clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy - Tumblr blog

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

I. Need. More. Threesomes. With. Deadpool. And. Wolverine. ASAP!!!!!

Please please pleaseeeee 🥺

you’re not really sure why logan agreed to sub for you and wade. honestly, you’re not sure if logan knows why he agreed to this. it was fine at first, but he started to have some trouble following the rules.

you thought the guidelines were pretty simple. do as we say, and don’t touch or cum without permission. its not so much that logan isn’t willing to listen, it’s just his nature to do pretty much the opposite of what wade wants him to do.

you would have restained logan, but neither you or wade knew where to get handcuffs strong enough to hold a wolverine. instead, you were holding onto hope that he has enough self restraint to listen. newsflash: he doesn’t.

you were teasing the tip of his dick with your mouth; kissing it and swirling your tongue around it, when logan pushed your head down on his length.

“woah, woah, woah! those aren’t very good manners, wolvie. you don’t push a lady’s head unless she asks for it, and i don’t seem to remember her asking. if you don’t follow the rules, we’re gonna have to punish you,” wade says in that melodic voice that irritates logan like nothing else.

“fuck off, wade. stop teasin’ and suck my dick,” logan says.

you cock an eyebrow at him. “you won’t get anything with that attitude.”

“i think what you meant to say was ‘pretty please suck my dick, my goddess,’” wade says. that only makes logan more resistant.

“please,” logan grits out. you figure it’s as good as you’re going to get, so you give in.

from then on, things go pretty good. you suck, logan moans, wade commentates. logan keeps his hands to himself and he is mostly civil with wade. it isn’t until logan gets close to orgasm that he has some trouble again.

he tries to buck his hips up to fuck your mouth, but wade pins him down to stop him. logan doesn’t like that and tells wade such. before either of you could notice or stop it, logan’s brows are pinching together in pleasure and he’s cumming in your mouth.

you swallow it down out of instinct with a surprised noise.

“you broke a rule, peanut,” wade tuts. “you came without permission. you know what that means?” logan glares at him. “we have to punish you.”

pulling your mouth off of him, you sit up on your knees and grab ahold of his cock. he’s still half hard but it’s coming down from his orgasm. before you can do anything, wade bats your hand away and takes over.

he strokes him slowly, squeezing the sensitive tip and making sure to drag it out. logan hisses from the overstimulation but wade keeps him from squirming away.

“fuck, stop it,” logan growls. “hurts.”

“you should’ve thought about that before you disobeyed,” you say.

logan keeps all of his anger directed at wade. he has a soft spot for you, even if you’re aiding in his sexual torture.

“let go, wade.” logan’s voice is gruff, but it has an edge of desperation. “c’mon.”

“no can do, honeybuns. if i don’t enforce the rules, then you’ll think you can get away with whatever you want.”

groaning loudly, logan unleashes his claws and the tip of one catches wade in the thigh. “stop right now or i’ll cut your fuckin’ hands off.” wade laughs at him, which only pisses logan off more.

“you know the safe word, logan,” you say. “unless you use it, wade isn’t gonna stop.”

logan’s eyes flick up to yours for a moment before going back to wade.

“cut me up all you want, peanut. it’s gonna take a lot more than that to get me to safeword,” wade grins.

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Where you going with that toaster (in your pfp)?

@emmagical-bennett

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Imagining Wade pulling what he did in the first movie and trying to fuck you with a picture of himself pre cancer stapled onto his face keeps making me laugh

"You've got to be kidding me." You said in disblief as he walked towards you in nothing but a shittily printed picture of himself on his face.

"Don't even I was hot as fuck and you deserve to be able to look at it."Full of confidence in his actions he threw his head back to flip his imaginary hair, twirling his finger around his shoulder.

"You didn't even have long hair why are you doing that." The words came out as a laugh which caused the man to scoff and stomp his feet in a tantrum.

"Why won't you just let me live!"

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Wade: I'm too clumsy to be around fragile masculinity!

Logan: Which is why I carry around duct tape all the time.

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

I saw this on my feed and it is so Deadpool coded I wanted to see it as a textpost.

a beginner's attempt at text posts

x

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Why dis 🐺 look so hot 😭

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

think i need a wade x logan x reader humor fic where wade breaks the fourth wall to slut shame me, the author

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

logan dragging a duffel bag of wades dismembered limbs back to the apartment after a failed mission

[logan w wade’s decapitated head in his hands] : “U DUMB FUCK I TOLD YOU TO GO RIGHT NOT STEP DIRECTLY ON THE LANDMINE !!!!!”

[wade tilting up] : “i’m sorry gorgeous, i’m going to be completely honest here .. i was not listening to a single word that came out of ur pretty mouth .. ur big brown eyes are just too mesmerizing for their own good”

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Hmmmmmm... 🤔

Another quiz for if you were a fictional character how would your fandom treat you (if you think your life is too boring to have a fandom just think of yourself as living the domestic!au of some sci-fi or fantasy)

reblog with your results

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Oh, so maybe that's why u only ever see people from the FRONT when they're walking away from flames, censoring. Huh.

Come on...

...what did you expect?

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

Wade: Honeybadger are you shedding?

Logan: No?

Wade: There's hair all over my bed and the only ones who sleep there is me and Mary puppins, and she has no hair to shed and neither do I.

Logan: *not meeting Wade's eyes* And why would I be in your bed?

Wade: That's something you'll have to tell me.

*Wade holds up a handful of Logan's shedded hairs (body hair and facial hair and hair from his head)*

Wade: I've got enough here to make another whole wolverine.

Logan: ...... Okay, maybe I am shedding.

Wade: That's not the question I needed an answer to!-

*Logan walks away*

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

🥪❤️

[clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy]

i want wade who gets subtly jealous as in 'you have to squint or look back to notice' kind of way. he sees wolverine having a conversation with a guy normally– no sarcasm, no cussing, even smiles were thrown here and there, and suddenly his hand keeps touching the gun on his thigh holster.

he goes out with logan to a bar and sees him getting hit on, he'd add himself to the conversation and yap away the poor stranger, his hand rests on logan's shoulder the entire time.

he sees logan hitting on someone, he'd stare at them silently for 5 mins straight before leaving them alone. he doesn't call logan with pet names anymore the next day. (logan notices that something's different, but has no idea what causes it).