#because it's stupid and that was mostly the point

[jabbasyogainstructor]

Thirded. I’m an American and all the things that so many Americans say we aren’t taught in schools: Oh yes we fucking were taught ALL those subjects. We were taught geography. We were taught reading. Anyone who was born before that orange asshole’s current term was taught all those things every year from Kindergarten to 12th grade. So if there’s an American on here saying they weren’t taught anything, that is really fucked up. We were taught countries of the world, our states and state capitols, parts of our government, all through goddamn song so they’d be easier to remember. We were taught math and science and history. That was all in our schools. Like any education system, yeah not perfect. There was a policy called “No Child Left Behind” whose goal was, in truth, to leave children behind by increasing funding for schools with better performing students amd decreasing it for underperforming schools. That was under President Bush. Those schools still had textbooks and teachers. They just didn’t have like, tvs in their classrooms. Which is not necessary anyway.

To get to my point, because I don’t want to be a stereotypical American and sound defensive:

Any American saying they weren’t taught this stuff, didn’t fucking bother to learn it. I mean, that’s just it. I was in school through the terms of (for any Americans reference) presidents Clinton and Bush and a little of Obama. (That’s 1993-2006 for everyone else) I didn’t go to special private schools or get any scholarships or even graduate with honors. I actually had to repeat a math class (I didn’t like it then and I don’t like it now. My job is luckily very reading based). I’m an average American, raised in an average economic area and household, and went to an average American public school. And I know for a fact that we learned that stuff.

We’re definitely not mostly illiterate, that’s a goddamn outright lie.

So any American who has the capacity to go on fucking Tumblr and type out “we’re all illiterate and nobody here was taught anything” clearly has the capacity to access and read any information they want to know on the rest of the goddamn internet. If I want to get better at math, I can. Thanks to the internet, it would be very easy.

But they don’t want to know it, so they just whine that their lack of knowledge is fine because the very idea of their not knowing something makes them feel stupid. And of course it can’t be their fault, right? They simply, in my very clear and sarcastic air quotes “weren’t taught that.”

But they were. Rest assured that they were. Because I was there. And I was. And I’m tired of this bullshit.

im american and i knew that like in kindergarten so i think some of you are just stupid sorry

[yeonzzzn]

Heeseung teaching inexperienced reader how to ride him while he sucks on her titties wtfhsjshekwjekke

“fuck, baby, just like that.” heeseung moans against your breast, mouth wrapped around your nipple as his tongue flicks the sensitive bud. one hand gripped tightly on your waist while the other cups your other breast, “you’re doing so so good baby.”

you bite down on your bottom lip, fingers digging into his shoulders as you ride him. legs growing weak and shaky as your hips roll. the fear of you riding his cock wrong still sat at the back of your mind, but hearing heeseung’s moans and feeling his mouth switch to your other nipple shreds that fear almost away.

it wasn’t even an hour ago you sat right beside your best friend on this coach spreading nonsense chatter as you usually do as you both play video games on his tv. but somehow this idle chatter turned into a real conversation, one you were not expecting.

“what you mean you’ve never ridden a dick before?!” heeseung raises a brow at you, eyes still locked onto the fighting game you’re both playing, “you’re not a virgin, I was literally a bedroom away when you lost your v-card! and you’ve had multiple partners since then!”

you groan at the stupid memory from a high school end of the year party. heeseung dragged you to it, saying bullshit equivalent to “Y/N, it’s the end of our senior year! we are about to graduate! loosen up a bit!” then proceeded to put drinks in your hand and you somehow ended up in park sunghoon’s bedroom upstairs on your back and him between your legs after flirting with him the entire night. it wasn’t the ideal way to lose your virginity, mostly since your best friend was indeed the next bedroom over fucking the most popular girl in your class, but here we are.

“don’t remind me,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing the playstation controller onto the coffee table, “but just because i’ve slept with a few guys doesn’t mean we did anything but missionary.” which was true. you’ve had multiple partners over the last few years but they were either one night stands or quick fucks. always ended with you on your back and that’s it.

this perks and idea into heeseung’s brain, tilting his head to the side and staring up at his ceiling, “I could teach you, if you want.” you laugh way too loud. he couldn’t be serious. but you see the way he looks back at you as he too, sets the controller down, “i’m being serious, Y/N.”

you swallow, is this okay? to have your best friend teach you a new sec position? and to do it GOOD? you already know heeseung is some sex god, he brags about it all the time…so you know it would be worth it. you can’t deny and say you haven’t thought about what his cock buried deep within you felt like. and he’s practically giving handing you that pass.

“i-if you’re okay with it…” you whisper.

and god was he okay with it. heeseung didn’t hesitate pulling you into his lap and closing his mouth around yours. he could feel your tremble under his touch and fuck it was making him hard as hell. “now, just do as I say, okay?” he says between kisses, hands now cupping your ass, “but I also need you to understand at any point you feel uncomfortable tell me and we’ll stop.”

you stare in his eyes and knew, you wouldn’t want to.

heeseung keeps his eyes locked with yours as he strips you bare, loving the feeling of your hands removing his clothing afterwards. loves the swallow of your throat and heaving of your chest as you stare at his cock, mouth nearly watering at how red the tip was. heeseung has been in love with you since the day you guys met, and finally having you in his lap, naked, in his apartment was the best dream come true.

he helps guide you to where you’re hovering over him, tip pressed gently to your entrance. you clench around the small amount of him you can feel, fingers pulling at the cushion of the couch behind him. you shook with absolute fear that you’re going to be terrible at this. “slowly slide down on me,” he breathes, pressing his forehead against yours. you do as he says, sneaking down until he filled you completely, thighs clenching his hips as you both let out a desperate moan. you’re so tightly wrapped around him and fuck he could climax just by the pressure of your cunt surrounding him.

“now,” he breathes out shakily, “start with slowly moving your hips, once you get the feel of it you can use your legs to help shift you up and down my cock. we’ll start with those two steps.”

and fuck he was going to die right here on this couch. one slow movement from you was all it took for him to fling his head back and clinch your waist, nails leaving crescent moons in your skin.

now here you are, his mouth attached to your tits as you bounce on him. what turned into just teaching you how to ride a cock resulted into a full out fuck fest. you can’t get enough of him, and he of you. you didn’t want to stop—not with how fucking good the tip of him felt as he hit your spot, treating to break the barrier that’s keeping him from fully and completely being inside of you. you knew you’d cum at any moment, the clench of your pussy was the give away of it, and heeseung knew it too.

he released his mouth from your tits, hands placed firmly at your hips and he flings his head back, your swollen nipples brushing his chest with each rock of your hips. heeseung’s pupils were dilated and face so fucked out, he was going to burst at any moment too. and you relished in it, “you’re doing so good for me baby, taking my cock so well.”

you really don’t know what came over you after hearing those words, but your fingers were in his red hair, tilting his head further back into the couch, free hand still gripping his shoulder, “fuck I love your cock,” you whimper, “i’m going to cum—“ and heeseung bucked his hips up in time with your movements, shoving himself so deep and hard into you.

“cum with me baby,” he begs, mouth gapped and eyes locked in with yours, one of his hands leaving your hip to gently wrap around your neck, giving a small and gently squeeze. that pressure along had you climaxing on him, clenching down harder and that being enough for heeseung to spill his load into you.

you drop against him, feeling his arms wrap around you, “well,” he says out of breath, “you definitely know how to ride dick now.” you hum in response, having the confidence to do so. but sit up and look at him, knowing deep down you don’t want to ride any other cock that isn’t his. and you knew he was thinking the same thing.

[sthilarions]

Somewhere along the way, Charles isn’t quite sure when, Edwin acquired the habit of telling Charles “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed.”

When Crystal first heard it, she rolled her eyes almost off her head. “Yeah, everyone knows that’s worse, Edwin, and also, cliched. What, did you hear that on a sitcom somewhere?”

The thing is, when Edwin started saying it, Charles would’ve found Crystal’s response utterly mental, which he strongly suspects is exactly why Edwin started. Obviously being angry is worse. Edwin didn’t exactly know the details about Charles’s dad until recently - still doesn’t, really - but he’s known from the beginning that Charles doesn’t do well with certain things, just like Charles knows Edwin doesn’t do well with certain things.

One of those things, since almost the beginning, was Edwin being mad at him, which Edwin picked up on embarrassingly quickly. Charles knows it’s partly because Edwin understands a lot more than Crystal thinks he does, about parents, and about punishment, and has since the beginning. So, yeah, Edwin started telling Charles that he wasn’t angry, he was disappointed, and it was a relief, every time. Charles suspects he probably visibly slumped out of tension every time Edwin said it for years.

But - the thing is, by the time they’ve met Crystal… It doesn’t sound so mental anymore.

Because Edwin does get angry at Charles, sometimes, and mostly it’s actually pretty charming - Charles will never ever tell Edwin that it’s cute when his mouth goes all tight and prissy, or that it makes him feel kinda warm when Edwin’s so worried about him that he gets mad about it. And even when it’s not charming, even when Edwin’s really genuinely mad and Charles really genuinely wishes he wasn’t, it’s… safe. It’s not even scary. He knows by now, even in the scared little kid part of his brain, that Edwin will never ever hurt him and never ever kick him out, and even more than that, Edwin works to not be scary when he’s mad.

Edwin learned all the things that make Charles freak out a little, even while Charles was actively trying to hide what they were. Learned what specific words make Charles flinch, and then never said them again. Learned what parts of his own body and Charles’s he shouldn’t reach for while yelling, and never moved towards them again. Learned, much against Charles’s will, what specific things Charles just couldn’t handle Edwin getting angry at him for no matter how he did it, and made sure he didn’t, even though at first it took him using that rather unpleasant talent of his for just switching all his emotions off entirely, before he learned milder ways to stop from getting angry, including, sometimes, being “disappointed” instead.

And it’s not that he’s gentle when he’s angry at Charles, exactly. He can give a tongue-lashing with the best of them, he’ll cuss if he gets pissed enough, he’ll insult and lambaste and, in general, get his point very, very across. It’s just that he’s learned all the exact lines where it goes from being memorable to being scary, and he doesn’t cross them. He’ll say something Charles did is “fucking stupid” if he thinks it was, but he’ll never say Charles is “bloody useless” because Charles’s breath caught and eyes went wide the one time he did. And that makes all the difference, really.

The point being, by the time they meet Crystal - Charles thinks she might be right. For Edwin, anyway. Because Edwin being angry means at best Charles gets to watch him get prissy or worried for him or wittily cutting which is always funny even when it’s at Charles’s expense, and at worst get harmlessly yelled at for a bit. And Edwin being disappointed makes him feel about two feet tall, like the Case of the Backwards Telescope, and makes him actually mean it when he says he’s sorry. Makes him feel squirmy in a very different way than the snakes in his stomach that his dad made him feel.

So he’s started to think, actually, that there might not be much worse that Edwin can - or, rather, would - do to him, when he’s messed up, than say he’s disappointed.

Until they’ve been hit by a low-level telepathic curse, that lets Charles hear a word or two from Edwin every so often if Edwin’s thinking it so loud he’s basically shouting it into the ether, and vice versa. Charles heard a couple things about his own body that Edwin definitely didn’t want him to be hearing. Charles didn’t mind, of course - was, in fact, quite chuffed. But also Edwin heard some stuff from Charles that he hadn’t wanted Edwin to hear. And that was the reason, although he’s not trying to say it was an excuse, that he did and said some things he definitely shouldn’t have.

And as they were wrapping up the case, Edwin started to say “I’m not angry, I’m just - ” and Charles braced for “disappointed”, but instead the word that rang so loudly in Edwin’s brain that it rang in Charles’s too was hurt.

And Charles realized there was, in fact, something Edwin could say that was a whole fuck of a lot worse than that he was disappointed.

But that’s a story for another time.

[catssluvr]

dating adult van palmer headcanons <3

ᝰ.ᐟ Movie nights are the most common, watching mostly 90’s movies as you lay on the couch with a huge bowl of popcorn.

ᝰ.ᐟ The type of girlfriend to drive you around whenever you need, picks you from work or college and drops you off at wherever you need to go. Your car will be very much unused.

ᝰ.ᐟ Best thing about her driving is for sure getting to see her reach behind your seat to reverse, her arm flexing and giving you the perfect view.

ᝰ.ᐟ Loves it when you hang with her at the store while she's working, helping with organising tapes and giggling at the stupid jokes she makes.

ᝰ.ᐟ Incredibly flirty, even later into the relationship. Always making quips about wanting to get into your pants.

ᝰ.ᐟ Calls you 'babe' or a nickname of yours on a basis, never using your actual name to refer to you. Always calls you her 'lady' when talking to other people and has definitely let 'wife' slip at some point.

ᝰ.ᐟ You both like to lay in bed at night and watch the stupidest videos on your phone while giggling way too loudly for the time that it is.

ᝰ.ᐟ Lays with you on her chest, her fingers tracing shapes on your back while her breath fans your cheeks and eyelids in a shooting way.

ᝰ.ᐟ Is not amazing at cooking but actually makes some pretty decent pasta recipes and will cook them for you when she's feeling extra romantic.

ᝰ.ᐟ Van smells like pine and apple cider. This because her favourite soap and body oil smell like those and she applies them religiously after every shower.

ᝰ.ᐟ Loves to watch the corniest reality shows with you until late and gets super pissed when someone does something she doesn't like.

"now, why would you do that?!"

ᝰ.ᐟ Texts you randomly throughout the day to send memes or ask random stuff like where the cat food is. Never says anything serious via text, prefers calling for that.

ᝰ.ᐟ A master at boardgames, is sooo competitive and gets cocky as hell when she wins. Will be snacking on peanuts with a beer in hand the whole time like a full on dad.

ᝰ.ᐟ So protective of you, will literally call out anyone that looks at you weird or says anything that sounds slightly off.

ᝰ.ᐟ Is not normally jealous, she defininetly trusts you and your intentions. What she doesn't trust is other people, and if anyone gets too close she's for sure approaching you to put an arm around your waist and introduce herself.

ᝰ.ᐟ All smiley when you walk into a room, type of person the be looking for you in any crowd.

ᝰ.ᐟ You are her absolute lifeline and she will refuse to ever imagine a life without you in it. For sure intends to make you her wife someday and if you also want to, have kids.

ᝰ.ᐟ Making out in the storing room of her store even though no one would ever possibly walk in cause she claims it adds up.

"it's literally your store, van."

"you just don't get it, it's for the thrill :(“

ᝰ.ᐟ Van will have you against the wall while her hands travel freely, kissing from your mouth to your neck. Not exactly with second intentions, is a fan of just making out without wanting anything else.

slightly spicy ahead!

ᝰ.ᐟ Van is definitely a giver™!!

ᝰ.ᐟ Loves when making out with you sitting on her lap, her hands planted firmly on your waist as she guides your every movement. They’ll slide down to squeeze your thighs every once in a while in a teasing way.

ᝰ.ᐟ So freaking vocal and talkative and likes to hear your voice too, not giving you what you want until you give her an answer. Her hoarse voice just adds to the butterflies erupting in your stomach every time (even tho she gives you ‘more than just some butterflies’).

ᝰ.ᐟ Munch. Munch. Munch. Nothing else to add.

[baocean]

𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪

⤷ chapter two - o week

her phone

being with the girls was probably one of your favorite things ever. all gathered around the kitchen table, laughing about the latest drama or something silly cleo’s professor said, picking at pieces from sarah’s plate because she said she was too full.

the group had formed slowly. you and kie lived together. kie and jj were best friends. jj played lacrosse with pope, john, and rafe. cleo and sarah were pope and john's girlfriends. as the first semester of your freshman year unraveled, more people started to get invited to the hangouts in dorms or on dark lacrosse fields after games.

by now, it was your own little family at kildare. family, even if you really only liked five out of the seven members.

jj maybank and rafe cameron were like carbon copies of each other. like birds to a feather, the became attached at the hip the second they were introduced during their visit to sign with kildare back when they were juniors in high school. you were pretty sure they were secretly in love with each other.

they were both self proclaimed 'chick magnets', were both annoying beyond manageable, and had this infuriating way of taking up every ounce of attention the second they walked into a room.

you tolerated them, mostly because you had to. tolerated jj’s smug winks across the table, tolerated rafe’s stupid dares that always somehow roped you in, tolerated the way they’d team up to poke and prod at you until you either snapped or laughed, depending on the day.

sometimes you wondered how you hadn’t committed a crime yet. other times, when jj tossed a bag of your favorite candy at your head mid-study session, or when rafe distracted professors long enough for you to sneak in late, you sort of got it.

the kitchen was loud- forks clinking, sarah giggling about something cleo said, kie tossing her head back laughing, when the front door slammed open so hard one of the pictures on the wall tilted sideways.

"hide your sisters, hide your friends!" rafe’s voice bellowed through the house, just as he and jj crashed inside.

"jesus christ," kiara muttered from her spot at the kitchen table, barely glancing up from her wine glass.

“where you guys at?” john b’s voice rang out from the entry way.

you barely had time to turn in your seat before four very sweaty boys stumbled into the kitchen.

“you animals,” rafe gasped, dropping his gym bag on the floor like he was wounded. “you didn’t even wait?”

jj was right behind him, flushed from lifting and breathing a little heavier than normal, shooting you a look like you’d personally betrayed him.

"you said you'd be late, pope said to eat without you guys." kie pointed to pope, shrugging her shoulders.

john b came around the table, looking dramatically heartbroken, and leaned down to steal a bite of sarah’s plate. sarah smacked his hand away but was smiling, all fond and fake-annoyed.

“you know what?” jj announced, tossing his arm over your chair dramatically. “i expected betrayal from kie. and cleo. even sarah. but you?” he pointed at you, a fake look of disapointment crossing his features. “you were supposed to be different.”

you shook your head, pushing his arm off. “you’ll survive, jj.”

he fake staggered back like you’d shot him. “i might not.”

"there's more in the fridge." sarah rolled her eyes, smiling anyways when john leant down to place a kiss on her cheek.

jj slid into the seat next to you, knocking his knee into yours hard enough to make you jolt. you shot him a glare. he just grinned like he hadn’t done anything wrong, already reaching across the table to grab the salt.

the kitchen was loud, messy in the way only your group could manage- pope and cleo arguing over who could lift more weight, sarah and john b sharing a plate and whispering to each other like no one else existed, rafe dramatically reenacting his latest gym injury.

someone spilled a drink. someone else shouted about it. sarah’s laughter carried over it all, bright and wild.

kiara rolled her eyes so hard you thought they might get stuck. "you’re all so annoying," she said, but there was no real heat behind it. not when the house was full of everyone she loved.

yourusername: we’re back!

kiaracarrera: we are SO back baby

rafecam: i thought you had music taste

↳ yourusername: go ride the bench some more

↳ rafecam: RUDE?

sarahcam: i love u let's make love

↳ yourusername: ok 🩷

cleoanderson: ROUND 2

johnbroutledge: yup yup yup

popeheyward: 🕺🏼🕺🏼🕺🏼

jjmaybank: ooooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeekkkkkk

rafecam: kiss me bro

↳ jjmaybank: bro i will

popeheyward: not o week 😔

kiaracarrera: yikes

↳ jjmaybank: dwayne get out of my comment section

↳ kiaracarrera: bitch shut up

sarahcam: the robes PLEASE

cleoanderson: awwwww look at the little cuties in their little robes

↳ jjmaybank: we so cute ☺️☺️

xoxo, mimi

masterlist | next chapter

taglist (taglist is open!) @babyamors / @jombies / @luvrclub / @yesshewrites1 / @cassiewritessalot / @rottinglexi / @certifiedjjsimp / @str4wb3rrym1lkl0v3r / @cinderellieeeeeeeeeeee / @isinpfortvdmen / @doesnt-care / @dylsdaily / @wasiasproject / @chuuuchuuutrain / @dr3amgrlll / @4jjsbank / @abigailovesz / @lmaowhatt / @idli-dosa / @papercranesandinkstains / @dramagodesss / @ayy1234567 / @wrtzia / @reeseswirl / @mrrayjay / @cokewithcameron / @dr3amgrlll /

[thinkblotted]

Deer to Me (part 2)

(@lexirosewrites so, because this is so long, I have decided to simply make its own post, and then tag you. I hope that works! I think once I write the third and final part - yes, I have decided it's getting a third chapter! And what a closing chapter it will be ;) - I will post it all together on ao3. But enjoy this installment for this Sunday!)

Wayne’s gonna kill him. Oh, he’s gonna hang his wonky head on a wall as a warning for other idiotic nephews not to get cotton-eared and hot-dicked during spring and do what Eddie just did. 

He dabs gently at the open bone on his head, hands still coming away tacky and red, but at least the worst of the bleeding had stopped. This late into the season, it was only going to scab over, and the blood supply was mostly gone anyway. He’d drop the remaining antler soon. For the better - his damn neck was already feeling the loss of weight, leaning to one side like an idiot.

Eddie sighs into the quiet woods. Safe in his little haven of the picnic bench, there’s no one to see him spiral. 

How stupid could a person get? Especially Eddie. Though, he really shouldn’t be surprised. Even his herd had clocked him ages ago for it. Mooning after Steve Harrington was a bad idea on a good day. Cernnunos-knew what he thought of him now. But Eddie couldn’t help himself. What self-respecting buck could? 

Steve was…a god in a glen. Warm coat and dappled speckles, but a sense of humor that could cut. And Eddie’d had a crush on him for years at this point, nursing it like a wounded animal until it had grown big and strong enough to pull Eddie in directions he didn’t want to go. Like watching Steve in the hallways, fantasizing about ways he could maybe bump into him, or scripting out what he would say in a thousand what-if situations. 

And he’d gone and blown it today. Just. Let that little crush get the better of him, finally. 

Eddie kicked at the leaves under his shoes, ears hanging low. His stomach rolled with the new memory of what he’d done, playing over and over in his mind. He’d probably get another call home when he wasn’t around for afternoon classes, and Wayne’ll be plenty disappointed about that. Might not really say anything about it, seeing the aftereffects of his brawl as punishment enough for his fool head. Eddie would wear it with as much shame as it was due. 

Eddie makes to stand up, but the sound of footsteps through the leaves stops him dead. 

It might be involuntary, but Eddie curses internally at how he freezes, how his tail shoots up like a flag, underside shining white. What he needs to do is leave, but his stupid legs are now rooted to the spot, and he’s staring at the little hill, waiting for whoever is coming over it. 

Martin and his gang? No, the footsteps aren’t heavy enough for that, and they’d be coming while yelling and gloating. Gareth? Maybe, but Eddie doesn’t know, can’t see, can’t move- 

The chocolate brown tips of a swoop of hair crest the hill first, followed by the twitching tips of two lovely, soft ears. Two eyes, a long, straight nose, and a perfect mouth drawn into a perfect frown come into view, and Eddie thinks this might be worse than Martin. 

Steve looks down at him from the top of the little hill. Head tilted to the side. At first, when he’d first come into view, there’s an odd expression on his face. If Eddie didn’t know any better, he’d almost say that Steve looked worried about something. 

Then, when he sees Eddie, standing there with his tail up like a fucking doofus, he actually. Smiles. 

It’s a nice smile. Nice like the sunrise, and a good cup of coffee, a thick coat in the dead of winter. Too warm for someone like Eddie.

“Hey! I didn’t miss you, great,” Steve says, and starts trotting down the hill. 

Eddie is at a crossroads. Steve Harrington is approaching him - him! And this. 

This is not one of his fantasies. 

Eddie manages to unstick his legs, finally, and backs himself against the table so his tail sits flat against his ass like a normal person and not someone who’s probably staring slack-jawed and bug-eyed at their object of affection coming willingly towards them with that damn smile. 

And the air is warm, and the clouds are starting to break away showing the afternoon sun coming through the treetops to shine on them, and the world is in a golden haze. 

It’s spring and Eddie is suddenly alone with Steve Harrington. 

And Steve doesn’t seem to notice. 

Eddie presses himself back further, trying to keep as much space between him and Steve as possible - in case something happens. He has no idea what, but the panic in his brain is at the wheel now, and it’s cranking the throttle all the way up. 

“Hi,” he manages to eek out, in a lame response to Steve’s odd greeting. Miss him? For what? 

Steve is close now. He’s less than three feet away, still smiling at Eddie, though it’s a little calmer. He holds out a backpack. 

Eddie’s backpack. 

“You ran out so fast, you left this.”

The backpack is fine, and when Eddie takes it and glances inside, all of his, ahem, ‘gear’, is right where it ought to be. Steve watches him click the old metal lunchbox shut anxiously, nicely pretending he doesn’t see the flush across Eddie’s cheeks. 

Well. What is there to say to this? 

“Thanks, man,” Eddie goes with, setting the bag down on the table. “You didn’t have to. One of the guys would have gotten it.” 

Steve shrugs, his own bag, a big sturdy sports duffle slung over his shoulder. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. That break looked pretty nasty. And uh.” 

He shuffles a little, the leaves under his feet crinkling as he adjusts his weight. 

“It was kinda my fault,” he finishes. 

Eddie blinks at him. His fault?

“How is it your fault?” He asks, bewildered. 

Again, Steve tilts his head, and again, the light hits his eyes just right so that they glow with golden centers, his spots making him seem like part of the woods. It’s warm outside today, Eddie realizes. Warm against the skin at the back of his neck under his nape mane, warm against the base of his remaining antler, and at his back, at the base of his tail. Steve makes him feel spring in his skin and bones. Eddie sees those warm eyes flick over his face, downwards. He cannot help but lick his lips, wetting them against a sudden unbearable dryness. 

“I know you were watching us,” Steve says. 

A pit opens in Eddie’s stomach, and he feels like he’s plunging into it, thrown like Martin had thrown him only half an hour ago. Suddenly the warmth didn’t feel good, it felt sickly and damp and suffocating. 

He feels like there are more eyes than just Steve’s watching them, watching him from the depths of the woods, waiting to strike. He freezes again, knees locking and tail hitching back up, stiff. 

“I- no, I mean. I saw but like. No, dude, I promise it wasn’t that. Heck, it’s spring, you know, and Gareth gets on me all the damn time about getting up in his grill, I’m just kinda annoying like that, but there’s nothing behind it. Just spring.” 

Steve just keeps looking at him. 

“Martin totally owed me money,” Eddie says. Knowing he’s digging his own grave. He sighs. “It wasn’t…that.” 

Not after that display in front of everyone, and having to live with the knowledge of just who was pining - or for just how long. Fuck no. He can’t let it be that. Not to Steve’s face.

And Steve’s face…falls. The subtle smile, almost smug, slips away with those final words. The creases at the corner of his eyes fade, and his tail, that had been twitching with amusement before, stops. Neutrally lying still against his jeans. 

Eddie wishes the pit was real, and would just swallow him. 

“Oh,” Steve says. “Uh. Okay, that’s my mistake, then.” 

For a few moments, they stand there. Eddie’s hands on his backpack, graciously given back by the sweetest doe in the school, and Steve himself probably wondering how he can make a swift exit so he never has to look at Eddie ever again. 

“Look, I gotta go-”

“I have something to-” 

Eddie and Steve speak in unison, and they blink at each other. Steve stutters a little, and Eddie bites his lip, already preparing a sorry. Steve beats him to it, though. 

“I can help!” He says, and points to Eddie’s head. “With that.” 

The broken antler throbs in muted pain against the crown of Eddie’s head, reminding him it’s still there. Guilt rises again in his gut. 

“You really don’t have to,” Eddie tries to say, but Steve cuts him off, nose flaring in a huff and foot actually stamping against the ground. An upset doe. 

“Please, just let me? I’m right here, anyway.” 

Eddie can’t help it, or himself. 

“...Okay,” he concedes. 

Steve looks positively radiant, and Eddie is a very weak buck. 

He’s sat down on the bench of the table, straddling the wooden board while Steve sits across from him, much the same. From that big sports bag, Steve pulls a number of items, a few of which Eddie squints at. 

The alcohol wipes, powder and wrap tape, he gets. Injuries are bound to happen in sports, and it’s best to be prepared. But the pliers, body-safe sealant, and metal cap? 

Steve sees him eyeing those, and explains. 

“My mom sells custom antler caps, I just happened to have some blanks in my bag.” 

Eddie leans over to look exaggeratedly at the bag and all its other content, eyebrows raised at him. “What else you got in there, Harrington? Kitchen sink and specialty chef too?”

Steve laughs. It’s the best sound in the world. 

“No, just highly specific medical-grade jewelry.”

“Of course,” Eddie agrees. “Who would leave home without that?” 

With the alcohol, Steve wipes down the remaining base of Eddie’s antler, minding the red, raw pulp at the very bottom. Luckily, it had stopped actively bleeding. Delicately, Steve then adds powder to the site and Eddie winces. 

“Sorry,” Steve apologizes, reaching up to dust away some excess. “Damn, this was a big break, Martin had to have thrown you hard. Your antlers are pretty thick.” His hand, the one with the darker nail, brushes against the base, fingers gentle on Eddie’s skin. Fingertips lingering on the exposed bone. 

Steve’s eyes flick down again, and meet Eddie’s. They meet for a moment too long. 

The air is very warm, today. 

Steve quickly wraps the base, keeping the powder in. He picks up the silver cap - that, Eddie thinks now, might actually be silver - and adjusts it. Spends quite a bit on that, tweaking the shape, adding the sealant to the inside rim. His brows coming together, like if he didn’t get it just right, he’d be upset. Like a doe placing an antler ornament. 

Suddenly, Eddie leans back

“You don’t have to,” he says quietly. 

Steve meets his eyes again. “I want to.” 

Well. Who is Eddie to deny. 

The cap slides on, and with all of Steve’s tweaking, it fits perfectly. The pliers crimp the bottom shut, and just like that, Eddie’s broken antler is weighted, and capped. Without thinking, Eddie reaches up to feel it, as though checking if it were really there. He accidentally meets Steve’s hand in the middle as he’s pulling away. 

The spring is so, so warm today. 

“You look good,” Steve says. 

Eddie’s tongue feels huge in his mouth and he aches with barely restrained energy. 

“Thank you.” 

Steve has had to come close on the bench in order to clean the wound and get the cap on. In the heat between them, Eddie can- he can smell Steve. He smells like gun grass, and cotton, and a doe. And he’s here, and his hand, with Eddie’s on it, stays by his broken antler. Barely touching the skin, like he’s afraid to hurt Eddie more, but can’t make himself take his touch away. What had to be pulled to someone else's tines, is now here reluctant to leave. The white of his tail as it wags against his lower back flashes in Eddie’s periphery, stirring the air. 

He leans forward, as Steve leans down- 

And Steve’s watch, beeping out the hour for whatever damn reason, sounds out in the silence, deafening. 

Eddie jolts something terrible, and Steve jerks away. He glares down at the thing like it had personally offended him, and you know, Eddie can’t help but agree. Still, Steve fiddles around with the buttons, clearly intent on silencing it for good, but the moment is passed. At least. For now. 

Steve looks back to Eddie, giving him a rueful look, but clearly appreciating the view. 

“I only have so many of those, so like, maybe try not to get thrown again,” he says, humor in his voice. 

Eddie watches him put away the item, shrugging. “I’m only a buck,” he says. “Only so much I can do in spring.” 

Steve’s gaze goes up, to the cap, shining in the sunlight. He doesn’t smile, but if Eddie didn’t know any better, he’d say that Steve looked immensely pleased with himself. 

“I don’t think they’ll be picking any more fights. Wouldn’t want to ruin a trinket.” 

Eddie doesn’t have time to respond to that, before Steve is trotting off again, waving over his shoulder. Spotty tail flicking. “See you around, Eddie!” 

He watches him go, until he’s over the hill, footsteps disappearing into the woods just like they’d come in the first place. 

Eddie’s hand traces the rim of the cap. 

A silver trinket, for a buck with one antler, from a doe with all the choices of a herd. 

Eddie might not be smart, but he is very, very lucky.

[mgu-h]

i think what's so compelling to me about lando is how he grew up a bit of a loner, reserved, introverted, in his own head all the time, in a way that feels very relatable, like being quiet 95% of the time, processing things internally, doing things alone—that's a way of being in the world that is deeply recognizable to me. it means he's self-conscious in good and bad ways, and self-reliant in good and bad ways. while he acts very candid and honest and vulnerable on camera, that's part of the public performative 5%, the part of the iceberg that he lets show. people don't always like that part, and think he should put a different more guarded part above water, but he doesn't feel the need to play or act like that, because 95% is already protected and untouchable. he's had years of coming to be at peace with whatever people say about him, to the point i think it mostly bounces off him, and doesn't get internalized down into the 95% where he's already busy working through self-chastisement for the things people are criticizing. he doesn't need the world to tell him when and where he messed up, when he already knows that, and is already trying to fix it and improve, always seeking perfection, over and over. his internal world is rich and complex, like yes, it can be ugly and painful at times, but he cannot be any other way than the way he is. he's learned to cope and even thrive without changing who he is. people call him stupid without realizing that he's not actually a shallow pond, he just doesn't know geography facts. his intelligence is emotional and technical, private and on track. he's much more complex than people give him credit for being, and i love that, even as it's immensely frustrating to see how he is always misconstrued.

[v-eee]

── Love Contest (jungkook x you)

Your university’s Art & Music Club loves to conduct contests and games every month. You were never interested in joining any of them—until they announced a contest called LOVE LEVEL💖.

LOVE LEVEL💖: The contest revolves around winning the heart of the famous Music Department student, none other than Jeon Jungkook, within one month.

When you went to register, the line looked like the scene outside a concert venue. Tons of female students (and a handful of guys too) were buzzing with excitement.

You even overheard a few of them sharing strategies to win Jungkook's heart: dinner dates, theme park outings, and homemade cookies (someone mentioned he loves cookies).

But you? You weren’t interested in Jungkook’s heart. At all.

You were interested in the prizes. A ticket to DisneySea in Japan and a brand-new foldable electric scooter—the exact one you’d been eyeing online for months. That was motivation enough. Right?

While others were baking cookies, planning unforgettable dates, and orchestrating 'accidental' run-ins, you took a different approach.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you slipped a small, neatly folded paper into Jungkook’s locker. No name, just your contestant number—19—and a simple, often cringey, pick-up line. . . .

Jungkook chuckled as he noticed that familiar pink folded paper in his locker. Since the contest started last week, one contestant had been diligently sneaking folded pink papers with pick-up lines into his locker.

At first, he thought it was a lazy and half-hearted attempt to win his heart. But after a few days, he realized those pick-up lines made his days more amusing, often bringing a laugh when he needed it most.

♥ Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.

Jungkook chuckled when he opened it. Every time he saw a photo of the Eiffel Tower in a magazine, it would remind him of this pick-up line.

♥ Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Okay, not the most original, but it still cracked him up. Mostly because—newsflash—contestant 19 never even showed their face. So how was she or maybe he, getting lost in his eyes?

♥ Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.

This one made him laugh out loud in the middle of the hallway. People stared. He didn’t care. At this point, Jungkook was 90% sure he was being pranked by someone with way too much free time. Or... maybe he was getting wooed by the laziest romantic on campus.

♥ Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.

This one made him laugh out loud in the middle of the hallway. People stared. He didn’t care. At this point, Jungkook was 90% sure he was being pranked by someone with way too much free time. Or... maybe he was getting wooed by the laziest romantic on campus.

Final week. Contestants were in full-blown desperation mode—fine dining, hand-knitted scarves, expensive chocolate and bribery (yes, actual bribery). But Jungkook was unimpressed. Instead, he got a headache.

But when he read those stupid pick-up lines, he smiled again.

On the last day, Jungkook sighed as he opened his locker. There it was...the final pink folded paper.

Honestly… I don’t want your heart. I just want that scooter 🛴✨.

Underneath, there was a tiny drawing of a scooter with sparkles around it.

Jungkook laughed so hard that people in the hallway asked if he was okay.

. . .

A week later, the winner was announced on the Art & Music Club bulletin board.

19.

You stared at the board like it had personally insulted you.

"I won? Wait. I WON. I ACTUALLY WON???"

In your head, you were doing cartwheels. Outwardly, you power-walked to the Art & Music room to claim your prizes like you owned the place.

Nobody cared, though—no one even knew you were contestant 19. Well, except for the two seniors running the contest.

Fast forward to a week later. Jungkook was strolling toward the café his brother wouldn’t shut up about. His steps slow down when something caught his eye.

That scooter.

Same model, same pink tires, same obnoxious blue handlebars. It had to be the one from the club’s briefing.

And next to it? There you were.

Sitting cross-legged, scribbling notes in a notebook while scrolling through your phone.

He didn’t approach you. Instead, he got his drink and picked a table nearby. Close enough to see your side profile but not close enough to look like a creep.

You were in your own world, blissfully unaware of everything around you. Jungkook found it oddly... charming.

The person who won the contest with no cookies, no dates, no eye contact—just bad pick-up lines.

And somehow... that made you unforgettable.

[nitpick7]

okay so i just caught up on uu finally and i have become somehow even less normal about parrot. specifically about how he is incapable of working in a team anymore. and i. i'm sure someone has pointed this out before but i can't stop talking about it so

okay his first video was mostly him on his own but he was not at all opposed to teaming. he actually actively tried to get people to work with him. he would do shit alone if he had to and still always believed he was right, but he was reasonably quick to trust people and more than willing to team if he could. not at all... whatever he is now.

second video is wifies we all know how that went

they are dating

how is parfies actually not canon i'm. they're so.

anyway, importantly, parrot can always trust wifies 100% of the time from now on. except when they break up but like we'll get there ok

okay hold on this is a long post sorry i am hiding the rest under the cut

then wifies chunkban uhoh!!! parrot tries to break wifies out alone because he's gay and stupid but when that doesn't work he immediately tries to assemble a team. it's specifically people he knows he can trust on this mission, but still. he recruits people, breaks them out of prisons, trusts them to help in the process. and it works. this is important. the team works. (a couple people don't want to join and fantst chunkbans himself, but the team works.)

then we have the brief (two 3 hour long videos) interlude where he's getting hunted down by clownpierce and i haven't actually rewatched that bit so i don't really have thoughts about it? but. there's the reverse prison bit. where his team is supposed to protect him but they just leave him there to die the moment it gets difficult. wifies is the only one who sticks by him because again, they're gay. but parrot lets himself get used as bait for this trap and the team essentially betrays him. he puts his trust in them and they break it. this is important actually.

i remember more of this bit than i thought

parrot almost kills branzy. that's probably relevant but i haven't quite figured out why yet. probably something about wifies. it's always something about wifies.

then we get proton. i love proton i think i've actually rewatched it twice?? proton is one of the last instances of parrot successfully executing a plan as part of a team. even then, it's rocky. ken almost betrays, egg is missing, they don't have enough elytra, they have to leave ken behind. proton barely works.

parrot's abnormal amounts of trust issues and paranoia lead him to Thousands (Millions? I Forgor) Of Blocks Out In The End. end civ! does not fucking work. it all falls apart and people are trying to tear it apart the whole time anyway. they put in so much effort for nothing. also they know about invis mafia now soooooo that does not help anything

mining civ or whatever?? uh???? look i was Not paying attention during that one i think i was literally dying my hair and told my irl (who was watching with me) to tell me if anything important happened while i wasn't looking.

important part is that luigi fucking died. parrot keeps caring about people and terrible things keep happening to them. aha

BUT THEN THE SEARCH FOR FARLANDS CIV AND THAT'S WHERE EVERYTHING STARTS REALLY FALLING APART

wifies not wanting to trust dean really fucks with parrot i think. because these are the two people he cares the most about and they do not seem to want to cooperate ever. wifies is actually weirdly sus for the entire video, i remember that. wifies and dean both. but parrot wants to trust dean. he really wants to. so he ignores wifies warnings until it is far too late.

dean betrays them and i think that shattered parrot's ability to fully trust anyone ever again. he leaves wifies behind and everything. he is having a certified Horrible Time.

actual farlands civ is. bad. bad for parrot. very. it gives him a reason to not trust teams anymore. like yeah he has to be the main character of divergent or something and Unite The Farmers And Warriors! but every single one of the warriors is stupid and they keep sending him out on suicide missions. parrot thinks he's better than them, that his plans are better than theirs, and he's right. this does not help any issues. he's completely right, in this situation, to be paranoid and untrusting and to go against their plans. and then they try to kill him about it so that does NOT help.

and i didn't even MENTION horace. how horace didn't even want to let parrot join because parrot keeps getting horace's builds blown up. how horace said that to his face. how that just contributed to parrot thinking that everything he touches will fall apart.

first war and doomsday uh um. yeah. district 13... doesn't go well. farlands civ also didn't go well but we've been over that. district 13 is what matters here.

the moment things start going wrong, everyone leaves him. parrot places his trust in spoke for one second and spoke doesn't deliver on his promise to find the stasis chambers and every single person leaves him for the mafia. (except wifies. wifies is always the exception.)

ok chat i have to go to bed i'll finish this in the morning (let's see if i leave this in. probably will.)

i'm back. wow i left off at such a moment.

wifies fucking dies.

the one person parrot could always trust. the one person who always had his back. the one person parrot could work with. did they have a perfect relationship? not by any means. but they trusted each other. and wifies died for him. and it's really like the second time this has happened because the chunkban was essentially the same thing, but this time parrot can't do anything about it. he can't save wifies this time.

and yeah he... sort of manages to work with wemmbu, spoke, and co. to take down the mafia. but he mostly just leaves that to them.

parrot's first season 2 episode fucking destroyed me as a person 😁

it's the culmination of everything that has ever gone wrong. all this shit has been happening to him; friends dying, teammates betraying, having to leave people behind, teams falling apart. and now every person that has supported him thus far is gone. not just gone, dead. any semblance of a support system he once had is shattered.

and parrot's never been good at... listening to people, valuing other opinions, admitting when he's wrong, caring about people (especially in a non destructive way), trusting anyone. wifies was the only thing keeping him in check. (we all know how dysfunctional their relationship is and this is the one moment i will admit that part of canon is real. i prefer to pretend parfies is good and happy fjgshbshs)

so now wifies is gone and parrot just goes. fully solo. he's on his batman arc or something he works alone he does not need anyone he can do everything on his own. he's just full paranoia and distrusting everything. that chest that detects when people enter his base was fucking insane he's so far gone at this point

and then leo. leo and co. show up and save parrot and make him join their team, they give him a room, they make him feel valued... and in standard main character fashion, parrot doesn't know how to deal with that. he doesn't know how to let people care about him, he doesn't want to because only bad things ever happen to the people he's close to.

he self destructs so bad. like yeah going behind their backs to modify the trap is pretty bad but to be fair he thinks he's doing the right thing there. he just is currently incapable of trust so he doesn't tell anyone and it makes everything go to shit, which gives him more reasons to think he can't trust anyone else to be competent... but that's not the worst of it

bat gets mad at him, justifiably, but parrot is so fucking deep in his paranoia and untrusting behavior that he just fucking. shuts them out. he doesn't even remotely realize why his actions were wrong and instead thinks that bat are in the wrong here. they try to contact him and instead he breaks his inbox and shuts the blinds on his room.

side note, the shot of just his room covered in lava is really sad but also kind of hilarious i keep thinking about it

at this point the only thing that can make parrot come back to his senses (well. that implies he ever had them.) is a miracle. and this miracle comes in the form of itz trying to kill him. because parrot CANNOT HAVE NICE THINGS??????

but unfortunately this is like the only thing that could fix him at this point. he needs to see that he cannot work alone. he keeps trying to work alone and then people (rightfully) don't let him but then he gets all "ugh it would've gone better if you weren't here" because he's stupid, but no one can disprove that idea because they never let him be alone in stuff. so itz attacking him while he's completely alone in the base is exactly what he needed.

i'm never gonna be normal about parrot trapped alone in a box he put himself in, less than 10 blocks from escaping the airlock, even fewer from dying to itz, whispering a plea for help.

he realizes he can't do this shit alone. and he doesn't have to. because jumper's spies saw his situation and called for backup, and derapchu gets him out and then all of bat shows up and now parrot knows that he needs them, but more importantly that they are always there for him.

ignore his third episode it is not real and cannot hurt me

okay his second s2 episode though?? with mr cube hunting him down??? parrot and derap's friendship means so much to me. where's that fucking quote... "if you want people to see you differently, you have to see yourself differently." it means so much to me. parrot is making connections and forming relationships again, he's trusting and helping people and it's just. so incredible.

parrot's third episode is not real and cannot hurt me.

(... although the fact that parrot is at all willing to trust jumper after everyone tried to kill him, and after she sort of betrayed him once, is crazy. the old parrot would've immediately given up on bat after that, but this time he's actually trying to prove himself to them and get back on the team.)

(also parchu friendship is so good, derapchu was so obviously not on board with killing parrot for the entire video, they mean so much to me)

so like. parrot's never been good at trust. or teams. but he's clearly making an active effort to be better now. he's still very much not perfect, but he's better.

okay yeah that is um. about all. ahahahahahhahaha yeah parrot's season 2 so far has destroyed me i'm kind of insane about it. if you made it to the end of my incomprehensible ramble i love you thank you and you are awesome

[lucaanis]

OC Traits Rating Tag

I was tagged by @operative-arrow and @commander-krios ‼️ thank you both!!

no pressure tagging: @grymm-gardens @taamlok @ladyinthebluebox @deadrlngers @katsigian @muqington @introvertedfangrl @propenseverbosity @azatas @nyx-de-riva @blightedcrow @flowersforthemachines @faarkas and YOU!!! 🫵

Using Lleyth for these bc yea... 💜 I was probably a lot more verbose with this tag than neccessary but I haven't yapped about them in a bit so whateverrr

Compassion: 7/10 — I would have went higher for this one but they can be vengeful and cruel if pushed. But overall they're very compassionate to most people, especially the people they love, and even as an assassin they would perform quick + clean kills and didn't like letting targets suffer (unless they did something to deserve it, hence the -3)

Bitterness: 8/10 — Crows can hold grudges for like 30+ years and they are no exception 🫡 once you're officially on their bad side good luck ever trying to reverse it, they WILL make it known that they hate you to your face and anyone who asks. They can & will be petty as hell.

Happiness: 3/10 — Who needs happiness when there's gods to kill and contracts to fulfill. And when those things are gone and all that's left is the grief and the guilt and the realization that you've served your purpose... well 😬

Politeness: 8/10 — Mostly polite. Mostly. Until you say or do something stupid that pisses them off, yell at them or talk down to them.

Chivalry: 6/10 — They have SOME knightly qualities. Courage, honor, a strong sense of justice, willingness to help. I think they lose some points though for the whole professional assassin thing. Don't think about the body count. Don't even worry about it.

Pride: 7/10 — Would never admit to being prideful but there's a reason they have a connection with Solas. And their pride being wounded DOES hurt like a motherfucker and makes them scuttle away to hide and lick their wounds lmao

Honesty: 6/10 — Mostly very honest and HATES being misdirected/lied to. If you want to speedrun getting on their shit list, the best way to do so would be to lie to or betray them. But I'm also subtracting a few points here because they're not above using deception as a strategy, especially as an assassin who had to infiltrate situations and get targets alone. They also probably would lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings if they care about them a lot, and they also keep secrets and even lie to themselves about some things, so #nuance

Bravery: 9/10 — Loses a point due to being thalassophobic + after a certain point of trauma and loss they don't want to be brave about it anymore 😭 But in all other situations they will give god the middle finger and walk backwards into hell out of spite

Recklessness: 8/10 — They don't TRY to be reckless but facing dangerous situations with an inherent belief that they are, above all else, expendable... whatever it takes etc etc. Believe it or not they Do try to plan things accordingly. It's just that everything they plan always goes to shit 🥴

Ambition: 4/10 — Despite being a good leader they absolutely hate the job 🤣 They never wanted to become a Talon in the Crows either, which set them apart from the usual expectation of Crows squabbling over power or trying to champion their own House. They don't want the circus or the monkeys, but people keep handing them the keys to the business and the house and the company car against their will 💜

Loyalty: 9/10 — They will stay even at their own expense. They only lose a point here due to nuance (not being loyal to people who they have no reason to trust or who have betrayed them already)

Love: 10/10 — They may be romantically reserved but if you successfully romance them you will be smothered to death with affection for the rest of your life. They have such a big squishy heart. Have fun

Sense of Family: 5/10 — Never had a biological family of their own, doesn't really understand what it's like to have parents/siblings/etc, though they consider Viago & The Crows to fill the definition of family for them. They're a bit of a hypocrite in this area bc they don't understand other peoples' devotions to their family, especially when there's complex/abusive dynamics going on, but at the same time they're loyal to the Crows & people they would consider like family to a fault so 🤷

Attractiveness: 10/10 — To me.

Agility: 10/10 — Something something reach & flexibility...

Sex Drive: 12/10 — By far the horniest OC I have. Sometimes I too fear what I've created. Once you open that door good luck trying to shut it. Physical touch love language + touch & affection starvation + obscene amount of stamina & lust. Good luck 😬

[max1461]

I think you didn't understand my post. My point is that we live in an age when Nothing Ever Happens because of the globalized economy, because everyone on earth being part of an interlocking network of trade and investment makes wars more costly for everyone and the dividends of peace of greater. The liberal maritime powers are invested in Nothing Ever Happening, insomuch as they are, for this reason; it is the yoke around their neck that keeps them in check in contrast to an earlier, less globalized age of unchecked imperialism.

Of course, modern, mostly subtler forms of imperialism still occur, but they are much less destructive than the imperialism of 100 or 150 years ago. There are exceptions; sometimes the US invades Iraq, or Russia invades Ukraine. Usually, as in both those cases, these exceptions are revealed to be somewhat stupid on the part of the aggressor, as a consequence of living in a globalized world, and onlookers hopefully are impelled to realize that their own wars of aggression would likely be ill-received. Russia is learning very harshly what behavior like this in a globalized economy earns you. The US was able to escape learning this lesson very harshly at all, because the US is the global hegemon and has diplomatic and financial shields against what should be the consequences for aggression like that in the modern world. I think this is unfortunate, but that's a topic for another post.

China, too—a maritime power but not a liberal one—seems invested in Nothing Ever Happening. If anything can be said of the post-Mao CCP, it's that they're a party fearful of disorder. And this too is a good thing. The picture I gather is that the Chinese leadership were already not keen on an actual invasion of Taiwan, and after watching the way the war in Ukraine has gone are even more reticent. That's a very good thing! If they don't invade Taiwan, it will make them the only world power not to commit a horrific war of aggression this side of the twentieth century; let's hope they don't disappoint. And why is the Chinese leadership reticent? Because China is a massively export-oriented economy, the world's factory! Because they're a huge importer of oil and natural gas, which could get cut off (incidentally, this is also one of the reasons the PRC is so invested in hegemony over the South China Sea). In other words, because they are participant in this same global economy that makes Things Happening bad for everyone.

So Nothing Ever Happens not because the liberal maritime powers work to maintain this status quo just because. Or, as I said, out of the goodness of their hearts. It is because the structural factors in play incentivize them to. And when they think they can get away with it, as the US in Iraq, they do otherwise. And when they're big enough to face no consequences, it makes you worry they'll do it again.

feel like it's not well internalized generally that 'nothing ever happens' is a result of the grand strategy objectives of liberal maritime powers. a lot of things actually have to be going right for nothing to ever happen.

[wowiewowielwowie]

Hello it’s me again I was wondering if it’s ok for me to send more than one request because I really like your writing?

Is it ok if I request cuddles with Skipp headcannons?

It’s ok if you don’t want to.

Omg duhh I gotchu

---

"Cuddlebug(s)" - Ramshackle

Skipp x Reader

Both platonic and romantic

Headcanons

---

DAWWWWW isn't he just the coolest yeah I love Skipp yeah me two me three guys!!! uhh ok anyways im not good at writing affection but trust i did try w this one

GOD that title is so stupid omggguhhhh whatevs

---

Platonic (ish)

With the trio being scraps and all, their tent is pretty small and can only comfortably fit so many people. So, they have to make do with what they have. You've probably been kicked off the "bed" by Vinnie plenty of times, and Stone keeps reaching over you for random sips of his energy drink in the middle of the night, so you hardly get any rest.

That is, until Skipp so graciously invites you to instead sleep by him, on "his side" of the tent. There's likely no real order to how or where they all sleep, but he tends to gravitate towards the "outside" of the three, where he inevitably ends up hogging all of the blanket. You end up getting bundled up into the blanket burrito at some point in the night as well.

He doesn't offer with the intention of clinging onto you all night, but that is what happens. It's nothing too invasive or uncomfortable- he probably just hugs your arm all night. With you both wrapped up in the only blanket in the entire tent, how could he not? He apologizes profusely for that in the morning, he swears he didn't realize (because he didn't). But if you don't mind, then he really doesn't either.

Typically, "cuddles" are more like him holding onto an arm, your midsection, or even just an article of clothing (that he has a death grip on). It's mainly a good way to keep warm, especially in the colder seasons or whenever the blanket is eventually tugged back by Vinnie. He has a thousand layers on and still complains about the cold. In cases like that, you likely end up full-on/properly cuddling, mostly for warmth and general comfort.

You also probably have to share a pillow; you never went out to make or find one. Skipp's seems to be a fat stack of hay or straw all bundled up. It's a decent cushion, but it does leave a few straws stuck in your hair by morning. (Idk if this is actually canon, I'm just going off of that one pic)

Skipp is super affectionate and friendly in general- he sees cuddling as nothing more than an affectionate gesture he likes to share with friends, which is why he's more than happy to cling onto his friends while asleep. He mostly worries they may be cold, or simply upset at something that may have happened earlier in the day. Unfortunately, Vinnie tends to squirm and kick him off, while Stone usually just pushes him away. He can respect that and doesn't take it to heart. However, he is glad you're fond of the affection.

He's essentially liquid and almost "molds" against you whenever he's asleep. Sometimes it's like having a weighted blanket lying its length on your entire body, which can be comforting and almost grounding, depending on the situation. He tries to avoid chucking a whole bunch of affection at you if you've had a hard day, which is common as a hobo, but may silently lean up against you in silent offering, and give you a warm, reassuring smile.

Romantic

I had to google all kinds of cuddling positions for this omg

Once a romantic relationship is established, Skipp is more than happy to be all over you while asleep. He'll always ask for your input beforehand, but he does love being able to lie close to you. He spends a little while before bed just talking. He mumbles quietly about his day, asks about yours, what you want to do the next day, your favorite food (he's asked a thousand times over already. Not because he's forgotten, he just likes to yap with you). He's probably out cold after that, but always makes sure to slip in a 'goodnight' and a cheesy nickname for you and squeezes your hand once right before falling asleep.

Skipp tends to fall asleep curled up in a ball, but he makes room for you with ease. He likes to sleep facing you, with your limbs entangled and your fingers interlaced with each other's. He's not really picky, though. He's more than happy to sleep in a 'half-spoon' (or full on spoon, if that's what you'd prefer), or have your head resting against his shoulder or chest, and vice versa. Anything works, actually. As long as you're there and available, he's happy. He's flexible, both figuratively and physically, and really does not mind as long as you both find it comfortable.

He likes it when the cuddles are reciprocated (which they almost always are), as in you cling to him with just as much force, if not more. It feels extra secure and comforting, to him at least.

He has his scarf on at all times and absolutely does not remove it for any reason, meaning he sleeps with it on, too. It sounds like a choking hazard, but he'll gladly wrap the length of it around your neck as well, to keep you both warm and close.

He may occasionally pepper your face with half-asleep kisses, likely when Stone and Vinnie have fallen asleep, or simply kiss the back of your hand all gentleman-like. He's especially fond of you combing through his hair and/or gently scritching at his scalp. His hair is naturally rather curly and fluffy, which means it's fun to mess around with, but also gets tangled easily. It's a way to tackle stubborn knots/tangles that tend to form while showing affection and care. He also likes to return to favor, if he's not already asleep. You can either turn over or face him- he doesn't care as long as he has easy access to your hair. He probably braids it or at least ties it up when done. It's a little messy and by no means perfect, but it does keep it all in one place while you're asleep.

Skipp is a good cuddling partner. Unlike some people, he doesn't fidget or move around too much in his sleep, which saves you a lot of discomfort and bruising. He's surprisingly aware, even while asleep, which may just come with being a scrap. The most he'll do is turn over every now and then, maybe snore, and return to holding onto you again (all in that exact order). He's probably always at least a little concerned with your well-being and always has it at the back of his mind, even when in a deep sleep, which is both impressive and sweet.

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A/N: ok so hopefully this was alright im tired and lwk idk what im writing half the time aughgh also yh im woring on the requests b4 this one trust i just like skipp so im doing his first he gets special treatment ya ok goooodnight

[technically-human]

First meeting

[gophergal]

Guilt tripping people does nothing but cause vulnerable folks to spiral and make folks who dont live with moral OCD feel negatively toward your cause

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

[kittycatred]

[ ooc ]

perfectionism over drawing cat red was killing me so the most reasonable thing i did ??

make a gif of me beating perfectionism :3