#because it's not a child and an adult anymore

[muwapsturniolo]

⋆.˚ 𝐈'𝐦 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ⋆.˚

IN WHICH...a wallflower finds solace in her life thanks to a boy who gives her the will to live

WARNINGS...mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts! depressive thoughts, alcohol, weed, IF I FORGOT ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW

BTW, the series playlist is linked in the title!

THIS SERIES IS NOT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE , OR FORM TRYING TO ROMANTICIZE DEPRESSION OR SUICIDE! THIS IS SIMPLY A FIC THAT IS SUPPOSED TO SHOW THE STRUGGLES OF MENTAL HEALTH AND HOW SOMETIMES WE JUST NEED TO FEEL LIKE WE BELONG TO FEEL BETTER! IF YOU SUFFER WITH ANY TYPE OF MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLE, PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP! AT THE END OF EACH CHAPTER I WILL PROVIDE A PHONE NUMBER FOR THE SUICIDE HOTLINE!

Matilda.

A movie about a young girl who was ignored at times by her family, or simply just treated horribly for existing.

She related to that.

From a young age she was ignored by her parents, the adults constantly forgetting they even had a child to tend and take care of.

They would leave her home alone without even mumbling a goodbye, they wouldn't even leave a note. The birthdays she wished to celebrate every year were forgotten, the holidays she would see being celebrated on TV in grand and dramatic ways were never like that for her.

She thought it would be different at school.

She'd seen the TV shows of kids having big groups of friends, having nice and welcoming teachers, and having fun.

She was wrong.

In elementary school she was bullied, the kids making fun of her hair and clothes. They made fun of the fact she was soft-spoken and always reading the 'Magic Tree House' books. Her teachers never did anything about it, and she didn't want them to.

She would take bullying over being ignored any day.

Then, middle school happened.

The bullying had stopped, but not because the kids felt bad, they grew tired of her. They treated her like she was a nuisance making their lives unbearable. To make it worse, her teachers felt the same way. She would raise her hand to answer a question, and the teacher would roll their eyes while her classmates would mock her and call her a 'suck up' or 'annoying". Her peers would bump into her in the hallways and yell in her face to move.

A vivid memory of hers was when she bumped into Lacey Sanders in the lunchroom, spilling her lunch all over her brand-new white top. Lacey lost it, she pushed the girl to the floor, screaming in her face that she was a waste of space and should have never been born.

It was embarrassing.

So embarrassing that she raced out of the lunchroom and straight to the bathroom where she had her first panic attack.

She began to believe the callous words and actions around her.

Maybe she was annoying, maybe she was a suck-up, maybe she shouldn't have been born...

It seemed as the school year went on and people began to forget the lunchroom incident, they began to forget about her too.

High school soon came along, and that's when she realized how invisible she truly was.

No one would give her dirty looks anymore, they would bump into her in the hallways and continue to walk as if she were an inanimate object. Her teachers would either mark her absent or not even call her name during attendance.

It's like she didn't exist.

She blended into the crowd, but she wasn't a part of the crowd,

She was an empty shell, a ghost begging, screaming, pleading to be noticed,

Just like she's doing now.

It was a cold December night in Boston, a few days before Christmas. The streetlights illuminate the icy roads, showcasing the flurries of snow flying around. The streets were basically empty, the majority wanting to escape the cold, but not her.

She loved the cold.

She loved the way the crisp air pierced her skin, numbing her fingers and toes. She loved how when she breathed out, she could see the carbon dioxide, showing that she was in fact there and alive much to her dismay and others.

Her hands grip the cold railing tightly, her palms burning from the frost coating the metal. The murky water below was currently sloshing against the rocks violently, the noise so loud yet calming at the same time.

She couldn't help but wonder if her end would be the same,

Violent and loud, yet calming.

She takes a shakey breath and looks away from the water, looking behind her and watching as a few people walk by...Ignoring her.

They were dressed in their winter attire, laughing and talking about the holidays to come and how excited they were to spend time with family. They weren't worried about the 17-year-old girl on the bridge.

Why would they worry?

As much as she wanted someone to notice her, to stop her from ending it all and tell her it's ok, she knew they wouldn't

They don't care.

"They don't care," she murmurs to herself.

Her eyes began to burn, she wasn't sure if it was the cold air or the tears forming in her eyes, but she didn't care...Not anymore. She closes her eyes and faces forward once more, the noise around her beginning to soften as the rushing water grows louder in her ears. Her grip on the railing began to loosen, a faint smile gracing her face.

This is it.

She's finally going to be at peace.

Just as she begins to let go, a hand firmly grabs her shoulder and yanks her backward, her back hitting the railings harshly. Her eyes snap open and she whips her head around, coming face to face with a boy who looks out of breath. 

His eyes are wide and filled with genuine fear, but he has a smile on his face.

“Come to a party with me!”

She blinks in confusion, not sure if she heard him correctly. "w-what?"

" Come to a party with me. It's not a huge party really. It's just me, my brothers, and a few friends in Nate's basement. We're going to watch Christmas movies, play games, drink, smoke..."

Despite the tension in the air and his body, the boy keeps a smile on his face, begging internally for the girl to agree.

"You don't even know me..."

"Well I want to..."

He wants to know her.

Someone wants to know her.

Her grip on the railing tightens once more as she begins to feel conflicted. She wanted to end it, she was tired of hurting in silence, yet here he was, a stranger, inviting her to a party.

Was this the universe finally answering her wishes, or was she already dead and in her own version of heaven?

"Come on, it will be fun...We have pizza."

He was warm and inviting, the cheesy smile on his face and the crinkle by his eyes proving that much. It was a nice change compared to the coldness she felt in her life.

She hesitantly nods to his invitation, the action accruing before she even realizes she's doing it. He quickly drops his bags to the ground and yanks her over the railing, holding her close as he mutters a 'Thank God' to himself once he realizes she's now safe.

Once she's steady, she pulls away from him and looks away awkwardly, her nails digging into her palms.

He wants to confront her, tell her what she planned on doing was stupid and she would regret it, but he didn't.

He couldn't.

She didn't need a lecture right now, she needed a friend.

Noticing she's just in a flannel and sweatpants, he quickly takes off his jacket and throws it over her shoulders, "S'freezin kid, should have worn a jacket in this weather...Come on, let's head to Nates. It's not that far." He grabs her hand without a care in the world, grabbing his dropped bags in the other, and leading the way.

The walk to Nates is quiet for the most part, the only sound coming from the plastic bags and their feet crunching against the snow. She was lost deep in thought, her mind buzzing with the events within the past few minutes.

She's pulled out of her thoughts by the boy speaking, "I think I've seen you around school, I say I think 'cause I'm rarely there...What's y'name kid?"

He noticed her around school? She actually stood out for someone to notice her?

"Y/n..." She answers softly. He hums in response and gives her a big smile, "Well, I'm Chris. S'nice to meet you Y/n."

They soon make it to Nate's house and Chris waltzes right in, stomping his feet on the matt to get rid of the snow before kicking the boots off. "Come on, everyone's in the basement." He motions to the basement door, already walking towards it.

Y/n hesitantly follows, this was all new to her.

She's never been invited to parties or asked to hang out.

As Chris opens the basement door, she hears the sound of laughter and shouting.

"You cheated!"

"How the hell do you cheat in Candyland you dumb fuc-I'm back!" Chris's announcement of his arrival causes the group of four to look at the two teens standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"And you brought a stranger?" A boy who looks just like Chris asks, looking Y/n up and down.

She feels her face grow warm as the boy calls her a stranger, he wasn't lying though, she was a stranger. Chris rolls his eyes and drops the bag on the table before slapping the boy upside the head. "Shut the hell up Nick, Y/n's not a stranger... She's a friend."

She feels her heart skip a beat at his words.

Friends...She was a friend.

Chris plops down on the couch, immediately man-spreading and crossing his arms. Meanwhile, Y/n stands by the stairs awkwardly still wrapped in Chris's jacket. Chris notices and pats the spot next to him, urging her to sit down.

She shuffles over, her movements unsure as she sits down next to him.

She expected the group to jump back into what they were doing, to completely disregard her existence - that wasn't the case. They immediately begin to talk to her, asking all types of questions to get to know her better. It was different, it was scary, it was overwhelming, but she found herself relaxing in the warm atmosphere of the basement.

Despite Nick's hesitancy towards her earlier, everyone was so welcoming. They treated her like they had known her for years, like they grew up with her. It was comforting, for once in her life she felt like she belonged, like she was actually alive.

It was refreshing.

"S-so do you guys always hang down here?" She asks as she looks around the basement. It looked like the basement of an early 2-thousands teen movie. Posters of different bands and TV shows were thrown on the wall, the colorful Christmas lights were strung along the ceilings creating a serene atmosphere. There was a huge tv mounted on the wall - gaming systems on the stand below. Two couches, a recliner, and bean bags of different colors were scattered about.

"Yeah, my mom doesn't want us messing up her nice couches and she says we are too loud, so she and my dad let us use the basement as our hangout spot," Nate states as he sets the bong down on the table, Alahna immediately taking it. "A-and they let you guys smoke-" her eyes dart over to the alcohol in Nick's hand, "And drink?"

"Better here rather than out somewhere getting hurt....Are your parents really strict or something?"

The question makes her wonder, were her parents strict? They were never around or paid any attention to her for them to be. She could have been causing all types of trouble and doing god knows what without any type of repercussion, yet she never did

She gives a brief smile, "N-not really... I've just never done any of that stuff...." The group looks at her in shock. How could someone in their grade never dabble in any of these activities? "Well, that is going to change! Take your pick, what drink do you want?"

"Or do you want to smoke?"

The group begins to debate on what the girl should do first, two of them leaning towards drinking while the other two claim an edible would be better. Meanwhile, Chris is doing neither. His eyes land on the girl who looks frightened by the idea of ingesting any type of paraphernalia.

"Hey-" his hand finds its place on her knee, giving comfort. "You know you don't have to do anything if you don't want to right? Don't let them pressure you."

Conflicted feelings swarm in her mind. On one hand she's not completely keen on the idea of being intoxicated, worried about what she will say and or do while not being in the right state of mind. What if they find her weird, or they make her the butt end of a joke? However on the other hand, she wants to fit in, she wants them to like her, and she wants to belong.

"I-is there anything not...Strong?" She asks timidly. Chris nods and grabs an unopened can of Twisted Tea. "It's tea with vodka. Taste kind of funky but I like it." She examines the big can, a look of nervousness still on her face. " We could share if you want? I doubt you will drink the whole thing." He was mainly offering out of concern, he knew the drink wasn't strong, but he didn't want the girl throwing up everywhere because she couldn't handle alcohol.

“T-that sounds nice….” Chris nods and cracks open the can, handing it to her for the first sip. She takes it once again, smelling the liquid before taking a hesitant sip. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. She shivers as she swallows, smacking her lips as the taste settles in her mouth. Chris laughs as she hands the can back to him, taking his own swig of the spiked tea.

“Alcohol virginity has been semi-taken! We’ll save the weed for a birthday or something,” Alahna cheers, the whole group joining in.

The night is a whirlwind of endless activities ranging from Just Dance, board games, Heads up, the girl learning how to play Fortnite, and karaoke.

Y/n was having fun. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t sad, she was happy. Even if it was a temporary happiness, she spent her whole life worrying, it wouldn't hurt her to live and enjoy her life for one night.

The night soon ends and everyone is getting ready to leave, “We can drive you home. S’pretty late and I uhh... I don't want you walking alone..." It was obvious Chris was worried, scared she would find her way to the bridge once more and disappear. He knew he couldn't do much to make whatever she was going through better, but he sure as hell was going to try.

"It's fine, I can wa-'' As she tries to turn down the offer of a ride, not wanting to be a burden, Chris turns to Matt - "You good with driving her home? She doesn't live far."

Matt's eyes drift over to the girl who is smiling awkwardly, shrugging his shoulder and grabbing his keys, "Yeah, let's go. "

After saying their goodbyes to Nate, Alahna, and Nate's family, the four pile into the black van. Y/n climbs into the car, sitting next to Nick in the backseat as Chris and Matt remain upfront. Matt suddenly hands her his phone, Google Maps opened- a clear sign to enter her address. She does so, handing him back the phone quietly. “ You live next door to us?” Matt questions as he puts the car in reverse, the tires crunching against the snow.

"I-I do?" She questions. She had never noticed the three boys - it's obvious they hadn't noticed her either. The car ride to their respective homes is pretty quiet, a song from Chris's playlist playing softly as the two boys upfront hold a whispered conversation. Nick was busy sleeping, all the alcohol finally catching up to him. Y/n looks out the window, her eyes focused on the blurry imagery passing her by.

It wasn't long before Matt pulled into their driveway - everyone piling out of the car and ready to go to bed. "You guys head inside, I'm going to walk her to her house." Chris moves toward Y/n, his hand resting on her back. Matt eyes the gesture and says nothing, grabbing a half-asleep Nick and walking him inside.

"Y-you didn't have to walk me back...."

"I want to...Come on."

The two begin the small walk toward the white house - silence being the conversation between the two.

"Well...This is you," Chris states as they arrive in front of the brown door. he shoves his hands into his pockets, his feet kicking at the snow on the ground. "Y-yeah..." Her hand rests on the doorknob, her eyes looking over Chris as she tries to figure out what to say next.

"Did you have- Thanks for," Soft laughter falls from both of them as they talk over each other, Chris running a hand through his hair as Y/n wraps her arms around herself. "You go ahead, what were you going to say?"

"I-I was going to say thanks...I-I needed this tonight." Chris smiles softly at her, the two coming to a mutual understanding of what she really means.

"S'no problem...Hopefully I- We get to see you more." The thought of this friend group - a group that has been friends forever, wanting to hang out with her again, fills her with excitement. She tries to hold back her giddiness, a Cheshire smile wanting to make its way onto her face. Chris notices it but decides not to say anything, not wanting to embarrass the girl.

"Well, I should head back. I'll see you soon alright?" She nods and watches as Chris walks back to his own home, their eyes meeting briefly before he goes inside. She smiles to herself and rushes inside, nothing but pure joy in her system.

It's not long before she's showered and laid in bed, her eyes trained on the ceiling covered in stars. She was thinking about her night, how it started off so shitty, and ended up being the best night of her life. She was seen, she was laughed with and not at, she felt like she belonged.

She turns on her side, pulling the blankets closer, a smile on her face.

Maybe things are getting better, her wishes being granted.

She could only hope it stays that way.

As she falls asleep, she fails to notice a body climbing out of a window next door, situating itself onto the roof. The person lights a cigarette between their lips, letting the mix of cancer and cold air enter their lungs. They take a big swig from the vodka bottle in their hand, the alcohol burning their throat. They stare off into the empty street, their eyes void of all emotion as they wonder-

What went wrong?

I hope you all like this. i did my best to articulate the words and feelings i have experienced into this. i want all of you to know you are loved, you're seen, and you're not alone! if any of you are struggling mentally i want you to know you're so strong and I'm proud of you for making it this far.

i believe this is a nationwide site that you can use to call and or text when it comes to mental health. if it is wrong, please let me know!

[rottenpumpkin13]

This is even more awesome. Now do a part three of post Nibelheim Sephiroth and miniroth switching places. 🔫.

Tifa: ... I still don't think taking care of child Sephiroth is a good idea.

Aerith: Tifa. *Sniff* HE DREW A PHOTO OF HIS MOM. AND IT'S NOT JENOVA. *Sobbing*

Tifa: ... damn.*Sniffle*

Miniroth: but Professor Hojo said my mother's name is Jenova—

Cloud: Hojo lied.

Vincent: uhm your mother's name is Lucrecia Crescent.

Miniroth: ... Are you my fathe—

(meanwhile)

Rosen: this is so weird. Earlier i told him to kill me and he Was just about to, but now all of a sudden he's a pathetic mentally ill adult.

Glenn:

Rosen:

Matt:

Lucia:

Rosen:W H A T D I D S H I N R A D O.

Glenn: *aggressively shaking Sephiroth*

Sephiroth: ...?!?!?!?!?!?!

(If you feel as if I'm demanding too much you don't have to do it)

Tifa, watching Cloud cradle Miniroth in his arms: Cloud, you're acting like his father.

Cloud: So just because I'm treating this kid with respect and kindness that makes me his father? Ridiculous.

*Miniroth falls asleep in his arms*

Cloud: I'm his father.

Vincent: No you're not.

Cloud: HUH—

Vincent: Because you're too young.

Cloud:

Vincent: What did you think I meant?

Cloud: I don't fucking know anymore.

(Meanwhile)

Glenn: Even though you suddenly grew into an adult with questionable morals, I still believe that you can do great things. Let me help you!

Sephiroth: Nothing that you do will change my mind about my objectives. I suggest you accept me as your ruler—

*Glenn opens his arms for a hug*

Sephiroth, hugging him back: —or die by my hand and suffer the consequences.

[vivisecti]

important confession:

i used to be tumblr user Vivisecti. i deleted my account because in a psychotic episode i said vile and indefensible shit about "recovering" pedophiles- because i genuinely thought at the time that they could be "cured" and that i could cure them.

my mental illness is no exucse for such a sentiment but i hope to explain why for those hours/days that i held that belief.

i have believed for a very long time that i was sent by God to rid the world of pedophiles, planning murders and even mass murders to do so. for a breif time during my grandiose delusion i believed that it was possible to "cure" them through therapy or medication.

it is not. there is no cure. they should be euthanised.

part of my words, which i apologise for and deeply regret, was me thinking that i could "cure" my pedophile father- which was delusional denial- and i projected it onto others in an irresponsible and reckless manner.

i will never and have never defended pedophilia. i want to make that abundantly clear. my issue was that i thought it could be cured. this is an extremely dangerous lie spead by pedophiles that say "Im in recovery/ im cured though" in order to lower your guard.

pedophiles use mental illness as an excuse or explaination for their abuse- but pedophilia is a set of ACTIONS that you CHOSE to do, and not a mental illness (i dont care what the DSM-5 says.)

when i say "mental health isnt an excuse for pedophilia" i am also saying "pedophilia is not a mental health issue, and to say so is to soften the evil of it and try to make it sympathetic."

i am also very sorry for not telling you who i was earlier- i pathetically wanted you all to like me again, and it was an absolute breach of your boundaries to follow and mutual people who previously had me blocked. i dont have the right to ask you to listen to me or read this, and i am disgusted with myself for being so parasocially needy.

i would especially like to apologise to @rottenfleshnbones who was the victim of my vile words. im so fucking sorry for what happened last month. the anons i sent to you were not enough to express that. you dont have to forgive me or even read this but i just hope it comforts you even a little bit to know that i do not hold those beliefs anymore, and never held them in a sane mind to begin with.

i have hurt others and i am so sorry. i wasnt lying when i said that as an adult i want to work with children who are victims of incest. all i have ever wanted (even in my schizophrenic haze) was make there be fewer pedophiles and less child sexual abuse. i went about it in completely the wrong way and was delusional and in denial.

i really really love you guys and want to be friends.

-vivisecti

[mellonieee]

Mellonie does FOP + A New Wish Analysis: 2

Irep as an infant was able to defeat Jorgen, and then as an adult he gets thrown like a football by the guy.

Obviously it could just be the fact that baby fairy magic is incredibly powerful and as he grew up it mellowed out, but it just really goes to highlight the difference between Irep as a child and Irep as an adult.

When he was born in Anti Poof, the first thing Irep does is steal his dad's catchphrase about silence of the lambs as his first words, claim he wants to be the only fairy baby in existence by getting rid of Peri, and to also be despised and feared by all because if Peri is beloved, Irep states that he wants to be dreaded.

Irep, despite being basically 6 minutes old at this point, also sees himself as strictly independent. He gets bored of his mother and her affections, finding her immediately tiring. He doesn't need his parents and he doesn't do well with others.

He and Anti Cosmo immediately clash over this.

Anti Cosmo wants to do things together as a family unit; all three of them, he literally says as such. Irep retaliates by zapping his father and going out to commence his evil plans by himself regardless of what his father wants or thinks. Not taking anything he does season 8 and above into account, this remains the case for almost all of Irep's appearances. When he's doing something, he's doing it alone.

Compare this to Irep in A New Wish. Who actually teams up with someone and who actually has support behind him--that being the antifairies, and also Dev (temporarily.)

Irep, compared to how he was as a baby, definitely craves the validation and reassurance of others, like this guy is so insecure that he gets teary-eyed at the mere mention that he's better than Peri. He still wants to kill him too, but y'know, what's wrong with a little murder, right /j

Irep to me gives off "Well Done, Son!" Guy vibes in the same vein that Dev does. He wants approval. He wants the recognition that his evil plans since infanthood aren't fruitless. He rejected the chance to go along with his parents or to consider the idea of collaboration when he was younger, only to do a 180 as he got older. The difference is that he isn't young anymore, and that the validation he wants now isn't going to express itself as easily as it should've been then.

One thing nobody talks about enough is that Peri seems to purposely distance himself from his parents. He loves them, of course, and they love him back, but he deems them "too clingy." They didn't even know he was going through magical back-up till they found him in the cage. He didn't tell anyone about that.

Peri wants to be separate and independent, so much so that it's to his own detriment. It would only make sense for Irep to go in the opposite direction and actively seek out and include his parents in his schemes.

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

Look. Listen. The reason that Percy doesn't "go dark" like Luke did is because he's young and he hasn't been through what Luke has.

Luke has had everything systematically ripped away from him.

May's rapid descent into madness took away his mother and his childhood even before Luke made the decision to run away from home. Luke spent years by himself, looking after himself, as a child. And when he finally found companions, they were children too, and younger, and Luke had to be the adult for them. Then Thalia was brutally murdered before his eyes. And Annabeth's love for him twisted into romantic and she didn't need him to be her dad anymore. The quest that Luke failed left him marked on his face forever. A reminder that literally no one could forget, least of all Luke. The quest that got quests banned and turned the other camper's pity into anger.

Percy didn't have to take care of himself. He was sent away a lot but to places that took care of him and he was always able to go back home to a loving mother. And all of his quests were successes. He always meets the goal in the allotted time and saves the day. He's got status at Camp Half-Blood, as a repeat hero and a counselor and a son of Poseidon. Of the people who have died, even Percy admits that some of them he didn't even know their names and/or are people he's just met. Not people he's been living with and taking care of while on the run. There are very few that he was close to, few that haunt him.

But see, Percy's getting older. And he's getting angrier. Angry enough to kill a goddess.

So the answer as to why Percy hasn't "gone dark" is time. All he needed was time.

[hiraeth-nostalgic]

SO (sorry i was gone i'm back to YAPPING)

who the FUCK is out here thinking reki had absolutely NO growth through the first season of sk8??? I saw a post talking about how even though he is the main character we "never see any development" regarding him and i just need to tell people who believe that: you are wrong.

Listen, reki is the main character™ so let me recount some things for us all.

first thing that comes to mind: when he is experiencing the jealousy that comes from the insecurity of being left behind, but he still shows up to see Langa race Joe. He still calls out to langa, and we see that even though he was insecure and feeling left behind he STILL came to support someone. he then sees that video talking about the guy who created the track shoes that were being worn and thinks it's stupid. that if he can't be at the top of skating, he shouldn't even skate anymore. he should just give up his dream bc a couple people are better than him. He has the talk with his manager that even if you aren't the MOST talented that doesn't mean you can't be involved and Reki still isn't quite there yet. I believe it was Joe who reminded reki that they are all on different levels and reki gets pulled into the beef with Adam. NOW the beef with Adam we see Reki trying to bridge the gap. He wants it so bad. it's not that he's not a great skater, because he is, but i think it comes from the general lack of self-love/self-confidence that held him back for a couple of things. HOWEVER he avoids Adam's moves, he literally JUMPS off the side and FLIPS (something he had never done before!) reki NEARLY wins and he would've if his board hadn't snapped!!! He embarrassed Adam!! something no one else had done!!!

the second thing: We see Reki become okay with not being the absolute best of the best and how he is a great skater, in his own way. (this starts to show in the race with Adam and then at the end we see it REALLY show) sure it may take him a little longer to learn a trick or something but he still learns it. he still loves skating. he redefines his LOVE of the sport not because he's the best of the best but because he actually has a support system in skating instead of before when he had no friends who shared the interest (you know, aside from a previous friend who could no longer skate) and its the story of even if you aren't as great as someone else you know, its still okay to do things for FUN and hanging out.

like this idea haunts all of us. for example: singing? most people are fine singers!!! but because they don't sing like Beyonce or Billie Eilish, suddenly they shouldn't sing for fun bc "they can't make a job out of it" like, the same for reki. Joe, Cherry, and Shadow are all adults who have lives outside of skating but for a CHILD it's the only thing for them at this point in their life, they are still trying to figure out who they are. its crucial to teens. Reki's not getting on a national team, he can't build a career out of actually skating so does that mean he shouldn't enjoy it? no!!! he works at the skate shop, he's really talented at building the boards, designing them, and understanding what will help individual people the best!! that's more than anyone else in the S community that we see actively skating.

Anyway, reki has so much growth in not only his skating but in his mental health but because it's not as flashy as Langa's or Adam's, people overlook it and downplay it.

[happycattail]

As children grow up and become adults, you start to realize that Your Parents are not infallible, are not flawless, are not all powerful and knowing. You realize that Your Parents don't have that much power over you anymore and you shed those glasses and they are no longer just Your Parents, they are your parents sure but they are also just themself. Perhaps I'm reaching, but I think that's what Exandria needs to or will realize once Downfall is over and we see what the ending of Aeor will be. The Gods may have created them ages ago but Exandrians have developed and grown up (yes I know this is also some of what Ludinus have said) and while they don't need the Gods anymore just like most people don't really need their parents once they are grown up, they can still acknowledge that having the Gods there may still be helful and good. They just don't really need to be worshipped anymore. They don't need to have that power over Exandrians anymore.

[violent138]

Getting an adorable, brightly coloured sunshine child to run around with him was probably the best (and worst) PR move Batman ever made.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU - Breakfast

Okay! So. I know this isn't the one you guys were probably expecting.

BUT I HAD AN IDEA! :D

and because this whole drabble serie is loosely hanging together with just my pure power of will I am adding it! :D

First Drabble here (with special thanks to @spotaus for the original prompt which sparked this all) Prev drabble here Next Drabble

As always we have no beta and zero editing, just me and my fast typing and dyslectic ass trying her best.

Also... Enjoy Crop's thoughts :D

*----------------*

Crop hangs up the phone as he sighs next to the chicken coop. The chickens are still mostly asleep as the sun hasn't risen but with his new guests Crop figured it was best to get his chores out of the way early.

And collect a few fresh eggs.

He slowly moves through the coop to carefully grab the eggs from his very sweet chickens. They always work with him and he is very lucky with all these ladies.

As he goes over his mental list as he collects the eggs. He made sure to call his brother to both warn him and to ask him to get extra supplies. He is going to call the local doctor after breakfast.

Either way, his brother knows they have quests and the most basic of explanations. He is bringing more food and general things for them to use and will tell people in town today as he does their shopping.

Crop just... needs to make sure they are comfortable.

Crop chuckles as he holds the basket with eggs in one arm as he pulls out his phone and finds the picture he took this morning.

So he may have sneaked a look at his guests before he went to do his work. He just wanted to be sure they were comfortable and not bothered by anything. He remembered how souldeep tired all of them had looked and how tense most of them had been. He just wanted to be sure that they were actually comfortable resting.

What he foudn as one pile of skeletons all locked together and sound asleep. Little Nightmare in the middle being held close and protectively by Killer. Dust pretty much plastered to the two of them on Nightmare's other side. Cross had layed on Killer's side, squeezed right between Killer and the wall. Horror had been laying by Dust's side. All of them completely out as the open window let in the fresh summer air.

Crop had silently snapped a picture before leaving again. Oh! That is what he should do! He quickly texts Papyrus to also buy a picture frame and to print the picture for it. After which Crop send the picture and Papyrus replied with a message that he will get it done.

Crop figures they will want to make the attic a bit more theirs.

Crop knows they won't stay forever. He knew that when Horror first visited and he knew that when he and Dust visited together. It is just... the farm gets lonely and it is nice to have friendly faces around!

He walks down the dirt path back towards his farmhouse. It looks peaceful and Crop prays this really is what they needed. Even if it is just for a little while. He makes sure to try and be quiet as he enters the house again but the door still creeks.

Crop waits for a moment but hears nothing from upstairs and closes the door again. He goes to the kitchen and thinks it over as he prepares coffee for himself. As it brews he looks around the kitchen.

What to make. What to make.

Maybe omelettes? those are usually a good go. Eggs themselves are an amazing source of protein and together with some fresh vegatables...

Crop nods and starts taking out the right ingredients. He takes out a few extra eggs as he has quite a few mouths to feed today and he gets to work on cutting up vegatables. Crop is just considering turning on the radio just to get the silence to be less pressing when he sees a shadow out of the corner of his socket.

He turns and freezes. Because that is a very tiny six year old staring at him. Crop manages to keep in the coo as he takes in the sight of Nightmare in an oversized t-shirt.

Crop smiles "Sorry if i woke you."

Nightmare tilts his skull a tiny bit before answering, his voice is soft spoken but it is clear as a bell, "You didn't wake me." his mouth and teeth pitch a little bit up "I am what Killer calls 'one of those cursed morning people'. Usually I get up with Cross and Horror but both were tired."

Crop nods as he turns back to continue his chopping "I see. Well. YOu will be happy to note I am also a monring person." he finishes chopping up a few onions before moving over to the peppers "I am sitll working on breakfast. Do you have any preferences for your breakfast."

A light hum that sounds a bit closer before he answers "Not really. Is it okay if I sit here?"

Crop wants to just lay his face on his counter because he is so wellmannered it is so cute! Crop remains strong however and shoots him a grin, silently noting that Ngihtmare had somehow moved himself into a chair without making a single sound.

Crop nods "of course. Happy to have you keep me company." he takes a sip of his coffee before turning back to Nightmare with a frown "Do you want anything to drink? I have some orange juice."

Nightmare tilts his skull and nods "orange juice is fine..." he does eye the coffee wishfully.

Crop looks at his own mug before grinning "Are you allowed coffee or will that get your four friends all mad at me?"

Ngihtmare blinks before looking a bit happier "It should be fine. It never harmed me before."

Crop nods and grabs another mug, one with little goats on it, and fills it with some coffee. He turns to Nightmare "How do you take it?"

Ngihtmare smiles a bit more sheepish "Lots of milk and sugar..."

Crop chuckles and nods as he prepares it "Much like my brother than. Says if he doesn't add those things it just tastes like regret." he finishes the mug and puts it by Nightmare's arm. Nightmare watches him for a moment longer before taking it and taking a sip.

Crop grins and goes back to preparing the omelettes and just knowing that someone is nearby makes the silence much more bareable.

"Don't I bother you?"

Crop pauses for a moment before snorting "If you being in the kitchen with me while i cooked bothered me i would have requested you go to the living room. It is fine Ngihtmare."

a small sigh before he speaks again "No. I mean me in general."

Crop blinks and looks over "Why would it?"

Nightmare frowns at him before shrugging as he looks back to his coffee.

The silence returns but Nightmare doesn't ask anymore questions. aparently the ltitle thing that Crop said was enough. Crop hopes that he didn't leave a bad first impression.

Crop starts with cooking the first egg and vegetable mixture.

He watches it before he can't help it anymore "Nightmare... I was wondering something... and it is fine to not answer..."

Nightmare hums and waits.

Crop frowns but speaks "Doesn't it bother you to be here?"

Nightmare is silent for a bit longer before humming questioningly.

Crop keeps looking at the eggs "It is just... you don't know me... or any of this place... doesn't it bother you to be here?"

Nightmare is silent for a while before answering "I don't have to be worried. I am not alone."

Crop stops and turns to Nightmare "Huh?"

Ngihtmare looks at him and continues to speak "They won't let anything happen to me. I don't have to worry." he speaks with such a certainty.

and Crop can't help but be curious "really?" he leans on the table "I don't mean this in anyway negatively or to make you doubt yourself... it is just... they left right? Horror said as much, and immediantly said he regretted it!" it feels important to reinforce that! "and well... he showed me... the book of dreamtale...."

Nightmare doesn't blink at the comment of being left alone but he does look bothered with the dreamtale comment. he looks at the coffee with a frown "oh...."

Crop frowns "It is just... how... how are you still able to trust people after that?" he chuckles and rubs his neck "I know that i would have a hard time being willling to trust others if all those things happened to me..."

Horror frowns as he looks at his mug before shrugging.

Crop nods and chuckles "right... sorry... that is a very personal and loaded questions..." he quickly turns back to the safe area which is preparing breakfast.

The silence continues before Nightmare speaks just barely above a whisper "they came back..." more silence before even softer "no one ever did that... that is how i knew they were different...."

Crop feels his soul just break at that... how terrified this poor babybones would ahve been. had still been.

crop froces his voice to speak. He needs to make sure that the young child knows he was heard and understood "I see. that would make them much more trustworthy."

a soft hum of acknowledgement.

Crop can't help but wonder why Nightmare would tell him. Is it just that... Ngihtmare now as a six year old just doesn't have the same mental view on things? That he doesn't see the same boundries for topics as he saw before? Or... is it because there is someone acutlaly listening to him? Crop doesn't know and he doesn't dare to ask. He doesn't want to question his motives and make him question them.

Crop nods and thinks for a moment before speaking again "So... other subject... do you still have to do the whole god of negativity job still? Because that just seems rude and illegal... Do gods have a rule against child labor?" Crop desperately tries to find another subject and figures this would work.

A light giggle and Crop can't help but stare because nightmare giggling to hismelf is adorable. Ngihtmare shakes his skull lightly "No... I don't think I sitll got that job..." he looks thoughtful "Maybe this is part of being fired? I am not sure..." he then shoots him a look, a small eye brow raised and he looks very sassy and smug "Also, I am not a god of negativity, or well I never was."

Crop blinks and tilts his skull "you weren't?"

Ngihtmare shakes his skull "I was a god of balance. I just decided to also be the guardian of negativity. It fit with the powers i had gained and it was needed."

Crop finishes another omelette as he asks "Why negativity? If you had the choice why not pick positivity?"

Nightmare blinks at him with wide sockets before he speaks "Because positivity doesn't need a guardian but negativity does." he rolls his sockets nad mutters softly "don't get why dream did what he did...."

Crop frowns "What do you mean? Why does negativity need a guardian but positivity not?"

Ngihtmare tilts hsi skull and looks amused "Because everyone wants to be happy. Everyone chases the positive things in life... wlel not everyone but most people." he traces the mug "negativity gets pushed aside for positivity... but negativity is needed... i mean... you can't exactly just be happy about the death of someone you care about. you need negativity, that is how you can grieve and move forwards. Anger is needed when you are hurt or see injustice..." he looks down "people will try to chase positivity. but if you just feel positivity.... well... you can't appreciate the good without being aware of the bad."

Crop blinks and speaks "You can't have light without shadows... you cna't have day without night..."

Ngihtmare looks up and nods "So i decided to guard the negativity, helps a lot with mental health and progressing trauma." and he shrugs before snorting "not that it matters anymore. I am not that anymore."

Crop chuckles "how are you so sure about that?" Ngihtmare shrugs again and crop figures that is a question he won't answer for him.

Crop tilts his skull "Was there a favourite feeling for you? Like as god of emotions and stuff? Something you enjoyed to feel form others?" it sounded weird to ask but Nightmare acutally looks thoughtful.

Nightmare nods to himself "I think amazement... it is just... nice... i like how those work and felt for others."

Crop nods and thinks for a moment "I think my favorite is contentment." is that an emotions? Maybe.

Nightmare tilts hsi skull but ends up nodding "Because it is a bit more humble but still what you need?"

Crop blinks but nods "kinda."

Nightmar elooks smug to have figured it out before turning back to his mug "eggs are burning."

Crop blinks before cursing and turning back to safe the food. He manges to do it and pants as it lays a bit darker than it should be on the plate.

Crop freezes and looks over his shoulder "don't tlel them i cursed in front of you please."

Nightmare hums "I won't. Not that it matters as they do it too sometimes. would make them hypocrits."

Crop laughs as he nods-

A smash from upstairs and a panicked voice calls out for nightmare. Nightmare looks unsurprised as he continues to drink his coffee.

Crop raises his voice slightly "he is in the kitchen! We are making breakfast."

Silence before rushed steps and crop laughs as he turns back to the stoof.

It is amazing to have more people in the house again.

*---------------*

First Drabble here Prev drabble here Next Drabble

hihihihihi i like crop. he is so curious and down to earth :3 He is just a sweet guy! :D

[rexcaliburechoes]

does anyone else find it fucked up that moon's friends protect themselves from her with the skyfire at the end of moon rising?

[rosesandthorns44]

My toxic trait is only doing things that are *bad* for me when no one else is looking.

Like, if no one sees it, it didn't count, and I'm perfectly fine. No problems to be seen here, folks.

Mental illness? We don't know her.

[epicfirestormer]

Me: I'm fine

Also me: Six getting his memory erased in "Six Minus Six" and Rex trying to make him remember is meant to parallel just how terrifying it must've been for Six and Holiday when Rex would sometime lose his memories before canon started. We know from what Tuck told Rex that he had lost his memories so many times, he would keep a notebook on him to make sure he would remember. How many times had this happen, for it to be a habit. How many memories did Rex lose when he was in Providence. How much of his own life does Rex actually remember during those years. Did Rex and Six bonded and got close before Rex inevitably blacks out and forgets everything again. How absolutely horrifying is it for Rex, a child in everything but title, to wake up with no idea who he is at a goddamn government facility and treated nothing more than a weapon. How heartbreaking had it been for Holiday, a mother figure who treats Rex like a child- how he should be treated- to see him not recall anything about her. How absolutely soul-crushing had it be for Six, who had taught this kid to survive and how to stay strong, to see that same kid act in fear. Did Providence did something similar to what Rex did, keeping a log of everything about him so he could know right away. How awful is that. How absolutely batshit, fucking insanely immoral it is that a child have to go through. To lose memories and be conditioned about waking up a military base. But in the eyes of Providence, he isn't a child. He's a weapon, an asset at best, and a monster at worst.

[micechicken]

I love how my unintentional excuse as to why Alestair and Idan never have to go to work is because they ran away and basically quit without notice.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

matilda the musical making me feel shrimp emotions

[hussyknee]

TW: 200th rant about the stupid "HP fans are all complicit in antisemitism and transphobia" discourse, brought to you by my OCD-induced suicidality.

I've by now become so wary of trans people and enbies on social media, especially Jewish ones. I'm like "this person is GOING to be on their Harry Potter bullshit and trigger the hell out of my OCD" and my hackles go up automatically. Then my OCD goes "haha you hate them because they're Jewish and/or trans, you're an antisemitic transphobe so they're clearly right about people who defend HP! SUFFER bitch!" Cue hell loop until my brain is flayed over anything nobody actually even said or did.

I don't even LIKE HP that much anymore, why is wanting to stop having PTSD episodes about stupid shit the thing that also dropkicks me down seven circles of hell??? It's made all the so-called "leftist" enclaves of the internet a minefield. Why are people with OCD everyone's favourite collateral when it comes to stuff shitty rich assholes do? Is it so fucking hard to stop making up thought crimes to attack people over??

It's an extra layer of horrible when the same people have no problems applying "no ethical consumption under capitalism" to stuff like Coca Cola and Nestlé products. Y'all can't possibly live without child slavery chocolate or making brown people drink Nestlé's toxic filth or anything that's subjecting Indigenous communities and people in entire Global South continents to long, lingering, horrible deaths, but this one franchise whose author royalties are funding the UK transphobic lobby is the one line that matters. Fuck all the trans people in those places I guess. Every single Global North consumer moral policing is western leftists's dehumanization of our people writ large. Fuck all of you.

[anothermonikan]

August is both flying by and taking too fucking long somehow