#because it was just used to remove stuff from my switch

[dazzlerazz]

I love how this is the last thing ever posted on my twitter account

[leafy-m]

So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person

[rubberduckyrye]

Getting my playlists sorted for the big Move to....... my iphone......

Ick!!!

[maxwellatoms]

And a good executive dysfunction to you!

My stomach hurts.

I don't want to draw right now, but I really do want to draw in general. Just not now. Maybe... now?

No. Not yet.

There's a wasp's nest on the catio. I should be looking up how to remove it, but instead I'm in here writing this nonsense. I should be drawing.

It still smells like burning metal in here, so I probably am better off with the wasps. Did I mention that my bathroom caught fire this morning? Like an actual fire fire. I may have buried the lede on that one. I used to think it was "buried the lead", as though you'd skipped the information you meant to lead with. Fun that it still works.

Fire dept. said that there was a timer on the wall switch in the bathroom where we're having work done from the flood that happened after my birthday. When the timer tripped, a heating mesh coiled up by the wall caught fire. Thankfully, my fiancee' smelled the burning metal and we caught it early.

It's hard to make cartoons when your house keeps attacking you. Also, when you're not employed making cartoons. I'm trying some indie stuff, but again... can I get a break here? Let's just tone down the apocalypse. I'd like to get some stuff done. And my insurance runs out in two weeks.

But HA! Fincee'! So I still get insurance. Happy accidents. Suck it, world-- Oh hang on. Contractor is here...

I'm back! Where was I?

My fuchsia is on the rebound, I think. Passed it on the way back in. I don't want to call it a comeback, but it's flowering. I think maybe the pot retains too much water. We'll see how it goes. Thankfully it doesn't need much compost because I blew through the whole pile yesterday refiling the garden beds. I did the beds Hügelkultur style, but I used cacti in one of them, so the soil drop was insane after the first year. Free garden tip for ya' there.

Where was I?

To be fair, there's a lot of residual adrenaline going on this morning too.

Work.

Right...

Gotta get these drawings done. I said I'd do it by tomorrow. I only said it to myself, but I should maybe listen. Can I be trusted?

Just draw, dude.

It smells like cheese and apocalypse in here. Nothing I can do about the fried metal, but the cheese is from the toaster oven. I should go clean that now. Hang on. I'll be back.

[bluejutdae]

“Oh, let there be hotel complaints” | Chan x you

warnings: nsfw, D/s dynamics, face and pussy slapping, overstimulation, mention of safewords, Daddy kink.

This is just Chan brain rot and my mind gently suggested me the image of first time inexperienced Dom Chan who wants to try some BDSM but he’s too scared to hurt you so he decides he’a going to try on himself all that he’s gonna do to you…

Title from Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier

Chan has had plenty of vanilla sex, but then you introduced him to BDSM, and especially the concepts of Doms and Subs, and something switched in him. He started reading online forums and blogs. And when the topic arose again, he clearly told you he’s interested, but he won’t do it yet. Because the thing is: despite how hard even just reading stuff about it makes him, he has no experience, and he won’t risk hurting you.

So, he does what any good Dom should do in his eyes, he tries things on himself.

One day you turn home to find his face red and a bit swollen, but when you ask about it, he just distracts you with filthy kisses. What you don’t know is that he slapped and slapped and slapped himself until he deemed he had found the right strength to use.

Another day he disappears for the whole afternoon and, when you see him in the living room, he looks flushed and a little exhausted, but giddy. Just like Changbin when he maxes out at the gym and he’s incredibly tired but proud of himself. What you don’t know is that he spent the afternoon edging himself with a vibrator on his shaft and his tip and, after hours of denying himself, he came and proceeded to overstimulate himself, because it’s only logical to pair up the two experiences, right?

What you noticed though, is that there’s a change in him. He’s more assertive with you on some days, makes sure you eat and doesn’t let you go to sleep if you haven’t removed your makeup. Pushes you to sleep more when he knows you have had a bad day at work, and every time you comply and thank him for taking care of you, he kisses a little filthier, holds you a little firmer.

It’s months later when he asks if you can try something kinkier. You’re excited and happy and you start to mentally prepare yourself to be a good teacher without forgetting this is about pleasure. But then Chan shows you exactly how deep the still water runs deep.

“You’re gonna sit there” he says and he’s so commanding yet sexy you melt instantly. “And we’re gonna have a quick talk. Nothing too extreme is going to happen today, but I need to establish some rules”. You nod in response, and he looks at you with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “You’re gonna use your pretty words, baby girl.” That’s it. Not a suggestion, not an option, a rule. Fuck, you knew he would be good at this.

“I understand.”

He’s quick with the rules: you must verbally answer, you’re gonna use the traffic light system for now, you must use the safe word if you need to, and the moment you think something’s wrong he’s gonna stop. You also must ask for what you want, not just take it.

Not too long later you’re on the bed, shirt previously discarded and clad only in your panties. And Chan is completely dressed, hovering over you. He’s been kissing you deeply and touching you just enough to make you want so much more. You’re embarrassingly wet and you’re sure you’ll have to throw away your panties. He’s holding your crossed arms at the wrists and, in doing so, he’s holding you down. You try to buck and raise your ass to relieve some of the dull aching you’re feeling in your core. “C’mon Channie, touch me.”

“But I am touching you…” he replies with a smirk on his lips. His free hand caresses your face, and he tests the gives of your lower lip with his thumb. When you suck on it, though, he takes it away and shakes his head. “What did I say?” You are lost, what happened? Did he say something?

“You’re just a cockhungry whore, uh? You can’t even wait for me to give you something, you’re so greedy you just want to take and take.”

Oh.

The realization in your face makes Chan smile. “There it is… tell me what you did wrong, and I might consider going easy on you.”

“I didn’t ask to suck your thumb-” he knows there’s something you want to add, he knows about your Daddy kink. And it turns him so fucking on, but he’s not gonna press about it. He considers your words and considers just letting it slide, but there’s flames licking at his insides.

“Too bad you didn’t ask, uh?”

Sudden, sharp pain irradiates on your left cheek and it’s less the pain and more the surprise that makes you gasp and, less than a second later, moan. Chan wants to apologize, years of conditioning making him feel guilty and mean and abusive, but he can’t deny what he feels.

He grabs your face, fingers splayed where he slapped mere seconds ago, wet thumb digging into the opposite cheek and kisses you messy and filthy, sucking your tongue in his mouth. Chan removes the last piece of clothing you have on and sits on his knees, with his thighs slightly spread apart. He holds your legs open with firm hands, one on your calf and the other clamped around your knee. He’s just… staring at your pussy. You try to squirm away and close your legs, but his eyes are suddenly on you. There’s a warning in his face that accompanies a displeased sound. “Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry” you blurt out trying to repair something before you do too much damage. You can feel wetness dripping down your folds, and Chan can too. “You’re so wet. Fuck, you love being on display for me…” He has never felt this. There’s a power rush, a shiver starting from his spine and moving towards opposite endings: towards his brain, making him lose words and making him want to act up, want to deliciously destroy you, making a mess of you and then put you back together; and on the other ending, traveling south towards his cock and balls. He’s been ready to cum the moment he sat you down and you agreed to do this.

“Love, are you just going to stare at me?” You ask when you grow too impatient to keep sitting still, a bit embarrassed too by his too focused staring. He shakes his head, and there is a quiet chuckle that can be heard in the room. His lips raise in a slow smirk, like he’s just been made aware of a secret, and you didn’t. And maybe he did.

Chan made plans for tonight. Plural. You told him you like not knowing everything in advance, so he planned different plans based on your responses to his actions. It was harder than organizing recording sessions. But since he saw your reactions earlier, he decides to stick to a precise plan. So, he acts in it.

Quickly and hard he delivers a slap on your inner thigh, the pain is a delicious sensation, hot and cold at the same time. A moment later the skin reddens to show Chan’s handprint and if possible, his cock gets ever harder. It twitches a little from where it’s hidden, head flushed and red, slowly but constantly leaking precum, forming a wet stain on his slacks .

“Fuck Chan!” You cry to his direction, eyes closed shut and brows knit in pleasure. You can feel heat where he hit you, and you want to press your fingers into it, wanting to feel the warmth and the pain and the pleasure. The moment you are ready to ask him for something, he delivers another slap in the same place. This time, though, Chan doesn’t let you breathe it out, doesn’t let you take your time to recover from it, no. He rakes his nails on your hot skin, watches as the skin quickly goes from red to white and to an even redder red where he scratched you. Digs his digits into your skin and revels in your gasps, feeling hot and ready to lose control, if a wind would blow in the room, he would cum in an instant. He’s ready for your next moan, your next gasp, but you’re quiet and your legs are trembling, and he’s scared he’s gone too far. He’s on the verge of apologizing, carrying you to the bathroom for a warm bath and cuddles and more apologies when he realizes he read you wrong. He didn’t give you too much, he gave you exactly what you needed, because -unbelievably so, for him- you’re coming. Clit untouched and your sopping hole twitching and throbbing around nothing, but you’re clearly coming. This is a different one, though. You’ve never been quiet while having an orgasm, but watching you with more attention calms him down, you look fine. He kisses you from your thigh to your cheekbone, stopping to nibble at your nipples, tongue lapping at your skin and sucking quick marks on you. “My pretty slut” a kiss on the nose, “you’re so greedy” a kiss on the right cheek, “your little pussy came untouched” a kiss on the forehead, “now I must give it some attention” a kiss on your chin. “Tell me your color?” He adds, tone sweeter and a hand caressing your face like you’re made of the finest glass.

“Green”. A smile appears on his face and he manhandles you to straddle his slacks covered thigh. Your wetness is seeping through the fabric, you squirm and he can see you’re embarrassed. “I told you I was gonna give it some attention. I want my baby girl to feel good.” He grabs you by your hips and forces you to move and grind your pussy on the fabric of his slacks. One of his hands sneaks into your hair and he pulls, stopping you from hiding into his neck. “No hiding. And stop hiding all your pretty sounds from me.”

The pleasure mixed with the overstimulation are overwhelming, and Chan’s new role is playing a big role in the moment and your arousal. His fingers are probably going to leave bruises in your skin, and you can’t wait to stand in front of a mirror to see them. Chan hands guide you back and forth and soon you’re clenching around nothing, “m’close Channie”, too desperate to control your movements.

“It’s okay, my baby. Just ask for it.” His hard cock is begging to be touched, still in the confines of his underwear and trousers. Yet, he has never been this hard and close to coming untouched. Your moans, the redness on your cheeks, the sweat matting your hair to your forehead and your incessant moans and cries of pleasure are making him lose his mind.

“Please Channie, can I cum?” You pant. “Let me cum, Daddy.” The last word is whispered, muffled into his shoulder but he hears it anyway. And he understands why you like it, the name giving him power, giving him a specific role, giving him the chance to give you exactly what you need.

“Then cum for Daddy.”

He watches you as cum, hands guiding your movements and his muscles flexing to give you as much pleasure as he can. He loves you like this, unabashed and free, vulnerable just for him.

But having you moaning and screaming his name is not enough. He doesn’t stop when you try to take a moment to collect yourself, he fixes his hold on your hips and forces your movements again. Back and forth, back and forth, again and again and it doesn’t matter how loud you whine, it doesn't matter your overstimulation, what matters now is making you cum another time. Anytime he pushes you towards him, he also pushes you down, setting an unforgiving pace that is torture on your sensitive clit. He’s relentless, but after just a few minutes you’re both rewarded with your legs clamping down on his thigh as you cum again. Unbelievably so, watching your second orgasm triggers his own orgasm and he moans your name loudly. He kisses you, messy and hungry, lips demanding and tongue insistent, claiming even your breath.

You’re gripping his shirt so hard, your fingers hurt. He delicately lays you down onto the bed and kisses you softly. As soon as his breathing comes back to normal, his worries come back too.

“Are you okay, baby? Did I hurt you? Was it too much? What do yo-“ you interrupt him with silly, quick kisses, trying to diminish his worries.

“I am more than okay.” A kiss. “I feel perfect.” A kiss. “You were perfect.” A kiss. “You’re always perfect, love.” A kiss. “I love you.” A kiss.

You kiss some more and he insists on showering together so he can take care of you and make sure you drink water and eat some fruit and chocolate. He tells you all about trying on himself what he did to you, and you’ve never loved him more.

[foone]

You know what I hate about modern mice? how pointlessly anti-repair they are. I have had plenty of mice break over time, and often it's just that some fluff or skin-flakes got wedged in the mouse wheel or under the buttons. You just need to open them up and clean them. Except.. where are the screws?

OH THERE THEY ARE. under the little skid-pads, which cannot be put back on once you take them off, because the adhesive has been ruined! You have to buy replacement pads, if they're available, and maybe cut them down to size, as well as clean off the residue of the previous pads.

You know how this problem could be fixed? JUST DON'T PUT THE PADS ON TOP OF THE SCREWS!

Then you'd have no problem. Easy to disassemble and clean.

But then it'd look 5% uglier because apparently people are scared of seeing screws, and also people might not just throw it out and buy a new one!

It's the terrible sort of weird planned obsolescence that happens as an almost accidental side effect of improving the product. Like, ball mice? They were designed to be disassembled. You didn't even need a screwdriver! Because you had to clean them regularly, or they'd gunk up too fast. Modern optical mice? They still get gunked up, the buttons and wheel still die eventually. They can be cleaned and repaired. But now that it's not required for all of them to be cleaned regularly, that function has been removed. they're designed to be disposable.

The same thing happened with TVs way back when. If you open up a TV from the 50s (or just look at the back, honestly, many of them were designed to be always-open), you'll find a schematic showing where all the tubes are and what models they are. Was this because the 1950s was a golden era of reparability? NO! it's because they burnt out all the time and you had to replace them! As soon as TVs got reliable enough that replacing tubes was no longer needed, the schematics became hidden behind paywalls and for authorized-service-personnel-only.

It would be only a minor change in aesthetics to make your mouse repairable/cleanable. Hell, most of the time when it's not simply fixed by cleaning it, it's because one of these broke:

This is an Omron D2FC-F-7N microswitch, used in a bunch of mice. It's designed to last about a million clicks. With a soldering iron and some solder (like 25$ on amazon) you can trivially replace it. New switches cost between like 10 cents and 2 dollars, depending where you buy it and how many you want. A couple bucks of parts and half an hour's worth of work, you can repair a 40$ mouse that's "died".

But they make it unnecessarily hard with the slide-pads being unreplacable. You have to find ones that match, you have to carefully clean off the old residue with IPA, or the new ones you just bought will fall off. All to make it look SLIGHTLY better (how often are you looking at the aesthetics of the bottom of your mouse, exactly? (no furries are allowed to answer this question!)) and maybe, just maybe, to push it over into "not worth it". You could do all that, but you have to buy new switches, new slide-pads/mouse-feet (SHUT UP FURRIES), and can you remember where your solder even is? you last used it when you were trying to fix that keyboard...

Basically one thing that is maddening to anyone with the very basics of electronic knowledge (seriously: the amount of skill you need for this is the kind you can get in less than an hour from watching a youtube tutorial) that we're surrounded by all this electrical nonsense that will break and have to be thrown out, but is mostly breaking in ways that could be fixed in a very short amount of time with relatively little work.

It's infuriating to go on amazon to buy another damn mouse and it pop up "hey you last bought this in 2021, you fool" and you're like I KNOW, IT SHOULD STILL BE WORKING TODAY!

I have computer parts from the 80s in my room right now that are still working when stuff made in the last 5 years is already dying! There's no reason it should be this way. It's an endless waste of time and money and resources and it's just to make some logitech or whoever executives slightly richer.

It's deeply bullshit. The modern day is going to be identifiable as the geological layer where most of the trash was generated. We're living in the middle of the quisquiliarumferous period: the layer of garbage.

[recklesssturniolo]

My Girl - C.S

toxic/very lowkey stoner/soft dom Chris but like cute at the end I guess? (thank @flowerxbunnie for this), FWB

A/N: lowkey i didn’t have a scenario for this I just went w it (,:

NSFW below, leave if you’re a minor

“Come on ma’ you know I didn’t mean it” Chris sighs, relighting his joint.

Arguing with Chris wasn’t how I wanted my night to end. However, Chris commenting about fucking another girl to Matt was more than enough to piss me off. Us now arguing back and forth in his room.

“Whatever Chris, it doesn’t matter because we aren’t together right? You fuck who you want and I’ll do the same” I huff, watching him exhale the smoke and starting to grab my stuff.

His eyes narrow at me before he speaks, “You really think anyone else can make you feel as good as I do?”

“Never know until you try right?” I smile back.

Noticing him put out his joint and start walking towards me, I roll my eyes. He grabs my head and turns it so I’m now directly facing him, our eyes staring right into each others. How red his eyes were being enough to make me want to roll my eyes again.

“You know no one can make you feel like I do, put your shit down as if you’re leaving” He says, slowly pushing me so my back was against the wall.

“I’m not doing this with you again Chris, you’re exhausting. I don’t care to hear your excuses anymore” I sigh, well aware that we went in circles over and over again.

“You’re my girl, I don’t want anyone else” He mumbles, his lips connecting with my neck and his hands on my lower back. Instantly hating myself for how his words affected me, never mind how his lips on me made me feel.

“I’m not your girl” I reply, choking back a moan as he sucks on my sweet spot.

“Yeah? Why do you always end up back here then?” He replies, pulling away and looking me in the eyes, before leaving a trail of kisses down my neck towards my chest.

With his hands slowly making their way under my shirt, his thumbs rubbing small circles over my skin, before he moves them and grabs my ass. I’m unable to get out a response, a small moan falling from my lips instead.

“Chris” I whine.

“Come on mama, let me prove no one else can make you feel as good as me” He responds.

Instead of responding I grab his face and connect our lips. His words alone causing a wetness to form between my legs.

“Jump” He mumbles through our kiss.

Doing as he said, I jump as his hand helping pull me up, my legs now wrapped around him, his hard on immediately pressing against my core. Pulling away he brings us over to his bed, pulling at my shirt for me to take it off. I do as he says as he removes his as well. Realizing I had yet to actually put on a bra and pants during my previous statement that I was leaving.

A gasp leaves my lips as Chris latches his lips around my nipples, a shutter spreading throughout my body as he sucked and flicked his tongue on it while using his hand to play with my other before switching.

“Chris please” I whine, my pussy throbbing, needing him to touch it.

He smirks up at me before moving himself lower, planting kisses on the inside of my thighs, before a final one on my clothed pussy. My hand moving to grab his hair as he did so.

“Already so wet for me” He says while simultaneously pulling my panties down.

“I need -“ I begin before he cuts me off.

“I know ma don’t worry”

I whimper as his thumb makes its way down my slits, before watching as he lowered his head, his tongue instantly licking a strip up me. He his tongue to flick my clit, flattening his tongue on my pussy momentarily before continuing to explore it with his tongue, before I feel his fingers near my entrance.

He slowly pushes on into me, as I let a moan out and my back arches. Not longer after he begins pushing a second finger into me.

“Chris” I whine.

“My name sounds so good coming out of your mouth” He responds, his fingers curling slightly inside me as he begins moving them in and out of me faster.

Continuing to eat me out, devouring my pussy as he always did, a knot begins to form in my stomach.

“I’m - I’m gonna come” I moan, my grip tightening on his hair.

“Come on ma, come on my fingers for me” He mumbles, not stopping his actions with his tongue or fingers.

As I came undone, my eye clenching shut as my legs tightened around his head, my breathing erratic as the pleasure took over my body.

“Breathe baby, you got this” He tells me, letting me ride out my high, “Such a good girl”

Once I finish, he lifts himself up and hovers his face above mine connecting our lips momentarily before beginning to removes his sweats, his boxers following.

“You ready?” He asks as he lines himself up with my entrance.

I nod in response but he speaks again, “Words, use your words”

“Yes Chris fuck please I need you inside me” I respond, not caring how desperate I sounded.

He begins slowly pushing himself into me, my face scrunching slightly as I adjust to his size.

“You can take it, I know you can” He says, looking up at me to assure I was okay.

“I - yeah just so big” I whimper, a smirk spreading on his face as I did.

Once he was fully inside of me, my arms instantly wrap around his neck, pulling him down to kiss me. The kiss filled with lust as my moans continued to spill out from between our lips.

“Faster, please” I whine out, knowing he was going easy and needing more.

“You sure mama?” He checks.

“Yes god please” I respond.

He moves his hands down to my waist, tightening his grip as his fastens his pace.

A groan falls from his lips before he mumbles, “So tight, you take me so well fuck”

My eyes roll back into my head as he continuously hit my g-spot, a mix of moans and whimpers coming from me as he did so. My nails digging into his lower back as he put my legs over his shoulders, my pleasure only increasing as he hit my g-spot harder.

“Chris fuck oh my god I’m - I’m not going to last much longer like this” I stutter out, my pleasure starting to overcome me.

“Just a little longer for me pretty girl, I wanna come with you” He groans out.

“I - I can’t” I whimper.

“For me baby, you can hold it I know you can” He replies, my nails digging deeper into his back as I resist my body’s pleas to let go.

Minutes later, my head thrown back, my breathing once again becoming uneven, with tears threatening to spill from my eyes from the constant pleasure mixed with forcing myself to wait, he finally says what I needed to hear.

“Let go, fuck let go ma” Chris says, his dick twitching inside of me.

A breath of relief leaves my mouth before a continuous flow of moans follow. My legs slowly dropping from his shoulders and shaking as I felt myself clench around his dick as he filled me up.

“Deep breathes baby, you’re okay, so pretty coming undone beneath me” He says, still coming down from his own high.

“Feels so good” I whimper as my high dies down.

Chris pulls himself out of me, once again hovering his face over mine, kissing my forehead, mumbling how good I was for him before laying on his back.

“Told you” He smirks, turning his head to look at me.

“What?” I ask, unaware of what he was referring to.

“That no one can make you feel as good as I do” He clarifies.

“Yeah yeah” I mumble, knowing once again I’d lost the argument.

Going to get up and get dressed, Chris pulls on my arm forcing me back onto the bed, “I meant it too you know”

“Meant what?” I sigh.

“That you’re my girl and that I don’t want anyone else. Don’t go” He says, his eyes almost pleading with me.

“I - okay” I reply, shocked at his words.

“I’ll do whatever you need to prove that I mean that. I don’t want you with anyone else” Chris mumbles, pulling me in closer to him and the blankets over our bodies.

TAGLIST: @sturnphilia @thatonekid536 @cupidsword @loveesiren @daddyslilchickenfingers @christinarowie332 @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @lovingsturniolo @iwantmattsobad @secret-sturniolo @soursturniolo @knowingnothingnoel @mwah0mwah @urmyslxt

[angelacostumery]

I can't even tell you how many days passed and how many curses were uttered in getting this from a mock-up of this overlay (image one) to a mostly functional bodice (image two).

It is just pleated, right? Well, no, it is also gathered and the combination makes things tricky...

Here you can see the pattern on tracing paper pinned to the fabric I'm using as an overlay, I sewed through each line that is marked, removed the paper, and used those lines of stitching as a guide for creasing and pressing the fabric.

The result is...very flat. Even flatter than my chest (impressive) which means it won't sit nicely at all. To form it to the bust the sides have to be gathered, not pleated--but I wanted to keep the definition of the pleats.

So I switched to pleats that were only 1/2" deep, then gathered in-between each one...I also switched fabrics and added some trim to the edge of each box pleat, because without it the detail of the pleats was sort of getting lost in the sheen of the fabric.

Much better! Then the entire edge was gathered down to match the measurement of the lining and the front seam was sewn.

This shows it in this state, on the dress form, resembling that mockup it all started with. But it is shinier (that is the fabric) and has more character (that is the cursing).

Some other stuff happened (lining, straps, etc.) to get it to the stage seen on the right but that is to be explained on another day!

[doitforbangchan]

thoughts on: I.N's going through a sex ban! Poor baby, homegirl must be really strong to stand for her words, and no down her panties 🥴

My 2 cents on it: it's not breaking if the down parts are clothed 😜

got me droooooliinnnnngggggg

I know you asked for my thoughts but I just had to write a lil something about this. Hope you enjoy!!

Please, Baby - Jeongin

Pairing: I.N x reader (afab)

Warnings: Fem!reader, smut (no penetrative sex), cursing, ass slapping (like once), mild switch! I.N, mild switch!reader, begging

MDNI 18+

He had been blowing up your phone all day. Over and over again, texts, voice messages, and videos of him begging you to lift the sex ban you placed on him. It had been days since you last touched him, or let him touch you for that matter.

This was all Jeongins fault though. It was his fault you weren't fucking him. He just had to feel like a big man and tell the other members about your sex life. He had been practically bragging to them about all the kinky shit you do for him. You never would have known he was spewing all your dirty secrets if it wasn't for Jisung, who couldn't look you in the eyes the last time you met up with Jeongin and the boys. When you later questioned Jeongin about Hans behavior towards you , he sheepishly admitted what he had said to them.

Since he liked to talk about your sex life so much, you would give him nothing to say. Thus here you were, on your way home from work, having had to turn off your phone for a moment of peace from your begging boyfriend. You were not looking forward to having to deal with his whining in person. Don't get it twisted, you loved sex with him. For him being so young and not very experienced, he sure knew how to please you. You can't reward bad behavior though.

Making your way to the door of your shared apartment you barely even got the key in the hole before the door was being ripped open and you were being yanked into your boyfriend. He pulled you inside, almost slamming the door behind you.

Jeongin had his hands all over you, murmuring about how 'mean' you were to have left him here " I missed you baby. Been so lonely here without you. Without feeling you around me."

You gave an annoyed sigh and removed yourself from within his arms, lightly pushing him off of you. " You didn't miss me, you missed my cunt since you haven't gotten off in a few days."

He looked at you mock hurt, "No baby that's not true! I mean, it is true I miss your pussy but I missed you more!" At the mention of your vagina his eyes lowered to it and let his eyes linger for a moment before coming back to your eyes.

You could see right through him, he was struggling bad. He had been sending you videos and pictures of himself touching himself, but unable to get off since it wasn't to your touch. He still had a boner you could see through his grey sweats. The pair he wears when he wants to turn you on, because he knows he looks too good in that pair.

"If that's true, Innie, then why don't we spend some time together. We can make dinner?" You asked expectantly, acting like he was having no effect on you, when in reality you were just as desperate as him. Stay strong, y/n.

His eyes gave you one more scan before replying slowly, " Sure baby, we can make dinner together." He allowed you to set your stuff down before following you into the kitchen.

You were cutting vegetables when you felt him come up behind you. You gave him a light warning, "Innie..."

"Please, Baby. Please. Let me make you feel good." He was begging you. It almost made you give in.

You set the knife down and gripped the counter in front of you. "No, Innie, you cant fuck me right now."

Jeongins gripped your hips almost harshly. He slowly started to roll his hips into your ass from behind. " Fine. I don't need to fuck you to get what I want. You better hold on to the counter."

From there he was like a rabid dog in heat, using one of his hands to bend you over the counter, the other hand jutting your ass out further for him. He picked up the pace of his grinding on you, hips rutting against you so quickly and forcefully you barely had any time to comprehend what was happening.

You could feel just how hard he was through both layers of your clothes. He needed this. His dominate side was starting to show now. He used one hand to grope your tits, moaning into your ear when he makes contact with them. "mmmm baby, so so soft for me." He bit the side of your ear.

"Innie" You let out a small moan, even through all the layers he still felt so good on your ass.

Your sounds encouraged him to pick up the pace. Now full on humping you for his pleasure.

"Oh now you want it baby? Where was this attitude earlier when I was begging you? Hmmm I don't think so. This isn't about you anymore." You could tell he was close to cumming in his pants, the friction rubbing his cock deliciously. His words made you moan even louder.

His grunting got louder and it only took another few humps before he was spilling into his sweats with a loud "Fuck!" Jeongin gave you a few more thrusts before he pulled his body away from yours with a slap to your ass, breathing heavy.

He laid a kiss to the back of your head and turned to walk down the hall.

" I'll be right back, baby, then we can finish making dinner together."

You wished you just gave into him, then it could have been you taking his cum instead of his sweats.

[fandomonetwo]

ain'tcha just the cutest — miguel diaz

▸summary: you have a phrase that you love to say to your boyfriend. miguel loves when you say it. win-win.

▸characters: miguel diaz, gn!reader

▸tw: fluff and sweet moments and cute stuff

▸a/n: uhhhhhhhhh personally i'm an angst girly but i need to expand my skills

IT IS A well known fact that Miguel is not a morning person. He is a bomb-sleeper. An earthquake could hit and he'd simply switch to the other side and continue dreaming.

This is the reason why you were awake, and he was not. Mind you, it was nine in the morning, but you had nothing to do, so you could kill a couple hours more.

You were not a strong sleeper. You were a lightweight, and once the slumber was gone, it was gone. It had happened a few times, but it was lessening recently, which you were thankful for. It just meant that you still got up early, sometimes at the crack of dawn.

It also meant that Miguel had his arms around you, restricting your options of escape as he snored delicately next to you. You wouldn't move for the world, but you had needs, and unfortunately, his arm was, in fact, pushing down on your bladder.

You tried slipping from his grip. He only tightened it and grumbled. You tried waking him up. He only cuddled more into you. You tried to wriggle out and forcibly remove his harm from around you. He simply slapped your hand away in his sleep and sighed as he placed back around you. It was futile. But it was cute.

But you really needed the bathroom.

So you resorted to an absolute manipulation strategy. You placed kiss after kiss after smooch after peck on his face until her eventually had to rub his eyes open. You took your chance, darting from his grasp before he could secure back to him. You chuckled lightly as you heard him whine into the pillow.

You came out of the bathroom finding him in exactly the same position he was in a couple of minutes ago, breathing deeply and half his head smushed in the pillow. You knelt next to the bed, brushing his very lovely hair away from his face. He grumbled again, grabbing your hand lazily and holding it to his chest.

You chuckled again, getting back into bed in a sitting up position so to be more comfortable as you played on your phone. You stroked his hair after freeing the hand he had grabbed.

"Ain'tcha just the cutest?" you mumbled under your breath. He nuzzled into your ribs, tickling you a little.

There was no reply, but that was the first time you said it.

The next time you said it, it was his birthday. You had wished him a happy birthday, and had given him his gift. It was a bracelet that he commanded you put on him immediately.

After the day went by, you paid him another visit, carrying a wicker basket with a blanket over the top. When you announced it was picnic time, he nearly tripped after trying to put on his best pants quickly.

Luckily, you managed to get to the grassy spot you had meditated on using a few hours ago without harm. He was fine, you were fine, everything was fine. You laughed through the afternoon, you kissing into the sunset, and you ate into the evening.

He must've been ravenous, because when you looked at him after taking a picture of the sunset on your phone, you burst out laughing. This boy had tomato sauce all over his face, and he still continued to devour the plate of spaghetti in front of him.

"Whatcha laughing at?" he asked, his words muffled because of the spaghetti. This only made you laugh harder, falling backwards as you clutched your sides. Poor guy was so confused when you started gasping for breath, looking at you with wide eyes.

When you sat back up, you grabbed a napkin from the basket, bringing it to his face. You held his face in one hand and wiped the sauce from the other. The previous exaggeration was not quite true. It was not all over his face. It was just gathered in the corners of his mouth, like a toddler. He waited patiently for you to finish bathing him, grinning at you when you halted.

You giggled, patting his face with the hand that was previously holding it. "Ain'tcha just the cutest?" His face lit up more than it did before, and his eyes could rivals lying saucers.

The most recent time you said it was when there was a rumour going around school about you. Something about you and your relationship history, which was actually over way before it began. But people loved to hold onto things that gave them a reason to poke their nose where it didn't belong.

So, you never let it bother you. Miguel was a little harder to persuade, but eventually, he left it alone. And it was a good decision. The rumour died down, the people lost interest, and you had a good day at school. Until you stepped into the cafeteria to see Miguel and another student tussling on the ground. The two boys were rolling around, and only did they separate when two teachers pushed past the masses of people and forcibly pulled them away from each other. Both were sent to the nurse, and you followed behind. They were sat on the two beds that were there.

You sighed as you stood in front of your boyfriend that had his head down to look at your feet. He was swinging his legs and cracking his knuckles and playing with his fingers.

"Look at me, please." Your voice was gentle and held room for negative response. But he'd never deny you anything, so he looked up at you. You sighed again.

His face wasn't as bad as the other guy's, but it was still roughed up. He was holding a tissue to his bleeding nose, his eye was a little red, he had a scratch on his cheekbone, and his knuckles were spotted like a dalmatian.

You took another tissue, wet it with your water bottle, and held it up to his scratch. You just cleaned it a little, and his twitched his eye a little. You heard the nurse and the other boy talking in the next room.

You finished cleaning the scratch before putting on a plain bandaid. You stroked his cheek.

"What did you hit him for?"

Miguel grumbled. "He was talking about you and the other guys, about how he was one of them and that he made you feel better than I do."

You frowned. You didn't even remember the other guy's face, how could he have—

Oh.

You scrunched up your nose. You'd forgotten about that.

"Miguel, he was a one night stand. Two years ago. We were at a party, and a little tipsy, and we did it." You leaned a little closer to his face. He met your eyes with his own. "I can assure you, I didn't even remember his face until now. How could he have made me feel good?"

He breathed out a laugh. "What about me?" He was blushing a little bit as he asked. "Do I make you feel good?"

You kissed his bandaid, holding his face in your hands, smushing it a little. "You make me feel best."

He grinned. He liked grinning. He had a good grin. "I make you feel best?"

"Yes, you do."

"Even though we don't..."

"Even though we don't."

"I love you lots, you know?"

That made you giggle. "I love you lots too." His eyes shone like stars when you said that, making you bump your noses together. "Ain'tcha just the cutest?"

"I am?"

"You are."

You kissed his bandaid again.

[cokou]

HIII- I’d like to make a request of Ace w fem reader on their period and Ace uses his flame Devil fruit to ease out the cramps! (y can I just have a shirtless, loud, raven-headed boyfriend with a orange cowboy hat that’s literally ✨GORGEOUS✨.. it’s just sad tbh 😔)

(ps; ur fanfics do NOT fail to make my body tingle 🤭🤭)

Note ✉* ~ I thought that I didn't appreciate Ace at all until i reached Marine ford😞, TYSM FOR REQUESTING ANONN!! || Do not translate, transfer, or reform, this is my only account (exp. Ao3), will not be cross posted anywhere. || 𖤐٭┆Masterlist

Summary* ~ Your sweet boyfriend uses his Devil Fruit to relieve your cramps💗 Warnings* ~ Modern AU || Genre* ~ SFW

ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵐᵘˢᶦᶜ, ᵈᵉᵃʳ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ?

Hot Man (Literally)

You: can you get me pads on your way to my house bae? Hot man (Literally): Is it ketchup month? Btw i already brought them for you mama :P See you at the doorstep! (You reacted ❤️) You: Love you Hot Stuff <3 (Hot Man (Literally) reacted ❤️)

You shut off your phone was you scatter around your room, brushing your hair, doing extracurricular activities before your boyfriend came over at your place. You had invited him over for dome movie night and simply because you were feeling like having him agaunst your side right now.

You impatiently wait for the doorbell to ring as you rot on your couch, browsing up stuff from the media. You jumped off the couch as you heard repeatedly ringing of your doorbell by the door, rushing over to wuickly answer the door.

"Hey mamas! Feeling good today?" Ace let's himself in as you open the door for him, placing down the take out foods by the living rooms table and slumping himself on the couch, lazily signalling you to join him and cuddle on the couch.

"Just a bit upset is all. " You ranted.

Ace rose up from the couch, still hugging you to his chest,

"What's wrong Princess?" He pats your head.

"Terrible cramps today, haha." You jokingly laugh as you take out the take-out food your boyfriend had bought for you.

"Need anything? You know I'm always here for you." Ace slumped his arm across your shoulder as he looked at the current TV show playing, slightly fixing his hat but decides to just remove it and toss it on the ground.

"Oh and, here. Your pads" He reaches over the plastic set across the living rooms table and slightly dishevel the plastic, taking out a whole box of your chosen napkin brand. You almost choked on how many he had bought and thought of how much money did he even soent and HOW he even got money to spend in the first place.

"..What the— Babe isn't that just a little bit too much? I mean..i asked for a SINGLE box, not the whole shelf!"

"Just incase of an emergency you know! I actually watched something on the media— you can do lots of things using napkins and—"

" Okay, Okay stop! Let's not discuss that subject!" You clutch on your lower abdomen and placing your food by the table as you excused yourself into the bathroom, leaving your boyfriend a little bit guilty for your own place. Whilst you were gone, Ace thought of a (stupidly) amazing idea for your little happiness.

He built a blanket fort by the living room using your huge, huge, huge blankrt from your room and turning on your led lights into something much for comforting. Yoou came back to some, cute monstrosity that he had set up, causing you to laugh loudly together with your boyfriend.

"Come here mama" He once again signals you to beckon closer to him inside the blanket fort, he hugs you making you lean towards his back as he places his hands towards your belly, slightly heading them up making a little hot-water compress made just for you. He switches the tv into a movie that you both very much enjoy eatching together.

Ace settles your position between his arms, his legs surrounding your waists as he continuously comforts you using his hand within your belly. He had also laid out your favorite snacks close to you both as you continued watching movies together.

After a few hours of watching everything you both could watch, you felt the slight hot breathing against your neck. Sce had fallen asleep, his body was warm, warm enough to serve you as a huge blanket on a cold rainy day. You quietly scatter a pillow fort inside the little blanket fort he had made and placed one beneath his head, you slide up between his arms making him slightly awake and hug you tightly towards him again, making you teo fall asleep in each others arms.

Author's Note ✉* ~ HI HI HI, this post was pretty short but i enjoyed writing it a lot! Tysm to anon eho rewuested this, love you all and stay safe guys!! <33

©Cokou 2024, all works belong to me.

[jordie-gvf]

CINEMATIC EROTICA, JAKE KISZKA

title creds to @tripthelightfatality

pic creds to @sophiechoosestheroad on instagram!

warnings : filming sexual acts, very spicy, lots of nicknames, slight master kink, oral m rec, oral f rec, unprotected sexual intercourse (wrap it up biatch), switching between dom/sub like once, slight religious corruption?, butt stuff (no penetration), breeding kink

final smut scene was written by @idwt-money

no disrespect to sex workers, i love yall!

word count : 3.4k +

As soon as Jake came home tonight from the studio, you knew something was off. 

He wouldn’t meet your gaze and went straight up the stairs without saying anything to you. you decided to leave him alone, you figured he had a bad day. 

Jake had the opposite, he had been painfully hard, due to the polaroid of your wide open legs in his wallet. He went to get a coffee before he came home and opened his wallet, the first thing he saw was your cunt. 

Jake had been upstairs for a good half hour now and his dinner was getting cold. you made smash burgers with mac and cheese, his favorite. 

You called out for him and waited for a few minutes. you heard your bedroom door open, followed by his footsteps. 

Jake sat down at the kitchen table with you, “Hey baby, sorry. Needed a minute, how was your day?” 

You smiled at him and told him all was well and told him about your day. “I did a few shots today, I got so sad at all the babies crying around me, but luckily they’ll be okay.” You were a pediatrician at the children’s clinic downtown. You loved your job, you got to take care of children. 

You and Jake barely spoke at dinner, you knew something was still wrong. You picked up your glass and went in for a sip. Mid sip, Jake asked you, “How would you feel about starting an OnlyFans?” 

You choked on your IPA, patting your chest a few times. “Are you being serious, jake?”

He nodded and continued, “We’d literally be having sex, recording it and getting money for it. Imagine how many views we’d get, babe!”

“That's not what I'm concerned about, Jake! I'm a pediatrician, not a pornstar!”

“Quit your job, we can fuck all day long and record it. Do it for me, babe.”

“I know you did not just tell me to quit my job. I love my job and I worked hard for my title and that is asking way too much. I will never quit my job because you want to parade your cock around on the internet. end of conversation, I’m done.”

You got up from the table and grabbed your plate, throwing it into the sink before walking upstairs to shower. You locked both the bedroom door and the bathroom door, not wanting to be bothered. You turned the shower on and stepped in, washing away the day. 

Somehow, Jake managed to find a way into the bathroom. He snuck into the shower, trying not to soak his phone in the process. He pressed his body up against yours, startling you. He put his front camera in your face and used his other hand to grab your jaw. 

“Look at my pretty sex kitten, all gorgeous for me. Who's my pretty girl?”

He cocked your head towards him and held your mouth open and let a trail of spit trickle from his mouth to yours. You swallowed it as best you could with your mouth being forcefully held open. 

He moved his camera down your body, keeping his hand on your jaw. He stopped moving the camera at your breasts, he removed his hand from your jaw and moved it down to touch your nipples. 

“Pretty jeweled nipples. What are those, kitten? Butterflies?”

You nodded and bit your lip while smiling. Your action made jake move the camera back up to your face. “Pretty doll face. Show em your tongue, Princess.”

You stuck your tongue out and showed the camera. “Look how pretty. Glows too, huh?” he said, more like a question.

You smiled again and he maneuvered to stand in front of you. “Get on your knees for me, sugar plum?” you instantly groveled to his feet, always ready to please him. 

He grabbed your cheek while holding his camera to your face. He used his thumb to rub up and down on the side of your face. “Such a good girl. Open your mouth.” 

You followed his orders and opened your mouth. He inserted his thumb into your mouth and you wrapped your lips around him. You swirled your tongue on the tip, lightly suckling. 

“God, you are a wet dream, kitten. Wanna suck my cock, baby?” he asked you, slowly pulling his thumb out of your mouth, spit trailing from your lips.

You nodded and moved closer to his body, grabbing onto his thighs and kissing them, making sure to leave all your love. 

Ever so gently, you left little hickies on his waist. You moved your head back to look at the art you created before he firmly grabbed the side of your neck and forced your head toward his cock. 

“I've been waiting all day to come home to get my cock sucked. Stop stalling, it gets you fucking nowhere. Suck, sugar plum.”

You pressed your hands into the tile floor and gently took his pillowy soft tip into your mouth. He threw his head back in pleasure, threading his free hand through your hair. 

“Fuck, you look so hot with a cock in your mouth. Show me those pretty eyes, sugar plum.” 

You flashed your y/e/c eyes at him and very slowly bobbed your head up and down on him and skimmed the vein on the underside of him with your tongue. He harshly grabbed your hair and yanked your head back to look at him. 

“What a slut, always ready to serve her master. Am I your master, sweetheart?” 

You pulled away from him to answer, but he pushed your head all the way down until his tip touched your throat. “Stop, keep me warm.” You stopped all your movements and kept him in the back of your throat for a few seconds, slowly getting bored.

You gently tapped his ankle, silently asking if you could touch him. “Yes peach, you can touch me. I need you to touch me,” he pleaded for your touch, letting his submissive side peek out.

You put your hands on his waist and pulled away from him. “No, baby. Why’d you stop,” he whined out for you. You looked up and down at him and whispered, “Relax, I just wanna look at you.” 

He gripped his hand tightly in your hair. “God, I fucking love you. You look so sexy when you suck my cock, pretty eyes looking right at me.”

You were growing impatient, you needed Jake and you needed him now. You pulled off of him and quickly rose to your feet, sitting on the small bench that accompanied the shower. Jake was quick to film you as you opened your legs, waiting for him to catch your drift. 

“Need me to eat your pretty cunt, sugar? You need your master to eat your pussy so bad?” 

You nodded swiftly, “Yes, I want you so bad.” 

“Hold on baby, hold on. Don't you always get what you want? Remember that one hundred and twenty five thousand dollar car, the five thousand dollar purse, the Louboutin’s, the two million dollar house, don't I always give you what you want?” 

“Yes baby, of course I remember. You always give me whatever I want.”

“Good, now shut up.” he said, smacking the outside of your thigh when he lowered his face to your cunt. He made eye contact with you before connecting his lips to your clit. He set the phone in your hand and turned it towards his face, making you watch him through a screen. 

You laced your fingers through his wet hair, gripping his hair and pulling his mouth off of you. “What’s wrong, baby? You don't want me to eat your gorgeous pussy? You know how much I love eating this pussy? Sucking on your clit, running my tongue right down,” he said, dragging his digit through your slit, collecting your nectar. He continued before you could speak, “You taste so fucking sweet, like honey. Kitten’s got a sugar sweet pussy. Look at you baby, she's puckering, she wants a kiss. Should I give her a kiss?” You stroked his hair and nodded, biting your lip at his words. He gave a wet kiss to your pussy and inhaled deeply.

“She smells good too.” He flashed his beautiful brown orbs at you before begging to continue. “Please, kitten. I need it so bad, more than you.” You lowered his head back down before turning his phone off, cutting off the video. “No one can see you, Jakey. Only me, I'm the only one allowed to watch.”

“Mm, yeah you are kitten”

He wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked hard, making your back arch and your toes curl. He removed one of his hands from your thigh and moved it up your body towards your chest, flicking and pulling on one of the butterfly charms on your nipples on the way up. He grabbed onto your cross pendant and put it in your mouth, biting your clit to tell you what to do, putting his hand back on your thigh.

You took the gold cross between your teeth and bit, your moans pushing through your teeth. “I can feel you pulsing, sugar. Thighs warming my ears, pushing my head closer to you. I fucking love you, kitten. Getting close, my love?” 

You nodded as his gaze met yours. He removed his hand from your thigh once more, coming to rub your clit as he sucked you dry. Your legs started shaking around his head, unknowingly signaling to Jake that you were close and it was coming soon. He stopped and curled his fingers deep inside you, frenetically fingering you until your ass was about to come off the bench. He quickly stopped and sat behind you on the bench, supporting you from behind before burying his fingers back inside you.

“I know, baby. I know, I know! Cum for me, my love, I know you can. You're doing so good, such a good job, love.” He said to you, guiding you through what he knows as the toughest part. He grabbed the cross from your mouth, letting you moan out. He grabbed his phone and quickly turned the camera on.

He motioned the camera towards your face, “Look at my pretty, sexy girl. Ready to cum, gonna soak my fingers, sexy baby?” He moved his phone down towards your cunt and got the perfect angle of his digits fucking you.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you repeatedly, his rhythm never faltering. You got a weird feeling in your stomach, something you never felt before. You looked up at Jake to see if he felt it too, grinning from ear to ear, as if he knew what was going to happen. He shoved the camera into your hand and used his free hand to hold you up. 

“Fuck me, Jake, I’m gonna cum!”

“Let it out, my sweet baby. Don't be afraid, soak my hand. I want it so bad,” he whispered in your ear. 

Your vision went white and all you heard was a loud splash and Jake, “good girl, baby. You did so fucking good, such a good girl. Did you see that?” He lifted you up slightly to get out from behind you. “Did you see that, baby?”

You shook your head and looked at him, silently telling him to tell you. “You fucking squirted, all over my hand. Fuck, I got it on video. I can watch it over and over again.” He kneeled in front of you and placed his hands on your knees, “I'm gonna be honest, baby. It's taken me a lot to not bend you over on this shower floor, cause I'm thinking about it.”

That's all the ammunition you needed “Do it Jakey, I want it right here.” You said to him through gritted teeth. He smirked and roughly grabbed you by the hair, pushing you down to the shower floor. You immediately dropped to your hands and knees and arched your back, displaying all to the camera. 

“Look at that pretty ass. Pretty little hole my sweet baby has.” He declared to the camera, as if he was talking to someone other than you. He cracked his heavy hand down on your ass check before rubbing it with force, making your body slightly jolt forward. “Not to mention, that pretty pussy,” he stated all while focusing on you. 

You gyrated your hips closer to his cock, about ready to push him on his back and fuck him yourself. “Patience, kitten. Only good girls who listen get fucked, got it?”

You rolled your eyes and nodded, all for Jake to grab your hair and pull you up towards him. “Was that a fucking eye roll? Did you just roll your eyes at me? Do it again and I will leave you here, all alone and wet and I’ll go fuck my hand on our bed to that pretty video I have, understood? Keep it up, see what happens.” 

“Yes, sir. I won't do it again,” you said, lying right to his face. He let go of your hair and cracked down on your ass before you fell right back down to your hands and knees. He talked to himself, “talk to me like that, fuck around and find out, Princess.” You rolled your eyes yet again, hoping he didn't see. “We’re done. What did I say?” He asked you, standing up and turning you around and grabbing your chin roughly.

You sighed loudly and snarkily said, “I promise I'll never ever do it again, pinky swear.” 

“Liar. Now you don't get shit, you fucked around and found out.”

“Please, Jakey! I won't do it again, I promise.” You got on your knees and begged, clasping your hands together and looked up at him through your eyelashes. “Yeah, I'm sure you won't.” He said as he begrudgingly turned the shower off. “Get on the bed, turn towards the headboard, on your knees. Keep your mouth shut. I don’t want to punish you, so do what I say.”

“Yes, sir.” you said to him, groping his crotch on the way to the bed.

“Get going, you little minx.”

You followed his simple instructions and did what he asked. He went into your closet and reached up, grabbing the old shoe box where you kept all your things. You couldn't see what he was taking, so you followed his instructions and faced forwards. 

“Alright sweet girl, close your eyes for me and hold your wrists out for me,” he instructed you. You ejected your arms out towards him and he held your wrists close together and secured them tightly. 

“Hold them out, towards the top of the head board,” you did exactly that, as you were sure your comforter was soaked at this point and all you wanted was his cock. 

He laced the last silk tie through the gaps in the headboard and tied your wrists to it. Jake walked over to the large dresser you had and set up his phone to record. 

“Look at you, my sexy girl. All tied up and useless. Good for nothing except fucking.” 

You kept your mouth shut, not wanting to disobey him. “You're already doing so much better, keeping your slutty mouth shut, like a good girl.” He came up to you and leaned down to make eye contact with you. He gave you a gentle kiss and lowly said, “I'll go easy, okay? I know you're sensitive.”

You let a tear fall at his words. He quickly wiped it away and kissed your face. 

He slowly got off the bed from where you were and got on the bed behind you. He lightly kneaded your ass, kneeling down and lightly pecked your asscheeks. 

“God, baby, I love you so much.” 

You looked back at him with pleading eyes, “You can say it, kitten.”

“I love you too, Jakey, so much.”

He smiled softly and grabbed his cock. “You ready for me, my love? Sure as hell wet enough, I'll tell you that.” You laughed lightly and turned your head back around to face the headboard, bracing yourself for what was about to come. 

You nodded, “Mhm, I'm ready.” He stroked his tip through your slit, getting his cock wet with your slick. 

He took his time pushing his cock into you, letting you adjust the best you could. 

His thrusts started soft and full of the love and admiration he had towards you. He could call you the dirtiest, grossest names in the book but at the end of the day, he was utterly in love with you.

“Oh, fuck... you feel so good wrapped around my cock. A beautiful pussy made just for me. Fits me so well.” He was speaking through moans and grunts as he slowly picked up his pace. 

Your replies were just soft and almost non-decipherable whines. His cock never failed you and you were still so shocked that you squirted all over Jake in the bathroom.

You noticed Jake's thrusts becoming more and more frequent, his cock hitting the deepest it could now go. As they became harsher, your hold on reality started to slip. In no time your mind would start to haze and become utterly useless. 

Jake's hand landed on your ass as he became faster, leaving a stinging sensation on your skin which would be soothed with a soft rub. 

“Oh, my poor baby. Listen to you! So fucking- ugh- needy and desperate.” It was obvious Jake was succumbing to his own pleasure. Barely being able to speak through the noises his satisfaction brought himself.

The view under him was something he was sure to be heaven on Earth. You were bound to the restraint he had put onto you and you sounded so fucking beautiful. Mixed in with the wet noises his cock was creating pushing and pulling out of you. 

Your body had tensed up, preparing itself for the immense pleasure that was about to course through it. 

“C’mon now, baby, I can feel it. Give it to me.” His voice was coarse and deep, enough to send you spiraling over the edge. 

Your hands pulled at the ribbons tying you to the bed frame but it was no use. The pleasure was ground shattering. You felt like it was running amok in your veins, seeping into your blood stream. 

Jakes hand went under you, toying at your clit and easing your through your orgasm. 

His hips stopped momentarily. 

“Can you give me another one, sugar plum?” 

“Yes, I can, Jake…please.” You nodded your head as you ignored the aching in your shoulders. You needed another one so bad, you craved it. 

Jake didn't ease into this one. His hips were plunging into you, harsh and deep. You swore you could feel it in your stomach. 

“Oh god! Please Jake!! Fuck!” You were already so overstimulated, you didn't even attempt to quiet yourself and you knew Jake had no issue with it. 

Jake always took pride in how well he was able to fuck you. He knew you like the back of his hand and by God it was his biggest honor. 

Jake himself was so close to letting his orgasm take over. 

“Jake! Please, please give it to me. I wanna fucking feel you.” You cried, you wanted nothing more than to feel him pump you full. 

Jake let go, letting his load coat your insides. His fingers digging into your ass while doing so. 

You were so overwhelmed with pleasure you let yourself go once more. 

“Good job, baby. You did so good, so good for me,” he let out a multitude of praises, “so fucking good, such a obedient girl.” He had his hand under your stomach to support you before pulling out and laying you down on the bed.

He immediately got you a pair of panties. He put them on for you and said, “gotta keep my babies in there, wanna make you a mamma.” He grabbed his phone and stopped recording, bringing the very special tape over for the two of you to watch later.

You smiled at him and brought your hand to the side of his head and stroked his hair. “I love you, Jakey.” 

“I love you most, sugar plum.” He laid down next to you in bed and rested his hand on your breast, holding it for comfort. 

“You're never gonna let go of the fact that you bought me a car, are you”

“Not until the day I die, baby."

teeny taglist : @indigofallingsky @tripthelightfatality @hellowgoodbye @feilores @haileygvf @gretnavannfleet @ourlovegrows

if you want to be added to the taglist, please message me or send me an ask!

[jiraisupportgroup]

♡ Body & Face Care Tips (for when showering is too much) ♡

Showering is hard sometimes for multiple reasons T-T

But I made a post abt hair care sans-shower so now we gotta talk about body care!! Unfortunately I don’t have as many tips as I did for the hair care one - but on the bright side it’s a little simpler ♡

~ Body Care ~

♡ Baby wipes are your best friend. Go through & wipe down every part of your body. After you hit big target areas (armpits, feet, genitals) switch to a new baby wipe. You can also get biiiiiiig ones from CVS or Walmart sometimes. Look into bathing cloths - they’re usually really big and antibacterial so they’re awesome to have on hand.

♡ If you don’t have baby wipes or bathing cloths, or just don’t want to spend the money on them, use a wet washcloth. You can use a little bit of soap on it if you need, just be sure to wipe down with just water afterwards to avoid soap residue on your skin - that can make you very itchy. I usually recommend baby soap because if you miss any it tends to be less itchy once it dries.

♡ You can also use a body sponge for this (a sponge NOT a loofa, loofas hold on to too much soap so it’s hard to use them to get excess soap off later). You also don’t really have to be at a sink! You can use just a bowl of water so you can do this anywhere. ^-^

♡ Baby powder is really good for hot months, patting a little baby powder onto high-sweat areas & joints can help prevent chafing and keep you dry & fresh through the day. You can also use a little bit of baby powder in your shoes to freshen them up, same for clothes and bedsheets - baby powder is just kind of awesome.

♡ Lotion is amazing for rehydrating skin & smelling fresh after a good wipe-down. I’m obsessed with the baby lotions because they’re not too thick so texturally it doesn’t feel as sticky.

♡ Legs & armpits can be shaved outside of the shower if you want to. Wet your legs, use conditioner or a shaving cream, and shave. Rinse off your razor frequently & make sure you wipe down the area with a wet washcloth afterwards to make sure there is no soap residue. I’ve done this on the couch before I’m not even going to lie. (You also totally don’t have to shave, absolutely 0 shame it’s not like a required thing at all, this is more so of a “if you want to” kind of thing.)

~ Face Care ~

♡ Makeup remover wipes are amazing I love them. On days where washing my face is too much I use a makeup removing wipe (even if I’m not wearing makeup) to get any oils etc off, and then follow up with a baby wipe. Works great.

♡ Micellar water is also amazing. You can use a little washcloth or pad to wipe down your face (no rinsing required) or squirt some into your hands, wipe down your face, then rinse with water. Much lighter than soap so sometimes if you’re not feeling up to the whole face washing thing, this can feel a bit less taxing.

♡ Don’t worry about all the extra stuff. If you have the energy for all the creams and serums and toners and spot treatments that’s amazing but if you don’t, just don’t do it. I promise your skin is not going to freak out if you skip out on some serums. Wash face -> moisturize -> and you should be good to go. Honestly depending on your skin type & what face wash you’re using you may not even need moisturizer either.

~ Make the Shower More Bearable ~

♡ Shower while sitting down. I bought a little kid’s plastic stool from Walmart for like $7 & it works wonders for the days where I’m too exhausted to shower.

♡ Use a shower cap so you can just focus on cleaning your body.

♡ Use a soap you enjoy the scent and texture of, switching up soap scents can make things feel new and less taxing too. If you want, use a 3-in-1 shampoo conditioner body wash combo, if it makes the process easier, just do it ♡ whatever you can do to make things easier.

♡ Shower with the lights off. Do not shave if you’re showering with the lights off. But sometimes if the idea of looking too closely at your body is too much, showering with the lights off can help a little bit. Alternatively, covering the mirror with a towel or sheet can help as well.

I’m sure there’s more than this but this is just what I usually do to keep things fresh when I don’t have the energy to shower T-T

Feel free to drop more tips in the comments / ask box if you have any! 🤍🤍🤍

[stop-talking]

You're his ex, but he's desperate for a babysitter. (pt. 3)

Mike Schmidt x fem reader

2.8k words

Tags: 18+, mike x reader, no use of y/n, smut, porn with plot, gag, bondage, exes, enemies, enemies to lovers, slowburn? sassy mike, sassy reader, brat behavior all around, switch mike, sub mike, munch mike, dom reader, oral (fem receiving), pet names, banter, angst, love-hate relationship, hate fucking, aftercare, fluff.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

This chapter is pure smut. If you're here for the story (cuz pfft who reads this stuff right...) you can skip this and still understand part 4. TLDR: they fuck.

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You sit next to Mike on the couch as you down the last bit of your coffee.

"You know, I think I'd like to use one of my favors." You smirk and put a hand on his leg as you set your mug down.

"O-oh yeah?" Mike stutters out lamely, attention immediately pulled away from whatever stupid show you turned on the T.V.

"Yeah."

Mike yelps softly as you squeeze his thigh, but doesn't make any moves to stop you. Damn it, you know exactly how to push his buttons. You always did.

"What exactly do you want from me?" He narrows his eyes at you, brow furrowing as he desperately pretends he doesn't like to be toyed with.

"What do you think I want, Mikey?"

Mike's eyes go wide as your hand inches up his thigh, but he swallows and returns the sass.

"Why don't you tell me yourself, Princess?"

You huff and shift on the couch, throwing yourself across his lap dramatically. Your back arches from the way you're laying on his legs, and you stare up at him with a pout.

"Just take me to bed already."

Mike does just that, hooking one arm under your back, and the other under your knees. He fucking princess carries you. That's new.

"Damn, you been working out?" You tease him, feeling up his bicep with one arm as you hook the other around his neck for support. He doesn't look especially muscular, hell, he doesn't feel muscular either. Of course, that could be because of the soft hoodie he's wearing.

"What do you think?" He swings you around to face the bench press in the corner of his bedroom as he nudges the door closed with his foot. You'd never seen him actually use the damn thing, but... well, he was carrying you fairly easily.

"I think you've missed me." You look up at him, eyes trailing down to his lips.

"I'm just doing you a favor, sweetheart." He tosses you on the bed before you can get that kiss you were thinking about.

"You mean you're just doing me."

"As a favor."

His stubbornness irks you, and you crawl over next to him as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"Here, let me help." You grab his leg and start taking off his sneaker. Mike's a little confused, but he lets it happen. You take the other one off as well, then wave a dismissive hand at him as you start untying his laces.

"You can take off the rest yourself."

"Fuck are you doing with my shoes?" He grumbles as he removes his hoodie and shirt.

You don't bother to answer him, and when he looks over again he realizes you're completely un-lacing his shoes.

"I need the laces."

"Do I even want to know why?" He scoffs and starts to undo his belt and shimmy out of his jeans, leaving him in just his boxers.

"Oh, you'll find out. Lie down and wait."

Mike stays put, scowling. However, It's a little hard to feign annoyance when he's, well, a little hard. He finally gives in when he realizes you're not gonna throw him any hints, and sighs as he scoots back on the bed.

"Good boy." You tease him, finally pulling the 2nd lace completely free of his shoe.

He groans, but makes no effort to stop you as you climb up on him in a straddling position. He only wishes you'd taken your shorts off first. Oh well. Not like they're covering much, anyways.

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"Not as much as you'd regret not doing this."

Mike can't argue with that. So, he doesn't try. He wraps a hand around the back of your neck and pulls you in for a kiss. His other hand finds its way to your lower back and he gives a little tug down, silently begging you to lower yourself onto him.

"Mmmph... nngh..." When the gentle tugging doesn't work, he tries whining, but everything comes out muffled with your tongue practically down his throat. He's not usually the type to just take what he wants, but damn it, he might try it soon if you keep tormenting him.

"What was that, Mikey?" You pull away from the kiss and sit up on him, finally making contact with the twitching hard-on in his boxers.

He's already breathless from the kiss, and now that he can feel you... he can't even talk. You've broken him already. He just pants and looks up at you with those big brown puppy eyes of his.

"Use your words." You scold him, and adjust yourself on top of him to brush up against him. When that doesn't get him to talk, you gently trail your nails down his chest with both hands. That really gets him going.

"Please." He hates begging. He hates this. Wasn't HE supposed to be doing YOU? And yet, here he is, already melting.

"Please what?"

"Please just do whatever-the-fuck you want." He sighs and goes limp, letting his arms drop to the bed as he tries to get his breathing under control. All that kissing made his brain go fuzzy.

"Thank you. I will."

Mike practically growls as you lean down and bite him in the crook of his neck. It quickly turns to a whimper when you start rocking your hips as well, grinding into him with those infuriatingly tiny shorts.

"Shh... Abby's asleep, remember?" Shit. The last thing he wanted to think about right now was his little sister in the room across the hall. You were right though, the walls here are thin. Mike nods and bites the inside of his cheek to quiet himself, then tugs desperately at your hips. He wants you to keep going. He needs you to keep going.

"Aww, you're so worked up already." You can't feel much through your shorts and his boxers, but you can tell his moves are getting desperate. After a minute or so of biting all down his neck and grinding on him, you decide to switch things up before he explodes.

"Fuuuuck." Mike lets out a low groan as you climb off of him. He tries to pull you back down by the hips, but you swat his hands off. No fair.

"Here, gimmie." You take his wrist and hold his arm up, fiddling with something. Before he can even process what's happening, his wrist is tied to the bedpost. Is that... his shoelace? He's not sure whether he should laugh or try and get out while he can.

"You're an evil woman." He groans, but doesn't even try to pretend he doesn't like this. Not with it literally jumping in his boxers.

"This evil woman misses your tongue, Mikey." You tsk at him quietly as you tie up his other wrist. Tight. Damn it, that's gonna hurt later.

"Fuck... sit on my face."

"What was that?" You look down at him with a smirk as you slip out of your shorts and panties, kicking them to the floor.

"Sit on my face." He repeats. "Please."

"Only because you asked so nicely."

Mike nearly dies right there when he feels your thighs wrap around the sides of his head. You aren't quite on his face, instead choosing to sit up on the top of his chest. It's still enough to drive him mad. Damn it, he shouldn't enjoy this so much.

"I... You're so..." He looks up at you, his usual scowl replaced with that dreamy expression you only ever got to see in times like this.

"So what, Mikey?" You prompt him, running your fingers through his dark brown curls with a hand. "Hm?"

"Sooooo mean." He closes his eyes and groans, leaning back into your hand as you play with his hair.

"I wanna be meaner. Suffocate you a little."

"Evil woman." His eyes twinkle as he looks up at you again, unable to hide how eager he is.

Laughing softly, you lift your hips and position yourself over his face. Much to your amusement, his arms tug at the restraints. Has he forgotten he's tied up?

"Hold still." You scold him, carefully lowering yourself. His stubble tickles a bit, but it's a familiar feeling. This isn't your first rodeo, especially not with him.

Mike already has his tongue out before you even touch his face. Honestly, he probably wants this more than you do at this point, even if you are the most infuriating person in his life. He moans when you finally make contact, surprised at just how wet you are. Damn it. You really do love toying with him.

"Shush. No moaning."

Mike whimpers a bit when you scold him, and starts bucking his hips into the air. God, he wishes his hands were free. He can't even bring himself to beg for it, too absorbed in you.

"Fuck, right there." You start to buck your hips slightly as well, grinding onto his face. His tongue is hitting just the right spot, and he fuckin' knows it. Bastard.

As soon as you give him that little sliver of praise, he loses it. Completely. He's a desperate, writhing mess beneath you, pulling against his restraints and thrusting up into the void while he eats you out like he's starved.

With one hand gently pulling his hair, and the other clinging to the headboard to steady yourself, you rock your hips. This earns you another low moan from Mike, and while the vibrations feel amazing against your clit, he needs to shut the fuck up.

"Quiet, or I'll fuckin' gag you." You hiss, yanking his hair a little harder for a moment to make a point. He returns to whimpering, for now.

God, you missed this. Mike Schmidt was a jackass, but he was a jackass that knew exactly how to make you squirm. In fact, you were squirming now. Fuck.

"I'm almost... mmm.... Mike..."

Fuck, now you're moaning his name?

Mike wants to grab your hips and pull you down into his face harder, but his hands are restrained.

He wants to grab himself and finally get off, but again, restraints.

He wants to moan, but you're threatening to gag him.

He wants to keep you in this bed with him forever, but he can tell you're close, and pretty unlikely to stick around afterwards. Even if you could be convinced, he's too stubborn to ask.

He wants to taste your cum. So he does.

"Fuuuuuck." You turn into a trembling mess on his face, your legs going weak as he licks and sucks in just the right way. He knows your body so well.

"Nngh, Mike, stop." You lift your hips, leaving him licking at the air for a moment.

"God, that was..."

Mike watches as you scoot back to sit on his chest again, and feels your thighs gently squeeze his face. When you run both hands through his hair as well, he's in heaven. He doesn't need you to say he did a good job to know he did well. He can tell by the way you caress him, and the slick dripping down his chin. He smiles at the glazed over look in your eyes, and he's sure.

"Did I earn the right to use my arms again, Princess?"

That little smug comment breaks you out of your trance. Bastard.

"Yeah, yeah. One minute." You sigh and stare down at his face. Poor boy is wrecked, your mess all over him.

Mike's eyes go wide as he watches you take off your little white tank top, your only remaining piece of clothing. He only gets a brief look at your tits before you swipe it across his face, cleaning him up.

"Hey, I was gonna eat that." He teases, staring up at your chest with hunger in his eyes.

"Yeah, well, you still can." You chuckle and stuff the tank top in his stupid smug mouth, a makeshift gag for what's to come. or cum. hah.

Mike can't help but be annoyed with you. He's clearly going insane with how badly he needs to cum, he just worked so hard to finish YOU off, and his wrists hurt. And what do you do? Gag him. Wonderful.

As soon as you finish untying one of his wrists, Mike uses his newly freed hand to yank the gag out.

"What was that for?" He scowls, reaching to untie his other wrist himself as you crawl on top of him.

"You're loud when you cum. Put it back in and bite down or you're not getting any."

He rubs his wrists and looks at the woman straddling his legs so confidently. If you'd just scoot up a little, you'd be where he really wants you, right on his cock. But he figured that probably wasn't going to happen.

"You're infuriating." He willingly shoves the gag back in his mouth, attempting to scowl through a mouthful of cotton. All his anger melts away when you tug his boxers down and finally wrap your hand around his dick. He shudders. Fuck, he's not gonna last long.

"Just let it out, Mikey." You coax him, using a soothing voice and quick hand to finish him off. He bucks his hips up into you and whimpers through the gag, eyes rolling back into his head. Precum drips from him almost immediately, and you smile. He definitely had fun.

After hardly a minute of pumping, he explodes all over his stomach and chest. Fuck, some even gets on his neck. You laugh and make a show of licking your fingers clean, eyeing him up and down.

When Mike's eyes finally flutter open, he almost gets hard again. He tries to let the image of you straddling him, completely naked, and sucking his cum off your fingers soak into his brain. He wants it burned into his eyes, Christ. Why did he ever let someone so hot get away from him?

"That was fast."

Oh, right, because she's a total witch.

"You told me to let it all out."

"Mhm. And now look at you. A mess."

Mike props himself up on his elbows and snorts.

"Gonna lick me clean too, sweetheart?"

"Nope."

God, why did he even ask? He lies back down on the bed, sexually satisfied, but mentally and physically exhausted. He hardly registers you climbing out of bed until he hears his bathroom door close.

A few minutes later, you return and toss him a rag. It's warm and damp.

"Clean yourself up, you're a big boy." You taunt him while you slip back into your shorts and panties.

Mike sighs but accepts the rag and starts to wipe himself down.

You reach for your tank top, lying discarded at the edge of the bed. Then you remember you used it to wipe up... hm. Probably best not to wear it.

"I'm stealing a shirt." You announce, turning to rifle through his dresser. Is this the shirt drawer? No, this one?

"Keep the tank-top. Free souvenir."

"Stealing? Not borrowing?" Mike scoffs, sliding his boxers back up.

"Yep. Can I take this one?" You turn and hold up a faded grey shirt with a cheesy pun on it.

"No. I like that one."

"Oookay... what about this one?"

"No. Sentimental value."

"This?"

He's tempted to keep denying you, if only to see you shirtless for longer. Damn, if you hadn't tied up his wrists he would have been all over those...

"Mike? Can I have this one?" You repeat, annoyed.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure." He grumbles, turning away in an attempt to hide his blush. It was stupid. He just ate you out, and he blushes at the sight of boobs?

You chuckle to yourself as you throw on his shirt. It smells like him. Or at least, smells like his detergent.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

"Hope you had as much fun as I did, Mikey." You lean against his bedroom door, preparing to leave.

"You don't wanna stay for a bit?" Damn it. He sounded pathetic, begging his ex to stay. This was just a favor to you, a quick release. He couldn't help but try, though.

"Hm. Don't you have to take Abby to school?"

Mike glances at the digital alarm next to his bed. Shit. They're definitely running late now.

"...Yeah. I'll, uh, see ya?"

"You promised to get a new babysitter this weekend."

He swallows, heart sinking into his stomach. Yeah, he did say that, didn't he?

"Right. Yeah."

An awkward silence lingers in the air for a few moments, so you clear your throat and speak up.

"You wanna walk me out?"

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

After quickly shuffling into some shorts and a t-shirt, Mike walks you to the front door and unlocks it for you while you gather your things. His heart wrenches at the sight of you in his shirt, though he tries not to show it. That sort of thing would usually mean you're his. But you aren't. Not anymore.

"Tell Abby I said good luck in her witching endeavors."

"Will do."

He watches you leave, and the exhaustion finally crumples him. Fuck, Abby's just gonna have to miss the first few hours of school today. He needs a nap. Or a medically induced coma.

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Author's note: This was my first time writing smut so uh hope y'all enjoy. This series is also my first attempt at fanfiction in general. I'm so excited to write the last chapter! Sorry to end on a sad note. I love angst. Sad little babygirl Mike. <3 <3

Also, is tying Mike up with shoelaces very realistic? Probably not. But it's hot. And I can't imagine he keeps bondage stuff.

Edit: Part 4

[kneelingshadowsalome]

This just reminded me of konig idk why it’s just something about it and I was like ohh!!

“My German boss was in love with me for 3 years. I didn’t know. He was so mean to me. I signed a petition to have him fired. When he was removed they found my picture in the top drawer in his desk. 🙃

Boss König who makes you print out stupid boring stuff for him so that he can see you more often, the notorious, cold-hearted Colonel seems to enjoy making you his errand girl who brings him coffee everytime he wants :( Treats you like his personal secretary who's barely fit to scrub his boots, intimidates and follows you around during company parties, why does he have to be such a mean prick??

Complaining about him to upstairs won't work because he's ranked so high and can use all his power to bully you, mainly comments on how indecent your skirt length is or how it irritates him to listen to the loud noise of your heels, when you switch to something more soft he becomes even more grumpy, now he can't hear if you walk in on him when he's stroking his cock to the thoughts of you :(

You don't even know that he jerks off furiously during lunch breaks, fapping himself with your name on his lips and cum spilling all over the underside of his desk, no: your only reality is that your boss loathes you for some reason. He never scolds other women in the building for wearing heels and skirts, he only seems to have a fixation on what you wear and has decided to play some fashion cop with you, probably trying to make you feel slutty and dirty in a professional, testosterone-filled military base like this.

But you never budge: you keep wearing your pencil skirts and high heels just to irk him, storming into his room after a hurried knock and with your breasts spilling out your blouse because you "forgot" to button it all the way up. He always looks up from his desk with his nostrils flaring from rage, the quick once over he grants you simply an attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. You don't know if he's just an old perv or if he simply despises you personally, it should be none of his business what you wear, but it's driving you insane to run on his errands and then get looked down like that.

You almost slap him once, but he catches your hand by the wrist, and for the first time ever during your time here in this lousy base you see a hint of a pleased smile tug at his lips.

"Tsk," he talks down to you like you're a misbehaving kid. "We don't want to get you fired now, do we...?"

He even dares to button up your shirt, taking a generous look at your cleavage while doing it, saying "There... Let me get that for you," as he tugs at your too tight shirt and tries to cover you up as if you were just some poor, naked girl there at his office. (Jerk!)

[roygbivvie]

-TF2 MERC KINKY HEADCANNONS-

*This is like my first time writing anything on here so have mercy on my mortal soul*

Nsfw warning obvi, so 18+..but also it gets pretty damn kinky in here so beware.

- [x] Spy

Spy in my mind is absolutely a switch. He absolutely has a daddy kink and a knife kink, but he also wants more than anything for someone (scouts mom) (or you ;0) to yank him down by his tie and force him to his knees. He likes surprises. These can be sexual in nature or not. I feel he would also like blindfolds regardless of who’s wearing it. covers your eyes and says “guess who” ass motherfucker. He’d growl too i think.

- [x] Sniper

many thoughts are to be had about this man in particular. For starters, by no means am i one to kink shame. My blog would be more of a testament to that if my likes were public. However, i simply do not think he has a piss kink. I think he puts absolutely no thought into pissing in jars besides the fact that it’s purposefully insulting to his targets in game. With that out of the way, his kinks. Do i even need to say primal kink? This fella read most dangerous game and thought: damn.. that’s kinda sexy. He wants to set you loose in the woods and track you down to fuck you. he wants it outside. he wants it dirty, sweaty, covered in blood and mud. He wants it animal style but literally. Aside from primal stuff, he loooves roadhead and hitting that thang from the back.

- [x] Scout

Now scout is a tricky one. Unlike basically all of the other mercs, i don’t think he’s super kinky. Here’s some thoughts anyways. He’d definitely start out kinda preformatively domineering, but the man has no ability to bluff. he’d ask constantly if he’s doing ok / if there’s something you want him to do. He is an absolute sucker for any praise. Compliment him on literally anything, and he’ll be a puddle in your lap.

- [x] Pyro

The mask STAYS. ON. during sex. The only way i could see them removing it is if they first blindfolded you. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just refuse for absolutely anyone to see them. So i hope you have a mask kink, because they’ve certainly developed one. Other kinks they may have would be sensory play. I’m talkin hot wax, ice, feathers, incense, maybe even needles. basically the whole shebang. Pyro also has a love for fantasy, and i feel like Ovipositors would lend quite well to that. They probably have quite the extensive bad dragon collection.

- [x] Engineer

He absolutely makes you toys.. and them suckers are POWERFUL. He’d absolutely make a fuck machine, or several. I think he’s extra into having anything you use to get off be made by him. He’s mega into overstimulating you. He likes to watch his handiwork absolutely wreck you over and over. He may even want others to watch too. I think he’d have a size kink whether you’re bigger or smaller than him, I just think he’d like the difference.

- [x] Demo

I think he likes cuddlefucking and somnophilia. Nothin sobers him up faster than waking up to head. Now when he gets in the mood for it, it’s degradation BIG time. like so bad that he probably feels he has to apologize afterwards.

He also likes to spit on you. Also i don’t know how it would work, but there’s potential kink-ery with that ghost eye of his. I don’t know how, but the potential is there.

- [x] Medic

Oh boy this freak..

Did someone say knife kink? yea. yeaaaaah. And it’s pretty extreme. He’s not just threatening you, he’ll really do it. He likes to keep you strapped to a medical bed n shit too. I think he’d like to spoon-feed people. He gets off on giving you sugar pills to make you “feel better” wait.. were those really sugar pills? fuck. You’ll wake up sore with maybe an organ or two missing, but that’s the price to pay for those big sexy jugs he’s got. Don’t worry he’s a master at aftercare.

- [x] Heavy

Size kink outta the way, I think Heavy is into Dollification. He wants to take care of you, dress you in frilly outfits, and keep you on a shelf like a little collectible next to Sasha. He might even share you with medic.. take you in to get “fixed” if he ever brakes you..

……….. fleshlight position 0////0

- [x] Soldier

WAM!!! (wet and messy) for sure. I mean the honey in the comics certainly did something for him. wearing red, white, and blue? you won’t be wearing anything in no time. I feel like degradation is also a certain for him. Don’t tell anyone but he secretly wants you to put him in his place .. he definitely doesn’t want more than anything to follow someone’s orders..