#because it’s cute and fun in fantasy but no one’s entire living breathing purpose is someone else’s pleasure 100% of the time

[starryeyesmasc]

i am once again thinking about a girl using me for her own pleasure like it’s all I’m made for.

…grinding against my mouth after pushing me to my knees the second she walks in the door, tying my hands to the headboard and ignoring my whimpers as she rides my strap, picking a nice pair of boxers and a cute tshirt for me to wear so she has something pretty to look at while she fucks herself in front of me, asking to see my hands just to guide them up her shirt…

the list goes on 😩

[parasprite]

blue says "dragon princess" instead of referring to daenerys by name. this is such an interesting choice to me because it 1. doesn't flow better at all, and 2. seems to imply blue was so focused on jon snow he never bothered to learn the name of the show's female lead. in reality i'm certain that it was a purposeful writing choice to make blue seem ignorant about GoT so he doesn't come across as too nerdy. because nerdy guys are not treated kindly at all by this film. they're the butt of this particular joke ⬆️ and the two "nerd" characters with any speaking lines (martin and ethan) are antagonised and underdeveloped by the narrative, respectively.

there are three different guys that simon suspects might be blue throughout the film: bram, lyle, and cal. he thinks it's bram because bram likes oreos. he thinks it's lyle for no reason at all. he thinks it's cal because cal uses the phrase "middle of nowhere". but he never even considers that blue could be one of these nerdy kids, because the nerdy kids don't live up to his personal standards of attractiveness. this scene takes place very early on in the film, like 2 or 3 emails in - the fact that simon doesn't want to believe blue could be unattractive to him shows that he has romantic aspirations towards blue before they even get to know each other. consistent with the way their first email is filmed and scored like it's a meet cute.

fascinating to me that simon's big gay awakening is Harry Potter of all people, and yet he's textually repulsed by any guy who wears glasses. these three guys and ethan (pictured above on the right) are the only characters in the film who wear glasses, and simon instantly writes all of them off as ugly or not worth his time. very weird to me because simon wears glasses in the book. in the film the only time he wears glasses is in flashbacks of his embarrassing middle school memories.

just something that makes me sad but all of these nerdy guys give a friendly nod or wave at simon as he passes. they all think he's cool but he's just judging them. and any of these cute guys could be gay. suraj even has a shirt that says "sorry ladies". but he's so repulsed by these guys he doesn't even consider it. i hate simon so much

who is this joke catering to? we all know nerd culture is very closely tied to queer culture. queer nerds were for sure the ones buying and enjoying the book when it came out. with the references to game of thrones and harry potter, the film pays lip service to nerd culture in the same breath as it makes fun of schlubby guys who wear graphic tees. in this film any guy who doesn't fit the mould of thin masculine straight-passing beauty standards is portrayed as instantly unworthy of being a romantic interest.

what does all this tell us about simon as a character?

simon is driven by fear and shame and a need to control other peoples' perception of him. we see it in the lengths he goes to stay closeted, his staunch unwillingness to embrace queer culture, the way he wears hoodies and plain, dark clothing in 99% of his scenes, and the way he constantly mocks and gossips about anyone who doesn't Conform - both behind their backs and directly to their faces. he self-polices his own fantasies to make sure they're not "too gay". i want to cite some example scenes but it's literally the entire film. and this scene is pretty emblematic of that entire problem.

i have more to say on this (i could infodump about this shitass film for literal days i fear) but i'm gonna leave some of it for the 10 hour video essay i hope to make one day

i'm trying to make a compilation of all the fucked up moments in love simon, but i keep having to stop because i get overwhelmed by how fucked up this film is

[pa-panda-heroes]

The LoV with a s/o who's easuly Flustered and likes to read books when they're on break from missions? 👉🏻👈🏻 Love your blog! 💞 Have some ice cream for your great writing! 🍧🍨🍦

Aaaa thank you! You are so sweet I’m going to get a cavity 😭 thank you so much, cutie!! I hope you like it

~🐼

LoV with a s/o who’s easily flustered!

Tomura:

At first he would find it strange. Why do you get tinted kinda reddish and quiet when he tries to make eye contact with you? He has to give you details on the mission, dammit!

And why would you read, when you could do something more engaging like playing video games? He doesn’t get it.

But the more he sees you read and the more he sees how you react to certain things, the more he kinda soaks it in. Welp, that’s just how you are. Okay, then.

But why does he like watching you? Why does he enjoy the sight of your lips pursing in concentration or eyebrows furrowing at something he doesn’t know abou while you’ve got a book in your hands? Is he curious?

No, he finds it absolutely adorable. When he realizes that, he’ll do whatever he can to fluster you, so that he can see your eyes dart everywhere but at him and watch you shrink into yourself. Maybe he enjoys watching you toy with a stand of hair, or whatever clothing you’re wearing that minute.

At some point you have to ask yourself if he’s a sadist for it all, because we will tease you if he’s in a good mood, but in reality he just enjoys a reaction from someone that isn’t disgust. You’re so soft as a person and it’s a huge contrast to himself and he fucking loves it.

His favorite thing ever is to rest his cheek on your sternum with an arm under the back of your neck, playing a video game with both hands at your left shoulder. All while you’ve got a book propped atop his back with your arms underneath his own, both your legs and his a mess tangled together. It’s uncomfortable for your both, but it allows you to be so close.

Other times, he’ll often watch over your shoulder and read snippets of your book out of curiosity to see what you like, if he gets the chance. Maybe, just maybe, you can convince him to read the same novel, but what he really wants is for you to read aloud to him.

He wants to hear your voice without interruptions, to hear how the intricate words fall from your lips as you read, even to hear your goofy dialogue impressions. It’s so relaxing and he adores it. He’ll even crack a little smile while you’re doing it.

Your reading to him eventually becomes nearly the only thing that can put him to sleep. His head on your chest, arm wrapped around your waist, and legs kicked out to entangle with yours as he listens to your voice - he’s in heaven!

He’s so happy that someone as adorable and soft as you actually had eyes for someone like him, and he’s more than thankful for it!

Mr. Compress:

Loves it! He finds it so precious that you get so flustered so easily. And while he’d never make you uncomfortable or even try to fluster you on purpose, he’s still going to enjoy it when it happens.

I can definitely see Mr. being a bookworm himself, honestly, his favorite maybe being of a historical or possibly magical nature.

You like horror? Okay. Romance? Cool. Medieval fantasy? Alright. It really doesn’t matter what you enjoy, he’ll ask for recommendations. If you enjoy it, he will certainly enjoy it with you.

Deadass would sit next you and pull out his own book during a break while you’re on a mission. You have to wonder where the hell it came from, but then you remember he’s a magician, after all. And of course, there’s his actual quirk to consider.

Mr would get flustered relatively easily, but for him the perfect time to be flustered is while you’re flustered, too! Strangely enough, he thinks it sorta brings you closer together, kinda like sharing a crépe or ice cream. It’s no different than being happy at the same time, or sad, or even angry. You’re feeling the same thing at the same time, and get to experience and work through it together. How neat is that?

He doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable around him, but he’ll still enjoy it when you get all flustered. He notices all too easily the blood rush to your ears when he reaches in close to pull a coin “out” of your ear, or the slight squeak you make when his gloved fingers accidentally brush against the cartilage of it. Well, sometimes accidentally!

Seeing you get flustered like that will usually fluster him, too. Does he really have such an endearing effect on someone so adorable and shy, as the extroverted and boisterous Mr. Compress?

He’ll constantly ask permission to do something before actually doing it and risking making you uncomfortable. Is he allowed to wrap an arm around you? Are you okay with him touching more than just your ear for a trick? Mr. is determined to get consent first and to make sure if you change your mind, he knows it!

Loves it if you let him read to you. He’s an entertainer, remember? It’s in his gears to put on a show and entertain someone - he doesn’t want to be entertained! His favourite way to read to you is with his back leaning against the wall or headboard if there is one, while you’ve rested the back of your head on his shoulder and sat between his legs.

Himiko:

Himiko is not easily flustered! And while she likes books, they’re not her favorite pastime.

That said, she loves getting you all flustered. She won’t be cruel about it, it’s always in good fun and not regarding anything you could be sensitive about, but it happens really often.

The more flustered she gets you, the more flustered she looks as the blood rushes to her cheeks and ears because she’s so happy and you’re so cute!! She’ll grin at you spunkily when she does, but her eyes have a slightly sultry tint to them.

Her favorite way to get you all flustered is by touching you! She’s quite clingy physically, so naturally she’s gonna be all over you! She’ll latch onto and nuzzle your neck like it’s the sole reason she’s breathing - accidentally restricting your own breathing all the while.

She’s not much of a reader herself, but she’s going to ask all kinds of questions about the book she happens to see you reading. What genre is it? What’s the main character like? Does a character die? Is it a happy novel, or a sad one?

If you enjoy it, she’ll want to learn about it just for the sake of hearing you teach her about something you enjoy or are passionate about, despite not indulging in it herself. She wants to know what makes you tick, and sifting through your likes will help her do that.

Himiko will sit next to you and snuggle up against your side while you’re reading on your break - even if you shyly protest. If time permits, she’ll relax and let let the sound of your breathing accompanied with the turning of pages slowly lull her to sleep.

Though if she doesn’t have time, she’ll instead stare at your face, whether it contorts or not at whatever you’re reading. If you notice and blush at her, she won’t stop! She’ll just continue to stare at you.

If you ask to read to her, she’ll accept, sure, but she won’t really pay attention. Her focus is you! Not a story! You’re part of her own story, now, she doesn’t care about anything fictional. She has you.

She’ll instead watch your eyebrows turn up or furrow as your eyes are drifting through the page, lips moving and articulating syllables of your language. She’ll watch every blink of your eyes, enamored by the sparkle in them with one of her own. She’ll always have her head in your lap or on your chest!

Twice:

Not as easily flustered as Mr. Compress, but if someone pushes enough, they can do it!

He’s not big on books, like Toga, but reslly loves having a s/o who is.

Oh, you can read about an imaginary world where society isn’t defined by heroes vs. villains, and quirks don’t exist and someone’s entire life isn’t dictated by what kind of shitshow they won in the quirk genetics lottery? Sounds neat! Tell him about it!

The more different the world of the book you’re indulging in is, the more he’s interested in hearing about it from you! He’ll take in everything you tell him about whatever you’re reading. Most of the time, it gives him a good grasp on what kind of society he really wants.

Of course, his favorite part about your telling him about your books is how excited you get, how enthralled you are in its mysteries if it has any, how you seem to pick it apart and predict (or try to predict) what will happen next!

Of course, if you go on a tangent and realize you’ve done so, becoming flustered as a result, he’ll beam at you to keep going! Or, he’ll go on his own tangent worshipping the ground you walk on, which, naturally, makes you more flustered - and that encourages him.

You’re like the diamond in the rough - so sweet and fragile-seeming - that he can’t help but be drawn to you!

Any sign of embarrassment (the not-so-fun kind) or shift in your mood will get him all riled up and cause him to do whatever he can to fix the situation, if possible. Oftentimes, he makes it worse, but he tries his hardest, really!

Because he wants to watch out for you! You’re so adorable, and even if you’re fully capable of taking care of yourself physically, he’ll 100% be right next to you to step in!

I can’t really see Twice sitting down and letting you read to him or reading on his own (too quiet - a good opportunity for his trauma to strike), but he’ll still love hearing about what you’re reading. Maybe he’ll sit next to you with a cigarette in between his fingers, eyes drifting to the pages as he listens to your voice reading aloud and whatever environmental voices are sounding at the moment.

Dabi:

The bastardest bastard of them all!

A flustered Dabi is a nonexistent Dabi. Nope. It doesn’t matter what you say to him, the man’s made of unflusterable, unflinching steel.

He will do everything in his power to tease you and fluster the living daylights out of you, though. It’ll range from snarky or sultry comments to actually touching - or groping - you in various places. He’ll relish in any cute protest you send his way.

His favorite time to strike is when you’re in casual conversation with any of the other members and your guard is down. You’re smiling and content, not shying out, and having a good time.

Welp, not if Dabi can have a say in it! He’ll give your ass a slap or make a snarky comment insinuating your “neglecting” him and wrap his arms around your waist, nuzzling his nose into your neck and letting his particularly hot breath ghost across your neck. He’ll simper at the bumps that arise on your skin as he feels your muscles tense underneath him.

He’ll do whatever he can to interrupt your reading, not really giving a shit if you’re really enjoying your book or lose your page. His interruptions range from whispering in your ear to yanking the book from your hands and keeping it away from your grasp.

Dabi won’t care to hear about what you’re reading; he’ll usually zone out if you try to immerse him into your favourite pastime or read to him. And he definitely won’t read for you, either.

But nonetheless, he’ll find your habit cute. It’s not watching you that does it for him, or even how giddy you get talking about your stories. It’s the fact that someone dating a dastardly villain like himself, a criminal capable of setting fire to everything around him, so purely enjoys such a common hobby. He’s not common, he knows that. You’re special, he knows that very well. But reading a book? So many people do that. It’s what normal people do.

He loves to watch you cover your cheeks at his suggestive comments, or hop around him to pry your book from his hand. Maybe he’ll set it alight in blue flames to get a good, loud squeal of desperation out of you.

But hell hath no fury like a Dabi whose s/o was teased or flustered by anyone but him.

If you’re reading at home, away from the others, you can bet he’ll drop his head in your lap. It’s nothing sweet and loving, he needs a pillow to nap on! But if you try to get him to move, he’ll grumble and turn on his side, staying put.

Spinner:

Hands down the easiest of them all to get flustered. So yeah, he understands your pain!

Spinner won’t really go out of his way to make you all flustered and set you off, because he knows sometimes that can be embarrassing and not fun if someone goes too far, but that doesn’t mean he dislikes seeing you flustered!

Seeing you blink rapidly and sputter out syllables meant to be a string of words you haven’t found yet is absolutely adorable to him. You’re such a contrast to everyone else, so innocent and pure. After all, there’s a girl who drinks blood for her quirk and a habitual arsonist who’s nothing but sarcasm and insults. Needless to say, Spinner is glad to have you around!

When someone decides they want to make your life hell, he’ll usually step between you and the other party with a scowl and hands on his hips, as if to protect you. Well, yeah. Of course he’s gonna look out for you! Aside from keeping you safe, he wants to look tough for you and impress you.

Like Tomura, he’s more of a video game guy, but if you’re into any kind of fantasy or any genre gaming-esque, he’ll absolutely want to hear about it! If it’s anything romantic, it’ll just fluster him. Although, if it’s horror, he’d definitely be interested

While you’re reading on break, he’ll sit next to you with a portable gaming system and click away at the buttons, occasionally glancing over at you. He can be curious without being interested... right? He might even try to get a peek at what you’re reading for himself, but Spinner won’t admit it. He’ll blow air from his nose and turn away with a scrunched face if you notice!

Spinner would get way too flustered and embarassed to read to you, but would absolutely let you read to him if you so felt like it. He might space out thinking of various things, though.

100% wants to have you in his arms while your eyes are plastered to your book. Bonus points if he gets to play video games like that, Spinner holding the controller behind your book, your back flush against his chest.

You probably couldn’t get him to read anything you suggest to him outright. You’d have to bribe him. He’ll read your book if you play his video game! If you enjoy video games, it will eventually become a habit for you both to cycle between playing video games and reading books.

And he’s not complaining! Most of his time will still be spent on video games, though. But sharing interests is how you get closer, right?

[ayatosmlktea]

Fluffcember Day 10 | Bokuto

Pairing: Bokuto x reader Prompt: Snowball fights Words: 1345 Tags: @hoekaashi I hope this pleases you queen @bakugoustanaccount

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You woke up to the smell of coffee and pancakes, opening your eyes slowly you wrack your brain trying to remember where you were. Wooden panel walls with high ceilings surround you, you’re in a large bed buried under thick blankets and you’re not alone.

 Turning your head to the side you find Yukie sound asleep and snoring softly next to you. Finally remembering that your group of friends from high school had decided to rent a chalet for a couple of days during your winter break. Smiling to yourself your heart is filled with happiness and excitement for the next few days to come. Your group had all gone to different schools but you were just as close as you had been years ago.

While many things had changed the more you matured the one thing you had never grown out of was your crush on Bokuto. His extroverted goofy natured personality  had immediately won your affection and it didn’t help that you were now going to be living in the same house as him for an entire week.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you crawl out of bed, slipping on your fuzzy pair of penguin slippers making your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth and tame your bedhead.

Heading downstairs you find the majority of the group hanging out in the kitchen, Akaashi is busy flipping pancakes while Konoha sets the table. But the thing that makes your tongue feel like lead in your mouth and has your breath catching in your throat is Bokuto. Shirtless, grey sweats hanging low on his hips with his hair down, every curve and dip of his muscles perfectly illuminated by the early morning sun. His back is facing you thankfully, because you’re certain that your face is beet red.

“Wow look who finally decided to grace us with her presence!”Kuroo smirks, ending his conversation with Bokuto who turns to look at what Kuroo was staring at.

If looks could kill your eyes and icy smile would’ve flayed him alive.

Kuroo had picked up on the way you reacted around Bokuto, how you laughed at his jokes no matter how stupid they were, how easily flustered you became whenever he complimented you and how your eyes always lingered on him when you thought no one was looking.

 You’d made him swear never to tell anyone else but that hadn’t stopped Kuroo from dropping hints about your feelings whenever Bokuto was around assuring you on multiple occasions that Bokuto felt the same way you did but you refused to believe him.  

“Cute slippers y/n!” Bokuto exclaimed, you felt your face heating up and wishing you could’ve melted into the floor.

“Thanks” you mumbled, making your way over to Akaashi and asking if he needed any help hoping that Kuroo wouldn’t embarrass you any further.

After breakfast you all agreed to go skiing, you weren’t the best at skiing and it made you nervous but you were still excited nonetheless.

“Here let me hold those for you” Bokuto grabbed your skis from your hands and carried them along with his own like it was nothing. It was a meaningless gesture, something he would do for anyone else, so why was your heart pounding. From your peripheral vision you can see Kuroo wink at you so you flash him your middle finger.

You and Bokuto had somehow ended up walking together at the back of the group, you were internally freaking out and sweating nervously while Bokuto rambled on and on about things you were barely listening to, too focused on trying not to trip and look studip in front of him.

“Are you okay y/n? You look nervous” Your eyes glance up at his face, and realize that making direct eye contact was a big mistake. His amber eyes studying you intensely with concern make you swoon.

“Uh kinda, I’m not that great at skiing so I don’t wanna fall on my ass all day you know” your laugh is higher pitched and more airy than usual and if he notices he doesn’t comment on it.

“I can help you practice for a bit if you want! I won’t let you fall” he laughs, winking at you and you’re almost positive you’re going to combust.

With Bokuto’s help you manage to tackle the beginner slopes with ease and move onto the intermediate one within an hour. The more time you spend with him the easier the conversation flows and the more you start to loosen up around him. 

Your chemistry is undeniable, he makes you laugh and your compliments never fail to make him blush. You meet up with Yukie and Kaori thanking Bokuto for taking the time to help you out, promising to meet up for lunch after. 

Purposely ignoring the inquiring stares coming from your two best friends you can’t help but grin to yourself at how it almost felt like you were on a date.

You two don’t meet up until much later and by that time your feet are aching and your stomach is growling for food. Your legs and face are almost numb from the cold and all you want to do is change and curl up by the fireplace with a nice cup of tea.

 Behind you you can faintly hear the guys joking and messing around with each other, when something hard and wet hits the back of your neck. Gasping loudly when snow falls inside your jacket you whip around to see who hit you.

Kuroo is holding his stomach from how hard he’s laughing while Bokuto looks mortified.

“Y/n I’m so sorry I was aiming for Kuroo!”

 Bending down, you pick up a handful of snow, molding it into a ball and throw it back at Bokuto’s face. You can’t help but laugh at how shocked he looks, obviously not expecting that from you but it doesn’t last long before he’s throwing another one at you. A full blown snowball fight breaks out, leaving you breathless with sore cheeks from laughing.

 You’re dripping with wet snow but you don’t care, especially not when Bokuto removes his glove to wipe a clump of snow stuck to your face.

Later that night you find yourself sitting alone on the couch watching the snowfall outside after everyone had gone to bed. Your cup of mint tea cradled in between your hands keeping you warm. The seat next to you dips as Bokuto sits down next to you wordlessly. You don’t want to take your eyes off the window, scared that if you look at him reality will come crashing in and ruin the fantasy you’ve been enjoying in your head the entire afternoon.

“Y/n, there’s something I really want to talk to you about” His voice is low and you don’t remember a time when he’s ever sounded so serious. You feel dread start to build up in your stomach expecting the worst, that he’s going to tell you that he doesn’t want to lead you on because he doesn’t have feelings for you.

“Look, I had a lot of fun today and it made me realize a lot of things. I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on but-” you’re sure you’re not breathing anymore, mentally trying to prepare yourself for rejection.

 “I’ve liked you for a long time and I was wondering if you’d want to go out with me” Feeling like the air has been kicked from your lungs you stare at him in disbelief.

“It’s totally cool if you don’t feel the same way we can just pretend this never happened!” he rambles nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yes”

“Yes?” his voice wavers with hopefulness and you want to pinch yourself to make sure you aren’t dreaming

“Yes I’ll go out with you!” Bokuto grins, the way he looks so happy and relieved at the same time makes you soft.

“Fucking finally!” Kuroo shouts from down the hall making the two of you burst out into laughter.

[minniepetals]

hi! a drabble about rich girl oc and gardener ot7? 🥺

The world had no purpose for you all except to act like a lovely child to your fake happy family that the media had portrayed to love and cherish you with their everything. You had no need to live for a life except one that pleased the parents that have lost their touch and senses after fame and success got the best of them.

It all happened when you were seven years old, finally having the courage to show up to galas and parties with them. You hid behind your mother the whole night but people cooed and oogled at you and it had never been the same since then. They found you as the perfect trophy child and you were left to walk the footsteps behind your parent’s shadows.

Fifteen years later, nothing changed except that you grew older. You got tired of it all but what else could you do? There was another party but this time your parents were hosting it. You were meant to stay in plain sight at all time but you were too bored to just stand in place and mingle with strangers whom you were very positive had the same fake relationships with one another as you had with your parents.

So you snuck out to the garden when your parents weren’t looking, stupid heels clicking as you walked in a fast pace onto the pavement that led past a few flower beds, through the beautiful flower arches, and into a beautiful greenhouse that could hide you among the many beautiful plants watched over by the gardeners.

You took a seat on a bench that stood in the center of the large greenhouse, kicked off your white heels, pressed your hands to lay behind you as you leaned back against your shoulders, head tilted up towards the clear sight of the stars above you. You breathed in the wonderful scent of the greenerys around you and smiled.

That was it.

The night breeze, the smell of nothing but pure air and flowers. No chocolate fondue. No perfume and cologne that were far too much for the node to take. No bright lights of the chandeliers. No guests mingling and being fake.

Peace.

Just you and nature.

“Oh!”

You jumped at the sound, afraid someone had caught you and you opened your eyes, gasping, only to be greeted by a man you weren’t too familiar with. But under the stars and moonlight, he wore a black tea with a gardener appron, eyes doey like those of a cute bunny, cheeks tinted with a light pink blush as he blinked, wide eyed at the sight of you, a pretty girl in a pretty light pink dress that layed just above your lower thighs.

“I-I’m sorry for scary you,” he stuttered, scratching behind his neck sheepishly and you couldn’t help but to try and hold a smile back. He was cute. Handsome, but cute. “Are you, um...o-okay? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the party, my lady?”

My lady.

Why did that sound so nice?

Of course the lower classes were supposed to address you that way but hearing him made you smile. “I got bored,” you simply said as you sat up straight and gifting him with a sweet grin. “You work so late into the night?”

“Y-yeah,” Jungkook nodded. “The other gardeners are here too and we’re about to start setting up on the greenhouse so..-”

Your eyes widened as you caught sight of someone trying to turn the lights on and, still barefoot, you got on your feet so fast, palms pressed together as you cringed, shutting your eyes closed. “Wait! Don’t turn on the lights!” You begged and gasped as you clasped a hand over your mouth because you had been so loud.

A few voices were heard and you were quick to grab Jungkook’s upper arms, hiding yourself behind him.

It stayed like that for a few seconds with him suddenly frozen in place because you had grabbed onto him, hiding from whomever, until the voices finally disappeared and you let out a relieved sigh, letting him go and your warmth vanished with it.

“Are you not supposed to be here, my lady?” Someone else asked and you almost had a heart attack until you saw him wearing the same gardener attire as Jungkook.

“Uh,” you trailed off, chuckling sheepishly at Yoongi’s question. “Not really. I snuck out,” you confessed.

“You snuck out?” Jimin blinked and you nodded.

“I heard parties were supposed to be fun.”

“It gets old, trust me,” you sighed at Taehyung’s comment and sat back down onto the bench. “When you’re in this business industry for some time, the same boring old parties gets annoying and you just want to stick your head into a water fountain.”

“That bad?” Seokjin chuckled.

“Do you know fake everything is?” You complained.

“Fake?” Hoseok asked.

“Everyone thinks my family is this pretty fantasy where everything is lovely and wonderful when in reality, once everyone is gone and the door closes, I’m back to being ignored. The same goes for every fake people that walks through those doors and everyone I meet at these fancy parties and galas. The only thing they like talking about is how perfect their life is and that they’re so rich but I know it’s not all picture perfect.”

Their faces distorted with sympathy. “I...didn’t know that, I’m sorry,” Namjoon said, pressing him lips together.

“It’s not you who should apologize, I just...” you sighed as you looked up at the stars again, “I want something real for once, you know? Something...someone that can make me feel real and alive again.”

What you hadn’t realized at the time was that right there in that greenhouse, surrounded by pretty plants and flowers, they were the answers you had been longing for.

The days and nights passed since the first time you’ve spoken to them and everything had changed since then.

In the daylight, you’d exchange shy glances with one another, hiding your greetings behind your parent’s backs. And when the evening came, you’d sneak out whenever you could just to talk to them, converse in conversations that were entirely different from the fake guests that would walk into your house, and laughed and smiled in ways you never knew you could.

For once, something felt real. You felt real. You felt alive.

Hidden in a beautiful greenhouse that they’ve taken great care in, away from the galas and parties, that was the only place you’d rather be in than your fake of a mansion.

[fairyshuuu]

Iveracity 1| do kyungsoo

.summary. IVERACITY (noun) the act or practice of deceiving; concealment or distortion of the truth for the purpose of misleading; duplicity; fraud; lies. .word count. 30k .pirate!au | princess!au | strangers to lovers!au. .pairing. kyungsoo x female!reader .genre. fluff, romance, fantasy, smut (in part 2) 

.warnings. violence, blood mentions, char/char threats (violence is not cute pals!), swearing, human trafficking mentions, drowning threats and mentions, sehun is best boy, pirate!baekhyun (not a warning but i ♡), explicit language and scenes, dom!kyungsoo, first time, unprotected sex, it starts very slow, i’m sorry!

!  if you are on mobile, please try to open this post on desktop instead because it might very well crash the app, thank youu  !

.author’s note. this bitch is really long, so sit down with a blanket and a cup of tea please, i don’t want you to get back or neck pain. hope you enjoy!!

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With the bright of morn, a harmonic melody sounds just barely though the thick, stone walls, waking any stragglers from slumber. You, however, have been awake for hours already. Though your hair is pinned up with costly jewelry every which way, still a few stray strands fall into your face. “Oh please, your Highness,” you breathe, turning on your heel to follow behind the tall figure that readies to walk out the door, “it’s hardly a difficult request. I’ve been scouring the port for weeks now. I’m prepared entirely, top to bottom.”

The man sighs and sends you a small smile, while two maids slide the protectors around his lower arms into place. When all is finished, his pristine outfit all in place for the day, he turns to you. A heavy hand is rested on your shoulder, dark eyes finding yours. “Will you settle down? It’s early, Princess, and people are still sleeping.”

“The sun is up,” you huff in response, “that means ‘get to work’.” The two maids bow deeply and leave the room after that, leaving just the two of you in the smaller of dressing rooms inside the palace. When the King doesn’t say any more, you breathe out deeply. “Father, please. I promise I can do this. I’ve readied all my supplies myself, I have a guard set up and everything. Besides, I’m not as young as you hope I am anymore. If not now, I’ll never get to do anything worthwhile before I’m married off.” When your father glances at you again, you pout. “Please?”

“Y/N Clementine Panethin,” he says, a frown sliding onto his face. Your father, though he does his best to sound fed up, has always had a soft spot for you. It is why you can push it as much as you can, you’d hardly ever consider whining this way to your mother. He rubs his fingers right above his brow, smoothing away the non-existent wrinkles there as he thinks. Your father, like most of the kings and queens, is still very young. Perhaps it’s this that sets you apart from the working class. The ability to marry young, to have children while you’re still as able-bodied as you were. Well, that, and the money of course. 

“Why,” he sighs then, “why is it so hard for you to just accept your role in this world?” His clothes are covered top to bottom in fine copper thread, shimmering even in the low light of the sun. If he was hunting for food, and not for fun, you’d guess the clothes impractical. But royals don’t do anything for the need of it. “And I don’t think you can complain about marriage, young lady. When I was as young as you are now, I was already married and had your sister, after all. Be glad I haven’t married you off myself already.” You huff in response, taking as deep a breath as the tight corset around your ribs allows you to.

“I’m fading away in these sad, lonely walls! Colet and Toelo don’t have to stay inside all day, why do I?”

“Because your older sister and brother are both married and are doing their ruling jobs, Princess. Until you are, you’re supposed to stay inside and learn your families craft by heart. That is your role, as the younger of the two girls,” he smiles as he says it, sensing your absolute refusal of his words as soon as he speaks them. He is, by all accounts, right of course. Women being the head of the family comes with some great advantages, ones you have no right complaining about. Still doesn’t take away the excruciating boredom though.

“I’ve learned everything I had to since I was five years old. I can read texts older than my great great grandmother, should I ever need to do so. I can paint, sing and dance.” You sigh, looking at the countless pieces of jewelry displayed on the wall next to you, and pick one of the pieces from it’s hanger. Your father bows his head smoothly for you to place it on him, securing it in his long, black hair to have the colorful stone fall between his brows. A protection charm. “But what I want more than all of that combined— is to see the world. Please, your Highness, let me. And I’ll never complain again.”

With this, your father straightens up, and pulls you into a small hug. “Alright, you little monkey. You can go.” He walks to the door and past it then, not willing to lose more precious daylight spent indoors. You trail behind, eyes wide.

“Wait, really? I’m really allowed to go?” When your father rolls his eyes at your disbelief, you jump up and give him another hug. “Oh really?! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best parent ever. I love you.” When you rush past him and toward the exit, your father laughs along with you.

“Be careful! And I want to hear from you in a dozen days at the latest.”

“Promise!” you confirm, already rushing through the shiny halls on bare feet. With the door closing behind you, you run past the many rooms of the palace, past the gardens too. After a good minute or two you finally make it to the main room, as many of your cousins and nieces get ready to eat breakfast. You don’t need to join them, not when you have a ship to board in a couple hours. Arriving to the main hall, you slow, taking a deep breath in and out. Excitement rushes through your veins.

The main hall leads straight to the wide, open world. The sky is clear, though still dim in the early quiet of the morning, colored an orange to pull in the rising sun. The big plaza in front of the palace is still devoid of people this early too. You clean and dry your feet quickly before tying your shoes and grabbing the bags prepared carefully for your departure.

The plan is to join the traveling fleet on it’s journey to your biggest trading companion. Aking, the Capital and the only home you’ve ever known, is rich with many talented artisans who often sail their goods to the land north from here. You don’t just know this of course, since a Princess doesn’t have much to trade for. You barely go outside of the city, let alone to leave the island. And you like it that way for the most part, since your country is a beautiful, thriving place. 

But for as much as you’ve read, there’s one place that seems to be even prettier. Elyfhil, of the land of snow. When your older sister announced yet another trading fleet to go there, you couldn’t help yourself. You just have to see it yourself, if only once. The cold breeze travels down your spine, carrying the soft rumbling of the lively city to greet you. As if right on time, a voice clears behind you. “Where do you think you’re rushing off to so quietly, Princess?”

You straighten out, and pull a grin as you greet the new person. “Out.”

The young man’s eyebrows rise considerably, normally serious expression replaced for one of youthful wonder. “You actually got them to let you go?” Sehun is dressed in the royal guard colors, sunflower yellow and a deep blue, though he still looks about as sleep deprived as usual. For as much as the guards get switched out, a security measure of sorts, Sehun’s been there for longer than you can remember. He was one of the only people to ever volunteer, if you recall correctly. He’s been your friend ever since he entered the palace at twelve years old, wide eyed and clueless.

“Sure did,” you nod, smiling gratefully when Sehun takes the heavier bag from you to carry it himself. He’s not the little, scrawny boy he once was anymore, and it shows. “Actually, I was just about to go check the quarters for a guard willing to accompany me on a long and tiresome journey like this one. It might be hard to find someone able to travel with me. Unless you want—”

“I’ll go!” Sehun brings out before you can even finish, reaching forward to grab your second bag. “Anything to get away from the new maid girl. She’s been following me around for the entire week, I can’t do it anymore. I suppose I feel flattered, but Gods… I can hardly focus on my work this way.” You snort as he colors slightly pink.

“Yeah, you’re right. Which man would possibly enjoy the attention of a beautiful girl like her? I can’t imagine the hardship.” Sehun’s face voids when he looks at you, though you can almost read the retort in his eyes. Luckily you’re a Princess, who can’t be sworn at. “Come on, Master Sehun. We have a ride to catch.” With a swift nod, he slips into his shoes as well, and starts walking. Down the stairs and across the marketplace that unfold in the shadow of the mountain. You greet some people as they walk past, getting ready to set up store on the expanse.

When you look further down the path, Sehun has your both bags on a shoulder each, dark hair swaying left and right in the wind, much like the flowers that line the cobbled street. You speed your steps to keep up with the man, and take a deep breath of the peaceful silence of the city. Some kids dart behind the houses when they see you two approach. “Are my bags not too heavy?” you ask, turning to your friend. “We might have to leave some things behind in the stables if they are.”

Sehun laughs at that, shaking his head. His eyes crinkle into moons with that sentiment, reminding you of the many times you two played in the royal gardens when you were both a lot younger. This must be the first time you’re heading out with him though, even with all the years that have passed. “They are fine, Princess,” your friend grins, looking over his shoulder as you do your best to keep up with his long legs. As you arrive to the big, richly decorated building he pauses, putting them down next to his feet. “Now quickly go pick a horse for us both. Or your precious dream will sail off without you.”

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The trip to the port city Aoran takes both longer and less than you expect it to. The sun is quite unforgiving while you travel, the heat of the horse beneath you only adding to it in turn. But though you ride for a couple of hours, the scenery is ever-changing and you find it to go by much quicker than hours normally do. When you finally arrive, your water and tea are almost at day’s end. The salty ocean wind comes to wish you welcome, along with the busy chatter of the city life. The streets are wider than those back home, and crawling with people left and right. You dismount your horse smoothly, not catching your robe like you watch Sehun do, as he almost levels with the ground. You do your best to keep the giggles to a minimum when he already looks entirely mortified.

As you cautiously walk into town, many eyes trail behind you. You guess you do stand out quite a bit, doused top to bottom in everything expensive. Aking is full of these sorts though, you never noticed how obvious you were until just now. The people here are used to a more toned down display of class. Long hair tied out of the way with ribbons instead of the metal pins you’re used to, and a surprising amount of pants. Weird. As you walk, Sehun stays close to your side, though his eyes are as full of curious stars as yours are, if not more. “I’m pretty sure we just follow the road down,” you mumble to him, noticing people who scurry around to get out of your path. You never really thought the Capital as rich before, but maybe now— 

“I believe so too, Princess.” He cocks his head forward in gesture, towards a group of men and women further down the wide, cobbled streets that click under your shoes. “I’d say follow the fishermen, probably.” Indeed, the people have thick bundles of nets tied around their backs, and heavy ropes in hand, most likely seafolk of a sort. When they turn the corner at the end of the street, so do you. The houses here are nowhere near as tall or large as you’re used to, but they have a certain charm. Though foreign, the city carries a peacefulness, a rhythm of life that seems to bring you warmth. If you weren’t so down on time, you’d love to spend weeks here, exploring every single nook and cranny. 

Soon, the sounds of chatter is replaced with that of seagulls, and of metal slamming against wood. A much rougher sound. The sun sinks ever so slowly past it’s highest point, making you swallow. After midday, the letters had informed. You just hope… “What if we missed the boat, Sehun? I can’t possibly explain my mother that I wish to try again.” You lean a bit closer to him when a vendor jumps into the street to sell some goods, reeking of wine, or maybe some cheaper drink. He doesn’t seem worried though, and trails peacefully behind you.

“I doubt there’s anything your parents wouldn’t allow you, your Highness.” He smiles as if to himself, before looking over at you. “Or is it not you whose entire collection of ancient pottery was painted over at a certain time, “by accident”? Pretty sure you didn’t even get told off, let alone punished. The King and Queen have the biggest of soft spots for you. If you blink your lashes enough, I’m certain you can do whatever you desire.” When he finishes with a giggle, you have to pause. A soft hum leaves you, because he’s right. You can hardly complain.

The fisherfolk in front turn corner again, leaving you to wonder. As you look up to follow one of the birds overhead with your eyes, you spot a tall pole sticking out above the houses. It is a little rough around the edges, with worn ropes hanging from the top and another fabric that darts softly back and forth in the wind. It takes a few seconds for you to really realize what it is, but when you do you almost swallow your tongue. “Is that the mast?” you bring out, shocked. “It’s so much taller than I thought it would be, dear Gods! How big is this damn boat?”

You rush down the last bit of road at a much swifter pace, the brown mare trotting behind you. When you round the corner, with Sehun’s displeased mumbling in the background, you stop drop dead in the middle of the street. The pier is long, and filled with hundreds of people, but that’s not what catches your attention. The wooden boat closest to you is massive, and only one of many. You could run the entire length of it and be out of breath. The national flag blows proud in the wind, wood accompanied with touches of silver, and ocean topaz that shimmers in the light of the sun. Clearly part of the royal fleet. You don’t even want to doubt how a thing of this size floats.

“Princess Y/N,” Sehun calls from behind you, having caught up. “Over here.” You have to forcefully tear your eyes away from the countless things happening to find your friend in the stir. People do their best to stay out of your way though, staring over their shoulders with whispers of ‘princess’ to their friends. You spot Sehun standing by another guard, as he motions you closer. “This is Marthe, a guard of house Sinith. He’s staying here in town until the crew return from their journey.” The boy is still quite young, with boyish features and some messy, brown hair. He gives you a deep bow, not quite catching your eyes. It too, is pinned out of his face with a silver-like pin, decorated all over with tiny, orange gems. Strange how easy it is to pick out who belongs and who doesn’t. But then again, maybe that’s the point.

“Your Majesty” the boy smiles, taking hold of Sehun’s horse as he hands it over. “My sister and her husband own that tavern, over down by the beach. We have some stables that can hold the royal mounts while you go, though. If that would convenience your Majesty, of course.” Sehun’s already taking your bags off of the horses before you can say anything, so with a small smile, you agree. He smoothly picks the reigns from your hands without touching them, and bows once again. “I’ll take good care of them,” he confirms. You don’t doubt it.

“Thank you. You’ll be rewarded graciously upon my return,” you confirm, already watching him turn away. Some voices sound from down further, with the wafts of the waves rhythmically smashing against the pier. Everything seems to move much quicker here, like the rapid flow of the ocean affects the people just as much as it affects the sand. This is their life though, the maritime trade provides everyone here with money to live. You grab a loose hold of Sehun’s garb as he travels through the people, hands occupied with your large sacks. His tall shape barely sticks out between all the others here. “Hey, Sehun?” you suddenly bring out, squeezing between two men who drag a full net over the ground. Sehun can just about catch your eyes as he looks over, and pulls a questioning face. “Was this one of my really bad ideas, you think?”

“Probably,” he laughs, “but I like it. At least you’re trying to be someone you dream of being. The Capital has enough prim and proper Princesses to marry half of them off without problems. You’re making a difference!” He points over to the ocean then, to the incoming waves that look a lot less unruly from a distance. “I haven’t heard of a single princess boarding a ship just for the fun of it, after all.” You two walk past the full length of the pier to reach the way up, as you stare all the while. People climb with ease into the ropes that span between the masts. Some people carry the last of giant boxes of merchandise down deck, while others talk joyfully between them. A boat like this, as strange as it sounds, almost has an entire life of it’s own, you think. A life where city rules don’t count nearly as much.

“Careful,” Sehun motions over to the edge of the pier as you come to a standstill, looking up now too. He stares for a second longer, before lifting his shoulders. “I think here is where my expertise stops, your Highness. You do have a way to get on board, don’t you?” You point in front of you without thinking, to the narrow piece of wood connecting the pier to the boat. It moves up and down with the motions of the wooden vehicle. “By Idite, not that! I mean, are we even allowed to be on the ship, Princess?”

“Oh, that,” you respond. Of course you thought of that, you’ve been preparing for this journey for two months now. Though, you’re not quite sure how this works. “Yes, of course, we’re allowed. I’ve sent multiple letters back and forth with the crew leader, after all. I just don’t really … know what they look like, ‘s all.” This makes your friend’s mouth drop open in disbelief, but you’re already walking up the plank before he can add any of his no-doubt entirely positive criticism. “Only one way to find out, I guess!” With wide outstretched arms you walk forth bit by bit, not willing to let the sudden movements of the waves below scare you. Another advantage of being royal born maybe, is that you have received a great swimming training, since you were a small child.

You hold your breath when the plank creaks below your feet, balance feeling entirely clunky on the narrow walkway. When you finally set foot on board, a relief seems to fill your tense body. You turn to Sehun to check on him, and motion for him to throw the bags over to you, which he does with a surprising ease. As the bags land with loud thumps beside you, you turn to take in the ship. Your entrance doesn’t seem to have gone unnoticed, however, since many of the men stare at you without blinking. “Captain!” one calls over his shoulder, as you look around. The sails of the boat are truly gigantic, most likely the largest pieces of fabric you’ve ever seen, and fall from three different masts. The wood under your feet is polished top to bottom.

Without warning, a person suddenly drops from the sky— or one of the many ropes more likely, having you stumble back in surprise. The stranger is tall and quite built, with long, copper hair that peeks out from under a large hat. The woman grins when your eyes widen in surprise, before bowing a slight bit. “Well, well, what pretty flower washed onto my ship so suddenly.” Before you can answer, she takes a gentle hold of your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles, as you shoot entirely cherry red. “You’re awfully dressed up.” 

When you don’t respond right away, she lets your hand drop back down under the laughter of some of the crew, and lifts an eyebrow. “Sorry to say, sugar plum, but I think you’ve walked onto the wrong ship. And I don’t like sending pretty girls away so rudely, but we have somewhere to be before sundown, so.” The woman is clearly a good bit older than you, but is dressed in the colors of your house, albeit a faded version of them because of the sun. Her skin is full and warm, and her face with big, round eyes that seem to scan you thoroughly.

As you open your lips to respond, a smooth voice comes from your right, somewhat hurried and with a hint of laughter laced between the words. “Ah, Captain, I think this is my doing.” The man greets you with a deep bow, and smiles, lips curling cutely like a feline during a nap. “You must be Princess Y/N, I’ll assume. I’m your correspondent of the last few weeks, it’s nice to finally meet you in person. Kim Jongdae, quartermaster.” He greets you in the traditional Aking way that you’re much more used to, with his knuckles pressed together against his heart and a small bow of the head, that you gratefully reincorporate. “Or first mate, for the non seafaring folk, I guess.”

He then turns your attention back to the woman to his side, and smiles widely. “This scary one is the boss of this operation, you’ll be safe in her hands. Captain Lilith, meet the Princess that will be accompanying us for our travels. Princess,” he then returns. You briefly offer the captain a deep bow, looking around. The crew that have gathered around you in a circle seem increasingly interested now. You have to wonder how many of them have ever been to the Capital before, if any. Lilith nods in understanding, before crossing her muscular arms over her chest. You’ve seen strong women before, but geez, she’s got more muscles than Sehun does. It’s kind of impressive.

“I see. Well then,” she sighs, pointing in the general direction of the cabin at the far end of the boat. “Sugar plum can stay in the free room downstairs.” She looks around at her crew then, and frowns. “What are all of you still standing here, we’ve got a ship to man! Off your feet and to your positions. This is not a evening cruise, so make it snappy, thank you very much.” With a hand on the black-haired man’s shoulder, she moves to walk away. “Jongdae, you’ll handle this?”

“Aye, Captain.” Her heavy boots make the wood creak as she walks away, disappearing out of view by the wild back and forth of her crew. You stare until the feather of her hat vanishes entirely when the door is pulled close behind her. So instead you turn your attention to the man who’s left. Jongdae is kind-looking, with bright, calculating eyes and high cheekbones, one of which has a scar down it. His hair is tied back with the same ribbons you saw the townspeople use, but he has a certain attitude that screams Capital to you. He takes you in top to bottom again now, and then smiles, the gesture warm. “I’m sorry about that. I did tell her that you’d be coming a few days ago, but in all the preparation, it must have slipped both of our minds. I’ll prepare your room as soon as we’re out of the harbor, Princess.”

“It’s okay,” you reply, toying with your dress, “I’ve had that happen to me more times than I can count.” You turn to pick up the bags that were so graciously tossed on board earlier, and then gasp. “Oh! This is Sehun, by the way. He’s my guard for this journey. I did mention that, didn’t I?” Sehun bows politely to the quartermaster, looking about as out-of-his-element as you feel.

“You did,” the raven haired man grins, giving the other a slight bow.

“Good.” You flush a little, attempting to shake the silence between you. It’s just strange. You’ve never met people before who regard you so casually while knowing who you are. It’s either one or the other, most of the time. When you go out into the outskirts of capital, dressed in the plainest clothes you own, it’s easy to pretend that you’re one of them. Sit by the canal, watching small children rushing by on their short, stubby, little legs. When one of them tumbles and you rush forward to help, a mother thanks you genuinely. Because she wants to thank you, not because of a certain imposed obligation. Jongdae looks at you this way now too, despite knowing who you are. You swallow, and attempt a better hold on the bag when it slips down. “Is there anything I could help with?”

“Later, maybe,” he agrees, which makes a slight pride swell in your chest. At least he doesn’t think you’re entirely useless. Jongdae nods, more to himself than to you, and cleans his hands on his brown pants. You’re a bit caught off guard when you really take a look at him. His clothes are not what you expected a sailor to wear, though that might be an entirely self-centered misconception on your part. It’s just— his clothes are clean, and entirely well made too. The white blouse seems much more comfortable on a busy place like this than the tight, restrictive clothing your dressed in. Colorful glass beads are woven into some strands of his hair, and his earrings are even more intricate then yours. “I guess it’s good that our ship is as big as it is, huh. With the amount of metal you’re wearing, a smaller vessel would have gone straight to the bottom.”

You laugh a little at that, glad to rid the situation of the awkward tension as soon as possible. If you’ll be on the same ship for a few weeks, you’d rather be comfortable with the people you’re on it with. Jongdae doesn’t seem very hard to like, though. “I think you’ll be fine.” You look up to the sky again, watching as people swing around between the ropes with ease, like they’ve spent their entire lives up in the ropes. Most of them probably have. “I’ve never been on a boat this big,” you admit, “or at all, really.”

Jongdae motions to follow him as he talks, eyes smiley. “It’s not just a boat. It’s a ship, Princess. The royal fleet has some of the biggest ships in the entire world, the May Terror is no exception.” As you walk toward the cabin, you notice that the plaque above the door indeed has ‘May Terror’ engraved into it, bright in the afternoon sun. You wonder who gave it it’s name. Lilith, maybe. You walk past many of the crew, attempting to acknowledge every person you meet with a little bow of your head. “Besides,” Jongdae continues, “I guess we would be fine! Don’t Royal born’s float in water?” He turns to you with a laugh, but the question seems entirely genuine, so you raise your brows at him.

“No! Of course we don’t.” You glance behind you to check for your friend a second, before continuing. Sehun seems bright in the light of the sun, his demeanor entirely soaking in the new environment. You’re glad he likes it this much, you do too. “I don’t think there’s anything that floats in the ocean, quartermaster.”

“Actually,” Sehun brings out, long legs easily keeping up with your pace even with his wondrous looking around, “I heard the same about sailors.” Jongdae’s eyebrows raise at that. “That they float in water, you know.”

Jongdae snorts, and pushes open the back door of the cabin, leading into a dim staircase. “Well, believe me, we don’t either. After you,” he gestures. You shift your dumb, big bag to one arm, and lift your dress with the other hand as you descend, blinking against the darkness of the hall. Jongdae follows behind you, and Sehun last. The hall is narrow, the air a bit dull. The strong scent of sea is still present, but there’s also hints of candle wax and wine here, which seems to check out. Jongdae leans over you a little to point at the far door to your right, and laughs. “That’s the one. You and your guard would be sharing a room though, if that’s okay. Or, if you’re not too comfortable with that idea, he can sleep downstairs as well, where the rest of the crew is.”

You nod and make your way over, pushing down the silver handle to reveal a beautiful room, with more light than you would’ve expected. A large, round window sits in the middle of the wall, flanked on both sides by beds. The side closest to you has a large dresser, and even a mirror. “Wow,” you just breathe, making way to allow both men to enter. As you walk towards the window, a loud bell sounds from somewhere upstairs, scaring you a little.

“Ah, I’ve gotta be getting up there, we’re sailing out.” Jongdae checks around the room quickly, before nodding. “You can get settled in, your Highness. And afterwards, come find us up top, the main door will lead you straight to the office. If you have a need for anything else, we’ll get you sorted out then.” Before you can even say a proper thanks, he closes the door behind him and rushes off to help man the ship, you guess. With a little sigh, you drop the one bag on your bed, and sit down next to it. Sehun follows your lead, though he stays standing on his side of the room, with a little frown.

“Your Highness. I’ll go find myself a place downstairs, do not worry. And maybe I can get the quartermaster to apologize for the mistake as well.” He turns away to start unpacking your stuff, mumbling quietly to himself, but loud enough for you to catch it. “A guard and a Princess sleeping in the same room, ridiculous.”

You pause to think for a moment, hearing the waves rushing past at an almost timed speed, again and again. Paired with the creaking of the ship and the muffled sound of voices, sounds entirely foreign, and yet you find a joy in it. You, a Princess, on a gigantic ship called the May Terror, it’s comical at best. “Actually,” you say, “if you don’t mind, I’d rather have you here.” Sehun’s eyes are big as saucers when he turns to look over his shoulder at you. “It’s unconventional, I know, but I don’t know anyone else here, and I’d take a great comfort in having you here. Besides, it’s not like the King and Queen would even find out.”

After a long pause, your friend nods, though hesitation is still marked in his eyes. “Of course, your Highness, if that’s what you wish for.”

“It is,” you confirm, getting up to take out one of your dresses. It’s a much lighter fabric that the traditional one you’re used to wearing, which means it’s infinitely more expensive, but it doesn’t look it. Besides, it’s hot down here, the air smothering. A lighter dress would do you well. When Sehun notices your stance, he immediately looks away.

“I’m waiting outside.” With that he runs off and shuts the door behind him, while your giggle follows. Sehun should probably also change. You’re not sure if he brought anything but the bare essentials though. Maybe he could borrow from Jongdae. You lay the dress down on the bed and stare at it for a second, taking in it’s pale pink color, as well as the form-fitted silhouette. Modern craftsmanship at it’s finest. If you were to wear this inside the palace though… well— safe to say you just wouldn’t wear it in the palace. Your mom and your older sister would both have your head.

You reach behind you to loosen the tied lints of your corset, fiddling with them until they come apart, and lay it down next to you on the bed, to disrobe entirely. Despite what some people might think, you actually don’t get dressed by maids every day, so you’ve gotten quite good at taking off your clothes without wrinkling them. The intricately embroidered dress is put aside and replaced by the pretty, empire waisted dress. It’s light, made of countless layers of sheer linen and entirely too “modern” for someone of your status, but this place makes you feel daring. You slip it on quickly, and sigh because it’s gorgeous, like you expected it to be. But Gods, does it show the entirety of your ankles. You’ll just have to live with it, you suppose.

“Sehun,” you call out then, hoping that he’s still waiting in the hall, “please come help me lace up! I can’t do it on my own.” This is true, of course, you think as you situate the corset back into place, but this way you can also check the reaction of your friend before going out into the real world. If he truly thinks it too much, you might just have to suffer through the heat. Sehun enters after two swift knocks, and sighs.

“It’s really dark in that hall, they should place some candles or — something.” He trails off, before blinking a couple of times. You motion for him to lace up your support and to your luck, he does so without thinking twice about it. “I won’t say anything about it, your Highness,” he says as he pulls the piece to your usual tightness, “but if your parents would know what you’ve been up to already, and the ship has barely left the port?” He doesn’t need to continue that sentence, because you both know you’d be in massive trouble.

“But they won’t know, now will they?” You respond, relaxing when Sehun ties the lints easily. “Now, I’ll go ask Jongdae if he has something to lend that you can wear. You’ll overheat if you keep walking around in uniform like this.”

Sehun snorts, but lets you do what you want. He’s known you for long enough now to realize that you will do what you want to do, whether there is someone to stop you or not. “Let’s get up to the cabin, then,” he grins. “If I you don’t get followed around by every man on the ship, that is. You know, I thought you were going on this trip to get away from the prospect of marriage, not to gain your own harem.”

“I heard that all girls dress like this in the smaller towns, actually.” You push open the door with a huff, already walking towards the stairs. “Your lack of fashion knowledge proves that you’ve never been outside the Capital before, Master Sehun.”

“And you have?” He laughs when you send him a little glare, but follows behind at a polite distance. When you get back on deck, the wind is much more wild then it was in port. You lean over the barricade as far as you can, mouth dropping open when you look behind you. Aoran already looks tiny from here, the white of smaller sails looking like little specks in the distance. Everything looks so green from this far out. The waves of the sea smash against the sides of the ship, small drops flying up high enough to reach your face. “Have you ever seen anything that beautiful, Sehun? Look at the city.”

He nods, staring at the view much like you are. “The world is so much bigger than you realize when you’re always locked up indoors.” And right he is. You feel so small in the wake of it all. Trailing behind this first ship are two more, smaller in size but impressive nevertheless, all with the same design as this one. Not wanting to disturb anyone working on deck, you decide to follow Jongdae’s command and make your way to the main cabin as soon as possible, while Sehun decides to explore the ship further. When you knock and push open the office door, you’re surprised by how spacious the room is. The Captain is stood bent over the massive map, as Jongdae sits slouched comfortably in a chair by the window.

“Hope I’m not intervening,” you mumble softly, as the door falls into lock behind you.

Jongdae smiles, getting up to motion you over. “Not at all, princess. We’re just trying to predict what route to sail, is all.” You nod in understanding, as Lilith gives you a small smile of acknowledgement. “You said you’ve never been on a ship before, right?”

“Right.”

“Have you ever seen any other place but the Capital, your Majesty?” the Captain then asks, frown deep set on her visage, as you lift your shoulders.

“I saw Aoran for the first time a few hours ago, if that tells you anything. I mean,” you trail your finger over the map slowly, where Aking is just barely visible on it, “there’s large forests around the city, and mountains that you can walk up for days without getting to the other side. I’ve seen some of those places on outings before, briefly. But real cities, I’ve only ever read about.” The two sailors share a glance when you talk. “Not that I’m ungrateful for my position, of course. I have it much easier than most people. But that’s also partly why I wanted to join this journey. I want to be involved in my nation’s trade, I want to know who we’re trading with. Want to know what people go through, you know.”

Jongdae nods, before putting a hand on your shoulder. “I think that’s you’re doing a pretty good thing then, your Highness.” You mouth a ‘thank you’, before aiming your gaze back at the map. Lilith maps out points with a definite ease, she must have done this many, many times before after all. “Well, let me show you then,” Jongdae suddenly says, pulling you around to the other side of the table. “Our first stop will be this island. There’s a small town there called Caryon, where our food and water gets refilled for the rest of the journey. It’s the biggest of a couple islands here, as you can see. But unlike most other islands in this area, Caryon is under the nation’s control. If you have a need for anything, be sure to ask before we leave there. We’re meant to arrive around tomorrow evening, by sundown. Then we dock there until morning to resume our travels.”

“What about the other islands?” you ask, looking over at Jongdae as he easily explains. Jongdae too, looks at total ease on the ship. You wonder how long he’s been sailing for, but don’t ask. If he’s from Aking, something that seems likely considering his appearance and gesturing, something must have happened to turn him into a seafarer. People from the Capital don’t just become sea folk. Not like he is.

“What about the other islands?” he repeats.

“Well, you said, unlike the other islands, Caryon is owned by the nation. Who own the other islands?” You can barely finish your sentence or the Captain clears her throat, standing up straight. The two experienced sailors don’t say anything for a few seconds, before someone moves. Captain Lilith turns then, takes a glass and fills it to the brim with peach wine, a drink highly prized even in Aking. She offers it to you, and sighs.

“Just no-good chums, sugar plum. Don’t worry too much about them, we’re not planning to run into them anyway.” She wraps your fingers around the cup and then softly gestures you towards the door. “Why don’t you enjoy a bit of the sun and the wind, outside, ay? It’s a nice day out, and you’ll be stuck inside for too long when it starts getting cold out. Faring North tends to have that effect.” As if to confirm her words, Jongdae nods and gives you a wink.

“Captain’s right, Princess. I’ll let you know when you can help, okay? For now, you should probably experience your first boat ride from a better place than inside this dusty, old office.” With a slight pout, you nod, and bow as you head back out. The sun still hangs high in the sky, and the crew is easily bustling with a life of it’s own, laughing and talking as they do their jobs. The wind in the sails makes them bulge like reeds in the wind. As you sip your wine, you take in the view. The city that was once visible on the horizon behind now is gone, swallowed entirely by the waves, making way for an endless ocean to stretch out. It seems just as vast as the night sky, without edges to contain it on any side. You wonder if you’ll be able to count stars on the surface of the ocean when evening comes. You hope you can.

     🌊🌊🌊    

Your hands wrap around the cold game pieces again, tossing them onto the table with an attentive gaze. The ship bobs back and forward without purpose, as you reach to the side and watch the man in front of you work. He topples one of the bone runes, and then another. The game is kind of confusing, and you absolutely suck at it, but it’s entertaining anyway. The man across you plays easy, you can tell by the rolling of the eyes of the crew behind him. “Put that one forward,” Sehun mumbles to you, pointing at the piece with the number three. Cato, that’s what the blond in front of you is called, nods and points at the piece too.

“Good move,” he says. So you push it forward a square, and smile when Cato hands you a silver coin as a reward. “Congrats, your Highness.”

“You let me win.” Though he doesn’t say anything, you can see it in the glint in his eyes.

He shakes his head dramatically though. “I wouldn’t dare.” You don’t believe it one bit. “Well, thank you for this game, Princess. I’ll be heading back up though, my break is done.” Cato is a junior officer, in charge of the naval provisions and making sure the food is all accounted for. He’s nice, he offered you a biscuit earlier. With a bow, he stands from the table and puts on his vest. “I best take my leave before the Captain has my head on a stick.” The blond smiles at your expression. “Metaphorically, of course.”

“Or literally,” a guy laughs behind him, as you look on in surprise. “You know what they say, Cato.”

“Aye,” the other responds, placing his hat on his head.

You don’t though, and frown in question. “What do they say?”

Cato laughs off your confused frown, and rests his hands on his belt with ease. “They say that the Captain is the daughter of a giant and the ocean Goddess. I wouldn’t know though,” he smiles, “I’ve never asked her. It would make a lot of sense if you think about it.” You don’t know much about giants, but if anyone is the daughter of one, you believe it to be Lilith. And she does carry herself with the confidence you expect from a goddess’ child. “I’ll play you later, if I get the chance. And I won’t go easy on you that time.” You nod at that, laughing softly.

As you wave Cato out, the loud bell signalling your departure sounds out of the blue, the ringing rushed. It lasts a really long time. The two crewmen left in the hull look up at the sound of it, while glances are exchanged between all of you. They seem just as confused with the signal as you and Sehun are, which is much more concerning than the sound itself. Shouting seems to come from up top, ringing through the depth of the ship. The men get up and rush out the way Cato left, leaving only you and your friend left behind in the confusion.

“Uhm, what’s going on?” you question, asking no one in particular, glancing at Sehun with wide eyes. He is entirely as lost as you are, looking more like a sailor himself instead of a guard in the new clothes he borrowed. The shouting doesn’t stop, and you take this as a signal that something is wrong. “We have to go check up deck,” you say. Sehun attempts to hold you back by your dress but you’re up and through the door before he gets the chance to, rushing down the abandoned halls. The shouting gets louder and louder the higher you get, indicating your guess to be correct. Whatever is causing the ruckus is an unexpected and unwelcome one. When some of the crew scramble down the stairs in a hurry, you flatten yourself to the wall to let them pass and continue up, ignoring Sehun when he calls for you.

You get upstairs slightly disoriented, the sun bright compared to the dim inside, even though the sky colors orange and yellow. People are scuffling all around you, as you heave yourself out of the indent of the stairs and onto deck. Someone dressed entirely in black almost runs into you, choosing to push you aside instead. You frown but don’t let this stop you. As you get up from the deck you look around the tangled mess for anyone you recognize. And sure enough. Jongdae stands far behind you, sword in hand and fighting off the person that opposes him. When he spots you, his eyes widen, as he uses his free hand to motion ‘no’ over and over again. You can hardly run back to the stairs though, watching the rest of the crew storming up them, armed with swords and shields. Jongdae overpowers the other man and kicks him in the gut, before pushing him overboard with a grunt. 

While you’re distracted with all of this, someone grabs for your arm, holding tight. Sehun. He says something in words so rushed you don’t get to make them out, but sounds angry without question. You point over to the stern of the ship. “Jongdae’s over there.” Sehun pushes you behind him, and makes his way over there slowly but surely, avoiding strangers that get in your way. The quartermaster runs to meet you halfway, pushing another stranger out of the way in the process, as you blink around you in confusion, clinging to your friend. “What’s going on?” you yell over the noise. Jongdae wipes some blood from his cheek with his sleeve. You don’t know if it’s his or someone else’s, and it doesn’t really seem like the time to ask. You’re so lost at the situation. Both parties drop to the floor like flies, marking the spotless deck with stains of red.

“Pirates,” Jongdae breathes, gaze dark. He takes the smaller knife out of his belt to hand it to Sehun, before hiding the both of you behind him to make his way through the invaders. It’s hard to make out who is who in the mess of it, so you just cling to Sehun as you can’t do anything but watch. People getting pushed overboard, and others getting stabbed. Your stomach drops at the sight of it. To the side of the ship, you notice, is another boat, almost identical in size. It’s not a part of the fleet though, because the entire length of it is painted entirely black, with deep red sails that seem to have been doused in blood.

Jongdae comes back around to stay by you, something you find a lot more comforting. He seems to have found the Captain in the fighting, or they at least end up in the same place together when you look over at him. The woman slashes two men across their throats at the same time, the bodies falling overboard with a well-aimed kick. They fall in between the gap of your ship and the other, but just barely. “Captain!” Jongdae yells, glancing at her in worry. “Where’s the other ships?”

“I sent them ahead! These bloodsuckers are not getting a single coin today,” she roars back. She tackles another of the men and skewers him against the deck, viciously glancing around. Whatever she is, Goddess or not, you’d be terrified if you were fighting against her. She glances over her shoulder for just long enough to make you and Sehun out in the madness, and swears. “Get those two on a ship and out of here, Quartermaster!” Jongdae refutes almost instantly, but she doesn’t back down. “We are fine! They won’t keep fighting if enough of their men are injured. If she dies however,” another person gets speared to the floor, smacking their head into the deck hard enough to knock them out, “I won’t be responsible for the start of a war! Get her off my ship!”

Jongdae slashes another person down when they charge at you, before giving in with a swear. He pushes the two of you toward the back of the ship more, grabbing a hold of you. When he turns, you notice how much blood is on his face and ruining his white blouse. Blood runs out of his nose, though it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. “Run to the back and get your stuff, as fast as you can,” he says to Sehun, who nods and runs to the back immediately. “You,” he brings out, wiping the back of his hand over his face and smearing the blood all over his cheek because of it, “run into the Captain’s cabin and get a big bag. Fill it with food, money, and flasks of water, okay? I’ll protect the door. Go quick!”

Waiting for one of the Pirates to stumble away, you nod, doing your best to keep your eyes from watering. You didn’t even know pirates were a thing, let alone that they would attack you on sight. With the way towards the cabin relatively clear, you run over there as fast as you can, and push your full weight against the heavy door to open it. The door falls closed behind you, leaving you obstructed from the fight. If something were to happen to Jongdae or Sehun or the Captain, you wouldn’t even be aware of it until you got back out there. However, you don’t have time to think about that. You grab a big bag and do exactly as Jongdae asked, tossing everything in with shaky hands. A map, the small metal thingie the captain was using to mark places, you toss all of it inside. Three flasks of water, a heavy pouch of money, and all the fruit that was cleanly displayed on the dresser to the side.

The door creaks behind you as someone attempts to open it, but falls back into lock just as fast. Tingles of adrenaline crawl all over your skin, like small needles. When you’re done, you grab the thing in both arms and hoist it up to the best of your ability, but it’s heavy. You lean it against the wall to pull open the door, screaming as a person stumbles inside when you do. The pirate has a knife in his back though, the one Sehun had. “Come on!” your friend blurts when he notices you there, pushed against the wall as your only protection. He grabs the bag from you and pulls you through the door so fast you almost fall over your own feet. Jongdae is standing by the railing, and fights off another of the pirates. How many of these guys even are there?!

You arrive out of breath and with flushed cheeks, but don’t get time to pause. Sehun tosses the bag overboard, as you watch with wide eyes. “Sehun!” you start, before noticing the much smaller boat there to catch it’s fall. The bag lands with a loud thump, but the small rowboat stays afloat. Sehun climbs onto the other side of the railing without hesitating, and lowers himself down to the boat by the thick rope that Jongdae must have tied there at some point when you were inside. The ship is high though, and the waves suddenly don’t look nearly as calming as they once did.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Sehun says, “you can do it!” You climb onto the other side of the railing with shallow breaths, and start lowering yourself down the rope by clenching it in between your legs. It gives you some nasty rope burns. Before you can side down any further, your hands lose strength and slip. You fall the rest of the way, landing onto the side of the boat and almost flipping it. “By Idite’s name,” Sehun brings out, helping you into the boat properly. Your feet are wet and your hip hurts a lot, but apart from that you’re fine, and the boat luckily is intact. Now you just stare up at the edge of the ship and wait for Jongdae’s face to appear. It doesn’t, not for a long while, to the point where you both attempt to pull yourself back up to check for him, but to no avail.

Luckily, after another minute or so, he finally appears to look over the side of the ship, and climbs down with his sword still in hand. He lands easily, but stares guiltily to the ship as the small boat bobs with the motion of the waves. “We don’t have to leave, Jongdae,” you quickly say, feeling equally guilty. “I can hide, or fight!”

“No,” he says though, putting the sword down and grabbing the paddles, as Sehun grabs the second pair. “The fact that you think that just means that we have to leave. The Captain knows what she’s doing. She’ll meet us in Caryon, by tomorrow. Sit tight, Princess.” So you do as told, and sit down. But the entire time the boys row away from the atrocity that just happened, your eyes stay on the ship. You can’t see anyone on deck anymore. You don’t dare to ask if that’s a good sign, or a bad one.

You’ve been swaying with the stubborn movement of the waves for at least an hour now, staring into the distance where the ship has vanished into the fog for ages already. It’s getting later and later, and the ocean is getting exponentially dark as time goes on. Not much more now, and you’ll be surrounded entirely by darkness. The idea that that can happen is terrifying. Aking is never entirely dark, even at night. However, that seems like the lesser of your many problems. Jongdae peers to the front intently, on his knees and looking for something, though you don’t know what. Sehun seems to have taken it onto himself to count your items, most likely to fight away the silence. He doesn’t do well in complete silence, it lets his thoughts run entirely free and in situations like this, he’s never the best at staying calm.

After a while, you get more anxious by all the things and Sehun’s twitching, and turn around in the boat to watch Jongdae instead. He glances behind to catch your eye, and smiles a bit. His face is still not entirely clean of the blood, but he did his best to wipe most of it away, or at least you think he did. It’s hard to tell in the slumber of nightfall. As if sensing your total and complete loss at the situation, he cocks his head to the front. “The waves are too strong for a rowboat of this size. We’d just be burning energy and staying in place, trying to head for the main island.” That makes sense. A while ago, he told Sehun to stop rowing after all. You offered to take his place, but it would have been no use, he’d said.

“So where are we going now then?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” he nods, glancing at the stars and then at the map again. You don’t know how much use a map is when you don’t have a single thing to base your position off though, just water. Jongdae doesn’t seem scared by the ocean even in a situation like this, you admire that in him. “If we have a little bit of luck on our side, we’re still heading in the right direction. And with even a bit more of said luck, we’re coming up to land any second now.” He peers out into the distance again, fingers curled tight around the paper in hand. Sehun stops his mindless counting to join in your staring. It’s hard to see because of the fog. But sure enough, very faintly, like a small curve sticking out above the horizon, you see something that you just hope is land.

“Is that it, you think?” Sehun asks, a hopeful tone in his voice.

“It can’t be anything else,” the sailor confirms, which settles your nerves. Your heart still feels heavy though. At least you’ll be reunited with the Captain and her fleet. You worry about the crew, about Cato and all the other innocent people who might have gotten hurt in the attack. How didn’t you know about this? The Captain and Jongdae did, which means that it’s happened before. How many innocent people have been attacked by pirates to get rich folk some foreign fabrics? The possibility that your parents don’t know of this is scary, but it’s even scarier to think they do. That just means they don’t care. That’s not an issue for right now though, you decide.

“Is Caryon far from the beach?” you settle on asking, “how will we get there?”

But Jongdae makes a slight noise of disagreement, before looking back at you. “This isn’t the main island, your Highness. We’re still a few hours out of reach on this little boat.” He frowns, and shakes his head. “No, this is one of the smaller islands, one we normally choose not to stop at. It is not a place you wish to stay when you work for the Royal fleet. Ayusoshil.”

You sigh, and lean forward a little, grasping the sides of the boat. “What does that mean?”

“Thief’s Bay.” Jongdae doesn’t look away from the slight bump raised above the water as he talks. Sure enough, it already seems closer than it was before. 

“Charming name,” you bring out, which makes him snort.

“Very.” When you wait with shallow breaths to get even closer, you swear you can see a tiny light through the fog. It’s faint, but unmoving, and at least it’s something to base your position on. “Let’s row now,” he says, turning to face you in the boat, “we’re close.” Sehun nods and takes a hold back on the paddles, dropping your stuff back into the big bag that lays useless at the bottom of the boat. You can hear the waves raging in the distance, washing up against the islands like a vicious attack.

    🌊🌊🌊    

The wind is cold against your skin, biting at the exposed parts of your body with razor sharp teeth, and though Sehun shelters the most of it by walking behind you, you feel weak. The sand hurts when it hits your face too. But Jongdae walks with a reasonable pace, and an optimistic attitude. The grass is long and wet, wrapping around your ankles as you scale the hill. The light you had seen from afar had been but a mirage, but Jongdae is sure that people actually live here, and that you should be coming up on them soon. The silence is broken by the sound of a bird in the distance. When you make it to the top of the hill you’re truly exhausted from the events of the day. “I told you!” the quartermaster sighs, relief brushing his features ever so softly.

Jongdae helps you up the last step and makes way for Sehun, before pointing towards the valley that spreads out in front of your eyes. Many torches burn in the darkness, flames fighting to stay ignited against the damp air. They reveal a few houses, with one large one in the center of the town, and lights that lead a path to the other side of the island, where you guess the ships are docked. “Oh, good Gods!” Sehun whispers, “I didn’t want to say it but I was worried we’d never arrive. I’m so tired, a good warm drink and I’ll be ready to go to bed.”

Jongdae stares for a while, before slowly walking down the hill, with the two of you following behind. “I don’t know if there’s an inn we can stay at, Sehun. I don’t even know if there’s anyone here who can help us. But it’s worth a try, at least.” He walks in front of you two by a few steps, and nods. “Let’s just be careful, though. And your Highness, if anyone asks,” he swallows then, eyes too serious as they regard you, “you are not a Princess starting from now, alright?” Though you don’t understand why, you nod. It seems to be really important to him.

When you finally arrive at the town, the bottom of your dress is colored a dark pink because of the wet grass. The streets are abandoned because of the nasty weather, you guess, partly wishful thinking. The main building you spotted from a distance looks old and worn, the wooden front colorless and bulging because of the elements, with yellow stained windows that are fogged up by the cold night air. “Here’s the plan,” Jongdae says, slowing his steps underneath the overhang of one of the much smaller buildings. They looked like houses from a distance, but it seems more like an abandoned storage house when you look at it now.

“The people that come here aren’t those favored by the nation. Some are probably criminals, some are most likely fugitives or other lot of that sort. And I can’t enter there without being denied immediately or worse,” he admits, “I should have brought some neutral clothing but — we were kind of in a rush to leave. It’s also not a good idea to enter there with your money on you, unless you want to be robbed the second you set foot in that place. So Sehun will stay here and hide behind this house with our things, and I’ll stand guard out here.” The wind whistles through the cracks of the building.

Sehun drops the bag to the floor for a second then, and raises his eyebrows. “All right, but then who will go inside to ask for help?” It stays silent for a while, before Jongdae’s gaze slides over to you. Sehun immediately shakes his head though. “No, no way. You can’t make the Princess of the Capital enter into a rat’s nest like that! What if something happens? She can stay hidden behind the building instead of me.”

“Sehun,” Jongdae frowns, “with all due respect, she can’t fight. You’re a guard, you have at least some fighting training. If we lose the money to thieves, we’re as good as dead. Then we’re never leaving here, and we wouldn’t have any reason for them to not kill us on the spot.” He sighs, and turns to you. His clothes are still entirely stained with blood. It would be best if he didn’t enter, you reason. He’s right, if he were to enter he’d immediately give away in how much trouble you really are. “You’ll have to do it, your Highness. I’m sorry.” Sehun opens his mouth to cut in again, but you place a hand on his arm.

“It’s fine, Master Sehun. I can do this.” You look to the floor then, and at the one bag full of everything you own. “I can do this,” you nod to yourself, before motioning to the biggest building. “I’ll try to hurry. Stay safe out here, please.”

“You too,” your friend says, frown still digging into his features in worry.

When you walk to the door by yourself, the night seems entirely quiet. Even the wind has ceased to reach this far down the valley, instead making way for a void where only the ocean is audible. You’re so used to the sound of it you almost don’t notice it anymore. The door is thick, and heavy-looking, like a piece of driftwood that was merely attached here out of ease. When you look behind again, the two guys have already moved to hide behind the building, so you take a deep breath to calm yourself, and then push hard against the door with your shoulder. The loud buzz of the room quiets when you enter, and tens of eyes turn in your direction. The men here look unfriendly to say the least. With unshaven faces, scarred arms, and sunken eyes. They seem to gleam at your arrival, but you will yourself to be brave.

The door falls shut with a loud sigh of the wood, bending under the pressure. “Does anyone here have a ship?” you ask, looking around the room and briefly at the fire that burns wildly in the fireplace. It stays silent for a while, so you sigh, and bite your lip. “Or does anyone here have a ship, who can speak Home Tongue?” Your reading ability might be pretty great, but you’re far less equipped to speak a language you’ve never even heard before. Some men talk among each other when again no one responds. Then, with the sound of metal being dropped and some ruffling, the group of men to your right move apart to reveal one of the few tables of the place, and the person sitting at it.

“I do,” he says, voice deep and full, with a slight bit of raspiness. When his eyes move from the grain of the table to meet yours, you pause to take a deep breath, and link your hands behind your back. The man seems to radiate cold from every fiber of his body, bringing a baring panic that is laced into the color of him. Though his skin tone is far from pale, it seems icy, just like the slight curl of his lips. His eyes are dark and piercing, though he’s dressed entirely in white. The many piercings that he has are delicate, and his posture casual. But maybe the most peculiar part is his hair, since it’s so much shorter than you’ve ever seen anyone wear. It is not only weird to cut your hair in your culture, it’s almost like you’re cursing at the Gods directly. “Well?” he asks, sounding bored.

“Good,” you just respond, taking a few steps closer to him. His men come to stand behind you, closing off the entrance with their bodies. You feel entirely uncomfortable turning your back to them, but you don’t really have a choice. “Me and some friends were on a fishing trip, but it seems a storm snuck up on us and we got stranded here. We would really like to get back to Caryon by tomorrow, or people will start to worry.” You pause for a second to check his reaction. But the man barely moves, just blinking a little. “I can pay you.”

“Can you, now?” he responds, straightening up in his chair. He rests his hands on the table for a bit, before toying with the glass on the table. “So a storm caught you off guard, and now you need to get out of here?” he repeats, not looking at you while he speaks. It doesn’t look like he’s looking at anything really, rather staring through the creaky, old planks of the floor into nothing.

You squeeze your own hand out of nerves and ignore the breathing of the men behind you, too close for comfort. “Yes, Sir.”

He smiles. Wide and mischievous, it curls on his lips into a heart, making him look younger than you expect him to be. It’s a pretty smile. But despite that, it sends a shiver down your spine. Smoothly, he leans back in his chair, and props his feet up on the table. Polite. His eyes find yours for just a few seconds from under long lashes, before flicking away at his surroundings. “I’ve never seen fishers before with clothes like that. Very pretty.” It’s like he doesn’t even want to look at you, like you couldn’t pose a threat if you tried. Your gaze hasn’t left his shape once for the opposite reason. He seems volatile, flammable and if you’ve learned anything of people like this, it’s to keep close watch on them.

When he gestures vaguely in your direction, you actively have to break that rule to look down at yourself. Your corset is bedazzled all over with small, shiny crystals that shimmer in the light of the fire, with thin threads and exquisite craftsmanship. Even the dumbest of people would be able to tell it to be of value, but you take solace in the fact that there are plenty of families rich enough to afford things like this. He wouldn’t be able to track you back to the royal house with just this. “You seem like a smart girl,” he sighs, with a nonchalance and a slight tick of his jaw. The rest of his crew keep their eyes on you, increasing levels of curiosity. “How about you tell us your name, huh?”

He takes clear pleasure in the doubt you express, dark eyes gleaming with the gold light of an inferno. Like a lion, exchanging glances with his prey. As if he’s asking to be dared, wants to have a reason to light up this room and tie you to the floor with it. You’re determined not to let him though. With a small nod, you take another step forward, and place your hands on the table. “It’s Clem,” you say, voice sturdy as much as you can get it in a situation like this. You only straighten up when he looks at you again, sighing deeply. “Now, can you help us or not, Captain?”

He lifts a brow and grins again, looking over at his crew. “You seem very sure about your chances here, little girl. I assure you that I’m not normally very kind to strangers who impede on my territory, though.” He stands up from his chair then, leaning forward on the table like you had seconds before, and bringing his sword up from his belt to have the blade rest against your throat. It’s perfectly sharp, dragging lines into your soft skin every time you shake. Both from the cold and the nerves. “You have some guts to come in here all alone and demand something from me so confidently.” The breath you take is shaky against the cold metal, but you clench your teeth and do your best to fight through.

“Not confident, just desperate,” you gasp.

He now pauses, expression freezing over within seconds. Then, slowly, he drags the tip of the sword down your throat and leaves it to press under your collarbones, thin skin almost revealing blood. “Then what makes you think that I won’t kill you here, right now, and find your little friends after that. It seems to me a lot more profitable to just get rid of you all together, and still take your silver for myself.” Some of the men chuckle at that, like threatening a person is a normal part of their routine.

“You won’t,” you breathe. This seems to amuse him greatly.

“Want to bet your head on that, rich girl?”

Despite the blazing fire in the room, your body is cold, and your muscles weak. You might as well. “You won’t kill me, because if you wanted to do that, you would’ve by now.” His eyebrow twitches a little at your voice, sword becoming increasingly painful on your skin. “Now, I might not know much about you or anyone in this room, but I bet you’re all here for the same reason. You believe in rules that the world doesn’t adhere to, and you think that you can do better on your own, out here in the middle of nowhere. I believe in that too.” The room feels thick with the eyes that are aimed at you like throwing swords at your head, but you don’t dare stop. At least, as long as you’re talking he doesn’t get the chance to scare you out of it. “But if you truly feel that way and you’re willing to die for it, then don’t play around like unknowing, little children. Prove that you are better than what you’re running away from.” A long, tense pause. You don’t think anyone breathes, because the room is entirely dead quiet.

In one smooth move, the sword is away from your skin, and slid back into his belt. His heavy gaze stays on yours for a second longer, before he makes his way through the men and to the door with weighted steps. “The smart mouth can live, for right now,” he brings out, taking the white jacket that matches his other clothes and draping it over his shoulders. “Baekhyun, bring her and her foundlings to the beach in a bit. The rest of you, go man our godforsaken ship before the wind changes again.” When the door is pulled open, it carries in waves of cold, and the howling of the wind through the frame. He turns over his shoulder once to give you a one over, and tuts. “Oh, and if she opens her little trap again, you kill ‘em where they stand. Understood?”

“Ay ay, Captain,” it sounds from across the room, almost sung with amusement. The idea of talking so casually about death makes you sick to your stomach. It’s like none of them have seen death before, like they don’t believe in the concept of it. But before you can say anything else, or want to, he leaves the house and disappears into the dark night, taking most of the men with him. You stare until the door slams shut with a lot of noise, before letting out a deep breath. The place where his sword was pressed is painful when you brush your fingers over it. “So what have we here,” the same voice sounds from behind you, slipping around you too fast to keep up. When you look over your shoulder, he’s already in front of you, and turns your face to meet his with a hold on your jaw. “What a curious little fish who washed up on our beach,” he grins.

“I didn’t wash up on your beach, I washed up on the other side of the island,” you bring out, pulling your face from his hold and frowning at him. The man in front of you also has relatively short hair for a citizen of any city, with smiley features and a bright grin. He’s beautiful as well, eerily so, with silvery eyes that glint with glee. He seems to light up at your attitude, and brings his face uncomfortably close to yours while he inspects you.

“I should really stab you for that,” he brings out, voice playful, “but I quite like a bit of bite in my ladies. So you’re free to do so, for as long as I’m around. Isn’t that kind?” His back is turned to you but his gaze is over his shoulder at you, as he holds his sword in his hands behind his back. You just glare at him and don’t respond, which makes him laugh. One of the men who didn’t go with the Captain pours a bucket of sand onto the fire, effectively putting it out. The other, Baekhyun you guess, tosses him a piece of silver, and then glances back at you. 

When he notices your gaze on him, his smile grows. “So, let me guess about you, little fish. I think you’re the second daughter of some sort of high ranked citizen in the Capital who sent you out, right? Your storm story is complete garbage, there were no storms anywhere near here. So the people who are with you are most likely a brother, cousin or friend who was sent with you for support, and the person who was supposed to ferry you over, right? You’re one of those librarians they sent every once in a while, right, one of those girls?” You again, don’t respond, but he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. “I always wondered why they only send girls. My guess is they offer one to the gods every few months.” He smiles as he places the point of his sword against your lower back. “Guess you’ll find out, huh. Now walk, unless you want to get skewered.”

You walk to the door under his tight surveillance, and pull it open with both hands, goosebumps covering your every inch in the cold night air. Baekhyun hums a melody as he walks behind you, steering you towards the dirt road and out of the light that peeks through the small windows of the inn. “So what are you,” you start, staring out into the night to see of any sign that might reveal your friends, “you’re pirates, right?” Baekhyun doesn’t really respond for a bit, so you slowly start moving into the direction you came from, and wait for a sign. But as you think that, a doubt makes it’s way through you. Jongdae is still in his same uniform, unmistakably an ally of the Capital and if these men find that out, things don’t look good for his safety. You stop in the middle of the road as you think, suddenly unsure about this whole idea. You’ve got a sword pressed to your back, for the Gods’ sake. 

“I guess that’s what they call us, yes,” he admits, halting when you do. You can feel his statue behind you, unwavering. What now?

“But you’re not?”

This makes him laugh, a bright, chilling sound in the silence of the abandoned island that sounds much too genuine. “Oh no, we definitely are. It just doesn’t sound very nice, does it? ‘Pirates’, like we’re out to hurt every single person in the whole wide world, murder in cold blood. Thief would be kinder, I think.” You can’t help but wonder how sane this man truly is, if he thinks being called a thief would be any better. In old tales, thieves end up with their heads being bitten off in the night. When you still don’t move, Baekhyun presses harder against the sword, urging you forward. “What are you waiting for, little fish? If you want your request fulfilled, you’ll have to move and get your friends.”

“How can I trust that you won’t kill us and take our money?” you bring out, gathering some of your dress in your both hands to step into the long grass.

“You can’t.” Baekhyun sighs deeply, and then hums again, the same tune. After a second of walking, you pause, and turn to face him. “What?” he blinks, staring at you with a teasing look. His eyes are lined with a black that makes them seem sunken in, and almost impossible to read in the darkness. This of course, is true. But you can’t help but feel that if they were planning on killing you, they would’ve done so by now, and twice over. You just hope this man is loyal enough to his Captain to follow the order of bringing you to the ship, alive. You don’t have another choice, or the Royal fleet will leave without you.

You take in a deep breath, and hold back a frown as best as you can. Here goes nothing. “I was going the wrong way, the sword held to my spine must’ve confused me.” At the raise of his eyebrows, you breathe out. “I’m sorry, it’s that way instead.” Baekhyun tilts his head to the side, before shrugging and lowering his sword entirely, a small grin crawling up to his lips, triumphant. He cocks his head to motion you to lead the way again, hands settling around his belt. The casual way in which he does it only seems to prove again that he doesn’t consider you a threat. So either he’s dumb and cocky, or he genuinely has no reason to be worried. You don’t really know which you’d prefer.

You speed your steps a bit as you return in the way you just walked, and towards the house you left your friends at. Baekhyun trails behind leisurely, the gravel crunching under his feet with each step. As you peek around the back of the house, relief fills your body. Sehun is pressed to the wall of the building, his eyes wide as he stares at your sudden appearance. Jongdae lowers his sword and smiles at you, as you let out a breath. “You’re not dead,” Sehun cleverly says, which makes you laugh.

You nod, and let your dress fall back to it’s normal length, smoothing it out with small movements. “Good news, I found us a way to Caryon. Uhm, bad news—” you say, falling silent when Baekhyun shows up beside you, face lit up with curiosity.

“Hi there.” He looks the two men up and down, before huffing a little and putting out his hand toward the sword in the other’s hand. “I’ll take that.” The frown on Jongdae’s face is clear, but he agrees with the man almost instantly. He too seems to know that in this state, he’d lose a duel, even if you have the majority here. “You look to be in seriously bad shape,” he nods in the quartermaster’s direction, taking in the blood stains and the intricate stitchings of the shirt, “and from a much more prestigious ship than a small fisher boat.” A big grin comes to kiss his lips. “You know, you’re a really bad liar,” he says, turning back to you. Jongdae’s sword is slid into his belt, as he motions his own at the three of you to guide you toward the beach. “I guess you’re lucky I worship the Goddess Manto. We’re big enthusiasts of any form of drama, you know.”

“So I’ve heard,” you bring out, as you grab Sehun’s arm and trail behind the pirate, who walks backwards toward the beach. Many of the royal palace worship that same goddess, and you are sure to know that they most definitely enjoy a good bit of conflict and theater. The walk down the narrow path happens mostly in silence, with the humming of the leading man carrying through the emptiness of the valley. The island isn’t that big, it seems, because you reach the beach sooner than expected. “I’m sorry to say,” you suddenly begin, hesitating for a second when Jongdae catches your eyes, “but you seem quite casual for a pirate.”

Baekhyun laughs, ringing loud as he walks, and turns back to look at you. “How so?”

“I was under the assumption that pirates were more… ruthless, maybe.” You smile a little when Sehun squeezes your arm under his.

“Would you like me to be?” the raven-haired pirate asks, raising his eyebrows. When you shake your head ‘no’, he smiles. “We are when we need to be, I think. Captain definitely is not one for small talk like I am, I guess you would find him ‘ruthless’ more so then me, in the simple sense of the word. But he doesn’t enjoy suffering as much as I do, either.” When he faces you this time, it’s with a smile that you can only describe as dangerous, one of a person needing desperately to play games. “I like seeing a body curl into unnatural shapes with pain,” he admits. You quiet when he doesn’t say more, and look away from the pirate to glance at the busy back and forth of the indistinguishable shapes near the water edge.

The ship is about as big as you think the May Terror was, though hard to tell from this far away. People are loading large boxes up into it. As you get close enough, you can see the ship in it’s full glory. Though it doesn’t have the same glamour as the royal fleet did, there’s a definite air that surrounds it. Like the ship allows only awe to be pulled from you. The ship is made of dark wood that has grayed in the sun, and giant, white sails. Baekhyun grins as he comes to a stop, poking Jongdae with his sword. “Up, up, my seafaring friend. We’ll have to get you onto the ship without the Captain seeing, after all.”

“Why are you helping us if you’re so against the Capital?” you bring out at that, glaring when he jabs Jongdae between the shoulder blades.

“Well, because I really want to see this thing play out. Long journeys can be so terribly boring when we don’t have captives or any form of entertainment. The rest of them,” motioning at the men that walk around on deck above you, “are just following orders. And the Captain— just hope that he doesn’t find out before we load you off again. Maybe you’ll be able to run off as soon as we board, and just survive it.” With a smile he pushes Jongdae toward the plank, then Sehun and lastly you. As you walk up it, Baekhyun follows close behind, sliding his sword away. “You know… a kiss might make me consider trying harder to keep your secret from coming out, little fish.”

You turn over your shoulder to catch his smug grin, as you send him your hardest death glare. “Don’t dream of it, you sneaky, stealing— lowlife.”

“Ouch,” he pouts, “you wound me. Truly.” When you arrive on the deck, people are too busy manning the ship to really pay attention to you, though some eyes follow your group to the back of the ship. They walk around with candles and lanterns, giving just enough light to keep you from running into things. Baekhyun takes one of the candles and tosses open a door nearing the back of the cabin. “Down into there,” he points, to the dark hole that the door opens into. The ladder down is rickety, creaking under Sehun’s feet as he descends. 

You follow, wanting to get away from Baekhyun though not daring to remove your eyes from him. You quickly think of the Captain, and what he might do if he finds out that Jongdae is who he is, or worse, who you are. But then the last of your trio descends and Baekhyun is leading you around in the belly of the ship, past food stocks and even past the beds of crew until you reach a little corner. There’s a small space left there, with ropes and barrels taking up most of the space. “Here we are,” Baekhyun nods, squishing you in one by one, “pleasure having you on board, and thank you for sailing the world’s grandest pirate ship. I do have to tie you up now. Don’t want you getting any ideas, of course. Oh!” He suddenly exclaims, dramatic as ever, “and I need our money.”

You pause for a bit to think, locking eyes with Jongdae and Sehun before nodding. “Alright. We’re paying you half now, and the other half when we arrive in Caryon, safe and unharmed.” When Baekhyun giggles, you swallow, and cross your arms over your chest. “I think that’s only fair, considering our situation. And I’m staying untied, also.” The black haired man cocks his head to the side with a smirk, before looking behind him and back.

“If that makes you feel any better, sure.”

Before you have to ask, Sehun reaches into the bag without taking his eyes off of the pirate, and takes a handful pieces of silver to hand him. “You can try to cheat us or steal from us before we arrive,” he mumbles, “but this is all we have. You’ll be disappointed by your win if you do.” You nod along, watching Baekhyun as he slides the money into his pocket with a smooth move. Now just to hope that he doesn’t take it all for himself. Jongdae seems to be strangely quiet, leaning against the wall with a frown on his handsome visage. Maybe he’s thinking the same you are. A pirate isn’t to be trusted.

“Alright, pretty boy, quiet down. If I wanted to steal from you, you wouldn’t have that bag anymore, or your hands, alright? I won’t keep being as civil as I’ve been if you keep accusing me.” True to his word, he ties each of your arms behind your backs, leaving one of your hands untied. You are all tied to the barrels then, as Baekhyun gives you a small bow. His grin has yet to leave his face, and you can’t help but think that this is his normal expression. With his free hand he gives you a little wave, walking back in the direction of the ladder. “Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the rats bite. I’ll see you all in the morning. Or before that, who knows.” With a loud laugh, he climbs back up to the deck, slamming the door shut. It falls into lock with a grinding, metal noise. Most likely a lock of sorts.

When the silence comes for the first time since maybe an hour ago, you slide down the side of the barrel to sit on the floor, grabbing at the bag near your feet. Sehun and Jongdae are already seated, their hands tied tight behind their backs. Poor them. You guess he didn’t feel the need to tie you up because he thinks you can’t fight, and sadly, he’s right in that assumption. Instead of dancing or singing, they should have given you fencing lessons, at least you’d be able to make yourself useful now. “I’ve just doomed all of us, haven’t I,” you breathe, looking at the both of them. Your eyes are still adjusting since Baekhyun left you behind in total darkness.

Sehun opens his mouth to answer, but settles on squeezing your arm softly instead, and rests into you a bit. It must be terrifying to him too, though he doesn’t admit it. Jongdae stays quiet for a long while, like he’s trying to sort through all his thoughts, before finally sighing deeply. “No, you did well. I’ve dealt with pirates before and I was hardly as helpful as you were. I mean, we’re tied up, but on our way to Caryon at the very least. That’s more than we had an hour ago.” Count on him to be full of optimism even in the dark, dim depths of a pirate ship.

“Jongdae?” you call again, waiting for his small hum, “what happens to you if they find out that you’re part of the royal fleet? What if Baekhyun lied, and he’s tells the Captain at this very moment or at any point during the trip? I don’t trust him.” Sehun seems troubled by this thought too. You don’t want anything to happen to him. He saved you before, and even if he didn’t, you’d want him to be okay more than anything.

A tiny smile comes to his lips, but you can tell it’s not very genuine, or self-assured. “I don’t know, Princess. Let’s just hope they don’t find out before we arrive.” When silence falls, every crack of the wood or whisper of the wind sounds loud, and you have a hard time letting go of thoughts. Despite this, the call of sleep catches up to you after a while. In the cold belly of the ship you sleep, resting against Sehun’s shoulder as you sink into a dreamless night.

     🌊🌊🌊     

You’re awoken by the sound of many feet on the deck above, and the faint sigh of the heavy door being pushed open. Cold, salty air blows down into the belly of the ship and fills your lungs, a much needed breath of fresh air. Sehun is already awake when you glance over at him with heavy lids, Jongdae awakening from slumber much like you. “They are coming down,” Sehun mumbles, and he’s right. Heavy boots stomp down the ladder, past the load of food and past the beds. They are coming for you guys.

“We can’t have arrived this soon already,” Jongdae mumbles, which makes your heart sink to your toes. If they’re not here to get you off their ship, then why are they?

Two men drag you up by your tied arms before you can say anything to your friends, yanking you through the rooms under loud mumbling from the other crew, as you struggle to stay upright. They don’t even allow you to climb up yourself entirely, instead dragging you up by your shoulders the last bit. You’re led to the middle of the deck, and pushed down onto your knees without a second thought, with Sehun and Jongdae following the same path. Sehun is dumped down with a harsh shove that sends him on his side, and winces when he lands onto his shoulder. You do your best to help him up with your tied hands, looking around. The waves are wild today, ship anchored in the middle of nowhere. Though the sun is out, the weather is chilly, leaving you with the hairs on your body raised.

Feet click on the wood, shoes decorated with metal that gleams in the first light of the morning. The person halts in front of you three, barely acknowledging you as humans in their own right. Dust blows into your face, but you don’t look away. The man of last night sighs with the same stone cold attitude he carried then, before squatting down and taking a hold of Sehun’s face to yank it up into view. When his stained fingers grab at your friend you clench your teeth, but hold your tongue. Now’s not the time to talk back, you know this. His dark eyes flick to yours for just a second, before he surveys the young man. After a little while, all under the judging eyes of the crew, he moves away from your friend to do the same with Jongdae.

“Tell me,” he clicks his tongue, before looking between all three of you again, “where’s the rest of your men and women?” He trails his finger over the colorful emblem on Jongdae’s shoulder as he waits, but none of you answer. Only the wind can be heard over the rushing of the ocean waves. The small emblem is that of your family, your home so far away by now, it’s yellow and blue clearly recognizable. You don’t know how they found out, but you can only guess that someone talked to the Captain. But as you look around, you don’t see Baekhyun under the men. “Is my question unclear to you?” the man in white breathes, glancing at you with a fire in his eyes, like that of the burning sun.

You curl your legs to the side to push yourself from the wood, and glare back at him. But before you can say much of anything, Jongdae pushes himself up from the deck as sits on his knees, hands still hung uncomfortably behind him. His brow buries deep into his visage, the frown proof of his fighting spirit. “What men and women do you speak of, Sir, that we are supposed to know the location of?” Before he’s able to say any more, the Captain’s leather boot connects with his face. Jongdae collapses back against the deck, head hitting with a sharp thud. He winces, blood dripping on the floor.

You stare at the scene in horror, heart dropping all the way down to toes. “Do I look like I am wanting to play games?” the Captain asks, taking out his sword to twist it in the light of the sun. The sharp metal glints playfully in the beams of morning color. Jongdae just groans, and rolls onto his back, hands trapped under his body. His nose is bleeding, and bottom lip busted because of the impact, face paled. When no one responds, the man standing above you all clicks his tongue in disapproval, and lifts Sehun’s chin with the edge of his sword. The point makes a mark under his jaw, blood dripping down his neck. He trembles, catching your eyes for a flash before looking back at the Captain. And you see the fear in his eyes.

He didn’t want this, Jongdae didn’t want this. Only you did, and look at you now. The dark, cold eyes stay aimed at your best friend’s face for a while. “Tell me. Or I’ll cut into his pretty face over and over and over, until you can’t look at him anymore without feeling terror. Same goes for that capital scum.” Though the Captain doesn’t look at you, you feel the weight of the question on you. Your lip wobbles without your control, so you pull it between your teeth to keep it at bay.

“I don’t know where —” Another sharp kick to Jongdae’s face, this time connecting with his cheekbone so hard you think you hear it crunch. Jongdae’s head falls to the side, eyes flickering with pain and you can’t hold the tears that well up. “I’m sorry, I’m trying!” you yell at the standing man, and glare at him from under your lashes. His eyes are just as cold, though now they are unflinching on yours. His full lips open to let out a sigh, as he places the sole of his shoe on Jongdae’s face. “Just stop! Stop hurting him, he has nothing to do with this,” you repeat. Sehun’s eyes bore into the side of your head when the sword comes to press into your cheek instead, but you don’t look away. Can��t look away.

“I’ll ask one more time.” His deep voice unwavering, filled with a hatred that you can barely comprehend. How can a person have so much darkness inside them towards someone they don’t know? “Why are you traveling with this rat,” he motions toward Jongdae, “and what are you doing on my fucking ship?”

The sword presses hard enough to slice open the skin of your cheek, sharply burning like a fire. You breathe in deeply, and do your best to silence the cries that well up in his throat. But before you can muster up the courage to answer him, Jongdae huffs out a strained laugh. “Don’t.” His soft eyes glide over to you, and despite the blood and blooming bruises that mark his face, he doesn’t look scared. “Let him rot in his doubt.” Everyone quiets. Where before there were soft whispers running between the crew, now there’s a thick void. You look back up to the man dressed in white, taking in his quiet form. In those cold, dark eyes brews a storm that would terrify every mortal soul.

Then, ever so slowly, a smile starts creeping up to his lips, as he meets your eyes again. “Have you ever held a sword before, little girl?” A shiver runs between your shoulder blades at the softness of his voice. Tender almost, like he’s talking to a loved one. You shake your head into a minuscule ‘no’. “A sword is an honorable weapon. It kills quick. When on sea, there’s much more horrible deaths. Starving. Disease. Drowning.” He kneels gently before you, and looks only at you with that same smile that would bring comfort in any other situation. 

Right now, it looks like death itself. “I almost drowned, once. You can’t do anything but sink, holding your breath as long as you can. Longer than you ever have, until you feel like your head is going to burst. You can’t help but hold out until every single part of you quakes in pain. Your head bursting from the pressure. It’s agony. And then, when everything starts to fade, when you can’t hold out anymore, you open your mouth anyway. And it feels like hell. Filling your lungs to the brim, as you choke to death. It’s the longest, most painful death you can imagine.”

Your lips are still shaking. For the second it lasts, he seems truthful, entirely. A deep, suffocating sadness that is pulled from the deepest part of his soul, making it’s way onto his features. And it touches you, despite your anger and your fear. “That’s horrible,” you breathe. Because it is. The Captain nods, staring at you for a beat longer, and then he gets back up to his full height. Towering above you from where you sit motionless on the cold, hard floor. His voice is equally soft as he speaks again. 

“Throw the rat overboard.”

A darkness overtakes you at those words, dread bubbling up from deep inside. You flinch when the crew grabs hold of Jongdae by his arms, and glance between the three men in rapid succession. Blaring fear for the new friend who only wanted to help. The Captain doesn’t move a muscle when you look at him. The quartermaster now looks scared more than you’ve ever seen him, jerking in their hold as they drag his towards the edge. He fights with all his might, but to no avail, ignoring his words. They lift him over the wooden railing, and— “Stop!” you scream, “take me instead!” Your free hand wraps around the Captain’s ankle, grabbing his attention whether he wants it or not. The crew waits, Jongdae dangling halfway over. “It’s me you want, believe me. Throw me overboard instead. Please. I’m begging you.”

Finally, a sliver of emotion crosses his face, a frown pulling his eyebrows close together. “Did you not hear what I said? That right there is the most painful death you can imagine.”

“I heard you,” you say, letting go of his leg now to wipe your hand under your eyes, glancing over your shoulder at the bloodied face of Jongdae. He looks about ready to pass out from the stress and pain that he’s been put through. So you pull up your nose, and rub your eyes with the back of your hand again, staring into the Captain’s face. “And it sounds terrifying. But I don’t want anyone else to hurt because of me.” Sehun makes a noise of disagreement, but a hand comes over his mouth to shut him up, much to his displeasure. “You want Jongdae because he is of the Royal fleet, right? But I’m the Royal blood that fleet was carrying,” you admit. Sehun’s shoulders sag.

In one smooth motion, you’re pushed backward against the deck, sword back at your neck. The Captain’s eyes glint with anger, jaw tight as he looks you straight in the eye, your cheeks still red and burning up. This is the most emotion you’ve seen cross his face yet, anger dripping from him like tar. “What are you doing on a ship?!” he grunts, teeth clenched so hard they might shatter.

You smile pitifully, the open wound on your cheek pulling with the motion. “I wanted to see the world. Just once.” The wind whistles as it blows between the creaks in the wood, ocean waves slamming against the belly of the ship again and again, as you wait. Your breathing unsteady, heart slamming painfully hard against your rib cage. The metal gleams a pretty shade of orange under the rising sun, that you choose to watch instead of looking at the man above you.

After what feels like forever, the silence is finally broken. From the back of the group of men, a voice sounds out, strangely familiar. “They’d probably pay a nice sum if we bring her back unharmed, Captain.” Baekhyun moves from between the taller, burly men to reveal his sharp face, a slight smile on his lips as he catches the recognition on your face. His raven hair is damp, curling slightly as it falls over his eyes. His steps are smooth as he walks closer, not disturbed in the slightest by the hostile posture his Captain carries. His sword is still pressed to your neck. “I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather have her weight in silver than another stain to clean, Kyungsoo.” His grin only widens as he reaches forward, hand wrapping around the blade and slowly dragging it away from you.

“You dare push me too far, Baekhyun. I’m your Captain.” The man in white only sighs, before straightening and letting the sword drop from his hands into the other man’s, not acknowledging you in the slightest.

“Aye, but you’re also my best friend. So with all due respect, Captain,” the man grins so wide at the word that you barely believe he means it at all, “let me play devil’s advocate for once. If we bring this little fish to Caryon unscathed, we’ll be richer than we are now, and isn’t that what you told me pirates do? Rob the rich, give to the poor, more of that inspirational nonsense.” He squeezes his friend’s shoulder, the other already turning his back on you and walking between the crew, who plop Jongdae back down on the deck. 

“I’m the murderous, crazy one of us two. You’re the smart one.” The Captain, Kyungsoo, shakes his head at his friend’s antics, but clearly the words hit home in some way. When you let out a relieved sigh, Baekhyun grins down at you and pulls you back up to a seated position. Kyungsoo waves his hand dismissively, telling his men something that makes them spread out, as the dark haired one in front of you calls after him. “If they don’t give us a high enough price, you can still get your revenge! Drown her in a bathtub for all I care.” You’re not sure if he means it or not. It doesn’t matter, relief fills you all the same.

“Get back to work, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo responds, before disappearing into the cabin.

Baekhyun’s eyes glide from you, to Sehun, to Jongdae, all three of you slumped onto the deck from the stress. With two fingers, he brushes a loose strand away from your face. “There, there.” He stays squatted in front of you for a bit too long, staring down at you with those same gleeful, flickering eyes, like he doesn’t see the absolute terror you just went through as a bad thing. But still, he takes the flask of water you didn’t know he had, wetting a piece of fabric to press it to your cheek. Then he walks over to Jongdae, to cut loose his binds and helps him up, doing the same for Sehun. Some of the crew glance at you three while they work, but none seem surprised by Baekhyun’s behavior, which only serves to heighten your confusion.

As you stand up, you notice the sun has risen entirely above the sea now, gold and peach tones filling the sky. Your legs are shaky still, but you’re alive. And so are both men you came with. As soon as you realize this fully, you rush to embrace Sehun. His long arms come around you just as easily, breath still shaky against your cheek. He holds you for a long while, before stepping back to check your injury. You look over at Jongdae then, who has a grateful smile on his lips, holding himself up against the railing. And Baekhyun— he just stares at you and your best friend with an interest that you can only see as foreign. Like he’s watching a fascinating animal in it’s natural habitat. Still, when you catch his eyes, you bow at him. “Thank you, Baekhyun.”

The man smiles, before tossing the flask towards you. You catch it, just barely. “I didn’t do it for you.” He bows back the slightest bit, before disappearing the same way Kyungsoo went. Leaving the three of you behind in confusion, as the day truly begins.

You haven’t seen Baekhyun or the Captain again, since they entered the cabin. Something you are grateful for, now that the shock has worn off. Sehun helped Jongdae back down into the belly of the ship not much after, to clean him up and settle him into rest. And while he wanted to stick close by you, you asked him to keep an eye out for Jongdae instead. He got the much shorter end of the stick after all. Now, with the sun still rising, the clean air has been abandoned by most for wine and music below deck. You run your hand over the railing as you walk the length of the ship, stilling once you get to the very front. In a couple of hours, you’ll arrive on the small island of Caryon. You hope to see some familiar faces soon, Lilith, or Cato, or anyone else.

The sea, though loud and wild earlier, has now settled into a softer shape, crashing open into millions of tiny droplets. You take a deep breath of the salty air, and lean your top half onto the wood, letting your arms dangle. Your body is tired, and muscles uncomfortable in their stretch. Your mind can’t help but wander, settling back to your home, to your father, mother, siblings. If they ever caught news of all that you’ve been through, they’d never let you set another foot outside the palace. Understandable in a way. You’re their precious gem, you know this. They would, however, protect you with everything they have. Some people, like Jongdae don’t have such luxury. For maybe the first time in years, you notice the true advantage of your position.

It reminds you of the one other time you realized it. You were still young, barely half your height now, and out with your older sister. A bright day, perfect for going for a walk, though unlike much of the kids in Aking, you had to be under tight surveillance. While walking down the stairs toward the river, a group of giggling children rushed by you, in the middle of their own game. In the mess, an even smaller girl ran straight into you, falling backwards because of the impact. She tumbled down several stairs, sitting up with a small hand pressed against her head and tears in her big eyes. But instead of helping her, your royal guard demanded an apology from the poor thing. And she did, with the most sorry expression you’d ever seen on a person.

Now, it strikes you again. Jongdae almost died in your place, and for what. You let out another sigh, before standing up. From the corner of your eye, you can make out a shape behind you, scaring you into the corner. You almost lose your balance from the shock. The Captain regards you with a blank expression, wearing a soft blue, long-sleeve shirt in place of his white jacket now. Despite the softer appearance, he still carries the same darkness on his face. At your unmoving state, he clenches his jaw a tad. When he takes a step forward, you take one back, his frown deepening. “I’ve hurt you once today, I think that’s enough.” He lifts his hands, to reveal a bottle with a murky, brown liquid. “I’m going to clean up that cut.”

“I didn’t ask for your help,” you snap back, almost rolling your eyes. He gave you the damned cut.

Kyungsoo just stares at you for a moment, before taking a few steps in your direction with raised hands, like you’re a rabid animal ready to strike. He has the same deep line digging between his brows every time he looks your way, only fading slightly when you cross your arms over your chest. The small jewels of your corset dig into your skin that way. “Baekhyun is helping your … friend,” he sighs, “he can’t help you right now. If you don’t clean the wound it will infect and fester.” Though you want to argue that he doesn’t care either way, you choose to look away instead. In a way, he probably does care. If you’re damaged, he might not get his money after all.

Kyungsoo steps up onto the higher ledge to stand a few feet away, and opens the bottle. A strong, alcoholic smell comes with it, making you pull up your nose. “Turn this way,” he motions. You turn your head towards the other end of the ship, as he pours some of the stuff on a rag. As a frown comes to rest on your face, he shakes his head. “This is all we have for cleaning wounds. Luckily, I don’t see a need for stitches.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have cut me at all,” you mumble, gaze on the wooden boards beneath your feet.

His eyes narrow at you as he lifts the rag to your face. “Maybe you shouldn’t be too nonchalant about my help. You’re on my ship, surrounded by my crew, under my rules.” A pause, and then he looks out from the ocean to you. “It’ll sting,” he says, as he drags the rag over your cut. It does burn like hell, and you have to bite your lip to keep from cursing something. Two good brushes of the rag before he takes it away, and walks down the ledge to go back towards the cabin. His steps rhythmic on the planks. After a second, he stops in place to turn around, and looks at you once more. “Don’t mistake my curiosity for kindness. I’m a lot of things and kind isn’t one of them.” You scoff. Yeah, you’ve noticed. It doesn’t seem to bother him. “Where was the fleet going to take you?” he questions, and for the first time the dark shadow on his face clears.

You hesitate for a second, before uncrossing your arms and swallowing. For some reason, you find it strange that he would ask. There’s barely any cities that far north, that the Royal fleet would fare to. Only a few have trading accords with the Capital. The other ones aren’t seen as important, and you barely know a thing about them. So, you answer him truthfully. “We were going to Elyfhil.” The Captain nods in response, expression barely changing. Yet, staring back at him like this, his face looks softer at the admission. “I read it’s the loveliest city in the world. Have you ever been there?”

“Born there,” he says, frown climbing back to it’s place on his features. “It’s a miserable place, really. Always cold, many old, abandoned houses, a lot of poverty and a lot of rich people abusing power.” He shakes his head though, and lifts his shoulders, as the ghost of a smile tugs at his mouth corner. “I guess someone like you wouldn’t find it miserable though. After all, you’ll never be one of the poor suckers struggling to feed their family.” The words hit your skin like a knife, leaving you with an open mouth and too little words coming out of it. “Go back indoors now, the wind is picking up.”

He walks away without waiting for your reply, as you follow his retreating shape with your eyes. You can’t even say anything in return, because to your surprise, you find yourself agreeing. You’ll never be one of the people who need help the most.

The sound of people is surprisingly loud, not only on the ship itself but from around it. There’s sound of vendors and merchants, but also children playing around the port. Sadly, you can’t see much of the small town of Caryon since the three of you are tied together around the mast and with your backs facing each other. And even if you could escape, you wouldn’t be able to get far without Sehun or Jongdae’s help. Most of the pirates went to land long ago, leaving you under the surveilling eye of a big man with a grimy beard and large hoop earrings. He doesn’t seem to speak Home Tongue, since he’s ignored every one of your pleads for water. After even more waiting in the smoldering sunlight that beams down on you without stop, people finally come back. You can only hope the Royal fleet was willing to pay off a group of pirates.

Baekhyun is the first one back on deck, with nimble movements as he hoists himself and two large bags over the wooden guardrail that protects you from the water. His dark hair messier than ever, but partly clipped back with a golden pin. He tosses the heavy looking bags to the side, before skipping over to the three of you with a smile. His dark eyes shining silver as he crouches in front of you. “Do you like my pin? I got it to match yours.” He tilts his head more into your view then, revealing the intricate details of a gold-threaded dragon that you recognize immediately. It’s yours, one you left on the ship when you had to flee. Baekhyun sees the recognition in your eyes, and giggles. “Seems like you really are from the royal fleet, huh. They sold some of your stuff but I’m guessing most of it is still on board.”

“They— no, wait, who sold you this?” you fumble, watching him stand again. The rest of the crew is already pouring back on board, carrying various crates and sacks. “Did you find the Royal fleet? Did they give you the money?” Baekhyun doesn’t answer your questions. He walks towards the cabin with a spring in his step. “What in Idite’s name��” you sigh, feeling Sehun’s fingers wrap around your hand and holding it in support.

“I’m sure they found them,” he mumbles back, his shoulder pressed to your own, “Captain Lilith wouldn’t just let us sit here. Right, Jongdae?” There’s a non-committal sound from the quartermaster. “As soon as she hears word of your being on the ship, she’ll come and get you, Princess. Have no worry.” Though his comforting words help to calm your heart, there’s part of you that doubts this notion. After all, any pirate could say they have someone of value on board. Who would believe a bunch of thieves without a shred of proof?

Not much later, the Captain comes on board too, hopping over the railing easily. He straightens his jacket, before giving an order to the men behind him. You’re too far away to hear. After a second, his eyes meet yours though, deep orbs scanning you up and down a few times. It sends an uncomfortable feeling to your stomach, you don’t enjoy being viewed as cargo. He grabs the shoulder of one of the pirates, and cocks his head towards the three of you. “We’re sailing back out, so get into the nest. When we’re about an hour out, you can let them out of their binds. They won’t be able to run elsewhere.”

When he turns to walk away, most likely to steer the ship, you lean forward and clear your throat. “Captain Kyungsoo!” Several of the men turn to look at you, but don’t say anything. “Could we get some water, please? We’ve been sitting in the sun for hours.” When he turns to look at you, he lifts an eyebrow, before clicking his tongue in disapproval. His hands come to rest at his belt, where the sharp sword that was pressed to your throat just this morning still hangs easily, next to two smaller knives.

“Any requests can go to Baekhyun,” he sighs, sounding most fed up you’ve ever heard him. You want to ask about the fate of you and your friends, but judging his expression, now is not the best of times to ask. “He’s been put in charge of your well-being.” Said man comes from around the corner with a grin that makes his cheeks cutely round, already waving a water bottle back and forth nonchalantly. Kyungsoo whispers him something as they cross, but doesn’t acknowledge you any further. He merely shakes his head, and walks toward the helm, to steer the ship without having to see you three. You huff when he disappears, and watch the last of the men pull the anchor of the ship up. Four of them, straining to get the giant metal onto deck. Baekhyun hums as he approaches, pressing the bottle against Sehun’s lips and pouring without thinking twice.

Half of the water runs down the sides of his mouth and almost in his nose, but the pirate clearly doesn’t care. “Drink up, buttercup!” he grins, waddling to Jongdae next. The man has been mostly quiet since you’ve arrived on Caryon. It doesn’t sit well. Jongdae, out of you three, has been the most optimistic the entire trip. Even when you were floating out in the middle of nowhere, he had a smile on his lips and a spring in his step that brought you an immense feeling of calm, despite the hopeless situation. You can only guess what’s going on in his head. When the quartermaster has had his fill, Baekhyun settles in front of you, and motions at you to open your mouth.

The water is cool, even when it slips down your lips and drops from your chin. Two gulps, and then the bottle is pulled away. Though you glare at him from under your lashes, Baekhyun beams down at you with a smile. You still can’t get over the strange feeling you have around him, even with the kindness he’s shown you. There’s just something— that feels off about him. “What is happening now, Baekhyun?” you ask. You can feel the ship moving again, the sails curved into half moons in the wind. “You didn’t find the Royal fleet, did you?”

At the very last, the artificial grin slips off, revealing for the first time ever a slight frown on his handsome face. It stays silent for a long while, before Baekhyun leans a bit closer, face uncomfortably close to yours. He truly must not understand what personal space is. “You didn’t tell me you got attacked by pirates before. I thought we were friends, and friends tell each other things.” Holding your tongue for a moment, you look at him. His eyes are tense, lips set into a straight line, like whatever he found out genuinely bothers him and for this moment only do you truly feel for him. But then he leans back and cocks his head, smiling. The chance is instant, if you had blinked you would’ve missed it. “There’s no problem, little fish. Just a change of plans.”

You frown, but nod. “Well, I would have told you, but I thought whoever attacked us must have been part of your men. I take it that assumption is wrong?”

Baekhyun grins, before tapping his hand softly against your injured cheek, ignoring your wince entirely. “You do have some brains in that pretty head of yours, after all. A bad liar, but not useless.” He jumps back to his feet to put the bottle into a bunched stack of thick ropes, and then stretches out. “You’ll all be staying with us for a bit longer. You see, the Captain has decided that he really wants that coin you’ll make us, so I’m not allowed to play with any of you. But it seems the Royal fleet has been split up. One of the ships was taken by the Red Skulls, and they are on their merry way to capture the other two as well. With on board, our money. So you see how this becomes a problem for us. If the Red Skulls take the fleet before we can, there won’t be anyone left to pay us off.”

“How do you know all this?” Sehun asks, unable to look at Baekhyun but listening intently nevertheless.

The raven-haired pirate just shrugs. “I have charms, getting people to talk isn’t hard.”

For the first time in a few hours, you finally hear Jongdae’s voice as well. “Did they say anything about the crew?” But Baekhyun doesn’t answer, which is the most telling answer of all. His lips purse though, and he turns away from you to look out at the no doubts vanishing island, as if he doesn’t want to face the disappointment in Jongdae’s eyes. All you can do is touch your fingertips to the man’s bound hands, unsure of what to say. When Baekhyun turns back to you, he lets out a deep breath, and rubs his black-stained hands under his eyes.

“They have a few hours on us, but our ship is much faster. We’re going to take that ship before it can get to Elyfhil.”

“And what about us,” you question, running it over in your head. If they can take back the ship with that much ease, surely, they don’t need to deliver you back to get the money they so eagerly ache for. If anything, I’d be easier to just get rid of you all together, and take the remaining ships as well. Baekhyun takes out his sword as you talk, planting it into the wood between your feet. “The way I see it you have no good reason to keep us around. You’re going to get your money, you’re going to get your revenge. You’ll probably even get to stab a few guys along the way.”

He chuckles, before leaning forward onto the sword to look straight into your eyes. “Aye, but you forgot to tell us some really important things before, didn’t you? The first ships of the royal fleet, those that weren’t taken yet? They were looking for something more valuable than coin.” His eyes glint knowingly, the same dangerous smile curving onto his face like a shadow. “They were looking for a lost guard, and the Queen’s daughter. Now what are the odds of that?”

“You think I’m the Queen’s daughter?” you scoff.

“No, little fish,” Baekhyun shakes his head the tiniest bit, before answering, “we know you are.”

     🌊🌊🌊     

It’s been a day. A whole day, you’ve been locked up in the small wine storage they cleared out as a cell. You’ve burned through six candles, since the tiny window that sits right below the ceiling is constantly blocked by water gushing past. At least you’re able to use your hands again, and look your friends in the eye. This has given you plenty of time to think, too. Something limited only slightly by the alcoholic fumes you’ve been breathing in. Sehun sits slumped against the wall across from you. “We could try and pry loose one of these boards, and jam it into the keyhole to open the door. Then, we sneak past the crew once they are asleep, and we knock out the captain. Then we either sail straight ahead towards the city, or we turn us back around to Caryon. Either would work, really.”

You snort, unable to help it. His ideas have been getting more and more ridiculous by the minute. “You almost lost your finger pushing it into the lock earlier, Master Sehun. I think we’ve all seen enough of that for the rest of our trip.” Jongdae is stood against the wall next to you, his arms crossed over his chest and eyes the sharpest of all of you yet. You guess he’s more used to the wine than you are. His lip is still swollen, cut right through the middle and looking very painful. “And even if we got out of this room, we’re still on the ship with a couple dozen pirates who won’t hesitate to stab us.”

“Stab me and Jongdae, you mean. They are not going to stab a Princess.”

You stretch out your leg to deliver a tap to his shin, your friend jumping out of the way with a smile. At least someone’s still seeing the fun in all this. You shake your head at him, and sigh. “What happens to you, will happen to me as well. I’m not letting any of you get hurt in my stead. Not again.” It’s strange to think that less than a week ago, you were still in the innocent belief that this would be a fun experience. Jongdae’s hand is soft on your arm, his smile strained against his injury but genuine all the same. You wave him off, when he mouths a ‘thank you’. “We’re not going to escape here any time soon, is all I’m saying,” you finish, pressing your back against the coarse wood behind you.

It stays silent for a bit, before Jongdae clears his throat. “Actually, that isn’t that bad of an idea.” Your eyes are wide when you glance at him over your shoulder, and see that he means it. Never mind, Jongdae doesn’t handle wine well at all. He’s gone completely crazy. When you laugh, the quartermaster takes hold of your hand. “No, listen, Princess! We could take the ship from the inside out!”

“How in the Gods’ names would we do that?!” you respond, glancing between the two clearly irrational men that are locked in this shed with you.

“Well, Baekhyun is right. They know who you are, they know they are right and how much the Capital can pay to have you back unharmed. Meaning, you’re relatively safe around them, even though they don’t look at all like the caring types.” Jongdae speaks with so much conviction, that you almost believe him. “Second, and please excuse my crudeness, your Highness; but you’re an desirable young girl, if anyone can get close to the Captain, it’s you.”

You just blink at him. “You’ve gone insane, Jongdae. Truly!”

“I hate to be against your judgement, Princess Y/N, but I think the Quartermaster is right.” Your disbelieving gaze snaps to your best friend at that, mouth dropping open. He cannot be serious. “You’re the only girl on a ship full of men, and you cannot be harmed under their care. That is the perfect moment to use your womanly charm, and enchant the Captain into your trust.”

Jongdae nods. “If he trusts you enough, maybe you’ll be able to enter the cabin. You can steal the key, and then when night comes, we can sneak out and lock the men beneath deck. I can take the wheel from there, and we’d only have to deal with the captain, which is us three against one.” He runs his hands through his hair, and nods. The faith they have in your abilities would be a compliment, if not for the fact that Captain Kyungsoo scares you more than a tad. “It’s quite a good plan, your Highness. But we need you to be willing, of course.”

“That is, assuming the Captain wants to be charmed at all! I don’t know if you’ve yet noticed, but he’s not the most jolly of individuals,” you argue, with wild, frustrated hand movements. “Let’s just assume that he did, in fact, have an interest in me past the monetary value he sees me as, then I have to convince him to let me into the cabin without him, and steal a key that I don’t know what it looks like. And then what?! Say we do get to Elyfhil without any further issues, what do we do with them then?” Sehun seems entirely too amused by your worry, so you take off your shoe to toss it at him, only missing his face by a hair. Jongdae, for the first time in a while, smiles as well.

“We have a few weeks to figure it out,” Sehun grins, giddy at the idea and all you can do is glare at him in response. “This is pretty much the only plan we have, Princess. But fear not, for I have faith in your abilities.” Stupid boys. Stupid, idiotic boys with their stupid plans.

When night falls, your head falls into an tired rest on Jongdae’s shoulder, with the last flickering light of the candle dimming into darkness. The wood creaks around you, ship waving back and forth smoothly on the face of the sea. Your lids are so heavy, and soon you’re falling into an unsteady sleep.

The sea is calm, smooth like a mirror to the sky, as the ship cuts through it. The water reflects yellows and soft pinks, cold filling your lungs as you wait. The figure stands at the very front of the ship, looking out over the sea with gentle, rhythmic breaths. Calm. ‘Captain Kyungsoo?’ you breathe at the shape, watching him as he turns over his shoulder to look at you. Face dusted a soft pink, he smiles. A kind smile, one that fills you with joy and you can’t help but return the gesture a tenfold. ‘There you are, I was waiting for you for a long time,’ he says, motioning you up onto the ledge. You do, feel his hand in yours as support, while he leads you to stand in front of him. His sturdy figure close to yours, pointing out at the sea. ‘A bit further and we’ll arrive at the shore. Just past the fog you see there, there’s trees as tall as giants, white beaches with sand finer than the finest thread. Woods, for miles and miles. You’ve always wanted to see it, haven’t you?’ Your nod is gentle, but genuine. You have. He rests his chin on your shoulder then, breath brushing over your exposed skin. ‘I wish we could see it together. I wish you could explore it all, with me.’ ‘But we can’t. Can we, Princess?’ You can’t move. You want to turn to look at him, you really do, but you can’t move. Unable to move a single muscle. Unable to speak. You can only watch the undisturbed ocean, and feel the soft brush of his hand against your fingers. ‘We can’t, because you lied to me. You’ve been lying to me the whole time, and now everything is ruined. Did I deserve it? Did I deserve to be a pawn in your royal game?’ ‘Y/N?’

“Y/N.”

A hand wraps around your wrist, shaking you up and awake at once, eyes wide. Small beads of sweat gather at your hairline, your cheeks glowy, bright red. “Wake up, Princess,” Sehun breathes, his large hand still gently wrapped around your arm. You blink a few times, before pushing yourself up from the uncomfortable position you’re sat in. “You’re glowing.” You look around to see the same small space, though the door is open, and Jongdae is nowhere to be seen.

“Where are we?” you breathe, rubbing your warm hands over your cheeks in circles. They are very hot indeed.

Sehun lets go of you once your stable on your feet, and smiles. “Still aboard the ship, Princess. But we’ve been allowed out, we’re too far away from land to escape, it seems. I think you need some fresh air, you were overheating in here.” You nod, and swallow. Your throat is dry, tongue sponge-like. Your friend watches you intently, before lifting his brows. “Are you okay? You look out of it.”

“I’m fine, Master Sehun,” you respond, peeking out of the door into the dark belly of the ship. You need some fresh air. As you walk, the tall man follows close behind. That must have been a dream. It can’t have been anything but a dream, yet it felt so real. Your breathing is still strained, only evening out once you get out of the confined space of the ship. The ship creaks loudly, under the busy movement of the crew. Jongdae is sitting on the railing further up, letting his legs dangle. He looks so casual, despite the worried expression he carries. You feel his worry. Sehun’s hand comes to rest on your shoulder after a second, where he returns with a cup, ordering you to drink with the most gentle voice anyone has ever given an order.

You sigh when you catch his eyes. “Listen, Hun… I know that you’re putting all your hope on this plan,” you lean a bit closer to say the last word, “but I have a really bad feeling about it. As in, I don’t think we should go through with it.” Your friend doesn’t try to hide his surprise, mouth dropping open slightly. “I know that we should try— but I don’t think I can. I’m hardly as charming as you seem to believe I am, I’m stubborn and a little bit too snappy for my own good sometimes. I can’t… make a random man suddenly like me. He’ll see right through it!”

The dark haired man bites his lip in thought. “I don’t think he will, Princess. After all, he did clean your cut out of his own volition, did he not?” You let out a tense breath, and pout up at him, making Sehun’s face flood with a certain joy. You should both know that he only did that not to carry damaged goods aboard. Sehun seems to purposefully ignore that part. “If you really don’t want to, then don’t. But you know as well as we do that there’s nothing more we can plan. We’re outnumbered by a tenfold. The only way to get anywhere is to gain a bit of their trust or even respect.”

“And what if I don’t think they deserve to be lied to so?” you bring out, wringing your hands together in the soft, pink fabric of your dress. There’s no other clothes aboard, so you’ve been in the same dress for days.

At this your friend just stares at you, disbelief in his eyes. “They are pirates, Princess!”

“I know, I know that,” you sigh, “I know that I’m looking too much into it but…” 

Before your friend can say anything in response, a shout comes from behind you. “Little fish!” the voice beams, bright and too loud for even your sunny disposition. Sehun just lifts his shoulders, as confused as you are when you turn. Baekhyun’s bright features cut through the bustle easily. “Come over here, please.” He waves you over with a happy grin, and places his hands on his hips. “Or Princess Little fish, I should say!” You huff out a tense breath, but walk over, and tilt your head at him in question.

“What do you want?” you say.

Your defiance delights him endlessly, every time. You can see it in the way his cheeks seem to get even wider, if possible. “Don’t be rude now.” You glare at him in return. “You’re all worked up I see,” he beams, and takes your hand smoothly in his own to lead you around, “but I’ll get you even more worked up! Captain has sent me to get your pretty self to join us for lunch. He worries about your well-being every second! Isn’t he the kindest?” You can only imagine the tiniest truth hidden behind his words, and decide to ignore the rest. This man really knows how to get under someone’s skin like a rash. You pull your hand from his, but walk alongside him.

“What’s the purpose behind this sudden lunch invitation if I may ask?”

A playful hum comes from him, as he pinches your side. “No reason~” Baekhyun sings, only adding more fuel to your worry. As you near the door, you sigh, glancing back at Sehun just once. You can’t deny that the setup to the plan is being handed to you on a silver platter at this very moment. Your friend gives you a tense smile, and puts up his thumbs toward you. Though it frustrates you beyond belief, you know as well as your two friends that any other means of escaping will be as good as impossible. You’re more than a week away from your destination. You tuck a loose strand of your hair behind your ear when Baekhyun leans around you to open the door, and swallow your hesitance. You can at least give it a try.

The silence that lingers in the room between each sentence is deafeningly uncomfortable. You lay your hands next to your plate, and drum your nails on the smooth wood of the table. It’s a miracle that this ship even floats, with the amount of heavily decorative furniture occupy the cabin. You’re sat across from the Captain, whose seat remains empty for now, while Baekhyun sits at the head of the table. “Would you like some water?” the deep voice calls from across the room, broad back facing you.

You don’t respond, unsure of what to say. After all, what could he possibly want from you that requires lunch to precede it? You will yourself to remember that these men, however charming, are still pirates. Pillagers, murderers, thieves. They take what they want, when they want it. The only reason you’re still alive is because they have a use for you. You have to remember that. The Captain glances back at you with a frown, and places a glass of water in front of you anyway, mouth corners turned down. “I’m not usually this attentive to my captives,” he mumbles, as he takes his seat across yours. “Your pride is going to give out before I start caring, so drink while you still get to.”

“Maybe I won’t drink anymore for this entire journey,” you bite back, unable to help it. You don’t understand this man, and it frustrates you to no end. He invites you to lunch, but threatens you basically the second you’re in his presence, and calls you his captive. “Then I will die of sickness and you won’t get any riches at all.” The darkness on his face flickers like a flame over his gaze, playful but unwavering, though his frown grows deeper if possible.

“Then die, Princess.” He takes a drink from his own glass, before slumping back in the plush of the chair. “If that is the way your Highness chooses to go, by all means, be my guest.” Your jaw stays locked hard together, eyes on his expression. But he’s not looking at you anymore, like the sight of you disgusts him. His handsome face aimed solely at the table, or the wall behind you, but not on your face. You almost wish he’d at least have the guts to stare you in the eye when he talks to you, but in truth, that might just anger you further. “You speak of your life so easily, like you’d be willing to give it up for anything and anyone.”

“I would,” you say, full in this notion. You don’t feel the need to lie, since your truth is much more to you than just a way you were raised. You believe in it, fully and from the bottom of your heart. Not that he’d understand, you think, watching the nonchalant way he twirls the small knife between his fingers. Baekhyun, meanwhile, has been the most quiet you’ve ever seen him. Your bottom lip juts out a bit as you continue. “It’s my duty to protect my people, and I take that role very seriously.”

At this the Captain scoffs, loudly, grinning at the ceiling in disbelief. For two full heartbeats, it stays quiet, and you can feel the anger in your body bubbling over. Forget charming this man, maybe you’ll just launch over the table and strangle him instead. But when he finally looks at you again, you don’t see the gloating expression you’re expecting. Instead, there’s a distinct sadness that settles in his features, brushed gently over his face. The face of sorrow, and loss. “Have you ever even seen death before, Princess? Sickness? Excruciating hunger and pain?” He shakes his head at you. “Because if you are willing to give your life so easily, I don’t believe you have.”

The tenseness of your body ebbs out with the long breath you let out. “Then don’t believe it. I have. Not me, and not my close relatives. Because I was as fortunate as to be born into a position of power and money.” He doesn’t respond. But your lips shake slightly as you continue. “But I think I’ve seen more death than you have, Captain. Whenever I can, I sneak out of the palace to visit the temples, and after that the doctor houses. Orphanages. I see people pray to every God they know of to heal their family members. I watch them wither away as I hold their hand, cold in their beds. I read stories to those poor children who’ve lost everything and it’s true… I am healthy, because I get fed every day, and because I can pay the best medics.” You swallow, removing your eyes from his to stare into your glass. “But do you think I don’t feel it? I am the only one standing tall between people who see death as a constant. People put their faith in me, their hope, their dreams, they give them all to me because I was born a princess and yet, I can’t do a single thing to save them!

“So yes, I want to give my life for the people I care about, because that is the only thing I can do to help,” you say, clenching your trembling hands in your dress. “I’m not sorry for giving my one life away for the values I believe in. At least I don’t kill for enjoyment.” You’re not sure what the man is thinking, but you’ve had about enough, and lunch hasn’t even started yet. You push your chair back and stand, ready to walk out of here. Tell your friends that you’d just have to sit it out. You and the Captain are just too different, there’s no way you’d ever get along. But then fingers wrap around your arm, pulling you back, and your feet falter as if automatic. Baekhyun’s grip on you is tight, long fingers locked around your wrist.

“Stay,” he says, face void of the familiar grin you’ve learned to anticipate on him, and it makes you hesitate. “Kyungsoo is not a man of many words. He doesn’t talk much, and when he does, it often comes out too harsh. But we might all have some things in common, Princess.” His eyes are clear on yours, mouth pulled in a soft line. “So sit back down, please.” You huff, but do so, not looking across the table again. One of the men soon enters with a pot of soup, and places it on the table. You all eat in silence, something you’re not used to, but at this moment you’re glad for the bit of peace. When Baekhyun finishes his plate in record speed, the Captain sends him a look.

“Baekhyun, would you please check up on our other two guests for a moment?” The other nods, and leaves the room without another word. You wonder which of the two really wanted this lunch. From the way Baekhyun held your arm, it seems to suggest… but then why? The Captain pauses for a moment, before linking his hands together on the table. “I trust that Baekhyun has been looking out for your well-being sufficiently?”

You bite your bottom lip, but nod. “He has been trying his hardest, I think.” The Captain agrees wordlessly, and chooses to watch you instead. His sharp, calculating gaze is entirely distracting. You play with your cutlery for a moment, but are unable to keep quiet anymore. “Whatever the reason for this dinner, I don’t think I—”

“I wanted to apologize for my impertinence toward you throughout this trip,” the Captain cuts in, his strong voice filling the cabin easily. Definitely now it’s just the two of you, it seems to tremble through the fibers of the wood.

“Do— w-wait, what?” you stutter, eyes wide, “Apologize?”

“Yes.” His handsome face is aimed solely on you yet again, and this time, your cheeks heat under his gaze. You’re absolutely confused now. Kyungsoo tilts his head a bit when you don’t immediately respond, and continues. “I was harsh in my punishment, and I’ve come to understand you’ve been quite polite towards me for it in return. I wanted to…” he pauses, and for the first time to this point, he looks unsure of his words. Like you’re the one who might shut him down. But, you’re still too starstruck by the apology to make out anything else. Who in the history of -ever- has gotten a pirate of all people to apologize to them, out of choice? “I want to promise that I will not cause you harm again, Princess.”

Your mouth drops open at that. You’re starting to think you’re currently still having a fever dream and that you’re still locked up in the wine cellar, imagining all of this. You don’t even really care if he has an alternative motive, which he most likely has. That makes two of you, then. “Thank you,” you mumble, finishing the last of your soup quickly. Then, you look around the room, this time out of genuine curiosity. On the wall facing you, hangs a giant map, with thin, blue lines of ink marking a spider web across it. They must have all been sailing together for a long time, if they’ve seen all those places in their relatively short lives. You bite your cheek, and slowly breathe in. “Can I ask you a question, Captain Kyungsoo?” He nods.

“You’ve traveled a lot, right?” Again, he gives you a nonverbal response. “Do you believe in mermaids? I know they are most likely just stories,” you smile despite your hesitance, “but I’ve always wondered. They seem so fascinating!” This pulls a quirk from his full lips, turning them up at the corners, ever so gently. “Don’t laugh! My aunt, the third Queen, swears on her life that they are real. I just have to know, it’s been eating me up inside. And even if you haven’t seen them yet, doesn’t mean they can’t exist. You haven’t sailed the entire world yet.” You cross your arms over your chest when his smile grows, turning his smile into the shape of a heart, full and warm. It’s a foreign sight on his otherwise serious face.

“They are real,” he nods, smoothing his expression back into one of indifference, but you can see the twinkle in his eyes as he looks at you.

You brush your strand of hair back behind your ear, before shaking your head. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” This makes the man giggle, a sound that surprises you so that you freeze in place. It makes him look so much younger, painting such true joy into him that you can’t help but join in. “I would’ve believed you!” you whine, pushing your plate forward a bit in protest.

“They are real,” he repeats, eyes crinkled into half moons because of his wide cheeks. “There’s an island, far up north where the water is as cold as ice, but it doesn’t freeze. And there, in the water, you can see them swimming around. I swear it, they are real.”

You stop laughing when he does, and lean forward. “Are they pretty?”

“No,” the Captain breathes, “they are very ugly. With thick, grey scales all over, and sunken in cheeks. They have dull, almost see through skin, only barely visible in the water. And their hair is long and dark like the night. When you sail through their waters they try to crawl on-board of the ship, to take you with them into the water, and they cry painful songs as soon as their heads peak above the water.” He says it so fully, that you can’t even tell if it’s a lie or not. You want to believe it. “The Hellbound still has scratches on the side of her from when their claws scraped by the wood,” he nods. You just blink, and look at your plate.

“How do you know they want to harm? If they are magical creatures, they could be kind.”

“We don’t know they want to harm. But none of us were willing to find out. The water is too cold anyway, would’ve killed us in minutes. And since I’m responsible for my men, I didn’t want to take a chance.” You nod in understanding, looking around this room. To your left is the door back out, and to your right is a door that has only a small window in it. The golden plaque on it says ‘Office’. You can only imagine what treasures lie hidden in the office of a Pirate Captain. “And magic, that’s something for landlubbers like yourself. I don’t really believe in it.”

For some reason that doesn’t surprise you. With the breath you let out, some of your anxiety ebbs away. “Maybe I’m totally wrong, and excuse me if I am, but you don’t seem to want this,” you suddenly murmur. The Captain raises his brow a bit, a silent question. You clear your throat. “Everyone looks at you like you’re meant to be the one to lead, like… like you’re programmed to do so. They admire you, but they also seem to think you have all the answers, when you don’t. I feel the same things in a way, back home. Being a Royal. I know I shouldn’t complain, but most days I wish I could switch places with any other girl my age. I never asked for this, but people treat me like I did.”

You blink at him for a second again, biting through the tense feeling as best you can. “You treat me like I asked for this. And I treat you like you wanted to become what you are.” The man across from you gives you the tiniest nod. So you pick at the thin fabric of your dress, and look down. “So I guess I’m asking you now… Did you?”

The silence is filled yet again with the rushing of the waves, a constant the last few days that has become calming to your soul. Then, like the truth pains him deeply, he lets out a huff. “No.” Kyungsoo stares through the window revealing the deck for a long time, blinking against the muted light. “But things happen that push you in ways you never meant to go.” You try to respond a couple of times, but you’re not sure what to say. You agree with him… again. He doesn’t seem interested in elaborating about it further, so that leaves you both alone to your thoughts, in the same room. Not much later, Baekhyun suddenly pushes the door back open, his happy demeanor breaking through the void easily.

“The guests are breathing and alive! And I brought the second course.” The rest of the meal goes by in relative silence, both men informing you that the Red Skulls sold most of your left-behind items in Caryon. They also mention that these pirates are more ruthless than most. When you ask about what might have happened to the remaining crew on the ship, their faces don’t let on much, but you can notice Baekhyun tensing up at the topic. He swiftly explains that you shouldn’t have hope of seeing them again, which makes you incredibly sad for Jongdae. You don’t find out the actual reason behind inviting you to lunch though, which leaves you the most uncomfortable you’ve been in a while. Because you can’t figure out for the life of you why the Captain and his Right hand are being kind to you.

     🌊🌊🌊     

The days, though painstakingly long at times, are quite nice. You’ve truly grown to enjoy the breeze that flows past your shoulders when you stand out on deck. You’re gotten to sit up in the lowest of the crows nests, even though Sehun looked terrified for you the entire while. Turns out you wholly underestimated how long the trip would take, because seven more days out at sea seem like a lifetime. However, today is fun, since the wind has turned. The ship barely moves on the ocean, and the sails are pulled up and bound, which is a spectacle in itself. Baekhyun hangs in the ropes like a monkey, grinning like he is having the time of his life and you can’t help but tilt your head all the way back to follow his smooth motions from mast to mast, swinging between the ropes.

When you look over towards the rear of the ship, you can see Jongdae and Kyungsoo talk, even though it doesn’t last long. Kyungsoo’s hair is loose today, like it’s been freshly washed and though you’re not sure how he did that on a ship, you decides it looks good on him. It falls in fluffy tufts over his brows, hiding most of his frown even though you don’t doubt it’s still very much in place. When Jongdae returns back to your side, he smiles. You smile back at him, though the motion seems to pull at your muscles uncomfortably. You haven’t told him about the Red Skulls yet. You couldn’t, not when it’s clear that the hope has been all that he’s been holding onto. You turn to him, and lift your brows. “What’s got you so happy, Master Jongdae?”

“Nothing much,” he blinks, before poking your side playfully. “But I do have a slight surprise for you.”

“Oh no, what now…” you breathe, growing even more concerned at his overly excited grin.

“The ship is going to be stuck here for a while, since we’re stuck in between two currents caused by some smaller islands to the east. So I might have asked the Captain if it was alright to go have a swim. And before you say no, Sehun’s already getting you one of his shirts so you can’t back out.” He takes your hand to take you across the deck to the small space without railing, where a rope ladder hangs to a foot above the water. “We’ll just have a little dive, alright? The water looks great and it’s not very deep either.” The water does look great. It’s a warm, blue color, like that of a tropical island, and small droplets splash onto your exposed skin while you look.

“We’re on an pirate ship, and you want to take a little dive?” you giggle in return.

“Just because we’re on enemy territory doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to have some fun! Even Captain grumpy didn’t need any convincing.” When you roll your eyes, he pouts. “Come on, Princess, we’re going to be stuck here for an hour or two at least!”

To your other side, your best friend comes to lean his arm over your shoulder, and holds out the dark fabric of what you guess must be the shirt he was talking about. It’s quite thin of fabric, but at least it’s not as sheer as the dress you’re wearing. “You know you want to,” Sehun mumbles, the smile on his face audible even in his voice. You shake your head at both man’s antics, before jutting out your lips. But before you can convince yourself of any reasons that this might be a bad idea, your best friend lets out a high pitched laugh. Because he can see it on your face clear as day, fuck yes, you want to.

The water was pretty cold when you first entered, but now it’s actually quite warm. You laugh when Jongdae splashes a whole wall of water Sehun’s way, and swim out a bit more. The seafloor is only a few feet lower than the belly of the ship here, but it’s still way to deep to stand up. You smile, before letting yourself sink underneath the surface of the water and gently open your eyes. It feels a bit uncomfortable, but after a second or two you can make out your friends in the water, lower halves looking extremely silly. They look like frogs jumping around, only without getting very far. You look down the side of the ship, making out some paler lines on the wood that could very well be scratches, before coming back up for breath.

Jongdae smiles at you. “Princess! I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to catch a fish like that.”

“I wasn’t trying to catch one,” you giggle, and splash some water on their direction, before shaking your head. “Never-mind,” you reply. You sink under again, this time turning away from the ship to look down at the colorful plants that occupy most of the sea bottom. Small, multicolored fish swim in and out between the corals, unbothered by your presence. Some even swim towards you, as if curious to what strange creature you might be. They never get close enough to touch though, so you come back up to the surface for air. How pretty. For the first time in a while, this trip is going the way you wanted it to, and without being able to help it, you smile. You slowly make your way back to your friends, feeling the strain in your muscles from the lack of using them.

In all honesty, though you’re a good swimmer, you can’t remember the last time you actually did. It must have been years ago, that’s for sure. After another couple circles, you take hold of the ladder to your side to rest. Some of the pirates in the ropes glance down at you three every few, most likely wanting to take a dive as well. Jongdae comes to hold onto your shoulder as well, motioning Sehun over. “The plan seems to be going quite well, right, your Highness?” the older says, lowering his voice a bit out of caution. “The Captain seems less on edge about our presence than before.”

You give him a slight hum, though your brows are furrowed. “I guess… but I don’t really think that’s because of me. Baekhyun mentioned something about common goals, so it wouldn’t surprise me if we weren’t the only ones with hidden agendas. And besides, the Captain has hardly been very open with me since that one lunch we had a few days ago. He’s been very busy with the crew, and I don’t want to make it obvious either. Who knows what they’ll do if they find out we are —” you lower your voice even more, barely reaching above a whisper in volume, “trying to take over the ship?”

“I don’t think they have a clue,” Sehun smiles easily, backstroking past. “Who’d think that three people would plot against three dozen, after all?”

Jongdae nods. The two have become good friends throughout the time you’ve spent together, you’ve noticed. It makes you happy to see, since most of your time has been spent away from your best friend the last few days. And not that you’d admit it to him, but you’ve also grown quite attached to the older man’s quirky sense of humor and kind personality. “Exactly,” he agrees. “You’re doing great, Princess. Really. If you keep this going, in a few days you’ll definitely be able to enter there without the Captain even questioning it.” Though you shake your head with a roll of your eyes, you can’t help but hope he’s right. You don’t feel particularly glad to be misleading him after all, even though you should have no problems with it. Sehun and Jongdae are both kind people, and they don’t seem bothered, after all. Why should you be?

“Hey, Dae?” you then call, swimming away to let Sehun rest for a bit. “What do you think is going on with Captain Lilith? I know you most likely don’t want to talk about it, but I… I just worry, you know?” Baekhyun and Kyungsoo seem to worry too, though you don’t say this.

“I understand, Princess,” he soothes you, though he smiles sadly as he talks. “I know I’ve been avoiding the topic, because honestly… I felt guilty for a long time there. The Red Skulls are infamous, and known to sail those parts. As soon as we got attacked, I should have realized it was either them or these group of thieves, and never have left the fleet.”

“Jongdae…” Sehun tries to cut in, attempting to help, but Jongdae shakes his head.

“That’s what I should have done. But I didn’t, so there’s no reason I should beat myself up about it any longer. I can’t change the events of the past anymore anyway.” And he’s right, though you can’t help but wonder what would have happened if you didn’t get attacked by pirates. What would you be doing right now? You’d probably be lounging in your bed, in the belly of the ship and sailing across the sea with no worries and no qualms. You wouldn’t have the scab on your cheek from a pirate sword, and you would most likely never have become friends with Jongdae. Not as quickly, at least. You would have never met Captain Kyungsoo and his mess of a Right Hand Baekhyun. You would definitely not have stopped here to take a dive in the perfect, blue water and you can’t help the nagging feeling in the back of your brain telling you that maybe, very maybe, you’re having a better time because of it.

but no, that’s ridiculous, right? You do your best to shake that idea from your mind, and sigh. “Whatever might happen next—” You’re cut off by a loud, childlike shriek from above you, and you look up. Baekhyun grins down at the three of you in the water, along with many others of the pirates who seem to have given up on work for right now, in favor of a bit of fun. The raven-haired tease scrunches his nose at you when you eye him, before taking a run up and tossing himself over the guardrails of the ship.

“CANNONBALL!” The splash he creates is gigantic, and goes up your nose when you giggle.

After a few long hours of playing in the water, you’re the first to climb back up onto the ladder. Which isn’t easy, with the immense effort you have to put in to lift your exhausted limbs above your head. You almost crawl onto deck, choosing to lay down on your back for a second, and feeling the cold wind nip at your shoulders. The afternoon sun is still warm on your shoulders, and the air is clear and cold in your lungs. If this wasn’t such a strange situation, this would be the only way you’d choose to spend your free time. Out at sea with friends, just enjoying the days. Maybe visit a tropical island or two, while you’re at it. When you open your eyes and roll onto your side, you come face to face with some boots, and looking up further, Kyungsoo. He stands hovered over your body, his top lip lifted slightly in what you can only guess is… awkwardness? So you stare at him for a moment, before pushing yourself up from the deck surface to stand on your legs. Only when you do, you notice the airtight way your shirt sticks to your shape, revealing much more of yourself than you wanted to. Oh, that’s why.

The man’s eyes linger for just a split second too long for you to miss it, though the rest of his face is schooled back perfectly into one of seriousness. He holds his arm out, with over it a white piece of clothing. “Here,” he nods for you to take it, “we figured you’d like to have the remainder of your items if given the chance. We found them being sold in Caryon. Don’t thank me either, it was all Baekhyun.” As you take the dress from his hands, you stare at it for a bit. It’s a white dress, with a boat neck and simple lace ruffles at the bottom, though pretty designs have been stitched on with white thread. Did you really bring this dress with you? You might have, though you don’t recognize it. The entire preparation period seems like a bit of a blur now, since everything that has happened between then and now. “I saw you getting up so…” he trails off, biting the side of his cheek. “Can you call the rest back up? The wind is picking up, we have to get going soon.” With that he walks away, not waiting up for your answer.

You hum after him in response anyway. When the Captain disappears from sight, you quickly peel the wet shirt from your body to slide into the dress, shaking a bit as the wind indeed picks up. Normally you’d never be this brave, but since everyone is either in the water or sleeping, you take a chance. Right on time in fact, because not long after the first pirates are making their way back onto deck. You tug your dress down a bit, frowning. You definitely did not bring this dress, you now realize, as it doesn’t even reach your knees. With a frown, you push the edge down a bit, turning when a whistle sounds out. Of course.

Baekhyun’s eyes seem to shine like diamonds, glee like you’ve never seen on him before. Of course this is his doing. “Baekhyun!” you hiss, walking over to him to punch him in the shoulder. “You think this is so very funny, don’t you?” He doesn’t respond, but takes hold of the hand you hit him with to pull your body way too close to his drenched one, smirking all the while. “Gods— let go, you maniac!” A bit harsh maybe, but it’s Baekhyun you’re talking to. He’ll get over it. This seems to push him towards the edge even more though.

“Don’t be like that, Princess. I got you a gift, you should be grateful.” Gift, hah, you think. The only person who it’s a gift for is him. “If you’re not grateful, I’ll tie you back up and sell you for a nice price as soon as we get to land again, little fish. Wouldn’t be the first. Don’t test my limits or I will test yours,” his voice grows so very close, face way too close to yours. Never mind, not harsh enough. You can’t help but want to shove him back, but his hold is too strong on your wrists. His words give you shivers down your spine, because you know he means it. You pull back again, and tilt your face away from him. Too much, too much— 

“Baekhyun,” that calm, deep voice suddenly mumbles, and you can’t help the relief that fills your chest, “let the girl go.” Kyungsoo, though he just lifts a simple eyebrow in your direction, looks livid. It expresses in the line that digs deep between his eyebrows, and the corners of his mouth that are genuinely down-turned. You freeze, as well as Baekhyun does, because both of you seemingly had not expected anyone to help. But you’re oh so grateful.

“Come on, Kyungsoo, let me play with her just a little bit!” the other whines, wrapping his arm around your waist as you struggle against him. “You never nag like this when other women are present. Just because she’s a pretty, little Princess doesn’t mean that I can’t tease her. Should I tease you a bit,” he asks you then, glints still flickering in his eyes. You don’t want to be teased. Not by him at least, you think, glaring up at the attractive guy, who suddenly looks so much less pleasant. He really doesn’t seem to notice that the game has long died for you, and that you just want him to let you go now. But with Kyungsoo standing so close, you’re not scared to push against the other man harder, shoving him to let go of you. But Baekhyun is quick, and his hand snakes around your arm, grip painful on you now. “Come on, sweetheart, I won’t bite.”

“I don’t care, you’re gross and this dress is not a gift to anyone but you! You care about no one but yourself, I can’t even believe I was starting to not despise you!” you snap at him, feeling a warmth around your other hand now. Kyungsoo is holding your free one, clenched tight in his. If it’s for your support, or his own, you’re not quite sure. It doesn’t seem to deter Baekhyun, in fact, it’s as if he’s able to look straight through Kyungsoo. Like a bull seeing red.

“If you want me to sort you out, you just have to ask, Princess. I’ll treat your precious, rich girl body so well that you can never spread your legs again unless I tell you to.” The grin he was wearing has long worn off, eyes so sharp that you don’t want to keep them. When he wants to step closer to you again, Kyungsoo pulls his friend back by his shoulder.

“Let. her. go,” the bassy thrill of his voice makes the hairs on your neck stand up. “I’m not telling you again.”

The dirty look that Baekhyun sends the other is vicious. “Why? No one else is allowed to play with your property, is it?” Though he seems to be getting more ferocious, he loosens the grip on you. “You’re delusional, Kyungsoo. You’re just as bad of a person as I am, I don’t know why you’re acting like a saint here. Why don’t you let go of her?! At least I never put a scar on her face.” You, seemingly forgotten, fall from his hand entirely, as he closes in on the other man. “I saw you looking at her too, I’m just not afraid to admit to it. You’re delusional,” he repeats. “At least I don’t expect her to suddenly fix what a shitty human I am! Unlike you, I have self-respect!” When you step forward automatically, Kyungsoo’s hand pushes you back away, keeping you out of reach. You’re not sure why you care, but Baekhyun looks frantic. Like he can’t see the world around him anymore, too drilled down in this emotion of anger to care.

“Baekhyun, snap out,” Kyungsoo solemnly replies, not backing down when Baekhyun shoves him against the shoulder. He doesn’t even seem to listen to the words thrown at his face, Something in the Captain’s expression makes you feel like he feels at least as sad for the other as you do, if not more. Your eyes narrow a bit as you watch the both of them from the sidelines. You want to help, but you wouldn’t know how. It’s truly as if the older sees black from all sides, and Kyungsoo knows. “Hey, breathe. I’m not your enemy.”

“Fuck off, Kyungsoo! You don’t know me!” Baekhyun basically growls at his friend, pushing past him. The man stomps away with his fists clenched so tight that his bones peek out white through his skin. You stare after him until he disappears into the stairway, leaving you both standing here in silence. All your energy has depleted, and the urge to sink to the floor floods over you. But you stay standing, and instead turn back to Kyungsoo.

“Thank y-” Don’t, a voice in the back of your mind screams like an echo of your previous anger, making you swallow the rest of that. 

What Kyungsoo did was only what any other person would do. You don’t need to thank him for being a sane human being! Baekhyun was all up on you, because you’ve been taken as a captive here! You know your frustration is speaking now, but can’t help be mad. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to notice your mental tug-of-war. “Don’t— hold it against him, if you can. Baekhyun doesn’t mean to be this way, he hates it too,” his voice seems to die down the longer he speaks. “He just can’t… he wasn’t always like that. Some things still give him a very difficult time, and he has a hard time snapping out of it by himself.” He doesn’t look you in the eyes as he takes a few steps back, staring instead at your shoulder or something behind it. “I brought the rest of your stuff down. Baekhyun bought you some new things too. He thought you might like to get out of that one dress you have.” A soft sigh, as he looks at you again, storm-colored eyes dripping down your skin, as if soothing you from afar. “He seems to really like you, you’re kind to him. He hasn’t had a lot of that in life yet.”

“Right,” you just respond, biting your lips as you give a tense nod, not able to aim it towards him fully. He seems to understand, and gives a soft, understanding hum. Kyungsoo walks back after that, picking some of the thick ropes from the floor and hoisting them over his shoulder, before walking out of your view. And though you might not be able to admit it out loud, you say it internally with every fiber of your being. Thank you, Kyungsoo. Really.

     🌊🌊🌊      🌊🌊🌊      🌊🌊🌊    

.next part. 30.01.2020  as soon as possible

next part up tomorrow if all goes well!! thank you so much for reading his beast up ‘till here already~ it would mean the absolute world if you could sent me something about this one because i felt like deleting it all more times than i’d like to admit! hope you enjoyed and love you ♡♡♡

tag list @chanyeolol​ @ninibears-erigom​​ @suhoerections​ @kimjongdaely​ @byunfirstlady​ @greenmetalroof​ and @spring-medley​ pirate!kyungsoo is finally here ♡ thank you so much for helping me through this and being excited for it

[mintchocohip]

sub!bts react ⟶ recovering from a toxic relationship

requested 〉“How would BTS react to being in a toxic relationship before they met their s/o and now they are loved right and feel free to express themselves with her? (As in they can openly be submissive and open with their emotions)”

𝙏𝘼𝙀𝙃𝙔𝙐𝙉𝙂

Deep down, Taehyung knows he’s giving himself over far, far too soon. He just wants to be somebody’s sub. During the first few dates he treats you like a childhood friend. After two months he treats you like a stranger. He wants to end it, but trying to end things never worked in the past. Week by week, internal tensions build until Taehyung becomes so distant he doesn’t know if the two of you are still together. A confirmation from you that, yes, you still want to spend time with him goes over numb. The breakdown is a relief. Secrets unfold slowly. “Tell me, Taehyung. Even if it hurts me, it’s a temporary sting. Let it out now, before it becomes a deep cut.” He struggles to say it, but Taehyung wants to break up. Years alone have healing power. Loneliness arrives when he has settled into himself, and when it does, all Taehyung can daydream about is you. The reunion is slow, and careful. He gets to know you in a way he couldn’t before. Opening up about his feelings is fresh air. Finding a balance between independence and your love isn’t always easy, but Taehyung knows you’ll never hate him for his honesty.

𝙔𝙊𝙊𝙉𝙂𝙄

Even though he knows better intellectually, the person Yoongi forced himself to forget about still shapes his gut instincts about dominance. His ex tried to pull a cruel, controlling dom out of Yoongi. Early days of the relationship are filled with questions about the type of person you are. Yoongi idly wonders if you'll break his hard boundaries and steal control without permission. Having his needs fulfilled without harsh surprises leads to worshipful amazement. Yoongi nods along and agrees with your whispers that he needs to take care of himself, too. The world is full of people who fit together, but this is so easy, and Yoongi sometimes expects everything to shatter. He knows how to push through self-sabotage and regret over time he spent waiting on the promise of change. He appreciates your help. Living in the moment becomes the passage of time that doesn’t fray Yoongi apart with stress. Clear communication and acknowledgement of misunderstandings shiver him with relief. He holds tight to his own “I love you”s to avoid letting them become rote routine, but the fact that you never hold those words away from him makes Yoongi feel lucky every day.

𝙅𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙆𝙊𝙊𝙆

Jungkook believes everything has purpose. His previous relationship taught him important lessons about life. He's ready to use those lessons, and grow. Talking to your friends is a spying mission, but Jungkook needs to know―“Does Y/N have a type?” You like sweet, cute men. Jungkook opens up that side of himself like a peacock fanning its tail. He wants somebody who accepts a side of himself he hid from love for too long. It’s fun, the first few months. When the relationship approaches a year, Jungkook is shaken out of his stupor. He’s acting the same way he did before. A desire for subservience molded him into the fantasy his ex craved―a strong, "manly” man; the kind of guy who got dumped for crying tears that weren’t a light mist. Now, he’s molding himself to your fantasies, too. You just want him to be real with you. “I like acting like this. Do you like this side of me?” Cuddles and a conversation keep you and Jungkook awake on the evening before your one year anniversary. Inside, Jungkook is ecstatic that you remembered he’s never had a one year anniversary. “I do. I do. But, sometimes, I think I can see… fear, or discomfort. You’re afraid that you showed the wrong part of yourself to me. Never feel like you can’t be a complete person around me.” Jungkook can’t stop the laugh. “I always feel complete around you.”

𝙃𝙊𝙎𝙀𝙊𝙆

You were his friend first. That’s the only way this could work. Hoseok knows you, and likes you, and trusts you. Nonetheless. When sex and romance manifest, Hoseok thinks he knows what you want. Happiness and refreshment that he found somebody who loves his soft sides and doesn’t stare at him like he’s an alien when he reveals dark, angry thoughts fills Hoseok with giddy energy that could fuel a thousand cartwheels. He wants to introduce you to everyone he meets, sit back, and just watch. His last relationship was secret. He never told anybody where he was going, or what he was doing. When it was over, he hid in his apartment to work through every emotion. Hoseok holds himself up with a solid core. The moment he enters your proximity, that core melts away. It’s what he wants. It’s a relief. Warming himself up at the glow of somebody else’s soul makes him fall in love every time he wraps himself up in your arms. Casual and light-hearted love sometimes makes him feel worlds apart from you, but Hoseok understands that he can take a deep breath without feeling disoriented. This relationship is part of his happiness, and it isn’t something that needs to be denied away.

𝙅𝙄𝙈𝙄𝙉

Jimin needs time to himself. He also needs attention. He isn’t very good at balancing those two needs. Sometimes, he feels selfish. Mostly, he just gets bitter at the people who need time alone and attention, too. The fact that you push through his ultimatums and actually talk to him about where these emotions are coming from frustrates Jimin. He just wants love, love, and more love―he wants fresh heaps of love to bury the tainted affection of a short, fast relationship that consisted entirely of breaking up and making up. Your patience flutters his heart. It makes him uncertain if he deserves somebody who stays through the rises and dips. Part of him suspects you don’t cut off his neediness because you get what you want in the bedroom. Discomfort that both of you have the wrong impressions of each other fades during long conversations about needs and wants. Those conversations open Jimin up to hours of running through anything and everything on his mind. Working on solutions is a strange and almost frightening change from stagnant cycles. Jimin loves this sense of peace, though, and he loves watching you blossom with him.

𝙉𝘼𝙈𝙅𝙊𝙊𝙉

He’s been expecting too much. Namjoon realizes that. Stories about how cherished subs feel filled him with buoyant expectation. When he meets you on a BDSM app, Namjoon trusts you with his emotions instantly. The two of you have shared deep, vulnerable moments, but he wants you to know his whole world, and need his presence, and cure him of every bad memory and lingering sadness attached to the ex he can’t get over. He still updates himself with their social media. He checks to see if they look happy, and fulfilled. That was all he wanted: for them to be happy. Focusing on his own happiness feels wrong. Namjoon needs constant reassurance that having doubts and fears doesn’t make him a burden. Time and presence build the relationship slowly. His soul was threadbare when Namjoon met you. Treating you like the light cutting across a stormy sea slowly eases into something calm. He stops needing constant balms for his insecurities. Kind words, quiet understanding, and random acts of affection don’t disappear. The process is slow. Namjoon begins to accept that you aren’t giving those things to him out of a domme’s obligation; or to preemptively dry his tears. You’re giving them because you love him.

𝙎𝙀𝙊𝙆𝙅𝙄𝙉

It’s a long-distance relationship. He can manage the time and energy he puts into it simply. When negativity about the type of all-knowing financial provider his ex wished he was started, Seokjin realized something. He doesn’t want to lead. He just wants relaxation. Nothing about this is relaxing. Seokjin wants to smash his keyboard in flustered frustration with every compliment you send him. Gifts showing up in his P.O. box make him feel like he’s using you. When he asks if you can talk about something serious, you're listening. He doesn’t know what to do when he isn’t the one leading a relationship. Admitting his insecurities is relaxing. The two of you are finding a balance, and Seokjin hates the fact that, of course, he’s falling in love. Deep confessions are disguised as cheesy lines and bad romantic puns. Hiding behind over-the-top flirtation releases some of his shy energy. As years and flights become a desire for something more, Seokjin is scolding himself internally for being in so deep that he’s wondering how you feel about house husbands.

[kcostanz]

disclaimer: I’m going to be existential & sad before I turn it around

As 2020 wraps, I find myself increasingly absorbed by understanding the practices that I’m newly drawn to. The things I’ve chosen to connect with to get through what has certainly been the most unexpected year of my life, and perhaps that of billions of others. Even making such a grand statement still boggles my mind. Taking a moment to step outside of my life to acknowledge this global reality always gives much needed perspective. Life has been altered in wholly unforeseeable ways for billions of people this year. 

Exactly how our lives and worlds have been reshaped certainly looks different for each and every one of us. Our realities are constructed by so much: where we live, who we live with, what we do each day, our job, or the roles we play in society as a whole. Every life looks different, but the pandemic’s impact on these answers (and many more) is ever-changing and harshly felt. 

Reflecting on my own journey that has been navigating covid-19 and its impact on the world centers upon my age. Being 22 years old right now feels like constantly being stuck at a major life inflection point. In many ways I’m at the height of decision making- important ones at that, that will guide (the beginnings of) the rest of my life. Existential and perhaps a bit dramatic I know, but the pandemic exacerbates these emotions, so throw me a bone. 

I spent the first 21 years of my life on a set path, a regulated track that unknowingly provided an absurd amount of comfort. I went to public school K-12, graduated high school, and attended a 4-year institution, long awaiting the fantastical graduation year that for so long existed as a far-off fantasy: 2020. 

That momentous final semester was different than expected, but I can’t complain. I spent the last 3 months of college with a small handful of my closest friends, attended classes from the comfort of my bed, and graduated in my tiny apartment with two of my closest friends who hung around until the end. 

I procrastinated packing and cleaning my apartment until the last possible moment as my disapproving landlord approached to conduct the final walkthrough. Unsurprisingly, I left with a fraction of the security deposit, and the hard learned lesson that expo marker writing does not always come out of refrigerators (as the All Purpose spray, Oxi-Clean, bleach, hot water, soap, and eventually, shamefully, white paint can attest). 

With a egregiously packed car and zero rear view visibility, I was off. I blasted oldies with a twinge of liberation- I think I recall Born to Run (don’t worry, I am indeed embarrassed). I left all four windows down until I could no longer stand the sound of garbage bags flapping. Five short hours later I pulled into the driveway of my childhood home in Rochester, NY (with a broken mirror in the trunk no less- unsure if I’m superstitious but it felt like bad luck). 

The latter half of 2020- from June until now, has been full of unknowns, decision making in the dark, and hard fought self motivation. Vivid mixes of emotions old and new. 

First the dread of moving back in with parents as a young adult, and the stubborn resistance to fully unpack, so as to not get “too comfortable” at home. I now know such a thing is impossible for many reasons, one being that regardless of the lighting, art, and design, the girly pink walls of my childhood bedroom have proven immutable. 

Following this initial shock were extreme levels of self-induced pressure to find a job, do nothing but apply to jobs, and then bask in dejected feelings of never being able to get a job. While in the process, fully isolating myself from others, because I simultaneously felt I had too much to do, but yet was never really doing a thing. That concept has been fun to sit with. It comes with the realization that the carefree bliss of not having a single thing to do- say for a month long winter break- is officially gone. The list of things you could (and probably should) be doing is endless- welcome to the real world, Kate!

August was a blessed, beautiful month that, at the risk of (again) sounding dramatic, I am eternally grateful for. During this sweltering month I lived out of a car for nearly 3 weeks, camping with two pals throughout Utah and Wyoming. Even hitting a deer at 9pm, in a no-cell service zone, in the middle of a State Forest in Wyoming was a welcomed adventure at this point. A broken transmission, impromptu camping, two-hour tow truck ride, countless insurance calls, hostile car dealership conversations, two rental cars later, and we were back on track. This (incomplete) list of challenges provided beautiful life experience however, imparting lessons I could never fully know until I lived them. 

Returning home was as expected, a difficult transition back to monotony. Did I apply to vineyard jobs vaguely “out west?” Absolutely. Did I have it in me to go through with such a spontaneous life choice? Unfortunately not, though to my credit I did realize important goals that stood in the way of a dreamy vagabond existence. 

The fall has been a blur, and now there’s snow on the ground. I’ve found myself living for the future, and rarely ever for the moment, which is entirely antithetical to my personal philosophy. I have proclaimed my personal soundtrack to 2020 to be the loop of traditional Lebanese music that plays on repeat at my job as a server at Sinbad’s Mediterranean Cuisine (now as a takeout extraordinaire. And yes, despite the lack of in-person customers we are indeed instructed to play the CDs as per usual). This work, or my role as a part-time nanny is far from fulfilling (though the kids are darn cute), but that’s not the point for now. “At least I’m saving!” has been my most reliable source of positive encouragement, nearing personal mantra. 

I write this from my childhood bedroom, sitting at my desk, which was once our kitchen table circa 2002. It is as wobbly as it is sentimental, and I love it. The desk faces a window, the sill littered with glassware and candles because I have a thing against artificial light. I have a total of five notebooks, half opened, each containing swirling levels of thoughts, drawings, organization, calendars and to do lists. An orange caricature of a topless french woman sunbathing sits in front of me, reminding me that “TOUT VA BIEN!” (that everything is fine). And in minutes I will be dancing to the Moana soundtrack or drawing christmas trees and unicorns with 3 and 4 year olds. A snapshot of my life, at 22 years old, in 2020. 

Despite my life not being what I expected, or what I wanted it to look like as I embark on what’s supposed to be the most adventurous, spontaneous, and simply well-lived decade of my life, it is what it is, and as the french lady says, everything is fine. I have two part-time jobs, unforeseen savings, quality family time (both for better and for worse), my mom’s cooking, and a roof over my head. In a world with inconceivably high death tolls, rising unemployment and homelessness rates, and the constant, precarious fear of general loss, I have infinite blessings to count.

Life does feel like a giant waiting game though. How can one strategically plan out what comes next in their individual life when the entire world remains a massive question mark? In a time when we feel trapped, impatiently waiting for opportunities, experiences, and adventures to reopen, waiting feels hopeless. Because it is. If you’re unhappy with the opportunities before you, create your own.

I’m not saying I’m doing a stellar job at this myself- and as you can see I certainly struggle with my fair share of existential pessimism (day in and day out). But doing things has a certain electrifying feel that ignites and empowers you to build a meaningful life. I’m producing a web series with a group of similarly listless 20 somethings who are also doing their best to be creative and productive from the confines of their family homes. I’m practicing yoga and meditation really to cope with my own stress and internal anxieties, but in doing so am creating new habits and mindsets that will certainly outlast the pandemic. I’ve connected with a group of strangers by dancing to shamantic and electronica music in various outdoor locations throughout Rochester. Whoa! Never would I have imagined finding such deeply liberating peace through ecstatic dance of all things, but hey 2020 is full of surprises. 

This position I’m in is both uniquely my own through my personal experiences, and also shared by more people than I could imagine. Maybe only bits and pieces resonate with you, or maybe you are living your best life in the city of your dreams with a fabulous career in a lovely home with the world’s best roommates. But even if that’s you- you’re missing out on something too. The whole world is. We feel disconnected, disjointed, digitally controlled and consumed, and despite who we surround ourselves with- isolated. We’re stuck living in a world of “once this is over I’ll….” and no matter who you are it feels damn weird to spend so much time in your head dreaming of a future rather than living it out in the now. 

So… solutions? As we all know, you only have so much control during a global pandemic (very little to be exact). But what you can control is how you live your life during it. I certainly won’t preach to what works and pretend like I’ve figured it out- that work is no one’s to do but your own. But I do feel that so much comes down to mindset, perspective, mental health and ultimately finding ways to seek inner peace. 

Potential solutions are abundant, and have been explored by more people now than ever before. Though there is no recipe to conquer the inevitable fears, concerns and anxieties that accompany the pandemic and this phase of life, I’m interested in further exploring some of the ones that work for me. How is something as simple as breathing so helpful? 

Finding inner peace is a sought after skill in 2020. I have endless gratitude to all of the incredible humans who have served as a source of learning, and have helped me to tap into positive internal energy. My intention is to look into some of the causes of (my personal) covid-realted inner turmoil and the solutions that have brought some serenity into my life. Though they may not always be long lasting, some answers are better than none. Here’s to writing for no one, and thank you for listening. <3 

[justjessame]

A Little Ass and a Lotta Sass Chapter 21:  A Job...A Purpose...And a Dress

Negan found a ‘job’ for me. It came sooner than I expected, but Laura had found three other guards that I didn’t hate on sight quickly too, so the world was full of surprises.

I’d been at the Sanctuary nearly a month when he told me over dinner. My days had begun to have a sense of routine and normalcy. I’d wake up, wrapped up in Negan, he’d use all the persuasion he possessed to convince me mornings weren’t his father’s least useful gift, and we’d have breakfast. Our chats kept going, even traipsing into less than safe territories, and while I wasn’t able to make him budge on the Kingdom or Hilltop, we learned more and more about one another. Then a shared shower, dressing for the day, and he’d go off to show the community what a badass, yet fair leader he was, and I’d get started on my own day.

I had felt that Laura needed to be clued in on my ‘condition’. She needed to know that Negan wasn’t simply insanely protective of me for my own irresistible self, but that I was growing a tiny little terror inside of me that he’d no doubt burn the world down to protect. With that in mind, she didn’t blink at my daily walks through the Sanctuary and outside in the fresh air and sunshine. She became adept at knowing which way the wind was blowing, literally, because the scent of walker security was a surefire way to make me lose my breakfast.

We’d go through the marketplace, and I’d managed during one such trip, to find a book on pregnancy. I’d been a good student, but science hadn’t been my strong suit, so biology wasn’t high on my list of things to memorize. It’s how I learned that our little demon seed was practically microscopic, and I started preparing for what was coming.

And with this book in hand, my chats with Negan started to include what we were going to be experiencing. “Wait,” he said, holding up a huge hand during dinner the night he would tell me he’d decided on my role inside the Sanctuary. “How fucking big is their head gonna be again?” Yes, I’d been regaling him with the joys of childbirth, during dinner. And we’d decided to call the bean “they” since we didn’t actually know the sex. Shut up, we’re progressive.

I checked the book, and grimaced. “Around thirteen inches in circumference is the low end of the scale.” Ugh, gross. “I was a premie, so if our bean takes after me, they could be tinier.”

“You came early?” He asked, still eating somehow. “Don’t remember you telling the good doc that during your checkup.” I rolled my eyes. “Thirteen inches,” he whistled and I shot him a glare. “That’s-” he held up his hands and gave an example. “Fuck, baby girl, that’s gonna hurt.”

Asshole. I was glaring at the book, and trying not to squirm at the thought of something that size passing through me. “Yeah, but I’ll be holding your fucking hand the entire time, so better start exercising those fingers, I’d hate to fucking crush them.”

Negan laughed, and I took a drink when I looked up at his flashing eyes. “I have good news for you, sweetheart.” I put the book aside, thankful for a break from the terrifying future. “Tomorrow you go to work.”

I raised an eyebrow. Really? “Picked a job that you’re ‘willing’ to let me do, have you?” I knew I sounded cranky, but seeing as I just realized how fucking huge babies really were and the fact that he’d been so adamant that I only work at what he felt I should, well I was fucking cranky.

He leaned back in his chair and grinned. Unfazed by my irritation, which pissed me off a little more. “Yes, I have.” Those damn dimples mocked me. “I have the leaders of my outposts coming tomorrow for a meeting. They think they’re just being introduced to you, my new-” he stopped, we still hadn’t fucking given what we were a label, and EVERY time he made the ‘wife’ suggestion I gagged, at him, mind you. “They think it’s just an introduction.” He moved on, past the confusion of what the fuck we were. “You, my lovely Callie, are gonna use that wonderful talent of yours to let me know just how trustworthy my people are.”

I grinned at him. Clever, that’s Negan. My Negan, I thought, wanting nothing more than to prove myself and also, to show the fucking entire community that I wasn’t just his willing concubine. “Of course,” I answered, pushing my plate away. “What time should I be ready?”

 The next morning, after performing his duty of convincing me that sunlight was not the enemy in the most mind blowing way he could, he smacked me on my bare ass, and ordered me out of bed for breakfast. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, Negan had begun beating the delivery people to the punch. I swear to fucking hell, he was waking me up earlier and earlier, and I would one day smother myself with a fucking pillow to stop it, but he took great pleasure of waiting with our living area door open so they couldn’t interrupt or fucking knock.

Fucker, I thought, as I tugged on my morning outfit of whatever shirt he’d tossed off the night before, grabbing a pair of panties that I’d ONLY don during breakfast, and meeting him in the living room. I have to say, watching him wait for breakfast with the same glee I probably waited for presents on Christmas morning, was hilarious. I swear, once he’d decided to take away the unknown power that our food delivery person had over us, he became a fucking child. One day, soon probably, he was going to hide behind the open fucking door and shout “BOO” when he jumped out just to get a new fucking thrill.

I was shaking my head, and getting the dirty dishes from dinner gathered, when I felt him creep up behind me. His arms wrapped around me and he propped his head on top of mine. “Have I ever told you how fucking hot you look wearing my shirts?” His hands were smoothing down my still pretty damn flat stomach, teasing the soft fabric of his t-shirt. “When you come out here every fucking morning in one, it’s all I can do to fight the fucking urge to lay you down on this fucking table and have YOU for breakfast.”

I could hear the rawness in his voice and my stomach clenched with the picture he was painting. Me, laid out, much like our first flirtation on the dinner table in Alexandria, only naked this time and being savored. Jesus, I swallowed at the fucking burn growing across my skin.

He was dipping his head to nibble along my neck when we heard a throat clear. I nearly laughed, nearly because I fully remembered Rule Number 1, and also because for ONCE this wasn’t my fault. Ha. I felt his groan against my skin, and then he pulled away and stalked to our open door. Letting go of a silent giggle, I took the empty dishes to the door to hand them to the poor guy standing there being glared at by Negan.

He took them from me, and I offered what I hoped was a sympathetic smile. Then closing the door, I rejoined the father of my child at the table. Negan was setting the table, something I’d reluctantly become used to, and he held out my chair for me as always. We sat and discussed what I could expect from the meeting he’d planned for the morning.

“Any preferences for what I should wear?” I asked, eating my food without argument. Another concession I’d made during the past month. Why fight the serving sizes? Especially since, and I’d never admit it to Negan, but I was growing more and more hungry by the day.

He considered my question, knowing it didn’t come from a place of vanity. I wanted to be seen as formidable, but also as Negan’s whatever the hell I was to Negan. “One of the dresses?” It came out as a question, mostly because I hadn’t chosen to wear one of them yet. I could tell he wasn’t certain I liked dresses. “They’re all pretty functional, pockets, good length should shit go wrong.” He was building a case for why he’d given them to me, I could see, and I smiled to show him I got it.

I nodded, wanting to sigh because today panties would be a requirement. Fuck, I thought, I hate underwear. We ate, talked about the day, and then he reminded me of another appointment we had today. “Dr. Carson says you’re due for another checkup.” I gave another nod. Yeah, it had been about a month, another checkup would be routine at this point. “I’m thinking after the meeting, we’ll have lunch and head to the infirmary.”

“Sounds fun.” My tone showed exactly how not fun I found the idea.

A shower, brief this morning, since we had so much to do. Then we were back in our bedroom, Negan having a simple task of tossing on his usual outfit. Me, well, I was opening the section of the closet that I’d ignored until now. Dresses. I didn’t hate wearing them, but a part of me wondered how wife-like I’d be looking in one. As I’m flicking through the offerings, I pull out one that makes me question just what kind of fantasies my personal sex machine may harbor for me.

“Negan, baby?” I ask, glancing at him and holding up the very plaid dress I’m holding up. “Is there something you want to share with the class about this?”

His eyes are twinkling as his grin grows. “I thought you’d look hot in it, princess.” Uh huh, in a tartan plaid dress that hints at a schoolgirl fantasy if I’ve ever seen one.

 “Gotta say, Coach, I fucking hated gym, but I’m pretty fucking certain this wasn’t the uniform.” I started to put it away, cute as it was I was pretty sure that wasn’t the image I was going for today. His arms wrapped around me and he nuzzled his face in the curve of my shoulder. “Really?” I whispered, wanting more information, just so I understood. “Is it because of my size, or-”

His laughter against my skin forced a new rush of need to roll through me. “I’m not a fucking pedo, Callie.” He kissed my neck and I could feel his smile against my skin. “You’re so fucking tiny, and I saw it, and fuck if it didn’t give me an idea or two.”

Ah, I bit my lip, running my own scenario through my mind. “I think we’re going to explore those ideas, Negan,” my voice a breath, “soon.”

Another laugh, and another swat on my panty covered ass. “Get dressed, woman.”

I mumbled about the fucking need for panties, the need for a dress, the fucking irritation of having to be awake and dealing with this shit. My hands landed on a wine colored sleeveless wrap dress. Mesh covered the shell which was made of stretchy fabric, and it did have pockets. I wrapped it around me, happy that I didn’t have to change the bra and panty set I’d chosen and smoothed it down so it settled just above my knees. If it was ever necessary, I actually could fight in it. Impressed at Negan’s care in choosing my wardrobe, once again, I pulled out a pair of ballet flats and a pair of canvas sneakers. As I was deciding, Negan offered his choice.

“Sneakers, babe.” He was pulling on his leather jacket, and watching me intently. I raised an eyebrow wondering at his choice, but didn’t argue. They were cute, and they worked, so I tied them on.

He came over to fix my necklace, as I brushed and braided my hair. Dropping a kiss on the bare skin of the back of my neck, he smiled at me in the mirror’s reflection. “You look good enough to fucking eat, darlin’.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” I answered with a smile. “Should we head out?”

I was nervous. I’d met the people around us, fighting to keep hold of their names. And while Laura and Arat were becoming more familiar to me daily, the rest were kept at a distance. And here I was heading to meet the men and women Negan trusted to act in his stead at the outposts. Places that my family had attacked and killed at. As butterflies fought in my stomach, Negan’s hand took mine, and together with Lucille we made our way to meet these leaders, meet them and have me pass judgement, I corrected myself.

Hopefully, I’d find nothing and no one amiss, but I didn’t count that as likely. Negan surrounded himself with people who were fighters and survivors, and I knew, better than most what it took to become either.

[theliterarywolf]

So, Let’s Talk ‘Love Death and Robots’ (Episodes 1-9)

Netflix's newest foray into the world of adult-oriented animation Love Death and Robots is one more nail in the coffin of the notion that any adult cartoon has to suck off the teat of Family Guy or South Park.

The spiritual successor to the 80s sci-fi animation anthology Heavy Metal (in more ways than one, since LDaR was originally supposed to be a Heavy Metal reboot but lack of funding and copyright hell got in the way), Love Death and Robots gives us 18 different short stories brought to the screen in the medium of animation that range in all emotions from shock, horror, disgust, sympathy, hope, and, yes, even sadness.

Just like I did with Season 4 of Black Mirror, I am going to give my personal thoughts on each segment for those who want to know what they're getting into. However, since each of the stories in Love Death and Robots only range between 8 and 17 minutes, I will not go into spoilers.

Also, to do things a bit differently, I will also add in the ratings of 'Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?', to reveal if the sci-fi elements in a story were prominent or if it was more fantasy-oriented, and 'Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?' to reveal, well, just that.

Tl:Dr – I personally found Love Death and Robots to be a very-much welcome breath of fresh air to both the fields of adult animation and anthology shows. I forget what medium/site posted it but there's the sentiment of Love Death and Robots being what Black Mirror has been striving to be for its past two seasons.

And, yes, that comment is pretty damn appropriate. Love Death and Robots elegantly combines the darkness and unease of the technological unknown of the scientific condition with looks at the human condition as well as snarky dark humor. If you can stand blood, gore, and the occasional female-presenting nipple, you should definitely give it a watch.

And now, for the actual thoughts on each story individually. Remember, no spoilers.

Episode 1 - Sonnie's Edge

Be still, my Teratophile heart. Love Death and Robots' first entry hits the ground running, slashing, and biting with a strong female character and the dismal underground world that she’s successfully made her bitch. The first half of this short grabs you and doesn't let go until the second half starts and, admittedly, slows things down. Breathtaking for sure, Sonnie's Edge isn't my personal favorite of the anthology, but I can definitely see where a good chunk of the money went for LDaR.

… I also see this story getting the same treatment by tumblr that this website did to the San Junipiero episode of Black Mirror.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Bio-Mechanical Engineering of minor-kaiju type monsters. Also, the mental link software used for fighters to connect with said creations.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes to a TV series of Sonnie's Edge. Unlike some of the other stories in LDaR, the nuances and universe set up by the brief glance we got would work wonders if worked into a 12 episode show.

Episode 2 – Three Robots

In the biggest full-frontal flip of tone, Three Robots yanks us out of the grimy Cyberpunk future of Episode 1, to a comedic look at a post-apocalyptic one with our titular three robots taking a sight-seeing tour through a long-decimated city. Discussions are had about human nature from a neutral, but still comical, outside point of view and that's all I will say because, going any further will bring in spoilers.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Three of them, in fact, each representing a different aspect of robotics: one sleek and cold-looking, one humanoid with a neutral face, and the human-friendly models.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

Honestly... No. The story, as well as its ending serve their purpose best at the length and scope it has in its run-time.

Episode 3 – The Witness

'Yeah, but –'

No.

'If you just –'

No.

'It really is one of the best on--'

NAH, G, THIS AIN'T IT!

There needs to be a phrase: 'Cool Universe; Shit Story, Brah' to slap onto pieces of media that have a great aesthetic and a great universe on display... But just an awful story.

Because The Witness fits that phrase to a tee. If anything, the only aspect that The Witness has going for it is the stark color scheme against the dismal urban landscape and the sex.

Lots. And. Lots of boob-shots and bush-shots in this one, folks.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Did it? I don't even know what kind of technology was displayed in this episode. Apartment-based leather sex-clubs?

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

This would probably have been much better if it had an hour or so to build up the characters and the twist rather than flashing everything at a breakneck pace and forcing us to sit through a drag of a story.

Episode 4 – Suits 

(No gif for this one; tumblr, you guys are slacking)

Best. In. Fucking. Show.

This one is definitely one of my top two favorites for the entire series. Everything is there: character, universe, writing, it's all great. Especially since, considering that it follows the 'Last Stand' trope and it would have been extremely easy for the writers to go 100% grim and miserable.

No, that... * sigh * that comes later.

You like farmers? You like mechas? You like farmers in mechas fighting aliens? You will now!

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Yes, several of them!

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

If we ever got to a point where Pixar made films for adult audiences, a feature-length look at the universe of Suits would be the vein they would need to hit.

Just maybe with a less noticeable frame-rate 'style'.

I'd also like to add this: a lot of people these days seem to have the issue with sci-fi and fantasy-oriented media because they feel as though they only cater to kids/teens (either the characters will be 'young adults fighting “teh systemzz” or high school bullshit). That and the worlds depicted don't draw anyone in due to how... unrelatable they are.

The fact that the characters in Suits are your typical hard-working, middle-aged farmers just trying to live their lives... while still having to fight carnivorous aliens in mecha-suits re-purposed from farming equipment really makes the short seem that much more human.

Episode 5 – Sucker of Souls

(No gif, again...)

Oh boy! The Castlevania Cinematic Universe looks great!

Seriously, this was the first moment during my viewing of LDaR were I was left wondering 'I thought... this was a sci-fi anthology..?'

That being said, though, I'm always a sucker for unique hand-drawn animation and the abrasiveness of the characters flow nicely together. Even though you can pretty much tell, at the five minute mark, that things may not end up too well, it's a fun ride in the same vein as the Brendan Fraser Mummy films.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Well, you see, the thing is, I – No.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

It probably could be a good Adult Swim animated series (in the same vein as The Venture Bros). But, other than that, it stands fine on its own.

Episode 6 – When the Yogurt Took Over

(Gif not from the show but still appropriate)

This... Seems to be the dividing point for a lot of people in regards to LDaR. You have a lot of people saying 'Oh, this one was dumb; it didn't make sense' or 'the animation was too cute to be so gruesome'.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. However, a lot of the people complaining that it was dumb or didn't make sense probably didn't grow up with the same dark comedy/gallows humor that many of us did/have sought out. Things like Little Shop of Horrors, Dr. Strangelove, Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei, Dead Like Me, Metalocalypse, Black Dynamite (the animated series), and others that I can't find right now because Google keeps trying to recommend me to Family Guy of all things when I type in my searches.

The story here is short, poignant, and pretty close to home despite the title giving you what you're getting on the tin.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Not really a robot... But the scientists in the story were working with genetic engineering. So, there you go.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

Mm... No. This is another 'watch it as is and get the best effect' story.

One more thing, though: The Narrator of this story is none other than Maurice LaMarche.

Mother-fucking BRAIN from Pinky and the Brain!

Episode 7 – Beyond the Aquila Rift

It is... so hard to do Cosmic Horror correctly in recent times. The notion of creating tales that show just how small we are in the grand-scheme of the sleeping nightmare behemoths who keep the universe running in the space between their frantic thoughts... Is overwhelming to a lot of people. So a lot of first-time attempts at it ultimately fail.

This story, Beyond the Aquila Rift, is one of my favorite entries to LDaR. Right up there with Suits.

And I will leave it at that.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Space-travel, hibernation gel/tubes, space-stations.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

And even that is a hard maybe because while you could build up the characters and their relationships a bit more, the resolution of this story works fine either way.

Episode 8 – Good Hunting

Is... Issat – Is that GOOD Steampunk in front of me? Oh Lord, it's been years! More hand-drawn animation for this one but the way it melds not only technology, magic, imperialism, and friendship but still incorporates the message that technology and progress can be used for great good and great evil... It depends on the morality of those wielding/pushing for it... Is really a high point in both writing and execution.

The animation, especially whenever the technological aspect comes in, really shines.

… You know, in hindsight, that last line could be seen in bad taste.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

The whole set-up is British Imperialist forces bringing Steampunk and subjugation to China. So, yeah, a lot of copper and a lot of steam in here.

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

I know I've been shoving everything into 'could shine as a film on its own' category, but Good Hunting really is the type of story I would love to see expanded out and directed by someone like the late Satoshi Kon (Paranoia Agent, Paprika, Millennium Actress).

Episode 9 – The Dump

(Honestly, I’m not even sad that I can’t find a gif for this one)

This one... Ah... This one.

I ... Hm.

Y-you want to see old, dangly redneck penis? Y-you see old, dangly redneck penis for a good few seconds in this one.

But, yeah, this one is definitely... a story. Your typical 'stuffy white-guy pencil-pusher comes to scare old, grungy countryman off of his land/old, grungy countryman decides to tell stuffy white-guy pencil-pusher the story of why he's on said land...

And to go any further would be spoilers.

It's not bad, it's just... Interesting.

Did it Have a Robot – Yes? Or No?

Well, it depends. Do you see pollution as more an aspect of sci-fi or an aspect of socioeconomic discussion?

Could this Stand Its Own as a Feature Film/TV Series?

I don't think anyone would want to see more of this story in either form, truth be told. It exists fine on its own.

And that's Part 1 of my little write-up on Love Death and Robots. This got a little long so I'll be posting Part 2 tomorrow and linking it HERE when I do! Seriously, if you can you should definitely watch the series and support some good adult animation so Netflix will push for more stuff like LDaR, Bojack Horseman, Aggretsuko, and The Kirlian Frequency... And less stuff like that damn 'Brickleberry But They're COOOPS This Time~!!'

[tumblunni]

Why is gyan amakano so cute. It should be illegal. I hate how he has such a huggable design and then his character is totally wasted on being half super evil jerkman half Every Fat Stereotype Simultaneously. Like seriously how did this even HAPPEN

Artist: ok so ive drawn this round softman in a cute lil fancy tuxedo who always carries lollipops in his back pocket

Writers: ah yes, the perfect Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Or like..

Writers: we need an Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Artist: dont worry bro i got ya *draws a big circle with a happy face*

Or of course theres the alternative universe where nobody involved in this project ever noticed that this character design looks fuckin precious, but i dont want to live in that world

And then he's only in!! Two episodes!! And theyre so weird and not great!! Its like they kept changing their mind whether he was meant to be funny or scary. Goes from "ha ha a fat man enjoys cookies" to "he literally wants to make cannibal cookies out of humans" to "but ha ha look he's cosplaying as the genie from aladdin, lets go back to laughs now".

And also they made him be a huge jerk to Are Bacchino and that pisses me off!! Its already a bit shitty that they made a character whose entire "joke" is that he has ocd/germaphobia and its meant to be funny? Somehow? That he has this mental illness? And is frequently exposed to stuff that terrifies him?? Funny how???? But then theres a really rather disturbing montage of Gyan punishing his sidekick by straight up triggering his phobia and YIKES MAN sorry thats even more evil than the cannibalism! Also why was it drawn all overly detailed and Saw-esque?? Why did we need so much art effort put into showing dirty feet and a guy being forced to stick his hand in a shit filled toilet. Was this someone's goddamn fetish or something???

So yeah. Upset.

U P S E T T I. R E G R E T T I.

I'm so mad they wasted a cool character deisgn and cool concept on such a shitty execution. Like even the plot could have been cool? They could have got a lot more episodes out of the idea of these two runnibg thru fairytale books and cosplaying as different classic villains. And if theyd just made a damn decision and gone with either funny cute or scary bad then it could have worked! Personally i am voting for funnycute obv course. But also thatd work best with this plot, it would have been better if it was just a low stakes goofy adventure with something like "oh this dude wants to find the legendary magic wish thingie to wish for a lifetime supply of chocolate and our heroes wanna wish for something actually important so thats why they fight". Could have even added some drama cos like he doesnt know the thing is actually dangerous and then what if he ends up possessed by it and you still get a fight with him thats pretty high stakes without having this weird inconsistant personality thing. Could be quite a dramatic twist to suddenly have comedy villain man as a genuine threat! Ans could be a way to resolve it all with friendship cos you could have Are Bacchino teaming up with the heroes to save his boss and then Gyan is like "whoa i guess you guys were 100% right all along" when he gets saved from his own bigass mistake and all. And then THE GAMES COULD ACTUALLY MAKE HIM PLAYABLE PERHAPS, JUST SAYIN

Also PLEASE rewrite like every single thing about the relationship between the two of them. Please take whoever said "yeah gyan should outright torture his one and only friend with a messed up Saw movie ocd-triggering machine" and throw them out the window. Consider this: what if..they were actually...friend. Like i feel they'd have enough comedy potential already just from being a "rival mafia" thats literally two people who are ludocrously incompetant at everything they do and only ever succeed at (literally) stealing candy from babies. Play up that side of things more! No need to throw random super evil shit at the funnymen to make them seem more intimidating, theyre at their best when theyre not intimidating at all. And you could still have the same gag of the fairytale world forms always being Gyan as some sort of classic villain and Are as a talking carpet or whatever, like just say thats how the magic works instead of Gyan doing it on purpose to be a jerk. And you could even still have Are being the funny underdog just from sheer bad luck instead of being purpisely mistreated by every single character in the entire cast. Or have it that Gyan is just a bit of a bumbling idiot boss who doesnt notice his mistakes and Are is like the hypercompetant sidekick who always ends up taking the consequences of those mistakes because he's like an overportective bodyguard. Which could also be a way to establish some cute friendship moments! Like i dunno someone's about to throw a pie at Gyan and Are does an overdramatic diving save and a whole fake death scene from the sheer horror of getting banana cream frosting on his suit. "Boss...go on without me..." *cough choke* And Gyan is like *equally overdramatic tears* "He made the ultimate sacrifice! I will avenge him!!" *charges forward to fight the heroes and just gets easily beat up like usual* And then its like *even more continually dramatic narration* "and the boss was beaten and bruised, but he carried me for miles through wind and storm" *over footage of like ridiculously impossible heroic adventures thay clearly didnt happen* And then it just cuts to the two of them sitting at like...ye olde fantasy laundromat. Are sobbing like "oh boss i'll never forget this" and Gyan is just like *thought bubble* "i wish i got to eat that pie tho"

I dunno maybe im naive but i just think shows are generally more fun when characters actually like each other and have motivations beyond self interest. Obvipusly not EVERY character has to be like that, but nobody is ever kind at all in the damn anime whether theyre villain or hero. And also specifically these sorts of minor role villains can benefit a lot from being fleshed out this way to become way more memorable! Like gin and kin became way better in Psychic Specters when they got the added trait of loving and cherishing their little brother. (To the point of it being a literal battle power that made their horribly hard boss fight even worse, lol!)

Also just...plz dont make a man so cute if hes meant to be big badness. Like seriously Are looks scarier than him and Are is like the least scary man to ever have those scary ass eyes! Smol depressed man with ocd and tol round lollipops friendo. I WANT TO LOVE THEM

Im gonna just cross my arms and sit here stubbornly hoping for The Anime/Game Effect to kick in. Like 99% of all characters in the anime are jerks and even when anime originals end up cameoing in the games they tend to become generally nicer and more well developed as people. So fingers crossed for a yw4 appearance thats full cute and 0% cannibalism!!!

Seriously fuckin.. CANNIBALISM

Why does the anime do that so much as a "funny" "joke"? The episode where Jerry murders a sentient dessert yokai in graphic gory detail still haunts me. "Ha ha its funny because technically theres no blood so we can show her gasping for breath with a hole in her lungs as a man eats her corpse" Did they put the entire budget into that one death animation??? Oh no cos they saved at least a little of it for the Herbiboy Gets Murdered By A Lawnmower episode T_T

Anime why u be this way.

[tenacious-scripturient]

a run-down of / my thoughts on the novel ‘trade secrets’

so! i’ve recently finished this beautifully written novel by @bettsican​, and am anxiously anticipating for the second book in the trilogy! (seriously, give it a read. it’s a great lgbtq+ thriller and mystery story, i promise you’ll love it!! you can find trade secrets in many places, including amazon, where it’s only $6)

as i was reading it, i noted down all the thoughts i had. it was fun, interesting, and kept me on the edge of my seat!

oh, and spoiler warning, of course.

Chapter One

okay. this is interesting. why are they in paris? or rather, why are they NOT in paris?

2080. damn.

who is cooper hall and why is he important i want to knowwwwwwww

Chapter Two

HOLY FUCK

CHAPTER ONE WAS A PROLOGUE

OKAY IF I DIDNT NEED TO BEFORE I HAVE TO READ IT NOW

-ahem- anyway

nate literally everything you think of has to relate to smoking, doesnt it?

clyde you absolutely bitch raccoon

im sort of piecing together what’s happening here? either way this is a SUPER interesting concept.

i love the idea of every word being important

nate look at you being a nice guy. testing the CAPS before giving them to ur clients

or maybe it’s just good business

but whatever

okay, so credits are money in this world. but how do people get them? obviously there’s what nate’s doing but what’s the legal way to get them? ill probably find out soon

if it wasnt explicitly said by betty that nate ends up with another guy (i forget his name. cooper?) i would have thought audry was the romantic interest

audry you loving caring hypocrite

i feel like she’s gonna be one of my favourite characters

who is this young man that dares disturb nate’s slumber

cooper? cooper.

Chapter Three

nate get up

u turtle get up and hurry down the stairs

or—okay you can fall into that drywall that works too

ohhhhh so nate is a detective. that’s interesting

i also love this idea of keeping secrets (haha trade secrets)

dude are you sure that your embarrassing entrance wasn’t the ONLY reason you blushed? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIG—

nate ur spending an awful lot of time looking at his features you funky little bisexual

oh damn ur smarter than u seem, just watching him take a single breath and you’re already making connections. i guess that’s why he’s a detective

im gonna assume this is cooper, even tho it never explicitly says so

i feel like we aren’t gonna get his name for a while, bc clients and whatnot and not getting attached

Chapter Four

NATE WEARS GLASSES???????

that’s kind of cute

im lowkey gay rn

anyway

NATE CALLED HIM SWEET-FACED AND PRETTY-FACED O K A Y

oh he has curly brown hair

and oh the glasses aren’t real glasses. oh. the use is actually pretty cool!

so from what im gathering civilians are people who don’t live in sanctuaries, and lemnis are people who do?

cooper sweetie why do u need so much money what have u done

nate’s pretty clever

HAH I WAS RIGHT WE AREN’T GONNA GET HIS NAME FOR A WHILE

well that’s that i guess

Chapter Five

he’s so timid awh

hehe he’s on nate’s bed

sorry

goddammit man calm down or else you’re gonna get everyone in a 5-mile radius around you arrested

wait…. zero-credit balance?? didn’t he just have a few hundred thousand credits???

OH THIS IS A FAKE PROFILE HE MADE

so cooper isn’t his real name either

oh

Chapter Six

oh we’re back to 2080

oh they’re back in the apartment??

it was obvious before but at this point it’s confirmed that they’re going to be doing some travelling together or something

Chapter Seven

this is getting really interesting i dont wanna stop reading and type everything that comes to mind

these are gonna be shorter now hehe

“i’d been a petri dish of mixed emotions and wild chemical changes for half the day” I LOVE THAT METAPHOR LMFAO

what happened with nate’s mom

i want to know

my prediction: she wanted him to either change up or completely remove the chip bc she did something horrible? or maybe she just wanted to leave idk im bad at predictions

either way it said she was crazy

o h

that’s why he’s terrified of cutting the chip

poor nate

Chapter Eight

oh this is strangely intimate

very intimate

i feel that, because cooper has such high pain tolerance (or doesn’t show pain), he has some backstory for it

Chapter Nine

lmao nate just went off didnt he

THEIR FLIRTING IS CUTE FHJKJDLSKAJDKLSJAK

also is being lgbtq+ widely accepted as the norm in this setting? bc nate considered cooper to be flirting with him

ughhhh it’s so good so far, from the character interactions to the suspense, especially in this chapter

Chapter Ten

rude cooper is rude, rude nate is even more rude

F E D O R A

“coop”

Chapter Eleven

aw i love jimmy already—

WHAT THE FUCK COOPER

EXCUSE ME

JIMMY

WHAT

HOW COULD YOU

goddammit

what the fuck is cooper hiding

cooper oh my god

you

you’re playing a dangerous game, mate

are you really that heartless

“deceptively innocent eyes” you got that right

this chapter hurted

thanks a lot jess

Chapter Twelve

“like a weeping wound on the canvas of my home” this has got to be one of my favourite similes ever omg

the way nate’s describing cooper makes my heart hurt awh

i feel like butterflies have some sort of symbolism

maybe being ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside, or vice versa? the vice versa was basically cooper lol

aye we finally get to meet audry!!

PEANUT BUTTER AND TRICYCLE I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT

i love audry omg

IT’S NATE’S BIRTHDAY?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA SMOKEY CONMAN

“bright eyes” is the cutest nickname ever

Chapter Thirteen

oh we’re back to 2080

wait what they’re trapped together

is this story gonna have a sad ending

please no

Chapter Fourteen

OH IT’S THE LINE ON THE COVER

i like that

nate’s back to where he left cooper

also if it wasn’t obvious before, it’s definitely obvious now that nate and cooper or gonna find each other again. hm. not sure how i feel about that

kind of pissed at cooper but also we need him for the story to progress

O H

COOPER IM ONLY KIND OF PISSED AT YOU NOW

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

NATE IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT YOU’RE PRETTY CLEVER

also who is ‘her’?

COOPER WANTS TO BECOME A?? LEMNIS?? GODDAMMIT MAN

I CAN FEEL THE PRESSURE RISING

nate’s in danger

wow this chapter is

a lot

i need a break

-cue a break-

Chapter Fifteen

i’m back

eisley is a cool last name

oh wait so even people outside of sanctuaries can become a lemniscate

i’m still not 100% sure what a lemniscate is

it’s so ironic elijah’s last name is king, but i assume you did that on purpose. i also like the slight nod to royalty by his first name

OH

COOPER’S BACK

why hello there

Chapter Sixteen

they’re

competing

to become a lemniscate

and one of them dies

do they fight back?? is that why they end up in prison??? so many thoughts are going through my head right now

nate, your fantasy about becoming a lemniscate is surprisingly dark. i’m totally down for it

Chapter Seventeen

oh wait so joshua is cooper’s blackmailer?? Interesting that it’s a lemniscate

i keep forgetting nate is wearing glasses

cooper, my dude, calm the fuck down. you’re gonna get yourself and nate killed

it’s the return of soft™ nate

Chapter Eighteen

oh there’s another one

oh this is very ominous i don’t like

Chapter Nineteen – Twenty-One

okay i was eating while i read so i couldn’t type here but just know that these chapters were really really good

Chapter Twenty-Two

wait fuck what’s happening this is all happening so fast

cooper brought out his gun,,,, it’s aimed at ivonne,,,,,,, they’re walking,,,

OH IT WAS A FAKE KIDNAPPING

nice

i like ivonne a lot

Chapter Twenty-Three

the entire story just changed course

this isn’t just about cooper and nate anymore, it’s about a corrupt government

NATE AND COOPER ARE HOLDING HANDS AS THEY RUN THROUGH THE BARRIER THAT’S SO ROMANTIC

also the line “only the dead are ever truly free” is beautiful

THAT’S WHERE PARIS COMES IN

THEY ALL GO TO FRANCE DON’T THEY

I’m so curious to find out where this story is going

Chapter Twenty-Four

this is doin me a confusion

but tbh these hints/ visions of the future, if you could call them that, are giving just enough information to keep me super interested. props to you

Chapter Twenty-Five

AUDRY STOP TEASING NATE

just joking keep doing it, this might actually get their relationship somewhere

ivonne is definitely my favourite character so far. she reminds a little of melia from xenoblade chronicles, in that they’re both ‘royalty’ that rebel. also they’re badass and smart

oh fuck the brother is here

okay thank god he’s not an asshole

oh god things are happening again

Chapter Twenty-Six

nate stop ogling at cooper when you’re in a life-or-death situation

holy shit the lemniscate are messed up

this crew is pretty great, it sucks that it’s almost the end of the book

WAIT I FORGOT THERE’S A SECOND COMING SOON HECK YEAH

anyway

YES COOPER PULL THROUGH

awwww yiss

Chapter Twenty-Seven

oh

oh

O H

oh my god i ship them so hard

THEY KISSED

THIS IS SO STEAMY

this chapter was art thank you so much for this

Chapter Twenty-Eight

AHAHAH AUDRY

once again, i’d like to state how much i love her

oh the tension just grew twentyfold

this is… great

oh god nate what are you planning, you just got together with cooper and now you want to leave him?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

what’s with all the dancing?

Chapter Thirty

oh god the description

so he’s going around and giving people credits, all the while confessing things that would help the lemniscate track him down. i assume this means he’s going to die, but why?

just what are you planning?

oh we’re back to clyde, the guy who started it all. it feels full circle

Chapter Thirty-One

OH

HE’S MAKING HIS CHIP SHOW THAT HE’S DEAD

that’s much smarter

FUCK

NATE YOU IDIOT—COOPER’S REAL NAME

SHIT NOW KING IS HERE

everything’s going downhill now isn’t it

Chapter Thirty-Two

wait that took an even darker turn

there’s so much happening right now i can’thandlethis

cooper and nate are couple goals

Chapter Thirty-Three

king isn’t as horrible as i thought

still horrible, but not a monster

NEVER MIND YOU’RE A FUCKING MONSTER WHAT IS THIS BS

cooper

actually

shot

nate

Chapter Thirty-Four

OH MY GOD

WHAT

THIS IS HOW YOU END IT

I CAN’T

HOW DARE YOU

NO

NO

NO

NO

i need the next book

like right now

what the hell

Final Thoughts

okay so this book was SO good, and so well written. like damn

aside from that horrible ending how could you do this to me

i’m joking, it was an incredible and emotional ending, i loved it and hated it at the same time

it very rarely felt static, and especially in the first half, there was a good mix of action and backstory/description. it was never boring

the story is just,,, so unique. i seriously haven’t read anything like it, EVER

the world-building?? Is?? so vast?? and insane??

the increasing tension and speed as the story progressed is perfect, i felt my heart beating faster the more i read

anyway that’s all from me

this book was amazing i cannot wait for the next

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #16: Favorite Evil Weapon/Object

1.       Stormbringer (Elric of Melnibone)

The Black Blade. Daughter of Arioch. The Stealer of Souls. One of the single most legendary swords in all of fantasy, present in every universe in at least one form or another. A demon of chaos bound by the Lords of Law into the shape of a weapon. Whoever wields it can drain the souls from whoever they stab and sustain themselves with it, but is driven by a terrible hunger. The Black Blade has a will of its own, and it howls for blood as it is swung. In short, the definitive evil weapon.

What makes Stormbringer stand out from its later imitators, and even previous legendary evil weapons, is how it affects its primary wield, Elric of Melnibone. As an albino, Elric is sickly, and usually uses medicine and dark magic to stay alive. But abroad in the Young Kingdoms, Elric has to rely on Stormbringer to survive. Even as Elric connects with people outside his home kingdom, they are bound to die whenever he needs to stay alive, no matter how much Elric tries to fight it. Stormbringer is essentially a manifestation of Elric’s burden as the Champion of Balance, but also his greater isolation that distances him from being able to make connections. Elric makes it clear that Stormbringer isn’t some kind of ultimate weapon, it’s a crutch, a drug that ultimately consumes its user. And in the end, that’s what happens to Elric; when the entire universe is consumed by chaos, Stormbringer finally turns on Elric before disappearing into the apocalypse.

2.       Soul Edge/Soul Calibur (Soulcalibur)

So this is honestly cheating, but I just can’t pick between the two swords. Soul Edge is the clear Stormbringer descendent and looks rad as hell to boot. Even more that Stormbringer, Soul Edge looks like a living, breathing monster. It can even shapeshift into weapons that aren’t sword, and it had an entire life cycle in Soulcalibur 2. But Soul Edge never really stopped being the ‘bad’ sword. It’s counterpart, Soul Calibur, on the other hand, started off as the ‘good’ sword. But as the series went on, Soul Calibur began to change. In Soulcalibur 4 it was hinted that Soul Calibur might have a mind of its own as well, and it might not have the purest intentions. By Soulcalibur 5, the plot hook came to fruition; Soul Calibur is just as dangerous as Soul Edge and wants to trap the world in a perfect unchanging state. The swords have become the embodiments of Law and Chaos; the Michael Moorcock reference comes full circle. All we need now is a game where Soul Calibur is out of control and the only thing that can stop it is Soul Edge.

3.       The Terror Mask (Splatterhouse)

The Terror Mask has sass, the Terror Mask has a personality. Half these evil artifacts are just kind of generically malevolent; they won’t yell at you in Jim Cummings’ voice and call you a pussy when you notice one of your arms is missing. There’s a surprising amount of lore invested in the Terror Mask. An entity from the space between spaces, it fled the cosmic horror gods until they bound it in a bone mask. Now it’s out to settle the score, and whoever is wearing it just happens to be along for the ride. Granted, the wearer of the mask turns into a hulking slasher ogre that is almost impossible to kill. The Splatterhouse games are a gateway into the video game id, replete with monsters, ultra-violence, and a hero so buff he puts the ‘masculine’ in ‘toxic masculinity’. The Terror Mask, like in the game, is just a way to get to that special kind of hell.

4.       The Necronomicon Ex Mortis (Evil Dead)

The Necronomicon Ex Mortis is probably the most famous evil book in the world, probably more so than Lovecraft’s original Necronomicon. (Frankly, I could do an entire list on favorite evil books, but we’ll get there when we get there.) The Ex Mortis really doesn’t have a lot to do with Lovecraft besides the name, other than that they are both old, sanity-rending, and bodies of literature. But, being honest, the Ex Mortis is just the more fun of the two. The Ex Mortis is the party-boy of evil books to the original Necronomicon’s Ivy League scholar. It’s such an embodiment of Sam Raimi horror; gory, campy, with a bit of slapstick thrown in, and its mere presence causes weirdness to happen. The Necronomicon Ex Mortis contains knowledge of things man was not meant to know, and it knows it. It’s mischievous, and it’d almost be lovable if it wasn’t also full of immensely powerful black magic.

5.       The One Ring (Lord of the Rings)

I’ve always been interested by the concept that the One Ring can think for itself. The One Ring is, ultimately, an incredibly loyal evil artifact, and is only interested in new yielders insofar as they can deliver it back to Sauron. The Ring really is an apt counterpart for the hobbits; a little thing, defenseless, almost useless at first glance, but capable of changing the world. The Ring also has a pedigree, of course. It shares more than few traits with the Ring of Nibelung from the Wagnerian cycle of operas of the same name. The Nibelung Ring, like the One Ring, can grant the wearer power over the world, but only if they renounce love. In time, the covetousness of men and gods for the ring destroys the world and brings about Ragnarok. The One Ring is a reflection of the Ring of Nibelung, but also vastly different in many respects. It brings about the end of the gods and immortals, but only because they were staying to try and destroy it. The end of the Ring and of Sauron grants the world the ability to move into the next age, the age of mankind, which reflects not only Tolkien’s notions about divinity and its place in human existence, but I think also his faith that people can rise to their best in the changing times.

6.       Rubilax (Wakfu)

Rubilax is the only evil weapon here to have a character arc. Granted, that’s because he’s actually a demon bound to a sword, but whatever. Rubilax starts out as your typical evil sword, trying to possess the (idiot) paladin bound to guard him. Not to make it a contest, but he gets pretty far, to the point that said paladin has to release Rubilax and fight him in a bare-knuckle fist fight into submission. After that, things get kind of complicated. People die, souls are displaced, there’s a colosseum death match, and Rubilax has to make some calls about his moral character, so to speak. In the end, Rubilax decides to side with the good guys, and even gets along with the paladin’s kids. So he’s less of an evil weapon and more of just a demonic one, but he’s definitely the most nuanced character here.

7.       The Event Horizon (Event Horizon)

The Even Horizon is pushing the definition of ‘evil object’. It’s really more of an evil place, which might also be worth a look sometime, but for now a ship counts as an object. There’s plenty of sci-fi stories that try to do the cursed spaceship deal, but I feel like Event Horizon is the only one that really captures the gothic horror aspect. I think we tend to forget that architecture, aside from its practical usage, is also meant to convey ideas and thoughts as much as any other form of artistry, and was one of the more important forms of public communication before the spread of reading. The architecture of the Event Horizon is the words to a spell, the three-dimensional incantation that opens the gates of Hell. It was a morbid, dark temple to man’s ignorance even before it went into other dimensions. Once it returns, it hungers for more; a cursed ship bound to always return to its home port on the other side. Something about the Event Horizon reminds me of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner; the way the ship is warped and changed by sailing through strange waters, and how the survivors are bound to relive the curse over and over again. That’s why the Event Horizon is my favorite ghost ship in science fiction.

8.       The Marker (Dead Space)

The Marker draws directly from Event Horizon, and they both share the concept of wordlessly communicating a kind of madness to the people who view them. The Marker, though, takes it to a new extreme, in that it has a literal insanity aura that causes hallucinations, paranoia, and aggressiveness. An interesting way that the Marker is more ‘alive’ than other evil objects is that it is self-propagating; part of the madness it transmits is the formula necessary for its replications. But what I find most fascinating is how the Marker can transmit information that changes DNA, altering people on the cellular level to turn them into Necromorphs. That kind of power, to change biology through information, is nothing short of magic in most other settings.

9.       The Berserker Armor (Berserk)

You can’t fight demons if you ain’t cute. The Berserker Armor was forged by dwarves for the explicit purpose of fighting demons and monsters. It draws on the rage and negative energy inside a person to give them incredible strength and agility, but at the price of slowly draining their senses. The Skull Knight originally made it for himself, but even he was scared off by the armor’s power. Now Guts has it, and he has a lot of rage to give. I think the most fascinating thing about the armor is how it changes and molds itself to how Guts’ uses it. It didn’t start off with a giant wolf helmet; that’s just Guts’ personal totem representing his inner darkness. But when the armor drew on that, it changed shape, and when Guts holds himself back, it stays restrained. Still, the armor takes a lower spot because it itself isn’t evil, it just draws on a person’s internal negativity; it’s all up to the wearer on how much they use it.

10.   The Gonne (Discworld)

Discworld is full of anachronistic magical devices, and they’re all usually cause for some kind of concern. The Gonne was at the center of a fairly elaborate murder plot involving the Assassin’s Guild and the Night Watch, but was finally put a stop to. Like any good evil weapon, it whispers promises of power to whoever happens to be holding it at the time, and is also a little trigger-happy. But the Gonne and its metaphor for firearms gets kind of overshadowed by everything happening around it, and it even gets acknowledged as a powerful and worthy weapon in its own way by the end.

[blueangelicrose]

A New Beginning: Chapter 5(part 1):A Deal Made and a Piece of Freedom Lost

As Joan pinpointed where their destination was, she realized that their belongings were gone! She was about to ask Adrian where their bags were, especially the big brown one. But before she could he spoke out, "And before you ask me where our luggage is, it's right behind us." Joan turned around and right before her eyes their luggage was levitating a few inches from the ground. And what was making this happen, was what appeared at first glance, three little glowing white orbs. "Really Adrian? You're making the caretakers carry our luggage?" Joan gave him a look that said, "Seriously?"

These 'orbs' were actually light fairies that Joan had picked up and adopted from her time that she spent in the fantasy realm for business purposes. (One of her 'adventures' from eight years ago.) The three fairies were triplets, a rarity to have in the realm of Fairy, especially if they were from the Light elemental faction. Joan and Adrian was given special permission, from the King and Queen of the Fairy realm, to have them, (the triplets), as assistants/family members of the famous hybrid family of Heaven. The triplets names were Lillian, Lorelei, and Lucille. Lillian was the oldest of the three of them. She has long, silky, and wavy hair that she would prefer to wear loose. And always prefers the most elegant and fancy things. That also includes her wardrobe. Lorelei was the middle child. She has semi-long, soft, and curly hair that she prefers to be in a ponytail than any other hairstyle. She's very athletic and old fashioned; and prefers things that are vintage or very antique-like. This also includes her wardrobe. Lucille is the youngest of the trio. And she, out of the two of her sisters has the shortest and straightest hair, and prefers to have her hair in cute pigtails. She also prefers things that have significant meaning in her and other's lives. Doesn't matter whether if it's shiny, fancy, or old. As long as it has meaning, she'll be interested. They were given the important task, by Joan and Adrian, of being the caretakers of the 'Void'. Or in other words, beings that takes care of and organizes the things that come into the 'Void'. On the authoritarian scale of one to ten, one being the top dog and ten being the bottom. Joan would be a 4, Adrian would be a 6, and the triplets would be a 7.

Even though that the triplets were technically underneath the both of them, status wise, didn't mean that Adrian had the authority to order them around like they're servants. Joan was about to say this, but before she could, Adrian cut her off once more and said that he politely asked them to keep their stuff safe while he and Joan were in the casino and to make sure that no one saw their luggage unattended. The triplets supported him in his decision to give them the important job of looking after their stuff until they left the casino. So, all in all, the girls didn't mind doing at least this much. The triplets reassured Joan that they willingly did this for both her sake and Adrian's and that they were not forced in any way. Thanks to that witness testimony, Adrian was spared from Joan's nagging wrath, for now.

Joan let out a heavy sigh, and held her head as if she was having a headache. Then continued towards finding the convention before the day was over. After about an hour or so, they reached to a barren dead end alleyway, or so it seemed. Joan and crew went all the way in the alleyway, and as soon as they did, Joan reached out and gently touched the brick wall, and quietly but subtlety chanted a spell that was in an ancient language that could only be described as Holy. Then, as she was chanting her spell, a Holy magic circle appeared from her hand and was projected onto the wall and started to glow. And as soon as she was done, the bricks slowly started to disappear, and revealed another part of Inkwell Isle, that not even the residents themselves know exists. The streets were filled with food and crafts vendors and along side them, were shops that sold various things that came from multiple dimensions and could only be bought and sold there. The streets were lively with angels, nephilims, and any other creature that serves under God. She even saw a few familiar faces along the way, and wished them well during their time at the convention.

After a few minutes of walking down the street, they finally found the hotel where the convention was being held. It was an impressive looking hotel. Fancy and imaculate to the T, and the service was fantastic! They made their way to the front desk in the lobby, and asked if a Nephlim named Lynne Blanca Star was there. And the manager replied, "Why, yes. Are you by any chance her daughter, Joan?" Joan smiled and nodded her head vigorously in agreement. She then showed the invitation to the manager to confirm his guess. He smiled and said, "Alright then, miss Joan, please follow this bellhop boy to show you to her room. She's been eagerly awaiting for you." She couldn't believe it! She was going to finally meet her mother after all these years and actually spend quality time with her!

When they finally reached the room, Joan gave the bellhop a decent sized tip and sent him away. As she was knocking on the door, she tried to keep her cool until she got in. And before they entered the room, Joan made sure that Adrian kept his mouth shut about what happened today and to make sure that the money that they won was kept in the 'Void'. And if her mother asks where they got the money, "Just tell her that we won the lottery. It'll work, I know it will. Because it happens to you a lot!" Adrian couldn't argue with her on that logic, especially if it was true. Then finally a gentle, loving, caring, but powerful voice spoke up. "Come in! The door is unlocked!" Joan was excited but nervous at the same time. Which was understandable since she hasn't been able to see her in over a few thousand years. As they opened the door and walked slowly in, they saw a beautifully pale, milky white skinned woman with rosy cheeks. She had beautiful and flowing bright blonde hair and had a gorgeous looking flower crown dawned on her head. She was also wearing a beautiful, silky, and flowing pure white dress, and had pretty, but cute, white comfy looking flats on her feet. She was peacefully and calmly reading one of her favorite books. When Joan spoke up, her mother's face shot up with surprise, and a beautiful and wonderful smile spread across her face and her eyes twinkled with longing to love her daughter in her arms.

Her mother quickly got up from her chair, and ran right into Joan's arms. The both of them hugged each other so tight that not even an andaconda can't match or even survive from their grip. Joan breathed deeply in her mother's scent, she smelled of roses, gardenias, lillies, and lavender. She desperately missed her mother's scent. It was so comforting and relaxing, that one sniff from her mother just melted all of Joan's problems and worries away. "So what are we going to do today?" Her mother eagerly asked. Joan smiled and said, "Anything you want to do, as long as I'm with you, I'm fine." Her mother giggled and said, "Oh you! Stop it! Both you and your sister definitely inherited your father's silver tongue and his loving nature and personality." She wasn't wrong about that. Her father loved her mother with a burning passion. Nothing could separate those two from loving each other. Not even death himself could separate them. It was thanks to her parents incredible love for each other that she and her sister were able to be born. And she was forever grateful that she was born from her. This loving and wonderful woman loved Joan and her family so much that her mother would move or possibly destroy an entire mountain for them. She couldn't ask for a better mom. Joan asked if her sister came by yet to spend time with her. Her mother told her that Joan had just missed her. She said that Josephine left the Isle early this morning, but said that she would come back soon.

Joan rolled her eyes, and replied, "That's Josephine for you. Always on the move." Switching the subject Joan encouraged her mom to immediately get started on doing stuff together, and that they did. All throughout the day Joan, her mom, and the crew spent the entire day playing, eating, laughing and having a good time. But time is a fickle thing, the more fun you have, the more time seems to pass. As the convention drew to a close everyone packed up their things and started towards Heaven and their home realms. Joan sadly gave her mother a hug and kiss, then waved good bye as she saw her mother ascend the Heavenly staircase. As they went back to the hotel, they were expecting to head towards their rooms and stay there until it was time to leave the Isle, or at least steal back the locket and then leave Inkwell. But fate has a funny way of doing things. When they arrived at the entrance of the hotel, there was two people(?) standing out front, waiting for them. As they got closer, Joan recognized the uniform that one of them were wearing. She then grew concerned and wary of her surroundings. As they finally approached them, she noticed that their luggage was right beside them. Joan was about to ask how they managed to get their stuff from their room without the key card. But before she could, the female stranger spoke. "I'm sorry to do this to you, but I don't really have much of a choice." This stranger wore a casino bouncer uniform, and she knew who the uniform represented. The female stranger also had a fancy but fearsome looking French styled sword on her waist belt. And at first she looked like an normal African American human woman, but then she noticed all the stitches and battle scars all over her body. Oh, and did I mention that her right arm was cut off and replaced by a functional robotic-like fake arm? She looked like Sally from the movie, 'The Nightmare Before Christmas,' except more fearsome looking. And standing right next to her was a semi-tall humanoid cigar man with flashy gangster-like clothes on. She asked them who they were and what business that they had with them. The woman sighed and introduced themselves. "Hello, my name is Victoria Doll and this is my colleague, Mr. Wheezy."

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, ma'am." The cigar man, Mr. Wheezy, spoke in an accent that she swore she heard before but couldn't remember where she heard it from. "And for the other thing you asked, well, here. This will do the talking for me." Victoria handed her a yellowed and worn out looking note that emitted a hideous aura. She hesitated at first, but then grabbed the note, unfolded it, and read the words that were in red ink(?). It said, "If you ever want to see your beloved locket again, then come back to the Devil's Casino and meet me in my office. I'm sure we have a lot to talk about."

To Be Continued....

End of chapter 5 (part 1).

To be continued in chapter 5 (part 2).

Guest star appearance: Victoria Doll

Not my OC.

[oh-my-otome]

I absolutely adore your thoughts on the psychological health within the SLBP characters! If you don’t mind, could you scale MidC, DtL, and IkeSen (pick whichever game you want!), too? If it’s not too much to ask ☺️

Hello, Precious! Let’s do all three!

Again, purely for fun! And, like the last time, there will be SPOILERS!

0=unstable, 50=borderline, 100=normal

MidCin, you’re up!

Louis (65):

Tsunderes, kuuderes and yanderes, by design, are not normal to begin with, because their logic only makes sense to themselves. 

Louis being both a kuudere and a yandere are what take his score down.

Frequently thinking it to himself, and sometimes saying it out loud, Louis has obsessive thoughts about wanting to keep his love interest to himself, and fantasizes about keeping her somewhere where only he can see.

He also thinks that acting like a frigid ass, like the nobles, will somehow save her from the nobles. 

Even though Louis falls deeply in love with the princess, he will also lie to her face without a hint of hesitation, undermine her hard work, and jeopardize the stability of the monarchy.

He also entertains a suicidal fantasy, and attempts to see it through.

Sid (80):

Even though he lies for a living, Sid praises honesty when it comes to his inner circle.

He has no qualms teasing Louis left and right, because he’s made it known to Louis that he wants to save him from himself. 

Finding himself trapped in a loveless engagement, Sid makes sure that his fiancée knows ahead of time that he doesn’t love her and never will. He gives her the chance to break it off, even making sure that she understands that he will take other lovers, and is only with her to get information about her father.

Because Sid always has to be “on,” in order to take advantage of any kind of situation, so that he gets the information he needs to do his job, Sid sometimes has a problem with reigning it in and just being himself– and not his trickster alter ego.

This causes communication problems between him and princess, but Sid always knows how to smooth it over.

In every case where parents are involved, in MidCin, Sid has the most positive and supporting relationship with his. 

He is close to his adopted father, who always has his back, and builds a positive relationship with his estranged parents.

Giles (70):

Anything– and I do mean A N Y T H I N G ! –that the princess does, whether positive or negative reflects on Giles. And I mean that the princess’ reactions reflect on Giles as a person and on his capacity as a Chamberlain who knows what he’s doing. 

We all give him crap for it, but one small mishap from princess could realistically cost Giles his entire life’s work, since the first thing out of anyone’s mouth would be to question why she wasn’t taught and trained better– which isn’t Leo’s job, but Giles’.

And “well, I told her not to!” isn’t a valid answer. It’s Giles’ job to ensure.

Understandably, we can see why he has a vested interest in breathing down Princess’ neck, all the time. It’s also why he’s always so stressed out, and persnickety.

To add to that, his family life is complicated, leaving him depressed and estranged. 

Giles is also sickly, and prone to bouts of fever, so his plate is quite full.

He works himself to the bone, and cant even get a decent amount of rest due to both lack of time, and a weak body.

Fortunately, Giles’ strong character keeps him running, even we he wants nothing more than to crawl into bed and cuddle up with his cat. 

Always able to be depended on, one would never know from looking at him that he’s hiding so much turmoil inside.

Alyn (75):

His biggest “quirk” is that he hates tomatoes. who can blame him

He’s pretty damn normal, aside from his random and intense one-sided feud with his twin brother, Leo. 

Alyn knows that his brother needs help, but doesn’t really do much to facilitate that, beyond throwing a few words of encouragement at his brother’s girlfriend.

His attitude toward Leo’s anguish is basically the embodiment of the phrase: “like pouring water on a drowning man.”

However, when he’s needed, Alyn will be there in a pinch, ready to make good on his promise to protect.

Although physically strong, he can be a bit of a pushover under the right conditions.

Leo (50):

You would think for someone who has women climbing into trebuchets in order to launch themselves at him, that Leo would be a little smoother than he is. 

What brings his score down so low is that Leo’s backstory isn’t just a backstory– it’s right there with him in the present. 

He (and Alyn) experience a trauma so deep that it continues into adulthood.

As such, Leo entertains the dangerous idea of pre-meditated murder in the hope of avenging his family, not realizing that he’s also contributing to its destruction.

Byron (65):

It’s supposed to be looked at as a way to get to know him, but not being aware of one’s own feelings– positive, negative, or neutral –and questioning whether it is “okay” to feel them, or express them, is neither normal nor cute.

Byron is also given to whims, either not giving a damn at all what the nobles say, or purposefully putting them in their place with ostentatious displays of affection.

Byron is very sweet to his romantic interest, but is also coldly indifferent to others who are close to him. 

He understands that he wields incredible power, but he’s not above making his own brother (Nico), another king (Alyn), and a close friend (Louis) essentially beg on their hands and knees before he’ll lift a finger to help them.

He can also be unnervingly detached, such as when he’s attacked in broad daylight and just shrugs it off while his best friend throws himself bodily in the way to block a sword.

Byron may not like his father, but the apple didn’t exactly fall far from the tree, either. 

They may not be exactly alike, as one wouldn’t expect them to be– they’re two different people –but he is definitely Gerald Wagner’s son, by blood and to some extent, personality.

Nico (65):

When the only thing that stops you from murdering a man in the middle of the woods is that your brother and his friend arrived just in time to prevent it, because they didn’t have much trouble following the trail of other people’s blood that you’ve been leaving, have a seat because you’re not normal.

Nico started out his young life as the bastard son of a king, who was forced by circumstances outside of his control to survive on the streets. 

Even when he was taken in by his brother, Nico was forced to live in two different worlds: in the light as someone that everyone in the castle can see and here, and know that he’s there, but also in the shadows, as his relationship to the royal family was still kept secret.

In that sense, the sins of the father were carried on by one of his sons, Byron, who wanted to rescue his brother, but also treated him to some extent like the nobles who had chased Nico and his mother from the castle.

Nico says himself that no one really takes him seriously about anything, and that his opinions don’t matter. 

Albert is very comfortable with making Nico his whipping boy right in front of Byron.

Byron, for his part, barely ever defends his brother.

All of this can’t be easy for Nico, who confesses to the first person he crushes on.

Not only that, he goes way out of his way, almost killing himself, to protect the person who truly loves him, and risks displacing a monarchy to ensure that he can maintain his relationship.

Albert (75):

Albert’s flippant nature stems from the fact that no one’s checked his ass, before Princess. 

If not for her, he would continue on forever, bowing and scraping before his king, without realizing that there can be loyalty beyond fealty, and devotion that transcends admiration and patriotism.

Through love, Albert comes to understand trust and forgiveness, and how to handle one’s emotions.

Albert likes to plan for every situation, but as a tsundere, he is also reactionary.

Robert (65):

Robert’s idea of dealing with the past is never talking about it, ever, which is neither helpful nor healthy.

He also likes to literally run away from his problems, and is just fine with up and leaving at a moment’s notice, with no regard for how that might potentially unnerve, frighten, or traumatize another person– in his case, a group of four specific individuals, all still technically children, who were close to him: Byron, Albert, Nico, and Princess.

While mature in every other regard, Robert is prone to lashing out verbally when people try to talk about his past, even in private. 

He also uses stone walling and pretending the incident didn’t happen, as defense mechanisms.

He will also actively ignore any past connections until doing otherwise suits his purposes, leaving the people he used to know in the awkward position of having to guess at whether they’re supposed to try to reach out to him, or go along with acting like strangers.

Now for DtL!

Todo (30):

Todo, first name Heisuke, is the identical twin of Kyo. 

Separated at birth, Todo grew up as the wealthy little lord (bocchama) of a crime-ridden family. 

At some point, that house fell, and Todo would frequently dream that was in a futuristic place.

In one dream, he discovered that he had a twin, Kyo. 

In his dreams, Todo would visit his brother regularly, and that’s when he realized that it wasn’t a dream at all!

Todo possesses the ability to travel across time, backwards and forwards, without restriction– and what he was seeing in his “dreams” was actually real.

Oh, and he’s also a pathokinetic empath who can control the emotions and physical well-being of others, most notably, Kyo.

Apparently, the knowledge that one has powers such as these will mess a person right up, and Todo proceeds to lose his damn mind.

Because time means nothing to him, death and life also mean nothing to him, since all he would have to do is press fast forward or rewind or whatever he does, and “fix” everything. 

It would also mean, if he chose to, he could go forward in time and know everything.

Living in an era where superstitions are still deeply rooted in the culture, Todo oscillates between understanding that Kyo is a completely separate person from himself, and thinking that Kyo is literally a part of him that was split off.

Kyo (70):

Pretty normal until he takes his NOTICE ME, SENPAI! act straight into outright threatening others to stay away from the woman he’s crushing on.

He is skeptical and hard-working.

Handsy, clingy and uncomfortably honest when drunk, Kyo is otherwise a good-natured person who enjoys helping others.

Yamazaki (85):

Yamazaki is as popular with the ladies as any other ikemen, but he is also insecure and occasionally distrusting of other’s intentions, particularly around women in the RLD, whom he suspects want to use him (he’s half-right).

He also lets Okita get away with far too much, but he also possesses the power to lay Okita out like a picnic blanket, if he wanted to, so maybe it’s a good thing that Yamazaki chooses to let so many of Okita’s shenanigans slide.

An unrepentant hand fetishist, Yamazaki may look and act innocent, but he’s a beast in the bedroom.

Saito (80):

Saito is secretive and mysterious, but also kind and helpful. 

He always keeps his promises, and trains his MC in self-defense so that she has an added layer of protection in an unfamiliar place, beyond ‘I know a bunch of samurai, so don’t mess with me.’

However, he can also be distant and secretive in a negative way, such as getting himself a fiancée when he’s still in love with his MC. 

Haru/Kirisato (45):

That moment when the year is 1864 and The Silence of the Lambs novel won’t be published until 124 years later, and you’re talking about someone else’s skin belonging to you– while being completely, creepily serious –is how you know you’re not normal and never will be.

That and the fact that he’s very firmly in yandere territory. 

Haru lives a double life as a spy, hitman, and courtesan, who seems to be keeping it all together, until he meets his love interest.

Keiki (60):

Not only does Keiki start out depressed, his own MC makes sure that he can barely climb his way back out, by actively traumatizing him when he needed her the most.

Keiki still carries the pain of watching a friend die in front of him, and as such, dislikes anything that reminds him that beauty– like life –is fleeting.

He is also surprisingly trusting, once he lets his guard down, and very fragile once his trust has been broken.

Kondo (90):

His biggest flaw is that he has no sense of direction, and that he loves animals, but they don’t love him,  AND THAT HE DOESN’T HAVE A ROUTE!

Sakamoto (85):

Stubborn and brusque, Sakamoto has a preternatural intuition that has saved him and The Exclusionists more than once.

Too bad it didn’t help in that alley!

Sakamoto is typically chased down and pestered by women, and to that end tries to make himself inconspicuous as much as possible, which is easy to do when you have flaming red hair.

He is thick-headed, but also sensitive, playful but considerate.

Okubo (85):

A graduate of the Byron Wagner School for Robots, Okubo doesn’t know what love is, but wants you to show him. 

But look out, because he is chock full of naughty kinks, such as being a very frisky and bold drunk, playing footsie, an unashamed ear kissing and biting fetish, and dominating during sex.

Okubo is very observant when he’s not reading at the speed of light, and his anger is prone to his whims– sometimes he briefly says what is bothering him, and other times he is quite angsty and demanding.

Although he often vague, he is a sincere person.

He is also forgetful, and has no qualms about mooching off of others.

Katsura (90):

Energetic and suave, calculating and capable, Katsura is surprisingly sensitive. 

Unable to leave others alone when they need him, he even goes so far as to politely ignore the fact that his former friend’s wife has been coming on to him for years, all because he doesn’t know how to say ‘no,’ without hurting her feelings.

Comfortably open about his hair fetish.

Okita (55):

Okita manages to be both gullible and naïve, which are not mutually exclusive.

His score is low because he is a yandere. He doesn’t find it odd in the slightest that the first thing to pop into in his mind is orchestrating another man’s death, rather than explaining the situation.

Because of his illness, Okita is understandably depressed and anxious, causing him to react to situations in ways that a healthy person wouldn’t.

He is also intensely loyal, and finds that a life spent living without the people he’s close to, is no life at all.

Hijikata (75):

Hijikata likes to take on more than he can chew, but at the same time, doing exactly that frustrates him. He’s super stressed, but finds it difficult to say no.

Like his real-life counterpart, Hijikata believes that someone must go down with the ship, and he has sworn undying loyalty to the Shinsengumi and the shogun, alike.

Because of his workload, and the fact that he is a light sleeper, Hijikata spends his days running on fumes, barely able to get any shut-eye, until he finds his MC.

Although his devotion to Kondo and Keiki is unshakable, Hijikata folds like a cheap suit when Kyo slides up to him and tells him to break up with his MC.

Doesn’t give a damn about anyone knowing that he likes women’s accessories, and wants to dress Yamazaki in women’s clothes.  

Yuki (90):

Gender-fluid, bi-sexual Yuki is almost always bubbly and positive. 

However, he is not above threatening others when he sees the need, as he doesn’t take kindly at all to having to watch the woman he likes be with a man whom he feels doesn’t deserve her.

His kimono shop is a legitimate business, but also a front where one can buy guns, swords and yes– smoke bombs!

He sometimes pretends to be drunk to get information, or further the romance of his love interest and her chosen partner.

He is stronger than Hijikata and Sakamoto. Combined. 

Yuki also has sword skills that make Saito weep.

Takasugi (55):

Retroactively forced into the kuudere box, Takasugi is now a kuu/tsun mix of volatile angst and depression, often using silence as a weapon just as much as his angry retorts.

Takasugi knows that his illness is getting the best of him, and uses others where he cannot succeed on his own.

Stubborn and prideful, Takasugi just wants to be loved, but doesn’t know how to be straightforward about it.

Your turn, IkeSen!

Nobunaga (75):

Nobunaga has inexhaustible trust and faith in his inner circle, and rather than treat them like lesser lords, he treats them like family.

Even as an adult, he still experiences the trauma of a failed assassination attempt, and cannot sleep comfortable until he meets his MC.

He is stubborn about his feelings, denying them and excusing them away, until they become so blatant that he can’t help but act on them.

Ieyasu (55):

Hard-headed and resistant, Ieyasu has a hard time letting others care for him. Quick to try to prove himself, Ieyasu is prove to bouts of seeking vengeance even when the situation is in control.

Obsessed with affirmations of love, Ieyasu is several different dere-types, most notably a yandere. 

He takes it personally when people have talent, but squander it.

Hideyoshi (60):

Loyal to the death, Hideyoshi is devoted to Nobunaga with every fiber of his being. 

When Nobunaga is believed dead, Hideyoshi proceeds nose dive into a pit of despair so deep that he can barely feel anything.

Mitsuhide (75):

Genuinely believing that there is nothing worth loving about him, Mitsuhide is a sadodere who enjoys teasing others– the closest thing to love that he thinks he’s allowed to have.

Because Mitsuhide keeps his feelings and secrets close to his chest, he is often mistaken as a villain, which exactly what he wants.

Mitsunari (80):

Obtuse and clueless, Mitsunari lovable and pure.

His score is lowered because he actively refuses, at his age, to learn to take care of himself, and has a co-dependent relationship with the other warlords, who merely joke or chastise him about it, rather than taking him aside and demanding that he get himself together, since he is in no capacity a child.

Kennyo (55):

Self-loathing, and chock full of martyr complex, Kennyo goes from murdering madman to regretful, forlorn monk at the speed of light.

His determination to see Nobunaga fall blinds him to the fact that he has other options such as forgiveness.

Shingen (90):

Laid back and chivalrous, Shingen is mature, and dependable to those in his inner circle.

He keeps his illness a secret, which is a personal choice.

Kenshin (50):

A yandere bent on keeping those close to him, Kenshin honestly believes that he cannot die. 

The first thing out of Kenshin’s mouth is that he won’t be cowed by a hostage, but the next time you turn around, he’s wrapping himself all kinds of ways around his MC’s (hostage) finger, the better to acquiesce to her every request.

As such, Kenshin experiences the cognitive dissonance of presenting himself one way, but behaving another.

Even knowing that that is how others see him, he is quick to defend himself when made fun of, as he doesn’t like his good intentions joked about.

Battle hungry and single-minded, Kenshin is often in the grip of ennui so strong that only extreme circumstances can pull him out.

Yukimura (70):

The only thing that brings Yukimura’s score down so low is his penchant for joking even when his MC has said she’s had enough, and the act that he’s extremely reactionary under the right circumstances, such as having sex on an unprotected battlefield and leaving his love interest there, deep asleep, with no shelter or anyone/thing to keep her safe.

Masamune (75):

Quixotic and capricious, Masamune is always raring to battle. He is preoccupied with appearing cool at any cost, but is also considerate and thoughtful.

His stubbornness is what cost him a higher score, as he contributes to his MC almost killing a man to prove herself, before he realizes that prattling about his own resolve has an effect on others’.

Sasuke (80):

Sasuke is incredibly smart, but he’s also a bit of a masochist, on top of being a huge fanboy.

He also subscribes to taking forever to notice/confess his feelings, but he is extremely loyal, and down-to-earth.

[tdrcharmschool4]

Charm School Test #4: There’s more to (lipsyncing for your) life than this - Critiques

Our girls aren't lipsyncing for their lives, but they are lipsyncing for their grades... Let's see what the deans thought!

Kushboo

My concept  is classy hooker - based on Gaga's song ' Government Hooker'. I wanted to recreate the shades-and-glumness look albeit the drag version. The mug is therefore rouged and sensuous , and she wears shades to hide her tears and lack of sleep. Her clothes are also posh looking but underneath her blue chiffon dress she wears the same old pant she wore every episode previously because she's as poor as a doormouse. Witness her waiting by the roadside for trade in classic hooker pose.when she's done earning dough, she performs at the local drag club with best friend Kandy Ho.

Analyse: HIEEEE, Kushboo! These pants look familiar ;) I'm not mad that you've recycled a part of your audition look, especially since they are so cool and they fit the look. I think you had one of the more interesting videos out of the bunch and there were some of those Alaska mannerisms that you were able to work into the performance. I did have a problem with the 30 seconds of dead time at the beginning of the video. I would just edit that out entirely. I thought the dildo was funny (because that's the type of humor I have), but I think you held onto it a little too long and it became kind of awkward, not in a like a dirty-awkward way, but like "why does she still have that?" way. Just be mindful of how you incorporate props, and that getting rid of them is just as important as how/when you pick them up. All in all, I really enjoyed this video! Good job, and I can't wait for your next video!

Dotte: Greetings Kushboo! Such a classic song choice! I love the multi-referential description you have going on! I have a few things I noticed during your video that I’d like to bring up. Something you can stand to improve on is utilizing your body language more. There were a lot of moments where you just had your arms to your side/were swaying side to side. A simple hand on the hip can help deliver the sass and attitude you want to deliver when doing such an iconic song. Be careful when you’re bringing objects into and out of the frame. It breaks the illusion we see you obviously place the phone onto the table in front of you. Lastly, I think that this specific lipsync could benefit by pretending that you’re addressing a huge crowd. Focusing on making eye contact with just one person sort of goes against what the “intention” of the song is. So interacting with imaginary people who aren’t directly behind the camera would only make sense. Thanks for having us! Can’t wait to see your acting skills!

Marcella: Hello Kushboo! Now there were a few small issues with this sync, and I’m going to address them first (I’ll ignore that you didn’t trim the beginning). Firstly, you know the lighting isn’t brilliant. It’s very important to get yourself lit so you’re not just a blur of midtones, especially when doing a green-screen. That said, we can see you just fine. The other point I want to make is expression – Alaska is very blasé sure, but there were one or two moments that just begged for a huge reaction or change in expression. You went for it on the ‘Hieeee’ though, and a few other parts, I’d have just liked a couple more for variety and to match the contours of the song (‘Tell me. I look. G o r g e o u s’ needed some real intensity). Now let’s get to the good: points for trying green screen, it’s a good trick to have up your sleeve and it wasn’t executed badly. It didn’t add a great deal to the song, but it was definitely better than just having your room in the background. You knew the words, only dropping one or two lyrics, but that’s not unforgivable. What I really enjoyed was your use and timing of props and reveals. They were all perfectly relevant, perfectly executed (the wig reveal I did not see coming and you did it so swiftly and jadedly) and lasted just the right amount of time. Ultimately, these are what made this such an enjoyable video to watch, they gave you a story and a context, and in that regard you’ve completely succeeded. Let’s talk about the look: Makeup reads nicely from a distance, still needs work up close, but it’s mostly just in need of refinement that will come with practise. Be careful of glossy lips if you’re overdrawing, the shine will highlight your real lips underneath. The look was nothing to write home about, but it didn’t bother me either. Something more showy might have been cute, but I appreciate that this dress doesn’t take anything away from us focusing on your face and your mouth. Overall, I think this was a really strong effort, you listened well to the advice we gave and it paid off :]

Luna

I choose to do Cabaret from Cabaret cause Sally speaks to me. The show encompasses her raw human emotions of rejection and trying to fit in and be loved. I relate to her life so portraying her gave me a type of feeling of not being alone.  The make up is 20's inspired with my own twist on Sally. Cabaret is very much about lingerie and sexy dancers so I chose to go with a black white and red theme. I am wearing an undergarment skirt as a top, ballet slippers and a pencil skirt, I accessorized it with a boa, chocker and feathers.Here is what it reveals into! I made the top fringe by fringe. If you have any questions go ahead and keep it to yourself, cliff. If I wanted you to know something, I would tell you.

Analyse: Willkommen, Luna! Just looking at the pictures, I'm like "yes, bitch! It's a look." There are a couple things to fix up on it; I would love a heel, and when you have that real harsh line on the hips (either from control top tights or shaper shorts or something like that), it draws attention to that and ruins the illusion a bit. For me, your theatre background really comes through here, but my BIG issue with your submission is your connection in the video. You're doing all this emoting and acting, but directing it away from the camera, and when you're doing a video like this for an online format, your audience lives behind that camera lens. It's a problem that I had (and sometimes still have) as well, because as people who have that theatre background, we can play to a house full of people all day long, but something about the physical disconnect of directing that performance towards a camera can just be very off-putting for some people. Make sure in future videos that you keep that in mind, because honestly, it's just a thing you have to consciously fight against until you begin to move past it. Also (and this is just a technical note), your video is WAY too loud to the extent that you both *lose* audio quality and I had to turn my volume almost all the way down to get it to a tolerable point. Just be careful of that when you're editing! All in all, you gave us a cute concept and a fun lipsync. I Can't wait to see what you give us going forward!

Dotte: As soon as your video started, I was soooooo ready! That was a really smart idea having that intro because it helped set the tone for all of it. You have really great emotion oh my gosh you can really channel some energy! The outfit is super kyute and really helps sell the fantasy you’re giving us! I wish you played with that boa a little bit more before your threw it away. It would have just been neat in my opinion and sometimes, playing with those big costume pieces can help entertain an audience. The filters at the end....I’m not sure what their purpose was. Same thing for whatever it was you pulled out of your bra but maybe I just wasn’t paying attention properly. I’m not too keen on makeup but i will say the beauty mark was a nice touch. Either way this was enjoyable to watch. Tchüss! 

Marcella: Luna, this was another good entry from you! Firstly, I loved the scene setting with the record, and I love a good filter if it’s appropriate, which it certainly was. It was a smart choice to vary the filter too, though I don’t know if you picked the best point to switch to colour (earlier might have been better, before the melancholy part). The outfit worked for me (ballet slippers aside). The way you moved was engaging and suited the song, the song itself was a good choice, I can tell you enjoyed every second of performing. I do have a couple of issues though – firstly, lighting/location could have been considered better, your face was a bit washed out. Similarly, I feel your make-up was a step backwards, I needed some of the contrast you usually bring – I couldn’t see your eyes or your mouth very clearly. My biggest issue is unfortunately the lipsyncing itself. I applaud the variety of expressions you brought, and the nuance you performed them with, but the words were frequently completely off. It’s not that the overlay was off, and it’s not that you didn’t know the words… I felt like either you know the song so well that you weren’t listening properly, or the audio you were recording to was too quiet to hear. It’s so important to not only know the words, but to lipsync them how the singer sings them. Breathe when they do, and enunciate as they do. At times, your mouth made shapes didn’t match the vowels. This is really key to think about in the future, but otherwise I enjoyed it and appreciated the amount of thought you put into your performance.

Marina

For this challenge, my inspiration was my love for creating little stories and meanings behind things. My lipsync song is pretty nihilistic and sarcastic, but I tried to create a concept out of it regardless. My character in this is a vampire who has a desire to be mortal again. She feeds off of excess blood because it makes her feel more human.It sounds pretty dark but she has a good sense of humor about it, hence the writing on her face. I hope you enjoy my concept and submission for this week's challenge!

Analyse: Hello, Marina! I think this is a really pretty eye makeup, and I like the sfx blood going on. It definitely helps to sell what is otherwise a pretty plain look as a conceptualized character. If you're going to have writing or something that you want to show off, make sure it's fully visible in at least one picture, because the writing is cut off, and I'm not sure what it all says. What I'd like to see from you going forward is to really up the game and give us over-the-top draggy. No more natural hair unless you can REALLY justify it in the concept. The lipsync was fun and cute, and I think if you just fully let go and had fun with it, that energy would read more on camera. Final note, make sure when we ask for a head-to-toe picture, we get head to toe, and not cut off at the ankle. Good luck going into acting week and then the FINAL EXAM!

Dotte: Marina, heya! So let’s see...the biggest distraction for me ist the writing on the face because I can’t really tell what it’s supposed to be. If it’s blood, then it’s too neat. If its a tattoo, it’s too messy. And the asymmetry of it kinda takes away from the rest of your face. I would edit it down to one word and maybe just put it on your forehead or even incorporate it into your makeup. Your head is moving alot during the performance so we can’t read alot of words like that. I can give you a few examples one on one if you want. The outfit is very plain and can stand to use a belt or a necklace or spiderwebs to help it say vampire more. Right now, its very little black dress. We told you about syncing the performance to the music previously and this time around, its even more off. It’s definitely better video quality though. I’m not sure how I feel about the song choice but that might be more of a personal choice. It’s like this, if you went a bit more over the top with the dark vampire look then it would read more as a strong juxtaposition. Mkay that it for now. Let’s talk more and see what you bring for acting week!

Marcella: Hi Marina! I’m glad you were able to get this to us, but it was VERY late tsk tsk. Let’s get to the lipsync. Technically speaking, I think this was a step up from your homework - you clearly planned out your performance and thought about what you were going to do for each element. Lighting was ok, we could see you reasonably well. The overlay is unfortunately about a third of a second out of sync, which is very distracting. It’s always worth spending that extra moment getting it perfect, as it’ll ruin a sync if it’s off. I can’t tell if the background was just what was there, or if you specifically picked out that part of your house for the video, so I can’t really critique that either way. Your outfit worked ok, but I couldn’t properly see the details in the make-up from the distance. And although I know some of your make-up corresponded to the lyrics, which shows attention to detail and a level of consideration, I can’t help but feel your make-up is not necessarily improving. You can be as draggy or as fish as you wanna be, but right now you’re not really reading ‘drag’ to me as much as real girl putting on a performance. I don’t mean this rudely, I just don’t feel like you’re embracing the experience as much as you could. I think your expressions were varied and the energy was right, and in that sense you did what the challenge asked for. But the elements you missed, as well as the severe lateness, have really let the good parts of your submission down, I’m afraid (also, I’ll ignore that you didn’t trim the end off the video.)

Ophelia

For my music video lipsync, I want to take the song 'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan, most commonly associated nowadays with its use in ASPCA commercials (for reference if you haven't seen one!:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gspElv1yvc) so I wanted take that idea and turn it into a parody for donating money to busted, broke-down drag queens! I used text overlay that parodies the voiceover that Sarah McLachlan does in said commercials and did my makeup in a kind of facepaint/white face dogface with spots on my eye, forehead and chin area to really drive the parody comparison home! I really hope this doesn't ruin your day!

Analyse: Hey, Ophelia! I think you really let your creativity lead you through this challenge, which is always a great thing to have, but one of the important skills to develop is to come in with an editing eye and say "ok, is this the best way to get the desired effect that I want." Again, you've given us a very simple makeup and you're not showing us that you can push yourself. I really don't mean this to come across as harsh, and if it does, I'm sorry, but this dog makeup reads very elementary school birthday party face paint. I think this is a situation where you could've asked "is this the best way to get what I want out of this look," and I think you may have gotten the "parody" idea across better if you had *been* the busted drag queen the video was about (like, smeared lipstick, wonky lash, all that jazz). There's also a disconnect here between the costuming and what you're trying to get across, and I think the makeup further muddles the concept. I like the direction it was headed, but I think that some of the ideas and execution kind of caused you to get in your own way with this video. I look forward to seeing where your creativity leads you in the next couple of weeks!

Dotte: Hey there you female dog you!  I think one of my biggest Nina Bonina peeves were when she did a face but didn’t pay attention to the rest of the body. If you had something that was long sleeve and hid your skin, it would create a different type of experience for the viewer. I was honestly entertained for a smooth ten seconds but....you know people usually change the channel when they see these commercials right? I’m not really used to hearing more than the lines “In the arms of an angel” and then its usually cut off by then. Entertainment-wise, it kinda got old quick. I don’t really have much to say about performance because you were on the ground for most of it. Which was kind of strange to see because I thought we mentioned how monotonous your homework was when it came to movement. Feel free to run concepts by us because we’re here for ya, kitty girl! Onto the acting!

Marcella: Ophelia, this video looks… familiar? :p Well, regardless, I think there are some strong elements to this. Emotionally, you had this DOWN. Perfectly empty to start with, just the right amount of soul. Never too much or too little. B&W filter made sense, especially when the text kicked in. This was a nice touch, the juxtaposition both added unexpected but welcome humour and reinforced the other decisions you made. I liked that it was a little ‘why the f does she have a dog face?’ until then. Speaking of the dog face… I see why you went that way, but I can’t say I liked it a whole lot. I wish it was more of a drag dog, this was like, kid’s party literal facepaint dog. I’ve noticed that your paint is very heavy, I think you need to go a bit easier on the clown white especially, as it comes off as a mask. We know Covergirl don’t cover boy, but I think if you can learn to paint with a lightness of touch, it’ll benefit your aesthetic. Which I realise you’re still trying to pinpoint, but I think going easier on the makeup will help you do that. The outfit was ok, similarly to Kush’s, it didn’t add or detract from your performance. I liked the gloves to match the dog concept. You gotta wear some tights girl though, if you’re not gonna shave your legs. There’s no quicker way to ruin the female illusion than hairy legs. Also, I do feel like this video was a little bit plain. It’s the risk of picking a slow song, but it wasn’t quite as engaging as I’d have hoped. Overall, I think your make-up let you down, but the performance was decent.