanda was wrapped up in a blanket on your bed, a book in her hands. As soon as she heard your footsteps entering the room, she put the book down and looked up at you with a shy, apologetic smile. “Hey,” she breathed out. “Can we talk?”

“I mean it doesn’t look like I have much of a choice, does it?” You slide into your bed beside Wanda. She offers you some of her blanket and you take it, ending up shoulder to shoulder with her.

Wanda looks over at you, empathy emitting from her emerald eyes. “I’m sorry I snapped at you the other day. I just— I hate to see you hurting and my emotions got the best of me and—“

“Natasha told me how you got hurt.”

Wanda sighs. “Of course she did.”

“Listen, Wand, you didn’t have to do that. I was fine! Really, you didn’t have to—“

“Yes I did!” You’re cut off abruptly by Wanda’s exasperation. Her eyes are sparkling with tears as she takes your hand in her own. “I did have to. Because I couldn’t handle seeing you so hurt and him getting away with hardly a scrape. I care too much about you.”

“But why did you put yourself in so much danger when I specifically asked you to be careful?” Your voice is elevated and now tears are slipping down both of your faces.

“Because I love you!”

The room fills with silence as you stare at each other, your mouth slightly agape as you squeeze Wanda’s hand.

You whisper, “you love me?”

Wanda gives you a sad smile. “I love you. So much it hurts. And it’s so scary how much I love you because what happens if I lose you? Even if you don’t love me in the way I love you, I am so scared that one day you’ll get hurt and I’ll lose you. I just—“

You cup Wanda’s cheek with your free hand. “I do love you in the way you love me. I really, really do.”

You lock eyes with each other before Wanda begins slowly leaning in. Her eyes flicker down at your lips before you close your own and connect your lips with hers. You’ve never been so happy or scared, but your heart is buzzing.

You separate before taking both of her hands in your own and placing them in your lap. You stare down at your intertwined fingers before speaking.

“I love you, but I’m so scared too. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you either.” You look up at Wanda before giving a timid smile. “But I want to do this with you. You’re my home. No matter how dangerous or scary it may be, I want to love you.”

“I have hope, you know.” Wanda takes one of her hands to push a piece of your hair behind your ear and lets it linger. “I know we are constantly putting ourselves in danger. It’s literally our job. But loving you is worth the risk. It’s worth the pain we will experience and the anxiety and anger because in the end of it all, it will always lead back to you. No matter what. You’re my home too.”

You lean in and kiss her again before wrapping yourself around her. She wraps her arms around your waist, holding on as if she would never let go.

“Are we really going to do this?” you whisper.

“There’s no way we aren’t doing this. Loving you is worth the risk of losing you.”

You separate enough to see Wanda’s face, her arms still around your waist, yours still resting around her shoulders, your foreheads resting against each other.

“God, I love you so much it hurts.”

“I love you just the same.”

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of Med: Season 1: Glad I Didn’t Make it that Far (A Halstead brothers + Halstead sister! imagine)

Trigger warning: Talk of eating disorders

As always, I do not own any quotes from Chicago Med 1x04 that show up here!

Your age: 14

Jay's age: 28

Will's age: 30

"We should go to a movie," your best friend Emma suggested when you were sitting on the playground of Central Chicago's elementary school one summer day.

You had been coming here since it was pretty close to your house to be able to read without worrying that your dad would show up drunk. He wasn't violent, he was just rude, asking why there was no food and when you explained it was because he wasn't going shopping, he'd scoff and tell you to get a job if you wanted to eat. It wasn't your fault; you'd tried to get a job, but no one would hire you because you were only fourteen. Most places required that you be at least sixteen and the occasional place would let you start at fifteen, but only with very limited hours. And, the places that let you start at fifteen were too far away for you to walk to. You'd have to take the El...and that would turn out badly if Will and Jay found out, even though your dad wouldn't care in the slightest.

"Em, I don't have any money. I'm literally rationing out my feminine products at this point."

"Hey, just tell me if you need any. Me or my mom can get you some. Oh, and some neighbors of mine run a little kettle corn company. They're looking for some extra help on the weekends and they'll pay you under the table. I can give you their number if you want."

"Really?" Emma smiled and nodded. "Yes, please! And, you're the best."

But, what you didn't tell her was that you hadn't eaten since yesterday since there was barely anything in your house and that your cramps were killing you and because of all this, you were feeling nauseous.

"Let's go to the movies. My treat."

"I can't let you pay for me."

"Yes, you can. Best friends help each other out. Now c'mon, let's go." You sighed and closed your eyes as you stood up. "You good?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just dizzy."

"You wanna go home?"

"No, no I'm fine. Just seasonal allergies from all the pollen," you lied.

"Okay, let's go."

You started to slow down as you got closer to the movie theater. "I'm so excited to see The Longest Ride!" Emma squealed. "Scott Eastwood is just mwah!"

"Yeah, but he's- he's a lot-- I gotta, I gotta sit down," you stuttered, starting to feel more lightheaded and seeing your vision become blurry at the edges.

"Okay, let's get to the front where you can sit on the curb."

You slowly started to make your way there, but it was too late. "Em- Emma," you slurred as you tried to reach for her as your legs gave out underneath you, and then everything went black.

"Y/N!" Emma yelled as she squatted down next to you and pulled out her phone.

Just then, everyone started running out of the theater shouting something about a shooting.

***

Will's pager went off as he was eating with Natalie and the rest of the team from a taco truck outside of Chicago Med. And, everyone else's pagers were going off, too, making it sound like alarm clocks that were all set for the same time. Then, Maggie ran outside.

"Shooting in a movie theater! Mass casualties! It's about to get crazy!" she yelled to the doctors and other nurses. "EMTs are four minutes out!"

Not even a second after she finished her sentence, an ambulance pulled up with lights flashing and sirens blaring.

"Check that!" Will yelled as he threw his food in the trash can. "They're here!"

Then, all of them sprinted into the hospital, their main focus now being saving as many lives as possible.

"Another maniac gone crazy in a theater," Will said as he put something over his scrubs to keep them from getting blood all over them. "Is this the world we live in?"

***

You slowly opened your eyes to be met with the white ceiling and an IV in your arm. You groaned. "Where am I?" you asked as you rolled over to see Emma sitting on a bench. "Are we in an ambulance?"

"You don't remember?" Emma asked.

"You passed out, sweetie," a female paramedic told you as she put a blood pressure cuff around your arm. "Luckily for you, we came pretty quick after hearing about the shooting."

"The shooting? There was a shooting?"

"In the movie theater," the paramedic answered you. "You were lucky you didn't go in."

"Guess so."

Your eyes widened as you realized they were probably taking you to Chicago Med. You couldn't let your brother know that the most likely reason for you passing out was that you hadn't eaten since yesterday. They'd freak out.

"Am I good to go when we get to the hospital? I feel fine." You were still nauseous, but that was better than being passed out.

"You passed out, we need to get you checked out at the hospital."

"But I feel fine," you protested.

"I understand that, sweetie. But you need to get checked out anyway to make sure that there wasn't something that made you pass out other than the heat."

"She's right, Y/N," Emma said. "You need to get checked out."

You huffed. "Fine." Maybe Will would be too busy to even notice you were there. And, you figured your dad wouldn't pick up his phone, so you could just sneak out undetected when the doctors and nurses weren't watching.

When you got in, you were met by Natalie. "Y/N?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"It's nothing. I just passed out. I'm fine, really."

"Shoot," Emma said. "My mom's here to pick me up. Said she doesn't want me here because of all the press since I'm not hurt. I'm sorry."

You waved your hand. "It's fine. Hopefully, I'll be getting out here soon, too. See you later."

"Bye, Y/N."

"If you passed out, you're not fine, Y/N," Natalie said.

As you were wheeled past a trauma room, you saw your brother. Luckily for you, he was too focused on his patient that he didn't notice.

"Want me to get Will?" Natalie asked when she saw you glance in there.

"No! I mean, he looks really busy and I'm not dying. They should be the first priority."

"Okay, well I'll have Maggie call your dad because after all the standard tests, if I need to do more, I'm going to need your dad's permission since you're still a minor."

"Okay."

"Hey, Maggie," Natalie called, "Do me a favor and call Y/N's dad for me. I just might need permission to run some additional tests."

"You got it."

You got on the bed in the treatment room and allowed Natalie to listen to your heart and lungs. "Were you part of the crush?" she asked. "Did you get the wind knocked out of you? Is that why you passed out?"

"No, I got dizzy before we could get inside. I felt nauseous, too, but I think that was just from period cramps."

"The paramedics said you were dehydrated and that they had to administer an IV. Have you been eating and drinking properly? I know it's hot and that can cause you to pass out. Other than that factor, have you been eating and drinking normally?"

"Yes," you lied.

"Okay, I'm just going to need to get your height and weight and other vitals before we continue."

You nodded and followed her to where she took your height and weight. She wrote it down and you started to walk out, but she stopped you. "Uh, Y/N, come with me."

You followed her to the doctor's lounge where she handed you her sweatshirt. "Why are you giving me this?"

"You bled through your shorts. There's free pads and tampons in the bathroom if you don't have any on you."

You nodded. "Thank you."

"Meet me back here once you're finished."

"Okay."

When you got into the bathroom, you took all the pads and tampons you could fit in your shorts pockets after you had finished changing your dirty one.

Now, it was time for your great escape. No one would see you; they were all too busy treating other patients and worrying about the press.

You were almost out into the waiting room, but then a voice stopped you.

"Y/N?"

Shit. Jay.

You stopped in your tracks but then continued walking.

"Y/N, I know you heard me. Come back."

You sighed and turned around, hoping you wouldn't have to spill all the secrets about what's been happening at home.

***

"Poor guy," Erin said as she and Jay exited Sharon Goodwin's office. "He thought what he was going was right."

"I probably would've done the same thing if I were in his shoes," Jay agreed. "I mean, if I thought I saw a guy with an AR-15 in a movie theater and then thought the shots from the movie were coming from the gun, I sure as hell would've acted. Not that my service weapon can shoot bullets off as much as my sniper, but I'd try. Try and save civilians."

"Jay." Erin placed a hand on his arm. "You're not in Afghanistan anymore."

"I know. There's just some sick and twisted people in this world. Why would someone go into a theater with a leaf blower anyway? With all the mass shootings that have happened, that's probably the stupidest idea I've heard."

"I agree with you. But he's just a kid. He didn't ask to get shot. But, if I were in that teacher's shoes, I'd probably do the same thing and draw my gun."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he saw someone walking towards the exit of the ED and towards the waiting room. She had shorts and a t-shirt on with a burgundy sweatshirt tied around her waist. Jay wouldn't have given it a second thought, but he knew you had the same gray beat-up Converse because he had gotten them for you for a birthday present two years ago and you always wore the same polka dot scrunchie when you needed your hair to be in a bun and needed it to be tight.

"Is that?..." Erin trailed off.

"I think so," Jay answered, quickening his pace to catch up with you before you got out of the ED and he lost sight of you due to the number of people in the waiting room. "Y/N!" he yelled.

The girl he thought was you froze for a split second and then continued walking, this time at a faster pace. That was all the confirmation he needed. "Y/N, I know you heard me. Come back."

You sighed and turned around.

"I was going to tell you," you mumbled once you were in front of him.

He scoffed and crossed his arms across his chest. "Yeah? And when were you planning on calling Dad? You know you're a minor so a parent needs to be notified."

"Y/N!" Natalie yelled. "I thought you left, I was so close to getting security to look for you. We couldn't get a hold of your dad and were going to call Jay since he's your secondary emergency contact, but he's here now, so if both of you could follow me then that'd be great."

"You got it from here, Erin?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, text me if you need me to pick you up and bring you back to the district."

"Will do. Don't let Voight bust my balls because I skipped out."

"I'll tell him Y/N had a medical emergency. He'll understand."

"Thanks."

You, Natalie, and Jay walked back into the treatment room where Natalie had been previously treating you.

"First of all, let me just say it was not a medical emergency," you told your brother.

"Oh yeah? Then why are you here?" he asked.

"I was feeling nauseous."

"And you came to the ED just because of some nausea?" He raised an eyebrow. He so knew you were lying.

Meanwhile, Will was walking out of a trauma room after Rhodes brought a victim up to surgery.

"Hey. You hear?" Reese asked as she walked up to the doctor. "The kid at the theater, the one who got shot, he didn't have a gun, he had a leaf blower."

"What?" Will asked, stunned. He had worked on that kid and knew that it wasn't good.

"Yeah, turns out it was some kind of prank." She was about to turn around to leave, but then stopped. "Oh, and your sister's here. Treatment one."

"What? Why?"

"I think she passed out or something. Dr. Manning's in there with her right now."

"Thanks, Reese."

Will barged into your treatment room. "So, she comes into the ED and nobody has the common decency to even notify me?" he asked rhetorically.

"You were busy treating other patients, Will. I was going to get around to it eventually," Natalie said.

"Natalie, please just finish explaining what happened. Or just start from the beginning because Will's here now," Jay suggested, not wanting to have to break up an argument between the two doctors.

Now it was Will who was the one who crossed his arms over his chest.

"So, Will, what happened was that Y/N passed out. She was almost inside the movie theater, but she passed out, so she didn't go in."

"The movie theater where the shooting happened?" Jay asked. You nodded. "Jesus, kid, if you would've gotten inside, you would've given both me and Will heart attacks."

"Sorry. But, I'm glad I didn't get that far."

"Yeah, us too," Will agreed. "So, why'd she pass out?"

"Can I talk to you two for a minute? Outside?"

They nodded. "Be right back," Jay told you.

"So, what's going on?" Jay asked once the three were safely outside of the room and out of earshot from you.

"Have you noticed anything strange with her eating habits lately? Any skipping meals? Going to the bathroom right after meals? Not wanting to eat?" Natalie asked the two brothers.

"No, nothing," Jay answered. "Granted, we don't eat with her a lot because she lives with our dad and we both live on our own."

"Okay, because since her physical check-up a month and a half ago, Y/N's lost fifteen pounds."

"Fifteen?" Will asked, flabbergasted.

"I thought she looked smaller, but I just thought I was hallucinating from lack of sleep because of all the crazy cases we've had," Jay said.

"No, she's lost fifteen pounds since her last check-up," Dr. Manning reiterated.

"So, what are you saying?" Will asked. "Our sister's anorexic? Bulimic?"

"I'm not saying any of those yet. But, I talked to Dr. Charles while Y/N was in the bathroom and she said to try and have her eat something, like the greasiest thing you can find in the cafeteria, and see what she does. We'll even leave the room after to chat and I'll have Maggie keep an eye on the bathrooms to see if she goes in there. If she refuses to eat or freaks out over it, then we might be dealing with anorexia. If she goes into the bathroom after, we might be dealing with bulimia. Or, it could be a combination of the two or just possibly her trying to lose weight. Has she ever mentioned wanting to lose weight to either of you?"

"No, not all," Jay answered. "Even when we went out after her last day of school, which I think was about two weeks after she had that physical, she ate a ton and she didn't go to the bathroom right after."

"But you did go home right after," Will pointed out.

"Yeah."

"But, with some bulimics, if they know that the food has already been digested, they won't try to purge. And, it sounds like the food had time to digest."

"Alright, I'll go grab her a bacon cheeseburger."

"And a side of mac n cheese," Jay suggested. "She loves that stuff." Will started to walk out, but Jay stopped him once more. "Can you pick me up a bacon cheeseburger, too? I'm hungry."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but just so you know, you're paying me back."

"I know," Jay said and then went back inside the treatment room.

"Where's Will?" you asked.

"He's getting you some food. How does a bacon cheeseburger and mac n cheese sound?"

God, your mouth watered just at the thought of the bacon cheeseburger alone. The juicy patty, melty cheese, and crispy bacon, yum. And, you hadn't had a burger in who knows how long.

"That sounds amazing honestly," you answered.

"Okay, good because that's what Will's getting you." He paused. "Is everything okay with Dad? Everything good at home?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," you lied.

"Did someone tell you that you were fat at all?"

Shit, he knew I'd lost weight. "No," you answered. "I guess I'm not just mindlessly snacking when I'm doing homework anymore. It's not like I'm trying to lose weight."

No way were you going to tell him that there was rarely any food in the house, not here anyway.

"Okay, good," Jay answered. Then, he looked out of the room to see Will talking with Natalie. But, they were close enough that you could hear them, so you turned your attention to the two as well.

"Hey, Nat," Will said, carrying a bag with three cheeseburgers and a side of mac n cheese.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I'm thinking, I only live a mile from you. So, when you go into labor, call me. I'll drive you here."

"Thanks, but...you know it could be three in the morning, right?"

"Sleep's overrated anyway."

Then, Will made his way back into your treatment room. "I wanna take you to the hospital," Jay mocked. "Very smooth, Will, very smooth."

"Will's got a crush, Will's got a crush," you said in a sing-song voice.

"Would you two knuckleheads keep it down? And no, I do not have a crush, I was just trying to be helpful."

Jay scoffed. "Yeah right. You totally have a crush on her, man. Now, give us the food and we won't say anything."

***

"Everything seem normal?" Natalie asked Will as Jay was still sitting with you after the three of you had finished your food.

"Yeah, she ate a little faster than normal, but we waited an hour and she didn't even get up to go to the bathroom, so I don't think that's the issue. She told Jay she wasn't trying to lose weight. She said she just wasn't mindlessly eating anymore when she was doing homework. But, I don't think that could make her lose fifteen pounds. Do you?"

"No. But unfortunately, given her height and age, she still has a normal BMI, so we can't do anything."

"Yeah, I get it. Me and Jay will keep an eye on her. It was around this time when our dad just kind of checked out on parenting us."

"What do you mean?"

"He wouldn't cook or really help us with anything. But, it was okay because our Mom was still around, so she'd cook and help us with things. He just thought we were old enough to deal with stuff on our own."

"Things that a teenager without another parent still needs help with."

"Exactly."

Jay poked his head out of the room. "Everything good? Y/N's asking when she can leave."

Will rolled his eyes. "Wonder where she gets that from."

"Shut up."

"I'll grab you the discharge papers," Natalie said and then walked to a nurse's station.

Just then, Will's pager went off. "I gotta go." He fished into the pocket of his scrubs. "You can take my car home and then just come pick me up from work and we can drive back to the district to get your truck. That way you don't have to bug Erin."

"Thanks, man. Go save some lives."

Natalie came back and handed him the discharge papers.

"Thanks, Nat. Me and Will will be sure to keep an eye on her, maybe have her over for dinner once or twice a week to monitor her eating habits."

"That's a good idea. Good luck with all this. Will told me that this was around the time that your dad clocked out on you, so maybe pay him a visit when Y/N's not there and check? I don't know if that's something you'd want to do or not."

Jay nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

"No problem."

Jay signed the discharge papers and then walked back into the room. "Good news."

"We can leave?" you asked excitedly as you sat up.

"We can leave," he confirmed.

***

You got out of the car and stood on the stoop of your house, Jay right next to you. "Jay," you started, "I have to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it? You can tell me anything."

You opened your mouth to tell him that there was barely any food in the house and that your dad refused to buy you feminine hygiene products because, by his logic, if he had another son, he wouldn't need to buy them, so you should buy them yourself.

But then, the door opened, revealing your dad.

"I was just going to say thanks for staying with me at the hospital. I would've left if you didn't stop me."

"You're welcome."

"Care to tell me where you've been?" your dad asked.

You knew he was just putting on a show because Jay was there.

"I was at the park and then me and Emma were going to see a movie and then--" your phone buzzed, alerting you that you had a text message.

"I've got it from here, Y/N. Dad, can I come inside?"

Pat Halstead nodded and you walked inside followed by your brother. "I'm gonna go upstairs and change," you said.

As you walked past the kitchen, you noticed a bunch of grocery bags, all of them full. He must've gone grocery shopping. At least you didn't have to worry about food for the next few days. But, you didn't know if he just did that because he finally listened to his voice mails and heard that you were in the hospital and were worried that they were going to find out that he was an unfit parent or because he finally came to his senses and realized that he was still responsible for you because you were a minor, which meant he needed to have food in the house.

As you walked upstairs, you checked your phone. It was Emma's neighbor asking if you could start helping her with kettle corn this Saturday. You responded with a yes because now, if your dad went back to not buying groceries, at least you'd be able to buy some for yourself.

A/N: Sorry this one was so short! It's kind of just to foreshadow the next installment of this. And, in the next installment, I will probably combine Seasons of PD: Season 4 and Seasons of Med: Season 2 because the storylines kind of go together. Anyway, thank you for reading! Please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to the taglist, just tell me and I’ll be happy to add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e 

[maraudereestauderelb]

Touched

A Duff McKagan smut One Shot

Prompt: You go to a concert with one of your friends and band mates, who's having a thing with no other than the band's guitarist Slash. After the show you get to meet Duff McKagen and somehow end up having your first time with him.

MASTERLIST

Warning: sex (duh)

"They're good aren't they?", Y/F/N shouted over the loud music. "Amazing!" "Told ya!"

We were dancing along to the loud music and enjoying ourselves. It had taken her quite some time to convince me to come with her instead of heading for the Troubadour with our other two band mates. Apparently coming with my bassist had been the right choice though.

After a world tour, a successful album and quite a bit more money in my bank account than before we had left LA, I still felt more at home right here. In a rundown club on the strip with a still upcoming rock band on stage.

Y/F/N and I had fit in perfectly. Nobody would recognize just the two of us having a great time and getting drunk. Except maybe the group of aspiring musicians and rising rock bands of the strip. In this circle everyone knew everyone, knew in which bands they had played, who they were associated with, had partied together before and so on and so forth.

That was exactly the reason why we had ended up here. The lead guitarist used to play in a band called Road Crew and had surely attended one of the parties at our trailer before. Y/F/N knew him and she had told me he was in a new band that was very close on getting a record deal. "You gotta check them out! Heard they're fuckin good", had been the argument that had won me over in the end. Not so much her initial reason to come here. That being the fact that apparently the guy had been an awesome fuck and she wanted to get laid by him again.

Now being here, I didn't regret it. I was having fun! And I was back in my usual habitat and in a situation that was familiar. If after the concert she wanted to leave with her black haired curly-head she was free to do so. Either I'd bump into someone I knew or would simply head home and call it a night.

The singer seemed familiar as well and if I remembered correctly Nikki had left his ass outside at one of their parties.

"Yo, what's the lead singer's name again?", I asked Y/F/N. "Oh that's Axl. Hollywood Rose, remember?" "Oh yea, right!"

I got why those boys were apparently very close to making it. Shit, was Guns n' Rosesgood!

Y/F/N had successfully gotten us all the way through the crowd to the stage, where we danced and sang along some more until the band was finished.

A few moments after the last song had ended the club put on some generic rock music and blasted them through the speakers.

"You gonna head backstage or wait here?" This wasn't the type of club in which the band would go off stage and head backstage never to be seen again. They had a small room for all of them to change and would then most likely come out to party. I knew, because we had played here before.

"He saw me, so trust me, he's gonna come to me", she grinned, and I once again admired her confidence.

It didn't take too long before Slash really showed up. He greeted me as well and congratulated on our album, so I told him what a sick guitar player he is. I give credit where it's due.

But I also understood that it was probably best for me to piss off now. So that's what I did. I figured I'd get one last drink and keep my eyes open in case of seeing anybody I knew. And for real I spotted a few people I knew from college who quickly waved me over.

After telling them the generic shit everybody wanted to know coming back from tour, it actually turned into a lot of fun to party with them. No coke but sure as hell a lot of alcohol.

It was hours later when they decided to leave and I had actually planned to leave with them

when I spotted a barkeeper, I knew. He had also attended a bunch of our parties and was a cool guy. So I sat down at the bar and joked around with him some more as the club kept getting emptier.

The club surely was anything but empty at one point, neither was it packed. It wasn't so crowded anymore, and I had completely lost track of time when someone sat down on the barstool next to me.

I didn't pay much attention and simply took another sip from my vodka lemon until he said: "You know, your friend's already gone, right?"

I turned to face him and recognized him as one of Slash's band members, right after I had been speechless for a moment because of how handsome he was.

"Yea, I know", I nodded and added grinning: "So is your guitarist, right?" "Obviously", he answered laughing: "Should've seen him backstage after the concert, couldn't get to her fast enough!" I joined his laughter, finished my drink and looked around. "Your remaining band member's left with a groupie as well, huh?" "No, fuckin idea where they are", he smiled and waved over to Jimmy, the barkeeper: "Another one of these for the little Rockstar here and I take whatever she has."

"Thank you", I told him with a soft smile. He waved it off: "I'm Duff McKagan by the way." "Y/N Y/L/N", I replied. "I know, was at one of your trailer parties before ya guys became famous." "Oh were you?", I asked surprised. I would've bet I'd recognize such a pretty face. Blond, tall, bassist. I was in fuckin heaven.

"You then ones with the trailer with the IV in the living room, right?" "Yupp, that's us", I nodded with a smirk: "Then I'm sorry for not recognizing you..."

"Don't worry bout it", he smiled: "Doubt we got the chance to talk...not that I wouldn't have wanted to..."

"We should have! Then I probably would've listened to you guys sooner! And Oh. My. God. You're amazing!", I gushed excitedly. "Thanks! Hoping it'll get us where you are now." "You'd have to be a complete idiot not to fuckin sign you!"

"I fucking hope so", he sighed and took a big gulp from his vodka: "You the song writer, right?" He suddenly changed the topic.

"Yes, why?" "I dunno", he shrugged: "When I first saw your music video on TV I couldn't help but fuckin wonder what complete asshole hurt this beautiful girl..."

His words hit me like a fucking train, because they reminded me of my former best friend Nikki Sixx, whom I had been stupid enough to fall for, but soon my drunken brain focused on something else: He thought I was beautiful...

"An asshole that's no longer a problem", I laughed. "Well cheers to that", the blond guy smirked and clicked our glasses: "Lucky me."

I returned his smirk and soon felt his hand on my thigh.

"How come you didn't leave with a groupie?", I tease him and sip on my glass. "Not my thing..." "What an utter liar", I thought. "And also", he went on: "I saw you in the crowd dancing next to your friend and knew exactly who to go for."

The way he looked into my eyes send chills through my body and I quickly took another sip from my drink.

"You alright?", Jimmy asked from further away to make sure I was fine, and I quickly nodded.

"You're pretty confident, huh?", I asked Duff. "Why?" "Well, what if that one girl you decided to go for wasn't interested?", I teased him.

Was I interested? I mean...damn he was hot and watching him on stage had been hot! His touch on my thigh made me feel hot! But for fuck's sake I didn't knowhim!

"That would be pretty sad for both of us", he shrugged and winked at me before looking at his glass and away from me.

Was he right? God, I could already feel the heat inside of me rising and a quiet voice in the back of my head reminded me that I had seen him shirtless on stage and wondered what it would feel like to touch him.

But damn it, I was drunk!

He lit a cigarette and I gave my everything not to stare at his lips for longer.

"I liked you better when you were funny and not seductive", I shrugged as well with a smirk and made him laugh. "Ouch, thanks!", he replied smiling: "In that case you'd have loved to see me lookin like an idiot when I got to Slash and your friend hours ago just to realize your gone."

"Maybe you should've hurried more, you know, the way your friend Slash did", I teased him more and calmed my nerves.

"He's just a funny guy", I told myself: "Joke around with him some more and then get your ass back home."

"Well, in the end you waited here for me anyway." "Rockstars don't wait for anyone", I joked and took the cigarette from him to take a drag as well. I could tell he was staring at my lips this time but was ripped out of his thoughts when I handed it back.

He cleared his throat and said: "Always wanted to fuck a rockstar."

I almost choked on my drink. That was my sign. The cards were on the table. I should tell him that this certainly wouldn't be the night he'd get what he wants and leave! But I was curious... so damn curious...

I couldn't deny that I was attracted to him! Maybe I could at least make out with him...find out what his lips felt like...there was nothing wrong about that.

"That's what the girls always tell you?", I tried to mock him but was too nervous to sound convincing. "You're quite a joker, huh?" "At least tryin to..."

"It's cute", he admitted. "Good, because I never run out of stupid jokes..."

"Trust me, I'd know a way or two to shut you up", he grinned to himself and took a last drag before he stubbed the cigarette out.

God, his words went straight to my core and put pictures in my head I hated but at the same time desperately wanted to happen. I wanted to find out what he wanted to do!

"Ya know what I always wanted to find out?", I asked without thinking about it twice. "What is it, gorgeous?" "If it's true that bass players don't just have skilled fingers when it comes to playin instruments."

I cracked the joke before I had thought about it. Why? Because I always had to listen to idiots tell me that and because I somehow really wanted to find out.

His smirk grew winder than I had seen it all night and it made me knees weak. "I can definitely show ya that."

"How about you first make me shut up?"

I had barely finished my sentence before I felt his free hand in my neck and soon enough his lips on mine.

I felt like melting right then and there! His lips moving against mine felt so good! But what started as a rather innocent kiss quickly became more heated. I grabbed the hem of his leather jacket, not to pull him closer but because I needed to hold on to something, anything."

His lips were moving against mine before he gently captured my lower lip with his. It was hard not too moan on the spot! And even harder when I tasted his tongue.

I damned those stupid barstools! I wanted him closer, needed him closer.

When we finally separated again my entire body was totally antsy!

"Speechless?", he asked teasingly. God, he was so damn hot!

I tried to think of something witty and fun, but I couldn't summon a single proper thought.

"You know...to prove the other thing we should probably move this somewhere more private...", he whispered into my ear and hadn't goose pumps already covered my entire body they definitely would have after he seductively kissed my neck.

I should tell him no. I should move my fucking ass back home.

But when he leaned back again and all I could think about was how I buried my fingers in his blond hair, I just nodded...

He had his arm around my waist when he let me out of the club and down strip. It was still dark and it wasn't hard to tell that there were still a bunch of parties going on in other places as well. Like I said, I had long lost my sense for time.

"My place ain't far from here", he told me and I nodded. Excitement was bubbling inside of me and gosh, I couldn't wait to kiss him again!

All worries and negative thoughts had been long gone as we walked through the cold night. I kept looking at him from the side and tried to hide the excited smirk on my lips. But

damn, he was even taller than I had guessed and looked so handsome in the dim glow of the streetlights.

I didn't know what to say. Where words needed?

I realized how he eyed me as well and a smug smile appeared on his lips. Shit, I wanted him. I had never felt this need for someone before, but I had also never allowed myself to get this carried away.

I bit my lower lip and tried to clear my thoughts but that attempt was quickly thrown completely over board when he suddenly pressed my back against the closest wall and kissed me. The kiss almost took my breath away.

Here I was standing on the strip with my back against the wall of some club and making out with a complete stranger. And it felt so right.

"Duff", I whimpered against his lips in a needy tone. "We should probably keep going, huh?", he smirked a little out of breath himself. "Except you consider this somewhere more private", I said with a grin on my lips but felt how he led me on with his arm around my hips once again.

"Wouldn't mind", he shrugged and lit another cigarette: "But I wanna take my time with you."

I swallowed hard and accepted the cigarette he wanted to share with me.

The next five minutes of us walking passed mainly without much talking but then I found myself in his one-bedroom apartment.

Alone with him now I felt the nervousness set back in.

So this was how it's gonna be?

"You want somethin to drink or anything?", he asked from behind me and I shook my head. Soon I felt him against my back with his arms around my body and his lips on my neck and shoulder.

I suppressed the low moan that had wanted to escape my lips and simply leaned back against him.

He had soon gripped the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head. A shiver ran through me but his warm hands that travelled my body soothed me and quickly found the clasp of my bra and opened it.

He was still kissing my neck when he whispered: "Turn around to me." I obeyed immediately.

The sight of my bare breasts exposed before him made him fight to contain his arousal as he hardened in his boxers. He lowered his head and wrapped his lips around my nipple. He sucked gently and I failed to find something to hold onto.

It was weird to be almost naked in front of him while he was still fully dressed, at the same time it made me feel excited.

"Get on the bed, I got something to prove", the blond haired told me smirking and I nodded. I tried not to run to the bed and could barely believe how caught up in the moment I was. My entire mind was foggy!

I watched him take off his leather jacket before he walked over to me and moved my thighs apart so he could lay down between them.

I could feel him hard against my center through our clothes but before the nervousness consumed me he had his lips on mine again and consumed my senses instead.

His body was pressed against mine and he traced his fingers down my body. He stroked over my thighs and spread them even more before moving to my panties.

Through the fabric he pressed his hand against me and gently rubbed me. A soft moan left my lips and I stirred underneath him and spread my legs further. Duff smirked against my breats and took my nipple in his mouth again as he began to rub me through my panties. His fingers ran over my slit as heat began to pool and I whimpered.

"Duff", I moaned softly.

He pulled away from my titts and brought his lips to mine while his fingers rubbed at my clit.

My eyes were closed, and I was lost in the moment, but I managed to bring my hand to his head and tangled my fingers in his blond, long hair. My lips parted as another soft moan left them and Duff pushed his tongue inside my mouth, massaging my tongue with his own.

His fingers were moving in circles over my clit and I whimpered against his lips as my panties became more soaked with each move he made.

I moaned and writhed on the bed as his hand travelled beneath my panties. Both of us moaned as he ran his middle finger between my folds, feeling how wet I was.

I whined his name again and lifted my hips to meet his hand.

He pushed his erection against my thigh and instinctively I reached down and stroked him through his pants.

"God you’re so wet for me", he growled in in my ear.

I bit my lip and raised my hips when suddenly he pulled away from me.

He knelt on the bed and smirked at me before ripping my panties down my thighs and tossing them to the floor.

My heart felt like it was about to pump out of my fucking chest.

He moved between my legs and crashed his lips against mine.

His fingers made their way back to my core and he pushed his middle finger inside me with ease, making me gasp.

"You want me to fuck you?", he pulled his finger out teasingly slow.

I bit your lip and without thinking I nodded as he pushed his finger back in.

He added a second finger, stretching me slowly: "But not yet."

He pulled his fingers away and I whined at the emptiness. But before I could protest Duff spread my legs apart and laid between them.

He ran the flat of his tongue along my slit, making me gasp and clutch at the sheets.

His tongue ran over my clit in two slow strokes.

I quickly covered my mouth with my hand and let out a moan.

His tongue ran over my clit in slow circles and he reached his hands up to squeeze my breasts. When he sucked at my clit I let out another moan into my hand and Duff pulled away.

"Oh No, baby", he told me and moved my hand from my mouth: "I wanna hear you."

I bit my lip and watched as he went back to his slow licks and his eyes never left mine as he ran his tongue over me. I felt like I was burning.

I squeezed my eyes shut and reached down, wrapping my fingers in his blond hair and raised my hips to meet him. He pulled back, only slightly and ran his fingers over my slit. He let out a growl as he watched, pushing two fingers into your throbbing pussy.

"Duff", I gasped and already felt extremely full. "Don't panic", I told myself and threw all worries away when he began to pump his fingers in and out of me, slowly at first before he increased his speed.

"You like that, baby girl?"

I moaned in response and he stopped his movements. He sucked at my clit and the change in pleasure made me squirm.

I whined and lifted my hips to meet the strokes of his tongue.

He moaned against me and the vibrations sent pleasure soaring through my veins. He began pumping his fingers once more, curling them against my wall and rubbing against my gspot.

I writhed on the bed, clutching at the sheets because of the amount of pleasure.

"Fuck..."

"You gonna cum for me doll?", he growled against me.

I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip as my orgasm coursed through me. MY walls clenched around his skilled fingers and his tongue didn’t stop running over your clit, making my legs tremble.

When my orgasm started to slow down he got up and took his clothes off, throwing them anywhere. Before he sat back down between my thighs, I watched him put on a condom through barely open eyelids.

Without a warning and therefor without giving me the time to over think this he plunged his cock into me. I gasped at his size and raked my nails down his back.

The pain was sharp and unknown.

"God you feel so good baby."

He crashed his lips against mine, stifling my moan as he pulled out of me slowly.

"So tight." He pushed into me again. I was frowning and pushed my eyes closed as I was trying to adjust to him. Fuck, he felt so good at the same time this hurt so bad but in the best way possible.

I moaned and ran my hands over his back as he set a pace with deep and slow thrusts. He wanted me to feel every inch of him entering me and he lost himself in the little whimpers I made as he pushed into me. After a few more thrusts when the pain was starting to die down, he pulled out of me and knelt on the bed.

"Rollover", he ordered.

I bit my lip and obeyed, kneeling in front of him on all fours. Duff let out a breath as he looked at my ass.

I felt him run his cock over my center before he pushed into me once more.

"Duff...", I hissed.

His change of angle set a whole new sense of pleasure and he set a faster pace. It hurt but felt so good... His cock slammed into me and I collapsed against the mattress, falling onto my elbows, arching my back more in doing so.

He brought his hand down swiftly, slapping my ass and making me gasp.

Duff gripped my hips and I moaned between breaths as he picked up a fast and hard pace, slamming into me hard and fast. He leaned forward and pulled my hair into a ponytail, his thrusts never slowing down. With a gentle tug at my hair he pulled me back onto all fours and with his spare hand he reached under me.

His fingers found my clit and he rubbed clumsy circles. I bit my lip, trying to contain my moans and arched my back. He leant over me, his breath on my shoulder and hearing his staggered breathing sent me into overdrive. He released his grip in my hair only to wrap his hand around your throat gently and pull me back enough so he could turn my head around to kiss him. Just what I needed.

"You gonna cum for me?"

I attempted to nod, which proved difficult with his grip on my throat. He didn't wait for an answer though and rubbed his fingers over my clit faster.

"Cum for me, babygirl."

I lost all control, my eyes rolling back as the waves of pleasure rolled through me, sending shivers all over my skin. His pace was sloppy now and I knew he was almost ready as well. He slowly pulled away and turned on his back so I knelt down on wobbly legs. I removed the condom and licked along his throbbing cock and he let out a low moan. I took him as deep as I could and began to suck him off until he grasped his cock and pumped it a few times before coming in my mouth.

I swallowed his load and his deep moans send a few last chills through me.

Both of us collapsed against the sheets, a sheer layer of sweat covering my skin as I tried to catch my breath.

"Shit that was good", he exhaled and placed a lazy kiss on my shoulder. "Yes, it was", I thought and grinned to myself, trying to process what had happened.

[hargrove-mayfields]

Just A Dream Away

Chapter 1/13 read here on ao3!

my piece for @harringrovebigbang!

Art and moodboard from my amazing team, @monochromegee and @shewritesdirty respectively, to come soon!

~~~~

Six months. Six months and twelve days.

That’s how long Billy has been in the hospital. In a coma. His health rapidly deteriorating.

After one month it was required he be put on a ventilator. Two and his wounds started getting infected. By month three, the hospital asked that a representative be chosen for him, just in case he didn’t pull through.

Neil Hargrove refused. Barked into the receiver something along the lines of, “What do I care if the boy wanted to go and get himself killed?” It was entirely defensive, his voice cracking as he finished his sentence, but the hospital still never contacted him again, not for updates or bills or anything. His wife was far too busy taking care of one grieving child and a lazy husband already to worry about an additional burden.

All of Billy’s extended family was still in California, had written him off years before they’d even left home for Indiana anyways. The moment his mother walked out the door, nobody else wanted him either, so they were off the table too.

The town of Hawkins had been turned inside out by the deaths of more than thirty community members, some of which were still being reported as missing so many months later. Nobody had the time, or in many cases the heart, to take care of the lone survivor.

That left only one person. The one who’d been taking care of him even before he’d fallen into a coma. The one who’d understood him better than anyone else, who’d given him a chance, who’d loved him more than anything.

Steve gets a call from the hospital, the way he is usually woken up these days. Every other morning, as soon as visitation opens, a nurse calls him for a quick update. The duties of a representative for someone unconscious, for his Billy in a coma.

He’s beyond exhausted, dragging himself to and from Hawkins General day in and day out, sometimes bringing Max or a few of the other kids along with him. Mostly because every day is the same thing, walking through the halls, facing the polite smiles from nurses who deal with this on the daily, don’t understand the way it feels to see the one you love on that bed.

If he does hear anything new, it’s usually not good news. He knows Billy is getting worse, but still he sits in that room for countless hours, watching and waiting for the moment he’s struck with a miracle, and he comes back to him.

The hospital is not quite as patient though, and since about month four of Billy’s hospital stay, they’d been encouraging Steve to consider his wards right to die. After so much time had passed by without signs of improvement, the nurses had started hesitating in the doorway when he was around, and offering kind little suggestions that were supposed to push him towards the decision to let Billy go.

Things like, “It’s not really him anymore, honey.” and, “He’s getting worse by the minute, poor thing.”, and Steve’s favorite, the one that made him leave the hospital in tears, “If he wanted to wake up, he would have done it by now.”

But no matter how true what they were saying may have been, Steve really did not want to hear it. The only reason the thought of letting Billy go had ever crossed the minds of doctors and nurses was because of what was on the news, all these up and coming stories about hospital ethics committees that were popping up all over the country recently.

They were being selfish, willing to let Billy die just because they were scared they wouldn’t be able to stand the heat that would come from keeping an eighteen year old boy on life support for as long as they had. Whether or not they actually thought they could save him was a question for another day.

So they would mail Steve countless papers and claims and pamphlets to try to reason with him, to persuade him that the best thing to do was to kill Billy because they didn’t want to deal with him anymore. It made him sick to his stomach, to think that people who were supposedly trained to help people were so hellbent on giving up on a patient.

He wonders sometimes, if they wouldn’t be so hasty to pull the plug had he been an easier case. If his father was more supportive and his biological mother present, or if the government hadn’t worked so hard to cover up the origin of his injuries. Maybe even if his representative was a nice young woman instead.

But there’s nothing he can do about it, so he just crumples the papers and ignores their premature condolences, and goes to visit Billy at every moment he can.

The drive to the hospital that particular morning feels like it takes a whole day instead of the 20 minutes the route actually is, Steve feeling like he’s suspended in time. It doesn’t seem real, taking the stairs up to the second floor, elevators were a no go after the free fall he took at Starcourt, and taking a visitor sticker and a bunch of papers from the woman at the reception desk.

He’s walked this route more times than he can count, but this time he can feel that something is wrong, different. On the top of the very first sheet the desk lady hands him, in bold black letters, are the printed words “Right-to-Die” and Steve already knows what is coming.

The woman gives him a half sympathetic look and reads off her scripted spiel. “The Hargrove boy has been unresponsive for six months now, with no signs of improvement in his condition. The recently instituted hospital ethics board wants you to seriously consider the contents of these forms.”

The words are so hollow, the look on her face mostly bored. Steve guesses this same speech was probably given to a thousand other people who’d come through this hospital, and it makes him feel nauseated just listening to it, her less than genuine pity as she reads off her clipboard, making it seem like she doesn’t even care what she is asking of him.

“It’s of course among your rights as representative to say no, but we want to remind you that he has no quality of life being artificially kept alive, and it might be best to let him go.”

“No, they told me he couldn’t feel anything. He’s not suffering.” Steve insists, and as much as he believes that he is right, the confidence in his voice is false. This was something he’d been thinking about every day for the last half a year. “You’ve kept him alive this long, right? That’s got to mean something.”

“Still, this is about him. We just want you to think about if keeping him alive is the right thing to do anymore when we can’t be sure what he’s going through. When he isn’t himself.”

Of course this was something he’d considered in his own mind, six months is a long time, and it was inevitable that a few times on his worst days, he’d have to think about pulling the plug. It was just so different hearing this nurse who didn’t know Billy insisting on it, it was just so impersonal, and it made him think about the hospital's greed, and how they probably just wanted to save money on ventilators and open up another bed.

Without saying another word to her, Steve walks away without the clipboard of papers, and off to room B-216. Of course he'd known this was coming. They’d been trying to drop hints since the moment Billy stopped being able to breathe on his own, but he’d been in denial. As long as Billy's heart was still beating, Steve had hope that he would recover if the doctors would just try.

Still, as he sits down in the chair next to Billy’s bed, he decides he doesn’t want to call Max today. He takes the desk woman's advice, as angry as it made him, and takes the time to truly reflect on the boy in that bed, with the feeding tube down his throat, the respirator breathing for him beside his bed, the IV in his neck, there because the veins in his arms had been so overused.

His hair is much longer now, just past his collarbones, but without maintenance, his blonde curls are knotted and dull. His skin is unnaturally pale, his freckles faded to nothing, and his whole body is littered with angry, dark red scars. The hole in the center of his chest still isn’t all the way healed, and the nurses are constantly fighting to keep it free of infection.

When he wakes up, they say he will be in immense pain and that he will have forgotten how to walk and talk and probably even breathe on his own. There was a chance too that his memory will have gaps in it, which could mean anything from forgetting what happened to him in July, to not even knowing his own name.

Basically if, no- when he wakes up, he won’t really be Billy.

Steve had always heard about and seen in the movies coma patients who twitch their fingers or moved their eyes, or who really give any signs of life, miraculously waking up and being themselves again, but Billy, he had only done the opposite.

At some point, he has to accept that Billy won’t be like one of those other patients, and, in the condition he is in, all pale skin and open wounds and zero signs of responsiveness, they were only prolonging his death. They had tried just about everything they could thanks to Steve’s willingness to cover the expenses, and, although he didn’t want to believe it, maybe just couldn’t accept it quite yet, it was, as the nurse had said, time to think about letting Billy go.

Not today though. He’d spend today with him at the very least, trying to push those thoughts to the back of his mind while he still could. The nurses used to say, when Billy had first been admitted and they still thought there was a chance of recovery, that Steve and Max, whenever she could come, should try talking to him, and Steve always did.

He never really has a whole lot to say, not since everything has been calming down recently. There were no more funerals to attend, no more grieving families to take a hot dish and his condolences to. The kids didn’t need him to watch them anymore, and Family Video had decided to lay him off until he didn’t have to make daily hospital commutes and he could work again. Basically, Steve’s entire world was Billy.

So it was only fair that Billy was what he usually talked about, reminiscing about everything they’d gotten to do together before the accident, telling him about what was happening with his sister now that she was getting older, and giving him updates on how many days it had been and how much he missed and loved him. One of the nurses had heard him say that once, seen him lean forwards and press a kiss to Billys forehead, but she had only turned away, pretending she hadn’t noticed.

Today though, it was much harder than usual to think of something to say to him. He always tried to leave all of the bad stuff at the door, didn’t think it would do Billy any good if he could even hear, to be listening to him always complaining or moping about their situation, but with death weighing heavy on his mind, what else was there to think about?

The anger and the remorse and the depression would be for when he went home tonight and downed a whole bottle of Fireball, Billy’s favorite whiskey, and called Robin drunk off his ass at two in the morning to tell her about how terrible he felt.

It was because he loved Billy with all of his heart that he wouldn’t put him through that. Even if it hurt more than anything else to see his love broken down and dying, which was, in Steve’s opinion, the worst thing that had ever happened to him, he always wore a smile on his face every day he walked into that hospital room.

As hard as that was, and as guilty as it made him feel to admit, Billy's sickness wasn’t the only thing making Steve miserable. He had also been through some unimaginable things himself while trapped in the Starcourt mall, and he didn't come out the other side the same.

Nightmares plagued him constantly, so that when he would eventually come back home from the hospital, he didn’t sleep more than fifteen minutes through the night. Being alone for too long warped his perception of reality, made him think everyone he knew and loved was gone, that he’d been abandoned or all his friends killed. He would constantly call to check on them, most of the time drunk and panicking, but they’d stopped picking up after the first few times. There were so many triggers too that could send him back to that night in an instant, where he’d just get stuck again.

And perhaps that is exactly why he can’t let Billy go so easily, because even if it is heartbreaking and makes him feel so empty inside being there with a version of his Billy who couldn’t speak to him or who he couldn’t hold, he was still alive. If he died now, Steve would have nothing. It would be no different from the losses everyone had suffered, the death of the chief of police and at least thirty other community members robbing them of their soundness of mind.

Letting go of Billy would just be another blow, to him and to the tight-knit community who had come so close together after the accident that rocked their little town. You wouldn't be able to tell from the fact that his room was always empty except for Steve or his sister, but the papers had revered him as a hero. Who he’d become after being hospitalized meant his death wouldn't just affect loved ones.

But more than any of that, he just didn’t want to give up on him. Pulling the plug meant sacrificing so many more moments they could have together, losing the chance to move on from what had happened. How could Steve ever know when it was the right time to do that?

When was it safe to say that Billy wouldn’t ever recover, and that they were just stretching out the inevitable? When could he feel right in letting his very best friend and the love of his life die? Deep down, past his initial reaction of shock and heartbreak, he knows he’ll never truly be ready to say goodbye, but that now was that time regardless.

Just like the nurses said, he wasn’t really Billy anymore. Who he’d been was a teenage boy with too much energy to burn, always getting into trouble and always in motion, bouncing his knee, twisting the ring on his middle finger or the locket around his neck, chain smoking cigarette after cigarette. It used to drive Steve insane how he wouldn’t sit still for anything, but now he would give anything just to have that back.

There was no personality left in him, no stupid jokes to cheer Steve up, no pestering his sister and her friends like a big brother does, nothing left in him at all that made him distinctly Billy. Steve wondered if maybe he had already given up.

If maybe, Billy wasn’t even in there at all anymore, and they were holding on to nothing just to feed their own selfishness. Steve wasn’t the most emotional of people, usually panicking before he got upset, but he could feel tears pricking at his eyes now, as he watched the slow rise and fall of Billy’s, or not Billy’s, chest, and listened to the beeps and hums of the machines that kept him going.

He knew what needed to be done. Just not today.

For now, he holds Billy's hand, unmoving and just warm enough that he could tell he was alive, and whispered to him anything that came to his mind.

If Billy could hear him, he knew he was probably tired of hearing the same stories over and over, thinking of Billy waking up and complaining about Steve being too boring made him chuckle to himself. An instant pang of regret tightens his chest, feeling guilty for being happy.

There was a really sweet nurse about the age of his mother who always checked in on him at the same time everyday, like he was the one with tubes and machines sticking out of his body. Her name was Dale, and she always peeked her head into the room around meal times to ask if he had been down to the cafeteria yet. Usually he hadn’t, and sometimes he still forgot to eat anyways, but it meant a lot to him.

Today though, she came all the way in the room, a sad look on her face, and he had to avoid her gaze entirely to keep himself from breaking down, choosing instead to focus on Billy’s slender fingers where he’d laced them through his own.

“Steve, honey, I know this is really hard for you, it’s hard for all of us when something like this happens, but you need to take care of yourself.” She was just being kind, but he wouldn’t hear it.

If this was going to be the last full day he’d ever spend with Billy, he was going to make it count. A soggy sandwich in the dingy old cafeteria wasn’t worth spending a single moment away from the other boy's bedside. He feels vaguely guilty about it, but he ignores the well meaning nurse, even as she says her generic condolences that all of them were trained to say.

He smooths out Billy's hair, brushing the part that always hung in his eyes to the side carefully, something Billy himself had always seemed to do when he was nervous. It reminds him of the time they tried to do each other's hair and Billy taught him how to make a braid, so he tells Billy about it.

When he hears the distant roar of a car's engine from the open window, it reminds him of the first time Billy drove him home in the now totaled beyond recognition Camaro, so he talks about that. A bird landing on the windowsill reminds him of sitting on Billy’s bed and talking about the seagulls and the beaches back in California where Billy had grown up, so he tells Billy that story too. The phone ringing at the receptionist's desk down the hallway reminds him of the time Billy had called him in the middle of the night to invite him out to the quarry, where they’d kissed for the first time and Steve clumsily asked him to make things official, so again, he told Billy all about it.

It's mostly a comfort to himself, keeping his mind off of the reality of the situation, but then the desk lady announces over the overhead system that visiting hours are over, and it’s time for him to go.

They had been giving him a lot of leeway here at Hawkins General, allowing him to visit every single day and sometimes with a 14 year old, which was strictly against the rules of the ICU. The end of visiting hours was a rule they always stood by though, and despite how much it crushed him to leave Billy by himself overnight, he always did it.

On his way out, he grabbed the stack of papers the receptionist tried to give him off of her desk. He would call Susan in the morning and ask her what she thought. He would try to involve her in the choice, since she’d technically claimed Billy as her dependent after her marriage to his father, who had given enough verbal and written agreements that he wanted nothing at all to do with his son while he was hospitalized that his wife could, and had, stepped in.

He went home that night with the thought in his head that this was the last time he’d do this, and by this time tomorrow, Billy would be dead.

[chocoholicannanymous]

If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Part XV

Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, part VI, pt VII, part VIII, part IX, part X, part XI, part XII, part XIII and part XIV.

Being Sebastian's boyfriend really isn't that much different from being his friend. They do a lot of the same things, and talk about the same stuff, only now there's hand-holding and kissing and cuddling with it. Apart from the touching though? Nothing really changes much.

Which kind of makes it sound like how it was with Blaine.

It's not though.

Sebastian will hold his hand in the hallway without worrying about being seen. And yes, Dalton is different from McKinley – so, so much different, and safer – but Blaine even hesitated to hold Kurt's hand in the choir room, surrounded by friends.

Sebastian kisses him in a way that never leaves Kurt doubting there's attraction, and has to stop his hands from wandering too far on a regular basis – yet never making Kurt worry he won't stop.

Sebastian makes Kurt have to stop himself, both from allowing it and from doing his own wandering. They're still too new to go there, no matter how much Kurt's hormones sit up and beg every time Sebastian touches him. (They'll get there, Kurt's sure, just... Step by step, and not yet.)

Sebastian reaches out for Kurt without looking – sometimes seemingly without thinking – to pull him close, and always makes a space for him.

And when Sebastian sings, it's with Kurt, or for him, not at him.

It's a far cry from scheduled make-outs and avoiding even PG13 levels of PDA and being made to feel like his boyfriend is more interested in his own hand than in Kurt.

It's amazing.

There's a rainbow rose hanging on Kurt's door on Valentine's day. He and Sebastian have been dating for two days – a day and a half, if he was to be picky – and Kurt knows from last year's insanity that there's not a flower shop within two hours of Vesterville that carries rainbow roses. They have to be ordered special, and with a lot more warning than two days.

Kurt's not the least bit ashamed about how he squeals, or how he turns on his heel and kisses his boyfriend (!) for long enough to be a little dizzy afterwards.

This isn't to say that Sebastian is a perfect boyfriend. He's not. Then again, neither is Kurt. He's working from romantic movies and the examples from the New directions, and of course from his time with Blaine. Neither is a good road map. Romantic movies have so many flaws Kurt don't really want to examine, and a lot of his favorites are set too far back in time to be useful as guidelines. The loves lives of his old glee mates are...well. They're flawed too, when seen without rose-colored glasses and envy.

As for his relationship with Blaine... Even if he's not counting how it ended that relationship was so very less than perfect, and honestly it was both their faults. Kurt's not without blame, he knows that and can admit it without somehow pretending what Blaine did wrong never happened.

So he's trying to learn from his mistakes, and other people's mistakes, and he does his best to communicate with Sebastian – who does the same in return.

Also, no one can say that they don't argue. They definitely do. They have from the beginning, and they're both opinionated passionate people, so why should they stop now? Their relationship has changed – they themselves haven't.

It's just that they manage to argue in a way that works. That doesn't makes Kurt pull out his claws to eviscerate Sebastian, that doesn't scare Kurt, or make him give in to “preserve the peace”. That, right there, was one of the things that had sent his relationship with Blaine down the wrong turn. When he'd first told his dad that he'd begun dating Blaine Burt Hummel had told him never to go to bed angry with his partner. He'd meant to sort out arguments and disagreements, but Kurt had interpreted it as needing to back down and push down his anger or hurt. With Sebastian he doesn't.

They argue, because that's who – and how – they are, but they do it in as mature and healthy way as they are able to, being teenagers. And they apologize if they step over the line. Not Kurt apologizes, regardless, with Sebastian pouting until he does, but both of them.

If Kurt had to, he'd call it damned near perfect. Instead he'll just say it's good, and he's happy.

That's never something to look down on.

The week of Regionals is weird. Kurt's never felt as prepared or as calm with a competition approaching, which is rather telling. The rest of the Warblers are a different story though. Kurt has made it clear that his primary goal is to beat the Troubletones, and his friends are feeling the pressure. They even ask if Kurt and Sebastian won't reconsider singing 'Human Nature'.

“Look, guys, I'm honored, really, that you would trust me, us like that. But I want to win more than I want that solo. And even if we ignore the fact that Ohio doesn't seem ready for a gay duet, I really do think the setlist we have is stronger as is. The Troubletones have a great presence, and both Mercedes and Santana are awesomely talented. However, everything about the Troubletones are built around them. The rest of the girls are background and dancing. If we go on with a number that's the same they are going to win, for no other reason than that most people find girls prettier and nicer to look at.

“But if we go on as an actual choir, for a show choir competition? We'll win. I'm sure of it. We've worked so hard with our songs, and I wouldn't change a thing about our setlist.”

And it's true. They have an amazing setlist, and everything flows in a way that makes Kurt feel practically professional, and he's not giving that – and its chance to win – up to stare longingly at Sebastian while singing a song that exposes them to the core.

No. Kurt's going to have quite a lot more time in the spotlight than he'd expected when turning down a proper solo. He's going to sing with his friends, and his boyfriend, and he's going to show McKinley what it means to be a team onstage.

The Troubletones are just as amazing onstage as Kurt thought. They've done a good job picking their songs, and Mercedes still has the best voice he's ever heard live. Santana's not quite as talented, but give her the right song – which these are – and she'll blow your mind. Their choreography showcases the girls poached from the Cheerios without making Mercedes look too far behind, and their clothes look good.

Kurt would vote for them any day, even with Rachel being given a place in the background, except this one. This is going to be his day. He meets Sebastians eyes as they line up and nods.

Showtime.

'I want You Back' does exactly what it's meant to, namely getting the audience in a party mood. As the last notes flows into the first from 'Man in the Mirror' the mood shifts and Kurt feels his own shift with it. His solo feels a little raw, because in no way can he sing those lines without being reminded of all the crap he's gone through over the past 6 months.

“...a willow deeply scared, somebody's broken heart and a washed out dream...”

Well. His heart might have been broken, and his dreams about Blaine did wash out. But he's got new dreams, and his hearts healed, and no matter the scars he's whole where it matters. And even if he wasn't? He's looking in the mirror, and he's changing.

They bring the party back with their last song, giving their all transforming the sounds of 'Beat It' to sounds that can be reproduced by the human throat. The dancing is the most demanding Kurt's ever done onstage, and he knows he will definitely be beat after. But they look and sound awesome, and that's all that matters.

Or maybe not, he ruefully thinks as he sees Finn on his feet, jumping up and down and whooping as the Warblers are proclaimed the winners and Rachel looks like she's been pelted with eggs again.

“You stole our songs!”

Of course. All Kurt wants to do is get on the bus, go back to Dalton and celebrate. Okay, shower, then celebrate. So naturally Rachel is waiting to ambush him. Well, that's not going to go the way she's probably thinking.

“Really? Really Rachel, you're going there? You know very well that we didn't steal anything. Oh, I know that there was a suggestion that the New Directions do Michael for Sectionals, but I also know that you were the one who refused to accept it.

“You really blew it there. Michael is a great choice for Sectionals or Regionals, what with the Ohio mindset, and I'm pretty sure you would have won with the setlist the guys suggested. I'm not surprised you put a stop to it though.”

Rachel draws back, looking first shocked, then insulted, then finally like an angry goose, complete with hissing sound. He's not letting it touch him though, lets it run over him, one might say, like water over a goose.

“There are no songs in Michael Jacksons discography that's a given for you, no certainty that you'll be featured. And in the end, that's what mattered, wasn't it? Not that the New Directions won, but that you won. You wanted to beat the Troubletones, didn't you? Wanted to show that you were better than Mercedes, wanted to prove that her beating you when auditioning for Maria was just a fluke. Wanted to prove what everyone knows, that's she's every bit as good as you, and sometimes better, is wrong.

“Well, congratulations. You got what you wanted in terms of the setlist and the spotlight, but you fucked up everything else. And not just for you, but for everyone.”

An expression of pain flies across Rachel's face, and he pushes the knife in a little bit further.

“We weren't as blind though. The minute Finn told me about the Michael setlist I knew it was a winner. As did the other Warblers. I asked Finn first, and Sam and Puck. They didn't think we needed their permission, as you didn't use the songs, but they gave it any way.”

Kurt looks at Rachel, looks at the way she's still fuming, still refusing to see any other side than her own. It won't matter what he says – she'll keep ignoring any and all arguments against her. Once he might have tried harder to make her understand, but as things are he just wants to leave. His boyfriend's waiting and that makes Kurt out of time to spend on his former friend.

“Your loss, our gain.”

He starts to leave, but thinks better of it. He's got one more jab in him.

“Oh, and Rachel? Don't worry. Going to Nationals is a privilege, and we won't waste it. We've already gotten started on a setlist.”

It's petty, but. So's she.

That evening the Warblers celebrate as thoroughly as a bunch of uniformed boys in a well-staffed boarding school can. This means that it's late when Kurt drags Sebastian to his room (unlike him Sebastian's in a single), but neither of them is under the influence of anything but happiness.

That's important to Kurt as they tumble into Sebastian's bed while kissing, because he doesn't want there to be any doubt in Sebastian's mind that when Kurt pulls off his shirt and then goes for his fly it's because he wants to.

Having Sebastian stop him is frustrating, to say the very least.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

It's only the fact that it's Sebastian, and that he's shown himself trustworthy in so many ways over the past months that stops Kurt from storming out.

“I thought we... You know?”

It's so hard to say, to open himself up like this, years of being told he's a predator, or ugly, or plain wrong getting just as much in his way as the fact that he's never done this, and the only time he's been even close wasn't even about him.

Apparently he's going to have to use his words regardless, because Sebastian's not taking the opening.

“I thought we could have sex.” There. Words. Consent. Door wide open.

And yet Sebastian's still not taking the opening.

“What's the hurry?”

Kurt pulls back a little, hurt blooming.

“No, no, don't. Talk to me, okay? I'm a bit surprised I guess. We haven't even been dating for two months yet, and I know this is new for you.”

“So? It's not like I'm waiting for marriage.”

Kurt knows he sounds a bit snippy, and he has sort of been waiting – not for marriage, but for something, some feeling of more. He's got that feeling with Sebastian, so what's the point of waiting any longer? Everyone else his age (or so it feels) is having sex so why can't he?

Some of it must bleed through because Sebastian gets that “aha” look, and nods a bit.

“Look, regardless of what I might have said or implied when chasing Blaine, I'm actually not the whore of Babylon. I have, however, rounded a few bases and enjoyed them. I think you'd enjoy them too, and I would love to find out first hand. But that doesn't have to mean we go straight to fucking.” Kurt blushes, because he might be ready to do it, but those words...

“So. I'm not going to push, and I'm not going to rush. I am more than interested though, I'm just happy to take it a bit slow. To build up to every step. As far as I'm concerned you've earned that.”

Sebastian's looking so earnest it kills Kurt annoyance, and then lightning-quick it's replaced by a vicked look than makes him shiver all over.

“I wouldn't mind showing you the first of many, many bases now though. How about it, babe?”

Kurt doesn't mind either, neither then nor the next day.

[ifmywishescametrue]

hnnng, could you please do either “you’re sick and you need to rest” or “you could’ve died” for stevetony? Worrying about an SO is a soft spot for me🥺

thank you for sending me this prompt! hope you like it :) (warning for mentions of torture, btw, but nothing graphic)

In that cave in Afghanistan, Tony keeps seeing flashes of things. Moments from life before all of this come to him in between the shocks of electricity when his head is forced underwater, while he’s sputtering and gasping for breath and can’t understand the words being screamed at him. 

He sees Steve more than anything. Sees blue eyes and a bright smile and if he tries hard enough he can almost hear the laugh that comes with it. Sometimes it’s that first day again, with roaming hands and a rush to get off in the bathroom of some party he didn’t want to be at, followed by an easy grin and the promise to do that again sometime. He sees Steve on his couch surrounded by take out containers and the reassurance that absolutely none of it counted as a date. Morning pancakes that supposedly meant nothing, and Steve sneaking under the desk in his office. Pencil scratches on sketch pads that used to wake him up, cold feet pressed against his calves, his favorite muffins from that bakery downtown that used to just appear out of nowhere when he was having a bad day, and the way that Steve would never admit that it was him doing it. 

It’s that last night he remembers the most. He can almost hear the words whispered in the dead of night and remembers the ones he held back, because Tony has never known how to be completely honest. He didn’t know how to say that this casual friends with benefits things was starting to feel less like friends and more like love, but when he lays down with his aching chest and bleeding fingers on the poor excuse for a cot at night, he wishes more than anything that he could have found the words before. 

So he builds the suit and practices the right thing to say for when he makes it out. If he makes it out. If this ridiculous plan of his doesn’t result in him dying somewhere in the middle of the desert, just another body added to the pile of deaths he’s caused. 

He almost doesn’t believe it when he lives. His knees hit the scorching sand, and Rhodey’s arms are right there, and still all he can think about is whether or not Steve mourned at all when they all thought he was dead. 

In the plane, after the hospital at the army base and all the IV lines to fix the three months of dehydration and malnutrition, he works up the nerve to ask about it. 

“Steve,” he starts, voice hoarse enough that he pauses to clear his throat, unwilling to sound so affected. “Is he - did he -” He stops, settling for asking, “Have you talked to him?”

Rhodey leans forward on his elbows, closing some of the distance that the aisle between them created. He pulls out his phone and taps for a moment before turning the screen to face Tony. Steve’s name is at the top, and Rhodey scrolls through the string of messages with enough speed that Tony can’t actually read any of them, but he gets the point anyway.

“This is just the last couple of weeks,” Rhodey says. “Never stopped asking for updates, especially when we found you. Called so much I told him I was going to put a virus on his phone to redirect him to random strangers if he kept it up. He didn’t listen.”

Tony swallows around the lump in his throat and looks away towards the window. 

“We weren’t supposed to be anything,” Tony murmurs, watching the way the sky is fading from orange into blue, clouds obscuring the ocean below them. It’s still a few more hours until California, where he hopes that Steve is still waiting for him. “We said it was nothing.”

Rhodey hums, both noncommittal and suggestive at the same time, and Tony turns his head back to look at him. “What?”

Rhodey shrugs, “I didn’t say anything.”

“But you want to.”

“I don’t spill secrets that aren’t mine to tell.”

Tony’s brow furrows. “What does that even mean?”

“It means he’ll be there when we land, and if you try to pretend that it’s still nothing, I’m putting your ass back on the plane until you find your common sense somewhere.”

Tony bites his lip and shakes his head, staring down at his hands, “I wasn’t going to pretend. I just - I didn’t know if he cared anymore. It’s been a few months, and we weren’t… There was never a promise for commitment. He could’ve found somebody else. Anyone else.”

Rhodey gives him a look, that fondly exasperated one he does so well. “Nice to know you’re still a dumbass.”

It startles a laugh from and makes his abused lungs twinge, but it feels good to laugh again. “Takes more than a few months to knock the dumbass out of me.”

The topic falls away after that, because Tony can’t say what he feels, and Rhodey knows anyway. He switches the conversation over to the start of the baseball season that Tony missed, complaining about the Phillies like Tony’s heard every year since he was fifteen. It’s easy and passes the time until Tony ends up falling asleep for the rest of the flight.

His muscles are stiff and uncomfortable when he wakes with a start a couple of hours later, heart racing and on edge when he doesn’t immediately recognize his surroundings. Rhodey puts a hand on his knee, and Tony jumps initially before calming. It makes Rhodey’s eyes turn sad for a moment, then it’s hidden away again. 

“Come on,” Rhodey says softly, gripping Tony by the elbow of his good arm to help him up. “We’re here.”

There’s still a slight limp in his step when he walks off the plane from bruises and scars that are still healing. He sees Pepper first, with her red hair shining in the sun, but his gaze gets stuck on the person next to her. 

Steve straightens from where he’s leaning against the black car, and Tony wishes he was in better condition so he could run to him. It would have been romantic, he thinks, like something out of one of those movies he’d never even seen before Steve came into his life. There would have been some grand, sweep-him-off-his-feet moment with declarations and pretty words and violins coming from somewhere. 

Instead Steve meets him halfway, with a quivering chin like he might start to cry. There are dark circles under his eyes, and his hair is too long, and his five o’clock shadow is almost an actual beard now. 

He’s the best thing Tony’s ever seen. 

“Hey,” Tony says, because he can’t remember a single one of those things he planned before. 

Steve smiles, and it’s only a little shaky, “Hey yourself.”

Rhodey and Pepper disappear with the shutting of the car door, leaving the two of them standing there in the middle of the empty runway. Steve takes the first step, but Tony takes the second, and then Steve’s chest is beneath his cheek, and his arms are around his shoulders. 

Tony holds on to him like a lifeline, fingers clutched in his t-shirt, and he can feel the warmth of him seeping into his skin. Steve’s hands are all over, as if checking to make sure he’s all actually there and in one piece. 

Steve steps back a little, a small frown on his face. He reaches his hand up to Tony’s chest, and Tony tenses at the first light press against the reactor case.

“What…” Steve trails off, eyes flickering between Tony’s chest and his face, and Tony undoes two of the buttons on his shirt to show him. 

The scars around it are marred and red, with raised edges that serve to make it look even worse than it is. Steve makes a sound like a choked back sob, and Tony grabs his wrist to put his hand on the reactor. It’s a little terrifying to let him touch it, but if there’s anyone he knows would never hurt him, it’s Steve. 

“It’s okay,” Tony murmurs. “It keeps me alive.”

“You could’ve died,” Steve whispers, fingers spreading out over the light of the reactor. “I thought you - I didn’t want to think it, but it was hard not to. Rhodey kept saying that you wouldn’t let yourself go out like that. You’d be all or nothing, and it wasn’t big enough. And Pepper, well, she basically said exactly what did happen. That you’d find a way out. I tried to believe it, too, but I just kept thinking that you could be gone, and we’d never - I’d never get the chance to make this real.”

Tony looks up at him, breath catching in his throat. “I thought about you every day, you know. I almost told you how I felt about you on that last night. Came so close to saying it, but I just -”

“I know,” Steve says, and with his other hand he cups Tony’s cheek. “You don’t have to say it. I already know.”

“Yeah?”

Steve nods, leaning in closer, and his lips brush against Tony’s when he says, “Yeah, sweetheart, I know.”

[pascalscenarios]

THE ONE (Frankie Morales x Reader)

THE ONE

Frankie Morales x Reader  

Summary: You wake up at Frankie’s house. You spend the day with him, only for things to be finally revealed.

Warning: Swearing 

Words: 4552

Authors Note: Whew... You guys aren’t ready for this one...Ahhh!!! Also I just want to say thank you so much for reading my fic. It means so much to me! Enjoy - k 

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5

Chapter 5

The sunlight peeked through the window, shining down on the bed. Your hair was a mess, sprawled out and disheveled as your head rested against pillows. A white comforter covered your body. You slowly open your eyes to an unfamiliar bedroom. You should have felt scared or panicked when waking up in a stranger's bed, but you felt safe.

You could smell him on the sheets, it was Frankie's bed. You were at Frankie's house.

You laid there trying to remember the events from last night. You were partying with your friends in the club and somehow you ended up with Frankie? Your memories were blurred, only remembering bits and pieces.

You sit up in the bed, your head pounding. Looking down you noticed you were wearing an oversized grey shirt and sweatpants. These definitely weren’t the clothes you wore last night.

You look over to the nightstand to find two Advils and a tall glass of water. You pull the covers off from your body, tossing your legs off the side of the bed. You pop the pills in your mouth and chug down the water.

With the glass in your hand, you get up and walk over and open the bedroom door. The door led to a hallway with multiple other doors. Towards the end of the hall was a large opening, you assumed it was the living room because you heard that the tv was on.

Your feet padded against the wooden floors as you made your way to the living room. The local news was playing on the tv.

“Looks like sleeping beauty decided to wake.”

You gasped. Startled, you turn around to find Frankie leaning against the kitchen counter with a coffee mug in his hand.

“H-hi” you stuttered out.

“Good morning.”

Awkwardness and silence filled the air like usual.

You slowly walk into the kitchen, passing him to get to the sink. You set the glass down in the stainless steel tub and turn to face him. He was staring at you while sipping his coffee, waiting for you to say something.

You stared down at your fingers as you fiddled with them. “Frankie..”

You swear he could read your mind because he started explaining everything that happened last night. He knew you were most likely confused as to why you were at his house.

“You called me last night drunk.” He says placing his coffee mug down on the counter. “You were lost and didn’t know where you were. I’m pretty sure you meant to call Alex, but somehow you called me? I came to pick you up, took you to eat at Dolly's. I was going to take you home, but I don’t know where you live and you were sleeping, so I brought you back to my place.” He explains running his hands through his moppy curls.

“I gave you clothes for you to change into, you took a shower, and slept in my bed. I took the couch.” He motions his head in the direction of the living room.

You look over, seeing a pillow and blanket bunched up on the couch.

“You know I would never-”

“I know, Frankie.” You tell him softly. “I trust you. I always have.” Your heart wrenched. The fact he drove all the way into the city in the early hours of the morning and took care of you meant a lot to you. It was proof that despite what happened between you two, he would always be there for you.

“So… “ He says trying to change the subject. “How’d you get my number?”

God this was going to be embarrassing.

Your face started to turn red as you spoke “Santiago gave it to me. I told him once a couple of years ago I wanted to call you. I’ve tried many times to press call under your name, but I always got scared and chickened out.” you confessed.

“Funny, I did the same thing too, asking him for your number, but never calling.” He chuckled, folding his arms against his chest.

“Huh...you know for the past 10 years I thought you’d never think of me again after that night.” You say you continued to fiddle with your fingers.

“I thought about you every day since then, Smiles. You were always on my mind...you still are.”

You glance up at him. Your heart was beating against your chest at his statement.

You both make eye contact. God, those gorgeous brown eyes that always made you melt. You were a sucker for his eyes, they were captivating. You could always read him from the look in his eyes. His eyes were sorrowful, but also longing.

You quickly divert your eyes breaking you from the trance you were in. What are you doing?! You’re going to get married! You can’t be thinking so deeply about someone else, let alone someone being your ex-boyfriend. Snap out of it!

“So why are your plans for the day?” Making conversation and acting like you guys didn’t have a moment just then. You walked past him and went to go sit on his couch.

“Uh, I don’t know.” He says trailing off, following you, plopping himself down on the opposite side of the couch, giving you some space.

“I was gonna drop you off at home whenever you are ready then go fishing out on the lake for a bit” he picks up the remote and starts flipping through the channels. He stops when he notices Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope is airing on tv.

You didn’t want to go home just yet. A few weeks ago you were dead set on avoiding Frankie, but something changed. You wanted to be in his company and spend time with him, at least for today.

“Can I go with you?” you asked.

“Go with me?” He sounded confused.

“Yeah...I mean like spend the day with you...go fishing?”

“You’re hungover and want to go fishing...with me…?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Um...yeah?”

“Don’t you wanna go home?”

“I mean if you want me to leave I can-”

“No!” he said a little too quickly. He clears his throat. “No, you can stay as long as you want, it's just” he stops. “Several weeks ago you were pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me. You said things between us weren’t fine, we weren’t on friendly terms, and for me to stop wedging my way into your life.”

“I mean it’s a little too late for that now, you managed to crack your way in.” You sighed.

“Have I?”

“You were always a constant in my life until you weren't. You were the closest person to me besides Santiago. So naturally for me, as much as I want to push you away, I’m also drawn to you... You’re familiar. Since you came back into my life, you’ve been on my mind a lot lately..” you opened up to him.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I don’t know... That I’ve missed you, despite everything. Think it would be therapeutic for us to talk and hang out for a day.”

Frankie stayed silent.

“Okay,” he nods, giving you a small smile.

…

You were getting ready to leave with Frankie. You didn’t have anything else to wear, so you decided to just continue wearing his shirt and sweats. It was that or the outfit you wore last night. You patiently waited for Frankie in the living room as he gathered things he needed. You walked over to the front door, grabbing your bag that sat on the small. You reached into your bag pulling your phone out.

Your phone had TONS of text messages and missed calls from your friends and Alex. Your finger sliced against your phone screen noting the long list of notification banners. They had no idea what happened to you last night or where you were. They were worried, thinking the worst possible things that could have happened to you.

You opened your phone, pressing the call icon. Looking at your call log, you noticed you did call Frankie last night. Shaking your head, you clicked contacts, and pressed on Alex’s name. You pressed the phone against your ear.

The call picked up

“Alex-”

“THANK GOD! Where are you?! Are you okay?! The girls were looking for you all night, I was so close to calling the cops! I thought something terrible happened to you!” Alex was worried.

“I’m sorry, I got lost, but I’m fine,” you reassured them.

“Let me come get you, where-”

“Actually, I’m not coming home yet…”

“What? Why? What's wrong?” Alex asked, he thought you were being suspicious.

“I just need time alone…” You lied. I mean you did want to be alone... but with Frankie.

“Time alone? What I’m confu-”

“Alex, I promise you fine. I’m safe….I just need to be alone right now. I’ll explain everything later. I love you. I gotta go”

“Wait-”

You quickly hang up the phone and put your phone back in the bag.

You put your phone back in the bag. You didn’t want to tell him what happened over the phone. It was better to tell him everything in person. You’re debating if you wanted to tell him you were hanging out with Frankie. What he doesn’t know wouldn’t kill the right?

You decided to walk around the room, looking at the various knick-knacks and miscellaneous items Frankie had displayed on his shelves. There were photos of Frankie with his friends and family members, people you recognized. A framed photo caught your eyes. It was a child's painting, with various bright colors brushed on the sheet. In the middle was a handprint of a small child, and one of a grown person.

You continue to walk around the room when you accidentally step on something. You lift your foot, noticing a sterling silver ring on the ground. It was a dainty ring of a crescent moon.

Girlfriend, you thought. You remember him talking to someone on the phone the night with Santiago. It had to be a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend and he brought you home while you were drunk? That’s not good. Yet again you are engaged and here you are spending time with your ex-boyfriend.

But nothing was gonna happen with Frankie. You both hand significant others. You guys were friends… Well sorta. You weren’t sure what to call this relationship.

“You ready?”

You look at him. He was wearing his hat, shirt, jeans, boots, and a backpack hanging off one shoulder. He was also wearing a fisher vest, which made you giggle slightly. Frankie was always a nature boy.

“Yeah.”

“What’s that?” He asks nothing you holding the ring in your hand

“Um, a ring. I found it on the carpet.” You say walking over and handing it to him.

He signs. “I swear she leaves everything everywhere...” he mumbles under his breath, but you couldn’t hear what he said because it was so quiet. He sets the ring on the coffee table.

“Alright let's go,” he says.

…

The lake was peaceful. The water slowly moved. Nothing but sounds of nature. It was calming and relaxing. You and Frankie sat in a small boat out in the middle of the lake. Frankie placed a worm to hook his fishing rod. He stood up, casting his line far out, then sat back down.

You sat there with a fishing rod in your hand patiently for something to bite.

“It’s nice today.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“You must love it out here. This is very you.” You chuckle slightly.

“I try to come when I can. They have a camping site, so I’ll come out on a weekend and camp sometimes.”

“Usually I’ll come here to think.”

“Think about what?”

He shrugged, reeling in his line slightly. “It depends. Sometimes I’ll come to think about stuff like what's going on in my life. Sometimes I’ll think about the past.”

Silence fell between the two of you.

“Hey, Frankie…”

“Yeah?”

“The questions I ask you today, can you be open and answer them honestly? I know that might be asking a lot but-”

“Okay…”

“Really?” You were a bit surprised. I mean he had been honest with you, but only really scratching the surface. You wanted to dig deeper.

“Only if you do the same.”

“Deal.” You smile. “ Did ever come out here to think about me?”

“Plenty of times, Smiles.”

“So, when did you get discharged from the military? I remember you telling Alex you fly cargo?”

“I got discharged a little while after I left. I got my pilot's license suspended for a bit. I managed to get it back and started piloting for a cargo company about 5 years ago.” He reeled him his line, then stood out to cast it again.

“Did you ever get that job you wanted, the one at the magazine company?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Good for you. I knew you could do it. I remember you being so nervous when you did your interview.”

You chuckle slightly at the memory. “Yeah, it was such a mess then, but apparently liked me. It’s a great job. It’s funny actually, Alex’s tech company is in the same building. Our mutual friend introduced us to each other. We were friends for a while, then started dating two years ago.”

You were curious about his girlfriend. He never mentioned her. I mean the phone call at Santiagos and the ring at his house, he had to have a girlfriend.

“How about you? How long have you and your girlfriend been together?”

“My what? Girlfriend? I don’t-”

“Woah!” You said as you jolted forward your hands gripping your fishing pole. You quickly stand up as the fish keeps tugging aggressively on the end line.

“Reel it in Smiles!”

You pull up on the rod as you quickly cranked the reel handle.

“Oh my gosh!” You laugh trying your hardest to reel in the fish.

“Come on, keep going you go!” Frankie cheered you on.

You reeled the last of your line. The fish flew out of the water as you helped the fishing rod up high.

“Alright Smiles!” Frankie laughed as he set his fishing rod into a holder, he stood up quickly and grabbed your line, holding the fish up. You had caught a Bass.

“This one's pretty big!” Frankie grabbed the fish from the bottom of its amount as he unhooked the fish from the line.

“You wanna hold it?” he extends the fish towards you.

“No way! I’m not touching that!” you say moving your body away.

“Come on smiles, you gotta hold a fish you caught!” He says bring the Bass closer to you.

“Frankie! No! Stop!” you protested as you turned away.

“Give your hands,” he says holding his hand out.

“Frankie...”

“Come on, it’s just a fish.”

You sigh holding your hands out. Frankie placed the Bass in your hands. You slightly squeeze its body, making sure you have a grip on the fish. The was Bass was cold, the scales poked the palms of your hands slightly, and it felt slimy.

“See, not so bad!”

The fish began to move, wiggling back and forth in your hand. You let out a yelp, letting out a shriek as you quickly give it back to Frankie.

Frankie busts out laughing as he takes it from your hands.

“That’s not funny!” You shove him as you laughed slightly.

“Stop being such a wimp! It’s just a fish!” He chuckles.

“I told you I didn’t want to hold it!”

“How about you give it a kiss then?” He moves it towards you.

“Stop it! Frankie!”

“It wants a kiss, Smiles, do leave it hanging!” as he tries to get the fish as close to your face as possible.

“Give me a smooch!” he animates his voice, pretending the fish is talking to you.

“NO! Frankie Stop!” You shriek. Frankie gets closer to you, shoving the fish in the face. You reacted by pushing him, Frankie lost his balance and ended up falling over the side of the boat into the lake.

You gasp, your hands flying over your mouth. You kneel on the bench, leaning over the side of the boat.

Frankie’s head pops up out of the water, his Standard Oil Heating hat on his head.

“Frankie are you alright?!”

He takes of his hat, tossing it the boat. He shakes his head, getting so water out and hair out of his eyes, then takes his hands slicking his hair back so he could see.

“Yeah I’m fine, I wasn't expecting to go for a swim though” he laughs as he treads water.

“Here let me help you up” you extend out your hand for him to grab. He takes your hand but you immediately regret it after seeing the mischievous look on his face. You let out a yelp as Frankie yanked you in, flipping over the side of the boat into the water.

Your body hit the water, you come up with the bubbles gasping for air. Frankie is laughing as he treads beside you.

“Now we’re even!”

‘You punk! You did that on purpose! Meanwhile, I accidentally shoved you in!” you slick your hair back out of your face. You splash water in his face.

“Two can play at that game!” he splashes you back.

You swim over to him, placing your hands on his shoulder, then pushing down on him, submerging you both underwater.

Underwater, he grabs a hold of your waist pulling your body close to his. Coming back up you're both laughing, his arms wrap around your body, as your arms wrapped around his neck.

Your guys’ laughs subside as you stare at each other. You take your hand moving a piece of Frankie's hair, out of his face and swipe it to the side. Your heart was beating fast, as you both started to lean in for a kiss. Your nose touches, but you learn your head down, pulling always from him. Swimming back to distance yourself from him.

“I-I think you should take me home now…please...” you whispered.

“Okay…” was all he said. You two swam towards the boat. Frankie got back up first, then helped. He turned on the boat and stirred back to the dock.

…

You both were dripping wet, but Frankie managed to pack extra clothes. You changed behind some bushes into a very large and long shirt that went past your knee. Frankie changed into a plain t-shirt and jeans.

After changing in new clothes and packing things up, you guys headed on the road, Frankie driving you home.

It was silent in the car. Neither of you has anything to say. You had an ongoing battle raging inside of you. You couldn’t believe you almost kissed Frankie, but part of you wanted to. You were so confused about how you felt. You needed to go home and truly be alone to think things over.

“I’m sorry-” You both say at the same time.

You both sign.

“I shouldn’t have leaned in like that-”

“It wasn’t just you Frankie...It was me as well. I should have known better.”

“-Nothing happened.”

“But something almost did, Frankie.”

“So what is this? What are we?”

“We’re not anything Frankie”

“Bullshit and you know that! We may not be together anymore, but we’ve got history. We’re connected. Stop denying how you feel” he snaps at you.

“I don't feel anything, Frankie! You don’t know how I’m feeling! I’m getting MARRIED! MARRIED!” you reminded him.

You huffed, your arms crossed against your chest. You wanted to open but the car door and roll out. You both sat in silence for a good 20 minutes, only speaking when you were giving him directions to how to get to your house you were almost home. You both had cooled off from the argument, but the tension was still high in the air.

As you sat in the passage side of the truck, you noticed something. “Who’s this?” You asked, staring at a polaroid picture that was tapped on his dashboard. You only noticed the photo until now.

Frankie closed his eyes for a split second and deeply sighed. He thought about what you said earlier ‘The questions I ask you today, can you be open and answer them honestly’. He made a deal with you, he had to keep his word. He had to come clean and make things right with you.

You peel the photo off the dash to examine it better. The photo was of a young teenage girl laughing as she smiled. She was outdoors sitting on a log in front of a campfire. Her hands wrapped around a stick with a marshmallow at the end. Behind her, there was a tent pitched up, woods, a lake, and an orange sunset sky that made up the rest of the backdrop.

“That’s my daughter.”

You stopped fidgeting with the photo. You quickly turn your gaze towards him. He didn’t look at you, he stared at the road ahead, his hands placed at the bottom of the steering wheel. You examined the photo some more. This girl had Frankie written all over her. The girl wore his Standard Heating Oil hat and the way her eyes squinted as she laughed was exactly like Frankie.

He didn’t have to tell you because you knew. It clicked. This was it. The answer you’ve been dying to know for years. She was the reason why he left you. Your eyes began to well up with tears. So many thoughts were circling in your head. You were rendered speechless. You had so much you wanted to say but didn’t know where to start. You didn’t know how to feel. You felt overwhelmed.

You kept your eyes on the photo.

“2005, our first break up. When the long-distance wasn’t working when I was stationed halfway across the country.” He began to say. He paused for a moment. “I dated someone for a few months after we broke up, but it didn’t work out with them. A little while after, we got back together. I had no idea she was pregnant. She didn’t tell me. I didn’t find out until she passed away in an accident. I was contacted, they told me I had a 5-year-old daughter and if I wanted to care for her I needed to do a whole bunch of legal stuff to gain sole custody. If I didn't, she would have gone into the foster care system. The night I left you, that’s where I went. I drove across the country to get her.”

You stuck the photo back on the dashboard, then turned to look out the window, watching the tree fly by as he drove down the highway.

“What’s her name?” you asked.

“Lilah...She’s fifteen.”

It was silent in the truck. Frankie said nothing more letting you take in everything.

You sat there thinking about what he told you. You put yourself in his shoes, imagining if you were in his situation at the time.

“I’m not even mad.” You admitted.

“Y-you’re not?”

“I’m more hurt than I am mad, Frankie.” Tears rolled down your face. “I don’t blame you for what you did. You have a daughter and that was your priority. It was important for you to get to know her, take care of her and be her dad.” Your lips began to tremble more tears spilled from your eyes. “I’m just hurt at the fact you didn’t think you could tell me. God, Frankie you should have told me!”

“I was scared! I-I was so scared to tell you! I didn’t know what you were going to think or say! I was afraid you would’ve wanted nothing to do with me after you found out I had a kid with someone else! O-or what if you didn’t want to raise her with me?! It was easier for me to leave you before you did it to me!”

“Frankie, you think I’m THAT terrible of a person? Do you really think I would have walked out on you if you told me? I told you that night, whatever it was, I would have worked it out with you! You had a daughter for crying out loud! Yes, I admit I would have been taken back and shocked, but I would have supported you! I would have raised her and loved her my very own. There's no way I would have turned her away, she half you of you, Frankie.”

“If-If I could go back a-and change things that happened between us, how I ended things-” his voice was shaking, stuttering as he spoke.

“But you can’t Frankie! You can’t change the past! What you did was done, and you’re going to have to live with that! You’re going to have to face the fact I’m getting married! What happened, happened, We just have to let it go...We both have to move on and let each other go”

By the time you said that Frankie pulled up in your driveway, parking his truck. You quickly grab your bag and hop out, closing the door.

“Smiles!” He yelled after you, getting out of his truck, and shutting the door.

You were walking up the walkway when he grabbed your arm. “Smiles-”

“DON’T touch me!” You snapped at him.

“We’re not done talking!”

“There’s nothing to talk about! Leave! Just get out of here!” you cried. You were feeling so many different emotions, you were confused about how you felt, you just wanted him to go so you could be alone. You turn away, walking to your door.

“I love you!” he shouted

Your eyes widen, whipping around quickly. “NO! You don’t get to say that! Not now! What do you want me to say? What the fuck do you expect me to say?! That I love you back?! I can’t! I can’t say that!”

“You can’t or you won’t?! I know deep down in there you love me. I know you do, but you’re afraid to admit it! Too damn scared to admit that you still have feelings for me!

“FRANCISCO MORALES LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GO HOME!”

Alex came rushing out of the house, hearing you yell. He looked at the both of you. You were a crying mess, your hair damps and wearing a T-shirt. Frankie stood there with a pained and angry look on his face.

“What the hell is going on?” Alex had a million questions running through their head but quickly rushed towards you, putting themselves between you and Frankie.

“Baby you alright? You okay?” he asked, cupping your head in their hands.

“Smiles-” Frankie starts walking towards you.

“You need to fucking leave.” Alex turns around, protectively standing in front of you.

Frankie stands there staring at you. Your lips tremble as you avoid his gaze.

“Just go Frankie…” you whispered.

And just like that, he left. Frankie got back in his truck and drove away.

You started to break down, hysterical crying in front of your house. Your chest felt tight as you sobbed. Alex took you into their arms, comforting you.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He says rubbing your back. “Let’s go inside.”

tag // @icanbeyourjedi @im-an-adult-ish

[stellarstarwarsimagines]

Lie For Me (part IV of V) (Part I) (Part II) (Part III)

Pairing - Modern!Ben Solo x Reader

Summary - You haven’t heard anything from Ben Solo, and you can’t figure out why. It takes a run in with Han, a forced doorstep conversation, and a confrontation in a bar for you to get any answers. Once you do, you’re even more confused than you were to start with. 

Word Count - 5.1k

Warnings - Language and a small bit of violence, but that’s it! 

It had been over a week since you had heard from Ben Solo. 

You tried not to let that fact bother you. In fact, you didn’t have time to let it bother you, because you were starting your new job today. 

The job that Ben had helped you get. 

That was unimportant though. You had your dream job, and you weren’t going to mess it up for anything. So it was time to focus and prove how you deserved to be here. You wore your favorite outfit, woke up early to make sure you had enough time to get a coffee, and arrived at the bottom floor with ten minutes to spare. 

“Someone’s trying to make a good impression.” A voice from behind you said. 

You turned around with a smile, happy to see a now familiar face. Vic had joined the company at the same time as you, and the two of you had done all of your training together. You got along rather well, and it reassured you to see him first thing this morning. “I could say the same for you. Are you ready for today?” You asked. 

“Ready as can be. Want to walk up together? I want to see the new office.” He teased you. 

Grinning at him, you nodded. It was a new perk that you enjoyed, having your own office, and you couldn’t deny you were eager to show it off. You led him there, discussing random things in your life until you reached it, unlocking the door and leading him inside. 

“Wow, those are some nice flowers.” He said as he caught sight of the large bouquet sitting in the middle of your desk. Flowers that hadn’t been there the last time you left this room. 

While he explored the rest of your space, you walked over, curious as to where they had come from. When you saw the card that said, “Good luck on your first day.” You assumed that they had to have come from one of your friends, but when you flipped the card over, your stomach plummeted to see the name Ben on the other side. 

This man was really going to ignore you for a week, and then send you flowers for your first day at work and act like nothing was different? A flicker of irritation went through your body, and you placed the card down on your desk. 

Vic called your name, and it took him doing it twice before you heard him. “I’m sorry, what?” 

“I was asking if you wanted to go get drinks after work. Celebrate surviving the first day?” He asked, biting his bottom lip as he waited for your response. 

It would be so easy to say yes. You should say yes. You liked being around him, and you knew that he was good company. There was nothing stopping you.

Except for the damn card sitting on your desk and haunting you. 

“I - uh, can I take a rain check?” You asked, sending him a small smile. “I already have plans tonight with some friends.” It wasn’t a lie . . . but you . . . you couldn’t do it. Besides, if someone saw you with a guy who wasn’t Ben, and the word somehow got around to Ben’s parents who thought you were dating . . . 

Even though the relationship was fake, you liked Han and Leia. You didn’t want them to think any less of you. 

“Sure,” He said, shrugging his shoulders, and to his credit, didn’t seem disappointed at all. “I will be taking you up on that raincheck sometime.” Vic added as he started to back out of your office heading to his own work station. 

“Sounds like a plan.” You said with a smile, waving to him as he closed the door. After he left, you glanced at the clock, and  you realized that you had a couple of minutes until work started.

And that card still sat on your desk. 

You didn’t even think about what you were doing. In seconds, you had your phone out of your pocket, and had selected Ben’s name in your contacts, bringing it up to your ear as it began to ring. Of course, the longer he took to answer it, the more you thought about what a bad idea this must be. But after about four rings, he did answer, his hello rough and low in your ears. 

“Hey, um,” it was a startling revelation to realize that you were kind of nervous. For as long as you had known Ben Solo, you had felt several different emotions around him, but never had you been so anxious to hear his voice. “I - I got your flowers.” 

There was a pause, but only a moment. “I ordered those a couple of weeks ago. I apologize for not cancelling them.” 

“Cancelling them?” Your brow furrowed together as you sat down in your chair, frowning. The two of you were supposed to be dating, and your boss knew that. Why would he have wanted to stop them? Plus . . . they were beautiful, and you had spotted several of your favorite flowers in the arrangement. 

He didn’t give you a chance to ask anything else though. “Someone walked into my office. I’ll talk to you later,” and without waiting for you to say a word, he hung up. 

You looked down at your phone in disbelief at the sudden dismissal, and leaned back in your chair with an annoyed sigh. 

What the hell was going on with him? 

____________________

It was a full week before you found out what had happened. You  had decided to take your lunch break at a nearby park since the weather was nice. You were sitting and enjoying your sandwich when a large, brown mass of fur ran and jumped on you, knocking your food out of your hand and licking all over your face. 

At once a huge smile formed, and you began petting the large dog. “Well, hi there, Chewy. It’s nice to see you too.” You said through your laughter. 

“Get off you fuzzball!” Han’s annoyed voice called, and you glanced up to see the  man in question running in your direction, stopping once he realized who you were. “Oh, hey,” he said, and you watched as he ran a hand through his hair, “sorry about him.” 

“It’s fine,” you reassured him, giving him an encouraging smile that seemed to put Han more at ease. “I’ve missed the troublemaker.” You said, ruffling the dog’s fur. “I hope there haven't been any more attempts at escape?” 

Han let out a chuckle and sat down beside you on the bench. “Not yet, but I’m sure they’re coming. Damn dog’s almost more trouble than he’s worth.” 

You let out a chuckle of your own, turning your smile to the dog in question. “Well, if you ever need any help catching him, let me know. I wouldn’t mind helping out.” 

At your words, Han gave you a confused look. “You wouldn’t?” 

“Of course not. Why would I?” You asked, giving him your own unsure look. 

Han shifted around in his seat, his brow furrowed as he responded, “Since you and Ben broke up I thought -”

Everything else he said was muted in your head. It felt like you were underwater, your brain trying to catch up with his words. Ben had told his parents that the two of you had broken up? Without even telling you? You understood that there probably wasn’t a reason to keep the ruse going any longer, but a head’s up would have been nice so there wasn’t an awkward situation like this. Now you were scrambling for something to say, and Han was looking at you like he was waiting for you to speak. “Oh, um, right.” 

Thankfully, it seemed your confusion worked in your favor as Han gave you a sympathetic look and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Listen kid, give him time to come to his senses. My son’s got a stubborn side, that he got from his mother of course,” You couldn’t help but give him a small smile at that. “But I can tell he cares a lot about you. He just needs a minute to get his head on straight.” 

Ignoring the way Han’s words made your heart stutter, you nodded. “Yeah . . . maybe that’s all he needs.” 

____________________

This was a bad idea. 

Ever since you had talked to Han this afternoon, his words had echoed in your head, and you hated it. You had never been the type of person to spend hours thinking about a guy’s motives behind his actions, but now it seemed as if your brain could do nothing else. All during work you had been distracted, and that was not how you wanted to be when you were still new. So you weren’t going to let it continue. If Ben wasn’t going to give you any closure on what the two of you had gone through, you would make him. 

Sitting on the porch of his apartment with Poe probably wasn’t the best way to get it, but it was the first thing that you had thought of. 

You had a general idea of what time he came home, and thankfully you had only been sitting there for about an hour when you heard footsteps on the stairs. Your heart did an odd little stutter and anxiety filled your chest as you stood up, but you brushed it aside as best you could, determined to get some answers. 

He was startled to see you, that much was easy to see, but almost as soon as you read it, it was gone, a blank mask replacing the expression as he shrugged his bag higher up on his shoulder. “Are you waiting for Poe? He’s going to be late tonight.” 

“Waiting for -” You gave him an incredulous look. “Of course not. I’m waiting for you. Thought it might be a good idea to talk where your work couldn’t interrupt you.” 

“Well, you’ve never been here to see me, so I thought Poe was the logical conclusion.” Ben said, walking up the remaining steps and beginning to unlock the door. 

A flicker of irritation started to form in your heart, and you clenched your fists at your side. “I ran into Han today.” Even with his back to you, you saw the tension form in his shoulders. “If I had time to prepare, I would have brought a box of your things to return.” 

Ben turned back to look at you then, crossing his arms over his chest. “I guess I should have sent you an email. I told them last weekend.” 

“An email?” You repeated, your mouth almost dropping in disbelief. “Is that what I’ve been reduced to now? Not even worthy of an email?” 

He shrugged his shoulders as if his words hadn’t cut into your chest like a knife. “I didn’t expect you to run into my parents anytime soon. I apologize for that. I decided since we both got what we wanted, there wasn’t any need to keep lying.” 

“Don’t you think I should have had some sort of say in -” You started to say, but he cut you off. 

“In what? Our transaction?” 

The breath was robbed from your lungs. You had come here for closure, trying to discern his behavior, and with those words, you had gotten what you wanted. If, no matter everything the two of you had shared, all he saw from this was a transaction? It was obvious where his ‘caring’ feelings stood. 

If only you had been able to keep the same mindset. 

You couldn’t stand to look at him for any longer, knowing what you knew now. You wouldn’t dare let him see how much those simple words had affected you. You wouldn’t let yourself appear weak. “I would have liked a head’s up. That’s all, but you’re right. Whatever we had should end. It was going on for too long anyway.” You said, trying to match his tone. You picked up your bag from the ground, placing it over your shoulder. “Let Poe know I’m sorry I missed him.” You said, and without another word, turned on your heel and headed back to your car. 

A part of you, no matter how small, hoped that he would call you back, run to you and spin you around, kissing you like he had that day in the bathroom, like you were something precious that might slip through his fingers . . . but he didn’t. 

And you didn’t let the tears fall until you were safely in your car. 

 ____________________

It was a lot easier to say what happened between you and Ben hadn’t affected you than to believe it yourself. However, you didn’t think you were that convincing in the first place. Rey and Finn could sense something was wrong. It was obvious in the way that watched your every move, and came up with things to do to keep your mind occupied. You appreciated it, but you hated the fact that they even had to do it in the first place. In fact, you hated that you had let Ben Solo have any affect on you at all. 

Which was why you resolved to not let him have any more. 

“We don’t have to do this, you know.” Rey said as the three of you walked into one of your favorite bars, arms all linked together. 

“We can go back to your apartment, watch the Office again, and order takeout?” Finn suggested. 

“Guys,” you shot them a stern look, one after the other. “I want to be out. I want to do things, and most importantly . . .” You pulled away from them with a smirk, glancing around the bar. “I want to get laid.” 

“You want to . . . what?” Rey asked. 

You turned your attention back to her, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’ve been stuck in a stupid fake relationship for like three months where I wasn’t getting any, and I’ve been working hard on this new job. I think I’ve earned a bit of stress relief.” 

Finn and Rey exchanged glances. “Of course, if that’s what you want.” Finn said, shrugging his shoulders. 

What you really wanted was to get the sensation of Ben Solo’s lips off of yours, and this was the quickest way to do that. 

Right? 

“Yes, this is what I want.” You reassured them, reaching out to grab both of their arms and tug them towards the bar. “Now let’s get some drinks. First round is on me.” 

____________________

It turned out finding someone to have a good time with was a lot harder than you thought it was going to be. Over the course of two hours, you had talked to around five guys, none of the conversations lasting more than twenty minutes, for purely, you would admit, shallow reasons on your behalf. 

One had the most annoying laughter you had ever heard. Another wouldn’t stop saying “really?” every other sentence. Then there was the guy who had smaller hands than you. If it wasn’t going bad enough, then you met the man who wouldn’t stop smiling with too big of a grin, and after talking to the last one, you realized what was holding you back. 

None of them made your heart race like Ben. 

“I’ve never seen someone looking so miserable at a bar.” A voice said as a body slid in beside you. 

You recognized it at once, turning to give Vic a genuine smile. “Well, I am about to run low on my drink.” You teased him. 

“Guess I’ve got to fix that.” He said, returning your smile as he gestured to the bartender. 

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean -” You tried to stop him, your face growing hot, but he shook his head. 

“You owe me a raincheck remember?” Vic said. 

“All right,” You agreed, watching as he turned back to the bartender and noticing for the first time how nice his eyes were. 

Maybe this night was finally starting to turn around. 

Three drinks later, you found yourself leaning against Vic’s side, snorting with laughter as he told you, Finn and Rey about the most embarrassing first day of a job he’s ever had. “So you just took off?” Rey said, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. 

“Didn’t say a word?” Finn asked, shaking his head in disbelief. 

Vic shrugged his shoulders. “Boss told me to get out of there. So that’s what I did.” He said, taking another sip of his drink. 

“You’re terrible. I can’t believe they hired you.” You teased him, bumping his shoulder. 

“Neither can I.” A low voice interrupted from behind you, a voice that made you freeze in your spot. If you hadn’t known by the voice, the looks on Rey and Finn’s faces told you at once that Ben Solo was standing behind you. 

You didn’t want to turn around. You didn’t want to look at him because you didn’t know if you could control your expression. Your heart was already pounding heavy in your chest, and if you looked at him . . . 

“Well, if it isn’t Ben Solo.” Vic said, and you glanced at him to find a rather callous grin on his face. A look that you had never seen, and had no desire to see again. 

As soon as you saw it, you couldn’t help it any longer, and looked behind you to Ben who had an equally unpleasant expression on his own face as he stared at Vic. 

It was at that moment that you realized the two of them must know each other. 

And not in a good way. 

You glanced back at Finn and Rey who were looking as confused as you did as they watched the exchange. Rey shrugged her shoulders and Finn raised his eyebrows, so clearly they had no idea what was going on either. 

Turning back to look at Ben, you felt a shiver roll down your spine. You had seen Ben angry several times. Your mind flashed back to that first night the two of you had pretended to be, ‘dating’, when you had overheard those girls talking about you in particular. The burning rage in his eyes almost seemed tame now compared to the look that he was giving Vic. “What are you doing here?” He asked, venom leaking from his tone. 

“Having a drink with a coworker.” He said, and did he lean even closer to your side or were you imagining it? 

Nope. You hadn’t imagined it, because as soon as you noticed it, it seemed Ben did too. His jaw tensed so hard it looked as if it had turned to stone. The fire in his eyes turned them even darker, a dangerous black, as his hands clenched into fists at his side. “Coming to get my girlfriend.” Ben hissed through his lips. 

You barely had time to stutter out the word, “girlfriend?” before Ben had hauled you up out of your chair and wrapped his arm around you. At once, Finn stood up, ready to intervene, but you shook your head at him, not wanting him or Rey involved in whatever this show of testosterone this was. 

“Ah, didn’t know she was your girlfriend considering the way she’s been flirting -” Vic started to say, but you cut him off. 

“Excuse me? If I was flirting with you -”

“Come on, we’re going.” Ben said, tightening his grip around you and tugging you along with him as he headed to the entrance of the bar. 

You thought about struggling. You thought about turning and screaming at him, and you thought about getting out of his arm, running back to the table, and planting one on Vic’s lips right then and there because it was clear how much that would piss Ben off. But you did none of those things, waving Finn and Rey off once more as they both stood to follow you, and allowed yourself to be taken outside where the two of you were alone. 

And then you turned around and let him have it. “What the hell, Solo?!” You yelled, shoving his arm off of you. “I wasn’t your girlfriend, but now that Vic’s involved I am?! What the hell is wrong with you?!” 

To your indignation, he ignored every word you said to him. “What the hell were you doing hanging out with him?! He’s bad news.” Ben said, sounding every bit as furious as you did. 

Which made no sense. “Bad news?” You let out a laugh lacking humor. “Guess he was fooling me, because other than Finn and Poe, he’s the only guy that’s been even somewhat nice to me.” You took a step towards him, invading his personal space. “He doesn’t treat me like a caveman dragging me around everywhere. He doesn’t avoid me. He doesn’t act like I have the plague after I kiss him!” You yelled, punctuating each sentence with a poke to his heaving chest. 

If you hadn’t been staring into his eyes with such intensity you would have missed it. The flash of pain that was gone within a blink of his eyes and replaced with that fiery fury. “You’ve kissed him?” He hissed. 

Out of all the things you had said, that was what he had picked up on? You weren’t sure whether you wanted to cry, laugh, scream or a combination of all three. “No, you asshole! I haven’t kissed anyone or anything since your stupid lips!” 

He looked relieved. 

And it just riled you up more. “You know what? Maybe I should give it a shot. He’s got some nice, kissable lips, might even be a good lay too -”

The breath left your lungs in a whoosh as you found yourself pinned between the cold stone of the building and Ben’s blistering, towering body. Shocked by the sudden movement, you looked up at him, but found the breath gone from your lungs once more. You had been trying to piss him off, make him as angry as you were, and there was no doubt he was from the absolute tension that lingered throughout his whole body. When you stared into his eyes though, you saw something you had never seen there. 

Fear. 

“Stay away from him. You’ll get hurt.” Ben said, his hands gripping your wrists in a tight grip as if waiting for you to haul off and run back in there to him. 

Which a part of you wanted to do, to piss him off, but the biggest part of you was more curious as to why he even cared. After all that talk about  the deal between the two of you being over, what should it matter to him if you got into a relationship that would end badly? “Quit bossing me around like you give a shit what happens to me.” You said, trying to sound as vicious as possible. 

Ben’s grip tightened on your wrist, his eyes tracing over all of the features on your face and leaving heat in their wake. “You think I don’t care about you? Every second of every day I’m fighting not to think about you.” He told you, equal amounts of anguish and anger in his voice. “What you’re doing, who you’re with, if you’re at that stupid restaurant with the bad breadsticks that you inist are the best in town -”

“T-that’s because they are.” You stuttered, your mind not able to comprehend the rest of the words he was saying yet. 

“Don’t ever, think for one second, that I don’t care about you.” Ben said, giving your wrists one more squeeze, and then letting them go. 

You watched as he turned and took a step away from you. At that moment, you were stricken with the realization that this could be it. If you didn’t say something right this second, nothing might ever come of you and Ben. 

There was no way you could let that chance pass you by. 

“Then why are you pushing me away?!” You called out to him, making him freeze. “Ben, I . . .” You took a deep breath, forcing the terrifying words to leave your mouth. “I want to be with you. Not in a fake relationship, but a real one.” You said, wrapping your arms around yourself as you took a step forward. 

Ben didn’t move, and kept his gaze locked on the ground in front of him when he spoke. “You think that you want that -”

“No. You’re wrong. No matter how big of an asshole you’ve been . . .” You said, shaking your head. “I know it’s what I want. I thought it that night when we were looking for Chewy, and I knew it when I kissed you. I know you felt it too.” You insisted, even though you knew no such thing, not anymore at least, but you had to hope. “Stop fighting your feelings.” 

You felt the tension release somewhat as he turned to look at you, but his face was so, so insecure that it took your breath away. Even more so when his hand, with the most gentle touch, cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing across your cheekbone. You closed your eyes as you felt him draw closer, his forehead resting against yours, his lips so close you could almost taste them. “Why do you always push?” Ben said, but it sounded more like a plea than a question. 

His lips brushed yours, and you knew, without a doubt, you couldn’t do it. If you let him kiss you, you wouldn’t have the strength to stand firm on what you wanted, what you needed. Your hand rested against his chest, exerting enough pressure to stop him. “Don’t,” you mumbled, shaking your head. “Don’t kiss me unless you’re willing to open up to me too.” You opened your eyes, gazing into his intense dark brown ones. “I can’t take it if you don’t.” 

Ben’s eyes closed, almost as if he couldn’t take the emotion in yours. You waited breathlessly for him to say something, do something, and finally he opened his mouth - 

Vic called your name from behind Ben, and your eyes flickered over his shoulder to see him, Rey and Finn a few feet behind, all watching the exchange. “Are you okay?” He asked, but you got the feeling he didn’t care. He just wanted to rile Ben up. 

It worked. As if that switch had been flipped, Ben took a step away from you, turning around to glare at Vic, hiding your body with his own. “She’s fine.” He answered for you. “Now get out of here.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Vic snapped, moving so that he could look at you. “You all right, Sweetheart?” 

“I’m fine,” You answered, annoyed at him for interrupting and annoyed at Ben for letting Vic get to him. “I’m ready to go.” You called to Rey and Finn who nodded and went back inside to get your stuff. 

“Do you need a ride to your place?” Vic asked, and before you could say no, Ben answered for you. 

“I’m sure she can get home fine.” Ben hissed, moving to step between the two of you again. 

Vic smirked, taking a step even closer and holding his hand out to you. “He sure is possessive of you isn’t he? I promise if you stick with me, you won’t have to deal with that.” 

Ben stepped forward and good God was he menacing, towering over Vic, who was not short either. Everything about him in that moment screamed dangerous, and you found yourself wanting to take a step back yourself. “If you try to touch her again, you’re going to regret it.” Ben growled, sending shivers down your spine. 

“Ben!” You said, shocked by how angry he was getting when Vic was clearly trying to irritate him for God knows what reason. 

“What are you going to do about it, Solo? Wimp out like last time?” He glanced at you, and then looked back at Ben. “Does she even -”

It happened so fast you almost missed it. One minute Vic was taunting him, the next he was on the ground, clutching his nose, blood hitting the concrete beneath him. “Ben! What the hell?!” You gasped as soon as you realized what he had done, hurrying around him to Vic to check and see if he was okay. “Are you okay?” You asked him, trying to see how bad he was hurt. 

Vic nodded, glaring up at Ben, but didn’t say anything else. 

Biting your lip, you looked up at Ben who was still staring at Vic with poorly concealed fury. “You need to get out of here.” You told him. 

That’s when Ben turned his attention to you, disbelief on his face. “What?” 

Did you want him to go? No, you didn’t, but you couldn’t ignore what he had done. He needed time to calm down, and he wasn’t going to get that here, with Vic hanging around. You couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t goad him into another fight, and that was the last thing that needed to happen right now. “Go, Ben.” You insisted. “Get your head on straight.” You said, the words having more meaning than one. 

You couldn’t miss the flash of hurt that crossed his face, but then it was replaced by something almost worse. He almost seemed . . . resigned. Like he had expected you to order him away, and he wasn’t surprised that you had finally done it. Your brow furrowed, and you started to say something else, but before you could, he had turned and walked away, his hands clenched into fists at his side. 

As soon as he was gone, you turned to look at Vic who was staring after him with a clenched jaw. “Listen, I’m sorry about him, he’s -”

“He’s a dick,” Vic spat, moving away from you and standing up, “and if he’s your boyfriend, you don’t have a fucking idea what kind of person that he is.” 

Your eyes widened at the venom in his tone, and you watched as he stomped away as well, so distracted by his words that you didn’t even notice Finn and Rey coming up behind you. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Finn asked, rubbing your back with his warm hand. 

Sighing, you let yourself lean against his shoulder while Rey took your hand. “Not even remotely.” You admitted. “Can we just go back to my place and watch the Office like you guys suggested, and I can pretend I’m crushing on a Jim Halpert instead of a hot head who punched someone and won’t let me in?” 

Rey squeezed your hand with a reassuring smile. “You’re on.”

[blueskrugs]

Four Times Fate Brought You to Vince Dunn, and One Time You Found Him on Purpose

I wrote this simultaneously with another Vince 4+1 (coming tomorrow, hopefully!) and yelled to @captainpetty​ and Erin​ about them constantly. Sorry guys. 

length: 3k words

An Accident You met Vince Dunn for the first time in an emergency room in St. Louis. Normally you worked the pediatric floor, and not on the night shift, but sometimes you floated to the general emergency room for an extra shift because, well, money is money.

You liked pediatrics because dealing with kids was far easier than adults, in your opinion, even when parents could sometimes be just as difficult as a screaming toddler. But at least screaming toddlers could be calmed down with the promise of a sticker or a lollipop. 

“Hey, can you pick up the new guy that just came in?” one of the other nurses asked as she breezed past you to handle one of her patients. “I think they said something about him being important around here.”

“Being important” meant that, when you pulled the curtain back to face your newest patient, you came face-to-face with a very drunk Vince Dunn and a significantly less drunk Colton Parayko. You simply raised an eyebrow and moved over to the computer to start charting.

“I’m not really sure I want to know what happened here, but I think I have to ask,” you said, trying to ignore the fact that you were pretty sure Vince was whispering to Colton about you.

“Is there any way, like, our training staff-”

“And Petro!”

“God, yeah, and Petro, won’t find out about this? Because I wasn’t supposed to let anything happen to him, and we have a game tomorrow,” Colton finished. 

That really didn’t answer your question, and you weren’t sure how anything that brought the two of them into an ER after midnight was going to be easily hidden for a game the next night. You turned then, properly looked at the boys, took in Vince sitting on the bed with his feet swinging above the ground like a child. His shirt was a little wet with what was probably beer, and, when you looked closer, blood. His left hand was wrapped in a bar rag–that you really hoped had been clean when they got it–that was definitely blood-stained. 

Colton explained to you, as you started an IV in Vince’s right arm and cleaned the gash in his palm that would definitely need stitches, that they had gone out in spite of their captain telling them it was a bad idea. Vince had had one beer too many and had ended up on a table, then fell off the table, catching his fall on someone’s pint of beer. By the way Vince winced when you moved his hand around to clean it, you were pretty sure his wrist sprained, too.

You hovered a bit as one of the ER doctors came in and checked out Vince’s hand and wrist. Vince was quiet, but you could feel him watching you as you fidgeted around the small room. By the time everything was ready for him to be sent home, he was definitely more sober himself, but that also meant he was lucid enough to be embarrassed about how he ended up in the ER. You watched as Colton led him out of the ER and to a waiting Uber, and you wondered just how the hell they were planning on hiding his hand from everyone the next day.

At a Bar The second time you met Vince Dunn was, somewhat ironically, in a bar. You had seen him as soon as you walked in, laughing with some of his teammates in the corner, but you diligently ignored him as you headed to the bar with your friend to get a drink. Why would he remember some random ER nurse from over a month ago, when he had been drunk? You shook your head, determined to ignore the loud hockey boys in the corner and have a good night yourself. 

You had been at the bar almost an hour and had done a pretty good job of ignoring and avoiding the hockey players in the corner. You headed over to the bar for a second drink, when you felt a hand press against your lower back. You tensed, twisting around as much as you could in the crowded bar to see who was behind you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” Vince said, but he didn’t move his hand. He raised his left hand to get the attention of the bartender, and you saw the flash of a still-healing scar on his palm, pink even in the dim light of the bar. “You were that nurse from the ER, yeah? I never thanked you for taking care of my drunk ass that night.” He smiled, then, wide and genuine, hand still warm against the small of your back, and you relaxed a little bit. 

You were surprised that he recognized you. You’d heard stories of the younger players on the Blues wheeling multiple girls at once; you vaguely wondered how they kept track of them, much less a nobody nurse he’d met once. 

You didn’t say that, though, just smiled back at him as the bartender slid two beers in front of you. You reached into your pocket to pay but Vince grabbed your wrist.

“Nah, this one’s on me. Said I had to thank you, didn’t I?” he told you. You tried not to think about how green his eyes were up close. 

You shook yourself again; you didn’t need this. You didn’t need this. Besides, how many more times could you run into Vince Dunn?

In Enemy Territory It was in Pittsburgh, of all places, when you saw Vince Dunn again. One of your brothers had moved out there for work, and you were visiting him for a week, helping out with babysitting his kids, hanging with your sister-in-law. You hadn’t even thought to check the Blues’ schedule; you had no idea they were on a road trip to play the Penguins. 

You were standing in line at a Starbucks, your two-year-old nephew balanced on your hip, your sister-in-law still outside with the other kids.  You heard the door open behind you, and a loud group came in, but now you were focused on ordering before the toddler you were carrying decided he got bored and threw a tantrum. You were struggling to reach your card one handed when someone else reached past you.

“Add it to ours,” the voice belonging to the arm said. You spun, only to see Colton Parayko looking down at you with a smile. You looked over his shoulder to see several of his teammates shoving each other playfully in line. That would explain the loud group you’d heard come in. Colton was introducing himself to the two year old you were carrying, but you were still watching his teammates. Vince caught your eye from where he was trying to put Jordan Kyrou in a headlock and grinned, immediately letting go of Rouzy. You smiled back, a little caught off guard. 

You stepped to the side as you waited.  Before long, you were joined by Vince, both of you trying to ignore the catcalls from his other teammates. 

“And who’s this little guy?” Vince cooed, actually ignoring you aside from a quick smile. You raised an eyebrow a little bit at his baby-voice.

Your nephew tucked his face into your neck, suddenly shy. “Oh, come on now,” you said to him. “This is Jake, he’s my brother’s youngest,” you explained to Vince. Vince continued to talk to your nephew in that same high, gentle voice, until he was giggling and chattering right back. The barista called your name, and Jake picked that moment to decide he was done being patient and started fussing, very close to crying and screaming. You couldn’t balance two drinks and two sandwiches as well as a fidgeting toddler, and you groaned. 

“Here give him to me,” Vince said, reaching out to take him before you could protest. Jake settled immediately, and you glared at him a little. You could hear Vince talking to him more as you scrambled to pick up all of your order. He followed you outside, and you ignored the interested stares of the rest of the guys. 

He continued to hold Jake as you handed off your sister-in-law’s half of the order, stood there to chat with her and the other kids, long after Sammy came out with Vince’s drink. He used the same voice he had used to befriend Jake on the other two kids, but he talked and laughed with you and Sarah in the next breath, even teasing her for the Pens shirt she was wearing. 

You were doing your best not to think about how that voice was making you melt every time he used it. His teammates eventually dragged him away to get back to the hotel before the game, but not before Vince talked you into exchanging phone numbers. 

You tried telling yourself that you were never going to use it. 

In a Grocery Store You were pretty sure the universe was laughing at you at this point. Your mom had invited herself over for dinner, and you had nothing in your apartment to cook. Which meant you rushed to a grocery store on your lunch break, and you ended up at a different one than you usually went to because it was closer to work.

Why couldn’t all grocery stores be laid out the same? You were trying very hard to make it look like you weren’t turning in circles as you tried to find everything you were looking for when your phone buzzed. You pulled it out with a huff, fully expecting it to your mom again, but instead the name on your screen read, “Vince Dunn.” 

You paused. It had been nearly another month since Pittsburgh, and neither one of you had texted the other one. You were (mostly) perfectly content with leaving it that way, but clearly Vince had other ideas. The screen had gone dark, but it lit up again, reminding you it was there. You read the text, the simple words “you look a little lost.” With that you spun around, and, sure enough, Vince was standing a couple feet behind you, leaning against a shelf with a smirk on his face.

“I don’t have time for this,” you said, turning back around and starting to push your cart in a direction that hopefully ended in pasta. 

“Hey, wait,” Vince said, taking a couple annoyingly long steps to catch up to you and put a hand on your cart to stop you. “Lemme help. It’ll be faster. I’ve been watching you walk in circles for like ten minutes.” You blushed as he smirked again, but his eyes were soft. 

You wanted so badly to just push past Vince, forget you had ever met him, and then met him again and again, delete his number from your phone, but you also knew he was right; he would probably get you out of this damned grocery store a lot faster than you could probably manage on your own, and maybe you really wanted to spend a little time with him, too. 

So you sighed, handed Vince the list you had scribbled on the back of a gas receipt, and let him lead you around the grocery store. He let you rant about your mom, and then about work, only pausing to offer opinions on the food he was putting in your cart. After a while, you realized you had actually managed to get everything on your list, but now Vince was wandering aimlessly around the store, sneaking junk food into your cart. You raised an eyebrow as you watched him slip a package of cookie mix behind the box of pasta. He looked up at you as you leaned on the cart handle, sheepish now that he’d been caught.

“What?I like snickerdoodles,” he said in defense.

You shook your head and pulled the package out of the cart. “I can make better snickerdoodles from scratch, dude.” You looked closer at everything in your cart. “And I don’t like jalapeno Cheetos,” you said, throwing the bag at Vince.

“Is that a promise on the snickerdoodles?” Of course he focused on that.

“I don’t know, maybe. Now go put the damn Cheetos back.”

Vince laughed. You willed yourself to focus on getting out of the store and home to cook dinner, not just kissing Vince in the middle of the baking aisle. 

“Don’t knock ‘em until you try ‘em. Thommer’s gotten the whole team addicted at this point,” Vince told you over his shoulder as he went to put the Cheetos back from wherever he found them. You turned around and headed back in what you thought was the direction of checkout. Vince found you again as you stood in line. You had honestly thought the whole Cheetos thing would be the end of this interaction with him, but apparently not. 

“Don’t you have your own grocery shopping to do?” you asked, realizing just how much time Vince had spent with you in the store. “Instead of helping some random girl?” you added, allowing the insecurity you were suddenly feeling slip into your voice. 

Vince started putting your groceries on the conveyor belt. “Nah, Sammy just wanted some snacks, and he can wait.”

You let Vince load the rest of your stuff onto the belt, you didn’t let him pay–though he fought you on that one for several minutes–and you let him walk with you to your car and put all of your groceries in the trunk.

You were halfway home before you thought to wonder if he actually went back and got snacks for Sammy. 

At a Hockey Game When your best friend texted you and asked if you wanted to go to a Blues game with her, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. You had grown up a hockey fan, had found Hannah in high school, and there you two were, years later, still yelling about the Blues over texts and phone calls and in person. Your eagerness had absolutely nothing to do with Vince Dunn. 

You also didn’t hesitate to snap a picture of your ticket and send it to Vince after Hannah handed it to you. You didn’t really think he’d see it so close to puck drop, but you still regretted it as soon as the tiny little “sent” appeared underneath the picture. 

The game was exciting, and the Blues won, which helped distract you from the anxiety you were feeling over Vince. Mostly. Until he scored a goal, and his eyes swept the sea of blue in Enterprise Center, and, for a split second, you let yourself think he was looking for you. 

Until after the game, when you and Hannah were getting up to leave, and an usher appeared next to you, saying your name and telling you to follow her. Getting down below the arena was a blur of people and security, being given neon wristbands and convincing people that, “Yes, I was invited down here by a player, I belong down here,” even if you didn’t really believe that second part was true. 

You both hovered awkwardly in the doorway to the room where all of the WAGs and kids were waiting, and suddenly you regretted wearing your Parayko jersey just a little bit. You were thankful to have your friend next to you, though, and you explained the whole grocery store thing to her while you waited. You were starting to debate leaving, telling everyone that, yeah, actually, letting you down into the tunnels was a mistake, that you have no business being there, when you’re wrapped up in a hug suddenly, and there’s Vince, freshly-showered and back in his suit– and this is new, but it’s nice and you let yourself relax into the hug.

Vince pulled back, and he was smiling at you and introducing himself to Hannah, and Colton was standing behind him with a matching smile. You remembered the 55 sprawled across your back, and you knew Colton saw it, but then he was wrapping his arm around your shoulder and didn’t say anything about it.

You weren’t so lucky with Vince. “I’ve gotta get you a new jersey,” he said. You just rolled your eyes and shrugged. 

“I’ll sign that one for you,” Colton whispered. 

Vince and Colton started arguing over that, and you were starting to think that this is something you could get used to, since this was apparently your new normal, when Alex Pietrangelo comes over to your little group, and you were reminded a little just how not normal this was for you. 

“Is this the nurse Dunner won’t shut up about?” Petro asked Colton, who nodded over your head. “You really freaked him out when you texted him before the game,” Petro was talking again, this time to you. “We thought he was gonna go out into the stands to find you himself.”

You laughed, more at the bright blush that was spreading over Vince’s cheeks. “What happened to ‘Petro can’t find out about this?’” you asked.

“That went out the window pretty fast,” Colton told you.

“And I don’t know how you ever thought you could hide eight stitches in your hand and a sprained wrist from me,” Petro added.

“You should have heard him after we saw you in Pittsburgh. He kept looking for you at the game that night, too.” 

You smiled up at Vince, who was blushing all the way up his ears now, but he just wrapped his arm around your shoulders and buried his face in your hair. Yeah, you could definitely get used to that. You elbowed him in the ribs a little bit, but his arm just tightened around your shoulders. 

He and Colton walked you and Hannah back to your car outside the arena, Colton chirping Vince relentlessly the whole way.

Vince grabbed your hand before you could get in your car. “I’ll text you, yeah?” He looked unsure, which was probably the first time you’d ever seen him nervous around you. “Sammy won’t stop asking me when you’re baking us cookies.”

“I don’t remember saying anything about baking Sammy Blais cookies,” you laughed. “Text me when your next day off is, and we’ll see about those cookies.” And then, because apparently you couldn’t stop doing impulsive things tonight, you pushed up on your toes to kiss Vince on the cheek before climbing into the car.

Your phone vibrated in your cupholder less than five minutes later, and you knew without checking that it was Vince. 

[fuchsiagrasshopper]

Falling Together Part IV

Author’s Notes: Here it is, the finale! What fun it was writing for this mini series, and now I can’t wait to embark on something else. Thanks to you lovely readers who made this a fun journey. If you have ideas on what you want me to write next, let me know in a comment or message. Enjoy!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Word Count: 2977

Warnings: light angst

From his time as King of Kattegat, Ivar had taken many lessons from his failed ruling. He was intuitive, and would never make the same mistake twice. The people had followed him in battle, feared him, revolted against his crown until finally, he had crept away in exile. After all of that, there was one challenge he had never faced, and it was an illness.

The fever first started as a whisper,  maybe one or two elderly succumbing to a quick death. It was nothing out of the ordinary, and it had not caught the attention of the healers. But as able-bodied warriors began to grow weak and pallid, and children dropped weight, the alarm was raised. 

The first blow came when Hvitserk fell ill. He had shown signs during a discussion regarding the start of the fever, and now he was housed with the others in a large makeshift tent in the center of the city. The sick were kept away from the healthy, and only the healers came and went at their own peril. They tended to the infirm without complaint, even as it kept many of them isolated from their own families.

Ivar had heard stories of when the plague had crossed through Kattegat from Bjorn. A half-sister he would never know had been taken by the illness. He was reminded of this tale because of Hvitserk's condition. Fear was ever-present in his mind about losing his brother, and he had been passing along messages to the healers to take to him. Even though they refused to let him be by his side, he wanted Hvitserk to know he wasn't alone.

"We need to do something for the healers," You said, your voice bringing him back to the warmth of your chambers.

Ivar turned to you and watched you in silence. The occurrence of the fever had taken a toll on you as well. Memories of your mother's early death had been brought up in the still of the night as you lied together. Though he didn't have the words to comfort you, he had held you close, skin to skin, your air mingling together as you each took turns whispering soft things of care.

"Any provisions we don't need will go to them first," He said, coming to sit beside you on the bed. Dáire was sleeping against your leg, and Ivar ran his fingers through the dog's hair.

"I've written to Father, and he has agreed to send food and linens. We'll have to send men to retrieve the cart. I don't want outsiders risking coming through the gates."

You were calm and pragmatic in the face of turmoil, and Ivar was grateful to have you by his side. He leaned across Dáire, reaching for you to lay a quick kiss on your temple. You replied with a short laugh.

"What was that for?"

"For being strong. I have never dealt with illness among the people, but having you here has helped me with the difficult decisions."

You took his hand from your face and gave a kiss against his palm. "It's something we have to do, right? When the people suffer, we have to be strong."

You were strong, and with the both of you together, Ivar felt invincible. But there were the first signs of exhaustion creeping up. He felt it in his frail bones and saw it on your face. This was an invisible enemy, and no amount of brute force could be submitted. It was an isolating situation, helping the people from afar and relying on the information from the healers. The air in the city was reek from the sick, and the ground damp. Neither of you ventured out from the Great Hall unless it was of the utmost importance.

"Rest," Ivar told you, gentle but firm. "The people will need you."

'I need you' was what he wanted to say, but your eyes had grown heavy, and Ivar didn't like how warm your hand felt in his.

You agreed without complaint, and Ivar didn't mind that Dáire was nestled between you. He settled into sleep as well, for the few hours he could. He had been awoken in the night the past while by thralls or guards with updates on the illness, and he couldn't afford to squander a chance at rest. Turning to face you, Ivar pulled the furs over and let his eyes close, falling into a fitful sleep.

ooOOoo

It was still dark when your eyes shot open. Your chambers were filled with shadows in the small light of the candles that burned low. The season was late, but you were warm and covered in sweat. A sinking feeling woke you, something you had been trying to hide from your husband. In the past few days, your appetite had vanished, and an increasing malaise had taken hold. 

You jumped out of bed, jolting both Dáire and Ivar awake. An empty chamber pot was near, and you lunged for it, landing hard on your knees as you emptied your stomach. With your head buried, and your hair falling around your face, you couldn't make out what was happening around you. The room fell into chaos. Ivar was already shouting for a healer, and Dáire was running around, whimpering frantically.

"(Y/N)," Ivar called, combing your hair away from your face. 

You didn't know when he had joined you on the ground, but you pushed at his chest with a weak hand. "No, stay away. You'll get sick."

"I'm not leaving you," He barked back. "Nothing can stop that. We share everything together. I'm already at risk."

Dáire let out a growl at the guard that came into the room. He had two thralls and a healer with him, and they worked to separate you from Ivar. You were maneuvered back onto the bed, while one of the thralls took Dáire out from the room. Your husband refused to leave at the order of the healer, occupying the chair at your side with an immovable resolve. 

A cool cloth was draped over your forehead, and the healer was grinding down herbs for you to drink. You had lost control over what was happening, your body spent while everyone else spoke around you. Your head was stuffy, and you felt bloated even after retching.

"For the time being, you should room elsewhere, my King. And your wife should be put into isolation with the other sick," The healer said.

"No, she'll remain here with me," Ivar argued. "I will help look after her."

You felt the first drop of hot brew as the healer tilted your head up to drink the medicine. The taste was aromatic and bitter, and you hoped your empty stomach would be able to keep it down.

"How long has she been showing signs of the fever?" The healer asked Ivar.

"This is the first time I've seen her sick."

A wave of guilt washed over you for keeping your symptoms hidden. "It started a few days ago," You murmured.

You could barely make out what was being said by the healer, but you could see the anger and disappointment furrow Ivar's brow. Your marriage was a strong union and without lies. Downplaying your sickness had simply been about sparing him of the worry you now knew he felt. On top of Hvitserk being struck with the fever, and managing the concerns of the people, you didn't want to be his burden. 

When the guard stepped out, and the thralls were ordered around by the healer  Ivar took your clammy hand in his.

"If you weren't sick, I would be furious at you for your silence."

You smiled while running the cool cloth down your face. "That's unlike you to hold back. I like our arguments."

"Then I'll save it for when you are well again."

That was more on par with the Ivar you had come to know. From tales of his mother to the boat builder, Floki, you knew your husband struggled with loss. So he chose to deal in absolutes. He couldn’t fathom losing you from the sickness. 'When you are well', as if saying it aloud, it would keep you from death.

Your own mortality was not something you had considered until now either. When your mother had been taken by fever, she had still been young, and you wondered if she had thoughts about her own death before succumbing to it.

"I need to get word to my father that I've taken to bedrest," You said, pushing yourself up in bed.

"I'll help with that," Ivar said while easing you back down to rest.

It would be the first time Ivar would get to test his writing skills after your teachings. The thought would have made you happy had it been under better circumstances than informing your father you had taken ill.

The throbbing feeling was back in your head, and the fever made your eyes burn. You allowed your lids to shut, hoping to rest even if you were too worried to sleep. Thoughts of the people suffering weighed heavily on your mind, and you did not want to leave Ivar to deal with everything. You were aware that he was at your side, and you soon succumbed to the will of your body, falling into much-needed rest.

ooOOoo

"You look like shit," Hvitserk said, the first words Ivar had heard his brother say in person since he had been taken to isolating with the others.

The days had advanced, and so had Ivar's haggardness. More bodies had been piled to be burned in a massive pyre, and it was decided that once the fever was swept away, a celebration would be held for the dead. It was just one of few things Ivar had wanted to give back to the people. Their hope was clinging by a thread, and he struggled in your stead to keep it alive.

Many others had managed to fight off the illness, which included Hvitserk who was now on the mend. He was thinner from the ordeal, but his appetite had returned with a fierce need to prove he could still devour a whole chicken in one sitting. Ivar was pleased, if not disgusted, to witness his brother's return to form.

"Did you want something?" He asked around a mouthful of meat, indicating to the rest of the spread down the table.

Ivar shook his head while nursing his mead, which had begun to cool. "I'll eat with (Y/N) later."

"How is she feeling?"

Ivar frowned as his thoughts continued to swirl around that same thought for the past week. The last wave of the illness was ending with fewer people falling sick each day. You still remained on rest in your chambers, and while the fever had broken on you two days prior, you were still showing signs of illness.

"She's fighting," Ivar said shortly.

"(Y/N) is strong. I don't think the Gods would choose this to be her end."

If it was he would renounce them all...but he couldn't give in to such caitiff thoughts. You might not have shared the same Gods, but he preyed they would all grant you more time at his side. His days without you were endless, and though he had not spoken the words aloud, he knew he loved you. It was difficult to comprehend when it had happened, but it was a simple thing. With Freydis he had been besotted by her beauty but was embarrassed to find he didn't know what else he loved about her. His marriage to you was different. What started as a strange and loveless affair had grown into what he had always searched for. Perhaps it had been too easy, and now the Gods wanted to take you away. 

"I owe much to her father," Ivar said, thinking out loud his train of thought. "Without the extra supplies and medicine, our losses would be much higher."

"And how's he handling the news of his daughter's illness?"

The first letter Ivar had written to King Conall had been with your dictation, but what you didn't know was Ivar had continued to write to your father in his own words. He was the only other man who could understand his position, and Ivar craved the guidance and wise words he was able to provide.

"When he first heard of (Y/N) falling ill, he had wanted to come here, and damned the chance of catching the fever himself, but I persuaded him to remain away."

"I'm sure Ragnar felt the same way after he returned to find Gyda had passed," Hvitserk said, and it was the first time either of them had mentioned her name. "I wonder what she was like."

Ivar didn't. Dwelling on the dead was something he had done for so long after his mother's murder, and he could bring himself to do it again. He was comforted by the idea that Gyda was reunited with her mother and father in Valhalla, even if it meant peace for Lagertha.

"My King," They were interrupted by your personal thrall. She appeared rather giddy, which had Hvitserk tossing him a confused look. "The Queen requests your presence in your chambers."

"Is she well?" Ivar asked, bracing to stand on his crutch. 

"Aye, she is eating again," The thrall replied with a giggle. "Almost as much as master Hvitserk."

Hvitserk let out a belch and a chuckle. "Odin had heard you, brother."

Ivar refrained from allowing his relief to get the better of him, but he started for your chambers as quickly as he could propel his body. It was the first time in days he was approaching your shared room with excitement rather than dread. Seeing you spread out in the center of the bed with the furs pulled down to stave off the fever had weakened his heart. He took the words of your thrall with a grain of salt, deciding he would determine your state for himself.

He burst forth through the threshold the moment he reached it and was met with the strong smell of fermented fish. You were propped up with furs and cushions, a plate balanced on your lap. Dáire was perched up on his hind legs by your side as you tossed him a scrap of food.

"You're awake," Ivar said out of breath. 

"And you came all this way to see me," You teased with a tired but pleasant smile. "I missed you."

Ivar shut the door and came to sit on the bed. "I've hardly left your side."

"I know, but I wasn't aware of much that went on around me, and I must have made for dreadful company."

The only dreadful thing had been when watching the color fade out from your face as you slept through the fever. A warm glow was set upon your cheeks again, and it was the first time he'd seen you eat whole food.

"How is Hvitserk?" You asked, interrupting his reminiscing of terrible thoughts.

"He remains eating any extra provisions your father had sent to us," He explained, and you laughed at the answer. "I should grab a healer."

Your hand reached out and tugged on his sleeve, keeping him in place. "Hlíf was already here before you came. She thinks I've been free of the sickness for two days now."

"But you were sick this morning," Ivar said, not understanding the healer’s interpretation. 

"Yes, and that will likely continue for a time," You paused and breathed a small laugh. "I'm with child."

Ivar's strange first reaction was to look down at your stomach as if expecting to find a curve to your middle. It was too soon to tell by looking, but that didn't stop him from reaching out and placing a hand down on your warm belly.

"When did you find out?"

"The healer told me this morning, but I suspected it was possible as the fever faded, and I still was waking up unwell," You said, your hand joining his. "What are you thinking?"

So many things, yet his mind was quiet. There was fear that the child wouldn't survive long enough to be born, or worse it would carry his affliction. He couldn’t do to you what he did to Freydis, but he wondered if he would see his own child as a burden, much as Ragnar saw him.

"Ivar," You whispered, moving in close. "Come back to me."

He blinked, seeing the worried look appear on your face. "I'm afraid when I should be happy. What if this child brings nothing but disappointment?"

"Only if we let it. We cannot control our fate, and if we fall off one path we won't stop. We'll take a new one together, with our child. I don't believe this is a miracle or a blessing, it is just the result of us falling in love, together."

"I thought good Christians believed in those miracles," He murmured, while brought to ease by what you had said.

You wrinkled your nose in disgust. "No God should be so lazy, and they can't claim responsibility for every child born of one breath."

Ivar pulled you down beside him on the, and he was pleased by the surprised shriek you let out. "I'll make a heathen out of you yet."

"I love you, husband."

He'd held on for so long without the need for love, but now as you offered it, so safe and simple, he knew he would take it all. It was different than any other time before, not smothering or conniving. It was a tranquil pool he could wade into without the worry of squalls or tidal waves. Ivar was grateful you had both fallen together. 

"Of course you do, and I love you right back."

@peachyboneless

@didiintheblog

@soleil-dor

@zuxiezendler

@pieces-by-me

@xbellaxcarolinax

@heavenly1927

@everyartistwas-firstanamateur

@youbloodymadgenius

@xceafh

@shannygoatgruff

@tgrrose

@1950schick

@castielsangelsx

@rastakami23

[agntofhydra]

Sawbones // TWO

(gif credit) 

summary: Red String of Fate Soulmate AU

Soul mates have a red thread tied to each others pinkies that only one of them can see.

You’re the Resistance’s head medic. You can see the red thread of fate that leads you to your soulmate. Poe doesn’t believe in the soulmate / thread theory. You don’t agree with his tactics, nor does he approve of yours. Leia and Holdo just really want a win.

pairing: poe dameron x reader

rating: mature for later chapters

read me on ao3! 

part one here!

read on till the end for notes! 

SAWBONES

TWO // PULLED TAUGHT

No.

You hadn’t been avoiding him.

You were busy. Taking inventory, filling out incident reports, stocking, taking care of your patients - which, you noticed, had decreased in number over the last couple days. And you knew why.

Someone must’ve been taking better care of their pilots.

Jasti was released the morning after the whole - for lack of a better term - ordeal. She’d heard your violent retching and had banged on the door, asking if you were okay.

Your vision was white, and after about two rounds you were dry heaving. No fucking way, your mind rattled. The revelation shook you to your core. You were happy being unsuspecting, ignorant of the fact that your soulmate had been pittering around D’Qar for literal months while you sat in your office, pissing off FX-7 and berating their antics in your head. The furrow of his eyebrows, the flicker of concern in his eyes at your sudden change in demeanor when you saw his pinky also had ingrained itself in your mind. Lingered every time you shut your eyes. You must’ve stayed in the refresher for an hour or two, senses numbed to Jasti’s incessant banging on the door.

You also weren’t good with conflict, and a conflict this was indeed.

What were you supposed to do? Tell him? Would he even believe you? Ziff said he didn’t trust the concept anymore, too many girls taking advantage of where he once was soft. Exploited that weakness until it was solid beskar.

So no, you didn’t tell him.

You’d stayed busy. He was busy, too. Per your objections, Leia had him and his squadrons flying more recon and actually formulating a real operation to investigate the cargo ship orbiting around Kessel. You’d heard that from whispers in the hallway, and you didn’t really want to venture out for any updates.

Turns out, you wouldn’t have to.

As if your thoughts had summoned him, Poe was dragging a pilot from blue squadron into your medbay, one of their arms around his shoulder, one of his around their waist. His eyes were searching, panicked until they met yours as you flew from your office and threw the pilot onto the first open bed.

“What happened?” You asked, immediately checking for vitals. His skin was burning, clammy. FX-7 recorded his temperature and your heart dropped at the number.

“We were flying back, literally leaving hyperdrive when I was notified Blue Three was having trouble, and could barely steer his x-wing through D’Qar’s orbit.” Poe paused. “His skin is on fire.”

“I’m aware,” you tried not to bite back as you threw FX-7 an IV bag. You also did not dwell on the fact that Poe didn’t even know this pilot’s name. “Do we have hadeira serum?”

“You did inventory,” FX-7 duly responded as he inserted a needle into the pilot’s basilic vein. Poe cringed and looked away, eyes focused on you instead.

You hadn’t really done inventory, and you were cursing yourself for it now.

“Wait,” Poe frowned. “Hadeira? You think he’s got bloodburn?”

“He’s been in with a fever before,” you muttered as you rifled through the cabinet on the opposite wall. Poe followed, barking over your shoulder.

“And you didn’t ground him?”

You paused, closing your eyes for a second and taking a deep breath before returning to your search. You really didn’t need Dameron on his high horse right now, questioning your calls.

It was only fair. You had done it to him, you reminded yourself. That didn’t mean you couldn’t whip around and land one in the middle of his chiseled, ridiculously handsome and symmetrical face. You groaned audibly at not only your thoughts, but your inability to locate the literal life-saving serum.

“Back off, Dameron,” you said between your teeth as you all but sprinted back into your office where you kept the more valuable medicines. You unlocked the closet behind your desk with your hand and entered, eyes scanning the shelves. Once again, Poe followed.

“What’s wrong, doc? Don’t like it when people question your authority?”

You finally turned to him, slightly put off by the fact he was less than a meter away. You didn’t let it show.

“You wanna do this right now?” You raised your eyebrows. He crossed his arms over his chest and the thread around his pinky was directly in your field of vision. You held back the bile that rose in the back of your throat.

“His fever is so high that his blood is boiling right now. Which will kill him. So please, Dameron. If you think this argument is worth more than me finding the serum and saving his life,” you punctuated each word, “keep talking. But I’m not listening.”

Your eyes caught the vials to the right of his head, and he stepped out of the closet and into the expanse of your office as you grabbed the vials and quickly returned to the medbay where FX-7 had started hydrating the pilot. You handed the droid the hadeira serum and FX-7 made quick work of administering.

You let out a long breath. You weren’t totally in the clear, but it was as under control as it could be. Poe gave you a look and you nodded, silently telling him his pilot was okay. For now.

Poe stared at him for a couple moments longer, and once he was satisfied leaving him in the care of FX-7, he kicked your boot lightly.

“Can we talk now?”

Swallowing thickly, you nodded and led him back into your office. Poe sat down in one of the stark white chairs that matched the rest of your office as you locked the medicine closet. You turned around to him but kept your distance.

“What’s there to talk about?”

He bit the inside of his cheeks to keep him from grinning. “I don’t bite, y’know.”

You rolled your eyes, but nonetheless moved closer to him and sat atop your desk.

The red thread floated between the both of you, moving as if it was being jostled by the air currents in the room. Before you could even think, your left hand went to pluck at the string tied near the base of your finger. To your utmost surprise, the now tangible string pulled back due to your force. You let go in shock. The string vibrated and you watched the movement travel to shake the thread connecting to Poe. He coughed, left hand clenching and unclenching his fingers. You watched the action and met his eyes. Once again, he furrowed his brows.

“Why do you keep doing that?”

It was your turn to furrow your brows, and Poe continued, “Y’know. Looking into space and then turning pale like there’s a rancor in here that I don’t see. And then you look at me like it’s my fault?"

It’s now or never, you told yourself. Come clean.

“It’s nothing.” Coward.

Poe dropped the subject. “Anyways, you must’ve been swamped these last few days because you haven’t checked in to hear any updates on the cargo ship.”

Not trusting your voice, you just shrugged as your eyes rested back on the crimson that connected the two of you. Seeing it was definitely a curse. You tried not to dwell on how different things would be if it was Poe that could see it. What a weight off your shoulders that would be.

Maybe if he could see it, it wouldn’t be you on the other end, the voice in head told you. Poe was still rambling about Kessel and you definitely weren’t listening. You don’t want that, do you? For him to be soulmates with someone else?

It happened all the time though, people ending up with those who they weren’t tethered to. The galaxy was far too huge and vast, many people never having the opportunity to leave their home planet, let alone venture and seek out their soulmate. Some people, Poe included now, saw it as a myth, it was becoming so rare. You’d only ever known one pair of soulmates to meet in the years you’d been alive. Your parents.

Either way, your mind needed to slow down. You didn’t know Poe. From what you’ve seen of him, despite his impeccable physical features, you weren’t really a fan. But...just regarding his physical features? Big fan.

He snapped you out of your reverie. “Stars, you are infuriating.”

You apologized, placing your hands in the front pockets of your medic coat in hopes to ignore the thread, but it stuck out of the material of your pocket instead.

“There’s no harm in collecting more intel,” you told him. “Especially if it saves lives.”

He rubbed his forehead. “There is if it’s time sensitive! The ship could leave Kessel at any moment and then we’ll never know what was on it.”

You snorted. “You said it’s been in your knowledge for a while, been written off until now. I don’t buy it. I don’t know what you’re wanting from me, Dameron, but I won’t apologize. This is how I feel, and General Organa and Vice Admiral Holdo agree with me.”

“I want a common ground,” he said. Your gut twisted. “We met not ten minutes before you blasted me to pieces in that briefing room.”

“I don’t think you’re used to opposition.”

“I’m not.”

“You should always consider every point of view, especially for things like this. Have you heard about the terror running the First Order? You really want to face him in your little x-wing?”

Poe jerked his head. “Do not insult my ship.”

“Stars, Dameron, can you listen to a voice that isn’t your own for five seconds?”

“I was listening, obviously, ‘cause I heard your jab about my ship.” You could force-choke him right now. “But I get where you’re coming from. Where you’re more conservative and safe, I’m intuitive and risky and you hate it,” he said with a smile that met his eyes.

“I would call it impulsive and ill-informed,” you countered. You definitely didn’t hate bantering with him. You noticed subtly that over the course of the conversation, Poe had begun to move closer to you, inching closer and closer to the edge of the chair.

“Astute and adept,” he stood, tongue darting out to wet his lips as his eyes never left yours.

“Reckless and arrogant.” You didn’t want him to come any closer, unsure if you would either retch all over his shoes or bunch up the material of his brown leather jacket in your grip to pull him closer.

As if the stars were listening and answered, FX-7 appeared in the doorway. Your eyes broke from Poe’s, turning your attention to the droid and Poe followed suit.

“Pilot Nunb’s fever has broken,” it said. “He will make it through the night.”

Night? You realized you’d been so consumed the last couple days you’d lost all concept of time.

“Great news,” Poe said, turning from FX-7 back to you. “I need to go tell the rest of blue squadron.” Poe shamelessly looked you up and down.

“‘Till next time, Doc.”

Poe sidestepped the droid in the doorway without another glance at you. You remained on your desk, hands still in your pockets as you watched the thread disappear into the wall as Poe left.

“It is hardly relevant to speak in matters that pertain to humans,” FX-7 began, “let alone ones that concern my superior, but if I may?”

You couldn’t hide your confusion. FX-7 never spoke to you unless it was a medical matter. You nodded for him to go ahead.

“You are consumed with plenty. I caution against adding Commander Dameron to the list.”

You frowned. “FX, do you know about the soulmate thread?” What harm would it be to tell a droid? FX barely talked to you, and chances were zero that the droid would air this to anyone else.

The droid lifted its metal head up and down. “Yes.”

It was the most humanistic the droid had ever been, and you felt mildly miffed. Has FX-7 always been able to not be so robotic? You’d save that thought to be pissed about another time.

“I can see it,” you said quietly. “It’s tied to him.”

FX-7 was silent, motionless for a few moments and it almost seemed like he had powered down. “That is…” he paused. “Inconvenient.”

“Yeah, I know,” you said, hopping down from your desk. Your hands left your pockets to run through your hair as you tried to clear your thoughts and just breathe.

“Is that why you have busied yourself more than usual?”

“Didn’t wanna deal with it,” you nodded. “Still don’t.”

“That will only prove to make things more arduous. You have two options when it comes to Commander Dameron, and you know which I favor. For the good of the Resistance and your work.” FX-7 then left the doorway to your office as promptly as he had arrived.

✗ ✗ ✗

You fell asleep in your office that night, or maybe it was morning by the time you collapsed against your desk. Despite FX-7’s confirmation, you couldn’t let yourself go back to your quarters when the pilot in your medbay was teetering on the cusp of cardiac arrest.

Leia Organa woke you by softly brushing the hair out of your face. Your head lifted instantaneously, a paper stuck to your cheek. You quickly removed it and smoothed down the rest of your hair to at least try and look presentable.

“General,” you regarded her, standing up from your seat. She smiled softly at you.

“Doctor, I apologize for waking you.”

You shook your head and tried not to wince when you peeked at the digital numbers glaring at you upon the wall.

“I needed to be awake, anyways. I’m late for rounds,” you muttered the last part to yourself.

“I came to update you on the operation,” she moved back around your desk and sat down in the seat Poe had occupied only a few hours prior.

“We’ve received intel that the TIE fighters stationed in front of the ship are no longer there, presumably to return to the First Order to refuel or receive maintenance. It’s a narrow window, but Commander Dameron and both Red and Blue squadrons have departed a few hours ago to hopefully investigate that cargo ship.”

You nodded at her words and contained the frown from surfacing on your face. Your stomach knotted, fearing that the absence of First Order protection was all too convenient, and they were falling into a trap.

The First Order was smart, something you had learned first hand. You’d been on their radar for as long as you could remember. The bad guys needed medics, too.

Some of your peers that you had completed medical school with had left to join, and ultimately you couldn’t blame them. The offer was tempting, yet mostly threatening. Most of them joined more out of fear than anything. You had been moments away yourself, but instead you were here. On D’Qar. A vital part of the Resistance. If you were someone who believed in such phenomena, you would swear the galaxy itself had made sure of it.  

“Have you heard anything since they left?” You asked.

Leia shook her head, trying to hide her worried expression. “They’re in good hands. Poe is the best pilot I’ve seen since…” She stopped herself. “He’s the man for this.”

“So I’ve heard,” you said. “I hope he proves me wrong. And also brings every pilot back in one piece.”

“Together, I think you two would make quite the formidable pair.”

“With respect, General,” you tried not to snort at her words. “I think it’s better if we keep our distance. Our stubbornness might tear a rift in the galaxy.”

“Or,” she winked. “It could bring it together.”

You had no response.

“I’ll be back should there be any word from Poe, and - “

Leia’s words were cut off by the familiar screech of a x-wings cutting into the atmosphere and landing on the runway.

Wordlessly, the two of you all but sprinted from the medical wing out into the open, expansive area that was the runway. Countless others were surfacing outside, watching the ships land and be courted off into the hangars for repairs. From what you could tell, they all looked fine. No exposed wires or blaster burns. For the most part, the squadrons looked untouched. The last ship to land was Poe’s black and orange T-70.

The second the x-wing was stopped, Poe all but threw himself from the cockpit, shucking his helmet off and chucking it at the ground. BB-8’s body blurred as the droid tried to keep up with his long, quick strides. His eyes met Leia’s first, immediately spurning his feet to turn in her direction. When he eventually realized you were also next to her, his eyes all but physically set you on fire.

You held your breath as he crossed the runway. Poe looked downright dangerous, he was so angry. Leia noticed this too, but did not change her demeanor as she waited patiently for him to come to her, hands clasped behind her back.

“Mission report, Commander Dameron,” she said.

“Can we discuss this somewhere else?” Poe asked as he stopped walking, finally reaching his destination. BB-8 rolled up a second later. His eyes flicked to yours.

“We can, but the Doctor will be there regardless.”

Poe wanted to scream.

“The mission went as smoothly as expected. We were met with no First Order resistance or ambush as we docked and investigated the cargo ship.”

“And what did you find?”

Poe took a deep breath, calming his heartbeat that was deafening in his ears. His fists clenched and unclenched, and unfortunately the thread was still there. Except this time, it was pulled taught between your bodies when it usually sagged with slack.

“We found spice, General.”

Oh.

Maybe you did believe in some higher power. There had to be someone pulling the strings behind this scenario. You wanted to laugh, point your finger and tell him ‘told you so’. But you didn’t, because the tension and anger in Poe’s body was so apparent that it looked like he was a chain pulled so tight it wasn’t a matter of if, but when he would snap.

So you settled for pursing your lips very tightly.

“Nothing else to report?” Leia questioned.

Poe shook his head.

“I’m glad you all made it back safe,” she said, putting her hand on Poe’s shoulder. “It was one mission, Poe. There will be other opportunities.”

He nodded, not meeting her eyes as Leia took her leave. The two of you stood in intolerable silence and you weren’t sure why Poe didn’t immediately sprint off as soon as Leia left.

“I’m glad everyone made it back safely,” you spoke slowly, offering a metaphorical olive branch.

Poe cocked his head, eyes narrowing as he met yours. You braced yourself, waiting for him to maybe pull out his blaster and take you out on the spot.

“Save it,” he said, though his voice didn’t hold the venom you expected. “Do you want me to tell you that you were right?”

You shrugged. “Not required, but I’m not against it.”

He did not accept your poor attempt at lightening the mood. Instead, he sighed deeply and dragged a hand down his face.

“I look like a complete joke . Making such a big deal out of this whole operation, only to be completely and utterly wrong.” He laughed dryly, and you tried not to wince.

“But you know who was right? A fucking medic. The holier-than-thou doctor who doesn’t ever leave her medbay, but the one time she does she completely undermines everything.”

Of course, it was your fault. Poe didn’t want to face the fact that his lack of patience and impulsiveness had forced him and his whole squadron to investigate a cargo ship full of spice. Against your better judgement, you let him continue his diatribe. He continued, berating your position, your lack of expertise and inability to, how did he put it? Stay out of matters that don’t pertain to you. He seemed to have forgotten the minute detail that Holdo had asked for you to be there, even though you reminded him of that fact last night.

After a ridiculous amount of time, Poe eventually stopped to catch his breath. As soon has he did, he tried to continue.

“Not to mention - “

You cut him off. “Are you done?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I could go on all day.”

You crossed your arms. “I’m sure you could. Because you absolutely have the right to completely tear me down when we met for the first time a couple days ago.”

“I’ve heard enough about you,” Poe countered.

“As have I,” you clenched your jaw. “Your reputation precedes your rank, Dameron. You really think you’re going to earn respect and trust around the base when you’re running through every female here? You think that speaks well of your character? You think that’s Commander behavior?”

Poe interlaced his hands on the top of his head as he laughed at you incredulously.

“I can’t even stand to breathe the same air as you right now,” Poe said.

How fucking immature. You narrowed your eyes. “Then stop breathing.”

At your words, the red thread tightened around your finger painfully. So tight, it felt as though it was about to cut through and remove the finger entirely. Your other hand rubbed at your finger -  desperately, futilely trying to loosen the string.

Poe watched your action, and then sucked in a breath through his teeth as he grasped as his own pinky in pain. He noticed his movements mirrored yours.

“Wha-” he paused. “Wait - “ Two pieces clicked in Poe’s brain.

But it didn’t matter, because you were already retreating, your steps quick and purposeful. You were fleeing back to the medbay and away from whatever was about to come out of Poe’s mouth. You couldn’t deal with it, not now and probably not ever.

You didn’t miss the way his eyes watched your hands before watching his own, his forehead creasing with confusion, then what you hoped wasn’t realization. You didn’t think your actions obvious, but if he felt the same pain you did, it was impossible not to notice.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, your mind spiraled. Poe called your name, your actual name, but you were too far gone and nothing short of the force would make you go back to him.

This time, your interaction with Poe Dameron didn’t end with emptying your guts in the refresher, but by entering your office and locking it.

Small victories.

_ 

thank you all so so so much for all the positive feedback and support!! i love it!!! i’ve gotten a couple requests for a tag list so if you’d like to me to create one / be added to it just send me a message! also, if i made a playlist for this, would y’all be interested? lmk! xoxo. 

[moonsstarss]

Euphemia Potter and Sirius Black

The first time Sirius went to James’ house, was in the second break from their first year. James was going home to his family and he had asked him mom if his new beste mate could come with him to join them for Christmas.

At first, Euphemia didn’t approve of it, having another 11 year old in their house while she wanted to celebrate Christmas with her small family. But after having heard James talk about how the boy had a bad home situation, she said yes to James’ idea.

Euphemia and Fleamont were carefull with the black haired boy. They knew he was vulnerable, (even tho Sirius claimed he wasn’t) They were carefull because he do, in fact, was a Black. But after having him at theirs for one night, they realized he really wasn’t like a Black, not at all.

Sirius was polite, he smiled and talked a lot. He was nice to both Euphemia and Fleamont and he cared a lot about their son.

The first moment Euphemia realised how bad Sirius needed a real mom, was when she walked in on the boy having a nightmare one night.

Sirius was breathing heavily. Whimpering and silcent tears walking down his small face.

Euphemia softly touched Sirius’ cheek as Sirius flinched awake. He sat up fastly, gasping for air and breathing fast.

“Shhhh, its alright sweetheart.”

Euphemia hugged the boy close, ignoring the flinches and his shaking body. Just talking softly to him, telling him it was alright.

“Everything will be alright, shhh, it’s okay.”

Sirius had stopped crying, feeling safe here.

The second time Sirius was at James’ home, was when he was around 16.

He had had an awfully huge fight with his mother and father. Being beaten up and his body still shaking from the curses.

When he made the Potters he collapsed on the grass of their garden. Feeling the blood drip from his body and every bone felt broken.

He was gasping for air heavily, trying to breath but not getting any air. He saw everything going black, letting out a last frustrated cry.

When he woke up he saw Euphemia bending over him, looking worried, sad and angry.

Sirius let out another cry, trying to say he was sorry but not getting everything out of his mouth.

“Its okay hun, I’ve already told James and Fleamont. We’re all mad at the Blacks and we’re letting you stay here for as long as we can, we’ll find a solution.”

Sirius’ eyes changed from scared till peacefull.

He was home.

Sirius’ his body still hurted a bit but he was doing better and better. The Potters had taken him in, he didn’t think he’s deserve it but they hadn’t listened to that and had said it should’ve always been this way. He was one of theirs.

Sirius heard a knock on his door.

“Sweetheart, James is getting the food at the store with dad, can you help me with preparing the dessert?”

Sirius knew this was honestly just a moment for Euphemia to be with him. She had been trying to be as much with Sirius as possible. Let the boy show he was safe, and theirs. Sirius didn’t mind.

“Coming!”

As Sirius walked downstairs he saw Euphemia was already melting some chocolate. She gave him a sweat smile as he smiled back, rolling up his sleeves and putting his hair in a loose bun.

“You can call me mom you know, I’ve told you thousand times, you never say it.” Euphemia smiled.

Sirius shrugged.

After half an hour Fleamont and James came back as Fleamont spoke.

“... so as I talked to Mia she asked about what you were doing and I told her you were with our other son and-“

Sirius interrupted.

“Uhm, Flea- no wait. Uhhh. Okay listen... I really appreciate you guys calling me your son and all but I’m still a Black and you have James and I’m not your son as much as I’d love to be..”

James, Fleamont and Euphemia looked at the boy.

The short boy with the black hair till his shoulders. The boy who tried to hide his feeling even tho he was falling apart. The boy who always got a bright blush when James called him his brother.

James smiled. “It’s alright bro, you are my bother honestly you’re not going to change that.”

Fleamont nodded as Euphemia gave him a hug.

Sirius hugged back, closing his eyes knowing he didn’t want I any other way, really.

The third time Sirius was at the Potters was when he stood at their door, well Euphemia’s door.

Fleamont had died from Dragon Pox, and James... He was hiding, hiding with the love of his life. Lily and James were safe, together with Harry.

Sirius used to be the secret keeper of James and Lily, but he had changed with Peter last moment.

Sirius hAd to tell someone, anyone who listened really. He couldn’t tell his friends tho... There was a spy in the middle of them and Sirius didn’t know who it was. It could be anyone. He had to tell someone who would definitely not tell anyone else.

Euphemia had be the first person Sirius thought of.

She was James’ mom and would never ever betray him.

Euphemia opened the door, pointing her wand at Sirius.

“What did Sirius say to me the first time he met me?”

Sirius smirked, it had been truly hilarious.

“Hello miss Potter, I’m James’ new friend and I would like to inform that James once peed his pants while brushing his teeth walking on his hands.”

Euphemia laughed, letting her boy in.

“What’s wrong honny?”

“Well...”

After having talked to her for hours, Sirius finally felt a little lighter. Sirius had felt weird but he whole situation and didn’t really know what to do.

“So Peter is the secret keeper?”

Sirius nodded.

“Merlin I made a mistake didn’t I.”

Sirius talked silently, his head in his hands, shaking furiously.

Euphemia pulled him in a hug.

“You did nothing wrong, and it’s gonna be alright.”

Sirius nodded.

Two weeks later everything went wrong.

Sirius had sent Remus to Euphemia after having heard nothing of Peter.

He was going behind him, making sure everything went alright.

Sirius arrived at Godrics Hollow, his stomach hurting from the nerves and his wand ready. As he walked around the corner he began to run, seeing the house of James and Lily.

He only began to slow down when he saw no lights shining. The house wasn’t a house anymore. Only ruins were left.

Sirius began to feel hopeless.

“N-no! JAMES!”

He ran towards the house, not bothering to look around for anyone watching.

“JAAAMES!!! LILYYYY!!!”

He ran inside as the first thing he saw was his best mate lying on the stairs, motionless.

“N-no... No please no- James.”

Tears streamed down Sirius’ face as he felt his stomach drop.

He fell over his best friend hugging his bother close.

He only realised he still had to be strong when he heard a soft sound coming from upstairs.

“L-LILY?!”

Sirius ran upstairs, a second heartbreaking sight crashing over him.

Lily lying in the ground.

“Fuck-“

Another wave of tears hit him as Sirius realised the two most important people were dead.

Sirius heard a cry. Harry.

Harry was still sitting in his little bed.

Sirius took him out as fast as he could. Hugging Harry as close as he could.

“S-shhhh, it’ll b-be alright P-prongslet.”

He heard a loud sound as Sirius drew his wand. Tears still streaming over his face, holding Harry tightly with his other arm, protecting him at all cost.

It only took a few seconds when Sirius saw Hagrid. The giant had a sad look on his face as he looked at Sirius, who began shaking his head, crying harder, stepping back.

“N-no no no, please no, not Harry.”

Hagrid looked at Sirius with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry, Dumbledore’s order. Said I should get baby Harry to take him to his aunt ‘n uncle.”

Sirius shaked his head, disbelief showing in his eyes.

“No but, but he’s everything I have- please...”

Hagrid stepped closer as he pointed his umbrella at Sirius.

“I don’t wanna do this.”

Sirius kept Harry close to his chest. Thinking about Remus and Euphemia.

He gave Harry a small kiss to his head.

“T-take care of him.”

Hagrid took Harry as he walked away.

Sirius stood there, a numb feeling in his chest, breathing heavily, tears still streaming down his face. Hagrid had taken his motorbike.

Sirius slowly walked out of the house, seeing dementors everywhere. His eyes grew as he started running, the dementors on his heels.

Sirius heard someone scream, “THERE HE IS! ITS BLACK!”

Lights fired beside him as Sirius casted a protection charm.

After what felt like hours of fighting Sirius proceeded to arrive at Euphemia’s, hoping she and Remus weren’t also dead.

“EUPHEMIA! OPEN THE DOOR PLEASEE...”

Sirius fell against the door. Just when he thought he wouldn’t take it anymore, the door opened.

Euphemia opened it, her eyes full of concern.

“Oh sweathear-“

“They’re dead... Pettigrew killed them and they’re after m-me. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING... Please...”

Remus walked up behind the two of them as Euphemia was holding Sirius close.

A group of people of the minestry came running towards them, they heard them scream in the distance.

“WHAT DO I DO.”

Sirius was screaming hopeless, everything falling apart and not knowing what to do.

“Keep him safe, p-please keep Remus safe, and make sure y-you’ll get to take care of Harry, he’s alive, t-they’re taking him to Petunia and Vernon. I love you and thank you for everything.”

“No Sirius-“

The people of the minestry got close, Sirius felt a hand grab his clothes.

He screamed, seeing Remus run into the house.

He felt a hand hit him as Sirius hit and knocked everything he could hit.

Screaming and crying.

“Let him go he didn’t do anything!”

Euphemia was screaming against the people, trying to get her son back.

“MOMM! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE MOM HELP ME!”

Sirius stopped fighting back as saw even his Euphemia looked hopeless.

She stepped forward slamming the door behind her so Remus was safe.

“GIVE HIM A TRIAL! HES THE ONLY THING IVE GOT LEFT AND YOU WONT TAKE MY OTHER SON FROM ME! I WONT ADMIT BOTH OF MY SONS LEAVING IN ONE NIGHT, BESIDES, HES INNOCENT.”

The people of the minestry of magic stopped hurting Sirius as they loosened the grip, not letting go yet.

After what felt like hours Sirius was sitting in the middle of a large room. People of the hearing looking at him. He felt so small.

His body was hurting and he felt the bruise they aurors hit grow.

The Veritaserum he has gotten at the beginning of the hearing started to impact him and he felt like something was taking over what he was saying.

The minister was about to talk when he cought Euphemia’s eye, his mom smiled at him. Sirius have her a faint smile back.

“Tonight we gather around for the trial of Sirius Orion Black. Mister Black,” Sirius flinched as he heard the name. He hadn’t been called so since he was 16.

“Is it true that you were James and Lily Potters secret keeper?”

“Partly.”

“Partly?” The minister looked confused and mad.

“I was in the beginning, but we changed the secret keeper.”

“Ehhhjj- Okay who is the secret keeper now then mister Black?”

Again Sirius flinched.

“Peter Pettigrew.”

The whole hall was looking at Sirius.

After a short silence the minister spoke again.

“And we’re is, Peter Pettigrew?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“We found the finger of Pettigrew. It was the only thing left from him, you blew him up.”

“No, Pettigrew is an animagus, he transformed into a rat and ran away.”

“Why would Pettigrew be an animagus?”

“Be.... Because our friend Remus Lupin is a werewolf and because Pettigrew James Potter and I became animagus for him... It’s easier for animals to be with werewolfs...”

Sirius looked down, knowing Remus would be so mad... He looked at Euphemia, she gave him a comforting smile.

“Find Peter Pettigrew!”

Euphemia took Sirius home, his case had been dismissed, they were going to keep an eye on him untill they found Pettigrew but he was allowed to go home.

Sirius was crying softly, cuddled up by his mom in her car. Not able to wait to go home. To see Remus. He was exhausted.

Euphemia opened the door as Sirius ran inside.

Remus stood up instantly, running toward Sirius.

Sirius threw himself on Remus, tears and limbs everywhere. Remus let out a harsh laugh, keeping Sirius close as he cried as well.

Sunlight was slowly rising trough the windows. A new day had started.

Euphemia looked at Sirius, smiling softly as she wiped away a tear.

Her boy would be okay.

[flor3nces]

help me | spencer reid x fem!reader

AHHH OMG i am so in love with this. my heart yall. my heart :(. ugh im so so proud on how this turned out. this is sort of based off season 15 episode 9 “face off.” n e wayssss, i hope you enjoy this because i sure enjoy writing this <3

going alone was a mistake. i knew that the moment i spotted both of our unsubs together. two against one. it wasn’t going to end well. i should’ve called for backup when i had the chance but i didn’t.

“fbi! put your hands where i can see them!” i yelled. they turned around and my heart stopped for a moment. “drop the gun.” marcus was ruthless, he’d shoot a federal agent if he had too, or if he even wanted to.

marcus dropped the gun. “kick it over here. anthony drop the backpack.” he dropped the backpack just as his father kicked over the gun. i needed to pick up the gun and put into my holster before marcus even tried to make a move to get it back.

having to pick up the gun meant i had to let my guard down. i thought over it for a moments but kept a straight face and gun pointed at them. i started to lower my body to the ground but kept looking up every few moments.

it wasn’t until i got to the gun, that i completely let my guard down. i turned my head towards the gun, and that’s when i heard the gun shot. i didn’t have enough time to react as it hit just under my arm.

the gunshot sent me into the air. i landed roughly onto the concrete. marcus and anthony got into the car just a few moments after and sped off. i turned my head as the car rushed past me. my vision started to get filled with black spots but i didn’t let myself close my eyes.

i coughed and a bunch of blood came out. more and more blood gushed out. i was certain that at this point i was laying right in a pile of my own blood. tears welled up in my eyes as i started to cough again. blood covered my entire mouth and spilled over the side of my face.

spencer’s voice rang in my ears but i couldn’t move my arm to even try and let him know that i was shot. “y/n? where are you?” only a few moments passed before his voice came back. “y/n, do you copy?”

i couldn’t do anything. i just laid there, bleeding out in a garage of some building. i’d probably die in here if no one came in here.

footsteps. they were coming closer and closer. i didn’t even try and move my head. “y/n!” spencer. it was spencer. i wasn’t going to die after all. at least not here. “we need an ambulance, y/n’s down!” i heard spencer yell into his mic as he put pressure on my wound. “you’re going to be okay, okay? stay with me, y/n.”

i tried. i really did but my eyes were starting to get heavy and i was getting fairly tired. “no, no. hey, look at me.” i let my eyes find spencer’s face. “that’s it, look at me.” i coughed again and more blood came out. just as i was losing conscious i heard the medics rushing to spencer and i.

“stay with me, y/n.” i heard some woman say as they put me onto the stretcher. they put an oxygen mask over my face and wheeled me into the ambulance. that’s when i blacked out.

SPENCER’S POV

i watched as they wheeled y/n into the ambulance. i felt a hand on my shoulder. “go, we’ll find them.” i turned towards jj and sent her a tight lipped smile before running off to get into the ambulance before they took off.

“is she going to be okay?” my voice was shaky as i spoke. the nurse gave me a small smile. “she’s strong. she’ll make it.” i nodded at her words and held y/n’s hand.

it wasn’t until we got to the hospital when things went wrong. just as they were about to wheel her into a room her heart stopped. not only did her’s stop, but so did mine.

they ripped her shirt open and started to try and get her heart running again. i just stood there, helpless. i watched as the first try in getting her back, didn’t work. her body jolted as the defibrillator came in contact with her skin. “again!”

i watched as her body jolted once again. “she’s back!” i turned my head towards her heart monitor so fast, i could've gotten whiplash. and her heart was back to normal, or at least running again. thank god. i wasn’t going to lose her, at least not today.

“are you her husband?” a nurse i’ve never seen before asked me as i watched them wheel her away. “no, she’s- she’s not married.”

“are you her boyfriend?” i shook my head. “okay, i’ll call you when she’s out of surgery.” i walked to the waiting room they had for federal agents and waited.

the team called and asked to give them updates. penelope called and asked if she was okay, as soon as i answered the phone. “yeah, she’s in surgery right now.” i heard her let out a sigh of relief.

“please, call me as soon as you hear something.” i told her, i’d try and make her one of the first to hear about her condition.

it seemed as if i was waiting for hours. i ended up falling asleep only to be awoken by a smiling nurse telling me that she made it. i jumped out of my seat and asked to see her.

“of course, she’s in a coma right now. but she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” the nurse told me as she lead the way towards her room. i thanked her in a small voice before walking into her room.

as soon as i saw her laying there. with so many iv’s attached to her arm, tears welled up in my eyes. i stood by her, reaching over to push her hair out of her face.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, y/n. i should’ve realized that you were missing sooner. but i didn’t and because of that you almost died.

i can’t imagine a world without you. and i know how corny this is going to sound but, i would’ve hated myself for the rest of my life if i let you die without telling you how i feel.

truth is, i’ve loved you were since you walked through those doors. which is 6 years, 47 days, 5 minutes, and 39 seconds ago from now. i thought it was just a silly crush at first and i’d get over it but i didn’t.

the moment i realized that i might lose you cause my heart to stop. i’d say world but you’re my world. if they didn’t get your heart beating again, i would’ve lost my world...”

i stopped for a moment to let out a small chuckle. “just, please for the love of god, please wake up. i don’t know what i’d do if i lost you. please.. don’t leave me.” i didn’t even notice that i was crying until a tear landed on her hand.

i wiped it quickly. i pulled up a chair next to her bed and laid my head beside her arm. my eyes shut and i fell asleep rather fast.

i was awoken again by fingers going through my hair. i lifted my head up and turned towards the source. “hi.” y/n’s voice was a bit rough but it still came out as soft as she could make it. “hey. how’re you feeling?”

“well.. despite being shot, i’m okay.”

“that’s not funny. i thought i almost lost you. your heart stopped, you know?”

“i’m sorry, i just don’t want this room to be all sad.”

“no, it’s alright. i’m sorry for snapping at you.”

“hey, it’s okay. i’d be the same if this were to happen to you.”

her hand found mine and she began playing with my fingers. “you know, i was putting up a hella of a fight before i eventually lost?” i looked at her as she spoke. it was as if nothing else in the world matter because i didn’t lose her. i still had her and it wasn’t really the best moment to tell her how i feel but before i could change my mind the world came flying out of my mouth.

“i love you.” silence engulfed the room quickly. “i love you too, spence.” y/n said after a while. “no, not like that. y/n, i’m in love with you and i have been for the past six years.”

i avoided eye contact with her at all cost as i just confessed how i felt towards her for the longest time. “spencer, look at me please.” i slowly looked up and met her eyes.

her pupils were very dilated and i couldn’t believe i didn’t see it sooner. “god, you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to hear those words.” her giggles filled the room and it felt as if my heart would burst from my chest. “i’m in love with you too, spencer.”

a huge smile made its way onto my face. in fact it was so big that it started to hurt. “now, are you just going to sit there smiling like a huge dork or kiss me?” i laughed at her words and leaned in to kiss her,

and i know almost everyone says this and i truly didn’t believe them at all when they said that they felt as if fireworks were going off or that there were butterflies fluttering around in your stomach, when you kissed someone you love. but goddamn, i sure did believe them now.

unfortunately, we had to pull away as our lungs were begging for fresh air. “wow.” i laughed at her expression. “yeah.” she softly kissed my nose and leaned back, smiling up at me with the softest smile i’ve ever seen on her face.

“oh my god! why didn’t you call me?!” i heard penelope yell. y/n turned her head towards her and smiled. “please, don’t yell. my head already hurts enough from these lights.” i watched as garcia gasped. “oh! i am so sorry.”

YOUR POV

“wait! so he confessed his undying love for you?” penelope asked as she had gotten settled in. spencer left to go try and help with the case but called every 20 minutes.

“yes, and then he kissed me. my gosh, can you believe it penny?!” she let out a squeal. “was it magical? did you feel butterflies in your stomach?” i nodded at her words and let put a dreamy sigh.

“we have to tell the others!”

“no. not yet, please. i just want to enjoy for a few days before telling the team.”

“oh sweetheart you know i can’t keep secrets.”

“please, penelope. can you try?”

“of course! you, my gorgeous friend, just got shot. i will do everything in my power to keep quiet.”

“thank you.” just as we were about to watch a movie on garcia’s personal laptop, spencer walked in. “ugh. you have the worst timing ever, boy wonder! we were about to watch a movie but now that you’re here she’s going to have all her attention on you.” penelope whined.

“nice to see you too, garcia.” spence said as he looked at me confused. i shurgged as i knew that she wasn’t about to let him have any of my attention. “watch this moive with us. she’s not cleared to leave until tomorrow so until then i’m going to stay here with her.”

“no, that’s okay. you can go home peneople. i’ll stay here with her.” i watched as she give him the biggest death glare i’ve ever seen her give to someone. “i am staying her with her, you can leave.”

“okay, why don’t you both stay here.” i look at garcia as she nods her head and presses play on her laptop but not before giving spence another death glare. i lean up towards spencer’s ear. “if looks could kill, i’m pretty sure you’d be dead by now.”

“trust me, i know.” we both giggled. i gave him a soft kiss before cuddling up into him and turning my attention towards the movie.

[wing-ed-thing]

Cabaret (Might Guy x Reader, Part II)

Notes: OOOOh she a long boi. Enjoy, you won’t believe how many edits this went though. Time to throw this out into the void.

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIIIChapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI 

Summary: You can't stand Might Guy. Honestly, how could anyone be so boisterously unaware and sickeningly positive? Your heart sinks as the both of you are teamed up to infiltrate and collect information from the Hidden Sound's gritty nightlife. Maybe losing yourselves in the dark of the underground will help you both come to an understanding.

You shifted your pack full of equipment on your shoulders and patted yourself rapidly on the cheek in an attempt to snap your groggy features into liveliness. It had been a long, restless night. You kept thinking about the mission. The case file had creased in certain areas of the pages the more you thumbed through it. Your bag was packed and repacked several times. Last night, it seemed as if the moment you returned to your bed you felt the urge to get back up.  

Exhausted, you stood in front of your mirror on your way out the door. You tucked your hair in a bandana. You were used to wearing civilian clothes, but the lack of forehead protector was never something you could get used to. It meant that you were a kunoichi of the Leaf and it felt wrong to not bear the symbol of your home.

You locked the door to your tiny apartment and headed the direction of the Konoha gates. It was early, much too early for anyone to be out. At the horizon, the sun was still a bit away from rising. Nature stood still, calm, and silent. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, you were used to waking at this time. It was not because of your own will, but because of a certain loud-mouth training outside your window. You shuttered, thinking about your fellow Jounin and his mini. Yes, he did have a “mini” now, but didn’t mind the Mini-Might as much as you minded his mentor. His mentor was the one that would go on earnestly about “youth” in front of your apartment while you were trying to sleep. Irritated, you promised yourself every morning that you’d storm down there and give Guy a piece of your mind. For some reason, you never did.

You tried not to think about your unfortunate travel partner and focus on the giddiness that always overtook you when you were assigned to covert missions. It really brought you a certain kind of joy to know that Tsunade thought of you for this. It was no wonder; undercover information gathering was your specialty after all. You were a clever prosthetic cosmetician, the best in the Leaf if you might add. With your skills to bend your appearance combined with your signature jutsu, you lived for times like these. You didn’t know what it was. Perhaps, it was the satisfaction that came with becoming someone else completely. Maybe, it was the thrill of extracting information from the most unwitting of targets that gave you such a rush. You could feel it in your core. Anyone can make a flimsy transformation, but you? You were the real thing. The feeling coursed up through you to extract a small squeal of joy from your lips as you nearly skipped along your way.

That feeling came to a sudden halt as you noticed the outline of Might Guy standing, waiting for you. He would be early. You should have expected that. You remembered why you were less excited about this mission again. As you approached, his figure grew larger. Now, while you were used to wearing civilian garments, you were definitely not used to Guy wearing civilian garments. He stood in front of you. His outer shirt was loose. A darker olive green undershirt ran down his arms and bunched up around his elbows. You didn’t think there was ever a day that you had seen Guy without his signature jumpsuit. No, you believe you saw him once in mourning robes at a funeral. But did that really count?

“Guy-san,” You called out almost tentatively as you came into his view. You were so used to that gaudy thing he wore that you might not have recognized him under normal circumstances. “You’re early,” you pointed out stiffly.

“No, not at all, (Y/N)-san,” He told you. His charisma was deafened compared to usual but it still shone through as was typical of Might Guy. He was a bit tense. It must have to do with your conversation with him the previous day. You couldn’t help but mentally pat yourself on the back, gloating to yourself that he should know to limit talking to you. You stuck up your nose in a huff.

“Well if you’re ready, we should probably get going.” You strolled past him, not even giving him the slightest glance. “We have 30 hours ahead of us.” You pointed out as you started out towards the forest. You ran up the nearest tree and sprang into a front flip. The branch shook lightly as you landed, hardly turning before you began to skip along the trees. You made it a point not to look back, sure that Guy was only a short distance behind you.

Once again, you enjoyed silence. The breeze from your rapid movement whirled in your ears. Your hair rippled in the wind. The air of the forest seemed more crisp than usual. It was dense ahead with intricate branches shooting in every direction. Guy’s figure appeared in front of you. With a scowl, you sped up in front of him, bounding ahead. Guy called out to you, but you were too focused on your game. No way you weren’t taking the lead on this one. You gripped the first branch that obstructed your way. Using it for support you channeled your momentum into a midair cartwheel. You free fell head first, you heard yelling after you. You caught another branch and launched yourself back into the air like a trapeze artist with a burst of chakra. There was nothing more freeing than being a kunoichi.

But once again, you were reminded of the damper as Guy appeared in your peripheral. You rolled your eyes, wondering why Might Guy had to ruin everything for you. You continued your intricate gymnastics.

“We should probably talk about the mission.” He spoke from somewhere behind you. You sprang ahead, pretending not to hear. You dove and Guy had no choice to follow as you continued flipping and somersaulting through the air.

That was when you felt it and your smile was quickly diminished. Something was off about this area of the forest. You stopped, hand against the trunk of a tree you sat quietly. Guy appeared next to you wondering why you stopped. You wordlessly sped forward once again.

You sensed something but was unsure what it was. You attempted to focus but Guy kept calling to you. The two of you were deep in the forest. You shot through the air faster and faster, trying to locate what else or who else was in the forest with you. You could feel one… two… You couldn’t focus, Guy kept calling to you.  You got this horrible feeling. It was like a fluttering in your chest and a pit in your stomach. You felt off, distracted. You tried to shake the feeling over and put your power into reaching your full speed. You were getting close. Close to finding whatever was out there-

A hand latched onto your right wrist. Unwittingly but without hesitation, you reversed your momentum into a kick. Guy blocked your leg, letting go of your arm and you both skidded onto another large branch. You crouched in a defensive position.

“What the hell is your problem?” You snapped at your partner. You had never seen Guy so serious.

“Tell me what’s going on.” He demanded it softly, but sternly. You looked around you. The two of you were out in the open. You could sense something close by. Leaves rustled.

You ran towards him without time to think, pushing him to the base of the tree before you were struck. You gritted your teeth as the skin on your shoulder just barely split.

“You gave us away, you idiot!” you grunted. Losing traction on the rough bark of the tree, you plunged along with the kunai knife that struck you. There wasn’t enough time to recover. The ground erupted into a puff of smoke as you hit the forest floor. You howled, immense pain pooling in your left shoulder.

Guy had made his way down from the trees, but not before three figures surrounded you. Two of them faced Guy while the third gripped you by the hair, dragging you up from the ground. You growled, trying to not cry out from the pain.

“What do we have here? Travelers from the Leaf?” One barked.

“Looks like it!” the one with the grip in your hair proclaimed. You observed him as best as you could from your disadvantaged vantage. They seemed to just be robbers or possibly scouts. You weren’t sure. While they didn’t seem heavily armed, they were in a three man squad bearing the Hidden Sound symbol. They caught the two of you off guard. This one wouldn’t be easy. “Why don’t you guys rough up the boyfriend? See what he’s got on him.”

You shifted, both you and Guy were in trouble. You tried to move the arm you landed on, but you were only met with pain and failure. You tried to take a look at your captor. If you could just touch… You reached up to grab his hand with your right one. Cloth. Gloves. Dammit. The man looked down, tugging your head down harshly, “Aw don’t worry, sweetheart, I didn’t forget about you.”

You could hear Guy fighting, but your lowered head couldn’t see much of anything. You felt your captor’s sleeve brush against your knuckle. There it was. Stretching, you swiftly slid your hand up under his sleeve. Your fingers touched his skin but just barely. You tightened your reach as your chakra gathered in your fingers. The ninja behind you slackened as you maneuvered yourself to face him, still gripping him in a forearm handshake as his legs locked. You could still hear Guy. Your other arm dangled at your side.

You took him in, absorbing his face. His grey eyes, the scar that bisected his face, his heavy-set jaw. You never forgot a bitch.

“Who are you?” you demanded, hearing the sound of battle behind you. He was dazed. More chakra gathered around your hand. You could see the consciousness in his eye slowly diminish. “Look into my eyes,” you requested firmly. His eyes met yours. “I asked you who you were and what you want.”

“W-we are, we are,” You started deeply into his eyes. “We are of the Sound.”

“Yes, you are,” You whispered, beginning to stand. The ambusher swayed. “And what are you doing in the forests of the Land of Fire?”

“We’re here. We’re here in the forest. Forest of the Land of Fire.” You weren’t getting the answers as quickly as you wanted. You sent another surge of chakra to your hand, quickly moving your grip from his arm to his face. You did it quickly. In the split second where you weren’t touching, you saw his senses start to return to him. You put a stop to that as soon as your hand reached his cheek.

“Yes, tell me why. Why is the Sound pushing the border?” The potential scouting ninja parted his lips. You concentrated, attempting to keep your hold on him for just a bit longer. Sweat began to drip down your temple. Your hand moved to his forehead. “Tell me.”

He was gone, completely under your spell. He opened his mouth to speak. It was hard to control with one hand, but you couldn’t help but congratulate yourself on finishing this mission one day in. Minimal injury and you found a helpless underling who would tell you everything. You really hit the jackpot.

That was, until your prey was ripped from you like a fly torn from a spiderweb. You felt him slip through your fingers. His body slammed into the tree behind him, the trunk buckling from the impact. Might Guy stood over him. You looked behind you, the other two scouts were out as well, bleeding profusely. You stood from your kneeling position.

“Guy, what the hell?! I had that one wrapped around my finger until you ruined it!” You stormed over to him in a rage. “What the fuck is your problem? Didn’t I tell you to not get in my way? I knew you’d do this, Might Guy!”

Guy took your lashing, face uncharacteristically stoic for the length of your tantrum. You cursed him, going up to the crippled ambusher. You put your right hand on his face, chakra flowing through your fingers. Like you expected, your jutsu didn’t work. You whipped around to Guy.

“We could have been done with this mission before it started!” you exclaimed. You kept grumbling while Guy stood straight-faced and silent. He listened wordlessly and patiently as you ranted. Throughout all the name-calling and blaming, not a word left his lips. You finally ceased when you began to run out of air. Guy stood tall in front of you, facing you as an equal. He had the same stoic and serious face as before. You listened.

“We are on a mission together. Whether you like it or not, that was Lady Tsunade’s call.” He crossed his arms. He wasn’t angry or vindictive in the way he spoke. He was just... Guy. “You are my partner and I was assigned, no, ordered to protect you. I will continue to do that as that comes down from the Hokage. Dislike me all you want, but I ask that you save it for when we get back. We’ll have to work very closely for this mission, so it would benefit us to have a civil partnership.”

Your face burned and you avoided his gaze. He was right. And unlike you, he didn’t have such a short fuse.

Guy approached. “May I?” You hesitated but soon nodded. He laid two strong hands around your arm and shoulder.

“It’s dislocated.” You remarked. He hummed, snapping your shoulder back into place in one swift movement and you let out a string of curse words. He said nothing, offering you a hand to test the movement in your arm. It was sore, but you could move the joint again. Your hand lingered in his. You looked up into his eyes, lingering there too before you quickly retreat your hand and look away.

You tentatively stretched your arm again. “Thank you, Guy-san.” Those words in that order felt unnatural to both of you coming from your mouth. Odd, but not something you couldn’t get used to.

“Are you okay to get going again?” You nodded and the two of you sprang back up to the trees.

It was once again silent as you traveled with Guy. Despite a lack of exchanging words, you passed the time lost in thought. Why would Sound bandits be so far into a forest in the Land of Fire? You thought back to the ambush, the tight spot you were in, and Guy. You thought back to the information you almost got, Might Guy taking on three of the enemy at once. His frame as he came to your rescue. Your hand in his. You nearly tripped at the thought.

“Are you okay?” Guy asked as you recovered from your stumble.

“Yes!” You told him quickly.

You tried to focus on the three that ambushed you. You wondered what that one bandit was going to say. Nonetheless, this was confirmation of what Tsunade had told you. There was something stirring in the Sound.

Dusk was closing in. The sky was various shades of pink and purple as both you and Guy decided to set up camp for the day. You finally got to stand still, your pulse beating rapidly from your travel. Your calves burned. Both of your packs hit the ground. Guy worked on getting a fire started while you laid protective jutsu around your campsite. You stood, breathing in, focusing on your surroundings. The two of you were completely alone.

“So,” you began. You weren’t used to talking to Guy. For whatever reason it made you so flustered! You hated being flustered. “You wanted to talk about the mission.”

Guy blinked at you. “Yes, I did.” You sat by the fire, gesturing for Guy to sit as well. The silence was uncomfortable. You took out a ration of food you carried in your pack and Guy did the same.

“We should probably start using each other's new names.” You offered. Guy only nodded. You continued, scuttling to make nice conversation, “Umm… The informant put in a word for us at the club. Eh… I think my role is pretty obvious but what are they having you do?”

“Bartender,” Guy stated matter of factly.

“You, a bartender?” You asked, quirking your eyebrows. “I would never have expected you to bartend.”

“Oh yeah! People are surprised all the time,” Guy chuckled. He perked up with his usual Might Guy gusto.  “I won’t lie to ya’ I’m pretty excited. According to Kakashi, I make the best Old Fashioned.” He began to smile.

You took in his jolly features. Maybe that was the reason you never yelled at him each morning.

“I’ll have to put that to the test,” you joked weakly. You gave a small smile as you looked at your lap. Happy was a good look for Might Guy, you decided.

“I don’t think you’ve ever smiled around me,” Guy remarked. “Or at least at anything I’ve said.”

“Why would I?” you snapped out of habit. You paused, feeling guilt creep up on you. Before you could apologize, Guy burst out laughing. You laughed nervously along with him.

“You’ve always been a feisty one!” Guy proclaimed, “You have the fire of youth in your heart.” You rolled your eyes. There he is talking about “youth” again, but you couldn’t help help but feel complimented.

“Thank you, Guy-san… um… Genki-san.” You responded. The words still felt foreign, but it was something you could get used to. The new name didn’t help. “You, uh… you do as, as well?” Flustered, your face started to heat up. You could just blame it on the fire.

“You can call me by my real name when we are alone,” Guy offered. He was slightly taken aback, but was encouraged by the olive branch you were extending. You were trying.

“Um, of course.” You cleared your throat. “Allow me to take first watch.” Guy looked at you. Were you trying too hard?

“No, let me. You need to rest that arm of yours.”

“Are you sure?”

“I recuperate quicker than most, I’ll be fine with less sleep.”

You accepted his invitation there, settling into your make-shift bed of a few blankets. You looked to the stars, projecting them onto the backs of your eyelids as you settled into sleep. Feelings swirled around in your gut. You still didn’t like Might Guy. You repeated that to yourself, though the more you said it, the less you believed yourself.

He’s just annoying, you thought to yourself. He’s a capable ninja, he’s just annoying.

Yes, that was it.

That’s what you’re going to tell yourself.

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

Hii!! ive seen alot of you're good sub stories, and i reaaly enjoyed it alot since you're the first one to ever done that, i was thinking maybe could you do a hoshi one, thinking that he's been replaced bcs he was jealous of minghao taking over his place?? and maybe some mommy kink play of him?? thanks alot!

Here you go!

⚠️Warnings⚠️: sub!Hoshi, fem!dom!reader, overstimulation, bondage, pegging, mommy kink.

Your Muse

There weren't enough words on the planet to describe how much you loved your boyfriend. Hoshi was the sweetest and cutest boyfriend that you had ever had. You were surprised when you had found out that he felt the same way, thinking it was a dream. While most people thought it would be tiring to date an idol but you had been working with idols for quite a few years. You worked as a photographer, and you had been lucky enough to spot Hoshi one day when you were taking a walk, finding him so beautiful that you just had to ask if you could take a picture. You had happened to run into him a few days later, and then the day after that one as well. You eventually decided to start talking to each other, leading to your perfect relationship. 

     Hoshi had never really been one for photography or anything like that, often opting to sit and wait for everyone else to finish and continue with his day. After he had met you, however, you always took at least one picture of him every time you went out together. You had always told him that he just looked so beautiful everywhere he went, so somebody had to capture the moment. Hoshi was the perfect model, you had told him at least a million times, always leaving him a giggly, flustered mess. You had even started calling him your muse, a nickname that he loved dearly knowing that out of the countless attractive idols you took pictures of, you had chosen him.

     While you had taken pictures of many different kpop idols and bands, you had never taken photos of Seventeen and Hoshi was determined to change that. Ever since he found out that their usual photographer couldn't make it to their next photoshoot, he had been dropping not so subtle hints to hire you. They eventually gave in and called to ask if you were free. You excitedly agreed, and decided not to tell Hoshi so you could surprise him. The morning of the photoshoot, you couldn't stop smiling as you were reminded that you would be working with your boyfriend. You quickly got dressed and you were pretty sure you might've broken a few laws to drive there as fast as you could. You had gotten there before the boys did so you could help with setting everything up. 

     The first thing you heard when the boys showed up was BooSeokSoon screaming about something, though it was cut off by a squeal as Hoshi locked eyes with you. He practically threw himself into your arms, almost making you fall over. The rest of the boys had been confused for a second, until they had finally put the pieces together when he began peppering your face with kisses. They had known that he had a girlfriend but they hadn't met you before. They had quickly introduced themselves and began the photoshoot after basically prying Hoshi off of you. 

     The photoshoot ran smoothly, and you had already taken pictures for the majority of them. Hoshi decided that he wanted his pictures done last, knowing that you would take a million more than you needed to. The next person you had to take pictures of was Minghao, which you had known was one of the members from China. He had seemed a bit confused at first when you began telling him what to do, seeing as you talked very quickly most of the time. Luckily, you had studied abroad in China for about three years so you were pretty fluent in the language. He seemed thankful upon hearing his native language and the photoshoot continued. You had accidentally taken more time taking pictures of Minghao than you thought you would. He looked absolutely stunning and almost any pose he did looked amazing. Seokmin was waiting patiently to get his pictures taken as he sat next to the others. He rested his cheek in his palm, letting out an exasperated sigh as he watched you.

     "How long has it been since Minghao stepped up? It feels like it's been hours." Seokmin said, turning to look at the clock. Hoshi turned to look as well furrowing his eyebrows as he realized how long it had been. 

     "I'll go see if somethings wrong, though there really shouldn't be." He said as he stood up and began walking over to you. He lightly tapped your shoulder to get your attention. You smiled once you had turned around and saw him. 

     "Hey baby, what's up?"

     "Nothing, nothing. We just wanted to know if there was a problem with anything because you've been working with Minghao for a while." You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at the clock, becoming surprised as you saw the time. 

     "Is it that late already? I must've gotten carried away then. Minghao, I think you're good for the day so you can go sit down now." He nodded and smiled at you and moved to sit with the others as Seokmin moved to get his pictures taken. 

     "So was there a problem with the camera or the lighting or something?" Hoshi asked, tilting his head adorably at you.

     "Oh no, Minghao was just a perfect model and I got carried away. He somehow managed to look good at every angle." Hoshi deflated slightly, feeling like something shot him through the heart. He had always prided himself on being your perfect model and hearing you call someone else that hurt. He pouted on his way back to his seat, resting his head on the table once he had sat down. After Seokmin and Woozi's pictures were done, they were allowed to take a break.

     Hoshi had decided to stop moping, reminding himself that you still loved him more than Minghao. After he had a few small snacks and sat with his bandmates for a while, he decided to go and talk to you. He felt that same pain in his heart as he saw you laughing with Minghao about something. He felt even worse as he saw you tell Minghao something that made him blush. He had tried to eavesdrop, but was disappointed as he heard you speaking in Chinese. He was about to ask Jun if he could come and translate for him, but was cut off as the director said that the break was over. You quickly finished up with everyone else and decided to stay a little while longer to take a few more pictures of your boyfriend, just for fun. The boys understood and left, bidding a quick goodbye, though Minghao said goodbye again as he passed by you with a bright smile that made Hoshi glare daggers into the back of his skull. You saw the sour expression on your boyfriend's face and furrowed your eyebrows.

     "Is something wrong baby?" Hoshi huffed and turned away from you.

     "Why do you care? Just go back to drooling over Minghao since he's just the perfect model." You stood confused for a second as Hoshi began to pack up both of your things, just wanting to get back home. You finally realized what he was pouting about and giggled.

     "Aww, is that what this is about?" He didn't answer, continuing to pack up his things. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't realize that it meant that much to you." You told him as you turned him around, forcing him to look at you and holding his face in your hands. "I really didn't mean it like that. Sure, Minghao's attractive and all but you're my baby, my muse, and I would never even think about choosing anyone else." He let out a quiet sigh.

     "I know, I know, it's just that you and Minghao seemed to get along so well. You didn't even talk to me during the break because you were too busy talking to him. I just- I don't like the fact that you two are bonding even faster than we did…" He trailed off, the floor looking much more interesting. You felt your heart crack slightly. How could he think you loved someone more than him?

     "No no no sweetheart, you have it all wrong. I was talking to him during the break because he was asking about the pictures. He's into photography so we talked about it for a little longer than I thought we would so I didn't get the chance to talk to you. I'm sorry if you thought I wasn't thinking of you baby." Hoshi looked up from the floor to look into your eyes, a small smile spreading on his face. He leaned forward to bury his face into your neck and wrapped his arms around your waist. You both just stood like that for a minute, content in each other's arms. Eventually he pulled back to press a loving kiss to your lips. 

     "I'm sorry, I guess I was just overthinking things." Hoshi said as he played with the hem of your shirt, a slight pout on his lips. You held his face in your hands again.

     "It's alright baby. I love you, more than anyone else in the world. Don't ever forget that." He smiled at your words, pulling you closer to rest his forehead on yours. 

     "I know, I love you too." He seemed to think for a second before a small smirk slowly spread across his face. "Y'know, maybe you need to remind me how much you love me…" He said slowly, gently grabbing your hands and bringing them to rest on his ass, "mommy." A shiver shot down your spine at the breathless way he had whispered in your ear. You let out a quiet growl and squeezed his ass, making him bite his lip.

     "Maybe I should." You both hurriedly shoved your things into the car and hurried home. As soon as you had arrived you pushed him against the nearest wall, pressing your lips to his in a heated kiss. There was no fight for dominance as your tongue pushed its way into his mouth, claiming it's territory. Hoshi brought his hands up to tug and pull at your hair and he whimpered into your mouth. You pulled away for a second with your hands gripping his waist. 

     "C'mon baby, tell mommy what you want." You growled in his ear before leaning down to leave some marks on his neck. He whimpered, squirming in your grip.

     "W-want mommy to fuck me, please!" He whined, trying to grind his hips up into yours. 

     "You have to be more specific than that baby." You muttered between kisses, moving lower and lower on his neck. You felt his adam's apple bob beneath the touch of your lips.

     "W-want mommy to tie me up and r-ruin me! Please mommy! N-need to feel mommy cock pounding into me!" You groaned against his skin before pulling away from him to drag him to the bedroom. Once you had reached your destination, you pushed him onto the bed, pinning him beneath you. Your hands were roaming all over his body, tearing his clothes off quickly to leave him bare beneath you. His delicious sounds spurred you on as you left a light trail of kisses down his chest, making him whine in aggravation as you skipped over where he needed you most to leave hickeys on his inner  thighs. You bit down hard on one spot that made him whimper loudly before you pulled away. He whined and bucked his hips up, trying to get you to touch him. You merely chuckled and pecked his lips. 

     "Hands above your head baby." His eyes lit up as he did what he was told. You reached into your bedside drawer to pull out a black, silk ribbon to tie his hands to the headboard. You also pulled out a bottle of lube and your strap-on before putting the box back. He bit his lip and started squirming around as you squirted some lube onto your fingers. You chuckled at him before leaning down to pepper kisses on his face, trailing down his neck as you pushed one finger inside him. He moaned quietly, his eyes closing in bliss as you thrusted your finger into him. His noises got increasingly louder as you picked up the pace, soon adding a second finger. He threw his head back with a guttural moan as you added a third finger, spreading your fingers out to stretch him open. You saw his leaking dick twitch against his stomach, telling you he was going to cum soon. On any other day, you would have pulled out or teased him more, but Hoshi was surprised as you continued to finger him, working him through his first orgasm of the night. You slowly pulled your fingers out, leaning up to kiss him again. 

     "You look so pretty when you cum babyboy." Hoshi whimpered before gasping as he felt the tip of the strap-on slowly push into him. "Do you think you could do it again for mommy?" He whined needily, struggling against his restraints as you thrusted the rest of the fake cock into him. You grabbed the backs of his thighs, pushing his knees to his chest as you continued to pound into him. He practically screamed as the new angle allowed you to hit his prostate with every thrust. It didn't take long for him to feel another orgasm building up.

     "O-oh fuck! M-mommy! C-cum! G-gon- fuck - gonna c-cum!! Please l-let me cum mommy! A-AH!" You smirked, lightly running your nails over the backs of his thighs.

     "Go ahead baby." He threw his head back with his mouth hung open in a silent moan as he came again. Tears started to well up in his eyes as you didn't slow the pace of your hips, making him pull against his restraints harder. You leaned forward to leave kisses and marks on his neck, making him sob in pleasure. About two more minutes passed before he was begging to cum again, with tears running down his cheeks and drool seeping out the corner of his mouth. You smirked as you saw his dick twitch against his stomach.

     "C'mon babyboy, you can cum for mommy one more time can't you?" Hoshi sobbed, more tears streaming down his cheeks but nodded anyways. "Use your words baby." He whined, thrashing against the restraints.

    "Y-yes!! F-fuck- y-yes m-mommy!" You hummed in response and grabbed his dick, pumping it to match the pace you were thrusting into him. His back arched off the mattress as he came one last time with a loud cry. You slowed your thrusts, stopping once he had somewhat calmed down.

     You had to admit that this was always one of your favorite sights. Hoshi tied to the bed with cum covering his stomach and a gorgeous fucked out expression on his face. The tears and drool just seemed to make him look even more beautiful. You carefully pulled out of him before reaching over to grab your phone and snapped a picture, smirking as you set it as your home screen. You carefully untied Hoshi's wrists, giving light kisses to the red marks from how hard he had been pulling. You moved to the bathroom, leaving your strap-on in the tub to clean it and grabbed a wet rag to clean up your boyfriend. You cleaned the cum off his stomach and threw the rag to your laundry basket. You leaned forward to give Hoshi a loving kiss, brushing the hair that had clung to his forehead off once you had pulled away.

     "Are you alright baby?" You asked, cupping his face in your hands. He weakly nodded with a small smile, turning to cuddle into you. You smiled softly at him, running your fingers through his hair. You pressed a light kiss to the top of his head as he started to fall asleep. " I love you, you know that right?" You felt Hoshi smile and press a light kiss to your skin before weakly muttering.

     "I know, I love you too."