#because it's really funny to look into politics in a horse show for kids

[mokeonn]

I need to watch g3 soon so I can definitively say which mlp generations are actually communist. I see too many people say g4 is communist and it is not. G4 takes place in a monarchy (there are also capitalist undertones) . G1 is communist as it takes place on a litteral moneyless commune. G1.5 takes place in early 90s Canada. And G3 I don't know enough about to make a statement on.

[silverskye13]

Okay so first before anything and everything else I simple must tell you that the new chapter made my day so good already (I just woke up) and thank you so much I love your writing immensely.

Second, onto my question of the day: How hard is it for Helsknight to notice Tanguish is bruised/bleeding? Cause I sort of assume it blends into his skin. Or does Tanguish bleed warden shriek blue? Like, if Tanguish himself does not notice, would Helsknight?

Also with the new scene of Martyn struggling to climb roofs I would love to see a scene where Helsknight and Tanguish encounter a warden specifically for the funny bit where Tanguish is like "oh wait you can't see" and Helsknight is like "you can????" Tanguish being immensely cooler than the Colesseum fighters but only in very specific/usually unlikely circumstances has become my new favourite part of him.

Ahaha I'm glad you liked the chapter! It was definitely a fun one to write. Poor Tanguish's terrified bravery at one of its finest hours. Definitely not projecting but I think protagonists who Do It Scared and still show symptoms of fear [stammering, shaking, etc] are underused in fiction. Every time I've been in a conflict I've been shaking like a chihuahua. Maybe I'm the weird one?

And gosh, your questions are always so in depth. I have to really sit and think about the answers.

In short! I think Helsknight would notice. Tanguish bleeds red. I don't think I've ever described it properly [his internal monologue panics a little too much when he's hurt, poor guy] but I don't think his blood is abnormal? I guess? In which case, red bruises on dark skin might not get much darker, but they do change the undertones of the skin. Random red-purple blotches on our little teal-blue guy will stand out. Also, his sculk lights are on his skin, and they probably stop glowing when damaged? In which case a particularly bad bruise or a cut would look purple-black and dull, compared to tealy-black and glowing everywhere else.

Helsknight! Would notice. I think whether he would actually say something about it would depend on how bad it is. If it looks like Tanguish just tripped on something, well, the man goes rooftop jumping. He would be expected to collect scrapes and bruises. Anything that looks like it came from self defense though, he'd get a little touchy about that.

Ahaha and Tanguish as super-specifically proficient in things is also something I enjoy about his character. I feel like everyone is like this? It's a very human thing. I don't think I'm good with word choice, until a friend points out something they thought was artful. My roommate doesn't consider herself good with kids, until she's the only adult in a room who can convince a scared child to ride a horse. We all have our little proficiencies.

Tanguish's are fun because he, along with you the reader, also hasn't quite figured out just how good he is, and what he can use those skills for.

Ahaha Tanguish and Heksknight vs a Warden would be hilarious. Helsknight, blind, kinda spooked, who really doesn't want to admit it's too strong for him to swing a sword at. Tanguish, politely guiding him away, occasionally stranding him places so he can sneak back and distract the Warden. That would be a fun little scenario.

[josendlessmonolouge]

my oc intro except I’m super tired so they’re incoherent.

Johnny manygoats

born: 1950

job: odd jobs, mostly does rodeo gigs and works his sheep

physical description bc I’m too lazy to draw him: big ass dude like 6’5 and he wears riding boots so it’s scary. He’s got Hooded Big brown baby cow eye and a broad face. Really warm undertone skin idk how to describe it other than like you would use burnt umber paint when mixing it. Very tan bc he constantly claims that bc he’s native he won’t get burnt “I’m dark already I can’t burn” (he can) when before the war he had really long (mid back length) hair but when he enlisted he cut it to military standard. The story has important parts pre war and post so it’s anywhere between long and kinda shaggy when he first started growing it back out. He doesn’t wear any pants other than wranglers. He wears either a western shirt or a really ratty redbone T-shirt that Sara hates but he will wear it until it’s shredded. He has basically two expressions; 1) I’m going to kill myself, you or punch a wall or all of the above and 2) beautiful dimpled ear to ear smile with squinty eyes and crooked teeth, that is pretty well reserved for his niece and nephew or his animals.

likes: summer treats. Like idk he just would live off watermelon and icecream if he could. He was eating frozen grapes way before y’all were. His niece and nephew, his older brother, Michael. the rodeo. reading western novels when he doesn’t have a headache. His horse. His wife, Sara. Marty robbins, Johnny cash, and hank Williams. (so jo core) Throwing shot-put. Marlboro reds. Black coffee. His dog. Sitting on his porch at night. Working on his family’s ranch. =. horseback mounted shooting.(pre war) when he had long hair he liked doing it in the same style as sara (he doesn't have much spiritual identity in his hair but his grandfather did he just liked it long because that's how his grandfather his, also he thinks it looks nice on him. he doesn't enjoy the racist comments he gets on it though obv) western suits. (actually part of how he met his wife) dancing (boy loves line dancing sm)

dislikes: any clerical/business work. Itchy fabrics. being cold, people assuming he’s just a stupid country boy. Literally anyone he went to high school with except for his best friend. Gilah monsters, He knows they don’t often bite people but they scare him still. Coyotes. Really fast talkers. Alcohol. Lyndon Johnson. Being touched without asking first. doctors. physical therapy. dark chocolate (opposite of me) the beatles (again so not jo) running. horseback mounted shooting (post war)

personality: gentleman, always wants to be polite and helpful but also extremely blunt and doesn't realize it's rude/funny/awkward he comes from a family where men are pretty open with their feelings masculinity? bitch his dad cried over hitting a barn cat with their truck. even though he's not really someone to hide his emotions because of like any societal or familial pressures, he doesn't like to be a problem or in anyone's way, so he isn't always too open. really good with kids. he really wanted kids but was exposed to agent orange and was advised to not have children, it broke his heart more than being a pow. genuinely terribly traumatized obv but especially just heart broken by the fact he'll never be a dad. protective of his friends and family to a detrimental degree, wouldn't ever hurt anyone except for when they say something cruel about mike (brother), sara (wife), theodore (best friend). only really became reserved in his emotions after the war, where he felt kinda ashamed and struggled with survivors guilt. can be a show off but he's honestly just earnestly proud of himself. likes to learn new practical skills, he was so excited when he learned to sew.

[finer-k0alateez]

tldr: scattered thoughts on barbie with a quick rant on hetero relationships. from a queer dude

my thoughts on barbie(for those who haven’t seen it) is you should go in expecting the leggo movie, not don’t look up. it is funny and does come from the perspective of women(which in this society makes it political) but it’s not a political satire in proper. it’s a movie for kids about toys. it’s for girls specifically so the themes are aimed at their beliefs. like if you’ve had a conversation with a woman about gender relations in the past three years. it’s a kiddie version of that.

maybe i was expecting a thinkpeice just because i haven’t seen any other barbie media(and didn’t really consider the implications of matel making a movie about barbie and it not just being sum sweet for the kids) but idk like… not only the promo but also the initial reaction was very political but again i guess it’s just cause “woman bad”

margot robie crush is definitely getting worsaa

yeah just expect a silly little girl power movie

(for those who have seen it.)

(there’s no spoilers, and nothing to spoil- cuz, again, silly little movie, but i’m gonna make points that are informed by having seen the movie)

i think the themes are really cool. i think getting this glimpse into women’s views on society and gender relations and men has been really interesting for me. not only the makers of the film but also the core audience and fanbase talking about the film i’ve just seen heard the perspective of women in really fresh way

as far as society and patriarchy, women think it sucks, that’s not news.

but the thoughts on hetero relations and men were interesting to me.

i saw one person draw the parallel that in patriarchy-Ken’s “perfect world” they dominate and women are given tasks and jobs whereas in Barbies perfect world men just don’t matter. highlighting the difference in cruelty of forced dominance verses toleration.

i think this really hits home. one of the main themes of the movies is that the kens are like stupid and sad and insecure. which is definitely a lot more progressive of an idea to have of men then evil so i just appreciate the attempt made there.

though i think that line about how kens don’t matter to barbies and are not needed gets at a key feeling that incels hold and that’s that most men do not feel intrinsically valuable or wanted.

common incel recruitment phrase is “only women and children are loved unconditionally. men are only loved if and when they provide something.” and it just represents the subjectification of men that comes along with the objectification of women.

in patriarchy and capitalism boys are raised to be doers, good little worker bees who provide their whole nuclear family’s income on their own. while women are raised to please a man and raise his children.

in patriarchy’s eyes, women’s value comes from being. being pretty, being a warm hole/baby factory, being a wife, and while domestic labor has always been expected, it hasn’t always been understood by misogynists to be real work in any capacity. men on the other hand must do. they must make money, or make good sex, or make the giggles, or make the first move.

i think this objectification/subjectification difference has a lot of bearing on our ability to understand and be intimate with one another. women long to be subjectified. this is what barbie represents. the woman who can do and be anything. the ultimate subject. in her perfect world everything is done by her to her liking, leaving kens without purpose. in kens perfect world he is the ultimate object. the horses, the cars, the dumb movies, all things to be observed and admired. “the horse is an extension of the man.” under patriarchy the thoughts, beliefs and being of a man are inherently more valuable-inherently more important. to draw meaningful breath in kentopia one needed only to be ken.

this shows up in women’s relationships with other women and men’s relationships with other men. women do things for one another. gifts, acts of service, and more importantly they show intamacy by sharing secrets, helping each other cope with things, and providing support in hard times, this is often seen as a failing of male relationships but i’ve always seen it as a difference in values between men and women. male intimacy isn’t about being needed or useful or helpful it’s about being wanted. it’s about ones presence in the other’s life being valued including and especially in the absence of purpose. men watch tv shows and baseball games they could’ve watched alone, together. they buy video games they aren’t excited about just to play them with one another.

these differences (i think) lead to the riffs we see in hetero dating. women and men speak different languages of intimacy. women put forth the effort toward being a true confidant and dependable ally and are disappointed to find that men won’t put forth the effort to pursue and earn the right to be with them and enjoy those benefits. but men put forth the effort of unconditional love and acceptance and desire for their partner and are disappointed to find that women often view them as one option of many who will need to earn and keeping earning his place in her heart.

i think the the most honest part of gretas portrayal of kens and barbies is that the happy ending for the barbies is regaining their sensibilities and capabilities(their power to do) and for the kens it’s learning how to find value in themselves(their right to be).

[13eyond13]

According to you what pets would the Wammy Boys have and why?

(Sorry if that has been asked before)

hahaha oooh i don't think so, I like this ask!

WAMMY'S BOYS + PETS:

L: he sort of strikes me as someone who would either want an aquarium pet or a cat or something? i think he'd want it to be non-clingy and aloof by nature and low-maintenance for sure. He mostly cares about his work above all, and I think he really doesn't want to feel obliged to give affection and support to anything or anyone unless he genuinely feels like it. Since he's kind of fussy about cleanliness he'd probably want a pet that wasn't particularly dirty or would cover him in fur, either. But maybe if Watari took care of the cat's needs he'd enjoy having one that would ride around on his shoulders or sleep on his bed or whatever. I also have a headcanon that he'd enjoy something like having a big saltwater aquarium with sharks in it installed into the skyscraper he had built for the Yotsuba arc... especially if he could drag Light in there every so often to watch them feed (and maybe to impress and intimidate Light a little bit, too)

NEAR: definitely would like aquarium type pets, like turtles or something... and something he could learn a ton of facts about and share with other people who come to check out his pet, and maybe collect all different types of, like fish or insects? I feel like he's probably someone with quite a few animal allergies, so maybe not a furry animal. I could see him with an elaborate ant farm or owning a scorpion or chameleon or something along those lines. If he can handle furry animals then maybe he'd also like something like a bunch of hamsters he could build complicated cages and playgrounds full of tubes and wheels and such for.

MELLO: He'd probably like a stereotypically aggressive dog breed or something along those lines? I could see him owning a pitbull or a bull terrier, for example. something loyal that would protect him in a practical way and intimidate others easily. I think he'd care a lot about how it looked when he was picking it out and make sure it was well taken care of and well-trained, too. Also for some reason he sort of strikes me as like... a horse girl type person, hahaha... like if Wammy's had a stable he'd be all up on learning how to ride a horse and groom it and get into shows and jumping with it and stuff... maybe doesn't so much give me these vibes when he's an adult, but for some reason he does when he's a kid

MATT: Also strikes me as a dog person, maybe? I think he likes company and likes talking out loud to work out his thoughts, so he'd probably talk to it all the time when it was just the two of them at home, and he wouldn't really care if it was a bit emotionally demanding and wanting to always be near him. Though he also doesn't strike me as super conscientious or polite or responsible, so might not always be the best at training it or walking it or remembering to let it go outside to use the bathroom and pick up after it and so on and so forth.

B: I think B's a lonely extrovert, so he'd probably love a very demanding and social pet actually. Something he could talk to a lot, and hopefully no longer have to talk to himself in the mirror all the time instead. It's funny to imagine him as like a villain in a movie with a talking parrot or a ferret or something that he schemes to constantly when he's alone or whatever, lol. He might also get into a really obscure or exotic type of pet that he could somehow be a snob about and act condescending to others over if they don't know as much as him about it. He'd probably also expect people to glean something deep about him as a person from his taste in pets, even though they probably won't, because they aren't that interested in him and because he's so annoying about it, lol. Not really sure what would fit the bill for that? He's sort of deliberately shock-valuey and emo and doesn't seem to get squeamish easily, either... maybe he'd like creepy-crawly sorts of pets that a lot of people are a bit nervous around, like tarantulas and poisonous snakes

[disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope]

- the aristocats is definitely a childhood fave. Probably my fave disney animal centered movie, at least from the ones I’m thinking of. It’s just cute, simple, nostalgic, about cats and set in France. Hate when people call it boring…. They just don’t get it….

- Spoiled rich brats 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢; spoiled cute rich French cats 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

- Oh to be a single rich beautiful French lady with 4 cats, a big mansion, a butler, a horse, a carriage in France in 1910………

- Kinda can’t blame Edgar for snapping 💀💀💀💀 he had it too rough for it all to go to the cats 💀💀💀💀

- Love the sketchy animation sm

- Because the animation is so sketchy, the lines bounce a lot but I think George’s hands are actually shaking cause he’s old and not cause it’s an animation side effect. Love that detail

- The way he opens and handles the pen, twirling the lid… Ive always loved that detail 😭

- "Each cat lives 12 years and each cat has 7 lives" LMAO EDGAR

- You can kidnap them but the woman is still alive, man. You ain’t seeing the money that quickly…. Unless he was counting on her to die of heartache 😨

- I love the kitties interactions so much 😭 true siblings

- Marie is such a drama queen mommas baby…. I love her

- Toulouse face when the paint almost fell on Berlioz 😭😭😭😭😭

- I love this scene. Toulouse painting edgar, Berlioz playing piano, marie singing, the duchess joins her and Toulouse joins Berlioz, all the painting mess and smashing on the piano, it’s so iconic

- HOW ARE THE CATS NOT DEAD? HE DEADASS DROPPED THE WHOLE BOTTLE OF PILLS IN THERE 💀

- That milk does looks tasty tho ugh I love milk so much. My fave drink

- Marie and Berlioz have such a cute rivalry kkkkkkk

- Berlioz snapping his toes always took me out HES SO FUNNY KKKKKKK

- THE EYEBROW RAISE I CANT WITH HIM MARIE LOOKS SO DONE HDHDIFBKFJFJKDJDIHDN

- A lot of people say they’ve always wanted the cookie the mouse brings but I just really want that creamy milk…. But ngl when he dips the cookie in the milk UGH 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 I dip my palmiers in the milk and I loooooooove it

- Find it so funny how they are such rich cats that they don’t even have the instincts of going after the mouse and instead befriend him kkkkkkkk

- The way he says “I brought a cookie with me” (in Portuguese) UGH PROTECT THIS MOUSE

- Edgar trying to kidnap the cats but making noise all the time is everyone at 3am when going tongue kitchen…. I’d too be such a loud clumsy criminal kkkkk how tf did he actually manage to get away with it for so long????? He really only got defeated by the animals, no human suspected a thing kkkkkkkk

- I’ve been CRAVING going to Paris for a while now and this movie is NOT HELPING

- The scenes with those dumb dogs are so funny please 😭😭😭😭😭

- Where the hell would he have put the cats had the dogs not intervened???

- He made the damn mill MOVE 😭😭😭

- I feel so bad for the cats 😭😭 poor cuties

- Berlioz my baby angel 😭😭😭

- Toulouse don’t give A FUCK 😂 “STOP SCREAMING IM SLEEPING”

- The scene where the woman finds the cats are missing is so heartbreaking 💔😢 they were her only family

- I love how they drew the whiskers of the mouse kkkkkkk sometimes they go vertically for no damn reason 😭 his whole red detective outfit is so cute too

- The O’Malley song scene is so iconic. Love everything about it and the color palette ugh GET YOURSELF A MAN WHO SERENADES U AND TAKES GOOD CARE OF YOUR KIDS HES A KEEPER DUCHESS

- WHEN HE MAKES PETALS RAIN ON HER 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

- HER COLAR CHANGED FROM YELLOW TO BLUE TO YELLOW ON THE SPOT NOT EVEN IN DIFFERENT TAKES 😭 (28:10)

- I love how duchess is so polite and not a diva at all towards the alley cats. And she’s not dumb. Such a classy lady

- “Just us 2” “THATD BE SO GOOD” dksnkfbfkhfkdndk Marie being funny without meaning to

- Marie giving him the eyes and Toulouse showing him his an alley cat too 😭😭😭

- Marie is such a pick me girl to Thomas 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- Frou frou is such a ridiculously cute name

- Was not bad enough for this movie about cute cats to have a kidnapping plot but on top of that they almost get killed by a train and then 2 almost drowned WHAT DID CATS DO TO THE WRITER OF THIS MOVIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- MARIE ALMOST DIED AND ALL TOULOUSE HAS TO SAY IS WEAK BITCH KKKKKKKKKK 😭😭😭😭😭 they really are siblings

- THE BIMBOS AMHAVE ARRIVED 😍 I love these obnoxious geese so much 😭😭😭😭

- If O’Malley had died, his last memories would be of 2 British geese laughing their ass of at his lack of swimming skills 😭😭😭😭

- “We’re twins” “we’re from the same family” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 “we came here swimming” “on water of course” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- “Duckies” “we are geese” “NOOOO 😃” THIS SCENE IS SO FUNNY

- The way they switch on O’Malley when he said he wasn’t duchess’s husband 😭😭😭 true British gossipers 😭

- The geese walk kkkk

- Of all the unpredictabilities in this apparent cute cat movie, I think the drunk goose is the most unpredictable kkkkkkk

- Edgar went on his secret mission n2 with the squishiest shoes ever HOW DID HE GET AWAY FOR SO LONG

- This whole scene is so funny. The squicky shoes, him taking the hat off and the dog has his eyes open under it, he has to tickle the dog and bite the hat to get it, the miscommunication between the dogs

- The dogs being named Napoleon and Lafayette is so perfect kkkkkk

- The frencheness of the accordion sound while the cats walk on the roof of parisiense houses under the moonlight 😍

- The kittens: oh no we are so tired 🥱😴 can’t go on walking tonigh; the kittens when the music starts: 💃🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

- I love how well the aristocats mix with the alley cats. There really was no prejudice at all

- This is one of the best party scenes in movie history. The dancing, the vibrant color palette, the vibes, the mix of cats from different classes, the music that keeps growing in intensity and stops when duchess starts playing but then keeps growing again until the house literally goes down. I love that visual so much. And they keep singing through the streets of Paris with broken instruments. The vibes of this crew are immaculate.

- O��Malley looking at duchess and the kittens with such affection…. He really loves them already

- I will romanticize Paris till the end of my days. The rooftops alone make my heart race. I cant explain it. I love Paris

- Thomas and duchess’s talk on the rooftop is so personal and romantic and simple and domestic and real ugh this is such a good scene. Many couples wish they had the intimacy these fictional cats share. Like the way they put the kittens to sleep to have a moment alone under the moonlight like 2 teenagers but she’s a single mom and rich girl and he think she doesn’t like his house and his friends but she does she assures him his friends are lovely and just wishes the house was cleaner cause he’s messy and she’s not but she is casually mentioning how she wants it to have a female touch aka her touch which sounds like she wants to share the house with him and he wants it too and they are in love but only now met and she has kids to care of but he doesn’t mind cause he loves her and he also likes the kittens and thinks they might need a dad aka he wants to be their dad but she has a worried owner to go back to but they wanna be together but he understands she has to go ugh it’s so good so good, the layers on this whole scene eye- AND THEIR TAILS OMFG

- The way edgar’s fake ass is calling the cats when the woman comes to the door to call for them 😭😭

- The poor mouse always with his neck on the line

- THE MAN DUMPING HIS WINE AFTER SEEING THE MOUSE RUN AFTER THE CATS BYE

- The mouse telling them to stfu so he can listen to the lock and they all do 😭😭😭😭😭

- Edgar got such a cruel punishment 😭😭😭😭 he’s not even the worst Disney villain but he got more consequences than many

- The way they smile to the picture 😭💖

- I love how this movie and lady and the tramp end with a family picture. And cause they are set in the old days it’s with these old cameras, I love those

- The old lady is so amazing. She really opened her house to the alley cats

- I love the banter those 2 dogs have. "The ending is here" "I’m the boss, I’ll say when the ending is here" *gets smacked with the ending on the head* "the ending is here" kkkkkkkk

- I love this movie. I’d say it’s probably in my top 20/30. Doesn’t sound like much but disney has 60 now with encanto 💀 and since I like most, being top 30 is amazing still kkkkkk. No but really, I love this movie, the characters, the animation, the setting, the comedy, the music, everything

- Idk if I have a fave cat…. I like them all….. I think we all have a fondness for Marie but the other kittens are equally as amazing. I probably like her and Berlioz the most but I love them all

- I wanted to finish my disney marathon before encanto but that’s just not gonna happen with the pacing I’m taking 💀 now the goal is to finish it before the end of the year but that also seems unlikely…. So I guess I’ll try at the very least till encanto is available for free on disney+ so it can be part of the marathon too

[lacrimosathedark]

Hamilton Inaccuracies/Corrections (because why not?)

Okay so, I saw a post on reddit that was like, “what’s some inaccuracies in Hamilton off the top of your head?” and I got a whole bunch...and then I had to double check to make sure if I was right...and I’m pretty long-winded...and  now I have this 5,000ish word monstrosity. And apparently you can only post 1000 characters at a time on reddit. Laaaaame. So here’s some Hamilton facts I’ve gathered in my brain. Since it was kinda off the top of my head despite being so long, it’s kinda vague in some places, so if anyone wants to expand on anything (or correct me if I oopsed somewhere) please do! Though nicely please.

Also I am also awful at citing things, but I know I learned some of this from @john-laurens and @ciceroprofacto so thank you.

LET’S BEGIN!

Act 1

Rachel Faucette was not a prostitute, but she was a “whore” in the sense that she did what she fucking wanted with her body. During her first marriage she may or may not have been sleeping around, but she refused to stay with John Lavien, her husband, anymore. So he had her arrested. And he could do that. Because patriarchy and theocracy. And she was essentially put in solitary confinement. You can see why she tried to leave, right? She tried to get their marriage annulled or get a divorce. I forget what the issue was but she couldn’t and eventually she just moved to another island where she met James Hamilton.

The intro song makes it seem like Alexander was an only child. He actually had an older brother, James Jr., but he kinda fucked off after their mother died, working and taking care of himself. They also had an older half-brother Peter Lavien, but I don’t think they really knew him other than as the son of their mother’s abusive ex who took everything from them when she died. John Lavien was able to do that because when Rachel was with James Hamilton, she had not been able to get legally divorced from him so she wasn’t really married to James Hamilton, so James Jr. and Alexander were illegitimate ie bastards. He was an asshole. I don't think Peter had anything against the Hamiltons, but I think he grew up to be a Loyalist so. He actually made some trouble in South Carolina for Henry Laurens, John's dad! But I think I read somewhere he also left money for Alex and James Jr. In his will, which is sweet.

This is more visual since it’s not specified in the song, but in the show, Hamilton’s cousin mimes hanging himself. Peter Lytton’s cause of death if I recall was inconclusive, but he was in his bed and there was a lot of blood. So, yeah, he didn’t hang himself.

Alexander did not punch the bursar. However he did return to Princeton later during the war and blew a canon through the school and apparently decapitated a painting of King George lololol. He was under orders, but yknow. Probably felt pretty good after he was rejected for accelerated courses. He wasn’t the only bastard rejected, though! Ben Franklin’s bastard son was too. The guy in charge of admissions, Witherspoon, hated bastards as a concept and Princeton was a very religious school at the time I believe.

It may have been the plan by Aaron and Esther Burr for Aaron Jr to graduate Princeton, but like, he couldn’t really be sure of that? He was like 2 years old when they died, and his older sister Sally was 4 I believe, maybe 5.

Hercules Mulligan met Alex in 1772. His older brother Hugh knew Alex’s old employer in St. Croix and helped him get to mainland America. Alex and Hercules lived together for a long while, and Hercules is actually who got him interested in the revolution.

John Laurens was in England in 1776. He wouldn’t meet Hamilton and Lafayette until he accepted his post as Washington’s aide-de-camp upon his return in August of 1777.

Lafayette couldn’t have met Hamilton before August 1777 because that’s when he met Washington, and he was appointed as a volunteer to the Continental Army only a week prior, and before that he had been in France. But Lafayette later declared their relationship to be like that of brothers, Alexander his closest connection in the states besides Washington.

Lafayette admired and absolutely adored Laurens and they were besties, but neither of them knew Mulligan. They may have met in passing, or heard about him from Hamilton, but nothing more.

“Lafayette” was actually a nickname based on his title of “Marquis de la Fayette”. In his autobiography, he wrote: “It’s not my fault I was baptized like a Spaniard, with the name of every conceivable saint who might offer me more protection in battle.” I’m glad he thought it was funny at least. His name is Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de la Fayette.

Hercules Mulligan is not known to fuck horses.

The Revolution had already sorta started. Actually, Hercules and Alexander had been part of local militias before 1776.

This is more of a miscommunication since the actors are close in age, though the lyrics try to get it across. There’s a reason Mulligan says he’s got the others “in loco parentis”. In 1776 Hamilton and Lafayette would have been 19, Laurens would have been 22, and Mulligan would have been 36.

I think we all know “Laurens, I like you a lot” does not cover the scope of their relationship but that’s rather self explanatory so unless someone asks I’ll leave it at that. And for other clarifications. But at the very least I’ll share this: Anyone who saw them knew they were like attached at the hip (without knowing how attached *winkwonk*) and you could almost always contact one through the other. Laurens was notoriously bad at answering letters, to Hamilton too (and Alex did bitch about it because he is insecure and needs love), but it became quickly known he got back to Hamilton fastest so people would be like “Tell Laurens I said hi!” or “Hey, I need to get these to Laurens, you send them to him.” Which is hilarious. I just imagine Alexander going, “Why me?”

While all of them are Revolutionaries, Laurens is the only one you could solidly call an abolitionist, and Mulligan’s even shaky on the manumission part. He was supposedly part of the Manumission Society Hamilton helped start, but Mulligan also personally owned slaves and was never known to have freed them (One helped him with spy shit. His name was Cato!). In fairness, Hamilton and Lafayette wholeheartedly agreed with Laurens, and Hamilton was the biggest supporter of his battalion plan, and both of them did try to continue working towards equality after the war, but it was never the top priority for either of them and their lives kinda went to hell, so it fell to the wayside. Lafayette actually did some nifty stuff worth looking at, and Hamilton might have tried to keep one of John Lauren’s freed men from Henry Laurens! But as slavery stuck around for a while, it clearly wasn’t anything significant.

Angelica would meet and befriend Thomas Jefferson in Europe, but she would never manage to convince him to put women in a sequel because he’s a huge misogynist and told her in multiple letters that politics isn’t for women and I think he deserves a shoe up his southern backside. Side note, it always bothered me that Lin played up the misogyny in the musical. I mean, yeah, all of them would be misogynists compared to us, but for their time, Hamilton wasn’t so bad. If there was anyone to play up misogyny with, it was Jefferson, because he would tell Angelica for years and years that politics could never make women happy, and that the women in France were foolish for trying etc.. Hamilton would actually discuss politics with Angelica frequently and openly. And there’s a proto-feminist in the cast that was never recognized—Aaron Burr! He respected Theodosia Sr. as an equal and she was his most valuable political ally, and he made sure Theodosia Jr. got the same education any boy of her time would have. He actually respected women to a decent degree. Not to say he wasn't as much of a ho as Hamilton cuz yeah that's accurate (but they were both disaster bisexuals more on Burr's sexuality later)

Farmer Refuted was an essay Hamilton wrote arguing against Samuel Seabury's posts. They weren't shouting in the public square(but Lin got the sass right. I love his face when Hamilton and Seabury are fighting over the podium). Seabury was also really really old, not young and cute like Thayne, hence the line about "mange". Blech.

General Montgomery didn’t take a bullet in the neck, it was a grapeshot from a canon in his head (and his thighs), but close enough I guess. Side note: Burr actually served a short interim on Washington’s staff, but only for like 10 days because they hated each other lolol.

Alexander didn’t bring Laurens, Mulligan, or Lafayette to Washington. Lafayette joined up with the Continental Army in 1777 and quickly convinced them he wasn’t like the other French nobles; he was a glory-seeking kid with a boner for America (for some reason???). Laurens was requested by Washington to join his military family and he arrived also in August 1777 just after Lafayette. Like previously stated, Mulligan was doing shit even before Hamilton did.

Alexander would not have been in charge of spy shit (though may have been somewhat involved). Washington had people like Mulligan for that, who actually saved Washington a few times. But also, the "King’s men who might let some things slide" was the tactic Mulligan used. He was actually very charming, and his wife was very high in British society and he was a skilled tailor, so they were thought of well among the redcoats, and he got a lot of information through chatting with his customers. He also could usually smooth-talk his way out of trouble. Actually, Mulligan blended in so well, when the war was over, people in the city wanted him out cuz they thought he was a Loyalist. So George fucking Washington paid him a visit and commissioned I think a coat from him, and that cleared that up. He got a LOT of business after that.

Alexander would not be Washington’s right hand man, or at least, not his only one if Lin was using that to mean aide-de-camp. In that case, Laurens would also be Washington’s right hand man, along with many men not named in the musical.

John Laurens may have been reliable with the ladies (comes with the territory of being hot, rich, and a perfect gentleman), but he most certainly didn’t want to be. His father noted, rather proudly at the time, that as a young teenager he expressed no interest in girls. John was also married by 1780, and at least Alexander knew. (he told John he'd found out in the well-known April 1779 letter. You know... “Cold in my professions...find me a wife...the length of my nose...” That one.) Because John apparently didn't tell people he was married. Laurens. Sweetheart. Get. Your. Shit. Together.

John also would not be at this ball. February 1779 to March 1780 he is fighting down south, and this ball was early 1780.

The tomcat thing may be half true. Martha Washington did supposedly name a cat Hamilton, but it was an affectionate thing. The slang tomcat meaning ho wasn’t a thing at that time, so it couldn’t be named to tease Alex for his promiscuity. I believe this was one of the many things John Adams made up to slander Hamilton.

Hamilton and Eliza had met before 1780. They had met once two years prior at a dinner her father had hosted. Also, Hamilton had been courting her friend Kitty Livingston, and his friend and fellow aide Tench Tilghman had been attempting to court Eliza, and they’d actually done at least one sort-of double date (which is adorable). So this shouldn’t have been the first time they’d seen each other. Could still be when they fell in love, though, since they started courting after this. Which is cute to think about.

Speaking of Tench and Eliza! I don't remember when this took place but Tilghman journaled it, he went out on something of a hike with a few ladies and they got to a cliff. Of course, he had to help the girls climb up. Except Eliza who started climbing by herself like a natural to the bewilderment and likely horror of the other ladies. Elizabeth Schuyler was a bamf okay?

Of course everyone knows by now, Angelica was married before Eliza. During the Winter’s Ball, she’d already eloped with Jack Carter aka John Barker Church and run away to Boston.

Their courtship was not that fast. Not like, weeks. More like months. Fun fact, Eliza is the only of the five (yes FIVE) Schuyler sisters who didn’t elope and actually got her parents permission! But here’s a heartbreaking fun fact: while Alex was courting Eliza, Laurens was taken prisoner and then on probation. He wasn’t allowed to leave the state of Pennsylvania. He was mentally in a very dark place. Alex kind of procrastinated telling Laurens about Eliza, didn’t say he was courting anyone until they were already engaged.

I can't leave this alone if I'm sad you have to be too. Alex was hella depressed during this time too. Of course he was a soldier so he couldn't see Eliza as much as he'd have liked. On top of that, he kept pushing for an exchange for John and kept getting rejected because they couldn't show preference for him. And then Laurens was sending him very few letters, of course, and the ones he did send were very depressed, even suicidal sounding. He had to work while dealing with that. He had to keep begging Eliza to write to him to be reassured that she still liked him.

No one could show up for Hamilton for the wedding. Some sources say fellow aide James McHenry showed up, but he’s the only one. Alexander even invited his deadbeat dad, offered to pay all his travel expenses and everything, guess how that turned out. So Eliza’s side of the hall was packed and his was empty. God, can you imagine how sad that is?

Another heartbreaking fun fact! John Laurens was out of probation and could have made it to the wedding, was invited (Hamilton, I kid you not, jokingly invited him to a threesome with his new wife in a letter: “I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania. I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.” (emphasis is original to Hamilton. As is the misspelling of Pennsylvania. Yes, seriously.)) and John did not go. Instead he went back to work trying to talk his way out of getting sent as an envoy to France and suggesting Alexander to take his place. You know. His boyfriend who just got married. Sure, he was right that Hamilton was better equipped for the job, but yknow. Another fun fact, one of the guys who voted for John to be the one to go to France was John’s ex-boyfriend Francis Kinloch. Who was a turncoat, and had been a royalist when he and Laurens split. How’s that for some twisty bullshit.

Sorry, this one isn’t about the musical, it’s a tangent, I just got excited about that quote. Both that style of innuendo and the misspelling of Pennsylvania are consistent in Hamilton’s writing. Listening to john-lauren’s podcast about the April 1779 letter can really help you understand how Hammy uses innuendo but also I just love listening to it it’s insightful and hilarious and I love John Laurens but y u do this and my heart hurts for Hamilton but he is also a ho but aNYWAY. As for Pensylvania...well, he kinda made that mistake on an important document. ...It’s The Constitution. He misspelled Pennsylvania on The Constitution. No big deal. Not like something that could haunt his legacy forever. Oh my god I’m so sorry.

Philip Schuyler did have sons. Five in fact. Two of them died pretty young though I think, considering there are three kids in a row named John Bradstreet Schuyler. The other two were named Philip Jeremiah and Rensselaer.

Laurens, Lafayette, and Mulligan were all married before Hamilton. Hercules Mulligan married Elizabeth Sanders in 1773. Lafayette married his beloved Adrienne in 1774. John Laurens was regretfully obliged to marry Martha Manning in 1776.

Sigh. Again with the misogyny. Anyway, I wanted to comment on the marriage as a loss of freedom. From what I can tell, Elizabeth helped Hercules with his spy work at home. John was literally fighting a war across the ocean from his wife, and probably having an illegal affair with Alexander (though to be fair to him, he was kind of running away from Martha because he didn't marry her for love, gosh, there are no winners here). Lafayette absolutely adored his wife but still was also fighting a war an ocean away, and had multiple affairs, at least one with his wife’s blessing. So yeah, losing your freedom with marriage? Bullshit.

Despite where it is in the musical and Eliza singing the beginning, Stay Alive is roughly about Valley Forge, which would be December of 1777 through June of 78. So before the ball and wedding. (Fun fact! A lot of people theorize Valley Forge as when Hamilton and Laurens’ relationship may have escalated into romantic and/or sexual territory. They may have had more privacy, as small temporary buildings were being made to better withstand the cold, and Hamilton was sick a lot during that time and did need tending a lot. West Indian boi did not like Northern winter.) But yeah, Congress being stupid and the army resorting to eating their horses sometimes and not being able to buy food and equipment? All true. It was a real bad winter.

Mulligan wouldn’t have to go back to New York, he never would have left. He remained there as a tailor and a spy throughout the war. He wouldn’t have been traveling with Washington.

Hamilton and Laurens didn't write essays so much as start working out John's battalion plan and writing letters trying to push for it.

This duel happened in 1778, so like. This timeline is so fucky.

Stay Alive makes it seem like Hamilton was the one who wanted to duel Lee, but it was 100% Laurens from the start. The off-Broadway version demonstrates it a bit better. Hamilton was Lauren's second to save his ass. Hamilton had a rough relationship with Washington, but Laurens admired him greatly and would have willingly defended his commander’s honor. John was a Good Boy who always bowed his head to his asshole father, even at first for his battalion plan, but John wouldn’t let even his father talk shit about Washington. Fun fact about this duel, Alex and John were late to the duel because they “got lost in the woods”. Oooookay. Suuuuuuure. And Baron von Steuben was straight. (Fact: Steuben was very gay and pretty much pushed out of Europe for it. And he actually also had challenged Lee! They talked things out before this.)

Aaron Burr was not Charles Lee’s second. His second was a Major Evan Edwards. Lin wanted a parallel with the final duel. To be fair, that was a really cool way to do it and I like it better that way.

Alexander Hamilton could NOT agree that duels are dumb and immature. He was in 10 duel challenges as a participant in his lifetime, 9 of which he was the challenger. One time he challenged two people at once. One time he challenged an entire politcal party apparently. No, I am not kidding. He had a bad day. And I think you know the one time he wasn’t the challenger.

Lee did not yield on the first shot, nor was Laurens satisfied. Lee was pretty much like, “It’s just a flesh wound!” and wanted to go another round and Laurens agreed, but Hamilton and Edwards managed to talk them down. Yes he was shot in the side. But that wasn’t all because Laurens absolutely roasted Lee at his court martial. 

Lee: Were you ever in an action before?

Laurens: I have been in several actions; I did not call that an action, as there was no action previous to the retreat. 

I love this man. So much. The sass of this man.

We don’t know if Washington was angry about the duel with Lee. We do know that Laurens, and probably Hamilton, had Christmas dinner with him two days later. When Hamilton left, it was because Washington had snapped over a misunderstanding (caused by Lafayette actually, and he really tried to make it better because Lafayette is a sweetheart), and then continued to deny Hamilton the command he requested, and he resigned. It was entirely unrelated to the duel and Laurens. However, the daddy issues are real.

I don’t know if Lafayette went to France for more funds and came back with more guns, but Laurens certainly did! Ben Franklin told him to chill, but he actually got super impatient and ended up supposedly disrespecting and maybe kinda threatening the court, demanding what he needed, and walking out. They were were kind of shocked and impressed into giving more than had been requested. Any existing deities bless John Laurens. I love him.

Lafayette actually nominated his own aide to lead the charge and Hamilton appealed for himself and Washington finally gave in to Hamilton.

Laurens was not in South Carolina. When he finally got back from France, he was sent to Yorktown. He actually was commanding the group Alexander led. (Power couple lol) He also helped with negotiations after the battle. Also, supposedly making the British play ‘The World Turned Upside Down’ on their way out was Laurens’ idea because boy is made of sass and spite.

Henry Laurens would not have sent a letter to Hamilton about John’s death. Even if he would have, he couldn’t. At that time, he’d been locked up in the Tower of London as a prisoner. We have no idea when or how Alexander found out, or who might have told him. We know he wrote to Nathanael Greene on October 25 and Lafayette on November 3 (literally 2 months after Laurens' death), and the mentions of Laurens were very short. It’s thought that he really couldn’t talk about Laurens. People have compared it to the stories of how Benjamin Tallmadge apparently couldn’t hear Nathan Hale’s name without crying.

After Yorktown Alexander resigned and John went down south to flush British troops out of the southern states. His group was ambushed at Combahee River and he decided to charge instead of wait for backup and he died. Many people think it was a combination of his usual recklessness, suicidality, and glory-seeking mixed with a desperation with the war coming to an end. It was such a small skirmish. He deserved better. He left his daughter, Frances, whom he had never met, orphaned, as her mother had died months earlier from sickness. She was adopted by John’s oldest younger sister, also coincidentally Martha Laurens (though married was Martha Laurens Ramsay).

The Levi Weeks case was years later than that, in 1800, though it was alongside Burr. Hamilton actually lost his first trial as a defense lawyer and was not with Burr.

The whole conversation where Hamilton proposes Burr help him write the Federalist Papers is fake. Lin made that up entirely.

John Church’s wealth kinda...varies. He was a gambler. At first, he was actually in quite a bit of debt. He did make it big eventually and he and Angelica moved to Europe. He really didn’t seem to be a lot of fun to most people, but Angelica eloped with him. She chose him against her father’s wishes. I don’t get why Lin kept writing lines saying she didn’t love him, at least at first. He also does this in the cut song Congratulations where she says “I languished in a loveless marriage” bish you eloped wat She also lived as a socialite and was adored by anyone who met her apparently, so like???? da fuq Lin. Didja really do Laurens dirty for these lies or at the very least uncertanties? Could you not prop up that romance without making her say she hates her husband?

Act 2

More of a personality miscommunication. Irl Thomas Jefferson was shy, quiet, and hypersensitive, nothing like how Daveed plays him. If you knew a guy like the real Jefferson in real life you might be endeared to him out of pity or because he seems sweet, but in the short time of a musical that would immediately be read as cold and unlikable. So the best way to portray “this guy is a likable asshole” is to make him loud and made of sass which is what Daveed does magnificently. So, not at all accurate to real Jefferson, but gets the concept of him across.

Thomas was not off getting high with the French. Probably. He was making negotiations for the Revolution. And abusing Sally Hemings (his, at the time, 14 year old slave, who was also his sister-in-law, and 30 years his junior, and was brought along to entertain his daughter). And actually probably chatting up with Angelica!

By the time Philip was 9, he had two sisters, Angelica (7) and his foster/adopted sister Frances Antill (6), but he also had two brothers already, Alexander Jr. (5) and James Alexander (3), with maybe another one on the way since William Stephen would be born next year.

The whole comma thing is backwards. It was Angelica who made the initial mistake. Hamilton pointedly and flirtatiously teased her about it before closing it with “Adieu ma chere, soeur” French for “Goodbye my dear, sister”. So it’s more playful and less lovey dovey in context, so the tone is all wrong. It’s not romantic, it’s teasing and snarky.

Say No To This feels like it’s over quick. The affair lasted a year, not just the summer Eliza was away.

Clermont Street wasn’t renamed until many years later.

I don’t know that Alex has always considered Burr a friend. Irl they weren’t as close, and Hamilton was keenly aware of how slimy Burr could be.

Lafayette was NOT fine. He was imprisoned a lot during the French Revolution, the poor man, and many members of his wife’s family were killed. HOWEVER! Hamilton was not just sitting by. Angelica and her husband did make an attempt to rescue Lafayette, and the Hamiltons fostered Lafayette’s son Georges Washington Lafayette (yes that was his actual name). So Hamilton also did not forget Lafayette.

Not all his defendants got acquitted, obviously. Stop being cocky, Ham.

People comment on how Jefferson whines about Hamilton’s fashion sense while literally dressed in violet velvet. The original plan was to have him in browns, but Daveed is just such a friggin star that they just had to give him something brighter and decided to go with a Prince-inspired look. Originally the browns were going to be representative of his supposed representation of farmers. Though note here: Jefferson’s agricultural representation is much the same as modern Republicans’ rural representation. More for show.

Actually, let's get political for a sec. I've done some research in my hyperfixation and in searches for Hamilton shiz I've ended up stumbling into far-right nonsense and I know how to recognize the degrees of nonsense from years of actually paying attention to it now because this is what I do apparently. Which is weird, right? Lin kinda portrays him like a lefty. Well, here's the thing. Any proud historically educated Republican will tell you that their roots are in the Federalist Party. Which is technically true. What they will neglect to mention is the flip between parties that happened when the Republicans decided to use southerners racism to their advantage in elections. Being subtly racist can get the racists and the non-racists on your side! Yeah, it's gross. Federalists are more like Democrats. The corporatists. They clearly care more about companies and Wall Street, but they put actual action into social progress on rare occasion. Democratic-Republicans are like Republicans, conservatives who don't want social change and rail against it and pretend they aren't for corporate interests while being just as bad as the other guys. But Republicans have a tendency to rewrite history to paint themselves as the good guys, or reclaim things that aren't theirs as their own. Just look at the Civil War! Or...literally just...America I guess. Yikes. But yeah, here's your warning. Don't just go looking at and trusting things labelled Federalist. It likely won't be friendly.

John Adams didn’t fire Hamilton, Hamilton left. Eventually. And this is not the only time this kind of verbal confrontation happens, and not the one that destroys the Federalist Party. That actually happens after the Reynolds Pamphlet. But John Adams hates Alexander Hamilton with the burning passion of a thousand suns and really kinda earns this.

I’m not sure if he specifically called Alex a Creole bastard but I wouldn’t be surprised, there were other similar racist and bastard-related insults. You know the tomcat thing mentioned above. He started the rumor of the affair with Angelica. He accused him of being a rake (male version of whore at the time). He also may have behind closed doors accused him of being a sodomite. His (probably gay) son Charles helped with that one, bringing back rumors from a dinner he had with Hamilton (who he was working for) and John Church because Church joked about Alex being fond of a guy. Adams probably thought working for Hamilton was what made his son gay and alcoholic (Charles was an alcoholic and may have died in part because of that; Hamilton was not an alcoholic, but he supposedly could not hold his drink. He was smol).

Jefferson, Madison, and Burr didn’t accuse Hamilton of speculation. It was James Monroe, Abraham Venable, and Frederick Muhlenberg. Lin wanted to keep consistent representation of the Democratic-Republican party. But anyway, the whole thing went to hell because Monroe sent the letters to Jefferson (or I’ve also heard Monroe gave them to Madison who sent them to Jefferson) who, the spiteful gangly fucker, started spreading rumors because fuck Hamilton, amirite? Hamilton challenged Monroe to a duel over that. And who stopped this duel? Aaron Burr. He gets to be the good guy now and then.

It wasn’t just total strangers that got Alex off the island. He was sponsored by his cousin Ann Lytton and his teacher Reverend Hugh Knox. Also, he was kind of expected to get an education and come back and help out the island...guess what he never did. Oops.

This one I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure. I think Eliza was upstate with her family when the Reynolds Pamphlet was released, away from Alex. I also know she had recently given birth to their son, William Stephen. A lot of people think Alexander had been keeping that in mind. Eliza had had a miscarriage once before, when she was under a lot of stress and alone and with the kids and he had to be away (Whiskey Rebellion), so some people think he made sure she was surrounded by her family and waited until the child was born to drop this on her, and gave her distance from him if she needed it. At least he knew he fucked up, and he really did love her.

Those weren’t Alexander’s guns. They belonged to John Church.

It was quite some time between Philip’s challenge and the actual duel.

Another age miscommunication; Eacker was 27ish and Philip was 19 when the duel happened. There was a whole 8 years between them! 

Eacker didn’t shoot early. Actually, both of them stood staring at each other for a really long time doing nothing. But Philip went to make a move and Eacker shot him.

Alex and Eliza had made up from the Reynolds Pamphlet bullshit before Philip died. When he passed, Eliza was already pregnant with the son they would also name Philip in honor of his older brother.

Hamilton wasn’t really the deciding factor in the election of 1800. But he did say that about Burr and it did help swing the vote somewhat. But also, this was before Philip died. Philip died in 1801.

If a vote is that close, you can’t win in a landslide??? That’s not how words work???? Mister Miranda????? You are a writer??????? Sir???????

Burr actually held a term as Jefferson’s Vice President.

The Burr vs Hamilton Duel was in 1804 and was actually about another election and other things Hamilton was saying about him. Burr was running to be governor of New York and lost but heard about Alexander telling people the things he listed Alexander saying in Your Obedient Servant.

Thayne should not have played Alexander’s doctor. Sydney should have played Alexander’s doctor. Do you know why? Philip and Alexander had the same doctor when they died. Alexander took that doctor with him to the duel. His name was David Hosack.

While there’s evidence to suggest Burr experienced immediate regret (he stepped forward as if wanting to see if Hamilton was okay and supposedly asked after him and wished him well before Alexander passed) in the years that followed, until he was on his death bed, he expressed nothing but neutrality or even pride for having shot Hamilton. The ‘the world was wide enough’ comment could plausibly be entirely made up, and even if it were true, it was supposedly said toward the end of Burr’s life. Burr's life was quite a ride after Alex. He tried to make like his own empire out of Texas, and then of course was tried for treason, but he got out of that, but then everyone hated him for that ON TOP OF already hating him for killing Hamilton, so he had some crazy journey around Europe for a while. He kept a journal, writing entries like letters to Theo. The most notable things I think he writes he'd "been amused for an hour with a very handsome young Dane. Don't smile. It is a male!" which implies maybe Theodosia knew her dad was bi and was at least amused by it? And he spent a while living with Jeremy Bentham, who is generally accepted to have been gay (if you want more Burr gayness look into Jonathan Bellamy and Robert Troup. Troup knew Hamilton too!). Unrelated to his sexuality but I find it important, Burr spent, in modern cash, $40 on a coconut, in his own words, "like an ass." He returned to America eventually. I dont remember if it was before or after his foreign adventures, but his beloved grandson (also named Aaron Burr) died, and then not long after, Theodosia was lost at sea on her way to visit her dad. No one knows what happened to her. It's so sad. Anyway he married a wealthy widow named Eliza, spent all her money on charity, and died the day their divorce was finalized. And Eliza Jumel's divorce lawyer was Alexander Hamilton Jr..

Poor Eliza couldn’t go through all of her husband’s papers. Her son, John Church Hamilton, finished the work for her when she no longer could and put together the biography that inspired Chernow’s that inspired Lin’s musical. (He named a son Alexander and a daughter Elizabeth. He even named one of his sons Laurens! Aw.) And we have come full circle.

The End :33

There’s probably more but that’s what I’ve got. Thanks for reading!

[darlingpetao3]

Thank You For Ruining My Life: An Homage to Tom Cavanagh

“You’ve ruined all my future expectations of men.”

The costume-clad woman had the courage of steel to say this to the then 53-year-old actor, Tom Cavanagh of The Flash, in front of a ballroom filled with a couple hundred people. This brave utterance was spoken during the 2016 Fan Expo Vancouver convention during a Flash question and answer period with actors Tom Cavanagh and Candice Patton. In its third season, the show was undoubtedly still hitting its stride in popularity, and the room was packed to hear these two speak.

The brave woman whose turn it was at the microphone was referring to Tom’s role as Ed Stevens on the NBC 2000 hit, Ed. I had not known of this show previously, but having now heard such a proclamation intrigued me. “You’ve ruined all my future expectations of men.” That was a tempting notion, and as I continued to listen to this disarmingly charming and wittingly funny man steal the stage, Tom intrigued me even more. I’d watched him play three different versions of Harrison Wells on The Flash since the show’s premiere date, yet I hadn’t truly noticed him in a “life-ruining” way before.

Little did I know that Tom Cavanagh would not only eventually ruin my expectations for men as well, but he would change my life in other ways, too.

After the Q&A, I had this urge to buy a S.T.A.R. Labs T-shirt from one of the vendors at the convention. In my head, I thought I would purchase something so that I could have an excuse to talk to Mr. Cavanagh at his signing booth. Again, he intrigued me, and I wanted to experience more of his incredibly likeable personality. So, I dragged my friend with me to wait for what was maybe ten minutes in a queue. Shortly, I was paying the assistant for my autograph I would soon acquire. They wrote my name on a sticky note so that Tom would know how to sign a personalized message to me. And then, it was my turn.

His eyes sparkled when he turned his attention to me. I instantly had a feeling this was just the way he was naturally. Oh yeah, and I swear to God I’d never seen eyes that blue in my entire life. It genuinely stunned me.

“Hi!” he greeted me.

“Hi!” I responded, equally as thrilled. Tom admired the T-shirt I had brought and took note of my name on the piece of paper. I remember us joking together about the extremely lax security in and around S.T.A.R. Labs on the show, which prompted his message to me on the heather-grey cotton. He wrote my name, [followed by a heart!] and a very welcoming, ‘Come on by, just walk right in!’

I had official clearance from Harrison Wells himself.

I thanked him very much, leaving with my treasure folded over my arms. My friend and I walked towards the hall’s exit, and I couldn’t shake this feeling inside me. It felt strange—I couldn’t name it for the life of me. It felt like an odd fluttering with a simultaneous yet contradictory slightness of breath. My head was confused and would continue to be so for the rest of that weekend.

As I waited at my gate in the airport on that Sunday evening to head home, all I knew was that the moments at the con featuring Tom were the highlights of the weekend for me.

And that I was going to begin watching more of the other films and television shows he’d been in. What was the show the brave cosplaying woman had said ruined her expectations of men? Oh yeah, Ed.

Maybe I’ll start there…

***

Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad…

In my house, it’s never really Christmastime until Michael Bublé croons through the speakers of the wooden stereo system in the living room. It felt especially festive as it was now Christmas Eve—a month and some change since the con. It was late, possibly ten o’clock. I was lying on the floor in front of the Christmas tree with my trusty laptop, a word document open. I was writing three holiday-song short stories featuring the new muse in my life, Harrison Wells. I wanted to be able to post them the next day, so my fingers were taptaptapping away.

I had written a handful of things before 2017, most of which had been Marvel-related, under my second, ‘rebirth’ pen name online. I was a little fish among all the grand and fabulous writers on Archive of Our Own, and in many ways, I still feel like that little fish. I was only just learning and feeling out the psyche of the Wells characters. Each one is so different. In my rewatch of the previous seasons of The Flash, I’d taken diligent notes, and as I’d later learn with each following rewatch, I would know them all—what they think, how they talk and behave—like the back of my hand. It was fun to suss out these guys, and I found that I was growing to love the act of writing even more.

One month later, in January, I would post all the stories I’d written thus far on Tumblr. I’d just created an account and, who knows? Maybe I’d get a wider range of readers on here, too.

Might as well give it a shot, right?

***

Wild horses couldn’t keep me from attending Fan Expo Vancouver 2017, especially when the big news dropped. Not only would Tom Cavanagh be attending again, but so would Carlos Valdes, Danielle Panabaker, Candice Patton, and the convention-elusive star of the show himself, Grant Gustin.

Before the moderator for the Flash cast’s Q&A panel could utter the final thanks to the actors at the end of the session, I bounded from my seat and sped down to the photo op booth where the cast would be taking “Team Up” photos with fans. ‘Sped down’ has to be the most appropriate couple of words because I indeed felt like a true Speedster dressed head to toe as the small screen’s adaptation of Jesse Quick, the angsty and brilliant daughter to Harrison Wells turned superhero.

After waiting in a queue that felt like ages, I was next to stand with Team Flash. As I took a step forward, all of the actors’ and actresses’ eyes—the people I spend time with every Tuesday evening—were on me. I heard a familiar voice approve of my costume. It was Danielle.

“Tremendous.”

Grant even joked that he thought for a second Violett Beane, the actress who plays Jesse Quick, had shown up to surprise them. “I was like, what’s Violett doing here?” he said.

I stood in the back row, happily sandwiched between Tom and Carlos. I dared to let my hands rest on their backs, and I couldn’t contain my joy. Shortly after, when I received my near-instant physical photograph of the moment, I saw Tom had pointed at me. In my mind, it felt as if in his gesture, he meant, hey, look at this cool person. Haha. I couldn’t be further from it.

I would go on to further be uncool in public as I later found myself virtually shaking and almost hyperventilating in line for a one-on-one photo op with Tom. The guy dressed as Kid Flash behind me gave me a few encouragements of the “it’ll be okay” variety. As my turn finally arrived, the lovely man of the hour greeted me with a bright smile in recognition of my Reverse Flash T-shirt (I had done a quick change before this photo op because I had worn a Flash T-shirt for a photo with Grant).

“Great shirt!”

The internet comes up with many hilarious and fitting words, but none such so than the term “Cavanarms.” One of the said Cavanarms found its way around my shoulder in such a casual way. My hand rested on his back, and I have told anyone who will listen about how soft his sweater was. What was approximately a five-second interaction will stay with me forever. And to this day, I will always regret how I’m standing beside him in the picture—there’s a distinguishable gap between us. I could have been closer—should have been!—but I like to use the fact that I felt as if I’d combust into flames if I were any closer to the man.

Maybe I’d have another chance to combust later again that day because, believe it or not, this fan hadn’t had enough of seeing Mr. Cavanagh in person. And since he was appearing at the con for this day only, there was no way I was going to squander any opportunities. Besides, there was still one final thing left on my convention docket: the autograph. In my mind, going to get his autograph was an excuse to get to talk to him and simply be in his presence for longer than five seconds. Here, take my money. I’m a sucker, and I’m proud of it. I saved all year for this kind of thing, and Fan Expo has always been my ultimate nerdy Treat Yoself Day.

Plus, this year I came equipped with a question for Tom (something for which I may have prepared a little too far in advance).

“Which of your characters would win in a lawyering battle: Ed or Miles?”

Miles was Tom’s latest character from his newly released project Darrow & Darrow, a fellow lawyer as Ed Stevens (remember, the man who ruins women’s expectations of men?), whom he portrayed almost two decades prior. What I loved about Tom when I got to ask him this was that he was silent for a moment following the question. He was genuinely putting thought into my question. As he pondered, Tom continued to autograph the photo of us together taken mere hours ago.

“Ed. He would wipe the floor with that other guy. Like, Miles is great, but Ed has a rapier-sharp mind, you know?”

I wholeheartedly agreed with his answer and felt relieved inside for some reason. We thanked each other (as politely as two Canadians can) before I left him to pay attention to the next lucky soul in line. I made the mistake of casting my eyes downward at the signed photo.

Tom had signed two little hearts over the I’s in my name. He really needed to stop adding hearts to my things, or I was just going to melt to the floor. In fact, I started to make these strange noises as I tried not to completely maul everyone in front of me while exiting. My friend ushered me as fast as physically possible on our way out of the main hall. One man took one look at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

No.

“Yep!”

The second I made it out of the herd, I broke out into open space. First came the minor hyperventilating. Then came the squealing followed by laughter. Top it off with various fangirlish comments of, “He’s so beautiful!”, “His eyes are so blue!” and “I love him!” and I was probably quite the sight to see (but at a convention, that’s considered normal!). My friend smiled on as she let me express everything that I had to keep inside until I had the right time to expel my emotions. I was on cloud nine. Ten, if at all possible.

The next day would be the con’s final day, which I would attend alone. My friend needed to catch the ferry in order to prepare for her courses the day after. I did a scan of the convention hall one final time in case there was something I missed purchasing. Afterwards, I sat on the cold hard flooring of the convention centre hallway for a bit of a break. I was wiped out. With my phone in hand, I smiled at the messages from this one Tumblr blogger who had been following my posted adventures at the con. I had seen and replied to many of her comments on my stories I’d written thus far, and I enjoyed her matching enthusiasm for Tom and The Flash in general. I felt her to be a kindred spirit. I had no idea then that I was chatting with one of my future best friends, L.

***

I spotted her.

She was wearing an identical shirt to the one I had on—a light grey T-shirt with a sequinned Spider-Man mask in the corner, which around it read, We met on the Web. A giddy me couldn’t wait for the short escalator ride to end. Her back was to me and facing the baggage claim, so here was my chance to surprise her instead.

I towered over my friend, E, and donned a low, authoritative voice.

“Excuse me, Miss, can you come with me?”

She squealed a greeting to me and I returned it as we hugged for the very first time after two and a half years of online friendship. We would still have about two hours to kill until our mutual Tumblr best friend, L, touched down at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport from across the Pond.

Something I noticed was that E and I carried on talking during our wait like it was second nature, that we hung out like this all the time. Whereas when I met L in person for the first time the year previously, our first meeting was that of quiet, delighted shock, unknowing how to react to one another’s physical presence. It almost felt like a fantasy. The closest thing we’d ever gotten to this was visiting over video chats! I’m not sure what each of these different reactions in these separate meetings meant, but what I do know is that I’ve never had such strong female friendships such as these—so full of uplifting support and love for one another. They are the greatest ladies I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

And as a searching L eventually turned the corner to meet us in the Arrivals terminal, I caught sight of her Tom & Grant bandana tied around the handle to her carry-on bag. It was an item she had received in return for helping fund the short film produced in 2018 (I’d bought the ringtone). Seeing the accessory jolted me to remember that the former of the titular short was the reason for this long-awaited get-together holiday in the Windy City in the first place. Tom Cavanagh, unbeknownst to him, had just officially united three online friends, each from a different country, to spend six full days of in-person bonding and a whole lot of fun.

***

I should have been shelving books.

I should have been doing a lot of library-related tasks, but my head was elsewhere. Anywhere other than the small-town public library where I work. Instead, I sat on the carpeted floor of the Junior/Young Adult section with my phone in hand and a dreadful article title staring back at me.

“The Flash: Carlos Valdes and Tom Cavanagh to Exit after 7 Seasons.”

My world felt like it was falling apart.

Tom was leaving? There had been rumours and wonderings spreading around the fandom regarding whether he was leaving the show. With a storyline ending with a monumental sacrifice and a time-travelling man saying his farewells, it all seemed to point to the fact. I should have known… I could have rivalled Supergirl as being the Paragon of Hope after all the optimism I doled out to my followers and friends who would come to me worried Tom would exit the show. I would always give reasons to deny such a thing could happen, claiming that I’d believe when I saw it.

Well, there it was, and I definitely saw it.

One could feel the ripple effect over the internet of the shards of broken and riled-up hearts around the world.

Tom’s exit was on his terms, having not felt challenged by his character’s plotlines, as mentioned in a recent Entertainment Weekly article. As a viewer—and I am a viewer (Mike and Tom Eat Snacks, anyone?), it has been increasingly difficult to look past the missed shots made by story editors and showrunner, so understandably, the actor would want to seek something more exciting and meatier. That said, Tom has always shone on-screen and taken what he’s been given in stride. He turns unearthed material into diamonds and indeed shines on screen. Steals it, even! Tom easily makes the episodes he’s in better, and when he’s missing, you feel the loss. The few episodes of Season 7 without him only give us a tiny hint at how the show will be without him going forward. It much resembles when you might bring out your favourite jigsaw puzzle, only to find that the one piece you need to complete it isn’t there.

***

On a personal note, as I write this, I am roughly 20 followers away from reaching a milestone of 2,000. I have written well over 200 stories for The Flash alone (whether they be short or long, one-shots or chaptered), and goodness knows how many words I’ve generated altogether over the course of these many years with inspiration from the show and my favourite character. I’ve written and co-written novel-length stories, one monumental Wellsian story of which was done alongside L and E (almost solely done through alternating text messaging in the app, Line) that reached over 108,000 words and consisted of 42 chapters. And when I’m not writing for my blog, I’m also working on trying to accomplish my dream of becoming a published author. Just as I thought before I launched my Tumblr blog, I think again now: Might as well give it a shot, right?

***

I have watched virtually everything Tom has been in that I could get my hands on, both physically and electronically. Sure, a few titles are out of my reach and probably lost to the very early 90's forever, but from what I've seen through Tom's filmography is enough to know that he can do anything. He can play the romantic leading man that will make you fall head over heels for him or a deranged killer that will have you genuinely scared of him. That is talent. Tom always brings something new to the table from each role to the next, and (when he's not playing those psycho killers) you can't help but admire his craft.

Not only is his acting stellar, but from what we as fans have gathered on the man, Tom has got to be one of the kindest men in the business. His humour and sheer ridiculousness could get anyone through a tough time (we’ve seen plenty of bloopers and behind-the-scenes videos to prove this!). He has clearly bottled and stored an endless supply of Fountain of Youth™ and each year continues to wow us with his handsomeness. Tom is charming, dedicated, and yes, arguably holds the world record for Bluest Eyes.

In my eyes, Tom Cavanagh gave me the two best friends I could have ever asked for, as well as plenty more lovely friends I’ve continued to make online. (One day, I hope to meet him again so that I can tell him in person how because of him, I’ve met such very important people in my life). Through Tom, I have truly found my passion for writing, and in doing so, segued me to dare to dream of becoming a published novelist. I wholeheartedly believe all of this would not have happened if it weren’t for those first series of events that led me to meet Tom and love and admire him immensely. He is indisputable proof that there are indeed men like him out there. Indeed, he did ruin all of my future expectations of men. He ruined my life in the absolute best way and I am eternally grateful.

I am very much looking forward to what Tom will do next. I think it’s rather needless to say that I will follow him in his career, as he has gained a devoted fan for life. He represents so much to me and so much of it I have gained since meeting him that fateful day, when I thought to myself, Maybe I should buy this T-shirt and get this guy to sign it. Wherever Tom goes in life, I’ll be here to cheer him on.

I have a pretty good feeling plenty of others will, too.

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 5--Out of the Ashes.

Okay, though.  I’m already excited about this one because Carol and Lydia are on the little guide picture thingy, lol.  My girls.  

As usual, I’m going to put the rest underneath a cut to save you lovelies potentially being spoiled should you not want to be.  

Wow.  Look at that full moon.  And the colors in the woods.  

I’m telling you.  These cold opening scenes have been generally pretty awesome this season.  

Aaron with Gracie always gives us such sweetness but this time maybe not.  

Omigosh.  Now *that* is a nightmare--the Walkers, the Wolves, the Saviors, the Whisperers, Mays.  Did I miss anybody?  And then Gracie gone just like that?  Poor Aaron.  All he wants is to keep his little girl safe and happy.  

So.  Is Gracie sleeping right next to her daddy because she had a nightmare or because her daddy’s been having them?  Because either way, oh my freaking heart.  Especially at her still sleeping with her stuffed bunny.  I’m really, really hoping that bunny isn’t a bad omen of sorts for our Gracie, because little girls with bunnies haven’t fared all that well--going all the way back to the first episode and as recently as the subway episode where Daryl found that picture of the two siblings after they’d already found the bunny from the picture amongst the bodies.  Please not Gracie.  Aaron has already been through so much.  

Are they all just communing together now?  Because I can see how that would harken back to Season 4.  

Jerry!  Not even 3 minutes in and already two of my faves are present.  I can tell this is going to be a good episode.  

That really sucks.  Not even being able to take a peaceful piss because you can see Walkers shambling past your window, lol.  

There goes my queen running straight at danger as real queens are apt to do.  ;)  

Were there always lights coming on in the windmill during the opening credits or is that a new thing for this episode?  

That orientation video was so surreal.  Had to laugh at the political touch of having “this message is approved by Pamela Milton” at the end.  

Okay.  So they’re getting their work assignments, huh?  Orientations are the worst, lol.  All that damn paperwork.  

Retail clerk--Princess being excited at the prospect of working in a mall, even having a mall again, has me LMAO even as I’m like girl.  No.  You’ll love it ‘til you hate it.  

I didn’t catch Eugene’s job.  But Ezekiel doing animal control kind of cracks me up.  For reasons.  

So.  Essentially Eugene and Princess and Ezekiel got blue collar jobs while Yumiko’s got an invitation to join the upper crust.  

I love Lydia being accepted as part of the community.  About damn time.  

For a second I thought Rosita said what’s left of the horses plural and I was fixin’ to go OH NO.  

This is where I’m at on the Maggie/Negan issue, for better or worse:  Maggie absolutely, IMHO, has earned the right to stay mad at Negan for the rest of her days.  Because Glenn.  Because her little boy was robbed of his daddy.  That said?  I don’t think I have it in me to watch 5 more episodes of this beaten horse antagonistic conversation much less a whole season.  It would be one thing if it hadn’t already stolen valuable and earned screen time from other characters that seem to have been pushed to the periphery to spotlight it like it was the marquee event or something.  I don’t want want 2/3′s of the final season so heavily focused on the conflict between these two when there are so many characters that are already woefully underutilized.  It’s only compelling if it doesn’t become commonplace.  

It’s a sad business having to put down people you know, I’d expect.  Funny, though.  We never knew them so the impact is kind of artificial.  I appreciate the intent of the scene, though.  

Where the hell are all the Walkers coming from?  Like, I thought most of them went skydiving off that cliff without parachutes.  

Judith training the other babies.  If only her parents--every damn one of them--could see her now.  

Gus!  How cool and awesome for him!

ASZ is just full of asshole teens isn’t it?  How dare that little dipshit push our Asskicker down like that and say such hateful things?  To be fair, though, the kid is probably just repeating what he’s heard from others and I’m glad they’re being realistic here even if I don’t like seeing Judith cry.  

Cailey Fleming’s expressive face and eyes!  This kid has my heart, ya’ll.  

That perfectly pretty cake wasted!  LMAO.  Seriously though.  How does a cardiothoracic surgeon end up assigned to work in the bakery?  Yumiko’s reunion with her brother Tomi honestly was on par with what I’d expect from someone seeing the sister they’d long given up as dead.  

Freaky still how the Whisperers choose to herd the dead even without Beta and Alpha.  

Was that the real Stephanie in the scene with the ice cream?  Right under Eugene’s nose while he’s with Fake Stephanie?  They have a connection, ya’ll.  Eugene felt it.  

Okay, though.  I wanted the kids having their first ice cream cones.  If I were Eugene, though, I probably would have inhaled that thing after being deprived for so long.  

The Milton Hotel?  Alrighty then.  Somebody feels self-important.  

Aww.  Eugene’s thinking of Rosita and Coco.  They really have evolved into such a sweet, good friendship and I miss them together.  

Literally, I love Princess more each time I see her and hear her open her hilarious mouth.  LOL at her with the ice cream cone.  

Is everybody in ASZ staying in the same damn house?  Whoever broke the board with Carl’s and Judith’s handprints on it needs an ass kicking.  

“Me, too.”  Welp.  Guess RJ’s already met his line quota per appearance 24 minutes in, LOL.  

Aww.  My heart.  A Rosita/Judith scene.  I’m already loving it but not gonna lie.  Who do we have topay to get a Carol/Judith scene because she’s been there since Judith was an embryo?  

“Now it’s broken.  He’s gone.  Everybody is.”  The way this scene is unexpectedly gutting me right now.  Because Rosita’s right.  It never really gets easier.  It’s just something you figure out how to carry.  How many people devastated by Covid or other illness or tragedy are carrying these same feelings of loss and hurt everyday?  

Give us more of those heartfelt moments, dammit.  This girl at least craves them.  Not the endless Maggie/Negan conflict.  

Ouch.  “I think I haven’t met a Whisperer who wasn’t a liar.”  Damn Aaron.  Lydia’s right there beside you. 

Angry Jerry hurts my heart in ways I cannot explain.  

On a completely shallow note, Miko’s brother is attractive too.  I quite like his accent, lol.  I wonder why he’s so hesitant to put his skills as a surgeon to use.  

“Want some cake?”/”Hell, yes.”  Yumiko=me 99% of the time.  LOL.  Just kidding.  In reality, I have to say no.  

“They clearly got a gym in this joint.  Your chiseling is perfecto.”  LMAO.  I’m all for Princess/Mercer.  She flusters him a little and I’m loving it.  When she told him he had beautiful eyelashes, I howled.  

Oh my sweet Aaron.  I’m in the same kind of pain and disbelief as Lydia watching you interrogate that Whisperer.  

Thank you, Carol.  Melissa McBride?  I effing LOVE you.  My heart hurts.  

I’m sure she’s gonna get hate from the usual crowd while they cheer Aaron further along his dark and desperate path.  Yes.  Ya’ll are *that* predictable.  

But Maggie, though?  How long you gonna wait?  Because you gonna be waiting on Daryl’s ass a long time.  

“Cheesy video guy.” LOL.  Leave it to Princess.  Somehow that Lance dude looks even cheesier in RL.  

By the screaming cave?  What the hell is the screaming cave?  

Ohh.  Next episode actually looks interesting.  Thank goodness it’s not a bottle episode strictly focusing on Virgil/Connie though because no matter how much I like Connie/Lauren?  I don’t think whatever story she’s stuck in with Virgil is enough to keep me riveted to the tv.  

Overall impression of this episode--again, I enjoyed it.  Aaron’s dream was dark AF.  Hell.  Aaron was dark AF in this episode.  Ross Marquand did some really strong work and I’m glad he finally got a moment to shine even though I hate seeing him leaning into the darkness instead of his inherent goodness.  Judith and Rosita’s scenes were touching.  Carol/Melissa made me bawl in the span of two minutes.  That’s why she’s the MVP of this show, lovelies.  She does so very much with so little.  I’m just glad we didn’t have to see Leah and her band of bitchass brothers this episode.  

I’m going to miss this show when it’s gone.  At least I’ll have the Carol and Daryl spinoff off to ease my heartache.  

[f1fantasy]

F1 drivers as parents ✨

Lewis - Takes the kids camping so he can teach them about nature and the environment. Super supportive and does the right amount of spoiling so he makes them happy but do not ruin them. Going to the park to play with the dogs and drink slushies is a family favorite.

Bottas - Is the kind of dad that has the picture of his baby daughter in the wallet and wants to show everyone ALL THE TIME. Quiet type of dad but so in love with his baby he would do anything for her. Would definitely wear the #1 dad shirt.

Max - Confused stonks all over the place, does not know how to make a baby bottle, burns his hand, spills it on the floor and makes the kid a fruit salad, discovering afterwards that it was the healthiest way out. Calls the mother EVERY TIME to make sure he’s doing things right.

Alex - Young dad material. Masters every single parenting skill without effort, plays with the kids for hours without getting bored and is a pro at putting them to bed. Afterwards cooks dinner and organizes the toys, perfect guy.

Carlos - Gives balls to the kids even before they are one month old. Teaches a two year old girl soccer and succeeds at it. Mini golf is the go to plan for a Sunday afternoon. The kind of dad that plays sports with kids because he genuinely enjoys spending time like that with them and not because he has to. Hot dad.

Lando - As silly as his kids. Weird faces and dances are his way to make them smile. Super focused on work but when he’s home he gives his undivided attention to the children. A bit overly competitive on videogames but now and then lets the kids win so he feels good at parenting.

Seb - DAD MATERIAL. The kind of dad that sits on the floor and let the girls paint his nails and do makeup and still looks really masculine and lovely. Teaches the kids how to eat healthy but sneaks lollipops and chocolate bars for them without the mother seeing it. Could sit a whole day just watching Barbie and pay attention to the movies.

Charles - HOT DAD pt2. Would dress his kids in the cutest clothes, like they had just jumped out of a magazine. Would sign then up for horse riding and piano classes and subtly cry at every recital or competition because he’d be so proud and that’d be so pretty. Would now and then show up in a different car to pick his son at school so the other kids would go “WOOOOOW THAT’S SICK”.

Checo - Mexican daaaaaaad. Loud dad, kinda strict but super in love with his family. So proud of his children, would skip job to watch his son’s soccer match even if he stayed on the bench the whole time. Everything would be a valid reason for icecream and taco night. Support and validation would be his way to show love.

Lance - Super loving and caring. Would raise his kids by talking and explaining everything, never raising his voice, so they would understand the things and make their own decisions. EXTREMELY patient with everything, in an almost supernatural way. Would be so happy to throw family parties and tell some dad jokes. Family man!!!! Popular among the daycare moms because he looks so charming and is so polite, popular among the kids’ friends because he’s extremely good at EVERY SINGLE SPORT and is willing to teach everyone.

Daniel - That dad who plays soccer with his teenager son and his friends, wins and laughs at their faces. Gets the teens beer without the mother knowing and is a big time friend. The kind of dad that kids are proud to say they have. Had some trouble with the mom in the early years because he taught the kids how to cuss, but learned his lesson and has a key role in education, not just the fun part.

Ocon - Goes from “Look, that’s my daughter! You look amazing! Spin, ballerina” with tears of joy in his eyes to “Mess with my kid and I’ll kill you slowly and painfully” in 0.0000007 seconds. Would dress up as Prince Charming in Halloween and take his little girl’s hand on his and go trick or treating proudly. Would love everything about the kid and be so supportive even on the weird phases (do you want to go EMO? Let’s paint this hair purple! Dad’s got your back!)

Pierre - Treats his daughter like a baby even after she gets married. Is kinda confused about the parenting stuff in the beginning but figures it out as it goes. Takes A LOT of pictures of irrelevant stuff because he just cannot believe that a perfect little girl like that is his daughter. Spoils her a little too much but she grows up to be an amazing brave and kind woman, mirroring her dad.

Kvyat - Kind of dad that laughs when the son falls and runs to help if he starts crying. Wants the boy to play hockey or football or rugby but when he decides to play chess he goes to every match and cheers the hell out and screams his lungs out in support. Absolutely hates boybands but would (angrily) wear a Harry Styles headband to take his babygirl to a concert and to see her happy.

Magnussen - Punk dad that scares the shit out of his kids’ friends (and their dads too). Tries to be strict but melts whenever his daughter makes puppy eyes and asks for dessert before dinner. Jealous and overprotective, also scares the shit out of the daughter’s boyfriend, but tries to socialize with him because she asks to.

Grosjean - Silly dad material. Would try cooking some weird baby food because the specialists say it’s good for the growth process. Smiley pancakes for breakfast and would always tie the laces of his kid’s shoes, in a sign of how much pure affection he has in that heart. Extremely thoughtful about the well-being of his kids and how they’re doing in school and with friends. Super focused on not embarrassing the kids but now and then lets a “daddy loves you, munchkin” slip.

Kimi - Hates everything kid-related except his kids. School meetings? Hates. Parents reunion? Hates. Father’s day soccer match? HATES. Is the kind of dad that TRULY loves that ugly ass coffee and watercolor paint drawing just because his daughter made him. Has tons of folders to save every piece of art, letter, video or school project he ever received and now and then goes and look at them to feel happy. Values hardwork so much he watches 5 times the terrible theater play his son is presenting only because he rehearsed for three months.

Gio - Popular among the daughter’s friends because HE CAN BRAID HAIR!!!! Cooks the same pasta 4 times a week because is his son’s favorite. Chill and respectful dad, super likable and actually funny, but in a cool way. Cool dad. Helps his kids with school projects but by actually helping and not by making everything himself.

Nicky - Shows classic music and movies for the kids so they grow up jamming to the 80’s songs he himself grew up listening. Takes them on snowboard vacations and surf trips even though he looks like a boring dad. The family has a whole “just chilling” aura but he invests and values education - be it socially (being polite, resourceful, kind) or academically (focusing on school, college and learning in general).

George - No one doubted he would be a good dad but everyone got surprised when he turned out naturally gifted for it. He’s not too serious but also not too playful, he educates his children well but also has so much fun with them. Really into father and son long term activities, like building a car from scratch or fully remodeling the backyard garden.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//arranged marriage headcannons//

Characters: Bokuto Koutarou/Sakusa Kiyoomi/Oikawa Tooru because I couldn’t resist him being a prince too

Request: Arranged Royal Marriage!AU Scenarios with Bo and Omi cause we self indulgent af- 😂

Warnings: some swearing

Word Count: 1.5K (~500 a piece)

Notes: Bokuto may have approximately 37 weakness, but I have one and that’s Royalty AUs

Bokuto Koutarou

Oh, he was excited

Finding someone to sit on the throne beside him had been stressing him out since he was 15, so when his parents told him that he had been arranged to marry someone from one of the neighboring kingdoms since birth?  He was relieved. 

He was counting down the days until he would meet you for the first time, but it was still a little wild to him that the first time he’d be meeting you, he would also be getting married?

But, the life of a prince, you know?  And he was just glad that the hard part had been done for him.

Things are a little rocky at the start of your relationship, for sure.  You two were raised very differently and tended to butt heads.  He was still pretty young at only 18, so this prince liked to have his fun, riding around the countryside and neglecting his important duties with some of his most trusted knights.

You, however, were brought up more refined and preferred to focus on your royal day to day routine before doing more of the fun things around the palace.

But, one night as the two of you were laying in bed, just getting to know each other, you had mentioned that you had never gone horse-back riding.  

WELL, Prince Koutarou was not about to have that.  So, here he is, pulling you out of bed at 2 a.m. to take you down to the stables and show you one of his favorite pastimes. 

When I say it was a disaster, I mean it was an absolute fucking disaster.

It started off fine.  You were sitting in front of him so he could hold on to you to make sure that you didn’t fall.  

And you didn’t!

But, he sure as hell did.  He always rode bareback, but because you were riding in front of him, he had to sit further back and uhhhhhh poor prince just slipped right tf off.

You, of course, wanted to stop and check if he was okay, but one problem.  You know nothing about horses.  How did you stop this thing?  Did you just jump off and hope the horse would stop?  Did you say, “Stop”?  You weren’t really even sure how to steer.

Thankfully, Bokuto’s got a pretty loud voice, so he was able to call his horse to a halt as he pulled himself off the ground, limping towards you because the poor baby definitely hurt himself from that fall.

But, he helps you down and decides that maybe you guys should just walk back to the palace.  So, he’s got a hand holding onto the reins of his horse while his other arm is slung around your shoulders for support so he doesn’t further injure himself.

He did eventually teach you how to ride though and when both of you are feeling restless and can’t sleep, you’ll go on midnight rides around the grounds together, sometimes going down to the lake in the woods to skip rocks or play around in the water like little kids.

It does take a while, but you two warm up to one another and form a genuine loving relationship.  He’s a really fun, kind-hearted prince and becomes an even better king to his people

Sakusa Kiyoomi

ANGRY BOY

Okay, he’s not super mad, but he’s definitely less than pleased about finding out that he’s engaged to someone he hasn’t even met.  

He’ll demand to meet with you before the official wedding, stating very clearly that if he doesn’t like you, he will call off the entire thing and just be a lone monarch.  And that’s no empty threat and his parents are well aware of that, so they agree to his terms and arrange for you to arrive a month before the actual ceremony for the two of you to meet and get to know each other a little better before actually getting married.

Kiyoomi didn’t know what he was expecting, but he was not expecting his possible bride-to-be to trip out of her carriage and stumble into his arms.  He certainly was not expecting you to laugh and look up at him and say-

“Looks like I’ve already fallen for you.”

He would’ve dropped you right then and there if it wasn’t rude.

No, I’m kidding.  He thought it was kind of funny, because he found himself laughing along at your cheesy joke.  

Honestly, you were really glad that Prince Kiyoomi requested to meet before the wedding.  The idea of having to move to a whole new kingdom and marry a complete stranger all in one day had you worried and fighting a number of anxieties.  

He would show you all over the kingdom and the castle grounds, but the two of you would frequently find yourself tucked away in the library, telling stories about your respective homes.

The way that your eyes lit up when he would ask you about the history of your kingdom or the bright smile that took over your face when you’re telling him about your favorite shops in the village?

Oh he’s smitten now.  It’s the level of love and respect that you hold for your own kingdom that makes him believe that you would treat this new home the exact same way.  

Scandalous premarital hand holding in the gardens while you’re hidden under the boughs of a willow tree?  Where the two of you are just sitting on a bench, making jokes or making plans for the future and he just sorta . . .  takes your hand? And places a little kiss on your knuckles??  Yeah that’s the good shit right there.

His kingdom’s number one export is precious metals so that got incorporated into his wedding attire.  Like, oh, I don’t know, a black tux with silver and gold embroidery yeah i’m looking at you elle

Oikawa Tooru

He’s not mad, but he’s not happy about it either. 

Tooru sees this as his parents not having faith in him to pick a partner who would be good for the whole of the kingdom.

In reality?  It was a political move.  You were from one of the more powerful kingdoms in the land, so it made sense that the two of you should be united for a physical representation of the new alliance between the two nations.

He moped about it for weeks after the wedding, which only led to you being unhappy as well and writing to your family about how miserable you were with your new husband.  

Your parents were furious, thinking that your new family wasn’t treating you right.  They were close to ending the alliance right then and there, taking you back, and going to war.  Poor Tooru really almost started a whole ass war smh

But, his parents pretty much told him to get over himself and deal with it, because it had already been done and he couldn’t get out of it.

So, Prince Tooru actually took the time to get to know you and?? You were actually?? Really interesting?  Amazing what giving someone a chance will do huh tooru

You both had a very similar interest in novels and would often find yourselves droning on and on for hours about the meanings of certain passages

There’s a lot of just sitting in silence to read together or sitting in his office and reading to him while he worked on whatever he needed to get done for the day.  

Once he’s warmed up to you, he’s a complete tease, but only within the confines of the castle, because that’s filthy and we can’t have that

But, Prince Tooru is full of shit, so the time will come for the two of you to actually have your first kiss and he’s a flustered mess

Like, I’m talking red faced, not looking at you because he’s embarrassed.  He’s never done this before? How are you so calm? He’s convinced that his heart is going to jump out of his chest and you’re just smiling happily at him? 

I promise, this happens before all of your firsts.  First time you hold hands?  His palms are kinda sweaty and every time he remembers that he’s holding your hand he’s panicking internally

But he’s convinced that he looks cool and collected he doesn’t

But it’s fine, because you think it’s kinda cute and it makes you feel better because you’re just as nervous as he is.  You just hide it a lot better.

Please take care of Prince Tooru.  His people have always seen him unfit to lead because of a past injury that never properly healed.  But, it was only because he worked too hard for his kingdom.  He’s a really kind ruler and just wants what’s best for his people.

[ilyrafe]

𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ; 𝒄. 𝒔.

*i’ll name him bruce

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

he is very affectionate with only you and his mother. his mom may be a tiny woman but she has the last word with him, and it’s the same with you. his love language is physical touch, so he’s always with an arm around your waist or shoulders, or holding your hand.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

as a friend, he’s very protective, kind of jealous and super funny. he’s like an older brother; he’ll intimidate your boyfriends, he’ll be annoying, but you know he loves you very much and only wants you to be happy.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

he won’t admit it, but he loves to be cuddled. he’s always expected to be the big man, the protector, and he is all that, but he also likes to be spoiled and loved, and you’re not opposed to cuddle him at all!

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he knows how to cook the basic stuff (so he won’t starve), and he’s fairly organized. his ultimate dream is to own a ranch, have lots of horses and dogs running around.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he’d be devastated, but he wouldn’t be wasting anyone’s time if the relationship were leading nowhere. he’d try to be gentle with you, not to make you cry, and he’d drink until he passed out afterwards.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

he’s very traditional, so yes. he wants to get married, own a ranch, have a bunch of kids and grow old and see their children doing the same, passing on the tradition.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he’s very gentle. he’s not the most refined man in the world, but he has a huge heart of gold and his mother raised him right. he’s very polite (he tries!), he tries not to swear around kids, and with you, it’s another level. he truly treats you like an angel. he’s the kind of guy who puts his jacket over a puddle so you can walk.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

again, only you and his mother. the men of his family are still a little bit uptight with affection. although bruce likes to be held, he just likes it when it’s you and his mother.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

he knows the power of those words, so it takes him a little while. he wants to say them in the right moment with the right person (hint: you!).

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

oh. oh, boy. you’ve talked to him about it, he has nothing to worry about, he should trust you, and he says he trusts you, he doesn’t trust men. he can’t help it, he will lose his shit if he sees a man eyeing your body. he knows what goes through their mind because he’s done it before and he doesn’t want other man thinking filthy shit about his woman.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

he’s such a good kisser. he’s always a tease when he kisses you, and he does this thing where he bites your lip when he finishes the kiss. he’s a passionate kisser, either the kiss is quick or long.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

he likes kids. he likes their innocence and finds it funny when they swear. he wants to have at least three kids, he wants to teach them how to ride horses, how to play soccer and this kind of stuff.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

he normally wakes up very early. he likes to be alone in the mornings, see the sunrise and have a moment of peace with his thoughts.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

if he’s not completely worn out, you’ll have sex. if he’s exhausted, he’ll just put something on the tv and sleep to that sound. and of course, cuddles.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

it’s hard for him to be in touch with his feelings, and he has a lot of stuff in his head that he knows that he needs to let out, but it’s just hard for him. he grew up having to be tough, so being vulnerable and open was not an option. he still sees it as a sign of weakness.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

he’s sort of short tempered, but he’s learning to be more tolerant. he really hates it when stuff don’t go as planned.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he’s old fashioned, so he knows a lot about you. he knows your favorite things, he knows you, and he likes to learn about you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

his favorite moment is when he laid eyes on you for the first time. you were at the local pub, he was celebrating something with his friends and there you were, having a nice chat with your girlfriends. one of them was dating one of his friends and she introduced you to the guys. he can’t explain how he knew it, but he was sure you were going to be in his life.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

he’s very protective, it can be annoying. he’s only relaxed when you’re with him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

although he’s romantic, he’s not very into big gestures. sometimes he forgets an anniversary, but it’s because he’s busy, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, because if it is pointed out to him, he will make it up to you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

when he comes home, after a long day, he’ll just plop down on the couch and take a 30 minute nap, and that’s not the bad part, the problem is that he’ll do it when he’s sweaty and looking like a pig.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he cares about his beard. he treats it like it’s a baby. no one touches syverson’s beard.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

he does, oh my god. he thinks about you constantly, his life only makes sense because you’re in it. his friends teases him saying he’s under the ‘y/n’s effect’, and he doesn’t care, because it’s true.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

it was bruce’s grandma’s 90th birthday, and the whole family was reunited at his grandfather’s ranch. you saw how sweet bruce was with his grandmother. she had a lot of grandchildren, but it was clear bruce was her favorite. he never left her side and she was so happy to meet you.

“oh, my sweet brucie is a honey, isn’t he?”

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

he doesn’t stand when people are ‘always happy’ and vegans.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

besides being cuddled, he only sleeps with the door locked. it’s a safety thing.

[aleator]

day 11 - ranch au (thor/tony)

Tony frowns and squints against the bright Montana sun, bringing up a hand to shade his eyes. “When I said set up a company retreat, I didn’t mean for you to include me.”

“You said a work retreat for company leadership,” Pepper replies, seeming unfazed by the sun despite her pale complexion. “And you are part of the company leadership, for better or for worse.”

“It could have been a wellness retreat. A spa.”

Instead they’re at an honest to God ranch, one that’s supposed to promote team synergy and whatever other bullshit buzzwords they put in the brochures. All Tony knows is that there are horses around, and where there are horses, that’s a place Tony doesn’t want to be.

“Getting massages and mud masks doesn’t help improve leadership skills,” Pepper says.

Tony pouts outright now. “But I’d be happier about it.”

He never gets to hear why he doesn’t deserve to be happy or whatever rejoinder Pepper was planning to come back with because the owner of the ranch comes out to greet their group, and he and Pepper have to be polite and professional as everyone is introduced. The man in the oversized cowboy hat proceeds to tell them all about the ranch and what they’ll be doing here this weekend, but Tony isn’t paying attention anymore. He’s too busy ogling a cowboy.

Or at least he thinks the guy’s a cowboy, even though he’s missing the silly hat like the ranch owner has. No, this guy just emanates pure countryside ruggedness--and he’s also got cowboy boots on, which Tony doesn’t think anyone’s ever looked as good in as this guy has. Moving up from the boots, the man’s dusty, tight-fitting blue jeans and unbuttoned flannel shirt over a tight white t-shirt make him look like he belongs on the cover of some romance novel where a ditzy city girl ends up on a farm for a week and is swept off her feet by the competent, sexy yet wholesome farmhand.

God, Tony wishes he were a ditzy city girl right now.

He’s rudely interrupted from his intricate daydream by a pinch to the arm, and he looks around in confusion. “Sorry, what?”

“We’re splitting into two groups,” Pepper tells him in a way that implies this has been said several times already. “You’re in charge of one, I’m taking the other.”

“Right. Groups. Tally ho.”

They divide up into two groups and a spunky young lady in another cowboy hat comes over to take Pepper’s group away. Pepper and Tony have a brief non-verbal conversation with their eyes wherein Pepper tells Tony to behave before she’s whisked away with her group. Tony grins, but his gloating is short-lived when he sees the sexy romance-cover cowboy walking over to his group and greeting them with an enthusiastic wave.

“Howdy, everyone,” the tall, beefcake ranch hand says. “I’m Thor, I’ll be your guide for today. Now, who here’s ever ridden a horse before?”

Oh, no. He’d always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. Instead he’s going to die of embarrassment on the back of a pony.

A couple members of the group have apparently been horseback riding before, which distracts Thor for a little while and almost gives Tony a chance to escape. Unfortunately, some of the other ranch employees arrive and lead them over to the corral where they do the beginner horseback riding exercises, and Tony is forced to go along with them while Thor explains the basics about horses and saddles and a bunch of stuff Tony fails to internalize. Then they get to go see the horses, and Tony lingers near the back of the group. He’s going to kill Pepper for making him come to this.

“Everything okay?” someone next to him says, and Tony jerks his head up and looks around, startled to find Thor right there beside him.

“Horses don’t bite, right?” he blurts out. Dammit, what the hell was that?

“Not unless you’re planning on feeding one your fingers,” Thor replies with an amused look on his face. “Don’t worry, we only bring out the well-trained bunch for the retreat groups. They’re all real sweethearts.”

“Don’t think I’d ever call a horse a sweetheart, but right. Okay.”

Thor still looks far too amused for Tony’s tastes. “You don’t have to be nervous, Mr…”

“Stark. You can call me Tony.”

Thor’s smirk gives way to surprise. “Tony Stark?”

Tony shrugs. “I’m really only here because my PA made me.”

“Well, let’s see if we can’t make you feel better about the horses at least,” Thor says confidently, getting back in his groove pretty quick. “Come on, I’ll help you out.”

The last thing Tony wants is for the hot cowboy guy to see him be afraid of a horse, but he follows him over to a chestnut-colored mare that Thor says is named, creatively, Chestnut.

Tony snorts. “Who came up with that one?”

Thor stares blankly at him and Tony instantly stammers, “O-oh, I didn’t mean--”

Thor breaks out into a grin and nudges Tony in the shoulder. “I’m only kidding. I would never,” he says, laughing. “Why don’t you pet her to start?”

Petting a horse seems like a daunting task, but Chestnut is just standing there, and Thor is watching him, so he can’t fail step one without feeling like even more of an idiot. Thor even reaches out and pats Chestnut’s neck without any adverse reaction from Chestnut, so Tony reaches out too and does the same, carefully petting Chestnut’s neck.

“See? That wasn’t so bad,” Thor says with an encouraging smile, so bright and earnest that Tony is determined to do whatever Thor asks of him. “Now how about I show you how to ride her?”

Tony’s sweating metaphorical bullets at the prospect, but there’s that smile again, and Tony nods. If Thor thinks he can do it, then he can do it.

An hour later, he’s proven that he can’t do it.

All he’s proven is that he can fall off a stationary horse in such a way that requires he be carried princess-style to the first aid station by the world’s sexiest and most understanding cowboy. While this is very on point for the hypothetical romance novel protagonist he’s created in his head, it’s not a great look for Tony Stark, CEO.

Thor is being a good sport about it at least, even if he keeps trying to hold back his laughter.

“It’s just a sprain,” he announces, finishing his careful check of Tony’s ankle. “Not too badly either. You’ll just have to be careful for a couple days.”

Tony sighs deeply, watching Thor wrap up his ankle with an elastic bandage from the first aid kit. “So much for the amazing synergy-building business retreat.”

“Look on the bright side,” Thor says, glancing up at him with a smirk. “Now you don’t have to ride a horse. And there’s other activities you can join in on.”

“You think this is funny, huh?”

“A little bit,” Thor admits. “Okay, how about this bright side then? You can hang out with me more.”

“Oh yeah?” Tony grins. “Now that’s a synergy-building exercise I can live with.”

[starlessskies94]

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Note: Sorry Ellie :(

Chapter Four

Ellie was tired. She’d barely slept since Joel’s attack and whenever she did, she only ever found herself back there. Pinned to the floor and forced to watch as those fuckers slowly tortured him,  as his screams echoed in her head till she woke in a cold sweat. It had been a couple of weeks since she’d heard that Joel had been sent home but she’d done everything she could to avoid crossing paths with the man. She was already carrying enough guilt without seeing the vacant look in his eyes. She knew it would just make her feel a thousand times worse. In her mind this had all happened because of her. The Fireflies had only gone after Joel because of what he had done to protect her. She had wanted to be angry for so long but now it just seemed pointless. How could she be mad at Joel for something he didn’t even remember doing?! He didn’t know her, she was now just a stranger that had been a part of the rescue that brought him back to Jackson as far as he was concerned.

Even now the girl felt numb, it was the first time in days that she actually managed to venture from her room without instantly wanting to retreat back, to once again shut out the world. But she had a job to do and she was determined to do it. If not for her own sake, then for her mother’s.

“Okay that’s done, what’s next?” Dina asked pulling her girlfriend from her thoughts. Ellie looked back in her direction, moving to the table by the front of the barn for the papers her mom had written for her. “Feed, I think...you remember who has what?”

The young brunette scoffed cockily with a smug grin. “Of course I remember!” She dismissed with a wave of a hand as she walked towards the feed room. While Ellie just rolled her eyes as she followed. “Rightttt, because I'm sure Max didn’t write it all down for you? TWICE!” She could only laugh as Dina flipped her off walking through the door.

Later on as the two finished up tending to the last of the horses, heads bowed and noses snuffling in buckets, it quickly became quiet. All except the sound of the animals slurping and chomping at their breakfast. Ellie found it strangely calming as she and Dina sat and waited for them to finish before continuing on with their jobs.

“How’s Ada?” Dina asked quietly with her head leaning on Ellie’s shoulder. “Not great, I told her to take a couple days off.” She sighed heavily. Her mother had been holding it in, pretending she was able to cope, that she was strong enough to deal with everything that was happening. In truth, Ada blamed herself just as much as her daughter did for what happened to Joel. Perhaps even more so, considering she had been right by his side at the time, supporting his every decision only to now watch him suffer the consequences of them alone. Ellie had had the idea of giving her mom some time at home away from the town gossip and the constant looks, pitiful or otherwise.

The teen knew from first hand experience what it was like to be the talk of the town and she wanted to spare her mother from as much of that as she could...even if it was just a couple of a days.

“Ohh so that’s why we’re on yard duty then?” Dina yawned. Her arms reaching out above her head as she stretched and rose to her feet to peer over Japan’s stable door. The gelding nickering affectionately when she spotted her.

“Yeah but it’s not that bad; you get to spend all day with your boy.”

“That’s true; isn’t that right baby?” She cooed patting Japan softly on his neck as the gelding whined, almost agreeing with his owner.

“I swear you love that horse more than me.”

“I do...but you come in at a close second.”

“Gee thanks.” The redhead mumbled sarcastically with folded arms.

Ellie smiled holding back a laugh when the horse rubbed his feed covered nose against Dina’s arm, her girlfriend yelping in surprise at the mess slobbered against her clothes.

“Oh you think you that’s funny do you!” She gasped. “Yeah I do, whaddya do gonna do huh?” She taunted in amusement.

“Oh I’ll show you! Come here!” Ellie laughed slowly backing away as Dina advanced on her, then suddenly pounced, smearing the muck across her girlfriend’s jacket. Ellie flailing in a feeble attempt to get away.

“Ew you’re so fucking gross!” She giggled out breathlessly, shaking her arms as she tried miserably to clean herself up.

“Eh you love me!” Dina moved to wrap her arms around Ellie’s shoulders, her eyes staring deep into hers, it felt oddly familiar to how they stood at the party that night they first kissed. It seemed so long ago now. But Ellie would always be grateful for it. The only difference was now; was that there were no more doubts. No more nerves of hesitation. Ellie didn’t even have to think about it this time as she pulled her closer with hands placed on her waist.

“Yeah. I do.” She whispered as the two leaned in, lips meeting in a kiss. Their noses brushed as they slowly pulled apart, lost in their own bubble of bliss and happiness. If Ellie couldn’t have her family right now, she was pretty damn grateful for Dina. The girl smiling sweetly in return as Ellie decided right then and there, that there was no doubt this girl was the fucking love of her life. The brunette pressed another kiss to the tip of Ellie’s nose before pulling away.

“Love you too babe, now come on. Your mom will kill us if we don’t get this done.” Ellie nodded silently before following, the two moving to start their next job of cleaning the tack.

They’d just gotten the cleaning supplies together, about to sit down at their work bench, when the sound of tapping and shuffling steps caught their attention.

“Oh hey there girls. Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt but I was looking for Tommy. I’m supposed to meet him here...is he around?”

Ellie froze like a deer in headlights at the man looking down at them from the doorway of the barn.

It was Joel and it was like looking at a ghost. He stood with a cane in his right hand after growing strong enough to no longer need his crutches. But it was clear his bad leg would never fully heal and it was a fact that still made Ellie angry. He looked exhausted. His face covered in near healed cuts and fading bruises. His beard was bushy as ever but some patches were shorter, where the injuries to his face were slowly scabbing over. It was the same for the dark mop of hair on his head that he’d let grow out over the past year. Shorter in parts and left uneven, probably to give it time to grow again. Ellie wasn’t sure.

She felt numb looking at the same man she’d once considered a father, who looked at her now as though she were a stranger. Although she supposed that’s because; to Joel, she was. Dina thankfully seemed to sense her girlfriend’s unease and rose to her feet to answer for the both of them, while Ellie herself just continued to stare.

“It’s okay, Tommy left this early morning to go check on a patrol route just outside the wall. But he’s due to be back soon if you want to wait.” She offered and Ellie felt like punching her.

What was she thinking?! That five minutes standing together in the barn would be enough to bring back Joel’s memories. The teen gave her knowing look, almost apologising with her eyes. But Ellie wanted to respect her mother’s wishes and if she was being honest, she agreed with the idea to give Joel time to process everything.

“You sure? I wouldn’t wanna get under your feet.” He said with a small smile, trying to lean his weight on his good leg. His fist tightening around the cane as he balanced himself. “No, it’s no problem at all. You can come see the horses too. Might as well seeing as one of them is yours.” Dina smiled politely.

It seemed that was enough to convince the man as he hobbled over to the stable Dina was stood by. A large bay gelding thoroughbred twitched his ears and reached over the door to sniff at Joel’s jacket the closer he got.

“Hey there fella.” Joel murmured. The horse responding affectionately as he nuzzled against the hand raised to stroke his nose.

“That’s Duke. He’s your boy.” Dina said. Almost pulling Ellie to stand closer to the door by Joel by her sleeve. Her feet dragging along the floor as she froze again, her eyes never leaving Joel as he smiled at Duke.

“That right? Well probably explains why he recognises me, I wish I could say the same boy.” It was mumbled but both Dina and Ellie heard, noticing the sadness that creeped along Joel’s face the longer he looked up at the large animal. Thankfully it seemed to pass quickly when his eyes glanced back at the girls beside him.

“I think I know you two...Ella right?” He pointed to Ellie and she almost jumped from her skin when the older man addressed her. Her hands anxiously pulling at the sleeves of her jacket.

“Errm...Ellie.” She quietly corrected. “Annd this...this is Dina. My girlfriend, we were part of the group that brought you back to Jackson.” Her hands were shaking the whole time she spoke and when her words were finished, her throat was dry and she almost coughed to rid the lump that was forming. But Joel just smiled in that same old Joel way that he did. She was thankful for the fact that at least the attack hadn’t taken that from him.

“Well thank you Ellie and Dina, I’m real grateful. You two seem like good kids.” Ellie almost beamed from the feeling of getting praise from Joel again after so long. It took her back to Pittsburgh all over again, being taught how to shoot. The pride of knowing she was doing a good job, Joel had said so back at Bill’s. When he’d jumped down to join Ada by the road she’d meant what she’d said to him.

‘I won’t let you down.’

Except now she had and she felt more than guilt as she looked at Joel beside her. But he seemed so content, fussing Duke with a lazy smile as he did. It was strange to miss a man that was standing right in front of her.

“Hey uh...meant to ask before but uh...you wouldn't happen to have a horse named Callus here would ya?” Joel asked suddenly and Ellie’s heart almost stopped instantly as her eyes widened slightly. Once again Dina noticed straight away as her hand slipped into Ellie’s to try to ground her.

“No, I don’t think so. Why are you remembering something?” The young brunette asked gently.

Joel thought for a second before shaking his head.

“Nah, just the name kept coming to me. Probably nothing. Kind of a ridiculous name for a horse anyway.” He chuckled and Ellie felt her heart ache.

“Well I think I’ve kept you young ladies from your work long enough. I’d hate for y'all to get in trouble on my account. I’ll try catching Tommy by the gate on his way back.” he shuffled on his feet to turn back towards the door, his weight held firmly on his cane. “Sure no problem, it was nice talking to you.” Dina said and Joel nodded in response then waved at the girls as he disappeared back towards the town.

Ellie watched silently as he left. All the while Dina held her hand, her soft eyes looking back to the redhead when Joel was gone. Her hand slipped from Ellie’s and wrapped around her in a hug.

“Babe, you okay?” She whispered. She could see Ellie’s eyes welling, her lips trembling as she slowly shook her head.

“I just want to go home.”  

[missramu]

Johnny Joestar Headcanons

So, I was really bored and decided to write about my favorite Jojo, 𝓙𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝔂! This is a mix of headcanons with some canon stuff.

So, here we go!

✰ Johnny was that typical doll-like perfect baby: curly blond hair, pale skin, pink cheeks, little freckles and big blue eyes that followed everything with curiosity. The clothes he used to wear also helped to mantain that look: in the Victorian era, babies from wealthy families used to wear dresses with plenty of ruffles, laces, ribbons, buttons and frills -no matter their sex- and bonnets. Nowadays he still has freckles; although not that many. They’re mostly on his cheeks and arms.

✰As we know, Johnny is the youngest of two brothers (being Nicholas 5 years older tan him). This, plus the fact that he also looked really fragile, made his mother really over-protective of him. This was usually seen as Johnny’s being Anne’s favorite, but she only wanted to protect his youngest son. The way his mom treated him made Johnny a shy, yet kind, child. That kindness made him adopt Danny, as well as taking care of Slow Dancer even if he knew that she was old and almost ruthless.

✰ His hair gets wavy in humid weather. When he was a child his hair was a curly mess after taking baths, but now it simply curls in soft waves, which he tries to straighten as much as possible.

✰He was born in Danville, Kentucky; so he has a heavy Southern accent. But since the Joestar family used to constantly travel to Britain -and actually lived there for some years-, Johnny added some British idioms to his vocabulary, thus resulting in a funny combo of British slang said in heavy Southern accent.

✰He grew up in a wealthy family -his father was tied to aristocracy, and also was a famous racer and breeder, having won the Triple Crown seven times and owning farms to breed racing horses-, so he’s a little bit of a spoiled brat sometimes. This status also made him picky over certain things, like food or baths.

✰Johnny was educated to be a “British gentleman” and, even if his own personality sometimes makes him fail at it, he still tries to behave as polite as possible. One habit that stayed with him was the one to note everything down, showing off his fine calligraphy and his accountant skills. The Joestar kid also knows Latin and Greek, as he was schooled. He even went to Oxford for a short period of time.

✰Johnny has never been fond of dark colours; he has always preferred to dress up in light ones. Luckily, they suit him.

✰Since he was a child, he has proved to be very perceptive of his surroundings, as well as being able to read the mood quite easily. Johnny is also good at focusing, what makes him a really good shooter -probably hunting would have been one of his hobbies, if he wasn’t kind and compassionate-. He has proved to being able to shoot at little and/or moving targets, even if firing from odd angles and perspectives.

✰Johnny loved his mother, and would try to follow her everywhere like a duckling would follow its mother. It wasn't surprising that his first words were "mama". His next word was "horsie", and would enthusiastically say it as he pointed to the horses in the fields when the family decided to take a walk around the farm.

✰In the Victorian era, it was common for toddlers to rarely be in contact with their parents; as they were mostly raised by a nanny. He did have a nanny -whom he loved deeply-, but his mother was still around at all times; she was always there for him. Despite breaking this usual thing, he was indeed raised to be like the stereotypical Victorian child: proper, polite and quiet.

✰The youngest Joestar loved to visit the horses in the family farms, enjoying their company. His fondness for these animals evolved into his skills as a jockey; as he also is well-versed in equine science.

✰Johnny was five when he first rode a horse, and his father quickly considered him a genius. The young boy quickly started to believe this as an irrefutable truth, his ego beginning to grow. Although he indeed is a genius with plenty of skills that allow him to ride across many types of terrain, or even challenge fellow genius jockey -ahem, Diego Brando-; having such a big ego ended up wounding him.

✰Even if George did praise his early horse-riding skills, the rest of Johnny’s childhood was marked by a strained relationship with him. His father was unnecessarily severe, to the point of physically punishing Johnny. He also favored Nicholas immensely, belittling the younger one with constant comparisons. After Nicholas’ death, George was convinced that “God had taken the wrong son” and took out his sadness and rage on Johnny. This cruel behaviour caused Johnny great pain, and an enormous feeling of inferiority.

✰Anne's death was a big shock for the youngest Joestar. He felt like he had lost the only support he had in the family; his mother would comfort him after his father scolds and punishments. She also happened to die a short time before Nick's accident. Johnny was 9 when his brother died; and around 7-8 when Anne died. His father cruel behaviour towards Johnny hurt him, and the little boy was upset because he didn't entirely comprehend why his mom wasn't coming back.

✰The only one who calls him by his full name -Jonathan- is his father, and he despises it. Nowadays, hearing his full name triggers something on him, reacting with some kind of fear. He was used to listen to his father call him only to point out his mistakes and scold him; so hearing “Jonathan” makes him have that kind of reaction.

✰He is a magnificent horse tamer, as seen with Slow Dancer: the horse was introduced as wild and ruthless, but she warmed up to Johnny, to the point of helping him get on her by hoisting him and rolling him down his neck and into the saddle.

✰After his father disowned him and threw him out of the Joestar household, Johnny, in shock, decided to shut himself off. With this, he also created a vain and narcissistic facade in order to hide the sadness this rejection caused him.

✰He tried to take Black Rose -Nicholas’ horse- with him when he was disowned.

✰After he was disowned, when Father’s Day arrived, Johnny used to spend the day in a sour mood, secluded and probably drinking, trying to forget his lame childhood.

✰With his pride harmed, he decided to prepare for the Kentucky Derby, winning it at the age of 16. He made it out of spite, trying to prove his father wrong and growing his own ego; maybe he couldn’t defeat Diego back in the UK, but he won the Derby. He still believes that winning the Derby was his greatest accomplisment.

✰When he was shot and paralyzed, Johnny felt his own pride crushing him: everything he showed off suddeny vanished. Unable to ride again, the horse-riding promise fell into oblivion; he lost all the friends and respect he had earned as a jockey. No one came to visit, leaving him behind; even his own father disappeared from his life, not even visiting him in the hospital. For that, Johnny is used to being abandoned: he forces himself to not get attached to anyone, since he believes that they’ll probably leave him.

✰During his stay in the hospital, the nurses used to dose him with morphine. They did it in order to shut him up –the poor boy was in terrible pain-, but for that, he got addicted to morphine. Luckily, it was only for a short time, since he managed to get clean several months after leaving the hospital.

✰Due to having such a big ego, now his past glory crushes him. He hates how he lost everything in such a pathetic way; but also believes he deserves it.

✰Surprisingly, his arms and chest are really strong; because he is always using them to crawl around and to lift himself.

✰Due to his light complex and weight, he is terribly ticklish.

✰He is a Christian, and believes in Fate and karma, but in a kind of wretched way. Johnny believes that, throughout the years, Fate itself was taking revenge on him for his misdeeds; and that he deserved every misfortune he received. His obsession with the Corpse showed his obsession with karma too, and how he wanted to reset it to a neutral state, paying off his negative debt. His beliefs in Fate explains his lack of confidence and constant panic of losing everything, since he firmly believes that Fate could at any moment take away his hopes.

✰Johnny has depression and, for this, a lack of confidence. He considers himself a useless person, a burden, and unworthy of love. This gloomy perspective of life came from his youth, making him a pessimistic man.

✰TW//suicide. He has considered -and tried- to commit suicide; but he couldn’t. He claims that it’s because he’s a “coward that hates pain, and doesn’t have the balls to finish everything”; but, deep down, it’s because he holds on to even the smallest hope.

✰TW//self harm. He has several scars: the ones on his arms are smaller, and were self-inflicted -self-harm and suicide attempts-. He also has some scars on his legs, caused by wounds he got by trying to stand up, walk and ride; but the biggest scar is the one covering half his back, as a memento from the accident. The bullet left a mark, surgery made it ugly, and the abuse he endured during his stay in the hospital made it worse. Therefore, he now is ashamed and self-concious of his back.

✰Seeing his legs makes him feel weak, and he hates that. He also despises feeling as defenceless as when someone picks him up to carry him without his consent. He truly hates feeling powerless, and it also makes him incredibly angry -and lowkey sad-. He can only tolerate this if it’s someone who he deeply trusts and knows, and only if he has asked for it.

✰At first, he wouldn’t let anyone touch neither his legs nor his back; but after warming up a little, he would tolerate caresses and gentle pats.

✰He also hates when people look at him with sorrow or as if they were pitying him. He may be disabled, but he’s still perfectly capable of plenty of things. Usually, he will reject any kind of help as politely as possible, but his anger will show.

✰Meeting Gyro made him throw away his harsh facade. At first, he was uncaring of everyone else save himself, only maintaining a polite but cold demeanour towards people he met; but Gyro’s influence made Johnny slightly more friendly.

✰ Gyro also made a great impact in Johnny’s perspective of life; not all of a sudden, but in gradual steps. The Italian man gave him hope, helped him to knock out his lack of confidence, gave him some assurance and optimism and also was genuinely nice to him, making Johnny grateful for meeting him. He treasures their relationship deeply.

✰Johnny doesn’t belittles Slow Dancer for being old, as he knows that she has plenty of experience as a Racing horse, and plenty of stamina. He truly knows his mare, possessing great knowledge of her: he knows and perceives her abilities and limits, and is able to predict what Slow Dancer will be capable of. They have grown quite close to each other, and she ocasionally nudges and licks him gently. Johnny loves this.

✰Sometimes, to kill some time, he and Gyro will exchange curses and slang in their respective languages. Gyro finds American sayings strange.

✰Gyro and Johnny had a hard time understanding each other in the beginning of their relationship: the older man had a thick Italian accent, and Johnny had to decipher what the hell was he trying to say. After a while, they grew used to each other's accents, but Gyro still made fun of Johnny's.

✰ His determination doesn’t waver, despite having failed several times. Johnny focuses on his goals, and puts them above anything else. He is also willing to endure severe wounds in order to reach them. And if you also add his stuborness…

✰The man is REALLY stubborn. If he wants to get something, he WILL, no matter what. If he has to, he will be violent or kill his opponents. This is called as “dark determination flickering in his eyes”, indicating a ruthlessness which would make Johnny able to kill in cold-blood. For this, he may seem amoral and selfish, even extending this to the interest of his loved ones. Yet he isn’t truly amoral, protecting defenceless people and taking damage to protect the ones he cares about.

✰He’s rather impulsive and hot-headed, which makes him take action as soon as possible. Sometimes, he might end up regretting not thinking BEFORE acting.

✰ Johnny would do anything for his loved ones:

Even if he’s afraid of his father, he has always tried his hardest to live up to his expectations.

He loved Nicholas deeply and looked up to him as an idol, and blames himself for his death. After he died, he became guilt-ridden, believing that his brother’s death was his own fault and that he should have died instead.

He was willing to abandon the Corpse Parts he had to save Gyro.

(JOJOLION SPOILERS!) When Rina was struck with the Rock Disease, Johnny stole the Corpse to make it transfer the disease away from her, not caring who would receive it and suffer in her place. But when the disease transfered to his son, he healed him by transfering it to himself, dying in order to save his wife and son.

✰He’s the CEO of being done with everyone’s bullshit. He’s angry 85% of the time, and usually cries out of anger.

✰ He’s also a sarcastic little shit. Any stupid questions you make him will be answered with his fine sarcasm.

✰He’s HORNY! This is shown with his bug bite fetish and the fact that he has been involved in at least one threesome. He doesn’t mind empty sex either -as he slept with several girls who came to him only for his fame-. He’s also bisexual.

✰When it comes to affection, he prefers to show his emotions through actions. For him, they speak louder.

✰Regarding to affection, Johnny will deny it; but he is touch-starved. The man really loves hugs and physical contact. He likes to hold on tight and get as close as posible. Since he doesn’t usually speak out loud his emotions, he will show them physically. However, he would rather be held, feeling loved and protected.

✰He feels guilty when someone falls in love with him, since he believes he’s not worthy of happiness nor love. He tends to think that he’s making them waste their time on him, when they could be with someone who could provide them with what they deserve. He can’t help but compare himself to others, belittling himself.

✰When he has a crush, he will do anything to deny it. He doesn’t want to admit how someone began to be so important to him, and is afraid that “Fate” might take them away from him. If he has to avoid them, he will; just to get away and not face his feelings.

✰George does reconcile with Johnny, and feels ashamed of how he treated his own son. He claims to be proud of him now, and even gives Johnny Nicholas’ boots. At first Johnny was resentful and wasn’t planning on forgiving him, since he believed that his father was only coming back for his recovered fame. After a couple weeks he decided against that, forgiving George and honouring him by naming his only son after him.

✰Nicholas’ boots were one of his most beloved possessions, and were passed down as a family relic.

✰If Rina had allowed him to name their daughter, he would have called her Anne, in honour to his mother.

✰In Japan, the Joestar-Higashikata family lived in a farm. Although the place is designed in the Japanese traditional way, Johnny couldn't help but give it some Western touches, specifically to the barns. These ones were designed to be as similar as the ones his father had in Britain and Danville. It made Johnny nostalgic, but in a gentle and warm way; he purposefully made them like that, so he could remember his roots.

✰They were quite wealthy: not only for the Higashikata's fruit business, but also for Johnny's connection with the Japanese government.

✰As a horse-riding teacher, his pupils loved and respected him deeply. Johnny liked discipline -as he took his profession seriously-, but was also very kind to them, treating them with the respect he never received.

✰Obviously, he taught his children to ride as early as possible.

[ninja-muse]

i’m trying to branch out and read outside my genre (fantasy) do you have any book recs for someone whose heart is in fantasy but needs to see what else is out there?

Hi anon! Thanks for the ask! Fantasy’s such a wide genre, and this is such an open ask, that I’m mostly going to be recommending books with similar feels or themes from other genres, to push you a little outside the fantasy bubble and introducing you to different genres and types of storytelling. If you have a favourite subgenre or trope or author, I can maybe get a little more specific or offer read-alikes.

Also, I don’t know if you knew this before asking, but fantasy is my favourite genre too, so some of these recs are books that pushed me out of the genre as well, or that I found familiar-but-different.

And this is getting long, so I’m going to throw it under a cut to save everyone scrolling.

Science fiction

the Vorkosigan saga by Lois McMaster Bujold - This is space opera, which means it’ll have fairly familiar plots except with science-y things instead of magic. There’s an heir with something to prove, heists, cons, and mysteries, attempted coups and assassinations, long-suffering sidekicks, and a homeworld that’s basically turn-of-the-century Russia but with fewer serfs. It was one of the first adult sci-fi books I read and genuinely liked.

The Book of Koli by M.R. Carey - I finished this recently, and the second book of the trilogy just came out. This is post-apocalyptic sci-fi, but not grim or particularly complex. (Some SF gets really into the nuts and bolts of the science elements; this isn’t that.) Basically, Koli’s a teenager who wants more than his quasi-medieval life’s given him, and finds himself in conflict with his village (and then exile) because of it. I could see where the story was going pretty much from the start, but I loved the journey anyway.

The Martian by Andy Weir - This doesn’t have much in common with fantasy, but it’s my go-to rec for anyone who’s never read science fiction before, because it’s funny, explains the science well, and has a hero and a plot you get behind right away. In case you haven’t heard of it (or the film), it’s about an astronaut stranded on Mars, trying to survive long enough to be rescued.

Foreigner by C.J. Cherryh - This is an alien first contact story, about a colony of humans in permanent quarantine on an alien planet. The MC is the sole social liaison and translator, explaining his culture to the aliens and the aliens to the human, and working to keep the peace—until politics and assassins get involved. It’s been over a decade since I read this, so my memory’s blurred, but I remember the same sort of political intrigue vibes as the Daevabad trilogy, just with fewer POVs.

Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor - One from my TBR. It looks like dark fiction about women, outcasts, and revenge, which sounds very fantastic and the MC can apparently do magic—but it’s post-apocalyptic Africa.

Speaking of political intrigue and sweeping epic plots, the Expanse series by James S.A. Corey has both in spades. Rebellions, alien technology, corrupt businesses, heroes doing good things and getting bad consequences, all that good stuff. It takes the science fairly seriously, without getting very dense with it, and will probably register as “more sci-fi” than my recs in the genre so far.

Oh, and Dune by Frank Herbert is such a classic chosen-one epic that it barely registers as science fiction at all.

Graphic novels

It’s technically fantasy, but assuming you’ve never picked up a graphic novel before, you should read Monstress by Marjorie Liu. Asian-inspired, with steampunk aesthetics, and rebellions and quests and so many female characters. It’s an absolutely fantastic graphic novel, if you want a taste of what those can do.

I’d highly recommend Saga by Brian K. Vaughan. It’s an epic science fiction story about a family caught between sides of a centuries-long war. (Dad’s from one side, Mom’s from the other, everyone wants to capture them, their kid is narrating.) It’s a blast to read, exciting and tense, with hard questions and gorgeous tender moments, and the world-building somehow manages to include weaponized magic, spaceship trees, ghosts, half-spider assassins, and all-important pulp romance novels without anything feeling out of place.

Historical fiction

Hild by Nicola Griffith - Very rich and detailed novel following a girl growing up in an early medieval English court. It’s very fantasy-esque, with battles and politics and changes of religion, and Hild gets positioned early on to be the king’s seer, so there’s “magic” of a sort as well.

The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry - A widow goes to the Victorian seaside to heal and reawaken her interest in biology. Slow, gentle, lovely writing and atmosphere, interesting characters and turns of plot. Doesn’t actually deliver on the sea monster, but still has a lot to recommend it to fantasy readers, I think.

Yiddish for Pirates by Gary Barwin - The late-medieval Jewish pirate adventure you didn’t know you wanted. It’s funny and literary, full of tropes and set pieces like “small-town kid in the big city” and “jail break”, and features the Spanish Inquisition, Columbus, the Fountain of Youth, and talking parrots, among other things.

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett - A thousand pages about the building of a cathedral in England, mostly focusing on the master builder, the monk who spearheads the project, and a noblewoman who’s been kicked off her family’s land, but has several other plots going on, including a deacon with political ambitions, a war, and a boy who’s trying so hard to fit in and do right.

Sharon Kay Penman - This is an author on my TBR, who comes highly recommended for her novels about the War of the Roses and the Plantagenets. Should appeal to you if you liked Game of Thrones. I’m planning to start with The Sunne in Splendour.

Lady of the Forest by Jennifer Roberson - Either a Robin Hood retelling that’s also a romance, or a romance that’s also a Robin Hood retelling.

Hamnet & Judith by Maggie O’Farrell - A novel of the Shakespeare family, mostly focused on his wife and son. Lovely writing and a very gentle feel though it heads into dark and complex subjects fairly often. A good portrait of Early Modern family life.

Mystery

There’s not a lot of mystery that reads like high, epic, or even contemporary fantasy, but if you’re a fan of urban fantasy, which is basically mystery with magic in, then I’d rec:

Cozy mysteries as a general subgenre, especially if you like the Sookie Stackhouse end of urban fantasy, which has romance and quirky plots; there are plenty of series where the detective’s a witch or the sidekick’s a ghost but they’re solving non-magical mysteries, and the genre in general full of heroines who are good at solving crimes without formal training, and the plots feel very similar but with slightly lower stakes. Cozies have become one of my comfort-reading genres (along with UF) the last few years. My intros were the Royal Spyness novels by Rhys Bowen and the Fairy Tale Fatale books by Maia Chance.

If you like your urban fantasy darker and more serious, and your heroines more complicated, try Kathy Reichs and her Temperance Brennan novels. Brennan’s a forensic anthropologist, strong and complicated in the same ways of my fave UF heroines, and the mysteries are already interesting, with a good dash of thriller and a smidge of romance.

Two other recs:

Haunted Ground by Erin Hart - The first of four books about a forensic anthropologist in Ireland, who’s called in when the Garda find bodies in the peat bogs and need to know how long they’ve been there. They’re very atmospheric—I can almost smell the bog—and give great portraits of rural Ireland and small-town secrets, and since not all the bodies found in each book are recent, they also bring interesting slices of the past to life as well.

A Burnable Book by Bruce Holsinger - This is essentially a medieval thriller about a seditious book that’s turned up in London. I liked the mystery in it and that it’s much more focused on the lives of average people than the rich and famous (for all that recognizable people also show up).

Classics

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift - I swear this is actually one of the first fantasy novels but few people ever really class it as such. Basically, Gulliver’s a ship’s doctor who keeps getting shipwrecked—in a country of tiny people, a country of giants, a country of mad scientists, a country of talking horses, etc. It’s social satire and a spoof of travelogues from Swift’s time, but it’s easily enough read without that context.

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll - Another, slightly later, fantasy and satire! Even more amusing situations than in Gulliver’s Travels and, while it’s been a while* since I read it, I think it’ll be a decent read-alike for authors like Jasper Fforde, Genevieve Cogman, and that brand of light British comic fantasy.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare - Also technically a fantasy! I mean, there are fairies and enchantments, for all it’s a romantic comedy written entirely in old-fashioned poetry. It’s a pretty good play to start you off on Shakespeare, if you’re interested in going that direction.

On the subject of Shakespeare, I would also recommend Much Ado About Nothing, Macbeth, and King Lear, the first because it’s my favourite comedy, the others because they’re fantasy read-alikes imo as well (witches! coups! drama!).

the Arthurian mythos. Le Morte D’arthur, Crétien de Troyes, The Once and Future King by T.H. White, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain, etc. - I’ve read bits and pieces of the first two, am about 80% sure I read the third as a kid (or at least The Sword in the Stone), and have the last on my TBR. Basically, these stories are going to give you an exaggeratedly medieval setting, knights, quests, wizards, fairies, high drama, romantic entanglements, and monsters, and the medieval ones especially have different kinds of plots than you’ll be used to (and maybe open the door to more medieval lit?) **

Beowulf and/or The Odyssey - Two epics that inspired a lot of fiction that came later. (There’s an especial connection between Beowulf and Tolkien.) They’re not the easiest of reads because they’re in poetry and non-linear narratives, but both have a hero facing off against a series of monsters and/or magical creatures as their core story.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley - The first real science fiction novel. It’s about the ethics of science and the consequences of one’s actions, and I loved seeing the Creature find himself and Frankenstein descend into … that. It’s also full of sweeping, gothic scenes and tension and doom and drama.

* 25 years, give or take

** There are plenty of more recent people using King Arthur and associated characters too, if this "subgenre” interests you.

Other fiction

Vicious by V.E. Schwab - I don’t know if you classify superheroes as science fiction or fantasy or its own genre (for me it depends on the day) but this is an excellent take on the subject, full of moral greyness and revenge.

David Mitchell - A literary fiction writer who has both a sense of humour and an interest in the fantastic and science fictional. He writes ordinary people and average lives marvelously well, keeps me turning pages, plays with form and timelines, and reliably throws in either recurring, possibly-immortal characters, good-vs-evil psychic battles, or other SF/F-y elements. I’d start with either Slade House, a ghost story, or Utopia Avenue, about a ‘60s rock band. Or possible The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, which I fully admit to not having read yet.

Devolution by Max Brooks - A horror movie in book form, full of tension and desperation and jump scares and the problems with relying on modern technology. The monsters are Bigfeet. Reccing this one in the same way I’m reccing The Martian—it’s an accessible intro to its genre.

Son of a Trickster by Eden Robinson - Contemporary fiction with a slight literary bent, that doesn’t pull its punches about Indigenous life but also has a sense of humour about the same. Follows a teen dealing with poverty and a bad home life and drugs and hormones—and the fact that his bio-dad might actually be the trickster Raven. Also features witches, magic, and other spirit-beings, so I generally pitch this as magic realism.

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones - Another Indigenous rec, this time a horror novel about ghosts and racism and trying to do the right thing. This’ll give you a taste of the more psychological end of the horror spectrum.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia - A good example of contemporary YA and how it handles the complexities of life, love, and growing up. Follows the writer of a fantasy webcomic who makes a friend who turns out to write fic of her story and who suddenly has to really balance online and offline life, among other pressures. Realistic portrait of mental health problems.

Non-fiction

The Book of Margery Kempe - The first English-language autobiography. Margery was very devout but also very badass, in a medieval sort of way. She went on pilgrimages to Jerusalem, was possibly epileptic, frequently “saw” Christ and Mary and demons, basically became a nun in middle age while staying married to her husband, and wound up on trial for heresy, before talking a monk into writing down her life story. It’s a fascinating window into the time period.

The Hammer and the Cross by Robert Ferguson - A history of medieval Norse people and how their explorations and trade shaped both their culture and the world.

A Time of Gifts by Patrick Leigh Fermor - Travel writing that was recommended to me by someone who raved about the prose and was totally right. Fermor’s looking back, with the aid of journals, on a walking trip he took across Europe in the 1930s. It’s a fascinating look at the era and an old way of life, and pretty much every “entry” has something of interest in it. He met all sorts of people.

Tim Severin and/or Thor Heyerdahl - More travel writing, this time by people recreating historical voyages (or what they believe to be historical voyages, ymmv) in period ships. Severin focuses on mythology (I’ve read The Ulysses Voyage and The Jason Voyage) and Heyerdahl’s known for Kon-Tiki, which is him “proving” that Polynesians made contact with South America. They both go into the history of the sailing and areas they’re travelling through, while also describing their surroundings and daily life, and, yes, running into storms and things.

Hope this helps you!